#in my perfect world someone is like well buck what are you looking for exactly

[sibylsleaves]

I don’t really think Buck needs to date around but I DO think a Buck dating montage would be a lot of fun

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | July 22nd-28th 2024

Had a nice week off, sadly it's back to work for me :(

Complete

Made A Difference In My World by I_still_dont_understand_13/ @dangerpronebuddie (Post-S7, Getting Together | 1K | Teen): Maddie's words echo in Buck's mind as he stops practically mid step to stare. He must look like a fool. Best case scenario, a really detailed lawn ornament. But the sight before him would stop even the toughest of men, and Buck is a weak, weak man. It doesn't help that the speakers are blasting Whatta Man. It doesn't help that this year's LAFD shirts are thinner than previous years thanks to budget cuts. It doesn't help that the sun is at the perfect angle to make the man before him practically glisten.

This doesn’t change anything between us, okay? by fraddit/ @fraddit (Post-S7, Unrequited Love, Open Ending | 1K | Teen): Buck and Eddie talk and break each other's hearts, but the love remains.

Workplace Regulations by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP, Established Buddie | 1,2K | Explicit): "Maybe I should have brought the clipboard. For, like. Plausible deniability." Eddie snickers as Buck maneuvers him back against the shelves, spinning him around in the darkness. "You really think having a clipboard is gonna help if someone catches us fucking in a supply closet?"

my sleep broke on a hug by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP | 1,3K | Explicit): This is real, though. Buck is snoring faintly, and Eddie's mouth is morning-sour, and they're both sweating where they're pressed against each other because Buck tugged the blanket back up over them last night before Eddie pulled him into his arms. This is real.

Come Home by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Canon Divergent - Post Lawsuit | 1,5K | General): Nearly three years after the lawsuit, after Buck ran away from everyone, from him, Eddie gets a letter written in a familiar scrawl.

held at the end of your tether by teaspoon/ @standback (PWP, Established Buddie | 2K | Explicit): Eddie loves getting Buck to say exactly what he wants and then giving it to him, but the fun part is winding him up first—making him beg for it.

drown in my mind by devirnis/ @devirnis (A/B/O AU, PWP | 2K | Explicit): Buck pads down the hallway and pushes the door to the kitchen open slowly. A fond smile curls up the corners of Buck’s mouth. And then the scent hits him. Sickly sweet, like honey and cough syrup. Normally it’s a scent that has Buck’s heart soaring, but the smell combined with the fact that it looks like Eddie has stress-cleaned the entire house while Buck was on his 48-hour shift has guilt churning violently in his stomach. Eddie’s in heat.

this ecstasy, this forgetfulness of living by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP, Established Buddie | 2,5K | Explicit): Eddie hooks a hand through the handle of the leash and tugs a little. Playful, it's playful and a little teasing and not forceful at all, but the collar presses into the base of his neck as Eddie reels him in, and something in Buck's mind goes blissfully silent and still.

mixed message by coldbam/ @coldbam (Post-S7, Accidental Sexting, Infidelity | 2K | Explicit): Five minutes later Eddie hears his phone vibrate on the counter, the screen saying it’s another message from Buck. He expects it to be a link to a trail Buck wants to do, or maybe even a detailed grocery list. But… When he opens his message, he’s greeted to—it’s—well, it’s Buck’s dick. * Or Eddie accidentally receives a text meant for Buck's boyfriend.

melting on my lips by devirnis/ @devirnis (PWP, Established Buddie | 3K | Explicit): Eddie doesn’t know how he ended up like this. Scratch that, he does know how he ended up like this. When Buck gets in a certain mood – all teasing smiles, lingering touches, reaching increasingly further and further to make any kind of innuendo – Eddie finds it impossible to resist him. So when Buck had caged him up against the kitchen counter and kissed the living daylights out of him before suggesting they take it to the bedroom and try something new? Yeah, no way was Eddie saying no to that one.

alleyways and payphone calls by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP, Established Buddie | 3K | Explicit): He doesn't grope Eddie in the elevator mostly because he's pretty sure that if he starts he's not going to stop, and Eddie's got a slightly crazy-eyed look that suggests now is not a good time to count on him being the sensible one.

no need to be brave by teaspoon/ @standback (Post-S5E13, Friends to Lovers | 4K | Explicit): It should be weird, probably, that he’s let Buck take on this role in their lives. And it should be monumental, even earth-shattering, to realize that if anything, Eddie just wants more. He wants to put his mouth on Buck’s birthmark, on his easy grin, at the dip of his throat. He wants to drag Buck into his bed and keep him there. Suddenly, the idea of not seeing Buck for two days makes him want to punch a wall. Again.

The Other Thing by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP, Friends to Lovers | 4K | Explicit): Eddie is blushing, and it's one of the prettiest sights Buck has ever seen, and he'll blame that completely for the next thing that comes out of his mouth. "Do you want me to do it again?"

I mustache you a question by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): Eddie's life is in shambles. He grows a mustache. It, somehow, fixes everything.

I'll Take "Sounds I Wish I'd Never Heard" For $500, Alex by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Getting Together, Post-S7 | 5K | Teen): Buck hears the Grindr notification sound on Eddie's phone - several times - and inevitably has a crisis about it.

every time i don't (i almost do) by justhockey (Getting Together | 8K | Teen): Or, five times Eddie almost tells Buck that he loves him, and the one time he finally does.

🔥no one can be born too many times by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Ravi-centric, Post-S7 | 10K | Teen): When Ravi's younger brother shows up at the station unexpected, the 118 gets a better glimpse into his life, and Ravi gets a better perspective on both his families.

Seismic Shift by fraddit/ @fraddit (Post-S2E3: Help Is Not Coming, Canon Compliant | 10K | Teen): Why Buck drove Eddie to pick up Christopher following the earthquake and what happened after that.

🔥 If You Can Make the Music by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, | 14K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 5 (Seaside): A year after a whirlwind two week love affair with bartender Buck in Galveston, Texas, Eddie Diaz finds himself coincidentally relocating to the area. But when he attempts to reconnect with Buck, he's in for an unfortunate surprise. (Part 3 of Coma-Verse)

🔥shapes and spaces by prettyunhinged (POV Christopher, Getting Together | 14K | Teen): Christopher Diaz has two dads. He's had two dads for almost as long as he can remember. The only problem? His dads haven’t quite worked that out for themselves… yet. or Five times Christopher calls Buck his dad to other people, and the one time he finally gets to say it to Buck.

All The Pieces Last Forever by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Werewolf Eddie, Fae Buck | 19K | Teen): Eddie Diaz is a capable werewolf; he has a son to raise and a pack to take care of and that's enough. Evan Buckley is an unassuming fae, just trying to keep his head down, do his job, and get by each day. It isn't meant to mean anything when they finally meet. Because werewolves and fae don't belong together, right?

🔥 if you have something to say, you should say it right now by andtimestoodstill/ @andtimestoodstill (Canon, S2-S7 , Getting Together | 13K | Teen): Buck turned in his seat to flash Chris a smile. “We’ve arrived at your destination, good sir.” Chris giggled effusively, kicking his feet again. “Thanks for the ride, Buck,” Eddie said, climbing out of the passenger seat. “Say goodbye,” he told Chris. Buck held his fist out for Chris to bump, getting caught off-guard by the way the seven-year-old wrapped both arms around the back of Buck's seat in a hug instead. Chris pulled away, million-watt smile on his face. “Thanks, Buck. It was nice meeting you.” “You too, Chris,” Buck replied, a little breathless. (Or, Six Conversations in Cars) (Part 1 of moment of honesty)

🔥 sit right here and tell you all that comes to me by andtimestoodstill/ @andtimestoodstill (Post-S7, Coming Out | 30K | Mature): Eddie couldn’t look at the sympathetic tilt of Frank’s eyebrows for another second, so he trained his gaze over Frank’s shoulder. Ever since Chris had left, it had felt like the earth had stopped spinning. But as he looked out the window behind Frank, Eddie could see evidence of the world relentlessly marching on. If he stood up to get a better view, Eddie would probably be able to see Buck’s Jeep in the parking lot below. He’d dropped him off forty minutes ago and promised to be there when Eddie was done. (Or, Seven Conversations on Couches) (Part 2 of moment of honesty)

🔥my mind feels like a foreign land by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Canon Divergent - Ghost Whisperer Buck, S2 | 41K | Mature): Buck & Maddie can see spirits; not that Buck ever told anyone he could. As he settles more into firefighting, Buck's quickly realising that ignoring them isn't going to work anymore. Maybe he should've gotten the basics from Grandma after all; then again, he's always been good at winging it.

🔥Second Best by Nejinee/ @nejineeee (A/B/O AU, FWB | 51K | Explicit): Eddie has convinced himself that helping Buck through his heat was perfectly normal behaviour between friends. It didn’t mean anything.

🔥Project: Rocket Kismet - Eddie vs. the Universe by AnnaNSmith/ @annansmith (Post-S4, Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie are straight. Until they aren't...

🔥loves a game, wanna play? by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7, Love Island AU | 57K | Mature): In the aftermath of Chris leaving for the summer, Buck convinces Eddie they should apply for Love Island together.

across the stars by ummrys/ @ummrys (The Martian AU | 76K | Teen): Or, NASA astronaut Evan Buckley is presumed dead and abandoned on Mars. Despite everything, he lives to tell the tale.

🔥 Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 128K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

🔥 tell me about despair by hattalove/ @hattalove (S5, Eddie Character Study, Angst | 149K | Mature): eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place. except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too: it happens when you gnaw a hole in your lip trying to keep quiet only to have the words escape; when you realize that the ghost you've been seeing out of the corner of your eye is yourself; when your best friend smiles, and you allow it to take your breath away. it happens through the smallest of things: bird feeders, and cacti, and pasta shapes.

WIP

🔥 Long Death by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7, Vampire AU | 10/14 | 45K | Explicit): In the summer of 2024, a never before seen form of vampirism breaks out in Los Angeles. Just as Eddie is about to get his son back. Six months later, Buck's life is permanently changed.

drift past the flowers. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, (Un)requited Love | 13/14 | 41K | Teen): OR Buck and Natalia get engaged, and Eddie flees the state about it. A petty email correspondence ensues.

E & E: A Buddie Drabble Collection by Tizniz (Prompt fic | 106/? | 23K | General): A collection of drabbles for Buck and Eddie.

Weary Memory by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Buck&Bobby, Post-S7 | 1/4 | 2K | Teen): After an argument about the circumstances of Bobby's sudden retirement, Buck and Bobby each find themselves inexplicably experiencing one of the other's difficult childhood memories.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 15/21 | 75K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

Podfic

🔥[podfic] everything’s growing in our garden by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Pre-Buddie, Post-S7 | 20-30min | Teen): or, eddie’s growing a garden. buck might be the most firmly planted thing in it. 

[lumibuns-blog]

First time with Leon S. Kennedy<3

-just to be clear it's Leon's first time but not yours-

I'm back on my whiny sub Leon soapbox because he is perfect in every way🤞

It's not as if Leon hadn't wanted to do things with someone else, it's just his life hadn't really allowed it, between missions and saving the world, he hadn't found someone he was willing to share that moment with until he met you.

You made him feel things he hadn't felt before... a stirring heat that he at first didn't recognize but came to love. How looking at you, your curves, your face, the way his head began to spin when you bit your lips and sneaked a smirk at him, because you new how flustered it made him.

Actually you seemed to know everything about him, what made him loose his mind.

That's exactly what got him into this situation.

His hands ghosted over your ass, fingers just barely touching it through your silk dress. He was kneeling on his knees in front of you, his chin resting on your stomach so he was looking up at you, and that same devious smile that rested on your face.

He had been attempting to put his shoes on so you two could go for a night out, but seeing him in a loose button down shirt gave you other plans.

You moved your hand down to cup his cheek and stroke it the your thumb.

"What do you want" you asked simply

"Wha-what?" Leon breathed

"Do you want this?"

"I-I'm sorry I don't understand" Leon had an idea of what you were trying say and prayed to god that he was right.

"Do you want me?" You asked a final time

Leon's eyes widened and his breath hitched

"So bad" he replied breathlessly

"Good" you smirked turning away and causing him to stumble slightly

He looked up at you, eyes wide

"Well what are you waiting for?" You asked turning back around to face him

He immediately scrambled to his feet, kicking off the shoes he had been attempting to put on what felt like hours ago.

"Wait just a second" he began, standing behind you "I mean I think I know what you mean but it's just that Idon'twanttomakeyouuncomfortableor anythi-hmmpf!"

You cut his off by crashing your lips against his, locking your heels around his torso and grinding yourself against his noticeably hard cock, throwing your weight on him and causing him to stumble backwards and fall onto the couch.

"I though a special agent would be better with his balance" you teased

"I-I normally am it's just-ah! Fuuuck, y-you're hips..." he stammered

"I know handsome" you chuckled

You felt his cock twitch underneath you 'had such a light comment really turned him on?' You wonder

You slowly rolled you hips over his, grinding you bare cunt over his clothed tip, as you had forgone underwear underneath your dress.

"Ah! Mmh-" he stammered again

You began to slowly move off his lap,

"Wai-wait- n-need you- please" his choked out, unable to stand the sudden absence of pressure

"Be patient" you smiled, your voice like a song that made him loose all sense of reason

You slipped the straps of your dress off your shoulders and slowly let it fall to the floor, revealing you fully nude figure to him

There was moment of silence before

"Wow." Leon said breathlessly, his mouth wide

'This man look so serious but is acting like such a nerd' you giggled to yourself

"What's so funny" he questioned, unable to take his eyes from your tits

"Oh nothing" you sighed moving back to his lap

You hovered you hips over his not giving him the pressure he so obviously desired. You watched as he instinctively began to buck his hips upward, craving your touch.

You decided to give him what he wanted, dropping you hips down suddenly onto him.

"Oh sh-s-shit" he looked as if he was holding his breath before he let it out and his hips convulsed slightly underneath you.

"I didn't know you were so sensitive" you teased

"I'm not-it's just- it's y-you" he was so cute when he could barely get the words out

You suddenly grabbed his hand and cupped it around one of your breasts.

His breath hitched again, he seemingly froze, hand twitching and eyes locked onto your chest for several moments.

"Ya know you can-" you placed your hand back on his and guided him to gently squeeze you

His ruff hands felt nurturing yet strong, you couldn't help but slip out a small moan

His eyes immediately locked onto you face, eyes wide, as if he was in a trance, he immediately squeezed you again and moaned when you gave the same reaction.

Gaining sudden confidence he moved his mouth to your other fit and began to slowly lick around its center

"Fu-ck Leon what are you-doing" you asked, surprised he even knew what to do

He released your breast from his mouth to look up at you and breathlessly stammer "pl-please- I want to hear you- uh-moan like that a-again"

"Mmmhp" you hummed letting him get back to work and relish in all the noises you were making for a while before you shifted back removing him from his new found heaven, between you tits

"Nhmmmh" he whined at the loss of contact once again

"Be patient" you hushed once more moving your hands to fumble with the zipper of his dress pants

"Wha-what are you-?"

You cut him off "don't you want to fuck me?" You said promptly

He looked at you once more with those wide eyes "s-so soooo bad"

"Then get those pants off" you smirked

He immediately rushed to sink his pants down to his ankles taking his boxers with them and allowing his fully stiffened cock to spring free

He groaned as you looked at the precum beading from his head

You positioned yourself about him, hovering your cunt just above his tip

Leon looked up at you like you were god, at that moment, feeling you was all that mattered

You lowered yourself so his tip was barley coated in you slik

"Oh god- f- mrmpff- p- please" he cried, throwing his hands back into the top of the couch

"I'm not going to tell you again Leon, be patient" you smiled devilishly

"Y-yes- anything, I promise-just-just"

You suddenly dropped fully into him, breathing out a long moan as his size stretched you perfectly.

Leon threw his head back "ah-ah- oh fuck- you feel-" he could barely get the words out "fuck you're so w-warm- you're squeezing my cock- ah!" He yelped as you began to rock back and forth slowly

"P-please- just wait-" he breathed

"Is something wrong?" You asked concerned

"N-no it's just...you feel so, soooo good- I- I don't want to cum b-before you" he admitted, embarrassed "it's like- I mean - this is better- than ANYTHING" he grunted

"Oh Leon" you smiled leaning in close to his ear so your breath tickled at his neck "that's exactly what I want"

"Hah-ah fuck-" Leon started as you began to move your hips at an unrelenting pace

Relishing in the fact that he seemed to choke every time you arched your back.

You could feel his tip kissing your cervix every time you sunk back down onto his length, and your own release building up inside of you.

