#in Hollywood is making 24 year olds look 50

[flergblerg]

When I think about how so many 20-somethings are getting buccal fat removal these days, I just KNOW that one day it’s gonna switch on a dime and suddenly chubby cheeks and baby faces will come back like THAT by some TikTok influencer but they will rename it “chipmunk cherub” or something

[nerendus]

Okay, under the button since it's like almost two hundred movies, but I want to start making some progress on watching these films, but despite it being two hundred, my brain says that it is still a small list, so I am once again looking for more movie recs. 🙇

1. Requiem for a Dream

2. Pacific Rim

3. War Games

4. Sharp Objects (2018) dir. Jean-Marc Vallée

5. Les soeurs Brontë (1979)  

6. Crimes of the Future

7. Videodrome

8. Jackass

9. Novitiate (2017)

10. The Sons of Katie Elder

11. El Dorado

12. Raw Deal

13. The Running Man (arnold)

14. The Mist

15. Black Mountain Side

16. In The Mouth of Madness

17. The Fifth Element

18. The Many Saints of Newark (will watch show first)

19. James Bond series

20. Resident Evil (seven thousandth watch)

21. The Boy and the Heron

22. Moulin Rouge

23. Bill and Ted (second watch)

24. The Day The Earth Stood Still

25. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 

26. Jurassic Park (second watch)

27. Robocop

28. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

29. The Boondock Saints

30. Legally Blonde (second watch)

31. The Fog (second watch)

32. Llamageddon 

33. Hellraiser

34. Candyman

35. Shaun of The Dead (second watch)

36. Scarface

37. The Shawshank Redemption

38. Ghost in The Shell

39. No Country for Old Men

40. Kill Bill series

41. The Wolf of Wall Street

42. Watchmen

43. Lone Wolf and Cub series

44. Last Night in Soho

45. Throne of Blood

46. Fargo

47. Hereditary

48. David Lynch:: The Art Life

49. Wayne's World series

50. I Am Legend (second watch)

51. Grease 

52. Good Will Hunting

53. The VVitch

54. Leatherface

55. Fantastic Planet

56. Blue Velvet

57. Pulp Fiction (second watch)

58. Twister (second watch)

59. Donnie Darko (second watch)

60. Tales from Earthsea

61. The Secret World of Arrietty

62. Late Spring (1949)

63. From Up on Poppy Hill

64. Rashomon

65. Intermezzo

66. Casablanca

67. When Marnie Was There

68. The Wind Rises

69. The Tale of Princess Kaguya

70. I Married a Witch

71. David Bowie: The Last Five Years

72. Vampyr

73. Kill Boksoon

74. Glass Onion series

75. The Wonder (2022)

76. Hook (1991) (second watch)

77. Time Trap

78. The Yin Yang Master

79. Hold The Dark

80. All Quiet on the Western Front

81. The Cloverfield Paradox

82. Reservoir Dogs

83. Spider-man (2002)

84. The Karate Kid series

85. Unknown Cosmic Time Machine

86. The Good Nurse (2022)

87. What Did Jack Do?

88. Banyuki

89. Amina (2021)

90. The Colony (2021)

91. Cities of Last Things

92. The Metamorphosis of Birds

93. The Mirror (andrei)

94. Andrei Rublev

95. Nostalgia (andrei)

96. The Sacrifice (andrei)

97. Ivan's Childhood (andrei)

98. The Steamroller and Violin (andrei)

99. Sunset Blvd (1950)

100. Ikiru (1952)

101. Seven Samurai (1954)

102. Citizen Kane

103. Dr. Strangelove

104. La La Land (2016)

105. Noriko's Dinner Table

106. The Godfather

107. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

108. The Good The Bad The Ugly

109. Mad Max Fury Road

110. Goodfellas

111. Indiana Jones series

112. Fight Club

113. Galaxy Quest

114. Dunkirk

115. Groundhog Day

116. Star Trek movies

117. Full Metal Jacket

118. Pink Floyd: The Wall

119. Naked Lunch

120. The Iron Giant

121. Chinatown (1974)

122. Minority Report

123. Velvet Goldmine

124. Dogma

125. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newma

126. The Prestige

127. Annie Hall

128. Taxi Driver

129. Dead Poets Society

130. The Matrix

131. The Green Mile

132. Django Unchained

133. Your Name

134. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

135. Inland Empire

136. The Elephant Man

137. Lost Highway

138. Woman in the Dunes

139. Meshes of an Afternoon

140. Tokyo  Decadence 

141. Limbo (1999)

142. Maps to the Stars

143. The Machinist

144. Under the Silver Lake

145. The Northman

146. Kingdom of Heaven

147. The Grand Budapest Hotel

148. The Revenant (alejandro)

149. A Clockwork Orange

150. Incendies

151. Apocalypse Now

152. Knight of Cups

153. Once Upon a Time in America

154. Valhalla Rising

155. Inception

156. Interview with a Vampire

157. But I'm a Cheerleader

158. Angels in America

159. Pan's Labyrinth 

160. Clue

161. Asteroid City

162. Anastasia

163. Jo jo rabbit

164. Fantastic Mr. Fox

165. Rambo

166. Mission Impossible 

167. Suspiria

168. Jarhead

169. Macbeth

170. Mishima: A Life In Four Chapters 

171. Visions of Ecstasy

172. The Handmaiden (2016)

173. The Fly (cronenberg)

174. Dead Ringers

175. Tenet

176. Sicario

177. Vanishing on 7th Street

178. Invasion of the Body Snatchers

179. Gladiator

180. Once Upon a Time in the West

181. Children of the Corn

182. The Revenant 2016

183. Transformers series

184. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

185. Gaslight (1944)

186. The Road

187. Vesper

188. The Hills Have Eyes

189. Tentacles

190. Die Hard series 

191. Freddy Got Fingered

192. The Day After Tomorrow 

193. The Song of the Scarlet Flower (Teuvo Tulio, 1938)

194. Jane Eyre

195. Northanger Abbey (2007) 

196. Lady Chatterley`s Lover (2015)

197. LA COLLECTIONNEUSE (1967) dir. Éric Rohmer

198. The Lion In Winter

[asmoonlightthroughthepines]

8 Shows To Know Me

Thank you @maplefiasco for tagging me *months* ago 🙈 Do check her post for excellent shows recommendations!

If you see this post on your dash, please consider yourself (no-pressure) tagged, whether we’re in a follower, mutual or complete strangers situation :)

Coming up with "shows to know me" was more challenging that I thought? In the end I chose shows I have often rewatched and that never fail to cheer me up. In no particular order:

Remington Steele

This show is a delight and a half. For years growing up it was on channel 3 in France every summer, and every rewatch makes me feel like the happiest teenager. Expect RayBans and vintage cars, because this is 80s LA with an Old Hollywood, Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn inspiration. Unfortunately it's become impossible to find in Europe/France, and my entire family laments this fact on a monthly basis.

The Newsroom

If you get one thing out of this post, it’s to give The Newsroom a try. Not everyone loves Sorkin, in fact several of my friends hate this show, but I LOVE it. It’s chaotic. It’s fast. It’s idealistic. Everyone is a genius at their job and an idiot in their personal life. And the cast! Emily Mortimer, Jeff Daniels and Sam Waterston are superb! Olivia Munn and Thomas Sadoski are spectacular! Dev Patel and David Harbour are delightful! And the supporting cast - Jane Fonda! Chris Messina! Terry Crews! BJ Novak! Only this show would make me use so many adjectives and exclamation marks.

Hart of Dixie

This is my guilty pleasure, “won’t tell people about it because they’ll think I’m a basic bitch" show. It’s super cozy, the clothes are great, the dudes are hot, there’s a pet alligator called Burt Reynolds, the folksy-country soundtrack is fun, everyone is nice and walks around the WBros PLL and Gilmore Girls lot fake southern town with a pastry and home-baked pie in hand, and nothing really bad ever happens. Truly the happiest of basic bitch shows.

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

I ignored Mrs Maisel for years because I’m not a big stand up or 50s style person, but it turned out to be one of the shows that’s made me laugh the most in the history of shows. It’s funny, it’s warm and it does more for Jewish humour than most pieces of media (The Nanny is the exception) since Annie Hall’s Easter lunch scene. I didn’t care much for s4 (style really took over content for me) and s5 is.. well I just don’t know how they explain a lot of those choices there. But man, s1-2 is something I would (and will) happily rewatch on a regular basis.

Friends It’s not original, it's "90s diverse" but sue me. I’m old enough to have watched it with my siblings when it first came out (VHS, baby!) and it’ll never not feel cozy and fun. I won’t catch it on tv because ad breaks will reduce it to unfunny, memeable catchphrases, but every few years I’ll pop a couple of seasons in the dvd player (DVDs, baby!) and it’ll still make me laugh like it’s my first time watching it.

Arrested Development

Do I need to explain? Yes s4 was half good/half bad when it was released (and somehow made mostly bad when it was re-edited) and I pretend s5 doesn’t exist. But seasons 1-3 are the definition of perfect tv! And in case you didn’t know, Jason Bateman and Will Arnett host a podcast (along with Sean Hayes of Will and Grace) called Smartless; the episode with Tony Hale (Buster) as the guest had me in literal tears.

Chuck

There’s a scene where Chuck’s best friend Morgan says that he’s spent years devising a work system that allows him to do as little as possible at his job, and he’s not about to ruin that by accepting a promotion. My entire family quotes this on a regular basis. I have watched s1-3 at least half a dozen times and just typing that makes me want to watch it again. Love the music, the ridiculous spy adventures and the unhinged background characters. Also Chuck looks exactly like one of my high school best friends which makes it even funnier.

24

LOOK. I did not expect this show to take over my life the way it did, and tbh I don’t really have an 8th show that hits both “will rewatch this many times” and “makes me feel warm and happy”. So I went for the one that currently has 12 drafts sitting in my fic folder. It’s violent and ridiculous and is equally funny (see ridiculous) and angsty. It got me through the 2nd lockdown, on the edge of my seat while live texting all nearly ten seasons of it to friends. But watch s1-4 and tell me you’re normal about Tony x Michelle. I dare you.

[ab4eva]

I posted 412 times in 2022

That's 412 more posts than 2021!

89 posts created (22%)

323 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@troubleinapinksuit

@karamelcoveredolicity

@burninlovebutler

@aconflagrationofmyown

@jelliedonut

I tagged 334 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#austin butler - 103 posts

#ruined wrecked totally fucked - 60 posts

#elvis presley - 50 posts

#elvis - 38 posts

#austin butler elvis - 28 posts

#i’m coming for you elvis - 24 posts

#elvis 2022 - 23 posts

#elvis what are doing to me - 20 posts

#austin butler fantasy - 19 posts

#written by ab4eva - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 87 characters

#is this like a lyrics swap?! what makes us think of austin?! i could go on forever baby

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

‘You Look So Good In Love’

(Austin Butler One-Shot)

Summary: Austin Butler x reader. Austin see his ex at a pre-Oscar party and realizes he never should have let her go, but it may already be too late.

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, regret, mild language, mild sexual innuendo but no actual smut, soft!austin

-

Austin Butler took a deep breath as the elevator carrying him to the top floor of Soho House West Hollywood whooshed to a stop. He gave himself a once-over glance in the mirrored elevator doors, carefully fixing a curl that had fallen out of place, before the doors sprang open and the noise of the pre-Oscar party overwhelmed all other senses.

As soon as he was out of the elevator, a hand clapped him on the back in greeting - his agent, James. Austin smiled and hugged the man warmly.

“Man, am I glad to see you,” Austin said. “You know how I feel about these things.”

James smiled and patted Austin on the back.

“I get it, I know they’re not your favorite. But just a few more days and you can take a well-deserved break. I saw Baz and CM upstairs, back right corner. They’re waiting for you.”

Austin thanked him and made his way up the stairs…slowly. Every few feet someone else stopped him to chat and congratulate him on his Oscar nomination and to wish him luck. By the time he made it to Baz and Catherine’s table he was exhausted.

