#in no world is his dick anything other than average length
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#the vampire chronicles#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#marius de romanus#armand#gabrielle de lioncourt#santino#dont know his last name#mael#does he even have a last name#including mael just cause itd be funny if he beat marius#show fans im fine with if you rig this election for armand just please dont make daniel win#in no world is his dick anything other than average length#maybe below average tbh might be kinda hot for what you guys are working with#oh and if anyone has and grower/shower headcanons please please share#i want to hear exactly how you guys think the vamps stack up against eachother#incase anyones wondering my opinion is probably either santino or thorne#i think louis probably has the most perfect beautiful dick tho#and gabrielle is the best at using it#i feel kinda weird including armand in this cause of his book version but i feel like show fans might get mad at me if i dont#i was also tempted to include quinn even tho no one would vote for him just cause that heights gotta go somewhere
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X-ray: what I think is down there
Take this as my own personal musings, definitely influenced by people who introduced me to the game. Stuff like that just sticks with me and sometimes it just seems more fitting than whatever alternative I could come up with
Nsfw! Unedited!
Don - giant cock. No other way to put it, I think she has the best of both worlds and while I definitely give her decently sized tits when I draw here, there is a penis down there and it is both huge and thick. Is it clean or taken care of? About as much as her shoe-covered feet are
Heathcliff - a pretty big penis, has some girth and a little of a curve to it with noticeable veins. Not the biggest on the bus but it’s surely up there
Meursault - a penis with well trimmed hair. It’s a bit above the average in length but very thick. Clean, good dick, probably a good time to have it in you
Ishmael - hairy pussy. She doesn’t waste time to trim so there is a decent amount of hair along with a happy trail. It’s well, sort of clean. She doesn’t do anything fancy, probably knows better than to use hand soap but she doesn’t care enough to do anything beyond the bare minimum
Hong lu - I think it would be a penis but I’m willing to hear you out if you think otherwise. I think it’s well taken care of, very long with not a lot of girth to it. Not much in terms of visible veins I imagine
Faust - a vagina covered in white, fluffy hair. She keeps it very clean but doesn’t shave or trim, she sees that as a hassle and the hair doesn’t bother her or anything, if you have a problem with it she figures it’s none of her business
Rodya - immaculately smooth and well maintained pussy. On one hand she doesn’t like to follow fads that are set up by society to make you spend more money, but she also likes to feel like that’s a bonus to what she already has to offer. A bit hypocritical, but that’s a bit of her thing. Like, she likes that she is the most conventionally well taken care of in that area even if she is aware that the mainstream preference doesn’t hold much relevance in the grand scheme of things
Ryoshu - also a vagina. She keeps the hair short for comfort only, but doesn’t like to shave it completely, I think
Outis - again, vagina and yet again hair that is only a little trimmed, not as neatly as Ryoshu’s though. She just does it when she feels like it, it takes up a bit of time and she cares more about resting before another work day. It’s not that well washed either, she just can’t be bothered
Dante - I think they have a vagina. It’s hairless but more so because I generally think their body is pretty hairless to begin with. They try to keep it clean but also I’m not sure if they remember all the proper ways to do so. Probably used hand soap and calls it a day
Yi Sang - honestly this one could go either way. If it’s a penis then it’s average in length, no bigger veins, with not much girth or hair. It it’s a pussy then it’s a nicely washed one, shaved (‘just in case’)
Gregor - PUSSY. VAGINA. I firmly believe in trans Greg and that’s a hill I will die on. I don’t think it’s very clean on trimmed at all. It’s probably pretty hairy too. Most days he doesn’t feel like going out of his way to wash it and just ‘lets the water do its thing’. Would
Sinclair - hhhh I’m sorry but. Personally I imagine a penis and I don’t think it’s very big (both in terms of girth and length). It’s noticeably short and has some light hair around it. He’s the type of person to apologise when undressing in front of you, give that man some confidence please. I also fw some trans Emil art so I’m not saying you guys are ‘wrong’ or anything, I can definitely see that. I just personally think it’s a penis
#limbus company headcanons#limbus x reader#limbus company x reader#limbus headcanons#limbus gregor#limbus ryoshu#limbus sinclair#limbus hong lu#limbus don quixote#limbus heathcliff#limbus meursault#limbus ishmael#limbus dante#limbus outis#limbus yi sang#limbus rodya#limbus faust
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what do you personally think are the (sexually speaking) favorite things the queens have about their toms?
Thanks for the ask anon. Some appreciation always goes a long way between two people, so it is a good question. I am going to try to limit them to biggest faves, but no guarantees on that.
For Vic, she loves how unwaveringly devoted her mans is to her beyond anything. I honestly do not know how to put it into words in a way that would properly qualify it. I so much want to know what that is like anon. To belong to someone and have every moment together give me happiness. To look at someone and know they are the light of my life. It is true love and dedication in a way that completely transcends everything. The passion and love they both share elevates anything sexual way beyond simple pleasure. Intimacy stemming from that basis is absolutely life affirming.
To actually answer your question in a more objective sense, Vic does love how big her man is, and that is in more than one way. He is more than strong enough to lift her up and treat her any way or to anything he wants, but the gentleness in his touches betrays how rough he could be. His size make her feel protected and loved. Otherwise, his size also electrifies her in a way nothing else can sexually. Plato has a long dick, and is very modest about it. Larger in length or at the further end of average, but with a normal girth. When flaccid, it honestly is still something to behold. He is a shower more than grower, and when erect it easily rivals any other tom in the junkyard.
He is smart enough that he knows how to use it, but is so gentle and caring for his partners Vic when fucking her that he never abuses it. He has restraint to only give as much as she can handle, especially when they start, easing into her and getting her comfortable (and wet) before diving deeper or increasing his pace. He does lose a bit of focus on being gentle from time to time, and loses himself in her pussy, sometimes fucking her with everything he has to give to try to make her feel like she is the most important queen around. Nothing feels as good to either of them as one another locked in like that, and Vic has never found an orgasm that hits harder than getting railed by her mans.
With Rumple, she is always happy to see just how excited Mungo is to be with her. He is literally at the call and command of whatever she would ask of him, and it is reasonably at no question. If she wants it from him, all she has to do is ask, and he will trip over himself to give it to her. That profound eagerness to please her is wrapped in both of their kinks / preferences to priase or worship someone and have that reciprocated. The need is certainly stronger for the tom, and he gives whatever energy and attention he can to ensure his little love feels it.
Mungo puts a bit more urgency (sometimes, he is hedonistic too and will get lost in slowly fucking her pussy because of how good it feels) with his efforts, especially when he is eating her out. Knowing that he is making her feel so good and further emboldened by the sounds she makes, it makes him even more enthusiastic. His mouth is not for all talk either, and skill with his adept tongue is probably Rumple’s fave thing from him. The tom knows what he is doing.
Tanto does not have a tom, but she quite enjoys when she is given praise and attention by any of her partners. Them realizing her beauty and then explicitly telling her about it makes her feel so good. After a point, the attention and praise gets her horny, and she surprisingly makes the first move.
Cass likes Alonzo's more overt dominant bravado coupled with his hidden (to the rest of the junkyard) submissive side. He is a switch, so she gets the best of both worlds from her strong tom. Not differing much herself in a way, she likes that he can match her energies when the time is appropriate. Though, her submissive side is not actually submissive so much as it is passive to someone taking more control.
When he wants, Alonzo will flex his muscles and show her a good time. Specifically, he is not afraid to degrade the brown queen when fucking her. It is fully from a position where he remarks how a figurative goddess gets to be sullied by a mere street cat. She is into it. On the flip side of that, she loves for him to bow before her in reverence, kneeling at the feet of a queen that is more royal diety than cat. Tying in to the switch preference for both of them, he can either sub for her in that situation and let her direct everything or he can essentially worship her body and do all the work while she lays back. The power balance between them is something that is fluid, but Cass always has the upper paw.
Deme simply loves her man deeply to begin with, and the love and care he reciprocates literally gives her a reason to live some days. Even during sex, his care for her and importance he places on ensuring she is comfortable with everything makes her feel very special. Not only that, it also lets her open up and be more receptive to the love, lust, and pleasure that she gets from Munk. Being taken care of fulfills her in a way that nothing else can, and when she feels that love during sex, it amplifies the enjoyment. It certainly helps that her man knows what he is doing, and when he gets a bit carried away with his lust, the stimulation she get from his fucking is almost unlike any feeling she has felt before. Munk made her squirt for the first time, and that deserves a round of applause.
Bomba likes a mix of Tugger's prowess in general, and his showy self turns her on to some extent. He is skilled and open about his sexual side, and she appreciates that in several ways. Bomba loves his mane, and gripping it during sex when she needs to anchor herself to something. Otherwise, his attitude and behavior is much of her favourite things about him. When he gets feral and is a bit more aggressive with his moves, she loses it. Him having his way with her goes a long way, and it always gets her going. When he fully commits to it, fucking her hard and good before burying himself into her pussy and filling her up with his cum. She loves that shit.
Jenny likes some of that good good unmistakably round, remarkably fat, impeccable backside that Busto is. She has eyes for his body, and she cannot help but thirst over his dignified character and the proud way her carries himself as well. His celebrity-like status in her eyes turns her on quite a bit. He has fine taste as well, and has equal eyes for her gumbie shape. Plus, when they fuck, she does love him giving her some good ass slaps with his paws and ass-whooping spoon.
Jelly likes that AGus matches her wavelength with her kinks. They both can dabble pretty freely in whatever they want, and there is never resistance between them. If Jelly wants something, she can get it and vice versa. Her enjoyment of nippleplay, degradation, fisiting, and anal fingering are all well received by both parties. Plus, she knows that if her partner wants something, he is not timid to ask.
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yandere ocs - the beau-maude twins
one darling, two powerful yanderes-
what could go wrong?
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twice the yandere tendencies, vampire edition
hope you enjoy anons! thanks for your ideas
unedited for now and kinda rushed lol
minors dni 18+ only
warning: contains yanderes and yandere behaviour, huge and lowkey unfair power dynamics, desperate vampires and a darling that cant escape, mentions of blood
asks/requests are open!
likes and reblogs are very very very much appreciated ♡
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montgomery 'memory' beau-maude - the fixer
age: ??? (looks about 24 tho)
birthday: may 30th
physical attributes:
back length jet black hair that's usually up in a ponytail
red eyes
tall af (6'6)
pale skin (not too pale tho)
has a bit of a dad bod
slightly above average voice (not too deep)
always looks bored or angry
no in-between
has a scar on his right eye that he doesnt like to talk about
wears fake glasses to cover up said scar
personality traits:
is very poised
you can never catch him slacking tbh
is the more mature twin
rarely shows any feeling that isnt anger
doesn't like humans
is no fun
highkey a dick.
is mostly mean because of his royal status mixed with some bad experiences
people dont know a lot about him, even his twin doesn't know some things
is very secretive.
can fix any situation, no matter how hopeless it seems
he's called the fixer for a reason
maximilian 'max' beau-maude - the wildcard
age: ??? (looks 22ish)
birthday: may 30th
physical attributes:
short and messy black hair
red eyes
wears sunglasses because his eyes are a bit sensitive
a bit taller than his brother (6'6.5)
pale skin
muscular but not too muscular
slightly high pitched voice
always smiling
has a scar on his left eye that he’s willing to talk about, but everything he says about it is probably a lie.
personality traits:
is the opposite of his brother
is very playful
loves to joke about
cant be serious for more than 30 minutes
is very impulsive
thinks humans are interesting
lies for fun
no one can really predict him or his next actions
not even his brother
that's why he's the wildcard
seems like he's an open book
but he's actually lies quite a bit
most of his messes are cleaned up by his brother
can be very smart and strategic when he wants to be tho
meeting you:
they've waited for 500 years to ascend the throne
just to discover that their father made a decree that they cannot ascend the throne unless they find their mate
memory is livid, max is slightly amused
max suggests that they meet the palace oracle
the oracle describes their mate as a person with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes as well as extra details
the palace painter was then called to work with the oracle to provide an accurate picture of their bride
within two days, the picture was ready
it was then given to the royal soldiers , in which they were told to bring you to the palace
the search took about 2 weeks
and then after you were brought back looking disorientated and confused
you looked like a hot mess really
but to them?
you looked perfect.
are they aware that they are yanderes? are they bothered by it?
technically, theyre not really aware; because this is how they were raised to believe love towards your mate(s) should be like. so theyre not aware and they dont see anything wrong with it. its just how things work in the vampire world.
yandere tendencies:
theyre both obsessive yanderes
memory is more possesive tho
max pretends to be delusional, but he’s actually not delusional at all.
max is more carefree and but extremely clingy
memory is more strict but gives darling their breathing space
they both kind of view you as property at first-
memory shows it and makes it clear
you belong to them, no arguments, if, what or buts.
max on the other hand is much more cunning
he’ll act like he sees you as an equal
but he’s just pretending
and when push comes to shove-
he’ll throw you under the bus.
so be careful around him mkay-?
max is also the type to try and win you over
whether it is through gifts, sweet words, physical affection, giving you what you want etc
memory, on the contrary, is more harsh at first, but becomes sweeter and gentler over time
this softening can also be sped up if darling behaves well and doesnt struggle much.
when they both ascend the throne, you will also become their ruling spouse
that means prior to their coronation, you will have to learn your royal duties and how to rule.
even before then, your relationship will move extremely quick
you’ll be permanently bonded to them within a week, give or take
to clarify, max is much more dangerous than memory.
he’s extremely cunning and manipulative and will stop at nothing to get what he wants.
he doesnt care what he has to do to get what he wants.
he’ll do it.
memory on the other hand is more calculating and observant.
he notices little details and is extremely good at predicting patterns
so after being with darling for a certain period of time, he can successfully predict their every move.
btw, you cant run away.
youre their mate
they can smell you and can therefore track you.
and theyre royals-
they have the manpower and the resources to burn just to find you-
and theyve been waiting over 500 years to find you darling-
so just be a sweet thing and love them, okay?
fun facts/trivia:
memory:
you will be turned almost as soon as you start living in the palace
this is because memory really doesnt like the smell of humans
memory also doesnt drink human blood
he invented an animal blood supplement that he takes once a week
he likes to read and sleep
he actually likes the taste of human food and is extremely good at cooking
is also very interested in human courtship and how it differs from that of the vampire world
is extremely truthful but will avoid answering the question if he doesnt want to say the truth
has special and specific powers because he's a vampire royal
has a strained relationship with his parents
max:
max has quite a bit of tattoos, but he keeps them hidden
he also gets tattoos when he's in a bad mood/angry
has had many many careers throughout his lifespan
so he’s very informed about humans and human behaviour
and he has a fuck ton of random things that he’s really good at
likes to drink alcohol
he is very impulsive.
and he's very touchy
he likes to bake and make chocolate for fun
has a weird addiction to monster energy tho
his room is always messy
has special and specific powers that differ from his brother's
avoids talking to his father, regularly talks to his mother.
loves to freak out/ scare darling
#obsessive yandere#honey's anons#yandere oc#honey answers asks#male yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere#manipulative yandere#yandere scenarios#yandere royals#yandere princes#yandere twins#yandere vampire#yandere male x reader#yandere male#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#my oc memory#my oc maximilian
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Listen. Could Dead and Loving It be a fraction of the length and maybe finished by now if I only focused on Danny and Jason?
Possibly
Would it be a better story?
Probably, from several perspectives
But it absolutely would not be the same story, and nor would it be the story I want to tell
Because I am hopelessly addicted to ensemble casts, and I don’t want the boys to exist in a vacuum. I want Jason to run off with his siblings and with Danny’s friends, and I want Danny to fuck with the bats
I want them to touch all the parts of each others lives that existed before they met, and will still continue to exist after even if things change forever between them
I want all the background characters to interact with each other, have their own inner worlds and their own motivations, and yeah, this absolutely means this is not an efficient telling of a slow burn romance
Because the story isn’t the slow burn romance
The story is these two people, and the world they live in, the story is the way Duke and Cass both see Jason differently than Dick and Tim ever could and that matters, and that none of them are wrong
The story is Danny finally telling people who will listen about the Anti-Ecto Acts, and all the fucked up things the GIW do, and being able to ask for help and have that be okay
The story is messy and complicated and will have so many rises and falls, so many pivotal moments that are drama and combat and so many that are just two people talking to each other and finally seeing eye to eye
The story is the way that Jason’s relationships with his family can finally mend, now that he has someone who can get him the help he’s needed
The story is the way that Danny can come to terms with the responsibilities of being a king, the constant question of agency and power and what he’s worth if he’s only Danny and not the Ghost King
The story is Clockwork fucking with the pair of them because he specifically thinks it’s funny (he’s right)
And yeah, there’s a slow burn romance in there. There’s also a coming of age tale, and a story about healing and reconciling and moving forward knowing you cannot change the past, but you can do better
Unless fucking Clockwork decides you can change the past because yeah then it’s fine to just go do that I guess
I was kinda considering breaking the story out into multiple chunks because holy fuck is 100k an intimidating chunk of words, but I’m not gonna
It’s all one story, and you will be my hapless victims as we get to fucking 300k or wherever this beast ends because we are not here for efficient story telling and motion of the plot
We’re here for the connections, the characters, the meaningless bullshit that would absolutely be cut in anything anyone ever wanted to sell, cuz I am not selling this
Imma write every fucking scene I wish I got from books, TV, movies, podcasts, actual plays, every fucking time I scream at the characters to just fucking talk to each other because messy is good too
Messy is okay
Stories don’t need to be marketable to be worth telling, and this one’s gonna be too long and intimidating for some people and that’s okay
But I fuckin’ rolled in from Critical Role which averages around 500 hours of content per campaign and a cast of 7 plus Matt’s NPCs
And I STILL want more goddamn character moments from all of them so I haven’t found a size yet that I can’t manage
I love reading focused stories that I can get through fast, and fuck, look at the rest of my AO3; I will fucking never diss a one shot, or a short story, or a piece that really focuses in on one or two characters
Delicious, I love them, my bread and butter
It’s just not what this mess is gonna be, and that’s okay too
Gods be fucking willing we will not have another six chapters that take place over the course of three hours, but we’ll just have to see how that shakes out cuz I’m being possessed by a seemingly infinite number of plot bunnies and my own tendency for “hey it’d be funny if”
And oh boy has it been funny every time
#danny fenton dead and loving it#i swear i can do short stories#i’m just not#also yeah 300k if we’re lucky based on my outlines so far#some of this will go faster but we’ll see#totally was gonna let tim just google amity park with tucker’s advice in mind but then#then my brain went ‘hey how funny would it be if danny just forgot they can’t contact amity’#‘and tim couldn’t find a way around needing the amity park ip’#so now we get a bunch more frustrated bat sibs#and i regret nothing#fucking adding like 5k to the story but it’s 5k of CRIME#and my sweet beloved darling harley#i did actually read all her comics up to 2018#only dc character i go for but i am considering some red hood#mostly to see how upset comic store owners get when i ask for my 6’ of babygirl#no business for them if they got that toxic masculinity i only shop where cat maid hood rules#which fucking cannot be found online i’m heartbroken
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It is time,,,,for Elden Ring junkcanons, ft as many characters as I can think of for the time being. If a character ain't here its bc I either forgot about them or don't care
(nsft descriptions below the cut)
Godfrey: Starting out strong with the dude with the biggest shlong, Godfrey's got both length and girth for days and hairy fuckin' balls that would put any other man to shame. Doesn't even think about how huge he is unless he's fucking his wife, of which it suddenly becomes a major issue despite Marika not giving a fuck. Uncircumcised.
Marika: Thick outer lips, thin inner lips and a heavily pronounced clit, close almost to a tdick in size. She's got zero body hair, and though Godfrey often fussed over hurting her, she's got a pretty much uncanny ability to fit (or push out- birthing Omen twins cant have been fun) anything in her vag with little issue. It's kind of eerie, actually, but then again, everything about her is anyways.
Radagon: Very slender, elegant penis, goes more for length than width. Has a noticible cleft midway down his shaft and over/behind his balls that Rennala was quite fond of tracing with her tongue. No body hair, just like his female half. Kind of unremarkable if his dick wasn't somehow the only penis in the world that could be considered 'elegant'. Not circumcised, but he has no foreskin either.
Rennala: f u z z y. The Carian queen does not shave, so she's endowed with lots of thick black curls that contrast prettily with her milky white skin. Her clit is thin and somewhat tucked away between her lips, which are long and folded over in a way that puts ye old yonic flower metaphor to shame. Has some scars around her vaginal opening from giving birth, which Radagon privately used to think of as quite endearing/attractive.
Godrick: His cock is the most average thing about him, honestly- there's just nothing remarkable about it. It isn't big, it isn't small, his balls certainly are there. The only thing that distinguishes it as his is the pale hair at the base and his vaguely wrinkly foreskin. Suffers from erectile dysfunction to boot, partially because he really just fucks bc its the Expected Man Thing to do and partially because there's usually not enough bloodflow going to his crotch to support a full erection. Genuinely prefers eating people out and using toys over his own penis, because he had pretty much no sexual education whatsoever despite getting a lot of cutting remarks about needing to sire an heir, so his relationship with his own masculinity is...tenuous. Uncircumcised, learned what sex was via trial and error.
Morgott: He's got an absolutely MASSIVE cock, except he sees it entirely as a bad thing after he heard some (extremely jealous) soldiers jeering about how the Fell Omen was hung like a beast during some Gelmir conquests. Most of the time it's sheathed, and completely covered by the thicker fur running down his body, but during rut it often makes an appearance regardless of whether or not he wants it out. He's got a thick, bulbous head with the edges covered in a variety of knobbly bumps, a shaft that thickens in the middle, and a knot that swells up when he's close to coming, with similar knobs on it for Extra Texture. He treats it like an alien entity and generally deals with such ruts by hiding in his room and trying his best to ignore it. Doesn't really know what sex is, but he's got a faint idea of the general concept and knows very well that normal people's bodies Do Not do what his does when he's aroused, which means that he never masturbates and is thus an absolute subby disaster when someone who IS into him gets their hands on him.
Mohg: He's got barbs. Dick barbs, primarily situated around the head and down the underside. He's also very thick, has a lot of scalelike ridges going down the sides of his dick, and it's similarly sheathed like Morgott's, though unlike Morgott, his balls are halfway wedged into his body instead of hanging loose like a mammal's would, and his dick is only a slightly lighter colour than the rest of his scales/feathers (with the exception of the head) because he's not furred all over, like Morgott (who has grey furry balls and a bright pink cock). Has very skewed rut cycles because he stays underground all the time, but he knows that jacking off makes it go away, so he's fine to just sit for a quick wank and go about his day instead of wallowing about in misery, figuring that its just some sort of periodic escape of humors that his body needs to do sometimes. Does NOT know what sex is, but would probably be delighted by the concept if someone explained it to him. Sharing fluids is kind of his thing, after all.
Miquella (THE FUCKED UP ADULT THING CURRENTLY IN THE COCOON NOT THE CHILD NOT THE CHILD NOT THE CHILD.): hes trans and has weird pheromone tentacles like that one Australian moth. That's all I have to say. Frankly Miquella terrifies me, and the fandom's obsession with sticking with his child visage vs the thing in-game means that I have a mental roadblock to thinking about him in any sort of sexual context whatsoever
Malenia: Her cunt is so heavily scarred from the rot that it's honestly kind of a miracle that she can feel anything down there at all. While her rotussy does not, in fact, give you scarlet rot, it is acidic enough that going down on her is somewhat of an,,,experience. Her external clit's gone, so she needs a lot of really hard rubbing on the spot it used to sit for her to feel anything- think deep tissue massaging that pussy. Internal penetration that focuses on targeting the g-spot and that one sweet spot near the cervix also goes a long way. Unfortunately, she has no idea what sex is, and any attempts to show her will likely end up with you getting kicked halfway across the bedroom (either out of shock or bc she thinks its some sort of attack).
Ranni: On her doll body? She's got nothing, at least not until she takes you as her consort. Then she'll likely just either install a fleshlight to tide you over or buy a dildo and strap-on (I hc her as trans so giving herself a penis directly would incite dysphoria she'd never want to admit to). She DOES intend to give herself a nice vagina, it's just that she kind of was too busy with killing god to think about what she wanted her own cunt to look like, and now that she DOES have the time, she wants to sit and pick one out. Give her some time. Knows what sex is and is very smug about it.
Blaidd: What can I say other than big thick knot? He's a wolf guy, having a big dick and a big knot is mandatory. Unfortunately, he also doesn't really know what sex is, because I think its funny. Or, well, he knows the basics of how it works, but only through the pipeline of others talking about it, so his actual perception of how sex is supposed to work is way off the mark.
Radahn: Hung like a horse, hur hur hur. But seriously I have zero thoughts about this guy. He's great but the closest thing I can get to visualizing him with any sort of sex thing is him sneaking away from sex ed lessons so that he could go ride around on Leonard, and then only realizing once he got too fuckin big to fuck that skipping out on the only adequate sex ed tutorial in the entire Lands Between was, in fact, probably an issue. The Golden Order's teachings on sex ain't shit. Circumcised.
Rykard: Used to have a pretty average dick, up until the point that he fused with a giant god-devouring serpent. Now he's got a pair of hemipenes that are each the size of a man, barbed down the entire underside, and has pubic hair (???) thats made of writhing tortured souls. He's got an entire hardcore bdsm dungeon, so he def. knows what sex is. Circumcised prior to the vorefest.
Varre: Pretty average sized dick, unremarkable apart from the fact that it has a kink in the middle that points to his left, making positioning kind of interesting sometimes. That's not too much of a bother to him though, as he enjoys the challenge and likes to be fucked and dommed just as much as he enjoys fucking and domming. Multiple tiny scars on his cock and balls from knicking himself with a knife during masturbation. Unfortunately the only person in the entire Mohgwyn dynasty that knows what sex is, and either uses that knowledge as ransom or gives out horribly inaccurate information for the laughs. Self-circumcised.
Rogier: He's trans, and he went and nabbed himself a penis as soon as he realized that Fia's magic mirror does free sex change surgery. He's got a nicely curved, slender, right-leaning dick that he's quite proud of, and a neatly trimmed bush of pubic hair to accent it. Circumcised.
Fia: Thin-lipped and whispy-haired, with a similarly thin yet prominent clit. Unfortunately, she has an unusually large hymen, so vaginal sex is typically quite painful for her. She and Rogier had a sort of fwb relationship where they fooled around while talking about death
D: Kind of short and slightly thick dick, very sparce body hair. Wishes eternally that he had a chance to bury it in Rogier's ass before they parted ways. Regularity hears Fia and Rogier fucking and absolutely hates it. Surprisingly for a Golden Order boy, he's circumcised.
Master Hewg: His cock is as rough and knobbly as the rest of him, with a lot of ridges and bumps along the shaft. His balls are similarly scaly, and constantly hang low from the heat of the forge. He never fucks anymore, though, as it reminds him of the days before Marika stuck him in the Roundtable Hold, so sex just makes him depressed.
Millicent: Basically Malenia's pussy, but unrotted! She's got plump lips, a moderate amount of red hair, and a short, fat clit yet untouched by rot. Her cunt is similarly acidic, however, so check that you don't have any wounds on your hands or your dick before fucking her, or you'll feel it. Learned about sex while roaming about Caelid, but she's still a virgin due to it being, well...Caelid. Not much worthy of fucking in Caelid
Coryn: Most boring penis in the Lands Between. Not that it matters much to him, because he's too busy thinking about god to entertain matters of the flesh. Picture a genaric white man's cock and you have Coryn's. Uncircumcised, vague idea of what sex is. Luckily though, he doesn't look down on people for having it- the Golden Order, while genocidal as shit and quite reminiscent of crusader-era Christianity, is just really fucking bad at general education
Enysha (or however the fuck you spell his name): This Old Man Cunt Can Kill A Man
Gideon Ofnir: Why would you want to fuck him? He sucks. That being said, he's acceptably well-endowed and knows pretty much all the tricks in the book, so if you really want to know, he's probably not the worst guy to ask. In fact, this dude probably hoards all the sex ed knowledge in the Lands Between. Fuck you, Gideon
Dung Eater: Don't ask.
#elden ring nsft#nsft headcanons#elden ring#morgott#godrick the grafted#mohg#marika#radagon#rennala#varre#blaidd#fuck it im not tagging any more characters
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Valentine, Day 6
Kid NSFW Alphabet
Welcome to day 6 posted twice cause I missed yesterday drink below and enjoy
MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS DNI, EMPTY BLOGS DNI
A = After care (How are they after the spicy time)
As if mother fucker will probably dip right after to work out or work. He's busy ish he'll say he is. He sucks at after care and if he is interested in you he'll hand you a towel and walk away probably will steal a deep deep kiss before leaving. He'll love that you are left breathless.
B = Body Part (Favorite Body Part of theirs and yours)
Okay he sleeps around a lot and if that means he loves to be satisfied and the only way to be satisfied is his dick. Meaning he is proud of his dick the most and literally will claim his dick is the best. For body parts he is a both ass and boobs man he can't choose.
C = Cum (Anything with cum because why not)
A lot extremely like seriously he cums a little too much which you might be concerned. But let us talk about why he loves his dick in this, when he is fucking you and all he will cum so deep in you that it'll start to make a mini puddle under you after he pulls out.
D = Dirty Secret (Something they have to keep with themselves)
Blunt af I think in reality he wouldn't have a dirty secret because he just is super honest with everyone. You could say though face fucking is hot to him but it isn't a secret. So good for him..
F = Favorite Position (Favorite sex position)
Okay this man is an engineer and you know when he gets all riled up while working he'll just want to fuck you on a desk. Preferably you bent over a desk while he pounds you from behind.
E = Experience (Past experience)
A lot plain and simple. I think he would make it less the more he feels a connection with you and all. If you start a relationship he'll stop and you'll be the only one he fucks. Long story short if you're a virgin get ready for the best first time in the world. He literally knows what he is doing to the max.
