#in honor of my birthday being last week

[theanimeroom]

Hiii, one of isagi being such a cutie and respectful boyfriend BUT then in reader's birthday she wishes "world peace and being fucked by his cute bf" and then good boy isagi let her perv side out 🛐🛐🛐

yes 🫡

bf!isagi yoichi who was terrified of PDA when you two first got together. you assured him that it was fine, the two of you didn’t have to go farther than holding hands or occasional kisses whenever he felt comfortable. he still hesitated every time his fingers laced between yours though, his face turning bright red and his eyes always being unable to meet yours.

he always saw you as his little treasure, and he wanted all eyes away from you because you belong to him <3. he was used to being in the spotlight with his career, but he never wanted to drag you into it. there were probably several talks about making your relationship public, to which you didn’t mind, but isagi didn’t share the same sentiment.

he wanted you to himself, wanted to make sure that no one else even considered trying to make moves on you without having his fangirls trying to pick you apart. he’s a major homebody, believe it or not. whenever nagi or bachira would beg for him to come out he always opted to stay in the house with you, watching movies and eating candy so sweet you swore your teeth should have fallen out by now.

his love for you and natural reclusiveness only skyrocketed the day you opened your eyes to a platter being placed under your nose, the smell of fresh, crispy bacon and toast filling your sensing before you could even register what day it was.

“happy birthday!” his sweet voice was the first thing you got to hear, a sleepy smile stretching across your face. his eyes were big and filled with happiness as he watched you attempt to sit up, rubbing the rest of your fatigue away with your hands. when your breakfast was placed in front of you a small giggle broke through your yawn at the preparations. there were around 8 strips of bacon on the plate, along with scrambled eggs, a couple halves of toast and a blueberry muffin with a little candle wick placed on top. “i made your favorite.”

“did you?” you giggled, feeling your heart swell at the hopeful expression on isagi’s face. your boyfriend was always so sweet, almost sickeningly so sometimes. he was typically all forehead kisses and soft touches, like you were a porcelain doll. even in bed, he preferred making love to anything else, it made him feel like he was appreciating you for all that you were worth. you loved it of course, adored it even. it’s what made you fall in love with him in the first place, but sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like you wanted….more.

you’d seen isagi on the field. you knew the kind of stamina, passion, and drive he had when it came to crushing his opponents, you just wished that sometimes he’d come home and crush you instead.

so when your sweet, innocent, loving boyfriend told you to make a wish on the muffin candle, you didn’t even have to ponder on your wish. leaning in with shielded vision, you spoke your wish with a sly smile on your face. “i wish for world peace and to be fucked by the undeniably hot boyfriend.”

when you looked at your boyfriend, his eyes were as wide as saucers. you were his sweet girl, and he’d never even considered being even remotely rough with you because of it. but alas, there was only so much strength a man could have after hearing that slip from your lips.

and that’s exactly how you ended up here, with your ass angled in the air and your moans muffled by the fabric of your pillowcase. there was one hand pressed against the back of your head, pushing you further into the bed when his other hand held down your arm against your back. your plea’s and moans fell on deaf ears though, the only thing on isagi’s mind being the filth that he’s spewing your way.

“aww, is this what my sweet baby wished for? wanted to be treated like a little slut, huh?” he punctuated his question with a hard thrust, hips flesh against your ass.

you wailed in the pillow, but a broken response didn’t seem to be enough for the man above you. with a brash tug his fingers were in your hair, tugging until your neck was strained and your teary eyes were looking back at him. his thrusts never slowed down still hitting all the spots that’s make you twitch and see those pretty little stars in the corner of your vision. “good little whores are supposed to answer when they’re spoken to, aren’t they?”

“y-yes!!” your voice was strained, body weak from pleasure although you tried to follow his instructions. your body shuffled, trying to push back against him but only receiving a rough slap on the flesh of your ass in response. his fingers dug into the skin as he leaned down, lips grazing the shell of your ear.

the air sent a shiver down your spine, your mind only filled with thoughts of him. his voice was light, the power of his thrusts leaving you both breathless. “my baby seems to be getting a little greedy,” he chuckled, a soft grunt slipping through at the wet patch staining the pillow, a string of drool leaving his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “but since it’s your birthday, i’ll let you off the hook.”

your back arched as isagi bottomed out inside of you, hips flush against your ass, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. you moaned, trying your hardest to fuck yourself back onto him and chase the tingling feeling that permeated your toes and fingertips. you could barely breathe with the way he was fucking you, and if you weren’t in love with he man before this, you definitely were now.

“you know i love you right, baby?” isagi asked, grinning when you frantically nodded your head. he wasn’t even sure if you’d heard what he said to you, your eyes glazed over and breathing so labored that he laced his fingers in your hair and pulled your face out of the pillow. “you still with me sweet girl?”

“uh huh,” you groaned, pushing your hips back in hopes for him to fuck you more rather than talk. with a chuckle, isagi wrapped a hand around your waist.

“good, because you won’t be in a second,” were the last words he said before forcing his cock in as far as it could go. the sounds of skin against skin reverberated around the room, combined with the broken whimpers coming from you and the occasional moan and groan from isagi.

the knot in your stomach tightened as he prodded that one spot inside of you, causing the muscles in your body tense as your body started to succumb to the pleasure.

“gonna come for me baby?” the man above you asked, landing a harsh smack against the side of your ass. a guttural moan left you at the sensation, the sight of your cunt creaming his cock only causing his pace to quicken. with another smack you were wailing out a positive response, thighs trembling as they tried to keep your body upright. “wanna feel the birthday girl come all over me, you can do that pretty, right?”

isagi didn’t have to say another word, the simple request being all you needed to let the waves of pleasure take over your body with a strangled moan. isagi let out a moan of his own at the way you squeezed around him, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he bottomed out, eyes rolling as ropes of come painted your inner walls.

isagi breathed heavily into your ear, the sensation tickling your skin just enough to make you shuffle underneath him.

“mmm baby,” you spoke lowly, turning your head so your face wasn’t plastered into the pillow. the male above you hummed, eyes closed in bliss as he came down from his high. it took you a second before you were able to respond, still trying your hardest to catch your breath. when you did respond though, the words slipped from you with a smile.

“can this be my birthday present every year?”

don’t plagiarize! it’s not nice <3

theanimeroom

[eideticmemory]

LATE NIGHT TALKING | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

The best man and maid of honor hooking up? How cliche!!

Word Count: 8k

Warning/Includes: Ridiculous amounts of flirting. Very “omg just fuck him and get it over with” vibes. The wedding of a fictional couple that I got way too invested in! Smut! Named after this song because I was listening to it when I got the request lmao.

Shout out to Matthew for literally being in someone’s wedding while I was writing this. I love you, baby ❤️

Hattie Welsh is a city girl. She was born and raised downtown where she would walk herself to school during the week and had a route for maximum weekend shopping. An only child to two parents, a dad who stayed home when it was Not the norm, she got anything and everything she ever wanted. Her dad would meet her on the front porch with her bike after school and they'd cruise around the neighborhood. On weekends, all three of them would take the 10 minute drive to the local park where they'd bike the same 8 miles every Saturday. At the end of the trail was an ice cream shop. Birthday cake was her favorite. She'd get three scoops in a cone but her dad would always end up finishing the last scoop for her.

It was memories like these that inspired Hattie to use her business degree to open an outdoor supply company. She named it after her parents. Alan & Eva's Co-op. It started very local. But Hattie was always good with promotion. She had an excellent marketing team and connections formed around the state. A year into business and Alan & Eva had three locations.

With this sudden growth, Hattie had to seek out more intensive financial advisement and she requested the services of LF Corporation - financial consultants of companies like North Face and REI.

This is how she met Cole Briggs.

Cole was sent to meet with Alan & Eva's CEO. He knew her name, he knew her qualifications, he knew the context of their meeting. He did not know how gorgeous she was so he was immediately caught off guard. His palms were sweaty by the time they shook hands.

"Oh, wow!" he remarked as he saw the bike mounted on her wall. "A Schwinn? I had the same one as a kid but in green!"

"Oh my gosh, yes! That's actually my childhood bike!" she beamed. She leaned over her desk with a bright smile. "I've kinda outgrown it."

He laughed, "I grew up in Pullen Park neighborhood so my friends and I would ride the trail at-"

"Warren park?" she gasped. "My parents and I used to go every weekend, still do!"

"No way! Where-where are your parents?"

"Downtown, near the natural science museum."

"Ah, yeah, yeah. We didn't get downtown often but we would occasionally have family dinner nights at Kaleidoscope."

"Oh, we love kaleidoscope. The lobster-"

'Mac and cheese! Are you kidding? I can inhale it in one bite. Sometimes my dad would pick it up for me on the way home.”

She cackled. She looked at him lovesick. "How have we never met?"

"What high school did you go to?"

"Hollis. You?"

"Ah, okay. I went to the Day School."

"Ooh, fancy pants."

Blush crept over his face and flustered, he set out his briefcase and took a deep breath. "So you're looking into financial assistance for all three locations?"

She stared at him for a moment, "That's right."

And that was it.

Immediately after Cole left the room, she called you. Her best friend, her confidant, her person. You had your hands busy at work so you tucked the phone between your ear and shoulder, “Hello?"

"[y /n]! Hi, you busy?"

"Uh, a little. But I can chat. What's up?"

"I think I just met my husband."

You paused. "Okay, I'm not busy."

Cole proposed while they were on a hike. A week before, he had asked for your blessing. He said, "You'll be the first one she calls so I just didn't want you to be surprised."

Though, when she facetimed you to show you the diamond rock, you still pretended to be surprised.

A formal ask to be her maid of honor was completely unnecessary. You were born to do it. Who else would it be? Still, she made you the cutest basket, filled with perfume, a travel mug, some candles, some candy. You happily accepted.

And happily planned her engagement party and bridal shower and bachelorette party. You got the dress she wanted you to wear. And when the weekend finally arrived, you traveled nearly an hour into the country to get to the wedding venue.

10 acres of privately owned land sequestered down a dirt road. The ceremony site was a simple platform with an arbor placed in front of rows of benches. Surrounded by trees. Hiding right beside it is a wooden home designated for the newlyweds. The reception site is about a mile away, covered by a tent. There is a garden of roses and daisies. Further down the property is a large barn with rows of tents. It is absolutely everything Cole and Hattie wanted. It is so them.

You help set up for the rehearsal dinner. The parents of the bride and groom have arrived. Your friends and fellow bridesmaids are mingling with the groomsmen. Hattie would be so much more stressed without Opal. Opal is a an older woman, short but strong and a prolific wedding planner. She ushers the men around like pieces on a chess board and directs the caterers without so much as a glance.

As you chat with the happy couple, she calls, "Cole." It's not exactly friendly. She marches up and takes a firm hold of his arm.

"Yes, ma'am?" Cole shakes and Hattie glances over at you with a small smirk. You have to contain your laughter.

"Where is the best man? We are way behind schedule and losing daylight."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. He had to fly in but last I heard he was on the road from the airport."

"Okay, can I get an ETA on that?"

"I, uh...I don't... have one."

"Babe!" Hattie whines.

"Hey, I'm sorry! Look," he glances at all three of you, intimidated by your pressed faces. "T'll give him a call."

"Wonderful idea," Opal watches closely as he steps away, his phone in his hand, quickly pressed to his ear. She turns away from Hattie, mumbling,

"You update me on that, okay?"

"Yes, Opal," she nods and turns to you with a huff.

You giggle, "Are you sure this guy's real?"

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Okay, well," you throw your hands up in a shrug, "Can't we just start without him? It's hot and we're supposed to be eating already."

"No, we can't. It throws off the flow of the ceremony. Plus, Cole really wants him here."

"Mhm and where is this guy coming from again?"

"Matthew."

"Huh?"

"His name is Matthew."

"Okay. Where is Matthew coming from?"

"New York. I told you he's an actor."

"Yes, yes," you roll your eyes. "Surprised he could find time in his busy schedule to come to his friend's wedding."

"He loves Cole. Cole loves him. More than me, I think. They've known each other forever."

'Mhm. Quick question, does Matthew know Cole's getting married tomorrow?"

She shakes her head and laughs, beaming at Cole as he walks back over. "Hi, baby. Did you talk to him?"

"Uh...no..." he feels bad saying it. "But! I'm sure he'll be here any second."

"Cole!" it's a shriek from the distance that instantly silences the crowd. The crunching of leaves under hurried feet, rustling through the trees, "Cole! I'm here! I'm here!"

"See?" Cole says to Hattie with the brightest smile. "I told you, I told you! Matthew!" he waves.

And out of the trees comes what you can only describe as a colorful slenderman. He's tall and dressed in a sage suit, in accordance with the dress code. He nearly trips coming down the steps but he catches himself, just in time, stumbling over on the tip of his toes. The center of attention, pulling all eyes towards his entrance, which you think would annoy the bride and groom. But no, you look at them and they're just delighted. Grinning ear to ear, Cole's arms outstretched to catch Matthew in a great, big hug.

"Oh, man!" Matthew huffs. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. My flight got delayed and then I couldn't get a rental and then I got lost, I'm so sorry!" he instantly releases Cole to give Hattie a kiss on the cheek and a hug, "I'm so sorry, please don't kick me out of your wedding."

Hattie cackles, “Oh, we could never!”

You watch as his expression transfers from guilt to a sweet smile. You watch him rub your best friend's back and give her one final squeeze before his eyes cut up and accidentally meet your gaze. He couldn't help but wonder where the pretty sandals and pretty dress would lead, but once he sees your face, he can't look away. He stands up tall and takes a small step around Hattie just to get to you. "Hi," he holds out his hand.

"Hi," you smile and your hand fits in his like a glove. You only take a second to memorize the features of his face, the tip of his nose, the stubble on his chin, the light in his eyes. But it feels like an eternity.

Behind him, Hattie and Cole watch the spark catch flame. She nudges his arm and they look at each other with knowing smiles. Cole nods, "Uh, Matthew, this is Hattie's best friend and maid of honor, [y/n]. [y/n], this is my best friend and best man, Matthew."

"ly/n]." Matthew says breathlessly. "Hi."

"Matthew. Hello, nice to meet you."

"Now," he slyly puts his hand over yours to keep it in place. "That is maid of honor, right? Not matron?"

You giggle, "Yes. I'm completely and totally unwed."

"Good, good. Excellent. Love to hear it."

You giggle, again, and it's the most ridiculous sound. Cole and Hattie could not enjoy the show any more. "You two will actually be walking down the aisle together," Hattie says.

"Oh, wow," Matthew exclaims. "Had I known that, I would've been here way sooner."

"So not funny, dude," Cole shakes his head but you think it's hilarious.

"You're laughing?" Opal's voice cuts the laughter short. "The sun is setting, the food is getting cold and you're laughing?"

"Sorry, Opal," Cole frowns. "This is Matthew, the-"

"Matthew, [y/n], I need you two right here," she interrupts and with a hand on Matthew's shoulder, she gently pushes him to the side. She pushes him directly into you and it's almost instinct for his hands to take hold of your waist. Just as much so for your palms to fall on his chest.

"Oh no," he whispers. "This is... terrible."

You laugh and take a step back but he holds onto to your wrist, places your hand around his bicep as he faces forward.

"You feel at home being directed all over the place?" you ask, anxiously straightening out your dress.

"Um, actually I prefer to do the directing."

"Oh, have you considered wedding planning?"

"I offered to plan for these guys but they turned me down. I mean, what the fuck?"

"Well, I think that would've required you to be on time. Early even."

"Oh, then I'm out."

You cackle, a lot louder than you mean to, and once again here's Opal. "You two need to switch sides."

"Hm?"

"Switch."

"Oh."

You feel Matthew's hand linger on your back as you step around him, your hand instantly latching onto his opposite arm.

"We're so good at this," you shrug.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, right? Right? You'd think she'd cut us some slack."

Despite all the fuss leading up to it, the ceremony rehearsal itself is only 10 minutes at most. You and Matthew are the last to make your entrance and it is an odd feeling to separate. He stands on the opposite side of the arbor and as the flower girl practices her walk, he catches your eyes and mouths: miss you.

"Wonderful!" Opal cheers. It's the first time you've seen her smile all night. Once Cole and Hattie have finally taken their places right in the center. "Absolutely wonderful. Now, if everyone will head over to the reception hall for dinner. There is a lukewarm meal awaiting you all," and she cuts her eyes at Matthew.

"Again, Opal, so sorry about that," he shakes his head. You seem to be the only one who finds it funny.

Hattie gives Cole one big kiss and turns to you, "How weird was that? Me walking down the aisle? Did I look stupid?"

You take her hands in yours, shaking your head, "You looked beautiful. It's gonna be beautiful."

She shrieks, a long "eeeek!" of excitement that ripples amongst you and your friends. The group steps down from the platform, followed closely by the groom and his party. Matthew takes the opportunity to grab Cole's arm and whisper, "How long have you known [y/n]?”

"Uh, pretty much as long as I've known my fiancée." he laughs.

"And you were... what? Just hiding her from me? Not cool."

"You were hardly in the proper condition for someone like [y/n]. She's, uh, how do I say? Very grown up. Very focused, like her best friend.”

"And now? What condition am I in now?"

"The kind of condition where...I literally had no choice but to let you meet her?"

"Fuck off," Matthew shoves him and Cole stumbles with a cocky laugh.

"Sooooo," Hattie says as she interlocks your arms. She notices you looking back and she knows exactly who you're looking for. "Little lady?"

"Yes, little miss?"

"What do you think of Matthew?"

Your stomach flips at the sound of his name. "What do you mean?"

"Don't do that."

"What? What are you talking about?"

“This was you the whole rehearsal.." she sticks her finger between her teeth and mocks your giggle, "Tee-hee. Oh, tee-hee-hee-hee.”

"I was not!"

"Oh, but you were. You're quite smitten."

"I am not!"

"He's smitten with you, too."

"Whatever," you roll your eyes. But after a brief pause, you ask, "You think so?"

Clink-clink-clink.

You watch as Hattie rises from her seat, her doting fiancé standing beside her, to give a toast. You look up at her and it's not until this moment that you realize she's getting married. Not when she tried on her dress, not when she did a practice run down the aisle. Here. Now. With Cole's arm around her waist.

"Thank you all so much for being here. We're so grateful to have all our closest friends and family by our sides through this crazy weekend. I know some of you traveled very far and some of you are probably wondering when this whole thing will just be over but," she laughs along with the crowd. "Soon. Very soon. Thank you all for being readers in our little fairytale. Particularly these people sitting up here beside us, I know my friends have gotten an earful about Cole over the years."

"What did she say?" Cole interrupts, jokingly cutting his head towards all of you which earns him a burst of laughter.

"Seriously. Thank you all. Tomorrow wouldn't be possible without you and we can't imagine any other way. So…" she raises her glass glass and, because she's the bride and everyone must obey, everyone raises theirs as well. She looks Cole right in the eye and gives him that same lovesick smile she gave them the day they met. You glance away for only a moment and Matthew is looking at you the same way.

You tilt your head at him, furrow your eyebrows.

"To you," Hattie says. "To me. To us. Cheers."

"Cheers!" you toast, looking directly at Matthew who raises his glass to you, you alone, before taking a sip.

At the end of the night, the bride and groom are meant to retire to their respective areas. Cole and his groomsmen have a cabin on the other side of the property. Hattie and the girls have reign of the barn and an array of tents just in case they're feeling particularly outdoorsy. Yet, when the time comes, you and your friends sit on the barn's porch and watch Hattie and Cole embrace each other for a long time.

"I change my mind," she tells him. "We should just spend the night together. Let's go to our tree house."

He giggles and gives her a gentle kiss, "Ah, you just wanna get in my pants."

"So?"

A cackle now, "Goodnight, future wife. I love you."

"Noooo!"

"I love you!"

"I love you!"

Hattie waits until he's out of sight, and even then, she stands there and wishes for him to come back.

"H! Come on, honey," your friend calls to her. "It's late. Big day tomorrow!"

So she reluctantly walks up the stairs and begins the process of unwinding. It's not easy. Every second something pops into her mind and she hops up, ready to spring into action. It's a group effort to reel her in. Eventually, it's just you and her, lying in a cozy bed and she can barely keep her eyes open. She's trying though.

"Okay," you sigh. "I should probably get going. You gonna be alright?"

She nods, "I'm getting married..."

You grin, "Yes, ma'am. You are. So you need to get some rest," you kiss her forehead and rise out of bed, groaning as you straighten yourself up. "You need anything?”

"Mm-mm," she shakes her head. "I'm okay. See you in the morning."

"See you in the morning."

You're one of the few who chose to rough it in a tent for the night. There's a small heater and a platform bed. It's not a whole lot but the bedding is comfortable. You snuggle in and despite all your exhaustion, you spend the next chunk of time scrolling on your phone. When you hear a faint knock on the scaffolding of your tent, you’re suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you're in the middle of the woods. Alone. Quite a distance between you and the next tent. You sit up slowly, unsure if your mind is playing tricks on you. You take timid steps towards the opening and flinch as a shadow passes by.

You hesitantly pull down the zipper and when you see Matthew wondering around, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Fuck, dude. You scared the crap out of me."

