#in search of community and understanding no doubt

[majedalgherbawi]

My name is Majed Al-Gharabawi, and I am from Gaza. My family and I endured 188 days of continuous war, where every moment was filled with uncertainty and fear. Despite holding on to hope, our home was bombed, leaving us with nowhere to go. We were forced to make the painful decision to flee to Egypt in search of safety.

We left everything we knew behind—our home, which no longer exists, our community, and many of our loved ones who couldn't escape due to the ongoing conflict in Rafah. The journey was difficult, filled with tears and anxiety about those we left behind, but we had no other choice.💔

Upon arriving in Egypt, we found ourselves in a new struggle—starting from scratch. Without a home, without income, and without security, our focus now is on securing a safe place for my family, ensuring my children continue their education, and meeting our basic needs.

Unfortunately, the fundraising campaign I launched is moving very slowly, and we haven't been able to raise even a quarter of the needed amount. Time is not on our side, and every day the situation becomes more difficult, especially with the increasing basic needs we can no longer afford.

I'm working hard to document my campaign and have reached out to the people who verify campaigns, and I'm waiting to hear back. However, there are those who checked my campaign here. The campaign is new, and I am also new to using this platform, so I am learning every day how to improve it and reach more people who can help.

In Gaza, we lost everything, and the future seemed bleak. But I believe in the kindness and generosity of others. This is why I created this campaign—to ask for your help in rebuilding our lives. The funds we raise will be used to secure a home, educate my children, and meet our basic needs that we can no longer afford.😔

I understand that many may doubt the legitimacy of such campaigns, and I respect that. I want to assure you that our situation is real, and the need is urgent. Any support you can provide, whether by donating or sharing our story, will make a significant difference in our lives.

We have faced indescribable hardships, but with your help, we can find a path to stability and hope once again. Thank you for taking the time to read our story and for considering supporting our journey to a better life.🙏🏼❤️🤍💚🖤

Majed and his family

[froody]

every month someone makes a post like “wow, I can’t believe there are gay rednecks. can’t believe there are gay people living in the rural Midwest or Deep South.” kill the classist in your brain

[chemicalarospec]

.

[copperbadge]

Let's Talk About Missing Persons

So, I've seen this post circulating last week, and a few others like it in the past year. I think this probably needs to be discussed every few years, and it feels like time.

First, a few caveats: there are reports on the post that Abby has been located and is fine, so no need to reblog and also that's great news, I'm very happy she is safe. Second, I did not especially doubt the veracity of the post, so I'm not impugning the people who made and posted it, but I also declined to reblog it for reasons I'll get into. Third, I know that especially in marginalized communities it can be dangerous to involve the police, and that Missing White Woman Syndrome means it can be difficult to get media coverage. I understand why Abby's community may have chosen to search for her in the way they did.

However, for everyone's safety, I do not link any missing persons post that requires you to contact an individual to report the missing person's whereabouts. If the poster doesn't ask you to contact the police or a known missing persons organization, I won't do it.

This is for the safety of the missing person.

When you see a post with someone's photo, name, and last known whereabouts, and you are asked to contact an individual -- a family member, partner, friend, etc -- what you are being asked to do is report on the whereabouts of one person you don't know to another person you don't know. You don't know that the person you're talking to isn't an abusive partner or parent, a stalker, or a person who means them material harm. One of the Insta accounts in the missing image doesn't appear to exist, and another has no bio and very little captioning on their images. I couldn't verify that Abby even knew these people.

Again: when I looked at the image, it looked sincere to me. I didn't doubt those people were earnestly searching for a friend they were worried about. But also, an abuser doesn't look like an abuser until they do. So I don't make exceptions, because a missing person is missing but a victim outed to their abuser has strong odds of being murdered. The most dangerous time in the life of an abused person is when they are leaving their abuser. Even if a victim simply logs on to say "Hey, I'm fine, these people mean me harm" the abuser has now flushed them out of hiding, and manipulated them into making a public statement.

If you can't verify positively that the person searching does not mean the missing person harm, you should not be circulating a post, full stop. At the very least, if the community doesn't wish for the help of the police (understandable) or can't get the help of an organization or community (frequent), the missing persons poster should advise you to speak to the missing person, not the searcher, and notify them they're being sought, as long as it's safe for both you and them to do so.

This isn't intuitive. We want to help, and search posters like that tug on the heartstrings. We know that when the police get involved even in something this innocuous, it can be perilous for everyone. But in situations where someone is so vulnerable, we have to concern ourselves first with harm reduction, which in this case means not spreading someone's photo with a stranger's contact information on it.

I'm glad Abby was found and is fine and that her searchers were in earnest. But that will not always be the case, and it's important to remember that.

[brokenmenswhore]

Hi! Are you planning on writing a part 2 to Lessons? It was too good 🥵

lessons | aegon ii targaryen

part 2

pairing: aegon targaryen x fem!reader

summary: in search on the streets of silk for your husband, you find his brother in a compromising position

warnings: this is almost pure smut (MDNI 18+)

a/n: just wanted to say i’ve been treated to kindly and accepted into this community so wonderfully and so fast. you’ve all restored my faith in humanity. happy to have a place to be horny and angsty and feral without judgement :)

part 1

────── ☾ ──────

Aemond was not in attendance for breakfast. You apologized to Alicent, lying that you had forgotten he had told you he was traveling to Harrenhall first thing.

The truth was, you and Aegon returned to the Red Keep immediately after your rendezvous in the Street of Silk, and you had completely forgotten about Aemond until you arrived to breakfast and were asked about his absence.

“Not to worry,” Alicent smiled, “that boy is impossible, is he not?”

You laughed in response, “that he is.”

Breakfast was pleasant, apart from the constant staring from Aegon. You could tell he was still worked up, and coming back to the Red Keep meant he had to attend to his duties as King, which meant he had to wait.

And Aegon did not like waiting.

About mid-day, you were in the library with your handmaiden, when a member of the King’s Guard came to fetch you.

“His Grace has requested an audience with you in his chambers, My Lady,” he spoke.

You looked at him, confused. “It is but midday.”

The man in armor sighed. “Yes, My Lady.”

“Should he not be working?” you pressed.

“He says this is work related, My Lady.”

You knew better, but you also knew better than to deny your king.

You were escorted to Aegon’s apartment, not bothering to knock before you pushed the double doors open.

“Aegon, it is the middle of the day,” you said, watching as he turned around at the sound of your voice.

“God, finally, you take fucking forever,” he said, marching up to you and grabbing your waist, pulling your body against his as he enveloped you in a heated kiss.

You giggled, “could this not wait until late?”

Aegon continued to pepper kisses around your face and down your neck. “No,” he whined, “need you now. Waited long enough already.”

“Then why didn’t we just- shit, Aegon did you just bite me?” He just laughed in response and continued bruising your neck. “Why didn’t we just stay out then?”

“And face,” kiss, “the wrath,” kiss, “of my mother? Absolutely not,” kiss, “too risky.”

“‘Tis more risky to be caught by your mother away from the castle than to fornicate with your brother’s wife inside of it?”

Aegon paused for a moment and looked up at you. Suddenly, a hand was around your throat, as Aegon roughly pushed you into a wall.

“You’re mine, you know that? You aren’t his. I don’t care if you’re wed,” he pulled one of your legs up to his waist, granting him access to violently shove a finger inside of you, “I’m the one making you feel like this. In private, you’re mine.”

You cried out at the intrusion of his finger, hips bucking forward as you squirmed.

His hand moved from your throat, only for a brief moment, to slap your cheek.

“Do you understand?”

“Y- yes, My King.”

“Good girl.”

Aegon used both hands to grip under your thighs, lifting you up until your legs were wrapped around him, and carrying you over to the bed, slamming your back down on the side of it.

“Easy, Aeg.”

Aegon let out a growl at the nickname, “you want me to go easy on you? Is that it? You want me to be nice?” he questioned, “or do you want me to fuck you like you so desperately need to be fucked?”

This filthy words took you by surprise, despite your intimate position.

“I, I don’t-“

Aegon’s eyes searched yours for any sense of doubt at your current predicament. “We don’t have to do this, you know.”

“No! I want to, I do, I just- I’ve only actually done this once, and it wasn’t anything like what I saw today.”

Aegon’s cock hardened at your innocence. Even though you were wed to his brother, your body was his, and your pleasure would now be his and his only.

“Tell me if anything hurts,” was all Aegon said before he ripped your clothes off, doing the same for himself, and crawling on top of you.

“Is this what he did, hm? Is this all he taught you?” he asked, jealousy present as he slowly inserted himself into you, bottoming out and watching your face as you adjusted to his size, “did he get to see you like this? All pretty and teary-eyed? Did he make you feel like this?”

“No,” you whimpered.

Aegon began to move slowly, treating you as if you still had your maidenhood, wanting to warm you up before potentially hurting you.

You sighed and moaned lightly, throwing your head back and allowing Aegon to bite at your neck and shoulder again. “Mine.”

You clawed at his back, the feeling becoming too sweet, wanting more but not too sure how to ask for it.

“What is it, angel?” he noticed your frustrations.

“More,” you pleaded.

He smiled, capturing your lips in a kiss and he began to thrust faster and faster into you.

“Tell me how it feels,” he commanded.

“G- good,” you responded, inarticulate as you’d ever been.

“Is this how Aemond makes you feel?” he spat.

“N- no,” you responded, “on-on- shit, only you.”

“Good girl,” he cooed, fucking you hard and fast, splitting you open on his cock.

“Aegon?” you caught his attention.

“Mhm?”

“I still feel like I want more,” you sighed out.

Aegon smiled, pulling out of you completely.

“That’s the opposite of m-“

Without warning, Aegon flipped your body, pulling your waist so your ass was against his hardness. His dominate hand reached over your back to press your head into the mattress as he inserted himself back into you, the new sensation from the position making you grow even wetter.

Aegon snapped his hips harshly, watching your entire body fold in half as you lost any strength that was keeping your upper body from going completely slack against the sheets. You cried out at the pleasure, Aegon’s hand finding its way to your hair, balling your hair into his fist as he tugged.

Your neck swung back, not getting the memo.

“Up,” he demanded, pulling even harder at your hair as you helped push yourself up so your back was flush against Aegon’s chest, his cock hitting another new angle.

One of his hands remained on your waist, holding you close, as the other wrapped around your throat, his lips kissing your shoulder.

“Shit, angel, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“Would you p- shit, would you please s-stop mentioning Aemond?” you asked, “don’t wanna t-hink about him. Only wanna t-hink ab-about you.”

Your words drove Aegon mad, his thrusts becoming even more erratic and harsh. “Is that what you think of when you feel like this, huh? You think about me?”

“Hm,” you hummed in response, having used all your energy to form your last sentence.

“No one else will ever make you feel like this,” he told you, not leaving any room for any question about it.

“Don’- don’t want anyone else,” you whined.

The hand around your throat found its way in between your legs, rubbing circles on your clit as you moaned out in pleasure.

“Filthy whore,” he spat, likening you the girls you had seen earlier that day, “you fucking love this, huh?”

Tears began to spill from your eyes from his words, as well as the feeling of his cock splitting you open and his hand working your clit. It was almost too much, but felt so, so good.

“Yes, M-My King.”

“You like being treated like those girls you saw today? Is that it? Poor baby just wants her king to split her open?”

His words made you moan, adding more to your pleasure.

He continued on, hitting a soft, spongy spot within you that felt like heaven.

A coil began to form inside of you, and Aegon could feel your walls tightening around him.

You pawed at him, unsure of what the feeling was, and nervous it meant something was wrong.

“Sh,” he purred, “it’s supposed to feel like that.”

You trusted him, allowing him to continue as the squeezing around his cock led him to his own high. His thrusts became particularly violent, causing the coil of tension to break within you as his seed spilled into you.

You threw your head back into his shoulder, attempting to catch your breath as Aegon stayed inside of you until his cock began to soften.

When he finally pulled out, you both crashed onto the mattress, his body staying close to yours as you finally calmed your breathing down.

“Did you, did you-“ you started, not sure how to phrase it.

“Don’t worry,” he caught your train of thought, “we’ll just get you some moon tea. You won’t end up with a bastard child.”

He completely forgot that you knew nothing about this stuff that he hadn’t already taught you. “What the hell is moon tea?”

[trillscienceofficer]

from Sci-Fi Universe magazine, October 1996

COLOR TELEVISION: DEEP SPACE NINE's colorblind perspective deserves credit for not being simply black and white entertainment

by Eric Wallace

Here's a story that may or may not be apocryphal: In 1967, Nichelle Nichols decided to leave Star Trek at the conclusion of the fledging show's first season. Soon after making this decision, Nichols met Dr. Martin Luther King while attending an NAACP fund-raiser. Upon learning of ner decision, Dr. King proclaimed, "You cannot leave. You're opening a door that simply must not be allowed to close." Dr. King went on to explain how Nichols' portrayal of Uhura demonstrated to Americans each week that blacks could live, work and prosper in racially-mixed situations. Consequently, Nichols changed her mind, and the rest is history.

Fast forward to 1996, twenty-eight years after Dr. King's assassination. I'd love to say that Nichols' decision resulted in a multitude of positive black roles on television. But I would be lying. Television reflects the society from which it springs and the fact is that blacks continue to be under-represented in positive, let alone leading, roles on American television.

Thank God for Deep Space Nine. Here is a show that not only features blacks in prominent supporting roles—Jake, Cassidy [sic] Yates, Worf—but has a black male star—Captain Benjamin Sisko. This is cause enough for celebration among black television viewers searching for positive portrayals of their own. But DS9's importance to the black community goes further.

From Good Times' JJ to Martin Lawrence on Martin, it is no secret that "the clown" is the most common image for blacks on television. "The gangsta" and "dope addict" run a close second. Limiting the entire black populace to these three images is not only offensive, but just plain false. This is not to say that black people aren't funny or that we aren't burdened by troublesome individuals. We are. But we're also much more: we are novelists, millionaires and world leaders like Alice Walker, Quincy Jones and Nelson Mandela. So where are these images in American programming? Not in most networks' prime-time line-ups. Perusing the latest copy of TV Guide will confirm this.

Instead of offering up more destructive stereotypes, DS9 boasts strong black characters who behave like genuine, complex, unique individuals. Charismatic, sympathetic and intelligent, these black characters function in ways that mere stereotypes never could by both expanding the sometimes constricted perception of non-black viewers towards racial minorities (thus facilitating communication and a better understanding between racial groups) and helping to inspire the previously-stated traits among their own viewers, thereby providing minority youths, specifically those living in impoverished or hostile environments, with positive role models. In regards to this last element, Sisko, a dynamic leader and caring parent, personifies this ideal.

The relationship between Sisko and his son, Jake, is one of the most satisfying aspects of DS9. Loving, emotionally mature, and far from perfect, their relationship reflects the tragedies and joys which constitute family life.

The pinnacle of the Sisko/Jake relationship (so far) is, without a doubt, The Visitor, a tour de force episode brimming with passion and melancholy. Watching this episode left me proud of the intensity of the love shown between this black father and son, and in tears at the eloquence with which the show handled the poignant and universal themes of disillusionment, obsession, aging, loyalty, love and loss.

Aside from The Visitor, DS9 regularly boasts touching moments of natural interaction between black father and son, all of which make the show a privilege to watch. Just some of these moments include Sisko's overt show of affection for his son, Jake's wisdom in helping his father deal with romantic troubles and the manner in which father and son nave helped each other cope with the death of Sisko's wife.

Some readers may not understand why am I making such a big deal about DS9. After all, science fiction has featured blacks in prominent roles for years. Let me be blunt. There is a word for programs which strategically place one minority character in their ensemble. It's called tokenism. Yes, tokenism fulfills the "visibility" quotient for black characters. However, it fails at the larger task of presenting black characters who possess emotional depth and resonance. Black characters without such traits are cyphers, hollow representations which belittle the true intellectual and emotional capabilities of blacks.

Program creators and viewers who point to token blacks as examples of racial progress inadvertently court cultural hypocrisy. Because token black characters are the norm to which non-black viewers are exposed, they are harmful and destructive road-blocks on the march towards racial equality.

DS9, in contrast, allows its black characters to deal with issues usually reserved for white characters in white-dominated prestige dramas like ER. These issues include: the sacrifice of putting duty before love (For The Cause), the pressures of command (To The Death), the joys of parenthood (Explorers) and even conquering the Earth (Our Man Bashir). White characters that clearly dominate the television landscape have been allowed to cope with these issues for years. For black viewers, seeing themselves portrayed as real flesh-and-blood characters who cope with and ultimately solve life's great challenges is a rarely enjoyed breath of fresh air.

In addition to presenting well-rounded black characters, DS9 presents blacks interacting and succeeding in a multi-racial world. Most black shows, especially black sitcoms, feature an all-black line-up. The characters find success and stature, but only among other blacks. The insidious implication which arises, intentionally or not, is that blacks can succeed among their peers, but not in the real world where it counts, DS9 shatters this antiquated notion by presenting black characters who successfully interact with people of all races, colors and creeds.

Considering its positive impact, it is all the more tragic that DS9, one of the best shows on television, is currently one of the least watched. For those in the 'cultural majority' who have yet to latch on to the DS9 phenomena, I invite you to sample what this well-made, thought-provoking science fiction program has to offer. To black viewers who crave quality television, I urge you to give this remarkable program a try. You might be surprised at what you find: a little piece of yourself.

ERIC WALLACE is a former Army brat and a freelance screenwriter living in Los Angeles. Since his escape from the rural South, he has become a much friendlier person.

