#in my dorm it felt like I was in a one room house bc I didn’t like going to the main room (I was scared of talking to my roommates lol)

[theintelligentfool]

i enjoyed high school! i had a lot of friends! some of them were even close! but holy SHIT . i can say, with full confidence now. HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS SHIT and im GLAD I DON'T GO THERE!!!

[elliespassagerprincess]

super confident!ellie x really bold and forward reader at a party and they’re both just bored and the more ellie talks to reader the more shes stumbling over her words by how quickly she responds to ellie’s lines and ellie knows she’s fucked bc she cant stop thinking about the girl that she fucked at the party yayyyyy

Rose - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! i had so many ideas for this, i might make a part 2 because yes or ill make a different version ughhhh...i hope you enjoy it<3

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

warnings: sexual themes

Summary: in which she cant forget you

authors note: i submitted my application, lets see if i get accepted because i will lose my mind if i don't

masterlist

The smell of weed was the first thing that reached Ellie's nose when she walked into the house.

Mid term exams has had her stressed and she's barley been out. Whoever said college would be easy, lied because she's never been this stressed.

She needed to blow off some steam and what better way is there than to get blackout out drunk and to fuck a random girl she'll never talk to again.

It was too early in the night to make a move. She need to wait for the straight girls to get drunk, and for the overly emotional girls to come her way.

She sat on a couch scanning the room. So many victims, so many options.

Who will be the lucky girl tonight?

"You know its gross to eye fuck innocent people?" she heard a voice talk next to her.

A small frown appeared on Ellie's face when she turned to you.

Holy shit, who are you?

Her eyes scanned your body.... fuck

Maybe you'd be the lucky one

You noticed her staring and you rolled your eyes before saying: "Take your pervert eyes off me"

Oh you were feisty.

Ellie never had a problem with women. Most of them threw themselves at her, all she needed to do was say a few words and give them a small smile and they'd be moaning her name minutes later.

She was confident that she'll get you too. She just needed to pull out all the stops when it came to you.

Ellie chuckled at your comment "I'm not a pervert, I'm just checking to make sure you don't have a weapon on you?" she joked.

"What weapon? My strap on?" You snorted.

oh.

Ellie wasn't expecting that.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" you teased at her sudden silence.

Ellie shook her head quickly gaining her composure.

"Has anyone ever told you that you were pretty?" She quickly tried changing the subject.

You hummed "quite a few... has anyone ever told you that you suck at flirting?"

Now this made her jaw drop.

You didn't giggle like she expected, you didn't give her a shy smile.

What the fuck is happening?

"You're boring" you state, you got up and left.

You left the Ellie Williams speechless.

The longer the night went on the more her mind drifted to you. Her mission of finding someone to fuck ended as soon as you came into the picture.

She wanted you. She was on a mission to find you. But between all the people grinding up against each other she thought that would be impossible.

"Hey there loser" she heard your voice she immediately turned to you.

"h-hey" did she just fucking stutter?

"Did you find someone to fuck yet?" you asked she shook her head.

"Maybe we can..." Ellie went silent, too shy to finish her sentence.

She made two scissors with her hands and she made a scissoring motion "you k-know.... me and you"

You laugh at her. You fucking laugh at her.

"Don't be pathetic, use your words"

Ellie felt humiliated. Why were you telling her what to do? Normally she was the one giving orders. Ellie decided that its time to switch roles. She wanted to be in charge.

"Well lets go to the bathroom and ill show you what i can do"

"so you're saying im some kind of cheap fuck?"

"N-no i mean... i meant like-"

"see fucking pathetic"

Ellie was sweating, her cheeks were tinted in a dark shade of pink.

What were you doing to her?

You gently took her hand "show me where your dorm is" was all you said.

The rest was a blur to her.

Lips passionately touching each other, clothes flying off, your fingers in her. A tiny rose tattoo on your left shoulder. She's never cum so hard in her life.

After tonight she knew you fucked her over.

No one had made her this nervous, no one has ever made her finish this hard, no one had ever made her this submissive.

Who are you?

Ellie groaned when she heard her alarm go off. She rolled over to the side of the bed you were laying on, but you weren't there.

She opened her eyes to a cold empty bed.

"Fuck" she sighed.

She never got your name, she doesn't have your number, she doesn't know anything about you.

The memory of you on top of her, you moaning was all she could think about.

Fuck, how she just forget that? How could she forget you?

The only thing she remembered was the rose tattoo on your left shoulder.

"Fuck rose who are you?"

<3

[kyurizeu]

#14 - kisses and hugs (Im)possibly fate (TEXT)

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Previous - masterlist - next

Warnings: fluff. Fluffy fluff. Angst and stress. Also not proofread bc yk me;)

Word count: 1,4k

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“I have to go now guys… byeeee annyeong!!” Just as you shut the live off you felt how every drop of energy drained out of your body. Your lips faded into a line trying to hold still to not fall into a frown. Your eyes became teary and you felt your breath getting shaky. Deep breaths yn. It’s okay.

“Kiranaaaaaa are you here?” You peeked into the kitchen and soon the whole house until you had to go check her room. “Knock knock? R u here kira?”

“Yep! U ready?”

“Yeah”

She came out of her room and soon plopped into the drivers seat of her new shiny car. “Damn this is cleaner than I expected” you slid your finger over the surface of the steering wheel as if you were looking for dust. “I just got it so… haven’t got time to trash it yet” “makes sense”

“Where do i drop u off?”

“Oh yk where the nearest seven eleven is, right? Drop me off there”

“At the seven eleven..?”

“Their dorm is most likely surrounded by people and i do not want to get caught near his dorm.”

“Okay smart”

——

“Ty kira bye!”

“Bye! Also call me when u need a ride back! Dont be too late and call me if u need help!”

“I’ll be fine dw”

You sneaked into their backyard and knocked onto their glass door which you saw a very startled Niki through. You mouthed “i’m sorry” to him and he rolled his eyes before sliding the door open. “Where is-“ “Jungwonnn!! Your girlfriend is here” he yelled reaaallly loudly facing the direction of jungwons room. Jungwon soon sprinted out of the room to hug you tightly. “Ugh get a room.” Niki muttered as he went back to the kitchen table to eat his cereal. Jungwon placed a million soft kisses all over your head also letting out little “mwah” sounds on purpose as he hugged you softly and moved both of you back and forth slowly. “Jungwon- i cant breathe..” he chuckled and placed his hands onto your cheeks to plant the final kiss on your soft lips. For a second he just adored your face and smiled at you lovingly. “Let’s go into my room so i can kiss you in peace” he glanced at niki annoyingly and grabbed you by your wrist.

His room was cozy but messy…ish… i mean there werent clothes all over but the room was a bit unwell decorated. That didn’t matter though because he was laying on his bed with open arms and a warm smile. You took the opportunity to jump onto the bed and hug him tightly. He started kissing your cheeks and caressing your hair. “Honey look at me” you looked up at him into his soft and gentle eyes. “Youre so beautiful”

The words that usually made you smile, blush or feel butterflies now made your eyes teary and throat dryer. Your slight smile turned into a downward one and your lips started shaking. Jungwons eyes widened a little and his hands came back onto their favourite place on your cheeks. “Yn… did i do something wrong?” The poor boy looked confused and concerned. You bursted into tears and hid your face in your hands. “I-i’m sorry honey are you okay?” He pulled you into his chest to hug you as he rubbed your back and head softly. “N-no you didn’t do anything wrong…” you mumbled against his soft hoodie. He just hugged you more tightly and placed you onto his lap.

After a while your eyes started drying a bit and you sniffled once before backing away from him to smile softly. Your nose was a little red and eyes were swollen. “Im sorry won.. i ruined the night” he tilted his head with furrowed brows and still wide eyes like a deer in headlights. “No no no you didn’t it’s good that you’re here. You’re safe and you can cry. I’m here” his hands were resting on your waist and they connected together behind your back. “Do you want to talk about it or just cuddles?” He pouted at you and watched as you wiped some tears into your sleeves. “I-It’s just that… I can’t stand my job right now. My manager is a pain in the ass and i’m just ruining everything. I was so bad during our last comeback and i dragged you into this solo album dating rumour mess and- and i ruined your life too and i’m such an idiot and on top of that-“ you felt yourself being pulled into a hug again. “Yn… you are the sweetest most precious soul and I hate to think that you’ve been feeling like this because you deserve nothing but happiness and love. You haven’t ruined anything and you’re one of the most professional idols i know. You have nothing to worry about baby. Tell me, what would ease your mind right now?” He pulled away from the hug and kissed your forehead tilting his head after. “I.. i think some kisses and hugs.. and my fav movie.” You smiled through the teary eyes, red and puffed up eyes. “Anything my princess wants” he kissed your lips softly and scooted onto the back of his bed with you in his lap, letting his back hit the wall. “Make urself comfy and i’ll find the movie on my laptop” you cozied yourself on his chest and he placed a pillow on your thighs and the laptop on top of the pillow.

