#in fact! I remember a comic about the toys having a fight with originals

[artist-heart83]

Omg Fnaf is 9 years away old now? Man, I was 11 when I watch a gameplay, get scared but later start searching for fanarts and videos because I was in love with the characters

I feel more old because I remember watch every teaser in Scott page, I remember some old fnaf series and waiting for a new episode and I remember some old stuff when fnaf 2 came out

I think I was until the era of Sister Location and I can’t understand shit because I didn’t know english and no one who I know complete the game. Came back during Pizzeria Simulator and Ultimate Custom Night era and of course, pre-release of Security Breach, post-release and now

Five night at Freddy had an important space on my mind and heart, and I can’t believe that I sorta grew up with this franchise and even amazing how much had grow

I have used to make some fanarts even, some of them get lost and other are archive in my old DA account, and recently I found an old drawing with a line-up of some characters and I planning to redraw when I finish my finals, as well an anniversary drawing, which I had the idea

Anyways, can’t believe that this game is 9 years old and this year is gonna had the most waited movie!!!!

[quetzalpapalotl]

One question about IDW1!Megatron. According to MTMTE’s Trivia Page on TVTropes (wish I could link it, but idk how sadly), it was said that JRO at the 2017 TFCon revealed that giving Megatron a redemption arc was actually an executive mandate ordered by Hasbro for the comics. However, I haven’t really seen this statement be mentioned either by the TFWiki (if it is there, do correct me) nor by a certain subsection of fans. Is it true that JRO was forced to include and redeem Megatron or was it by his own choice to give him the in-universe chance to redeem himself for his crimes? I’m genuinely curious as I’ve seen a few fans point fingers at JRO for the way Megatron was written (infamously over how Getaway and his hatred of the guy was handled within the context of said writing) and it made me wonder what was going on for that arc to occur.

TVtropes lies, like A LOT and you're wise to doubt it. It also says things like Rattrap following Starscream because he wants to backstab him and take over Cybertron (which is SS's projection and disproven by the text) and Optimus punching Prowl being how Prowl lost his eye (he lost it while fighting Superion and Defensor as Devastator).

This one is pretty easy to clarify because we can hear it from the mouth of the man himself here.

I can't I claim credit entirely for the idea. I mean it came about through essentially a brainstorming session for Dark Cybertron back in August 2012. Sorry. I remember that the last part, well, the first plart of Shadowplay was about to be released, that's how long ago it was. There was a brainstorming session at Hasbro's headquarters because there was a plan to, you know, use the next wave of generation toys to tie-in more closely with the comics and things and you know, the 12 part Dark Cybertron as a result. And there was a number of us in there, John Barber was there too, and others from Hasbro, and we were... I was gonna say, literally throwing things at the wall, it didn't get to that point. But we were having ideas an writing them down and it was someone else that said "What about Megatron becoming an Autobot?" and it was sort of, it didn't go anywhere, but it hung in the air as a possibility. And It think it was... I certainly thought to myself, that's a huge ask in terms of getting the audience to swallow the fact that um, that he would change. But at the same time, it's quite challenging too and if we are gonna go down that path and Megatron is going to become good, then I'd like him, please. I'd like to have him on the Lost Light.

So it wasn't originally his idea and it may have been a Hasbro exec who mentioned it first (or not, who knows), but no one forced JRo to do it. He, by his own admission, asked for it. He liked the challenge enough to change course on his own story for good or bad.

Not to get into Getaway Discourse, but people forget that Getaway was already being antagonistic towards Rodimus even before Megatron joined the ship (he and Atomizer gave him a fake voters list, he admitted seeing the rodpod was the last straw for him) the mutiny was always going to be a plot development. Getaway's hatred for Megatron was never his primary motivator. He exploited everyone else's hatred of him for his own goals. And you know, I think that the fact that the entire ship—including "has never done anything wrong" Thunderclash—was in favor of the mutiny is there to show that Getaway's ploy only worked because people had genuine gripes with Rodimus captaincy, Megatron big among them.

That isn't to say that I think Megatron's character was handled perfectly or that his gravity didn't affect certain parts of the story for the worse but yeah.

[clairethecutepup]

So, you remember the plans for that Ed Edd n' Eddy (Assassin AU) fan comic series? Well, I think I've finally gotten it figured out, and I'd like to make this post to help ensure I don't forget (and maybe get people interested). Click "keep reading," if curious.

I've decided to forego the concept of "werebeasts," but only for the comic of C2ndy2C1d's AU idea. For a different and fully original series involving assassins, I'll utilize it 'cause it'll feel less jarring and all then. I mean, I'll give myself points for trying to give a reason why animal-hybrids existed in the AU's world, instead of basically telling the audience just to accept the fact; but let's face it, good excuse/reason or not, it always felt off and more a likely turn-off to viewers than anything.

If you really wanna know the whole "werebeast" ordeal: the organization's lab managed to reach a breakthrough, in form of living tools that combined animalistic and humanistic abilities, and they planned to offer these new creations to the more interested assassins for better/easier job completion. If you want an example, the best I can describe is to think of it like a "Kiba and Akamaru" situation, from the Naruto series, except with some animal/human-hybrid than a ninja hound. Again, it can be an interesting concept and idea, assassins working with animal-hybrid partners that serve them as needed, just perhaps not fitting for the "Assassin AU" of EEnE.

I'm still using Claire and Yami, though, they're just normal full-humans now that utilize a respective wolf/fox theme to them. However, there are a few extra changes: Cio will be added to the cast and HE'S the one with the Eds, Claire is now with Sarah and Jimmy (pray for the kid), and it's a concept of apprenticeship than being assigned to some "master." Yami and Nazz will still be paired up, as a dynamic Japanese-styled duo of swordsmanship and Ninjutsu (NOT like Naruto but the actual art).

Why apprenticing? Well, the organization decided its... "recruits" would have a higher success rate in "graduation" and the like, if they were given prior field experience, before the time comes to prove themselves. Yeah, let's just say, the resulting numbers weren't meeting the demand, with how they currently ran things... So, for some extra financial compensation (cue Eddy immediately dragging his friends into this), the veterans have a chance to train a greenhorn; but that means they share the consequences, if a pupil fails to properly graduate. If the pupil graduates, it's really up to them and their mentor whether they'll continue partnered up and all.

Mentors get to choose one candidate from a list of "most compatible" ones, and then that trainee will be under their wing for a bit. Nazz picks Yami because of her Japanese-based interests (more technique than racially-related), The Eds pick Cio because his brains are sure to pair well with Double D's (thus Eddy can make HIM do all the mentoring and rake in easy bucks), and Sarah and Jimmy pick Claire because I hate the kid and enjoy seeing them bully her.

... Okay, that's just the OUT-of-story reason I have, aside from her fighting style working well with theirs. The two will claim it's because they wanted a little extra spending money-- specifically, they want this giant plushie that'd be a great addition to their base. They also, especially Sarah, enjoy the idea of having someone to boss around and all, and you could "practically see [Claire] trembling in her photo~"... However, Claire's predictable meekness/timid-ness, making for a fun and obedient "toy," doesn't convey their full reason for choosing her specifically, nor are "serving toys" the main reason why they even entered the apprenticeship program... Sorry, but THAT isn't getting spoiled here.

As for Kevin, Rolf, Jonny and the Kanker Sisters, they won't be getting apprentices for their own reasons: Jonny and Plank already have to worry about getting just THEMSELVES safely out of their explosions, Kevin is more of a lone wolf and only partners with someone when necessary, Rolf would have rather passed on his knowledge of farming than assassination, and the Kankers probably would "be busy enough, without having to watch some helpless twerp" (perhaps as Lee would put it).

So yeah, I finally feel good about the fan comic now, and I can't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner! Heh, sometimes it's the simplest of solutions, like learning to get over Claire not actually being half-wolf... Aw well, I'm excited to start work on it, in between my fully original works, so I hope you all are, too!

[poppetsisters]

Wanted to talk briefly about the inspirations of each Minifig.

The Sculpture: Originally this was going to be a da vinci style sketch of a lego minifig, using the minifig patent diagrams as inspiration. I realized half way through drawing it that this wasn't going to look good, so I pivoted to a much more playful scribble-fig and made it a painter to complete the vibe.

The Mountie: I'm Canadian. LEGO has made American police officers and UK bobbies in the past. I felt that Canada needed some rep, and there was nothing better than a classic Mountie. I even gave him a bottle of Canadian maple syrup (yes, that's syrup, this is a toy for kids, remember?)

The Space Dame: LEGO has done a lot of science fiction minifigs, from aliens to robots and space superheroes. I felt an overlooked point of inspiration was Buck Rogers, so I wanted to do my own version of that with this fig. I admit, I also wanted to do my own spin on a Challengers of the Unknown minifig, hence the purple. In my head, her name is Betty Bastic.

The Explorer: I looked up if LEGO had ever done a vintage pilot design in the past, and as a matter of fact they did... in CMF series 3!! I figured I'd do a modern redesign. He turned out to be one of my favourite looking figs. He also calls to mind Harry Cane from the Adventurers line. A nice companion to Johnny Thunder.

The Black Cavalry: Space Knights are very fun to make. That combo of science fiction and fantasy aesthetics is part of the appeal of one of my favourite comics: The New Gods. This specific design is based on The Black Calvary faction from Castle. They are tied with three other factions as the oldest castle faction, appearing in that very first set.

The Spriggan: This one was more of a challenge to myself. I really wanted to get better at natural textures like wood and leaves, so a Spriggan felt like the best way to achieve that. They're also based on a character from one of my gf favourite stories.

Jack Stone: Remember Jack Stone? I remember Jack Stone. Those rounded tall figs with no detachable parts didn't last very long, did they? Still, I think it's a legacy IP that LEGO should honour to some degree. They were after all the precursor to the much better handled 4+ line.

The Programmer: Part of LEGO's promotion with Dreamzzz was that it was going to be the first LEGO IP designed for both genders. I think this is a great idea, but they have a long way toward representing a more genderfluid world. The 18+ set Everyone Is Awesome was also a welcome sight, but it's 18+ branding still implies queerness is an adult topic. The Programmer is my way of injecting a little transfemme rep into the LEGO brand. The Blahaj was completely necessary I swear.

The Ice Cream Alien: I love the black and white minifigs LEGO does from time to time and wanted to do my own version. A black and white horror science fiction reference felt like an ideal fit. The third eye and diner attire is a specific reference to the classic Twilight Zone episode "Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up".

The Esports Champ: As recently as series 25, LEGO had already done an Esports champ, but the keyboard and mouse implied they were an RTS champ. As someone who frequents the FGC, I wanted to homage that side of Esports. LEGO has made minifig controllers in varying styles, but they haven't done an arcade fight stick yet, so it was fun to design something in that scale. The people on the Brick Brawlers shirts are shameless renditions of the OG Street Fighter roster.

The Magician: Originally, I was just gonna do a Tarot Card CMF series, The Magician was the first minifig I had drawn. However I realised that I would get bored fast if all I did was Tarot characters, so The Magician was the only one I did. Still, I think he's the best one I could've chosen since he represents every minor arcana.

The Siren Queen: This was my gf's idea. She pitched I should do a siren vocaloid, but the robot face wasn't working with the sea monster head I desperately wanted to use. So I pivoted to a glam rock siren instead, with hypnotic eyes, a trident with a microphone in the middle, and a mermaid tail.

THE POPPET SISTERS LEGO COLLECTABLE MINIFIGURE SERIES IS NOW COMPLETE!!

12 Minifigs in total, including:

The Sculpture, The Mountie, The Space Dame, The Explorer, The Black Cavalry, The Spriggan, Jack Stone, The Programmer, The Ice Cream Alien, The Esports Champ, The Magician, and The Siren Queen.

[driftverse]

ok guys. here’s the deal.

I’ve been putting off making this comic for a very long time telling myself “I’ll do something with it eventually” and I KNOW that I’m literally never going to finish it and I have no motivation to finish it. it sucks, because I was kind of happy with what I came up with for the conclusion back in 2019, but I just have no desire to dedicate time working on something that just isn’t vibing anymore for me and also caused me a lot of stress in trying to crank it out.

some of you probably saw this coming, seeing what happened to my other utmv comics, but I’m just not in the game anymore. if I had somehow managed to get this all out while utmv was still in the exploding process and while I was still into it (which also happened to be while I was still in college, which made it impossible as it was), it might have taken off more, but life just didn’t work out that way and I want to not worry about this anymore.

anyway, here’s basically what was going to go down. I didn’t plan to make the comic long, but at the point that it got to, it was about halfway done.

- the driftverse story -

nightmare and dream have been mysteriously combined into one person, under the identity of drifter. unconscious of this, they coexist as a single individual, until suddenly, they remember that they were once separate and split into separate consciousnesses with shared control of the body.

the two of them decide to venture forth and figure out the truth behind this mystery. how did they combine? was someone responsible for this? protagonist syndrome conveniently leads them exactly where they need to go, and after wasting time in underswap for 2 seconds and arguing the entire time, they go to xtale to discover that it isn’t a wasteland, and does, in fact, still exist.

after bumping into some teenager presumed to be cross, nightmare, who is in control of the body, attempts to make conversation, and then xgaster shows up and reacts kind of violently to their presence. dream takes over and makes them run away. nightmare and dream continue to internally bicker, and now they’re being chased by mystery boy, whose name is apparently wing and not cross. after dream insults nightmare to his face, nightmare gets very mad and basically gets them caught on purpose and also tells wing that his name is nightmare instead of drifter because dream and nightmare are both immature and stupid.

now we’re all caught up. the drifter condominium gets pushed into xgaster’s house, are told to take a seat at the table, and after a few tense greetings between two people who both talk like rich snobs, xgaster tells nightmare (who is still in control) that he knows who he is, and that his name is “drifter”. nightmare laughs it off. wing mentions that he was told that his name was nightmare, not drifter. xgaster’s expression has turned indescribably murdery, and nightmare continues to try playing it off while dream has a goddamn stroke in his head. xgaster tells wing to leave the room, and though he does, he waits outside the door and listens.

nightmare keeps trying to act like he doesn’t know anything even though xgaster vaguely interrogates him, mentioning that he should be “guarding the tree like he’s supposed to.” nightmare doesn’t budge until xgaster asks him why he’s ‘on a break’ for the first time in five centuries, and why he visited his world of all places, suggesting that he may be looking for answers.

nightmare and dream realize, by convenient memory plot glitches, that the reason they are one person is because of overwrite, and that xgaster is responsible for everything.

xgaster comments that he’s disappointed this outcome hasn’t worked out either, but he believes that progress is being made, although he’s saddened by the fact that he needs to start over again. nightmare explodes, demanding what gives him the right to toy with his and dream’s lives.

“you’re very naive, aren’t you? tell me, was it not my work and effort that saved you from your own incompetence? tell me it has not saved you from your inevitable mistake–a mistake that would affect the entire pitiful multiverse forever to come,” xgaster says, and it strikes a nerve in nightmare. “the only way you two will ever coexist is by coexisting by force.”

nightmare doesn’t even know what to think. he suggests that, perhaps, he has been saved from his mistake, but now he’s learned his lesson, got his memories back, and he can be separated from dream again. xgaster denies this, telling him that they can only coexist if they’re not aware of the past–aka continuing to live as one identity. xgaster brings up overwrite, about to reset everything again.

plot twist, wing was, in fact, listening the whole time, and xgaster’s villainous monologing has recovered all of his memories too. he runs in and stabs xgaster with his magic, and his personality suddenly seems different. xgaster starts blabbering about how wing was supposed to be the perfect son and that his coding had never failed him before. if you haven’t figured it out already, wing is a combination of ink and cross, just like dream and nightmare getting mashed together, and now ink has taken control and he’s not very happy that xgaster turned him into this against his will. “give it up for the world’s greatest asshole, and for once, it isn’t me!”

xgaster, after healing himself with overwrite, continues his villainous monologing, calling all of them fools for disregarding his judgment, telling them that what he’s doing is for the better of the whole multiverse. ink tells him yeah, sure, maybe things could be better, but then calls xgaster out on his perfectionism and tells him that perfect doesn’t exist, and it’s not funny anymore.

ink continues to suggest the possibility of taking overwrite from xgaster somehow to split them all up again. the three of them have a brief one-sided fight scene while xgaster teleports around the room and they pretty much destroy everything. xgaster is like “I have the power of a god, you can’t stop me,” and while this is going down, dream, still in the depths of subconscious, has a realization. they have access to the power of a god too.

dream and nightmare argue about this, dream suggesting taking the power of the tree and nightmare calling him an idiot, especially because xgaster could probably just undo it. dream says that, if they manage to get overwrite away from xgaster with it, they can just turn themselves back to normal. watching wing fight xgaster and get his ass kicked, nightmare is conflicted, but eventually concedes and tells dream that this is his responsibility only and he refuses to be the one who makes that choice.

dream takes control and they leave, xgaster and ink noticing and continuing to talk. after xgaster tells ink that there’s no point to resisting him, because ink knows inside how this is going to end, xgaster reveals to ink that none of this was even his idea.

putting nightmare and dream together, and putting ink and cross together, he says, was all dream’s idea in the beginning. to stop nightmare from taking the tree’s power, and to stop ink and error from fighting–error, who was implied to have never been created–they were all put together, and dream was to blame. ink takes this with a grain of salt, but this was all true.

from this point onward, the narrative gets foggy, because the script ends here. after fighting through the angry mobs of dreamtale that exist for some reason, dream consumes the power of the tree and plans to fight xgaster, but unfortunately he’s consumed by the overwhelming power because he’s kind of weak-willed. while he hunts down xgaster again, destroys him and likely takes overwrite for himself (note that he has the full power of the tree, and not just a percentage of it, so he’s basically in godmode), he and nightmare regain all of their former memories. turns out dream is partially to blame for nightmare’s original ‘life-ruining’ decision, thanks to his ignorance and insistent insensitivity.

their thoughts still separate, and nightmare still horrified at the events that have been taking place for the last while, he wonders why dream is silent and why he won’t tell him what’s happening. without a word, and a solemn expression on his face, dream overwrites everything again, creating a new rendition of the rewritten timeline rather than turning everything back to normal, and that was where the story was going to end.

so, yeah. the story wasn’t ever planned to have a happy ending. the cycle repeats, memories being lost, lives being manipulated and unqualified people playing god.

anyway, thank you for reading this comic while it was in the works!