"I'm so sorry," he instantly returns and lowers himself down to your level. "I didn't mean to."

"Um..you do know this is the bridal side of the property, right?"

"Mhm. I was looking for you."

"Me?"

"Mhm. Wanna go for a walk?"

"A walk?"

"Yeah, with me?"

"With you?"

"Okay, just assume I mean everything I say from now on."

You giggle, "I just met you a few hours ago...you want me to walk some random trail with you in the middle of the night?"

"All true, yes."

You tilt your head at him, "Fine. Okay."

"Don't sound too excited."

You turn around briefly to grab a hoodie. You throw it on and step out of the opening, taking Matthew's hand as you step off the platform. He takes your hand and he doesn't let go. He'd hate to lose you in the dark.

“So,” he says as you start down the trail. Your face is gently illuminated by the lights along the pathway and he can’t stop staring. “How do you know Hattie?”

“Technically high school, but I think we were separated at birth.”

He chuckles, “Best friends, huh?”

“Oh, best friends. Went to college together, too. Lived together for a while, didn’t kill each other.”

“That’s rare.”

“I know. I don’t see her nearly as often as I’d like but that’s my girl. How do you know Cole?”

“Drama camp.”

You stop in your tracks, stop both of you in your tracks. Still, Matthew doesn’t let go of your hand. “Drama camp?”

“Yes? You didn’t know Cole was a theater kid?”

You continue walking but your face is absolutely flabbergasted. “Cole? Finance bro Cole? A theatre kid? You’re fucking with me.”

“Oh, I am not. He was quite good actually,” he laughs. “He could’ve been a star.”

“Wow…” you shake your head. “Wow. You think you know someone.”

“And then you find out he was in a summer production of Fiddler on the Roof.”

You stop again. You feel like you could fall to your knees. “Matthew. Please. Please tell me there are pictures.”

“My mom recorded the whole thing, there’s a cassette tape somewhere.”

“Oh my god!” you cackle. “You’ll have to show me.”

“Fly out to Vegas with me at the end of the weekend. I’ll show you all the good stuff.”

“Oh. You’re planning on taking me to your hometown already? To meet your mom and everything?”

“You can meet my mom, you can meet my dad, you can meet my stepparents, you can meet my sister, my brother, her husband, his wife, my nephews.”

“Woah!”

“Oh, they’d love you.”

“I just wanna see Fiddler on the Roof!”

You’re not sure how long you stay out with him. The trail lights make it seem like no time has passed at all. You fill the air with so much chatter that it’s a shock when you loop around to the barn. As you near your tent, Matthew’s steps grow smaller. Slower, following close behind you with your hand still tight in his.

“Well,” he sighs. “Thank you for accompanying me. I was scared to walk alone.”

“Oh, is that why you invited me?”

“I just thought I’d get lost by myself. Needed backup.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “You do seem quite helpless.”

“You have no idea.”

You giggle and as you step up to your tent, you’re not ready to go inside just yet. So you turn to him and he is dangerously close to you. You can feel the heat radiating from his chest.

“Well, I had a nice time,” you smile. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

It’s going to happen. You raise yourself on your toes. He takes a firm hold of your forearms. His nose touches yours. Then you hear the sharp sound of a zipper slashing open. You both flinch and look over to see your friend, poking her head of wild hair out the opening of her tent.

You bashfully step away from Matthew, crossing your arms. “Hi, Gina.”

Gina squints, yawning, “[y/n]?” She rubs her tired eyes and looks at you. Then at Matthew. Then you. Then Matthew. “Uh…what the hell are you two doing?” she smirks.

“Nothing,” you tell her. “Go back to sleep.”

She looks at you. Then Matthew. Then you. You. And she ducks her head back in.

You chuckle shyly and shake your head. Moment’s gone but he still looks pretty under the moonlight.

“It’s late,” you whisper. “I need my beauty sleep.”

He scoffs, “To get even more beautiful?” he shakes his head jokingly as he backs away. “[y/n], that’s just greedy.”

You laugh, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh, yes. You will,” he waves as he walks away. Blowing you a kiss, “Goodnight, [y/n].”

You wait until he's out of sight, and even then, you stand there and wish for him to come back.

“Ahhhh!” Hattie screams once you rise in the morning. You step into the barn, groggy and sluggish, but when you see her rushing towards you, you can’t help but smile. “Hi! Good morning!”

“Good morning, beautiful bride!” you give her a tight hug.

“We’re having a little breakfast. Here’s your mimosa.”

You glance down at the glass, taking it from her hesitantly, “It’s eight in the morning?”

“Hey, everyone has to do what I say today!”

“Okay, okay,” you take a quick sip and she beams, sitting down beside you at the table.

You fill your plate with food and seamlessly fall in conversation. None of it about the wedding, ironically. You have the rest of the day for that. Right now, in this moment, it’s gossip. It’s silly. It’s so relaxing that you don’t even realized you’ve finished your mimosa.

“I thought it was pretty cozy,” Gina shrugs. “Not sure what [y/n] thinks but then again she was out with Matthew all night.”

There is an immediate halt. Forks hitting the plate, a stunned silence falling over the room and all eyes on you.

“You were?” Hattie gasps.

You stutter, “It…wasn’t…all night. We-we just went for a walk.”

“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?” a friend chimes in.

“We went for an actual walk!” you exclaim. “It was nothing.”

“Ohhhh, yeah,” Gina laughs. “It sure looked like nothing when I caught you two making out.”

Instant gasps.

“We did not make out!” you insist. “We didn’t even kiss!”

“H, how do u feel about making this wedding a joint thing?”

You look down, picking at your food as your face burns red and Hattie is just grinning at you.

Across the way, Cole receives a text from his bride, saying: Ask your friend wtf he was doing last night

Cole raises his eyebrows and spots Matthew shaving in the bathroom mirror. He slyly walks in and crosses his arms. He tries his best to be nonchalant, leaning back against the wall, eyeing Matthew in the mirror, “So. You have a good night?”

Matthew furrows his brows at him, “Yeah? Bed was comfortable.”

“Mhm. And…you didn’t…didn’t sneak off anywhere?”

Matthew completely turns his body around, “You and the wife talking about me?”

“My wife and her wife are talking about you, I think.”

He can’t help but smile to himself, “Well…cool…”

Cole laughs, “What’s the plan here, dude?”

“The plan is…to see [y/n] again as soon as humanly possible.”

Cole shakes his head, breaking a smile, “You do know that this is my wedding, right?”

Matthew laughs as he pats his face clean, “Yeah but…I don’t know, I was kinda thinking we could make it a joint thing?”

Once everyone’s hair and makeup is done, it’s silly to you that you have to pretend to do it all for photos. The makeup artist holds her brush to your full glam face just so the photographer can take a shot and it takes everything in you not to laugh. But it’s what the bride wants. You and the girls get into your dresses. You twirl and giggle like a game of dress up. Until Opal announces Hattie’s entrance. Then suddenly it’s very real.

Hattie walks downstairs in her gown, a ballgown specifically. Poofy, but not too big, a corset holding up her breasts, a diamond necklace on her chest to match her earrings. Her hair is put up and curled. Her makeup is done to perfection.

Oh. She is just perfect.

It moves everyone to a fit of squeals but you clasp your hands over your mouth and just stare at her. You go to wipe the tears from your eyes but remember your makeup so you fan your face. She laughs as she walks directly to you and takes you a tight hug. The photographer captures your sobbing face in all it’s glory. Hattie will frame that one for sure.

When Hattie’s dad comes around to escort her to the ceremony site, you take her hands in yours.

“It’s not too late,” you tell her. “We can still run.”

She laughs. “You know…I thought I might for a second there but…nah, I don’t wanna. I wanna marry him.”

You have to shake your head to keep from crying, “Okay. Okay, then let’s get you fucking hitched.”

Guest have arrived. Each chair is full and the forest around them is positively buzzing with excitement. The florals accentuate the atmosphere beautifully and now all that’s missing is the blushing bride.

You walk down the pathway with your friends, each of you holding up your dresses to protect them from the dirt. Your dress is by far the shiniest. Though all of yours are a variation of green patterns, yours is solid and laced with golden glitter tulle. The maid of honor must stand out. Matthew catches sight of you immediately but not just because you’re the maid of honor, not just because you’re shiny. But because it’s you.

And you look amazing.

It’s like everyone and everything around you fades away. Like he’s watching you walk towards him in slow motion. Your hair flowing in the wind, your lips stretching out into a smile just for him. When you step up to him, he has to take a moment because you just smell so good.

“Wowww,” he breathes out. “Look at you.”

You blush, “Look at me? Look at you!” you don’t even think about it, you just touch his clean shaven face. Run your knuckles over the smooth skin and he revels in it, closing his eyes for just a second. “You clean up nice.”

“Thank you. I only do it when absolutely necessary.”

You laugh and lean into him a bit, totally fixated until you notice the other bridesmaids watching you both from the sidelines. You cut your eyes at them and take a step back. You’re grateful when Opal comes in with her iron fist, arranging you all in order and demanding you stay there.

The music starts, you take a deep breath. You gave Matthew’s arm a squeeze, “You remember anything from rehearsal?”

“Nope, not at all. Just winging it.”

There is not much to say about the ceremony itself except that everyone - everyone - is in tears by the end. It is only thirty minutes but after it all, Cole and Hattie are married and nothing has ever felt so right.

Matthew links your arms as you make your exit behind the newlyweds and you can help but laugh at the tears staining his cheeks. You grin as you wipe them away with your thumb.

Pictures.

So many fucking pictures. So many poses. So many arrangements. So many beautiful backdrops to stand in front of and smile and live in awe of the bride and groom. Eventually, Cole and Hattie go off to take their own portraits and unsurprisingly, you wind up eating a plate of hors d'oeuvres with Matthew.

“You know her?” he asks you, nodding his head towards a guest who stays seated, fanning herself with her wedding program.

“Yeah, that’s Mia. We went to college with her.”

“It’s, like, not that hot out here, right? Am I crazy?”

“Asshole,” you swat his arm. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh…oh. Oh, she is?”

“Yes!” you giggle. “You just can’t tell because she chose the poofiest dress to wear today.”

“Oopsie,” he cringes. “Hey, is that something you might consider?”

“Hm?”

“Getting pregnant?”

You nearly choke on your bite of food but promptly clear your throat, “What the fuck? Is that a threat?”

“No. No, it’s an offer,” he grins.

You shake your head at him, ducking your hesd down so he can’t see your heated face. Your smile. “You have your speech prepared?" you ask him.

"Speech?"

"Uh, yeah. Your best man speech?"

"I was supposed to write a speech?" he exclaims.

Your jaw drops in shock and horror and you're dangerously close to scolding him until you see a smirk form on his face.

'That's not funny!"

"Of course I have a speech. You think I'm nuts?"

"Yes!"

"I have a speech prepared that is going to bring absolutely everyone in attendance to tears. They might as well go ahead and pass out the tissues now."

"Oh, real confident there, huh?"

"My speech is gonna kick your speech's ass."

You cackle, "It's not a contest, you freak. We're declaring our love for our best friends and their new spouse!"

"Sounds like you're nervous. Sounds like you can't take the heat."

"What heat? You know what? I'm not doing this with you. I'm gonna deliver my speech and as long as Hattie loves it, I'm content."

He nods, “…bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk."

"Stop it!"

"[y/n]!” you hear from behind you and you whip your head around. Hattie is running up to you, dress lifted, feet fast. "[y/n]!"

You run right to her, catching her in your arms as you collide, "What? What is it? What's wrong? What are you doing? You're supposed to be getting ready for your grand entrance!"

She huffs, catching her breath, "I know. I will. I am, whew..." she catches her breath. "I just had to tell you," she pants. "I just got fucked in my wedding dress!"

"Oh!" you cover your mouth to conceal your burst of laughter. "Oh my god! I thought this was a classy party!"

"Well, we wrote it into the schedule. We even finished with three minutes to spare. Both of us!"

"Oh my god!" you repeat, hunching over in laughter as she runs off.

You and Matthew hadn’t prepared anything especially elaborate for your reception entrance. But the DJ makes the best man and maid of honor sound like such a big deal that you have to do something. Anything. And utimately, he just ends up twirling you around in front of him. Your dress flows through the air, this wide smile on your face and he so casually wraps his arms around you to prevent you from tripping in your heels.

Seriously. Could you two make it any more obvious?

Cole and Hattie are greeted with an uproar of applause and cheers, the photographer right in their faces, an outpour of love coming from all around them. You clap your hands incessantly and right in your ear is Matthew cheering, his hands on your waist, your back against his chest like it’s no big deal.

You sit down to eat with your friends and it’s one big round table of alcohol, gushing, yelling and laughter. Matthew’s called up to give his speech and he makes sure to walk by you on his way up. “Watch and learn,” he whispers.

You shake your head, roll your eyes, but you’re watching him. You’re watching the way he instantly takes control of the room and radiates this light under the night sky. You’ve got to give it to him. It’s a good speech. From beginning to end, it’s captivating. The emotional cadence in his voice ripples across the room and there is actually, literally a box of tissues being passed around.

He’s applauded by every guest and he immediately runs up to Cole and Hattie to give them a tight hug. He walks over to you and holds the microphone out for you, “Beat that.”

You eye him as he walks off and the giddy smile on your face quickly disappears when you make eye contact with Gina. She pinches her fingers and knocks her hands together, puckering her lips and making kissing sounds.

“Stop it,” you whisper.

You’re not as used to the spotlight as Matthew so when you stand up in front of everyone, you freeze for a moment. You struggle to get the words out. It’s not a contest, but you’re already losing. So you look at Hattie, the one person you are doing all of this for. It makes it a lot easier to just, speak your truth, “Hi. I’m [y/n] and Hattie is my very best friend.”

Hattie’s a mess instantly.

That’s the fun part about being the bride’s best friend. You know all the best parts of her relationship. You also know all the worst parts but those don’t need to be spoken today. You know how it’s made her happier, stronger, glow in a way she never thought possible. You know better than anyone that this is where she’s meant to be and who she’s meant to be here with.

She can hardly wait one second after you finish to run up to you and give you a big hug. She squeezes you so tightly that you think she’ll never, ever let you go. You escort her back to the sweethearts table and throw a smug look towards Matthew’s way. He puts his hands up in surrender. You win.

After a while, when the grandparents and kids have left and the hour for the fun adults has arrived, you’re just buzzed enough to dance. And you do. You let Hattie shake her ass on you a bit and for a while, you’re just girls again. No one’s wife, no one’s employee. Just girls. It wears you. You take a seat just to down the rest of your wine and catch your breath.

“You all danced out?” Matthew asks as he approaches you. He holds out his hand, “Or you got one more left in you?”

You tilt your head, drunkenly smirking at him, “I think I can squeeze you in.”

“Yeah?” he pulls you to your feet and into his arms. “Squeeze me into where?”

You giggle. You shamelessly fall into his chest, “Take me to the dancefloor.”

He does, he lead you right to the center. He puts his hands on the small of your back and cradles your hand against his chest. He breathes in the scent of your hair and sighs.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do once I have to part from you tomorrow.”

“Just put me in your pocket,” you whisper. “Take me to the big city.”

He chuckles, pulls you closer, putting your bodies flush together. “I will, in a heartbeat. Just say the word.”

You grin. You stare into those beautiful eyes of his and inhale the center of his chest and exhale with a soft hum, “The word.”

He smiles. You smile. You take a look around and then you two make your exit.

Off to the side, the bride and groom are slow dancing. The rest of the world has faded away. Though their feet are a bit uncoordinated, everything feels properly in place.

“Sooo,” Hattie puts her nose to his. “You’re thinking the same thing I am, right?”

“Thaaaat we have three more minutes of fun time? You wanna go now?”

She cackles, “No! About Matthew and [y/n].”

“Ohhh, right. Them. You were right. I owe you five bucks.”

“Mhm. For the rest of your life.”

He smiles softly, rubbing her back. He looks around the area and furrows his eyebrows, “Where…are Matthew and [y/n]?”

Hattie giggles, singing, “I know where they are.”

“No…” Cole gasps. “No…you think?”

She shakes her head at him. Sweet, dumb Cole. “Oh you are just so cute!” she kisses his nose.

In the solitude of your tent, Matthew stands behind you and slowly unzips your dress. He plants soft kisses on each spot of your skin as it’s revealed and you hum under your breath at the gentle contact. His hands latch onto the thin straps and pull them over your shoulders. He kisses your neck and runs his hands over your chest as he pushes the dress down your body. All that’s left of you is a strapless bra and seamless panties that he sticks his hands in. You step out of them and turn to face him.

You touch his face and look at him with these hooded eyes, smiling softly as you push his jacket off of his shoulders. You undo the buttons on his shirt and touch all over his exposed chest. He nuzzles his nose into yours as you take off his pants and he falls back on the tiny bed, letting you pull them off his legs.

He stretches out his legs but his feet hang off the edge so he bends his knees, “I don’t think I fit,” he chuckles.

You grin as you casually straddle his lap, running your hands over his arms. “We’ll just have to make you fit,” you whisper.

He gives you the faintest little whimper, leaning in to you with his mouth open. And just like you had meant to last night, finally, you kiss him. You kiss him. You touch his tongue to yours and place your hand on his throat, engulfing his entire mouth in yours. Both of you release these deep, guttural moans and Matthew gasps as you roll your hips on him.

He grips onto your waist, readjusts to get the right angle and you can feel him getting hard between your legs. It's almost juvenile, the way you both get so hot from dry humping. The way your mouths are so hungry that there's no coordination.

There's moments where you go in for his lips and catch his cheek instead and he pushes his face into yours so quickly that he only catches your bottom lip. He goes to grab your hair to keep you in place but he doesn't want to mess it up so he holds the back of your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, take a tight grip of his hair and lean your entire body on his. There, the friction is perfect and you moan directly into his mouth.

Matthew shifts his focus to your jaw, gently nibbling on the skin from your ear to your neck as he unhooks your bra. You whine quietly, rocking your hips against him and leaning your head back to expose your throat. He wants to fucking bite you. He has the quickest impulse to sink his teeth into you but he doesn’t want to leave a mark so his hands land harshly on your ass as he groans in your ear. You gasp, your back arching and you think: fuck this.

You put your hand on his chest and push him back on the bed. He lets you but he whimpers. He wants to be kissing you. Needs to be kissing you. He looks up at you with wide eyes, his jaw dropping when you free his cock from his briefs. He licks his lips, nodding, begging, “Mm…mhm, mhm, mhm, mhm.”

You giggle at him, but that giggle is cut quickly by the ease in which his cock slides into you. You both gasp and he catches you as you fall into his arms. You feel just as good as he thought you would. Better. Even better. You watch his eyes roll to the back of his head and you try to kiss but your mouth are wide open. It’s mainly just heaving breathing and teeth on teeth.

He takes full advantage of the angle in his knees, keeps his hands on your ass to spread you open and push all the way into you. He likes the sound you make so he does it again. Again. Pulling all the way, pushing all the way in. Again, a little deeper. Again, a little harder. Harder and harder until you’re squeaking against each other’s lips uncontrollably, the one thing that’s louder than the sound of his skin slapping into yours.

He looks into your hooded eyes and begs, “Kiss me.”

So you do. You kiss him with a sloppy mouth and once again, there’s no coordination. You’re rocking around the tiny bed so carelessly that it might break. But even then, you wouldn’t stop. It’s hard to breathe. It’s hard to think. You just push yourself back on his cock, meeting him at just the right time that you’re entire body twitches violently.

“N-not…fuck…” you stutter against his lips. “Not…gonna…last…long…like this…mm, fuck.”

And he grins, delighted at the thought of getting you off. So quickly, so easily. Still, he pleads, “Oh…” he bucks his hips up into you. “Can’t we just…m-make it last forever? P-please…please, please, please…”

You shut him up with another kiss. You grab onto his hair and grind on him eagerly, chasing your high for what feels exactly like forever. The way the tension builds first in your thighs and then your belly and radiates throughout your entire body, you can hardly comprehend it. You tighten your grip on his hair and breathe out, “Matthew.”

“[y/n],” he breathes out and it sounds so helpless that you can only reply with a whimper. You increase your speed, your rhythm becomes sloppy but Matthew is rock solid. He cups your face in his hands and repeats, “[y/n].”

“O-oh, fuck. Oh…god…” you latch onto his wrists. You can’t take it anymore, “Mm…” and you come on his cock with a loud and visceral moan straight from the back of your throat. The way your pussy tightens around him has him matching your volume and the kiss you give him is so dirty that he will taste it for weeks.

He doesn’t stop. He fucks you through it until your body is all but convulsing. He only stops to prevent himself from coming inside of you, instead raising your hips to shoot his load all over his stomach. His knees tense up and tighten against you as the weakest groans escape his lips. You hum softly to yourself and you lower yourself down the mattress, licking the mess off his stomach as you make your way back to his lips. He’s stunned but rewards you with a kiss. He wishes the kiss could last forever. He tries his best to make it so.

But you crash on his chest, panting loudly and allowing your body to finally relax. Your head rises and falls with every heavy breath he takes.

