#in that there are many words i have read many times and pronounced wrong

[rose-maidenn]

🌬PAC : Your most appealing sensual qualities :-

Pile 1 :

Hii loves how are you doing?

For you I get that you know exactly how to make a person wait for something be it , your attention, your favours or your time , I get the word void for you , staying with you puts people in a state or rest or in a new world it's like you surround them with maya , it's so beautiful, be it is case of friendships or relationships you show people how worthy you are , ik nowadays how people admire nonchalance but most have got it all wrong , your way is beautiful you know how to read the room and gives them the exact amount of attention .

The way you brush your hairs in the middle of the conversation from your face is very attractive , people see your hair for hair inspo btw it's very voluminous and shiny , you remind me of the old celtic women with wavy hair, such beauty .

Moreover people really like when you wear clothes showing your waist and the way you move is very attractive it's hypnotic even , I won't be shocked if you said you learn dance because girl you're attracting the attention damn .

You're one of those people who attract attention without saying much and that is so so rare and you embody rare how stunning are youuu!!!!!!

Pile 2 :

Heyyy ,how's everything going ?

Your eyes damn those eyes , you know that they kill and you use them well angel . Your hands are very observed by other people the movement of your hands , your nails , I will not be shocked if you said you learnt mudras or reiki . I think you can easily read people's energy just by touching them. Wanna know something honey you need to be really careful about the things you say because you easily manifest . I wish all the good comes to you.

Your diction and hold on various languages and accent is very admired , the way you pronounce and the certain raspy tone to your voice is very sensual to most people it's like you're luring them in . Your anger Is so admired by many people because there's a way you fight for the causes the passion is seen in your actions and that is so attractive .

People are in awe of your thinghs I'm not even kidding , they imagine sleeping on them , they would like to see you in a sexy garter belt like damn , your skin is super shiny as well , random but I remembered coco oil by victoria's secret , maybe you should try that , your soft skin is adored by many people .

You have a luminous glow to yourself like the moon , I can't describe well but it's beautiful you're like a old Hollywood glamour queen , damn your auraaaaaa!!!!!!

Thank you so much for reading🫶✨️ , dm me if you wanna book with me 🎀 kiss kiss ♥️

[legendlarkpod]

I just want to say Errol 🤝 Me - Pronouncing Segue wrong.

(also can't believe you all roasted Errol for Segue and then let Kat pronounce Quay wrong)

((okay I can believe, love it when the DM Roleplays))

Look I've seen people say I pronounced quay wrong a few times now, so let me set the record straight.

Third pronunciation is as I pronounced it - "kway." Ms. Merriam Webster says so. And it is also how the audiobook I was listening to at the time pronounced it! Errol and I are NOT the same. I am a victim of multiple pronunciations existing!!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me when I can read simple sentences in German: Powerful. I am so powerful. Look at this knowledge I have gained. This code I have cracked.

Me trying to spell in german: FUCK. Ich bin werklich dumm. Wait. No. ich bin wirklich dumm 🙃

[foldingfittedsheets]

I, like I suspect many of the tumblr populace, ran into the issue in my youth of reading a lot of words I never heard spoken. My vocabulary has always been above average but my implementation is often flawed.

Like the day I told my dad I was the epitome of something and he laughed in my face. It wasn’t my fault that I didn’t correctly intuit the emphasis. (Mine was Ep-i-TOME vs Ep-i-to-ME).

My dad didn’t apologize for his rudeness but after my initial disgruntlement I just learned to roll with it. I’d get corrected and laugh it off. Some words were more frustrating though because it necessitated having to rework the word in my brain every time I read it. Like a few years ago when I learned I’d had “seneschal” wrong for decades. (I can’t explain why I thought it was sen-shull and not sen-es-shawl)

I learned that I had harbinger wrong during a Transformers movie without needing to embarrass myself. Thanks, Shia Lebouf. (Har-bing-er (wrong) made way more sense than har-binge-er (right) but no one asked me)

At this point in my life though I’ve managed to work out most of the kinks. I don’t often get corrected anymore.

But there’s one other snag that crops up between me and my beloved. I’ll confidently say a word and they’ll go, “That’s not how that’s pronounced.”

“Yes it is,” I’ll say, very firmly. Because in these cases I’ll generally have heard with my ears and repeated a word verbatim. I’ll know I heard it, so it can’t be wrong.

And pretty much every time I’ll be saying the British pronunciation instead of the American one. I’ve consumed enough British media that often it’s the only time I heard certain words said and I never realized American English handles it differently.

In some cases I’ll switch to the accepted American one. But they can pry machismo out of my cold dead hands, the American version is so stupid I can’t even handle it. I now recognize we stole the Spanish word but we made it worse.

[mrfoox]

Uh. Gonna be honest. Idk how tf no one thought I could have dyslexia growing up. The older I get the more I wonder if I do...

[judesprincess]

Can you write a Jude one where it includes angst to fluff then to smut loool where reader feels insecure of her chest as she has big 🍒 and Jude comforts her and reassures her and then it ends with smut please x

your request is my command, my dear. i ask you to please be patient because this is my first smut and I clearly don't have a knack for it yet; I also don't know if the request is the way you want it (let me know if you like it or not). remember that English is not my native language so there will definitely be grammatical and spelling mistakes, please ignore. happy reading, kisses 💋

warnings: insecurity (self-deprecation), dirty talk, unprotected sex – p in v (please, be safe), creampie

word count: 2878

Having big breasts may be a dream for many girls, but it definitely wasn't yours. You frowned as you looked at yourself in the mirror, wearing only your underwear, your breasts were free and exposed to the judging eyes. You hated them. You simply hated how flashy and heavy they were. You hated how they weren't as perky as you wanted them to be, and most of all, how vulgar you looked with any basic cleavage. In short, everything about them bothered you.

Of course, you were too insecure to talk to anyone about it, so you just kept that insecurity to yourself. Even so, you did your best to make sure no one saw your breasts; especially Jude. You knew it wasn't fair to him, since he'd always been the type of boyfriend who complimented you and put you up all the time, but you just couldn't help it. Since the beginning of your relationship, it was the same thing; you almost never let him touch or fully see your breasts. Suck them? Well, that was practically out of the question, there were rare times when you lost control and ended up letting Jude put his mouth on your nipples.

Jude, being the attentive and understanding boyfriend that he was, never brought up the subject or pressured you into doing anything that you weren't comfortable with. Besides, you were sure that he had no idea about your insecurity and had simply concluded that you didn't enjoy having your breasts fondled or sucked. You couldn't have been more wrong.

Jude had always been an observant boy and, of course, this only became even more pronounced after he became a man. Besides, the fact that it was you made him even more attentive and detailed. So, he was extremely quick to notice that you felt uncomfortable with your breasts, never wanting them to be seen or touched by him. You didn't hide it very well when you asked to have sex in dim light or when you asked him not to take off your shirt or, especially, when you quickly removed his hands from your breasts. Jude never pressured you about it. He wanted it to come from you to have that conversation. But it never came. He would be lying if he said he wasn't crazy to explore your tits the way he wanted, but he knew he had to be patient.

Your look of contempt grew stronger as you continued to stare at yourself in the large mirror. Your mind was buzzing with self-degrading thoughts. You wondered what Jude thought of them and you could swear he found them as ugly as you. That made everything worse.

You were so wrapped up in that negative and heavy fog that you didn't even hear Jude's footsteps getting closer and closer to the room. Not even the noise of the doorknob made you snap out of your daze, which was unusual for you, never being careless enough for someone to see you like that. So exposed.

You don't even know very well how or when you felt Jude's presence in the room, but you know very well what the feeling of realization was. Panic invaded every part of you when you saw, through the mirror, the tall and static figure a few meters away from you.  Your arms automatically moved to cover your breasts while the rest of your body moved to look for a towel or anything to hide that part you hated so much from your boyfriend's gaze.

— Honey... — Your ears barely registered the gentle tone as you continued to run from one side to the other, trying to find something useful to cover yourself. You could already feel the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, threatening to leak abundantly. — Y/N, please stop this. — Jude watched the scene with sadness. Seeing you desperate to hide your body from his eyes hurt him and he knew that this could not continue any longer. You needed to talk about this right now.

— J-Jude, get out of here. — You hated yourself the moment your voice came out broken and weak. The atmosphere became more and more tense. You turned your back as soon as you saw Jude approaching you. — Jude...

— Honey, don't push me away, please. — His voice was pleading and gentle.  His strong arms wrapped around her waist as he leaned down to place comforting kisses on her shoulder. — We need to talk about this, love.

— About what? — Your voice was shaky and you didn’t know if it was because of the kisses or the realization that Jude now knows you’re insecure. Your heart beats fast, making your breath pant.

— You know what, my love. — Now Jude’s tone, even if still gentle, is firm. You stay quiet, not even considering starting the conversation. — Since when do you feel insecure about your breasts, Y/N? — You definitely didn’t see it coming – which was naive, since you knew very well how straightforward and honest your boyfriend was about everything – and your breathing hitched.

The silence in the room was dense and awkward. Jude could feel how tense you were, but he definitely wasn’t giving up on this conversation. Not after the desperate way you reacted when you noticed him in the room, minutes ago.  He gave you time as he caressed your waist — avoiding getting too close to your breasts, which were still covered by the small towel — and lovingly kissed your shoulder and neck.

— I don’t know. — You whispered, after what seemed like hours of silence. Jude continued with the caresses, letting you feel free to say whatever you wanted. He knew that if he pressed you too much, you would panic and start crying. — I, — You stopped talking, trying to control the amount of words that threatened to come out of your mouth; the task became increasingly difficult with Jude touching you like that, transmitting so much trust and security to you. Now his large hands caressed your arms tenderly. — I just started to notice how different they were. Big and flashy. The girls around me had delicate breasts while mine are too big and look exaggerated with practically everything I wear. I don’t like the shape of them. — You said everything quickly, but Jude didn’t let a single word escape, while vehemently disagreeing with you in silence. — I feel dirty. — You whispered as if it were a secret. Because it was, in fact. You never said it out loud. Silence returned to the room as you waited for Jude to agree with you about everything you had said.

When nothing came, you gathered your courage and turned your head to look at him and were startled by what you saw. His face was tinged with indignation, but not only that. He looked offended, as if you had insulted him. You had never seen that expression on his face in your entire relationship and it made you desperate, making you try to get out of his grip. He didn't let you, pulling you even closer to his body.

— I just can't believe you said that, Y/N. — His tone was firm and as offended as his expression. You shivered. He was quick to turn you around, making you face each other. You couldn't look at him, feeling too embarrassed to do so. — Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to see you talking about yourself like that?

Your mouth opened and closed several times, unable to answer the question. He had definitely taken it personally and you didn't know how to deal with it. You watched quietly as he ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily, as if trying to reorganize his thoughts.

— Baby. — His tone returned to its previous gentleness. — I'm so sorry you feel that way. I don't even know how to react to this because honestly, your insecurity isn't even plausible. — His hand grabbed your chin, making you stare into his piercing gaze. — I really intended to sit down and talk to you, — he pulled you closer, grabbing you by the waist again; this time firmly. You felt your skin crawl at the way he grabbed you. — But hearing you talk such nonsense about those beautiful breasts shows me that maybe I need to be a little more incisive. — You choked on the words, your body shivering as he pulled you in front of the mirror. Then you understood what he wanted.  — Take off the towel and show me those tits.

— W-What? — You couldn't even think about Jude's authoritative tone. Suddenly the atmosphere in the room was heavy in a different way. A way that made your cheeks heat up and your legs go weak.

— Be a good girl and show me those beautiful tits, darling. — Jude's hoarse voice and predatory expression reflected in the mirror left no room for argument. As if to reinforce the request — no, that was an order — a strong and loud slap was left on your ass, making you scream, both from the surprise of the act and from the strong pain that settled in the affected area.

Being the good girl and with trembling hands, you let the towel fall, revealing your large breasts. Your immediate reaction was to close your eyes so as not to look at them. It didn't last long.

— Open your eyes, love. — You obeyed, as if it were automatic. — You know what I think, Y/N?  — Jude’s gaze couldn’t be described as anything other than predatory and hungry. Your insides twisted at the thought of him devouring you.

— Hm?

— I think you should get a good spanking for referring to them so disrespectfully. — The sound of another loud slap filled the room. This time, you bit your lip as your ass burned. — You must be blind not to see how beautiful and sensual those breasts are, darling.

— Jude… — You moaned as his large hands grabbed your breasts, twisting your nipples between his fingers. Your entire body was hot and you could feel your pussy completely soaked.

— You have no idea the things I want to do to them, love. — You didn’t even know how sensitive your nipples were, the intense sensation surprised you. — You have no idea how much I think about sucking and fucking them.  — He whispered hoarsely in your ear as he pressed his erection into your back. You gasped when you felt his big bulge so hard against you. — Watch what your pretty tits do to me, love. — He moans deliciously as he rubs himself with more pressure on you. — And I haven't even put them in my mouth yet. — That was too much for you, but you needed so much more.

— Please… — You begged as you rubbed yourself against him back, whimpering as you felt your pussy throb. — Jude, please…

— What do you want, hottie? —

— Suck my tits, Jude. — You begged as if you depended on it to live and you didn't even have time to think about anything else when, with record speed, Jude threw you on the bed and got on top of you.

When you felt Jude's hot, wet tongue circling your sensitive nipple, it was inevitable to wonder how you survived without it for so long. He sucked you hungrily, while he caressed your other breast deliciously. Jude had turned you into a mess of moans and lamentations.

— I'll fuck them with my cock next time... — You whimpered when he pulled away, feeling how sensitive your nipples were now. The idea of ​​having Jude's cock in your tits made you even hotter; but right now, all you needed was his cock inside you, stretching you beyond your limit. — But right now I need to fuck this beautiful little pussy, love.  — He was quick to remove your soaked panties, leaving you completely naked and exposed to his hungry gaze.

You felt your mouth water as he took off his own clothes, revealing more and more of his strong, muscular body.

