#in my defense I had to level up 100 times in 2 weeks because I wast going to buy the BP and then someone gifted it to me

[moltenraider]

Now I'm on that moment in my life where I regret not playing enough of the last BP to get that one Monty style with the grey/lighter coat

[kafus]

how i caught entei in leafgreen in the most ridiculous way possible

SO last week i started a pokemon leafgreen file on my childhood cart i've had since my 5th birthday, and one my goals ended up being getting every owned dex entry possible in JUST the one copy of leafgreen without connecting to any other game… and i did. except i forgot one. ENTEI!!

like probably a lot of you reading this i COMPLETELY forgot that one of the johto roaming beasts is in every copy of FRLG. i never even caught any of them as a kid. which roamer you get is based on your starter (squirtle = raikou, bulbasaur = entei, charmander = suicune) and i happened to pick bulbasaur so my roamer was entei. it does actually ROAM in kanto, aka whenever you change locations, the pokemon moves to a new route. obviously this is a pain in the ass, but it gets even more painful because roamers can flee from the battle and they will the instant you encounter them. you get the chance to throw one ball or use one move and that's it… so like in most pokemon games, you would use a trapping move like mean look to keep the roamer in the battle and turn it into a normal legendary encounter, right? HAHA WRONG

raikou and entei are affected by the ROAMER ROAR BUG in FRLG, which means if they use roar to escape the battle (yes, even in mean look, it doesn't stop roar from working) they just disappear from the game. permanently. forever. you can never capture it. suicune is not affected by this because it doesn't have roar, but my roamer was entei, so uh. the odds were stacked against me. did i want to repetitively encounter the roamer over and over, never trapping it, just throwing one ball each time? or did i want to set up a mean look pokemon only to have to soft reset every time entei used roar? neither option sounded fun and i was going to just give up and master ball it despite REALLY wanting it in a luxury ball like all the other kanto legendaries i had already caught… UNTIL!

i am a moderator of the ribbon master discord (a different pokemon challenge) and i was just sorta liveposting my thought process about this annoying roamer when gen 3 rng manipulation extraordinaire ddeeffgg crashes into the chat and suggests this fucking bonkers idea. and his bonkers idea is galaxy brain LET ME EXPLAIN

ariados is available in leafgreen's post game by catching spinarak in pattern bush, and of course electrode is a fairly common kanto pokemon. ariados gets access to spider web, which is basically just mean look with a different name (and i completely forgot it existed), it traps the opponent in the battle. but IMPORTANTLY, it ALSO gets access to BATON PASS… which, in gen 3, passes the trapping effect! usually if you were to use spider web and swap out ariados, the opponent would no longer be trapped, but baton pass solves that! and then electrode has the ability soundproof which prevents roar from working, and it even gets thunder wave (paralysis) and sonicboom (consistent 20 damage with no chance of accidental crits) to assist in easier capture of entei! nice!! awesome!! but getting this setup in order is the most ridiculous shit i've ever done in leafgreen

PROBLEM #1: ariados gets baton pass through egg move. in gen 3, egg moves are only passed down by the father and not the mother, so i had to grab a male ledyba, grind it to a high enough level to learn baton pass, then grab a female spinarak and breed them together. unfortunately this means my ariados would be level 1 and i'd have to train it up quite a bit, which leads into my next problem…

PROBLEM #2: ariados is SLOWWW. its base speed is a measly 40 compared to entei's whopping 100! ariados needs to outspeed entei to use spider web first turn so entei can't just run away! i would have to get ariados to a very high level to outspeed entei, grinding all the way from level 1. the one plus side is that the roamers in FRLG are bugged to always have a 0 IV in defense, special attack, special defense, and speed, which means unless entei has a +speed nature, its speed would always be a predictable and relatively low 105 at level 50, which is what it's encountered at. so i had to get an ariados with a speed of 106 or higher.

to get around both these problems as efficiently as possible, while breeding spinarak, i bred quite a few to get one with a +speed nature, and ended up with a jolly spinarak. everstone doesn't work in FRLG unfortunately, so the nature was completely random each time. soon my DAUGHTER WAS BORN after like 2-3 hours of breeding because FRLG eggs are SLOOOW and i was being stubborn about the nature, which i was getting unlucky on LOL

then i maxed out her speed EVs real quick by fighting picnicker susie on route 13 over and over, who gives 12 speed EVs per battle, 24 with the macho brace, which i was using. this was just to make sure i would reach 106+ speed as fast as possible. then i grinded her levels by repetitively fighting the two trainers right outside the weird chansey dance guy's house in sevault canyon on seven island, right above tanoby ruins. using the vs seeker on them is the best grinding spot in the game since they give 20k experience per fighting both of them and there's a healing spot Right There. i was using exp share and leading with my level 100 jolteon named Egg who i adore with all my heart. ariados, now named koolaid, ended up crossing the speed threshold at level 62! yes this took a while lmao

as for electrode, i wanted one at as high of a level as possible so i hopefully wouldn't have to grind levels. i lucked out as electrode is found at a whopping level 64 in cerulean cave's bottom floor. a 5% encounter rate but as i had already caught numerous 5%s for the pokedex, i didn't really care. however it DOES have explosion and i'd rather not have the electrode explode on me before i could catch it which would then send me on a wild goose chase for ANOTHER 5% electrode… so i grabbed the random level 24 poliwhirl with the damp ability, which prevents explosion from working, out of my PC, and gave it a smoke ball from the celadon game corner so i could lead with her and easily run from each encounter that Wasn't Electrode.

now you may be wondering how i was going to handle capturing electrode once i was actually in the battle because SURELY it would just use thunderbolt or something and instantly murder my poliwhirl. however funnily enough electrode only has two attacking moves at level 64, swift and explosion. explosion obviously doesn't work, and swift is a physical attack in gen 3 due to all normal type moves being physical, this was before the physical/special split in gen 4. electrode's physical attack stat is a garbage 50 and swift only has a base power of 60 so i honestly wasn't concerned. and best of all, poliwhirl gets the move hypnosis, so i could easily put electrode to sleep and start chucking ultra balls… and the smoke ball ended up being useless because i somehow ran into electrode first try what the fuck LOL

anyways i named them gatorade to match with koolaid. truly the dream entei capturing team. i didn't even feel the need to grind any levels on gatorade, level 64 was more than enough, so i just slapped the two moves i wanted on them - thunder wave through the one-use tutor in silph co, and sonicboom through the move reminder on two island, costing me two tinymushrooms which i thankfully already had and did not have to go out of my way to grind.

however the hours worth of prep ISN'T DONE YET! because uhh…

PROBLEM #3: ariados has to be above entei's level to outspeed it (yes, even if it had a 31 IV in speed AND a speed boosting nature AND maximum speed EVs, it still wouldn't be enough at level 50), which means the repel trick can't be used to encounter it. tracking down the roamer is practically impossible without using repels to cancel out all other wild pokemon, and in gen 3, unlike later gens, you can't put a fainted pokemon in the front of the party for the repel trick instead. and if i DON'T lead with ariados, entei will run away when i try to swap into it. SO i decided i would have to run into entei once first through the repel trick method, which marks it as "seen" in the pokedex, and then i would track its location through the pokedex to encounter it while leading with ariados.

to accomplish this, i simply ran in and out of the building on route 16, going in and out of the grass in the process, which would constantly be randomizing entei's location until it happened to randomize onto route 16. i caught a staryu with illuminate as an ability to raise the chance of entei appearing, which does work while staryu is fainted (wouldn't want to go in and out of the grass while entei was on route 16 without encountering it!) and otherwise led with my level 50 magmar that was on my elite four team named Torch for the repel trick.

i bought a whopping 100 max repels for this task but i ended up getting entei within just a few lol. torch was holding the smoke ball just to be able to run away safely without any shenanigans!

and now entei was in the pokedex and able to be tracked that way!

however, there was still ONE more problem...

PROBLEM #4: luxury balls are a pain in the ASS to get in this game! they can't be bought from any shop. the only way to repeatedly get luxury balls in FRLG is to show a pokemon to selphy, a rich girl who lives in resort gorgeous on five island.

i will mostly skim over this because it's boring, but TLDR i had to continuously talk to her, fly back to the pokemon center, get the pokemon she wanted to see out of the PC because the step limit is 250 before she gets sick of waiting which is like nothing (i already had a living dex of every mon obtainable in leafgreen otherwise so this wasn't hard), surf to her, then spam A through dialogue with her butler in which i had a 70% chance of receiving a luxury ball. i did this over 40 times until i had 30 luxury balls, and sold off all the nuggets and other items she gave me. good lord this took a while

and now with ALL of that setup i was FINALLY ready to capture entei in a luxury ball. this took me literally all day and i was really excited. to consistently encounter entei, i saved in cerulean city and tracked it in the pokedex from there, opening it over and over after changing to any of the four routes connected to the city, and moving to an adjacent route from entei's location when it was close in the hopes of walking onto the same route it moved to when i did. i was following a map made by hangarofroam, he has a video tutorial on how to shiny hunt the FRLG roamers and encounter them as quickly as possible, and i highly recommend looking it up if you want to capture these roamers yourself, but tldr this is the map i was using:

and once i encountered entei i was finally able to use the strategy i had prepped so long to do... and it worked without a hitch!! entei can't try to use roar first turn because it wastes a turn trying to flee, which is prevented by ariados outspeeding and using spider web... then if it tries to use roar the next turn, i've already switched into electrode to block it with soundproof. so from there it's just a matter of whittling down entei's HP to the red with swift/sonicboom and paralyzing it with thunder wave, then tossing luxury balls until success!

and i GOT IT after 3 encounter attempts and 73 luxury balls thrown. and FINALLY i have all 171 national dex entries possible in a single copy of leafgreen with no connection to other games, and all the legendaries are in fancy ass luxury balls. i am winning.

this was ridiculous. please be proud of my accomplishments. i've had this file for less than 2 weeks and i already have over 70 hours of gameplay in it after doing all this AAAAA

also barely related but look at Egg my jolteon he had like no purpose in this story but i took a pic of him in front of entei before going on to capture entei because i love him so much pleas

thanks for coming to my fucking ted talk i am SOOO normal about pokemonsdfjkfds (joke)

[nonotnolan]

Jock Cock, Part 3

Many thanks to my photo source for agreeing to appear in this work! Check out Part 1 here. Check out Part 2 here.

"Sir, did you have an appointment?" Inwardly, I flinched. Externally, I needed to act like I belonged here. A little bit of bravado will go a long way, after all. I turned to face the student worker sitting at the desk I had waltzed past.

"Mike is expecting me," I said, gesturing vaguely behind me. That was a bold-faced lie, but I had at least confirmed that his Outlook calendar was open, and Teams showed him online when I left my office. It also listed him as a level two Admissions worker, so I think that meant he had his own office? I don't know how he could have arranged all of those body swaps without some sort of privacy.

Sure enough, I found him in the middle of a row of offices that were all pretty much identical. "Well, look at you. You managed to get an office with an exterior wall and everything. I'm a bit jealous. I'm here to talk about... well, us. I hope this isn't a bad time." I had gotten a rough idea of what he looked like from his company profile picture, but he was even more handsome in person.

"Kevin?" He hopped to his feet and quickly shut the door behind me. "I never wanted you to... how did you even find me? There are over 100 Michaels employed here, let alone the student population."

I smiled at him. It felt good having the upper hand, for once. "True, which is why I needed to approach this from an entirely different angle. It occurred to me that if you never told Adam about our meeting, I could use his test score to scare him into talking."

He glared at me. "Final grades were submitted weeks ago. You had no leverage over him."

"You know that. I know that. But Adam had no idea. I told him that I wouldn't pursue any sort of punishment as long as he gave me a name, and... well, here we are."

Mike let out a long, frustrated sigh. "I suppose you think that you're so damn clever."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Think it? I know it."

"Well then, Mr. Clever, how did you think this would play out? I told you, I'm only looking for hookups. Hookups that happen in bodies that are way more muscular than this one. Was I supposed to change my mind? You do a little bit of detective work, and suddenly I'm going to be yours forever?"

Out of all of the ways this scene had played out in my mind, righteous fury was definitely not one I had considered. "What? No, no, hang on. Mike, please. I'm not expecting you to be mine forever. One, the whole point of dating is just to see if we're even compatible, but more to the point... what's the point in swapping bodies if you can't have sex with multiple others? You have a gift, somehow, and I would have to be the biggest asshole to make you deny that part of yourself!" Mike started to relax his shoulders, and I took that as a sign to keep pressing.

"I'm not one of those guys who insists on monogamy. The open relationship is fine, I just… I want more than hookups. I want to come home after a rough day and know that you'll be there, waiting for me. Or at least your body. Can we… can we at least try?"

Mike just stared at me, with a stern and angry face that was weakened by his watery eyes. "I need you to understand I'm not happy with you right now. You completely ignored my thoughts and feelings because you decided that you knew better. And the only reason that I'm not telling you to get the fuck out is that my heart admits you may have a point. And as much as I want to be angry at how you violated my privacy… I was doing the same thing to your feelings when all I wanted to do was hook up."