“Let’s get married,” he huffs and you laugh, sitting up to look at him. “No?”

“Mm-mm,” you shake your head.

“Ugh…worth a shot.”

It’s so peaceful. A calm after a storm - a hurricane. Until your phone illuminates the dark space and you reach over his body to check the text. It’s from Hattie -

As soon as youre both done, my husband and i would like to make our outro! :)

“Oh, shit!” you exclaim and that’s all Matthew needs to hear.

You both hop up at lightening speed. You somehow get dressed even quicker. You rush out of the tent, nearly tripping over your feet, hand in hand.

“Wait,” Matthew says and when you pause to look at him, he fixes the clip in your hair and then he gives you a kiss. You look back at him with a smile as you run back to the reception.

You catch Hattie and Cole just in time. They are already lined up and ready to go when you two reappear. Matthew grabs Cole’s shoulder and laments, “Sorry about that, dude. I-I got caught up. Sorry.”

“Oh yeah,” Cole smirks as he keeps walking. “I can tell. Your jacket’s on inside out.”

After Matthew remedies that, you two casually clap and cheer as the newlyweds walk through the crowd of excitement. They promptly load themselves up on a golf cart and you watch them disappear into the night.

Matthew sighs, turning to you, “So…I guess our jobs are done for the night.”

You sigh in return, shrugging, “I guess so.”

“You gonna be lonely in that tent tonight?”

“God...” you shake your head. “I hope not.”

And that night, you are far, far from lonely in that tent.

You wake up together. Matthew made himself fit in that bed once again. You get dressed together. You both clean up the tent and step out together. And once again, there’s Gina, catching you in the act. She doesn’t say anything. But when she walks past you two, the tiny smile on her face says it all.

Back at the reception site, Hattie and Cole serve a light breakfast and deliver a toast that is short and sweet. Blah blah blah, thank you all for coming. Blah blah blah, we love you so much. Blah blah blah, we have a plane to Cabo to catch. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!

They go around to say their goodbyes and while Cole is distracted, Hattie intentionally saves you for last. She gives you a long hug, “Missed you last night.”

“Yeah, uh…” you blush. “I am so sorry about that.”

“Oh no, don’t be,” she gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “It all went according to plan.”

“To-“ you stutter. “Hattie Jane Welsh…”

“Aht-aht!” she grins as she walks away from you to join her husband. She flashes her rings, “Hattie Jane Briggs. I already changed it on instagram and facebook!”

You jaw is dropped in absolute shock and you can’t pick it up. In fact, your mouth is still wide open when Matthew approaches you.

“So, pretty lady, what are you doing after this?” he asks.

“Got a train to catch back home.”

“Oh, a train? How far is the drive?”

“About an hour.”

“I have an hour…” he says. “And a rental car.”

A sweet smile spreads across your face. He mirrors it right back to you. You take hold of your suitcase, step over to him, stand straight up and wrap your hand around his bicep. You’ve had a lot of practice.

“Okay,” you nod. “Let’s go.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

In honor of the season, what are holidays like in the spirit world? Have they been infected by Christmas yet? I imagine they inherit some popular ones from the world of the living, but also the unique holidays of the afterlife must be wild.

You come to me, on the eve of the High Holiday of Halloween, and ask me about Christmas??

I'm kidding, you're asking about holidays in general but my unsuspecting Agnostic Ass just got jumpscared by Mariah Carey, and I'm sensitive. It's not the season. Not for another 48 hours at least. Do Not Violate The Sacred Treaty.

.

..

...

Anyway, this ended up in my drafts for a few days, so: Christianity has not really gotten a foothold in soul society, but via cultural osmosis "Xmas" has. Nobody in a Shinto afterlife believes in monotheism, but they love a holiday and a Saint is practically a Kami anyway, but.... It's "Xmas" because the holiday in no way remotely resembles Christmas as practiced in the living world.

---

Scene: 4th Division hospital, a few days after Rukia is rescued and Aizen departed for Las Noches:

"-CHAD!!" Ichigo bellows, almost falling in through the doorway of the hospital room, wheezing.

"I am very sure you are not supposed to be out of bed." Chad frowned, looking up from the copy of the history of soul society Captain Komamura had lent him to read while he recovered.

It was strange, to be in the care of the very people he had thought to be senseless killers not two weeks ago, but he was finding the Shinigami a generally agreeable lot. Even if the captain that controlled the hospital reminded him unpleasantly of a nun with her chaste dress, soft voice and understated but constant threat of violence.

"YOU NEED YO HEAR THIS-! He- hee-" Ichigo stumbled over to his bed and curled up on his side overcome with giggles.

"... I'm beginning to think I am incorrect." Sighed the pale-haired man at the door, frowning down at Ichigo.

"Jushiro Ukitake, I don't think I've had the pleasure of your acquaintance yet, Mr.-?" The man introduced himself and offered Chad a hand.

"Uh. Yasutora. Sado Yasutora. But everyone calls me Chad." He mumbled, cautiously shaking hands with the stranger. "You're um. You're Miss Rukia 's boss, right?"

"Yes! I believe you are her friend with the pet parakeet and good throwing arm, yes?" Ukitake beamed at him and Chad was suddenly struck by the idea that he'd seen Ukitake at a family reunion before - Impossible, obviously, but the man had the intense aura of a distant uncle. "Good show that, she loves being hurled at an opponent!"

"Oh. Thank you." Chad mumbled, Ichigo finally catching his breath. "...What are you incorrect about?"

"Christmas, apparently." Ukitake frowned, and Ichigo dissolved into snickering again. "He says you're something of an expert on the actual mythology, I only have third-hand accounts, you see-"

"No!" Gasped Ichigo, reaching over to tug at Mr. Ukitake's sleeve. "You gotta tell him!"

"I am Catholic, yes." Chad nodded. "-go on. It can't be less accurate than the version Dr. Kurosaki- Uh, Ichigo's dad- gave me last year."

"Yeah it can-" Ichigo wheezed.

"Well, ah- Christmas is a birthday celebration for an important religious figure, right?" Ukitake tried.

"Yep!" Chad nodded, giving Ukitake a thumbs up.

"The birth of Rudolph, the Star-nosed reindeer?" Ukitake tried.

Chad stared at him blankly for a moment, before his thumbs-up slowly wilted into a thumbs down and Ichigo vibrated silently with hysterics. Chad opened and closed his mouth a few times, hand waving, then covered his mouth, searching for words. Eventually he reached out and gently put his hand on the captain's shoulder to explain as delicately as possible-

"...No." Said Chad.

Ichigo rolled off the bed with a dull thud.

"-I am, however, fascinated." Chad elaborated. "Please continue."

"...I'm really sorry that I am this ignorant of your religious dogma." Ukitake winced.

"It's- don't worry about it. Tell me what you think happens on Rudolph's birthday." Chad said, sitting back and pressing his hands together.

"Well- oh, how does it start? Right- there's the Monks- Saints? that give out presents to well-behaved children during the winter holidays- Saint Claus, Saint Nicolas and Saint Kringle. And they're all very old men, and with good judgement about who does and does not deserve presents, so they're called the three wise men!"

Ichigo made a noise like a teakettle from the floor.

"Oh. Oh no." Chad giggled.

"And they travel the entire world giving out presents, but that's A Lot of houses and it was taking them longer and longer so they prayed to... I forget the name Catholics have for Amaterasu. Guadalupe?"

Chad made a noise not unlike a violently squeezing a rubber duck, and started to shake.

"-So they pray for some help getting all the presents to the children, and Whoever She Is says they're doing good deeds, but she wants to see if they're REALLY worthy of that kind of miracle, so she sends them on a journey to recover some lost holy treasures, and on the way each of the holy men wrestles with and tames a demon representing some vice or another-"

"-I. I think you've gotten the Star of Bethlehem mixed up with The Journey West." Chad realized, hands pressed together in front of his face.

"Yes that's right! She marks the direction they're supposed to be going with a bright star! So they go West, following the star! "-Ok the three wise men traveling from the east following a star part is, in fact, accurate. What's this about demons?"

"It's some sort of allegory about how all the Saints are virtues so the demons represent the vices people fall into around the holiday- Being punitive or penurious and ruining good things for others. They all had weird names-" Ukitake frowned.

"What's going on?" Captain Kyorauku asked, sticking his head in the door.

"You'll know!" Ukitake chirped with excitement. "-What are the three demons the saints conquer in the Christmas myth?"

"Krampus the Child-beater, Scrooge the Miser, and... Ah fuck I always mispronounce the last one. He's green and he sucks? The Goonch?" Shunsui frowned.

"THE GOONCH?" Ichigo shrieked from the floor.

"I. I think you mean The Grinch." Chad said, experiencing a brand new combination of horror, delight and fascination that felt like the emotional equivalent of a shrimp color.

"That's him! Oscar The Grinch!" Shunsui nodded. "Why, its only August? Also, what's Kurosaki doing on the floor?

"We are apparently very misninformed about the mythlogical origins of Christmas. This amuses Kurosaki to the point of hysterics." Ukitake explained, lightly nudging Ichigo aside with his foot and sitting on the foot of Chad's bed.

"Your version is so much better." Chad said, vibrating with excitement. "What are these treasures they're supposed to get?"

"Oh you had to ask- Shunsui love, you were the one that heard it all from Captain Kuchiki when he did his tour in the living world."

"Oh for fuckssake of course it's Byakuya-" Ichigo groaned from the floor, and Ukitake gently kicked him in the ribs to shush him.

"Uhhhh... Let's see-" Shunsui scratched at his beard."There's Eight Lost Treasures, they're all magical bells that give anyone who rings them supernatural abilities- there's the Bell of Speed, Bell of Grace, Bell of Balance, Bell of Cunning, Bell of... ah fuck. I always forget the two in the middle... -Oh! Bell of destination- not like fate, like, always being able to find your way to where you're going. Bell of Affection, Bell that gives power over wind and Bell that gives power over lighting!"

Chad blinked at him, then slowly crumpled into a ball.

"...Mr. Yasutora?" Ukitake asked, gently touching his shoulder.

"This is amazing. I love it. I'm going to die." he whimpered, voice high and tight as he struggled to breathe from laughing.

"We may have already lost Mr. Kurosaki." Shunsui muttered, poking Ichigo's shoulder with his toe. "Anyway, they conquer the demons, get all the magical bells and make it to the distant city, aand Amaterasu says 'Great job!" Ukitake continued, enthusiastic as they approached his favorite part. "-But she says 'Here's your final test: I'm going to give a special gift to one of these creatures, you tell me which is the most deserving of my favor.' and then she turns them loose in some kind of farm with talking animals. They're all good and noble animals that have done many brave deeds- dogs saved children from drowning, horse that ran across a battlefield to deliver a message that stopped a war and so on- eventually the saints find a brand new baby fawn with a bright red nose. Since it was born just that morning, it's never done anything of note, and the other animals don't really like it because it's red nose means its kind of sickly and it cant see well so they don't want to play with it."

"YES!" Chad cheered, making the connection.

"Oh, that part is right?" Ukitake perked up.

"Not even remotely, but it's amazing. They pick the fawn right?

"That's right! The saints tell Amaterasu that the Baby deer Rudolph is the one that deserves her blessing, because while all the animals here are noble and good, no good deed is better than another, and of all the animals, the sickly little deer is the one that really needs her help."

"Oh no." Ichigo whimpered from the floor. "That's actually like. genuinely heartwarming."

"Amaterasu applauds them, because they've made the right choice, and she gives the power of the star to the baby deer so it very literally glows like a headlight, and She turns the eight magical bells into a herd of deer that all have the powers the bells they were made from had, so Rudolph has a family and the three wise men have a team of nine magical deer to pull the flying sleigh she gives them, and then they are able to deliver all the presents to all the children of the world in one night, and they do it every year on Rudolph's birthday, because he was the first one to receive a proper Christmas present!" Ukitake finished, giving Chad an excitable two thumbs up.

Chad, slowly tipped forward, faintly hissing with silent laughter, then rolled off the bed to join Ichigo on the floor. Ukitake peered after him with concern, until chad slowly raised a weak, shaking hand up to give Ukitake a thumbs up back.

"-What I can't figure is how the bucket of fried chicken fits into all that?" Shunsui pondered, and the boys shrieked with laughter.

[gottaluvharry]

family

carlos sainz jr x pregnant!reader

summary: your son has a few questions about why his little sister is in your belly, and carlos is happy to explain

———————————

Lazy mornings with your little family were your favorite. You smiled to yourself as you woke to the hushed whispers of your husband and your son. As you turn to face the other side of the bed, you’re met with 2 pairs of brown puppy dog eyes and 2 identical smiles.

“Buenos dias, mama!” good morning mom your son screeched, proud of himself for using Spanish. “Buenos dias baby” you say through a smile. He latches on to your neck and you feel Carlos’ hand rubbing patterns on your stomach. “Morning hermosa” beautiful he says going in for a kiss. “How is little girl?” he asks. “Sleeping I think. She must be tired after all the kicking she did last night” you groan, recalling the many hours you were woken due to the relentless kicking in your stomach. “lo lamento, se amable con mami” i’m sorry, be nice to mommy he says leaning to talk to his unborn daughter. You just laugh and shake your head at the pout he has on his face, guiding him up by his chin to give him another kiss.

“Papa,” your little boy starts, breaking you and Carlos apart. “How did baby get in mommy’s belly?” he asks as he puts his hand over Carlos’ on your stomach. “Well hijo” son Carlos starts. “Me and mommy love each other, and we made your sister together because we love each other” he says, hoping it’s enough to settle your sons curiosity. “Like when you and mommy make pancakes together?” he asks, now moving to sit in his fathers lap. “No, not like when we make pancakes” he laughs. “He is just made out of love, baby. When 2 people love each other so much and want a little baby like you, they will make one. That’s all I can tell you” he says, avoiding a heavier subject. “But mommy, did it hurt when baby went in your tummy?” he now turns to you with fear in his eyes over the thought of you hurting. “No buddy it didn’t hurt” you assure him, ruffling his hair; but you don’t miss the smirk Carlos sends your way remembering the night in question. “So why does baby stay in mommy’s belly for so long?” he asks, now turning to look at Carlos for the answer. “That’s just where they grow buddy. Babies need lots of space to grow and the only place there is enough room is in a mommy’s tummy” he responds. “Oh” he hums, taking in all the information he’s learning. “But how does baby come out?” he goes on, his eyes lighting up when he gets another question. “When he is ready to come out me and Mommy will go to the hospital and the doctors will help her come out” Carlos answers. “But does it hurt?” your son asks, once again scared of you being hurt. “Only a little bit” you say, “but it is worth it because then we get to hold your little sister”.

As your son continues asking questions and Carlos continues tracing patterns across your stomach, you can’t help but smile at the little life you’ve created. Who knew one bed could hold so much love on a random morning.

—————————————

hope you guys enjoyed this short little blurb:) sorry it’s been so long since i’ve posted, there was a lot going on and then i started school but in honor of Carlos’ birthday AND pole today i figured i’d post something!! might clear my drafts out and post some more in the next week or so<3

also my inbox is open, so request anything if you have any ideas! or if you just want to talk to someone, feel free!

okay last thing, thank you all for the support, it’s so special to me to have people with the same interests reading and liking my work, i want to give you all hugs<333

[peachsayshi]

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ being wrapped in your arms feels like coming home ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

wc: 1,820

minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.

notes: here is a little drabble in honor of toji's birthday! this piece was originally titled as "adoration" but I changed it to this instead. I'm taking a small posting break, but I'll be back to my regular schedule within a week! I'm sorry if I haven't been responding to tags or messages, but I will do so soon <3 I hope you're all having a wonderful time and I'm sending all my well wishes out to you! xo

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: widow toji; age gap (reader is 30 while toji is in his early 40s); a little angsty; toji attempting to break up with you but failing because he's oh so in love

toji overstayed his welcome which was only supposed to last the scorching heat of summer, but he found himself lingering through the quiet stillness of fall. winter came in with a brisk chill and gloomy skies, and that's when toji knew it was time for him to end things with you.

he’s lost interest far quicker in previous relationships. they served their purpose of healing over the wound in his heart, of soothing away the ache of loneliness. he oftens forgets that he was once a loyal, loving husband whenever he abandons yet another fling.

the difference, however, is he at least had the guts to verbally cut things off before.

fucking pathetic, he thinks as he scolds himself. he's been a coward, reducing his actions to disappearing before the sunlight peeks through the horizon, and avoiding any chance of waking you up. he ensures that he is never there to see the way your brows furrow with concern when your hand meets the cold pillow, because otherwise he would falter in his attempt to escape.

this has been going on for over two weeks now but last night was the first time you've actually snapped at his cold, detached behavior. he approached the argument with nonchalance to wither you down, shrugging off the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach and then walking out halfway through the fight.

he stayed at a motel thinking that maybe you have finally taken the hint that he's done.

he arrives back to his apartment only to be met with unfamiliar silence. the entrance of his home is dark and lifeless, and it's so quiet he can even hear a pin drop. there's a tightness in his chest, followed by a wave of disappointment that runs over him like a feverish shiver.

despite his hard headed decision, he's still anticipating on hearing your lovely voice to greet him as he walks through the door.

he knows it's selfish.

toji expected many things to happen after last night's fight. he figured the reaction to him leaving you (again) would be far bigger. a screaming phone call or a string of cursing text messages to call him out on his shitty behavior.

after all he deserves it for acting like an insufferable asshole.

he tries to swallow his guilt but it remains lodged in his throat when he acknowledges that this might actually be the end. 

the expression on his features falls.

it’s better this way, he consoles, dragging his feet across the floor to approach his kitchenette. he shrugs off his beaten up, oversized coat and tosses it over one of the chairs. he opens one of the cupboards, and grabs a mug to prepare himself a cup of tea.

she’s too young to settle for a guy like me, he continues. widowed with two kids who he barely sees anymore, working paycheck to paycheck just to make ends meet…

a deadbeat.

he exhales, swirling his brew in his ceramic cup. the aroma of sweet leaves dances up the spiral of steam to kiss his nose.

she deserves more than me.

he places the kettle down but stares at the cup mindlessly, losing all train of thought as his hands grip onto the edge of the counter. 

he can acknowledge that his insecurities are clouding his judgement on something truly special, even though this was only ever meant to be purely physical.

except, the sex was growing more intimate. the experience wasn't about pleasure for him anymore. he would find himself losing all focus to the depth of your pretty eyes, stealing kiss after kiss like your mouth was the source of where all his happiness belongs.

belonged.

belonged.

it’s over now, he thinks again. it has to be.

a faint patter of footsteps distracts him, prompting him to ease his hold on the counter as the muscles on his face relax. his heart steadies itself, and he draws in a breath when he feels two arms delicately twine around his waist.

“you’re...still here...” he points out in shock. 

he feels you press your forehead into his back. “of course, where else would I be?” 

he clears his throat to release the guilt then spins on his heel to face you.

"I thought you might have taken off," he bluntly states as he rests his lower back against the counter.

his heart swells, emanates flurries of golden sparks when he meets your gorgeous irises. the will to carry on with his decision crumbles when he catches the corner of your mouth tick into a slight grin.

"I thought about it," you reply casually, loosening your grip to place your palms flat on the side of his stomach. "but the truth is I'm worried about you and I just…want to talk things out…make sure you're okay...”

“I’m the one acting like a jerk and you’re worried about me?” he blurts.

you quirk your brow at the slip of his question. “so, you know you’re acting like a jerk?”

toji’s eyes widen slightly, a hint of pink tainting his cheek. “I asked the question first.”

you purse your lips playfully, aware of the crack that's been revealed and ready to swing once again with another blow.

“it’s because you’re acting like a jerk that I’m worried about you,” you explain, “you’re not yourself when you’re unsettled about something…”

his face warms, the hue of pink deepening into a stronger blush. the familiarity of pointing out his personal traits feels all too homely. seven months shouldn’t feel like a forever but in this bubble with you time ceases to exist.

you trail the pads of your finger tips up his torso, your hands clasping around the back of his neck as you press all your soft and sweet parts right up against the frame of his body.

the brush of your lips on his scar prompts him to flutter his eyes close. he fails to stop himself from holding you then, his firm hands reaching for the outline of your waist

“so,” you murmur with a tempting kiss as you return to your question, “you know you’re acting like a jerk then?”

please don’t make me say it, he thinks, please don’t make me unravel right in front of your eyes.

he squeezes your side, whispering a defeated “listen…”

“did I do something wrong?” you question, a hint of pain laced through every vowel which only makes his heart ache further. “did something happen?”

toji shakes his head.

“it’s not you,” he grumbles. “look, you asked me a couple of weeks ago if this thing between us was serious and…it shouldn’t be.”

you narrow your gaze, tilting your head with adorable confusion that makes toji want to kiss you right there on the spot.

he can feel you pluck at the fabric of his sweater nervously, “why not?”

toji drops his head and sighs.

