#in case you were wondering. no i am not okay

[bookshelfdreams]

In case you're wondering what the fuck is going on in Germany today:

After our government imploded last week, current vice chancellor Robert Habeck (Greens) was the first to announce that he is going to run for chancellor in the upcoming election. He did this with a picture in which he was seen wearing a bracelet that spelt out "Kanzler-Era". He then proceeded to properly announce his candidacy in a video, filmed on a set designed to look like my mum's kitchen in the 90s, where he said, and I quote,

"I am ready to offer my experience, my strength, and my responsibility. As chancellor, if you'll have me."

He also encouraged people to invite him into their homes so he could listen to their problems. His party is currently polling around 10-12% btw. Ambitious to the point of delusion, but mad respect. Just look at him.

The title translates to "My application as a candidate for the people in Germany". The Greens are always so goddamn earnest, you just gotta love them.

So anyway, this prompted a random dude from the Cologne CDU (that's the conservative party) named Gundolf (no, really) to post on twitter that, should the Greens win, we should "inofficially" rethink women's right to vote. He also called Habeck a "political marriage swindler".

German twitter, predictably, replied with a very well-deserved "The FUCK, bro".

Then, Gundolf goes on an absolutely unhinged rant about how, actually, historically women weren't discriminated against because they were "rightfully" considered more emotional and fragile, and also, women's suffrage was a result of higher literacy rates (???), and ALSO, have you, the reader, considered that Robert Habeck is the true misogynist here because he presents himself as emotionally available in a clear effort to manipulate the girlies??? With his good looks and political competency and raw sexual appeal. NOT GUNDOLF of course. HE is immune to all that. He's just concerned for women and their fragile little brains.

(Okay, I may have exaggerated that last part a little but that's the vibes. Gundolf, do you want to tell us something?)

Anyway, that's the party who will most likely head our government next year 🙃

[newtkelly]

Not to word vomit on you but I can't stop thinking about Oliver wanting a love story like Tarlos and how it all accidentally lined up.

Knowing that Carlos and TK were about to move in, and then Carlos made that romantic gesture and TK got scared because it was, "too good to be true."

Carlos is left, confused, puzzled and nursing a broken-heart but still just as in love. What do you mean that TK and Carlos saw a future together, one got scared at that prospect and left before Carlos was the one to leave??

What do you mean that happened after Oliver said he wanted Bucktommy to have a love story like Tarlos; where it was always going to be them?

Then you consider Oliver saying that we might see Tommy and Buck interact during a call and it'll be awkward and who can't help but think of TK and Carlos running into the furniture store and seeing each other for the first time in weeks.

Anyways, sorry to be delusional in your ask box. I'm deep within the Tarlos trenches so this is all starting to look eerily familiar lmao (it could also be Tim is out of ideas, which is most likely the case)

Please feel free to word vomit on me always, I live for it.

Receiving this ask has actually prompted me to share some thoughts that I’ve held back from sharing, just because I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to throw more speculation into the void. But this message is so lovely, and I agree with it so much and so… okay I will share some of my mixed bag of thoughts about this whole situation.

Firstly, I adore Tarlos and LS (even if I don’t post about either much), TK is my baby, and the interesting thing about them for me is that I wound up caring for them more AFTER they broke up and got back together. If Buck and Tommy’s story is formatted as a rom-com, TK and Carlos are a tragicomedy. TK, the heartbroken recovering addict thrust into an entirely new city, a new career, who doesn’t want to let himself get too close to something good because he is misery incarnate. Carlos, the hopeful hopeless romantic who sees TK and doesn’t see something that needs fixing, but someone who his love could help heal. It’s such a gorgeous story, and the symmetry of both characters shockingly losing a parent in a tragic way is painfully beautiful. I LOVE their love story.

That brings me to Oliver and Tim’s comments. Throughout the Buck and Tommy relationship, my belief that this would be Buck’s final relationship only ever wavered twice. The first time was in the immediate aftermath of their first date (I spent the whole episode thinking that Tommy was actually reintroduced to kick off the bi awakening plotline and Buck was not acquiring a boyfriend) and the second time was towards the tail end of the summer hiatus when I legitimately began to doubt Lou would want to come back given everything that transpired. Other than that, I had full faith that this was it, this was Buck getting off the “hamster wheel”—Tim’s words, not mine.

I had confidence for a few reasons. 1 – the story was always handled with care onscreen and gave us no reason to think they weren’t going to work out. 2 – the chemistry was insane, and I knew it couldn’t just be me because an entire fandom was born. Tim and tptb must have seen what we saw. 3 – the supplementary information funneled to us through articles and Tim’s social media, literally up until post-8x06 never seemed to indicate that their relationship was headed in this direction. A big part of that was the comparison to Tarlos.

In order to protect myself (should I name the list of shows, movies, couples that I’ve fixated on that wound up playing out in dissatisfying ways?), I am awfully pessimistic. The post-episode interviews, articles, + hearing a bit from LFJ and OS has me wondering if this was some mass hallucination. Did we truly cling to something good and blow it up, run with it? Was this always the plan? I’ve wondered if because S7 was so short and S8 required that other characters get the spotlight first/other stories needed to be told and wrapped, and if because of production and scheduling and whatever external reasons, did their relationship wind up having a longer life than was ever intended. Were they ever supposed to make it to six months? Were they ever supposed to make it past the fucking wedding? I have been asking myself this stuff a lot. Alternatively, did something happen that made them want to or have to part ways with LFJ? So many questions, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know.

But… then there’s the delusional side of me, and the reason I haven’t totally abandoned hope is because when I was watching 8x06 live, EVERYTHING in me told me that this is a necessary section of the rom-com formula. Even the call-backs throughout the episode made me feel like the writers are so painfully aware, and that the narrative wants these characters to be together (Miceli’s, Abby, basketball, going to the movies, calling an uber, the loft kitchen, “you’re not ready”)—the motifs were absolutely popping off. I did not think it was the end when the episode ended. I wondered when and how they would find their way back to each other to fulfill the rom-com genre, but what I did NOT expect was to open social media and see articles framing this as the end. I wasn’t surprised when I found out who wrote the articles, and listen—if they bait one side of the fandom, can’t they bait the other? I still have some hope, because at the end of the day, anything can happen with network television. Maybe this is all part of the plan, and the interviews should be taken with a grain of salt. I just don’t know.

Interviews with Tim and Oliver from day one positioned the Buck and Tommy relationship as a queer love story devoid of trauma. Okay, well… huh. From where I was sitting, there was A TON of explicitly queer trauma exposed in 8x06. Their “hurdle” is tied utterly and completely to queerness. Tommy runs because he is a gay man who doesn’t trust that his bisexual boyfriend should “settle” for him, and who would rather be alone than heartbroken, and if that truly is the last of Tommy, it has to be one of the coldest and cruelest exits we’ve ever seen on this show. Do they simply not realize how deeply traumatized both characters come off in that episode, or is it all part of the plan? If the interviews positioning this as the permanent end of bucktommy should be taken at face value, shouldn’t the other interviews that position them as a rom-com (with the formulaic third act breakup, boils and all) be taken as the truth as well? If there was some misinterpretation, why hasn’t Tim said anything—he clearly knows a lot of fans were hurt by what they watched. He must have seen the outrage—why radio silence? Did we truly blow this out of proportion? Are the wheels coming off behind the scenes? I need a tell-all at this point lol

Thank you for the lovely ask, I’ve been sitting with these thoughts all week so this was a good excuse to finally articulate them. <3

[xlatrina]

(Pt. II.2) Friends to Lovers HCs w/Homicipher x GN!Reader

Tags: Platonic + Romantic HCs, Friends to Lovers trope for basically every LI, Likely OOC for some LIs*, Mini Scenarios (so HCs are kinda plot-driven), *Multi-Part Series, entirely SFW

Also, changing tenses in some cases + not proofread again... sorry!

*Some of the LIs are likely written OOC (Out Of Character) mainly due to a lack of substantial in-game appearances (at least in my opinion!). 

*Split into multiple parts because I’ve come to realize that these HCs are muuucccchhh too long 😅 BUT!! I’m too lazy to shorten them sooo… YEAH lol

Part I (Big 🙆‍♂️)

Part II (Mr. Chopped 🪓)

Part III (Mr. Crawling 👣)

$$$

Mr. Chopped (First Half/Second Half)

Cont.