He looked so sad that I wanted to reach out and give him a hug, but I had a feeling that if I tried, it would read as me dismissing his emotions as invalid hysterics. And that was the last thing I wanted to. I slipped my hands in my pockets, and stared at a point in the floor. "Well… then where do we go from here?"

He looked up at me, arms crossed defensively. "Let's do it this way. 7:00, the Starbucks on the edge of campus. If I show up, we'll try it your way. If I don't show up, we both agree to stop trying to pursue each other. Relationships, hookups, any of it."

-----------------------

I sat there, fidgeting with the empty coffee cup in my hand as my eyes scanned the slow stream of passerby for any sign of Mike. I'd arrived at 6:45 because of who I am as a person, but at some point I was going to have to admit the possibility that he had chosen not to be here. I glanced down at my phone. 7:12. At least the shop was busy enough that none of the baristas were paying attention to him. The only thing worse than being stood up was having witnesses.

Once the clock hit 7:15, I tossed the cup in the trash and headed out the door. It stung a bit. A lot a bit, actually. 80s movies had sorely misrepresented how easy it was to get into a relationship by being your authentic self. But if he truly wasn't interested, that was his choice to make. Showing up at his apartment with a boombox wasn't going to change anything.

"And just where do you think you're going, Kevin?"

I looked up to see a shirtless man with massive shoulders staring at me from the parking lot. "How do you… Mike, is that you in there?" He just smiled in response. "Mike, what the hell! Have you been standing here the whole time? I thought you stood me up!"

He shrugged. "Well, I considered going in there to join you, but… this felt like a good way to pay you back for your little stunt earlier today. I don't want you thinking that you'll always have the upper hand. And anyway, there's only the one door. It's not like I was going to lose track of you. Now get over here," he said as he pulled me into a bear hug.

I wanted to be angry, but it was hard to stay mad as I felt the warmth of his body against my chest, the smell of sweat and tobacco assaulting my nose from his current body. "Why do I get the feeling that one of our love languages is going to be pressing the other person's buttons?"

He looked up into my eyes and tousled my hair. "You're the one who wanted a relationship. You'll have to date all of me, not just the parts of me that fit your daydream." He was right, of course. Whether that was a promise or a threat, I could not say. But I was excited for the two of us to find out. Together.

[faebriel]

Super Niki au my absolute beloved.. the more information I get the more crazy I get

(hi sorry this sat in the inbox for like two months anon for some reason i was hoping something more substantial would appear out of thin air. it didn't btw.) regardless of that! fuck yeah anon i'm with you on that

i think a superhero niki story would have to have a real focus on the mundane. like the nitty gritty details of "how do you conceal your identity from people in your superhero costume?" "how do you fit patrols into your week? you can't possibly do them every day." all that! again i think this comes back to me being really attached to the 'everyman' side of c!niki it makes me want to imbue that feeling into everything i write with her. in this au i think she does work at a bakery (good for her) but when the shit starts to hit the fan she disengages from her job, stops taking on the extra duties she usually does at work, stops caring, eventually stops showing up. etc. this is probably related to how she ends up crashing with fundy and hbomb after The Puffychu Divorce (superniki edition)

here are a few other miscellaneous thoughts i've been having:

i've been having more of a think about emerald duo in this au, and i think i know how i picture them being. so phil is wilbur's dad, techno is phil's friend, techno and wilbur define their relationship in vastly different ways, etc etc the standard. oh but they're both supervillains. not for any particular reason they kind of liked mucking around causing mayhem first and then came up with an ideology later. anyway phil's retired and techno Would Like to be retired but he's still looped into the job due to Shenanigans (blood god related mb?). wilbur is fully aware of this and goes to him to be like 🥺 help i need ideas when he decides to go supervillain mode

oh! and wilbur's alter ego name is chekhov ^-^

and so the syndicate in this au is......................... a book club. yes for real

okay look i was thinking about what to do with the syndicate and i didn't really want to have them end up as a Bad Ass Villain Posse because i think niki needs to retire or at least be a superperson part time after everything that happens. so instead, she ends up meeting phil and techno and they help her ease into super semi-retirement ^-^ and ofc phil and techno appreciate having another friend who Gets It around. they are literally just like a book club and a mild support group in this au in a very silly way and i like it

i've spoken a bit about fundy and hbomb in this au... yeah niki lives with them after breaking up with puffy. not 100% sure where jack fits in. maybe he's another low ish level vigilante running around and tries to ally with niki? i can't imagine any allegiances she makes in that mental state (without the history she and jack had as l'manbergians in canon) would last very long. maybe she sees a bit of herself in him. they both call each other out for being emotionally immature idiots and then go and do the exact same thing themself. hypocrites

oh and i think i've mentioned niki making her own costume before!! i imagine as a fire based superhero she buys PPE (like from a tradie joint) and modifies it to be 1. functional and 2. fashionable. this does in fact mean that hi-vis yellow + orange are her colours in this au....

and below the cut is a treat: a snippet i wrote of a scene where after a big fight, wilbur finds himself patching up his wounds in the same safety stash as this city's very own friendly neighbourhood superhero (who wants to beat his ass)......

“Why do you hate me?”

The stubborn rasp in his voice surprises even him. As for the woman on the other side of the room, her shoulders draw tight - like a wild animal arching its back, a show of anger. The question, then – should Wilbur interpret such a motion as defensiveness, or as a threat? “What makes you say that?” she asks. Her voice runs high with the question – a quiet sound, like a flute's soft alto, though it rasps slightly through the sound of a voice changer. Idly, Wilbur wonders whether it is worth asking where she got it. Or how she fashioned it, perhaps. God knows he needs one. Chekhov might manage perfectly fine in the midst of faceless reporters and supervillains – the proper kind – who haven't seen the light of city streets in years, but if Wilbur were to cross paths with someone he knew as himself (god forbid, someone like Tommy) his voice would give him away quick as anything.  (His heart aches, briefly, when he thinks of his brother.) Part of him tries to unpick what her voice would sound like without it. It’s difficult not to fixate on these small things – perhaps because the bigger things provide him with so little in comparison. Her voice is quiet, a little difficult to pick the sounds apart around the staticky rumble of the voice changer, but far from timid. There’s a stubborn timbre to it. (Something in it is familiar. But that thought is patently ridiculous, and Wilbur is impatient, and so it is dismissed.)

[scene continues]

"Am I," Wilbur pauses, wets his lips – it almost feels as if the fire is still flickering beneath his skin, energising and scorching all at once. "Am I that horrible? Is there something – do you see something so inherently terrible in me that you just have to strike it down? Is that it?" Her powder-keg silence sparks, ignites, her scowl a torn-open slash even beneath the planes of her mask, embroiled in sudden fury. "Don't flatter yourself - "  "Ah, and there it is!" To her credit, she doesn't stagger back as he lights up – if anything, her affect is unimpressed. "Show us the blaze, firebug! What – what drives you? What lights your fuse?" "Do you even know what you are?" she retorts. Oh, she's caught on the hook, now. "You know what you are?" What is Wilbur expecting? Proud, arrogant perhaps – delusional wouldn't be anything new, or any of the crueler words from that stock. Wouldn't be the first time he'd been called some variety of son of a bitch bastard, either. Who is he, to this spectre of flame? He's asking honestly, though he doubts she believes in his integrity. "You're a liar," she continues, words stubborn and fierce and almost unwieldy. "You – you are so selfish, and so cruel – you take, and you take and you take and you don't think for a second of the people you're taking from. You don't think anything of them. You're a liar," and when she repeats these words, they sound like smoke – "and you know what? I hate liars. I hate them." The words sink into him like stones. How does she know? he asks himself. How does she know? He doesn't ask her that. Knowing his patience, he'd be lucky for an answer, anyway - instead he just suggests, "you speak like you're familiar on the subject, then?" If it's even possible, her scowl drives itself deeper into her face - like tyre tracks driven into mud, an ugly slash of drawn brows and what he can only assume is teeth bared behind that voice changer of hers. She looks at him like he isn't worth a single thing on this earth. "Yeah, well," she spits. "I've had my fair share, with bastards like you."

[hyouta]

Some KH ramblings as I play through the entire series for the first time...

I've only played and finished KH1, Days and DDD despite owning the rest for quite some time now and I don't know what awoke the urge but I finally got my ps4 back from my dad so I can properly experience the series myself rather than through watching cutscenes (and honestly I only really remember maybe 60-70% of cutscenes, which is mostly sea salt fam related). I replayed KH1 final mix, thinking I played KH1 final mix originally but honestly I think I first played the ps2 version (I do have a copy for the ps3) because I remember so vividly grinding for materials for the ultima keyblade, when I couldn't even unlock the recipe thise time around. I don't really plan to try to 100% or platinum everything any time soon.

KH1 is KH1, not much to say, got a bit nauseated by the camera in Hollow Bastion specifically for some reason.

RE:Com on the other hand. Oh boy... One of my earliest tweets about this game was about how I found it insufferable. Actually looking at the tweets I did post I was struggling a lot. In defense of RE:Com that insufferable tweet came after I made the rookie mistake of going to Wonderland FIRST because I thought I was supposed to go in KH1 order. After I grinded in Traverse Town for a bit I was fine...

After playing through the game (thank you youtube card deck guides), including Reverse/Rebirth, I can honestly say that it wasn't all that bad. I think it wins points for being unique with its gameplay.

I still wasn't great at it... had to redo some bosses a few times, literally won against Ursula (who was supposed to be easy, oops) with a 0 card and cures, over and over because I panic spammed my deck away. I beat Marluxia first time though! That's something right! I was so relieved that I actually put my face in my hands lmao

Anyway... I'm currently playing KH2 and I'm enjoying it quite a bit. BBS and KH3 are the games I'm still looking forward to playing the most and I tweeted about how KH2 was like the raimi spider-man movies to me. Talked so highly of at the expense of the other games that I was a little put off, but like those movies, I am experiencing them for myself and they aren't so bad.

Having played Days, but not playing KH2, and then finally playing as Roxas in his last week... just about killed me. Twilight Town in KH2 is so good, I can't wait to see it in KH3.

"Not the hints to the akusai divorce lol" I think this was re: Saïx and Xemnas talking and oof, I did not remember that cutscene at all... it probably wasn't what they were hinting at but it hurt all the same.

I think I paused before the worlds visit round 2 for an Echoes of Wisdom break and I'm back now! About level... 42 ish going to Halloweentown for the second visit. I don't know how far that is but I assume 60%?

Xaldin cooked my ass, Mickey had to save me twice but second time it was because Donald prioritised healing Beast instead of Sora. Also, gotta say, hate anti-form. Level up limit forms they said, it'll help you out with bosses they said. Nah, gotta run around until anti-form runs out so I don't die immediately. Am I playing that form wrong??

I was playing tug of war with myself but I will be replaying Days for DS then watching the movie (and doing the same with Re:coded) after this.

Man, I just... have so much more I wanna talk about it's awful dhgkjdfg I wouldn't want to bother any mutuals about it if it's not something they care for... I have a list of Sea salt fam (and some others) pics I want to draw but don't know if I'll manage to draw them before my interests switch again. I'm currently working on what was an Axel doodle, that might be a bit more but I'm not sure... work drains so much out of me.

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure 02: Tag Tamers - Final Thoughts

This game was great, but my experience was slightly negatively affected by the lack of information on it. The one walkthrough I was able to find really did me dirty lol.

Anyways, I stand by my previous statement that the Wonderswan games deserve more love. I think they're definitely the best of the Adventure/02 era.

Notes:

-Okay, time to vent a little. I used this walkthrough and whoever wrote it was just flat out wrong about a bunch of stuff. They made me believe I had to go WAY harder than I needed to with fusing digimon (a very slow and tedious process if you want a lot of jogress points). They then led me to believe I had to beat the 2nd to last dungeon 10 times to get 10 pieces of a digimental...that ended up being not true at all, so I beat that dungeon 10 times for no reason lol. In the walkthrough they went into the final battle with a bunch of OP digimon with like a zillion jogress points. I went in with a bunch of weenie hut jr. digimon and was fine. Most misleading walkthrough I've ever followed! If I hadn't followed its advice, I probably would have finished this game a week ago. Luckily, I did find some YouTube Let's Plays and some tumblr posts that set me straight.

-Once I figured out how things worked I realized this game is a little too easy. As soon as you get a stun ability, you're basically unstoppable, even withweaker digimon on your team. If you manage to stun all 3 digimon on the enemy team, you automatically win. You don't even need to touch their HP! That's crazy and I've never seen a game do that before...felt like I was cheating.

-I thought it was a little weird how many dungeons in this game used baby or in training level digimon. Like I would expect that from the first dungeon but they were still showing up like mid-way through! Again, not much of a challenge.

