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slaaverin · 2 months ago

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I feel like we’ve collectively moved on too fast from ‘Are you Sure’?!. Maybe we’re too overwhelmed?

Just wondered what your favourite part was? What shocked you? And what you would have changed ?

Jikookers have always had a tendency to move on from absolutely everything at tremedous speed which baffles me. There are still moments from years ago that still shock me to this day. I think it's because we've always been spoiled rotten by jikook 😂

I'm actually glad to get your ask.

A favorite part is soooo hard to choose, but I think what I liked the most was seeing their general happiness in Sapporo. They were SO happy and SO excited and played in the snow like children, it was quite beautiful to see. It's the trip that meant the most to them and it showed. But I also liked the chaos of Connecticut 😂

I was shocked many times. First with this:

THIS MOMENT.

I was gobsmacked. A slap in my face. Because this statement right there is irrevocably romantic. You can't spin it any other way. There is no blurred lines. There is no alternative. There is no other reason his heart is fluttering. Jungkook right there confessed to the world he is in love with Jimin. AND PEOLPLE DISMISS IT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. I'm????? People really see what they want to see. There, he said it. He said Jimin simply holding his shirt is evoking romantic feelings in him. He is attracted to Jimin. And he said it in a very calm collected tone like this is another tuesday. Like this is a known, accepted, normal fact that would not surprise Jimin. He's just informing him. But this is not shocking news. IT TELLS EVERYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk but moving on:

This whole segment was very shocking to me, not because they were particularly close (they are a couple so it's expected) but I was shocked to see they did this in front of a whole group of staff sitting in front of them who would be wondering what the f is happening. To show this level of closeness to a bunch of people you need to have such a high level of trust in each other and in the relationship. They are comfortable enough to show physical closeness and not be bothered one bit with anyone watching them which in itself is very disconcerting because that is not usually the case even in normal people long-term relationships, at least not to this level

The simple "This is see-through" phrase from Jungkook to a Jimin with a devilish smile ready to do mischief was very shocking to me. What was he about to do that deserved this warning? The only explanation would be that Jimin was about to get too close to him physically in the pool. But why would he do this as friends? Friends playing around would not have warranted such a warning. Because no one would have even thought about anything in particular.

But JK needed to warn him anyway. Only reason? If they are a couple and Jimin was about to get *CLOSE* like couples do in the pool. Which he was about to do looking at his devious smile. He was about to do something at least. Something that could not pass as friendship otherwise Jungkook would have said nothing. Much to think about.

He blurted it. Like it just came out so naturally. Jungkook has no chill whatsoever. This man is flirting blatantly in front of the entire world. While Tae was there. How could beautiful clouds even compare to Jimin. Jungkook only sees Jimin and he doesn't care for anyone to know about it. It's just what it is. Jimin or nothing. Everybody else can go home. Thank you Jungkook.

Of course one of the most shocking:

I already made a quick post about it but this was...this was....I have no words to this day. Can you believe we saw this? THE LEVEL OF INTIMACY. THE QUIETNESS OF THE MOMENT. THE KNOWING.

They knew. We knew. No one said a word. We were all intruding. I was frozen and holding my breath, my mouth wide open with shock and my heart was beating in my chest and I had to pause afterwards because this was jawdropping.

And I've seen many people that did not get it. But with everything we know about jikook thus far, everything they have been through, the growth, the ever expanding love, this moment was incredibly special and in a way quite emotional to witness.

This is their normalcy. Sharing a bed and intimacy and physical and emotional closeness.

AND THEY LET US SEE IT? CAN YOU BELIEVE? THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE!

If you told me in 2018 we would witness this, I would not have believed you. This is beyond my wildest imagination. This is not even about the fucking butt-slap. It's the whole mood of the scene. It's the tenderness. I was on the floor.

I think this is the most shocking thing I've seen as a jikooker including MMA 2018.

This was shocking. Not the act itself. The shock was in the hesitancy of Jungkook. Of Jungkook allowing himself to share this tender moment with Jimin in a train full of people in Japan (of all places, where people don't show intimacy in public) but this moment was too important for Jungkook to pass it up and he almost didn't do it but then he thought fuck it and let himself go completely. What a beautiful and meaningful moment. How special and precious 💜😭

This was a really insane moment too. Jikook being tangled together god knows how in this car and Jungkook looking drunk on love showing off Jimin like a proud and posessive boyfriend. Just wow. I certainly didn't expect this but I can't say I'm not happy 🙊 They couldn't look more like a couple here

I'll finish with this picture that really shook me. Jimin's name on JK's chest. I don't know what else to say. If people wanted them to spell it out, well this is spelled out, literally. It's all here.

There were so many great moments and I feel we could talk about it for hours but I'm gonna wrap it up.

My last answer is probably gonna pin me as a hater but honestly I don't really care I know where I stand. What I would have changed to AYS would have been Tae not coming to Jeju. Look, I love Tae, I have no issues with Tae, and jikook were fine with it so this was fine, but I felt sometimes uncomfortable because I felt his presence was a bit misplaced, and you could feel it in jikook's behaviour too, so Jeju had a bit of an uneasy feeling to it. I think Tae didn't add anything more to the show. I would love to see more of Tae in any other setting, I love him in group settings in general, but I simply felt it was a bit of a wrong place wrong time situation. But I still enjoyed Jeju a lot it was just not my favorite.

Otherwise there would be nothing I would have changed to AYS. (Maybe Jimin not suffering this much? 😂)

Anyway thanks for your ask I had fun and take care anon 💜

#jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #ays #travel show #ask

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tiredsurvivoronmain · 8 months ago

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When they were talking about Wesker, I can't help but when he said this to Jill (when she said it was like living in a nightmare being controlled), I think he was also talking about himself when he said this.

He had only just opened up to her about Piers (apparently the first time he's told her about him years after his death), and it almost felt as if he was confessing his guilt/loss and that he had planned on retiring, Piers being the one to take over from him. He looked vulnerable telling her, the way he held the water bottle with both hands as if he needed something to hold and ground him, like it took real effort to open up (he's still affected by Piers' death). When it came to Wesker, him 'opening up' carried over and he may have confessed how he felt about Wesker still being in his mind, memories and nightmares. It could have also been Piers he was having nightmares about and he struggled to come to terms with the loss. Not necessarily in a romantic sense but it's obvious losing Piers hit him hard. However his relationship/rivalry with Wesker was longer and more intense, it would make sense that he'd still feel that connection to him like an old scar that won't fade and gives him pain. He also uses replicas/weapons that were Wesker's, if he wanted to be done with Wesker, why use them at all? Would he have not had other alternative weapons to choose from? Wesker's dead (as far as he's concerned) yet he still has that connection to him. If he was the one who commissioned the series of weapons or was the one to name them after Wesker... Did he do it to honour his memory? Or that he wanted something of Wesker or that connection with him to stay? And what would Jill have thought of it? Chris using replica weapons of the man that controlled her and made her live a nightmare? "And if you're not careful, it'll swallow you up." Perhaps he said that because that's what has happened to him, that the nightmares of Wesker have consumed him or had at one point consumed him.

The why he looked and acted empty after killing Wesker, you'd think he'd be happy or relieved it was over like the others were. Maybe he was at first but after a while the emptiness began to settle; he trained for so long to fight Wesker, he had a purpose and a goal. When Wesker was gone it left a void that needed to be filled. But something that had such an impact and influence on his life would have left him feeling empty. In a way, he killed part of his identity that day.

Then there's this scene in RE6

WHY was Chris prepared to die because he killed Wesker? As if he felt guilty or regretted it? He didn't know Jake personally, he didn't try to defend his actions or explain that Wesker was trying to destroy the world. Yet he willingly confessed and felt he deserved to be shot for killing him.

It took Chris a strangely long time to answer, why did he have to even think it over? He wanted to take Wesker down for personal reasons and because he was ordered to, it should have been a quick and obvious answer. My guess is that he was having flashbacks to Wesker, possibly his final moments. The way he sounded when he answered was as if he had no choice but to kill Wesker, that it wasn't for the same personal reasons he had before. He had to kill him in the same way of putting down a rabid dog, to protect people and to put it out of it's misery/pain. "I had to, he wouldn't stop. He was beyond saving."

Whether he felt actual guilt/regret for killing Wesker or it was merely a very dangerous tactic to get through to Jake, it's hard to say.

Ironically, there have been many occasions Wesker has aimed a gun at Chris and never fired, not even to miss for plot or as a warning. Jake, his son, did what Wesker couldn't in his 10 years of rivalry with Chris.

And of course, this scene in the RE1 remaster.

I've talked about this in another post but long story short, he still cared about Wesker despite being betrayed by him, that just moments ago shot Rebecca. Chris laughed and mocked him seconds before and was held at gun point, but the moment Wesker got attacked he immediately tried to help/save him. He cared.

And he still did, even after his death. Using Wesker weapon replicas, protecting and defending his son, possibly still having Wesker's STARS knife from the events of Code Veronica...he needs to have something of Wesker to be part of him. Whatever his reasons, despite all the pain, anger and hatred, he refuses to let him go and let the past be buried. He is both haunted and embracing the ghost of Wesker. The longer the absence of Wesker goes on, the more Chris is changing. Deep down he may have been hoping, wanting, Wesker to come back. 10 years pass and there's still no sign of him, the realisation turning into grief and regret. Wesker gave Chris purpose (just like how Chris gave Wesker purpose), now that purpose was gone, things just aren't the same anymore and there's nothing he can do to get him back. Wesker may have been right after all; their fates really are forever intertwined.

#chrisker #chris redfield #wesker #albert wesker #analysis and theories #long post

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fangirlingpuggle · 5 months ago

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So more thoughts on Jack and Omi alignment swap AU (other posts are here 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5) and if canon and AU crossed over. Sorry this is rambley and long.

So canon monks, Jack, Wuya, Chase and Dojo are all transported to AU while another fight at the temple portal appears and they all fall through only to see a different Jack in temple robes with black coat and goggles on over with Dojo around his neck.

Everyone from canon is just so confused and Swap!Jack is like

Swap!Jack:IT WORKED I told it would work Dojo

Swap!Dojo:I never said it wouldn't work I said you shouldn't do it

Swap!Dojo: God this is just like Dashi

Swap!Jack: Thank you!

Swap!Dojo:NOT A COMPLIMENT!

Everyone confused, even more so when other monks come in and then Wuya of all people who just stares at alternate selves and then takes a deep breath "Jack...The FUCK?"

Swap!Jack explaining about dimensional shifting Wu

Swap!Wuya "Why would you make this?"

Swap!Jack "....to see if I could"

Swap!Wuya "You are the second coming of Dashi what I do to deserve this?"

Swap!Dojo "Other than the trying to take over the world multiple times things"

Swap!Wuya"Ugh loads of people have tried to conquer the world and they don't have to deal with Jack"

Of course Canon Wuya is freaking out over Swap Wuya

Wuya: YOUR XIAOLIN WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU"

Swap!Wuya: Please i'm neutral at most

Wuya:....