Mr. Chopped is the type to get super lost in his stories. So lost that his face often morphs accordingly based on whatever he’s babbling about.

When he tells you about the state of his missing body, you watch his face morph from shock to sadness, to confusion, to an adorable pout, and then to excitement.

When he tries to explain his first few encounters with Mr. Silvair (which were rough, since Mr. Silvair appears to be the one who separated Mr. Chopped from his body in the first place), Mr. Chopped’s face morphs from fear to distrust to shock to joy.

This little man is just so darn expressive!

His feelings for you grow as you open up to him more and more.

You tell him about your experiences at work, and you tell him about an internship you finished some time ago (relative to whenever you ended up trapped in the Apartments).

You then tell him about some of your hobbies.

When you suggest doing one or two with him, he beams up at you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him!

He’s probably blushing so baadddd at the thought of it lol

One-on-one personal time for an even longer period of time than usual???

An activity you enjoy that you choose to only ever share with him and him alone??

Even though he’s just a head and you have literally so many other options who all possess bodies and can get around on their own to at least some extent??!

WHAOXOANALXNDLFLDBAHAGVSBSKCKFLDM

At some point, he convinces you to follow his directions to a particular room. 

When you get there, you find yourself feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Here darkness,” you say. “We together go find light?”

“Is okay,” Mr. Chopped says. “Go that way! Hurry! Fast!”

You listen and approach a small square in the wall.

Briefly, you wonder if Mr. Gap might be in there, but it seems like the hole is empty.

“Enter! Enter!” Mr. Chopped bounces in your grasp excitedly.

You enter the crawl space and pull yourself through.

Soon, the darkness morphs into a faint whitish color.

Your heart jumps at the senses being triggered as you approach.

You finally come across a small hole, and through it, you peer at a sight you haven’t seen in a long time, your mouth agape as Mr. Chopped watches you excitedly.

The sound of clicking on stones draws your eyes to the heeled shoes strutting back and forth past the hole.

There’s the sound of chatter, laughter, shouting, horns, music…

Something smells good. Sooooo good…

Fresh food. Something’s being grilled…

Damn! Your mouth is starting to water!

“This place where?” You ask, pressing Mr. Chopped closer to your face. It was a super small space, after all.

“This place go to other area! Not know where area is, but if possible, me want to go!” Mr. Chopped grins at you, and you can’t help grinning back.

“Wow…” you say. “This is so cool. I wonder if those people will notice me if I reach out to them, though?”

Mentally, you waved the thought away just as quickly as you thought it.

After all, you promised your friends here some weeks ago that you’d stay. And while you could certainly always change your mind, well…

At the moment, you don’t really have a desire to leave.

“I’m happy you decided to share this with me, Mr. Chopped.” You smile sweetly at him.

“What you say? You happy?” He asks. You giggle at him.

“Am happy together we come here. Am grateful you bring me here. Am lots happy!” You say.

Mr. Chopped's face grows into a deep purplish color.

Mr. Chopped lets out a happy sound, his eyes pressing up into a cute squint.

“You happy!! Me lots happy to see you happy!! This place here for you and me now. We come together here now! You understand??” Mr. Chopped asks.

You giggle, and say “Okay, me understand now.”

…

I think I got carried away there LMAO

Anyway, I feel like with all of that being said, after hanging around you for a while and developing a mutual crush, there will eventually come a time when Mr. Chopped gets tired of this long period of unknowing…

Like, you two are OBVIOUSLY super close to each other —much closer than either of you are to anybody else there!

Y’all are at a point where y'all hesitate to even call each other friends!!

And to be so real with you, my guy…

Mr. Chopped has just straight up stopped calling you his friend!!

And it’s kinda awkward for others…

Cuz like… what exactly are you two???

At some point, Mr. Chopped will probably more or less ask you.

“You enjoy me, and me enjoy you. But together we not friends. You and me together what??”

Because you didn’t immediately answer in like 0.02 seconds, he immediately became fussy and demanded to be taken to Mr. Silvair.

And once you take him there, Mr. Chopped dismisses you, so… yeah…

A few days pass and you start to really miss Mr. Chopped.

I mean, he can’t possibly be that mad, right?? What even happened back then anyway to get him so mad in the first place??

You decide to go see him.

You don’t plan on apologizing because, like… what exactly would you be apologizing for??

But!! You want to get to the bottom of your sudden dismissal that day!!

And if come to find out you did offend him somehow, then you’ll apologize—because it most certainly wasn’t your intention.

Anyway, he wasn’t hard to find, thankfully. He was chilling in the lounge next to the infirmary room, which means Mr. Silvair was likely in the operating room doing… Silvair things in there.

He’s nodding off, going in and out of sleep.

It’s literally soooo adorable to look at.

But you’re here on a mission, so no getting distracted!!

Anywho, you startle Mr. Chopped, and he fusses at you accordingly.

But you cut to the chase, demanding to know why he was so upset the other day and dismissed you like that.

He pouts and says something like, “Me give question, and you not answer!” 

Suddenly, he smiles at you. “But is okay, I give answer for you!!”

“Huh?? What you mean?” You ask.

Joyfully, he responds, “You and me together now! You understand?”

OH WOW.

Erm…

Well.

You now have a boyfriend, and that’s just what it is. 

But hey!!

At least your boyfriend is super cute!! And fun!! And connected to a pretty smart, innovative guy like Silvair!

And!! Mr. Chopped absolutely adores EVERYTHING about you!!

You and Silvair are the closest people to him.

But, between you and him…

You’re obviously a little more special to him than Mr. Silvair!

[Part I (Mr. Big 🙆‍♂️) | Part II (Mr. Chopped 🪓, First Half/Second Half), Part III (Mr. Crawling 👣)]

[seokmattchuus]

Prove It - Seok Matthew (Extended Ver.)

A/n: 1. Ignore the gif, I found it in my files and decided it was The One™ 2. A single person asked for this and who am I to deny them (I have had the worst writers block, and this was doable). You're welcome, or I'm sorry, I don't know. 3. I don't remember if this was proofread.

Coming home early wasn't an often occurrence. Being a teacher, you were technically supposed to be home an hour after dismissal, but realistically, you weren't home till early evening. Today, however, was a half day, and you were more than happy to be able to spend the rest of your day cuddled up with your boyfriend.

You didn't expect to walk into an empty home, but you perked up when you heard him on the phone in your shared bedroom. You excitedly placed your bags down and made your way to the room, your hand reaching for the door before the sound of the other person speaking up stopped you.

"Does it ever kill you that she's two years older?" You overheard Hanbin through Matthew's phone. "I mean. Everyone knows you like being called 'oppa', are you okay with her never calling you that?"

"It's not like she hasn't called me it before." Matthew scoffed. "She's called me 'oppa' plenty of times." He was lying, but Hanbin didn't know that.

"Playfully, probably." Hanbin's voice flattened.

"Dude. It's not a deal breaker." Matthew defended. "So what if she doesn't say it? It's not like I'll die if I don't hear it." He paused. "Besides, she's a foreigner. She barely uses honorifics with anyone."

"I see how your ears perk up when girls call y-"

You quickly removed yourself from earshot. Your eyes quickly scanning for the quietest way out of the area.

You slowly made your way back to the door before opening it and closing it harsher than before so he could hear.

"Babe, I'm home!" You called, staying in place in case he made his way towards you.

There was a moment of silence before you heard him coming out of the room.

"You're home early." He smiled at you. He really didn't look like he was having the conversation he was. "I was expecting you a little later."

"You say that like you had plans." You raised a playful brow. "Don't tell you threw her in the closet?"

"Closet?" He scoffed as he made his way towards you, throwing his arms around you. "She jumped out the window when she heard you pull up."

You both laughed as he placed a kiss on your cheek, and you wondered if he really meant what he said.

"So why are you early?" He smiled as he pulled away, leading the both of you to the couch.

You'd never used honorifics, he was right about that, but you wanted to test just how 'okay' he was with you not calling him anything.

"I was grading papers with Taekwoon oppa." You scanned his face for a reaction. "He's been helping me a lot with Korean. I'm even getting more comfortable with honorifics." You put a smile on your face.

"Oh?" He said, his tone unreadable. "Who else do use honorifics with?"

His voice trailed off and it killed you inside. You shouldn't have said anything, but why wouldn't he just tell you to call him that to begin with? You would have gladly done it. But with how he seems to want to keep it hidden, how could you bring it up first? What if he said he didn't mean it or brushed you off?