— Take off your underwear now, babe. Please. — He laughed at your impatience as he got rid of the last piece, revealing his big, thick cock. The tip was wet with pre-cum. Your hole was so empty without him inside you.

— I’m going to get you ready. — He ran his fingers through your soaked folds, but you didn’t want that.

— No. Just stick that cock in me, Jude. — You demanded as you spread your legs wider for him. As much as you loved having his long fingers inside you, you didn’t know if you could survive this long without him inside you.

— What a needy little slut I have here, huh? — You moaned in agreement and tightened your grip on his strong arms as you felt him rub the blunt tip of his cock against your pussy. — So wet for me... Do you want my cock that much, princess?

— Jude, please... fuck me. — You knew you looked like a slut desperate for cock like that, but you didn't even care, since that's exactly what you were at the moment. That man had a power over your body that no one else ever had.

— Fuck. You're so tight, baby. — He groaned as he slowly thrust himself inside you.

You closed your eyes and bit your lip, feeling the familiar pain as he thrust himself all the way inside your pussy. No matter how many times you had been fucked by him, you would never get used to his size or his thickness, always struggling to take him. But you would be lying if you said you didn't love the feeling of being completely stretched and filled with his cock.

— You're doing so good, baby. Taking that cock so good. — He groaned as he left kisses all over your face. You gripped him even tighter when you felt him pull out and enter you deeply.

— Baby... — You moaned loudly as his thrusts got faster, Jude setting a delicious pace. You felt completely full, your walls clenching tightly to keep him inside forever. You cried out when he hit your G-spot, making your eyes roll back to the back of your head.

— Oh my God, baby, baby, right there! — You moved your hips, trying to keep up with his movements. The room was filled with the dirty sounds of your skin colliding, making you even more excited. Jude moaned hoarsely in your ear and his grip on your waist got tighter and tighter. You bit your lip as you imagined the purple bruises that would be left the next day. You rolled your eyes when you felt his cock kiss your cervix. — Baby, you feel so big...

— Yeah? Can you feel me here, baby? — He growled as he pressed his large palm against your belly. You threw your head back, gripping the sheets as you felt your pussy tighten even more around his cock. You knew you were close, and by the way Jude’s thrusts became even deeper and harder, he was too. — Come on, baby, cum on my cock like a good girl. — He thrust hard, abusing your sensitive spot without mercy. You cried out as you came, your body shaking all over.

Jude’s cock swelled inside you as he watched the scene, still thrusting his hips in and out of you, chasing his own climax now.

— Baby, I want to cum inside you. — He whispered breathlessly as his thrusts became even sloppier.

— It’s yours, baby, do it. — The words came out incoherently, you already feeling overstimulated from the penetration. Two more thrusts and Jude was cumming in large quantities inside you, his thick, hot liquid filling you to the point of leaking out. You moaned softly as you felt your pussy give its final contractions.  — Baby... — Now it felt too much to have him inside you, leaving you overwhelmed. Jude was quick to get the message, slowly and carefully pulling out of you.

— You were so good to me, baby. — You smiled tiredly, feeling your pussy empty and aching as his cum leaked out. Still, you couldn't help but smile, feeling completely satisfied. — Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you?

— It was perfect, Jude. It feels so good. — He smiled smugly as he stared at your pussy. You blushed at how naughty he looked.

— Look at this pretty little pussy, all fucked and filled with my cum. — You moaned as he ran his thumb over your sensitive pussy, spreading his liquid all over your pussy.

— Jude! — You screamed embarrassed.

— Let's get you cleaned up, love. Besides, I hope you never hide these pretty tits from me again, understand? — He leaned in, leaving a loving kiss on your lips. You were quick to nod, feeling completely comfortable being naked in front of him.

— Jude, I love you. — You looked at him shyly. — Thank you for always making me feel wanted and loved.

— Honey, you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I will always be here to remind you of that. — His words filled your heart, making your eyes water with tears of joy. — I love you more than anything, Y/N. — You felt every insecurity and silly fear leave your body because you knew he would always be there for you, no matter what.

well, i hope you liked it! I'm open to requests, I just ask that you be patient with the delay. kisses 💋

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

What are you trying to say? - Trevor Zegras

Word Count - 3600

Author's Note - I 100 percent projected my own dysleixia hardcore into this. This was 100 percent written for the dyslexic girlies and learning disability girlies only. Also not me accidentally maybe becoming a Trevor girlie after writing this oh no. This one is by far my favorite segment.

Warnings - light angst but like it ends happy shocking for this page, who am I becoming???

Summary - In the talking stage with Trevor Zegras you're not sure how his joking personality will respond to your struggles that you have with being an adult with dyslexia, especially since it doesn't affect you how media expects it to.

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

This isn’t something new to you, you’ve struggled your entire life with the fact that you're dyslexic. It’s a lot more complicated than people may recognize. Many people assume that it only comes up when you're trying to read something like a textbook or an article, and that when you’re finished with school it won’t really affect your daily life anymore but that’s far from the truth. In truth, being an adult with dyslexia affects you in little ways daily. From having difficulty knowing your left and right when given verbal directions, your spelling being terrible when texting others, mispronouncing certain words and being easily embarrassed when it gets pointed out, or worse sometimes the word is literally on the tip of your tongue you can even physically see in your brain but your mouth can’t form the proper sounds, how certain fonts you struggle to read vs others, or that black ink on white paper is the bane of your existence.  Although all of these are “little” things, it does impact the way you communicate with others. It does feel extremely frustrating sometimes feeling like people think that you're using your dyslexia as an “excuse” when in reality your brain is wired completely differently because of it. 

Since you first met Trevor and started talking to him, you had that fear you always do in the pit of your stomach, will he pick on you the first time that he truly can’t understand a text or the first time he hears you mispronounce a word despite years of speech therapy where you tried to but still you can’t pronounce correctly. Although, part of you knew that your fear was extremely irrational, part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that was until proven otherwise the jokester in Trevor would make a joke about something you truly couldn’t control. 

That is until today, when it happened it’s one of those rare days when you were driving and Trevor was in the passenger seat. His car was in the shop, and he needed a ride back from the arena to his apartment. Originally he was going to take an Uber but since you both already had plans after the morning skate you insisted on picking him up. 

“It’s easiest if you take this right up here to get back to my place.” He directs you without looking up from his phone,you tell him okay, turn on your left turn signal and get in the left lane. Trevor finally looks up from his phone while you're waiting at the red light for it to turn green to see you're in the wrong lane. 

“Sweetie?” asking in a questioning tone

“Hmmm” 

“This is the left lane. I told you to take a right.” Trevor says in a concerning tone as to how you were five traffic lanes away from where you needed to be. 

“sorry I thought you said ‘left’. I can make a u-turn?” Deciding in the moment you didn’t want to admit that you heard him correctly but processed the direction wrong, you offered as the traffic light finally turned green. 

“It’s alright we can just take the long way. Don’t worry about a u-turn.”  Not seeming to care at all that it will add an extra 10 minutes to the drive due to the mistake. 

As you continued driving you ended up making another wrong turn, Trevor put his left hand on your thigh and subconsiously rubbed small circles into skin to comfort your growing anxiety, he could feel this odd tension that was built up in the car. “Can you point please?” your voice barely over a whisper as you felt extremely embarrassed all of a sudden and started feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. 

“Yeah Y/N/N I can do that, we could also switch places. I can drive you the rest of the way if you need it if you're feeling anxious all of a sudden.” Trevor was being really sweet, trying to fix the problem at hand thinking it was just some anxious thoughts and not your brain processing audible information incorrectly. 

“No, pointing is good.” Forcing yourself to look straight ahead because you don’t want to accidentally catch his eyes as he looks at you with a worried look. He squeezes your thigh in a comforting way and drops the topic. The rest of the ride felt quick as he pointed and said the direction you needed to go until you reached his apartment. Finding a parking spot in the garage you parked your car, as soon as you felt your foot on the brake, and your right hand pulled the gear in park, you leaned back automatically and sighed grateful you were done driving. Trevor still had his hand on your thigh, he turned his neck so that his head was also resting on the headrest. 

Trevor patiently waited until you opened your eyes, turning to him with a soft smile. “You ready?” you ask him, as you start to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you grab your purse from the back, your hand on the door handle. His hand that was on your thigh is gone and immediately pulls you by the wrist back into your seat. As he takes his other hand and gently places it on your cheek forcing you to look at him. 

“Can we talk about it?” His voice was steady, calm, confident but soft, almost as if he was scared of your reaction. 

Smiling a little wider now, in a split second you try to decide what you want to do. Do you want to tell a boy who you’ve only been casually talking to and hanging out with a handful of times - one of them being this current moment - about being dyslexic. Although it’s not that big of a deal in retrospect, it’s something that you can never take back once you said the words. Even though it’s something so simple and common no one ever looks at you the same again. Were you ready to tell Trevor, and see his face change permanently or did you want to live in ignorant bliss for a little longer. 

“I’m fine, it’s just when I drive somewhere new I like listening to the GPS and not a person telling me directions, it helps me focus better is all.” sheepishly you admit. 

Ignorant Bliss. That’s the choice you made. 

“Okay well next time, can you tell me that so I don’t have to watch you stress yourself out please?” His hand that was on your wrist, going down to your hand playing with your hand. Taking your hand that he was playing with, fully grasping his you squeeze his hand as a silent yes, and nod your head. He leans over the middle console and quickly peaks your lips as if it was a last minute impulse and he meant the cheek. “Thank you, let's go inside.” 

—-------------------------------

Living in ignorant bliss was great for a few weeks, until you started to actually like Trevor. Talking to a guy for a few months and it not going anywhere vs meeting someone and potentially seeing at least an exclusive relationship with them were two very different things. Knowing that you saw a relationship with him in the future meant it was only a matter of time before he found out that your dyslexic which again isn’t that big of a deal, but the fact that you also lied to him a few weeks ago. Not telling him is one thing, but lying when he asked why you were struggling to drive that day is a completely different act. 

Trying to put off the inevitable you tried to push the thought to the back of your mind. Somehow convincing yourself that if you didn’t think about it, then the problem would disappear he would never find out. I mean when you didn’t know how to spell a word while texting, you just spoke it into your phone. As far as grammar no one really had perfect grammar when texting including Trevor to be perfectly honest he probably didn’t even notice half the time. Plenty of people kept all their devices in dark mode for plenty of reasons, he had no reason to ask, although you did it because it helped your eyes stay focused on the words in front of you, not for the aesthetic. 

Even so, with all of these excuses as to why he wouldn’t notice you failed to remember that certain words you truly can’t pronounce the correct way no matter how hard you try. It all came crashing down tonight when you were at Trevor’s apartment cooking dinner for the both of you. Dinner was almost done at this point, when Trevor came behind you just now re-entering the kitchen after taking an expected call from his little sister. Trevor wrapped his arms around your waist, his head resting on top of your shoulder. 

“Everything okay?” you ask your curiosity getting the best of you, even though you know it’s none of your business. 

“Yeah she’s fine.” Pressing a kiss into where your jawline and neck meet. “smells good.” He compliments your cooking as he teases you one more time with a small nip with his teeth where he just kissed you, before pulling away and resting his head on your shoulder. 

Answering shyly, you let out a “thank you.”

“Anything I can help with?” asking genuinely although you're not sure if it’s to be kind or if it’s because he’s hungry but either way you’ll take it. As he slowly unwraps himself from you, getting ready to help you in any way you need. 

Without looking up from the chicken that you're grilling on the stove, trying to concentrate on the task at hand you answer him. “Yeah actually can you grab out the mellk from the fridge for the mashed potatoes.” Not even thinking twice about what you just said until you heard a chuckle coming from across the kitchen. 

“What babe?” standing in front of a now open fridge, he could have sworn you tried to say milk but botched the word so badly, it couldn’t have possibly been.

“the mellk” finally noticing what you asked for, knowing this is one of the words people can’t help but point out how you butcher it. 

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, truly confused now that he heard it twice. 

“M - il - k “ you repeat slowing down your mouth trying to force yourself to pronounce it properly but also not speak too slowly. Hoping that it's noticeable as you force your tongue to the roof of your mouth to make the “il” sound.  

A small chuckle leaves Trevor’s lips but it wasn’t a malicious way, it was as if he chuckled because he found it adorable. “Here's the milk baby.” walking back over to you and placing it on the empty counter space next to the bowl of steaming hot cooked potatoes. Taking the chicken off the hot burner you moved to the island to where the potatoes were. 

“Sorry” you mumble as he stands beside you, his hip resting on the side of the island. 

“For what?” His eyebrows frowned, his eyes focused the side of your face the only thing he could see. Focusing on the task at hand, you used the potato masher and mashed the potatoes. Opening the milk and adding a little along with some butter that you set out earlier. 

Feeling the rise of some anxiety in your stomach, hoping that you could procrastinate just a little longer on admitting that you didn’t tell him the whole truth. Deciding if now was the time or if you were gonna dig yourself in a bigger hole by wrapping yourself in a thicker web of tiny white lies. 

Finally turning your head to the side to face him and taking a deep breath. 

For good measure making one more deep breath before you barely utter the words, your nerves getting the better of you. “I lied.” 

Trevor’s face immediately changed from confusion and concern. In an instant it became shocking and almost hurt, that the girl he thought was actually going somewhere a month in, is admitting to lying to him. Not when he told her in the beginning that lying wasn’t something he tolerated after his ex lied to him for months and manipulated him. Not when he just told his little sister not even ten minutes ago on the phone that tonight he was gonna ask you to be his official girlfriend. “What are you talking about?” his voice cracking before he could even get the word out, quickly clearing his throat to cover up his own insecurities about the possible tension that could slowly be felt brewing in his kitchen. 

“Remember a few weeks, when I was driving you to your apartment from the stad-” 

“What the FUCK does that have to do with lying to me? When did you lie to me Y/N” Not only has Trevor never once raised his voice at you in a not joking way, but he’s never cursed at you, and his tone made you close your eyes and flinch at the impact. Immediately, seeing you flinch he sighed his hand going to lightly crease her arm closest to him. “When did you lie?” asking at a much softer tone than moments before. 

