#in a certain fandom that im fixated on rn
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jsdimensions · 11 months ago
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do you ever just. decide to write the most self-indulgent, unorthodox fanfic ever
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rgbstatic · 2 months ago
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come on brain latch onto one of your bajilion aus and hyperfixate please I want to draw
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jazzzzzzhands · 1 year ago
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UWWAAAAA thank you thank you guys!! i know this isnt a lot really in the grand scheme, but its a lot to me!! im very sentimental about it actually QwQ ive been under-the-radar for just oh so long (8 years on tumblr!!) and just throwing my art out anyways because i love it! ((If i am my only fan, so be it!!)) But lately to be having my art be loved and shared?? it makes me want to draw more! to play more! to get better and try new things!! Im so sorry i did not prepare a special art for this occasion! but i will let you know that i am making something... very special!!!
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shhh i'm cooking!!
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triona-tribblescore · 7 months ago
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bestie im form ireland my bad 😭😭 can i call you 🌳na /j
IM DOING SO GOOD HOW ARE U WHAT FANDOM ARE U FIXATING ON RN
WAIT WHAAAAATT?!!!! OMG!!! ANOTHER IRISH MOOTIE FOR THE LIST :DDD WAIT THATS SO FUN :DD (no no that just makes it 10x better trust me-)
(also i beg to be called 🌳na, peek naming right there)
IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THO!! :D Oh my god hazbin hotel has my whole brain rn, but like, mainly only certain characters, the brainrot is so deep TwT you???
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suffarustuffaru · 7 months ago
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The fanbase is scaring me, the redesigns brought up some weird people that are REALLY passionate about Liliana being half naked
Like theres a whole war going on on twitter rn and the poor character designer got harassed
My problem is with the amount of people upset with this, like i knew we had a bunch of pedos around because of the way tappei writes the girls, but damn i didnt think there were this many of them 💀
yes ive heard about that....... im answering your ask late oops haah but i hope the situations a Bit better..... the toxic parts of this fandom give me a headache but my usual motto is to stay off twitter, touch grass, ignore people, and then hold onto my own viewpoints unless proven wrong alsjdflsdj but like. yeah this fandom is a bit tough to stay in when it comes to certain circles (for example the amount of people low quality shitposting / ranting about the fandom or whatever on rezero ao3 atm in the past days/weeks is. mm. interesting). not my first time being in larger fandoms that make you sometimes feel like youre fighting in the trenches (you could name off a few big fandoms notorious for being toxic that date back to like 2016 and odds are ive been in a couple lajdlf) but yeah seeing people complain about liliana and capella's designs and then overly fixate on emilia's boobs when these three characters have more to bring to the table than just that and theres lots and lots of good things to say about the s3 trailer and their designs..... mm. yeah. im squinting hard at a few of the things ive heard on that. but anyway!!
like the new designs are an Improvement. In General. like ok, as a boob haver myself ("boob haver" is the funniest phrase to me alsdjfls but it is true nonetheless, i am one) i do not give a shit about emilias larger boobs like ok?? her boobs are bigger?? she is still my fav ever and sometimes it just happens when youre still a growing teen/young adult and emilias back to her more revealing main outfit when she wore a different outfit in s2 so the difference in chest size is really not that much. but liliana and capella? those are Improved designs. i think ive talked abt the treatment of underage characters / characters who appear underage on my blog before (and i definitely couldve worded myself better then but i stand behind the fact that some of the stuff otsuka and tappei do regarding this in rezero is just Unnecessary).
could designs like emilia's still be improved on in other ways? yeah 100%, just in the sense that there could probably be changed a bit to fit her slightly more timid and soft spoken personality. or you could take different directions on it in general if you wanted. ive seen some great redesigns of her main outfit!! though her main outfit in of itself is pretty nice to look at imo and its iconic and well-known for a reason. im of the personal opinion that i wish it was a little less revealing in the same vein that her s2 main outfit was (i like that outfit a lot!!) but its still a really solid design overall.