He was the sweetest man. His cologne wafting through the air was making you even more comfortable. When the theme song of the movie started playing your boyfriend started playing with your hair and running his hands through it.

In the middle of the movie jungwon thought he was hallucinating because of the small sound he heard. He looked over your shoulder as much as he could and then he heard the sound again— soft snores coming out of your mouth. Aw she’s so cute.. he adored you so much.. he took a 0.5 picture of you and laughed a little at it before thinking his possibilities through. A) wake you up and get you mad, B) let you sleep but you’d get mad because you’re late, C) let you sleep here the night but get you fired.

“Sweetie..?” He shook you softly and as you started opening your eyes softly he lifted you up onto his lap by your armpits. “Did u sleep well?” He smiled as he kissed your neck softly and pressed his face against the side of yours. You slightly blushed and felt embarrassed and annoyed that you had fallen asleep but you’d rarely gotten any sleep these days. “I’m sorry wonie… i-” a yawn interrupted your sentence and Jungwon chuckled at you. “I was so comfortable there… what time is it?” You turned to your boyfriend now. “It’s uhh… 22:28pm” he checked his phone before focusing all his attention back to you. “22:28pm?! Oh no i have to go home” you pouted and leaned in to hug him tightly.

“It’s okay sweetie we see each other almost daily” he laughed at the way you started clinging onto him suddenly. “You feel a little cold.. wait there..” he left the bed leaving you to lay on your stomach hugging the pillow in disappointment. “Here you go” you got up to sit on his bed until your eyes focused onto your favourite hoodie of his. Suddenly jungwon was dressing the hoodie on you. “I want you to stay warm” he smirked like always when he has something in his mind. “Jungwon… you just like seeing me in your clothes, right?” You laughed with a disappointed expression. “So what you’re cute with my oversized clothes” he shrugged and lifted you to stand up and hug him. “You like wearing my clothes too hm?” He rested his chin on top of your head and swung you two back and forth again. He loves giving these kind of hugs oml. “Yeah they’re comfy and smell like you” your hands rested on his lower back and you tried pulling away and pouted “jungwon i really need to go..”

“Okay.. just text me that you get home safely, mmkay?” He patted your head as you stopped hugging. “Yes okay… bye wonie.. i love you” he smiled as you left his room while rubbing your eyes with your hands in fists. “Love you too ynnie”

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Taglist: (open)

@harperwasstaken @strwberrydinosaur @letapostropheesgo @yngwife @chogolei @ddeonmixx @j-wyoung @xiaoderrrr @vivibelov3d @ablackbtsstan @chaechae-23 @vizstars @tlnyjoong @ahnneyong @deobitifull @jungwonnieee @yumilovesloona @ikeu4life @nyxtwixx @s02zjy @choclate32 @soobiverse @maimoirs @gigi-honeyjaes @aeriti @kimiplx @jakeify @sullkyoons2

[kylejsugarman]

aaahh syd how are you doing lately? :) also, have you ever thought of what au^2 and the epileptic jesse au would be like combined? how do you think that would impact jesse’s parenting? also i must know: when did you get into brba? did you know you’d love it right away, or did it take a while? :)

katherine hiiiiiiii 🥺 ive been doing ok!! i love my pediatrics rotation even if this particular stretch has had insane hours and im looking forward to going home for a few days for thanksgiving to see my dog. and in my head, they've sort of always been combined, i guess because like. the jesse who lives in my head and my posts is just always epileptic even when its not pertinent to the narrative. but in terms of au squared explicitly, his epilepsy is weaponized a bit by his parents when they're making their bid to obtain custody of baby. not exactly in a malicious way and not to the extent that his addiction history is, but sort of as another point against him (he isnt even responsible enough to manage his own condition half the time, what if his negligence with himself causes harm to baby??, etc.) jesse himself initially doesnt really think about it because during the first few months of baby's life, he's getting a lot of help from his parents (especially when his house is um. Uhh. in season 1) and rarely experiences symptoms at the same time he's with baby until one afternoon when he's standing up to bottle feed her and it suddenly hits him like a fucking freight train, so abrupt and violent that he has to sit down. he seized last night from standing, which is to be expected when hes bad about taking his meds, but what if he had been holding baby then?? what if he had dropped her?? maybe he's a little more sensitive and paranoid about stuff since domingo and emilio and the whole tuco thing, but the idea feels so horrifically real that it makes him sick. this realization happens in conjunction with the events of "down" and it marks a huge turning point in how jesse views his responsibility as a parent. not just in terms of protecting baby and refusing to let his parents lay claim to her, but also in terms of managing his epilepsy. he may not care that much about his wellbeing and whether he's ok or medicated or healthy or whatever, but he Cares about baby and she is relying on him to be ok. if he gets hurt, she goes with him. and from that point on, at least in the au squared universe, he would be a lot more diligent with keeping up with his condition the best he can given the Circumstances.

and i watched brba for the first time in summer 2018 which was actually kind of a Very Bad Time for me personally, but getting invested in brba and all the genuinely exhilarating action was a lifeboat. at the time, i wasnt like current syd levels interested in it, but it was definitely my favorite tv show and i bought a brba poster for my dorm room and of course ran across campus to get home and watch "el camino" that fateful friday it was released. it wasnt until i started bcs in summer 2022 that the special interest aspect of it truly soaked in for me, i think because i was just at a very different point in my life. i knew i was going to med school at that point, which was the world's biggest burden lifted off my shoulders, and i felt relaxed enough to truly indulge in every understated detail of bcs. finishing bcs up to season 6A of course led to me rewatching brba for the first time and that sealed the deal of like "oh my god this is incredible. this world is so expansive and detailed and tragic" :') so it did take a while but Boy Howdy—

[piduai]

what made you play yakuza in the first place? since you don't like any other game or gaming in general, is it because it's more narrative focused with lots of cutscenes?

no, i think its narrative is stupid and i skip the cutscenes where i can. years ago a friend came here on an exchange program but she couldn't fit a tv in her dorm room, so she left her ps4 at my apartment. she was spending the better part of the week at my place for a while and was playing this and that, including rgg. i was watching her play and rgg caught my attention because it was funny in a over the top ridiculous way, which i like. i think i touched the controller maybe twice as she played bits through 0 and 1.

then a while later life forced me into the worst period of my existence. i was desperate to distract my mind from what was going on, so i booted the ps4 and started up on 1 (bc the majima everywhere system struck me as fun when i was watching), played through it, then moved to 0. i remember dedicating a good amount of time to the disco minigame (koi no disco queen in particular) and the cabaret minigame in particular, grinded it from 10 pm to 8 am to my horror. in all honesty i do credit this franchise with helping me stay sane through a very rough patch.

she had 0, 1 and 2 on her device, and i played through them, then i bought ishin (physical disc) in a used store and played through it too. then my friend's exchange program ended, she packed up her ps4, and left. that would be 2020.

after a while i started missing the disco minigame (fixated on it more than anything else), but it seemed silly to buy an entire ps4 for one minigame within a game. eventually i gave in and bought myself a used ps4 (quite cheaply) as a bday present. that would be 2022. i didn't have many memories of that bad period in my life by that point, so i replayed through 0-2, and then went through with 3-6.

a few reasons i like rgg while having no interest in other video games:

emotional attachment due to the above

kiryu is voiced by kuroda takaya, who is my favorite seiyuu & who barely has any solid anime roles. hearing him felt like christmas. there's actually quite a few familiar voices in the series.

it takes place in kabukicho, which is fairly close to my house. i started going there often after getting into the series. in fact i'm going bar hopping there tonight as well. the familiarity helps a lot.

it's funny, fun, and doesn't take itself seriously. it's also stylish, has good aesthetics, and easy on the eye. i like the yakuza theme.

it has similar vibes to other series i like (jojo, gk) again due to its brand of humor.

it's a very easy game to play, so much so that even a complete noob like myself had no problems getting good at it.

it has a variety of minigames that are fun to grind.

in short it just came to me at a certain place at a certain time. i don't care about its plot or stuff like getting very good at combat/100% completion because i generally do not care about video games as a medium.