-The variety of digimon was good and I liked the inclusion of fusion, but I wish fusion was a little more straightforward/predictable. Without any guide I was just gambling every time. The worst of it is that you have to raise your digimon from baby-level every time you fuse, which really held me back from progressing the game.

-Techniques were really confusing compared to the first game. Whereas in game 1 my digimon would gain new abilities constantly, it seemed like the only way digimon would gain abilities would be to fuse them and start from scratch. I would use the digivice to befriend powerful, mega-level digimon, but their abilities would be so trash that doing that was completely pointless. (I think you need to fuse digimon like 100+ times to get a decent mega which would take ages).

-The ending "puzzle" was just batshit. You have to defeat Millenniumon as Ryo and Ken using the same number of turns. Of course, the game doesn't tell you that at all. It just gives you a door with a number on it and goes "~oooh, what could it meeeean?~" Well, I wouldn't have figured out in a zillion years what it meant if it wasn't for a random post on tumblr. Walkthrough dude didn't figure it out because he thought it was something else that unlocked the door and a let's player I watched just seem to unlock it out of dumb luck (he defeated Millenniumon in 2 turns with Ryo and then Ken). My number was 10 by the way...this was before I was aware of the stun ability's OP-ness

-The game dramatically ends with Ken becoming the Digimon Emperor. I guess if you didn't see the anime that would be kinda a "wtf" downer ending. Wormmon tries to keep it positive by saying "I know he'll be good again someday!" It's definitely sequel bait (although I'm not sure exactly where the next game fits).

-I never really learned what some of the stats meant in this game. Defense is "PP" but I have no idea what that stands for. There's also "Y?" Which I think has something to do with a digimon's age?? I don't know why old games had to be like ";) we'll never tell" instead of just explaining things.

-This was a very relaxing game to play YouTube videos or music over, perfect for weeknights. It was very light on story, so I didn't need to pay much attention.

-I wish they did more with armor evolution. I kept buying/equipping armor but it never seemed to do much. Veemon was the only one I could really get to armor evolve via one of his attacks. Definitely missing something there...

I give this game a 7.5 out of 10. The lost points are for all of the confusion I endured lol.

[goosetrainer]

Mari's Tera Raid Guides #21 - Incineroar

Sorry for being late, hell of a week!

Dondozo is the easy answer, but I had a lot of fun with a Malamar. Too bad it's DLC/transfer only

Dondozo lv.100

Nature: Bold/Impish (/Lax/Relaxed worse but ok)

Ability: Unaware

Tera type: Fighting

Item: Shell Bell

IVs: 31 HP, 31 defense

EVs: 252 HP, 252 defense, 4 special defense

Moves:

-Body Press (TM)

-Curse (egg move / DLC-exclusive TM)

-Body Slam (level up)

Usage:

3 Body Slams at the start, terastallize, then 6 Curses*, then Body Press spam.

Not even gonna TL; DR here. Dondozo is just that good in this raid. Looots and lots of health points and you don't even need to spread the EVs between offense and defense, since with Body Press they're the same thing.

The one thing that may be scary, when your stat modifications and ability are nullified at 90% time, doesn't really put you in any danger, even with all the Bulk Ups. I'd just be careful about not going under uhhh 180 HP? Use a Body Press then, or a healing cheer if you're at less than 90.

* the Cursing can be interrupted by a Body Press if you need to heal. Just maybe use the cheer instead if you're at only 1-2 Curses, as your attack may still not be high enough to heal you back to a safe amount

Pros:

-common pokemon, regular ability

-you can recycle the raid Dondozo from some time ago (IVs, ability and level are exactly what's needed, but gotta change nature, tera type, and EV train)

-EASYH

Cons:

-needs tera shards

-doesn't deal too much damage even when all set up, so it's a little slow. Not enough to risk a defeat, though

----------------------------------------

Malamar lv.100

Nature: Adamant

Ability: Contrary

Tera type: Fighting

Item: Shell Bell

IVs: max HP, attack, defense (speed might be nice to have too)

EVs: 252 attack, 252 defense, 4 HP

Moves:

-Tera Blast (TM)

-Skill Swap (TM)

-Superpower (level up) (PP Up recommended but not mandatory)

-Topsy-Turvy (level up)

NPCs: NOT the ones with Intimidate. If there's only one it's manageable, if more give up and try again

Usage:

Had to include this one because it became my guilty pleasure <3

The start is the most boring, but important, part. There's a lot of scripted actions, but you have to keep an eye out for two things in particular: the NPCs you got assigned (one Intimidate user is annoying but not game-ruining, two is an automatic flee-and-retry. I would also avoid 1 Intimidate-user + Sylveon) (reminder: they're Staraptor, Tauros, Arcanine); and who gets targeted by Taunt (VERY important: if it's you, flee. I tried more than once and it ruins the strategy completely. Never made it out a winner. Not worth it)

The very first thing you're gonna do is Skill Swap. Then forget about it.

After that, two possible scenarios:

-no Intimidate users at all: you die on turn 1, and if by some miracle you don't, use Tera Blast until you do. The goal IS to faint and come back, because that way your ability gets reset, you lose Incineroar's Intimidate, and get Contrary back. Spam Superpower, terastallize as soon as you can, keep spamming Superpower, and only switch to Tera Blast if you run out of Superpower PPs. That's why I suggest PP-Upping/Maxing the move, but even with just the original 5 PP and no crits, you're gonna see Incineroar's health go down FAST

-1 Intimidate user: same strategy more or less, but it's more likely that you will survive more turns. Never use Superpower before going KO! Use Tera Blast instead, just to get some tera charge. When you finally faint and come back, you can check Incineroar's stat modifications (press Y), and if his attack and defense only have positive modifications (green upwards triangles) or mostly positive and one or two negatives, and he still hasn't got the shield active (important! It will not work with the shield!), you can use Topsy-Turvy to reverse them and make the rest of the battle a bit easier. Also, the battle in general will be a little harder and a little slower, both because it took you more time to go KO and because every time the Intimidate user goes KO itself it raises Incineroar's attack by +1. It shouldn't be much of a problem after some boosts from Superpower, but it makes criticals more effective.

TL; DR: Flee if 2 or more NPCs have Intimidate, and/or if you get hit by Taunt. Skill Swap at the start. Tera Blast until you faint. When you come back: if there's one NPC with Intimidate, check Incineroar's stats and use Topsy-Turvy if it will be beneficial (no effect if the shield is already up); if not, Superpower spam, terastallize as soon as you can, keep using Superpower until out of PP or victory, Tera Blast if you still need to deal more damage to win.

Pros:

-if things go well, SO FAST

-regular ability

-no DLC exclusive moves

Cons:

-also needs tera shards

-can't be caught in the base game, so people w/o DLC will need to transfer or trade it

-bit more luck based

[govandalsncaa]

#2 Vandals dominate 2nd Half. Run over Aggies 34-17.

The Idaho Vandals 11-0 (8-0) were bumped up into the #2 spot in the BCS Rankings this week, giving them the inside track to a second straight appearance in the National Championship Game. Early on in their matchup against the Utah State Aggies 5-5 (3-4) it appeared as if the Vandals had been reading their headlines a little bit too much this week. After what was likely a passionate halftime speech by Coach Idaho Coach, Idaho came out in the 2nd Half, put their foot down and walked out of the Kibbie Dome with a 34-17 victory.

Utah State would open the scoring late in the first quarter, on a 24 yard run, that gave the visitors a surprising 7-0 led. Idaho would score the next 17 points of the game on a Dylan Thigpen 3 yard run and a David Ungerer catch to take a 17-7 lead, and it seemed that all was well in Moscow. Utah State, had other ideas. The Aggies ran off the next 10 points of the game and had the score knotted at 17 all at halftime.

Following intermission, the Idaho defense stiffened, and the Vandals offensive running game went to work. On the back of Dylan Thigpen, Idaho totaled 201 yards rushing on 48 carries.

All 17 of the points scored in the second half belonged to the Vandals, and throughout the 3rd and 4th quarters, it appeared that the game was no longer in doubt, after a shaky end to the first half by the home squad.

Idaho quarterback Dustin Coleman completed 19 of 32 attempts for 285 yards and 2 touchdowns. Thigpen carried the ball 36 times for 194 yards and 2 touchdowns, in one of his most impressive outings of the season. David Ungerer had his second straight 100+ yard receiving game, catching 9 passes for 151 yards and a touchdown. On defense, playing in his final home game as a Vandal, Kaden Elliss racked up 10 tackles and his fellow Senior, Aikeem Coleman totaled 4 tackles and a sack.

Coach Idaho Coach spoke with the media after the game.

"We knew Utah State was hungry, and I think after we got up 17-7 we let off the gas pedal a little bit. That is something that cannot happen. Just totally inexcusable by our guys, to check out of the game, mentally. I have a feeling a lot of them checked back in, during my halftime speech.

In the second half I was extremely pleased with our response on both sides of the ball, we dominated and that is what we expect to do. We can't let teams back into the game because we think we have a game won. I'm glad we got the win, especially on Senior Day, but that sequence at the end of the first half will stick with me.

I'm proud of our Senior class, they have been through so much with this program, and to see them on the field after the game, knowing this was their last time in uniform, in the Dome, it was real emotional.

No matter what happens the rest of the way, it is nice to know that this team, and university can impact young men on that level. We always talk about how this game is just a game, and at the University of Idaho we are trying to prepare you for life, the vehicle we happen to do that through, is football.

Thanks to our fans, they were loud, and got us back in it, in the second half. It was great seeing a lot of parents and families of the players in the stands today. They are the heart and soul of this program.

Nice to get the win, but we still have work to do. And everybody in our locker room knows what our last regular season game means."

Idaho now travels to face-off against their in-state rival, the boise state broncos. Despite starting the year in the Top 25, boise state has gone winless so far this season.

Final Score:

Vandals - 34

Aggies - 17

[fredcasden]

Good afternoon everyone,

First an update on my mom, there is a lot to be determine over what is next for her, in terms of making sure she's comfortable and being able to get her to and from places easily. Based on what I know and understand, I feel there one course of action is best, but in the end, it's up to her. That said, we are still raising money to help cover medical costs. If anyone wants to help, visit https://gofund.me/6adf8354

Last night's stream opened up with Fall Guys, and for the first time, I actually won a Solo Show. It came down to Roll Off, which I'm terrible at, but it was a shocking win. I came painfully close to win another Solo Show and a Duos Show as well, but my good fortune in Roll Off being in the final round did not last beyond the fluke win I had. Still it was a great moment.

We also played Fallout 76, knocking out the dailies and working on leveling up to 100. Big thanks to Iceman for being apart of the fun, as we were able to help him through one of the final Brotherhood of Steel story related missions. The plan is to help him with the final chapter of that next week so he can go from Initiate to Knight Erant.

For the raid we dropped in on x9abenonymous9x  who was playing the original God of War over at twitch.tv/x9abenonymous9x!  

Stream Clip Links

SOLO WIN!!!!

Not taking the chance... FIRST!

It's Coming!

My Aunt Hilary came on down to help out with a few things and to make sure some basic matters were taken cared of. Always nice to have her visit.

Did some cleaning out of various things upstairs yesterday as well, and took advantage of the fact there are two rooms on the 2nd floor of my home not in use, which makes them perfect for storage.

I was asked about a continuation of a couple of Dragon Ball short stories that I did via Commission Requests, I told them if the original client wants it to continue then it would/ That said, I finished up one Mass Effect commission request, and got another one from the same person to continue it, giving it eleven episodes already. Already have the justification of the plot written now I need to simply write the action sequences

It appears Hover.gg has gone off line, a shame because I really liked posting my clips there.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Defensive Combo #1, Front-Back Step Combo and Uppercut Combo #2 for 28 minutes.

Why did the teacher love the whiteboard? She just thought it was remarkable!

Song of the Day: Safe And Sound by Capital Cities

On tonight's stream, Final Fantasy XIV is on deck as we'll continue side questing, and will probably do a drew roulette raids as well.

So on that note, we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

[awheckery]

so. uh.

cut for frank discussion of chronic illness and the serious failures of the american healthcare system. tw for fatphobia and gaslighting.

Last July, I got sick. It wasn’t too bad at first: some fatigue, body aches and a slightly elevated temp, until suddenly it was bad and I wound up in the ER. It took three rounds of steroids, a round of antibiotics and a more powerful inhaler to get my feet back under me, but I never fully recovered.

I didn’t talk about it here, except for answering an ask in October and blaming my lack of creative output on depression. It really, really wasn’t depression; it was my health progressively collapsing, one system after another until the avalanche of symptoms that flattened me just after New Year’s.

For the last four months, I’ve spiked a fever over 100°F nearly every single day. My joints hurt. My knuckles are knobbly and swollen, and occasionally my fingers are so painful and weak I’ve had to literally tape my pen to my hand at work. I get rashes at random that itch so badly I claw myself bloody. I overheat and have hot flashes in temperate rooms. The skin on my face and neck and shoulders turns red and hot to the touch, like I’m burning for hours with no immediately discernible provocation.