K = Kink (Things they are into maybe more than one)
He is into everything I think but top kink you tied up. But not fully or anything just you know hands and wrist bound everything else is free like legs or mouth. He just wants you to have zero control where you grab or to move your arms.
Extra: If he sees his dick poking your stomach immediately will cum in you and have other rounds.
X = X-Ray (What is down there)
He is a huge man so with that he goes over any average on planet earth but it means average who knows. He is thick girth is around 4inch diameter and with his length 6 inches and I am being honest that is him soft hard expect 1.5 for length and girth one inch bigger. So good luck fitting that in.
Drink of the day black for smut but also random for the nsfw alphabet. I added a bit of red for Kid enjoy ;)
#kid one piece#one piece eustass kid#eustass x reader#eustass kid#eustasscaptainkid#kid eustass#fanfic#anime imagines#anime scenarios#x reader#anime#oneshot#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece smut
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im seriously considering writing one myself, played completely straight on max difficulty with every single drawback and every single negative thing I could possibly choose without completely sacrificing the narrative or something I couldn't logically write myself out of. IT'S LITERALLY LIKE. In one of the most popular interactive CYOA ive seen, it has specifically built in options to do exactly that. Something to weaken your power to fractions, and have it slowly build up over time, usually it's not chosen because they wanna be big dick swingers right out the gate, but even when it is they don't do anything with it, and just hide like pussies inside of a pocket dimension or some bullshit until they're full strength and can one tap scion.
The problem is always power. It's always too much power, because when you have that much power, it's always like "Well, if he can do that, why doesn't he go save x person?" and it soon spirals into a monotonous checklist. That's why the pacing is always so fucked. I bet they get bored halfway through and just go through the motions, kill coil, kill x, save y, get the girl, bla bla bla.
so many cool ideas and powers all in those CYOA's, it's genuinely a go to if i'm making filler characters in a fic and I can just pick out a few of the lower tier powers and boom! done.
spitballing here, but i was looking through one of them and there's a drawback that literally gives you multiple personalities. That's cool! I wanna see that! Imagine something in the style of disco elysium where all your powers are personified, except their not obligated to help you. Instant conflict and hook. you need to somehow convince your headmates to help you out on the one time, because maybe not all of them are concerned with saving the world and just wanna have some fun or want to hurt people. Maybe they'll bargain. Oh, give me some time in the driver seat and i'll let you use it, and that could spawn conflict as they go partying or hurting people. How would you feel if in a bargain, someone took over your body and used it to cause harm to someone, or someone had sex with someone inside of your body without consent? Or you know what would also be an interesting thing? Jeez, all those handy dandy perks that give you supernatural charisma is starting to feel like mind control, how is that going to weigh on your conscious? for the average CYOA man, he'd feel absolutely nothing in his pitch tar soul and hand wave it because of invictus because god forbid mfs have morals or conflict in a cyoa.
oh god i think i just talked myself into writing a cyoa. oh no. oh no no no. I don't wanna be one oh and i've already thought at length on how i'd do it i think im gonna be sick. 😔
and yes, people sleep on mm and narwhal. it's actually mind boggling to me because there's gotta be at least one guy who's like "i want a crazy tinker gf" and there you go, two candidates are right there. Also also, there's legit two fucking blonde milfs in new wave + laserdream. how. how have i seen more SI/purity than fucking one SI/photon mom. granted, it's not like I hunt for them, I mainly read to laugh at how cringe/bad they are so I could just totally be wrong and actually every other cyoa is running down the list of canon female characters.
And yes, to be fair, a lot of them are horny teens writing them, but still. C'mon. Purity?
what are your thoughts on worm cyoas in general
generally I am not a fan on how they are executed. It’s a character builder not a game to win. I hate ‘solving’ worm or just powering up to beat scion directly <- involves getting too powerful to be fun and ignores a lot of cool parts of the story. However I think some of it could be made into cool stories. I think if you are making a cyoa you should strive to make sure your character is a character first and power list second and also suffer. There’s a lot of funny drawbacks. If you’re going to give v1 powers taking the marble infinite scions should be necessary. That kind of stuff. I don’t find stompfic appealing. Cyoas should also incur equal suffering for the problems they can solve. Tho honestly even if they don’t raw power isn’t a answer to a lot of w the problems stated in worm and an objectively overpowered character can be extremely interesting (<- eidolon apologist) but that requires their main issues to be emotional and political and stuff and that could hypothetically be very interesting. But most cyoa fic are not exactly looking for that sort of thing and are more focused on fights and such. And I don’t want to be mean but a lot of these fics are very cauldron bashy and thus incite a holy wrath in me but it’s extremely boring how it’s played out.
as for if I would ever use one meh. Not super interested in them? I saw a snip once of giving the ‘vate version 1 powers and that interested me because while it solves the very base level of some of their problems I think they would immediately run into a brick wall of new problems and I like their theme of power not being enough in the right situations. But maybe that would eventually erode the interesting parts of their arcs away and I’m not sure if it has the foundations to build cooler or as cool ones. But that’s kind of all I have to say in the end I’m not a big si fan im just a cauldron liker.
ultimately it’s whatever. I am just a hater in my corner.
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Fun fact: demon slayer starts in 1912 and ends in 1927(or at least that's when the Tashio era ends). Using that math Tanjiro (as long as he kept his health good) would very well be alive today at the ripe age of like 78 if my math is correct since he started as 13 in the series. (My math probably wrong asf)
Power imbalance, power bottom reader, knife play, blood but not blood play...

He hated you.
Your very being irked him more than anything he'd ever experienced in all his centuries of living. You were clumsy, boisterous, and played that arrogant music all throughout your home while walking around half naked. Well in Muzan's opinion you were half naked, he couldn't even begin to describe his disbelief at the trend of exposing skin.
It didn't help that you had that insignificant filth running through your veins. At first he was unsure, after all this was a completely different country than Japan, not to mention your darker skin and coiled hair. But no, he could smell and recognise the Kamado blood running through your veins just as strongly as it had run through all your ancestors.
Completely undiluted.
At the very beginning when you first moved in, you came to his home. Knocking aggressively on his front door already getting off to the wrong start. When he opened it, you slipped past him and walked into his living room barely even saying hello as you put poorly decorated sugar cookies on his obsidian coffee table. "This is a nice place you got here Mj."
Muzan's eyes twitched, that joke had long since gotten old since he moved to America.
Now that you were closer he could definitely smell, the century old stench of rivaling bloodlust simmered just below your onyx skin. At any moment he expected you to attack him in some way or form. "Anyways I'm here to say hello neighbor, my name is Y/n and I'm your new best friend!"
Your happy attitude also agitated him to no end. Even though the knowledge of demons had dwindled down to only a few select families, even basic humans were wary of him as their baser instincts made them aware of his dangerous origins. This fact had long since forced Muzan to only prey on the elderly to survive. You had stayed a bit longer babbling about some nonsense that Muzan never acknowledged as he watched you from a good distance.
"You know you really got to add more to your wardrobe than 1963 suits." You walked from the back of his home, an area that he didn't even notice you wandered to. Finally getting bored, you open his door bidding your farewells.
Just before leaving you stop and with a cheeky grin say, "If you ever need anything just come on over. We Kamado's are known for our kindness."
Since then he'd been on edge around you. The point of relocating was for him to keep a low profile but now it seems he'd have to come face to face with an old nemesis reborn.
Muzan snapped out of his thoughts with a flinch as he pierced his hand with his nail. He watches the dark blood well up from the wound and drip down his wrist. In the end this world had long since lost its hostility dwindling the average human incapable of basic combat. Giving you were no doubt a great descendant, Muzan failed to see you as a true threat.
But one can never be too sure
🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢
You heard a knock on your door, soft and hesitant. "I don't think I'm expecting company." You checked your watch and peered out of a nearby window. It was at least 8 at night, you were braless wearing sweats with a red T-Shirt and on your way to bed. In the back of your mind you visualize your two grand-uncles Inosuke and Zenitsu coming over to make you spectate their fights. For two old dudes they still had enough strength in them to do hip breaking nonsense.
You open the door shocked to see your next door neighbor standing before you. For once he wasn't wearing a suit that cost more than your house. His attire was still expensively dressed but in a more casual sense, that being a black dress shirt and slacks. His sleeves were rolled up displaying his pale skin. "Can I come in?" A dazzling smile you had never seen before practically blinds you as he walks past you into your home.
When Muzan walks in his eyes immediately dart to the clear as day Nichirin Blade sword displayed recklessly on your living room wall above your couch. "You like it?" A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, "Got it from my grandpa, he says it's really special but I feel like he's exaggerating. You know how old people are." Muzan shakes out of his stupor. "I don't quite understand what you mean by that, however I do know that it's much more wise to listen to your elders than ignoring…..It could save your life."
Muzan replicates you and puts a hand on your shoulder gently squeezing. This was it, he'd go in for the kill and it would be over, the amount of blood he'd pump into you would be enough to watch you meet a satisfying end of combustion completely untraceable if the police were to get involved. How he wishes he'd be there when your poor grandfather walks along your remains splattered on every surface in your living room. Unable to do a thing as he's finally in his last stretch of life.
The beauty.
Muzan's finger only twitches in the slightest before pain sparks from his own neck. "The thought of you coming into my own home unprovoked and at night no less, was the most obvious sign one could ask more." You had his hand gripped so tight your veins popped while your other hand held a small pocket knife that burned brighter than any Nichirin sword he'd ever encountered. He didn't understand, he was quick enough to kill even the best of the ancient Hiroshima. So how did a little foreign girl like you get the upper hand?
It was embarrassing and almost laughable if any of his pillars were alive to tell the tale.
You press the blade harder before bringing your other hand to caress Muzan's cheek, "Did you think I'd be just an ignorant descendant of an infamous hero?" You clicked your teeth disappointingly. "How naive, you've really become lazy after all these millennia huh?" You walk forward, pushing Muzan back with seductive strength. He allows you to push him into your couch, I say allow because at any time he could have stopped you.
Muzan is most definitely not holding me at gunpoint right now.
The knife never wavers even as you climb into Muzan's lap, pressing it even closer against his jugular. "You do know getting beheaded will not kill me, and I doubt this petty little kitchen knife will get the job done in the first place." Your lips draw into a smirk and you press the knife closer as you trail it down his chest, "That may be true but it's gonna take one hell of a time for you to grow back." Your hand jerks down, popping his shirt buttons open.
Muzan watches with interest, your eyes light up as more skin becomes exposed. The tones of your dark skin contrast strikingly as you caress his pectoral with the tips of your fingers. "For a 1,000 year old grandpa you look decent." Still threatening his life with your blade, you kiss him. It's deep and carnal. Your lustful desires being made known as you grind in his lap. The flesh of your ass snuggly hotdogs the forming outline of his cock. "I've always wanted to be with a demon. You've had to of become a real freak after living this long!"
When you pull away Muzan's thin lips are pink and a bit swollen. He is out of breath despite needing none, "You have a lot of nerve for a mere human." With your free hand you loosen the belt of his slacks, only standing to pull them off, pleased when Muzan voluntarily raises his hips to aid you.
Don't get him wrong, he was still planning on killing you and ending your wretched bloodline once and for all, he just needed his mind to clear itself. Your scent, your confidence, strung him along like a puppet. His hands grip onto your ass cheeks like a lifeline. Molding them between his fingers, even giving them a shake through your sweats. His nails elongate and puncture the thick fabric as if it was nothing more than a spider web.
Your sweats are tugged off completely leaving your lower half nude. Muzan moves his hands to hold your ass again but your blade politely makes itself known. You are out of breath and clearly flustered. "Watch yourself, demon, I'm the one calling the shots, don't forget that." Muzan bites his tongue with sharp glare. He raises his hands in surrender, "Of course."
Muzan can feel your wetness against his leg and it's driving him insane. "Hey…" red eyes refocus on yours, "You ain't got any diseases do you? And you can't get me pregnant right?" Muzan smirks hands enclosing around your ass despite your protest. "I can, however it will cost a lot more than doing it once." The odds didn't seem in your favor but you were in no position to stand down and grab a condom and Muzan knew it.
You curve the blade towards his chin, "If you are lying and give me some ancient unknown disease or I find out you have superman sperm, I will kill you." Muzan links his lips, "Wasn't that the plan from the beginning or have you had a moment of level headedness?" Your wrist is quick and precise, cutting a thin slash along his jawline., not enough to scar and it barely even bled, but the threat was clear.
You grab Muzan's dick and use your thumb to attack the underside with fast strokes. Said man doesn't react outwardly, the only sign being his eyelids lowering by a fraction. "Were you always this well endowed or did you adjust this part too?" Muzan was not amused by your insinuation. Deciding to once again display the true power imbalance this situation had, he loops his arms underneath your large thighs and lifts you just enough to thrust his cock against your hole.
From there he let's go, making you plop down on his length, making you yelp and allowing him to lean back with a relaxed sigh. You were so warm and tight. Now even though I explained what had happened with great detail, keep in mind that in reality it all happened within a fraction of a second.
Your large and in charge persona was cracking. You gripped Muzan's sides tightly as your pussy spasmed around his girth. "F-Fuck it's too….." you trail off not wanting to give Muzan the credit he was truly due.
It takes a few moments for you to get your bearings all the while Muzan and his dangerous jaw swayed in the crevice of your neck. A viper playing with its prey. The blade is back against his neck once again making his cock twitch. If he were human this would be a dangerous feat. Your grip never slacked nor lessened against his neck, slicing into a growing wound that dropped dark blood down his chest and to his abdomen.
His dick stretched your pussy and made it weap on each downstroke. Muzan's hands grip onto the cheeks of your ass with gritted teeth. Your insides gripped him ever so slightly. Sucking him back in as if he belonged there. He felt used and it felt good. His black ringlets stuck to his face from sweat and his red eyes grew in intensity.
He couldn't see much of your body, hell he could barely even touch. In the back of his mind humorous thoughts such as how he knew Tanjiro would lose his sanity if he knew his granddaughter was being bedded by the man he despised. But the more you bounced, the more you squeezed, the deeper you cut into his neck proved that you were truly the one in charge.
"Oh God you're so deep!" Your deep almond eyes shut themselves with pleasure. Muzan could feel your legs shaking with exertion at the same rhythm your pussy twitched. His balls felt tight after having no action in over a dozen years. "F-Faster." He has no care for your blade, only wanting to cum and feel the sweet ecstasy he knew your creamed pussy would provide. "Come on human, go faster." Muzan locks lips with you, gaze hardened and intent on proving some sort of point.
Tossing the knife you wrap your arms around his neck pulling his head closer. Red eyes target brown ones as his hands take a stronger grip on your ass. He uses his strength to bounce you. The sound of his balls slapping against the curve of your ass is just as disgusting as it is sexy. Your nipples rub against his through your tank-top making you both moan. The feeling blood stains your shirt making you shiver from the cool wetness
The couch you rest on bangs against the wall behind you the faster you both go. Muzan's feet are planted firmly in the ground, his fangs further elongated. He looks feral and it is in this moment where you get a glimpse of the horror many people felt when he took their lives. "Focus little Kamado, you wouldn't want to disappoint me now would you?"
Muzan's hips meet yours, spreading the tempo. Your juices coat his lap before finally you tense up completely into a cramp inducing stance as Muzan impaled you on his cock one last time. "Ahh.." Muzan empties himself within you with a relieved sigh.
Maybe the Kamado bloodline could go on.
#blackreader#black y/n#demon slayer smut#muzan x reader#anime smut#muzan smut#muzan x black reader#demon slayer x black reader
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go the distance
(will you) go the distance
— You’re perfectly content in life except for the fact that you are not dating Deku. When his best friend won’t help you out, you turn to the dark side to get what you want.
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pairing: pro hero!midoriya izuku x bad villain!reader
warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, manga spoilers, pro hero!au, villain!reader, ofa usage for sex lol, size difference, manhandling, public sex, slight degradation and praise, deku eats his cum outta ya pussy, big dick deku, corruption but make it opposite, deku is a pervert change my mind
word count: 12,715
a/n: well, yall already knew I wanted to make this fic a reality, so here it is for bnharems villain collab!! check out all the already amazing stories if you haven’t already. thank you to kara, sky, and jo for reading this for me because lmao im ass rn. I’m gonna go to bed because I partied a bit too hard last night.
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your quirk: distortion – can make afflicted persons vision shift 6 cm to the left or right at the cost of having their own vision shift the same way
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“Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcasted rumors of a villain running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures, and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning.
“Road maintenance endeavors to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before.
“Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city?
“Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved, but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city, please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary. One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.”
The female reporter closes her eyes, despite still being on the air, her eyebrows furrowed as she exasperatedly sighs.
“Was that good enough, Mirage?”
You look at her with a pout, your eyes then clenching shut as your lips move with unsaid words as you motion for the cameras to stop rolling. You tilt your head right and left, muttering a bit.
“Did that seem better to you this time? I don’t know, I don’t think it was scary enough...”
You open your eyes to see the exasperated reporter looking at you as if she personally sought to end you right where you were sitting.
“You are the worst villain I’ve ever encountered,” she deadpans, and you laugh in agreement.
.
.
.
You weren’t really a villain.
If you must put a label on what you were, you would say that you were the best PR head any hero agency could ask for. You were, after all, the top student graduate from UA’s Business Course and had been ushered into a condensed agency the moment you were finished taking your graduation pictures.
And well, if you are actually curious about the… villainy, you would like to uphold and continue to stress that you weren’t a villain! You were just a public nuisance – like those stupid YouTubers – with the ability to garner Pro Heroes’ attention! People had no reason to scoff at what you did on the daily.
You took both of these jobs very seriously!
It was like being straight out of a comic for you!
A simple – hopefully should the heroes you’re in charge of not be stupid – nine to five job by day, and a badass, crime-committing, sexy as shit villain by night! How could anyone ever hate you for your lifestyle! How could anyone ever hate you?!
But we are all noisy people, and everyone wondered just why you became a villain because you had a beautifully stable job with an impressive salary! Why would such an amazing woman such as yourself dabble in the evilness of humanity?
Well, you did have an answer for the public.
“Why do you engage in evil, villainous schemes?” the reporter deadpans, absolutely and utterly not being paid enough to humor you in this forced interview.
The public loved drama, pizazz, a little showmanship even from what they deemed humanities worst! So, you told the world why you chose to be evil instead of good:
“Because I want to be!” you grin, flashing a pose as you make your away from the interviewer you had very much illegally forced to interview you. “And because a hero killed my cat!’
Of course, that was a lie! Why would you ever hand over the real reason as to why you decided to become a villain! You’d be laughed right out of Japan, possibly be murdered by a horde of fangirls!
For you see, there was one reason and one reason alone as to why you decided to take your place within the villainy hall of fame. Why you chose to do more in your day outside of your already demanding job.
And that one reason was: Pro Hero Deku, civilian name Midoriya Izuku.
Now, trying not to come off as some creepy, weirdo, stalker fangirl, you could fully admit that you were in love with the stupidly large hunk of a man that debuted as an official pro a year before you graduated from high school.
You remember how the world was finally recovering from the year-long nightmare that had ensued. To be honest, you were stupidly surprised you had even managed to graduate, given that most of schooling had become somewhat of a joke.
FIVE YEARS AGO, MARCH, 2XXX:
It had been in the evening, the clear blue sky becoming ruby red and blood orange as you made your way out of campus. The air somehow smelled of sweet hay and gasoline, but you didn’t mind. There was hardly anyone out at this time, most students had made their way home already, and the only sounds were the moving cars of businessmen just trying to get back home.
There really wasn’t any reason to suspect anything to go wrong, this was a simple daily walk back home after school that wasn’t like any other. But then there had been a loud pop, an ever louder screech, and finally, you managed to whip your head in time to see a car tumbling through the air straight at you.
There was hardly any time to think, even less to react, and the only thing you knew was that you were not going to survive.
You braced yourself, eyes clenching and body curling, your mind screaming because this was not going to be the way things ended. But before it could happen, before the car could come down upon you and squish you like a bug under a shoe, something picked you up and you were weightless.
Waiting for an impact that never came, the tears that were endlessly streaming down your face were suddenly stopped by rough, warm fingers smoothly wiping them away.
“Hey, it’s okay! You’re safe now!” a voice says softly to you, endearingly warm and comforting. “I’m here, don’t worry.”
“Am I… did I die?” you whisper, unsure if you even want the answer, your eyes remaining closed because you refused to open them up to some angel that could confirm your death. “God, what an embarrassing way to die!”
“Oh – um, no! You’re not dead! I promise!” the voice laughs brightly, just softly enough that you believe him and not be entirely horrified by the amused reaction. Your eyes crack open slowly, just barely peering back into the world, still half praying you weren’t dead. But all you saw was green.
Green eyes, green hair, green clothes.
You blink, once, twice, realizing only then you were staring into the eyes of a boy about your age.
He had curly hair, freckles littering his face, and eyes that easily pierced through your very soul.
Without meaning to, your breath stopped, frozen in your lungs as you were captivated by a handsome man with a curving, beautiful smile.
“See, I told you it was okay!” he teased you, head cocking to the side as he grinned largely.
The action itself seemed to strangle the strangest noise out of your mouth as you realized suddenly and immediately that your face was burning and all you could think was:
A cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, a cute hero rescued me, acuteherorescuedme!
“Sorry about that scare! I would’ve caught that car sooner, but I wasn’t paying attention to who was around!” the green boy apologized, bowing deeply in front of you in his apology. “There’s a commotion just up ahead, so I recommend you take the next road over.”
You nod numbly, unable to conjure even the slightest hint of your voice again as he stood up to his full length. He was average in height it seemed, taller than you, but still not towering. The hero looked behind his shoulder, those big green eyes focusing onto the distance, onto something you couldn’t even begin to imagine – or see, really. He blinked and turned back to you, smile gone but the gentle aura to him remained, but now his face, his mouth, was underlined with a sense of urgency and engagement to whatever sent a vehicle tumbling your way.
“Which train do you take home?” he asked, eyebrows relaxing from his stern position, as his smile picked up again. “I’ll take you closer to your station!”
“B train,” you manage to wheeze out – unable to be the reason why he was held up but also confused as to just what he could do to get you closer to the station that was at least a mile away from here.
“Perfect! I know where that is!” he laughs for just a moment, and before you could even ask if this was going to be some escorted thing – because you definitely did not need it – his arms were fastly secured around you, and suddenly you were weightless.
A cold wind rushed against your face, nipping at your nose, cheeks, and ears, sending your hair flying around – into your mouth! Oh, you were screaming! You were soaring through the skyline, being held by some hero you couldn’t name, and you were screeching at the top of your lungs.
Making the mistake of looking down, your arms were suddenly around his shoulders, your voice growing even sharper and louder as you squeezed against his body and refused to let go. His hands, despite the gloves, were warm on your back, and his soft chuckle warming you from nose to toes as he secured his grip on you.
“I got you,” he spoke, “I won’t let you go, I promise.”
Those words don’t exactly ease you, but there’s a comfort to the genuinity to his words. You nod nonetheless, your face buried deep into his neck. The cold wind continues to whip around you, the only thing sounding in your ears is the cruel whipping wind and quiet city below.
“I’m landing now,” he informed you, body shifting in the wind, and reflexively, you clung even tighter to him, expecting the similar stomach dropping motion of a roller coaster going straight down. “You’re – ack – c-choking me!”
The knowledge of that, hearing the strain and entirely unhidden sound of him choking against the current chokehold you had on him, you released him entirely with a shriek of your own. Was it a smart move? No, definitely not because you were how many hundreds – if not thousands – of feet in the air with a quirk that could not, and would not save you.
“It’s okay! I’m fine!” he quickly said, his arms shifting around your waist as you felt your body weight drop just the smallest bit. To which your focus landed to the concrete floor so far down, and you began screaming again. He panicked just a bit too. “Y-You’re okay too! We’re landing! We’re landing!”
Soon, but not soon enough, the concrete floor came underneath your feet, and you practically felt your knees buckle underneath you. The train station behind you was practically invisible, and you felt the floor come in contact with your knees, and you collapsed onto your hands and knees. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as you wheezed and panted, unable to move from your position.
“Hey, look, we made it!” he laughed gently, probably being said in hopes that you would feel better. (It did make you feel slightly better, his laugh was light and pretty to listen to.) You could feel him approaching you, iron covered red shoes appearing before your vision. Looking up, you saw that the young hero was crouching, his face holding a wobbly smile that was earnest, worried, and full of unspoken hope. “I do need to get back, but before I do, are you good enough to be left alone?”
You blinked your soaked eyelashes at him, still largely unable to say anything at the cute hero in front of you who had a few scratches on his cheek, right below his freckles.
“Y-Yeah, um,” you say, your tongue cotten and lead in your dry mouth. “I-I’ll be fine, I think.”
The green eyed hero nods, offering you a hand and assisting you to your trembling legs, “That’s good to hear!” he chirped, his wobbly smile becoming a grand, bright grin. “You were really brave! I was impressed!”
Now, you were an idiot at times, but even you could spot a stupid lie. Still, hearing it said with such honesty, as if this hero who was no taller than five foot eight truly believed it, made something bubble in your chest, and soon you found yourself laughing.
“No need to lie to me, h-hero,” you manage to speak between stammering breaths, “thank you for saving me, though. I appreciate it.”
You grin crookedly at him, and to your utter delight, he reciprocates it.
“It’s the least I can do. I’d offer to take you home but… I’m not quite finished yet,” he says, and you can only nod, the conversation obviously reaching its last strides. You watch as he floats up, his eyes looking at you, but somehow focused how many miles away from where he had brought you from. “Stay safe?”
“I’ll try my best,” you agree to his question, hands clasping before your lap. “Finish the job quick, hero?”
He grins, “I’ll try my best.”
You feel a breathless sort of laugh escape you as you watch him beginning to shoot back up, but a sort of horror shoots through you as you rush forward, running right after him, hands cupping around your mouth as you scream:
“What’s your name?!”
The blur of green in the air freezes, and you stop running as you see green eyes and freckles focusing back onto you.
“Deku! My hero name is Deku!”
You stop at the curb of the street, eyes focused on the sky as the green eyed hero named Deku grins one last time before shooting off at a speed probably much faster than when he held onto you. The wind blows around you, and you can only feel the heat sitting on your cheeks and the way you’re smiling as you stare after his figure that's long, long gone.
“Deku...” you whisper to yourself, ignorant to the world of commuters beginning to appear at the station. “Thank you.”
And thus came the very apparent and obvious day in which you fell head over heels for Pro Hero Deku.
Now some people called you a stupid fangirl, obsessive stalker, and sometimes, yeah, you were obsessive and weird about your slight infatuation with a stranger. It was strange, you knew that! But you also knew that you had practically no chances of ever being able to woe the man behind the image of Deku because Midoriya Izuku practically existed as Deku 24/7.
After you graduated from high school, you were put into the same agency that was currently holding Deku. Without tooting your own rom-com obsessed horn too much, you fully expected to walk in and be handed Deku’s file as his PR manager and be able to thank him for not only saving you all that time ago, but also eventually sweep him off his feet.
But your reputation preceded you well, probably too well, because the first day you entered the office and was handed your list of three clients to work with, neither one was for Deku. Being a PR manager for heroes was hard, a job that practically held no set hours because, unlike your typical celebrities, heroes had no type of privacy or protection. They were constantly under the spotlight, being viewed by adoring fans and scornful critics. Your job served as the first line of defense for heroes against the public, and there were some heroes that were quite hilariously easy to work for because they were genuinely good.
The older PR managers typically held the quieter, easy tempered, or less combat heavy heroes. These heroes typically never had a bad thing said about them, their job was a glorified PA job but even less because there was no expected demands from the heroes they had to take in. Unless, of course, a hero wanted to do some sort of public event they hadn’t considered.
But there were the louder, quick to temper, or the heavy combat heroes that while made you an insane amount of money, also brought you a near 120 hour work week because there was so much to do, so much to consider, so much to keep your eyes on. There was the constant slander, the people who hated the louder, quick to temper heroes because they didn’t like their attitude, completely disregarding that they had been unsafe and a liability the entire time the hero was dealing with them. The talk shows that took months to convince to allow for an interview because they heard false rumors, and so you have to practically wrestle a boa constrictor to get a measly five minute interview done. And then the combat-heavy heroes… no one would ever shut up about building damages and how this hero broke his nose while he was stealing a store!
Not to mention having to have every single piece of social media on your phone, set to notify you whenever your clients names were brought up so that you could look at it. You’ve seen more than enough lewd drawings of your clients to last you a lifetime, enough fanfiction, and fan edits that left you with blazing cheeks and the need to never look at your client ever again. But mostly you checked each and every update because you were their first and only line of legal defense on these sorts of things.
You’ve taken down leaked nudes, fake news, and qualmed rumors and speculations.
It was hard.
So when you were shown to your desk on your first day and three files were handed to you, you were shocked to see the hero names you would be working with.
Dynamight
Phantom Thief
Shouto
Somehow, without having yet to speak with a single one of your now current clients, you knew that you were going to have your work cut out for you.
“Good luck newbie!” the woman who gave you the initial tour chirped, clapping you on the back. “You got this!”
Good lord.
Without much to do other than reading through the three’s files, you realized that you already knew a bunch about two of three of your clients. DynaMight and Shouto were two heroes that you knew teamed up with and hung out with Deku a lot, both on-field and off-field if any of the out of costume pictures said anything. Because of their connection with Deku, you had at one point learned a bit about them.
You knew that Shouto was a crowd favorite. He was tall and sweet and a complete airhead at the best moments despite him being smart. Controversy still surrounded his character, despite all the good he did, because of the past history that was brought out about his father Endeavor and his brother Dabi. The country couldn’t figure out where they stood in terms of that reveal. Endeavor did a lot before the reveal, and continued to rise up to everything in his path despite the skeletons in his closet being thrown out for the world to see. They neither forgave him, nor hated him, they only watched and waited. Then Dabi, of course, was seen as a could-have-been version of Shouto, and many tried to ask if he was really a hero and not actually siding with the League. After all, why on Earth would he be defensive of his father too?