[problematicfanfics]

hey i got groped on friday night at the club in a “business casual” fit, sexually assaulted on a date tuesday wearing jorts and a loose t shirt, and then had to evacuate campus for hurricane helene bc we’re in flood zone A. now im staying with my uncle aunt and 12/11 year old cousins. i literally got no complete alone time to process what the fuck happened

the night i got sexually assaulted i basically just called up my friends and was like “hey date went like shit let’s go drink together!” but i genuinely just needed to get violently drunk and high. so i did very successfully. 12 heads in a singles dorm room space after downing copious amounts of wine, liquor, and weed while playing beer pong one floor above us. i took a ten minute nap before we went to mcdonald’s and when i woke up, i asked everyone if we were still going (it was 5 am and we said we were going for the breakfast menu), and they all said “bro none of us can fuckin walk” so i went back to bed.

tell me why i wake up at 7 am sharp, in the same clothes i was SAd in the day before, sleeping in my suitemate’s bed with her? i woke up to her face and i was like “yo why we sleepin together?? wait why am i in her bed???” so i got up to piss then walked into my room to get in my own bed.

i walk in to see my mattress topper halfway off my bed. i tried to push it back on but it wouldn’t budge. i’m like “damn i’m mad hungover if i can’t move a piece of foam.” i reach onto my bed to move my ikea bear (the really big one, i love him) and i fucking find my friend sleeping under it??

i start dying. like actually crying laughing. he gets up and he’s completely coherent he’s like “bro why you laughing?” i’m like “dude i didn’t know you slept in my bed what the fuck happened?” bc he’s literally one floor above us?? why didn’t u walk up one flight of stairs and walk ten steps to ur room? he’s like “well u went to bed in suitemate’s bed so i took yours” WHAT?? so i was like “go back to bed bro” and went back to sleep in my suitemate’s bed.

i wake up again at 9 am and go back into my bedroom to see how my bro’s doing.

tell me how my entire mattress topper was on the floor. the entirety of it. and he was still under seven blankets, my five throw pillows and the stupid bear.

he wakes up and my suitemate’s tells me ANOTHER MF was asleep in my room ON MY RUG. he left at like 6:50 am to walk back to the other side of campus to his room. i felt so bad like he could’ve stayed and i would’ve made him a comfier lil bed :(

at 10 am we all get a notif that we need to be off campus out of our rooms by 1. i’m tweaking, bc my uncle is the one who was picking me up and he didn’t get out of work until 5:30, plus 15-20 min to drive and pick me up, plus the hurricane weather, i wasn’t scooped until 6.

the friend who slept in my bed and i sat in the lobby and waited for his friend w a car to show up so we could at least get out of the school area for now. we went to get sushi, shit was buss. i explained to bro wit da car that i wasn’t getting scooped until at least 5:40 and he was like “nah it’s chill dawg we ain’t in a rush to get to the house we’ll chill w u” so i hung w them until 3pm when his aunt called him and told him he needed to go to the house bc of the storm.

so they dropped me BACK OFF AT THE SCHOOL. WITH MY STUPID SUITCASE. WITH MY SUSHI AND A HAT I STOLE OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. i was tweaking. freaking out, even. i still had 2 hours

they left and bc florida is florida, it was super fucking sunny and warm out. so i sat at one of the many outdoor tables we have.

and of course about 30 min later it starts pouring something fierce. i get soaked. i call up my friend and was like “fuck yall for leaving me in the rain” he’s like “bro i’m sorry i didn’t know it would start raining” YEAH ME NEITHER BUT BRO CMONNNN U COULDVE SAVED ME.

i find a small little indent in my dorm building to hide in w no cameras and i change my shirt. i was still wearing the exact same fit from the entire school day prior. i didn’t even have time to change my clothes by the time i cleaned up all the alcohol left out (which was essential, because they did room checks to make sure everyone was evacuated) and packed my bag properly to go stay w my fam.

same pants, unwashed hair body or face, sunglasses bc of how violently high i got in the morning to forget my week, and sopping wet socks. eating hours old sushi in the outdoor mechanics closet of my dorm.

BUT I STILL LOOKED FLY AS FUCK BC THE SECURITY GUARD COMPLIMENTED MY FIT WHEN HE CAME TO ASK IF I WAS OK 🗣️🗣️🗣️😤😤😤

anyways i’m still tweaking. i’m like actually just not ok rn. and the worst part is i enjoyed my weekend so fucking much. it was amazing and i was so happy how my life was turning around for the better, with a nice normal man (unheard of in my life), a good friend group, and doing decent in my classes. i hung out w a bunch of new people, met some old friends from the beginning of the year, never did too much drugs (even tho it takes a lot for anything to hit me anymore so it’s not hard to avoid, and i don’t enjoy that feeling)

i had so much fun, my friends were pulling cute people, i pulled a decent guy. and im just so mad because i pride myself in how good i am at reading people. and im always so cautious. it just makes me spiral because like i’ve spent my entire life making sure it doesn’t happen again and it DOES. like i do so much to protect myself. i literally don’t even have romantic attractions so every date i go on is like a “ok you’re a good person maybe we can make something work” thing, never like a love at first sight/i actively want to be with you thing, AND I LITERALLY TELL THEM THAT. AND I TELL THEM I DONT FUCK. SO HOW DO I WIN?

i’ll never win 🥲

[core4writes]

𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮//georgenotfound

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀：𝗀𝖾𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 

𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌：𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍，𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗁𝗈𝗅

𝖳𝗁𝗂𝗋𝖽 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗉𝗈𝗏

𝐚/𝐧: i felt like an emotional baby today so here is this. 𝖠𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖿𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗁𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗌. (BTW ENDING IS RUSHED BC I HAVE 0 MOTIVATION)

🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, You may kiss the bride." A tear swells up in my eyes as i watch him pity kiss the bride, even though it was a pity kiss it still hurt me to know the man i loved is up there with my best friend, paige. kissing her....marrying her. "are you still staying for the reception y/n? i heard there is cocktails." a woman said sitting beside me who happens to be y/n's friend, taylor.

"why did i even come here?" y/n says as my eyes are glued to the married couple walking down the aisle. "for paige remember." i take a second to remember to even come to this shit show in the first place, how did i even get hear, why did i let the man i loved slip away, was it my fault?

*flashback four years ago*

"oh come on y/n, just go with us it will be fun." my friend taylor try's to convince me, it's 12:30 a.m, were are sitting at my dorm room, i have to turn this assignment in by 7:00 a.m and they expect me to go to a stupid frat party with them. "listen y/n there are a lot cool people so you dont have to worry about being loser and not fitting in." Paige says with a smile "plus you got us so...well really you have taylor since im going to be making out with jacob." Paige says excitedly knowing that if she gets with jacob then she can go to all the cool party's.

"fine, i guess one party will not hurt me." taylor and Paige fulled with excitement, it all happened in a blur we were driving in a car, we were at the party, we were drinking, and now i'm alone at this party. im sitting on the ugly smelling couch as i watch frat boys play beer pong, and people making  out and socialize. i would look for taylor and Paige but im to drunk to even stand, I fiddle with the red solo cup in my hand.

a boy, a pretty boy stands in front of me. "hello, my name is y/n." slurring my words, "hello, i'm george." he pops right down next to me and smiles lightly, he has two drinks in his hand. "you look pretty lonely over here, so i got to a drink." he handed me a drink that i immediately chugged.

"are you british?" i say drunkenly as i lean on george taking in his cologne, "yes i am-" i cut him off "holy cow, a British frat boy ." he laughs at my drunk state, "holy cow." he mocks. "im not a frat boy, just a boy who happens to get drag to these party's by my friends." i gasp "the same thing happened to  me, my friends wanted me to come and i lost them i dont know where they are." as I was about to continue to rant I felt a uncomfortable pit in my stomach. 