Some days, I wake up and I don’t have the strength to get out of bed. Some days I can’t wake up at all. I’ve slept through deafening alarms for hours, long enough for my phone battery to run out and die. I can only stand up for ten minutes a day without being hobbled by the effort, and every extra minute beyond that I pay for in hours spent bedbound by exhaustion and pain.

I keep losing words. I’ll arrive at the middle of a sentence and stumble to a halt, because the word I need isn’t there. It’s not true aphasia, and it’s not all the time. I comprehend written and verbal communication perfectly well, but I can’t get my own thoughts out without tripping over them.

I am, to quote a friend attending school to be a nurse practitioner, “a textbook case for SLE,” and I agree, but somehow I can’t pay a doctor to treat me seriously.

In January, I was referred to a rheumatologist after the bloodwork my PCP ordered indicated I had autoimmune activity of some kind.

To date, that’s my only test for anything that’s come out definitively positive for any kind of disease state at all. Ever. I tested negative for celiac disease on a technicality nine years ago, despite how specifically and intensely sick gluten makes me, so I was dismayed but not too surprised when follow-up bloodwork for lupus came back just barely inside the range of “normal.” Despite that, I wasn’t prepared to be jerked around as much as I have been.

The first rheumatologist I saw, back at the end of January, had barely been in the exam room for thirty seconds when I could see he’d already made up his mind about me. He was dismissive and perfunctory and condescending when he told me that “plenty of perfectly healthy people have positive ANA results,” and he referred me back to my PCP for an exercise program and antidepressants to treat my “fibromyalgia.”

Putting aside that I’m not a “perfectly healthy person,” I’m a Fat Lady living in America, and I’ve experienced medical fatphobia for decades at this point. You learn the key words and phrases pretty quickly, and “exercise program” has never not been a euphemism for “weight loss.” (Which is heavily ironic in this particular situation, because before I was Fat, I walked 2-3 miles a day for funsies and spent 15-20 hours in the gym every week. I only stopped because I somehow shredded both my ACLs in one summer. I’d love to get back to that if a rheumatologist could help me figure out how to be active and uninjured at the same time.)

I was frustrated after that first appointment, enough to request a referral to one of the best teaching hospitals in the country. Why not go to the best, right? There was a five month wait for an appointment, but I am stubborn, and I made use of the time by documenting every bullshit symptom my body threw at me. I have a daily symptom journal, full of subjective entries like my pain and fatigue levels, as well as objective entries like daily temperature changes and photos of my rashes and my burning face and my goddamn mouth ulcers.

I thought I had enough logged to be impossible to ignore, and then I saw the second rheumatologist three weeks ago, and the first sentence out of her mouth was the beginning of an interrogation on my blood pressure, and whether I was taking medication or if I was on a fucking exercise program for it. I tried to get the appointment back on track by sharing my symptom diary, and she turned back to my just-under-the-wire test results, and told me, “many healthy people have positive ANA results, it doesn’t mean anything without other positive test results for specific conditions.”

I said, “Healthy people don’t run a fever for months.”

And then she told me that a "fever is not associated with any of the conditions a rheumatologist treats." I was so startled by the confidence and authority with which she stated the lie that I was unable to speak to rouse a defense or contribute anything else for the rest of the appointment. After an insultingly brief examination, in which I never took my face mask off and she declined to look at any of my photos, she said that she “didn’t see anything that could be rheumatologically wrong with me.”

I asked her what she thought could be wrong with me, and she grudgingly admitted it’s possible, though rare to have an autoimmune disease and test negative for everything, so she would order more tests and refer me to appropriate specialists for my various symptoms. She ordered a referral to an infectious disease specialist for my fevers, and a referral to a dermatologist for my “rosacea” (that she’s assuming I have, because I would like to again note she did not see it, at no point did she actually look at my face or a photo of it), and a referral to an ENT for a salivary gland biopsy for my dry mouth, and a referral to a neurologist for my “stroke-like” memory and speech problems.

It was, all told, an unbearably shitty appointment. I cried in my car for an hour in the hospital parking garage so I wouldn’t do anything impulsive like lying down in traffic, and then I went home, cried some more, and went to bed for three days.

On the fourth day, I woke up enraged. It’s one thing to be blown off by a doctor when you’re just reporting symptoms without proof, it’s a wholly different thing for a doctor to ignore your proof and lie about diagnostic criteria to your face.

It’s hard enough not to think you’re crazy when your test results come back negative over and over; it’s that much harder after being told that your major concrete measurable symptom is diagnostically irrelevant, when it really, really isn’t.

(for the record, just going off the symptoms I can concretely prove I’ve experienced in the last week alone, I land a 16 on this chart, which is the most up-to-date, widely agreed-upon diagnostic criteria)

I have decided, for the moment, to play ball. I don’t have the energy to jump through all the hoops this rheumatologist wants, but I'm angry enough to drag myself through them. Tomorrow I’m supposed to see the infectious diseases specialist. On Wednesday I see the dermatologist. In two weeks I see the ENT, and I’ve got a neurology appointment tentatively scheduled for December.

I’m going to be blisteringly forthright with all of these doctors about why I’m there, and that I’m looking to exclude diagnoses other than the lupus I pretty obviously have. (Except with the ENT. Apparently they treat allergies, and I’d like to be able to go outside long enough to walk a dog, someday.)

I’m supposed to see this rheumatologist again at the end of November. Depending on how this week’s appointments go, I’m aiming to either move up my appointment with her when one becomes available, or just send a firm yet diplomatic email asking why the diagnostic criteria apply to everyone but me.

If anybody else has gotten through this fucking nightmare successfully, I’m open to suggestions, it’s not like it can get worse at this point.

[the-stray-liger]

Hey Nate, would you talk a bit about your tattoo(s)?

Oohhh sure that'd be fun!

Ok so the first one I can't remember exactly when I got but it was around the time my grandmother passed away so it has to be almost 10 years old now

As you can see it's a simple triskel. When I was in highschool we did a 3 week exhange to France and stayed 2 weeks in Rennes, which is in Brittany, in the north, and I became obsessed with celtic stuff like to an embarrassing level. Like you know how teenagers have japan obsessions? that was me but with celtic stuff. So ofc as soon as I could get a tattoo (this was like what? 3-4 years after getting out of school) I decided I was gonna get a triskel tattoo. I get asked a lot if it's an Avatar tattoo. At this point I just say yes bc I'm really tired. This was done in under 20 minutes and didn't hurt at all!!

Anyway my dad was furious when he found out

Now fast forward to 2021 when I have been saving for a tattoo for almost 10 years. I was jobless for a long time so I had a lot of time to day dream abt getting a tattoo but no money to make it happen. I also am extremely dumb and lazy so I put off looking for an artist for a long time (but in my defense like. what could I do I didnt have money). Anyway I had been tossing around a lot of tattoo ideas but they're all kind of nerdy and I wanted my newest tattoo to be a bit more lowkey and aesthetic and lately I have found again my obsession with Tekkaman Blade so I got the tek setter!

Took around 2 hours or so, including doing the stencil and stuff. This one hurt a bit more, specially towards the end when the artist needed to touch up a few details with a different needle, that made me whimper a little bit, but it was 100% worth it!

(it was a bit embarrassing to explain it to the artist but she was understanding). I 'm very happy of how it came out! It looks pretty elegant and aesthetic considering it's from an anime and very few people would actually recognize it at first glance so I can pretend to be a normal person! It's also a bit bigger than first intended, but the artist had printed a few different sized stencils and the big one was just too cool to pass. My only regret is that I can't look at it without taking pictures because it's on my fucking back but I love it to pieces!!! Fun fact my dad does not know that I got a second tattoo.

Anyway if there's anything else you'd like to know about my tattoos I'm always willing to be annoying!!!

[toobadchadlytime]

I can hide my curiosity no more, please tell me about 100% Orange Juice

=O

I just want you to know that merely by asking, you've like, made my week

100% Orange Juice is a digital board game that I very much compare to Mario Party due to both being cute, colorful, and chaotic to similar degrees. Having grown up with that series, I naturally fell in love with this a few years ago. =P And pretty much anyone can play it online as long as they have Steam, a Windows computer, and an Internet connection! There’s a whole bunch of boards, with this kind of style:

It's not quite the same as Mario Party, as there aren't really minigames, but whenever you pass by another player on the board, you can choose to stop on their space and battle with them. Each player attacks once, followed by defending/evading once (the latter two are always a choice you can make). There's also a deck of cards in the center that every player draws from that can be used like items, some of which are designed to make battles absolutely ridiculous in the best way.

Each character gets a few stars at the start of every turn, but can do a few things to get some more such as land on bonus panels, random encounter panels, or KO other players to steal half their stars. Each character gets a special Home Panel space that they can stop at to achieve Norma, or level up, whenever they reach a set goal of stars held or battles won (that you can choose from each time you complete one). The overall winner is the first player to level up 5 times.

Battles are really interesting because the "stealing half the victim's stars" aspect is really important. You could get knocked down many times in one game to the point where you're super behind, but then make up for all of that in an instant with One Really Good Victory in which your foe had a ton of stars! And that one move can make you go from dead last to virtually unstoppable at the right moment.

I also like them a lot because every character has a unique playstyle! And the roster has like, more than 70 characters at this point (and counting - a new pair releases every few months or so), all of which work differently!

For example you have QP who's your jack-of-all-stats character, average HP and average rolls for every battle stat:

Every character gets a unique Hyper ability as well! QP for instance, while being otherwise average, has one of the most effective Hypers in the game, in which she gets a big attack boost in battle while protecting herself from any real penalty if she is KO'd in the battle in which the card is played.

An example of a more risk/reward character would be Suguri, who is extremely good at dodging... unless she rolls low and gets KO'd in one hit. It's sort of a meme to say that Suguri lives either by being Very Fast or Very Dead. =P But she can be one of the most powerful characters if the game feels like being nice to you!

But she also gets a Hyper in which she rolls double dice for all actions on a given turn. She could roll snake eyes, or attack up to 13. And because that double dice also applies to movement, she could easily play the card from right behind another player and move onto their space.

There are a lot of other playstyles as well! You have your regular glass cannons, your tanks...

There’s another character who can be either a glass cannon or a tank whose Hyper toggles between them, another character who is one or the other just based on whether the turn number is even or odd...

But also more unique ones, like one of my (multiple) go-to favorites, Miusaki! (Though she is part of a DLC character pair that's a few bucks, which is a thing that happens)

That passive ability of hers is really powerful, because some special attack could have the strength of a truck, and merely by picking Defend in response, she still takes a mere 2 damage from it. But because her Defense stat is so low, she's likely to roll bad from it and almost definitely take her max of 2 damage, so at any moment she's either temporarily impossible to KO, or one light feathery tap away from death.

One reason I love her in particular is that she practically recontextualizes one of the most ordinary types of card that you can bring to the central deck, Saki's Cookie.

If she plays that card while at 2 HP, healing up to 3 instantly makes her go from "almost guaranteed to die in the next battle" to "guaranteed to survive the next battle”. And this is a card that you pretty much have unlocked at the start.

There are definitely more characters I could go into, but in general there's a lot of room for experimentation with strategy, seeing what neutral-use cards synergize with which character types, and just seeing how luck works out for you. Plus there's plenty to do solo and colorful outfits to unlock and stuff.

One of my favorite LP groups, TheRunawayGuys, recently did a big LP of the game. If you want a visual overview of how a game typically goes (I feel there’s only so much to explain without seeing a round in action), I'd recommend watching the first 1 or 2 boards that they do, if you want! Jon does a great job explaining how the game works. ^^

[aclosetfan]

This is a really incomplete idea BUT it’s about Brick’s hat(s). And hopefully someone else finds this and enjoys it! More under the cut, it’s a long post :)

I think it’d be funny if boomer and butch get him a shitty novelty hat for birthday/holidays/etc because 1) they don’t know what to get him 2) they’re like 12 with four buck to their names. so they just go from charity shop to charity shop looking for ideas. Brick probably doesn’t ask for much (I don’t think any of them do. poor kid syndrome amiright? I personally never think they’d be well off in childhood).

So anyway butch and boomer are bumming through the charity shops and boomers like:

“Holy shit, Butch!”

“Wut?” Butch looked over pulling the charred and ruined Halloween mask that someone had donated for god knows what reason off his head.

“Dude it’s perfect!” Boomer came running from three aisle over, waving a garment around in the air.

“It’s a hat.” Butch pointed out bluntly, unimpressed, and pointed to the mask atop his head, “I think we should get this.”

“But it’s red!”

“He’s got one of those. Wears it frequently.”

“But not like this!” Boomer boosted, “See.”

Boomer turned the hat around, so Butch could see the bill of it. It was one of those novelty snapbacks, inscribed on the front was the playboy bunny logo.

“Dude.” Butch smiled, giggling with Boomer, albeit a little nervously.

