#I have a friend who has it and i dony think i have... The same intensity as hers? But i know ive always struggled to spell

[mrfoox]

Uh. Gonna be honest. Idk how tf no one thought I could have dyslexia growing up. The older I get the more I wonder if I do...

[xo-zozo]

my ranking of tig characters+explanations

jameson hawthorne. he’s just pookie (but guess what… i have more reasons than just that for liking him 😨) so first of all, he’s hilarious… like that has to count for something, he’s also hot so yk but besides that, he cares so much for the people that he loves and he’s just sndhdjhdhd anyway yeah. he’s like anything anyone could want and he’s a consent king (unlike some people) and like ik hes had his moments of treating avery like a game but yk if we can say grayson is the way he is because of emily and stuff i think we can also say that for jameson (also the fact that he was like bullied by his grandpa…) and yet he still manages to be night to people

avery grambs. she’s a really good fem mc and i think that jlb did a really good job of making her someone that people can relate to and making her normal. she’s smart and she’s kinda just trying her best and i love that for her

xander hawthorne. buddy is so funny like he’s also who i feel like i would be the most likely to be friends with/date irl. like the book BOUQUET?? he’s super nice and he likes scones AND he’s smart what nots to like

gigi grayson. me and her are literally the same person tbh like i actually love her so much and i feel like we would be really good friends irl because she’s such a cutie patootie

max liu. she also reminds me of myself… like the strict parents, the personality and the inability to curse is so me tbh. ik people find her annoying but i like her so wtv

libby grambs. i think everyone loves her… the way that she’s managed to stay so positive when she’s been through so much is like incredible to be tbh and she can bake so

nash hawthorne. he’s really great and all but like we don’t get to see much of him but i still love him fr

savannah grayson. she’s a baddie and i love her but again we just haven’t seen enough of her for me to like LOVEEE her if you know what i mean

rebeca laughlin. she’s nice and stuff but like at the same time sometimes she was a little bit annoying and made me mad… like the way she was always clinging to thea annoyed by yk 😭😭

thea calligaris. never liked her that much?? like she was better at the end but she was so mean to avery for like no reason and it annoyed me

grayson hawthorne. VERY strong feelings on him as most of you know but my main points are that he’s dull and people only like him because “he’s pookie” and blonde so it’s like he was so overhyped to be a gentleman and a “golden retriever” that when i actually read the book and he only made like five appearances a book to be mean to avery and then kiss her on live tv (when there were many other ways to make her shut up btw) and then yeah he was also just so caught up on emily and every time he said “evie” it made me wanna throw up. and then um also when he acted like he was better than avery because he grew up rich was 🤔🤔 and um the way he was granddaddy’s favorite child and still managed to like make that about how horrible his life is 😭😭 and yeah i would be upset too if my inheritance was taken by some random girl but GOD DANG. you don’t just going around accusing people like that

eve blake. BRUH. NO ONE LIKES HER I DONY EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN

anyway this took forever don’t cancel me bye 😻

[allwaswell16]

[4 pics, 4 quotes, 4 iconic 1D fics]

Iconic Fics by...

- Layne Faire -

1.

Zayn hesitated just long enough to send the butterflies in Liam’s stomach into a frenzy, then nodded and turned away. He picked up his things, plucked his keys from a bowl on a side table, and opened the door. Quinn looked up at the sound and stood up quickly to follow. Liam grabbed his collar.

“Oh no you don’t, pal. You’re staying with me.”

“Thanks again, Li. I’ll call when I get in.”

“Please.”

The door closed softly behind him, followed by the sound of a car engine turning over. The crunch of tires on gravel slowly faded away, leaving Liam in silence, alone in the house of a man he wasn’t sure he knew anymore, if he’d ever truly known him at all.

2.

“Zayn, you know? He’s so far out of my league, that I figured if I lucked into that, then… well, I’d go with it and damn the consequences.”

“Wait! No! Fuck that, Liam!” Harry’s sudden outburst had Liam staring at him in shock. “Zayn is not out of your league! Who the fuck ever gave you that idea? You’re kind, caring, compassionate, and loyal to a fault.”

“Harry - you’ve just described a labrador retriever.”

3.

“Hey, Louis, it’s Harry... Styles... uhm, Zayn’s friend. And Niall’s, I s’pose. That’s why I’m calling. Niall said you might have a room to rent in your flat and that it’s available now? I need something kind of immediately, not too big, not too expensive. Niall said it could be what I’m looking for. So, uhm, if you’d, I don’t know, maybe give me a call back and let me know if it’s still available and how soon I can come by to give it a look and discuss things with you, that’d be great. I can pay the rent upfront, maybe buy some groceries. I cook, too, if that helps. I dunno. Just...  uhm… yeah, give me a call back.”

Louis played the message again, then a third time. He saved the number in his phone, with a simple H to mark the contact, then played the message one more time. Disbelief gave way to cautious elation. He texted a quick reply to Harry that he’d call once he got home, then typed out a swift message to Niall.

Bless you, ya Irish cunt. I’ll change nappies on your firstborn for a month.

4.

Zayn looked up. “I don’t think so. I might be teaching him dance, but it doesn’t negate how I feel about what he does.”

“Saving people’s lives and homes? Of course. Allah forbid he be so selfless.”

“Don’t be an arse.” Zayn settled back in his chair. “He beats people up for fun.”

“That’s a little simplistic, don’t you think?” Doni argued. “He fights in sanctioned boxing matches, under strict guidelines established by the boxing commission. He’s not street brawling after a few pints at the local. That’s hardly the same thing.”

- answers below -

1. Live a Thousand Lifetimes 

It’s 2025.

After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour.

With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

2. Untamed Hearts

It could have been the heat of the summer sun; it might have been the silvered sheen of an early harvest moon. If he dug deep enough, Liam could find every reason ever needed to explain away what happened. In the end, though, it all came down to two meddling friends, a touch of Prince, a bit of Keats, and the moon over the ocean. Its a recipe for disaster. Or love. Probably love.

3. Take Your Time

When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. Unbeknownst to Harry, Louis has been infatuated for years. Over the objections of their friends, who know the truth, Harry accepts. Can Louis survive Harry moving into his home…and closer to his heart? Will Harry see what's right in front of him?

4. Shadow Dancing

As a small child, Liam Payne dreamed of being a firefighter. He took up boxing to defend himself from school bullies, but never lost sight of his dream. 15 years later, Liam is set to be the youngest brigade watch commander in his district, and his recent boxing win puts him in line for the British national title - if he can learn to get out of his own way.

Zayn took his first dance lesson at 5, after watching his sister's tap class. At 18, when an injury derails Zayn's dream of dancing professionally, he sets it aside to attend university, but the lure of dancing proves too great to ignore. He becomes an instructor, and eventually, the owner of a small dance studio, where he encourages other dancers to chase their dreams.

When their worlds collide in a cacophony of misunderstandings, Zayn, confronted with his own biases, realizes there’s more to Liam than meets the eye, and offers to help him prepare for his upcoming fight.

While Liam learns to dance, Zayn learns the art of compromise, and along the way, they find each other.

And when tragedy strikes, Liam finds that Zayn’s love will help him face the shadows of his past, and give him the courage to believe in himself and his dreams for the future.

[sayshiny]

Shadows and Rebirth

Over the last few days I've had a name and it's variation pop up in unconnected ways. I've had memories of my ex come up in unexpected ways. Images of blooming flowers. I don't believe in coincidences. When something so seemingly random comes up more than once, I start paying attention.

Especially this week.

What you need to know is I'm seeing all of these paths converging onto one topic: Healing after heartbreak.

"Adonis was the deity of plants and rebirth. He is known as a god who was for ever youthful, the one who would live and die only to be reborn again."

Yesterday I watched The Wedding Planner (JLo and Matthew Mchaughneheyheblahblah) for probably the 30th time. It's a comfort movie that I haven't seen in a handful of years. I haven't seen it since before I left my ex in 2020. There's a scene where JLo and MM are walking through a statue garden and Adonis is brought up (the first instance). I forgot about the later scene where JLO is drunk on the couch crying to MM because they had just ran into her ex in the flower mart along with his pregnant wife, the woman he cheated on her with right before they got married. My ex cheated on me and is now married and (i think) expecting a baby. We can all make small connections like that, no problem. But then...

A part of my job is monitoring licenses for our drivers. My boss told me someone with the last name Donis got a DUI and we needed to revoke his use of company vehicles. My ex, E, got a DUI when we were together and it was a dark cloud that hung over us both. I did all the driving, E did most of the drinking. Especially since he lived 3 hours away from me in Greensboro. Every other weekend for 2 years I drove 3 hours to GBO to spend time with him. Usually it was spent with him drinking and me crying. Shadows followed me during that entire relationship. I haven't been back to GBO since I left him (the morning I found out he cheated) and vowed I would never return... but...

"One thing for sure about Sting is nothing's for sure."

Since childhood, my favorite wrestler has been Sting. Outside of him being a great wrestler, he's a good man, and I've learned a lot from his story. He went through pain, addiction, and depression. He was so affected that his usual surfer Sting style turned into Crow Sting. He taught me that joy and pain are two sides to the same coin. Both exist and one can lead to another no matter how you flip it. I made another vow this year that I would be present for his retirement match no matter how far I had to travel. In 6 days he will be in the ring one last time. In 6 days my favorite wrestler is having his retirement match in Greensboro. In 6 days I'll be spending time with the friends that held me when I cried over E and the Pisces that has watered my wilted vines. In 6 days I'll be going back to the scene of the crime, the city of my heartbreak, the source of my trauma, the place the shadows call home. Of all the cities in all the world.

But I will be there with the friends that held me, with the Pisces that watered me, watching the wrestler that taught me.

What all of these names and images and stories are telling me is that healing from heartbreak is coming. Not the beginning of it, but the completion of it. It's telling me that God has laid a direct, very poetic hand on my heart. It's telling me that justice will be done. The bell is going to ring, the hands will raise, the crowd will cheer, the laces will untie, and the boots will be left where the fight with the shadows ended.

“When a man’s heart is full of deceit, it burns up, dies, and a dark shadow falls over his soul.”

This haunting line is pure Sting, encapsulating the darkness of his “Crow” persona. It’s a poetic, almost Shakespearean reflection on the consequences of betrayal and the inner turmoil it causes. Fans love this quote because it paints a vivid picture of a fallen hero’s journey through the shadows. It’s a reminder that wrestling isn’t just about physical battles; it’s about the emotional and psychological warfare that takes place both in and out of the ring.