The public had an unmoving image of Shouto based on anything but who he was as an individual, and you decided immediately that it would be your job to fix that. He was also, after all, a dear friend of Deku, so you’d do anything.
Phantom Thief was your easiest of the three clients. A relatively well mannered man who was kind and a bit weird in a fun way. He had a great sense of self and was a reliable person on the field. He made a great hero, but you could see the way his spirit blazed with an unspoken rivalry between him and the other two of your clients. Well, it seemed like he was the best until his former self appointed rivals came into the picture, but that was hardly ever, and according to Shouto, he was way worse back in their first year.
The greatest scandal he’s had so far in your three years of working at their agency was the one time he was lied to about a quirk and accidentally copied a woman's quirk that gave her the ability to change her cup size. Safe to say that Phantom Thief accidentally broke a few buttons on his shirt and was unable to stop civilians from snapping pictures.
But of course, the one that had you practically crying yourself to sleep nightly for more than one reason was Dynamight.
You’d known about him the moment you looked up Deku on your phone.
They were practically a hero duo in everything but name. They were always seen doing the same things together, whether that be on patrol together or maybe getting dinner, most of their top recorded fights were done with each other by their sides. You had also learned that they were childhood friends, and you practically vibrated at the thought that even though Deku was not your client, the chances of meeting him were still astronomically high.
There was no way you wouldn’t not meet Deku!
But you were wrong, so very, very wrong.
Turns out the hero duo in everything but name meant that Dynamight refused to let Deku be anywhere near him in the agency – the very small amount of time they spent in here. The few times they were in the same room, Dynamight absolutely refused to be interrupted because that was their paperwork hour. You had only ever been blessed with seeing green curls turning the corner as Dynamight gripped your forearm, refusing to let you follow.
“Like hell I’ll let you distract the shitnerd,” he stated simply, his red eyes narrowed as he stared down his nose at you. You opened your mouth, ready to defend your not so innocent intentions. “I’m not stupid, so don’t pretend like you won’t try anything.”
Your jaw snapped shut.
Safe to say that you couldn’t do anything about Deku so long as Dynamight was around.
But Dynamight as a client was exhausting to put it kindly.
There were so many opinions and thoughts and issues and praises coming from everywhere. Hell, even the fucking Americans and westerners had caught wind of the Wonder Duo at one point and while you were well knowledgable on their opinions on Deku, the ones on Dynamight were the ones that you had to focus on now.
People still called him a villain, so many unhappy with the fact that he still screamed and cursed and threatened. There were many conspiracy theories that he was working with the long dead League of Villains. They turned their nose up at the fact that he was childhood friends with Deku, claiming that no way an asshole like him could have ever been friends with him. And of course the bullying revelation that had come out shortly after your debut.
That had been a trip, one that had you even shocked as Dynamight approached the table in front of the media, his body calm and composed. You had watched as he simply said he owed nothing to the media, that he had already done all that he could to deserve his atonement and deserve Deku’s forgiveness. He had spoken clearly, concisely that it wasn’t any of their damn business as to what he did, and if he apologized to them, the unaffected, the ones that had nothing to do with his early years of bullying Deku, of his previous weakness and insecurity, it would be a waste of his breath.
It isn’t to them he should ever be apologizing to anyways.
You had watched as he stood up, face calm, and hands shoved into his pockets as he stood and walked away despite the screaming reporters. You had wanted to stay longer, have your own hand in damage control, but a swoop of green came in and Deku was at the microphone eyebrows furrowed as he pointed a finger at them all and said that his past with Kacchan was between him and Kacchan only, and his decision to forgive Kacchan were his and only his.
You didn’t hear the rest, didn’t even get the option to hear the way the hero you loved defended the hero you worked for – his childhood friend.
No.
Dynamight had grabbed your elbow and dragged you out of the room with him, the metal doors clanging closed the moment fierce green eyes met yours.
You watched in the company car as Dynamight looked outside the window, one elbow on the doorframe holding his chin; his gaze focused sharply on nothing but the passing sidewalk. Had it not been for the way the hand on top of his lap trembled, you would have thought he was perfectly okay.
Neither one of you talked about that again.
But just because you didn’t talk about it again, didn’t mean the world was the same. People claimed he brainwashed Deku, others demanded that Deku beat the shit out of Dynamight. You knew that Dynamight would want nothing to do with this, but you would stay in the office (an almost useless, empty office as most PR managers did their business at home) for hours long after you were supposed to be gone, practically arguing with someone who only existed behind a screen and didn’t even care that much – but you couldn’t stop.
Seeing Dynamight’s shaking hand had really done a number on you.
“The hell are you still doing here, eyelashes,” Dynamite asked from the dark entrance of the floor. “Go home already, don’t waste your time.”
You had startled at the initial intrusion, but you immediately relaxed seeing the smudged paint around red eyes and blond hair. You barely kept your gaze on him before turning back to your computer and continuing your argument.
“I’m not wasting my time, I’m doing my job,” you remark, eyes squinting at your keyboard because your vision is definitely blurry. “I’ll be heading out soon anyways.”
“God you’re fucking annoying and stubborn!” Dynamight barked, the heel of his hand slamming into his forehead. “This is exactly why I won’t introduce you to the fucking nerd!”
“What?!” you shriek, suddenly looking at your client as if he had personally attacked you – and in a way he did. “What do you mean you won’t introduce me to Deku because of that?! I’ve already met Red Riot, Chargebolt, Cellophane, and Pinky through you!”
“Yeah, because they’re not stubborn idiots too!” Dynamight accuses, jamming a gloved finger at you as he begins stomping your way. You startle, your chair shooting backward as the explosion hero makes his way towards you at alarming speed.
“What are you—?!” you shriek, hands flailing about as he grabs you by the collar of your distressed shirt.
Dynamight lifts you up to your feet as if you were a sack of flour and you grasp onto his forearm.
“I might tell you that you’re the most annoying and stubborn bitch in the world, but you’re not worse than fucking Deku,” Dynamight sneers, his red eyes narrowed and stern. “I’m not going to let you meet him until you learn how to give or you’ll hurt him, and I’m not going to be part of any reason as to why he gets hurt again.”
Your jaw dropped, clearly offended, but you closed it just as fast; the weight of his words made you a bit sad, even for just a bit.
“You’re kinda cute when you care for Deku, you sure I’m his biggest fan?” you tease, grinning at the hero to which he rolls his eyes.
“Shut the hell up and go home already; it’s annoying seeing you fight a losing battle that’s none of your damn business,” Dynamight simply said, putting you back onto your feet and blocking out your desk.
“I’ll go home on the condition that for my birthday you at least consider introducing us!” you say, unwilling to move from your spot. “I’ve been working for you for three years! You’ve kept me away for three years!”
Dynamight’s stare didn’t even shift the slightest millimeter, his red eyes unamused as you groaned in grief and annoyance.
“I’m stubborn? Have you met yourself?!” you grumble snatching your jacket and purse from the hook on your cubicle and shoving them on. “My names God of Explosion Murder: Dynamight and I am Stubborn™ but will never admit it.”
You continued mocking your long time client and most definitely friend if you dared to say so, and dragged the heel of your foot all the way to the elevator to which you were joined by Dynamight. The trip down the elevator is silent, and you keep your gaze locked on the closed doors, unwilling to even look at the hero next to you.
Soon enough, the elevator reached the ground floor, and you got ready to walk out.
“I’ll consider it,” Dynamight said as the elevator doors opened. “Also, fucking stop calling me Dynamight, Bakugou’s fine.”
He walked off the elevator with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants.
“Thank you, Bakugou!” you shriek, your lungs failing you at the thought of finally being introduced to Deku! You hadn’t moved from your spot from the elevator, your chest hammering with the thought of getting to meet Deku.
“Don’t get your hopes up, you’re still irritatingly stubborn,” Bakugou merely calls over his shoulder before lifting his hand in a halfhearted wave before stepping out of the glass door.
That brought you back to reality just a bit and you scowled, knowing you would have to go beyond and above to prove that.
But you see, there were many reasons to cry about having Bakugou as your client. Besides the stinkhole of his previous bullying, people just were not understanding his typically prickly exterior. You had to go head to head with reputation tarnished, had to slap fangirls away who demanded that Bakugou degrade them where they stood. It was hard to not be stubborn as not only his PR manager but his friend, and in less than a month, still plenty of time before your birthday, you had already grown irritated of the meeting-Deku-card he waved over your head.
“Mei, if I have to go any longer than this, I will die and hope I am reborn as Deku’s new guardian angel,” you pouted, chin pressed against a cold metal tabletop. Your hands being used as glove models for one of your best friends Hatsume Mei. “It’s first of all impossible getting anywhere near him with his guard dog Bakugou literally stopping me whenever I’m within a ten foot radius! And then I’m not even sure what will happen when we do meet again! Would I even be able to talk to him?!”
“Why wouldn’t you? You talk to all my babies with me! There’s practically nothing you can’t do,” Mei laughs, smacking you against your back before returning her intense gaze back to the gloves. “Deku’s uh… I actually can’t remember him but I’m sure he’s a great conversationalist! I think he helped me with the Sports Festival my first year.”
“That was Iida,” you laugh, wiggling your fingers as Mei demanded. “You’re so bad with names and faces, I’m impressed you know mine.”
“You saved my baby, of course I remember you,” Mei turned her grin towards you, “but come on, why can’t you get with him besides this Bakugou guy?”
“Well, he’s just like Bakugou! He’s practically married to his job! Their schedules basically match together perfectly! There’s literally only three hours a day while they’re on the job that they’re not together! And that’s when they patrol their own parts of town because there’s hardly any activity they don’t need to be attached by the neck.” You explain and rant, your cheeks puffing as you stand up and allow Mei to run further tests on the glove.
“Sounds like you gotta become a villain to woo this hero guy, huh,” Mei spoke, eyes focused on the glove as you pointed a finger at the far wall and watched as a beam exploded from the fingertip and pierced through the steel wall like butter. “Too bad you’re a goody two-shoes or else I could make you some serious villain gear and make you a fearsome villain to then prove that Hatusme Mei’s babies and creations are untouchable and the best in the world! Muah-ha-ha-ha!”
You know her words are more joking than serious, but that doesn’t stop your eyes from widening. Your body shifts over to where she was standing and you screech pointing at her and just narrowly missing setting off the laser again.
“THAT'S IT!”
“What’s it?” she asked, completely confused.
“You have to make me a villain!” you exclaim, rushing over to Mei, who is eagerly waiting for her babies returnal especially since it ran perfectly. “You have to make me near-invisible gear that can keep me going toe to toe with Deku until I can seduce him!”
“You want to turn evil?” Mei questions, finger pressing quizzically to her chin. “That doesn’t seem right.”
“I am definitely not villainous to pull that off, but like I pretend to be a villain so that he talks to me and we can like get to know each other!” you exclaim, you’re unable to keep from hopping up and down on your feet, your grin unfathomably bright. “It's practically a romcom in the making!”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mei laughs, altering the band of fabric around your waist. “You do know heroes and villains hardly speak? It’s more like… ‘I’m more powerful,’ ‘No me!,’ ‘No, ME!’”
“Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but whatever! I’ll figure out a way!” you continue on unaffected because this plan was genius! Especially if you had Mei in your corner?! Her recent development of not using such… steampunk designs made her creations elusive and dangerous to own. Hence why she was an extremely sought out manufacturer, by villains and heroes alike. “And if I can go toe to toe with Deku of all people, you’ll know that you and your babies are the undeniable best!”
“Hm, that is promising,” Mei agrees with a nod as she forces you around. “Is this Deku guy all that good?”
“He’s the one you made the iron soles for!” you chirp and watch as the recognition and challenge spark immediately in Mei’s yellow eyes.
“Oh,” Mei chuckles, turning away from you and looking at her pile of made babies. “This would be good.”
“So we have an agreement?” you grin excitedly.
“Give me a month, and we’ll have your debut!”
Fuck Bakugou for thinking you weren’t good enough!
.
.
.
You hadn’t expected the initial phases of villainy to be quite as hard as it was, if you were being honest. The late nights at Mei’s personal lab made sure to keep your plans a solid secret, but you had to prepare for the wild range of what Deku’s quirk entailed.
There was smoke, something you were already used to working in because of Bakugou and his quirk. You’ve navigated quite a bit in his smog, and as long as you knew where you were, you would be fine.
There was also that danger sense, which allowed him to know when things were coming – something that shouldn’t be too big an issue considering you weren’t actually attempting to extract danger onto him.
Blackwhip was a big issue. How far or how much could you do if he even grabbed a hold of you. With sleuthing and the help of Mei having files on everyone's quirks, you were able to find information that blackwhip was a creation made of energy. Meaning that Mei was now making some type of destructing material to lessen the energy of the quirk, allowing for you to escape should he attempt to capture you this way.
Float was stopped by having most of your fights occur within a confined area, which was needed for you anyways! You didn’t need to be caught by anyone else but him! You didn’t actually need to land in jail – you would prefer to not be handled by anyone but Deku, actually.
Then of course the stupid superstrength and superspeed, both of which you knew you could handle with your quirk. You’ve been head to head with people with quirks similar to that before, and you knew your quirk was tricky enough that you’d manage to slip right past his fingers just fine. After all, you knew full and well that the Deku who took down S class villains was worlds quicker than F class villains – aka you.
You would be fine.
But today was day one, first of how many days it would take to get Pro Hero Deku, aka Midoriya Izuku to fall in love with you.
You were dressed in a black and purple bodysuit that was definitely not inspired by Shego from Kim Possible’s costume. Your hair was dyed purple by a special spray Mei created that would be washed out by the end of the day, but wouldn’t ever give away that it was fake. You wore a mask over your eyes, and grinned seeing that you couldn’t see a fleck of color on your irises.
Perfect.
And with far too much confidence, nauseating excitement, and unjustified attitude, you marched down towards your first spot, ready and adopting the identity of who you were about to become.
Mirage.
It was time to act. Deku and Dynamight were on different patrol routes right now, and you sent your threat, readying for the moment for the man in green to come in with the desire to stop you. With the very real threat of stealing every puppy within the tristate area being broadcasted within the area unless and hero bests you, you waited for your savior to come and stop you.
“I am here to stop your villainous acts, you villain!” a voice shattered the silence just as it shattered your heart. You looked over your shoulder to see some hero you couldn’t name standing at the other stairwell entrance with his fists clenched and ready to fight.
You groaned, shoulders crumbling with your well hidden disappointment.
“I wasn’t looking for you!” you exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the flabbergasted hero who was just trying to figure out what was happening. “Where’s Deku?!”
“He’s – he’s not here yet,” he stammers, eyes wide. “It’s not his day anymore to patrol this area?”
“Aw fuck!” you complain, pouting at the realization that you had messed up. “Okay, I’ll be back later, please don’t come back. Bye!”
With a small wave, you easily stepped through the door to the stairwell next to you and left, your threat empty and the hero victorious despite not actually stopping you. And unfortunately, although you had wished and prayed even, this was not the last time a screw up like this would happen.
At the threat of destroying all the cats in the area, you had another hero show up, not Deku, and you groaned and left before they could even finish their call of stopping you.
You then threatened to poison the watering system, to which you found out that Deku was held up at another major villain threat in a different city. You groaned and stomped off after that.
Then there was the time you swore you would increase the overall temperature of the city per one degree celsius should your demands not be made. Shouto answered that one and you immediately walked away the moment you saw the familiar head of red and white coming your way.
Time and time again you kept being caught by heroes you could not care about, being confronted by no names and nobodies. It was tiring, and Mei was beginning to sigh just the smallest bit whenever you showed up to try yet again.
But you weren’t a quitter!
You would win!
This was your last attempt at getting Deku to notice you.
After threatening to wrap all the citizens in the area with a giant froot by the foot, you were almost sad to say that the heroes ignored your cry for chaos and no one had come to check on you.
You sat outside the building you used as your trap for Deku, pouting into a hot dog that the neighborhood's grandma gave you because you looked like you needed something to eat. It’s a good thing you weren’t actually a villain or else they’d be fucked, you bitterly thought as you took another bite of your food.
It had been a month of empty, no Deku appearances, and you were going to bite the bullet and pretend to be not stubborn just so stupid Bakugou of all people could introduce you.
You kicked your feet as you sat on the staircase, humming as you watched the empty streets bend with the wind. It was quiet, beautiful, peaceful.
“YOU!” a voice shrieked to your left, and you watched a pudgy, red nosed man racing over towards you, a flash drive clenched in his hands. “TAKE THIS! RUN! DON’T LET THE HEROES TAKE IT!”
You gawked at him, feeling the small plastic device being shoved into your hands as the man collapsed at your feet. You squeaked when you heard a voice yelling stop and you bounced to your feet, turned into the building and raced in.
Your breathing was erratic, heart in your throat as you raced up the stairwell, unable to begin to imagine what the hell the information on the flash drive held. You were practically hyperventilating as you reached the floor you had come to know extremely well, and you stood near the window with shaky hands and legs.
What did you take?!
“I’m going to need that back, I’m afraid,” a low smooth voice said from behind you, and you froze immediately. Old anxiety overcome by a new anxiety, one that made your stomach flip and blood burn.
Turning around, you felt awestruck to see the one man you’ve been waiting for… for fucking years now, really, to appear before you, finally be there. In the flesh, completely, entirely. Your jaw dropped, your gaze looking down from your clenched hand that held the USB to the way that Deku looked at you with warm eyes that were underlined with steel that made you want to drop to your knees, confess everything, and beg to be his. God, he was so fucking tall. He had only been about five foot eight the last time you had actually talked, and now he was at least a foot taller. His teenager haircut was long gone, now replaced with his curls trimmed at the nape of his neck before filling out on top – not quite an undercut. He had more freckles now, surely. His skin just a bit tanner, a scar trailing from his cheek to his jaw. You knew there were more scars, just as you knew that there were dimples when he smiled.
You wanted to have him between your legs while you begged for mercy, holy shit.
Tucking the USB into your pocket, you tilted your head as you will yourself to relax.
“I went through all the trouble of getting it... I think if I’m going to hand it over quickly, I deserve to know what’s on it, no?” you tease, your confidence coming out of nowhere while a smile spreads ever so largely over your features. Deku’s eyes widened just a bit, shock overcoming his green eyes.
“I’m sorry, but that’s confidential,” Deku stresses, taking a step forward toward you. You click your tongue, taking a step backward while grinning.
“I don’t think that’s what I asked for,” you giggle as you watch Deku’s face go through an array of emotions before settling onto one – curiosity.
“What do you want?” he asked, apparently entirely ready to discuss any and all terms and conditions with you.
“Honestly?” you reply, tapping a gloved finger to your chin as you ‘think.’ Deku, however, nods. His stance relaxing, becoming one of preparedness but not the takedown he had previously entered with.
“A date with you.”
You watch as Deku’s eyes slam wide open, his jaw dropping immediately and he stammered. Oh, how your heart soared and how you felt giddy and wonderful as he seemed to slip and slide on his own tongue!
“A-A date?!” he ends up almost shrieking, his head shaking left and right. “T-That’s a total lie! You can’t possibly – well, no! Please tell me the truth!”
But you were giddy, practically drunk off the fact that you were making the most powerful hero in the world blush like a little schoolboy. You suddenly were on the offensive, stepping towards your hero who was much larger than you with power and drive behind each step. And it must have been the way you stared him down, the way you walked towards him at blank range with such brimming confidence that Deku takes a step back. But it’s something that makes you want to laugh as the heel of his foot gets caught on a raised tile, and you watch the mountain of a man tumble to the floor.
You’re on top of him immediately, hands pressed to his shoulders, knee settling near his crotch with most of your weight so he got the idea to not do anything funny. The USB sits between your fingers, and you lean over his flushed face that looks up at you with wide eyes.
“Actually, I changed my mind, I know what I want,” you say instead, nose ghosting over his. “Everytime I decide to do something… naughty… I want you to be the hero on the case to stop me. You and just you.”
You lean in closer, so close that you could see the specks of gold in his green, green eyes.
Deku hasn’t spoken, and you’re pretty sure his chest isn’t moving as you press your breasts against his.
“Understood, De-ku?”
Your teeth tug at his bottom lip and let go as he nods.
“Good, good,” you grin, sitting up on his chest and taking the USB in your fingers and slipping it into his utility belt. “Take good care of that for me, I’ll see you next time, hero…”
You had only managed to flash a quick wave before disappearing through your usual door, hoping and praying to god that whatever the hell possessed you would continue until you reached Mei’s. It wouldn’t hit you until much, much later than you had stunned Pro Hero Deku speechless within the first meeting.
Hell, you thought giddily as you answered Bakugou’s call about how he probably just got into a bit of a messy situation, maybe you do have the potential to woo him like this.
.
Thus truly began your descent as the villain Mirage.
.
It was quickly accepted and discovered that the moment you stepped into that costume and colored hair that you were the prey for Deku and Deku only. Most of your interactions with Deku occurred within buildings, and you used Mei’s gear to gain the final laugh each and every time to allow for you to escape. There were times, however, where you could be seen racing through the sky. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop as Deku followed after you, leaping, tumbling, and even catching you at times.
You flirted with him heavily, allowing yourself to be caught so that you could bat your pretty lashes and press your chest against his. It didn’t matter how professional he was, how good at his job he was, Deku was a pervert – so obviously a pervert it made slipping away almost too easy.
But because you had the world-renowned, world known Pro Hero Deku as the only hero on your case, soon the small block who had to play victims to your horrendous crimes became only a small percentage of people who were watching your crimes. These near daily crimes (or inconveniences/botherings as the people on the internet say to defend you and your actions) are becoming both a worldwide sensation, and so, it took nothing for you to continue having Deku at your feet and the world chipped in. So you agreed to do interviews, forcing uneager reporters to do segments on you so that the hype behind you and Deku’s relationship grew.
You didn’t want him to leave you, not until you got what you wanted, and unless you were an idiot, you were nearly positive you were almost there.
Why would you say that?
Well, a few reasons.
The first came about a week after you had first met Deku again.
You had joyously gathered the means to create a machine to shave down an eighth of an inch of everyone's shoes in the entire country of Japan without their knowledge. You had ever so evilly explained that the point of this was to ensure that for a full day, everyone would feel off and unbalanced but would not know why.
You had said this, grinning widely as you turned around to see Deku standing there attempting to fight off a very amused smile.
“I don’t think that would be all too evil, Mirage,” he called out to you, arms folding across his chest as he watched you set up the machine to do exactly what you said you would do.
“Mm, that’s what you say now, but just wait until you’re one of the losers stumbling around,” you say back, grinning as you turn around for just a second, wagging the knife at Deku from the distance.
“Well, regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku laughs just slightly, and you grin, standing up.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yes, so I’m going to have to ask you to stop right there.”
You giggle.
“Make me.”
You’re not sure what happens, but there’s dodging and weaving, spinning and sliding. You’re practically wheezing from how hard you’re laughing as Deku can not manage to land a finger on you with the help of Mei’s items and your quirk. It all comes to an end when instead of dodging, you throw yourself right at him, and Deku has not anticipated that.
His eyes are wide open and you fiercely grin as he falls back onto the floor, unbalanced and only slightly frantic. You have the knife pointed at his neck, the dull blade sitting gently on his skin.
“So, Deku,” you taunt teasingly, your teeth burying into your bottom lip for just a moment at the sight of the dark flash in his green, beautiful eyes. “Tell me one thing, or I’ll continue on with my vile plans.”
“O-Okay?”
“Are you single?”
The second attempt came a few many weeks later.
You had gathered about 75 tons of glitter bombs and were in the current process of making them one. You had plans of setting it off over Tokyo so that for practically the rest of eternity, the entire city would have glitter everywhere. The only thing is that you did have to glue the glitter bombs together because, well, no one made super giant ones.
“This is so annoying, there’s glitter everywhere, and I’m only ten glitter bombs in!” you complain to the ‘empty’ room but knowing full and well that Deku had appeared through the broken window at least five minutes ago.
“If it’s annoying to you, then shouldn’t you stop?” Deku replied and you grinned.
He really couldn’t stay quiet, huh?
“Well, if it’s annoying to me, then that means every one of my victims will also find it annoying. Win-win situation.” you say, turning around towards him and winking. Facing back towards the glitter bombs you scowl, “stupid fucking glue gets everywhere, too!”
“Regardless, you know I can’t let you do that,” Deku said as leveled as he could although you swore you heard a laugh in his voice.
“Just try and stop me,” you reply back stone cold.
You stand up and watch as Deku stands up from the windowsill and sighs just a bit too heavily.
“Guess I have to,” he says and shoots out before you’re well prepared.
Typically, and probably in any other situation, this would have been the end. Pro Hero Deku had come at you with the speed and power as he took out any other Class F criminals, but unfortunately for him, and definitely fortunately for you that glue was EVERYWHERE.
Deku’s hand was stuck onto your arm, and your chest was glued to his stomach, and you swear you never quite got the strawberry Deku references until right now.
The perverted hero burned scarlet, his face practically simmering with heat as your body became undeniably stuck to his. You had to fight off the vindictive smirk, the practically snarling grin as you could feel something hot and heavy twitch at your hip.
“Fuck,” Deku wheezed.
“Fuck, yeah,” you grinned.
.
.
“WHAT?!”
.
.
Deku could not look you in the eyes for about 10 more interactions following that, but you counted that as a win. But undoubtedly, your starred and favorite memory of it all was something that occurred just last week of the current present events.
You had stood on top of a building, threatening the entire government of stealing (i.e., cutting off) the aglet of their shoes and sweaters and then removing all the laces so that it would result in their wasted time and entire humiliation!
“I don’t think most people even know what aglets are, to be honest,” Deku said from behind you. You turned around to see that he was standing there with an unsuppressed grin. “It’s not a good enough threat.”
You go unfazed by his judgement, choosing to instead bat your eyelashes and push your hair behind your ear.
“Not a good enough threat, and yet, you’re still here?” you tease, enjoying the way pink flushes to his cheeks.
“Where else would I be?” he says, and you have to ignore the way your stomach fills with butterflies.
“You’re not cute when you flirt back,” you deadpan, biting your tongue harshly when he says ‘hey!’ “Enough chit chat, let me kick your ass now and then do what I need to do.”
Unlike probably what is 95% of the time, you made the first move today.
You were on the offensive, jabbing and weaving, sweeping and punching. Deku’s green eyes were nearly black as he watched you, analyzing and taking in your movements, countering them all without so much of an issue.
“I still don’t get your quirk,” Deku grunted as his hand swiped at the empty air. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“So then you can turn me in to the government who are still salty about their aglets? I don’t think so!” you say with a laugh, rolling out of the way as Deku lunges forward. “Try again, baby, I have full faith that you’ll get it.”
Deku puffed out a chuckle and lunged again, his huge gloved hand swiping at you, with nearly accuracy despite your quirk being on. But… he wasn’t exactly perfect.
RIIIIIIIIIP!
Cold air hit your breast and your jaw dropped as your very exposed breast appeared before you and Deku. Pro Hero Deku had torn the breast of your costume, the costume that you purposefully did not wear a bra for because you had wanted this exact scenario to play out.
“DEKU!” you screech, pretending to be modest and covering your tit as Deku finally yanked himself out of staring at your breast and whipped around.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t think that was going to happen! I didn’t even mean to look at your boob! It just sort of all happened too fast and it was very shocking! N-Not that you have an ugly boob or anything because actually I think you have a very great boob! But oh my god, I need to shut up please ignore me!” Deku spoke so fast in a matter of five seconds, and you couldn’t even tell him to come back as he sprinted away.
His ears burned red and you swore even as he was gone, you could still see the red of his ears illuminating the sky.
You laugh.
“What a perv.”
And so, we are back to the beginning.
Back to how you forced a local news channel to read your demands so that you could hopefully take your final bow as Mirage forever.
With the threat of having a machine that would make dogs bark at a frequency for hours on end until humans eardrums broke then bleed. You made your way to your typical building and hummed as you waited.
The world outside was the same as always.
There were a few people out, a few cars driving through the street, and a few birds chirping here and there.
It was peaceful.
“Don’t you think the new reporter thing was a bit dramatic?” Deku chuckled from behind you.
You were used to him approaching like that, used to him trying to portray being elusive and cool. In your opinion, it just made him dorky.
“No such thing as being dramatic when I’m trying to go head to head with the greatest hero ever,” you respond back effortlessly. You spin on your heel and look back at Deku, who is leaning against a doorframe that he most definitely is slouching on so that the top of his head doesn’t hit the frame. “Hi, Deku.”
“Hi, y/l/n,” he says with a soft smile, one that's slightly victorious, one that makes your stomach knot in a pleasant way.
“Ah, you discovered my secret identity,” you observe, grinning as you begin approaching Deku. “Should I be scared?”
“Probably not, I don’t think I could do anything to you,” Deku sighs, pushing off the door frame and walking towards you too. “You’re pretty amazing, y/l/n.”
“Let’s prove that then,” you grin while zipping forward.
As if the both of you knew that this was the end of the line, the final confrontation, the battle this time was different. It was showy, flirty, full of spins and side steps, playing a game of cat and mouse while dodging and weaving. You laughed as blackwhip dissolved around your costume, and you frowned as he began using more of his power to get from point A to point B much quicker.
You’re not quite sure how it happened, what exactly you did wrong, or maybe Deku just finally figured out the pattern you used for your quirk because suddenly you were being tackled from behind. You shrieked as the two of you went down, his body flushed on top of you, his chest pressing to your shoulders.
The both of you were heaving, panting, completely out of breath from the five minutes you took playing around. He holds your wrists in one hand, pinned above your head, and the other one is on your waist. You were trapped beneath him, unable to move the absolute unit of a man above you, arms and hips weak to his weight. You shoved your hips up, attempting to shift some of his weight off you, but you froze as he choked on a breath by your ear.
Your ass was pressed against something hard, thick, and hot.
Oh.
Ohhh fuck.
It was happening.
