#in my defense i had an exam this week but they changed dates for next week so all that studying made me a bit stressed

[wolfchans]

Chan's birthday week is starting tomorrow and i haven't done anything yet 😩 I need to start something at least today so I'm ready for tomorrow

[lovely-peace]

Tangled in lies

Summary: When your longtime crush is your best friends ex, things aren't really going well. And on a party you go together everything changes.

Pairing: Sirius black x hufflepuff!reader

Warnings: toxic friendship, past toxic relationship (not with the reader), insecurities, self conscious , fake dating (not in this but in the next parts)

Wc: +4100 i hope you like it. The last week I was working on it <3

Masterlist

Prologue part 1

"Did you see that? He just winked at me! I told you there's still something between us!" Seraph whispered in my ear. It seemed like he winked at m-… But she was probably right; I shouldn't think narcissistically.

Three months ago, she and Sirius broke up because he saw her apparently fooling around with another boy. She insisted that he meant everything to her and the other boy meant nothing, but he didn't listen.

In the past few weeks, tension had been building up between them. Seraph saw it as a sign that he couldn't be without her. I don't know what he was thinking; I don't know him well.

But I wish I did.

"Whisky? Are you listening to me?" Seraph brought me back to the present.

"Yes, sorry. I just remembered something."

She looked at me skeptically. "What is it?"

'Hey, what's your name?' His voice echoed in my ears. It sounded so beautiful. 'I'm-' 'Whisky, where are you?' Seraph searched for me. 'Always the same with this girl…' she whispered, but I heard it anyway. But she surely didn't mean it that way. 'Whisky?' he asked with a grin that, with anyone else, would have seemed like he was making fun of them. But with Sirius, it just looked charming.

'Ah, there you are!' Seraph came over to us before I could say anything. She glanced at me briefly, then at Sirius. Then she smiled at me. 'Come, Whisky, you must be tired; after all, we have a test tomorrow, and you wanted to go to bed early.' I still don't know why she said that back then; I never said I wanted that.

She turned to Sirius. 'She's a real nerd.' She laughed loudly, but I didn't understand what was so funny. 'You know, once when she didn't get enough sleep before a test, she vomited on her exam paper! That's why she had to retake the test under difficult conditions. She was embarrassed for weeks.'

Why was she telling him that? I was still ashamed.

Sirius grinned at me even wider. 'Then I won't stop you, little Whisky. You can go to sleep before you vomit again tomorrow.' He laughed, and she laughed with him. I eventually left without her; she had probably forgotten that she came for me, after all.

"I just remembered your first encounter with Sirius." My first encounter with him.

She smiled. "Yes, I remember it well too. We clicked right away." While I couldn't get a word out.

"That's why I'm shocked that he's resisting reconciliation now! We were such a beautiful couple!"

Yes, they were. Better than I could ever have been with him.

"He'll surely come to you soon and listen to you," I reassured her.

She smiled at me even more brightly. "Thanks, Whisky, you're the best!"

The bell rang. The next class was about to start.

"I'll head to Potions now. See you later." She quickly gathered her things and was about to leave, but then she turned around.

"Wait, Whisky, I have a small favor to ask. Could you help me with the Defense Against the Dark Arts homework? I got detention with Slughorn and don't have time to do it anymore."

I nodded to her as she turned away.

"Thanks!" she called out as she rushed to the next class.

Sometimes it felt like she couldn't wait to get away from me.

~

I had Transfiguration class with Professor McGonagall. During these classes, the Marauders, including Sirius, were also present. I sat next to James, who, for reasons I won't mention, was seated away from Sirius.

At first, I thought maybe he would hate me because of the whole Seraph and Sirius situation, but he was surprisingly nice to me. He always worked with me in partner activities and didn't leave me to do everything alone.

Today, he smiled at me as we started working. "Okay, my favorite Hufflepuff, what do you think today?"

"Well, I think we need to transform the chair into a crocodile," I replied sarcastically. He laughed at that.

"No, that's not what I meant. I wanted to ask if you're coming to the party tonight?"

Party? Usually, Seraph would tell me about it, but this time, she hadn't mentioned a word.

"Actually, I had plans for tonight…" "Oh, come on, you have to come! Something big is going to happen at the party tonight, believe me. You need to see it!" he boasted. I chuckled at that.

"I'll ask Seraph," I said finally. He looked at me strangely.

"Why do you have to ask her? That self absorbed Slytherin already knows about the party and will be there; we already know that."

We. He wasn't just talking about himself; everyone knew she would be at the party. Sirius knew she would be at the party. Everyone except me.

"Don't talk about her like that. She's very nice, you know?" I defended her. Yes, she was nothing but nice to me. She was the first friend I found here.

But he just laughed. "Nice? Come on, 'Whisky,' she uses everyone around her! Sirius has seen it up close, and I'm sure you know it too."

"I told you to stop talking about her like that!" I snapped at him. He looked surprised, but he didn't say anything more. I hated that his words were making me doubt myself. Seraph was my best friend. If I couldn't trust her, then who could I trust?

James cleared his throat shortly after. "Will you still come? We'd love to have you there."

We.

"I'll consider it. I would like to come too." I finally said.

He gave me another smile, and we continued working.

~

"Why didn't you tell me about the party?" Why did you tell me you had detention when you were actually going to a party?

Seraph looked surprised. "Well, the last time at one of the parties, you left early. I thought you would feel uncomfortable."

I left early because you and Sirius were making fun of me. Because you ruined any chance I might have had with him.

"I'd like to go with you."

She looked briefly disappointed. Almost angry that I said that. But then she smiled again. "If you want to. Let's go together tonight."

Relief washed over me. That was Seraph, my friend. Why was I thinking all these things about her? Do you really don't know?

~

"Do you really want to wear that? I mean, I don't mind, it just looks a bit weird. It accentuates that you've gained weight, don't you think?" Seraph explained without stopping.

I suddenly felt uncomfortable. I had wanted to wear a dress, but now all I saw was myself looking like a duck in it.

"It somehow doesn't suit you, right? I mean, there are other things that look better on you! Like…" she paused painfully long.

Finally, she just said, "Forget it." I ended up just putting on a big sweater and loosely fitting pants.

"What do you think of this?" Seraph came out of the bathroom with a beautiful dress. It accentuated all her curves, and the color suited her black hair and blue eyes perfectly.

I smiled at her, even though something inside me tightened. "You look great."

She smiled back at me. "Could you help me with the makeup?"

Of course, I helped her.

She didn't even ask if I wanted to wear makeup too. Maybe it wouldn't help me anyway.

"So! Finally done," Seraph said, looking into the mirror once more. "It's not my best work, but whatever."

She looked like a goddess next to me. She was perfect, oh so perfect. How much I wished…

No, I'm being unreasonable.

She turned to me and smiled. "Shall we go then?"

She didn't even think that maybe I'd get ready too. I have to follow her lead.

I nodded and smiled. "Sure. You look wonderful."

She laughed. "Be careful not to fall in love with me!"

I forced myself to laugh along with her.

No worries, that won't happen anytime soon.

Then we went to the party.

~~

It was loud. Many people were there, pushing and squeezing together. Seraph seemed to thrive in this environment. She just rushed into the crowd without waiting for me.

But I was used to it, and I managed to keep up with her anyway.

She danced on the dance floor, laughing and singing along with the others. She danced with the people there, and the lights illuminated them all perfectly. She moved through the sea of lights like the sun amidst the planets.

I didn't even bother trying to dance; I knew I was terrible at it. Seraph moved so naturally, while I just felt awkward.

So I stood outside the dance floor and watched her. Without her, I felt somewhat lost. Although I actually liked being here, without her, everything felt so new. She was always the one pulling me along everywhere. Without her, I was on my own.

I shook my head. I wanted to be here! So I should make the most of it.

I sat at the bar where I had a good view of the dance floor. That way, Seraph could easily find me too. I ordered a drink and looked around. There were really a lot of people there, almost too many for my taste, but it was still okay.

"Hey, it's good to see you here," I heard the voice I never expected would talk to me.

Sirius sat next to me as if I were a close acquaintance, and it was the most natural thing in the world.

I glanced at him briefly, then looked away. "I think you've got the wrong person."

I felt his gaze on me, and his voice sounded amused. "Why do you think I'm in the wrong place?"

I gave in and looked at him. "Do you know who I am?"

He laughed and stared at me for a while. When I looked at him inquiringly, his smile disappeared, and he looked puzzled. "Damn, you're serious. 'Whisky' , did you forget? We talked last Christmas. Besides, we have many classes together, and my friends and I literally invited you. You're not as invisible as you think," he said, looking bewildered.

His words overwhelmed me. I always thought I went unnoticed when Seraph was in the same room. Everyone immediately talked to her. There was nothing wrong with that, when she was seraph and i were me.

Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable under Sirius' gaze. If he knew who I was, why was he talking to me? Did he want to ask about Seraph?

Yes, that must be it. He wants to ask me how to get along better with Seraph.

"Hey, are you still there?" he suddenly asked. I nodded briefly and took a sip of my drink.

I stared straight ahead. I couldn't meet his gaze again. There was something intense in his eyes, and it made me nervous.

"Do you like it here?" he continued undeterred. Despite me not contributing much to the conversation, he was making an effort.

"Yes, it's pleasant," I replied, wanting to say more, but only thoughts about Seraph came to mind, and I didn't want to mention her first to him.

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm glad. We put in a lot of effort. Today is meant to be perfect."

I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by that. Was he finally going to reconcile with her?

"Sirius!!!" I heard her shout. She ran towards us, no, towards him, trying to hug him, but he dodged her. Eventually he couldn't dodge her longer and she clung on him like a koala bear.

Speak of the devil.

"Seraphine, could you please let go of me?" Sirius' eyes were narrowed as he looked at Seraph, who was pouting.

"Full name? What happened to Sera? You're so cold, Siri!" she said but eventually let him go.

Sirius rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I wonder where that comes from."

She just shook her head in response. "Come on, Sirius, you can stop pretending to hate me. You know it was nothing serious with him!"

He snorted and wrinkled his nose. "I know it wasn't serious. You were making out with three other guys that week, and those are just the ones I know of."

She did what??

Seraph glanced briefly at me, as if she just noticed I was there, then looked back at Sirius. "You broke my heart! You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun!"

"I don't know how much 'fun' you've had during our relationship, and honestly, I don't want to know." Sirius finally said, then he turned to me.

"Where were we? Oh yes, preparing for the party! Yes, we had a lot of fun, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Have you danced yet?"

Before I could answer, Seraph spoke for me. "Oh, please, Whisky and dancing? Come on, stop pretending you're actually interested in her; it won't make me jealous!"

He didn't even turn around; he just looked into my eyes. "Did I talk to you, Seraphine? No, I didn't. And unlike you, I don't talk to people just to use them, so shut up!"

I felt out of place and wanted to leave when he asked again, "Have you danced yet?"

After Seraph's words, I felt embarrassed to shake my head, but saying it out loud would only make it more awkward.

He smiled gently, as if Seraph wasn't standing angry behind him. "Would you like to dance with me?"

He extended his hand towards me, and I could hear Seraph sharply inhale. "Sirius, you're acting ridiculous, don't you realize? I mean, why are you asking her when I'm right here-"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I REALLY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU??" he angrily yelled at her.

She fell silent after that. I saw something glimmer in her eyes, and I immediately felt guilty.

"I hate you!" she shouted before rushing off to the restroom.

He sighed, almost relieved, and turned back to me. "Would you?" he asked, with that smile again. And there came my problem. I wanted to. And it felt like I was the worst person in the world for it.

Tears welled up in me as I thought of Seraph, probably crying her eyes out.

Sirius' gaze was still focused on me, but I had already made up my mind.

"Sorry, I have to go through, can you move aside?" I asked him without looking at him.

I could feel his disappointment as he stepped aside and let me go after Seraph.

I quickly ran after her to the girls' restroom, so I wouldn't change my mind.

~

Inside, it smelled, and the air was stuffy.

Seraph stood in front of the mirror, reapplying her lipstick. She didn't turn to look at me and just kept going. "There you are. I thought I had lost my best friend to that wannabe Casanova."

She wasn't crying. She was fine. "I thought you were -" I started, but she just laughed.

"Those crocodile tears I pulled out? They were just for show."

She inspected her eyes and sighed in annoyance. "But now I have to redo my eyeliner! Well, hopefully, he feels guilty now and comes begging for my forgiveness!"

"I thought you weren't feeling well. I thought you needed my help!" I was bewildered. Was all that just for show?

She didn't even look at me. "Come on, Whisky, it's not a big deal. I'm just trying to get back together with my ex-boyfriend; after all, he broke my heart!"

She now did her other eye. "And he's just as terrible. I mean, asking you to dance in front of me? He's trying to use you against me, that bastard! You should be much more upset about it!"

"I don't think -"

She burst out laughing. "Please, Whisky, as if he ever really wants to have anything to do with you! He was a jerk to you from the moment we first met; you just don't interest him!"

That hurt. Even though I should already know that. But hearing it from her hurt more than it should. Tears welled up in me, and I tried to turn away so she wouldn't notice, but she already did.

She sighed loudly and finally turned around. "Whisky, please don't cry again. I don't mean it in a mean way; I'm just being realistic."

I nodded vigorously, so she would stop talking and I could calm down. But then, a sob escaped me.

She came from behind me and hugged me. "I just want to protect you. He will only take advantage of you. I don't want to see you hurt, especially not because of him. Isn't one broken heart because of Sirius enough?"

I nodded and hugged her back. After a while, she gently pushed me. "Come on, that's enough crying now; you'll ruin my dress."

I quickly let go of her and went to the sink to wash my face.

Then she took my arm. "Come on, we can leave. By now, he should feel guilty enough."

I just nodded and followed her, as always.

~~

Seraph walked with her head held high through the crowd, ignoring the people around her. She tried to act as hurt as possible, to make it 'not so easy for Sirius' – her words, not mine.

I tried to hide behind her and shrink myself. I looked down and followed her fast steps.

It was a weird situation that I couldn't handle. I hoped Sirius wouldn't approach me again.

Seraph headed for the bar, but on the exact opposite side from where we were before.

"I really need a drink," she whispered to me. I just nodded and followed her to the bar.

Instead of the guy who was serving drinks before, James and Peter were there now, apparently discussing something. Peter looked concerned, but James was just smiling and shaking his head.

Seraph went to the bar and raised her hand, demanding attention. "Bartender!" she called as if they were her slaves. Although she knew James and Peter well as they were friends with Sirius, she didn't let it show.

James came over to us, while Peter looked worried in our direction. I wondered what that was supposed to mean.

"What can I get for our snake?" James asked with a sugary voice and a fake smile.

Seraph didn't even flinch. "Your humor is still in the basement, Potter."

"I think it's yours that's in the basement, considering you took that as a joke. I was quite serious." he retorted.

Seraph looked challengingly into his eyes. "I just want a simple lemonade, but if that's too difficult for your little brain, you can also make me a cocktail, as you seem to know them by heart with how much you drink!" With that, she turned around and went to the dance floor.

I probably had to bring her the drink.

James grumbled. "Inflated bit-, what do you want, Huffle?" he asked me finally.

I pointed to the first drink on the menu and kept an eye out for her, so I wouldn't lose her.

Seraph danced energetically with the crowd. She laughed with a few Slytherin girls who were her roommates.

It makes me sad that we are in different houses, but on the other hand, I'm glad that we are still good friends.

Yet, an uneasy feeling arises within me when she laughs with these girls. It always feels like they are looking down on me.

"Here are your drinks." James placed two drinks on the counter. One was a lemonade, the other a fancy fruit and sugar drink that I didn't recognize. Oh God.

"Thanks." I said and waved to seraph to come and get her drink. Normally, I would go to her, but it wouldn't be a good idea to run around with my drink.

Seraph was engrossed in her conversation with them, so she didn't notice me. Then, one of the girls smiled at me, but it wasn't a friendly smile. She laughed and said something to seraph. She laughed in response and slowly came over to me.

"She always leaves you alone," I heard James' voice behind me. I ignored him and smiled at seraph, handing her the drink.

She looked at my drink for a long moment. Then she looked at me skeptically. "Do you really want to drink that? It has a lot of sugar and calories, and you already had a piece of cake today. So it's your decision. But I'd trade with you; the lemonade has not that much sugar in it."

My stomach suddenly felt strange, and I felt even more uncomfortable in my skin.

I just nodded and handed her my drink, while she gave me hers.

"Thanks," I said before she took a big sip from my drink, no, from her drink.

"No problem, I just want to help you," she said finally. "I'll go over to Cassie and Phina for a moment, okay?" she said before going to the other girls.

I felt terribly abandoned. And I know it's childish, but it hurt that she didn't even ask if I wanted to come too.

I finished my lemonade and turned to the bar.

But then, I saw James' pale face.

And then, everyone around me fell silent.

I looked around, and all eyes were on me. Then I heard laughter around me and saw amused looks.

The laughter grew louder until everyone was laughing.

"Hey, are you sure you're not in Slytherin?" a boy asked with a smile before bursting into loud laughter.

I looked at my reflection in the glasses, which reflected my new neon green hair.

I slowly went to the restroom, until I eventually ran away. I swung the door to the restroom open and suddenly got drenched in water.

A bucket full of water had fell on me, from on the door and the laughter behind me grew louder.

I quickly closed the door behind me to muffle the laughter. I locked myself in the restroom and stared at my neon green hair, which hadn't lost any intensity despite the water.

Tears welled up in me as I looked at my ugly appearance, and I hoped seraph would come soon.

I waited.

And waited.

But she didn't come to check on me.

After a while that felt incredibly long, I heard footsteps going into one of the other restroom stalls. I tried to be as quiet as possible, suppressing my sobbing and breathing softly.

I heard the flush and footsteps going to the sink.

"Hey, do you need help?" The female voice was unfamiliar. At first, I thought she might be talking to someone else, but then she came to my stall.

"It's not as bad as you think, really. It actually looks pretty." she said.

"Yeah, sure. I have eyes, I know how bad it looks, you know?" I whispered back. I was very quiet, but she seemed to have heard me.

"I'm serious. Really."

There was silence. "Aren't you going to come out?" the girl asked.

"No." I whispered, and at the end, it turned into a sob.

"I'm Marlene. What's your name?"

She was kind to me, but I wasn't really in a condition to answer properly. As her footsteps moved away slightly, panic surged within me.

"I'm (y/n)." I finally said in a firmer voice.

"Okay, (y/n), you can always come to me and my friends if someone bothers you, okay?" Her voice turned serious, and it held a promise.

"Okay." I replied. "Thank you."

I could hear the smile in her voice. "Always happy to help."

Then she left.

~

I was alone for a long time. I had already given up hope that my friend would come and check on me, so I hid, hoping that eventually, there would be no one left outside.

But eventually, I heard voices approaching the restroom. They stood outside the girls' restroom door and seemed to be arguing. And then, I recognized them.

"Omg, I just don't understand you! Your best friend is in there, and you're out here laughing as if nothing happened!" Sirius scolded my friend.

Seraph just groaned annoyed. "And here I thought you were following me to apologize."

Sirius took a sharp breath. "Are you even listening to me? (Y/n) was just humiliated in front of everyone, why don't you go in and see her?"

Seraph's voice grew louder. "Just because something stupid happened to her, and she's hiding in the restroom, doesn't mean I should let it ruin my fun too. Fuck, if we hadn't swapped drinks on a whim, I'd have the green hair, right? I can be thankful for that; that would've been the worst!"

Tears welled up in me again.

Sirius' voice also grew louder. "Is it always just about you? Wait, I know it is, I've been with you long enough. You're one of the most selfish and narcissistic people I know! There's your reason why I don't want anything to do with you!"

Seraph laughed loudly in response. "Now I'm the bad one? Oh please, Sirius, don't make a fool of yourself! I think we both know why her hair is now this disgusting green. You and your friends wanted to dye my hair because you know how much I care about it!"

Her voice grew slightly softer. "Your actions have consequences, Sirius. You know you're to blame for her crying her eyes out in there."

Then it was silent. I heard my breath and my heart beating for a while. Than there was a loud clapping sound. It was sounding like a slap.

"Are you going to check on her now?" Sirius said much calmer than before. Seraph had slapped him.

"You know what, Sirius? Fuck you, seriously! Instead of apologizing to me for this prank, I'm now supposed to clean up your mess!" Seraph yelled at him.

"She has the green hair, not you. She's your friend; I don't think she wants to see me. Besides, it's the girls' restroom." Sirius said, almost accusatory.

"That's your problem. I don't have to cling to my friends all the time like a parasite; I'm allowed to have some fun too!" Then I heard her running away.

She didn't have fun with me? Was I just a clingy parasite to her?

I heard Sirius sigh. Then I heard his footsteps fading away, and I had never felt so alone.

I stayed in the girls' restroom for a long time. I was ashamed to come out. Eventually, when I couldn't hear anyone anymore, I sneaked away in the shadows of the darkness, heading to the Hufflepuff common room.

From there, I went to my shared room with other girls. They were already asleep; I must have spent quite a long time in the restroom. My eyes burned from all the tears that had been shed, and my hair seemed to glow in the darkness.

I tiptoed into my bed and pulled the blanket over my head to hide my hair. I was afraid to face the school. But now it was the weekend. I could continue hiding here for a while.

~~

"(y/n)? Are you there?" Lydia, one of my roommates, asked. She seemed nice, but since I was always with Seraph, we had never really talked. Until now.

"Yes?" I whispered back. I was afraid she might see my ugliness, afraid she would laugh at me too.

"Don't you want to have breakfast?" Her voice was gentle, with a hint of concern.

"No, I'm not really hungry," I replied, not moving an inch under my blanket.

"Okay, we'll go then."

"Mhm…" I hummed and waited until everyone had left. Then, I slowly got up and went to the small bathroom. I locked the door and looked in the mirror.

Unchanged.

If my tears hadn't run out from last night, I would have burst into tears again.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then I stepped into the shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed my hair, but the color wouldn't fade away.

I spent a lot of time in the shower. At some point, I just let the water pour down on me, drowning my thoughts. My skin turned red, and I sank to the shower floor.

I was simply exhausted.

Eventually, I turned off the water and just sat there, too exhausted and scared to come out.

Knocking woke me from my slumber. I had fallen asleep on the floor.

"(y/n)? Are you in there?"

I tried to answer, but my voice wouldn't obey me. I layed helplessly on the floor, attempting to say something, but nothing came out.

"(y/n)? Hey, what's wrong?"

I tried to sit up, but I felt dizzy. I leaned against the wall and finally managed to say something. "Nothing, I'm fine."

There was a brief silence. "Have you eaten anything?"

"Yes," I lied, not wanting her to worry unnecessarily.

"But you weren't at dinner. Black asked about you," she said.

Dinner? How long had I been lying here on the floor? Sirius asked about me?

"I'll come out soon," I said, attempting to get up. But suddenly everything spun, and my stomach churned. I looked down at the sink, and before I realized what was happening, I vomited.

"OMG, ARE YOU VOMITING? DON'T SAY YOU'RE FINE!" Lydia suddenly shouted from outside. I vomited again, and in the end, my legs gave out. I collapsed under the sink, new tears streaming down my face.

"(Y/N), LET ME IN!" Lydia continued to scream. She was panicking.

"Don't worry. It's over," I whispered weakly. "I'm okay now, I just felt nauseous."

"Are you sure?" Lydia asked in a calmer but still concerned tone.

"Yes, I'll be out soon."

I waited until they were asleep, then I tiptoed to my bed in the darkness. Once again, I hid under my blanket, hoping I would never be seen again.

~~

When I woke up again, it was early. The others were still asleep. I didn't move and just waited to fall asleep again. I could hardly feel my legs, and my stomach churned.

Under the blanket, it was stifling, and after a while, breathing became painful. But I didn't want to uncover myself because then my hair would be visible.

I was scared. I could only hide today. Tomorrow, at the latest, I had to be there for the first class. The thought sent a cold shiver down my spine.

Would Seraph help me? No, actually, I didn't want to think about her. It would only remind me of her words in front of the bathroom. Just like Sirius and his friends.

Eventually, I gave up and sneaked into the bathroom. There was no trace of what happened yesterday. I washed my face and brushed my teeth again, looking into the mirror.

No matter how I looked at myself, the neon green hair always caught my eye. This color simply didn't suit me and didn't look good on me. Seraph would definitely rock it.

"I think we both know why her hair is now this disgusting green. You and your friends wanted to dye my hair because you know how much I care about it!"

But she wouldn't want to. And she doesn't have to.

I crept back into my bed and pulled the blanket over my head again. I had fresh oxygen now. Slowly but surely, I fell asleep again.

I was awakened by the movements of the others. They were getting ready for their weekend. I wished so much to be someone else and just enjoy my weekend. But with my hair, I wouldn't go anywhere.

"(y/n)? Are you still alive?" Maya asked ironically. I had never spoken to her, just like Lydia. "Yes, don't worry," I whispered back.

"Do you want to have breakfast with us today?" Maya asked. I had never had breakfast with them. We only saw each other in the room.

"Nice of you, but I'm not hungry." I felt sick and felt like a corpse.

"Hey, you didn't have breakfast yesterday either. Are you sure you don't want anything today?" Maya asked, and I answered with a soft yes.

She was silent for a while. But then she said in a new serious tone, "But you'll come with us tomorrow! And you will have breakfast, okay?"

I wanted to trust her, but I was so afraid that the same thing could happen as at the party. That they would all laugh at me. Still, I gave her my agreement and waited until they were out.

Then I slowly got out of my bed and got dressed. At first, I wanted to read, but the letters blurred before my eyes, and my head hurt terribly.

I locked myself in the bathroom again so that no one could see me when they came into our room. The others were nice, but I just didn't want anyone to see me.

I combed my hair, hoping that they would lose some color, but then I gave up. There was nothing to be done; my hair was green. I had to accept it.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I became as quiet as possible, so no one would think someone was inside. The others weren't here, so the person would leave soon. It definitely wasn't Seraph.

"Whisky? Hey, I come in slowly, okay?"

Sirius. Of all the people here, Sirius was here to check on me.

He had done it. He and his friends. James, whom I trusted. Whom I worked with. Sirius, who wanted to defend me in front of Seraph, had humiliated me in front of everyone. And now he wanted to check on me? It had to be a bad joke.

"Are you in the bathroom? Am I disturbing?" he asked, sounding almost nervous.

"Yes." I just wanted him to go away.

He laughed nervously. "I'll wait here in the room for you, okay?"

NO, NO, NO! Anything but that!

"How did you even get in here?" I finally asked to get him to leave. But he answered quite normally and didn't seem to be ashamed of being in a girls' room.

"Your roommates gave me the password, and coming to the girls' sleeping quarters was no problem."

I fell silent and sat back down on the bathroom floor. If I stayed in here long enough, he would eventually leave and give up.

After a while of silence, he said something again. "Hey, is everything okay with you? What are you doing in there for so long?"

Since I had no answer to the second question, I just ignored it. "I'm fine," I said simply, hoping it would be enough.

He sighed. Apparently, it wasn't enough. "Whisky, I can understand that you don't want to see me, but I've been worried. You didn't even eat yesterday, and Lydia said you vomited."

"Don't call me that."

His voice changed from concerned to surprised. "What?"

"Don't call me Whisky!" I said louder. I couldn't stand hearing that nickname right now, especially from him.

There was silence for a while, but then Sirius laughed softly. "Okay, darling, if that's what you want. But actually, I'm here to bring you some food."

What?

"I'm not hungry," I said softly. I heard him sigh in response.

"Darling, you didn't eat yesterday; you have to eat something. Come out, please." His voice sounded almost pleading. Something in me weakened at that tone, and the anger towards him faded away.

But not the shame.

"You can leave it outside the door, and I'll eat it later," I said to make a compromise.

"But then I won't know if you really ate it!" he said now, desperation in his voice.

"I promise you I'll eat it," I said then. I could only hope that my word was enough for him.

"But I also wanted to check on you, see how you're doing," his voice became softer.

"I already said I'm fine."

Now his voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. "But I actually wanted to see you."

The anger from before suddenly rushed back, and I felt like some special animal at the zoo. "Sirius, if you came here to make fun of me, you can leave quickly," I said, my voice cold.

"No, I don't mean it that way. I didn't come to see your hair but to see you. Please, come out. Please!" Now he was really pleading.

I was afraid to meet his gaze, afraid that he had to hold back his laughter.

But something in me gave in, and my trembling legs moved towards the door. Slowly, I unlocked it. Then I waited for a moment to catch my breath before pressing down the door handle.

Sirius was sitting on my bed, looking down at the floor. I slowly walked towards him. Then I stopped and didn't know what to do next.

Then he looked up at me, meeting my eyes with that concern, but also with something I couldn't decipher. I had never seen such a look before.

"Come, darling, have something to eat," he whispered to me, pointing to the spot next to him, where he had brought some food.

I sat down slowly next to him, keeping a visible distance. Then I took the cutlery he had brought and tried to focus on the food. But it was difficult with Sirius Black sitting next to you, looking at you with that expression.

I took a bite and chewed. Then I swallowed, and for a moment, everything was fine. The next moment, I rushed to the bathroom and vomited.

"Damn it, darling, you look terrible! Why didn't you say anything? You need to go to the infirmary!" Sirius stood behind me, pulling my hair out of the way. He stroked my back and continued whispering to me. "Come on, I'll take you there."

Then everything went black.

~~

I saw white. The ceiling was white and seemed so far away. I wasn't in my bed. I was in the infirmary. Alone.

I slowly sat up, which demanded a lot of energy from me. I was separated from the others by a curtain around my bed, which relieved me.

But why was I here? What happened? What time was it?

I looked at the small nightstand next to me, where a little bouquet of flowers lay. There was a card attached to it.

'I don't know if you want to see me, but I hope you get better very soon! And take better care of yourself!

Sirius.'

The card was small but nice, and somehow it meant a lot to me.

Suddenly, the curtain was pulled aside, and Madam Pomfrey stood in front of me. She looked at me critically and shook her head. "Well, at least you're awake. But I've never seen anything like this! What were you thinking?"

"What?" I was confused. I didn't purposely faint; I couldn't control that.

"Well, not eating anything and drinking so little! Your circulation, especially your stomach, completely collapsed, which led to vomiting and fainting. Now your stomach is irritated, and you'll have to eat soup for a while." She placed some things on my nightstand, probably tablets.

"And I've never seen Sirius so panicked, and I see him here often. About every month to be exact, but this is different. Don't scare your boyfriend like that!"

I felt heat rising inside me and tried to suppress it. That was wrong; he was seraph's ex. But hadn't I already liked him before?

"I'm not his… I mean, he's not my-"

She furrowed her brow. "Not? He wouldn't leave your side and literally carried you in here. I thought you two were… well, maybe that will happen later. For now, you should focus on your health. You should've done that a long time ago!"

I only vaguely registered what she said. Sirius brought me here? Carried me here? THROUGH THE WHOLE CASTLE??

And I thought my hair would make me stand out, but now everything is ruined. I could already smell the rumors and suddenly had a terrible fear of leaving here. I used to never stand out next to seraph. But now? Now, I had attention, only the bad kind.

"What time is it?" I asked to distract myself.

"It's 6 PM on Monday. I'll bring you your dinner, and you'll eat it, young lady! You won't leave here until the day after tomorrow when your circulation is fully recovered." She said with a threatening tone. I nodded and started eating. I had slept for almost an entire day, and yet, I was still tired.

