#in over 20 years neither have my teachers

[circusislife]

12 years I've been going to circus school for 12 years I've seen diablos being thrown (violently), fall from over 40ft/12m, being freaking stepped on. I've seen diablos being thrown (violently), fall from over 40ft/12m, being freaking stepped on and not ONCE did I see a diablo so much as crack.

UNTIL THIS MORNING.

what the actual F***?!!?!? I haven't had a diablo for a single week. and it breaks because of a measly fall from not even 3m??? WTF????? AAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAH

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 20 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley gets the update he's been waiting for. You get something you weren't expecting. Neither of you can tell the other how you're feeling.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, romantic Bradley, 18+

Length: 3700 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

You drove Bradley's Bronco back to his house, dragged yourself back inside, and climbed back in bed. You cried so hard when you watched him carry his duffle bag into the airport, you had painful hiccups for twenty minutes afterwards. Now you were emotionally drained and on the cusp of a headache, and this was only the first day.

With your cheek on Bradley's pillow, you pulled the covers over your head and took a few deep breaths. He didn't know much about his deployment, but the communication blackout was designed to keep you from learning anything. If something happened to him, it might be weeks before you heard about it. Your heart ached as you thought about how lonely he was going to feel after he made it a point to tell you how much he loved getting mail from your class last time.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, and you scrambled to get it out.

About to take off. I love you, Gorgeous. I'll let you know when I land.

Well, you had about six hours to kill until you would hear from him again, which felt bad enough. Then seven full weeks after that. You typed back to him with fresh tears in your eyes, and then you tried to sleep, but the hiccups came back. When you moved to the couch, it felt too cold. You were tempted to call Natasha, but if you couldn't even make it a handful of hours without Bradley, you didn't think she would be able to help you.

It would start to get better. It would have to. When your winter break ended, you'd be back in your classroom with your students. You could dive into your lesson plans for the new year. You could focus on teaching. You could do this. Because if you found out the hard way that you couldn't, then you had no business being with Bradley.

--------------------------

Bradley was given a tiny room in the barracks on base in Norfolk, and he spent the entire night talking to you on the phone. Literally six hours straight before he passed out, sound asleep, hanging halfway off the bed with his phone connected to the charger. One of the last things he remembered you saying was, "As soon as you know if it's San Diego or Norfolk, let me know. I love you."

The following morning, he was so exhausted, he was practically dizzy as he met with his commanding officer, Admiral Walker, for this new special deployment. Even his arm felt heavy as he saluted Walker in his office. It was barely seven o'clock which equated to four in the morning in San Diego, and he knew it would take him a few days to get caught back up on sleep at this point. But every second of talking to you was worth it.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw. Welcome back to the Atlantic Fleet," Walker told him, gesturing to the empty chair in the office. 

"Thank you, Sir," he replied, even though he was far less than thrilled to be back in Virginia at all. The prospect of a change of station could not have come at a worse time when he spent the flight from California looking at engagement rings on his phone.

As Bradley sat down, the older man said, "We never wanted to lose you to the Pacific in the first place, so I'm sure you can understand why you'll be staying on the east coast after your seven weeks on the Gerald R. Ford is complete."

His heart sank to his feet, and he felt like he was going to throw up. "Sir?" Bradley asked. "That's it? There's no chance of me returning to North Island?"

When the response he got was a raised eyebrow, Bradley pressed his lips into a line. This man wasn't going to give a shit that he owned a house in Coronado or that he was in love with the most beautiful woman in the world who happened to work in Mira Mesa. Something told him that keeping his mouth shut was the better option right now, even though he felt like punching a hole in the wall and flipping the desk.

Walker shuffled some papers on his desk. "Plans still need to be finalized, but it is our goal, and the goal of the US Navy, to change your station to Norfolk."

The words echoed in Bradley's mind. He couldn't decide if he should tell you about this yet. It wasn't like he had signed paperwork in his hand. Until he did, as far as he was concerned, he was going back to Top Gun and the love of his life. He knew you were stressed and concerned enough as it was, and he didn't want you to have to dwell on this unless it was finalized. 

"Once aboard the carrier, mission details will become available to you and the other aviators," Walker informed him. "I have a folder with your bunk assignment and some more information that you can take with you right now. You'll have access to your phone for about another hour, but as soon as you report to the carrier, it will need to be shut down and locked up. Are we clear, Lieutenant?"

Before Bradley could even respond, there was a sharp knock at the door. Walker heaved a weary sigh as his gaze left Bradley's face, and he barked, "Come in."

Of all the faces he knew from North Island, Bradley wasn't exactly sure if it was a friendly one, but when the door opened, Admiral Simpson came strolling inside in his service khakis. He couldn't fathom why his meeting was being interrupted by Cyclone, but he sat quietly with the folder in his hands. 

"Admiral Walker," Beau Cyclone greeted, voice as stern as ever. "You never returned my calls, and red eye flights the week of Christmas are not something I find endearing."

Walker stood behind his desk with all of his accolades hanging on the wall behind him, and Bradley jumped to his feet as well. "Admiral Simpson," Walker replied, voice dripping with disdain. "There was no need for you to fly out in person to release your pilot to my fleet."

Bradley could hear Cyclone's knuckles crack as he watched his eye twitch. He was somehow caught in the middle of this, but it looked like the Top Gun admiral was in no mood to be outmaneuvered and lose a member of his team. Bradley silently goaded him on while he stood there completely still.

"I'm not releasing anyone to you. That's not how this works," Cyclone barked. "If you can't manage your fleet, you don't get to poach from mine."

The admirals seemed to be in a competition to see whose face could get redder. "Admiral Simpson, I'm sure you'll find my rank alone is reason enough for-"

"You do not outrank me," Cyclone interrupted, voice loud but calm. Then he turned toward Bradley with his jaw clenched and said, "Lieutenant Bradshaw. You are dismissed. Please board the USS Gerald R. Ford on time for your deployment."

"Yes, Sir," he replied, saluting both men before walking back out into the hallway on slightly unsteady legs. He paused, hoping to hear some more of their conversation or an outright blow up that would give him a clue as to what the fuck was going on, but instead he walked the rest of the way to the barracks to collect his duffle and head to the docks. 

With his phone in his hand once again and his bag slung over his shoulder, Bradley called you. He knew it was early and he'd be waking you up, but time was tight now. And your voice was the only thing that would keep him sane at the moment. 

"Bradley," you sighed a second later, and he pressed his phone tighter to his ear. 

"Baby, I miss you so much," he promised, heart aching. He swallowed hard and decided not to bring up anything that was going on since he didn't have a completely clear understanding of it himself. "I'm about to board the carrier."

He could hear you crying, and he wanted to kick himself. "Just come back safely. That's all I want. As long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me, okay?"

He was having a hard time keeping his own tears at bay. "Me, too. We'll figure out the rest of it later, Gorgeous. Take care of yourself. Write in the journal. And don't forget to check the mail."

"I love you, Bradley!"

"I love you so much."

As soon as he ended the call and turned off his phone, he had to walk through a small building for security screening. It was there that his bag and phone were taken from him. When he exited the other side, his duffle was handed back to him, but his phone was not.

"Sorry, Lieutenant," the petty officer told him with a shrug when he glared. "I'll tag it for you and return it when you get back to Norfolk. At least it's not a long deployment."

Bradley couldn't even argue with that. It wasn't that long in the grand scheme of things. He'd been overseas for a full twelve months at a time when he was younger. This should have felt like nothing, but he knew it would feel like the worst one. He hefted his bag higher on his shoulder and started to head for the bunk that would be his for the duration. There was no sense in standing on deck when there was nobody who would be looking for him to see him off.

He made it down two hallways before a loud voice echoed off the walls around him. "Lieutenant Bradshaw." When he turned, Admiral Simpson was heading his way, face so red it was almost purple. Bradley's heart sank.

"Yes, sir?"

The other man pulled his composure together, sighing like an angry bull. "While you will be under the command of Admiral Walker for this deployment, you will fly directly back to San Diego when you return to port in Norfolk. You'll be presented with the paperwork today."

Bradley's jaw dropped open. "I'm returning to the Pacific Fleet, Sir?"

He got one firm nod in response. "I told you last week that I would do what I could to retain you."

This was honestly the best case scenario, and Bradley could feel some of his tension melt away. "You weren't kidding," he mumbled before clearing his throat. "Thank you, Sir. Being in San Diego is important to me."

"Fly safely, Lieutenant. See you in seven weeks," Cyclone barked before turning on his heel and walking toward the ramp back down to the dock.

Bradley pumped his fist in the air. "Fuck, yeah," he whispered, spinning on the spot. He would get to go back to the station he preferred in North Island as well as his friends, but most importantly, he would get to return to you. There would be no stress of packing and moving and hoping you were still willing to come with him. He could stay in Coronado.

When he slid his hand into his pocket to get his phone out to call you back, he froze. "God damn it."

------------------------------

If waiting for emails and letters was bad before, this was torture. The early days of getting to know Bradley through written notes left you with constant butterflies in your tummy, but now it felt like you were walking around with a lead weight instead. You constantly caught yourself reaching for your phone to text him before setting it back down in frustration. 

You hadn't heard from him since before he stepped onto the aircraft carrier, and that was four days ago. Today was New Year's Eve, and at least you had the wine bar with Natasha to look forward to. While you got dressed and ready to go, you couldn't help but put in just the bare minimum amount of effort. What was the point when your boyfriend wasn't even here to give you kisses along your neck and call you Gorgeous? You pouted at your reflection in the bathroom mirror and put the cap on your lip gloss before even using it.

"You look nice," Nat said as you climbed in the front seat of her car. You turned to look at her with one eyebrow raised.

"I'm wearing Bradley's old sweatshirt with a pair of leggings that are starting to get a hole in the crotch."

She started cackling as she pulled away from the curb. "Well, you still look nice."

"Thanks," you said softly, watching the houses go by. 

As Nat turned toward the highway to head up to Oceanside, she asked, "How are you making out?"

You pressed your lips together for a few seconds, trying to make sure you weren't going to cry. "I'm just having a hard time being off from work while he's gone. It's... harder than I thought it would be. I can't wait to return to my classroom in a few days."

"I'm sure that will make it easier," she agreed. "You'll be so busy, time will start to fly by. Oh, I forgot to ask if you got any interesting mail at Bradley's house since he left?"

You shook your head. "I barely remember to check the mailbox most days. Why?"

"Don't worry about it," she replied smoothly. "You'll be back to work in a few days, but in the meantime, we've got merlot and chardonnay to keep your mind occupied."

"Sounds like you're talking about two hot French men," you said with a laugh.

"I could be! You don't even know!"

Now both of you were laughing. And you were still laughing when you actually did order a glass of merlot and a glass of chardonnay. You and Nat enjoyed some wine flights and cheese platters, and she regaled you with stories about Bradley from flight school.

"When he was twenty-two, he probably weighed a hundred and twenty pounds," she said with a smirk. "He was such a nerd, too. God, it was so bad." You were trying to stifle your laughter as she added, "Once he really started working out and grew the mustache, he thought he was hot shit. He's still a fucking nerd."

"He kind of is," you agreed through your giggles.

"But he's a good one," she promised. "Wears his heart on his sleeve too often, but I don't think he has to worry about you breaking it."

You ran your hand along the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "Never."

Once the two of you were filled with cheese and sober enough to get back in the car, you paid for your adventure with the gift card Bradley gave you, only to find out it had five hundred dollars on it.

"Natasha! We need to come back like four more times," you said as you signed the slip.

"I don't see any issue with that," she muttered, leaving cash for a tip. "I think I'll write Bradley an email and thank him for funding girls' day so he can read it when he gets back to Norfolk."

"I think he'd like that."

You started thinking about the journal sitting on the nightstand in his bedroom. Every night before you fell asleep, you'd been pouring your heart and thoughts out into the thing, but even the mention of the word Norfolk had you fretting again. You managed to keep up the conversation with Bradley's best friend as she drove you back to Coronado, but perhaps you should keep most of your things packed after you moved your stuff to his house. What if you had to move to Virginia when the school year ended?

"Thanks for driving," you told her when she pulled up to Bradley's driveway to let you out.

"Anytime," she said, waving you off. "We'll go back up again soon." When you leaned in to give her a hug, she told you, "Don't forget to check the mail."

"Okay."

You weren't sure exactly what her deal was since Bradley couldn't send you anything, but if she wanted you to, then you would. You already promised your boyfriend you'd keep an eye on anything unusual that arrived, so as you walked up to the front door, you took a peek inside the mailbox. Empty. Just like the house. You curled up on the couch with the journal and started to write your daily entry.

I heard from a very reliable source (Natasha) that you were and still are a nerd. I'm going to need to see some pre-stache photos of you when you get home. Your best friend is a wealth of information when you get some wine in her, and I had a great time with her today. 

But I miss you. So much. Sometimes it knocks the breath out of my lungs. Your house is too cold and quiet without you here, hogging the couch and eating snacks. I'm looking forward to school starting up in a few days. It'll be a little less lonely when I have eighteen kids telling me what they got for holiday gifts. Of course I'll have to tell them they won't get a visit from their favorite aviator for a while. We'll just be nineteen sad pen pals.

---------------------------

On January second, you were working on your lesson plans while wearing Bradley's gym shorts and eating potato chips. Tomorrow you'd get back into a routine with work, but first you were going to allow yourself one last day of being kind of pitiful. You bit off more than you could chew with Bradley, and now you were paying the price. 

You sporadically started crying at random times throughout the day, and it was only made worse by the overwhelming feeling of being alone. If you could barely make it a week without hearing from him, how were you going to make random deployments with no communication your lifestyle? Why did you even think you could?

While you were crunching your way through some potato chips, you heard something thump on the front porch. The sound made you jump on the couch, and you set your snack down on the table and crept to the front door. When you peeked outside, there was nobody there, but when you cracked the door open, you saw a box. A fairly large box. Addressed to you.

"Oh my god," you gasped. It was from Bradley. According to the date stamped next to your name, he somehow sent a box from the post office in San Diego last week. "Oh my god!"

You grabbed it and kicked the door shut, almost tripping on your way back to the coffee table. When you tried to claw at the tape, you almost broke your nails. "Scissors," you shouted, running for the kitchen drawer by the sink where your boyfriend kept a random assortment of junk. Then you walked quickly back to the couch and started to cut into the box.

Natasha had to be behind the arrival of the box, but you couldn't fathom what could possibly be inside. If Bradley wanted you to have something, he could have simply given it to you before he left. Your heart was pounding as you set the scissors down and looked inside.

"Bradley," you gasped, tears filling your eyes as those familiar butterflies zoomed and swooped around in your belly. You'd been so upset about missing out on his letters, he sent you a whole box of them. There were dozens of envelopes and little treats filling the box nearly to the top, but a neon orange envelope with OPEN ME FIRST written on it caught your eye. You pulled it out of the box and tore into it.

Hey, Gorgeous,

I'm thinking about you right now. Guaranteed. It doesn't matter when you get this box or when you read this note, I'm thinking about how much I love you. And if I'm asleep, I'm dreaming about us eating Thai food on the beach in front of a sunset that is nowhere near as beautiful as you.

I hope you realize there was no way you weren't going to get some letters from me while I'm deployed. I would never let that happen. Somehow, you fell in love with me this way in the first place, and more than anything, I want you to feel as loved as I do. So I filled this box with little notes and long, rambling love letters and things I thought you might like. When you read the individual envelopes, you'll know what to do.

Please fill that journal up for me. I can't wait to read it in seven weeks. I'm missing you like crazy, and I selfishly hope you're missing me just as much. I love you.

Yours Truly,

Bradley

With shaking hands, you set the note down on the orange envelope and swiped at your tears. You never dreamed you would meet a man this romantic, but somehow you did, and he became your boyfriend. "Oh, Bradley," you whispered, picking up a stack of envelopes and reading what was written on each one.

Open me when you've had a bad day

Open me when you really want some coffee

Open me when you need a laugh

Open me when you're in bed

Open me when you need a girls' night

Open me with your class

You flopped down onto the couch and kicked your feet in the air. "Bradley!" you shrieked, voice breaking as you started to cry. You hugged the letters to your chest and let the warm feeling of being loved wash over you and fill your heart. He was unbelievable. He was perfect. He was everything you wanted. And somehow you loved him a little more and missed him a little less with this box on the coffee table.