“I’m trying to explain.” Trevor could have sworn he felt his chest hurt when he heard you struggling to speak, as if you were trying to get yourself not to cry. “Please let me explain.” 

“Okay” he softly let out, as he squeezed your arm not sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself as he felt the possibility of you slipping through his fingers. 

“A few weeks ago when I drove you home.” finally turning her body fully turning to face him. “I lied, When you asked me what happened. I told you I need the GPS because I get overwhelmed.” Pausing to make sure that Trevor was following along, he nodded along, “I lied, sort of,” your voice picking up in speed with each word you uttered out  “I mean I do get overwhelmed while driving but it’s not because of that it’s not that I” 

“Baby please take a breath you're scaring me” His other arm is going to cup your cheek, even though he was mad before as he heard you fixated on driving him home a few weeks ago. He knew it couldn’t have possibly been any of the terrible ideas that popped into his head, at least Trevor hoped not.

 “I sometimes get my left and right confused.” Looking up trying to gauge his reaction, watching as one of his eyebrows go down, as if to say ‘that’s all.’ 

“Okay. So that was the lie? Everyone gets confused sometimes and makes mistakes baby it’s okay” His famous smile slowly takes over his face. 

“That’s the thing is it isn’t sometimes, it’s kind of a lot when I’m driving when someone is giving me directions without pointing, and there are other things too. I mean they're small but they still affect me almost daily and I just.” 

Deciding to take a breath because if you don’t you will be more likely to trip up your words or stutter. “I’m dyslexic and it’s not really how they describe the movies.” 

His smile dropped a little and you swear it felt as if your heart felt as if it had just dropped a hundred flights down the Empire State building. “Dyslexic. Like you mix up letters when reading?”

“Yeah but it’s more than that.”

“Okay. But why didn’t you tell me when it happened? Why did you say it’s because you get overwhelmed.” 

“Because I do get overwhelmed when I make dumb mistakes like that. Plus, everytime I tell someone they never look at me the same. A lot of times they are shocked, and they also sometimes judge me because how does it not affect me the way the media portrays it? Why do I mispronounce words, why can’t I tell my left and right when someone gives me a direction, why I can’t read maps to save my fucking life but yet if I don’t have my GPS running I’m bound to a wrong turn, why does sometimes my mind decide I either can’t come up with a word at all or I can physically see it but I can’t say it and I can’t spell it because I’m such a bad speller.” 

“Shhh” not trying to cut you off but also trying to get you to breathe. “So you didn’t tell me cause you were scared I would look at you differently? Or judge you when something you can’t control comes out at random times of the day? That’s why you told me to point instead of just saying it because you didn’t wanna tell me in fear?” Not sure his tone is showing remorse for you thinking that at all or hurting that you ever would think of him in that way. 

“Yeah.” you embarrassingly admit.

Trevor spent the rest of the night listening to you and how your brain was different due to your own personal experience with being a dyslexic. The next morning you found him reading an article about the effects of different lighting and how dark mode was the best for dyslexics and certain fonts were better than others. It made you chuckle as you told him you knew and that’s why your phone was permanently in dark mode.  That day, he changed all the settings on his tv’s in his entire apartment for dark mode, even all of his own personal devices. Finding it adorable that he went on a tangent when he found out certain apps don’t support dark mode and how he said it was discriminating. Finding it harder and harder for yourself to hide your soft smile as you watched him continue his rant, your heart swelling at how passionate he sounded. 

“I really like you, you know.” you admitted when he finally stopped complaining about how Mirosoft finally started supporting dark mode it was still ‘white paper’ on black ink so they really missed the whole point. 

“Oh yeah.” as he grabs you, pulling you towards him on the couch, tangling your legs with his. 

“Yup” popping the p for emphasis.

“I really like you too. Actually I was gonna ask you.. Wanna make this official and let me call you mine.” The blush was obvious on your face, immediately turning a light red shade, nodding your head he pulled you into a soft kiss. 

—---------------------------------------------

A few weeks later you were out to dinner with a few close friends and Trevor. Currently trying to tell a story about one of your new coworkers and how you didn’t like him but mid sentence you froze. Trevor had yet to see you freeze because the word you planned to say completely escaped you. Of course this wasn’t new to your friends as they saw the familiar signs, the way in which you paused, your lips pursed in a questioning way, your hand coming up and shaking knowing it was on the tip of your tongue and you just couldn’t think of it or couldn’t pronounce it. 

What your friends weren’t used to was seeing Trevor respond to it. His response to you struggling made all of them share a glance in approval of his small action. He took your shaking hand and slipped it into his own. Immediately your small flustered expression on your face turns to him. Your friends couldn’t hear what you were saying between yourselves if you were even talking at all, but they could see the care in Trevors eyes and how your frustration seemed to melt away.

“Hi” he whispers only for you to hear after a couple seconds pass. 

A smile breaks out on your face. “Hi��� 

“What are you trying to say?” repeating the same sentence that he asked you weeks ago when you asked him to get the milk out the fridge. 

“I can’t think of it.” a sigh leaving your lips. 

“Describe it.” His forehead resting on yours as you look into his eyes. 

“You know, like a red flag.” 

“Like in dating? So a slang term?” 

“I think.” Pausing for a few seconds for your brian to catch up. “But I know it’s not called a red flag, but it’s like it, I think, like when someone does something and immediately you're like ew.” 

“An ick?” he softly suggests. Immediately your mouth forms into an o-shape in shock, making his mouth twitch into the slightest smile. Kissing his check quickly and whispering a quick ‘thanks’ and turning back to your friends. 

“Okay so like this new dude thinks he can come in and just boss all me and my other co-workers around. That’s not even the worst part like not only is he lowkey sexist, he literally only wears highwaters, immediate ick…” Trevor sat there half listening to your story with a huge smile on his face, hand on your thigh drawing patterns subconsciously as he sipped on his drink. He loves listening to you talk, how you get lost in telling stories and he’s happy he was able to help you instead of you pushing it to the side like you did all those months ago. 

That’s how it is from that night on, anytime you text him and he can’t understand it, or you can’t think of a word, or butcher the pronunciation; he will simply turn to you and ask “What are you trying to say?” 

[respected-coconut]

Crazy how so many feminist readings of Frankenstein are consistently so heteronormative and lowkey sexist in it of themselves.

Like, the whole “the women of Frankenstein are boring and docile” argument, while has its amount of merit, feels more like an excuse to just further ignore and over-generalize the women in the book instead of actually trying to analyze them. Elizabeth especially is the main victim of this reading because she’s always read as the subservient woman that doesn’t have much say in the book, yet one of her most defining instances is her standing up for Justine in front of a court of law when others were too frightened to.

She literally dropped “They call this retribution. Hateful name! When that word is pronounced, I know greater and more horrid punishments are going to be inflicted than the gloomiest tyrant has ever invented to satiate his utmost revenge” and people still want to dumb her down and define her solely through her “reliance on men”.

And the whole “Victor usurped the biological/feminine power of women to give birth.” I’m sorry, but I kinda really hate this reading so bad. Not only does it read as incredibly transphobic, but at the same time it further pushes the idea that the only power/purpose a woman has is to give birth. How can you condemn Elizabeth for being “docile and subservient to men” but then turn around and say she and women are powerful through their ability to give birth and be mothers/wives? Does that imply Victor should’ve just married and impregnated his sister/cousin? Would that have “preserved Elizabeth’s power”? because it seems to me her marriage to Victor destroyed whatever power or autonomy she had. And what about how Mary Shelley herself was struggling with pregnancies and childbirth before and while writing Frankenstein? Was she a weaker woman for not being able to give birth properly?

The women in Frankenstein are obviously less active than the men, and that is a point to be made, but at the same time, we do such a disservice by making broad and disconnected assertions without actually giving the women the time of day for what they do do.

Can we talk about how Elizabeth was groomed into the role of a mother/bride since she was four? How she had dreams and wanted to “people [the world] with imaginations of her own”? How she lost hope in those dreams following the wrongful execution of her “more than sister”? What about how Caroline Frankenstein haunts the whole narrative; how her death influences Victor’s obsession with the dead and how she forced her children into an incestuous, (mutually) non-consensual relationship? Why is it so common that people will read Justine’s existence as solely a character to bring Victor guilt rather than looking deeper into how her conviction and execution affected Elizabeth’s perception of the world? Why is there so much focus placed on what these women aren’t instead of what they are?

Ok sorry for the messy ranting. Just had a burst of energy. As usual, I’m sorry for coming off as hostile and kinda confusing but at the same time I’m just a bit frustrated with the common interpretations of Frankenstein and wanted to yap. Feel free to add more ideas, I like talking abt this kinda stuff.

[markscherz]

This might be a weird question but I can't think of a better person to ask! My nibling recently came out as non-binary and wants to change their name, but they're struggling to find something they are happy with.

They were given a feminine name at birth and are currently using a masculine name, but aren't happy with either of them. Every human name that's suggested to them is either too masc, too femme, or has poor associations. However, they love frogs, so I wondered if that might be a solution.

I've tried to find frog names that might work as a human name, but so far I'm not having much luck. It's not allowed to start with R or J, and apparently it's not allowed to have an X in it because nibling thinks they're "not cool enough" to carry that off (I've tried explaining that they're wrong, but 16 year olds are very sensitive).

If this isn't too weird a question, can you think of any frog or toad names that might be manageable as human names? We live in the UK for reference

So many thanks for even reading this giant info dump 💕

Wow this is only the second time I have gotten to help find a name for a human. What an honour.

Okay firstly, sounds 100% like your nibling is cool enough to use an X (despite my current negative emotions associated with the letter due to the Elongated Muskrat), and there are some *amazing* names out there with X's in, so they should at least consider them. Scinax and Ixalus for instance are great. Ixalus has a fun history: originally it was coined as a replacement name for Orchestes, which wasn't available because there was already a beetle genus called Orchestes. But then it turned out that Ixalus was *also* not available, because the world's most beautiful antelope, the bongo, was already called Ixalus. Only, the bongo had already been called Tragelaphus. So now Ixalus isn't the name used for *any* animal. Ixalus is Greek, meaning 'bounding, springing, spry'. Also there are numerous other frog genera that use the ending -ixalus, such as Heterixalus, Micrixalus, etc.

But, taking the lack of X seriously, here are some other alternatives. I will avoid names that are derived from other people's names, and focus on names that have a neutral ring to my ear, and are also euphonious (nice to say or hear) and fewer than four syllables. I am also only considering genus names, because there are too many species names to choose from:

Acris — meaning sharp, sour, bitter, pungent, sharp, keen, acute, energetic, eager, etc. Technically this is the feminine version of the adjective; the neuter version is Acre, but I do not think anyone would read 'Acris' and immediately think either gender. It is supposed to be pronounced with a long a, as in 'hard', but a lot of people pronounce it with a hard a as in 'ace'. This name is most familiar to Americans, because Acris are cricket frogs, widespread in the US.

[Acris crepitans, src]

Mantis — of course, the genus Mantis was coined by Linnaeus in 1758, and so it is unambiguous that this is not a frog name. However, it is very often used as part of frog taxonomic names, such as Chiromantis, Boehmantis, Guibemantis, Gephyromantis, Phlyctimantis etc. Mantis is Greek (μάντης), and means oracle, prophet, soothsayer, seer, clairvoyant, or fortune teller. The name has the feminine gender in its language of origin, but that has no bearing on its use, which, barring the character in the Marvel movies, does not seem particularly gendered to me.

[Pristimantis cruentus, src]

Dasypops — simply a delightful name, but probably not neutral enough. I have not been able to figure out what the etymology is; it might be a play on Dasypus, the Greek word meaning 'rough-footed', which is a genus of armadillos. The frog is also spectacular, but there are no photos I can legally share on tumblr.

Kaloula — a euphonic name with an unclear meaning. Very round frogs. I love them.

[Kaloula pulchra, src]

Adelotus — means 'unseen'. These are 'tusked frogs'. Males have crazy extensions of lower jaw bones, and they fight with them.

[Adelotus brevis, src]

Taruga — a Sanskrit name meaning 'tree climber'. I fucking love this name, and the frogs are just *chef's kiss* POINTY, and have really committed to bold colours.

[Taruga eques, src]

EDIT: I have been informed that taruga means ‘blockhead’ or ‘numb skull’ in Spanish, so it might not be the best choice. Sorry!

If the nibling would like to check out a list of genera themselves, there is a tolerably complete list here.

I hope this helps!

[blitzyn]

*silently give u a big hug* ty for ur works. u are amazing 😭 can i get a piece of teacher zhongli and male reader in which reader is doing very bad at his subject but he acts like a brat to the point zhongli decides he will have different teaching method with him? non con or dub con is up to u. maybe some nipple play too if you’re comfortable. ty again <3

a different method

teacher!zhongli x m!student!reader

Synopsis: Zhongli teaches his failing student a lesson he's sure to remember.

part 2 | part 3

a/n -> *silently gives a hug back* yes, ofc! this is a great idea. i had to redo this so im sorry if it took a while or its bad. i lost track of time, too lmao

wc -> 1k

cw -> non/dub-con, semi-public sex, classroom sex, 1 singular spank lol, cockwarming, anal sex, anal fingering, spit as lube, student reader

"Hey– what are you–?!" you grunted as you were pushed (slammed, more like) onto your teacher's desk.

"I have tried to be patient with you," his grip on the back of your neck hurt. "I have tried to accommodate your endless needs. But here we are. Back to square one."

You began to quickly regret your decision to pretend to fall asleep in the middle of reading a passage in your textbook. But it was supposed to be a light–hearted joke! Everyone loved the way you managed to bring up the boring mood in the room, so why was it so hard for him to appreciate your efforts? You make them want to show up to History!

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I won't do it again," you pleaded, fear beginning to set in your chest. Who knew your teacher could be so mean?

"Do you know how many people I've seen say those same words just for them to repeat their actions all over again?" he leaned into your ear. "No matter how many times you say you won't, I know that you will."

He pressed himself against you. "Maybe you can't learn the traditional way, but I have one more method that could help you remember."