Holy fucking shit.
Your breathing hitches as you thrusted your ass up again, confirming you were grinding on what was definitely Deku’s hardening cock. And once again, Deku makes the prettiest, most embarrassed gravelly grunt at the back of his throat and you feel like every strand of resistance and strength snaps.
The hand on your waist pulls you even closer against his crotch, and there's lips pressing against your neck, and you absolutely lose it.
He kisses your neck sloppily, teeth nipping at your exposed flesh, and you grind against him, moaning and thrusting back as your body feels like it's on fire. He wanted you! He wanted you and your plan to woo him worked!
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” you keen breathlessly. “Wanted you so badly, Deku.”
“Fuck,” Deku curses, his hips thrusting back against your clothed ass with power you couldn’t fucking wait to feel. “I wanted you too. Wanted you so badly, but didn’t think – holy shit.”
His hand that pins your wrists lets go of you, and moves to grab your jaw. You nearly fucking melt as his full lips slam against yours, and you moan as his lips move against yours. There’s something indescribable about how he’s kissing you, the want, the need, the months of suppressed tension bursting through every move and curve of his mouth. It doesn’t matter to you that you’re pressed up against the concrete floor, you feel like you’ve been placed into another world, an area where you can never come back.
Your arm reaches behind you and buries into his soft curls, you tug at them as your ass circles against his thrusting hips. His tongue slips into your mouth, and you whine at the hot, wet muscle in your mouth, and it sends your head spinning. You can’t take it anymore, you need him, want him flushed against your front.
“Can I fuck you?” Deku asks swollen lips pulling away from yours, his mouth frantic and trailing kisses up your cheeks and down your jaw. “Please, I wanna fuck you so bad. Wanna fuck you on the floor and against the wall. Can I make you mine?”
You nod your head frantically, unable to come up with the words to say in order to tell him yes.
Deku laughs breathlessly and flips you over so that it’s your back against the floor now.
And just like you want him to, Deku comes down to reclaim your mouth. Hot, open mouthed kisses, teeth tugging at your lips and hands grabbing your waist. His hands are huge against you filling up the space between your hip and your waist without an issue. Your legs wrap around his waist, feeling entirely small underneath him, but entirely ready to be fucked by him.
His lips move expertly against yours, teeth nibbling at your lips, mouth then sucking on your tongue. You can’t keep the continuous moans from leaking out, can’t keep yourself from staying quiet as your eyes flutter open and see green eyes so dark they look black, staring down at you with the intensity of a predator.
You were his prey, and you would present to him at the drop of a hat.
His body is hot, heat rolling off of his hero costume in waves, making you feel like you were near burning against him. And the heat between his thighs sits at the bottom of your ass, thrusting up and grinding against you so that you don’t forget even for a moment that you are making him this way.
“I always knew you’d have such a pretty moan,” Deku mumbles as his fingers find the zipper to your costume and begin to tug it down. His lips trail down your neck, biting and nipping at the newly exposed flesh. “Knew you’d look so pretty under me, waiting to be fucked into submission.”
The words spark something within you, your eyes fluttering as your hips grind just a tad bit faster and you whine.
“Aw, is that what you wanted this entire time, y/l/n?” Deku asks, his grin pressed against your collarbone. “Wanted to be stretched out and fucked until you can’t anymore?”
“I want it,” you gasp, your fingers burying deep into his curls. “I want you, I want it, I want your dick in me already!”
“Not into foreplay?” Deku chuckles just a bit, tongue then tracing up your neck.
“Oh I am,” you snap, fingers finding the zipper of his own costume. “You can find out later how much I’m into it, but right now, I have been wanting you for years, and you will not make me wait any longer!”
Deku only nods frantically, and it's a mess of limbs, sloppy kisses, and clothes as the both of you strip to nothing.
Deku’s in between your legs, one hand pressed to the back of your knee, the other gripping what you believe is his dick because it makes everything in the world freeze as you see it. It’s huge, so thick that his hand wraps around it in a nice grip, and it long, curling up to his abs, curved and veiny.
“Holy shit,” you squeak, your cunt already clenching at the thought of taking that in.
“Are you ready?” Deku asks, the hand on your leg moving away for a moment as he cards his fingers back through his hair. “I don’t have a condom, though.”
“That’s fine, I don't care,” you dismiss his words, eyes too focused on the flush cock in his hand. “I don’t think I’ll live after you kill me with that anyways.”
Deku laughs just a bit, his dimples flashing as he leans in and kisses you deeply. You tremble underneath him, feeling so small pressed up against him, and you mewl when you feel the head of his cock pressing between your folds.
“Put it in,” you gasp, leg lifting and wrapping around his waist, “put it in! I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk, do you understand?!”
Deku nods, and with a sense of frantic need, his hand guides his cock into you.
It feels like you’re splitting in half. The girth of his cock stretching your walls out to the max, and he’s only going in. You scream loudly, both in pain and pleasure because it hurts so good.
“Take it, baby, take me all in,” Deku pants, his hips pushing out small, tiny thrusts to ram his cock further and further into your twitching cunt. “That’s i-it, holy fuck, that’s it! You’re taking me all the way in. F-Fuck… you’re so amazing! So fucking perfect!”
Tears are pouring out of your eyes, and your nails are tearing into his back, you sob slightly overwhelmed with his cock and the absolute pleasure of finally getting what you want and it being so much better than you thought. Your cunt throbs almost violently as Deku’s cock finally hits your cervix and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he thrusts in further, lips attempting to claim yours.
“Fuck me, Deku,” you beg, hips beginning to slam and fuck up onto his cock. “Please! I need you!”
“Such a desperate little villain though,” Deku sighs, teasingly, giving you one strong thrust for good measure. It goes a long way though, the power behind his thrust and thighs promising you a bruised ass, thighs, and cunt makes your mouth water for more. “I need you to promise to never do anything like that again and be a good little manager for Kacchan.”
“W-Wha–”
“Be good and stop being Mirage, or else you won’t be fucked.”
There was no hesitation.
“Okay.”
And just like that, Deku’s soft smile curves into a knowing, fierce smirk, and you can do nothing as his hands press to the back of your knees and he begins thrusting his hips into you. And it takes you completely out of control.
It’s a messy, frantic dance, your body holding onto his, your lips pressing against his, desperate and needy for his, and he is basically trying to imprint his body onto yours, the concrete, and the walls. Your bodies are so foreign to each other, and yet, when he fucks into you just a bit hard, just a bit faster, you come undone, back arching and toes curling as you sob his name.
It’s overwhelming to know that he can read you this well and for you to have never fucked him before. It’s empowering to see that he likes every forced and involuntary squeeze and clench of your cunt. He loved when your nails dug into his skin, raking their existence against the plane of broad muscles and scars.
Deku curses your name as you clench around him, his hands moving to your jaw so that he can lift your face to kiss him just so. He kisses you with a heated passion, a need that strips your entire being bare, and his hips slam so loudly against you, the slicked wetness is squelching and slapping with every grunt and moan.
In and out his cock goes, and you praise him and his cock.
You praise him for making you feel so good, for stretching out your pussy with that fat cock of his. You beg for more, and more, and more. You want every snap of his hips to send new colors to your vision, and every echoing squelch of your meeting, sloppy sexes only adds to the blabbering, unmanaged sentences from your lips.
“Harder, faster, more!” you beg, practically wailing against his shoulders, needing him more and more. The concrete hurts against your back, but you don’t care. You don’t care if he breaks your back, it’s a fall you’ll take. “Don’t hold back! Don’t you dare hold back!”
“Fuck, you’re crazy,” Deku gasps, his sweaty brow burying into your cheek. “I won’t though, I won't. Be ready, I’m not sure if you can take it.”
Before you can snap back that you can in fact take it, Deku’s weight falls heavier onto you and the angle shifts just slightly, and your words are ripped right out of your throat for a pitched, window shattering screech. Deku fucks into you with a new power, some untapped strength as greenspark falls from his skin as he ruins you for anyone ever again.
Your voice begins to scream out, the feeling of his vicious, thick cock snapping into you, shoving your shoulders further and further into the concrete was sending your head spinning. Your body is convulsing as he fucks you with new vulgar need and strength. But before you could scream your praises, Deku’s fingers shove into your mouth, and his other hand wraps around your neck, silencing your words and noises as he fucks up into you again and again and again.
“So loud, angel,” Deku smirks, fingers stroking and pinching your tongue as saliva pours endlessly from your mouth. His voice isn’t strained however, doesn’t have any indication that he’s out of breath or ready to tap out and that nearly makes you go insane. “I can’t wait to see everything that makes you look like this… you’re so pretty when you’re getting fucked.”
Your head is spinning, the heated tightness in your core clenching and throbbing as his conquesting cock never once stops or lessens. It just grows and grows and grows. His cock twitches in you, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he lets out a deep moan.
“Such a good and wet cunt you are,” Deku gasps as you gag against his fingers that press roughly against the back of your tongue. Your vision feels hazy, but you feel like you’re on cloud nine as his hand on your throat opens and closes, demonstrating his power over you. “I’m so glad you went through all this hard work to get me to fuck you.”
You can’t speak, so you nod desperately, you were so happy you did this too.
Your hips buck up into him with sheer stubborn drive to get him to toss his head back and moan, you wanted to see him unhinged too. Your eyelashes flutter, as his hands remove themselves from your face, and they move to your hips to help you out. But the building tightness and demanding need in your cunt was growing louder, hotter, completely undeniable. Your teeth sinking against his skin as you whimpered loudly, absolutely pathetically as you shifted faster, fucking against him harder.
“I-I’m so close,” you manage to moan out, and a sharp escape of air comes from his nose at that revelation.
Deku nods, his head moving so that his forehead rests against yours as he looks deep into your eyes. “I need you to look at the way your belly bulges while I fuck you before you cum, I want you to watch it bulge as you cum.”
You whimper, the strain in your neck almost insufferable as you peer down at your hastily exposed stomach, and you nearly faint at the pornographic, near-insane image of your stomach bulging with his hammering monster of a cock. And just like that, the tight heat in you snaps without a hitch, and you come tumbling down from the heights of your building orgasm. White heat and light spread through your body, your jaw slacking as you moan loudly, screaming his name as you convulse against him, body entirely limp. Deku, who was barely hanging by a strand, completely loses it when your core clenches like a vice against him.
Hot, thick ropes of cum spurt from his cock, his heavy, shaking gasps the only thing you can hear as he fucks into you once, twice more for good measure he collapses onto his forearms above you. It’s hot, almost too hot as he lays on top of you, the sticky fluid of his cum radiating against your already blazing walls, and for a bit, there’s silence.
Deku is the first to move afterward, and you whine as he pulls his cock out of your sore, abused pussy. You make a noise of curiosity then fear as Deku spreads your legs even more open and moves so that his head is face to face with your cum filled pussy.
“What are you–?!” you screech as Deku takes a lick out of your dripping cunt.
“Fuck, this does taste good,” Deku smirks as he once again licks your overstimulated pussy and you sob. “Besides, who said we were done?”
.
.
.
.
.
bonus!
“Everyone, this is my girlfriend y/l/n y/n!” Izuku happily introduced you to his group of friends.
“What the hell?!” Bakugou screamed, thrusting a finger at you and all you did was laugh.
So much for not being stubborn, huh.
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⤑ made-up love song v (m).
Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.
Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…
pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, fluff, smut; a shit ton of kissing, oral (f), seokjin likes eye contact, slight overstimulation, he also seems to have a slight potty mouth when turned on, romantic sex, protected sex, shower scene, oral (m), this chapter is basically just sex, enjoy! (yes, the dilf dick is b i g) lingerie described found here for the visuals ~ words; 9,572
↪︎ chapter index
chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)
Saturday couldn’t come soon enough. You were like a little kid at the lead up to Christmas. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited for something. Actually, on second thoughts, you couldn’t think of a time you were this excited for anything, period. And all over the prospect of sleeping with Seokjin, and definitely not in the innocent way… He had in no way explicitly stated that you’d be having sex this week, but the insinuation was heavy in the air. Everything leading up to this moment was suggesting come Saturday night you would not be sat in front of Seokjin’s 75” television watching boxsets…
On the morning of you decided to pack a few things in a small case. You definitely planned on returning home in the day if needed or bored while Seokjin was at work, but the essentials were required: underwear, pyjamas, a few outfits, toiletries and skincare, your iPad, miscellaneous chargers. Soojung on the other hand was acting like you were never coming back…
“I’m going to miss you.” She whined, having been hovering around you as you packed. “Leaving me alone with smelly Tae.”
In a bid not to be alone in the evenings she’d invited her smelly boyfriend over for the week, but although she sounded irked it was all just an act. God knows what they’d get up to while you were gone, you dreaded to think. On second thoughts, maybe it would be best to stay at Seokjin’s place all week… You had no clue what you’d walk in on in your own home.
“I won’t be gone the whole week. Besides, we can meet up for lunch and stuff.” You often visited her at the department store, perusing the food court until it was time for her lunch break. You weren’t secluded from the whole world while away. What did she think was happening?
She helped you fold your clothes in momentary silence, deep in thought it seemed. “What if you love it there and want to stay permanently Dilf mansion?”
You scoffed immediately, taking the small pile of t-shirts from her to pack away. “Soo, way to jump the gun.” You’d been dating barely six weeks, hadn’t even had sex yet, moving in together was number 1 on the highly unlikely list. Although, sliding in a couple of pairs of flats into the top pocket of your case and zipping it up, you hummed in consideration. “Dilf mansion does have a ring to it though…”
Soojung’s attention was on another pile of clothing now – one you would be wearing this evening to leave for Seokjin’s house. Her fingertips brushed along the delicate baby blue lace of your lingerie, sitting on top of the pile and she looked up at you and grinned wickedly. “You’re going to knock his socks off with this.”
You and her had spent yesterday browsing the mall with a very important task. To decide on the most perfect lingerie set. Knowing Seokjin for a while know, you’d noticed he had an inclination for the colour blue, so your chosen piece had to be a winner – practically see-through, littered in beautiful lace flowers. You were well and truly prepared for tonight, you were a woman on a mission.
“His Dilf socks,” you corrected your best friend, both of you instantly exploding into a fit of giggles.
Arin had left with her grandparents this morning, and as much as Seokjin was eager to get this weekend started and see you immediately, he actually had a few things he needed to take care of at work. It wasn’t until around 5pm that you got into your car to make the short journey, Soo waving you off proudly like you were about to attend your graduation. You were honestly quite calm given the circumstances, although one look at Seokjin as he stepped out the front door to take your case and all inner composure was lost. You were one big ball of excitement, most of it flurrying around in the pit of your stomach. Yet you kept cool on the outside, grinning at the handsome man in front of you despite your lingerie burning marks into your skin.
And handsome he was today, (as if he wasn’t every day), his dark hair parted in the centre of his forehead naturally, his eyes crinkling as he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. You tasted a hint of mango on his mouth, an obvious sheen to his plump lips, and you presumed he’d applied some chapstick before you’d arrived – the chapstick you’d bought him not too long ago after he’d complained of cracked lips to you on the phone one night.
“Hey,” he greeted softly, his arms around your waist, body pressed snuggly into yours.
“Hey yourself,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around his neck, gazing into one another’s eyes before you lightly teased him. “Are we going to stay out here all night?”
Chuckling heartily, he reached behind you, lifting your case with ease. “Let’s go put this in my room.”
You’d never once stepped foot onto the upper level of his house before, so you were very observant on your way to his bedroom, eyes catching art pieces (you noticed numerous of Arin’s) and photos along the walls, light fixtures, as well as the odd plant here and there. You had to walk two flights of stairs to get to your destination, one average in length, the other shorter, veering off to the left of the corridor to reach a landing leading into his bedroom. You remembered what he’d said about changing and designing his bedroom himself, so you were very curious as to what it looked like inside. Yet still, the sight of it stunned you to brief silence.
His was the largest bedroom in the house, the master bedroom if you were being fancy, but in your opinion it was more like a mini home in itself. All it needed was a kitchen and you would be good to go. It smelt just like him – of his cologne and the recognisable vanilla scent his house seemed to waft of every time you visited. The walls were warm grey, décor similar with dashes of cream and gold. The bed matched the whole vibe of the room – insanely large, and you could already tell it was going to be the comfiest thing you’d ever slept on. Directly opposite, but a long way away, were a sofa and love seat sat around a TV hooked to the wall above a stunning fireplace. There were two sets of double windows, from the ceiling to the wooden floor, dark grey drapes open – not that it mattered. Seokjin’s house was out-of-the-way, no chance of being seen. All you were met with as you looked down, was a small patch of garden you hadn’t seen before, plain and simple, but very beautiful. Tranquil.
To the left of the room a door opened into another, perhaps a quarter of the size – his closet, and you followed him inside, still pretty much lost for words. He said there was no point putting your belongings away tonight, you could do it tomorrow, but he’d saved a drawer for you and there was an empty section of hanging space you could use too. There was also a dressing table you could put to good use, because he sure didn’t, and then he whisked you away into the bathroom, which was probably the most beautiful room in the house. Everything was warm marble in colour. A separate bath and shower (both gigantic) and double sinks.
“I got you a robe,” Seokjin pointed out, and you followed his gaze to behind the door, two fluffy white robes hooked to the wall.
Oh, boy. You could get used to this.
.
.
Seokjin ordered takeout for dinner – from an Indian restaurant Namjoon kept raving about apparently. With the amount he ordered you could have sworn he was feeding a whole party, not just the two of you. You were stuffed in no time, curling up on the sofa with a glass of red wine as Seokjin loaded the dishwasher. He still hadn’t cooked an actual meal for you, and when he joined you, of course you reminded him. This week he was preparing dinner for you one night, and that was final. You needed to see what Chef Kim had in him – even if he insisted his skills were long forgotten.
You cuddled as you watched a movie, which more often than not meant you’d start to become sleepy – just ask Soojung – but tonight was different. You were wide awake and practically thrumming with excitement. You were begging for the movie credits an hour before they were due, and when they finally popped up your heart started to beat harder in anticipation. It was nearing 11pm. Your lingerie was still burning welts into your skin…
Seokjin kissed the top of your head, your back pressed into his chest where you’d been snuggled into him, legs across the sofa, for the duration of the night. One of his arms was crossed around your front, the other free to drink his wine as he propped his feet up on the glass topped coffee table. You could really get used to this.
“What did you think?” He hummed, reaching forward to place his glass on a coaster. You grabbed his hand, not wanting him to leave you and he chuckled, quickly resuming position to now loop both arms around your shoulders, pressing you further into the warmth of his body.
“I enjoyed,” you replied with a small shrug. In all honesty it would’ve been a great movie if you hadn’t been so distracted.
You felt him lower his head, breath hot against your ear as he spoke. “I’m glad you didn’t fall asleep on me.” You giggled as he started to kiss the column of your neck, his barely there presses of his lips tickling you. Yet still you pushed into his hold, letting your head fall back. He took the opportunity to suck your earlobe between his lips, eliciting a sweet sigh from you. “I really can’t wait to spend this entire week with you.” He whispered.
You tried to keep your voice as uninvolved as possible – which was a lot harder when he now had your earlobe between his teeth. “Eh. I’m so-so over it.”
“Y/N!” He scolded playfully, groaning a laugh as he lifted his head away. “Stop. Now’s not the time for joking around.”
“I’m sorry,” you giggled, latching onto his hands.
“Face me,” he murmured almost suddenly. “Let me kiss you properly.”
His kisses were gentle and loving, his hands cupping your face as you leaned into him, hands placed across his hard chest. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt tucked into some black pants, he’d looked irresistible all night. He pulled away slowly, lips upturned almost drunkenly. “What’s that grin for?”
Seokjin’s gaze flicked from your lips to your eyes repeatedly as he replied, thumbs massaging circles into your cheeks. “I’m just very happy. Is that allowed?”
Giggling, you pressed your mouth to his, wrapping your palms around his neck to pull him in closer. He hummed loudly – indulgently, and let you lick into his mouth, his own hands slipping down to your neck and down your torso, gripping your middle. Your chest was flush to his and you welcomed the heat of his body. You were happy too. It had been a long time since you’d last felt this content, and tonight you’d realised just how lovely it was to be able to lounge with Seokjin and be in his company so casually, so naturally like this. You would become spoiled this week, but you couldn’t feel too worried right now.
Breaking away again, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but your mouth was a greedy thing, finding its way down his neck and across his throat as he leaned his head against the back of the sofa, his breathing shallow as he let you wonder. His fingers brushed up and down your back distractedly, until he seemed to remember what he wanted to tell you. “Hey,” he whispered, breath catching in his throat when you pinched your teeth into his Adam’s apple softly. “Hey, stop for a moment. There was something I wanted to say before…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the very obvious direction of his sentence, and as much as you wanted to nosedive straight into that pool, you pulled back to look into his eyes, waiting patiently.
He straightened his back and you eased off him a little, finding his fond smile contagious. “I’ve enjoyed these past few weeks so much.” He began, sincerity in his tone . “I know I’m not old old by any means but dating you has made me feel like I’m young again. I mean, grinding in the middle of a bar is something I didn’t even do back in my college days.”
“I fail to believe that,” you laughed.
“Really,” he insisted, looking amused. “I was a nerd. A handsome one, but a nerd nonetheless.” Before you could roll your eyes he was continuing. “What I’m trying to say is that, I really like you, Y/N.” His fingers played with the ends of your hair lovingly. “You know that already. Shit, I’m crazy about you. Just hearing your voice makes my day better. No matter how short a time we spend together, even if it’s just on the phone to say goodnight, I feel happy – I feel relaxed.” He paused to take a breath before moving to cup your face with one hand. “No matter how stressed I am you make it better by just existing.”
“…Seokjin,” you murmured, a little lost for words at his declaration.
He chuckled warmly, tops of his cheeks tinged somewhat rosy. “Too cheesy?”
You shook your head adamantly, reaching for his face as well. “Not at all. I’m crazy about you too.” His face lit up instantly and you couldn’t help but kiss him. “I’m so happy we met,” you confessed against his mouth. “I don’t want this summer to be over.”
“It’s not over yet,” he laughed. “We still have time to make it even better.” You wanted that more than anything. Finding it difficult to keep away from your lips, he practically had to tear himself away. He was out of breath. “I know saying this out loud is silly given everything, but… Let’s make this official.”
Your heart started somersaulting. You felt like you were in high school again, over the moon because Kim Rowoon had asked you to prom. Only this was better than that – much, much better. Linking your arms around Seokjin’s neck you tilted your head to the side, a grin unable to keep off your face. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Mr. Kim?”
“What do you say?” He sounded hopeful and soft.
You hummed out loud, thinking hard. “Can I get back to you? 3 to five business days seems about right.” You immediately squealed as you finished your sentence, Seokjin’s hands finding their way around your butt to tug you forward. You gripped onto his shoulders with the surprise.
“Too bad because I’ve already been calling you my girlfriend at the office.”
You didn’t have a chance to reply, the hard press of his lips against yours knocking you senseless. You found yourself in his lap not long after, fingers dragging through his hair as you clung to him, mouths moving in gradual urgency until you began to feel out of breath. Your tongues seemed to grow more daring, intent, as your soft moans mingled with his quiet groans. You hadn’t quite found yourself in this position before, usually moulded to the soft leather but this time you had Seokjin pinned tight, a heat that was quickly becoming unbearable burning between your bodies, and his hands running up and down your back didn’t help.
Each brush of his fingertips had your skin prickling with warmth, dizzying your mind, and when you felt him brush against the curve of your left breast you leaned forward into his touch, desperate for more. Seokjin grunted, encouraged by your action as he cupped the soft flesh, his thumb grazing your nipple which hardened from the touch. Your kiss turned a lot more frenzied after that, Seokjin roaming your body with confidence, his unoccupied hand cupping your butt to rock you against his crotch.
He was hard. You’d felt it stiffening ever since you’d climbed into his lap, but now he was solid, flesh pressing (probably painfully) against his pants, and feeling emboldened you lifted your hips, hovering over him for your hand to slot in between your bodies, cupping his erection firmly. He stiffened under your grasp, his breath hitching and you took that moment to drag your tongue along his, teasing him as you slowly started to stroke him above his slacks. He felt thick and rigid between your fingers, pulsing erratically against your hold, and he broke away from your mouth, head falling back as a loud, drawn-out groan slipped from his throat. You gazed at him – eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, mouth parted as he breathed shallowly – and took a mental picture. You wanted to remember this moment forever. He looked gorgeous, basking in pleasure and you wanted to pleasure him more. It was an urge so strong you practically dived on him, mouth slamming into his. He soon gained his bearings, kissing you just as wildly as his hands groped your body.
“Do you – mm, do you want – mm – to take this upstairs?” He asked against your lips, fingers currently digging into the soft flesh of your ass. The veins in his neck were visible, his desperation for you obvious, and you pulled away from the kiss to nod rapidly. If he didn’t get you upstairs soon you’d surely explode.
You let out a little squeak as you suddenly found yourself in the air, safely held up by Seokjin. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him as he began to make the brisk walk to the hallway and towards the staircase. “Oh, my god,” you muttered, laughing as you realised he was about to carry you bridal style all the way up the stairs.
“What?” He laughed back, his eyes twinkling warmly. Your heart melted at the sight and you leaned in to kiss him, uncaring that you both may fall backwards and break your necks.
“I may have forgotten about the amount of stairs in this goddamn house,” he panted lightly once you’d made it past the first set.
“Put me down then,” you giggled.
“Never,” he sang out, pecking you on the mouth sweetly.
Once in his bedroom, he placed you down, closing the door behind you before caging you against it, kissing you like he hadn’t seen you for months. You keened into his touch, whole body hot and ready for him, but in the end you couldn’t keep up with his mouth. He’d never kissed you like this, he was a man possessed, you physically felt weak at the knees and you clung to him, moaning softly when his mouth fell to your neck.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he confessed against the wet skin, fresh waves of arousal washing through your body. His voice was an octave lower, gruff and nothing like you’d heard before. “I can’t contain myself knowing we’re going to be alone for a whole week.”
“What do you plan on doing to me?” You laughed weakly, but to be honest, the time for wisecracks were gone. You were hanging on by a thread, this close to begging him to tear your clothes off.
Cupping your neck he pulled away to look you in the face. His pupils were blown out, more black than the warm brown you were used to. The tops of his cheeks were tinged red, his own arousal very evident, and when he replied he sounded as sincere as ever. “Anything you want me to.”
Okay, if he carried on like this, he’d mess up your plan good and proper. He was rude. Very rude. And hot, and sexy, and yours. God, you really wanted him. Your body was screaming for him. You pressed a kiss to his mouth, and then another, and another, determined not to get yourself glued there no matter how much he tried to drag his tongue along the seam of your lips. “L-let me freshen up,” you managed to get out, voice shaky as you (with great difficultly) held him away at arm’s length.
At your words, he slowly made sense of them, his eyes refocussing before he gave you a short nod and politely stepped back. “Ok.”
Before you could be tempted by that mouth of his once more, you made a dash for his bathroom, closing the door behind you. Immediately you began to rush out of your clothes, not even bothering to fold them properly because you were in such a hurry. You’d had this planned all night, wanting him to be rendered speechless, and staring at your lingerie cladded self in the giant mirror he had hooked to the wall, you reminded yourself to take a breather. You were going to walk out there calmly, the epitome of composed as you sought out his reaction. With one last look at your reflection, you walked towards the door and opened it.
Seokjin was sat on the edge of the bed, legs sinfully spread (but oh so casually, which just made it hotter), but he wasn’t looking your way, his eyes darting around the room a little as if he was desperately trying to find some patience. Knowing he was riled and aroused made your head even more dizzy, and stopping by the doorframe, you called out to him.
He looked your way instantly, eyes bulging even quicker. Actually they practically popped out on storks as he took in the sight of you in the baby blue underwear. He seemed paralysed.
“Hey,” you smiled, all of a sudden feeling a little shy as you waited for him to say something.
It took another moment, but then he was swallowing hard, wetting his mouth as his lips parted. “Oh, shit.”
You smiled victoriously, those simple two words satisfying you fully.
He outstretched his hand, voice thick and raspy as he beckoned you forward. “Come here.”
You obeyed, closing the distance between you quickly and Seokjin wasted no time clasping his hands around your hips as you stood in front of him, between his legs. If felt so good to finally have his hands on your bare skin. His touch was warm, soothing, but most of all, electrifying. Goosebumps spread as he dragged his fingers up and down your sides, his eyes drowning at the sight of you.
“Do you like it? It’s not too much?” You asked, looking down at him. You glowed under his gaze.
He lifted his head up, arching an eyebrow. “Do I like it? Is that supposed to be a genuine question?” He sounded just as baffled as he looked and it made you giggle. His fingers started to play with the thin waistband of your panties before delicately outlining the lace flower petals on your ass. The sensation made you shiver, and a small smile grew on his face as he watched you. “You look gorgeous.” He leaned forward, beginning to place small, gentle kisses on your abdomen and your skin rippled, butterflies appearing. “You’re beautiful.” He murmured, hot puffs of air hitting you, heating you up even more.
You curled your hand in his hair, needing something to latch on to as you watched him mouth even more kisses along your flesh. The point of his tongue dipped into your navel scandalously, and as you gasped he looked up with his eyes and smirked, tongue now swirling invisible patterns along your stomach. The sight sent you a little gooey, legs feeling weak again as your heart thrummed inside your chest.
“However… I was looking forward to undressing you…” He teased.
You teased right back. “You still have the lingerie.”
He couldn’t handle that, growling quietly against your stomach, his hands rounding your ass to mould the flesh in his palms firmly. He’d soon tear the panties if he kept that up. Obviously the idea of stripping you naked sent him feral – something you’d remember well for this week. You yelped when you felt him sink his teeth into your hip bone, pulling him closer to your body by his hair, desperate for more. It was when you looked behind him, did you notice the pillar candles aflame on the two nightstands that sat either side of his bed. They weren’t burning before you’d entered the bathroom. You were sure of it.