------------------------------

He's so romantic. He's taking care of Gorgeous from afar! He's coming home to San Diego, but she doesn't even know it! Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls and @daggerspare-standingby

PART 21

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[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Real Talk: Ace Didn't Need to Ask For Help, It's On Garp

i always hate when i see comments about how ace was an idiot or ace should have just asked garp for help because, no? like dawg wtf do you mean?

the one thing we have been told repeatedly across the manga and anime is that ace could have lived his entire life being perfect and he still would have ended up on that podium

he could have become a marine, a police officer, a teacher, a chef and all of that would have been reduced to nothing the moment his parentage was discovered

yes, ace became a pirate of his own volition, but sengoku never mentioned his piracy

he never mentioned all the criminal activity ace did as the captain of the spade pirates or even later as the second division leader of the whitebeard pirates

you know what sengoku did bring up though the moment he got on that damn podium? ace's parentage

he mentions nothing that gained ace his bounty to begin with when he gets that den den mushi in his hand. why?

because it doesn't matter that ace is a pirate. what matters is that they are eradicating the last gol d roger's bloodline

bear in mind that they were killing pregnant women and young children who could have even had the slightest possibility of being roger's lover or kin

akainu deadass says that he doesn't care if every other pirate at marineford escapes as long as ace and luffy died and he would ensure their deaths personally. and for what? not their piracy. none of their crimes. not even for ensuring that the truth that certain countries and lands that were actually saved by pirates instead of the marines never got out

but because their fathers were gol d roger and monkey d dragon respectively

solely because of that, he deemed neither of them deserved to live

and as far as garp goes - i love garp as much as the next person but garp has never done anything for ace to trust him enough to ask for help even if he felt he deserved to ask

garp's negligent parenting coupled with the abusive words ace grew up hearing led ace to believe he didn't even deserve to be born. when he even asks garp if his being born was a good thing, garp can't even tell him 'yes'. he just says 'time will tell'. my brother in the blue seas, that is an elementary schooler questioning his right to exist

ace is defeated by blackbeard in episode 325 (chapters 434-441), luffy hears about his execution being set in episode 416 (chapter 522) and then finally ace is killed in episode 483 (chapter 574). that is 158 episodes and 140 chapters total and in that time what ace receives from garp are conversations that boil down to

"you did this to yourself"

"i just wanted you to become a fine marine"

"i don't have sympathy for criminals but i do have sympathy for family"

and garp actively preventing those who wish to save ace from reaching him. yes after akainu strikes ace, garp does react viscerally with instinct to protect his grandson, but that's too little too damn late at that point

garp having his moral dilemmas mean nothing when, however long ace spent in impel down, he isn't trying to help him

garp having his 'wishing things had been different' thoughts mean nothing when garp is preventing people from saving his grandson

there's a reason garp lets dadan beat and berate him when they reunite in windmill village and it's because he knows she's right

over the course of 20 years, garp has consistently chosen work over ace and luffy. as much as i love dadan and co, bandits are not a good choice to have raise your grandkids and then be the surprised pikachu meme when neither of them wish to become marines

garp's inability to see past the system he disdains yet clings onto actively shoots him in the foot

prevents him from seeing that ace is right when he says he never could have become a marine

luffy could have never become a marine. i do hear arguments saying that luffy might have had a fair chance considering garp is biologically his grandfather but i say that's truly up in the air considering how, even with that knowledge, akainu still wants to put luffy on a poster

but that's all to say, asking why ace never asked garp for help is ridiculous

the fuck would ace look like asking the man who has done nothing but

unintentionally fostered ace's resentment towards luffy in their early childhood

told ace it was his own fault he landed where he did

falcon punched marco halfway across marineford

for help?

and that's not even mentioning the fact that up until that point, ace didn't believe he deserved to live. he didn't think he had the right to exist. the only thing that kept him going up until that point was hoping he'd find an answer that justified his being born and his love for luffy and sabo. ace tells luffy in his dying breaths if it weren't for the two of them, he would have gave up on living a long time ago

yes, garp loves ace and luffy

he loves them both dearly but he is also incapable of putting them before work, before his ideals of justice. these two truths can coexist at the same time. garp's stubborn to a fault and his moral dilemma resulted in both inaction and the prevention of ace's escape

so to say that marineford would have gone differently if ace had asked is seriously undermining the character work. because in reality, it's up in the air on whether or not that would have done anything. ace asking garp for help could have gone either way and that's the beauty of the gray area regarding garp's actions during the summit war

and yes, i can get why it's frustrating that ace turned around to fight akainu when he could have just left and got it back in a blood a different time

but aside from ace having a temper about specific topics, we do get an answer as to why he couldn't bring himself to runaway when we finally are able to dive into his past with luffy and sabo:

he doesn't want to run away from any situation because ace is deathly afraid of losing something if running away ends up being the bad call

and in that moment, luffy was behind him

even if akainu hadn't talked down whitebeard, ace would have inevitably turned back around because he wouldn't have been able to shake his fear of losing something or someone he cared about

as long as there is something precious for him to potentially lose, ace will never run

he was doomed from the start

his being the son of gol d roger doomed him from the start

and that's what makes ace so tragic

[violetarks]

megumi's parental figure, early 20s! gojo satoru, comes in to discuss with you, first year teacher as 'ms l/n', a little mishap that has occured between the young boy and someone else in your class. a fight had broke out in the midst of recess and, while on your break in the teacher's lounge, you were called to the entrance of the room with the two boys, both with their fair share of scratches and scruffed up clothes.

the office had to tell the respective parents to come in to talk after school, while you stood with the boys in the sick bay, helping the nurse clean their wounds.

megumi grunts, "don't call gojo..."

"i have to, sweetie." you retort, placing a bandaid on his cheek from the bark that scratched his face when he was pushed into the ground. megumi frowns even more. "it's the school's policy. i'm sorry."

he only nods his head, eyes pricking with tears as the kid beside him bawled his eyes out about getting in trouble with his parents

you know it's megumi's so-called 'immature, loud-mouth, waste of time and effort' guardian when he comes bursting through the hallway in some kind of uniform, glasses on his nose and fringe messily sticking to his sweaty forehead. not the man you had pictured taking care of megumi.

"megumi! megumi!" he calls, rushing up to you and the boys. they sat in the chairs outside of your classroom while the rest of yours kids were painting. megumi groaned, covering his face in embarrassment as satoru kneeled down in front of him and badgered on. "what happened? i came as soon as i got the call!"

megumi, unwilling to answer, only glares at the boy beside him, who does the same thing.

you sigh, "your son and his classmate were in a physical fight today, mr gojo."

satoru looks to you for a split second before doing a double take. his blue eyes peak over his glasses and you find yourself clearing your throat to gather your nerves again.

as soon as satoru turns back to megumi, he's worried again. "oh god... megumi, please, tell me, did you win—?"

"mr gojo!" you harshly whisper, slight chuckle in your tone at the question. he glances up at you. "please."

so now you sit with both of the boys' parents — megumi and his legal father, satoru (who hasn't stopped smiling at you since he walked in, which is a step up from his not-much-older sister coming in to fill in for their parents), and the other boy, ibuki, and his parents, mr and mrs sawamura (who were of high paying jobs).

the mother and father duo look unpleased to be there, whilst satoru just keeps sending you the warmest gaze. the boys are glaring at each other, clicking their tongues and looking away.

"i apologise for the inconvenience this has caused." you explain, hands on your lap as your sit on your chair at the head of the classroom, "but i'm afraid the school's contacted you on such short notice due to the events of today."

you begin to explain what you know from the boys and what other teachers have told you. megumi and ibuki have never been friends due to clashing ideas, but today, ibuki pushed megumi onto the floor at the playground in the middle of playing tag when megumi was 'it' and tagged ibuki. as a result, ibuki made a comment on megumi's absent parents.

the ravenette, in return, pushed ibuki back and told him to apologise, only for ibuki to throw the first punch. a minor brawl occured, with slapping, kicking, punching and bark throwing whilst other kids watched. nothing was severely damaged, but scratches and light bruises were evident on the boys.

in the end, neither of the boys wanted to apologise.

"what could my son have possibly done?" mrs sawamura questions, crossed arms. the two have been hostile since the start, but you don't react.

"mrs sawamura, ibuki put his hands on megumi and pushed him to the ground whilst insulting him." you reiterate, "i'm sorry, but all accounts state this."

"ibuki, did you do such a thing?" mr sawamura questions, glaring at his son.

ibuki, baffled and nervous, begins to sputter out, "i—well, megumi...! he—he bullied me and said i was a slow runner!”

"i wasn't making fun of you, i was stating a fact." megumi retorts, shaking his head. satoru smirks.

"if anyone should be punished, it should be that bully of a kid!" mrs sawamura exasperates, "goodness, what kind of child resorts to such hostility? children say anything these days! what are you raising?"

satoru turns to her with a roll of his eyes. "a kid with common sense. maybe the reason your kid is so jealous of megumi isn't just because he's smarter than him or cooler, but because megumi knows to cover mouth when to sneeze rather than on other kids at the christmas concert."

"it was an accident!" ibuki cries out, wiping his tears.

"you told all the boys you were gonna' do it!" megumi retaliates, rolling his eyes as well. the resembalance is uncanny.

"nonsense!" mr sawamura exclaims, standing from his chair. you rub your temple, headache ensuing. mrs sawamura only shakes her head as her son sticks her tongue out at satoru. "ibuki would never be jealous of someone like megumi!"

for the first time since he began, satoru's smile drops. he stands as well, towering over the other man. "what's that supposed to mean?"

"okay, let's dail it down, please." you say, standing up as well. you watch as the two men do as you say and seat themselves, all the while glaring at each other. "now, it is a two day suspention. no exceptions. and the kids will have to complete all assigned work i have for them. here."

you give the two boys a folder each, filled with a short workbook and other things, and you don't even allow mr and mrs sawamura to complain before you stand up and bow your head.

"both children are in trouble for participating in the fight." you explain calmly, furrowed brows, "however, this is not the first instance ibuki has been caught talking about other people's privacy. i believe this is an issue to be solved at home."

your last sentence makes satoru giggle and stare at the couple, judging them. they, in return, begin mumbling in their placesnamd crossing their arms.

"thank you for taking the time out of your day to discuss this unfortunate event. i shall see you kids on thursday. good evening." you say blankly, already grabbing your belongings and heading out the door.

satoru is quick to catch up to you before you get into your car.

"hey, ms l/n!" he calls, holding megumi's hand as he gets dragged along in the carpark.

"mr gojo." you reply, expecting him to start explaining megumi's actions.

"thank you for standing up for megumi today." he says, making you stop, "it's good to know that he has someone looking out for him at school."

"oh... i, uh, i don't mind. he's my student, and he does very well in my classes." you explain, smiling at the kid, "how's your cheek, megumi?"

"doesn't hurt at all..." he retorts, looking to the ground. you only grin.

satoru then holds out his other hand. "you can call me 'satoru'. i want to take you out for dinner as a 'thanks' for helping out megumi."

you stop before shaking his hand. "i'm y/n. i'd love you, but..." your eyes drift to megumi, who only turns away with a pout. "i try to keep my work life and personal life separate."

satoru lets out a small chuckle before nodding his head. "i understand. thank you, ms l/n. you're megumi's favourite teacher."

"hey!" megumi grumbles, jabbing at the white-haired man's stomach, "ugh! let's just go home!"

you wave as megumi drags satoru to a nice black car, and they drive to the school gates as you enter your own vehicle.

you're incredibly surprised when you are informed by the principal that fushiguro megumi is leaving the school after only four months of being under your care. you begin to question why he was leaving. were you not a suitable teacher for him? what was wrong with your teaching style?

megumi explains to you that he's upset he's leaving because he actually doesn't want to go. he wants to stay, and he has never complained about you to satoru. you asked why he's moving schools, and he only shrugs and says satoru told him he would be.

when satoru comes to pick up megumi, you make sure to stand at his side with your arms crossed. the man is pleasantly surprised when he sees you with an annoyed expression.

"ms l/n, lovely seeing you again." he says, patting his adopted son's head. the boy scowls and pushes his hand away, stepping closer to you.

"mr gojo, i'd like to ask why you are making megumi move schools when he is perfectly fine here. is this a problem with me? is my way of teaching not up to your standards?" you begin, looking at him dead in the eye.

satoru chuckles, hands in his pockets, "not at all, y/n. megumi actually does pretty well under your care."

"so what is it?"

"i don't want him to be your student." he hums out, shrugging his shoulders, "because you don't mix work with your personal life, i figured i'd take us out of your work life. if megumi is no longer your student, then i can be your boyfriend."

your stilled, frozen as he smiles dumbly at you. any teachers or parents close enough to hear your conversation stop to giggle behind their hands, enjoying the short display of romance. you furrow your brows before uncrossing your arms, tilting your head to the side.

"i—" you begin, pursing your lips and covering your face a little. he lets out a small laugh. "satoru, you can't just..."

"if you care that much about megumi's education, you're more than welcome to come over for dinner and we can tutor him." he offers, grinning at you with such softness that you immediately hum in agreement, "that's great! c'mon, megumi, you can see ms l/n saturday night. say 'goodbye' to your friends and we'll go."

megumi then runs off to bid his friends 'goodbye', all of them crying out about never seeing each other again. in the meantime, satoru stands at your side, hands in his pockets.

"so," he begins, "can i take you out for dinner this weekend? megumi will be out of this school by then."

"i don't appreciate you taking megumi out of this school just because you wanted to ask me out." you huff out, tilting your head at him.

satoru smiles wider, bumping his hip with yours. “just imagine all the other things i’m willing to do to score a chance with you.”

“whatever.” you chuckle, looking back to him, “one date, i will give you one chance.”

“that is all i need. thank you, y/n.” he responds, winking at you. he turns back to megumi, waving his hand. “c’mon, kid! time to go home!”

as they leave, satoru shoots you one last smile and you swear you can hear your heartbeat quicken.

that was the last time megumi was ever your student and the first time satoru made you swoon.

[from-beyond-the-woods]

Alright I'll bite. I live in Israel, yes. I served in the army, yeah. Does Israel mistreat Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank? Absolutely. My friends who are still enlisted tell me about the shit show that goes in there every day. I get it, there are a million reasons to hate the government and the IDF and whoever else you point fingers to. No side is innocent.

But assholes on motorcycles and in pickup trucks broke through the fence, entered civilian towns and military outposts alike, and just started MASACARING EVERYONE. THIS SHIT IS UNPRECEDENTED. And some MIGHT tiptoe around the point, and say that taking over outposts is fair because it's an occupation force and colonialism and what have you, but for fucks sake

They entered civilian homes. They shot everyone who moved. In locked houses, they set the home on fire and shot the families as they fled. I heard the phone calls - people screaming and begging for their lives as terrorists are walking around their home, stealing possessions, massacring everyone.

They didn't just murder colonialists, militants, occupying forces. They murdered kids who should've gone to school today. Parents working local agriculture, teachers, normal guys with an office job. They murdered dozens of elderly people who couldn't run away.

Not only murdered. Kidnapped. Living and dead, put on pickup trucks and herded back to Gaza. Stripped naked, desecrated and paraded around Gaza. I dare you to tell me the party goers, who were at a rave near one of the Kibbutzim near the fence, deserved to be shot at as they ran to safety. Hundreds of people missing. My Instagram stories filled with their faces, and a phone number attached - "help us find our loved ones. Contact lost. If anyone knows anything-" and at this point I skip them because there's nothing I can do.

My friends are enlisted down there. We're just a bunch of 20 year olds. My best friend is defending one of the villages who were infiltrated, she's trading shots with gunmen who already murdered half the place, she's messaging me once in a while to let me know she's alive. She should've been home for the weekend, we were supposed to watch Chicago now that it's on Netflix. Now neither of us sleeps, she's putting her life on the line and I'm wide awake terrified of the moment they call me and tell me she's gone.

This is mostly a rant. If you read all of it, thanks. I live up north, no need to worry for my safety for now. I don't have a good ending for this. Just, stay safe, I guess.

[filled-with-fat]

My best friend made me fat and I didn’t even realise

I’ve known Jared since 4th grade, when he joined my elementary school in Houston. Initially, we weren’t really that close, but our parents worked together, and so gradually both our families become inseparable friends.

Aged 10, I was incredibly skinny, I didn’t eat a lot, some of the teachers at school even thought I had an eating disorder. Whereas, Jared on the other hand was a fairly chubby kid.

We would spend every summer together on a joint family trip, sometimes we would go to Disneyland, other times we would go to Mexico. Being with Jared and his family was always a fun time, and some of my best memories from being a teenager were when we were together.

When me and Jared graduated high school, we both went to the same college, and by chance got allocated the same dorm. My lifelong best friend, who I had spent nearly every second of my teenage years with, was now sharing the EXACT SAME dorm as me at college. Honestly we couldn’t believe the coincidence, but nevertheless we were both really thankful we didn’t have to share a room with a total stranger!

Aged 18, Jared was definitely on the larger side, just as he had always been, and I was still the skinny twink that could fit a size 0. But that all changed after sharing a room with Jared for a year … now that I was away from home, I had to start preparing meals for myself, and both me and Jared were not very accustomed to cooking … Jared would order takeout almost every night, and I was too lazy to make something healthy, so we would sit on his bed, watching our favourite Netflix series, eating pizza after pizza after pizza. It become our daily routine. Some nights we would venture to the on-campus Mcdonalds with some of our friends, or buy pre-prepared meals to heat in the microwave, but that was the closest we got to cooking our own food. Jared had some disgusting eating habits too, I suppose all guys of his size would, he would wake up at 3am, and stuff down a full bag of chips. I’m embarrassed to admit I started doing the same when I began to get hungry in the night 😅

Slowly but surely, me and Jared started packing on the pounds. All the effects of our unhealthy eating habits took a toll on our bodies. Jared got bigger, a lot bigger. My once chubby friend was now a 400lbs sophomore. And I had grown a protruding gut that spilled over my fat pad and thighs. We were both alarmingly fat, but I didn’t notice, honestly, and neither did Jared. Eating together had become our new obsession, it was our thing. During the day on campus Jared would go out of his way to come find me, insisting that we had to eat together. He said he only felt comfortable eating around me, that only I shared his love for food. I started seeing a side to my best friend that I had never seen before.

As the end of year approached, and we got allocated different rooms for the next semester, me and Jared found out that we would no longer be sharing a dorm. Jared became hysterical. I returned to our dorm to find him eating the chocolate-frosted cake I had stored in our freezer. He looked at me, almost embarrassed by his appearance. A 20 year old man, 400lbs fat, lying on his bed scoffing his face with cake, his mouth, cheeks and hands covered in chocolate. Jared told me how he had loved sharing a dorm with me, and that he didn’t want to come back to college unless we would continue to be in the same dorm. He said he loved our late night snacking, and how some nights we would fall asleep together after binge eating Burger King. Jared said he loved me. My childhood best friend, whom I had spent all of my best teenage years with, now confessed he had feelings for me. At that point, I leant in to pick up a piece of cake, and held it in front of his chocolate-covered mouth, he began to smile as I fed it to him.

[inmyheaddd]

gold rush - grayson hawthorne x reader

warnings: academic rivals not really to lovers/ friends to lovers, kissing, very fluffy wc: 1.7k masterlist

grayson hawthorne sat across from you in your biology class in your senior year. you’d known him—or of him—all the way through high school.

you two were practically the two top scorers in everything. 

you two would always cross paths; in class, award ceremonies, extracurriculars, anything academic-related, honestly.

but you two never really spoke though, up until now.

you always sort of hoped you’d be partnered up with him for something: an excuse to talk because you knew neither of you would speak to the other first. 

the opportunity finally arose when your biology teacher put you together for your end of semester project. 

you can’t lie, the first time you met in the library to do work was awkward. 

something about him always intrigued you, so you bit the bullet and tried to start a conversation.

his “strictly work” mode was boring, but once you two got into a flowing conversation, he quickly warmed up, and his eyes looked much more inviting than they did 20 minutes ago.

“sometimes i geniuenly can’t understand what he’s saying with that accent of his, i think we need a scottish translator in the class,” you said with a soft laugh. 

you two had been sitting in the library for around 30 minutes now, with no work done. 

you didn’t have to worry about disturbing anyone by talking, it was just you two in the whole place.

he chuckled at what you said and you felt your stomach do a backflip when you saw dimples flash for a split second. 

he had dimples. god, could he get any cuter? 

“i much preferred our teacher last year, miss hawkins”

a smile found your face, “oh my god, yes, she was the sweetest!” you put a hand on your chest, almost in awe, thinking one of the best teachers you had. 