[reidmarieprentiss]

I Love You

Summary: Spencer tries to redeem himself after ruining everything he had with you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, smut (18+)

Warnings/Includes: light smut (18+), pain of breakup, voicing that pain

Word count: 8.2k

a/n: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee part two to i love you (i would write part 3) —hi was gonna wait to post butttt im having a bad monday so i wanted to see these fellas have their happy ending

masterlist part one

July, 2008

“Hey,” you said softly, your eyes searching his, filled with emotions.

“Hey,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

A silence hung between you, thick with unspoken words, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was as if both of you were trying to navigate the delicate terrain of this moment, unsure of where to begin.

“Come in,” you finally said, stepping aside to let him enter. Spencer nodded, stepping into your apartment with familiarity and trepidation. As you closed the door behind him, you couldn’t help but notice how he seemed almost hesitant, as if afraid to disrupt the space you had built for yourself in his absence.

You both moved to the living room, where he sat on the edge of the couch, his hands fidgeting slightly in his lap. You took a seat across from him, giving him the space he seemed to need.

“I’ve been thinking about what to say to you for months,” Spencer began, his voice tentative, eyes focused on his hands. “But now that I’m here, I realize that no amount of words can really make up for what I did.”

You remained quiet, letting him speak, knowing that this was something he needed to get out.

“I was jealous. Insecure. I let my fears control me, and I ended up pushing away the one person who meant everything to me,” he continued, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. “I know I hurt you, and I can’t take that back. But I need you to know how sorry I am. I’m so sorry for doubting you, for accusing you, for letting my insecurities get in the way of what we had.”

You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the regret that weighed heavily on him. It tugged at your heart, but you weren’t ready to let go of the pain just yet.

“Spencer,” you began, your voice steady but soft, “I appreciate you wanting to fix things, to be willing to admit your feelings. But what happened… it wasn’t between us. It was just you. I wasn’t a part of any of the decision-making, or the understanding. The only part of our relationship that I was present for towards the end, was the breakup. You left me out of everything and made up your own stories and facts about me, your loving, devoted girlfriend. I put all of my trust into you, and I only wish you had done the same for me.”

Your words hung in the air, heavy with the truth that had been buried for too long. Spencer’s face paled as he absorbed what you were saying, the weight of his actions settling on him like a burden he could never fully shake off.

“I know,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I know I let my fears and insecurities take control, and I didn’t give you the trust and respect you deserved. I created a narrative in my head, one that wasn’t based on reality, and I let it destroy what we had.”

You nodded, your heart aching but resolute. “Spencer, relationships are built on trust, communication, and partnership. You can’t love someone and keep them at arm’s length, making decisions about them without including them. That’s not how it works.”

He looked at you, his eyes filled with regret. “You’re right. I failed you in every way that mattered. I don’t know how to fix that, but I want to try. I want to earn back your trust, if that’s even possible.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of the past year pressing down on you. “It’s not something that can be fixed overnight, Spencer. And honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to even try right now. I need time to think, to figure out what I want.”

Spencer nodded, his expression solemn. “I understand. I’m willing to wait, to give you all the time you need. I just needed you to know how sorry I am, and how much I regret everything I did.”

The room fell silent again, but this time it was a silence of understanding—a mutual acknowledgment of the pain and the need for space. It wasn’t a resolution, but it was a step toward something, even if that something was simply closure.

“Thank you for coming here, Spencer,” you said finally, your voice softer now. “I needed to hear this, and I think you needed to say it.”

“I did,” he agreed, standing up slowly. “I’ll go now. But if you ever want to talk, or… anything, I’m here.”

“No… you don’t have to leave,” you said quickly, surprising even yourself with the words.

Spencer paused, looking at you with confusion and hope. “What? Why not?”

“You took a three-hour train to be here,” you continued, your voice softer now. “We can… still be friends. Friends spend time together. Right?”

Spencer’s eyes searched yours, as if trying to gauge whether you truly meant it. “Right,” he finally said, a tentative smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

You nodded, feeling a small sense of relief. “So, stay. We can talk, or just… be here. No pressure.”

He hesitated for a moment, then slowly sat back down, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little. “I’d like that,” he admitted, the words carrying a sincerity that made your heart ache.

And so, you both sat there, the remnants of what you once had still lingering in the air, but now with a new understanding—a step toward healing, toward something different. Maybe it was the beginning of a friendship, or maybe it was just a way to start mending what had been broken. Either way, it felt like the right thing to do, and for now, that was enough.

—

As you both settled into the couch, the initial tension began to dissipate, replaced by a more comfortable atmosphere. Spencer shifted slightly, trying to find the right words to break the ice, but you beat him to it.

“So,” you began with a teasing smile, “have you read any good books lately? Or are you still just hoarding them?”

Spencer chuckled, the familiar sound bringing a sense of warmth to the room. “Hoarding? I prefer to think of it as curating a personal library.”

“Sure, sure,” you laughed. “And how many of those ‘curated’ books have you actually read?”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “More than you might think! But okay, I’ll admit, the collection has outgrown my reading pace a bit.”

“A bit?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “I remember you saying that about three bookshelves ago.”

Spencer smiled, feeling more at ease. “Well, you know how it is. So many books, so little time. But I did finish that mystery novel you recommended.”

“Oh, you mean the one where the butler actually didn’t do it?” you grinned, leaning back against the couch.

“Yes! I was convinced it was him the entire time,” Spencer admitted, shaking his head. “They really got me with that twist.”

You laughed, the sound light and genuine. “I knew you’d like it! I told you it wasn’t as predictable as it seemed.”

“Okay, okay, you were right,” he conceded, a playful tone in his voice. “What about you? Been to any good concerts lately, or are you too busy performing in them?”

“Touché,” you said, giving him a mock glare. “But actually, I did go to one recently! It was kind of nice to be in the audience for a change, you know?”

Spencer nodded, a genuine smile on his face. “I can imagine. It’s probably a different experience when you’re not the one on stage.”

“It really is,” you agreed. “I got to just enjoy the music without worrying about anything. It was a good reminder of why I love it so much.”

The conversation flowed easily after that, the two of you slipping back into a comfortable rhythm, sharing stories and light-hearted banter. It felt natural, almost like old times, but with a new understanding and a lighter, more cautious energy. It wasn’t the same as before, but it was something, and it felt good to just be in each other’s company again.

—

Spencer left later that evening, feeling lighter but not completely at ease. The conversation had been a step in the right direction, but he knew there was still a lot of work to do to truly prove to you how sorry he was. The road to rebuilding your trust was going to be long, and he was prepared to do whatever it took.

As the door closed behind him, you found yourself sitting in the quiet of your apartment, reflecting on the unexpected turn of events. Despite everything, Spencer had always been a significant part of your life, and it seemed that, in some ways, he still was. The emotions of the day swirled in your mind, a mix of old memories and new beginnings.

Instinctively, you reached for a notebook and pen, letting your thoughts flow onto the pages. Spencer had been your muse for years, inspiring some of your most heartfelt songs. That hadn’t changed, even after all the pain. Now, as you started scribbling down ideas, you felt that familiar spark—his presence still lingered, giving rise to new melodies and lyrics. The words came naturally, you weren’t sure where this new song would lead or what it would become, but for now, it was enough to let the music carry your emotions, just as it always had.

—

Spencer knew that rebuilding your trust would take time and consistent effort, so he began with the little things, the everyday gestures that showed he was thinking of you. 

He started texting you whenever something small reminded him of you—a funny sign he saw on his way to work, a quirky fact he knew you’d appreciate, or just a picture of his coffee when it was served in one of those oversized mugs you always loved. The messages were brief but thoughtful, his way of staying connected without pushing too hard.

When you didn’t answer his calls, he left sweet, friendly voicemails. “Hey, it’s me,” he’d say, his voice warm with a hint of nervousness. “I just wanted to hear your voice, but no worries if you’re busy. I hope you’re having a good day. Call me back if you can. If not, I’ll catch you later.” His tone was always light, never demanding, just letting you know he was thinking of you.

Every time you finished a show, you’d return to your hotel room to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers waiting for you. The notes attached were always simple, but they made your heart ache a little less. I know you were amazing tonight. I can hear the crowd from across the ocean. –Spencer was your favorite one, always signed with just his first name, a touch of the familiar that made you smile despite yourself.

Spencer also made it his mission to read every book you had ever recommended. Late at night, after finishing a chapter, he would call you to share his thoughts. “Hey, I just finished that mystery novel you suggested,” he’d say, excitement evident in his voice. “You were right, the twist was incredible! I didn’t see it coming at all. I’d love to hear what you thought when you read it.” Sometimes you answered, and sometimes you didn’t, but he always left a message, continuing the conversation as if you were right there with him.

These small, consistent gestures slowly chipped away at the walls between you. They weren’t grand declarations, but they were genuine, thoughtful, and persistent—a reflection of Spencer’s commitment to making things right, one step at a time.

—

September, 2008

You had a show tonight in Amsterdam, and the city seemed to glow with a charm that made you fall in love with it a little more every day. The weather was perfect, with a gentle breeze and sunshine that reflected off the canals, making everything feel just a bit more magical. You couldn’t have asked for a better setting to prepare for your performance. You were soaking it all in, convinced that this country might just be one of your favorite stops on the tour.

But that sense of contentment was abruptly interrupted when you left your hotel that morning for a walk with Emerson, your head of security. The usual routine—just a quiet stroll to clear your mind before the day’s whirlwind began. But today, there was something different.

As you stepped out of the hotel, your eyes adjusted to the bright morning light, and then they landed on a figure standing next to Emerson. It took a second for your brain to catch up with what your eyes were seeing, but when it did, your heart skipped a beat. 

Spencer.

He was standing there, looking slightly out of place but unmistakably beautiful. His hands were shoved in his pockets, his posture a mix of nervousness and resolve. When he saw you, his eyes softened, and the hint of a smile tugged at his lips.

“Spencer?” you said, surprise and confusion mingling in your voice as you stepped closer.

“Hey,” he replied, his voice tentative but hopeful. “I was in the neighborhood. I thought… maybe I could catch your show tonight.”

You glanced at Emerson, who gave a small nod, signaling that Spencer had already been vetted and that his presence wasn’t an issue from a security standpoint. That left you to decide how you felt about him being here—unannounced, thousands of miles from home.

“You were in the neighborhood, huh?” you asked, raising an eyebrow with skepticism and amusement.

“Mhm,” Spencer nodded, his expression serious for a moment before a small, teasing smile tugged at his lips. “Just passing through.”

You couldn’t help but smirk at his attempt to play along. “You didn’t come here to see anything? Anyone in particular?”

He pretended to think for a moment, then shook his head, eyes sparkling with mischief. “No? Why would I do that?” he teased, his tone light but carrying a hint of the vulnerability you knew he was trying to mask.

You rolled your eyes playfully, feeling some of the tension ease between you. “Well, since you’re here, you might as well see a show tonight. I hear it’s going to be a good one.”

Spencer’s smile widened, the relief evident in his eyes as he realized you weren’t upset. “I’d like that,” he said softly. “I’d really like that.”

The two of you stood there for a moment, the light banter easing some of the weight that had been hanging over your relationship. There was still so much to talk about, so much to work through, but for now, the fact that Spencer was here—willing to put in the effort and show up—meant something. And that was a start.

—

Emerson found a small table just within view, keeping a discreet yet vigilant eye on you and Spencer as the two of you settled into a cozy café along the canal. The picturesque setting, with its cobblestone streets and gently flowing water, seemed to work its magic, casting a warm, romantic glow over everything. You could see the old-world charm of Amsterdam reflected in the brown of Spencer’s eyes, and the peaceful atmosphere made it easy to forget, if only for a moment, the unresolved tensions between you two.

As you both sipped your coffee, the conversation naturally flowed, light and easy, with a hint of the playfulness that had always existed between you. 

“This place is amazing,” Spencer remarked, looking around with genuine appreciation. “I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere quite like it.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” you agreed, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face. “But I have to admit, I’m a little biased. I’ve always had a soft spot for places like this—where everything feels timeless.”

Spencer smiled, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. “Timeless suits you,” he said, his voice soft but filled with meaning.

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks, the compliment catching you off guard. “You always know just what to say, don’t you?” you teased, trying to downplay the effect his words had on you.

“Only when it comes to you,” he replied, his tone slightly more serious but still playful enough to keep things light.

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his flirtatiousness. “Careful, Dr. Reid. You’re getting dangerously close to charming your way back into my good graces.”

Spencer leaned in slightly, his eyes sparkling with that familiar mix of intelligence and mischief. “Is that so? Because I was under the impression I had quite a bit of ground to make up.”

You raised an eyebrow, matching his playful tone. “Oh, you definitely do. But I have to say, this impromptu visit to Amsterdam is a pretty solid start.”

Spencer’s smile widened, emboldened by the fact that you hadn’t shut him down. “Well, I’ve always been a fan of spontaneous gestures. Especially when they involve canals and coffee with a beautiful woman.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Spencer, you’re laying it on thick today.”

“Just trying to make the most of the moment,” he said, his voice softening as he looked at you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

For a moment, it was easy to forget that you hadn’t made up your mind about where things stood between you. The romantic setting, the easy conversation, and the lingering affection between you made it feel like everything was just as it had been before. You allowed yourself to bask in the moment, enjoying the way Spencer’s presence made you feel—light, happy, and maybe even a little bit hopeful.

As you both continued to flirt and laugh, the city of Amsterdam seemed to wrap you in its embrace, making it easy to pretend, just for a little while, that all the hurt and uncertainty were far behind you.

—

While you were whisked away for sound checks and concert preparations, Spencer found himself with some time to explore the charming streets of Amsterdam on his own. The city was a maze of narrow alleys, quaint shops, and hidden gems, each turn offering something new to discover. As he wandered, Spencer stumbled upon a small, local florist tucked away on a quiet street corner. The shop was brimming with vibrant blooms, their sweet scent filling the air. It was then that an idea struck him.

—

That evening, as you took the stage, you felt a different kind of energy pulsing through you. The anticipation of the performance always brought a thrill, but tonight was special. You knew Spencer was somewhere in the crowd, watching you with those thoughtful eyes of his. It was hard not to shine a little brighter, knowing he was there, sharing this moment with you.

Even with thousands of faces in the crowd, you could sense him out there, unwavering in his attention. Knowing he was watching, supporting you, made you feel invincible. For the first time in a long while, you fully embraced the moment, letting the music and the crowd's energy fill you up.

When the concert ended, the thunderous applause echoed in your ears as you walked off the stage, your heart racing—not just from the performance, but from the anticipation of seeing Spencer again. The night wasn’t over, and you couldn’t wait to see what it had in store.

—

The ride back to your hotel from the venue was charged with a new, palpable energy between you and Spencer. The city lights flickered past as you sat together in the backseat, his hand gently holding yours, and you didn’t pull away. You let him hold onto you, both of you savoring the quiet connection that had started to rebuild itself.

When you arrived at your hotel, Emerson gave you a goodnight with a knowing wink before leaving you and Spencer alone. As you opened the door to your room, you were greeted by a breathtaking sight—every surface in the vintage, pristine room was covered in flower bouquets. The rich scent of fresh blooms filled the air, making the moment even more surreal.

“Spencer?” you called out, still taking in the unexpected surprise.

“Yes, Y/N?” he replied, his voice soft, almost nervous.

“You did this?” you asked, turning to face him with wide eyes.

“No, it was all Dylan,” he teased, trying to keep his tone light.

You raised an eyebrow, amused. “He would never. He’s allergic to flowers.”

“Emerson?” Spencer suggested, his voice growing more uncertain as you began to slowly walk toward him.

“Nope,” you shook your head, a playful glint in your eye. “They have strict rules to follow. This would break a lot of them.”

Spencer swallowed hard, his mind racing as you closed the distance between you. “Then it seems like you have a secret admirer,” he murmured, his voice low and husky.

“I wish I could properly thank them,” you said, your voice just above a whisper as you stopped right in front of him.

Spencer’s breath caught in his throat as he looked down at you, his heart pounding in his chest. “How… how would you thank them? Just so I can pass the word on if I find them,” he asked, his voice barely steady.

You leaned in closer, your lips almost brushing his as you whispered, “I don’t think I can say… it’s explicit.”

His eyes darkened with desire, the playful banter between you intensifying the tension. Spencer’s breath hitched, his mind reeling as he struggled to keep his composure, realizing that perhaps, just perhaps, this night was about to become even more unforgettable.

“Maybe—shit,” Spencer stammered as you began kissing his neck, your hands skillfully unbuttoning his shirt. His words faltered as he tried to maintain the playful charade. “Maybe, if you showed me, I could tell them…”

You pulled back just enough to look him in the eye, a smirk playing on your lips. “Spencer, drop the act, or I’m kicking you out.”

He swallowed hard, his playful facade crumbling under the intensity of the moment. “Yes, ma’am,” he replied, his voice a mix of submission and anticipation.

Spencer leaned down to kiss you, his intentions clear in the warmth of his gaze, but you stepped back just in time, a playful smile dancing on your lips. He paused, momentarily thrown off by your sudden evasion, but then a glint of mischief sparked in his eyes.

You slowly dodged him, weaving around the vases of flowers that filled the room, sneaking glances at him over the tops of the beautiful petals. Each bouquet served as a playful barrier, giving you just enough of an edge to keep him at bay. Spencer, undeterred, followed you with the focused intensity of a predator stalking its prey, his movements deliberate yet light-hearted.

The room was filled with the scent of fresh blooms, but all you could focus on was the chase—the way Spencer’s eyes tracked your every move, the way his playful demeanor had resurfaced after being buried under months of tension. It was as if the playful spirit of your relationship had finally defrosted, melting away the distance that had grown between you.