Swap!Wuya:That's my story and i'm sticking to it

Omi's asking where alternate him is and the swap monks recognizing him and being like 'WTF how are you a part of the team or even Xiaolin... I mean your dad allowed that?'

Omi just confused he doesn't have parents and all the swap Monks are just looking between Chase and Omi trying to figure out what to say.

Luckily distracted by canon Jack asking Swap!Jack why he's a Xiaolin loser and not an evil boy genius

Swap!Raimundo: Holy shit he's more of a dork then you... I didn't that was possible... no offense man

Swap!Jack:No i'm with you on this one

Cue canon 'jackbots attack' only for dragon of metal Jack to use his powers to rip the Jackbots apart and leave canon Jack staring in despair and How can you do that?Why can't I do that?How??and Swap!Jack gloating (Victory dance and all) 'Oh yeah evil boy genius ha I'm the genius Xiaolin dragon of metal maker of shen gong wu and wrecker of your shit!'

Swap!Raimundo:... Never mind ours is just as dorky

Cue swap Omi and Chase showing up because sensing weird Chi and power and what the fuck has spicier made now? Which leads to canon Chase and Omi staring t the other versions of themselves and Swap!Omi calling Swap!Chase dad.

Canon Omi is trying to process this when Swap!Omi sees him and instantly is so excited and talking at him 'Other version of me? SO cool! How strong are you? What are like? Do you want to fight?'

At this point Swap!Wuya is just like 'Ok how can you send them back'

Swap!Jack: ummmmm

Swap!Wuya:Jack

Swap!Jack:...I mean reversing mirror might work.... or it may make our universe implode...

Swap!Wuya:...

Wuya:Holy shit it is just like Dashi

Swap!Wuya: I KNOW RIGHT

Cue Canonverse hanging around temple and many questions

Kimiko:How do you know all about all these Xiaolin techniques, and all the elemental stuff

Swap!Wuya:... you brats do know I was the previous dragon of earth right?

All canon monks and Jack:WHAT?

Swap!Wuya: Oh fucking hell how much do you know about previous dragons?

All canon monks and Jack:...

Swap!Wuya:... sit down listen up and remind me to write a note for your 'teacher' for when you brats go back.

Also

Monks:So Omi is still dragon of metal but Heylin in this world does that mean Jack is still dragon of metal in ours

Swap!Wuya:Yeah probably, every generation has dragons for all of the 5 elements

Jack:Then why don't I have metal powers!?

Swap!Wuya:Eh sometimes not all dragons powers manifest I guess, normally only 4 do why only 4 monks trained

Jack:...I feel robbed

(Somewhere in both canon and AU Jermaine dragon of wood sneezes)

Anyway after Swap! most of the monks spend time sparring with alternate more chaotic versions of themselves and Jack.

Omi ends up going to Chases Palace, basically kidnapped by Swap!Omi who wanted to fight/play. Of course Chase also goes to see Swap!Chase which leads to a very very tense. Swap!Chase is not happy with the idea of his son growing up at that temple and not being protected, he's also majorly pissed canon Chase let Omi go into the Yin-Yang world. He's upset any version of his little one was even in the same world as Hannibal Roy bean. (In swap world when the yo-yo was revealed he contacted Wuya told her Hannibal was sealed there and general agreement no one goes in there it is one of the Wu that is totally sealed away in the Xiaolin vault not even the chaos gremlin monks go near it)

Swap!Chase is insulting Chase and how he isn't worthy of having Omi as his son, canon Chase is one second from snapping and it being a full on dragon brawl when suddenly canon Omi jumps in and starts squaring up to Swap!Chase defending his Chase. Which leads to Swap!Omi jumping in to defend his dad.

So it's just the 2 versions of Chase watching as the Omi's argue other which Chase is better it's the my dad is better than your dad/my dad could beat up your dad only there dads are alternate versions of the same person.

This is still going on when the others turn up because they ahve a way home and everyone just watching the 2 Omi's argue at each other and look 1 second away from going full on I will destroy you fight. It's then when both Chases just go and scoop them up (With both Omi's looking over their respective Chase's shoulders giving each other death glares).

No one comments or knows how to comment on the fact canon Chase doens't put down Omi even when they get to the temple and the portal to their world appears.Or that Omi is just hugging his neck.

The swap monks are just like 'this is normal for us' and Swap!Wuya just watches them shaking her head "I guess some things are the same in every universe"

Jack:WHY ISN'T ME HAVING COOL METAL POWERS THE SAME?!

Swap!Clay:Hey Jack, isn't the whole reason your boots even work cause you were unknowing;ly using your metal powers on em?

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Clay: So other you does have the powers then

Swap!Jack: Yep

Swap!Kimiko: Think we should tell him that?

All swap Monks:... Nah this is funnier, let him figure it out

Sorry this is long and very dumb.

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badkitty3000 · 3 months ago

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You Can't Go Home Again

Chapter 5

Link to Chapters 3 and 4

Link to Chapters 1 and 2

Link to Chapter 6

All Five wants to do is rest. But when yet another apocalypse threatens to doom them all, he doesn't have that luxury. This time, the only solution for the Hargreeves to try and save the world is to unite Five with another, alternate version of himself.

Five starts to spiral when he is faced with the alternate life that he could have had, if only he hadn't gone and ruined everything. But maybe, just maybe, there's still time for him to obtain the happy ending he deserves.

An alternate season three rewrite for a request I received.

Warnings: None

More chapters will be posted as I continue writing this multi-chapter fic. Enjoy!

Chapter 5: You Can't Go Home Again

“I don’t know, I don’t think he’s doing too well.”

“Yeah, even before we got here, he’s not been looking great. I think he’s drinking way too much.”

“That much booze plus no sleep, topped with his size? It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Should we help? Or at least say something?”

“Ha! Ok, sure, I volunteer you to go down there and broach this subject with our very temperamental and homicidal brother. I’m sure it will go over really well.”

“Well, we should do something. I feel bad for him. He’s been through so much.”

“It’s Five, he’s fine.”

“We can’t just keep saying that. Yes, it’s Five, but he’s clearly not fine and hasn’t been for a while.”

“What are we supposed to do about it? Send him to Junior AA? Maybe throw in a good six months of psychotherapy while we’re at it? We don’t have time for all of that.”

“Look, this isn’t the right time or place to be discussing this. We need to get home and then we can deal with it.”

“And what if we don’t get home? What if we end up somewhere else again? He’s going to really go off the deep end. I just don’t think he can handle another major mishap.”

“I’m not saying we don’t need to offer some help; I’m just saying that this is not the time to do it. There’s too much on the line right now. And you know he’s going to freak the fuck out if you try and bring it up, or even so much as offer any help. Just let the two of them figure this out first.”

“But we’re all in agreement about getting him some help once we’re back home, right?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Good. Because I don’t want to see him hurt himself or worse because he can’t handle normal life once all of this is over. We already lost him once before; we don’t need a second time.”

“I think the old man deserves a little happiness in his life. Seeing all of this and what could have been…it must be killing him.”

“You’re the one that called him a dick to his face this morning.”

“Well, he is a dick! But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.”

“Me, too.”

“Same.”

“I think we all feel that way. Yes, even you, Lila, stop rolling your eyes.”

“On a different subject, are you guys hungry? Cause I’m starving.”

“What else is new?”

As the conversation swung in a different direction regarding food and how much Luther eats in one day, Five stepped back into the kitchen. He had come upstairs to clear his mind a little, and to also get some more coffee. He had actually wanted something much stronger, so he had been trying very quietly to search around in the cupboards for anything that would fit that bill. His siblings, who he had been trying to avoid, had been in the living room when he overheard them discussing his current state.

Hovering in the doorway, listening to their concerns, he glanced down at the bottle of cooking sherry in his hand. He swallowed hard as the shame began to wash over him. They were right; he was a dick. They didn’t even feel comfortable coming to talk to him about any of this because they were afraid he’d go fucking crazy on them. Which, Five realized, was entirely true.

He knew he had a problem; he wasn’t in denial. He had a lot of problems, actually, that was pretty obvious. But they also had another good point, and that was that they just couldn’t dive into all of that right now. Five was on borrowed time. They all were. And if they were going to make it out of this timeline in one piece, and restore things back to how they should be, then he couldn’t waste time sharing his feelings and getting a group hug.

With another wistful look at the bottle in his hands, he returned it, unopened, to the cupboard where he found it. He and his other version had been making really good progress, and he didn’t need to slow that down by getting wasted; no matter how tempting the thought may be. Filling up his coffee cup, he blinked back to the basement before he could change his mind.

*************************************

“Fuck, I think I have it,” the other Five said quietly while he adjusted some dials on the apparatus he was messing with. “I need a different screw driver. There should be one in that top drawer, can you hand it to me?”

Five opened the top drawer of the desk, moving various papers aside to try and find the screwdriver. When he came across a file folder, he picked it up to look underneath. Seeing the tool he needed, Five picked it up, but also accidentally dropped the folder so that all of the papers inside went fluttering to the ground.

“Damn it,” he muttered as he tossed the screwdriver to his other self and bent down to pick up the papers.

The other Five was not paying attention, since his focus was on his work at the moment, so he didn’t realize what had happened. As Five started collecting the papers and shoving them back in the folder, he noticed that a lot of them were newspaper clippings. As he inspected them more closely, Five saw that each one of the articles had to do with their father.

“Eccentric Billionaire And Former Olympian To Dedicate New Hospital Wing!”

“Reginald Hargreeves Debuts The Sparrow Academy: Meet Our Heroes”

“Hargreeves Institute Of Art Grand Opening Friday”

“Another Crime Ring Thwarted Thanks To Reginald Hargreeves And His Sparrow Academy”

“The Hargreeves Diet! Learn Reginald’s Secrets To A Healthy Lifestyle!”

Intermixed with the articles were hand-drawn schematics of the Academy, as well as a few crudely drawn ones of The Hotel Obsidian. Five recognized the drawing style and handwriting as his own.

Holding the folder up, he asked quietly, “What is all this?”

When his other self finally raised his head to look, his face paled for a moment before his eyebrows furrowed with anger. “It’s nothing that concerns you, so don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I think it does concern me considering you ARE me.”

“It’s irrelevant to what we’re working on now, so just drop it.”

Five looked down at the folder with concern, before setting it back in the drawer where he had found it. After another minute of silence, he spoke again.

“Listen, I’m not sure what you’re planning here, but…”

The other laughed contemptuously. “No, you don’t. You actually don’t know anything about me.”

“I do, though. Because—”

“Yeah, yeah…because you’re me, I get it. But just like I am not sitting around here wallowing in self-pity and drinking myself stupid, you don’t understand what I have going on, either.”

Five hesitated. That was all true, but he still didn’t like the idea of some weird obsession with their father. “Does Marie know you collect all of this stuff?”

The other Five slammed his palm on the table, rattling all of the parts lying on top. “Don’t fucking talk about my wife!” he yelled.

“Jesus…calm the fuck down. I’m not saying anything about your wife. But fine, I’ll drop the subject.”

“Good.”

After a few more seconds of uncomfortable silence between the two men, Five rejoined the other one at the table. “Looks good.”