“she’d always round up my scores and talk about students and teachers with me when i’d finish my work.” you couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of gossiping with your 30-year-old biology teacher at her desk.

“so that's what you two were always doing.” a smile stretched across his face, then he continued, tilting his head to the side slightly and furrowing his brows, “isn’t that… somewhat illegal?” 

“hey, it gave me motivation to finish early. let me live.” 

he shrugged, “i’m not telling.” he made that sound like a challenge.

“so you won’t let any underlying jealousy from me being biology student of the year get in the way?” you teased him right back.

“oh i’m not jealous, believe me.” you raised your eyebrows at that, and he spoke again with a grin. “you just told me half of it was because miss hawkins would round your grades.” 

your mouth fell open. “okay, yeah by like one percent!” you crossed your arms over your chest. “there’s no need to be rude here.” you leaned back in your chair, like you were truly appalled. 

grayson saw right through you, and after 2 seconds of staring at each other in silence with your lips twitching upwards, you two fell into a fit of laughter. 

when you two recovered, he spoke again, “you did deserve it, though. you’d be the only one answering questions in class half the time.” he said, looking in your eyes deeply, reminiscing on times that seemed so far away now. 

“don’t count yourself out, hawthorne. you were like the only person who took that class seriously.” 

“apart from you?” he finished your unsaid thought with a tiny grin on his face.

“yeah,” a smile formed on your face, “apart from me.” 

an hour later, still, with no work done, you were talking about books.

he was a nonfiction and classics reader. and you, well, you were definitely not. 

“okay, why don’t you read little women then? it’s also a classic, but it's not boring.” 

“actually, now that you mention it, i have had my eye on it for a while.” 

he said that so calmly, if only he knew how much his rating just went up in your head.

“well if you want, i could lend it to you, i have an extra copy.” you both knew he was very capable of getting his own copy, but this way, it felt like you were actually building some sort of relationship together.

“that would be nice, thankyou.” he smiled once again, and it was like your face mirrored everything he did.

you glanced down from your notebook to him and, then back to your empty notebook and laptop that was now turned off in realization.

you two hadn’t written a single word down.

he was watching you, and you tilted your head back up. “oh my god, we haven’t done a single thing.” 

it was honestly kind of funny, or maybe, everything seemed to be funny right now with grayson. you had that, airy, light, and giddy feeling. 

you were surprised you weren’t giggling at every word he said like a mad woman. 

he shrugged, humming slightly in disagreement before speaking. “i’ve gotten to know you, that’s more important to me.” 

oh. 

okay. just act normal. be chill about it.

“oh, yeah, it’s nice to get to know you too.” 

you were 99% sure your face was the colour of your red school tie.

he smiled at you, and his dimples you saw flash earlier were on full display now.

“we should get some work done, then?” he suggested, after a beat of silence and ever so slightly awkward eye contact, putting you out of your misery. 

“yeah, we probably should.” you let out a nervous chuckle.

grayson thought he made you uncomfortable with that. he’s actually known you for less than a day; how did he even let that thought slip out? he was never like this.

the next time you met in the same library, you brought your little women copy. you honestly forgot about it because you fell into conversation so quickly, but soon enough it was pinging in the back of your mind, and you told grayson.

“you really didn’t have to, thankyou.” you heard the smile in his voice as you looked through your bag to get the book. “i wanted to,” you replied, as you handed him the book. 

his gaze caught yours with a smile, and then he was flicking through the book. 

‘you annotate?” his eyes sparked with interest, and he was hoping the way he was so totally enamored with you wasn’t so obvious on the outside.

“oh,” how did you forget that you wrote inside of that copy? “yeah, nothing really special, just thoughts or whatever.” 

“that’s good, it’ll be like you’re there reading with me.” 

“yeah,” your cheeks were heating up, and then he looked down at the book in his hand before looking up and asking another question. “would you mind if i wrote in it as well?” 

oh my god. 

“no, no, of course not!” good thing you didn’t sound too eager… 

“i mean, i’d love to see what you think about it.” and if it was possible, he smiled deeper, flashing his dimples that you’ve quickly grown to love. 

once you both handed in your project, he decided to ask you out on a “celebration” date. just two friends hanging out. nothing special!

you arrived at the coffee shop 15 minutes early, only to find grayson already sitting there. 

your heart fluttered as he looked up and caught your eyes. he did a small wave, and smiled at you.

“hey,” you said as you sat down, scooting in your chair closer to the table.

“hi,” he did a once-over on you, and he realized this was the first time he was really seeing you outside of anything school related. “you look lovely,” he spoke his thoughts out loud.

“thank you,” you added, “you don’t look too bad yourself.”

he chuckled, “thank you.” 

you fell into comfortable conversation, and 20 minutes later, you were both done with your drinks. iced coffee for you, black coffee for grayson. the weather was perfect, and he suggested a little walk, you couldn’t think of a better idea. 

a waiter came to your table for the tab, and you reached in your bag. “please, let me,” grayson interjected, and gave you a look that left no room for argument.

you thanked him and smiled, leaning back into your seat as he paid, knowing damn well the only things you brought with you were your phone, gum, and lipgloss. 

as you both stepped outside, the warm sunlight bathed the streets in a golden hue. you and grayson strolled down the sidewalk, making light conversation and sharing stories. you found yourself leaning into his side, subconsciously wanting to be closer to him.

“i have to admit, i’m really enjoying little women,” he said, glancing at you with a smile. “your annotations make it even better.”

“i’m glad you like it, it’s one of my favorites.” you replied, feeling your cheeks warm again.

after a few moments of comfortable silence, grayson turned to you, looking thoughtful. “you know, i’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks. i wish we had done this sooner.”

“yeah, me too, i've been having a lot of fun." you said softly, meeting his gaze.

grayson smiled, and his hand brushed against yours. “i’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he began, coming off as hesitant for the first time in his life. “would you like to go out on a proper date sometime?”

you heart skipped a beat, and a smile spread across your face. “i’d love that.”

relief washed over his features, and his dimples were starting to make an appearance again. “are you available this saturday?”

you felt as if your words would fail you with the excitement you felt bubbling up in your stomach, so you simply nodded, mutters a small, “yeah, i am.” with a nod.

grayson was already thinking about all the places he’d take you and what you’d enjoy; he was going to make the most out of it. 

as you continued your walk, he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. the simple gesture alone made your heart soar.

“you know,” grayson said with a playful glint in his eye, “i never got to tell you my favorite part of the book.”

“oh?” you asked, slightly curious.

“it’s the little hearts you draw next to your favorite quotes,” he confessed, a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “i think it’s endearing.”

you laughed softly. “i didn’t realize you’d notice that.”

grayson slowed down his walking, coming to a stop and looking at you. “ i notice a lot of things about you.”

you felt your heart drop, like there was a whole zoo in your stomach. you felt yourself lean in, but you barely even registered it. you hesitated, unsure of how to respond, and he gently closed the distance and kissed you, his touch soft and unexpected. it was a brief, sweet kiss that made you feel like you were floating. 

when he pulled away, you both were smiling. 

you’d never get tired of those goddamn dimples.

[tlouadditc]

hate to hate you.

enemies to lovers abby x reader.

a/n: this was an ask but i forgot to put this under it 😭 anyway thank u anon for asking!! this was so fun to write tbh and also i am not a nursing student so idk how any of this works .... hope you enjoy anyway :,) also might write a pt. 2 depending on how this one does!

warnings: 18+/MDNI, men dni either, mean!abby [kinda], super fem!reader, abby's a bully :,((, switch!abby, switch!reader, clothed grinding [?], oral [a!receiving], dirty talk ;), pussy slaps [?], rushed ending because im crocheting, probably more. NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN.

abby has been your rival since middle school. she was always making fun of you- could be how you had lower grades [by a couple points, to be specific], how you always dressed in pink and in skirts and were a "tryhard", literally anything. hell, when she found out you were interested in nursing, she made it a competition to see who could be the better doctor. eventually, the amount of taunting had gotten to you and you started dressing like everyone else and becoming a quieter person.

ever since then, there's been some silent tension between you two. it was stupid, of course, but neither of you made an effort to end the rivalry. every class you had together in high school was a competition to see who could participate the most, get the most praise from the teacher, highest grades- everything. but no matter what you did, you'd always be second to her. once senior year was over, you were free from this hell and decided to finally be your true self in college.

or so you thought.

it was your first day of freshman year. you were doing your makeup in your bathroom, trying to calm your nerves. you've done this multiple times before, you thought to yourself. why am i still nervous??

you were adding little finishes- a bit more blush, curling your lashes one more time, adding a bit of glitter to your inner corner, etc. you check the time: 8:03am. class starts in 20 minutes, and you have to walk! you quickly check your outfit, straightening out your pink skirt and grabbing your bag before leaving out.

the walk to class isn't bad; a little confusing, but there's staff around to help direct new students, so you easily find your class. you walk in as soon as the class starts. to your horror, all the seats in the front are taken. the professor stops her introduction and walks over to you to speak. "hi, you must be y/n? you're a tad late, but it is your first time here, so i'll let you have a pass. your seat is in the back corner next to ms. anderson."

anderson...? your smile fades as you look towards the seat the teacher is pointing at. there she is- sitting there with her smug smirk and her always-braided hair. fuck my life actually. you turn back to the teacher, crack a small smile, and nervously walk over to your seat.

"didn't think you'd see me, huh?" is the first thing that comes out of abby's mouth, her big smile growing wider after seeing the dread on your face. all you can do is glare at her and get your things out. as you rummage through your bag, you hear the professor say:

"the person you are currently sitting with will be your partner for the semester."

you've LITERALLY have to be joking. the girl who's been borderline bullying you for years is your partner for the rest of the semester?? you debate asking the teacher to change seats, but decide against it.

"can't believe im stuck with you," she mutters, mocking the disbelief on your face. "shut up, abby," you hiss, trying to keep your voice down.

this was gonna be quite a year, huh?

abby was unbearable the entire class. always asking useless fucking questions, moving her braid from one side to another- it all annoyed the fuck out of you. however, to pass this class, you had to work with her and put your feelings aside.

the first assignment was to study and review the human anatomy with your partner. the test on the subject was in a couple of days, making it the first grade of the semester. everyone else in the class was easily discussing plans for studying while you and abby made a horrible attempt for friendly small talk.

"so.. we have a test-"

"i heard."

"goddamnit, abby, i'm trying to pass this class. can you be nice for once?"

"stop staring at me like that and maybe i will."

"i wasn't even- [sigh] just give me your number so we can figure out a time and place. please."

and with that, you two later that night made the plan to meet up at your apartment and study there the next day.

the next day

you spent most of your morning doing your usual routine; cleaning, listening to your podcast, organizing your things- basically a mini-spa day. since abby was coming over, you didn't want to give her any reason to ridicule your space. you also debated on wearing some bland outfit to avoid the bicker, but ultimately decided you shouldn't care anymore. you settled on something casual; a floral tube top, a pink cardigan, and some comfy shorts to match the top. you also threw on some pink bunny slippers to match the ribbons in your hair.

as you finished the kitchen, the doorbell rang. must be abby. you walk to the door, slowly losing your happiness as you turned the doornob. upon opening the door, you see abby, leaning against your doorframe. she's dressed in a black wifebeater and gray sweats. she has a small tote bag and headphones around her neck.

as you study her look, she does the same to you. you suddenly feel small in comparison to her; almost feeling weak in her presence. if you were honest with yourself, in all the annoyance that you felt toward her, you could admit she was hot. she was your lesbian awakening, if you were 100% honest. but since she didn't like you, you suppressed all feelings.

"someone got dressed up," she teases, looking you up and down. "this is just how i dress," you say, rolling your eyes. "come in."

an hour later, you and abby are sitting on your couch, going over flashcards for the test. abby has her information down, of course- you keep missing the same two vocab words.

"you dumbass," she laughs, watching you pout over missing the same word for the 4th time in a row.

"this is so annoying," you say, burying your head in your hands. the frustration you feel is so intense, you feel tears well up in your eyes. you attempt to hide it as abby continues to laugh, but a sniffle gives you away.

"are you- there's no way you're crying right now," abby says, genuine disbelief in her voice. "don't be a crybaby, bun. you can get it."

bun.. ?? what the hell? she's being... nice? no fucking way.

you lift your head, tears running down your face, messing up your makeup as you wipe your face with your hands. abby analyzes your face before sitting back on the couch. she pats her thigh, "c'mere, let me help."

okay, this has to be a dream.

you hesitantly get off your side of the couch and sit on her lap. almost immediately, you feel the warmth radiating off her body, making you shiver a bit. she chuckles lightly, "what, are you scared or somethin'? just trying to help you since you clearly need it." you're still wiping your face, too busy to rebuttal.

she begins to explain. "so, these two are similar, but they aren't the same thing. y'know why? because this one.."

all you can focus on is the amount of contact you two have right now: her right hand slightly touching your inner thigh. her abs resting against your back. her voice, soothing and calming, in your ears. the scent of pine and clean laundry filling your nose. you knew it was wrong, but fuck, you were wet. there was probably a puddle under you by now.

"uh, y/n? you there?"

you snap out of your slutty daze, realizing you're supposed to be listening. "mm, what? can you explain that, uh, again, please?"

she laughs, putting the cards on the coffee table in front of you two. "i'm sitting right here, trying to teach you and you still can't focus that pretty little head on this? god, what am i gonna do with you?"

you turn slightly, face to face with abby. her piercing blue eyes study yours, searching for something. you don't know what comes over you, but you completely turn to face her, move your hands to the sides of her face, and kiss her.

she immediately kisses back, hands finding comfort on the top of your hips. she falls back on the couch, lips still connected as you straddle her lap. you can feel the passion, intent with every kiss you give her. her strong hands push your hips onto hers, grinding through her sweats. a soft moan leaves your lips, giving her the opportunity to insert her tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss.

you pull back, catching your breath as abby continues to make your hips roll onto hers. "you know how long- hah- i've wanted to do this to you?" she breathes, eyes moving from where you two meet to your flustered face.

you look at her, eyes wide. ".. what?"

"i've wanted to kiss you for forever. wanted to have you close like this. wanted to fuck you. everything." shes now completely focused of your face, trying to read your expression.

"i thought you hated me." you're so confused, you don't know whether to cry, smile, get angry, or whatever.

"fuck- i didn't mean to, i'm sorry," she's desperate, her hands moving to your cheeks to bring you back to her face. "let me make it up to you, yeah?"

after a while, she moves her hand to cup your throbbing cunt, earning a whimper from you. "you're so fucking wet, shit," she hisses, feeling the wet spot on your cotton pink shorts. "who's this for? hm?"

the embarrassment takes over you, making you pitifully whimper as you cover your face. she's quick to swat your hand away and ask in a more demanding voice, "who made you this wet, baby?"

"y-you," you manage to choke out, subconsciously grinding into her hand. she smirks, "good girl."

the praise catches you by surprise, not to mention the way her palm accidentally catches your clothed clit. a soft moan leaves your mouth, feeding into the power dynamic between you two. "oh, you like that name, huh?" she whispers, keeping eye contact with you as she rubs your clothed cunt. "you wanna be my good girl?"

"yes, oh my god-" you're chasing your high, overwhelmed by all the feelings you feel. she hums in response, clearly satisfied by your state. she moves a hand to your face, inserting a thumb into your mouth. you suck on her thumb, moaning around it as your hips stutter against her palm. "you gonna cum f'me, bun?" she coos, not slowing down at all. all you can do is nod, too caught up in the knots forming in your abdomen. "go ahead, pretty girl. cum for mommy."

the name pushes you over the edge, making you clench around nothing in your shorts. abby still has her hand over your cunt, feeling the wet spot grow as you pitifully moan. she talks you through your orgasm, mostly praising you for how good you are to her.

as you catch your breath, she removes her thumb from your mouth and peppers small kisses across your cheeks, releasing small praise in between. once you come to your senses, she's still under you, chuckling at your fucked out state. she mutters something along the lines of 'you're so cute' before you start to giggle with her.

you accidentally grind against her while laughing, making abby whine. you immediately realize you haven't helped her at all, making you guilty. you reach a hand down to her heat, feeling her warm cunt under her sweats. she hisses, hips bucking up onto your fingers. you get up and stand in front of her.

"sit up," you say, catching abby by surprise. she hesitantly sits up, looking suspiciously at you. "what for?" she questions, side eyeing you. you chuckle as you kneel in front of her, placing hands on her strong thighs. you reach a hand up to the band of her bottoms, signaling for them to come off. "m' gonna help you."

if her boxers weren't already soaked, they definitely were now. her face heats up as she shyly takes off her sweats, leaving her in just her wifebeater and undergarments. she puts her knees up to her chest, looking away as you assess the wet patch on her boxers.

"i make you this wet, abs?" you say quietly, pointer finger tracing her slit. she slightly gasps at the contact, slightly nodding to answer your question. "use your words. i know you can do it."

"you do, clearly. you've made me this horny for you for years, so yeah." she's being a brat, acting like she's in charge! you give her cunt a small slap, a small surprised moan leaving her lips.

"act like a brat, get treated like one." she stares at you, surprised that you went from such a submissive state to a dominant persona. you tease her, feeling her sensitive bud through her boxers. she whimpers, gripping onto the couch for any stability. "i think it's about time we get these off," you pull at the top of her boxers, "don't you think?"

she immediately gets up and takes them off, sitting back on the couch. she sits and moves her hips to the edge of the couch to reveal her cunt, glistening with slick. you study her sopping cunt, making her nervous under your gaze. "not so cocky now, hm?" you tease, making her face heat up as she huffs and puffs.

"please t-touch me," she almost whispers, barely able to be heard. you could've let up from here, but you don't.

"what was that? i'm gonna need you to be a bit louder, babe."

she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, swallowing her pride. "please touch me," she musters out.

she was such a pretty site to see, how could you possibly deny her? "okay, baby."

you spread her lips apart, revealing her swollen, sensitive clit. she shudders, cold air meeting her core. she's not sure what to expect until you dip your head down and place a flat tongue on her heat, making her gasp.

her reaction makes you smile; you quickly latch onto her clit and suck, still watching her reaction. she throws her head back, moaning loudly.

"oh, you like that," you say, quickly going back to placing kitten licks onto her cunt. she's overwhelmed with pleasure, loud moans and groans leaving her mouth. when you decide to insert your middle finger into her heat, she's going over the edge, babbling your name and please's. her hand comes down and grips the back of your head, pushing your face deeper into her pussy.

her sounds get you wet all over again, making you moan into her pussy. "s-shit, m' cumming- oh, fuck," she cries, gripping your hair and pulling you closer than ever to her as her heat clenches around your finger. tears are streaming down her face as you continue to lap up her juices. after she catches her breath, you pull her into a sloppy kiss, sharing her fluids in between you two.