As you ducked behind a particularly large vase, you caught a glimpse of him moving closer, his eyes locked on yours. He was enjoying the chase, and you could feel the thrill of the game building between you. You darted to the side, but he was faster, anticipating your move and closing the distance.

“Got you,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing as he finally cornered you against the wall, his arms bracketing you in. His smile was wide, his eyes gleaming with triumph as he leaned in close, leaving no more room for escape.

“Promise?” you whispered, your voice barely audible, yet filled with vulnerability. 

Spencer’s eyes softened even more, understanding the weight of that single word. His expression grew serious, all the playfulness giving way to something deeper. He reached up, gently cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin.

“I promise,” he said, his voice steady and sincere. “I won’t let you down again.”

With those words hanging in the air, the distance between you finally closed as Spencer leaned in to kiss you. His lips brushed against yours, soft and tentative at first, as if he was savoring the moment, afraid to rush what felt so fragile. The warmth of his breath mingled with yours, and for a brief second, everything else faded away—the flowers, the room, the world outside—leaving just the two of you, wrapped in intimacy.

As the kiss deepened, the tentative touch gave way to something more urgent, more desperate. Spencer’s hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer, his fingers pressing gently but firmly into your skin as if grounding himself in the reality of you being there, in his arms. You responded in kind, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair, the soft strands slipping between your fingers as you pressed your body against his, seeking more of the warmth and comfort his presence brought.

The taste of him was intoxicating, a blend of familiarity and longing that you hadn’t realized you’d missed so much. His lips moved with a slow, deliberate rhythm, taking their time to explore every curve and contour of your mouth, as if memorizing the sensation all over again. The kiss was filled with a hunger that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long, now finally unleashed in the safety of this shared moment.

Your breath quickened as the heat between you grew, the banter from earlier now replaced with an intensity that left you both breathless. Spencer’s hands slid up your back, his touch leaving a trail of warmth in its wake as he pressed you against the wall, his body a solid, reassuring presence against yours. 

Every inch of you was aware of him—the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the subtle tremor in his hands as they roamed your body, the way his lips claimed yours with a possessive need that made your pulse race. The air around you crackled with the electricity of unspoken desires, the kind that had been dormant for far too long.

You felt the world around you blur, your senses overwhelmed by the feel, taste, and scent of him. Spencer’s lips left yours only to travel down your jawline, his breath hot against your skin as he pressed soft, lingering kisses along the sensitive curve of your neck. A shiver ran through you, your body responding instinctively to the sensation, your head tilting slightly to grant him better access. His name slipped from your lips, a breathless whisper that held a world of meaning, of need, of budding trust.

He paused for just a moment, his forehead resting against yours, his breath mingling with yours as you both caught your breath. The look in his eyes was one of pure, unfiltered emotion—love, desire, and a hint of the vulnerability that came with baring one’s soul to another.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion, “I need you.”

The simple statement, filled with so much more than just physical desire, resonated deep within you. It wasn’t just about the touch or the kiss—it was about everything you had shared, everything you had lost, and everything you were beginning to find again. In that moment, you knew that this was more than just a kiss—it was a step toward healing, toward rebuilding what had been broken, and toward rediscovering the love that had always been there, just waiting for the right moment to bloom again.

“You have me,” you whispered, your voice steady despite the rush of emotions swirling inside you.

“I do?” Spencer asked, his eyes searching yours, filled with hope and disbelief.

“You do, Spencer,” you affirmed, your words laced with all the sincerity you felt in that moment.

With that, any lingering hesitation vanished. Spencer’s hands, warm and sure, found yours as you both slowly made your way toward the bed. The room seemed to pulse with the energy between you, every step heightening the anticipation that had been building all evening.

As you reached the edge of the bed, Spencer paused, his gaze locking onto yours, his eyes reflecting the depth of what was about to happen. He pulled you close, your bodies fitting together perfectly, and in that moment, it was as if everything fell into place—every word, every gesture, every unspoken promise.

Gently, he guided you down onto the soft sheets, the world narrowing to just the two of you. The mattress dipped slightly under your combined weight, the sensation grounding you both in the reality of this moment. Spencer hovered above you, his hands framing your face as he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both tender and filled with the unspoken vows of what you were rebuilding together.

His lips moved against yours with a slow, deliberate rhythm. His touch was careful, almost reverent, as though he was savoring every second, every sensation. His fingers trailed down the side of your face, brushing over your jawline before gently tracing the curve of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. 

You felt the warmth of his body pressing against yours. The fabric of your clothes created a tantalizing friction between you, the anticipation building with every subtle movement. Spencer’s hand slid down to your waist, his fingertips grazing the sensitive skin just beneath the hem of your shirt, igniting a trail of heat as he slowly lifted the fabric, his touch both hesitant and eager.

As he leaned in closer, his breath ghosted over your skin, leaving a tingling warmth in its wake. The weight of him above you was a comforting reminder of his presence, his body cocooning you in a protective embrace. His lips moved to your jaw, then to the delicate curve of your neck, where he pressed soft, lingering kisses, each one sending a wave of warmth cascading through your body.

You arched slightly beneath him, your hands finding their way to his back, feeling the muscles tense and relax under your touch. Spencer’s hand continued its exploration, moving from your waist to your hip, then down the curve of your thigh, his fingers tracing slow, lazy patterns that left you breathless.

The world outside the room faded away, leaving just the two of you enveloped in this moment of rediscovery. Every touch, every kiss, felt like a promise—of forgiveness, of healing, of a love that had been tested but refused to break. Spencer’s eyes met yours, a silent question lingering in them, and when you nodded, he smiled—a tender, genuine smile that spoke of the hope you both held for what lay ahead.

His lips found yours again, and this time the kiss was deeper, more urgent, as if you were both trying to make up for lost time. The intensity of the moment wrapped around you both like a warm embrace, pulling you closer, dissolving any remaining doubts.

The soft fabric of your clothes slowly gave way under his touch, his hands sliding beneath to explore the warmth of your skin. Every brush of his fingers sent a wave of sensation coursing through you, heightening the anticipation that had been building between you.

You arched into him, your breath hitching as his lips trailed down your neck, leaving a heated path in their wake. His name escaped your lips in a breathless whisper, urging him on as he continued his slow, deliberate exploration. The way he touched you, the way he kissed you, was as though he was rediscovering every part of you, savoring the familiarity and the newfound intensity that came with the rekindling of your connection.

Your hands found their way to the buttons of his shirt you never got to finish undoing, your fingers trembling slightly with the urgency of your desire. As you worked to undo them, Spencer’s lips moved lower, his breath warm against your skin, each kiss igniting a deeper longing within you. The fabric of his shirt slipped off his shoulders, revealing the familiar contours of his chest, his skin warm and inviting under your touch.

With a gentle but insistent push, Spencer guided you back down onto the sheets, his body hovering over yours, the weight of him pressing into you in a way that made your heart race. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, everything else fell away—there was just you, him, and the intense connection that pulsed between you.

His lips found yours once more, the kiss growing more heated, more insistent, as the boundaries between you blurred. His hand slid down your body, tracing familiar paths with a renewed intensity. When he reached your core, his touch was confident, knowing exactly how to apply just the right amount of pressure, a skill only a lover who truly knows your body could master.

A soft moan escaped your lips as Spencer’s fingers continued to work their magic, the sensations sending shivers of pleasure coursing through you. His mouth moved from your lips to your chest, leaving a trail of heated kisses down to your nipples. His breath was warm against your skin, each exhale sending a new wave of anticipation through your body. Your hands roamed over his back, fingers digging in slightly as the intensity of the moment built between you.

Spencer’s touch was both firm and gentle, guiding you through waves of pleasure with an ease that spoke to the depth of your connection. Every movement was purposeful, designed to bring you closer to that edge, yet slow enough to savor each moment. He was meticulous, attentive, ensuring that your every reaction was met with just the right response.

The rhythm between you was perfect, a dance of mutual desire and trust. As you moved together, the sensations intensified, each one drawing you closer to the brink. Spencer’s name slipped from your lips in a breathy whisper, a sound that spurred him on, his own need mirrored in your eyes.

Finally, when the tension became too much to bear, you let go, surrendering to the flood of sensations that washed over you. Spencer kept his rhythm steady, guiding you through the waves of pleasure until you began to shake, your body trembling from the intensity. When you pushed his hand away, overwhelmed by the sensations, he relented, his touch immediately softening.

“Spencer…” you looked up at him with desperation in your eyes, your voice breathless, “please.”

He gazed down at you, his expression softening with affection and understanding. “Okay, baby. I got you,” he whispered, his voice soothing, full of promise.

“I know,” you replied, your trust in him evident in those two simple words.

Spencer smiled at you, the warmth in his eyes reflecting the deep connection between you. He leaned down, brushing a tender kiss against your lips before positioning himself. His movements were deliberate, careful, as he lined himself up with you, ensuring that you were both ready for what came next.

The anticipation hung heavy in the air as he entered you slowly, each inch sending a new wave of sensation through your body. He paused for a moment, allowing you both to adjust to the feeling, before he began to move with a steady, unhurried rhythm. Every thrust was measured, deliberate, as if he wanted to savor every second of being with you in this way.

Your hands found their way to his back, your nails digging in slightly as he picked up the pace, the urgency between you building once more. The sounds of your breathless moans and his deep groans filled the room, blending with the scent of flowers and the lingering intimacy that wrapped around you both.

With every movement, Spencer's focus was entirely on you—on your pleasure, your needs. He watched your reactions closely, his gaze never leaving your face as he adjusted his rhythm to match what you needed. His own pleasure was secondary, a distant thought compared to the overwhelming desire to see you completely fulfilled.

Spencer’s name slipped from your lips in breathless whispers, the sound fueling his determination to bring you as much pleasure as possible. His touch was both gentle and firm, knowing exactly when to push you further and when to hold back, drawing out the moment, making it last.

As the tension built once more, you could feel the waves of pleasure building inside you, Spencer’s steady rhythm guiding you to the brink. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, a gesture that was both intimate and grounding, reminding you that he was right there with you, sharing in every moment. 

When the release finally came, it was overwhelming, a powerful surge of sensation that left you breathless and trembling in his arms. Spencer helped you through it, his movements gentle and reassuring as he guided you down from the heights of pleasure as he held you close, as if you were the most precious thing in his world.

His own release followed soon after, his grip on you tightening as he surrendered to the overwhelming sensations. The sound of his ragged breathing filled the room, mingling with your own as you both rode out the waves of pleasure together.

In the quiet aftermath, Spencer pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you in a protective embrace. Your heart beats slowly returned to normal, the world around you gradually coming back into focus. The room was filled with the scent of flowers, the warmth of your shared intimacy, and the comforting presence of the person who knew you better than anyone else.

Spencer’s fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, his touch soothing and gentle. “Are you okay?” he whispered, his voice soft, full of concern and love.

“I’m not sure,” you teased, a smile playing on your lips. “I don’t think I can feel my legs.”

Spencer groaned, a flush of mild embarrassment coloring his cheeks. “Y/N…”

You laughed softly, the sound light and free. “I’m okay, Spencer. Really. Are you?”

He looked down at you, his eyes warm and filled with a contentment that made your heart swell. “I’m happy,” he said simply, his voice carrying the weight of everything he couldn’t quite put into words.

Your heart soared at his confession, a wave of warmth spreading through you. “Me too,” you whispered, feeling a deep sense of peace settle over you.

And for the first time in what felt like too goddamn long, you fell asleep in Spencer’s arms, your bodies intertwined, the world outside fading away as you drifted off into a restful, contented sleep.

—

Spencer did have to return home, and you had to move on to your next tour location, but neither of you parted without lingering kisses and heartfelt promises. 

Standing at the door of your hotel room, Spencer pulled you close, his hands gently cradling your face as he pressed one last, tender kiss to your lips. The moment was bittersweet, filled with the knowledge that your paths would diverge once more, but also with the hope that this wasn’t goodbye.

“See you later,” he murmured against your lips, his voice full of sincerity.

“See you later,” you echoed, your hands clutching at his shirt, reluctant to let go.

With one final embrace, Spencer slowly pulled away, his fingers trailing down your arm as if he couldn’t bear to break the connection entirely. He gave you a soft smile, one that spoke of the unspoken feelings still lingering between you, before turning to leave.

As you watched him walk away, your heart felt lighter, knowing that this was just a temporary farewell. There was a quiet confidence in the promise you had made to each other—a promise that despite the distance, you would find your way back to one another. And as you prepared to move on to your next tour location, you carried that promise with you, feeling more connected to Spencer than ever before.

—

November, 2008

“Y/N, how would you feel about taking a break between the next two stops?” Dylan suggested casually, though his tone held a hint of something more.

You immediately perked up, curiosity and concern flashing across your face. “Why? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing like that,” Dylan reassured you with a warm smile. “You’ve just been working so hard, and there’s a scheduled two-week break where you don’t have any obligations.”

“Seriously? How did that happen?” you asked, surprised and a bit skeptical. It wasn’t like your schedule to have such a gap.

Dylan chuckled, his eyes twinkling with affection. “Because your assistant loves you and wants to make sure you stay healthy.”

Your face lit up with gratitude. “I love you too. There’s really a whole two weeks of nothing?”

“Well, not nothing,” Dylan laughed. “I still need you back for sound checks before your next show. And at least one or two posts each week.”

“Deal,” you agreed without hesitation, excitement bubbling up inside you. “When can I leave?”

“After tonight,” he replied with a grin, knowing exactly where your mind was headed.

Without thinking, you ran over to Dylan and planted a big, affectionate smooch on his head, overwhelmed with gratitude. You hadn’t seen Spencer since Amsterdam—two long months filled with phone calls and texts that were nice but could never quite fill the void. It was hard, and you couldn’t lie to yourself about that. You missed him, missed the way he made you feel when you were together.

And Spencer? He was trying his best to be patient, reminding himself that you were busy, that you were on another continent, and that the occasional game of phone tag had nothing to do with how you felt about him. But it was tough, and he was counting the days until he could hold you again.

As you packed up your things, the thought of seeing Spencer after so long filled you with a renewed energy. The anticipation of being together again, even if just for a short time, made the time apart seem worth it. And you knew that the moment you were back in his arms, everything would feel right again.

—

You knew Spencer wasn’t on a case—he always made sure to tell you when one came in, just in case you needed to reach him and he was unavailable. So, without hesitation, you booked a flight to New York. You barely had time to drop off your things, shower, and repack before you were on a train heading to Virginia, your heart racing with anticipation.

Spencer wasn’t expecting anyone when he heard a knock on his front door. He approached with caution, wondering who could be visiting at this hour. But when he opened the door, his breath caught in his throat.

“Y/N??” he exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Boo,” you said playfully, a grin spreading across your face.

Without a second thought, Spencer opened the door all the way and pulled you into a tight hug, the relief and joy in his embrace unmistakable. “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see my favorite genius,” you replied, your voice muffled slightly against his chest.

“But you’re on tour,” he said, pulling back just enough to look at you, concern and confusion etched on his face.

“Oh yeah, I quit. Canceled everything,” you said nonchalantly, trying to keep a straight face.

“What?? You can’t do that! Your fans! Your—” Spencer began to panic, but the sight of your teasing smile stopped him mid-sentence.

“I’m kidding, Spence,” you laughed, lightly tapping his chest. “Dylan scheduled me for a break.” You bit your lip, smiling up at him with excitement and mischief.

“How long do I have you for?” he asked, his voice softening as he searched your eyes.

“Forever? Hopefully,” you teased, but there was a sincerity in your tone that made Spencer’s heart swell.

“Y/N…” Spencer was speechless, overwhelmed by the sight of you standing there, in his doorway, after so long. He was so, so in love.

“Just under two weeks,” you added, your smile growing as you saw the love and happiness in his eyes.

“That’s more than I could’ve hoped for,” he whispered, pulling you back into his arms, holding you as if he never wanted to let go. And in that moment, with you in his arms, the world felt perfect once again.

—

While Spencer was at work, he recommended that you read a book he loved, something to keep you occupied while he was away. With nothing else on your agenda, you decided to take him up on the suggestion and finally had a chance to relax. Settling into a comfortable spot, you cracked open the book, curious to see what had captured Spencer’s heart.

As the hours passed, you became completely engrossed in the story, savoring every word. It was a romance novel, something you hadn’t expected from Spencer, but it touched you deeply. The characters’ journey mirrored so many of your own emotions, their struggles and triumphs in love resonating with everything you and Spencer had gone through.

When you finally turned over the last page, satisfied yet yearning for more, you noticed something scrawled in messy pen on the inside of the back cover. Your heart skipped a beat as you began to read the familiar handwriting.

My love—

Words will never be able to capture how truly sorry I am for everything I have done, for everything I have put you through. I am beyond grateful you gave me a second chance, not just with you, but at happiness, fulfillment, and love. I love you. There is only one piece missing now from our ever-evolving puzzle.

Will you be my girlfriend?

Sincerely, your desperately in love, Spencer

Tears welled up in your eyes as you reread the note, the sincerity and vulnerability in his words hitting you right in the heart. You couldn’t help but smile through the tears, your heart swelling with love for the man who had poured his emotions onto the page, who had been brave enough to ask you for a second chance at happiness.

When Spencer returned home that evening, you didn’t wait for him to ask how the book was. You simply walked up to him, holding the book in your hands, and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.

“Is that a yes?” Spencer asked softly, his voice full of hope and love as he held you close.

You looked up at him, your eyes still glistening with tears but your smile radiant. “Of course it’s a yes, Spencer,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I would love to be your girlfriend.”