Somehow, I managed to finish the soup and almost immediately fell asleep again.

~~

I woke up to footsteps. Steps coming towards my bed. I became more nervous as they got closer. Then the curtains were pulled aside, and Seraph stood in front of me.

When her gaze met mine, she frowned. Her eyes fell on my hair, and I felt terribly small. Then she looked into my eyes. Her gaze was cold. No smile, no encouragement.

"Well, well, our little attention seeker is here." She spat the words out and looked at me as if I had committed the greatest crime.

"What do you mean?" I asked, even though I knew it would make her angry. But I couldn't apologize for something I didn't know.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Oh, please, all this playing the victim is disgusting. All for the attention of a boy! And my ex, no less! You're truly a snake!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend to be innocent! You're a little parasite who always clings to others and seeks their attention! I'm sick of you! And you wonder why I didn't tell you about the party? Simply because I'm ashamed of you! I hate being seen with you, and yet I put up with it! And how do you thank me? You try to go after my boyfriend! I don't regret giving you that potion! At least with that hair, there's something special about you, apart from your best friend!"

Every word stabbed my heart and tore it apart a little more. Every word seemed to drive her further into a rage. "You purposely gave me the potion drink? You knew about the prank?" I whispered with tears in my eyes.

"Well…" She laughed briefly. "It wasn't hard to figure out that something was in the drink. And I thought, why not let you try it. Don't worry; you weren't a bigger laughingstock than usual."

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but I never tried to take Sirius away from you or whatever you think!" I couldn't believe what was happening here.

"Oh, don't worry, I know you wouldn't have a chance with him anyway. He's only with you because he feels guilty and wants to annoy me. But we both know he's not interested in you." She mocked me.

"What's your problem?" I finally asked. "What have I done to you?"

She stomped aggressively. Then she looked into my eyes and came to my bed. Before she could say anything, her gaze fell on the flowers. I wanted to put them away, but she already grabbed the card.

"You've always attached yourself to me and hoped to get something from me. You waited until you could steal everything from me!" And then she ran away.

I stared after her and cried. I cried for a long time. Even though I knew none of the things she said were true, a part of me believed her. I had always been with her; maybe I really was too much. Perhaps I deserved all of this. Maybe I really was a snake.

"Love?"

Sirius.

I tried to wipe away my tears as quickly as possible and compose myself.

"I heard you woke up yesterday. Couldn't you have done that when I was here? I waited here yesterday until evening."

He was at my bedside now. "You really scared me."

He sat on the chair next to my nightstand, right beside me. I looked away so he wouldn't see my tear-streaked face.

"You waited for me to wake up?" It didn't feel right, not after the conversation with Seraph.

"Yes, of course. I was worried." Then there was silence. Seraph hadn't been worried. Seraph didn't even ask if I was feeling better.

"Wouldn't you have wanted me here when you woke up?" he asked, his voice suddenly vulnerable.

"What? Of course, I would have wanted you here?!" I said nervously.

He chuckled softly. "Are you saying you want me here with you?" His voice was playful.

I blushed. "What do you want from me?" I asked. I didn't know how to handle Sirius. I just didn't know what he wanted from me.

"Just the truth, darling, just the truth. Now tell me," he turned my face to him so he could look at me. "why were you crying?"

His hand remained on my cheek. "It's stupid." I whispered, trying to change the subject. But he shook his head. "It's not stupid if it made you cry. Please be honest with me, love. What hurt you so much?"

I had to look away to avoid his gaze. "Seraph was just here. She said some things, and I…" I didn't know why I was telling him this; I barely knew him. But there was something about Sirius that made me open up to him.

"What kind of crap did she spew this time?" Sirius's voice became tense and almost aggressive.

I looked into his eyes. Despite his tone, they were warm, soft, and kind. Yet, because of him, I had these hair now. Because of him, I was humiliated in front of everyone. Seraph's words echoed in my head. What if he was only here to make her angry?

"It's nothing important. But she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore." I said finally, looking away.

"She doesn't want anything to do with you? She should be grateful you put up with her for so long!" He said, annoyed. "Probably because of me, right? Because I brought you here yesterday?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes. "She thinks that…" I couldn't say it, but I didn't have to.

"I know what she thought."

We sat there in silence, and I felt terrible. What was I without Seraph? She had always been my friend, always decided what I should do.

But part of me was angry. Angry that she was playing with me like this. Angry that I could let myself be so influenced by her.

"Would it bother you?" Sirius suddenly asked.

"What?" I asked back.

He looked into my eyes. "If she thought we were together?"

My heart started racing, and I tried to look away, but I couldn't. His eyes seemed to hypnotize me.

"If the whole school thought there was something between us, would you be ashamed?" he continued.

"I don't know-" I was speechless; how could I answer that?

He laughed softly. "Do you not want to make Seraph really angry?"

Not really. But when I realized what he was talking about, my heart

continued to weaken.

"We can give her ego a little blow," he said with that irresistible Sirius Black smile.

"Sirius, I don't know…"

"Besides, it would take the focus off the prank, you know?" he said softly. His enthusiasm suddenly wavered. "And if it's too much for you, we can always stop! Let's just pretend to be together for 1-2 months or something."

1-2 months with him? Actually, I wanted to spend more time with him, get to know him. But doing this would only make Seraph angry. Seraph would think she was right.

In a moment of weakness, I nodded. "Okay."

He smiled at me. "Then starting tomorrow, we'll be a couple, darling."

[lightseoul]

changes

synopsis. it's 11 PM, and you're missing him.

cw. fem!reader, grad student!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (~26 yrs old), mentions of alcohol

word count. 1.0k words

“Long day at uni?”

You look up from the glass of beer you’re mindlessly staring at to Uraraka, who’s seated at the booth across from you, a worried expression plastered on her face.

You heave a sigh. “You know the works. Exams, presentations,” you cringe, “I got called for oral recitation.”

At that, Uraraka winces. “Yeesh.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you say, almost defensively. You take a swig of your beverage before continuing. “I stuttered a bit, but I was able to answer the question.”

“That’s our girl.”

You smile, feeling warm from the praise.

A silence falls over you before Uraraka speaks up again.

“Is there any reason why you’re drinking at,” she checks her watch, “11:30 on a Tuesday night?”

Your smile falters before you could school it into a playful pout.

“What, am I not allowed to want to spend time with one of my best friends?”

At the mention of the title, Uraraka’s expression softens from a questioning look to that of endearment.

“Of course, you are. It’s just that,” she hesitates, and you brace yourself for what’s to come next.

“It’s not like you to do this, is all.”

You could only hum in response, breaking eye contact.

You go back to tracing the beads of condensation falling down the perimeters of the glass.

The other bar-goers around you are loud in their own conversations.

“...How long has it been since?”

You don’t need to think twice to know what she’s referring to.

Normally, you’d feign ignorance and pretend you absolutely had no idea what the other person is asking about.

But this is Uraraka, one of your closest friends from when you worked on a mission together back when you were still early 20-somethings, and the truth just comes spilling out before you could give it a second thought.

“One month, two weeks, six days.”

You chance a peek at Uraraka’s face, and you almost instantly regret it. She’s sporting an amused look, probably to assuage the embarrassment you’re feeling, but you could spot the hints of pity that lace her expression.

Embarrassment still manages to swell in your stomach.

“Do you miss him?”

You snort.

“If I answer that, you’re gonna think I’m a loser.”

“No, I won’t!” she answers immediately, voice raised. Wary of how loud she just got, she tones it back down before proceeding.

“It’s only natural that you miss him, Y/N. You dated for quite a while.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, but your voice still ends up garbled. “Yeah.”

Without much thought, your eyes drift to your phone, which sits between the two of you on the table. Uraraka follows your gaze, and from the corner of your eye, you see her twitch in panic when she realizes what you’re looking at.

“Uh—I don’t think you should, Y/N.” She sounds hesitant. “You’re tipsy—you’re not thinking straight.”

You frown, looking down at your hands wrapped around the almost-finished beer. You can feel the tears welling in your eyes.

“...You might regret it tomorrow.”

You’d like to think you knew what you were getting yourself into when you said yes to being Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki’s girlfriend three years ago.

Going into it, you knew it was going to be far from easy, but you told yourself you could weather it.

The constant absence, the missed dates, the pestering paparazzi—all of it.

But the theoretical ended up being different from the real thing.

“I feel like I’m dating a ghost, Katsuki. You’re barely around, and I rarely get to spend time with you. What’s the point of being in this relationship when I never get to be with my boyfriend?”

You clench your eyes closed at the memory, willing it to go away. Now sprawled on top of your bed after Uraraka drove you home at exactly midnight (“I have the morning shift tomorrow,” she reasoned), you hold your phone close to your chest, debating whether or not to make the damned call.

You haven’t spoken to him since.

If this radio silence has been unintentional or is by design, you don’t know—but you do know one thing.

That it hurt.

And it’s silly, really, because you’re the one who called it off.

Sighing for the nth time that night, you prop your phone on your chest, thumbing the password before clicking your contacts and scrolling through your Favorites.

You didn’t have the heart to delete his number.

You still don’t, apparently.

“Hello?”

Your breath hitches in your throat.

You’re too stunned by the fact that he answered that you forget to respond.

“Y/N?”

“I’m–” you clear your throat, “I’m here.”

A few seconds pass before he speaks again.

“You’re drunk,” he says more as a matter of factly than asks. How he’s able to tell you’ve been drinking is beyond you, but you don’t question him.

There are far more important things.

Like, just hearing his voice.

His voice is gruff, probably from sleep, when he asks: “Don’t you have class tomorrow?”

You ignore his question. “What’re you doing up?”

Though, it suddenly dawns on you that you probably woke him up. You mentally slap yourself.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh.”

Your heart is thrumming and your brain is screaming at you to keep your mouth shut, but you press on anyway. “Can I ask why?”

At that, he chuckles, but you can tell there’s no humor in it.

“It’d probably be best for us if you don’t.”

You squeeze your eyes shut.

Try again.

“Do you miss me, Katsuki?”

He sighs in defeat. “Every single fucking day, princess.”

Your gut twists in delight despite yourself.

In your drunken haze, you’re about to tell him that you miss him, too, and that you’re ninety-nine percent sure that you’re still in love with him, when he cuts you off.

“But nothing’s changed since then.”

He sounds exhausted.

“I don’t want to keep on hurting you like I did, Y/N.”’

You brace yourself for the impact.

“...So, goodbye.”

You hear a click, and before you know it, the line is dead.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Not Your Girl [Emily x Reader]

Photo credits: Left and Right (@sugarcoatedvein) Center (@lilacprentiss)

Prompt: When the Non-BAU!reader has something big to tell Emily, they pick the worst way to tell her. 

Pairing: Emily x nonbinary!reader. The reader is AFAB and uses they/them pronouns for most of the story. 

Category: fluff/comfort 

Word Count: 2.9K

Content Warnings: Mentions of bad gym culture, mention of fitness and exercise, a slightly fatphobic comment [directed at Penelope by a gym bro], breakups, light drinking, and swearing. If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: Just some fluffy reader coming out to Emily as nonbinary and them reflecting about the course of their relationship. This is another @imagining-in-the-margins post based on the fabulous January and February writing challenge. This one is from her dialog prompts: “I love every iteration of you.” I just know Emily would support you no matter what. I am glad this isn’t a novel. I love my longer work, but this was a nice change. I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you do enjoy this, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you have a great end of your week. Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

_y/n_ = your name

_l/n_ = your last name

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color

_y/d/h_ = your dominant hand 

_y/j_ = your job 

_y/f/s_ = your favorite show

“Emily, I don’t think I can be your girl anymore.” The look on Prentiss’s face told _y/n_ instantly that they’d phrased that wrong. With Emily being such a chronic overthinker, it was a poor choice of phrase. _y/n_ saw the look of insecurity and maybe sadness play out on Em’s face, and before _y/n_ could say anything, Prentiss asked, “Are you breaking up with me, _y/n? I thought we were doing good/” _y/n_ shook their head no rapidly and said, “Em. I’m not saying that at all, just let me explain.” Em sat back in her kitchen chair, crossed her arms over her chest, and said, “Please do,” _y/n_ took a deep breath. They knew Emily loved them. Had loved them for nearly a year, and the reactions _y/n_ was getting made sense given Emily’s past of being dumped just when a relationship seemed to be working out. However, the defensive wall _y/n_’s partner had so easily thrown up after months of breaking them down now had _y/n_ concerned. What if Emily wouldn’t love them like this? Emily’s hyper-focus on details and consistency was rubbing off on _y/n_and made them question whether or not to share the truth. But in a second, their whole relationship up till that point flashed before _y/n_’s eyes. It had started in the gym. 

It was all thanks to Penelope, who had made a New Year's resolution to move more. Nothing more than that. No weight loss goals, no need for a summer body, just a desire to move because it felt good. Emily was happy to help Garcia out because she had made a bet with Derek in October about the upcoming FBI fitness test in March. Prentiss had overheard Morgan telling another male agent, who was overconfident and under-muscled for the claims he was making, that he was going to beat all of his personal bests in the fitness test. Emily scoffed and said, “Really Derek. You say that every year.” Morgan looked over to Em and replied with a teasing tone, “And I mean it every year. You wanna make a bet on it?” Prentiss knew this was all in good fun, and said, “You’re on. What are the terms?” Derek steepled his hands and replied, “If I don’t get personal best’s next exam, then you can set me up on a blind date. But, the same goes for you. You’ve got to beat all of your personal records, and if you don’t, then I set you up on a blind date.” Emily smiled because this was the exact kind of shenanigans they got into when she was more relaxed between cases. It gave both her and Morgan something to think about outside of work. Prentiss stuck out her, and Derek took it  while saying, “You’re on.” So, when Penelope talked about wanting to move more, Emily recommended the Zumba class she took on Saturday evenings. Penelope was hesitant at first, but when Em described it as “angry dancing,” Garcia got on board quickly. 

Emily hadn’t believed in Zumba either, that was until her pilates class got canceled one day. Zumba was the only class on offer and despite her hesitations, Prentiss went. Prentiss was so happy that she did because the class turned out to be very relaxing and a good workout at the same time. It didn’t hurt that the person next to her was very cute in their _y/f/c_ crop top and long socks. Prentiss started coming back to Zumba more and more, and the young woman was always there just vibing with the music no matter what was going on. Their positivity was infectious. When Penelope joined the class for a session a week later, Emily and the tech genius had a great time. So good a time that they agreed to go to drinks after because what was the point of working out if you couldn’t have some fun as a reward? As the duo passed by the weight room, one of the gym bros waiting for a squat rack to open up looked over at Emily and said, “Hey babe, wanna come over here and spot me? And maybe you should tell Blondie to come back sometime. She might fit in here.” Emily was so mad that the man had commented about her friend, who was happy and healthy, that she just froze. The man laughed at Penelope’s hurt face, but a voice from behind Emily and Garcia wiped the smile off his face real quick as _y/n_ said, “Hey, asshole. Let me tell you something. Muscles don’t fucking mean anything if there’s not a heart underneath all of them. So keep pumping iron, but consider getting a brain and some self-awareness before commenting on someone you don’t know and is a hell of a lot braver than you because she showed up despite having to deal with dickheads like you.” At _y/n_’s comments, both Emily and Penelope looked at _y/n_ with wide, impressed eyes. Emily knew _y/n_ immediately. It was the woman she had been secretly admiring for a month now. The woman’s beauty was amplified as she demonstrated not only energy, but didn't tolerate bad behavior, and standing up for someone she didn’t know. When the guy at the rack moved toward them, particularly toward _y/n_ with a frown on his face. Emily stepped in front of _y/n_ and said with all the authority of an FBI profiler, “Sit down.” The man hesitated. Finally, he moved back to where he was with his head down, muttering under his breath. 

While Em was using her scary dog privileges, _y/n_ pulled Penelope toward the stairs saying, “Don’t listen to that douch bag. You were great in class.” Garcia smiled and said, “Thanks. That was nice of you to say. I’m Penelope Garcia, by the way.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “I’m _y/n_, _l/n_. Nice to meet you, Penelope.” As they started talking, Emily joined them, and Garcia introduced _y/n_ to Prentiss. Pen asked _y/n_ if she wanted to join them for drinks. _y/n_ who hadn’t made many friends since moving to D.C., agreed. As _y/n_ and changed in the dressing room, _y/n_ couldn’t help but look at Emily and admire her strength. _y/n_ had been looking at Emily since she’d joined the class. Unfortunately, _y/n_ was terrible with flirting and asking people out, so the admiration had been one-sided. At least she thought it had been. At the bar, the trio’s conversation was natural and easy. More than that, Penelope could see how Emily was looking at and talking to _y/n_ like she was the most important thing there. When _y/n_ had gone to the restroom, Garcia had said, “Emily if you don’t ask her out at the end of this get-together, I’m going to scream.” Prentiss retorted, “Pen, I just know her from the gym and this meeting. Don’t you think that’s moving a little fast?” Garcia smiled, now knowing for sure that Emily liked _y/n_. The tech replied, “Emily's life is short, if she says no, then you can move your pining elsewhere.” Garcia took a long sip of her Cosmo before adding on, “ By the way _y/n_ was giving you the same big doe eyes you were giving her, so…” And that was how _y/n_ had been asked out on a date by Emily. 

The first date was at a local farmers market. _y/n_ and Emily strolled the stalls, got lemonade, and sat in the shade as a local band played in the background. They talked about their hobbies and dating preferences. That was there _y/n_ had learned that Em was mostly dating women at this point in her life. And Prentiss had learned that _y/n_ was new to dating women. They’d said, “I’m just trying to figure everything out. I hope that doesn’t sound dismissive. I just want to be honest, when it comes to dating, sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing, But if you’re willing to put up with me, I’d enjoy figuring it out with you.” Emily had agreed, and they went on a second and third date. Over time _y/n_ learned about the team and why Emily could be so serious sometimes and more relaxed when she was not on a case. 

One night at _y/n_’s house, while cooking dinner, _y/n_ admitted, “You know, I didn’t realize that dating and being interested in women was an option until way later in my life. I feel like I spent years looking for the perfect person and love at first sight, but I wasn’t ever looking in the right place.” Em nodded as she stirred the pasta in with the sauce; she replied, “I get it. Being sheltered does things to you that other people might not understand. It was such a relief to me when I figured out I could just like both. And it was more of a relief when I realized that dating doesn’t have to end in disappointment.” _y/n_ wrapped their arms around Emily’s waist and kissed the agent’s neck saying, “I’m happy too, Emily.” _y/n_ had heard Prentiss lightly reference her hesitation about dating a few times, and _y/n_ wondered if there was more to the story. _y/n_ felt that it was far enough in their relationship and asked, “Em, would you tell me what happened? Why you were so averse to dating when we met?” Prentiss turned to _y/n_ and sighed before saying, “I guess I owe you an explanation about why I seemed too hot and cold and the beginning there.” Em turned off the heat on the stove and led _y/n_ to the table. Once they sat across from each other, Emily said, “I was in a committed relationship for a year last year. I thought everything was perfect. The girl, my life, work. I thought I’d finally figured it out. I was going to propose. And then a case happened. A bad one. I got hurt. I called my then-partner, and she was hysterical. I tried to make her feel better, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She was so attached that the idea of me being hurt, of me dying on the job pushed her away. When I got home, she was gone. She took all of her stuff. It was like she never existed. I tried to call her, but she never responded. And the thing is, I get it. Anything could happen. Not everyone can deal with those odds. I don’t blame her.” _y/n_ listened and felt sorry for Emily to have been abandoned like that. _y/n_ said, “You might have understood her reasoning, but she might have told you goodbye or explained. I’m sorry you went through that, Em. Just letting you know, I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Prentiss smiled and said, “Thanks _y/n_. Do you mean that even if I can’t cook?” _y/n_ tipped her head to the side and Emily, who was facing the stove said, “Because I turned off the wrong burner and that pasta is definitely burning.” Just as _y/n_ looked back at the smoking pan on the stove, the fire alarm went off. After _y/n_ and Emily handled the situation with the crispy food, they both laughed long and hard. Em took _y/n_ out to dinner instead, and that was where they’d made their relationship official. They moved on slowly, and to _y/n_’s words, she stuck with Em through the highs and lows. And Emily did the same for _y/n_. Weathering life together, they realized, was much more enjoyable than being alone. Even in the hard times and arguments. And this reassurance made _y/n_ feel strong enough to tell Em the whole truth. 

All of the care and love that they had shared. All the late nights and early mornings. _y/n_ knew that that kind of love didn’t just go away because things changed. So _y/n_ took a deep breath and replied, “I can’t be your girl anymore because I think I’m… nonbinary.” The words hung there for a few seconds before Prentiss’s face changed from one of confusion to one of unbridled joy. Em put both of her hands across the table, and _y/n_ took them in hers. All Emily said was, “Really? For how long sweetheart?” Prentiss had noticed the subtle changes in _y/n_’s behavior and mannerisms. Of course, she had. But Emily didn’t want to read into things or press _y/n_ into talking about things she might not want to. _y/n_ took a breath and said, “Maybe a month or a little more. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but it finally clicked after we did that charity 5K with the team.” Prentiss nodded. That had been an interesting afternoon, but she didn’t realize how much it had meant to _y/n. _y/n_ looked at Emily’s face. Even though it was jubilant, _y/n_ had to make sure. Had to hear from Emily, and _y/n_ asked, “So you’re not upset? I know you prefer dating women, but I’m not that anymore I guess.” Emily pulled _y/n_’s hands to her mouth and kissed over both sets of _y/n_’s knuckles before saying, “Of course, I’m not upset, _y/n_. You’re telling me who you are. Who the real you is. That takes courage and reflection, and I love that about you. You never back down from a challenge or a hard thing. Even if that hard thing is understanding yourself.” _y/n_ wasn’t sure why Emily’s positive words were having such an effect on them, but _y/n_’s eyes teared up, and they had to pull _y/d/h_ out of Em’s to wipe them away with their shirt sleeve. _y/n_ laughed and said, “At least I’m still emotional as I’ve always been.” That had Prentiss laugh and say, “_y/n_. Just because you feel differently about your body or gender doesn’t mean you’re just going to change in an instant. If you feel like you need to make changes, then that will happen, but you’re still you. You’re still the person I love. I will always love.” Em took a breath, feeling emotional herself before she said, “I love every possible iteration of you.” _y/n_ sniffled and asked, “What did I ever do to deserve you, Em?” They were both beaming now, and Prentiss replied, “I could ask you the same thing, _y/n_. And you know we can play at compliments forever, but do you want to talk about this more? Or do you just want to be for a bit?” _y/n_ put their chin in their hand and said, “How about a bit of both? I feel like this could be a couch conversation. 

Couch conversations were when _y/n_ and Emily sat and talked about their days. Em would talk about the office drama or the latest case, while _y/n_ dove into the details of _y/j_ and what was happening there. The couch was a place for relaxed conversation with _y/f/s_ playing in the background while they talked and laughed or complained together. Big conversations happened at the table. It was an unspoken system between them. Given Emily’s hectic and stressful life, it worked for them. As _y/n_ looked at Emily’s hand and they moved to the couch, _y/n_ wondered why they’d started this conversation at the kitchen table. _y/n_ tossed this choice, the table or the couch bounced in their head like a ping-pong ball. It was a big deal. This kind of discovery was, and talking about it with Emily was even more important, but at the same time, realizing this new facet of themself just felt like them. It finally felt like them. Because _y/n_ wasn’t sure what to make of it, they asked Prentiss because _y/n_’s partner always had something understanding to say. Sometimes _y/n_ thought Emily knew them better than they knew themself. _y/n_ chalked it up to the profiling. Once they were both seated and the TV was on low, _y/n_ asked, “Did I make this too big a deal?” Emily turned her head to _y/n_ and moved her hand to _y/n_’s jaw, stroking down _y/n_’s face. Even though Em had never had the feelings _y/n_ had about their gender, she had felt unsure about her sexuality. She understood how it felt like everything and nothing at the same time. Prentiss said, “Not at all, _y/n_. It wasn’t too big or too small. It’s important to you in the big way, and in the small mundane life things, and I’m excited to explore all of those intricacies with you. The highs and the lows. I am so excited to be with you no matter what. No matter who you are.” At that moment, _y/n_ fully understood that Emily knew them. And feeling known right now made _y/n_ feel like the most real version of themself as they’d ever been.

Text Break Banner by @cafekitsune

Want to be added to my tag list? Please see this post, CM Tag List (linked)

Want to request a fic or mood board? My requests are open. Please see this post before requesting, CM Request Post (linked)

[razzle-berry]

I have to get this off my chest cuz damn if no one wants to say it, I will! We all know how shitty Quirk society is when it comes to mutation quirks, being quirkless, subtle quirks, or quirks that are just perceived as evil. So I’d like to request hc’s of Shoji, Shinsou, Aizawa, and Fatgum with an s/o that hates people that judge quirks or try to let the bullshit slide.

For example, Shoji’s s/o dislikes Pony from Class 1-B for how she insulted Shoji’s appearance despite not knowing him at all, so she tends to keep a stone face or glare on anyone like that unless they apologize. Would deadass say “He’s not the monster here, you are.”

Shinsou’s s/o would openly call people cowards/idiots for antagonizing Shinsou’s quirk when it could be used for interrogating villains and subtletly get information from enemy sources, so she’s more than happy to defend him and others like him.

And Aizawa’s/Fatgum’s s/o just openly points out the bullshit ethics of the society for how no one should be discriminated or ranked for their quirk since they can’t help being born with whatever quirk they have and even calls out pro-hero’s that holds the whole “flashy quirk >” mindset *cough*Endeavor*cough* since it could demotivate and make others insecure about being a hero or even using their quirks at all.

This was long but quirk discrimination got me heated and I rarely see anyone talk about it or do hc’s about it.

I feel you. I hate this so much too especially because so many people have or may have suffered in the show because of this! I was actually just talking about this with one of my friends earlier lol.

There's going to be a bit if a stylistic change with this hc so bear with me please.

Warnings: Discrimination, swearing, Y/N is about to go off on someone, slight angst ig

Character(s): Shoji, Shinso, Aizawa, Fatgum

Mezo Shoji

Let’s just start off by saying that anybody who has the audacity to call Shoji a monster can catch not just his your, but my hands as well. This man is so strong, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well to not let the blatant discrimination turn him away from wanting to be a hero. (Absolutely no hate to those who did go down that path because of it though, they still valid)

Shoji can, for the most part, handle himself in these situations. While they hurt, he grew up having to deal with it and is sadly used to it

But the first time you went off on someone for judging him, it made him fall deeper in love 

“How dare you!” The cafeteria chatter and traffic in the mall seemed to freeze in time as your voice carried out. In front of you was a rather tall man who could have been considered attractive if not for his ugly words. Mezo stood behind you, looking at you in shock at how angry you had become. 

“Mezo is an amazing hero, and even better person, and you have the absolute nerve to insult him because of how he looks?” 

The man started to sweat underneath your heavy gaze, as well as the whispers that started to grow around you two. Mezo decided to step in and placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Darling, it’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” You sent him a brief smile before turning you glare onto the stranger. “You’re not the monster here, he is.” 

Hitoshi Shinso 

He’s used to people referring to him as a villain the second they know what his quirk is and by the time we the audience meet him, he’s accepted it

He’s fallen into such a deep pit of insecurity, it’s a wonder he even managed to accept that you weren’t afraid of him, let alone have romantic interest him 

The first time he saw you jump to his, or any other person that's like him, defense he was in shock.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hitoshi stopped and stared at you in shock.

A small villain had tried to keep the restaurant hostage for some reason or another and had a woman at gun point as he talked to the police outside. While currently not on duty, Hitoshi still had his licence and controlled the villain to safely return the woman to her family and turn himself in. He tried to go comfort the woman and see if he needed anything, only for her to scream at him for having such a villainous quirk. Naturally, he was upset but he was willing and ready to move on from the unfortunately common situation and just go back to his lunch date with you. Seemed like you had other plans.

"This man just saved you, and you want to call him a villain? How much of a child do you have to be to think that someone's quirk determines what they become. Hitoshi is a wonderful hero, and his so called 'villainous' quirk has helped save hundreds of people!"

Hitoshi took your hand and started pulling you away from the woman, as you were getting closer.

"Calm down, it's fine. I'm used to it."

"Well you shouldn't be! It's people like this that create the villains in this society. Not everyone is as stubborn as you, hearing that you're going to be a villain based on nothing but something you can't control would break someone enough and have then actually turn into a villain!"

You looked at the woman in absolute rage and disgust.

"I hope you're proud of yourself."

Shota Aizawa

He someone who not only grew up with a non flashy quirk, but also is a hero without a flashy quirk. Barely anyone knows who he is because of that, as well as his underground career. While that's a good thing, all things considered, he was and is still a victim of hero society's discrimination

Shota doesn't like UA's entrance exam because it's impractical, and we know he knows that the bias allows for talented potential heroes to slip through because they're not flashy or physically strong. He would have first hand knowledge of this since it almost happened to him.

You, on the other hand, weren't a hero. At least not one like him. You helped people like him know that they're still able to become heroes, no matter what other may say about their quirks and he loved you for it.

"He might not have a strong physical quirk that allows for flashy moves to appeal to an audience, but that doesn't mean he isn't useful, or powerful."

You two were on a date when a fan, if you could even call him that, had walked up to Shota and started asking questions. All was okay until he asked if he ever felt bad for not being as powerful or useful as someone like All Might or Endeavor.

"Yeah, but he's-"

"His own person with his own accomplishments that you probably never even heard about because the media didn't care enough. He's worth so much more than a fancy quirk and a camera ready smile. Now, go back to whatever you were doing, we are busy."

Shota chuckled and allowed you to pull him along.

"You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Doesn't matter, you are an amazing hero and I don't appreciate anyone saying otherwise because of something so stupid as a flashy quirk. Especially when they compare you to fucking Endeavor of all people!"

Fatgum/Toyomitsu Taishiro 

Toyomitsu has a quirk that, on the surface, doesn’t seem very useful for hero work. I imagine that he was made very aware of that growing up, and even as he debuted as a hero.

Not to mention that his quirk, when activated, makes body shape turn into an almost oval, vague snowman shape so that might have set some people off. For such a friendly guy, that would have been a cause for insecurity at one point seeing as he genuinely wants people to be happy.

You were someone who never saw him like that and held him through tougher nights when the media got too harsh on him. You were even someone not afraid to get in front of a reporter’s camera and tear them a new one.

“What kind of a ridiculous question is that?” 

It was a few weeks after his debut and some people were still mocking him for his quirk. On the surface, fat absorption didn’t seem like much and for someone who doesn’t know Toyo- excuse me- Fatgum (he’s a hero now, you thought proudly), it might even seem useless. But you knew better, and you thought that it was about time others did too. 

“Just because Fatgum’s quirk isn’t flashy and destructive, it doesn’t mean he should feel inadequate next to someone who does have one like that, and I don’t appreciate you insinuating that he should.” 

The reporter recoiled slightly, and tried to stutter out a response. 

“I'm- I'm not-!"

"Fatgum is already an amazing hero, and he's only going to get better. So you can take your prejudice and find a new job because clearly being a reporter is not a good field for you!"

"Sugar, it's okay!" Fatgum placed his hand on your shoulder and smiled. "I'm just going to have to prove them wrong!"

