#in class its So interesting and i'll engage as much as i can

[eowylesbian]

every day i regret doing physics

[waitmyturtles]

Have you read any of the Thai academic papers regarding MAME's work? sometimes I feel like fandom at large has a very strong western bias towards her that borders on xenophobia in review of anything attached to her unless it's more low stakes gmmtv style stuff like wedding plan was which suits western sensibilities more.

Hi, Non! This is interesting framing you've put forth here. I want to note that I'm close with some folks, particularly @bengiyo and @lurkingshan, whose critical tastes I trust, and I can assure myself that they would not call Wedding Plan low stakes. During my Old GMMTV Challenge project, I promised myself that I would not watch another MAME show after Love By Chance and TharnType, and I've taken Ben's and Shan's urging to chuck that aside to add Wedding Plan to my OGMMTVC syllabus, which I'll get to after my summer travels. Let me take a second to sort this all out in a more sensible and chronological answer to touch upon what I know about MAME now that I'm much more read into Thai BLs and the history of the genre.

Regarding academia and MAME, I have not read Thai source material on her start and her legacy in Thai Y novel writing and Thai BL/Series Y television productions. What I am in the midst of reading at the moment is Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand (Baudinette hailing from Australia), and he does get in depth with MAME's beginnings, which for me was the first primary source material that I have encountered about her background. To summarize quickly, MAME (along with individuals like INDRYTIMES/Kwang Latika, who wrote the original novel for Love Sick, and others) was part of the first crop of young middle-to-upper-class female college students who became enamored with Japanese BL/yaoi manga, as well as (in many cases) K-pop idols, and began writing fan fiction about and/or in the styles of these interests, which led to the development of the unique Thai Y novel genre.

It does seem to me, at least on Tumblr, that a good chunk of Western fandom here has written off MAME. I'm Asian-American, and I come to my hesitation about MAME from a particularly Asian perspective, so I really can't speak for the non-Asian fans about what they're rejecting. Let me at least explain what I'm rejecting, and how I've engaged in dialogue about it with critical friends here.

LBC did not have as much of what I will attempt to describe as I saw in TharnType, something that I might now call collectivist homophobia or collectivist bias. But LBC had a smattering of it, something that I smelled early on in that series. In both series, MAME seemed to approach her characters, to me, with a distanced hand of judgement that, to me, recalled the kinds of biases that my Asian parents tried to implant in me in my childhood, that I rejected throughout my young years. Queer material is so very often not good to its queer characters, and it seemed to me through LBC and TT that MAME intended to gild that lily to channel a populist homophobia that she seemed to know would resonate with a broader fanbase -- which it did, in part, because TharnType in particular was the first Thai BL with heat in every episode.

(Two things to note about my review of TharnType that I penned last year. First item to note is that Boys Love Media in Thailand had not been published yet, and I had not read primary source material about MAME. I was enraged at the time about fan theories that MAME had been a victim of sexual assault, and had therefore written her queer characters with the biased vitriol that I perceived coming from her because of that theorized past. I still think these theories are equivocating and problematic. Second item is that I heavily recommend reading the reblogs of my TT review, tags and posts and all, to see literally the spectrum of commentary of the MAME fandom/anti-fandom across Tumblr. Writing that post and reading those reblogs was a hell of a great experience.)

Just to summarize this, then -- I choose to not engage with MAME because I see under- and overhanded bias in the work that I've watched, with my Asian eyes; and I just might assume that many Westerners see the same thing. But I don't really know, because I haven't talked to that many Western fans about the depth of this.

So what does this mean for this moment in time? I understand MAME's Love Sea is airing, which I'm not watching, and I missed the boat on Love In the Air -- so I think I'm missing some critical and/or catty chatter about those two shows from the fandom because I don't have context.

But I do know there are folks out there that either write MAME off wholly, likely for similar reasons that I've listed above, and/or hate-watch her shows and post about it. To each their own.

I would not have considered Wedding Plan if Ben and Shan weren't screaming about it. I'm happy to have fewer shows on my plate, I got no time. However.

Nothing in this world exists in a static vacuum. If MAME is experimenting with tone, approach, style, and even taste regarding her shows, then more power to her. @bengiyo's post linked above about Wedding Plan is important for me to see, because I see that he's noting that parts of the fandom may have actually demonstrated real homophobic dialogue about MAME's fictional characters, which, to me, I'm like, what? Really? You got time for that? But also:

If MAME, back in 2019 with TharnType, picked up that her Thai and global fanbases were more inclined to check in with collectivist homophobia, as I'm calling it.... and now, in 2023-2024, has noted that her fanbases might be far more inclined to support real queer equality and overtones in shows, and is including those themes in her work -- can we not welcome that change in? That's why I'll give Wedding Plan a shot.

Let's be sassy and ironic for a second. Could she be making this change for da money and the fame? Sure. But -- capitalism unfortunately rules this world. Car commercials in the States have interracial queer couples parenting children nowadays. If equality talks to money, then content makers will take note. I think I'd be a hypocrite to say that MAME shouldn't make her dollar, all while she's experimenting with more equitable stances.

Last note. There's been quite the dialogue simmering these past few weeks about GMMTV's We Are, and whether or not GMMTV is stepping away from a past where many (not all, but many) of its shows explored queerness in depth. He's Coming To Me, Bad Buddy, Dark Blue Kiss (yes... the first three shows I listed were Aof Noppharnach shows, fuck), Theory of Love, 3 Will Be Free. The major GMMTV BL/GL shows that have aired recently that have made huge waves on social media -- Only Friends, 23.5, Last Twilight, and now My Love Mix-Up -- were/are helmed by branded (capitalism, hello!) pairs, and three out of four of them were flops, with MLMU already treading that territory in EPISODE TWO, for heaven's sake. (Y'all, read the reblogs on this post. Wow.) I finished a rewatch of The Eclipse weeks ago, and I'm dragging my feet on my review, because of what I think that show represents for what branded pairs end up doing to otherwise original content.

I want to posit a theory, that I'll work more on when my OGMMTVC is over, that we have living, real-time proof that the branded pair system is failing good content -- because these shows have to produce engagement snippets of these pairs, instead of more broadly penetrating artistic content. GMMTV's one-off shows with non-branded pairs, like Be My Favorite and Wandee Goodday, are FAR MORE INTERESTING content-wise, varied and inquisitive in their artistic takes on queerness. Even Cherry Magic, featuring the long-awaited return of TayNew, felt fresh, because we literally hadn't seen TayNew in FIVE YEARS. Tay actually KISSED ANOTHER DUDE, shocker!, in 3 Will Be Free. I want to go back to those days, where the pairs could act well outside of their range and their business partners, instead of being limited to the same tone and style that their pairings and their fandoms demand.

I say ALL OF THIS, because isn't it interesting that GMMTV seems to be reverting on a scale of inquisitiveness about queerness -- and MAME seems to be going in the opposite direction?

I would not have expected it. But I have found, lately, some of GMMTV's "takes" on "queerness," as in Only Friends, to be outright offensive. This corporation has become far more gunshy to let their branded pairs just be fictionally gay. If MAME wants to take on a healthier stance of equity, and to play around with more realistic depictions of what it means to be queer in Thailand, then go for it, girl. I will admittedly be watching Wedding Plan with my Asian side-eye and my smell tests for bias, but I look forward to being proven wrong about my suspicions. I want to be a responsible fan here, open to MAME's changes.

This ended up being a lot, but thank you for provoking these thoughts, Non.

[jq37]

FH Junior Year Post-Season Thoughts

With another season of Fantasy High in the books and my recaps all finished, I wanted to do an overview of my thoughts on the season as a whole. Even though I feel generally positive about my experience with the season, there are a few things I think maybe could have been done differently narratively or mechanically. This isn't to criticize the way the season went down or to backseat DM/Play. More my combined ten years of college for textual analysis and storytelling bleeding through, haha. 

I first want to start with the things I thought worked really well.

Fantasy High has "High" right in its title but, in past seasons (and especially Sophomore Year), not as much time as you'd think was spent actually at school and even if it was spent at school, there wasn't much time spent in class or engaging with the realities of being a student. This season really dug into the academic consequences of skipping your classes all the time and the realities of needing to do a ton of extra stuff to try for a scholarship and I think that was a refreshing thing to highlight for a change. Being more scared at flunking out than the dragon that's trying to eat you feels very emotionally resonant. Real "High School Is Killing Me" vibes for anyone who's a fan of NPMD. 

Even though Fantasy High is a show that has some deep emotional beats and strong character arcs, it's first and foremost a comedy show. From the jump, everyone was generating bit after bit that had me cracking up as usual. "Little girly dog collar" is one of the funniest combinations of words I can think of. I think it was Siobhan who said that this was the goofy season and, having seen it, I'd have to agree with her. It never failed to make me laugh and it was always a highlight of my week.  The cast just has great table chemistry that I love to watch no matter what they're doing. 

Watching some of these high level combat encounters is as close as I'll get to understanding people watching sports. Even though combat is generally my least fave part of D&D, I think the cast really killed it this season with how cleverly they played and Brennan came up with some really great combat encounters. Special shout outs to Baron's Game and The Last Stand for their unique mechanics.  

This is going to be one that's on the other list as well because my feelings are mixed, but I genuinely do like the downtime mechanic and how it forces hard choices. I think it's an interesting way to connect a mechanic to the story and cultivate stressful atmosphere for the season.

I have problems with the execution but I love the Rat Grinders in concept. I think as early as season 1 I was hoping that we'd meet a party that was like the Bizarro Bad Kids and the idea of a party that's farming XP instead of going on crazy adventures is a strong concept. Likewise, I think a character that's jealous because of your "cool" (read: tragic) backstory is also a fun trait for an unhinged antagonist in this kind of setting.