[elizavetbutterfly]

My sister and Lucky (Rus) Всем привет! Это арт Дон и её сестры и её питомца Лаки. Вы спросите: о какой сестре идет речь? Я отвечу вам: речь идет о её второй личности, Дони. Я немного расскажу вам о Дони и Лаки. Про Дони, на старых артах я неоднократно писала, что она является второй личностью Дон. Но самое интересное заключается в том, что Дони не просто её вторая личность, но и воображаемая сестра близнец. Ещё в детстве, Дон мечта о родной сестре и хотела чтобы она появилась. Но так как ей пришлось долго ждать, пока она придет, Дон просто придумал себе близнеца, который выглядел точно так же, как она. Единственные отличия это оранжевые глаза с вертикальными зрачками и наличие когтей. Такие отличия были не случайны. Дон редко видела сво��го отца в его звериной форме, когда у него появлялись те самые оранжевые глаза. До того, как познакомится с Сэм и Роуз, Дон часто играла с воображаемой сестрой. В какой-то момент жизни (а именно в детстве) получилась так, что Дони стала её второй личность. Как это произошло неизвестно, но её мама через какое-то время смогла определить, что у Дон раздвоение личности. Единственные кто знает о Дони, как о второй личности и воображаемой сестре это её мама, Сэм, Роуз и Скай. Сама Дони считает, что она настоящая и не понимает почему она делит одно тело со своей сестрой. Она действительно думает, что Дон её сестра, её родителей и своими родители тоже. По этой причине она всегда берет контроль над телом Дон, когда кто-то пытается им навредить. Сама же Дон, не смотря на то, что она прекрасно знает, что Дони не только её вторая личность, но и плод её воображения, все равно тоже считает её своей сестрой. Лаки это кот, является питомцем Дон. Она является его хозяйкой почти год, Дон нашла его на улице кем-то брошенным и решила его приютить. Лаки любит запрыгивать на плёчо своей хозяйки или кому-то другому, когда он гуляет. Это на сегодня все. Надеюсь вам нравится этот арт. (Eng) Hello everybody! This is art by Don and her sister and her pet, Lucky.  You may ask: Which sister are we talking about? I'll tell you: it's her second personality, Dony. I'll tell you a little bit about Dony and Lucky. About Dony, on the old arts I wrote repeatedly that she is Don's second personality. But the interesting thing is that Doni is not just her second personality, but also her imaginary twin sister. Even as a child, Don dreamt of having a native sister and wanted her to show up. But since she had to wait a long time for her to come, Don just made up a twin who looked exactly like her. The only differences were orange eyes with vertical pupils and the presence of claws. Such differences were not accidental. Don rarely saw her father in his animal form when he had those same orange eyes. Before she met Sam and Rose, Don often played with her imaginary sister. At some point in her life (namely as a child) it happened that Dony became her second personality. How this happened is unknown, but her mother was able to determine after some time that Don had a split personality. The only who know about Dony as a second personality and imaginary sister are her mother, Sam, Rose, and Sky. Dony herself thinks she's real and doesn't understand why she shares a body with her sister. She really thinks Don is her sister, her parents and her parents too. For this reason, she always takes control of Don's body when someone tries to hurt them. Don herself, even though she knows very well that Dony is not only her second personality but also a figment of her imagination, all the same considers her her sister as well. Lucky is a cat, is Don's pet. She has his hostess for almost a year, Don found him on the street abandoned by someone and decided to take him in. Lucky likes to jump on his hostess's shoulder or someone else's when he walks. That's all for today. I hope you like this art.

Happy Tree Friends (c) Mondo Media, Don, Dony and Lucky (c) Me.

[clsiel]

So, I've always wanted to type kosan 95 characters so bad. I wanna know their mbti types BUT I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE :( I have friends that know more about cognitive functions than me but they're not Indonesian :'( idk if there's any Indonesian that is interested both in kosan 95 and mbti. I found someone that reads webtoon and know mbti as well but I'm not close with them

I already put kosan 95 on PDB but ofc most of them still don't have type cuz no one has voted yet. S e d

Anyway. I'm gonna info dump UwU

These are some of the characters that I've been trying to guess what their type is

Dadang radiates Intp energy

but I can't type him just based on his vibes. So I've been re reading and honestly, I don't see Ne at all in him. He rarely zone out, he's always in the present and is perfectly aware of what's going on around him. Sooo now I'm thinking that dadang is actually Istp. I can see hints of Ni here and there and Fe too. So right now I'm going to say that he's Istp? Still not sure tho. Maybe he's istp with well-developed Ni? He seemed to plan everything well in that incident in season 1. Hmhmhmshsmk

The other one is Rudy.

He reeks Se. He's so impulsive, acting before thinking... He often blurts out whatever he's thinking without thinking it over or just doesn't simply care with the consequences that will come later.

I'm still not sure whether he uses Fi or Ti. I don't really see Ti in him tho. But I can say that I vaguely see Fi? Like when he overheard the talk, his dad and his uncle about their plan wanting to stop indy's search. He really believes that Indy is still alive and the one that can help indra.

It's almost feels like indra and Indy hold a special place in his heart (ofc, duh.) It's like they became his personal values which exactly what Fi is. He mostly acts because of what he thinks is right.

I wanna say something more but I sound like blabbering nonsense so I'll just skip that one 💀💀

Doni

Anyway, next one is doni. God this guy. I was thinking he was Ixtp. But now that I think about it... What if he's istj? I need to read more about Ti vs Te. He definitely doesn't act based on what he feels. So that makes him a thinker ig but we'll see. I can see Fe in him tho. And maybe a hint of Ne...? Idk, the way he jokes around is so Ne like. It's honestly funny how he's intp and dadang is istp.

Doni is a tudmer. His life is full of danger and adventure. Everyday is not the same day. It's unpredictable and exciting. It's honestly what any xstp would want to do.

How intp is usually portrayed as lazy genius character and that's exactly who dadang is lmao.

Or maybe he's just Istp.

"Siska is prolly the most obvious estp"

Is what I wanna say. Sike 💀💀 and again, I'm on the verge between entp or estp. Thinking back again... She does look like she has Ne... I need to read again ig.

Budi is the easiest one.

He's isfj. Even though he doesn't act like stereotypical isfj who is all sweet and openly very caring. Fe is so fucking obvious. He loves to help people, he's happy when he cook for his friends. And ig routine is the proof for his Si? He always does same thing over and over again.

Faisal, Rena, and Indra

Is probably the hardest.

Faisal

I can't still figure out whether he uses Fe or Fi. It seems to me like he uses both. He seems to care so much about what people think of him and he's easy to cover up whatever he's thinking with being friendly and accomadating and caring. The way he treated Rena is so Fe. This is so stereotypical honestly cuz Fe = fake

Okay okay but not only that, I feel like he also has Si. But maybe it's due to his childhood trauma? It must have something to do with his enneagram. I haven't learned that one :')

Right now I'm just assuming he's xsfp. He's pretty goal oriented tho... Sign of Te.

Other thing about him tho... He can be just as impulsive as Rudy. He's more impulsive than he looks like. Especially after seeing his backstory.

I feel like if Faisal never met indra or had any trauma in the first place, he will be exactly like Ayu, Rena's friend. Her personality and smol Faisal is so similar lmao. Theyre also very loyal to those they dear. Ayu is very loyal and protective to rena meanwhile Faisal is so loyal to indra.

Maybe he's isfp but I need to check again.

Indra

He also has childhood trauma. It's gonna be hard typing him. Maybe Infj? He plans everything and know exactly who he has to keep close to him. It's either infj or isfj. I definitely can see Fe in him. He's so caring and gentle in season 3. Tho I vaguely remember that's not how he was portrayed back then in season 1 but oh well. Maybe he was in a loop back then

Rena

HSSHANAKSNEHJSWNdhdnsS IDK ABOUT HER :( I think she has Si. She learned a lot from her past experiences. Even though it was not shown very much how she reflects on her past actions but when facing similar dangerous situation... She is more ready to face it. I don't think having trouble to adapt to new environment is a solid sign of Si. Besides she was having trouble in season 1 not because she didnt like living in kosan 95 but because she was confused

I'm thinking of isfj. She could be infj or infp tho idk

Anyway. I'm done. If any of you who happen to stumble upon this post and you know both kosan 95 and mbti... Hmu. I'm waiting for you patiently everyday

[teddibearclub]

my favourite things kpop boys have said:

eric: a long time ago i dressed up as a princess but now i want to dress up as-

kevin: a prince?

eric: no, geodude from pokémon

-

kevin: i don’t know what a het is

-

20 seconds of silence

jisung (skz): gay!

-

kevin: van gogh was found wigless and shook in his grave, thank you for that narrative.

-

mark lee: i feel like the possibility of those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen

-

johnny: i was thinking we could also go for like frozen yogurt

mark completely changing the tone straight faced: oh i’m not a yogurt fan, i can’t eat yogurt

johnny: no it’s like ICEcream

mark: i know

johnny: ok nevermind

-

mark lee to a random person : excuse me do you know this song “party on the city where the heat is on all night in the beach where the beat is on, welcome to miami”

the person:

mark lee: i’m sorry ok

*later*

mark lee: hey do you guys know this song-

-

mark lee: wow this country music is making this texas feel more like texas, even more like texas

-

mark lee: my fingers aren’t mine

-

jaemin: then i’m jin ramyum

dream: oiiiiii

renjun: i feel like dying

dream:

renjun: what’s wrong?

-

mark lee to a squirrel: check this out hey buddy aw come on man waaeyay

-

mark: woah it’s actually different from santa monica beach because i always thought that all beaches were the same and it actually isn’t

johnny: that’s horrible how you think that

mark: i mean like in a way you know it’s just like water and a shore and then sand but now it’s different

-

renjun: in the case that this works out for me, i am going to go to the moon. i don’t want to live on this earth.

-

ten: *does a cute thing then looks at renjun* why are you looking at your hyung like that?

renjun: i’m scared

-

doni: can you do something like jeno did?

renjun: i don’t really understand korean that well

doni: suddenly? chenle, is there anything you can do?

chenle: i don’t understand...

*renjun and chenle high five*

-

renjun: i have an animal that i’m afraid of and i don’t have plans on revealing what it is

johnny: why? what animal is it

jeno: tell us!

renjun: it’s humans

-

renjun on weekly idol: i’m confident in korean

renjun anytime he doesn’t want to answer something: i’m not good at korean

renjun fluent in korean: korean is hard for me! :)

mr fluent in korean speaking in korean: i can’t speak korean though?

renjun to dream who know he’s fluent: i’m bad a korean you know

-

mark: we gathered up together in the early morning it’s nice

renjun: as we’ve been together since early in the morning, i’m tired of being together now

-

renjun: emergency exits remind me of nctzens

jeno: *spitting out his water*

-

renjun: today though such a fun program like idol room, i learned that the world is a cold and unfair place

-

mark: there’s so much generation difference between us

renjun pushing mark away: let’s keep our distance then

-

renjun: i wonder what it’ll be like when i become an adult, im worried i feel like i’ll have to be more responsible, but seeing mark.. there isn’t much to it, i mean he can drink now but that’s about it

-

yukhei: you see i’m born in the 80s so i don’t know about slang

renjun pointing to kun: what about that guy over there?

kun: *ready to murder*

-

sicheng: the scene where i appear-

renjun: YOU IMMEDIATELY DISAPPEAR

-

renjun to jeno: because you are even less fun than usual i am giving you this award

-

renjun: we’re so boring so fans must be pressing all the hearts out of boredom

-

renjun: so if i don’t win i have to pair up with the mc?

mc: yes

renjun: i should pull myself together then

-

mc: why are you so good at korean?

renjun: i’m not good at korean

doni: *grabs renjun because he’s a lying brat*

renjun: *happily showing the camera he is being attacked* why aren’t you fixing my clothes?

doni: *fixing renjuns shirt because he’s a king and it’s what he deserves*

-

renjun after losing every game: this is like we’re in a movie maybe there will be a big plot twist at the end

doni: there won’t

renjun: as expected from a biased pair of people

-

renjun and chenle talking

jisung: what are you guys saying?

renjun: if you want to know learn the language

-

mark: do we get a prize?

mc: we have an expensive gift prepared

renjun: now it’s worth doing!

-

chenle: wow my chinese is so good

renjun: nice! did you forget you’re chinese?

-

i cant remember who said this probably renjun: i think nct dream, you can say we are kind of a fun team, but when i look at the hyung team i feel frustrated, please gain strength hyungs

-

mark: ive been wearing the shoes renjun made, they’re very comfortable

renjun: i didnt make them comfortable i just drew on them

-

renjun: a spoiler? what if i get fired from the company?

donghyuck: get fired? us? get fired? lmao

-

kevin: jacob i’ve been waiting forever for this moment

jacob: waiting for what? waiting for me?

kevin: honey i see you everyday

-

jacob: the scent of autumn, the scent of leaves

kevin: we’re indoors but okay

-

kevin: kid, mama’s gotta dance

-

renjun: *speaks in chinese*

jeno: wow you are so good at chinese, did u study it a lot?

renjun: yes

-

ten: oh this is not icecream this is butter

-

johnny: there’s this thing too where girls call guys as “oh daddy” but not like a real dad

-

tens birthday note to johnny: i wanna have xxxx with you fatass! love you forever darling

mark: i don’t think we should read that

-

donghyuck: a six-pack is too heavy for me, so now i only walk around with a one-pack. i leave the other five behind.

-

nct: goodnight

mark: don’t let the bed bugs bite

ten: open your eyes

nct: NO CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE YOUR EYES!