“c’mon, doll, let’s be real. I’ve got nothing to give you other than a good fuck in this shitty apartment. you're better off finding someone else and I don't want to waste your time”

you press your mouth into a firm line. “your behavior…” you reply, nipping your bottom lip slightly as you gather your thoughts. “are you acting like this because you…want to end things with me?”

toji has never felt smaller. you’ve reduced him into a shriveled pea rolling around his scuffed up boot. “look, it’s better this way, alright?” he admits with a raise of his head, still refusing to outwardly say what you easily deduced. “it's better to move on before things get too complicated…”

the silence hangs heavy in the air, the tension so thick toji feels like he can’t breathe properly. his heart rattles with no restraint, and he finds himself suddenly lightheaded. an apology rests on the tip of his tongue, ready to take back everything he just bombarded you with but his throat simply tightens once more when your hands cradle his strong jaw.

“I like your apartment,” you quietly speak, “your bed sheets always smell so good, and you fixed the water pressure after I complained that it sucked…”

toji blinks back his surprise.

“I also notice that you burn the candle that I got you and that you switched laundry detergents when your old one gave me that weird rash,” you giggle and toji couldn’t help but huff out an embarrassed laugh himself. “the windows let in the best kind of sunlight, and it’s always so cozy in here…”

you press your lips against his mouth to leave a chaste kiss, “as for the company…” you add on, nuzzling the tip of your nose over his, “I consider you more than just a good fuck.”

toji can physically feel himself wilting underneath the heat of your gaze. “I’m just looking out for you, doll.”

"you can look out for me by making me breakfast instead of running away from me..."

he looks serious but his eyes are sincere, holding a level of tenderness that he only reserves for you. his palm moves to seek out your lower back, a hint of pressure pulling you back into his warmth.

your lover has stayed tight lipped about his past, but over his period with you he's found himself spilling out a few secrets here and there.

"I haven't done this in a long time," he vulnerably admits.

"I know," you reassure him, "but...the real question is, do you want this?"

he parts his lips ready to seal the last nail in the coffin, ready to give you the chance to walk out of his life for good. but you're gazing up at him from underneath your eyelashes, your determined stare an opening of your own mercy. your plush, supple lips summoning his cowardice into oblivion.

"toji?"

his breath hitches, his apprehension silenced by the urgency of his desire.

you're so lovely, he thinks. you feel like home.

"I want you," he reveals, his deep voice smoky and untethered, releasing enough sentiment in those three words that he can feel you tremble in his arms. "I just don't deserve you. I don't want you getting caught up in my bullshit..."

""you're a lot sweeter than you look, you know?" you run your fingers through the streaks of his black hair, combing it back to reveal his forehead. "you deserve to be happy, toji, and...and I think I can make you happy..."

your aura beams with delight when he flashes you a wolfish grin in return. a smile you've grown to adore so deeply. his apology comes in the form of a kiss, one that's gentle and slow. a stroke of fire burns up the back of your neck, making you quiver in places when he glides his tongue across yours. you hum softly into his lips while he releases a content sigh, the barrier he's been keeping up turns to ashes beneath your feet.

[itsjustaninchident]

Baked with Love

Carlos Sainz x baker!reader

summary: where everyone is just obsessed with yn's pastries or where carlos is jealous because everybody seem to be obsessed of yn and her pastries.

warning/s: none

author's note: just a sudden burst of imagination. Anyway please let me know of what you think of it. It would be nice to hear some feedbacks! ❤️

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 764,084 others

yourusername baking a little something

view 452 comments...

carlossainz55 I don't think I can finish all of that, mi amor

yourusername who says they're for you?

user1 HELP

user2 NOT YN HUMBLING CARLOS DOWN

landonorris did u make some for me yn?

yourusername kids shouldn't consume too much sweets

user3 I LOVE YN OMG😭

user4 not yn humbling them both😭

user5 I LOVE YN SO MUCH SHE JUST BAKES AND PUT CARLOS IN HIS PLACE

user6 DOES CARLOS REALIZED HOW BAD OF A BITCH YN IS

user7 RIGHT? HE BETTER WIFE HER UP

liked by carlossainz55 and 234 others

user8 NOT HIM LIKING THE COMMENT

user9 he better get the hint

user10 he should because i will do my best to steal yn!

scuderiaferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, and 422, 054 others

scuderiaferrari what a way to start the race week in the ferrari hospitality! thank you for these delicious cookies yourusername! we might have to add these to the menu next race week!

view 2,320 comments...

user1 THAT LOOKS SO GOOD

user2 i might have to disguise myself as a ferrari staff to get my hands on those cookies

user3 count me in!

user4 gonna sneak in the ferrari hospitality for the cookies

yourusername you better not f up the strategy or no more cookies!

user5 she's so real for this

user6 i do believe the cookies will work like a charm

user7 she's just like us😭

redbullracing what do we have to do to get a taste of the cookies? 👀

yourusername maybe if you let carlossainz55 through I will consider

user8 I LOVE HER YOUR HONOR

user9 SHE'S SO😭

carlossainz55

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 893,434 others

carlossainz55 no better way to celebrate your birthday than your girlfriend baking your cake! I love you, mi amor. ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view 4,239 comments...

yourusername i love you too! you're stuck with me and my pastries 🥰

carlossainz55 wouldn't have it any other way❤️

user1 IM SO SINGLE

user2 ME WHEN

user3 suddenly i wanna be a bird on the race track and just be ran over

landonorris ew couple

carlossainz55 kids are not allowed here

user4 not lando being their honorary child

scuderiaferrari happy birthday to our smooth operator!

charlesleclerc happy birthday mate! You better leave some cake for us

landonorris he better be

danielricciardo yourusername please sneak some in the paddock next race

carlossainz55 this is for me only!

yourusername there's plenty enough for you all stop fighting like kids

user5 YN AND HER BAKED GOODS

user6 CAN YOU GIVE US SOME TOO YN

liked by yourusername and 23 others

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo, and 694,903 others

yourusername it is definitely a challenge to bake a lot of cookies😅

view 3,345 comments...

carlossainz55 I'm so hurt that I don't get to keep it all

landonorris stop gatekeeping yn's cookies!

user1 oh to be carlos sainz, who literally tastes everything yn bakes before anyone else😭

user2 one day there will be a get together at carlos and yn's house for the drivers because of how good yn's baking is.

user8 I will be waiting for that

charlesleclerc I will enter the paddock early, last time everybody finished it and there's nothing left for me

lewishamilton roscoe thinks the cookies are good, can he please have some?

yourusername roscoe can have as much as he wants!

user3 NOT LEWIS USING HIS DOG TO GET SOME COOKIES

user4 sir there is a line!

user5 sir please go to the back we're all waiting here

lilymhe please give me some🥺

yourusername i will never forget to give you some bae❤️

carlossainz55 life is really unfair

user6 how is carlos surviving this? he literally has so much competitors for yn's pastries

user7 i mean can u blame them she's literally the sweetest girl ever🥺

carlossainz55

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 1,023,649 others

carlossainz55 you get to taste the baked goodies but I get to taste the baker😉

view 73,394 comments...

user1 HE'S HERE TO REMIND US OF OUR PLACE😭

user2 IM SO SINGLE

user3 i hate it here

user4 why can't single people be left in peace

landonorris get off my timeline

carlossainz55 get off instagram then

yourusername you can just tell me you want tiramisu no need to make a post 😉

user5 MOTHER

carlossainz55 you know me so well, my love

user6 YN SO REAL

user7 IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE CAPTION😭

user8 IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?

user9 not the smooth operator for nothing

please send me requests of any scenario with a driver ❤️ I'd love to make them on my free time.

[holdinbacksecrets]

your writing makes me feel safe, thank you. if i could request something? it’s totally ok if you aren’t comfortable but i was wondering how you think seventeen would react seeing their s/o’s self harm scars? but not the act of doing it; i’ve just been feeling a bit unworthy because of my own from my past and my mind wandered (but absolutely no worries if this is out of your comfort zone. i know self harm scars can be a trigger for sure (and you don’t have to reply in that case either)) <3 thank you either way

thank you for sharing kind words and requesting! i'm sorry for taking over a year to answer this... hopefully you still see this >.< i also hope my interpretation of your request is ok. sending you all my love 🥺 i hope you’ve been feeling better these days. you’re deserving of all the good things

seventeen: seeing your self harm scars for the first time

tw: mentions of self harming (no details of the act itself) and scars

seungcheol: he’d trace them with his lips, allowing his love to sink into the scars and caress their edges. he’d ask if they still hurt—if the memories are still piercing

jeonghan: “you turned your scar into a butterfly?” “yeah, it always made sense to get a tattoo, and it’s a reminder that pain and discomfort are fleeting. i’m never stuck.” “you’ve always had a thing for flying, haven’t you?” “yoon jeonghan, i’d exchange my arms for wings if i could.” “you’ll need me for so much more than reaching things on the highest shelf.” “you’re right… not the most practical idea.”

joshua: walks with you through the park after seeing the small x on the kitchen calendar, marking the passage of another year, and the feeling is overwhelming as painful memories flood your mind

jun: “so these aren’t from a bike wreck?” “i can’t believe you remember that…” “everything you tell me… i can’t forget anything.” “it was only our second date. i didn’t want to scare you away.” “you wouldn’t have, but i understand why you worried. i wish you didn’t have to.” “what do you think you would’ve said? would’ve thought?” “i would’ve admired you. i can’t imagine that’s an easy thing to share with anyone, let alone a person you just started dating. i would’ve felt honored that you trusted me with something so… intimate, something that leaves room for conclusions being made that you aren’t in control of.”

soonyoung: he asks if you’re ok now and immediately wonders if that was too simplistic of a question, but he means it. he wants to know if you wake up and feel peace or dread. he wants to know about the cracks in your smile. he wants to know if you’re proud of yourself now. if you were before. if he can do anything to make the dreadful moments with forced smiles easier

wonwoo: thank you for being here is the last thing you hear before drifting off, carried away by a current of warm dreams

jihoon: he cries for you and his childhood friend with similar scars. a man he hasn’t seen in years but thinks about the last week of every october—reminded of his birthday, hoping he’s celebrating well

seokmin: he holds you. he doesn’t want to let go until his tears have stopped. he doesn’t want you to know that the thought of you harming yourself pierces his heart, stops his breath, stays heavy on his shoulders, and keeps him awake while you sleep

mingyu: he wants you to know that no feeling you meet will ever scare him away. you don’t need the reminder, but he tells you anyway: you can always come to me. he will be your solid ground, the maker of comforting words and sweet distractions

minghao: will you believe him if he says you’re the strongest person he knows?

hansol: he doesn’t know what to say, and he’s suddenly afraid of his ability to support you. he hopes you can’t tell because this moment isn’t about him. the last thing he’d ever want is for you to turn to another if he’s unable to give you what you need. “it’s ok. you don’t have to have the perfect words. they don’t exist. i just want you to know. i’m so much better now. i’ve never been happier, truly, but the words were starting to itch and pull me out of present moments. summer’s coming, and i know you’ll see them soon. i just want you to know.”

seungkwan: so many questions roll around in his head. they stick to the back of his throat, and he searches your eyes for any signs of the capacity you have for sharing in this moment. you smile softly and offer a nod of encouragement. he takes a deep breath and asks the first one

chan: “do you ever…” “think about doing it again? i do, but i made a list of things to do instead.” “can i hear it?” “make tea, watch the sky, turn music on, call a friend, think about something yummy to make for my next meal, ride the train and stop as close as i can get to the library… i have a playlist of seventeen videos on my phone too.” “you’ve thought about it that recently? y/n…” “i didn’t make the playlist for that purpose alone. it started out of missing you, but i know it’ll help if i start to slip.” “you can always call me. call me first and call again if i don’t answer.”

[tragedy-of-commons]

killjoy

childe x gn!reader | wc: ~1.6k

You catch your boyfriend setting up the cake.

tags/warnings: bday fun, modern & college au, based off of the American College Experience™ sorry, tooth-rotting fluff, teucer is a national treasure, comedy, possibly ooc, reader has hair

notes: for @staarri's 100 followers & bday event <3 trying to write childe was a nightmare but the wheel of doom has spoken. chosen prompt "cruel summer" :)

It has been one hell of a day.

Pop quizzes in two of your classes (that you are now tanking), getting heckled by that same group of protesters, slamming head-first into a glass panel like a pigeon, and then getting splashed by a puddle via a speeding car. 

To give credit where credit is due, you’ve suffered through every incident with class and poise. Despite how you drip with murky street water, the saving grace that is the promise of your warm bed keeps you from inventing new profanities and falling to your knees in the student parking lot.

It’s almost over with, it’s almost over with—

The splintered door of your dorm unit has never looked more welcoming. When your keycard is approved with a click, you heave the barrier between you and uninterrupted sleep wide open. However, what you don’t expect is the little spectacle unfolding in your kitchenette.

Who you belatedly realize is your lovely boyfriend is sticking candles into something - it being quickly shielded from your view as he reacts to your arrival.

“You just had to be early,” he grins, revealing those pearly whites, “Maybe I’ll start calling you ‘Killjoy’.”

“Ajax?” He’s here? Today? But he said— He must notice your sorry state, but he’s wise enough not to mention it. “You really think I’d miss celebrating your birthday in person? Seriously, what kind of partner would I be, just sending you a text? Babe, you gotta start setting some higher standards.”

“Rotten liar,” you mumble, growing smile threatening to split your face in two. 

A small flash of copper peeks around the bedroom-adjoining hallway, hyper. Teucer rushes up in front of his brother, the latter ruffling his hair. “Hey, you’re not supposed to be here yet!”

You snort, wondering if anyone else is planning to jump out of the shadows. “My sincerest apologies. I could always leave—”

“No need,” Ajax dismisses the notion with a cavalier wave. “I think we’re all ready, huh Teuce?”

He huffs in agreement, beaming up at you like you hung the moon. “One second!”

Teucer scampers off faster than you can blink, making you bellow a laugh. His energy knows no bounds, necessitating many hours of entertaining his whims. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Happy birthday,” Ajax says softly; wistfully.

You stalk over to him, embracing your boyfriend like he might disappear into thin air without a moment’s notice. “If you broke in, I will be calling campus security.” “You’d never turn me in! Also, we just so happen to still be on the guest card from last week.” You part from his warmth so you can kiss him. He tastes of sugar, the bastard.

“Buttercream?” you place, peering over his shoulder. The sight of a round cake on the counter confirms your suspicions, and your heart swells. He would’ve had to bake and decorate it somewhere else, given that ovens are a luxury you do not possess in college hell. You picture him in his too-nice apartment, piping frosting in the familiar loops of your name. “Yes!” Teucer rushes back in (you note that he’s hiding his hands behind his back), while Ajax pokes your nose. “Big brother spent soooo long on it!”

You snicker deviously. “Really?”

“No reason to lie,” your boyfriend pouts, “Though I’m a bit hurt that you’re both trying to embarrass me, after I went to all this trouble..”

Teucer sticks his tongue out in disgust whenever you console Ajax with another kiss, likely wanting you both to hurry up your gross couple stuff so he can show you his gift. It’s presented to you ceremoniously, and you honor the splendor by pretending not to know that it’s definitely one of his toys. 

Your acting is award-winning, perfectly ignoring the obvious ridges and appendages of a Transformer. After tearing open the paper, you’re told that his name is Mr. Cyclops and you have to take good care of him - your sworn oath.

(Of course, Mr. Cyclops will mysteriously end up back in Teucer’s bedroom if you can count on your partner in crime to help you out. You and Ajax share a Look that hints at conspiracy.)

Speaking of your boyfriend, you don’t think he is governed by even one modicum of shame. During the Happy Birthday song, he performs with his whole chest, much to your chagrin. You think that Ajax lives the most for other people; even if it shines brightest whenever he teases and flusters. His camaraderie is most genuine when he’s this comfortable - when he knows that the present moment is all he needs to focus on. 

When did he start letting his guard down? You find yourself unable to recall among past memories of trudging to the local diner at ungodly hours, cramming for finals at the library, and responsibly talking him down from any antics that would surely get him in trouble.

(Maybe it was when you first held an ice pack over his eye, swollen shut from a punch he shouldn’t have taken just for the thrill of it. Your admonishment must have been jarring, because without any teasing remarks whatsoever, he promised that he’d dial it down. You remember lacing your fingers with his - and promptly threatening to “embalm him with jet fuel” if he ever got hurt again.)

Now your relationship has progressed to the point where spending your first birthday together feels natural. It feels so natural that shitty paper plates stacked high with slices of cake is enough to make you forget that you look like that one damp owl picture. Ajax, as per his boyfriend duties, has to remind you, of course.

“Bad day, huh?” 

You rest your chin on your fist, elbow supported by the armrest of your (comically small) couch. In retrospect, the fleeting illusion of a living room probably wasn’t worth it. Squished into a corner by a dozing Teucer and an awake Ajax, you yawn. “The worst, actually.”

“Well, we can’t be having that,” he tips your chin up to meet azure hues, “Maybe my gift will make you feel better.”

You blink. “Gift? You don’t have to, you know. The little guy’s was plenty enough for me.” 

Ajax spares a fond glance at his little brother, whose head is resting in his lap, legs thrown over the opposite armrest. “Nonsense! If you’re worried about me having bought out a whole store—”

“Don’t tell me you—”

“—Then you have nothing to fret over, Killjoy,” he laughs. “It’s pretty small.”

You don’t suppress the smile that breaks out on your face. “Okay, I’ll bite.”

“Hopefully not too hard.” He’s so annoying. You want to kiss him stupid.

From what you assume is from his back pocket, he removes a black silk pouch before dropping it into your awaiting hand. He was right about it being small, that’s for sure. Toying with the material of it for a moment, you pull open the bag delicately. Ajax tenses. “So.. whaddya think?”

Inside is a brass key that fits into your palm nicely. Of course you’ll love anything he gives you, but you’re unsure of what this could mean. Is it symbolic? Literal? You thumb over the grooves, unsure of what they could possibly unlock. Your head swims with a fuzzy feeling that you don’t entirely hate.

“What’s it to?”

“Our place.”

It’s perfect. You turn the object this way and that way, swallowing. “Giving me my own copy? You realize that you’re gonna be stuck with me crashing at yours way more often, right?”

Your boyfriend wraps a sturdy arm around your shoulder. “It’s not there for you to crash, it’s there for you to stay. I want you to move in with me.”

The following awed silence from you is clearly taken as something else, because Ajax backpedals in that flippant way that belies the panic he’s actually feeling. You need to tell him that it’s okay; that it’s more than okay.

“Of course you can say no, but the rest of your birthday plans kinda hinge on the possibility that you’ll make me the happiest man in the world and say yes,” he amends.

You pay no heed to his theatrics, because all you really need is him. Gross. “Duh, idiot. As much as it kills me to say this, I’d want nothing more.” Ajax glows. “Because you’re head over heels in love with me?”

“No, because I won’t have to drag my ass to the laundromat anymore.”

The offended sound he lets out is muffled with your mouth against his once more, and the tears that roll down your cheeks are obviously not because you’re ecstatic to be so involved in his life. What a preposterous idea.

His hands cradle your face, a little awkward because of the position, but he’s so warm. 

“Killjoy, I have something to confess,” he breathes, pulling back enough so you can see the faint constellation of freckles dotting his features. “You need to start packing immediately, or else the flowers will wilt before you’re able to see them.”

You sigh, happy-sniffling. “Flowers? Is a bouquet perhaps part of these ‘birthday plans’?”

Ajax dries one of his hands stained with your tears off onto his shirt before raking it through Teucer’s curls affectionately. He stirs but does not wake. “Try thirty!”

“Ajax..” The horror in your tone barely disguises the admiration.

“I love you too, Killjoy.”

That night, when you’re both alone in his apartment, tangled in each other’s arms, your overnight bag on the floor - you tell him the same. The few tears he sheds into your hair are also definitely not because you’re finally comfortable enough to say it back. Ridiculous.

taglist: @hanyi-writes, @karagatan02, @bfajax, @aphrodict, @nomazee

[writingwithciara]

party games -chris sturniolo-

summary: y/n’s best friend decides to throw a party and when he needs a partner for beer pong, he chooses her. a girl who’s never played the game or had a drop of alcohol in her life. what could possibly go wrong?

word count: 3.7k

pairing: chris sturniolo x bestfriend!reader

notes & warnings: in honor of the triplet's 21st birthday!!! iwrote this before they were 21, but i guess now it doesn't really matter. hope you guys enjoy this bit of self indulgence 😊 w: intended smut; intoxication; drugs; language of course

masterlist

when chris had his 'frat boy' era, he didn't understand why the fans were obsessed or why they labelled him as such.

of course parties can be fun. especially with the right people. but there's no need to constantly be throwing a party every night.

sure he enjoys the occasional party but he doesn’t throw them every weekend like some people assume he does.

he prefers to spend most of his time with his brothers and his best friend, y/n.

he met her randomly at a mcdonald’s when he and his brothers moved to los angeles and he thought she was incredibly nice. she ended up showing them around town the next day and ever since then, whenever they were free, they would hang out together. most of those times it was just them. and chris preferred it that way sometimes.

they’ve been friends for 4 years and within that time frame, chris has never seen y/n drink a drop of alcohol or do any kind of drug. she didn’t even smoke weed and chris always saw her as the most innocent person he’d ever met.

so when he decided to give into his ‘frat boy’ persona & throw a party, he had to beg her to come to it. he had a backup plan prepared in case she said no.

she was sitting in matt’s room, discussing strategies for a game they were both into, when chris barged in to propose his deal.