“My boy!” crowed Tom Hanks as Austin finally reached the group, enveloping him in a bear hug. Austin gratefully plopped down in the chair they had saved for him and shrugged off his suit jacket.

“Damn, that was like a battlefield trying to make it over here to y’all,” he said and let out the breath he had been holding ever since he stepped out of the elevator. The group chuckled and Baz reached over to squeeze Austin’s shoulder.

“Someone get Mr. Presley a drink!” Baz practically shouted, as someone else in the group waved down a waiter. In no time, Austin was sipping an old fashioned and finally starting to relax a little, the alcohol pleasantly buzzing through his blood and into his head.

He was deep in conversation with Catherine when movement beside the bar caught his eye. The woman had her back to him, but he’d know the shape of her anywhere. Golden light brown tresses flowed down her back, her emerald green dress hugging every curve. Austin’s heart sped up. He hadn’t seen her in more than three years but he’d thought about her almost every day since then. He’d been a fool to let her go.

She turned her head and he could see her smiling up at someone, cheeks flushed from more than the wine, laughing at a joke he couldn't hear. Austin shifted his focus and was surprised to see that she was in fact standing with a tall, good-looking man, his arm protectively around her waist, as she leaned into him and laughed again. Damn she looked happy. He could see the stars in her eyes from where he sat and an agonizing pain shot through him.

“Austin? Earth to Aust…,” Catherine said, and Austin’s attention snapped back to her.

“Sorry, CM…sorry. I…I see someone I need to say hello to, would you excuse me for a moment?” Austin said, as he stood up and started making his way to the bar.

He approached slowly, drinking in the sight of her, unable to stop the rush of memories that came flooding back, unbidden.

A road trip from California to Arizona to spend time with his grandparents, her in the passenger seat, feet up, singing along to James Taylor. One hand on the steering wheel, he had reached for her, entwining his long fingers with hers, gently rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. He smiled over at her, his Ray-Bans and wind blown hair making him look more like James Dean than himself.

Early morning sunlight pouring through the curtains and across their bed as she writhed beneath him, her breath hitching in her chest, her green eyes holding his gaze and piercing his heart. Her pink mouth open in ecstasy and the little whimpers that escaped and drove him over the edge.

The last time he had seen her, cheeks stained with tears. He had broken things off, not unkindly, but he thought it had been for the best. For him. She had listened without speaking, tears falling silently. And then she had given him a look - like she was devastated and disappointed and not surprised, all at once. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something but bit her lip instead and shook her head, turned and walked away. Without a word.

That was the part that had always haunted him. After so much time together, their lives blending into each other like the weave of a fabric, she had listened while he broke her heart and then never said another word to him. Not even an angry word, not a “fuck you” or an “I hate you” which honestly would have been better than her deafening silence.

Which is why Austin’s heart now felt like it might beat out of his chest. He wasn’t sure how she would respond but he had to talk to her.

“Y/N?” he said tentatively, reaching out to touch her arm but thought better of it, pulling his hand back as she turned at the sound of her name.

“Austin!” she gasped, face breaking into a grin and before he knew it, she was pulling him into her arms, hugging him like a long lost friend. She still smelled the same, like vanilla and spice.

“Oh my goodness, Austin. I’m….I’m so proud of you. You…were incredible in Elvis and I tell everyone that will listen that I knew you when. Don’t I, babe?” She turns to the tall man, and he’s smiling and nodding his head.

“Wow…really?” Austin is dumbfounded, this is not what he was expecting.

She’s nodding her head, her face smiling up at him with pride, her hand squeezing his arm affectionately.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I haven’t introduced the two of you!” She wrapped her arm around the man’s waist beside her, putting a hand on his chest, “Babe, this is Austin, who I’ve told you about. And Austin, this is my fiancé, Gabe.”

See the full post

298 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#4

‘Such A Tease’

Summary: Austin and reader exchange sexually charged repartee at a Hollywood party.

Warnings: Smut adjacent, language, innuendo

Author’s note: Guys, honestly I was not planning on writing anything smut-related, but as with all things Austin, inspiration struck. It’s short and spicy and I hope you enjoy!

-

Austin’s gaze meets yours across the crowded room. He’s deep in conversation with a director, but in a room full of Hollywood bigwigs and actors, he can’t keep his eyes off you. His ocean eyes squint slightly at you, in acknowledgment. It lights a fire inside of you, your stomach flip-flopping wildly.

You send him a wink before turning back to the actress you’ve been talking to, taking a sip of your drink. It’s almost empty so you excuse yourself and head to the bar to grab another one.

As you wait for your drink, you turn around, leaning back against the bar, to survey the room. Suddenly, Austin is standing in front of you, so close that there’s barely any space between your bodies.

He smiles and leans into you, resting one arm against the bar, trapping you. He brings his other hand up covertly, between your bodies, and runs the back of a finger up your breast and over your nipple, through your dress. You gasp and it instantly hardens, your eyes going wide as you look at Austin, your mouth still hanging open in shock. You close it and playfully whisper, “Fuck you.” There’s heat behind it.

“Later,” he says, cocking an eyebrow at you, one side of his mouth lifting into an arrogant smirk. He looks down and sees your hardened nipple poking through the thin material of your dress.

“You make me so hard, baby,” he murmurs, as he turns more into you and discreetly adjusts himself.

Now it’s your turn to smirk. You reach your arm around Austin’s waist, through his open jacket and down over his ass, grabbing a handful. You pull him close, feeling just how hard he is. He sucks in a breath at the contact and his chest expands, drawing your eyes to his open collar and the smattering of chest hair that drives you wild. His jaw clenches and you place a quick kiss there before abruptly letting him go, escaping his grasp and turning to pick up your drink.

You sneak a backwards glance as you walk away. He’s still there, in the same position, one arm leaning against the bar, his head turned to look at you. His cheeks are slightly flushed and the heat in his eyes as they bore into you sends a shiver down your spine. You know you’re in for it when you get home.

327 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#3

‘First Kiss’

Summary: Austin Butler blurb, pure tooth-rotting fluff.

Warnings: None

Author’s note: This was the first fic I ever wrote but it’s been sitting in my drafts for a few months. Fly away, my beautiful bird.

-

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Austin said, voice low and deep, as he slowly drew closer to you.

Your eyes snapped up from where they had been focused on his lips to meet his gaze.

“Austin,” you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes searching his.

His mouth lifted in a half-smile as he leaned in closer. You closed your eyes, taking a ragged breath, your heart beating a quick thrum in your chest. So fast, so loud. Surely Austin could hear it?

His hands fluttered on either side of your face before he settled them gently, thumbs padding your cheeks, and softly, so softly, pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Beautiful girl,” he whispered.

He slowly tilted your head to the right and kissed your cheek.

“Sweet girl,” he breathed.

He tilted your head to the left and kissed your other cheek.

“Lovely girl,” he murmured.

Then his lips hovered above yours and he paused. You thought the anticipation might kill you. Just as you opened your eyes to see what the wait was about his perfect lips curved into a smirk. He moved a hand from the side of your face and brushed his thumb across your lips. His touch was electric, your heart skipped a beat. Slowly he lowered his lips onto yours, perfectly aligned, like puzzle pieces from the clay.

He kissed you softly at first, barely grazing your mouth and then harder, his lips crushing yours with a hunger he couldn’t mask any longer, his tongue suckling at your bottom lip.

Your heart was pounding so fast you thought it might beat out of your chest. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but kiss him back. A tear slipped down your cheek and onto Austin’s hand. He startled and pulled away.

“You ok, baby?” he asked, his eyes full of concern, as he wiped the tear away with his thumb.

You nodded your head, afraid to speak, afraid that all the love you felt for him would spill out of you - in tears, in words, in touch.

He smiled then, and leaned his forehead into yours, stroking your face, before pulling you to his chest and settling you there protectively, his hand rubbing small circles on your back. You sighed contentedly, your hand on his heart, knowing he was yours.

373 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#2

Prompt “Safe word” can I get an AustinX reader where Austin gets a little to dom and the reader has to use the safe word.

‘Peach’

Warnings: 18+ only! spanking, oral (m. receiving), dom/sub dynamics, safe word, aftercare, established relationship.

a/n: Thank you for the request, dear anon (my first)! I haven’t written this dynamic before so I hope it’s what you were looking for and you enjoy!

-

After Austin has made you kneel, naked and unmoving, on the cold tile of the bathroom floor while he showers and shaves and dries his hair. And after he has handcuffed and blindfolded you, knees aching and still pressed to the unforgiving tile, and rammed his cock down your throat, again and again, until the blindfold is soaked with tears.

After he has bitten and bruised your entire body with his mouth. And after he has braced you over his knees, ass in the air, his left arm holding you firmly to his thighs, your face pressed into the pillow that is muffling your cries.

You feel him raise his right hand and you brace for another smack, your behind already red and stinging, surely stamped with Austin’s handprint. You grip the soft pillow harder as his palm makes unflinching contact and you wail from the impact, unable to stop yourself from bucking up, kicking your legs.

“Be good for me, baby, and it will be over faster,” Austin rasps in your ear, his voice shaking slightly with restraint. “This is what you get when you’re so sexy for me.”

You’re shaking, trying to hold on for the last couple of spankings. Austin doesn’t get in these moods very often but when he does, you want to give him everything he asks for. You would give him the world if you could. You squeeze your eyes shut, thighs tensing, biting down on the pillow, knowing any second he’ll bring his hand down again.

And he does. And it’s hard. Harder than the past few times. Your eyes fly open, your breath stolen from your lungs.

“Peach!” you gasp out, “Peach, peach, peach.” Again and again, anything to make it stop.

“Oh baby girl,” Austin says, as he immediately releases his hold on you and pulls you into his lap, gathering you into his arms and holding you to his chest.

You grasp his t-shirt in your hand as you cling to him, his heartbeat and yours pounding in your ears - you take big, gulping breaths. He rocks you back and forth, smoothing the hair back from your face and wiping your tears away with his thumb.

“You did so good for me, sweetheart,” he’s kissing your forehead, your eyes, your cheeks. He’s looking at you with such love and devotion and your heart feels like it might burst. You would do anything for him.

390 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

‘Prettiest Thing’

Summary: Austin Butler x Reader / You and Austin slip away during a family dinner for a little one-on-one time in the car.

Warnings: SMUT! 18+ only! Oral (m. receiving)

Author’s note: Y’all. I wrote smut. Honestly, I tried writing this 3 weeks ago, hated it and deleted it. Thought about it yesterday, undeleted it, didn’t hate it anymore and finished it. This is my first time writing smut so….eeeeeee, I’m a little scared to put this out there but here it is. Thanks to the following for their indirect guidance (aka writing some of my fave Austin / Elvis fics that include amazing smut): @elvisabutler @dreamersparacosm @aconflagrationofmyown @missmaywemeetagain

-

“This doesn’t feel pretty in my mouth,” Austin says, making a face.

“What, baby?” you say, with an amused smile, looking at him questioningly.

“This salad…I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel pretty in my mouth,” he says again.

You chuckle at the funny expression before a thought pops into your head.

You lean in and whisper in his ear, “I know something that feels pretty in my mouth,” biting your bottom lip as you look him in the eyes. You place your hand discreetly on his thigh under the table and slowly move it up, lightly squeezing his cock through his pants. He’s not wearing any underwear tonight, he doesn’t like being constricted, so he’s bare under his thin slacks.

He goes completely still, the half-smile frozen on his face as he does his best to swallow the bite of salad he’d been chewing and not choke. You give him another squeeze then release your grip and pat his thigh before returning to your own salad.

You sneak a glance over at him - he’s taking a sip of water, a faint blush tinting his cheeks, trying to rearrange his face into something resembling normal before turning to answer a question from his uncle on the other side of him.

