#in defense of karen wheeler

[teambyler]

Mike DOES have a loving family (Byler analysis)

A common explanation for Mike having trouble telling El he loves her is that "he came from a loveless family." Not only is that inadequate -- Nancy couldn't tell Steve she loved him and it wasn't because she came from the same "loveless family." But I also don't think it's true.

Sure, Ted is distant. But Karen is very much emotionally available to her children. So I see this claim to be an instance of Karen Slander(TM).

Look at these moments where Karen made clear that it's okay to show love:

Karen is a loving mother when it counts. She only isn't as involved because she hasn't been included (yet) into the gang dealing with the Upside Down.

Not to suggest that the Wheelers that don't say "I love you," but there are families that don't say it that ARE close, affectionate, loving. It's just known. Similarly, saying "I love you" isn't even an issue for other relationships in this show: not for Lumax and Jopper. That's because their actions show that they love each other. And that's how relationships really need to be evaluated.

So no, I don't think having a "loveless family" adequately explains Mike not being able to tell El "I love you" outside of when her life's at stake. If one does love someone, one WILL say it when that person is pleading for you to say it.

Which El asked Mike to, but he couldn't. And Steve asked Nancy to in s2, but she couldn't. And we know how that turned out.

It's not that Mike can't tell anyone he loves them. Mike has no problem showing love:

-teambyler

[lunabug2004]

Mike Wheeler Needs A Hug (and not one that he initiates)

I saw someone say that when people claim Mike doesn’t receive comfort it’s a complete lie because he hugs Karen and Hopper, and yes, to an extent this is true. He does receive (physical) comfort multiple times throughout the show. But the problem is that he receives it too late and he’s almost always the one who initiates it. Even with these two factors alone, we can still come to the conclusion, just like he probably has, that no one cares about his issues.

Karen only hugs him in seasons 1&3 because he came into the house upset and in obvious need of support, he was hurting so much that he let his usual walls fall down (at least partially, we don’t ever actually see him open up). Hopper only hugs him in s2 because he was literally bursting at the seams and in obvious need of support. Of course, this is also after Hopper yells at him for being completely reasonably upset.

He has to make his emotions very obvious before anyone will comfort him because no one pays enough attention to notice his silent suffering. Every time he’s received (physical) comfort he’s either asked for it by letting his walls down almost willingly (s1&3) or his walls unwillingly breaking down (s2).

This is why we say Mike has not really received comfort. Because he shouldn’t have to (essentially) ask for it, that makes it almost meaningless.

[jacksonseymour13]

Say it with me gang

Billy👏did👏nothing👏wrong!

[dutchs-toybox]

Are we just gonna leave out how she flirted with him while he was still underaged and in high school or?

[eightfifteen]

Okay but how many of you would realize your nerd children are traumatised by a Sci-Fi monster and under close supervision of the FBI?

[sagereidxx]

Mike's "Will Voice". - An Essay by me.

If you’re a byler you know about the “Will Voice '' . But if you somehow don’t or you’re new, the “Will Voice" is the voice that Mike uses when he is talking to Will and ONLY Will. Normally Mike is a little abrasive and defensive to most people when he is talking to them. But when talking to Will, his voice is soft and quiet, just above a whisper, gentle. 

Before we get into it, I think you should just know that the “Will voice” isn’t just something Byler’s made up! The directors tell Finn (the actor that plays Mike) to use a “special voice” when talking to Noah (The actor that plays Will) when filming.

DISCLAIMER - i actually didnt think this was going to be this long so sorry in advance but here are my thought i hope you enjoy! i love you!

“It was a seven, the Demogorgon. It got me.” - Season 1

One of the VERY FIRST SCENES in the show is Mike using his “Mike voice” Even if he really doesn't have to say anything at all. After Karen tells everybody to leave and all of the boys are hopping on their bikes to go home, Will is the only one left behind with Mike. Will admits to Mike that in the campaign they're playing, the Demogorgon got to him and killed him. 

Something about this scene is just so…. The look of understanding, the nod. Mike is just more gentle with will than anyone else. 

Right before this he was just arguing with Dustin about wether his sister is cool or not but with Will it’s different. 

Unfortunately, since Will really isn’t in the whole rest of the season, because yknow he’s in a whole other dimension there aren't a lot of other scenes where Mike is using his “Will voice” However, Mike was the person who wanted to find will the most behind maybe Joyce. Saying that he “was the only one who cared about Will”, so that is something. 

“Crazy together.” - Season 2 

In my opinion, season 2 is like beak soft byler. The first season 2 byler moment was..

The Arcade Scene

As soon as Mike snaps Will out of his trance, his vision, whatever you want to call it, he goes right back to Will's comforting voice and tries to make him feel better and distracts him with a game of dig dug. 

In the next episode, it's Halloween. And we ALL know what happened on Halloween night of 1987.

Will’s episode on halloween 

When Will has a bad vision, who is the first name he calls? Mike. Not Lucas, Not Dustin, not even Max. Mike. Not anyone else but Mike. And who was the first one to find Will and the first one to comfort him? Micheal Fucking Wheeler. And he was using the same soft voice he always does when talking to Will, barley over a whisper. Not to mention that Mike wouldn't let anyone touch Will but himself after Will snapped out of his episode. 

Talk in Mike’s Basement Scene

After Will had this awful episode, Mike takes Will and only Will back to his house. Will rambles and rants about how he feels stuck and Mike? He is attentive, sweet, listening, letting him get all of his words out. I’ve noticed with other people Mike can come off like he’s abrasive and harsh but with Will he is nothing close to that. 

This conversation also consists of Mike helping Will express his feeling by finishing his sentences for him when he just can’t get his words out. In the few times Mike does speak, he does not break out of the gentle voice and literally never breaks his gaze from Will, not once. 

EVEN WHEN MIKE TALKS ABOUT EL HE TALKS IN HIS WILL VOICE. AND THE ONLY REASON MIKE BROUGHT UP EL WAS FOR WILL’S BENEFIT. 

And then the most iconic Byler line in Stranger Things history, “If we’re both going crazy, we’ll go crazy together, right?” “Yeah, crazy together.” So gentle, so sweet, so wholesome.

The hallway scene 

Mike immediately notices something off with Will and has to make sure everything is okay. 

Side note: even when Will isn't with Mike and the party, Mike will literally do anything he can to help Will. That’s his only priority at the moment. 

Will’s bedroom scene

Even when Will is talking about “Him” Mike still reminds him that Will is a good person, calling him a “super spy”. Mike is doing absolutely anything he can to comfort Will and make him feel any better. (P.s. this moment is so wholesome I love it.)

And then the “yeah, yeah I really do” The PRIME example of “Will Voice”. The gentleness, the voice, the look, the nod, the reassurance, AND THEN THE REACH FOR THE HAND. 

Hospital Scene (Will wakes up)

Will wakes up and Mike is obviously right there (‘cause he slept in the chair next to the bed, WHICH IS LIKE MY FAVORITE BYLER MOMENT OF ALL TIME) and asks if Will is “hurting again”, Mike keeps his eyes steady on Will. His only focus is Will right now. He keeps his voice soft and he asks Will things to make sure he understands and that he is hearing what Will is going through right now. 

Mike recalling how they met 

Even though the poor boys voice is shaky because he is literally trying (and failing) to hold back tears, it’s still soft and reassuring. 

“It’s not my fault you don't like girls!” -Season 3 

The movie theater scene

This scene is one of my favs from Season 3. Mike is the first and only person to realize something is off with Will and say something to make sure he’s okay. The "you okay?” and “you sure?” are so gentle and soft. It reminds me a lot of someone jumping at a scary part in a movie and their partner wrapping their arm around them and asking if they’re okay. 

NOT TO MENTION THE NOT SO SUBTLE LIP GLANCES. 

(Also the little gay panic Will has after Mike ask if he’s okay and the blush on Mike’s cheeks before) 

The scene right before the fight scene

Mike immediately notices Will is upset after Mike makes his “joke” and he goes back to his voice that always gets Will and tries to convince him that they (him and Lucas) do really want to finish the campaign. 

The fight scene

Mike IMMEADLEY goes back to his will voice after he drops the bomb shell because he know he fucked up and he did it BIG TIME. The big difference between Mike’s “Will Voice” in Season 2 and Season 3 is that in Season 2 he was really using that voice with Will because he knew that it was comforting to him but now in season 3 he uses it because he knows Will will fall for it. 

(Also you know how Max says to El that Mike will come crawling back to El in no time? The only person he came crawling back to apologizing was Will.) 

“Get away from the door” Scene 

@myname1sca1 brought up a great point! The scene where Max is trying talk to Billy through the door, Will has a feeling that “He’s here” Mike stays turned and looking at Will says "get away from the door" it's in a gentle, quiet, soft voice and when Max doesn't listen, he turns away from Will and starts screaming at her do get away from the door again. He was only using that voice because he was looking at Will and dropped that voice as soon as he looked away. 

The “Not possible” Scene

Toward the end of season 3, Mike realizes that he was being (in his own words) an asshole the whole season and starts caring about Will again. And when Will comes out and puts his box of D&D on the donate box, the thing he has loved since forever, Mike makes sure that he knows he is giving it away. 

Will knows he’ll just use Mike’s when he visits and won’t join another party. That’s not possible.  

(Plus the look on Mikes face after Will says “not possible” is adorable.)

"I didn't say it." "You didn't have to." Season 4, Vol 1.

Will's bedrooms scene

OMFG THIS SCENE

Immediately Mike is relaxed. His voice low and calm and he's lighthearted. The "You didn't have to" AND THE SMILE. This is a COMPLETE contrast to has he is around El in this part of the season. When with her, he is all tense and feels like he can never say the right thing.

Also, the absolute adoration for Will in his voice. When he says "It's Hawkins, it's not the same without you."

You can also really tell that Mike is really confiding in Will and letting his guard down which he never really does with anyone. Including El. Especially with the whole line "I don't know what's going to happen next." And if you know Mike Wheeler he never tells ANYONE that he is wrong or that he doesn't know what's going on. So, the fact that he feels comfortable enough with Will is something.

"But you make her feel better for being different." Season 4, Vol 2

"We have to Kill him." "And we will." Scene

The MOMENT Mike finds out that Will can feel that 001 is there, he jumps back into being his reassuring, gentle self for Will. This scene reminds me a lot of the "Yeah, Yeah i really do" scene for season 2.

OMG WE ARE DONE, if you made it through all of that, I love you so much. If you want to see more things like this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know because i love writing essays about Byler analysis!

also let me know if there's anything I missed because if i miss enough things i will gather it and but it in an update!

RESOUCES

Stanger Things I The First 8 Minutes - Series Opener [HD] (Still Watching Netflix on YouTube)

Stranger Thing 02x02 - Mike and Will 'Crazy Together' Scene (Raghaua Daroui on Youtube)

Byler compilation (Season 2-3) (GoraculGerard on Youtube)

every byler scene 1080p I Stranger Things Season 4 Vol 1 (longbttms on Youtube)

byler 1080p scene pack I Stranger Things Vol 2 (longbttms on YouTube)

@myname1sca1 's post!

people who wanted to be tagged!

@lebylershipper

@ash-the-wise

@tender-emotional-music

@wallywise

@willbyerswatch

@hearteyes-wheeler

@paloma-ascends-into-hellfire

@hollarious2

[imatotallynormalteengirlok]

I've been seeing some things lately abt how people want Lonnie in s5 to show up and get his ass beat by hopper. While I'd like that if it did happen, I'd much prefer if Lonnie shows up in s5 to only give him like 1 scene, but have him interact with byler only. And ik ur probably like "uhhh not this bitch going on abt byler AGAIN" but hear me out...