i had some faith after seeing the anime designers fix up typhoon's original design to be More Appropriate, and i love how the essence of liliana and capella's designs were kept the same. like its not just that theyre a little less revealing (and even then, theyre both still showing a lot of skin!!! which is good!!! i like the improvement while keeping the main stuff the same), but stuff like liliana's pants aren't transparent (probably to make it easier to animate?) and the yellow/orange gradient in capella's hair looks great!! they also both look more like grown women which is a bonus. unless youre Weird about this shit which is unfortunately a small percentage of the rezero community. like you cant win with those sort of people ig, bc capella's boobs are bigger too ljasdlfj youd think that win more people over.
also i appreciate capella's sports bra bc unlike elsa's outfit it Actually looks like it's supporting her chest. if youre someone with boobs and you dont have a flat chest, youre gonna need support when being active or itll Hurt. and elsa Does Not have proper chest support okay. ill forever wince remembering elsa's design in that sense HAH....
anyway but i digress. i got no clue what to do with toxic people in fandoms despite spending a lot of time lurking in large fandoms with loud toxic people haah.... its hard to do much about it especially with increasingly declining media literacy rates everywhere.... the notorious misogyny/homophobia/etc that can happen sometimes in anime communities.... that sort of thing. i kinda just avoid it when it comes to rezero in specific, or briefly talk about it on here, or rant about it to myself in my head or chat with pals about it in private if it really frustrates me that much!! and id say im a pretty patient person hah... im not frustrated often. and the fandom is not all weird people of course and i can attest to that as ive chatted with a lot of people here... ive also seen a lot of people leave due to the fandom's Issues which is. totally fair tbh.
and i think rezero is often a "baby's first fandom" so to speak... i dont mean that in a bad way of course but its more like its the first exposure to fandom and fandom etiquette and fic etiquette and that sort of thing when it comes to english circles. or at least its a pattern ive noticed, so my theory is that that occasionally that combines with toxic fans and then you get a few people complaining about the community and how bad our fics are on rezero ao3 ig lajdlfjsdlf. which is false by the way :<< and an annoying misuse of ao3 as a free creative archive :<<
but ultimately i hope the rezero character designer's alright (and honestly theyve done super super great work - like the anime Did Not need to give emilia a bajillion outfits and go above and beyond with improving liliana, capella, giving the suwens and their hometown a whole unique aesthetic, etc). and also while i have stuff to criticize with otsuka and tappei... and the toxic parts of the fandom hah... i still enjoy rezero apart from that and the uproar with the designs has not chipped away at me too much!! ive been in this fandom long enough i guess lmao i just roll with punches at this point T^T but i also just try to look on the bright side a lot in general so ;-;;;
these are the sorts of things i like to be aware about but i dont like to get myself super involved with it (since itll probably make it worse and/or make me stressed for no good reason lmfaoo) and i wont let it enjoy the parts of rezero that i do enjoy a lot (which is to say like. the other 98% of rezero hah). so. getting off twitter is the biggest godsend i promise lajdlsfj.
but anyway!! yeah i dont have much organized thoughts on all of this, this is just me rambling my feelings on it. hope this all makes sense anon <3
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ch3rr13zk1n · 10 months ago
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Alright its introduction time
Im CHERRIEZKIN! PHILIPINES RGAHHHHHHHHHH â€Œïžâ€Œïžâ€ŒïžđŸ—ŁđŸ—ŁđŸ—ŁđŸ”„đŸ”„đŸ”„
Why the fuck am i so currently fixated on regretevator
I like memes and things i enjoy, like art! Also if you catch me being an awful person PLEASE tell me.
