#in a way i think its better dont say here

[spectrumgarden]

it feels like everywhere often im trying to grab onto something and shake it tobreak the barrier between me and others, shake it loose and watch it crumble, hit the glass wall between me nd the world until it breaks. i try it with words but often the more sincere i am, people think i joke. if they understand im sincere, they still often dont understand me, the saame way i dont understand them.

they dont understand my life and often its like "getting to know me" is people understand my interests and then just engage with me through them & i like when they do because it makes sense in some way but it feels like they still dont know me, but i also dont know me.

little bits and pieces.

walk in the waiting room and theres no two spots next to each other and my mother asks in which of the two seperate ones i wanna sit and i freeze, i dont move, i cant, i sit next to her, i dont have strangers on both sides. i sway on my feet. a woman gets up next to one of the empty seats, goes to the other across the room, says here u go, u can sit next to each other. smiles at my mother. i think i know the smile. the smile says here, i hope i make the day a bit easier, its hard with a disabled child. i end up pacing up and down the waiting room 10 minutes later anyways. i hate waiting rooms. they say 5 and its never five and i know its never five but then its past five and i want to jump and run and hide, they said its five.

"does he tolerate treatment?" i rock in the dentist chair. i want to scream but i cant. i want to leave but i try hard so i rock harder. we get food at the bakery downstairs. i only like one thing. i wish i liked more. maybe i like more, but not here, not now, my head says no, only this, only this, only this. my mother asks why i act worse than other doctors visits recently. "all new" cold screen on my fingertips.

all walls are white and all hallways are long and all rooms are square in some way and all doors are the same. now theres stickers on the floor of the workshop. one color bathroom, one color lunch room, one color quiet room. there is paintings and there is a glass door and there is things but all i know is they are there when i see them. sometimes my feet just take me to the right place, and im happy. i figured out how the two doors lead to the same place.

its loud. i get up and walk. i want a place to hide. sit between the cars. plastic creaks. i dont want to get yelled at for breaking. i get up and walk. "please go back" inside head. walk more. legs hurt. sit under a bridge. now its safe. im far away. alone. im happy there was the bridge. under it is good. i nearly went above, full of cars. im happy my body went below. because my body doesnt listen. the sun is bright and the air is cold and my hands freeze. i walk "back" but i dont know where that is. a carer rides up to me on his bike "did you get lost?" i take a step back. /punished. yelled at. send home, parents yell. / but he smiles and backs away. people are nice now, here. i tell him my body just walks, and he nods.

my sister gifts me a plushie. i hug it all morning. my sister always gifts me toys. i like them. she smiles and says "i know you!" and i wonder is plushies and lego who i am? Who am i?

thick plastic covered things the way of medical therapy space. praise for my hands work. sometimes im a good kid, when im better than the others. when they shake and my lines are clean. when they jump and i sit still.

i bite my hands but i dont bleed and they say nothing. my mother looks at the marks later. "did you bite again?" i dont understand why she asks. she can see it.

three or four carers. maybe 8 other teens and adults. down syndrome and ID and autism and others. i wander off and sit under the stairs and hit my head. "dont you want to look at this museum with us? Yes? come with me. stand up. grab your bag. come with me" i swear it sounds sweet to me when she says it. ("hey, are you gonna keep an eye on him in the exhibition?)

words are thrown away or maybe stored in a place i forget about them.

my friends often giggle when i hold my glass with both hands. "its cute, like a kid". i feel shaky. i try hard not to spill. i wonder do they understand what they say.

[heartnanase]

scaramouche

i dont know what this is but my love life has been cooking recently so i decided to write again after months (i’ve been left on delivered for 16 minutes so you guys get angst)

“look seriously? don’t be like that— hey! wait! it wasn’t my choice! the fatui? i wanted you to be safe!”

