#in my defense this was 2 years after i graduated high school

[mundanemoongirl]

I turned one of my dumbest moments into an incorrect quote for my OCs:

Cassidy: Kelsee’s also dating someone new

Daron: Who’s Kelsee?

Catalina: How do you not know who Kelsee is? She was in introduction to curses with you.

Daron: Did she sit near me?

Catalina: I don’t know.

Cassidy: She’s an Herbneivorous. She has curly hair.

Daron: I have a vague image of her in my mind but I don’t know if it’s real.

*30 minutes later*

Daron: I remember who Kelsee is.

Daron: I sat next to her

[gators-aid]

decode (pt. 2) - toji f. x reader

previously titled: leave us

masterlist.

part one. | part three.

you and toji fushiguro have been in an on-again-off-again relationship all throughout high school. over the summer break after graduation, you find out you're pregnant. too bad toji has already skipped town after your last breakup.

tags: fem!reader, gun violence, harassment, physical violence, mention of domestic abuse (not between toji & reader), teen pregnancy (reader and toji are both 18-19 range), mentions of abortion, mentioned that toji sold drugs, americanized setting, non sorcerer universe, 00's setting, reader is megumi's mom, toji initially denies megumi is his, i aged up gojo, geto, and shoko so you can have some frens, exes to lovers (eventually), their relationship is toxic rn, not beta read we die like toji :(

wc: 2.7k

4 years later..

You pull Megumi’s hat over his ears to protect them from the cold and squeeze his body closer in your arms. “My mom can’t watch him today, she’s got a doctor's appointment. Shoko and Geto are working right now, too! I promise he won’t cause any trouble. He can sit in a booth while I’m working. Pleeeease, Nanami! You know he’s a good kid!” You beg your boss. He looks down at you and your son, contemplating which rules this would violate. 

It’s Gojo who comes to your defense.

“Come on Nanamiiii, I can help her keep an eye on him! You won’t have any problems, my Megumi is the sweetest little thing, aren’t you baby? Aren’t you?” He leans over to squeeze Megumi’s cheek until Megumi turns his head into your chest to escape Gojo’s teasing. 

Gojo had taken up working at the diner with you after he dropped out of college on account of, “My family has enough money for me to never have to work again. Why would I waste it in college when I can spend my youth working a minimum wage job for fun?”

You and Shoko had punched him in the face for that one. 

“Any disruptions to the customers and you’ll have to figure something else out, Y/N. This is a one time thing. Gojo, don’t let the kid be a distraction to you. You need to stop forgetting you have tables all the time.” You smile and give Gojo a victory high five. “Are you excited to spend the day with mama, Megumi?”

Megumi had turned four a couple of weeks ago. You two now lived in your own modest apartment. It was close to your mother’s house and your job. Usually your mother would keep Megumi for you during work hours, and when that wasn’t available Gojo, Geto, or Shoko would help you out. With all four contenders busy, there was no choice but for you to bring Megumi with you to work. Babysitters and daycare were out of the question on your salary of shitty tips. You could barely afford the apartment. The only way you could get furniture into it was on a loan from Gojo (which he refused to let you pay back). 

You, Nanami and Gojo walk into the back of the building through the kitchen to punch in. “Our little Megumi’s gonna be joining us today!” Gojo announces to the kitchen staff, mainly comprised of high school students and Hakari. You hear various coos as you walk Megumi through the kitchen. “Can you say ‘hi,’ baby?” You whisper to Megumi through his knitted hat. 

He pulls his face from the interior of your sweater and meekly waves to the staff, who all burst into bright smiles. There had been a few times your mother had brought Gumi to the diner to see you during hours, meaning the staff had not only heard of, but had seen Megumi around quite a bit. 

Megumi, unlike his father, was incredibly shy and quiet even for his young age. He was one of the best babies you could ever ask for. He cried of course, even had a nasty case of colic when he was little, but on average he cried far less than a normal kid. For a while you were concerned, bringing him to every doctor your insurance would allow to get second opinion after second opinion. Their conclusion? It’s just his personality. 

"It seems like he cried all his tears out during his first couple of weeks!" One doctor had joked. Yeah, so had you.

Every time you looked at Megumi, you saw Toji. Their resemblance was undeniable. Sometimes it felt as if he hadn’t inherited a single genetic trait from you. Some days, it made you more sad than others. You hadn’t seen any baby pictures of Toji, didn’t think his family even owned any, but if you had to guess, Megumi had to be the spitting image. You’d see old classmates you hadn’t talked to in years only for them to comment on how much they resembled each other. Not knowing about you and Toji's dramatic breakup.

You and Gojo punch in and take off your coats to hang them up on the rack. Yuki, one of your newer coworkers, bursts through the door with a few empty water glasses. “Agh, thank god you two are here!” She exclaims, setting them down by the sink. “I’ve got this table of guys that are driving me batshit. The kitchen guys don’t get it. I need a freakin’ break.” 

You giggle at her and take off Megumi’s hat from where you’re holding him on your hip. “I can take the next one!” You hang up Megumi’s hat next to your coat. “Just let me get him situated.” Yuki gasps and runs over to you. “Hi Megumi! I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Yuki! Oh my god, Y/N he’s so freakin’ cute!” She exclaims. 

Gojo and Yuki get to talking shit about her table while you walk out onto the floor to choose a booth for Megumi to sit. You choose the one furthest from the door and closest to the kitchen and set him down on a side where you’ll be able to see him clearly for the majority of your shift. “Okay Gumi, I’m gonna be working but I’m gonna come over and check on you a lot too, okay?” You set your bag next to him and pull out a few toys and a coloring book. “I’ll get the kitchen guys to sneak you some food, okay?” He nods and grabs a blue crayon from his half empty box. “Okay, mama.” He replies in the sweetest voice you've ever heard.

You give him a kiss on his forehead and move a piece of his hair behind his ear before moving to the other side of the booth and adjusting your waist apron. “Y/N, you got table three.” Yuki announced. You looked behind you to see Gojo and Yuki approaching Megumi’s table. “Megumiiiii! What are you coloring?” Gojo slid into the seat next to Megumi and his toys. 

“How many?” You asked Yuki. “Just two.” She responded, “The one guy’s hot, maybe you could get laid tonight.” You scoffed. “First of all, don’t say shit like that on the floor when we have customers who may hear you.” You give her a pointed look, “secondly, you’re too young to be talking about intercourse. You’re like twelve.” You smile at her and turn around to go greet your table. 

“I’m literally 18!” Yuki exclaims as you walk away.

“Exactly the point!” Gojo responds for you.

You pull out your server book as you approach your table and click your pen. “Hi, I’m Y/N, welcome to-” when you look up, you freeze. 

First, you see Jinichi, Toji’s brother. When your eyes move over to the other side of the booth, you see him in the flesh for the first time in five years. 

He’s looking down at the table, so you can’t see his face, but from his build alone you can see he’s almost doubled in muscle mass since you last saw him. His hair is longer, bangs falling over his eyes, and he sports a black muscle tee to show off how much he has bulked up over the years. He's intentionally avoiding your gaze.

All the feelings you’ve felt over these five years, anger, rage, resentment, loss, pain, sadness. They all come rushing back at once. Five years of wondering what he was up to while you stayed up with Megumi as a newborn when he had colic and wouldn’t stop crying for almost a month straight. As you operated on auto pilot and almost cried when you saw him smile again. As you cared for him through his first flu, which you had eventually caught too. Rushing him to the hospital for a slight rise in temperature as your mother convinced you over the phone that everything would be okay and you sobbed hysterically. When Megumi took his first steps, when he said his first word. You always thought of Toji. 

How would he have reacted? You may not have trusted him, but you don’t think he’d be a particularly bad father if he were to put in the effort. Every time Megumi smiles, every time he frowns, it looks like Toji has walked right back into your life. When you two talked about kids, it was never very serious. You always talked about the idyllic. How many you’d have, what their names would be, if you’d move out to the countryside so they’d have space to play. You never discussed how you wanted to raise them, how you two would afford it, if Toji would stop dealing.

“Well, well, fucking well!” Jinichi starts. “This is just fucking hilarious!” You can see Toji tense up where his elbows rest on the table. Jinichi leaned back in his seat looking back and forth between you and Toji. “High school fucking sweethearts! Look at this shit, Toji, that's your girl right there! Hey Y/N-” Before Jinichi can finish his sentence, Toji bangs his hands on the table, making the condiment bottles rattle loudly, and bringing the entire restaurant's attention towards the three of you. Toji mumbles something under his breath that you can’t pick up. You’re still physically frozen in place.

Jinichi had always been an asshole. Toji didn’t like you to go over to his house for multiple reasons relating to his family, but one of the major ones was because of his brother. Jinichi always had a smart mouth. Liked to put dumb ideas in Toji’s head, one of which was the one that eventually got him shot and bleeding out on your bedsheets.

“Ahh, come on little brother. You’re so intense nowadays. We’re here for a good ol-”

“We’re here for fucking business, Jinichi. Shut the fuck up. We don’t want nothin’.” Toji says, finally addressing you without even looking your way. You feel someone grab onto your shoulder and quickly turn to see Gojo. He gently pulls you away from the table. 

“I- I didn’t-” you begin, before Gojo can even get you five feet from the table, Jinichi is back at it. “Hey, what the hell, don’t take my waitress! I ain’t ordered nothin’ yet! Hey Y/N, you look good by the way! Usually girls get ugly after they have babies!” 

It’s so sudden and quick that if you weren’t five steps away, you wouldn’t have seen it at all. Toji leans over the table, somehow calmly and aggressively at the same time, to grab his brother by the collar of his shirt. “That’s enough. Don’t make me fucking tell you again.” He says, his tone quiet and deadly. 

All you can think about is Megumi, where the fuck is Megumi? He’s your priority right now. Your head whips toward Megumi’s table, where you see Yuki with her hand on Megumi’s shoulder as he watches you intensely. 

“Fuck. Gumi.” You whisper to yourself. 

You pull away from Gojo’s grasp to race toward your son. “Mama..” he whispers as you reach him and pull him tightly into a hug. “It’s okay honey. Don’t worry about it.” You firmly grasp the back of his neck to ground yourself. This is exactly why you had said all those things you said to Toji all those years ago. You didn’t want your child growing up in an unstable environment. You didn’t want Toji’s issues to be a cause of stress for yourself or for Megumi. It'd be slightly different if these were two random guys in the diner. Sure, you'd shield Megumi if it got intense, but the fact that one was his father made the hair on the back of your neck stand up at the slightest movement.

“You look sad mama. Did the big men hurt you?” You laugh at his innocence. “No, baby. They didn’t hurt me.” They did hurt you. In a deep emotional way that you didn’t feel like explaining to a four year old right now. “Let's go honey, little kids shouldn’t see this.” 

“I’m a little kid, right?” He asks. “Yes, you are.”

“What the hell is going on?” You hear a booming voice come from the kitchen door and see Nanami walking towards Toji’s table. “Nothings going on!” Jinichi yells. “You know how the little brothers are, always got a goddamned inferiority complex goin’ on or somethin’!” Toji still has a grasp on his shirt as Jinichi is yelling at Nanami. 

“I’m going to have to ask you two to leave.” Nanami says calmly. “I ain’t fucking leaving. I came here for some fuckin’ service from my brother’s old-” Suddenly, Jinichi’s head is being slammed onto the table, and a collective gasp is aroused from the restauraunt. 

“Come, Gumi.” You pick him up in your arms. “Yuki, can you pack his stuff up for me please?” You ask as you contemplate your next move. “Of course, of course.” You can’t head to the front or kitchen door without Gumi potentially seeing more violence. You would have to rush past in the hopes that nothing else happens while you’re moving by. The kitchen door is closer from here, less potential for Megumi to see anything. 

“Ok, Gumi. Can you close your eyes for me real quick, baby?” You ask, rubbing his back. “Ok, mama.” You move Megumi so that his face is pressed to your chest and book it toward the kitchen door. You hear more commotion as you pass by, but will yourself not to turn around and check. Gojo and Yuki follow you in from behind with your bag. When you’re in the kitchen, you’re quick to set Megumi on the ground to grab his hat and secure it on his head. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I never would’ve given you that table if I knew.” She apologizes as she hands you your bag. You laugh. “It’s not your fault Yuki. By the way, remember what I said about no intercourse? You wanna implement that policy because of fuckers like him-” “Mama!” Megumi chastises. “Sorry, bad word.” Yuki lets out a relieved sigh.

“I didn’t even see them walk in, Y/N-” Gojo starts. “Oh my gosh guys, it's not a big deal! Seriously, I’m just worried about Gumi seeing anything.” Even as you say this, your hands shake as you attempt to zip up Megumi’s coat. Gojo gives you a knowing look and grabs your own coat off the rack for you. 

“I just, um, need a little break. I can’t afford to lose out on the money tonight.” You say, grabbing your coat from him and sliding it on. “I’ll cover you-” Gojo starts, but you interrupt. “I’m not taking money from your family, Gojo!” You pick up Megumi and hold him on your hip. “I’m not saying that. I’ll split the tips from tonight with you. My apology for not seeing them before.” 

“No, Gojo.”

Nanami walks in the kitchen door. “Take the day off,” he says to you before walking back to his office. “No, Nanami I’m ok I’ll just take him to my mom’s really quick-” 

“You’re too shaken up to do anything else today. I’ll schedule you more next week to make up for it.” Nanami supplies. “Thank you.” You say, silently relieved. Was your distress seriously that obvious? You would have to tone it down in front of Gumi.

“Wooow Nanami you’re such a good manager-” 

“Can it Gojo, you’re gonna have to pick up the slack tonight.”

You’re already making your way out the back of the building when Gojo responds with a whine.

“Hey what the hells going on out there?” Hakari asks as you walk by. “Some bullshit.” You respond. “Mama!”

You weren’t even in the building for thirty minutes today, but it feels thirty degrees cooler when you walk out. The trek to the bus stop is gonna suck. 