He pulled you by your neck, and you couldn't help but feel akin to a helpless puppy being held by its scruff. He adjusted your body so you leaned over his desk with your ass out, presenting you with a spare textbook. He made you flip to the correct page – it was about the history of Liyue.

"Read out loud," Mr. Zhongli demanded, shifting himself so he could stand with one hand on your throat and the other resting on the curve of your ass. With a shaky nod, you complied. Majority of the page was geographical, which made it significantly harder to read.

You slightly caved in on yourself when he pulled your pants off. He was no longer at your side, but his domineering aura was more than enough to keep you in place.

He suddenly slapped your ass hard after you read over a word. You had accidentally pronounced Qingce wrong – but you were sure he knew you weren't native to Liyue or its language. Fortunately, he said the proper pronunciation, so you continued.

You tensed when you felt a wet finger prod your hole; he must have used his saliva. You couldn't fight the urge to look behind you, but his hand tightly held onto your hair before you could turn your head.

It took a lot more effort than you thought to keep yourself focused when it brushed against your prostate every so often. He only gave you a few moments before adding another one, moving them in a scissoring motion.

Your voice grew whiny and breathless, trying hard to keep a consistent rhythm. He suddenly removed his fingers as something thicker pushed up against you, forcing his way inside. You couldn't help but let out choked squeaks and moans – holy fuck he was big.

You had a general idea of his size with the way his dress pants clung to his legs, but feeling it made it seem a lot larger than it was. You yelped when he yanked your hips down, taking his cock all the way when he sat on his chair.

You loosely held the textbook in your hands, noticing them trembling uncontrollably.

"I didn't say stop, did I?" he spoke directly next to your ear. "Keep reading."

You swallowed hard as you adjusted the grip on the book, finding it hard to find where you left off. He hummed once you finally found it, his hands holding your hips firmly. He made your body move in slow circles; and you had never felt so horny in your life.

His hands left your hips to snake up your shirt, smoothing his hands over every inch of your stomach. Your breath hitched when they reached your chest, fingers brushing over your perked nipples. He pressed them in–between his thumb and index fingers, each pinch sending electricity up and down your spine.

Your cock wept precum, trailing down your shaft to the crevice of your thighs. It felt like torture not being able to touch yourself. It ached in need of some sort of stimulation.

You just managed to finish a paragraph when he removed his hands from your chest to hold your legs up, lifting you just the slightest bit in order to start fucking you. You cried out in ecstasy, arching your back, allowing him to go deeper.

The tip of his cock hit your prostate repeatedly, making you tighten around him in response. He let out low grunts next to your ear – he almost seemed like a completely different person. Who knew a history teacher could be so strong?

Skin slapping and moans filled the room as you were caught in a cloudy haze of lust, tossing your head back onto his shoulder. You watched him in your peripheral vision, face focused as a bead of sweat trailed down his temple.

You seemed as shameless as ever – letting your voice out unrestrained without a care for whoever might hear. But he couldn't have that. He's risking his job. He won't lose it to some idiot that can't be quiet.

He let go of one of your legs to shove two of his fingers in your mouth knuckles–deep, forcing a gag from you. Your noises were significantly muffled. He groaned. It felt good to finally shut you up.

A viscous fire burned in your abdomen, spreading through your body and ending at your fingertips. Your eyes rolled back when the tight coil snapped, vision going black for a moment as your orgasm washed over you. He gave out a long, drawn out groan as he came inside you. He doesn't want to dirty his clothes any further.

You heavily panted, resting on his lap before wincing as you shakily got up. You missed the full feeling, putting your clothes back on as quickly as possible.

"There will be a test in two weeks," he said, fixing himself. "I expect a good grade from you. Otherwise, I may need to discipline you again."

You meekly nodded and placed the textbook that fell out of your hands onto his desk.

As you walked out the classroom door, you weren't sure if you wanted to pass it or not.

[bishopsbeloved]

the art of falling in love (part four)

natasha romanoff x fem reader

best friend!yelena belova, aroace!yelena belova, internalised homophobia, found family trope, coming of age, angst, fluff (eventual happy ending)

part one | part two | part three | part four (4k words) | part five | epilogue

read this fic on ao3!

Natalia Romanova has lived her whole life in maybes.

When she was five years old and first banished to an orphanage in a far vast snowy corner of Russia, she thought to herself, okay. Maybe this will be the place that I find my forever family. Surely no place can be worse than that which I have come from. But the other girls she lived with were taller and crueler, and almost a year passed before a certain scraggly blonde rascal stumbled into sharing a room with her. Without hesitation she began causing havoc for every single resident. Natalia liked her immediately. It was not long before the two would share a bed at night and call one another sister.

Maybe I was right, Natalia would think to herself sleepily, as she and tiny Yelena huddled together beneath a duvet to survive the cold winter nights. Maybe this is my forever family.

It only took one day for that to fall apart for her, though. It hadn’t even occurred to her that someone might adopt Yelena without her too, or vice versa. And when that happened, and Yelena was torn away, she was at a loss.

“Не волнуйся,” Yelena reassured her as she sped around their tiny bedroom, gathering her many trinkets and treasures into a bag. “It’s okay. My mama and papa, they are very lovely, they promise they will come back for you. We will be a family together, in America. A new start. Together.” She held out a pinky earnestly.

“Together,” Natalia repeated, sealing the deal.

But two years after Yelena’s departure, she began to wonder if maybe her sister had been wrong.

She still can’t remember much of the day that they finally, finally came back for her. She was eight, and you and Yelena were both seven. Of course, she didn’t know you even existed at first — not until the long journey back, gazing down at the motherland below them as they left it behind, when Yelena babbled endlessly about her new best friend she’d made in Ohio. She doesn’t remember much of that, either — the whole day felt too perfect to be real. It’s all a blur. But still to this day, proudly framed by Alexi and hung above the fireplace, are the photos he took the day she came home.

Only a week into her life in Ohio did she ask her mother if she could change her name. Natalia Romanova was too difficult for Americans to pronounce, and it didn’t feel American. It felt as though it were just another of countless things that screamed I don’t belong. Maybe it would help her feel more acclimated to her new home. And when she worded it like that, who was Melina to deny her? So Natalia Romanova became Natasha Romanoff. You barely even batted an eyelid when the news reached you, and she’d often catch herself smiling when you went out of your way to use her full name in any situation you could.

Although it feels as though she’s loved you forever, it’s true that she was wary of you at first. That fateful moment she first met you, you came tearing into her new home to spend time with her sister and she was scared you’d take her away — but you didn’t. You shared her. And as time went on you began to share parts of yourself with Nat, too.

She’ll remember the day you won her over until her dying breath. December 3 — almost six months since she first moved to Ohio, and her first birthday there. You’d stayed over the night before, as you often did even then, and in the morning you approached her with wide adoring eyes and something clasped carefully in your hands.

“Natasha,” you began, with a slight tremor in your voice, “um, it is your birthday, obviously,” you glanced over at the gaudy banners Alexi had strung proudly around the house in declaration of this fact, “and, uhm, I know we haven’t known each other super long, or anything, but, yeah,” you finished lamely, and held out your hands to her, opening them up. “I found this super cool rock. Alexi helped me clean it. It’s pink.”

It was super cool, Natasha decided. Pink had become her favourite colour as of late — ever since she’d learnt that in America it’s for girls. She looked from the sparkly rock to your earnest, hopeful face and back again, and decided then and there that she loved you. (And maybe you even loved her back.)

The nature of said love did not make itself known to her for a good few years; even before it did, she made her best efforts to dismiss it, though. She very quickly learnt just how American girls were supposed to be — which did not include bright blue hair, or a desire to kiss other girls. Within just a few days of starting public school Natasha had bleached the dye from her hair, quashed down any potential interest in Daphne from Scooby Doo, and at night would carefully practise the American way of pronouncing words in the mirror — without her gentle Russian tinge. She tacked up posters of male pop stars in her room, and began to strategically pick which boys in her class she’d be crushing on next. Maybe, just maybe, if she kept all of this up then she’d be able to fit into her surroundings the way she was somehow never able to in the orphanage.

And for the most part, she did. She found herself becoming one of the most popular girls in class. She’d discovered that actually she was very good at fitting in, as long as she paid enough attention to everyone else. And she felt good about herself — as long as she didn’t pay attention to you and Yelena, who were entirely unbothered by the social norms she adhered so much to, and seemed a whole lot better off for it. It was entirely uncool to be so close with your sister. Her annoying little sister, and her quiet lovely best friend. Yes, as long as she avoided the two of you wherever she could, she’d be fine.

That’s how the years passed, for a long time. Natasha eventually outgrew her desire to distance herself from Yelena, and she returned to the protective tendencies she had harboured for the blonde when they were so young and alone, but what she didn’t outgrow was her need to fit in. That followed her way into high school. By sophomore year she was cheer captain and everyone in school knew her name. (She wasn’t mean, though, she always made sure of that. And she made it known that if anyone were to mess with Yelena — or you, by extension, as by this point people had started referring to you as the twins — there would be consequences.) She had friends, she had boyfriends, she had invites to parties. And as long as Natasha pretended she didn’t have a massive interest in you or a mental list of your likes and dislikes, she would be fine. Probably.

When she was sixteen she realised with startling clarity that the massive interest she acted as though she didn’t have in you was love. She and two of her good friends, Sharon and Maria, were animatedly discussing whether Sharon really loved her boyfriend or not. And the way love was described, romantic love, was identical to what she felt for you (and what any idiot could tell you felt for her, as much as everyone seemed to have agreed to pretend that you didn’t). An inexplicable attraction drawing her to you, an interest in anything you were interested in (see that time she was ten and stayed up all night researching your favourite cartoon just so she could discuss it with you over breakfast the next morning), a desire to just be with you forever. That was love. She loved you.

Oh, shit.

“You’re awful quiet, Nat,” Maria commented. Natasha cleared her throat and took a sip of juice. “Anything on your mind?”

“Just that Sharon needs to dump her shitbag of a boyfriend,” she replied shortly. Maria clapped her hands together in triumph, while Sharon let out a huff of annoyance.

“That’s what I keep saying,” Maria told her proudly, as Sharon spluttered in protest. The discussion resumed and the matter was forgotten. Natasha shoved her discovery to the back of her mind, hoping and praying she could un-discover it. Maybe if she did, things would stay okay.

Try as she might, she couldn’t, but she has tried; more determined than ever to be the perfect American girl. Over dinners she pretends to be annoyed at the teasing, saying that her accent’s gone, she’s no Russian, the American agenda has got her, that she’s almost as American as you.

“Our token Yankees,” Alexi often says merrily, to this day, clapping both you and her on the back with force that makes you wince and her giggle. She’ll whine and wrinkle her nose at him (while you just sit and blush), but secretly revel in the praise that her efforts have been so fruitful.

Barely any time into this school year, her senior year, she realised that she hadn’t had a boyfriend for a suspiciously long time.

“You and James would be cute,” offered Sharon, pointing with her fork at where her good friend and fellow Slav sat across the cafeteria, laughing about something.

“Yes,” came Natasha’s thoughtful reply, “we would, wouldn’t we?”

Every single aspect of her life was coldly calculated, unfeeling, sterile. Natasha Romanoff knew what she wanted and she would obtain it. Her pursuit of Bucky Barnes was no different. He was politely reciprocal at first, and the two entered what Nat’s friends called a situationship over the coming months. It wasn’t until a Stark house party that he turned her down.

“Natasha,” he said gently, and the word was so loud despite the music that blared only a few rooms away. He only had to say that and she knew. She sighed, and sat down on the bed in defeat, only to look up in surprise at his next words.

“I don’t… I like Steve.”

Not even Natasha could understand why she started crying. But Buck was so kind, so patient, and he held her until her tears dried. When she could speak evenly again she opened her mouth and everything came flooding out. The way she felt for you and her deep, innate fear of being different.

Bucky was quiet for a few moments in contemplation. Then he said, “I’m scared, too. Me and Steve are like you and Y/N, we known each other all our lives, and it’s like, what if whatever I do or say or feel ruins that? But you gotta… it’s…” He scratched at the back of his head. “You gotta trust it’ll work out. If you love each other proper, then even if she don’t like you back, you’ll still have her. In your life. It’ll be okay, you know. You just gotta have faith.”

Of course, Natasha knew without a shadow of a doubt how hopelessly head over heels you were for her. Rejection wasn’t what she feared. But she wasn’t sure how to word that to Bucky without sounding entirely conceited, so she just nodded. After that night, though, the two were a whole lot closer, and in no time at all they established a kind of beard situation — they’d act ambiguously involved in public so that in private they could affiliate with the ones their hearts truly desired. It wasn’t as though there weren’t queer people within their school, because of course there were, but both feared for the loss of their social standing so intensely that they saw no other option.

It was Bucky who pushed Nat to kiss you at the New Year’s party.

“If it goes wrong, come find me and we’ll drink,” he shouted over the blaring music. Both of them knew it wouldn’t go wrong, though.

But she drank anyway — for luck, she told herself, downing an impressive amount in one. She was Russian, even when she pretended she was not. A perk of that was being able to handle her liquor.

The New Year’s kiss famously went swimmingly, and Nat felt so giddy the next morning that she marvelled she hadn’t done this sooner. The two of you began to sneak around, which pleased her greatly, but she felt the words you didn’t say during the silence that would sometimes descend on the two of you. Your slight twitchiness, the way you would work yourself up to say something only to dismiss it at the last second. You didn’t want to ask what are we? for fear of the probable answer — and Natasha didn’t have an answer for you, anyway. She liked the way things were now; she had a pretty girl wrapped around her finger who she could sneak around with in private, and she could simultaneously maintain the social status she’d always had in public. She was certain that if you were ever to make her pick between the two she would spiral. Eventually you seemed to take the hint, and the hopeful silences stopped.

It never really occurred to her that she wasn’t treating you well until quite a few months into your relationship — around June, after Stark’s spring break party, once Yelena had started teasing you about a mystery girl. Every time it was mentioned in front of her she would tense, but you handled it with surprising and admirable nonchalance, and her sister seemed to have no suspicion it was her that was spoken of.