“im getting married. deal with it.” you said while quickly walking, holding onto the sides of your heavy wedding dress, not even 3 minutes into putting on your outfit and you already regret wearing heels. “who? tartaglia huh?” he looked like a fool, you assumed he did at least. getting the courage to look at him was difficult. “it’s ajax.” you coldly say. you could picture his eye roll in your head as he mumbles a “whatever.” all you could do was watch his shadow in the corner of your eye trying to match your pace, while he reached to grab your hand. you angrily turn to him. “no! no just go! its been five years and now i’m just supposed to believe that you suddenly want me again?” all he can do is stare at your teary eyes, all he can do is chuckle. it’s weird, you had no clue why you were crying. was it cause the way he trims his hair now is different? was it cause his voice has changed, it sounds restless; was it cause it’s been so long? or was it because your heart still beats the same for him as it once did years ago. it didn’t matter how you felt anymore, you had a husband. well you will have a husband. so—

“listen okay? i just needed you to be safe” he cuts off your thoughts. scaramouche is nervous, he thinks he’s hiding it well with his smirk but he’s really not. you watch as he awkwardly try and fix his posture and grins at you, shoving his hands in his pocket hoping you didn’t notice his shaky fingers. you couldn’t stay here with him much longer, ajax would be furious. it’s not like you loved ajax, nor did he love you. it was a mutual agreement that your marriage would be perfect considering you and ajax both came from respectable families. however your dad always hated scaramouche, and you wish you listened to your father about how boys like him are pieces of shit. “you don’t get to decide that!”

scaramouche scoffs, “so what? what would that make me if i was the reason you died?” you slowly gulped as you both stood in science. he sighs and continues, “look i love you okay i still do and being away from you was one of the hardest things i’ve done!” you kinda always hoped the break up hurt scaramouche, even if it was just a little bit. you hoped that seeing you with someone else makes him bite his inner cheek. so it makes you feel better about drawing doodles of him. and making playlists dedicated to him. and learning the stupid piano just so you could play his favourite songs. “you have no right… no right to come back into my life!” your lip quivered, “it took me so long to fall asleep without you. do you know how difficult it is to eat with a heavy heart? maybe you didn’t kill me physically but the world stopped spinning the day you left so if you’re trying to come back the moment i’m starting to feel okay i’m not letting you.” of course you still loved him, but he was the reason why you put such restrictions on love. and now you cant even break your own rules, not even for him. scaramouche opens his mouth to speak but a voice calls out for you.

“hey! ajax is looking for you!” a guest you didn’t even know yelled from across the room. you look at scaramouche one more time before walking past him.

[donitkitt]

Hey just a thought here, maybe part of the reason your traction is slipping on Twitter is that Musk Balls is shadowbanning anyone with their bluesky handle in their name or description. Cause ya know. Pettiness

I saw that rumor going around too (i only say rumor bc i dont know if its true)

I remember that they would suppress any kind of link to blusky n thats why people use censored ways of promoting theirs I did take my blusky handle off, I just think twitter is just not a good place for business for artists anymore. Its sad, and I hope it either gets better one day, or tumblr and blusky become better for freelance artists.

I'm still gonna post there, its just very sad to have worked this hard to build an audience there and now only get maybe 6 likes on something that would have gotten hundreds sflksmdlkmf

[rhaenicentpilled]

here it iss

1. whats your favorite thing in your room? The bed Duh.

2. how tall do you wish you were? Something around 165/170 maybe.

3. what color is your hair? Brown but not virgin anymore :’(

4. whats a rare fear that you have? Im a sheep even in my fears so nothing out of norm fears.

5. are you single? As a dollar bill baby (heard this from a JT song).

6. has your heart ever been broken? By love? No.

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid? Reading!

8. favorite coping mechanism? Dk actually.

9. whats your favorite love language? To receive? Word of affirmation, to give physical touch maybe.

10. how often do you get nervous? A Lot!

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them? Yes obviously but I would overthink them a loooot that the genie would probably ditch me.

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be? LATIN! Because I would love to be fluent is something as ancient but also more basic answers like Spanish which im alr learning, something from south Asia like Tamil, something from east Asia like Korean or Chinese, something from Africa like i want to know all languages.

13. where do you wish to live? Everywhere all at once, but maybe somewhere by the beach but still city populated you know?

14. what’s something surprising about you? Not sure really. 😅

15. when did you last shower? Today!

16. when did you first join tumblr? Way back then but I keep deleting accounts and coming back.