-

johnny: my dad knew i likes beans so like he was playing with beans, and he dropped it and then he dropped it on a rock and it slid and then hot water started falling, and then coffee

-

host: wow your english is really good

johnny: i’m from chicago

-

johnny: i chose fried mackerel, mackarol, mackarel, the fish, mackerol, mackerel, mackarel *cute shrug*

-

jungwoo: trip to space

johnny: you wanna go home?

mark: that’s where he came from

jungwoo: my friends are there

mark: that’s his home town

-

jacob: i cant compare to him so-

kevin: it’s okay jacob everyone’s an artist in their own way

-

kevin: fun fact i used to do gymnastics

jacob: SAME

kevin: oh really!!

jacob: and then i quit :)

-

chenle: talking to reporters-

jisung: harry potter

jisung in excitement: ha-REPORTER

-

kevin in distress: jacob you have no beyoncé in your library, what is this? WHAT IS THIS!?

jacob: no i respect her i love her music

kevin making a scissor motion with his hands: you know what this is? scissors. to cut our friendship.

jacob: why are you exposing me like that

kevin: i’m just kidding, if beyoncé can forgive jayz i can forgive you jacob”

-

kevin: jacob came back from canada with a suitcase full of cereal

-

donghyuck: oh canada, this is korea man don’t forget okay.

-

mark lee: wait chips means fries right? 

-

kevin: sam if you’re out there i’m still waiting for you to *cough* TEXT ME BACK

-

jacob: and jeff i love you

tbz: awww

kevin: mY nAmE jEfF

-

chenle pointing at a roller coaster: do you wanna ride?

jisung: hell no i’ll die

-

chenle: jisung which sunglasses are better these or the other ones

jisung: both are mediocre

-

doyoung: that’s a difficult question because i don’t read

-

fan: comments something about renjun stealing their heart

renjun: i don’t know how to react to these types of comments... why are you all like this? everyone let’s self reflect...

-

renjun: pretend we’re close in front of the camera

donghyuck: we’re supposed to be close friends right? this is going to be hard 

-

ten: xiaojun stop being dramatic challenge

-

taemin from shinee: *singing replay by shinee*

yukhei: that’s not it

yukhei *showing taemin from shinee how to sing a shinee song*

mark: *dying in the background*

-

bambam talking about got7’s first album: you know the time we thought we was so cool, we was so good, but then we look back and it’s like what the hell

-

jae: would you rather wake up in someone’s body or wake up without being able to communicate?

brian: i’d rather not communicate

jae: then you can’t sing

brian: i’m fine with that, my parents gifted me this body

day6: ??? the fuck ???

sungjin: what if you wake up in JYPs body one day?

day6:

day6: what about it. i love it. that’s would be lovely

jae: we love you boss 👍

-

jae: what would you forget?

dowoon: i ate some ants as a kid

wonpil: i ate pill bugs

sungjin: i ate soap

wonpil: everyone’s eaten soap, what about crayons?

jae: crayons???

wonpil: they looked delicious when i was a kid

brian: i’ve eaten them

sungjin: they must’ve tasted good

-

dowoon: *stuffing marshmallows in his mouth*

brian: no you can do more STOP CHEWING PUT IT IN

dowoon muffled: i think i’m going to die

brian: you think you’re going to die??

brian smiling: sorry he might die , he might choke to death

jae: *reaching over to stuff more marshmallows in dowoons mouth*

-

brian gets a dare to sing everything he says: dare or dare~

dowoon: oooowwooo~

brian: this is my dare don’t take it from me~

-

q: can you name my bird

renjun: ...if i say to name it “bird” will u want to hit me

[ksoap-ie]

Weekly Idol // Ha-Eun

Hello! Sorry for the long wait. I hope you’re all staying safe and well at home. I know quarantine is driving people crazy but I wish everyone good health during this time. I’ve been inspired lately so look forward to some updates!

Masterlist

“I nurtured these friends,I nurtured them” Defconn states, looking at the camera. Behind the set, stood the 7 members of Astro. Ha-Eun gulps as one of the many other camera’s start to film the group.

The staff of Fantagio had told the group that they would be appearing on weekly idol to promote Confession. While the boys of Astro had appeared on weekly idol before with KNK and 4TEN, Ha-Eun had not. That day, she was auditioning for a drama and wasn’t able to attend as the recording time was the same as her audition. The boys seemed excited to go on weekly idol again as they had a lot of fun last time, however Ha-Eun felt the opposite. She had watched episodes of Weekly Idol in the past, and while she doesn’t have an issue with Doni and Coni, the activities in the show make her anxious. The anxiety had been building up over the past month, and last night she poured her heart out to Eunwoo while the boys were sleeping. 

Ha-Eun laughs along with the boys while Coni gives hints about the group to Doni. When they are finally called on set, Ha-Eun hides behind the Variety certificate that Jin-jin and Eunwoo carry in.

“1, 2, 3, 4... aren’t you missing a member?” Doni asks, while the boys giggle. Ha-Eun pops her head around the back of the certificate and waves at the camera, before introducing herself with the rest of the group. They are then asked to introduce themselves individually.

“I am the captain of justice.”

“I’m the invincible rock.”

“I’m the puppy-kitten of the team.”

“I’m the ultimate weapon!”

“I’m the team’s smile engine!”

“I’m the guardian of women’s hearts.”

“I’m the baby of the team!”

----------------------------------------

After doing a catwalk, and performing confession, everyone sits down to write their profiles.

“Let’s start with Jinjin first.” Doni says, before reading the Jinjin’s paper, “likes to play with members ‘reporter and dinosaur’, ‘climbing a cliff’ and more.”

“Ah, when we were filming DOCCA, the members and I would play these together.”

“Lets do a little so we can see.”

Jinjin gestures for Ha-Eun, Sanha and MJ to help show off the cliff climbing play. Ha-Eun walks a little to where the boys are almost in a type of push up position, and copies them. When action is shouted, the three start scrambling and screaming. Ha-Eun holds one arm up, with her fist clenched as if she was holding onto a piece of rubble and thrashes around. Meanwhile, Sanha and MJ crawl forward.

“Sanha, are you okay?!” MJ asks. He then looks over at Ha-Eun and reaches over, “Take my hand!”

Doni quickly stands up and points towards the exit. “Please crawl your way out of the studio.”

The other members are cracking up as the four stand and dust themselves off. Then, they do one more play where Jinjin is the reporter and the other members run around and be dinosaurs. Ha-Eun crouches a little, putting one hand up on her head and one behind her back, she starts running a little around set. 

Jinjin attempts to interview several of the members but after a few failures, Coni kicks Jinjin’s leg and starts shouting. Immediately, Ha-Eun stops. Despite knowing that it’s just a variety show, and it’s just for the sake of comedy, she begins to feel uncomfortable. She wanders back to her seat, watching everyone else, in hopes of not bringing any attention to herself. 

Everyone then becomes a bit calmer, and sits down. Eunwoo places himself next to Ha-Eun and puts his arm on her shoulder, swinging in his seat. After a few impressions from Jinjin, such as Dobby and Dogae-ssi, the MC’s move onto Eunwoo’s profile. He also shows off a few impressions as well as a girl group dance he prepared. 

Rocky shows of his personal skills, followed by Moonbin showing off his great sense of smell. A bunny blindfold is placed on his face and the members line up. 

“I’ll guide you” Doni says as Coni couches in between Eun and Rocky. Doni guides Moonbin to the first three member, who he guesses correctly. Moonbin sniffs Coni, suddenly letting out a complaint.

“Ah, something feels strange...”

Coni lets Moonbin smell MJ, Coni, Sanha and then Ha-Eun, following up with asking him who was the first person he smelt. He guesses MJ correctly,

“Who was the second person? It’s between Sanha and Ha-Eun.”

“But...” Moonbin hesitates, shaking his head. “They don’t smell like that though.”

“What was that smell then?”

“Sour.”

Doni then gets Moonbin to smell him, with Moonbin answering that he smells like rubber. Finally, taking off the blindfold, Moonbin passed.

“What does Jinjin smell like?”

“JinJin smells like the shampoo he uses, Rocky is like seafood, Ha-Eun smells like vanilla or fruity. I think it’s a perfume she uses... Then Eunwoo is scentless, MJ smells a bit like green tea and Sanha smells like a baby.”

----------------------------

“Lastly, we have Ha-Eun. She is very expressive in regard to hand gestures, she can play the piano and she can jump over a skipping rope while doing a handstand. The last one is interesting, can you explain?” Coni asks. 

“Ah, I used to do a lot of gymnastics when I was younger, it was something my mum wanted me to try so I attended lessons. Obviously, we practised a lot of handstands and back handsprings and jumping handstands was just a useful skill. I don’t know how I started doing it, I assume I saw some videos of people doing it and gave it a try!”

“Well lucky for you, we have a jump rope here.” The crew passes the rope to MJ, who stands on one end, while Doni stands on the other side. Ha-Eun stretches for a bit before getting into a handstand. 

“Woah, I’ve never seen her do that before.” Jinjin gasps, putting a clenched fist to his mouth. 

“Jinnie, didn’t you hear the part where I said I did gymnastics? This is one of the basic moves.”

“Okay, are you ready?” Doni asks, Ha-Eun nods and the skipping rope moves a little. “1...2...3...go!”

The rope moves in a circular motion and Ha-Eun jumps, everyone gasps. She manages to do about 10 jumps before putting her feet on the ground and bowing to the camera. 

“Woah, that was really impressive.” Coni gawks, “You’re really tiny so I think we’re shocked that a girl like you has that much strength.”

A girl like me? What’s that supposed to mean? But she shakes her head and bows towards Coni, thanking him.

“These friends are really hardworking and full of energy too. Until now, its Astro!” 

-------------------------------

The filming had ended after a good two hours or so and the group are now in the van heading back to the company for their dance practice. Ha-Eun was sitting next to Eunwoo in the back. All the members were talking to each other about the filming, or listening to music. Ha-Eun was doing the latter, looking at the passing street with headphones in her ears. She’s ripped out of her little world as Eunwoo tugs her headphones off. 

“Hey.” She crosses her arms and pouts.

“Hey,” He chuckles back, “how did you feel about today?”

“ To be fully honest with you, I felt fine most of the time knowing that you were there looking out her me.” 

Eunwoo grins and puts his arm around her as he lays back in his seat.

“I’m glad, let me know if anything else ever bothers you.”

“Of course.”

She also sits back in her seat, thinking to herself.

  Yes, the recording today was fine. I shouldn’t judge what I haven’t experienced. Everything is okay.

[ahgapride98]

REFLECTION ABOUT GOT7’S COMEBACK

Hello baby birds! I know it has been a long time since I last posted and I’m so sorry about it, I’ve been extremely busy with college and life in general and couldn’t find time to post anything here. But… good news: I’m finally free and I plan on finishing my ‘Memory Lane’ series, but first I need to address some things regarding this comeback that I’m not so happy about.

1. GOT7’s ‘Eclipse’ MV views in the first 24h. It’s no secret that we only got 6’5M views for Eclipse in the first 24h after its release (less than the views for ‘Miracle’ and ‘Focus On Me’ – JUS2 subunit). Now, I don’t really know who we should blame for this: YouTube or ourselves? While streaming the MV I noticed that the views were frozen for approximately 1h whole hour, and the worst part of all is that we never got those views back. I was so mad at YouTube for doing us dirty when we were putting all of our best efforts there for the boys (we had a great start, 500.000 views in just 1h after the release); But another thing I also noticed was that our streaming party didn’t really work, it was like ahgases were not working together to reach our 15M goal. It almost felt like we weren’t there, and that makes me sad because we almost got the same result as we did with ‘Look’ (6M views). I really had big hopes of breaking Lullaby’s record (10M in the first 24h), but it seems like we are going backwards instead of forward. This made me feel like the fandom decreased instead of growing - something that is not true because our fandom got bigger after the world tour. Now, like I said before, I don’t know if we should blame YouTube for this or ourselves. I honestly think it’s a combination of both, YouTube really did us dirty but we should have tried harder for our boys. (Funny thing: our views in the first 24h were really low but we managed to reach 30M views in just 5 days, beating our own record…).