"Just him for now." You nodded. "Everyone else around me is either my age or younger." You shrugged. It was true. The school you worked for was relatively new, so it was full of mostly new graduates. The only people older than you were admin, but you rarely ever ran into them because Taekwoon handled everything as the head teacher.

There was a silence that took over and you shuffled in your spot.

"What made him the first guy you use honorifics with?" His gave you a glace, a firm hand falling on your knee. It would have been harmless had you not known the context.

"He takes care of me a lot." You started, and his hand on you tightened. "He's also always looking out for me. He took the blame for a couple of my fuck ups, too."

You paused as you thought about your next statement.

"And he's not a 'guy' to you. He's a hyung." You corrected him, trying to sound like you were upset over it.

He rose a brow at you.

"Not the foreigner correcting my Korean." He scoffed, his annoyance growing the longer you talked about him.

"Tough talk for another foreigner, Mr. Maple." You reminded him. "And you can't blame me for assimilating." You shrugged, the silence slowly creeping back in your space.

"He is some guy to me, though." His hand removed itself from you. "I'm literally always taking care of you, too." Disbelief coated his tone as he turned to fully look at you. "That time when you got too drunk at your staff party and I carried you home." He started. "That time when your ankles were cut from your shoes being too tight so I ran to get you some slippers and a first aid kit from the nearest convenience store." He continued, his speech picking up in pace. "Not to mention I always take you your stuff before you even realize you've forgotten it." He paused. "Doesn't that count as taking care of you?"

There it was.

"I'm older than you. Not to mention we're dating. I thought you were just being caring. In love and all that." You reminded him. You were going to get him to air it out. "I think you keep forgetting that aspect." You sighed. "When an older person takes care of you, it's different."

"I'm younger but you had no problem calling me 'daddy'." He scoffed at your reasoning, landing him a pillow to the face. He spoke up after recovering. "Calling me 'oppa' wouldn't kill you."

"That was just once." You muttered in defense. "And I was drunk." You cleared your throat, surprised at how quickly the conversation turned.

"Keep telling yourself that." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, it wouldn't hurt to say it just once." He leaned in, his face right in front of yours. "I won't tell anyone." He said in a sing-song voice.

It was your turn to snicker now. You expected him to take the jealous route, not playful. But there was a part of you that wanted to see where he was going with this.

"What's it to you?" You tilted your head. "I thought you liked being my little baby~" You teased, your hand going to pinch his cheek. He groaned, swatting your hand away.

"Because I'm not a little baby." He narrowed his eyes at you. "It's two years between us. Not twenty." You watched as he kept the look on his face.

"How about this." You started. "I'll say it once."

"How about always?" He was quick to respond, giving you his best puppy eyes and you couldn't help but want to cave.

"Since you want it so bad," You paused, watching his expression turn expectant. "What do I get if I do it?"

His eyebrow twitched as the latter part of your sentence came out.

"How about a bet, then?" He smiled as he leaned over you, your back gradually leaning until you were laying on the couch. "If you can keep quiet until I'm done with you, I'll drop it."

You swallowed at the sudden shift in atmosphere. Did a simple title mean that much to him?

His arm moved to support him while he hovered over you and you could feel his thigh moving to press on your own in an attempt to open them. The little amount of space giving you no room to try and fight it.

"But if you can't." He smirked, his head dipping down so his lips were brushing lightly against yours. "You can't call me anything else."

His thigh had succeeded in passing yours and you let out a shaky breath at the contact. His eyes flicked towards yours and you saw the corner of his mouth curve into a smirk.

"Deal?"

It wasn't like you to give in so easily, even if you looked like you would. But something about seeing this side of him made you want more. Despite the tiny age gap you had, he didn't submit to you, and you never dominated him. But there were lines you never really crossed when it came to sex. He never pushed you too hard and you never tested him.

Until today.

"We have a deal." You mimicked his smirk as you toyed with the top button of his shirt. "But what do I get if I make it?" You tilted your head slightly as you freed the top button, working your way down.

He closed the gap between the two of you, his lips working gently against yours as he let out a shaky breath from your cold hands grazing his torso.

"You're already losing, baby." You smirked as you pulled away, giving him your most innocent gaze. "So much for being an 'oppa'." You whispered the last part.

His thigh finally pressed firmly against you, your pencil skirt riding up with it. You stiffened at the force but stayed quiet.

"It's a matter of pride at this point, baby." You smiled sweetly as you pulled his shirt down his shoulders, your fingers softly running over his arms in admiration. "If you want to be an oppa so bad," You paused as you licked your lips.

"Prove it."

"I just realized." He smirked as he used his free hand to pull his shirt completely off. "I've never called you noona to your face." He chuckled before getting up and walking backwards. "Only to others when I'm talking about you." He was leaning on the corner of the wall.

"Is this your way of accepting you're not oppa material?" You sat up, partially annoyed that he just up and left you.

"No." He said. "I was expecting you to follow." He turned and kept walking, his back disappearing from view. "The bed's bigger than the couch, y'know." He called out.

Your eyes squinted at the thought of what he was planning but you were also too worked up to care. You slowly got up and made your way to your shared bedroom, partially taken back when you saw the bed empty and Matthew standing by the door.

"Go ahead, noona, lay down. Get comfortable." He nudged with his head and you stared skeptically.

Despite your doubts, your hands moved to remove the skirt, your hips swaying as you pushed them down. You watched as he looked you over before you moved towards the bed and sat down.

"Pretty boy," You started as you removed your own shirt, smiling as his eyes went straight to your chest. "Noona doesn't have the same effect on me," You paused to slowly trail your hands behind you to undo your bra. You lightly tossed it off the bed before you were back on your chest, fingers gently running over your nipples as you whispered your next sentence. "As oppa does on you."

His jaw tightened as he watched you, and he was tempted to throw his whole plan out of the window. Sure, it was a stretch to think the word would work on you, but you miss all the shots you don't take.

"What can oppa do to me that I can't already do to myself?" You challenged as you rose a brow, your hands moving to your underwear and slipping inside. It was about time you got somewhere with this.

"Show me how much you can do then." His thumb was digging its nail into his index finger as he watched you. "But don't cry about it when you can't make yourself cum."

There was a minor truth to his words. Since the start of your relationship, you'd never needed to touch yourself or use your toys. He'd left you more than satisfied and now you were nervous your shit talking was about to backfire.

You moved back until you were snug against the headboard, your eyes darting towards the nightstand where your toys laid.

"Don't you think that's cheating, noona?" He tsked. "You said what you could do. Toys don't count." He smiled slyly. "Besides, the last time you used them, they were in my hand." He scoffed at the memory. "And you couldn't keep too quiet."

You momentarily forgot about the deal, and you scratched the idea. Your eyes fell back on his and you reached for the waistband of your underwear, slowly peeling them off before tossing them to the side. You didn't miss how his eyes traced every move you made, but you didn't call him out on it.

You didn't bother teasing yourself. Not only because you were already turned on, but this wasn't about getting off; it was about making him cave. It was also about being able to stay quiet. If you weren't committed, it'd be easier to win.

Your hands were quick to slide past your clit and into you. Your fingers weren't as long as his, giving you absolutely nothing. You let out a small, frustrated sigh.

"I heard that." He was quick to call.

"But you're not the one causing it." You countered. "So, it doesn't count." He rolled his eyes.

You were both too stubborn to cave, your egos too strong to want to admit defeat. But maybe he'd cave if you put a little more effort into your show. He was always quick to jump at a chance to please you.

When he saw you avoiding your clit, he knew you were stalling. His head tilted slightly as he watched your squirm from the lack of stimulation.

"I can help." His voice was sickly sweet, and your stomach tightened. "You know I'm better at this than you are." He moved towards you, slowly getting on the bed.

His words were proven true when he slapped your hand away, quickly replacing it with his own. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan, eyes closing when his thumb met your clit.

"You're all talk noona," He tsked. "I don't know why you make things harder for yourself."

You couldn't respond. You knew the second you opened your mouth, you'd make a sound that would count against you. You weren't even sure if he was keeping count or if you'd lose the second anything slipped out of you.

"What's wrong, baby?" He teased, using the same tone you did when you called him the same name earlier. He angled his fingers, a surge of pride flowing through him when a whine came out of you. "There she is~" He cooed, his thumb running harsh circles against your clit.

This was about getting you off. And his actions mixed with the way he looked down at you had you clenching. It was embarrassing how quickly he turned things around.