You really shouldn’t have been so naughty just then, not at this nice restaurant with Austin’s aunts and uncles and cousins. But sometimes you can’t help yourself…let’s be honest, most of the time you can’t help yourself. You want to jump his bones 24/7 and even when you and Austin aren’t having sex, you're thinking about you and Austin having sex…like all the time.

“Babe,” you say to Austin, an idea forming, “I left my jacket in the car, and I’m a little chilly. Will you run get it for me, please?”

You lift an eyebrow enticingly, making sure he understands your meaning.

He narrows his blue eyes at you, the faint hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Of course, sweetheart. Be right back,” he says as he stands from the table, buttoning his jacket quickly to hide his growing erection. He excuses himself, glancing back at you, a look of arousal and anticipation on his face.

You wait a minute before excusing yourself to the restroom but head to the dark parking lot instead. You find your SUV and pull the back door open, finding Austin ready and waiting for you, long legs spread wide, one hand absentmindedly palming himself over his pants, anything to get a little relief while waiting for you. You smirk at the sight of him.

“So needy for me, huh babe? Couldn’t even wait one minute?” you say as you move his seat back as far as it goes, take your shoes off and step inside the car.

“Look what you do to me,” he breathes, his hands reaching for your hips in the tight space. In the darkness you can see the glint of his eyes, the quick thrum of his pulse beating beneath his jawline.

You hike your dress up around your thighs before straddling Austin and settling on his lap. You can feel how hard he is as he grabs your waist and bucks his hips up, trying to get some friction to ease his throbbing cock. But you lift your hips a little, teasing, not giving him what he wants just yet. He lets out a frustrated sigh and moves his hands up your back to your shoulder blades, and buries his face in your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there, your sweet spot that drives you wild. You gasp as he latches on, sucking hard, using his teeth, sure to leave a mark.

You regain control of the situation, regrettably disentangling yourself from his sweet mouth on your neck and take his face in your hands, desperate to feel his lips against yours. You kiss him slowly at first, taking your time but he grows impatient and deepens the kiss with a growl, tongues and teeth clashing. You rake your hands through his sandy blonde curls and grip a handful at the nape of his neck. A moan escapes his lips and you finally grind down on him, your hot core meeting his hardness through too many layers of clothes.

Realizing you don’t have much time before people start wondering where you two are, you leave the warmth of his arms and quickly kneel on the floor of the car, between his legs. He’s already undoing his belt as you unzip his pants and pull them down a bit, reaching a hand in to grip his heavy, hot length. A sigh escapes his lips as his head rolls back, his hands clenching and unclenching into fists on his thighs.

You smirk as you plant slow, soft kisses across his stomach, blonde hairs tickling your nose, gently squeezing his cock while you do. You run your thumb over his swollen tip, precum glistening in the darkness. He whines a little, hips thrusting up a tiny bit. You’re teasing him, and he grips a handful of your hair, signaling that he needs your mouth on him, now.

“Please, baby,” he whispers, as he looks down at you.

You’re just as ready as he is, desperate to feel his velvety hardness in your mouth. You catch his eye as you lick the tip, swirling your tongue around it, again and again, before licking long, wet stripes up from the base, using your tongue to trace the vein that throbs underneath.

His grip on your hair tightens and he sucks in a hiss as you take him fully into your mouth, wrapping your hand around the rest of him that won’t fit, slick with precum and spit. You move your head and hand in a twisting tandem, a slow rhythm that has his chest heaving and his breath speeding up.

His glassy eyes are locked onto yours in the darkness, his full mouth parted, occasionally biting his bottom lip through the groans he can’t hold back any longer.

“That feels so good, pretty baby. I love you so damn much,” he says between pants.

You reach your free hand up to his and intertwine your fingers, your connection in this moment almost overwhelming you.

See the full post

541 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

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[denimbex1986]

'To offer a brief introduction: IMAX is a large-format film presentation process that involved not just 70mm film projection, but outsize screens and deep stadium seating. The original IMAX projectors didn't run film from top-to-bottom like most projectors, but from left to right, requiring a novel invention to take care of the "flicker." Most film strips operate with quick-moving dowsers that flip open for a 24th of a second and then snap shut, allowing each frame of film to "pause" ever so briefly in front of the projector lamp. Without the flicker effect, a film strip would look like a quick-moving smear. The horizontal 70mm film feed of an IMAX projector required a new kind of "rolling loop" technology to accommodate the enlarged film and screen. "Rolling loop" is difficult to explain, but needless to say, it allowed for a smoother projection process. The creators figured their invention provided the maximum amount of visual information to date, and the word IMAX became their brand. No, "IMAX" doesn't stand for anything. It's a made-up word. 

IMAX movies began making the rounds, mostly at science museums, in the 1970s. The oldest IMAX theater in the country was built in San Diego in 1973 to provide planetarium shows. That theater is still operating to this day.

It wouldn't be until around 2002 that the IMAX format would start being used in earnest for mainstream Hollywood features. Some of the "Harry Potter" movies and "Superman Returns" had some of their scenes blown up into IMAX format. "The Dark Knight" famously shot scenes on IMAX cameras in 2008. It was at that time that IMAX started experimenting with digital presentation, leading hardcore film purists to cry foul. Also, some IMAX screens started shrinking to accommodate the "weaker" digital projectors, leading to the pejorative "lieMAX." But in 2012, working with Kodak, IMAX aggressively upped their digital projection game and began to pioneer a laser-based projection system.

The laser system used two projectors simultaneously (something IMAX was already doing for its digital showings as well as its 3-D movies), and was powerful enough to fill an old-school IMAX-sized screen. To give the illusion of greater image resolution, the two projectors' images are presented with a half-pixel offset, leading to a deeper, more dynamic image. If you see a film advertised as "IMAX with LASER," rest assured that it will be on a traditionally large IMAX screen and not a lieMAX "kinda bigger than usual" screen. A traditional IMAX screen is at least 118 feet wide. 

Old-school projectors used xenon arc-lamps as their illumination source. IMAX with Laser uses, well, an enormous laser beam. The new projectors boast, according to IMAX marketing materials, 50% greater illumination and greater contrasts between blacks and whites. For many years, digital projectors struggled with presenting blacks without a certain degree of digital particulates appearing on screen. The new laser projectors remove the "digital haze." The laser projectors feature 4K resolution, which, it should be noted, is far less visual information than 70mm film. Visually translated, 70mm has 12K resolution (that is, 12,000 lines of visual information from top to bottom). 

It should also be noted that IMAX laser projectors can present films at 60 fps. Modern projectors are becoming so advanced that old-world 24-fps movies are starting to look odd and "jittery" when presented at their original frame rate. Like "Avatar: The Way of Water," more and more movies will likely have to shoot at higher frame rates to accommodate the evolving technology. 

Filmmaker Christopher Nolan brought IMAX into the mainstream in a big way with "The Dark Knight," so one might be thrilled to see his newest film, "Oppenheimer," in the same format. Nolan is famously a stickler for old-world filmmaking technology, advocating for film over digital. He has shot multiple scenes for most of his movies on large-format film and works with skilled cinematographers who know how to handle outsize cameras. 

While IMAX with Laser is an impressive format, allowing for bright images and amazing clarity, as stated above, it's still not quite as ineffably gorgeous as 70mm film. The 70mm film provides a near-indescribable "earthy" quality to the image, allowing for both clarity and visual "texture." The muted colors of a Nolan film really stand out, and the deep, wide images really capture the moody lighting of cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (who also shot "Interstellar," "Dunkirk," and "Tenet" for Nolan). To witness the visual fidelity that Nolan and van Hoytema constructed, the ideal format to see "Oppenheimer" would be on 70mm film. 

Sadly, there are only 25 theaters in North America that offer 70mm presentations. A full list of those theaters can be found on Dextero's website. There are also three proper IMAX theaters in England, one in Australia, and one in the Czech Republic. 

Of course, IMAX with Laser is nothing to sneeze at. Indeed, if we begin to intensely fetishizing one format over another, and begin refusing ourselves access to formats we consider to be less than ideal, then we're robbing ourselves of film experiences. Even a limp, average-screen 2K digital projection of "Oppenheimer" will leave audiences feeling deep, nuclear existential dread and a distinct loss of faith in the morals of humanity.'

[wizkiddx]

stop caring

yooo, so this is actually taken out of one of the sort of I guess series-esque things I’ve written, but it kinda just got shit at the end so I've given up and just wanted to post this instead. So sorry if some of the backstory isn't that clear or anything

tomhollandxfamous!reader

Summary: after your break up you bump into tom at a charity event and when shit hits the fan personally for you, someone who understands you is really what you need (angsty!!! maybe a bit of fluff too?)

TW: panic/anxiety attacks + mentions of assault

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3 months. 3 months you’d managed to avoid the boy that had given you the most joy in the previous years. 3 months without your best friend; of even when you’re with company feeling like a part of you was just absent. 

And you had been thriving. Well… that’s what everyone thought. That’s what you tried to portray, because no matter how ‘famous’ or ‘successful’ people perceived you to be - ultimately you were like anyone else. Making your insta pop off after the breakup. And so to the outside world, through the very very small lense of social media life was great. Parties, friends, work. 

You were a woman in demand - in all senses of the word. 

But of course, as is the 21st century world, it was a lie. Instagram showed only snapshots of what can be very long 24 hours in a day. Naturally, a select few obviously knew - your best friend, Y/f/n being one of them. Yet still you were missing that one support, that one person who would drag you back to reality whenever you got too much into your own head. It actually rather annoyed you, how dependent you had got on him, in every part of your life. 

And you really hadn’t expected to see him here today. You’d had your assistant check the guest list, he wasn’t on it. While getting ready, you had avoided all the products that reminded you of him; that soft nude lipstick he loved you in so much; your favourite (exfavourite) earrings. Had you known it, you would have worn these. Just because you knew it would get on his nerves a little bit. Nevertheless here you were, perhaps a little underdressed for the charity dinner in a dress you’d already worn before (because apparently that was a sin in the world of Hollywood). You couldn’t pin point from when, but it was simple yet elegant if you did say so yourself. A dark blue satin dress, that sat off your shoulders in a Bardot style; hugged your waist to accentuate your curves; then flowed outwards down to the floor with a slit up your right leg. It was simple compared to the sequin studded, diamanté jewelled dresses the rest of the women seemed to sport but it made you feel comfortable. 

Besides, that’s what you needed today. This was the first time after the breakup you’d attended a public event without your best friend-turned-assistant-turned-absolute-life-saver. Y/f/n had been the greatest with you all through your life but especially recently, she deserved the break to go back home and see her family. It was a pretty decent excuse too, her cousins wedding, so you were in absolutely no place to complain.

Evidently it just HAD to be this event then, while you were flying solo, that you’d be faced with…well with his face. His fucking gorgeous, perfect and oh so sweet face. 

Just seeing him, just seeing Tom fucking Holland, had the most intense burst of adrenaline course through your veins as you desperately scanned the rest of the room. Looking for an out, an excuse, someone to latch onto for the rest of the night. A distraction even. 

Never one to admit it openly, but really you knew your coping mechanism of the past months had been to sleep with who you wanted. Because the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else right? You knew it was stupid too. Not because of slut shaming or anything ( we aint got no outdated views here), but simply it wasn’t you. It wasn’t a good idea for you. It didn’t fit. 

Tom hadn’t seen you yet, so if you latched onto someone you’d likely be in the clear. So obviously, when your frantic glances landed upon Joe Keery, you literally sighed in relief. Joe was great, stranger things was a bit of a guilty pleasure for you - especially when you were in your trailer and bored. Just due to your line of work, you’d met a couple times, he seemed like decent crack and to you knowledge was single. 

Unsurprisingly then, you almost marched over to Joe, ignoring the slightly shaky feeling in your leg as your hearing seemed to focus completely on the sound of Tom’s bright laugh. 

