#in character Dax would be happy

[buster-loves-pr]

I just wanted to share this Pic of Gareth

[subatoism]

DS9 Characters as Things my Father Has Said

Sisko: [regarding whether or not his wife would ever cheat on him] I do not fear the mailman.

Kira: Stronger memories than this have turned out to be dead people.

Dax: Alright, have fun being naked!

Bashir: Talking to you doesn’t make me feel… good… about myself. I like to think I’m a little smarter than everyone else, but you won’t let me.

O’Brien: I was on the verge of not being confused for a second there, but you saved me.

Worf: [utterly deadpan] I just choose to be happy and I really, really am.

Odo: He is, metaphorically, a dearth of mentally ill teenage girls.

Garak: Three friendship bracelets? Isn’t that a little ambitious?

Quark: He has literally gone to a better place… Hawaii.

Nog: That small boy was just pwned by a gentle slope.

[playing-with-dax]

Hm. Would your characters ever cover up a bite/hickey they got from their lover? Also, how would they react to a lover trying to cover up a hickey or the hickey fading? -hickey anon (I was bored and wanted to see you in my notifs again so hi!)

Everyone is happy to see their partners left with evidence of their fun 😉

Who wouldn't want to show it off?

None of them would try to cover a mark they received themselves, but Dax would be very flustered to realize a stranger could see it 😊 Verik and Shallow would just be like "...Yes? And?" lol

[vasquez-rocks]

in the spirit of "o'brien doesn't actually suffer the most, it's just that all his suffering takes place in special Suffering Episodes": a complete ranking of ds9 characters by how much they suffer

(including recurring guest stars but not villains. i don't care how much gul dukat suffers. he could get hit by a fucking bus for all i care!!) 1. kira nerys. undefeated galactic suffering champion. literally goes back in time to find out if her mom died in a concentration camp when she was a small child like she thought and somehow the answer she gets is, to her, EVEN WORSE THAN THAT. o'brien could never.

2. odo. lab experiment childhood, spends 5 seasons pining tragically for the station’s most eligible terrorist, seeks his family only to find out they're genocidal maniacs, every small innocent being he tries to parent either dies or runs away, he has to return to said family to end a war! odo suffers so much actually??

3. benjamin sisko. loses his wife, becomes an unwilling messiah, forced to leave his family (the most important thing), etc.

4. miles o'brien. ok fine sure he does suffer a lot. not like kira does tho!!

5. garak. most of his suffering is pre-show but that suffering is BAROQUE. and then daddy never tells him he loves him and he indirectly causes his mother’s death

6. nog. after 6 seasons of minimal suffering, our baby boy suffers a LOT

7. jake sisko. not counting "the visitor" (it was a different timeline!). if the show put Jake through any additional suffering, i would wail and cry. His primary sufferings are pre-show (mom's death) and end-of-show (dad is gone and can't say when he'll return), but they are significant. at least he has, and loves, a wonderful stepmom!

8. kassidy yates. SPEAKING OF. her primary suffering is going to jail for the standard federation prison sentence (6 months, which is also what garak got for attempted genocide!!!!!), but then also losing her beloved husband to the celestial temple like almost immediately after, which is kind of a lot

9. keiko o'brien. a lot of miles’ suffering is hers also, and also she gets possessed by a demon after spending the first few seasons trying to find a new fulfilling job despite her husband moving her, a botanist, to a barren space station on which all life withers

10. jadzia dax. happy-go-lucky sex worm who has never experienced a "problem" until gul dukat throws a death basketball at her at age 35, so idk it evens out

11. julian bashir. gets kidnapped a lot and has a backstory so angsty that it's hard to tell whether he's even technically the same person he once was. HOWEVER, he's a goofy lil sexual harasser which makes it very easy to overlook his suffering!

12. worf. virtually all of his suffering is his own fault and he universally responds to it by creating more suffering for his own perverse ends. however, he does get disgraced from his people (his fault), lose his wife (not his fault but also why was she the only person left on the station when she literally FLIES THE SHIP most of the time??), and refuses to ever have fun (his fault)

13. leeta. perky and happy. in a great marriage. loves her stepson! unionized her workplace! however she is not at the bottom of this list because she is (a) a child of the occupation and (b) has to put up with fuckin quark

14. ezri dax. contrary to her frequently expressed beliefs, many things are easy for ezri

15. quark. when he suffers it's hijinks

16. rom. rom's character development is entirely positive. he goes from being the put upon idiot brother to the self-actualized leader of his people who has a son who loves him and a beautiful wife. the worst thing that happens to him specifically is probably when he masturbates so hard he almost dies and even then the result is he becomes a hero to labor in both his world and ours. things go ludicrously well for him at every turn. he is the winner of ds9

[worflesbian]

happy birthday!! if you could choose one star trek character to party with who would it be?

aaaaaa thanks mate!!! i'm gonna answer this in such detail here goes:

if i'm going to the club, i'm bringing jadzia. no explanation needed

house party i'm bringing late-seasons jake sisko bc 90% of the time at house parties i end up in the kitchen loudly debating literature

girl's night i'm bringing deanna troi. again i feel no explanation is needed

potluck dinner party it's benjamin sisko not Just for his cooking but because i feel like he'd bring great conversation to that kind of informal gathering like he could explain some bajoran history and talk us through his collection of african masks and inevitably we would get onto the topic of baseball

formal dinner party i'm bringing tuvok, especially a formal dinner party with people i dont like bc i feel like no one's gonna be better at subtle digs and bitchy comments and insulting the hosts cooking in a way they cant actually call out

small gathering with friends i honestly kind of want to bring ezri dax cause she really would fit the vibe of mentally ill people in their early 20s

[writergeekrhw]

Hi, longtime fan! I just found your blog on tumblr. I am watching ds9 with my wife for the first time. As queer non binary folks, we get a lot out of Dax's representation and storyline. As well as the general queer nature of the show. Did any of this come to mind while the show was being produced? Ds9 always came off as a more queer-friendly star trek show than some of the others. That might just be my perception/bias though.