And in that moment, surrounded by the warmth of his embrace, you knew that this was just the beginning of a new, beautiful piece in your love story.

—

Bonus

“Billie, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is Billie,” you said, introducing the two with a warm smile.

Billie smiled at Spencer, her eyes curious as she took him in. “Hey, nice to finally meet you! I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said, her tone friendly and genuine.

Spencer returned the smile. “Likewise. It’s great to meet you too, Billie. Y/N’s told me a lot about you as well.”

Billie chuckled, glancing at you with a playful grin. “All good things, I hope?”

“Only the best,” Spencer replied, his gaze shifting to you with a fondness that didn’t go unnoticed.

You couldn’t help but smile at the easy exchange, relieved that two of the most important people in your life were finally meeting. The moment felt natural, like two pieces of your world finally clicking into place.

“So, Spencer… you thought I was Phoebe Bridgers?” Billie asked with a teasing grin, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Spencer’s cheeks flushed slightly, but he managed a sheepish smile. “In my defense, the photo was pretty blurry,” he replied, his tone light but sincere.

Billie laughed, shaking her head. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. But I’m glad we’ve cleared that up.”

“Only a year or so too late, but he just upgraded his prescription,” you teased, flashing Spencer a playful grin.

Spencer chuckled, shaking his head. “Better late than never, right?”

Billie laughed along, the lighthearted banter putting everyone at ease. “Well, I’m glad you can see things clearly now,” she joked, giving you a wink. 

“Did she just wink at you?” Spencer asked, his voice a mix of playful suspicion and amusement.

“Spencer!” you groaned, laughing as you nudged him lightly. “Don’t start!”

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tag list <333 @spencerreidsreads @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @reggieswriter @loumouse @mentallyunwellsposts @time-himself @chaneladdicted @kathrynlakestone @furrybouquettrash @hearts4spensco @gilwm @khxna @charismatic-writer @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @noelliece

[queerxqueen]

Hey quick question! I saw that you talked about the legitimacy of 8flix and I just saw these pictures:

Do you think 8flix actually is connected to the writers and has read the legitimate scripts?

Thank you <33

Could not care less about what 8flix Nick thinks of Byler and if anything this is confirmation that he's a scheming opportunistic grifter who took advantage of the byler community back during scriptgate.

Do I think he possibly has real scripts for season 4? Yeah, sure. But I've seen the official season 4 scripts (bc dustin book author privileges) and I still think byler will be canon. As much as I'd love to analyze the script stuff with you, it's very much under my NDA, so I can't, but I will say that anyone who expects season 4 scripts to have concrete answers to byler is severely misguided. The season 4 scripts do exactly what the season 4 show did, which is show us Will's feelings for Mike and Mike's apparent love for El while hinting at a deeper internal struggle for Mike that viewers are not meant to be privy to just yet. The scripts do the same thing the show did, which is show viewers rather than tell them all the ways Mike's relationship with Will is different, more open, and healthier than his relationship with El.

You don't need the scripts to confirm or deny Byler if you actually trust in your own analysis of the show and the groundwork they've clearly set out for Byler over the seasons. You don't need leaks or spoilers from randoms on Twitter, you don't need hints from the cast, you just need to watch the damn show and have a basic understanding of how romantic tension is built. Stop searching for answers from people who don't have them, people who are just saying shit for clout, people who are just viewers like the rest of us. Yes, that includes me and other byler blogs. Everything I need to believe in byler is in the damn show. Everything I need to confirm that byler is canon is going to come when season 5 comes out. Everything else? It's just noise, my friends.

So TL;DR I think he's full of shit and just speculating as a viewer so for the love of god can we all just trust in our own media literacy instead of panicking every time some random person spreads byler doubt

[mariclerc]

hey just read your Charles × horner reader fic. it was really AMAZING. can you pls make a part 2. where they get married and maybe the reader becomes Charles's engineer. on the other hand christian understand his mistake and try to mend the relationship between him and his daughter.

Thank you for this request! I hope you like it!! 🤍🤍

Second chance spark (pt.2) | cl16

Summary: where Charles thinks you're a nepo baby just because of your last name. Warnings: horner!reader, christian being such a big asshole and fluffy fluff... This is a looong one, I hope you like it <3

Part 1

Two years later...

The Italian Grand Prix is a whirlwind of activity and a little bit of pressure for Ferrari, as usual. Mechanics scurry around the gleaming red Ferrari, finalizing preparations before qualifying. Charles, focused and sharp, sits in the cockpit, helmet on, he's ready for his first quali run.

But amidst the organized chaos, his eyes dart towards the pit wall, searching for a familiar face... He finds you, now a fully-fledged Ferrari race engineer with your headset on, eyes scanning data streams with a quiet intensity.

A ghost of a smile touches his lips as your eyes meet, a silent communication passes between the two of you, a wordless encouragement and a shared determination for victory.

Charles takes pole position, the roar of the tifosi deafening. He clambers out of the car, adrenaline coursing through his veins. As he removes his helmet, a delicate hand reaches out, offering him a water bottle.

It's you, your eyes sparkling with pride. You give him a quick hug, a silent celebration away from the prying eyes of the media.

He smiles. “Great job out there chérie, feeling good about the race?” he whispers softly. (darling)

You smile back at him. “Always, we've got this! The car is on fire this weekend!”

Charles rises an eyebrow playfully. “Is that what the engineers are calling it these days? On fire, huh?” he says teasingly.

You giggle. “Hey, you know technical jargon is evolving... Besides, you were an absolute rocket out there!” you say teasingly.

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you, a stark contrast to the early days of your relationship, when tension hung heavy in the air.

He lowers his voice. “Hey, princess... About your dad...”

You hold up a hand, stopping him before he can finish the sentence. “Don't, baby we agreed, no Red Bull family drama in the Ferrari garage... Let's focus on the race, okay?”

Charles nods, understanding. He knows the estrangement between you and Christian still cuts deep, a silent wound. But seeing the fire and determination in your warm eyes, he can't help but admire your strength.

***

Race day has arrived and you and Charles arrive quite early at the paddock, especially to finalize some things regarding possible strategies that may happen in the race. Working with him is possibly the best thing in the world, he listens to your suggestions and you listen to his, you two make a great team, the perfect combination of natural speed and intelligence.

At the time of the race Charles is leading with a great advantage over Max and you are giving him the latest instructions over the radio communication.

Charles finally crosses the finish line first, the roar of the crowd shattering the air. He pumps his fist in the air, his heart overflowing with elation. As he steps out of the car, the jubilant faces of the Ferrari team greet him. He immediately seeks out for you, and you place your arms around him in a tight hug, relief and joy mingle in your eyes as you pull back.

“You did it again! We did it babe!” You say full of pride and happiness for your boyfriend.

Charles holds your gaze, a silent promise hanging between you two, he leaned towards you to give you a kiss, it was a short one, but it meant a lot. This win, it wasn't just his, it was a victory for your love, your shared passion as a couple, and your defiance against those who doubted your relationship.

“Now go to the podium, champion!” You tell him while you have a smile on your face.

He smiles at you and kisses you again before heading to the cool down room, out of mere curiosity, you turned your gaze to the side of the Red Bull mechanics who were below the podium too and met Christian's gaze, you quickly stopped looking there and you focused on your boyfriend, who was coming out to the podium with a big smile on his face.

***

The celebration dinner is a blur of champagne toasts and laughter. Now, finally alone in your's and Charles' apartment, a comfortable silence settles.

You walk over to the window, gazing at the twinkling cityscape. Charles joins you, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“That was... Incredible. You were amazing today.” he murmurs against your neck.

“So were you on track sweetcheeks.” you say, leaning against him.

He turns you to face him, his fingers gently tilting your chin up.

“Two years, huh? Still the best decision I ever made in my life.” he says softly.

You smile shyly, your eyes filled with love and care. “Mine too baby” you say tenderly. “But wasn't your best decision to have signed with Ferrari? Or am I wrong, love?” You say and let out a giggle.

He chuckled softly and giggled. “Ehm... Probably, but they were both the best decisions of my life, that's for sure.”

You just smiled and you two share a kiss, a slow and tender one that speaks volumes. You pull away slightly, a thoughtful look on your face.

“How about we celebrate with some takeout? My treat, since you're the reigning champion.”

Charles raises an eyebrow playfully. “Only if you promise to let me win next time we play Mario Kart.” he say with a grin on his face.

You laugh. “No promises baby, no promises.”

You two head towards the kitchen, your laughter echoing in the apartment. The future may be uncertain, but for you and Charles, the bond you forged in defiance has only grown stronger. Together, you face the world, a love story written in checkered flags and stolen kisses in the pit lane.

***

A few weeks later you and Charles find yourselves in a Italian countryside. The Tuscan sun bathes the rolling hills in a golden glow. Vineyards stretch towards the horizon, dotted with quaint farmhouses. Charles drives a vintage Alfa Romeo, the top down, the wind whipping through your hair. You sit beside him, a contented smile on your face.

You've been on a weekend getaway, a stolen moment of peace amidst the relentless F1 calendar. It's been perfect: long walks through ancient villages, lazy afternoons by the pool, and evenings spent under a star-dusted sky.

Charles parks the car on a secluded hilltop overlooking a breathtaking vista of vineyards and olive groves. He turns to you, his eyes filled with a nervous intensity.

You notice his expression. “Charles, what's wrong?”

He takes a deep breath, his voice a touch shaky. “Nothing's wrong, everything's perfect princesse, actually. More perfect than I ever thought possible.” (princess)

He steps out of the car and extends a hand to help you down. You walk hand-in-hand to the edge of the hilltop, the silence rich with unspoken emotions.

“These past two years with you, y/n... they've been the happiest of my life... You've been my rock, my confidante, my biggest supporter, you push me to be a better driver, a better man.” he says looking at you. He stands on one knee and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small velvet box. You gasped, your hand flying to your mouth. “We've faced challenges, haven't we? But through it all, our love has only grown stronger... And I can't imagine facing another race, another season, another anything without you by my side.” Tears well up in your eyes as you stare at the sparkling diamond ring nestled in the velvet. “Y/n, will you marry me?” he said with his voice thick with emotion.

The world seems to hold its breath. The only sound is the gentle rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of birds. Y/n throws your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. Tears stream down your cheeks, a mixture of joy and overwhelming emotion.

“Yes, Charles! A million times yes!” you talk through choked sobs.

He holds you tightly, his heart overflowing with relief and happiness. As you two pull away, he slips the ring onto your finger, the diamond catching the sunlight. You kiss, a promise whispered against your lips.

The two of you stand there for a long time, your silhouettes bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun. The future stretches before you both, an open road waiting to be explored, not just as teammates, but as husband and wife. The Tuscan hills have witnessed a love story come full circle, a testament to the power of defiance, passion, and the promise of a forever etched in a simple question and a single, sparkling diamond.

Your laughter breaks the spell of the moment, a joyous sound that echoes across the hills. Charles twirls you around, your face alight with pure joy.

“Okay, okay, I get it, you're strong! But can we please admire the view before you spin me into oblivion?” you say panting a little.

Charles grins, pulling you close again. You stand in comfortable silence for a moment, gazing at the breathtaking panorama before you. “This place... I found it while I was researching for a weekend getaway. It reminded me of you, strong, beautiful, with a hidden sweetness.”

You lean into him, your head resting on his chest. “And you found it after all this time? You're a terrible navigator, Leclerc.”

He brushes a stray curl away from your face, his heart overflowing with love. “Maybe... But at least I found what I was looking for... And now that I have you, I don't think I'll ever get lost again.”

A blush creeps up your neck as you look up at him, a mischievous glint in your eye. “Don't make promises you can't keep, champion. Remember who navigates you to victory most of the time.”

Charles feigns offense, but his laughter betrays him. He pulls you in for another kiss, a slow, lingering one that speaks of promises made and dreams shared.

As you break away, Charles pulls out his phone, capturing a picture of you two with the breathtaking landscape as a backdrop.

“This is going to look great on Instagram.” he says while looking at the picture.

“Oh, so now you're thinking about social media? What about celebrating our engagement first?” you say swatting his arm playfully.

He wraps his arm around you, pulling you close once again. The sun dips below the horizon, painting the sky in a blaze of orange and purple hues.

“Alright, alright. But after this, I'm holding you to your promise about takeout and movie night, you know, this champion needs to refuel.” he says smiling.

You laugh, the sound echoing across the hills. “It's a deal! But only because you deserve it, future husband.”

You two head back towards the car, hand-in-hand, your shadows stretching long in the fading light. The road ahead may be filled with challenges, but you'll face them together, a team not just on the racetrack, but in life. And as you walk into the future, the promise of your love hangs heavy in the air, a melody written in laughter, stolen kisses, and a diamond ring that glints under the Tuscan sky.

***

The stifling humidity of Singapore hangs heavy in the air, mechanics scurry around the gleaming cars, the pre-race buzz crackling with nervous energy. You and Charles stroll down the paddock, with your fingers intertwined, your faces lit by a shared secret joy.

Suddenly, a voice cuts through the chatter, sharp and laced with sarcasm.

“Well, well, well, look who it is... The future Mr. and Mrs. Ferrari. Congratulations, I guess...” you hear Christian say sarcastically.

You freeze, your smile faltering, Charles tenses beside you, his jaw clenching. Christian stands in front of you, his expression a mask of forced cheer.

“Dad... Hi.” you say with your voice strained.

Charles steps forward, his voice firm. “Actually, Christian, it's Leclerc now...”

Christian's eyes narrow, a flicker of anger sparking in their depths.

“Right, of course Leclerc... The Ferrari defector who stole my daughter's affections.” Christian scoffs.

You step between them, placing a hand on Charles' arm. “Dad, it wasn't like that... We-” you say softly, but he interrupts you.

“And what exactly do you offer her, Leclerc? A life on the road, chasing trophies? Is that what she wants?” he says towards Charles

Charles meets Christian's gaze head-on, his voice unwavering. “More respect than she ever received from you, that's for sure. You never valued her work, her talent... All you saw was an extension of yourself.” he says in a calm way.

You take a deep breath, your voice regaining some of its strength.

“He's right, Dad... We found something special in each other, something you wouldn't understand.”

Christian's face contorts, a mixture of anger and hurt flickering across his features. “You'll regret this, both of you! This is a world of sharks, Leclerc, and she's naive enough to jump in headfirst with you.” he says scathing

Charles steps closer, his voice low and dangerous.

“Y/n is far from naive, she's strong, intelligent, and capable. And you'll see, we'll make a damn good team, both on and off the track.” he says through gritted teeth.

Christian stares at Charles, the anger in his eyes slowly replaced by a grudging respect. He opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out.

You reaches for his hand, a plea for understanding in your eyes. “Dad, please... This isn't about Red Bull or Ferrari, this is about us.”

Christian looks at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, with a sigh, he releases his breath. “Fine. Be happy, but don't expect an easy ride from me.” he says with his voice subdued.

He turns and walks away, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

You let out a shaky breath, tears welling up in your eyes, Charles pulled you into a tight embrace, whispering words of comfort in your ear.

“Don't worry about him, we have each other.” he murmurs.

He rests his chin on your head, your bodies a silent promise against the backdrop of the bustling paddock. You've faced the first hurdle of the engagement, and emerged stronger. The road ahead may still be riddled with challenges, but you'll face them together, a united front against the storm.

***

Charles finishes the Singapore Grand Prix in second place, a decent result but not quite the win they were hoping for. As he steps out of the car, exhausted but proud, he sees you waiting for him by the pit wall.

This time, there's no need for words. He pulled you into a tight embrace, finding solace in your familiar warmth. Together, you face the cameras and the podium celebrations, a team on and off the track.

The future may be uncertain, but one thing is clear: your love, forged in defiance and passion, will continue to be your driving force.

***

A few months later...

Sunlight streams through the window, casting a warm glow over the elegantly decorated room. You sit in front of a large vanity mirror, your reflection staring back at you. You're adorned in a breathtaking white gown, the intricate lace shimmering like moonlight.

But instead of radiating the joy you envisioned, your face is etched with worry. Your fingers fiddle with the diamond pendant around your neck, the one Charles gifted you on your engagement trip.

A soft knock at the door breaks the silence. A beaming Lila, one of your closest friend and bridesmaid, peeks in.

“Y/n? Are you ready?” she whispers.

You jump slightly, forcing a smile. “Almost... Just finishing up some makeup.” you say with a shaky voice.

“Hey, don't worry girl. You look incredible, absolutely stunning.” Lila walks in and close the door.

You let out a shaky breath. “It's just... everything feels so surreal, you know? Like, what if I trip walking down the aisle? What if I mess up my vows?”

She sits beside you. “Y/n you're overthinking it, Charles loves you, completely and utterly. And even if you do stumble or forget something, he'll find it endearing. Besides, you've got this! You're smart, capable, and in love!”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“You're right. I just need to focus on Charles. Everything would be fine!”

A mischievous glint enters Lila's eyes. “Speaking of Charles, I saw him earlier. He looks like a nervous wreck too, pacing back and forth in the groom's room.”

You laughed, a genuine sound that chases away some of your anxiety.

“That figures... Mr. Cool and Collected, a mess of nerves? That's new.” You blushed a little as you imagined Charles walking around as he tried to calm down.

“Love does that to the best of us.” Lila says grinning.

A knock on the door interrupts the two of you. Your mother, eyes filled with pride, enters the room.

“Y/n, you're all grown up! My little girl is getting married.” she said with her voice thick with emotion. You tear up, a wave of love washing over you, your mother pulls you into a tight embrace. “Don't forget, sweetheart, you deserve all the happiness in the world. Don't you ever settle for anything less, okay?” she whispers.