“i’m throwing a party. i want you both to attend it.”

“chris, do you really-“

“before you say no, like you always do, i’ve prepared a deal that neither of you could refuse.”

“okay. and what’s that?” matt sat up straight and stared expectantly at his brother. y/n mirrored his position.

“yeah. tell us this deal please.”

“it’s different for each of you.” chris smiled and turned to matt. “if you come to the party, i will take my driving test and as a bonus, i will not ask you to drive me anywhere for a month.”

“okay. what’s in it for y/n?”

“remember that really expensive taylor swift concert package you wanted?”

“of course. what about it?”

“i may or may not have bought it for you and i may or may not have planned to give it to you for your birthday.”

“did you?”

“if you come to the party, i’ll let you know.” he sighed. “please? you’re the most important person that needs to be there.”

“hey, i’m sitting right here.”

“you’re lucky i love you, chris.” y/n walked over to him. “whens the party?”

“4 hours from now. and don’t worry. you can get ready in my room. already got an outfit picked out for you.”

“you really put some thought into this, didn’t you?”

“i did. so, are you guys gonna come to the party?”

“for you, i’d do anything.” y/n smiled and walked out to the kitchen. chris watched her leave and matt chuckled.

“you’re lucky she loves you.” he smiled. “you should just tell her you love her too.”

“oh please. we’re as platonic as two people can get. she friend zoned me the first week of our friendship and i’ve never wanted to change it.”

“well i’m sensing a but coming in soon.”

“but" he dragged the word out and sighed. "these last 2 months have made me realize that she’s perfect for me, matt. she’s the right amount of innocent without being too innocent. and she’s funny and she gets along with nick. do you know how hard that is for people to do?”

“you’re right. it is difficult. but she’s a good person. you guys are so opposite.”

“yeah but that’s what makes us perfect.” chris smiled. “wait, hold on. did you just imply i’m not a good person?”

out in the kitchen, y/n was preparing a snack when nick entered the room.

“hey. did chris ask you to come to the party?”

“yeah he did.” y/n put the chips away and took the dip from the fridge. “do you know if he actually got the concert package or not?”

“i’m pretty sure he did. but you didn’t hear it from me.” nick popped a chip in his mouth and walked away. chris came out of matt’s room a second later and smiled when he saw y/n in the kitchen.

“hey. you can shower first if you want.”

“okay. i just want to finish my chips first.” y/n grabbed the last few chips and shoved them in her mouth. “okay. see you in 2 hours."

"2 hours?"

"yeah. i need that much time to make myself look good enough to be seen with you guys tonight."

"you could attend the party in ripped sweatpants and a baggy sweater and you'd still look better than anyone attending."

"awe, christopher. that was sweet." y/n smiled. "but i'm still gonna get all dressed up because when do i ever get the chance to do that?"

"fair point." he chuckled.

"thanks again for the invite." she kissed his cheek and ran down to his room to get ready.

by 9 o'clock, the party was in full swing. most people were already well into their 3rd or 4th drink at this point.

chris, however, had decided to pre-game after his shower and was already on his 6 drink. they were mostly shots but with someone like chris, it was easy to get drunk.

he was surrounded by a group of gorgeous girls. and it just so happened that he abandoned those girls when he saw y/n. she was holding a cup in her hand and looking around the room. she was alone so chris walked up to her.

"is there alcohol in that cup?"

"of course not." she sipped it slowly. "matt gave me some of his root beer. and don't worry. i watched him pour it and i haven't taken my eyes off the cup since."

"well that's good to know."

"so what just happened?"

"huh?"

"one second, you're surrounded by every girl at this party that anyone would categorize as 'your type' and the next, you're over here with me. what makes me so special?"

"i'd tell you, but then i'm afraid i would have to kill you." he put his finger to his lips and looked around. "hey, let's go play some beer pong."

"i don't drink, chris. you know that."

"then be my partner. i know you have really good aim and i could use someone like you as my partner." he pleaded. "i'll drink everything. i promise."

"i can't say no to you, can i?"

"no you can not." he smirked triumphantly and grabbed her hand. they hurried over to the table where someone was setting up the next round. "y/n and i call next round."

"are you sure about that, chrissy? i've never seen her even sip a single drop of alcohol. maybe i could be your partner." one of the girls from earlier batted her eyelashes at him seductively but he paid her no mind.

"alright. let's do this." chris eyed the cups and pointed to the one he wanted y/n to aim for. "let's get the hardest one out of the way first, hmm?" he whispered in her ear and she tossed the tiny ball. it spun around the rim of the cup before landing inside. "yes! i knew you could do it."

"thanks for having some faith in me, chris." she smiled up at him as the guy on the other end of the table downed the alcohol.

"let's see you go 2 for 2." he wiped his lips and y/n picked up another ball. she was about to aim for the front cup but chris leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"back corner cup. you can do this."

she didn't know why but the way his words came out of his mouth, did something to her. she watched as the ball bounced past the cup and sighed. "sorry, chris."

"it's okay. you're still doing great." he kissed the top of her head as the game continued.

they conquered the rest of the game and they were setting up for another round when y/n looked at chris.

"i think i want to try drinking."

"are you positive?"

"100%. it's not like i'm driving home tonight anyway. besides, i'm here with you so i'm the safest i could ever be."

"i won't let anything bad happen to you."

"i know." she smiled up at him with her innocent smile and he knew he needed to protect her at all costs.

they ended up losing game 2 but they wanted to participate in another one. at this point, y/n had downed 6 of the 10 cups so to say she was tipsy would be a bit of an understatement.

halfway through game 3, chris had to cut her off. he had been sobering up while she was drinking and the sight before him was ridiculous, but also funny.

chris intentionally lost the game and finished off the last cup. he grabbed y/n's hand and brought her down to his room.

"ooh, christopher. if you wanted me in your bed, you could've just asked." she giggled when the door was closed.

"i'm gonna get you some water. can you get changed for me?" chris looked at her and smiled when she nodded slowly. He went into his bathroom and grabbed a cup, filling it with water before venturing back to his room. y/n was in the middle of taking her shirt off when he entered the room. her movements became slow and it felt like she was putting on a show for him.

"like what you see, chrissy?"

"no." he swallowed hard. he in fact did like what he saw but she was drunk and it would be wrong to admit it. so he just looked back at her. "you need to get changed into something comfortable to sleep in, y/n/n."

"you're no fun." she pouted and continued to pull the shirt over her head. it somehow got stuck and she turned towards where she assumed chris was. "help, please?"

chris shook his head and approached her. he grabbed the piece of fabric carefully and pulled it over her head, replacing it with one of his new fresh love shirts. her jeans were a little easier to slide down her legs and chris replaced them with some of his old shorts.

"thank you, chris. you're the best." she mumbled as she snuggled deeper into the blankets. just as she was getting comfortable, her face twisted in disgust and she leaned over the edge of the bed. chris grabbed the garbage bin and held it underneath her while she emptied the contents of her stomach into it. he sat next to her and rubbed her back gently while holding her hair back. when she was finished, chris handed her a towel to wipe her lips and he used a damp one to wipe the sweat off her face.

"feeling better?"

"no. i feel like shit." she grumbled and moved to lay on her back. chris still sat on the edge of the bed, but this time, he had to turn his head a little to talk to her.

"i never should've let you drink." he sighed, adding a little chuckle at the end when y/n dramatically threw her arm over her face.

"yeah. what were you thinking, christopher?"

"i would've stopped you but your mind was set on it. and i'd like to think i know you well enough at this point to understand that when you're dead set on something, nothing can change your mind."

"i guess that's true." y/n sighed and closed her eyes. "thank you for being such a good friend, chris. i don't deserve you."

"more like i don't deserve you." chris chuckled and looked back at y/n to see her chest rising and falling slowly, signaling she was a brief moment away from falling asleep. "get some rest, princess. i'll see you in the morning." he moved her hair out of her face and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before slowly walking out of the room & rejoining the party.

matt eyed his brother as he walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. "what? no more drinking?"

"oh, this is for y/n when she wakes up." chris smiled and passed the bottle between his hands casually. "i can't believe i let her drink so much."

"she's an adult, chris. she can make her own choices. you don't have to feel guilty for what happened or obligated to keep her from making mistakes."

"i know. but she's my best friend and i made myself a promise that i would never let anything bad happen to her."

"and so far, nothing bad has happened. you're doing a great job."

"thanks, matt. i really needed that reassurance." chris smiled again. "i hope you don't mind but i'm done with the party for the night. duty calls, you know."

"yeah. i get it. you've gotta take care of her. go on."

"i appreciate you." chris hugged his brother before heading back down to his room. y/n was tossing around on the bed as if she was having some sort of nightmare.

chris approached her and noticed her face was covered in sweat so he grabbed the wet cloth and ran it along her face. her movements slowed and her breathing went back to normal, satisfying chris. he placed the bottle on his nightstand and crawled into bed next to her. when y/n's arm landed on his chest, he stiffened up a bit but when he heard light snores coming from her, he just smiled to himself.

he was glad she felt safe around him but he knew he needed to tell her how he felt before it was too late.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

the morning came faster than chris had wanted. he couldn't get any sleep with y/n beside him. she spent a few hours just throwing up in the garbage and chris was there to take care of her each time. he wiped her face with a damp cloth and got her water when she needed it.

when her eyes fluttered open and she made eye contact with chris, she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.

"good morning." she whispered.

"good morning." chris smiled and moved the hair that was stuck to her forehead. "how are you feeling?"

"better than i was last night, but still shitty." she closed her eyes. "i'm sorry you had to take care of me all night instead of enjoying your own party. i feel bad you missed most of it."

"hey, don't feel bad. i will always take care of you, no matter what."

"but, your party-"

"it wasn't that important. not nearly as important to me as you are."

"do you....do you mean that?"

"of course." he smiled and played with her fingers.

"you know, even after 4 years, i will never understand why i'm so important to you." she replied shyly, avoiding eye contact with her best friend. "i mean, i'm nothing special."

"hey," he grabbed her chin gently and looked into her eyes. "you are incredibly special. don't sell yourself short, ma."

"t-thanks, chris." she looked into his eyes and before she knew it, she was leaning closer. just as their lips were about to touch, y/n ducked her head to the side and threw up in the garbage bin. chris held her hair back for her while she continued to empty her stomach. when she was finished, she wiped her mouth with the back if her hand. "oh my god. i'm so sorry, chris."

"it's alright. you don't have to apologize to me, ever." he smiled and wiped the sweat from her face again. "especially for something as normal as that."

"you're sweet, christopher." she closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. chris rubbed her shoulder and kissed her head. "how are you still single?"

he felt like saying "because i only want to be with you" but he kept his mouth shut. he didn't need to lose his best friend. he could've risked it but he didn't want to say anything until he knew how she felt. and he couldn't ask her in her current state. so he would just have to wait until she was better, no matter how long it took.

when he was sure y/n was fast asleep again, he gently moved her off his body and got out of bed. he went up to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for his brothers and y/n, since he knew they'd all have a hangover of some sort.

matt was the first one awake and when he entered the kitchen and saw chris cooking, he didn't even question it.

"good morning." chris greeted him happily.

"could you lower your voice a little, please?" matt rubbed his head slowly while he sat at the table. chris poured him a glass of water and set it down gently. "thank you."

"matt, can i tell you something?"

"yeah, of course." he sipped his water slowly.

"i almost kissed y/n earlier."

"oh my god. really? what happened?"

"our lips were like 2 inches from touching and then she ended up throwing up. but i may have messed our friendship up by almost kissing her."

"why do you say that?"

"it just feels like it. i don't know."

"look, you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. the worst she can say is that she doesn't feel the same. but i doubt that outcome will happen because i guarantee that she has feelings for you."

"well, i won't be sure until i talk to her. and i plan on doing it after breakfast." chris heard his bedroom door shut and he finished plating the food. he set everyone's plates on the table just as nick and y/n came into the kitchen. "good morning."

"good morning." y/n sat at the table and looked at her plate. "this all looks delicious, chris. thank you."

"you're welcome." he sat across from her and everyone began eating.

breakfast was mostly silent, aside from the forks hitting the plates and the cups being set down on the table.

when everyone was done eating, chris went to clear the table by himself but y/n stopped him.

"let me help. it's the least i can do since you made breakfast and all." y/n smiled and carried half the dishes to the kitchen. she set them down in the sink and ran the water. "breakfast was delicious, chris. thanks again."

"no problem. figured you'd need some solid food in your system. hopefully you can keep it down."

"i'm sure i will." she smiled. "after all, i had a really good caretaker this morning."

"speaking of this morning, can we talk? you know, about the thing that almost happened?"

"yeah. um, sure. when do you want to talk about it?"

as y/n and chris talked in the kitchen, matt glanced over at them occasionally. nick noticed and raised his eyebrow.

"you good over there, bro?"

"yeah. i just really hope chris and y/n finally admit how they feel about each other. been rooting for them ever since that night we met her at mcdonald's." matt glanced back over towards the kitchen and noticed they were gone. "wow. they move fast."

"not fast enough." nick chuckled as he averted his attention back to the tv.

down in chris' bedroom, he was sitting on the edge of his bed with y/n beside him. she began to fidget with her fingers and chris instinctively reached over and held her hands gently.

"you know, you've been my best friend and favorite person for 4 years. and ever since the night we met at mcdonald's, i've been trying to figure out how you've had the patience to put up with me for so long. you are so incredible and an absolute angel, y/n. and i admire you so much. you have no idea how much you mean to me and i don't think there's enough time in the world for me to express just how strongly i feel about you." chris looked over at her and gently cupped her cheek. "you are so perfect."

"christopher owen sturniolo, you are unmatched. and i love you. so much more than you can ever imagine."

"if you hadn't gotten sick this morning, would you have followed through with the kiss?"

"absolutely." y/n smiled. "would you have followed through?"

"yes definitely. and even though you got sick, i still would've kissed you after."

"barf breath and everything?"

"i'd kiss you under any circumstance, y/n. i love you."

"i love you too." y/n smiled and ran her hand through his hair, bringing his lips down to hers. she smiled into the kiss and chris held her close.

"i'm going to take you on a proper date tomorrow night." chris smiled widely. "Wait, hold on. i actually have something you might prefer."

"something else i'd prefer over a date with you? i doubt it."

"oh but this is better. trust me." chris got up and walked to his closet. he pulled out a medium sized gift box and handed it to her. "i wanted to give this to you on your birthday but since it's this weekend, i think now's a better time to give it to you."

y/n opened the box and pulled out the special taylor swift vip concert package chris put together for her.

"chris, you didn't."

"oh but i did. a week from today, you'll be going to the taylor swift show in la and you'll be watching it from the front row. during the show, there's a surprise. then after the show, you'll be going backstage to meet her and spend some time with her."

"i love you so much, chris. you didn't have to do this." y/n had tears in her eyes and chris wiped them away.

"if anyone deserves this, it's you."

"i truly don't deserve you, christopher." she rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "i'm so glad we met at mcdonald's that night."

"me too." chris smiled and kissed her softly.

they finally got what they both wanted and they couldn't be happier. and without mcdonald's & beer pong, they wouldn't be where they are now.

[menlove]

potential times they fucked ⁉️

LISGSHSHS well MOSTLY I'm just like dead certain they fucked in paris. not just 1961 but in 1966. because of john himself. there's this whole post on his short story in skywriting by word of mouth but tldr

skywriting by word of mouth classically chronicles a lot of john's sexual exploits via fictional characters to represent himself & his partners

one of them takes place in paris. the guy is away working on a play & his lover sends him a telegram asking to meet in paris. they meet up at the george v hotel & they fuck to god only knows by the beach boys. there's references to gay culture & sex (ie her name is a play on a drug popular among gay men & john writes about the man basically fondling her "potatoes" lmfao). this isn't their first time in paris & the man is hesitant abt the relationship bc of his status

IN REAL LIFE: john wasn't working on a play but he was filming "how I won the war" in 1966 a few weeks after the beatles' last tour. for whatever random reason (😐) in the break between filming in germany and filming in spain, john & paul met up in paris for the weekend. where they stayed at the george v hotel. and god only knows is Vital here. why? it's paul's favorite song (& don't even get me fucking started on this. he broke down crying when he performed it with brian wilson & it also inspired here, there, and everywhere which is both his AND john's favorite song he's done. which he wrote while waiting for john to wake up. but whatever). they'd been to paris twice before, like the lovers in the story. once famously in 1961 when john took paul to paris for his 21st birthday and they shared a single bed lmfao. and then in 1964 where they stayed at the george v for the first time (& john wrote if I fell. haha! cool!)

as for the 61 trip.... it's already gay but I don't have AS much to say about it re being certain they fucked but there is audio of john singing to paul about paris ("my cheri my pau pau" 😐) & in it he mentions paul's dick (& calls it small lmfaoooo) and just overall is being Extremely Suggestive

honorable mentions of potential times they fucked with WAY less credibility are india ("what WERE we getting up to?" and john proceeding to fake blow a microphone while paul fucking blushes and giggles. okay. it's in get back). and thennnnn there's this which is EXTREMELY threadbare I'm doing everyone a disservice w this but john made a collage for elton john for his birthday that includes a naked man that Suspiciously Looks Like Paul

lmfao that familiar mullet. also:

so is that paul? probably not. but I just think it's funny and I'm going to pretend it is and that they fucked in nature at LEAST once in the 70s

[anna-hawk]

I want you

Shane Walsh x F!Reader

Summary: You're at a surprise birthday party in your honor and Shane can't take his eyes off you.

Warnings/Tags: semi-public sex, slight uniform kink, birthday smut

WC: 3k // Explicit 🔞

Also on AO3

For @darlingshane I know that I'd told you that I'd be writing you some soft Sam Rossi smut this time, but I didn't have time, and then we had that conversation about Shane being prime thirst material. I played around with this scenario like a sequel to “Just the tip” for a couple of weeks, but I thought that it could be fun for a birthday party too and turned it into something for you. I wrote this today, mostly at work, and my brain has been in Shane thirst mode the whole day😝. I know how much you love him, so I hope you'll enjoy this little gift, even if it's not Sam. Again, happy birthday!!! 🧡🧡🧡

As Shane chatted with a small group of friends, his eyes flitted over to where you were standing on the other side of the room. You were surrounded by a throng of friends still laughing about your shocked face as you’d walked into your surprise birthday party earlier that evening. 

Shane’s shift had ended in time for him to make it to your best friend’s place and be there for that particular moment, but he was still wearing his deputy uniform. He’d brought a change of clothes, but between the moment of you getting to your friend’s house and everyone jumping from behind furniture to surprise you, followed by people running to you excitedly, Shane hadn’t bothered with it, preferring to watch you laughing and grinning happily. 

Still looking at you and barely listening to the conversation being held around him, he smiled to himself as he thought back to the moment he’d finally managed to reach you to be able to give out his own birthday wishes. You hadn’t seen each other at home today, with you having an early shift while he had a later one. He’d sent you a text, of course, but he’d needed to tell you face to face. 

“Happy birthday, Darlin’,” he’d rumbled, as he’d wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“Mmh, thank you, Deputy,” you’d replied with a purr, taking hold of the lapels of his uniform shirt to pull him closer as he’d kissed you. 

He’d grinned against your lips, knowing how much you enjoyed seeing him in uniform. There had been a few catcalls when Shane had dipped you slightly, which had the both of you laughing as you straightened, and he took a step away from you, one hand at the small of your back. As the time had gone on, you’d slowly parted, following a conversation here or there, until you’d been at one end of the living room and he at the other.

Shane’s eyes roved over your body, the clothes you’d chosen for tonight highlighting all your assets in ways that had Shane’s hands twitching with the need to touch you. Damn, he couldn’t remember the last time you’d had sex. Well, no, that was a lie. It had only been a few days ago, but what he wanted to do to you right now was more than just some slow, albeit satisfying morning sex with him lying behind you as he thrust inside you deeply. 

Since you were facing towards him, you instantly caught his eye as you lifted your eyes while still speaking with your friends. Your lips pulled up for him, but you didn’t stop in what you were saying, your words completely unintelligible to him over the gaggle of other conversations.

“I want you,” Shane mouthed, moving his lips slowly while staring right into your eyes.

He knew you’d gotten each word, since your eyes widened briefly before you blinked rapidly, and you visibly faltered in what you were saying, completely caught off guard. Shane smirked, keeping his laser focus on you as he watched you grinning and looking away, resuming your conversation while clearly flustered. Shane forced in a deep breath of air at the lust sparking through him at your reaction. His grin widened as you glanced back at him several times, biting over your lower lip with an amused, and definitely turned on expression. 

“What do you think, Shane?” 

Shane’s attention snapped back to the people he’d been talking to, realizing he’d completely tuned them out in his observation of you. 

“Sorry, what?” 

It was your best friend’s husband who’d asked the question, and Shane did his best to give him his attention again. As he answered, however, he still wasn’t able to keep his eyes away from you all the way. 