I'm glad you and your wife are enjoying the show. If you've gotten to "Rejoined" yet, I think you can see that we definitely thought of Dax as queer. To be honest though, I don't think we were fully aware of the impact the character would have on the queer and especially trans community. It's been gratifying over the years to see how positively she's been received.

I do think we tried to push the limits of queer representation in the show, as best we could given the times and the comfort level of the people who paid the bills. Ira has said he wishes we'd done more, that we could've pushed even harder, and maybe that's true. But it's good to hear our efforts resonate for you even 30 years later.

Thanks for watching and Happy Pride Month!

[skellymom]

"Return to Pabu" Part 2

The Bad Batch CROSSHAIR Fan Fic

Companion piece to "Cup Of Caf"

To read "Return to Pabu" Part 1

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/740375615328354305/return-to-pabu-part-1?source=share

Background: The Batch returns to Pabu with Crosshair in tow. How will he adapt? What will life look like for the other Batchers as they settle into civilian life?

The reader (main character) from Cup Of Caf is mentioned. This story is from the point of view of The Batch and Crosshair.

My OC Maadienne "Mad Momma" Dax makes an appearance as Hunter's love interest. Since this story takes place in an alternate universe from "Vagabonds", Love, Sil, and Tiggy do not make an appearance.

(I started this fic BEFORE S3, so Tech lives, Crosshair still has his hand, Pabu was never attacked...and, sorry, no Batcher.)

Word Count: 1.5K

Warning: None. Angst, sadness, fluff, some alcohol use, babies. Affection and types of romantic relationships other than Cishet.

Lovely dividers by the talented @saradika

The next morning Crosshair was gone, his bed empty. Hunter, terrified of losing Cross again, was about to track him down. Echo intervened. 

“He’ll come back. Just needs time to sort out his thoughts...alone.” 

Hunter nodded and proceeded to Omega’s room. She was gone. He had forgotten she slept over at Lyana’s house. Wrecker spent the night with Shep. 

Mad emerged from their bedroom dressed and planted a kiss on Hunter’s cheek. 

“Bye Hunky.” 

Hunter mildly panicked “Wait. Where are you going?” 

“Phee and I are spending the day doing ‘Woman Stuff’. Probably don’t remember, you seemed pretty drunk last night.” 

She stopped, looked at Echo then Hunter. “What’s the matter? Lookin’ sad there Handsome.” 

“Oh...uh...nothing.” 

“He’s sad because his squad up and left him.” 

“Now Echo...” 

“It’s strange not being totally in charge, huh? Gives you lots of time to do other things?” 

Hunter was silent, still sulking. 

Mad’s heart went out to him. “You want me to stay home with you today?” 

Hunter gave her puppy dog eyes. 

“Use your words, Hunky. What’s your head say versus you heart?” 

Hunter scowled. “Both say words are hard.” 

Echo chuckled. “Run away Mad, I’ve got him. Go have fun with Phee.” 

Mad smiled, hugged Hunter who took in her scent, and squeezed back. 

“You can’t ever leave Echo. This man needs you as an emotional interpreter.” 

She kissed Hunter then pecked Echo on the cheek before dashing out the door. “THANKS!” 

Both stood there red-faced grinning. 

“I LOVE that woman.” Hunter beamed. 

Echo clapped Hunter on the back. “C’mon, let’s go sneak Tech some caf at the Med Ward.” 

And so, the weeks passed by with Crosshair disappearing all morning, finally returning by afternoon. No idea where he went. The Batch didn’t ask at first. Omega had theories, which she shared with her brothers, Mad and Phee.  

Then the rumors started around the island: The local potter, usually rather withdrawn, was making the rounds around the island. Purchasing food for “The Grumpy Man.” Rumors were confirmed as the skinny bald sniper started filling out. His skin and hair becoming healthy and lustrous.  

Omega set out to start learning how to cook, roping Wrecker in as her sidekick. They packed up meals for Crosshair, insisting he share the food with his new friend. At first, he scoffed, then relented. Eventually Cross slowly started inserting himself into the evening cooking sessions in The Batcher House. 

Crosshair would imbibe in drink and eventually loosen up...for his standards. Sharing small bits and pieces of his experiences while away from the Batch. But nothing TOO deep. Cross was always content to watch the antics of his very happy family. 

Wrecker and Shep would bring in the catch of the day. Then sit and drink, sharing loving touches and sweet glances at one another. They announced their engagement and planned to wed soon. The whole island was invited to the ceremony and reception. They coordinated with Echo on refreshments and Wrecker planned the menu, wanting to cook for his own wedding reception...with Omega’s help, of course. 

Echo, in charge of refreshments, would open a bottle of Spotchka or throw together a Fuzzy Bantha or some other cocktail. Tech had built Echo a mechanical hand that could be switched out with his scomp. From that point on, Echo was the official Batcher Bartender. It wasn’t just throwing together a drink, it was a SHOW! He tossed bottles in the air, catching them, pouring with finesse, lighting the brightly colored alcohol on fire (for Wrecker especially), adding exotic ingredients that Tech helped suggest for certain palates, some of which Phee brought back from her travels.  

On the crazier nights, Echo would toss bottles and Wrecker cooking implements in unison while Mad and Phee sang and Shep hammered percussion on the wooden table with his large hands. Hunter would get up from the table to dance, dragging Crosshair with him. The competition was fierce as both men had an intense “Dance Off” to one up each other.   

Tech was learning the fine art of highbrow humor, especially after one (or several) of Echo’s cocktails. He and Phee would have constant banter at the table. They were hysterically funny when Tech reached the confused slurry speech stage. Phee enjoyed playfully teasing him while he rambled on, index finger raised...then trailing off as he had lost his train of thought. She’d gently slip her hand into his raised one and caress it. Tech would blush red(der) and smile. 