[witchesoz]

After Oz: Legends of Oz

I hesitated before doing this one, because this movie is mostly based on the book "Dorothy of Oz" by Roger S. Baum, and I haven't read said book. It is something that tends to get on my nerve, when people actually don't care about the original material an adaptation was based on, and consider the adaptation as its own entirely original piece of work, when in fact, a lot of it was taken from somebody's else work. I mean, the perfect exemple is Shining. Some people praise Kubrick for being a pure genius for inventing this story from A to Z, and consider Stephen's King television series a "poor attempt at a remake of the movie", when... you know, King originally wrote the Shining and Kubrick merely adapted it. In fact, people tend to forget most of Kubrick's movies were adaptation. Dr. Strangelove? Loosely based on "Red Alert". Lolita? Everyone knows it is Nabokov. A Clockwork Orange? Anthony Burgess. 2001: Space Odyssey? Inspired by shorts stories of Clarke, the co-author. Eyes Wide Shut? A 1920s German book, Traumnovelle. And so forth and so forth...

  Hum. Sorry for the rant. I just needed to explain why I always want to take in consideration the original material when tackling an adaptation.  But since I haven't read and can't get this book, I will mostly rely myself on the Wikipedia plot and other reviews I read. If you wonder, yes, Roger S. Baum is Baum's great-grandson (or great-great-grandson?), and he wrote "Dorothy of Oz" as a direct sequel to the first book, "The Wizard of Oz", ignoring all of the others, and... apparently he is not a really good writer. But anyway... I still decided to do a little something about this movie, because... well just because I wanted    Oh yeah, another thing... an elephant in the room I have to adress right now. I only discovered it this year, by doing research about the movie (because before I only saw it at the time of its released and then forgot about it). You can know it, or completely ignore it - yes, I know that this whole movie was the result of a huge scam that robbed hundreds of people out of their money, and that the case has been even brought to trial. But... well the movie is still here, people still saw it, it is still around, will be for still quite a long time, and it is now part of the Oz inheritance, that you want it or not. Anyway, a lot of Oz movies had a dark and troubled production. It seems almost like a pre-requisite: if you do an Oz movie, you'll never end happy. Maybe it is a curse? Who knows.

       So... let's get into the subject. Is "Dorothy's Return" a bad movie? (I'll use this name, because "Legends of Oz" was the name of the intended franchise of three, maybe ten movies). I wouldn't say so. A lot of people said it was crap, or worthless, but I wouldn't call it bad. People also said that it is a bland movie, and I would say yes - but only partially. I think a good lot of the extreme bad reactions were caused because of 1- people who just disliked the idea of more Oz adaptations, 2- people too old for this movie, because you have to remember that this is a movie aiming at children and 3- people who are hard-die fans of the MGM movie and not so much of the original Oz books. It may also play in account that Dorothy's Return was roughly released the same year, and played as a "rival" to "Oz the Great and Powerful".

    Now, note that it isn't a memorable movie (except for a few bits). It isn't an excellent movie. It isn't a cult classic (even though it may become it with the whole scam background, who knows?). It isn't something I would watch again and again with pleasure. It isn't something exceptionnal or groundbreaking, it is even quite generic. But, it has some good parts, and it manages to be entertaining, and honestly as a child I could have sit in front of it and watch it with no problem. Because, yes, it is a children movie. The action is rushed, the characters lack depth, some moments are too sugary-sweet or even cringy (for exemple the song "We'll work together". Seriously, I just looked away and sped up a bit because that was too sickening-sweet for me.) As a result, as a child movie they missed things that could have been really good (the old tree agreeing to be use for a boat, which is played straight up as him being killed, the characters even say so, but then it turns out he is still alive as a boat? You could have had a great, deep, fascinating almost philosophical moment, but you just waste it for a happy ending). Anyway, what was I saying? Yes, a children movie. As a result, some people called the movie "too simple". On the other side, people called the story "too confusing".

  To an Oz fan like me, it isn't actually confusing. It isn't at all - but indeed, for someone with a limited knowledge of Oz, it will be confusing. Because, while they base themselves on an Oz book that re-uses many elements from the books (the Queen of the Field Mices, the Sawhorse, the China Country...) it also decided to include a lot of elements from the MGM movie (the Wicked Witch of the West is the one from the MGM, Glinda is also quasi-identical from her MGM counterpart, the Winged Monkeys work with the evil people...). As a result, yeah, it may be confusing. But the inclusion of the MGM elements actually managed to correct some flaws of the original story. For exemple, in Roger S Baum's book, the Jester was merely a normal jester possessed by the ghost of the Wicked Witch of the West, through her magic wand. Wait, magic wand? There wasn't any magic wand mentionned in the original book! But in the movie, to use the broomstick of the Wicked Witch makes much more sense.

      I'll take a short time here to comment on the character of the Jester, who is, I think, the highest point of this movie. He is a good villain. A cliché but interesting backstory cashing on the idea of Oz vilains as siblings, a clear shout-out to the Joker which isn't so bad, interesting plans. He is also the provider of many nightmarish elements (the fate of Dorothy's companions, which I think was a very good idea, or the people turning into puppets and being used for a creepy dance) that made this Oz movie feel... well Ozian. Because a good Oz work is a work that will traumatize your kids! I guess a bit part of why the Jester works so well is that he basically repeats and remakes all his sister, the Wicked Witch, did in the MGM movie, and let's be honest, she was a great villain. (And this again makes sense when you remember the Jester is originally supposed to be possessed by the Witch's ghost). But at the same time he has his distinctive signature and style, with his Jester persona, his circus-related punishment and his personal plots to conquer Oz. [People noticed obviously the sweet irony of things in this movie. You have a double-character that, on the Earth world is a cheater and criminal trying to steal people of their houses and using several fake identities, while in Oz it is a villain that turns people into puppets he can manipulate and relies mostly on cheating and misleading Dorothy to her doom. Which is eerily similar to what the creators of the movie/franchise did with their financers and investors.]

  Talking about the Earth side... The whole "earthly" parts are all bland and not memorable. Just like Dorothy, who isn't really... anything to be honest. The songs sung aren't memorable either. All of that is a fail. A lot of people also considered the Earthly animation uncanny, or even disturbing, but I personally wasn't bugged by it at all. I saw much more uncanny animation.

    When it comes to the Oz part, I actually think they managed to create a perfect "Ozian story". As in, the general schema of the girl entering in Oz through an uncommon mean (here a people-eating rainbow, that I have to say was quite a scary scene to look at), then passing through many small kingdoms, meeting new friends, forming a team, discovering the villain and fighting him off - this plot was repeated by Baum times and times and times again, and probably comes from the original novel Dorothy of Oz. But it still works, as simple as it can be. Plus, the use of the China Country and the Candy County (I think its their name?) was quite a good choice. The China Country was one of Baum's earliest invention, while the Candy County (originating from the Roger S Baum book) is eerily similar to the Bunbury village, an invention of Baum, inhabited by living baked goods that also get angry at the protagonists for trying to eating them. Yes, all in all, the characters feel really Ozian. As for the other member of the team, "Wiser the Owl". Well... he had the potential to feel an interesting and Baum-ian character. But it falls flat because he just becomes one living fat joke. I mean, fat jokes can be funny. But when the character is mostly the joke itself well... yeah, not really working. He had a much interesting role in the prequel comic book.  

   Because yes, there is a comic book associated with this movie! As I said before, originally the project was to create a franchise of several movies, with toys, goodies, applications and video games. (Or at least that was the project the scam used). The comic is however found under the original title for the movie "Dorothy of Oz". I don't have much to say about it, outside that is was quite pleasing (even though it sometimes doesn't make sense when put in direct relationship to the movie), and that it introduced one interesting idea: that the magic of the broomstick/Witch relied mostly on manipulating the weather and nature. The Jester causes a flood to destroy the Munchkin town, he causes an earthquake to break the China Country, he uses heatwaves to melt the Candy County... And another interesting point, the role of Wiser. Indeed, in the movie he is presented as a "motor-mouth" that keeps talking about everything, knows a lot of stuff and has the tendency to finish other people's sentences. But it gets quickly overshadowed by the fat jokes (cause a big part of his character is that he used to be able to fly but now, because of his love for candy, he is too fat to fly). However, in the comic book he has rather the role of the one voice of reason and intelligence that offers down-to-earth, simple solutions to problems where the other Ozians search for more extravagant and magical possibilities. Exemple (SPOILERS: when trying to create a rainbow, the team searches everywhere, thinks of asking witches, wizards and candy makers. Wiser has to remind them that anybody can create a rainbow with just a good crystal and some light. SPOILER ENDING.)  

   (I actually read the comic book before looking at the movie, which may explain why I consider it better than the movie.) To return to my opinion on the movie... Not the greatest Oz movie, but certainly not the worst. Average, but on the good side. Entertaining and interesting, even though bland and generic. They got the feeling of an Oz story but they just didn't found a way to freshen up or make the story shine on its own. A good villain for a heroine easy to forget. Simple. Ideal for children, or to kill time, or just to inspire one for more Oz work.

[lady-writes]

TALES THROUGH TIME TWO FT MY LEAST FAVORITE COVER. GREG AND LEANDRO I KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!

Stream of consciousness ramble reactions and big thoughts below the cut

SO NORIKO THEN-

just coming hot off the ropes to smack us with some THEMES

I don’t think this is early enough to be Noriko’s origin, this story is set 13th century AD and we know Noriko is BC old along with Andy and Lykon

I do find it WILDLY interesting that Noriko for what ever reason saw fit to Stalk? Haunt? Hunt? Follow? this man through his entire life. The narrative implies that she might have been his first kill. It out right says that she chose NOT to kill him then, and knowing what we know about how these homies fight, its a fair assumption that she could have killed him any of the 6 times we see them cross paths. but instead she waited.. WHY?!

RED IS NORIKO/QUYNH’S COLOR. IT IS LAW.

The whole of Force Multiplied is Nile/Andy/Noriko debating what is morally right for them to do. Noriko has no lines in her own story beyond introducing herself but HERE the framework is about nothing more or less that the question of what gives any person the right to kill another, to make choice for another living thing. THEMES OUT THE WAZOOOO

apparently by 1200′s AD Noriko had decided that tits out was no longer the way to go

also everytime Noriko Dies She’s Smiling.... I do not know what to make of that fact but I do find it unsettling

oh booker you sad fucking bastard, i hate when I’m right

SON OF A BITCH DO I HATE HATE HATE FORE/AFTERSHADOWING WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH, GODDAMN

sO YEAH ABOUT THAT  FUCKING A

BOOKER IS FATES FUCKING CHEW TOY AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE 

My personal HC of Booker as a optimist who’s been battered through cynicism pessimism and straight into self destructive Nihilism feels right at home in this story

Booker did keep his Napoleonic sabre! though what may have become of it is anyone’s guess

God so like do you think he remembers? Do you think he thinks its a coincidence? Booker never gets to see Copley’s stalker wall in comics or in the movie, so the whole intertwined web of humanity thing isn’t something he has awareness of as of the end of force multiplied.

1870- 68 years into immortality and Booker loves a wine (bougie hoe) and drinks/talks about drinking quite similarly to how he does in current era. Fair guess to blame his alcoholism on the death of his family rather than failure to cope with immortality. He’s still looking for meaning in why he’s alive

OH GOD YOU KNOW BOOKER AND JOE HAVE BONDED OVER THEIR SAVING PEOPLE THING. NICKY MUST BE SO FUCKING TIRED  🤣 🤣 🤣

I wonder why these two got paired together- assuming there’s some reason to that. Noriko’s story of apparent vengeance/ spending one of her many lifetimes pursuing one man for vengeance? shits and giggs? juxtaposed to Booker searching for meaning and trying to reassure himself that there must be a reason for his continued existence

what was andy up to in San Fran? I’m just curious but hey! its a stamp on the over all timeline of canon

IDK if we’re ever gonna see young shiny booker I doubt it, but I am REALLY looking forward to Andy+Achilles, because that will be the closest thing to seeing another new immortal being brought into the fold (when Andy and Booker meet)

My Takeaways:

The guard getting found out is gonna be directly related to Merrick, cuz maybe Merrick the Elder did tell those stories to his grandkids, maybe he made a sketch of the man who saved his life and the subsequent generations of Merrick’s grew up with that family legend. Maybe the quest for immortality was a family business. the Merrick the Elder become obsessed? This is the second time a story’s focal point/twist has rested on the Team coming across a former victim later in their lives. Situationally different thematically the same.

Quynh/Noriko continues to be PEAK MYSTERIOUS WOMAN TROPE. PLEASE SIR MAY I HAVE SOME BACKSTORY??!?!?!??! I WANT TO KNOW HER!!!!

IS BOOKER SECRETLY SQUISHY? WAS Booker squishy but now he’s drunk it out of his system

DID BOOKER MAKE THE MERRICK CONNECTION BECAUSE I STG IF THIS POOR HIMBEAUX ASSHAT SAW MERRICK PHARMA IN 2020 AND THOUGHT OH THIS IS WHY I SAVED THAT FUCKER I WILL EAT MY OWN KIDNEY THAT IS SO FUCKING MEAN. PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN SEVERAL SERATONINS, SOME PUPPIES AND A TALKSPACE ACCOUNT

Noriko’s entire comics MO of we should be the ones who cause the suffering, that's our right as the literal elder gods of this planet/humanity is Not one that I like at all but definitely suits her vignette 

Booker got REAL GOOD AT FIGHTING for a man who was an unwilling Army conscript in the largest and most disastrous conscript army/campaign of the 20th century. Even if you don't assume that he spend the first 2-3 decades of his immortality tryin to like a normal life, The team is fighting enough that he got good enough to go 4 on 1 with one functioning eye in 60 years, and its far more likely that he actually did it in 30-40

Lastly I really like this book but I’m disappointed in Kelly Sue and/or Greg Rucka. Noriko/Quynh’s character is obviously pivotal to the story, but she has no genuine presence in the book. Blessedly she is unfridgeable (we hope), but she’s very much living in the Fridge position. She’s a Lost Lenore to the team, She’s Andy’s Eurydice. When she’s introduced in the main story she come with all the femme fatale/exotic dangerous woman tropes. She’s as flat as any generic superhero girlfriend and I expect better of these particular writers by far. I hope that this is a function of an attempt at mystery or some other need to keep her barely present in reality but constantly on the periphery, but not of the other one shots seem to have any place for her and Fade Away is no less than 7 months into a very nebulous future. Please don’t let me down book (UrProllyGonnaLetMeDown)

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 1: Welcome to Comic Event Hell

You know what readers love? When the stories they’ve gotten invested in over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

And you know what writers love? When the story they’ve been crafting over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

Did I say love?

Because I didn’t mean it.

“Dark Cybertron” was penned by John Barber and James Roberts, with collaboration with comic writer and artist Phil Jimenez, and was published from early November, 2013 to late March, 2014. Atilio Rojo, James Raiz, and Livio Ramondelli did the art, each responsible for scenes in specific locations, with Robert Gill filling in as needed. Alex Milne, Andrew Griffith, and Brendan Cahill would also contribute pencils to the first issue and the back half of the series. It was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the franchise, and the second birthday of Phase Two... which went on for over four months, but never mind that!

Both "Dark Cybertron” and its preliminary materials were made to go alongside the Transformers: Generations toy-line, each issue being included as a toy pack-in with whatever character was being featured… or, at least, that was the plan. Sometimes it didn’t work out. Regardless, this storyline was created to sell toys directly, as opposed to the MTMTE/RID series being made to sell toys more through the power of suggestion. It’s a small distinction, but important, because it will help explain any lack of soul one may perceive while they read “Dark Cybertron”.