Natasha came back late one night from a hangout with friends. She’d forgotten her key and, assuming everyone was asleep, decided to let herself in through the garage rather than disturb anyone. But you and Yelena were still up and enjoying a quiet night in, as the two of you often did, huddled together under blankets on the sofa in a way that would make Natasha reminisce on the way she and Yelena used to do that in the orphanage — except they had done that to survive the bitter cold, whilst the two of you did so merely to enjoy reality TV reruns. It warmed Natasha to see her baby sister happy, at least.

The noise of one Kardashian fighting another (Natasha always got them mixed up) drowned out her quiet arrival, and the two of you were mid-conversation. She made for the stairs, not really wanting nor caring to intrude, but froze as she tuned into Yelena’s next words.

“You never really mention your mystery girl anymore, anyway,” the blonde was saying. “Did something happen? I can hurt someone.”

Natasha craned her neck to catch your next words.

“Nothing happened,” you said quietly. Defeatedly. “I just… I don’t know. I don’t think she likes me as much as I like her.”

“Ah, конечно нет, impossible,” drawled Yelena. “You are adorable, утенок. Everyone likes you.”

You murmured something unintelligible, and Yelena scoffed, but Natasha didn’t need to hear any more. She crawled up the stairs as if the world were about to slip away from beneath her feet. Suddenly everything around her was so overwhelmingly real, and she realised with sickening clarity that you were real, too. She spent the rest of that night lying in her bed, unsleeping, unmoving, counting the paint strokes on the ceiling and wondering if she could’ve gone her whole life without knowing that she’s a bad person. Maybe she has. 

That was probably the beginning of the end. When she looked you the next morning it was as though she was seeing you for the first time — you were quiet, you were pale, there were dark circles under your eyes. You were smaller somehow, as though something had defeated you completely. And Nat knew in that moment that she was too much of a coward to give herself to you, so the kindest thing she could do was let you go. If she was lucky then maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t lose you completely if she set you free now.

Right now it’s prom night. Seeing you dancing with Sam was one of the most gut-wrenching sights she’s ever endured, but he at least seems to make you happier than she ever did. It didn’t make her very happy to look at, though, so she convinced Buck to drop her home on his way back to Steve’s. (Prom was their first official date and, as Buck informed her with a proud grin as she left the car, it went fantastic.) Melina and Alexi are out — every other Friday is their date night, and while Yelena groans and gags at how ridiculously in love their parents are, Natasha just finds it sweet and hopes she’ll have something like that someday. But you’re the closest it’s ever come to that for her, and she’s fucked that one. Royally.

“Hi, Liho,” she opens the front door and mumbles to the cat, who is sat in the hall expectantly. His haunches rise defensively, and Nat just sighs. He is very much your cat, not hers, and in recent times he seems to have been picking up on the turmoil she’s been putting you through. “Look, man, she’s out being happy, without me. Isn’t that enough?”

Liho hisses, and stalks with his head held high out of the front door.

“Yeah, whatever, leave then,” Nat grumbles, and kicks the door shut behind him. Even through the thick oakwood she can hear the noises of annoyance he makes back at her.

She kicks off her heels and throws herself onto the sofa, and lays there for a long time. It would be nice, she thinks to herself, if she could just stay here forever, and never have to face the world again. And she does for a while, but eventually the front door slams, bringing in cold air and with it the announcement that you and Yelena are home. Nat tenses as she recognises the sounds of your crying, and leaps to her feet, sliding across the smooth wooden floors in her stockinged feet towards you.

“What’s going on?” she pants, taking in the scene. You’re cradling something dark and vaguely furry to your chest, and Yelena is fussing over it worriedly. She realises like a punch to the gut that it’s Liho you’re holding. “Holy shit, what —”

She freezes as she realises she’s the one who let him outside. Is he supposed to outside? She doesn’t know anything about this goddamn cat, he’s not hers. Shit. 

“Call Alexi,” you choke out. Natasha stands still frozen in shock, so Yelena lets out a mutter of “бесполезный” and charges towards the landline herself.

“Are you— okay?” Nat tries uncertainly. “What —”

“Piss off, Nat,” you cry. Ouch. Okay, she probably deserves that.

“Sorry,” she says quietly, and steps back from you. You stand in silence for a few moments until Yelena comes skidding back out into the hall.

“He’s nearly home anyway,” she pants. “He says don’t call the vet, not until Ma has looked him, we should just stop the bleeding. It was definitely a car, probably a hit and run so he said to check the doorbell camera thingy. What is their name?”

“That is the scientific term, yes,” Natasha nods, and you make a noise that’s both a laugh and a sob. “Um, I think Dad has the app on his iPad.” Not that he knows how to use it. He’s such a comedically giant man that seeing him trying to navigate the tiny device offers her a steady stream of entertainment. (“Глупый кусок жести. Делай как я говорю!”)

“On it,” Yelena nods, and sprints off to where she last saw the device.

“I’m sorry,” Nat offers again, once her sister’s out of earshot.

“Not now, Nat,” you sigh tiredly, and you sound so broken that she just wants to scoop you up and protect you from all the evil in the world. But she’s subjected you to that evil, whether she meant to or not, and now she has to deal with the consequences.

Yelena is gone and oddly quiet for a suspiciously long time.

“You okay?” you call, cupping the cat desperately to your chest as you pad off in search of her. Unsure of what else to do, Natasha follows you, hanging behind awkwardly and making sure to give you enough space.

Yelena is stood still as anything in the kitchen, staring at the iPad propped up on the counter, rewatching one clip over and over on the security camera app. Nat can’t tell what it’s of, at first, but the exact moment you realise you let out a squeak, and squeeze Liho even closer to your chest. Only a moment later does Natasha understand what it is.

It’s from quite a while ago — the timestamp says sometime late at night in March. In the clip Nat’s car pulls up onto the driveway, with her at the wheel and you in the passenger’s seat. Once the car stops, Nat leans over and she kisses you. And you kiss back. On camera.

Liho lets out a noise of pain at how tightly you’re gripping him to you. Yelena stares blankly at the screen as the video plays over and over again.

“Lena?” you ask quietly, and when the blonde turns round her eyes are glossy. “I don’t —”

The next thing Natasha knows is a sharp pain shooting through her nose, and she steps back in shock, because there’s no way Yelena’s just hit her.

“What the fuck,” Yelena says, and there’s that scratchy sound to her voice that’s only ever there when she’s trying not to cry. “The one person who is off limits and you just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

“Lena,” you cry out in alarm as the blonde raises her fist again. “Don’t, it wasn’t — it was an accident —”

“Oh, what,” she’s rounding on you now, “so you just slipped and fell into my sister’s —”

“No,” you plead desperately, “it wasn’t like that.”

“You were the mystery girl all along,” Yelena shouts, and presses her lips together with her eyes screwed tightly shut. “All the time you were right there. You lied to me.” She raises her fist again, but Nat is prepared this time and catches it neatly in her own.

“Don’t,” she says evenly, but she isn’t prepared for the hatred that burns in the green eyes that meet hers.

“How many months were you sneaking around behind my back?” Yelena hisses. Nat still holds her wrist tightly, so she merely turns her head to address you next. “Ты - лжец, how long have you been using me for her?”

“I wasn’t,” you plead, and whatever is shouted after that is indiscernible. After a few moments of noise the front door opens again, and Melina and Alexi stumble in, with a sense of urgency about them.

“Oh goodness, what is all this shouting, girls?” Melina asks loudly, and at the sound of her raised voice you all instinctively fall quiet. “In fact, this is not important. Where is this poor cat?”

You hold out the bundle of bandages and fur to her, face shiny with tears, and she scoops him up gently. “Will he be okay?”

“I don’t know,” she says shortly. “I will get him to the vet. I’ll call you.” She kisses your forehead, then Yelena’s, then Natasha’s on the way out and the front door slams behind her.

Yelena turns on you again with no less venom than before.

“You,” she says, “are not my family. And neither are you,” she adds to Natasha. “Do not speak to me.” She storms out of the room, and you, Nat and Alexi watch her leave, stunned.

“Well,” says Alexi with a jovial chuckle, clapping his hands and rubbing them together, “she seems a little upset, да?”

[blasphemecel]

Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness — Fanned Out

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader/Alexis Ness WORD COUNT: 2.1k TYPE: Humor, Bad flirting (it's getting worse somehow) NOTE(S): This happens directly after Dog Walking. Another one shot with this reader character is Wardrobe Malfunction (U don't need to read either to know what's going on)

You thought after Ness gave you that sermon earlier, trying to indoctrinate you into the Kaiser cult or whatever, the topic would be over and done with. But no, he’s still going. You wonder how he can go on and on, and on, and on, and on about something so worthless.

Maybe you’re becoming a part of the problem, though, and this isn’t a notion that occurs to you often. You’re sitting next to Kaiser of your own volition, after all, leaving you between them while Ness lectures you from the other side.

In your defense, your plan seemed like it would have a high chance of success. You assumed for sure Ness would be too embarrassed to keep talking about that stuff right in front of Kaiser, and here you are, wrong.

Kaiser also appears to still be half-asleep or something because he’s just picking at his breakfast without paying any heed to either of you. His movements are sluggish and he’s unresponsive, which makes his company about fifteen times more pleasant than it usually is.

“I mean, it’s just- How dare you take Kaiser’s first kiss so carelessly?! If you’re going to do that, it’s at least worth a confession.”

Your abrupt laughter results in you choking on your food and sends you into a severe coughing fit, to the point you’re slapping the table with too much force and gasping for breath. You knew it. This man is going to put you in the dirt.

It takes Kaiser precisely two blinks to register what Ness just blurted out, and it does a great job of shaking the drowsiness out of his system. The two of them are ignoring you as if you’re not on the brink of asphyxiating, and Kaiser seethes, “Ness, you shithead! Just because I fucking tell you something doesn’t mean you need to announce it to the world. What the hell?”

“Sorry, Kaiser,” Ness says, flinching. Apparently he has ordained that your offenses haven’t yet stacked up to deserving the death penalty, though, because he takes mercy on you and smacks you on the back until you spit out whatever got stuck in your throat.

Kaiser stares at you as if your hacking was in some way inconvenient to him. Ness is still babbling, muttering apologies both of your ways (though the ones directed at Kaiser are, of course, more fussy).

Despite the post-almost dying haze, you speak in your typical derisive fashion, “You can’t be serious? That was your first kiss? That’s just pathetic.” For good measure, you add in another cackle at the end.

“It’s not like I’ve never had the opportunity to kiss anyone,” justifies Kaiser. What to make this sentence any sadder than Ness nodding in agreement in the background, like he feels the need to provide some kind of confirmation? “I don’t care about useless gestures like this. How many people have you kissed before, anyway, huh?”

“A profitable amount.” You shrug.

“What does that even mean,” Ness asks in the most incurious tone possible.

“Honestly a little disappointing you’d waste your time on stupid shit instead of giving football your all. I expected better from you.”

Wow, leave it to Kaiser to try and make you look like a loser for this. You kind of respect the move, but you won’t admit it to his face.

“I guess it’s a little wild I have experiences outside of football. Wanna know what’s wilder, though?”

“No. Talk to the-”

“How quick you folded even though you’ve never done it before. That's crazy.” Kaiser rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t discourage you from continuing, “Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I tend to have this effect on people.”

“Shut up! Kaiser is not easy.”

“You’re such an embarrassment,” Kaiser says, looking at Ness with a very pronounced lack of amusement.

He is about to apologize again — what is he even sorry for? existing? — but this brings your attention back to him, and you swing an arm around his shoulders with a look of intrigue. “You seem like the kinda guy who's never kissed anyone before either. Want me to remedy that for you, too?”

“N-No! Why would you even want to do that with me? You’re sick.” With these final words, Ness proceeds to… hop out of his seat and run off to a different table. Overkill much? Does he have no self esteem at all?

You stare incredulously at the spot he was previously sitting in along with Kaiser, and then you turn to look at each other with a vague sense of confusion as if you’re both unsure you actually witnessed this happen.

“So,” Kaiser begins, fumbling around his food with his fork in a manner he probably considers nonchalant, “if you didn’t notice it was my first time kissing someone, that means it was good and you liked it.”

You smile at him. “With how skilled you are at jumping to conclusions, you should consider a career change to obstacle course racing. Would you like a performance review? Constructive criticism? A rating from one to ten?”

In an impressive show of restraint, Kaiser doesn’t throw any of the bowls in your face.

___

Kaiser has been staring at himself in the mirror for more than thirty minutes with a thoughtless smile on his face.

You’re getting this estimate from the fact he was doing this when you first walked in, and the shit you were taking was on the tougher side, and now you’re done and he’s still at it. He does this nonsense every morning, though, so you’re about to leave him alone… until an idea crosses your mind.

You approach, your reflection coming closer and closer ominously. “Kaiser.”

“Go away. You’re interrupting me,” he says, despite not doing anything you can see at all.

“Hear me out for a second. You can go back to psychotically talking to yourself after.”

“I wasn’t ‘psychotically talking to myself.’”

“Really? Because it looked to me like you were giving yourself a motivational speech in your head.”

“What the fuck do you want? Just get on with it. I don’t have time for this.”

“Clumsy topic segue. But anyway, I’ve been feeling kind of bad about the stuff with the kiss.” Just the mention of it is enough to make him pull an annoyed expression, but you disregard it. “I wanna do something nice for you.”

He looks at you in a way someone who just swallowed an entire lemon, with the exocarp and all, might — weird, but unmistakably thrown off and irked. In a sarcastic tone, he asks, “Why would you want to do something nice for me? Since when are you such a good samaritan?”

You turn around and pull yourself up over the vanity, unfazed by his attitude. “Let me do your eyeliner thing for you.”

…?

It is obvious you have an ulterior motive here. Kaiser’s eyes dart between you and the make-up appliance. He only has his curiosity to blame when he hands it over to you after a while of paranoid scrutiny.