This is me absolutely showing my bias but I adored the Abernant Sisters content this season. I dunno if Siobhan specifically asked Brennan to not put her on a bus with the other beloved NPCs or what but I'm so glad she stuck around and we got the development we did. It was almost entirely ancillary to the plot but there was this clear pattern of Aelwyn getting softer and sweeter towards Adaine over the course of the season, from the guarded, "Enjoy the nemesis ward," to, full I love you's and, "I'd take them to get you." It was way more focus than I expected considering that Aelwyn completed the bulk of her arc last season and a lot of the time, a redemption arc basically ends after the big gesture (in this case, Aelwyn taking a magic blast for Adaine in Sophomore Year). So the fact that we got to see all of these sweet moments of them reestablishing their relationship outside of do or die moments was such a pleasant surprise. Again, I fully admit I am extremely biased, but this was my top wishlist item and the season overdelivered so there's a baseline happy I'm always gonna be with Junior Year. 

OK, so moving on to things I things I think could have been tweaked.

Even though I liked the downtime system and the pressures it created, it also squeezed out the chance for more casual PC to NPC interactions that would usually be more common because they were semi-locked behind the relationship track and there wasn't an obvious benefit to roll for Relationships (as opposed to something like Academics which was crucial for not flunking out). Making the mechanical benefit more clear would have helped that (even if it meant Brennan didn't get his reveal--which he ended up just telling them anyway so might as well do it early). The other thing is that the consequence of a rage token was so bad that of course they spent all season avoiding getting one. Things might have gone differently if the consequences had been a bit more obscured, like in Neverafter. And it could have been a nice parallel to the Rat Grinders to take this unknown resource that makes things easier for you but is also having this negative effect. Then it could be like dang we did the same thing they did unknowingly. 

I mentioned this in my recap but I'll talk about it again. It is a little confusing to me that we did the Ankarna subplot right after we did the very similar Cassandra subplot. It took up so much time this season which I don't think is an issue in and of itself, it's just that we literally just went through some extremely similar beats last season. Why double up on this same storyline when there's so much new ground to cover? Or if we're going to raise a god, why not make it a different kind of god? One theory I had early on was that the Rat Grinders were trying to raise their own god to one-up the Bad Kids but instead of raising a chill, misunderstood Cass type, they accidentally raised a god who was erased for a good reason and got in over their heads. 

It's fun for there to be connections between seasons but sometimes it's like, OK that's a *lot* of coincidences. Like the god who your rivals is trying to raise *happens* to be the wife of your cleric's god and also *happens* to be the god of the fiend trapped in your friend's mom's chest and that fiend *happens* to be the relative on your bard's dad's side which is *also* the reason she is randomly cursed? That's a LOT of red string connecting plot points. As unhinged as Kipperlilly is about coveting Riz's backstory if I saw that go down I'd be like you have *got* to be kidding me.  

The mystery elements didn't feel like they clicked as well as they did in other seasons. I think that's partially because Porter's plan was so convoluted (seriously, I made another post about how haphazard his plan was) and had all these moving parts and we didn't get clear answers for a lot of mechanical things like how the rage crystals actually work and when they were implanted and stuff. You had stuff like Devil's Honey which I think is super cool as a thing that exists in the world but ended up being an element that just led the players down the wrong path and had a relatively small payoff (that Porter was using it to lie to Ankarna). I think it's plausible that a forgotten god would be willing to listen to anyone saying the right things without introducing this element. (As opposed to, for instance, Ambrosia which has a very clear connection to what's going on and is a solid clue that someone is flirting with aspirations of godhood.) 

The Porter reveal came so late in the season that even though it was a fun/challenging fight, there wasn't a lot of emotional weight behind killing him. It was basically just dunking on a teacher Fig has always hated who was also mean to Gorgug so screw him. Which, valid of course. But the Bad Kids were never going to react as strongly to Porter as they were to the Rat Grinders so putting Porter in the prime villain spot isn't necessarily what I would have done if I wanted the fight to be more than just a brawl--especially since we've done "School admin with student minions" already in S1. I don't mind the full circle callback but it would have been nice to pick something else for the sake of variety. We haven't had a child mastermind yet and I think Kipperlilly could have been a great candidate for that. My friend suggested that it would have been fun if Kipperlilly was trying to become a god instead of just being Porter's underling and I agree. "I'm not anyone's chosen one so I'll choose myself," is still within her established jealousy and Type A tendencies. If we want to keep Porter involved since that was Brennan's gift to Emily, maybe have it be that instead of Kipperlilly working for him, he's working for her. Like Artemis Fowl vibes! And the Rat Grinders can be varying levels of on board--from true believe to redeemable. I don't think Brennan planned for the Bad Kids to ever redeem her so might as well go full megalomaniacal mastermind with her and make her The Villain if she's not gonna be nuanced anyway. If My Little Pony can do it and send a literal child to Tartarus for pony treason (or whatever Cozy Glow did), Fantasy High can too. 

Continuing from the above, if we have the Porter fight in place of the Grix fight (a la Daybreak) and don't use Ankarna, that gives way more time for the Bad Kids to investigate the Rat Grinders throughout the season and it would mean that they would have their personalities developed a lot more. With the limited downtime, they Bad Kids didn't have a lot of time to spend on these kids who were just hating on them for no good reason (valid). But if you cleared their plate of the god hunt stuff, they'd have more time for this. And if they weren't all rage zombies to varying degrees, it would be easier to see them as characters. Besides Kipperlilly (and, funnily enough, Mary Ann) we don't really have a good read on what these kids are actually like. The little time we spent with them all season was kind of a wash if them breaking out of rage means their personalities got laundered too. Anyway, regardless of how their loyalties ended up shaking out, it would have been fun for them to be more than the minions that they were in canon. As funny as it is for them to just kinda be XP farming losers, they did have the potential to be more interesting in their own right if they weren't just Porter's minions. And again, we've done adults forcing or coercing children into being minions in Freshman and Sophomore Year already. Lemme see some self-created child maniacs! (Or, peer pressured child maniacs. That's cool too. The Lucy/Kipperlilly dynamic is way more interesting to me if it's like girl, I would take a bullet for you but I CANNOT walk this path with you any further in response to *I* will be a god and you can be *MY* champion.)

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Like I said, I have my points that I think could have been tightened, but overall an enjoyable season and I will be glued to my screen if they decide to close out with Senior Year! 

[616witch]

Hi there! As a pretty casual Avengers fan, I haven’t read too many runs that portray the relationship between Wanda and Vision. Why do fans like this ship? And why do some Wanda fans seem to dislike Vision? Are there any runs or comics that show the good or bad of this pairing?

Hello! I'm going to answer this question because I love these characters and I love to waffle about them, but also just going to remind people that I also have a personal account over at @brw where I talk more about stuff like this! This account is almost a portfolio of my graphic design, as well as an archive for comic art and editing resources and other graphic designers, with a few odd extra things I think are cool that I want on this blog. I try to refrain from posting too much commentary or the like here, just because I want to keep it very focused on my creations and the creations of other folks. With that out of the way, I'll dive into this!

Why do fans like this ship?

Well, I can only speak to my experience as a 616 ScarletVision fan, and from engaging with different fans through the years, but these are only my personal takes and some observations. Everyone you ask could give you a different answer, and none of them would be wrong.

For me, the personal pull is, first and foremost–I really like both of these characters. They both have a very distinctive design, they both have very strong core aesthetics, they both have dramatic, strong personalities and they both have a very distinguished speech pattern, so their relationship would always be interesting to me, because it combines so many different things that I love. Without being a fan of Vision and Wanda separately as characters, I wouldn't like this relationship as much as I do.

Anyway, beyond just generally liking their respective vibes, I've always appreciated just how dramatic and intense these two are. Vision and Wanda definitely feel like their respective first, proper adult relationship, at least in my opinion. This might be divisive, as Wanda and Warren Worthington III did date in First Class, but that relationship to me read more teenage and youthful, while Vision and Wanda are very much so swept in the emotional and physical intensity that they develop for each other very rapidly in their Avengers appearances together. That dramatic, strong personality they both possess makes their relationsip very dramatic and over the top, which I find a delight to read.

Giant Size Avengers #4 (1974)

Even when they get married, this drama doesn't really go away, and the bio of this blog comes from one of my favourite issues depicting these two and their dramatic sensibilities.

Marvel Super-Heroes V2 #10 (1992)

This panel brings us into our second reason, which is that there's something really interesting about the way these characters are both social outcasts for a variety of reasons; Wanda is Rromani, a mutant and a witch, and Vision is a synthezoid, completely non-human and unable to fit into human norms and customs. A big theme of these two and their relationship is having a similar lived experience because of the ways they are social outcasts, and of their love becoming stronger than the adversity that they face because of it.

Avengers V1 #113 (1973)

To me, its a very engaging story, and it's well compounded by again, how dramatic and high-energy these two are, the ways they show and perform their love for one another. They're also often very bitter and angry at the world for the way it mistreats them, which is an interesting character trait for both of them as other characters (like Pietro) are often written as antagonists for those opinions. And this of course makes it more special when they are so tender and loving around each other, the ways they can find solace and peace in one another.

They also just generally brought out the best in one another during their marriage, in my opinion. Vision's stoic, dependable personality and their support for Wanda while she was exploring her magic with Agatha Harkness was incredibly important as she developed and grew from a mutant with magical themeing, to a powerful witch in her own right. It is Vision who taught Wanda the principal of "Order and Chaos belong together", which is a really important line of thought for her. And Vision of course becomes increasingly more in tune with their own emotions, more emotionally mature and more developed as a person as their relationship with Wanda develops. They go from a traumatised, bitter person angry at the world, with essentially no emotional regulation skills because they're like three days old, to being a loving, deeply compassionate and considerate spouse and parent, who has built their own family in spite of the isolation they grew up with.

There's probably other reasons I'm missing, but these are the big ones in my opinion, why I keep coming back to these two despite not being together for 30, 40 odd years.

Why do some Wanda fans not like Vision?

There are a few different reasons for these, so I'll do my best to be brief. Some reasons are more than valid and are worthy critiques and understandable reactions and feelings to have, and others, quite frankly, are complete horseshit made up by people who feel like their dislike of Lines On Paper has to be justified, or righteous, and can't allow it to just be. I'm focusing this list on specific reasons they dislike Vision, not people just preferring other relationships like WandaJericho or ScarletPhoenix or what have you.