2. Melon issue. This is something I talked about in my ‘Lullaby Comeback Reflection’ post, and I still think the same thing. I don’t know why Melon hates us, but they do. On the first day (20/05), we debuted at number 52, and just went downhill from there reaching the 71st place. Then, on the second day (21/05), it seemed like we went up for a bit and managed to reach the 45th position, then we dropped to 55 and from there we charted 100 and eventually disappeared from the chart. On the third day (22/05), we appeared again at number 90 only to drop to the 91st place, and then go up to 75. Finally, on the fourth day (23/05), we charted the 82nd place and after that we disappeared from the chart. As you can see our results are not good enough, ‘Eclipse’ charted really low compared to other songs. On top of that, we only charted for four days before completely disappearing from the Melon chart. I’m positive this is Melon’s doing, they did us dirty in our last comeback too and I wouldn’t be surprised if they are supressing our listeners and sabotaging our streaming party. I’m so sorry for the boys because they worked really hard for this, but their efforts are still not recognised in Korean charts (specially Melon).

3. Timing. This is a really important point. We have to be honest and admit that GOT7’s comeback came in the worst time ever. First of all, it was scheduled shortly after Bambam’s ‘Black Feather Tour’ in Thailand, Jackson’s birthday fan meeting in China and JUS2 debut and tour. Many ahgases spent a lot of money buying the new subunit albums and tickets for all the shows. Also, we have the world tour just around the corner, so it makes sense that many ahgases prefer saving their money to buy tickets for the tour instead of buying the new albums. On top of that, we can’t forget that the majority of the fandom are teenagers and young adults that have final exams around this time of the year (myself included, the day of the comeback I had my first final exam in college). This obviously made the fandom focus on other things that were by far more important to us than the comeback (sad but true).

4. Sales – Album stock. This is closely related to the last point. Because of the timing the comeback was scheduled, our sales weren’t good either. On the first day, we sold 62,002 copies (our best result ever), but throughout the week we only managed to sell 214.125 copies (not good enough to win on music shows). Now, this has to do with the lack of stock: for some reason there weren’t enough albums and a lot of ahgases had to wait until Wednesday to be able to purchase them (that’s a whole day lost there, thanks for nothing JYP…). I don’t understand why this happened, especially if we take into account that GOT7 is the best album-seller under JYP Entertainment (‘Eyes On You’ sold 223.844 copies in the first week, the best-selling album under the company). They should have been more prepared and have stock ready knowing that even though GOT7 are not digital monsters, the rock with album sales.

5. Music shows. We don’t have to be geniuses to know that with our bad charting and lower sales, we have very few options of winning with ‘Eclipse’, even if we do well with MV views. In music programs, they give more importance to digital sales than physical album sales, and since we are not even charting anymore (in most charts), I am going to be honest here and say that I don’t think we are going to win anything (‘You Are’ 2.0). My thoughts are based -specially- after today’s Show Champion: we were nominated but didn’t win. Usually the time to bring trophies home is during the first week after the comeback was released (or the second week of promotions), after the first week winning is really hard. But based on our horrible start and everything that happened last week, I don’t think we are going to get any trophy with this comeback (just my opinion, I could still be wrong).

EDIT: I WAS WRONG, WE WON ON MCOUNTDOWN (30/05), MUSIC BANK (31/05) AND INKIGAYO (02/06)!!!!! 💚💚

6. JYP Division 2 - Promotions. This is something that has to do with this comeback, but also something that I have been accumulating for months now. The way Division 2 handles and promotes GOT7 is pure shit, it’s like they are not even focusing on them. First, they barely put them on variety shows, and the only one they went to -Idol Room- was lacking promotion music wise; and the promotion period is just two weeks (meaning that this upcoming week is the last one we will be seeing them on music shows). They spent the first 30 minutes of the program talking and messing around with Doni and Coni, and then introduced ‘Eclipse’. For a non GOT7 fan, an outsider, this could get boring pretty fast. Secondly, the album stock situation: because of that mistake we lost sales, sales that were crucial for music shows. Thirdly, the time they decided to release the comeback was extremely bad calculated, they should have known this could happen. Also, their decision of debuting a new subunit and sending Bambam on tour was something benefitial at the moment but with not so good long term consequences, as everything now seems rushed and poorly done. I understand that it’s really hard to schedule comebacks, specially if we take into account the company as a whole: Itzy’s debut - JUS2 debut / Jinyoung drama - StrayKids comeback - Twice comeback - Itzy comeback - GOT7 world tour - Twice world tour - StrayKids world tour... but even though everything is packed, I still think that things could have been done differently. There’s something wrong with the management team in Division 2 that is affecting GOT7 negatively, and that also makes me fear for Itzy (as both groups are under this division).

7. JYP strict rules towards fans – Fansigns problems. This point has to do with issues that happened weeks prior to the comeback, but that is clearly affecting the promotions. In case you didn’t know, ‘fans’ followed GOT7 members everywhere (yes, even to their homes), the situation got so out of control that even the boys had to post in their personal Instagram accounts the official statement released by JYP Entertainment, and because of that JYP reinforced the rules that ahgases must follow when they are with the boys. But this rules have gone as far as to not even allowing the fans to touch or high five the members in fansigns (now, let’s remember that the fans that go to the fansigns have spent a ridiculously huge amount of money on albums just to get the chance of going), and not letting the members write the names of the fans in the albums (they just basically sign the album and that’s it). And not only that, recently ahgases that went to one of the fansigns last week took to Twitter to express their discontent with how they were treated by the staff. I’ll leave some of the messages that ahgases posted on Twitter:

I do agree that we must protect the boys, and I think those rules are great to be followed outside. But on a closed space with security to watch over everything that’s going on in the event, not allowing fans to even get a high five with the members is going a bit too far. Also, the staffs’ attitude needs to be checked: they are there working, not having fun with their friends. They should know their position in the fansigns, and not disturb the conversations going on between fans and the members of GOT7. I really hope JYP Entertainment thinks things over, because if not the consequences could be catastrophic. Take as an example the upcoming tour, no info about VIP tickets has been released yet. In fact, for the America leg of the tour there are no VIP tickets. That makes me wonder how things are going to be done in the tour.

8. Album and comeback thoughts (focused on just the boys and music). After so many negative comments, the only good thing about all of this is seeing the boys together and doing what they love. I can’t express with words how happy I am to see them together again after so much time. Also, the whole album is a bop. It’s the bop of the year (fight me on that): all the songs are amazing, the vocals, the raps, the lyrics, the music, the style, the concep... just everything is out of this world. I’m so glad that they get to perform on stage and carry out the message this album has. I couldn’t relate more with the meaning of this album, and I know we all ahgases feel the same way. Even though a lot of negative things have happened in the past few weeks, I’m still happy to see they are back and better than ever. As their fans, the only thing we can do is support them no matter what and be there for them just like they are here for us when we need them the most. Also, I can’t wait for the tour to start and I can’t wait to see them again this year. I’m so excited that just listening to the songs of the last tour makes me feel tingly on the inside!

Well baby birds, that’s it for today’s post. I’ll update my ‘Memory Lane’ series as soon as possible as some of you have been asking for the remaining members. I love you all!!! 💚🐥💚

[shownuslaugh]

Ideal Type

Series: Bigbang 6th Member AU

Pairing: SJ/Taeyang; SJ/GD

2016

           Someone would have to be either deaf or willfully ignorant to not hear the ear piercing shriek coming from SJ’s hotel room. Jiyong could hear it crystal clear, racing next door only to run straight into SJ herself. Their chests collided painfully, but SJ didn’t seem to care. She rubbed the sore spot briefly before shoving the phone in Jiyong’s face.

           “Hyung! Look!” Her excitement is clear, eyes sparkling with joy.

           “What’s so important that you’re screaming your head off at three in the morning?”

           “At least her screams are more pleasant than whatever porn star Seungri had in his room earlier.” Taeyang joins the other members in the hallway, wiping sleep out of his eyes.

           “She wasn’t a porn star,” SJ states calmly. “Seungri would never be that lucky.”

           Jiyong shushes the two of them, eyes glued to SJ’s cellphone. “Sechskies was on Weekly Idol? SJ, I know you love them, but isn’t this a bit much? Screaming because they’re on a show?”

           “That’s not why I’m screaming. Do you really think I’m that type, Jiyong?” SJ pouts, resting her head on Taeyang’s shoulder and wrapping her arms around his. “Fast forward to when they start talking about YG.”

           He glares momentarily at the way she clings to his best friend before doing as she says and fast forwarding the clip. Jiwon does a lot of the speaking, Jiyong notes. It makes sense. He’s the leader after all. It would be strange if he wasn’t doing most of the talking. What doesn’t make sense is SJ’s face popping up on the screen as he continues talking. Jiyong pauses, rewinds a good ten seconds, and raises the volume.

           “Was there anyone that really impressed you when you first got to YG? Any new talent that you really liked?” Doni is the one to ask the question, addressing the whole group, but Jiwon answers first.

           “I don’t know if you’d call her new, but SJ from Bigbang is really great,” Jiwon says.

           SJ’s face pops up on the screen, a shot from Fantastic Baby era where her wardrobe was… questionable to say the least. Her one and only sexy concept. Of course they choose that photo.

           “SJ is Jiwon’s ideal type,” Suwon adds in with a smile and a laugh.

           Coni’s mouth falls open. “Really?”

           Jiwon is visibly flustered, waving his hand in an attempt to deny anything. His face gives it away though. Jiyong has an uncanny ability to know when people are lying about finding SJ attractive. Normally though, it’s the rookies trying to deny it. They blush and backtrack as hard as they can until it’s just too obvious. He isn’t used to seeing a grown man do the same thing. A grown man that’s been married before at that.

           “He won’t say so, but she is,” Suwon continues. “He’s always telling us how pretty she is, how talented she is, how smart she is-”

           “I’d like to work with her is all,” Jiwon interrupts. “I think as far as our juniors in the company go she’s one of the best. She’s got a lot of overlooked talent.”

           “And it doesn’t hurt that he thinks she’s sexy.” Jaijin smiles crookedly, endearing himself to the camera and SJ if the tiny squeal she lets out is any indication.

           “How long does this go on for?” Taeyang peers at the screen, tilting his head to the side briefly. “How long is that picture of you going to be right there? Why are they even using that picture? You’re barely wearing anything!”

           SJ rolls her eyes and pushes Taeyang away, yanking her phone out of Jiyong’s hand. “Fine, ruin the best day of my life with your shitty “you have to stay covered up at all times” attitude. See if I care! Because I don’t, I promise you. I don’t care at all.”

           “SooJin,” Taeyang calls after her as she marches back to her room.

           “What?!”

           He grins playfully. “Do you care?”

           She turns slowly, shoulders tense and eyes blazing with anger. “Maybe you’re laughing now, but when I’m married to Jiwon and the CEO of YG, you’re doubting ass will be the first one to go.”

           Taeyang has to hide his laughter. “What about Siwon?”

           “Who?” She lets out a tiny gasp seconds later as the realization sinks in. “Wait, no, don’t tell him I did that!”

           “And miss out on delivering the best news? I don’t think so.”

��          “I thought you loved me!”

           “I do,” Taeyang says. “But I also love making life hard for you sometimes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find Siwon’s phone number.”

           SJ tilts her chin up, fixing him with a glare. “I have Jiwon. I’ll be fine.”

           Taeyang shrugs and heads back to his room.

           “Youngbae, no!” SJ chases after him, leaving Jiyong standing in the hallway.

Jiyong shakes his head and goes back in his own room. It’s completely dark except for what little lighting the glow off the television offers, inviting him to sink back into a deep slumber. If only it were that simple. Jiyong gets back under the covers and shuts his eyes only to be met with images of SJ in the same position. She’s in bed, drifting off, but there’s someone beside her. It’s not Siwon- someone Jiyong is used to dealing with and can simply ignore. No, this time it’s Jiwon with his arms around SJ. It’s Jiwon stroking her hair as her breathing gets deeper. It’s Jiwon sleeping beside her.

“Jiyong?” Nana stirs from her own slumber and sits up. “I heard SooJin and Youngbae yelling. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” he reassures her. “Go back to sleep.”

“What was that scream earlier? Was it really SJ?”

Jiyong makes a noise that could be interpreted as an affirmative. “Sechskies was on Weekly Idol. Apparently Jiwon likes SJ.”

“They would make a cute-”

“Don’t say things you know will start an argument. Go to sleep.” Jiyong rolls over so he isn’t facing her anymore.

Nana hits his arm. Not very hard, but hard enough that he knows she’s displeased. “Just let go of her already! She doesn’t love you!”