Lonnie shows up for whatever reason, idc abt that. But he's looking for Joyce or jonathan or will idk and he's going anywhere he can think they might be, their old house (empty) and he remembers that they were close w the wheelers (I think that karen was particularly kind to Joyce after she and Lonnie split bc she herself is not in a happy marriage) so he goes there and only will and mike are there. Lonnie probably starts asking where Joyce is and will gets scared/defensive, and Lonnie starts hurling insults at him. I feel he's probably be homophobic and call him slurs like he did when Will was Little Bc lonnie called him slurs and called him gay bc he liked art and imagination games. What do u think he's gonna do when he sees him and Mike alone in a house, being close and comforting/working together. The homophobic alarm bells would be going CRAZY!! Mike goes to (verbally)defend Will, and Lonnie starts yelling at him too and goes to assault him. But then I want a parallel/similar scene to when Joyce screamed at Lonnie to leave, but from Will w a gun. Like I want will to SCREAM at Lonnie and Lonnie to be like "Oh u won't shoot me u pussy" and then will like shoots j above his head or something and starts yelling at him to leave or he'll shoot. And then yk Lonnie yells , Mike watches will w a mix of love and terror and then Lonnie leaves, will cries end scene.

I feel like will, who Lonnie always saw as weak and worthless finally standing up to him and being the one to frighten Lonnie is so much more powerful than hopper beating the shit out of him (though I'd enjoy that too)

[werepuppy-steve]

may fic rec

a monthly rec list to help me handle my tbr

<- april fic rec ❀ more fic recs ❀ my ao3

King and Prince - M, 19/?, WIP (ao3) @apomaro-mellow

tags: royalty au, demon king eddie, slow burn, kidnapping, enemies to friends to lovers

Eddie is in the middle of a feud with an opposing kingdom. Running out of options, he decides to kidnap their prince.

supportive uncle wayne - G, complete @steddieas-shegoes

tags: title says it all, post canon, good parent uncle wayne

Wayne first saw Steve Harrington when he was on a class field trip to the plant. He couldn’t have been older than 9. Eddie hadn’t come to live with him yet. He only saw him for a minute, but it only took a minute to see that the boy had dark circles under his eyes that rivaled his own.

Sharing Smokes Outside the Snow Ball - T, 1.5k, complete (ao3) @augustjustice

tags: future fic, post canon, single parent steve, single parent eddie (he's raising his cousin's kid), pre-slash

It's the Hawkins Middle School Snow Ball...of 1999. Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington have some catching up–and reminiscing–to do.

linguistic phenomenon - M, 2/2, complete (ao3) @dodger-chan & @sharpbutsoft

tags: hellfire, the linguistics of the word 'suck', talks of blowjobs

Like a good number of things, it was Wheeler’s fault. Under normal circumstances, Eddie would have no problem sitting back in his throne and staying above the fray while his little sheep had their silly arguments. Talking is a free action, etc. etc. And they’d wrapped for the night, were only delaying clean-up. But Wheeler, pressed by his friends to join in the defense of their favorite paladin, had gone with a very explicable but awkward choice of phrasing. “I mean, Steve doesn’t suck.” Eddie bit down on his tongue. He wasn’t going to say anything. He was not.

(asking to have) you on their skin - E, 2.6k, complete @starrystevie | rogersharringtons

tags: mutual masturbation, truth or dare, handjobs, dirty talk

"truth or dare?" steve's looking at eddie expectantly while he waits for his answer, his eyes wide and cheeks pushed up from the grin pulling at his lips. he's shirtless from past dares and eddie's trying hard to not look at the hair covering his chest, to not look at the way his scars have faded into a pretty dusty pink, to not look at the flexed muscles in his arm from where it's slung over the back of the couch and he's definitely not looking at the way the movement pulls his pec up. they aren't high enough for this, not drunk enough for it either, but he feels intoxicated. maybe that's just what being around steve harrington at 2am does to him. it makes him stupid. "...truth?" steve's grin grows wide enough to challenge even the cheshire cat and eddie knows that truth was the wrong choice. see? stupid.

Between The Lines - M, 2.4k, complete @hitlikehammers

tags: protective steve, misunderstandings, established relationship, shovel talk, good parent wayne

“We need to talk.” Wayne wonders if this is the tone of voice the kid uses to fight the monsters they don’t talk about. “Say again?” ——— Or: Eddie gets hurt, so Steve and Wayne participate in…something of a shovel talk.

the anatomy of a home run - E, 5.7k, complete @tboygareth | hxneyfarmer

tags: established relationship, baseball terminology, bottom eddie, top steve, virgin eddie, barebacking, creampie no condom nation

Eddie doesn't know shit about baseball. He does know a few good euphemisms.

Pool Day - T, 1.9k, complete (ao3) @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe

tags: post canon, pool party, pre-relationship

It’s a clear, warm, sunny day in the late summer of ‘86. The whole ‘other dimension survivors’ party is in attendance at Steve’s place for the day; Hop, Joyce, Karen, Claudia now, and even Wayne are staying inside in the A/C, the kids are in the pool, and all but the one of the ‘older kids’ are lounging around on the Harringtons’ sun chairs. Argyle in particular is soaking up the UV rays. Jon is burning to a crisp under his and Nancy’s umbrella. It’s Eddie, however, that’s been in the pool practically all morning, and is currently hyping himself up to do… something.. off Steve’s creaky, probably dry-rotted, diving board. He does look good up there; drenched head to toe with his hair pushed back from his face like that. If he wasn’t covered in pool water, Steve would want to lick him.

A Punch In The Dark - T, 10.3k, complete @roguenancy | tentones

tags: post-s4, pining, fall festivals, first kiss, accidental injury, scare actor eddie

Eddie smiles through the blood. Grinning like the cat that ate the canary and not the nerd that just got decked, he nods. Then he throws his head back and howls in laughter. It’s a harsh sound in the too-small hallway. It bounces off the walls, making Steve wince as something coils inside him. “Fuck, Harrington! I pegged you as a hitter, but I never imagined you’d be such a screamer.” Or: Eddie Munson gets a job working at a haunted maze during the fall festival, and over the course of a single night, Steve Harrington's life turns into a series of struggles.

Twenty-one - E, 7.2k, complete @itcanbepalped

tags: alpha eddie, omega steve, heat sex, first time, eddie's soft and a lil mean too, overstimulation

Eddie is twenty-one and he finally gets to rail Steve like he’s always wanted to.

don't you hear me howling, babe? - E, 4/5, WIP @occasionaloverboy

tags: post canon, grief/mourning, vamp eddie

In the fall of '91 Steve comes home - and the past finally catches up to him.

What Glows In The Dark - E, 5.5k, complete @beetlesandstarss

tags: modern au, roommates steddie, prank war

“Steven,” Eddie breathes venomously. He gestures to the condom-scattered floor. “Would you like to explain to me why I had a guy leave my room unfucked half an hour ago?” (The prank war had started innocently enough, but it quickly devolved into a game of cockblocking, which in Eddie's opinion, is The Worst Game Of All Time.)

Free-Use Health Care - E, 2/2, complete QueenOfSwords1312

tags: omegaverse, omega steve, alpha eddie, heat clinic, mutual pining, true mates

Heat and rut clinics have been in-operation in Indiana since the mid 1800’s, but the new one that opens up just outside of Hawkins in 1987 is the first one that’s strictly a heat clinic. It’s considerably progressive for its time, the first of its kind to cater entirely to unmated omegas who would prefer not to risk an accidental bonding at one of the regular clinics. Honestly, it sounds like a dream to an unmated omega like Steve. —— Or: Omega Steve uses an omega-forward health clinic to help with his heat and learns quite a bit about himself along the way.

When I open my eyes to the future I can hear you say my name - E, 5.1k, complete @sidekick-hero

tags: established realtionship, mirror sex, married steddie

"Beautiful," he whispers again, and Eddie grabs his hand and brings it to his lips, kissing every fingertip before taking two of his fingers in his mouth, sucking them gently while holding Steve's gaze. The light of the setting sun has almost disappeared, leaving a dim twilight that barely illuminates their bodies. Steve doesn't think he needs any light for this, he knows Eddie's body by heart, all his senses so attuned to him that the absence of one of them wouldn't make much of a difference. But then he happens to look past Eddie to the ceiling, and what he finds there makes his heart stutter in his chest. A full-length mirror adorns their ceiling, reflecting their image perfectly. He can't believe he hadn't seen it before, too caught up in his husband it seems. But now that he's seen it, he can't look away, can't stop drinking in the way they look in the faint light that still filters in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Or: Even after almost a decade together you can still discover new kinks.

safe under you - T, complete @hitlikehammers

tags: domestic fluff, sleepy steve, wedding vows

Steve purses his lips and tries—fails, but tries—to peek at the notebook on level with his temple. “What’s got you so invested, then?” he finally gives up trying to turn and read where Eddie’s hasn’t even bothered trying to hide, not least because there is nothing there, and just asks. And Eddie could dodge it. Steve would respect it if he did. But he…he doesn’t. Generally speaking he doesn’t hide anything from Steve. Big or small. Their life is a shared thing from top to bottom and Eddie loves that about them so fucking fierce, so. He just sighs and admit it. “My vows.”

Livin' in sin is the new thing - E, 2.1k, complete @hornedqueenofhell

tags: transmasc steve, cunnilingus, period sex, established steddie, kas as his own entity inside eddie's head, kas has a crush on steve

Kas purrs for him and leans into the touch as his tongue leaks drool all over the towel, Steve tugs him closer and spreads his legs wider. The purr shifts into a deeper growl as Kas’ tongue licks over him once, twice more, before delving between his folds.

Move fast, baby, don't be slow - E, 1.3k, complete @hornedqueenofhell

tags: established steddie+kas, threesome, switch eddie, dom steve, sub kas, spit kink, spit roasting

“He wanted you so bad princess, all growly and possessive over ‘our mate’. Thought I couldn’t see him fantasize about you fucking him.” Eddie purrs, watching Steve palm himself as he bites down on the spot between Kas’s shoulder and neck to leave a mark. “That what you want sweet pea? You wanna be a good boy for us?” Steve calls out teasingly, watching Eddie make out with his not twin was never a kink he expected to have but the sight was unparalleled.

deck of cards - E, series, complete @wynnyfryd

tags: robin+eddie meet cute, misunderstandings, fluff, robin has two hands let her have two platonic soulmates

“Ask me anything,” she says, bracing herself for a hard hitter. Eddie leans in, eyes too intense again as he holds her gaze. After a moment he says, “Be honest.” Robin gulps. “Promise.” “…Did you eat stale popcorn out of the popcorn machine in the lobby?” A horrible, startled snort-laugh explodes out of her so forcefully it kinda rattles her sinuses. “I meant you could ask a real question!” “Oh, that’s a very real question. I don’t think I can be friends with someone who’s too prideful to admit they scarfed down a handful of that buttery garbage when no one was looking.” “I totally did,” she admits on a laugh, and Eddie laughs, too. “I know, I saw you do it.” --- Steve, Robin, and Eddie kill time in a bar.

i could tell that you'd be on my mind tonight - T, 5.8k, complete @anniebibananie

tags: author eddie, writer steve, modern au

The room clapped, and Steve watched as a man stepped out from somewhere behind a nearby bookshelf to approach the microphone. Edward Munson. Steve wasn’t sure what he’d expected him to look like, probably some balding middle-aged man with a beer belly, but it was just… a dude. A guy, probably around his age, with dark hair pulled into a low bun, fingers stacked with rings, wearing a Metallica shirt with dark jeans and thick combat boots. He was, well, he was kinda hot honestly. Maybe Steve did understand why so many people were sitting in the crowd to get a glimpse of this dude. When Steve gets dragged along to an event for the author of the Vecna's Curse series by Nancy and Dustin, he isn't expecting anything to come from the night. He's definitely not expecting Eddie Munson.