“But Hannz!” you cry out, reaching to grab me by the throat and shake me like a rag doll, because to you I’m merely a faceless voice on the internet. “Surely by calling this specific storyline soulless, you’re completely ignoring the very nature of this franchise that you’re almost uncomfortably invested in!”

To which I’ll say this: look, I’m pretty realistic about where my giant space robots came from; Transformers as a franchise would not exist the way it does without Ronald Reagan introducing the Free Market to literal children and fucking up how we interact with media for the rest of time. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that rings especially true when I’ve got a Spinister on my bookshelf staring me down as I write this, that was likely made out of plastics which either involved blood oil or unethical labor practices, if not both.

However!

The choices of a company to have their comic license holders to cook up an entire plot that derails what they’ve already got planned out for toy tie-in comics is a completely different animal than what IDW had had going on up to this point. Phase Two had been about exploring different ideas that hadn’t been able to be explored during the war, and seeing what happens when you take away a third of the logline for Transformers G1 as a whole. Being a part of a brand of toys was almost inconsequential to how the stories were being told; even the Spotlights, which were also toy tie-in comics, had plenty of charm to them, if only because there weren’t quite as many constraints placed on the writers, and they were stand-alone issues.

Of course, being tie-in comics isn’t the only reason that “Dark Cybertron” is a bit of a slog, considering everything IDW itself was trying to get done within this storyline, but we’ll cover the publishing company’s/Simon Furman’s/Transformers’ tumultuous relationship with the concept of gender identity and expression later on, when it becomes relevant to the story proper. This point also ties into the interesting origin of Windblade, who we’ll meet in a few issues, and what happens when you let your fanbase have a taste of power and forget that people might like to see themselves represented in the media they consume.

“Dark Cybertron” is what ended up making me stop reading MTMTE the first time I tried it in 2015. A big part of it was because it forced the reader to need so much information from RID and even events prior to Phase Two, it wasn’t very fun to try to parse what was going on, on top of the writing beginning to flag because of obvious constraints to what Barber and Roberts could actually do, both within their deadlines and the rules put in place by their higher ups for the event.

 “Dark Cybertron” is the result of the sort of executive meddling that kills reader enjoyment by requiring writers to cram their two worlds together as quickly as possible, without the option to go for nuance because there simply isn’t time. The reason we have four separate artists for the front half of this story is because Milne and Griffith didn’t have time to draw both their current workload and “Dark Cybertron” at the same time... but sales probably went up due to the nature of how the story was published, so I’m sure they didn’t really see a problem with it.

That’s a general “they”, not a Milne and Griffith “they”.

In short, we’ve got license contract obligations, fan-poll obligations, and gender stuff fighting for space within the next 12 issues, which will be published in the span of roughly four months. Things are probably going to be a little bloated and sloppy.

Regardless of any of these points, this is what we’ve got. It’s not like it’s all bad- “Dark Cybertron” has the benefit of being written by two people who had been working closely before it had even been conceptualized. Barber was the senior editor for MTMTE, and IDW as a whole until he left in 2016. It also isn’t a proper crossover- y’know, where two completely separate titles get mashed together for a bit. MTMTE and RID exist in the same universe, just have their own things going on, so a decent amount of things still carry over without you needing to have read every single thing in both. The writing, while not quite up to par with pieces that had more creative freedom and breathing room between scenes, is still recognizable as being Barber and Roberts’. Their voices are still here, they’re just strained under the weight of everything that has to be said inside of 12 issues.

With all THAT out of the way, let’s dive in to Dark Dawn: Dark Cybertron Chapter 1.

We get a quick rundown of the most basic information you’ll need for this entire story to make sense, as we reintroduce the fact that Shockwave is an ecoterrorist with more agendas than a daily planner factory on meth, and also that he grows magic crystals. I don’t care what he says, the Ores are fucking space-magic. If you don’t want to read through all of RID for everything else, please see Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes.  We also get a quick rundown of the Lost Lighters’ deal, as Swerve potentially has a meta-episode.

Be careful what you fucking wish for, bucko.

Our story proper starts with a flashback to the shittiest road trip Cyclonus ever went on, as the Ark 1 finds itself at the edge of a mysterious portal. This is likely why he wasn’t super thrilled when the portal to Luna 1 showed up- portals are probably a touchy subject for him.

Jhiaxus doesn’t know what this portal is- surely this means that science has failed us, and it’s time to call in the religious crowd to try and suss out what’s going on here.

It’s moments like this that make me wonder what exactly happened in the Dead Universe that made Cyclonus’ cheek meat just pack up and leave.

Now, we know that Cyclonus is correct here, because we as readers have more knowledge than the characters at this point, but Jhiaxus tries to write off this theory as hogwash, because he is a man of rationality and science. This is a slight removal from his character in the present, whose most notable traits seem to be a lack of ethics and screaming.

Everyone here seems to be slightly different from their current iterations, actually; Galvatron doesn’t say a word as he steps between Jhiaxus and Cyclonus, only using his body to communicate that the scientist might want to back off. Cyclonus himself is certainly the wordiest we’ve ever seen him to be, droning on through his actual thought process before he comes to a conclusion on what exactly they’ve found. Compare this to the Cyclonus of today, who only deigns to grace everyone with his voice if they outright threaten him, have something he wants, or are Tailgate. If he were to ever pull this verbal meandering on board the Lost Light, people would probably assume he’s having a stroke.

Nova Prime- you remember him, don’t you?- gives not a fuck about the Dead Universe, only what it means for him personally. And what it means for him is more locations to subjugate, because he is cartoonishly evil. His character is the least removed from his present-day iteration out of everyone. He tells the crew they’ll be getting a little closer, only for the portal to do the work for them, by way of dark energy tentacles.

Wow, the pilot for the Ark 1 really is just straight-up named Butt, isn’t he? And what the fuck is that face you’re making, Cyclonus? Are you- oh my god, are you emoting? Oh my god, he’s emoting.

As the Ark 1 is pulled to its doom, Jhiaxus makes a quick phone call to Shockwave to tell him he’s his favorite, and to keep up the good work.

In the present, Shockwave reflects on just how friggin’ long this whole ordeal has taken. Fortunately, Waspinator and the Titan are almost here, and he can hardly wait.

Not, uh, that he’s got emotions or anything. It’s been established that he doesn’t have those anymore. Is impatience an emotion? Does that count?

Shockwave seems like he’d be really frustrating to write for.

Anyway, the Titan shows up, the Ore inside him and the Ore in the underground Crystal City combine, and the Titan starts screaming because everything hurts. Shockwave’s about as thrilled as he can be about the situation, given his lack of emotions.

Above Crystal City, we finally get back to that nonsense about the early sunrise, as someone- maybe Starscream, given the color of the narration box- waxes poetic on the planet of Cybertron, wartorn and wild in its rebirth, ruled by paranoia that has nothing to bounce off of, and so creates its own walls.

Then we get a detailed shot of Rattrap’s mug, and the moment is broken.

Rattrap’s character is a lot of fun in everything he gets tossed into, but you’re a goddamn liar if you think he’s pretty to look at. You are lying to yourself, and I won’t apologize for saying it.

Starscream walks out of his room in his hot new body, feeling fine and ready to take on the world. We’ll check in on him later in the day to see how that positive mentality is working out for him.

So, the sun hasn’t moved, and it’s way too early for the sun to even be up right now. That’s weird. Because I guess he didn’t know how the sun works, Starscream’s only just realized that this is perhaps a problem. He does some computer work and realizes that this is indeed a very bad thing, and asks that Rattrap call the Autobots. Not the ones who fucked off into the wilderness, the other ones. The gay, space ones.

Up in space, Orion Pax and his pals have found themselves in dire straits, the collapsing Gorlam Prime sucking their ship back down as the Death Ore consumes everything.

That’s not how engines work! And I think it really says something about the “Prelude” issues that I completely forgot why Wheelie was down an arm for a solid five seconds.

It turns out that Orion was the narrator the entire time, which I should have known- since when is the once and future Optimus Prime not the primary voice in any media he appears in?

It’s looking rough for the fellas, but luckily we’ve got to get the plot rolling, so the Lost Light VZZZZTs into existence and picks up the Skyroller to place it gently into its belly.

Orion isn’t exactly jazzed about the fact that Rodimus didn’t listen to what he told him, not even bothering to thank the guy for saving his life. I say y’all keep going on your Thunderclash Quest and leave this ungrateful loser behind. No space yachting for you, Orion.

The rest of the Pax Posse enter the Lost Light proper, and Hardhead reveals that he nearly joined the Quest, before he saw who all would be coming with, while Garnak has a tearful reunion with Rodimus. The fact that he’s calling him Sir- which I don’t recall him doing in Transformers (2009), at least not in a way that seems reminiscent of an unfortunate Antebellum Period Romance- feels rather weird, but I’m glad someone’s fucking happy to see Rodimus at least. Ultra Magnus asks Orion if he’ll be assuming command of the vessel, as Rodimus tries not to look horrified by the thought alone, but fortunately Orion’s not going to pull his “I’m Optimus Prime and I Can Do What I Want” Card just yet.

Smash cut to the bridge, as Rodimus tries to make himself sound competent, when Starscream calls. Orion doesn’t like that Starscream has their number, Perceptor almost reveals the fact that this ship technically doesn’t belong to a faction, likely due to being purchased after the war, and Cyclonus gets brought in for his professional opinion.

As it turns out, that early sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all, but a portal to the Dead Universe. This is a problem, because the Dead Universe really sucks, and you don’t want to go there, especially if you enjoy being alive. Orion seems more concerned about the fact that Starscream is ruling the planet, and Bumblebee is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of Bumblebee, he and all his camp buddies are psyching themselves up for a confrontation.

Swoop, please, this is hardly the time for crudeness.

The Dinobots, sick of Bumblebee’s dithering about, decide they’re going to fight the fucking sun and gear up. Prowl, though generally disliking their brand of problem-solving, does share his begrudging respect of their can-do attitude.

Their can-do attitude over fighting the fucking sun.

Then an earthquake happens and the ground rips open to reveal that Titan that Waspinator showed up with.

Shockwave takes over the narration at this point, and we get artsy, as we see events that haven’t transpired yet over musings on the nature of... time? Maybe? It would be in line with Roberts’ go-to topics, but honestly the whole thing’s kind of vague so I couldn’t give you a solid answer. Shockwave gets awfully introspective for a guy who shouldn’t care, I know that much. The point is, he is inevitable and is super good at logic and science.

Also, Nova Prime and Galvatron are back, which is cool, I guess. Not sure where Galvatron had gotten to exactly after the events of “Chaos”, but he’s back now, so it doesn’t matter too terribly much. Shockwave serves them, which we’ll probably get an explanation for at some point.

God, you can practically taste the desperation to pin all these plot points together before the entire thing implodes on itself.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU

An ambitious new Disney+ series might just give the strongest Avenger the happy ending she deserves.

  GALLERY LINKS

Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 001

  ELLE: We can’t keep meeting Elizabeth Olsen like this. By “this,” I mean in the throes of catastrophe or bereavement, or, to put it plainly, when she’s an emotional wreck. In the 2018 Facebook Watch drama Sorry For Your Loss, Olsen assumes the role of Leigh Shaw, a young widow grappling with the unexpected loss of her husband and all the painful nuisances that come with death: the unbearable waves of sadness, the clichéd condolences, a grief support group that runs out of donuts. At one point, Leigh says through a cracked voice, “I’m just mad all the time.” It’s hard not to draw parallels to Olsen’s other angry character. After all, “mad” is exactly how 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron introduced us to Wanda Maximoff.

Defined by tragedy since her Marvel debut, Wanda (aka the Scarlet Witch) is an orphan with telekinetic powers. When not saving the world, she spends most of her time onscreen grieving the deaths of her parents, twin brother, or lover. Wanda’s never been allowed to fully exist outside the confines of her grief and anger, but with the launch of WandaVision—Marvel’s foray into serialized content for streaming—she may just be getting the happy ending she deserves.

Partly inspired by The Vision comic book, which follows synthezoid superhero Vision and his family as they move to the suburbs of Washington, D.C., the Disney+ series is an ode to the TV sitcoms we’ve come to love, with Wanda and Vision (Paul Bettany) basking in newlywed bliss—except Vision’s been very dead (killed twice, in fact) since the events of 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War. It’s unclear exactly how these starcrossed characters got to suburbia, but for now, it’s a delight to see the typically solemn duo sink their teeth into slapstick comedy.

“The show is like a blank slate for them,” Olsen tells me over Zoom, her light brown fringe a departure from Wanda’s red waves. The Scarlet Witch’s doleful glare is also long gone; in its place, Olsen’s eyes are wide with excitement. “Wanda and Vision’s journey to this point is a story of pure, innocent love and deep connection with another person,” she explains. “It was also very traumatizing. Tragedy has always been their story. In our show, we kind of wipe that clean and start fresh.”

But Wanda’s complicated past looms over WandaVision. Age of Ultron saw her and her twin brother, Pietro, initially opposing the Avengers (the siblings volunteered for a series of experiments with Hydra—a super evil organization within the MCU—after the deaths of their parents at the hands of Tony Stark’s Stark Industries) before switching sides to help save the Earth. The movie ends in victory for our superheroes, but yet another tragedy for Wanda when Pietro dies in battle. She finds comfort in the arms of Vision, an android created from the remains of Tony’s J.A.R.V.I.S. program, but even that bliss is short-lived. You see, Vision can only live with the help of the Mind Stone, which Mad Titan Thanos needs to take over the universe. In Infinity War, Vision asks Wanda to sacrifice him, and Wanda reluctantly agrees—but Thanos reverses time to gain control of the stone, killing the robot for a second time. Wanda’s pain is palpable: Imagine sacrificing the love of your life to save everyone else, just to watch him brought back to life and killed again—by the very villain you’re trying to defeat.

Though the thrill of playing a character with superhuman abilities is enticing for any actress, Olsen says it was Wanda’s internal battle with mental health that attracted her to the role in the first place. “[Joss Whedon] explained to me that Wanda Maximoff has always been this pillar of the struggle of mental health, from her pain and depression and traumatic experiences to how she completely alters the reality of the comics,” Olsen says of her early conversations with the Age of Ultron director. “The thing I held onto after reading the initial script was that she was not only powerful because of her abilities, but because of her emotions.”

In fact, MCU theorists would argue she’s one of, if not the, strongest Avenger. She can infiltrate the others’ minds to reveal their biggest fears (Age of Ultron). She can overpower Vision and send him plunging through several floors to break up a fight between warring superheroes (Avengers: Civil War). She can even bring Thanos to his knees, snapping his sword in half and forcibly removing his armor piece by piece (Infinity War).

Still, “they keep slapping her over the head with more grief,” Olsen quips.

As phase one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe began with the sound of clanging metal on May 2, 2008, phase four kicked off on January 15, 2021 with a kitschy 1950s sitcom theme: “She’s a magical gal in a small town locale / he’s a hubby who’s part machine / How will this duo fit in and pull through? Oh, by sharing a love / like you’ve never seen.”

With WandaVision, Marvel steers clear of the typical superhero trappings: no destructive battles at a Berlin airport or across the streets of New York City; no blonde-haired god time-traveling to other realms; no tree-like alien fight alongside a raccoon. Wandavision takes place after the events of Endgame in a fictional suburban town called Westview, and the biggest problem the newlyweds face in the show’s opening moments is creating a convincing backstory to get nosy neighbor Agnes (Kathryn Hahn) off their backs.

“They are just trying to fit in,” Olsen explains. “They’re trying to not be found out by their neighbors that they’re super-powered beings.” Now, if only we can figure out what the hell is actually going on. Olsen remains tight-lipped: “The reason it’s a sitcom shows itself later in the show,” she hints. “When Kevin [Feige] told me, it didn’t feel so bizarre. It felt like a great way to start our story.”

“With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.”

So, is Wanda stuck in the first stage of grief, denial? Has she altered reality as a coping mechanism for Vision’s death? Is she being held hostage by a terrorist organization (ahem, Hydra!)? One thing we do know is that someone is watching the couple and taking notes. At the end of episode 1, the camera pans out from a retro TV playing an episode of WandaVision (meta!) to show a hand jotting down notes. There’s a strange sword symbol on the notebook and a nearby control board, and in episode 2, the same sign appears on a toy helicopter lodged in the couple’s front yard. Later, when a mysterious beekeeper crawls out of the sewer on the couple’s street, the symbol is seen on the back of his suit. In its 20-plus movies, Marvel villains have always existed in plain sight. But with a new, less obvious darkness lurking at every turn, Wanda may have to return to her world-saving roots.

“Someone said to me when you watch any of these hero movies, you know when the villain’s about to show themselves, and you also have an idea of who the villain is,” Olsen says. “With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.” For now, WandaVision allows for glimmers of hope and optimism for Wanda and Vision, despite what darkness tries to threaten their happiness. “Wanda is trying to protect everything in her bubble, protect what she and Vision have and this experience,” Olsen says. “I think everything she does is in response to keeping things together.”