Hunter and Mad sat leaning against each other, shoulder to thigh. Basking in love, occasionally whispering something into each other’s ear. Things that brought their own blush and smile. They shared a secret...eventually requesting Echo make her drinks sans alcohol. Hunter instructed Echo to add Mad’s to his drink, making it a double. By the end of the night Tech and Hunter would carry on a drunken conversation that NOBODY understood except the two of them. Everyone would get hugs though. Even Tech would embrace the guests before everyone left...as Phee eventually escorted him to the sofa. Hunter never made it that far, choosing the comfort of the floor. Wrecker tucked Lula under his head, before leaving to spend the night at Shep’s place. 

Echo would help Mad and Phee clean up, then hug Omega goodnight. He would awaken early like clockwork the next morning, brewing caf in the kitchen. Echo and Crosshair would nod to each other, as Echo slid the packaged food across the kitchen island to him. Then smile as Cross quietly left the house. Afterwards Echo nudged Tech and Hunter awake to start the day. 

Dinner came and went. The Batchers kept their drinking to a minimum tonight. Everyone just wanted a quiet evening. Hunter and Tech wanted to sleep in an actual bed again. Mad and Phee WANTED THEM to sleep in an actual bed again. 

Besides, Hunter and Mad had an announcement to make: Mad was expecting. While everyone was beyond happy and joyful, it was no surprise. A definite event to celebrate. Wrecker brought a cake to the table and Hunter handed Mad his vibroknife to cut it.  

“Uh...we don’t have something maybe...CLEANER to use?” 

“Made sure to wipe it down properly.” 

“Let me guess...this has some kind of significance, yeah?” Mad cocked an eye at Hunter. 

“Well, I WILL be using this knife...MY knife to cut our child’s umbilical cord.” 

“WHAT???” Mad frantically searching Hunters stone cold expression for any trace of total BS. 

“I’ll wipe the blade down properly beforehand. Especially if it’s a C-section.” 

“HUNTER, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMNED MIND???” 

Hunter’s face was dead serious...until everyone at the table burst out laughing. Then he winked at Mad. 

"Kriff! Thought the booze pickled your brain!!!” 

Hunter gently took the knife from Mad, flipped it back and forth expertly one handed and slid it back into its sheath. Suddenly, he knelt down beside her on one knee. The laughter in the room died down to total silence. Mad could see from everyone’s face this was spontaneous and unexpected. 

“Mad” Hunter took both of her hands in his.  

He cleared his throat. Hunter’s expression was mixed: Intensely passionate but nervous. He was out of his element and not used to doing this sort of thing in front of others. 

“Ah...As you know, I’m not the kind of guy whose all about grand public gestures...but I was struck in the moment to tell you...in front of the most important group of people in my life to the most important individual who is carrying my child...that I LOVE YOU intensely with my VERY BEING.”  

Mad slightly cocked her head and gave him her veiled sassy “No duh, Hunky” expression. Hunter almost broke out in nervous laughter but caught himself. Clearing his throat again, he leaned in slightly. Mad got serious and mirrored this gesture. They were close enough to intensely look into each other's eyes and focus on one another. The rest of the room seemed to fall away into the distant background and disappear. Just two people declaring to each other their deepest desires. 

Hunter continued. “I know we didn’t plan for this to happen.” He lovingly stroked her belly. Mad squeezed his hand. “I also know we didn’t plan to be formally married...and I don’t expect that. Heck...” He looked slightly embarrassed letting it all hang out. “I don’t have a ring...or technically own ANYTHING...I’m...poor. But I have a life to give and I want to give it to you. I’ll be the most devoted father to this baby and the most devoted partner to you.”  

“I know the Nomaadi don’t stay in one place too long. And...if you’ll have me...If you want me...I’ll go anywhere and everywhere you want to go. I want both of us to be together for whatever amount of time we have left in this life.” 

Silence. 

Then Mad spoke. “Hunter...” Her voice caught a hitch and she inhaled sharply. She was touched deeply by this gesture of vulnerability and commitment. The baby, barely formed yet, fluttered sharply inside her belly...the first time she ever felt its presence. Everything seemed so REAL suddenly, not just the concept of being pregnant... 

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

To read RETURN TO PABU Chapter 3:

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/756137825067515904/return-to-pabu-part-3?source=share

IF YOU WISH TO BE ADDED OR DROPPED FROM MY TAG LIST, PLEASE MESSAGE ME! Don't just comment as I might miss it. Thanks!!! <3

[trillscienceofficer]

Let's imagine that you have a signed book deal for a Star Trek novel. What would you write about? If nothing was off limits.

I've been thinking about this question for a couple of days and I'm kind of stumped. I have to say that ‘book deal for a Star Trek novel’ and ‘nothing off limits’ are imho a bit contradictory terms here, given that my fanfic writing is... almost entirely canon-divergent. If nothing was truly off limits I would simply pitch a post-canon, post-divorce, unhappy ending Seven/B'Elanna novel set on Fenris in 2386, but that could never ever become a Star Trek novel. It would be a novel-length fanfiction at best. I've been trying to psych myself up to write it, in fact.

That being said, here are a couple more ideas I've toyed with in the past for novel-length Trek fiction I'd write or that I have written (but currently sit unfinished in my drafts):

Jake Sisko stumbles upon the Starfleet conspiracy about the USS Discovery and Michael Burnham's true fate, and it becomes an obsession which is both good (he isn't following the path of his future self from “The Visitor”) and bad (Starfleet isn't happy that he's snooping around). If we're talking about getting paid to write this one, a Black writer should definitely receive that money rather than me though

A sequel to “Infinity”, one of the stories in “The Lives of Dax” in which Saavik, Torias Dax and Nilani Kahn met while collaborating on the project that eventually killed Torias. I always wanted to know about Trill in the 23rd century, with all their secrets. I have a WIP about this that I spent most of 2021 writing but it's very very unfinished. (I would happily get paid to finish this one)

The character-death-fix story of how Kimara Cretak escaped the Tal Shiar thanks to the Qowat Milat (if you've read “Policy of Truth” perhaps you'll understand what I'm talking about). I'd love to see a former Romulan Senator try to adapt to living in a commune of fringe extremists. There can be a plot also, I haven't really thought about that in depth.