I tend to also get sorta uncomfortable with people being confused by my stuff or someone seemingly not in the same fandoms as me liking my fandom content as it sorta makes my brain explode and PANIK!!! Not like you can't enjoy my stuff when you don't know shit about the stuff i like but it sorta makes me think some random person just came across my stuff out of nowhere
And i occasionally make weird jokes about fictional characters (sorry about that I'm possibly hypersexual.) but i don't wanna see NSFW TOO often so purely NSFW accounts.... don't even like a single post of mine at all plz :3 (unless you make NSFW of characters i like like..... Heheh. Not really but really)
Also I'm a minor!!!!!!! Never forget that! (Or do if you make Wallter ns- IM JOKING IM JOKINF I DON'T MEAN THAT)
Sorry about the suggestive and NSFW jokes i have no idea why but sometimes i just have the urge to say that publicly on the internet. Maybe that furry fetish game i found when i was nine really did fuck me up badly. Also i password locked cherrysimpingtime for the sanity of the Regretevator fans. D:
Anyways i got like.. 2763 interests like Solarballs, Shovelwares brain game, Captain underpants, The youtube shorts arg, Vocaloid (Ish), Undertale , SMG4, DHMIS, Alphabet lore, OMORI, Bugbo, The amazing digital circus, Pretty blood, Art, BFDI, Object shows in general, REGRETEVATOR, Tally hall (ish), Vs Bob and etc (The ones highlighted in green are the ones that are fixations as of the time of editing this and the ones in purple are dying/dead interests or got pushed aside by the others. The amount of purple is crazy)
though i post about some fandoms more than others but it doesn't mean i don't like/don't know any fandom on this list that isn't mainly being posted about here
its just that i draw Wallter from REGRETEVATOR pregnant instead of talking about how Rinny from Pretty Blood is a fucking bitch because my fixations are in a constant war
i also have a Tiktok and a mostly abandoned Youtube account (don't look at certain posts on my tiktok you'll go blind)
Also this account is mostly full of shitposts, Memes, Reblogs and doodles so good luck finding high quality art here!! I don't put my own tags a majority of the time and don't even tag some of my posts with the art tag since I'm insecure and stuff. I do create a bunch of dumb shit like Wood Noise~ Bark Bark Dog Mannequins so maybe you can check stuff like that out if you like my shitposts.
Also Wallter is my favorite character and my heart cannot be put on a leash so i have a crush(?) on that gayass (whoops)
Though the crush part is debatable as i still question if i really do feel romantic attraction.
I'm also a bit of a shipper and i ship SnowBoots, Glecctor, Wallmark, Walljim/Jimwall, SlimJim and etc. If you are uncomfy with any of the ships listed or literally want shippers to get the fuck off your page then block me or tell to to leave your page
Also sometimes i don't read people's pinned posts and generally just reblog because that's sorta like a secondary more useful like button to me (this has resulted in BAD consequences..)
i also had a bit of a tier list showing my opinions on the regret characters but that's kinda outdated and may not be fully reliable on my actual opinions on those characters however you should know that Wallter is.. According to my moots and other people... My comfort character, My favorite character and my "fictional crush" currently. He sorta means a bunch to me rn so don't potray them as an abuser or rapist.. Please. If you violate these boundaries then i may not hesitate to block you.
Actually.. Not just Wallter. ANY of my favorite characters.. Or maybe just any character in general unless its canon or smth and NOT romanticized. However i may not be able to tell which one is spreading awareness, a vent or just literal fetish/kink shit.
But i am more forgiving towards vents and spreading awareness now (don't ask why i dunno I'm sorry)
anyways that's all you need to know i guess! uhh have a weird image and stan Wallter on my page! (Not forcing dw)
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glevil x mannequin mark shippers dni.
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basics-academy-yum · 9 months ago
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Hey, I'm not sure if this account is active or not anymore, but if it is then I just wanna say that your art was really nice lol. Hope you're doing alright! :)
Aw gosh anon ur so sweet 😭
And... this seems important to answer since I did seemingly disappear off the face of the Earth, but... when I hyperfixate, I get really into something for... a certain amount of time, until it runs dry in my brain... (idk whats wrong with me plz dont ask) but I'm currently... like... not at all fixated on bbieal, so attempting to run this blog rn would be like trying to ride a bicycle without wheels. THAT BEING SAID.... if you guys are interested in me running a different ask blog for a different fandom... im currently really into undertale/deltarune (or as i like to call it, the tobyverse :) ) AND i have a really cool minecraft au id love to mess around with... if that seems cool to you guys, lmk and I'll see what I can do about starting up a new ask blog!!