"shit," she breathes, pulling away from the kiss, "i'm gonna have to fuck you harder next time."

"next time? oh, we're already making dates?"

"yeah, we're gonna have multiple assignments like this later."

you both laugh and get cleaned up before cuddling on your couch and sleeping in each others arms. :,)

taglist [if you're striked out, i can't tag you!!]: @ellabsweet @digit4lslut @macaroni676 @mostlyhornyandsad @yorlenybaires @Pigwideon

[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 2

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, light flirting, touching hands, hugs, cold/illness, light angst, a teensy bit of pining, teacher!reader (no specific details given in fic, it’s just your job from Before) a/n: This is Chapter 2: Breaking the Ice. I’ve done my best with the overall TLOU (show) timeline, but I can’t find a timeline that has the specific dates/months that Joel and Ellie passed through Jackson and returned. For the purposes of this fic they pass through in late November, 2023, and come back in April, 2024 (ish). Enjoy. :) word count: 7.4k

series main post | series playlist | ao3 | chapter 1 || chapter 3

Chapter 2: Breaking the Ice

Jackson, Spring 2024

You’ve been in Jackson almost four months when Joel and Ellie return. You have a couple of friends, but it hasn’t really been long enough to establish yourself in the community. You’re a bit of a loner. You mostly talk to Tommy, Maria, and some of the others who work the same jobs you do. Tommy vouched for you, which seems to have given you a real in with some of the people here, but you have to put in the work.

You’re still floating, still trying to settle, and not at all ready to return to teaching. You know Tommy told Maria about what you did Before but neither of them have bugged you about it. The idea of walking into a classroom fills you with both longing and dread and for now you’re still avoiding it completely. You and Tommy have both been surprised at how much you like working outdoors – you were truly an indoors-only person Before. The first time he caught you standing in a pile of horse manure three months ago he doubled over laughing and almost fell in it himself. You’re still getting used to being around someone who knows you so well.

Maria is slowly warming up to you, but she’s been a little distant since she realized stories about what Joel (and Tommy, not that she seems to mind that part) has been up to in the last 20 years don’t seem to phase you. You aren’t good enough friends yet to tell her the things you’ve done, the things you regret and the things you don’t. It’s not like you’ve been an angel yourself. You’re not surprised to learn that Joel did whatever it took to protect people, to survive and save his last remaining family member. You can imagine who he became when he thought you were dead along with Sarah. It’s the same thing that happened to you, after all. The same transformation.

After that first meeting at the gates (when you barely said anything at all to each other before Tommy swept all three of you away, ignoring Ellie’s obvious curiosity and her elbow to Joel’s side as you stared at each other in the road, unmoving) you don’t get a chance to really talk with Joel for a couple of days. You get it – you know Joel, the Dad. He’s settling Ellie in and your heart clenches because you can remember what he was like with Sarah. You haven’t thought about Sarah this much in years. 

(That’s a lie – you think about her every single day. But not like this, with two people nearby who knew her, too. It’s different somehow and it’s making you feel things you thought you’d forgotten how to feel. It’s probably best for you to get over that feeling, that hurt, that initial reaction at a distance. You don’t want it to touch Ellie. She doesn’t know you.)

So Joel and Ellie move back into their house, which happens to be next door to yours because Tommy Miller will stop meddling when he’s dead. You don’t talk to Ellie that first day, but you and Joel make eye contact as he stands on his front porch and you stand in the road where Tommy just left you. His eyes are soft and dark and so familiar (and longed for) that it hurts. He takes a hesitant step towards you and speaks his first real words to you in 20 years. The sound of his voice still sends shivers down your spine.

“Can we– I can’t today, I’m sorry, I have to– Ellie–“

“I know, Joel,” you interrupt. “She needs to settle in, and she doesn’t know who I am. Take care of that first.” When you say his name you see it hit him and pin him in place. It was the same for you back at the gate. You drift a little closer to their porch steps.

“I’ve had a little bit longer to sit with the idea that– that you’re still alive. I’ve been here a few months. I’m not going anywhere, ok? We can talk later. Maybe in a couple of days?”

As you talk he’s searching your face and you feel yourself doing the same. Looking for the person you knew Before. At your offer, he looks relieved. 

“Yeah, darlin’. In a couple of days.” 

You can’t hide your reaction to the endearment or the feeling that washes over you, once-familiar and almost frightening as it echoes from Before. You think he might have surprised himself with it, too. When’s the last time he called anyone that? Maybe the last time you heard it. For a moment you just stare at each other.

It takes Ellie poking her head out the door to jumpstart you both back into action.

Joel heads inside and you head home, but you can hear her start to grill him about you as they close the door. (Who the hell is that?) It makes you smile.

…

You spend that night staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, completely unable to sleep. Joel is here, alive, probably 50 feet away from you and just knowing that keeps you awake. The following day you move from your house to work and back again in a daze, avoiding the dining hall, trying not to stare at their house or worry that Joel is avoiding you when you don’t see them. By the next morning, two mostly sleepless nights since Joel and Ellie walked through the gates of Jackson, you’re exhausted. You get dressed and find yourself standing in your front hallway, talking yourself down from going to lean on Tommy for some information. It’s only been two days, like 36 hours, get a fucking grip.

It’s convenient, then, that you’re so close to the door when someone unexpectedly knocks on it. As you open it, your heart leaps into your throat. 

Joel Miller is on your porch. He looks flustered and worried. You can tell he’s been running his hands through his hair – it’s messy and going every which way, just like it used to whenever he was anxious about something. The only difference now is the brown is shot through with gray. 

“Joel? Is everything alright?” As soon as the question leaves your mouth you feel a bit of deja vu, but you have no time to analyze the feeling before he steps towards you and you lose track of the thought at his proximity. You step back to let him in.

“I’m sorry, darlin’, I know we need to talk, but Ellie’s come down with something when we got back. I’ve been taking care of her. I didn’t want you to think I’ve been avoiding you.”

He’s twisting his hands together in front of him as he speaks and you notice one is shaking. You almost reach out to rest your hands on top of his to soothe him, but you stop yourself. You’re not ready to touch him like that and you doubt he’s ready to be touched. You clench your hands into fists and hide them behind your back instead. 

“Oh no, is she alright? Do you need anything?” 

You realize as you offer that you don’t know what help you, an outsider, could provide — everything is different than it was Before, when you would have been in the same house helping with the sick child from the start. You haven’t even really been around kids in years. It’s a weird feeling and you’re not sure what to do with it.

Joel shakes his head. “No, we’re fine, Tommy brought some things by yesterday and this morning, she’s already on the upswing.” He crosses his arms and sighs, looking down at the ground between you unhappily. “But I need to go talk to Maria and some others, and Tommy needs to be there with me, and, well. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sitting with her for a bit?” 

He looks up at you from under his eyelashes, a hesitant look on his face. “Or, um, sitting in the house, just in case she needs something. She’s in bed, you could stay on the couch. I know you don’t know each other yet but I wouldn’t ask anyone else here to do this.” 

It doesn’t escape you that he said yet, that he implied you will get to know Ellie. It wakes something in you, something painful and raw and long-dormant, something you haven’t felt in 20 years. You have the sudden urge to run and hide and you twist your fingers behind your back, willing your feet to stay right where they are. It’s different somehow from the wave of emotion you felt a few months ago, sitting on the ground, tangled in your sleeping bag, shocked at the news that this man was still alive. It’s a feeling you’ve been running from since you realized Sarah must be dead. 

But you’ve basically never said no to this man, not about anything important. You aren’t going to start now.

“Of course, Joel. I’ll follow you over.” That feeling of deja vu is back, and you wonder if he isn’t feeling it too, as he tilts his head at you with a contemplative look on his face. He nods and thanks you and turns to go.

You suddenly realize you’ve been reading his expressions and mannerisms this whole time and you don’t seem to have lost your fluency with it. You wonder if he can still read you just as well, and if he can, what he’s seeing. You’re not sure, yourself. You can’t imagine what you’re giving away.

You shut the door behind him and take a moment, forehead resetting against the wood, to just breathe.

…

When you arrive at the house next door, Joel calls for you to come in from somewhere upstairs and you take a moment to look around. They haven’t even been there two days and they already have some belongings visible in the living room. The kitchen is in a bit of disarray, the way it normally gets when a kid is sick. That feeling that almost sent you running hits again, like an echo. You close your eyes against the memories of Sarah and you miss Joel reappearing at the top of the stairs until he calls your name softly. 

He’s stopped halfway down the stairs and beckons for you to follow him back up. You do and he leads you down the hall to what is clearly Ellie’s room – he goes straight in and sits beside her on the bed as you linger in the doorway.

“Ellie, this is—“ 

“I know who she is, Joel, you already told me,” she interrupts, rolling her eyes and then coughing a bit. The look of disdain she gives him is so classic teenager it takes your breath away. It’s so easy to recall Sarah doing the same thing. You can picture the same look on her face. 

You breathe slowly through it and hope your reaction doesn’t show. You smile, weakly. Ellie is stone faced in response, and she glances at Joel, looking to him to take the lead. He’s looking at you. You gather yourself. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Ellie, I’m sorry you’re feeling shitty.” She looks a little amused at your description but she doesn’t laugh. She’s clearly wary of you, which is fair. “I’m just going to be downstairs on the couch, call if you need anything, ok?”

With that you turn and head back downstairs, and you can see the relief in her expression as you do. You’re also relieved. She’s not comfortable around strangers, and for you the role of babysitter is sitting uncomfortably on your shoulders like an old coat that you outgrew and haven’t touched in years. You imagine it’s worse for her when she’s not feeling great. 

You hear their low voices for a few minutes and then Joel reappears on the stairs, brow furrowed.

“Are you sure she’s ok with this? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” You have to ask.

He looks at you and his brow relaxes, softening a bit. “It’s fine. She’s done nothing but sleep and grill me about you for the last two days, coughing the whole time. She’s just not so great with strangers. I think her curiosity’ll take over, she always wants to know everything. Besides, she’ll probably fall asleep.” You nod as he moves past you towards the door. To your surprise, he reaches out to touch your arm, so softly and briefly you wonder if he even makes contact or if you’re imagining it. You shiver, resisting the urge to hug your arms across your chest. You know it would look like a rejection. “It should only be a couple of hours.”

“We’ll be fine, Joel.” Through the open front door you see Tommy waiting for him outside, and he nods and winks at you before he and Joel make their way towards the center of town. You roll your eyes in response.

…

You spend the first fifteen minutes after they leave sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing. Something about this feels so much like Before it’s making you anxious, but you’re exhausted and you’ve spent 20 years burying or shying away from those memories. You can’t immediately recall why. When it gets to be too much you stand and head into the kitchen, looking for something to do with your hands. Thankfully there’s a pile of dishes waiting for you.

You’re almost done with the dishes, successfully avoiding thinking too hard about Before – or now, or anything at all – when you hear something and turn off the water to listen more closely. You hear your name called softly from upstairs and immediately dry your hands to go see what Ellie needs. 

When you arrive in her doorway she’s sitting up and fidgeting. 

“Hey, what do you need?” You put what is hopefully a neutral and helpful look on your face. You haven’t dealt with a teenager in decades but you remember well how they see through pretense. Sarah never turned down a chance to call any of you on your bullshit. 

She eyes you for a moment, glancing back at her lap where she’s gripping the blanket tightly, before saying, “Can I– Can I ask you some questions? About Before.”

Your eyes widen a little, you can’t help it, but you don’t want to shut her down. Before she can take your expression, whatever it is, as a rejection you say yes and move a little further into the room. She tenses.

“Sorry, I’ll stay over here. Can I get a chair?” She regards you silently for a moment, and then points to the corner to your right where you haven’t looked yet. There’s a chair with a jacket slung over the back. You nod and take a seat. 

“Ask away.”

She’s quiet for a moment, looking like she’s thinking. “So you were going to get married, Before. Right?”

You nod. “Right. Joel proposed in 2002, in December. He meant to do it on New Year’s Eve but he couldn’t wait and proposed early.” Ellie snorts, and then coughs a little bit. You keep yourself from moving towards her to hand her the glass of water on her nightstand. She doesn’t know you. And she’s a teenager, not a little kid. She’s older than Sarah. Don’t think about it.

“That sounds… romantic?” Her tone says that the idea of Joel doing something romantic is so outlandish as to be impossible.

You smile, a little bit sadly. “I know I’m different now, so I imagine he is, too. But he was always a huge romantic. We knew each other for a while before we actually got together, but once we were dating, it was like he couldn’t help it.” You’re suddenly glad you’ve had three months to think about him being alive. This conversation would have felt impossible when you first arrived in Jackson. Now it’s possible, just difficult.

“What, did he like, give you flowers?” The look on her face says she considers this unbelievable and slightly offensive, which reminds you so strongly of 13-year old Sarah you have to take a deep breath. You look away to make it seem like you need to think.

“No, well, he did a few times. But it was other things.”

“Like what?”

“He… well, he took me dancing. For our first date, and then pretty often afterwards.”

“Dancing?” She’s incredulous. “No way, I refuse to believe that old man can dance.” 

You can’t help but grin. “Yeah, dancing. That old man has moves.”

She scoffs and asks what else, clearly moving on from the dancing. For now, you assume.

“Well, we were both bad at remembering dates, but he never let an important date pass without doing something special anyway. He used to do little things for me before I even noticed they needed to be done, especially around the house. He never held back from telling me how he felt. He made it clear how important I was to him, and how much he liked having me in his life, by making space for me in it. I don’t know how much you want to hear about it, but … yeah, the man’s a romantic. No question.” You pause, and smile a little wryly. “Tommy can back me up, and his version’ll probably be way funnier. At our expense.” You feel something inside you start to thaw as you let yourself remember Joel this way.

Ellie looks like she's trying to hide a smile, which you count as a win. Then her expression shifts, and something makes you a little wary with how she sets her shoulders, readying herself to ask another question. 

“D'you want to get back together?” The look on her face says she isn’t sure that’s what she wants. Not at all.

You suddenly feel like you’re on a tightrope. You’re out of breath even though you haven’t moved an inch. You know you have to give the right answer here. But you aren’t even sure what it is for yourself, let alone for Ellie. Before you saw Joel at the gates you’d decided you wouldn’t let this second chance pass you by, but what does that actually mean, practically? For the people you are now?

“Ok, that’s a tough question, and no, I’m not blowing you off. I’m just going to be honest, ok?” You look down, lacing your hands together in your lap. 

“Joel and I were so in love, like head over heels for each other, 20 years ago. We both thought the other person died, and our kid did die. I’m… in shock right now. I think he is, too. I found out he was alive a few months ago, he found out I’m alive two days ago. Nothing feels straightforward or clear." You squeeze your hands together and clear your throat.

“I think we knew each other well enough to know what our lives might have been like in between, what we might have done. Or had to do. Maybe we imagined it sometimes. Um.” You pause to take a deep breath and glance up. Ellie is looking down at her hands. You can’t tell how this is going over with her but you keep going anyway.

“To answer your question… I never stopped loving him. He’s the love of my life. But I can’t say for sure what we’ll do until we talk, which we will at some point. It’s– it’s been too long to assume anything. To think everything is the same.” Your hands are shaking. You think you might be rambling, so you pause to get back on track.

“But that’s not the most important thing right now. You need to get better and you both need to settle in, you know? That’s his focus. As it should be. And I know he’ll talk to you about it. Whatever happens. I’m sorry I don’t have a– a clear answer.”

Your heart is beating fast as you finish. You can feel it in your throat.

Ellie is frowning as she meets your eyes again. She looks lost, her voice almost a whisper as she says, “I don’t… he has Tommy. And now you.” This admission clearly costs her, and she crosses her arms and looks away from you.

Suddenly you think you understand the conversation you’ve been having. You’re surprised and a little warmed by the fact that she was willing to say that to you at all. 

“Ellie, I might not know everything about what Joel’s life has been like for the last 20 years – not yet, anyway – but I do know what that man looks like when he’s being a parent.” You think you see her suck in a breath at your words. You swallow and continue, “it looks the same now as it did then. And yeah, you don’t know me, but I knew him, and going by my own experience? That part of him is still in there. I can see it. As far as that man is concerned, you’re his kid. No question about it. And that’s not something we take back. It just is, ok? It’s forever and it’s unconditional. I promise you, it never goes away. Not for us.”

…

After your conversation with Ellie, which you’re hoping went well but you’re honestly not sure, you’re completely wrung out and over your own feelings. You spend about 45 minutes puttering around the kitchen and living room to avoid feeling any more of them before you hear footsteps on the porch.

Joel opens the door, looking around and spotting you quickly. He looks worried, but his expression clears a little when he finds you sitting at the kitchen table. “Hey, everything alright?”

“Yes, everything's fine. She didn’t have another coughing fit, we chatted for a little bit and then she fell back asleep.” His eyebrows raise when you say you talked to Ellie. As he takes the seat across from you his boot nudges yours under the table and then moves away. You try to ignore the effect that tiny touch has on you. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It went well, I think? You’ll probably hear about it either way.” You finish with a little bit of a rueful smile, hoping she’s warming up to you and not the opposite.

Joel smiles a bit in response. “Thank you again, darlin’. I couldn’t put them off anymore and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to be here with her.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair. 

“To be honest with you, I’m still in shock that you’re here for me to ask. I… well. It feels a little bit too good to be true.” He looks uncertain as he says it. You nod. You feel the same way.

“I know. I… it’s kind of surreal? I want…” you hesitate, but he’s watching you like nothing could be more important than how you finish that sentence. You decide to just let it all out. It’s worked for you so far today. 

“I know it’s been 20 years, Joel, but part of me has felt like everything is the same from the moment I saw you, which is confusing as hell, because the other part of me knows it can’t be and it isn’t. You don’t know what I’ve done, I don’t know what you’ve done. We’re not the same people. Even if it feels like it. Even if looking at you and hearing your voice feels—“ You clear your throat and look away. 

“Even if it feels the same. Even if I want… Even if…” you trail off, not sure if you’re ready to finish that sentence, after all. You realize you’re gripping your hands together so tight it hurts, and you slowly relax them and flatten them on the table in front of you. You take a breath before continuing, gaze trained on your hands. 