It was your choice too. You’d chosen to end things. It was on you. Well really, both parties were equally guilty. Tom was the one who had been too tired and highly strung and exhausted to put effort into the relationship. Stupidly though, you were too in love to realise for so long, in doing so draining yourself in the process. The constant flying cross country to see him, when he couldn’t ever return the favour because he was too busy. It was chipping away at you, even if you didn’t notice. It took an intervention by your manager Davey and Y/f/n for you to see things for what they were. To see that Tom didn’t care as much as he used to. 

He tried to fight for it, of course Tom did, because he also truly and deeply loved you. Nonetheless though, it was too late. And that was it. You closed that book and returned it to the library. Something your mind occasionally drifts back to  and you think ‘huh that was a good read’ - yet that is the only space it occupies in your mind. 

OR that’s how it should be. Not you yesterday, comparing everything your date did to Tom and deciding everything was worse. Not you today, seeing him and nearly being floored by the way the suit was tailored to his body oh so exquisitely. Not you now, hearing his bubbly laughter and having to fight your muscles from taking you back into his arms. 

In short, you were highly strung and pining over a boy you’d killed your chance of happiness with. 

Not to blow your own horn, you knew Joe wouldn’t be against having your company for the evening. After all, you were a young, beautiful and upcoming actor. You were ,at the very least, self aware. And so for a good few hours you almost forgot about Toms presence, spending the time before the speeches sharing a ridiculously overpriced bottle of wine (or two) with him. He was funny. He made you laugh, even if he was pushing the limits occasionally and teetering just on the right side of socially acceptable. It was risky and in that moment, with the alcohol in your system, it made him seem more and more of an attractive shag. 

By the time the speeches started you were both overly giggly and had to keep shushing each other as the presenter called for quiet. Inherently, you knew exactly the location of Thomas - who he was sat around; the main he’d had at dinner; the brand of beer he’d been ordering.But that was subconscious. You were here with Joe. 

Under your voices, whilst getting some disapproving looks from the older, more mature, members of your table you and Joe sat through the first boring speech whispering jokes under your breath - making each other clamp their mouth shut to avoid bursting out laughing. Though tipsy, you were very aware of Joe inching closer and closer, while his hand was casually brushing yours or your shoulder or waist more often. You knew this was low, being so blatant in front of Tom. To be quite frank though, should you care? And did he care?

The answer in your head at least, was an almost certain no to both. 

One speech merged into another spent giggling away until Joe did something he didn’t mean. Heck he didn’t even know. His jesting quickly had toppled completely over into absolutely not category. Your brain felt like it was swimming as the name you’d avoided after that incident , almost ten years ago. The flashbacks came thick and fast. You an innocent young actor wanting to make a way in the industry. And him. A powerful, ridiculously important slightly overweight 50 year old with bad breath. That room in the corner of his hotel that you were completely lost in. 

You were going to be sick. 

Somewhere, distantly, you heard Joe saying something… asking you? Asking you if your were good? It was drowned out by a roar in your ears, you jerkily nodded your head. You knew your breathing was jilted, shaky and shallow. You knew your heart was exploding. It actually felt like a heart attack, the way it seemed to be beating as though it were going to break out of your chest. This time you really really needed an out. 

So without any words, leaving a bemused Joe, your chair screeched on the floor as you stood up, garnering the attention of the whole room. The heads literally swivelled to stare at you, judgement clearly there as you frantically half ran to the back of the room, pleading if your head fro the toilet to be nearby. You needed to be away from everyone and safe. 

Thankfully your escaped the room and the beady eyes, locating the bathroom where you threw a cubicle open, shakily locking it before collapsing into the wall in floods of tears, harsh sobs racking your frame as you clutched your hands to your knees and rocked slightly back and fourth. You dress being a full length ballgown was spilling out into the the nearby cubicles and under the door, but presumably you were alone in the loo - not hearing any other signs of life beyond your own sobs. 

This always happened when you had your anxiety attacks. It was like clockwork. Zone out, stop hearing, loose control of breathing, heart starts pounding, make a quick escape to a toilet, cry and then…

Well back before Tom, it had been to throw up. That was the only thing you’d ever found to ground you enough to get your body backorder your own conscious control. It was like a wave of relief after, like the drowning feeling in your lungs had just evaporated away. But the Tom happened. The first time he’d seen you panic he hadn’t a clue what to do either. SO he had just sat with you, not wanting you to be alone in that state and waited. That panic though, had lasted so long that you’d almost made yourself pass out from the hyperventilating. When that had happened, Tom had gone into emergency mode. He had been scared to touch you, in case that made you worse, but when he saw your body going limp he didn’t have a choice. He’d collected you into his arms, with your head against his chest. Being this close to calling an ambulance, the relief Tom felt when your breathing got more and more regular was unparalleled. 

Together, when he had you lying in his bed (recovered, if mortified and exhausted) was when you realised that you hadn’t been sick. And that was because of him. You’d grounded yourself on his heartbeat and breathing, listening to it and making yours sync up. Thats what had saved you that evening. 

Now however, Tom was gone. This was the first panic attack you’d had since he’d been gone. Of course while you were together you were rarely in the same place, even so you’d phone him. But not now. 

This all led to you sat clutching your knees as your mascara dripped down your cheeks as you had to fight to get enough oxygen into your body. You didn’t want to get into that vicious cycle of making yourself ill again. It really hadn’t been healthy.

Who knows how long you were sat there sobbing before you heard the door open and in response you clamped a hand to your mouth trying to stay silent. This irrational fear overcame you as you sat stock still, fearing the footsteps on the marble floor of the fancy function venue. Even the toilets were pretty posh. 

“Y/n?…. It’s-it’s Tom.” Oh. My. Fucking. God. That was all that was going through your brain as you bit you lip - presumably painfully, yet you didn’t really feel pain in your current state.  “Look I saw you leave and I know your on your own tonight… I-I couldn’t leave you on your own if your… well you know.” Everything was going so so fast in your brain, that it actually scared you into stopping crying, so much so you felt your hand flop back down to your side. “…I was waiting outside because I didn’t want to errr you know… but you’ve been 20 minutes so I need to know your good…..okay?”

The boy was too fucking good. And stubborn… he was too stubborn and you knew he wasn’t going to give in. It was also fairly evident that he knew you in here - there was no pretending you didn’t exist. 

“Y/n? Come on you gotta let me know.”

“I’m fine. You-you go.” Only when you spoke was it evident to yourself just how not-okay you really were. Tom just chuckled and spoke again.

“How long have you known me for? That’s just not going to happen is it.” You already knew this, but something about the way he said it made you realise a sad laugh, momentarily making you feel a bit more in control. He seemed to like that response, you heard him bend down and then saw the bottom of his tux as he sat down leaning against your cubicle door.

“Is …is this your first one… since?  You both know what he was talking about. Since you broke up. 

“Uhmm I-“ You swallowed down a fresh rise of nausea, somewhat determined to not throw up when you ex is barely a metre from you. “Yeh I suppose.” In didn’t seem a revelation to Tom, yet he still hummed lowly in response as the room drifted back to silence. 

“You… you wanna try to breath with me?… You don’t have to open the door just…”

Croaking a please in response because this feeling was really blood awful and you wanted it to end, Tom started exaggerating his breathes, as you shakily and eventually managed to start to time it with his. Without thinking, when Tom’s palm snuck half under the door you immediately grabbed and squeezed it - the contact helping to synchronise your body with his. 

It should be an alien feeling after your time apart. But no it felt oh so natural and so very right. 

Once you’d collected yourself and realised how bloody stupid this whole situation was  you withdrew your hand back, loosing the warmth as you shook your head in disapproval of yourself. So very fucking stupid. He was silent for a bit, letting you think things through whilst still sat outside your cubicle. 

“You good now?” You hummed in agreement and you felt Tom’s head fall against the door, looking up to the ceiling. “Want me to go?”

“If you want to” That was met with silence, but a very telling lack of movement that spoke a thousand words.

“You should get out of here… you wanna avoid the trigger again and I mean I know you’re exhausted.” The boy had researched panic disorder and attacks when he found out you suffered with it - he probably knew more of the psychology of it than you, whilst never having any first hand experience of it.  Annoyingly he was right, as per, after attacks you always always slept for hours - it was just a draining process. “I’ll get you a car if you want?…. I’d like to make sure you get back okay if you don’t mind.” With only your cold and empty residual feeling left, his words still managed to ignite a spark of warmth in your chest. 

“I’m not going to ruin your evening Tom.” You tried to refuse even if it was very very forced and very very hopeful he wouldn’t give in. 

“I was having a crappy evening. Sitting in the ladies toilet talking to my ex through a toilet door has actually been the highlight.”He chuckled playfully in a self pitying way, somehow again making you giggle. And so he had you standing on slightly unsteady feet, your black heels held in one hand because no wasn’t the time to put yourself through teetering around on pin needles. The shuffling outside the door meant Tom stood up too - before you unlocked the door and opened it. 

Prior to seeing Tom your eyes locked on the sight of your reflection, in the mirrors above the sinks opposite you. Perhaps the only way to describe it… it was a sight. The shock being in the juxtaposition between the elegant dress, which even having been crumpled on a bathroom floor had somehow managed to survive and still look near the off-the-hanger; but your face? Oh that was a shit show. You’d cried your makeup off almost completely, leaving your face blotchy and shining as well as the ever so telling smudged mascara under your bottom lash line. 

You had to laugh or you’d just start to cry.

“Don’t worry I’ve seen you much worse.” You saw in the reflection as Tom leaned in and whispered in your ear, making your eyes roll and head shake as you looked from him back to you. 

“I look like a paps dream.” Without instruction, Tom bolted into a nearby cubicle, wrapping layers of toilet roll round his hand before offering it to you as a makeshift wipe.

“This is the glamour of Hollywood don’t you know? Wiping your face with bog roll”Thankfully taking it, you offered Tom a thankful smile as he stepped back, giving you space as he leant against another cubicle pillar. Once you finished up blotting your face, Tom had already shrugged off his jacket walking toward you as he offered it out. Tilting your head to the side in a questioning manner Tom just shrugged, saying it’d help avoid the paparazzi just in case. In reality you weren’t so sure, but anyhow you still appreciated the gesture and draped it round your shoulders with a muttering of thanks. 

At this point his phone pinged, the car was outside, so without any words exchanged he led you to the door, checked the hallway was clearly before guided you back to the exit. There didn’t appear to be anybody lurking around, which you were oh so thankful for as you almost threw yourself in to the safety of the blacked out car. Tom followed and you both, almost comically as if scripted, released a sigh in unison as you melted into the seats. That had you chuckling dryly as you sat in silence. 

“You know we can’t move till you say where you’re staying?” Teasing you, Tom shot you that ever mischievous grin that made the blood rush through your skin. After you’d told the driver, the car pulled swiftly out the laibi.

“Did he…did he say something?” Tom’s demeanour had steeled up and you looked questioningly up at him. “Joe… you looked…close.”

“Oh”. You were taken aback. You should have seen this coming to be fair, him asking for the trigger this evening - and yet you were more shocked at his jealousy. How he looked pained to mention Joe by name. “Um no… well sort of…it was a joke. He didn’t mean it but it er…it took me back.” Tom knew your history, he knew what happened all those years ago and he nodded slowly , keeping his eyeline straight ahead. 

“He’s a dick.”

“No he’s not…. He- he was sweet enough . It was all me.”

“What?”

“I pushed myself on him. I-I saw you… I was spooked.” Tom left it to drift back to silence. He had a lot of thinking to do too. 

He’d obviously kept up to date with you. Call it a professional interest. That was the problem being in love with someone when you weren’t allowed to be. But it hurt like hell, especially when he heard what you were doing. Because he knew this wasn’t you. He knew you sleeping around wasn’t going to help you recover - in fact he thought (and quite correctly) it was the opposite. That long term it’d only cause you more and more pain. 

“You know, you don’t have to do this?… I-I know it isn’t you. I’m not insulting or anything I’m… I’m just worried.” You knew he was being truthful . And infuriatingly he was right. Which only made it even more annoying. 