"Don't tell me you're cumming already?" He pouted down at you, quickly removing his hand, letting out a sadistic laugh when your fist balled up to keep quiet. "Where's the fun in that?" His fingers ghosted over your legs, the feeling making your thighs shake.

"Maybe I should make you beg me to let you cum." His eyes lit up at the thought. "You'd definitely be a mess at that point, no?"

"That's not fair." You were sporting your own pout this time while you tried to control your breathing. "So much for not cheating."

"Don't look at me like that noona." He tilted his head to the side, his fingers slowly making their way back to you. "All you had to do was say one little word but no," He cooed at you. "You wanted to make it interesting." He held back a laugh as you flinched when his finger ghosted over your clit. The corner of his lip twitching into a smirk instead.

"You could have told me you wanted me to call you that little word." Your voice was strained as he kept his contact light. "I would have done it, y'know."

His eyebrow rose, but he rewarded your hypothetical compliance with more pressure.

"Well, when you put it that way," He started, his finger working faster against you. "It makes this little bet seem worthless, no?" He licked his lips when your hand came up to grab at his forearm. "Too bad my ego's already bruised."

His free hand moved to grab your wrist before collecting the other one and pinning them above your head before his fingers were back in you. Same angle, faster pace.

You really chose the wrong button to push.

"C'mon, noona," He rasped when you immediately clenched around him again. "Just give up, already." His tone was softer, trying to coax you before leaning down and taking one of your nipples into his mouth. His teeth pulled at it while looking up at you. He let go, placing a kiss over your breast. "Wouldn't it be more enjoyable if you didn't have to fight it so hard?"

You let out a shaky breath. As much as you wanted to, something inside you refused to let yourself fail that easily. But at the same time, his fingers just felt too good.

"I know you're close," He groaned. "I can feel it." His eyes softened, pleading while letting out a moan of his own. "Just let go, noona."

His moan trigged something inside you and your legs shook as a pathetic cry slipped past you. You couldn't help the whines that followed while he helped you ride out your orgasm, his thumb hitting your clit intentionally. His hold on your wrists constant while he let you come down.

"Sounds like you lost." He chuckled and your eyes widened. You were about to cut him off and accuse him of cheating when he spoke up again.

"Did I take care of you?" He asked innocently, his hand slipping away from you and towards his mouth, his mouth covering them to clean them. His eyes stayed on yours until he finished. "In a way that Taekwoon couldn't?"

You didn't bother entertaining him. Too focused on trying to get your wrists out of his hold.

"We both know I'm stronger than you." His hold tightened and pushed your wrists further into the mattress as if to prove he wasn't using full force. "So, let's not embarrass you anymore."

"I'm not embarrassed. I'm mad you cheated." You narrowed your eyes at him. "Don't think I missed the mild overstimulation you tried."

He shrugged his shoulders, a sly smirk growing.

"It was an accident."

You fought more in his hold, wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.

"I'll let you go if you ask nicely." His smirk was now fully on display, giving your wrists another squeeze as if to remind you of the bet.

You both held eye contact as if the other would cave the longer you stared. He played dirty and you were still upset.

"If you say it, I'll give you a reward~" He cooed and you tried to buck him off of you, your face reddening as the situation wasn't in your favor. "Say the magic words and it's all over." He smirked, radiating pride as he watched you struggle.

"Let me go, please." You narrowed your eyes, still defiant. Even when he leaned back over you, his eyes right above yours.

"Try that one more time." There was a shift in his tone that had you swallowing hard.

You took a deep breath.

"Please, oppa." You said through gritted teeth. "Let me go."

You saw his lips tug again.

"Since you made me jealous earlier, don't you think it's fair I get to do the same?" He tilted his head and your eyes narrowed at him again. He debated on if his next sentence would land the way he hoped. "Say it the way Ji-"

"Oppa," You put some sweetness in your tone, a stark contradiction to the sudden strength your gained in trying to get out his hold. He was momentarily stunned before regaining control. "Please let me go."

"Well now I'm scared." He started.

"Don't be, oppa." Your eyes were already on the pillow to your side. At least he could die happy. "Why would you be scared of little ol' me."

"Actually. We can just chill right here." He nodded. "Neither of us have plans."

"Matthew." You started. "You have three seconds." You smiled up at him. "If you're such an oppa, I shouldn't be this scary to you."

He reluctantly let you go but was quick enough to jump to the other side of the bed to avoid you lunging at him. You were also just as quick to grab the pillow and make it on top of him, the pillow colliding with face.

"Who was she?" You said as you hit him again.

"I made up a name! I swear!!" He yelled before grabbing at the pillow and throwing it. His hands grabbing your wrists again when you reached for his shoulders. "Pinky promise." He tried, bringing your hands to his lips so he could press a kiss to them. "How can I make it up to you?"

You gave him a frown and moved to get up, his hands moving to your hips to keep you in place.

"C'mon~" He whined. "There has to be something."

He was too cute to stay mad at. You'd get him back later.

"You could start by joining me." You motioned to your naked form. You got up to give him space to work with.

"You gotta admit, though." He watched your face as his hands went for his belt. "Calling you noona did do something for you." He gave you a knowing look. "I've never made you cum that quick."

"Do you not remember you moaned when you said it?" You gave him a small slap against his chest while he threw his belt to the side. "And you did that thing where you made your eyes all cute." You slapped him again, his laugh filling the room. "You could say anything acting like that and I'd probably cave."

"Really, now?" He smirked at the confession, his hands moving to unbutton his pants, the sound of his zipper following. "Then forgive me for the jealousy thing." His eyes held the look you just described. He let out a small 'hm?' that sounded too much like a moan.

"Oppa was wrong."

[panpanghost]

Part 4 of this (I'm sorry, idk what I'm doing but so many people are interested in this and I'm trying to give you a proper au.)

So the crown was made by dark magic and making the curse required the sacrifice of an entire... kingdom... Would taking it off also require a sacrifice?

There's also something off about the translation, how come it doesn't say how to do the spell or undo it? Where is the rest of this? Maybe I can find something in the celestial realm, but I can't leave Moonpie alone here. They might return to take him and he can't protect himself... Maybe I can get MK to watch over him-

_"Wukong! Showers!" Macaque called from the hot bath tub, it's like a little swimming pool or a jacuzzi, being king is great.

_"Coming!" Wukong loves this. He can't wait to have Macaque wash his hair and untangle all the knots.

After Macaque lost his memories they shower together almost everyday. Sure, when Macaque first walked in on him in the showers he almost had a heart attack, but now that he's gotten used to it like before, it's so great and relaxing. To most creatures it's considered rude or invasion of privacy, but not to monkeys, they do that to show their bonds and love to each other. No one understands that, only Macaque does.

_"Where have you been? Get in." Macaque said already sitting in the water.

_"Sorry about that, little ones were having a fight." Wukong says undressing,

_"Again? These guys create trouble when there's none."

_"I know, right?" Wukong said relaxing in the warm water,

_"Don't get too comfy, someone needs to groom my furr."

_"So demanding." Even though he said that, this is Wukong's favourite part about the showers, Macaque loves his furr, sure it's not as thick and silky as it used to be but Wukong will make sure it gets back to its previous glory.

_"Hey Sunny..." Macaque spoke after a while, picking at his tail,

_"Yeh Moony?" It's been so long since Macaque used that nickname for him, he can't get used to it, his heart will explode.

_"I was wondering... Would it be okay if you take me to see the kid and his friends."

_"Wh-Why?"

_"I want to ask them something."

_"You can ask me."

_"I know, but you won't answer."

_"What are you talking about? I always answer."

_"No, you never do. I don't even know the kid's name because you won't tell me and won't let me meet him to ask!"

_"It's MK. Just calm down, no need to be so angry about it."

_"I am angry, Wukong. Why won't you tell me anything?! Why does he have your staff? Why is he radiating your energy?! Why is he even allowed to come here?! Is he-" Macaque takes a deep breath, "Is he yours?"

_"What? NO! nonononono no, he's not, he was just born from the same rock as me, that's all."

_"What?"

_"Listen, I gave him the staff because I want him to be my successor."

_"A successor? You're immortal, why would you need that?"

_"Because... Because I'm tired." Wukong let down his glamour as he said that and Macaque could see all his scars, it was silent for a moment,

_"oh Wukong..." Macaque watched in horror, he approached slowly in case his sun wanted him to stop, "life hasn't been kind to you, has it?" Macaque held his face in his hands,

_"..." Wukong just melted in Macaque's warmth as he kissed his scars, gently, one by one,

_"Who did this?" Macaque asked, looking in his king's eyes.