Just not the type of character they like. Which is understandable. Not every character works for every person, and sometimes disliking a character isn't that deep! People are allowed to not like lines on a sheet of paper, after all.

Character and ship was ruined for them by the MCU, and MCU fans. Also understandable, although I wish that didn't mean that all the actually interesting parts of the 616 Vision/Wanda dynamic was ignored, but what can you do.

Has a difficult and varied history of being coded as a minority by various (very white, very American) writers during the 70s and early 80s, which have not aged well. A big inspiration for Vision was Spock from Star Trek, who is obviously a biracial character and faces a lot of discrimination for this, and this was part of the character makeup of Vision and it was often a source of allegory, as well as a source of drama in Wanda and Vision's relationship. Not an often well done aspect of their character, and not very tasteful. This writing turned off some people, which is understandable (although if you're asking me, which you are, it's not any more egregious than X-Men coding but that's neither here or there)

Vision's character development and prioritisation in the 70s came at the expense of Pietro. This one is true; Steve Englehart, for whatever reason, decided that as Vision and Wanda's relationship became more fully fledged and he was going to continue with Vision's minority coding, that Pietro was going to be an antagonistic and often allegorically racist person to give that dynamic more drama. This was fixed when Moondragon decided to lobotomise him because I guess actually writing character development was too much work, but it still means a solid chunk of Pietro's 70s appearance are marked by this. It's a shame, because I think there's a way to write this antagonism in a way that makes sense and is narratively fulfilling, but that's not the conversation at the moment. I do appreciate this as a reason of why some people have never quite worked with Vision (although given that this hasn't been true in the past 20, 30 odd years of publication history I find it strange as a reason to dislike modern Vision but I'm biased in this conversation)

Writers reduced Wanda to her relationship with Vision. This is, frankly, bullshit, and I really don't know where it came from. There's a slight argument for pre-Byrne Wanda and especially early 70s Wanda, but I can still name a few different issues during the period of their marriage where Wanda had her own adventure outside of Vision, and the thing is folks; Vision wasn't getting many solo appearances or stories during their marriage, either. Post Byrne, it really doesn't make sense. Wanda was reduced to her grief and her mental illness, yes, which were caused by the traumatic dissolution of her marriage to Vision, but that isn't the same as her being reduced to her marriage. Later on, what Wanda is reduced to is House of M and the Decimation; this has nothing to do with Vision. Sure, if you're reading Roy Thomas/Steve Englehart early 70s Avengers, maybe, but these are only two writers in a sea of people who have handled these characters, so this argument doesn't hold water for me.

Vision is abusive. Anyone who says this shouldn't be reading comics, they should be watching Blue's Clues. Vision can be mean, or blunt, or emotionally distant, or bitter–but that does not mean Vision is abusive, that means that comics exaggerate personality traits for the sake of drama. It's a soap opera! And to be honest, any argument you can apply to them can apply to virtually any comic relationship from the era. That's just the writing style, it doesn't mean that Vision is an abusive figure.

Vision made a robot version of Wanda, which was creepy and weird. True, but using a Tom King comic to talk about Vision is like using a Bendis comic to talk about Wanda. Neither of these writers had good intentions with these characters, or particularly cared about or respected them as characters and what they're meant to represent. Vision (2015) was a bad, deeply racist and xenophobic comic written by a CIA agent who admitted freely to torturing people as if it was a fun little tidbit. Unless you're using it to criticise Tom King's racism, I have zero interest in acknowledging this comic in the history of these two.

Vision's character comes at the expense of Jim Hammond and Simon Williams. I... don't see this one? Both the revelations that Vision had a relation to Jim and Simon came after their initial debut, and Vision is a distinct person and design from both these characters. Writers can use Jim and Simon whenever, and they often do. There is just that historical/familial connection, to try and build up connections in the Marvel Universe, but it isn't as if the character of Vision RUINED Jim and Simon, or whatever. In fact, Simon would have never been remembered and brought back from the dead to be honest without Vision keeping his character alive in the memory of people. The same is arguably true for Jim, who wasn't really used in post Timely marvel comics at all until the Vision connection was established. And if any character ruined Jim Hammond's prospects in comics, it would be Johnny Storm, the character who is considered the definitive Human Torch, not Vision, who only dedicated comic fans probably know of the Jim Hammond connection.

Vision cheated on Wanda with Mantis. A) no they didn't, B) Steve Engelhart just has a weird cheating thing, so I really don't consider this a big deal. Don't believe me? In the Fantastic Four: Big Town series he did, there's a moment where it is heavily implied that Hank Pym and Charles Xavier are having some kind of affair to contrast with the affair Janet and Tony Stark are having. It's just a quirk of his. Also, you can't blame Englehart for making everyone fall in love with Mantis, that's his girl.

Vision has no emotions and can't emotionally fulfil or love Wanda. Anyone who says this has probably not passed basic English class, because my G-d, how do you miss the point of a character that badly. Avengers #57 didn't die for this.

And finally, I think a lot of people only care about Wanda in relation to the Magetfam dynamic and aren't particularly interested in her realtionships on the Avengers at all, despite the fact that that is who she is far more than being an X-Man. They don't really like that she's on the "cop team", so any relation to it is dismissed or ignored in favour of her having more relationships with mutant characters. Every time Vision appears in a Wanda comic, despite the fact that they are the parent of her children, someone she spent years of her life with, her first proper love and someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, it has to be "forced", regardless of how ridiculous an idea that is. It's dumb, and stupid, and I don't think these people really care about Wanda as a character, but that's probably just me being a nasty little hater.

Runs and comics I recommend for this couple

Good or bad can be subjective; I've seen people read completely differently into a scene I thought was sweet, or creepy, or whatever, so I'll just send a list of what I consider good issues to get a handle on these two. Bolded are important, italics are just bonus issues that might be of interest.

Avengers V1 #91–#93

Avengers V1 #96

Avengers V1 #113

I (heart) Marvel AI <- AU issue, but cute

The Celestial Madonna arc (#124, #125, #129–#135, Giant Size Avengers #2–#4)

Avengers V1 #147

Marvel Team-Up V1 #41–#42

Marvel Fanfare #14

Marvel Fanfare #58 (Their house here is burned down in Avengers V1 #252)

Marvel Super-Heroes V2 #10

Vision and the Scarlet Witch V1 & V2, V2 also crosses over with West Coast Avengers V2 for the first 4 or so issues.

West Coast Avengers V2 #34–#36

What If? V1 #20, #38

West Coast Avengers V2 #42–#46 is the Vision Quest arc, and is the dissolution of their marriage.

Hope this helps, anon!

[youkaigakkou-tl]

Ok, damn, call me out (joking I don't mind!)

The question is, What do you (or anyone in the fandom) think Ranmaru's attachment style (secure, disorganized, ambivalent/anxious, or avoidant) is?

(yes this is for my psychology class, yes I am doing a character profile on this man ((actually it's more fun, maybe I'll ask my teacher if I could show you guys it if anyone is interested in that kind of stuff idk)), yes its fine if anyone else wants to weigh in)

I've just been flip flopping on which one he is, so if ya want to answer it thanks, if you don't than still thanks

shit ok idk psychology so im just going off wikipedia here

he reads as dismissive-avoidant to me mostly, hes cagey about everything, the number of people he engages with regularly can be counted on one hand and youd have fingers left over, he acts like he depends on the troupe and douman for petty stuff but he really doesnt trust/depend on people for stuff that matters (his secret motive that he thinks douman will help achieve that hes also not going to tell him about, also not telling douman that hes gonna get smited for killing him) (and also he doesnt want others to depend on him)

...although i guess he could also be fearful-avoidant (was that the other one u were flip flopping on?), its unclear how much of him is an act (but if ur putting on an act 100% of the time isnt that just called your personality??), but i dont think his self esteem is that bad

i do wanna hear ur take bc ur the one taking the class after all, and also what that project is 👀

[anneapocalypse]

DAI Companion Styles: Josephine

Dragon Age Companion Styles Series

Next up by special request from @magneticmage is the lovely, the gracious, the refined, the stunning Josephine Montilyet, Ambassador to the Inquisition. (And yes, Josephine is an advisor, not a companion; yes this series is called “Companion Styles”; yes I’ve decided to just lump the advisors in with them and not change the name, and we’re all just going to have to live with it. 😉)

Disclaimer: I am not a fashion expert, dress historian, or professional designer! I'm just a gamer who likes to sew and has a casual interest in historical fashion, and a great interest in fantasy worldbuilding and the implications thereof, and that's where I'm coming from on these posts. I'd also love to hear thoughts from fans who have a more in-depth background in historical dress, textiles, and armor.

Also, we’re going to be talking about gendered clothing, so let me state for the record that I don’t believe clothing has any inherent gender. However we’re going to be talking about fashion in a cultural context here, and in the context of Thedas (and specifically Orlais), fashion is heavily gendered, and how characters engage with those gendered expectations can be personally and socially interesting.

As with Sera, I’m going to be focusing mostly on Josephine’s style from an in-universe perspective because that’s what I think is most interesting!

Much appreciation to @dragonagegallery, whose posts have made the canon review for this post much easier! The Art of Dragon Age Inquisition was also a great reference.

(Look at her. She even looks good in the Haven Chantry lighting. Nobody looks good in that. Iconic.)

Josephine is an Antivan-born noblewoman educated in Orlais, who trained and briefly worked as a bard before becoming disillusioned with that life and turning to a career as a diplomat instead. She has been working as the Antivan Ambassador to Orlais up until the point she joins the Inquisition as its Ambassador. Josephine is well-versed in the Grand Game and the culture of the Imperial Court and the upper class. If I were to say that Josephine is fashionable, I don’t think most people would disagree with me.