By the looks of it, Leon was lost in the pleasure, stringing together versions of your name and every curse word he could think of

"Pleasepleasepleasepleas--let me cum- ah- you feel- so fucking good- mmhh- squeezing me like that" he cried out

You leaned towards his ear once more, "I want you to cum baby, cum with me"

That's all it took,

"Ah-ah-ah cumming" he said as his hips faltered and he began to shoot rope after rope of his load into you.

Feeling his hot cum made pushed you over the edge, and you drenched his cock, causing his to lurch forward and wrap his arms around you to pull you against his bare chest.

You both sat there breathlessly, pressing against each other. After what was to Leon "not long enough" you slid yourself off of him, watching him shiver and gasp as you did.

You sat there on his lap, taking in his fucked out expression, ecstasy written all over his face.

After a moment he brought his arms up to you and pulled you into a warm embrace on your shared couch,

"D-did I do good?" He asked quietly

"Are you kidding, you were perfect" you smile at him "maybe I'll let you be on top next time" you giggle

"Really" he gaped at you, honest excitement in his eyes

"Really"



[bidisasterevankinard]

Buck breakdown meta(+ a little bit of divorce 2.0 era)

“Did you know you were clinically dead for three minutes?” - “Bobby” from Buck’s coma dream or Buck’s part of the brain that always helps him to find the answers (6x11)

“Buck, you died” - Maddie(6x12), Bobby (6x14)

“You died, Buck” Eddie (6x12)

Before I started this meta I remembered these three (well, technically four but how you can see Maddie and Bobby said the same thing) times someone said in real words what happened with Buck, what exactly he experienced in his life, how he lost it. Because it wasn’t just “an accident on the job”(Buck 6x14), not even a near death experience Buck had in his life before(and not once), because Buck is indeed a good “friend” and “old acquaintance”(Buck 6x15) with death since he was born (as a donor to dying child) and not just “for a moment” how he believes. But I haven’t remembered Buck himself (not a coma Bobby), especially after he woke up and “started his healing” (the lyrics of the song right before we see Buck after hospital in 6x11) saying it. And I really thought aha, you sneaky boy, you haven’t really recovered as you never even said “I died”. But he actually said it once, but, to whom do you think he said it? 

To his sister who raised him as a parent and said “Buck, you died”? No. 

To his father figure who he knows was praying to God sitting in his room, thinking  his another child is dying and he can’t AGAIN do something? To the man who was cradling him like a baby to put him on a gurney and wanted to take it easy on him in 6x14 because “Buck, you died”? No. 

To his best friend, to whom he ran to hide from his sister’s fussing? To the man on whose couch he fell asleep seconds after sitting on it? To the man who tried hard to support him, how Buck supported him during his breakdown? No. 

He said it to the woman he never met before (btw Natalia is cute and it’s not her bashing post. so DO NOT DO IT IN TAGS PLEASE), just a matter of factly, when helped her with her injury because he heard that she is “death doula”(but before it, he tries to say it in the other words)

But even to her he says it ONLY THIS ONE MOMENT. When they met again he spoke about his death experience in the pattern we saw before.

And this pattern is : “When i woke up,” “I woke up in a world” “I recovered” “accident on the job”,  joking with Maddie, “it’s all a gift” or with Eddie not even himself in 6x12 talking about HIS death experience. With Eddie he asks about shooting, but Eddie makes it a conversation about “You died, Buck”.

Buck doesn’t like when people talk about death, showing him their grief, so he tries to talk about his new life. He jokes, or moves the conversation to the point of talking about his new life, new possibilities for him, about how he processes he is still here, but NOT HOW HE DIED. Buck refuses to process that he died. Yeah, it happened, he knows everyone grieved him, but he refuses to talk about how it changed him and others. He just wants to accept changes not to “act” like an “old same Buck”(Buck 6x15) for everyone, but to be a new Buck. And who is perfect to make him think about not his death, but about how many new experiences he can have, if not the person who is amazed by his death, who thinks it is “cool” he had the opportunity to experience it and get back, if not the person who never grieved him? Natalia wasn’t around to see him dead, she wasn’t the one who saved him. And Buck knows his family had to see him like that and act to save him, but he can’t think about it. He concentrates on good things, on being alive, on moving forward, to see “what’s next” for him. And he refuses to look and speak about what happened before it, to really move from it. 

But I think we all remember how Maddie said that Buck is more than good at pretending that he is ok(4x4). Remember how in therapy he said “You said, I hide my true feelings from others. You might be right”, but then what happened? Oh yeah “new Buck 3.0” and him forgiving his parents for going to therapy with him. Because he hides it not just from others, but from himself too. Acting as Buck 1.0, 2.0, etc. Buck knows how to repress his feelings and move on to a new stage. How to act as a new Buck, not just for everyone, but for himself too. How to believe he is ok. 

And he for years was mistaken or even hiding a lot of his feelings, so it’s not hard for him to play like he moved on. And on the way to make everyone, except one person who till the last moment (cemetery seen) tried to make Buck talk about his death. Who was the last person to say it to Buck, who used death, and died, in one conversation right to the point till Buck with his words “She sees me. like she really sees me for who I am and what I’ve been through. I think she might even see more in me than I see in myself” almost stopped him. He stops for a moment. Tries to play with Buck on his rules, tries to wait for Buck again how he did in 6x12, but tries one more time to make Buck talk about death.

“You cheated death”

But Buck speaks about life. About lightning. About his new life being a gift.

“My life could have ended right then and there,but it didn’t. That has to mean something, right?” (Buck looks at Eddie because even closing himself he still need Eddie)

“It means you are one lucky guy”(Eddie does’t not look at him)

“Yeah, well, I don't think I’m gonna get that lucky again.”

“We, maybe you don’t have to. Lightning doesn’t strike twice at the same place.”

“Which is why I have to make the most of every single moment. Because from here right now out it's all a gift”

And after that, Eddie, who thought he could give Buck the same “shoulder to cry on” and “sit with you” while you experience bad moments, stopped doing it. He looked at Buck and saw the man he saw, the man he thinks doesn’t need his help. Because Buck doesn’t look affected as Eddie expected him to be. Buck overplayed Eddie with his tires to prove he is ok. Eddie believed him. But also he heard that he is not that Buck needs to feel ok. He needs not that Eddie expected he would need (talks about his death and Eddie’s help), but someone else living with Buck his life and Eddie understood that Buck doesn’t need him at all.Not in the way he needed the man a year ago, crushing his room. And the feeling of loneliness he started to experience while he gave Buck time to come to him, before Buck pushed him away when he wasn't ready in the cemetery, just became all consuming. Because now Eddie believes Buck never needed him, how Eddie needs him. But the thing is, Buck needs him. He just pushed Eddie from him, because he feels that it’s dangerous to look at his death, because he doesn't want to be a burden, because he doesn't want to run in a circle of “someone loves me when I’m in pain” he did all his childhood. He doesn't want to experience love when he is broken, so he closes his death deep inside him, in a box. But we know how boxes explode if it’s too many things inside. 

And let’s think that Buck has in his box: childhood of neglect, truck bombing, tsunami and embolism, well and shooting, ambulance hostage situation, Bobby shot, Maddie almost killed by Doug, the secret about Daniel being revealed, and then his real death. All it packed neat inside him, never spoken about. And after shooting we never heard him talking about therapy again. So Buck acts as a “new Buck” ALL THE TIME. Buck 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 it’s a proof. And he is just ready to be another “new Buck”, but others don't, because to see the new Buck they should fully grieve the old Buck. But Buck doesn’t want them to grief, he wants to joke and move on and that’s why he is feeling like he should stay “same old Buck”, act the same, but IT’S A PROBLEM. Because old Buck can’t help to mask the pain and fear from the death he experienced. Old Buck never looked at his life as a “gift”. This old Buck can’t help Buck to hide under this mask of everything being fine. And let’s nor forget how old Buck tried hard to find HAPPINESS. OLD BUCK WASN’T HAPPY. But the new Buck should be. He is still alive. His life has ended yet. But has he found his answer for happiness after death when Lev did it? No. 

Buck's answer for happiness wasn’t shown, which means he tries to be happy, but he still doesn’t know HOW. And on the way he pushed his best friend from him, starting their as we call it in a fandom “divorce era 2.0”. Because it is what Buck does when he feels trapped (lawsuit waves at us). When Buck thinks he needs other things, not that others try him to do, speak about, heal properly before move on, not just “rush with his head first”, he pushes everyone from himself (yes yes boy with abandonment issue does it, but it is easier this way). In the lawsuit it was easier to blame Bobby, right now he ofc doesn’t blame Eddie, but he also doesn’t want Eddie to constantly talk about his death. So he pushed Eddie from himself. 

So Buck can’t hide behind old, and new Buck is not something his family is ready to see, and it’s still an act. Buck is on the edge of breaking, and I’m sure in 7s it will happen. After Bobby's near death or maybe something else, but it will break him. 

Now Eddie. Eddie, who already felt kind of alone, started his journey of trying to find someone who makes him feel not alone anymore. Who will make him feel enough. Because for Shannon, for Buck he wasn’t(at least it’s how he sees it). 

That’s how he sees the cemetery. Buck pushes because Eddie is too much for him at this moment, because he isn't ready (something something “you need to move on. I did.” Eddie himself pushed Buck from himself when he wasn’t ready, but he thought if he would make Buck talk NOW Buck wouldn't break like him.) Buck wasn’t ready to be supported by Eddie, because he never was supported like that (Eddie wasn’t in a place to really support him after the fire truck. don't even start. Eddie was deep into his grief and “suck it up and move on” era to really support Buck on this deep mental level). But Eddie was finally in the place to give this support, and he felt like it’s not enough. So he dates, he meets Marisol. He opens himself to the world and new opportunities. Maybe even starting something serious in season 7, when Buck goes deeper and deeper in his own grief and pain of losing the life he had, of losing the part of himself, of not knowing who he is right now, how he should act. 

Now we add Bobby’s and Athena’s water related near death experience and … BOOM. Buck is broken, a crying mess. Because he feels grief and fear of losing people he loves so hard, and he can’t imagine who they felt, and he can’t even say what the fuck is the answer to happiness. He doesn’t remember his death, but he remembers his coma, he remembers how he woke up, he remembers old him, but who is new Buck? To this we also add that he feels that his best friend pushed him away, not understanding he did it first(because he did it subconsciously trying to hide from his feelings).

Buck will break in season 7, because it's long overdue. He has so many things he never “allowed to feel it” before moving on. They can’t just stay forever inside him. “At some point that box is going to blow open. And take everyone around you”. Eddie was ready to support Buck and eventually in season 7 Buck would need it and Eddie would see that Buck needs him, he never allows himself to ask, to see what and who he needs. Buck always tries to look at himself through other people's eyes, still tries with Natalia. Maybe look at himself thought Eddie’s feel help him to see something new

Why I also see the possible divorce era 2.0 it’s because we started and continued 6s with domestic Buckley-Diaz scenes but scenes 6x13 Buck wasn't even talking about Chris. So I see it as a possible proof of divorce era, but after new stills I’m not so sure anymore

[eternalbuckley]

Insecurities. — evan buckley

SUMMARY: Reader gets insecure about their body after meeting Taylor Kelly. Buck is their to comfort them and tell them how beautiful they are.

word count: 1,166

genre: fluff, comfort | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: a tiny bit of angst, heavy fluff, reader being insecure about their body, mention about weight lose, mention of comments from bullies, established relationship, use of pet names (babe, darling, my love), english is not my first language — if i forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: Thank you for this request anon, I'M SO SORRY tumblr deleted your request (i didn't know it would happen if you put in in your drafts.. guess i learned something new) but I still hope you'll find this story. I hope you had an amazing day as well! This topic is a very important one for me and I'm super sorry that it's so short but I still like the end result and I truly hope you'll like it. Might write more stories that are about comfort in the future soon! Enjoy reading 🫶

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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Why was she so beautiful? Or is? Why would he be with you? He could go back to her immediately. Or even back to anyone else he dated so far or could date.

'She is prettier than you anyway,' you kept asking yourself these questions while you were standing in front of your mirror and looking at your body.

She’s skinnier than you, why would he be with someone like you? Taylor Kelly seemed to be perfect and you thought you were not.

“She’s so gorgeous…” you mumbled to yourself with tears in your eyes.

You slowly started sobbing more and tried to ignore your insecure thoughts but they were too much. You didn’t like your body, being plus size was always something you knew most of society wouldn’t accept. ‘You have to be skinny to get men’s attention’, ‘Be pretty’, ‘Don’t be fat’, ‘If you’re plus size you’re ugly’ and so much more. It was exhausting, especially hearing comments like these in your teenage years. They always made you insecure and you ended up crying in your room many many times. You didn’t know what to do and nothing ever helped. You tried a lot of ways to lose weight and get skinnier but nothing worked. People made fun of you for that and since then you never really got over your insecurities.

How can be the world such a cruel place for something you can’t control?

You didn’t want to let stupid comments from those people ruin your life. But your insecurities came back after you recently met Taylor Kelly, one of your boyfriends, ex-girlfriends.

You knew what she looked like from seeing her on your TV but in reality, she was much more beautiful and skinnier than you. And that made you insecure. You didn’t exactly know what happened between her and Buck and why they broke up. But if you would only go after looks, she would win against you. At least that’s what you kept thinking about yourself.

Buck on the other hand was the happiest person on earth knowing he had you on his side. It has been almost two years since you officially got into a relationship and he has been the happiest since then. He always made sure to compliment you every single day. Whether it was in person or over texts but he never forgot. Not one day. He loved seeing you blushing over his compliments and genuinely being happy about his words. They let you feel better. He just didn’t know how insecure it made you meeting Taylor, not yet.

Buck came up behind you and kissed your cheek. He wrapped his arms around you and eventually noticed the tears in your eyes and your sobs.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” He turned you around and hugged you.

You snuggled up into him and hid your face in his chest without answering his question. You finally let go of your tears and cried in his arms. He whispered sweet nothings to you and rubbed your back to comfort you. He sat down with you on your shared bed and let you cry it all out. Buck always wanted to make sure that you feel loved and comfortable in his presence. But one thing that was really important to him, was to give you always the time you need. It didn’t matter for what reason. If it was just for you to get ready for a date or even giving you all the time to feel comfortable around him. He would always wait for you. Which wasn’t the easiest part for you as well but you trusted Buck with your life. You loved him and how happy he made you. How he made sure that you feel completely safe with him. You admired this side of him the most.

You eventually stopped sobbing after some time and slowly got calm. You still didn’t let go of him but he tried to ask you again about the reason for your current emotional state.

You sighed, your voice was still trembling. “Taylor Kelly…”

He furrowed his eyebrows and tried to look at you but you still hid your face in his chest. “What about her? Did she say something to you? Do I need to talk with her to leave you alone? Did she-“

“No, no,” you slightly chuckled about his protective side and turned your head to look at him. “I just- Have you seen her? She’s gorgeous, Buck. Look at how skinny she is compared to me. I’m just me and she? She’s Taylor Kelly. A beautiful and no plus-sized girl. Like… Why are you with me? You could have her or any other person that is skinnier than I am, Buck.”

Your insecurities were growing again while you were looking at your boyfriend. You saw his admiring eyes but speaking your insecurity out loud was hard. That’s probably a reason you spoke faster than usual. His eyes showed a hint of sadness, about your words. Hearing you talking about yourself in that way hurt him because he didn't want that you are hurting. Buck knew about your past and what your former classmates did and said to you, he thinks it's horrible and you would never deserve that. No one would. Bullying is one of the worst things someone can experience and seeing what this can do to people hurts him the most. Especially seeing his most important person (you) like that. Buck wished he could take away all your pain and turn it into something beautiful.

Buck kissed your forehead, “And I absolutely don’t care about this at all. I have the most beautiful person sitting in my arms right now. And let me tell you, every time I look at this person my heart swells so badly because of all the love my heart holds for that one special person. That is sitting in my arms by the way, in case I didn’t mention that already.” He took a breath. “And I love them with my entire life, no one can compare to them at all. They’re the definition of beauty.”

Tears build up in your eyes again and you kissed his jaw. Buck chuckled and nudged your nose.

“I would never want to be with Taylor or any other person just because they look different than you. I really don’t care about this, my love. I only care about you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the most beautiful and kind person I’ve ever seen and no one can ever compare to you. I love you and nothing can and will ever change that.”

He eventually softly kissed you on the lips which caused a smile on yours.

“I love you too, Buck. And I never want to lose you," your voice was still a bit weak.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. You won’t get rid of me that easily, darling.” He grinned at you and kissed your nose afterwards.