Wukong saw it, the same murderous eyes his moon had when he first saw the monk use the fillet on him. Wukong doesn't blame him, he had the same look on his face when he saw his moon drenched in blood and those assholes trying to abduct him. He'll kill them when he finds them.

_"He's gone, been dead for years now."

_"Hm. Lucky." Macaque said, a bit of disappointment in his voice.

_"Heh, forget about him, just, stay with me okay?"

_"Where would I go without you?" Macaque hugged Wukong, bringing him closer to his chest.

But you did, you left, and I didn't know where you were, you only came when the world was ending then disappeared again. But it's ok now, You can't leave. I won't let you.

_"Hey, do you think we'll have matching scars?" Macaque asked jokingly,

_"Why? Does it hurt?" Wukong yanked himself out of the hugg and held Macaque's head, is the crown crushing his skull?!!!!

_"No, it doesn't," Macaque held his hands, "I can't feel it most of the time, only when I try to use my powers. I was just wondering if it'll leave a mark, and then we can have matching scars."

_"Not unless you can pluck my eye out."

_"No use, it'll just regenerate."

_"Yeh, that would happen." Wait-

_"Let's get out of this shower, it feels suffocating and I'm hungry." Macaque got out of the tub, "Let's go."

My eyes regenerate, can I give him one-

_"Wukong!"

_"A! You go first, I'll just wash a little more then fallow you."

_"Alright, but just wash up, I'll groom your furr inside." Macaque said putting a towel on,

_"Ok." he gave Macaque a little smile as he left.

[sickly-qt]

Whatever you've got planned for Mila/Remy and Drew/Finn will be wonderful, but I have to admit I kind of hope Mila does get pregnant - the opportunities for Remy as caretaker are just so good, lol. And I feel like Drew and Finn are actually ready to step up to be parents themselves. But like I said, whatever you decide is great.

In the meantime, Mila has to catch Jules' bug and then pass it on to Remy, right? And Julian takes care of them both? Hmm?

AH I'm so sorry it took me so long to get around to this. But you are SO right, Mila totally has to catch Jules' bug (which happened here for anyone who missed it) and don't worry Remy isn't going to make it out unscathed he's going to suffer soon. However, for now it's Mila's turn.