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why? Yess, i would love a sleeve, maybe a tramp stamp, definitely something on the thigh so basically a sketchbook vibe. No real idea about the actual tattoos nor their significance lol.

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had? Currently thankfully im not dreaming about anything prominent but I used to dream about malls a lot ( yes shopping malls, literally every dream..).

19. whats your dream job? Something well paying, not a desk, something I enjoy, now its just up to capitalism to makeup a job for me.

20. whats your ideal date? Cinema /dinner duo never disappoints I feel but its too first-datey so idk.

21. what do you wish you could do better? Self discipline.

22. what country would you live in if you could? Again everywhere but no country in particular i feel a draw to.

23. whos the best person you know? Cringe answer im legally obliged to say my family and friends.

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have? No? Thankful.

25. whats your favorite holiday? Summer break because its the longer break, but winter/spring for the actual festivities and having fun.

26. when have you been most embarrassed? Last week when i had a presentation and i felt my voice going ooOoOoo Not fun.

27. whats your favorite halloween costume? Dont celebrate Halloween myself, but for people I love either really weird costumes or really slutty ones.

28. what are you best at? Dk 🫣

29. do you know how to tie your shoes? Yup! I do the bow/ bunny ears one.

30. do you have siblings? Yup! Im a middle child lets keep it at that.

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know? Weird answer but hows earth as a whole doing :) I love my little rock.

32. whats a dealbreaker for you? If we dont vibe, like realllly dont. I usually have a decent enough read of people so yeah thats a dealbreaker.

33. whats your favorite current class? Something about AI and business, the lecturer is doing too much but the course is fun.

34. how many people have you dated? 0, unfortunately my hair is the only non virgin thing in me.

35. how often do you wash your hair? Once a week, twice if its being really difficult.

36. do you daydream? what about? Yes, usually about my latest celeb crush :)

37. where do you go to be alone? My bed Duh.

38. which parent do you like more? Legally obliged to say Mom. sorry dad!

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to? To never be stick in the mud, to be constantly curious and active brain wise and i think im doing good so far.

40. whos voice do you enjoy? Music wise? a lot of singers, i dont even mind listening to annoying ones when their instrumentals are beautiful im not picky with it.

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be? From the river to the sea Palestine will be free, every tyrant need to hear that :)

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet? Diving!

43. what do you wish you never did? Actually idk but i dont like living a life of regrets so maybe i just wiped it from my brain

44. do you believe in life after death? Yes.

45. do you prefer book over movie? Yes absolutely because i love imagining worlds plucked from authors minds however with the declining of book qualities i reach for movies when i want something to engage me.

46. whats your favorite season? Spring.

47. whats your favorite time of day? Early morning till early afternoon, then late afternoon till 8 also late nights duhh.

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal? I do have a precious polar bear from Jellycat, a gray kitty gifted by my precious friend and a bunch of others i dont sleep with them.

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently? My entire childhood but again whats the point of regrets now yolo!

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought? Me regreting a purchase? Please bffr. I do thankfully never regret buying stuff i love buying stuff! Or maybe when i spend the last bit of money of something thats not a necessity i regret it until i get money again

51. do you have your own room? Sorta kinda.

52. whats your favorite book? A poetry collection called “bless the daughter raised by a voice in her head”. Beautifully crafted and i reread it every year on my bday!

53. who’s someone you hate? Everyone but also not nearly enough people 😇.

54. whats your best hottake? Again im a sheep with these takes, but idk i truly think the losses of communities between people is the loss of us as humans.Cold ass take

55. whats your favorite game? On phone, candy crush a suburban mom at heart, a video game is probably Zelda. Dont mind ive been stuck on botw for literal years.

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear? When the panic attacks hits ha!

57. are you a morning person? 6am morning? No. 10 am morning? Yes.

58. do you drink enough water? No but this reminded me so thx x.

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be? A lot more outspoken and confident!

60. do you enjoy tumblr? Well ive been back for a less than a week so give me time to hate it again.

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app? No.

62. whats your least favorite game? bayonetta not because its a bad game because its so hard i gave up.

63. were you a markiplier fan? No, my knowledge of him is his face and name.