"is everything alright love?" as much as i loved that i didnt have time to blush, i needed to throw up. i stood up and george stood up right after me holding onto my lower back, i started wobbling out the house with george chasing after me. i got out the house just to end up, throwing up in the bushes of the front yard. george seen and ran up to me.

he held my back and with the other hand he patted my back, "its alright, let it all out." his hands soothed my back as i puke, when i done i get up and dust my knees off. "hey lets get you some where private where you can clean off." george said. it all happened in a blur again he took me to his car, he opened his dorm bedroom, he let me take a shower, he let me wear his clothes, he even had to put on the clothes for me and he let me sleep in his bed all drunk.

The next morning, I wake up to feel a hand around my waist and someones head breathing in the croak off my neck. i shot up, looking over to see a random dark hair boy. he looked familiar, but i cant figure out who he is.

i take a good look at him for awhile till he bats his eyes open, "good morning." he sits up in bed right next to me "good morning," i say back. "did we do anything last night." referencing that we're in the same bed together.

he laughed "no...do you remember anything from last night." he gets up out of bed, he is shirtless. "uh, i wish i could." he pulls a blue t-shirt over his head "well my name is george." he put his hand out for me to shake it.

and a few months later we dated.

than broke up

*present*

me and taylor go to the reception, we are both wear light pink tinted short dresses. it matches the theme of pink rose petals, the party was good but there was something bothering me. not just the fact that my best friend is marrying my ex, but he was staring at me the whole time. as george and his bride cut the wedding cake he was looking at me, when they danced he was looking at me, when they kissed he was looking at me.

i felt bad and under pressured, the way he just had all his attention on me made me feel bad for Paige. i took one last sip of my cocktail and walked out the reception, I would be damned if I let him ruin my mood. i walk down the hallways walking towards the exit, i had to get in my car and get out of there. as i am about to reach the exit i hear my name.

"y/n.."

i turn to see george standing 5 inches away from me, "yes?" i didnt want to see him, this is his wedding day not mine. he comes closer to me and closer. our faces were inches apart now, and he traced my lips with one finger, lightly, lightly, then placed his lips there as if he’d drawn them into being. His lips were warm and soft. i broke the kiss, i had a gut feeling that shit was about to go wrong.

"im sorry george but i cant do this right now." i sigh.

"𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮." george said.

a/n: yeah im too lazy to finish lol.



[adhdbadass2003]

So my roommates and I were up last night stargazing and my other roommate walked onto the balcony like "wtf are you doing awake rn" and We were caught.

But anyways, it reminded me of the time I was 14 and was staying the weekend in one of my friends' college dorms. And me being me, ofc I was up at 3 am. And then someone else comes downstairs heads to the pantry and walks into the living room. Then we spotted eachother and both felt caught. Me bc I wasnt supposed to be up, him bc

1. Hes an athlete, he isn't allowed to eat junk food at like 3 am

2. His friends "lil sister" is downstairs at 3 am and he had no idea what to do

So in the end he just tossed me a blanket and we watched full house together

Idk why I felt like sharing this, just did.

Have a lovely day!

[ja0-s-blank-canvas-fic]

Part 3 - Chapter 20 - Anguish Shared

Blank Canvas Part 3

AO3 - here

Fanfiction.net - here

Happy Tuesday, dear readers! :D We're back again with another chapter. Got that promised sad fluff all ready for ya! Hope you like it!

Some reminders for you. In BC, the dorms opened early but were not originally mandatory. The ones who are in the 1-A dorms are Ochako, Aoyama, Kouda, Shouji, Shouto, and Satou based on plot stuff and the distance they were born from UA. Then for I-Island, those who were on the island were all the girls so Ochako, Hagakure, Ashido, Tsuyu, Momo, and Jirou as well as Kaminari and Tenya who helped out with the attack. Of course Izuku was there with Shouto, Mei, and Hitoshi. Then in the background were also Sero, Satou, Shouji, and Tokoyami. Just to be clear who was where to avoid confusion.

Linktree to all the things! This includes the discord, tumblr, and more! Join if you'd like! :D

Linktree to all the things!    

End notes for the chapter are under the line.

‘Individually, we are a drop. Together, we are an ocean.’ – Ryuunosuke Satoro(Or Akutagawa...I found two different names.)

I'm basing Izuku's whole insistence on team work on this quote I found. One of my biggest issues with canon is that Midoriya tries to take everything on all by himself like All Might had done. Makes me want to steal Aizawa's capture weapon and catch him to I can noogie some sense into his thick head. Team work is a thing!

Anyway, I feel so bad for Izuku in this chapter. Thankfully I found a way to comfort him through Shouto who certainly isn't complaining. :P Plus I love to keep teasing the kiss. It's coming! ...eventually. ;)

At least Izuku is getting comfort and support from his friends and mentors as well! Sh-sh-shout out to Serif, Rogue, Mousy, Christina, and cooper for help with Kouda’s bunny name. It can be found in Kouda’s trivia section on the wiki and is stated in the MHA School Briefs #3 chapter 6. Yuwai escapes Kouda’s room and explores the dorms during Midoriya’s and Bakugou’s house arrest. it’s super cute and hilarious being from Yuwai's pov. XD

I'll reveal the full layout of the dorm assignments when we get to that part. But for now, Izuku is close to friends and far away from Bakugou.

One thing I'd like to point out for just randomness. When I started writing this story, I came up with the idea of Inko framing Izuku's success with the beach just as a fun little detail. Well, in real life, I actually eventually started working at a place that does custom framing and I have experience with that stuff having worked in the frame shop. I will never be able to look at framed things ever again. XD So at least to me, those three frames hold a lot of significance. Marking his accomplishments as well as showing the love and support of his mom.

We got to see Shouto's pov when it came to his childhood. Now Izuku knows more about Touya though not the full story. Just some things I felt he should know. :P Also bonding over trauma for the soft boys.

That's all for now! Next update starts Izuku official first day living in the dorms. We'll be meeting a character we haven't seen in a while and no, it's not Stain. I'm still figuring out when exactly works best for him to meet up with Izuku again. It will happen but not yet. Just wanted to rip that bandaid off now before you got your hopes up. I'm not that cruel. :P Anyway, more bonding and fluff next chapter! Gods know Izuku deserves a break from all I put him through. Tata for now!

[poodledeer]

The timeline....

2015-2016

Dean 5 string bass, trans amber

First Act classical ( borrowed from a friend, first time really playing songs, noodling, recording)

First Act black strat (BORROWED from same friend electronics broken, use at practice with bass amp and clip-on contact pickup, first time hearing gain but not really. )

S*l's unbranded strat, BORROWED SOMETIMES he impresses me by being able to play Heat Seeking Ghost of Sex effortlessly, and some Asking Alexandria

2017-18

Anthony's parts strat (BORROWED at a few practices with jazz people from school)

pointy black ibanez shredder (BORROWED AND RETURNED ALL THE TIME at every practice while a certain friend is playing music with me, then leaves it with me and i record everything using it and a 1/4 in to 1/8 in adapter and a usb sound card. I'm not saying these recordinfs were good or good songs lol) I learned hammer ons and tapping on this and my friends are surprised that i know how to do downtuned chugging because i spend all day doing chromatic bullshit that sounds bad instead

2019-2022

Gozart butterscotch tele (First one that is mine!!!!!!!)(I mostly record demos direct-in, then simple ones miced up to an Orange Crush mini that i get gifted by karen. During uni i dont have anyone to play music with :( but i noodle to myself and do math tapping on this)

Squier bullet tele surf green (First university job.... This was a looker and i felt less bad being seen with it than the Gozart, but i never was seen anywhere with it except 2 times in the dining hall practice rooms with people i dont end up forming anything with :/) (When i remember moving dorms, moving all of my stuff by hand during covid bc i cant drive, i mostly remember holding this one, by the neck, walking up and down campus)

Ibanez artcore (Karen got me this while we lived in bay area together!!!! I'mpretty sure the action was fucked and it was my fault. It didn'tplay well after ending up on the east coast again and I didnt bother getting an allen key. It did remind me of the classical i started with though, and I played Brand New for my apartment mate to sing along to in my senior year [I don'tcare for Brand New] )

Unbranded sunburst strat from Karen's friend (he was graduating and I magnetically attract people to leave their unplayed guitars with me)

Mikael's dad's vintage tele (At practices with him; I severely don'timpress him, too razzled, not used to having amps or a drummer. My biggest L)

2023-2024

I get rid of all the ones i have, to instead use

Hello Kitty Squier (that was in my partners house already, probably second most recorded?)