The other him nodded as he used a small pair of pliers to tighten one more coil. “I think that should do it.”

“What do you think? Should we power it up?”

The two Fives looked down at the prototype for their time-travel device. As they had discussed earlier, it was small and portable with a wrist band so it could be worn as a watch. The current design had multiple dials to configure the exact date and time the traveler wished to go. They had agreed that it should also be stylish, so as to avoid any unwanted attention to it. The end result resembled a kind of large diver’s watch with a sleek design.

“Might as well give it a try. If it doesn’t work, we’re going to have to start at the beginning again. If it does…well, then we can build an exact replica so that we each have one.”

With a nod, Five took a deep breath. “Alright, then. I figure if we both channel our powers at the same time, we have a better shot.”

“Agreed.”

As Five watched his other self start to attach a pair of jumper cables to the device, he ran a nervous hand down the back of his neck. “Just so you know, the last time I tried to hot-wire something, not only did it not work, but I almost fried my nuts off.”

Still not looking up, the other Five shrugged. “Well, I don’t have a better idea, do you?”

Shaking his head, Five sighed. “No, not really.”

Once the jumper cables were hooked up properly, Five was handed his two ends of the cables. He swallowed nervously and exhaled a loud breath of air. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m doing this again.”

“Ok, on three?”

Five nodded.

“One, two, thr…”

On cue, both Fives’ hands glowed with pulsating blue light as they worked on channeling as much of their power into it as possible. They watched as the light traveled slowly along the cables until it reached the watch-like device. As soon as their power made contact with it, the charge reversed itself, up through the cables again and back into their hands. With a loud, strangled yell from both, the Fives gritted their teeth and held tight. The current that was coursing through their bodies was being fueled and refueled by their continual release of power as it created an endless loop of electricity and pain.

“Hold…on...” Five instructed through a tightly clenched jaw. “Keep…going…”

As the other Five grunted with pain he hissed out, “I know…dipshit…just…shut up…”

“Fuck…you…” Five gasped in between clipped groans.

As they worked through the intense pain, they each kept their eyes focused on the watch between them on the table. The electrical current was passing through it, causing it to pulse with the same blue energy of their power. The longer they held on, though, the longer the pulses lasted. Finally, as they were both contemplating letting go before they really did fry off any crucial body parts, the glow became constant. The watch was now emitting its own bright blue light. With a slight nod to each other, the Fives let go of the cables, letting them drop to the ground as their bodies folded over, leaning heavily on the table with both hands. With harsh, loud breaths, they gradually worked through the pain and exhaustion of what they had just been through. After a minute, they glanced over at one another with a small, knowing smirk. Then Five looked down at the watch.

“I’ll be goddamned…I think it worked.”

The watch continued to glow blue, just as it had been when they were channeling their powers into it. This was a good sign, because it meant it had been fully charged and theoretically would not need any more pain-fueled jumps to get it going. That was all speculation, though. It would require a test drive to see if they had actually calibrated everything correctly.

With both of them still reeling from the pain and trying to catch their breath, they sat down and stared at the device. They were each thinking the same thing, because it was the only thing to think. Who was going to test it?

Each of them had been through the disastrous results of botched time travel in the past. It was something neither one of them wanted to experience again, but the choice was obvious.

“I’ll do it,” Five said simply.

His other self creased his eyebrows together and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why should you do it?”

“Well, if you can’t figure that out, you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Five sighed heavily, running a hand down his face. He was just so damn tired and he needed a drink. But this had to come first. And it had to be him.

“Look, asshat, I’m not exactly thrilled about throwing myself blindly through the vacuum of space and time again. I’ve been doing it way too often lately, and each time I fuck something up. But it has to be me and I think you know that.”

The other Five huffed, pushing his hair off his face and tipping his head back with a sigh. Then he looked at Five and gave a small nod of understanding. He did know. There was no way he could risk the jump with an experimental time travel device. Not if there was even a chance of getting lost and leaving his kids and wife behind.

“Alright then,” Five said with a terse nod before standing up and grabbing the watch. He swallowed nervously, even just holding it in his hand. He knew how potentially sensitive these things could be, and it was possible any type of movement or disturbance to the workings inside could cause it, and him, to blip out of their current existence. “How far back or forward should I set it?”

“Just a few minutes. Start small.”

Five nodded again, hearing Reggie’s voice echoing in his head. “Keep the same timeline?”

“For right now, yes. Let’s not complicate things quite yet.”

Five adjusted a few dials to set the time and place, before removing his usual watch from his left wrist and replacing it with the time travel version. Even as hesitant as he was with it strapped to his wrist, Five still had to admit that they did a pretty damn good job of making it stylish. It would complement his suits nicely.

“Ready?” the other Five asked.

Five rolled his shoulders back and stretched his neck from side to side in preparation. “Ready,” he stated before pressing the small activation button on the side of the watch.

In one small burst of blue, Five disappeared. When he reappeared a millisecond later, he was still in the basement. This time, however, he found himself staring back at two versions of himself that were in the middle of an argument. Everyone stopped talking and stared at one another. “Shit, I think this means it works,” the smaller ‘other’ Five said, right before Five pressed the button again to return to his correct time.

Popping out of thin air, Five landed in the exact same spot he had been in when he left. With a quick check of his surroundings, he looked at his other self. “Did we do it?”

“I think so. You were gone for maybe a second. Did you make it to the right place and time?”

Five nodded. “It was right here just a few minutes ago, before we charged it. So, yeah…I think we did it.”

“Perfect!” the other version said with a smile.

“That was only one test. We should do a couple more to make sure we didn’t just get lucky. Plus we need to see if this thing stays charged.”

Both Fives knew that the worst thing to happen would be to find themselves stranded in the wrong time again, and with the watch having run out of power. It would be the same as when the briefcases went kaput. They’d be relying on their own powers and that was never a good thing.

“Ok, let me try a different setting. I’ll go a little further back and to a different place.”

He took a deep breath after he programmed the watch. “See ya,” he said with a wave before disappearing again.

When Five appeared out of the portal, he took a quick look around to assess the situation. He appeared to be in the right place. He had put in the coordinates for the Hotel Obsidian and he had found himself landing right in the main lobby. Luckily for him, the type of clientele that frequented that hotel didn’t even blink an eye when a teenage kid suddenly appeared in their midst out of nowhere. As Five faced the main doors of the hotel, he saw what he had hoped to see. His entire family, including himself, were trying to shove their way through the revolving door into the lobby, all while loudly arguing.

“Yes!” Five said to himself with a smile as he pressed the button on the watch before anyone could notice him. When he reappeared back in the basement, he let out a relieved sigh. “Ok, so far so good. There doesn’t seem to be any issue with the power strength and the coordinates seem correct.”

The other him nodded. “So, now what?”

Five let out a forceful breath of air through puffed cheeks. “Well, now comes the fun part. A bigger jump and a different timeline.”

“You sure about this?”

Five shook his head while setting the watch to the date and time he had in mind. He wasn’t sure why that particular date popped into his head, but it didn’t matter what it was, just as long as it was part of his original timeline. “Not really, no.”

When he was ready and the watch was programmed, he turned to his other self. “Listen, if this doesn’t work and I disappear, tell our family I’m sorry.”

The other Five nodded, knowing there was no use in giving optimistic words of encouragement. It was very possible this entire thing could fail. If so, Five would be lost and the kugelblitz would eventually wipe out the entire universe, including his wife and kids.

Five was gone in a zap of blue.

Reappearing on the other side of the portal, he felt the same wave of nausea pass over him that he used to have when he would make big jumps like this for the Commission. He closed his eyes for a moment to steady himself. Then he took a look around.

He was home. At least, the only real home he’d ever known, even if it was more like a boarding school than anything else. Standing in the large foyer of the Academy, Five checked the stained glass on the front door. Seeing the umbrella etched into the panes, he let out a quiet sigh. That was a good sign, but he still needed to confirm he was indeed in the right time and place.

Creeping quietly toward the living room, he heard voices coming from behind the sliding doors that separated it from the foyer. There was the sound of muffled laughter and Five could smell something delicious cooking in the kitchen.

“Baked ham,” Five whispered to himself before rolling his eyes at his own stupidity of talking out loud.

Taking a nervous look around, but not seeing anyone or hearing any approaching footsteps, Five pressed his ear to the door. The laughter was louder, and he could hear people talking, but he still couldn’t make out what they were saying. He knew it was a big risk, but his curiosity got the better of him and he cracked the door just a tiny bit to peer inside.

They were all there. His entire family, including Ben and himself, were gathered together, playing some sort of board game. Because Five had programmed the exact date and time, he knew they were all eight years old and it was a Saturday. Reginald had gone out for the evening, and Pogo had decided the kids could stand to use more than one hour of play time that day. So, he had asked Grace to make an extra special dinner of their favorite ham and potatoes, with chocolate cake for dessert. While she was preparing it in the kitchen, the siblings celebrated their precious freedom together.

Five smiled to himself while he watched his family playing and getting along. It was one of his better memories of his childhood. They were still young and hadn’t been competitive with each other yet. Training was still fun and the idea of being debuted as the Umbrella Academy for all the world to see was exciting.

Diego and Luther were arguing, of course, but it was more of the normal sibling arguing you would expect, and not the kind where you try and kill one another. Allison was trying to get everyone’s attention to explain the rules of the board game, but no one was listening to her. Five’s young self and Ben were sitting on one of the couches behind her, throwing little pieces of balled up paper into her hair and laughing hysterically behind their hands.

Klaus and Viktor sat dutifully in front of the table with the game, trying to listen to the rules as obediently as possible. That is, until Klaus took one of the playing pieces and stuck it up his nose, making Viktor laugh and Allison annoyed.

“You guys!” she started to protest, but when she saw Klaus take another piece and try to balance it on his head, she started cracking up. “Oh, forget it,” she said with a giggle, picking a piece of paper out of her long curly hair. She turned to Ben and Five who were doing a very poor job of looking innocent. Allison stuck her tongue out and flicked the paper back at them, hitting Five in the nose.

“Alright, children, time to eat!” their mother cheerfully announced from the dining room.

Five watched his little self spring off the couch, pushing Ben down in the process, and laughing. “Yes! I’m starving! I call the biggest slice of cake!”

“No way, Five! I do!” Luther argued as he trotted after his smaller brother.

“I’ll let you have it if you can catch me,” Five teased, just before flashing his bigger brother a haughty smile and blinking away.

The kids eventually made their way into the dining room where they were out of Five’s sight. He closed the door again and pressed his forehead against it, closing his eyes. The urge to burst in there and warn his innocent, younger self about everything that was going to happen was so strong he could feel his heart pounding wildly in his chest and pulsing in his ears. He wanted to grab him by the shoulders and look him in the eyes. He wanted to tell him not to time travel, even if he thought he was ready. Listen to Reggie. You really will be starving. And you’ll be alone. For so, so long…you’ll be alone.

The internal battle waged on as Five felt the tightening in his chest again and the breaths that wouldn’t come. Black spots began forming behind his eyelids.