64. how do you respond to compliments? Blush and immediately fire it back to them.

65. whats something that would make you fall in love? Im hopeless romantic at heart i dont think it’ll take much.

66. do you believe in marriage? The eternal commitment of one soul to another absolutely, the more boring societal enforced parts nope

67. do you have a crush on someone? Rn? Nope.

68. do you like tumblr? Meh, hardly top 3 sm apps imo. idk how ppl just mainly use it. Is it the nostalgia be honest

69. were you a voltron stan? No i was normal 😊

70. whats your favorite ship? Look at my user! Rhaenicent my beloved doomed yuri

71. whats your favorite song? Rn? Roc Steady by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Flo Milli.

72. do you like loud crowds? Impartial leaning to no.

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose? Yup! Favourite pastime 😈

74. how do you sleep? On my back, or either sides no real preference.

75. do you bite your lips? Haha yes, was doing it just now.

76. do you use chapstick? Yup!

77. do you have any pets? Noo :(

78. what color are your eyes? Brown! Supremacy.

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself? Nah we are not doing that, i love myself as it is, physically or otherwise 🫶

80. have you ever had surgery? Thankfully no!

81. whats your least favorite animal? Scared of anything that isnt a trained pet so its a broad category.

82. whats something that youre really bad at? Not to toot my own horn but nothing? I can’t remember anything really and i feel if i wanted something to do i would be Ok at whatever i wished!

83. do you have an sqishmellows? I have a tiny squid thats two faced.

84. do you enjoy fast food? Guilty.

85. do you like soda? Guiltyyyy.

86. what grade are you in? University sophomore baby.

87. do you wear any jewelry? My earrings and nose ring always, and bracelets and necklaces depending on the day.

88. what socials do you use? In order of most usage, Twitter, Tiktok, IG, tumblr now made the list ( i have discord and reddit but i dont really use them).

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now? If im not careful im looking at a scathing C oops.

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till? Yesterday till 7 am oops.

91. did you ever have bangs? Yess, love the buildup to getting them, then you get them and the regrets set it, mine are finally normal length now.

92. what trends did you hate? Any of 20-22 trends really in clothing specifically but the online spaces as a whole sucked then lol.

93. whats your favorite item of clothing? Shirts!

94. do you like dinosaurs? birds weird ancestors. Absolutely!

95. whats your opinion on body hair? Its alright, its there its your body just like i dont have an opinion on peoples bodies, the hair is included.

96. whats your least favorite time? Noon but only for the heat.

97. do you make a wish at 11:11? When i catch the time yes why not a cute superstition.

98. do you have your phone on military or regular? Regular, be normal yall…

99. have you ever been to church? No! Been to another place of worship though.

100. are you lgbtq? Duh im a queer!

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[morningsharksworld]

Rainy Days🌧️

Hazard x Reader

A/N: It’s been raining here for a couple of days and what’s better than wrapping yourself in a blanket? Having a bigass bf that can give you twice the warmth.

Summary: Hazard spends time with you at your place

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

The storm outside raged with a ferocity that rattled the windows of your workshop. Rain lashed against the glass, and the occasional crack of thunder made you jump despite yourself. But inside, the world was warm and quiet, a sanctuary from the chaos beyond.

You sat on the worn couch in the corner of the room, wrapped in a blanket. Beside you, Hazard lounged, his arms draped casually along the back of the couch. His presence was as steadying as the glow of the workshop’s dim lights. You’d never admit it out loud, but moments like this made your heart feel fuller than it had in years.

“Ye´dont need to keep checkin’ the window” he said, his thick Scottish accent rolling over you like the warmest whiskey. “The storm’s not gonna burst in here an’ take us by surprise.”

You gave him a playful glare. “Maybe I’m just making sure you’re not going to bolt back outside for some harebrained stunt.”

Hazard’s laugh was deep and rumbling, like distant thunder, but far more comforting. “Aye, I’ve done my share of daft things, but I will not be leavin’ yer side tonight. ‘Specially when it’s this cozy.”

You rolled your eyes, but the faint blush creeping up your neck betrayed your amusement. “Cozy, huh? You’re just saying that because you’re hogging most of the blanket.”