“Why do you care though?” Looking out the window that was all you could think to say. That was your subconscious talking as you didn’t really want the answer. Or you desperately did but you knew it’d be hard to get over. 

“Y/n” He sighed, making you look across at him “I’ve not stopped caring… I’ll never stop caring.”

Wasn’t that just a knife to the heart. You held your breath momentarily, not knowing what to think (nervermind say) in response to that. Everything in that car seemed to freeze, Tom’s eyes piercing the deepest and darkest parts of your mind as he stared at you. You both really weren’t over it. You were both hurting. You missed each other.

And you were about to dive in all over again. 

But then the indicator ticked on. The car pulled to a stop. The ignition switched off by the driver. You were at your hotel. The journeys end - quite literally. 

Tom felt it too. He knew if ever there was a chance, however rogue and unlikely, of you two working things out it was within this journey. And he’d failed.

“I-uh…I-this is me” Stammering through, distracted by the way Tom’s eyes shone with disappointment. 

‘Yeh - yeh it is I guess.”

“Well er… thanks for, well you know… for saving me. You er-you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to”

“Yeh well er thanks…. And er-Oh! Your jacket” You realised, already tugging the tailored suit jacket from your shoulders. 

“No no it’s really okay. I have loads anyway.” See?In Hollywood you really weren’t allowed to wear the same thing twice. 

“Oh-okay. Well er….I’ll see you around I guess?”

“Can I walk you to your room, just to-check no one bothers you?” Tom was trying. Desperately trying. He could feel you slipping through his fingers again, this time he wanted to put up more of a fight. You shook your head thought, a sad smile gracing your lips. 

“I’d say yes but I think I know where that’d end up…. And I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Defeatedly nodding, Tom just smiled in a tight-lipped fashion, equally as sadly at you. 

“I’ll errr I’ll see you around.” While gathering yourself and preparing to exit the car, your hand on the door handle. Tom responded with a ‘yeh’ but before you left you leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before whispering under your breath..

“Thankyou Tom.”

part 2 ish of sorts --> link

[ao3bronte]

I posted 1,066 times in 2021

233 posts created (22%)

833 posts reblogged (78%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.6 posts.

I added 1,218 tags in 2021

#miraculous ladybug - 697 posts

#ml - 118 posts

#bronte draws - 72 posts

#lol - 54 posts

#adrinette - 51 posts

#farm au - 50 posts

#fashion - 48 posts

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#ml fanart - 45 posts

#tiktok - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#there's a whole slew of people who don't support me let's be honest

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

freedom [doesn't come free] by Bronte

also known as the chat blanc au where I rage wrote a new ending for chat blanc.

317 notes • Posted 2021-03-07 21:44:52 GMT

#4

Title Page | Next | All

i'm back on my bullshit farm au based on this post

337 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 21:03:50 GMT

#3

What is Adrien left Paris after the arrest of his father?

Adrien, in an attempt to get away from the press after the reveal of his father as Le Papillon, purchases a dilapidated villa in the picturesque Loire Valley to try and escape. He buys it through a broker without actually looking at it and, upon arriving with three bags of clothes and nothing else, solemnly realizes he's in WAY over his head.

Desperately, Adrien watches a lot of YouTube videos and slowly but surely rebuilds this house. He learns now to patch walls and mend broken floorboards. He gives himself a black eye trying to replace a window. He spends an entire week installing roof tiles and gets a massive sunburn.

It's honest work. He kind of likes it.

He digs himself a little bed in the fertile French soil and starts to grow vegetables, but not before nearly breaking his pinkie finger with a hammer and killing every seedling he touches. He gets the hang of it as a matter of speaking, and rejoices when little yellow flowers finally blossom against the deep green leaves of his tomato vines.

It's been months and no one knows where Adrien is. He hasn't turned his old mobile on in months, but that doesn't stop professional stalker and worry wart extraordinaire Marinette Dupain-Cheng from hunting him down. She shows up on his stoop in late August and demands to come in immediately, if only to make sure her partner is okay.

Together, they toddle their way through provincial life, break several mirrors (him) and sprout many more zucchini than humanly consumable (her). They eventually finish the home enough to be livable in the middle of a raging thunderstorm and once they get the last shutter closed, they kiss so passionately that even the lightning pales in comparison.

It's not perfect - not by any means - but their dilapidated little French villa is undoubtedly them.

442 notes • Posted 2021-03-01 01:22:33 GMT

#2

When Marinette received Ladybug's invite to the Met Gala in Hollywood, she just knew she had to design an outfit that would correctly highlight her poise, power and absolute pleasure when it came to fashion.

Needless to say, she steals the show.

See Chat Noir, Carapace and Rena Rouge here!

(Inspired by Georges Hobeika.)

568 notes • Posted 2021-04-13 18:11:29 GMT

#1

Marinette (F25), a successful fashion designer, Instagram superstar, Twitch champion, Honours Bachelor’s of Fine Art and Business, marketing guru, inspiration for young girls and boys, mentor, philanthropist.

Adrien (M25), house husband, ginned up and looking to indulge his obsession in vintage Ladybug merchandise.

688 notes • Posted 2021-02-07 21:34:30 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[drlokiren]

I posted 3,447 times in 2021

123 posts created (4%)

3324 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 27.0 posts.

I added 1,063 tags in 2021

#0 - 23 posts

#the terror - 396 posts

#jared harris - 186 posts

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#& then when u read the battersby biography it gets even better cuz you realize he was fitzy's dumbass sidekick from the birdshit island days

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Latest in our Jared Harris watch was Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. I had only seen once before, in the theater with my dad. I immediately thought Jared was super hot but disconnected my brain because I didn’t want to think about his hotness next to my dad. Jared is my absolute favorite portrayal of Moriarty. The quiet intensity, the Irish lilt in his voice, watching him lecture about math, watching him get off on torturing Holmes. And then there is Moran and I am convinced that those two were in a relationship. I have deeply mixed feelings about the film overall thanks to the racism and the queer baiting but Jared’s performance is a tour de force. It’s the only version where I almost want Moriarty to win. Also Jared Harris looks amazing in every fucking outfit. The tweed suit and academic gown? Stunning! The suit with white tie and gloves? Wreck me, sir! And the man can absolutely rock a top hat. I am glad I was reintroduced to Jared’s performance and that some exquisite BDSM Moriarty/Moran fanfic exists.

23 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 03:18:52 GMT

#4

I also bought this Jared Harris wardrobe swatch. By the feel of the material, it came from a shirt. My inner Jopson damn near fainted. I have been petting it slightly obsessively.

24 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 23:12:24 GMT

#3

We had to watch the last few episodes of The Terror last night. Holy hell, what a powerhouse of a show, though I spent a great deal of time hiding in my wife’s boobs. More notes

1. Jared Harris continues to be amazing

2. I wish Adam Nagaitis had more scenes in Chernobyl because the man is super talented. On a related note, my wife and I are now working on a Cornelius All Along song

3. The love between Jared Harris and his valet is real and so heartwarming

4. I am very impressed with the way this show depicts male bonds and masculinity

5. So many characters I did not know I would cry for

6. The final episode almost broke me

What a roller coaster of a journey. Thanks to all the Jared Harris fans out there who pointed us in the right direction

29 notes • Posted 2021-03-28 14:47:14 GMT

#2

Hello Terrors! I’m getting really excited for Terror Camp but I have more exciting news! My panel “There Will Be Poems”: Depictions of Masculinity and Care in Modern Media has been accepted for the Northeast Modern Language Association conference in 2022! My work will involve discussion of true and false care and lots of tender Francis. I will be presenting my Terror research and I hope to get some feedback after Terror Camp. Hopefully in 2022 I can try to publish my work. It would make to so happy to discuss this amazing show and performances in a journal. I would like to thank everyone here who encouraged down. I’ve been down since my PhD graduation and it feels good to get back into academic stuff.

50 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 23:29:32 GMT

#1

So I just came across Jared Harris in The Other Boleyn Girl. My God. The beauty of that man is beyond compare. I have never seen a man moan like that in sex scenes and I need a very cold shower. Also seeing what that gorgeous ass looks like naked and being able to gaze upon the freckles was entirely too much. I would not have been able to handle this as a teen and I’m still shook as a 33 year old. Also really enjoyed the confessional style filming and the costumes weren’t so shiny as the Hollywood version. But Jared Harris had me swooning. I’m only sorry that there hardly any pictures of him from this masterpiece, presumably because he would break the internet.

62 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 05:26:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[tabloidtoc]

People, May 10

Cover: Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade

Page 3: Chatter -- Mindy Kaling on technology woes, Amy Adams on wanting to go into acting because of Grease, Gal Gadot on telling her daughters Maya and Alma about her pregnancy, DJ Khaled on using Rihanna's skin-care line, Christie Brinkley on showing off her body on Instagram at age 67, Whoopi Goldberg on writing a superhero movie about an older Black lady

Page 4: 5 Things We're Talking About -- Michael Keaton returns as Batman, Jane Fonda recalls her first and best kiss, Maya Rudolph would give Bridesmaids another go, the stars of ER scrub in one more time, popcorn and donuts team up

Page 7: Contents

Page 8: StarTracks -- one day before Prince William and Princess Kate's youngest child Prince Louis turned 3, Kensington Palace released a new portrait of the little royal to mark the occasion; Kate snapped the photo of Louis, who wore a school uniform and backpack as he rode his bike outside their home in London ahead of his first day of preschool

Page 9: JoJo Siwa and mom Jessalynn went for a roller-coaster ride at Disney's Hollywood studios in Florida, Madonna in a three-piece Gucci suit for dinner at West Hollywood staple Craig's

Page 10: Stars on Set -- Rachel Brosnahan was pretty in pink while filming season 4 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with costar Alex Borstein in NYC, John Cena flashed a peace sign when he took a coffee break while filming The Suicide Squad spinoff series Peacemaker in Vancouver, Tika Sumpter and James Marsden shot an action-packed scene for Sonic the Hedgehog 2 in Vancouver

Page 11: Katie Holmes was spotted on a Connecticut set preparing to film the drama The Watergate Girl in which she'll play Watergate prosecutor Jill Wine-Banks, Awkwafina and Bowen Yang filmed the upcoming season of Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens in NYC, Melissa Benoist suited up for Supergirl in Vancouver

Page 12: Brooke Shields who is recovering after breaking her femur in a gym accident walked arm in arm after a lunch with husband Chris Henchy, Britney Spears and boyfriend Sam Asghari posed for a photo before attending a friend's wedding

Page 15: Stars in the Sun -- Maren Morris flaunted her new tan while enjoying a tropical getaway, Simone Biles and boyfriend Jonathan Owens cuddled up during a trip to Florida, Lindsey Vonn caught some waves and some rays while paddleboarding in Tulum, Derek Hough cooled off in the ocean during a beach day in L.A., Brie Larson enjoyed a dip while on vacation in Hawaii

Page 17: Scoop -- Life After Their Split -- how Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are moving on

Page 18: Inside Caitlyn Jenner's run for governor

Page 20: Heart Monitor -- Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae Young ready to wed, Pete Davidson and Phoebe Dynevor going public, Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Billie Eilish and Matthew Tyler Vorce new couple?