You nodded, tears spilling down your cheeks. As your mother helps you with the final touches of your wedding dress, a sense of calm descends on you... You're ready to face the ceremony, ready to face the future, hand-in-hand with the man that you love and adore.

***

Now you stand backstage, with Christian by your side, a tense silence hangs in the air. He avoids your gaze, his face unreadable.

You take a deep breath, breaking the silence.

“Dad, I know things haven't been easy between us, but...” you say softly but Christian interrupt you.

He finally looks at you, a flicker of something akin to pride in his eyes. “Y/n, you deserve to be happy... And from what I've seen, Leclerc makes you happy.” he says with a gruff voice.

You smile widely, a spark of hope igniting in your heart. It's the first time in two years of your relationship that your father has said something nice about you and Charles, and it obviously gives you the impression that perhaps his heart has softened a little.

“Thank you, Dad... It means a lot to me.” you smile softly at him.

He reaches out and gently squeezes your hand, a silent gesture of acceptance. “Now go out there and show everyone why I'm so damn proud of you... Even if I won't admit it out loud.” you giggled at his words.

***

The sunlight streams through stained-glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colors across the aisle. As the majestic strains of a wedding march fill the air, all eyes turn towards the back of the church.

You stand there, escorted by Christian, and you take a deep breath. You heart thumps a frantic rhythm against her ribs, a mix of excitement and nervousness. You steal a glance at Christian, a silent thank you for walking you down the aisle. A flicker of emotion crosses his face, a hint of pride battling with unspoken regret.

As you two reach the end of the aisle, Charles stands waiting, looking every bit the picture of a dashing groom. His green eyes meet yours, a wave of warmth washing over you, the whole world seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you there.

Christian give you hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. With a shaky breath, you step forward, your eyes locked on Charles' face.

The officiant begins the ceremony, his voice a comforting constant amidst the whirlwind of emotions. As you and Charles exchange rings, a symbol of your love and commitment, a tear rolls down your cheek, Charles reaches out, brushing it away with a gentle touch.

Then comes the time for the vows.

You step forward, your voice and hands trembling slightly. “Charles, from the moment I met you, there was something different about you: a spark, an energy that drew me in. You challenged me, supported me, believed in me when I doubted myself... We've faced challenges together, navigated a world that tried to keep us apart, but our love only grew stronger.” you take a deep breath. “You're not just my teammate, you're my confidante, my best friend, the love of my life... You make me laugh until my sides ache, you hold me up when I'm falling apart, and you inspire me to be a better person every day.” you look into his eyes, your voice filled with love. “I promise to be by your side, through victories and defeats, to celebrate your triumphs and pick you up when you fall. To be your biggest fan, your rock, your partner in everything... Today, I choose you, and every day after.” you finally say.

A tear rolls down Charles' cheek as he takes his turn.

“Y/n, you entered my life like a force of nature, shattering everything I thought I knew about love... You're strong, independent, and brilliant. You pushed me to be a better driver, a better boyfriend, in general... to be a better man.” he says with his voice thick with emotion, then he takes a deep breath. “We've faced storms, navigated uncertainties, and emerged stronger on the other side. You're my teammate, my best friend, my rock. You make me laugh until I cry, calm my anxieties, and inspire me to reach for the stars.” he looks into your eyes, his gaze filled with pure love. “I promise to cherish you, to support you, to love you unconditionally, to be your partner in crime, your shoulder to cry on, your biggest fan... Today, I choose you, and every day after.” he finally says and smiled at you.

The officiant smiles, a warm light in his eyes.

“With these vows exchanged, I now pronounce you husband and wife... You may kiss the bride.”

Charles cups your face in his hands, your gazes locked in a silent promise. As your lips meet, the kiss is filled with love, passion, and the joy of a future you two will build together.

The cheers and applause of the wedding guests are a distant echo. This moment belongs only to you two, a culmination of defiance, love, and a promise whispered against racing engines, secret kisses and stolen glances in the pit lane.

[loaksky]

— 𝒊 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕 | 𝒆. 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒔

collegefwb!ellie x fem college!reader, angst, hurt / minimal comfort, wc: 3.5k

synopsis: you and ellie were a disaster waiting to happen.

content warnings: language, unforgivably mean!ellie (like atrociously mean, this is a REAL warning), toxic situationships / past relationships, brief mentions of sex, side comment about slipandslide, reader experiences loss, internalized grief and mentions of drunk driving / car accidents. please let me know if i miss anything, this one might be a lot !

author’s note: re-posted this after noticing it wasn’t showing in tags! also noticed some of the tlou community requesting some angst gigglegiggle. perhaps this will lead to a second-chance romance expansion in the future…leave your thoughts heh <3 as always, not proofread well!

tagging @vigskrt, don’t hate me for no happy ending this time around </3 i have plans to build this into a full fic ;)

YOUR FRIENDS HAD WARNED YOU.

They’d told you that Ellie Williams wasn’t shit. She was damaged goods and you were willing to pay the price even if it meant a shattered heart broken into a million unmendable pieces.

You’d given her the benefit of the doubt, had held out hope for the first little while of whatever it was between the two of you. You liked to believe that Ellie was tamping down unprocessed emotions, but she’d been adamant that it was all just good fun.

And you were willing to let it go, willing to take it all in stride if it meant having her in any way she’d give herself to you, but you were splintering glass waiting to give any second.

You’ll never forget the night you crumble.

She says it so casually, like she’s making observations about the weather or the swathes of setting skies. You’re sitting on her couch, basking in whatever remnants of the afterglow remains. Because, frankly, if there’s one thing Ellie Williams is good at, it’s pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you.

She’s across the living room, finishing off the blunt you’d politely declined, watching the slow glide of her goldfish in the tank on her console.

“M’bored,” she says simply.

You shift on your side of the couch, watching as she flicks ash in the nearby ashtray.

“You wanna go out?” you offer, glancing at the sunset outside of her window. “We could—”

She huffs out a humorless laugh, takes an extra long pull before stubbing the roach out and turns to face you. Her black tank top is riding up and you blanche when you see the fresh hickey a little south of her belly button.

You definitely hadn’t given it to her, but you aren’t in the mood to argue at the moment.

“I’m bored,” she repeats. “Of this. Whatever this is.”

You breathe out at nervous laugh.

“Oh c’mon, Els.” You stand from the couch, try to close in on her, but she’s shrugging you off as your hands come out to reach for her.

“I’m serious,” she says, tone bland and gaze glazed, equal parts from disinterest and the high kicking in. “It was fun at first, but this is starting to feel like a chore.”

Your chest tightens, tongue drying as you search her face for any tell.

“I don’t understand,” you murmur. “Where’s this coming from?”

Ellie shrugs.

“I’m just bored and this isn’t doing it for me.”

You’ve been wondering why it seemed like she was anywhere else but present the last dozen moments you’ve spent with her. It was always her half-assed agreements of seeing you when you called. Or less than enthusiastic spans of time where she’d seemed annoyed when you weren’t sated after the first comedown and quietly begged for more.

“Is there… Is there someone else?” you swallow. “If there’s someone else, it’s okay. I’ll—”

Ellie barks a mean laugh.

“You’re naive if you think you’re the only one,” she says, and it’s a nasty confirmation of the suspicions you’d had the entirety of your situationship with the girl.

“Why are you doing this?” you whimper, fingers reaching to tangle with hers.

“Fuck, I’m not high enough for this,” Ellie grumbles to herself as she watches your threads unravel.

“You wanna stop seeing me because you’re bored?” you heave. “You wanna stop this ‘cause you’re bored? Ellie, what the fuck?”

“I said it twice already,” she bites, snatching her fingers from your grasp. “And honestly, I’m over all of this. I’m over the clinginess, the neediness, the hope.”

Your breath catches hard in your throat and Ellie’s eyes meet yours for the first time since her declaration.

“Your friends talk, you know?” she says simply. “They beg me to put you out of your misery, say that you’re a great girl for me.”

And you like to think you are. You like to think that Ellie’d learned to love you the way you loved her; unconditionally, passionately, and in her own fucked up way. But you’d obviously been grossly mistaken.

“Am I not?” you whisper. “You mean the world to me, Ellie. I’d do anything for you. I–I lo—”

“Don’t.” She cuts you off sharply. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Ellie, I love you.”

And the silence is palpable. Tag-teams the tears that choke you as you wear your heart on your sleeve.

She sighs deep, scrubs her palms down her face as she screws her eyes shut.

“God, why do you have to make things so fucking difficult?” she groans.

“Me?” you choke incredulously. “We’ve been dancing around these feelings for a year, Ellie! You turn a blind eye, act like we won’t work when all it’d take is just a leap of faith. Why can’t you have faith in me, Els?”

She rolls her eyes, crosses the living room into her bedroom to collect your clothes off her floor.

“This is why we wouldn’t work,” she’d grunts as she stuffs everything into your backpack. “Because you think you know me, think you know how I feel, what I think, what I want. You don’t know me. You know what I let you and we fuck. That’s it.”

Your body shakes hard with emotion, bones vibrating with unshed tears.

“You’re lying,” you accuse. “You’re fucking lying because you’re scared.”

“Oh, fuck off with the shit, ________, please,” Ellie scoffs, shoving your backpack in your arms.

“It’s okay to be scared,” you argue desperately, reaching for her again. “I get it, this is new for you and it’s a lot to process and—”

“We agreed that this was just a good time,” Ellie says, nudging your arm away. “And right now, this isn’t really feeling like a good time. This feels like you trying to fix me, but I’m not going to change. Not for anyone and especially not for you.”

It’s a brutal stab at your feelings and it makes you sick. Because Ellie’s always known. She’d entertained this whole endeavor knowing you were head over heels and there wasn’t a chance in hell she would reciprocate.

“We don’t have to stop seeing each other, Els,” you try, taking in a shuddering breath. “Just— Just give us a shot. We can work through it and—”

“What’s not fucking clicking?” Ellie cuts you off with a pinched expression. “You’re not my fuckin’ therapist, not my girlfriend, and definitely won’t be anything more than a decent lay. I’m not doing this shit with you anymore. Seriously. Have some self-respect.”

The look of annoyance that crosses her face makes you feel like your feelings are the ultimate burden. And the sob that wracks your body rattles you so hard you cough till you feel like your lungs will dissolve.

It’s absolutely fucking humiliating, the way that Ellie grimaces like this is the most inconveniencing thing in her life as of late.

“Dude, just go,” she says sharply, steering you towards the front door. “Block me, I don’t care, just please let this shit go.”

“You’re actually the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing in my life.”

Ellie barely catches the statement, bulky headphones fitted over her auburn hair, but Dina’s brisk movements towards her catches her attention.

It’d be been a week since she’d last seen you, and quite frankly she’d been relatively surprised that you’d heeded her word about leaving her alone. She’d almost been home free. Almost.

“If this is about your friend—”

“Like hell it is,” Dina scoffs. “Are you serious? I can believe you said all that shit to her.”

“I mean, you warned her, didn’t you?” Ellie shrugs her shoulders, hooking her thumbs through her backpack straps. “Sounds like you should be bitching at her for not listening instead of me for keeping it pushing.”

And Ellie almost lets the irritation bubble over, but the look on Dina’s face has shifted, has her swallowing down whatever residual snark is concocting in the back of her brain.

“She’s devastated, Ellie.”

And it’s the same song and dance, Ellie knows it all too well, the bouts of sadness followed by the niggling feeling of numbness. She’s usually nonchalant, doesn’t feel any moral obligation to tie up any loose ends, but she feels the closest thing to guilt when she sees the genuine concern in your friend’s expression.

“Look, I’m sorry she got her feelings hurt, okay?” Ellie sighs defensively. “But everyone knew what this was going in and I can’t be the only asshole here for keeping it real.”

And of course she can’t take accountability, can’t admit that maybe she’d been too harsh on someone as sweet as you.

“Honestly, fuck you. I don’t know why I’m still fucking friends with you,” Dina whispers.

Ellie rolls her eyes.

“C’mon, D, you serious right now?”

“You hurt her so bad she won’t even eat,” Dina says quietly. “All she ever wanted was to make you happy, Ellie. The least you could’ve done was let her down easy.”

“This is fuckin’ bullshit,” she grunts to herself.

“No, Ellie, your attitude is fucking bullshit, your whole fucking outlook on life,” Dina says stonily, shrugging her shoulders and taking a step away. “But I guess you get hurt once, you hurt a hundred times, right?”

“D, don’t—”

“Whatever.” Dina waves her off. “Apologize, don’t apologize, I don’t fucking care.”

After nearly two weeks of trying to mend the wounds Ellie had left, you get the call. It’s during midterms and you feel like the world is splintering.

Your younger sister had been driving home on the way from her shift when she was struck. She’d been pronounced at the scene and you take the first flight back home.

And you don’t know how to feel. Don’t know how to sort through the nasty mix of emotions that threaten to peel you from the inside out and disintegrate you. Losing Ellie was one thing, losing your youngest sister is like cruel fate.

It doesn’t hit you until after the service. When you’re sitting in her bedroom, combing through her admittance letters and thumbing through old family albums. You land on a particularly devastating photograph. One where she’d finally surpassed you in height and she’d leaned down to kiss your cheek.

The tears are spilling as you turn the page and you see collages of holidays, birthdays, and vacations. The one that sends you over the edge is the most recent.

It’d been spring break and your family had gone tubing. The two of you had drifted off and your mother was able to capture the perfect photo of the two of you with your heads thrown back in laughter.

If you recall correctly, you’d confided in her about your troubles with Ellie and, in an attempt to make you feel better, she’d cracked a joke so funny it made you laugh like things could be okay.

In the first moment that every emotion hits you full force and your sister isn’t there to be your rock, she’s there to catch your falling pieces.

Abby Anderson’s a childhood friend, grew up in the same cul-de-sac and moved the opposite way for university. News of your sister’s death had her making the five hour drive and offering you some semblance of comfort in a familiar face.

The two of you sit in silence as you hold the photo album to your chest and cry until your throat is raw and your eyes are nearly swollen shut. Her palm is warm between your shoulder blades, a gentle anchor in the roiling storm.

Ellie’s stoned out of her mind when she pays your dorm a visit a couple of weeks later. The apology’s long overdue, but she’d been too busy sparking up and getting lost in other people to shake the claws you’ve seemingly sunk into her brain.

It’s half past midnight on a Tuesday when she delivers three hard raps against room 202. Another three when no one answers the first time around.

She finally hears shuffling after the third set and the door swings forcefully before the fourth. And it’s definitely not you.

“Y’know it’s almost one AM and a majority of this building has class in the morning, right?”

Ellie’s posture straightens.

“Hello?”

Ellie doesn’t recognize this girl at all, does a double take to make sure she’s got the right room.

“________,” she says. “She around?”

The girl’s face screws up.

“Who?”

Ellie repeats your name.

“Oh, her,” the girl mutters groggily. “She pulled out of school a couple of weeks ago. Whole floor was scrambling to get reassigned to her room.”

“She what?” Ellie balks.

“She dropped out, I guess, I dunno,” the girl shrugs. “All I know was that the school psych handed us pamphlets about mental health and shit after she left.”

If anyone has any information on you, they won’t budge. And Ellie realizes it’s equal parts for your protection and her punishment. She’d been a nervous fucking wreck the remainder of the semester, couldn’t stop searching every corner of the internet for you, but it seems like maybe that night really does click because she’s blocked on every single platform imaginable.

She’d started smoking more, started fucking less, actually showed up to class. Her brain was practically numb a majority of the time, anxiety eating away during her short bouts of sobriety.

And god, if she had to admit that she’d learned her fucking lesson, had to admit that losing you was agonizing, she would if it meant seeing you again. Even from a distance.

Because she’ll be honest for once in admitting that she fucking misses you. Misses you so much it’s disgusting. And she doesn’t miss the way you make her feel, or the sex, or any of the things you offer her, she misses you.

Craves to see your sunny smile, yearns to feel the way your body nestles perfectly against hers. And your laugh, god your laugh, boisterous and consuming. She’d always told you it was obnoxious, but nothing could crack a smile faster than you throwing your entire body away from her and cackling till you wheeze.

And this is more traumatizing than any previous relationship that made her swear off love altogether. Your disappearance and your absence makes her feel like she’s going insane, like she’s grasping at straws to keep it together.

Mercifully, the semester ends, but summer oozes like viscous torture. And when fall sem of senior year rolls around, she holds out on hope, just needs to tell you that she knows she fucked up and she’s sorry.

But fall is quiet. Winter is quieter and the holidays feel mundane even surrounded by her loved ones.

“Everything okay at school, kiddo?” Joel’s never been one to poke around, just a silent supporter in the midst of Ellie’s growing pains.

Ellie nods, leaning over the railing.

“S’alright,” she shrugs. “It’s school.”

Joel ponders for a moment, looks like he doesn’t want to pry, but his youngest is his soft spot.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” he drawls softly. “I know you better than you think. Know that something’s botherin’ you.”

Ellie hesitates, but decides to bite back her fears. It’s the least she could do for you.

“You ever hurt someone so bad you don’t know how to fix it?” she swallows.

Joel takes in a deep breath, then takes Ellie in.

“You want an honest answer?”

“Please,” she breathes.

“Sometimes you just have to deal with the repercussions of hurting somebody,” Joel says. “Closure is always nice but never guaranteed and the lack thereof is your punishment.”

It does feel an awful lot like punishment, Ellie thinks.

And Ellie learns that the universe can be unforgivable.

Learns as much when she catches a glimpse of you at the campus bookstore when all the students return from winter break.