It's a ten minute walk from the diner to the bus stop. You cling onto Megumi for warmth, making sure he's buried not only in his own coat, but in yours. When you get to the bus stop, you realize it’s gonna be another fifteen minutes before the bus comes. Megumi isn’t one to complain, but you can feel him shivering under you. “Just a little longer baby.” You soothe him, rapidly rubbing his back and arms in an attempt to warm him. 

It must be some sick joke for an old pickup truck to pull right in front of the bus stop and roll its window down. 

“Do you need a ride?” Toji asks.

You've gotta be fucking kidding.

part two is up! thanks so much for all the love on the first on! 70 notes is crazy!

pls send requests or questions to me! and also let me know if i missed anything in the tags!

thank you guys !!!

(i'll make a masterlist maybe when pt 3 goes up but im too lazy rnnnnnn)

[melanieph321]

Kenan Yildiz x Reader - Thick Part 6/8

Y/N, done messed up in this one 😭 big time

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Kenan and Reader share the same high school friend group. As graduation is near, Reader sets out to pass her drivers license test but ultimately struggles to. Thankfully Readers friends agree to help her with driving lessons and take turns doing so. It is during one of Rader's lessons that it becomes clear that Kenan likes her. A chock to Reader, who has a crush on someone else in their friend group.

Enjoy!

Being Kenan Yildiz girlfriend included three things:

1. Long drives home from school.

2. A lot of listening and talking about football.

3. Late night cuddles.

Out of all these three things, the late night cuddles you enjoyed the most. It never came down to anything sexual. It would just be you and Kenan in his bed, cuddling. You'd stay at his house whenever your parents were away. It somehow became an ongoing thing one day after Kenan dropped you off at your house, and the two of you came to realize that your parents had left the country without telling you. It wasn't the first time that they had been late to inform you about a trip abroad, but seeing how hurt you got by it made Kenan convince you to stay with him whenever your parents weren't at home. And frankly, you loved it.

Kenan actually lived alone in a seemingly big house for a nineteen year old. But then again, he had no problem paying for it with his salary as a football player.

"What are you thinking about?"

You lay in bed with Kenan's head in your lap. You were watching a movie on his computer when he tilted his head to meet your eyes.

"Us?" You smiled.

"Us?"

"Yeah, I think like us."

Kenan chuckled. "I like us too."

Although dating Kenan included a lot of benefits, like unlimited driving lessons, it also included a few perks.

"Oh my God Kenan I love you. Can I please take a picture with you?"

It all came down to the fact that Kenan was seemingly becoming more and more famous as a footballer. The more games he played for Juventus. Fans, mostly young girls, would come up to him in the streets, begging for an autograph or a picture with him. Kenan, the nice guy that he was, would always accept. Even that one time when a group of young fans caused a line in traffic by pulling their car up alongside yours. Mind you that this was during one of your driving lessons, meaning, you were more than nervous to have other cars honking their horns at you because a car full of teenagers were getting their school books sign by your boyfriend.

Another perk were the comments that you were getting online. Somehow, people found out who you were and who you were to Kenan. The comments you received online were mainly from complete strangers commenting negatively about your body and the fact that you were on the bigger size.

"Why would he date her?"

"Oh my God what does she eat in a day, she's so big."

"Ahahahha I see Yildiz like em extra large."

These were only a few of the nasty things that people were saying about you. However, over time, you learned to ignore it and them. Spending time with your friends helped.

"So what are we doing for Y/N's birthday this weekend?" Rebecca held an informal meeting during lunch at school.

"Party, of course!" Gio exclaimed. "How about a themed one, like 'A night in Hawaii.'"

"Oh Gio, that's not....."

Everyone held their laughter.

Gio shifted his head. "What?"

"That's not what Y/N wants." Said Rebecca. "If we're having a themed party, it should be something cool like "The red carpet."

This time, you and your friends actually burst out in laughter.

"No?" Rebecca cheeks blossmed. "Why don't you guys decide then, since your ideas are that much better than mine."

"How about we let Y/N decide?" Maria, the rational one, said. "It's her birthday, not ours."

"Fine. What do you want to do for your birthday Y/N?"

You failed to notice how everyone's attention was brought to you. In your defense, you were sitting in Kenan's lap, his hands around your waist and his face nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

"Ugh, you guys are unbelievable."

"Yeah, get a room you two."

You were brought back to reality, locking eyes with Luca, who sat before you. Unlike the others, he didn't seem bothered by you and Kenan being overly affectionate with each other. Instead, he seemed genuinely happy for you. Stronzo. (Asshole)

"How about we throw a party at my place?" Kenan suggested. "We could make it low-key by listing people who are invited."

Gio raised his hand. "I can get us the booze."

Rebecca sighed. "Let'em guess, your uncle knows someone?"

"My cousin actually."

The party happened on a Saturday, with Kenan's suggestion to have an entry list, keeping him busy all night. He and Gio seemed to fend for their lives at the door. Once the word got out that Kenan Yildiz was throwing a party, all of Turin seemed to have shown up.

"A great party, no?"

You had been wandering alone for most of the night. The majority of the people at the party had no idea that it was thrown in your honor. You were a bit startled when Luca approached you at one point during the night, carrying a wrapped gift in his hand.

"Luca, you shouldn't have."

He smiled. "I felt like getting you a gift was the least I can do." He smiled. It was also cute the way he had to talk over the loud music for you to hear him. "Party's aren't really my thing. Although I'm impressed how the others managed to pull this off."

"Well, none of them have gotten a chance to give me a gift yet." You said, eyeing the package in his hand.

"It's nothing major, but I think you'll like it." He handed it over for you to open it. You did so immediately to Luca's amusement.

"Childish Gambino!"

"It's his knew album. Armeni actually help me...."

It was in the heat of the moment. The sudden rush of blood to your violently beating heart that urged you to do what you did. Nevertheless, in all haste, Luca caught you as you leaped forward, pressing your lips against his. The kiss was everything you could've imagined, soft yet sweet, with Luca's hand pressing to the side of your face. Except he wasn't pressing. He was pushing. Pushing your face away for your lips to detach.

"Y/N...I"

"Oh, shit."

Regret. You could see it on his face as well as feel it inside of you. Although the kiss was everything you dreamed of, it was hard to admit that it hadn't happened with the right person.

"Y/N....I had no idea that you?...I thought you and Kenan..."

"We are." You nodded. "I'm so sorry Luca,  I don't know what came over me."

"I do."

Your heart ripped at the sound of his voice. Kenan had spotted you and Luca in the corner of his living room. He had crossed the room to get to you, a small jewelry box clenched in his hand. However, once he got to you, that jewelry box was dropped to the floor, dropped along with all the feelings Kenan had developed for you.

"Kenan it's not..."

"Save it." He hissed, his eyes darting at Luca as if he wanted to kill him on the spot.

"Hey, man, she kissed me." Luca said in defense.

"I know."

"I thought that the two of you were a solid thing now."

"So did I." Kenan turned to you with nothing but darkness and hurt in his eyes. "We're done."

"Kenan?" You squealed, tears already running down your cheeks, ruining your make up.

He shook his head, fighting the urge not to give into you. "We're done Y/N, alright! Just leave it at that."

You didn't want to. You refused to. However, it's just what Kenan did, turn his back on you, and leave. You watched him make his way through the crowd and out the door of his own home. All because of your mistake.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

[itsgrimeytime]

drunk on you (epilogue) || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader (no apocalypse!AU)

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

series taglist: @ryoujoking @zomb-1-egutzz

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Summary: You'd known Rick forever, as far back as freshman year. He was a guy you (if you were honest) had a crush on; there was just something in his stance and the low drawl of his voice. You'd say that feeling only got worse from there. Before you could blink, he was married and had a kid; and suddenly, despite your best efforts, you felt very out of place. You faded out of his life, and he yours. So when Rick shows up at your door (drunk out of his mind) about 5 years after the last time you spoke to him, you have a lot of questions.

TWs: vague allusion to sex.

[[A/N: I cannot stop watching this gif fr. So pretty. So sad to be ending it but it is perfectly wrapped up. Thank you to all who loved it. Enjoy :))]]

You woke up that morning warm, comforter neatly wrapped around you -all white and plush. The mattress was perfectly holding you in place just like it always did. But somehow, you still felt cold.

You reached your hand out, patting the mattress on his side of the bed, empty. You furrowed your eyebrows, peeking your eyes open; they flickered across the bedsheets. The comforter was pulled back, and he was decidedly not there.

"Rick?" You mumbled out, pulling yourself to the end of the bed, grabbing your ring, and slipping it onto your finger.

You stood then, adjusting your pajamas (an old pair of his), and padded your way through your bedroom. Hardwood cool under your feet, you slowly made your way out into the hallway.

Fingers drifting along the walls, you blearily blinked the sleepy fuzz out of your eyes. Attention catching elsewhere, you heard two things: the sizzling of breakfast, and the low murmur of voices like they didn't want to wake you.

"Rick?" You asked, again -although, at this point, you definitely knew where he was.

Lining the walls, your eyes caught onto a slew of photos. There was some of everybody, your eyes dipped particularly to Carl's graduation. Cap and gown, Rick on one side and you on the other, all three of you were smiling. Something in your chest warmed.

You turned the corner into the dining room, eyes smoothing across the empty table before you guided yourself into the kitchen -following the smell and the voices. The white cabinets shined in the morning light, and as you expected, Rick, still in his pajamas stood at the stove. And just beside him-

"Carl, baby, oh my god-" you rushed forward, gathering up the tall, now, man into a hug, "-how are you? How's school?"

"Good, good. Everything's good," Carl laughed, eagerly accepting your hug -he was so tall now. Your eyes darted along his face, taking him in. All the changes, you still remember him when he was just a little baby, all wrapped up in your arms.

"I like the hair too, by the way," you smiled, gently fixing it on his head -instinctively.

He was growing it out, dressed as casually as could be in some of Rick's old stuff. You would recognize it anywhere, you just didn't know if it was from his high school or young adult days. Wordlessly, you straightened the flannel over his shirt.

"Alright, Y/N," he laughed again, playfully, "-I think I'm all fixed up."

"Sorry," you apologized, "-It's a force of habit. You know your Dad."

Rick spun to you then -long hair mussed, but curled at the ends with a salt and pepper stubble climbing up his cheeks. Your very own Rick.

"'Ey," he spoke, defensively, "-I'm right 'ere."

To prove your point, you ran a hair through his hair -fixing the mess from where he must've woken up, and pulled slightly at his shirt -straightening the collar. It was almost out of instinct, and he seemed to expect it -standing perfectly still.

Rick grinned at you the same way he always did, you still felt your heart skip a beat even now. You doubted it would ever go away. Before you could turn back to Carl, instead Rick got your attention.

Gently placing the spatula down, he turned to you ever-so-slightly and opened up his arms.

You laughed, a little -the routine.

And with unhesitating steps, patted on over to him -wrapping your arms around his chest and placing your head on his shoulder. Still woodsy, still Rick. You could feel him chuckle, reverberating through his chest -bright and twinkly.

With a breath, he pressed a kiss on top of your head, "Mornin', baby."

"You guys are still gross, good to know."

"'S love," Rick corrected, slipping his hands over your shoulders, "-if 'at's gross ya got a bleak future, Carl."

"Hey," you swatted at his chest, almost in warning -Carl had a very bright future.

Rick laughed, pressing another kiss to the top of your head, "He knows I don't mean it, don't ya?"

"Yeah, yeah," Carl laughed, dismissively waving his hand, before retorting, "-I can't be 'ere for long, Dad. Breakfast almost done?"

You let go of Rick, mindlessly pressing a kiss to his cheek. He grinned, even though it happened everyday.

"Why are you here?"

Carl smiled, bringing you into another hug, "For a special occasion, Y/N, plus, Dad asked me to be here."

"Think it as a gift," he mumbled out, before siphoning off eggs -scrambled.

You almost said for what exactly, but then it suddenly struck you.

"Shit, really?" You asked, scurrying up to the calendar hung up on the wall. And there it was, circled with little doodled hearts.

"Happy 10 years, baby," Rick smiled big and bright, gathering you up in his arms -gently swaying in place.

You started laughing with movement, "That long? Jesus. How long have we had the house?"

"'Bout year 3," Rick answered, quickly pressing his lips to yours -just a surface level kiss.

You remembered the day he'd showed you.

He wouldn't let you come on the land, ever, wouldn't let you help, nothing.

"I'm buildin' it for ya, you'll see it at the end."

And then, one day, years ago, he'd dragged you out of the apartment with a blindfold, put you in the car and drove you all the way to the house. You remember the grass scratching your legs and the creak of the trees. And then, just seeing it.

All white walls, and big porch, and windows, and just... everything.

"Shit," you repeated -coming back to the moment.

"What?" He teased, "-Had enough of me, 'ave ya?"

"No, just-" you went a little quiet, just looking at him, "-I can still remember you showing up at my door, wasted, after five years."

"You're always gonna be holdin' on to the drunk thin', ain't ya?"

"Yes," you patted his cheek, "-and I will forever."

Rick grinned at that -something twinkling in his eyes. Even now, he couldn't wait for forever with you. You couldn't either.

"Breakfast?" Carl repeated -acting a little annoyed, but you could tell he wasn't. Not really.

"Yeah, yeah," Rick rolled his eyes, letting you go and grabbing the plates -guiding all of you into the dining room.

Carl left soon after that, promising to come back after the semester just for a visit. He'd had an apartment in the city, just like yours. Ready to go and pursue his dreams, just like you did. The two of you followed him to the car, wishing him well, and your own very cautious, be safe. He rolled his eyes but still promised you.

You and Rick stood outside, watching the car disappear down the driveway. He held you tight to his side, cool wind brushing over your skin but not exactly cold. You didn't mind being by his side though, never would.