Thank you guys for all the fun on this account, and who knows? This isn't the first time I've fixated on bbieal, so if Joes Bald's Bus decides to come hit me like a semitruck, ill letcha know ^_^❀
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c0ffee1 · 2 months ago
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Hold up one second, I don't know if you're really taking requests atm, but are there any actual rules or conditions that we should be aware of? Do they have to involve certain fandoms and such? And are crossovers also allowed?
oh i forgot to consider such things lmfao SOOO
Requests are open!! But i might do whatever i have the motivation for so dont be mad if im not doing ur request right away <33
Mainly I’d prefer them to be from, ofc, Gravity Falls, Eddsworld, Sally Face, South Park but u can try ur luck with other fandoms maybe ill do em :))
Crossovers and ships are finee (but no pro ships)
So yea!! Rn i’d love some gravity falls requests to feed my fixation xdd
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spinbitchzu · 1 year ago
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on character ai
being on tiktok rn is being crushingly disappointed by the sheer volume of locals who have discovered character ai and are using it to generate x reader fics. idk just as a person who has been around fandom spaces there are just soooo many people with a passion for writing x reader and while it’s not my cup of tea they are so, so talented and can do so much better than ai. I see people thrilled and excited to get the ai to show a steamy kiss when there are infinite authors who will write you getting railed by your fav six ways to Sunday if you just ASK. like I could search any fandom and find a million talented writers with requests open. ITS MOST USUALLY FREE TOO !!!
or like, if it’s the interaction aspect that’s appealing, there are so many role-play spaces or ask-blogs and it just drives me nuts to see people stepping into this new form of fandom that is ai driven — such as with what I've been seeing about people plugging unfinished fics into chat gpt to get endings. do they realize that they are not only receiving a far lower, far more derivative quality of work, but also selling out their favorite authors in the process? 
The path we are headed down right now is so scary to me. as a person who has been in the trenches of the most horrendous brain rot and obsession over certain medias, I still wish I could shake these people by the shoulders and tell them that long after a tv show stops being important to you, it’s the people that you meet through shared interest in it that will remain. its a far more sustainable and meaningful kind of connection and fandom is a hub for it. I have met so many of the best friends I've ever had through being obsessed with a book and NEEDING to write with other people about it. contrast that with seeking your writing fixation through character ai. That is a closed circuit. you and the computer, nothing else. im begging ppl to postpone instant gratification for one second and remember whats actually important about fandom. 
stop feeding ais and instead commission artists, reblog their headcanons, comment on fics, submit to ask blogs, join rp servers, request from writers — ANYTHING anything. it will be so much more fulfilling and benefits the creative ecosystem so much more. 