Page 23: Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin's messy divorce

* Susannah Constantine -- my royal friendship with Princess Margaret

Page 24: Open House -- French Montana

* Baby Boom -- the latest on Hollywood's growing families -- Marie Kondo and Takumi Kawahara welcomed a son, Nick and Lauren Carter welcomed their third child

Page 27: Ed Helms talks life after The Office

Page 29: Passages, Why I Care -- Lisa Kudrow is working with doctors at UCLA to end the stigma surrounding mental health issues

Page 31: Stories to Make You Smile -- most cats can't stand the water but 8-month-old Marlin can't get enough and his Instagram is @carolinejarvis, a first grader's airplane kits give wings to kids' travel dreams

Page 35: People Picks -- Tom Clancy's Without Remorse

Page 36: Limbo, One to Watch -- Shadow and Bone's Jessie Mei Li

Page 37: Pose, Pet Stars

Page 38: The Handmaid's Tale, Thomas Rhett -- Country Again: Side A, Q&A with Olivia Holt

Page 39: The Mosquito Coast, Inspiring America: The 2021 Inspiration List

Page 41: Books

Page 42: Oscars 2021 -- The Return of Glamour -- the show was unconventional, just 170 guests were allowed in L.A.'s Union Station, and COVID restrictions were strictly enforced, but stars did their part to bring back some movie magic

Page 43: Andra Day

Page 44: Fabulous Fashion -- crop tops, ball gowns and bows ruled the red carpet -- Angela Bassett, Zendaya, Carey Mulligan, Maria Bakalova

Page 45: Margot Robbie, Reese Witherspoon, Viola Davis, Amanda Seyfried

Page 46: Behind the Scenes -- Regina King -- the actress closed out awards season in a custom Louis Vuitton creation

Page 48: Shine Bright -- there's no such thing as too much bling -- Laura Pausini, Vanessa Kirby, Zendaya

Page 49: Maria Bakalova, Daniel Kaluuya, Glenn Close, Tiara Thomas

Page 50: Very Well Suited -- these sharp dressers put their own twists on the tuxedo -- Lakeith Stanfield, Colman Domingo, Paul Raci, Tyler Perry, Sacha Baron Cohen, Alan Kim

Page 53: Getting Ready with Andra Day

Page 55: Getting Ready with Angela Bassett

Page 56: Romance on the Red Carpet -- these couples only had eyes for each other -- Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher, Halle Berry and Van Hunt, Chloe Zhao and Joshua James Richards, Riz Ahmed and Fatima Farheen Mirza

Page 57: Steven Yeun and Joana Pak, Leslie Odom Jr. and Nicolette Robinson, Paul Raci and Liz Hanley Raci, Aaron Sorkin and Paulina Porizkova

Page 58: Best in Show -- there were A-list stars, groundbreaking moments and social distancing as Hollywood gathered safely to honor the best movies of the year -- Reese Witherspoon

Page 61: Alan Kim, Angela Bassett, Rita Moreno

Page 62: Major Moments -- these artists broke barriers during the most historic ceremony ever -- Emerald Fennell, Chloe Zhao, Daniel Kaluuya

Page 63: H.E.R., Anthony Hopkins, Yuh-Jung Youn with Brad Pitt, Mia Neal

Page 65: Yuh-Jung Youn and Daniel Kaluuya and Frances McDormand, Elton John and Dua Lipa, Andra Day and Winnie Harlow

Page 66: Cover Story -- Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union -- Dream Team -- the actress and NBA champ open up about protecting their family, fighting for what's right and why they're stronger than ever

Page 72: George Floyd's Killer Found Guilty -- We Can Breathe Again -- friends and family of the Minneapolis man killed by police rejoice after a jury's verdict and vow with supporters to keep fighting systemic racism

Page 76: Bethenny Frankel -- what I know now -- the irrepressible former Real Housewives star and businesswoman is newly engaged and back as a boss with a new show

Page 80: A Son Lost to Suicide, A Father's Mission -- we loved him every day, but it wasn't enough -- after the shocking death of his 12-year-old son, Brad Hunstable has a message for parents: talk to your kids about suicide

Page 84: Andrew McCarthy -- I was never suited for fame -- the beloved actor, and author of a new memoir, looks back on his enduring films, surviving his '80s stardom and how his affiliation with the so-called Brat Pack was a mixed blessing

Page 88: Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's 10-year anniversary -- remembering the big day -- those who made the wedding a fairy tale share their memories

Page 92: Country Singer Thomas Rhett -- fame, family and finding my way -- the star opens up about overcoming struggled with his wife Lauren in their 8-year-marriage and learning to put their family first

Page 98: Murdered Soldier Vanessa Guillen's Fiance -- every day I pray for justice -- a year after losing the love of his life, Juan Cruz is determined to make sure the Army specialist's legacy is never forgotten and that her tragic death inspires lasting change

Page 102: George W. Bush -- painting with a purpose -- the former president avoided making waves, until his party's nativist prompted him to use his art to celebrate immigrants

Page 106: Pop Star Julia Michaels -- how I learned to love myself -- the singer talks falling in love, managing anxiety and writing hits for Britney Spears and Selena Gomez

Page 116: One Last Thing -- Josh Duhamel

[tfc2211]

Source & Track List - All Vinyl Christmas Music Special-25-Dec-2016

01 - Ending Of It's A Wonderful Life 02 - Charlie Brown Christmas - Linus Christmas Speech 02 - James Brown - Let's Make Christmas Mean Something This Year 04 - Luciano Pavarotti, National Philharmonic Orchestra & Kurt Herbert Adler - O Holy Night (Minuit Chrétien) 05 - Dolly Parton - Medley: Winter Wonderland, Sleigh Ride 06 - Bing Crosby - Come Dear Children 'Round and 'Round The Christmas Tree 07 - Nat King Cole - The First Noel 08 - Julie Andrews - Deck The Halls 09 - John Denver & The Muppets - The Twelve Days Of Christmas 10 - Stan Freberg - Nuttin' For Christmas 11 - The Three Stooges - Wreck The Halls With Boughs of Holly 12 - Wild Man Fischer - I'm A Christmas Tree (Duet With Dr. Demento) 13 - Cheech & Chong - Santa Claus And His Old Lady 14 - Bobby Vee - A Not So Merry Christmas 15 - Bobby Vee - Silver Bells 16 - Johnny Cash - King Of Love 17 - Johnny Mathis - It's Beginning To Look A lot like Christmas 18 - Lorne Greene - (There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays 19 - Mitch Miller & The Gang - It Must Be Santa 20 - The Hollywood Pops Orchestra -  Medley: Jingle Bells / Up On The Housetop / Jolly Old St. Nicholas     21 - Glen Campbell - I'll Be Home For Christmas 22 - Barbra Streisand - Sleep In Heavenly Peace (Silent Night) 23 - The Kingston Trio - Bye, Bye, Thou Little Tiny Child 24 - Alvin/Simon & Theodore with David Seville - The Chipmunk Song 25 - The Oak Ridge Boys - Thank God for Kids 26 - Kenny Rogers - Kentucky Homemade Christmas 27 - Alabama - Christmas 28 - Little Johnny Taylor - Please Come Home For Christmas 29 - Rance Allen Group - White Christmas 30 - Mark Rice - Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin' 31 - Rufus Thomas - I'll Be Your Santa Baby 32 - Albert King - Christmas Comes But Once A Year 33 - Albert King - Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin' 34 - The Staple Singers - Who Took The Merry Out Of Christmas? 35 - Isaac Hayes - The Mistletoe And Me 36 - The Temprees - It's Christmas Time Again (The Christmas Song) 37 - Joseph Washington Jr. - Let Me Hang My Mistletoe 38 - Brook Benton - You're All I Want For Christmas 39 - The Moonglows - Hey Santa Claus 40 - The Mills Brothers - Here Comes Santa Claus 41 - The Mills Brothers - Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town 42 - The Moonglows - Lonely Christmas 43 - Aretha Franklin - Winter Wonderland 44 - The MGM Studio Orchestra and Chorus - Opening How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 45 - The MGM Studio Orchestra and Chorus - Trim Up The Tree - How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 46 - Boris Karloff - Tomorrow Is Christmas, It's Practically Here - How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 47 - Boris Karloff - Welcome Christmas - How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 48 - Boris Karloff - I Must Stop Christmas - How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 49 - Thurl Ravenscroft - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - How The Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtrack) 50 - Thurl Ravenscroft - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch (Reprise) How The Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtrack) 51 - Eugene Poddany - A Quarter of Dawn How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 52 - Eugene Poddany - Welcome Christmas How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 53 - Eugene Poddany - Finale How the Grinch Stole Christmas (The Original TV Soundtracks) 54 - Swing And Sway With Sammy Kaye - Santa Claus For President 78 rpm 55 - Bing Crosby & The Pinafores Vocal Trio and Orchestra - Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer 56 - Red Foley & The Little Foleys (Shirley, Julie, Jenny) - Frosty The Snowman 57 - Scotty Macgregor - It's Santa Claus 58 - Sugar "Chile" Robinson - Christmas Boogie 59 - Dick James -The Christmas Waltz 60 - Sugar "Chile" Robinson - Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer 61 - Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town 62 - Ray Parker Jr. - Christmas Time Is Here 63 - Blind Boys Of Alabama - Christmas In Dixie 64 - Ernest Tubb - I'm Trimming My Christmas Tree With Teardrops 65 - William Bell - Everyday Will Be Like A Holiday 66 - Clyde McPhatter & The Drifters - White Christmas 67 - The Rock-afire Explosion - Disco Christmas 68 - Bobby Helms - Captain Santa Claus 69 - Homemade Theatre - Santa Jaws (Part 1) 70 - Yogi Yorgesson - I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas 71 - Stan & Doug - Christmas Medley 72 - Louis Armstrong - The Night Before Christmas 73 - AC/DC - Mistress for Christmas 74 - The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping 75 - Wham! - Last Christmas 76 - The Bangles - Hazy Shade Of Winter 77 - Run-DMC - Christmas In Hollis 78 - Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin' 79 - Bing Crosby - Mele Kalihimaka 80 - Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) 81 - Buster Poindexter & His Banshees Of Blue - Zat You Santa Claus 82 - Bob & Doug McKenzie - Twelve Days Of Christmas

[wonderlandleighleigh]

85 Thoughts while watching Return of the Jedi

1. THE HELMETS ARE DUMB

2. I still love the idea that Stormtroopers fucking loved Vader, and all of the commanders were terrified of him. 

3. Vader helmet so shiny.

4. Back on Tatooine. It always comes back to Tatooine, doesn’t it? 

5. 3P0 was so hoping that the door wouldn’t open. He just wanted to go home. 

6. Everyone in Jabba’s palace looks really...gross. I guess that fits, right? Jabba’s palace is super gross, so.

7. I never understood as a child the slavery - and the sex slavery - aspect of Jabba’s palace. Only as an adult have I fully understood just how fucked up this is.

8. Remember kids, Luke has NO IDEA that Anakin was a Hutt slave as a child. Is there any canon stuff where he finds out about that? I’d be interested. 

9. Han’s carbonite face is so fucking dumb. 

10. Man droid torture is no joke. If that’s what they do to droids, think about what they do to people...

11. Oh god, the musical number. Like I thought it was funny when I saw it for the first time when they did the re-releases, but also, it’s this weird dissonance between that and Oola’s death. 

12. Jabba is so much creepier here than in New Hope. 

13. I love all the disguises and subterfuge in the opening storyline. And I love that they took the time to deal with Jabba and the bounty on Han’s head. It’s a nice break from the Galactic War. 

14. I remember watching this for the first time, and when Leia pulls the helmet off and is like “Someone who loves you” I was like OMG! And my shipper heart grew ten times as large.

15. Han is so...moist. Here. Blugh.

16. Ugh. God. Poor Leia. They do a good job of illustrating just how fucking terrible Jabba is, but...god dammit. 

17. Han and Chewie reunion! <3 <3 <3 

18. Luke Skywalker - Jedi Knight. Somewhere Mace Windu is looking at all of Luke’s attachments and impulsive behaviors and dry heaving. 

19. THE BIKINI IS GROSS! The only thing good about it is that Leia will eventually strangle Jabba to death while wearing it. Otherwise? Ugh.

20. Luke Skywalker. Jedi Knight. Fashion icon.

21. I always felt bad for the Rancor’s master. He loved his Rancor. And the Rancor was just as much a slave as any of the people in Jabba’s palace. It was probably only fed when there was a person Jabba wanted to kill so it would be as vicious as possible.