[edgygayguy]

!!!JADE SHADOWS SPOILERS!!!

I played the quest and it was ok. Felt very polarized by it.

The Warframe baby is a very fucking crazy and unexpected idea, the consequences of turning a pregnant person into a Warframe are really interesting and I want more lore and I want it yesterday. It will probably take like 2 years to get back to that tho. I would be happy with just some relevant codex entries. Also the baby to me looked pretty ugly and idk why I focused so much on that detail, but the piece of cloth stalker held it in was just not it. Like why does it look like he knitted that for the baby in advance. I'd rather have the baby itself be more visually interesting and wrapped in just black.

The quest was way too short, if I wasn't following devstreams I would feel no attachment to Jade at all. She's just there and the only thing we know about her is that she and stalker are in love, had a pregnancy and then got turned into Warframes.

I still have a lot of questions that went unanswered. Did the orokin turn both of them into frames at once or did Stalker get turned after the fall? If so was it voluntary? Why does the stalker hunt the tenno so fiercely? We know now why he hates Warframes but weren't the orokin responsible for turning his love into one? My headcannon is that the conditioning the orokin used on the dax was very effective on him, he couldn't bring himself to hate the golden lords so he began hating the warframes and in turn the tenno. I think he voluntarily turned himself into a Warframe, but how? No idea, maybe he managed to seek out Ballas who decided it was a great idea to create a hunter for the ones hunting him.

We know that some frames didn't get piloted by a tenno, Kullervo, Jade and most likely also Dante. The stalker seems to be the same. These 4 somehow managed to maintain their sanity, unlike most of them. This is the only question the quest answered for me, but not really, it just solidified what we already knew.

I love the inclusion of the sisterhood and the dialogue from Parvos, Ordis and Hunhow.

While browsing through Tumblr I saw two popular opinions I didn't even consider.

The first one is that stalker should have been trans. At first I had no idea if people were serious about it or not. The only evidence I saw brought up is that stalker hates himself and in his dialogue with Hunhow there's some stuff that could be interpreted as trans allegory. The latter I do see on a second read, but the first one is just weird. Is deep self hatred on the level of Stalker really a prerequisite for transness? I'd hope not. People being mad about their headcannon not being realized in this instance is odd to me, yeah it is pride month but there's plenty of transness in Warframe already. Ticker and Sentients (especially Hunhow, a man who constantly reminds you of his womb) are the first things that come to mind. I believe that Warframe is inherently trans and has been since the begging. You control Warframes, you can easily swap between them and they are representations of both sexes (+Xaku and Equinox). After the second dream that gets even more reinforced, "dream not of what you are but of what you want to be". Transness is so prevelent in this game that the stalker not being trans isn't that big of a deal, it's not like all of this game's representation was hinging on this one character.

The second one is that Jade doesn't have autonomy, she's stuck suffering and exists solely to give birth. I believe this wouldn't be a problem to most if we got like 20 minutes of extra time in the quest, Jade herself and even smaller things like our operator's involvement felt rushed. From the flashback we see that Jade wanted the child, if anything the quest advocates for autonomy. They should have shown us more to make it more obvious. It was illegal for Jade and Stalker to love each other because of their caste, let alone have a child. If only the quest took a minute to shit on the orokin instead of hoping everyone does that themselves. While in our world the major issue with women's autonomy isn't "I can't have a baby" but "I'm forced to have a baby", I think that these are both sides of the same coin. The underline still is: a woman was stripped of her autonomy. The message unfortunately wasn't clear enough. Also it doesn't help that this is Tumblr and LGBTQ+ people don't usually have the best relationship with pregnancy. And we live in a world where people are being forced to have babies for literally no reason, so it's pretty logical that the thought of someone literally dying to give birth is very emotionally charged and polarizing.

No hate to people who think that stalker should have been trans (I just don't see it) and to people who think that the quest portrayed women's autonomy in a bad way, while I don't think it's the case the devs should have known better, speeding through such a relevant issue was not a good idea on their part. They should have made it clear that Jade really wanted her child and her autonomy was taken from her by the orokin (it would also have helped if we got more Warframe biology).

[tryslora]

Nate vs. the Edits

I have a ton of posts partially written, and this particular one will probably touch on some of those themes. Particularly the concept of time (and how little of it there is in a week).

So. Apologies in advance for that. I have swiss cheese brain. I might not even remember if I’m repeating myself. Maybe y’all will forgive me, or maybe not. I figure readers are happy enough to click next/close and move on. <3

The topic I’m thinking about today is how editing and drafting can be inherently antagonistic.

It’s no secret that I owe multiple books right now. I have two that need to be drafted: the next in the Seven Lakes series, so my indie publishing life doesn’t fail before it gets off the ground, and the next Welcome to PHU book, otherwise known as Nate’s book, which uh… I should’ve started drafting two years ago.

It’s also no secret that I am working with Duck Prints Press to bring out paperback editions of the PHU books, starting with the Twinned trilogy. Commit to the Kick is already in print through DPP, and the second and third books are in progress. We’ll Kickstart print editions once they are edited and ready to roll.

Editing is… hard. I mean, it’s probably hard for everyone, but it’s really hard for me because it is one of my mental breaking points. My brain assumes that when something is drafted, it’s done, and making big changes (or even small changes that have big effects) is hard for me to do. I am more than willing to admit to this fault.

It means that when my brain goes into edit mode, drafting mode goes POOF and disappears. And well, vice versa.

Over the last year, I’ve done a lot of work in learning how to edit, and I’ve gotten better at it. I did a first round edit of Into the Split to handle some large issues before DPP starts working on it. I did a big overhaul of a short story and turned it into a much better version of itself that I could submit to a market. But during that time, I couldn’t draft.

Part of that was time being a finite commodity, and part of it was that editing makes me overthink everything. And for Nate’s book in particular, there is a lot to overthink.