In addition to exploding the concept of the superhero onscreen, WandaVision toys with a different era of TV in each episode. The pilot takes viewers to the ‘50s with an episode filmed in front of a live studio audience, and Wanda dresses up in the quintessential housewife garb, not a hair out of place in her voluminous bob. By the time we click on episode 2, she trades in her apron and kitten heels for a more pared-down ‘60s look, while episode 3 gives a nod to the ‘70s, complete with a Brady Bunch-style staircase and a shag haircut for Vision.

While dressing up was the fun part, time-hopping through the eras required a lot of binge-watching old sitcoms to get the mannerisms down right. Olsen studied series like The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Brady Bunch, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Bewitched to “understand the tones of each era” and get a grasp of how Wanda and Vision should act as a couple. (One of her favorite TV pairings was Jane Kaczmarek and Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle.) She was fascinated by the way female characters evolved through the decades: “You have to learn appropriate manners—what’s considered being polite or proper. That coincides with women’s voices changing,” she explains. “I enjoyed challenging myself to match the syntax and the lyricism. I live in a very chest-register kind of deep voice. I had to remember not to bring it up at certain moments.”

For so long, Wanda served as a supporting character to Marvel’s biggest names, and the formulaic mundanity of the major theatrical releases made it easy to get comfortable. WandaVision offered Olsen a much-needed challenge. “I’ve only been working for 10 years, but there is this feeling where you start to get comfortable,” she says. “WandaVision was the furthest thing from comfortable for me. It felt intimidating. The character is a completely different thing.”

And fans hoping for a little Marvel action won’t be disappointed. “We still live up to what Marvel does,” she promises. “We just tell the story in a completely different way. It’s a very emotional, female story and it’s a story they haven’t told yet for either of our characters.” Whatever your theory is, keep the cliché condolences to yourself. No one will be uttering, “Sorry for your loss” in Wanda’s world.

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: The New Mutants (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the week following the movie first airing in the U.K, so if you haven’t yet seen The New Mutants do not read on until you have.

General Reaction:

A three year delay for the final instalment of a twenty-year franchise, was it ultimately worth it? Well as an X-Men fanatic I am always going to say yes, it wasn’t a swan song or a wrap up to the X-Men Cinematic Universe, far from as it was originally pitched as the start of a trilogy and does sew the seeds for that. However, while Dark Phoenix did feel like a sombre instalment not only for that “First Class” timeline but also the team movies as a whole, this had an air of sadness to it because this is the last time I will see anything X-Men related on the big screen for who knows how long.

In that sense, this was an emotional movie for me, more than just the fact that the emotion of fear is a running theme through the movie. However, in terms of my actual enjoyment of the movie, it was a very good movie for what it was.

When your very final movie is effectively an origin movie then there’s always going to be that sense of incompleteness, and what this movie teases both for these characters and who is the big bad behind all of this, it’s really frustrating to know it’s over before it truly starts.

With that in mind, The New Mutants is very slow to get started as there’s a lot of exposition and because it feels like it’s own branch of the X-Men Cinematic Franchise, similar to Deadpool, there is a level of “Beginner’s Guide to Mutants 101″ at play here with the explanation of what a Mutant is and when a young or “New Mutant” first discovers their powers that, to give this movie credit, I have never truly seen explored properly outside of the comics other than a quick explanation from Storm to Jubilee in the first episode of X-Men: The Animated Series.

It’s also disappointing to know that unlike X-Men: The Last Stand or Dark Phoenix, there isn’t a sense of finality for these characters as we have just been introduced to them. Outside of Sunspot who has briefly appeared in X-Men: Days of Future Past, this is the first cinematic appearance for all of these characters. The X-Men are briefly mentioned and Professor X is alluded to quite cleverly but every character outside of Sunspot is debuting here and to know they’re never going to be seen in this continuity again with a chance to develop is very sad.

In terms of the “horror” aspects of this movie I have to say this is very comic-book horror as in how Blade in the late 90s was horror. If you know the jump scares in this movie are coming then there are no jump scares, so basically if you’ve seen the trailers you know the jump scares.

As a horror movie, it felt very much like It-lite in terms of the theme of bringing nightmares into reality, only without the hard R-rating of the blood and gore because outside of one maybe two scenes there is nothing truly horrific to look at here.

There’s also a great parallel to the Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer shown from their episode in this movie and the Smiley Men who are Illyana’s nightmare brought to life. They’re creepy like them but they’re not as sinister as them...and that is a great choice of wording considering who the big bad behind the scenes of this movie is.

As an X-Men movie, which is what this is as the New Mutants in the comics are basically younger versions of the X-Men, as I say the first half of this movie isn’t that power heavy but is about introducing and establishing this team, the second half/last third on the other hand is power heavy. Not exactly Days of Future Past or Apocalypse heavy but still heavy for the powers this group of Mutants have.

Overall generally as both an X-Men movie and a comic-book movie, this was really a great movie particularly for the first new movie I have seen since lockdown.

Characters:

So this breakdown will be easy as there’s only really six characters to talk about but I’m going to make it a seven-character breakdown as the looming presence in the shadows of this movie deserves their own section.

Illyana Rasputin:

Alright so it is somewhat difficult to say if Illyana is my favourite or if Rahne is my favourite but I ultimately landed on Illyana for first as Anya Taylor-Joy is really in the spotlight the entire way through this movie. Every time she’s in a scene she commands the attention, and all five of the New Mutants have solo scenes so for Illyana to stand out the most, this is why she is #1 for me.

I’m not entirely sure where this movie takes place in terms of the overall X-Men timeline...but considering it’s supposedly in the revised timeline and Colossus is a member of the X-Men in the late noughties/early 2010s, I imagine this is either around the same time or can even be modern day (2017 or 2020).

Anya Taylor-Joy is as suited to the role of Magik as Channing Tatum would have been as Gambit in my opinion. Not only does she have a reasonable Russian accent but she just simply looks like how Magik looks in the comics.

I loved the rebel teen angst she had all the way through from when we first meet her to the very end, not only is it fitting for the movie but in my opinion it’s fitting for the character. This is a girl that literally goes through some resemblance of hell and is effectively a serial killer so of course she is going to have this icy dark exterior.

In terms of powers, I am slightly disappointed she never fully armoured up, it was always just her left arm that she had armoured complete with Soulsword, whereas in the comics her main look is her entire body. I guess the argument could be made the majority of it is simply a uniform and her arm is the only part armoured but I would have liked to have at least seen her crown.

But Magik’s powers for me here are an interesting combination of Zatanna and Nightcrawler which is a very good combination. The scene where she first appears through limbo fighting the Smiley Men was very impressive.

I would have also enjoyed it if we had spent more time in Limbo, given that we always saw cameo flashes of it whenever she manifested a portal, but we never actually had a full scene of her in her “special place”.

Not being too familiar with the comics however, I am almost completely unaware of Lockheed as a character. My only prior knowledge is his appearance in Pryde of the X-Men as a pest and I have to say I much prefer him here. The animation of both Lockheed and the Demon Bear were stellar.

As I say, I feel we have only just scratched the surface with where this version of Magik could go. I doubt very much Kevin Feige would bring Anya Taylor-Joy back if/when he does bring the character into the MCU because he doesn’t like playing with used toys but if ever there was an exception I would hope it would be her.

Rahne Sinclair:

It is slightly obvious to think of when Maisie Williams was filming for this movie as her hair, unless it’s a wig, is in that “Arry” phase of her Game of Thrones tenure.

Because of the current entertainment climate and the non-starting stance this movie finds itself released in, I think the lesbian romance between Rahne and Dani is going to go unnoticed. But considering this is the first major LGBT romance in a comic-book property I feel this movie will be cheated out of that representation in favour of what is to eventually come from Marvel.

Outside of the romance, I feel Rahne’s story rooted in her religion and mutation was fantastic. I love me some werewolf action and I feel I saw enough actual wolf to satisfy Rahne spending most of her time in “halfway form” as the character has been known to do in the comics.

The fact her nightmare was that religious leader branding her as a werewolf and thereby a monster, not only was it believable given her character but also the parallels to devout religious views on homosexuality were subtle but there.

I do feel the character spent way too much time screaming towards the end of the movie. This girl is a werewolf but spent most of the final battle as the screaming protector of her unconscious lover, I mean she was I guess helpful in waking Dani back up but never truly let rip like I feel the character could have.

I’m not entirely sure if Williams has any Scottish heritage about her but the slipping in and out of the accent was slightly distracting at times. When she was able to be loud the accent was often broken but in her quieter moments or longer dialogue scenes you could hear it.

I do appreciate keeping the nationality of the character from the comics, considering the mess they made of Banshee and Moira MacTaggert, and I do understand having an at the time name talent like Maisie Williams in the role, but there are surely Scottish actresses out there and the casting pool wasn’t exactly high for this movie.

Dani:

The main character in this movie, or focal character I guess as it’s an ensemble movie, is either Illyana or Dani, but because we start with Dani and are introduced to the other characters through Dani I guess she is the focal character.

Again, I give credit to the movie for keeping the nationality of the characters from the comics, but while Anya Taylor-Joy and Maisie Williams border on appropriation as they are not Russian or Scottish themselves, although Anya is of Scottish Argentine descent, Blu Hunt is at least Native-American as Dani is. I think they come from different tribes but I don’t think people are going to focus too much on that technicality.

Similarly to all these characters I don’t really know much about Dani so have no frame of reference to compare her to. I remember she appeared in one episode of X-Men: Evolution and I know her powers involve dreams, which similarly to the majority of the characters in this movie lends itself beautifully to a horror movie, but that’s about it.

I felt her relationship with Rahne was genuine and her own “survivors guilt” over being the only member of her family still alive after the Demon Bear attack was well explained.

I just didn’t understand why it was decided that Reyes had to kill Dani because of the severity of her powers, maybe it was the unpredictability of her powers because their limitations are literally the power of imagination, but I thought Reyes was responsible for sorting out those capable of being killers...surely the power to bring nightmares to life as many times as it takes to kill the person qualifies?

With the Demon Bear being tamed at the end of the movie, I kind of don’t see anywhere for Dani to go if they did continue, she still has the power to solidify nightmares, and I guess she can always call on the Demon Bear, but unlike Rahne or Magik I do not see any further development for her.

Sam:

Sam Guthrie aka Cannonball was an interesting one for me as I knew the character and I knew the actor, but hadn’t properly seen either one fully explored before. I have not watched Stranger Things so do not really know Charlie Heaton’s acting potential...but what I do know is he is from Yorkshire and cannot really do a Kentucky accent.

As for the character of Cannonball, I thought that early scene of him strapping himself to that weight while zooming through the air to either test himself or hurt himself was really well realised. There wasn’t enough of him going full cannonball throughout the movie, mostly it just came across as a sort of super speed which in a way I guess it is but projecting that force-field while he is zooming about is what makes the power set unique.

Similarly to Dani he had guilt over his nightmare which was him causing a mining accident which killed his co-workers and dad, but unlike Dani who never really developed the thought of it being her fault for her family’s death because of her conjuring the Demon Bear, Sam did at least hold a lot of guilt over what had happened...despite his nightmare being probably the weakest as the main effect it had was totalling a washing machine.

I also didn’t understand the back-to-back scenes of Sam suggesting he was meant to be in the hospital and felt he had to be there, but then in the next scene him trying to walk out saying he doesn’t belong there. Maybe it was the editing but it just seemed like a complete 180 from scenes that were literally back-to-back.

Roberto:

As I said this is Sunspot’s second cinematic appearance and I guess in the revised timeline he has gone from being portrayed by Mexican actor Adan Canto to now Brazilian actor Henry Zaga.

I didn’t feel the boys in this movie had that much to do, with both Sam and Berto it did feel like them simply coming to terms with their powers. I did like how both had that fear of hurting people and both had to learn I guess to push past that fear.

With Berto’s fear though, I do feel his power first manifesting in conjunction to him reaching sexual maturity was very well explored, because of course the combination of testosterone and becoming a living solar flare are not exactly two things anyone wants to mix. So when the result is burning your girlfriend to a crisp it is going to shake you.

Outside of his powers though there wasn’t a lot to the character and it is hard to remember a good line that he or Sam had that weren’t douchey, but for what we got he was a good character.

Reyes:

Wow this woman deserved to be eaten by the Demon Bear, which by the way I found almost as humorous as Katie McGrath being carried away by a pterodactyl in Jurassic World.

But yes, this doctor was the “villain” of the movie as she was the agent of the big bad Essex Corporation in charge of determining the new mutants’ powers and whether or not they’re worth progressing to their facility.

Outside of that I didn’t really think much of her as a character, she wasn’t a sympathetic character, she wasn’t believing to be doing this for the benefit of these young mutants, she was simply following orders.

It’s a deviance from the comics where Reyes is a hero and member of the X-Men, whereas here she is far from it.

Alice Braga is also regionally appropriately cast as she is Brazilian whereas the character is Puerto Rican, although whenever she spoke I kept thinking about Gal Gadot a lot, even looks wise there are similarities.

Sinister:

Now let’s talk about the looming big bad who I imagine would have been the major big bad of this supposed trilogy. Despite the new mutants believing the facility to be owned and run by the X-Men, it is in fact run by the Essex Corporation...Essex as in Dr. Nathaniel Essex, a biologist obsessed with evolution who became the Mutate supervillain Mister Sinister.

I want to see Mister Sinister in a live-action movie so badly it’s unreal, they’ve done Apocalypse so why they can’t do Sinister I don’t know.

This isn’t the first time Sinister has been alluded to as the Essex Corporation was in an end credits scene of X-Men: Apocalypse that acquired samples of Wolverine’s blood presumably to create X-23, but because those events took place in the 80s and these events take place in somewhat modern day it’s hard to correlate the two.

Obviously we are no longer going to get X-Men movies in this universe and continuity, but with the seeds being sown for Sinister more than once now, the baton has been laid down for Feige to finally bring this villain to life.

Reccomendation:

If like me you are more or less interested in just completing the twenty-year franchise because you love these characters and any interpretation of them then this is the movie for you. However, don’t expect wall to wall action, and I would recommend not getting too attached to these characters. It’s too late for me with Illyana I already love her and already feel Anya Taylor-Joy has set a high bar for whoever plays Magik next.

But for me personally, this franchise has been my favourite movie franchise and my favourite property. Even the bad movies I can at least find something good about them regardless of if the overall movies have been good or not. But just to reiterate, I do feel this is one of the good movies.

In a ranking of the 13 movies (not counting Once Upon a Deadpool), this ranks somewhere between #6-8 for me.

Overall I rate the movie a solid 8/10, by no means the best or a perfect X-Men movie but by no means one of the worst. The movie benefits from new characters (aside from Sunspot) but suffers due to the inevitability of this being the definitive end for the current franchise.

So what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.

[sketchy-saram]

Hello! This is Chapter 2 of a Kiwren (Kiran/Wren) story I wrote a while back, although you can find it in their tag if you want to read part one! For anyone who is new, Kiran is @lazyvoyager​‘s fan kid of Illain and Muriel, and Wren is the adopted kid of my Celeste and Julian.

Summary: After seeing her crush with someone else, Wren goes to drink her sorrows away at the Rowdy Raven...after hatching a plot to leave Vesuvia, fate has other plans, and she is rescued just in time to throw up on her rescuer and pass out. xD

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

KIWREN CHAPTER 2

     Wren stood in the middle of a beautiful meadow. Dappled sunlight shone through the cherry blossom trees, petals gently floating down to the ground and forming a pillowy, light-pink carpet under her feet. She was barefoot--oh, no, she was actually wearing extremely cute slippers, with ribbons that tied up the length of her calves, meeting with the frothy hem of her skirt. It was a dress she had been toying with, beautifully tailored, and now she was wearing it here--wherever here was--and the scene was absolutely perfect. She reached for her braid, only to realize her hair was already loose and in gorgeous honey-amber waves, and had grown a foot or two as well, adorned with a cherry-blossom crown at the top.

     Everything was adorable and elegant, and the warm glow she felt wasn’t only from the sun, especially when she glanced across the field and saw the love of her life standing there. He was tall and svelte; that scar across his face adding such character; the dark lines of the tattoo on his chest just peeking out from underneath a billowing white linen shirt. The sight of it had Wren feeling weak in the knees; her stomach trembled, her heart fluttered.

     Giddy, she began to run through the petals towards him, in what felt like slow-motion...or, maybe she was running in slow motion? Weird...and he turned to look at her fully, a smile spreading across his face, his arms opening wide in preparation for her. Any confusion she felt was forgotten. 

     Perfect.

     And then there was the oddest sensation of falling. A sudden drop. Everything around her darkened to the black of deadest night. She was barely able to catch herself...except, wait, she hadn’t caught herself at all. She was in a firm grip, surrounded by muscle. Her stomach pitched; this time uncomfortably. Wren’s eyes wildly rolled, trying to find where he had gone...only to see him, walking away, his arm around a beautiful woman with curves everywhere and ever-expanding breasts…

     With a jolt, Wren sat up in bed, sweat covering her face and neck, what was left in her stomach threatening to come up. With a heroic amount of effort, she choked it back down, although it was touch-and-go for a few seconds. When at last she could open her eyes without the room spinning, it was with no small amount of consternation.