She nearly drops her stack of books, scurries across the store in half as many strides before her fingers are wrapping around your bicep.

“Holy shit,” she whispers. “It’s actually you.”

You’d been caught so off guard, you barely process the emotions that begin to filter through you, especially when she engulfs you in a bone-crushing hug and rocks you like she’ll never let you go.

“I can’t breathe,” you squeak, hands snaking between your bodies to give her a gentle push.

“Sorry, fuck, I’m sorry,” Ellie blabbers. “For that, for everything, for—”

“It’s, uh, it’s fine,” you say cooly and Ellie’s staring like you’ve sprouted two heads.

Because it’s absolutely not fine. You’d left school for a year and returned looking like a whole new person. Your cheeks are hollow, eyebags prominent, lips chapped. It’s like the past eight months has sucked the life out of you.

“Christ, are you serious right now?” Ellie asks incredulously.

She doesn’t realize how many emotions she’d kept pent up until her vision is clouding and your expression is falling.

“I broke your fucking heart and you scared the shit out of me when you disappeared and I— I thought— I…”

Ellie’s chest is tightening and she feels like she’s gonna throw up when you let out a short breath.

“What, you thought I offed myself?” you ask with a hollow laugh.

“I don’t know what I fucking thought,” Ellie’s voice cracks, and it’s the most emotion you’ve seen from her in the time you’ve known her. “All I knew was that one minute I was seeing you almost everyday and then suddenly, you fell off the face of the Earth and I’d never missed someone so much in my life and I fucking hated every single moment—”

“My little sister passed,” you say simply.

And fuck, she doesn’t expect that.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you whisper. “You definitely fucked me up but there was a lot more to me leaving.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Everything okay?” A tall, buff blonde interjects.

It’s subtle, the way the girl’s palm slides to gently fit between your shoulder blades and Ellie’s going rigid.

“Yeah,” you respond, smile soft and familiar.

Ellie’d been on the receiving end once upon a time, and she nearly retches when you shift closer to the girl.

“This is Ellie,” you introduce. “An old classmate.”

The girl gives Ellie a once over, then a pensive smile.

“You ready to check out?” she asks you.

Ellie watches as you give her the upper level philosophy textbook and thinks that it’s fitting, your area of study.

“I’ll be up in a second, just gonna say bye,” you assure her.

She’s gazing down at you for a moment too long, lips curling into a wider smile as she nods in understanding and Ellie has to stop herself from recoiling.

Old habits die hard because she’s picking a fight despite her better judgment.

“So, I’ve been worried fucking sick over you for the past year but you were with someone else this entire—”

“Don’t do that, Ellie,” you say softly. “We’re friends. She helped me a lot through losing Dev.”

“If you called—”

“If I called, what, Ellie?” you ask seriously, but not unkindly.

You’re fed up, frankly.

“I would’ve been there,” Ellie says firmly, then whispers, “I would’ve fucking been there.”

“Would you have really?” you breathe a short laugh through your nose. “Last time we spoke I told you I loved you and you told me to have some self-respect.”

Ellie winces.

“I’ve thought about it,” she swallows.

You only blink up at her.

“It’s all I could think about since last spring, but…” she trails off, searches your face for courage because she’s so fucking scared. “What you said, the last time we spoke.”

“I said a lot of things,” you reply candidly.

“That we could work through it if I gave us a shot,” Ellie murmurs, running her fingers through her overgrown hair. “And I know I’m late—”

“Yeah, no shit,” you say flatly and Ellie flinches.

“But I want us to work and—”

“No.”

And the wind’s knocked from her lungs, makes her stomach wrench.

“And it’s not because I don’t love you anymore,” you say gently. “But because losing Dev taught me to love myself more.”

Ellie’s throat bobs.

“I can’t keep cutting myself down to accept what you feel like giving me,” you say. “Because I won’t take you having me one hundred percent and deciding to give me 10 on the days when the going gets tough. And don’t say you won’t because we’ve already done that shit with no labels.”

Being absolutely read makes Ellie feel infinitely more like shit because she’s never heard such a sound declaration of your unbridled feelings.

“I’m not losing you again,” Ellie whispers vehemently.

“You don’t have to,” you say softly, visibly withdrawing from the conversation. “I’ll always be in your corner rooting for you. But I can’t give you anymore than that. I won’t.”

“Wait, please, I—”

“I gotta go,” you say, peeling away. “Abby’s waiting.”

“Babe, c’mon.”

“I’ll see you around, Ellie,” you bid her, sparing her one final glance. “Take care of yourself.”

neng©️2023

[mollysunder]

For once I actually went through the Arcane AMA and found those quotes about Silco's motivation. It's kind of wild to see it in full context.

First, I didn't even know the "dirty little thing" insecurity was an agreed upon perspective, I just thought it was one writer's opinion but no, Christian Linke (Praeco) let us know that was Silco's thing. Ok. I can see how that can tie in to how Silco and Jinx connected, personal insecurities from a hard life.

But then Amanda Overton (leeloo104) goes into detail.

I already know the creative team said they don't think political struggle is "relatable" (yikes), but I've never seen this extra tidbit before!

What do you mean this all so Vander will respect Silco again?!!??!? First of all I could really go in about how Arcane's team seem incapable of having any character fully articulate an actual in-depth explanation about on their grievances with the status quo and what changes should be applied that isn't somehow about familial validation. *looks at Jinx*

Instead, we need unpack how this motivation is at best, very weird, or flat out doesn't make sense. The quote makes it sound like Zaun was fully Silco's idea to win back Vander's love and respect, but Silco said a free Zaun was their shared dream. And regaining Vander's respect seems like a moot point when Silco killed Vander.

Unless Silco knows Vander isn't dead, and that Singed's been slowly turning Vander into Warwick. But then why does he talk to the Vander statue like Vander is dead? I don't doubt Silco wouldn't visit Warwick even in Warwick's confused state. Either way, the Vander that Silco wanted to receive validation from doesn't exist anymore.

I get that they probably wanted to connect Silco's motivation to Jinx's obsession with Vi, but that can be problematic too! It just ends up where Silco and Jinx are written in a way where their search for emotional validation takes precedence over any attempt for them to communicate a coherent and detailed observation on the surrounding politics of their environment.

It would be one thing if they were minor characters, or this was just related to Jinx because she's the youngest in the cast and her story is about understanding who she is. But it's both of them, Silco's at least in his forties, and they're a part of the main cast. On top of that, I'd say their the two most politically influential Zaunites in the cast, and we know NOTHING about what they stand for, what they think the future should look like. Nothing, just vibes.

[loveemagicpeace]

🩵Ace Of Cups Part 1🩷

🫧Pisces placements can make you feel like they are something they are not. Their changes are always unusual or sudden. Let's say michael jackson - pisces asc - his skin color change was all of a sudden and there were many rumors - what was supposed to be the reason for the skin change, but no one knew exactly what it was in reality. His death was also unexpected and strange.

🧜🏽‍♀️Mars in 12th house-when you are alone u are in your best energy. Because then you only have your own energy and you can relax. In fact, the energy of others can quickly start to bother you. When u are with people u can have low energy. You have many hidden talents that people don't know about.

🔥Mars in fire sign- the most random people i know like they will text u in the middle of the night and ask you if you have time to hang out. You can always see that they have the craziest ideas that they remember spontaneously.

🌳Gemini moon can be way more moody than cancer moon. Gemini moon many times show their emotions outwards - as if their face says how they feel. They also need mental stimulation and to talk about how they feel.

🧚🏼‍♀️The reason why I love cancer moon is because they are needy and they will need you always. They will be there for u. And you will be their favorite person. I can say without a doubt that this is one of those moons that will always put you first and always choose you. They do a lot for you and always notice how you feel. No moon can compare to this and you can fight me over this.

❤️‍🔥Sagittarius are independent and know how to do things on their own and travel on their own and search for their meaning in life, but inside they want to do all this with a person, they just don't talk about it out loud. Leo placements act very proud, self-confident, untouchable, strong, but in reality they hide sadness inside. They always want to be strong and show their sunny side, but they want someone to be that strong for them too.

🐚Pisces placements are such a giving sign & I love it. This can be seen a lot with machine gun kelly how much he does for his fans and how honest he is with them. I really like his genuine energy. They give a lot to people and want people to feel their energy as well.

☀️Aries rising - they really know how to focus on themselves, you can see the energy they carry and how they know how to do things themselves. They know how to be alone (in a way that they don't need other people). They can live completely on their own, and they're fine with that. They also give a lot of space to the person they are with.

🧁Venus shows how you act in a relationship. So if you have fire venus you will always want passion and action in a relationship. You will love the romantic drama many times. If you have water venus you will always want depth, connection and intensity. If you have air venus you will want communication, interest and something to dream about. If you have earth venus you will always want stability and practicality.

🩷Venus in 12th house - these people often idealized love or the person they like. They dream a lot about this person and think about what a relationship with this person would be like. Many times I also notice that they like love poems, pictures or spiritual things or things that are cute. For them, love is always cute & soul connection. They want someone with whom they can share their soul with.

🪴Mercury in 12th house- many times I notice that they have problems with communication or expression (in the sense that they say things that are not understandable or say something in such a way that you don't know what they meant). I was talking to a guy and he seemed totally confused over the messages, but then in person it was completely different. It's like he's speaking his mind, I don't know how to describe it.

🩵Mercury in 8th house synastry - can sometimes act like the person is reading your mind and your energy. It's like telling you what you think, and it can be really scary sometimes haha. As if they know what you want. Also u can read person’s energy just from looking at their eyes.

💘When someone has virgo & leo placements - they will tell u they love u in a anxious way but they still be dominant about it and it so fucking cute. Leos won't admit their feelings if they don't really love you.

🌙Taurus moon uses the word “boring”a lot in pictures. And many times they post music on story. But many times I notice that they will either publish a lot or not at all. They like privacy and are often more introverted. I also often notice that they like to spend time in the park or meet someone and go for a walk or something similar.

-Rebekah🫧🩵

[honey-writes-sometimes]

Random romance headcanons for the Lin Kuei Brothers

what do they search on a partner, how are dates with them, that sort of stuff

I tried to make this headcanons as accurate to what i think these characters would do canonlly

(I accidentally posted my draft but now i finished it, still learning how to write and use tumblr)

Kuai Liang/Scorpion

>Kuai Liang is an honourable grandmaster, he puts humbleness and passion over other traits. he is looking for someone with honour, kind and selfless, with the will to complete their goals, without sacrificing anyone in the process

>he prefers a peaceful person, one that he can spend quiet and tranquil nights with, he is a quiet person himself, he loves soft and peaceful chats, your voice calms him down and talking to you is the perfect way for him to distress

>he doesn't mind if you are in the Shirai Ryu or not, but he will consider you as a valuable ally to his clan, a loyal and truthful counselor, but it will sweep him off his feet if you decide to help him and the Shirai Ryu with their goals

>dates with him are difficult to have, he is the grandmaster of the Shirai Ryu, he often goes on missions or stays up late doing tasks or errands for the clan, training his initiates and ninjas too, Kuai Liang has little time for himself, but when he does he spends it with you, most likely in bed talking and staying up late playing with your hair, he loves late night talks with you, it soothing and comforting for him

>as for gifts, he will gift you meaningful things, he can gift you flowers or beautiful jewelry with gemstones and every single one has their own meaning, if he misses you he will send you forget-me-nots which means that he doesn't want you to forget about him or if he comes back to you after a long mission he will bring lilies of the valley with him, because it means the return of his happiness. he uses his gifts to communicate his feelings

>Kuai Liang is not really a jealous man, he acknowledges his negative feelings and doesn't let them get in his head, he is not one to do any sudden act or dramatic scene out of jealousy, he will talk to you about his feelings, try and make you understand why he feels the way he does, i picture him as the most emotionally mature out of his brothers

>he doesn't like PDA, he is a grandmaster and tries to maintain a honourable and diplomatic image, not that his love for you is not honourable its just he doesn't want others to see him being vulnerable to you, his vulnerability is a side of him that only his loved ones know of, specially you, and he likes to keep it that way, he secretly loves the fact that only you can tear down all his walls and see him when he is most vulnerable

>he makes it up to you when you finally get time alone, he will hold you tight and whispers sweet words in you ears, he will kiss your jawline and temple between his words, and so sweetly too, he will reassure any doubt you have, comfort your feelings, ease down your anxiety, to wash down any negative feeling you feel, he doesn't mind being the one to hold you or comfort you, he feels happy to be the one to spoil you

>a relationship with Kuai Liang its something that keeps you yearning for him, to have more time with him, he is so close and yet out of reach because of his duties as a grandmaster, but he does his best to return home safe to you,

Bi-Han/Sub-Zero

>Bi-Han is a disciplined, cold and ambitious person, he doesn't mind making sacrifices to accomplish his goals. he wants a person that is decisive and disciplined like him by his side

>he wants a partner that is decisive, confident and determinated. a person that is fully capable of giving orders, he wants a partner that will join and lead the Lin Kuei alongside him, like his father and mother did. to him having a partner means working in a team to accomplish both your goals

>he wants you to join the Lin Kuei, he thinks if you are going to dedicate and expend the rest of your life with him you'll need to become a member of the Lin Kuei, it means that you are dedicated and loyal to him, alongside his goals and aspirations, he sees it as a sign of not only respect but devotion and love aswell

>if dates with Kuai Liang are rare, is even worse with Bi-Han, he is as busy as Kuai Liang if not more, he is busy even late at night, he comes to bed in midnight, if you fall asleep before his arrival, he will prepare himself for bed and cuddle with you, even if he won't admit it he loves having you close, its his way of apologizing for having little time for you. if you stay awake to wait for him it would make his cold heart flutter but he will scold you, saying that your need for proper rest comes before him, and you shouldn't sacrifice it for him

>Bi-Han is not much of giving you gifts out of emotions, but out of necessity and need, he will keep an eye on you, do you need hygiene products? Health care products? Skin care products? He has you covered, he will sent his men to bring you everything you need, or what you say you need, he demonstrates his love by taking care of your necessities

>Bi-Han is not a jealous man either but he is protective, overprotective even, if Sektor or any other Lin Kuei tries to convince you to participate in the Cyber Lin Kuei project Bi-Han will tell cut them off immediately, and coldly scold them, he doesn't want you to be involved in overly dangerous Lin Kuei business. you will rule by his side, aid him, share victories and glory with him, but he will never let you make the same sacrifices he or other Lin Kuei members do, you are too important to him to let you

>no PDA, like never, he hates being vulnerable in general terms but more so in public, he wants to keep a cold and intimidating exterior, he is the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, and he wants others to respect him, being it out of fear or admiration, he doesn't want others to see that you are his soft spot either, he fears people may use you against him

>even when you are alone, it is difficult for Bi-Han to let down his walls and fall apart in your arms, sience he was little he thought feelings like vulnerability made him weak, so he pushed these feelings aside, he thought it was the best for him, but thankfully he is slowly healing from that, you are making him heal, teaching him to be vulnerable to you, because you will never take advantage of him in this state

>being in a relationship with Bi-Han is rather hard, like with Kuai Liang being grandmaster has its duties, and they are heavy, plus his trauma doesn't help eiter, but if you manage to see pass and help him heal, step by step he will finally let you see that he is actually very devoted to you, he will do anything for you, he will kill for you if you needed, he would bring the world on their knees for you if you asked him to, he doesn't mind sacrificing anything or anyone to make you happy, because you make his cold heart beat with passion again

Tomas Vrbada/Smoke

>Tomas is one of the most kindest soul out of the mortal kombat characters, he emerged of his tragedies as a genuine and caring person. he is looking for someone as kind as him, he doesn't like petty, rude or troublesome people

>he is attracted to kindness, compassion, humbleness and anything between those lines, he doesn't mind if you are loud or quiet, shy or confident, introverted or extrovert, as long as your actions are good and honourable ones and you treat people right

>don't ever expect expensive gifts or dates from him, he is a humble person, he belives love relies on thought itself, he can bring you a couple of flowers he picked off the ground because they reminded him of you or just write you a letter of how he feels about you, even if his gifts are small he gives them to you with all his heart

>like his brothers, he doesn't have that much time with all the tasks he has because of the Shirai Ryu, training his initiates or going on missions, but he always tries to make time for you, and when he does he prefers dates at home or places where there is little to no people, he also prefers when you two make the food together, so cooking with you or going to picnics with you are his favourite type of dates, he also loves stargazing with you

>Tomas is not a jealous person most of the time, he often tries to ignore the feeling, but if it affects him too much he would get self-conscious and insecure, probably trying to avoid you while he cleans his thoughts, he thinks his jealousy is immature of his part, you need to reassure him and validate his feelings because no one ever really did that for him

>he is not big on PDA, does more than his brothers thought, he can hold your hand, hug you or compliment you in public, but nothing pass that. he doesn't like when people see you two being so vulnerable and loving, the love you two feel are just for you both, no one else. he also doesn't like the idea of other gossiping about your demonstrations of affection, he thinks it will give you trouble and he doesn't want to be a burden to you at all

>when you are alone he would show you how much he loves you, satisfy your needs, spoil you, and will do what he can to accomplish every desire you have, but with one condition, you must do the same for him. he is not the type to be happy with only giving or only receiving, you both should give and receive love equally, so spoil him with love too, he can get quite needy and eager for you love, he loves when you spoil eachother rotten

>a relationship with Tomas is a slow burn type of love, not rushed, he wants to experience your relationship at your own pace, step by step, he will kiss you for the first time or sleep with you for the first time when he feels that you are both ready to take that step on your relationship, even if he is ready and eager to try new things with you, he won't tell until he feels you are ready too, he will always wait for you it doesn't matter how much time, he will wait an eternity for you, if it meant he finally gets to be yours

[fabricated-misslieness]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: sully kids x hard of hearing metkayina male reader (platonic)

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: In a search for a way to communicate with you, the family has to master Na'vi sign language. Along the way of teaching them, however, you learn more about yourself.