Karen's bass (It says Bacchus on it, which is kind of amazing)

70s Epiphone restoration from the attic in this house... Its fretboard is dry as hell... not a player. Rubber rolling saddle bridge

eBay parts vintage white thinline tele (After hating the experience of the Kitty for nearly a year, I make this. In cruel irony i never get the setup to be as smooth, the strings as low, as hello kitty woth higher gauge strings on it, but at least i dont get blisters while using it, lol. The hello kitty went crazy up in value during this year because of youtube memes [I hate knowing this, but i found out about it] so we traded it into guitar center to get the parts money. Hey, nearly 20 years to get a little profit from a faceless corp?)

When i got rid of everything in 2023 got a trade in deal on a used huge Orange. I'm happy with it. Orange is the face of post hardcore scene kid bands and emo and whiners so it fits me. The stock speaker is excellent (I don't like how the v30s sound comparatively) but fizzles and tears way quieter than I expect. I guess i should mix it with a cab or get a better speaker and try to match it to this one with EQ. Don't really want to toy with buying things unless i can get rid of something to do it though

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

Right before I woke up I was really upset and behind on my packing bc I had sooooo much to pack still and clean out my room but I was the last person there and everyone had already flown out to their respective new places. Leaire was there - she was waiting for me and then I said to go without me. I had my suitcase packed, but then realized I totally forgot to clean out my entire room… with all the clothes still in the closet. Al the drawers and bookshelves were still full. But bc of the time crunch to make it to the airport, I had to be wise and pick n choose the last remaining items from my life that I want to bring with me in the next chapter. It did feel like we were at dad’s house. There was water between dad’s house and the barn, but the house felt like a bigger community space, and all the people from my life were there— sorority sisters, BR people, high school friends.

I vividly remember handpicking the clothes I wanted to keep bc I had soooo many and I was bummed they all couldn’t come with me. After realizing that tho, I kinda surrendered and was more focused on just getting to my next destination and GTFO. I had the same recurring thing happen where I’m upset, frustrated, feeling behind, and feeling a need to sexually release before I could focus on what was happening. The last few dreams I’ve been packing, feeling horny and a need to release before I do literally anything else, then me actually releasing and feeling good, then me going back to packing. It’s all a very weird conjoined (conjeeled*?) feeling that’s been occurring- the same exact order of events in my dreams. And I wake up right before I head to the airport.

I remember at one point looking at the barn and realizing nobody cleaned that out, I kinda felt / saw dad and thought oh he’s still at home to clean the rest of this out? I also remember thinking back to my freshman dorm move-out whilst IN the dream (so I had real earth flashbacks whilst in my symbolic dream) and the pressure/fear/disorganization/rushing/trauma felt the same….

It’s always that same terrible feeling of moving slow, I remember I couldn’t even walk that fast and then was frustrating. Time keeps passing and the pressure grows and I’m still in the room with my stuff everywhere. I was afraid I would get charged for so much stuff being left behind.

On a brighter note, the sentiment among all the people from my life seems happier towards me, accepting, more friendly and normal, like we were real friends. They don’t seem standoffish, judgy, mean and cold they used to feel in old dreams. People were genuinely happy to see me and to miss me.

There were a whole bunch of old photos with me Jack and dad and I had the chance to save them and bring them with me but I was getting overwhelmed by keeping too many that I just gave up and then became sad and frustrated over that. I was so sad looking thru those photos in the dream. At one point one, me Jack dad had fallen off the photo individually and I had to take a blank photo and put / rearrange the cut outs of me Jack and dad in the photo together like they fit before.

The universe is moving me quick….but it’s still wild all the recurring symbolism and exact order or events in my dream.

Oh Ps at one point I was on the water between barn and house and a huge giant wave /ripple thing came thru.

PSS- I remember at one point seeing this beautiful luscious garden of carrots. Carrots were growing all over the ground and hanging from all over the trees. Perfect looking mini orange carrots!!!

PSSS- I remember when everyone was leaving, some kappas and DGs got in Alex Hindman’s car and I waved bc everyone was just happy and had moved on and he waved back… it was super meta to have seen him again and to still be married to that woman I didn’t think would last lol. It was all good vibes honestly.

[watchyourdigits]

Eventually I'll do a write-up on the minor OCs in my fics. Perhaps build them their own little universes because they deserve it. Especially Alice and Eileen, my beautiful lesbian babies. Some backstory and faceclaims below for those who don't read my fics because I LOVE these two sm (general Night Letter ramblings as well below the cut, lots of rehashed stuff heh).

For those who don't read Night Letter, Frankie is my Sole Survivor OC. He's a gay (cowboy-adjacent) man born in TN. He was moved out to/raised in TX when he was ~4 by his father (who became an alcoholic) after his mom passed away while having his younger brother (who also didn't make it). He's got three older sisters who were very protective of him.

Frankie shipped up to Boston for the military after his dad caught him kissing boys & this lovely lady named Alice at a bar near her college/his station. They hit it off really well and found common ground in being closeted gays. They met up a few more times before deciding to get married to keep up appearances and maintain an "acceptable" social life. And also to appease both their families to remain in their respective inheritances, of course. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Eileen was Alice's live-in "friend". Or long-distance cousin, depending on the day. So far as anyone in Sanctuary Hills knew anyway lmao Surprise! They were partners and met in college. Frankie loved them both so so so dearly. They reminded him of his sisters back home, whom he missed constantly while settling down in Boston. Alice and Eileen doted on him furiously and were the only reason he stayed sane when Malcolm - Frankie's first true love that he met in the military - was killed in action. They kept him grounded.

Shaun was born from Alice and Frankie in the technical sense only. The ladies really wanted a kid together, and Frankie was willing & available to help with that (via sperm donation). He always felt more like an uncle than a father, and that's what they always called him: Uncle Frankie. I might be reconning my own fic here, in all honesty. I actually can't remember if I mentioned the term "uncle" specifically in Night Letter. Also I'm pretty sure I just said he was available to help in that department and never specified that he didn't fuck Alice!!!!!! ALSO he does strategically refer to himself as Shaun's father in the post-apocalypse because he thinks it legitimizes his cause to find him more than if he were just his uncle, saying it for the sake of emotional appeal to those he might need help from. You bet your ass he'll go back to being Uncle once Shaun is living with them :')

My FCs for Alice and Eileen are Elizabeth Taylor and Jane Powell (respectively) because I saw this one picture and couldn't help myself bc they are so goddamn cute

Do note: they are merely mentioned in the fic (posthumously obviously). I have ~problems~ because I have way too much in my head for them despite them not being relevant at all. Like how their first date was a total disaster because Alice stupidly suggested they get milkshakes. Alice does not like sweet things. Eileen does, but they're both lactose intolerant. Neither said anything because they were both just so nervous and trying to be romantic. The date itself was fine, but they couldn't meet up the next day because they were both SUFFERING. Both made elaborate excuses as to why they didn't show up, only to find the other hadn't showed either. They didn't talk about it, calling it a wash, and only found the truth out after two years of being together when wine drunk one night in Eileen's dorm room.

In other news, is it bad that I've considered making Eileen into a ghoul?? Alice was Frankie's legal wife so she was in the vault. But Eileen was out of the house when the bombs fell (not that she was registered for the vault anyway). I like to think she went ghoul instead of being struck from earth okay let me be 😭😭

Less important, but Malcolm (aka Mal, aka loverboy) and Frankie (aka Franklin Lee Barr aka don't fuckin' call me Franklin) are Sal Mineo and James Dean, respectively:

[bubba4576]

The recap of several years in a row 🫣

June 2023

Right now I’m sitting in the backseat of a different car (I drove a minivan for 20 years and now have a smaller car a rav4, which is cute and fun to drive but I admit I miss a big car! Maybe this one will become a car for one of the kids one day…) listening to my grown daughters chatter about life and Taylor swift and in the heights and…life. It’s otherworldly and beautiful to be one adult among many instead of the adult (well one of two:). I realized that I haven’t written in so long not because I haven’t had things to write but because the speed of life has had me running and barely a chance to catch my breath.

I’m not going to do a good job recapping three years but I’ll try my best

2020 fall: Lindley went back to Purdue -thankfully to an apt- the dorms were not fun during covid. we went back to school at BCS with plexiglass, masks shield and terribly smelly hand sanitizer. I had to teach in the classrooms all year since they were tying to minimize the kids leaving their safe spaces and infecting others. There were too many cases and quarantined to count.