A moment later, there was a bit of a commotion as he saw your group stepping away from each other, all of you laughing and looking to the floor. You were grimacing through your laugh, one of your hands and the hem of your shirt covered in some liquid, while a glass of punch lay on the floor. Shane watched you hurry off towards a corridor lying to one side of the house, while laughing as you called to your friends that you were heading to the bathroom to get cleaned up over your shoulder. 

More arousal ran through his belly at the idea that popped into his head. The bathroom was all the way down that long corridor.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” he said to everyone in general thirty seconds after you'd vanished, not bothering to check whether anyone heard him or not as he followed after you. 

Quickly glancing around himself to make sure that he wasn't attracting any attention, Shane casually walked towards the bathroom, hurrying his steps only once he was out of sight. Once at the door, he grinned wolfishly and pulled down the handle, opening it to find you standing, shirtless, in front of the sink, washing out the stain on your shirt. 

“Hey, it's occu - oh, Shane, hey.” 

The tension of surprise at someone walking in on you like that evaporated as soon as you realized who was at the door. Shane walked inside and closed the door, before locking it while still facing you, his hand at his back to do so. 

“Shane?” You questioned with a small frown after hearing the telltale click of the lock.

Your confusion quickly made way for understanding, however, and Shane had no doubt that it was from how he was looking at you, since your eyes widened and your lips parted, the shirt hanging limply from your fingers. 

“Shane,” you repeated, this time with amusement and warning in your tone. 

Shane paid the warning part no mind as he advanced on you, his eyes traveling over your bare skin, the lacy bralette the only thing covering your chest. He chuckled when you took a step backwards, only to be caught between him and the sink. He lifted one of his hands to trail the fingers down your collarbone and chest in a featherlight caress. The fingertips stopped at the top of the bralette, and he stroked an index along the whole edge, from one breast to the other. 

“Shane,” you breathed, the shirt falling to the ground as you let go of it, your chest already rising and falling quickly, much to Shane's satisfaction. “We're not home.” 

Shane stared up at you from where he'd had his attention on your breasts, looking into your eyes from under his lashes. He smirked; your complaint sounded far too feeble to be given much consideration. His fingers went over the edge of the bralette and cupped the side of your breast lightly, the thumb flicking over your pebbling nipple, back and forth. Shane saw you close your eyes on a gasp, followed by a small whimper that was mostly held in by how you were biting your bottom lip. While he kept up his teasing, his other hand slid over your waist and to the center of your back, the touch as light as the one he'd bestowed on your chest. When he lightly tweaked your nipple between index and middle finger, you gripped the edges of the sink. 

“Shane, please,” you begged, panting as Shane undid your bralette with his other hand, making the material fold and fall down your arms, revealing your breasts to his gaze. 

“Please what?” he smiled, ducking his head until he caught the other nipple between his teeth and pulled on it lightly. “Hm?”

Your hand flew to your mouth to cover it and stop the long moan threatening to come out of you. 

“Shane… I - ah.”

Shane took the nub into his mouth and sucked on it hungrily, while throwing glances up at your face. You'd opened your eyes again, halfway at least, and we're staring down at him with a dazed expression from over your hand. Fuck, but he loved rendering you to the point of speechlessness. He put a hand on the sink behind you for balance and used the other one to open your pants and slide his hand inside. The hand you still had on the sink yourself flew to his shirt and gripped it tightly as he teased a finger over your damp folds. You bit into your hand as he started to move his hand back and forth, as much as he could within the confines of your pants. 

“Please what?” Shane reiterated, circling your clit with his pointer finger and grinning devilishly as he straightened to lean over your slumped form. His lips touched the back of your hand that was still over your mouth as he spoke. 

You lowered said hand and stared at him with your pupils fully blown. 

“Make me come,” you breathed.

“Mh, anything for the birthday girl,” Shane rumbled, his hard cock straining against his pants at your tone of voice. 

Pulling away from you as well as removing his hand from between your legs, Shane grabbed you by the hips and turned you around. You gasped and caught yourself over the sink, staring at Shane through the mirror in front of you. Your eyes grew wide as Shane tugged your pants and underwear down to the middle of your thighs and pushed you over the white porcelain until you were braced on it with your elbows. He could tell that you hadn’t expected him to fuck you, your expression full of apprehension for a moment before your eyes met his again and you settled. The emotions running through him at the utter trust you placed in him, even for something like that, made him release a harsh breath, his dick throbbing in his uniform. Making quick work of his pants himself, he pulled his boxers just low enough to take out his length and balls, the cool air on his raging erection making him shiver. Staring between your legs at your center, your flesh already glistening from your lust, Shane had the sudden desire to sink to his knees and lap all your juices up, slowly take you apart until you came on his tongue. He took in another deep breath, his knees already starting to give way on their own, his body knowing how much he loved making you writhe with his mouth. 

No time, however. 

Instead, Shane leaned over your back and pressed a kiss between your shoulder blades, before looking at you through the mirror and talking against your ear. 

“Seein’ you like that, already so ready for me, with your pretty lil pussy drippin’ for me… Wanna fuckin’ eat you all up, Darlin’.” He rubbed the tip of his cock through your slit, gathering your wetness and making him feel how hot you were, while not even pushing inside yet. His balls tightened at the anticipation of the warmth and tightness he’d been experiencing after filling you. 

You closed your eyes, a full-body shiver going through you at his words. 

“Please,” you uttered, desperate and needy, and Shane wouldn’t have been able to wait any longer even if he’d wanted to. 

“Look at me.” It sounded like a command, but Shane only needed to see the pleasure filling your eyes at the same time he filled you. 

He pushed inside you slowly, savoring the way you squeezed around him, wet and hot heat enveloping him and making him groan deeply, while his eyes never looked away from your face. The way your eyebrows knitted together faintly, how your mouth parted on a long moan, only to be quieted by your hand, were things Shane would never get enough of watching. Leaning up and taking you with him with a hand placed between your breasts, Shane made you cant your hips in such a way that he had the perfect angle to thrust inside you. Which he did after pulling all the way out, the tip of his cock right outside your entrance, to slam back inside with a sharp snap of his hips. Your eyes went wide with the shock of pleasure it delivered, and Shane had to cover your hand over your mouth to help muffle your scream of bliss. Since Shane had his hand over your mouth, his hand larger than yours, thus more effective in keeping in your noises, you slipped your hand free and put both on the edge of the sink for some leverage against his thrusts. Shane wrapped his other hand around your throat, pulling your head slightly back against his shoulder, making your back arch and push your ass out even more. 

“Fuck, just look at you,” Shane growled against your hair, watching your reflection, and the bouncing of your breasts as he fucked you faster and faster, knowing that he couldn’t take his time like he wanted to. “Look at yourself,” he continued with more intent, while slipping the hand from your throat between your legs. “So fuckin’ pretty like that.”

Your eyes fell shut for the first time when Shane began rubbing over your slippery clit while still fucking you at a fast pace, your body trembling so hard with pleasure that Shane had to tighten his hold on you. 

“Yeah, that’s my girl. Come for me, baby. Gonna squeeze my dick so - fuck!” Shane snarled the last part in pleasure when your walls clamped down around him as your orgasm hit you, his hips stuttering briefly before he kept on filling you again and again. 

Little keening sounds, that were getting louder as your release reached its highest point, slipped through Shane’s palm and forced him to press his hand even harder over your mouth. To be honest, Shane wanted nothing more than to hear you scream, the others be damned, but he knew very well that you wouldn’t be able to face your friends again if they heard you. As soon as your orgasm began to subside, Shane let go of you to pull out and started stripping his cock with ruthless movements, your juices making his strokes oh so easy. 

“Wh - what are you doing?” you asked, panting harshly from your slumped position over the sink, watching Shane through the mirror. “Want you to come inside me.” 

Shane groaned and closed his eyes at the words, his dick spilling out more pre-come. 

“Fuck, really wanna do it, Darlin’, but we gotta head out soon, and you'd regret it, trust me,” Shane admitted in a rush. Despite how much he wanted to fill you up, he knew that you didn't have the time to fully clean up before someone came looking for you. 

Shane stared at you as you suddenly whirled around to face him, your beautiful face still carrying the signs of pleasure. Leaning in to kiss him briefly, Shane watched you fall to your knees and open your mouth, your tongue lolling out of it expectantly. 

“Gimme your load, Deputy Walsh,” you spurred on with a wanton gaze, letting your tongue graze the head of his cock. “All of it.”

Shane gritted his teeth and caught himself with his free hand on the sink behind your head as he stroked himself wildly over your upturned face. You always knew what to say to drive him wild, and playing with his title and submissiveness was always sure to get him there. As his balls drew up with his approaching release, Shane reached for your hair to get your head exactly where he wanted it. He locked his knees as he came hard, his hot come shooting all over your tongue and lips. You held there, gazing at him with utter satisfaction as you waited for him to be done before drawing your tongue back into your mouth and visibly swallowing. Shane exhaled a sharp breath as he watched you, his cock twitching a few more times at the sight you made. 

“C’mere,” he rasped, as he stooped to catch your forearm and pull you up to him. 

After kissing your temple, Shane retrieved the shirt and bralette, while you pulled up and fastened your pants. 

“At least the stain’s gone,” you said as you examined the shirt once you’d put the bralette back on, grimacing at the wet spot against your waist where the stain had been. 

Shane straightened his clothes as well, and you made sure to check if everything was in place before going for the door. You found your best friend in front of it, her fist lifted as if about to knock.

“Oh, hey, I was wondering what was going on.”

Shane felt you stilling behind him in shock, probably wondering if she'd heard anything. Your friend’s eyes went from Shane and back to you a few times, her expression searching, but Shane grinned at her charmingly and shrugged as he stepped out into the corridor.

“Uh, we… just tried to get the stain out,” you explained as you followed him, pointing at the shirt and where the stain had been. “And it worked.”

“Yeah… tried real hard,” Shane added, chuckling under his breath when your friend didn’t look at him. 

You shot him a warning glance, but Shane still saw the way you tried to hide your own grin as you realized that she hadn’t heard anything.

“Oh, good,” she smiled, before linking her arm through yours. “Come on, I came looking for you cause we’re about to bring the cake in.”

“Chocolate and cookie cake?” Shane wondered from behind the two women. 

“It better be,” you laughed, turning to face him with a wide smile. 

The guests had formed a large circle around the main table, people turning to you excitedly as they saw you coming back. It was just in time to see your friend’s husband bringing in a large cake, the small lights of the candles dancing with his every step. Everyone burst into song as he deposited the cake on the table, and you smiled shyly at the heartfelt attention. Shane smiled fondly from behind you, and curled an arm around your waist to pull you into his side and kiss your head. 

“Happy birthday, Darlin’.” 

“I got a taste of you and now my favorite cake. It sure is a happy birthday,” you said only loud enough for him to hear you, grinning at him with a note of mischief. 

Shane snorted loudly at your unexpected words, and pulled your face to his to kiss you. 

[awinchestershell]

I’m not sure how it still manages to surprise me after all this time, the depths of the selfishness and cruelty of human greed. 

I remember the day One Direction was formed. I remember how nervous they all were, how young and excited and wide-eyed about the possibilities being tossed into their laps. They truly had no idea what was in front of them. 

They were so small, and they had such big dreams that barely fit inside them, and it was so beautiful watching them achieve them. 

I remember watching them become more and more jaded over time, that childish wonder being torn away as the reality around them became more apparent. I remember hundreds upon thousands of tweets and tumblr posts from worried fans about how exhausted they seemed, something in their eyes just not feeling right anymore. 

The day Zayn left the band the world seemed to stop. I couldn’t tell you how many young girls on my social media pages I saw wailing in what at the time seemed like the worst pain this band could ever put us through.

God, how wrong we were. 

It seemed so obvious, even at the time, that there was something more going on. It wasn’t like they were trying to hide it. 

Then Zayn wrote his book and spoke about how much he’d struggled in the band, and for the first time one of the boys had publicly acknowledged how hard it was to be One Direction. And he was still barely scratching the surface.

The band breaks up, or ‘goes on hiatus’, and again it feels like the worst thing they could do. How much harder of a hit can we take? What more is there to lose?

And yet again, it’s so obvious that there’s more going on then they’re saying. They all seem so worn out, downright miserable at times, yet they never stop the grind. They never take a day off. They never sleep. 

Slowly, they start to talk about the reality of being a child star. Of being sixteen years old and handed the world on a silver platter, money and fame and all the things that no one ever even touches in their wildest dreams, and they’re not even out of high school yet. 

They talk of being locked up in hotel rooms for days at a time with nothing to entertain them but the mini bar. Feeling trapped, being a prisoner to their own success. They talk of schedules so busy they shouldn’t be possible, never seeing their own families, cameras in their faces at the most vulnerable moments of their lives.

They begin to write what they really feel. We finally get a peek into their real thoughts instead of what some bighead in a suit is telling them to think.

They write of real love, feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling scared, feeling on top of the world, toxic romances that you know are toxic but you stay anyway because you don’t want to be alone, happiness so overwhelming you lose your mind, grief, exploring, running free, coming home, friendship, drugs, sex, all the best and worst parts of being alive. 

They write what they feel, and what they know. They express themselves. 

They find their own paths. We worry, of course we worry. But it’s an honor and a joy watching them find themselves in their music.

We convince ourselves that they’ll come together one day. Not even for a tour, because they’ve changed too much and so have we, but for a charity show, or someone’s birthday, or an anniversary. 

And then TMZ takes a photo.

And now we know that Zayn leaving and the band breaking up meant nothing at all.

It’s a fascinating thing, really. How you can spend years of your life not really thinking of someone anymore and then they’re gone and suddenly they’re all you can think of. 

I never left. I’ve known these boys as long as they’ve known each other. But I’ve seen so many people in the last week see this news and have years of memories come rushing back to them. A whole lifetime of love and joy and community just gone.

It’s a brutal, miserable blow to the most innocent part of you. The part that believes in the goodness of humanity, in the pure joy of creation, being a part of something bigger than yourself. 

All of the jokes, the laughter, the music, the friendship. It’s all just gone.

And the worst part is it didn’t have to happen.

A completely, hilariously avoidable tragedy. 

He’s gone because humanity hates itself. Because we are greedy and cruel. Because a management company exploited those five young boys for money and power until they couldn’t anymore, making sure to torment them along the way. Because men with cameras have to leech off of every vulnerable moment celebrities have, using and abusing their suffering for a quick buck.

Because the anonymous, mindless drones on social media think that their opinion is the only one that deserves to be heard. And that they decide who deserves to live or die. That it’s appropriate to send someone death threats and tell them to burn in hell, and then post jokes and celebratory tweets about them after they’ve killed themself. 

Because TMZ thinks that taking a picture of a man’s dead body and leaking it to the press before his mother has even gotten the call that he’s dead is good journalism. 

This is why he’s gone. 

THis is why there will be another Liam Payne after him. This is why we will never, ever be okay. Because humanity sees a senseless, unnecessary tragedy, and they point and laugh. And they ask how they can make money off of it.

Because we are broken. Fractured down to our core. And there is no fixing us. Not anymore. 

The media took a sweet, funny, bright-eyed 16 year old boy and they sucked all the life out of him. They turned him into a soulless cash cow, they took him for all he had, and when he had nothing left to give they abandoned him. 

And now that he’s gone they’re turning his death into a circus. Instead of allowing him the dignity of dying in peace, surrounded by the love and privacy he deserves, they’ve robbed him of even that.

When a mother is left resorting to begging the internet to not post filth of her child’s dead father so he won’t have to grow up and see it one day, and a crowd of teenage girls are forced to raise their hands up to block cameras from filming a man as he collects the belongings of his dead son, we’re left wondering how we got here. 

Ask yourself just how much of your soul you have left, and if the answer is any at all, how much are you willing to sacrifice to continue playing a part in this nightmare? 

[hauntedwitch04]

Lucifer I

Nyx Acheron x reader

Words: about 5.0k words

Warnings: blood, death, murder, sad things in general, shitty biological family

Author's note: This is a request by a follower on Wattpad, that I personally loved and I wrote this during the night. It's not complited, the second part will be out soon, but it was getting to long. Hope you like it loves, your witch Becky

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"Say one more word and I swear I'll cut out your tongue." You say looking at the young prince of the night, who reciprocates by looking at you amused.

"Uncle Az, tell your hound dog to stay put." Nyx replies, as he rises from the chair in the meeting room we are in. For a moment you forget about him and end up looking around, and you wonder if little te knew this would happen to her in the future, if she would believe it. When Azriel found you, hiding in a cave not far from the Illyrian camp from which you had escaped, he was shocked at how long you had lasted alone in the woods. It had been weeks now since you had managed to escape what was left of my family, yet you still had not managed to wash away completely the blood of your sisters that had remained under your nails.

After your parents had died, my father in battle and my mother in childbirth, the chief of our tribe had decided to assign you to the only relatives left for you and your sisters namely your uncles, evil and mean people who had only money in mind and how to accumulate more and more of it, and because of this however small you were, you had to start working right away. Also living with you was our mother's mother, a bigoted and unintelligent woman bound by the stupid traditions of the barbaric people of which I am a part, who from early on you knew would present a threat to your wings. Not a day went by when she did not complain that you had not yet bled or find ways to make it happen, but you in response had studied every book and document you could about it and made sure to find every remedy you could to delay the arrival of what would spell the end of your last freedom. And the same you did with your sisters when they began to grow up, honoring the memory of your parents by asking them for help every night.

After spending years and years being a slave, on your twentieth birthday you woke up with red-stained blankets and immediately a new fear took its place in your body. You could already hear voices coming toward the room you shared with your sisters, and without a second thought you had jumped up waking the other two girls and telling them to take what you had prepared to run away. Within minutes you were already running through the woods, looking for a safe place to live for a while until you figured out how to do it. Over time you had also learned to hunt, and so you were not afraid to live in the woods; what you were afraid of was your family.

A little over an hour had passed when you heard voices coming from behind.

"Baby, I don't want to hurt you. You know we have to, it's time for you to become a real woman." Yelled your uncle in an obnoxious, sarcastic voice, and you only increased your pace, which soon turned again into a hopeless race dragging your sisters toward what you hoped would be salvation.

"Do you really think those wings make you somebody! You are nothing if a little slut trying to escape from a future that is already written! Hurry up and I promise I won't rip your wings off, just keep playing hide-and-seek and I'll take all the time I can to do what I want with you!" Yells your uncle again, before laughing out loud. "Do you think we haven't found your stupid plant books, to delay your bleeding, do you think we're that stupid? That alone could be enough of a death sentence for you, do you really want to make your situation worse!?" He continued, and you felt a cold chill run down your spine. For a moment you thought about turning yourself in, then the image of all those girls you had seen suffer or even die for what they had done to their wings came into your mind, and so you began to run even harder, until you found yourself in front of a cave. You had found it a while ago, trying to catch something in the woods, and it had seemed like a good hiding place. You told your sisters to go inside, while you went for a second to retrieve some weapons you had hidden in a hollow log two minutes away from there, intimating to them to keep quiet if they did not want to be discovered. Yet all was in vain.

One minute. Sixty seconds. Twenty blinks. One moment.

It only took a moment to kill your sisters. Your uncle found them, and because they tried to escape he killed them on the spot, stabbing them in the stomach.

You arrived at the moment when you saw the youngest among the three of you fall, the one who being the eldest daughter you had the pleasure of holding first, while the middle one was already on the ground lifeless. You saw in her eyes the life slip away, like sand running through your fingers.

"So you won't run away like your useless sister." Said your uncle, looking at her handiwork before turning away. "Where is he right now, anyway? He abandoned you, he doesn't even have the courage to face me, yet he has the courage to leave you here to die." He continued.

"Turn around asshole, and face your fate." Whispers your sister, dying, amid blood spit on the ground and moans of pain. "I hope his blade is as sharp as your tongue." She continues, before telling you with her lips that she loved you, and then letting the life that animated her flow out of her.

Your uncle turned and for a moment his face was crossed with pure and simple fear, coming the anger that animated your face. A few simple sword movements, and in a few seconds he was in front of you on his knees, praying to your goodness, which in his regard had left you years ago. Blood gushed from his lips like lava from a volcano as you watched life fade away behind his tar-black pupils.

"I hope you will suffer as much as you made us suffer, and that Mother will have a special punishment for you. You killed the only family I had left, and for that I will take from you what you took from me: life." You said, looking down into his eyes. He spat in your face in response.

"Do you think you are so much better than me? You too will take the life of another human being, even your hands will be stained with blood, you and I are not much different." He said, before spitting more blood at my feet. "Besides, do you really think they will not notice that I am not going back to the village? Do you really think they won't come looking for me and find you here with all these dead people? Do you think you'll get away with it? O deluded little bitch, they will kill you, and then there we will be in the same cage before Lucifer."

"See you in hell then." You whispered before finally cutting his neck and letting his blood create a pool at your feet.