22. This trio is so bad-ass. 

23. Luke knows what the Sarlacc is. 

24. BANTHA HERD! 

25. Ugh. The Dune Sea is really fake-looking here.

26. R2 as waiter makes me so happy. It’s so ridiculous. 

27. “Convenient.” 

28. Anakin Skywalker would be so fucking proud of his daughter strangling Jabba the Hutt to death. It’s everything he ever wanted to do to fucking slavemasters on Tatooine. 

29. “Boba Fett. Boba Fett. WHERE?!” 

30. Per Dettiot: Luke went to Obi-Wan’s old hut on Tatooine and found the handbook to make his lighsaber, as well as some kyber crystals. What else he was up to between Empire and Jedi, I’m not sure.

31. Knee. High. Chanel. Boots. 

32. The sheer utter chaos and destruction would make Anakin Skywalker kvell*. 

33. I don’t know if Yoda considers Luke his friend. More like just another snot-nosed apprentice who will eventually disappoint him. 

34. Leave us alone, Palpatine. What a fucking pruny piece of shit. 

35. Yoda’s death is so bitter-sweet for me. I love Yoda. But he made so many mistakes in his life that he never really owned up to. I suppose he felt that his exile was his penance. But I don’t know if I agree. He could have come out of hiding to aid the Rebellion. 

36. Also, he was planning to die without coming clean to Luke about Vader. And that is some horse shit.

37. “Suffer your father’s fate.” At least he’s admitting that Anakin wasn’t solely to blame. That there was manipulation there. 

38. “I can’t go on alone.” Go find Ahsoka and Ezra! You’re not alone!! 

39. The fact that Obi-Wan truly believed that that Anakin had died and Vader took his place. 

40. Yoda and Obi-Wan never moved on from their trauma. They keep reliving their trauma and so they cannot move forward, and so they keep making the same mistakes over and over. Asking Luke to kill Vader is proof of that. 

41. And it really shows that Obi-Wan, even after his attachments to Satine and Akakin and Ahsoka - does not understand family. Luke saying “I can’t kill my father,” and Obi-Wan being like “Whelp. There’s no other way so the Emperor wins.” 

42. There being no mention of Luke and Leia’s mother ANYWHERE except for the one moment later on, drives me CRAZY. Obi-Wan could have told Luke about Padme then.

43. I love that Han and Leia can sit next to each other in a meeting and not have to have arms wrapped around each other. Just being next to each other is enough.

44. GENERAL SOLO! Leia’s face. “Excuse you, how did you suddenly get hotter?” 

45. The painted backgrounds are so beautiful. 

46. Poncho game is strong in this movie. 

47. FLY CASUAL is such a stupid line. I love it.

48. Skywalker twin exasperation is the best. Padme would be proud. 

49. Leia just going for it is so so good. 

50. I know Ewoks catch a lot of shit for...well..being Ewoks. But I love them. They’re adorable! And they have no qualms about eating humans! 

51. “My Son.” I think this is the first time Vader has referred to Luke as his son to someone who isn’t Luke, instead of the “Son of Skywalker.” 

52.  Watch as we realize that Leia has been holding the one brain cell this entire time, and Han, Luke and Chewie get totally clueless. 

53. PROPER. 

54. I love Ewok tree houses. 

55. Remember kids. They were planning to eat Han, Luke and Chewie. 

56. Where the hell did that dress even come from that Leia is wearing??? They just had that lying around? 

57.  I guess they ate the last woman who wore it.

58. I love that 3P0 in New Hope, claims he’s not much of a storyteller, and then in the Jedi like is like a master storyteller lol. 

59. And here, we get the only mention of Padme. And it wasn’t even Padme. It was a handmaiden. I will forever be salty that Padme isn’t mentioned at all because George didn’t think of her until the prequels. Argh.

60. Luke’s unwavering belief in Anakin is so amazing. The sequels did that part of his character so dirty. This version of Luke would never have tried to kill his nephew. 

61. “It is too late for me.”  God dammit, Anakin. The thing is that if he goes with Luke, he is admitting that everything he has done for the last twenty years is all for nothing, and he just fucking can’t do it. So much denial .So much pain. Fuck you, Vaderkin.

62. EWOK ON A SPEEDER 

63. REX! A REX SIGHTING! YES! 

64. Y’all remember that Ewok movie with the blonde child? “Star cruiser crash!!” 

65. Padme would be so proud of Luke’s fashion.

66. Wedge got promoted! Yay! 

67. I love the old Hollywood trick of shadowing the Emperor’s face except for his eyes. 

68. I just. I love that the Empire is defeated by fucking teddy bears. I know a lot of people hate it, but it’s just- it feels so karmic.  They’ve done such terrible things. And to be taken down by these fuzzy, little bastards. *chef’s kiss* 

69. Palpatine hitting in that nerve that Luke has about his attachments. About his hope. Oof.

70. The entire Vader fight is just him trying not to see how much like Padme Luke is. That’s gotta hurt. 

71. Bro. Vader. You do not want to try shit with Leia. Like. No. Fuck’s sake. Don’t try it. She’ll have all of you arrested and then executed. 

72.  Yes Luke. Thow away that lightsaber. Show that wrinky fuck who’s boss. 

73. I love that Anakin gets to make the right choice here. He does what he didn’t do with Mace. He finally realizes all the lies...all the manipulation...that he can make things different. And he does. And it rightfully costs him his life.

74. Vader couldn’t survive. Vader would have been tried for his crimes and either executed or jailed for the rest of his life. The same thing happened to Ben Solo in the sequels. He had to die. Otherwise he’d have to have a real-world ending: Prison or execution.

75. I feel so sad that Anakin became this fucking horror show of a person. It didn’t have to be this way. Fuck. 

76. “Tell your sister...you were right.” 

77. Oh Han no. No no no. 

78. No Han.

79. HAN. 

80. Han’s face when he finds out Luke is Leia’s brother is hilarious. 

81. I wish that Rex and Ahsoka had been there when Luke burned Anakin’s body. I feel like they needed to, for their own closure. And Luke would have felt like he had people who understood. Who loved and knew Anakin before all of this. 

82. AND NOW WE PARTY! 

83. Let’s eat Stormtrooper! 

84. I am SO MAD that all of this will be undone by the sequel trilogy. Ugh.

85. I want them to refilm Hayden now that he’s just about the age Anakin would have been when he died as a Force ghost. I feel like that would be really nice. 

*Kvell -  Yiddish - to be bursting with pride 

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : Martin Scorsese (1942-present)

Of all the places in the world that seem to be hubs for creative energy, New York stands high on my personal list of favorites, and when it comes to iconic New York filmmakers, there aren’t many that can hold a candle to the prolific career of Martin Scorsese.  His appreciation for films, art and music blasts off the screen with the same energy as his kinetic cinematography and vibrant editing.  Once he established himself as a mainstay in the industry, his list of collaborators evolved into a who’s who of acting legends, both old and new.  His career spans just over 50 years, and even his latest film (his 25th in his catalog) went head to head with other contenders for the top awards of the year.

To put it bluntly, there is Martin Scorsese, and then there is a long list of imitators and those influenced by his genius.  To rank his films is a true test of logic, patience and decision making, but after a few weeks of catching the 7 or so films I had yet to see, I think I can stand behind this list as my definitive ranking (from least to most favorite) of a director I hold in the highest regard. 

25. Gangs of New York (2002) An honest attempt at an epic flick, but at the heart of the matter, I simply don’t care about either side in the battle Scorsese presents us.  Set in New York City in the mid 19th Century during the Civil War, we are thrown into a generational battle where the two key figures have different goals... Bill the Butcher stands as antagonist in his fight to maintain power and control, while Amsterdam is our protagonist charged with a mission of revenge.  In the end, neither side ends up mattering, very much like my personal experience with this all flourish, no foundation exercise in style.

24. Bringing Out the Dead (1999) Nicolas Cage was gearing up for the run that most people know him for now during the release of Bringing Out the Dead : he was coming off of Golden Globe and Academy Award wins for Leaving Las Vegas, but was quickly leaning towards films of a more exploitation-based style.  This film marked a refinement of his wild-man persona, while simultaneously being one of the last high-level actor/director combinations he would be involved in before his mad dash to accept every film and avoid bankruptcy.  New York is captured in a mid-transition point between the darkness of the 1970s and 1980s versus the Disney aesthetic of the new millennium, and while heavy on the entertainment factor (as well as visually striking), there is ultimately not enough on this plate to push it higher up the list.

23. The Color of Money (1986) If you had to do a quick gander at the Scorsese list and pick the film that, on paper, screams Hollywood, it’d be hard to argue against The Color of Money taking that top spot.  A soft sequel to The Hustler, Scorsese picks up the Fast Eddie story in the 1980s (an era that oozes out of each and every frame of this film), and yet, despite this legendary move, the film is ultimately the Tom Cruise show.  Scorsese’s trademark dollying and trucking camera shots work beautifully in the context of this film, but in a story that shines bright, the star of Cruise ultimately outshines all that remains.

22. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974) After a few exploitation-based projects, it seemed that Martin Scorsese wanted to provide a slightly different change in perspective, albeit one that still dwells in the darker corners of life.  Rather than deal with the streets of New York or crime, Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore is a study on broken homes, single parenthood and domestic violence that oscillates between the view of the titular Alice and her young son.  Harvey Keitel gives another strong performance as a Scorsese regular, while Ellen Burstyn shines in a transitional role towards more mature performances.  Seeing Scorsese camera movements coopted into a more down to Earth story was refreshing.

21. The Departed (2006) Many people would have assumed that The Departed would be higher on a list of Scorsese films based solely on the cast... pairing Leonardo DiCaprio opposite Matt Damon in a tension-filled triangle with Jack Nicholson is a bold combination in its own right, but surrounding this nucleus with Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Corrigan, Anthony Anderson and supporting actors of that ilk creates a rich showcase of talent.  Stylistically, everything you need is there too, as Scorsese proved time and again that films of this nature were his wheelhouse.  That being said, the story itself, an adaptation of the 2002 Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs, takes a few liberties in its adaptation that ultimately are to the detriment of the narrative.  Kudos to Scorsese for putting this one together, and too bad for him that the choices of William Monahan knocked what could have been a mega-classic way down the list.

20. New York, New York (1977) New York, New York is one of the most unique offerings from the Scorsese canon for a number of reasons.  Of all his films, this one is probably the one that can be considered a “style exercise” more than the rest, as it oscillates between obvious sets and real locations before blurring the lines between the two.  Long gaps of time are given to fully executed musical numbers (a must when a talent like Liza Minnelli is involved), and traditional methods of songwriting and performance are given their due respect.  The exercise portion, however, comes in the newer acting styles that are infused into the old school structure... improvisation and aggressive physicality are used to put a deeper, disturbing red tint on an era often presented through a rose-colored lens.  While interesting at times, the nearly three hour run time of the film begins to wear on the limits of the style, which ultimate leaves the film feeling more like a personal indulgence than a statement on changing times.  For the iconic title track alone (and the buildup to its release), this film is worth seeing, but in terms of its placement in the realm of other Scorsese films, it may have to grow on me a while to find a higher placement on the list.

19. Boxcar Bertha (1972) Originally, this film was much lower on the list, largely due to its chronological placement between Who’s That Knocking at My Door and Mean Streets seeming odd to me.  Upon revisitation, however, it stands clear and present that this film served as an exercise in the process of directing and organizing a shoot.  With its period-specific placement, ensemble cast and action sequences, it was bound to be compared to (and ultimately overshadowed by) the formidable Bonnie and Clyde, but Boxcar Bertha has a few key moments in it (including a stellar final action sequence) that places it near the middle of the Scorsese canon, even with it being his second film.