Mal had covid in late oct but didn’t suffer too much. Mostly a really bad headache. So james and I had to stay out of school for two weeks. I started getting really good at recording myself teaching and making viable music lessons from afar. James and I painted the big room in the basement (oh we also changed out the flooring in the sunroom during the spring 2020 lockdown).

At thanksgiving we didn’t know how to plan with the cleveland family and in the end it just felt too risky esp with the grandparents, so we rented a little cabin in southern Indiana and hike and explored caves- it was pretty fun. Sadly lindleys found out after she was already with us that she had covid. So she masked most of the weekend. Funny moment: when you open up what you think is a turkey and it’s HAM! Ham for thanksgiving….. no bueno!

Christmas was strange also - we did a drive thru in the 24th in Cleveland. JT had his party outside in the garage with heaters. We stopped by Grammy’s and nana and grandpa’s houses and unfortunately unknowingly infected them:( when we got home lindley started not feeling great and we found out she had covid again. We were so worried that the grandparents would freak out but no one had symptoms so they were fine. We loved it when lindley would come home for break and even though it was hard to see her go she loved Purdue and her friends. That year she lived in an apt with Cori, Lydia, and Alexis. Next door was Libby, Hailey, Mackenzie and….?? Those girls also went to Guatemala together the next summer and had a fabulous time!

I hardly remember the second semester in 21- things were still online-like ISSMA- Mal recorded her solo at Sweetwater, james was in 7th grade, playing soccer for United and playing the saxophone at school. Things eased up as the year went on at BCS thankfully. Public schools were a mess all year- they had students come every other day so that there weren’t as many ppl in the building at the same time and the students could stay 6 ft apart. It was a mess for families whose parents needed to work out of the home. As the students were virtual in their off days. Many people say that not much learning and much stress happened that year. The seniors who graduated and began college are who I feel the worst for. So challenging.

By the summer, things were beginning to feel more normal. We could always notice a difference between Ohio and Indians tho- Ohio was much stricter. More masks for longer- more stores closed down etc.

Black Lives Matter and the me too movement were huge at this time. The George Floyd murder at the hands of cops set into motion a wave of protest and outrage in the nation. It hope it all produced some change.

Mallory worked at Old Navy that summer (masked the whole time) and enjoyed it although never really wanted to go back. She was good friends with Maddie Lehman during this time.

Lindley went to Guatemala after meeting a boy at a wedding in May ❤️ that boy ended up being the one 💕and they are getting married in three weeks! We love Josh and are excited to welcome him into our family. She is home for several days and now and we are working on wedding details. I love having her home and am feeling nostalgic that the 5 of us won’t be a unit any more. There is nothing bad about it, it’s just change…. 😢

Both girls had their senior years at the same time - Lindley dating Josh and trying to figure out her life :) she lived with Tori and Olivia Coats in an apartment off campus and second semester went back and forth between Indy and Purdue as she had an internship at Riley hospital there. She really loved the hospital setting and hopes to be able to return after getting her masters one day. Josh came to Cleveland with us that Thanksgiving and got to meet the extended family.

Mallory had a rough beginning to her senior year as he friendship with Maddie broke up and she never really knew why or had an closure from that. So hard. She began a close friendship with Will Guthrie after getting close to him at Youth group and began dating him in November. The group went in a backpacking trip to northern Michigan (north manitou island) and she sadly got Lyme disease from a tick bite and it resulted in Bell’s palsy for about 6 weeks- one half of her face was paralyzed!! It was pretty crazy- she had to tape her eye shut at night because she couldn’t blink it and put eye drops in frequently to keep it moist. She was on medication and things did clear up although it is something she’ll need to mention to every doctor for the rest of her life probably. :( even with that she had a great soccer season, chapel leadership went great, and she thrives through it. Her college auditions were delayed bc of her Bell’s palsy, but by January she was ready. She applied to many schools but zeroed in in Wheaton and Belmont and decided to audition there. After receiving a very personal acceptance letter from Hope College she also decided to add that to her list, and that was the place she loved the most. We were all surprised but it has been a great place for her!

James just loved life as the little brother of a cool senior - playing soccer and getting taller by the day. He is still easy going and kind of quiet. Once Mal left for school we realized exactly HOW quiet and introverted he really is. I wonder if we have talked over him all of these years? Has he had something to say that we’ve ignored? Maybe we’re making up for lost time now. He doesn’t complain and also doesn’t like extra attention which might make him think deeply about emotions etc 😂 or maybe he’s just easy. Is that a thing? I think for james there is a part of him that is. He goes with the flow, doesn’t make waves, is mostly happy to do whatever is going on and can be convinced by his sisters esp to do just about anything:) it’s pretty great!

As a family we got into watching some shows together which have been fun- amazing race, Lego masters, survivor, marvel movies and series.

We went camping several times at pokagon, Mal and Kevin hiked the red river gorge, and youth group took Mal and separately james (and Kevin as a chaperone) up to manitou island to backpack. They all really loved it.

[eggcats]

one thing that gets me is that the more "high tech" ghost hunting equipment I see, the more "proof" I'm given, the more im positive it's almost entirely bullshit, I just become more of a shaniac the more "evidence" I see

which is an insane take from someone who's had legitimate experiences I can't explain (which isn't to say there ISN'T an explanation, but other than it being possible mental illness and occasional hallucinations, I don't know what it could be other than possibly paranormal)

I should be the easiest motherfucker to fool how did we even get to this point

And yet? Any time anyone tells ME anything I'm immediately like have you checked your carbon monoxide detector? Is the building structurally sound?, bc if it's not that also causes hallucinations. It's just a spec of dust or the house shifting or sleep paralysis or etc. I barely believe MY OWN experiences.

Ghosts aren't scary, y'know what is? Someone secretly living in your house. Any random who decides they wanna kill you. Living people. Ghosts are just invisible freeloaders who don't pay rent (assuming they even exist). They can't just stab me in the middle of the night like a human can.

(I've actually had some scary sleep paralysis experiences too but those I'm aware of what that is. Didn't make them any less scary tho.)

(long list of experiences after the readmore. I'm honestly making this post more so I can just talk about them tbh)

I've had:

moving shadows in my house

one was a full grown man shape, about 6+ feet tall running down the hallway that I could see from my bedroom. I just went "huh. Not my problem." And went back to listening to my radio

another was like, a huge tail-like shape just fucking swinging on the wall when I walked into the desk room at like 3am, and I even checked the light switch to make sure it wasn't causing a weird shadow, it wasn't, there wasn't anything that could have caused it (also the shadow was like, pitch black) so then I was like "huh. Not dealing with that" and turned out the light, turned around, walked down the hallway to my bedroom and climbed into my bed and went to sleep

saw literal floating orbs MORE THAN ONCE

one was on Halloween when my friends and I were hanging out at a graveyard (a moving floating orange one)

the other way me walking downstairs at night and hitting/walking into this huge bright blue blinding light that disappeared once I turned a real light on

had stuff constantly changing positions in my room

(that I explicitly asked my mom if she moved, the only person to enter my room other than me, and she was like "no? why would I do that?")

- one was a fucking nesting doll that KEPT TURNING AROUND TO FACE ME DESPITE ME FACING IT TO THE WALL WHENEVER I NOTICED IT MOVED...I kept it bc my aunt bought it for me from China so it was special even if it was possessed.