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youareunbearable · 4 years ago
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Catch me not having a clue who any of these gods(?) and people are, but still sitting here like, "I ship that pretty one with the gruff one, and that brown haired one with the other(?) gruff one?" without knowing names or what this is except the fanart I see you reblog, because this fandom apparently has lots of nice art
Fam i have no idea what ur talking about or when u sent this im so sorry asfkjhfkjhf but i thiiiinnnkkkk??????? it’s “Heavens Official Blessing” or  Tiān Guān CĂŹ FĂș (TGCF for tagging stuff) its originally a chinese gay novel that is soooooooo long by the author  Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) who wrote 2 (two?????) other novels that I know of that are also gay historical fantasy but i personally havent actually read TGCF???? im just watching the anime and looking at the wiki and reading fanfics so i have a vague idea whats going on but not really???? so i cant really give a good review BUT i LOVE THE CHARACTERS MXTX WRITES SO MUCH AFHAFKFHKFAKF IM SO SORRY IM SHIT WITH TAGGING SO U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM HYPER FIXATING ON BUT
LISTEN
LISTEN 
LISTEN
Pretty one and the gruff one im THINKING is He Xuan (or Ming Yi/ Ming-Xiong/Ming Bro) for the grumpy one and Shi Qingxuan for the pretty one and both are kinda gender fluid?? (more Shi Qingxuan but they both change their forms to be both women and men which is Iconic and the anime put her in the TRANS FLAG COLOUR instead of her canon white and green which is ICONIC) AND THHEYRE SO TRAGIC AND HOT AND I CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT THEIR STORY LIKE AFHDFKJAFDSGS like i want to kinda read the book just for them, the two super minor characters, but i also read somewhere that their story doesn’t really have a clean ending so im also holding back from just getting Emotionally Hurt because im a cancer and i know it’ll wreck me
I think The Two Gruff Idiots are Feng Xin (dark haired gruff boy) and Mu Qing (brown haired gruff boy) and theyre both martial gods and both knew each other for over 800 years and both tried to take care of Actual Human And Heavenly Disaster Xie Lian, failed, and tried to do it again 800 years later but with stupid glasses with moustaches in hopes that Xie Lian cant figure out that they care about him but OOPS Xie Lian does in fact have the braincell of the three of them fajfafjajf 
Heres the link to watch the anime, there are 11 eps rn but it updates every weekend (I dont actually know when but i watch it on sundays) Make sure u have ur ad block on tho lol there is a manga too and the art style is TO DIE FOR like its GORGEOUS but its roughly at the same pace as the anime so eh
Heres where to read the whole thing online, just a warning its BIG AS FUCK like 244? plus extras I think?? 
I’d also recommend MXTX’s other books!
Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/ The Untamed/MDZS) is both a Book as well as an Anime (the whole thing is on youtube) , a Live Action which you can watch on Netflix (look up Untamed, also a warning, the plot is a little different from the book and anime cause of uhhh censorship?? also i guess to make it more live drama friendly, my friends an i binged it and really liked it, but some of the fandom doesn’t), a manga which is not finished I think???? idk im not caught up, and a fucking chinese AUDIO DRAMA LIKE BITCH ITS SO WELL DONE but i have to stop listening sometimes cause like there is a difference between watching/reading characters kiss, and then like just hearing them, i get so embarrassed i have to skip the kissing scenes and god forbid i accidentally click on the smutty extras alfjajlfjalfjaljf u can find it on youtube, i linked the one i listen to but i havent finished it and i don’t think it’s all of it, but you can find other episodes/chapters easily
Its about 1 Dumb Yet So Smart gay/bi man (Wei Wuxian) who honestly tries his fucking best, fucks up everything, dies for over a decade, and then is forcefully brought back to life to solve a murder mystery with the guy who has been in Super Gay Love with him since they were teens (Lan Zhan), a bunch of teens Who Are Just Honestly Here For A Good Time And Yet (Lan Juniors, Jin Ling, and Best Boy Ouyang Zizhen ) while badly hiding his real identity from all the people he knows, including his foster brother (Jiang Cheng) who is out for blood and hunting his ass down with a whip and also Lan Zhan who is travelling with him. Also the Killer. There is a killer on the loose and is willing to murder whoever to keep their secrets. Also Nie Huaisang. I adore him and his brother Nie Mingjue, if there is one bitch u gotta remember from this summary it’s this little twink (he and his brother also have a fucking spin off movie from the live action drama THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A ENGLISH SUB VERSION AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW LAST YEAR. GOOGLE GIVE ME MY FAVOURITE TWINK AND HIS BEAR OF A BROTHER HAVING A FUN FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!)
My Personal Current Favourite is Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (SVSSS) which is SOOOOOOO FUNNY Like it’s not as popular cause the comic was discontinued, and the anime looks like its from 2005 with the weird 3D animation but its my current comfort media!!! 