[footprintsinthesxnd]

Chapter 5: The Dangerous Skies

Gale Cleven × Hope Armstrong (ofc)

Series Masterlist

This story is based on on the fictional portrayal of these men from the MOTA to series.

This chapter has been a while in the making and a small idea that erupted into a whole lot of chaos. Please comment and reblog and let us know what you think.

Summary: After an accident causes Gale to realise how precious, he decides to make the most of everyday with the woman he loves. While John realises how he really feels about Ruth.

Collab: A Pair of Silver Wings by @major-mads

Monday, August 23, 1943: Thorpe Abbotts AAF Base, Norwich

Regensburg, Germany…the mission that earned the Hundredth its nickname was finally over.

Nine forts lost.

Ninety men gone just like that.

Ninety boys who would not return to their families.

Among these ninety men was Curt. Buck and John were still in shock when their small group of officers tiredly pushed through the doors into their nissen hut. A few beds were made with fresh sheets, all remnants of their previous owners long gone.

Gale flopped down on his bunk, throwing his kitbag down beside him. There was a small stack of letters on his nightstand and he stretched over the bed, his fingers grasping at the string that bound them together. His fingers running over the familiar return address as he tore open the first letter from Hope, his eyes scanning over her words quickly, desperate to know what she had written. He still had her picture from the plane tucked firmly into his pocket, he wasn’t about to leave her behind in Africa.

August 17th 1943

To my dearest Gale,

I can’t even begin to explain how worried I am about you. Ruth and I barely slept last night, thinking of you both preparing for your mission. I did not think it was possible to miss someone so much and after only a few hours apart as I write this. I miss you Gale. Today was perfect and I wish I could live there forever, in your arms by the river, with Meatball too of course.

The radio is playing our song right now. Well, I call it our song “You’ll Never Know” which is a strange choice for our song maybe because I only hope you do know just how much I love you. I wish you were here now to sing it with me.

I have been thinking about our lives after this war. When we get home. I saw how you were with Meatball the other day and I think our first order of business as a married couple should be to get a dog. Just think of all the walks we could go on, just the three of us. Life would be so perfect.

The only comfort I can find is knowing that I’ll be there with you on your mission, and not just my picture but I’ll be with you in spirit all the way there and back. And I know you will come back. I have asked Hugh to keep you safe and I know that you will look out for him too. I never realised how hard it would be to have both of you in harms way. I can only hope that his stubbornness and your skills will bring you both safely home to me. You mean the world to me Gale.

Yours forever

Hope

Gale smiled fondly, his eyes lingering on ‘yours forever’. He still wasn’t sure how he’d ended up with someone as amazing and kind as Hope, but he thanked God every night for bringing her to him. The second letter was addressed August 19th, just two days after the previous letter and Gale smirked, knowing that Hope didn’t want to seem desperate but she was just as worried as he was.

Dear Gale,

It’s been exactly two days, four hours and twenty four minutes since I last wrote to you and I couldn’t contain myself any longer.

She was counting down the days. Gale's heart swelled at the thought of her, sitting at the desk in the corner of the girls room, her pen sitting between her lips as she pondered what to write.

Somehow parting with you this time was so much worse than any of the others. It’s like I left a piece of my heart at Thorpe Abbott with you. I hope you’re keeping my heart safe wherever you are because I need you to bring it back to me.

Ruth has already begun to design her bridesmaid dress for our wedding and I fear she has broken the news to John already, I hope that doesn’t put you in a bind or anything. I think she is as excited as I am. Frank has also been enquiring into wedding planning. I feel like they will have planned the whole event before we are even officially engaged.

Mrs Hope Cleven does have a nice ring to it. I’ve also thought more about the situation of a dog once we are back in the states and I like the sound of a spaniel. They have the sweetest little faces and the biggest droopy ears. I can’t stop imagining the three of us exploring the country together.

I apologies if I’m getting ahead of myself. I know you haven’t officially proposed and you must think me a foolish girl for talking about it so much, but it’s the only thing that gets me through each day without you. The only thing that gets me into our plane in the morning is the thought of you and one day being in your arms once more.

On another note, I hope Hugh is keeping out of trouble. I’m afraid he’s been drawn to it since he was a boy creating havoc wherever he went. You’re lucky he likes you, otherwise I’m afraid he would be giving you hell.

Come back to me Gale. I love you.

Yours forever

Hope

The third letter soon followed, dated August 21st.

To my dearest Gale,

I’m sorry for sending so many letters. I’m sure you are so busy so please do not feel obliged to reply to them all separately. I find writing to you helps calm my nerves, it’s the only way I feel close to you when you are not here.

“So what’s this I hear you’re engaged to my sister?” Gale’s head shot up and he came face to face with Hugh, who was staring blankly at him. He couldn’t read his emotions and didn’t know whether he was happy or he was about to punch Gale in the face. Swallowing hard, Gale nodded slowly, eyeing his fellow pilot cautiously until a wide grin broke out across Hugh’s face and he jumped up, moving to sit next to Gale on his bunk.

“I’m so happy for you, Gale. Good luck with that one, she acts all sweet and innocent but she’s a wild card. You know what I told you about Kansas City.”

Gale laughed, relieved that Hugh wasn’t about to try and murder him.

“So, have you got a ring?” Hugh cocked an eyebrow at him and Gale shook his head.

“No, not yet. I haven’t even officially asked her,” Gale sighed, suddenly feeling guilty that he’d somehow lied to her by not actually asking her.

“Well, then you are in luck because I do,” Hugh stood up from the bed and moved over to his own, rummaging in the bedside cabinet for a few minutes, while Gale looked on confused.

“Ah ha!” Hugh called out triumphantly, his hand clasped around a small black box which he quickly placed in Gale’s hand.

“What’s this?” Gale glanced down it the box, running his thumb over the round, leather box.

“That, Gale, is an engagement ring,” Hugh grinned, seemingly impressed with himself for producing a ring out of thin air.

“But why have you got an engagement ring?” Gale glanced up at Hugh, watching as his face fell a little.

“Well, it’s a long story. There was a girl back in the States, I thought she was the one. Turns out while I was training to fly B17s, she was making her way around all the single men in town. My parents were less than impressed when they found out. But I already had a ring so I bought it with me.”

Gale chuckled, “So you bought an engagement ring to war just in case?”

Hugh nodded, “Pretty much. Well, it came in use right, now you can give it to Hope.”

Gale shook his head, pushing the box back into Hugh’s hand, “I can’t take this. It’s your ring.”

Hugh passed the box back to Gale, shaking his head, “But I want you to have it. I have no use for it and anyway, I know Hope will love it because she helped me pick it out in the first place.” Hugh lay his hand on Gale’s back. “Take it, please.”

Gale smiled weakly, opening up the box and revealing a small gold band with intricate silver weaving on either side and a diamond on top. “Alright, thanks, Hugh.” He shook his fellow pilot's hand, and Hugh grinned happily back at him.

“Welcome to the family, Cleven.”

“Got any big news you wanna share with the class, Buck?” John asked from his bed, raising his eyebrows at Gale while holding up a letter.

Gale confusedly looked over at him. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Rolling his eyes at Hugh, Buck sauntered over to John, standing over him with hands on his hips. “What are you talking about?”

“Mrs. Hope Cleven,” the older man grinned. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

A bashful smile appeared on Gale’s face. “I’ve got a ring and everything, now. It’ll be after all this is over.”

Standing to his feet, Bucky pulled him into a tight hug and lifted him off the ground. “Whenever it happens, I better be the best man! That’s all I’m sayin’.”

“Yeah, yeah, you will be,” Buck chuckled as John put him down, releasing him from his grip. “Just don’t tell Hugh that.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Hugh shouted across the officer's hut causing Gale to groan.

“Well, it makes sense. I am Buck’s best friend,” John retorted, sending a sly smirk Hugh’s way which only riled the man further.

“Yeah, and Hope’s my sister. I’m his future brother-in-law.”

Gale stepped back as Hugh stomped over to them, coming chest to chest with John who just continued to playfully glare down at him.

“So what? You're a St. Louis fan,” Bucky pointed at him, a grin tugging at his lips. “That instantly makes you not best man material.”

Hugh snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, and I suppose you being a great Yankees fan makes you the right choice, huh?”

“Absolutely,” John replied matter of factly. “How can you cheer for a team who lost 11-3 to the Pirates? The Pirates.”

“At least we didn’t get shut out by the Indians.”

Gale knew this wasn’t going to end well. No one could insult the Yankees and get away with that in John’s eyes...except for Ruth, of course. Before John could find a comeback, Gale stepped up, moving to stand between the two men.

“Now, now. I’m not having you two fighting over being my best man. If it’s that much of a problem I’ll make Demarco my best man and Meatball can be the ring bearer.”

Neither of the men seemed too pleased with that outcome.

“Not Demarco!”

“Yes Demarco.”

John groaned, pursing his lips, and Hugh remained silent, looking at the ground solemnly at their childish behaviour.

“You should choose whoever you want to be your best man, but-” John began with a nod before Hugh interrupted.

“Yeah pick who you want, Gale. Hope will probably want me to walk her down the aisle anyway so I’ll probably be in the bridal party instead.”

John snickered with raised brows as he imagined Hugh in a bridesmaid’s dress, but he fell silent when Gale elbowed him in the ribs, glaring at him.

“Come here,” Bucky pulled Gale into another hug and slapped his friend’s back, “Congratulations Buck! You’re a helluva guy.”

“The best,” Hugh added.

As they stood there celebrating Buck’s life-changing news, the trio couldn’t help but think of their close friend who wasn’t. Their group got even smaller…

“Curt…he would,” John cleared his throat and nodded, forcing down the emotion that threatened to creep up his throat. “He would be happy for you, Buck.”

Gale’s eyes met Bucky’s and they mirrored the same emotions…hurt, regret, sadness. The men who came back never talked about those who didn’t, and both of them knew this was the one time they would.

“Yeah, he would,” Buck breathed, one side of his lips barely turning up into a mournful smile.

Silence filled the air around them there for a few moments, all three stuck in their minds until Gale spoke up.

“That from Ruth?” Buck asked, gesturing to the letter in Johnny’s hand.

He nodded once and sat down on his bunk with a soft smile, suddenly remembering the last half of Ruth’s letter he still had to read. “I’ve got another one to read after this one. Then I’ve gotta write her back.”

As Gale looked down at his friend’s lovesick gaze, he smiled to himself and shook his head. If someone had asked him if John Egan would be rushing to read love letters and send a response to a woman, one woman, whom he’d been exclusively seeing for over a month, Buck Cleven would’ve told them they were crazy.

“Tell her I said hello,” Gale said quietly, patting Johnny’s shoulder before returning to his bunk.

Saturday, August 28, 1944: Thorpe Abbotts AAF Base

John, Gale, and Hugh were riding from their nissen huts to the mess hall when the familiar roar of a C-47 filled the air. They were used to the sound meaning their girls were on base, and it filled them with excitement as they peddled faster to the landing strip.

“Did you know they were coming today?” Buck asked, quickly glancing over at Johnny and Hugh.

John shook his head, a lazy grin curving his lips. “No, Ruth didn’t mention it in her last letter.”

Nodding to himself, Gale couldn’t shake the feeling deep down that something was wrong. As they approached the airstrip, Colonel Harding appeared, calling out to John.

“Bucky! I need a minute,” he yelled from the balcony of the nearby flight tower.

Holding in a groan, Johnny nodded at Hugh and turned his bike toward the tower. “Tell Ruth I’ll see her in a minute.”

The boys had been thankful they didn’t have a mission that day, and instead spent their time on base with their girls. Gale and Hope had gone back to the officers Nissan hut and spent most of the day cuddling on the bed after their shower, happy to be back in each other's arms. Ruth and John had spent the rest of the day together too, giving Hope some time alone to recover, before coming back to the hut in the afternoon.

After Ruth and John left the Nissan hut, Gale found himself dozing once more, his eyes growing heavy as he fought off sleep. A light knock on the door roused him.

“Come in.”

A worried Hugh poked his head around the door, chewing his lip anxiously, a habit that Gale noticed Hope always did. “Can I come in?” He asked, glancing at his sleeping sister.

“Of course,” Gale waved him in and watched as his fellow pilot made his way over, flopping down on his cot beside them.

“How’s she doing?” Hugh found himself fighting the urge to brush the loose hair off Hope’s face, smiling when Gale did the same. It was unusual for an older brother to approve of his sister's choice of partner, but Hugh didn’t think that there was a more genuine, or honourable man out there than Gale Cleven.

“She’s doing okay. The morphine had helped, she was in a lot of pain earlier but she’s managed to get some rest,” Gale admitted, stroking her hair softly. He couldn’t help the gentle smile that formed on his lips every time he looked at her.

“That’s good then,” Hugh went to stand when he noticed the ring adoring Hope’s finger and a wide smile spread across his face. “You popped the question then.”

Gale smiled, “I did, and she said yes.”

Hugh laughed at the proud expression on Gale’s face. “Well I didn’t exactly expect her to say no. She’s all you talk about in her letters. Our parents are excited to meet you. She sent a picture of you home and if I remember correctly my mother thought you were ‘a fine young man’.” Hugh moved to rest his hand on Gale’s shoulder, “I’m real happy for you both, you deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks Charliee,” the two men kept eye contact until Hugh cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence. “I best be heading back. I promised Demarco I’d look after Meatball for a few hours.”

Gale nodded, “Feel free to bring Meatball by, I’m sure Hope would appreciate the visit. Our first order of business after the wedding is to get a dog.”

Hugh smirked, “Is it a spaniel by any chance? She’s always had a soft spot…”

“For the long fluffy ears,” Gale finished, “Yeah it is.”

Hugh snorted, “She’s got you wrapped around her little finger.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Gale glanced back down at Hope, she looked so peaceful that he hated to wake her. The door closing softly signaled Hugh leaving and Gale sighed, leaning back against his pillow.

He smoothed his hand over Hope’s head, brushing the soft locks away from her face, fingers tracing the pale flesh of her temples. His other hand remained firmly around hers, wrapping them close to his chest, over his heartbeat. He hadn’t truly processed how close he’d come to losing her today, if the shrapnel had gone any further to the left it would have hit her femoral artery and she’d have bled out before the plane even touched the tarmac. Gale shook the thought from his mind, trying to concentrate on Hope’s rhythmic breathing in time with his own. She’s alive. She’s still here.

Gale had known this war wouldn’t be easy, he’d known that he would lose people, friends, brothers, but he hadn’t banked on falling in love and he hadn’t banked on her being up in the air during combat like he was.

Hope snuggled deeper into his chest and Gale’s arm instinctively pulled her closer. They had survived another day: together.

Gale’s mind began to wonder as his eyes traced the elongated semicircles that lined the roof of the Nissen hut. Thinking back on happier times when the girls visiting the base meant that it was going to be a good day.

Hope sighed loudly, folding up the third crate of dressing material, and packing it into the smaller crates to be loaded onto their C47 later that afternoon. It was a tiresome, mind numbing job but someone had to do it. A loud crash, followed by a small whine caused Hope to shoot up for her seat, hurting towards the noise where she found a rather disheveled looking navigator sitting on the infirmary room floor.

“Oh you poor thing. Here come take a seat,” Hope ushered the rather green looking navigator towards the empty chair.

The man plonked himself down with a sigh, gratefully accepting the glass of water Hope offered to him.

“Whatever’s the matter…?” Hope asked, pausing as she realised she didn’t know the man’s name, although she recognised him from around the base.

“Oh Harry, Harry Crosby,” the man thrust his hand pathetically forward and Hope shook it carefully. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I'm normally fine once we’re in the air. All the boys will be rigging me later for being in dock again.”

Realising that this must be the navigator with air sickness she had heard about from the infirmary’s doctor, Hope sighed, “It’s alright. Everything’s different up there when you're in combat. It’s bound to play on your nerves,” Hope reassured him, smoothing the sweaty hair away from his forehead and placing a cool, wet cloth there instead.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Hope whispered, glancing over her shoulder jokingly to make sure no one else was around. “I used to get terribly air sick when I first started my flight training.”

“Really?” Harry asked in amazement, his large eyes staring back at her reminded Hope of an excitable child.

“Oh yeah, I was terrible. I took a bucket up with me on every flight and tried not to eat in the mornings but I was still sick, every damn time.”

Harry wrinkled his nose before asking, “But you're not sick anymore?”

“No. Not anymore, luckily. I don’t think I’d have made much of a flight nurse if I was being sick all the time.”

Harry looked down sadly at his map case, “I don’t suppose I make much of a navigator either.”