“It’s like we hit pause 20 years ago and neither of us knew for sure what happened so there was no closure, no clear explanation. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know how to bridge that time with now. How to remember that version of me, the one you knew, and be this me. How to… Joel, so much happened, and I imagined so many versions of you. What our lives would have been like.” You take a deep breath. “I guess that’s what we need to talk about.”

You look over, gaze low to avoid his eyes, and see Joel is clenching his fists a bit, like he’s holding back. You’d like to think it’s from reaching towards you but maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Maybe you shouldn’t assume you’re reading him as well as you think you are. Maybe you need to spend more time reminding yourself of the things you don’t know about this man. 

Before your thoughts can spiral too far, though, he does reach out. You watch as his fists relax and you track the movement of his hand as it lifts from the table and slowly extends towards yours. He’s trembling, you notice, and then you realize you are too. You can’t tear your eyes away as his fingertips lightly touch the back of your left hand where it rests on the table. You feel all of the hair on your arms stand up in response. 

“Darlin’, I…” he pauses, and you both hold your breath as your eyes meet. 

Time slows to a crawl. He puts more gentle pressure into your connection, sliding his hand over the back of yours, touching you with intent for the first time in two decades. His thumb moves lightly back and forth over your wrist, a soothing motion. All of your focus narrows to that point of connection, even as his gaze pins you in place. You can’t look away. 

Holy hell. His hand fully covers yours and squeezes. After the two barely-there touches you’ve shared today it feels almost obscene. His hand on yours in the present calls up memories of his hands on you Before and you're dizzy, spinning through your memories. You didn’t know you could still feel this way. Not even for Joel. 

He opens his mouth to say something and your gaze drops to his lips. You’re desperate to hear it, whatever it is, when suddenly the moment pops like a soap bubble as the more annoying Miller sticks his head in the front door.

“Joel! I brought food. Oh! Hey there, sunshine.” He greets you, and then grins at you. “Am I interrupting something?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, which is so absurd it kickstarts you back into motion. You need to get out of here. 

“No!” You say a bit too loudly as you leap to your feet, breaking your connection with Joel. You feel its absence immediately. Your hand is tingling. “I should get going, I don’t want to intrude and I want Ellie to be comfortable so she can get better. Joel, I– do you want–“

He interrupts you and catches your eye to hold you in place, but he doesn’t move his hands from the table. “Yes, I do.” You’re glad he does. You aren’t actually sure what you were going to ask, but at least you’re in agreement about it, whatever it is. “We still need to talk. I’ll find you tomorrow?”

You nod, a bit wildly. “I’ll be at the stables all day but I should be home around four.” He smiles at you, starting to stand, and you make a beeline for the door, elbowing Tommy a bit as you pass him. He makes a big show of staggering away, moaning and overselling it, but he deserves it anyway.

As you turn onto the road, you can’t help but glance back at the house you’ve just left. The sight that greets you stops you in your tracks – Joel is leaning against his own open door frame, arms crossed, looking pensive as he watches you walk home. 

Suddenly it hits you, your tired mind finally recalling the reason for all of the deja vu, and your spine stiffens as you inhale quickly in surprise. You almost call out to ask Joel if he remembers. He has to, right? It’s basically what got you together Before and the similarities are almost too much for you to believe. Your eyes move down and back up, looking around the porch, taking him in. All it took to break the tension the first time around and get you to actually start something together was a sick kid.

As you meet his eyes again you’re sure that you’re both remembering it. He can see your moment of realization, and after that moment in the kitchen, you know he can still read you. The expression on his face is complex but you see affection and regret, weighed down by all the memories you share. He tilts his head and smiles at you, a bit ruefully. You smile in response, hugging your arms around yourself. 

All of your nerves and your worries about your upcoming conversation fall away – you still have enough in common with this man that you can have this conversation, without words, 20 feet apart. 20 years apart.

A moment ago you felt like the last few hours had scraped to the bottom of your emotional reserves and left you empty. But the smile you and Joel share sparks something inside you and you’re filled with a sweet, tentative anticipation that you barely know what to do with. It’s been years since you felt anything like it. 

Tomorrow.

…

Austin, Spring 2001

You were setting your coffee down on your desk, mentally starting your to-do list, when you were surprised by a knock at your front door. 

A peek through your curtains revealed your neighbor, Joel Miller, pacing agitatedly on your front porch. 

Ever since you met on the day you moved in almost six months ago Joel had been nothing but welcoming. And from the moment you met his eyes that day you knew you were in trouble. 

In some ways, you were typical, friendly neighbors. You saw the Millers almost every day, if only to wave at each other from your driveways on busy mornings. You’d been over to babysit Sarah for a short afternoon or evening a few times. They even had you over for a welcome-to-town dinner early on and you’d traded dinner at each other’s homes about once a month after that. 

But what was going to get you in trouble was Joel the Handyman. He did end up fixing some of your bookshelves after the movers broke them – stop apologizing, darlin’, I told you I’m happy to help – which led to him fixing more and more things around your house. Every time he came over to fix something he would spot another creaky cabinet door or leaky faucet or crooked light fixture and promise to come back another day to take care of it. You’d swear he came over to fix something every week. At this point you were surprised there was anything left to fix. 

You always sat nearby while he worked and the two of you talked about anything and everything – whatever funny thing your students had done that week, how Sarah was doing (with school and with soccer and with everything else), Joel’s frustrations at work, Tommy’s latest escapades. Sometimes it felt like Joel knew more about you and your day-to-day life than anyone, since your friendships at work were still new and you’d moved far away from everyone who knew you at home when you took this job. You always ended up talking for much longer than it took Joel to finish whatever task he’d had in mind, usually sitting together on your back porch or at your kitchen table until he absolutely had to go. 

(His visits also gave you the opportunity to watch him work – to watch him flex his shoulders and arms and to admire the muscles in his back and thighs, (mostly) unnoticed. You’d feel bad about it if you hadn’t caught him with his gaze locked on your legs in your house shorts more than once. And then there was the time he’d come over to fix the ceiling fan – he’d climbed a ladder in your living room while you stood nearby to hand him his tools. His chest had been only a foot or so away from your face and when he’d raised his arms his t-shirt had lifted far, far above his jeans. You’d lost track of the conversation, eyes locked on the dark trail of hair that disappeared into the band of his exposed briefs. You’d vaguely thanked whatever deity might be out there that he had forgotten to wear a belt that day. As he stood on his toes and shifted his hips his jeans had slipped a little lower, showing you just a hint of an outline of something you had to stop yourself from picturing. You’d gone quiet, distracted and far away until he coughed lightly and your eyes shot back up to his face. 

“Still with me, darlin?” He’d smirked at you, knowingly, but had gotten right back to work after, continuing the conversation like nothing had happened.)

It felt like you were always catching each other trading looks. The flirtation you’d started that day next to the moving truck hadn’t turned into anything more, but it also hadn’t faded into anything less.

Pacing on your porch that morning, Joel looked as handsome as always, but he was clearly distressed. His normally only somewhat unruly curly hair stood on end as if he’d been tugging at it.

“Morning Joel, something I can do for you?” you asked as you swung the door open and invited him in. Despite how frequently he’d been in your home to fix things it was still a surprise to see him before 8:00 AM on a Tuesday. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, darlin’, but I’m in a bit of a bind. Are you working from home today?” Joel asked as he stepped inside. 

“Yes, is everything alright?” It was clear that Joel was trying to be polite but something was making him more anxious than you’d ever seen him. He was alternately twisting his hands together or running his hands through his hair as he shifted his weight. 

“It’s Sarah. She—“

“Oh no, what happened?”

“She’s just sick, so she can’t go to school but Tommy can’t be here today and I have to go to a job site for a couple of hours. I managed to reschedule some meetings but not everything. Could you possibly come work over at mine for a bit, keep an eye on her? She’ll probably sleep the whole time, you know, but I just don’t want her to be alone, she’s not old enough yet–”

“Joel, of course, I’d be happy to,” you cut him off, trying to reassure him with a smile. “Take your time, I’ve just got a day of grading and reading planned. I can be there for her if she needs me.”

The look of sheer relief that broke across Joel’s face surprised you as he leaned forward, grabbing your shoulders and resting his forehead against yours. Your breath caught in your throat. 

“Oh thank you so much, darlin’. I swear I’ll call as soon as I’m on my way back. Do you need help grabbing anything?” 

As he stepped back Joel raised his left hand and trailed his thumb across your cheek lightly, almost so light you couldn’t feel it, then brushed his fingertips down your neck. You felt your focus narrow to the point where he touched your face before he stepped away, putting more space between you. Your whole body shivered. This is not the time for that. You blinked a few times.

“Oh, um, no I’ve got it. I’ll pack up and be there in a minute.” Get it together. 

…

About 10 minutes later you were raising your hand to knock at the Millers’ front door when Joel flung it open in front of you and invited you in. 

“Sarah’s back asleep upstairs,” he said in a low voice, “but I woke her up when I got back to let her know you’re here. Feel free to set up wherever you’d like. You can check on her in about an hour – I wrote down what meds she’s had and when she can have them again over here on the counter. I’ll call you in a couple of hours. But call me if you need anything at all, ok? And if she gets worse. And you know where everything is, I know–“

“Joel. Don’t worry, we got this.” You smiled and reached out to squeeze his upper arm, trying to reassure him. 

“I know you do, I know, it’s just—“ he looked worriedly up the stairs before he sighed, shoulders dropping a little, and quickly rubbing his hands over his face. He started to turn towards the door. 

“I know, Joel. It’s Sarah. But I got this, ok? I’m here for you.”

Joel paused, midway through his turn towards the door, and looked back at you. He tilted his head as he considered you, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“I know, darlin’. You always are.” He said, almost too quietly for you to hear. “I’ll —“

“You’ll call me, I know. Now get out of here, Joel Miller.” You pointed playfully at the door. Joel cracked the first weak smile you’d seen on him all morning, nodded his head, and left. 

…

You’d been working your way through your students’ papers for about 45 minutes when there was some movement upstairs. You quickly set everything down on the couch and moved towards the stairs. “Sarah? Are you awake, sweetheart?” You heard a quiet response but couldn’t quite make it out, so you headed up the stairs to check on her.

You found Sarah sitting on her bed, looking a bit woozy and still mostly asleep. “Hi. I have to pee but I’m kinda dizzy.” Her voice was soft and scratchy and she sounded congested.

“Let me help you. I’ll get you some water after, alright? And you can have more medicine and get back to sleep until lunch.” Sarah nodded sleepily and leaned on you as you moved towards the bathroom together. 

“This is kinda embarrassing,” she said softly, and you laughed. 

“More embarrassing than the Great Tampon Panic of 2000?” You nudged her softly with your elbow and she laughed, and then coughed. 

“Don’t make me laugh! No, nothing can beat the way dad lost it that day.”

You smiled, knowing you were probably both remembering Joel’s panicked sprint to your house over the summer when Sarah got her first period and the ensuing chaos. You had been living next door for about a month and you were all more comfortable around each other after that. 

After a successful, if slow, bathroom trip, you got Sarah another dose of her medicine and tucked her back into bed. “I’ll be right downstairs, ok? I’ll check on you again soon.” You ran your hand lightly over her forehead and hair to soothe her, but also to see if she was warm. She didn’t feel hot under your hand. Sarah nodded and was soon asleep once again. 

…

Joel didn’t manage to call until about two hours later. 

“I’m so sorry, darlin’, I wanted to call an hour ago but I got caught up. How’s my girl?”

“She’s alright. We had a short bathroom break and another round of cold meds and she’s asleep again. I updated your note.”

Joel sighed, sounding more tired than you’d ever heard him. “I'm hoping to leave in the next half hour, so I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“We’ll be here.”

…

Much later, around dusk, you were finishing up a stack of assignments when you heard a key in the front door. You set everything aside and turned to see Joel quietly shutting the door behind him.

“Welcome back.”

“Hey, darlin’, how’s she doing?” he asked, setting his keys on the table by the door and stopping to remove his boots. 

“She’s been asleep since she had some toast around lunch time. I peeked in there about 15 minutes ago but she was still out.”

He sighed, and looked towards the stairs, brow furrowed and clearly worried. “I was hoping she’d sleep it off.”

“She could still be doing that. When I did talk to her earlier she was groggy but still herself – she told me not to make her laugh because it made her cough.” You smiled a little. “And she didn’t have a fever when I checked a little while ago.”

Joel nodded and turned back to look at you. “Even when she feels terrible she’s still a force of nature. I can’t thank you enough, darlin’. I know it was a lot, and it took me longer than I hoped, but–“

“Joel, it was fine.” You cut him off. “It wasn’t a lot, it wasn’t even that long at all, and I did just what I would have done anyway.” You tilted your head towards your stack of graded papers on the couch. Joel turned fully towards you, hands on his hips, and tilted his head while he considered you. The unreadable face was back.

“You look mighty comfortable over there.”

“Oh sorry, let me clean up—“

“No, darlin’, that’s not what I meant. No need to rush out. It’s a good thing. You look good. Over there, I mean. Um.” He smiled at you, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, looking a bit sheepish. You knew what you wanted that to mean but you weren’t sure he meant it that way. Did you look good, or look good here, comfortable on his couch, in his home? You felt your face start to warm as you smiled at each other.

“Can I help with anything before I go?” You ducked your head a little and started shoving your papers into your bag. 

“No, I’ve got it. I’d invite you to stay for dinner as thanks, but I don’t think anyone in this household will be much company today. Next week, ok? Come over for dinner, maybe Sunday? Give her some time to get better first.” He took a couple of steps towards you, watching as you packed up your things. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Joel–“

“Come for dinner,” he interrupted you, catching your eye. “Please.”

You stood and found yourself only a foot or so away from him, which didn’t help you calm your reaction to him. “Ok, ok, you know I’d love to.” You smiled and Joel smiled in response. “I don’t need convincing.”

Looking satisfied, Joel turned and led the way to the door. You grabbed your bag and followed, noticing he was standing a little taller than he had been that morning.

You started to move past him towards the door, but before you could, Joel suddenly reached out and pulled you into a hug. You found yourself with your arms circling his waist as he placed one hand securely at your lower back and used the other to gently cup the back of your head. You pressed your face to his shoulder. So quietly you almost missed it, he whispered, “Thank you again, darlin’. I was still worried, of course, but I felt so much better knowing it was you here with my girl all day.”

You couldn’t help it – you sank into his arms a little, returning the hug tightly. “It’s never a problem, Joel. You know I love that girl.”

You felt more than heard a little hitch in his breath as he paused before slowly stepping out of the embrace. “Yeah, I reckon I do. We’ll see you Sunday, right? Let’s say 6.”

“I’ll be here.” You smiled, touched his forearm briefly, and headed out the door. 

You felt his eyes on you the whole way to your front door, and glanced back as you dug out your keys to find him leaning against his own door frame, watching you. When he saw you turn he smiled a little and raised a hand to wave, finally ducking inside his own house only when you did the same. It felt like something had shifted. Something more was brewing between the two of you.  

Sunday. 

...

a/n: see you next Sunday for chapter 3! I decided not to split this or the next one half, so the next chapter has parts in Jackson and in Austin. Also, fun fact - this Austin section for chapter 2 was the first part of this fic I wrote, back in April.

Tag list:

@morgaussy @jay-zzle @bluetattoos

chapter 3 is posted!

[sweetlittlegingy]

Mr. Lieutenant Sir

☑︎ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Sweet Nothings Masterlist

☑︎ Pairing: Jake Seresin x Y/n Seresin (Mitchell)

☑︎ Word Count: 5.9 K

☑︎ Warnings: Infertility, IVF, Adoption, Dad!Jake, Teacher/Mom!Reader, Kindergarteners, bad foster parents, child neglect, flirty Javy, protective Jake

☑︎ A/n: Never believe that I'm actually on hiatus, I finished this two days ago. Suprise

☑︎ Library (Follow for updates! I no longer have a taglist.)

A giggle leaves your lips as a pair of arms wrap around your waist and pull you away from the pile of dishes soaking in the water. The record player quietly plays in the background, and the lack of noise from the living room is a clear indication that Javy either went home without saying goodbye or he’s fallen asleep on the couch. The latter most likely, given how he never leaves without a hug and goodbye.

“Javy fall asleep?”

You get a hum in response, though it’s muffled against your neck as Jake gently kisses along the curve of it. With a shrug of your shoulder, Jake lifts his face and allows you to turn around and face him. You lean against the countertop, while your hands wrap around Jake’s neck and run through the hair at the base.

“Remember when you told me that for share time, Gray couldn’t stop talking about a model airplane he had?”

Your head gently nods as you enjoy the close moment with your husband. Mrs. Adam had gone out and bought little model planes for both twins when she saw the shirts that Jake had picked out. It was the sweetest thing, and you were so thankful that she not only cared but supported you and Jake every time you showed up with something for the twins.

“Well, I talked to your dad last week and asked about the possibility of the class coming to the base for a field trip.” Your hands stop and a smile graces your face, eyebrow popping up in the way of saying ‘oh really.’ “I didn’t want to tell you until I got a yes, but Mav told me tonight that Cyclone gave him the go-ahead.”

“Really?!” Your smile slowly grows, and your mind is already spinning up a plan of how to make everything happen. “The kids would love that, all of them. Of course, I’ll need to send out permission slips and a Friday would probably work be–”

“Sweet Girl, slow down.” The words cut off your ramble. While Jake rubs at your arms in a comforting fashion. “We have time baby; we will work it all out.”

You nod, but your smile remains the same. Since you started teaching you had always thought that it would be fun to take the kids on a field trip to Top Gun. Though the opportunity had never arisen, especially during the first couple of years. You were a new teacher and still wary of your abilities in handling 20 5-year-olds off school grounds. Now, you were more than confident that you could handle it, especially with the parents you knew would be volunteering. Your excitement may have also stemmed from how much you knew that the twins would enjoy themselves.

...

“Eyes on me and clap three times, my little darlings!” Your voice echoes over the busy classroom, though at the request 20 little faces turn to you and clap or snap like you requested. “Very good! Now before you go home today, please give me your permission slips for our field trip this Friday. If you do not have them, come and talk to me.”

Your eyes scan through the classroom, each of your kids happily smiling while they take their permission slips from their go-home folder. Though your eyes eventually settle on Grayson and Madelaine. The pair of them sit quietly together, neither of them moving to take out a permission slip.