With a sigh, you turned back to the house -his arm still wrapped around you. You felt the thrum of his body heat against your side -he always was like a furnace.

Your eyes settled along it, taking it in.

"I still can't believe you built me a house."

Rick laughed, looking at you -blue eyes twinkly, "You were the one who suggested it!"

"Was I?" You paused, trying to think back.

"Oh yeah," he turned you toward him -gently holding your shoulders, "-I was talkin' about me imaginin' a future wit' ya, a big white house-"

You smiled at him.

"-and you said we could build one."

You remembered then, his big smooth smile and those eyes. He'd just looked at you like you were everything he wanted, and he'd give you anything to keep you. That was a big day.

"Okay, yes," you finally responded,"-but I was joking, Grimes."

"Were ya?" He hummed, that sort of mischievous grin he'd always given you, "-'Couldn't tell."

"Liar," you shot back.

"Okay, fine," he conceded, "-You said it an' I realized how much I wanted to. For you. For us, I guess."

You pursed your lips, before patting him on the cheek, gently, "Sap."

"Just the way ya like it," he quipped, grin bright.

"You know," you started, as he pulled you into his side again -the two of you making your way inside again, "-sometimes I think about what we would've been like together in high school."

"Do ya?"

"Yeah," you replied -thoughtfully, "-because if you're sappy now. Imagine you in puppy love."

"Hmm," he hummed, "-ya probably wouldn't 'ave doodled in all those notebooks if we 'ad, huh?"

"First of all, I would've doodled twice as much, and secondly-" he laughed at you, "-what is with you and those notebooks?"

"'S nice," he responded, softly, "-you loved me then, and I didn't even kno'. I keep one of 'em in my wallet, actually, reminds me how lucky I am to be 'ere. Because I was such a dumbass back then."

You laughed a little, before pausing -realizing, "Wait. You keep one in your wallet?"

"Yea', I never told ya?"

"There's no way you're telling the truth right now," you laughed -a bit astonished, "-a doodle? Really? From high school-"

He stopped walking just under the porch, moving his arm to pull out his wallet (he always brought it everywhere, even in his pajamas), and flipped it open.

With a breath, he dug behind his license in the clear little pocket, "'Keep it behind my license, so it don't get tore up. Or smeared."

"Rick."

"Look," he pulled a tiny little piece of lined paper out -extending it to you, "-I ain't a liar."

"Rick," you nearly cooed.

You flipped it in between your fingers, you even knew the pen you'd drawn it in. It was one of your favorites, and it didn't smear, so you don't know why he was worried about that. A part of you couldn't believe it. But right there, over the blue lines was a big heart, and on the inside two words.

Y/N Grimes

"You really keep this in your wallet?" You asked in awe, gently pinching the paper between your fingers.

"I just pulled it out infront of ya, baby-"

"Well, yeah, but-" you laughed in defense, "-you could be looking for extra brownie points on our anniversary."

Rick paused, holding your eyes, "Ya think I'd do 'at?"

"For the right motivator," you defended, "-yes."

He quirked a brow, a smirk smoothing across his lips -you knew the look, "What kinda motivator, darlin'?"

"Stop you," you swatted his shoulder, "-you were just being sweet."

He laughed at you a moment, before countering, "'Could still be sweet."

"Rick," you warned.

"Just sayin'."

"Rick."

"Okay, okay," he hummed -taking his hands to cup your face, "-gimme a break, I'm bein' sweet."

"Yes, you are," you smiled, handing it back to him, "-Now, I have to know, do you keep them stashed anywhere else?"

"Whaddya mean, baby?"

"Don't play dumb," you accused, his eyes slinking over you in a certain kind of way.

"Ya know what," he tapped his chin, thoughtfully, playfully really, "-I think... I think I might 'ave some stashed in the bedroom."

"Rick," you laughed, "-are you really doing this right now?"

"Doin' what?" He questioned, innocently.

"Rick."

"I'm just answerin' your question," he smiled, bringing your face closer to his, "-I do think I 'ave some stashed in the bedroom."

"Let me guess," you quipped, "-on the bed?"

He grinned at you, teasingly, and dropped his hands down to your waist, "How'd ya know?"

"Grimes," you sighed out, fingers coming up to twirl into his hair, "-you are just so very predictable."

"Am I?"

"Very much so," you hummed.

"Can ya predict what's gonna happen next," he was a breath away from your face, "-Grimes?"

"I can think of a few things."

And then, with a laugh and a few spare kisses, he picked you up like he always did and brought you inside the house. Laughter bubbling out your chest and kissing the man you loved, you realized it then.

Five years was just a speck in your life. Those five years were nothing, not compared to this. To Rick, to your life now. And a part of you wished you'd gotten it back, gotten it all sooner.

Well, you smiled big and wide -arms wrapped around his neck, this is kinda perfect now, isn't it?

Rick smiled at you then, kicking the door shut without even looking away. Only looking at you, a little like you were everything. His everything. And for a second, you thought maybe you were.

Yeah, you decided, you wouldn't want it any other way.

[slutshamethesquirrels]

Behind The Cover - Chapter 2

Previous

Your POV

“So, just to clarify, you found some shitty, shady, crusty, dusty ass little hole in the wall bookstore?” Maki’s leaning across the small circular table, peering at you through half-rimmed glasses like you’d lost your damn mind.

You nod.

“It has a 3 star rating and looks abandoned? Has the world’s weirdest business hours.”

“Yes.”

A deep breath, followed by narrowed chocolate eyes “And you went?! Then when it looked abandoned and sketchy you just continued to walk right on in-”

“It wasn’t sketchy on the inside!” You defend, crossing your arms across your chest and pouting pointedly. Maki ignores you.

“-only to be greeted by some fucking anti-social loser who was a dick to you, and all you can talk about is how bad you wanted to fuck him?!”.

Your eyes meet Nobara’s on the other side of the table, and you both have to quickly avert your gazes, trying to stifle the giggles swelling in your throats. The three of you had been friends since your senior year of highschool, following a forced group assignment. You all belonged to different crowds back then. Maki graduated top of her class, and was still currently working her way through a doctorate program with a focus in business. If there was an award to be won, best believe she would be sure to achieve it if it wasn’t already tucked under her belt. Nobara had been your classic band kid, with her bob cut and obnoxious need for male validation. She always did well, but never quite out performed the others in her grades or extracurriculars. After high school, she went on to be a human resource officer for a major tech company. And you? You hadn’t really been popular throughout most of high school. You had an honorary seat at the “loser” lunch table amongst the socially inept and non-conventionally attractive. Post-graduation, you’d had a glow up that would have the same boys that tormented you flooding your instagram directs. The more followers you gained, the more opportunities started to pop up in the world of content creation, and you found an odd niche with your generally barbie-esque aesthetic and insatiable fascination with herpetology and entomology.

These days, Nobara serves as the mediator of the group, a solid middle ground between Maki’s objectively blunt demeanor and your easy going (at times, careless-) nature, but she wasn’t being much help in the present moment.

“In my defense, he was insanely hot!” your voice is broken up by chuckles, causing Maki to roll her eyes so hard you thought they may simply roll right out of her head and onto the table before you.

“You know what, this is your problem, you have a thing for ‘bad boys’. Problem with that is, real life bad boys aren’t fun and sexy! They’re misogynistic bitches-”

“I do not! Nobie, help me out here-” you send her a pleading look, but she’s all apologetic honey brown gaze and pursed lips.

“I’m kinda with Maki on this one, dude. Didn’t your last boyfriend get mad at you for making him wear a condom?”

You blink, and try not to smile. Yes .

“And the one before that wanted you to delete your socials and be fully dependent on him financially-” Maki adds.

“Yeah, and that one guy who tried to mansplain how to take care of your animals all the time, even though that's literally half of your career-” Nobara is quick to follow up.

They continue to list off failed situationships, relationships, and flings, with you trying hard to defend yourself against the on-slaught, but not getting a word in edgewise. From the outside, it would’ve been quite a sight to see. The three of you bantered with ease, but on looks alone one would never guess you all ran together. You, with your pink floral backless romper only covering the most important parts of your body, your hair curled and blown out to supermodel levels of perfection, and your white heels tapping restlessly against the tile of the cafe. Nobara, and her business casual slacks and cream colored button up, with minimal makeup and a sleekness to her hair that meant business. Maki and her edgy street wear that she only donned on her days off of school, the unnatural green of her hair that she swore she’d keep until she had to enter the workforce. It was the small bit of delinquency she allowed herself to enjoy.

“Okay okay okay!” You hold your hands out in front of you, commanding their silence “Just hear me out-!”.

A chorus of groans from both of them as Maki throws her head back in disappointment and Nobara brings her hand in front of her face, as if hiding from your next words.

A few moments of silence before you state, doing your best not to give away your cheekiness about the entire situation:

“I could fix him.”

The both of them explode with fervent disagreement as you laugh. Of course, all of you knew on some level that you were kidding, but they weren't even taking the risk of being perceived as supporting your shenanigans.

“Why don't you just go out with that Yu guy from the bar the other night? He seemed so sweet!”

You gag at Nobara’s suggestion. He had seemed sweet, but that wasn't exactly what you were attracted to. He had approached, his number and name already written down on a stray napkin, and barely made eye contact with you as he’d sputtered out something about you being pretty and going out sometime before shakily passing it to you and practically running away.

“He’s not my type.” You summarize.

“Okay, fine then. What is your type?” Maki asks, a sarcastic edge to her tone.

“Uhm,” you feign pondering for a moment, looking off to the side like you don't already know exactly what you're about to say “Probably… tall, dark features, kinda beefy… long dark hair, flawless skin, acts kinda like he hates the world but is totally fixable-”.

“Are you talking about the bookstore guy again?!”

Eventually, you wrap up your weekly brunch with the girls and make your way home on nothing more than a prayer and a general lack of concern for the countless warning lights that flicker on your dashboard. You jokingly told all your friends they were for decoration every time they rode anywhere with you, and that you could fix that weird grinding noise with a simple upward turn of the radio dial. See no evil, hear no evil, or whatever they say.

Suguru's POV

Certainly, most certainly, Suguru had lost his mind, and he feared he may simply never find it again. What started as something so simple had turned into an obsession the likes of which he’d never felt before.

A simple call to the DMV claiming to be a tow company had granted him access to your name and contact information upon providing your license plate information, which he’d intended to use to send you a faulty link hooked to an IP logger to grant himself access to your location. It was simple, effective. If you didn't fall for it, he’d pursue other options, but he was relatively sure you wouldn't be even a single step ahead of him. You didn't seem like the type to keep a watchful eye over your shoulder, if anything you seemed to relish in attention, giving Suguru a sure fire way to stay hidden amongst the crowd of others pining for your recognition.

The only thing about this type of phishing was that he had to know a little bit about you in order to conjure something that would lure your attention; a text or E-Mail that would be believable enough for you to click. What type of work did you do? What shopping centers did you frequent? Did you typically order food to go? All of these were quite possibly the key to pinpointing you.

He’d started with the phone number provided to him by one of the very government agencies entrusted with the safety of it’s citizens. Most didn't have the forethought to disable the “find by phone number” feature available on most social media platforms. However, when he’d found an instagram account, he’d immediately realized this was going to be harder than he thought. He was right though, you loved attention.

Two hundred and forty thousand fucking followers. Two hundred and forty thousand eyes on you at maximum, and at minimum, probably a third to a half of that number would notice. A fifth or so of that smaller number would probably genuinely care enough to cause a commotion, if nothing other than for the clout. If his quick math was correct, he was staring down the maw of somewhere between twenty and thirty thousand watchful eyes.

A quick glance from your follower count to the time in the top left corner of his screen let him know that he was still in bed far past ten; damn near unheard of for someone with such a strict routine. And yet, he couldn't stop. How many hours had he laid here like this? Shirtless, midnight tendrils tangled and unkempt, weary body begging for a shut down but all he could do was scroll and learn and scroll and learn-

With each passing post, he could swear he could still smell you in the storefront, could conjure up the sound of your breathing on a whim. One fifteen minute walk through his path and you’d managed to turn everything on its head. He had to have you, to satisfy the craving before he lost himself entirely. Shit, he’d almost fought Satoru over the right to you. That night when you’d stopped by the store, he thought that maybe this instinctual pull towards your scent was something that he only would experience, but when Satoru had returned from his hunt he’d immediately been able to smell you there still. Hours after you’d driven away, even with complete satiation.

To complicate things further, the only thing pushing him to take your life was just that. You were unlike anyone he’d murdered in almost the past century. You had no criminal record, no violent past, nothing; it drove him mad. Your biggest crime was wearing revealing clothing and dropping one too many swear words per capita. You had a stark interest in reptiles and insects, nearly all your pictures being of yourself posed with some exotic species of reptile or insect, captioned with facts about said animal, littered with emojis. One of these captions burns its way into Suguru’s brain:

this big lady here is daisy!! she's a burmese python! fun fact: snakes don't have the intellectual capacity to feel emotions like love, or really any emotion at all!! funny how such a creature can make me feel so much love for her!

Stupid, stupid girl. That thing could easily swallow you whole, you have to know that-

It's time stamped from two months ago under a post of you in a lavender bodycon mini dress and a pair of white gogo boots. You're striking a pose, legs crossed as an ungodly large snake grips around your hips and one of your thighs. It winds around your body all the way up to your face, where it rests against your cheek. You look like you're maybe laughing, flashing a toothy grin through painted lips and squinting liner caked eyes, lacking any fear of the creature that could easily consume you. You’ve tagged a zoo that upon further investigation seems to be three or so hours away, and left an additional comment with a link for donations. The connected organization seems to be some sort of rescue, its primary purpose being intake of reptiles and amphibians that ignorant assholes purchased not realizing they’d never be able to properly care for such a creature.