Its basically about a spite reading millennial (Shen Yuan) who died after reading a REALLY awful popular cheesy smut harem novel (think like 50 shade series but worse cause the protag had 600 wives) and was forced into the body of a minor but important villain (the protagonist’s teacher, Shen Qingqiu) from the novel who was fated to die with all his limbs cut off and his eyes and tongue plucked out and is told he has to fix the story so its not trash, he reasonably freaks the fuck out and hugs the protagonists (Luo Binghe) thigh so hard he turns him gay without realizing. Sadly, he does have to make sure certain plot points happen, which fucks him over a lot,  and he thinks Luo Binghe still wants to kill him instead of love him cause he has the Emotional Intelligence of a Rock, but its so funny reading about him handling all the awful tropey stuff, like imagine u have to be a character in My Immortal But With Porn?????? without breaking out of character too much?? I wouldn’t be able to handle it ajhakfkfhjfj He also finds out that he’s not the only transmigrator in the novel either, but it doesn’t matter cause theyre both So Fucking Stupid Collectively but everyone would honestly die for the both of them
warning for this story though, the main relationship is a teacher/student relationship, but nothing happens until the student is in his 20s and also kinda not his student anymore cause he’s running hell??? but if that squicks u out i totally understand and offer you to PLEASE still enjoy some of this media, and instead of the BingQiu ship, I offer you the LiuQiu one, where both me and the main character cry over how a beautiful man/fellow immortal lord loves the main character so much that he literally fought every day for 5 years to be by his side and I Think Thats Beautiful and I kinda like this ship more than the main one tbh PLEASE just look at the art for Liu Qingge because i love him so much, he’s like if you took Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng from MDZS and mashed them into one beautiful man the author is trying to tell me is straight but u take one look at him And Tell Me Otherwise
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lessrthanthree · 4 years ago
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SORRY got distracted on sending a followup ask, but ye! So my current hyperfixiation is final fantasy 7 rn, and the series of ff7 is a compilation! It goes Before Crisis -> Crisis Core -> FF7 -> Advent Children -> Dirge of Cerberus. These are just the games (except advent children, thats a movie but we'll get to that), theres also a 20 minute animation called The Last Order, and theres two novels called The Kids Are Alright and On The Way To a Smile. The thing is, it is often debated if Before Crisis is canon- it was only released in japan on mobile, and in 2004 at that. It contradicts with the continuity of Crisis Core, which is more canon, arguably, since it lines up more with FF7 itself. And i hate admitting that its hard to see as canon, because Before Crisis has alot of my favorite characters (which happen to be extremely obscure bc theyre from before crisis). But, recently, square enix announced a new mobile game: Ever Crisis. It is a chapter based game with new chapters every month, and it covers the *entirety of the ff7 compilation*. And yes, they included Before Crisis in that announcement. It makes me extremely happy to see square enix acknowledge Before Crisis because they havent really. Acknowledged its existence in years. And as a major fan of alot of the characters but not with the story, i am extremely extremely excited for Ever Crisis! Another interesting thing is that theyre including Advent Children in Ever Crisis, which is a movie. I wonder how theyre gonna translate a movie to a game...but, im sure itll be great anyway! Thanks for listening, and i migjt send more asks if you dont mind? The ff7 story is EXTREMELY long, complicated and fucked up, so id rather stick to a certain character if you wanna know more about one! Just say the word! But yea, ty!!
Yoo that's fine! I fell asleep and then had classes to go to, so sorry this is late too jfjdkdk
Yeah I've heard abt that game series! Ive never played one myself tho, but it's v popular 👀 at least I'm pretty sure nfdnnx, I'm at least 80% sure there's a character(s?) in smash
I had no idea the lore was that intertwined tho, books and a movie and short films, that's v cool- lots of games too apparently 👀 more content the better ig! Esp when it comes to fixating on them
Hopefully with the new game coming out, it can peobably clarify or build upon (or debunk) occurances in the debatedly non-canon game. That'd be good for the fandom!