His cheery demeanor was enough to calm you down a bit, but still you couldn't resist shooting the chastised reporter a sharp glare, causing them to shrink back. You smirked at the sight.

"You already have."

[diavolosthots]

How would the brothers react to their (boy/girlfriend) mc suffering from memory loss?

I'm going to assume MC was just "born" with it and didnt actually go through anything traumatic

THE BROTHERS reacting to MC suffering from memory loss 

Lucifer:

It started small at first, you just forgot simple things and he’d let it slide, but at some point sooner or later he would become concerned with the amount of things you forgot, not what you forgot. Is this normal? It shouldn’t be. You’re not an old human. As far as he knows, humans can easily live up into their 80s. It was kind of agitating him, too, but he wouldn’t voice that, not yet. “You’re forgetting things.” it was a question of whether or not you had realized, it was a fact. “And I can’t have that.” he makes it out as if it was an inconvenience to him, but if it hadn’t become one already, it would also be an inconvenience to you before you know it. So what’s this awesome thing they have down here in the Devildom? Magic. Suddenly you’ll remember everything.

Mammon:

Honestly, for how much he forgets things himself, chances are that he didn’t even realize at first that you had memory loss, until even he had picked up on it. His brother’s birthdays, big exams, important meetings…. They all seemed to have been forgotten by you. He’d get onto you, scared that you’d forget him as well. “Oi! My birthday is next week and…” “MC, it’s been almost a year since I became ya first! We needa celebrate!” but then the day would come and you would still forget… He’d be sad, not gonna lie, but he’d offer to help as much as possible. “Guess ya really can’t live without the great Mammon.” 

Leviathan:

It upset him at first. Dates, calls, inside jokes…. They all would be forgotten and Levi would be left sad and wondering if it’s all his fault and he’s just being used by you. His thoughts would turn dark pretty quickly and chances are he’ll bottle it all up inside and turn a cold shoulder. He doesn’t necessarily want to, but it’s a self protection kind of thing. Well… sooner or later that would blow up into an argument and he would feel like shit when you tell him you suffer from memory loss. “So… part of your life just goes missing?” Basically, yeah. It’s more complicated than that and obviously differs in people, but at least he’s got the basic gist. 

Satan:

He’s so quick to notice, you don’t even have to tell him. Now, before you guys started dating, he DEFINITELY used that to prank you and you easily missed a few important student council meetings or your night of cooking because of him (he still secretly laughs about it), but once you two became an item, he kind of took you under his wing and made sure you stayed on track. He still pulls light pranks on you like causing you to be just a little late to class or making you question what you learned today, but it’s nothing extreme…. Until you two get into a fight then it’s over. 

Asmodeus:

Much like Lucifer, he noticed it in little things first. Forgetting where your toothbrush was placed or even something silly like which fork to use when you guys dine at the Demon Lord’s castle. In your defense though, there’s a lot of cutlery. Anyway, he found it cute at first and saw it as an opportunity to be your Knight in Shining Armor, but it’s also worrying to him. “Oh I just got memory loss! I usually put reminders on my phone but it seems I forgot…” He’s not going to lie, he definitely laughed at that. Don’t worry, Asmo is here. 

Beelzebub:

It took him forever to notice because he kind of took it upon himself to do everything anyway; he desperately wants to be the provider type and not have you worry about a thing. Belphegor is probably the one who pointed it out like “Dude your bestie got memory loss” (because Beel would be besties with his s/o can’t change my mind.) and then he has a sort of “ooohh….” moment, but he really wouldn’t change much? Like, he’s just going to continue to take care of you. 

Belphegor:

See, he unintentionally forgets (to him) unimportant things so he kind of feels that? “I suffer from memory loss” okay?Just don’t forget important things. But that’s the issue and that’s where he kind of struggles. “You forgot your birthday?” “you forgot Lord Diavolo’s party for Barbatos?” “You forgot to EAT?!” And all of a sudden he’s frantically running around trying to make sure you don’t die and he’s even more exhausted than usual and sleeps like a god damn rock, but hey, at least you’re okay and not forgetting anything anymore, thanks to him, right? 

[spxllcxstxr]

Bridge Over Troubled Water • R.L

(Gif not mine)

Requests: can you do a blurb with Remus where the reader is nervous and anxious, maybe has a tough week and he gives her a massage and helps her relax? — anon and Hi! can you write an imagine where the reader is dating Remus and is disappointed in her school grades / results and is overall doubting herself and is disappointed with herself? — @emmaev

Summary: Things are getting really tough. Remus is here for you.

Warnings: mention of food, not eating/skipping a meal, hunger, depression, anxiety, a bit of a panic attack, homework, school, self deprecating thoughts, kinda take how we’re feeling in this pandemic and that’s kinda what this fic is, Snape being an ass for like two sentences, crying

Word Count: 1.7k

A.N: I hope it’s alright that I combined your two requests. But, I decided to make it longer with a lot more comfort. I really hope it’s ok with you guys ❤️ Kinda a vent fic? So that’s why it’s lowkey all over the place and the ending is sorta..abrupt? I hope you like it, though. I wanna say that I’m always here for you guys. This whole thing has been kicking my ass and school has been extremely tough for me, so know that you’re not alone. Know that you’ve got this. I believe wholeheartedly in you. Love you all. ❤️

Title: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

****

You trudge up the stone steps to the boys dorms, your bag dragging heavily behind you. With your robes slipping from your shoulders and your tie dangling loosely around your neck, you almost consider letting your bag go. Watching the heavy sack of books tumble recklessly down the spiral staircase seems like a great idea to you. However, you make it to the sixth year dorms before you’re able to loosen your grip.

The oak door was closed but not locked. What use was a lock when the door was charmed to singe off the eyebrows of any unwelcome visitor? Thankfully, the boys granted you complete access to their room in third year, so the door couldn’t harm you.

Turning the brass doorknob and stepping through the threshold, you’re greeted by somewhat organized chaos.

Sirius and Peter’s side of the room was a complete disaster while James and Remus’ side was at least nicer to look at. Sure a few books were scattered on the floor and James’ red and yellow underwear was hanging from his bedpost visible to anyone who walked in, but that’s nothing compared to whatever the other two have going on. You don’t even want to look at it, knowing full well that just one tiny glance would make your already terrible day worse.

The room is empty and completely quiet, the boys, just like every other person in the castle, were down in the Great Hall for dinner. At the thought of dinner just downstairs, your stomach grumbles before quickly churning in agony.

Quickly, you dump your bag next to the door and go through Remus’ drawers, searching for that one specific jumper.

It’s the deep blue cable knit one that always smells like him. The jumper is soft and warm and the perfect piece of clothing to cuddle into when you needed a good cry. And Godric, you needed a good, long, ugly cry.

After finding it and throwing it on, you barely lift up your feet walking to your boyfriend’s bed to get swallowed up by his blankets.

The weight of the day hits you full force the moment your head collides with his pillow, and your lips wobbles, the day replaying in your mind.

Your morning started with a Transfiguration exam that definitely was not on what you studied all night for.

Then, your potion bubbled out of your cauldron and started disintegrating the stone flooring, making Slughorn shoot you very disappointed look that made you want to disappear into the Forbidden Forest forever.

Defense Against the Dark Arts turned into a complete disaster as well when Professor Bluebell handed back your essays on inferi, and yours ended up with a spikey red D scrawled angrily on the top. D, which stands for Dreadful, as Snape snidely reminded you from over your shoulder. He flashed you smug little smirk along with the delicate O that adorned his own essay.

And to top it all off, you had to meet up with Flitwick right after classes to go over the vinegar to wine charm that for some reason wouldn’t work for you no matter how hard you tried. And you still weren’t successful.

This was becoming a common occurrence.

You always knew that your N.E.W.T. year was going to be tough, but Merlin, you never expected it to be this awful.

Classes were longer and harder and your professors were relentless and unforgiving with the amount of homework and exams they started handing out.

Sure you had more free periods, but those were filled with research and essays and studying, you had no free time at all—it was all a lie.

You couldn’t escape it. Sleep was just more time to be plagued by anxiety to the point you barely even slept at all. Most of the time you stared blankly up at the ceiling thinking about all the assignments you could be doing instead.

It’s this torturous and vicious cycle that you just can’t get out of.

And your motivation was quickly disappearing.

It was getting tougher and tougher each time to even do your homework. Lifting up your quill and taking out a stack of parchment was just difficult. It took too much energy out of you.

Smothering your face in Remus’ pillow, you groan out your frustration, balling your fists around the frayed sleeves of the jumper.

You’re so wrapped up in your despair and panic that you don’t hear the door creak open and four sets of footfalls and laughter bounce around the room.

“Damn, what’s up with you?” Sirius chuckles. You hear him flop onto his own bed.

You bury your nose in the fabric of the jumper, inhaling the sweet and comforting scent of chocolate and old parchment that always accompanies Remus Lupin.

“Don’t be a git, Pads.” Remus scoffs, making his way towards you.

He crouches down by your head, placing a delicate thumb on your cheekbone.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” His tone turns soft, drenched with concern.

You squeeze your eyes shut tight, tears trickling down the bridge of your nose and dripping down to the white sheets.

“Alright, darling, hold on.” Remus whispers, placing a dainty kiss on your forehead.

He straightens up, knees creaking the way no sixteen year old’s should.

“Alright, lads, clear out.” Remus declares to his friends.

“You can’t kick me out of my room, Moony. No way.” You hear James whine.

“Yes, I can, Prongs, c’mon. Go play chess with Peter or something.”

“But he always beats me.”

“C’mon, Prongsie, we can scam the first years by making them place bets on you winning.” Sirius suggests. His boots click against the floorboards, trailing towards the door.

Peter’s light footsteps follow after them.

“Fine.” James huffs dramatically. “But I’m not sleeping on the couch again, so no funny business.”

The door slams shut and once again you’re met with silence, though you do hear Remus changing out of his uniform and into more comfortable attire.

The bed dips underneath Remus’ weight and his hand gently starts to stroke through your hair.

“Tell me what’s wrong, my love.” Remus mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

You try to swallow down the lump in the back of your throat.

“Just a very shitty day, Rem.” You manage to croak out, the words choppy and wavering.

Tears begin to flow freely, warm salty streaks making their way down your face in rapid succession.

“Oh darling.” Remus coos, practically pulling you into his arms and between his legs. You bury your face into his neck, tears dampening his scarred flesh. “It’s alright, let it out.” He continues to run your hair between his fingers. “Let it all out...”

“I-I’m just so stupid!” You sob, choking on spit. “Everything’s just getting too much and I can’t fucking take it anymore!”

He squeezes you closer to his chest, opting to stay silent so you can vent everything off of your chest. His cheek is pressed to the top of your head and you’re vaguely aware that you’re being rocked gently back and forth.

“It’s so hard!” You continue to wail, lungs constricting rapidly. It’s a struggle to keep breathing and your words barely come out fully, instead broken fragments are the only things spewing out.

“I’m a failure!” You spit out, face wet with tears.

“You’re not a failure, my love. I promise.” Remus tried to soothe, his voice adopting a small but noticeable waver. His hand rubs your back.

“I am! I’m a disappointment!” You sniff, taking in deep gulps of air.

“Shh...” Remus pulls you back a bit so he can see your entire face.

You already know you look disgusting. Eyes blotchy and red, tears streaming down your face. Snotty, spitty, wobbling, and watery features taking up his entire vision.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, hm? Let me help.” He consoles you softly.

You gaze into his warm honey brown eyes, glistening with his own tears.

You sniff, rubbing the sleeves of Remus’ stolen jumper across your face in an attempt to dry yourself off.

“Everything’s slipping, Rem. My grades, my mental health, everything. And I’m so lost I don’t know what to do anymore.” You confess. “What am I supposed to do?” You bring your hands up to you hair, tugging at your scalp enough for you to feel sparks of pain.

Quickly, his own trembling hands take yours. He stops you from tugging, instead bringing them to rest on his jumper clad chest.

You swallow harshly.

“I’m going to help you, (Y/n)—“

“You can’t help me, Remus! I’m beyond help—“

“No, you’re not.” He retorts lightly. “I’ll help you with homework and help you ask for a few extensions...we can get you back on track.”

“Remus...” Your voice trembles at his kindness.

“I’m sorry.” He rasps out, a tear or two slipping from his waterline. “I’m so so sorry that I didn’t see you suffering like this. Merlin, (Y/n).”

Shaking his head at himself, he brings his forehead down to your own.

“I’ll be better. I’ll be better, I swear.” Remus keeps repeating in a pained mutter.

“It’s not your fault, Rem. I got good at acting like everything was fine.” Your voice cracks.

“Still! I should’ve realized!” He mutters angrily.

“I love you, Remus. I love you so much, please don’t beat yourself up over this.” You plead.

He bites his lip, deciding to drop it, instead focusing on you.

“Why don’t we try to relax, hm? Just take a nice night off?” Remus suggests, pulling away to brush strands of hair away from your sticky face.

“But what about homework—?”

“Tomorrow, love. I think we deserve a break, don’t you?”

You shlyly nod, and he presses his lips to your forehead.

“You’re beautiful, darling.” Remus whispers.

“I just bawled my eyes out, Rem, I’m sure I look like a swamp hag.” You snort.

He brings his hands to your shoulders, rubbing deep circles into your back muscles. The knots start to dissipate.

“Never seen a swamp hag as angelic as you.” Remus flirts. But his voice is so sincere and honest, you have no choice but to somewhat believe him.

“Thank you, Remus.” You smile. “It means so much to me.”

“Anything for the love of my life.” He confesses, trailing his pink lips down your neck. “Now let me hold you close.”

He lays down, resting his head on his pillow, your head resting on his chest.

Things are going to get better.

Probably not tomorrow.

Probably not this week.

But things will.

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20

[bvidzsoo]

Poison (Part 3)

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: suggestive stuff, light swearing

 Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

 Word count: 15, 054

 Summary:  Three weeks have passed since the auction and things definitely changed. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but slowly, you started falling for Kim Mingyu. But things are never easy nor the safest, when you are dating a mafia leader.

 A/N:  Ayo lovelies, third part is here! We have a little bit of spice here and there in this chapter, but don’t get too used to it just yet! Someone is here to stir up some spirits, hehehe. Quick reminder, whenever I reblog the last part I posted, usually means the next one is coming real soon, so...there’s that. I don’t have much to say, except thank you for the support shown so far and please leave feedback! Enjoy now!

       The days and nights felt like a big whirlwind that I got caught in, my days more and more exciting as they went by. I never thought I had a boring life, I did go out and party from time to time, but I never experienced having someone with me almost twenty-four-seven. Not that I never had a partner, it’s just been a long time since. And they weren’t Kim Mingyu. An annoying giant, clinging to you whenever he could, while he whispered dirty things into your ear just to piss you off more. I swore to myself after the night of the auction that I wouldn’t get caught up even more with him, that I would never kiss him again. I even managed to convince myself that what I felt for him was just the spur of the moment and nothing serious, like when you make accidental eye contact with a handsome stranger and imagine a whole life with them; I pretended that’s what happened after the auction. Just a daydream that got too far but would never be repeated. And then all of my walls came crashing down when the next morning a huge bucket of white roses was placed in front of my front door. I walked curiously to the door when I heard my neighbor calling out for me, knocking softly against the door. My eye widened when I opened the door and they fell on the roses.

“Look at these beauties!” The lady exclaimed as she leaned down and picked the bucket up. My mouth was open as I didn’t know what to say, I could only look at her in disbelief, “You should put the into water, quickly, before they wither.”

Like all the defenses and lies I told myself last night have withered the second she pushed the roses into my arms. I knew who they were from and it made my heart beat quickly.

“Thank you.” I bowed my head a little as the lady giggled and walked towards her own apartment.

“Ah, to be young and in-love again…” She mumbled to herself and my cheeks suddenly felt hot. My eyebrows furrowed at the foreign feeling as I remained rooted in the doorway, gazing down at the beautiful flowers, a smile extending onto my lips. But my attention got caught by the door opposite mine getting unlocked and I panicked as I whirled around at lightning-speed to close the door before my best friend could spot me.

“Yah! Oh Y/N!” I bit my lower lip as I froze with my back towards the person who called out, “What are you doing?”

I quickly placed the roses on the little table by the door and turned around swiftly, closing the door enough so that Seungcheol wouldn’t see the beautiful bucket.

“Chatting with Mrs. Eom, why?” I answered him with a sweet smile, ignoring the rapid beat of my heart. Did he see the bucket of roses? I highly doubt that, he’s still wearing his pajamas, hair disheveled and toothbrush in his hand.

“I just heard voices…” Seungcheol muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“You just got up?” I asked concerned, eyes falling on the clock hung up in the hallway, reading 12:38 am.

“Yeah, had a rough night…” He muttered again, starting to brush his teeth lazily as he held onto his door, “Not everyone got an early night like you yesterday, Y/N. We had to take care of stuff—”

“Was the mission a success?” I chimed up with a small smile, but it quickly disappeared when Cheol started looking around and threw me a glare.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Y/N.” He scolded me and I rolled my eyes, stepping further inside my apartment.

“Fine, get changed, I’ll be over in ten minutes with my leftover breakfast, okay?” I raised my eyebrows as Cheol continued to brush his teeth with a frown.

“You always make me eat your leftover—”

“You never have food, stop complaining!” I snapped and shut the front door with a smirk when Seungcheol groaned loudly, the slam of his apartment door echoing around in the hallway. My eyes fell on the bucket of white roses again and I sucked in a deep breath, hating the way my heart started beating fast. I picked it up and went to find a vase for it.

And that wasn’t the only bucket I got from Mingyu. I kept getting buckets almost daily, sometimes he’d even bring them to the bookstore. He never entered, he just knocked on the window and left them in the door. Irene kept gushing about the sudden gestures but I shut her down with a glare and a few harsh words, telling her they didn’t mean anything. Because they meant a lot and I wasn’t ready to accept that yet. It felt like Mingyu suddenly learned what privacy meant, he wasn’t breathing down my neck anymore and it felt weird. I had him in my shadow for six months, suddenly having my own space was a weird feeling. It’s not like he abandoned me, but he didn���t approach me so openly anymore. When I went on a morning run, he’d be running on the other trail from which he had a clear view of me; when I would go to the convenience store late at night to buy something I forgot to get during the day, I would see him sitting in his Mercedes and looking inside the store, keeping his eyes on me and my movements. He did corner me at times when I wasn’t expecting him to, like when I was at the University’s library looking for a book for my research essay. When I was walking home after my shift, I would be pulled into a secluded alleyway, sometimes even at the entrance to the apartment building. And I couldn’t resist him, no matter how hard I tried. He finally won this game and I couldn’t even hate myself, because I predicted that I would fall. My heart wasn’t cold enough to ignore someone like him. And he knew that, that’s why he remained so persistent. But even then, I wasn’t ready for the world to know about us. I wasn’t even sure I was ready for whatever we were doing at the moment. We weren’t dating, but we certainly were something. Three weeks after the auction night, I craved him more than ever and I wanted to be with him almost always. But I had my own pride, I wouldn’t cave in so quickly yet. And I had other priorities, like, getting passing grades at University, working at the bookstore and maintaining my other relationships with people like: Irene, Vernon, Seungcheol. In just three weeks it felt like my whole life was constructed around Kim Mingyu and that scared me. Before, I was independent, I never thought of others and most certainly I didn’t have to direct so much of my energy and time onto another person. Even when I dated in the past, the relationship felt rigid and somewhat cold, which was my fault, to be honest. But something about Mingyu was different and it was him that didn’t let me shut him out like I usually would do, and it was foreign. I’d always bicker with him about the smallest things because I didn’t know how else to act around him, I was expecting him to leave me at any second. But he didn’t, he stood by my side for six months and he swore to never let me go in the three weeks that we’ve been sneaking around.

       Papers with my handwriting on it littered across the coffee table as I leaned my back against the sofa, sitting on the floor. It was getting late but I still had to study four more pages for tomorrow’s exam. It was a pain in the ass and I was already fed up with all the terminology I still didn’t understand, but I had no choice. I had all week to study, but due to a certain somebody, I barely had time to even breathe. Mingyu kept brining me out on dates, which, his words, ‘weren’t exactly dates’, and therefore I had no time to study in time. I hated leaving it for the last moment but right now I really had no choice. So, with a frustrated sigh, I leaned forward and grabbed my cup of coffee and took a big gulp, eyes running over the words I have written down in class. As I placed the cup back on the coffee table, the three locks on my front door were getting unlocked. I definitely told Seungcheol to leave me alone tonight, so he had no reason to be over at this hour. He was already sleeping, probably, Mingyu kept him busy lately and we barely hung out this week.

“I think I was clear when I told you I wanted to study, Seungcheol, why are you—”

“Seungcheol?” The deep voice made me jump, eyes go wide, “That’s not the right way to greet your boyfriend.”

“You’re not my boyfriend.” I snapped with an eyeroll, ignoring Mingyu, “And take off your shoes, it’s not you who cleans up the apartment.”

I heard Mingyu chuckle before he went back into the hallway to take his shoes off, “You could just ask me, you know, I’d clean up—”

“And break my stuff?” I scoffed and leaned my head back against the sofa, “No, thank you.”

“I wouldn’t break any of your stuff…” I looked up at Mingyu, to see him smirking down at me as he leaned against the doorframe.

“But?”

“I’d love to break you—”

“Get out!” I threw him a glare, which amused him, of course, and continued to take in his form. Mingyu continued smirking at me, pushed off the doorframe to sit on the sofa. He was dressed in a burgundy silk like suit, jacket undone and the black shirt’s top buttons undone to show off his neck and the pearly choker that decorated it. He wore various rings today and his black hair was curly. Yesterday it was still brushed back, but today it fell in waves against his forehead and I gulped as he finally sat on the sofa.

“Enjoying me much?” He spoke lowly and I scoffed, deciding to ignore his remark, knowing well my voice would sound too weak.

“What—” I cleared my throat as I looked back at the paper in my hands, “You’re a model now? Did you do a shoot for W Korea or something?”

My tone was mocking, and Mingyu knew it was to hide my flustered state, and it made him chuckle. He sighed loudly and dramatically fell back against my sofa, bringing his hands behind his head. He really liked sitting like that.

“I totally could become a model, right?” When we made eye contact his eyes were glinting with mischief and I rolled my eyes, deciding to remain quiet, “We had an important meeting today.”

“About?” I mused absentmindedly as I started reading the words written on my paper again.

“Don’t think about that now,” Mingyu dismissed my question as he leaned down to rest his chin on my shoulder, “What are you studying for?”

“Economy exam, so, kindly leave me alone.” I turned my head just a little bit, our noses almost brushing against each other. The hairs stood on the back of my neck as Mingyu let out a long sigh, his breath fanning against my neck and jaw.

“Do you have to study now?” He grumbled into my ear and I nodded wordlessly, not trusting my voice, “Why didn’t you study earlier this week—”

“Because you kept taking me out every single day!” I snapped, pulling away from him with a glare, “If I fail this exam it’s your fault, so, leave me alone.”

I watched as he jutted his lower lip out, “Come on, sugar, don’t be mean to your boyfriend.”

“You’re not my boyfriend…” I mumbled to myself as I leaned back against the sofa and started reading again. Mingyu remained seated on the sofa as silence stretched around the room, the soft tapping of his fingers against his muscular thigh the only sound that echoed around. His knee was close enough to my shoulder that it was just barely brushing against it and I bit my lip as I focused hard on the words and ignored Mingyu’s tempting warmth. He knew how hard it was for me to stay still when he was so close to me; and I call him clingy; but sometimes I just want to have even the smallest physical contact with him. Not tonight, Y/N, you’re really close to failing economy class, I thought to myself as my eyebrows furrowed as I read over again the same line. Mingyu’s loud sigh almost made me ask him what was wrong, but I just bit my lower lip and flipped the paper, internally groaning at another page filled with words I had to learn tonight.

“Do you like my new hairstyle?” I heard Mingyu ask faintly as his rings clanked against each other as he started toying with his fingers.

I hummed and nodded before licking my lips, “I didn’t think you’d look so hot with curly hair.”

There was a beat of silence and I felt his eyes on me, my heart picked up its pace, “So, you think I’m hot?”

“Yes.” I mumbled, feeling a sudden dryness in my mouth as I gulped quickly, refusing the urge to look back up at him. He was incredibly hot dressed the way he was today, and it was hard to not look at him, but I could do it. I was an expert when it came to ignoring Kim Mingyu.

“You’re hot too, when you’re turned on.” I didn’t have to look to see he smirk on his lips; I scoffed and rolled my eyes before reading the page from the top to the bottom again. Memorizing the information was harder when he was sitting next to me. I heard him shift on the sofa and I prayed he just wanted to lay down and torment me from there with his words, but I stopped breathing when his warm palm brushed my hair behind my shoulder and his soft lips pressed against my neck.

“Mingyu…” I sighed in warning, eyebrows furrowing when he kept pressing feather like kisses down my neck.

“Yes?” He whispered against my skin, which was now covered in goosebumps.

“I have to study,” I snapped, trying hard to resist his kisses, “I can’t fail this exam—”

“And you won’t.” Mingyu muttered close to my ear as he pressed a kiss just behind my ear, “You’re smart, you don’t have to study much. You already know this—”

“That’s what you think—” I choked on air when he bit my ear lobe teasingly, “I’m—I’m really not that—smart—”

“Sugar,” He sighed deeply and I dared to look at him, his pupils were already dilated and he smirked when he saw my face, my expression probably similar to his, “I’ll be really pissed off, if you don’t put down that paper and come make out with me.”

It wasn’t a request, and I knew it, he really wasn’t going to let me study tonight. Once again. Gulping and glancing down at the paper in my hands, I knew I really had to study right now, but when I looked back up at Mingyu, I knew by how impatient he was I had one second before he’d be pulling me over him. With a roll of my eyes, I slammed the paper on the coffee table and opened my mouth to curse at him, but his hands were around my head and his lips pressed against mine. His soft lips were familiar by now and it brought a sense of calmness over me. My eyes closed as I raised up onto my knees and gripped his thighs, earning a sigh from him.

“I don’t see you all day and even when I do, you ignore me instead of making out with me—”

“Well, Mingyu, I have a grade that I have to maintain and it’s a lot more important than your neediness—”

“Don’t be disrespectful to your boyfriend—”

“You’re not my boyfriend—” I got cut off by his lips again as he gripped me by the arms to pull me on him. He tasted like smoke and something spicy that I couldn’t identify. I straddled his hips, legs on each side, as I leaned my body into his. I let my hands run all over his chest slowly, groaning when my fingers brushed against his choker. Mingyu smirked into the kiss, his lips meeting mine hungrily as he pulled me closer into him by my bottom, squeezing it hard. I yelped and raised a bit up, pulling away from the kiss.

“I told you to stop doing that—” My chest was raising and falling a bit quicker as my eyes fell on Mingyu’s glossy lips.

“Did you drink coffee?” He asked, his voice octaves lower and it sent shivers down my spine, “It’s almost 10 pm, sugar. How will you sleep?”

“I don’t plan on sleeping tonight.” Our eyes connected, and meanwhile I meant that as in: ‘I will be studying the whole night’, I understood why it could have sounded like: ‘We’ll be having sex all night, so no need to sleep’. And Mingyu definitely thought of the second version because before I could correct his dirty mind, my hips were pulled down by his firm grip and he was sucking against my collar bones. I let out quiet breaths as my fingers finally tangled themselves into his black, curly hair and Mingyu sucked on my skin harshly. The place felt on fire as a dull pain coated the area, but Mingyu was quick to smooth it over with his tongue, which didn’t help much with the ache.

“We agreed on no marks—”

“If you pull my hair like that, I can’t help it, sugar.” Mingyu bit his lower lip as he gazed into my eyes deeply and I licked my lips, leaning down, lips brushing against each other.

“I want to rip your clothes off and kiss all over your body while you wear that choker—” Mingyu growled and all of my senses seemed to be heightened as his touch suddenly felt like it was burning into my skin, “You’re so fucking hot.”

One of his hands left my hips to grip the back of my head as he brought our lips back together and kissed me hungrily, lips bruising by the force he was using. His strong, honey like cologne enveloped my senses as I got lost in the feeling his lips were giving me. My heart was thumping loudly, lungs running out of air quickly, and every inch of my skin was on fire as I gripped Mingyu’s cheeks with both hands desperately as if he’d disappear into thin air. I never knew you could feel so much at the same time, I never knew one person alone could make you feel so alive. When I was with Mingyu time seemed to stop, people around us seemed to disappear and it was just us. I don’t know when I started trusting him so much or why I felt protected, a different kind of protection that Seungcheol and Vernon made me feel, but it happened and I realized it one day while we were walking in the park and holding hands. In Mingyu’s arms, the protection felt better and stronger, it almost felt like love. I was never in love with someone before, but maybe I was slowly falling for him.

I felt him shift us as he slid down slightly on the sofa, legs spread wider, and I realized it was to move my hips against his. His firm grip guided my hips in slow circles and I moaned when I felt his member poking through his burgundy dress pants. It sent a rush through my body, all the way down to my toes, and I gripped Mingyu’s chin to tilt his head back. He didn’t fight it as our lips moved hungrier than before, mine were already aching, and I let my tongue slip into his mouth. I swallowed his choaked moan and pressed down my hips harder against his, desperate for more friction. Mingyu moaned again and held the back of my head, his other hand slipping underneath my shirt as his hand travelled up my stomach to my breast. I bit his lower lip when he gave it a squeeze, and finally out of breath, we pulled away just barely. I smirked at Mingyu, seeing him so lost and whiney only happened during our make outs, and it was always hot and empowering. He caught his breath and his eyes darkened when he saw my satisfied expression, he stilled my hips with his hands.

“Don’t get cocky now, sugar.” His voice was husky and I let a finger run over his pearly choker before I hooked a finger in it.

“How, when I’ve got you wrapped around my finger?” He knew I was right and he knew he couldn’t say anything to deny it. I pressed my lips against his jaw and peppered light kisses against his smooth skin, his warmth made me feel like I was in an oven. I nibbled on the skin of his neck and I felt him relax as he gripped my bottom again. Wanting revenge for marking me, I chuckled against his skin before sucking down harshly on the junction of his neck and shoulder, teeth sinking into it. Mingyu hissed and was quick to push me back and look at me with a glare.

“What? You did it too.” I raised my eyebrows at him, his lips were red and plumper than usually. His hair was disheveled thanks to me and he looked so much more attractive that I kissed him again, his tongue pushing into my mouth this time. I moaned into his mouth as he squeezed my bottom again, not minding his aggressivity this time. I reached for the buttons of his shirt and started popping them open slowly. I couldn’t get enough of him and I wanted to feel more. We never did more than make out, mainly because I didn’t want to, but right now I wanted to feel all of him. Mingyu didn’t mind me and continued kissing me hungrily—until a key was pressed into the key-hole and we both froze. I pulled back stiffly, gripping onto his shoulders tightly.

“Fuck.” I cursed quietly, wide eyes staring back at Mingyu, “You need to get out, right now!”

“How?” Mingyu’s eyebrows rose as I quickly scrambled off him and tried to smooth down my clothes, “Do you want me to teleport? Because I sure as hell can’t do that—”

“Shut up!” I snapped and panicked more when the front door opened, “Please do something! You look—”

“Y/N?” Seungcheol’s deep voice rang through my apartment and my heart went wild, my worst nightmare getting confirmed. Fuck, this is so bad. Mingyu was up on his feet instantly, some of his buttons now done, but he didn’t have enough time to hide before Seungcheol would be in the living room.