“Seokjin, did you light candles?” You asked without realising, changing the atmosphere slightly, but you didn’t mind too much, not when the image of Seokjin rushing to burn candles for the ~ambience~ was too damn adorable.
He lifted from your skin, looking up at you. “Um, yeah.” He sounded a little awkward before he chuckled softly. “I thought against the slow R&B music.”
“Good choice,” you laughed, fingers rubbing small circles into the nape of his neck. That would’ve been hilarious.
“I’m totally out of my depth here…” He admitted, nudging you backwards a little to stand in front of you. He kept his hands on your waist, ducking down to be eye level with you. “I haven’t done this in a while.”
“Snap,” you grinned, rubbing your nose against his as you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close. You kissed him deeply, feeling happy and relaxed. There wasn’t a nerve in sight and despite his honest words you knew he was at ease too.
Your hands slipped over his shoulders and down his toned chest, stopping just before the waistband of his pants to tug at his t-shirt, untucking him. “You have to get naked too.” You whined, detaching your mouths. “I’m feeling sorely underdressed.”
He let out an airy chuckle, immediately reaching for the neck of his shirt to tug it over his head. Your hands greedily started to explore his torso, running your fingers along his faintly lined abs before trailing up his hard chest. He shivered as you brushed against his nipples, a tiny laugh slipping from his throat.
“What?” You laughed.
“’Tickles.” He mumbled, leaning in for another kiss. You wrapped your arms around him, loving the feeling of his bare chest against yours, but soon enough you got impatient again, hands reaching for the button of his pants. You popped it open and proceeded to unzip him, at least giving his poor erection some reprieve. It had been pressed up against your lower stomach for quite some time, still rigid but as patient as ever.
He took over, stepping back to push them past his hips, his lips still attached to yours. “Mm–Bed.” He hummed, taking you by the hips to switch places. You pulled away and sat down, watching him kick his pants off his feet and your eyes zoned in on the curve of his erection, hidden by his Armani underwear – black with a red waistband. His thighs were perfectly toned, his skim glowing in the soft lighting. He looked good enough to eat and your heart skipped a couple of beats as he walked forward.
You laid back against the mattress, instantly groaning at how soft it was. You practically sunk inside. “Oh, damn this is comfy.” Rolling onto your side as Seokjin climbed on the bed, you hid your smirk. “I could just go to sleep…”
“I don’t think so,” he told you, hovering over you. His hand smacked you ass causing you to squeal, and you flipped onto your back as he took the moment to cage you under his large body.
This time his mouth completely bypassed your lips to kiss your chest, pressing into the indents of your collarbones before slipping to the tops of your breasts. He kissed the fabric, wetting it as his tongue traced the delicate flower petals and you gripped onto his shoulders with a moan as he encased one nipple between his lips, sucking gently, soaking the lace a darker shade of blue. “You drive me crazy,” he quietly panted, his hands reaching behind your back, arched into the pleasure he was giving you. “May I?” He asked, fingers finding the clasp of your bra. You nodded hastily, moaning louder when he lifted his head to kiss your lips. His motions were firm, tight pleasure filled grunts leaving him as he freed you of your lingerie.
Immediately he pulled away, dark eyes soaking in your bare chest like it was the most stunning thing he’d ever seen. Your back arched further when his warm palms cupped your breasts, spreading a heat down your spine that settled between your legs. “You’re beautiful,” he awed, looking into your eyes, causing a sweet moan to fall from your lips.
He moulded the soft flesh gently, before brushing his thumbs over your hardened nipples. That had you moaning again, pleasure you hadn’t felt in a long time rocketing up your body. It felt amazing to be touched by him, and you were greedy for more. He was on the same page, his lips replacing his thumbs, his tongue flicking against the sensitive bud that had you sighing out his name, your fingers threaded in his hair. He hummed against you, squeezing your breasts and pressing his body into yours – once – his erection pressing into your thighs, before he pulled away, kissing down your sternum before licking into your navel, his hands rubbing up and down the outside of your thighs.
His lips avoided your clothed heat, which was frustrating to say the least. You were so eager by now, unsure if you could take much more kissing before you exploded, but Seokjin was a man determined – determined on kissing every inch of your body it seemed. He made it down one thigh before moving onto the next and as he got towards your knee you couldn’t help but giggle – it was beginning to tickle, but he didn’t stop, lips pressing down your calf.
“Seokjinn,” you whined.
He chuckled as he made his way back up the other leg, bending you at the knee before gently getting you to spread out for him. “What?” He murmured. Although you were distracted now, realising how aroused you had become, your underwear clinging to you desperately. He was kissing the inside of your thigh now, fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties and he was so close to where you wanted him you were trembling. He nosed his way to the apex of your thigh, groaning as he smelt you and then he was hastily tugging the lace down your legs, the last of your covering. Now you were totally naked in front of him, and he looked like he wanted to eat you up.
“What do you want me to do?” He asked, voice gruff. He sounded so sexy. His eyes were glued to your centre yet he didn’t touch. When you didn’t reply, they flickered to your face. “Y/N. Hm?”
You mind was a blur, you couldn’t think what to say, mainly because you wanted him to do anything and everything to you. You startled when he nosed the inside of your thigh, his hands sliding down your hips to grip the flesh underneath. “Taste you? Is that what you want?” He whispered, sending your insides somersaulting. He looked up as you nodded, and grinned. “You have to say it out loud, honey.”
The bastard. He was teasing you. Trying to get under your skin. Your forced yourself to speak. “Taste me.” He hummed in response, pressing his mouth to your hip bone. You raised your tone, more determined. “Seokjin. Taste me.”
He dived in. Placing gentle kisses up your slit, his lips ever so slightly brushing your clitoris. You moaned quietly, letting your eyes close as you laid back against the softest pillows you had ever felt. Your fists clutched the sheets, hips raising up when you felt the first wash of his tongue. Your breath caught, warmth turning you gooey. “Taste so good,” he mumbled into you – so quietly you wondered if you’d imagined it.
You enjoyed the sensation for a few moments, quietly moaning intermittently before you felt the urge to take a peek. Opening your eyes and looking down your body, you saw Seokjin watching you, his eyes hungry. You quickly looked away, the back of your hand coming up to cover your mouth as a groan left you, your legs falling wider apart. The scene had been erotic but in all honesty you were feeling a little shy. It had been a long time since you’d had sex, so the idea of someone watching you so intimately made you feel funny.
Seokjin was there to reassure you though. “Don’t look away, Y/N,” he murmured, pulling back to get your attention. “I want to see your face.” You looked again, watching him kneel low as he ran a hand up your thigh. His lips shone with your arousal. He looked beautiful.
You moaned lowly when you felt him rub a finger at your entrance, and he watched you intently as he pushed inside, feeling you squeeze around the intrusion. He slowly began to curve the digit, pressing against your inner walls. Committed to pleasuring you, he watched your every reaction and this time you didn’t look away.
“Does it feel good?” He asked, in awe as you writhed around on the bed, chasing the feeling.
You moaned as you replied yes, only to jerk upwards when his thumb began to rub tiny circles against your clit. “Seokjin!”
He liked that. Hearing you cry his name. He wanted to hear it more, dropping low to replace his thumb with his lips. He sucked the sensitive bud of nerves between them, flicking the tip of his tongue against it rapidly, earning him another cry, and he moaned gruffly against you, the vibrations shooting up your body. His free hand moved to your lower stomach, palm hot against your skin as he applied gentle pressure, holding you down.
Oh god, you were a mass of pleasure, mind addled, unable to think straight. Not when he was making you feel so good. He slipped a second finger inside of you, his eyes flicking up to yours and you made it your life’s mission not to look away, chest heaving up and down as you squeezed around his digits. Your orgasm was building, pressure below getting harder to control – harder to ignore. Seokjin guessed it, breaking eye contact to bury his face further into your heat. The image was almost crude, so were the noises, but the most beautiful kind of crude. A crude that had you desperate for more. You jerked into him, rolling into each snap of his wrist, the pads of his fingers grazing your g-spot.
“Want to make you cum,” he rasped, before sucking your clit back into his mouth and sucking determinedly. You groaned, head flinging back into the pillow, eyes clenched closed, a hand coming out to grip the roots of your hair as you rolled your hips into his face, giving into the pleasure well and truly. This orgasm was going to blow your brains out – and it did.
In the end you had you to clamp your legs around Seokjin’s head in a bid to get him to stop, pleasure still rolling through your body as you panted like crazy. He eased from your clit, tongue dragging down your folds instead, meeting his fingers that were almost locked inside of your pulsing walls. With a grunt, he removed himself, kissing your mound one last time before he stopped. With his hands on your thighs as he kneeled between them, he watched you adoringly.
“Oh, my god,” you panted weakly. Unsure what else you could say to describe what you’d just experienced. Why had he not been doing that from the get-go? From as soon as he’d reversed into your car?!
That was all he needed anyway, your simple vocalisation, because no sooner had the words exited your mouth, he dived on you, kissing your mouth, your cheeks, your eyes, your forehead – whatever he could reach. “You’re amazing,” he gushed, his lips and chin still glistening with your wetness. You could taste yourself on him. It was glorious. His hands roamed your body like it was all new to him. As if he hadn’t been it for the last forty minutes or so. “Fuck. I can’t stop touching you.”
Your stomach flipped around, the sound of him cursing sending you dizzy. You licked into his mouth, kissing him messily, your hands raking up and down his back, before they settled on his ass. You gave the meat a squeeze and he grunted, pushing his crotch into yours. He was painfully hard – and desperate. (You hadn’t missed the way he’d been rutting into the mattress while going down on you…)
“Seokjin,” you breathed, moving your head to the side to get your words out. His tongue carried on going, swirling across your cheek. You liked getting messy with him. You tugged at his underwear. “Get naked. Need you.”
“You don’t need a minute?” He asked, tongue now in your ear. He gyrated his hips into yours, grunting as he did so.
You shook your head. “Like hell I do.”
He laughed at that – breathlessly, but it was something. He moved, rushing out of the last bit of clothing he had on, and your eyes drunk up the sight. The missing piece. His dick was long and thick – smooth and warm once you got your hands on him. Hovering over you, you ran your fist up and down him steadily, just enjoying getting to touch him. He dropped to your side, pecking your lips before he pulled back. “I need to be inside you.”
You continued to touch him, running your fingers along the rigid flesh as he stretched behind him to pull a box from the nightstand drawer.
It caught your attention right away. You raised both eyebrows as you let go of his length. “A hundred condoms?”
He chuckled, sounding a little sheepish. “Too enthusiastic?”
“Do you want to kill me?” Death by (Dilf) dick wasn’t how you’d expected to go, if you were being honest.
“Not particularly,” he shrugged, pulling one of the packet. (Discarding the box to the floor.) He turned back to you with an impish grin. “That’s why I bought the bumper pack of condoms.”
You rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest, but he grabbed your hand and kissed you, distracting you successfully. “No, if I’m being truthful,” he continued, letting you steal another kiss. “They were better value for money. I’m partial to a bargain.”
“You’re unbelievable,” you scoffed.
“You should’ve seen me purchasing them, I have never been more embarrassed in my life.”
“Seokjin, you’re a near 40 year old man,” you judged openly, however on second thoughts – “But yeah, I’d be embarrassed buying a 100 condoms too.”
Seokjin shuddered, looking mortified. “Just the thought of the cashier knowing I was going to get lucky…”
You arched an eyebrow. “Get lucky?”
He looked comically caught out, eyes wide for a second before he shook his head. “Less talking now…” And then he was kissing you again…
Between rushed mouths and eager hands, he managed to tear the condom packet, pulling out the latex to slip it over his erection. Kneeling over you, you could see perfectly when he attempted to roll it the wrong way up. “Oh, shit. Ignore that,” he muttered, fixing it immediately.
You stifled a laugh. “Ignored.”
He gave himself a tug, making sure everything was secure and your mouth practically watered. “Just warning you now, this may be a three pumps and Bam! kinda thing,” he informed you as he laid over you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I am so turned on.”
You giggled, wrapping your arms around his middle. “I don’t mind. Just want you.”
“I want you more.” He rubbed his nose against yours.
Hitting his ass, you shot him a look. “It’s not a competition.”
“Isn’t it?” He asked, pretending to be confused.
“Quit stalling,” you whined. “Let’s have sex.”
“Let’s,” he agreed with a warm smile. You turned gooey instantly.
Pressing his knees to the mattress, he hovered over you, wrapping his hand around his dick to direct it between your legs. He rubbed the length up and down your slit, flesh heavy and hot, coating himself in your arousal. The sensation was good for you, but for him it seemed to blow his mind, eyes practically rolling back into his skull as he grunted. He stopped at your entrance, looking up at you as he slowly pushed the head inside.
You shifted under him, trying to stay patient. You wanted nothing more than to be stuffed full of him, but realistically you needed to take things slow. You held onto his shoulders, silently telling him to continue. He let out a strained groan as he slipped in deeper, your walls snug and hot around him, begging him for more. Inch by glorious inch, you kept on taking him, until you were filled up just right.
“Shit,” you uttered, looking up at the ceiling as you adjusted to the sensation.
“Was that a curse?” He asked, voice tight but greatly amused as he nosed your throat.
“Hardly.” Your voice was barely there, desperate for him to move.
“I’d still class it as swearing.” He was holding his breath, yet still felt the need to be a smarty-pants. You moved your hips practically a centimetre and he grunted. He didn’t want you to win though. “I want more. Maybe not tonight, but I will turn your mouth filthy by the end of the week…”
A moan tore from your throat uncontrollably, and you couldn’t look at his face because you knew you’d be met with a gloating smirk. You steeled yourself, nose in the air. “Game on.”
Seokjin laughed obnoxiously, but couldn’t wait any longer, slowly dragging out of you and then pushing back in. His breath hitched – so did yours, and he carried on, propping himself up with one hand as he gained a steady rhythm.
“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned, watching your face.
“You too.” You clung to him, feeling your face heat up and ended up dropping your gaze.
“Honey, don’t be shy,” he whined, reaching to cup your face, in the process pressing more of his body weight into you. You clutched him tighter, wanting him as close as ever. “I like watching you. Knowing I’m making you feel good.” His mouth on yours now, you sunk into the kiss, moaning softly as his thrusts got quicker. You met each one, rolling into him.
It wasn’t long before he was on your throat, kissing and nipping the skin, his hands exploring the rest of your body. Your ran your fingers through his hair, sighing sweety when his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples, slipping the hard flesh into his mouth to suck.
Face pressed against your chest, his movements became a little erratic, breathing heavy until he was panting. You moaned along, loving how he was making you feel. “You are honestly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He awed, voice raspy.
You let out a weak chuckle, running your fingers through the ends of his hair. “Of course you would say that with a face full of my boobs.”
He laughed too, kissing his way back up your chest, his hands pressing into the pillow as he leaned in for your mouth. You stared at one another for a little while, your moans mingling together, and it was the most intimate moment you’d ever shared with anyone.
“Good?” He asked. You were unsure if he was asking how you were or if you were enjoying yourself, but regardless, the answer was the same.
“Really good,” you smiled, running your hand down his chest.
His thrust were getting messier, less controlled, less strategic, so it was no surprise when he had a confession to tell you, kissing you once again. “I’m-I’m… close.”
He’d exceeded the predicted three pumps at least… “Hey, you can go a little harder,” you whispered against his mouth.
He grunted, slacking at your words but quickly got a hold of himself. Each snap of his hips got firmer and harsher, fucking – because there was no other way to describe it – you into the expensive bed. Your cries of pleasure came out stunted and unsteady, his own grunts louder now, gruffer as he chased his end.
“Seokjin –!” Your hands fell to his ass, holding him tight as he pounded into you. “Don’t stop,” you encouraged, which seemed to tip him over the edge – quickly.
“Fuck. Coming…”” His face fell into the crook of your neck, panting as he tried to keep moving, and then he froze, his body hot, partly sweaty, a long drawn-out groan sounding against your ear as he came.
You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him to you because in all honesty, you didn’t want to let him go. You could feel his heart beating against your chest rapidly, even after he’d partially caught his breath, and you knew yours was beating just as fast. You kissed his shoulder when he kissed yours, and slowly he lifted his head, turning to give you a drunken smile. He sighed contently. “That honestly beats any orgasm I’ve ever given myself lately.”
“I should hope so!” You burst out laughing, not quite expecting those to be his first words and he immediately joined you before hugging you tight.
.
.
You awoke naturally, light from outside peeking through the loosely closed drapes. Seokjin had his arm around you, his body curved into yours, and you could tell by his breathing he was still very much sound asleep. Proving your point, he grunted softly, rolling onto his back, his grip on you loosening. Carefully, you turned around to face him, taking in the sight of his sleeping form. His lips seemed to be pouted, eyebrows furrowed slightly – of course he had an adorable sleeping face. Of fricking course.
The bed sheets were pushed down, draped across his pelvis, one hip sticking out, while his broad chest and toned stomach laid bare. You found yourself smiling, insanely happy, wondering if you’d been a saint in a past lifetime – you had to have been. How else had you hit the jackpot? A kind-hearted, beautiful man with a banging body? You’d struck big.
Wanting to leave him sleep longer, you got up quietly, needing to pee, not worrying that you were butt naked, and as you left the bathroom, you moved to the closet (room) to fish for your phone in your purse. You’d left it there all evening yesterday, not wanting to be interrupted, and low and behold you had a bunch of notifications waiting for you on the screen. You got back into bed, getting comfy before you scrolled through them. Most were unimportant, news updates and social media notifications. You had a text from your mom reminding you to call your grandmother soon, one reminder regarding your phone bill going out tomorrow and then, from half an hour ago, a text message from your best friend. Why the hell was she up so early on a Sunday?!
Soojung (8:32am) Spill the details girl! How was Mr. Dilf 🥵👨🏻🍆💦
You snorted, pretty loudly, couldn’t help it, and when you realised you shoved a hand over your mouth, hoping you hadn’t woken your boyfriend (yes, it felt so good to finally use that word) up. You glanced over, but his eyes were still shut, a peaceful look on his face, so with a relieved inner sigh, you went back to your phone, wondering how you should reply. You had quite a lot to say, messaging her “the details” wouldn’t work. Maybe you could give her a summary? Until tomorrow when you could call her while Seokjin was at work. Maybe you could meet her for lunch. And who knew, you’d probably have more to tell her come then –
“Good morning, beautiful.”
You jumped when you heard Seokjin’s voice, his arm wrapping around you once more as he snuggled closer, encasing you in his body warmth.
“Seokjin,” you greeted, instantly shoving your phone onto the nightstand, face down. “Good morning.”
“Mmm.” He rubbed his face into the crook of your neck, burrowing his arm under the covers to touch your skin, hand cupping your waist. He was still sleepy, voice groggy. You settled into his hold, closing your eyes. With a kiss to the top of your shoulder, he spoke again. “What were you snorting at?”
Your eyes immediately flew open. He’d heard that? “Nothing,” you tried to reply casually.
He laughed, the throaty sound shooting up your body, leaving warmth in its wake. “Come on, something made you laugh.” He lifted his head, looking at you pointedly, plump lips pressed together, mouth curving up slightly. “You have to share, it’ll be rude not to.”
It took you a second to give in. “Fine.” It was probably time to let him know anyway. Soojung might try to kill you, but she couldn’t get you if you were gated in at Seokjin’s home… You reached for your phone and flashed the screen on, holding it out to him. “Soojung’s an idiot,” you sighed.
He delicately held the back of your hand, steadying the device so he could read the messages. A second later he was deeply amused, lips quirking before he let out a little laugh. “Has that been my nickname the entire time?”
“Maybe…” Amongst other things… They could wait till later though.
He hummed, trying to keep his expression casual, but you could tell by his eyes how amused (and smug) he was. “The emojis add a nice touch.”
You rolled your eyes, about to tell him to shut up, but immediately his lips were pressed against yours. He kissed you sweetly – which was all just an act. When he pulled away, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, tone arrogant. “So… how was Mr. Dilf?”
“Seokjin!” You exclaimed. This couldn’t be happening. He was just as bad as Soo and Taehyung.
Laughing loudly, he kissed you again, caging you under him smoothly. Your hands reached for his biceps, feeling them flex underneath you. “Was it good enough for a round two? Don’t expect me to keep my hands off you,” he told you, his fingers tickling your stomach as his face fell to your neck, kissing and biting the skin.
You began to laugh, squirming under him, but no matter how much you tried to free yourself it was impossible. “Stop,” you whined. “Seokjin, you’re tickling me!” He eased off with the tickling but his mouth only seemed to ramp up, his tongue licking up your throat. “You’re so sexy,” he groaned, meeting your gaze, and instantly laughed. “I love embarrassing you.”
You grumbled, realising you’d started to blush. “I’m not embarrassed,” you insisted. “I’m turned on.” Two could play at that game. Seokjin’s eyes widened comically, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.
“Yeah?” He murmured, getting a hold of himself, mouth ghosting over yours. You nodded, dragging your hands down his back to settle on his ass. You could feel his dick rousing between your thighs. It was so easy to get him. He was like putty in your hands.
“You’re okay though, mm?” He asked, tone softening as he stared into your eyes. “Did you enjoy last night?”
“I thought that was obvious,” you informed him, but his tenderness didn’t go ignored. God, you were really lucky. “I feel so happy,” you grinned, moving to clasp your arms around his neck. He grinned too, teeth on show, and then you couldn’t hold off any longer, kissing him eagerly.
“Fuck,” he breathed, after you’d just licked a strip up his jaw line. His hands clung to hips. “I want you in so many ways.”
You gave him a dangerous smirk. “We have all week, I’m sure you’ll be successful.”
Groaning, he seemed beside himself, skin hot and sweaty, his hair dishevelled, falling into his eyes, cheeks patched red. Finally, he settled on a decision. “Would you like to shower with me?”
“Okay,” you replied instantly, your excitement already tenfold, and suddenly you were in his arms, rising off the bed to be carried (naked) bridle style to the bathroom. “Seokjin!” You squealed, clinging onto him tightly, but all he did was laugh. You could get used to this.
His walk-in shower was grand, practically a separate wet room – two glass doors leading inside and a marbled tiled bench to the left with two panelled windows behind it. There were two showerheads – one large one attached to the ceiling and the other jutting out from the wall. Seokjin chose the centre one, knocking it on and enclosing you both in hot water. Warmth radiated from beneath your feet too – heated flooring, of course.
You spent the next ten minutes wrapped together kissing, hands exploring one another’s soapy bodies. It wasn’t long before there was a very obvious erection bobbing against your stomach. “Someone says hello again,” Seokjin hummed against your mouth, nipping your bottom lip before he broke away and chuckled. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been the cause of many an awkward boner.”
You laughed, hooking one arm around his neck. “I noticed.” Your other hand wrapped around his dick, the wetness of his skin making it easy to glide your fist along the veiny shaft. You gazed up at him, admiring the way he’d pushed his wet hair above his forehead. He looked incredibly handsome – so handsome, you were finding it hard to control yourself. “Was this one of your ways?” You murmured.
“Maybe,” he said with a smile, huffing out a little when your thumb grazed the sensitive slit across the head of his member.
“I have a better idea…” You whispered, pushing a little at his chest. “Sit.”
He obeyed, sitting on the bench while watching you wordlessly (but curiously), his eyes flashing when you moved to kneel in front of him. “Fuck,” he muttered, dick twitching in anticipation. You took him in your fist again, feeling oddly confident as you flicked out your tongue. It had been a long time since you’d sucked dick but you were more than ready.
You washed your tongue across the head, hearing him grunt above you, and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, sucking firmly around the tip. His hands instantly reached for your head, fingers carding through your hair. He groaned lowly, thighs tense, but when you started to jerk your fist along his shaft, he relaxed into the pleasure, murmuring your name.
“Okay, this idea seems better than mine,” he admitted, voice tight.
You hummed in agreement, vibrations travelling up his length which made him groan, fingers in your hair tightening. Taking him deeper, you washed and swirled your tongue as best you could around the thick flesh. Seokjin’s length was impressive, but you had all week to grow accustomed to it, for now, you had your hand, continuing to stimulate him with both that and your mouth. The water from the shower hit your back and calves, the heat beneath you making sure you didn’t grow cold.
“Should we go back to the bedroom?” Seokjin asked, sounding concerned, despite how good you were making him feel. A hand ran down your back soothingly. “Your knees will start aching.”
Pulling off him, a string of saliva that attached you breaking apart, you shook your head and ran your palm all the way up his length, twisting against the tip. He bucked into your hold. “It’ll be worth it.”
Seokjin let out a low growl, eyes dark. “Don’t say things like that.”
You smirked, spreading your saliva up and down him slowly before speeding up, concentrating on the head. Seokjin’s mouth was open, his breathing shallow, chest littered with red blotches, making it painfully obvious how aroused he was. You wanted to run your hands all over the muscular torso, mouth too – but that could wait. First of all, you wanted to make him cum.
“You have a pretty big dick. Has anyone ever told you that?” You purred, eyes flicking down to his crotch.
Seokjin grinned confidently, the hand in his hair reaching to cup your cheek. “You seemed to handle it very well last night.”
Oh. Heat exploded through your body, settling between your legs, and you took him back in your mouth, a hiss leaving his throat. He tapped your chin, gaining your attention. “Y/N, look at me,” he commanded softly.
And you did. You watched every bit of pleasure that flitted across his face as you continued to suck his dick, never breaking eye contact, even when he did; eyelids closed, face scrunched up as he came down your throat a few minutes later…
Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021
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for Damian Wayne Week 2021, day 5, prompt: ‘Mother and Son’ and ‘Brother’
Dick watches as Talia scours every inch of their cell. She has been doing that for almost three hours, now. Dick stopped way back at hour one. He knows why they’re here, knows exactly why it’s the two of them in this cell. Ra’s will get his way, whether they like it or not.
It brings back memories, to be honest. This is just like the first time he met Talia, except this time, instead of testing Bruce, Ra’s is testing Damian.
“Talia,” he finally says, “sit down. You know you’re not going anywhere.”
She scoffs. “Maybe you were raised to give up, Richard, but I was not. I will find a way out of here, and when I do, my father will have many things to answer to.”
Dick sighs. He doesn’t want to do this either, but he knows that even if they manage to get out, Ra’s will just try again. He’s like a cockroach, unable to be killed. Eventually, he will get what he wants, and this time, what he wants is to test Damian.
“And what are you going to do once you’re out?” Dick asks, trying to appeal to Talia’s logical side. “You know he’s just going to do it all over again. This time, it’s just a kidnapping. What if next time it’s worse? Do you want to do that to Damian? Better to just get it over with.”
Talia looks at him with venom in her eyes. He knows that it’s because she knows that he is right, and she is pissed about it.
“Fine,” she spits out. “But only because of Damian.”
She walks around the cell one more time, and then chooses the spot that is farthest away from Dick to sit down.
They spend several minutes that way, each lost in their own thoughts. Dick wonders what Talia is thinking about. He knows what he is thinking: the last time he saw Talia. The image of the Heretic, standing over Damian’s body with a bloody sword, swirls in his mind. He will never be able to forget it, no matter how many times he has hugged his little brother to convince himself that Damian is here, breathing and alive.
Finally, because he has always wanted to ask this to Talia, and because there is no better time and place than right now, with just the two of them in this cell and no lethal weapons between them, Dick says, “Why did you kill him, Talia?”
She turns her head towards him in an instant. He sees her eyes narrow, but Dick stands his ground. He needs to know this, because Damian may have accepted the fact that his mother sent out bounties for his head, may have accepted the fact that his mother sent a clone of himself to kill him, but Dick hasn’t.
“I didn’t kill him,” she snaps at him, but Dick doesn’t want her semantics.
“You sent a clone of him to kill him, Talia,” he snaps back. “You killed him.”
“I didn’t kill him!” she shouts. Dick watches as she takes in a few breaths, and then she whispers, “I didn’t mean to kill him.
“He… He wasn’t meant to kill Damian. He was supposed to follow orders, he was supposed to follow my orders,” she continues. “But then he…” She closes her eyes, placing her head back on the walls of the cells. “He was supposed to follow orders,” she finishes.
“The Heretic?” Dick asks.
Talia nods.
Suddenly, Dick understands. He knows about the Heretic, knows about Talia’s plans to create a perfect child, a child who would follow her every order. He also knows the lengths of what Talia would do to achieve that.
“He’s a human being too, Talia,” he finally says.
She sighs. “Yes. Yes, he was.”
They sit in silence again for a while, but the previous conversation only gave Dick more questions than answers. “I still don’t understand,” he tries again. “Even… even discounting what you did with Leviathan, you still hurt him. You said the Heretic was supposed to follow orders. Damian was too, wasn’t he?”
Damian, forcing himself to go on patrol even when he’s almost delirious from a fever. Damian, forcing himself not to flinch when he think he has done something wrong, because he knew that flinching would earn him an even worse punishment. Damian, not comprehending the fact that someone could love him just for who he is, and not for what he could do.
Dick doesn’t wait for an answer. He continues on. “I don’t understand how you can do that to a child, any child, much less your own.”
Talia looks back at him. “Do you think it’s easy being the daughter of the Demon?” she growls. “Life in the League is hard. Being a relative to the Demon’s Head is even harder.”
Dick frowns. That’s not the explanation he wanted— nothing would ever be an explanation he wanted, because he could not comprehend doing that to Damian— but it’s something. Something to build on.
“Is that why you do all of that?”
“I…” Talia sighs. She looks around the cell they’re in, and then seems to decide something. The tension in her body disappears, and she almost looks like she is melting into the wall behind her. “I bore him, you know,” she says. “I told him he was made in an artificial womb, but the only artificial thing about it is that it has been made and remade, again and again, with the Lazarus. Nine months, and more.” She smiles. “Even as a baby in the womb, he wants to have his way.”
Dick finds himself smiling back. He doesn’t know why Talia is talking about this, what purpose this conversation will have, but he senses that Talia is, for once, being honest about Damian with him. And he would never say no to baby stories of Damian.