Wish you luck with all that, hope it turns out well 👀 I may look into the series over the summer if I have free time to play a bunch of games again!
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kittenwritesstuff · 7 years ago
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Drunk in love
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Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Rumplestiltskin/ Mr. Gold x reader Genres: mention of alcohol, awkwardness, mild fluff Words: 1.505 Summary: Reader has a one too many drinks which gives her courage to confess her feelings for Gold. Next morning, she has to face the shame - requested by Anonymous
“Don’t do iiit, honey,” Ruby warns, her voice a bit slurred. You’ve been having a girls’ night, you and Emma deciding that after a week of various unexpected events you should finally relax and you definitely earned a drink. Or two.
So, you invited Mary Margaret and Ruby to a club and the four of you are now more or less drunk. And, given that alcohol usually makes it easier to open up, Ruby asked a question about your current love interests.
Mary Margaret only blushed and said she wasn’t interested in anyone in particular. She wasn’t a very good liar but neither of you wanted to embarrass her so you kept your mouths shut.
Ruby confessed that men were more and more boring to her, although she wouldn’t mind hooking up with that cutie sitting by the bar. He was, indeed, good-looking.
Emma mumbled that she had enough of men for the rest of her life and that Henry was her priority at the moment. You’ve never been prouder.
And you
 well, tequila definitely went to your head and so, without thinking twice, you told the girl the name of your crush, instantly silencing them all.
After all, nobody would guess that you were head over heels in love with none other than Mister Gold. You can’t tell what precisely made him so irresistible and wanted by you. Maybe it’s his confidence, so close to arrogance? Maybe the way he speaks, that accent of his and smirk, ever present on his face?  
Age difference? Please, those trivial things never bothered you. The cane? You don’t give a damn about it. He makes your knees weak, a shiver to run down your spine and a tiny jolt of nervousness to course through you. Never before has a man succeeded in making you both intimidated and drawn to him.
Yet your shyness prevented you from showing your affection in any way. You couldn’t build up courage to even suggest that you liked him, not to mention straight up asking him out.
But now? you felt bolder than ever! Damn, you swear you can move mountains, what’s scary in texting your crush? What can possibly go wrong?
“Bullshit, Imma do it. Just one text, let me see if he’ll text me back, right?”
“Alright, but only one text,” Emma points a finger at you in what’s supposed to be threatening manner but it ends up utterly funny when she accidently bumps your nose. You giggle, taking your phone out of your jacket’s pocket.
“Here comes big nothin’”
You unlock your cell, ignoring missed calls. They’re not important now – you’re a girl on a mission, one that demands your full focus and all the creativity you can muster after having one too many drinks tonight.
You open a new message thread, choose Gold’s number and bite down at your bottom lip, trying to come up with something, anything.
“Text him something along ‘hey, I’m having a drink, wanna join?’” Ruby suggests but Mary Margaret shakes her head.
“No, that’s too straightforward. Just start with ‘hi, how are you?’”
You roll your eyes at her and start typing.
Gold, are you busy? Have a minute to spare to talk to me?
Emma hums in approval, glancing at your phone from over your shoulder.
“That’s a good one. And no typos, very good.”
“Let’s drink to that!” you call, raising your glass and girls cheer loudly, all of you downing another shot of tequila. You grimace slightly, reaching for your phone, a bit disappointed that there’s no reply yet.
“Chill, girl. C’mon, drink up,” Ruby urges with a wide grin and you smile back as she fills your glass. Gosh, you really needed it.
Ten minutes later, as Emma’s venting about Regina and her bossing around, refusing to see Henry and overall, how hard it is to be a sheriff, you check your phone. There’s still no text from Gold, so you decide to send another one.
Blinking to focus your gaze on the screen and the keyboard, you let your thumbs click on the letters.
Ive something 2 tell yuo. Gold, mssg m bakc.