“Why is your front door unlocked?” Seungcheol called loudly from the hallway, he was taking off his shoes. Mingyu walked up to me and I quickly tried to smooth his hair down as I ran my fingers through it, trying to make it look like when he arrived.

“Uhm, I—” I cleared my throat when I realized it was really dry, “I went to the—convenience store! Got back a few minutes ago and—forgot it!”

I hated lying to Seungcheol, I actually never lied to him before, and it made me feel horrible. He deserved to know the truth but I wasn’t ready yet to face his judgmental look and scolding of a lifetime. He would probably hate me and never talk to me again. What I had with Mingyu was like a safe heaven, I wanted to have it for a little longer.

“You’re an idiot!” Seungcheol was in my kitchen, probably rummaging for snacks, “I told you to always lock your door!”

“Sorry!” I called back while Mingyu picked up a hair tie from the coffee table and threw it at me, motioning at my hair. It probably looked like a bird’s nest and I clumsily pulled it into a very messy bun, which probably looked horrible. I turned to tell Mingyu to move away from the sofa, but instead he pressed one last kiss, soft and short, against my lips before stepping around me and walking towards the window. I couldn’t help but smile at him before sitting down on the ground again and picking up a random paper.

“Why are you so quiet—” Seungcheol’s voice died out when he walked inside the living room, eyes fixated on Mingyu, “Kim Mingyu.”

“Choi Seungcheol.” Mingyu turned around, the two men glared at each other. I quickly took a sip of my coffee, to make the dryness in my throat go away. Seungcheol was shooting daggers at Mingyu, as if his eyes were laser, and my heart started beating faster and faster when they remained silent. Did Seungcheol know? Did he realize what was going on before he walked in? I bit my lower lip nervously as I looked up at the two men, who were still squaring up each other. Mingyu didn’t succeed in doing all of his buttons, but at least he buttoned his jacket, which concealed a bit of his exposed chest. His hands were in the pockets of his pants and he wore an amused smirk on his lips as he dared Cheol to speak with a simple look.

“What are you doing here?” Seungcheol asked accusingly, eyes narrowing when Mingyu’s smirk widened. For a second, when Mingyu gave me a glance, my heart stopped beating. Will he tell Seungcheol? Blow everything to shreds? Mingyu promised he wouldn’t, he’ll remain quiet, right?

“Had some business to speak with sugar, of course.” Mingyu answered once his eyes were back on Seungcheol, the lie rolling off smoothly his tongue. I let out a sigh of relief and Seungcheol threw me a scrutinizing look, to which I just shrugged. Watching my best friend, I realized he was wearing similar attire to Mingyu’s, except Cheol was wearing a black turtleneck underneath his jacket.

He tsked and bit down on his lip piercing, “What business? I made it clear to stop involving her in this!”

“It has nothing to do with our meeting today, Seungcheol,” Mingyu’s voice turned reassuring and I watched as my best friend’s shoulders relaxed. What was that meeting about?, “I was just debating if I have to assign bodyguards for Y/N or not—”

“And I told you, I don’t need bodyguards!” I snapped with a glare, playing along with his lie. Mingyu scoffed and threw me a look.

“As if I care about your opinion—”

“Why don’t you assign Vernon as my bodyguard then, hmm?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingyu’s jaw ticked, he threw me a warning glare.

“I live straight across, she doesn’t need a bodyguard, Mingyu.” Seungcheol snapped, just as riled up by my words like Mingyu was. What was so bad about having Vernon as my bodyguard? He’s literally one of the few friends I have. And he’s buff, I’ve seen it when he wore casual clothes once when we went to the gym together. That was also the first and last time I went to the gym.

“And when you’re not around?” Mingyu snapped, turning his fake reason into an argument. I sighed and leaned my head against the sofa.

“Can you both stop?” I asked with a groan, lifting my head when both men stared at me, “I have to study and you’re disturbing me. Leave, both of you.”

“I’m not leaving, I just arrived!” Seungcheol snapped, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I rolled my eyes and searched for the next paper that I had to study.

“Sweet dreams, sugar.” My heart skipped a beat when Mingyu’s voice turned softer at the nickname and I bit my lower lip, peeking at Seungcheol to see him glaring at Mingyu before looking at me questioningly. I quickly cleared my expression and scowled towards the giant.

“Right,” My voice dripped with sarcasm, and for once, I really didn’t want to say hurtful words towards Mingyu, it felt wrong, “As if I could have any sweet dreams after seeing you.”

“Suit yourself.” Mingyu said with a nonchalant shrug before walking off, not casting even a glance back at me. My heart picked up again and I gulped, fearing I said something too harsh. We still bickered, but I stopped being so mean to him and I was afraid I upset him just now. Staring after Mingyu with furrowed eyebrows, I failed to notice the curious but confused glare Seungcheol was giving me. I gulped and made a mental note to text Mingyu after Cheol leaves to apologize and wish him sweet dreams.

“So,” Seungcheol grinned once Mingyu was out the apartment, leaving me anxious and stressed, “What are you studying?”

“Economy.” I answered blankly, reading through my notes. Seungcheol sat, where Mingyu was sitting a few minutes before, and laid down on my sofa, stretching his muscles.

“Ah, it’s so good to take a little rest.” He muttered to himself quietly and I hummed.

“Were you able to attend Uni classes this week?” I asked curiously as Seungcheol sighed.

“No, Mingyu had me running around to collect drugs and shit all week,” He sighed again before turning onto his side, “How was your week?”

I turned my body towards him when he poked my shoulder, “Long.”

Seungcheol giggled and I extended my arm to run my fingers through his hair in a comforting manner, “Our geometry professor is slowly killing me. He gave us three more assignments this week and we aren’t even done with the other five he gave us a month ago.”

Seungcheol grimaced and closed his eyes, “Fuck him, he’s such an ass. Who can do so many assignments? It’s not like you are robots.”

“I know…” I sighed and continued to look at Seungcheol until he opened an eye. His forehead had creased and I could see how tense he was even though he tried to relax.

“Hey,” I let my hand rest on top of his as I scooted closer, resting my chin on the edge of the sofa, close to his chest, “You can talk to me, Cheol, when things get hard. Especially now that I know everything. Stop burdening yourself so much.”

A soft smile spread onto his lips and I mirrored it, feeling my heart full of love for the person who stood by me in my most difficult moments, “I love you, you idiot.”

“I love you too, Cheol, massive asshead.” We both started giggling and he interlaced our fingers before his eyes fell on the coffee table.

“Do you need help studying?”

“Are you sure you are ready to compromise your much needed sleep?”

“Anything for the lady.”

“Where do I even start then…”

       I sighed into my scarf as I nuzzled further into it, shielding my face from the cold breeze. Spring came around but the weather was still the same gloomy and cold, like it was all winter. I gripped the straps of my backpack tightly as I leaned against the wall of the building, sipping from my warm coffee I bought from the wending machine placed in the main hall of the University. Classes were over and the economy exam written, to which I studied all night with the help of Seungcheol. I got three hours of sleep and caffeine was the only thing keeping my eyes open and brain running at this point. I really just wanted to go home and sleep until tomorrow, but I had plans with Vernon since last week for today. We decided to grab lunch together and meanwhile my stomach grumbled quietly, I still only wished to go to sleep in my warm bed, shielded from the cold breeze and loud people walking around me. My phone started ringing and I fished it out of my pocket, pushing off the wall of the building.

“Hello.” I greeted loudly as a loud group passed by me.

“Good morning,” Vernon greeted cheekily and I scoffed as I walked towards the front of the institute. I was in the garden beside the library as I had to return a few books.

“Morning was hours ago, Vernon.” I muttered with a grimace as I took another sip of my coffee.

“You sound like you just woke up.”

“I wish,” I sighed into the phone with a pout, kicking a smaller rock in front of me, “I just finished classes.”

“Oh? Already?” Vernon sounded taken aback and I heard shuffling on the line, “I thought you had afternoon classes today—”

“Did you, perhaps, forget that we agreed on a lunch date today?” I asked accusingly, stopping for a second out of surprise. But the sudden anger didn’t last for long when I realized if Vernon wasn’t ready, I could cancel and just go home and sleep.

“Sorry!” Vernon exclaimed, his voice sounded to be away from the phone, he must have put me on speaker, “I didn’t exactly forget! Just a little—”

“You forgot, Vernon.” I cut him off laughing, walking lazily by the side of the building, “It’s fine, actually.”

“How cold is it outside?” His voice was right next to the phone and I hummed as I looked around.

“Cold enough to start freezing after fifteen minutes of staying outside.” I concluded after a few seconds of thinking and Vernon shuffled again.

“Shit!” He called loudly and I chuckled as I finally got to the front of the University. Five guys walked towards me with smiles on their faces and I returned it when I recognized them from Seungcheol’s course.

“Hi, Y/N!” They greeted loudly.

“Hi, guys.” I waved a bit before continuing my walk, “You’re still there, Vernon?”

“Okay, listen—” He took a deep breath and I started grinning, knowing he was about to rush out a really long sentence in one breath, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes, because yeah, I totally forgot that we agreed on that lunch date and I’m really sorry, you can rat my ear off at the restaurant, but do you think you can go inside and wait there for me, because I’ll send you a text when I get there?!”

I laughed as I watched the little crowd gathered on the side walk curiously, “I can totally go inside and wait for you—”

My mouth fell open when a few girls moved away whispering to each other, offering me a clear view of what caused the little commotion. My heart dropped to my stomach and then it started beating faster and faster as I remained a gaping fish.

“Uhm, Y/N?” Vernon asked, confused by my sudden silence. My eyes made contact with the person’s who was laying against his metalized grey Land Cruiser, easily as tall as the car.

“Uhm, yeah—” I muttered back to Vernon as I watched a wide smirk appear on Mingyu’s lips. The guys and girls that were watching us started whispering louder and my cheeks became pink as I nuzzled further into my scarf, “I just—uh, remembered that I have to work today.”

I swallowed hard in regret for having to cancel the lunch with Vernon, but he wasn’t even ready, so I didn’t really waste his time. Mingyu’s gaze electrified my body, suddenly the fatigue I felt disappeared.

“Irene called earlier, I really forgot…” I trailed off as I slowly walked closer to Mingyu, leaving a decent distance between us. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and his muscles bulged through his black leather jacket; he raised his eyebrows.

“Ah, shit,” Vernon sighed disappointed and there was shuffling before his voice was close again, “That’s fine—I was running late either way.”

“I’m really sorry,” I apologized again, unable to look away from Mingyu, “Can we re-schedule?”

“Of course, Friday?” Vernon was excited and I hummed as I took a quick sip of my coffee.

“Friday it is, but it has to be a breakfast date.”

“I’m cool with that, talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later.” I hung up with a smile and finally looked down, breaking eye contact with Mingyu, to put my phone back into my pocket. When I looked back up his eyebrows were furrowed and he pushed off his car, with two long steps he was directly in front of me.

“Who are you going on a date with?” He asked lowly, jaw clenching.

“Vernon, and it’s not that kind of date, so chill.” I answered him while rolling my eyes and Mingyu glared at me.

“I told you to stop seeing Vernon.”

“Yeah, and you thought I’d listen to you—a possessive, manipulative, bossy—”

“Boyfriend.”

“Not boyfriend.” I gave Mingyu a look, which he returned, before he dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes closed and his honey-like cologne filled my nostrils as his soft, tasting like smoke, lips pressed back harder. Then I realized everyone could see us, Seungcheol was still at University, he could see us.

“Mingyu.” I snapped as I pulled back abruptly, eyes boring into his.

“I just wanted to give my sugar a proper greeting—”

“Not in public, you know.” I stepped back and took a sip of, the now lukewarm, coffee.

“I’m tired of sneaking around—” Mingyu snapped and I scoffed.

“Then leave me, easy as that.” I snapped back and Mingyu’s eyes narrowed at me as he lowered his head slightly, to be eye level with me.

“You still think there’s any chance that I’ll ever leave you alone?” A cocky smirk crossed his lips and I had to bite my lower lip from letting my own appear on my lips, “I’ve been obsessed with you since the first time I saw you—”

“I’m still not very keen of you, so—” I interrupted him with a shrug, watching as Mingyu’s eyes darkened just in the slightest.

“These past three weeks we’ve spent together tell me something different, Y/N.” I scoffed, knowing well he was right and I had nothing to say back, so I pushed him back by his shoulder and side stepped him.

“You make me stay out in the cold weather when your warm car is a few feet behind, how gentlemanly of you.”

Before I could open the door for myself, Mingyu gripped my arm and pulled me back slightly, opening the door for me. I rolled my eyes and made sure he saw it as I sat inside and he shut the door for me. I sighed out as the warmth seeped through my body slowly and threw my backpack in the backseat, looking out the window as I drank the last of my coffee. Mingyu entered the car and ignited the engine to life, even more people looking our way at the loud roar of the engine.

“Just drive away and stop showing off, please.” I whined and lowered my head as I quickly buckled up the seatbelt.

“Your wish is my command.” And off we took at a rather aggressive speed. Mingyu wasn’t a patient person and he certainly wasn’t when it came to driving. He sped around like a madman even if there was heavy traffic and made dangerous maneuvers.

“I told you to stop driving like this!” I snapped as I held onto the doorhandle, fearing for my life when Mingyu sped through the third yellow traffic light.

“And you’re still seeing Vernon.” He fired back nonchalantly, his hand coming to rest on my thigh.

“You seriously can’t be comparing something like my friendship with Vernon to you trying to kill us both!” I exclaimed and almost yelped out when pedestrians went to cross the street and Mingyu had to hit the brakes hard, “Please!”

“Fine, fine,” He sighed out, glancing at me, “I’ll drive more carefully.”

“Thank you.” I snapped as my heart continued to race and his palm gave a reassuring squeeze to my thigh.

“Are you taking me home?” I asked when I saw him driving closer to my neighborhood. I couldn’t be happier; I was still tired.

“No.” Mingyu answered shortly and I groaned.

“I’m really sleep, I studied all night with Seungcheol after you left. Just take me home before I fall asleep—”

“But you could still go on your lunch date with Vernon, right? You weren’t asking him to take you home.” Jealousy and venom dripped through Mingyu’s tone and I couldn’t help giggle, amused by his reaction.

“Exactly.” I answered him, placing my palm over his before he could say anything else. I interlaced our fingers and leaned my head against the headrest.

“I’m taking you away from the city.” Mingyu spoke up and I looked at him with raised eyebrows, “But I’m not telling you where to, it’s a surprise.”

“Ah,” I sniffed and pulled my lips in a grimace, “so this is where you finally kill me?”

Mingyu groaned and threw me a quick look, his fingers squeezing mine in warning, “Stop saying shit like that, it’s not hilarious.”

“Yeah, yeah…” I grumbled and bit my lower lip, thinking of how he never answered my text I sent last night while Seungcheol was in the bathroom showering, “Was I too harsh last night? You never answered my text…”

A small smile traced Mingyu’s lips and I looked down at our intertwined hands, “No, I figured you were with Seungcheol, so I didn’t want to cause even more anxiety by answering.”

A smile spread on my lips as I looked up at him, “I was more anxious that I hurt you…”

“You can’t hurt me anymore, sugar.” His pretty smile formed into a smirk and I rolled my eyes, turning my head away from me.

“We’ll speak in the afterlife, after the cops find my body lying in a ditch somewhere.” I muttered quietly to myself, thoughts of me mysteriously dying always swarming in the back of my head. I was exposed to a dangerous world and I wasn’t stupid, I knew what dangers lurked in the shadows. Mingyu wasn’t just anyone. He was a well-known leader in the world of illegal affairs and everyone feared his power and his team. He had many enemies and he also hated many people. I knew one day I could just disappear as a statement for Mingyu from a rival gang. And I was afraid, but maybe it was worth risking it for Mingyu. If I was already going to hell, might as well truly enjoy myself in the meantime.

       It took us a whole hour by the time we got to the place Mingyu had in mind. It was a nice cozy looking house, for which you had to take the highway and then halfway a dirt road that led deep inside the forest to get to it. I looked at Mingyu questioningly a few times as he turned on the car lights, the tall pine trees obscuring the bright sunlight, but he remained focused on driving with the occasional squeeze to our intertwined fingers. I wasn’t necessarily nervous about what we could possibly be doing at a place like this, I was more nervous about what Mingyu had planed for us. Were we here to test my loyalty? Were Joshua and Jeonghan here too, to interrogate me and see if any of my answers match with what they dug up about me? Or did Mingyu just want to spend more time with me in a secluded place? Many thoughts swarmed in my head until the moment we stopped and Mingyu told me to get out of the car. His eyes were glinting with excitement and it slightly eased my nerves, even though I wasn’t sure if he was just excited about something obscure or just about being here. With the loss of the sunlight here, the air was chilly and I shuddered in the cold as I walked up to Mingyu, who seemed to be perfectly fine in the cold weather dressed thinly.

“So…” I cleared my throat and glanced at the pretty, wooden house; it looked like a cabin, “What are we doing here?”

His eyes fell on me and a smirk spread on his lips as he draped an arm around my shoulders, “Scared, sugar?”

I bit my lower lip and matched my steps with his as he started walking towards the house, “Maybe.”

Mingyu chuckled amused as we walked up onto the porch, smirk fading into a small, rare, comforting smile, “We’re here because I want to teach you something, Y/N, relax.”

“Maybe I’ll relax when you tell me what you want to teach me.” I looked up at him as he knocked on the door and he turned his head toward me, pressing a kiss against my forehead.

“I’d ruin the surprise.”

“I hate surprises.” I muttered and sighed, turning towards the door when it opened.

“Oh!” The old man seemed surprised to see us standing in front of his front door, “Mr. Kim! We weren’t expecting you today!”

Mingyu just nodded his head and brushed past the old man, pulling me after him, rudely without even waiting to be invited inside, “I haven’t visited in long. How’s Momo doing?”

The old man tensed at Mingyu’s words and I narrowed my eyes when a teasing smirk made its way onto his lips, “She’s—she’s alright.”

“Is she home?” Mingyu continued, obviously enjoying how uncomfortable the old man looked.

“She’s not—Mr. Kim.” The old man gulped nervously and I caught his eyes glancing behind us for a second. Getting uncomfortable by the interaction between the two men, I cleared my throat.

“I’m Oh Y/N,” I stepped away from Mingyu and extended my hand towards the old man, “Nice to meet you, and sorry for barging in uninvited.”

Mingyu cleared his throat behind me and I watched the old man hesitate before he shook my hand lightly, “Nice to meet you, Miss Oh. I’m Hirai Takumi.”

“Oh, just address me comfortably, Mr. Hirai.” I bowed my head a little as I felt a hand on my shoulder, but the old man quickly shook his head.

“I insist, Miss Oh.” I opened my mouth to speak up again, but Mingyu gave me a look as he pushed me inside a small kitchen.

“Stop being so rude, we didn’t even take off our shoes!” I whisper-shouted at Mingyu as Mr. Hirai rushed past us inside the kitchen.

“We don’t have to be respectful while we are here.” Mingyu said with a shrug and loudly sat in the chair by the table. I threw him a hard glare as I watched the poor old man scramble around the kitchen. I felt uncomfortable, disrespectful and pity towards him. So, I took off my shoes swiftly and left them in the doorway before I walked up to the man and took the little cups from his hands.

“But Miss Oh—” He exclaimed and I threw him a small glare to silence him. He didn’t say anything else as he took the teapot and avoided Mingyu’s eyes as he walked to the table to place it down. Mingyu was glaring back at both the man and me as I placed a teacup in front of him and the other at the vacant seat.

“That’s for Miss Oh—”

“I’m not thirsty, Mr. Hirai, take a seat and drink instead of me.” I spoke with a small smile and the old man stood rooted as he watched Mingyu. When I turned my glare at Mingyu he sighed and with a nod the old man was sitting and pouring tea for Mingyu and himself. I also sat in the last empty chair at the table and watched the two men quietly.

“Where’s your wife?” Mingyu asked after he drank from the tea.

“She’s working—in town, Mr. Kim.” The old man hurriedly answered.

“I suppose that’s what Momo is doing also?” That devilish smirk spread onto Mingyu’s lips again and I glared at him as the old man looked down at the table.

“Ye—yes.” He whispered as an answer and visibly jumped when Mingyu dumped his gun on the table. Why the hell are we here? And what is going on between these two?

“Mr.—Mr. Kim, I��”

“Hoshi will come tomorrow to talk business with you, old man, however, right now, I’m here with my woman to teach her how to shoot.” Mingyu interrupted Mr. Hirai and stood up, pulling me up from the chair as well, “I suppose you still have those weapons?”

“Of course!” Mr. Hirai sprung to his feet and bowed his head, “They are in the barn, do you want me to walk you there?”

“No, I know my way around.” The smirk was back on Mingyu’s lips and I couldn’t watch the old man flinch anymore, so I grabbed Mingyu’s arm and pulled him away from the kitchen. He paused as I took on my shoes and when I went to open my mouth and scold him, he grabbed my nape and started walking me towards the back of the house. I hissed and threw him a glare when he didn’t let go, but Mingyu ignored me as he continued to walk me from behind. I didn’t miss the way his eyes ran up the stairs and fixated on a door for a second longer than it was necessary, but the door of the barn was in front of me and I gave it a push.

“Can you let go of me?” I finally snapped, annoyed by the way he was walking me around.

“No.” Mingyu simply hummed and lightly tugged on my nape, hauling me in the opposite direction that I was trying to walk in. I threw him a side-eyed glare but he wasn’t looking at me, eyes focused on a chest. He leaned down and opened it with one hand; my eyes widened when it fell on the various weapons hidden inside.

“What is this place?” I muttered to myself, heart starting to beat quickly when Mingyu smirked back at me, with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“My fun place.” His smirk spread wider and I stepped back when he finally let go of my nape. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and watched him rummage through the weapons with a frown and grimace.

“These are all old as fuck…” He muttered to himself as he picked up a large shotgun, “I told the old man to change them…”

My stomach rumbled loudly and I looked away when Mingyu threw me an amused look, I never got to eat and I was pretty much starving at the moment. I hoped Mingyu would just ignore it and not demand the old man to serve us with food as well, I realized how much he wanted us out of his house. Mr. Hirai was terrified of Mingyu and I was so curious as to why.

“Come, sugar.” Mingyu straightened back up, with a rifle and a smaller handgun in his hands and walked to the rotten door and pushed it open. I looked at him for a second longer before I followed him out, the back of the house led directly into the woods. There was a long table placed out at least twenty steps away from where we were standing and the pine trees around the area had all sorts of men made scars in their trunks. On the long table there were ten beer bottles and Mingyu turned toward me with a serious expression.

“This,” He raised the rifle to be eye level with us, “Is an AR-15 rifle, made in the US.”

I hummed and watched him curiously, “If you push this button, the magazine comes out. First, you check to see if you have bullets, okay?”

“Okay.” I muttered quietly, hugging myself tighter. I wasn’t foreign to weapons but I never felt comfortable around them. Mingyu was serious, eyebrows frowning, as he took his time explaining the weapon and how to use it.

“You slide back the loaded magazine and then pull the charging handle,” He pulled it back easily, it made a loud clicking sound; I gulped, “If you push this down, the safety is off, you push it back up, the safety is on, understood?”

I cleared my throat and made eye contact with Mingyu, he had a dangerous glint in his eyes, “Understood.”

“Cool, now,” He hoisted the gun up, the end coming to rest against left shoulder as he came to stand next to me, “Safety off and—”

He fired twice, the loud sound made me jump and slightly step behind him, and he clearly hit two beer bottles spot on, breaking them, “That’s how you do it, sugar. Your turn.”

“Mine?” I asked with a frown, glaring at the rifle, “I don’t want to shoot with that.”

“Sugar, this is not about what you want and what you don’t want.” Mingyu said impatiently with a sigh and I heard a click, he pushed the safety on, “You have to learn this.”

“No, I don’t.” I argued with him stubbornly, taking a step back when he extended his arm for me to take the weapon, “I don’t want to hold that.”

“Y/N,” With his free hand he gripped my nape again and tugged my closer, “There will be times when no one will be able to protect you but you, yourself. Alright? You have to be ready and knowing how to defend yourself with a weapon, is the first step in your journey, okay?”

“I know how to shoot with a gun, okay?” I snapped loudly, glaring at Mingyu when his eyebrows rose mockingly, “You’re not the first person who tries teaching me how to use a gun, okay?”

“This is a rifle.”

“Rifle or whatever!” I exclaimed and slapped his arm away, “My father and Seungcheol already taught me.”

“Then show me.” He said with a shrug and pressed the rifle against my chest harshly, leaving no room for argument. I glared at him and took the weapon with a sigh, the weight of it foreign in my arms.

“If you want to teach me how to defend myself, teach me hand-to-hand combat, not this bullshit.”

“This is not bullshit,” Mingyu rolled his eyes and stopped me when I went to position the rifle against my shoulder, “What did I just teach you?”

“Check the magazine first.” I muttered and quickly pushed the button he pointed at and held the magazine in my hand. Mingyu hummed contently so I slid it back in then went to pull the charging handle, which was a lot harder to do than Mingyu made it look like.

“And you will learn hand-to-hand combat too, when the right time comes.” I threw him a glance as I raised the rifle, positioning it against my right shoulder, just like Mingyu did before. He came to stand behind me and his body warmth invaded mine, making me shudder. He corrected my posture and his finger curled next to mine on the trigger.

“Safety off.” He whispered in my ear and pressed a kiss against it, making me gulp loudly. I pressed the safety down and Mingyu took a tiny step back to watch me. I closed my right eye and started firing towards the beer cans, my ears ringing from the loud gunshots that went off next to my ear. I shot until I emptied the magazine and when I lowered the rifle, with the safety on, I frowned seeing that I only shot three bottles.

“Sugar,” Mingyu chuckled and gripped my cold, rosy, cheeks, “I thought you said you knew how to shoot!”

“I do!” I snapped, eyebrows furrowing, “With a handgun, I never held a rifle before…”

“Did no one tell you to keep both eyes open? So that you see your target clearly? You watch too many movies…” He trailed off and shook his head, pressing a quick kiss against my lips before he strolled towards the long table.

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered to myself as I watched Mingyu place ten new bottles on the table, “Both eyes open, right?”

I raised the riffle again and placed it against my right shoulder, adjusting my grip on the trigger as I kept both eyes open, pointing it at the first bottle. Mingyu was still standing there and when he turned around, unintentionally, the rifle was pointed at him directly. The safety was still on, but he didn’t know that, and we stared into each other’s eyes, unmoving. Mingyu went stiff and I could see as his eyes darkened even from where I was standing, his shoulders moving back as he adjusted his leather jacket. He never expected me to point a gun at him, let alone a rifle, even though he’s done it twice to me now. And once he even pulled the trigger, even if it was an unloaded weapon, he pulled the trigger. His left hand sneaked in his pocket and instinctively my finger pushed the safety off and wrapped around the trigger, my body going rigid. Yes, I trusted him most of the time, but the little voices in my head telling me that he could kill me still anytime, were screaming at me that this was that time. You could never know when you had a mafia leader standing in front of you, with a hand hidden in its jacket’s pocket. I let out a quiet sigh when he pulled his hand out and held the pack of cigarettes, slowly starting to walk towards me. I subtly pushed the safety back on and cleared my throat when Mingyu stopped at the end of the rifle, chest pressing against it. His eyes still watched me like a hawk as he lit one cigarette and inhaled deeply from it. I watched, and felt through the rifle, as his lungs expanded then decreased. He blew the smoke out in one long breath and it floated into my face. I narrowed my eyes but didn’t flinch.

“What a fucking woman.” He muttered to himself with a chuckle before he stepped away, coming to stand behind me at a good distance to not bother me. I pushed the safety down and now with both eyes open, I focused on the bottles and started firing. Shards of glass flew around the table as I hit all ten this time, shattering them all in half. My heart thumped loudly and my ears rung as I lowered the rifle with shaky hands, pushing the safety back on. I turned my head to look at Mingyu, who was watching me pridefully with a big smirk on his lips.

“See what it does if you keep both eyes on the prey?” I chuckled and handed him the rifle back as he looked over it, “Well, seems like my training takes an end here.”

“So soon?” I raised my eyebrows as he took another puff of his cigarette, “You think this is enough?”

“Did you hit all ten bottles?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, this is enough for you,” He chuckled and threw his finished cigarette on the green floor of the forest, making me frown, “You said you know how to use a handgun, I have nothing else to teach you.”

“And you had to take me here? For nothing?” I groaned as Mingyu walked up to me.

“This wasn’t nothing.” He rolled his eyes and I mirrored him.

“Yeah, it was.”

“Shut up, I got to spend time with you,” He muttered and leaned down to press another kiss against my lips, longer this time. He tasted of smoke again and I pulled back when I felt his tongue trying to push my lips apart.

“No, not here,” I muttered, running my hand through his still curly hair, “I’m freezing and starving and tired. You only get a kiss if I’m satisfied with my needs.”

“Fair enough, sugar,” He smirked and intertwined our fingers, “Let’s go then, but I’m not taking you home.”

“Didn’t I just tell you what I want?” I groaned as I closed the barn door behind us, Mingyu threw the rifle on the creaky floorboards uncaringly.

“You never said you wanted to do all of that at your apartment.” His smirk was cheeky and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Where else at can I do them then?” We walked inside the house and Mingyu didn’t bother to close the door as he pulled me down the hallway.

“My house, of course,” Mingyu chuckled and glanced back at me, “There Seungcheol can’t interrupt us at least.”

I bit my lip as I thought back to the first, and only, time I was at his mansion. I wanted to argue with him more, but his mansion was too nice and he knew I liked it. It was everyone’s dream place, I wasn’t about to turn down a dinner there cooked by Mingyu, who apparently has some nice culinary skills.

“But I’m sleeping at home, Seungcheol will notice that I didn’t return for the night.”

“Fine—” Mingyu stopped in the doorway when we spotted Mr. Hirai sitting on the staircase leading upstairs, “Go clean up, old man. Sleep tight tonight and make sure to bake those pastries for Hoshi tomorrow, you know he’s nicer to you when you give him those.”

“Yes, Mr. Kim.,” Mr. Hirai bowed as he stood, averting his gaze, “Have a pleasant afternoon, Mrs. Oh.”

“Thank you, you too!” I bowed my head before Mingyu could pull me after him and I watched as Mr. Hirai’s eyes turned sad as he closed the door after us. I let Mingyu walk me to his car and open the door for me.

“Who is this man and what’s your business with him?” I spoke up once Mingyu sat inside, turning towards him.

“No one that should concern you, you won’t see him ever again—” He started the car and I frowned at his words, “So forget about him.”

“You should treat him with respect, he’s your elder.”

“And he’s also a liar and thief.” He snapped with a scoff and I looked out the window.

“Just don’t speed around, please.” I dropped the topic, not wanting to piss him off while we were in the car. Mingyu just hummed and turned on the radio, all conversation ceasing between us as I closed my eyes and let my head rest against the headrest.

          My body jumped when I felt a hand gently cup my cheek, alerting me awake. I hummed and nuzzled into the warm touch as best as I could, sighing when a finger tenderly stroked my skin. Slowly, I realized the car wasn’t moving anymore and it was quiet inside too, the radio turned off.