He was familiar with the playboy bunnies work, it wasn’t like he was a virgin or anything (except he secretly was), but he had never actually seen a genuine centerfold spread like some of the older boys at the detention hall had talked about. When he thought of playboy, he thought of the Victoria Secret models he saw plastered to the side of the store at the mall. They made him feel weird and his hands would get all sweaty, so he tried his best not to look too closely.

“Dude we should get him this!” Boomer continued to smile, “It’d be, like, so funny.”

“Yeah.” Butch nodded, as his smile grew. He didn’t 100% get why it was so funny, but the idea of having something with the playboy bunny logo on it seemed cool to him. It made him feel kind of like one of the older boys.

Him and Boomer snickered all the way to the cash register, and when it was their turn to pay, Boomer nudged him ahead, ducking behind him with a giggle. He glared at his brother over his shoulder, but allowed Boomer to twist a nervous hand into the fabric of his oversized sweater (the one his brothers had bought him last year. They bought it 3 sizes too big cause he kept growing out of everything too fast. It was 1 size too big now). Boomer liked latching onto their sleeves when he got nervous.

He didn’t get what the big baby was so nervous about though. They were just buying a stupid hat. The lady cashier watched them with thinly veiled boredom and Butch threw the hat down on the counter.

Raising a penciled on eyebrow, the older women examined the hat, “Playboy, huh? You even know what Playboy is kid?”

The question made the back of his neck burn. He had never heard a lady say playboy before, it was weird. From behind him, Boomer pressed his face into the back of his sweater to muffle another giggle.

“Uh, duh.” He sniffed, “We know, lady.”

“Have you actually seen a playboy before?” The cashier snorted, ringing them up, “Not just the logo?”

“Yes!” Butch huffed, defending himself, “The Internet!”

(It was a semi-lie—they had tried looking it up on the internet, but Fuzzy didn’t have a computer at his cabin, HIM wouldn’t let them use any of his flashy spy monitors, Mojo was lame, and the library had parent controls)

“Surreee.” The lady drawled out and rang them up, “Dollar fifty.”

He didn’t make eye contact with her as he handed over a crumpled dollar bill and took two quarters from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny. When she gave them back the hat, they ran out of the store like they had committed a bank robbery.

When Brick opened the present two days later, he threw the plastic bag it had come in to the side and frowned.

“A new hat?”

“Yeah,” Boomer nodded, putting down the cheap Polaroid camera Butch and Brick had shoplifted from a secondhand shop downtown (still too expensive to actually buy), and reached for the hat, turning it around in Brick’s hand, “but look!”

Brick’s smile grew, as the logo registered in his head. “Oh, shit,” their brother laughed, “is this playboy?”

“Betcha you won’t wear it.” He goaded his brother on as he tossed the new (used—looked like it was taken from Pokay High’s sports department) rugby ball from hand to hand.

“Betcha I will.” Brick shot back, carefully removing the ratty cap he had had since forever and replacing it with the new one.

“Sorta big.” Their brother murmured, adjusting the strap.

“Your fat head will grow into it!” Butch joked and Brick punched his arm.

“Shut up, dipshit.”

“Do you like it?” Boomer beamed, ignoring the bickering.

Brick looked at their brother with a smile, precious anger dissipating, “Yeah, dude, it’s funny.”

———————————————————

Then it becomes a thing//like Brick really loves his hat collection:

“Truckin’ ain’t easy.” Brick read out loud with a snort, and replaced the hat he was wearing with the new one.

He thought for a moment then shook his head no, “nah. Not today.”

He had so many hats to chose from, it was almost overwhelming. They were all basically offensive on every level and he tried to wear them all as often as possible. The highlight reel included:

Kitty gang

Swag.

Yolo.

Lmao.

Weed jokes. Lotta weed jokes.

Thrasher.

Fish love me. Woman fear me.

Met god. She’s hot.

Blow me for luck.

Beer drinkers get more head.

The carpets do match the drapes

FuCk

Birthday Bitch

Deadass fuck thots on god

Hello I am Mr. Cunt

Master Baiter

Drive fast. Eat ass.

At 17, he had a vibrant hat collection. Anytime his brother’s saw a red hat with a shitty gag, they snagged it for him. Recent political events had bestowed upon his brothers a plethora of new material:

Make racists afraid again.

My other hat’s tin foil

Made you look

The list went on. His fuck cops wasn’t popular with local authorities. And how could he forget his most favorite powderpuff girl cap. That pissed them off to no end.

“Brick!” Butch yelled down the corridor. They were at Mojo’s this week, “Hurry up!”

“Uuhhhhh,” he mumbled to himself, as he stared at his wall, ignoring his brother. He hung them all up to make it easier to chose. His collection covered the wall.

His hand floated left to the one that said FuCk, but the one that said bad hair day caught his eye and his hand twitched to the right, “uuuuuhh, hmmmm.”

He floated toward the ceiling to look at the top of the wall, “welllllll...”

They’d be fighting with the girls today and because he liked making Blossom mad, he figured he needed to chose something more crude.

“Oh my god!” Butch cried outside his bedroom door, “Just fucking pick one!”

“Mmmmm.”

“Brick!” Butch pounded on his door, “I swear to god, I’ll burn them all if you just don’t pick one!”

“HMMmmmmmm!”

“Brick, it’s been thirty minutes!” Boomer whined, joining Butch, “The girls are waiting, we can’t cancel on them again! We’re bad guys, but we aren’t bad guys.”

“Ahhhhh—“ he sucked on his teeth in thought, “five more minutes!”

His brothers groaned in unison from the other side of the door.

“This is your fault, Boomer.” Butch whined.

“How?!” Boomer protested.

“Cause I wanted to get him that mask.”

————————————————————

His hat—his first hat—is lovingly preserved. He can’t risk losing it or damaging it any further. Before they started buying him new hats, most of the boys misadventures (the chaos they did NOT plan) were dedicated to saving Brick’s hat from the clutches of (insert one-shot villain here). It’s his security blanket. He breaks it out on the lazy days in.

He does though often lose his novelty hats. A violent gust of wind will rip one from his hat or a fight will cause it to disintegrate. But because Brick considers being the hat guy a personality trait, I think he’d have a spare one on hand at all times:

“My hat!” He cried, as the tornado-like monster blew through Townsville, ripping his hat from his head, and then disappeared into thin air, “the fucker took my hat!”

“Brick!” Blossom cried over the wind, “calm down! It’s a hat!”

“Yeah my hat!” He argued back. He wasn’t fond of the idea that him and his brothers and the girls now had to cooperate with each other, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “Butch! Boomer! I want my hat!” He hissed and his brothers nodded, understanding immediately what he meant.

“Right!” Butch dropped Buttercup, forgetting whatever fight the two had found themselves in.

“Got it!” Boomer jumped up from where he had been sitting on Bubbles, squashing her to the ground.

“What was that thing!” Brick barked at Blossom and she wiped the blood from her nose.

“I only know as much as you do, considering it literally just happened. Maybe it has to do with air—“

She cut off and looked at him, as he adjusted his emergency back up hat onto his head.

“What!” He hissed when he realized all three of the girls were giving him odd looks.

“Dude,” Buttercup asked from the ground, “do...do you just carry extra hats around?”

“Of course I do!” He spat, disgusted that they’d think so low of him not to, “Extra hat,” he pointed to his head, “emergency beanie,” he pulled one out of his pocket, “and extra hair ties,” him and his brother lifted up theirs wrists. “We live by the aesthetic, we die by the aesthetic, anymore questions?”

“Yeah!” Boomer huffed in his defense, “what’s it fucking matter to you anyway!”

“Don’t you three have bigger issues to worry about then our business?” Butch hissed, kicking at Buttercup.

Buttercup rolled away from the kick, dodging it with a laugh.

“What’s so funny!” Butch demanded and Buttercup shook her head, ignoring Butch and pointing up at her sister.

“Holy crap! He really is your counterpart, huh? You guys are perfect for each other!” She laughed wheezing. 

“Hey!!” Him and Blossom bristled together, “Shut up!”

————————————————————

When he learns that over excessive hat use can lead to hair breakage and premature balding his heart breaks, so he starts buckling them to his belt loops instead when he remembers to give his hair a break.

[kenmasgameboy]

【ｒｅａｃｈｉｎｇ】

an oikawa x seijoh president!reader

oikawa toru has so many girls falling at his feet, but it wasn’t always like this. when y/n met him there was no one yet to inflate his ego, when he was pure to himself, the person he is when it isn’t performative. she fell in love. after forcing a rejection from him, where he says he never saw her as a girl, she’s determined to become the absolute perfect girl for every one except him.

profiles: [ student council ] [ on the block ]

masterlist

listen to the mixtape while you read

previous  ➺ now ➺  memory unlocked: age 15

age 18:

𝕚𝕚. libero hours who up

Meet me at 5:55 by the sports equipment shed,

i have something to ask you

You twirled that note in your hand before shoving it in your pocket. You didn’t think too much of it, it wasn’t your first time getting something cryptic like this but you could handle it. You wondered why the time was so exact, but decided it was a concern for after school. Ito must be in some sports club, you knew nothing about this kid so maybe that was it.

Once your class was released for lunch, you had no time to waste. You waved at a few of your classmates who you promised you’d eat lunch with them another time. You speed walked your way to the faculty office, trying to avoid any questions and interruptions since you only had a few minutes to handle your future volleyball club actions and probably ask your faculty advisor a question or two and maybe eat something.

You opened up the doors to see your Coach Kabakura standing in front of you with Coach Nobutero of the boys team. Upon your entrance they both turned to look at you.

“Hi coach, you wanted to see me?” You asked, becoming extremely awkward at their glances. You still straightened your back, knowing you’d have to fight whatever they threw your way.

“L/N, glad you could make it. Just wanted to let you know, I’m keeping you on the team.” Kabakura explained plainly, almost nonchalantly as if there was no discussion to be had.

“What? Sir I– I love the girls on the team, I love volleyball but I told you I can’t make volleyball a priority anymore as student council president I have a lot of—” you started to argue but soon were stopped with a hand up.

“This team is ready to take nationals, but only with a superstar libero like you to complete our defense, L/N. I already talked to the principal and he agrees. As for your schedule we can work around it. You’ll have to do as much student council work during lunch, come to as many practices as you can and practice games.” He told you, “I’ll understand if you can’t make all of them but try to at least come to 3 a week. The boys team practices on Saturday mornings and Fridays, I want you to go to 2 of their practices a week. If you can receive their hitters, you can receive anything. We can change it as we go but this is how I want you starting your conditioning.”

“But Fridays are our rest days?” You questioned. If you go there you’ll see him, “Besides, Kando is more than prepared to take my spot in the starting lineup anyways.”

“Not yet, she still has a lot of growth I need to see. And you’re right, Fridays are our rest days, but they aren’t yours. Take off Sunday to maintain your studies. The principal will have more work for you on Monday. So I don’t expect you to be there at the beginning of the week.” Kabakura overloaded you with this information, you didn’t really know what you expected. He had always been this way, he’s a very strong-headed man. But you were just as strong willed, you had just as much control over your own life.

“Not yet, she still has a lot of growth I need to see. And you’re right, Fridays are our rest days, but they aren’t yours. Take off Sunday to maintain your studies. The principal will have more work for you on Monday. So I don’t expect you to be there at the beginning of the week.” Kabakura overloaded you with this information, you didn’t really know what you expected. He had always been this way, he’s a very strong-headed man. But you were just as strong willed, you had just as much control over your own life.

“I guess I just don’t see the point of practicing with the boys team, the girls team is a perfectly reasonable training level for me—” you started to argue but you were again cut off by the door sliding open. You turned and shockingly made eye contact with a pair of eyes you had been avoiding all day. His eyes were wide in surprise for just a second, he was always the worst at hiding his emotions from you.

“Ah, there he is!” Nobutero proudly exclaimed, walking toward his new superstar captain. He claps Toru on the back and practically pushes the pretty boy into the faculty room to join you and your own coach. You visibly release a deep sigh of disappointment, feeling your eyes roll as you look over your other shoulder in annoyance. Your coach was too busy preparing to shake Toru’s hand the only person to see your moment was the person who caused it.

Toru tried his best to maintain his composure as the coaches talked over the unspoken thick tension between the two of you. Your dead eyes meeting his as he tried to fill his with passion. He wanted to see the trust return to them so bad, he wanted to reignite what he used to see in those beautiful eyes of yours.

“Here is the reason you will be practicing with the boys a few days a week now.” Kabakura patted you both on the shoulder, “Surely you guys know each other, right?”

“Right.” 

“Not really.” You talked over Oikawa, crossing your arms.

“Well, we have the best server in Miyagi at our school. And a large part of our loss last year in the qualifiers was due to our serve receives.” Kabakura continued, swallowing the harm he just did to your ego. Last year was a particularly tough loss against Shiratorizawa, you blamed yourself for all of it. You hated asking for help, even more so when that help was coming from Oikawa. 

“Isn’t that right? I’m so proud of this kid, even Watari has a crazy amount of struggle receiving Oikawa’s serve.” Nobutero smiled, seemingly ignoring your state of mind.