“Go to sleep,” Jiyong repeats.

[inyournightmares97]

What about got7 made you like them so much

Oh, dear. This is a heavy question to wake up to and I will not be able to go about my day unless I do justice to this, so here you go lovely anon. GOT7 was not the reason I got into K-Pop, GOT7 was the reason I stayed and if any of this makes it sound like I’m bashing other groups, take my apology now. These are purely my personal opinions and I love EVERY single one of the groups I mention here.

(Please stop reading if you don’t want to read a long, lengthy rant about my love for GOT7 and shit.)

Here we go. Five Reasons I Love GOT7

1. Around 2016, I was at a point where everything in K-Pop was starting to seem rather boring and manufactured. The same practiced answers to the same questions, the same stupid games on every variety show, the same mildly problematic attitude towards sex, skin tone and everything else; this is something which you wouldn’t notice if you stick with a single group but when you’re multi-fandom and you watch so many groups go through the same routine… damn if it doesn’t feel staged after a while. If somebody handed me a mic, I think I could do a standard stage greeting, explain my title song and my ideal type just as well as any idol could. 

Honestly, at that point, Jackson was like a breath of fresh air. Every word that came out of his mouth was so different and I love the casual way in which he questions things the Korean industry takes for granted. If you haven’t seen Hitmaker yet, you must. Jackson tore Doni and Coni a new one, and I had a newfound respect for him. Yes, Jackson Wang is the reason I initially started following GOT7. Most foreign members of rookie groups keep their mouths carefully shut during early debut years because they’re scared of messing up but Jackson’s foray into the Korean industry as a foreigner felt so relatable because the moment something would happen to make me think… well, what was that? Jackson’s loose tongue would be asking the same question in a funnier way than I could have. 

This might sound odd because so many I-fans consider Jackson problematic, but damn, if I don’t think he is the most unproblematic thing as far as K-Pop goes. (More on this later)

2. Damn, if they’re not funny. Yes, a lot of groups are funny and have their moments, I’m pretty sure you could find any idol group saying hilarious things at some point or the other. But GOT7 are the most consistent with their humor. I’ll say it here; I’ve NEVER found a GOT7 video boring. (Let’s not count V-lives. Those drone on forever and are often awkward) These guys were made to entertain. They really were. 

Their interviews are also amazing to watch. Nobody gets MCs flustered like GOT7 does. (One of my favorites is this episode of Idol Battle Likes because the MC, Eunwoo, was a rookie idol and you can see the horror in his face as he tries to salvage the interview yet also the admiration because damn, these guys just do whatever the hell they want to). And this isn’t just Jackson anymore because there are interviews where Jackson isn’t around and they still manage to be hilariously funny. (Case in point: this episode of Global Request Show where Jackson is absent and Jaebum’s unprompted opening line is - “If we lose, Bambam is going to get hit in the forehead by all the members and the MCs” to a flustered baby Bam (who probably did something to piss JB off earlier) and also the classic JJP recreation. 

Not that there aren’t other idols who are also funny. The best example is BtoB, those guys are constantly on crack but their humor is a little different from that of GOT7s, lmao, it consists mostly of me crying at the screen - no, why are you doing that with your pretty face? GOT7, on the other hand, is extremely witty and I am constantly entertained. They couldn’t make us laugh more if their jokes were scripted. 

3. I feel like their relationship with each other is extremely honest. And by that, I don’t mean it’s perfect. I mean it’s honest. Listen, I don’t want to sound like an old veteran or something since I’ve only been into K-Pop for like 3 years or so, but groups are not as close as they seem. (Please don’t take this as me bashing other groups, I love all these guys, but I’m just pointing out examples). Did anyone forsee all the EXO members who left? No, because they all acted really close and tight and loyal until the last moment but now they pretend as if those members never existed. (Yes, I know SM is a snake and is probably making them do that. It still bothers me.) I’ve honestly never heard EXO talk about major fights they had. Infinite, who was my first and for a long time, my ultimate group? I did not see Hoya leaving. When I heard the rumors that a member wasn’t resigning, I was positive it was Sungyeol to go take on an acting career. Hoya doesn’t even seem to talk to the other members much anymore. I was wrong about their friendship, and that shows that there are so many things these idols hide so well from their fans. 

I think GOT7 is relatively one of the most honest groups, and that’s why Jackson keeps saying it. I firmly hope and believe that GOT7 will never spring something as horrifying as a member leaving without a proper explanation. (Not saying that nobody will ever leave. They might choose to take a different path. But I hope and believe it’ll be done the right way, not with radio silence and deflections of awkward questions. Like how Sistar disbanded in such a cool way, writing handwritten letters to the fans explaining their decisions and having an amazing last stage). 

I have also never heard a group talk so freely about the fights they had. I mean, dude. Mark breaking the AC and throwing a laptop at Bam? Jackson and Jaebum fighting over the chicken? I know this sounds funny right now but those were probably extremely serious fights at the time they happened and it’s a testament to their relationship that GOT7 are constantly telling stories about their past fights. I don’t see other groups that tell stories about real fights so often. I really don’t. (Except for totally veteran groups that have been around for like a decade, but guys… I think Seungri and Heechul make up half the stuff they say for entertainment, lmao). 

4. They deal with so much unnecessary hate. Raise your hands if you’re never heard the phrase GOT7 is problematic. Like, wow. There are idols out there who’ve gotten caught doing illegal drugs, have DUIs to their name, participated in financial scandals and harassing fans but GOT7 who have literally never hurt a soul or broken the law are the problematic ones, okay. Sure. 

God, I just hate when people think they’re racist. Guys, open your eyes. GOT7 are the most inclusive group out there. They might be a little stupid at times but they have their hearts in the right places. (HAS NOBODY SEEN THIS VIDEO OF WHEN THAT ASSHOLE HYUNMOO SAID NAMJOON SPEAKS BLACK ENGLISH AND JACKSON SHUT HIM DOWN IN 0.5 SECS?) Don’t get me wrong, Namjoon is my bias in BTS, but I never heard anyone bash him for how problematic he was in his early days. He apologized and people are okay with it but somehow GOT7 still gets pulled up for the dumbest shit. 

Like fuck, guys, half the people who bashed Yugyeom have probably consumed alcohol underage too. Bambam is a little stupid at times, but he’s not racist. Give Mark a break, he’s been in Korea for years, when do you think the last time he hung out with his American friends was? People change, give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m not responsible for the shit my childhood friends get up to. Jaebum was joking with his fans. You can’t say that an idol is so cool for being savage with his members and then suddenly backtrack when he gets savage with you, lmao. Just be savage back to him. It’s banter and I love it. It’s much better than hearing meaningless ‘oh you all mean so much to me’ only to find out the idol fucking leaves the group without a word 2 months later. 

So yeah, I have a protective instinct over GOT7. If one of them actually ever does something problematic then they’re getting called out for it, but come on. Let’s not just make them victims all the time. We know how that feels. I was going through a bad time when GOT7 was getting hate and I connected with them personally. 

5. Finally, GOT7 are the underdogs and I always root for them. To me, they’re that group that has amazing potential and while they’re not completely underrated, there’s this feeling that they’ve gone up to a certain point and now it’s hard to go further. It’s pretty clear from the way the members talk, especially Jackson, Jaebum and Jinyoung, that they’re worried they’ve hit their peak. (Have you guys heard of the 5-year jinx?) I think it’s extremely admirable how they’re putting in all their efforts towards making sure that doesn’t happen because listen. They have money, they have comfortable lives and they can sort of relax and do that thing idol groups do where they half-heartedly put out an album every 12-18 months just for the heck of proving they haven’t disbanded yet. But they’re not, they’re still doing multiple comebacks this year because they want recognition and that is something that resounds with me. 

It’s one thing to be stuck at dirt bottom and give up. It makes me cry to see all those idol groups from underrated companies that die out and never make it, who end up quitting and looking for other options in life. The ones who struggle despite not even making a lot of money. That’s terrible. 

But you know what else is terrible? That feeling that you haven’t lost completely. No, you’re not at the bottom, you did pretty well for yourself but you’re not there yet. You can’t turn back and quit completely, but you also have that last mile left to go and that honestly, that last mile is the hardest. I personally relate to that feeling. It’s the feeling that you’re somewhere up there but you’re not at the top and it’s not hard work or determination or talent that matters anymore, it’s just fucking luck. 

I hope and pray that GOT7 cross that last mile to reach the top in their careers and when they do, I want to be there with them so they can inspire me to cross my own barriers. 

[zero-cycle]

Disclaimer at the start: I don't know all of those people's content really well but I hope this helps!

Under the cut (to not murder your dashboards) is an explanation of what kind of content each cc normally does so you can hopefully find someone you'll enjoy watching! It's roughly grouped by type, so for example the Bedwars ccs are together, as are the speedrunners, as are the SMP players, etc.

Sometimes, there's also videos embedded to kinda show you what kind of style they have.

Astelic and Wallibear are both Bedwars ccs. You might know them from TiredTwt, a group of Bedwars players that includes people like Hannahxxrose and Purpled. Astelic also released this vlog about their IRL meetup if you prefer that kind of content. Both of them have clips/vods channels to check out besides their twitch.

Blushi is also a Bedwars player. She's done videos with both Astelic and Hannah before.

Fluctra is another Bedwars player who also occasionally streams Valorant on Twitch.

Jamba also streams pretty much exclusively Bedwars on her Twitch. The same goes for Rachxo and Xenbe.

Brumin is an aspiring musician that also ocassionally posts Minecraft content, like in this Bedwars video with Badlinu. There's more Minecraft (and Genshin Impact) on his Twitch, mainly Bedwars and some survival.

Angelicat also plays Bedwars, though her youtube content focuses more on Skywars.

Bitzel also plays mainly Skywars, with some occasional UHC and Bedwars content on Youtube. He doesn't seem to stream on Twitch at the moment.

Dtowncat also does Bedwars (and general Hypixel) streams as well as art streams.

YoItsGold plays various games with many dsmp ccs (including a memorable UNO stream with him, Krinios, Niki and Fundy that I don't think exists anymore sadly) though he also plays various Hypixel games on stream on Twitch.

TalentLacking or more commonly known here as "Editor Larry" is the editor for both TommyInnit and Fundy who also has his own youtube channel. There are only very few videos though. On Twitch, he mostly does editing streams and sometimes plays various games on Hypixel.

DropsByPonk is mostly known for being one of the founding members of the Dream SMP but he also plays a lot of Bedwars on his Twitch channel. Ponk streams daily so check him out when you have time. He also recently joined MCC for the first time. Other DSMP ccs on this list are Quackity, Skeppy and Vikkstar.

***

Quackity streams a bit more rarely on Twitch but is known for his highly produced lore streams (they're awesome). On Youtube, he does a lot of videos in Minecraft and Roblox with other big youtubers, more focused on comedy than on the game itself, he uploads very infrequently though.

Skeppy is probably most well-known for "Skephalo", the duo of him and fellow dsmp cc BadBoyHalo. Skeppy does a lot of "I troll my friends" content and rarely focuses on the game itself. Most often the victim of his trolls is Bad, but he also does the same to others. Here is one of his videos where he and Bad actually work together to confuse two different friends, Antfrost and VelvetIsCake.

Similar to Skeppy, Doni Bobes also makes a lot of "I troll my friends" videos, often with various mod packs as support.

***

xNestorio does a lot of "Minecraft, but..." videos on his youtube. You might also recognize him from Technoblade's famous Minecraft Hunger Games tournament video where he, xNestorio and Cxlvxn teamed up and proceeded to absolutely destroy everyone else. He's also competed in both Minecraft Monday and Saturday.

AssassinPlays has done Hardcore and Manhunt style videos before, but seems now to mainly focus on "Minecraft, but" content.

Cyberonix only has a few videos on his youtube channel (most of them with TommyInnit), though he is far more active on his Twitch where he plays "Minecraft, but" and or tournaments/challenges with viewers.

***

TapL does many different things. On Youtube, he mostly does "Minecraft, but" challenges which are frequently streamed on Twitch in full. He is also a well-known MCC competitor and has won before (here is the video he did on it). He also plays Bedwars on Twitch sometimes. He is part of HBG, a Speedrunner group, together with Illumina (and various other ccs like Fruitberries, PeteZahHutt, Sizzler and Feinberg) and does a lot of speedrunning streams.