“Wake up, sugar, we’re home.” Mingyu whispered and I sighed, his breath fanning my face.

“Home?” I asked, voice raspy, and slowly opened both eyes. The lights coming from the outside were dim and I watched as Mingyu smiled fondly at me, his finger still stroked my cheek.

“Yeah, home.” He whispered and my heart skipped a beat at the softness of his voice, a vulnerability I’ve never heard before coating his words. His defenses seemed to disappear as he looked at me quietly, his eyes running over my face. His forehead had faint wrinkles and his lips were pouty when he was serious, his eyes narrowed just the slightest bit. His dark irises offered comfort and my heart started beating quickly, a feeling of content overtaking me.

“Did I sleep the whole ride back?” I broke the comfortable silence and Mingyu hummed, leaning closer. I watched him curiously as he pressed a long kiss to my forehead, his warm touch disappearing from my cheek when he pulled back. I wanted to grip his hand and place it back where it was, but Mingyu was out of the car before I could do that. Sighing, I took my backpack from the backseat, undid my seatbelt, and exited the Land Cruiser. Stepping outside, I realized we were standing in Mingyu’s garage, he did take me back to his mansion after all.

“How does takeaway sound?” His loud voice rang through the garage and I shivered at the coldness as I walked up to him; he was standing in front of the door that led inside the house.

“Anything that comes fast is good, I’m seriously starving.” I muttered, rubbing my empty stomach when it rumbled loudly, “I’ve never been this hungry before.”

Mingyu chuckled and intertwined our fingers as he pushed the door open and brought me inside with him. Instantly, the warm air warmed me up and my eyes fell on the pool that was inside, making a mental note to ask Mingyu to let me swim in it once. I loved spending a day or two doing nothing at the pool when it was summer.

“We have some leftover from yesterday, you can eat those before we order anything.” Mingyu spoke as he pulled me around the house, the ground floor I was already familiar with. We stopped in the hallway to take off our shoes and coats, I placed my backpack on the marble floor and put on the slippers Mingyu pushed my way.

“You’ve never been upstairs, right?” Mingyu looked at me with his eyebrows raised and I glanced behind him, eyes running up the marble staircase. I looked back at him and nodded my head no.

“Let me show you around then.” He extended his hand again and I took it, rubbing my eyes to make the sleepiness go away. We didn’t go straight upstairs, however, we walked past the marble staircase and towards the only room I haven’t seen from downstairs. He pushed the white door open and my eyes fell on different machines you see in the gym. The room was big and breezy, the air conditioning was still on as if someone had just been in the room.

“You even have your own gym, huh.” I muttered, turning my head to look at him, “I could come around and work out sometimes.”

“You go to the gym?” Mingyu asked surprised, closing the door again.

“I’ve been there once with Vernon and it was enough for a lifetime.” Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed and I threw him a look, silencing him even before he could say anything about Vernon. We walked towards the marble staircase and Mingyu teasingly bowed his head and made way for me to go up first, but we both came to a halt when someone cleared their throat. I turned my head towards the living room, where the voice came from, and quickly jumped away from Mingyu, ripping my hand away from his.

“Fancy seeing you here, Y/N,” Wonwoo’s deep voice echoed around as Mingyu glared at me for my reaction, “Also fancy seeing you two can’t greet.”

“I had no idea you were home. I didn’t see your car in the garage.” Mingyu said with a shrug and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. My eyebrows rose as I looked between the two males.

“Home?” I spoke up confused, looking at Wonwoo for answers.

“He didn’t tell you?” Wonwoo chuckled and started walking towards us, a book in his hands, “I live here too. This is our house—”

“It’s my house, but Wonwoo miraculously moved in one day without even asking me if I was alright with it, so…” Mingyu cut Wonwoo off with a scoff and I gaped at the two.

“But last time I was here—”

“I was running an errand, that’s why you didn’t see me inside.” Wonwoo answered with a smile as he stood at the foot of the stairs, leaning against the railing.

“But you picked me up—”

“Yeah,” He chuckled and started walking up the stairs, Mingyu and I made space for him, “How do you think I got here so fast? I had just arrived home when Mingyu called me.”

“I see.” I muttered and bit my lower lip as I watched Wonwoo casually strut to a room. He stopped after he opened the door and turned towards us to give us a wink before he disappeared inside and shut the door closed. Still biting my lower lip, I looked at Mingyu with a glare.

“And now why are you glaring at me?” He asked with a scoff as he continued his walk up the stairs, me hot on his tails.

“Because you never told me Wonwoo lived with you and that ultimately led to him seeing us holding hands!” I whisper-shouted, still glaring at Mingyu’s broad back.

“Wonwoo is way more observant than you think, we don’t have to tell him or show him that we are together, he already knows—”

“Because you told him!” I accused Mingyu as I followed him blindly towards a room.

“I didn’t!” He was quick to defend himself, throwing me a small glare as he opened the door, “I told you he’s observant.”

“As if I believe that, you always brag about shit, Mingyu—” I stopped talking when Mingyu grabbed my waist from behind and pushed me lightly further inside the big bedroom. It was Mingyu’s bedroom, his honey-like scent was everywhere with a tinge of light smoke floating in the air. My eyes took in the big room, a round bed sat in the middle of it, the sheets a light green. He had a big TV hung on the wall opposite the bed with a fireplace underneath it. There were some cushions laying on the marble floor here and there, the colors a mix of light green and white. He had a walk-in wardrobe that you could see inside from here and probably a private bathroom as well.  I was surprised to see so many plants inside the room and a big bookshelf filled with tons of books. A professional looking camera was placed on his nightstand, with a few polaroid’s laying messily around it.

“This is my room,” Mingyu muttered next to my ear as he rested his chin against my shoulder, “It’s a lot cooler than yours.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, nudging his side softly. Yeah, it was a lot bigger than mine, but I live in an apartment and he literally lives in a mansion.

“Is this the moment where you finally get me in your bed?” I asked teasingly, turning my head and making our noses brush against each other.

“As much as I’d love to—” Mingyu groaned and bit my lower lip playfully, “It’s not. You haven’t seen my office yet.”

“I have permission to step inside your office?” I asked him teasingly as we left his bedroom, walking towards a dark wood colored door, “Isn’t it like…forbidden for others?”

“This office? No.” Mingyu answered with an amused chuckle, pushing the door open, “The office at the headquarter is forbidden to certain people, however.”

“Can I still go inside?” I asked with a pout, making Mingyu smirk as he turned on the lights.

“We’ll see when we get there, sugar.” He let go of my hand and walked further inside, drawing the curtains closed and I pouted when the beautiful night view of the city was gone. His office was dark, unlike the rest of the house which was mostly covered in white marble, and it was also smaller. He had bookcases on both sides of the wall and a big mahogany desk sitting close to the big windows.

“Wonwoo likes to read, so these are practically his books.” Mingyu explained when he saw my eyes running over the bookcases once again.

“Did you put them here just for him?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“No,” Mingyu chuckled and leaned against his desk, “They were here before too, just a lot less filled with books.”

“You don’t like to read?” I hummed as I walked around the room, my fingers running over the material of the black, leather sofa.

“Not my favorite activity.” Mingyu muttered and I hummed as I pulled the curtain just a bit to be able to peek outside.

“What’s your favorite activity…besides stalking me.” I added with a pointed look towards Mingyu and he laughed quietly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Other than ruining others lives, you mean?” He mused quietly to himself, watching me as I walked up to him, coming to a stop in front of him, “Spending my time with you.”

I fought the smile that tried to break onto my lips and crossed my arms in front of my chest, trying to look at him accusingly, “Before me? I wasn’t always in your life.”

“I didn’t do much before,” He said with a shrug and extended his arms, to rest them against my waist, “I invest too much of my time into my work and I don’t have time for other activities that I could enjoy—”

“Come on!” I groaned and undid my arms, resting them on his shoulders, “You were a kid too once! You definitely didn’t sit around your house every day, doing nothing.”

Mingyu’s eyes darkened at the mention of his childhood and I raised my eyebrows questioningly, stepping between his legs when he pulled me into him. He watched me with narrowed eyes before pressing his lips against mine. I rolled my eyes but kissed him back, excusing him for dodging the subject for once. He hated talking about his childhood and whenever I brough it up he did something to change the subject. I knew it wasn’t my place to constantly push him, but I just wanted to get to know him better. Knowing someone’s childhood gave you an insight onto that person, a chance to get to know them better, to paint a general image of them. Mingyu was an enigma and I always wanted to know more about him, feeling like there always would be layers that I wouldn’t get to, because there wasn’t enough time for us.

“I like taking pictures.” He muttered against my lips as he pulled back from the kiss, his eyes still closed. I hummed and pressed a soft kiss against his left cheek, then his right cheek. Mingyu sighed quietly and I smiled, pecking his nose.

“You’re tired,” I muttered and he opened his eyes, pupils dilated, “Let’s order that takeout and call it a day…we are both tired, actually.”

“Are you sleeping over then?” Mingyu asked hopefully, eyes fixated on my lips. I licked them and unconsciously leaned further into him, letting his warmth envelope me.

“No, I’ll call a cab.” I whispered and shut him up with a kiss, easily slipping my tongue inside his mouth as he opened his to argue. He tasted like smoke and something sweet, and I yelped when I was hoisted up in the air, legs wrapping around Mingyu’s hips in fear that he’d drop me. He kissed me hungrily as he turned around and my ass came in contact with the hard surface of the wooden desk, as Mingyu gently placed me on top of it. My fingers tangled in his curly hair and I pulled on the roots when Mingyu harshly sucked on my tongue, making me tighten my legs around his hips.

“I can never get enough of you.” Mingyu mumbled against my lips and I smirked, playfully biting his jaw, “You’re so sweet.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment and then our lips were moving against each other feverishly again, my fingers tangled in his locks at his nape, as Mingyu tried to push me down on the desk. I placed one hand on the desk and leaned down on that elbow, Mingyu’s hand running down from my neck, breasts, to the hem of my shirt. He slipped his warm hand underneath and I moaned at the feeling, heartrate picking up once again. My cheeks were flushed and my lungs screaming for air, but I could never get enough of his lips. He ignited a fire inside me that I never wanted to stop feeling. As Mingyu’s hand started traveling up on my skin, I buckled my hips instinctively and he groaned when I accidentally grinded down on his growing member. My back curved the slightest when he let his hand rest on my breast, feeling the perky bud, and my free hand travelled to the belt of his pants, fumbling around to undo it.

“Mingyu—Oh!” The shrieking voice made Mingyu and I jump and we bumped our foreheads together. I hissed and Mingyu stared into my eyes for a second with want and regret, before pulling back from me and helping me sit straight up on the desk. I huffed and ran a hand through my hair, angry that yet again someone interrupted us, but anxious that someone caught us making out. However, when my eyes fell on a familiar blonde head, they narrowed into slits. What’s the blonde woman from the auction doing here? Do Mingyu and her know each other?

“Kim Mingyu!” She shrieked again, seemingly unphased by what she saw a minute ago, and completely ignored my existence. I glanced at Mingyu questioningly as his infamous smirk was back on his lips, he seemed to be ignoring me too. I cleared my throat and got off the desk, standing up straight. The woman walked inside with swaying hips, her short and revealing dress clung to her body perfectly.

“I wasn’t expecting you tonight, Sana.” Mingyu’s tone got velvety and almost flirty. I narrowed my eyes at him as the woman, Sana, giggled with a high pitch and stopped incredibly close in front of Mingyu. My jaw clenched when Mingyu didn’t step back, instead he pressed a kiss against the corner of her mouth. I gulped down the anger that was bubbling up and cleared my throat again, gaining their attention for once. All warmness, vulnerability, and affection were gone from Mingyu’s eyes as he watched me with a neutral expression, his smirk never faltering. The woman raised one eyebrow and extended her hand giggling.

“Minatozaki Sana,” She said with her high-pitched voice, I realized that’s what her voice was like, “And you are…”

“Oh Y/N.” I took her hand and gripped it firmly, shaking it with a warning squeeze, but I made sure to keep my voice leveled and warm. I didn’t know if my anger was showing, or the discomfort I was feeling, but Mingyu seemed to grow amused at the exchange between Sana and I.

“Oh!” Sana exclaimed once again and I let go of her hand, not missing the subtle glare, “I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?”

“Oh,” I faked my confusion, eyebrows softly furrowing, “We’ve met before? I don’t think so…I usually remember significant people.”

Sana gulped and a sweet smile ran over her lips as an airy chuckle left her mouth, eyes running over my body in a quick check out.

“Well…” She spoke up, placing a possessive hand on Mingyu’s shoulder, “My memory must be better than yours than…I’m here to talk business, Mingyu, who’s she again?”

I looked at Mingyu, biting the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from ripping her hand off my man. She clearly saw us making out, what was she putting on this act for? I watched Mingyu expectantly and impatiently, but he didn’t even look at me as he answered Sana.

“You’re here for business, right? Then who she is, is not important.” I took a deep breath, counting to five to stop myself from punching Mingyu and dragging this woman away from him by her fake blonde hair. Sana giggled and looked back me, her red lips pulling into another sweet smile, but her eyes narrowed malevolently. I glared at Mingyu, but when he avoided eye contact, I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone to talk business.” I snapped with a honey-like tone, threw Sana a warning glare, then strutted to the door and slammed it hard behind me once I was out the room. My jaw clenched as I took deep breaths, palms turning into fists as I stopped myself from waltzing back inside the office to drag the woman out and away from Mingyu. I cleared my throat and my eyes fell on Wonwoo’s closed door; would I be bothering him very much if I were to ask him to drive me home? I didn’t like bothering him, but I really needed to rant to someone right now, and he was the only one who, apparently, already knew about Mingyu and I. But feeling like I would be bothering him, I stormed downstairs and into the kitchen, opening Mingyu’s fridge aggressively. If I didn’t eat right now, I think I’ll pass out. I took out the leftover rice that sat at the back of the fridge and one big tomato. I sat at the marble counter and started eating, stuffing my mouth with nothing else but rice and tomato. My blood was boiling at the thought of that filthy woman staying alone with Mingyu in his office to talk business. If she acted like that when I was around, even though she doesn’t know I’m Mingyu’s girlfriend, then I don’t even want to imagine what she’s doing right now, when I’m not there. I sighed and paused eating, closing my eyes to clear my mind. I can’t be this jealous, I’m not a jealous person; I have to trust Mingyu. Would he really chase me for six months to leave me for the first woman that throws herself at him? I’m sure this happens very often, he’s a very handsome and powerful man, but it still leaves a bad aftertaste in my mouth. What if him chasing me for six months was just his way of having a little fun? What if I am worth nothing in his eyes, like he said, I’m not important. But then all those tender moments we shared the past three weeks were fake? When he looks at me so vulnerably, that can’t be fake, right? I sighed and rose to my feet to start rummaging around the cupboards, see if I could find anything to cook dinner for Wonwoo, myself and…Mingyu. I’m sure Wonwoo hasn’t eaten anything as the fridge is pretty much empty and there’s no takeaway.

           In the end, I found some noodles hidden deep inside a cupboard, and as they weren’t expired yet, I decided to cook them. They didn’t have anything much around, so I just boiled the water for it and cut the bags containing the flavor open. I heard feet thudding lightly against the marble floors as they descended the stairs and I tensed, ready to see Sana’s annoying face. But I was met instead with a smiling Wonwoo.

“Ah, what smells so tasty?” I chuckled and sighed out, raising a stray noodle into the air.

“I found some not expired instant noodles in your cupboard, so…I guess that’s what we are having for dinner.” I said with a shrug and Wonwoo walked inside the kitchen, sitting at the counter, opposite me.

“That sounds great.” He muttered and placed his book on the counter, intertwining his hands and resting his chin on top of them, “I’m really hungry.”

“Yeah, I’ve been starving the whole day. I only had breakfast.” I answered him, eyes falling on the half eaten rice I found in the fridge, “When Mingyu said you had some leftovers, I didn’t think he meant just rice.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo laughed, his deep laughter bringing a smile onto my lips, “I cooked his favorite dish, we ate it all.”

“He has a favorite dish?” I muttered with a sigh, letting my shoulders slouch as the noodles were almost cooked.

“I heard Sana is here—”

“Who wouldn’t hear her shrieking voice?!” I said with a scoff and Wonwoo nodded. As I looked at him, I just noticed he was wearing round glasses.

“She can be annoying, yeah.” Wonwoo said quietly, fingers tracing the cover of his book, “You don’t have to worry—”

“I’m not!” I snapped a bit too quickly, clearing my throat when Wonwoo shot me an understanding look, “There’s no—nothing to worry about, right?”

“There really isn’t.” He answered back reassuringly and I hummed, turning off the gas underneath the boiling noodles.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses…” I trailed off with a smile and Wonwoo chuckled, pushing them up on his nose.

“I have bad eyesight, I’m too lazy to wear contacts at home.” He explained as he opened his book to the page where he left off at.

“I understand…” I muttered quietly as Wonwoo went back to reading. Finding a strainer after five minutes of searching for it, I poured the hot water with the noodles into it, filtering the two apart. I dumped the noodles back into the pot I boiled them in and sprinkled the bag containing the sauce and flavor over it, mixing them well together. Wonwoo continued to read as I moved around the kitchen quietly, preparing three plates and chopsticks for us to eat with. Just as Wonwoo closed his book and took his glasses off, voices from upstairs filled the silence as they grew closer and closer. Wonwoo and I shared a look and I leaned against the cold counter; arms crossed in front of my chest.

“Stop! That was so funny!” Sana shrieked as they came in view, eyes widening when she saw me still there.

“You cooked dinner?” Mingyu’s eyebrows rose as his neutral expression slipped a bit.

“She did, so hurry up with your business, Mingyu.” Wonwoo spoke instead of me, his deep voice demanding and accusing. Sana’s eyes traveled between the three of us and a sick smirk crossed her lips, she clapped her hands together and made a sound of disbelief.

“You finally hired a maid, Mingyu!” The oxygen left my lungs and I felt as my cheeks slowly grew warm, teeth clenching so hard together, I was afraid I’d break them. Mingyu’s jaw ticked as well, but he did a good job of smoothing out his expression, even having the audacity to laugh. Wonwoo was on his feet, arms crossed in front of his chest, as he glared at Sana unimpressed.

“She’s—”

“I’m unsure how you run things in Japan, Sana, but I’m sure your mother, or sister, or brother, or father aren’t your maids… I mean, you cook too, don’t you?” I asked, while pushing my hair behind my shoulders, chuckling fakely, as I watched Sana’s smirk slowly slip from her lips, “I wish I could invite you to have dinner with us, but, Mingyu, my boyfriend, forgot to tell me he was having you over for business…”

Upon hearing me call Mingyu my boyfriend, Sana’s amused expression disappeared altogether and I could see Wonwoo smirk from my peripheral vision. Even Mingyu’s lips pulled up in a big, prideful, smirk and he placed a hand on Sana’s shoulder, rather harshly.

“You heard my girlfriend, I’ll see you soon for more business, Sana,” He turned the blonde woman around and walked her towards the front entrance, “Lovely seeing you tonight.”

“Ah,” We could hear Sana giggled, “Sweet dreams, Mingyu.”

I took a seat at the counter and pushed the pot of noodle in the middle; Wonwoo sat down too, but he didn’t stop smirking. I threw him a small glare as I put noodles in my plate and he too put some in his, as Mingyu’s loud footsteps approached us. I looked up at him when he stopped next to me with a glare and his smirk extended into a wide grin, his canines showing.

“I’m your boyfriend, huh?” His tone wasn’t mocking, it was pleased, and I glared at him.

“Sit down and eat while there’s still food.” I snapped and looked away from him, eyes falling on an amused Wonwoo.

“You’re not my boyfriend.” I snapped and made sure he heard me, especially after this whole thing with Sana.

“Really? Because you clearly—”

“Wonwoo,” I cut Mingyu’s words off, ignoring him when he scooted his chair closer to mine, “Would you mind driving me home?”

“Of course, not—”

“I’ll drive you home.” Mingyu said with a scoff, but I just ignored him. I don’t want to see him tonight anymore, or I might punch him in the face.

“Thank you, Wonwoo, I appreciate it a lot.” I offered the man a smile and he returned it, sneaking a glance towards Mingyu. I could feel Mingyu glaring at me as he dumped the remaining noodle on his plate, but I didn’t look at him.

“And Wonwoo—” Wonwoo looked at me with his eyebrows raised, chewing his food, “Please, don’t tell anyone about Mingyu and I.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” He muttered reassuringly and I sighed quietly, slowly eating my food. Even my appetite was gone now. I felt Mingyu shift beside me and then he was pressing his lips against my cheek in a hasty kiss. I ignored it, but my heart skipped a beat. I needed a day, at least, to cool off and forget about Sana, and how Mingyu acted around her towards me.

“Thank you for cooking dinner.” Mingyu whispered into my ear and I hummed, staring down into my plate as I continued eating the food I cooked. Yeah, I definitely need to sleep as soon as I get home.

Part 4

[cryptiql]

cherry starbursts

pairing: bakugou/reader (male reader in mind but is gender neutral)

warnings: none, i think?? lots of cussing though, courtesy of lord explosion murder

words: 3.6k

a/n: yuzuya's audios giving me so much brainrot...gonna be thinking about this all week. also the way this started out as god tier writing but gradually turned into shit at the end 🏃 nonetheless, i hope i did this gremlin man justice </3

a contemplative hum tickles your throat as you observe the paragraph laid out before you, the pads of your fingers tingling as you trail them across the pages. on the occasions where you've found your nose nestled deep within them, a muted scent of pears and sawdust would invade your senses, and the urge to rest your head in the plains of your chemistry textbook would become overwhelming. however, the threat of being cuffed over the head by a rolled up magazine makes you think twice about slacking off, so you begrudgingly slump back into your seat with a resigned huff. the clock in your dorm is no doubt ticking away like always; the second hand rounding at great speeds while the minute and hour hands crawl by at a sluggish pace; but you aren't there to hear it.

instead, you reside in bakugou's room, basking in the unencumbered atmosphere created solely by his diligent efforts to keep his space clean and organized. it's just the way he is, you have to remind yourself. not because you stubbed your toe on his dumbbells last week and he felt sufficiently guilty as to make sure nothing was in your path the next time you visited. that would be silly. all that considered, bakugou's room isn't much different from your own—save for the few comfort objects brought from home that give off a hospitable air—but the lack of stimulus it holds is apparent. anything that could disturb your tranquil study date has either been stored away or placed beyond your reach.

damn him, the bastard! he's completely oblivious, you silently muse, bracing your elbows on the desk to plant your face in the palms of your hands. you chastise yourself at the same moment for forgetting your headphones, but in your defense, bakugou screaming for you to hurry up had prompted a hasty departure. if he had the patience to wait two more minutes. . .

rather than finishing the thought, you pull the textbook closer, hoping that somehow the enlarged print will stick to your brain like a temporary tattoo. you only need this information long enough to pass the exam, but once it's over, you swear you'll never mention anything chemistry related unless it's the bond between you and your neighbor. the idle scratching of pencil led against paper erupts from his side of the room, lessening the static in your head by a fraction, but it doesn't last. he mutters something unintelligible under his breath as you spin in your chair to look at him in desperation.

he remains ignorant for the next minute or so, only glancing up at you briefly before returning to his notes. your nostrils flare as you reach down to untangle your laces and pull off your shoe. you chickened out last time this happened, but being ignored has successfully fed the flames of your frustration, and you simply will not stand for it any longer. you blame your sleep-addled mentality for the lack of better aim, but it stokes your pride when bakugou flinches as your shoe hurdles past his shoulder.

"the hell was that for, dumbass!?" he growls, his eyes narrowing into slits. you respond with a high pitched whine; one that would be considered overexaggerated in his opinion, but in yours, was perfectly reasonable when being held against your will to study a subject that has no business being this tedious. "sukiii, i'm booored."

the blonde makes a 'tch' sound, positioning his arm in a warning manner before throwing his pencil at you, which you manage to catch easily. you revel in the deflated expression he wears, twirling the pencil between your fingers and kicking a leg over one arm of the chair. all this, while never breaking eye contact, was sure to break through to him. you're hopeful, what with the way katsuki's gaze—gradually failing to hide his infatuation—travels over your build from head to toe. whether because you giggle at his reaction or decide to kick your feet like a giddy child, he snaps out of his trance with an all too familiar scowl and shuts his own textbook with unnecessary force. his demanding stare is fixated on you as he tosses it haphazardly to the edge of the bed.

"give me back my pencil, idiot." he completely ignores your previous statement and jumps straight into business, as always. "give me back my shoe first, hot stuff." you challenge, smirking in a way that you very well know gets him hot under the collar. the teasing endearment will either put the odds in your favor; earning you your shoe as desired, and perhaps the lovely little blush that often dusts his face whenever you flirt with him; or seal your fate in hell where the everlasting flames may burn similarly, if not just as hotter than bakugou's explosions. it has taken years of practice to uphold your smug attitude in the face of his unyielding rage; nose wrinkled and canines grinding. even now, he is the image of perfection—a powerful god emblazoned in brimstone and baneful inferno—and you, a mere lover of art. after a moment, bakugou's resolve seems to falter. his piecing glare relents only slightly to give way for a pensive expression as he sighs, gently rubbing along the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. he throws you your shoe while standing from the bed, and as you slip it on, he shuffles over to his clothes drawer to pull out his own pair of sneakers. this prompts you to raise a brow inquisitively, but your silent question is left unanswered up until bakugou claps a hand on your shoulder and grumbles.

"c'mon, i'm fucking starving. there's a seven eleven nearby that's got spicy ramen."

and just like that, all thoughts pertaining to the test have been pulverized to dust by katsuki's unrelenting fists. the promise of food after hours of relentless mental abuse has you brushing off the sudden change of inclination in seconds, meanwhile the hothead to your right mulls over it during your trek through the empty hallways, stuffing his arms into the holes of his jacket. he had been able to overlook your constant fidgeting and intermittent noises of vexation, but too soon it became obvious that you weren't getting anywhere with the session. he would have simply offered to help if not for his own inability to concentrate, which had made itself known within the last half hour when he caught himself staring at you between taking notes. so what if he found your pouting cute? just maybe, he had started to fall in love with the way your brows furrowed at the instance of a misunderstood question; the absentminded tugging of your earlobe; the way your eyes looked without seeing, as if the smallest things held the greatest importance. sure, the tapping of your nails against a desk was a bit much, but he could always put a stop to your fretting by lacing your fingers together and kissing the back of your hand. just maybe, your bashful reactions made him want to hold you closer; to see you lounging across his lap—a throne befitting for a king—with your rose hued cheeks nestled in the crook of his neck.

not that you needed to know any of that. no fucking way would he endow another reason for you to tease him when the list was already so long.

curfew isn't for another hour, but bakugou would rather not waste time dawdling, so he uses this as reasoning for hooking your arm with his and practically hauling you out the exit. he mutters something about you being "too fucking slow" and "leaving you behind if you don't keep up", but the fact that he's dragging you along at all shows that he would have no problem resorting to desperate matters. the right amount of groveling and or compromising might mean a piggyback ride to the store, but regardless of how tempting the idea is, you decide not to further burden your friend with carrying you.

the towering shape of heights alliance becomes more and more like a speck of dust as your journey continues, the weight of your thoughts heavy on your already weary mind. you eye katsuki's side profile, noting the distinct lack of malice upon his handsome features, and smile softly to yourself. friend. it was the first word that occurred to you, albeit the least desirable and in no way comparable to the term that caused your heart to flutter within the confinements of your ribcage.

you aren't together. you don't know if you'll ever be, but when the the milieu; brimming with chaotic screams, booming laughter and disorderly merriment belonging to that of your closest friends; is whisked from the narrative, katsuki looks at you differently. whatever fragments of disdain and spite tend to crumble within the first few seconds and are replaced by an emotion that was unheard of ever having manifested in the depths of his vermillion hues. it holds a semblance to adoration, perhaps even respect, and for as long as you can recall, that is all you've wanted to see from him: to be regarded like no other.

sure, it's not like how you dreamed—he isn't very affectionate in public, though you doubt he would be even if you were together, and it always stings when he shrugs your affections off with a deriding comment—but that's just it. it's not a dream. after every scornful remark; after the day has passed and the dwindling moon takes its place in the evening sky, breaking through the curtains of his dorm; he'll kiss your hand, your blooming cheeks, your lips, all to atone for it. where no one else can see, he treats you like a divine being, and part of you wishes to think that it's because he's selfish. a bit of possessiveness has lead to many nights of a shared bed, ruffled sheets and smothering cuddles, but who are you to complain? everything he gives you is more real than any well-constructed reverie.

he may not be yours, and you may not be his, but no one else will suffice for either of you, and that is the unspoken truth.

the minimal bitterness in the autumn breeze makes for a refreshing atmosphere with the only discontent being the hunger that claws at your stomach. bakugou has never been merciful towards anyone, let alone the self-acclaimed nuisance who interrupts his studying with half-baked plans of adventure, but you're ever so grateful for the rare times where he is.

you know you won't have to wait long now that the smell of milk bread and takoyaki trickles into the air, much like the faint pitter patter of raindrops on the concrete. the shower is horribly ill-timed, but you hardly mind, especially when the droplets cling to bakugou's eyelashes like crystalline gemstones; glimmering faintly with every blink as they catch the suns rays. it settles below the horizon, only a sliver of golden yellow to be seen dancing in the tree boughs above, and the fuck if the way it illuminates your not-boyfriend's visage isn't absolutely breathtaking. the glimpse of honeyed skin and kissable lips—pulled into a pensive pout—draws you in deeper, and deeper, and oh god i've been caught—

"you got a staring problem, dumbass?" he grumbles, a roseal color dusting his ears that he swears is from the cold.

even his offensive nicknames are laced with an abnormal tenderness, and knowing that you're the only one with the privilege to hear it causes your chest to swell with delight. you nibble your bottom lip, hoping that it will somehow hide the fleet of giggles bubbling in your throat, but it does no such thing. "yeah, it's weird. whenever i see something beautiful, i just feel compelled to stare at it."

you don't need to look at him to know you've struck a nerve, but you do anyways, and his face grows redder under the intensity of your teasing leer. he sputters, curses falling from past his lips like a waterfall, and rips his arm from your grasp to cradle it as if you've burned him. any sane person would have backed down the second mini explosions began flaring up from his palms, however, you are perhaps the exact opposite, as to be expected when surrounding yourself with the infamous bakusquad, who (excluding bakugou) procured one braincell to share amongst themselves. years of having to put up with and, by extension, learn how to effectively handle bakugou's fits have proven to be time well spent.

you remain none the wiser to the concerned stares of others as he spouts a line of insults; incomprehensible from behind his curled fist pressed tightly to his mouth.

"you-you can't just say that kinda shit out loud, dumbass!" and although he may seem mad, he's already dragging you down the street. you test your luck by huddling closer and resting your chin on his shoulder, your steady pace never faltering.