Nate’s book (Run Together, or RT in acronym form) is a book where it would be very easy, and possibly even a good idea, to have multiple narrators. While I had considered it briefly for Pels’s book (Not Your Guardian Angel), in the end, that one was a stronger book for being a single POV. This one I can see all the ways that having all three characters allowed to speak could make it stronger. Cass internalizes so much. And Dax… we’ve hardly gotten to see into his head at all in the PHU ‘verse so far. We know about how he handles his Talent, and that he’s a football stats vending machine. But seeing into his emotional side would be nice, especially considering the things he needs to work through during this storyline.

Every time I started working on the book, I thought about all the pieces that had been broken in ITS and needed to be fixed, and I stalled. I couldn’t wrap my head around the best way to tell the story.

I dubbed this problem “Nate vs. the Edits” in my head, which seemed like a decent title for a bout going multiple rounds in my brain with heavy fighting and damage. Like. Yikes.

Editing makes me analytical, and drafting requires me to shove my analytical parts into the background, letting the foreground take inspiration without failing under the anxiety of the details.

I have always trusted my subconscious when drafting. I have a brain like swiss cheese—I can’t hold details in my mind on purpose, but if I trust them to be there (like programming to a base case for recursion—yes, I know this makes no sense to anyone but me) the story works. I can recall things if I don’t try to recall. Trust my subconscious to fill in the blanks.

Right now, I have “outlined” the first maybe… quarter? third? of Nate’s book. I split a few of my pieces of the timeline into enough information to be able to draft three chapters. Except I feel like they aren’t quite right. The pacing is off.

I’ve lost the ability to write for the joy of writing the serial, for the joy of rolling around in drafting fic about the characters who live in my head. Or, I haven’t lost it… not completely. But I’m struggling with it, and yes, continuing to second guess myself. I’ve become my own gatekeeper, constantly concerned about whether I’m doing it right.

Ironically enough, this also affects editing. I haven’t opened the file for MF that I received a couple of weeks ago because I’m a bit afraid of what I’ll see. Like. They are edits and there are already notes in there that I just have to either agree with, reject, or find a different way to do it. Easy peasy, right?

HAH.

Instead, I’ve decided to use blog posts as my palette cleanser. I’ve spent the last half hour after work accomplishing nothing more than eating dinner and reading half a volume of manga. I know I need to write something so here I am, putting words on a page in hopes that it breaks the fiction loose.

Nate’s rattling around in here somewhere. So is Adam (for the 7Lakes book). They are ready to roll. It’s me that’s stalling.

A part of me thinks that when I’m retired, it’ll be easier. Mornings for drafting and afternoons for editing, or vice versa. Chores as palette cleansers between tasks. I hope that turns out to be true.

But for the moment, I’m squeezing in writing and editing like a teenager hiding my viewing of racy videos—hiding in a closed office for thirty minutes and praying I can get to the end before the time is up. Stealing away and closeting myself with my tablet, spewing words onto the keyboard, spilling my mind like blood from a wound.

/exhales

Yeah. I’m full of weird analogies. 

I know that there’s no secret to this. Yes, we all believe that we have a muse when we write, but we also have to put in the work. Editing is work. The paralyzation comes with the territory, and it means I’m learning. I am discovering what I’m doing wrong (and right!) and I need to internalize it.

No magic formula, just… patience. Doing it anyway. Pushing through.

If I have to edit and re-edit the first chapters of RT, it’s okay. It’s a serial, but I always try to get 4-8 chapters in before I start posting. I have time to fix things.

And somewhere, somehow, I have to do the editing for MF, too.

Two entirely different parts of my personality vying for what little time we have.

Best let them get to it, then, huh?

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[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

Last movie review of 2023, Migration!

Okay I think this might be one of the best animated movies of 2023! "Ruby Gillman Teenage Kraken" and "Under the Boardwalk" were the two best, and "Migration" and is the third best. These movies were so incredible and well done. I fell in love with the visuals and scenery, and the animation for Migration overall. The characters were definitely a 10/10 though! I mostly loved how Gwen was more than just the cute sidekick, but she was the cute sidekick who was also sassy and a little bit daring too. Her brother (i think his name was Dax?) was an optimistic and daring character too! He was fearless and also a good character too. I really loved how they focused on Pam and Mac as well, and made them good parents but also showed their struggles on protecting the family. Pam was so optimistic, she kind of reminded me Ginger from Chicken Run. She was such an icon! My favorites had to be Pam and Gwen! I also loved Delroy and Uncle Dan! They were so funny! Awkwafina also played a unique character too (she voiced a tough greaser pigeon).

I also would like to talk about the villain's design and personality. He didn't speak, they just had an evil chef who just growled and tried to get the ducks. They didn't show much human interactions in the movie but the only bad human was the chef character. He looked like the a super rich chef guy, with gold on him and stuff (He had white hair with gold bands). I liked his funny face too! Also, the other humans didn't seem to be that bad either, it was one person who wanted to eat the ducks. They weren't portraying all the humans as animal-eating monsters.

Another thing is that the art style and everything looked a little different from Illumination's usual movies, seeing really big eyed cartoony birds that were the main focus. Dreamworks, Illumination, and Aardman are dethroning Disney and I'm all here for it! I hope Ghibli does too when the "Boy and the Heron" dub comes out. I'm just happy that Illumination is going to be known for something other than annoying minions. Also, before you say anything, the short film that was before Migration WAS a Despicable Me one but it focused more on that Vector guy and him getting off the moon, as well as showing the minions as comic relief which was fine (tbh Vector himself is funnier). Seeing that animated short made me think of when Disney used to do stuff like that, and I'm happy that Illumination did that. I mostly just enjoyed Migration and I think it was beautiful!

Last of all, the thing I loved most was probably that salsa dance scene when they played that Beyonce song that goes like, "I'm a survivor" but it was a jazzy version of it and it just blended with the movie so well! Whoever chose that song deserves a raise! Also, that was such a cute scene between Mac and Pam. I love how they showed that adults have flaws once in a while, and focus on the adult ducks as much as the kids. This movie was so so cute!