I hope you enjoy!

~~~

“Feeling okay?” Remy asked, looking at Mila over his glasses.

She was coming down the stairs, her auburn hair damp and hanging in loose waves over her shoulders. What really caught his attention was the way her arms were wrapped around herself and the uncomfortable look on her face

“My stomach is upset.” Mila shrugged, then collapsed onto the couch and laid her head on Remy’s shoulder, looking at the iPad on his lap, “What are you working on?”

“Just putting together some projections for a meeting later this week. Boring stuff.” 

“Don’t you ever stop working, it’s 7pm on a Saturday. You should be paying attention to me and your kids.” She complained.

“By kids you mean the one who’s still sleeping off a stomach bug from hell and the other that can’t be bothered with me because she’s distracted by some new gadget my mom got her?” Remy teased, “I work when I can find the time, and right at this moment, my time is for you.” He closed his iPad case and set it on the coffee table before wrapping his arms around Mila. “You’re warm.” Remy pushed her hair away from her face.

“I am? That’s great, I’ve probably caught what Jules is recovering from.” Mila nuzzled in closer to his side and sighed, “I really don’t feel well.”

“I know, Love. Let me get you something for that fever.”

Mila took the pills with no complaints and promptly passed out on the couch while Remy cleaned up dinner and got Leah bathed and settled for bed. After all of his dad duties he returned to his boyfriend duties and sat on the edge of the couch in front of Mila, gently shaking her awake.

She scrunched up her face and groaned, clearly not happy with having been woken up. 

“C’mon, M. Let’s head up to bed.” He said quietly, tucking her hair behind her ear. He frowned, noticing the heat still radiating off her skin. 

“I feel sick,” she whined.

“Nauseous sick or fever and achy sick?”

“Yes.” she sighed, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

Mila slowly sat up and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth muffling a small burp. Remy looked at her with raised eyebrows. 

“I’m gonna throw up.”

“Now?”

She shook her head, “I’ll make it upstairs.” She hiccupped, then grimaced and swallowed hard.

“Okay, c’mon. I actually rather like this carpet down here.”

Remy walked behind her upstairs, his hand hovering by the small of her back as she made her way to their bedroom. 

He peeked in on Jules and Leah to make sure they were both sleeping before trailing Mila into the room where he found her hovering over the toilet in their en-suite. 

“How are we doing, Lovely?” Remy asked gently, filling a glass with water and sitting it on the edge of the sink before grabbing a claw clip out of the vanity drawer.

Mila shook her head, hiccupping. A small burp came up and she gagged a trail of spit hanging from her lips into the water. 

“I don’t feel good.” She stated the obvious.

“I know.” He cooed, gathering all her hair and twisting it up into the clip. Remy settled on the edge of the tub rubbing small circles across her shoulders. 

It didn’t take long for her spine to curl and dinner to make a reappearance in the bowl.

She coughed and sputtered, small burps wracking her until a larger wave came up quickly followed by another. 

“You’re alright, M. Get it all up.” Remy continued rubbing her back. 

Strands of her hair were coming out of the claw clip and he pushed them out of her face, his hand holding her forehead. 

“Ughhh, fuck.” Mila groaned, sniffling. She reached up and flushed the toilet, sitting back. 

“Want some water?” Remy asked quietly.

She nodded, “Please?”

When she drinks some water and keeps it down for a little while they move to bed, Remy sitting the trashcan near her side of the bed just in case. 

“I’m a big girl, I can make it to the bathroom.” She mumbled tiredly.

“I know, I know. It’s just in case, M.” He crawled into bed and she quickly curled up next to him, nestling her head in his neck. 

Remy was exhausted, holding Mila’s hair back as she puked into the trashcan for the second time that night. He could only imagine how tired she was. She had run out of energy to run back and forth to the bathroom after the third trip. 

Mila hiccupped and whined, water and bile trickling into the bin hugged to her chest. 

“This is hell.” She complained, “Can you hand me some water?”

Remy reached around her and grabbed the water bottle off of the nightstand, opening it before handing it to her. She took a couple sips before burping over the trashcan. 

“You’re doing great, Love. You’re a trooper.”

“If I keep puking I’m going to scream”

“As long as you keep drinking water I think we can avoid a trip to the doctor. I just don’t want you getting as dehydrated as Jules… your fever seems to be sitting around 100.3.”

Mila took a couple more sips of water and hovered over the bin for a couple more minutes before she sat it on the floor and laid back down with a sigh.

“I’m going to apologize ahead of time for when you catch this.” She said, staring at the ceiling.

“I’ll live, just like you will. Nothing could keep me from holding back your hair while you’re puking your pretty little guts up.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Mila rolled over, laying her head on Remy’s chest. 

“I’m serious.” He ran his fingers up and down her arm, “nothing in the world could keep me from staying up all night taking care of my vomiting girlfriend.”

“You’re ridiculous… I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Remy pressed a kiss into her hair, “Get some rest, Love.”

[hwarangs]

things about that scene i feel the need to point out/ part 1

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 23 thoughts

the previous episode was SO good. but, it is true, i was distracted by the dog. it was SUCH!! a perfect episode. EXCEPT for that one thing. so i hope that today, i can face this episode with a clear head, free of judgement based on the fate of little dogs.

well, boy, i did face this episode with a clear mind, and wow. wowza. another AMAZING ep... and i will keep the angst from this episode in my heart forever and bottle it and take a nice long swig when i need my msr feels, which is basically always. wow. an exclamation point doesn't even feel APPROPRIATE, it just needs to hang in the air for a bit. (wiping tears away) wow....

let us go back to yesterday's notes, which shall commence below:

reading the episode description... so this one features murders linked to a device that alters television signals… huh. man, too many people i know don’t even have cable anymore. this simply would not work in the modern era. imagine if hulu or tubi or something made you kill people though lmao that would be silly to imagine.

we open with a guy digging a hole in the woods. always a promising start. seems he’s in an orchard of some sort? and the music is very very creepy. 

okay, so just as you suspect, this dude is burying a dead guy. sometimes your gut instinct is correct and tropes are not meant to be subverted. but the dude who is burying him says “your killing days are OVER” so is this actually a justice arc??? hmm. it is not clear. man, it would be hard to dig a hole like that.

shovel murder man is at home washing the blood off. but then someone else approaches him and he kills THAT GUY TOO WITH THE SHOVEL?? huh? what is going on. 

police at da guy’s house. everyone has the same face as the dude he just killed??? so they tase him. and then the faces go back to their REAL faces. now what is going on here!!!!!!!!!!

as the real faces return, the man realizes he killed someone named sarah!!! and he seems sooo upset by the fact that he killed sarah!!!! poor sarah :(

so does the tv make you see other people’s faces on the bodies of random people….? omg that’s insidious...

we now shift to a different scene, one where mulder is sitting in his car at 2 am. doing what???? waiting for some guy!!! he was waiting TWO HOURS for this guy!!! who is this guy...? it's giving blind date/drug deal.

the man who enters his car gives him a newspaper clipping about the murders we just saw. and mulder came here after getting AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL in the middle of the night??? this is crazy because literally so many people want him dead and this would have been a very easy way to accomplish that goal. wow. seriously, no self-preservation instincts on this guy.

mystery man says he has no obligation to explain what is going on, but if mulder walks away from it, more people will die. so no pressure!! xx

cutscene to a hospital, where mulder is watching our murderer through glass, while scully comes in saying that she is sorry she is late, but “the beltway was a parking lot”. beltway refers to interstate 495! thank you wikipedia i love your services!

murderer is named joseph. and he claims to have been killing the same guy over and over again, and that he wouldn’t die. which seems pretty awful.

OH! and the week before, in the same town, a babysitter attacked the kids she was watching because she thought they were WOLVES??? omg that is horrific??

they’re talking to the physician, dr. stroman, who says perhaps this was provoked by amphetamine abuse. then joseph starts SCREAMING. he sees a guy on the TV- miriskovic- sorry y’all idk my post-soviet history 💔 (update: i googled it, i don't even think that guy was real because all the results are links to wikis on this specific episode... reveals how little i truly know)

anyway, seeing that guy's face on the TV seems to have triggered the screaming situation. does he have trauma from the country he used to live in and seeing references to it makes these things happen…? that would be a wild episode. put me in the writer's room and let me cook.

scully quickly picks up on the fact that this case is Weird, and mulder admits it came from some random guy, which makes her suspicious. but they go to the crime scene, and, like always, he lifts the crime scene tape up over her head, and it’s very charming despite the lack of sensibility in going down this whole rabbit hole.

the minute they get in, they hear screaming and a gunshot! but it’s just some kids watching TV??? eating popcorn in a crime scene??? LMAO WHAT?

mulder kicks them out and scruffs one of the boy’s heads... ohhhh he needs to be a father so bad huh... like i have been saying this since s1 he just has a Need to tease and spoil children. well, we can unpack that another time. there's crime afoot.

so he watches the tv and it starts to go all static-y because a guy outside is fixing the wires. scully finds a TON of tapes and they’re just shelves and shelves of cable TV shows!!!

“there must be hundreds of videos here”, she says, to which he asks “anything good?” <- idk why this made me giggle. it sounded like he was gonna put one in and chill for a bit lmao

scully starts to wonder if seeing the cable news, like joseph had recorded, was what triggered his episode back at the hospital. ooooh! a theory!!! 

cut to mulder watching a tape in the bed of his motel, making an absolute pile of sunflower seeds- this dude is gonna attract mice or something someday omfg- and also he has a cola which is peak american culture. LMAOOOO he has a HUGE pile of tapes on the floor i’m crying... my type A self could NOT deal with him!

he says he watched 36 hours of bernard shaw and bobbi batista and is now also ready to kill someone as scully welcomes him into her room, which also has cola but is much more nicely organized! she found something weird on the tapes from late april, each a night when he committed a murder 

AND WHY DID MULDER GET ALL COZIED UP ON HER COUCH?????? hooooooly fuck i have never seen such a baby girl of a man

OMFG??? all the reports from the murder nights feature that miriskovic guy!!!

so did seeing violence make him violent? mulder says no, and that theory assumes that “americans are just empty vessels, ready to be filled with any idea or image that’s fed to them like a bunch of pavlov dogs, and go out and act on it” oh if only this man could see the news lately……… insert ben affleck smoking a cigarette image here to describe the things we see in our current age. mulder you would not believe.

he’s really bashing her theory, but she’s saying maybe he was high and seeing these things sent him on a spiral- makes sense to me