"is the katsuki bakugou stumbling over his words from a little compliment?" it almost feels like you've won, but then the blonde proceeds to cover your face with his still damp hand. the little shit had timed it perfectly so that your open mouth would taste the saltiness of his sweat—quite the contrary to its sugary caramel aroma—and if you weren't so preoccupied by the resonance of his cackling laugh, you might have spent the rest of the trip gagging and complaining about the whole ordeal. he hardly seems bothered, wiping your saliva on his trousers and going forth with that customary lumbering strut, which always has you torn between fawning, chortling or questioning if he has fucking weights down his pants.

nonetheless, you can't help but murmur how cute he looks as you swing your free arm in tune with your steps.

by the time you've arrived at the shop, the sun has long since disappeared; welcoming hues of purple, navy blue and hints of orange to dapple the heavens, along with the foretelling of stars. you can't begin to describe how lucky you are to be living in a city with such beautiful scenery, even when the thin clouds of smog from factories often hinder your view of it. the fluorescent lights from the 'open' sign flash sporadically, casting a cobalt glow to dance across your dazed expression. katsuki watches with intent, chuckling at how easily distracted you can get as he tugs you inside by the cloth of your shirt.

the person behind the cash register spares a customary greeting before returning to their magazine, and bakugou makes a beeline for the intended isle, something akin to excitement radiating from him. he wears it much differently, and it resembles is go-to callous guise in almost every way, but you're able to detect the slight shift in demeanor as if its the easiest thing in the world. you hardly register that he's removed himself from you until the distance grows too large to ignore, and you shuffle over to the place beside him with a newfound adrenaline. the crisp air of the corner store heightens your senses as you tap your foot to the pop song playing overhead.

the only other sound is of katsuki examining the ramen and deciding what level of spice he should get, encouraging you to ponder what sort of hellish nightmare he has planned for the rest of the group. it was just last week when he dared kaminari to try some of the noodles, and the poor boy had spent ten minutes weeping in snot-nosed agony that you would have to be insane to put something that hot in your mouth. bakugou had laughed at his misery and carried on eating with vigor, mocking the others for their weak taste buds.

after a beat of silence, you decide to test your luck again by poking is shoulder, as well as batting your eyelashes at him and cocking your head to the side.

"can we get some candy?"

bakugou waves his hand dismissively, which is all the conformation you need before rounding the corner to peruse the variety of sweets on display. you immediately spot the marked parcels of sour gumdrops and assorted licorice and giggle to yourself as you pick them out, unaware of the gentle smile the blonde wears in regards to your child-like glee.

"yeah, just don't eat it all in one sitting. you go through that shit way too fast—it's unhealthy."

you won't bother commenting on his strict, motherly advisement, because you know it's in his best interest. he's grumbled about "stuffing your body with all that garbage" on numerous occasions, and while the hypocrisy might have annoyed you at one point ("and i assume gouging yourself on spicy ramen is completely different?") you realized rationing your candy would benefit both your health and your wallet. you nod, despite knowing he can't see, and idly feel for your back pocket, wondering just how much katsuki plans to stock up. money isn't exactly an issue, so you suppose it doesn't matter, but the amount of packets he normally brings back is downright criminal.

"don't be shy," he eventually says, "i'm buying. you're responsible enough not to buy out the whole store, right?"

your confusion overwhelms the urge to roll your eyes at his sarcasm, but there also lies a hint of elation that he would offer to buy.

"i figured i'd be paying as compensation for messing with you." you stand on the tips of your toes to poke your head over the isle, feeling very tempted to ruffle his hair whilst he gathers the packages of ramen into his basket.

"nah, you can pay me back in some other way." his eyes flick upwards to meet your devilish smirk, and he turns away with an affronted noise, blood rushing to his cheeks.

"oh? i can't wait to see what you have in mind~."

and there go the sparks. they last but a few moments before katsuki composes himself, presumably because he realizes making a scene won't help the situation, but he still throws a glare at you from a distance as he beckons you closer. it seems like he's gotten all he needs, so you hastily grab whatever sweets are left on your mental list and rush back to the counter. a comfortable silence sits between you both as your items are checked out, and in that time, you observe the significant difference between pre-late-night-shopping-run bakugou and food-deprived-study-date bakugou. his shoulders are more relaxed, as is his facial appearance, and you'll be damned if you ever forget the way he smiles when he catches you looking from his peripheral vision.

it's soft and unguarded and leaves you struggling for breath as he waits for the cashier to turn away, then promptly laces your fingers together. what? katsuki takes the bag and pulls you effortlessly; like a ragdoll; a mere toy at his disposal; out into the brisk evening. his thumb brushes the back of your hand, making you jump in surprise at the suddenness of it, and he titters freely. what? the streetlamps glint brightly, flickering at random intervals as you travel onward at a leisurely pace. the roads closest to U.A. aren't as packed as the ones deeper into the city, and thus you are the only two souls to be found, save for the few cars that speed by under the faint luminescence of nearing traffic lights. katsuki squeezes your palm, then slithers his hand out of your hold to replace it at your waist, methodically caressing the skin there in a way that has your knees buckling. you sputter witlessly, attempting to catch the thoughts that flee from your mind like birds to the wind. the blonde is nothing less than ecstatic to be the reason for your flustered state, and he takes full advantage of it by leaning in and hovering his mouth just inches from your own.

"i'll take my payment now." and oh lord, you think. he doesn't have to ask me twice. your lips collide with his, molding together like melted toffee; just as sweet and addictive. you've shared kisses before; ones that left you bruised and scrambling for a coverup the next day; ones that felt like fire but were tinged with honey that soothed your throat; fleeting ones that were never enough. you were sure that your need for affection would never truly be satiated unless it was from the boy you held most dear, and with the moon as your sole witness, katsuki was happy to oblige.

"starbursts. . ." he huffs after pulling away, massaging your hip to subdue your dissatisfied hum. "you taste like cherry starbursts."

he doesn't seem to mind by the way he leans in for another kiss, and another, and another, until you're a jittery mess in his arms. you press against his chest, a wistful sigh escaping you when you part once more.

"not that i'm complaining, but where's this coming from? you're usually not so touchy." the last bit of your utterance trails off as bakugou presses his lips to your forehead and keeps them there. moments pass, and when he finally pulls away, its to hide his blush by walking ahead of you. "i should be able to kiss my partner whenever i please, shouldn't i?" he doesn't even give you a chance to catch up, because his words have you rooted to the spot. what urges your feet to move is the haughty smirk he tosses over his shoulder, and even then, the race has only begun; your demands for him to stop echoing down the street as you chase him.

cheeky bastard.

[starrybethany]

I’m Sure - Adam Boqvist Imagine Part 6

Adam Boqvist: I’m Sure Masterlist

Word Count: 3.7K

Taglist: @flowery-mess​ @musiclove-12​

I sit in the lobby of the gynecologist’s office, flipping mindlessly through a parenting magazine. These magazines are so stupid- they’re meant to make parenting look easy and flawless, like nothing could go wrong- spoiler note, they’re wrong.

Your partner could leave you at any moment.

Your child could lie to you.

You could end up unexpectedly pregnant multiple times.

Children aren’t as easy as people like to think that they are. I sigh, throwing the magazine onto the coffee table in front of me and peak at my watch. It’s a minute until the time that my appointment is actually scheduled for. I was hoping to get in earlier to get out earlier. I want to pick Holden up from school and take him to an arcade to relax, since everything has been so hectic lately.

The slow, casual opening of the sliding doors are a sharp contrast to the frazzled, out-of-breath man that runs through them. He pants, looking around frantically at all of the couples staring back at him before locating me.

“Oh good, you haven’t gone in yet,” he gasps, practically throwing himself into the chair next to me and turning his hat around on his head so it’s backwards.

“I thought you were a professional athlete, how are you so out of breath?” I point out, ignoring his comment.

“I’ve been missing my workouts to hang out with you and the boys,” he gives me a flirty smile.

I roll my eyes. “Sorry to be such an inconvenience.”

His smile fades as he looks at me. “Hey, that’s not what I-“”Y/N Y/L/N?” The nurse calls my name at the perfect time.

I jump out of the chair, different from the past couple of weeks where I’ve had to ease myself up due to my growing belly.

“How are you doing today?” The nurse asks as she leads the way down the hallway.

“I’m good, how about you?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

Adam trails behind us as we enter a small exam room. He hovers awkwardly in the doorway as the nurse brings me over to the scale, weighing me and taking down my height. I motion to one of the empty chairs beside the computer and he quickly sits down, an apologetic look on his face.

I can’t help but feel annoyed.

I know he’s new to this and uncomfortable and I should just appreciate him being here in the first place, but holy hell I can’t hold his hand through everything. If he can’t even sit down in a fucking chair by himself, how can I trust him to change a diaper? Or God forbid, if he had to be with the baby by himself?

I’m doubting the man next to me as I take the chair beside him, updating the nurse on my personal information.

“Any concerns?” The nurse asks, typing furiously on the keyboard.

“My back is hurting really bad. With my last pregnancy, I don’t remember it hurting this bad,” I confess, rubbing my lower back as the shooting pain makes its way through my back.

“I will write a note for the doctor. Alright, she’ll be in shortly,” she smiles before leaving.

I feel like I’m practically begging her with my eyes to stay. I don’t want to be left alone with Adam, I know I should get used to it because he sounds like he wants to be involved in the boys lives now, but there’s something preventing me from feeling fully comfortable around him.

“What was it like with Holden?”

His question snaps me out of my thoughts, and I turn my head towards him, making eye contact with him. I feel taken aback every time we make eye contact- it’s like I’m seeing his blue eyes for the first time all over again.

“What was what like with Holden?” You’ve missed out on a lot of moments, you’re going to have to be specific here, buddy.

“Your pregnancy,” he shifts awkwardly. “You said you have more backaches this, uh, time, than you did when you were, um-“”You can say the word pregnant, Adam.”

He clenches his jaw. “Fine. You said you have more backaches this pregnancy than when you were pregnant with Holden, so what else is different? There, are you happy I said it? Pregnant.”

“Whatever,” I cross my arms over my chest, excitement for this appointment ruined by Adam’s shitty attitude. He’s shown me time and time again that he’s still selfish, so tell me again, why am I allowing him to be here?

“Well?”

“Well what?” I question, looking at him in disbelief.

“What’s different?” He asks like I’m the stupid one.

“Oh my God, Adam, I still get nauseous at the smell of scrambled eggs, my feet hurt more when I was pregnant with Holden than with this baby, but this baby makes my back hurt more, and this baby loves to kick way, way, way fucking more than Holden did. There, are you happy I said it?” I repeat his question. “Do you feel like asking about my pregnancy with Holden makes up for you not being there?”

He’s quiet. We sit in this sharp tension for a good five minutes before the doctor arrives, neither of wanting to say anything. Or maybe it’s that we just don’t know what to say.

“Hi, how are we feeling today?” Dr. Rocht questions as she enters the room.

“Hungry,” I respond, dreaming about the local sub shop down the street from the women’s clinic.

Adam gives me a look of disbelief, like he can’t believe that I would even be thinking about food after the fight we just had. But hey, the baby’s hungry.

“Why don’t we have you climb on the exam table so we can get you an ultrasound of this growing baby, huh?” She requests.

I nod, standing up and climbing onto the table, lifting my shirt so that my small bump is in view.

I see Adam’s eyes widen at the sight of it, like he didn’t actually realize that I was pregnant, but I ignore him.

“So did you open the envelope to see what you’re having?” She makes small talk as she preps the equipment.

“It’s a boy,” I smile with the news.

“A boy,” Dr. Rocht repeats with a smile of her own, “Is your son excited to have a younger brother?”

“He is! I think he would’ve been excited either way, but I think he’s really looking forward to having a baby brother.”

She rubs the gel on my lower stomach and I’m silent as I stare anxiously at the ultrasound screen, waiting for the picture of my baby boy to show up.

There he is. With his little button nose, tiny lips, and the outline of his body, I cherish it every time I get to see him. He’s really there- he’s really inside of me. Using my body and the nutrients that I give him, he’s growing.

A wide, cheesy grin spreads across my face as I see him.

“Are you okay there, dad?” Dr. Rocht’s voice snaps me out of the moment I’m having with myself.

I turn to look at Adam, seeing him ball his hands into fists and rub at his eyes, sniffling along with the motion. “Yeah, it’s just, uh, the first time that. I’ve seen this.”

A pane of guilt hits my chest with the way I’ve been treating Adam. He’s been out of his kids’ lives for the past thirteen years, yes, but he’s trying now. And shouldn’t he get some credit for that?

The gynecologist asks me a question, turning my attention back to her. She gives me some advice about how to deal with the backaches and prints out three pictures of the ultrasound. One for me, one for Adam, and one for Holden. I tuck two of them into my purse and give the other to Adam, heading to the front desk to make my next appointment right away.

The blonde man walks past me as I talk to the receptionist, out through the front doors and into the parking lot. My emotions have been all over the place all day- I’m aware of that- but walking away from me after asking me to be involved in your sons lives and crying at the ultrasound just seems downright disrespectful and inconsiderate.

His actions clearly aren’t matching up with his words.

I walk into the parking lot, unlocking my car.

“Y/N.” I look over to see Adam waiting on a bench outside of the building, looking back at me.

“What, Adam?” I question, just wanting to get my sub, eat it, and take a nap. I feel so drained from the last couple of days. Although this may be benefiting my children, this whole process with Adam is entirely exhausting to me.

“I’m looking for an apartment. Here, in Philadelphia. For the next three months,” he informs me.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, speaking slowly. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?” I can tell by his tone that he’s instantly defensive.

That’s why, I want to respond. Because you aren’t willing to listen or understand anything other than your opinion.

“Adam, I just,” I sigh, shifting my purse strap. “Holden still hasn’t decided whether he wants a relationship with you, and I don’t know when he will make a decision. And- and there’s nothing you can do for me or this baby right now.”

“I just came to an ultrasound with you,” he points out.

“And you started an argument with me while in there.” I wave my hands around for emphasis, probably looking like a crazy person but needing to get my point across. “You stress me out. And it’s not good for my health or the baby’s health. I’m sorry, but I think you should return to Chicago. I’ll send you weekly updates.”

I get into my car, knowing that his eyes are following me, but his mouth doesn’t move. He’s finally starting to understand what I’m saying.

~

One of the good things about having a baby bump, beside it meaning that the baby is growing healthily, is that you can balance things on it. Like right now, when I have three stacks of plastic cups resting on my stomach as I carry them from the back to the front.

I set the cups on the counter, bending over to put them away.

“Okay, Y/N, Rachel, Marcella, and I have been talking, and we really like Sebastian,” Lia informs me, sliding her phone into her back pocket.

Marcella asked for the day off and Rachel had to leave early to go to a doctor’s appointment, so it’s just me and Lia this afternoon. It’s fine, it’s a slow Wednesday anyways.

“Who’s Sebastian? Is that the boy you’re kind of dating?” I question. The three girls are texting each other all of the time so they’re always caught up on each other’s lives, but I’m a little slower when it comes to that.

“No, for the second baby,” she beams, “Sebastian is the name of our favorite character from Vampires Defending the Nation. Have you seen it?”

“Nope,” I respond, knowing it’s probably some rip off of The Vampire Diaries.

“It’s so good! You have to see it,” she gushes, “So, have you thought about other names for the baby yet?”

“Not really,” I confess. “I mean, I still have another four months to think about it.”

“Hey, Y/N,” a familiar voice interrupts my conversation with Lia.

I turn around to face the customer, sighing when I see Adam standing expectantly on the other side of the counter.

“What can I get for you, Adam?” I step up to the cash register.

“I found an apartment and paid the down payment today. Just thought you should know,” he tells me.

“So, one large caramel Frappuccino,” I try to keep the annoyance out of my voice as I tap the order onto the cash register.

“And I wanted to invite you and Holden over for dinner tonight.”

“Extra whip, that’ll be an additional dollar.” My fingers jap the register harder now.

“Come on, Y/N, please. Just talk to him for me,” he pleads, pulling cash out of his wallet despite never ordering the Frappuccino.

“It is not my job to fix this for you,” I snap at him, lowering my voice once I notice other customers begin to look at us. “You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out of it. I’m sick of you fucking up and it all falling onto me, Boqvist.”

“Just tell him to respond to my texts, please.”

“It’s like you never hear a word I say,” I shake my head, exhausted from his attitude. “Your total is $5.47.”

He hands a fifty-dollar bill to me and I make sure to avoid contact with his hand, not wanting to end up in the same situation we ended up in last time we were in this café together.

“Keep the change.”

I hand him back two twenty-dollar bills, four singles, two quarters, and three pennies.

Keep the change my ass. Do you think throwing money at me will get me to change my mind?

“Coming right up,” I give him a fake smile, turning around to make his drink.

As I hand him the large cup, he leans in closer to me. I feel like I’m holding my breath, like if I release the oxygen from my lungs it’ll tangle with the oxygen from his lungs and we’ll be connected again.

“Just think about dinner, okay?” He gives me a soft smile before the front door chimes after him.

“Is that baby daddy?” Lia’s voice startles me out of my frozen state.

I nod, not trusting my voice to speak.

“Wow, he is hot,” she exclaims. When I give her a look of disapproval, she adds, “And an asshole. Total asshole.”

~

“Mom,” Holden hollers, stumbling down the steps. I pause Vampires Defending the Nation at the perfect time since Holden stops right in front of the TV.

“What’s up, bud?”

“Adam told me that he wants to buy me the new Halo game,” he states excitedly.

I keep myself from rolling my eyes. First he tries to pay me to talk to Holden for him at the café and now he’s buying Holden’s love by getting him a new video game.

Does this man think that money just fixes everything?

“That’s nice, honey,” I try to give him a smile, but it probably looks more like a grimace.

“And, uh,” he suddenly looks shy, making me wonder what Adam told him this time. I never know with Adam- I can never predict him. “And he told me that he, um, invited us over for dinner. And, uh, I would like to go, if, if you want to.”

I study him. He’s not fiddling with his fingers, he’s avoiding eye contact with me not because he’s lying, but because he’s unsure of my reaction, he’s not biting his lip. He’s not feeling pressured into doing this by Adam, it’s something that he really wants to do.

“Are you sure?” I question, giving him the chance to change his mind.

“I’m sure, mom.”

“Alright,” I pull out my phone slowly to text Adam that we’d be there in an hour, giving Holden the final chance to change his mind.

He doesn’t. And now I have to see Adam in less than an hour, something that I’m dreading, yet somehow deep inside, looking forward to.

~

Adam’s apartment is only twenty minutes away from our small townhouse, but it’s a stark difference to how we live. Whereas the brick outside of our townhouse is from the early 1900s and the paint is peeling (the landlord refuses to pay me back if I paint it myself- and I’m stubborn too, so I refuse to do it for free) while I remember Adam’s apartment building being built last year and there’s a security guard at the entrance who greets us.

I reach out to grab Holden’s hand. I’m not sure if it’s more for me or him, but I think we both need the comfort of each other.

The receptionist gets clearance from Adam to allow us up to his apartment and I hesitantly knock on the fake wood door, stepping back and waiting for it to open up.

It swings open, a beaming Adam Boqvist on the other side. “Glad you guys could make it, come on in.”

We walk into the apartment hesitantly, taking off our shoes.

“So, it has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, I figured a room for me, a room for Holden, and a room for the new baby, and uh, I made spaghetti for dinner,” the hockey player rambles, hurrying over to the stove to stir the steaming pot.

“No room for you,” Holden murmurs, teasingly, nudging my arm with his.

I roll my eyes at that, but his father clearly hears his comment, because he responds, “Oh, I was thinking she would share a room with me.”

Just as I’m about to bite back with a sassy response, he takes the pot off of the stove to dump the boiling water out. I take the time to slyly check out the apartment.

The walls are a stark white- something that he’ll regret once this baby gets into his trouble-making-toddler phase, the appliances are all brand new, and the furniture looks very modern.

Truthfully, it doesn’t look comfortable to live in. It looks like something out of a magazine.

“Dinner’s ready,” Adam announces.

We pile our plates with food, and I take a seat at the table, Holden sitting across from me and Adam sitting next to me.

“A water for you and the baby, a water for Holden,” Adam states, setting a glass down beside each of our plates before taking a seat next to me. “So, Holden, how was school today?”

I zone out as my son answers.

In the seat next to Holden, a girl a couple of years younger than him would be smiling at me. Holden would reach over to pick up the piece of garlic bread that fell in her lap, setting it on her napkin on the table. A high chair would be at the end of the table next to Adam, and in between bites of his spaghetti, he would feed the waiting, hungry baby.

That baby would be an accident. But we would laugh and joke about half of our babies being accidents, not in the way we do now, but in a joking, loving way.

A way that would show, yes, this wasn’t planned, but we’re in this together. We’re always in this together.

It’s what could have been. We could have had a nice house that we designed together, three kids that were by both of us, hell, even a dog. We could have been together. We could have done this together.

“Mom?”

I look at Holden with questioning eyes. He gives me a look of concern, nodding towards Adam. “Adam asked you a question.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, meeting Adam’s eyes. He’s always been good at telling my emotions, and that’s why he can press my buttons so easily. But now he just looks like he wants to comfort me, wrap me in his arms and never let me go.

“Sorry, what did you ask?”

“Are you alright?” He mumbles like we’re the only people in the room, ignoring my question.

“I’m fine, um, the baby’s just kicking me really hard,” I lie, hoping that even if he doesn’t believe it, he’ll accept it.

He nods slowly, a tell-tale sign that he doesn’t believe my lie, but he’ll let it slide. “I asked you who you were working with today.”

“Oh, that’s Lia,” I answer. We make small talk for the rest of dinner, but I feel concern oozing both from the man beside me and the boy across from me.

I just need to get through this dinner, then I can go home and sleep. And sleep. And sleep.

I pull the shoe onto my foot, losing my balance and beginning to tumble forward. A hand shoots out to catch me, steadying me.

“Thank you,” I murmur as I rise to my full height, planting my feet firmly on the ground.

“Gotta be careful, there,” Adam mumbles back, arm still holding onto mine. We stand there in a comfortable silence for the first time in thirteen years. I don’t want it to end, but then I remember that Holden still has homework to do, and I have to do some things before work tomorrow.

“We should get going now,” I state, moving towards the door.

“Y/N, wait,” his voice stops me. I turn around to face him. “Um, I just wanted to let you know that I’m trying. And I know I’ve been saying that for a while and I haven’t really been acting like it, but I rented this apartment, and I cooked this dinner and I’m trying to be there for Holden because I haven’t been there for him.

“And I’m trying to be there for you, too. Not just because you’re carrying my child, but because you’ve been supermom for the past thirteen years. You stepped up when I couldn’t, for the both of us, and it’s just, you just,” he takes a deep breath. “You deserve the world.” I feel something tug at my heart.

“I’m really sorry. I’m sorry for not being there then, I’m sorry for not being here now when I have been here, I’m sorry for everything. And I’m going to do everything in my power to show you how sorry I am.”

I nod, soaking in his words. He’s apologizing. He’s realizing his actions- or lack thereof. And now we just need to see if his actions will match up with this grand speech he just gave me.

“You better,” I say quietly, walking out of his new apartment.

“What took you so long?” Holden asks from his spot in front of the elevator.

“I had to talk to your dad.”

“Was it- was it a good talk?” He questions, eyes asking an unasked question.

I nod. “It was a good talk, Holden.”

[write-for-all]

RFA + foreign MC

A/N: Hey guys! This wasn‘t requested, but I wanted to write these for a long time now. Also, V‘s and Saeran‘s part are coming soon, I just didn‘t finish them yet. I hope, you‘ll enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

scenario: MC isn’t from Korea and has to leave the country after the second party

warnings: none

💛 Yoosung 💛

Nope, you ain‘t leaving this country with that boy by your side.

You already considered taking a naturalization test to become a korean citizen, however you had your doubts if you could pass the test.

„Yoosung, I really want to stay, but there is no way I can get a citizenship. I can‘t even read all of the Hangeul (A/N: I think, that‘s what the korean alphabet is called.) nor do I know much about the korean history.“ „So what? I just have to teach you these things then. After all I passed all my exams with learning all the stuff the night before.“ „Yoosung…you failed the last exam…“ „Well…okay I passed most of my exams…but we can do it! We still have a week left!“

And with that the challenge began.

To be honest, Yoosung sometimes acted like it was a video game at which he had to level up his character as much as possible.

But in the end it all paid off as you walked out of the office with some documents and a huge grin on your face.

„Yes, you did it, MC!“ „No, sweetie, we did it. Together. Thank you so much!“ You said with tears in your eyes as you pulled him into a loving kiss.

🤍 Zen 🤍

At first, Zen was pissed as hell that you were not allowed to stay in Korea.

„They can‘t kick you out like that! You‘re doing everything a local also does! This is so unfair!“

Of course, you felt the same way, but in your opinion there was just no point in blaming someone. You‘d prefer to spend the rest of your time in Korea with the people you love, especially Zen of course.

However, what you didn‘t know was that Zen stayed awake every night to apply for some roles in your home country.

And after a few sleepless nights he finally got a confirmation that he got the lead role in a new musical near your home town.

„Baaabe∽ I have some great news! I got a new lead role!“ „Really!? That‘s awesome, Hyun! I‘m so proud of you!“ „Thanks…guess where the new play will be at?“ „Uh, I don‘t know? At the Myeongdong NANTA Theatre?“ „Nope, it will be near your home town! I‘m coming with you!“

At first you didn‘t believe him, but when he showed you the contract you jumped into his arms and showered him with kisses. Both of you couldn‘t be happier.

🤎 Jaehee 🤎

To say that Jaehee was sad at first was an understatement.

Sure, she never was a person that showed much of her feelings, but when you told her the news she began to cry a little. After all, you were the love of her life and the only reason to continue her lifestyle as it was.

„I‘m so sorry, Jaehee. I really tried all I could, but they just won‘t give me the citizenship.“ „No, it‘s not your fault, MC. I‘m just…sad, you know? But…we‘ll figure it out eventually.“

On the next day Jaehee went to work like everyday, however she was much more drowned in her thoughts than she thought. Even Jumin noticed her change in behavior pretty quickly.

„Assistant Kang, what is up with you today? This is the third mistake you made today. Usually your work is flawless.“ „I quit.“ „What did you just say?“ „I said, I quit. I won‘t come to work tomorrow. I‘m sorry, Mister Han.“

After looking at Jumin‘s shocked expression she walked out of the office, gathered her things and got home to tell you what she just did.

„You quit!? But why? And why so suddenly!?“ „Well, I guess I was ready for a long vacation. I heard your home country is nice this time of the year. We could finally open our café, if you want.“

And of course you wanted. Both of you celebrated Jaehee‘s decision with a dinner date and a marathon of Zen‘s musicals while our poor Jumin struggled to find a new assistant.

💜 Jumin 💜

To be honest, the options are endless with our rich boy.

But if you had to leave the country and he couldn‘t accompany you permanently due to his company, he‘d have a word with the authorities himself.

„What do you mean you can‘t stay here?“ „Well, honey, I tried to talk with them, but there are some problems with my VISA and I can‘t stay for much longer…“ „But we‘re married…“ „I know, but they don‘t seem to care.“

Well, after that he assured you that everything would be alright and that you wouldn‘t have to part ways.

On the next day he got in a meeting with his lawyer and went to the office with him. After all, it wasn‘t right to kick you out if you were legally married to a citizen and Jumin made that point especially clear to the employees over there.

When he came home that day you greeted him like always, but already noticing, that he was smiling more than usual.

„Jumin? Did something happen today?“ „Yes, my dear wife. I had a little talk with the employees at the office about your citizenship today and congratulations, you‘re officially korean now.“

With that you kissed your husband passionately and full of happiness. Sometimes, Jumin‘s wealth and fame wasn‘t so bad after all.

❤️ Seven ❤️

Seven found out about the situation, because you came home crying one day.

At first, he thought someone hurt you and he was on the verge of getting revenge in your name. No one hurt the love of his life and got away unharmed.

„MC, baby, please talk to me. Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you? Should I make them pay?“ „No, Saeyoung…it‘s not like that. It‘s just…my VISA will expire soon and I won‘t be able to stay. They told me that today at the office.“ „Oh…hey, don‘t cry, alright? It‘s probably just a mixup. Maybe they looked into the wrong file. You should give them a call tomorrow to confirm their statement.“ „Yeah…maybe you‘re right. But for now, can we cuddle?“ „Of course! Wait, let me change into my unicorn onesie!“

Later that night when you were fast asleep, Seven hacked into the national system to change some of your information and register you as an official citizen.

Of course, he didn‘t tell you about it, he just smiled when you screamed out of joy after you called the office. He was more than happy to be able to help in such a situation.

„This is so awesome! But…do you have something to do with this?“ „Weeell…I might or might not have hacked into the national system to change a few things…buuuut for my defense, hacking into it was way to easy! They were such an easy target!“

You just laughed and hugged him tightly, not caring about his illegal ways to help you out. You just really liked the fact, that he seemed to love you so much, that he would even consider to get into trouble for helping you.

[harrysweasleys]

Fake Kisses

Synopsis: Weasley!Reader (same year as Ron but ten months younger) is dating Malfoy and her family is not on board. So, the twins take matters into their own hands and use polyjuice potion to transform into Draco and kiss Pansy. When reader sees, she breaks up with who she thinks is the real him. But the real Draco is very confused.

Warnings: Language, angst

Word Count: 6.1k

A/N: I did my Pottermore quiz five years ago and got Slytherin and so for years now I’ve been telling people I was Slytherin. I just made a new account bc I forgot my old one and I’m now Gryffindor. my life has drastically changed. 

-

Dating Draco Malfoy was hard. There was no beating around the bush, not for Y/N Weasley. She knew it’d be difficult, but she loved the platinum headed Slytherin prince, and she had for a lot longer than she’d care to admit, especially to her family.

Because they do not approve.

She had been dating Draco for about two weeks before finally telling Ginny, who she had hoped would be supportive and hold onto the secret, but she ended up turning around and telling all of their brothers, resulting in a good week of chaos. Ron didn't talk to her for about nearly ten days, and the twins gave Malfoy constant glares that were harsh enough to pierce glass.

They eventually came around to her after giving her the cold shoulder for what felt like weeks. She was their sister after all. But they still hated Malfoy and his entire family with fiery passion, and nothing was going to change that.

They had set ground rules — absolutely no forms of PDA while they were around to see, and no hanging out past curfew. Y/N found the rules ridiculous, she was her own person, and smart enough to make her own decisions, but she respected and loved her family enough to follow them.

“I’ll see you after Defense Against the Dark Arts, yeah?” Draco smiled at Y/N, his arm firm around her waist as the two made their way out of potions together.

“I don’t know why you’re skipping again,” Y/N smirked up at him, clutching her textbooks to her chest, “But yes, I’ll see you after class.”

Draco pressed a light kiss to her forehead and made his way through the crowded corridor, maneuvering his way around students until his blond hair was no longer visible. Y/N pushed her way through the chaos, trying her best to get to Defense class on time so she didn’t get any sort of detention or punishment from Umbridge herself.

She finally made it to class, only a minute to spare, and sat down next to a dark haired Ravenclaw girl who was chewing her gum with her mouth wide open. Y/N groaned to herself, hoping she wouldn’t have to deal with the ainfuriating sound all class.

Umbridge walked in, the clicking of her pink heels rendering the class silent as she made her way to the front, holding her wand in her evil little hands and smirking.

“Today we’ll be talking about our upcoming exams!”

Y/N rolled her eyes, taking out her quill and ready to take down notes.

-

Elsewhere in the castle, Fred and George were sitting in the Common Room, their other sister Ginny mindlessly levitating a feather as the two boys joked around and wrote down ideas for their upcoming joke shop.