They had been oddly quiet all day, Gray was normally quiet though he always talked with you and Laine. While Laine was your little chatterbox in class who talked to everyone, though today neither of them said more than they were requested to. It had been eating away at you since you noticed it this morning and you had hoped that by this afternoon it would be better. Though as you look at them now, it only appears to have gotten worse.

The ringing of the bell pulls your attention back and has you focusing on the whole class again. A small line forms in front of you and your teaching aid Melissa, each of the kids waiting to hand you their signed slip. You give each of them a smile as they walk past and hand you their slip while following Melissa out to the pickup area. You count as they go past and as the last child in line goes out the door, your head pops up after only counting 18 heads.

Your eyes immediately find the twins, who are slowly putting their books away and looking as if going home was the last thing that they wanted to do.

You glance out to the hallway, checking to see if Melissa was going to come to tell you that Janice had actually shown up. Though the hallway is empty, clearly meaning she hadn’t arrived yet. Not worrying about the incompetent woman, you head over to the twins hoping to find out what has been eating away at them all day.

“Hello, my little munchkins.” Your voice gets their attention and Gray gives you a small smile, while Laine looks at you in defeat. You crouch down beside the desks, leaning over to fix the new glasses on Gray’s nose. “What’s going on? Why are my two favorite people so blue?”

You wait for the sassy comeback, though you don’t get one and a frown settles on your face. You rise from them and head back over to your desk, while they both silently watch you.

“I was saving this for a special day, and I think that today is that day.”

You rummage around the desk drawer until you find it. Usually, you would have Mrs. Adams give the children things that you had found for them, but last month you had found an antique children’s book that was in near-perfect condition and knew you had to buy it. The pair excelled in reading, and you knew that they would love to have a book of their own, instead of checking them out from the library.

You turn back around with the leather-bound book, only to find both Gray and Laine leaning over their desk trying to get a closer look. You give them both a smile, before placing the book down on Gray’s desk.

“I found this and knew how much you both enjoyed reading. I thought that it might be special for you, to have your own book that can take you on adventures and to different worlds anytime you want.”

The both of them smile happily, though as Madelaine opens it a small frown settles on her face. She looked toward Grayson who had yet to touch the book and now sported a small glare. Her eyes look towards you and your heartaches at the pain swimming in the baby blue.

“Can you keep it safe for us Ms. Cece?”

Your brow furrows in question, though before you can comment Gray speaks up.

“I got in trouble after my glasses got broken, I didn’t mean to run into things, but it just happened.” His voice is small, and you can barely hear him over the pounding in your head. You were positive that they were talking about Janice and her husband, but your mind was still reeling over the revelation.

“That’s why we don’t get to go see Mr. Jake and his plane.” Laine huffs as she says it and the way she crosses her arms would have made you giggle in any different situation. “They took everything as punishment, even our little model planes.”

It was like everything around you had turned off, and all you could think or see was the twins crying. The pair of them getting in trouble for things that aren’t their fault and how Janice and her husband shouldn’t have foster children at all. It didn’t matter whether they had the twins or any other children, you would be just as mad. They had no right to treat innocent children so harshly. It wasn’t just what you had found out today, it was the buildup of information you had learned over the last 4 months, and you had finally reached your breaking point.

Madelaine’s small sniffle pulls you from your thoughts and the sight before you almost break you completely. You were used to Laine comforting Gray; being the protector out of the two of them. Though now it’s Gray that holds onto Laine’s hands while resting their heads against one another. He doesn’t say anything, but just holds her and provides the safe space they’ve always had. The proximity of one another, their other half that made them whole.

Before you can think better of it, you lean forward to hold the pair. The sniffles subside momentarily as they both look up at you, before crawling into your lap. They both cling onto a shoulder as you whisper sweet nothings and rock them side to side.

“I’m going to fix it, okay?” Gray nods, while Laine clutches on tighter to you. “It’s gonna be okay.” You mutter the words and this time you’re not sure if you’re saying them for the twins or for yourself. The silver lining of your eyes breaks and a few stray tears fall, though you’re quick to wipe them away. You didn’t want either of them to see you cry, the both of them needed a solid, strong pillar to clutch onto in their storm-filled lives.

...

Jake hadn’t made it home yet, and you couldn’t seem to relax. You had been on the move since you had gotten home, tidying up the house, cooking dinner, and starting a batch of laundry, all to avoid the pending conversation that would no doubt be confrontational.

Janice had arrived just as you were taking the twins out, the three of you had stopped crying and knew that someone would be arriving soon. You had asked Janice if you could give her a call tonight, not wanting to have the conversation in front of the twins, and she bitterly told you that you could. Yet here you were, avoiding it. The last conversation you had with the woman ended with you in tears and you could only imagine how this one would go.

You glance at the clock and find that it’s just after 5, Jake would be home around 5:30 and you wanted to be off the phone by the time he arrived. Jake had been more than vocal about the langue lashing he wanted to give them, and you knew if he had the chance, he would jump on it faster than you could blink.

You settle against the kitchen counter, forgoing the idea of sitting, you were high-strung, and staying in one place wasn’t going to happen. You finger ghosts along your contact list until you find Janice’s name, and the small note of foster mom makes you sneer. The line rings quietly, but also as if it was a blaring alarm until there’s a click in the line, followed by a loud what.

“Hello Mrs. Williams, this is Y/n Seresin, the twin’s teacher.”

Your fingers drum against the counter as you wait for a reply, though the only thing she gives you is a hum. Your hand rakes through your hair as you push off the counter and start pacing.

“I was hoping to talk with you about the twins if that’s okay?” The words are barely passed your lips, before Janice cuts in.

“What did they do now?”

Her voice holds such disgust and animosity that it stuns you for a moment and causes you to take a few deep breaths.

“Nothing, they are wonderful in class. I was actually calling about our school field trip this coming Friday.”

 “Oh, so they came to you whining about not going, is that it?”

Her voice echoes through that phone and stuns you momentarily. Though when you hear her yelling the twin’s names, you’re quick to cut in.

“No, they didn’t say anything.” Your tone comes out harsher than you intended, though it does get Janice to stop yelling at or for the twins. “I noticed that they lacked a permission slip and wanted to reach out.”

You fear that the line has gone dead momentarily because the only sound you can hear is your own breathing. You pull the phone from your face and glance at it, to see that it is still on the call.

“Well, this Friday we are going out of town and even if we were in town, I’m not going to come chaperone. Not to mention, you are asking for 15 dollars for shirts. What do they need shirts for?”

You hear the door close and you glace to your side to find a smiling Jake. Though his face falls as he takes in your flustered appearance. You hold a finger up to your lips to stop him from talking, you couldn’t multitask right now.

“I really do think that this would be a great learning opportunity for Madelaine and Grayson.” Jake settles against the counter next to you, as he listens understanding who is on the other line without you having to say. “I don’t think that they should miss out on the experience, ma’am.”

“Listen here, unless you’re going to fork up the 30 dollars and be legally liable for them, not only Friday but the whole weekend, you need to shut up and mind your own business.”

You’re startled at her harsh words and your hate for the twins living situation only grows the more you talk to the woman. Though before you can reply, the phone is taken from your hand by a very mad Jake. Your eyes widen in worry, though he gives you a small smile that is in no way reassuring.

“Hello, ma’am. This is Lieutenant Commander Jake Seresin, I’ve heard that you have a few issues with the field trip my wife has planned.” You can’t hear exactly what Janice replies, though you know that it’s not what Jake deems acceptable to hear. You silently watch Jake, though his eyes don’t move toward you once. They remain in a harsh glare, facing the back wall of the kitchen. “Ma’am, I understand that you don’t want to pay the fe–”

Your eyes widen when you hear Janice’s voice echo through the phone. There weren’t main people that cut off Jake and the ridged body language, followed by the small click of his tongue is a clear sign of how little it happened. You would have laughed at how much she screwed up, but you can’t stop the way you grab onto Jake’s hand. Your fingers intertwine to get his attention, and your gaze silently pleads him not to go off on her. You didn’t know what the woman was capable of, and you were already afraid that this conversation would lead her to punish the twins.

“Ma’am, if you would’ve been so kind to not interrupt me, you would have known that I will pay for Grayson and Madelaine. I just need you to sign the paper so that they can go.”

Her voice lowers through the phone, and you catch a word every now and again, as you watch Jake toed boot tap away on your hardwood floors.

“They’re going to be in the safest setting that they have, probably ever been in. Not only will my wife and the other parents be watching them, but I will personally be watching them. So don’t tell me that your reluctance is because you are worried about them. I know what type of living situation you’re providing for them, and it sure as hell isn’t safe in any way, shape, or form.”

...

Jake couldn’t even lie and say that he hadn’t meant for his tone to come off harsh. No, he wanted Janice to realize just how pissed off he was. Pushing off the counter, he couldn’t help but pace, it had always helped him calm down growing up. The feeling of your hand loosening in his hold pulls his attention back to you. Taking a step closer to you, he barely listens to the squawking echoing in his ear and tightens his hold on you before lifting the back of your hand to place a gentle kiss on it. Your eyes watch him wearily before they soften, and your own lips meet the back of his hand.

“Look I don’t care what you think about my parenting.” The words pull Jake’s attention back to the conversation at hand. “I don’t care if the little shits go or not, even if it’s going to be a ‘great experience’. If you want to take them so damn bad, then do it. But I’m not paying for them, and you’ll have to figure out what to do with them for the weekend because we won’t be home.”

The harsh sigh that leaves Jake’s lips isn’t other than that; a smack in the face that the kid's wellbeing meant nothing to their foster parents, and that Jake didn’t know if he could fix it.

“Just sign the permission slip.”

He doesn’t know what else to say and doesn’t leave room for Janice to reply before he hangs up.

...

Jake settles the phone on the kitchen counter, before looking back up at you. Your hands are still intertwined while you cradle them in your lap. A sigh leaves the both of your lips, and a deep ache settles in your chest as Jake pulls you to him. Folding your form into his chest as he places a gentle kiss upon the crown of your head. How were you supposed to take the class on a field trip without the twins, it wasn’t fair.

“You think Mrs. Adams could keep a secret?” The words are whispered into your hair and cause you to pull back from Jake in question. “I mean we need to have a reliable witness for when we sign an agreement to take care of the kids for the weekend. I don’t know if it’s internally legal, but neither is Janice leaving the kids at the house alone.”

“Jacob Seresin, what in the world are you talking about?”

The cocky smirk you fell in love with settles on his lips and has you smiling in reaction, the ache in your chest easing slightly at the idea Jake is suggesting.

“The twins are going on the field trip and then staying with us.” A harsh sigh leaves his lips, and his smirk settles into a harsh line. “I won’t let her ruin this for them.”

Your heart blooms in love, once again left to wonder how you got such a loving and loyal man. Your hand slips from his and rises up to cup his cheek, as your thumb works across the frown.

“I love you.” Jake’s eyes fall on you at the comment, though no smiles are passed between the two of you. Your eyes say enough, together you would jump headfirst into the unknown. “I love you so damn much.”

...

“Javy, honey I love you.” Your eyes look to the pilot, who stands behind your husband while occasionally making flirty eyes with Ms. Reynolds. “But why are you here?”

Janice was supposed you come in today and sign the form stating that you and Jake would be legally in charge of the twins for the weekends, as well as be liable if something happened to them. Mrs. Adams had been easy to convince, going as far as to draft up the paperwork herself. It might not have been “law binding” but it sure did look like something a lawyer would draft up.

“Well Jake told me that he needed back up,” Your husband's eyes flash back over his shoulder and look at Javy in bewilderment. “this Janice lady scares him.”

The words cause you and Mrs. Adams to giggle, but it's Jake muttering that Javy only wanted to see Ms. Reynolds that has the pair of you cackling. The harsh knock against the door has all of your eyes fleeting to Mrs. Adams' office entry, the laughter in you quickly dies down as Janice and Ed Williams glare at the five of you. They each carry a small pack that resembles the totes you had bought the twins at the beginning of fall, though the dirt on them makes you question if they're the same ones.

“Well, aren't you all just peppy.”  The pair of them drop the bags harshly, and the sneer that Janice gives you makes you shrink back slightly into Jake. You weren’t normally scared so easily, but the pair of them made you uneasy. Their eyes hadn’t left you, even when they addressed Mrs. Adams. Though as an arm wraps around your waist, your shoulders drop and relax further into Jake.

“Right, shall we get this finished up? Lunch will be over soon, and Melissa can only fill in so long.”

Mrs. Adams gives you a small smile that has you giggling. You loved Melissa dearly and she was one of the sweet people you had ever met, though the kids also knew how much of a pushover she was and often conned her into playing Heads Up, Seven Up.

“Yeah, we need to get on the road,” Ed answers Mrs. Adams gruffly as he steps forward to snatch the pen off the desk and sign without any other conversation. The topic of them getting on the road doesn’t go unnoticed, but you keep your questions to yourself for the time being.

Janice grabs the pen from Ed, and the smack of her gum has you glaring slightly. Her signature is messy and hardly legible.

“Which of you five are signing?” Janice flicks the pen out, scanning the room with it before flicking it into your open palm. You give her a small smile and thank you, though she only sneers in reply.

Your eyes flitter from Janice and Ed and back to Jake, who gives you a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze. You move to sign the document, as Jake steps out from around you and you can hear him introduce himself. From the corner of your eye, you can see Jake’s hand clasping Ed’s in a handshake and the tight grasp Jake has on Ed is anything up-friendly.

Jake lets go only to slide in behind you and gently takes the pen, as a gentle hand settles on your back before signing. The both of you finish and the weight in your chest seems to lift as Mrs. Adams then signs as a witness and gives you a small wink and smile that makes your own grow.

It felt different, the document signed was so much more than just the twins getting to go to Top Gun. It felt as though something deeper had solidified and now you only had to wait for it to become reality.

Your attention is pulled back to the Williams as they move to leave without saying anything else, though you are quick to ask what time you could pick them up in the morning. Both stop in their tracks and a full laugh is released from each of them.

“I wouldn’t know Ms. CeCe.” Janice all but spits the name out as it were venom. “We’re leaving now, not our problem according to that little paper. Have fun with the little devils.”

You had heard the twins mention more than enough times that their foster parents weren't fond of them, though hearing them talk about the children with such hatred shocked you and angered you went in a way that was indescribable. You're stunned in silence momentarily and by the time you realize that you don't have booster seats for either of the kids, the Williams are long gone from the school.

The defeated side falls from your lips, as you're trying to figure out how you can get two booster seats before the end of the school day while still teaching. Jake's hand rests against the small of your back and the slight movement of it reels your mind back in.

“They didn't give us booster seats. I haven't even gotten anything set up yet for them to sleep on, I was going to do it tonight.” You don't direct the statement towards anyone in particular, but you know Jake will be the first one working to find a solution.

“Don't worry sweetheart, Javy and I will take care of it. We've still got a couple hours before we have to be back. We'll go get everything and drop off the booster seats, before heading back to base.”

The words are muttered against your temple before a gentle kiss is placed. You're quick to bring Jake’s hand resting on your waist up to your mouth, to place a gentle kiss of thanks on it. You glance at Mrs. Adams who gives you a smile before she announces to everyone that Melissa is undoubtedly being manipulated by the children. A round of laughs echoed through the room before you leaned up to give Jake a kiss, placing all the love and thank you that you couldn't say into it.

He gives you a small smile before clasping your cheeks and kissing you on the forehead, turning to drag an unhappy Javy away from a smiling Ms. Reynolds. Before they can get far Javy calls out to have you give Ms. Reynolds his phone number. Jake’s laugh echoes off the hallways before he calls out as well, telling you that he may be a little late getting home tonight.

...

You wave to Mrs. Paulson as she guides Allison across the street. Mrs. Paulson had been the one parent that you could always count on, and once again she came to your aid when she decided to help supervise the field trip. You had met her husband at a parent-teacher conference and had instantly fallen in love with the family. Not only was Allison a wonderful student, but her parents were always open to trying new ideas. She just gotten diagnosed with ADHD this last summer and the Paulson, Mrs. Adams, and you were working up the best plan to help Allison.

You glance across the street once more making sure that everyone has been picked, before turning around to find Gray and Laine lying in the front grass watching the sky. Today was warmer than usual and the 70-degree December weather was quite enjoyable. You see Gray point to the sky, causing you to look up to see what the pair have been intensely watching.

A smile forms on your lips as you see a jet fly overhead, one of the perks of being just off base. You had love planes growing up and were always on base when your father was home, seeing the pair of them just as in love with planes only warms your heart more. Your movement toward the twins has them looking at you as you settle on your back beside Grayson, so he now rests between you and Madelaine.

“I think they're doing drills,” You hum in reply to Gray, waiting for him to continue. “They’ve been running the same pattern since we laid down.”

“See, watch how the two side planes break off and the middle one breaks toward either one.” You glance at Madelaine, silently wondering when she had become interested in planes. “Maybe it’s Mr. Jake. He’s a good flyer, right Gray.”

“Right.”

They both sound so sure of themselves and you giggle at how serious they are. Jake was going to eat this up when you told him, just one more thing to add to the ever-growing ego. You lay with them for a bit, enjoying how they talk about each plane so animatedly. You glance at your watch and find that it's nearing 4:30; the three of you needed to get home to ready where the twins are sleeping.

Home.

The word jars you for a minute and you have to silently remind yourself that it wasn’t the twin’s home. The arrangement was only for the weekend, and they weren’t your children, no matter how much you wished that they were. 

“Alright you two, we need to get going.” You rise onto your elbows and find the pair of them grinning at you. You had talked to them the morning after you called Janice and asked if they would be okay staying with you. You would never want to make either of them uncomfortable, and luckily they were more than excited at the idea of staying with you. More so when they realized it meant they would get to go on the field trip.

...

The car ride home was easy thanks to the pre-installed car seats, which you would have to thank Jake and Javy for. You had given Madelaine your phone when she had asked to pick the songs and unsurprisingly the five-year-old had put on one of your Spotify playlists that she continually requested during art time in class. Both you and Gray were happily surprised at her choice of 80’s hits.

The pair of them had sung the whole way home, putting on quite the show from what you could see in the review mirror. Their little voices filled that small car, flipping between words they knew, to just humming along to the tune.

You pull up to the house, the vacant parking space and dark house confirm that Jake was indeed going to be late tonight. Both of the kids are out of the car before you can even try to unbuckle them. Their eyes sparkle are they look at the white bungalow, bouncing on their toes at the sight of a front lawn and you can hear Gray whisper to Laine, asking if they were actually allowed to play on it.