Hope pulled her chair closer to Harry’s, “Now you listen here. You are a fine navigator Harry Crosby. You navigated through flak fire and you bought all the boys home. That is not something to be snubbed at, understood.” Harry nodded quickly and Hope gave him a reassuring smile. “Good. I don’t want to hear any more negative talk, alright? You’re good at your job, Harry and with time the sickness will fade, I promise.”

Harry stayed a little longer until his nausea subsided and he finally felt well enough to leave the infirmary. Hope began to tidy away some bandages when Gale stuck his head around the door.

“Knock, Knock?”

“Hello Major, and what brings you down here today?” Hope asked, smiling brightly at him.

“Oh I’m just here to see the prettiest girl in all of England. Have you seen her around?” Gale asked, glancing quickly around the infirmary before his eyes returned to Hope’s.

“No, I'm afraid I can’t say I have. Better luck next time, Major.” Hope turned her back to move away from him but his hands quickly found her waist and he spun her around.

“Not so fast, Beautiful. I haven’t seen My Baby all day and I’ve missed you like crazy.”

“Your Baby, huh?”

“Well yeah. Well you see the plane is ‘Our Baby’ because the whole crew get her but only I get ‘My Baby’,” he nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck, his breath tickling her as he kissed her pressure point gently.

“Is that so?”

“Oh it is so.”

“Well then, there’s only one thing for it,” Hope pressed her lips firmly to his, weaving her fingers into his hair and pushing him towards the table. As the backs of his thighs came into contact with it, he sat down, allowing Hope the height advantage but allowing himself to wrap his arms tightly around her torso.

“Now this is what you call a welcome home,” he laughed between kisses, pulling Hope even closer so they could embrace. The table creaked beneath Gale’s wait but he was unphased, too preoccupied with holding his girl, to finally have her back in his arms, that’s all that mattered.

Gale smiled, eyes closed as the images of Hope’s smiling face filled his mind. She was here. She was safe and that’s all that mattered.

Hugh returned later that evening with food for the two couples and Meatball following along at his heels. The large husky made a beeline for Hope, greeting her at the side of the bed.

“Hey Meatball,” Hope mumbled, leaning as far as she could to ruffle the dogs fur. Meatball groaned when she began scratching his ear, he closed his eyes and tilted his head, expressing his enjoyment. “Who's a good boy?” Meatball hopped up on the bed, snuggling into Hope’s side.

“You can keep him if you want. The damn thing keeps howling. It’s driving me insane,” Hugh complained, passing Hope a bowl of steaming soup. “When Demarco gets back I’m giving him a piece of my mind, leaving me to mind his dog all afternoon.”

Hope accepted the soup gratefully, but could only manage a few mouthfuls until the wave of nausea washed over her once more, and she placed the bowl down.

“Ugh, I feel so sick.”

Gale was at her side in an instant, his hand resting on the small of her back as she bent over, head in her hands. Ruth looked anxiously at John from their seats on John’s bed and started to put down her bowl to help when Hope spoke up.

“It’s okay Gale, it’s just the morphine,” she reassured him, squeezing his hand, to which he pressed his lips to her shoulder blade.

Hugh sniggered, “He didn’t get you pregnant while I was away did he?”

“With us in here? Sounds like a nightmare,” John chuckled, rolling his eyes at the same time Ruth grimaced from beside him. She knew a signature Hope Armstrong comeback was incoming.

Hope glared at him,”The fact that you have so little knowledge on pregnancy concerns me for your future wife.”

Hugh stuck his tongue out in response, “That’s not a no though.”

The pillow from Gale’s bed was a near miss as it went sailing past Hugh’s head and he dodged it dramatically, glaring at his sister.

“Come on, with all the ‘Dear John’ letters Sparky gets, I’d be surprised if he ever settles down,” John joined in.

“Look who’s talking, Bucky,” Hugh retorted, pointing at Ruth with his spoon. “At least I got letters. You didn’t get a single one before Ruth came along.”

“Really?” Ruth asked quietly, surprise etched on her face.

The Major nodded with pursed lips, pushing the vegetables around his bowl before looking over at her with a small smile. “There was no one worth writing to.”

At his words, the blonde’s cheeks heated, and she got caught in his gaze.

From their position across the room, Gale and Hope watched the interaction with fond smiles, both happy to see their friends with someone who clearly adored them. But the moment was interrupted when Hugh burst out laughing.

“Well that didn’t stop you from-”

He was cut off when a pillow came sailing into the side of his face, knocking some of his soup onto his pants as the pillow fell to the bed. Hugh’s gaze flicked towards the cot the projectile came from, ready to yell at Hope, but what he wasn’t expecting was her wide eyes as she stared up at Buck in awe.

“Sorry, Charlie,” Buck shrugged. “It just slipped.”

Ruth and Hope broke into chuckles, but John just sent Gale a thankful glance. Bucky then turned his attention to Hugh, and the two pilots glared at each other, John frustrated about the comment, and Hugh still clearly sour over the best man situation. They soon gave up and went back to their soup.

After a few minutes

Once they’d finished their supper, a knock sounded at the door. “Everyone decent in there? Girls?”

Frank.

“Uh, yeah,” John called, lifting an eyebrow at Ruth.

The door swung open and the Captain walked in with his lips in a straight line. “Thought you two’d be in here,” he nodded before turning to Hope. “How’s the leg?”

“I’m okay. Still hurts like a bitch, though.”

“Did you get it checked?”

Her face shifted into a grimace at the question. “I took care of it.”

“You, Hope Armstrong,” he sighed. “Are the reason I drink.”

“You know you love us,” Ruth added, tilting her head with a grin.

Frank’s attention drifted to Ruth’s figure beside John. “And how are you, Ruthie?”

The blonde looked up at John, thinking of how he’d taken care of her throughout the day. “Better now.”

“Alright, enough of the lovey eyes, you two,” he called out to them, taking a deep breath and placing his hands on his hips. “The Angel’s out of commission, and the Grove can’t send anyone tonight with the blackout, so we’re stuck here for the night.”

Both couples perked up at the news, but Hugh just groaned.

“As much as I wish I could make you stay with the Red Cross girls, I know I can’t. So you two,” Frank pointed at Gale and John. “No funny business, okay? None.”

Johnny’s mouth twitched, almost quirking into a smirk, but he was able to hold it in as Buck replied with a “Yes sir.”

“Zero funny business,” Bucky fake saluted from his bunk.

Running a hand down his tired face, Frank scratched his mustache. “Hugh, I’m counting on you to keep an eye on them.”

“Trust me, I will.”

“Alright. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Frank disappeared, the door closed behind him with a slam, and they all visibly relaxed. Hope moved to shuffle back onto the bed beside Gale, the wave of nausea having passed when the door flew open again.

A cool breeze filled the hut as five men strolled into the hut, apparently oblivious of the girls until the one at the front of the column spoke up.

“Would you look at that? Major ‘no girls in the hut’ Cleven has a girl on his bed,” he pointed at Hope before the man behind him tapped his shoulder, causing him to turn and notice Ruth. “And Egan, too. Christ, I’m surprised Charlie hasn’t joined in.”

Gale sighed, standing up and placing his hand on Hope’s shoulder, “Hope, Ruth, these are the boys.” Buck took a breath to introduce them, but John beat him to it.

“DEMARCO,” John hollered, causing Gale to groan at his friend’s childish antics.

Demarco just smiled, “Egan,” he greeted him before motioning towards Ruth, “How did you manage to snag yourself such an attractive broad?”

Ruth blushed under the other man’s gaze but John just chuckled beside her, “Must be my endless charm.”

“Sure thing, Major,” Demarco snorted, his voice lowering to a whisper as he glanced down at Ruth, “Blink twice if you need help.”

With a shove from John, Benny laughed turning his attention back to Hope and Gale, while Bubbles moved over to greet Ruth, having already met him earlier that day.

“And you must be the lovely Hope that Meatballs told me about. He’s taken a shine to you,” Demarco motioned towards Gale, “Shame this one keeps third-wheeling your dates.

Hope giggled, turning her head to look at Gale who is now leaning against the headboard, “You may have some competition, Major.”

Gale hummed in amusement, “How am I supposed to compete with his charming personality.” As if the husky knew they were talking about him, he let out a low groan, stretching out across Gale’s bed.

An argument had broken out between John and Jack regarding a certain jeep that Gale and Hope had yet to hear about. Hope shuffled up the bed, wincing as the stitches pulled.

“Are you okay?” Gale’s hands came to rest on her hip, as he watched her worriedly. His bright eyes widened slightly as he noticed Hope’s lip quivering before she replied.

“Yeah, just sore. I need to change my bandage, it’s oozing through…” Before Hope could finish her sentence, Gale’s hand slipped beneath her shirt, noticing the blood leaking through the bandage.

“Hope…” he whispered under his breath, his forehead creasing as he lowered his head to look closer at the wound, but she swatted him away.

“Gale, I’m fine,” she sent him a weak smile, her hand coming to rest of his cheek and she stroked it slowly. “I’m okay. I just need to change the dressing.”

Gale nodded slowly, helping Hope move off the bed and to the back of the hut where they could have a little more privacy, while John continued to bicker with his fellow pilots.

Gale sat her down on a chair, facing away from the other men before he pushed the shirt up to expose her thighs. He unwound the dressing, exposing the rudimentary sutured wound. It was red and angry and hot to the touch.

“Hope, this might be infected. I think I’m the morning before you head back to Berkshire we should head to the infirmary.” Hope raised her eyebrow, giving him a doubtful look to which he shook his head, “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Hope sighed, leaning back in the chair as Gale worked to clean gently around the wound, using the gauze to wipe away the blood. Hope didn’t particularly like the way the wound looked either and even she would admit that she at least needed some penicillin.

“Alright,” she replied reluctantly and Gale chortled.

“This must be the first time you haven’t argued about something, you must be feeling unwell,” Gale whimpered as she smacked him lightly on the head, unamused by his comment.

“Just get to work, Doctor Cleven. I wanna go to bed.”

Something in Gale’s eyes changed at that comment, his eyes normally as clear as a summer's sky, seemed dark and stormy.

“Doctor Cleven, I could get used to that.” Hope hummed in appreciation as Gale’s lips met her thigh, just below where the shrapnel had hit. His warm hands massaged the rigid muscles in the hope of releasing some of the tension of the day.

“Don’t get too used to it,” Hope mumbled, running her fingers through Gale’s blonde locks, “You’ll always be Major Cleven to me. Well, unless you change careers or something.” Hope thought for a moment, “Hmm Doctor Cleven, Major Cleven… Professor Cleven has a ring to it.”

“Professor, huh,” Gale smiled, the grin nearly reaching his eyes. “I see you’ve got it all planned out, Nurse Armstrong.”

Gale made a surprisingly good nurse and he soon had a fresh bandage wrapped neatly around Hope’s leg. He even went as far as to check the tension, as he’d seen Hope go so many times with wounded soldiers.

In the time it took Gale to redress Hope’s leg, Ruth and John had disappeared outside, Hugh was lounging across his cot chatting to Bubbles and Veal. Kidd had given up arguing with John and was reading John’s battered copy of ‘Guys and Dolls’, as for Meatball, he’d finally moved over to Demarco’s bed, lounging across the cover while Benny was on his hands and knees, rummaging beneath the cot.

"Hey, where's my pillow?" Benny asked, his eyes scanning the surrounding beds with a creased brow.

“Here!” Hugh launched the pillow across the room, smacking Demarco square in the face.

“What the hell was that for?” Benny went to stand but Gale pushed him backwards onto his cot.

“Now, now boys, we’ve got female guests. Let’s not get too rowdy tonight, alright?” A few silent nods seemed to satisfy Gale and Hope couldn’t help the amused smirk she sent his way. The Air Force hadn’t just given Gale friends, but an unruly group of men who acted like teenage boys and who Gale had become the adopted father of.

Hope slipped under the sheets, sighing as the thin mattress sunk under her weight. Gale slipped in beside her, careful to avoid knocking her injured leg, and his left instinctively found its home on her waist, while he used his other arm to prop himself up, running his fingers soothingly through her brown locks.

“Today was a good day,” Hope mumbled, her voice muffled with sleep, as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“A good day? Hope you could have… I could have…” Gale’s voice thick with emotion as he tried to find the words he wanted. Hope rolled over to face him, glancing up at his crumpled features. He looked utterly broken and a silent sob left his lips before the tears began to fall.

“Oh Gale,” Hope reached up, gripping onto Gale and pulling him against her chest. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Her fingers danced up and down his spine, as he sobbed into the crook of her neck, allowing the emotions he’d been bottling to finally release.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’m okay. You’ve got me,” Hope kept repeating like a mantra for both of them. They were both okay.

Gale pulled away, a teardrop hanging off the end of his nose as he spoke, “I love you so much, Hope. I don’t know what I’d do if… if…”

“Shh Gale, please don’t cry. It’s okay. Look,” she placed her left hand above his heart, her engagement ring clearly in view and Gale could himself run his fingers over the small gold ring.

“I still can’t believe you said yes,” he admitted, cupping Hope’s cheek and placing a loving kiss on her lips.

“As if my answer would have been anything other than a yes. I love you, Gale with all my heart.”

Gale pulled Hope down with him, nuzzling into her neck and placing small, chaste kisses along her collarbone.

“Didn’t think our first time in bed together would be quite like this,” he mused, kissing Hope’s forehead.

“No, neither did I,” Hope laughed, “In fact, I had a very different image.” Hope began to speak again when Hugh called out.

“Hey, no funny business, Cleven. You hear what Frank said and I don’t want to get on the wrong side of him.”

Gale sighed and went to reply but Hope interrupted him, peaking out above Gale’s shoulder, “Hugh, would you give it a rest, just for one goddamn night. Please.”

Hugh raised his hands in surrender, turning back to his conversation with Bubbles. Gale smiled in awe at Hope’s ability to shut Hugh up.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Gale placed another kiss on Hope’s forehead, pulling her closer to his body as they both drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Tags: @georgieluz @docroesmorphine @major-mads @violetdaze25 @bcofl0ve @precious-little-scoundrel @blurredcolour @artlover8992 @b00ks1ut @xxluckystrike @hockeyboysarehot @groovin2beats @kmc1989 @ginabaker1666 @blueberry-ovaries

[asimplevampire]

so thanks to angelapleasant's take on Buzz in Something Wicked (brilliantly written btw), I've been thinking about how I want to do the Grunts, because I was never satisfied with how I was writing them. If I ever bring back my modern uberhood (I have the canon URL!) or if I want to play them in medieval PV or what have you. and well.

I do like the fanon more than she does, but I also want it to be more. complicated. tastier. a bit less... teenage. and seeing angelapleasant's depiction of Buzz and Tank made it click, the exact dynamic I want.

so in order to make this work we first need to accept a postulate: all the Grunt boys are neurodivergent. yes, all. None of them will ever get a proper diagnosis while they're living under Buzz's roof. But...

Buzz is the kind of middle-aged white guy who yells at everyone if he can't keep to his strict routine, and only eats three foods, and has Strong Opinions about sportsball statistics. He's very invested in Looking Like The Right Kind Of Person-- he's constantly masking, honestly-- and very invested in Being Normal. (Incidentally, this is why Buzz hates PT- not aliens in general, PT and the Smiths. He can't stand that someone so Weird is better at Being Normal than his family.)

Tank takes after his dad, and also has the profound misfortune of Taking Ideas Seriously. When Tank believes in something, he genuinely believes it with his whole chest. This is a rarer quality to have than one might think. It is also a deeply unfortunate quality to have in a place like Strangetown.

Ripp doesn't like routines. Or being told what to do. Or having to focus on anything but the, like, three things he cares about. And none of those things are Normal- he likes art and music and writing terribad romance novels. He's also flamingly bi, and since he's a Romance sim, he's not very good at keeping it under wraps. He started talking about having crushes on boys in kindergarten.

Buck has exactly one interest (pet fashion!), is also an incredibly picky eater, doesn't like loud noises or crowds, and can't tie his shoes or tell time on an analog clock. He talks a lot with family and friends, but completely clams up around strangers.

And so we've got this family dynamic where...

Buzz is harder on Ripp than he is on either of his other children. Buzz desperately wants Ripp to be Normal, for both selfless and selfish reasons. The world's a cruel place to be Not Normal, after all... and it's a cruel place if your kids reflect Weird back on you.

Perhaps a bit too hard. Perhaps pushing into the realm of "asking Ripp to do the unwise or impossible". Perhaps getting worse and more unreasonable the older (and surlier) Ripp gets.

Ripp resents this, ofc, and pushes back. They've got a vicious cycle going where Ripp rebels harder every time the General puts more expectations on him, which makes the General push back harder with more expectations, which makes Ripp rebel...