“What if we made a chocolate bar that turned your burps into fire?” Fred asked, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

George nodded, “Oh, yeah, and we can call them… Bars of Fire.”

“That’s a stupid name.” Ginny dropped the feather, facing her siblings with her chin leaning in her hand. She wore an unimpressed expression, as if her mind was elsewhere.

“Bet you wouldn’t find it as stupid if we fed one to Malfoy.” George’s eyebrows wiggled as he looked between his two siblings. Fred’s eyes widened as a grin spread on his face, whereas Ginny just rolled her eyes.

“Drop it, just leave the two of them alone.” she stood up off of the chair, making her way up the stairs and into her room without another word. The twins looked at each other with the same confused expression, but brushed it off and went back to their plan. Ginny had been moody lately always now that she knew Harry and Cho were kind of a thing.

“No — seriously, what if we pranked Malfoy and made them break up?” George asked again, plotting the scenario in his head already.

“What kind of prank could we pull?” Fred asked, placing his fingers against his chin, “We should have her break up with him, because if it’s the other way around she might be really heartbroken and we don’t want that.”

George nodded, “You’re right. What if we made Y/N think Draco had done something completely awful?”

Fred’s head perked up, “Oh, so she’d be mad instead of sad. Very clever, Georgie.”

The two brothers tried to think of a way to get their sister to break up with her boyfriend without breaking her heart too much, but couldn’t come up with a solution.

“If only we could become Malfoy for like, ten minutes.” George pondered, tapping his finger against his nose.

“George, that’s it,” Fred stood up, arms in the air, “Polyjuice potion!”

-

As Y/N made her way out of Defense Against the Dark Arts, thanking the heavens that class ended early because she was about to snap at the gum-chewing girl next to her, she made her way to the courtyard where she knew Draco would be waiting for her.

She made her way through the crowd and landed in the opening, the sunlight hitting her skin and blinding her for a quick second before her eyes adjusted to the change in lighting.

She spotted the blond head sitting on a bench on the other side of the field and walked over, smiling at him from a distance. He noticed her and grinned, sliding over to one side of the bench so she could sit next to him.

“How was class?” he asked her, placing arm around around her and pulling her closer to him. She leaned into his touch, a smile ghosting on her lips.

“It was fine. I’ve got notes if ever you want to look over what we’ve done, mister I-Skip-Class-To-Tease-First-Years.” she poked his side, eyebrow raised.

He rolled his eyes playfully, “I deal with Umbridge enough to not want to go to class anymore. Besides, she loves Slytherin so I can do no wrong.” He puffed out his chest as if he were proud of his lack of care.

She pulled away, “Hm, is that so? Guess it’s unfortunate I’m just a lousy Gryffindor, huh?”

“It is unfortunate,” he smirked, “But it’s alright, I still like you.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him, crossing her arms playfully, “Like me? That’s it?”

He grinned, pulling her close once more, “Oh, you know I love you.” She felt a light kiss on her forehead, his arms wrapped around her as if to claim her as his. Students walked by, almost thrown off at Draco’s openly affectionate demeanour, he wasn’t exactly the most ‘caring’ person in the world towards others, but since him and Y/N started dating he had changed quite a bit. His bitter, rude remarks towards innocent students had started to go down (with the exception of teasing first year students who got lost, of course), and he even smiled around his friends. He had changed for the better because of her.

Y/N was about to turn around and place a kiss on his cheek, but a flash of red hair caught her eye. Fred and George were watching the two of them from behind a pillar. Once her eyes landed on them, they had scattered off as if they were just wandering aimlessly.

She squinted, watching them retreat down the hall and out of sight.

“What is it?” Draco asked her, turning his head to face the direction she was also facing.

“Oh — nothing,” she turned back to face him, her mind slightly distracted trying to figure out why her brothers might have been spying on her. She grinned up at him and opened her notebook, going over the things they had discussed in class that day, making sure to emphasize the importance of the exams they'd be having in three weeks’ time.

-

That night, after dinner, Y/N sat in the Common Room by the fire, her nose in a book and the crackling of the log being the only noise in the room. Most students had gone off to bed since tomorrow morning there was an early Quidditch game between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, but Y/N had no intention of going. She had plans to go walk the grounds with Draco.

Sure, Y/N liked Quidditch, but she took all the alone time with her boyfriend that she could get — it was hard getting privacy at Hogwarts.

She found herself dozing off slightly, but was quickly startled awake as Fred and George crept into the room high-fiving each other.

“What’s got you two so thrilled?” Y/N slammed her book shut. The two boys’ smiled dropped as they looked towards their younger sister, who they really hoped wasn’t awake.

“We, uh, pranked Umbridge.” Fred said through gritted teeth, elbowing George in the side to make sure he lied along with him.

“Yeah — puking pastilles.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, leaning forwards, “Why’d you spy on me today?”

Fred was speechless, but lucky for him, George stepped up, “I saw Angelina. You know how Fred fancies her. She was with a guy and we wanted to make sure it was only platonic. We didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah,” Fred spoke up, “Angelina. And then we saw you — and you saw us. So we ran.”

Y/N shook her head, “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you run when I saw you if you weren’t even looking at me in the first place?” The book fell to the floor as she uncrossed her legs, but she didn’t lean over to pick it up, keeping her eyes on the mischievous boys in front of her, the fire making all of their hair appear as if it were glowing.

“Come on, little sister,” Fred plopped down on the couch, wrapping his arm around her, “Why do you think so lowly of us? We’re not always doing something evil.”

Y/N felt a pinch on her shoulder but brushed it off, squinting at her brothers, “Fine.”

The two brothers sighed in relief, bidding her a goodnight and rushing off to their rooms. Once they were out of sight, Fred turned to George with a wicked grin.

“I got the hair off her robes.”

-

The next morning, Y/N woke up to an empty dorm room. Everyone had already left for the Quidditch game, so she could take her time getting up. She got out of bed and changed into a baggy sweatshirt and some leggings, also putting on a pair warm socks and her shoes. She tied her red hair back into a ponytail and made her way down to the Great Hall. There weren’t a lot of people around apart from the Slytherin and Hufflepuff houses, so Y/N had free range for all the leftover food on the Gryffindor table. She made her way over, smiling over at Draco, who didn’t even look up when she had walked in.

She brushed it off, sitting down and grabbing a plate. She ate some quick breakfast, saying hi to the other Gryffindors who also skipped the game — only seeing Fred (who said he was staying behind to ‘brainstorm’ which Y/N thought was weird as they usually did that together), and walked over to the Slytherin table. Her eyes scanned all along the benches, but couldn’t spot her boyfriend anywhere. It’s not like he blended in, exactly. His hair was enough to make him stand out in a crowd of a thousand. He must have taken off already.

She looked over and noticed that none of Draco’s friends were there either.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and made her way out to the courtyard, their usual meet up spot, and searched for him there. He wasn't on their usual bench, nor was he on the bridge.

I wonder where he could be, she pondered in her head, entering the bright corridors of the castle, the morning sunlight illuminating every archway and column as if she was in the most magical place in the world. Which she kind of was, actually.

She made her way down to the dungeons, hoping that maybe they’d be lurking around in their Slytherin territory. She came down the long staircase, hearing quiet voices and quickening her pace.

In the dark, Crabbe and Goyle stood whispering and waving their hands in an exaggerated manner not five feet from the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room.

“Hey!” Y/N called out to them, waving her hand, “Have you two seen Draco?”

Goyle seemed nervous as he answered her, “Uh, no — I think he’s in the Common Room.”

Y/N’s smile dropped, wondering why he was in there when he told her he’d spend the morning with her, “Oh, can you tell him I’m here?”

“You — uh…” Crabbe stuttered before being knocked over the back of the head by Goyle. The two boys shared a strange look, piquing Y/N’s curiosity even more.

“What is it?”

Before any of them could answer, the Slytherin portal swung open and two people wearing green robes walked out, so Y/N took her chance and walked over, attempting to sneak in despite the fact that she had the Gryffindor logo on her sweater — a gift from her mother in third year.

She snuck past them, ignoring Crabbe and Goyle following after her, and stopped dead in her tracks when her eyes landed on her boyfriend.

Not only her boyfriend, but his lips pressed up against those of pug-faced Pansy Parkinson.

Y/N’s heart dropped, bile rising in her throat as her eyes stayed glued on them. She felt frozen in her step, unable to move as her heart continued sinking further and further, along with her pride.

What the hell?

She could feel tears pricking at her eyes, but she was not going to let that show. Her anger was overcoming her sadness.

Coughing to alert him off her presence, she raised her hand, flipped him off, and stormed out of the Slytherin Common Room, shoving Crabbe and Goyle out of her way with decent force. As she quickened her pace out of the dungeons, she could feel the hot tears stinging her eyes and flowing down her hot cheeks.

She ducked her head down, ignoring the stares people were giving her as she continued rushing to the Gryffindor Common Room, the tears flowing nearly non-stop by now. She got to the Common Room painting, practically shouting the password, and rushed in, collapsing on the couch in a fit of shakes and tears.

‘How dare he? That selfish ass’ Y/N repeated to herself in her mind, her blood boiling. She was so certain he cared about her, that he loved her, but she just caught him cheating on her and acted like she was the one in the wrong.

She glared up at the ceiling, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her sweater, mad at herself for falling for his lies and deceit. Her family warned her over and over again that the Malfoys were dangerous, but did she listen?

No.

She fell for his charm, his smile, his striking eyes, and he pushed her aside like she was nothing. Just yesterday, the two were sitting out in the courtyard enjoying each other’s company — was he thinking of stupid Pansy? How long had the two of them been a… thing?

Y/N felt like puking out her breakfast at the thought of them doing more than just kissing.

“Merlin’s beard, who killed your spirit?” A cheerful voice broke her devastating silence. She wiped her tears quickly, hiding her face in a pillow.

“Go away, Ginny.” Y/N muttered, her voice probably not even sounding like words through the thick feathers of the pillow.

“It’s the Common Room, I’m allowed to be here,” Ginny sassed, shoving Y/N’s legs off of the couch and sitting in their place, “Now, spill.”

So, Y/N did. She told Ginny all about what she had just seen.

Ginny’s face was red in anger, “That foul little git. I knew he was no good but this proves it.”

Y/N felt herself wanting to defend him, but she knew she shouldn’t. He probably wouldn't if it were the other way around. Despite the bitterness in her chest, she still wanted to know why. Why wasn't she good enough? Why did he need someone else when she was right there? Did she deserve this?

“And then he said ‘NOT TODAY, RAVENCLAW’!” Ron’s howling voice burst through the portal, his cheeks painted red and yellow in honour of the match that had just happened. Y/N guessed by the fire of excitement in his eyes that Gryffindor had won.

“Blimey, Harry’s the best seeker!” Dean Thomas clapped his hands, almost knocking the giant lion head on his chest to the ground.

“What’s wrong?” Ron asked, sitting on the couch next to Y/N, immediately placing his hand on her forehead to check her temperature.

“Malfoy.” Ginny sneered, “That rat kissed another girl.”

Ron’s eyes went dark, “He what?! Good for nothing Slytherin, he is.”

Y/N had had enough of her siblings trashing him, despite his horrible actions, and rose to her feet with her hands on her hips, “Listen up you two. I get it, you’re upset. So am I. But the two of you bitching about him isn’t going to make me feel any better. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to my room.”

Y/N stormed off to her room, noticing the silence in the room. She had shouted it much louder than intended, so now everyone knew that something was up. She brushed off the thought and approached her bed, grabbing the pillow and shoving her face in it, muffling her silent sobs.

She was lucky it was a Saturday because she sure as hell didn’t feel like going to class today.

-

That evening, after sulking in her room all day (but being comforted by Ginny and Hermione), Y/N worked up the courage to go down to the Great Hall for dinner. Not that she didn't want to be seen, but because she knew she’d see Draco. She wasn’t sure if he even saw her barging in this morning, so there was a chance he’d act like nothing was wrong.

On the way down, Ginny stuck by her side and cracked lame jokes, occasionally making a small smile appear on Y/N’s face.

The Great Hall was busy, chit chat becoming the only sound you could hear upon entering. Y/N avoided looking over at the Slytherin table and beelined for the patch of ginger hair, seating herself between Ginny and Harry.

“Congrats on the win, Harry.” Y/N smiled, wanting to talk about something other than her current situation. Harry shot her a smile, thanking her silently, before picking at the potatoes on his plate.

Y/N looked around, not noticing Fred or George anywhere, which was strange as any time food was involved they were very much present. She brushed it off, thinking nothing of it, and continued on putting food on her plate. She didn’t have much of an appetite, but knew that her health was much more important than how her heart was feeling.

She could hear Pansy’s shrill laugh over all the noise in the hall, probably laughing at one of Draco’s cute jokes.

No, no.

His stupid jokes. Stupid.

Dinner was uneventful, there wasn't a constant flow of conversation, but the distraction was what Y/N needed to get her shoulders to stop slouching and the tears to stop flowing. She made her way out of the hall later on with Ron and Harry, who were deep in conversation about the upcoming Herbology exam — Ron’s plan was to cheat off of Neville’s paper.

Right as she was about to step out and into freedom, she was cut off by the voice she didn’t want to hear.

“Hey, Y/N, why didn’t you show up to the courtyard this morning? I slept in a little later than expected but then I went down and you weren’t there.” Draco jogged over, intercepting her before she could leave. Y/N felt Ron tense up from beside her, but she placed her hand on his shoulder to let him know to keep his cool.

“I saw you with Pansy, you git.” she spoke through gritted teeth, not daring to look into his eyes because she knew he’d render her weak with his piercing stare.

“Me and Pansy? What did me and Pansy do? I barely even saw her today.” he crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed as he looked to Y/N, who was still avoiding his gaze.

“Just… leave me alone, Malfoy.”

Draco felt a twinge of hurt in his chest. She had only called him Malfoy when she was pissed off. He was called Malfoy by everyone else, and she was the only one who called him Draco — he loved it, it was her thing. Draco remained oblivious to what he had done, but the fire in her eyes was dangerous.

“No, Y/N —,” Draco tried to reach out and grab her arm, but she turned away and speed-walked down the corridor with Ron and Harry by her side, who both looked back and glared at him as they walked.

Draco shook his head, trying to figure out what he’d done. He made his way back to the Slytherin table, trying to think of what he had done with Pansy that could have pissed off his girlfriend so much. He sat down next to Crabbe and Goyle, who looked up sadly at him.

“What are you two looking at?” he snapped, crossing his arms on the table.

Goyle spoke up first, “Well — we’re, uh, sorry we weren't able to keep Y/N out of the Slytherin Common Room this morning.”

“Wait,” Draco waved his hand, “When was she in the common room?” he thought back to that morning when he woke up, rushed out of bed and waited in the courtyard for thirty minutes. He didn’t remember ever seeing her anywhere near the dungeons.

Crabbe’s face flushed, “U-Uh, when you… when you were… you know, with Pansy.” Crabbe avoided eye contact, staring at the cup in front of him.

Draco was even more confused, “When I was what with Pansy?”

As if she heard her name, Pansy herself came and sat next to Draco, slinging her arm around him as if claiming him as hers. Draco shuddered, pushing her away. He wouldn’t mind if it was Y/N, but Pansy’s obsession with him was weird enough, he didn't want physical contact with her.

“Draco, did you miss me? Haven’t seen you since this morning.” she whispered lowly, closer to his ear than he would have liked.

“I didn’t even see you this morning.” he waved his arms, “I don't get what’s happening. Is this a joke?”

Pansy chuckled, her obnoxious laugh sounding through the hall once more. Draco rolled his eyes, just wanting answers. None of this made sense, and now Y/N had stormed away from him.

“A prank? What do you mean? It didn’t feel like a prank, that was a good kiss.” Pansy grinned, twirling her hair as she thought back to this morning.

“A kiss?” Draco felt colour drain from his face, his hands immediately going cold, “Who kissed?”

“We did,” Pansy stated as if it were obvious, “In the common room. Merlin, if you can’t even remember, how many girls did you kiss today?”

Draco felt like throwing up, “But I didn’t kiss you, I didn’t kiss anyone.” He knew his face was showing complete disgust, but he didn’t care whether he insulted her or not. He did not kiss her.

“Not to step in,” Goyle spoke up, voice cracking, “You did tell us to stand guard of the Common Room incase Y/N showed up because you wanted to… have ‘alone’ time with Parkinson. And then she walked in and saw you two snogging on the couch.”

“I never said that, you bloody idiot,” Draco snapped, forcing his first down against the table, “I didn’t kiss her. Sorry, Pansy, but I’d never kiss you.”

Pansy gasped, placing her hand dramatically over her chest as if she had been hit with a curse, “But you did.”

Draco shook his head, pissed off at everyone in the room. He glared at the three people around him and stormed out of the room and down to the dungeons, trying to think of what the hell just happened. Y/N saw him kissing Pansy, but he didn’t kiss Pansy. Which made no sense, so what could she have seen? Why was everyone saying that this had happened?

-

In the Gryffindor Common Room, Y/N laid in her bed with her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Why Draco bothered denying the kiss was beyond her, but she saw it nonetheless. She hated thinking about how many times this had happened before.

No, don’t go there, her mind snapped at her.

“Does he think I’m stupid or something?” she asked to the two girls sitting the room with her.

“No — only an idiot would think you’re an idiot,” Hermione scoffed, sitting up suddenly, “Wait, maybe he does then.”

Y/N chuckled, tossing a little bouncy ball up and down, trying not to hit the drapes and topple the whole bed over.

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t come near you, don’t worry.” Ginny grinned at her sister, clutching a pillow to her chest.

Y/N, however devastated, felt lucky she had two supportive best friends to help her out. She knew that the next few weeks would be tough, especially having to see Draco in class and during meals, but she’d act strong enough to make it seem like he wasn’t affecting her.

-

The rest of the weekend had gone by slowly. Y/N was partially grateful for that since she didn’t have to face anyone in class, but she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in her chest. She hadn’t seen Draco at any of the meals and although most of her siblings were supportive, Fred and George — who she could always rely on to cheer her up — had also practically vanished. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought they were avoiding her.

But when Monday rolled around, everything changed.

Y/N rushed down to have breakfast before anyone else was awake, enjoying the peaceful sunshine streaming in through the windows of the hall. She hadn’t slept much, it was hard not to shake the image of her boyfriend — ex boyfriend — and Pansy from her mind. She could feel the bags under her eyes which earned herself a concerned smile from McGonagall as she munched quietly on breakfast.

She was also the first one in Potions that morning, sitting near the front of the class so she wouldn’t have to stare at a platinum head of hair all class. Snape walked in, slightly startled by how early she was, but he went on and did his own thing, only looking up every time another student walked in.

“Is this seat taken?”

Y/N’s face dropped, looking up at the boy who singlehandedly crushed her heart. He didn’t look any better than she did, his eyes were darker and more sunken in than usual and he seemed even paler, if that was possible.

“Before you say no, I’m going to sit.” he pulled the chair back and sat down, not even adjusting his wrinkled robes.

“Look — I don’t know what you saw,” he placed a finger on her lip before she could scold him, “I never, ever kissed Pansy. Why would I?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Y/N crossed her arms, “She’s been obsessed with you since first year. You’re an attention hog. You two go perfectly.” She wanted so hard to tell him off, yell at him until she had no more voice, but as she looked into his eyes she felt herself still clinging to his every word as if she believed him.

“Ok, never say her and I go perfectly ever again, I’d rather vomit and then eat it,” he held his hands up in defense, “Besides, why would I kiss someone else when I’ve got you? The best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Y/N leaned back in her chair, “I saw you, Malfoy. Nothing can take that back.”

“But it wasn’t me,” he pleaded, eyes practically begging her for forgiveness.

“Go sit elsewhere, please.” Y/N turned away from him, facing the front of the class where Snape stood, glaring at them for speaking even when class hadn't started.

“Y/N—,”

“Please, just go.”

Draco’s face fell, heart dropping, but he stood up slowly and walked to the back of the class, shoving Goyle out of his seat and installing himself next to Crabbe. Y/N didn’t look back at him, only moving her head when Hermione sat next to her.

“Did he try talking to you?” Hermione whispered, opening her book and preparing herself for class.

“Yep.” Y/N mumbled, leaning her head in her hand and nearly jumping out of her skin when Snape announced class had begun.

It went by surprisingly quickly, but Y/N stayed back to avoid rushing by Draco on the way out. She stared at him in confusion when instead of leaving class, he made his way over to Snape and started whispering about something secretive.

Y/N ignored it and walked out of the dusty room, Hermione by her side.

-

Days went by before Draco spoke to her again — he was losing his mind. After he hung back from potions class to ask Snape about missing ingredients for polyjuice potion and got a confirmation that someone had taken stuff from his inventory, he was on a mission to find out who had done it. Crabbe and Goyle couldn’t stand being around him, his patience wearing thin and his attitude being through the roof, so he dealt with it alone.

He couldn't go storming up to Y/N without proof that it was polyjuice potion, she'd just tell him to bugger off again. So he made it his life’s mission (of the past few days) to hunt the person down — unfortunately, to no avail.

Y/N on the other hand was trying her damn hardest to keep her mind off of him, occupying herself by reading, walking the entire castle, and spending more time than usual with her family. She had eventually found Fred and George, who told her the only reason they’d been avoiding her was because they knew they wouldn’t be able to hold back the rude comments about him and didn’t want to hurt her further.

So, it came as a major surprise to Y/N when Draco stormed up to her during dinner and shoved her out of the way, pointing his finger at the twins, “You two…. you two ruined everything.”

“We don’t know what you’re talking about.” George crossed his arms, “You’re the one who went off snogging someone else.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Draco sneered, “It was one of you two.”

Y/N stepped up, placing her hand on Draco’s chest and turning him to face her, “Uh, I think you’ve lost your mind.”

“Let me explain,” Draco didn’t look at her, instead keeping his eyes on the twins, “First of all, when everyone started accusing me of snogging someone who I hadn’t even seen that day, I knew something was off. Then, it hit me, so I asked Snape if any of the ingredients for polyjuice potion had been stolen from his office, and he said yes. So I did some digging. One, I tried to check who was in the castle at that time that would have something against me — against my relationship with Y/N. My first thought was her family.”

“What if someone just fancied Parkinson?” Fred asked, also crossing his arms, eyebrows raised as if he were standing off against Draco.

“Not possible,” Draco continued, “So, process of elimination. She mentioned to me the night before that Ginny and Ron were going to the quidditch game — leaving you two. When I was sitting out in the courtyard, you two just happened to walk by and give me the dirtiest of stares, as if you already knew I had done something wrong. How would you have known about the kiss if you hadn’t seen me, nor Y/N?”

Y/N felt her heart sink and she looked over at her brothers, not even focusing on the fact that so many people were staring at them. Draco wasn’t exactly being quiet, but she didn’t seem to pay attention to that, her eyes trained on her family around her.

“Is this — is this true?” Y/N’s voice cracked as she looked at her brothers, “Did you use polyjuice potion to look like Draco to kiss Pansy so him and I would break up?”

Fred and George looked down to their little sister, their faces filled with sorry. She had her answer. She sat down on the bench, her legs giving in underneath her. Her own brothers lied. They crushed her heart. She had never done anything to them, and they ruined her relationship, probably finding it funny in the process.

“Y/N, we’re so sorry,” Fred knelt down, looking her in the eye, his face scanning hers for any sign of forgiveness. She could feel the anger and betrayal bubbling in her chest. George placed his hand on her shoulder, gripping ever so tightly as if his actions were speaking louder than his words. Which, in the end, they did.

“You arse! Both of you! You’re unbelievable.” she stood up, giving her brothers a good shove, “I knew you wouldn’t be happy with Draco and I, but this is low. Incredibly low. Even for you two.”

She glared at them and stormed out of the hall, her heart shattered even more than it had been days ago. Draco chased after her, not caring about the rest of her family as he caught up to her.

“Y/N, hold up,” Draco grabbed her arm, twisting her around to face him. The tears were pouring down her face, and he could feel his heart break as he took in her expression. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, rubbing her back slowly as she cried. He shielded her away from onlookers, cornering her behind a wall so they could be in private.

“I can’t believe them.” she sobbed, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes on her sleeve, “My brothers. They’re my family, they’re supposed to support me, no?”

Draco didn’t really know much about family support — in his mind, Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy weren’t exactly winning any ‘parent of the year’ awards — but even he knew how close the Weasley family was, and how much that meant to her.

He continued soothing her, placing kisses on her forehead every now and then.

“Draco — I’m so sorry,” she looked up at him, “I’ve been avoiding you for days and I didn’t hear you out when you told me it wasn’t you. I was just so crushed. I was selfish, I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Draco shook his head, “Don’t apologize. I don’t blame you. You saw what you saw. You handled it way better than I would have if the tables had been turned.”

Y/N giggled, wrapping her arms around his waist, “Thanks for figuring it out. It sucks, but I’m glad you didn’t actually cheat.”

He placed one of his hands under her chin, tilting her head up in the slightest so he could lean down and press his lips on hers. She leaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the back of his neck and lacing her fingers through his hair. It was tender, passionate, and every ounce of love these two had for each other could be felt through their gentle movements.

Reluctantly, Draco pulled away, “C’mon, why don’t we go for a walk to take your mind off of everything.”

Y/N grinned, nodding her head and interlacing her hand with his, walking outside into the brisk night air, stars shining brightly up above them, with Draco by her side again. She knew she’d end up forgiving her idiot brothers eventually, they were her family after all, but right now, all she could focus on was the pure bliss she felt from having her boyfriend back.

“I love you,” she smiled up at him as they continued walking at a slow pace, enjoying one another’s company.

“And I love you,” he gave her nose a light poke, smiling his dazzling smile as they stared up at the stars.

[pinkhairedlily]

Chapter 7 - Student Council President Sakura

SCPS AO3 | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Sakura went to her shift a little bit giddier than usual for a variety of reasons despite the busy holiday season; it was nearing Christmas after all. The first one – having finally tied with Sasuke in their recent exams, and the second – the approval of her personal project. There was also a third reason, but she was unresolved of what to feel.

Kakashi met with her alone after their monthly council meeting. It was the usual talk, the heavy administrative concerns they do not bother other council members with, reminders about problematic behaviors among the student body or personal problems that faculty or students were plagued with that needed intervention. He said an apology just as she reached the door.

“Sakura?” Kakashi asked, turning in his chair.

She looked back at him with a neutral expression. While she knew she wasn’t overtly passive aggressive in her actions, he might have noticed a change in her cheerful disposition towards him. Her clumped fingers anxiously fidgeted with the rubber band on her wrist, his rubber band that she didn’t use anymore to tie her hair. “Yes, sensei?”

“Were you offended with what I said during the school trip?” he asked, but his expression already seemed to know the answer.

Her eyes downcast, she turned the knob of the door, knowing that she was free to leave without replying, but as the door stayed ajar, she decided to come clean. “Yes.”

“I thought as much. I’m aware that I belittled you like a child. Your money is yours to spend however you want. Please know that I only have good intentions with what I’ve done,” her sensei told her. “But isn’t it also unfair for you to shoulder that much problem? I’m a paid employee and before that, I am your adviser. I have a responsibility just as much as you do. Next time you are presented with that, learn to ask for help.”

Sakura didn’t see the expression he had on his face. She was too flustered to compose a comeback and she can only settle for a meek nod before shooting out of the room like her tail was on fire.

“Girlie!” Her coworker’s voice brought her back to reality – a reality of a long queue of customers waiting for their to-go coffees, mini-cakes, and boxes of pastries to share with loved ones in this cold night while she’ll be likely stuck in shift well past beyond midnight, tolerating the café uniform, the itch of her black weave on her scalp, and the heavy makeup she wore for tonight. She flashed an apologetic (yet charming) smile to the other person, and they gave her a thumbs up.

The queue has thinned out by eleven, to be replaced soon by stragglers hoping to catch a last dose of caffeine pump. She stretched her neck and stifled a yawn, forgetting to say Welcome to a customer that walked through their doors.

“Your sweetest drink please and a half dozen of hazelnut cookies,” the customer said. “Thanks, Sakura.”

She almost broke her already strained neck when she raised it up quickly to meet the owner of the voice. No gel blonde hair Naruto with black circles under his eyes. Rookie MVP looked shit as hell.

She barely formed an excuse in her head when he waved his hand in front of her. “You can drop the act with me. I already knew the week you got discharged from the hospital. I just passed by after dinner with the team when I saw a girl manning the cashier with the same band-aid on her nose which I gave you a day before.” Naruto grinned at her in the off chance that it would reassure her.

“Will this be to-go?” Sakura asked as she busied herself with Naruto’s order, unsettled with her carelessness. At the back of her mind, she was yet to answer herself why she was adamant to use a disguise while working.

“For here. Apartment’s kinda bare during these times.”

As what she expected, Naruto was still seated when they were about to close, and ironically, he chose the corner table with no windows, contrary to what his other friend would have chosen. Like those usual nights with Sasuke, she slid in front of him, her disguise gone.

“Let’s go see the amusement park tomorrow?” It was as if she saw sadness being lifted from his shoulders the way they transitioned from slouching to an alert stance.

She found then that Naruto was always that person that found happiness at the simplest things.

--------------------------------

“A horror house!” Naruto pointed at the very moment they stepped inside the park. He somehow absorbed his captain’s fashion persona, undercut prominent with his baseball cap, loose plain black shirt, and gray cargo pants.

“All right. Treat me if we reach the other end with you clinging to my arm,” Sakura teased. She was dressed in a mauve smocked crop top with high rise flared jeans and platform white sneakers that allowed her to reach Naruto’s shoulders. She wondered if her getup was too much what with the number of heads that turned her way as she littered in the entrance earlier.

Sasuke begged off through their group chat, saying he was unavailable. He was yet to explain that group hug last time, but he was evasive every time Naruto brought it up while she simply cannot find the right timing.

She guessed she was still taken aback by how warm his hold felt like. If she was right, whatever defenses he had around them were toppled down by himself that day. But what triggered it – she’d probably never know.

Naruto placed a fist on his chest. “This is one bet I’ll never lose.”

And he lost – spectacularly. His baseball cap was long gone thanks to a zombie who panicked when he almost punched it. He was also hyperventilating and sweating out of his wits, his throat may have gone hoarse by now with all his screaming inside.

Sakura cannot get rid of the long string of laughter that bubbled. “Come on, let’s cool off for a while.”

To help calm Naruto down, they had to line up with all the other kids in the merry-go-round, then off to paddle a swan boat on a manmade lake. She went all out in the shooting range and won Naruto a frog plushie while he blitzed through the basketball hoops, sneering at the kids beside him who were waiting for their turns.

They capped off the afternoon with a ride on the ferris wheel. They sat opposite each other, and Sakura suddenly felt queasy. She remembered she was apparently acrophobic, and so she focused instead on Naruto who was still in awe of the scenery. The park had a busy crowd today – it was the holiday season after all and families, friends, and lovers were up and about. She just hoped Naruto didn’t catch on yet.

“So why are you stuck with me instead of your family, Sakura?”

Ah he caught on. “They’re busy,” she simply replied. “Besides I’ll see them later in the evening.”

Naruto smiled at her, a smile that knew she was hiding more but he chose not to prod further. Sakura silently conveyed her thanks.

“I don’t know how to thank you. I was really in a slump when we lost, but this day made me recharge my drive and gave me a newfound resolve. You, Pres, is the first to hear it!”