The question hurts, such a simple request that had no doubt been denied before. Though before you can fall further down the rabbit hole, you grab the twin totes from the passenger seat. You were going to enjoy this weekend, make it the best experience for them both, and not think about everything else.

“Come on my darlings,” You glance at your watch and find that it's almost five. “We’ve got to cook dinner and get your beds situated for tonight, we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Both of them give you a massive smile and Gray is quick to latch onto your hand, while Laine walks up the red stone walkway. You knew that Gray got anxious when it came to new ideas and had expected him to be attached to you for most of the night.

Laine, on the other hand, would know the house like the back of her hand by the end of the weekend and most likely have Jake wrapped around her finger. More so than he already is.

To your complete surprise, upon entry into the guest bedroom, you found the white daybed completely set up with the bedding set you had picked up the other day. You and Jake had decided that for this weekend the twins could stay in one room together, you didn’t want to separate them and cause any unneeded stress. While you had thought you would be setting up the room tonight, Jake and Javy must have come by and done it after finding out that the twins would be staying tonight.

“Alright you two, what do you think?” You hadn’t realized just how worried you were about the twins liking what you had picked out for them. You had found a set of light and dark blue bed sheets that you thought would be appropriate. Then found each of them their own special blanket, Gray’s consisted of planes and the Navy emblem, while Lainie’s had turtles and other tropical fish.

You watch the both of them carefully as they walk into the room, taking in the plain white walls and the small book nook where you enjoyed reading. They move slowly through the room, fingers running over the dresser and then stopping at the bed. The totes fall from their hands, and they slowly pick up the blankets, examining the cotton as if they had never had a blanket to call their own.

You don’t move and the breath in your chest catches at the reality that is unfolding before you. How long had they gone unloved? How many nights did they cry wrapped in each other’s arms, the only form of protection they knew? Your eyes are misty, and you wipe at the awaiting tear before it can fall.

“Ms. CeCe, who are these for?” Laine asks with only the tiniest echo behind the words.

“They’re yours,” Your voice catches and causes both the twins to turn around. “I picked them out for you. Do you like them?”

A small hum comes from the pair as they clutch onto the blankets and watch you carefully. You give them a weak smile, though before you can let your emotions overwhelm all three of you the sound of the front door opening, and closing has you looking back out into the hall.

“Darlin’?”

The voice has Laine letting out a small squeal before she races past you, blanket in tow, and makes for the front door.

“Mr. Jake!”

Gray settles at your side, holding onto your hand as the both of you make your way out to the front hall. The sight of Madelaine clutching onto Jake as he holds her stops you in your track, and for a moment you forget that they aren’t yours and Jake’s children. How had they looked so much like Jake, with the perfect dirty blonde hair and the small award-winning smile.

Jake glances up at you and gives both you and Gray a smile before he runs a hand down the back of Laine’s hair. A quiet hello, little darlin’ just barely reaches your ears, though as Laine tightens her hold on Jake, you know you heard right.

“We saw you flying today, Mr. Jake.”

The small voice gains the attention of all three of you, and as you look down Gray only smiles back at you in hopes that you’ll confirm what he’s said. Though before you can say anything, Jake adjusts Laine onto his hip, and he walks to bend down in front of Grayson.

“Is that right, buddy?” A smile forms on Gray’s lip before he gives Jake a firm nod. “And how was I doing? Did I meet your standards?”

Gray nods once again, before Laine looks at him in question then turns back to Jake. “Gray says you’re the best.”

“That so?”

Gray’s hand tightens around yours before a hum and smile break across his face. “The best fighter pilot ever seen.”

You hear Jake’s breath catch before his free arm reaches out to grab Gray. A laugh breaks from Gray and any worry you had of him being uncomfortable around Jake, falls to silent ears. With one on each hip, Jake rises and looks at you, the both of you share knowing looks while the twins laugh.

Life had never felt this perfect. You and Jake had always felt whole like you weren’t missing a part of the puzzle, though an add-on would have been welcomed. But now, you both knew that the four of you were the complete puzzle. That without both Gray and Laine in your lives, a part of your puzzle would be incomplete for the first time.

[weepingangelsblog]

I have known Mark since we were kids at school. We weren't particularly friends as such in the early days but we knew each other well enough to say hi to. I have enjoyed being choked from as far back as I can remember and it turned out that Mark enjoyed choking people, although neither of us had realised the interest that the other had. Until one particular day at school, we were both about 16 at the time and had been put in after school detention. I had a slender neck at the time and my adams apple was quite prominent. As we were waiting outside the room for the detention teacher to arrive Mark decided to put his hands around my neck and with his thumbs pressing into my throat began to choke me. He choked me so hard that I could hardly breathe. After about 20 seconds of him choking me, the teacher arrived so he had to release his grip. I spent the whole of the detention period thinking about how much I had enjoyed the experience and the breathlessness that I had felt at his hands. After the detention period had ended, Mark and I walked home together. I asked him why he had choked me while we were waiting for detention. He told me that he enjoyed choking people and that he thought that I had a nice neck and he had actually wanted to choke me for quite some time. And he saw an opportunity and took it. I told him that I enjoy being choked and strangled and I asked him if he would like to choke me again. He said that he would like to. I invited him to come to my house as my parents would not be in as they were still at work. When we got to my house, we went up to my room and I removed my school tie and unfastened the top button of my shirt so that my throat was a little more exposed for him. Mark put his hands around my throat yet again and choked me as hard as he could. I was desperately gasping for air but he had closed up my windpipe so that I couldn't breathe at all, but I was enjoying the experience so much. And just at the point that I thought I might pass out, he would release his grip and let me breathe again. After I had recovered a little he would put his hands back around my neck and do the same thing all over again and again and again. After a while Mark wanted to try something a bit different, so he took my tie and wrapping it around my neck placing the tie above my adams apple, began to pull it tightly. Every time I tried to swallow he would pull it just that bit tighter until my adams apple couldn't beat the tie anymore. Soon it was time for Mark to leave and go home. Especially as my parents would be home soon anyway. But I told him that I had enjoyed every minute of the experience and he said that he had enjoyed it too. And from then on we became good friends. We would meet up regularly and he would choke or strangle me as much as I wanted. Sometimes he would let me choke him as well. And even now years later we still meet up quite regularly and he will choke me and I will sometimes choke him too. Choke buddies, totally consensual and good friends for life.

[ughgoaway]

How do you think the parent-teacher conference would go?

okay yes I have been thinking about this since i originally thought of this au

(Also, quick psa- these are never proofread, so if they are incoherent/ littered with spelling errors...shhh)

I can see matty getting the email through about parents evening and just PRAYING it's with you. Annie has two teachers (bc fuck having a class of 30 kids on your own are you mad) and he thought it might be with the other one. who is fine, she's an older woman and is very lovely... she's just not you

little does he know behind the scenes you had to kind of fudge things to get him for parents evening, your deputy head teacher comes up one day and tells you the plan for parents evening this year, he explains youre only getting half the class. so rather than doing it with your co-teacher, you'd do half and she'd do half. of course, you immediately ask, "Oh... okay, can I see my list?"

you read it and feel your heart drop, Annie wasn't on there. and you swear it's not just because you want an excuse to sit across from matty for 20 mins... you also genuinely love Annie and would love to talk about her and her progress.

you catch the other teacher in the staff room and have a quick chat, "Mrs Richards, do you think we could go over the parent's evening lists? I was just wondering if there's any students that you don't have that you might like?"

"Oh yes dear, let's have a look," she says, grabbing your list, "Ah yes, if it's okay with you, I'd quite like to see Jason's mum and dad. After the paper aeroplane incident last week, I think I need to have a proper discussion with them"

you scream internally, thankful you won't have to have that conversation, and that you might be able to snag Annie, "Oh yes, that's fine with me! why don't we swap for say... Annie Healy?" You say trying to play it off and act like you didn't already have a child in mind when you started this conversation.

luckily, Mrs Richards is completely oblivious to your crush (that you insist is not a crush) and says, "Of course dear, consider it done. I'll send all the emails tonight"

////

cut to actual parents evening and you are wearing your favourite dress. well, favourite appropriate dress. it's nothing much, floral and flowy, but it just works, and you love it.

and you totally did not try on every combination of dresses and shoes that you own to find the perfect one. at 3am.

you definitely did not do that because that would be insane...

anyway, you just finished your appointment with Lucy's parents, and it all went well. You did have to have a discussion about her habit of punching her male peers in... certain places, but it went down surprisingly well.

you completely forget who your next appointment is until you stick your head out of the door and see matty standing with a cig in the corner. for a good few seconds, you just stand and stare, enamoured by the glow of the cigarette lighting up his features. and the way his cheeks hollow as he takes a drag.

matty finally spots you and waves, dropping his cig and crushing it before rushing to meet you. you take a deep breath and straighten up, trying not to die from nerves before this meeting.

"matty! hi! come in, come in, " you say, waving him in. Neither of you notice the receptionist raising her eyebrows at you, calling him matty. she makes a mental note to talk (tease) to you about it later.

he comes in and sits down, and for the first 10 mins, it's a completely normal meeting. You discuss how Annie is doing, how she's interacting with her peers, and what progress she is making.

obviously, googly eyes are being thrown both ways, but you are both beautifully oblivious.

but soon somehow, you both get completely off topic.

"you've never seen true romance! oh love, that wounds me, " matty says, holding a hand to his chest in faux hurt.

you giggle lightly at his reaction, brushing over the pet name so you don't have a mental breakdown over it in front of him.

"I know! I know! it's been on my list for years but I've never got around to it, is it one of your favourites?"

matty then of course goes on a 5 minute rant about how amazing the film is and what it means to him, "I mean I wrote one of our most popular songs about it, as soon as I wrote it at 18 I knew it would be such an important song. to me. to the band. even to our non-existent fans at the time. well, our one fan, my dad"

you smile at him just in awe of his passion for that band, "Oh yeah, robbers, right?" You say shyly, trying not to show the intensity of the stalking you did.

matty just stops and looks at you, his face a mix of cockiness and pure adoration, "Yeah yeah, you been listening to my band?" he teases and pokes at your arm. Soon, his hand slips down and lightly rests on yours as you speak.

you just nod dumbly because how can you focus on what he just said whilst he's practically holding your hand?? thankfully, you catch yourself reasonably quickly and realise just nodding is not the appropriate reaction to what he just said.

you don't know what comes over you, maybe it's his hand on yours, the soft look in his eyes or the gentle smile on his face but you decide to just be honest.

"Honestly?" You say, and matty nods softly, eyes flittering around your face (perhaps even down to your lips) , "I didn't know who you were before, but now? I am a little bit obsessed. I listened to you on the drive-in this morning, " you say whilst avoiding eye contact.

"No way," he says, laughing to himself. He squeezes your hand to encourage your eyes up, and you give in and make eye contact, "what's your favourite song? you've got to tell me that"

"well i-" Of course, before you can finish, there's a harsh knock on the door. you both jump and separate hastily as you spring up and get it.

before you can say anything, the person behind the door starts talking, "Hi, we're Jackson's parents, are you miss y/n? I thought our appointment was at 6. it's 10 past, and I'm kind of in a rush"

you start stuttering out apologies, and matty is already behind you preparing to leave. He quickly grabs your hand and squeezes it as he brushes past.

you squeeze his to grab his attention, "paris. my favourite song is paris", you let go and usher the other parents in. they squeeze past a frozen matty, just standing and gazing at you.

soon you are closing the door to mattys shocked face, giving him one last grin before clicking it shut.

(paris is not my fav song, but it's matty's, so we gotta have a bit of romance)

blurb masterlist here!!

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! /Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! /

 Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! /

Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here ! / Part 17 Here! / 

Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here! / Part 20 here! / Part 21 Here! / Part 22 Here! / 

Part 23 Here! / Part 24 Here! / Part 25 Here! / Part 26 Here! / Part 27 Here! / 

Part 28 Here!  / Part 29 Here! / Part 30 Here ! <This is Part 31!>

A/N: This one isn’t as good as normal but it’s the best I could do

* This is bad

* “Woah, how’d you do that Tyson?” Percy has stars in his eyes as he inspects Tyson’s unscarred hands after he caught flaming dodgeballs like it was nothing.

* Neither you nor Percy have a weapon, the only person here capable of taking on these flaming monsters is Tyson—but he’s like seven years old in Cyclops years so that’s not a good idea.

* ‘But I’ve been through worse.’ You remind yourself with a deep breath.

* These are monsters, not gods. You can always rely on your despair.

* You turn to Perfcy and Tyson, an apology on your lips when there’s a guttural groan on the other side of the gym.

* Invisible gashes form on the monsters one by one as they combust into flames, black scratch marks where they once stood.

* Annabeth materializes when her baseball is knocked of her head by a particularly violent gust of flames.

* But not before she strikes the last one down, shrieking in pain when a flame flickers against her arm.

* ‘Huh, I guess that works too.’

* “Annabeth!” Percy shouts. You both run over to her, your hands held over singed flesh.

* Her bottom lip trembles between her teeth until blue light emits from your hands.

* The wound drys into a scab, then tender pink flesh, before disappearing completely.

* “I’ll never get over this.” Annabeth whispers, fingers trailing the unblemished skin.

* “What do you think you’re doing!?” A voice booms from behind you, and when you turn to look sure enough — the former Olympic medalist for archery, now just a high-paid school gym teacher — is glowering at you.

* Percy immediately tenses with a sad look in his eyes. “It was nice staying here while it lasted,”

* The coach makes his way to you in heavy steps, Percy rises, his mouth trembling.

* “It was all—”

* He walks right past you three and to the red lever in the wall.

* “I know you kids care about each other, but in these cases, if there’s an electrical fire you really need to ring the fire alarm.”

* “An electrical fire?’ Percy mumbles to himself.

* “Come on kids! Let’s head out from the backway just like we practiced in the drills!”

* Percy, Annabeth, Tyson and you file into line with the other students.

* “He didn’t get mad,” Tyson whispers.

* Your first reaction is to tell him of course he wouldn’t get mad, it’s not like any of you asked for a fire.

* But when you see the look on Percy and Annabeth’s face, you swallow your words.

* You’ve always gone to St. Catherine’s, and with your divine father's consistent presence, you wouldn’t be surprised if the mist worked favorably here because the faculty had a good impression of you—and by extension your friends.

* But the same can’t be said for your friends.

* ‘They’re just children, they shouldn’t have to be so cunning that they can manipulate what a person thinks they saw.’

* Your lips tucks between your teeth and you swallow hard.

* “Of course, he didn’t.” you’re just a child. “You deserve to be trusted.”

* If they heard you they don’t make any indication as your group is jostled outside, cellphones held to ears as children call their parents.

* ‘Maybe I should call Dad and let him know. I should let them borrow my phone too, hopefully they know their parents number—‘

* “Annabeth, what are you doing here?”

* “I-I came here to get Percy, they’re asking for him at camp.” Then looking a bit bashful, she adds: “I didn’t know you guys went to the same school.”

* “I never mentioned it?” Percy says with a rather ingenuine shrug. Annabeth pouts.

* “Looks like it’s your lucky day, this is a three-for-one.”

* “Where did you find him?” She gestures to Tyson.

* “He’s my friend.” Percy answers, slightly miffed at her tone.

* Annabeth hails a taxi like you’ve never seen before, dark green in color with smoke creeping out of the windows.

* “Yeah, no offense but I’d rather cut of my left nut then get in that thing.” (this is said in a gender neutral way I promise—if you identify M it’s serious, if F or non-binary it’s being dramatic)

* You wave your hand and a portal opens before you.

* You’ve practiced enough with your father this year to manage making it to one location, it still takes a lot of focus.

* You watch one of the drivers amber at Tyson.

* “Do you want to come with me Tyson?”

* He hesitates for a moment before shaking his head with a sweet smile.

* “I’m going to go with Percy.”

* You return his smile with your own.

* ‘Brothers should stick together after all.’

* “See you guys at camp!”

* You keep the image of rolling hills and the scent of strawberries in your mind, walking into the inky black abyss until sunlight floods your view

* And just like that you’re here.

* “Squad five attack from the right!”

* “Watch out for the flames!”

* “Get it together!!”

* A mechanical Bull rampages through campers like they’re players in grand theft auto.

* And just like that it’s like you never left.

* From the mass you spot a golden mmmmm familiar bright yellow head of hair.

* “Clarisse!”

* Her attention is diverted from her opponent for a moment, just long enough for the bill to latch onto her as it’s next target.

* “Get out of the way!”

* The two of you tumble out of the way and down a hill.

* She seems more shocked than usual to see you.

* “You need to get out of here.”

* “Yeah, we all need to get out of here. How’d a monster even get inside—”

* “No,” she grabs onto your arm. “You specifically need to leave right now.”

* ‘That’s kind of a rude thing to say to someone who saved your life.’

* You hear a loud crash and look up to see Tyson going head to head with the mechanical Bull.

* “Come on.” She tugs you by the arm around the squirmish past a shrieking bull, a screaming Annabeth and an adrenaline filled Percy.

* “Clarisse, our friends are that way!”

* She pays you no mind almost making it all the way to Thalia’s tree when the world goes still.

* “Shit.” She whispers.

* You turn with your eyebrows threaded together, seeing a group of startled campers staring back, where the Bull once stood is a man—at least six feet tall with a head of perfectly gold curls.

* He looks at you with a wolfish grin, his bright red blush flanked over his nose and spilling onto his cheeks.

* “(Y/N)! I was wondering when you’d show up!” Ares shouts with an excited wave.

* “Shit.”

Tag list :

@holybatflapexpert @atomicsophia @fadingunknowncoffee @hopeworldsupremacy @padsfirewhisky @magical-dreamland @kookiedesi @kiritokunuwu @bleepmorp @flickeringlizard @luckyzipperscissorsbat @jessiegerl @undecided-as-always @officiallydarkgeek

@marsbars09 @yizhoutv @alicesolengg @luxaryllis-primaryacc @time-shardz @cryinghotmess @crow-with-a-hoodie @the-nerdy-fangirl @crackedpumpkin @geekyandgay98

@lazydreamers @agentsofblinks @justsomestuffiguessman  @mxacegrey @angelic-simp @astrial @babypink224221 @weaponb33 @redactedhimbo @heart-charming  @psychomanias-blog @aliinunderland

@karnellius @lunavixia @cerberus-the-cutie @bes2005 @girlcrafter408 @loser-keiji @shadowsmusical @hazeofeleven @evilsailorsenshi

[neotomiccccc]

🐓 Headcanons: Shane's past 🌶️

The following is all just my opinion and personal headcanons on Shane's life before moving to stardew valley :) Marnie remarks in canon that he only moved in a few months before the farmer did, so it seems like a lot went on for him before then!