     While she was pretty sure she was no longer dreaming, this was not  the room she remembered. It wasn’t her room, and, she was fairly certain, it wasn’t ANY room in her house. She wasn’t even sure it was a room, if she was being honest. Was that...a tree root? Was this house built into a tree? Was that sanitary? Didn’t bugs live in trees? Squirrels? Birds? 

     Were there birds in this house??

     Her mind whirled, and she had to press her hand to her mouth again and stop all thought in order not to be sick. The strange musty smell surrounding her didn’t help, and when she looked down at the blanket that had pooled around her waist, she realized it was some sort of pelt. 

     Opening one eye, she tried again to take stock of where she was, and to remember what had happened. Why couldn’t she remember? What did she do last night??

     And then the last part of the dream flashed before her eyes in stark relief. 

     Oh. That’s right. That part...wasn’t a dream. Well, the enormous breasts part might have been, but the rest wasn’t. Her chest seized in pain before she could stop herself from thinking about it. She didn’t want to think about it, and luckily for her, there were other pressing matters to focus on. Wren could recall walking through town, dwelling on her misery, and then…

     She groaned.

     The Raven.

     Yes, that was where it had all gone south, so to speak. She had a vague recollection of leaving, and something about her sketchbook…?

     Ugh. Her mouth was like cotton, every part of her face felt puffy and blotchy from yesterday’s crying, and she desperately wanted to curl under a blanket that wasn’t made from animals and pretend not to exist for at least a day. Maybe a couple months. If she could, she would hibernate this whole heartache away. But, it seemed, that was never going to be her luck, so instead, she had to figure out what to do next.

     Gingerly, Wren threw back the rest of the hide with her forefinger and thumb, revealing with relief that she was still wearing everything from the day before...with a few new, dubious stains. She added fresh clothes and a shower to the list of things she would have killed for right about then. Instead, she got her feet planted on the roughly-hewn wooden floor, just about ready to try standing…

     When the door of the hut? room? crashed open to reveal one of the biggest men she’d ever seen.

     Reflexively, she grabbed the hide again, yanking it up to her chin to cover herself despite being fully clothed. The stranger didn’t seem to notice as he looked towards her, his face a mess of freckles and beaming smile in dark, sun-tanned skin. The visage looked vaguely familiar, but the pounding of her heart stopped Wren’s mind from being able to place it. 

     “You’re awake!” he said, voice booming cheerfully around the homely abode. It was not as deep as she might have expected from someone so...well...built. “I wasn’t sure what we were going to do with you if you didn’t wake up, honestly.”

     That statement had the hairs on Wren’s neck bristling, and instead of staring at this newcomer, she remembered that all else aside, she was in a dangerous situation. A woman, alone with an extremely burly man, in a strange place, unsure of what was happening. 

     Well, she wasn’t going to go down without a fight, that was for sure.

     She screamed, and the sound seemed to have the desired effect--the stranger froze, and it gave her enough time to scramble up, her entire attention only on reaching the door he’d left open in his wake. She could see the outside through it--if she got there, she was free.

      “Wait!” The man’s face was creased in confusion, and his eyebrows rose almost comically. In fact, watching the series of expressions was almost interesting--Wren had never seen someone with such an openly expressive face. Every thought seemed to cross its deep-set, rugged expanse.

     Is he simple? Wren thought. She didn’t know if that would help or hurt her situation. So far, nothing seemed to have happened to her, but she didn’t want to stay any longer than necessary to find out. Glancing to her side, she saw she was next to a low-banked fireplace...and right by her hand was a cast-iron skillet. Grabbing it, she held it out in front of her like a sword.

     To her surprise, the man actually took a step back, his green eyes widening.

     “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.” 

     Slowly, she crept her way along the floor, her eyes firmly held on the stranger, whose face was now comically torn between concern and confusion.

     “Listen, I didn’t mean--”

     “Nope. Don’t say anything.”

     “But I--”

     “Shoosh.”

     “You really should just--”

     “You have the wrong girl, buddy.”

     At last, Wren reached the door he had come in through, and risking a look back at it, saw that it wasn’t locked. She brandished the skillet at him once more, then tossed it on a nearby table and swiftly turned, slipping through as quickly as her still-wobbly legs would carry her.

     Finally! Freedom!

     Outside, bright noon-time sun was filtered through a thick layer of forest vegetation, and Wren realized with a start that she was in the middle of the woods. Her stomach, still in a bad way, tied itself into further knots. She could be almost anywhere, although the Dark Forest seemed the most likely answer. Now, from outside the hut, she could see that it was indeed built into the roots of the nearby trees, and a newer addition looked like it had been added onto the original one-room home haphazardly. Maybe by magic? It honestly did not look architecturally sound.

     Here in the yard there seemed to be a host of various animals roaming, cultivated in a miniature forest farm--chickens pecked the ground around Wren’s feet, and she had to jump back to avoid one that was aiming for her toes.

     Now even chickens are trying to get me? Could I catch a break for one freaking second?!

     Wren sucked in a deep breath, trying to center herself, her eyes nervously trained on the door. She could vaguely tell which way the sun had risen from, which meant she knew which way Vesuvia was. You didn’t learn nothing about wayfinding growing up on a ship, after all. Her house sat beyond the Vesuvian walls to the west of South End, which was the complete opposite of town from the Dark Forest. Great. She was tired before she even started, but with a groan, Wren set off into the woods.

     She hated the woods. They were full of bugs and dirt and rocks and...nature. Honestly, nothing good came out of the woods, of that she was sure. Still, the fresh air was nice for her queasy hangover stomach, and it seemed to jog awake her half-asleep brain at last as the adrenaline faded away. She had time to think about that man, who had seemed vaguely familiar, although she was sure they’d never met before…

     And then something from her dream-that-wasn’t-a-dream dawned on her. Falling, and strong arms catching her like a doll from thin air. It certainly could have been him...he looked like he probably snapped tree trunks over his knees for fun. Arms strapped with muscle every which-way. At the time, trapped in a room with him, that had been unsettling, but now…

     Wren coughed, shaking away the thought. His outfit, on the other hand, was an absolute tragedy. With that build, she thought, there were a few styles she could imagine that would better suit--

     My sketchbook! 

     With absolute horror, Wren realized she no longer had possession of her sketches, even as her hands patted her down to be sure. Had they been left behind in South End? Or were they… She turned to look back over her shoulder, where the hut had already vanished, but a faint puff of smoke from the chimney still gave away its location. 

     I can’t go back there for my sketchbook. That’s crazy. That man could be an axe-murderer you surprised before he had time to murder you.

     But...that book had all of my most recent designs. A month of work, gone. I’ll never remember all the details exactly as they were. I don’t want to have to start them from scratch again…

     After a brief mental struggle, Wren finally turned on her heels with a sigh, begrudgingly headed back in the direction she came.

     There was still no sign of anyone when Wren quietly snuck back into the clearing, chewing her thumbnail as she thought about how to proceed. The man hadn’t actually done anything to her...maybe if she just...asked him about the sketchbook, he would answer her? It was so crazy, it just might work. So, sucking up her courage and trying to pull her flyaway mane of hair from her face, Wren stomped across the grounds and back to the door of the hut.

     Just as she was wondering whether or not to knock, it swung open, revealing the stranger again. They blinked at each other, unsure who was the more surprised.

     “You!” he began, obvious surprise in his tone. It was startlingly loud--did he ever just say anything without shouting?

Wren glanced around, wishing she had brought the skillet with her. Instead, she bent down and grabbed the best thing she could find--which happened to be a nearby roosting chicken, who clucked indignantly in her grasp.

     It was probably a poor choice of weapon, she thought, but hoped it might at least stop him from attacking her outright. What she hadn’t expected was this tree-trunk of a man to suddenly look so panicked and fretful.

     “Wait wait! Just...wait!”

     “You. I don’t know who you are, or what I’m doing here, but if you don’t want this...chicken...harmed…”

     “No, not Mr. Cluckers!”

     “...” Wren blinked, then shook her head. “...Yes, if you don’t want Mr. Cluckers harmed, then listen to me and answer my question. Do you have my sketchbook?!”

     “Your what? Be careful with her, she’s old!”

     Mr. Cluckers let out another string of cries from under Wren’s arm.

     “Why did you name your chicken Mr. Cluckers if it’s a girl chicken??”

     “We never name them, my dad does!”

     “That’s not--okay, whatever, that doesn’t matter. My sketchbook! Do you have it?”

     The man stood with his arms raised, large hands that looked like they were more callous than skin, and Wren couldn’t help being struck by the absurdity of this situation. He was actually, really and truly scared for the chicken, and it was beginning to make her feel bad as he struggled to think around his fear.

     “I...maybe? Was that all those papers you had? Yeah, I have them in the house! I made you breakfast! Can we just...could we talk about this?”

     After a tense moment where Wren looked between the man and Mr. Cluckers, she finally let out a huge sigh, holding the chicken in both hands and tossing it out into the yard, where it flapped its wings and came to an awkward landing amongst its fellows. Visibly, the large stranger relaxed, wiping the sweat off his forehead and running a hand over his short brown hair.

     “Fine. Talk.” Wren ground out grumpily.

     He opened his mouth. Instead, an extremely loud grumble practically rattled the leaves on the trees around them, and Wren felt her face flame as she realized the sound had come from her stomach. She closed her eyes and grimaced. Was there a chance that the Dark Forest would swallow her whole? At this point, she wasn’t even sure why she was worried about what this man might do to her--her entire life was nothing but a string of misery and embarrassment, anyway.

     When she opened her eyes, to her surprise, he was grinning, and it made him seem more youthful, somehow. In fact, despite his hulking size, she would have almost wagered he wasn’t too much older than her--maybe Felix’s age.

     “Are you sure you don’t want to come in? I made eggs,” he said, gesturing towards the door and holding it open.

With a flick of her messy braid and a loud ‘harrumph’, Wren stomped past him and entered the hut again, avoiding his mirthful eyes.

Well, she was hungry, anyway. A few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

[toku-explained]

The Befriended Dragon Swordsman

Heroes' Odyssey: After a look at Z and Geed's team up against Gilvalis, we begin a look at Warriors of Light.

Saber: Storious does a ritual on Legeiel's book to draw his power to the limit by adding a new page, so Legeiel can have his revenge on Saber. In an effort to befriend the boy, Touma deliberately transforms into Primitive Dragon, doing so in Liberation to be safe. Each time the boy lashes out and cancels the transformation. Legeiel begins his rampage. Touma realises while rushing to help Buster and Saikou there the boy's loneliness is that of one who doesn't know where everyone he knew went. When he goes to fight, Primitive Dragon takes over, leaving Saikou trying to restrain him. Rintaro and Kento arrive. Touma starts to make it through to Primitive Dragon, staying transformed despite Kento's expectations. When Legeiel goes for Saber after defeating the others, Rintaro defends him, deciding to trust his resolve. The boy shares his loss, and Touma tells him the continuation of his story, as he found his friends again in the elements. Legeiel defeats Rintaro, only for his attack on Touma to be worthless when Touma now stands, his bond with the boy solidified in the Elemental Dragon book. Saber and Legeiel fight, Saber asking about his being human, which Legeiel seems to deny, before remembering when they all came to Wonder World for the first time. He refuses to accept it, and Saber is forced to put him to rest. After, Touma finds the boy again, accompanied by Tassel, who tells him he needs to find Luna as soon as possible. As the Northern Base members regroup, Rintaro has found his resolve, and Kento remains sure the future will not change.

Zenkaiger: Magin appears to be into fortune telling, we saw a hint of that last time. The world has frozen thanks to Kori World, whose working under Barashitara. Both sides are incapable of fighting well thanks to the ice, sending the Zenkaigers crashing into Magin. Turns out when she was even younger she was Zyuran's neighbour in Kikaitopia, and he's protective of her. Since arriving in this world she hasn't met anyone she knew until now. They let her stay, but she isn't interested in joining the Zebkaigers, feeling she lacks any physical skills. She does fortunes to try to find Kori World, unsuccessfully. She blows up at Gaon when he badmouths fortune telling, before deflating and saying she's just useless at it. Kaito manages to cause her to remember why she started in the first place, before they rush to face the Tojitendo. Kaito doesn't know what an Ice Age is. Magin decides to join the team, and this time rather than just shooting a Kudakk, almost shoots herself. Magin somewhat resembles Houka's outift, and as ZenkaiMagin is in the vain of the "Mystic Sentai" resembling MagiKing. They use the Toqger gear for a link up attack, then Magin uses magic to help them move on the ice. They defeat Kori World, then a Kudaitest absorbs the gear to become Dai Kori World. They go in ZenkaiOh ZyuraGaon, but even now they're having trouble with the ice. Magin grows to become MaginDragon, which definitely references MagiDragon, and maybe Gosei Dragon. Kaito combines her with Zyuran, forming ZenkaiOh ZyuraMagin. This weakens Dai Kori World enough for ZyuraGaon to finish the job. Vroon is again witness to Koritopia being liberated. A last fortune says the glasses will come to them.

ZenkaiRed Introduction: I do question why they did this so early, I know it's for White Day, but why. As with the All Red team up from Super Sentai Movie Ranger, this is set in the future, indeed it's a sequel to that story. It's nice to see Ise Daiki again. Don't have subs yet. Kaito seems to have been heavily bothered by the comments about him not being red from the last warriors, which leads to him messing up in battle against some Kudaks and a Kudaiter, until the mysterious ZenkaiRed appears and defeats the Kudaiter with his blade technique. Ijirude presents to Tojitendo his new soldier, Normal Warumono World, which seems to be identical to Super Warumono World. At the shop Secchan brings up the fact there were only 5 Geartlingers right before Kai appears and introduces himself, saying as red he should be Zenkaiger leader, and the others should be human. He heads off to deal with Normal Warumono World, Gaon is the first to follow him and mysteriously changes into a human. Arriving at Normal Warumono World, the regular team goes, only for things to go sideways when Gaon can't transform. Kai transforms and battles, Normal Warumono World saves himself from the blade attack but using 3 Kudaks as a shield. Kai leaves, and Gaon goes after him. As they all call after him, Magin suddenly becomes human too, to all of their confusion.

Zenkaiger Special File: Didn't bother with the first, which just showcased Kaito and Zyuran's changes, this one is set after the team assembled, and featured Kickboxing World, which turns Zyuran and Gaon into toys and traps them in his ring. Magin calls an interval, which the team uses to steal them back, and physically combine them into ZenkaiOh so they can defeat Dai Kickboxing World.

Dogengers: Yabai Kamen brings them all of Shikadoshima. The heroes stand at Tanaka's side, the villains join Yabai Kamen, and the battle begins. Each hero faces their villain from earlier. Yabai Kamen, frustrated by Rookie actually managing to hit him, mocks I-Doll as he goes to his full armament, Rookie saying that she was absolutely alive. Each her defeats their opponent, but Yabai Kamen stands out, now voiced by Seki Tomokazu and in his COMIC Ver. Which originated in the YABAI comic and the creation of a real suit was crowdfunded. He seemingly kills Tanaka, and defeats the other heroes. Kitaqman begs Tanaka to wake up, and before Yabai Kamen can make the killing blow, Ohgaman arrives, having dug to the Yamataikoku Era to find the other Golden Seal, which he uses on Tanaka. Tanaka finds himself in the memory of the room he played in with Yuki, alongside Insurgent and Doll, who ask him to show them his future. He awakens, and transforms into Rookie Memories Mode, with each arm taking on the features of one of the I-Dolls. Reaching out, he now draws Golden Seal from El Brave's belt, Fukuokaliber's Clear File, Yamashiron's stomach and Kitaqman's phone. This power altogether is enough to defend against another attack, before he uses the power on everyone. This brings about El Brave Champion Form, Fukuokaliber is joined by the original, Aoiron and Daidairon are brought out from Yamashiron, and Metal arrives to assist Kitaqman, who's now in the all red Jyuketsu Form. Furthermore, Yuki's safe, freed by Eboshi Musha. And so Ohgaman gives this gathering of heroes a name... Dogengers.