He needed a drink. Maybe he could slip inside while they were at the dinner table and steal a bottle of Reginald’s booze. Then maybe he could think straight. No…no, he just needed to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Five, are you ok? You need to get out of here. The experiment worked, you just need to get back now.

I know, Dolores, but what if I can save him? Save me?

Five pressed his forehead harder against the door frame. He was panicking and frozen stiff. He needed to get out of there before someone saw him. Or before his little eight-year old self started experiencing psychosis symptoms.

You can do this, Five. Just open your eyes and move.

I can’t…I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t.

Yes, you can Five…you know you can. You just don’t want to.

As usual, the Dolores inside his head was right. He wanted to stay. God, he wanted to stay there so badly. Despite all of its tortures, the Academy was his home. It was warm and filled with delicious smells from his mother’s cooking. His siblings were there; healthy and alive. His warm, cozy bed was waiting for him upstairs.

Five was certain that if he just waltzed into the kitchen right now, Grace would kiss his forehead and smooth his hair before insisting that he sit down at the table while she made him a plate of food. She would smile and ask where he’d been. When was the last time he was comforted like that? When was the last time anyone cared that much about him?

Your siblings care, Five. You heard them talking about you. They love you.

No, they just think I’m an asshole. They need me to get back to their lives, but they don’t really care.

That’s not true, Five. You know it’s not.

“Stop it stop it stop it stop it,” Five whispered to himself. “Move, stupid. You need to move.”

Nothing you can do will change anything, Five. What has happened has happened. You left your home at thirteen. You got lost in an apocalyptic world all by yourself. You became an old man and an assassin. You tried to save the world. All of these things already happened to you. And there’s nothing you can do to change that.

And just like that, Five snapped out of it. He opened his eyes, lifted his head, and took in his surroundings again. He was still alone. He could still hear his younger self and his siblings in the other room. But it didn’t matter. What was done was done. He could travel years into the past or decades into the future. He could jump a million timelines. But nothing would ever change his past.

The best he could do now was to make sure the future was just a little bit better for him and for his family. So, with a heavy heart, and what felt like a ball of lead in his stomach, Five reluctantly pressed the activation button on his watch. The Academy would never be his home again, and he had to accept that.

“You ok?” his doppelganger asked when he appeared back in the basement.

Five was breathing hard and raggedly, still reeling on his feet. He nodded and clutched the side of the table. “Yeah. Just some lasting symptoms of time travel. It will pass shortly.”

“And it all worked correctly?”

Five nodded again. “Yes.”

The other Five clapped his hands together with determination. “Great! We can get to work on building the second watch, then.” He looked at Five with concern. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Can I just…can you get me a drink? I need one before we start again.”

His older-looking self looked dubious for a second, and then he nodded. “Yeah, sure. You want whiskey?”

“I don’t care. Anything.”

“Alright. I’ll get you one drink, but that’s it.”

“Sure, whatever,” Five sighed as he sat heavily down in one of the chairs.

As the other Five left to go get the drink, Five rested his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands. He needed to pull himself together. He couldn’t crack up now, he needed to concentrate. The tears were starting to form behind his closed lids, but he squeezed his eyes tighter so they would stay there. When he heard the footsteps coming back down the stairs, he wiped his face quickly and straightened up, smoothing down his clothes and combing his hair back into place with his fingers.

“Here,” his other self said as he handed him a tumbler of whiskey.

Five took a small sip and he immediately started to feel better. “Thanks.” He took another, longer drink, and then set the glass on the table before standing up. “Alright, we’re not done. Let’s get to work.”

If you wish to be tagged, let me know!

@kaybreezy3000 @lunalovesangst

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves fanfic #number five #number five fanfic #umbrella academy #umbrella academy fanfic #tua fanfic #tua 3 #fanfiction requests #fanfiction #badkittywrites #multi chapter #tua #the umbrella academy

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femminger · 1 year ago

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Art practice by trying some other artist's styles that I'm a huge fan of!

From Top Left to Bottom Right:

@ghostishere0 - the original reason I started this doodle, as I wanted to draw a "shepherd lovers squad" and their OC (who I don't know the name of F) was the perfect fit for it.

@luminesparkz - the best interpretation of Pom pikmin. If I were Mr. Nitendo, I would make them the official comic creator along with the manga comics.

@marblyso - If I was a little more unhinged and made a shrine to Erma Shepherd, it would be mostly marblyso's art of her, it's my absolute favorite Erma depiction <3

@rexscanonwife - another OC that I don't know the name of, but she makes such a cute pair with Shepherd and has such cute art that why not, let Shepherd have multiple canon wives at this point.

@citruscrisp - I think this is secretly Alph in an alternate universe where he makes comics about himself, because citrus has Alph's character SPOT ON, and also loves to put that boy in a situation (which I am happy for, I enjoy seeing that boy in a situation)

@daisythecomic - oooaaaaaaaaaa they look like little mice people they look so soft and sweet I love them so muuuuuuuuuccchhhhhhhhh

@louie-posting - I can't not include actual Louie Pikmin on this list.

@kiwilittle - the soft, the sweet, the one who makes the best family style art, really making me wish I was an inch tall so I could go to holidays with the olimar family, also their wife design is so cute that if Olimar didn't already get it I would shoot my shot for her m a a m

@pikbugz - really nails the soft aesthetic that makes pikmin such a calming series, and their coloring style is so soft and good that it gives me the ratatouille nostalgia flashback moment.

@splitster - more than just the wraith au guy, they are the one who makes incredible and funny comics; I've seen so many fics with the rescue corps where I can pick up that yes, this trait came from a splitster comic, and that's a GOOD thing. Made me actually LIKE Dingo, the nerve.

@diesaur - I can't do diesaur's incredible, unique art justice, they are amazing at using geometrics and have the best charlie (his little teefs...)

@solluxander - Cars, one of my favorite pikmin Ocs I've ever seen! Collin deserves a slightly unhinged sentient fluffball boyfriend, and I always love seeing the new ways Cars will interact with him.

@sillypikmin - all hail the best pikposter, who I'm still convinced is an actual leafling living on actual pnf-404, literally every time I have a bad day I look at drawings of Moss and feel better.

@eggpathy - thank goodness they came back to give us old man yaoi. I keep their drawing of olimar kissing the pikmin good night on my phone and look at it before I go to sleep and so far I have yet to have a single nightmare.

@the-knife-consumer - the only person I trust with Louittany, toxic yuri my beloved, I just adore their beasty brittany design so so much, I wish I could have a small brittany to live in my house...

anyway they have the best headcanons for our beloved blorbo hamster people

@natibranch - there's a voice line of Louie going "wa-ha!" in this really cute sing-song voice and every time I see any art by natibranch I hear that sound in my head as a little burst of serotonin, they just nail that exact feeling so so well.

@pikked-min - Another of my favorite Pikmin OCs, Yuva! A really interesting and unique character concept with a lot of thought put into the worldbuilding, followed by a strong unusual personality that had me looking at the pikmin world through a new perspective entirely. Please, someone, give them some sunglasses. Read the fic it's so good

@ssserf - artistic and deep while still somehow looking like official nintendo tm art, genuinely the best at the pikmin proportions, how could I resist trying my hand at the classic amazing beautiful Brittany Fruit Sweater moment, literally SO iconic

@kashi-pon - while I was working on the part of this that was just kashi's various highlife dresses there was a part of me that wanted to dedicate the rest of the space to paying homage to the joke comic of Louie lifting his skirt to show Olimar that he's wearing shorts, except this dress....well......

@diamondwerewolf - the reason we got louie in a little bunny outfit anyway, and thus why we got kashi's dress version. you single-handedly turned Louie into a tumblr sexyman, how could you

#pikmin #pikmin art #pikmin artists #pikmin 2 #pikmin 4 #pikmin 3 #my art

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swallowtailed · 4 months ago

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palisade 62 / finalisade side b track 6

on palisade!

one thing about fatt, they can stick a landing. more specifically austin and jack by their powers combined can stick a fucking landing. tbh let me talk about the outro first, actually:

stunning final track. loved hearing it morph from the palisade theme into other tunes.

a joy to hear from parti one last time!! probably my favorite npc of this season.

and to lift back out into the frame of perfect imperfect as hosted by layer luxurious (broadcasting from the planet of palisade, which is a lovely touch)—it’s my audio drama past coming out, but i do so love a diegetic radio show. we were promised that we would hear the end of the perfect millennium! and we did! satisfying.

i wasn’t sold on the plot of this sortie, but janine brought it home—has been bringing it home all arc. her work in this finale has been really, really cool. super solid science fiction. going from questlandia back into armor astir felt like an odd zigzag—much like dipping into and back out of the mirage—but the thread of blossoming sentiences was very strong.

(would like to take time to dig into the thematic structure of this season, now that it's over, but for now i am just pointing at it)

god, just knowing that brnine survived, and continued the fight… that's a win. closing on them bantering with thisbe was, i agree, the perfect final image.

brnine’s gravity clock changing to “thisbe is an important part of my life”... thisbe saying they’re a good captain and asking to watch a movie, and brnine immediately teasing her… they’re friends ;-;

also—season about grief—it was jokes, but thisbe saying “i was stating a fact, i wasn’t mourning” and brnine replying “sounded like mourning to me”, and ending palisade on that exchange… a good note of closure on that theme, i felt.

there’s been a lot of excellent character work this season—brnine, thisbe, cori, figure, jesset, and august all stand out to me. i’m trying not to make this post too long but man. genuinely incredible stuff.

perennial blooming again with thisbe’s gift of the pollen was really lovely. as was all the imagery in that scene

thisbe throwing sixes to speak with perennial was so Dice Game. one last little bit of serendipity for the road.

also thisbe being integrated with various different ways of being is very “it’s not a field it’s a garden” to me

i am looking forward to seeing how they treat this new phase of the divine cycle, because a transformation like that of the divine arbor would be devastating to a lot of lifeways & ecologies. it is far from the only time this has happened in the divine cycle! but it’s a great chance to concretize that. kudzu and other invasive species were raised in a previous ep; i’m also reminded of area x from jeff vandermeer’s annihilation. what i would like to see: a focus on new social forms, cf scavengers reign. fatt typically does not dig into ecologies, land relationships, etc, but perhaps they will look more in that direction in the divine arbor’s new world? who knows. either way i’m gonna be sitting here talking about ecological readings because unfortunately i do think it’s important and relevant lmao. (while i’m talking on the season scale, this is something i really want to see in sangfielle as well. which is a setting that even more deserves some time spent on the land.)

cori’s scene with elle was great. her storyline this season has been so fun—losing none of the bravado, but coming more into herself. i thought she was gonna give elle some of her blood but a ritual knife is probably a better gift.

can’t wait to see where they’re at next divine cycle season!!