Crave - M+E, series, WIP @eddies-artofsuffering

tags: modern au, coffee shop au, baker eddie, bookshop worker steve, flirting getting together, CWP (crack with plot)

At noon, as expected, the doorbell chimes. Eddie’s head snaps towards the entrance, mouth falling open as Hot Steve walks in. Eddie shoos his coworkers away with a frantic wave, straightens his name tag on his apron, and rests his chin on his palm and bends over a little, elbow on the counter. It’s go time. - Or: a stupid coffee shop AU in which Steve takes his break from his bookstore shift at noon to come to Café Byers every day, and Eddie loses his mind every time.

If It Has to Happen, Let It - T, 4.1k, complete (ao3) @steviewashere

tags: sickfic, hurt/comfort, emetophobia, migraines

"Worst of the worst, though, was the nausea. — He remembers the all consuming fear when his stomach would flip. When his mouth would begin to salivate and his throat would burn with the bile that came up through burps, and how his hands would shake. — Steve doesn’t do nausea. He doesn’t do throwing up. He doesn’t even do burps. That’s how afraid he is." OR Steve has a emetophobia and a bad migraine, Eddie helps him through the worst of it

because i care about you - G, complete @pearynice

tags: sickfic, established relationship, fluff

Steve is sick. Which might as well mean Eddie’s entire world is ending. 

[sadhours]

Wicked Sensation

part seven // billy hargrove x f!reader

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve | part thirteen | part fourteen | part fifteen | part sixteen | part seventeen

word count: 6.2k

warnings: 18+ minors dni, ABUSE, neil hargrove being the worst, angst, Karen Wheeler but it's brief, smut, p in v, brief mention of masturbation. i think that's it?

taglist!(thank you so much): @blue-eyed-lion @bbyhargrove @briefmongerfishzonk-blog @sweet-villain @actuallyspencerreid

Billy stared down at the slew of Polaroids of you on the beach, the red bikini adorned on your body leaving little to his imagine.

He’d been tasked with collecting the mail from your house while your family was on vacation, his dad thinking it was a perfect opportunity to show some responsibility. And to Billy’s luxury, it provided the convenience for you to send Billy the letter and photos.

He’d pleasured himself while looking at them the very night he’d received them. He kept the stack of mail on the counter of his kitchen but the envelope addressed to him with hearts and lipstick kisses littered on the envelope had a home in his nightstand with his girly magazines.

Billy bit his lip, holding the one you’d scribbled Let’s Get Physical on in messy handwriting. The poses weren’t nearly as suggestive as the ones in his magazines but his mind was able to make up for that, he’d seen you in such sensual and erotic forms that he didn’t need you spread out in photos. Besides, it was funner to remember actual experiences.

Neil doesn’t knock on the door before kicking the door open, causing Billy to quickly shuffle your photo under his pillows. He stands up expectantly, facing his father and pushing the lustful thoughts he was having to the back of his mind.

“Susan and I are going Christmas shopping. Don’t let Max out of your sight. There’s money for pizza on the counter,” Neil says but his eyes are trained where Billy had shoved the photos. He’d have to hide them better, knowing when Neil had a moment he’d be tearing through his room to find whatever it was.

“Okay,” Billy says, hands defensively slid into his back pockets.

Billy had asked for one thing for Christmas he was sure he wasn’t getting, a ticket to California. He’d requested to go for two weeks once summer started and he promised he’d be back to find a job before starting trade school. He missed the sun, he told his dad, wanted to surf. A part of him twinged in jealousy when you sent him the photos, seeing the ocean behind you. Billy figured he’d be lucky to get a couple pairs of socks, maybe a part to tune up his Camaro with.

“Bye!” Susan calls out when they leave, Billy and Max standing in the doorway.

Once they’re alone, Billy heads towards the fridge for a beer and Max asks if he misses you.

“Why the hell do you care?” he challenges but her question is answered when the phone in his room rings and he runs to answer it.

“Hello?” he answers eagerly, his shoulders falling when he hears the voice on the other end. “Oh, hi, Molly.”

He converses with her out of pure boredom for a while, fingers gripped around his favorite Polaroid the entire time. He glances at his alarm clock, telling her he’s gotta to call for the pizza now.

After ordering, his phone rings again and he’s sure it’s you.

“Hello?” he sounds hopeful and you grin, hearing the voice you missed so much on the other end.

“Expecting my call?” you tease.

“More like praying for it,” he exhales, eyes falling on your face in the photo.

“Aw, Billy, that’s so sweet,” you gush and he blushes, completely alone in his room but still embarrassed.

“Did you go to the beach today?” he changes the subject in an instant.

He did this every night, asking you to describe the ocean to him. He fantasized about moving back to California the day he turned 18, wanting more than nothing to get back on the waves.

“Yes,” you purr through the receiver, “It was pretty choppy today, I didn’t get in the water.”

Billy sighs, dropping the photograph and looking up at his ceiling, trying to recreate the feeling of being at home on a surf board in his head. He tries to hear the sounds of the waves crashing on the sand, the steady lull of it all. For a moment, he’s peaceful.

“God, I miss it,” he mumbles, eyes opening without realizing he’d even closed them.

“I know, babe. Soon enough you’ll be there again,” you comfort over the line, oblivious to the fact that when he imagined heading that way after graduation, you were always by his side. The possibility of you not wanting to deterred him from asking. Understandably, Billy didn’t too well with rejection. His self esteem kind of tacked on people wanting him around. He didn’t understand why his mom couldn’t take him with her, why she didn’t want him around but all these other people did. Sometimes it didn’t matter because he just wanted her, the other people in his life making him feel empty. His dad made sure he didn’t express such things from an early age, in fact the day his mom left his dad punished him for crying, telling Billy “Never cry over whores.” He didn’t think his mom was one but he had took it as all women and never let a relationship get to him emotionally. You were slowly breaking through that barrier, Billy hadn’t told a girl he loved her and actually meant it before. He’d said it in the past to appease girlfriends. But you were different, your arms were like the beach to him, a place he could let go of everything.

“Can you see the beach now? Like from your room?” he asks.

“No, it’s a couple blocks away,” you inform him and he heaves a disappointed sigh. “What did you do today?” you ask to distract him, you can tell he’s in his head and you don’t like when Billy’s sad.

He sits up and peers out his window when he sees headlight, worried Neil and Susan are back earlier than promised but he’s relieved when it’s the pizza guy.

“Not much, just some laundry. Listen, I’ve got to go, I ordered a pizza for Max and I and it’s here,” he says, standing up and opening his door.

“Oh, okay. Call me back?”

“‘Course,” Billy smiles.

“I love you,” you chide into the phone.

“I love you too,” he says before hanging the phone up, hearing the doorbell.

After he gets the pizza and tosses it on the table he calls out for Max but doesn’t get a response. He groans, heading down the hall and swinging her door open, “Can you not fucking hear me?”

But her rooms empty. Little shit, he thinks before slamming the door again. He storms to his room, sliding his boots on before grabbing his keys.

-

His first thought is the arcade, pulling into the parking lot and almost taking out a group of kids loitering too close to the street. They berate him as he steps out but he chooses to ignore it, a bigger battle at hand. He swings the door open and scans the room, not seeing red hair initially so he stalks through the columns until he makes it up to the counter, the employee distractedly munching down cheese puffs as he zones out, looking at nothing in particular.

“Have you seen a girl, red hair, skateboard, total bitch?” he asks, snapping his fingers in front of the guys face.

“Madmax…” the guy hums, chewing loudly.

“Where is she?”

The guy shrugs, “Hasn’t been in here tonight.”

Billy groans, grabbing the bag from the guys hands and dumping the snacks on the ground. “Thanks a lot, asshole,” he seethes before storming back outside.

He tries the houses of three friends but to no avail, every parent leading him to a different house.

“God damn it, Max!” he yells out once he’s back in his car, turning the key in the ignition.

The Camaro lurches down the street of the Wheelers, Mrs. Sinclair had written their address down on a napkin and Billy was hopeful, she’d said all the kids hung out there. He pulls up to the bright, big house and shakes his head. It made sense this is where Nancy came from. He hadn’t had any interaction with her really but he’d heard what a bitch she was. He thinks all rich girls are, so seeing the luxury she lives in compared to his humble home makes him chuckle.

Mrs. Wheeler answers the door, Billy has been looking around aimlessly since it took a good three minutes for someone to come out.

“Hi,” he grins, seeing in nothing but a robe and well, he’s only human. The charm kind of kicked on without him thinking, it was a bit of a coping mechanism.

“You must be here for Nancy,” she says and Billy laughs.

“Not at all,” he starts, “I’m actually looking for my sister, Maxine. I was told your place was the official hang out spot.”

Karen nods then, letting Billy inside and guiding him towards the kitchen. “All the kids are downstairs, I’ll go grab her…” and she’s down the hall before he can thank her. There’s a plate of cookies on the counter and Billy snags one, a pang of hunger rearing itself since he didn’t get to enjoy the pizza. Max and Karen wander into the kitchen and Billy gives his step sister a pointed look before his eyes glance back up at Nancy’s mom.

“You’re a life saver,” he purrs with a wink before ushering Max to his car.

Max curls into the door once they’re driving down the street, Billy speeding even faster than usual. She expects him to scream at her until his lungs give out so it’s shocking when he’s completely silent, eyes full of anger. She doesn’t know which is worse.

Billy’s stomach drops when he sees his dads car in the driveway. “Fuck,” he mutters, parking and sinking into the seat. He does not want to go inside. He knows what’s about to conspire and he wishes he could just keep driving, far away and never to be seen again.

“I’m sorry,” Max says, her voice a whisper, “It’s my fault, I’ll own up to it, Billy.”

“Stop, just stop,” he sighs, turning the car off and looking at her. He’d tried explaining that to Neil before, he knew it didn’t really matter. He looks back at the house, instructing Max, “Just go straight to your room. I’ll handle it, okay? Go into your room and put your headphones on.”

Max nods, reaching for Billy’s arm and giving it a squeeze as a thank you. He waits in his car for a bit, preparing for the war awaiting him inside. His footsteps are heavy up the walkway, he glanced towards your empty house for some semblance of comfort. It’s no use once he opens the front door, his father standing domineeringly in his path.

“Where were you?” he asks and Billy debates even answering, no answer would satisfy his dad. Billy thought his dad didn’t even really care, that he just wanted any excuse to get all his pent up anger out on Billy. Because that was the most frustrating part of this, he tried to be as perfect as he could be for his dad, he tried harder than he’s ever tried for anything. It was never good enough, Billy was never good enough.

“Max wanted to go to the arcade,” Billy fibs, lips tight while he looks at his dad. He’d surely earn a smack if he looked away. Billy used to fight back more but learned the hard way it was just easier to be passive.