“Oikawa, how often do you practice serving?” Kabakura asked, covering his face with his mouth.

“I practice 100 serves a day, sir.” Oikawa relaxed his body. Trying his hardest not to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Think you can receive all of those? Just two days a week?” Kabakura switched his attention back to you.

You balled your fist as he continued, you felt like nobody was listening to you. You just wanted to leave volleyball behind you, leave this all behind you, leave him behind you but nobody would let you. Oikawa was about to cover for you, being the only one to seem to pay attention to your obvious detest of the situation.

“Coach, please.” You exhaled through your nose, before smiling through gritted teeth, “Of course, I could.”

“Alright, that’s the spirit!” 

“But I won’t.” You cut him off before it could get any further, you were going to be heard. “At least, not now. You haven’t been listening to me at all. Thank you for speaking to the principal, and figuring out a training regimen that could work, but I never said I would return to volleyball. And hearing that I’m working with him doesn’t make it any better than it was before. I don’t care, working with my own team is a better bribe since I actually love them. Please, just allow me a few days to think about it. I need to figure out for myself if I will have the time in my schedule. Thats a decision I make, not something you tell me. Now if you’ll excuse me. I have a lot to think about.”

You turned on your heel, and everyone watched you. What a presence you had, how you managed to wrangle it into this room was incredible. You weren’t like that shy little girl Toru met when you were both six, you had commanded attention the second you were pushed over the edge. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind once pushed out of your nice exterior. You were not the kid he volunteered to be class representative in their first class of middle school, because he knew she wanted to do it even if she never said anything. No, she didn’t need him anymore.

“L/N! Wait–” Your coach ran after you. Waving your jersey behind him, “Just check out their practice once.” 

“Oikawa,” You turned your attention to the pretty boy who was watching this scene unfold, for once in his life keeping his mouth shut, “I have to meet with you at your practice anyways, have your budget paperwork for your team ready. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow, Sensei. But I can’t promise you anything now.”

“That’s all I ask today, thank you L/N.” Kabakura sighed, he forgot how difficult you were. Oikawa smiled once you left, out of pure admiration. 

“She’s a fiery one isn’t she? I expected her to be excited to work with Oikawa.” Nobutero clapped his star players back, “Most girls would be–

“Not L/N. She’s never really cared about stuff like that. I’ve had to kick out so many guys from our practices it’s disgusting. The girls have some fun with it but I know she hates it. I don’t know what happened to her but she hates boys.” Your coach chuckled at some memory he had of you.

That’d probably be because of me.. Oikawa thought this, but he kept it to himself.

                               ━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The bell that excused your class from the last long lecture of the day seemed to be louder in your ears than everyone else. You had too much to do today. This was the longest day of your life it seemed.

After exchanging smiles with a few friends, you ducked out of the classroom again. Rushing to be the first to open the student council room. You got in, dropped off your things and took out the budgeting paperwork. You made 5 copies, one for each of your other student council officers. Leaving them in neat piles by their name tags.

They all strolled in at their own time.

“President, what are you doing here already? The bell rang like 5 minutes ago.” Sora was shocked to see you standing in there, he already had his keys out to open the door but realized you already unlocked it, “That excited to see me?”

“You wish.” You rolled your eyes.

“I really do.” He admits fully, dragging his fingertips across the table to try and meet them up to you. Once he’s only a few inches away from you, he reaches his hand up to take the stack of paper away from you. His fingers overlapping on your hands.

“You need to stop this. Sora, I like having you as my VP and I’ve trusted you, but it’s to the point where my friends are texting me asking what’s going on between us.” You begged, staring at his collarbones just peeking out of his uniform instead of his eyes.

“What is going on between us?” Sora asked, your eyes widened in surprise at the question.

“I–That’s not what I meant. I meant they saw you pulling me into the opening ceremony and assumed we were a thing.”

“Are we not a thing?” Sora grazed his hands up your forearms, daring to try and relax your shoulders, “I thought I’ve been pretty clear about how I feel about you.”

“You’re my VP.” You croaked out a response, you’d never talk about this kind of thing again. It scared you.

“You’re cute when you try to avoid the topic.” Sora cracked a bright smile, you couldn’t help but feel goosebumps rise on you arms from where he touched you. He removed his hands and took the stack of forms from you, finishing off the job you were doing, “We don’t have to do this now. I’ll wait.”

The others came in as soon as that happened. You wondered if he must’ve heard their footsteps.

“I swear, y/n you’re crazy! How’d you already make all these copies?” Naeko dropped her jaw from over Sora’s shoulder. She was shocked at the layout you already spread. She knew. you were awesome, but come on.

“I swear she’s a monster. She’s a monster, a seductress, an sentient being. L/N doesn’t exist–” 

“As much as I love conspiracy theories, I’m just really fast.” You chuckled at Riku’s ramblings, they always had their own way of complimenting you. You quickly changed the subject to tell them the game plan. Everyone had different clubs to visit to split up the work. You yourself had 9 to visit today. 

It took maybe an hour and a half to visit all except one. You groaned at the last one you had on your list. Naeko offered to switch this one with you but you gratefully refused. You needed to do this, for coach and your own sanity. You can act normal around him. You can be the same old cool president as normal.

You went to the upper level of the boys volleyball gym. At least 15 girls were already up here. You didn’t want to disturb their drills, but you didn’t realize you’d have so much company. But of course you would, all these girls were here to see Oikawa. You had a familiar pang in your chest. This wasn’t your first time finding yourself next to these girls, feeling lost in the masses. 

No, this is the first time I’m different from them. You told this to yourself and picked your head up. Even as you exchanged pleasantries with those girls, and knew in your heart they were kind, you couldn’t help but feel that green devil still kicking in the cage of your heart. You leaned against the fences a few feet away from the other girls. Hairs fell over your face and you forced yourself to clear them, your face would never change as you watched your friends.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa were the first to notice your presence, sending waves up your direction. Iwaizumi didn’t notice you yet, but he knocked the back his friends heads for slacking off. Once they explained they all jogged in your direction. 

“Y/N! What the hell are you doing here?” Iwaizumi asked you.

“Good to see you too, Iwa.” You laughed off his greeting, “My coach might have me come practice with you guys a few times a week. Something about practicing my serve receives with harder opponents. Plus I need his signature.” You waved your clipboard and stack of forms as a note to what you were doing.

“Serve receives?” Iwaizumi knew exactly what you were talking about, but decided to help, “I could help you with that, you could’ve just asked.”

“Not from you, unfortunately.” You said, your eyes betraying you as they slacked off in a half hooded solemn manner. “You know.”

He did, but decided not to make you uncomfortable.

“He’s outside right now. If you need to talk to him.” Matsukawa announced, suddenly all his fangirls followed suit out the doors and to run outside to talk to him.

“That’ll get him back inside.” Maki gave his partner a high five. 

“He hasn’t changed.” You said it under your breath but Iwaizumi heard you. Sure enough, Oikawa snuck back into the gym. Dragging his right leg behind him in a moment of pain.

“Alright, which one of you was it.” Oikawa gritted his teeth in a smile while looking directly at Mattsu and Makki.

“Iwaizumi.” They both said at the same time.

“You alright?” Iwaizumi turns away from you to attend to his best friend. But Oikawa’s eyes drifted up to the last person on the second level. 

“Heads up!” you heard an underclassman yell as a ball came flying towards the upper level, it wasn’t coming for your face. But you extended your right arm to the side, angling your wrist in just the perfect fashion for the ball to be angled back downwards. 

The slap it made when the volleyball ricocheted off of your wrist satisfied a hunger you didn’t know you had in a long time. It was like getting a difficult answer on a test correct. You smugly smiled, teeth proving to be able to give anyone the perfect amount of serotonin just by looking at them as they were revealed from behind your tight lipped expression.

“Thanks!” The underclassmen hollered, two or three having apparent goofy smiles from their thoughts.

“Are you listening to me?” Iwaizumi snapped Oikawa back from staring intently at you. He looked back over his shoulder, “Are you talking to her or what?”

“Yeah. At 5:55.”

      【ｆｕｎ　ｆａｃｔｓ】

➺ Oikawa slipped that note in your desk after he saw you holding hands with Sora

➺ Maki and Mattsu have been coming up with different ways for oikawa to be bothered by his fangirls. Today was the most vanilla of them all. Most of the time its them telling the girls incorrect facts about Oikawa’s likes and dislikes.

➺ Sora admitted his feelings for you at the end of last year after you were elected in your positions. You had known each other from being co-representatives the year before in class. You denied him on the basis of “working together” instead of your normal “I don’t like you, i’m sorry.” He took this as you still have feelings for him to, which is why he doesn’t give up.

➺ Naeko is normally the outsider from the fangirls at practice. He though Maki and Mattsun were waving at his girlfriend, he finds himself being more and more jealous recently.

➺ that was the first time oikawa had seen y/n receive something up close since middle school.

➺ i say up close, because just like he does for his own team, he always gets a copy of the girls vbc matches just so he can cheer you on. He never stopped wanting to be your fan.

➺ one time naeko caught him watching your game in his room and she still makes fun of him for being a “simp” even though she thought it was really sweet.

taglist:

@chibishae34 @bby-bokuto @shittykawaa @1-800-schmacked @artsamber @berriesii @bbyazu @roseestuosity @gaytoasterstrudels @mirdy47707 @trippy-kitty @iwanttogotopluto @hvneymun @a-listaire @princessmidas @glyxiebear @akaashiwife @anejuuuuoy @kiyoojima @deimmortales99 @unstableye @sugawarabby @haikyuufairy @ashaite @bettys-other-shoe @defchamseoul @honeymoneyy​ @animatedrapture​ @alexthe80swhore​ @nellieleverlin​ @forhyunryu​ @thosenerdy3amthings​ @mariachiii​ @dishonestkilla​ @notdahyun​ @angyboibakugo​ @tuaningly​ @sxrensxngwrites @anhphunnnn​ @montys-chaos​ @toorubread​ @dawnsbaby​ @lovinsugamamma @halxma06​ @dumbv1rgo​ @neomemartin8383

[miraculouspaon]

Hamefura Harem Ranked

I’m bored and I just caught up with the My Next Life as a Villainess light novels so here’s the harem ranked:

11. Dewey. He’s twelve??????????? Is this, like, a thing in otome games? Because Katarina is just like “oh yeah the sequel game introduced a Younger Man for players who are into that” but? he’s? twelve?

10. Keith. Siiiiiiiiiiigh. It’s a shame ‘cause he might be the one I’m personally most attracted to? Normally anime characters don’t do it for me but I really like his dumb vests and his dumb hair. But. He’s. Her. Brother. And he didn’t HAVE to be, Katarina’s father could have just been like “I’m naming Keith as my heir so he’s living with us” and they could have kept the relationship friendly without being familial! But no it’s all “little brother” this and “big sister” that and it’s gross and the books know that but they don’t seem to get HOW gross it is.

9. Nicol. There’s a lot of telling and not much showing when it comes to his Mysterious Allure and at the end of the day he’s mostly a nothing character, also his sister does all the work for him, not a good look. Also he only likes her because she was the first person who said something nice about his sister? That’s a weird reason to fall in love with your best friend’s fiancee. And plenty of people have said nice things about Sophia since then. Move on, dude.

8. Uhhh the other new one, not Dewey or Sora, the one that’s secretly a farmer. Completely blanking on his name but he’s into farming, and Katarina is way more interested in farming than romance, so that’s nice.

7. Sophia. She and Katarina have a ton in common and she’s the reincarnation of Katarina’s best friend so you’d think she’d rank higher, but she just does not actually seem that interested to me. I think she remembers being Katarina’s friend and losing her young on some level and doesn’t want to lose her again, but her interest seems 100% platonic to me. She also spends all her effort campaigning for her brother. If you want Katarina to be your sister-in-law, just marry Keith! He’s perfect for you, he can redirect all his weird Older Brother energy towards you, which based on your relationship with Nicol you’d be super into, but you two aren’t actually related so it’s not gross.

6. Sora. Fun guy as rascals go. Plus I like a good kidnapping meet-cute.

5. Alan. I like their interactions as kids, I like that Katarina helped him start defining himself on his own terms instead of in relation to his brother, the musician thing is pretty hot. His voice is kind of annoying in the anime though.

4. Raphael. His backstory gets me GOOD, god damn. Poor little kid loses his mom and has to pretend to love the woman who murdered her so he doesn’t get murdered too? Grows up haunted by a homicidal ghost but thinks it’s just a part of himself? Still manages to resist all that darkness when Katarina breaks through his defenses? Like, goddamn. I really wish the anime had given his backstory an entire episode, the pathos hurts so good. Plus in the books his redemption arc is “gets punished with office work”, it’s harsh.

3. Mary. Maybe my personal favorite member of the harem. I love that in the original game she’s just this timid wallflower but for some reason Katarina’s influence transforms her into a goddamn powerhouse of ambition and accomplishment. Her crush on Katarina is like a real-life nerf, if she was able to move on and focus on other things she’d be running the country in like a week. She and Jeord should marry and conquer the world together.