Tank has been watching this horrible cycle his entire life. And no one bothered to tell him that the expectations Buzz puts on Ripp are not the same expectations that Buzz wants him to live under.

And Tank takes ideas seriously.

So Tank is desperately struggling to live up to this impossible ideal that no one asked or expected of him. He's trying to be the perfect soldier, get perfect grades, be perfect at his job, keep his room perfectly tidy, be Better At Being A Good Normal Person than anyone else in the family, hate the people the General wants him to hate...

If Buzz knew what Tank has internalized, at this point, he'd be horrified. He mostly just wants his kids to do their best... and mayyyybe not publicly embarrass the family.

Buzz is also easier on Buck than either of his other children, because he's the baby and you just kind of ... instinctively want to take care of him. It doesn't hurt that Buck looks more like Lyla than either of the other kids...

So Tank is desperately struggling to live up to an impossible ideal that no one asked him to live up to; Ripp is desperately kicking against the pricks of an impossible ideal that everyone seems to want him to live up to; and Buck is alternating between Getting Forgotten and Getting Spoiled Rotten.

You've got this horrible, horrible family dynamic, that could probably be resolved with, like, three honest conversations and some honest renegotiation around expectations. But all of these men (except maybe Buck?) are incredibly emotionally constipated and Will Not Talk To Each Other without some severe goading from an outside force.

idk, that's just where I'm at at this point, and I don't think I've seen anyone else with this specific headcanon. especially not neurodivergent!Buzz.

[inawickedlittletown]

Dragon Chosen (BuckTommy fic) - 3/5

Summary:

In a world where dragons exist and where they pick their riders, Buck doesn't expect his perfectly normal Tuesday to include a dragon and his rider, Tommy, showing up to ask for his help with an injured dragon…a dragon that has picked Buck as his rider. Buck doesn't know who captivates him more his new dragon or Tommy.

Rating: M

Words: 3.8k

Ao3

Chapter One

Chapter Two

-

Chapter Three

It wasn’t at all hard to determine how quickly Evan took to the bond. Within the first few days, he seemed to just instinctively understand how he could help Gwyn heal. Halfway through the second week, he and Tommy took the bandage off. Cyra didn’t recommend that Gwyn fly yet, but Evan took it upon himself to do some kind of physical therapy with Gwyn. 

Focusing on Gwyn getting better was the only thing that kept Tommy from jumping Evan and kissing him silly. Evan didn’t make it very easy, either. The number of times that Tommy had walked out of his room to find Evan with just a towel around his hips. It was as if he were timing leaving the bathroom perfectly to run into Tommy. Then there was the touching. Evan bumped his shoulder, grabbed his hand, slung his arm around his shoulders. He also kept staring at Tommy like he was the last slice of cake or something. Tommy only had so much self-restraint and Evan was pushing it.  

Cyra thought it was hilarious and she kept encouraging him to just go for it. Evan was either the biggest flirt and had no idea what he was doing, or he knew exactly what he was doing and Tommy thought it was the latter. 

That morning, he found Evan in the kitchen. The smell of coffee wafted his way and he paused to take Evan in. He was still in pajamas, a t-shirt that was too tight and pants that sat low on his hips. Tommy swallowed. The universe was being very unfair. 

“Good morning,” Evan called out to him, shooting him a smile. “Your coffee is just there.” 

He pointed to a cup that was still a little steamy but already had the right amounts of cream and sugar. 

“You remember how I take my coffee?” 

“Well, after the mess I made of it the first time,” Evan said, ducking his head. 

“Thank you.” 

“Eggs will be ready in a moment,�� Evan said. 

They ate together like they had every morning since Evan had come to stay. Tommy had never lived with anyone before and though he’d welcomed Evan and Gwyn, Chim had tried to prepare him for the annoyance of having someone in his space. It wasn’t annoying at all to have Evan there. Evan was the perfect house guest and Tommy liked having him around, wanted him around for that matter. 

On the few days that Evan actually left the house, Tommy could even go as far as to say that he missed him. But Evan had his garden to care for and he liked going by the 118 even if he was on dragon leave. 

“I finally convinced Eddie to take over taking care of the garden,” Evan announced. “I mean, I’ll still go check on it, but he can be there to give it water and harvest things.” 

“That’s great,” Tommy said. 

Evan nodded. “I hate being away from Gwyn. Does that get better?” 

“It will,” Tommy confirmed. “How are you doing with blocking her out of your mind?” 

“Better, I think. I’ve been practicing all morning. I just…there’s some stuff I rather she didn’t know.” He blushed and looked at Tommy and then away, biting his lip.

“Stuff like what?” 

Evan blushed far too easily and Tommy loved it. He loved the way that the pink spread on his cheeks and on his neck. Maybe it went even further down, wouldn’t that be a sight. 

“Uh…I mean…like if I was doing stuff that’s a bit personal,” Evan got out, his words rushed. 

“Hmmm,” Tommy said. “You mean while you were jerking off?” 

Evan gasped. Tommy internally didn’t know why he said it outloud. He could barely look at Evan, but Evan’s eyes were trained on him and when he glanced up it was to find heat and want and hunger. 

“Tommy,” Evan said, it was almost pleading. 

Tommy got up from his chair. He was feeling warm and his palms were sweaty. Evan got up too and he reached and grabbed Tommy’s wrist. Whatever had had him unsure before, it was gone. 

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, Tommy, what do you do if you want to jerk off? If you want to touch yourself? If you want to touch someone else…if you want to fuck someone?” 

Evan stepped closer, his hand climbed up Tommy’s wrist to his elbow. Their eyes were locked together and Tommy would never be sure who moved first or who kissed who first, just that in the next moment the space between them was closed and they were kissing. It was a hungry kiss, hard and filled with want. All the tension from the last few weeks exploded in that kiss and before he knew it their tongues were sliding together and Tommy was moaning into the kiss. 

They only pulled away to get air and they were panting against each other, Evan’s lips quirking into a smirk. 

“Tell me you have him blocked off?” Tommy whispered. 

Evan pecked his lips. “Yes. Why do you think I’ve been trying to perfect it?” 

And then they were kissing again. Evan’s hands were in his hair and Tommy pulled him closer, pressed their bodies up and felt that toned chest he’d felt the first day he met him when they flew on Cyra. He touched Evan’s back, his hands reaching down to grope at his ass. 

Evan groaned into his neck, leaving open mouth kisses until he was back at Tommy’s lips. He rutted right into Tommy’s thigh and reached down, his hand making a slow trek between them and into Tommy’s shorts right for his cock. His first touch sent a zing of pleasure through Tommy and it really had been too long since he’d been with anyone. 

Evan’s fingers circled his girth, moaned against Tommy’s shoulder. 

“Want you to fuck me,” Evan said, voice breathy. 

Tommy didn’t waste any time. He pulled at Evan’s hand until he was out of his shorts. 

“What…Tommy, I—”

Tommy kissed him, spun Evan around and pulled his pajama pants and underwear down. Evan kicked them away, he wasted no time in leaning against the counter and pushing his ass out and oh, it really was perfect, better than Tommy could have dreamed up and he’d been dreaming it up every night. At first he just groped him a bit, slipping his dry fingers down his crack and teasing him, before he dropped to his knees behind him. 

First, he placed a soft bite to one cheek. Evan groaned. 

Tommy spread his cheeks, looked at his hole and dove right in. He could hear Evan’s cries. The way that his words were jumbled and broken up, but he said Tommy’s name and Tommy could get addicted to the sound. He could also get addicted to his taste. He reached around Evan and grasped his cock at the base, gave him a pump and felt how wet the head was. He groaned into Evan. 

“Tommy, Tommy…Tommy please,” Evan cried out. 

Tommy rubbed a finger over Evan’s hole, wet from Tommy’s saliva. As hot as it would be to just keep this in the kitchen, the lube was in his room and Tommy was going to do it right. 

“Bedroom, Evan,” he said. 

Evan whined, but Tommy stood, turned him again and kissed him. Evan groaned into the kiss, he clung to Tommy. Tommy walked them backwards out of the kitchen, but he put a pause to it at the stairs. Evan went ahead of him, bare bottom and all. Tommy wanted him and he wanted him desperately. He ran after Evan and the two of them grasped at each other at the top of the stairs, kissing and groping. Evan tugged at Tommy’s clothes and by the time they were in his room they were both nude. 

Evan dropped onto the bed at once, displaying himself and fondling his own cock with a smirk on his face. Tommy did quick work of finding the lube and dropping it next to Evan. 

“Want me to?” Evan asked. 

Tommy shook his head. “No, baby, let me. I want to get you nice and loose for me.” 

Evan made a whimpering noise. 

Tommy really couldn’t torture Evan or himself any longer. 

Evan lifted his hips up, squished a pillow under him and spread his legs out and then he touched himself some more. Tommy knocked his hand away and grabbed the lube. He was slow, but Evan urged him to go faster, to get his fingers inside him already. Tommy leaned over to kiss him and he pressed in. 

—

Buck had known that Tommy wanted him for weeks. Probably since they first met. In any other circumstance, he would have probably propositioned him on day one. Gwyn had been a factor though and how much he needed Buck mentally. It had led to Buck finally asking Tommy about keeping Gwyn out of his head and finding out how difficult it actually was to form that block between him and the dragon. 

Determination to get it right and do more than flirt with Tommy had made him learn. He regretted nothing, especially not when Tommy was finally lining himself up and pushing into him with such a gentle patience that was betrayed by the heat in his eyes and the way that he gripped at Buck’s hips. 

Having Tommy inside him when he finally bottomed out felt amazing. He felt fuller than ever, felt a little pain at the stretch, but it was nothing in comparison to the bliss on Tommy’s face or how he leaned down to kiss Buck almost gently. 

Then, he began moving and Buck just about lost it. Pleasure coursed through him.

“Evan,” Tommy said, “you feel so good. So good for me.” 

Buck drew him down into a kiss and he felt Tommy’s hand on his cock, something of a tease before he started moving his hand up and down. Buck gasped, head thrown back. Tommy started to fuck him just a little harder and Buck just about exploded. It seemed to be just what Tommy was looking for because a moment later he was cumming too. 

They were both panting, sweaty, and warm. Buck’s stomach was sticky and wet. None of it mattered, not when Tommy was tying up the condom and dropping to lay next to Buck. 

“We are doing that again,” Buck informed him. 

Tommy laughed. He kissed Buck’s bicep. “And other things.” 

“All the things,” Buck corrected. 

Despite how much he might want to, Buck knew they couldn’t stay in bed all morning. Still, they both lingered at first just cooling off, but then kissing and caressing and smiling at each other. Tommy finally declared it was time to get up almost an hour later and then he couldn’t be convinced to share the shower with Buck, though he did let Buck go first. 

When Buck left the bathroom, towel around his waist, he found Tommy out in the hall waiting in just his shorts. 

“I just want to know,” Tommy said, “how deliberate was all of this?” 

“All of what?” Buck asked. 

“You and the towel after a shower?” 

“Can’t dry off in a steamy room, Tommy,” Buck said, “but it didn’t hurt to show you what you could have.” 

Tommy grabbed him around the waist, pressing them together. He drew Buck into a deep kiss and then he slapped Buck’s ass through the towel when he pushed him away. Buck just laughed and continued into the guest room. He dressed quickly, dismantled the mental block and felt out for Gwyn. 

Gwyn was awake and eating. Buck didn’t quite like to think about the eating habits of the dragons. They were carnivores and consumed their food well cooked. Cyra was providing food for Gwyn while he still couldn’t fly, though sometimes he did walk into the woods way behind Tommy’s house where he could find critters to snack on. 

He didn’t wait for Tommy and headed out of the house. He and Tommy had cleared out the shed on the first day and Gwyn had been using it mostly at night. During the day he was mostly out on the grass and Buck was usually with him. He hated when he had to leave him there to go back to his house. At least he’d qualified for dragon rider’s leave so he could be out of work. Normally, Buck would have hated taking time off, but Gwyn had changed things. 

When he reached Gwyn, the dragon immediately turned to him, cocking his head. 

You smell like Tommy

Buck laughed. Cyra let out a snort that was her own laughter. There really would never be hiding anything from them. 

How’s your wing doing? Buck asked, deciding to ignore it. 

Doesn’t hurt.

Buck reached for Gwyn, touching his head and down his neck to his back and then to the wing. He stretched it out. There was still a tension there, Buck could practically feel it. It felt like a muscle that was a bit too tight. His hands smoothed over the wing. It was soft and delicate, but he massaged it like he’d been doing every day since he and Tommy removed the bandage. 

That feels nice. How long until I can fly?

It might be a while yet, Gwyn. We don’t want you to get hurt

He could feel his disappointment and he tried to send back reassurance. 

Buck had found that despite being quite young, Gwyn was pretty mature when it came to most things. He did have a stubborn streak, though, and an eagerness to get back to the sky. When he told Hen and Chim about that, he’d gotten stared at until Buck admitted that maybe he shared those qualities. 

Look, a while back I was injured too. My leg. Even to this day it gets a bit tight when it rains. It took a long time for me to heal up and get back to normal. I was impatient too and I pushed myself too hard. It made it worse, looking back. So, you have to go slow and listen to Cyra. She knows better than both of us.

Gwyn brushed his head against Buck and Buck sighed. He let him fold his wing back into place. When he looked up, he spotted Tommy headed their way. He blushed even just looking at him. Tommy smiled at him. 

“How’s the patient?” 

“Impatient,” Buck said. 

Tommy laughed. He made his way to where Cyra was sitting. She lowered her head so Tommy could touch her and Buck could see from Tommy’s body language that he was being teased. 

The next few weeks went along in the same way. Buck spent some time with Gwyn, he went to care for his garden because Eddie could really only be trusted to make sure everything was watered and picked, and he and Tommy spent any spare moment together. Kisses were constant, their hands were never far from each other. They didn’t discuss it, but they were practically sleeping in the same bed every night and Buck loved waking up with him. 

—

The first time that Gwyn flew again was after being told he should wait another week. Tommy had seen it coming. Cyra had warned him it might happen, she was also sure that when it did, Gwyn would be okay. And, he was. Gwyn was also exhausted and the next day Evan was almost in tears from the pain that he felt across the bond because that was just how stiff Gwyn’s wing was from his flight. 

“Maybe this will teach him something,” Tommy offered. 

Gwyn stayed in the shed, curled up and pain-ridden, but stubborn enough to still tell them that it was worth it. Cyra told them to leave the wing be. 

Leave him be. He’ll need to rest and when he wants to fly again he’ll remember this day. 

It could have been comical to see Gwyn in the shed, because he’d grown considerably in the last six weeks and he only just fit in there. In a few more weeks, Tommy didn’t think that Gwyn would fit, but in a couple of weeks he might be back in the air and maybe it wouldn’t matter. 

Tommy was preparing himself for what that would mean. If Gwyn could fly and hunt for himself, then it would mean that Evan could go back home so that Gwynn could start settling in where he would live. That was the goal and yet, Tommy didn’t want them to go. In the last few weeks Evan had been sleeping next to him every night and not just on the nights when they got each other off. He didn’t think he’d ever been that okay with someone in his bed like that before and yes it was fast, but it really felt like Evan belonged there. 

When his morose thoughts got to Cyra she tried to remind him that he’d been approved by the Dragon Rider Guild to help Evan with everything. It was why he’d been allowed to miss so much work. 

Tommy worked at Dragon Air Support. It was a part of LAFD Air Support. Tommy had known it was the right place for him. Some people thought it was redundant to have fire breathing dragons working for the fire department, but those people didn’t know that firefighters did a whole lot more than dealing with fires. 

Dragons were strong for one thing and for another, they helped with controlled fires, and getting into places that helicopters just couldn’t. Not to mention that dragons were fireproof and could fly right into flames for rescues that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. Tommy kinda hoped that Evan would end up joining him at Dragon Air Support when Gwyn was full grown, but he was also aware of how close everyone at the 118 was and Buck might not want to leave them.  

With Gwyn moody and in pain, Tommy had the task of getting Evan out of the house and away from the dragon before it really affected his mood more than it already did. 

“Want to go flying with me?” Tommy asked. 

“On Cyra?” Evan looked surprised. 

Tommy grinned. “Yes. Gwyn needs to rest and he’ll be fine here on his own. We won’t go far so we can hear him, but I figure you need some distance from him.” 

“Sure.” 

Ten minutes later, Tommy was helping him climb up Cyra and once they were seated, Evan wrapped his arms around Tommy, pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Tommy turned slightly, enough to draw him into a quick kiss. Cyra surprised both of them by rising, taking a few steps and flapping her wings and pushing off the ground. Evan made a squeaking noise, but he settled against Tommy’s back. 