All of your posts are like that. You, dazzling the camera while showing off one of god’s many abominations. The other abominations seemed to trickle into your comment section. Men talking about the vile things they’d like to do to you, hinting at their formicophilia, saying the most desperate of embarrassing cringe in an effort to get your attention. Something burns in Suguru when he stumbles across them, something ancient and angry, but he can't quite place it. He had the urge to shift his hunt to those individual commenters, but the effort it would take wasn't worth the trouble just to clear out a few internet freaks. Plus, the overwhelming majority of your following seemed to actually be women who identified with the “alternative” label. Besides all that, the thoughts that operate the forefront of his mind are more important, more taxing.

Why didn't you shy away from things that could hurt you? Things that could kill you?

And more importantly, why did he care if his very goal was to do just that?

“Getou!!!”

He recognizes Itadori’s voice immediately. A frenzied knock on his bedroom door has him quickly tucking away his phone, finally rolling out of bed for the first time that night to open it, squinting against the artificial lighting of the rest of the home as he did so.

“Im so sorry, I need help. Now!”

As his eyes adjusted to the light, he sized up the smaller man and immediately decided that something was wrong. His eyes were wide, a reddish golden halo around dilated pupils. He looked like he’d stuck a fork in an outlet; his entire being was tense and ragged. When Suguru doesn't immediately jump to action, he continues:

“There's this person up there and she smells- fuck she smells like, like- I’m gonna kill her. If I have to go back up there I-I’m -”

Next

[flyingwargle]

no matter how many years have passed, suga will never tire of entering the sendai city gymnasium.

he still remembers the first time he stood beneath the lights, on the court with his teammates, faced against their opponents. he was overcome with nerves in that match, which affected his tosses and made them lose the first set. although they managed to turn it around and win, that match was a wake-up call that yes, he is the team’s setter, he is the conductor of their offense, and whether they win or lose depends on how effectively he utilizes his hitters.

it was a burden that he was happy to carry, as he did not stand alone on the court. even when he was relegated to the sidelines in his third year, he still held that burden as vice-captain, as a mentor for his underclassmen, as a role model for his teammates to follow.

even though he left the court for good after graduation, he still carries that responsibility, honored to do so for the rest of his life, because he knows that his underclassmen are destined for greatness in a way that he never will be.

the first day of the inter-high preliminaries falls on his birthday. last year, it coincided with the third day, where he watched his underclassmen lose to datekou after a long and hard match. his tears were not out of pity but pride, proud of how tanaka filled asahi’s role as the ace, how ennoshita became the new defense specialist after daichi, how kinoshita improved significantly as a pinch server. the dinner afterwards was not mired with frustration but determination, as the team promised him to bring home victory at the spring tournament as a belated birthday present.

this year, he enters the stands with daichi and tanaka. asahi has a major project due after the weekend, ennoshita is knees-deep in research for his kinesiology paper, and neither kinoshita nor narita could get away, either. and last suga heard of noya, he’d taken off to his first adventure in mexico.

tanaka greets his underclassmen that comprise of karasuno’s cheering squad. he introduces them to daichi and suga, their juniors bowing in respect. suga gives a wave and turns to the glance down at the court, where the referees are talking on the sidelines, few members of the press snapping photos on the side. team banners are tied along the railings, their teams huddled on the stands as they wait for their match to begin.

“who’s the new captain?” daichi asks after tanaka joins them. “yamaguchi, right?”

“i wouldn’t be surprised if he made tsukishima vice-captain,” suga adds.

“nah, it’s actually kageyama,” tanaka says. “yamaguchi texts me sometimes for advice, and whenever i about kageyama, he says that he helps with strategies and formations.”

“that’s more than my vice-captain did,” daichi drawls, shooting a look at suga. “i remember entrusting the team to a certain second-year more than my vice.”

suga huffs with a roll of his eyes. “it’s my birthday, you know. let’s save the slander for another day.” he is about to say more when the gym doors open and the first competing teams step onto the court upon a shower of applause. they’re quick to join in, breaking off to point when karasuno enters. “there they are!”

“tsukishima looks even taller,” daichi remarks. “yamaguchi looks more muscular, too.”

“hinata’s still the shortest!” suga laughs. “even though he grew so much!”

tanaka cackles. “he still looks like a first-year compared to everyone else.” were it not for his aura of a veteran emanating around him, he could still be easily mistaken as a rookie at his first official high school match.

suga watches them take their team jackets off and step onto the court to warm up, his eyes roaming their backs. yamaguchi wears the #1 jersey proudly, tall and strong. tsukishima took #3, off to the side to talk with an underclassman. hinata wears #5, standing at the end line as he waits for his turn. when the net is clear, he makes his approach, pulls his arms behind him, and jumps.

kageyama, clad in the #2 jersey, tosses the ball with lightning speed, and hinata spikes it in the blink of an eye. behind him, the cheering squad shouts, “nice kill!” and “nice toss!” daichi whistles. “their quick is as fast as ever, right, suga?”

he doesn’t reply, transfixed on kageyama. as a third-year, he exudes a much more refined aura, someone more confident in himself, his tosses, his teammates. everything about him promises that he’ll get the ball to where it needs to go, that he’ll bring his team to victory. it’s confidence that suga wishes he had in the past, in himself and his skills.

it’s not just that. kageyama leaves the net as the next team warms up, and although hinata flanks him, their juniors talk to them, anxious and nervous. he watches him comfort the one wearing the #9 jersey, and although he can’t hear what he says, it has to be reassuring. or, maybe not, because hinata’s laugh reaches him from the stands, along with, “kageyama, you never know what to say!”

soon, the teams line up to greet each other. kageyama stands beside yamaguchi, followed by tsukishima, their libero, and then hinata. suga still remembers when they first joined the team, their round faces and eyes bright with possibility, their animosity and rivalry, their teamwork and synergy. to think that he taught hinata how to receive, watching him slide across the court flawlessly after a pass. to think that he taught kageyama about teamwork, watching him high-five his hitter after he scores. to think that all his underclassmen were weak and inexperienced, to standing tall in their team jerseys.

he might not get a car for his birthday, or world peace, or anything extravagant, but to see how far his juniors have come is the best present he could ever ask for.

[darkmaga-retard]

Saturday August 24, 2024

Karen Bracken

As I am sure you all know by now….RFK Jr. has given his support to Donald Trump. He offered his help to Harris and she refused to even talk with him. Trump and Kennedy agree on ending all wars and to help end the chronic diseases killing our children and adults. He could only be an asset to helping heal our country. I watched his entire press conference and he is a brave man and speaks truth. He also knows where the bodies are hidden. He is hoping that the Trump administration will love our children more than we hate each other. Here is a link to his press conference. VIDEO

TRUTH IN HUMOR - Don’t miss this short satire. VIDEO

Did the US Government Pay $370,000 Death Benefit for a Covid Vaccine? ARTICLE

How Kamala Harris's friendship with Beau Biden united her with Joe - hmmmm perhaps she had more than Beau’s back??? She stated in this article that she was bussed to school everyday. “There was a little girl in California who was part of the second class to integrate her public schools, and she was bussed to school every day. And that little girl was me,” Harris said. Kamala left the US when she was 7 years old and lived in Canada until she graduated from High School. Just another lie about her past. She is NOT A NBC and I will say this every time I share anything about her until Americans start demanding Harris/Walz be removed from the ticket. Another lie…….she surely didn’t take her “friendship” into account when she viciously attacked Joe Biden during the 2020 election period - Biden picked her because he was ordered to do so by her mentor and Biden’s puppet master Barack Obama - ARTICLE

Door To Freedom (Dr. Meryl Nass) and Children’s Health Defense host a 2-day live stream conference on: Attack on Food and Farmers and How to Fight Back - INFORMATION

Sun Drives Earth's Climate, Not CO2: 30-Page Study in Journal 'Geomatics' Refutes Mainstream Climate Change Narrative - When they came up with UN Agenda 21 (global communism) they knew no one would ever go along with this plan of global governance under communism. SO they invented a global boogie man. They has to come up with something that affects the entire world. First it was global warming and when they exposed that as the lie it was they changed it to climate change. Climate change IS just the new name for UN Agenda 21. So is Sustainable Development, Smart Cities, 2030 Agenda, Sustainable Development Goals, Great Reset all one in the same. A very good friend of mine was a NASA research scientist. He was invited to present to Congress every year (until Obama was elected...he was uninvited but sent his research to every member of Congress each year). He warned of global cooling and its impact on food. He said the sun goes into hibernation approx. every 235 years and it was moving into a period of hibernation. CO2 is the foundation for life. The more CO2 the better. Food grows with CO2 so it is clear to me why they targeted man made CO2 as their target. My friend, John L. Casey wrote a book called COLD SUN........he like many REAL scientists know the sun controls the climate except for the climate our government creates in order to scare people into compliance. I recommend getting John's book. He had a stroke some years back and no longer is doing research. He also used to track earthquake activity too. ARTICLE

CDC Stands by Water Fluoridation After Report Linking Fluoride to Lower IQs in Kids Finally Published - Good old CDC strikes again. Gee remember when tooth decay was killing people? Dead people all over the place. No? Well neither do I because no one has ever died from tooth decay BUT lots of animals and trees were dying when chemical companies were spewing their toxic waste into the air so they came up with a brilliant idea…..we will put it in the water supply and convince people it was harmless and would stop tooth decay. Now if that were true there would be a lot less dentist today, right?? And what about countries outside of the US. Are there people dying in the streets of tooth decay? No. And they do not have any more incidence of tooth decay than we do here in the US. This deal was a deal to help out companies dispose of their toxic waste at our expense. Did you notice they now sell fluoride free bottles of water for baby formula?? Why? If it is so safe why are they selling fluoride free baby formula water? It is not safe. They lie to us all the time and we believe putting a toxin in our water is safe? There are about 13 countries just in Europe that do not put fluoride in their water and they do not have any higher incidence of cavities than we do here in the US. Good daily dental care is a much wiser prevention for cavities. Putting fluoride in our water was just another lie in order to save chemical plants a lot of money disposing of the toxic waste. ARTICLE

[girlactionfigure]

🔅Sun morning - ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Realtime

🔻ALERTS.. (none since our last report last night)

🟠 6 months of war for survival, to live and not die, to flourish and not worry about rape, torture, or slaughter of our babies.  May G-d give us success and life!

❗️(repeat) HEZBOLLAH’S NASRALLAH SAYS.. Great optimism that the end of the war is at hand due to the international PRESSURE and the PROTESTS within Israel.

▪️TERROR ATTACK - Ma’ale Shomron Intersection - Samaria.. Report of 2 wounded from a shooting at a bus and vehicles on Route 55 between Ezon and Nebi Elias, near the Eliyahu crossing.  One shooter - active event, no more info.  A 19-year-old woman is seriously hurt and a man in his 50s is in moderate condition.

▪️IDF DEEP ATTACK ON HEZBOLLAH.. in the Bekaa valley and/or Baalbek, the major weapons warehouse area for Hezbollah of weapons coming from Iran via Syria.  At least 3 attacks.

▪️4 HERO SOLDIERS HAVE FALLEN.. in Gaza:

Amitai Even Shoshan, 20, of Moshav Azriel. He is the 19th graduate of Eli High School who has fallen in the war.  May his family and his school be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and may G-d avenge his blood!

Ido Baruch, 21, of Tel Mond. May his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and may G-d avenge his blood!

Reef Harush, 20, of Kibbutz Ramet. May his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and may G-d avenge his blood!

Ilai Air, 20, of Kidar. May his family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and may G-d avenge his blood!

- - Reef sends us this message written before he fell: “For that elderly woman who says thank you and cries, I am ready to sacrifice my life, and for my family, that they may sit quietly and peacefully, and that they know that there is a huge army behind them that will watch over them as long as we are on our feet." 

The four were killed after gunmen who came out of a tunnel in a destroyed building opened fire at troops carrying out a patrol along the IDF’s logistics route in Khan Younis, according to an initial military probe. The operatives apparently managed to flee back into the tunnel.

 May their memories be a blessing.

▪️IRAQ SHIA MILITIA FIRES AT EILAT.. The Islamic resistance in Iraq claims that they attacked a target using drones in Eilat. The drone did not arrive, it is clear that they are looking for/checking Israel's and Jordan’s air defense systems.

▪️ISRAEL POLITICS - THE HISTADRUT (Israeli Labor Union).. “The chairman of the Histadrut is determined to lead a change to strengthen society in Israel, but will not serve as a strike contractor for any side of the political map.”

[bunmellos]

Hi!! Huge fan of your artwork and I’ve been following you for a while now!

I was wondering if you had any advice for people wanting to become music majors/professional musicians? I’m currently a senior in high school and I want to play saxophone professionally, but the thought of entering the “music world” (which many people have said is unstable and hard to make money in) scares me a little. If there’s any advice you can give on college and life as a musician I’d love to hear it!

aah thank you!! music is definitely a difficult field to get started in. the culture around our instruments and repertoire are pretty different but here’s a couple tips that are universal:

1. whether they’re required or not, try to fit some pedagogy(teaching) classes into your curriculum. teaching is one of the best ways to ensure you have a steady income, which is really hard to come by as a freelance musician and/or someone fresh out of college. teaching privately allows you to set your own schedule, rates, and policies, and personally i think it’s very rewarding to watch your students grow and get to know all sorts of people :> middle schoolers are really fun to interact with LOL

2. try to build relationships with your peers, instructors, and community members. this one is really important in my opinion! iirc pretty much all the gigs ive booked came about because i was recommended/invited by a friend or mentor, and my good relationship with local orchestra teachers led them to recommend me to their students for private lessons. how you play is definitely important, but networking is one of the most vital skills for a musician to have

3. in a similar vein, try to jump on opportunities even if they’re daunting! usually they aren’t as bad as you think they’ll be (i get crazy anxious when i go into a new situation or even when preparing for first rehearsals of a concert cycle, so i’m still working on this one lol)

4. don’t limit yourself to /just/ performance. i’ve known lots of fantastic musicians who manage different aspects of a professional ensemble, do instrument maintenance, etc., while still playing on the side. one of the most rewarding jobs i’ve ever had was when i worked in a music store as a string specialist. i learned what makes a quality instrument, differences in materials, basic string repair, even a little bit about winds and brass (as a violinist i still can’t believe brass players bathe their instruments O_O)

as for school itself, i think the most important thing is that you get along with your private teacher, since they’ll be your closest collaborator. take lots of auditions and take advantage of the built in rehearsal+practice time! i rushed through school as fast as possible because despite its wonderful music program i Hated my university and where it was located and i’m still kicking myself for graduating asap instead of taking my time.

currently i definitely take a defensive approach to being a musician. as you’ve probably noticed, most of my advice leans on leaving yourself other options in case playing professionally full-time doesn’t work out. obviously i don’t know the full extent of your situation but most people don’t get the performance job they hope for straight out of school- music programs are notoriously bad for failing to set their graduates on a steady career path, which unfortunately is just how it goes with the arts. i’m still trying to figure out what i want to do and i constantly have to remind myself that my life isn’t over just because i’m not soloing with orchestras around the world or whatever at 23 years old; im still growing as a musician even after graduating with a degree and i have my whole life to improve !! which i think is one of the most important things to remember

i think that’s about it for now but let me know if you have any other questions :] good luck!!