Dogengers 11.5: A stageshow from right before the last episode aired. Shaberryman starts us off, but before he can do anything Fukuokaliber shows up and defeats him, at which point Kitaqman joins him, then runs off when asked to do something, Fukuokaliber chasing after, but soon El Brave is here to face Shaberryman, joined by Yamashiron, and before long Rookie is here. He stumbles, giving Shaberryman an opening, but Ohgaman comes to take over and utterly demolishes him. The Dogengers gather together on stage. The team discuss things, Rookie still having confidence issues, but they encourage him, the team wave to the audience and leave. Yabai Kamen and a pair of Karami take the stage, posturing, until Kitaqman brings Rookie to test his skill. The fact this is a Hero Show keeps being mentioned. Yabai Kamen storms off, leaving the Karamis to face the heroes, Kitaqman calls on El Brave to do the actual fighting. Yabai Kamen sulks when Ohgaman and Yamashiron greet him, Ohgaman fights him, but Yabai Kamen isn't doing anything, Yamashiron interrupts and after some talk the heroes leave. After more posturing Fukuokaliber comes to face him, until Shuraomaru takes the stage to face him instead, defeating Fukuokaliber. The rest minus Ohgaman arrive, Rookie makes a futile attempt to attack, and then Yabai Kamen revives I-Doll, she doesn't speak and demolishes the heroes. Ohgaman arrives, encouraging the others to fight against the villains, but Rookie isn't able to act until Ohgaman defeats I-Doll, joining the fight. When Ohgaman apologises for defeating I-Doll, Rookie says the real I-Doll is in his heart. Shuraomaru faces Fukuokaliber, Yamashiron, Kitaqman and El Brave, 3 of whom defeat him, and Rookie and Ohgaman face Yabai Kamen, but the rest of the team don't let the finish happen until they receive audience cheers and do the roll call, then join together to defeat Yabai Kamen. After the heroes leave, Gulf and Gallia appear, depressed over missing the show.

[mantra4ia]

Desires: Lucifer season 5 on Netflix

Created: August 21, 2020. Last Modified: August 22, 2020.

Preface: Alright my Lucis, here’s the sitch: it’s been a minute. Life got a bit chaotic I wasn’t able to start season five quite on time when it premiered on August 21st because I haven’t finished the great 2020 Lucifer rewatch. I’m nearly done however and should be able to jump into it either later today or tomorrow, which is why beforehand I want to — as I’ve traditionally done for a few seasons — create a desires list and keep a tally throughout the season to see how many are met. I am going to try to pace myself, not binge, and watch a single episode a day so don’t spoil me. Likewise I will tag my spoilers. Here we go... #21DaysofLucifer

Season 3 and 4 Roundout - Desires Fulfilled / Questions Answered

✔We’ve seen other demons “like Maze” and a bit of what havoc they can reek. Well sort of. To be quite frank, although it was cool to see them possess the recently deceased, it wasn’t as impending doom as I was expecting. They didn’t seem nearly as disciplined or intimidating as Mazikeen, even Dromos, more bored and desperate.

✔ We’ve seen a little more or the heavenly host in Remiel. Remi was cool, if a bit intense. Her character, and her affinity to Amenadiel was a nice foil to see how far his character has come in evolution. But again like Uriel was for Lucifer, she kind of became a driving force character device to push Amenadiel’s growth. So I wonder if we’ll get to see more of her or not.

✔ (s3) The backstory of Lucifer’s arrival in LA, finding LUX, and making a deal with Amenadiel.

✔ (s3) Cain finally went to hell, YES! Not that I didn’t like Marcus Pierce/Tom Welling, there were some great interactions there, but I just think he was a wishy-washy antagonist based on how he was written and I can’t wait to trade up for Michael.

✔ Maze finally had some happiness and attachment to this silly mortal coil and it slipped away! Why Eve why? I love Maze’s bonding with humans, Linda, Trixie, Chloe. But I love that after a Millennia of serving, and then watching Amenadiel and Linda be happy in a family unit, that she might actually make her own and my hopes were dashed. 

Things we got that we didn’t even know we wanted. SO GOOD:

Season 4 ep 8: Amenadiel bonding with Caleb and confronting community violence, police brutality, and systemic racism. It was a rough episode to be sure, but absolutely needed,

Chloe talking Lucifer down and out of a self-hatred spiral and his transformation into full-fledged devil and back again.

Lucifer playing Creep on repeat while missing the detective (even after insisting in a therapy session that “he’s not a teenager playing Adele on repeat) and Mr. Said Out B**** trying to rob Lucifer and gun point and ultimately get rich. What a fun twist.

The Dan and Maze Los X’s fight. They are wicked good at laying down the  hurt on the criminal element and I was wondering when they’d pair up again after dispatching Warden Perry.

The devil in a bar fight! I mean, it’s only fair since the ladies had their brawl. I love how this fight sequence was filmed in bursts of slo-mo from various angles, involved everything from fists, to tasers, knives, bottles, and the infamous pool cue, and they picked the perfect song for pacing (Jake Bugg, Lightning Bolt, could listen to it all day on repeat.)

Time for all good demons to go home / Enough, you will bow down to your king. Go home! (aka appropriate use of Devilish intimidation face)

Amenadiel vs Remi 

A Rocky montage with Lucifer and Amenadiel / Amenadiel’s face the first time Lucifer drives the Corvette

Lucifer at the roller derby

Chloe the YA fangirl

Maze teaching Trixie about knives, with each handle decorated in a different toy.

Amenadiel and Chloe catching up: your father is so proud of you. Like and angel BOSS!

SEASON HIGHLIGHTS:

★ (s3) Amenadiel taking Charlotte home

★ Dan being comforted in his grief by Amenadiel

★ Amenadiel’s wrath and the brotherly duo tag team to lay the hurt on the drug dealer that got Charlie killed. It’s been a while since we’ve seen warrior angel ready to dispatch anyone in his way. And it was glorious!

★ (s3) Lucifer’s almost driving lesson with Trixie “Morningstar”

★ (s3) Maze torturing Lucifer by making him think he’s the Angel of San Bernadino

★ (s3) Amenadiel and Lina helping to dispose of Lucifer’s wings

★  Lucifer kicking Julian, Tiernan’s son, through a glass pane window

★ The goodbye kiss between Lucifer and Chloe

 DIDN’T LIKE:

☒ (s3) Cain playing guitar and singing. What is he, a crime lord, a top cop, or an act that the improv club wouldn’t take? 

☒ Eve. I liked Eve, but we mostly got to see one side of her around Lucifer, and a kind of floundering an confused side when she was with Maze. The side that I would have liked to see more of was the maternal side that came out when she briefly talked about Abel or was interrogated by Trixie. That made her more layered.

☒ Father Kinley. That dude is just meh.

☒ Dan’s broken heart and rebounding with Ella. Don’t get me wrong, its a good arc, but I don’t see it lasting

☒ (s3) Abel and Reese. Those were two side stories I could have done without, although they had great moments of humor. I quite enjoyed Reese’s character, and although I didn’t like Abel Lucifer’s stick-figure comic illustration of Cain fighting with him over a rock was quite enjoyable.

WHAT I TRULY DESIRE: SINFUL SEASON 5, my BURNING QUESTIONS, and SPECULATIONS

Obviously, don’t spoil anything for me, but if any of my desires end up coming true in any of the first eight episodes maybe drop me a hint in the comments...

A big time jump. We need to see the lasting impact of Lucifer’s absence. I know that time in hell works differently per that episode where Lucifer saved Chloe and almost got stuck in a loop, but we still need enough time to elapse that the impact is felt on the mortal side. Or, we need to see the passage of time through a series of events without Lucifer, like a montage of character development. At least a year or so, if for no other reason then Trixie is growing up and I actually want to see her take driving lessons with Lucifer.

Last season Maze gave baby Charlie a gift, something she’d wished she’d had growing up, and previously had alluded to the language of demons, her many siblings, and teased her mother, the mother of all demons. Will we finally get to meet Maze’s mom Lilith (or however they address her)? And, in spite of Mazikeen’s found family, she still has restlessness and abandonment issues. Will her mom finally finally bring her peace, or will clashing with her resolidify Maze’s purpose on earth?

A Decker/Mazikeen team-up or girls night out 2.0 would always be appreciated. At this point its probably 4.0 if you count the bar fight and the bachelorette party.

Will we see tougher, scarier demons, or are they just warmup to the really scary depths of hell?

Speaking of hell, more hell. Tons of hell. I want to know the minutia of all the mechanics. If Lucifer’s gotta be down there in self-imposed exile, he may as well show us around. Pour us a drink.

Will Lucifer see Cain in Hell? Not that I’m dying to see more of “sad Cain” but it would be interesting to see a more dark or desperate or cunning side to him at least now that he’s actually neck deep in torment. Or, alternatively, I’m hedging my bets that he could be a good candidate to light the fire under Lucifer’s *** to get of hell back to the earthly realm. Even in hell, I’m betting Cain would have a soft spot for Chloe, and if news reached Lucifer that Michael were trying to abscond with his life and with Chloe, it would give Cain and Lucifer one last bit of “A-Hole brothers” common ground to bond over. Like “Brothers, am I right? Go kick, get Chloe back, I’ll still have enough guilt to torture me with in a few thousand years when you get back,”   

Will Lucifer fall into peril in hell of once again potentially getting distracted and stuck in a hell loop? Will his servants be satisfied with his return? Will Amenadiel bust him out.

Mr. Said Out Bitch needs a role reprise. He’s been in every season opener 2-4, we’ve gotten to know his undergarments very well.  Its high time we get to know his name and story. He’s put in the work!  

Amenadiel should be running LUX in Lucifer's absence. We got a tease of that in previous seasons (remember when he asked what would Lucifer do?) its time for that to come to fruition. Plus, any excuse to put DB Woodside in a suit, just because he wears them so well. It would also be interesting if, after that tragedy he’s experienced, Amenadiel will start taking after Luci. Maybe not the punishing, not yet, but wanting to seek out evil and corruption. It has been teased since s1 “fall as I did.” Perhaps he’ll start developing a taste for his bother’s line of work whereas he found it repugnant in the early days

Dan and Maze or Dan and Ella pair up. Both Dan and Maze are due for some happiness.

An Azrael reboot, when need more of her. She’s the angel of Death for pity’s sake. I don’t know if the original actress is still available or if they would have to recast, or if the character concept by Netflix would even be the same, but I need Azrael to be capable of sweet and unassuming and on a coin flip downright menacing.

More of Lucifer as a godparent, bless! And maybe a cool montage of “cousin” Trixie and Lucifer co-babysitting Charlie please.

Whilst on the subject of Lucifer and parenting, and without putting Trixie too much into harm’s way, I need to see what “I would do anything to protect that little urchin” looks like. Trixstar ride or die.

Father Frank, come back! I need a cameo or recurrent role pleeeeease.

Trixie in every episode. This is non-negotiable, much like chocolate cake. Beatrice is an all-star. In fact, I’ve decided that when Dad/God finally does show up, Trixie needs to be the one to get to know him / introduce him first. She’s been captain on the celestial cheer squad for four seasons, she’s earned this.

Who's going to see through Michael's facade first? I mean, I know that trailer shows Maze torturing it out of him, but as far as intuition goes, I've got a 50/50 split between Trixie and Linda, with an honorable mention to Dan.

If Michael is Lucifer's twin, does he have the same angelic compulsion skill set? Or something different? And will it work on Chloe or is she universally immune?

A “be like Mike” pop-culture reference. ******Spoilers: ******* all the trailers have revealed Michael already, so they owe us this for letting the steam out.

As far as pop-culture, how many movie and TV references will we get from Lucifer and ensemble this year? I expect A-game, from sci-fi to 80s action, on par with the previous likes of Parent Trap, Star Wars, Home Alone, Kim Possible, and Rocky.

Will Amenadiel’s necklace make a reappearance, even after he put it around Caleb’s neck in the morgue? Heavenly artifacts have a way of causing trouble in this show.

Will what finally learn what, if any, significance there is to Lucifer’s ring? Again, as all my fictional writings will attest, I really kind of want it to be a stolen little trinket from him Dad.

Plot twist: will we get to see Hell and the silver city all in one season, or is that too devilishly good to ask? It would be intriguing if Lucifer fell from Heaven for rebelling and now some threat like, for example, the mother of demons would pose a threat to the gates such that Lucifer was called upon to defend them. Not expecting anything Endgame level with a host of Angels popping up like sorcerers...but it is food for the imagination.

Plot twist: will Michael, duplicitous twin that he is, be revealed as the reason that Lucifer does not lie and can’t stand liars? Will be get a Michael back story? Is he perhaps the true rebellious son? see: my original fan conjecture here.

Additional links to previous recaps, roundouts and wishlists: 

Season 1: Best Moments // Season 2: Predictions, Desires, Roundout, Best Moments // Season 3: Speculations, Quick-shot summary 

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

I’m going to warn you all now. This one is going to get a bit angry at the end. Normally I would try and remain as professional as possible, but in this case, I don’t feel like I would be able to.

Batman & Robin is a film that has lived in infamy since its release in 1997. Upon release, it was critically reviled, and this hatred of the film continued long into the modern day, where it frequently tops “worst films of all time lists” to the point where it actually is listed on the Wikipedia page for “List of films considered the worst.” It was nominated for at least 11 Razzies but only won a single one, and it went on to be a frequent punching bag on the {REDACTED] Critic’s web show, where he would get irrationally angry at the mere mention of the Bat Credit Card. In contemporary reviews, Mick LaSalle of The San Francisco Chronicle stated “"George Clooney is the big zero of the film, and should go down in history as the George Lazenby of the series,” which is less of a criticism and more of a compliment, if I’m being totally honest.

Most of the stars would take a negative stance towards it as well, with legend stating that if you tell George Clooney that you saw the film in theaters, he will refund you for your ticket out of his own pocket. Chris O’Donnell likewise is not particularly fond of the film, stating "It just felt like everything got a little soft the second time. On Batman Forever, I felt like I was making a movie. The second time, I felt like I was making a kid's toy commercial." And, perhaps most depressingly, Joel Schumacher himself was apparently very apologetic for the film, though this may or may not have come about because of years and years of vitriol being directed at him for making this film.

In the wake of Mr. Schumacher’s passing, I decided to re-watch the film, as I am famously rather fond of it, and I am going to tell you all why the answer to the question “Is it really THAT bad?” is a loud, resounding, NO.

THE GOOD

There’s honestly quite a lot to like here, more than you might think. I think first and foremost what you need to understand going in is that this is a silly, cartoonish take on the Burton style, blending the silliness and camp of the West series with the drama and aesthetics of the Burton films, all while adding some over-the-top, colorful flair. John Glover, who appears in the film as a cartoonish mad scientist, even has gone on record as saying "Joel would sit on a crane with a megaphone and yell before each take, 'Remember, everyone, this is a cartoon'. It was hard to act because that kind of set the tone for the film”… the last sentence makes the statement very baffling, but at least even the actors were aware of what they were doing. If this doesn’t sound appealing, well, the opening is sure to warn you off, as it is a suiting up montage with various shots of the firm butts, large codpieces, and stiff batnipples of the Dynamic Duo. The movie is very upfront about what you’re in for.

On the subject of the infamous batnipples, Schumacher stated "I had no idea that putting nipples on the Batsuit and Robin suit were going to spark international headlines. The bodies of the suits come from Ancient Greek statues, which display perfect bodies. They are anatomically correct." It seems a very odd choice, but it’s pretty clear that he meant it as an amusing little design choice and nothing more. Of course, this hasn’t stopped everyone and their mother from spewing homophobic comments about how he was purposefully making the film gayer, even from star George Clooney, who has said that he played Batman as a gay man and was told by Schumacher Batman is gay. It’s so disgusting that people did and continue to do this, because honestly, the costumes are fine, and even if they are meant to be fanservice… so what? O’Donell and Clooney’s asses look nice, as does Alicia Silverstone’s when she dons a suit. The fact hers is just as form-fitting as the other two really shows that the whole idea Schumacher did it because he was gay is ridiculous; the man was very egalitarian about the fanservice in the movie.

Whatever else Clooney says, he does a pretty great job as Batman and Bruce Wayne. His speech at the end of the film where he talks to Mr. Freeze and reminds him that he is a good man and offers to help him is honestly one of the few moments in any Batman film where Batman actually feels like the one from the animated series, a man who fights crime but also wants to help the people he’s trying to stop. Clooney just has a very natural charisma that lends himself to playing a hero, and while there are a few awkward moments in the performance, he captures the fun and charm a more lighthearted Batman should. Michael Gough’s last turn as Alfred is also surprisingly poignant, and a lot of mileage is gotten out of his genuinely tearjerking subplot.

Of course, the very best part of the film is the villains. Uma Thurman is clearly having a ball as Poison Ivy, and she gets to have a ludicrous amount of costumes as well as numerous moments of fanservice. She also has the power to turn every man around her into a simp, which is absolutely amazing and leads to quite a few scenes of Batman and Robin slapping each other over her. But f course, there’s really no doubt that the best part of the film is Mr. Freeze. He’s a combination of the sillier Mr. Freeze from the West days and the more modern take of the character most are familiar with, the tragic anti-villain who wants to save his wife; such a character would take a talented man capable of comedy and drama in equal measure. And who better than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Joel Schumacher wanted a man who looked like he was chiseled from a glacier, and Arnold certainly fits that description. He spends the movie juggling some of the most corny puns you can imagine and a lot of truly powerful, understated drama, and it really does work. You honestly get the sense that Arnold really gets Mr. Freeze and what makes him a great character. Also, that suit he has is amazing.

As a final note: the Bat Credit Card is absolutely not stupid. Linkara has defended it in the past, giving reasons why and how it could actually work, but really, all that needs to be said is… is this any more ridiculous than Shark Repellent Bat Spray?