After another shot of tequila you’re not 100% certain whether you sent him more texts or was it just your imagination.
_____
“Oh, poor thing,” Granny says with a hint of amusement in her voice as you step into the diner, your pale face and pained expression telling enough about how much fun you had the previous night.
“Can I get a coffee, please? Like, a lot of it?”  you ask meekly as you slide into a booth, resting your head in your hands. Thank heavens that Emma called a day off today and that Sundays are usually very lazy. You don’t even want to imagine what a efficient cop you’d make today.
“Coffee, scrambled eggs and bacon.”
A plate is put in front of you, after it a large cup with steaming black liquid joins the party and a feeling of gratefulness rushes through you.
“Granny, you’re an angel,” you say fondly and she flashes you a soft smile before returning after the counter.
You take the cup in your hands and blow off the steam few times before taking a careful sip. You sigh with content, feeling much better and frown when your phone vibrates, notifying you about new message. You take it out of your pocket and, much to your horror, there’s a message from Gold.
“Shit,” you murmur, your eyes growing wide and your skin becoming almost white as you look through the text you sent him the previous night. And there was definitely more that those two you remember.
10:39pm - Why r u not massagin me backc, Gold? Am waitin.
10:53pm - Emma says im a fool but im only a fool for u.
10:53pm - Shit
10:55pm - I didnt mean t tell it. listen can we meeeet? I can explain/
11:12pm - Okaay, u dont wanna talk, I get it. but I need u to kno that ive a crush on u.
11:37pm - Gold, pls, say somethn.
11:41pm – dammit. key, forget it.
1:58am – goodnight, Gold.
9:14am – Did you get home safe, Y/N?
You stare at the screen as if the evidence of your shameful behavior can magically wipe itself from your phone, Gold’s phone, yours and his memory and, overly, the history of the world, but it remains there, unchanged.
You heave out a sigh, take another sip of the coffee and with pounding heart you type a response.
Yes.
Are you still in a mood to talk?
Honestly, I want the Earth to swallow me rn.
That would be an unspeakable loss, dearie :)
“The hell?” you murmur, not really understanding what he meant. Is he mocking you? Having fun with you? You can easily visualize him with a smirk on his face as he toys with you, putting you in more and more misery.
But then again
 he doesn’t seem to be a man who’d play with other’s feelings.
Y/N, would you mind if I joined you for a breakfast?
Your heart skyrockets as a cold shiver runs down your spine. You’re both excited and terrified but the mixture somehow makes you bolder and so you reply.
Sure, but I look like crap. Feel warned.
I’ll be there in a moment.
You barely put your phone away when the door opens, the bell rings and you will yourself from running in that instant. You lower your head and squeeze your eyes shut, when a figure takes a seat opposite you.
“You lied,” he remarks, his tone hinted with humor and you jerk your head up to look at him.
“What?”
“You don’t look like crap. Quite the opposite, to be honest.”
“Damn, you’re blind? I have the worst hangover ever and I feel like dying, but that’s really nice of you, mister Gold.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Also, about those messages-“
You groan silently, hiding your face in your hands, too ashamed to even glimpse at him. You hear him sigh but he continues.
“- I’m not going to forget it, as you suggested. I’m fluttered that a girl like you harbored a crush on somebody like me but-“
“No, don’t finish it,” you whine and Gold chuckles, noting that you look absolutely adorable when embarrassed. He gently reaches for one of your hands and reveals half of your face.
“Y/N, I just want to ask if you stand by what you texted last night? You’re sober and we can act as if nothing happened, if what you said was untrue.”
“It was, errr
. It was true,” you say quietly, feeling your cheeks warm up with a blush and, much to your relief, Gold smiles brightly, his eyes wrinkling a little.
“Well then
 would you do me an honor and go for a dinner with me tomorrow?”
A grin makes its way onto your lips as you fold your hands on your lap, fixating your eyes on Gold.
“Gladly.”
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