What? It was getting too mushy for me.

You wanted us together.

Yes. I’m happy for you, you know that. Just keep that off my back.

Fair enough. One day you’ll meet your mate, Cyra, and I won’t complain if you get mushy.

Dragons do not get mushy.

Tommy smiled to himself. He sent his joy through to Cyra and received her own happiness back. 

Cyra didn’t fly them very far. The last thing Tommy wanted was for Evan to be too far from Gwyn and not hear if the dragon was in distress. He didn’t think they needed to worry, but it was better safe than sorry. After all, despite his best efforts they hadn’t had any luck locating the witch. The Dragon Rider Guild took the whole thing very seriously. There were quite a few young dragons about the size of Gwyn who were vulnerable and even more riderless dragons who weren’t quite ready to call for their rider. 

What concerned them the most was that the witch had managed to retain some of Gwyn’s scales. Dragon scales were great for certain spells, sure, but they also could be used to track the dragon who lost them. Tommy hoped they were wrong, but the witch could try to find Gwyn. So far no one had found her and they had very little to go on. 

Cyra started descending, Evan’s arms tightened around him. She was out over the water and she glided down, dragging her feet. Evan gasped, especially when Cyra tilted to the left dropping her wing into the water. A spray of water hit them. Cyra righted herself a moment later. She didn’t come down right in the water, but landed on the sand, sending a lot of it up into the air in a cloud. Tommy ducked his face and closed his eyes. He felt Evan press his face to his back, arms still tight around him. 

Sorry. 

It’s okay. 

Most of the sand settled quickly, a lot of it landing on Cyra. When Tommy finally lifted his head, Cyra was already getting down so he and Evan could dismount. He went down first and just like the first time, he waited and caught Evan, this time pulling him right into a quick kiss that made Evan laugh. 

They were in a portion of the beach that was a bit isolated, but there were still a few people either out on the water or sunbathing on the sand. 

“I can’t believe you brought me to the beach,” Evan said. 

“I figured we could walk around a bit. Plus, Cyra wanted to come. She likes the water.” 

As soon as they had walked a few feet away from her, Cyra actually began walking into the water. Evan stopped to watch her. The waves didn’t bother her, in fact her large body mass created more waves. As soon as she had gotten far enough in, she dove into the water, popping up a while aways. 

“I didn’t know dragons liked to swim,” Evan said. 

“I don’t know about other dragons, but Cyra’s always been partial to it. She, uh, she took me into the water with her once, it was fun.” 

“How long have the two of you been together?” 

“About seven or eight years. Seems like a lot longer.” 

A nice breeze came in from the sea and they could hear Cyra splashing in the sea. Tommy could picture Gwyn there too, bigger than he was at the moment and yet a part of it because he was Evan’s and Tommy wanted Evan beside him all the time. Maybe they should talk about what they wanted from each other and for the future. 

They had walked all the way to where some dunes blocked the path and Tommy was gearing up to bring it up, when Evan went completely still. 

“Gwyn,” he said, eyes panicked in a way Tommy had never seen. 

Tommy reached out to Cyra at once. 

Cyra, we have to go. It’s Gwyn. Something’s wrong.

[itstheoneshot]

Kinktober Day 4

Body Worship - Xion

!sub Xion

“Baby,” Your boyfriend sighs from the other side of the bathroom door, “Come on, it’s time for bed.”

You had stood in front of the mirror for such a long time after getting out of the shower, picking apart your appearance and sending yourself into a spiral. You wished that you liked how you looked, and sometimes you do, but today was not one of those days. A part of you did not even want to go out to face him, worried you would be triggered by just how beautiful he is, doubting your worth of him, wondering why he would settle for someone like you.

“I need you to open the door,” He murmurs, knocking gently on the wood as an early warning, “Please, my love, come out.”

You know that it will only get worse if you keep him waiting, so you take a couple of deep, metered breaths before turning the door handle and re-entering your bedroom, leaving the ensuite bathroom attached. Dongju awaits you, at arm's length with them outstretched, he smiles at you softly, with a quick glance up and down, his ears are red and cheeks even redder before he meets your gaze at last.

“Are you okay?” He asks you, “I thought you were going to fall asleep in there.”

You aren’t sure how to reply, instinctively covering yourself up with your hands in a feeble attempt to hide your imperfections, hyper-aware of his appeal as he stands there in only a pair of shorts, while you are completely naked. Dongju looks disappointed, and he takes your hands in his, intertwining your fingers so that you can’t let go.

“My beautiful girl,” Dongju grins at you, “How can you be so perfect?”

He knows you too well, knows exactly what you need, leading you over to the bed and urging you to sit down to get you comfortable, settling on his knees in front of you to remind you of your standing, always there to cheer you up and fix your problems, such a sweetheart boy, when he isn’t being a total brat. He stares up at you with his hands on your thighs, fingers digging in just slightly as he admires you, eyes glancing up and down, the look on his face shows how much he is struggling for words, and your hand cupping his cheek isn’t helping that.

“I’m not,” You shake your head, if only to urge him on, “You’re imagining things.”

He leans forward to press a kiss to the skin on the inside of your thighs, spreading your legs at the same time to fit better in between them. You let your eyes flutter shut, breathing deeply as you focus on the sensation of his lips on your skin.

“I don’t deserve you,” Dongju mutters against your skin, “You are ethereal, my princess.”

As he moves further up, you lean back and relax yourself, continuing to disagree, “I don’t think that’s true, honey, I don’t know if you really feel that way.”

You are teasing him at this point, but you love how desperate he gets to prove himself, his hands roaming even further and your breath catches in your throat.

“I’ll show you,” He promises, “You are everything to me, nobody could ever compare.”

His fingertips graze against your bare core, sending shivers up your spine, “You are the most beautiful girl in the world, just look at you, your body is perfect, I could stare at you all day.”

Dongju’s mouth is practically watering at the sight of you, at the way that your hips buck against his fingers when he enters you past the second knuckle, when he curls them at the right angle to make your head spin, when you whine and whimper to his touch and his own cock gets harder with every passing second. He presses kisses to your hips, though the attention doesn’t stay there for long, too in need of tasting exactly where his fingers are, his tongue finding purchase, licking his fingers as he pulls them from you, not missing a single droplet of your wet, pressing into you instead as you throw your head back.

“Fuck, Dongju,” You moan, seeing stars as he nibbles gently on your clit, “Yes, baby, just like that.”

Alternating between tongue and fingers, so that he can continue to tell you how much he loves you, so that he can compliment every part of your body, leaving nothing unmentioned, curing your self doubt, boosting your self esteem, reminding you of why you were with him in the first place. He worshipped you, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, curled in anticipation as your orgasm creeps closer with every flick of his tongue, and every thrust of his fingers, you are close, so close, but not quite ready to fall apart just yet.

Dongju has other plans though, wanting you there as proof of how much he admires you, knowing that once he has you over the edge, you will begin to agree with him, that you will accept his praise, his obsession with you, and you may even repay some of it. Although that isn’t why he does it, he is only here, between your legs with his tongue deep in your cunt in his own desperate need to show that he wants you, and he is just grateful that you want him too.

You come for him with soundless cries, fingers knotted in his hair to keep him from moving away, pushing back into his face as your senses overwhelm you, forgetting everything but pleasure and how much you fucking love the man that is fucking you right now. The built up sadness and self-deprecation only makes for an orgasm indescribable, and if you were able to, you would wonder whether you worked yourself up in the first place just knowing that this would be how you fall apart.

He slows only when you pull him away, wiping his lips with the back of his hand as he stares at you through his beautiful long lashes, his eyes glint with his own desire, clearly in need for you, nowhere near done, having only got you off and not himself, at least not yet.

“Come here, baby boy,” You tempt him, “It’s my turn to make you feel good now, isn’t it?”

———

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

[misscongeniality18]

request for peter sutherland x reader and she has very low self esteem. readers family isnt very supportive and maybe at like a family gathering someone in her family makes an offensive joke at readers expense and peter defends her?

Of course! I hope you don't mind me using a bit of my own past with family members as inspiration, and that it's not exactly an offensive joke, more like an offensive opinion/observation? Anyway, enjoy!

Perfect - Peter Sutherland

Synopsis ! You and Peter go to your family's monthly get-together, where your family continuously judges you. Pairing ! Peter Sutherland x fem!reader Genre ! Fluff, some angst Warnings ! Judgemental/unsupportive family members, reader has body/self-esteem issues, social alcohol consumption Word Count - 1454

" When you said you looked a mess I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it Darling you look perfect tonight " - Perfect, Ed Sheeran

Masterlist Request Guide

You gripped Peter's hand tightly while smoothing out your dress. Today was the day that you were bringing him to meet your family. Every month, your family would meet at your parent's house for dinner and to catch up. To everyone else, it was a lovely tradition that started with your great-grandparents and was passed on through the generations, but to you, it was a nightmare that you dreaded each month.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" Peter asked you as the two of you walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

You sighed, trying to keep your clammy palms dry. "I'm just preparing myself. Are you sure this dress looks okay?"

"You look great," Peter said, furrowing his brows at your sudden anxiety. The door opened, revealing your mother in her best sweater set and pearls. "Y/N, darling! I'm so glad you could make it this time. You must be Peter. I've heard a lot about you."

Your mother was warm and friendly, just like the home she worked so tirelessly to keep. She was a teacher at the local community college, and you admired how dedicated she was to her job.

Your mother led you and Peter inside while calling for your father. Your siblings were gathered in the living room, their own significant others sitting at their sides. Your aunts and uncles were there as well, and so were a few of your cousins.

Your mother led the introductions, and Peter shook everyone's hand in turn. So far, things were going well, but the pounding in your chest never left. You were squeezing Peter's hand tightly, holding him close to you. Out of everything in the world, only Peter could keep you grounded.

"So, Peter, what is it that you do?" Your father asked, handing Peter a beer. You sipped your own drink, preferring one of the fruity seltzers.

Peter was relaxed, sitting next to you on the couch. "I'm an FBI agent. I'm currently on a classified assignment in the White House."

"Wow, that's impressive. Must pay pretty big bucks for that, huh?" Your father joked. "Well, it's nothing like being a writer, right Y/N?"

You bit your lip to keep yourself from speaking. If you did, you would lash out. Your father had never been supportive about your choice in career.

Still, your father continued, ignoring the annoyed sighs from your siblings. They knew his habits as well. "I mean, being a writer is a nice hobby, but it's not realistic as a stable career."

"Actually," Peter interrupted. "Y/N has had several short stories published, and her first novel is getting considered for a book deal. "

Before anyone could say anything, a voice called from the kitchen that dinner was ready.

You instantly stiffened. Peter felt you go rigid, and he glanced at you with concern. His eyes were asking if everything was alright, but you didn't have time to answer as everyone went into the dining room.

Your grandmother stood at the dining table adding the finishing touches to the spread that she and your mother created. "Y/N, you're here!"

Your grandmother rushed around the table to hug you tightly. When she released you, she eyed your dress with a frown. "Is that dress the right size? It's making you look bigger."

After taking a deep breath, you stiffly turned to Peter. "Grandma, this is Peter, my boyfriend. He's an FBI agent."

"Oh!" Your grandmother gave Peter a hug and showed him to a place at the table. "That must include a lot of training to keep you fit. Does Y/N join you at the gym?"

"No, Grandma, I don't. I—"

Before you could continue with that you go to a yoga class every week, your grandmother interrupted you. "Oh, darling, you should. You look like you're getting heavier."

She walked away from you then, and you bit your lip as you sat down next to Peter. He took your hand, giving you comfort. "I see why you don't like coming home," he whispered to you.

You nodded in agreement as the food was getting passed around. Peter was asked more questions, but he always brought the conversation back to supporting you.

But eventually, your grandmother began to go on a tangent about you. "I loved having Y/N stay with me while she completed college, but I always thought to myself, what can she really do with a degree in English literature? You would think that she'd become a teacher or something, but no, she wants to be a writer. It is admirable, I suppose, but how does she just become a writer? What does she have to do?"

Peter took a sip of water. "I mentioned this in the living room, but she's had several stories published, and she's really talented—"

"Are you going to eat all that?" Your grandmother interrupted, seeing the amount of food on your plate.

You looked down at your plate blankly. A helping each of meat, potatoes, and green beans, and a roll with butter on the side. You turned back to your grandmother hesitantly. "Yes?"

"Oh my. That's not going to help the figure, is it?"

The table was uncomfortably silent with the occasional clink of silverware against plates, but your grandmother still continued.

"Why don't you take care of yourself, Y/N? You have such a pretty face, don't you want a body to match?"

There was a sudden thud coming from your left as Peter forcefully set his water glass down. He wiped his mouth with a napkin before placing it on the table, pushing his chair back. "I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

"You're leaving?" Your grandmother asked in shock.

"Yes," Peter replied, helping you from your chair and taking your hand. "I'd stay, but I can't stand listening to you insult the woman I love any longer. She is beautiful and smart and so incredibly talented. I wish I had a fraction of what she has, but I don't. You've all praised me for my job, but you know what I really do? I monitor a phone for eight hours that doesn't even ring! Mrs. Y/L/N, thank you for the meal. I hope to see you again soon."

Peter thanked your mother before stalking out of the dining room and through the front door.

Your mother sighed, turning to your grandmother. "Mom, he's right. You can't keep talking to Y/N like that. And you," she said, turning to your father. "No more making wisecracks about Y/N's job."

"Okay, okay. Honey, I'm sorry," your father apologized to you. You gave him a warm smile. After all, his comments were mainly poor-taste jokes. But your grandmother's...

"Grandma, I'm not obsessed with my weight like you are. Yes, I know I'm bigger than average, but I eat right, and I exercise almost daily, it's just that I have to find the right things that fit me. Eating salads and running ten miles a day doesn't work for me," you said, turning to your grandmother. "So please stop making these comments to me. All they do is make me feel bad."

Your grandmother sighed. "Fine. I'm sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut."

Not entirely heartfelt, but if she'd stop, that was good enough for you... for the moment.

"I'll go talk to Peter. He's just really overprotective, but that's what I love about him. He takes care of me," you said, smiling to yourself.

You left your family in the dining room, walking out to your front yard where Peter was waiting at your car. He was leaning against the passenger door, arms crossed over his chest.

"They're angry at me, aren't they?" He asked you, cringing.

You shook your head as you approached him, pulling him toward you by his tie and pressing your lips to his.

Peter's hands moved to rest on your waist, moving you closer to him. When you pulled away, his eyes were lighter and he was smiling. "What was that for?"

"I'd never been able to stand up to my family, especially my grandma, and you defended me when I couldn't. And I love you for that."

Peter kissed you again, soft and sweet, wrapping his arms around you. "I love you, too. You are perfect, no matter what anyone says."

You gave him another quick kiss before pulling him back to the house.

He groaned, not budging an inch. "Do we have to go back in there?"

"Not necessarily, but they apologized to me while you were gone, and I know they'll do it again if you're there. I kind of want to hear it for a second time."

Peter laughed, allowing himself to be dragged by the hand.

Yes, every insult has been said to me before, and if you've heard something similar, you are PERFECT just the way you are! I love each and every one of you. Happy reading. <3

[dontmindme-imjustfangirlin]

no, because - eddie couldn't be there.

people have already talked about how not having eddie present in the coma dream was intentional, and how loud his absence was, and i think they're right! what i want to yes-and is the fact that it's loud because we, the viewer, make it loud.

because we spend the entire episode in buck's head - i mean yes, obviously - but the weird, off-balance camera angles and lighting and close-ups show that we're more than just watching as outside observers. we're literally watching what's happening through buck's eyes as he experiences his dream nightmare. the angles give the viewer the same vertigo buck feels; the close-ups show how wrongwrongwrong it is when we see people who are alive but shouldn't be (doug, that fucker), or strangers when they are not (chim and hen). so when the viewer wonders, increasingly, over the episode, where eddie is, i think we're supposed to extrapolate that that's where buck's mind is, too.

it starts small, like a drumbeat. buck wakes up. daniel teases him for not using a spotter. even in a groggy state, buck knows - i did. i had someone spotting me. someone i trusted had my line. someone who isn't here. someone is missing. who's missing?

the episode goes on. we get to the loft with all the get-well cards and flowers and mentions of kids, because buck loves kids and would be such a good elementary school teacher. but then there's the ferris wheel set, jarringly out of place. he touches it and there's the echoing flashback of water, crushing weight, a little boy screaming his name-

and it's gone.

where's that little boy? where is the person who had his back? everything is amazing and perfect and lovely, and everything is wrong because two people are missing who should be here.

we have the family dinner. everything is good and perfect except it's not, because jee-yun isn't here and doug is alive and oh god, now there's a kid in the middle of that, and in this universe maddie still isn't - may never be - ready or able to leave doug behind.