[talesfrommedinastation]

In Defense of Tech's Hairline

It breaks my heart when I see fan art of Tech with a full head of hair. 

While I don’t mind seeing different versions of him (darker skin and different features to better resemble Temuera Morrison is awesome, and I love it!), it does seem as if fans are trying to override a critical part of aging for many adults. 

After all, 50% of biological men will lose their hair before 50, 25% of them before the age of 21. 21! 

So, when people change Tech’s hairline, it makes me feel quite sad. It’s something that many people go through, and it’s as if the message is: “If you’re balding, you’re not handsome enough. I need to fix that.”  

(Tech's skin, bone structure, and puppy dog eyes prove that statement is wrong, as seen above).

Which is far from the truth. There’s plenty of incredibly handsome folks with less hair, but even so, it’s a part of aging that many people are incredibly insecure and embarrassed about, because society sees thick hair as beautiful, and receding or balding as old or silly. 

Look, I’m a lady with long blond hair in real life. So why am I worked up about this? 

Well, let me tell a quick story, namely, of a guy I know who reminds me so much of Tech. 

That guy is my husband of almost a decade. 

A chief systems engineer with a graduate degree in science, my husband is an adrenaline junkie, an Eagle Scout, a gaming geek, and an absolute loving papa bear to our daughters. He’s Tech IRL, and it’s part of the reason I fell head over heels in love with that member of Clone Force 99. 

(Above: Tech, but I'm sure my spouse has said that to me when I've asked when we're finally going on vacation to Hawai'i).

My husband and I met in graduate school, when he was 23 and  I was 24. He wrestled in high school, and did competitive jiu-jitsu throughout undergrad and graduate school as well. As a result, his fair hair was always buzzed, making it impossible to grab during a grapple. But there was another reason he kept his hair very short.

My then-boyfriend was already going bald, in his early 20’s. 

He could have been sensitive about it, but, ever the stoic cowboy type (I married a Texan, what can I say?) he just shrugged it off, and kept his hair barely above stubble, so few noticed. Eventually, he grew it out, but his receding hairline still bothered him.

He made up for it by growing a magnificently sculpted beard, but snarky remarks from friends and strangers still came through, ranging from how he looked older than me, to asking who he was cursed by to have so much facial hair but none on his head. 

Finally, the inevitable ‘halo’ happened, shortly after our wedding. You know what I’m talking about:

 My husband was not even 30. When he noticed the inevitable full loss of his hair, because of a friend’s unflattering picture of him on Facebook, the clippers came out, and he’s had a fully buzzed and shaved head (a la Captain Picard) ever since. 

Once in a while, he lets his hair grow back…and that hairline comes out, along with the halo on his crown. And guess who happened to be on the screen when my toddler and I were scrolling through Disney + one fine day? 

Sure enough, my almost two year old actually pointed at the screen and screamed, “DADA!” when Tech appeared. The fact that it was a scene where Tech was happily ignoring everyone and tapping away on his data pad was pure kismet--that was my husband on the screen!

My youngest and I got hooked on the show ever since. 

My husband is a dashing, handsome, confident guy who knows he’s smart and that he’s loved.

Just like Tech. 

Seeing the internet go donkey bonkers for him and that hairline of his makes me grin nonstop. (We will not discuss the finale on season 2 here and no, I have not let my toddler watch it either) I like knowing that a ton of people are absolutely simping and crushing on a guy with a receding hairline.

It gives me hope that many who are not feeling confident due to hair loss can see someone like Tech, and suddenly think: “The man is self-assured as all heck, and he has hair like me. Maybe I should be more like him!”

We do not talk as much about hair loss, because, ironically enough, Tech has a quote about it: "It is a fundamental part of life."

So, when I see Tech redrawn with a full head of hair, I just think of the heartache my poor honey went through as a young guy in his 20’s, already facing an inevitable part of aging the vast majority do not look forward to. 

It's inevitable, but there's plenty of handsome dudes with little to no hair, ranging from Picard to Jason Statham and now, our animated neurodivergent prince of the Marauder. I love his hairline.

 Besides, we all can’t be Howzer, dang it, with his flawless fade and mop of glorious hair.

("Howzer deserves his own issue of Tiger Beat," - Reddit)

[corvidcall]

Fascinated by your sarah z hate- would love to hear more about this if you’d like to share. My experience of her is just that mediocre Homestuck vid or something she made.

lmao yeah sure i guess i can expound on it

i should preface this by saying that i dont think shes like. a bad person. and i dont have some secret knowledge of problematique things shes done that we should all Cancel her for.

tl;dr i just think her videos are really bad. she keeps making videos about stuff that i was there for and then being wrong about them, and it drives me crazy. on top of that, it just rubs me the wrong way to make your whole brand "the lady who talks about tumblr"

like, i think her homestuck video sucks (and i think its very funny that she admitted that she only spent a week making it, but ALSO got really defensive when people said she was wrong about stuff. like, i think the way whatpumpkin and andrew hussie responded to her video was Bad but also that doesnt retroactively defend the original video from being poorly researched and, in my opinion, in bad taste. it was weird to make a video where you talk about all the controversy about hs^2 not that long after the whole project got cancelled because too many of the trans women working on it were receiving daily death threats)

and i think the mcelroys video sucks (that was the last one i watched before i gave up entirely. its really long and very boring, and basically is just her listing a bunch of stuff they did that people had problems with, which essentially puts "travis was annoying on twitch" on the same level of seriousness as "taz: graduation used a lot of harmful native american stereotypes". i genuinely am not sure what the point of this video was supposed to be, because it feels like its her reading a tumblr callout post. also she was wrong about taz: amnesty. the ending WAS foreshadowed, it did NOT come out of nowhere, she just wasnt paying attention.)

but the onceler fandom video is honestly the absolute pits. i am still friends with a lot of the people that i was in the onceler fandom with, and i genuinely havent met a single former onceslut who thought her video was good, or the least bit accurate. her thesis basically boils down to that the onceler fandom was just a bunch of young teen girls projecting fantasies onto a nonthreating decently attractive fictional guy, which isnt that weird and people are only making a big thing about it because they hate teenage girls. and her conclusions arent WRONG, per say, since people DO hate teen girls and this is a thing theyre known to do... its just. thats literally not what the onceler fandom was at all?? first off, when i got into it i was 17 and i was the youngest person i knew by far. almost everyone i saw in the fandom were in their 20s, and a lot of them were not girls at all. and as far as any of US remember, the thing sustained the fandom wasnt 13 year old girls exploring their nascent sexualities, it was people using the barest pretense to make OCs, and then craft stories with and about their friends OCs. it was a really cool unique experience because it was a fandom for the things the fandom built. a lot of the people i knew had never watched the movie The Lorax at all, or didnt really care about it one way or another, but DID get really invested in the dynamic between Swag and One, or got really invested in the two big AUs the fandom had. By the time i got there, most people had kinda moved away from the canon onceler anyway, and were focused almost exclusively on the AUs (there was a high school AU and a zombie apocalypse AU, and then during the summer the high school AU blogs would do a child summer camp AU. i liked the zombie one best because i love melodrama, but the high school one was most popular). i know she was IN the onceler fandom (allegedly...) but as far as i can tell, she was just there at the very start, because it changed WILDLY even just a few months after its inception. and there's no way anyone who saw the fandom that I was actually in would make the sweeping statements about it that she did.

broadly, her videos are too unfocused and not really well-written. her one on Oppa Homeless Style was a genuinely good video!! I know she CAN do good videos!! But so many of her more fandom-focused videos dont really seem to have a thesis beyond "this happened" or maybe even "this was kinda weird right?". like what is the viewer supposed to take away from the video about the mcleroys? that they made a podcast that was really popular and then got less popular? why did that take you TWO HOURS to say? and even when she does have a strong thesis, its always muddied by the fact that she feels compelled to add in really long, boring digressions. I think the video about All or Nothing was good, and made an interesting point about how pan and ace people are really starved for meaningful rep, but i dont understand why she felt compelled to recount the entire plot of the webseries someone made? what did that contribute to the thesis? its like shes reading a wikipedia page, and not like. an actual ESSAY. that someone structured to convey a POINT.

but overall i just take umbrage with her whole "tumblr historian" shtick. i think its kind of gross to put really niche (generally woman-dominated) subcultures on display so people can come gawk at the freaks. ive heard the defense that "she IS a fandom person!! these videos are FOR fandom people!!" but 1. if its supposedly supposed to be for me and NOT an audience of people unfamiliar with the thing shes talking about, then there would be no need to spend so long explaining what everything is, and 2. i can at least say, in my own subjective experience, that i said basically all this to my sister, who told me that thats why she likes sarah z at all, because the videos let her come gawk at all the fandom freaks on tumblr. so its cool that sarah z is giving the person who bullied me my whole life (specifically because the way i engaged with media was too cringe) more reasons to bully me for being cringe. big preesh sarah. glad youre making money off of the free content all of us put out, and even more glad that youre profiting by taking all that free content and presenting it to a largely hostile and judgemental audience who already thinks im a fucking idiot. why dont you make a video about my popular hamlet post next, since you seem to make videos exclusively about things i did.

anyway if i want to watch video essays about fandom, i'll watch princess weekes, whose videos are substantive and not... idk very juvenile. not that i think there cant be more than one youtuber talking about fandom!!! its just that sarah z's videos are mid at best and actively bad at worst, so im not gonna bother.

(all that being said, i occasionally look at her blog and reblog stuff. while shes working down in the tumblr mines looking for content to steal, she does frequently find some decent posts to reblog)

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 6

whats playing: Liar by Paramore

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues, first few chapters are flashbacks to high school, they WILL NOT be explicit just fluff.

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 5.8k

May 19th 1980

Chucho and mama went out to dinner with a few other parents on graduation night. Half of it because the parents wanted to celebrate on their own. You had sat in the blazing sun, holding commencement books, looking for your brother’s name. Genie put her digital camera to good use that afternoon, snapping pictures of Frankie crossing the stage and loud cheers when Lorraine walked across. Javier jumped from his seat, placing two fingers in his mouth before letting out a loud whistle.

A deep kiss, his hands wrapped around her hips, and he leans into her body completely. You snapped the picture as Genie was busy telling Frankie how proud she was of him. That typical feeling of melancholy was running straight through your bones. You start to think about how you were going to manage him leaving for college next year.

You swallow, there's still time. A year from now, I have time.

The other half of the parent date night was giving you all space to hang out in the basement. One couch and an armchair. The grads of the night, your curly haired brother and Lorraine.

The new status this summer; you, an incoming sophomore. Javier, a soon to be senior. Frankie and Lorraine, newly grads. And Genie, a popular- the most popular hairdresser in Laredo.

You were sat in your typical positions. Your knees to your chest, a bit separated from everyone as you sit on the lounge chair. Genie leaning on Frankie’s shoulder, he refused to take off his cap despite graduating 4 hours ago. And Lorraine had her legs spread across Javi’s lap as he toyed with the anklet she sported.

A blunt being passed around, this time it was handed to you. Oh, how things have changed.

“So, you became friends after fighting someone for her? some things never change.” Lorraine giggles and hands the smoke to her boyfriend as he nods. His eyes looking down at the blunt before inhaling. Your intoxicated eyes watched the way his lips wrapped around it. Lorraine catching you in the act, “Alright Drea obviously wants some.” She slaps his chest, and he reaches to pass it to you.

Not quite Lorraine, not quite.

You smile a thanks, chasing the smoke. It was the second one of the night so you were already pretty high. Your once large eyes were now low and red. “Truth or dare?” Genie asks Frankie.

Oh god, not this. Not while I’m high.

 You pass it to Frankie. “Truth.” He inhales, Genie sits straight up. She has a devilish look on her face, like she has been waiting so long to press her boyfriend. Javi and Lorraine were now leaning over to watch. She tosses her hair to the side, “Is it true that you fucked Fernanda during our break this winter?” You, Lorraine, and Javi collectively groan.

“Seriously?!” You whine, she has brought this up at every smoke session. Frankie raises his hands in defense.

“No, I literally just gave her a ride home. Not every girl that has gotten in my car has had the privilege of having sex with me.” He laughs before passing it back to Genie, who still had eyes of suspicion. Your face twists in disgust at your brother.

“Vouch!” Javi blurts while staring at you. It takes your clouded mind a minute to get his joke before you give him a delayed annoyed glance. Lorraine gets the joke late like you and slaps his shoulder.

“Better not.” She whispers with a giggle before kissing his cheek.

Someone light me on fire.

Frankie leans in to kiss Genie as an apology for something he didn’t do. Lorraine sits straight up before looking at you. “Truth or Dare Andrea.” A devious smile crawling on her face. No brainer, “Truth.” There’s no way you were accepting a dare, not with Javier in the room. Hell no, not when he’s staring at you.