TWs for: child neglect, alcohol abuse, death, grief, depression, suicidal ideation

LONG POST ..

🐥Childhood🐥

Shane was.. unplanned. His parents had a rather unstable marriage, and no desire for a child. It happened anyway.

Shane's childhood was rocky from day one. Neither parent really wanted to look after him, because neither of them had ever really wanted him. He was often just left to his own devices or to a babysitter.

Both of his parents had an alcohol problem. They would fight over it frequently, and had very unhealthy attitudes toward it.

After their fights, his mother would usually go out drinking, and his father would usually drink and watch TV. Drinking as a way of "coping" was something that Shane was repeatedly exposed to in his youth. He was never really shown any healthy coping mechanisms.

Occasionally, he'd get dropped off at Marnie's when his parents went away for a night or weekend. Shane and Marnie had a good relationship and Marnie grew to regret not being able to have him more often as a child. Shane's parents didn't like to make the trip to Stardew Valley too often, but Marnie wished she could have seen him more.

Other than occasionally taking care of Shane, Marnie and Shane's parents had practically cut ties. Marnie never really got along with her sister and when Marnie realised how terrible a mother she was being, that was the final straw.

At school, Shane didn't have many friends. Since his parents had never bothered to properly socialise him, he had his social anxiety set in very early and found it difficult to interact with other kids at school. Despite not having many friends, he was never really bullied either. Kids sort of instinctively knew not to mess with him.

If his 2nd grade teacher had to describe Shane, they'd have said he was very quiet, reclusive and withdrawn, but was creative with a spectacular imagination.

Throughout his life, Shane brought home consistently average grades. Usually C's and B's, maybe an occasional D here and there.

After school, Shane liked to practice playing gridball. He was always a part of the school gridball team, and his teachers always noted it was the only time anyone saw him come out of his shell.

He would also go home and watch gridball on TV as often as he could. Sometimes his dad would be watching it in the living room with a beer, and Shane would lurk in the corner, intently watching the game too.

Shane's favourite player and hero played for the Zuzu city tunnelers and wore the number 2. He idolised this player and often imagined what it'd be like if this player was his dad instead.

🐔Teenage years🐔

During his teenage years in school, Shane didn't change much. He brought home average grades, stayed quiet and reclusive, and kept out of people's way.

During this time, his egg cracked and he socially transitioned, alleviating a lot of the dysphoria he'd been experiencing. He also came out to his parents, who were almost completely apathetic to it. Shane figured this was a win, it was better if they didn't care.

He continued playing gridball and would go for long runs when he wasn't playing. He gained a good amount of stamina and gained a good amount of muscle mass during this time.

He didn't really speak to or see Marnie during this time. She sent him birthday cards but that was about the limit of their communication.

During this time, he became very close friends with two of his classmates. The trio all loved sports and could be seen training together pretty often.

🐔 16-20 🐔

At this age, Shane became almost totally independent from his parents. He stopped speaking to them completely, and rarely even saw them. He wasn't home much and neither were they.

At high school, he maintained his strong friendship with the two classmates. His two friends became a couple, but Shane was never treated as a third wheel. He was still their best friend and the three did many things together.

Occasionally, Shane would sneak out with them and go for drinks. Despite being young, he would sometimes stay out all night and go to parties.

Shane was formally a member of his high school's gridball team. He was a well loved player and talented at that. His entire team loved him.

Shane fondly looks back on this period as one of the best times in his entire life. He wishes things afterwards could have been different.

🐓Twenties🐓

Straight after high school ended, Shane moved out. More accurately, his parents kicked him out, claiming that he could afford to look after himself.

Because of this, Shane crashed with his two friends for a while. This lasted until he found a job and had enough money to rent a small place.

When Shane was still in his early twenties, one of the two friends became pregnant, and nine months later gave birth to baby Jas. The couple formally made Shane her godfather.

As Jas grew, Shane slowly became involved in her life. Starting in his mid twenties, his friends would sometimes have her stay at Shane's house while they went out. Jas loved Shane a lot, and he would teach her how to play gridball, or let her stay up late to watch movies. He was kind of her cool uncle.

It was on one of these nights that a serious accident took place. Jas' parents were both killed in a freak accident, and Shane's life was changed forever.

It turned out that Shane was the only person who had been named to take custody of Jas should anything happen. He took her in, of course, but he'd never be the same again.

Shane was in a perpetual state of shock. He didn't know how to handle himself. His only close friends were dead, he had to grieve somehow, and now he had to take care of a child that he loved but wasn't prepared for.

The next few years were extremely rough, and one of the worst periods of Shane's life. He started drinking heavily to cope with the loss, having never been shown any other ways of dealing with sadness. He was always kind to Jas, but he had to put in more and more hours at work to sustain the both of them. He'd needed a bigger apartment so that Jas could have extra space, but he couldn't afford the rent and was quickly going bankrupt due to low wages and his brain steadily becoming addicted to alcohol.

Shane had a major breakdown when he realised what was happening to him. He waited until Jas had gone to bed, and broke down sobbing in his apartment for the loss of his friends, the loss of control, the loss of his health, financial stability, and the loss of his entire life.

Shane had become very very depressed - the illness had come on rapidly, and he couldn't bring himself to do basic necessities like brushing his teeth or getting up on time for work anymore. He dreaded becoming like his own parents, but all he saw in the mirror was his mother and father staring right back at him.

At some point, Shane began to consider suicide. It was a nagging thought in the back of his mind, a quick escape. He had no plan at this point, but it was always on his mind.

He hit a breaking point one freezing winter night when he could no longer pay his rent and realised he was going to be evicted, and called the only person that he thought might be able to help him. His aunt Marnie.

Marnie was shocked to hear the deep, gruff voice on the other end of the phone - she hadn't seen her Nephew since he was little, so it was an even bigger surprise when he was standing at her door, with a couple of suitcases, dark, sunken in eyes, straggly hair and a face that could only be described as entirely miserable.

Of course, Marnie welcomed Shane and Jas best she could, and let her nephew know that the new superstore to the right of the village was hiring. Shane quickly applied and started working at Jojamart.

Shane's life became monotone from there, but at least it was stable. At least Jas was safe, and at least he had a job. His depression went untreated and steadily worsened, but you know that...

Little did he know, Shane's life was about to take a dramatic turn one more time when a new farmer would move into town, just north of aunt Marnie's ranch...!

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ellis Twilight Chapters 16-20 Summaries 🗡

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. This is an extremely pared down SUMMARY of each chapter. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. The summaries will be uploaded in groups.

Chapter 16

Jude and Kate are in the library when she asks Jude why Ellis’ obsesses over someone else’s happiness with total disregard for his own. Jude tells her that it’s 100% to kill you at your happiest moment, and he calls Kate crazy basically for being involved with Ellis. Kate has flashbacks to all the times Ellis might have killed her, the night at the theater, the picnic, the hill top, and she wonders if she had nodded yes, would he have actually killed her? Jude says Ellis has his own conditions for killing and calls him a nut job. She asks Jude how he became that way, and he asks her why she wants to know that? Does she think she can change him? It's not so much that, but because she wants to help Ellis to be happy. Jude says if she wants to meddle then go ahead he doesn’t care if she dies or not.

Still, he asks if it makes her feel better knowing that if Ellis does kill her, he will kill Ellis and sell his corpse? She says it doesn’t make her feel better, but she’s convinced he’d do it. He waves her away as she’s about to walk out the door he tells her a certain pervert who studies curses may have the answers she seeks. Kate visits Roger and asks what he knows about Ellis, he tells her she’ll have to ask him the why, but he can tell her that he grew up in a small rural town up north. His father is a teacher at a church and Ellis had a twin brother. He explains that Ellis' brother was in an accident when he was 10 years old and then died two years later.

Flash back to the scene in town when she asked Ellis if someone he knew was injured and used a wheelchair (this is the scene where Ellis does dark). Roger says the year his brother died, a boy disappeared from the town where the deceased boy lived. Kate remembers Ellis telling her that before he met Jude he was living place to place, so maybe he was the child who disappeared. That’s all the information Roger could collect from newspaper articles, and when he asked Ellis about it himself, Ellis just said that it would make Roger sad and he wouldn't say anymore about it. Roger says that a curse-user is born with the curse dormant inside of them, but it seems to take a certain event to awaken their ability of that curse, and calls this awakening a tragic fork in the road. Kate asks if Ellis past events are his trigger point, but Roger says he’s only saying “maybe”.

Ellis’ parents are still alive, so he and Kate decide to visit them to learn more about it, and Roger tells Kate to bring Jude along. The next day Ellis finds Alfons in the dining room waiting for him with a note saying Roger is borrowing Kate and Jude for a few days, and Jude tells him to keep working. Ellis asks if Kate is staying overnight with them, and Alfons says for her to be with a cold blooded maniac and a brute is scary for one’s chastity….(?).Ellis is upset when Alfons says it has to do with important research and when he sees Ellis upset, he asks if he and Kate had a fight. Ellis said nope and smiles half heartedly.

Meanwhile, William approaches Victor that some of the thugs rounded up by Jude and Ellis were released on bond by someone on the Privy Council who is trying to disband Crown, and they may end up retaliating against Ellis and Jude..... The trio reaches the town Ellis grew up in and Roger is shocked Jude actually went along, asking if it’s because of Kate’s influence or if he’s curious about Ellis past? It’s neither, as she promised to work for him three days and nights once they get back to the castle.

Roger tells Kate she can’t just enter into a contract with this guy causing Jude to get angry and bring up the fact that he remembers the time when Roger gave him drugs that made him vomit. Roger tells him that was years ago and calls him a vindictive bastard. Kate thinks to herself that both of them are alike and Jude says that she looks like she’s thinking rude things. They ask what she’s thinking and she dodged the question by saying oh there’s the church. Jude waits outside and Kate and Roger meet Ellis father.

Chapter 17

At the church Roger and Kate interview Ellis’ father, Matthew Twilight. Before answering their questions, he asks why they want to know more about his sons. Roger tells him because they know Ellis and want to help him with his disease. Matthew asks what kind of disease Roger means, and Roger says that he also has the same disease. It’s one that makes them predisposed to intentionally sin. Kate is shocked (so was I), that Roger is mentioning this much to Matthew, can he even mention that?

She realizes that Roger will go against Crown, and the Queen if it means furthering his research. Matthew tells him that one day Ellis took his brother out for a stroll in the wheelchair that Ellis had painstakingly made for his invalid brother, and then stabbed him with a fruit knife. When they returned Matthew saw that Ellis’ brother’s arm’s were folded across his chest as if he were lying in a coffin, so Matthew asked Ellis if he killed his brother and Ellis laughed and said yes. His dad thought the devil was inside of him because what child could kill their own brother and laugh about it?

Soon after Ellis disappeared and he regrets his actions to this day because he never bothered to ask Ellis why, all he was worried about was dragging him to the church for confession. He’s never told anyone this story not even the police, and he is relieved to know Ellis is alive in London. Kate is happy that at least they were able to bring him some comfort by their coming to visit him. Telling them all that he knows, Kate thanks him and then they leave.

They meet up with Jude outside and Roger asks if he’s really not curious about Ellis past? Jude says he could careless about Ellis’ past or his curse as there is nothing he can do about his crazy head. Jude asks if they got the information they needed, and Kate says not quite and Jude is perturbed that they basically wasted time on the trip, so they head back to the Castle. When they arrive they are greeted by Liam and Harrison who ask questions about Kate’s willingness to go with those two, with Roger denying that he touched her. Kate looks around but doesn’t see Ellis, and Liam says he’s been working from early in the morning until well past midnight each night without eating proper meals.

Chapter 18

After Kate finds out that Ellis hasn't been eating since she left she becomes worried. Roger says that it’s just as well and suggests she takes him something to eat, she catches Jude looking at her in silence as if say: You went all that way for nothing. Kate takes a tea trolley with Ellis’ favorite foods to his room and she worries if he’ll even want to see or not though it’s been a few days. She knocks on his door and she calls for him and she asks if she can come inside. He hesitates for a moment but agrees to let her inside the room. Kate notices how thin his hands look and asks if he’s gotten thinner? He says maybe so since he had missed her. He asks her how the work assignment went and she tells him the truth about going to meet his father. She asks him if he killed his brother and he smiles and says yes. He tells her what happened:

When he and his brother were 10 they were both very active children who played together all day long. Ellis loved spending time with his brother, and wanted to stay with him forever in their town, but his brother wanted to travel the world. It was his dream. Ellis said he wanted to go with him wherever his brother went. One day, an accident happened with a carriage running over his brother. He survived, but could no longer use his legs, and ultimately his dreams of traveling the world dies. Slowly his brother began to lose his mind and no matter what he did neither Ellis or his parents could make him happy.

Ellis just wanted to see his distraught brother smile, but he noticed that his brother would become more emotional when he looked at a family picture of them all together outside. Not wanting this to hurt his brother anymore, Ellis steals the photo (which he still has to this day). When his brother can’t find the photo anywhere, he tells Ellis to give him the photo back, but Ellis lies and says he lost it. His brother said that was his only means of escape, and he starts throwing things at Ellis accusing Ellis of being selfish, greedy and happy that he is confined to their house to for the rest of his life - the house that Ellis would’ve been content staying at for the rest of his life. During his brother’s fit, Ellis realizes that he was the happiest when his brother couldn’t live without him.

Chapter 19

Ellis continues his story about him and his brother: After Ellis heard about wheelchairs, he spent a long time trying to build one for his brother. He made many attempts until he finally succeeded, and then one day he took his brother to the top of the hill they to play on all the time. He pushed his brother all around and they both laughed and played for the first time in a long time. Ellis’ brother said, “I’m so happy right now.”

In the twilight, while it is neither day or night, when everything is complete, Ellis’ brother tells him it’s enough and let’s finish it here. While they were twins, they were different on the inside, and yet still similar. He hands Ellis a fruit knife and Ellis stabs him in the heart. He wanted his brother to be happy and he was able to lock his brother’s happiness up for ever and make it last, but when his dad called him a murderous demon, he left. Ellis seems extremely tormented, when Kate was gone with the others he missed her so much, and yet he can never seem to make her happy, and he doesn’t know what to do about it anymore.

He says that after he joined Crown, he came to understand that his curse of thorns binds him to commit sin. His eyes widen in madness and he asks Kate if she’s happy? As Kate is frozen in fear, he grabs her wrist and then kisses her. She’s so confused because he had rejected her a couple of days ago, but now desperately kisses her twining their tongues together and being so aggressive with their kisses that she can’t breathe.

He pins her to the couch causing her legs to fly up and knock over the jam on the table, not letting her go.

Premium story: He continues to kiss her and asks Kate what she wants him to do, and she says she could never say such things since it’s embarrassing. He smiles and then he begins to pinch and twist her nipples over her clothes, after she reacts he starts moving towards her navel area, but Kate pushes him off. He realizes that he’ll never be able to make her happy, and he is literally about to burst into tears, so he tells her that since can’t make her happy he doesn’t want to see her anymore.

He tries to grab him, but he slips away too quickly. She tells him to wait, but he leaves and Kate chases after him all the way outside the castle, but he is too fast. She regrets not asking him what he wants and kicks herself for forcing him to open up about his and then rejected him. Yes, she is afraid of him, but she loves him. Next thing you know something hits Kate and she loses consciousness.

Chapter 20

William calls for Ellis and Jude, and Jude asks where Ellis has been at since he hasn't seen him. Ellis says that he went to see Victor to ask if he could be removed as Kate's escort. Jude is upset that Ellis got him involved in the first place, and said that he told Ellis to take responsibility for things instead of running because things got messy with Kate. Ellis says they weren’t messy, it’s just that he doesn’t want anything around Kate that’ll make her unhappy.

Jude asks where Kate is at because he went to her room earlier and couldn’t find her, and Ellis is surprised at this. William interrupts them and says he’s called them to tell them that Kate is missing and the guys are like: WHAT? William says they believe some of the thugs left over from their previous case captured her, as someone from the privy council released them on bail. Ellis ask why, and William says that it’s because the privy council believes that Crown is the stain upon Britain, but they need leverage against Crown itself.

The council plans to use the thugs as an excuse to bait Crown into capturing the thugs and have Kate die in the process, thus giving them the excuse to disband Crown because of the risk for civilian deaths. Ellis dashes off faster than a bullet to find her, meanwhile Jude says that William is up to something, since telling Ellis she’s disappeared only after being gone for a few ours is a stretch. William is like: Nah, I don’t know anything about that. He’s so angry that he grabs William by his collar, (I forgot what he said to William, but I believe he was upset that they got an ordinary person caught up in Crown's business.)

Kate wakes up in a tightly confined space with a blind fold on, after feeling around it seems to be a wooden casket. She hears men outside talking about how they’re going to lure the Crown boys into a trap using her as bait and then kill her. Kate tries to find an opening from within the casket but there isn’t one, so she resorts to trying to talk the men into letting her go, but they refuse. After a while, she loses track of time and thinks about how soon she will die. Trying to think about happier things she recall her time with Ellis on the hilltop.

After a while, she hears noises outside and she hears Ellis call for her. Worried that he’s being setup she tells him to run, but he breaks open the casket and tells her that what she’s worried about won’t happen. Kate looks at him and he’s covered in blood. She is so relieved she’s almost in tears and she apologizes to him for not trying to properly understand his feelings, and opens up to him that she was honestly afraid of being killed by him, but that doesn’t matter anymore.

She grabs his bloody hand and now they’re both stained red, and she tells him that he doesn’t need to worry about making her unhappy tomorrow because she knows that everyday they can be happy together. She tells him that while he wants to kill her at her happiest moment to make it last forever, it’s because he truly loves her not malice and on the contrary, he doesn’t really want to kill her.

She says that the night she almost died on the cliff her was relieved she was safe, and when she promised to spend time with the following day, he was clearly happy. She also said that she knows that he's going to kill her one day and that's fine. He asks if she isn't scared? Kate is scared a little, but she says that she’ll be fine. He tells her he loves her so much and entwines his arms around her like the thorns of his curse.

Ellis: I love you so much that I want to be the only one who makes you happy.

Kate: …Yea.

Ellis: I love you so much that you don’t want to be able to live without me.

Kate: Yea.

Ellis: I love you so much that I want to kill you while you're still happy.

Kate: ………….Yea.

Ellis: Stay with me forever.

Ellis: I’ll never let you go again.

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