“Ach, come here then” he said, shifting to drape the blanket over you properly. His arm slid around your shoulders as he pulled you closer. “Better?”

You hesitated for a moment, then let yourself relax against him. The solid warmth of his chest, the faint scent of smoke and metal that always seemed to cling to him, made your worries melt away.

“Much better” you murmured, the words barely audible above the storm.

“Ye know lass, I’ve been thinkin’” he began, his voice softer now. “In all my years, I’ve seen explosions, chaos, an’ more close calls than I care to count. But nothin’—an’ I mean nothin’—compares to moments like this.”

You tilted your head to look up at him, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “You mean... moments where you’re not actively blowing things up?”

Hazard snorted, shaking his head. “Aye, somethin’ like that. You’ve got a way of makin’ me feel... grounded. An’ that’s not somethin’ I’m used to.”

Your chest tightened at his words, a warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the blanket. “You’re not so bad yourself” you said softly, your fingers lightly tracing the edge of his prosthetic arm. “When you’re not driving me up the wall, that is.”

Hazard chuckled again, the sound vibrating through you. “Ach, admit it, ye love it. Keeps life interestin’, eh?”

“Maybe” you said, a small smile tugging at your lips.

He tightened his hold on you, resting his chin atop your head. “Ye’re somethin’ else, ye know that?”

The storm outside seemed distant now, its fury no match for the warmth of his embrace. Minutes passed in comfortable silence, the two of you simply enjoying the closeness. His fingers absently traced patterns along your arm, a small, soothing gesture that made your eyelids grow heavy.

“Have ye ever thought about what’s next?” he murmured suddenly, his voice low and thoughtful.

“What do you mean?” you asked, tilting your head slightly to look up at him.

“This life, the missions, the danger... it’s a wild ride. But sometimes, I think about somethin’ quieter. Maybe a small place of our own. No storms, no explosions. Just us.” His gaze softened, a rare vulnerability showing through.

Your heart swelled at his words, the thought of a future with him warming you more than the blanket ever could. You reached up, brushing a stray strand of hair from his face. “That sounds perfect” you whispered.

His lips curved into a soft smile, and he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Perfect.”

And as the storm continued its futile assault outside, the two of you stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, dreaming of a tomorrow filled with peace and quiet moments just like this.

[samtamdan]

[umblrspectrum]

do you ever like wanna make something cool but you dont know how so you just sit around like a moron for 5 hours straight pretending you know how

me neither

on a more serious note i know ad astra as a whole isnt over but i still want to thank daybreaker for their fics. what friends are for was the very first md fic i ever stumbled upon when trying out ao3 for the first time, and prior to joining the server i was checking it near daily for uploads. god knows if i'd be as deep in ao3 as i am now if it werent for this story and convenient timing. Thanks for the story.

[mvmnbnv]

*ahem* wow okay so a couple things

one, I'm not a jinx stan. I have mad respect for jinx but I'm a Vi stan through and through

two: the first half was s1

three: Jinx had every right to want to fucking murder someone (yes Vi) who ended up on the side of her oppressor and released poisonous gas into the air as if it wasn't already bad enough

four: she was a literal child trying to help her family...and its not her fault piltover is so shitty that one of its enforcers decided locking up a child was a good thing to do for her safety...pleaase the fact that you think that's jinx fault is so funny and sad at the same time.

Five: Vi makes an ablelist remark too calling jinx delusional twice but you dont seem to care...

and who tf is victimizing jinx lmao?? I'm saying she was done dirty. I never said she was a saint, I never said she didn't hurt Vi. I'm saying she's at a point in s2 where she loves Vi way more than caitlyn does but somehow the writers think she's the issue...when the oppressive system they've lived under has always been the real issue. When cait's over here calling her people animals, gassing them, and never says even does something as little as saying sorry to vi for any of the shit she's done to her. There's no remorse on her part at all...not even to that small degree. everything you mentioned is the result of piltover's bullshit, and quite frankly i couldnt give less of a shit what jinx does to them, fuck them. they can burn. they are the problem. And jinx's case is one of the many where i can say an apology isn't warranted or needed, one because Vi's the one who flipped to the oppressive side, and two, jinx does things in s1 that you cant wash away with "sorry", but instead just makes an effort to be better in s2. Unlike cait, whos arc is just garbage. One of the writers literally said she would be second in command to ambessa if not for vi. that mf has no moral compass on her own. Jinx can do good whether vi is there or not. Not to mention jinx and cait's actions are not and never will be on par bc of the amount of power caitlyn has...so yea figure it out