You lean in and push his hair aside with your fingers, using your other hand to draw the usual wing under his waterline. Despite the lack of suspicious or otherwise unusual movements on your end, Kaiser is tense. Nothing sinister is happening and it’s weirding him out.

You finish and switch to the other one. This is unsettling. A sense of foreboding looms over him, and though you’re being prompt about it, the process seems long and arduous in his mind.

Once you’re done, in one swift motion — as if you’ve practiced before — you press the tip of the pen against his forehead and scrawl something, before backing off and beaming at him with smug satisfaction. It all happens so quickly, he doesn’t react with more than a blink at first.

Kaiser’s brows furrow and he glances at himself in the mirror, confirming the unthinkable. “Did you just sign my fucking forehead?”

“For my biggest fan.”

“I’m not your fan. Get over yourself. You’re not Drake.”

“I figured it was fair you’d get my first ever autograph, since I got your first kiss.”

“Go to hell and burn while you’re at it! I have to clean this now.”

“Why would you clean it?” you ask. What kind of moron are you, Kaiser wonders. “I think you should get it tattooed. It costs millions, you know? In fact, you should show it off in front of the others.”

“Please. Whatever I wipe myself with would cost ten times more than your signature ever will.”

“If it helps you sleep at night, Kaiser,” you relent, still coming off as very pleased with yourself, which makes this whole thing more annoying than it needs to be. Though he looks like he’s about to bite your face off, you invade his personal space even further and inch closer, your nose almost brushing against his. “You can say anything you want. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re my little bitch.”

“Stop calling me that! What’s wrong with you?!” he fumes, reaching to grip your waist and attempting to push you off the countertop.

You almost fall despite resisting, too, but you throw the eyeliner at his face, and it creates enough of a diversion for you to slide down without accident. You’re at the door by the time you turn around to address him again. “I have to admit, the elephantine size of your forehead is what really made this possible for me. Thank you for this opportunity.”

Ele- ele-what?

He clenches his fists, grits his teeth, on the cusp of a hypertension headache. You’re so going to get it! Kaiser doesn’t know yet how he will go about hiring a hitman to kill you while you’re both still stuck in Blue Lock, but Ness is here, which means murder isn’t entirely off the table.

___

Kaiser relays the story of your little bathroom encounter to Ness with the seriousness and urgency of a kidnapper laying down ransom demands. Another person’s name on his- his- his… royal but not at all big forehead, it’s sacrilegious. He’s getting pissed off all over again thinking about it.

Of course, Ness, too, treats the matter as deserving of the gravity Kaiser is giving it. “Don’t worry,” he says. But Kaiser isn’t worried. He is bloodthirsty. “There’s only one way to deal with inflated balloon heads like that. I’ll take care of it.”

“How? You know something I don’t?”

With his usual guileless smile on his face — reminiscent of a frog — Ness leads the way and, in an uncharacteristically confident manner, promises you ‘will be very embarrassed.’

By now Kaiser is following him just because he wants to see whatever is about to go down. It doesn’t take them long to cross the field and reach you.

You’re bouncing a ball on your foot, and once you notice them, you wave with grandiosity. “Hello, numbskulls. Did you come closer so you can admire me better?”

Kaiser doesn’t even know where to begin with this statement, but Ness spares him the effort because without any hesitation, he says, “Yes.”

Snapping his head to stare at him with offense, Kaiser now has to wonder if Ness was the real maniac all along.

You seem to share similar sentiments because your eye twitches and remains stuck half open after. The ball rolls away when you fail to catch it. “What- huh? Huuuuh? You’re just gonna agree with me?”

“Yes. You’re an amazing player with exceptional abilities,” Ness says pleasantly. Candidly. “Not to mention how clever you are. You’re also really good at thinking on the spot. I don’t just mean on the field, but in general, too. Your wit is impressive.”

These compliments are way too upfront and honest. A chill goes down your spine and you gape at him, disturbed. Then your expression morphs into something more awkward — nonplussed, maybe, nervous in some manner — and you say, “I-I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I don’t like it.”

Probably realizing your usual poise is ebbing away, you grimace, cover your face with your forearm as if you are doing a bad job of shielding yourself from imaginary sunlight and pivot around before sprinting away from them at max speed while screaming something incoherent in terror.

“What?” Kaiser yells, gesturing at your fleeing figure. “What’s with that reaction?! No way? What? Over a few nice words? What the hell? What!”

As usual, Ness’s appearance is innocent enough, but there’s a certain glint in his eyes now, like he’s hungry for more power. “Kaiser… Kaiser, I… I did it!”

Kaiser considers making a getaway, but he already saw how unbecoming it is.

___

Oh I know you guysare sick of me...

My sheltered no life experiences outside of kicking a ball Kaiser agenda. With the way he acts I wouldnt be surprised if his mother didnt hold him after giving birth to him

[fairysluna]

unrequited.

Aegon was unable to keep his love for you as a secret, but he did not expect for you to shatter his heart into pieces after realizing you do not feel the same way.

MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader.

TAGS — angst, unrequited love, inspired by THAT scene from little women, hurt/no comfort, a bit of miscommunication, one sided love, a lot of crying, guilt, cursing, aegon was named heir. If something is missing, let me know!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE — i was sad, i was watching little women, and then i remembered that i haven't written angst in a very long time. It's short, but well, it is what it is. I'm trying to escape the writer's block so bear with me if this isn't perfect, hope you all like it!🤍

WORD COUNT — 1.6k

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤenglish is not my first language.

There was something in the way his eyes looked at you that should have warned you about what was going to happen. Maybe the way his company felt slightly different, or the way he purposely brushed his hand as he walked beside you along the shore of Dragonstone.

A peaceful silence reigned between you two, where only the sound of the sea and seagulls were heard. There was never a need to be talkative whenever you were with him, you two did not need words to express to one another, just a single glance at him and you would be able to read him as if he was a book. It had always been that way. Aegon had never attempted to hide how much he enjoyed your company; no matter how many duties and responsibilities his position might have, he would always find some time during the day to make you company. The mere sound of your cheerful laughter was enough for him to feel whole. Happy.

Your friendship with Aegon began unexpectedly; you were a Lady of a small house, bannermen of the Tyrells. Not even in a million years you would have thought you were going to be one of the heir's closest friends. But you were, and Aegon loved it. You were not like other maidens, you always saw beyond his royal title, beyond the power he would once hold. You saw him as Aegon, Egg as you would sometimes prefer to call him. He loved that you were a breeze of fresh air that would wake him up from his torment every time he felt too overwhelmed.

You were everything for him, an escape of the four wall prison that would often be disguised as a castle. You set him free.

Aegon, inevitably, fell for you in the most beautiful of ways; slowly and unexpectedly. One day he woke up and felt the urge to hold you in his arms each morning; he could not stand another minute without you by his side - it felt almost unnatural to be without your company. His heart found a reason to beat with your presence, his brain would often overshadow his thoughts with silly daydreams about you.

You, you, you. It's always you. It has always been you.

Now, as you were complaining about your Septa scolding you that same morning, Aegon was in awe, mesmerized by you doing such a mundane thing like talking. And, bewitched by the way your lips moved, he stopped his pace. Salty air filling his lungs as he encouraged himself to say what he has been dying to say to you.

You did not realize about it until you were a few steps further than him, and you turned around. He was just looking at you; his puppy, lilac eyes staring at your face almost without blinking. You chuckled nervously, confused about what was happening. You smiled awkwardly, feeling a bit too exposed all of the sudden.

“Is something wrong?” You asked, frowning.

He did not reply, but you saw it in his eyes.

Your smile slowly faded away once the realization hit you, and the atmosphere changed immediately.

“Aegon…” You mentioned his name so differently, it felt almost foreign due to the way it left your lips. It was a plea, you were begging him to not say the words that were about to be pronounced.

He took a step closer; the dreamy glow in his eyes was still there, as if he had not seen the look on your face yet.

“Please, don't,” you managed to say, breathlessly. Your heart was beating so fast that you felt tired. Exhausted, even. You desperately tried to stop it before it was too late.

But you failed.

The weight in your chest became heavier, almost unbearable. Your lower lip was shaking, your legs trembling. You were heartbroken because you knew what you would have to do. Shaking your head, you refused to let him speak, both of you interrupted your words as a desperate attempt to silence each other.

“You need to hear me-”

“-stop this, Aegon-”

“-there’s no use to keep hiding it-”

“-don’t do this-”

“-you know what I'm about to say-”

“-Aegon, please-”

“-I love you.”

The heat of the burning sun was not enough to vanish the coldness that suddenly grew between you two. You closed your eyes, defeated. The silence became painfully awkward, and in that moment Aegon knew the truth.

His heart shattered.

You lifted your head to meet his eyes; they were covered by a layer of tears that were reluctant to escape. He was trying so hard not to fall apart, almost shaking as he stood as stiff as a rock.

“I love you,” he repeated in a whisper, thinking you might have not heard it the first time. “Please… please say it back.”

“Aegon-”

“Please,” he pleaded. His voice was broken and weak, trembling as he choked on a sob. “Please, say it.”

“You cannot do this to me-”

“I have loved you since the first day,” he confessed. “I’ve been trying to deny my feelings, trying to convince myself that it was nothing more, but it is. I need you, I love you more than words could tell, and my heart cannot bear another day without you being mine.”

“Aegon, I don't- I can't-”

“I want you to be my queen, my life companion,” he continued, watching you as you kept shaking your head. “My love, I want everything with you. I want to rule this fucking kingdom with you by my side. Please…”

“Aegon, I'm not fit to rule-”

“Me neither, but we can be a great team, I- I know that-”

“I can't be a queen, I can't marry you,” you interrupted him, trying to make understand your point.

You hated the prohibitions of a title. You see how Aegon was trapped in an invisible cage without escape, and you did not want that for yourself. You wanted freedom, you wanted to travel, to cross the Narrow Sea and meet foreign lands. As a queen, you would be caged; and as a wife to a king, you would be forced to provide him with heirs you do not wish to have yet.

It was selfish, you thought, but it was the thing that would make you happy.

“Aegon, this would never work,” she murmured as she grabbed his hands. He took a sharp breath when he felt your touch. “We're too different, we do not wish for the same things.”

“I know you love me too…. I know you do,” he told you. Some part of himself knew that it was a desperate attempt to try and convince himself that his words were true. But, deep inside, he knew it was not the case; one single glance at you would tell him what he's too afraid to accept.

“You are my best friend, you are the person that I trust the most, you-”

“Because you love me!” he raised his voice.

“I don't, Aegon…” you stopped him before he could say more. His nostrils twitched once he felt the itch on his nose, his lips trembling. “I don't love you like that.”

There was another silence. It was torturous. Aegon pulled his hands away from you. You quickly wiped the rebel tear that fell down your cheek.

“I know you think I'm the one, but I'm not. We would never work, this would only make you miserable-”

“You're the one for me,” he murmured, his eyes lost in the ground.

“I'm not,” you said, trying to reach him, but he just took another step back. “You'll find someone who will love you, who truly deserves you-”

“Am I not worthy of your love?” He suddenly asked, your heart aching at his broken voice.

Gods, you were about to explode.

“You're much more than what I truly deserve, Aegon, you're way better than-”

“I want you, I don't want another. I love you, I could never love anyone else the way I love you!”

“But you will!” you raised your voice to match his. “You will love someone else, and you will forget about me.”

“I can't ever forget about you,” he muttered. He remained quiet for a while before he looked down at you, noticing your teary eyes; a part of him hated himself for making you cry. After a few seconds he said, “I figured you would love me too… After everything we've lived and felt together. I thought we were gonna be happy-”

“You will be happy, Aegon. You'll find a fine young maiden who will give your life a purpose, but that is not me. It cannot be me.”

“You were my purpose,” he murmured, his face covered in tears as his puppy eyes would not look at you.

He felt embarrassed for how broken he was. For how naive he had been to even dare to believe you could possibly love him back. He wondered how he could be so foolish.

“I wish I could be the woman you want, I wish I didn't have to say these things- Aegon!”

He walked away, not wanting to hear any other of your excuses. It hurted enough as it is, your words would only wound him even more.

You tried to stop him, to grab his arm, yelling his name, and try to make him understand you, but he just walked away leaving his footprint on the wet sand as you stood there.

Tears were streaming down your face as you watched him go, one of your hands pressed against your chest as if you were trying to take the pain away. It hurted you to see him so broken, especially when you know it was you the one who caused it.

You had just lost your best friend, and there was no returning point from that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤfollow @by-fairysluna for more updates!

[itsgameofthronesimagines]

Could I request a Cersei x f reader where the reader is Cersei’s secret lover but Jaime (Love him but needed a villain) found out and made up lies about reader so Cersei herself throws the reader to jail. When she’s finally freed after the allegations were proved wrong, reader is now cold hearted, avoiding Cersei who tries to talk to her. Go heavy on the angst. You can decide if it’s happy ending (at least as happy of an ending as you can get with Cersei) or not. Thank you! You don’t have to write it if you don’t want to

(Gif not mine but can I just say that I hate myself for loving how beautiful she is?)

Title: Lioness Roar

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Pairing: Cersei Lannister x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4,719

Summary: Cersei’s brothers could do whatever they wanted with little to no consequences all because of their gender. Now as the Queen, Cersei believes she can do more.

Warnings: vulgar language, daddy issues (guess who), homophobia, angst, mentioned wlw smut, and I will admit it does kind of read like yandere.

Author’s Note: God I love writing about Lannisters. They’re so complex (and I know I’ve said that before so sorry if you’re sick of hearing it but I’m not sorry for saying it) and I think this might be the first time I’m writing a Cersei x reader so this was exciting!