“That does sound like Damian,” Dick says. “What did he do?”
“The average length of a pregnancy is thirty-nine weeks. He was with me for forty-two weeks. The doctor was about to induce labour when my water suddenly broke.”
“Not about to let anyone tell him what to do, huh?”
“That’s Damian,” Talia says, the smile on her face softer than anything Dick has seen before.
“Why did you tell him he was made in the artificial womb?” Dick prods.
She pauses, and, in an uncharacteristic display of honesty, says, “To stop his sentiment on me.”
“What?”
“Tell me, Richard. What has sentiment ever done for me?” She shakes her head. “Nothing but pain. I thought…”
“You could spare him that pain,” Dick finishes. “Didn’t work, huh?”
Talia goes back to looking at him with venom in her eyes. This time, however, the venom is of a different kind. It’s the kind of venoms that mothers will willingly spit out for their children, even as it hurts themselves.
“Obviously,” she says, in a way that is so reminiscent of Damian. It’s clear where Damian got those traits.
Dick waits for Talia to keep talking, but she is like Damian in this way too. Or, perhaps, more accurately, Damian is like her in this way. They both realize that they have said far too much, and stops. Thankfully, Dick is well-practiced in the art of coaxing answers out of Damian.
“You love him, don’t you?” he asks.
Talia bites her lips, war clear in her eyes. Or perhaps only clear for someone who has seen that exact same look in her son’s eyes far too many times. Finally, she spits out, “What do you think? His blood is my blood and his bones are my bones.”
Dick takes that in, and then says, “I think that I have never understood you, Talia. You say you love him, but then you control his body. But then you put a bounty on his head. And even if you said you didn’t mean for him to die, you still put him in that situation. How am I supposed to believe you love him when you did all of that?”
“I…” Talia sighs. “I might as well go all in and answer that. I’ve said far too much already.” She shakes her head. “But, a trade, if you will, Richard? A question for a question. An answer for an answer.”
Dick thinks about it for a moment, and then shrugs. What’s the worst that could happen? “Sure.”
“I did that out of… jealousy,” she says. “Or rage. Or madness. I don’t know. Or maybe I’m tired of being used by someone I cared about and wanted to see what it’s like to use someone. And Damian… Damian is the only one who can be my target.
“Or maybe I just want to have Damian for myself. To not have to share my son with someone else. Because,” she looks him straight in the eye, “if you recall, Richard, by then Damian was no longer only mine, and will never be only mine again.
“Selfishness, then.” She closes her eyes, and breathes out. “For twenty months, I am all that he knows, for even Ra’s al Ghul wishes to do nothing with an infant. For twenty short months, and that’s including his gestation, I am his whole world. But then I have to share him with my father, with the League, and with his father, eventually.
“Why do you think I didn’t tell him about his father until much later? I didn’t want to share him. But share him I did, and that made me…. bitter.”
Dick blinks. He wasn’t expecting that answer. It made Talia seemed… human.
Of course he knows that Talia is human, but in Dick’s mind, Talia is always something else. Something other. Lazarus pits and Leagues of Assassins and forgotten myths from centuries ago.
He should have known better. She is as human as he is, and right now, she sounds like any other mother, who wants to keep their child to themselves.
“So I guess,” she continues, “the answer to your question is, I took his body because I want to feel what it’s like to use instead of be used. And I… I killed him because I’ve had to share him with others. The Heretic was also mine, you know. So were the Sons. I convinced myself that I didn’t need, didn’t want Damian anymore because I have them already.
“But I was wrong. Damian is my son, and that will never change.”
“Do you regret it?” Dick can’t help but ask.
“Regret it?” she looks at him incredously. “I will spend the rest of my days asking myself why I did that. I will spend the rest of my days being thankful for Damian’s forgiveness.”
Dick has nothing to say to that. Talia doesn’t either, it seems, because she is silent for a while, before she visibly collected herself.
“That’s enough from me for now,” she says, mask firmly back on. “You owe me two answers, Richard.”
“Two?” Dick asks.
“You asked two questions, did you not?” she raises her eyebrows.
Dick sighs. He should have known. “Alright,” he sighs. “Ask away, Talia.”
She is silent for a while. “What did you do,” she finally says, “that makes Damian love you so?”
Dick blows out a breath. He really should have known. Talia isn’t going to skimp on the questions. He knows how she thinks. She didn’t expect to be giving out so much information, but now that she did, she’s going to make the most out of it and grill him for as much information as she gave out.
“Asking difficult questions, huh, Talia?” he asks, more to give himself time to think than actually asking.
“You are the one who started it, Richard,” she replies back. “Now answer the question.”
Dick tries to gather his thoughts, but eventually, he says, “I… I guess it’s because… it was just the two of us. That time when Bruce was gone. Everyone else left and…” He wants to say that he cannot in good conscience let Damian go back to her, but that doesn’t seem like a good thing to say right now. He does have some tack.
“And it was just the two of us,” Dick repeats. He looks back at her, and remembers that she gave him an honest answer, or as honest as she could manage, and decides that he will too. “I didn’t give up on him. He kept expecting me to send him away, but… But I need him to be there, too.” Dick laughs a little, because if you told him, back when he was still wearing the cowl and shouldering the weight of the legacy Bruce left him, that he needed Damian there, he would have scoffed. But he knows better, now.
“I need him there with me, because if it was just me, alone, I don’t think we would be having this conversation, Talia,” Dick says with a small smile. “So I didn’t give up on him, and he didn’t give up on me, and we came out together.”
“And that made him love you?” she asks with a frown on her face.
“That made us love each other,” Dick answers.
“Ah,” she says, but Dick can see the frown deepening on her face. He considers explaining to her, but ultimately decides not to. She needs to figure this out on her own.
Besides, she would not appreciate it if she think he’s condescending her.
“Your second question?” Dick prods. He’s half-tempted to consider that her last question as the second question in this ‘game’ that they’re playing, but even he’s not that cruel.
Talia opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, the door to their cell opens.
“Mother!” Damian shouts. “Grayson!” he shouts again, almost running towards Dick.
Dick is already standing up before his little brother even steps foot inside the cell. He opens his arms and Damian crashes into them, pushing the air out of Dick’s lungs.
Then, almost as quickly as it happened, Damian releases himself from the hug. He looks over towards Talia, as if remembering that she is also here, and composes himself.
“It is good to see you well, Mother,” Damian says.
“It is good to see you well also, my son,” Talia replies.
They look at each other, but Dick has had enough of looking and of awkward silences. He scoops Damian back up his arms, and says, “Where’s everyone else?”
Because if Damian came here by himself, there will be hell to pay back home.
Damian seems to know that, because he turns to look at Dick, eyes wide even through the lenses of the domino mask. “They are outside,” he says.
Which means that Damian ditched them to come here on his own. Dick raises his eyebrows, which is retaliated by Damian’s scrunched up nose. “They are outside,” he says again, voice tinged with petulance.
Thankfully— and this shows just how much have changed between the two of them, that Dick can honestly be thankful for this— Talia is there. She crouches down in front of Damian, and says, slowly and clearly, “That was foolish.”
“I…” Damian tries, but with the two of them looking at him, he doesn’t have a chance. “Fine,” he grits out. “Fine.”
Which is good enough for Dick. For now, anyways. He doesn’t want to do this in front of Talia, no matter how much insight about her he has just gained. He shakes his little brother a bit, just to show that he’s teasing, and says, “Were you worried about us?”
“No,” Damian grumbles. “I was more worried about the fact that the two of you were left alone, unsupervised.”
Talia clicks her tongue, seemingly sharing Dick’s exasperation. She is just more vocal about it. For a moment, Dick thinks that she’s going to flick Damian’s ear, or bop his nose, but of course she doesn’t. After that one, single click, she goes straight back to business, and asks, “And what does my father wants you to do this time?”
Dick almost misses the woman she was, just a few minutes ago, when it was just the two of them, confessing something only the other one would understand. Almost. But then he snaps back, remembers that they are here for a reason, and tunes in to Damian’s answer.
“... another one of his cumbersome tests,” Damian finishes. Dick subconciously tightens his hold on Damian, thinking of all the things Ra’s al Ghul would want to test, before he deliberately lets go again. Damian would not appreciate Dick treating him like a child, especially in front of Talia.
“Hmm,” Talia hums, apparently thinking the same thing as Dick. She looks over Damian again, but, evidently finding nothing wrong with him, just taps him once in the cheek and says, “Be careful.”
“Yes, Mother,” Damian grumbles again. “Can we go, now? I believe more of Grandfather’s men is currently heading in this direction.”
“You go,” Talia says. “I have several things I need to discuss with your grandfather.”
“Mother,” Damian starts to protest, but Dick catches Talia’s eyes, and sees in them a shadow of the woman from before. She has business with Ra’s, alright, and it almost certainly involves Damian.
Dick nods at Talia. Whatever discussion she would have with her father, Dick wants Damian nowhere near it. And it’s clear that Talia doesn’t want her son near it too.
“Come on, Dami,” he says to Damian, who look between them as if he could not decide who he wants to follow. “Let’s go.”
“Go,” Talia tilts her head towards the door. “I will see you later, habibi.”
Still reluctant, but finally acquescing to the unspoken demand, Damian nods. Then, he walks to the door, half-pulling, half-hindering Dick with him. Dick takes charge, then, changing his grip of Damian so that he is the one leading.
But, as they walk out the door, Dick turns back, and he meets Talia’s eyes. She looks back, and in that one moment, the two of them understood each other perfectly.
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BEAUTY

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The Pros & Cons Of Having Sex With Different Penis Sizes
It's equal opportunity over here!
Ashley Cobb
Sep. 02, 2022 04:00PM EST
Anyone who says that penis size doesn't matter is lying. If you've got a penis, or you have sex with a penis, you know that certain sizes and shapes feel better than others. There isn't a right or a wrong size, nor a good or a bad. All penises are great, no matter the size, but there are some pros and cons for each.
Here are some sex tips for every sized penis.
Sex With a Small Penis
Men with smaller penises are often much harder when erect than those with a large penis – as the blood flow has less space to fill. I don’t know about you but a harder penis equals a good time to me.
The Pros of Sex With a Small Penis:
Better and more attentive lovers
Quiet as it’s kept, small penises can be more enjoyable than larger ones. Almost every tiny dicked dude I've had sex with was a better lover than his big penis counterpart. Guys with less-than-average penises tend to have a lot to prove, and who am I to try and stop them?
Better for anal play
When it comes to anal sex, size most definitely matters. Most women complain that anal hurts. A bigger penis tends to be too much for butt sex. I’m way more excited to have anal sex when I see that the guy doesn’t have a third leg. Small penises are ideal for backdoor fun because they don’t cause pain, tearing, bleeding, or discomfort.
Easier to make adjustments
You can always make a small penis larger, but you can’t make a large penis smaller. With sex toys such as penis extenders any penis can become a bigger penis. Penis extenders are external devices that stretch the penis to make it longer. You can also use a cock ring to create a firmer, bigger erection. As well as penis pumps—a vacuum pump— that can temporarily grow a penis up to an inch in both length and girth.

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The Cons of Sex With a Small Penis:
Limited range of motion
Smaller penises tend to “fall out” more often, creating a limitation in the type of sexual positions they can perform. Positions like doggystyle and spooning are great positions that will give maximum access. As a general rule, people with smaller penises should stick with positions that facilitate deep penetration, to utilize the entire shaft length.
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Sex With a Average Penis
Random fact, most men are average. The average penis in America is just over 5 inches. Only 15% of all men have penis larger than 7 inches and just a tiny 2% are bigger than 8 inches, as documented in a study published in theJournal of Sexual Medicine. So by these statistics, most men have an average normal penis of about 5 inches. But average doesn’t have to mean bad, in fact, when it comes to sex, its a good thing.
The Pros of Sex with an Average Penis:
Works with most positions
If a guy is on the smaller or bigger side, certain positions can be tough. If he’s in the average range, the world is your sexual oyster and you can pretty much try anything without too much discomfort.https://www.xonecole.com/-2657960587/sex-with-a-small-penis
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Sex With a Average Penis
Random fact, most men are average. The average penis in America is just over 5 inches. Only 15% of all men have penis larger than 7 inches and just a tiny 2% are bigger than 8 inches, as documented in a study published in theJournal of Sexual Medicine. So by these statistics, most men have an average normal penis of about 5 inches. But average doesn’t have to mean bad, in fact, when it comes to sex, its a good thing.
The Pros of Sex with an Average Penis:
Works with most positions
If a guy is on the smaller or bigger side, certain positions can be tough. If he’s in the average range, the world is your sexual oyster and you can pretty much try anything without too much discomfort.
Limited sex positions
Excess length poses a real problem with heterosexual sex: vaginas are not bottomless pits and the cervix at the back end is for most women very sensitive. This means that certain positions like the ever-popular doggystyle are off limits, but sex positions like cowgirl and missionary are better suited because they avoid thrusting too deep.
The Pros of Sex with an Average Penis:
Works with most positions
If a guy is on the smaller or bigger side, certain positions can be tough. If he’s in the average range, the world is your sexual oyster and you can pretty much try anything without too much discomfort.
Limited sex positions
Excess length poses a real problem with heterosexual sex: vaginas are not bottomless pits and the cervix at the back end is for most women very sensitive. This means that certain positions like the ever-popular doggystyle are off limits, but sex positions like cowgirl and missionary are better suited because they avoid thrusting too deep.
More comfortable
Average penises just feel better. Contrary to popular belief, most of us don’t enjoy having our cervix banged up. Average sized penis fits more comfortably in the cervix. Never have I ever heard someone say that sex was painful from an average penis. The most sensitive part of the vagina is the lower part, and a man with an average penis will have no problem reaching it. He can cause all of the pleasure without all the length.
Better blow jobs
It is a lot easier to perform oral on a man with an average penis than on a man with a larger or smaller one. When he’s average, you don't have to worry about it fitting in your mouth or gagging and they’re easier to deep throat.
The Cons of Sex With an Average Penis:
I see none! Moving right along!
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Sex With a Large Penis
For some people size really does matter. Although size has no bearing on its ability to give and receive pleasure some people just prefer bigger. The bigger, the better. There's nothing wrong with that, we all have preferences. To each their own.
Limited sex positions
Excess length poses a real problem with heterosexual sex: vaginas are not bottomless pits and the cervix at the back end is for most women very sensitive. This means that certain positions like the ever-popular doggystyle are off limits, but sex positions like cowgirl and missionary are better suited because they avoid thrusting too deep.
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Can I ask for a NSFW alphabet for Kizaru?
Kizaru nsfw alphabet
description: Kizaru nsfw alphabet
warnings: nsfw
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
so sweet- it depends on if you had rough and wild or passionate and romantic, but he’ll usually make a joker or two. try to make you laugh. your not leaving his arms util the next morning though. if it was morning sex? he’ll take the day off.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Kizaru’s favorite part of him is his legs or his chest.
on his S/O he likes everything of course, but his favorite is thier stomach or throat
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
mildly salty, there’s a lot of it and it’s pretty thick
he loves cumming inside you, on your stomach, or on himself and having you lick it up
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he doesn’t really have dirty secrets, he’s shameless. he’ll tell you anything, but I guess you being the only one he tells is still a secret? he wants to fuck you in front of a field of subordinates, like picking you up and having you bounce on his dick while he instructs the lower marines. that’s not even the dirtiest thing though, I literally just chose a random thing
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
he has good experience, no very long relationships but a few one night stands. he definitely knows what he’s doing.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
I don’t know the name for all of these but;
siitting face-to-face with you on his lap, cowgirl, spooning, when you stand on one leg while he holds the other up and you have to grab the wall for support.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
it really depends, he can be goofy or serious but there’s always this passionate/romantic/loving feeling
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
ehhh, he trims a bit but it’s pretty hairy; the hair is a bit lighter
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
same as G, but in depth he always looks at you with such passion and love that all sex feels intimate, and he tries to make it feel that way bcause everytime that’s how it feels to him
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
like 1-3 times a week. he’s busy
unless he has an S/O but in that scenario he just fucks them at least 7 times a week
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
being called admiral
begging
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
literally anywhere- his office, Akainu’s office, the kitchen counter, the battleship, the bed, againsst the wall outside his office.
favorites though are his office and the bed (and Akainu’s office)
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
begging, whines, whimpering- they don’t have to be meant to be dirty he’ll still be turned on (unless you’re whining/whimpering because you’re actually in pain
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
anything that hurts you, cuckholding, don’t talk about wanting to fuck another admiral/man- only he can say stuff like “you wish you could fuck Garp don’t you”
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
he doesn’t care who’s recieving or giving. he knows how to use his tongue. his tongue will move really fast covering everything, then right when you’re about to come he stops and lick v e r y slowly before repeating
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
depends on his mood, usually it’s a decent pace not exactly fast or slow but his thrusts are hard and deep. he does tend to get faster throughout the act
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
sure! I mean is he supposed to fuck you for an hour when he has a world to save?
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
pffft, YES
he’s way more open to taking risks in location, but he’s also down to experiment in how you do the do- but somethings he knows if he’ll like the second he hears the word(s) and he’ll say no or yes right then
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
like 3-4 rounds unless you’re being punished or he’s jealous/really horny, then it’s up to 7 rounds
he’ll stop whenever you actuallt want him to though, he doesn’t have to go that many rounds if you don’t want to
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
yes, lot’s of different vibrators. he’ll use them occasionally, but only when he’ss punishing you because he prefers to do everything himself.
he likes cock rings.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
again it depends on his mood
he’ll really only tease for like 2 minutes before he has to cum too, teasing isn’t really a priority or anything to him. but he’d love it if you try to tease him
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
pretty loud, lots of moans like longer versions of the (oh~) sound he does. he talks a good amount, dirty talk
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
he’ll have you sit on his lap during a meeting, before it started he had you cockwarming him and when it did start he began to subtly thrust his hips up to meet yours
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
uncircumcised (85% sure)
bigger than average, length and width wise, and bigger balls.
about 9″ length
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
he can go whenever, his libido kind of changes according to his S/O’s
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
he waits for you to fall asleep, he likes to stay awake and cuddle, savor the moment
@acupcakenamedlucy
#one piece#one piece headcanons#one piece kizaru#kizaru#kizaru x reader#admiral kizaru#kizaru headcanons
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nsfw a-z JUNKYU (treasure)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
lots of cuddles and stroking your skin. he wants to make you feel calmer than you did even before the scene, calm enough to fall asleep. he can sense when you’re back to being your usual self but the softness doesn’t stop.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
he has two favourites on his own body and on you! on him, it’s his lips and his legs. his legs because well it’s junkyu he has fabulous legs duh. and his lips because he constantly notices you staring at them. he bites them on purpose when he sees you staring at them and knows that you want to kiss them 24/7
on you, he likes your hair and your fingers the most. he likes the way your fingers wrap around his dick and how you tease the tip with your index finger, sending him straight to heaven. and he likes to stroke your hair. he knows it sends shivers down your spine when you’re already turned on.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
he definitely looks forward to seeing you covered in his cum. even if you let him cum inside you, he doesn’t because he wants to see it actually on your body. he lovessss watching it trickle down your fingers before you suck it off them and also clean the remaining liquid off his dick too. he also sometimes has you take selfies on his phone after he’s finished all over your face for a later date.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
when you sit by him in your short dresses and skirts, he wants to do nothing more than to slowly inch his hand up your inner thigh and finger you, making you leave a damp patch on the seat, but he’s nervous that other people in the room might notice.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
2 different partners, one of which was a long time girlfriend, the other a one night stand. he can be romantic, he can be distant, he knows it all. he’s still a little shy with saying things out loud, but that doesn’t affect his skill and will happily discuss things via text.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
ride him and he’ll be your whiney little bitch. don’t get me wrong, he’s still in charge, but the noises and the faces he pulls have you fooled for a second. he doesn’t have a preference, reverse cowgirl and cowgirl are even, both get him to cum quicker than any other position.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
he’s a silly guy, you think that’s gonna stop just because he’s got his dick out? he’s so loving, even if you are friends with benefits, he just wants to make you smile and to make you feel comfortable and safe, as well as making himself feel comfortable too. a tense atmosphere is only saved for those scenes where you are mad at each other.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
he’s always completely shaved. balls too :)
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
he’s a huge romantic and is solely focused on you. even if he’s desperate, he’s still gonna make it loving and share lots of intimate moments with you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he takes his time when it comes to masturbation. he wants to set the scene in his mind as takes a lot to actually turn him on when you aren’t there. he usually gets off at his desk to those pics he’s taken of you or to just his imagination. he gets caught by his members a lot, but he somehow convinces them he’s just working on a song.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
he loves when you call him sir or master, especially when you look at him all innocently. it lets him know that you know your place and that he has you wrapped around his little finger. call him one of these in a sfw context and that’s when you know you’re in for a good time.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
studio or at his desk in his room. although it not ideal for his job, the best sex usually happens when you’re distracting him from something you can tell that he’s stressed with. giving him head while he’s working or while he’s gaming usually gets him really turned on and as much as he’s saying that you guys can’t do anything at the time, you definitely can and will.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
pictures of you! it’s not secret that he has a folder of pictures of you that he uses to get off to. your selfie’s alone really turn him on, especially the ones where you have your fingers in your mouth. but of course there’s plenty of nudes and little teasers in there too. and those pics of your face covered in him cum of course.
lingerie!! boy loves seeing you in the sexiest pieces and sets, so much so that he doesn’t mind splashing the cash and buying you some as a “just because” gift. he’s very gentle (most of the time) and does not rip them because they’re stunning on you! but sometimes he gets carried away and tugs on them a little too much while pulling you towards him.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
no food play. it’s too messy and too much of a hassle after a scene when he’s super tired.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
my mind always goes to junkyu getting head under his desk while he’s producing a song, tell me that wouldn't be hot. i can imagine him to be quite whiney but he just lets you do your thing without telling you how to suck it. running the underneath of your tongue over the tip is for sure something that he CRAVES. if he asks he gets, but he just wants you to do it anyway without even being asked.
his oral skills aren’t anything special, they’re good enough, but he gets you so worked up beforehand that the slightest touch will make you cum. he loves to press little kisses against your inner thighs before actually getting to eating you out.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
most times, he wants it slow. he wants to drag out every last moment and make the most of everything and so he keeps the pace slow. he doesn’t wanna tire you or himself out, knowing that you’ll both crave more after the first round. but sometimes he’s a little desperate, there’s nothing slow about it when he’s like this.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
he’s not a fan at first, but you soon show him the wonders of quickies in a vacant room where you can get caught, and he’s craving them all the damn time. he becomes a quickie lover and sometimes all he needs is to be satisfied for a while.
honestly though, he wouldn’t choose them over somewhere comfortable like your bedroom and wonders why you’d rather do stuff quickly when you could just wait a few more hours and get ruined properly. if only he understood that sometimes, you just cannot wait, and that it’s all his fault.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he gets excited at just the mere thought of experiments and venturing into a new world with you. the potential danger of literally anything out of the ordinary happening is something that really gets him going. he’s down to try anything once if you are, but he gets a little shy about discussing them.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
usually 2 rounds with a small break in the middle for water and such. he can last around 15 minutes per round inside of you and he’s pretty proud of himself for that lmao, especially since he’s receiving head for like 20 mins lol
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
he loves knowing that you use toys when he’s not around, it gets him horny to think about you holding a vibrator against your clit while you think about him. but i don’t think such toys would be welcome in the bedroom while he was there.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
angry/jealous sex, there is no teasing at all. he gets what he wants and that’s it, there’s nothing in it for you (or so he thinks). if you don’t cum that’s your problem because he’s given you ample opportunity.
normal, “everyday” sex, is full of teasing, especially when it comes to giving you oral/foreplay. there’s lots of kissing, lots of orgasm denial and LOTS of touches and kisses. pressing light kisses onto your clothed clit was his signature move, just one had you wanting to cum sometimes.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
he’s whiney as FUCK okay. he’s very loud,you can definitely hear him, maybe even some other people too hehe. sometimes he sends you voice notes of him moaning when he knows you’re horny and alone. he’s not really into dirty talk because he doesn’t want to say anything that will ruin the mood.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
he runs his hand through his hair A LOT while you two are being intimate, especially when your lips are wrapped around his length. usually his hair gets sweaty and also, he wants to see you, so you catch him brushing it out of his face a lot.
he’s definitely a tits man. he loves to hold them, sleep on them, suck on them, whatever you/he wants. he holds them while he fucks you because he knows it hurts, it’s a win win. they aren’t always sexual to him either, they’re just another part of you that he can admire (but he’s too shy to compliment you on them and also thinks it would be kinda weird if he did lol)
he. kisses. you. constantly. the kisses are often broken by the thrusts but he doesn’t care and he actually thinks it makes the whole thing more romantic.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
just over average length with a litter under average thickness. i think he’s a show-er too.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
honestly, not that high. he goes through spells of not wanting any to wanting it twice a day, but on the whole, it's not extraordinarily high nor low
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
he’s pretty tired, but he doesn’t want to fall asleep until you have or you’ve said it’s okay for him to sleep. he’s a little groggy so you usually make him go to sleep whenever, but it’s also really cute 🥺
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Masterpiece | KTH x KNJ
+PAIRING: Kim Taehyung x Kim Namjoon
+GENRE: Oneshot, crack, angst, smidge of smut, College AU, stranger to lover
+WORD COUNT: ~13k
+RATING: 18+
+WARNING: Taehyung has face blindness, NSFW, (very) foul language, overuse of the word penis and it’s synonyms, pinning, misunderstandings, Namjoon is like real’ dumb, a little hanky panky but nothing scandalous.
+SUMMARY:
“So let me recap here, you don’t know his name, his major, his department, his age, his number, nor his face. The only clue you have is this drawing, which basically looks like a textbook example of unrealistic body expectations. You apparently know every nook and cranny of his [REDACTED], but you didn’t have the decency to ask his name? You deserve this.” He cackles, angering Taehyung.
(OR the one where Taehyung has face blindness but that won't stop him from finding love. )
+A/N: Well, it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted anything, and almost as much time since i last wrote anything (except for the occasional guilt writing lmao). So this is me coming back with a vengeance (and the dumbest thing i’ve ever written). This is all thanks to (or to be blamed on) @minloop who put up with my non-stop messaging, gave me some plot ideas, and actually inspired me to finish this in three days. Thank you to my baby @emojihobi for the emotional support and the beta reading 💖
+Disclaimer: I got all my info on face blindness from google searches, so please forgive any inaccuracy.
Face blindness has definitely made Taehyung’s life difficult.
There’s the obvious problem of not being able to recognize your parents. Remember this childhood trauma of holding a random stranger’s hands in the mall, thinking it’s your mother or father? Taehyung had to live through that many, many times; except he wouldn’t realize until said stranger would shake his hand off, or until his parents would swoop in to get him. The fact that he’s never been kidnapped is down to pure luck, really.
Making friends, you guessed it, has also been a challenge. It’s difficult explaining to kids why you ignored them when you saw each other in the hallway. Kids don’t always understand “I didn’t recognize you” as an explanation, especially if you’ve been in the same class since pre-k.
But this? This is a new and unforeseen crisis.
+
His dorm room is very quiet, which is not unusual since he has a solo room. But he’s pretty sure he went to sleep with a plus one, and said plus one is nowhere to be seen.
Now, he isn’t a stranger to one-night stands sneaking out after he falls asleep. He likes to take night conquests to his dorm room for this exact reason; He can go right to sleep, while they take themselves out. Easy breezy no string attached-y. That’s usually the way he wants it to be.
But this time is different. Last night was different. Last night, Taehyung had the best night of his life, hands down. Best bangs of his existence. Bangs plural because they went more than once. How that’s even possible when his teenage years are long gone and days with multiple orgasms are less and less common, he has no idea.
He’s probably ruined for anyone else. Nothing could ever compare to the night he just spent getting his back blown out.
Now, Taehyung is a sculptor. A very gifted one at that (if his teachers’ praises are anything to go by). Taehyung knows body proportions, knows perfect rations, all that stuff. He knows it on marble bodies, in sketches, in painting. Not on actual human beings.
Until last night.
Last night, he witnessed the body of a god. He scratched at perfect skin, held on to beautifully defined and strong arms, rode perfect thighs. Last night, he shed a tear at the view of some perfect knees. Last night, he realized that art truly imitates nature.
And that’s not all.
Taehyung can admit he owns a nice dick; it’s decently shaped, the color is nice, and the size is slightly over average.
But what he witnessed the night before?
The Narcissus of dicks; the most beautiful dick on the planet. The most beautiful dick in history . Probably even prettier than Narcissus’ face himself. (But Taehyung doesn’t know what Narcissus' face looks like, so he’s only assuming.)
From the perfect red color of its beautifully shaped head to the gracefully intertwined veins leading to a sturdy looking hilt, peppered with well-kept pubic hair, ending in an exquisitely wrinkled ballsack. The girth was over average; big enough to make size queens (such as Taehyung) salivate, but not big enough to scare away enthusiasts. And the length? The dude is lucky he’s a grower and not a show-er, or he would never know peace. Mainly because the likes of Taehyung or Park Jimin would never let him be.
But where is that most perfect penis right now?
Attached to its perfectly shaped and mysterious owner, probably miles away.
Very problematic, indeed.
+
“So what you’re saying is, you fell asleep, and when you woke up he was gone? Isn’t that how it’s usually supposed to go?” Yoongi sounds disgruntled on the other end of the face call, face half mushed in his pillow, hair disheveled and eyes squinty. It’s not yet 1 pm after all, which is still considered morning for people like Min Yoongi.
“Noooo, not this time.” Taehyung whines,” This time he was supposed to stick around and ask me to marry him in the morning. Isn’t that obvious? We went at it four times for fuck sake, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?”
Jimin chokes on his matcha oatmeal milk latte, eyes going wide. “Four times?! Now that is a monster stamina. He basically squeezed your balls dry.” There’s a pause, then he says to someone off-camera, “It’s rude to stare, ma’am.”