“Then why the hell is there a whole pizza here?” Neil seethes, hand on the box before pushing it at Billy, slices falling to the floor and marinara sauce staining his white shirt. Billy keeps his face stoic, not daring to move a muscle. He can’t think of an excuse for that one but he doesn’t have to. “Did she sneak out again? Why aren’t you watching her? Susan and I ask for one god damn thing and you’re too fucking incompetent to do it!”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Billy atones, “It won’t happen again. I’ll do better.”

“Bullshit,” Neil sneers, “I’ve heard that for the last time.” He backhands Billy hard enough to thrust him into the counter. He’s thinking of how much he hates his father, how cowardly he is but his face is stalled.

“Clean this shit up, I don’t wanna see you for the rest of the week,” Neil spits, stalking off down the hall to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Billy sinks to the floor, tears welling up in his eyes as he brings his knees up to his chest, hugging his legs. He felt hopeless, even walking on eggshells and meticulously working to please his dad wouldn’t stop this. He hated crying over it, knew what Neil would do had he caught him crying, knew exactly what he’d say and Billy called himself those words in his head, pushing more tears out. After a beat, Billy calmly collects himself, cleaning up the pizza from the floor and disposing of the box before grabbing the mop. Once he’s sure the mess is cleaned to his dads liking, he locks himself in the bathroom and takes a steaming hot shower, the water burning his skin in a delightfully dulling way. He sits on the floor of the shower, remembering safer times.

Billy doesn’t call you back, retreating to his bed to stare at his ceiling until he’s comforted by the bliss that is his dreams.

-

Billy finds another envelope addressed to him in your mail, the day after Christmas and just one day before you come home. He masterfully conceals it in his jacket so Neil won’t see it. He tosses the rest of the mail on the pile accumulated on their counter, tailing back to his room and shoving the envelope in his nightstand, waiting for opportune moment to open it. He thinks about it endlessly throughout the day, eager to see what’s inside.

His Christmas wasn’t anything to write home about, he got socks and a couple of pairs of pants. Max got a brand new skateboard and he couldn’t help but feel jealous but she was just a kid and she deserved it. He didn’t want her to be treated how he was anyhow but he felt unappreciated, like he was just a live in babysitter for her. Neil and Susan didn’t get him and they didn’t care to.

During dinner that night, he can barely eat due to the anticipation of opening the letter from you figuring whatever was inside would make the holiday a special one. What Billy doesn’t expect is two round trip tickets to San Diego dated for late August with a letter from you.

Merry Christmas!! I figured August would give us time to save money for the trip. I love you so much.

Billy’s never smiled so big in his life, he couldn’t believe he would be back in California next year and with you by his side. He started planning, he’d have to get a job as soon as he graduated. You’d need a hotel and he’d have to rent a surfboard since Neil had made him sell his before the move.

He couldn’t wait to see you tomorrow to show you how appreciative of his gift he was. He sinks his hand under his bed and pulls out the bag he’d hidden, the present he’d gotten for you. It fell pretty short in comparison to your gift. He sighed, opening the bag and pulling out the jewelry box, flipping it open to look at the chain with a simple “B” charm. He’d struggled at what to get you but when he’d stumbled upon the necklace it made sense. A way to stake claim without it being too loud. But it sure as hell wasn’t tickets home. He falls back onto his mattress and sighs, trying to think of something he could tack on in less than 24 hours that would make his gift for you the exact thing you wanted.

-

Abruptly, Billy’s awoken by his alarm, the radio turning on and waking him with a Whitsnake song. He grumbles, opening one eye to look over at the time. 6:00 AM reads back to him. He loved Whitesnake but he thought maybe he ought to flip the switch back to the blaring alarm beeps instead of the radio, he was going to start associating some of his favorite songs with interrupting his dreams. Billy sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Neil wouldn’t let him sleep in even it was was winter break. And on cue, he hears his father knock on the door.

“I’m up!” he calls out, turning his alarm off.

He hears footsteps trailing away and heaves out a sigh. Neil said if he and Susan didn’t get a break from work then why should Billy? Some days, he would wait til they left and buried himself back under the sheets. Today, however, he was too excited to do that. You’re trip ended and you’d be home. He had an excuse to go over there, too. Grateful that he’d accepted the task of retrieving your family’s mail.

He’s so excited he actually makes breakfast for him and Max, unable to stop checking the time every few minutes.

“Just ‘cause you stare at the clock doesn’t mean it’ll move faster,” Max teases as she sits down for the pancakes. Billy doesn’t even let her get to him, sitting down himself to eat with an unchanging smile on his face. He just couldn’t wait to see you and thank you for the gift. While he’s eating, he decides he’s got the perfect idea to add to your gift. After he cleans up the mess, he spends about three hours creating the perfect mixtape for you. The arrangement of songs is perfect, but Billy knows the recording is shoddy, he cringes when he listens back to it and can hear himself mumbling to Max playing back on the recording. It’s quiet but he can still make out, “Little busy in here, Maxine!” He hopes you won’t notice, slipping the cassette in the bag and hiding it under his bed again.

It isn’t until after dinner that you guys get home and Neil tells him, “Give them a minute to settle in and then bring the mail to ‘em. I’m sick of looking at it,”.

“Yes, sir,” Billy nods, not looking up from the magazine he was thumbing through. He was just trying anything to pass the time.

Billy gives it thirty minutes before grabbing the stack of envelopes and jogging across the street, knocking on the door and stepping a foot back. He’s delighted when it’s you that answers the door, he wishes he could kiss you but he has a sneaking suspicion his dads watching. Though he notices, “You have no tan whatsoever.”

You shrug, taking the mail from his hand and you can see Neil standing in the window. “I just burn and peel. I used 100 spf.”

Billy laughs, but his shoulders tense, “I’ll see you soon. Gotta go.” He winks before turning around and heading back over to his house.

You close the door with your foot, flipping through the stack to make sure he actually got the gift you sent. When you don’t see anything addressed to him, you smile.

“Was that Billy?” your dad calls out, he’s loading the washer with dirty clothes.

“Yeah,” you set the mail on the table and walk to the fridge to grab yourself a beer.

“Did he get your gift?” your dads walking into the kitchen, following suit as he opens the fridge.

The grin on your face so big it might split it in half, “I think so.”

“Did he give you one?”

“I don’t know, his dad was watching so we couldn’t really talk,” you sigh, leaning against the counter. “Just about my nonexistent tan.”

“Your mom couldn’t tan either,” your dad points out with a smile.

-

You’re going through a magazine, listening to a cassette when you hear wrapping at your window. Finally, you think, uprooting yourself from the bed and unlatching the window, sliding it open to see the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen staring back at you. You hold his hand to pull him in, his lips crashing into yours before you even have time to close the blinds, you always do, just in case. He drops the gift bag he’s holding by your feet and grabs onto your ass, Billy lifts you up and your legs wrap around his waist. He shows his appreciation for the tickets with his touch, pulling you tight against him and kissing you so hard you think it’ll bruise. When you two reluctantly pull away you’re both panting heavily, looking into each others eyes.

“Thank you,” he blurts out, you haven’t seen him ever look so genuinely happy. It almost makes you cry. He squeezes you in his arms and buries his face in your neck, just holding you.

“You deserve it,” you assure him, fingers combing through the longer part of his mullet.

“I love you,” he mumbles against your throat, placing a gentle kiss afterwards.

“I love you too.”

He sets you back on the ground and picks up the gift bag, shyly handing it to you as he says, “It’s not even close to what you gave me but it’s something.”

“It came from you so it’s just as special,” you say as you sit back on the mattress and take out the paper he’d haphazardly shoved inside. You pick up the cassette first, his messy handwriting scribbled on the label: From Billy. “A mixtape,” you announce, your heart skipping a beat. It was the perfect gift because it took time to make, you could just picture him recording it while sitting on the floor of his bedroom. “Put it on,” you hand it over and Billy obliges.

Burnin’ for You by Blue Öyster Cult starts filling your room and you giggle, it was a beautifully cheesy song to start with. You dig in the bag and pull out the small, velvet box. No one had ever gifted you jewelry before you think as Billy sits next to you, eyes trained on your face as you open the box. Your face flushes a deep pink, seeing the simple, diamond studded B charm attached to a delicate chain. “Oh, Billy…” you feel tears well in your eyes as you pull out the necklace and he grabs it, motioning for you to turn around so he can put it on for you. His fingers grace against your neck after he clasps it closed. You turn to kiss him, grabbing his jacket and pulling him into it.

“God, I missed you,” you stammer against his lips and you can feel him smile.

He pushes you onto your back, looking down at you. “I missed you, too,” he says, his cheeks a little pink while he dances his fingers against the side of your thigh.

“I got you something else!” you exclaim, remembering the knickknack tucked away in your suitcase. You launch yourself up and topple over to the hot pink case you couldn’t bother to unpack yet. You unzip it, grabbing the paper bag neatly tucked into your slipper. You present it to Billy, smiling wide. He looks up at you, your teased hair wild from the necking you two had just done. He lifts an eyebrow, fingers gripping the bag and opening it up and looking down. He pinches the silver key ring and pulls it out. It’s a keychain, a bright red surfboard with sunglasses and a smile painted on it. He laughs, looking back up to you, “It’s rad.” His tone is teasing but you can tell he likes it. He retrieves his car keys from his jacket pocket and adds the keychain to them, tucking it back in.

Billy’s hands grab at your waist, “You’re so cute.”

You shrug, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“You ever try surfing?” he inquires, his eyes darting across your face.

“Never, I’ve always been too scared,” you admit and straddle his lap.

Billy circles your waist to stabilize you, “I’ll teach you in August.”

“I can’t wait,” you say, pushing him down and kissing him softly. It’s incredible to touch him again, to look at his face and into his amazing ocean blue eyes. You’d done a relatively good job at memorizing his face, picturing it whenever you closed your eyes but nothing could compare to the real thing in your grasp. Billy brought out so many emotions from you, carnal and loving. Zero to one hundred in an instant, it’d always been there. It began with his terrifying good looks but once you got to know the truly gentle soul beneath, you fell so hard you couldn’t get back up. You’d never be able to recover if he broke your heart. The scary thing was you knew just how capable he was of doing such a thing. Unintentionally he’d crack it in small ways, unaware of how deeply you’d felt it when he’d snap at you or flirt in class with some other woman. He had you ripped wide open, the walls couldn’t rebuild, not with him. You had no fucking clue you’d done the same to Billy.

“I wanna make you feel good,” he whispers, rolling his hips up to you.

“You do, baby,” you tell him, pressing hands against his chest.

He laughs softly, hands moving from your hips to the swell of your ass to grind you against him. “Let me show you how much I appreciate the present you got me,” he purrs.

You gasp, biting your lip and nodding at him. “Show me.”

His fingers curl around your neck and pull you into his lips. You already felt his appreciation but you’d never say no to his touch. You pull back and sink off the bed, eyes on his while you unzip his boots and tug them off, along with his socks. He grins, looking a bit drunk but you know it’s on you. You stand up figuring you might as well put a show on for him, hearing the next song on the cassette play. Missing You by John Waite which isn’t something you could even imagine him listening to but the intention of the song in the mixtape has you giddy. You lock your eyes and pull your top over your head slowly, thumbs hooking into the waistband of your leggings and you peel them down. You awkwardly kick them off and your face flushes, hearing him chuckle lightly.

“I’m being sexy,” you inform him.

“Oh, I’m aware,” he laughs again.