(I do not consent my works to be reposted/copied)

~~~~~~~~~

Cersei always believed that if she were born with a cock, her world would be a lot different, but for the best.

As a child, she drew pictures of herself on the back of the dragon, and as she got older, her father kept promising to marry her to the prince, so then she began drawing Rhaegar Targaryen in those same pictures.

Before she grew into her female qualities, she was able to dress as her twin brother and attend sword fighting lessons without anyone able to tell the difference. 

While Jaime had no interest in listening to his father about the importance of their history, their finances, and the running of the keep, Cersei listened intently. She knew that if she were Tywin’s firstborn son and heir, he’d be proud of all of her accomplishments, and this was just one of many ways she tried to gain his approval. 

She did all these things to prove that she can do anything her brothers did possibly even do more than Tyrion but Lord Tywin always stamped down her ambitions other than the one that involved her getting married to the prince. No matter how hard she tried, Cersei could never get her father to actually see her aside from what she already was.

One look and Lord Tywin would’ve seen his daughter holding a sword better than Jaime ever could and reciting old text better than Tyrion could ever pronounce. If Tywin could only see past her gender, Cersei would truly be his golden child.

Alas, she was nothing but a bargaining chip; a pawn he liked to move around the board. When her marriage proposal to Rhaegar fell through and all the Targaryens were killed off, Cersei was married to Robert Baratheon and she became his Queen Consort. She gave him three children, despite the two of them being unhappy from the start. Even if her children didn’t look like the King, she didn’t care. She did her duty to the realm, to her husband, and to her father, securing the legacy Tywin always wanted for his family. Cersei did her part and now she felt inclined to her own right of freedom to do whatever she wanted.

That freedom came in the form of Lady Y/n.

As a wedding gift, Lord Tywin sent Cersei the daughter of one of his bannermen to act as her handmaid and confidant. Y/n was possibly the only truly kind gesture Cersei’s father ever made toward her, but the new Queen was bitter from the beginning. She did not confide in other women. Cersei felt as though she was above gossiping and hand-sewing, even when she was a little girl. With her father’s praise and boasting of her being the most beautiful woman in all the Seven Kingdoms, Cersei even believed she was above all the ladies of the country, including Y/n. 

Y/n was a quiet young woman. Dutiful towards her Queen and tending to her every need without question, the handmaid was smart to never speak openly to Cersei. She kept her thoughts tight-knit in her mind and only replied to the Queen if Cersei spoke directly at her. Even where Y/n was from, she heard certain rumors about Cersei and how the Lady Lannister’s best friend, Melara Hetherspoon, mysteriously fell into a well and only Cersei lived to tell the tale. Y/n’s mother was secretly concerned when Tywin Lannister sent her daughter away to tend to Cersei, knowing that the Lioness of Casterly Rock was always troubled and strangely devoid of any emotion other than anger.

Even Y/n believed this, and in fear, she never spoke a word to Cersei unless spoken to so as not to draw attention to herself. Tending to Cersei was like awaiting with anticipation for a barrel of wildfire to ignite. All it took was one tiny flame.

However, once Cersei’s children were born, it appeared as though that flame was tameable. Y/n often tended to her Queen’s children more so than the wet nurses. Many wondered if the wet nurses were just lazy, but one maid, in particular, had the bravery to whisper about the Queen being behind this, how Cersei ordered the wet nurses to do their duty to feed her children except Myrcella but to leave all other care to Lady Y/n and herself.

If this rumor was to be taken seriously, no one knew why Cersei would do such a thing unless she full-heartedly trusted her handmaid. But this was Cersei Lannister of all people, and no one, not even King Robert, was allowed to be near the princess and princes without Cersei’s presence.

And yet, Y/n could be found with all three children, alone, holding them to her chest when they cried or laughing as she chased them around in the gardens. If they weren’t with Cersei or their teachers, the royal children were likely to be found with Lady Y/n, who they lovingly nicknamed their aunt once they began to speak. Perhaps the children truly thought Y/n was part of their family and if so, Cersei had allowed it to appear that way.

The truth is Cersei grew to care for one other person besides her children and Jaime, but kept that close to her heart and locked it away, not even Y/n could reach it. At first, Cersei was disgusted with her thoughts and her feelings. There was a time in her inner turmoil when she would lash out at her handmaid even though Y/n did nothing wrong. Despite all this, Cersei blamed her for everything and was even tempted to send her away. But young Myrcella, barely able to write her own name, cried one night when Y/n was not there to tuck her into bed and told her mother how much she loved Y/n. Feeling defeated, Cersei never exiled Y/n and refused to look at the other woman for many months.

Cersei’s demons came to a head when she heard Jaime tell yet another story about Tyrion finding another whore to bed with... but instead of her usual disgust, another thought struck her. There was a time when Cersei could act like a boy all she wanted without anyone batting an eye. She could do whatever she wanted and even though she was now Queen, Cersei had yet to take full advantage of that. As long she remained married to the King and gave him children, her father could not tell her what to do and her husband cared very little about what she did as long as Cersei kept him out of it. Hearing Jaime’s story of Tyrion’s new woman, Cersei thought if her dear little brother could take any common whore to bed without scandal, why couldn’t she?

Lady Y/n was already her handmaid. It was already the perfect disguise. If Tyrion could do it and hide his lover as a servant girl, so could Cersei. If Robert could openly bring whatever woman he wanted into his bed, so could his wife.

Of course, Cersei could order Y/n to kiss her and bed her if she liked, but she was a clever woman and felt the excitement of playing the long game of convincing Y/n to love her. So as not to scare her, Cersei started off slowly, starting by subtly nodding her thanks to Y/n when she helped her dress and undress because yes, Cersei has never once thanked anyone before. When Y/n didn’t appear put off by this, Cersei slowly began to openly thank her, then slowly progressed to subtly touching her arm or moving Y/n’s hair off her shoulder. 

This slow progression is successful in many ways. Y/n doesn’t notice how much Cersei changed because Cersei had slowly done so without any red flags rising. Before Y/n could remember the story of Melara Hetherspoon, Cersei had her wrapped around her finger, practically brainwashing her handmaid into believing that she had always been a kind and loving queen towards her loyal subjects. Cersei’s patience paid off when Y/n began to openly talk to her about her hopes and dreams, even her opinions, without ever flinching of fear or repeal.

And, in a way, her patience also brought Cersei to love Y/n even more than just for lust. Listening to Y/n talk made Cersei wonder why she had suppressed the young woman from doing so in all the years she’s known her. Everything sounded exciting when Y/n spoke, her voice forcing Cersei to listen to every syllable. 

That is... until eligible suitors came searching for Y/n’s hand in marriage. When Y/n talked about her suitors, Cersei would immediately order her to speak of something else. She couldn’t bear to hear about the men trying to take her new interest away from her. She wouldn’t allow her brothers to steal a toy from her as children, why would this be any different?

It was the talk of the decade. Throughout King’s Landing, people whispered about how Lady Y/n must be cursed. Ever since her father announced opening a proposal for her, many of Y/n’s suitors have mysteriously disappeared or been found dead in their beds, sometimes even before they could meet her. Over time, several men have gone to King’s Landing in hopes of winning Y/n’s hand. None have returned to their homes and some houses were on the brink of extinction because of this curse.

It didn’t take long before men stopped asking for Y/n’s hand in marriage, and Cersei had never been happier to have her handmaid remain at her side.

By the time Jon Arryn mysteriously died, Y/n was more than just a confidant or friend. She became Cersei’s secret lover, and Cersei didn’t feel any shame or disgust the first time she kissed her. While making plans for the royal family to travel to Winterfell, Y/n shyly and breathlessly confessed her love for Cersei. Before she could escape the Queen’s chambers in her shame, Cersei roughly held Y/n’s face in her hands as she fervently kissed her. The victory going on in Cersei’s mind was all too sweet, hastily taking Y/n to her bed then and there, finally claiming her as no one but the Queen’s.

Cersei had begun to feel like a god with what she had taken as her own. With Y/n secretly under one arm and Jaime under the other, she began to believe and reminisce about the young girl she once was, a Lady Lannister who took no prisoners and always got whatever she wanted. As Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, Cersei felt as though she held the world in her hands and was believed to be untouchable.

This god complex would continue to fester and grow as several events play out. While in Winterfell, Young Bran Stark mysteriously fell out of a window. When the royal family left the North, they brought Ned Stark and his two daughters with him as the new Hand of the King. When Cersei arrived back in King’s Landing, Y/n was waiting for her in her chambers with open arms and a hot bath. Cersei had never felt such power secured tightly in her fist before.

That is until it slipped ever so slightly out of her grasp and Cersei lashed out and nearly lost her mind. Under Lord Stark’s orders, his wife Catelyn took Tyrion as her prisoner and this prompted Jaime to attack the Hand of the King before escaping King’s Landing. Cersei could feel her power and influence slipping when, even as Ned Stark admitted to her accusations, Robert still refused to punish his old friend. 

Madness slipped through, for a split second, as Cersei snapped, “I took you for a king!”

“Hold your tongue.”

“He’s attacked one of my brothers and abducted the other. I should wear the armor, and you the gown.”

King Robert spun around and hit her before Cersei could say more. She proudly claimed she would wear this mark on her face like a badge of honor before swiftly leaving the room. She retreated to her chambers to lick her wounds and fester in her rage. When Y/n was summoned, she was horrified by the angry bruise on Cersei’s face and tended to it immediately. Unaware of what had happened, Y/n barely even blinked when Cersei ordered her to stay with her the whole night.

War began to brew after that and Cersei received word of Tywin and Jaime raising an army to bring back Tyrion. Sensing it was time to make her move, she had her cousin Lancel bring an armload of wine for Robert when he fled to the Kingswood to hunt. Of course, everyone knows that wine and hunting don’t mix, and when Robert returned to Cersei, his guts were spilling out of him. It wasn’t long before Joffrey was sitting on the Iron Throne after that, his mother sitting beside him.

Cersei had Ned Stark arrested and his daughters confined to the Red Keep. With her son as king, she now had all the power with no one to tell her otherwise. She still felt her self-control slip, however, when she heard of Jaime’s capture and then Tyrion returned to King’s Landing as Tywin’s Acting Hand of the King. When she heard the news of her twin brother, Cersei retreated back to her chambers and once again, kept Y/n in her bed all night long. Y/n was none the wiser, believing Cersei was only grieving her brother’s capture by taking her anger out on her lover. This anger got even worse when Myrcella was sent away to Dorne.

When Jaime returned, Cersei was still an angry woman and nothing was ever the same again. Cersei retreated from Jaime’s embrace whenever he reached out to her. At first, he thought it was because of his missing hand, but then Cersei gifted him a golden prosthetic as a replacement. When she didn’t appear disgusted by him, Jaime kept a watchful eye on his sister.

He suspected Cersei had another lover but failed to find any man entering his sister’s chambers, no matter the time of day. He did, however, always noticed Y/n freely walking around wherever she wanted. Even when Cersei was not around, Lady Y/n would enter her room and the guards standing outside wouldn’t even question her. Sometimes, Jaime even witnessed Y/n ordering the guards around as if she were speaking on the Queen’s behalf, and they listened to her. Jaime’s affronted thoughts came to a halt when one day, he noticed Y/n out in the gardens with Tommen, the young prince indulging the lady with a book he read out loud. Cersei was nowhere in sight.

Jaime was not the smartest Lannister, but he knew Cersei better than anyone, and he knew that his sister would not trust their her children with anyone unless she had complete faith in them.

He confronted his sister that night when he knew that Y/n was sent away after helping Cersei undress. With the Queen now alone, Jaime snuck in and didn’t hesitate to speak his mind, “You love her.”

Cersei froze, her back turned to him, refusing to say a word or even look back to face him. Jaime scoffs because that was enough of a confirmation for him. Cersei was never one to hold back her tongue; this would have been no exception if it wasn’t true. The emotions that began to build within Jaime were rage and disgust. He pushed a boy out of a window for Cersei. He kept their affair a secret for Cersei. He killed his cousin for Cersei. He even lost his hand when trying to get back to Cersei. How is it that he went through all that trouble the gods have cursed him with for Cersei, and she had already moved on and fallen in love with another? How could he live with this knowing that Cersei had pushed him aside for none other than a woman?

“As hateful as you are... you love her,” he seethed between his teeth, “All those years you made me believe you kept her around to keep all eyes away from us... when really you just wanted us both. You have always been a selfish woman.”

A wry smile curls over his lips, the brewing anger slowly turning malicious, “But I wonder how selfish? Or are you just too blind by love to see it?”

Cersei turned to face him, her expression sour and voice dripping with venom, “See what?”

“That she has fooled you,” Jaime lets the words spill out of his mouth like water, fluid and graceful, even he believed the deceit he spoke, “Lady Y/n’s father may be our father’s bannermen, but she is no ally to us. I intercepted a raven before my escape, one that was addressed to Robb Stark. It was sealed with your sigil but not your handwriting, so I knew it wasn’t yours. However, seldom few have access to your seal and your desk, so one could only wonder who had the means of contacting the King of the North bearing your mark?” 

Cersei stood still, eyes locked onto Jaime’s as her expression slowly twists and turns corrupt with barely restrained rage and madness in between the flicker of the candle flame. For a moment, a brief moment... Jaime thought that rage was directed at him.

~~~~~~~~~

Y/n was roughly woken by a few of the Queen’s personal guards, binding her and muffling her screams with a rag. Tediously, they bring her all the way down into the dungeon before throwing her into the deepest, darkest cell. With her bonds and gag loose, Y/n finally has a moment to yell and plead, her hands gripping onto the iron bars for dear life as she begged for someone to help her.

Her pleas stop, however, when from the shadow emerges Cersei, regal as always, dressed in her usual red and gold fabrics without the help of her usual handmaid, now trapped behind bars. The moment Y/n caught the light on Cersei’s face, she knew who to place blame for her arrest.

“Why are you doing this?! I deserve an explanation!”

“You’re a traitor,” Cersei hissed even with a sly smile on her beautiful face, “You betrayed my son, your king. And worse of all, you betrayed me. Did you truly think I wouldn’t find out about your secret little messages to the King in the North? Were you praying that Jaime would never return so that he wouldn’t be able to inform me of your treachery?”

Y/n was initially shocked by these accusations before turning to defend her honor, “Surely he’s mistaken! Your brother has been away from home for far too long. His mind might be sick from being Robb Stark’s prisoner all this time. Why would you believe Ser Jaime over me?”