“if only you could get five more minutes” made me laugh

glad that levi made it out! starcrossed is a wild name for a team led by a guy who kicked off his career by defeating the fear of death—kinda thumbing his nose at fate—but it seems like he’s pulling it off so far.

can local plant-based organizing be a viable alternative to galactic capitalism? i sure fuckin hope so!!

leap vanishing with present would have been extremely space opera

perennial blue ribbon…

i did overall really enjoy this season. i think it’s their best yet, for character work and executing on big ideas. a sharper take on twilight mirage. it’s dense but it has momentum. they really do get better every season imo... like my season ranking does kinda just go directly up in chronological order

god. palisade.

stay tuned~

(also, while we’re here, thanks for reading! this is something like the sixtieth of these weekly palisade ep posts, which is wild. it’s been a weird year and a half, personally—a lot of time in motion—but tuning into palisade every week and then thinking and discussing together has been really fun. so shoutouts!)

#fatt #palisade #palisade spoilers #fatt lb #hello world #wow... finalisade fr...

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sortofshea · 25 days ago

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On the 7th day of @hprecfest this fandom gave to me...

Day 7: the best of your OTP

Title: Turn by Saras_Girl

Pairing: Draco x Harry

Explicit | 306.7k words

Summary: One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Why I recommend it:

This prompt is so insanely hard, I started looking for a fic to fill it yesterday ago and still haven't completely settled on one. I'm just banking on filling some of the other prompts with more of my absolute favorites, so for now, let's dive into the one I've chosen.

After much deliberation, I went with Turn and this post is about to turn into an essay so get ready.

This fic takes place almost 20 years after the end of the war. Harry is married to Ginny and they have three beautiful children together, but both Ginny and Harry have become rather disillusioned with their lives. Harry hasn't admitted it to himself yet, but he hates his job as an Auror. Ginny had quit playing professional quidditch when the kids came along and also resents her job at Gringotts. They have both become weary and exhausted people going through the motions. Ginny is always angry or annoyed and they haven't had sex in god only knows how long. Neither of them have wanted to.

Harry takes a rather melancholy walk down to a nearby pub one night when he should be sleeping. He winds up getting sozzled with a weird old man who tells him some cryptic things and then sends him on his way home for the night.

The next morning, Harry wakes up in an unfamiliar bed that he shares with none other than Draco Malfoy. Having woken up in an alternate universe would have been jarring enough as it is, but now Harry has to rapidly adjust to the apparent fact that he has been co-habitating with a man he hasn't seen in more than a decade and never exactly had warm and fuzzy feelings about.

Harry spends the next few months in this alternate version of reality trying to figure out what choice he had made in this world - and not made in his own - that had led to this unlikely pairing. He also begins to get to know this alternate version of himself who seems to be happier and more fulfilled than he himself is, with no one to confide in except for Ginny and Blaise's non-existant (in his universe) daughter. In this version of reality, Harry has become a craftsman. He works with wood and dabbles with other materials like glass, crafting furniture and trinkets for the wizarding public, and Harry rapidly finds himself out of his depth trying to keep up with strange commissions and run his apparent shop.

He finds himself slowly falling into a comfortable routine and acclimating to this new version of reality. He begins to understand this other version of himself's relationship with Draco and starts to fall in love with him as well. Just as he is truly beginning to feel settled and content in this version of reality, he is sent back to his own on the morning after that fateful night at the pub.

The next few months consist of Ginny and Harry accepting that their relationship had ended a long time ago and working out the details of their divorce. Harry sets out on a quest to find the fulfillment and happiness that his other self had and winds up in Diagon Alley at the location that his shop had been in the other universe. After taking a leap of faith and quitting the Aurors, he purchases the workshop and sets to work reshaping his life.

He also takes it upon himself to find Draco, who it had also been announced in the papers, was undergoing a divorce from his wife, Astoria. This version of Draco Malfoy is different from the one he had gotten to know in that alternate universe. He is less happy, less outgoing, and vibrant. Draco is world-weary and initially skeptical of Harry's intentions, coming back into his life out of the blue. Their friendship develops gradually and Harry finds himself once again falling in love with the man he is getting to know all over again.

Around both of their individual divorces and learning to navigate their relationships with their children - who are doing their own adjusting to the new reality of their parents' separations - Draco and Harry are out of their depth and come to lean on one another. Their transition into DracoandHarry is slow and halting, but unavoidable.

I adore older, adult drarry and seeing how Ryu portrays them post-canon epilogue is so satisfying. Everyone feels so perfectly in character and the way that events unfold makes sense and feels so natural. Draco is endearingly neurotic in this one and I personally loved his need for symmetry because my headcanon Draco Malfoy may be poised and self-satisfied, but beneath it all, he's undeniably a weirdo. Harry is so patient and understanding with him, it makes my heart squeeze.

I will never stop returning to this fic. It's beautiful and melancholy and hurts just enough but doesn't utterly shatter your heart on the way to the comfort. If the 300k+ word count is daunting, there is a lovely podfic version by @mab-speaks that I listened to when I was otherwise unable to read the fic myself, if that's more your speed.

#hp rec fest #hp fanfiction #fic rec #drarry fic

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raxistaicho · 8 months ago

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just saw a post stating that edelgard starting a war is 100% wrong, essentially stating that being a revolutionary is Evil no matter the context

it really is incredible just how absurd theyre willing to go with this narrative that shes a bad person, as if a good percentage of media doesnt inherently glorify revolutionaries as heroes and idols to be celebrated. but when edelgard does this, it suddenly becomes wrong, a crime. how curious is that, right?

like its really clear that these people just dont give a damn about the story of fodlan at all because its VERY CLEAR that this is a country on the brink of collapse. i dont know how you can look at fodlan in any capacity and not see the cracks beginning to form. this is a country where child soldiers are not only encouraged, but REQUIRED in order to keep up with bandit attacks and slaying demonic beasts. multiple paralogues state that children with crests are married off, to the point where sylvain literally calls himself a studhorse at one point. ingrids paralogue is about defending ingrid from being KIDNAPPED and likely forced to marry a man at knifepoint. multiple cultures like sreng and duscur have been stomped on and treated like dirt, treated like "cared for" slaves at best and violent savages at worst, to the point where a man escaping back to his homeland is seen as "refusing kindness". FODLAN IS A BAD PLACE.

but no! apparently war is ALWAYS evil, even when the alternative is letting this state of affairs continue. war is ALWAYS evil, even when it saves innocent lives from the machinations of those who would do us harm. war-- No, let me be clear about what this person means. When they say "War", what they actually mean is "Violence." Violence is always Evil. That's what this means. It's that old adage of "Violence never solved anything", except that this is a statement used by pacifists to demean all violence rather than just cruelty.

If you look me in the eyes and tell me that you wouldn't hurt anybody, ever, then all it tells me is that you haven't got the heart to actually care about people. Is violence tragic? Yes. Absolutely. But denouncing it entirely is... It's beyond inhuman. It's apathetic about human life to the point of insanity. There are stories dating back centuries - Millenia, almost certainly - about how men and women will fight against gods and demons just to save one person from a fate they didn't deserve.

"Violence is Evil." No. Violence is Emotion. It can be used to attack and it can be used to defend. It is not, and cannot, be evil of its own accord. It is a tool to be used at the discretion of its wielder.

Evil, TRUE Evil, is Apathy. Evil is when you have all the power in the world to help people, to change the world, and you don't. When you see genuine human suffering and you don't feel the urge to step in and help. Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.

just saw a post stating that edelgard starting a war is 100% wrong, essentially stating that being a revolutionary is Evil no matter the context it really is incredible just how absurd theyre willing to go with this narrative that shes a bad person, as if a good percentage of media doesnt inherently glorify revolutionaries as heroes and idols to be celebrated. but when edelgard does this, it suddenly becomes wrong, a crime. how curious is that, right?

Generally speaking, Edelgard detractors try to deny that she's revolting at all through some description pedantry, even though ultimately what she's doing is fighting the very social groundwork upon which Fodlan rests, and,

So yeah. They get so hung up on the part where she's a person in power herself and ignore that she intends to change Fodlan utterly, and for the better. Rhea and Seteth frequently call her a traitor or other synonyms. She is a revolutionary.

Also, people just become enamored with the ideal of peaceful protest, when the reality is... sometimes things gotta get bloody.

Yup. It's been said time and again, but for a setting in an FE game, Fodlan's in a remarkable state of turmoil long before the war kicks off. Usually things are peaceful before the aggressor nation makes it move.

So Fire Emblem as a series is in a weird place in how it treats war, because frankly it wants to have things both ways. Obviously the writers don't want to extol the "virtues" of warfare so on the face of things, the series tends to portray an anti-war message, but this is an SRPG at the end of the day, so while Emmeryn's appeals to peace were powerful and cause a good number of Plegia's soldiers to dessert, you still use violence and war to stop Gangrel, Walhart, and Grima. The writing rejects violence for a good cause even though violence is how you fix everything.

One of the Edelcrits runs a whole-ass thing picking out anti-war lines from Heroes as though this somehow throws shade on Three Houses, when the reality is it's throwing shade on how things are done throughout the whole series. They behave as though self-defensive violence is always justified and never spirals out of proportion.

Exactly. It's all about what the violence is doing and how severe it goes. Edelgard fights to bring rights to the people; Rhea fights to maintain her power and Fodlan's status quo. The fact that Rhea is the one defending herself doesn't change that she's fighting for a bad cause.

Very true, and Fodlan is a case study in that.

Thanks for the excellent ask!

#ask #fire emblem three houses #edelgard von #edelgard positive #edelgard discourse

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 12 days ago

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The first real test of the cardinal principle of the right of white women to protection came when Confederate women faced enemy troops in areas under Union occupation, as they did in some places as early as the fall of 1861 and winter of 1862. Then began the painful education of all parties to the reality and consequences of Confederate women's partisan commitments. It was clear from the outset that Virginia would play an outsized role in the war, and, as state Unionists had insisted, that the Shenandoah and Kanawha valleys would prove to be the Flanders fields of the war. It was true of both places.

Sigismunda Stribling Kimball was a planter woman who had the misfortune to live on a farm near Berryville, Virginia, a small town in the Shenandoah Valley not far from Winchester. Kimball lived in the very eye of the storm. For Winchester was critically located at the northern end of the Shenandoah Valley, close to Maryland on the one side and West Virginia on the other. It was also the headquarters of the Confederate army of western Virginia under Major General Thomas S. (Stonewall) Jackson and was violently contested terrain. The town changed hands as many as seventy times during the war, and Kimball's Berryville area went with it, usually a few days in advance. From the time the Yankees first took Winchester in March 1862, Kimball, her slaves, and all of her neighbors and their slaves lived alternately in United States and Confederate territory. The turnover could be rapid. "We are again in Dixie," Kimball wrote on December 6,1862; "Yankees in Berryville," she corrected herself on December 27. Nothing held for long. The Yankees had been in Winchester less than two weeks when they made an appearance on Mrs. Kimball's farm. When three "yankees" rushed up to her door looking for "a rebel that belongs to this house," the mistress made her first foray out to meet the enemy. Although an avowed and open Confederate, she took the gendered high ground, revealing her own-and many other planter women's -assumptions about how this was all to go. "I told him there is no one at home but ladies of course they are always respected and protected." To Kimball's shock, the soldier, a private, would have none of it: "He said they had plenty of ladies prisoner and they were the worst traitors in the world." But Kimball was not through. Like the young Louisiana woman counseled by her soldier brother to use "cold politeness" to control "the impudent dog in blue cloth," and to request orders of protection from the resident enemy commanders, Mrs. Kimball redirected her appeal to the man's officers, counting on their gentlemanly instincts. "Immediately went to the Col, claiming his protection, which had been offered before," she noted.