Illumina (IlluminaHD on Youtube, Illumina1337 on Twitch) is one of the world's top speedrunners since more than six years at this point. If you can think of a minecraft speedrunning category, there's a high chance Illumina has held the world record for it.

You might have heard about him through either Dream (they did a manhunt together and are friends/friendly rivals back when Dream still did speedrunning) or MCC which he joined during last season. He's won twice already (check out his first win with Krinios, Eret and Punz here) and will hopefully be in the next one as well. He mostly streams speedruns on his Twitch and posts world records and pbs to Youtube.

Speaking of HBG, I'd like to add Switch, the newest HBG member to this list (Twitch | Twitter).

If you want to just casually check them out but fear that speedrunning sounds overly complicated, check out the HBG podcast (newest episode here) where both Illumina and Switch (no TapL sadge) were present.

***

Mefs is another one who produces many different kinds of minecraft content. You might recognize him from MCC where he's been a frequent competitor since MCC 2, most recently in MCC Pride. He plays Hypixel, Bedwars, PvP and frequently streams MCC practice.

The same mixture of content goes for Pokay who has posted everything, from SMPLive to UHC, Hunger Games or Skyblock, most of the times with various friends.

Phoodu has posted a lot of content with various DSMP members in the past but now streams mostly Hardcore and Bedwars. He's also made Minecraft, but videos before.

***

Cxlvxn you might recognize from the Techno video (here is Cxlvxn's PoV) or from MCC but his youtube content mostly focuses on various forms of hardcore and PvP.

Huahwi also focuses on PvP and UHC and sometimes Valorant.

***

GEVids posts various Minecraft shorts on their Youtube channel. They don't seem to use their Twitch.

ohMods also does Minecraft shorts on Youtube and streams Hardcore on Twitch.

***

Vikkstar is not only technically still part of the Dream SMP though he barely plays on it, he is also a part of the Sidemen. On the Minecraft side of his content, he just ended a modded Minecraft series called "Pixelmon" where Pokemons are added to Minecraft (Episode 1).

***

39Daph is a part of the OTV and friends Minecraft SMP that also features other big creators like Disguised Toast and well-known Minecraft creators like 5up and both her Youtube and Twitch focus on this at the moment.

AqoursHatesMe, Colorsisabel and Chromaatical are a part of the Balls SMP (yes, that's the name, here is the wiki), a roleplay server. Other members also includes people you might recognize like ItsElectra.

Drewtunes is part of the LastSMP (twitter here), a server where the creators try to tell a cohesive story and uploads lore on his youtube channel.

Squidney90 is part of the Outsiders SMP, that according to her is "A lore-based SMP that is centered around the concept of The Maze Runner".

Wuna is part of the Roughhouse SMP (Twitter) and also posts Bedwars videos sometimes.

IAmTy was a part of SMPLive (here) back when it was still active. The same goes for Toxxxicsupport.

***

Yahiamice plays a lot of different games on his channel, including a minecraft mod . More minecraft can be found on his Twitch, including Bedwars, Lockout Bingo and Survival.

KentaiHaven posts a lot of Genshin Impact at the moment but has made videos centered on various dsmp members before.

Meilqnii does a lot of minecraft content together with their friends and streams on youtube but they don't seem to be very active at the moment.

Ninzkabinz is mainly streaming Valorant and Just Chatting at the moment but has done Minecraft content in the past.

I couldn't find what kind of Minecraft content Andivmg does but she streams Valorant on Twitch at the moment.

The same goes for Willcreated, I can only find Phasmaphobia streams.

Cuptoast or as you might know her by, Crumb does a lot of short animatics on youtube and art streams on Twitch. She also streams Minecraft and is friends with various ccs, including Tubbo.

POC minecraft content creators and where you can support them

because i want to uplift more poc mc ccs :) i tried to include both big and small ccs! some of these people are variety streamers/youtubers but also make minecraft content or are associated with the mc community! i hope you can find some new ccs you enjoy here :)

feel free to add on, i listed as many as i could think of but obviously this isn’t an exhaustive list ^_^;;

39daph: youtube | twitch

Andivmg: twitch

Angelicat: youtube | twitch

AqoursHatesMe: twitch

AssassinPlays: youtube

Astelic: youtube 

Bitzel: youtube | twitch

Blushi: youtube | twitch

Brumin: youtube | twitch

Chromaatical: twitch

Colorsisabel: twitch

Cuptoast: youtube | twitch

Cxlvxn: youtube

Cyberonix: youtube | twitch

Doni Bobes: youtube

Drewtunes: youtube | twitch

DropsByPonk: youtube | twitch

Dtowncat: twitch

Fluctra: twitch

GEVids: youtube | twitch

Huahwi: youtube | twitch

IAmTy: youtube | twitch

Illumina: youtube | twitch

Jamba: twitch

KentaiHaven: youtube | twitch

Mefs: youtube | twitch

Meilqnii: youtube | twitch

Ninzkabinz: youtube | twitch

ohMods: youtube | twitch

Pokay: youtube | twitch

Phoodu: youtube | twitch

Quackity: youtube | twitch

Rachxo: twitch

Skeppy: youtube 

Squidney80: youtube | twitch

TalentLacking: youtube | twitch

TapL: youtube | twitch

Toxxxicsupport: youtube | twitch

Vikkstar123: youtube | minecraft specific channel | twitch

Wallibear: youtube | twitch

Willcreated: twitch

Wuna: youtube | twitch

Xenbe: twitch

xNestorio: youtube | twitch

Yahiamice: youtube | twitch

YoItsGold: youtube | twitch

[justsomegirlyness]

Just Friends

Chapter 9

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You're injured, have flashbacks to your awful past, and Steve proposes an idea

Warnings: Depressed reader, suicidal thoughts, traumatic flashbacks, death, self hatred

AN: Guys, this one is heavier. It was so hard to write. Please read cautiously.

Screaming fills your ears as you fall to the ground beside Bucky. You roll him over, shaking him, crying out for Tony and Cap to come. Panic clouds your mind, adrenaline pumps through your system, paralyzing you. No no no no NO this cannot be happening. I didn't even mean to touch him.

Jesus, no.

You shake him desperately, still screaming for the team to come, when Bucky gasps, eyes suddenly opening and staring into the sky blankly.

Relief almost washes over you for a split second before his metal hand moves a lightening speed to clamp around your throat.

Bucky sits up, eyes filled with rage and intensity and nothing soft like the Bucky you had come to know. His hand was squeezing you so hard, too hard. He moves into a menacing crouch and slowly presses you back onto the pavement, hulking form hovering above you. You were barely able to breathe, and the skin of your neck was getting pinched between the metallic segmentation of his hand.

I'm not zapping him, was the only bizarre thought that comes to your mind before you start to see spots, and you're strangely proud. You stare into those intent, flat, grey eyes, your own eyes bulging.

“B-Bucky…” you manage to whisper as your hand finds his face, cupping it softly and shakily in an odd and nearly comical mirror of what he was doing to you. And you see, or you think you see his pupils return to their regular size for just a moment. You see, or you think you see, confusion and horror flit across his face. You feel, or you think you feel, his metal arm, his lobster arm, recoil and flinch away from your neck, letting you go. You feel, or you think you feel, the whisper of his chocolatey breath on your cheek as he gasps your name. And, as you stare through a long, long tunnel, you think you see a red and blue shield slam into the side of Bucky's face, the resounding clang the last thing you hear before the tunnel closes, and you succumb to the darkness.

**********************************************

You're home, wandering through the rooms, picking up old toy dinosaurs and making them fight each other before getting distracted by a book on the ground. You flip through the cheerful, bright pages and try to sound out the words when you hear a soft voice calling your name.

You drop the book, the dinosaurs, everything, to follow the voice, glimpsing the sticker on your chubby hand and smiling at it.

You find your mother in her rocking chair and she smiles warmly at you, calling for you to crawl onto her lap. You joyfully toddle over to her and clamber onto her, snuggling happily into her. She sings that old tune to you, and you see the hand with the sticker pat her swollen, drum belly. You hear her laugh at your childish comment about getting fat. She smiles down at you, saying your name affectionately, and patting her big belly with you, saying something about your family getting a little bigger soon. You don't really understand it and she picks up your little hand and kisses it before placing it on her cheek, looking into your eyes lovingly.

Then she gasps.

As you look up into her eyes, you see them blanch, her smile falling from her face as she stares at you in horror. You're confused, and she stands quickly, sending you tumbling to the ground when her knees buckle, sending her to the carpet beside you. You crawl over to her, putting your hand on her face again and she reaches up to smack it away, whites of her eyes showing as she screams.

You pull away in fear, only for her suddenly fall completely silent. After a minute, you come closer to her again, and she stares back at you. She just stares at you, the burn of a small handprint left on her cheek, jagged purple lines spreading like lightning into her face and neck. Only still, blank, horror on her face. She does blink, she doesn't breathe. She doesn't move.

She never moves again.

**********************************************

Your eyes fly open. You're gasping for air, heart pounding as you frantically take in your surroundings. White walls. White sheets. Saline bag. IV. Everything cold, sterile.

Infirmary.

You become aware of pain emanating from your throat, and you reach up to feel layers of bandages under a brace.

Tears flood your eyes as you're swarmed with the memories of what happened. Bucky, getting zapped twice. The hate that was splayed so fiercely on his beautiful face.

So similar the the horror you saw on your mother's lovely features the day you killed her and your unborn brother.

So very similar to the rage and disgust that never left your father's face after he found you, hours later, after coming home from work.

“Stop it,” you whisper fiercely to yourself. “Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop it.” But your own harsh words had no impact on you as your hot tears stream down your face and into your bandages, stinging the wounds there. You reach up and feel the brace again, almost thankful for it now.

You deserved to be hurt like this.

You deserved it.

You deserved it.

You deserved it.

“Oh my God!” A voice interrupts your thoughts and three pairs of feet run toward you. You feel Bruce's gentle hands pull your hands away from where they had been scratching at your neck, and you feel Tony's hands cradle your head and stop you from where you had been smacking it against the bed frame, thumb lingering on the bruise you had given yourself on your temple and cheekbone.

“Is she having a seizure or something?” Tony's angry voice asks anyone who could answer him.

“No,” Bruce and Wanda answer at the same time.

“Sh, shhhh, sweetheart,” Tony soothes as you struggle to free yourself from his grip.

“Wanda!” Bruce snaps.

“She wants to hurt herself,” Wanda's thick accent replied, the shock echoing through her voice. Your tears blur your vision, but you can see her standing at the foot of the bed, looking horrified. “You need to sedate her. Now.”

Your limbs feel heavy, and Tony has your face tucked into his chest, rocking you slightly. You try to tell him what you could do, how he needed to get away before you hurt him, but your tongue was too slow.

“Dony… Dony..” You manage to slur out before the medication overwhelms you and pulls you again into blissful darkness.

**********************************************

The next time you open your eyes, it's daytime. The brace is gone, but the bandages remain. Pretty sunlight streams in through the soft, mesh curtains, and Wanda is sitting next to you, softly holding your hand. She's already looking at your face, probably knowing you were waking up.

You blink at her, then pull your hand away and stare at the place the vase full of flowers meets the bedside table.

“Hey,” Wanda starts.

“Don't,” is your only reply. “And get out of my head.”

She sighs. “I'm sorry, Tony has ordered me to monitor you.”

You clench your teeth and glare harder at the bottom of the vase.

“Are you going to tell anyone about what's going through your mind?”

“Are you?” You shoot back.

“Maybe,” she says sadly, the music of her accent hitting a minor key. “Those thoughts you have… You need to find a way to stay strong. You are not to blame. I can see--”

“What can you see, Wanda?” You snap at her, finally turning your face to meet her hazel eyes and give her a hard stare. “Just because you can read my mind doesn't mean you know anything about me.”

She purses her lips.

“I know you blame yourself for everything that has ever happened to you. I know you feel like you deserve all the tragedy and pain. I know that you're thinking of hurting yourself,” her voice catches lightly in her throat. “I cannot let you do that, my friend.”

Tears don't come this time. You're too far gone for that. In its place is steely, hard, self loathing.