Into 2024, I'm hoping that I would get to see the movie "Butterfly Tale", which according to my best friend who's in Canada and got to see it (I'm an unfortunate American who missed out). If you have any info about Butterfly Tale, please tell me! The best movies this year I'd say are Butterfly Tale, Ruby Gillman, Migration, and Under the Boardwalk. Tell me YOUR favorite animated movies of 2023! Go on! Don't be afraid to express your opinion in my comments, even if it's different from mine!

[ussjellyfish]

Star Trek asks: 🖖, 🌀 and 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

🖖 First Star Trek Media you encountered:

We watched TNG on television when I was a kid (as it was airing the first time!). One of my earliest memories (I was 4) is of Will Riker getting sucked into the big black Armus pool and how freaky that was. I remember the face coming up from the bottom.

And they saved him! he was okay. (Tasha's death did not compute in my very small mind). Will being okay in the end was part of "Star Trek means we're all okay" which is my earliest opinion.

Often this still carries over.

🌀 If the Holodeck was real, what's the first thing you would use it for?

adventure fantasy RPGs. I'd love to be able to play something like Dragon Age. It would be incredible.

I would also use it to test out fic lines and positions and make sure they make sense. I have no sense of inner eye, so that would be helpful. Where do her hands go...

👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾 Do you ship any characters? Who?

Oh Georgiou.

I don't have any strong preferences about ships in some series. My levels of shipping are:

Ships I find cute on screen. (USS Enterprise-G)

Ships I would read fic. I would probably write fic for an exchange or a challenge. (USS Enterprise-D)

Ships I would write fic for, because I want the fic to bring myself joy and those are much more intense. (USS Voyager) I will land my starship on this planet.

Ships that are platonic for me and I adore them. (USS Protostar)

Ships where I want to read everything that has ever been written about them. I have saved all the artwork. I want to commission more artwork. (USS DIscovery) I will travel through the mycelial network for this ship. This ship is my home.

(under a cut for length)

TOS - no ships. Never really had any. TOS is not foundational for me though, I don't think I've seen the whole thing and probably never will. It's so much men talking.

AOS - I have a soft spot for Spock/Uhura. I really liked Uhura.

TNG - I shipped Deanna/Will so much as a child. They're in my very first fanfic. I liked Beverly/Jean-Luc (historical) later, but not until I was an adult. Deanna/Will I shipped as a very tiny human. I have witten fic for both of these. I also ship Beverly/Deanna, and Beverly/Deanna/Will in a very lighthearted way.

DS9 - Jadzia Dax/Lenara Kahn is gorgeous and tragic and I adore them. Kira/Dax in a very lighthearted way. They're fun. I shipped Jadzia Dax/Worf when the show first came out and probably would if I did a rewatch, but it's a very mild ship (I wouldn't read fic). I am very invested in Jadzia Dax.

VOY - Kathryn Janeway/B'Elanna Torres is fun. I've read some fic. I love how intellectual they would be together. I wrote and read much Janeway/Chakotay (historical) about ten years ago, but I'm not as into him now. (Robert Beltran makes it hard for me). Still love Janeway. I also like Seven/B'Elanna.

ENT - I enjoyed Trip/T'Pol when the show was on. I don't think I've seen all of it. I love T'Pol.

SNW - I have a passing interest in Una/La'An and Una/Pike. I've read some fic but haven't written any. I want nice things for Batel/Pike in canon. (he needs to be a better partner to her though). I ship Amanda/Sarek here simply based on how convince I am that Amanda loves him.

PIC - Seven/Raffi are wonderful and I adore them. I love their connection and their dear faces. Agnes/Borg Queen are fun and dark. Laris/Zhaban are fun. I wanted to ship Beverly/Jean-Luc again but they didn't give me much. Shipper brain was not engaged. Deanna/Will were so angsty. Will & Beverly might be my strongest legacy ship in this show. I wish Beverly & Deanna got to talk.

PRODIGY - dammit here I almost ship Janeway/Chakotay again. I ship Janeway/happiness here so much and if finding him will make her happy, okay fine. Gwyndala/Dal are cute and I want them to have nice things. Haven't wanted to read any fic though.

Crossover Trek - Beverly Crusher/Kathryn Janeway has held a special place in my shipper heart for 13 years. I love them so much. I love that they're still going and they show up in exchanges. They would be such a good couple.

Philippa Georgiou/Afsaneh Paris was such a fun thing.

Most trek crossover femslash is fun and I would try it in an exchange.

DSC - Philippa Georgiou (captain)/Katrina Cornwell. They'd be cute. They must have met. Katrina Cornwell/Gabriel Lorca (prime), Katrina sold me on that one. Katrina Cornwell/Philippa Georgiou (emperor), they have a handful of scenes and they would totally work.

Michael Burnham/Cleveland Booker are very cute on screen and I hope they get a nice ending. (I think they will). Hugh Culber/Paul Stamets are adorable and charming. Adira Tal/Gray Tal are so sweet. Saru/T'Rina are the regency couple of Star Trek and they're very cute. They're so happy in season 5, I love it. I think Joann Owosekun/Keyla Detmer are really fun, I hope they get a nod this season. I love how much the actors do with a look. Michael & Tilly are one of my favorite friendships ever and I adore them. Michael Burnham & Philippa Georgiou (emperor) variety is so complex and intense and I love how they evolve and grow together.

Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak are my top tier, own my soul, ship. I will read every fic that is ever published of them and reblog the gifs on repeat forever and memorize every nuance of every conversation they've ever had. They are the shiniest thing in my fannish heart at the moment, and I have watched their scenes together so many times.

For years I was this obsessed with Beverly/Kathryn, but they didn't have scenes together so I couldn't rewatch them.

Micahel/Laira have scenes together! They talk to each other! I have a whole arc that I can watch on repeat!! I have different episodes to watch for different feelings I need for fic!!