(and still, in all of that, buck thinks - because we think - something is wrong. something is missing. what's missing?)

and it's not until we get to chim (my beloved <3) that we finally put a name to it. eddie. where is eddie? the angry guy - no, that's not right, he's not supposed to be angry - no, god no, his son, he's not supposed to lose chris, they're supposed to be together, together with-

but then we learn that bobby is gone and the realization that his chosen father is dead without him makes his heart stop. buck needs to keep looking through his dream, because everything is exactly how he always wanted it to be but everything is wrong because maddie is with doug and chim and hen don't know him and bobby is dead and where's eddie, where's chris and eddie?

we get to the hospital. buck wonders if maybe he could stay in this perfect, uncanny world. we see bobby, hardened and mean and addicted the way he never wanted to be. he tells buck, if all you care about is how other people see you, then you haven't learned a damn thing.

(it's not about how other people see him. it's about how buck sees himself. and - importantly - how buck sees other people. more on this in a moment.)

still echoing: where's eddie? where's chris and eddie?

time is running out. buck runs through long, meandering hallways and meets the family he thought he always wanted. he passes chim and he's met maddie and is somehow already working out. it's still wrong - something is still missing - because if everything was so perfect, why is buck so desperate to leave?

(where's eddie? where's chris and eddie?)

little chris in the hallway, when he was supposed to be far away and unreachable in texas. can you help me find my dad?

what perfect, deliberate word choice. can you help me find my dad? find eddie, because you pulled him out of his head and gave him the resources to hold on and never left him to tread water alone? buck would dig through forty feet of mud for him, would crawl under a firetruck towards his broken and bleeding body, would climb into his messed-up head and fucked-up life and put everything to rights because he's the guy who likes to fix things.

and a step beyond - buck realizing, this is chris, but it's not his chris. it's not the boy he's helped raise since he was 7. this is a little boy looking for his dad, and here, in buck's deepest subconscious, i think part of him wonders: can i be that? can i be more than the donor, more than a legal guardian and in case of emergency contact? he's one of the things that's been missing in my supposed dream world - i love him as my own son - can i let him view me as a second dad? the dad he chose like i chose bobby? can i want that?

(can you help me find my dad? where's eddie? where's eddie? WHERE'S EDDIE?)

(because buck woke up in his dream world and knew something was missing from the start.)

there's nothing for you in that room. nobody in there needs you, daniel-buck (doctor buck? mean buck? idk) tells him.

and buck realizes, maybe that's true. maybe they don't. maddie has chim (as if she would ever not need her baby brother). margaret and phillip have each other and their grief and the ghost of their firstborn (though i truly believe, as i think buck does, that losing him would still ruin them. they did the best they could. that doesn't make it better. it just makes it complicated.) he's not going back for them

he's going back for himself. because he wants to live for himself.

(and maybe, he knows there are so many more people than the ones in that room he's going back to. chim and jee-yun and hen and bobby and athena and chris and eddie, eddie, eddie-)

and he smashes the glass. because he's not a teacher. he's a firefighter.

[sortofanobsession]

I’m Begging you to be my Escape - Ch. 10 Epilogue

Author’s Note: Happy Ending Time! Epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me for so long. It might be a bit shorter than I planned, but it just seemed to wrap up so well. Thank you to everyone who commented and kept pushing me to finish this. I needed the encouragement, and I appreciate you all.

Content warning: Fluff, adorable under the cut!

Tag list: diazbuckleysworld, chitownwolf

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 , Chapter 9

AO3

Chapter 10: So were you (Epilogue)

“Surprise!” Everyone shouts as Buck walks through the doorway. 

The omega lets out a shocked laugh as he takes in the scene he’d just walked into. 

It was his house, but in the few hours he’d been out with Maddie, it was decorated with streamers and balloons.

“What’s all this?” He looks at Eddie. Eddie gestures to Bobby.

“Congratulations, you’re officially an LA Firefighter,” the alpha prime says as he hands him the official documents stating exactly that. 

“They didn’t even tell me yet,” Buck says.

“We figured it would be more fun this way,” Eddie grins.

“You knew?” Buck looks at his alpha in shock. 

“Uh…” Eddie is suddenly very unsure if this was all the best idea. “It was Chim and Maddie’s idea?” It comes out more as a question.

“Did you just try and throw us under the bus to save your skin because you didn’t tell your mate about something?” Chimney asks.

Maddie laughs at the three of them. “You guys are ridiculous. Congratulations, little brother.“ She hugs him before going over to high-five Christopher.

Athena walked over, and on her hip was an adorable little girl with a head full of bouncing brown curls pulled into pigtails. The little girl making grabby hands at Buck. The omega's smile could rival the sun as he beams at her. 

“Da! Da!” the little girl reaches for the omega. Her tiny fists flex as she makes grabby hands at him.

“Not sure if she excited for you or if it’s the sugar-filled punch her brother snuck her while these fellas weren’t looking, but either way, this hyped-up pup is all yours,” Athena smiles as she hands the little girl to the omega. Buck takes his daughter with ease and kisses her temple. “I’m proud of you, Buckaroo,” Athena says as she squeezes his arm. “You’ll be giving those two heart attacks and not following orders like the best of them in no time.” She gestures to Bobby and Eddie. In an instant, Eddie goes from smoothing a few of his daughter’s loose curls back as she clings to his mate to staring at Athena. His inner alpha now gnawing at him. 

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ve thought this one through all the way,” Hen says over her shoulder. Laughing at the concerned look on Eddie’s face. She pats the alpha on the back hard enough he glares at her. “Don’t worry. At least you’ll be the first one to know when he does something dramatic or stupid. Knowing you two, it’ll be stupid.” 

After the party is over and cleaned up, thanks to Bobby and Athena staying to help with the aftermath. Christopher was picking out something for them all to watch as they put their daughter down for the night.

Buck smiles down at her, brushing the now unbound curls from her face.

“She’ll need a haircut soon,” Eddie says as he steps up beside him.

“I know,” the omega laments. “It’s just so cute when she has those little pigtails.”

“Just wait,” the alpha chuckles quietly, “In no time, she’ll be getting into everything, and everything will end up stuck in those adorable pigtails.” 

“My baby girl? Never,” Buck grins. “She’s too perfect.”

The alpha covers his mouth with his hand to not laugh out loud and wake the sleeping sweetheart. “My omega, I love with all my heart, but you know that’s exactly why she’ll find every possible ounce of trouble she can. She looks at the world with those big doe eyes and is just waiting for someone to set her down so she can find every tiny thing we missed babyproofing like it is her job.”

“Well, now I’m starting to think going to work is a bad idea,” the omega mumbles. 

“Too late now,” Eddie grins. He knows that’s not true. If Buck really wanted to stay home, he could. They’d make it work. But he also knows that his mate isn’t one to sit still for very long. He half drags the omega out of the room. “I know it’s hard to do, but you’ll be glad you did. She has to get used to us not being here every moment of every day. I know it feels like you’re leaving a piece of your heart at home because you kind of are, but it gets easier.”

“Does it?” Buck genuinely asks.

“It does because, honestly, there is nothing better than coming home.”

“And you can’t come home unless you leave first,” the omega admits. 

“Exactly,” the alpha grins.

“And you don’t mind being stuck with me 24/7, even on the job?”

“Oh, I’ll be there to make sure that bleeding omega heart of yours doesn’t send you over the edge without a guide rope.” 

“You love my bleeding heart,” the omega states.

“I love every bit of you,” the alpha admits. “Especially that gorgeous ass of yours in those fitted uniform pants. How will I endure?”

“Smart ass,” Buck laughs.

“No, this was about your ass,” Eddie winks.

“You’re an idiot, but I love you.” The omega can’t help but smile.

“Because I’m your idiot,” the alpha points out. “And I love you too.”

[finduilasclln]

one line, any fic

Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line, and share it! Then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @jacksadventuresinwriting and @littlespoonevan. Thank you!

But if he did, I'd feel the same | Buddie

“But your heart is big, Chris, it’s so big and I know that you can love Buck as much as you possibly can and there’s still always going to be enough room for me and Mom, right?” Eddie says, hoping that he’s explaining this right. The last thing that he would ever want is for his kid to feel guilty about loving someone.

pieces of me (are pieces of you) | Buddie

“Just go already!” Eddie says, giving Buck’s arm another push, “Just fucking go!” 

“No,” Buck growls stubbornly, and he actually has the audacity to shove back against Eddie. Eddie would be proud if he wasn’t so desperate to get Buck out of there. 

I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be (Right in front of me) | Buddie

“We are definitely doing that again, because seeing and especially hearing you come apart like this is ridiculously hot,” Eddie says, his knuckles brushing over Buck’s skin lightly. 

Five times Buck is Eddie’s co-parent + One time he is Eddie’s everything | Buddie

“Buck,” Eddie says, his hand reaching out to cover Buck’s. He waits until Buck’s eyes meet his own before continuing, “Not only are you enough, you are the one I choose. I am talking about raising my kid, the most precious person in the world to me, my everything. With Shannon gone - ” He swallows hard. Of course there was Shannon. Despite everything that happened, Shannon was his mother and she loved Christopher more than anything in the world, was good for Christopher, and of course Eddie wishes that she could have been there for Christopher for so many more years. “For me, for Christopher…” Eddie goes on, “There’s only you and me.” 

You Hold In You What I Had Lost | Stony

Steve wakes up before Tony’s lips find his. He doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. He groans in frustration as he gets up out of bed and goes through his morning routine. He hopes maybe a cup of coffee will help him shake things off, but of course he stumbles onto Tony, Clint, and Natasha in the communal kitchen.

I'll be home at last | SamBucky

Another shrug. “I know that…” Bucky tries to steady his voice as he stares down at his arm. It’s not even the arm that bothers him the most but it’s the only thing that’s visible, like a giant advertisement to show to the world all the things that have happened to him. All the ways he’s not entirely like everyone else. “With everything they did, I know I’m not exactly… normal. But - ” 

How To Save A Life | Stony

“Steve?” Tony asks, “I need you to stay awake for me, okay? Can you do that?” 

(Hold me) Until I no longer am who I once was | Hardison/Eliot

“Love works in mysterious ways,” Sophie remarks. 

“That ain’t love,” Hardison says almost automatically, signaling to the bartender to bring him another one of whatever it was that Sophie felt he needed. 

“ That isn’t, no,” Sophie says, an almost amused edge to her voice and it takes Hardison by surprise enough to tear his eyes away from where Eliot is sucking on a pale, smooth neck to look at her. 

Embrace The Fall | WinterIron

“Come on,” Tony says, standing up in front of Bucky. He’s wearing sweats that appear too big and a t-shirt that has holes in it, his hair is rumpled and his feet are bare on Bucky’s bedroom floor and this is a glimpse of what Tony looks like when he’s sleeping and it hurts Bucky almost as much as his arm. He isn’t meant to see this, no matter how much he wants to. “I need my tools,” Tony says, and because Bucky clearly hasn’t moved in an acceptable amount of time, Tony adds, “Can you walk?” 

Perfect Paradise (Staring back at me) | Stony

“Well, I didn’t suspect you’d go as far as an assasination plan or anything,” Tony says, finding his trademark quip again, as he takes a few steps towards his closet to grab something to cover up. Being shirtless around Captain America makes one feel a little bit self-conscious… Though if Tony is understanding this correctly, he might have to get over that? “But I definitely got the feeling that my charming personality was… How shall I put it delicately? Annoying the fuck out of you.” 

Since I'm late in doing this, I'm guessing everyone and their cat have already been tagged for this? If you haven't yet and would like to do it, consider yourself tagged by me!

[astralartefact]

Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Entry 007 - Starfield: Shattered Space <<Prev: The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom

Synopsis

Maybe on the planet of culturally-ambiguous lizard cultists (i'm sweating in white, their words not mine) we'll find someone who should be asked the Gretchenfrage.

...i just think it's funny to bring up the word gretchenfrage whenever i get the chance

How much did I know before playing?

Listen, I contemplated writing a post about this at all - what will it do to my already tangible lack of credibility etc etc - but I think it's only right and fair and truthful to take accountability even and especially for my bad sides...

The truth is I just love playing self-insert character creation open world rpgs. I love them, the weird first-, second- to third-person escapism of it all, I feel like I connect to games like these and how they work at a primal level - my "perfect game" would absolutely be a very specific kind of this sort of game - all that to say I know

Did I like it more than I expected?

We all knew Starfield was going to be bad, they had multiple seperate events where they used Microsoft big bucks to demand the whole world's attention only to sit there for an hour plus while talking about "Immersion" or some other meaningless marketing buzzword while showing nothing but concept art and maybe a pre-rendered cinematic and nothing else, it couldn't possibly have ended up as worthwhile - but that's not what I'm playing these games for, I just like pretending to be not!Me who's hot in the exactly right way

Did I think the DLC would change anything? no absolutely not

Since [absolute meh], here's what I liked about it

I think it looks nice. I actually do like the aesthetic of Starfield, I know not a lot of people are particularly fond of it. btw stay with me here while i'm speaking of the dead but I do think Concord and Starfield went for the exact same aesthetic it's just really really REALLY easy to slide into absolute meh territory

I do prefer the way they handled the DLC planet as one big open world zone instead of putting everything on three different planets. It's still not worth exploring anything, but at the very least it's more cohesive and you don't run into the same things twice in a row (at least not right away)

What did this game make me think about?

Nothing. And not in the nihilist way. It's that thing that happens when you go on a walk and you notice that the remnant thoughts from whatever you did before are still bouncing through your head because there's simply nothing else going on that could lead to any other thought. For a DLC that's fully about religion, I had 0 thoughts about religion while playing this.

actually, fun fact: i would consider myself somewhat of a "positive nihilist", i do think there's no inherent worth/value/reason for life/existence but that is good actually bc that just means you can make your own! if nothing is worth anything everything is worth the same amount <3 could you imagine if starfield was about that

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

I'm actually not sure how "good"(tm) I think they are but the way Starfield does Final Quest Gauntlets/Big Dungeon Deep Dives is fascinating to me, they feel very energetic even though there's nothing really happening that's actively pushing you forward. I don't think they're particularly well designed from a 'game design' perspective or anything, I'm sure someone could blast them to shreds in a "gameplay analysis" video essay, but to me the structures you're fighting through actually feel very big and grande in a somewhat sensical way.

Also I actually kind of liked the Religious Initiation Ceremony, it's just wild to me that instead of making it optional they make you do it and then for the rest of the quest line they waste one of your two to three dialogue options on a mandated "You religious people are weird!!!" option; also that weird merchant follower dude will loudly judge you, the player, for every single choice that's anywhere leaning into the roleplay of it all, fuck that guy, he sucks ass (also why is he there, i didn't pay attention to what he was saying, wasn't i supposed to be the only outsider here)

Outstanding Audio

There was a boss theme I liked, I think. All in all the Audio is fine I guess, at least when it doesn't creation engine-ly blare over a npc discussion expositing lore at you, but that just reminds me of skyrim <3

Favorite Character

The receptionist guy in the hall of healing with his robot was kind of hot. Something about him did it for me. Doesn't even have a name :(

Favorite Arc/Story Line

ahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Favorite Set Piece

If there's one thing they have gotten down with Starfield compared to say Skyrim it's Set Pieces and I will defend those, like I absolutely hate the way the Crimson Fleet Quest Line and every single character in it is written but damn, I have actually replayed it more than once just to do the Lock, the Vault and the final assault again...

In this DLC that set piece is the final dungeon - the "final boss" and then rushing outside felt really cool (even though it ends with the lamest culmination cutscene ever lol)

Best Performance

I actually really liked the voice acting? They used a lot of (differing) accents but it all worked, I didn't really notice a lot of weird line reads or anything.

btw, as a german with english as a second language I noticed I have this very weird thing with heavy accents in english voice acting where I tend to think they sound weirdly fake when they're recorded "too well" (I know, really weird, feel free to judge, but I cannot listen to a single second of xenoblade 2 i cringe into my shell, i do not have this problem with those accents in rl or "normal" tv shows but i guess in any abstract art styles like anime? prison) (for me not for them)

German Localization Notes

So, in it's current "official" state german doesn't really have they/them pronouns. While it's possible to rephrase a lot of sentences to get around it, there isn't really an official, grammatical way to directly refer to someone without the mention of their gender on the level of the singular they/them pronoun in english - and because there's certain ways around all of that, it wasn't really a pressing problem until the last few years.