this shit is hardly mental gymnastics just common sense

neither jinx or cait say sorry for anything they do, both of them have done shit that cant be undone with sorry, but again, jinxs actions will never equate to caits one, and she actually makes an effort to show vi she cares and has genuine moments w her. cait literally could never and were just left with "microexpressions" n shit

thinking about how these writers literally outright say jinx was the issue in Vi's life while also having cait show no genuine love for vi in any way

Jinx was the one who pulled her out of her pitfighter arc. Cait was too busy going through with martial law to even be bothered to give a shit where Vi was

Jinx was the one that even after everything Vi had done and how angry she was with her, wanted to still be a family with her. To build their family back together, to have Vi be apart of her life along with Isha.

Jinx was the one who found Vi's father and went with Vi to a place where they could heal, stay, and help them out and again...be happy together.

When I tell you these writers can go fuck themselves. It was JINX who loved her sister genuinely, who had looked out for her when the person they put her with in turn couldnt have given less of a shit. just being a dictator and sleeping with someone else. only having Vi be the thing that stops it from happening again...and even that isnt a guarantee considering she hit vi in act 3 for trying to ground her.

WHAT. ARE. THEY. SMOKIIING??? Jinx is literally the one that loves Vi the way she deserves and is the one who loves Vi DESPITE what she cant do for her... im sorry im just angry with how dirty they did jinx and the fact that they literally think shes the problem like??? WTF??W?ASFDJASDJFD

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

[suntails]

loyalty

[bigskydreaming]

Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.

But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!

Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.

Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.

I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....

With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....

Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?

[spaciebabie]

at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

[rxttenfish]

as wwdits rounds out its final season, i cant help but think about how the movie ended. as in, the first movie, the one that started this, before the tv show, the one that put forth the idea to have a tv show for it.

which is, if you know how wwdits the movie ends, you know it ends disappointingly. viago reunites with his lover, yes, and transforms her into a vampire, but this is also the only real closure or straightforward happiness we get. vladislav got back together with his ex in a relationship that was unrewarding and harmful to both of them, the ex-familiar immediately makes her husband her new familiar, petyr is dead for good, and what we see of the werewolves is still tense, still clearly not the best situation nor what stu wanted, who went through something traumatic without a lot of closure. its a point being made about cycles repeating, about the disappointment of eternal life and being unable to escape all the same problems that you had as a human, about vampires never changing.

and i kind of worry, because i feel like this kind of disappointing "let down" ending is the kind of thing that would also be appropriate for wwdits the show. the vampires dont change. they try, and they attempt to break the cycle that theyve been following ever since they were made vampires, but they just cant. in essence, they all feel deeply depressed in a way that they cant actually name and refuse to acknowledge, and everything weve seen suggests that vampires will do everything they can to REFUSE to acknowledge that.

but its also the ending that i think people will hate. i think people want them to be happy and they want nandermo to be happy and a couple, they want everything to work out, but i dont think it will. and i dont think the show is any worse if it doesnt work out, if it doesnt end happily, if it continues the cycle of dissatisfaction, if it feels like theyre all just treading the same water. it doesnt make it any less impactful queer media, it doesnt undo the pride parade episode, it doesnt make what its done go away, it doesnt take away anything it already has.

i dont know. i worry a lot about people feeling like they are owed happy endings in media thats fundamentally disinterested in there being a happy ending.

[postmail]

this was supposed to be a sketch of what ishmael might look like if he grew his hair out post-canon and i blacked out and woke up to this on my computer. help where have the past two hours of my life gone

no tattoos yet because he's fresh off the sea and in nantucket again for the first time since the pequod. i don't think he's happy to be back guys

[dan-whoell]

i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it

alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that

[gladiatorcunt]

han solo wants what atton rand has