2. Jeord, or whatever the fuck his name is. I’ve said this before, but “black-hearted sadist” HAHAHAHAHA. In the latest book he stoically confesses to Katarina the crime of *checks notes* having a grandfather that slept around. And he’s all, “It disgusts me to be related to such a man, do you hate me forever???” It’s very cute. And, unlike almost every other member of the harem, Jeord seems to be in love with Katarina entirely because of who she is, and not because she did something for him at a formative age. He just genuinely finds her fascinating and is in love with her because of it. It’s sweet. I guess he’s a little aggressive sometimes but lately Katarina seems kind of into it, albeit in an overwhelmed way, and for all Jeord’s game he’s kissed her, like, maybe three times?

1. Maria. Duh. I wish Maria were a little bit more interesting as a character, she’s like a little too blandly good at everything and Pure and Sweet BUT Katarina is so goddamn in love with her it doesn’t matter, nobody else could possibly be at the top of this list. Plus thematically it’s just too much fun for Katarina to wind up with the player character, the one that everybody is supposed to be in love with. By the logic of their world being a video game, Maria is the only one with free will! She gets to choose in a way that no one else does, and she chooses Katarina! Also in the latest books Katarina risks her life to save Maria and now Maria’s all desparate to level up so that never happens again and she can be the one saving Katarina instead, it is WONDERFUL.

[inventors-fair]

Tri, Tri, Tri Again

What makes a common? Usually the little black and/or white symbol on the card, but that’s not the point right now. What makes a common different than an uncommon? The thing is, we know the difference between a common and a rare, even when sometimes those lines are a little weird on older cards like Scion of the Wild and Sinkhole in their own ways. The line is there these days, and we’re designing for the modern era whether we like it or not. I’d hope that after over twenty years of tinkering we’re at a place where we do like it, so there’s that.

What stops a common from being an uncommon, though, is a little harder to quantify. We have to talk about recursion, multiples, finishing, the role in the draft, the complexity for new players, etc. There are so many factors that can make pushing commons hard in ways that we don’t touch that often. I wanted to do this contest because it’s both a restriction and a challenge. Making a common card isn’t easy unless you know your slot. Making a common with the three lines of text, well, that’s something else entirely. And for the most part, I think people did amazing work. There are a couple obvious cases where I feel people should have looked at prior examples, but in terms of general work, we’re on the ball here. 

We’re only doing two bullet points this week: “Things I like” and “Where to improve.” I feel that that’s the most constructive, yes? Gimmicks can be fun, but let’s be real, we are here to get as much positive feedback as we can and to improve what we like to do, which is making custom cards. Easy enough. Let’s pick some cards and some brains. 

@deg99 — Emberwild Inferno

Things I like: On its surface, this is mechanically just fine. It’s a three-mana bolt, but with a distinct upside, and you know, nobody’s going to be upset when playing this in a draft. Red removal is perfectly fine and anti-prevention, while a corner case most days… Well, kind of. There are actually ten current standard cards that prevent damage, which is kind of surprising to me! Still, ten ain’t as much as it could be for relevance, BUT, it’s still perfectly reasonable to see that it would be in this set.

Where to improve: Firstly, “Emberwild” is spelled with an “e” at the end in every iteration of MTG cards printed thus far, and it’s kind of throwing me off. Also, it’s a term from Dominaria; what city is doing the blessing? What city are they in? There needs to be a comma after damage, “cannot” should be “can’t,” and I feel that we have to tell at least one person almost every contest: Damage needs a source. “Emberwild Inferno deals 3 damage to any target.” No spells after 1999 use that kind of wording. Please, please proofread your cards.

@dim3trodon​ — Reassembling Sentinel

Things I like: Totally fine to be using Ward here, and I like where it’s going. This is an interesting cost-to-PT ratio, definitely more aggressive, and I don’t hate it. Flying and first strike later in the game are also totally valid. I’m personally not the biggest fan of ability counters, but in this instance, there’s absolutely nothing wrong here. Permanent additions like this are important for modern Magic.

Where to improve: But why add the ability counters only if they don’t have them? Is there some ruling corner case that I’m missing? Why not just four mana for a flying counter, three for a first strike counter? It doesn’t feel intuitive to me. Yes, multiple counters are waylaid on cards like Crystalline Giant, but that’s because it wants as many as possible. Here, where you can choose, I feel you could have just had it add the counters. Regarding flavor, I don’t see how this card is “reassembling” anything. Assembling, yes, but REassembling? Not clicking for me.

@dimestoretajic​ — Mob Beast

Things I like: Gruul rules! Well, there’s no ruling, but—anyway, this card works in interesting ways and I think it’s pretty serviceable. Raging Kronch comes to mind, and the beasts of Ravnica are definitely up there. It’s an interesting name for sure, and it’s making me think more than it is making me feel critical. Is this beast part of the mob, or belonging to the mob, like it’s being wrangled? It could be either, and that’s fair. This card would make a good finisher.

Where to improve: I’m worried about multiples in draft for sure. I mean, chances are you aren’t going to get too many of them, but having a bunch of hasty finishers can be a bit of a pickle especially when you can also slot these into other multicolor strategies. Maybe it’d need to be tested to be believed, but, y’know, how many one-mana 3/3s are there, right? For the flavor text, emdash your quoter and put them on a separate line. If it’s too cramped, time to revise.

@dumbellsndragons​ — Fledgling Nightblade

Things I like: Renown is fantastic here. I don’t necessarily know how renowned an assassin wants to be, but in their own circles, heck yes. It encourages blocking in its own way, and it’s certainly powerful on that front with the deathtouch. I think for me the flavor is one of the stronger points here, and I want to see a little bit more of a “professionally getting better in all colors and competing” world, so thumbs-up there.

Where to improve: The last time we saw deathtouch and menace at common was Kederekt Creeper from Alara, and, well, I don’t think that’s precedent; deathtouch and menace is strong. Really strong. Like, at common, I think it might be a bit too strong. It shows up printed so little because of that, even at higher rarities. Honestly, a 3-mana 1/2  or 2/1 might be better, but that’s also my worrywart tendencies. I’d have to play. This design as it stands would be fine in a Modern Horizons power level set more than a standard one.

@gollumni​ — Sovereign’s Duty

Things I like: I’m a big fan of “can block any number of creatures” for someone who isn’t super defensive when playing the game. I think it’s neat, and represents cool stuff, and I like this card a lot! The name is generic, but I don’t mean that as an insult. I could see this in a core set, on Dominaria, on Theros, on Eldraine, any number of planes, and for a common, that’s a good thing. That’s some success right there. 

Where to improve: That last ability made me worried about layers until I checked with some rules people. It’s not the layers so much as it is the wording. “As long as enchanted creature’s toughness is 5 or greater, it can block any number of creatures.” Continuous effects. Argh, that really threw me for a second! It was also kind of frustrating because there wasn’t any great precedent, but you know, nothing wrong with new territory.

@hiygamer​ — Guider of Souls

Things I like: Exploit would make a very cool mechanic in Orzhov, and I think that if we ever do a “mechanic/faction mixup” contest then you get precedent on that front. Totally flavorful and totally awesome. I think that Orzhov tokens was one of my favorite draft archetypes from RNA and this card continuing that tradition with death triggers is definitely up there in terms of capturing that feeling.

Where to improve: This card feels busy for some reason. Unfortunately, for this contest, you had to have the three lines, but were this printed, I don’t think it would have vigilance. Two flying bodies would be enough. If you wanted to keep vigilance, I’d definitely knock it down to one body. Two fliers… I feel that that’s too much. But, what do I know. Also why aren’t they white and black like the other Spirits? Regardless, that flavor text is also pretty dry. Not bad, but dry. What if it was the guider talking to the spirits instead? “Come, let me lead you to the light of Orzhova.” Little simpler, shorter, more personal.

@hyenagirldick​ — Poisoned Gookeeper

Things I like: I think despite this being kind of a placeholder, everyone liked this card’s name. I’m up there. This one, wow, this is giving me a lot of whiplash. The typeline is making me think Simic, but the “horror” is making me think Innistrad, but the Scavenge is making me think Ravnica again, but—and so on and so forth. I want context! Mechanically, using “scavenge onto” as a verb here is interesting and I don’t hate it. A good twist on this mechanic.

Where to improve: Despite that drive for context, I think ultimately the mashup is making me more confused than intrigued. It’s just over the line, to be fair, but it needs consolidation of ideas. You’re asking a lot of us here, to interpret the world, a new use for the mechanic (that seems considerably cheaper than the average common scavenge-r), to have a deathtouch blocker like this with the high toughness, etc. It’s not bad! But it’s a lot.

@hypexion​ — Blade of the Blessed

Things I like: I feel that the trend of having cool explorations of auras and equipment is 100% the right way to go and this card feels like it slots right in. Let’s talk about flavor, because without flavor text, this card still tells an amazing story. As long as you’re able, pick up the sword and fight. But, if you’re blessed by XYZ deity, then the blade becomes easier to wield. Fantastic. That much I like.

Where to improve: I believe that the last ability is too complex for common. It’s not that it doesn’t make sense or that it’s too powerful, but I believe that it’s asking stuff from players that they wouldn’t necessarily understand at common; it’s not immediately grokable. I like the space and I like what it’s doing. I think if you drop the cost to 1W it would be a fine uncommon. And you know what, I think I’m in the minority. I think that there will be disagreement, and I understand where that’s coming from.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Mummification

Things I like: I’m always a fan of cycling abilities for sure. Can’t be countered, instant-speed, powerful effects, heck yeah. I’m also a fan of finisher abilities like this. Black’s triggers for life-loss were definitely fun with those big enchantments. There aren’t a heck of a lot of common noncreature non-aura enchantments out there as precedent, but regardless, they exist.

Where to improve: Looking up precedents for this effect, I’m definitely skeptical about this at common. For one, it’s any player. For two, it’s whenever a spell is cast. For three, it’s harder to remove. All that together combined with a potential common cycling shell where you can draft a bunch of these and then make all black spells have extort? Actually, this card is almost strictly better than a two-mana enchantment with “Black spells you cast have extort.” Almost. I think this might have had to go back to the drawing board. As for the flavor, I don’t grok what the name, text, and abilities have to do with one another.

@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Coffin Devourer

Things I like: I just read the flavor text, and, uh. I love it but wow. That’s some nasty, funny, funky stuff. So! Let’s talk about the card. Perfectly serviceable in terms of getting things out of graveyards then making creatures big. There aren’t too many cards with tap abilities and vigilance at common, but they’re definitely there, so that’s okay. Man, I can’t get over that name and flavor combo. That’s really something special.

Where to improve: This card doesn’t really fit the prompt, and I think next time I’d have to reach out about something like this. Vigilance and trample go on the same line; yes, even in standard-legal sets where sometimes abilities don’t go together, because that’s mostly for starters and core sets and the like. Technically it fits the prompt, but for all practical purposes it’s a workaround that shouldn’t have been submitted as-is. Now, that’s Fair meta. The card’s totally fine on every other front, I think. You’re gonna have to decide, though, if you wanna stick with the sort of Scavenging Ooze wording or the Tome Shredder wording. I think you should go with the second, with the exile as a cost.

@mardu-lesbian​ — Rifleman Trio (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: Huh, another card with vigilance and a tap ability. Well there we go! This card’s also got a lot going on, but it doesn’t feel like anything is at odds with itself, and is also on the upper side of being pushed without going into strictly uncommon territory. It’s got reach (“Stay on the defense, fellas!”) for blocking as it comes down, it’s got conditional vigilance (“Learn from those organized chaps!”) which encourages multicolor play but doesn’t force it, and it’s got that cool damage that is both a finisher, a pinger, and teaches a little about the combat advantage (“FIRE!”). So yeah!

Where to improve: I guess the only question would be where the rifles come from. Is this Ixalan-ian? I don’t think it super matters. This is a great commendable card.

@masternexeon​ — Bloodstarved Beast

Things I like: “Vampire beast” is one heck of a typeline. I like that part a lot, and honesty, I like weird echo costs a lot to. I’m surprised this isn’t a name already, actually! This card feels like its basis is in a lot of neat love letters to old-school Magic and high fantasy, even outside of the choice to submit with old-border.

Where to improve: The complexity of this one is definitely up there and past. Doing weird things with established mechanics that aren’t immediately grokable probably don’t belong at common. What happens when you blink it after previously paying an echo cost, a player might ask? Paying a cost for a continuous effect feels...weird, and I actually don’t know if that works within the rules. Nothing wrong with that specific echo cost, so that’s fine, but the second ability isn’t something I’d personally want at common. For the last ability, it should be “you draw a card and you lose 1 life,” see Phyrexian Rager.

@misterstingyjack​ — Flames of Anarchy

Things I like: Removal and cycling is perfectly serviceable. The cost suggests that the set has a stronger monocolor theme if the removal is costed like this, although it might just be for the slightly more powerful effect (sort of) and the ability to cycle if you don’t have the RR already. Name’s pretty darn awesome, too.