You see, the only people that really need that sort of thing are Non-Binary People, and as we all know those only exist since the 2010s (/s) - and while Germany as a whole was actually somewhat quick to at the very least acknowledge that the additional gender category "Divers" is a thing ("Divers" = various, do not translate as diverse in this context) - changing the way your entire language works around it is a little bit harder especially since we can't just copy the way english does it because our they (=sie) is coincidentally the exact same word as our singular she (=sie) - so that doesn't work unless we decide to embrace the generic femininum (btw underrated i think we should try it)

So we kind of have to figure out a way to introduce a neo-pronoun into our language (which makes it necessary to debate "which one" on top of the regular "if any at all") to accomodate even just those Non-Binary-People that would get away fine with they/them in english which is an interesting linguistic problem to have.

Anyways; Starfield has actually translated the non-binary they/them as a german neo-pronoun (i think it's dey? not sure and gaming journalism has taught me i don't have to look that up before posting this) and I was really fckin confused because I thought it was a really weird spelling error.

Then again - as someone who didn't really have a clue how this specific one works, as was now demonstrated to me it's pretty easy to just go "Oh! That's what that was! Neat!" when encountering something like that. I still won't be able to use it without looking it up, but sometimes only communicating in pre-written answers comes in handy, I guess.

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

ahahahah AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

Hey there gamers in the hate mob, stay hydrated! Have fun out there campaining against capitalist practices but don't forget! Any agitated group of people that considers themselves exploited by some sort of superior standing class is ripe to be co-opted for things like *Populism*! Make sure the force of your emotions is used for reasonable purposes and isn't taken advantage of by fraudsters who try to make you lose focus on what truly matters by riling you up against problems that don't actually exist! Remember to point your fervent rage at the people with too much money to ever care about anything at all! Do you actually think annoying ""woke"" people on the site formerly known as twitter are the problem of your woes or is it the rich white man exploiting 50000 people in a single breath whose budgeting decisions make your work life hell?

Anyways, love you all, go vote people who aren't weird af <3

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

Okay, there's one specific reason I've decided to type out all of this and it's to eject that one sentence that has scoured the corner of my brain that vocalizes my inner thoughts for far too long. So. Here it goes:

"It's almost awe-inspiring how resistant to learning Bethesda Softworks proves itself to be." - Me

That's the thought. That's the singular thought that bounced through my brain while playing all of this. I can't believe this is the 5th (probably more, didn't count) time you made this game in a slightly different theme of the year and apparently you guys have just not learned a singular thing while doing all that.

The entire game feels as if it was made without a single thought. Nobody in a position of power over this thought. At all. It feels like the people deciding what to write, what to produce, which pieces to build to then put together, have never played a Game of this type, a Bethesda Game, ever. Nobody has asked "Would I as a player actually do or care about this" ever, not a single time at any option whatsoever, be it narrative choice or gameplay function. The only people that thought were the low-level workers actually making the stuff that they're told to implement, like the assets, I guess, at the very least those look pretty good.

Like, who decided on these Open World Mechanics. You have made this game 5+ times, you should know that even just economically speaking there are far better ways to populate a world than how you did it here. Why would you not also make dungeons much more PCG-heavy when you already make all the planets PCG anyways? Why is there not a single "Hey, you used this pre-built location the last time, don't use it again right away" rule in your PCG generator? You know you can just do that right? Store a reference and then go "this was the last one generated, if it's this one again try again!" That's like three lines of code or something! Did you not think running into the exact same place twice in a row would be weird as fuck? Did you not realize that this would almost immediately happen when the total amount of your randomized items is like, 5, which is a problem in and of itself.

Food feels absolutely useless, most of the stuff that accidentally ends up in my inventory heals an entire amount of 2 entire HP - and yet with this little use why is there so much fucking food (and why does it look so good?).

The Writing is atrocious. Just. Not even just bad, it's baffling. How can you go through years of people pointing at New Vegas, you have to have seen those tweets, that's one of those games everyone agrees is good which means bullying in its name is acceptable; Hbomberguy, the one Video Essayist really everybody knows, made 2 entire video on it! It's impossible you haven't heard criticisms of your style of writing because people will have parroted whatever he said to you on your socials to hell and back - but regardless of how annoying those twitter weirdos are, how do you still go through years of being beaten to death with it and take absolutely nothing, 0, nihil nihil nihil from it, not even a little bit? honestly crazy to me. how???

And once again, it doesn't even make sense from a economical perspective because the way they did it now results in more work than if they just sat down, thought about what they were doing and wrote fewer, meaningful, concise but efficiently written storylines that actually differ from each other instead of what they did, which is giving the same side quest four different, equally as boring endings that are at most minor alterations of each other, three of which nobody will ever care about because why would I not just choose the obvious good ending, the easy everyone is happy choice instead of a miniscule extra reward I do not need in the slightest because money has no value - but then all of those endings still result in a distinct, hand-crafted, voice-acted 3 minute dialogue each that you will only happen to stumble across on accident when you pass that particular house four hours later and have already completely forgotten about that quest. Same amount of work for far less use - but hey, thank god, at least we have Immersive Storytelling!!! How delightful that the environment remembers your actions!! How Real Life of them! Surely I will care about the other result when on my Next Immersive New Game Plus I try the other, fundamentally worse option!

I have to assume that having good writing would make them liable for damages to Obsidian in some way, because how do you write any of this and even just feel. anything??? This can't possibly be what you wanted to write? And if it is... o-okay? *silent judgement*

also who on the team thought it was fine to make the religious fanatics lizard people come on

[disoziative]

OCT 2017

I couldn’t believe my eyes, when you finally stood in front of me.

You looked even better that the pictures

After almost 4 years later, and my visits in 2 psychiatric wards

It was dark, the bus stop empty.

I texted you, you should get ready

I’m here. I actually made it.

7 hours seemed nothing compared to the final moment I could watch you, kinda stare.

I didn’t even care I didn’t plan at all how to get back. 700km apart.

You slowly walked over says what you always texted me. “Hi, na”

But it was the first time I ever heard you speak.

We were sitting at the bus stop, you chose to take my hand.

We went inside after an hour, you were getting cold with shorter jeans and your pullover.

I knew that I would full blown overwhelm you. 700km is a trip. You smoked a lot and barely made it through the day.

You laid in bed, you kisses me but I never seen someone shake as much as you. You fell asleep relatively quickly, turned some music on, many of which you said were “our” songs.

I couldn’t sleep. Fuck I waited literal years to actually look into his eyes. Watch every contour of his face, how his hair laid perfectly every time he combed it with your hand, how his nose was perfect, I know you fixed it for some extra bucks, when you had a medical one.

As you slept I held your hand as tight as I could, I never thought there was the slightest chance to be in a bed next to his side. I though it was a miracle we lived simultaneously in the same space and time continuum.

It got dark very quickly and I could only hear the Music and his silent breathing. When the right songs came up, I instantly started crying, pulling me to him. I know how fragile our future became with my unexpected visit.

I loved every second of it. It was years of imagination and desire coming true. This was the defining moment of my life: I finally saw him, the one I gave control over my life for 5 years. He was my light. He seemed to like me too. He was asleep but at least I was with him.

My dissociation signaled something was wrong. Reality started to melt away. The darker it got , the more illusions I had.

I fell asleep in his armes a little later, watching his plants grow fingers reaching in a way like they want to grab me. Pulling me into the flames of hell. Oh if I would have known what future was laying in front of me. What suffering I had to endure. How many Liters of blood I would lose. How many blades I’d dull.

We both had the same mobile phone. Same color, just a different background picture.

I heard a phone notification and instantly thought it was mine. I stood up to the table and checked who texted. “Darling”. It room me a few moments to comprehend that this was his phone and that I have him saved as “soulmate”. Well. That’s when I found out he had a girlfriend. And that he was cheating on her with me. He was my light and he turned me into gasoline.

The next day he said he had to do some work, his father needs him. I don’t recall. I couldn’t stay an other night. I had to leave and I knew exactly why.

Everything he said I was for him, every single word was lied. I fell in love for over 5 years with a ghost. Everything I became, I became because of him, for him, every sacrifice I made, every drug , every overdose just to talk to each other. Just to have him reply once more.

Everything my world consisted of was a lie. I was nothing and no one anymore. The whole world was a lie. I couldn’t even trust my own eyes.

We didn’t talk much after that. I had nothing to say. He ripped my heart in front of his door and I left. I was crying everywhere I could without gaining to much attention. My psychosis got worse and worse. My body, soul, mind and consciousness was dissociating from the trauma someone I loved with every beat of my heart, put on me.

I don’t know how I made it home alive. I don’t know how I survived alone over night in a huge city with decent crime and junkies. But somehow I did.

But even tho I somehow I made it back alive, I felt like a huge part of me, something crucially - vital for my well being and life died in these few nights.

October 2017 changed my life.

And with all these years going by I never healed from this Trauma. You know it hits different, when the child abuse you grew up in didn’t have the slightest impact compared to this. He didn’t just ripped a void inside my chest, he took something from my soul, my conscience I can never get back.

[ameliasbitvh]

𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ; 𝐓.𝐌.𝐑.

a/n: special tag for my bsf @wolfstar-lb 😍 towards the end there's a little tvd crossover LSHJSGSHSH ugh im gonna write for stefan rn !!

library account: @ameliasbitvhlibrary

summary: vampire!reader spots tom riddle and decides to do the wizarding world a good little deed. (smut & character death) — nsfw rule

wc: 1.4k

requested: yes | | no

warning(s): character death !! blood kink, blood, reader feeds off of tom, smut, oral sex (male receiving), kind of non con bc tom is compelled but breaks thru it and reader compels him again, degradation kink, rough sex, and the kiss with stefan is fr rough and not proofread!!

⇢ ˗ˏˋ REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

[ navigate ] [ another tom fic ] [ masterlist ]

—

tom wandered around the forbidden forests, every step he took making a crunch on the fallen leaves. he was out here tonight to play a dangerous game, he was looking for someone to sacrifice for a horcrux. 

as he kept his pace and kept walking, he noticed a figure, a shadow in the misty air. he squinted his eyes as the shadow moved slowly. 

you knew he was watching you and god you were starving. there was one way and one way only that you knew how to get a fresh supply of blood, seduce and kill. 

your hips swayed back and forth, alluring him closer to your body. 

tom didn't know what was happening? why he moved closer to you? but once he did, his eyes finally made out what he was seeing. a beautiful girl. 

your hips swayed with the wind, the breeze in your hair giving him the perfect view of your side profile. 

finally, the moment he had been waiting for. you turned around, your sharp feline eyes meeting his. his eyes grew wide when yours collided with his. 

your gaze was so intense that he couldn't look away, suddenly there was a glint in your eye that made him feel euphoric, high in the sky. 

your seductive lips moved with a motion that beckoned him forward, "come here to me, pretty boy." 

he obeyed, his legs carrying him to you. 

"good," you smirked. 

now, he was right in front of you. 

your hands reached out, roaming his broad and strong shoulders. 

they found the pumping pulse in his neck, you could feel it racing against your fingertips. 

he was dazed, his eyes dreamily intoxicated; fixated on your body. 

he knew you weren't a drug but you got him so high. the same way you felt about blood.

your lips brushed over his ear lobe, nibbling on it, a whisper ushing from your lips. "tell me, what were you out here for?" 

his adams apple bobbed up and down for a moment, "to find a sacrifice for my third horcrux." 

"horcrux you say?" well of course you had heard of that devilish object, it wasn't a product of mankind in your eyes. only the darkest of all would attempt it, telling you exactly how this boy was. 

no one would miss him? so it's fine, you're doing good for this. you like to call it: charity work. 

"and your third one? you are certainly naughty, mommy's gotta put you in place doesn't she?" you pouted, your arms wrapping around his neck. pulling him closer to you, your lips ghosted over his. "i gotta teach you a lesson, don't i?" 

following, your lips collided on his. fiercely your tongue fought his for dominance, his hands under your thighs lifting you up he slammed your body against a tree. you let out a harsh moan and bit his lip with your fangs in response; blood spilling from his blushed lips. 

your tongue immediately lapped it up, tatsung just how sweet he was. his intoxicating flavor forced your hips to rock against his cock. the movement making his cock harden. "fuck —" he groaned, but was cut off as your hand danced down his clothed abs into his pants. 

"you feel my hand right there, sweetheart?" 

he nodded his head, tossing it back he bucked into your hand. 

you laughed at him. "so fucking pathetic, stupid bitch." 

you soon removed his belt, falling off his waist it clanked against the decorated forest ground. 

your hand pumped his length, "so big, i can't wait to taste you again." 

you slithered onto your knees in front of him. 

his eyes were already glued on you, ready for your every move he was guessing. again, you jerked him off. teasing him you tapped his tip on your tongue, making him whimper. "be patient, darling, because you don't have much longer." 

you swirled your tongue around it, slowly taking it all in your mouth. fuck, he was big. 

the head of his dick hit the back of your throat making your eyes water. bobbing your head back and forth you moaned tasting his sweet cock. but his blood was sweeter, making your teeth rot for it. 

you didn't have a sweet tooth, it was more of a...per say; blood tooth. 

especially the blood of a man. 

what could you say? you're a maneater. 

at first you weren't because you thought it was too many calories, but boys just tasted so good. you couldn't help yourself. 

as your pace increased you felt him twitch in your mouth and immediately pulled away, in reaction he moaned and groaned. "if you wanna cum, you're gonna cum in me. got it?" you tilted your head, your tone making his cock strain more than it did before because fuck he wanted to fill that pretty pussy up. 

standing up, your thumb swiped his lip, removing the blood and you sucked on it. "if you want to fuck me, say please." 

even under your spell, it seemed his pride was still intact. but it did flash in your mind for a moment if he had broken out of your compelling powers. who knew what he was capable of? 

"just let me fuck you." 

"you're so cute, but say please." you laughed with a 'warm' demeanor. 

fine, if he wants to play the hard way, you'll play the hard way. 

slowly your fingertips grazed your body, pulling your black laced panties under your skirt. you flapped your skirt up, flashing him. a challenging smirk on your face, you bent down to dust off your shoes (that clearly had no dust). giving him a view of your sex, he inhaled the cool air flowing between the two of you. 

his hand reached out to grab your wrist, but you were faster than him and snapped around before he could even comprehend it. his eyes widened in shock. 

"what the fuck?" 

"what is it, baby?" you cooed, feigning what you clearly knew he saw. 

"are you a —" 

"fuck I'm so wet." you moaned, your legs wrapping around his torso. your hot cunt on his throbbing cock. you rocked against him, riding on top of his sex. he felt the heat of you spreading through his body. "you fucking bitch — p—please just let me fuck you." he groaned, pre cum spilling from his tip. 

"since you asked so nicely." you grinned, sliding his cock inside you. you slammed your sex against his, both your hips swaying together. 

hot and sweaty skin clapped in sync, heavy moans leaving the both of you, his skin glistened in the moonlight. 

your lips stamped kisses onto his neck, turning into hickeys. 

those hickeys gradually becoming rougher, into small bites and nips at his skin. he hissed each time, but his thrust got faster. 

but since this was going to be his last time, you guess you could help him out a bit. 

being a vampire had its perk, like speed. 

your hips came down on his quicker, harder, and faster than he thought possible. he for sure would've toppled over if his back hadn't hit a tree roughly. 

you felt his cock twitching slightly inside you, he was close. perfect timing. 

slowing down you pulled away from the safe coven between his neck and shoulder that had been hiding you. 

"im not sorry for this." but so lost in pleasure he couldn't even hear you. 

you shoved your mouth on his neck, your fangs sinking into his delicate skin. 

"what — what are you —" 

retrieving from his neck for a split money you shush him, your eyes having that familiar glint in them making him feel high. "shhh." 

you returned back to your meal. your hips moved at lighting speed with his, his dick thrashing in you as he came for the last time. mumbles, groans, and curses leaving his lips. 

you came right after him, your mouth sucking his throat even faster as you suppressed your moans against him. 

pulling out of him, you let his body slip onto the ground as you bled him dry. 

"y/n! what did i say about feeding off these school boys." a familiar voice scolded you, but a playful banter in his tone as well. 

ripping yourself off of the brunette, your eyes met a copper head. "oh, stefan! im just trying to have fun, come and join me won't you." you laughed standing up, tom's blood leaking from your luscious lips.

the vampire took strides to you, his hand grasped your chin. "let me have a taste, my love." 

both your lips collided, he groaned into your mouth, his lips growing stronger and stronger with each stroke. 

you retrieved from him, veins surrounded his dark eyes. a grin stretched your face. "well look who it is, the ripper." 

"don't you have so much to say, maneater?"

—

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