“Stop ruining my morning with your screaming,” Yoongi grunts out, rubbing his eyes. “So what do you want us to do about this?”
Taehyung fumbles around his desk for a moment, looking through his piles of sketches until he finds it, his only clue.
“Do you two know this man?” He asks, pulling out a sketch he did quickly off his memory of the mystery man’s body. He pulls out a second one, this one is a close-up of his perfect penis. He might have gone off tangent with the shading, but he couldn't stop himself, that dick deserves all the shading.
“Jesus fuck.” Yoongi signs.
“Baby, I’m sure you’re aware that if I knew anyone with a body and a dick like that, you would never have been able to put your dirty paws on him.”
Taehyung turns hopeful eyes to Yoongi after glaring at Jimin for a good 10 seconds, but Yoongi only shakes his head no.
“I don’t have a habit of making my friends strip around me, sadly. I wouldn’t be able to tell even if I knew him.”
“You two are useless” Taehyung signs, his body deflating. Yoongi takes offense and hangs up. Or maybe he was going to hang up either way.
“So let me recap here, you don’t know his name, his major, his department, his age, his number, nor his face. The only clue you have is this drawing, which basically looks like a textbook example of unrealistic body expectations. You apparently know every nook and cranny of his penis, but you didn’t have the decency to ask his name? You deserve this.” He cackles, angering Taehyung.
“I was busy sucking his dick, asshole.” He spits, but Jimin only snorts in answer.
“Good luck finding the owner of Mystery Penis.” He quips back, before hanging up as well.
+
All hope is lost. Never in his life has he despised his face blindness as much as he does right now. Of course, it’s never been easy dealing with it throughout his life. He’s lucky he has two solid friends he can count on. Although Jimin regularly dyes and changes his hairstyle without warning to mess with him. And Yoongi basically has two hours of availability per week, usually arranged around his sleeping schedule.
But he knows they care for him, and he cares for them.
He drags his feet to class. He uses ‘class’ lightly; being a third-year means most of his courses are spent in the workshop, working on his graduate exhibition.
He’s got his trusty overalls on, covered in clay stains. He’s been working with clay for the last few weeks, using the medium for two of his exhibition pieces.
He greets his teacher at the front desk with a nod, before making his way to his desk. Today’s playlist consists of oldies, and he makes it to his desk just as Lionel Richie’s voice fills the room.
He snorts, rolling his eyes.
Hello is a classic of sculpting classes. No matter the teacher or the Instructor, they all love to play that song on repeat, and he usually doesn’t pay it any mind. But right now, isn’t there a more perfect song to taunt him?
Lionel Richie asks if it’s him he’s looking for, as he’s pulling his tool out of his bag. He unwraps the plastic wrap from around the latest project he’s been working on, already planning his next move.
He’s pretty sure the sculpting world is all over that song only because of the music video.
It’s obvious that the whole ‘blind girl sculpting’ thing–
Oh.
Oh dear god. The music video.
The music video.
Taehyung has an idea.
His hands move before he can fully realize the plan in his head, rewrapping his project, and getting some new clay from the front of the class.
His teacher looks him up and down in all his frantic and excited glory.
“A sudden stroke of inspiration?” He questions, sounding curious.
“Something like that.” Taehyung smiles, trying to act inconspicuous. His teacher won’t let him take the clay if it’s not for his graduate exhibition.
He makes it back to his station without any more inquiry and starts to work right away.
Jimin was right, he does know every nook and cranny of that penis. He spent hours getting acquainted with it, and he has an excellent memory (Except for faces, obviously).
All the other students are too busy working on their final projects to notice the massive penis under construction a few feet from them. If anyone asks, Taehyung will proudly answer that it’s a life-sized depiction. But no one is asking, so he simply works on bringing the piece to life. The students in his class rarely talk to him, since he hasn’t gone out of his way to develop any type of relationship with them. It’s easier like that.
Once he’s done, many hours later, he’s alone in the workshop with the sun setting outside.
He ogles proudly at his masterpiece, the erect penis standing tall on his station, truly a creature of beauty. It’s a perfect replica, down to the ballsack wrinkles; down to the cute mole at the hilt. Of course, it’s clay-colored, and it probably won't change since Taehyung hates painting his creations, but he’s absolutely certain that everything else is exactly like the original.
The oven has been preheating for a while, so it’s hot and ready to bake some penis. The only thing left is to leave it to cure for a while. Any ol’ regular penis would have taken less than an hour to cure, but we’re talking about a monster cock here.
He pops it into the oven, sets a timer, just in time for a knock at the door to pull him out of his penis-induced craze.
“Yo, Tae,” Yoongi’s voice resonates from the door frame.
Taehyung grabs a rag from his station to clean his hand with before making his way to his friend. There’s someone with him, and Yoongi signals at his friend with a lazy wave of his hand.
“Remember Namjoon?” He asks, but it’s a rhetorical question. Jimin and Yoongi have taken to the habit of identifying the people they’re with, so Taehyung doesn't have to embarrass himself trying to figure it out on his own. That way, they don’t have to explain his condition to every single person that isn’t in his immediate friend circle.
(Is it even a circle if it’s two people?)
He sends a nod in Namjoon’s way and gets a wave back, and that’s as far as their exchange goes, as usual. Except today, his whole body language reads nervous and tense. But that’s none of Taehyung’s business.
“We’re going to see some juniors perform in a pub, you want to come with?” Yoongi asks him, and Taehyung knows he means well, but he also knows that Yoongi knows he doesn’t like crowded spaces.
He and Jimin have tried to get him to go out more, but the only time Taehyung steps foot inside any type of alcohol selling establishment is when he wants to get laid. And there’s only one place he goes to then; that crappy little Bar near campus that’s only frequented by broke students who also want to get laid.
He doesn’t like anywhere that’s dark where there’s enough people to make him lose sight of his friends. Something about losing his parents at the mall one too many times.
“That sounds nice, but I have to finish this piece I’m working on.” He answers, trying to sound as regretful as he can. It doesn’t really work, judging by Yoongi’s unconvinced humming.
“Alright, careful when you go back home.” Yoongi finally answers, patting him on the shoulder.
He starts walking away, but his friend, Namjoon, stays frozen on the spot, facing him. He’s looking at Taehyung in some kind of way, but face blindness makes it hard for him to read other’s expressions. He raises a single eyebrow in interrogation, and that seems to make Namjoon snap out of it. He turns on his heel without as much as a goodbye, which, rude .
“'Kay, bye.” He mutters after him.
But he can’t hold it against him. He knows that ‘Namjoon’ has been a long-time friend of Yoongi and that they’ve spent some time together by association. Taehyung doesn’t go out of his way to get to know new people, so there’s a high chance Namjoon might have tried to approach him with friendship in mind, only to end up frustrated by Taehyung’s lack of interest. Happens all the time. He can’t really help it, reading intentions is not in his toolbox.
He should probably tell Yoongi to share his ‘secret’ with Namjoon. He seems nice enough from what he heard, so he would probably be understanding. It should at least clear up the misunderstanding, and Taehyung might even gain a new friend, who knows?
He makes his way back to his station, works on his actual project while the oven takes care of making his penis nice and hard.
+
The next morning, he wakes up to ten texts from Jimin, one from Yoongi, and multiple missed calls and voicemail from his workshop teacher.
Asshole with pink hair:
9:40 am ur crazy
9:40 am CRAZY
9:40 am This is hilarious
9:41 am That’s why i love u
9:41 am That is a beautiful dick
9:41 am Like it was nice on paper, but the 3D version definitely makes me wonder about its owner
10:26 am All the student body is buzzing about the mystery penis
10:27 am It’s on the front page of the school newspaper
10:27 am omg you dumbass u didnt write your number
10:27 am you didn't write your number anywhere brb dying of laughter
Hyungie:
11:32 am You didnt write your infos dumb dumb
Taehyung bangs his head on his pillow, hoping for quick death. How could he forget to write down his infos? How is anyone supposed to contact him?
+
Namjoon has come to learn quickly that university isn’t always the most sanest place on the planet. Cramming, into a single building, that amount of genius with that amount of insanity is bound to create interesting events.
He’s stopped being surprised by most things, might be guilty of doing some of those surprising things from time to time. But today? Today is on a whole new level.
Somehow, his dick is plastered all over the school, in every hallway, on every door. Think Regina George distributing the burn book copy all over school but, multiplied by 50, that’s how many pictures of his dick are distributed around school right now. Not an actual picture of his actual dick, but an actual picture of an actual clay replica, with big bold yellow letters spelling out 'HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PENIS?', and nothing else.
It’s vaguely threatening.
He wishes he couldn’t tell that it’s his penis, then maybe he could laugh with the rest of the student body. But there’s no mistaking it. One look and he knew. The person who printed those flyers made sure to include all the possible angles, too.
It’s 100% his dick.
The slight curve is there, the mole is there, everything is there.
The intentions of the maker are unclear, but there’s one thing for sure: he knows exactly who’s behind it. He only knows one sculptor who has seen his penis, and that’s the current bane of his life, Kim Taehyung.
It’s not enough that Taehyung has been completely ignoring his existence before their night of passion together, he’s also been ignoring him after.
And now this? Plastering his dick all over school? For absolutely no reason? Did he not like the night they spent together? Was this a great big ploy to make fun of him? Is this Taehyung’s way to reject him? To tell him to stay away from him? He knows he’s never been really subtle with his crush, but isn’t this going way too far?
At least he had the very, very basic decency to forgo his name from the flyers, or Namjoon might have had to run away to the next town.
Namjoon is not dumb, he knows his ancient Greece lore and what they thought about big dicks.
Taehyung didn’t write this so people would look at the dick, he’s obviously calling him a dick. And for what, pinning on him for the last year? Can’t a man have a crush in peace?
Maybe he shouldn't have approached Taehyung that night.
One thing is for sure, Taehyung is sending him a very clear message to stay away from him.
+
He spent a fortune printing all those hands out, and now he has to reprint them all? Taehyung knows very well he can’t afford another round of mass printing. Plus the librarian probably won’t ever let him walk into the library again. She had to come and refill the printer at least three times in the hour he was there. The environmental club was even called on scene by one of the students waiting for his turn at the printer. Talk about a snitch.
He can’t afford to reprint everything, and there’s no way he’ll go around school writing his number by hand.
He listens to the voicemails from his teacher then, uncovering a new hurdle.
The first one goes like this:
"Kim Taehyung I know it’s you, you left that thing on your desk."
Then the second:
"Kim Taehyung, you will take down these handouts right this instant before the Dean can see them, you hear me? He'll put you on probation and my head on a stick."
Taehyung muffles his groans into his pillow. Maybe it’s a good thing he forgot to include his number. He should have thought of that before.
He throws on some clothes, heeding his teacher’s warning. He better get to school quickly.
He texts Yoongi and Jimin to take down as many as they can if they want to see him live for another day. Yoongi doesn’t answer and Jimin only texts back asking if he can keep one for his room.
Some friend circle he’s got there.
He makes it onto campus in under half an hour, and gets to work, taking them down as quickly as he can.
He’s got only a few hallways left to do when someone taps him sharply on the shoulder. He spins around, dreading the moment he comes face to face with the Dean. Not that he could recognize the Dean.
“Are you the Dean?” He stammers in a small voice.
“What? No- you. I swear to god. Just tell me if you hate me that much.” Stranger says, before putting his long leg to good use, striding away from him. He throws a bunched-up flyer on the floor before disappearing down the hallway as quickly as he’s appeared.
Taehyung is stunned for a good minutes, utterly confused
The voice sounds similar, but other than that he has no idea who just spit those words at him. He doesn’t hate anyone, and he doesn't see why anyone would believe he has those kinds of ill feelings towards them.
+
Now that his plan has miserably failed, Taehyung falls into hopelessness once again. He lays in bed, holding his precious sculpture to himself. It’s the only thing he has left from his fateful encounter. Or he thought it was fate, but now he’s wondering if that was life making fun of him.
Jimin is laying by his side, examining the sketch of the body with clear interest. It’s making Taehyung feel a little possessive.
“Maybe you should try again in the school gym, no one gets a body like that from not going to the gym. You could say you’re looking for a model or something.”
Taehyung stares at his friend with all the admiration he can muster.
“I would kiss you so hard right now.”
“We tried that once, remember?”
“Yes, and that’s why I won’t be doing it, but I would, just so you know.”
“Cool.”
He snatches the sketch out of Jimin’s hands to get to work on the shading, trying to get his drawing as realistic looking as possible. Making a whole body out of clay would take too long, so Taehyung will have to settle for his sketch.
Once he’s done, some 30 minutes have passed. He whirl around on his desk chair, waving the sketch around successfully, only to stop dead in his tracks. He finds Jimin with his precious sculpture halfway down his throat.
“Jimin!” He exclaims, fuming. “Get your dirty mouth off my penis!”
Jimin startles and chokes in surprise, but then bursts out laughing once the sculpture is safely out of his mouth.
“Sorry, sorry. I was just really curious about the size. You never cease to amaze me.”
Taehyung snatches his precious phallus back, grabbing some tissues to wipe off Jimin's drool.
“If I can’t find him, this is going up my ass, so don’t touch it.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jimin grimaces, rearranging himself on the bed. He grabs his phone to waste some time, probably ignoring his other responsibilities as the end of their final semester is quickly approaching. “You want to end up in the emergency room? Just use it to make a mold and replicate it with some silicon at least.”
Taehyung raises both eyebrows in astonishment.
“Jimin, your genius never ceases to amaze me.”
+
He successfully drags Jimin with him to the campus gym. Normally the prospect of hot sweaty people grunting, in various states of undress would attract Jimin like a bee to honey, but since he’s already banged or broken up with half the people that go there, Taehyung has to keep a firm hold on his friend’s wrist.
“Why do I have to come with you again?”
“It was your idea, so you’re taking responsibility.”
“I don’t like taking my responsibilities, they suck,” Jimin grumbles, but he stops trying to run away.
The moment they step into the gym, they’re assaulted by the musky smell of sweat and determination. There’s a high volume of people working out, probably wanting to channel their end-of-semester jitters into iron pumping.
Taehyung spots the front desk, putting his business smile on while reaching into his folder. He hears Jimin greet someone, going off by himself, but Taehyung bears him no mind and heads straight for the Woman working the counter.
“Hi there,” he says, charm on, “ I was wondering if you could help me out,-”
“Yes you can put your flyers up, no you don’t have to pay for it, no we won’t take it down before the end of the semester, yes I do have some tape.” She says without missing a beat, not looking up at him.
“Damn, maybe I’m here because I want to sign up for a membership.”
She finally looks up from her computer, assessing Taehyung from head to toe.
“No you don’t babe. Here’s the tape.” She says, handing him the tape while blowing a bubble with her pink gum. Multitasking at its finest.
Taehyung doesn’t feel like taking her on a debate, so he gets hold of the roll of tape and gets to work, spotting where other people left their flyers so he can put his right by them.
He scans the gym once or twice with a quick look, trying to see if, by a stroke of luck, Mystery Man could be there. No one that is shirtless has the body he’s looking for, and he sadly doesn’t have x-ray vision to check the rest. No amount of wishing as a kid made him grow that ability.
He puts up the first flyer, this time containing all his info, and stares at it proudly. He's got a good feeling about this.
Jimin finds him again as he’s putting up his last flyer, sounding excited about something.
“I had no idea Namjoon worked out. He’s got nice arms hidden beneath those sweatshirts.”
“Namjoon? Yoongi’s friend?”
“Yeah! And he changed his hair color, it looks really good on him. A little lighter than he used to have.”
Taehyung nods along, not really pressed to know more. He’s got other fish to fry.
+
Namjoon slowly counts to 30 after seeing Taehyung leave the premises, before he basically sprints to the nearest wall, spotting the flyers Taehyung has put up.
There’s a sketch on it, a sketch of a body. A body that looks strangely like his. He frowns, before reading the caption.
“Sculpting student looking for body model. Body must look like this. Call XXX-XXX-XXXX. Food as compensation. ”
Namjoon cannot believe his eyes. Taehyung knows he’s got that exact body type, yet he didn’t ask for his help. If he needed any other confirmation that Taehyung hates him, there’s one right there.
Just what did he do to the man to make him hate him so much?
Since he’s confronted him in the hallway, Taehyung still hasn’t reached out to him. It would be easy to do. He knows Taehyung has his number, they exchanged it when they first met, so nothing is stopping him. Unless he’s happy with the way things are.
+
Maybe Jimin is not as much of a genius as he thought. By the sixth person that walks in to be a body model, he realizes this is getting expensive in food bribes and studio fees. He has also stopped putting up the pretense of wanting to sketch anyone anymore.
But this time, It’s one Jung Hoseok who walks in.
“Have we slept together before?” He asks right off the bat, tired of wasting his precious time. It’s his new modus operandi; invite them in, ask the burning question, then send them on their way with the promised food to avoid complaints.
“I don’t believe so, but maybe we should fix that,” Hoseok answers, taking off his shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“Your flyers have a nude body on it, you made me come to a private studio, isn’t this a nude modeling thing?” Hoseok questions, but doesn’t stop undressing. He’s already reaching for his belt.
Something tells Taehyung this man would be really sad to be told to put his clothes back on. The way he’s unapologetically getting naked tells Taehyung everything he needs to know.
“So, why are you asking?” He inquires while posing, everything hanging loose and stuff. “Is that how you get laid? Asking hot dudes to model, then seducing them once they’re naked and vulnerable?”
Jung Hoseok doesn’t seem to be feeling very vulnerable right now, but Taehyung keeps that to himself.
“God no. Jesus that would be sleazy of me.”
“Not as sleazy as asking me if we’ve slept together 5 seconds into our first meeting.” Hoseok points out.
“ Touché. ” He admits, a soft chuckle escaping him.
Hoseok doesn’t press him for an answer, and they spend the next few minutes in silence, the only sound coming from Taehyung's pencil on the thick page of his sketchbook.
Jung Hoseok, standing confidently in front of him in all of his naked glory, has a certain aura around him. The way he holds himself, no hesitation to bare it all, head held high; it's like he never had to hide anything in his life. Like he never knew shame. To the point where it inspires Taehyung to utter the next words:
“I have face blindness.” He starts off, which gets his model’s attention. He keeps his eyes down on his paper to avoid eye contact, feeling rusty when it comes to revealing this part of himself. He continues quickly, “I had a one-night stand with this– perfect greek god. He had the perfect penis, too. Best sex of my life.” He's making good progress on his sketch, Hoseok’s body graceful and easy to put on paper. “I’m trying to find him, but I don’t know anything about him, and I can’t tell people’s faces apart." He chuckles deprecatingly, "The only clue I have is the way his body looks. So I put up this ad for body models hoping he would show up.”
Hoseok breaks his pose to slap his hands together, then pointing at him. “Oh my god, are you the one that plastered the whole school with the penis sculpture a few days ago? Was that your version of a ‘Wanted’ poster?”
Taehyung feels his cheeks warm up.
“Yeah, but I almost lost my diploma over that so let’s not mention it.”
Hoseok laughs with his whole body, clapping his hands together a few more times as if to express his excitement.
“That was the best thing to ever happen on this campus since 1993, thank you for that.”
His statement piques Taehyung's interest.
“What happened in 1993?” He asks, expecting anything but what comes outs of Hoseok's mouth next.
“My mom and dad conceived me in the bathroom of the literature wing.”
Taehyung chortles, surprising even himself with how loud it is.
“Now that’s a conception story worth telling your kids.”
“They didn't tell me; They got caught and got expelled the next day. They framed their expulsion letter, it’s still on display in the kitchen.” Hoseok’s voice is dripping with fondness, betraying his love for his family. “The thing is, I learned how to read at a very early age.”
Taehyung is possessed by another wave of uncontrollable laughter. He wipes a stray tear from his eyes, taking a second to compose himself.
“There, you’re looking a little better now. “
Taehyung looks up at the man, standing there in his birthday suit, going out of his way to cheer him up even though they’re perfect strangers.
(Maybe not so perfect since he’s seen him naked, but still.)
He chuckles again, going back to his sketching.
“Wait does this mean you don’t actually need models right now?”
“Well yeah," Taehyung answers, shrugging his shoulders, "But you looked like you would be really disappointed if I told you to stop undressing, so I just went along with it.”
Hoseok nods his agreement, going back into his original position.
“Good call. Now that we’re here you better get the shading of my calves right. They’re my pride and glory.”
“On it.”
+
Who would have thought that this whole ordeal would have somehow turned into Taehyung making a new friend.
He looks at the contact number in his phone staring back at him. It’s written 'Jung Hoseok' with a little sun emoji. He’s told him everything he needs to know to avoid misunderstandings, and Hoseok left with the promise to always greet him first when they see each other in the hallway. It’s sad that he only met the man in his last stretch before getting his degree, but as they say: better late than never.
He’s excited to get to know Hoseok, but he doesn’t know if he should text him first. He’s feeling a little socially rusty, having not approached anyone with the intention of being friends in a long, long time. Which is why he jumps with glee when he sees he’s got a text notification from his new friend. But then he reads the text, and the glee morphes into unadulterated excitement.
Jung Hoseok 🌞:
4:56 pm I think i know who your penis belongs to
4:56 pm can you send me a picture? I lost the flyers i kept from that time
4:59 pm You sent a picture
5:01 pm Yeah it’s really similar
5:01 pm Kim Seokjin, XXX-XXX-XXXX, probably currently working the counter at the campus coffee shop.
5:02 pm He’s tall, broad shoulders, awesome dick
Taehyung doesn’t even take the time to text back his thanks; he wraps up his project in a disorderly manner, wiping his hands on his shirt with no care in the world. He throws his backpack on and basically sprint to the coffee shop he usually tends to avoid. The owner is totally an evil capitalist, ripping off students with his overpriced coffee.
He gets there in record time, gasping for air as his poor lungs try to keep up with enough exercise to last him a lifetime.
He’s covered in clay stains, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, clothes in dismay, lungs wheezing, so he should probably expect the next few events that unfold.
He walks into the coffee shop still out of breath, asks if Kim Seokjin is there to the first employee he sees. This is one of those times where he’s happy he can’t read people’s expressions, because he has a feeling he’s being judged very much right now.
“He… just got off his shift.” The man at the counter answers hesitantly.
“Can you tell me where he went?” And what he was wearing?” Taehyung may be sounding a little desperate, but he doesn’t have the time to care.
“He was still in his uniform, so green, and he went that way.” He indicates with a vague wave of the hand.
Taehyung starts running again, this time looking even more crazed as he scans his surroundings like a mad man, looking for someone tall with broad shoulders wearing green.
He spots him after running for a few minutes, thanking the heavens that the employee sent him in the right direction. He had every reason not to.
“Kim Seokjin!” He calls out, picking up his pace despite his lungs begging for a break. “Wait!”
He sees the man stop, take one look at him over his admittedly very large shoulders, then start sprinting away from him.
“No! Wait up!” He pushes himself harder than he ever has, his legs and lungs burning under the continuous strain, head feeling a little faint. “Please!” He calls out again in desperation. “Please look at my penis!”
This catches Seokjin’s attention, and he thankfully stops running, turning around as if to wait for him. Taehyung slows down to a jog, then to a complete stop, bending over gasping for air. Once his breathing is finally somewhat back to normal, he straightens up, only to come face to face with a bottle of pepper spray.
“W-wait!” He stutters, falling on his ass. “I swear I’m not a creep!”
“That’s exactly what a creep would say.” Seokjin answers, hovering over him threateningly, aiming the pepper spray directly at Taehyung’s face.
“I swear I just need you to look at my penis.”
This was the wrong thing to say apparently, because Seokjin gives the bottle a good shake as if to activate it. “That doesn’t sound as reassuring as you seem to think.”
“No! Wait!” He pleads again. “Not my penis.” He takes off his backpack, frantically digging through it until he finally pulls out his sculpture. “ This penis.”
Seokjin doesn’t look totally convinced, but he finally lowers his weapon. “That’s a beautiful cock.” He admits after a moment of staring in silence.
“Thank you. Is it yours?”
"I don't remember owning that sculpture."
"Not the sculpture; the Penis."
Seokjin frowns, extending his hand, and Taehyung gingerly deposits his precious sculpture into his palm. The man finally puts away his pepper spray to free both his hands. He examines the penis under every angle, trying out the hold, measuring the testicles with his palm, staring at it long and hard.
Taehyung takes the opportunity to stand back up, keeping his distance this time.
“It does look very similar,” he concludes, hands going to his chin. “But this is not my penis. I don’t have a mole there.”
Taehyung deflates. He still asks, just in case. “So we haven’t slept together?”
Seokjin gives him back his sculpture with a snort. “You don’t look like anything I've ever slept with.”
Taehyung realizes the state he’s in. He must look ridiculous right now.
“I’m from the sculpting department. I didn’t have the time to clean up. I don’t usually go around looking like I just rolled in the mud.”
“Explains a lot.” Seokjin nods, looking him up and down.
He dusts himself off as best as he can, but he can’t do much more cleaning up than that. He’ll probably have to go back home looking like that.
“So what’s your name?”
Taehyung feels dumb, he didn’t even have the decency to introduce himself before pulling out his penis. His social skills are frankly lacking.
“I’m Kim Taehyung. Sorry about all that, someone told me you could have the original version of this sculpture.”
“I’m flattered. It is pretty similar. Can I ask why you’re going around asking people to look at your– At this penis?”
Taehyung sighs deeply, looking down at the penis in his hand. He did it once, he can do it again.
“Long story short I had an amazing one-night stand with the owner of this beautiful creature, but I have no idea who he is and the only clue I have is my perfect memory of his penis.”
“Sounds like a proper modern-day Cinderella story. But how come you don’t remember his face?” Seokjin questions, a hint of worry in his voice that would make sense in any other situation than Taehyung’s.
“I…. have face blindness, it’s this whole-”
“Ah, Yes, Prosopagnosia, I heard about that in class.”
“Oh. Well, yeah, so this is my only way of finding him.”
“So the Penis Flyers-”
“Yeah, that was also me. Forgot to write down my info, got caught by my teacher, that was a whole mess.” Taehyung admits, feeling discouraged.
“So now you’re basically going around town asking every man to try on the metaphorical glass shoes.”
“Basically.”
“Maybe don’t start off with ‘please look at my penis’ next time?” Seokjin recommends, which makes sense.
“I’ve been told that asking if we’ve slept together first thing is making me sound sleazy.”
“Yeah well, asking people to look at your penis isn’t better.”
“I’ll take good note of that.”
+
He drags his feet all the way back home.
He sees, pushed in the corner of his room, the material he got to make a mold, and wonders if now is the time to give up.
His exhibition is coming up, this whole thing made him late on his projects, and now he’s certain he’ll never reunite with Mystery Man. Maybe Mystery Man just doesn’t want to be found. Maybe he’s seen all his attempts and has simply steered clear, avoiding him all along. Maybe it’s time for Taehyung to make himself a silicon version and move on. He’s exhausted all his options, he’s out of time, and out of ideas.
He’s reading through the molding instruction, glad that this should be easy since he’s using a sculpture and not an actual living and breathing dick, when he realizes he hasn’t exhausted all his options. There’s still hope.
He jumps in the shower, picks out an outfit befitting of his destination, and goes off with hope in his heart.
+
The Bar isn't too busy, this being the middle of a school week, but there’s still some people going about, sharing drinks and being loud, in total denial of the oncoming train that is the end of a semester
Taehyung spots the barman, beeline for him.
“Hey, do you know who usually works on Sundays?”
“That would be me.” Mr.Barman says, convincing Taehyung he finally has luck on his side.
Mr.Barman is on the tall side, with nice tattooed arms and wavy over-bleached hair tucked behind his ears. He’s making his forearm bulge seductively by polishing some beer glasses, and if Taehyung wasn’t on a mission to find his possible Mr.Perfect, he would be actively trying to get into his pants.
“Do you, by any chance, recognize me?”
Mr.Barman doesn’t miss a beat.
“You’re a regular. And you gave me a blowjob once. Why are you asking?”
Well, Taehyung might have many flaws but at least he’s consistent.
“I was wondering if you remembered seeing me a few weeks ago– I was with a dude, about this height, with this body,” he adds, pulling out the sketch. He looks a little crazed, once again. But it’s ok, he’s reaching for straws here. “He had dark hair, but that’s all I can tell you. See, I have face-”
“-Blindness, I know, you cry about it every time you get drunk.”
Hm. And Taehyung thought he was a character full of mystery.
“I do know who you’re talking about. He’s a regular too.”
The irritation Taehyung feels is only momentary, everything melting away with this new bit of information. Someone saw them, someone knows what his Mystery Man looks like. He didn't hallucinate the whole thing.
“Do you know his name??” He asks, pleading with his eyes. His heart is thumping wildly in his chest, desperation tangible.
“No. And he hasn’t been here since that night.” He says, crushing every hope and dream Taehyung mustered up in the last five seconds. He pauses his polishing, head tilting to the side. “But I do remember his face. I can try and draw him if you want.”
10 minutes later, Taehyung is looking at his disability in the face.
“Wow, you did it. You perfectly illustrated how people with face blindness see others.” Taehyung says, looking down at the drawing Jungkook (he asked for his name) quickly scribbled on a piece of napkin. It looks exactly like how he sees others.
Jungkook being good-natured, only laugh it off. “I can’t do much here, I’m working. But if you give me your number, I can try and do a better sketch once I get home. I’m from the painting department.”
“You would do that for me?” Taehyung asks, feeling deeply moved by Jungkook’s kindness.
“Sure, it’s good practice for my portrait class anyways. You can take this as a thank you for the blow job.”
Taehyung nods to himself.
“I do give amazing blowjobs.”
+
Jungkook, like any good art student, does not appreciate being rushed.
After a whole week of being told “it’s not ready yet”, Taehyung stops asking.
He also wakes up one morning and realizes he only has a few days left before his exhibition.
Not only is he not done with all his pieces, he still hasn’t started studying for his finales which happen to be the week before his exhibition, meaning, the next day.