Yet her signature outfit is quite different from what we see on the fashionable upper class ladies of Orlais. There is a fair amount of Renaissance influence in Orlesian high fashion, but as others have pointed out, there's actually quite a lot of variation in sleeves, collar, and understructures (things like crinolines or panniers that give a skirt a certain volume and shape), drawing inspiration from centuries of European historical dress. Yet Josephine still stands apart from the fashions for Orlesian noblewomen, in some very interesting ways.

I should note at the start here that I am working at a bit of disadvantage with Josephine because we've never been to her country of origin in the games, and basically every Antivan character we've met so far has either been wearing armor, or the same styles as the country they're in at the time. (Also, most of them have been Crows, which Josephine is not.) So I can't comment on how Josie's look compares to what is fashionable in Antiva at the moment, because we don't know. Instead, I'll be talking about her style in the context of Orlais, which I think is fair since she went to school in Orlais and has been living and working there for quite a while now. Just bear in mind going forward that there is a whole sphere of potential influence that we can't really examine here.

But I do think there's also good reason to assume that Josephine takes inspiration from Orlesian fashion, starting with her color scheme. One of the first things that strikes me (and I think many viewers) about Josephine's outfit is "Wow, that's very gold." And it is! It's very gold and blue—colors directly associated with Orlais and with the nobility especially. We see gold and blue all over Orlais, from the capital to the countryside, and Josephine has deliberately chosen to dress herself in the colors that signify power and influence in this nation.

So let's take a look at the specific pieces she wears.

Josephine is wearing what appears to me to be a blouse of gold-colored silk satin with puffed sleeves and a tie-neck or possibly a matching scarf, dark-colored breeches ending just below the knee, a heavier sleeveless overdress or vest in blue brocade or damask (possibly even fine tooled leather; it's really hard to say) that ends at the knee, gold stockings, and black flat shoes. She wears a wide leather belt at the waist, with a gold satin sash tied over it. You can see some better images of Josephine's outfit in concept art and her character model in detail on @dragonagegallery.

This outfit is fascinating to me, and if you've read my post on Sera's style, you might have already guessed a few reasons why.

Given Josephine's basic silhouette, it's easy to look at her and assume she's wearing a dress, but she actually isn't. Even if she was, it would be a break from the Orlesian high fashions of the day, which favor floor-length skirts. But this isn't a dress at all. I would actually compare the blue vest to the leather vests we see in some of the Inquisitor armor variants, for mages and for rogues. The detailing on Josephine's makes it look finer, but it's a similar style, with a similar utility: it's easy to move in. Josephine's vest even has large visible pockets on the sides! And this goes all the way back to her concept art.

I think it's easy to get distracted by the big shiny gold sleeves and miss the fact that Josephine's outfit is actually very practical. In fact, you know what else it reminds me a little of?

Variants of this outfit appear in both Dragon Age 2 and Inquisition, and it's always been a non-gendered look. Note the knee breeches, the vest, and the puffed sleeves (though with much less extravagant gathers than Josephine's).

Josephine wears flat shoes, easy to walk in, comfortable for all-day wear. The wide leather belt echoes but does not exactly mirror the popular underbust corsetry seen on gowns; it is of a more practical style and material, and I'd imagine it could be good for back support for those long hours she spends at a desk. And in fact, the way Josephine wears it over her vest with the sash tied over the belt is not unlike the way a rogue Inquisitor wears their armor:

Though Josephine has left behind the life of a bard, I feel it's undeniable that that life has influenced her style. This is rogue fashion—practical but still stylish, easy to move in, easy to carry items you might need. Josephine is dressed as a rogue, but adapted to her current profession and personal tastes.

It’s all an intriguing choice for a diplomat! Because despite the clear Orlesian influence, Josephine’s look does not very much resemble any of what is fashionable for Orlesian noblewoman at the moment. No long full skirts, no outer underbust corsetry (though her belt does offer a cinched at the waist look), no deep V neckline (though her blue vest does create a similar shape over her blouse). When we compare Josephine to these looks, it’s a very different silhouette with mostly very different shapes. Even her puffed sleeves are puffed in different places than the fashions of high noblewomen (which seem to have the most volume at the elbow or lower right now).

But you know what we do see in Josephine’s outfit?

Breeches ending just below the knee. An outer garment that ends at the knee. Knee-high stockings. A flat black shoe. A shirt with sleeves puffed at the shoulders.

While Josephine’s look is ungendered in the context of a rogue, in the context of a noble this look is undeniably gendered, in a way that might not immediately register to our modern eye.

In the context of Orlesian culture, this is a Menswear-Inspired Look.

Now, unlike Sera, I do not believe Josephine to actually be wearing clothing designed for a man; given her station, this was all likely custom made for her. But in the context of Orlesian high fashion, there is some undeniably masculine styling going on here! And this isn’t about “women don’t wear pants”; many women in Dragon Age do, in fact, wear pants, all the time or in certain contexts; see above about rogue looks. Cassandra and Vivienne both have a skinny pants/leggings thing going on, and they both read more feminine in their styles to me, but they’ll get their own posts! With Josephine, it’s the specific styles of the pieces she’s wearing that bear similarities to men’s high fashion in Orlais. In a modern context, think a woman with long hair in a deliberately feminine style, wearing makeup, some statement jewelry, with a custom-tailored suit. Maybe with a few feminine accents on the suit itself; still definitely a suit. Josephine’s sleeves, for example, are not simply a copy of the male sleeve style; they’re taking inspiration but kind of doing their own thing. And of course, her hair is worn in a style that is practical, but still very elegant and feminine. It’s a Menswear-Inspired Look.

And I just love the fact that both of our F/F romance options in this game are kind of playing with gendered clothing in their personal style, but each very much in their own way.

I'm also fascinated by this one set of concept art called "Displaced Pilgrims" in The Art of Dragon Age: Inquisition, meant to represent "Fereldan and Orlesian refugees who arrived in Haven on a pilgrimage and were unable to leave following the disaster" (p. 75). One piece depicts an Orlesian woman dressed in what is from the hips up the same silhouette we see at the Winter Palace: exaggerated underbust corsetry that emphasizes the hips, a plunging V neckline with scalloped embellishment, a slightly puffed half-sleeve. But below the corset, the skirt has been cropped to mid-thigh and the woman wears a pair of breeches, stockings, and flat shoes with a rounded toe—strikingly similar to Josephine's lower silhouette. I can't recall ever actually seeing any NPCs wandering around Haven looking like this, which is a shame, because I love the concept of an Orlesian noblewoman blending masculine and feminine fashions in order to dress more practically for a journey into the mountains, while still appearing fashionable. I think this may be what Josephine is doing.

Josephine’s necklace is of interest to me as well, as it doesn’t bear a particular resemblance to anything I’ve found in Orlesian fashion; while we see a lot of necklines trimmed in gold, and a few necklaces, there’s nothing that looks like this piece. After a bit of research, I don’t think this is just a flashy piece of jewelry. Given the size of the chain and the way Josephine wears it draped over her shoulders, I think this might actually be a livery collar, also called a chain of office, that denotes her position as an ambassador!

Josephine’s whole look is very distinctive, and very put-together. In my opinion, this is a Choice. This is the kind of outfit that says, “I look like this on purpose,” and this from a woman who knows that a first impression may decide the course of a conversation that will affect the fate of nations. She is wearing a chain of office that immediately announces her station. She’s wearing expensive fabrics—again, I am interpreting that shiny gold fabric as silk and that is not cheap. Her vest shows fine detailing. Her clothing immediately says that she is both a person of means and holds a position of respect. Her color scheme speaks to her Orlesian connections. Her clothing conveys power and status. Yet her divergence from the styles of an Orlesian noblewoman also sets her apart. The practical elements of her look say, “I am no idle lady of leisure; I am capable; I am prepared for every occasion, even the unexpected.” And the roguish elements hearken back to her bard training, saying, “I know how the Game is played; I can be dangerous if I must be.”

Above all, I think this outfit speaks to Josephine’s self-assurance. She knows and understands social trends, but she is not beholden to them; she bends them to her tastes, rather than being bent by them. She acknowledges her past and what she has learned from it. She knows herself, and is in control of her own image.

I think this outfit does some pretty brilliant and inspired visual storytelling about Josephine Montilyet. I wouldn’t change a thing.

[ultranos]

Hey nos, please could you start tagging your atla critical posts so I can blacklist them? You do post some good points occasionally, but the sheer bitterness is getting a bit much for me.

This is fascinating to me for a number of different reasons. The first of which is that I'm honestly kind of baffled by what it even means, because I don't...really engage with fandoms in "pure praise" mode. Ever. My brain doesn't work like that. I took too many media studies classes in university for my brain to work like that; there's always part of my brain engaging critically with every piece of media I interact with and I can't shut it off. And the longer I pick and prod at it, the longer I can engage with it and think critically about it, the more interested in the media I am.

This brings me to another reason this is fascinating to me, because I think if you're picking up on bitterness, Anon, it's not coming from where you think. I actually very much like AtLA. I like it in spite of, and some times because of, its flaws. I like the fact that I can see the bones of a great story, see the flaws where things could be better, where the things they got absolutely right still hold up all these years later.

Where the bitterness and frustration comes from is with some areas of fandom's tendency to sand down those edges and flaws instead of engaging with them or throwing them into high relief. To ignore the flaws and pretend they don't exist because it makes them uncomfortable and unhappy.

(Okay, maybe some bitterness is from how Actual Human Disaster Child Azula was treated for a long-ass time, I'll cop to that.)

I like the canon Morally Ambiguous But Trying to Be Better Uncle Iroh over Saint Iroh.

I like the canon Angry Ball of Rage and Actually Kind of a Jackass Zuko over Never Did Anything Wrong In His Life Sad Zuko.

And I'd fist-fight a god for Aang, actual child and actual genocide survivor.

I really, really like the show I watched. I don't like the show that exists in a lot of people's heads.

[hosuuuus]

(my first attempt at fluff. Have mercy on me.)

(cw: uhhh nothing much. just good ol Johan statue of Lieberty getting a bad case of cuteness aggression with his dear wholesome friend and trying out a different form of affection with em', reader talks casually with johan, calls him "dude" and stuff like that.)