THE BAD

So don’t get the wrong idea here; this film is far from perfect. As is the case with any comedy, the humor can be hit or miss; not all of the puns land, not all of the jokes are great. You’re never going to get a perfect comedy no matter how hard you try, and this is no exception.

As for performances, I think O’Donnell’s Robin and Silverstone’s Batgirl are a bit wonky. O'Donnell has long been a source of derision for his whining, and while I think the hate is a bit overblown, he does spend a ludicrous amount of time in this film being snippy, miserable, and arrogant. I think he actually fights with Batman more than any of the villains! Still, his performance isn’t horrible, he just gets a bit too whiny at a few points.

Silverstone is a bit of a bigger problem, but she’s not quite as bad as even I remembered. She’s pretty much Batgirl in name only, since she’s related to Alfred in this, but she’s mostly okay. The issue really is that her arc in the film is relatively bland and feels a bit shoehorned, which comes to a head where she fights Poison Ivy in a designated catfight, obviously because they didn’t want Batman to punch a woman in the face I guess. There’s just one issue with that:

On the subject of Ivy, while she definitely does have plant powers here, they’re strangely underplayed. She rarely uses them even when it would probably be beneficial, instead relying on Bane to do most of the fighting for her. Ah, Bane… Bane is one of the few things about this film I can’t really muster up any sort of defense for. While his creation scene is rather cool, it doesn’t lead to much of interest, as this version of Bane is pretty much a mindless supersoldier lackey who serves Poison Ivy. Now, this was still relatively early in Bane’s existence, as he had only debuted in 1993 and was really most famous for his signature “breaking the Bat” move, but it still is baffling why, with that famous thing fresh in everyone’s minds, that they would just choose to go and basically make Bane into Evil Diet Captain America. Surely they could have either saved him for a sequel or utilized him in a way more befitting of the character? I think this Bane is kind of responsible for the negative perception of Bane as this big, dumb bruiser, something that works like The Dark Knight Rises and Arkham Origins have thankfully gone a long way to rectifying. Bane is at his best when he’s a cunning genius bruiser; here, he’s nothing but a glorified prop.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

The answer is no. No it isn’t. AT ALL.

I’ve always felt this film came out at the wrong time. It was towards the end of the 90s, during the Dark Age of Comics when everything was dark, gritty, and edgy. The world didn’t want a movie like this back then; they wanted stuff like Blade, who would come in shortly after this film and show us how to make that aesthetic work. I guess in terms of Batman they wanted something more like Dawn of Justice, which really speaks volumes to how awful the 90s were for superheroes. 

Look, I’m not trying to convince anyone this is the greatest Batman film ever. Even I don’t think that; Batman Returns, The Dark Knight, and Under the Red Hood are all much better films. But is this really the worst Batman film now that we have the deeply misogynistic and disgusting The Killing Joke and the relentlessly bleak and unpleasant Batman v Superman? Hell, it’s not even worse than Batman Forever! At least the Batman in this film has some kind of emotional range beyond “plank of wood!” And even calling it the worst sequel ever is just… so baffling. Again, this is definitely better than Batman Forever, lack of Jim Carrey notwithstanding. And can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that this is worse than any of the Terminator sequels after the second film? Worse than Iron Man 2 or Thor: The Dark World? The almost half dozen Alvin and the Chipmunk sequels? This is only the worst sequel or even a bad sequel if it is the only sequel you’ve ever seen in your life.

A lot of the hate for it from back in the day carries a strong undercurrent of homophobia. Much like the infamous backlash against disco, it’s seriously uncomfortable, and it definitely is cruel how accusatory people were towards Schumacher’s intentions for the suits of the heroes in the film. The fact that even the two main stars have gotten in on it is a bit disgusting, though O’Donnell questioning why there needed to be a codpiece is certainly less offensive than George Clooney saying he played Batman as a gay man for… whatever reason. Was he implying that Batman being gay made the movie worse? I’m not sure what he’s on about there. Even The New Batman Adventures made a cruel dig at the film; notice the sign and the effeminate-looking boy. You could only get homophobia this good in the 90s!

The hatred of this film is absolutely overblown. It’s so ridiculous. #70 on the bottom rated movies of IMDB? #1 on the 50 worst films of all time list from Empire? Doug Walker’s personal punching bag whenever he needs to talk about a bad sequel, to the point where he literally said no one wanted a comedic take on Batman in his worst sequels video? Come the fuck on.

Joel Schumacher may or may not have ended up hating this film, but he certainly was made to feel like shit for making it… and it is honest to god not that bad! But he was just absolutely eviscerated, to the point where this was a fucking headline when he died:

Literally fuck all of these people. Fuck io9 for their insensitive headline. Fuck Empire for rating this as the worst film ever. Fuck Doug Walker for his constant bashing and his shitty old “chimp out over the Bat Credit Card” gag. Double fuck Mick LaSalle for shitting on George Clooney’s performance while also trying to say George Lazenby’s Bond was bad. In fact, fuck George Clooney for his weird idea that playing Batman as gay is a bad thing (sorry George, but I can’t defend this). Fuck the Razzies. Yes, it was nominated, but I just feel it’s always a good time to say “Fuck the Razzies.”

I will never say you have to love or even like this film, but the sheer amount of vitriol and hatred for it is absolutely beyond me. At worst, this film is just a bit too goofy, and at best, it is a fun tribute to the campy days when Batman just couldn’t get rid of a bomb. I didn’t take off my score this time. I’m proud to say I gave this an 8/10, personally. If I’m being honest, a 6.6 – 6.9 is more appropriate, because it does have quite a few issues, but god, this film is not bad at all. It’s silly, goofy, campy, and fun… but bad? Not by any stretch of my imagination. And fuck the critics for convincing an entire generation that this is Batman at his worst, when we have Batman fucking slaughtering his ways through criminals and fucking Barbara Gordon on rooftops these days. I will always take stupid ice puns over misery, murder and creepy intergenerational sex, thank you very much.

I hope you can rest easy, Mr. Schumacher. Maybe you didn’t love your film in the end but, wherever you are, I hope you know I loved it.

[aion-rsa]

What Went Wrong With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze?

https://ift.tt/3cey4oF

The story of how Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles went from underground comic book to the highest grossing independent film of all time is the stuff of Hollywood legend. But ask producer Tom Gray about the sequel, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, and you are likely to hear an altogether different tale. One of a frantically rushed production, censorship backlash and a change of director and direction. Actors were replaced, there were clashes with the comic book creators and a series of strange and unusual characters were added to the mix – including Vanilla Ice.  

Gray was head of production at Golden Harvest, the Hong Kong studio behind martial arts classics like Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon, when comedian-turned screenwriter Bobby Herbeck first approached him about a live-action film adaptation of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s cult comics.  

It’s fair to say he took some convincing.  

“I hated the idea. I thought it was stupid,” Gray tells Den of Geek. Undeterred, Herbeck pestered Gray for months until the Golden Harvest chief had a sudden change of heart.   

“I had an epiphany and thought we could just put stunt guys in turtle suits and make all our money in Japan. That was why I was interested; making it low budget. It escalated when Steve Barron came onboard.”   

Barron had made his name with groundbreaking music videos for Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” and A-Ha’s “Take on Me” and sold Gray and TMNT creators Eastman and Laird on his vision for the movie.   

More importantly, he enlisted the late Jim Henson and his legendary Creature Shop to bring the Turtles to life using state-of-the-art animatronics, which came at no small expense.   

Even so, Gray found the project was a hard sell when it came to finding a major studio willing to distribute the movie.   

“George Lucas’s Howard the Duck had just come out and bombed,” he recalls. “When I went around people would say ‘oh no I’m not going to put my name on the next Howard the Duck. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, how absurd.’ Nobody wanted to step up in the major studios.”   

Undaunted by the mass rejection (“Hollywood is always the last to know”) Gray eventually secured a deal with New Line Cinema, then best known for A Nightmare on Elm Street. 

The rest, as they say, is history.  

That first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie came from nowhere in the spring of 1990 to make an astonishing $135 million, becoming a cultural phenomenon in the process. A sequel was inevitable but the results were anything but.   

“It was rushed,” Gray says when asked for his overriding feelings about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.  “Once the first film opened, we figured we had to get another one out as quickly as possible because this whole thing could fade away very quickly if we didn’t come back.”   

Incredibly, a release date for the sequel was set for almost exactly a year on from the original. That seems crazy to think now, in the era where the Marvel Cinematic Universe is carefully plotted out years in advance, but this was 1990 and New Line Cinema. At this point the production company which was working on its sixth Nightmare on Elm Street Movie in the space of just seven years. The quality of those films had varied wildly but one thing had remained consistent: the quick turnaround.  

“New Line wanted it out on pretty much the same date, maybe a week earlier in fact. So, we rushed into the production, got a script together. The overarching thing was speed. We had to get it out,” Gray remembers. “I think that’s probably the reason why it doesn’t top many people’s list of the best Turtles movies.”   

A Change in Tone

One of the first challenges facing Gray was a tonal one. While the first TMNT film had garnered praise for maintaining the dark and dangerous feel of the original comics, not everyone was happy.   

“We started getting some pressure from parental groups. They felt it was a little too dark and a little too frightening for children,” Gray says.  

In the US, there were reports of Turtles toys and merchandise being banned in schools over worries they encouraged aggressive behavior in kids. In the UK, the characters were even rebranded the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles amid concern among censors that the word “ninja” promoted violence. Michelangelo’s nunchucks were also banned. It wasn’t just the censors who expressed concern either.   

“The toy company was also telling us that maybe we shouldn’t be too dark,” Gray said. “And then, of course, then there was Jim Henson himself, who died while we were making the first film. His whole thing from the beginning was that he didn’t want to make a really dark film. Steve [Barron] was able to convince him it was the way to go even though it was different from the Muppets and everything he had done before. They had a great relationship. Jim trusted Steve.”   

The decision was made to approach the material with a lighter tone, with Todd Langen’s original script undergoing a major rewrite to address the change. Despite the change Gray insists an attempt was made to retain some of the darker elements.   

“We tried to get somewhere in between but probably didn’t succeed.”   

Ultimately, however, the looming deadline left little room for nuance.    

“If you sit down and think about this thing too much, you’re never going to get underway,” he reasons.

A New Director  

In another notable shift that fans have questioned down the years, Barron did not return for the sequel.  

The Irish filmmaker told Flickering Myth that the shift in sensibilities was the deciding factor.   

“[It was] lighter, and all the instructions that had gone on from the first film were coming from the producers about keeping the color and lightness and getting away from the dark edge in number two,” he said. “For me it was poppy, and that wasn’t my sensibility.” 

Gray tells Den of Geek Barron didn’t come back “for reasons that I won’t go into” but during the interview paints a picture of difficulties during their work together on the first film.   

“I fought with the crew every single day but they did a hell of a job. Budgets were not adhered to but I’ve always given them credit because of their vision,” Gray says.   

The producer also revealed that the first film was re-edited from Barron’s original version after his bosses were left unhappy with the director’s cut.  

“The studio did edit the film in the end to come up with a different version.  It was felt it was cut so you didn’t get to see the roundhouse kicks and fighting which was the hallmark of Golden Harvest. When the bosses saw it in Hong Kong, they complained that they couldn’t tell what the turtles were doing. They wanted to see these guys kicking and fighting. Steve’s style was good but we wanted another look.”   

Despite Gray’s diplomatic tone, it’s not difficult to imagine such developments might have created tension. In Barron’s place came American filmmaker Michael Pressman, who Gray knew from his days at United Artists.    

“What I liked about Michael was that he was a disciplined director. Having gone through the problems with the first picture I wanted someone who shot fast and stayed on budget. That was my main motivation,” the producer says.    

A capable director who has gone on to enjoy a long and varied career in television, little of the blame for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2’s failing can fall at Pressman’s feet though it’s undeniable that some of the creative spark of the first film was lost with Barron’s exit.   

So was much of the original’s violence, with the Turtles rarely shown using their weapons in the finished film while the action set pieces were also significantly watered down.  

Eastman and Laird

Despite the criticism levelled at the sequel for failing to retain the tone of the comics, all of what went into the movie was greenlit by the TMNT creators. Part of the deal inked by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman saw them retain final approval on anything in the film. But that created other issues both at script and production level, as Gray recalls.  

“Kevin was certainly more malleable with going along with things because of the budget but Peter was very difficult to get things by because he would say ‘Oh, well Michelangelo would never say that’. So, it was very hard from the point of view of the writer trying to figure it all out.”   

Read more

Culture

The Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Songs

By Lisa Granshaw

Movies

Best Martial Arts Movies on Netflix Right Now

By Gene Ching

With Barron no longer around to mediate and sell them on the plans and with time ticking on, the pair’s reluctance to sign off on ideas led to increased tensions.  

“We argued a little bit,” Gray says. “These things are never sweet or nice. It gets down to what we can do and, in the time provided. It’s about compromise. In the end they approved Langren’s changed script.  Maybe it was reluctantly but we weren’t going to meet the demand and get this out if they kept changing things.”   

Tokka and Rahzar

One of the most noted criticisms of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 concerned the decision to introduce two new sidekicks alongside returning villain Shredder, rather than draw on the wild array of mutant animals that had featured in the comics and TV series. 

Many fans had expected to see Bebop and Rocksteady, the mutant warthog and rhinoceros supervillains made famous in the cartoon, feature. However, that cartoon outing proved both a blessing and a curse. 

“I didn’t want them in any of the movies,” Laird later revealed on his personal blog. “It’s not so much that I disliked the characters so intensely, but more that I found their constant one-note shtick in the first animated series to be extremely annoying and silly to the point of being stupid.”  

Gray’s version of events differs slightly.   

“We wanted new villains because we would get a piece of the royalty, which we didn’t have with the first movie. We figured if we created something they didn’t come up with we would get a piece of the pie. It was a business decision.”   

Together with the creatives at Henson’s Creature Shop, they “threw together” Tokka and Rahzar, a mutant Alligator Snapping Turtle and wolf respectively, based on pretty much whatever was available. 

“Those things were basically the Henson Creature Shop’s ideas, because they had to figure out, technically, what they could do, how big they were going to be and how they could move,” Gray says. “They had to design all this stuff, put someone in the suit and then wire them up or get the animatronics going to make it work. So, we just went to them and said we need a couple of villains.” 

Indeed, the resulting animatronics proved less complex and less compelling than the heroes in a half shell – and it showed on screen.   

“They were just big models,” Gray admits. “We cut corners, there’s no question about it.”   

Sweaty and Claustrophobic

Meanwhile, the turtle suits themselves had undergone little in the way of upgrades since the first film, when the actors playing the four leads experienced any number of issues. Not the least of which being the claustrophobia and sweating that comes with wearing up to 70lbs worth of turtle suit.  

The animatronics also, despite being state-of-the-art, continued to suffer their fair share of glitches.  

“We knew what the difficulties were and they were unbelievable,” Gray says. “There were days when we couldn’t even get these things set up.  We were filming right near the Wilmington Airport. We set up a shot and when it came time for action the Turtles would not speak. We realized they were on the same frequency as the airport.”    

Gray blames the lack of a major upgrade, in part, on the lack of additional budget.    

“The budget didn’t exponentially go through the roof, because of the speed,” he explains. “I have read things saying it was $20 million. It wasn’t, it was $16.5 million.”  

A New April O’Neil

Away from the animatronic issues, the human cast of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 proved a mixed bag.  Corey Feldman didn’t return to voice Donatello after pleading no contest to a drug possession charge while, more notably still, Judith Hoag was replaced by Paige Turco as April O’Neil.  

Hoag later told Variety she was never approached about the sequel, claiming her omission was a result of the fact she complained about the level of violence in the first movie and the six-days-a-week shooting schedule.  

“Everybody was beating everybody up,” Hoag said. “I thought the movie suffered because of that. It was something I spoke to the producers about, I think they thought I was too demanding, and moved on.” 

Not that Gray felt the production suffered as a result of either changes.  

“No, not at all,” he says. “Certainly not with Corey Feldman because it’s a voice. Remember when you play that movie around the world it will be in 40 or 50 different languages and subtitled anyway. It makes no difference and nobody overseas even knew Corey Feldman was doing a voice…With Judith, we thought it might be of concern but then again it’s all about the Turtles. People aren’t showing up for Judith – though she did a fabulous job – it was really all about the Turtles.”   

Elias Koteas also failed to return as the ice hockey stick-wielding vigilante and ally Casey Jones – though that was more down to the film’s shift away from adult themes and one of the more violent human characters.   

“Casey was discussed but the reason he dropped out – and I don’t think this was a major issue – was the direction we wanted to take the film,” Gray says. “We wanted to go lighter. That was part of cleaning up the act.”   

In his place came Ernie Reyes Jr, a rising martial arts star who had served as a stuntman on the first film and was introduced as Keno, a pizza delivery boy who befriends the turtles. It was a stark departure from Koteas’s character but, once again, it was one Gray says came with the backing of the TMNT hierarchy.   

“If Peter and Kevin had wanted Elias back, he would have been back. So, either we were able to convince them that we wanted to go with Ernie and they went along with it.”   