He pushes aside any thought of Mystery Man (except when he hugs the sculpture at night, heart yearning for the original), and jumps straight into his cramming strategy, which consists of hitting himself with the books until he’s absorbed the material. If he’s not studying, taking a finale, or sleeping, he’s huddled in the workshop with the other students of his department, functioning on coffee and eating various shades of sculpting material for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is not what Taehyung expected when he was told that artists live from their arts.
The day before his exhibition, he’s barely feeling human, he’s got dried clay in places clay should never find itself, he doesn’t know words anymore and he has basically forgotten his own name.
No matter how fast he works, he realizes he won’t be able to finish his last pieces in time. He’s wracking his brain for a solution, thinking long and hard about just what he could do, when it hits him.
The solution is right underneath his nose;
His penis. It was always his penis.
He’s supposed to expose pieces that he finds impactful, and if there’s anything that had a big impact on his life in the last few weeks, it’s his sculpture.
He can’t tell his teacher, he’ll categorically refuse. Not after the stunt he pulled with the flyers. Plus he wouldn't understand the cultural reset it was for Taehyung, finding and crafting that beautiful creature.
So he sets to work in secret. It shouldn’t be too hard, he hasn’t printed his labels yet. Plus the students are in charge of installing their own corner, meaning he can wait until the very last moment before the opening to put his penis on display.
He needs to find a name for his sculpture, so he texts his friends for help, but as usual, they are unhelpful.
Asshole with pink hair:
6:45 pm ‘ Suck on that’
Hyungie:
6:45 pm why are you asking me idk
Jung Hoseok 🌞 :
6:50 pm “ Long lost lover”
He’s glad to see that his new friend will fit right in once he introduces him to everyone.
He isn’t satisfied with the answer he gets, so he sends more text.
Kim Seokjin:
7:05 pm “Is this your penis?”
7:06 pm Or better yet, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PENIS?”
7:06 pm that way people will understand how current your art is
7:10 pm Also I didn’t give you this number to chitchat
7:10 pm after we find out his identity im cutting all ties with you
7:11 pm Im just feeling invested right now
7:11 pm that’s all
7:17 pm Where’s your exhibition again?
Jeon Jungkook barman and artist:
9:56 pm idk
9:56 pm im almost done with the portrait btw
9:56 pm you mind if I use it for my exhibition
9:56 pm im really proud of it
So not much more help on that side either.
+
The next day, Taehyung is busy setting up his corner and feeling emotional over his last exhibition.
He’s done with uni. He can go off into the world and live from his art. Or more like, he’ll first find a side job that’ll suck the life out of him, to pay for his art. Then he’ll spend a few years regretting every decision that led him to be an artist, but just as he’s about to give up, his sculptures will be noticed by a mysterious millionaire that’ll commission him thousands of dollars at first. He’ll refer him to his rich friend who will be all over his art and will throw their money at him.
Yeah, it’s a nice pipe dream.
He makes sure all the labels are in place, the lights are hitting his pieces in all the right way, and that no one notices him putting his penis in the middle of his space 30 seconds before they open the doors.
By the time his teacher notices, it’s already too late; the place flooded with friends, family, and even the occasional art critics that the university invited.
It’s not like his penis feels out of place in his setup. Most of his pieces are on the theme of the human body; studies of movement, skin texture, whatnot. If you look at it as a whole, you almost have a whole body. The only thing missing is a face, which is extremely fitting for Taehyung.
The wave of people coming is not preferable for Taehyung, since he doesn’t like crowded places. He’s never been a fan of their exhibition opening nights over the years. He keeps himself busy by trying his best to merge with the wall while people circle his pieces. His friends know he won’t be able to recognize them in the crowd, so they’ll come to him by themselves, he simply has to make himself visible.
“Hey babe,” Jimin says with mirth in his voice, “Is that greek?”
“Yeah” Taehyung answers, fixing his eyes on his most beloved and central piece.
“I didn’t know you knew greek”
“I don’t, but Google does.”
The Penis is standing directly underneath his own spotlight, looking like a beacon of light, grabbing the envious stares of the people around it.
There’s a little white label by its base:
Kim Taehyung
πέος, 2021
Red Clay
(if you recognize this penis, please ask for the artist)
“ What does it mean?”
“ Penis ”
Jimin hums, crossing his arm over his chest. “I guess I was not expecting anything less.”
Yoongi chooses that moment to appear, whistling his praise.
“So you did work this semester.” He jokes, bobbing his head with approval.
“Har, har.” Like he’s one to talk. He basically spent the last few months becoming one with his bed.
His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he expects it to be Hoseok or Seokjin telling him they’re here, but instead it’s from Jungkook, and it’s a picture.
A little gasp of surprise escapes him.
His hands shake as he opens up the text app, his heart thumping as the picture loads. He presses on it once it’s ready, taking up the full screen, and Taehyung can finally-... well, Taehyung can’t do anything with that. His case of face blindness is pretty severe, so even drawings are unrecognizable for him. But it’s something! A new clue! He can make a flyer out of this! He can-
“Why do you have a portrait of Namjoon on your phone?”
Time stops.
Yoongi’s voice echoes in his head, mocking him, but also stealing the carpet right from underneath his feet.
Why do you have a portrait of Namjoon on your phone?
A portrait of Namjoon
Namjoon
Namjoon, who stood in front of him silently, that day Yoongi invited him out, probably expecting some kind of reaction from Taehyung.
Namjoon who frequents the campus gym.
Namjoon, who’s tall and broad-shouldered.
Namjoon, who’s been around Taehyung for a while but was never told about his condition.
Namjoon, who probably thinks Taheyung has been ignoring him all this time.
“Jesus fucking christ, My Mystery Man Is Kim Namjoon.”
Both his friends voice their confusion as Taehyung tries to rip his hair from his head.
“This penis belongs to Kim Namjoon, who doesn’t know I have face blindness, and who probably think I’ve been ignoring him all this fucking time.”
“Holy shit,” Yoongi says at the same time as Park Jimin, that prick, starts cackling uncontrollably. Taehyung always knew he was evil.
“This is- I’m so sorry but- This shouldn't be funny– But I can’t, it’s too funny.” He wheezes out in between laughter. “He was right there, probably confused as hell as to why you were showing his dick to everyone- I’m sorry this is so funny but also so, so sad. You never- oh my god.”
Under the attention of about half the gallery, he wipes the tears from his eyes, body convulsing with laughter.
“What the fuck are you waiting for.” He finally manages to say, taking a deep breath. “Hyung, didn’t you drag him here tonight?”
That seems to snap Yoongi out of his stupor.
“Fuck, yes he’s here, he’s... There!-” He says pointing somewhere, but then his voice dies down. “And now he’s leaving...”
Taehyung spots the man with a black cap currently walking out the exit with an angry stride. He reacts on instinct, running after his Not So Mysterious Man Anymore.
+
Kim Namjoon is having a very no good, very bad day.
Not because of school, no. He aced all his finales, he doesn’t even need to get his grades back to know.
Not because of the weather either. No, it’s a beautiful spring day, and there’s a hint of cherry blossom in the air, wrapping the world in a romantic tint.
No, the reason he’s having a very no good very bad day, is because he can’t, for the love of God, get Kim Taehyung out of his head.
It started with a very interesting dream, clearly drawing inspiration from the night they spent together. It woke him up at the crack of dawn, sweating up bullets and hard as a rock. Finding sleep afterward was nearly impossible, meaning his first precious day of vacation started way too fucking early.
Now music theory never sleeps, so he simply spent his morning trying to forget his dream, channeling all his energy on composing.
But then Min Yoongi, long-time friend and co-compositor, had to go and ruin his fragile peace of mind by reminding him he had two tickets for the sculpting department exhibition, and Namjoon was obligated to show up. Meaning he would inevitably run into Kim Taehyung; Meaning he would agonize about him all day; Meaning , that he would be thinking about Kim Fucking Taehyung all day.
But it’s ok, because he was finally starting to come to terms with that too. Taehyung would probably ignore him again, and all he needed to do was circle the gallery once and get the fuck out.
But no.
Oh no.
Life had better plans.
Because right into the center of Taehyung's exhibition space, is his very own penis, standing proudly, mocking him.
He can recognize it from the flyers, so he knows instantly that it’s Taehyung’s work.
He’s stunned by the audacity, wondering once again what he did to draw Taehyung’s ire upon himself. The flyers were not enough, no he had to go and put it on display as his final fuck you to Namjoon. Even wrote 'penis' in greek as a title, confirming Namjoon's theory that this is all a ploy to make fun of him.
Namjoon has had enough, he’s getting the fuck out of there.
He spins on his heel at the speed of light, taking advantage of every inch of his long legs to walk out as fast as possible. He ignores the call of his name that follows after him, readjusting the cap on his head.
He’s fuming, feeling tears of frustration building up. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s been nothing but respectful of Taehyung. He’s been staying away from him too.
He doesn’t deserve this.
He makes it a few blocks before his phone starts going off every 5 seconds with incoming texts, forcing him to finally look at it.
Yoongi Hyung:
6:14 pm Before anything, know that Taehyung suffers from severe face blindness.
6:14 pm I know you know what that means you wikipedia rat
6:15 pm I didn’t tell you cause it’s none of my business who he chooses to tell
6:15 pm But the dumbass has been trying to find you for weeks using your dick because he had no other way to identify you
6:15 pm Your pinning hasn't been exactly subtle either
6:16 pm he ran after you when you left but I bet he’s pleading with the wrong person in the street right now
6:17 pm Nice dick by the way
He rereads the series of text to try and make sense of them. Only after the third read, does he finally understand.
Well, shit.
+
“Please Namjoon listen to me, you have to listen to me, I didn't mean to ignore you, I just didn't know it was you!-” Taehyung pleads, holding on to his sleeve.
“Can you please let go of me?!”
His voice sounds a little older than what Taehyung remembers, but he doesn’t have the time to think too much about that. Maybe he’s got a cold or something.
“-I can explain everything if you can just give me two minutes-”
“I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not this kind of person.”
Taehyung isn’t deterred, holding on to him desperately “-Please I swear just two- no, one minute, even one minute is enough-”
Someone clears their throat, tapping him softly on the shoulder.
“Sorry sir, I believe my friend here is mistaking you for me.”
Now that’s a familiar voice. A voice he recognizes from many occasions.
Taehyung lets go of his poor unsuspecting victim, taking a step back which is all it takes for them to run away from him.
He finally comes face to face with the source of all his past weeks' torment.
The height is there, the shoulders are there, the body proportions are there, the hair color is completely different, but Jimin did mention he changed it recently. He’s got the black cap on, the one that made Taehyung mistake a perfect stranger on the street for him.
It’s him. He found him. It’s his Mystery Man, his cinderella. He’s got him.
“Namjoon?”
“Yes, that’s me.” He confirms, voice gentle.
“Kim Namjoon.” He repeats, trying the name out on his tongue. His body is filling up with butterflies, and he can’t feel his toes.
“And here I thought you just could never remember my name.”
“I can explain–” He rushes, eager to get rid of the misunderstanding.
“It’s ok, Yoongi told me.”
“And about your penis–”
“Yes, Yoongi told me about that too.” Namjoon cuts him off, the tip of his ears getting pink.
“I’m so sorry– I should have asked your name then. I mean– you made me come four times .”
Namjoon chuckles, catching one of Taehyung’s hands mid flail and holding it with both of his, making his heart jump.
“We’ve basically known each other for years, so maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t think I would have appreciated it then.”
“I guess that’s true. I’m still sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, I could have come up to you first. I mean, I’m the one who sneaked out in the morning. I had an 8 am class, by the way. I didn’t leave because I wanted to. But you have my number so… I assumed you would call me. ”
“I have your number...?” It's pretty vague, but it does ring a bell. He's got a blurry memory of time, around their first meeting, when Namjoon and he had exchanged their numbers for Yoongi related reasons. “That’s right, I do have your number. Fuck.”
“Well, I know now this wouldn’t have changed anything for you, since you simply didn't know it was me you were with.” Namjoon snorts, but not unkindly. More at the situation.
But Taehyung still feels terrible.
“I’m so sorry.” He whines, feeling like burying his face in Namjoon’s chest. But they’re not there yet. “I tend to keep people at a distance to avoid misunderstandings.”
“It’s ok, I get it now. I guess I wish I knew before, but I get it now.”
“Good. I should have told you sooner. I was actually planning on doing it soon if that’s any consolation.”
“It is.” Namjoon murmurs, inching closer to him.
“Cool, cool cool.” Taehyung blurts out nervously.
This is it. This is his chance. Everything that has transpired in the last few weeks is leading up to this moment.
"So," Namjoon starts when Taehyung has been silent for too long. "Yoongi said you were looking for me... Any particular reasons?"
"Well, yes." He answers but stops. All of this means nothing. It doesn't mean that Namjoon will accept to go out with him. He has no idea how Namjoon feels about him, and he sure as hell cannot tell by his facial expression. He's going in blind, no reason to believe that Namjoon wants to have to do anything with him. For all he knows, Namjoon is only here to settle the misunderstanding, and then be on his way. Maybe he's even mad about the penis flyers.
But then he also remembers that Namjoon is holding his hand right now. It's now or never.
He takes a deep breath for bravery and goes for it.
“Kim Namjoon, can I please take you out on a date?”
Namjoon doesn’t let him second guess himself, word leaving his mouth as fast as a blink.
“Absolutely.”
Apparently, they’ve gathered a crowd because there’s cheerful hooting and shouting erupting around them. But Taehyung pays them no mind as he goes in for a hug, Namjoon meeting him halfway.
“Wait, wait,” Namjoon says, suddenly, taking a step back. “I still don’t know why you put my penis on display at the center of your exhibition.”
Taehyung chuckles, bringing Namjoon back in.
“Simple, ‘cause it’s a masterpiece.”
+
2 months later
There’s a knock at the door, which throws Taehyung off. He’s getting ready for his date with Namjoon– their actual first date– and is not expecting anyone. Jimin knows the code, so it can’t be him, unless–
“Hello sir, would you be open to receiving the words of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?”
“Jimin, I swear to god, I can tell it’s you by your voice. And no one from church would dress like you do, slut.”
Moving in with Jimin is as much a blessing as it is a curse. A blessing because, well, they’re best friends. A curse because his best friend’s favorite hobby is to try and prank him. Taehyung almost misses the time where Jimin was treating his face blindness as a taboo.
Almost.
The last two months have been a whirlwind of life-changing events for Taehyung.
First, moving in with Jimin is a pretty big deal. Not only has Taehung been living alone for the last three years, living with someone is sometimes a challenge for him. Wondering why a stranger is standing in your kitchen at 3 am, brain slowed down by sleep and the weak lighting not helping, isn’t always a recipe for success. But he’s slowly getting used to it, and Jimin, as much as he can be a prick, is being patient with him.
The second big event is, well, his current job. Somehow his workshop teacher, even after everything, recommended him for a job at a sculpture academy. He now teaches different types of sculpting medium to children, four nights a week. Pretty sweet gig.
At first, he was going crazy out of his mind worrying about working with children, but four weeks in and he’s feeling confident. He sat down with the kids the first week to explain to them what face blindness is, and although the children were initially confused, they now enjoy switching names with each other for the duration of his classes, to mess with his head.
Jokes on them, Taehyung also called their parents during that first week. So far, none of the children have noticed that their parents have been making them wear certain accessories every time they leave for the academy. Checkmates.
And the last big event, of course, is Namjoon.
In between moving, his new job, and Namjoon’s own busy schedule, they have yet to go on an actual full-blown date. But they’ve slowly been getting to know each other. They make time to go on quick coffee dates sometimes, and they text none-stop. Namjoon hasn’t seen his new place yet, but they’ve hung out at Namjoon’s plenty of time.
His boyfriend (he gets giddy thinking about that word) also showed up at the academy a few times to walk him back home (The first time he kept it as a surprise, but he quickly realized Taehyung didn’t like surprises; especially when it means having a tall stranger approach him in the dark without saying anything. Now he texts beforehand.)
“Do you like this outfit? Or should I go with my floral button-up?” He asks Jimin, who’s lounging on his bed after his failed prank attempt.
“Why are you so stressed? It’s not like it's the first time you two see each other.”
“Because the chances of me getting laid tonight are extremely high and I want to look good.”
“Oh?” Jimin perks up, knowing full well Taehyung and Namjoon have been taking their time to get to know each other. “Should I sleepover at Hobi’s tonight?”
Another new development from the last two months: Jimin and Hoseok’s instant attraction. They’ve been dancing around each other since the exhibition, but it looks like it’s finally getting ‘ sleeping-over-at-each-others-place ’ serious.
“...Good idea,” Taehyung answers, not because he wants the house to himself (though it’s a nice perk), but he likes giving a little push to love sometimes.
His friend circle can finally be called a circle now. Somehow, Hoseok, Seokjin, and Namjoon just naturally fit into his now actually social, social life. Namjoon was the easiest since he already knew Yoongi and Jimin. Hoseok got it easy by becoming Jimin’s more-than-friend, and Seokjin just showed up one day with a video of that time, outside the gallery, when Taehyung thought an older gentleman was Namjoon because of his black cap.
He looks at the time, curses when he realizes he’s going to be late. He grabs his wallet and puts on his shoes in a rush, and makes it out the door accompanied by Jimin shouting “Don’t you dare fuck on the couch or you’re buying a new one!”
He makes it to the Bar with only a few minutes to spare, and as luck would have it, Jungkook is working. He’s come to recognize his tattooed arm and bleached locks instantly.
Namjoon would have texted him if he was there, which means he’s cutting it close as well, so he sends a quick ‘here 💖’ text before sitting down at the Bar with a big smile.
“You make me want to puke,” Jungkook says, disgust dripping from his words.
“Hey now don’t be jealous, I’m sure you’ll find yourself a monster cock as well one day.”
Somehow, he and Jungkook started texting on a semi-regular basis. It’s mostly Jungkook begging Taehyung to introduce him to Seokjin (apparently he’s been crushing on the man since he first saw him at the coffee shop), which Taehyung has to find excuses every time to avoid telling Jungkook the cold, harsh truth.
(“I don’t date men with bleached hair, it ruins my whole aesthetic.” Jin said after the first time Taehyung asked. Which aesthetic he’s talking about, Taehyung has no idea.)
But that also means that Jungkook has heard all about his very fascinating and blooming love story with Namjoon.
“Did you tell Seokjin I said hi?”
“Dude, just go and ask him out. You know where he works, you know where he studies, you even know his birthday, which is really creepy when you two have never talked by the way. Just, go ask him out, he won’t be able to resist you once he actually sees how attractive you are.” He pauses for a second, then adds for safety measure, “But if he reaches in his pocket, just run the other way.”
“What?”
“Don’t ask, just trust me.” Taehyung has some unpleasant flashbacks of a bottle of pepper spray being waved in front of his face. He shakes his head to try and get rid of the memory.
“And how would you even know that I’m attractive, you don’t actually know what I look like.” Jungkook retorts.
“Shut up, just go and ask him.”
“Just go and ask him what?” A familiar voice asks from behind him, and Taehyung's smile is back full force. He rotates on his chair and jumps into Namjoon’s arms, hearing him groan under the strain of his weight. He can hear Jungkook fake gagging behind him, the actual child.
They share a quick kiss before they both sit down at the bar.
“You’re not seriously thinking about having your date here, are you?”
Taehyung snorts, tempted to mess with Jungkook, but Namjoon is the one to answer.
“No we just wanted to get the evening started with a nice drink, but we have a reservation to an actual fancy restaurant, paid graciously by Taehyung's actual serious adult job.”
“Is it a serious adult job if he had to stop a kid from eating his donut-shaped clay yesterday?”
“Shut up. If you keep being like that I’m going to order the most annoying thing on the menu.”
Jungkook scoffs and walks away, without actually taking their orders.
They both watch him do a big show of ignoring them, answering other customers without turning in their direction.
“Let’s just get out of here.” Namjoon whispers in his ear. “We can go waste time walking around aimlessly, hand in hand.”
“God, you’re so cheesy,” Taehyung mutters, but he actually loves it.
His dating experience before Namjoon amounts to an enormous zero, but it’s not because he’s one of those unattainable, i-don’t-believe-in-love types of people that live rent-free in Hollywood movies. He simply never thought it would be possible to get close to someone romantically with his condition. But since officially meeting Namjoon, he’s been researching, and turns out, he totally can.
There are even people, artists like him, who've noticed that repeatedly drawing or painting their loved one has made them actually able to remember their face (not 100% of the time, but he’ll take what he can get.). So he’s been sketching, using pictures, trying out different angles. He’s planning on using clay at one point. He’s totally the girl from Lionel Richie’s music video. Which makes Namjoon Lionel Richie.
“Did you know that I was inspired by Lionel Richie’s music video to sculpt your penis?”
Namjoon chuckles under his breath, squeezing Taehyung’s hand just a little bit more. The hot summer air is making their palms sweaty, but they both don’t care.
“Where is that thing, by the way? It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it.”
“I put it on my bedside table when I moved in and I haven't moved it since. I’m thinking about making it into a lamp. I have to keep it out of reach of Jimin and Hoseok, they both seem a little too interested.”
Namjoon grimaces. Or Taehyung is assuming that’s his grimacing face.
“Please never let it fall into their hands.”
“I swear on my honor, I shall protect your penis.”
“Thank you, I feel better now. I still can’t believe they put it on the first page of ‘Sculpting Now’. Crazy how all of your friends and the sculpting world know what my dick looks like.
“It’s a masterpiece. If it was mine I would never keep it in my pants, I’d always want to show it off.”
“How are you not in prison right now?”
“I don’t have your dick in my pants, sadly. Did you know that Seokjin almost pepper-sprayed me the first time we met? In retrospect, having a stranger run after you, pleading for you to look at their dick is a good excuse to pull out your pepper spray.”
“Wait, you did what?”
“It was all in the name of love.”
Namjoon shakes his head, probably disappointed in him.
+
Namjoon is utterly enamored. Every time Taehyung recalls a story from when he ran around school trying to find him, he falls a little bit more in love.
He was so nervous for their first romantic date that he couldn’t eat during the day, but Taehyung is making him feel at ease, as he usually does, so hunger is coming back with a vengeance.
“Should we go to the restaurant now?” He asks, pulling Taehyung along with him. "It's almost time."
“Let’s.” Taehyung agrees readily, “I’m ravenous.”
They quickly make their way to the restaurant, only to find its door closed. There’s a sign in the window reading “Closed for vermin infestation”.
“Oh.” Namjoon says, “Dammit. That’s not good.”
There’s this awkward silence, filled with growling sounds from both their bellies. It’s too late to make reservations anywhere nice, and anywhere else risks being too loud for a romantic Rendez-Vous. Namjoon is scrambling his brain for a solution when Taehyung’s shy voice interrupts.
“Hum, if you want to– Jimin told me he wouldn't be home tonight, so… You want to come over? We can pick up some ramen on the way.”
Taehyung’s face might be neutral, but the blush growing on his cheeks is anything but. Namjoon takes a moment to appreciate the sight that he makes, burning up in embarrassment. Without the blushing, Namjoon would have believed he’s only inviting him for ramen, but the angry red of his cheeks is definitely betraying Taehyung’s intentions.
He nods his agreement, feeling anticipation replace hunger in the pit of his stomach.
+
Having Namjoon in his space is a new experience.
The apartment is still messy from their move, boxes lying around, but they’ve managed to make it quite homey. Everything that is necessary to their everyday life has been unboxed, only the odd objects being ignored by Jimin and him.
He puts on some soft music to set a nice mood, and Namjoon is humming along straight away, which is all the approval he needs to feel confident about his music selection. Music Theory graduate approved.
He gets to work on the ramen while he directs Namjoon on where to find a cheap bottle of wine and some wine glasses. He sets the table, trying to make it as nice as possible, but it’s really just a pot of bubbling ramen and two bowls with some chopsticks.
They eat in comfortable silence, the music playing in the background mixing with the sound of their eating.
But then Namjoon dumps the content of his wine glass on his tan-colored pants, and it’s downhill from there.
“Damn it!” He curses, jumping to his feet. He grabs some napkins to try and pat some wine off, but it’s already been absorbed by his fancy suit pants.
“Quick, take them off,” Taehyung says, not thinking too hard and only reacting to the situation at hand. “Let’s rinse them in the sink.”
Namjoon complies, taking them off in record time, passing them on to Taehyung like it’s a relay race.
Taehyung deposits them straight in the sink, opening the tap and letting the water hopefully get rid of most of the stain. They both stand there for a minute, staring at the water filling up.
But then it hits Taehyung that Namjoon’s thighs are currently bare and in his vicinity. He sneaks a quick peek to satisfy his horny brain, but he’s quick to snap his eyes back to the sink to avoid doing anything stupid.
Like, let’s say , dropping to his knees.
He can feel himself blushing, his cheeks, ears, and neck feeling hot. He knew exactly what he was doing, inviting Namjoon for some ramen, but now that he can act on it, he’s suddenly feeling very shy.
Plus, not being able to read facial expressions never really impaired his ability to get laid. He used to just– go to the bar, wait until someone would offer him to get out of there, and go for it.
But this is not a bar, and Namjoon won’t ask him if he wants to get out of there. He has no idea how to tell if Namjoon wants to jump into bed with him. Or not.
He takes matters into his own hands.
“So, as you know,” He starts, staring intently at the water flowing out of the tap, “this whole face blindness thing– I can’t really read your facial expressions. So in the future, it’ll be hard for me to figure out if you’re angry or happy, or sad, or… or horny. I’ve never done this whole– Romantic relationship thing, but I’m guessing we’re going to have to be really vocal with how we’re feeling, what we want, whatnot.”
He lets his statements hang in the air, staring at the stain that doesn’t seem to want to go away. He’s thinking maybe this will have to be removed professionally.
But then, Namjoon chooses that moment to drop a soft kiss on his nape.
“Are you asking me, right now, if I want you?”
Taehyung turns around, letting himself be cornered against the counter. Namjoon has his nicely defined biceps, somehow peeking through his suit vest, on each side of him. He absolutely loves it.
“Yes. I am.”
Namjoon kisses his neck once again, and Taehyung is this close to losing it.
“I absolutely want you.” His boyfriend finally answers, landing a heavy kiss on his lips, sucking all the air out of Taehyung’s lungs.
After turning Taehyung’s inside to mush via lips on lips crime, he returns to his assault on Taehyung’s neck, peppering the skin he can reach with sweet kisses, each one sending electricity straight to his groin.
“Do you want me?” Namjoon questions softly into his ear, making Taehyung's eyes roll back so far he’s scared they’ll never come back.
“Fuck yes.” He grinds out, voice turning to a whine when Namjoon, emboldened by Taehyung’s enthusiasm, rocks his pelvis into his in a languid motion.
He sees white then, bringing Namjoon’s mouth back to his, smashing their mouths together in a wet and messy kiss.
“How important are your pants?” He inquires in between kisses, enjoying the slow grinding Namjoon has going on. He’s still in his suit pants, but Namjoon only has the thin cotton of his boxer brief as a barrier. Taehyung can clearly feel his monster cock waking up from its slumber.
“Not very important.” He finally answers, hands letting go of the counter to firmly grab at Taehyung’s ass.
Taehyung can proudly say he’s got a fat ass, and Namjoon seems to appreciate it if the growl that escapes him is anything to go by.
He gets to work on the buttons of Namjoon’s dress shirt, Namjoon getting the message and taking his vest off by himself. Soon he’s standing there in only his boxer briefs and socks, while Taehyung is still fully dressed.
It’s kind of hot.
They slow it down a little, Taehyung pushing Namjoon away so he can take a good look at him.
The light of the kitchen falls almost gracefully over Namjoon’s defined chest, creating shadows that chisel out his muscles even more. It’s a sight to behold.
He drags his hands down Namjoon's body, teasing a nipple as he goes with a flick of the thumb, mapping out his taut stomach with the tip of his finger, then coming back up to hold onto his strong shoulders.
“You know, I’m like, really good at massages. I feel like this is something you should know.”
Seems like this is all the time Namjoon will allow him away from him. He reels him back in with an arm around his waist, the other taking hold of one of Taehyung’s hands and bringing it to his mouth. He nips at his fingers, maintaining eye contact while he uses his tongue to soothe the sting.
How he’s even real is beyond Taehyung.
“Do you need help undressing?” Namjoon teases, reaching for his belt.
“Let me close the tap and we can move this to my room.”
Namjoon doesn’t give him a response, only cages him once again against the counter, plastering the full length of his warm body to his. He reaches behind Taehyung and moments later, the soft ambiance music is the only thing they can hear again.
Taehyung leads him to his bedroom, taking off his vest as they go. Somehow Namjoon already got his belt buckle, so he unceremoniously drops his pants to the floor, then jumps on his bed.
“Welcome to my room. That’s my desk, that’s my bedside table, that’s a replica of your penis, but I heard the original is planning on making an appearance tonight. This is my bed. Hope you enjoyed the tour.” He finally gets to the final button, looking up eagerly as he sends his shirt off to the side, wondering what’s taking Namjoon so long to get on the goddamn bed.
He finds his lover completely captivated by his penis duplicate.
“You’ve got the same one in your pants, you know. Get you your ass over here.”
“Sorry I was just thinking… it’s crazy how similar you made it only from your memory.”
“Excuse me?” Taehyung objects, crossing his arms over his chest. “They’re not just similar, they’re identical.”
“Only one way to check, is there?” Namjoon taunts, before finally, finally getting rid of his briefs, releasing the Kraken.
Except he also grabs hold of the sculpture, bringing it close so he can do a side-by-side comparison.
“You’re right, it is identical. How did you even manage that?” He says, awe in his voice. “Have you ever used it on yours–”
Namjoon loses his train of thought as he takes in the sight of Taehyung, laying in bed completely naked, pumping himself at a leisurely pace and looking very unimpressed.
“No, I haven’t. But if you don’t get into bed in the next 5 seconds I just might consider it.”
Namjoon doesn’t have to be told twice.
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