———

"Truth."

You choose it again: same as your last previous turns. Idly resting your head on your folded arms on the table, while looking out the window in passing. Doing whatever can pass the time right now in this room. The lecture room is still drowsily empty save for the two of you. Why Johan insists on going into classes this early is beyond you.

(something something- "it's good to be prepared and not miss out-", blah blah blah- "you get to choose which seats are the best suited for each subject—", yadda yadda yadda, "(name)? are you still listening?—" end quote.)

"Again?"

Johan asks you with a slight mixture of curiosity and amusement. gentle voice matching the mellow and idle atmosphere right now. both of you in agreement to play this small game out of a muted sense of boredom.

"Not that I mind you giving me your thoughts and opinions so freely, but are my questions that engaging or do you just purposefully not want to do a dare?"

"Probably." you shrug softly, resting all the more into your arms, body slumping further onto your chair. "You'll probably make me do something weird if I choose dare."

"Such as?"

"I don't know dude." you're bored, but you're not that bored. "Maybe dare me to embarrass myself in front of class, or... or dare me to show you my phone! Lord knows what you'll do with whatever you find in there."

His brow slightly quirks up a bit for a second before it rests down again into its calm position. A small smile spreads across him at your somewhat instilled fear of not choosing a dare and even forming a somewhat "strategy" on this little made up game for kids.

"No one is going is going to make you do anything, (name). it's just a game, not an event of life and death."

Okay that's... true. But still, either it's from your passive boredom that makes you take this game so seriously right now, or it's some sort of instinct formed in childhood to protect you from being dared to pick up a gross slimy worm in the playground; you refuse to just do a dare all willy nilly. So you negotiate.

"...Can we do one each?"

Johan gives a small nod at your proposition. "Alright. If you do one, I'll do one. I'll even let you dare me first if it will put you at ease."

"Alright! hmm..." you take the time to think about this opportunity, before something that's been recent on your mind pops up.

"Can I borrow your face for a second? That's my dare."

"Interesting how I'm the one here accused of giving a supposedly 'weird' dare."

"Shush! Not in a weird way or anything. I just want to test something real quick, and us playing this game is the only time I can have you willingly let me touch your face."

Johan tilts his head just slightly, he doesn't seem too eager to do your bold request... but he relents anyway, curious to see what you'll do with it. He nods to give you the go, which you do— bringing both your hands up to start cupping his face lightly.

Somehow expected, Johan does not bother to flinch away when your hand comes up to cup at his jaw. That's cool. It's amazing how still he can be, though you do slightly notice he does find himself, surprisingly, putting in some sort of... conscious effort in keeping himself still.

"...What are you are testing?" he asks you softly.

The slight conscious effort you noticed increase again when you start guiding his jaw to tilt to the side. You look closer at him for a few more seconds, he does as well. Watching you and studying your features as you are doing with him.

You guide his jaw to tilt the other side now, and then you guide him to look up a bit. Closely watching the skin on his face and the stretch of his neck, focusing on his chin and underneath, then you finally stop.

"Yeah... you are never getting stubble my guy."

"... Stubble."

"Uh-huh. Saw this Oliver Queen fella in the comics, has a really cool beard and moustache for a blonde guy! Made me wonder if you'd ever grow a beard or a moustache on ya' Johan."

"A guy in the... comics."

Your friend stays silent for a while. Looking like he's either very much confused... or very much done with the situation. Both maybe.

"... I see."

You retract your hands (not before giving him a small pat on the cheek that has him slightly trying to keep himself still again) and bring them up nonchalantly so you can stretch yourself out and do a little yawn. You don't notice the slight crease in Johan's brow that disappears in a milisecond when you take your hands away.

"Welp, guess you're saving money and the environment from razors and aftershave. So... I guess it's a slay in those areas? Anyways! your turn."

He pauses in thought. Hands tracing the part where your palms touched.

"... May I also borrow your face? I'd like to test something as well."

You shrug before putting your face out for him to take into his hands. It's fair. He did it and so should you.

Johan gently cups your face in his hand as well, handling it with a surprising softness and fragility. His hands aren't warm, and you'd make a remark about it and scold him for that, but you can feel the warmth slowly build up the longer he holds you.

You feel the faint movement of circles being drawn onto your cheek, probably his thumbs no doubt. It's almost... tender, which is weird, coming from a guy like... well, from a guy like Johan. But hey, if it feels nice and surprisingly soothing, who are you to complain? You'll enjoy the impromptu experience of what all those stray cats you see and pet on the street must feel.

You feel him him apply a bit more... pressure as he cups your face. Leading to you to be as curious as about your friend as he was with you a second ago.

"And what are you testing Johan Liebert?"

"Your endurance," he hums, "or, more accurately… your tolerance."

"Tolerance? My tolerance for wha-"

Suddenly you feel the pressure on your cheeks increase immensely. Making your face pucker like a fish for a moment. His thumbs also stop caressing gentle little circles and instead start digging into your skin as he pinches the skin of your face with the rest of his fingers. He shakes your head a bit almost tossing it side to side as he continues squeezing, and pinching, and prodding. You swear you can see him grinning slightly if your vision could actually clear up from having the skin around your eyes pulled taut into different places and having your head shaken like a goddamn snow globe—

"—Asshole!" you smack Johan's hands away, and soothingly rub the area on your cheeks where he pinched. Jesus is it your bloody pain tolerance he's trying to test!?

"Do I look like fucking play-dough to you!?"

"Maybe. You could have fooled me."

He lets out a small, soft, and a surprisingly rare chuckle while bringing a hand up to soothe the affected place as well (Which of course you don't trust. Swatting his hands away to protect your precious face from his aggression, which only makes him laugh a little more).

"After all, I was testing how much you'd tolerate more of that from me. Preferably in the near future"

[booasaur]

Any new upcoming series with w/w?

Lol, I had a whole answer typed up and almost completed last night, I could only remember a few upcoming shows but added a bunch of ongoing and recent with descriptions and then the post editor hiccuped and removed most of it so I angrily went to sleep instead.

But maybe that was for the best, because this morning a video of upcoming f/f shows in April came out so now I can add a few more.

There's Dead Ringers, that show with Rachel Weisz playing twin gynecologists and since it's a genderbent adaptation of an existing movie we already know it's gonna be super messy. It would be pretty wild for Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies to not have some wlw and luckily it does, the trailer itself reveals a couple. Tiny Beautiful Things, with Kathryn Hahn and Sarah Pidgeon (Leah in The Wilds) playing her younger self, apparently Kathryn Hahn's character's daughter is queer. Slip is a kinda scifi, where a bored wife cheats on her husband and realizes every time she has sex with someone, she wakes up married to them. The show's about her trying to get back to her original life, and there are a series of different husbands, but also a few wives (also, the first "replacement" husband is played by Boorman's actor from Willow!). There are also the upcoming Thai dramas Be Mine, Reverse 4 You, and 23.5, as previously mentioned.

In terms of returning series coming back, there's the Disney cartoon The Owl House, getting its final ep. Single Drunk Female's second season is returning soon. It has a bi lead, and she did have a female love interest but it was pretty temporary compared to the will they/won't she has with the main character male love interest. Her Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor, also a very main character, is a lesbian, and she's married but her wife's actress is a regular on another show now so I dunno if she'll be back.

Welcome to Eden, a Spanish thriller about people trapped on an island with a cult, ended the first season on a major cliffhanger so it'll be exciting to see what happens now, though it feels like anyone could die so that's a bit nerve-wracking. It has a lot of different kinds of rep, f/f, m/m, trans, one of the gay guys is deaf too and it's a plot point that his boyfriend won't learn sign even though his friends have.

The Epix series From is a pretty well done horror series about people trapped in a town and who get hunted at night, it's more ominous and suspenseful than outright gory. It actually has three wlw, though one is mostly with one guy, the one who's engaged to a woman outside the town seems to be about to start a romance with another guy, and one is a teen who's crushing on the first woman, feels unrequited. I didn't know about any of them when I started, so they're a bonus, the show itself is rather compelling.

As for current shows, The Power (lol, get it, current) started last night on Prime, it's nice that after the misreading of Class of '07, this new show about girls does immediately have a wlw. Gap's already finished but it made such a splash, if you haven't watched, I'll mention it again. The other Thai drama, Show Me Love, is still airing. Fantasy Island is honestly kind of sweet, it feels like one of those '90s shows, episodic, bright colors and optimism, and great guest stars. One of the two leads, I'd say, or at least the second billed main, is queer.

We got our three firefighter shows, 9-1-1 with a solid (now) established relationship, Fire Country, a lesbian character but not much screentime, and of course Station 19, which is honestly winning me back in a huge way with their current storyline (if they land it).

Cop wlw update (why are there so many of them!): NCIS Hawai'i remains super cute, especially when Lucy is on, looks like Ayanna on Law & Order: Organized Crime got herself a new gf with a super hot voice, The Rookie: Feds still has Niecy Nash playing a super likable and bi lead. I couldn't stand the egregious copaganda in FBI: Most Wanted, and like, imagine how bad it'd have to be, when I can still watch all the rest of these shows, but Sheryll's still there, so. Sin Huellas (No Traces) has already finished but gets another mention for being as funny as it was, with a cute, hot couple at the center. Rabbit Hole's just started, but the initial antagonist/probable grudging ally's an FBI lady who within the first 10 minutes of the first ep dropped that she had a wife. Van der Valk has started its third season and though I'm gonna keep hoping Lucienne's INCREDIBLY hot ex from 2x03 returns, Lucienne, second billed, is plenty hot by herself. Ariana Guerra, who played the novitiate in Helstrom, has joined the second season of CSI: Vegas. Her character's bi and has a main character boyfriend but he seems like he'll most likely end up with a different character.