“So you can’t laugh!” you exclaim, smacking his knee.

“Sorry, sorry! Oh my god, you’re so sexy! Keep taking your clothes off, please,” he smirks, hands raised defensively.

You scowl at him but do what he says, unclasping your bra and tossing it at his face. He tries to catch it but misses, heaving another laugh. Your hands cup your breasts, feeling a little self conscious for some reason. He’s seen you naked more than a dozen times. In fact, this man had made you cry out his name while doing unspeakable things, there shouldn’t be any embarrassment but alas, there was.

Your thoughts disrupted by the cassette, hearing Billy’s voice mumble something on the recording, you look down at him with a lifted eyebrow.

“Max was bugging me. Can’t re-record,” he shrugs, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Shh, makes it more personal,” you comfort him, peeling your underwear off finally.

Billy grins, eyes falling down to the heat between your legs. He beckons you with his finger and you follow like you’re under a spell, toppling into his lap. His hands meet your breasts, thumb fanning over your perked nipples.

“Billy,” you gasp out, looking into his eyes while he looks up at you with his jaw dropping slightly.

“Love it when you say my name,” he pinches the nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

You love saying it but you don’t say anything, rocking your hips against him. He grits his teeth and you can feel his erection straining against his jeans. You want to tease him more, not ready to give into the pressure brewing in the pit of your stomach. You grip onto his leather jacket, peeling it off his shoulders and immediately ripping his t-shirt off, your hands pushing him down as you lick against his nipple. Billy makes a noise unfamiliar to the both of you, swatting you away. You give another broad stroke, seeing the discomfort on his face in spite of the smile.

“That tickles!” He almost shrieks, his body recoiling at the sensation.

“Hmm,” you purse your lips, “Do it to me, lemme see if it tickles.”

Billy takes the opportunity, brushing his tongue against your nipple in rapid strokes. You feel a ripple down to your core, stilling your body as your back almost arches involuntarily.

“No,” you gasp out, “doesn’t tickle.”

As you say it, he sucks your nipple in-between his lips. His palm flattening at the small of your back as he continues, pulling back briefly to look up at you, gauging your reaction. You feel rushed suddenly, the desperate desire to have his cock filling you suddenly present, forcing your hands to roughly unbutton his 501’s.

“I need you,” you rasp out, a way to tell him to help. He nods, pushing his jeans and briefs to his thighs, his hard member springing to action between you. The look of it something you’ll never get used to, impassioned and leaking slightly under your gaze. You line his tip up with entrance and he moans at wetness he feels dripping there, his eyes glued to yours.

“God… damn,” he cursed out, as you take an inch of him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

His reaction pushes you, lowering yourself on him abruptly so he bottoms out. He grits his teeth, trying miserably to stifle a moan. You smirk, proud of yourself while rolling your hips gently.

He scratches at your thighs when you still, begging you to move without saying so. The eye contact something that egged you on, seeing him fall apart beneath you was the sexiest thing you’d laid eyes on. He pushed you in unbelievably wicked ways, as if you existed purely to please the Adonis under you. You roll your hips in rhythm with the music he’d catered for this very moment. The mixtape having innocent intentions at the beginning but the longer he sat with it the more his thoughts turned sinful.

“Say my name,” he begs, grabbing your wrists as he does so.

You whine it out, “Billy,” bouncing on his cock.

“Again,” he purrs, locking his fingers with yours.

“Billy! Billy, Billy!” you chant out his name, squeezing his hand between yours while you ride him relentlessly.

“God, I wanna cum all over that pretty little face,” he muses, eyes glazed as they stare into yours.

“Want it,” you whisper, “Wanna feel it all over me.”

“Yeah?” He gasps, hands grabbing handfuls of your ass, pulling the cheeks apart before planting a venomous smack.

You grunt out from the assault, loving how he grabs and slaps at you how pleases.

“All yours,” you hum, rutting against him, the way the head of his cock hits your spot in the most wonderful way has you absolutely at his well. This man could do anything to you and you’d thank him. You’re so sick with lust, desire and complete devotion to him. It even hurts, pushing you to impress him in these trysts. You don’t want him to seek out anything else. Any sick fantasy in his head you would wholeheartedly fill. He’s too good for anyone in this world, you’d hold him in your grasp to show him he deserved every last bit of happiness left in the world. You cry out, tears collecting at your ducts before leaking out. He sees them, reaching up to wipe them his palm.

“Choke me,” you whisper and be obeys, hand curling around your neck and squeezing. He’s just as intoxicated with arousal as you are.

You whimper, the sensation of climax wavering over you. You wanna see it on his face first, always more concerned with his pleasure than yours. He deserved it more, you thought. Billy’s feat for pleasure, for happiness, was more at risk than yours was. The least you could was pull an earth shattering orgasm from him. He adored you beyond your comprehension, the way he looked at you only telling you a fraction of it. He never had the words for it, his dad teaching him too early on to not express it. He fucking loved you and he knew he couldn’t show you nearly as deeply as he felt it.

“Baby,” he gasps out, grabbing your jaw and holding it tight. The eye contact was the only way he could tell you, never daring the vulnerable words to leave his lips. But you felt it, deep in your core, just how much this man yearned for you. He said it without ever really saying it.

“I love you!” you pant out, leaking desire out from his movements inside you. Your body rips through the stages of orgasm, tears falling steadily as you thrash above the man made claim to.

He was everything to you, the only person you wanted around. The only person you trusted entirely as you fell apart with his touch.

Billy’s quick behind you, breath heavily reciting your name as he empties inside you. You admire the warmth of it, the way it made you feel whole for a moment. Billy was utterly everything you could dream of and you had him like putty in your hands and you still allowed him all the power.

“I love you,” you cry, collapsing into him. “I love you, I love you!”

“Hey…” he purrs, squeezing you tightly. “It’s okay. I love you too. I really fucking love you.”

“Billy,” you can’t help the blubber, collapsing on top of him, your hands squeezing whatever part of him you can get a hold of.

“Baby,” Billy smiles, gripping your wrists and holding them out, “Breathe, it’s okay. I’m right here.”

You can’t stop the tears, spilling out, looking into Billy’s eyes, feeling him soften inside of you. He pulls out but wraps his arms around your center, pulling you close and peppering kisses all over your face and neck. Your hands snake into his hair, whispering his name again. You’re unable to help yourself, having no control over your mouth. He wipes your tears away again, looking concerned.

“Hey… you okay? What’s up?” he asks, hand on your face.

“I don’t know,” you sigh, “I’ve never felt like this. It’s just… it’s so much.”

He nods, curling up into you and not asking any other questions, like he understands. He kisses your cheek, “It’s good… right?”

“It’s extremely good, Billy. They’re happy tears, I couldn’t stop them… everything just felt so good and so much,” you try to explain.

He chuckles, “I did that well, huh? Fucked the tears right out of ya.”

“Ugh, shut up,” you playfully push him away but it’s no use, he’s pinning you down and kissing all over your face.

“Billy!” you shrill, wiggling beneath him.

“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, pulling you close again. “You do something to me too, ya know? I…” he chuckles, like he can’t believe what he’s about to say, “I can go again.” It’s not what he was thinking but it’ll work. It’s the only way he knows how to say it.

“There’s gotta be a New Year’s party this weekend,” you change the subject, feeling like things were getting to heavy for him.

Billy’s hands soothe over your back, “Yeah, Tommy said something about a party. Ya wanna go?”

“With you?” you ask, eyes hopeful.

He sighs, “Of course I’ll drive but you know we can-“

“Would it be the end of the world if people saw us together?” you ask, knowing what he’ll say before he says it.

“Yeah, it would be,” he sits up, “I just don’t wanna risk it, if he knew it was you… I couldn’t be here right now..”

“Do you know for sure?” you peer up at him. “I mean, hell, when we go in August, you’ll have to tell him.”

“I can do that by then… I wanted to leave as soon as I turned eighteen but it’s too risky. Once I graduate, once I can leave then it doesn’t matter what I do.” he explains.

It’s no use to argue, it’s not truly your place even if him hiding you has taken a toll. “Okay… I, ya know.. I feel a little embarrassed, I’ve just never really cared before,” you start. “I mean I hadn’t really ever dated before so I guess I don’t even know what I’m looking for.”

Billy nods, fingertips grazing the curve of your breasts, “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s understandable you don’t want to hide. I bet it’s got to be so hard to not have your hands all over me.”

“You’re the worst,” you sigh, but you mean the opposite. He knows, so he pulls you to cuddle, kissing your neck and whispering sweet nothings until you’re both ready for round two.

[thaliagracesgf]

chapter one: the vanishing of will byers

a/n: the first chapter! I really got cooking on this one i was so so excited about it once i started writing! I hope it’s good, i have lots of ideas for the future and have started mapping out where this is going to go. i'm not sure what the overall title of this fic is going to be though... hope you enjoy, and let me know if you’d like to be added to a taglist for this story! reblog, comment, and interact if you enjoy it (or if you don’t)! I’d love to hear all your thoughts <3

wc: 3.9k

divider from @saradika-graphics, images from pinterest

general CWs, not necessarily all in this chapter: drinking, alcoholism, drug abuse, smoking, cancer, hopper being kind of a deadbeat, usual canon violence. not entirely proofread.

masterlist (incl. series)

The sprinklers are going as you turn the corner onto the Wheeler’s street. Your music is turned low, and the windows are rolled down, letting in the early November breeze. You see yellow lights from the basement windows as you pull into the driveway, and the shadows of four middle school boys jumping around. As you stop the car, you can hear complaining drift out through an open window. Mrs. Wheeler must have been telling them their time was up. 

You trip over a rock on your way to the front door, ringing the doorbell and brushing dirt off your hands. “Hi Mr. Wheeler,” you smile as he opens the door. 

“Oh, great another one,” he mutters. You’re pretty sure he thinks you can’t hear him. “Karen! There’s another child at our door.” He turns back to you, probably trying to figure out which one of his children you’re here for. You try not to be offended, as you’re sure you don’t look like a seventh grader, although you wouldn’t put it past Ted Wheeler to not know how old his son is. In his defense, though, you are here for the seventh graders. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Karen moves past her husband. “Thank you so much for picking them up, I don’t think I’d be able to get them out of that basement. I was down a second ago and three of them were crawling under the tables doing god knows what.”

“It’s no problem, Mrs. Wheeler. Do you mind if I…” You gesture vaguely towards the basement. 

“Please, be my guest.” 

“Or don’t,” her husband adds unhelpfully. You give him an awkward nod as you pass him by. 

“Guys!” You shout from the top few steps of Mike Wheeler’s basement. “Let’s go, I don’t have all day!” 

“What, like you have a date or something?” Mike rushes up past you. 

“Oh, go to hell,” you sneer. You love Mike, you really do. You’ve been babysitting his friends since you were thirteen, and you appreciate the level to which he can match your level of sarcasm and insult that would appear genuine to anyone in the audience. He’d never admit it, but you know he likes that you’re around, too. 

“Dustin! Lucas!” you shout again. “Hurry up!” 

They come bounding up the stairs, Dustin with a pizza box tucked under his arm. “I’m gonna see if Nancy wants a slice,” he says with his mouth full. He’s had a crush on her forever, at this point, and you would find it endearing if you didn’t have a World History quiz to study for that night. 

“Fine. Be fast,” you say, then following behind him. You watch the painful interaction before catching the door as she tries to shut it. 

“Hey, Nance.” 