Remarkable as it might seem, many elite Confederate women saw their right to protection as an obligation that extended to enemy men. Nor were they wrong. Like many other Yankee officers in the occupied South, Kimball's colonel was not only solicitous, recognizing her as a lady deserving of respect, he committed to protect her against the rougher sorts in his own army. In actions repeated all over the occupied and battleground areas of the South in 1861 and 1862, Colonel McDowell issued an order of protection and posted a guard of five men at Kimball's gate until his troops withdrew from the area. "I had no idea I could feel so desolate without such protection," she wrote after they left. "We have been so fortunate in having gentlemanly officers to guard us and feel thankful for colonel MacDowel's protection." "Victory to our arms," Sigismunda Kimball prayed, when the Yankee pickets withdrew from her gate. The idea that women were entitled to protection (or at least that elite women were) held firmly on both sides in the first year or so of the war.

But orders of protection revealed more than the value of chivalry; they reflected something fundamental about the law of war. Sigismunda Kimball made no secret of her politics and national allegiance while she demanded the protection of Union officers. Clearly she thought herself entitled both to her own political opinions and national allegiances and protection as a woman. Like many other "secesh" ladies, as the soldiers called pro-Confederate women, she was alert to the strategic value of her identity as a lady, that elevated form of Southern womanhood. It was not at all unusual for planter women to lecture Union soldiers about their chivalrous obligations. But the obligation to protect women was also, as some knew, a more formal matter. Mary Greenhow Lee, a widow who lived just a few miles from Kimball in Winchester and shared the alarming experience of life in the combat zone, delivered an unusually acute speech in which she indicated her knowledge of what was required not just by gender customs but by army regulations. In January 1863 she sought an interview with the Union provost marshal. "I told Captain Alexander," she recorded in her diary, "that we were all rebels but that we expected as citizens to be treated according to the usages of civilized warfare, and as women, we demanded the courtesy that every lady has the right to expect from every gentleman." In seeking orders of protection from enemy officers, as she did from General Milroy two months later, Mary Greenhow Lee demonstrated her knowledge of the laws of war and the obligations it imposed on occupying forces with respect to noncombatants.

stephanie mccurry, confederate reckoning: power and politics in the civil war south

#sorry this one is so long and spoiler alert not the last giant quote i'll post from this chapter #i just looove the way mccurry gets into the tension between the ideals of gender & the reality of war.....#confederate reckoning #bookblogging #media 2k24

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lucky-clover-gazette · 7 months ago

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prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 8

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

It had not been easy to prise out all the information, but Damen had provided the mercenary with a sustained, methodical and unrelenting incentive to talk.

this is a fun line. also, another little hint that kinda offsets the flogging in book 1. like yeah it was bad, without or without the Brother Killer Context, but it’s not like damen is above similar methods of torture towards his enemies. and that’s what damen had been to laurent, at the time—literally his worst enemy in the entire world, except for maybe the regent.

Damen would need to take his horse off the road, and ride straight, as the crow flies, cross country. He didn’t hesitate, spurring his horse up the first slope.

and now i’m hearing the twilight princess hyrule field music. i am not complaining

It was a tactic that reeked of the Regent. All of this was: this convoluted trap reaching across the landscape to splinter the Prince from his troop and his messenger, so that to save one meant to sacrifice the other. As Laurent had proven. Laurent, to save his messenger, had surrendered his own safety, sending away his only protector.

context: yeah i think this is actually an accurate assessment of the situation

Damen tried, for a moment, to think his way into Laurent’s situation, to guess how Laurent would evade his pursuers, what he would do. And realised he didn’t know. He couldn’t even make a first guess. Laurent was impossible to predict.

damen: imagines laurent pulling off some kind of insane rube goldberg machine of tactical evasion, or taking out several armed men while cornered in an alleyway

laurent:

Laurent, the infuriating, obstinate man that he was, was impossible, wholly and completely.

His arrogance was unbearable. If he had deliberately left himself open to attack, if he was caught by one of his own games . . . Damen swore, and focused his attention on the ride to the camp.

oh i go CRAZY for the “i’m upset with you because you endangered yourself and i want/need you to be okay” trope

Laurent was alive. Laurent sidestepped everything he deserved. He was slippery and sly and he had escaped the attack in the town with chicanery and arrogance, as usual. Curse Laurent for this.

okay i’m lost, why is damen mad at laurent? to my understanding, it went like this:

people came to attack laurent and the messenger, splitting up between the two tasks

which then forced damen and laurent to split up. damen did not want to leave laurent unprotected, but knew that somebody had to make sure the messenger was okay. he told laurent to trust that he would succeed and return to camp, agreeing to make it back in a certain timeframe.

damen learned that the people pursuing the messenger were on horses, which meant that the timeframe was miscalculated. but still he went and stopped them, interrogated one, learned about planned attacks on laurent and the camp, and hustled to get there.

in the uber there, damen alternates between fretting about laurent’s safety and imagining all of the harmful ways laurent could have somehow manipulated him or the situation.

it’s unclear to me here if, at this point, damen has actually arrived and found laurent alive (and is pissed about it?), or if he’s just entertaining a hypothetical scenario in which laurent has manipulated him into… what? protecting the messenger and interrogating the pursuers? damen was going to do that anyway. it was in both of their best interests that it got done. and laurent hadn’t known about the horses, so the timeframe had seemed reasonable.

i thiiiiiink this is a hypothetical imagining, and an aftershock from the past 20 chapters, rather than an accurate assessment of the present situation. damen still expects laurent to screw him over, despite the night they shared, because he’s experienced the entirety of the captive prince and 7 chapters of the prince’s gambit. in terms of pattern recognition, it’s not an unreasonable thing to expect. still, it does frustrate me, which might be the entire point. a first-time reader might be thinking more along the lines of damen, which bodes well for that assumption being proven wrong shortly.

also - i could just be totally missing something, or underestimating laurent’s overall situational awareness. that’s what happened the first time i read the series—i felt so awful for laurent towards the end of book 2, and was frustrated with damen for keeping up the lie! although in this case i suppose i’m thinking less about laurent's awareness and more about his intentions? i don’t know. i’ve scrutinized this passage enough. i’m just going to keep reading.

The Laurent who had sprawled out by the fire seemed so far away, limbs unwound, relaxed, talking . . . Damen found that memory was inextricably tangled with the glint of Nicaise’s sapphire earring, the murmur of Laurent’s voice in his ear, the breathless brilliance of the chase, rooftop to rooftop, all of it woven into one long, mad, endless night.

laurent’s conscious delusion about damen not being the same person as damianos, vs. damen’s subconscious delusion about bitchy laurent not being the same person as charming laurent. everyone loses

None of the men he saw was a yellow-haired prince in a woollen cap. And just as he feared the worst, just as all that he had not let himself believe for the long ride began to push itself to the front of his mind, Damen saw him, drawn out of one of the mostly intact tents not six steps away, and gone still at the sight of Damen.

haha you didn’t want him to be deadddddd

it might be scarier to damen that laurent is not trying to screw him over and has survived, than if he had done something hurtful and/or died. given the way laurent freezes at the sight of damen, he’s probably thinking something similar about his voluntary return. like “shit—the worst hasn’t happened. what now? and how do i deal with the fact that laurent dying/damen leaving was, in fact, the worst-case scenario?”

His newly minted hair was uncovered, and he looked as fresh as he had emerging from the baths the night before, as he had waking beneath Damen’s hands.

context: laurent disguised himself as a prostitute in a brothel. the yassification was a convenient side effect of the overall scheme

‘You’re alive,’ Damen said, and the words came out on a rush of relief that made him feel weak. ‘I’m alive,’ said Laurent. They were gazing at one another. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back.’ ‘I came back,’ said Damen.

“i wasn’t sure” there’s no way in hell you thought he would come back, laurent. maybe logically you weren’t sure, but in your heart you accepted the abandonment the second he left your sight. just like nicaise did, when you left arles :’(

also they do a lot of gazing. i should have started a count earlier but i’m too lazy to go back now. for the record: they do a lot of gazing.

Damen tried to stop looking at Laurent. He had a hundred questions. How had he escaped his pursuers? Had it been easy? Difficult? Had he suffered any injury? Was he all right?

“was he all right” SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 <3<3<3

With the damage of the insurgency still awaiting his attention outside...

wait, so if the insurgency was a part of the overall plan, that tells us conclusively that there are like. inside men working for regent within the camp. which yeah, we already knew, but they’re actively getting intel somehow. or maybe this was planned from the start? this couldn't have been all aimeric, right??

To Damen, it seemed obvious that the uprising was planned, that the instigators were paid, and that their plan had relied on the fact that the rest of the Regent’s men, rabble-rousers, thugs and mercenaries looking for an outlet, would take the first excuse to lash out at the Prince’s men, and join in.

okay cool i was right about that

Two weeks ago, the troop had been a rabble split into two factions. They had not developed the fledgling camaraderie that now held them together; they hadn’t been sent to their sleeping rolls night after night exhausted from trying to outdo one another at some mad, impossible exercise; finding to their surprise after they had stopped cursing their Prince’s name, how much they had enjoyed themselves.

two weeks ago, they had not participated in the “i’ll make a man out of you” montage/musical number from the animated film mulan

It could have been far, far worse. Damen thought of all the ways that this might have played out: Laurent dead, or returned to find his troop in tatters, his messenger cut down on the road. Laurent was alive. The troop was intact. The messenger had survived.

an interesting counterpoint to damen’s catastrophizing en route to the camp.

i think between damen and laurent, we’re seeing the way trauma affects people at different distances from the traumatic events:

damen has very recently been traumatized by his father’s death, his brother’s betrayal, and the events of book 1. he is hypervigilant, almost perpetually disoriented, and prone to spiraling and expecting the worst. because everything is so fresh, he is unable to separate logical expectations from fear-based pattern recognition. he is feeling this hurt, whether he wants to or not, and cannot prevent it from affecting his perception and judgment.

laurent, meanwhile, endured similar trauma—loss, betrayal, sexual abuse—seven years ago, and then for a few years after that. it isn’t raw anymore, but that doesn’t mean that it’s gone. laurent’s trauma absolutely impairs his judgment, both strategically and emotionally. his wounds have not closed properly, his bones have set out of place (i don’t know enough about injuries to make good metaphors here). but he has no intention to fix that, because it would mean exposing the wounds or breaking the bones again, and enduring more hurt.