I'm not really going through these in any particular order, except combining the above two types, but let me just blow through the rest of the ongoing shows: the Canadian family comedy Run the Burbs has been quite sweet in how it's written the teen daughter, How I Met Your Father comes across as an old fashioned sitcom, except one of the characters is a lesbian. It's kind of fun in its familiarity and low stakes. I didn't expect to be as drawn into The Watchful Eye as I did, the trailer felt quite soapy and it was, at times, but all the nannies were great, and I ended up quite liking the f/f side couple. It's amazing what actual personalities can do. :o A Million Little Things is winding down its final season and Grace Park's character is engaged to Cameron Esposito's character so it feels pretty endgame at this point.

If you didn't watch or stopped watching Carnival Row because the main m/f relationship seemed so especially trite, you maaaay want to give it another look. I'm not nearly caught up with Bel-Air, but in the first season they wrote Ashley's sexuality really well, especially since she's so young. I'm sure you can't have missed my Perry Mason gifsets by now, but I can only reiterate what a great character Della Street is. One of the kids in Gotham Knights is bi (and her brother is trans!) but I'm not sure it's worth getting invested before cancellation. Unless the CW is only going to keep projects involving the Supernatural trio?

At this point, hoping everyone who's into wlw has at least tried Yellowjackets or is aware enough of it to know they don't want to try it. Las Pelotaris 1926 is a Spanish language historical drama about female athletes playing--well, the sport is basque pelota but if you need a reference point, it's like squash or racquetball. If you haven't yet caught up with RWBY, now would be an okay time. Lastly, I've still never watched any of Riverdale or even Choni clips, but its final season has just started and you know, I gotta respect the longevity of whatever they've been doing with them, however up and down they seem to have been, and perhaps this final season will be an up. From what I've seen on SM, they seem to get endgame soulmatey treatment more than any of the other ships and I can respect that.

Aside from the Thai dramas that might air after April and a few of the other shows that ended their seasons in March (or February in Gap's case), all of these have eps airing this month. After this year of cancellations, I think it's worth enjoying what we can, even as we acknowledge how much lead/main character rep and longevity we're losing. :o

[arkus-rhapsode]

Fire Emblem and Aesthetics-A Mini Discussion

So for those who don't know, I don't really play Fire Emblem Heroes, but I still have an interest in seeing what units they release. Usually for fanfic purposes or just keeping track of new resplendent designs. But recently, FEH had an update for the original character of Dagr and it got me thinking about how resplendent from jotunheim look

Combined with FEH's ongoing storyline of taking from Norse mythology it really made me think-"Wait, why don't we have a Norse Fire Emblem game?"

Now look, I'm not here to bemoan that FEH don't have a console version, non gacha style game, but it really got me thinking about how we may be missing out on something relating to the use of a rich mythology and it only being in a mobile game more about collecting waifus and husbandos.

You see, Fire Emblem is no stranger to cribbing from existing mythologies like Norse in Genealogy, Arthurian myth and the matters of France in Elibe, and several characters just straight up being named after mythological/classic literature characters like Beowulf, Sampson, Priam etc. But its always done in this relatively Anglo-Saxon-British-French homogeny of aesthetics for their tales. So we can have a character named Sigurd, but he's not gonna look like he's fresh off the Viking Ship. Now Fire Emblem isn't the only franchise to do this, many pieces of media made by other countries draw upon these sort of exaggerated/romanticized look for fantasy stories all the time. And I want to be clear I am not advocating for "Medieval accuracy," I think that's silly. What I'm more getting at is I feel like FE could do with changing up its setting/aesthetics to perhaps inspire newer experiences.

Now I'm not saying FE as a franchise needs to be reinvented. In fact, I think FE has one of the most universal accessible mechanics in turn-based gaming. Simple to pick up, but still able to create many difficult maps and challenges. And by this point has made the support system one of the most iconic in gaming. But if the mechanics are good, doesn't that mean it could be transplanted into another setting? Well, In a way, yes. But once again, I'm not advocating for FE to stop being this fantasy style sword and sorcery story and become like the Napoleonic wars.

(That is a real Nintendo game by the way. Its wild!)

No what I'm saying is that the broad terms of "Middle Ages Warfare" is much more than simply a certain type Eurocentric fantasy.

I'll tell you what, as much as people like to rip on Birthright, I'm still shocked how it took so long for Fire Emblem to have a game where Japanese culture and aesthetics is super prominent and a main setting for a game. Fire Emblem tends to have one character who is obviously inspired by Japanese culture or even sometimes a single country. But a full blown game where so many characters come from and embrace this Japanese backdrop was unique.

Now of course it was still Birthright, so while you got these cool glimpses of a unique world and story like the Oni inspired Flame Tribe, the start of having a lot of retainers as main characters, the monk class and using fans as a weapons, and even roping in Kitsune. It still doesn't really do much than an average FE adventure with them. But it did at lease prove the the FE formula *could* still work removed from its conventional trappings.

Another in the different aesthetic, but missed opportunity category would be Fire Emblem Three Houses country of Almyra being pretty heavily inspired by Persian/Middle Eastern culture. A country that was gesturing so hard at an interesting idea that its left fan artist and fanfic writers to swoon over the idea of a possible FE game set in Almyra.

And if you want an even more recent example, for all the desert backdrops we've had in Fire Emblem, its kinda astounding it wasn't until Engage that we got a lightly (And admittedly exaggerated) African inspired country.

When I see stuff like this and what FEH is doing it makes me realize that we could be getting more. Im sure the next FE will likely still lean on its typical fantastical Anglo-Saxon look, but eventually there's got to be some spice to it. Sure it may be different, but Fire Emblem is a franchise that with each entry does try to be something different while maintaining certain core gameplay elements. So what is the harm of trying to approach something that looks a bit different?

Im not asking for an extreme change right away. Maybe start lighter. We have tons of pirates in Fire Emblem, why not a pirate/sea based game? We've even had the rare few pirate as a playable character. Its a type of story that could be told within the typical Fire Emblem world.

Then perhaps maybe something a bit more culturally ubiquitous like Greeco-Roman inspired FE? There's plenty of gods and magic, but also swords and spears to draw forth on. Heck, that may even open up new potential enemies or stories to tell with like an Evil Senate or a Gladiator culture. It could even push FE to maybe drop or reinvent certain tropes like how they approach the knighthood type of character where a certain culture's version of knight is different. Maybe even make new classes the way Birthright had to.

Overall, I think Fire Emblem is and always has been a malleable franchise. And because of that, I think it can afford to take certain risks on something as simple as drawing from another culture during the medieval magic era, while still being able to provide things that people still love about the franchise like the combat system and support system. Will there be push back on it looking different? Of course, I remember when Three Houses first teasers dropped and everyone was wondering what was up with the military school outfits and what even race was Claude. And of course a different aesthetic doesn't make the game automatically good. But let's remember, that people were judgmental of Birthright not because it went all in on looking Japanese, but because the general story and writing was lackluster for many.

But if you can make an interesting and likable cast of a characters that elevate the story, and make a memorable world for people to wage war in, I see no reason why you couldn't make Fire Emblem work set in the Netherlands.

If there is a personal aesthetic or theme you'd like to see Fire Emblem tackle, sound off in the replies. I'd love to hear what you guys think.

[devildevotee]

hello! we hope this is ok to ask, it's totally fine if you don't answer- but we've recently become interested in satanism and demon work, but we know exactly nothing about it or where to start. we did some basic research with academic sources like wikipedia but have no idea where to go from there. we're hesitant to just dive in on our own because we know there are a lot of bad sources and groups to avoid but don't actually know what those things are.

anyways, we trust your opinion and recommendations so we wanted to ask if you had any suggestions on how to go about researching and learning about theistic satanism for an absolute beginner! recommended books or articles, groups to avoid, red flags, anything like that would be very appreciated 💚 thank you so much!

okay so, this may be a controversial opinion but in my opinion (KEY WORD OPINION) you actually shouldn't only stick to unproblematic and valid uwu authors, because i'll be honest (in terms of satanism and demonolatry), there ARE no pure and good authors out there. every author out there, especially if you're reading a text from a long time ago, is going to have something you disagree with. you need to practice some form of critical engagement, additionally, because engaging with a text critically and understanding why it is wrong is way more important than just shutting out the information altogether. you will not learn anything if you pretend that problematic texts do not exist. i'm not saying this to be harsh, but there is a reason we research a variety of texts and perspectives in high school english class. you need to continue that kind of method when researching anything.

now that is covered, i'll tell you what i have read personally. taking the above into consideration, there are no authors here that don't have something deeply wrong about their texts. i did read their works, and i came to my own conclusions on whether i'm going to dub them an authority on satanism, and i suggest you do the same. satanism is about knowledge and drawing your own, unique conclusions. just make sure what you do adopt doesn't throw any groups of people under the bus, because we're not here to read books and thoughtlessly believe whatever the book says, especially when the book can have misinformation, or offensive content. this is very common in satanism; as much as people love to treat it like it's revolutionary and all-accepting, it can be just as, or even more, discriminatory or outright hateful as christianity, especially in the texts.

the most easy-to-find material:

ars goetia > pretty basic info, but very handy and simple to read

the infernal gospel > probably my favourite book on this list

the complete book of demonolatry > i don't agree with the author, but i got this one in my early days before i knew anything about said author. it's got some useful information, but there's a lot of misinfo

book of the fallen > useful rituals if i remember correctly, i sold this book so i can't recheck

at satan's altar > also an interesting book

the goetia devils > has a lot of what i assume is upg... seems to conflict with what i've seen from other practitioners

the goetic hymns > second favourite book

the satanic philosopher > i found this one hard to read personally

esoterica > youtube channel with amazing information on demonolatry and its history, i suggest getting into this before doing anything else.

all of these websites.

and lastly, i also got like 50+ older texts i got as a bundle off etsy that i can't remember the names of. i wish i could give them to you, but i genuinely have lost every single text i got in the bundle due to me changing computers. i suggest looking on etsy for similar bundles on satanism and demonolatry if you want to get into the historical meat of things.

that being said, my actual last thing i want to say is not to get too entrenched into the theory. the texts are handy, sure! but the one thing i have found the most useful is by engaging with the community. most of my wealth of knowledge did NOT come from texts or media, it came from those around me talking about their experiences. if you want to learn, and i mean REALLY learn about demons and satan, get into the community hardcore and you will learn something new every day. talk to people, make friends, don't do this alone.

edit: okay one more thing. this does go against what i was saying to some degree but i do have a limit to that logic. avoid joy of satan. they're n/eonazis and come on this website regularly. avoid them, avoid them, avoid them.