Sidenote: my brain HATES anything human-like with eyes, I will become CONVINCED it's following me I cannot handle the uncanny valley of it. That's only related bc that's the only reason I regularly turned it around, I didn't want it looking at me.

another memorable one was my huge cardboard dragon model that somehow got in my loft bed from my bookshelf, a feat it could absolutely not have gotten there without help

had some presence enter my college dorm room when I had a dorm to myself, and y'know how you can kind of feel when people walk behind you? I felt that as I was napping before class, and like I said, my roommate had moved out absolutely no one had keys to my room and it startled me enough it straight up woke me up. I think I had a few other experiences, but that was the most notable one

one time my cat woke me up bc he was chirping intently at the corner of a wall at like 2am. I looked. There was nothing there. So I sat down and looked at it and went "hey it's 2am can you stop bothering my cat so I can sleep?" and then suddenly my cat calmed down. So I went back to sleep.

more than once I'd turn off the kitchen light and I'd HEAR the light switch hit and it'd turn back on. likely faulty wiring but it was freaky to turn the lights off, sit down, and have them turn back on

I couldn't take a NAP on the beanbag chair under my bed without it feeling like something was grabbing me from my body

whenever I'd force myself back into myself (one time I straight up heard a voice go "you NEED to wake up" before I even could do so), and wake up FREAKED OUT, I'd be hit with this sense of "oh it was fine, you're So Tired go back to sleep" that just didn't feel natural, like it wasn't coming from me and was overpowering my actual reaction

Like, I'd suddenly feel exhausted (almost unnaturally so?) where if I didn't force myself to get up off the floor RIGHT THEN, I'd go right back to this half-asleep state and the feeling of being forced from by body would be much quicker this time

It felt like a kind of full-body tingle on the places I'd be yanked from by body, except it wasn't my arm going to sleep or anything bc it'd be on the side I Wasn't sleeping on, and would progressively get further down the more I was yanked

(if I was actually tired and fell legitimately asleep nothing happened, so I'd only sleep on the beanbag chair under my bed when I wanted to nap for a few hours, and not just doze)

Speaking of that spot - more than once I've heard a noise from there that I couldn't identify the cause of. It's possible I had some auditory hallucinations, but considering everything else it'd freak me out to hear a voice or a knock or something that like, was intentional and I couldn't identify what caused it.

I only had the "removed from my body" IN my bed once but it was way scarier

I was snoozing/relaxing during summer break late morning in bed, reading Shonen Jump, and got hit with such exhaustion that I suddenly couldn't stay awake - like, I Was fine a second ago, and now suddenly I'm almost passed out, can barely keep my eyes open

So I was like, okay I'll go back to sleep. And then???? I hear someone washing their hands in the bathroom down the hall??? And THEN I hear them walk down the hall towards my room, and the entire time I hear the approach I'm hit with an overwhelming sense of fear/dread - like I knew somehow it wasn't an intruder, but instead something paranormal? In a way I knew my only defense was to pretend I was still asleep

And suddenly I feel something grab me and lift me directly up into the air, and then forward, like incredibly fast?

(and listen, I was like an early teenager filled with indoctrination. I thought this was the second coming. I started praying, lmao. But! It seemed to have worked bc suddenly the thing dragging me moved SO MUCH MORE QUICKLY and I'm fucking DROPPED back into my body. Like, I legitimately think I moved when I re-entered it was so violent)

And I KNOW y'all are going to say I was asleep or something, but listen. I was absolutely awake. It was a CONSCIOUS EFFORT on my end to keep my eyes closed and PRETEND I was still asleep. I straight up waited a few minutes after I got back into my body before opening my eyes I was so freaked. I did NOT want to see whatever it was and I didn't want IT to know I was conscious.

I straight up agreed to go with my aunt and grandma to go swimming like they wanted me to. And I absolutely hated doing stuff like that. It just scared me so badly I didn't want to be home alone anymore.

and is, to THIS DAY, convinced my cat was possessed by something that I had to exorcise

listen. I know it sounds insane. Trust me. My cat's eyes were pitch black (not normal night cat eyes, like pure black), he glared at me in a "is THAT the best you can do" way when I flicked him on the nose for biting me, he bit me when I petted him (he does NOT bite unless you're handing him treats), and then when I "exorcised" it bc I was pissed it DARED to mess with my cat he was so exhausted he snuggled with me near my chest for about 10 minutes, and he HATES sleeping there (after he moved back to my feet where he normally sleeps)

If I had another explanation I'd give you one.

I should be susceptible to this shit, and yet you show me the ovilus and I'm like cool that's a scam

[robbinggoodfellows]

@thespacecatgirl more fluff bc i’m already sad and i don’t want to get more sad by writing angst

Russel needed an escape, a healthy one. He was sick of being trapped in his tiny dorm, tired of being kept awake by the kids in the rooms on either side of him blasting music. Russel had figured out by now how to sneak out of his dorm. He climbed down the little fire escape outside his window and jumped to the ground, leaving the bottom ladder down so he could get back in in the morning.

Russ had no idea where he was going, walking around in the crisp winter air in a t-shirt and pajama pants because he hadn’t realized how cold it was. Maybe he would see if Charlie was awake, offer him so explanation of why he was out so late because ���I was just in the neighborhood” wasn’t the best excuse right now. He could go to Romans, though his friend had had a pretty bad day and Russ didn’t want to disturb him. He settled for walking to the park near St. Cassians and sitting on the swings listening to Phoebe Bridgers.

The good thing about Roman being so quiet was that he could easily sneak out of his house when needed. Tonight he was trapped in a particularly distressing family game night in which he felt that his family was neither having fun or actually playing any games, mostly just Lizzy talking about the recent drama at school and Edmund whining about how he was tired and didn’t understand the rules of Monopoly. Roman announced that he was going to bed, but instead he pushed open the window of his room and climbed out, walking down the street with no real purpose. Until he saw Russel. Or heard him perhaps. He definitely saw someone who looked a lot like Russ sitting on a swing set, though he’d never heard Russel sing before. But here he was, in the harsh yellow lighting of a street lamp, singing gently to ‘I Know The End’ by Phoebe Bridgers.

Roman leaned against the post of the swing set, not making a sound because he knew if Russ opened his eyes and saw Roman standing there he would stop singing. But Roman’s hand slipped and bumped the chain of one of the swings, causing it to sway and make noise. Russ opened his eyes and immediately saw Roman, reaching out his hand for Roman to take. “What are you doing here?” Russ asked, kissing Romans hand the way he knew Roman liked. “Needed to get out.” Roman signed. Russel laughed and nodded in agreement. “You have a beautiful voice.” Roman signed, smiling just a tiny bit when Russels face turned a bright red, “You should sing more often.” Roman added, though he certainly wasn’t one to comment on how often a person sings. “I was thinking of starting a band, actually.” Russ said studying Romans face for any hint of a reaction to that. “You should.” Roman signed, “I’ll put in earplugs so I don’t literally die from sensory issues and I’ll go to all your concerts.” He signed, making Russel blush even more. “I should go back to my dorm.” Russel said, standing up, “I’m freezing.” He laughed a bit and Roman stood up too, wrapping his jacket around Russels shoulders like boys did in the cheesy romcoms the two loved to watch and make fun of.

“Write me a song, ok?” Roman made Russel promise as they were walking back to the dorms together, to which Russ kissed him softly and smiled, replying “Anything for you.”

[masivechaos]

I'LL KISS ALL OF YOUR SCARS

Remus Lupin x fem! Reader

Request: yes / no

Synopsis: Y/n and Remus grew closer lately, a little too close for Remus. It’s not that he doesn’t like her, it’s even the opposite, he loves her for as long as he can remember but he can't handle the rejection if she learns that he’s a werewolf.

Warning/content: a quick mention of a Wolfstar moment oups, angst to fluff, self-doubt etc, reader is blood/house neutral, remus is a bit of an idiot but we love him, reader cries a lot (bc i cry for nothing so my y/ns going to cry too), my English

a.n.: 2.1k words- i don't know if i like this fic or not but here we are

masterlist/ marauders masterlist / navigation

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

Remus and Y/n were walking together to the Gryffindor common room “I swear I’m going to kedavra him!” Remus laughed “Calm down Y/n/n” she grunted “Oh Y/l/n, you’re really worst at potion than I thought” she said imitating Snape's voice and mocking his scornful expression. They continued to walk, the young witch still ranting about how infuriating Severus is, until they reached the Fat lady's portrait.

“Argh, and we have to work… what an awful day.” She said as Remus pronounced the password to the painting. They headed to Remus’ dorm and Y/n laid on his bed while the boy was setting up everything for the study sessions.

After two hours, Y/n’s head fell on Remus’ shoulder, and she sighed heavily. “You’re tired?” he asked as he looked down at her “Yeah”. She closed her eyes and hummed “You want to stop for tonight?” she nodded and let herself fall backward. They were sat on the boy’s bed, the curtains hiding them, working for a transfiguration test. He laid down next to her. Facing each other, they smiled.

Lately, Remus and Y/n were closer than before. They have always been friends, looking out for each other, studying before tests, and reading books together, but Remus realized quickly that the way his heart will beat faster when she was around was a sign that he loved her more than as a friend.