“I have to tell Tony that you need to see a professional for this.” She stands up, shoving her hands into her red jacket. She turns as she is in the doorframe, her skirt flaring out ever so slightly. “We love you. I know you don't accept that we can, but we do.” And she steps out.

Yeah, right.

As soon as you hear her steps at the bottom of the stairs, you sit up and yank the IV out of your arm, pressing your fingers against it to stem the bleeding. You stand up, wrapping the thin blanket from the bed around yourself, and stumble out of the infirmary.

You want to go to your room, and you don't know what you'll do once you're there. The cold steel that's iced over your heart doesn't want you anymore. Everyone here would be safer without you. You're a terrible Avenger, and a danger to everyone. You had tried to get it under control, and had even tried to be positive, and all you had done was hurt your friends.

As you're staggering by the lounge, you hear raised voices. You don't care about them at all until you hear your name.

“--Is not doing that,” Tony was saying loudly.

“Maybe you should ask her what she wants!” Steve replies.

“I CANNOT believe what I am hearing! You want to PUT HER AT RISK for the sake of--”

“I think the risk is minimal! She's strong, she can take care of herself--”

“Like how she took care of herself three days ago? When your pal, the terminator, practically squeezed--”

“He let go, Tony! Don't you see what a breakthrough that is--?”

“Aren't you supposed to be CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA?!” Tony bellowed. “AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO PROTECT PEOPLE?!”

Cap was silent.

“I. Would never. Risk. Her.” Tony harshes out between his teeth.

“I'm saying we can minimize it. He's a member of the team--”

“No,” Tony whispered angrily. “He's not. He's gone on a couple missions with us on a trial basis and I TOLD YOU IF SOMETHING HAPPENED HE WOULD--” Tony suddenly get shrill again before you hear yourself interrupt him.

“What's going on?” You ask, stepping into the lounge.

They both stare at you, in your hospital gown and scrub bottoms, a small trickle of blood running down your arm and a blanket around your shoulders.

“Nothing,” Tony says, trying to sound light and giving Steve a pointed stare. “Let's get you back to the infirmary… “

Steve stares back at him before blurting, “Bucky says that when you zap him, he remembers more.”

“GODDAMN IT ROGERS!” Tony shrieks. Then, turning to you. “His little. Pet,” he practically spits. “Gets some of his precious memories back when you touch his arm, and Rogers here thinks it would be a GOOD, SAFE AND REASONABLE IDEA IF--”

“If you would be willing to help him recover more of his memories with your electricity,” Steve finishes quietly, face turned to the ground. His eyes flick up to yours. “I know it's a lot to ask, Sparks. And it's your decision. But Bucky remembers detail about Hydra, now. And he remembers his first girlfriend. And he's so much more Bucky than he has been for so long--”

“It's out of the question, Rogers,” Tony snarls through gritted teeth. But you're staring at Steve, the ice in your chest melting painfully.

“I don't want to send him into torture flashbacks. He's my friend,” you reply, skeptical and hesitant at the prospect that you could use your powers to help someone, to help Bucky.

“I'm not going to pretend that's not going to happen,” Steve says, stepping closer to you. “But it's part of what he's lived through. The more we can work out his memories, the better he'll recover,” his brow furrows as he looks down again and then back into your eyes. “It's so much to ask,” is all he is able to say as a conclusion.

“You would really do anything for that thing, wouldn't you?” Tony hisses from behind him, jaw clenching as Steve turns and meets his eyes.

“Yes,” you reply. Steve's head turns quickly as he stares at you in disbelief. “Yes, Tony,” you continue. “I would.”

________________________________________

Just Friends Tag List!

@buttercup337 @potc-lover @ani808 @mala-firebringer @queenofstarliqht @valiantlyironree @cfloyd776 @waywardpumpkin @itsshelbygates

[tumblunni]

Randomly a list of ships i ships

Cos i dont think ive ever written it down? I've probably forgot some from older fandoms.

Jupiter x Looker or Jupiter x Mars (pokemon dppt) oddly she's the only one of team galactic i ship anyone with!

Dia and Pearl (dppt manga: pokemon adventures version)

Steven and wallace, maxie and archie (pokemon rse) these are my ships with the most canon evidence so far!

Lillie x protag (pokemon sun and moon)

Oikawa and Cody's dad (digimon season 2) ALSO CLOSE TO CANON YO! It makes his whole plot even sadder if you read him as he's in love with his best friend but never confessed and then had to watch him die shortly after marrying someone else...

Oh and also ken and davis from the same season because SERIOUSLY 'our hearts beat as one' when their digimon unlock a new rainbow sfx fusion transformation

Alphys and Undyne from undertale are EVERYTHING GOOD IN RELATIONSHIPS

Protag daughter x Cube (princess maker)

Protag x Yosuke (persona 4) FUN FACT in this case we have actual proof the creators copped out on making it canon, there's fully voiced dual language audio for a scrapped romance route. But instead they ditched it and then the next game in the series was somehow also empty of lgbt options and also regressively homophobic all over the place...

SPEAKING OF WHICH yusuke and protag from persona 5. Srsly wtf why does this guy have such a similar name when theyre nothing alike? Aside from the fact poor yusuke is way more out about his sexuality and gets to be the butt of a million jokes...

Protag x ellen, protag x victoria, the hypothetical polyamourous triad of all the witch girls that exists within my heart (magical diary)

Maka x Crona, black star x soul (soul eater)

Chrom x specifically male protag (fire emblem awakening) female protag version is actually canon but i always HATED how her scenes with him are all cliche anime 'whoops fell into boobs' and 'nobody likes a woman who doesnt cook'. Male protag route is infinately more romantic just cos it actually shows their personalities! I mean if they both had the same dialogue just like most other scenes, i woulda been fine with the fem protag romance geez..

Virion x Panne (also fire emblem awakening) i have no idea why this obscure pairing grasped my heart and why more people dony like it! I like it cos panne snipes back at virion and takes none of his shit like sully, but without the whole 'girl who says she doesnt love him in the first scene eventually loves him if he keeps wearing her down' thing. And i like all the interesting cultural exchange that comes from a really pompous nobleman clashing with a rough and tumble stern fighter from an ancient lost lineage of lapinthropes. I dunno, his development into appreciating women just seems more genuine when you have this sort of auxilary sign that he's changed. He's willing to drop his pompousness and go on a big mountainclimbing adventure just to get her a traditional courtship flower amoungst her people! And its really adorable to see that like.. Its his first time ever getting nervous around a woman, cos this time the feelings are genuine instead of just lust and nothing else. And it was hilarious that he tried to get drunk to get over his fears, and then he fumbled the confession because of it! They have so many great sarcasm battle scenes, its hilarious AND adorable! Oh man and the scene where they actually got really emotional and panne talked about hoping her dead family is watching from the moon, and virion being vunerable about his past and just... AAA its such an unexpectedly good couple for such wildly different charries!!

Avery x Mason (hustle cat) mason is the most badass lady ever holy shit everyone should date her and she should lift them all over her head and maybe seven cars. She's a biker gang badass and a super cake chef and can turn into a cat and just EVERYTHING IS PERFECT ABOUT THIS CHARACTER THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

Husky and Cooro (+anima) i know theyre just kids but i totally get a precocious crush vibe from cooro, and like it only ever seems that husky gets embarassed over 'but what will everyone think' rather than because he doesn't like him. And husky has a lot of issues with internalized 'i need to be super manly' type anxieties and all.

Quale and Quan (ff9) okay i guess not really a ship but a past ship? I kinda saw them as a toriel and asgore type divorced couple from how stuttery and awkward quale is about how quan left and betrayed qu society. Headcanon that really it was more like 'my boyfriend wants to go adventuring and i wanna stay and live in this safe town, and he decided that adventure was more inportant than me'. I prefer this headcanon cos really neither of them would be at fault here, yknow? Complexity! Also grandpas shipping! Both great things!

Cloud and barret (ff7) cmon yo they have a load of chemistry and have so much in common backstory wise and in terms of putting up a grumpy front and being scared of letting themselves ever love again. And barret is the handsomest character in the game! And he's super tormented and in need of love just ss much as vincent geez, even if he isnt a funky fashion vampire. But he's a BIG HUGS BEAR MAN!! And he has a sweet little daughter! And there's several opportunities for cloud to act nice to marlene and seriously imagine him as a dad!! And barret even does get a 'date' with cloud if you play the game super precisely to unlock that easter egg but its clearly meant to be a joke and all. I hope maybe they could make it more legit in the remake now we're in an era of more lgbt representation and all. Also i feel bad but i never felt any chemistry between cloud and any of the female characters? It seemed like tifa was intended to be his canon love interest and all but i never liked it, and i never felt anything more than bffs with him and aerith. Plus aerith and zack is classic sweet star torn lovers! And then literally no clue why people ship him with yuffie and elena from the turks (???) Try barret sometime. We need more barret fanart in general, even of nobody else likes this ship! Appreciate him!!

Bebop and Rocksteady (ninja turtles) look, 6 year old me wanted them to get married before i even learned that That Thing Is Supposed To Be A Man And A Woman Under God or whatever. Proof that lgbt headcanons of children's media arent just 'adults polluting innocent things'. (Srsly what is that logic? A man and a woman kissinh isnt too sexual for tv but a gay kiss is?) Anyway these weird trash mutants were good together, courtesy of the ancient small me of the past.

[brianyololau]

October 6th, 2020

I have something to admit... I didn’t get on the waitlist for this October and I’m starting school at the end of January. Big suck and idk what to tell my family. I think I’m going to lie to them and keep grinding learning as much as I can and putting energy into myself. A part of me tells me this isn’t the right thing to do, but my mom would not react to this well at all. I don’t want her to feel like I’m not doing anything with my life because I am. Without my introspective and growth mindset, I wouldn’t be where I am today. In fact, I’d probably be chasing a dream with no purpose. I’d be living in what I thought was my dream. My true desires are to grow, build, and cultivate a lasting and wealthy life for myself as well as the people around me. My passions remain the same, but my path is not easy. I admit. Pursuing a double career and learning to grow is hard especially when you dont have an emotionally supportive environment. All you got is yourself, but that’s the beauty of it. From when I was a kid till now, I’ve always relied on and believed in myself. I just didn’t fully realize it because I was chasing other people’s dreams and what I thought was my own. Now, I know. It’s simple, but I gotta overcome myself to trump my challenges. That’s what it takes to be my own boss. I’m confident that I can. I want it. Nothing happens to anyone that he is not fitted by nature to bear.

Not sure if I wrote about Andy’s bday dinner yet, but I’ll just express my thoughts here. That night, I realized that Dony was right and my suspicions of Eric were true. He is a narcissist and he’s entitled to his ego. That’s something I couldn’t get him to see because of his defensive mechanisms: gaslighting, lying, and aggression. As a friend, I feel bad for not being able to accomplish my hopes in helping him, but how could I when he’s such a pathological person who can’t tell the difference between kindness and disrespect? Before I decided to choose to ultimately side w Dony over both of them, I kept believing in Eric knowing that if I could stoop to his level of extreme authoritarian communication, challenging his idea of a successful man with fucking testosterone boosted dialect, he’d understand, but whyyy the hell should I? That’s not of me to adjust my world to fit his. Why should I accept his POV if he can’t even acknowledge mine? “I know it’s not right, but from where I’m from...” boy stfu. idgaf where ur from. If i smack the shit outchu u and tell u to fuck off for getting personal w me and then say it’s normal for me, anyone should be walking away from that. it doesn’t justify shit. None of it can actually and none of what I try and do for u will get through to your head if you cant see that for urself. and quite frankly, no one wants to put ur stupid ass down bc everyone knows you’ll just get uncontrollably mad again and fight back  just to save face. Gaslighting ass. I cant believe I gave him this much sympathy and let all these accounts slide. Besides, what kind of real friend doesn’t try to acknowledge and take into consideration someone else’s opinion? Especially if he was being real w u? His ego got to him and he didn’t even realize the two brothers who stuck w him the most were the ones he turned his back on. Who would’ve thought? but honestly, we should’ve seen that one coming. I was wrong about Eric. It took a conscious effort to see it. That boy sus.