This day was a victory, except that the men didn’t feel it. They needed to feel it. They needed to fight something, and to win.

i see you’ve taken laurent’s philosophy of taking great pleasure in small victories to heart, damen

‘I prefer to think my way out of traps,’ said Laurent, ‘rather than use brute force to simply smash through.’ The words had the air of finality to them. Damen nodded and began to rise when Laurent’s cool voice stopped him. ‘That’s why I think we should fight,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s the last thing I would ever do, and the last thing that anyone, knowing me, would expect.’ ‘Your Highness—’ began Jord. ‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘I have made my decision. Call in Lazar. And Huet, he knows the hills. We plan the fight.’ Jord obeyed, and for a brief moment Damen and Laurent were left alone together. ‘I didn’t think you’d say yes,’ said Damen. Laurent said, ‘I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a hole in the wall.’

and laurent has taken damen’s philosophy of Rip The Thing Out of The Wall to heart, too!!!

It was a succinct speech that was equal parts rallying and infuriating,

i would love to actually read a laurent speech on the page. i’m imagining something between a regina george/heather chandler backhanded bitchy monologue, a dungeons and dragons player explaining their convoluted plan to the dm, and a musical theater director addressing the cast on opening night after a week of grueling dress rehearsals

‘Orlant’s dead.’ ‘Dead?’ said Damen. ‘He was killed by one of the insurgents?’ ‘He was one of the insurgents,’ he was told, shortly. ‘He attacked the Prince as he was returning to camp. Aimeric was there. He was the one who took Orlant down. Got cut up doing it.’

context: pretty sure orlant was trying to warn the prince about aimeric being a traitor…

He remembered Aimeric’s tense, white face, and thought it best, before riding out into a fight, to check on the boy.

damen gets a pass for this misjudgment of character because everyone else fell for it too (i think laurent fell for it? at least at this point?)

‘A traitor,’ Aimeric echoed hollowly. ‘Would you have killed him for that? He was your friend.’ And then he said it again in a different voice, ‘He was your friend.’

context: aimeric is a traitor. he asks jord, his “friend,” if he would kill a traitor (like him). and then he repeats the sentiment in a different voice, because aimeric cares about jord, and he knows that he killed jord’s friend and feels guilty about that.

Damen and the group of fifty men he led were the bait. With them were the wagons that mimicked the appearance of a full troop making an attempt at tiptoeing their way stealthily south, under cover of night. When the enemy attacked, they would appear to fall back, and instead lead the way to the remainder of the troop led by Laurent. The two groups would trap the attackers between them, cutting off any escape. Simple.

foreshadowing of them both being kings—competently in charge of their own forces—but proving more effective as a unified team

He saw the flash of confusion in Lazar’s eyes and thought for a single heart-pounding second that his order might not be followed—despite the authority that Laurent had lent him for this mission—because he was a slave.

okay but like i think the second you came back instead of attempting escape, you made it pretty clear to laurent and everyone else that you’re not

Their attackers fell back, or simply fell. Pulling his sword from the man who had tried to knife him, Damen saw the mercenary at his right fall victim to a precise killing. ‘I thought you were supposed to be the bait,’ said Laurent. ‘There was a change of plan,’ said Damen.

stop flirting, you’re in battle (just kidding, i love battle couples)

‘I’m not used to my uncle miscalculating,’ said Laurent, after a pause. ‘It’s because he’s working at a distance,’ said Damen. ‘It’s because of you,’ said Laurent. ‘What?’ ‘He doesn’t know how to predict you,’ said Laurent. ‘After what I did to you in Arles, he thought you’d be—another Govart. Another one of his men. Another one of those men today. Ready to mutiny at a moment’s notice. That was what was supposed to have happened tonight.’

context: i think this is true! which is funny that i have to specify, but since like 70% of what laurent says is in some way untrue for the first two books of this series, it does help

‘Instead, you have saved my life, more than once. You have made fighters of these men, trained them, honed them. Tonight you handed me my first victory. My uncle never dreamed you’d be this kind of asset to me. If he had, he would never have allowed you to ride out of the palace.’ He could see in Laurent’s eyes, hear in his words, a question that he did not want to answer.

“why are you helping me?”

there are other ways damen could be helping akielos, without helping laurent. they both know it. but he’s choosing to do this instead, and they both know that too.

He pushed away from the tree. He felt an odd dizziness, a sense of displacement, and to his surprise he was prevented from moving off by Laurent’s hand clasping his arm. He looked down at it. He thought for a strange moment that it was the first time Laurent had ever touched him, though of course it wasn’t; the grip was more intimate than the flutter of Laurent’s lips against his fingertips, the sting of Laurent striking his face, or the press of Laurent’s body in a confined space. ‘Leave the repairs,’ said Laurent. His voice was soft. ‘Get some sleep.’ ‘I’m fine,’ said Damen. ‘It’s an order,’ said Laurent. He was fine, but he had no choice but to do as he was told; and when he tumbled onto his slave pallet and closed his eyes for the first time in two long days and nights, sleep was there, heavy and immediate, drawing him down past the strange new feeling in his chest into oblivion.

head in my hands, i love them so much. so many of these little details remind me of the way it feels to develop feelings for someone—little signs that you could potentially fall all the way in love. the sensation of innately understanding that you could give this person your heart, mind, and body, and they would understand what to do with them. that you could want them to have those things, and you could want theirs too. not right now, perhaps never at all—but the potential is there. it’s a strange feeling because it’s a million feelings at once: excitement, enchantment, fear, confusion, and so on…

also, i think i made a note previously on the nature of tenderness through damen’s perspective. inflicting pain vs. caring touch. if i do any kind of overview at the end of this re-read, i’ll want to take a quote from this passage for that specific theme.

#zelda references are getting out of hand i blame the horses #also i love lamen so much it's unreal #capri #sam reads capri #captive prince #prince's gambit #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #lamen

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thetarttfuldickhead · 2 years ago

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I know that Jamie/Colin isn't the focus of this blog, but I really liked your "Locker Room Conversations" ficlet, and I was wondering if you had any headcanons/thoughts on how, in an alternate universe, a Jamie/Colin might shake out.

Well, to be honest I’ve never really thought about it too much since I don’t particularly ship Jamie/Colin, but let’s see what I can scrounge up for you, ey?

The one actual headcanon I do have:

Colin had a bit of a crush on Jamie back when Jamie first joined the team, and Jamie knew about it but never said anything. I entertain this notion at least half-seriously because I find it’s very entertaining to think about Jamie knowing and not really reflecting much on it, other than to go “uh yeah of course he has a crush on me who can blame him i mean have you seen me?”

Pre-canon angst

If you want something early and angsty and potentially canon-compliant, you could have the two of them hooking up before Jamie and Keeley get together (we have no idea when that was, but I think it was after Jamie joined Richmond purely for logistical reasons – hassle keeping a London girlfriend when you live in Manchester),. For Jamie it’s mostly about getting off and feeling a bit better about himself (both from making Colin feel good sexually and from Colin being a bit of a fanboy, giving his ego a boost) because Jamie’s not in a great place at this time. For Colin, there’s also feelings, so yes. Angst. Could end on that unhappy note, or you could go full AU and have Jamie slowly realizing that actually, he cares for Colin. (SHOCKER!) Obviously you’d need a turning point of Colin taking a stand and breaking things off with Jamie because he doesn’t want to be used like this anymore. He is a strong and capable man who deserves better! Cue Jamie having to prove his genuine affection and woe Colin back. Very classic rom-com vibe, and thus not my style at all, but I’m trying to give offer you a variety of flavour here.

Season 2 Enemies to lovers

In an another world, I think there’s a lot of potential for something set early during season 2, when Jamie first returns to Richmond. As mentioned in my recent post, I’m very intrigued by Colin’s reaction to this and how they go from him being very angry with Jamie to loving him so much, man. Besides, enemies to lovers is my one true ship trope, so I might even read this if I ever came across it.

Vanilla version: Colin is working hard to convince himself that he’s a strong and capable man, and he doesn’t need Jamie Tartt reminding him – simply by being around – of the person he used to be only a year before. Jamie is hellbent on repairing their friendship, though, and while initially Colin finds some measure of petty satisfaction at seeing Jamie’s bumbling attempts at making amends, he’s little by little and in spite of himself won over. I can see Jamie persistently taking him out on friend dates and Colin first agreeing only because he kind of enjoys torturing Jamie a little by being an ass, but Jamie is undettered and then they start having a really good time together and in therapy Colin comes to realize that part of his anger with Jamie is really anger with his own past behaviour – and maybe some shame over having had a crush on someone who was such an asshole. Over time, soft and mushy feelings develop. There are lots of hand-holding and cuddling and watching reality shows and bitching about the contestants together. They go on really stupid fucking adventures and love clubbing and once they come out to the team they are really kind of insufferable because their joint himbo energy is a threat to all of mankind, but they are so fucking adorable it’s hard to be mad (except for when they bring their bitchiest selves and team up to bring it down on everyone else, epic sassy style).

Dark/angsty/kinky version: Jamie is doing his best to make things right with the team, but Colin’s still not having it and in the end Jamie (remembering the crush Colin once had on him) offers sex as a way to make amends/prove how sincere he is. Colin can’t resist taking him up on the offer because even if he’s long over his crush the idea of Jamie kneeling in front of him, of Colin’s fist twisting in Jamie’s hair as he fucks his mouth, of Colin using Jamie however he sees fit and Jamie letting him… That does things for Colin, particularly when he’s in this vengeful state, yeah? Can end on a dark note, if that’s your jam, or end with some sweet comfort, aftercare and reconciliation.

Cracky post-canon poly shenanigans

Keeley is dating both Roy and Jamie, and while Jamie and Roy are not dating each other there’s this tension between them and yeah, maybe they wanna give this whole also sleeping with each other thing a go, except neither of them has ever done anything with another man before and so they’re a bit unsure about how to proceed and things keep Not Happening. (In this universe, Keeleys staunchly refuses to guide them, no matter how hot she’d find it, because she’s very much and rightly on the let Roy and Jamie sort Roy and Jamie out track.)

Jamie, glorious solution oriented himbo that he is, goes to Colin for some pointers on how to be gay, mate and after Colin stops staring inredulously at him he shrugs and gives him some general hints, the more gay love the better right, only Jamie soon comes back for a more hands-on tuition session because no, i tried, mate, but i just couldn’t figure it out, could you maybe show me instead? and Colin is a good friend (who once had a crush on Jamie), so yeah, that happens.

Keeps happening too, because everything Colin is teaching Jamie is working great and Roy and Jamie are very much getting it on and having a grand old time – but to no reader’s great surprise, there’s also some feelings starting to grow between Sassy Himbo No. 1 and Sassy Himbo No. 2. and in the end Jamie is not only dating Keeley and Roy but Colin too!

Colin only dates Jamie, though – the very idea of being involved with Keeley, a woman, or Roy, a Roy, is slightly nauseating and somewhat scary to him. There are no joint dates, no dinners for all four of them. Isaac is a little perplexed and initially concerned over the whole set-up but he sees how happy it makes his best friend so he rolls with it, even if he does end up having a talk with Roy about how he needs to make an effort to not look angry when Jamie and Colin go off together after training. I’m not angry, that’s just my face, Roy protests. Yeah, Isaac agrees, I know, bruv, but it’s freaking Colin out a little so maybe make an effort to not look like yourself, yeah? So the next time, Roy tries for a smile and Colin has trouble sleeping that night.