ᴀɴᴏɴ: can you do a male Metkayina clan reader BUT the reader is hard of hearing because of the water from swimming.

ʀᴇ𝐐: yes ~ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 6148 ~ extra ~ gn reader vers.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: feelings of shame and embarrassment, struggling to hear and understand people (and yourself), hints of angst

ᴍᴀʏʙ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: we don't have resources for their exact sign language so i made some things up (since na'vi sign language isn't the same as asl) as well as iknimaya trials and traditions.

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Ever since you were a kid, you had always loved the ocean. The Metkayina clan was a tribe of the water, the ocean, so it made sense; but unlike others your age who preferred to play with each other, you enjoyed being completely surrounded by Eywa's children within the ocean.

You had no qualms with solitude, as all you needed was the sea; but eventually, it proved to be a problem.

The sea gives and the sea takes; it gave you a world to love and took your hearing.

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Tsireya introduced you to Sully's in their first lesson as one of the Metkayina who truly loved the ocean. "This is our best free diver," She put a hand on your shoulder, "(y/n). You're lucky I managed to find him."

Instead of responding in some negative way at her comment, you grin and offer a small wave.

"How so?" Lo'ak questions.

Tsireya doesn't answer outright. She giggles, "You'll see."

The chief's children and you jump into the water, demonstrating the proper way to dive in that best transitions into swimming. The Sully's, on the other hand, jump into the water as though in play.

You could see it in their eyes, their amazement. The sea was an entirely different world from the one above, it was something you loved about it.

Only the Na'vi and their animal companions mingled on the coast above. The ilu could be compared to their banshees, nothing special; and the people, though physically different, were still Na'vi.

You didn't doubt that these water creatures were unlike anything they'd seen before, and you were happy that they were astonished with the wildlife you, too, loved.

You turn back forward to swim, knowing that they'll follow. You show them the form, using your tail to help and keeping your body like a spear to be able to cut through the water.

You lead them deeper into the sea, but Ao'nung taps your shoulder. You turn to follow his finger, which points up.

The Sully's were taking a breath of air. Right, that's probably something you should teach them, but you were probably not the best teacher.

Within the water, your safe haven, you tended to forget many things, so you signed to them, keep going, forgetting they didn't know how to sign.

You keep swimming, this time checking up on them as you reach an underwater slope. They were bad swimmers, it seemed, which is an idea sort of incomprehensible to you, as every Metkayina was basically born in the ocean. They pushed off of coral and rock formations to push forward and keep up.

They don't even make it to you when they go back up for air.

What's wrong with them? Ao'nung signs.

They're bad divers. Rotxo replies. Though fingers and hands hardly conveyed emotion, you knew from Rotxo and Ao'nung's generally jokester demeanor that he was making fun of them.

Stop, they're learning. Tsireya scolds.

Whilst they talk to one another, you get distracted with something out of the corner of your eye. It was bioluminescence, hardly noticeable during the daytime, which is why it's so curious. You forget the lesson at hand and follow it.

The chief's children and Rotxo swim up to talk to the Sully's where they will actually understand each other. It is only after Tsireya promises to teach them sign language, which Neteyam ignorantly describes as "finger talk", that they notice you and their dear sister's disappearance.

The bioluminescence you had caught came from a lone hammerhead squid, which is even more peculiar because it was alone. Perhaps it was paranoid, because when it saw you, it began swimming away with determination.

You struggle to catch up with it.

It dives behind large coral, hoping to lose you, but you always catch up. Hammerhead squids found safety in numbers, so they usually didn't go so fast, which means it would tire out soon.

Knowing this, you kept up the chase. Regardless, however, it puts up a good fight.

It shoots out its ink prematurely. The black liquid disperses in the water, clouding much of the view ahead of you. Instead of swimming through it, you dive under, although you almost bump into a sharp rock. Narrowly, you avoid it, swimming up quickly once you're past the ink.

Though you move past it, its original outcome–clouding your view–succeeds. When you clear the ink, you suddenly bump into someone.

Sorry. You sign, rubbing at your forehead where you'd bumped into her, so so sorry.

The girl before you is one of the Sully's. Her eyebrows furrow, confusion in her face, but you misinterpret it as anger. Great, it's the Sully's first day in the clan and you were already giving bad impressions.

I didn't mean to bump into you.

Her eyebrows furrow further. Ultimately, although she doesn't like it, she decides to surface so that the two of you may speak. She points up and you understand.

Once you're up at the surface, she says, "I don't know what you're saying."

You had long since memorized the way one's mouth moves when they say those words, and their variations, so you explain, "I was apologizing for bumping into you."

Though the next couple words come muddled to you, you just barely catch her saying "alright" and a wave of relief washes over you. "What's your name?"

"Kiri." She gives you a polite smile.

"Nice to meet you, Kiri." You nod. "I didn't realize we'd lost you while diving. Why'd you wander off?"

"Oh, I um," She worries that you may think her a freak, so she waters it down. "I got distracted."

You chuckle, "Yeah, I get it. Happens a lot to me too. It's like a different world, isn't it?"

Her face lights up when you agree with her, "Yeah, it is." She ached to observe it again, to be surrounded by Eywa'eveng. "Do you mind if I..?" She gestures down.

You tilt your head, confused. "You what?"

"Go down again." Kiri mutters, little ashamed to say out loud that she'd rather be underwater than talk with you, but you manage to read her lips.

"Oh, of course I don't." You shake your head, "Actually, I was in the middle of finding something. Do you wanna come with?"

Though she much preferred to take the sights all in on her own and on her own time, she had to admit your offer was interesting. "Okay, sure." She nods.

Kiri follows you back underwater, and keeps swimming after you. Reminded of the other Sully's, you make sure to keep your head straight and swim at a slower pace.

As you keep swimming past large coral and columns of algae, trying to catch a glimpse of the squid you were searching for before, Kiri gets distracted by something particularly special out of the corner of her eye.

She stays in place, entranced, and almost swims for it before remembering the task at hand. However, when she turns to you, you're swimming back to her.

Txampaysye. You sign, but of course she wouldn't understand. So, you wave your hand in the water to create ripples in the current and signify the water. Then, you pass a hand from your stomach to your throat and out your mouth to signify breathing. Breathing underwater.

Somehow, she understands. Though the butterfly-like Txampaysye catches her attention, uncharacteristically of her, she gestures for you to keep going. She'll have time another day.

Just a bit of swimming later, you find the squid again. It doesn't notice you. You point at it and Kiri's head tilts with curiosity.

How could a squid be bioluminescent in the day? The sunlight's rays still reached it.

Do you want to catch it? You closed your hand, from splayed fingers into a fist very quickly, the sign for catch. It was pretty straight forward, so Kiri understood; what she didn't understand, and what she was against, was the idea.

The question was only formal. You swim forward without waiting for her answer, thinking she wanted to catch it.

You approach it as silently as possible, keeping your arms to your body and swaying up and down, using your feet like a fin. You keep your tail rigid and in place, for paddling it side to side as opposed to up and down like your legs would create unnecessary noise.

Once you are close enough, you lunge with a quick, sharp movement. It doesn't have time to react before you catch it between your fingers and palm.

Triumphantly, you turn to Kiri with your hand raised, failing to notice her growing anger. You swim towards her with enthusiasm.

Fyìp ioang. You sign.

For a moment you think you may be misinterpreting confusion as anger again, but you quickly realize you're interpreting correctly. Kiri pries your fingers apart, freeing the creature who spurts the last of its ink (only a little) and leaves.

Her eyebrows are furrowed, a look you hate, and she points up towards the surface again. You follow, embarrasment beginning to spread through your body.

"You shouldn't be taking animals against their will." She scolds, pointing an accusatory finger at you. Her anger was loud and clear in her voice, loud enough for you to hear.

"Sorry." You purse your lips and mumble so low you can't even hear it yourself, "I was only curious."

She huffs, "Your curiosity doesn't mean you can imprison them just to poke and prod."

"Yeah," You point your gaze down, "you're right."

"Just don't do it again." With that, she begins to swim away, not caring if you follow her.

With shame, you dive back into the water, in search of one of your favorite places to soothe yourself.

She was right, of course, but your curiosity was often one of your driving points. It was why you spent most of your time in the ocean, what kept you entertained underwater. On the other hand, it was also why you'd lost so much of your hearing.

☾⋆☆⋆☽

The next morning, on their way to their second lesson, the Sully's find you.

Lo'ak, after yesterday, now understands why Tsireya was lucky to find you before. He thinks they're pretty lucky today, too, as it seems you're going to head into the ocean. "(y/n)!" He calls for your attention, but you don't hear him.

You're just about to dive in, so Lo'ak hurries up to meet you. He catches you by the shoulder. "Hey."

"Hey." You greet him with a smile. "What's up?"

"You left us yesterday. Where'd you go?" He asks curiously.

"I'm sorry, what?" You ask, having not heard him entirely.

"Where'd you go?" He repeats.

Again, you don't hear him. You purse your lips, the shame of not being able to understand people creeping in. "Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you."

"Where did you go?" Lo'ak repeats for the third time, slowing down his speech.

"Look, I'm really sorry–"

Neteyam catches up, slinging an arm over Lo'ak's shoulder. "What my brother means to ask is where you went yesterday, when you were supposed to be teaching us."

"Teach you?" You tilt your head as you think. Did the Olo'eyktan assign you something? Tsireya only took the opportunity because she saw you yesterday. You can't think of anything, though. "What am I supposed to teach you?"

Lo'ak sighs, "When you were teaching us how to free dive?"

The sigh makes you purse your lips. Your stupid ears were making people frustrated again. Still, you couldn't say anything when you didn't understand them. "...what about it?"

Tsireya comes to save you, noticing the struggle between you and the Sully's. "(y/n), here," She begins, pushing Lo'ak's hand off your shoulder, "struggles to hear, if you guys haven't noticed."

She signs to you, taking advantage of the fact they don't know how to sign. Do you want them to know your story?

You shake your head, to which she nods.

"It'd be much appreciated if you guys spoke louder, spoke clearer, and moved your mouths wider." She demonstrates the way they should speak as she instructs them. "It helps him to be able to read your lips until you learn how to sign."

"So he can hear us?" Lo'ak asks.

"Barely." You respond, reminding him that you are in fact in this conversation.

Neteyam nods, rubbing a burn into his brother's scalp. "Sorry, Lo'ak needs to remember these sorts of things."

"Shut up, bro." He pushes his brother away, causing him to skid sideways a few paces.

"(y/n), you would be a great help in teaching them sign language." Tsireya turns to you, signing as she speaks.

You understand, but you purse your lips. "Today? I sort of wanted to explore..."

"Doesn't have to be today, no," She shakes her head, "today is about breathing. If you want to leave, that's perfectly alright."

She smiles at you. Oh, Eywa, you loved Tsireya. She was so kind.

You take her permission and give a wave before diving into the water.

You swim farther into the ocean, trying to wash off your embarrassment with the cool water. It burned in your cheeks, anyway.

When the Olo'eyktan and Tsahìk found out about your hearing loss, you had already reached a point where there was no way to be healed. Everyone blamed your parents, their neglect for your ears and the proper care after a swim. But in truth, you knew you were also to blame.

It had been a long time since you were a burden. The Metkayina accommodated for your hearing loss. You were lucky to be born in the clan who originated the language that didn't require hearing. You had long since come to a comfortable life because of it.

When you realize that the embarrassment won't wear off so easy, you lay down on the sea grass covered sand—or lay down as best you can. The current pushes your head and limbs up.

Your intent was to relax, but the bioluminescent squid from yesterday pops up above you. You react quickly, reaching out and trapping it in your hand again.

You. You sign, awkward because you're one-handed, You embarrassed me in front of Kiri.

You'd missed two of its tentacles in grabbing it. It crosses its arms, giving you attitude, then pointed at you instead. Somehow, you understand.

Alright, fine. You huff, It's my fault. You release the squid, but this time it lingers. You forgive me?

It waves two of its tentacles up and down as if to nod its head.

You pluck a small fish from its school and hand it over as an extra peace offering. Sorry, fyìp.

It stares blankly at your offering. Clearly, it was refusing it, because it was definitely capable of catching that fish on its own. Also, you were ignoring the lesson Kiri taught you. You release the fish, which scurries back to its school, signing sorry again.

Why do you want to hang out with me?

The tentacles at its sides raise up in a shrug.

You lost your group. You purse your lips, extending your hand so that the squid may sit on it, even if it is redundant underwater. Are you trying to find a new one?

It shrugs again, though accepts the spot you give it on your hand.

Well, I suppose we're the same in that. You and I, we're special. I'm hard of hearing, and you're bioluminescent. You laugh inwardly, Although, those are two different things.

Fyìp does a twirl in your hand. It seems pleased.

Alright, let's go. I'll show you some of my favorite places.

☾⋆☆⋆☽

After the Sully's breathing exercises, Neteyam is eager to find you. He dives into the water, both practicing his breathing and speed.

For the third time, he's lucky to find you returning to the village for dinner, this time you were fortunately not caught up in exploring the sea.

Neteyam waves his hand in greeting. You do the same, though you hadn't realized he had more to say.

(y/n). He signs.

Immediately, your eyes light up. Neteyam is delighted.

Who taught you that? You sign. Your hands are a flurry of speed, but he manages to catch the words anyway.

He recognized "you" and "taught" and the distinct lack of "I", so he can assume what you asked. Tsireya. He signs simply, for she hadn't taught him much more than that and your names.

I'll teach you too.

He recognizes "I", "teach", and "you", and understands. He nods excitedly, then points up towards the surface. You follow.

"You're learning." You grin as you surface.

"Yeah." His smile turns bashful, "I want to learn so I can talk to you better." He even exaggerates the movement of his lips so that you may read them.

"Aww, that's sweet." Though you've only known him for so long, you give him a hug. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me." He shakes his head, still holding your elbows gently even as you part from the hug, "It's just what I should do."

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Oh, you skxawng! You're late, you're late, you're late!

Too caught up within the serenity that the sea brought you, you had forgotten that you were supposed to be teaching the Sully's sign language!

You swim towards the shore with much hurry. Your body was preoccupied with a mission, to get there fast, and your mind was berating you for being stuck in your head so much. Because of it, you're not exactly focusing on the world around you.

"Oof!" You grunt as you bump into a column. It was one of the ones that supported the Marui pods above.

You pull yourself up onto your elbows on the pathway between pods, spitting out the water you'd caught in your mouth when you bumped so stupidly into a column.

Your squid friend jumps up too, sticking to your leg then climbing up to your shoulder. Its sticky tentacles feel weird on your skin, but you pay it no mind. Instead, you focus on cradling the spot on your forehead where you collided.

When Fyìp lands on your shoulder, you turn to it with a huff and go back to rubbing your head. Then, once you actually notice, you double take back to it.

"You can go above the surface?"

Now, no longer muffled by the water, you can just barely catch its squeal. Huh, so it was making sound all this time.

It twirls around your shoulder as if to say yes.

You turn your head back forward, resting your chin on the pathway. "I'm so stupid–wait." The Sully's and the chief's children are having the lesson quite a few ways ahead of you. They didn't seem to notice you. "It's them."

Fyìp's eyes almost seem to light up when it sees Kiri.

"Gah, should I really be joining them now? I'm so late!" You frown, thinking it over. "I'd be so lost," You narrate your thoughts for Fyìp, "every time I think about something to teach, what if they already taught it? What even is their teaching plan? I shouldn't have gone out today. Should've stayed to talk to Tsireya."

Thanks to your awful hearing and tunnel-vision, you don't notice Fyìp yapping in your ear. Only when it slaps you on the shoulder–it was a small animal, hardly hurt–do you pay attention to it.

"What?" You whine, now rubbing your shoulder.

Fyìp points forward vigorously, pulling its tentacle forwafd and back repeatedly.

"It'll be so embarrassing."

It crosses its arms in front of itself like a no. Even though you're sure it will be, Fyìp's insistence reminds you of your promise to Neteyam. It wasn't broken just yet.

"Okay, fine."

At your affirmation, Fyìp drops back into the water. You follow suit.

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Learning a new language, later in your life, was always hard. Although, Jake Sully was the only one in his family with that experience.

"Lo'ak, why are you home early?" Jake and Neytiri rush over to him, sitting down as he does.

"Sign language is so hard." Lo'ak groans, his head down.

"Learning another language is hard," Jake affirms, putting a reassuring hand on his son's shoulder. "but it's like everything else. With practice, you'll get the hang of it."

"At first, he was terrible at Na'vi too." Neytiri grins, causing Jake to roll his eyes.

"Yes, and I became better." He gives her a pointed look, to which she only replies by baring her fangs playfully.

"Well, it's more than that." Lo'ak frowns, looking down at his hands, the very reason he was so different. "I have five fingers! Everyone else has four. Whenever there's a sign that requires fingers, everyone stares at me and Kiri. Their looks are so blank, but I can tell what they're thinking."

"So why didn't you say something?" Jake asks. "It's unlike you to not do anything."

It was a good question that left him silent as he thought. He didn't really know the answer, not as he dug through the surface of his mind. As he searched deeper, he found an answer, but he didn't really want to believe it. "It's because... Tsireya and (y/n) were there."

"And..?" Neytiri prods for him to continue.

"I don't want to disappoint them..." Lo'ak purses his lips, "or be a burden to them."