he is leaving to go get some sleep (after admitting he can’t explain what is going on!!! which always endears me) but scully says she is going to watch the rest of the tapes… a herculean task for our girl

middle of the night and it’s still tape time for scully, but she hears the phone ringing. she hears mulder having a conversation. and he says “no, she doesn’t” which is weird… that is suspicious… what doesn't she...

scully chews her ice which is so funny because me too sometimes. she has chewed all of her ice and must fetch more. and get a cola ofc!!! nothing more american than a cold soda iktr!

but she sees mulder in his car??? lighting up with cig man???? HUH??? and handing over a tape? omfg this is crazy. i assume she is hallucinating though, because no way….

cutscene to a lady named helene watching “the price is nice” (lmaooo) and washing some dishes. but the soap in the dishes starts to look funny- and everything is glitching around her!!! she sees a man outside in a hammock… kissing a woman!!! and oh, she is furious!! she gets her SHOTGUN?? this has escalated very fast. and we hear some shooting!!!

scully is still very visibly disturbed. mulder is reporting the murder, but she seems like a shell of herself. she checks the ash tray in the car, and there is no ash… she notices the car has been moved and he says he got a paper…. why do you ask…. “nothing. it’s nothing” OHHH THIS IS JUICY

so the crime scene has a very bloody hammock. and a dead man, who the wife claims he saw in the hammock with a blonde. but the only other creature at the scene was a dog!!!

OH!!! the hammock man wasn’t even helene's HUSBAND??? this really is LAYERED!! she killed the NEIGHBOR thinking it was her husband, who wasn’t even in town!!!!!! how do you mess this up so badly?

despite the fact that scully is clearly suspicious of mulder, she is sharing the umbrella with him in their usual fashion, and the sense of tension this produces is delicious 

they go to investigate the crime scene and mulder finds some sort of bike and immediately climbs upon it while proclaiming that television does NOT cause violence (LMAOOO HE IS SO WEIRD i need him.) 

they find a bunch more tapes and AGAIN the same guy is messing with the cables outside while they're investigating!!!! mulder is in chase mode!!!! but he cannot chase this dude in the van!!! no man, even a track star such as him, can outrun a van carrying secrets!

scully is trying to fast forward the TV and she looks out to see mulder climbing the pole…. average day for a man like him. he finds a weird cable scrambler in there. she wants to send it to the crime lab, but he says he’ll do the analysis, and she should go interview helene the murderer. OH... she is so suspicious, she just wants to go home…. scully :((( mulder is deeply confused as to why she is being so weird 

so he takes the thingy to the lone gunmen, who say it looks like it’s used for blocking premium cable channels, which i didn’t even know was a thing, you learn so much with this show. but it doesn’t block anything!!! HOWEVER, if you compare a tv with the machine and one without it, the one with the machine is slightly different. hmm...

“you know how television works?” “yeah, you click it on, you have a picture” <- the man who said that line went to oxford btw

it seems that this cable blocker thingy is adding some sort of frequency, but they can’t tell what… hmm.

mulder on the road. scully calls and only asks “where are you” in this very flat and creepy tone and OH i’m scared!!!!

he tries to explain that there is some sort of signal being introduced to the tv- he even says she might be right about the tv inducing violence theory! but she isn’t answering… she hears a clicking, like they're being listened to, and she says he never went to the detective…. let’s wait and talk on a landline, he says.

despite being in his car many miles away, he can tell that there is something very wrong with scully. he says don’t go anywhere, he’ll be right there, and redials after she hangs up. it's very much echoing when she said something similar to him in his crazed gargoyle quest.

but she is so scared, she rips the phone out of the wall and takes it apart!!!! and then the lamp too, and the table. she is checking everything for any sort of bugs!

holy hell, we have never seen her like this before... but i’m actually gagged because she is usually relatively stoic and seeing her paranoid is so different, but it also feels very natural??? she is acting her ass off here as she rips up everything in this motel room. big shoutout to GA, i love your work.

and the static that set in helene's vision earlier is setting in hers now!!! she hears a car pull up and drops to the floor…. she hears a man say “she’s in here” and a pounding on the door. 

OMFG someone tries to open the door and she FIRES 4 SHOTS RIGHT AWAY??? but it’s mulder!!!!

(author's note: i was thinking after i finished the episode, and we know that she is a good shot- remember how she hit just the right angle to knock mulder out but not kill him at the end of s2? so she is either SO out of it that she cannot even aim straight, or there is a tiny tiny tiny part of her that still thinks that mulder isn't worth killing. please mull over which option brings you greater angst)

he’s coming in with his gun and his hair is blowing in the wind and he can’t FIND HER!!!!! it was really very dramatic. hair blowing in the wind has this effect.

cutscene to scully’s mom’s house, and we see a picture of young scully on the table... AWW stop she’s so cuuuute and one of missy as well 😭😭😭

OH! it’s mulder on the phone calling mrs. scully in the middle of the night!!! NOOOO he has to tell her that he doesn’t know where she is :( NOOOO poor mrs. scully has gone through too much. he feels SO bad breaking this news, that he even apologizes for hanging up right away, something he never ever does. he must be in deeeep distress to do such a thing.

and why does he hang up?? because SKINNER IS HERE!!! he’s leading a manhunt for scully, and mulder is saying she shouldn’t be hunted like a convict… but skinner says dude SHE FIRED FOUR ROUNDS AT YOU AND SOME RANDOM GUY last night!!!!

despite this, mulder insists that he can get her to listen to him if they just keep her safe; she’s suffering from some sort of paranoid psychosis. skinner is being quite patient as he tries to explain that the video tapes made her do it. skinner says well... you better find her before these guys do.

GASP!!! he’s putting up the x on his window! and doing that thing where he bounces his basketball because he cannot relax!!! stop i'm emotional!!!!!

the lone gunmen call to say they found something on the tape…. and it induces electrical activity…. MIND CONTROL???

but why wasn’t he effected?

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! HE’S RED-GREEN COLORBLIND???? THIS IS AN INSANE LORE DROP TO GIVE NEARLY 4 SEASONS IN??????

wait, is this just for plot purposes, or is DD actually colorblind and they decided to roll with it? because now i’m gonna be looking at all the red-ish things we see on screen (like his tie he is grabbing to emphasize his point) and wonder, can he see that? how does this impact his tie selection process....

okay that really threw me off guard. man, i was getting to think we'd never get another lore reveal, which is a shame because i quite like formatting those facts in that way. good to know we could get more at anytime!

he gets a phone call from maryland state police. the lone gunmen ask if she’s okay and he says no, he has to go and ID the body. WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! he is trying to keep composed. holy fuck………..

(heavy breathing as i grab your shoulder and squeeze) hey man. hey. he was trying so hard to be strong.

so he pulls up to the morgue and stops before he gets out of the car, and holds his head above the wheel STOP I’LL CRY???? i’ll cry… what are they putting him through??? losing her again……..

(i mean i have SEEN gifs of scully in seasons past this one, so i know she's gonna pull through, but HE doesn't know that, and must be reliving the worst days of his life AGAIN, and aughhhhh!)

but the mystery guy from the start of the episode that give him the info on the muders pulls up and says get in right now!!!!!! mulder is furious, he says he’s busy. in a shocking display of insensitivity, mystery man says he does not give a fuck. mulder is yelling that this is all his fault. mystery man says “they” are destroying the evidence, and they’ll finish it by tomorrow if he keeps searching for her, but he kicks the door shut and ignores him.

(omg…. he loves her enough to break him out of his bloodhound mode… the dogged ahab-like quest for answers and revenge… i’m getting flashbacks to his conversation with missy in one breath…….. realizing he needs to put the ones he loves before his need for revenge sometimes..... wow)

so he walks into the morgue, and the dude in there says they found a body nude and shot in the forehead.

he closes his eyes to try and brace himself before taking a peek, to prepare to see her lifeless, probably reliving those many hours by her bedside when she was in the hospital, trying to imagine her shot in the forehead, the scully he knows and loves with her dry humor and her teasing smile and caffeine dependency, the her that is so full of life, lifeless…

but it isn’t her. PHEW!

despite this being good news that he has to share- she's not dead! her mother isn’t answering her phone…. so he goes to her house. and i'm thinking, oh my gosh, did she do something rash in her grief?

but mrs. scully answers the door and claims dana isn’t here. he bursts in and says he needs to see her right now. omg, he saw right through her lies.

(also, it always feels weird to refer to her as dana, but moving on)

NO!!!! she has him at gunpoint and says he’s here to kill him!!! poor guy looks so flabbergasted… and her mom is trying to get her to please put down the gun, and he’s trying to explain what is going on!!! he is so singularly locked into her…. 

“he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the only one i trust” AUGHHHHH (rips my clothes off of my body in biblical levels of grief) 

“you’re one of the people who abducted me” AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (rips off not only my clothing but also my hair as i experience emotions that rival what job from the bible went through)

she’s CRYING, and saying he killed her sister while her mom gets between him and the gun… and she’s saying she knows she’s safe here, that’s why she came here, and to put the gun down. and she falls into her mother’s arms sobbing. 

WHAAAAAAAAT. and he had to watch all that… oh my scully oh my goodness my poor scully…

timeskip a little bit. he shows up to the hospital where scully is with her mother, and mockingly puts his hands up in surrender, because he is so STUPID and he always has to make a joke, and i love him so terribly, so so so terribly, because he loves HER.

she's laying in the bed, and he shuts off the tv and asks how she’s feeling. she says she is ASHAMED- as if being a victim of mind control was a personal failing. scully, i want to yell, you have NO REASON to be ashamed, let me take all the shame from you and carry it elsewhere. she says it was like the world was turned upside down.

and he makes ANOTHER stupid joke about the world being out to get him, and now she knows how he feels-

before leaning in and explaining how joseph, the first murderer on this case, became convinced he was killing the bosnian war criminal who people called “the modern hitler”, which was especially important to him because both of his parents survived the holocaust. hence his line about the killing days being over!!!

and helene was scared her husband would cheat on her. so somehow the TV signal turned their worst fears into a living nightmare. 

OHHHH HER WORST NIGHTMARE IS HIM BETRAYING HER. HIM BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR HER GOING MISSING AND LOSING HER AUTONOMY AND MEMORIES... wails into my shirt. 

(this reminds me of that episode in s2- irresistible- when we learn her biggest fear is that humans are capable of terrible horrific things and grasping to trust despite that knowledge. we’re seeing that again right here. how uncertainty seeps in)

THEY CALL HIM THE CANCER MAN!!! wow very official canon recognition of the name (yeah it’s happened before but it happened again so that is cool) anyway she says she saw him giving cancer man the tapes and reporting.