For hours you felt like an automaton as you carried your uncle's body out of the cave and buried it not far from there. Once you had stowed away all the earth, you turned to where your sisters still lay and for the first time truly felt their death strike you with an axe blow to the chest, whereas before you were too busy still brooding over anger and revenge. In a few steps you found yourself on the ground, your hands grasping their bloody clothes as you clutched them to your chest, crying hot and bitter tears. You screamed in every language you knew against every deity you remembered, as you begged anyone to take you in their place and let them live their lives. You spent the whole night crying and screaming, so much so that by morning you had no voice left. Once the sun came up you realized what you looked like. Your arms were completely bloody, especially your hands, where blood had even gone under your fingernails. Long minutes passed before you conceived the fact that you had to bury your sisters as well. This time, however, was different. You found a beautiful clearing full of lavender flowers and laughed at the irony. You had always loved lavender very much, and your sisters always teased you about it, and now the place where they would find peace would be just that. You slowly dug two pits next to each other in the shade of a willow tree, and gently placed their bodies, wrapped in blankets, as tears continued to stream down your face. You looked one last time at their bodies, so small and helpless at that moment, before covering them with the earth. Once finished you lay there on top of them, waiting for the dead to come for you too, feeling guilty for their death and for killing a man, seeing the blood still staining your hands. You screamed, cried again as you had done the night before, then you heard a rustling in the plants, and like a vision your sisters appeared to you holding hands with your mother, surrounded by shadows. By now it had become night, but you did not even realize it too engrossed in crying.

Immediately you were frightened by the scene and jumped to your feet, then you calmed down and realized that you had not gone crazy, but there were really them in front of you. You ran toward them, and tried to hug each of them three times, failing, and falling all three times into the void. Immediately the tears came back to you.

"I thought I was dead. I thought I had atoned for my sins, and instead I'm still here. I don't deserve to live, please do something help me." You asked, kneeling in front of them, looking down, and at that moment you felt like a gust of wind settling on your shoulder, so you looked up and saw that your mother had placed her hand on his shoulder and was looking at you fondly.

"My child, do not think that our death is your fault. You, on the contrary, did everything you could do. You must keep fighting, you cannot let yourself go like this. You must live for us, too." She said, but you shook your head, not believing you could.

"I am not so strong mom, I allowed them to hurt them. I-I don't think I can go on alone anymore. I am not strong enough." You whisper, as you go back to slump on the ground.

"Don't even think that. You have come this far, you must live for us too. We will never abandon you, we will become your janitors." She said making a gesture to indicate the shadows that surrounded her and your sisters. As if they understood the topic of conversation they moved toward you, twisting like a snake along your arms, until they reached your ear and whispered something to you. You were not even surprised to understand them, no matter how surreal this situation was. You watched intently as those night-colored pythons came to life around you, until you looked up again and saw that your mother was now retreating with your sisters, back to where they had come from.

"Where are you going!? Don't leave me!" You screamed, getting up and running toward them, but the shadows held you, like worried hands holding someone dear.

"You can't follow us where we go love, now we have to go back where we came from, we have already been away too much according to the rules. Take care dear and remember we love you. Enjoy every second of your life, don't remember the past, create a new future." Those were your mother's last words to you as your sisters waved goodbye, also with tears in their eyes.

At that moment I became a shadowsinger.

And so you returned to being alone, in the middle of the night, surrounded by shreds of darkness that moved with a life of their own.

"My lady must go and wash the blood off her clothes, and she will attract wild animals." The shadows say in your ear, as they urge you to get up. You resist a little at first, to be guided by them, who like an invisible wet nurse took care of you, for the first few days where you still had to get used to the situation. A week later you were fully back to yourself, and nothing could stop you. You kept moving from one place to another so they would not find you until one morning you heard a rustling among the plants, but your shadows that time told you something different that struck you.

"Honey, this time the one chasing us is someone like you." They said, as you were setting a new trap to catch some small game.

"Like us, you mean another shadowsinger?" You asked confused, torn between wanting to escape and wanting to know.

"That's right honey." They replied, before going forward.

A few minutes passed before a man, an Illyrian, emerged from behind the plants, but you soon realized that you did not know him.

"Hello." He said first, smiling slightly as he put his hands forward to show you that he had no hidden weapons to hurt you. "I would just like to talk to you."

You looked at him wary, then you saw a shadow emerge from his back, exactly like those adorning your shoulders, and immediately you felt understood. You saw his shadows go to his ears, as if to report something to him, and immediately his eyes widened as his face changed, looking at you with sorry eyes and a sorrowful smile on his lips.

"You are also like me. "You affirmed as you approached, he without warning embraced you, holding your slender, exhausted body in his mighty arms.

"I'm sorry." He said in a choked voice as he gently stroked your back. "Who has passed away?" He asked, trying to understand how you had managed to get what for him was a curse.

"My mother and sisters. They failed to protect them. My mother I failed to save all those years ago, while the others I left alone, and my uncle killed them." You whispered, as you let go in his arms in a desperate cry.

"Then you really are the girl from the village they are looking for." He said as he looked into your eyes, and you saw tears forming in his, as if he also remembered at this moment a past and distant pain, still alive in him though. "They sent me to find you, saying that a crazy dangerous murderer, but I think they actually are." He continues laughing, before asking another question. "Where is your uncle?"

"I killed him." You said in a hard, impassive voice and then looked at him coldly, or at least tried to, but the fear you were feeling clearly shone through your eyes. "I will accept whatever punishment you want to give me, but please don't take me back there. I ran away because they wanted to clip my wings, and now I'm afraid of what they would have in store for me, and I suspect it's worse than death." You asked, as more tears ran down your face.

He shook his head, before taking off his jacket and laying it on your shoulders.

"My dear, you will come with me, I will never take you back to that shitty place." He said softly as he stroked your face, and for the first time you felt the scars adorning his palms, and you were shocked by the contrast between his soft voice and his rough skin.

"I am Azriel, the High Lord's chief spy, and you will come with me to Velaris, where I will teach you everything I know about the shadows we share. After all, I've always wanted a little sister, and I'm sure Cassian will be impressed with your skills as well." He said, as he pointed you to a place in the forest devoid of trees. "I have to warn you though, we're a little crazy as a family." He continued, but you froze.

"Wait, I have to do something first." You said before running one last time to that lavender field, to which you had gone every day to see your sisters.

"It's not goodbye, it's goodbye. I will be back soon, as soon as I can. I love you all. I will live for you." You confessed at their graves, amid sobs before returning to Azriel.

He looked at you with compassion and together you took off into the air, and only when you arrived in Velaris did you realize that your life had really changed, and that a new adventure was beginning.

"Hey baby all right?" You eventually hear Azriel's voice, concerned, as he leans over the table to take your hands. You are the only one with whom he shows physical affection, trusting only you, and of course Gwyn, whom you regard as a mother.

Over time your relationship has proven to be more like that between a father and a daughter than between a brother and a sister. He has from the very beginning taken care of you, and you of him at times when he needed it, you have always supported each other, and a bond flows between you that is stronger than just a blood bond. You look into his eyes and see his doubt gripping him, but it still does not invade your mind, leaving you space. Nyx also seems to have quieted down. You and he have never gotten along too well, ever since you first met. You have been part of the Inner circle for ten years now, but the two of you only met five years ago, since he was studying on the mainland before that.

He, from the beginning saw you as a rival, and even being a couple of years younger, felt that his place as a protected and beloved prince of the court was being undermined by you.

He never understood the real reason why his uncle took you with them, and that was also because you had never shared your story with anyone outside of Az and his mate, not wanting others to see you as weak.

"Yeah all right, I was thinking about how not to kill that asshole during the mission." You say, trying to sound convincing, and apparently succeeding because everyone is giggling, outside of Az and Nyx who don't look very convinced.

"Oh come on Lucifer, we both know that the better of the two is me." He tries to comment, but you can still read the uncertainty in his eyes not believing your words.

"In your dreams Acheron." You answer, trying to let the nickname pass.

The next day, at dawn you find yourself on a mission in the woods near where you had grown up. A feeling of fear covers your heart and mind ever since you set foot here. Like a flooding river, memories of your childhood wash over you. Rhysand didn't know this place was steeped in trauma for you, or he wouldn't have assigned it to you, but if you had told him, you would have proven yourself unequal to your role as his court's deputy spy chief, unable to separate work and private life.

"We need to go to an Illyrian camp nearby, apparently there has been some insubordination." Nyx tells you, not remembering that you were also at the meeting her father had to describe the mission. "Hey, you look pale, are you okay?" He asks worriedly, turning to look at you.

"Since when do you worry about me Acheron? Aren't you getting soft?" You say, stepping past him as with confident steps of someone who has been down that road a billion times before, you move like a snake, with elegance and fluidity, through the trees of the forest. Out of the corner of your eye you see the boy step into a trap, which has been there since you were a child, which an old hunter always puts in that hole.

"Be careful putting your foot there, there is a trap." You say atonically as you continue walking. He stops and looks carefully at where he was about to walk to see that indeed you were right.

"Well I'd say you're mellowing, too, honey. Is the cold-hearted witch thawing out?" He asks with amusement as you without stopping or turning around give him the middle finger.

"I love you too baby." He continues, in response to your gesture, and you shake your head in response as you can't suppress a silly little smile appearing on your face.

"How did you know there was a trap anyway, it was really very well hidden." Comments the prince of the night, as he takes great strides to catch up with you.

You pause for a second, thinking whether to tell him the truth or tell him to go to hell again. You don't know what is getting into you but this place makes your head spin, and you feel like a poor, lonely, helpless girl again. The shadows surround you like a shield since you arrived, as if they, too, sense the familiarity of that place. You look into his violet eyes, which in the little sunshine coming in through the tree foliage, take on a lavender-like hue, and again it feels as if a prick comes sharply into your stomach and knocks you to the ground.

You see in his expression concern and sincerity, and this sends your system into a tailspin, which, as if it were nothing, opens up a deep, private part of you to him.

"I grew up here, I know these woods well." You say not looking into his eyes, too caught up in your emotions that are running through you right now. The shadows close even tighter between you, almost creating a cocoon.

"I didn't know that." He replies.

"Nobody knows, nobody but Az and Gwyn." You counter.

"He found you here then." The boy affirms, while in the shadows he tries to look around.

"Yes, not far from here." And you almost can't hold between your lips <<and near here I buried my sisters, a little farther away instead is the cave where they died at the hands of my uncle, whom I killed and buried near there>>, but fortunately you manage to hold back.

A few seconds pass in which neither of you really knows what to say, until you decide to confess other things.

"Nyx, the village we are going to is the one I ran away from when I was 20 years old with my sisters. Everyone there hates me, but I don't even think they would recognize me, however, I wanted to tell you before you see doing something stupid and reckless for no reason. At least you know some context, it seemed right to tell you." You say as you resume walking, but he grabs one of your two wrists with his hand and stops you.

"How come you ran away?" He asks with a seriousness you think you've never seen in him before.

"They wanted to take away the only thing that made me free: my wings." You answer with equal seriousness as I see his jaw twitch in anger.

"Who wanted to do this to you? Your parents?" He asks as disgust is evident from his tone.

"No, it's a long story." You try to answer without giving too much information, but immediately you feel something, guilt, making its way inside you. "Maybe someday I will tell you, but this is neither the place nor the time to do so." You continue, before starting to move along the forest. Nyx does not counter and follows your steps silently, always, however, staying close to you and in silence, as if she has that at this moment, the slightest thing could destabilize you and that you need someone right now, who without your asking, should help you survive from drowning in your memories.

You arrive at the village shortly after, and for a moment you feel like you have traveled through time. Nothing has changed since you left, and that gives you the chills. Immediately people begin to look at you askance, and within seconds you find the village chief standing in front of you. He is still the same as when you were there, an elderly gentleman with poor eyesight and a big heart. He was the only one who supported your choice to keep your wings, but the council had overtaken him and there was nothing he could do about it, he had confessed to you once while your family was still waiting for you to bleed, but he was already deciding your future. He looks at you with squinted eyes, trying to focus on your figure.

"Hello, we are here about the small riot that happened here a few days ago. The High Lord sent us." Says Nyx casually, with a smile on his face. You had decided before you left not to say your identities right away, so as not to arouse hatred as soon as you arrived, but you obviously hadn't told Nyx about why, though now he knows.

"Oh certainly, this way guys." Says the elderly gentleman, smiling at us. "But you didn't have to go to all that trouble, it was just a bunch of stupid kids who decided to make some trouble. There was no need for the High Lord to send any of his people, but we really appreciate you coming." He continues, as we cross the main street of the village.

"High Lord Rhysand is keen to let it be known that he is always available to his subjects when needed." Nyx replies very diplomatically, as he has been taught. You stop and stare at him, as you walk along, and think that deep down all those girls falling at his feet are not wrong. He is one of the most handsome boys you have ever seen, if not the most handsome of them all, with those violet eyes and perpetually disheveled night-colored hair. He is smart, but at the same time reckless, funny and kind, in short the perfect boy everyone dreams of. Immediately you freeze, and blush when you realize what you're thinking. You hear the shadows laughing in your ear, hearing your thoughts, and you under your breath curse them. You look around and realize you've stopped in front of what used to be your little piece of heaven: the bookstore. It was a tiny, musty place, and full of dusty old shelves, and run by a sweet and loving little lady, whom you treated like children.

When you were little, you spent hours in there, so much so that eventually the lady hired you as an assistant, making sure that your aunt and uncle didn't force you to stop going to that place to go to work.

It was never very busy, but it had a small circle of trusted customers.

Now, however, it is a ruined place. The window glass is broken, and the now-worn sign has fallen down. The shelves have all fallen, one on top of the other like bodies of soldiers wounded in battle, piled on top of each other. A dusty mist fills the store, while on the ground one can still see marks left by flames, while nothing but ashes remain of the books.

Nyx seeing that you stopped, stops in turn, apologizing to the village chief, and coming to see if you were okay.

"Hey, are you okay Lucifer? If you want, you can wait in one spot, and I'd be back to you in five minutes, I swear I'd be quick and then we'd run right out of here and not look back. You don't have to do all this if you can't." The boy says sympathetically as he takes your hand in his. That gesture makes you turn toward him, and then look at the older gentleman who has also turned back, and he looks at you smiling.

"I felt like I knew that smile." He says, looking at you as he strokes your face with one hand. "It seems like a lifetime since you and your sisters left. I see that life has treated you well." He continues happily, and you feel a pang in your heart.

"Life apparently has only treated me well." You say while remaining vague, and immediately he seems to understand, and with a sweet gesture, typical of a grandfather toward his granddaughter, he kisses your forehead lovingly.

"I'm sorry little witch." He whispers, and you smile at the nickname, which he had given you when you were still playing at making potions out of mud in the camp.

Nyx meanwhile was looking at you more and more confused, but he does not ask you anything, realizing that this is not the time for his questions. The shadows move agitated, too caught up in all those emotions.

"What happened to the bookstore?" You ask worriedly. "Is the lady okay?"

"She passed away shortly after you left. Her family did not take care of the store and let vandals destroy it." Confessed the elderly gentleman, sorry.

You are about to respond, angry at the people who allowed part of your childhood to be set on fire, when you hear a voice from down the street that chills the blood in your veins, that of your aunt.

...to be continued...

TAGLIST

@winchestergirl222

• @nothingimportentreally

• @duda

• @itsmeseph

• @lys-neyr8

• @nyotamalfoy

• @anonimusy

• @marigold-morelli

• @luna-1-3-5

• @esposadomd

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• @humanpersonlasttimeichecked

@backups-backups

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@e_dollly

[niningtori]

see me | chapter three: just out of reach

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to accept your fate as hopeless. choi beomgyu has other plans, though. or, beomgyu's your best friend's little brother and he's tired of you treating him like a kid.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending, best friend's brother au

word count: 2.2k

notes: it's my favorite person's birthday, so of course i have to post. i love beomgyu so much, y'all. also, i really do plan on making a masterlist soon i SWEAR. i just haven't yet :,). see end of work for more notes :)

beomgyu tries every trick in the book, but nothing seems to help. he tries lessening the gap between you physically to see if it translates to emotionally, but you just brush off every encounter like he's some fucking kid tugging on the back of a grownup's shirt.

he puts on the clothes that he knows suit him best, the ones that drive all the girls crazy, but the most you ever do is compliment him with "i like your shirt, beomie!" and ruffle his silky hair just like you always have.

he even tries lowering his already baritone voice and whispering seductively from behind you, but all you do is ask him if there's something in his throat and giggle as his breath tickles your ear. it feels like he's putting on an entire monkey show for a brick wall, that's about how unresponsive you are to his advances. he almost wonders how you even got into your past relationships in the first place because you seem so oblivious it hurts.

"quick, what else can i do to get her to fall for me?" he texts his friends in a crisis. the trip is over tomorrow and he's made no material progress. he looks to them for the millionth time this week and by now they're all thinking the same thing: it's hopeless. still, the more pitying ones, kai and soobin, tiptoe around that thought while yeonjun and taehyun tell him in no uncertain terms that this entire endeavor is fruitless. it stings, if he's being honest, but in a way, he kind of knows they're right. he's becoming increasingly less subtle, but you seem to be unmoved by every action.

-

"why don't we go to a bar tonight?" yijun suggests in honor of your last night of vacation.

"i'm in," jia replies with a smile.

you heartily agree and decide to dress yourself up a little more than usual. your self confidence has taken yet another blow from yet another unfaithful partner, so the act of putting on makeup and a pretty outfit does wonders for your confidence, but beomgyu is more anxious than ever when he spots you in the outfit you've chosen for the bar. you're always pretty to him, as cliché and insincere as that may sound, but he knows you'll be turning even more heads than usual tonight. he imagines a man piquing your interest right in front of him and it makes his stomach churn. no way in hell is he gonna let that happen —

— is what he says, at least. but some random stranger piquing your interest is the least of his worries now that you're actually at the bar. never in his wildest dreams did he foresee what is actually happening before him right now, which is you being pulled away with a dazed look on your face by none other than doyoon himself.

"what the fuck is he doing here?" and it sounds so much like his own inner monologue he almost thinks it was he himself who said it, but he turns and sees jia with her signature scowl and knows it was actually her.

"that's what i wanna know," beomgyu mumbles.

"who is that?" yijun asks cluelessly.

"that's doyoon," jia answers with venom laced in her tone.

"oh shit, the doyoon?"

"the one and only," jia sneers. "fuck it, i'm going to get her!"

"baby, no," yijun reasons incredibly patiently. "you've gotta let her make decisions for herself. let her do what she needs to do."

"what she needs to do is get her ass back here."

"don't you trust her?" he asks with a frown.

"when it comes to doyoon? nope. not at all." beomgyu flinches at this. he'd been there and heard firsthand just how desperate you were to keep a connection with doyoon after your breakup. there were countless times when he overheard jia scolding you for texting him even after he essentially ripped your heart out, set it ablaze, and stomped on the ashes.

"you shouldn't have to beg somebody to love you, you know?" he remembers jia reasoning.

"i know that, it's just — i just really love him. i don't know who i am without him," you said between tears.

"that's exactly why you don't need him," jia replied softly.

he stopped listening after that. his heart broke with yours for the first — and certainly not the last — time.

beomgyu can't take it. honestly? you haven't even been gone for very long, but when he thinks of the fact that you're out talking to doyoon of all people, he can't help but take a large gulp of whatever liquor he can get his hands on. he's very obviously staring at you talking to doyoon, but you seem without a care in the world if the smile on your face is any indication as to how you're feeling. he can feel the fiery alcohol bubbling up in his stomach as it churns at the possibilities of what could be happening between you two. are you letting him back into your life? does that sentiment even apply when his mark seems to have never really left in the first place? he doesn't know. if he thinks about it carefully, maybe he never wants to know.

-

"how are you?" doyoon asks with the charming smile you used to love so much.

"i..." you hesitate to answer. if you're being honest, you're not doing too hot at the moment and haven't been in a very long time. doyoon seems to take your hesitation as an answer in and of itself.

"yeah, i'm not doing so well, either," he says with a ghost of a smile.

"really?" you ask, head whipping up towards him before you can reel yourself back in. doyoon was always doing well, and even when he wasn't, nobody would be able to tell.

"really."

"why not?" you can't help but ask.

"if i told you my career is at a dead end, would you laugh and tell me i deserve it?"

"... i don't know."

"thank you for not knowing instead of just saying you would," he laughs. "you know, you're a lot kinder than i ever deserved for you to be." you're taken aback by this. you can't believe he's referencing your past relationship in a positive way. after your one-sided breakup, you tried to keep in contact with him in every way possible until he straight up told you you were being pathetic. his words, not your own. what you're even more surprised at, however, is how much you don't care. your heart doesn't seem to clench at the mere sight of his face, let alone at his emotionally provocative words.

"you know, i have no right to say this, but i'm going to, anyway. i'm sorry for what i did to you. really, i am. and if you ever want to get a drink with me sometime, i'd really like to make it up to you."

"i can't believe you have the nerve to say that to me," you counter without missing a beat, shocking even yourself. it only takes you about a millisecond to realize how much you mean it, though. doyoon is floored, to say the very least, but he regains his composure smoothly, just like he always does.

"i figured, but i still thought i'd ask. i know you have someone now, too. i guess it's shameless of me to ask." you stare at him quizzically. could he be talking about donghyun? he can't be. there's no way he'd know about him.