Where to improve: I know that you tried to balance it by making it only his creatures or planeswalkers, but this is still a recursive damage spell that’s asking weird things of you. What sort of set would have a sorcery-matters theme at common? What’s the as-fan? I think you had a cool idea that is indeed cool, but what you’re asking of your set and your rarity is too much than what can be provided. I don’t think this kind of recursion is what you want at common. In the shell that it’s intended to be in, I think it’s too powerful.

@morbidlyqueerious​ — Proven Sword (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: Like I said earlier, new things with equipment and auras are totally awesome, and I fully support this kind of cost. Equipping to certain creature types for cheap makes sense to me because nine times out of ten it’s not something that’s going to be radically changing; either the creature is there or it’s not, and it’s either a Warrior or not. And that’s cool! First strike can be really powerful with that boost that you’re giving it, and if you have any other warrior or equipment strategies, then you better believe things are gonna get nasty on the field. I think this is a one-of in your pool, but it’s a fantastic one-of. Equipment can be undervalued at times!

Where to improve: I’m not 100% down with the flavor text. The blacksmith doesn’t “make” the metal, do they? They make the blade. I think that you had a good concept but it’s not exactly there yet.

@naban-dean-of-irritation​ — Physical Fluctuation

Things I like: Well, the art’s a big plus, and the flavor’s funny, so that’s pretty great. I think that common combat tricks in the GW sphere have always been a little funky, especially with Ravnica’s weird return to that again and again. There was even that green one, but searching for things that have multiple instances of “target creature” on Scryfall is such a pain.

Where to improve: Seeds of Strength is weird, but they’re all +1/+1 so at least that much makes sense, same buffing all around. Martial Glory is a little harder to grok sometimes, but it’s only up to two creatures, so that’s not the worst that can happen. If you have three creatures, then this card has a number of options that is legitimately making me worried about my ability to do simple math and statistics. The variance here in P/T distribution is off the charts. Yeah, it would make sense in-game, but just on principle, I don’t want that much at common. It’s—you know what, I’m gonna do some math. … There are at least 27 different variations if you have three creatures. I don’t think that that’s what people need at common.

@narkis24 — Unbound Devil

Things I like: Pushed P/T with drawback is totally valid. I like the fact that the “unbound” in the name refers to the fact that you can’t control it, literally, without someone holding the leash. That could make for some fun flavor things. If you’re on-curve, then you got some big beats that you can get in early.

Where to improve: I honestly wonder if it’s too much, actually. Yeah, it has to attack every time, but if you can get a one-drop then this then any removal on-curve and/or more Devils, then you’re in one crazy good spot. I think in terms of power level, this is uncommon for sure. In terms of abilities, I did a little searching, and there isn’t any precedent for non-temporary control switching at common. That’s for a good reason, IMO. Again, this is a great card, but definitely uncommon. And a good draft uncommon, too!

@nicolbolas96​ — Lost to Memory (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: This is a really funky pauper card that also happens to have great draft function. The destruction is conditional, but on-curve you’re going to be fine with it. If there are no good targets, you can at least get a card out of their hand and deck. I think that the versatility there is awesome and that this card is definitely up there in terms of playability. And, well, it’s not that powerful. That’s a good thing! It stays at the common line while having great effects and not pushing anywhere it doesn’t need to be. Yeah, maybe the Pauper-rack meta doesn’t want it at sorcery speed, but heck, I think it’s great. Good with Chittering Rats

Where to improve: The flavor text lacks something for me. I know sometimes he asks questions, but unless they’re directed at someone specific, they tend to be either contextual to another statement or answered. I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel as...suave as Bolas usually is. It seems small but it’s a hangup for me. Feel free to up his grandiosity.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Idyllic Falchion

Things I like: Heh, back to equipment. You know how I feel about that. Interesting sacrifice trigger. I think that that’s the strongest part of the card in terms of—well, maybe not power, but in terms of the “cool” factor and “push” factor. It’s fine for common, and it’s strong, and you need the color to cast it, so that’s awesome. And bonus points for making me look up the word “falchion” too; it helped to envision the weapon and scenario you had in mind.

Where to improve: The second ability doesn’t work. The equipment would need to be on the battlefield for the equip cost to be activated. Instead, it would read: “{cost}: Return ~ from your graveyard to the battlefield attached to target creature. Activate only as a sorcery.” And that would honestly be kick-ass for like...six mana? Get that in your archives, ‘cause I like the idea a lot. As it stands, doesn’t work rules-wise.

@rasputin-gold​ — Copse Fiend

Things I like: “Copse” got me, and I like the vocab check there, very nice. I think that your typing and the general mood is really fantastic, and holy crap, look: that flavor text literally gave  me a touch of ASMR. It’s not the next great American novel, but it fits so well, and it feels great and creepy, and it tells me so much, and that, that’s awesome.

Where to improve: Let’s take all that mood and make a different card with it, because there’s...a lot going on. A four-mana 4/3 with wither would be totally fine by itself at common. GG activation for a lure? Okay, makes sense, but combined with the wither, that’s something that’s far too powerful at common, assuming a set with the mana alignment to make that happen. The assumption that you have a Forest (capital F!) to give it first strike (tertiary in black and NOT in green) and potential recursion is way too far gone. If this card were presented without rarity I would assume it was rare. So, yeah, this is one of those times where it’s not a bad card but for this contest it’s just too much. Keep it appropriate for rarity.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Dwarf Forge Scrapheap (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: Well, I already talked about the clues from the winners’ post, so I’ll go out on a limb and say that yes, I like this one too. A combination of the “shifting animated pile of knobs and gears and junk that when animated can come to life and hit you in the face” with “forget this I’m gonna make mana” is pretty funny to me, in that dry card way, and this card in general is pretty cool. In terms of gameplay, yeah, you can have a beater on turn four if you really need the boost, or late in the game as a colorless source, but it’s also mana-fixing, a three-mana buttwall, and just a cool card all around. I think that this is one of those that could have great art flavored on a cool world, and the name could be changed to fit just about anything. 

Where to improve: “Add ONE mana of any color.” ONE. I’m unreasonably curmudgeonly about that error, somewhat jokingly, a little rib-nudgingly. Easy oversight, but don’t let it happen again! (Kidding, kidding, I know I need to up my editing skills too.)

@snugz​ — Sidestep

Things I like: this card. I like this card, dangit. I don’t care that it wouldn’t be very playable in a whole lot of decks or archetypes as a weird combat trick, but I like it. It’s simple and funny and plays into the “I’m gonna right myself while tripping you up” gag and that’s great. The simplicity speaks to some Rookie Mistake vibes that I’m down with.

Where to improve: Again, I don’t think it’s playable. I could see them printing this card and having it be basically draft chaff, but maybe not, maybe it’s something in a combat-trick heavy set with some radical payoff. Maybe it’s a pauper Heroic card that could make the deck tier-1. But it’s so simple that it’s hard to talk about! I’m sorry I can’t give more feedback than that, honestly. The card’s too well-made. So, with that in mind, you need to season this steak. Any flavor text for any context would be awesome.

@starch255​ — Scab-Clan Brawler

Things I like: 100%, this feels Gruul. It’s a big fighter that’s on-curve with some brutal flavor despite no flavor-text. The notion of the Gruul tribespeople fighting among themselves comes across here fantastically, and having a 3/3 trampler is definitely something that a RG drafter will want on turn three.

Where to improve: [Foreword: This is a lot of text and I swear it’s mostly not criticism; you made me think.]  Brawl needs work. A lot of work. As it stands, either you lose a small creature, you lose this one and put a +1/+1 counter on your bigger creature, or you happen to have a 2/4 that can survive. I am… I’m working this out as I’m writing, and I want to like it, and I want to improve it, but the more I think about it, the more I think that the mechanic isn’t the problem. I think it’s actually surprisingly complex, almost more complex than a Gruul player would want immediately. The choice of payoffs is so hard to think about—and at this point, I’m not so much criticizing as I am ruminating. I really want to play with this mechanic just to see if my knee-jerk “fighting your own creatures is bad, ugh” is lizard brain and if there’s galaxy brain behind it. You’ve put me in a conundrum here. Hold onto this one.

@thedirtside — River Delta

Things I like: Great name, makes sense. I can picture the landscape where you would want this place to appear. Nonbasic lands are pretty interesting to design at common, and breaking away from the Guildgate/Life-gain lands was an ambitious move.

Where to improve: I know fetchlands are weird on the scale, but in terms of probability, the ability to (1) get your colorless mana if need be OR (2) tutor for the land you need while thinning your deck and furthermore (3) getting a 3/3 body once you’ve sacrificed it later in the game… This is borderline rare and might even be pushed for an uncommon. Yes, it’s basic, but in limited that’s a non-issue and in constructed there’s nothing wrong with getting your basic lands just to make this card work for you. The part about it being tapped really isn’t that much of a massive drawback. I like this card a lot. It’s not common power level. Small notes: “shuffle your library” can just be “shuffle” IIRC, and your comma between the 3UG and Exile seems wonky.

@wilsonosgoodmcman​ — Ruthless Vigilante

Things I like: Gotta love a vampire rogue. This particular card doesn’t seem to have a home, but it doesn’t seem to be sending any mixed-messages either. Ixalan doesn’t really want the roguishness, Dominaria could have it but where’s the vigilantism, Innistrad has different colors, Ravnica has different flavors, etc. etc. So does it belong? Yes! But “were” is yet to be determined. That’s totally okay. 

Where to improve: IMO, your abilities are too strong together. Vigilance and deathtouch is a pretty powerful combo once you get yourself in a position where you can attack, because, well, then you still have a murderous blocker. There’s a reason it hasn’t appeared at common yet. The lifelink feels a bit odd, honestly, and the toughness boosting feels out of place. Why is an aggressive vigilante boosting its toughness? Actually, why does a rogue have vigilance? There’s no precedent or flavor connection there. I’m just not feeling what this card is offering me. It might play, like, fine, but it doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t feel like it has a place that couldn’t be replaced by a more cohesive card.

@wolkemesser​ — Dry Sands Summoning

Things I like: We haven’t had a real good desert world since the Abzan from KTK, and I miss that. Having a sandy feel and aesthetic could be really cool here, and I think that what you were going for what the flavor of turning the desert into, like, part of the warrior tribe. That much I like a lot.

Where to improve: I find myself a little frustrated trying to write commentary, because there’s a lot to go on here and I don’t want to be too harsh. I’m going to address the individual parts, but in general, please, please run these cards by people before submitting.

The hybrid cost is fine but that’s pushing it a little. Eventide was an exception I personally liked, but the color weight doesn’t always play well with others. That part is honestly fine.

Enchanting cards in graveyards should never currently appear at common. Spellweaver Volute is a rules nightmare/abomination. 

It would be “Enchant land or land card in a graveyard.” “Warrior” needs to be capitalized. “Enchanted land is a 3/1 Sand Warrior creature with haste. It’s still a land.”

What is the purpose of having a land also be a creature in your graveyard? At common? I can’t envision any scenario in which that would be a reasonable theme. It can’t attack from your graveyard, it would be weird for type-changing in the graveyard with Conspiracy, and it wouldn’t move it to the battlefield either.

The retrace is a decision that’s almost designed to cause confusion. So it could enchant a card in a graveyard, but not be in a graveyard, until it’s in your graveyard, whereupon you can discard a land to cast it from your graveyard, but not target a land discarded this way.

@yourrightfulking​ — Mutilated Faerie

Things I like: This name and the intention of the flavor text is almost grimdark; I’m not averse to that. I actually really like the fact that it can’t block, because it lets you have deathtouch with a little more aggression. The fact that it’s an assassin almost makes me wonder about the story of this individual character, and you know what, that means that flavorfully you’re doing something really right.

Where to improve: The “human sacrificing” part feels important to your implied set, and I don’t know how to feel about that. You get a 2/1 deathtouch body and potentially take out another faction? I mean, if this was Eldraine, this card would probably be actually sought in drafts with the human as-fan. Might be a little too powerful on that front depending on the environment. But, uh, the flavor and name? I want to like it but it’s more confusing than not. “Pixie plucking” seems like either a poaching crime or a children's game, and the reason WHY pixies are plucked could be better specified. The second sentence is a fragment. Your story implies that a plucked pixie will 100% die, but then, how did this one get mutilated? To kill the culprit, the pixie would have had to escape mutilation, and this mutilated one apparently survived a 100% kill rate? Not sure where you’re going with this. Sort it out and you’ll be fine.

And there we have it. Again, I wanna stress, I’m using my best judgement and opinions here, but people are absolutely free to disagree. I hope that the constructive portion, even if it’s something you disagree with, helps see another perspective. Lots of cards here help me see other perspectives as well, and thank you for that. Tune in for something tomorrow. What will it be? The world may never know. Or maybe it will. Or will it?

— @abelzumi​