Sakura can only grin, urging him to go on.

“I will bring our school team to the nationals and we will win.”

Sakura clapped her hands and gave him a thumbs up. “Of course, you will. I know you’ll do it.”

“I just wish I told Captain Haru before he left town for vacation.” Naruto slid lower in his seat. “Apparently, he and Hinata broke up. You’re friends with both of them, right?”

Sakura shook her head, shock at the news. She had an inkling from her previous conversation with Haru, but she didn’t expect it would come this early. “I am, but I haven’t really heard from both parties lately.”

“Well, Hinata’s father offered an athletic scholarship to Cap, but he turned it down, saying he was undeserving, and it might just be because of Hinata’s prodding.”

If she recalled correctly, Hiashi Hyuuga was the chair of the Sports Council that spanned all districts of their state. She could see why Haru was angry and disappointed enough to break it off with Hinata. “But they were so good together. Did he ever tell you how they first met?”

Naruto rubbed his hands together and leaned forward. “Do tell please!”

“There was a student exchange of some sort and Hinata ended up in our class for a month. Of course, she was the takane no hana and this immediately gathered a bandwagon group of shallow admirers. Haru, oh Haru, he found pretty people depth-less, but he was the class representative that time – “

“And you were?”

“Of course, a student council president. But wait pay attention Naruto!”

“Okay I am paying attention! But you really are an overachiever!”

“Yeah and what about it!” Sakura almost chuckled in exasperation. “So anyway, he had to escort Hinata back and forth at the school gates because of the unreasonable crowd. He would ask her random things, but most especially on archery since he was so bad at it. And they found a common ground and the topics expanded beyond the arrow and bow. The guy had the nerve to cover it up from me at first, saying they’re fake dating and it was just an arrangement to keep creeps at bay.” She sighed, suddenly saddened by the breakup. “I thought it would last forever.”

“But Hinata never introduced him to her family, did she?” Naruto asked. “Because Cap also told me that when Hiashi called him up for the offer, he didn’t know he was the boyfriend, he was simply a person her friend referred.”

Oh Haru. You must have known what family you were entering when you loved her.

“Hey? Time to get down,” the operator said. Their turn was already finished.

As they walked to the gates, Naruto asked her. “Love is too scary. You’ll never know if you’ll end up hurt or happy despite everything. Besides, can you even say it’ll be worth fighting for?”

Sakura’s fingers immediately went to the rubber band on her wrist, “It’s always a mix of everything, all the good and the bad, and somehow it’s all convoluted into one hodgepodge of memories that will be a part of you forever. It’s your decision what you want to do with it, and in between all of those, you’ll know. Like one big realization in your head that lights up like fireworks and splayed in big capital letters.”

Her eyes met Naruto’s gaze and his eyes slightly widened at her response.

“I talk vague, don’t I?”

“Not at all,” he replied.

--------------------------------

January couldn’t come fast enough, and Itachi was out of the country just as quickly as he entered his apartment unannounced on Christmas Eve. A holiday break, he said, but if he wasn’t annoyingly checking up on him in the evenings, he was otherwise holed up in his hotel. The truth was, he had a conference and a simultaneous workshop with the state hospital. Sasuke was just a side trip, an obligation that his brother didn’t want to take care of.

He could have told him about Naruto and Sakura and how he now knew all the technicalities of baseball because of the former and that he can consider calling them as friends, but their brotherly bond was too frayed to bridge all of those thoughts.

It was a week before the start of the spring term, and he found himself re-reading Naruto’s texts over and over again.

Grumpy.

So how was your date?

AHHHHH SO IT WAS A DATE. I NOW FEEL SO SHY.

Idiot.

SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL IN HER GETUP.

Yeah as if you two didn’t already spam the group chat with your pictures.

HEY AT LEAST WE EDITED YOU IN.

Why are you typing in all caps? Your phone broken?

GRUMPPPPPPYYYYY. Grumpy, I have something to tell you. I think I like Sakura – not the ‘like’ like others have for her. It just came to me, like fireworks in big capital letters. I LIKE HER.

Sasuke wasn’t able to reply. He didn’t know what to reply or what to feel, really. These recent nights, his mind only brought him to the first moment he saw her in the café, and there was an unfamiliar pang he couldn’t name.

Then, suddenly he was in front of her in the café itself, ordering an iced americano and bruschetta with tomato and basil. Her eyes lit up in recognition; today she wore her black hair in low pigtails and a light dab of tint on her cheeks and lips.

She sat across him when it was her break time, cheery and still in disguise, the winter cold making the blush even more prominent. “I’m gonna bounce some ideas to you.”

Sasuke kept mum, relishing the sacred combination of tomato and basil in his mouth, but let his stare level with hers.

“The school board approved my personal project. I proposed to set up a mental health committee since our infirmary – get this – and guidance office don’t actually have a psychiatrist. The school will be asking a medical professional to come in for monthly guidance counseling and will be an official partner for outpatient concerns.” With her face on her palm, she leaned forward, seemingly surveying Sasuke’s minute expressions.

“That’s tricky,” he remarked. “How will you encourage them though?”

“I think just the mere availability and accessibility of it is enough to encourage students.”

“Hmm.” He took a sip of his coffee.

“Aren’t you gonna ask me why I did it?”

Sasuke knew that he already broke his resolve to remain uninvolved in the remaining years of his life here in this town. He knew that sometime ago, the walls he built up since the accident broke down in the constant presence of her and the blonde idiot. But in spite of, he knew that there was another layer of wall that withstood the recent onslaught. Unfortunately, something has started to leak from its crevices. Something that made him understand the overwhelming emotions that raged behind such walls.

He missed having her all to himself, like a little secret, a safe abode he could always retreat to – her with her black hair and makeup, her with her bouts of vulnerabilities laid out in front of him in rare moments, her with her emerald eyes and tufts of rose hair that peak from the weave, her in this table in front of him and the world outside divided by a glass window.

If he could name it, it was a feeling of loss, a loss he stole and a loss he never had the privilege of feeling in the first place.

“Because you’re a good person and you always think of others,” Sasuke started, still holding her gaze. “And I think you want it because you might need it more.”

Sakura was the first to break off. She soon excused herself and resumed her shift. By the time Sasuke finished his coffee and bread, it was almost closing time. His words may have struck a chord so he decided not to wait for her. Maybe he’ll talk it through with her next time, if she allowed him to. He was almost out of the doors when the new pair of customers passed by.

A glint of silver hair.

“Oh, hello there Sakura.”

And a brunette on his arm.

Sasuke never saw color drain as quickly as the blush did from Sakura’s face.

AO3 LINK | NEXT CHAPTER | CHAPTER 8

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #37 (Bonus)

Orion Amari x MC

A/N: First bonus chapter! Quite some people asked me when Everett might get what he deserves. Well, here you go (finally)! Judith Harris belongs to @judediangelo75 , David Willows to @that-scouse-wizard and Katriona KC Cassiopeia – as always – to my wonderful wifey @kc-needs-coffee

Warning: The smallest mention of blood

Word Count: ~ 2.700

_________________________________

Bonus - Chapter 37: Doppelbeater Defense

Despite of the biting wind in her face as she whizzed through the air, Lizzie could feel a drop of sweat making its way down beneath her shoulder blades and along her spine. Ignoring the soft tickle, she gripped the Quaffle tighter and held it to her body as she ducked beneath a Bludger send in her direction by Erika Rath and prepared to make her move.

Whipping her broomstick sideways at the last possible moment, she used the momentum to let go of the Quaffle and send it through the left one of the other team’s hoops. The Keeper had no chance to block her throw and she broke into a grin as the goalposts lit up for a moment, signalling her success to the crowd.

“Jameson scores for her team in an almost artistic manner!” Murphy reaffirmed only moments later. “Her choice of hoop came 68.5 % unexpected and left the Keeper with no chance to deflect the Quaffle in time.”

Her grin widened as she flew along the stands and let the whooping of the fans spur her on. Considering that they were only playing a friendly, the stands were packed. The Quidditch season was over and Hufflepuff the reigning Quidditch champion; to let out some of the penned up energy, Orion and Rath had decided to organise a mixed match for the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw teams. With the exams being almost over, a lot of their peers had found their way onto the scalding hot pitch today, just happy to escape the dusky shadows of the castle for a few hours.

In full flight, she held onto the handle of her broom before coming into a standing position as she surfed past her friends, raising her fist into the air. Lizzie had pretty much abandoned broom surfing for a long time, but had picked it up again this year; ever since she and Orion had started dating officially three weeks earlier, it had slowly but surely developed into her favourite way to celebrate a scored goal.

Sitting down, Lizzie made her way back into the middle of the pitch again. With a smile just as bright as her own, Orion came up beside her, visibly proud of both her goal and her skilled display of his favourite flying technique; he had taught it to her after all. He clapped his gloved hand on her shoulder and gave her the smallest wink. When the Quaffle re-entered the game, he smirked, turned around and was gone chasing after it.

Completely lost in thought, Lizzie stared after him. The place on her shoulder where his hand had rested only moments earlier, was still tingling and she felt her heart beat faster. She watched as he relieved Skye of the Quaffle with a laugh and a graceful swipe of his hand. Even though it had been some time since they had gotten together now, the thought that he was actually her boyfriend still felt surreal to her.

She was violently broken out of her dazed state when she saw a Bludger racing towards her at a ridiculous speed. It was aimed straight for her head and she only managed to duck out of it’s way at the last moment. She could feel the air move as it whizzed past her, her heart beating in her ears, this time from pure adrenaline. She let out a shaky breath; that had been a close one.

Straightening up again, she whipped her broomstick around and flew over to Everett, who had beat the iron sphere her way. He smirked at her flustered state as she came to a halt directly in front of him.

“Are you mad or what?” Lizzie snapped at him. “This is supposed to be a friendly! We don’t go for the head in a friendly!”

Unimpressed, Everett looked her up and down haughtily. “Shut it, Jameson, it’s your problem if your distracted.”

His sneer turned into a derogatory smirk as he continued, “You’d better focus, sunshine; we wouldn’t want that pretty face of yours smashed, would we? I guess, the captain would like you considerably less then. After all, there’s not much more to you than a halfway decent look.”

Her temper flaring for a moment, Lizzie had the strong urge to just push Everett of his broom and be done with it. Instead, she took a deep breath, grit her teeth and left him behind. Arguing with the sixth-year was no use; she knew it was his hurt pride speaking. He had been shooting snide remarks at her ever since she and Orion had become a couple. Letting him get under her skin was exactly what he wanted.

Even though she tried to ignore his comments, Everett was far from done with her. Every time she came close to him over the course of the match, he was shouting a new profanity at her, every new one worse than the last. After a while, despite her best efforts, his verbal attacks were distracting her so much she couldn’t concentrate on playing anymore.

Her passes were starting to get unprecise, her manoeuvres were failing more often than not. When she tried to bring the Quaffle past the opposing Keeper, her throw got blocked with ease. Annoyed with herself, Lizzie gave vent to her frustration with a scream and a hit against the handle of her Comet.

Her increasing anger didn’t go unnoticed by Orion. Hovering beside her, he was trying to centre her again with his calm, reassuring voice until Lizzie felt her rage melt away at the sight of his smile. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at him thankfully and returned into action by his side.

But Orion hadn’t been the only one to notice Everett’s constant slurs. Judith and Katriona, who was one of the Ravenclaws playing on Lizzie’s team, had already shared more than one eyeroll ever since Everett had started attacking their friend. All of them were sick and tired of his rudeness anyway, but his behaviour today was just downright disgusting.

When the Hufflepuff Beater made the mistake of sending a Bludger to the spot where both of them were hovering in the air, KC and Judith only needed to share a look between them to know what to do.

Anticipating the rotating Bludger with their bats raised and ready, they hit the Bludger both at the same time. It changed its course back to its sender with incredible speed, leaving Everett no time to dodge it. With an audible, ugly sounding crack it collided with his nose, blood spurting out of his nostrils as he dropped his bat and cried out in pain.

Murphy winced into his megaphone as the stands around him erupted into cheers. “Ouch, that must have hurt, ladies and gentlemen! Someone had better get Madam Pomfrey to take a look at this, there’s a 98.6 % chance of a really nasty bruise.”

The laughter in Murphy’s clear voice was very badly hidden and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. “But all jokes aside, the only thing more fabulous than this perfect display of one of the most challenging Beater manoeuvres known to any skilled Quidditch strategist is the sheer perfection of the two players conducting it! With Harris’s unmatched strength and Cassiopeia’s unrivalled technique, the Tigress and Ravenclaw’s rising star effectively knock Everett out of the game, giving their team a considerable advantage.”

It was true; Everett had clapped his hands in front of his face and was in no state to stay on his broomstick much longer, let alone continue playing. His eyes shot daggers at them through his fingers, Judith glaring back and KC only shrugging it off nonchalantly; he’d had it coming after all.

*

Luckily for all of them, the Snitch had been caught pretty quickly after KC and Judith had broken Everett’s nose, leaving no room for more injuries, accidental or no.

Being a member of his original team, Orion had insisted on escorting Everett to the Hospital Wing, however impossible he might have acted. Madam Pomfrey had been busy when they had arrived, so her assistant had taken care of him. Her healing spells were usually impeccable, but today she claimed she had been distracted by a nasty headache. Lizzie suspected very much she hadn’t been distracted at all. They had left a cursing and ranting Everett to her further care and had made their way to the Great Hall.

With one more exam still ahead of them, Murphy and Orion had separated from the rest of the team to go over their notes together, while Judith, KC and Lizzie had found seats at the Hufflepuff table.

They were chatting about the match, the Charms exam taking place in two days’ time and the prospect of new players come next season. While KC was enjoying the prospect of fresh blood, both Lizzie and Judith were sighing at the idea of having to spend another year with Everett on their team.

“You know, David Willows could step up,” Judith suggested between two bites of her dinner. “He’d fit the team so much better than that airhead.”

Lizzie tilted her head. “I thought he was stuck in detention forever.”

“Only for the whole year, next year he should be free again,” Judith shrugged, “if he doesn’t do any more stupid stunts, that is.”

“Any more stupid stunts and get caught, you mean,” KC added with a smirk.

Judith laughed. “Naturally.”

Her golden eyes wandered from her friends’ faces to something in Lizzie’s back and one of her eyebrows arched in dismay. “Speaking of the devil…”

Lizzie turned around to see Everett stomping their way. His face was looking truly dreadful; his nose was hidden under a thick bandage and the skin around it red and bruised. The proportions of his usually not unattractive face were oddly contorted by the swelling. What was visible of the rest of his face was screaming murder as he approached them.

He drew himself up to his full height as he stared down at the three girls. He would have looked threatening had his broken nose not made quiet wheezing noises every time he breathed.

“Look what you did to my face,” he snarled at them through gritted teeth, his fists shaking with rage. “This is all your fault! That incompetent amateur of a healer said my nose might not go back to the way it was before! You’ll answer for this!”

Lizzie shifted uncomfortably in her seat under his glare. She was honestly sick of him and his attitude and wished he would just leave them in peace; she’d had her share of insults for the day and was too tired to get into a fight.

Judith and KC, on the other hand, didn’t seem to share her notion. Judith looked him up and down, her muscular arms crossed in front of her chest, while KC’s eyes never left him. She took a deliberately slow sip of her coffee.

“I don’t see your problem,” she answered coolly after setting her mug back down. “How did you put it? It’s your fault if you’re distracted.”

She turned her attention to her fingernails, as if the sheer presence of the seething Hufflepuff Beater was boring her out of her mind.

“Look at it that way: a crooked nose might suit you after all,” she continued. “I heard it gives people more character; Godric knows you’d need that.”

Despite herself, Lizzie had to snort into her cup of pumpkin juice at KC’s words. This turned out to be a mistake, however, when Everett turned all his attention on her.

He stepped forward, right into Lizzie’s personal space. He was effectively towering over her with no chance for her to get away as he bend down to hiss into her face.

“I have no idea what’s so funny about that, Jameson. Only because you’re shagging the captain doesn’t mean you’re special in any way. Harming your teammate intentionally is against the rules, I’ll have you and Harris kicked off the team. You’ll regret this!”

He abruptly straightened himself up and began striding away, head held high, not even sparing them another glance. If he had, he had probably seen KC turning and sneakily sticking her foot out. He caught on it and swayed for a moment before he tipped over and landed face down onto the floor with a resounding bang. He screamed and Lizzie was sure to hear the crunch deformed bones for a second time that day.

Everett turned around, staring up at them with pain and hate edged onto his face. He opened his mouth to say something but there was nothing coming out of it but a loud, high pitched whine.

Not impressed in the slightest, KC rose from her seat and set a foot on Everett’s chest to prevent him from getting up. Bending down, her long, strawberry blonde curls almost grazing his face, she locked eyes with him. There was a fury burning in her blue eyes that made him go cold on the inside.

“You’re right, harming your teammates is against the rules – good thing you aren’t one of mine,” she hissed at him.

She slightly increased the pressure of her foot on his chest. “So, if I hear one more word about our lovely Lizzie or my fantastic friend Orion coming from your filthy mouth ever again, be sure to know that the next Bludger will be aimed lower – a lot lower.”

A confident smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Consider this a warning; according to Murphy I have a pretty good accuracy of 97.8 %.”

Everett made a strangled sound as KC stepped over him, applying her full weight onto his body for a moment. Judith followed her, driving the point home by tapping her Beater’s bat on his chest as she walked by with a hard stare.

KC turned her head and looked down at him; she might as well have looked at a cockroach.

“On a sidenote,” she added, suddenly sounding very sweet, “I heard the N.E.W.T.s are pretty tough to prepare for. Maybe you might want to reconsider returning to the Hufflepuff team next year. Don’t you worry about your position, we know just the replacement for you.”

“You’re bright spirit will be missed, but I think we’ll get over it,” Judith agreed with a satisfied smirk.

Everett’s gaze flicked from one to the other; if Lizzie didn’t know any better, she’d say he was actually scared of her friends.

When KC and Judith turned around to walk away, he muttered a curse under his breath, prompting the redheaded Ravenclaw to turn around again.

“What was that?”

All defiance lost, Everett cowered in on himself. “Nothing.”

“Good.”

KC’s eyes rose to Lizzie, who was still sitting at the table, staring at the scene unfolding in front of her. “Liz, are you coming?”

Lizzie snapped out of it, got up and didn’t miss out on stepping over Everett herself, a big grin on her face. Judith and KC both flanked her, linking arms with each other as they marched her out of the Great Hall.

“Godric, did you see his face?” Lizzie chuckled as soon as they were out of earshot. “He’s going to have nightmares, I bet.”

Turned more serious again, she glanced at KC. “But was that really necessary?”

“It was,” KC answered equally as serious. “He practically begged for this for a long time now.”

“I’d have done anything to not have to put up with him for another year,” Judith agreed wholeheartedly.

Lizzie laughed and pulled her friends closer as the three of them marched across the Entrance Hall in lockstep.

“Thanks girls, I appreciate it. Just do me the favour of reminding me to never ever cross my Beater Babes.”

[sunflowerandco]

Act VI: Looking Back

Rating: T for language

previous acts on the link in my bio :)

Hey everyone. After my favorite combo meal of some good ol' depression™ and school, I'm back to writing! I really hope you enjoy and I'm very thankful for all of the support if you stuck around this long. Thank you so much ❤

I hope you enjoy this origin story for Duncney in this universe

5 years before Act V

Bridgette approached a very focused Courtney in the hall. "Hey, Court. Got any plans this weekend?"

She responded, her face still buried in the locker she was trying to organize before heading home for the weekend. "Studying, studying, and more studying. I've got two AP exams in two weeks and my livelihood depends on me getting good enough grades."

"Is there any chance you have one day to let yourself have some fun?"

Courtney pondered and knew her response wouldn't please her friend. Still, she delivered it with a smile. "No." She knew Bridgette's campaign for fun was coming any second now as she shut her locker.

“You’ve been studying all week, Courtney. Come to Wasaga with us! My step-dad lent me the beach house for the weekend.”

Courtney felt apprehensive at the idea of a day on the beach with Bridgette, Geoff and their insistent need to suck face most of the time. “No thanks. I don’t want to be your third wheel.”

“You won’t be! It won’t be just me and Geoff. He practically invited our lunch period. Plus, Duncan’s coming...”

“And that holds significance to my decision because...?”

“...Because you like him.”

“I do not! He’s annoying, has no regard for authority, and is so, totally gross. I don’t need you setting up dates for me. At least not another disaster like Bradley.”

“To be fair, you did have a crush on him.”

“That was before I knew he was a total jerk.”

“What matters is that you gave him a chance. Why not give Duncan one? I've seen the way you look at him.” Courtney gave her look, signaling her to quiet down in front of everyone else occupying the halls. Bridgette smiled triumphantly and shrugged her shoulders matter-of-factly, finally getting through to Courtney.

"See? I'm never wrong." Bridgette walked off presumably to find Geoff. "I'll pick you up at two."

"I didn't say yes!"

"Love you, too!"

***

Courtney could deal with sweaty teenagers in a crowded setting. She could deal with speakers blaring in her ears. But, she couldn't stand to see Bradley's face across the room before running to Bridgette.

"Why is Bradley here?!"

"I don't know! I know for a fact Geoff didn't invite him. He was the only person off limits."

She knew she'd have to spend the better half of her day avoiding Bradley.

Courtney stood in front of the bathroom mirror of the beach house, washing her hands and reapplying her lip balm. For one thing, she had to hide from the guy she wasted a month of her life on. On the other hand, she couldn't find him. Not that she cared. Oh, no, no, no. Not Courtney. She didn't come to this outing hoping she'd find him. And she would never admit that even to herself.

When she exited the washroom, she bumped into a brown-haired, blue polo-wearing dudebro practically standing in front of the door.

"Hey, Courtney. You know you can't avoid me forever."

"It doesn't hurt to try."

"Listen, I just wanted to talk."

"In order for that to happen, there'd have to be something to talk about."

"Well, there is. I want to start all over. You and me. I've got drafts coming up for university football. Having a girl on my arm would help with my image and, well, I figured you could benefit changing that uptight, boring image everyone has on you."

Courtney scoffed, feigning interest. "Wow. While that sounds incredibly tempting-" Courtney started off with sarcasm.

Bradley wasn't the most receptive to rejection, but still persisted. "I knew you'd see it my way. It would help the both of us."

Courtney rolled her eyes at his insistent need to cut her off at every chance she had to speak. Her eyes diverted from his and her eyes gravitated to the neon green hair she spotted across the room. He hadn't noticed her stare, but seeing him made a sense calm take over her mind.

"...I'm gonna have to pass. Don't come up to me again wasting my time. I don’t need to associate myself with an asshole like you."

She finally felt like he would leave her alone for the remainder of senior year after letting him hear it. Courtney knew that wasn't the answer he wanted from his displeased layer of expression on his face. She held her hand out with a smile.

"Pleasure doing business with you." He begrudgingly shook her hand to save face from possible onlookers.

***

Duncan, Geoff, and DJ were all engrossed in conversation when Duncan's attention rerouted in Courtney's direction. DJ's voice faded slowly out of the forefront. "...All I'm saying is if dude didn't want his underwear up the flagpole, he should stop leaving it around the locker room!"

"What is he doing here?" Duncan was covertly protective over Courtney in the aspect of terrible ex-boyfriends. His reaction to seeing her shake hands with him made Geoff and DJ turn in that direction.

"I don't know, man. I swear I didn't invite that joke. It seems like they're making up, so that's good." The can Duncan held warped in shape as his grip tightened.

It was no secret how Duncan felt about Bradley. He had to spend two months convincing people that pantsing him, throwing eggs at his car and TP'ing his house were all in the name of fun and not some way of avenging Courtney.

He didn't mean to avoid her after the fact, but it made controlling his emotions easier.

***

Courtney, fresh off of telling Bradley off, finally felt she was able to enjoy herself for the day. As the day transitioned into a darker, breezy evening, her introverted nature dwindled as she allowed herself to let go. Catching up with acquaintances from various classes, taking in the ocean views, and the overall atmosphere made her feel recharged in a rare feat. Still, it was hard to find Duncan while sticking to Bridgette's side. She'd hate to verbally admit she missed trading meaningless quips with him, and it was out of the ordinary for them to be in the same setting without exchanging any words. She separated from her friend when she wandered around several spaces of the house. Then, she heard him.

He was projecting his conversation loud enough for onlookers to hear what he said. "It's actually sad how many times and ways I had to reject that girl. Even today I had to tell her to stay away from me. I mean, why would I want to associate with her?" A few laughs could be heard from the same acquaintances she caught up with at his declarations of rejection all created by him.

Duncan decided he'd heard enough and approached him. "You better watch you say around here. Courtney's not around to defend herself, and I'm known for not using my words to solve problems."

"Oh? Is that bitch your piece of ass for the week?" Bradley immediately felt threatened at how much Duncan was fuming at him. Duncan swung a fist, but he moved out of the way quick enough to dodge the attack.

Geoff immediately came between the two of them to settle the tension. "Just get out of here, dude."

***

She heard every word of it. She didn't want to defend herself for once. Her mind just kept repeating to itself. You need to get out. She sat on the sand with her knees pulled to her chest. Courtney felt Duncan sit next to her without a greeting. She still spoke lowly to fill the silence between them. "What gives him the right to think he can do and say whatever he pleases like that?!"

"You're right. Let me let him have it, Princess."

"No, it's not worth it. He's not, at the very least. And you need to stop getting into trouble all the time."

At the time, Duncan's need for revenge couldn't be subdued. He'd let it go for now, but his mind wouldn't rest until he felt justice was served on that rich, entitled fuck. "It's not like anyone cares if I do. Everyone just wants to police me-"

"I do." She immediately retreated to the ocean's view after she blurted those two words out pretty angrily.

A silent moment passed between the two of them. His brain felt like mush hearing that and seeing the bright reflection of the moon on her skin. All of his previous thoughts were clouded leaving one subject clear. He quietly said the first thing that came to his mind. "You look beautiful."

Courtney had gotten used to Duncan calling her nicknames. They were mostly delivered backhanded in response to her insults. This time it was unprovoked. It blurred the lines between real and fake. She decided not to respond and change the subject instead. She crossed her arms in defense of the drop in temperature. "I want nothing more than to leave this stupid place."

"Here." He said as he peeled the t-shirt off his back. Courtney truly didn't mean to stare as the fabric became less and less attached to his torso. He handed it to her after noticing she shivered when the wind picked up speed. She looked away quicker than she wanted him to notice.

"As if I need another reason for people to look at me weirdly."

He knew she just reacted the way they're expected to treat each other, but it still upset him for reasons he couldn't decipher fast enough. She immediately noticed his face fall, instantly regretting her delivery. "I didn't really mean that. Thank you." She smoothed out the wrinkles after letting the shirt fall over her body.

He couldn't stay mad at her for long, especially when her regret was so apparent on her face. Duncan considered the embarrassment she faced, and figured she was trying to regain some normalcy in their relationship. "Don't worry about it. Let me take you home."

Courtney didn't object, following him through the sandy plains to his car. After finding a tank top in the trunk, he slipped it over his upper half. Duncan opened the door on the passenger side for Courtney to enter. Moments that didn't include bickering scared Courtney. it was an occurrence that gave her mind the opportunity to wonder what a prolonged version of this happenstance would result in. Her feelings floating to the surface of her deeply buried psyche.

***

He didn't mean to drive in radio silence, but Duncan was more nervous than he'd like to admit. He almost ran a red light when he noticed the newly-acquired tan the sun gave her soft, warm skin as she crossed her legs in the passenger seat. He slammed on the brakes just in time, still startling her. "Duncan! I didn't accept your offer with the expectation of dying in your car!" It wasn't the greatest question, but he was relieved she opened a window of conversation to flow between them.

"What was your expectation, then, Princess?"

"Delinquent-proof driving!"

"You know it wouldn't kill you to be...nice?"

"And ruin the amazing dynamic of our relationship? I wouldn't dare!"

"I don't want anything to be 'ruined' either. Nothing will stop me from annoying you, no matter what happens between us."

Courtney relinquished in relief. She then remembered the very moment her fear took over. Acknowledging it meant accepting the affect his words had on her. Accepting those indulgent stares and rare, shared smiles. Despite her fears, she asked. "If you don't want anything to change, why did you call me beautiful the way you did?"

Surprised by the indicative effect of his words, Duncan responded as if the answer were so obvious, still attentive to the road ahead of him. "Because you are...? Nothing's gonna change because of that. I've always thought you were. I'll stop if you want me to."

Courtney felt her heart triple in size when she boldly responded, letting herself say whatever her heart told her to. "Don't... stop?" She stammered, even changed the pace of her words as she fought off her nervousness. "I... don't want you to stop."

"Okay, beautiful." Courtney's chest radiated with warm waves as she looked out the window. She looked in the opposite direction and noticed one of his hands resting in the space between their seats. Her mind and heart wrestled back and forth between doing what truly called to her. To shut them up, she turned her attention to the road ahead. And, like some gravitational pull, her hand made it's way toward his free one. A swipe of the back of each other's hands was enough to: burn beneath the surface of their skin; Duncan immediately caught on to her intentions. He tried to stay focused on the road as they fumbled, palm to palm, and slowly interlocked their fingers with the other's one-by-one. The silence after realizing how perfectly they fit was easy, comfortable, yet deafening.

At a red light, Duncan used the hand on the steering wheel to turn the radio to any random station he saved. Neither of them knew the song, but wouldn't forget any lyric of it after this.

You can't stop us on the road to freedom

You can't stop us 'cause our eyes can see

Men with insight, men in granite

Knights in armor intent on chivalry

She's as sweet as Tupelo honey

She's an angel of the first degree

***

When he pulled up to her street and their hands pulled apart, Courtney felt hollow. Duncan's mind conjured ways to make the moment last longer. "I'll walk you to your door." Courtney didn't object once more, smiling at his reciprocated persistence.

"Okay." The path, while short and forward in leading them to the door, gave them time before the eventual goodbye they dreaded. Courtney fumbled with her keys hoping to buy more time. Fleeting, fickle, borrowed time for a moment they used to curse themselves for dreaming of. He initiated.

"So... see you on Monday?"

"Of course. Um...thanks. For everything."

"It's no problem, Courtney. Goodnight." He leaned in and Courtney's breathing wavered. Duncan gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Courtney's hand rose to her face in an attempt to calm the burning sensation he left. This would suffice for what he really wanted to do. If he was right about the impact he assumed he had, he was doing the right thing for now.

Courtney hated to see him walk further from her and toward the car. In some entranced state, her hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him in closer.

Maybe she leaned in the wrong way; she over-estimated the distance between them as their noses collided with each other's causing them to both groan in pain. Her ache quickly shifted to embarrassment as she hastily spilled out her rambled apologies. "I'm so-so sorry! Oh my God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Her rambling ceased when Duncan pulled her in once again, his lips crashing onto hers with a yearning force. Her lips quickly overlapped his as his fingers tangled themselves in her hair, her arms linking around his neck. They parted for air but remained still with their hands attached to the other.

He'd never done something so worth it, unaware of the events to come.

[neocityarchive]

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head. 

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out. 

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech. 

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again. 

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise. 

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next. 

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard. 

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?” 

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang. 

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close. 

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say. 

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him. 

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak. 

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You:  i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question. 

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed.  “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked. 

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it. 

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.