(For an extra helping of crack if Jamie/everyone is your thing: When the rest of the team learns of this, a few of the lads complain that it’s not fair that Keeley and Roy and Colin all get to have Jamie as their boyfriend when they don’t, but Jamie quickly assures them that he can be their boyfriend too! [Right… ? with sideway glances at Roy and Colin who just nod.] There’s plenty of Jamie to go around! Except he’s kind of busy with the partners he’s already got so maybe they need a scheduele and it’ll mostly be odd dates, but yeah, everyone who wants to can sign up for the Jamie Tartt Boyfriend Experience and in the end one fourth of the team is dating Jamie in some shape or form.)

That’s what I got for now. I hope at least one of them tickled your fancy, even if I strayed into OT3+ territory there for a bit...

#still don't particularly ship it #but i’d probably read the last one and maybe the season 2 enemies to lovers ones if I came across them #and i DID have a lot of fun dreaming these up ngl #so thank you very much for the ask! <3 #jamie tartt #colin hughes #jamie/colin #roy/keeley/jamie #asks

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isa-ah · 2 years ago

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Honestly thank you for your take. Like, I’m easily agitable and get grumpy from stupid things and I *know* from my personality that T /is/ gonna make me angrier. But every time I try to say that, my girlfriend (also trans) tells me it won’t and that’s misinformation. Like…… I fucking know my mood and I’m tired of people invalidating my reasonable expectations for who I am as a person. I think it’s unreasonable to just expect me to be able to keep my cool through T and not have an adjustment period. And I feels like garbage that if I’m somehow affected by an expected change, the alternative is to immediately cannon-ball into toxic masculinity and suck up all my feelings into stoicism.

these tags someone put on the original post vvvvv

#i got some pretty wild mood side effects on t and Yeah it affected my libido #but you know what? #T making me angry taught me a lot about anger #it was an emotion that had been explosive for me Before transition#and i had a really bad temper #T made me angry with enough regularity #that i had to learn to coexist with anger #to let anger exist and pass #i ironically gained a lot More patience because I got angry #i learned that it- like any other feeling- is worth looking at and examining#and now i pretty much never act in anger #i know how to be angry and let it exist and know it's not some Evil Sinful Thing or some Righteous Moral Fury#which i didn't before taking a medication that made me angry!!! #anger is okay! #being angry or horny or loud does not make you surrender all your morals and fundamentally doomed to being cruel to others! #no reaction in your body or emotion or feeling Dooms You to be Evil or Abusive #lots of things make people angry #and it's okay! #it's okay to be angry!

theres also the fact that like, theres a likelihood your gf went through a period of "boys will be boys" where she was allowed to experience puberty and act out and be a wild child freak as most kids experiencing a testosterone driven puberty are, around peers also going through it, around understanding of "well thats just how it is", with male role models to explain to her whats happening, why, and to some extent how to handle it; VS being in your twenties (assuming u are) and being expected to be polite and well mannered going through the Same Type of Puberty as a 13yo boy with all the problems of a 20smtn adult man, with a hearty lack of male role models to help you through it and MOUNTAINS of stress and work and the world burning down that a kids never going to have to deal with.

we dont get the leeway to have an adjustment period, and no amount of baby talking us into believing it wont happen will make it not happen. it just means we have to do the emotional labor to "spare" everyone else. (as dfab people are expected to do from childhood). given that testosterone does effect you in that way cause obviously its not the same for everyone, but you know yourself and you sound pretty damn aware of it.

have a messy transition! act out! be loud! you DESERVE to have the formative experience associated with your puberty, and youll probably learn a lot about yourself in the process. you have self awareness and coping skills a kids not going to have, so you CAN experience your anger, your aggression, and learn how to live WITH it instead of trying to bottle it up.

#obviously not boys will be boysing your gf you get what i mean. the peer and parental treatment likely associated w being young and amab #*likely bc like again obviously no 2 people have the same experience. im talking broadly

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shizunitis · 4 months ago

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@miaoqing hath taggeth me and thus. i answer

why did you choose your url?

so people would mistake me for @shizunstits

any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

@mark--er for anything unrelated to shizun/fandom, and a secret third one for. well. that’s my business.

how long have you been on tumblr?

since 2012, approximately? 2011, maybe?

do you have a queue tag?

i can’t figure out how to make it automatic…

why did you start your blog in the first place?

good question!

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

self-portrait

why did you choose your header?

shizun deserves support, love, respect, and to be handled with gentleness and care. he has old man hips.

what's your post with the most notes?

i’m not sure how i could check that, but it’s either one of my au’s from when i was young and excited, or the loyal ghost story? i’m sorry, i really don’t know 😞

how many mutuals do you have?

enough to make me sit and think about how much i love the world every now and then. every one of them, i respect and cherish dearly

how many followers do you have?

enough to intimidate me 😞 i’m used to yapping to myself, so this is. uh. overwhelming? but the warm and good kind. it’s fitting that it happened because of shizun… he truly is a treasure…

how many people do you follow?

226

have you ever made a shitpost?

what i do is speak my mind, not shitpost. i bless and curse people with my joy and sorrow. my funny shizun thoughts. write that down. but yeah, i suppose most of my posts are either shitposts or sad/melancholy/yearning shizun musings

how often do you use tumblr each day?

once. like my thinking of shizun, it never ends, so.

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no. but i got very close, once. i respect what danmei-confessions is trying to do but. GOD. god leave my boy and my shizun alone. please

how do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

useless, condescending, annoying, does nothing, reeks of self-righteousness. shame does not work the way some people think it does

do you like tag games?

sometimes. i love seeing others’, i’m very lazy.

do you like ask games?

i do! a lot!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

odd question, mefears

do you have a crush on a mutual?

yes. i giggle every time they interact with my posts. it’s very embarrassing

what is the last song you listened to?

stars by tai verdes, it’s almost depressions season

what are you currently watching?

jerma vods, if that counts? i’ve been meaning to re-watch, you guessed it, the svsss donghua

sweet/savoury/spicy?

any and all flavours are good <3 depends on my mood.

what is your current relationship status?

courting two characters that are married to each other and one of them has two alternate universe counterparts that i’m also attempting to woo. it’s complicated.

what is your current obsession?

…guess? you’ll never get it, i promise.

what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately?

steve lacy’s dark red, hozier’s unreal unearth, some of taylor swift’s songs, syml’s the bird and the boy, radiohead’s amnesiac, epic: the musical, conan gray’s lonely dancers (but the album as well) and unlike pluto’s we’re screwed (PEAK. BINGQIU. also the orv animatic with this song? OUGH)

tagging anyone who would like to join in <3 (i’m insecure but mostly i want everyone to have fun so i can watch like a benevolent guardian)

#tag game

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monk-of-figaro · 1 year ago

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Fanfic: Every King Needs His Guard (by Rynling)

I found this story on Archive of Our Own. Approximate read time is probably around two or three minutes (unlike this blog post of mine, which is now probably clocking in around ten minutes of read time because I can't stop having thoughts).

Here's the author's description:

Cid finds his way from his outpost on a solitary island to the kingdom of Figaro, where he offers his services to the king. Edgar is duty-bound to protect the people who come under his care, while Sabin will do anything to protect his brother.

SPOILERS AHEAD

This story has stuck in my brain in a very uncomfortable way, which is an odd way for me to begin since my goal with sharing fanfics is to highlight what I liked about a story. But this one took me a bit to appreciate, I think, because it was much darker than I was expecting.

This story made me ask myself a question I had not given any prior thought to before: Given all his history and his actions that took place before we meet him in the game, does Cid deserve to be redeemed? He is, after all, the primary scientist through whose work and "genius" an entire species was subject to torture, experimentation, and death - to say nothing of the human cost of his work for the Empire.

This question had never really occurred to me because by the time we meet Cid in-game, he's already shown to be remorseful about what his work has enabled. There seems some level of obfuscation - either deliberately through the game's designers, or by the expectation of traditional allyship that the "Cid" character plays in each Final Fantasy title, or perhaps both - that separates Cid from the monstrosity of the Magitek factory and its purpose. To me, the horrors of Magitek science were more associated with Kefka, although in retrospect, that association may have been due more to my own biases - associating the obviously evil factory with the obviously evil man.

After the factory section of the game, Cid isn't really seen again until Celes' introduction into the World of Ruin. That entire sequence frames him very sympathetically; he first functions as Celes' caregiver, then as her adoptive "grandfather", then as her first palliative charge, and finally as the catalyst for her own emotional nadir (or alternatively, as the much more boring guy-who-points-her-to-the-staircase-with-the-escape-raft).

All in all, the framing of Cid throughout the entirety of FF6 paints him as a misguided but lovable father figure, who rescues the Returners and then Celes before quietly and nobly succumbing to the mentor's death required for our hero. A "good guy" death.

But is Cid really a "good guy"? Moreover, should a "good guy" be allowed a chance at redemption if all his prior work arguably led up to the destruction of the world?

"Hey, this is a blog about Sabin! Why are you yammering on and on about Cid???"

Okay, fair point. Although also, shut up; I can do whatever I want.

If Cid's redemption is the question posed, this fanfic provides an answer as seen and carried out by Sabin.

(See? I was going to bring it back around!)

This fanfic is presented mostly from Sabin's viewpoint in third-person. Although he doesn't say a word the entire story, we get tremendous insight into how well he knows his brother Edgar, and how far he'll go to protect him not just physically, but emotionally and - with surprising awareness - politically.

This story stuck in my brain in a very uncomfortable way because Sabin gets his hands dirty in a way we've never seen. By the end of the story, on a surface level, he appears as nothing more than a hit man, a thug, or a goon. I thought it was very out of character for him to simply be the brutal "muscle" for doing dirty work.

But because the story kept bouncing around my brain, I've since realized that it's exactly in character for him. Sabin loves Edgar to the extent that he's willing to be his unofficial, unsanctioned executioner. He wants Edgar to keep his hands clean so that he can be the ruler he needs to be. He understands Edgar's true desires without needing them to be spoken, without needing to make eye contact, without Edgar needing to break a part of his own soul by even acknowledging the darkness he desires. Sabin reads this darkness solely by watching his brother's face, and by knowing Edgar's soul as well as he knows his own.

It may be Sabin's attempt to repay Edgar for the sacrifice he had made for Sabin. Edgar shouldered the burden of the kingdom so that Sabin could have his freedom, and now Sabin will shoulder the burden of retributive justice so that Edgar may have his peace.

I'm not sure whether I'll adopt this version of post-game events into my own personal head-canon; I honestly think I need more time to reflect on it. But I'm very glad I read this piece. It's one of those works that challenged me in a surprising way, and will likely color how I think about the world and characters of FF6 forever.

Rynling has several other pieces that I've also enjoyed tremendously, so I highly encourage everyone to check them out. I can't wait to write up about "The Queens Tears" later.'

You can find Rynling on AO3, as well as a couple of Tumblr accounts:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rynling/profile

https://pocketseizure.tumblr.com/

https://rynling.tumblr.com/

#ff6 #ff6 fanfic #sabin rene figaro #edgar roni figaro #cid del norte marquez #figabros #rynling

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