“Oh, hey, one sec, Barb,” she says, putting the phone down.

“How’re you doing with that essay?” You have to rely on Nancy, because among the bizarre group of friends you’ve found yourself in, she’s the only other one that actually cares about her grades, other than Barb, but she doesn’t really show her face often. Or speak much, if she does. You know that your friends can be intimidating, but you don’t really know how to reach out. You don’t think you have anything in common. 

“Okay, I guess. I can’t figure out how to order all my arguments.” 

“Oh my god, yes, I am having the exact same problem! Study sesh tomorrow, figure it out?” 

She smiles. “Yeah, definitely. One?”

“Yeah, that works. And you can tell me everything you’re telling Barb right now about Steve.” She blushes, looking down at the sleeves of her sweater. 

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Hey, weren’t you just with him?” You were. You’d spent the day driving around with him, Tina, Tommy, and Carol. 

“Yeah,” you smile devilishly. “He wouldn’t stop talking about you.” You turn and head back down the stairs, where you can see the boys getting impatient. 

“Hey! You can’t just leave that there,” she calls after you, and you laugh. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow! One o’clock!”

“Y/N!”

“Bye!”

You rush down the stairs, past Ted Wheeler in his La-Z-Boy, who makes a point to sigh loudly at the noise. You see Will talking to Mike in the garage. He looks upset, but you figure it’s some Dungeons & Dragons thing you won’t understand. “You guys ready?” you ask Lucas and Dustin, and they nod. 

“We’ve been ready,” Lucas adds, impatiently. 

“Okay! Well, we’re going now. Get the bikes in the trunk.” They do as they’re told, however begrudgingly. “Will, you want a ride halfway? You can have shotgun if you want.”

“Yeah!” He smiles, whatever had been bothering him vanishing. “Can I put my bike in, too?” You smile and nod, although it hurts a little how much you see your shy, people-pleasing self in him—his friends wouldn’t have hesitated to toss theirs in, banging up your car, but Will asks, and then fits it gently in the trunk so as to not crash it into the rear of your already beat-up, dysfunctional car. You know it’s probably because the Byers’ don’t have money, either. 

“Yeah, just toss it in.” He wheels it over to his friends, as Mike watches from the garage door. You give him a wave goodnight, and he returns it, although his eyes are watching a rock he’s kicking around with his shoe. 

“Hey! Out!” You snap your fingers at Dustin as he tries to sit in the passenger seat. “Will.” 

Dustin groans, but there’s no point arguing. “This is bullshit,” he grumbles as he moves to the backseat, next to Lucas, who elbows him when he gets too close. 

“Language.” You reach for your CDs, passing them to Will. “Pick out whatever, dude.” And you back out of the Wheeler’s drive. 

You dropped Will off at the top of the hill, by Dustin’s house. He insisted he could make it the rest of the way, and seeing your unsure expression, he assured you that Jonathan was there waiting for him. 

“Alright, sure. Be safe!” You call as he rides away. 

Turning the car around in the Henderson’s driveway, you head back across town to the trailer park. You park your car, grabbing your bag from the back, and trudge up the three steps to your front door. To no one’s surprise, your dad is passed out on the couch, beer cans on the table and pill bottles knocked over. You roll your eyes, tossing the cans in the garbage and screwing the caps back on the bottles before putting him in his bathroom mirror. 

A few years ago, Hopper had gotten bored with the lack of activity in Hawkins, and you came home from school to a wall chopped down. You slept with a tarp covering it for a few weeks, until he had built an extra half of your trailer, making the whole structure look like an “L,” and giving you your own room and, after deliberation on water and electricity bills on his part, bathroom, presumably to stop you coming across the obscene amount of pills in his. Obviously, it did not have the desired effect. 

Unintentionally, you’ve fallen into responsibility for so many people in your life, whether you’re babysitting for Dustin and the Sinclairs, or your father. You think it’s why you’re still friends with the people you are. Tina’s been your best friend since kindergarten, since Sarah died and you moved to Indiana. The two of you plotted to end up friends with Steve and Tommy H, who seemed so cool on the basketball courts at recess. Tommy, and later Carol, were so sure of themselves, so confident in everything they did, and still are now, that though they can be assholes, and you know that they’re assholes, you can’t help but feel lighter around them—they’ve got each other in their perfect, asshole ways, to sort through all their shit, and they leave you out of it. Tina and Steve go along with it all too, sure, Steve especially, but you’re closer with both of them. You take care of each other the way friends are supposed to, none of this caretaker bullshit that you can’t help but take on more of with your family and your kids. Steve, and especially Tina, are there for you in a way your dad hasn’t been since you were little. 

This lack of responsibility, of course, is what leads you to head to your room after microwaving a bowl of pasta, and call Steve about the party he wants to throw at his place when his parents are out of town. 

“Hey,” he picks up. His voice is deep and a little groggy, like maybe he was just falling asleep.

“Sorry, sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nah, no, you’re good,” he says, sitting himself up. If it were Tommy or Carol, he’d tell them to fuck off and let him sleep. But he’s never able to put down the phone when you’re calling. He doesn’t really know why, he’s never wanted to. 

“Ok. Perfect. I was thinking for drinks we could send Carol in that old lady costume to Bunbury for beers?” Steve snorts on the other end of the line, and you know he’s laughing at the drinking problem he thinks you have. “Oh, shut up,” you scoff. If there’s one thing that you know the looks of, it’s a drinking problem, but Steve’s never been the most tactful. 

“I’d do it, but you know she hates doing it and she was totally pissing me off today,” you excuse yourself from the task, knowing that if you go, you’ll be buying the drinks. They all say they can pay for things for you—read, they all know you and your dad are broke, but they don’t exactly think twice when you end up buying for them, which happens more than you’d care to admit. And you hate to ask them to pay you back. Sophomore year goal: stop being a people pleaser and call out your rich-ass friends who insist on you joining their rich-ass activities. Although, you suppose, there are bigger problems in the world than having friends who are willing to pay to be sure you can do shit with them. The more you try to rationalize it in your head, the more you really start to really hate yourself, so you keep talking. 

“And you know she never listens to me, and then Tommy will be mad, so you’re gonna have to ask her. And probably Tommy, first, so he’ll agree for her, and—”

“You do realize you sound insane, right?” the phone crackles. You hold the phone away from your ear, taking a deep breath before you start snapping at him.

“I’m just trying to make sure we have drinks on Tuesday.” 

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” You are worried about it, and now a little irritated at him, but you let it go.

“Alright. Goodnight, then,” you say. “Wait! No. Wait. Nancy was talking to Barb about you on the phone.” This might violate some sort of girl code, but if that’s all you’re telling him, and he’s been one of your best friends since the first grade, you hope Nancy can forgive you. It’s irresistibly more fun to listen to Steve beg for more information, and make fun of him later with Tina—and maybe Nancy. 

“That’s all I can say. I’ll have to consult my higher-ups for more information.”

“Nancy Wheeler is your higher-ups, now?”

“Don’t be jealous, Harrington, it’s not my fault she’s cooler than you.” You can hear him roll his eyes over the phone. 

“Goodnight, Steve.” 

“'Night, Y/N.”

You put the phone down, and fall asleep to the frogs and crickets surrounding the trailer park, almost missing the methodic rotation of the Wheelers’ sprinklers. 

A few streets over, the Harringtons’ are going, and Steve Harrington is thinking about Nancy Wheeler, and trying to not think about the fact that you keep floating through his mind instead of her.

When you wake up, your dad is still passed out on the couch. Birds are still chirping outside, and you can hear yelling from the next nearest trailer. You force yourself out of bed, crossing the living room and nudging his shoulder until he wakes up with a start, and his arms reach around, knocking a book off the side table and narrowly missing the lamp. “In the bathroom,” you answer, before he can ask where his meds have gone.

“What time is it?” he mutters groggily. 

“Past eight. You’re going to be late again,” you say as you head to the kitchen. 

“Why aren’t you at school yet?” 

“I don’t have class first period today,” you say, a little frustrated that you have this conversation every Monday, but not letting it show. You pour coffee and butter toast for him before pouring yourself some cereal and slicing a banana. He grunts in response. 

“I have to go, though. So do you,” you drop his food and pill bottles on the coffee table in front of him. He murmurs a “thanks” before turning to the coffee like it’s God. 

“I’ll be home late tomorrow. Don’t wait up.” On the off chance that he’s not out cold by seven, you know he’d assume the worst. Not a kidnapping, or anything crazy. That shit doesn’t happen in Hawkins. But even though you’ve been cancer-free since ‘73, he’s always assuming you’ve spouted a new tumor and died on the side of the road, no matter how many times you, doctors, or the rest of the sane, normal world tells him otherwise. 

“Okay,” he grunts. “Be careful. Make smart choices,” he adds, as if you haven’t been practically raising yourself since you were old enough to cook and ride a bike to school. 

“Yeah, whatever.” You don’t mean to sound like an unbothered teenager, but it’s so difficult to make conversation with your father that you resort to being a shell of yourself until you make it to school and your friends. Hell, Erica Sinclair makes better conversation than Jim Hopper. 

You finish your cereal in silence, rinsing the bowl in the sink before grabbing your backpack. 

“Have a good day at work, Dad.” And you leave the house, letting the screen swing shut behind you, and leaving the front door open to hopefully air out a bit of the overwhelming cigarette smell that’s embedded permanently in all your furniture. Not that you don’t smoke, but never at home. Your Dad would flip his shit about cancer, as if there isn’t Agent Orange probably still running through your blood already. 

You drive to school with a Leonard Cohen C.D. going. There are a million things running through your mind, but none at all at the same time. The party. Your Dad. Sarah, weirdly enough. You don’t think about her a whole lot, but of course she comes up when you have a million other things going on. World History test. Mrs. Click. The Byzantine Empire. Your dad. Drinking. Tina’s Halloween party, which was a week ago, where you had the time of your life dancing with your best friend after begging your father for weeks to ignore it on patrol. Nancy Wheeler. Shit, that study date. You’d almost forgotten. And— fuck, of course you’d forgotten to bring your lunch. You check your watch—you think you have enough time to grab something from the store on the way. 

You speed into the parking lot, going a million miles per hour, but hey, if there’s one thing you’ve got going for you in this town, it’s that no one who works for your dad is going to arrest or ticket you after he cut his own salary to make up for theirs. 

You fly through the store, grabbing an apple, a bag of lettuce and some shit for a basic salad you’ll shake up at lunch. It’s not much, but the deli isn’t open yet, and you aren’t going to buy an entire loaf of bread for one PB&J. As you’re checking out, don’t notice Jonathan Byers until his total comes up short. 

“Oh, here,” you say without thinking, giving him the last dollar he needs. “You also have a late start this morning?”

“Thanks. Uh…” he hesitates. He’s not used to you speaking to him unless the boys are involved, although you would consider the two of you to be friends. “No, um…” 

You don’t really take note of his pause, tossing your lettuce on the conveyor belt. 

“You didn’t see Will last night, did you?” You freeze, fear shooting through your body. 

“Um, yeah, I drove him to Mirkwood. He didn’t make it home? He told me you were waiting for him.” You look over at Jonathan, but avoid his eyes. What if something terrible has happened to Will, and it’s because you let him bike home alone?

“I had a last minute shift,” he mumbles. “Did you… did you see him go home?” 

“Yeah, he took off in the right direction. Jonathan, what happened? Is he missing?”

“Um… we don’t know yet. I— forget I said anything, sorry,” he starts trudging away. 