They're so niche and I wish I had more people to talk about them with because I love them so much and...it is a very lonely ship. People do write fic and read it and it's tiny and lovely. I am so grateful for all the interactions I ever have about this ship.

I often feel very out of step in my fannish Star Trek spaces because they are not a ship shared by many. I feel seen when someone acknowledges how much I love them.

[codenameregnar]

Ooh, can I request 29 from the Star Trek Asks meme?

29. Which character's story would you like to adopt as your own?

So I’m not sure if this means adapt in your own way or if it means which characters story would you literally like to live through.

If its the former my answer is Bashir. He deserves to be able to be happy again. He deserves to be able to release himself from the sins of his parents. He deserves to feel normal and comfortable and safe, with memories of the war so far away and stacked upon by joy that it seems like a different life lived by someone else. I just love him a lot.

If the question is asking the second interpritation then Dax for sure. Imagine getting to watch the galaxy change and evolve before your very eyes. Getting able to experience life through so many different perspectives and have those past selves teach you a about your current self. Having the love and self assurance of a dozen generations who are all rooting for you inside you at all times. It would probably fix me. Even with how Jadzia’s story ends, Ezri’s is just beginning. And she is her own person with all the room and resources to fully become herself. She gets to take the immensity of everything that shes learned and apply it to her own personhood. What a gift.

Thanks for asking!! I’ll send one back at ya: #39

[playing-with-dax]

What would your characters do if I was on my period and I was having a hissy fit?

Dax: doesn't understand why you're mad at first 🥺Once he figures it out though, he knows all the period care tricks and would absolutely dote on you and help you feel a little better. He would run you a nice bath and lay out some clean clothes for you. While you were soaking he would gather up your favorite snacks, lots of blankets, your favorite show/movie, some pain relief or a heating pad. He would give you the best cuddles while rubbing your back or playing with your hair. It's hard to stay mad when he's being so sweet and knows exactly what you need

Verik: If you were feeling sick or having really bad cramps and you told him what was happening, he would do his very best to take care of you and bring you anything you asked for. If you were being bratty or pitching a fit...it would be like a Chihuahua puppy barking at a Great Dane lol. He would be amused and offer to fuck that attitude out of you if that's what you were secretly hoping for 😏 He would find it cute that you were too stubborn to just ask, and he'd be more than happy to provide a little attitude adjustment

Shallow: Has absolutely no idea what's happening. They're curious about this sudden outburst but also cautious because they don't want to upset you more. Eventually you notice that the 8ft tall creature is nervously avoiding you, so you soften up and explain the situation. They have no idea what a period is but they love to learn everything they can about humans. Their face lights up and they become a bubbly stream of questions and curiosity. You definitely don't have the patience to explain it all to them right now, but you promise you will later. They accept the rain check and agree to settle in for snacks and a movie instead 🥰

[vasquez-rocks]

ds9 characters ranked from least to most likely to have a youtube channel where they do obviously staged creepypasta vlogs for 8 year olds in the most annoying voice you’ve ever heard

8) worf – beneath his honor 7) o’brien – he lived it when rumplestiltskin moved into his house, no way he’s doing that shit again 6) odo – he IS the creepypasta monster the annoying person would find in the obviously staged vlog, which might complicate matters 5) kira – not something she’s likely to do, but, eh, if it’d make kirayoshi happy, she’s the fun aunt, right? unfortunately her vlogs always end with her shooting the evil ronald mcdonald or whatever with the “disintegrate” setting of her phaser, which frightens the little ones 4) sisko – the man will do anything to make his son happy, and jake is a writer which suggests his little nine-year-old self was probably obsessed with videos about mothman or whatever 3) quark – surprisingly, not the most likely on this list! it’s a little beneath his dignity to do the kicked-in-the-head-by-a-mule voice and pretend to be scared of a puppet or whatever. but there’s latinum in children’s entertainment, and he DOES need some way to win back the station’s parents after he accidentally sent a bat mitzvah party into a holodeck playing Vulcan Love Slave IV 2) bashir – would it be in his nature? no. of course not. he is sensitive and fussy. but like. look at him. his twinkish build. the pallor of blue computer light on the bags under his eyes. this man was bred in a lab to sit in a gaming chair and lie to children about creepypasta monsters 1) dax – “oh my gosh, guys, it’s 3 am and look what just snuck into my apartment” [turns camera around and it’s captain boday naked in her bed]

[monster-crave]

Happy Birthday

Dax x Lucy [m!Lizardman x f!Human]

Note: Lucy and Dax are characters from a longer story and art series we are working on but we wanted to share some of the fun they have. If you want to see artwork of them, You can check Lucy here and Dax here. 

Warnings/Tags: NSFW, monster x human story, dom/sub undertones, alien anatomy, size difference, domination, non-human genitalia, double penetration

Word Count: 1673

Dax walked into his room, it was already late, and the coldness of the night was wearing him out more than the long day he had. It was rare for him to feel that way, but right now, he only wanted to lie in bed and sleep until the sun was up. His kin didn’t take light to low temperatures, which was frustrating given their superior physical strength.  

As he stepped into the space lit only by a handful of candles, he noticed Lucy standing by the bed, holding a huge platter. He could smell the raw meat and fruit from where he was standing. Her small frame looked even more petite in front of the frame of the huge bed, her red hair running down her back and the flames from the candle making it look like a reflection of sire.

“What is that?” He approached the small woman and tilted his head, observing the image before him. He wasn’t sure what was more appetizing, the dinner she was holding or her fragile body dressed in nothing but golden chains and jewelry. 

“A birthday cake.” She responded with a smile, but a blush crept down her suntanned cheeks. 

“A birthday cake?” Dax understood the concept of a birthday. It was when humans celebrated the day they were born. Xant’lians didn’t celebrate that. First, none of them knew when they were hatched, and no one kept track of that. Second, having a day that was somewhat supposed to be unique due to becoming a year old was a bit silly. Now there was a birthday cake?