Anyways, I finished reading Way of the Wolf. Really good content on how to improve sales presentations and smooth conversions. Though the book is tailored towards 1 on 1 sales, I plan on applying these concepts I learned into affiliate marketing. I learned about rapport building, state management, advanced tonality and body language, looping, prospecting, taking control of the sale, intelligence gathering, script making, and the Straight Line elements. It was pretty hard to finish the last 20%. It got less interesting as I began reading about scripts and loops probably since I won’t be significantly applying that to myself atm. It definitely fortified my assumptions on how to approach sales though.

I’ve also noticed that my mind has very slightly expanded from reading. It’s as though my processing and idea conveying is more efficient. It might also be bc reading triggers parts of the brain that u dont use often, but damn how I wish I could etch everything I read into my mind and apply it right away, but I just learned that reading is not enough to learn. I also have to apply it for that’s when information is transcribed to knowledge. My brain can’t just be a library of information. If I don’t how to use the information and make use of it, all I’ve learned would just be theory! Got that off of a Quora post today. The person who answered it said he created a 30 day log where he experimented on the concepts he learned and could apply. By the end of it, he integrated the knowledge into his life and made noticeable changes. I found it interesting bc it’s true. Applied knowledge is power, not just knowledge. So, now, I’m starting my own logs to see how that goes. I’ll update on this later on. 

Bruh I just saw the older post about me being mad about my family. I was so wrong. I learned that there are two sides to every story and before I judge one side, I have to consider the other. Why? because ppl have different experiences and can purposely lie. Found out that Bao’s mom was a helluva a cheater the whole time and lied to her daughters to skew the story to her perspective as the heroine. Truth be told, there were no heroes, my family included. None, but this is a story that has to be resolved by Anh and Bao themselves. It’s not for me to act like I know and can solve this conflict myself. only right that I help them see for themselves. boy when the time comes though, it’s about to get real

[nananaptime]

Infatuated

I just need everyone to know that I love this man to bits <3

Masterlist Rules

Not requested

Genre: Idol au, fluff

Word count: 2 512

Summary: Idol life has never been more demanding and it gets even more difficult when love nestles its way into your life in the blink of an eye.

Exhaustion. That’s what was etched into my body at the moment, just a few minutes before it was time to go on stage. around me, the rest of my members were either drinking coffee to get some extra energy or going through dance steps in a corner to determine success. As the leader of my group, I found it hard to be a supportive rock 24/7 when all the practice and lack of sleep almost left be unable to take care of myself, let alone five other people whom I had taken under my wings. I had always been like that, helping others the best I can and thinking of myself in second hand, that behaviour was now rewarding me with its consequences.

“Y/N-ssi, are you okay? You don’t look too good.” My best friend, Jisoo, walked up to me with a concerned look on her face. She had always been good at noticing my hardships, more often than not before someone else.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get that much sleep tonight.” she nodded understandingly and I realised in that moment how happy I was that I wasn’t doing this alone, I always had someone to talk to and lean on, even as the leader. More wasn't said before one of the staff members came up to us and told us to stand by while handing us the microphones. The usual nervous feeling settled in my stomach as I waved the others over and proceeded to give them a pep talk. Encouraging them to do their best and not worry too much, I noticed the attention of someone else was on me but before I had the chance to figure out who had decided to inspect me we were ushered on stage. Pushing the thought out of my head, I took my spot in the middle of the formation, stance ready as I waited for our comeback song to start.

The three and a half minutes we were on stage felt like only a second, I would keep going forever if I had the choice. With huge smiles on our faces, we exited the stage and walked back towards our waiting room, the other members discussing the audience and our performance with great enthusiasm. A fond smile made it’s way to my faces as I walked at the back, admiring the energy of my group, when I heard my name being called. Turning around, I was faced with the sight of none other than Byun Baekhyun waving me over to the area in which he was standing. Confusion overcame me as I made my way over to him, leaving my members to their own business. It wasn’t until I was right in front of him that I noticed the man sitting on a chair by his side.

“Y/N! Wah, you’ve improved so much since I last saw you perform, I have to say.” I smiled at the unexpected compliment and thanked him sincerely. “And it’s the first time I’ve heard you rap, it’s not usual to find someone who can both sing and rap, are you… Jongdae, stop staring at her like that!” Jongdae, who had been sitting quietly in the chair, jumped a bit at the sudden accusation and looked at his best friend with a hesitant gaze.

“Like what?” the question came out slowly as if he dreaded the answer he would receive.

“Like you want to marry her!” Jongdae’s ears instantly heated up and he let out an unnecessary loud laugh and started lightly slapping his Baekhyun’s arm.

“What, what are you saying, I’m not.” Baekhyun just waved his protests away and returned his attention to me in order to continue the small talk while Jongdae avoided eye contact with me and eventually stood up to go see what Minseok was up to. He received a scoff from Baekhyun at his decision but left anyway. At that time I realised that I had been gone for more than ten minutes and should probably head back towards my own group. With that in mind, I said goodbye to Baekhyun and started heading towards the waiting rooms in which, once I arrived at the one belonging to me, I told Jisoo all about my interaction. A squeal left her mouth before she expressed her jealousy of not being able to meet them as well as they were very popular sunbaes and were probably full of useful advice. I told her that no advice was given but that the casual conversation had been nice. She left it at that and together with the other members we made our way back to the dorm.

The day after we all woke up to my dorm mates running all around the area, checking their clothes, their hair and whatnot. Not exactly the best way to wake up if I’ll say so myself. With a groan. I realised that my sleep was disrupted enough for me to get up and actually get ready. After having a shower and eating breakfast I was still the first one done. Standing by the door, ready to leave any minute, I placed my fingers between my lips and whistled loud enough for all of them to hear and pause for a moment.

“Is anyone even remotely ready?” they looked at each other at my question and I knew that they were ready, but also extremely nervous. “Guys, I know that this is our first time on a variety show but as long as we are the usual wonderful selves we are, everything will be fine. Also, Doni and Coni are very good at keeping a conversation going, so let’s go, we don’t want to be late.” with the knowledge that I calmed their nerves at least a little bit, I walked out of the dorm and entered the van. Not shortly after was I joined with my members and then we were off to our first ever variety show participation.

Right before being introduced to the viewers, we received the knowledge of having another group there with us and, not knowing which one, my excitement hit the roof. Not only was this my favourite variety show, but the surprise of another group made the whole interaction aspect even greater. Receiving a hilarious introduction, we entered the white set and lined up beside Doni and Coni and, after their usual signal, introduced ourselves as well. After speaking a bit of our new album and explaining and showing our comeback song we were finally going to find out who our co-starring group was. My mouth fell wide open when Exo entered the set, in a very cheerful and energetic manner, and lined up on the other side of the MCs. I laughed as they introduced themselves with usual ‘Hi I’m ___ with the power of ___.’ Their pain was evident in their expressions as they had to suffer sticking with their unusual concept. Having watched their previous weekly idols, I had to contain a second fit of laughter as they were once again asked to demonstrate their powers as the CG had been improved since their last appearance. Watching Jongdae trying to control imaginary lightning was always a sight for the eyes, and even better when it happened right in front of you.

Past all the random power talk we were going into the segment of answering live phone calls from fans all over the world. The first one being one very hysterical female, almost crying into the phone she was using. I didn’t catch much of what she had requested but Doni and Coni seemed to have been able to make something out of it nonetheless.

“Who is the main vocal in this group?” Coni gestured towards us as he asked the question and I raised my hand. With a nod of confirmation, he turned toward Exo and asked the same question whereas three members, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Jongdae, raised their hands. Experiencing a slight dilemma Coni asked them to play a game of rock, paper, scissors, in order to choose one member. With a scream once he realised he won the game, Jongdae stood up from the chair, doing a victory dance, causing us all to laugh, even though he had no idea what he had been picked for.

“Okay, you two, take your chairs and place them facing each other in front of us.” doing as we were told, Jongdae and I was soon sitting face to face in the middle of the set. “It is time to have the requested high note battle.”

“Wait what.” I laughed at how ridiculous this sounded. “No one will ever be able to beat Kim Jongdae in a high note battle,” I said, pointing at the man in front of me. My members were laughing at my outburst and I couldn’t help but laugh along.

“He’ll get too distracted by you so you’ll be able to beat him easily.” Jongdae turned around in his chair to glare at Sehun so quick I thought he was going to have a whiplash. The rest of the Exo members laughed extremely hard at the bullying of their beagle and Jongdae had no other choice but to suck up their treatment and focus on the task at hand. Once everyone had calmed down the game began and him being a gentleman asked me to start. We went on for a while when something very odd happened which I never in my life would expect, especially not from Kim Jongdae. His voice cracked. The set erupted in complete chaos as everyone started laughing so hard that they fell off their chairs or had to fling themselves at the wall in the fits of hysteria. Jongdae was sitting in the chair with his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking, indicating that he was laughing along with the others. I had to quietly ask myself how one human being could be so adorable and precious, no answer came to mind.

“I told you he would be distracted.” Sehun’s comment caused Jongdae to stand from his chair and chase his maknae around, promising consequences thanks to his comments. Unfortunately, since Sehun is taller than Jongdae he was also faster so it didn’t take long until Jongdae gave up his pursuit and took his chair back to its original spot.

During the rest of the filming, I didn’t have to look at Jongdae to know that his full attention was on me rather than the series of events going on around him. I wasn’t the only one who noticed this as Doni at one point had to snap his fingers in front of Jongdae’s face in order to bring him back to reality. To say that I was flattered was an understatement but never would I have suspected that he would find me after the filming was over and ask me out on a date.

“Wait, what?” he laughed at my lack of any intelligent response as he repeated the question.

“I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me. Tomorrow, if you’re free?” the shock left me unable to form a coherent sentence so all I could do was nod which caused his Cheshire smile to break out on his face as he happily said he would see me tomorrow and then he was on his way. For a while, I stood there, frozen from the fact that one of my ultimate role models had asked me out. It wasn’t until Jisoo came to get me that I realised that this may not be a good thing after all. I was an idol, he was an idol, we both had crazy lives with little to no free time at all and a lot of fans who may react in a negative way to a dating scandal. The feeling of regret was invading my body as the consequences of the decision dawned on me. Jisoo, on the other hand, found the idea to be exciting, she liked the concept of two people in love, sneaking around and trying to conceal their love from the public eye. I assured her that there would be no sneaking and if it ended with Jongdae and me becoming a couple I thought the fans had the right to know about it.

The next day came quicker than I had wanted and this time I was the one running around the dorm in panic. My members found the whole situation hilarious as they never had seen me in this state before. Before I knew it, I was out the door, on my way to the restaurant Jongdae had mentioned to me the day before. He was already there, waiting patiently for my appearance. Once he saw me he complimented the way I looked and took hold of my hand before leading me into the restaurant.

“I’m sorry by the way.” the apology took me by surprise as we sat down at our designated table and looked over the menus.

“What for?”

“You’ve probably noticed my staring, I just can’t contain myself, you’re too beautiful not to look at.” I blushed at his comment and continued looking over the food.

“You’re very good looking as well, Jongdae. Just know I had a hard time containing my own stares.” the smile that I’ve grown to love made it’s way to his face as he took in my compliment. “However, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea that we’re dating.” it was hard to ignore the surprise evident on his face as he realised what I was saying.

“What, why?”

“It’s just that you’re on the top of your career, and I’m only starting to enter the kpop realms, I’m not sure if either of us is at a stage where we can afford a scandal.” I knew he understood my concern, he had to, he had been in this business for way too long not to have realised that himself. He closed his menu and looked me straight in the eyes with a soft smile on his face.

“I don’t want to let our career get in the way of either yours or my happiness. We won’t be singers and performers for the rest of our lives but love will always be there, I don’t plan on letting anyone slip away while I’m living my dream. What if I’m too caught up in all the spotlights that I don’t see my soulmate come and go. The fans will get over it and more likely than not grow to love the beautiful relationship I hope we’ll form. The thing is that I’m completely and utterly crazy about you and I can’t stay away, you’re impossible to resist. So, even if the consequences are big, I think you’re worth the risk. Do you think I am?” not many people have been able to convince me something other than my opinion, so I was surprised at myself when I found myself being persuaded.

He was worth it.

He was worth it all.