“Wait, Jonathan, is he okay?” you call after him, panicked. “Byers!” But he’s gone, out the door. And, you realize too late, you’re a dollar short for your fucking lunch. 

You’ve haven’t been thinking straight since you ran into Jonathan, and you’re pretty sure you failed the Byzantine test, although Nancy is trying to convince you otherwise as you sit in your corner of the library, sharing the measly salad you’ve scraped together and the ten-bajillion course meal that Karen packed her. On a normal day, you’d have time to think about how jealous that makes you, but your mind hasn’t left the frenzied state it was in even before learning that Will might be missing. 

“Your essay looks great, Y/N. I checked it for grammar and spelling, so you’re all good there. I think you just need to work on a thesis that makes a little more sense, and then you’re done.” You groan. You love Nancy and her feedback, but you had really been hoping she would say “Perfect!” or “No notes!” or “Great job, Y/N, you can go take a ten year nap, now!”

“Okay,” you pull the paper back across the table. “Yours is great, too, just switch those two paragraphs and then edit them to make them flow, if that makes sense,” you brush bread crumbs off her essay and slide it over to her.

She nods. “That’s perfect, that’s exactly what I was thinking.” A peaceful silence falls upon the pair of you as you eat your lunch, and for a second you feel the November sun filtering through the windows of the Hawkins High Library, and ignore your creeping anxiety that something is very, very, wrong.

“So. How are things?” you ask, smiling behind your hand at Nancy. 

She feigns innocence. “Hm? I don’t know what you mean.” She closes her mouth around her sandwich. 

“Ugh. Fine. We… made out this morning. He left a note in my locker.”

“Classic.”

“I don’t know… he’s really sweet, and, you know, he’s fun— funny. And fun.”

“All true.” 

“I guess I’m a little worried… I mean, he kind of has a reputation. I don’t want to end up, like, totally humiliated.”

“I don’t think he’ll do that, Nance. Honestly. I think he doesn’t realize he’s doing anything half the time—he’s not that… aware… of other people. But he seems like he really likes you, and wants to get to know you.”

She smiles, looking down at her food. “Yeah, yeah he does.” 

Suddenly there’s a commotion at the doors. A loud “shush” comes from the circulation desk. 

“I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am—” Your head flies around. You know that voice. “I was told that Ms. Hopper might be in here? I just need to speak with her for a few minutes.” 

“She usually sits over there,” the librarian gestures to where you’re already standing, deciding whether to collect your stuff. Nancy’s stood beside you, biting her lip. 

”Callahan?” you pester as you follow him through the hallway. “What’s going on, is everything okay? Is my Dad okay?”

“Yeah, you’re Dad’s fine. He’s right in there.” 

What the hell is going on? You push the glass door to the office open, slinging your bag off your shoulder and on to the ground as you give your father a confused look. One that turns to concern when you finally put two and two together. 

“Will.” Your dad sees your expression. He knows how much you care about these kids, and he’s quick to try to reassure you.

“Just… just take a seat, okay? I just have a couple questions about the last time you saw him, I didn’t want to wait until tonight—”

“I drove him almost the whole way to his house last night.” You interrupt. “I dropped him off just past the Hendersons’ house, he told me Jonathan would be there,” your voice speeds up, evident anxiety growing, “but I guess he picked up an extra shift, and—” he cuts you off. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” He pulls you into a hug, and you do start crying then. This is too much, this is your fucking fault, and if Will’s found dead in a ditch it’s going to be all your fault. “He’s going to be okay, okay? I already told Joyce, 99 out of a hundred times, a kid goes missing, kid is with a parent or relative. Lonnie probably—” 

“His father’s psychotic!” You push yourself free from his hold on you “I saw him make them cry like a thousand times, Dad!  I wouldn’t be surprised if he fucking hit them! If Will’s with him, he’s not safe!” Your voice is catching in your throat. 

“And we’re going to go find him, okay? He’ll be okay, I just need— I just need you to stay calm, go home, and just— just stay there.” 

“I can help look for him, I can—” 

“Y/N. Go. Home.” He gives you a pointed stare, and you feel so small standing next to him, even though you got a bit of his height. “Look, we’re sending out search parties. We have people going to Lonnie. He’s going to be okay.” When you don’t respond, he repeats himself firmly. “He’s going to be okay.” 

You take a deep breath and nod. “I’ll see you at home, kid.” 

You push past Officer Callahan, who totally just watched your embarrassing breakdown, and back into the hallway. You assume your father meant for you to go home after your classes, but even if he didn’t, you aren’t skipping chem. There’s another fucking test tommorow, and you’re not missing this free study session. 

Nancy takes note of your distraught look as you enter the classroom and sit down on the stool by hers, even though you had tried to rinse your eyes with cold water on the way over. 

“What was that all about?” She asks. 

“Nothing,” you make something up. “My dad realized I forgot my lunch at home, but it was a little late…” 

“And he sent an armed guard to escort you to pick it up?” She laughs. For a second, you think she’s onto you, but you realize she’s joking as she turns away to focus on the board, where your teacher is balancing an equation. You fucking hate chemistry.

AHHHHHHHHHHH thank you for reading all this!!!! this is insane!!! i love her so much! writing this slow burn is going to KILL MEEE. pls like, reblog, interact to encourage more of my writing and let me know what you think!

xoxo, thaliagracesgf (real)

i'm tagging people who interacted with my idea post and who i thought might like to see this fic, but please please let me know if you'd like to be removed from this list, or if you'd like to be added!

taglist: @thisisourlovestory @ladygrey03

[starshideurfics]

I got more brainworms because of @fayefayefaye90 about massive cock alpha Nancy.

Karen’s an alpha with a big dick, she ends up casually dating career omega Ted who has family money and a decent job, but he had to change his plans after Karen knocks him up and they agree to get married.

They have Nancy, and then Mike to meet Ted’s parent’s expectations. Holly is the miracle baby they weren’t expecting, at first thinking she was the start of Ted’s menopause.

So Nancy presenting as an alpha isn’t unexpected.

Her dating school slut Steve Harrington is, though.

When Nancy admits she and Steve had sex, the first words out of Karen’s mouth are, “Don’t go getting that boy pregnant, Nancy.”

Nancy hisses back, “I’m not trying to! We use protection.”

“Good, because Steve isn’t the kind of omega an alpha like you marries.”

Nancy gets defensive, yells that Karen doesn’t understand, and runs up to her room.

But the thought is buried in her head, and no matter how sweet or attentive Steve is, no matter how good his pussy feels around her dick, she doesn’t love him.

She likes Steve.

She doesn’t love Steve.

He wants a house full of pups in the suburbs.

She wants a studio apartment to herself in Chicago or New York or Boston.

Nancy wants to get out and see the world and do big things.

Steve just wants to be loved.

Nancy doesn’t love Steve.

Just like Karen doesn’t love Ted.

Wheeler alphas are a lot alike.

[strange-anni]

Mike, Henry, Will and how it fits together

This is an answer to question I received from @greenfiend as to why I think Mike Wheeler and Vecna/ Henry Creel may be comparable to each other.

It's in regards to this post.

Can we assume that Will Byers is a good observer?

BC I think that may very well may be the case. I've been rewatching the scene where Henry tells Nancy and Eleven his backstory and while I do think some of it relates to Will (fresh start in Hawkins ↔ fresh start in Lenora), other parts relate way better to Mike. Like the whole situation Henry's describing about normalcy and how he doesn't fit in describes Mike just as well if not better than Will.

Like these words from Henry:

Not a single person in the entire show embodies Henrys words here better than Ted Wheeler does. In S1 when Will is missing Ted is assuring Mike that they do care while actually doing nothing and eating his chicken. That's when Mike explodes and leaves the table. Ted's response to everything is passiveness and inaction and Mike can't stand it. He's not like that and doesn't want to be like that. He's different too.

Which brings me to the fact that Henry also says time and time again that he's different. He is different from his family and I also think he sees himself as different from Dr. Brenner and what he stands for. They are both part of the DID system but their approaches to protect it are not the same.

For the Creels it all started when dead animals were found around the house and when Henry found out about their secrets. This is bad bc now he knows and what were they to do if he tells someone? I don't think it really matters in this case what their secrets actually were. What mattered was that Henry knew them and while Victor didn't pick up on it (Teds passiveness) Virgina actually did (Karen does try to reach out to her kids and sometimes senses something is up like the fact that Mike may be queer; Ted actually also knows but he treats it like he treats everything else. Not really worth doing anything about other than making small snide remarks. Him caring and not caring is basically the same thing)

So Henry knows secrets he isn't supposed to know (much like irl Mike knows secrets he isn't supposed to know either "It's a seven") which is dangerous as it can cause damage to the entire system. It's important to keep the secret be otherwise bad things can happen. So Virgina calls Dr. Brenner for help. How does she know Dr. Brenner? That doesn't really matter either I think. What's important is the role he has in making sure secrets stay hidden.

So Henry kills his whole family (or does he?), falls unconscious and later wakes up in Brenners lab where he is kept under control. Wouldn't it be so good if they could enlist him to help keep the secrets hidden? He's got so much special power after all. But that doesn't work bc Henry is not to be controlled, so Brenner decides to "clone" Henry instead. He creates all these children in order protect the system either through keeping the secret (of the a*use) hidden or by building a defense force against the lion. (the backstories of these kids don't really matter either)

Henry however notices Eleven among all the others, partly because she is special as well. She's the weakest and this may or may not be a subconscious desire for Will to get noticed. Either way, he singles her out and tries to encourage her while at the same time he is abused by Brenner himself. Henry's also telling El about the master of them all, the who controls the chessboard (Will; although El thinks it's Brenner) and how the other children want to murder El and she is willing to believe him. They plan to escape and everything is fine and dandy until Henry tricks El to remove the Soteria.

That's when he makes a fatal mistake. He kills all the other children in the lab, therefore loosing Els's trust and getting send into the UD by El. Literally the place where all the a*use is held. A place he cannot escape and place that transforms him until much later. (Like why? Literally why? Why are they all such idiots? Henry was so effing close and then he has to go and eff everything up by using violence again. That is not and will never be the solution here. You cannot kill the alters, you can only absorb them and even then it's not guaranteed that they won't show up again. Arrrgh why are you so stupid Henry?)

Why do i believe that Henry will spill the secret of Lonnies a*use? Because that's basically all he ever does. He opens his mouth and a secret spills out. Like he's hiding his desire in plain sight. He tells El, he tells Nancy and it's almost like he's crying for help because that's exactly what he's doing. I think he also represents Wills subconscious desire to open up. It's why the wound spreads and cannot be contained any longer. A band aid is no longer enough. Will wants to open up and the key to that is Mike bc Mike is kinda Schrödingers Mike: He both knows and doesn't know at the same time.

That is basically what I believe right now and theoretically I could even add a part 2 to all of this as I don't think that's all that happened either but that'll be even weirder and I'm even less sure of it so I'll leave it to another day.

A few things though.

I do believe the Creels work as a negative (as in photography) to the actual Wheelers. Like they are the Wheelers but Upside Down. The corrupted version of them. Therefore the corrupted version of Mike is Henry and the corrupted version of Karen is Virgina (at least in this case). And the Upside Down version of an uncaring Ted? An actual caring Victor.