“It’s a…when someone has a birthday…and we bake them this thing with flour and sweets to celebrate.” He could see she was feeling even more embarrassed. It all amused Dax a lot. Lucy worshiped their kind as if they were some gods. The woman would wear nothing but jewelry decoration, which would not bother her even one bit, but when she had to talk to him, she was suddenly closing up in that shell. “You don’t eat flour…or sweets…so I made a pile of meat and fruits.”

“I don’t have a birthday.” Dax laughed now. It was too much. His surprise and amusement were turning that into a comedy in his head. 

“I know…but I thought it might be nice.” Her eyes pinned further down, and she pushed the platter toward him. 

Dax considered all of it for a second. While he wasn’t hungry for food, there was another type of craving in him she could satisfy, and that probably made more sense to both of them. 

“How about you give me that,” he took the massive plate off her hands. “And take everything you are wearing off. 

Lucy did as she was asked without a second of hesitation. She gave him the platter and slowly took the golden chains, wrapping her body off and exposing her even more. 

“Lie down,” Dax commanded, and she obeyed, pushing her petite body onto the bed. The pale sheets and the dim light from the candles in the room reflected nicely on her darker skin, but her green eyes sparkled. 

Dax threw the meat on the floor and pulled a grape, placing it on her belly. He then grabbed a strawberry, putting it right under it. Dax did this with different fruits, balancing them on different parts of her torso. He could see Lucy’s breathing picking up with every step he made.

“If one of them falls because of you….” He didn’t need to finish that sentence as she tried to steady her breathing.

Once done, he climbed on the bed, careful not to move it too much. Dax showed her his long thick tongue, the four piercings on its tip reflecting the dim lights. He directed it first to that grape he had placed but then suddenly moved it between her legs, the metal studs rubbing against her clit. 

Lucy did her best to stay calm and not to move, but it was so hard. Dax’s tongue was running against her, and all she wanted to do was moan and arch her body. She curled her toes and gripped the sheets with her hands doing her best to stay stable. 

Eventually, Dax pulled away. She was frustrated but grateful because that was almost as much as she could take. His mouth moved to her belly, and he ate the fruit there, his sharp teeth rubbing against her tender skin. A moment later, he continued his pleasant torture, making it so hard for her to stay still. He repeated that same move several times, driving her so close to release, making it so hard for her to stay still, but she was also aware she was at his mercy, and if she moved in a way he didn’t like the game was over, or at least for her. 

Dax climbed on top of her when all the fruit was gone from her body. His yellow eyes fixed on her face as his tongue reached down and started caressing her breasts and nipples. She could feel the warmth, the saliva, the slightly sticky substance that covered it, and the metal piercing rubbing against her pleasantly. His large body completely covered her, making her almost disappear between him and the bed.

“You might deserve a reward.” He positioned himself better, and Lucy looked between his legs. 

Xant’lians were different and larger than humans in every aspect. Their scale-covered bodies were always cold, and their torsos and limbs were thicker and more powerful. But one of the most significant differences came between their legs. Xant’lians had two phalluses showing between their legs when aroused, and the shapes and sizes differed. Dax was probably one of the thickest she had ever seen, but his length was also covered with bumps, and parts of it were significantly enlarged than the rest. 

Lucy had been with him for years, and she still couldn’t get over the feeling she experienced when with him. He pressed the sharper tip, one of his cocks against her entrance and the other against her ass. She could feel the natural lubrication coming from the two of them as he pushed, her body, this time arching against his big shape. Dax went slowly on her today, the first bump on his cocks entering both her holes simultaneously, making her feel even tighter. She felt a couple of inches of relief when she felt the next ridge, making her scream in pleasure, some more relief and then another. 

Dax leaned on top of her, his heavy body pressing her hard against the sheets, his scales scratching her skin as his hips started moving, pulling his lengths out of her and then shoving them back again, this time faster, making the sensations even more intense. Lucy wrapped her arms around him, wanting to feel more of him but also unable to do anything else but moan and enjoy the sensation of having both of her holes filled. 

His pace was fast, but he was also going almost all the out with every move, his skin rubbing against her clit, driving her to her first orgasm quickly. As he felt her shiver in his arms, he suddenly stopped, his length still in her, stretching her to her limit, but he didn’t move for a long moment. To her surprise, he slowly pulled out again, making her feel every bump and shape of his cocks, until he was completely free, and she felt empty. 

“Come on top of me,” Dax commanded as he rolled on his back. Lucy obeyed, pushing herself up, already missing his massive body on top of her. “Not like that, with your back toward me.” 

She obeyed again. Her legs straddled him, her back turned toward his face, and her long red hair ran down her spine.  

“Do I need to tell you what to do?” Lucy felt the annoyance in his voice and realized he was expecting her to do it. 

She moved up, positioning her petite body over his length. It wasn’t the first time she would slide her tiny frame on top of him, but it was always much more manageable when he did it. Lucy found the right angle, so both of his tips pointed at her holes and pushed herself down. Although he was in her a moment ago, she still felt her body's stretch and resistance to accommodate his unusual shape. Inchy by inch, she slid down, moaning and twisting her body to make the angle work. She started moving, but he was too big under her, and it was hard for her small frame to sustain any reasonable pace. 

Dax must have been enjoying that, seeing her struggle as she was trying to please him, but then she felt his big cold hands on her body, pulling her, so her back pressed against his scaly chest. His tongue licked her neck as he started thrusting in her, slightly changing the angle for her and making her moan louder as he drove her into orgasm. 

Dax didn’t care she had come. He continued the savage moves. Now that her body was even more sensitive and overstimulated, she was like a doll in his grip, every part of her body exposed for his hands to grab, and her tongue was mercilessly licking her neck and reaching for her mouth. She knew he could go for a long time, and so he did. Not changing the position, just the pace, but making sure she could feel every bump and ridge on him as she came twice on top of him before he finally found his release filling both of her holes with a sticky hot liquid. 

Dax helped her move from him once he was finally pleased. She felt so weak but in a pleasant way, her powerful arms placing her on the bed next to him as if she was light as a father.

“Do that instead of cake next time.” He laughed as he said that.