The question dies in her throat, her face crumbling into fearful realization as Cersei continued to stand still, as quiet as a cat while smiling down at her mouse. Y/n’s voices drop down into a whisper as she tries to hold back her own emotions, “... Unless it’s true. The rumors have all been true. You and your brother...”

Y/n’s fear slowly reverts to anger as her thoughts spill openly from her lips, “I refused to believe the whispers. I was loyal to you from the very beginning. I stuck by your side through everything and yet-- How could you?” She finally snapped, voice rising once again as her grip tightens around her bars, “I sacrificed everything for you! I gave you all I had and it still wasn’t enough, wasn’t it? I loved you... with all my heart, but not even love can cure you from this madness.”

Cersei’s eyes bore into Y/n’s own, the two women standing in the silence of the dark, cold dungeon. The Queen doesn’t acknowledge her actions for not even she knew why she quickly decided to imprison her former lover. She herself felt disgusted. Cersei had been able to round up each of King Robert’s bastard children and slaughter them for the sake of Joffrey’s legitimacy, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to have Y/n executed even though the woman was accused of betraying Joffrey. Cersei once believed she would do anything for the sake of her children, and now she felt disgusted knowing that she couldn’t even kill a woman to uphold that silent promise.

Cersei held her chin high, her voice was as cold as the day she first met Lady Y/n, “I love my brother. I will only ever love my brother. How could I ever love someone as lowly as a servant girl?”

~~~~~~~~~

It didn’t take long before Tywin noticed his daughter had a new handmaid and not one who was trusted enough to tend to Tommen when Cersei wasn’t around. Without questioning the Queen, Lord Tywin conducted an investigation and quickly discovered Y/n in the dungeons. After briefly talking to her and investigating Jaime’s accusations, Tywin was able to concur that Y/n was innocent of such treasonous actions and set her free. When Cersei heard of this, she was enraged and immediately went to her father with demands of executing her former confidant. When Tywin brought his evidence to her attention, Cersei refused to believe it, turning a blind eye and cursing her father’s name. Even in disbelief, Cersei couldn’t help but internally feel the ache and anger in her heart. Deep down, she knew Y/n had done nothing wrong, yet she listened to Jaime anyway. The last nail was wedged into her coffin when Tommen asked Cersei where his Aunt Y/n had gone. Only then could she truly admit she made a mistake.

But it was too late. With Y/n no longer being Cersei’s handmaid, the lady avoided the Queen like the plague. Y/n was no longer the woman everyone once knew to be kind and compassionate. She was cold and calculating to everyone, including Cersei, if the two women ever had a brief encounter in Joffrey’s court.

Y/n couldn’t even find it within herself to feel sympathy towards Cersei when Joffrey was murdered at his own wedding. Long after Tommen was crowned King, Y/n continued to avoid Cersei and never once shed a tear for the boy she once loved as her own. As long as one bore the face of Cersei or sported any sort of Lannister trait, Y/n avoided them at all costs and even felt disgusted if she had to share a room with them. A moment of opportunity arrived for her to be rid of this Hell when the High Sparrow became a big influence on King Tommen and his people. Cersei had the High Sparrow annointed as High Septon with the belief that he would work under her rule, and Y/n watched this unfold from a distance until finally, she made her own calculated move.

In time, Loras Tyrell, Queen Margaery, and even Cersei had been thrown into various cells of the Great Sept when none of them confessed to the sins they were accused of. Cersei had felt the cold breath of karma ghost down her neck the moment her cousin Lancel entered the room to stand beside the High Sparrow. Weeks dragged on and Cersei was miserable in her cell, hair matted and body covered in filth, tongue dry from her thirst. The cell door opened one miserable morning and Cersei curled in on herself instinctively, ready to refuse the water when offered in exchange for a confession... but the septa never said a word. Slowly, Cersei looked up from her arms and found Lady Y/n standing there instead of a septa, dressed in travelling clothes and holding a small pouch of water in hand, devoid of emotion as she looked down on the former Queen she served.

Cersei didn’t look pleased or impressed, turning her away to lean against the cold wall of her cell, “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? The one thing you have always strived for; craved for... You have always wanted to see me suffer.”

“I don’t know if there is anything I can say or do to convince you otherwise,” Y/n scoffed while setting down the pouch of water, “I gave my life to you, yet you still believe I betrayed you somehow in some shape or form. Even when I was proven innocent, you despised me. Why?”

Cersei blinked slowly while staring off into space, trying to swallow her spit to relieve her thirst, “You were just some lowly reminder of a time when I was unfaithful.”

“To who? King Robert? Everyone knows you despised him. That is no secret. Everyone knows that you would have done anything to hurt him. But to hurt Jaime... I think most can suspect that at this point, you would have done anything to keep him at your side. You can’t fool anyone, Your Grace. Not anymore.”

“I have fooled no one.”

“No one but me. You had me fooled the moment you kissed me,” Y/n’s voice broke, ever so slightly, cracking her mask, “You had me believe what we had was love. And yet you threw it all away the moment you decided to believe whatever you wanted to hear.”

“I didn’t want you to betray me.”

“And I never did. But you didn’t exactly care, did you? Instead of just asking me, you threw me in a cell and left me to rot. Because it was Ser Jaime’s word against mine.”

“Why are you really here?” Cersei rasped, watching her finger as she absently traced shapes into her cell wall.

Y/n composed herself, hardening her heart again and quickly blinking away the tears before they could be shed. She straightens up her vest as she confidentally spoke, “I came to say goodbye and to pray we never see each other again. What happens to you is no longer my concern. King Tommen has granted me leave from your service and is sending me home today. My only wish... my only wish is that we part with our truths laid out to one another... the way it always should have been.”

Cersei finally turns to look up at the woman standing over her, feigned smile spreading over her filthy face, “What truths, pray tell?”

“The truth is you were right, Queen Regent. I did betray you,” Y/n carefully watched as Cersei’s face twisted with several emotions before continuing, “I betrayed you to the High Sparrow. I confessed my sins to him and thus revealed yours. I told him everything, from our affair to yours and Ser Jaime’s. It wasn’t your cousin who turned you in. It was me.”

For years, Y/n has watched Cersei play the game with eager eyes and thin smiles and it wasn’t until recently did Y/n want to see the smug smile wiped from her former Queen’s pretty face. In her dreams, Y/n could imagine this and feel satisfaction bloom in her stomach, fulfilling her without food or water and lasting her till she is old in age. Now, finally succeeding in making Cersei lose at her own game, Y/n doesn’t feel that satisfaction she desired. All she could feel was guilt and shame.

Cersei’s face crumbled until it was laid bare for Y/n to read her as a childrens’ book, the Lady Lannister’s voice becoming accusatory, “So I was right. All you’ve ever wanted was to see my downfall.”

Y/n felt as though she had been slapped in the face, hating herself even as the words fell out, “No... never. Not when I loved you.”

Cersei looked back up when she heard Y/n kneeling down to her height, meeting her shining eyes as her former handmaid whispered as though she spoke a secret, “You might not see it as I do, but if I were to recall... you were the one who betrayed me first. I only returned the favor. Farewell... my lioness. I will pray for the next whore you decide to take to bed.”

The way Cersei’s face fell only made Y/n feel worse as she stood, turning to leave. The former handmaid wanted this woman to beg for her life as she once did in her own cold cell. She wanted Cersei to squeal and cry and feel her heart break as she once did, betrayed by the woman she loved. In a last ditched effort, Y/n kicked her pouch of water close to the cell door, far from Cersei if she even tried to reach it.

“No-- wait, Y/n, please-!”

Y/n hastily made her exit, slamming the cell door behind her to shut out Cersei’s pleas. As she walked down the hall, Y/n could feel a tear slip past her detection... as well as a smile of freedom.

~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hi I’m back on my bs again. It’s been a busy couple of weeks and now that I’m caught up on House of the Dragon and no longer working nights, I feel fueled to write again. Please support and leave a request in the ask box!

[starrclown]

I saw a post by @nightmarebunnyking talking about the Wukong can't read headcannon and I wanna add my two cents.

I dont like it. Big shocker.

But I don't like it because of he's my favorite or something like that. I just don't think it makes sense for him.

I think Lmk is trying to make it seem like Wukong can't spell or read. The one scene I remember that makes It seem like this is where Wukong and Macaque are arguing and Wukong spells dead like "ded."

For Wukong I don't think that makes sense. He's called The Intelligent Stone Monkey for a reason.

Wouldn't it make sense that Macaque doesn't know how to write and read in modern Chinese? This isn't even to call Macaque stupid or something, think about it. He's been dead for hundreds of years until he was brought back.

He out of all characters shouldn't know how to read or write because he wasn't around for the shift. Wukong was.

Also I can name so many reasons or explanations of why he can read.

Didn't he make his own game? That implies that he not only understands how to read and write, he also knows code.

He has emails from his lawyer. He has to be able to work a Gmail account.

If you didn't know in the book, the baby monkies can talk like a normal person. I fully believe that Wukong would learn modern language to teach them because he would have to be able to communicate with them in a modern way if something happens.

What I think would be more realistic is that Wukong struggles with modern language. Like he can still read and write but maybe some words confuse him or he has a hard time pronouncing them.

Hell you could twist that into a moment with any character.

Of the top of my head, maybe it bothers Wukong that he can't speak fluently. Maybe he thinks he's stupid. He may have trouble communicating to people like Redson or Mei or Pigsy because he gets words wrong and it's hard to interpret what he means.

I could make that into a sweet bonding moment between Mk and Wukong. Mk sees It bothers Wukong because he can't speak properly to the others. He could sit down and help Wukong and they could have their bonding.

This could apply to and Wukong duo.

You like Tang and Wukong as a duo? Tang helps Wukong read a book that has words he struggles with. Boom. Bonding moment.

Mei and Wukong your thing? Mei teaches Wukong modern kid slang so he can teach them to the baby monkies. Boom.

Hell this can go to shipping.

If your a big ShadowPeach shipper then Wukong teaching Macaque how the language works now. The two of them could sit down, read, and learn new words together.

I hope I articulated this well. I just saw their post and wanted to get my point across.

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[one-flower-one-sword]

"Gege, don't panic just yet. I'll repeat those words to you. Give them a listen."

"...Alright," Xie Lian said.

Hua Cheng's memory was exceptional, and he clearly and precisely repeated the words as soon as they left the area where the corpse-eating rats had gathered. Xie Lian stared intently at his lips as he pronounced a series of moderately paced and somewhat bizarre-sounding phrases. The words had a strange, ancient rhythm to them. Hearing them spoken with such steady control through Hua Cheng's lips made the notes deep, beautiful, and pleasing to the ears.

TGCF Volume 5, page 343

Mu Qing rolled all the silk veils into a ball and tossed them to the side, his veins popping slightly. "How would I know? Because all your clothes, accessories, and daily living needs were my responsibility back then. I washed for you, I mended for you - and every item in your wardrobe was unique. These statues are too detailed - everything is there, exactly the same, completely! When I saw those clothes, of course I knew which face they would have!"

TGCF Volume 6, page 50

For he had remembered something else: the tale of the red-clad ghost who set hundreds of civil and martial temples ablaze. Hua Cheng became famous overnight when he defeated thirty-three heavenly officials and obliterated every single one of their temples and shrines across the entirety of the Mortal Realm.

Xie Lian had long forgotten how many heavenly officials had fought him over that blessed land; their titles, their faces, and even the words they said were lost to him. He could only vaguely recall that there were about thirty of them.

TGCF Volume 8, page 24

Was thinking about Hua Cheng's memory while rereading these scenes and how he appears to basically have perfect recall. Yes, we know he can "record" things with his butterflies, but he only seems to be doing so during strategic moments. If he had recorded what the corpse-eating rats were saying, there would have been no need for him to repeat their words himself, but he does. And they were words in a language he could read but not understand when spoken, and he only heard them spoken once and when there was no reason for him to memorize them. And yet he can recall them perfectly.

Xie Lian wonders if the extreme accuracy of the statues' details is because the sculptor's mind was so filled with images of him and only him, and while that's not wrong, I do think it's remarkable that Hua Cheng was able to remember all those intricate details. After all, they're from a time where he mostly was only able to watch over Xie Lian from afar, and even when they were close for once, it was usually during very stressful circumstances. Yet years later, he can still recreate it all perfectly, to a point that, according to Xie Lian, not even Xianle's most renowned sculptors were able to.

Same with the thirty-three heavenly officials - Hua Cheng was a ghost fire during that time and again it were very stressful circumstances where he was actively trying to defend Xie Lian with what little power he had. And yet, even years later, even after he was almost dispersed as Wu Ming and out of his mind, he can apparently recall every single one of their faces and knows exactly who was there. It's a stark contrast to how Xie Lian has no idea anymore even how many there were, much less their names and faces.

Of course, at this point it's been several hundred years, so that's not surprising. Still, there are many moments like these where Xie Lian is confused and taken aback by Hua Cheng's strong reaction to things he himself can barely remember and often doesn't even really think about anymore. That's a multi-layered issue of course - for one thing, trauma messes with memory, and Xie Lian himself has stated things like that he'd rather remember the delicious meat bun he ate the day before than how he'd been trampled to death years ago. For another, Hua Cheng has reason to cling to those memories Xie Lian would rather forget because of his immense anger on Xie Lian's behalf.

This doesn't explain moments like with the corpse-eating rats though, since like previously stated there was no reason for Hua Cheng to actively try and memorize what they were saying. It can thus be extrapolated from these examples that he always remembers everything this precisely, whether he wants to or not, even if he only heard or saw it once, and no matter how much time has passed since then.

On the one hand, this would evidently serve him very well in cases like his worship of Xie Lian or his goals in aiding and protecting him. On the other, this would mean that every moment of suffering he went through - or that Xie Lian went through, which to Hua Cheng is the worst kind of suffering - will forever be present in his mind in perfect detail. To him, it will always be as if it happened just yesterday. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't forget, because there's no "off setting" to his perfect memory, it's always "on" and can't be overwritten.

I think this might also be a small but not insignificant part of what makes up Hua Cheng's palpable intensity and sharpness, and also contributes to the strong emotions he surpresses beneath his controlled exterior.