"what do you mean?"

"oh wow, i'm surprised he hasn't told you yet."

"wait, what? who?" you're a little tipsy, so his circuitous way of talking is making your head spin.

"well, if you don't know, i'm sure you will soon," he smirks as he locks eyes with beomgyu, who is currently glaring daggers at him from across the bar.

"i'll let you go," he sighs. "it was nice talking to you, even if you secretly want me to fuck off and never speak to me again." you actually crack a smile at this.

"you know what? it was nice talking to you, too."

you needed this. you needed some tangible closure and you finally have it. as you walk back to your party, you feel lighter than you have in a long, long time. you're finally prepared to fully let go.

-

the night sky is alight with white stars and the salty air is cool against your bare legs. the sound of waves billowing back and forth lull you into a trance, but your reverie is broken by the sound of someone stumbling behind you.

"beomie?"

"hi," he greets a little too loudly while plopping down beside you unceremoniously. you can't help but giggle at how drunk he is. what a cute kid, you think.

"what are you doing out here so late? you should be sleeping it off by now," you tease, nudging his shoulders with yours. you almost notice him lean into your touch, but you don't quite catch it.

"just wanna think," he says.

"about what?"

"a lot of things," he shrugs. you hum in understanding.

"you know, we never got to finish our conversation the other day. what's been bugging you lately?"

he pauses for a moment.

"i'm kinda hung up on someone, honestly," he admits with a lopsided smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes and you're genuinely stunned. he's never been particularly open about any girls he's been involved with, though there have been many based on what jia says. you'd be lying if you said you're not curious to know what kind of girl has the power to make the seemingly impenetrable beomgyu anxious, but you're mainly worried about how he's feeling.

"oh no, what happened?" you ask, sincerely concerned.

"nothing happened," he deadpans. "nothing ever happens. that's the problem." your brows knit in confusion.

"so you haven't made a move on her? why?" you can't fathom why beomgyu of all people would feel like this. he's never seemed to have an issue with getting whoever and whatever he wanted.

"i've tried, but i don't think she's interested in me in that way," he hints as nonchalantly as he can manage in his decidedly not-so-sober state. truthfully, he's not doing the best job at being discreet, either. but you don't notice a thing.

"i don't think that's true. i'm sure if you opened up to her she'd like you. you just have to be vulnerable and who knows? maybe she's interested but just doesn't know how to say it. she probably thinks you don't like her, honestly." his hazy eyes light up with hope. do you know you're the girl in question? are you both talking around the same point?

"you really think so?" he asks, heart racing. even through his drunkenness, he's putting the pieces together, albeit incorrectly.

"of course i do! i mean, you're a catch," you giggle and his heart flutters. "just be yourself and i'm sure you'll get somewhere with her. you can be so hard to read sometimes. maybe she just needs a little push?" the next second, your breath hitches as you feel warm lips latching onto yours. beomgyu is gripping your face with an intensity you've never known before. his lips are nice and warm, if a little chapped, while his eyes are scrunched shut with his long, dark eyelashes trembling in the moonlight. you gasp when he trails his hand down to the small of your back and he takes the opportunity to enter your mouth with his alcohol-laden tongue wrapping around yours. it's easy to melt into the feeling of pure heat with someone, especially when you're tipsy, so you do. you feel yourself melting further into his touch, but when he moans into the kiss, you finally register exactly who that someone is and push him off in a hurry.

"what the hell are you doing?!" you exclaim. you're panting now, face flushed and lips swollen, all thanks to him. he's absolutely fascinated by that fact. hypnotized, even.

"what do you mean?" he asks while blinking his big, watery eyes. he looks so innocent you almost can't believe he's the one who was snaking his tongue down your throat mere moments ago. oh. his tongue was down your throat mere moments ago. the thought itself has you sputtering out questions before your mind can quite catch up.

"w-what do you mean what do i mean? why'd you k-kiss me?"

"'cause i wanted to. 'cause i love you."

the world around you implodes and alarms blare in your ear. what the hell? you've only ever seen beomgyu as a good friend and maybe even a brother, but this? this was simply unprecedented. you would've never in a million years guessed that he harbored even a fraction of a non-platonic feeling for you. he must be drunk out of his fucking mind.

"i just love you so much," he slurs with his lisp in full effect. it's almost as if he can hear your thoughts and is intent on dispelling them.

you hesitate to reply and have the sorriest look on your face, so even in his current state he immediately understands that he misread the signs.

"beomie," you begin slowly and he winces. "i don't—"

"hey, i know. you don't have to tell me. i know," he says simply. "i was the one who misunderstood. you can forget this ever happened." he rises from your side and starts to walk away.

"beomie, wait!" you exclaim.

and, of course, he waits. you've always been able to gently twist his heartstrings in between your fingertips.

"yes?"

"i'm just.. i just don't want to lose you. you mean so much to me."

"you won't." and you never will. that's the problem.

you're at a loss for words, but he just smiles as if he already understands everything you can't seem to verbalize and it breaks your heart. why does it feel like he's the one babying you? with that, he turns away and resumes walking back to the house. you don't stop him this time. you don't have the guts to.

notes pt. 2: r u mad at me? i know i said this will probably be the final chapter, but there's so much more to say. i'm thinking there will probably be one or two more before i finally feel like the story has run its course. also, my pacing is so shit but i'm working on it <3 bear with me please! also, feedback is always appreciated! i'm a words of affirmation kind of gal.

[ghuleh-recs]

It's @chapel-of-rizztual's birthday!! So obviously I had to make us a mixtape of my favorite rizz fics. I was stoked to make this one because it meant I got to reread some of my favorite ghoul smut 😈 If you follow rizz you know what a joy it is to realize you're both on tumblr at the same time. You'll notice your feed slowly being taken over in the best possible way by a wonderful stream of consciousness reblogging spree. I have to add that chapel-of-rizztual is so damn supportive of fellow creatives, as well--sharing anything and everything we make. So let's all treat ourselves to some s tier ghoul smut in rizz's honor and maybe leave a comment or two as a lil' bday treat. ♡

recs under the cut.

In the heat of the moment - phantom x rain x mountain (polyghouls)

“Shit, I’m sorry-I didn’t realise.” He raises his arms as Rain pulls a clean hoodie on him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” Rain chuckles lightly, running a hand across Phantoms chest, smoothing out the hoodie. “You’re in heat, darling. I wouldn’t expect anything different.” He blinks up confusedly at Rain trying to take in what he’d just said to him. “I-what? What!?” Or…. Phantom goes into heat onstage but doesn’t realise because it’s his first one topside.

The only exception - aether x dewdrop

Aether smiles sweetly at him, brushing a few stray hairs from his face. “You feel better after that, Honeydrop?” Dew nods, not trusting his voice. His eyes drop down to Aethers lips for a spit second before looking back into his eyes. Aether chuckles lightly. “You want a kiss, darling?” Dew nods again and Aether surges forward to capture Dews lips in his. He gives Dew a few little pecks before pulling back. Dew whines and follows his lips. “More.” He whispered. Aether cradles his cheek and pull him in for another kiss, a proper kiss thins time, not just little pecks. Dew let’s Aether lead the the kiss, letting himself melt completely into it with a contented sigh. Or… After a stressful day Dewdrop finds himself seeking comfort from the one ghoul he trusts the most.

tumblr ficlet - lingerie - cumulus x mountain x swiss x phantom x rain

“I-uh- well, we? We all saw it in the shopping centre the other day. And we all thought- well it’s just- we all thought of you? So…yeah.” Mountain fidgets nervously as he edges his way towards the door. “I’m-uh- going back to my room, the other are also there. You can-Uh-you can join us when you unwrap it.” He seem to snap out his nervousness for a second. “If you want! There’s no pressure! I just..yeah, no pressure.” He gives her an awkward thumbs up and slips out the door without another word. Cumulus would laugh at him if she wasn’t so excited to find out what was making him so nervous. She tears the paper from the box, giggling and rolling her eyes when she recognises the lingerie brand that’s stamped on the box. Typical Boys.

Don't want to close my eyes - mountain & aether (& dew)

Mountain’s insomnia has been flaring up recently, the past few weeks he’d been getting less and less sleep each night, which led to the last couple of nights where he’d been unable to sleep. Tossing turning in his bed, eyes heavy, unable to switch his brain off. He’d given up trying to sleep tonight. His room felt too suffocating, too familiar, the endless tossing and turning had become boring. Or… Mountain hasn’t been sleeping. Aether helps.

With desire flowing through my veins - copia x mountain

After realising no one had seen Mountain for almost a week, Copia, riddled with anxiety and worry, sets out to find the Earth Ghoul. He gets a little more then he bargained for when he does eventually find him.

tumblr ficlet - first time - dewdrop x phantom

Despite what everyone thought, Dew liked the new ghoul. Sure, he wasn’t Aether, but Dew didn’t think that was a bad thing. He liked how easy the new ghoul was. How desperate for attention he was, how he’d do anything with a simple command, no fighting back. Dew liked how much control he had over him, something he never really had before, he liked how he could do anything to the new ghoul and he didn’t even question it, he’s just happy to be getting the attention he desperately wanted.

tumblr ficlet - body worship - copia x dewdrop

It was a joke. A self deprecating one, but a joke non the less. And it had made the congregation at mass laugh, all be it an awkward laugh, but it was a laugh and Copia was taking that as a win.  Dew didn’t find it funny. If he’s being honest he didn’t really understand what Copia was trying to get at, he’d always viewed the man as some above godly creature, so to hear him say something so…low about himself made an uneasy feeling swirl in his belly. 

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[andromeda-nova-writing]

The Honor of Trying Not to Step on Your Foot

Fem!Reader

Summary: Wriothesley had a habit of skipping out on the more formal events within Fontaine. It was a habit he would not be breaking anytime soon, but he usually tried to at least show up for ten minutes before trying to slip away. Sometimes he would get lucky with something happening at the fortress. Normally he would just send Sigewinne in his place but circumstances at the Fortress require both of them to stay behind unknowing of if they will even show up.

Words: 2,502

AN: It's my birthday week and I choose the self-indulgence fic to post. And sometimes a girl dreams of a dance that never happened. Happy early birthday to me. In seriousness. I used this as a chance to practice writing for Navia.

“So are you here under medical personnel for Fontaine?” Naiva asked as the two of them looked over the selection of macaroons Before them.

“No. They don't invite pharmacists to these soirées usually.” Y/N answered. 

Naiva smiled at her downplaying the event they were at. “So you're here with your mother. Some big shot invite the two of you to show off her artwork?” She guessed again.

“Nope. My mom is at home painting for some big shot though.” Y/N laughed at how she could see the wheels turning in her head trying to guess what was going on.

Naiva frowned with worry. “Please tell me you aren't back together with that guy.” She stated with worry thinking about how often Y/N was at events like this during her previous engagement.

“No. That guy could eat dirt for all I care. I cut him off for good.” She reminded her.

Relief washed over her face. “That's good. I was afraid that I was about to talk you out of that relationship for the night.” It was something Navia only brought up cause she knew for a fact that she saw Y/N’s ex earlier when she got here.

“You know I could tell you why I'm here instead of guessing.”

“And take all the fun out of me using my detective skills? No way. It's been a minute since I've seen you. We should have fun with this.”

Y/N laughed. “Okay. Have your fun. Do you want a hint?”

“A small one.”

“I'm here in place of someone in case they can't show up.”

“Did something happen?”

“Yes, but it's not like they enjoy showing up to these events anyway.”

Naiva racked her brain thinking over the details she knew about Y/N’s life. “Are you two close?”

“Yes.” She smiled as she thought of the person Naiva tried to guess.

“Do you work with this person?” 

“More of for.” She answered even though it wasn’t fully accurate. 

Naiva took a bite of a macaroon to fuel her brain as she thought of why Y/N could be here. “Are you here for Wriothesley or Sigewinne?”

“Both.”

“Both?”

“Mostly for Wriothesley. Sigewinne still may show up. She's excited to see Neuvillette.” Y/N explained. “I got called to show up here last minute.”

“Oh, why's that?” 

“Something happened at the Fortress. I don't know the details though. If I wasn't told that I would have thought Wriothesley was just trying to get out of a public appearance again.”

Naiva laughed. “I heard that Charlotte plans on camping out just to get an interview from him.”

Y/N shook her head. “Poor girl. She's not getting one.”

“You have to admire her determination at least.” 

“That you do.” Y/N began moving away from the dessert table they were standing at with Naiva following. “So you and Clorinde? How's reconnecting going?”

“It's been going well. We even found a new tabletop game to try out. It's not exactly like old times but it's still good.” She explained. “She even helped me pick out a dress for this evening.”

“Ah, that sounds like it was fun. At least one of you gets to have fun dressing up. Even though Furina isn't in charge anymore, she still ends up having to work on these events. Probably be more enjoyable as a guest.”

“I feel like that depends on the company you have around you during these. Also when you dance cause you want to and not cause you’re being shown off.” 

Naiva laughed. “Well, have you gotten the chance to dance yet?”

“I was asked before I found you over here but there’s only one person I really want to dance with and that’s not guaranteed. Plus dancing with someone who demands you use their full title is such a turnoff.” Y/N reasoned.

She laughed. “Well, you are at least doing a great job representing the current administration of the Fortress.”

“Except that Wriothesley likes his title, he just hates just about everything else that title requires of him.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “I swear anytime I hear someone refer to him as “Your Grace,” I think I’m going to go insane.”

“So what do you call him while you are working down there?”

“His name usually.”

“Usually?” She teased.

“Also ‘Ri’. I’ve known him long enough for him to have a nickname for him.”

“I’ve known you longer and I don’t have a nickname.”

“You don’t have a name I had to spend a week to remember how to spell.” Y/N reasoned.

Navia frowned. “I’ll give you that.” She would have to live a life without a nickname from her. Oh well. “So you still want to dance for fun?”

“Are you offering?” She remembered the last time she danced with Navia at one of these events. “Last time you stepped on my foot.”

“It was an accident. How many times do I have to apologize?”

“Until someone steps on my foot worse.”

“Ugh. You know I hope you step on someone's foot one day so you would know how bad I feel.” 

“That wouldn't happen though. My mother put me through so many dancing and singing classes as a kid. Such is being a child of a family of artists, I know too many artistic talents even if I won't use them.”

“Well, you should use one of them now. It's either dancing or eating more desserts.”

“Well, will one of my dearest friends care to dance?” Y/N asked with a playful curtsy. 

“I would love the honor of trying not to step on your foot.” She accepted mimicking her actions with a laugh.

The two of them moved across the ballroom not taking the dance too seriously. There was the occasional twirl of each other every now and then. It was loose and fun. Their dance wasn’t anywhere as formal as anyone else on the floor. It was something that reminded Y/N how much she missed dancing.

Even though she worked in Fontaine above and the underworld she still had time for her hobbies. Most of her hobbies now had become reading books and being a model for one of her mother’s paintings when she needed a reference—maybe baking as well. However, that was more of a hobby she picked up from being friends with Navia. It was fun to exchange recipes. 

It was during one of the times Navia was spinning her that she had flung her right into a person. It happened so quickly that she didn't even see who it was right away. Naiva let out a laugh letting go of Y/N’s hand.

“So sorry.” Y/N looked up at the person she was apologizing to. “You made it.” She moved into a hug which Wriothesley returned.

“I got everything taken care of. I don’t think Sigewinne was going to let me even skip once I told her that you were here standing in for us.”

Navia looked over the two of them. For two people who were supposedly single, their actions said otherwise. She knew their working relationship had grown into a close friendship since Y/N had begun helping out in the infirmary of the Fortress. But even this was too intimate of a hug between just friends with how close they held each other. 

She had always kept her business with the Fortress to a minimum. All that the Spina di Rosula helped within the Fortress was supplies and logistics. In the meetings that she had with that man, she found it exhausting to only be improved by good tea. In all her interactions she couldn’t see any similarities between how he usually acted and how he was acting now.

His normally cold eyes were filled with so much warmth as he looked over Y/N. His hands lingered on her as they pulled apart from the hug. They looked as if everyone else here was invading what should have been a private moment.

Y/N turned with a hand pointing at Navia. It was almost like she had only just remembered that she was there as well. “It hasn’t been too boring at all. I’ve been in good company all night. I believe I don’t have to introduce the two of you.” 

“Are you two close?” Wriothesley asked. 

“My mother did a painting of her parents before they passed. So while my mother got the initial sketches, my grandmother tried to teach us how to cross stitch.”

“You had such a natural talent for it.” Navia thought back on the childhood memory.

“You must be misremembering. I couldn’t thread the needle and I kept picking colors that clashed.” Y/N explained.

Navia laughed. “I still have the little cross stitches we did in Poisson. They have a bit of water damage but it's still proof enough that you did well.”

Y/N shook her head. “It doesn’t matter when you are the one who kept the hobby. You could run circles around me now.” She looked back at Wriothesley finishing the answer to his question. “We don’t see each other too often but we try to keep in touch. Mostly letters in between meetings.”

Wriothesley took his hand off Y/N’s back. “Then I’ll let the two of you be. Maybe I can send you in place of me at these things with Navia here to keep you company. You both looked like you were having fun dancing.”

Navia could see his face fall a bit. Even though he could be annoying to work with he was at least respectful. But holding even the obvious to see cards against his chest was going to hurt him at least emotionally one day. Maybe she only thought that as someone who described even herself as having her heart on her sleeve. 

“Actually I stepped a bit weird while we were dancing. It would be best if I rest my ankle for now.” She lied. “You should take my place as her dance partner.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.” Wriothesley tried to turn down the idea. “You two could go sit and talk. The type of dancing I know involves a boxing ring anyway.”

Navia wanted to roll her eyes so badly. Why was he being so dense? Was he always this dense and she hadn't noticed it? “Her mother had her in so many dance classes that I'm sure she could teach you.”

“I wouldn't say I'm so good that I can teach?”

“You downplay yourself. Surely you've known her just long enough to know when she's being hard on herself.” Was it so hard for them to enjoy a bit of romance?

“I don't want to impose. I probably see her more than you anyway. You two should spend time together.” Wriothesley was not even going to have a chance to slip away from this. Events like this just always felt so stuffy to him. His shirt already felt buttoned up too high. He really thought he found a way out of this place.

Navia pinched the bridge of her nose before looking back at the two of them. She mentally apologized to Y/N. “I was told earlier how there was someone Y/N really wanted to dance with. Now she never told me who but I'm sure that wasn't with me.” She crossed her arms before continuing. “You two should enjoy yourselves. Y/N you'll be a wonderful teacher. I'm going to rest my ankle. Now would you please just dance with my friend.” It was more of a demand than a question.

Navia turned away, walking off perfectly fine for someone who said her ankle hurt from stepping wrong. She made a beeline over to where Clorinde, Sigewinne, and Neuvillette were talking. She must have already said something about what had happened as the three of them looked over at Wriothesley and Y/N. They all looked so tired and annoyed by their behavior.

Y/N turned her head to face Wriothesley. “Look, we don't have to dance if you don't want to. I know you would rather sneak away from here maybe find a nice bar and get a beer instead.”

Wriothesley smiled. “You aren't wrong. I just don't fit in here. I mean I showed up with a fresh cut on my face.” He pushed his bangs back showing off the wound that Sigewinne had already closed up. It wasn't anything too deep. Sigewinne even said that he would probably be healed in a day or two. His hand dropped back to his side letting his hair fall back in place.

Y/N laughed. “I was going to say you just look uncomfortable. You usually have your tie so loose. I don't think I've ever seen it on you properly.”

“Looks weird, doesn't it?”

“A bit but other than that cut, I think you clean up nice.” Her eyes wandered to the floor before meeting his again. “If you're going to go sneak out, could I at least walk you to the door? Maybe I could at least help it make it look like you aren't sneaking away and it more like you were needed at the fortress again.”

Wriothesley laughed. The band that had been playing should have stopped their playing so she could have better heard the song that played before her. “Careful. I might take you up on that then you'll never get that dance.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I should remind her what is and isn’t a private conversation.”

“So do I get to know who you wanted to dance with or was Navia trying to get you to settle for me?” He teased.

“I don’t want to force you.”

Wriothesley took her hand. “And miss out on how happy you looked spinning around in that gown. I think I can survive one attempt at dancing before I try and sneak out.” He pulled her back in close. “Show me how.” He mimicked the positions others were holding their dance partner.

She normally had an easy time meeting his gaze. But this felt all too public knowing how much Wriothesley valued his privacy. Why did she feel so shy all of a sudden? She's made out with the man enough times to where this should be nothing. “Even with them watching?” She pointed her head over to where the group of their friends had gathered.

“They were bound to find out soon enough. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sigewinne already told them.” He let go of her hand and moved it below her chin, raising her head back up to look him in the eyes. “Now would my dance instructor teach me what to do? I’ve managed to avoid dancing at these things as long as possible so I may be a little clueless on this.” “Last chance to try and sneak out.” She warned.

“I’ll take my chances here with you. I could sneak out later if I do really bad.” He let go of her chin and went back to holding her hand.

Y/N laughed. “Then I’ll have to sneak out to comfort you, won’t I?”