[mobumi]

Spring 2024 Anime watchlist

1. Yatagarasu: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master

I've watched all 4 episodes and it's brilliant so far! I didn't expect to like it this much. I saw the trailer a while ago and I was immediately intrigued so i waited for this to come out. I wasn't disapointed in the slightest! I'm not too keen on period drama usually, but this one is so captivating.

2. Bartender: Glass of God

A big surprise. Didn't expect much other than a slice of life about a bartender, but it has actually a very interesting plot and it's so so good! I'm on episode 4, very excited for the rest of the series!!

3. WIND BREAKER

I'm definitely biased with this one because i read the manga and i got very attached to its characters! At first i wasn't so sure, the manga didn't interest me much, but i bought the first volume to give it a try and it was better than i expected. Since it's not something i'm usually attracted to, it kinda has been my guilty pleasure ever since. The anime did it justice so far so i can't wait to see more of it adapted.

4. Oblivion Battery

I'm a huge fan of sports anime, especially when it involves baseball (i love Ace of Diamond, Ookiku Furikabutte and One Outs, to name a few) so this anime was one of my most anticipated! Well, after watching all 3 episodes, i think not everyone will be into the humor and i saw some people saying they disliked Kei, but i just love it? It's hilarious and really entertaining, there's so much potential with this show, i can't wait to see more!

5. Kaiju No. 8

Well, it's a big budget "mainstream" anime, of course it will get my attention like everyone else, but it's mostly beacuse i read the first volume of the manga that i was interested to see the anime. It's fun, the classic shonen formula, no suprises here, but i enjoyed it i guess...

6. Tadaima, Okaeri

Cute anime, though i'm not a big fan of omegaverse, it's nice to watch. I needed at least one slice of life in my list and this one was the perfect addition! I like it, it's different and sweet. Nothing extraordinary, but definitely worth a watch.

7. Viral Hit

I'm watching it, but i don't know what to think about it... It's not bad, but it's a little bit weird and ridiculous. It's kinda similar to Weak Hero Class 1 and has many themes used before in the manhwa genre, though i think it delivered what it was meant to do. I'll give it a couple more episodes to be fully engaged.

8. Demon Slayer: Hashira Training Arc

It's not out yet, but I watched the first episode at the movie theater (it was a special release in France) like two months ago i think? It wasn't enough and nothing really happened in this episode so i'm waiting to see more once it comes out!

9. Go! Go! Loser Ranger!

I've only seen one episode. It's a new concept for me, it got my attention, but the first episode bored me a little. Maybe i wasn't really in the mood. I'll watch a second episode to form a better opinion! The concept is interesting!

Anime still airing that I'm watching:

Dungeon Meshi

I'm in love with this anime to be honest! I wasn't really sure at first because i'm not into fantasy anime, but i was truly impressed by the storytelling and the characters' journey. Definitely a must watch!

Ninja Kamui

I enjoy watching this anime, but i have to admit that they lost me with the mecha stuff. I'm still going to watch it though, and i'll totally finish it when i can. It's over next week so i'm going to watch all the remaining episodes that i still haven't watched yet.

Anime that I still have yet to start:

Black Butler: Public School Arc

The Many Sides of Voice Actor Radio

GIRLS BAND CRY

Whisper Me a Love Song

[unpopularwriter25]

I seen your doing matchups! I've never done one so I'll put in a request. Also I'm late teens and straight Looks : around 5'0, hourglass and curvy. I have light brown hair with various shades of light brown and blonde. My hair reaches mid butt length and I have curtain bangs that never co-operate 😭. I have light green eyes and thick(ish) brows. I'm naturally pale but I fake tan and I have freckles on my face and body and moles on my neck, hip and chest. I get told I look like a cat alot. I have long nails aswell because they grow super fast

Personality: I am extremely extroverted once I warm up to a person/situation. Like if I change classes and I see someone I know I will instantly be bubbly but not the other way around, however I am not closed off, I just dont like making the first move. I swear alot and I would say I have a very cringe and chronically online humor (it's on purpose I swear 😭🤓) and I dont like being told what to do by people. I have a very even temper, it takes alot to anger or sadden me but not alot to make me laugh. I am also flirty and I LOVE teasing and annoying people. School: I have very good grades in school, apart from maths, and I usually get somewhere at the top of the class. All the teachers love me (even though I'm a little shit). However I am notoriously late despite living around the corner so I'm always doing an hour after school. Likes/Dislikes : I really enjoy being in nature and interacting with animals. I did my work experience on a farm and loved it. When I'm older, I want to be a wildlife conservationist. I also really like watching reality tv show like real housewives, big brother, dance moms etc and I really enjoy cooking I dislike people who lack basic manners. Like what happened to a simple 'please' or 'thank you'? I feel like its rlly embarrassing for them and their family, like were you raised in a barn?? Thank you in advance!!

Hi!! Sorry this took me a minute to get to!! I hope you enjoy!!

I ship you with Mitsuri Kanroji!!

Mitsuri is known for her emotional strength and positive outlook, which aligns well with your even temper and high threshold for anger and sadness. Both of you can handle challenges with grace and resilience.

Mitsuri has a playful and somewhat flirtatious demeanor, similar to your flirty and teasing personality. You both enjoy making others smile and have a light-hearted approach to life, making interactions fun and engaging.

Despite her bubbly nature, Mitsuri is very dedicated and responsible as a Demon Slayer, much like how you manage to get good grades and be liked by teachers despite being a bit mischievous. Both of you balance fun with a strong sense of duty.

While the series doesn't deeply explore Mitsuri’s relationship with animals, her kind and nurturing personality suggests she would share your love for animals and nature. Your desire to be a wildlife conservationist would likely resonate with her caring disposition.

Your long nails and Mitsuri's long, distinctive hair show a shared appreciation for unique and eye-catching physical traits. Both of you take pride in your appearances in your own ways

Mitsuri is very sociable and quickly forms strong bonds with her fellow Demon Slayers. Your extroverted nature, once warmed up, means you would likely thrive in similar social settings, making friends and allies easily.

Mitsuri has a hearty appetite and enjoys food, which would complement your interest in cooking. You could enjoy preparing meals together and exploring new recipes, enhancing your bond through shared culinary experiences.

Both you and Mitsuri value kindness and manners, disliking rudeness and disrespect. This shared value system would create a harmonious relationship, with both of you emphasizing respect and politeness in your interactions with others.

Your chronically online and purposely cringe humor would likely amuse Mitsuri, who has a cheerful and open-minded personality. She would appreciate your unique sense of humor and join in on the fun, creating a light-hearted and joyful atmosphere.

While there's no direct mention of Mitsuri's punctuality in the series, her compassionate and understanding nature suggests she would be forgiving and supportive regarding your tendency to be late, finding ways to help you manage time without being judgmental.

[phoebe-delia]

17!

Love,

❤️ The Drarry Librarian ❤️

OH MY GOODNESS I'M FANGIRLING SO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!! HELLO DRARRY LIBRARIAN!!!! I promise I'll answer the question but seriously I want to say thank you so so so much for all you do. You are one of the backbones of this fandom, truly.

*clears throat* Anyway.

17. What Hogwarts subject would you teach?

I would teach History of Magic but I'd try to make it fun!! I think history can be really fun and interesting when you use it as a means to better understand the present and see if you can prevent the same bad things from happening again. I think the Wizarding World could really really REALLY use a look back at its history since they have such a tendency to repeat it.

I think it's a shame that Binns is such a boring teacher, because the generations he taught sure could've benefitted from learning a lot about the first war, and relations between Muggles and Wixen, and all of that. And maybe a better understanding of—I dunno—the history of magic could've helped someone like Draco who was probably spoon-fed propaganda as a child. Or even fuckin Voldemort!! Whom Binns TAUGHT.

And don't just teach the nuts and bolts! Have conversations! Talk about systemic oppression and bigotry, and how they influence modern society! History isn't just memorizing dates; it's a comprehensive understanding of the story of humanity.

Yeesh, sorry I really just went on a little rant there LOL this just never occurred to me before about Binns/why students might not have really learned from him. Of course, Binns is not really to blame for all of this, like he obviously didn't do it on purpose. But I think it's sad that no one thought, "Huh, maybe we should get someone to teach this class who can generally keep students engaged or—at the very least—awake through lessons. We should make sure students have a better understanding of our history so this doesn't happen again because of misinformation and ignorance."

Good thing this is just a fictional problem!! Right guys? Right???

......Soooo yeah to answer your question I'd teach History of Magic 😂 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!!!

Send me an ask about HP things!

[clockwise-works]

🔥, ❓: how did legend of Zelda and/or rather the community changed ur life

🔥 What’s your favorite part of Zelda games? (Adventuring, Characters, Dungeons, Combat, etc.)

hmmm, this is a little tricky to answer. Since I've only made it through the Wild Trilogy (And AoC is already a very different game style from the others) I'm well aware that BotW and TotK are very different from the other games in the series in a gameplay sense. However, the one thing I think all the Zelda games share between each other, at least for the 3D installments, are the world building and emotion, which is what made it stand out to me compared to other really fun Nintendo developed games. Like, Mario is really fun and genius in how its designed for the most part. But Zelda? It's got that, sure, but it's also got the heart. You have OoT Link's story where yes, he does save the day, but no one can remember him, leading to him losing every person he cares for. He can't really return home because he's not a Kokori. He loses Navi, a close companion. All the connections he made, were sacrificed for the greater good. And this all leads to him becoming the Hero's Shade, a genuinely sad story where this once hero is now a forgotten soul, yet there is some heart there too. He's given the chance to train his successor, TP Link, to pass down his techniques to ensure Hyrule continues to thrive. TP itself has the whole growing bond between Midna and Link, and so when the two must seal off their worlds from one another, it's no doubt saddening. BotW, the one I'm most familiar with, has this in spades as well. The world is nearly a wasteland, with destroyed villages lost to time. Most of Link and Zelda's friends, their loved ones, are killed. And yet, hope shines through in the end, there is still a beauty to be found in this world.