She looks to Javi and then back to your very nervous face. You were already picking at the dry skin at your lips. “Cover your ears Frankie.” She demands, he doesn’t protest. Lorraine leans forward, staring at you with her blue eyes. “Did you give Daniel a HJ last weekend?”

Your stomach drops and your eyes dart to Frankie, he doesn’t react so he surely didn’t hear but Genie sure did. Then with panic your eyes move to Javi, who had been the one to save you from the party. His nostrils flare for a moment and he leans forward. How the fuck does every hook up I have end up being public information? And why would Daniel talk when Javi had scared him shitless?

Javier’s expression doesn’t budge. Feeling hot, you laugh nervously, “Man you people are fucking up my high.” You run hands through your hair. “S’making me all paranoid.”

“Answer her.” Javi stated with a deep tone that had been so similar to the one he gave Daniel.

You raise your hands in a drunken defense, similar to Frankie-who now seemed to be annoyed with having to cover his ears. “Yes I did, jeez.” You whine, leaning back into the chair.

Javier scoffs with a genuine face of disgust and Lorraine laughs loudly. “My god Andrea slow down!” She playfully kicks you. The smoking lasted for a few more minutes until you were all a bit too high, well maybe just you and Lorraine. The rest of them were experts, at this point it took them 3 blunts and a bowl to actually feel high. The truths and dares lasted. It was back to Lorraine.

“Truth or Dare baby?” She looks at him through heavy lids. He had just picked dare last round and was now wearing Lorraine’s bra on-top of his classic Peña button down shirt. He begins to unclip it though, as the conditions was that he could take it off after it circled back to him.

“Truth.” He says, mixing it up. He places the bra on her lap. Lorraine gives him a look only he can read because for a second he gives her pleading eyes, please don’t eyes. You have never seen him so worried. God, your mouth get so fucking dry when your high. 

“Is it true that we’re moving away?” She asks with her big blue eyes staring at him with deep dimples. Your breathing immediately shakes. You couldn’t help it, you couldn’t help your face of utter confusion. Her smile was so big and his face seemed like he had just seen a ghost.

Oh.

Her grin was the only one in the room as everyone’s faces- well they were all confused. You look to Javi again and his eyes fall in shame. Your brows crease and you could already feel emotion climbing up your throat.Your hand moves to your mouth, biting your nails to keep yourself from overreacting. Maybe she’s joking?

Javi brings his large hand to rub his temple and hiding his guilty face. “We-I’m going to do some training up there and” He pauses as he scans the room. Oh.

The poster.

Your chin quivers and continue hacking at the nails that you spent all year growing out. He hasn’t looked at you though. “Lorraine is going to school there so we’re moving up there.”

The poster, he lied.

You look down to your nails that were back to small stubs, if you sit here any longer you’d probably pick your skin raw. And the silence is so deafening, everyone’s faces are processing. Your chin shakes again at the sight of your brother staring off in the distance. Probably thinking of being apart from his own best friend.

Genie though, she processes the information quicker and her eyes brighten for a moment “No manches!? Javi! oh my goodness!” Genie reaches over to shake him proudly. And the sound of her excitement brings your brother back to earth and he also begins smiling- all giddy at the news. But you found a second comfort with tugging at the dry skin on your lip. Copper spreading against your tongue. Frankie was saying something congratulatory to Javier in Spanish but everything was faded for you.

Genie always knew, she knew how much you liked him so after shifting the attitude of the room she gives you a brief look of sympathy. He still didn’t look at you. He’s spent most of this night staring at you and now is when he wants to be shy. Now-now when you find out he lied to you.

Your feet move before your mouth as you stand from the chair so fast that the heavy loveseat itself scrapes the concrete floor of the basement. Javier looks up at you, a familiar crease of concern between his thick brows.  You point your hand to your mouth with a flared nose-smile, “cotton mouth, I’ll be back.” You voice doesn’t crack thank god because the second you make your way up the steps you feel your vision blur. Feeling like a childish blubbery mess by the time you made it to the kitchen. He was leaving again, for actual training. Not for school, just to start his life as a cop. And he’s leaving with Lorraine. And he lied, you felt it. You felt like everything he had been saying to you-doing to you- for the past few weeks had been things he wanted you to remember. Calling you beautiful, grabbing you, kissing you, laying his hand on you-letting you keep his shirt.

He knew, and you knew deep down. Yet he lied.

 Bracing yourself, your hands gripping the sinks edge, your knuckles turning white. Why did you still cry like such a child, so needy and breathy. Your own hand having to cover your sobs. Your trembling hand turns the tap on drowning out the sound of the footsteps that followed you. Christ, you were hoping it was Genies but you knew his footsteps anywhere.

You see Javier’s silhouette turn the corner into the kitchen and you wipe your eyes fast enough for him not to notice. Taking a cup and actually filling it up. You can feel him lean against the counter to your left. You can feel his eyes burn.

 If my eyes are red from crying, I could just blame it on the pot.

“Querida,” Your eyes close instantly at the sound of his tender voice. Fuck, fuck. Fuck this. “I didn’t mean to upset you- Lorraine sometimes she gets so excited and-“

Your eyes open and you fully turn to him, “No-no Javier. I’m really happy for you.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Christ, you were so proud of him, you always known he was bigger than Laredo. You were just so heartbroken, so ripped in half at the news. You hated that you were going to be left behind, an afterthought when reminiscing about his high school friendship’s. You couldn’t bare that. You fucking hate that he lied. I mean he was going to leave eventually; you were going to find out.

So why lie to me?

Fuck, you loved him too much for this. You didn’t care that maybe in the future you’d look back at this moment and think you were stupid for thinking you loved him, but at this moment you knew you had never felt this way. You never felt this much at once. 

“You’re just my best friend and you weren’t truthful is all” You finally admit and his eyebrows soften before stepping closer to you, trapping your wrist.

The hold was so foreign, it was much softer than the arm grabs when he wanted to express that he was proud of you. The dimmed lights of the Peña kitchen making his features look stronger- his nose so perfectly formed. How lucky to look so beautiful. Fuck you loved him.  “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you then- I just I couldn’t. ”

His thumb rubs against your wrist and it sends chills throughout your frozen body. You just couldn’t take the eye contact any longer, “Don’t apologize to me for doing something good for yourself, just hate that you had to lie- I was getting excited about the summer” You let out a small pathetic fake laugh hoping it would change the position, it was too close. And the laugh was so forced, he knows it was because his face of melancholy doesn’t budge.

You were actually afraid that your high mind would make you grab him by his face and kiss him on your tip-toes.

You watch as his chest rises and falls slowly, and his eyes frantically search your tear stained cheeks. It’s like you could see his desperation in his mind, like you could see that he trying to find the next thing to say. His mind running, you’d never seen him look at you this way. Like he was on the verge of tears himself.

He breathes, “If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay.” He says it so clear. He says it as if every word he’s said to you were coated in lies and this was his one opportunity to be real, to be truthful.

The request makes you feel like the entire room was now devoid of air.

If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay

If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay

No.

You can’t. You can’t do that. Not to Lorraine, you can’t do that. You shouldn’t even be able to have control over this. It isn’t supposed to be this way. You had wished for so many years of a moment like this. Him being vulnerable and wanting something with you- something of you.

Not like this, no.

You shake your head, you can’t control the tears do end up falling. “Javier you can’t do this.” You snap your wrist anger. Anger for you and for his girlfriend. “You can’t ask me something like that, you know I’ve liked you for so many years. You can’t just-“

His eyes drop to the floor at the sound of your crying voice, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re right that was a stupid thing to say.” He rubs the back of his neck, looking so wrecked. Like he realizes he just fucked up. He steps backwards and his look was so dissociated from the moment now.

You wipe your tears profusely. “No- no I’m sorry I’m not mad at you-“  You sigh, stepping closer and he steps back again. “You-you love Lorraine, and you have a life over there. My opinion shouldn’t matter this much-I’m just your friend you know-“ . Your voice breaks. The lines on his forehead smoothen with sympathy and he attempts to reach out for you but you turn your back to him.

You hear his steps getting closer. “Querida,” he whispers and you could just picture his face behind you.

“Please don’t call me that.” You blurt, wiping your face again.

“I’m sorry please,“

The last plead does it and you turn quickly to walk past him, avoiding all eye contact. “Tell Frankie I felt sick, I’m going to go home.” You grab your purse that was sat on the living room couch. Javi’s steps hurry behind you.

“Please don’t leave Andrea.” His words are rushed, “It’s dark and-“

You open the front door and walk out, shutting it quickly.

Your hands cover my mouth to stifle sobs as your shoes crunch on his dirt driveway when you walk pass his truck. You don't think you ever stop crying.

May 25th 1980

You had been wallowing away in your room for the first few days of summer break. Frankie would attempt to come into the room but you would yell at him which would cause him to groan and shut the door again. You really didn’t want to see anyone. You would roam the house during the hours that mama and Frankie were working. Taking your time with removing any sort of memory you had made with Javier. Tucking it away in a drawer next to your bed.

You thought about graduation night an unhealthy number of times the past week.

It was unfair, so unfair for Javier to put you in that position when you had grown to love the girl he brought into the lives of your friend group.

It was unfair that he wasn’t going to tell you guys. It was even more unfair for him to lie when you practically asked him directly. You had overheard Frankie talk to mama in Spanish in the hall. She asked him when Javi leaves.

He leaves tomorrow. May 26th 1980, he’ll be packed on the road heading 4 hours away. It could be worse; he could be all the way in New York or something.

But training is rigorous, coming home isn’t just a little trip. Especially with Lorraine going to school for nursing. Mama tried a few times to talk to you but you tried your hardest to keep her away from your cave. Its not like she'd know what to say, you two rarely spoke. 

If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay.

What did that even entail? That he wanted to stay and just needed one reason to? Did he want to stay for you? Why were you the person to convince him to stay?  Was it even possible that maybe he liked you back, why didn’t he say? If he did, he would’ve said something. Its fucking Javier Peña, if he wanted something he would take it.

A knock comes at your door around 3 pm that day. Your nose was buried into a book, some fantasy, you promised yourself that if it has any lick of romance you would shut it but now the characters that have longed to be together are finally getting together and you have refused to put it down. You had your period last week, so it wasn’t your hormones making you this way. You close the book shut quickly as the prince unbuttons the shirt of his lover.

“Who!” You yell, mama was home, it had to be her. She was probably trying to get you to eat since your diet has consisted of waffles in the morning and water to hold you off. She was really trying to get you out of this state, offering yesterday to drive with her to the lake to tan. You politely declined. The door to your room opens, revealing Genie in a t-shirt and paper bag shorts. Her bangs nearly covering her light eye makeup. Your brows raise and you sit up, feeling embarrassed by your state. Just in a polka dot night gown. “Oh, Hi”  You say breathlessly.

She flattens her hands on her shorts, a wet streak forming. “I got caught in your sprinklers.” She laughs before making her way to the edge of the bed, sitting down and you pull your knees to your chest to give her space. You laugh too, it wasn’t genuine but it just what you felt was appropriate at the moment. She stares at you, to think she used to be your childhood bully and now she’s the closest person to you.

There's concern in her gaze, she sees your eyes. You had stared in the mirror earlier today seeing them puffy and dark below. She picks up the book you had put to the side and makes an agreeing face. “Heard the characters fuck like crazy in here” She lightens up the mood and you finally do let out a real laugh.

You give her bashful nod, “Yeah, I haven’t gotten there yet, was close though.” You laugh and hug your own legs. Silence falls between you two again, as Genevieve stares at the blank space where the New Years Eve picture once was, also where the group prom picture had been. You know why she’s here. Everyone’s been wondering where you were, especially since the friendship stakes are so high because two-fifths of the friend group will be 4 hours away in just a day.

She finally cuts the air, “Lorraine’s been real worried about you, she feels like she did something wrong that night.” You bite the inside of your cheek, man everyone must be so lost. “Javier won’t tell us a thing, he’s a good liar but I know you.” She tilts her head, trying to search your face for answers. Just the sound of his name makes your stomach flip. How do I even explain myself?

“What happened-”

And you start speaking immediately, trying your best. “You know I’ve liked him for so long and him leaving just immediately made me emotional.”

“I saw, I was really worried when you came up with that stupid excuse, you know you just can’t hide your emotions right? Even when you were younger, when Javi would hug you- you literally couldn’t hide that smile.” She beams, but the reference just twists the knife in further. You prove Genevieve's previous statement as she is immediately able to read your change in face. “Anyway, I know something happened in the kitchen. You would never just leave like that, y’know Lorraine’s real upset with him, thinkin’ he kissed you or something.”

Your eyes nearly bulge from your head, “Oh- no, no please tell her that didn’t happen!” Your sadness was taken over by panic.

“I will but you need to tell me what happened.”

She was very serious in that moment. The most serious you had seen her be in years. This time you don’t hesitate, you had kind of been so desperate to talk about this with someone.

“He asked me to tell him to stay.” You admit in one short sentence. His words meant so many things but the unspoken was understood. Genevieve's brows quickly shoot up in shock, she understands the implications of his words. “He said that he would stay if I told him to-“

Genie has this face of disappointment and hurt; her head is shaking in disapproval the second she’s out of her state of shock. You already know what her response is, she can’t tell her-

 “No, I can’t tell her that, it’ll break her heart.”

She was right. The reality was Lorraine was moving away with her boyfriend, but he doesn’t truly want to be there. But who he wants to be with is still unclear, it can’t be me. If it was me, he would’ve had me a long time ago.

But then why would he ask me to tell him to stay?

Why is it that just my request is enough for him to stay?