"Son," Jake places his hands on both Lo'ak's shoulders, causing him to finally look up at him. Jake wanted to be sure that Lo'ak understood the sentiment behind his words. "you're only learning. You can't disappoint them. And if they get upset at you, then that's their fault because they do not understand you and who you are."

"Next time," Neytiri speaks up, catching their attention, "make an arrangement. Find a way to work around it. Alright?"

Lo'ak nods, "Okay."

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Usually, you were the one sought out within the Metkayina if they ever needed you because you were always doing something in the ocean. The sea was vast and cluttered, from seawall terrace to the shore, it was all within the realm of possibility of where you were.

But, for once, you're seeking someone out.

"Kiri!" You call, "I was looking for you."

She emerges from the ocean, ringing the water out of her hair. Too caught up in the sights and feeling Eywa in the sea, she had missed dinner. You could relate to that, so you had to make sure she was taking care of herself.

"What is it?" Kiri asks, treading carefully on her words.

"I saved you some dinner." You hand her a leaf dish of fish.

"Oh." Only once she sees the food does she remember her growling stomach and hunger. "Thank you." She takes the leaf from you gingerly but begins to scarf it down once it's in her own hands.

"It's no problem." You begin, "Sometimes I accidentally skip dinner too. I know the feeling of great hunger in the morning."

Kiri nods in understanding.

"Make sure to get the water out of your ears." You enthusiastically demonstrate by tipping your head to the side and tapping the side of it. "You don't want to end up like me."

Kiri almost chokes on her food. She coughs and puts it on the sand temporarily. "Like you?"

"You know," She doesn't know how you can retain a smile like this. "bad hearing and all."

Ever since you'd lost the majority of your hearing, the adults started using you as an example of what not to do. Not only did they advice the young ones while using your example, they also advised your peers. At first, it was embarrassing, but you began to understand why you were an example and had long since grown used to the embarrassment it brought.

"(y/n), are you using yourself as an example?"

"What?" You tease, "Wanna end up like me?"

"No, (y/n), that's not what I mean." She takes both your hands in hers. "You shouldn't be using yourself as an example of what happens if you don't take care of yourself."

"Why not?" It was pretty normal to you now. You purse your lips, "Everyone uses me as an example. I am what happens if you don't–"

"Because," Kiri breathes out in disbelief, "you're more than an example. You're your own person. You're more than your past mistakes."

"You're right," You snicker at the thought, "just like last time."

"I'm just saying what has to be said." She reassures, rubbing her thumbs over the back of your hands, "Value yourself more."

☾⋆☆⋆☽

The trend of you seeking other people out, when it'd always been the opposite before, followed along for Lo'ak.

After your sign language lessons, you retreated into the ocean to clear your thoughts. Now that you had what you were looking for, you had to find Lo'ak, which thankfully doesn't take long.

"Lo'ak!" You call as your eyes find him.

He himself seemed to be searching for you too, so when he sees you, his eyes brighten. He covers the ground between you two quickly. "Hey, I was just looking for you."

"Me too. Do you wanna go first?"

He nods, "I found out a way we can work around my fingers."

"Your fingers?" You tilt your head forward.

"Yeah." He shows them off, wiggling all five for you.

"What about them?"

"Oh," He realizes the question wasn't because you'd somehow forgotten how many he had, but because you hadn't heard the rest of his sentence. He speaks with his mouth wider for you, "I found a way to work around them."

"That's what I was trying to find you for, actually." You snicker, "I found a way to work with them."

"With them?" He hadn't thought it possible.

"Yep." You grin, "Oh, but you were going first. Go on."

"Right, um," Lo'ak lifts one of his hands with the other, up to your view, then he pulls his last finger down. "I was thinking we could tie down my pinkie."

"Your pinkie?"

"My last finger, the smallest, it's called the pinkie."

"Okay, right." You nod.

"Tie it down with like a, um," He snaps his fingers while he thinks. "rope or something until I learn to stop using it."

After hearing his thought, you burst out laughing. It leaves Lo'ak confused. He stands there awkwardly, arms falling down to his sides with a building shame because he can't understand what you were laughing at.

"Sorry, um," You shake your head to wipe the laughter from your face, "that's too cruel, Lo'ak."

"Cruel?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, don't you think? It's just like what your sister taught me. We shouldn't take things against their will." You hold his hand to bring it back between the two of you and press his pinkie down against his palm. The force you put on his knuckle and the position is rather uncomfortable for Lo'ak, and it shows in his face. "See?"

"Yeah, you're right." He mutters, then realizes his mistake. "Sorry, I mean, you're right." He enunciates louder and clearer. "Just that... I couldn't really find any other way."

"Well, I was thinking we could just use your middle fingers as a unit." You bring his pinkie back up and press your fingers on his middle fingers, "What do you call them?"

"This is the middle finger," He wiggles it and specifically avoids accidentally showing it off to you, even if you probably don't know what it means. "and this is the ring finger."

"Okay." You nod, understanding quickly. Then, you press your fingers against the ring's left and the middle's right and hold them together. "We can consider these as my middle finger."

You hold your hand up next to his, pulling your other fingers down to show him the middle. He almost laughs and tells you the meaning, but decides it's funnier if you don't know.

"Say, "happen" for example." You use his hand as if it were your own, as yours was holding it, and press the side of yourd against it. Then, you bring it to the side quickly whilst pushing your fingers wide apart. "To mimic my middle finger, you can use your middle and ring fingers together."

"But... wouldn't it be confusing?" Lo'ak argues, looking up into your eyes.

You turn away from him, biting your lip, "Much the same as you're... accommodating for me by learning sign language, we must accommodate for you too. It's only right."

"Accommodate..." He hated that word, and clearly, you were just as ashamed to use it. It had been used all throughout your lives because of your particularities. "Let's not say that."

You turn back up to him, a glimmer of hope within your eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Let's not say we're accommodating for our differences." He turns his hand, the one that rested upon your palm, and uses it to hold yours reassuringly. "Let's just say that we're doing this for each other."

He loves the way your face lights up with a smile. "That sounds good."

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Thanks to Tsireya's efforts, the Sully's had learned the ways of the Metkayina.

They were still different, they were Omatikaya, and they and the Metkayina would always have their differences. However, despite their leaner bodies, they could catch up with you in the water; despite other physical differences like smaller lungs, they could stay underwater almost as long as you. They still preferred bow and arrow over spear and ikran over ilu.

Soon enough, they were good enough at free diving that they were allowed to perform their first Iknimaya trial, catching a small shell thrown into the sea.

Of course, it was the first because it was the easiest, the Metkayina completed it when they were young; but still, it called for a celebration.

Ronal denied a coming of age celebration. It was past the season for it, the tulkuns weren't home yet, and the Metkayina didn't know the Sully's enough for it to have any real sentiment.

It didn't matter to you, though. All they really wanted was a celebration with friends (which Ao'nung so gladly volunteered to not participate in).

You brought them into the sea for the celebration. For once, it wasn't a test of their breathing, speed, or swimming form. It was just exploring, enjoying the water; and they hadn't done that since they tamed their ilu.

As you dove into the sea, Fyìp swam to be near you. It seemed unbothered by the stares of awe he received.

Kiri grinned, signing to you, Fyìp ioang?

Yeah! Call him Fyìp now. You offer it a spot on your palm, which it accepts. You thrust your hand forward to show them all. He warmed up to me, forgave me.

Forgave you? Lo'ak signed. After your arrangement, he'd really gotten good at sign language.

Though the celebration was not meant to be a test, it was a great demonstration of how they were on their way to master sign language.

I believe I told you about the lesson Kiri taught me. I caught Fyìp to show it off to her, and she taught me I shouldn't have done so, even through all my curiosity. You nod at the thought, Wise words.

Kiri tucks a hair behind her ear, It just made sense to me. Not something wise or anything.

Sure. You huff out a laugh, then turn around to swim further in. Fyìp clings onto your shoulder.

The sights were already amazing. The Sully's were no longer limited by depth or obstacles now that they knew the way of water, so now they could see everything the sea had to offer.

You turn back to them again with an offer, You guys wanna see one of my favorite places? Knowing that they'll definitely agree, you turn back around and start leading the way.

It doesn't take long before you are standing before a marvel.

It was a cove of coral, fish, and many more ocean creatures. They were all colorful and eye-catching, but the main attraction was the ilu. It was similar to the Banshee Rookery in the Ayram alusìng.

We don't always tame ilu bred from other ilu at the village. Sometimes, we come here, though rarely. You explain.

These ilu were wilder, more aloof, but they still retained their friendly nature with the Na'vi. So long as you do not anger them, we can hang out with them.

The Sully's were practically let loose around the area. As you already knew much of it, you laid down on a rock at the heart of it and simply watched. Fyìp stuck around you, catching stray fish for dinner.

Kiri easily communicated with the ilu. Even if they were already friendly, they seemed even warmer with her.

Lo'ak managed to find the more playful ilu and had somehow gotten himself into a game of tag. He seemed to be one of the runners. He ducked behind coral, up and around rock arches. He was holding his own, despite the ilu naturally being much faster. Tsireya found herself watching too, and was laughing at Lo'ak's panicked face as he narrowly avoided being caught by an ilu.

As Lo'ak and Kiri both found their own things to do, it seemed Neteyam was stuck with Tuk. But she wasn't a burden to him. What kind of big brother would he be if she was?

He held her by the hand and admired some of the smaller creatures with her, although it seemed as though she had other intentions.

She escaped Neteyam's grasp and began swimming away with vigor. For a moment, Neteyam panicked, rushing after her with alarm. However, he soon relaxed once she saw she was going to you.

She waved hello adorably with a grin then signed. As the youngest, she had a bit more trouble with signing, but you understood her. Why do you like being in the water so much?

Well, it's very serene. You reply.

Neteyam caught up. He seemed interested too. Is that it?

You shrug, Sort of. There's some other reasons, but... You took in Tuk's hopeful eyes. She was far too cute to be denied. I could tell them to you.

Please? Will you? She swims closer, holding onto your wrists so that you may still sign.

Perhaps Tsireya rounded them up; otherwise, you have no idea why, as signing doesn't make sound, but they all round up around you. Even Fyìp swims closer.

It was a bit nerve-wracking, having all those eyes on you, but you had grown close to all of them. Nothing bad would come of it if you told them.

Okay.

Tuk's smile grows wider, she swims away so the others can see you too.

Ever since I was a kid, the ocean was so entrancing. It was majestic, a different world from the one above. The other kids my age, they preferred to play with one another. I preferred to explore the ocean. Even though I was hardly used to the world above, I still preferred exploring underwater.

Tsireya taught you that the sea gives and takes. While it gave me a world to love, it also took my hearing because I was negligent towards my ears. Eventually, the sea was more than just the world I loved. It was also the only place I could be normal.

Lo'ak and Kiri listen more carefully when you mention the word normal. It was something they both struggled with.

Everybody needs to sign to speak. You don't need your ears to listen to them, you only need your eyes; and my eyes, I still have. Underwater, I swim and speak and listen just like everyone else.

Tsireya swims closer, a frown on her face. She holds your elbow endearingly, You are just like everyone else.

Yeah, you are. Neteyam does the same, swimming closer. You are Na'vi.

We are Na'vi. Lo'ak signs.

Though we are all different, we are all Eywa's children. Kiri signs. It doesn't matter in what way we are different, my fingers, our blood, your hearing...

Lo'ak's eyebrows... Neteyam signs. Said eyebrows furrow at the teasing. Lo'ak retaliates by squeezing Neteyam's exposed neck, as his brother always does to him. Neteyam pushes him away.

You guys, you all understand. You smile, I'm so sorry that the Metkayina treat you differently.

Lo'ak shakes his head, If it is something we must teach them, we'll make them learn. He smiles, So long as we have great teachers like you and Tsireya to back us up, right?

You roll your eyes–he thinks it's endearing–at him but nod. We'll teach them that we're all the same.

Tomorrow will be a good day for that. Tsireya signs, Let's not forget we are celebrating your first Iknimaya trial.

Fyìp does an encouraging twirl that makes everyone smile.

To tomorrow. You sign.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

What's the 2024 canon event in your universe?

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Pile One 🕷

Your Canon event that cannot be interfered with: There's going to be a tremendous amount of movement for you in 2024. This could look like traveling, ascending in your endeavors, plans playing into motion, but the main thing that's standing out to me is that you won't be doing this alone. There's a lot of group activity here with friends, family, or co workers who you have a healthy relationship with. This could also indicate a lot of celebrations or ceremonies regarding success in what you accomplish next year. I keep getting this image of gears moving non-stop, which to me it looks like you're pushing through anything physically and mentally. Some of you could be start working out as a new hobby or something else that requires you to uncover barriers within yourself that you never thought you could exceed. Maybe this is inspiration to pull yourself out of something in the past that has been making you feel like you should just lay in stagnation, or maybe you're tirelessly moving because you have to, but either way, you're making moves that you should see positive results in the year of 2024.

Pile Two

Your Canon event that cannot be interfered with : You are going to learn either from circumstances that corner them or through self-reflection (can even be both) that will make you learn how to take more accountability. This is about making changes in the way that you have been reacting to stuff that boils down to the multiple ways that you have been self-sabotaging. Knowing when to walk away when you've put your all into a person that isn't doing the work to meet you half-way. Withdrawing your energy from situations that seek to get you out of character. Understanding the value in your emotions instead of pushing them aside or allowing other people to invalidate them. 2024 is the year for your voice to be heard. You'll improve in how you communicate with others, especially amongst conflict, discovering your unmet needs that you didn't even know were needs, solitude that will bring you more peace that'll draw away from the loneliness you may feel in working on yourself. You could even be finding out what spirituality actually means to you as well. Overall, I'm getting the feeling that you're walking away from the noise that's discrediting your discernment, you're going to find out that you aren't crazy as some people tried to make you ought to be.

Pile Three

Your Canon event that cannot be interfered with : 2024 for you is going to be about uncovering a lot of secrets and I'm not talking about anxiety inducing kind. This year is going to be exciting for you and about revealing what your self-concept is. Tapping into your sexuality, finding the things that compliment your beauty, or your "recipe" that just makes life work for you, having more freedom financially, romantically, or other areas that you may have felt restricted in. I feel like most of your months are going to be eventful to the point where you may pause temporarily throughout the year because you may feel like you need to chill out, or life just feels "too" good. This could be related to certain indulgences or this could be some fear creeping on you that'll make you doubt the positive things going on with you in life. Other people could find you impulsive, but that's really none of their business, a lot of the blessing that you receive in 2024 comes from taking leaps of faith and being assertive in searching for things that you want to take a chance on.

[thewitchinthecloset35]

Beginner Witch Starting Points

° . * • ☆ Research starting points ☆ • * . ° The following list is of topics that I believe are good research starting points for beginner witches. I've laid it out in a couple lists of what I consider the most important to research early down to things you may want to research depending on interests.

Important to research early

♡ How to read critically and cross-reference

> Research is huge in witchcraft, knowing how to find the right information and triple check it's not wrong is very important

♡ Witchcraft vs paganism

♡ History of witchcraft

♡ Open vs closed practices

♡ Cultural appropriation

♡ Discernment/Mundane vs magical

> Always ruling out mundane explanations or options before considering magical

♡ Types of witches

> Such as sea witches, kitchen witches, green witches

♡ Types of magic/practices

> Such as art magic, lunar magic, chaos magic

♡ Types of spells and rituals

> Such as spell jars, candle spells, sprays

♡ Basic spell work

> Such as cleansing, grounding, protection, warding

♡ Understanding Intention

♡ Altars and Tools

> Such as wands, tarot decks, bells

Researching interests

♡ The elements

♡ Symbols and sigils

♡ Item associations and correspondences

> Such as crystals, herbs, colours

♡ Dream interpretation

♡ Religions and deities

♡ Shadow work

♡ Whatever has caught your eye during researching so far, research some more

° . * • ☆ Practice starting points ☆ • * . °

As soon as you feel like you've got a good grasp on witchcraft, you'll want to start practising. With everything you've come across, it might prove overwhelming or confusing as to where to start. Some topics are more advanced than others and aren't considered beginner-friendly. Therefore, having practised and got a hold of some basics is a great way to begin your journey, and is always recommended by other practitioners. That way, if you accidentally step too deep too early, you're already equipped with the information, tools, and experience you need to look after yourself.

It's easy to get excited and rush through it to what you may truly want to do, however, I suggest practising the following topics until it becomes a habit and you can throw up protections and wards like second nature without any notes. It depends on how much time you can dedicate to this daily and whether there are any reasons you might have to slow down, such as being broom-closeted or having children. I would suggest 1 to 2 years overall for researching all the topics in-depth and practising it until you have at least one method of each nailed down confidently with no doubts in your ability or knowledge - and be honest with yourself on that.

Where to begin with practising witchcraft

♡ Grounding and meditation

♡ Cleansing

♡ Protection

♡ Circle casting

♡ Warding

♡ Enchanting items

° . * • ☆ Where to get information and resources ☆ • * . °

The internet is amazing for allowing people to write their own informational posts, blogs, and to make their own videos. Sometimes a simple google search for what you’re after will bring you loads of results, which is also why reading critically and being able to cross-reference is so important. You can find resources and information anywhere, such as:

♡ Youtube

♡ Tumblr

♡ Websites

♡ Books

> Ebooks, audiobooks, physical books

♡ Podcasts

♡ Pinterest infographics

♡ Discord servers

♡ Amino communities

This is an updated version of my old post https://thewitchinthecloset35.tumblr.com/post/656426177696874496/beginner-witch-friendly-research-points