And I think that's what I look for in a Zelda game. I know the gameplay will be fun, even if it varies from title to title, I know most of the stories will be engaging and well written (...TotK), I know the music and the characters will be great, I know all of that. But I expect that from most games now. Nintendo, for the most part (...TotK) know how to make games. But what makes Zelda unique compared to Mario, to Kirby, to Donkey Kong, is the emotion and heart.

❓how did legend of Zelda and/or rather the community changed your life?

Now THIS is a really interesting question! There's... actually a good amount to say, too, so I'll try to go through them one by one.

This is gonna be a weird one to explain, but Zelda... made me care for romance and love in media. Funny, I know, but hear me out. I guess this is a result of growing up in the late 2000's/early 2010's, where pretty much every action, comedy, superhero movie, etc, has a forced and contrived romance storyline, but I never cared for love in my youth. I was a kid, and I wanted to watch action and comedy, so when watching that and seeing these bland love stories where the lead guy and girl end up together because reasons, it made me just not want to see it at all. And this caried with me for many years, up until roughly 2022.

In 2022, I graduated from High School, and with this being in the middle of Covid, where 2 and a half years of my high school years were spent in online classes, disconnected from the rest of my peers, ... wasn't doing the best, mentally. So, I started playing games that I knew for years I would love but didn't have the time or proper headspace to truly appreciate it. I started with GoW 2018, and my god was that game amazing! The gameplay was excellent, the story was masterfully written, and oh my god the beauty of that game. No "pause the gameplay" load screens, no cuts in shots, just one long take for the ENTIRE journey. The game was amazing... but really got me was the story between Kratos and Faye. It, just like the story, was beautifully written, and was the first time I ever truly cared for a love story. I loved the way Kratos and Atreus were broken by her death, how they proccessed their respective traumas, and learned to understand one another and grew closer. I loved how the whole story was essentially a trip to spread her ashes at the tip of all the realms, how far Kratos would go to do good by his wife. I... liked a love story? Weird. (I swear this is important)

I think this is why Miphlink had such an impact on me. Right after GoW, I jumped straight into BotW, and I so much fun! The world was so well designed, I had an insane amount of fun and entertainment just running around in the world, seeing what I could do. During the summer after each day of work, I'd grab my switch, and just have fun for a few hours. This continued for about a week, maybe two, but while the game was fun, it hadn't exactly hooked me. I loved running around, exploring, fighting, puzzles, all that! ...But, I had little incentive to do the story quests. In my mind, that was kinda like going to the Nether and the End in Minecraft. It signaled the end of the game, and I didn't want that. But after two-ish weeks, I eventually decided to make my way to Kakariko, in which I was then directed to go to one of the main four Divine Beasts.

I saw that there was one relatively close to Kakariko, so I was off! It took some time, and after getting frustrated during the Zora River pathway to the Domain by all the enemies and putting the game down for two days, I finally made it to Zora's Domain! And... hey, wait a moment. This guy... knows me. Whoa... so does this guy. And he... blames me? For all of this? Weird. I run around, talk to some people, see a cool statue, and then make my way to the throne room. And then it happens.

I'm told all about Mipha, how the Zora are long lived and how Link had an impact on the Domain 100 years prior, I go through it all. And then the memory plays, my very first memory in fact. And it all clicks. The framing of the memory, the music, her voice acting, knowing that she had loved Link, enough to make an armor, and now was most likely dead, leaving her people to mourn her, broke me. In that moment, the game changed. It had hooked me. It was no longer just a fun sandbox to run in, it became a world I cared for, one I wanted to see safe, to see better. BotW doesn't exactly have a gripping narrative or anything, but the worldbuilding and tone were brilliant. The whole Domain arc was the peak for me, and Mipha's death, her impact on the whole Domain, how Link had specific dialogue options showing he mourned her too now, how they allude that he cared for her a good amount, hit me like a truck. That was now twice, back-to-back, where I played a game following a man with a dead wife/potential fiancé, learning to see the beauty in the world. I grew to love, well, love in stories. I wanted to see the Champions, to see Mipha, her family, all of them, happy. And part of her happiness... was Link. She loved him, and I believed Link loved, loves her too. So, I wanted that, I found myself WANTING stories of the two together. I wanted art showing them before the Calamity, when they were at their most happy and comfortable. And then, I found myself in the community.

I had never been part of a "community" before. Never. Honestly, I was afraid to be one. I've seen how toxic communities can be, the discourse, the debates, the hot takes, all that. I grew up a Sonic fan, we didn't exactly have the best reputation. So... I was afraid to "join the Miphlink" community, in a sense. I wouldn't say I'm all that involved in the Zelda Community, to be honest. I haven't played many of the games, and I only really engage with the Miphlink shipping side. It's a subsection, I guess. But shadow following-then-joining the Miphlink community was probably one of the best things to happen to me. I don't think it couldn't have been a better community, truth be told.

In my time here, I have begun to share my own art and writing, for the first time at the good ol' age of 19. I'v been drawing for years, but never had the confidence to put it online. And then, after joining the Miphlink discord server and essentially getting a "oh my god so many of the writers and artists I love are here" high, I drew my first ever piece of Zelda Fanart.

And it was... not good 💀. I plan to redraw it as a one-year blog post, but regardless. This was a post I was in the moment happy with, but quickly grew disappointed. And then, people liked it. They left nice things in the reblogs, I shared it in the server and all those people I respected immensely, artists who are leagues better than me in every way, writers who painted beautiful scenes with just their words, left some of the nicest compliments about it. And that gave me a newfound confidence. I started drawing a lot more after a near two-year break, to the point I can see a real improvement over the course of these last few months. I've made incredible connections with so many of these insanely talented and nice people in the community, who all have had a genuinely positive impact on my life. I know no fandom is perfect, I know there are people in the Miphlink community who "give it a bad name", but all the people I've engaged with, who have engaged with my stuff in return and have helped with art/writing tips, good conversations, ideas and jokes, have made this one hell of a year.

I guess this was a little all over the place. But mainly, playing BotW had led me to better understand love and emotion in storytelling and how to appreciate it, and joining the Miphlink community has given me the courage to share my works online and gave me the opportunity to improve my craft. Ya'll are incredible, I don't think I say it enough.

[naturalbornlosers]

actually. i dont normally get this personal so i might delete this later but geez i need somewhere to put this or i'll go insane.

we lost my grandfather a year ago and Christmas has sucked ass this year. i'm overstimulated and exhausted. my family doesn't even try to connect with me. it's like i dont fucking exist anymore to them except as a problem-solver ("can you help me find xyz?") or a piece of furniture or someone to dictate later plans to or a fucking memory pad ("don't let me forget,") or a problem. we try to eat dinner together and i dont open my mouth a moment in the conversation bc there's no opening for me, there's no topic i can contribute to, no one even tries to include me, and the only time i'm spoken to is to tell me plans we're doing later. i wanna make something with my family and it gets brushed off. i wanna do something, it gets brushed off. i bought us a game to play and we're taking it down when we take my grandmother back home bc no one could be assed to remember to play it even though i made sure it appealed to all of our interests.

my mom made a joke about "oh we're just giving you money because we have no idea what you want haha!" and while yeah, i am grateful for the money, it fucking SUCKS that every time ive talked to her about my interests - about our shared interests and hobbies, too - it sounds like it's gone in one ear and right out the other!! i've shown her in person things i would like to eventually get in the future, all year. and it's like… none of it matters. no one tries. no one tries when it's me, but everyone else gets thoughtful things and i'm even still planning to get more things for my mom and my grandmother. no one tries to engage with my interests. my interests actually get made fun of here and there or outright dismissed ("i'm sure [person] doesn't wanna hear about xyz" is said often when im infodumping) and everything i like is trivial. everything i like is fodder to be mocked by my moms husband and just goes in one ear out the other with my mom and my grandmother has no idea what to do with my interests.

and, fuck, now my family doesnt believe i have endometriosis or pcos bc my ultrasound came back fine even though i explained to them repeatedly that it may not show up on an ultrasound. they dont want me to get a second opinion. they dont think its worth it, trying to find out why im in so much pain i miss class/life events and why im so sick and fatigued every month i cant leave the house sometimes. i just sit around like a decoration. i get teased for being on my phone. i get teased for not eating the same things everyone else does. and to top it all off, my moms husband vaguely threatened me tonight in front of everyone and no one did a fucking thing. no one even acknowledged that he just flat out went "dont do xyz, if you do xyz, there's gonna be a problem" in a very clear manner of 'you are going to be in deep shit'. which is fucking tiresome bc he tried to kick me out three separate times in 2020. once bc my bathroom wasn't tidy enough (just a bit cluttered, but i dont have much counter space, so naturally it was cluttered), once bc he wanted to turn my bedroom into storage and have me move into the attic spare room, and once bc "this is my castle and i am the king and if you don't like it you can leave". this was during a time i had no friends irl, no bank account, couldn't drive, no job, nobody around i could go to… he knew full well he could just toss me out and no one would say a fucking word.

i'm learning how to drive. and then i'll get a job. and then i'll move out. and then i'll put this shit behind me. but i fucking hate being in a room full of my family and feeling like none of them know me. that i'm entirely alone. that i don't fucking exist and everything i am is trivial and doesn't matter. if i make plans, there's a high chance they wont happen or will get changed last minute and then i get mocked for being upset about it like i'm a child who doesn't get how the world works. i'm twenty four. i'm young for sure, but fucking hell, i'm not six.

i just don't wanna be here. i'm gonna keep on keepin' on. but i want things to change for the better and i know they wont until i move out. i just don't believe i will actually, ever, leave this house. ughh. i'll survive but holy shit i'm gonna be screaming the entire time.