he says that maybe cancer man was behind this, but then he whispers “why don’t you try and get some rest?” and there is something in me that melts so entirely as he leaves her to sleep.

(perhaps it is the fact that hurt/comfort and whump are my favorite tropes. because is there anything more intimate than letting someone see you at your most vulnerable, and them choosing to love you at it? is there any feeling more cutting than seeing your loved one suffer and knowing you’d stop the world for an instant of their relief? the terrible desperation of both parties, the wordless connection upon recovery, someone being the last thing you see before everything fades to black and then the first person you see when you return... yeah. it’s cathartic. but also it makes me want to yell and cry. pls give me all the hurt/comfort content)

so the doctor found high serotonin levels in her that maybe can be associated with mania, but now they’re back to normal. he asks if someone in her situation would be diagnosed with amphetamine abuse, and she says no. then he quickly calls the hospital where joseph is staying… what is he cooking in there…

he wants to talk to joseph's doctor, dr. stroman, who left behind only a number from the motel…. and he had JUST checked out…. so he’s going through his stuff. and asking about his calls. and he DOES find a cigarette in his room but a lot of people smoke so… try not to jump to conclusions juni… but the cigarettes mean one thing in this show!!! was this innocent-looking doctor behind such a cruel experiment?!

he calls and has the last number the doctor called get checked from the folks at the lab… so he goes to visit the place of residence and creepy music is playing. the dude from the cable company we saw before rolls up!!! he walks right inside the house, so mulder peeks inside. it seems the people in the house set up a trap of some sort, as they are talking about “him” showing up at 7.

he bursts in after hearing gunshots and both of the men in there are dead!!! shot in the head!!!!

who is there... but X???? X says he HAD to kill those men- he just hoped mulder would get them first. and oh, mulder is YELLING AT X!!! he is letting him HAVE IT!!! he says he is a coward, he was too scared to unveil the situation with the mind control TV murders himself….. he says X NEVER risks his own life, but he sure does make him risk mulder and scully’s.

OH! he is holding X at gunpoint. all X is saying is that he failed, and that mulder needs him. so he walks out, confident he won't pull the trigger. and he doesn't. 

WHAT! i need to kind of just let that sit for a second. i need to figure out this X fellow, but i get the sense i never will…. he failed… because he chose to try and save scully…….

cutscene to skinner’s office, where mulder is giving him a report. and scully walks in and says that dr. stroman DIED IN 1978!!! when skinner asks about the killer, mulder jumps in and says he remains unknown… oh, skinner is def gonna pick up on that….

so now we see X in a random back alley. getting into a car…. WITH CANCER MAN?????? X REPORTS TO CANCER MAN??? he asks if he has completed his work, and X reports that he has cleaned out all the personnel, everything is removed, but mulder still has a device. and mulder’s source has been eliminated. but the source’s source remains unknown. oh, he’s def lying through his teeth.

OOOOOOH this episode was SO good.

oh man, my brain is racing in a bunch of different directions. scully breaking down and sobbing into her mother’s arms…. scully convinced that mulder is a traitor, that he did those terrible things to her…. mulder so scared that she was gone, bouncing his basketball, getting a call from the police department that he had to go identify her… choosing her, even in what he thought was death, over following the Truth… the sick and twisted relationship he has with X, and X with Cancer Man, and Cancer Man with the world… it’s making me think of how mulder broke into his house that one time, was going to kill him over what he did to scully, and cancer man had the nerve to say he liked mulder… OOOH my brain is just racing racing racing. 

poor scully… how scared she was, how horrified afterward… 

other things that are on my mind, in no particular order: the bond between scully and her mother; mulder being all babygirl on that couch; mulder hopping on that bicycle and picking up some random doll from the murder victim's house; how haunting scully's voice was when she asked him over the phone where he was; their cola drinking; mrs. scully trusting mulder no matter what; how he tried to cover the grief in his voice when he told the lone gunmen he had to go identify her body; how he kicked the door shut of the mystery man, damning the investigation to pay his respects; how his head hovered above the wheel of the car before he got out to do that; how X uses and uses him to no clear end, and what is HE doing reporting to cig man, and what was that random doctor doing conducted fucked up experiments on random people; and scully's miraculously bad aim; mulder's conviction he could talk sense into her (spoiler: he could not); her shame at being convinced he had been the one who abducted her; how terrifying that must have been; and his stupid jokes when he walked into her hospital room, with the sincerity he tries so hard to outrun and outfox breaking through in his whispered why don't you get some rest?

so needless to say, i see why this one is a fan-favorite. this is certainly one i will be revisiting in the future when i need something strong. i have a million things to think over that will stick with me Forever, and i am in no rush to move on from this. in fact, i took these notes yesterday, but in the process of editing them tonight, i have decided i am not ready for the season finale and will have to save it for tomorrow because i'm still feeling So Many Things. so stay tuned to see how that goes, because whew!

[pxme-granate]

I've been thinking about my florist/tattoo shop au too much, I'm getting attached

[alvojake]

if y'all need me I will be at the bottom of a canyon 🤞

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Trying to transliterate Leara's name into Quenya, and it somehow becomes, uh,

Lëarra

Which basically means "You Sealion!"

And I'm just, "Oh yes, this is That Sealion Woman, and she can breathe fire, as all sealions do."

If Leara, for any reason at all, needed an actual Quenya or Sindarin name for any fun Elvish shenanigans, we'll just use Calairie/Calearil, which is "Light of the Sea" in Quenya and Sindarin, and what Leara actually means.

[crowleyholmes]

Another apocalypse averted, God declared missing in action, Heaven and Hell's eternal conflict finally resolved for good, Earth and humanity saved once again, we return... well. Home.

And maybe, now, after everything, we can have peace. Just us.

It's been a long year, maybe the longest year so far (there have been rather more than six-thousand of them), but it's over. Well, almost. Christmas is coming up. Nina even put up the lights. She did it scowling and complaining loudly, but it was worth it in the end for how happy it made Maggie.

And now it's our turn to be happy. So let me return the favor, properly. Let me pull you close, and let me give you now what I couldn't give you then.

All of me.

Forever.

[pedros-immaculate-vibes]

I like them big, kind, deep-voiced, probably like middle-aged relatively speaking, really blunt if they don’t like you, and absolutely devoted to your cause if they do kinda end up head-over-heels for you

Oh and good with kids

[charliethemanticore]

Hi btw being trans does not automatically grant you supernatural understanding of all esoteric trans knowledge. You actually need to put effort into learning or put effort into keeping quiet about things that don't pertain to your specific experience

[hecoxthirst]

Thank you so much @punk-gremlin for the tag. For those who don't know how this works, you post the first and last lines of your ten most recent fics (if you have that many fics) 1. Can I guess who kissed me? Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Courtney was the one to bring up the idea for the first time." and "This is the happiest he’s ever been."

2. Alone doesn't suit you Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Ian has been stressing about today since Anthony agreed to meet." and "Anthony nods and places a kiss to Ian’s temple." 3. Sharing bed like little kids Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Sharing a bed with an older version of Anthony feels so odd." and "He wouldn’t want to belong to anyone else." 4. Ivy and forget-me-nots Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Everyone in the world is born with a little bud drawn on their inner wrist." and "Without having to think about it too much, he just does the most natural thing he could do. He kisses his soulmate." 5. Careful what you wish for Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Anthony gradually wakes up." and "Turns out he can get adult Anthony flustered too, after all." 6. No thoughts, head full (of cum) Eddie Clayton/Charlie Ross (Ghostmates) "Charlie is quietly focusing on his work, doing some line art on his new tablet." and "He... has a feeling he’s going to be thinking about this experience for a long time." 7. Good girl Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Ian feels like he’s perfected the fifties housewife look at this point." and "He leans in and connects their lips." 8. Oh let me use you baby, I love you Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "Anthony’s on his bed, hand in his pants, trying to picture touching his girlfriend." and "Whatever is going to happen, he knows they’ll get through it together." 9. A part of me that will never be mine Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "There’s something familiar about this scene." and "So then, why does he desperately wish he could wake up?" 10. What if you closed your eyes Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla (Smosh) "It’s a quiet afternoon, Ian sits on his couch listening to Anthony recount what was going through his mind when they shot the Who Slapped Me video." and "To have Anthony like this, the way he has him now? He’d endure all that and more." I don't know how many people I'm supposed to tag, or who to tag for the matter. I don't know who in this fandom has already done this, but I assume everyone 'cos everyone is just tagging each other lol So I'm gonna throw in a bunch of my friends from my older fandoms! @zeldahime @prewar-james @khazadspoon @feral-teeth @blondeforyou @commander-kiranerys If any of you have already done this or have no interest in doing this feel free to ignore <333 ily guys

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

poetry. putting under the cut bc potentially triggering mention of suicide/ideation/sh.

The days they pass like wine

The nights like drunken grief

I wash with stuff unclean

And wonder why I fail.

I go to God with hands outstretched

Receive an answer faint and dim

"Come to my arms and take from me

The water fresh and pure

Wash out the bad and all the dark

And live as you were born."

Hands, my hands are scarred and frail

They reach and trembling drop

An inch away he holds the stuff

And I collapse and cry.

I cannot reach so far as some

Can limp not stride or dance

God helps the weak, but what of me

I try and yet, I fail.

A thousand times I've made a plan

A hundred times I've cut

Look at my hands, and look, my side

My self-made saviour, self made weak.

The pain is never great enough

To clean the sins I've done;

To die in awful agony

Would fit the one I am.

The plans I burn, like I would burn

If my mind had its way

Delete them from my little world

As I too would be gone.

A thousand times I've made a plan

Some days I make a few

The easy, not the best, idea

A coward I'd be. Coward I am.

The pain is never great enough

To clean the sins I've done;

Yet God be thanked he sent his Son

And self made man must fade.

The knife, it tempts

And death, it beckons

The world is hard and living harder

And pain then seems the only way

But ever there is God, so close

Saying, "Come and trust me

Let go of all, and fall

And fall out of your own desires

Into safety, truth, and love."