Vanilla Ice

Quite how they were convinced to include rapper Vanilla Ice in the proceedings is anyone’s guess, with the rapper turning up in a mid-film nightclub scene to perform new single “Ninja Rap.” His cameo continues to delight and horrify fans to this day. Few will be surprised by the commercially-minded circumstances that led to his appearance.   

“SBK the record label producing the soundtrack album said ‘You gotta have Vanilla Ice in this, he’s hot’ so we put him in…We had a good album out of it. Sometimes you don’t make the movie for the reason of art you make it because the thing could go away in a heartbeat. I’ve always been fairly honest and upfront about our motives. It is a business.”     

While others might disagree, Gray stands by the inclusion of Vanilla Ice in the film.  

“He actually did a very good job. He’s a very cool operative and he loved doing it.”   

Shredder or Krang?   

Looking back on the sequel, as much as anything, the most disappointing aspect was the decision to resurrect Shredder rather than explore different villains in the way other comic book franchises have.  

While Shredder has always been the main antagonist, as with Bebop and Rocksteady, there remained a plethora of colorful villain characters that could have been plucked from the pages of the original comic or the animated series. But the decision to stick with Shredder was not one takem lightly by anyone, and others were discussed.  

“We went through the whole catalogue of villains and certainly Krang and all these other characters were in play,” Gray says. “We thought of them but we stayed with what works and that’s what you do in these situations. Don’t try and get too clever.”   

As much as anything he blames the Hollywood system and a refusal to take risks. New Line too, would have no doubt been happy to press ahead with a Shredder-oriented sequel, seeing him as the TMNT’s very own Freddy Kreuger of sorts.  

“Nobody trusts their instincts,” Gray says. “You go with what worked before and try to modify it a little bit. If it works [and the plethora of Freddy sequels suggests it did] then you are justified in using the same thing over and over again.”  

Once again though the decision to stick with Shredder and avoid the kind of time and expense required to create something like Krang, a brain-shaped alien carried around in the waist of a robot man, was influenced by that release date.  

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze opened in theaters on March 22, 1991, less than a year on from the original. It went on to make over $78 million to become the second most successful independent film of all time.   

Despite turning a profit, the film garnered mixed reviews and left Gray and others disappointed.  

“It didn’t deliver on what we had hoped because there was this race against time to get it out one year after the first one. When you do that, you really have to compromise.”  

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III 

After the rush to make a second film, it was decided that they would take more time over the third one.  

But anyone hoping for a return to form was left disappointed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in TIme, which saw the gang head to 17th century Japan.  

“With number three, we were aiming something at the Japanese market, which was the number one market for foreign films,” Gray explains. “That’s why we had the time travel storyline with the samurais. That was definitely one of the motivations.”  

There was just one problem though.  

“We hoped it would get the film released in Japan. To this day, it has not been released in Japan.”  

Though Gray returned to produce an animated fourth film in the 2000s box office returns diminished with every film. By the time Michael Bay got involved in the franchise, Gray was long gone. He now considers himself “out of the turtle game” with this being one of the last interviews on the subject. But despite the highs and lows endured on the second film, Gray remains proud of what was achieved. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“These movies were made by committee. It’s amazing they turned out so well.”  

The post What Went Wrong With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3c7N9be

[allegra-writes]

Peter Parker cute Alphabet:

Hi! Could I please please please get a cute and a NSFW alphabet with Peter? Thanks! 💕

Ok, I actually had to do a little research for this one, I haven’t seen one in so long that I couldn’t remember exactly how they worked. (Update, I want to thank @padfootagain because this genius prompts come from her amazing mind, like, seriously THANK YOU 💓)And I never wrote smut before so you’ll probably gonna have to give me some time to do the NSFW one. Anyway, here’s our Cute Alphabet with the cutest Avenger:

Affection: What are those little things they do to show you that they love you?

He never let’s you forget that he loves you. He’s so excited that you are his girlfriend that he’s the most caring boyfriend in the planet, always holding your hand, always kissing your cheeks or your hands, always texting you random facts and memes he thinks you’ll find interesting or funny. He’s always making sure you’re safe too, and has the most care with his secret identity because now he has too much to loose if an enemy finds out who he really is. He simply can’t afford someone tracing you back to him and endangering you. Especially after what Mysterio did. Luckily everyone wrote it off as fake news but he takes extra measures now anyway.

Birthday: What do they do to celebrate your birthday? What is the thing you need to do to make them happy on their birthday? Are they good at giving gifts?

He’s the very first to wish you a happy birthday, knocking on your bedroom window shortly after midnight, rainbow cupcake with a single candle on his hands. He also gives you a very personal, special gift, like that hard to get book he knows you been looking everywhere for, or a very rare pigment for your art, or an original vintage Polaroid camera. He shows he truly knows you and listens to you with his gifts, he’s not one for generic gifts like perfume or jewelry (thought he did gave you a letter P pendant one Christmas that he got on Etsy, and you wear it all the time).

To make him happy on his birthday you don’t really have to do a lot, but you do anyway. You call Pepper Stark to let her know it’s Peter’s birthday and the both of you organize the best surprise party ever, with all of the remaining Avengers and of course his new “siblings” Harley and Morgan. Even Nebula shows up, because she wants to get to know the kid Tony Stark told her so much about when they were stranded on that ship (she actually thinks Peter is Tony’s biological son and Pepper doesn’t seem inclined on correcting that assumption any time soon)

Cuddles: Do they like to cuddle? Big spoon? Little spoon?

He loves to cuddle, he absolutely loves it. Whether it be while watching a movie on his couch, or lying together in your bed, he loves to wrap his arms around you. He likes to toy with the idea to keep you there forever, safe in his arms, away from the world and all its dangers.

Dating: What are they like on their first date? And those after that?

The first date was a terrible. It was a complete disaster. He had tried so hard to impress you: He had borrowed money and made reservation at some trendy french restaurant, picked you up in one of the cars Tony Stark had left him and showed up in a tux. Not that he looked bad in that tux, but you were definitely underdressed in your sundress and leather jacket. None of you even knew what any item in the menu was, and things were painfully akward.

In the end you both had ditch the restaurant and gone to a vintage Arcade to play 80’s videogames and eat burgers.

From that day on, he relaxed and you guys only go on dates that you really enjoy: Picnics at the park, stargazing trips, visits to the planetarium, and you even have plans for the San Diego Comic-Con next year.

Evolution: How fast does your relationship evolves? Weeks, months, years?

You are both young and, let’s face it, a little reckless, so things get very intense very fast. But there’s no going back now, he wants you in his life forever, you both are all in.

Flirting: Do they flirt a lot?

He’s not the smoothest of flirts but he doesn’t need to, he already owns your heart. And to be honest, you love the way you can still get him all flustered when you send a flirtatious smile and a wink his way.

Generosity: When they’re with you, is it about you or about them?

You are his princess, his Queen, his love, his everything. He is absolutely amazed by the fact that you love him back, he can’t believe his luck, can’t believe you’re his. So of course it’s all about you: He loves opening doors for you, carrying things for you, wrapping you up in his jacket when you’re cold… And when you both are alone, well, everything is still about you. More than ever.

Honey: Do they use pet names? What’s their favourite for you and for themselves?

He mostly calls you babe, sometimes princess, but he secretly loves when someone at the Avengers Tower calls you “Spider-girl” the most.

Isolation: How do they react when they are away from you?

He loathes it. Absolutely hates it. He misses you like crazy when he’s away in missions or when you are and he’s not with you. He hates not knowing if you’re safe, he hates not being able to hear your voice.

But the angst of the separation makes the reunion all the sweetest. To finally have you in his arms feels like coming home, like being where he really belongs.

Jealousy: Are they jealous? How do they react if you are jealous?

He tries not to be, but sometimes he can’t help it. It was worse when you weren’t together, because he knew you had a bit of a crush on Dr. Strange, and it used to kill him. He still doesn’t really likes when he is around. That’s actually how he told you that he liked you: He had gotten so mad with jealousy that you guys had fought. Badly. Things had gotten out of control and he ended up confessing his feelings for you in the middle of a yelling match.

You hate it but he actually loves when you get jealous, you looked hot as hell when you get mad and he loves that fire within you. Loves that he is the reason it ignites and burns.

Kisses: Lots of them? Peppering ones? Languid ones?… What about your first kiss?

He’s always peppering you with kisses, but he always asks for permission before deepening them. Sometimes vocally, asking you if he can kiss you, and sometimes in more subtle ways, nibbling or licking on your bottom lip. You love that about him, the way he never takes you for granted, not even in the smallest of ways.

Light up: What do they do to make you feel better after a rough day? How can you lighten their mood?

There’s nothing Peter Parker wouldn’t do for you. And if that means doing back flips, or some silly dance or even singing something to put a smile on your face after a long day, so be it.

You don’t really have to do a lot to make him smile, just giving him a hug, a kiss or simply being you usually makes things a lot better

Nurse: How do they take care of you when you’re sick? How do they behave when they are sick?

If you have a cold, he shows up at your door with soup, if you have a sore throat, he gets you ice cream. And if you are on your period, he gets you obscene amounts of chocolate, heating pads, Aleve or anything you need. He was raised by May, after all, so he doesn’t get spooked or grossed out by periods.

He doesn’t really get sick himself, thanks to his special metabolism. But he does get hurt sometimes. Or his senses get overload. At those times he holds you tight and buries his face in your chest cause your smell soothes him, the feeling of you in his arms grounds him to something solid and real, and the sound of your heart beating helps him focus and drown out the pandemonium of noise of such a big city like New York.

Objects: Are there any object, song, place that have a particular meaning for them or for the two of you as a couple?

Sometimes the weight of the world, of being the next Tony Stark, of being an Avenger gets to be a little too much. He gets so insecure, so full of doubt and self deprecation…

On those such times you sing to him, often to sleep. And it’s always the same tune: “Something just like this” by Coldplay. Not because you don’t think him worthy of being a hero or anything like that, but to remind him that you didn’t fall in love with Spider-Man or the next Tony Stark, but with Peter Parker, and that’s all you need him to be. In time, that becomes your song.

Partners: Are they looking for flings, one-night stands, partners to be with until their last breath? What makes them fall for you?

He wasn’t expecting to fall for you. He wasn’t expecting to fall for anyone, really. Things with MJ had just fallen apart because of what Quentin Beck tried to do to him, and he couldn’t endanger her. And to be honest, he was still mourning Tony. In conclusion, he was in a very dark place and wasn’t really thinking about girls. Like, at all. But one day, you showed up. A pretty girl in a pretty dress, but with combat boots on your feet. Fitting for a walking contradiction like you, so kind but with a smart mouth on you, to use effortlessly on the people that annoyed you. You countered all of his quick remarks readily with one of your own. So out of his league, but somehow you had like him back.

No, he definitely wasn’t looking for somebody. But now he’s got you, and he’s never letting you go. He’s going to marry you one day, he knows that in his bones.

Quarrels: How is it to have a fight with them? What do they do to make you forgive them? What do you need to do to make them forgive you?

It’s not often that you fight, which makes it all the worse when it happens. Usually it has something to do with his whole self-sacrificing-brooding-hero-“you’d-be-safer-without-me” thing. The first time you didn’t understand what was going on so you had let him leave you, without putting up a fight, cause you had thought he simply didn’t love you anymore. That one didn’t last because when you tracked his suit (your very own messed up version of social media stalking), you realized he had been following you around to make sure you were safe. You realized then two things: First, he still loved you and second, you both needed to learn a thing or two about healthy boundaries.

Ever since then, every time he tried to pull something like that again, you weren’t afraid to call him out on his BS, even if you could never really stay mad at him. Not when he looks at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes. And if those eyes happen to be red rimmed, you are done for.

But who could blame you? You are only human after all. And even while he does have super powers, you know your tears are his kryptonite.

Rings: How do they propose? The wedding? The honeymoon?

The first time the thought hits him, it leaves him breathless. You guys were just lying on his couch, watching some silly Syfy channel movie about sharks on space, when he looked up at you from his position with his head resting on your lap. You looked so beautiful in the blue light from the TV, so domestic dressed up in one of his old hoodies, and the two little words came to his mind, unbridled: “Marry me”.

The next few weeks, it just won’t leave him alone. At random moments, having lunch or studying together, walking down the street or making love, it would just play on repeat inside his head, like a prayer: “Marry me. Marry me. Marry me”, and it would take all of his will power to not blurt the words out loud.

He knows May would just freak out so he goes to Pepper, who instead of lecturing him about being too young to get married like he expected, smiles, takes off her own engagement ring and places it on his hand, telling him, “Tony had this ring for years before giving it to me. Don’t make the same mistake”. She helps him plan the perfect proposal, that of course goes to hell when the green goblin attacks the city and almost gets the better of him. Luckily you were able to sneak up on the bastard from behind and managed to knock him unconscious with a Shield issued taser.

You were so brave, so perfect, this time he can’t contain himself.

“Marry me”

You blinked, “I might have to asked my boyfriend what he has to say about that”

“Don’t. Let’s run away together tonight.” He pulled the bottom half of his mask up and then pulled you into a kiss that had the little crowd of onlookers watching the fight cheering and whistling.

And that’s the story of how you and Peter eloped to Las Vegas.

Secrets: Do they keep secrets from you and how do they react when they learn that you’ve been hiding something from them?

Well, the begining of your relationship wasn’t exactly… Forthright.

Of course he hadn’t told you he was Spider-Man, even if he was shit at keeping it secret, always disappearing, always hanging out with Pepper Stark and Happy Hogan, always getting so jumpy anytime you mentioned Spider-Man. Between that and the new bruises you found almost every night littering his body - That were gone the next morning- it wasn’t really that hard to make the connection.

You hadn’t even need to confront him about it, you just had kissed him and bid him goodbye with a “Go get them, Spider-Man” the next time he had tried to use some half baked excuse to stood you up in the middle of a movie date at your place.

“Wha- that’s not… I’m not- I’m not Spider-Man!” He had tried to scoff dismissively, what of course was completely ruined by him tripping out of your second floor window and landing on the sidewalk without a scratch.

So yeah, he wouldn’t really hold it against you if you were to keep something from him, besides, he trusts you anyway.

Tease: Do they like to tease you? How much humour is there in your relationship?

There is a lot of fun and laughs in your relationship, but he’s not much of a tease, if anything, you are the teaser of the two. However, you need to be careful because he is after all the sassiest avenger and his quick wit can outmatch your own if the need arises.

Voicing: How hard is it for them to talk about their feelings? How do they tell you that they love you for the first time?

He’s not exactly a closed off person, but he’s not the best communicator either. The things that are really important, that really affect him or make him vulnerable, he often bottles up until they get to be too much and and then get blurted out.

That’s how he told you that he loved you for the first time: He had gotten jealous, and though he didn’t mean to, he ended up making a scene. And if there is one thing that you hate with a passion, that’s jealous and controlling people. So, of course you had fought back. The discussion quickly got out of control and he ended up yelling “Because I’m in love with you, that’s why!” at you in the middle of the fight.

U-turns: What can transform your relationship in a good or bad way (what makes them confess their feelings or scares them off)?

That’s it basically: Strong emotions. Strong jealousy had cause him to confess his feelings and strong fear for your safety was the thing that almost drove him away from you. He was always very emotional when making decisions, and that’s probably the reason why they often blow up on his face.

Luckily you are a little more logical, a little more cool headed to balance his more impassionate personality. Waking up: What is it like to wake up by their side? He usually wakes up first, so normally you are arisen by strong arms tightening around you, soft, reverent caresses on your naked back or arms, or sweet nothings whispered at your hair when he thinks you’re still deeply asleep. Once your eyes flutter open, he would always try to convince you to stay in bed just a little longer. He likes to pretend that there’s no world outside your bed, only you and him. If he could, he would keep you forever there, safe in his arms Yielding: What do you have to do to convince them to do what you want? You are his weakness and you know it. It took you a while, but by now you are perfectly aware that he would do whatever you ask of him. You have him wrapped around your little finger. Zoo: Could they have a pet with you? What kind of pet? Peter Parker might be the only person in the world who is actually a bigger softy than you. Once, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man busted a pit-bull fighting ring, and after beating every human involved pretty nastily (could anyone really blame him?) He called the dog rescue, to help the poor, terrified, abused animals. The worst part were the puppies these monsters seemed to be already training for battle. He tried to remain strong, he really did, but there was this one puppy, smaller than the others, not aggressive in the slightest, cowering behind the crates. He was tiny, but already covered in scars, because, apparently he was the dog they used so the others would… practice. Very slowly, he was able to approach and grab him, but whenever someone from the rescue tried to take him, it would start crying again, looking at Peter with the saddest eyes. Eyes that were the same color as yours. It simply broke his heart. He couldn’t possibly part with it. So he didn’t. The next morning, you woke up to a still exhausted boyfriend for the first time ever not cuddling up to you, but to the smallest, cutest dog you had ever seen. That morning, you fell in love with Peter all over again, and with your new puppy for the very first time. You named him “Spidey”, in honor of the outstanding man who had saved his life.