She was such a good person, always kind-hearted, watching for everyone. Trying to understand everyone, no matter the house or blood status. She helped Sirius with his family, finding good words when he received a letter from his mother. She even was a confidant for Regulus too. Being there for Lily when she argued with Severus. How could he not fall for her?

He didn’t want to let her think that he liked her, but even when he tried to not spend more time with her, they grew closer. It started with hands brushing when they sat next to each other for weeks before they held hands. Laying on his bed for months before falling asleep together after an exhausting day, to be found by the other boys in the morning.

Even with his friends teasing him, Remus would never tell them about his crush on her. Of course, the marauders knew but they stopped talking about it when Remus started to be grumpy when they evocated Y/n. He tried, and failed, to forget her; but he was in his seventh year and it’s been now four years that he liked her. As much as he wanted he couldn’t get over her, he kissed other people at parties when she was dating someone to forget about the pain, he even made out with Sirius one day.

But right now, they were looking at each other, giggling like idiots. Remus felt his heart racing and tucked a strand of hair behind Y/n’s ear. She smiled and as he felt a surge of confidence, placed his hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch and hummed contently.

In response, she put her hand on the junction between his shoulder and neck, her thumb brushing his skin. She watched in his brown eyes intensely and he stopped breathing for a moment. Y/n took the way he was looking at her as an invitation to lean in.

Remus couldn’t believe what was happening, Y/n was trying to kiss him, she liked him too. As much as he wanted, he couldn’t let her finish her movement. He didn’t want her to be with him, he didn’t deserve her. She would run away when she would learn that he was a werewolf, a monster; and facing this rejection would hurt too much. He’d rather stop now.

It already was difficult to admit that he deserved friends, so a girlfriend? He could never, especially her. He was already too scared to hurt the marauders at every full moon, and he knew Y/n she will try to be involved to help him and she will end up hurt.

“Y/n…” she stopped and tilted her head “I’m sorry but… I- I can’t” he said, looking down. She sat up, her hand on her mouth “Oh, it’s so embarrassing… I thought that-” she was crying now and it shattered Remus’ heart. But it was the only solution, dating him would hurt her more.

He couldn’t even talk, she was hurting because of him, he wanted to reassure her, taking her in his arms and kissing her back. She was breaking down; the sound of her sobs caught the attention of the other boys “Everything alright?” James asked.

Y/n opened the curtains, got up from Remus’ bed, and left the dorm quickly, wiping the tears on her face that couldn’t stop falling. Remus without moving, looked at his friends “She tried to kiss me…” he whispered. “You didn’t kiss her back?” Sirius asked as he sat next to his best friend.

Remus didn’t answer and started to cry “I’m an idiot” Sirius hugged him “hey- hey… it’s fine.” The werewolf shook his head “No it’s not. I wanted to kiss her back so bad, but I can’t- I can’t. I will hurt her if I’m with her. I'm a monster, she will hate me.”

James was standing in front of him “No you won’t. You’ll not hurt her, Moony. You’re a good person. And if she really loves you I don’t think she will leave you when she will know that you’re a werewolf.” Remus put his head against his friend’s chest. “And she’s kind, she will understand.” Peter added.

Remus wanted to believe them, but he just couldn’t. Of course, Y/n was kind, and understanding; but who would like to date a werewolf?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

During the following week, Remus avoided Y/n, he didn’t trust himself and was afraid that he will just kiss her when he will see her. He spent some awful days, crying at night. He knew he was an idiot but he was so scared. It hurt when he saw that she seemed tired, she was less smiling and he knew it was his fault.

Y/n tried to talk to him so many times, and this day she wouldn’t let him leave. “Remus!” he turned away as he saw her “Please! Can we talk…” He faced her and nodded slightly. “I’m sorry for what happened the other day. I understand that it can be awkward and I don’t ask you to like me back but please… can we still talk? You matter to me- I- I need you” she let out the sobs that she held for days

She spent the last week thinking about this moment over and over and over again. She didn't even cry, she was too embarrassed, she didn't realize that she ruined the most important friendship with a kiss.

This time, it hurt too much to see her sad. He wrapped his arms around her back, embracing her tightly “No you don’t have to worry. It’s me- I like you too and-” She lifted her head, she was confused “What?” she interrupted him. Remus took a deep breath “But- I can’t I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

She didn’t know how to take this information. She frowned “Why?” He couldn’t tell her, so when he didn’t answer she pulled out of his hug. “Don’t tell me this to make me feel better Remus. I don’t need this right now.”

His eyes widened “But, I do lo-” She looked angry now. “Then why did you keep me away from you?” she sighed and spoke before he could cut her “I wanted to talk to you for Sunday also.” They were supposed to go to Hogsmeade together, she would love to go but not alone. “Do you want me to come?”

He shrugged “If you want to, yeah.” He was surprised about how she seemed upset, her brows furrowed and jaw clenched, he rarely saw her like this. “That’s not what I ask. Do you want me to come with you?” He took a deep breath “Yes if you want to, it can be cool.” Her hands were now in fists “That’s still not what I ask- you know what never mind.” She left him, running, now angry tears on her face.

She was mad at him. How could he say that he liked her if he was acting like this? He said that he liked her but acted the opposite, he avoided her, and he couldn’t even tell that he wanted to hang out with her.

The other marauders saw the scene from afar, they walked to Remus when she left. “What happened Moony?” Sirius asked as he put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I don’t know… I told her that I loved her but I just can’t be with her and she’s mad at me now, I- I don’t know what to do.” He stared at the ground.

“What have you done?” James said “She asked me if I wanted her to come with me on Sunday and I said yes if she wanted to, but she told me that it was not what she was asking.” He sighed and ran a hand in his hair. “Maybe it was because you said ‘if you want to’ and she was waiting for you to just said that you wanted her to come with you, like proof that you like her.” Peter added.

The lycanthrope looked at his friends “I messed up again.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

During the next two weeks, it was Y/n who was avoiding Remus, he tried to apologize but she left every time. He still went to Hogsmeade thinking that maybe she will come, but she didn’t show up. He sat next to her during charm class but she quickly picked up her bag and changed her seat, she normally was present at every quidditch match but this time she wasn’t there and he couldn’t talk to her.

That day, he found her sitting on a windowsill a book in her hands. “Y/n…” she looked up and frowned when she saw him, ready to pack her stuff. “No, please… I wanted to apologize” she raised her eyebrows.

“I acted like a real idiot just because I was afraid. I’d rather avoid my feelings than accept them and I’ve hurt you. I was scared- and I’m still scared- because you matter so much to me, and I know it’s not an excuse, that you will leave me when you’ll know that- that I am- a-” he struggled to express himself.

“A werewolf?” she interrupted him as she got up “I already know that, Remus.” She smiled softly, he looked at her, his eyes widening. “What?” he asked confused. “When your favorite person disappears every month you start to investigate.”

“You didn’t tell me?” she shook her head “I thought that if you wanted me to know, you would tell me and I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” he felt like an idiot, he was worried about something that she already knew.

“You don’t hate me?” he asked shyly, she put her hands on his shoulders “Of course, not Remus! I’ll kiss all of your scars until you accept them and until you love them. I'll keep you safe. I’ll wait for you after every transformation. Hell! I’ll even become an animagus!”

“No!” he said loudly “I- I don’t want you to become one, I’ll be too scared to hurt you.” She chuckled lightly “It’s okay, I understand.” Her tone changed she was more serious now “But please give me a space in your life, Remus”

He hugged her warmly, kissing her hair “I will, I promise, I’m sorry- I didn’t want to hurt you. You mean so much to me and you don’t deserve me, I- I-” he broke down in Y/n’s arms, crying like a child. “Hey, hey… it’s okay, I'm not mad at you. And you deserve everything in this world, Remus. I love you the way you are, okay? You don’t need to change. Just show me that you like me.” she cupped his face and wiped his tears.

He swallowed “I love you Y/n. Believe me when I say that, I’ve always done, and I acted like an idiot.” He said with some new sobs. “I love you too, Remus.” He looked at her and smashed his lips on hers. She kissed him back, her hands still on his cheeks, his on her waist.

It's him that pulled away first “I should have let you kiss me the other day, woah.” She smiled and pecked his lips one more time before peppering his face in kisses, took his hands firmly, intertwined his fingers with hers

“Yep, you definitely should have.”