This was far too confusing for your sixteen year old brain. You press your cheek against your knees and your eyes water again. Genie is right. “No, you can’t. Please just tell her that I was upset because of my crush, and he rejected me, just tell her he rejected me please.” Genevieve stares at your bloodshot eyes and nods. She knows it’s hard for you, she knows your intentions, even if it’s a lie. You honestly wished he had just rejected you then. You wished this could be easier .

“I will, I’ll tell her.” She agrees and pulls your curled body into her own. “But you’ve got to see them before they leave, you have to.” She kisses your hair that was tussled in a bun. You nod in agreement but in that moment you didn’t realize what that entailed.

Genevieve left to go see Lorraine and she told her the new “truth”. Lorraine wasn’t upset or angry, she was glad that Javier nipped the crush in the bud. She just felt bad for you, and Genie had her promise not to bring it up. She told you about the agreement when she called your house phone to tell you that they wanted you at Chucho’s the next afternoon.

“They won’t bring it up, they want to see you before they leave tomorrow afternoon.”

On your bike, you rode past the other pastures of land and ended in the dirt driveway the afternoon of May 26th. The bike ride was never this long, you got to thinking of everything. Of your bike ride to town in 77’, how Javier’s voice was so childish while he held that boy to the ground. How your bare scraped knees would knock into each other in the back of Genevieve’s buggie. You thought of every single time he defended you back when you were just the young one to pick on. You recalled walking home late at night with his arm around your shoulder, laying his palm flat on your face to cover your eyes when Frankie and Genie kissed goodnight. You thought about the summer of 78’ Javier had finally got a deep voice but it cracked occasionally, he had held your hands in the roller rink and got into a fist fight with a boy who chucked a ball at the back of your head at the court. You smiled to yourself at that memory, Javier’s voice cracking as he punched the boy in the nose.

 You remember the school year starting and being so confused by the truck he would drive-unlicensed-not being in the driveway. You remembered Frankie telling you that he had “just left to training” for the summer. And engraved in your head was the moment he hugged you with his calloused hand on your bare back. You remember everything. Every arm squeeze, every time his face would screw at the mention of your love life and you just remember everything.

You lay your bike flat on the gravel. Chucho was sitting on the porch, a cigarette in hand. You managed to make enough effort to look like you hadn’t been in bed for a week. Biking shorts and a sweater had to do. His lips quickly quirked into a smile and he’s on his feet as your sneakers approach the steps. You were never shocked that Chucho was allowing this to happen, he never wanted him to be limited to this town- not his only son. “He’s been missing you this week, I can tell.” He says as he releases the hug. You can’t tell if he was just being kind or not but you only respond with a smile. He beckons you towards the home while he sits back on the porch seat.

You step into the house you ran from just a week ago. Your stomach dropping when all of your friends come into sight. They were in the kitchen instead of being in the basement.

At least if they were in basement, I would have had time to adjust.

 Your brother and Genies face light up at the sight of you. Frankie was really worried about you; he had sat in your room trying to talk to you more this week than ever before in his life.

You couldn’t help but look to Javi who’s face was full of regret, his eyebrows with that familiar crease. Lorraine holding to his arm with a sympathetic smile.

Fuck this, could I make a run for it?

“Look what the cat dragged in” Frankie jokes, a beer in his hand. Everyone feels afraid to laugh at his joke and its fucking awkward. You give him a sarcastic smile before snatching the beer from his hand and taking a sip.

Then they laughed, saving you from the uncomfortable feeling sitting in your rib cage. You smile into the can while trying to wash away that knowing feeling.

Their conversation continues, Lorraine was on a rant about how busy she’ll be with her first semester. She complains about the number of general courses she has to take. Through it all Javi is detached, staring at the floor or at his drink. “What classes are you taking little sophomore?” Lorraine’s voice started off as background noise. Startled from being caught off guard after looking away and being stuck in your head you blink rapidly.

Javier was looking at you now, you could feel him, but you didn’t dare keep your eyes off Lorraine. “Oh… I’m taking all the general stuff, but I do think I’m doing an elective… its for teaching. I think I want to major in it, I’m not sure.” You smile, bringing the cold tin to your lips.

“You never told me you wanted to be a teacher,” Javi’s voice rings through your mind, oh okay.

You look to him who has that same face of concern and hurt. “Never told you.” You state harsher than intended but bring the beer up to your mouth again.

His face falls with hint of hurt but Genie interrupts. “Well, my dad is helping me out with opening a salon next to that for rent space next your moms’ boutique.” Her announcement earns her the attention, thank God. Lorraine goes on how she will come back specifically to get her hair fixed by her.

Chucho enters the room 20 minutes later. A sympathetic smile on his face at the sight of all of the friends gathered in his kitchen. “No quiero arruinarte, eres divertido, pero tenemos  ponte en marcha.” The announcement changes the once playful vibe of the room, Javier pushes himself off from the counter he was leaned on. “Frankie and Genie could you two help me bring those on the truck, Genie you’ve got the height.” Chucho jokes letting out a husky laugh as Frankie rolls his eyes.

If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay.

Maybe you should’ve just told him to stay because you can’t bare this feeling that’s boiling. “I’m gonna give my room one more glance” Javier announces before disappearing into the hall.

Lorraine gestures you to follow her out the house but the second you reach the porch she grabs your arm. You were distracted by the sight of Frankie struggling to load the truck and Genie picking up the boxes as if it were weightless. You look into her eyes, so full of genuine emotion like always. You feel horrible. Oh god.

“I am not upset with you; I know you liked him a lot and I know he cares for you. He didn’t reject you because you aren’t worthy or anything dumb your probably thinking right now, he cares for you but it’s different from being in love with you and I’m sorry he confused you.” Her clueless words almost sting from its bluntness, yet you almost want to laugh from how far off it was from the truth. You nod, hoping she ends this conversation but she continues, “You will find someone that cares for you like he does, but that person will love you in the way he loves me. You are one of the sweetest, funniest-”

“What are you two gossiping about?” Javier interrupts her words. She smiles sweetly at him. “I’m just tellin’ her I’m not mad about your talk on graduation night.” She bats her lashes at him and his face grows increasingly concerned.

You hurry to interfere before he reveals the lie accidentally. Fuck did Genie not tell him the lie? “She's saying no hard feelings and all since you rejected me after I told you I liked you that night.” You give Javi a look of desperation, hoping he’d catch on. His face twitches with a twinge of sadness at your attempt to protect Lorraine.

He exhales, his hands in his denim pockets before turning to Lorraine, “Right” He sighs,  “I just found this in my room and felt like I should take it on the road.” He takes a folded picture from his pocket and leans to show his girlfriend first, her cheeks deepening, and she gushes. Finally, Javi moves the image towards you, revealing a picture of the both of you taken by his dad. “1977, isn’t that crazy?” Your hair was in long braids and Javier had his arms around your shoulder like always. You don’t even remember this being taken.

 You stare, biting your lip at the sight. Fuck.

A loud beep makes you jump, and Javier jumps too as the picture drops. He reaches down and quickly picks it up to fold it back into his pocket.

Lorraine skips down the steps. Just you and Javier stranded in silence on the porch, you open your mouth to say something but he just follows Lorraine without glancing another glance in your direction.

Lorraine runs to hug your brother tightly. It was time for goodbyes, you should’ve just stayed home and avoided all this shit because you were already feeling a sickness in your gut. Frankie plants kisses on Lorraine’s cheek before she parted to hug Genie. Javi walks further into the driveway where the commotion was.

Hugging your own body, Javier takes Frankie into a hug, a lengthy one. You watch as they all hug and you can’t help but be reminded of New Years, watching them all from a distance. Always feeling left out in some way. In a sad twisted way it felt full circle. That this would be happening for you, that it would end in this way.

Your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by Lorraine’s fruity perfume engulfing you as she hugs. She kisses your cheek, not caring that her lipstick was leaving marks on your face. “Thank you-for understanding and being so kind” She whispers so sweetly. You cant keep yourself together and you begin to cry. And not for the reasons she believes.

 She parts from you and holds your arms like she did that night 5 months ago, just staring at your tear-stained cheek before squeezing your arm and parting, walking back to the truck. She was leaving with a lie.

The hug that Javi held Genie in had ended seconds ago and his tall body comes into your focus. His very 1975-esque pants and a button down, it was so familiar for him and usually seeing him in it was comforting but today it was different. Today his stature was sported with a look of sorrow as he stepped closer to you. And closer, you look to your brother and his girlfriend but they had walked up to the truck to speak to Chucho in the passenger’s seat- you look to Javi again.

He grabs you in one deft move, his arms wrapping around your lower back and his head peering down into your neck. No one has ever held you this close before, this tight. You almost didn’t know how to react; you just knew he could feel your skipping heart.

But finally, you just sink into him and your head falling into his chest. You couldn’t care that your tears were wetting his shirt, you just couldn’t care about that. His hands flatten and move up your back with desperation. Calling this a hug would be a disservice to its intimacy and desperation. You could feel his breath slowing and his body relaxing into your own before he spoke.

“Cuidate, Andrea” He mumbles into your neck, making your skin vibrate. Before you could grasp him back he pulls away and turns to the truck without looking toward you.  

As you watch him load the truck he continues to avoid eye contact, his hands pinching his nose before you watch him go.

And he leaves.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 10, "The Bracebridge Dinner" Part 1

You can read my previous reviews here.

Brace-Bridge Din-Ner Brace-Bridge Din-ner Brace-Bridge Din-Ner YEAH!!!

Motivational Plaque: In a Sea of Run Away Little Boy's, be a Bracebridge Dinner. This is my third favorite episode after "They Shoot Gilmores Don't They"?" and "Lorelai's Graduation Day"! (I know I said it was #2 in my previous post but I somehow forgot about LGD). I can watch it over and over!

It's a beautiful winter's day in Star Hollow. There's a crisp chill in the air, the unemployed townies are hard at work building snowmen, Taylor Doose has assembled yet another front for his financial crimes ("The Stars Hollow Winter Festival", not to be confused with "The Stars Hollow Winter Carnival") and somewhere in North Carolina, Diet Logan is getting hazed at Military School. Ahhhhh. *breathes in* All is right in the world. For now. Lorelai and Rory are complaining that Snow's mouth is crooked and Rory says she has "stroke mouth" which is not a very nice thing to say, and all I could think about is poor Milo.

Me when Dean shows up in a few minutes (but at least he mostly stays in his lane and manages to not completely ruin this episode for once).

No, no, no, no. CHRISTOPHER is in this flawless episode? How did I black him out of my memory?

Jackson's like, "Uh, come again Sookie?"

Uh oh is right. Of course he has a sign that says OBEY. with a giant creepy eye. GTFO out of my 3rd Favorite Episode, what are you doing here you fucklenut? "I know Rory has a school break coming up and I'd like her to come and visit for a few days." How CONVENIENT. Summary: Crusty:Ask Rory if she wants to visit me. Lorelai: Okay will do. ANNYWAAAY Does anyone else wonder where Jess is whenever he isn't around? Just me? Okay..

Have I ever mentioned how fascinated I am by the offscreen, unseen world of the Rory-less life at Stars Hollow High School? Yeah, I know, several times. I admit it's kind of weird that I'm obsssed with an imaginary world where Dean would be a main character.

PUT ON A COAT SWEETIE YOU'RE GONNA CATCH PNEUMONIA!

I am Jess Mariano's defense lawyer, and whatever this Chuck Presby did, I'm sure he deserved it.

Those curly curls. "You saw it was me Jess, why did you keep punching?" *shrugs* "I had momentum." Valid defense. Free my client he is innocent.

Thiiiin lips! Oh he mad. "Luke's coming to the dinner with Jess." "I'll put Jess in a room with Miss Patty." "There will be no Jess left in the morning." I'm starting to think Miss Patty is on a sex offender registry.

Me to anyone who doesn't like my commentary.

Who let Crustypher have a dog? Where is the dog? Should I call the ASPCA?

An appearance by Babette makes any episode better.

Clara is me. I am Clara.

Is this the debut of Jess' Ugly Oversized Vomit Brown Coat? What wretched church donation bin did Liz find this thing in? The only inanimate object I despise more than the Stars Hollow Bridge is this coat.

Hi.

Dean: He better not do that all night. Do what all night? Wave at people? Shut the fuck up.

Hi.

(portrait of the author watching this scene)

Jess & Luke reacting to "there are horse drawn sleighs outside and everyone gets a ride." Lorelai: There's something so magical about Stars Hollow this time of year. Luke: Yeah, there's the magical plumbing supply store where I bought a magical toilet float last year. Listen up everybody! Luke Danes has learned the secret of parenting and he's going to tell us what it is! Luke: I learned that sometimes you gotta lie to your kid to spare them a lot of hurt. Liz knew that Jess had some time off from school, but she never called, so I lied to him and told him his Mom wanted him to come home but since he was still adjusting here that I thought he should stay, and that his Mom was really upset by that but I insisted he stay here. He bought it hook, line and sinker. Heh heh. What?

Also. Like Liz Danes would be sober enough to know or care that he was on winter break.

Jess, sweetheart, my love, my darling traumatized baby boy, my little cupcake sweetymuffin cutiecookie with precious sprinkles on top, here's my credit card, go buy yourself a new coat. You deserve a treat after all you've been through. #BurnThatCoat

I just think it's reaaaal shifty that they bought Liz into the show as a regular character and they made her surface level cute and quirky! Look at the goofy hippy making bracelets for the renaissance faire! Teehee! Did they think I would forget shit like this? NO. I HATE HER.

Now, I think I should get something important out of the way in regards to these reviews. If it seems like I'm not saying much about Jess or Jess&Rory, it's not beacuse I don't absolutely adore the ever loving shit out of him. But everything that can ever be said about Jess and Rory has been said at this point. They have been analyzed, dramatized, scrutinized, gificized, lyricized, TaylorSwifticzed, FanficiSized and picked apart like a herd of hyenas going to town on an antelope. i don't think any other couple in the history of television whose tenuous and let's face it, quite unhappy relationship only lasted less than one season has been dissected as much as Literati. So if I don't put every little interaction, every line, every breath they take under a microscope and gloss over some things, don't hold it against me. Never you fret. Jess Mariano is always on my mind. Besides, my style is more about cynical mockery, searching for Millennial references, picking apart the things no one else cares about, coming up with new and creative ways for Dean Forrester to die, searching the background for misspelled signs, and begging Jess to buy a new coat. So yes I am intently watching the cute scene with Jess and Rory in the sleigh. I promise. With that out of the way...let's continue.