I also do not think Will holds any grudge at all to the actual Wheelers. In fact I think he actually likes them a lot. Mike of cause first and foremost but I also think he's fond of Karen as well. He likes staying at the Wheelers and being in Mikes basement. It's a safe space for him in a way his own house never was (Lonnie) and maybe the fact that this backstory showed up at this time also means that Will is now slowly realizing that his believed truth about the Wheeler household is not shared by Mike in the same way. (Them being a perfect happy family)

On the topic of the Black Widow spiders I think it's noticeable how Henry not only says he's fond of them but calls them the actual true predators. It's very well known fact that Black Widow females tend to eat their male partners after mating but probably not so well known is the fact that this helps their offspring to survive. (Rings a bell, doesn't it?)

However this behavior was also mostly observed in lab environments where the male spider had nowhere else to run and is less often observed in the wild. In fact male Black widow spiders can sense through the females web if she has already eaten and is therefore safe to mate with. If she's not hungry, she will not eat him. (according to the wiki page)

[walmarttrashbag]

Hurt - Mike Wheeler Pt.2 TW: bitchy, annoyed Mike. hurt-part-one Suggested by: Https-Lola It was finally over! You finally had gotten over the stupid fucking dumbass Mike Wheeler crush of a lifetime, and you have never felt any better! You've turned your life around for the better. You feel so much healthier and happier after the loss of feelings for Mike. Mike, however, couldn't help but stare from afar with a frown. Why did you become so beautiful? Why was your smile so sparkling and outrageously perfect? Who let you go outside and look like a miracle from beyond the stars? Mike had a little over too many questions just about your pretty face. That night while the party was playing DnD, Mike just couldn't shake the thought of you out of his head, and it was like a bad song.

"Mike, are you okay? You're not raging at the fire-breathing dragon coming your way," Dustin pointed out, but Mike was still in a trance. Lucas rolled his eyes and walked over, giving Mike a forceful shake, "Wake up, Lover boy, the dragon awaits!" Lucas said in a jokingly wizard-like voice. Mike flinched, "Lucas, don't do that!" He said, getting defensive over nothing.

Lucas scoffed, "Sorry, sleeping beauty, I didn't know you were dreaming of your princess charming. Just get over Y/n already, I heard she was dating someone anyway!" Lucas said, not realizing all hell broke loose for Mike.

"SHE WHAT?!" Mike screamed out, standing up as he banged his fists on the table, making the characters and dice jump slightly.

"Michael!" Karen yelled from upstairs, "Quiet down!"

But this was no time for being quiet, and Mike quickly jumped to questions, "Who is he? What does he do to her? Why is he with her? What did he do to earn her?! TELL ME!" Mike yelled at his friends. Will spoke out, "I don't know much about him but I heard he's from Maine or Maryland or Missouri or one of the M states," He shrugged. "Yeah, and someone told me he's got a thing for Hawaiian shirts, and being the class clown," Dustin continued from Will's statement, "He honestly sounds really cool," Mike scoffed, "Yeah, who's this bozo's name anyways?" Mike asked, looking at the 3 expectantly for a clear answer. "It was like Rory Turner or something," Will replied. "No, it was something like Remi Taylor," Dustin told Will. Lucas rolled his eyes, "No, dumbasses! It was Richie Tozier! His name is Richie! And Mike, he looks exactly like you!" Lucas pointed the finger at Mike. Mike gasped, "Me? So you're saying I still had a shot with Y/n if she's bagging this Richie guy?!" "Guess so," Will replied, making Mike's blood boil. "That's it. Tomorrow I'm gonna find Richie and give him a piece of my mind," Mike promised himself. "Great, now can we please get back to defeating the dragon?" Dustin asked the party since so much time had been wasted on this dumb conversation.

The next day, Mike got up to school and saw a new bike on the racks. Mike had heard that Richie always biked to school as well. It was like Richie was a big stupid copycat! Mike had a note of description. Hawaiian shirt, shorts, converse, and giant stupid thick-framed glasses.

Mike skittered through the hallway like a cockroach and found a guy who matched the description perfectly, just without a Hawaiian shirt. Mike tapped the guys shoulder, "Hey, are you Richie?" Mike asked the guy.

The kid turned over and it was scary how much he looked like Mike, "Yeah, why?" Richie asked Mike, nudging up his glasses. Mike now knew this was the guy he should be shitting on. "Just know, your girlfriend, Y/n, liked me way before you did. You're just my rehash. The only reason why she's with you is because you're just me in a reskin," Mike told Richie, spitting out venom at the guy.

Richie's face scrunched up before he made a big obnoxious laugh in Mike's face, "Oh that's rich! That's really rich! I know who you are, Mike! And Y/n has told me all the things she's done to try to get you to like her back, and from what I've heard, you're a selfish prick who didn't take the chance when you got it! I've got the prettiest girl on earth, and you're kicking rocks! Go blow your dad before you spit out shit that's not real," Richie gave a condescending smirk to Mike, whose face went beat red in not only embarrassment but anger too.

Mike threw the first punch, and the hallway went from school to hell. Michael Wheeler and Richard Tozier fought things out. Some people get on Mike, and others get on Richie making the school out to 50/50, but before things could be settled out for the last time, you ran to the both of them. "Stop it! Stop fighting! Mike what the hell is wrong with you!" You lashed out at Mike, making him shocked. "Y/n! Come on you still have the chance for me! Why not ride the Wheeler train?" Mike said heartbreakingly as held his left eye.

You were grossed out by Mike as you helped Richie up, "Oh, Richie... Your nose..." You said, wiping the blood from under Richie's nose, before turning to Mike, "Mike, you're just a prick! You avoided me like the plague and you beat up my boyfriend because you're a petty jerk!" You went off at Mike, making his heart hurt on the inside. You walked Richie to the nurse's office, and Richie looked back at Mike, giving him an evil smile signaling that he had won your side once again, which was deserved.

Mike slowly but surely got up, "I'll win her back one day, you're stupid rehash!" Mike yelled out to Richie as the hallway crowd fanned out with no conclusion to the win. Mike was determined to get you back, one way or another, no matter what. He was gonna see Richie fail, and he was gonna King up to the Jester of all jokes.

[jacksonseymour13]

Captains of the "Protect Billy at all cost" Gang. Are you a member?

[monstrous-femme]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

From newest to oldest, and unfortunately leaving out many stories I adore but that aren't as sophisticated writing-wise because I've grown as a writer since then.

like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird Stranger Things | Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham/Nancy Wheeler | 87k

In 1993, Nancy falls asleep on Barb's grave and wakes up in 1985. From there, she finds herself completely unstuck in time. It's also a love story.

Novel-length time travel fic about grief, recursive, Sisyphean vibes, also I think the longest fic I've written in any fandom.

In Her Hips, There's Revolution Stranger Things | Eddie Munson & Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler | 70.5K

Finally, she's able to get the number in right. The ring is sharp against her ear. Pick the fuck up, she thinks, and someone must be listening, because the ringing stops "All right, Harrington, what's on this week's nightmare menu? And don't tell me the one about drowning in your pool again, man, we all know that's rich kid--" "It's Nancy." A long pause, then a laugh. "Wheeler? To what do I owe this late-night honor?" "I, um." Nancy's tongue feels stuck to the roof of her mouth, like bare skin on upholstery. "I was wondering if you've got a couch I can crash on?"

This fic exists because I read a punk!Steve fic and in it Nancy was not into the punk scene and I was like. But what if she was, though. Riot grrl Nancy? Riot grrl Nancy. Complete with Ronance and Nancy and Eddie as best friends. Described by readers as "Jane Austen with more alleyway head." One of my only fics to get an & pairing and not just a / pairing, because the friendship really is that central.

objects in the mirror (are closer than they appear) Stranger Things | Joyce Byers/Karen Wheeler | 5.3K

"Which do you think you're having?" she asks, pushing herself back to the land of the ordinary. "Lonnie wants a boy," Joyce says. "Your husband?" Joyce snorts. "If you can call him that." There's something nice about how that sounds, like the idea that just because you said your vows in front of God and your whole family doesn't mean you have to call the man your husband. Karen smiles. "You know what?" she says. "Give me a cigarette after all." The smile Joyce gives her back is like a secret between friends. "My kind of girl," she says, fishing into her purse, and when Karen takes the cigarette between her lips, Joyce lights it for her.

This fic was for Women's Wrongs day of Stranger Things Femslash week, and I was so proud of the strange fucked-up short story vibes I managed to get here. Joyce and Karen spousal murder 5ever.

pretty girls with bloodstained teeth The Magicians | Margo Hanson/Alice Quinn | 4k

“You’re angry,” Alice says. Margo opens her eye to see that the smile on Alice’s face matches the one in her voice. “And you’re right to be.” “If I’m angry, it’s because there’s a monster who seems to show up everywhere I go.” Alice lifts a finger and runs it along Margo’s cheek, leaving a trail of ice crystals down its path. “Oh, Margo,” she says, sugar in her voice. “You’ve never been as good a liar as you think you are.”

This was my OG monster!girls story, based on the idea that Alice stays a niffin and seduces Margo to the dark side. It was so fun to write that it actual inspired the original novel I wrote and currently have on submission.

Chimera The Magicians | Alice Quinn Character Study | 1k

She is part girl, part monster, and moving forward is a statistical improbability.

In defense of one of my favorite unlikeable female characters.

[laurasinele]

Fictober24

Prompts 20, 23 & 27:

"I saw your eyes light up"

"We can fix this, I know we can"

"Let me remind you"

Fandom: Stranger Things (S01 & 02)

Relationships: Harringrove | Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington

Rating: Teen, alcohol and swearing

Special warnings: Steve and Billy are underage and drink alcohol; Billy and Karen Wheeler flirt.

Summary:

Billy's going to aparty tonight. Steve isn't. He's babysitting the nerds on game night at the Wheelers because nobody else is at home.

Excerpt:

He stepped in without waiting for Mrs Wheeler to step aside. He smiled charmingly and she slapped his chest playfully but quickly sobered up and cleared her throat:

“Ted, we need to go now!” she said as she picked their coats off the rack. 

Mr Wheeler, dressed up and almost asleep in front of the TV, got up from his recliner groaning loudly, and mumbled some standard warnings about sleepovers on his way out. Once he and Mrs Wheeler were out the door, Billy could appreciate his audience: from the TV room door Maxine and Harrington were staring down at him with their arms crossed like a couple of little creepy twin sisters. Maxine made a puking gesture. Harrington said: 

“That was disgusting, man.”

Before Billy could tell them to fuck off, two of the nerds, Wheeler and Henderson, came up from the basement running, calling Max and yelling all sorts of nonsense. They stopped in their tracks when they saw Billy.

“What are you doing here?”, said Wheeler defensively. But not scared, Billy noticed.

“Relax, he’s just dropping me off,” said Max. 

“Then why’s he still here?”

“Your mum wanted to give me her cookie,” teased Billy.

“Ew, don’t say it like that,” said Max as she grabbed both Wheeler’s and Henderson’s sleeves and dragged them to the basement as it fit the children-eating troll she was. 

“Wait,” said Hernderson, on the way to his demise. “Are you gonna hit Steve again? Don’t do it! Or else!”

They disappeared down the stairs. 

“You heard the man,” said Steve. “Don’t hit me, or else.”

He wanted to make it sound like a joke, but Billy could smell just how nervous he was. 

“Why are you babysitting? Where’s the happy couple?”

“Jonathan works a wedding at the country club. Nancy helps him.”

“Alright. And you do this because…?”

“Cookies made with love,” said Harrington sarcastically. He went into the room and grabbed one.