'The gang's all here. So nice. Ran out of room, part 2 in another post, you know the drill.

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 2: Private Teacher

Narrated by Chi Xiaoyu.

Narrator: A month ago, I started the preparation for this flash mob event.

Narrator: I set up a discussion group online with other girls who like to wear the improved Cloud style.

Chi Xiaoyu: So, it'll be the 10th of next month! Everyone will pretend to be passing by, and then suddenly assemble.

Participant: What's the location?

Chi Xiaoyu: Say, how about the square in front of the Cloud Museum?

Participant: The square is large, spacious, and very suitable for this project, but... will there be a problem?

Chi Xiaoyu: I don't think there will be. We're just going to be there for more people to see!

Narrator: Most importantly, Jiang Xitong will see this!

Narrator: Of course, I didn't say that out loud.

You: But why her?

Narrator: She's the one who failed me at the final oral defense two weeks ago!

Narrator: Besides, that's the sixth time she has failed me.

Narrator: Aaagh, I'm so mad! Why does the school always invite her as a guest judge?

Choose either "Didn't she like your design?" or "Did you do a poor design?"

If "like," ...

You: Is it because she doesn't like your design?

Narrator: She only likes designs copied from history textbooks. And the rest are all "plebeian and classically distorting"!

If "poor," ...

You: Is it because you didn't give a good enough design?

Narrator: It's not! Our class has a total of 24 students. 21 received a fail, all from her...

Narrator: The only person who got a high score designed a suit entirely in the ancient style.

--

Narrator: I'm not sad for how many times she failed me, after all...

Narrator: Those who walk at the forefront of the times are destined to be lonely.

Narrator: Oh, I almost forgot. It's her seventh time giving me a fail, starting from my high school...

Narrator: At that time, Jiang Xitong had not graduated from college.

Narrator: One day, my mother suddenly wanted me in the study.

Mom: Xiaoyu, Mom has specially found you a gentle, elegant, and well-learned tutor.

Mom: She's already the youngest National Museum expert consultant before graduation, and she's a great designer!

Chi Xiaoyu: Mom, I don't need remedial classes!

Mom: You don't want to do anything about your poor grades?

Chi Xiaoyu: That's... that's because everything the teacher says is so boring! It's no use learning those things!

Narrator: "Ding-dong" the doorbell rang before I could make a scene.

Mom: Must be your tutor. Don't you dilly-dally. Mind your manners before the tutor, you know that?

Narrator: The first time we met, Jiang Xitong was indeed a proper lady with classical temperament and a pretty look.

Narrator: Mom said Jiang Xitong was a great designer, so I kinda looked forward to her tutorials.

Narrator: But in just five minutes of classes...

Jiang Xitong: Year 246, Cloud calendar. What happened then?

Chi Xiaoyu: What?

Jiang Xitong: The Wardrobe Advisor system was set up, hence the Cloud design. You don't even know about that?

Chi Xiaoyu: Wh-what's the big deal? Internet will tell me that...

Jiang Xitong: Traditional culture is the basis of all design. If you don't build on the past, how do you use it in the design?

Narrator: Jiang Xitong pulled out a large pile of files from her bag and handed them to me.

Jiang Xitong: Memorize page 1 to 20 before next class.

Chi Xiaoyu: ...Huh?!

Narrator: Just as I try to recall the page number, Jiang Xitong spotted a design on my desk.

Narrator: Although I leapt over as quick as I could and put it away, she saw it.

Jiang Xitong: This is distortion of classics. It's downright plebeian.

Chi Xiaoyu: You! You don't understand!

Jiang Xitong: Next time, you may attend class in the studio. It's necessary to show you what the real design should be like.

Jiang Xitong: Now that I've been entrusted by your mother, I'll put you on the right track.

Jiang Xitong: Now, class time!

Chi Xiaoyu: ...

Narrator: After going through Jiang Xitong's class, I regretted wasting my time in school.

Choose either "Realized how wide the gap is?" or "Were you encouraged?"

If "realized," ...

You: You felt the gap between you and her?

If "encouraged," ...

You: Because you are inspired to study harder?

--

Narrator: Because her lesson was more boring than the lessons in school! Her catchphrase is "memorize"!

Narrator: A week later, my mother sent me to Jiang Xitong's design studio on time.

Jiang Xitong: You wait for me in the studio. I'll get the materials for class.

Narrator: Jiang Xitong's design studio was, as I imagined, filled with exhibition boards of paintings and costumes.

Narrator: The clothes she designed were the same as those worn by the ancients, lavish in patterns.

Narrator: Do you like her design?

Choose either "Looks good" or "Not good."

If "yes," ...

You: I think I fancy that.

Narrator: Anyway, I don't like the orthodox style, which is neither convenient nor comfortable to wear. Cloud has to change.

If "no," ...

You: I don't think I fancy that.

Narrator: And it's neither convenient nor comfortable to wear. Cloud needs to change because of its long history.

--

Narrator: While Jiang Xitong was away, an idea occurred to me...

Narrator: I quickly opened Xitong's design drawing, and made a great deal of changes.

Chi Xiaoyu: Well... Make the dress shorter, lest it touches the ground and renders running impossible.

Chi Xiaoyu: The patterns here are too lavish. Gonna remove a few...

Chi Xiaoyu: The cuffs are so tight and certainly inconvenient...

Jiang Xitong: ...What are you doing?

Narrator: I was so invested, I didn't know that Jiang Xitong had come back.

Chi Xiaoyu: Uh... I've changed your design a little bit. Tee-hee. How do you like it?

Narrator: Jiang Xitong seemed very pissed off.

Narrator: Acting cute seemed not to work...

Jiang Xitong: ...Please get out of here, immediately.

Chi Xiaoyu: Would you like to take another look?

Jiang Xitong: Get out!

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

[rouzys]

THE UNOFFICIAL ST. LOUIS BLUES PRIMER PART TWO: DEFENSEMEN

COLTON PARAYKO (A)

Info: #55, RD, STL 2012

Last season: 4 goals + 27 pts

History: He's actually pretty interesting and I would recommend just reading through his wikipedia for a more in-depth read. He went undrafted in the WHL, then got dropped by his AJHL team and had to pay to tryout with another team to become their 7th defenseman. After being drafted, he played at the University of Alaska Fairbanks for 3 years, then came up to play with the Blues and took several online classes during his rookie season in 15-16 to complete his degree (Business Admininstration)(he is so boring sometimes).

Profile: FAST when he wants to be, plays a ton of minutes on the first defensive pairing but isn't very physical despite being tall as hell (6'6). He's definitely improved from last season and has already nearly doubled his scoring in half the time. Usually on the first or second PP units.

NICK LEDDY

Info: #4, LD, MIN 2009

Last season: 2 goals + 23 pts

Info: From Minnesota and drafted by the Wild, went to college at the University of Minnesota, and by the time he left he had his rights traded to Chicago. He played there and won the cup in both 2013 and 2015, then played for the Islanders for a number of years. Traded to Detroit, then in the beloathed Sundqvist + Walman trade and has played with the Blues since the 21-22 season. Currently midway through a 4 year extension

Profile: VERY good puck protection and stickhandling, though it's not flashy. Great 200-foot player, can and will take the puck from one end straight to the other. Refreshing on a team that sucks ass at zone entries. Making $4 mil a year to be a top pairing defenseman which is damn good if you ask me

Other: My mom kept mixing up him and Bortuzzo. Unfortunately this won't be a problem anymore.

JUSTIN FAULK (A) (Faulker, Flack)

Info: #72, RD, CAR 2010

Last season: 11 goals + 50 pts (career high pts!)

History: Played in the USNTDP, then played at the University of Minnesota Duluth where he won a national championship and set a school record for most points by a defenseman. Played for the Hurricanes from 2011 through the 18-19 season, including being a co-captain and an alternate captain of the team. Traded to Blues and immediately signed a big 7 year contract. 23-24 season is his first as a Blues alternate captain :)

Profile: Solid two-way defenseman, plays a lot of minutes. Good a frequent shooter, a great blueline shot presence which allows lots of tipped goals a rebounds.

Other: Was in the top 20 for longest streak of consecutive NHL games played (17th??), but recently missed 5 games due to injury :( also he's my Favorite

TOREY KRUG

Info: #47, LD, undrafted

Last season: 7 goals + 32 pts

History: A rare undrafted veteran! He played for Michigan State University for 3 years, then signed with the Bruins and made it on the roster full-time by the 13-14 season. He graduated from Michigan State after doing online courses for over 5 years (Political Science, originally Finance but couldn't get credits online). Played with the Bruins in the 2019 SCF against the Blues, and his hit on Robert Thomas actually caused a new rule to be added! Signed a 7 year contract with the Blues as a free agent in 2020

Profile: Underized (5'9) but will throw around both his body and his hands. Decent offense and solid defense.

SCOTT PERUNOVICH (Scotty)

Info: #48, RD, STL 2018

Last season: 2 goals + 20 pts (AHL)

History: I've been very impatiently waiting for this guy's real rookie year for like four years now. He played for Minnesota Duluth (where he took the defenseman scoring title formerly held by Faulk), won the NCAA Frozen Four Championship, and won NCHC rookie of the year. He's a bit undersized (5'10, 175lb) and this has had him battling injuries for the last several seasons. He played 19 games with the Blues in the 21-22 season (including the winter classic!) but spent the entire 22-23 season on the Springfield Thunderbirds recovering from injuries.

Profile: has yet to score an NHL goal but has been a great scorer both in college and in the AHL. Physical player, not much NHL experience with under 50 games under his belt and no concrete defensive partner. Still finding his groove on a team that has struggled defensively

Other: Won the Hobey Baker award in his Junior year of college! Was originally ranked to be drafted around the fourth round, but due to his collegiate performance and Blues scout Keith Tkachuk (!!) he ended up being drafted much earlier

MARCO SCANDELLA

Info: #6, LD, MIN 2008

Last season: 1 goal + 2 pts

History: played his first several years in Minnesota, then in Buffalo, and was traded to both Montreal and then St. Louis in the 19-20 season. Only played 20 games of the 22-23 season due to an early season hip injury and surgery, and then another lower body injury in April that took him out for the rest of the season. He'll be a UFA at the end of the season.

Profile: Pretty run-of-the-mill third pairing defenseman, sometimes a healthy scratch. Blues have struggled defensively and are trying to develop younger defensemen, so he's often the one to be sidelined for them.

Other: his instagram username is @ scandeezy6 which is fucking awesome

TYLER TUCKER (Tucks)

Info: #75, LD, STL 2018

History: Technically in his sophomore season! Played 28 games last year, had his first goal and his first TWO fights. Played for both the San Antonio Rampage (RIP) and the Utica Comets (temporary affiliate) before debuting in Nov 2022. Not on the Blues roster at the moment but has played a non-insignificant amount of games with them!

Profile: A strong defenseman who is very physical. Hasn't had much of an opportunity to prove himself at the NHL level, but has had good offensive seasons in the past. Currently taking a break from the press box for a conditioning stint in Springfield :)

[evewasheretoday]

This idea has been rotting in the back of my head for a few days now— BUT Veronica swapping places with J.D?!

Like after Veronica graduates high school, she meets up with the gang (Betty Finn, Martha and Mac -Duke, cause she's busy elsewhere) and after she finishes, she gets hit by a truck on her way home then BOOM! She's back in the past but things are a little different.

1.) JD is nowhere to be found.

2.) Her mom has somehow been dead for a few years now, her dad and her just recently moved into Sherwood.

3.) And apparently, she's the new kid at Westerberg High now.

Since Veronica was given this wonderful terrible chance of time-travel (sorta), she decides to do the usual. Fix the past and get rid of your mistakes! But oh boy, she doesn't know of the consequences of doing that.

At lunch, Kurt & Ram pick on Veronica. She fights with them and after that, she catches Duke looking at her. Amused at the green Heather actually paying attention to her, she shoots her with a smile (that oddly enough got turned into a smirk or a wolfosh grin) before she gets taken away by the teachers and is talked to by them.

Duke blushes faintly at what Veronica did, Chandler catching this, teases her. Mac joining in, not even a few seconds after. Basically, Veronica (from the movies with a mix of the musicals) takes JD's place while Duke takes her.

Veronica approaches Duke and tries being buddy ol' pal with her (which was surprisingly successful). Ever since this happened, Veronica and Duke grew closer before Veronica eventually decided to befriend Mac and they become close too (the closeness the Heathers and Veronica have with each other are different individually).

Chandler takes notice of this and is like “The hell? Who's this blue obsessed girl trying to get with my girls?” before she gets her defenses up, tries every and any way she can to antagonize Veronica but the brunette is completely unaffected by it. Mac finds out, tells Duke about it and scolds Chandler. They get into a fight, Mac distances herself from Chandler while Duke stays with her because she doesn't have the guts like Mac does.

Mac and Veronica grow closer than before while Duke and Chandler are left to each other. They bond too but it ends up with angst so— After Chandler keeps blowing off her emotions at Duke, Duke finally has enough of it and does the same Mac did. Chandler is left lonely before Veronica stumbles in her life and is like “Hey, I know you hate me but I thought you could use some company” then they become friends. Chandler apologizes for the stuff she did to Veronica and then the romantic stuff comes! Duke realizes she might like Veronica more than she thinks she should. Mac realizes she's got this crush on Veronica while Chandler is feeling some things for Veronica but she doesn't know what they are. All the while, Veronica is completely oblivious and dense about it.