18. Who's That Knocking at My Door? (1967) For all of the refinement that Scorsese found in his second film, his debut film, the stunning Who’s That Knocking at My Door?, stands as testament to the fact that Scorsese brought his many gifts to the table from day one.  What started as a student graduate film grew into a speculative project, only to find 25th hour funding that allowed it a festival run and a proper release.  The film took many years to complete and release, to the point that keen viewers will notice Harvey Keitel’s boyish, soft good looks morph into the sharper, edgier intense profile we came to recognize in Mean Streets and the films that followed.  The energetic cinematography, respect of film as a medium, stellar music choices, defiance of youth, toxic masculinity and realistic look at relationships are all here, making this debut a hidden gem in the Scorsese canon.

17. The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Seeing Scorsese retread old stylistic ground (as opposed to infusing his style into newer projects) is an interesting take, and for what my opinion is worth, The Wolf of Wall Street feels like Goodfellas for white collar criminals.  In theory (and, in some aspects of the film, in reality), the experiment does work, but ultimately, this film finds its placement in the middle realms simply because we are given infinite sizzle off of what amounts to a very thin steak.  Goodfellas works because it is carried by the weight of omerta, but The Wolf of Wall Street focuses on a culture where status comes from self-appointed importance, which ultimately makes for an attempted redemption story for despicable people.  

16. The Irishman (2019) Seeing actors the stature of Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Al Pacino combine forces for a film is always a major event, but until 2019, those combinations have been limited to duos.  When Netflix announced its intention to release The Irishman in 2019, people were not only intrigued on Scorsese’s take on the Jimmy Hoffa story, but seeing De Niro, Pesci and Pacino in the same film for the first time.  For what it was worth, the trio lived up to all expectations, with the only bittersweet criticism being wishes that the three could have found a way to work together prior to the twilight of their careers.  The historical drama is high quality, with Hoffa’s larger than life persona captured perfectly by Pacino, and bolstered by the dramatic chops brought to the table by De Niro and Pesci.  The film is a tad on the long side, and the de-aging process tips into the realm of the uncanny valley due to the older actors’ physicality, but for a 25th film 52 years into an illustrious career, The Irishman must be recognized for the triumph that it is.

15. The Aviator (2004) Much like The Wolf of Wall Street, I avoided The Aviator for years simply because I have no interest or fascination with Howard Hughes.  I was very much aware of his financial stature, his innovations as an aviator, his rocky love life and his personal demons that plagued him, but for my money’s worth, I was fine without seeing it presented on the big screen.  In an effort to cover all the bases for a director I hold in high esteem, however, I made the decision to finally check out The Aviator, and for every element of the film I previously had no interest in, an element was presented that won me over.  Cate Blanchett and Adam Dunn put on two of the strongest performances in the entire realm of Scorsese films, and the XF-11 crash sequence is possibly one of the grandest and well executed in any Scorsese film.  Leave it to Martin Scorsese to make a powerful film about an individual I care nothing about and nearly crack the top ten with that effort.

14. Hugo (2011)  Up to the point of watching Hugo, I knew nothing about it.  About halfway through Hugo, I had to stop and look up how the film was received, as it was simply stunning, and sure enough, it was a monster in terms of award nominations and wins.  I never would have pegged Scorsese as the type to direct a kid’s film, but in all honesty, that ‘kid’s film’ title is used as a façade for a love letter to film in general, and the groundbreaking work of Georges Méliès specifically.  The look of the film is otherworldly, the energy is light, kinetic and infectious, and even a mostly slapstick performance by Sacha Baron Cohen yields surprising emotional depth when given the opportunity to do so.  While just missing the top ten, Hugo easily stands as the number one surprise on this list in terms of pre-viewing expectations (of which there where none) versus post-viewing thoughts (of which there are many).  Knowing that Hugo exists lets me know that one day, if I have children, and they want to know why I love film so much, I will have a film on the level of Cinema Paradiso to share with them and (hopefully) help foster a love of film they can call their own.

13. Casino (1995) For a time, this film stood as the last work containing the vibrant combination of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, a trio of high energy creatives known for putting their all into their projects.  Casino felt like a spiritual successor to Goodfellas, focusing on a lavish but secretive lifestyle with high stakes and even higher consequences.  An instantly iconic movie,  Casino felt like the end of an era in regards to gangster fare for Scorsese, opting instead for more challenging projects, adaptations of other books and films, or personal passion projects.  It would be nearly 25 years later before Scorsese would touch similar subject matter or work with these actors again, but had Casino been the last of Scorsese’s so-called “gangster” films, I believe the world would have been happy with that.

12. Kundun (1997) To make one religious-based film in a career is a bold move to some, but I am hard-pressed to think of any director that made films on two different religions who didn’t explicitly make religious films.  With that in mind, it is incredibly impressive that Martin Scorsese was able to make a film as moving and objective as Kundun after making such a bold take on religion as The Last Temptation of Christ.  The film centers around the discovery, growth and eventual escape to India in light of growing aggression from China.  In all honesty, I had my doubts as to whether or not the Scorsese style would work for this story, especially in light of the lack of cooperation from Tibet and China, but somehow, Scorsese’s amazing signature camerawork captures the unique spirit and essence surrounding the Dalai Lama.  I’d heard of this film for years, but never got around to it until it was time to make this list, but I will almost certainly try to find a copy to own in the near future. 

11. The King of Comedy (1982) What an odd left turn in regards of career trajectory for both Scorsese and De Niro.  With three collaborations already under their belt (not to mention The Godfather II already being a well-established classic), it would have been easy to imagine the duo putting another notch on the gangster film genre belt.  What we are given, however, is the yang to the yin of Taxi Driver : our protagonist is a statement on personal conviction and the trappings of instant stardom, our antagonist is a statement on star fascination and the high costs of celebrity, and our satellite characters directly reflect the toxicity certain fandoms can be capable of.  Scorsese sets aside his normal flourish and camera moves for a mixing of film and video mediums, as well as a completely new sense of freedom in regards to the highly improvised nature of the film.  Its influence on recent successful films like Joker is undeniable, but I’d argue that Joker lacks the heart, sincerity and realistic bite present in The King of Comedy.

10. After Hours (1985) Of all the “new to me” Scorsese flicks I finally viewed while preparing this list, After Hours stands as my favorite discovery of the bunch.  I was marginally familiar with the film, both from my younger days in video stores and from friend recommendations, but for some reason, when Scorsese time arrived, After Hours seemed to never be on the docket.  That oversight, however, will now be a thing of the past.  This film feels like a personal challenge to Woody Allen in regards to how one should make a New York-based romantic comedy, and I’d be hard pressed to share any shortcomings or failures present in this comedic masterpiece.  One of the few films that can be both a product of its era and a timeless classic, and one that should be much more recognized in the Scorsese canon.

9. Shutter Island (2010) Me hesitating or not getting around to Scorsese films seems to be a bit of a common theme here, but there was literally no excuse for me to take this long to get around to Shutter Island.  Despite knowing the premise of the story (and even having the ending somewhat spoiled for me), I still found the impact of the final moments just as powerful as I imagine I would have going into this film blind.  Some people will likely argue this statement, but in my opinion, this was the best Leonardo DiCaprio performance captured by Martin Scorsese.  The asylum setting is wonderfully bleak, and the psychological horrors it infers create a vibrant playground for some of the most stunning visual symbolism that Scorsese has ever committed to film.  Don’t be like me if you’ve not gotten around to Shutter Island yet, because it’s a thrill ride more than worth the price of admission, and a rewarding repeat viewer. 

8. Mean Streets (1973) Mean Streets may have been Martin Scorsese’s third film, but for many fans, it was the first true indicator of the brilliance that was to come.  A true New York film through and through, it not only presented fans with a stronger Harvey Keitel performance than Who’s That Knocking at My Door?, but it introduced the world to the palatable tandem of Scorsese and De Niro that would go on to lead to years and years of iconic performances.  The use of altering aspect ratios is something that I wish Scorsese would have continued to use more often, but in all honesty, Mean Streets has style to spare.  This the film that I love to recommend when people start ranting and raving about Goodfellas, and more often than not, it impresses those unfamiliar with it just as much.

7. The Age of Innocence (1993) Martin Scorsese’s love of film is widely known and well documented, but The Age of Innocence goes an additional step further by displaying Scorsese’s love of art.  The film also is one of the most touching displays of unrequited love that Scorsese has committed to film, a slight alteration from his normal infusion of love stories trying to sustain in the surrounding chaos of gangs, crime, religion and so on.  Daniel Day-Lewis, Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder all give standout performances in this masterfully directed film.  If Gangs of New York was meant to be the definitive old school New York film in the Scorsese canon, then The Age of Innocence is the unintended definitive New York film from Scorsese, with some European touches thrown in for good measure.

6. Cape Fear (1991) Of the many, many iconic performances that Robert De Niro has given Martin Scorsese, I’d be hard pressed not to put his characterization of Max Cady at the top by a clear margin.  Cape Fear was already a classic film adaptation of The Executioners when it was first released in 1957, but De Niro pulled two fast ones with his update : in terms of casting, especially with the aforementioned De Niro, Scorsese brought the harrowing story into a much darker, recent world, therefore increasing the tension by upping the ante for violent retribution, while at the same time, paying direct homage to the original by having Elmer Bernstein adapt the original Bernard Herrmann score.  Juliette Lewis also provided a breakout performance in this modern day classic, and possibly the film that provided the most tense debate in terms of placement, as we will get into with the next film.

5. Silence (2016) Despite being one of the most recent Martin Scorsese films, this one’s limited release meant that I missed it during its initial run, and the lack of streaming service placement essentially erased it from my memory.  I was certainly intrigued about watching it for this list, and it ended up being the last film viewed.  Going into it, it felt like a sort of religious take on Saving Private Ryan, but it didn’t take long for the film to start dealing out much heavier cards in terms of faith, belief systems and cross-cultural contamination.  The Last Temptation of Christ showed that Scorsese could find nuance and secular drama from a holy tale, and Kundun showed that he could make a religious icon a relatable human figure struggling to grasp his divine appointment.  Silence is the work of a wise, steady hand, however, like some sort of cinematic parable or testament to faith in the face of crippling doubt and danger.  Scorsese is certainly still moved by the idea of faith, and he uses Andrew Garfield to display this in some of the most powerful moments that he has ever created or captured for his films.  For those who have not seem the film, this placement may feel a bit high, but I would not be surprised if, given time and proper amounts of reflection, it makes its way higher.

4. Raging Bull (1980) The placement of Raging Bull and Cape Fear was the biggest hurdle I was forced to overcome in the creation of this list.  Robert De Niro is powerfully captivating in both films, though I would personally give his performance as Max Cady the nod over his embodiment of Jake LaMotta, but when it comes down to the brass tacks of it all, Raging Bull is ultimately the better of the two films.  The raw, black and white look of LaMotta’s life already provides a gritty, unflattering portrait of a savage and uncouth man looking for beauty in the world, but that beauty he searches for appears in the boxing sequences with no apologies.  The airy look, mainly caught by dynamic slow motion photography, works in tandem with the abrasive first-person views of the combatants, not to mention the direct nature of the combat itself as the viewer is often placed directly in the line of fire.  The involvement of the real LaMotta within the film provides a nice button to the superb acting put on display by De Niro, Joe Pesci, Cathy Moriarty and the numerous actors used to portray the opponents of LaMotta.  

3. The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) Call it a trope if you like, but it feels like every great (or aspiring) director has a film in them that is driven by religion in some capacity.  The Last Temptation of Christ is unique in this sense because it takes the story of the accusations, betrayal, trial and eventual crucifixion of Jesus and turns it into a deeply faith-based suspense thriller.  Many of the familiar beats we know from the Bible are re-contextualized as visions, mystic tests of faith, carnal desires driven by lust, and nihilistic views infringing upon deep indoctrination.  Willem Dafoe plays a Jesus that is bitter in his acceptance of his fate, Harvey Keitel plays a wonderfully opportunistic Judas, and Barbara Hershey plays a very modernized version of a woman forced to use her body for survival that is suddenly trapped between necessity and passion.  The film hinges on the verge of becoming a soap opera without falling into the trappings that come with such high drama, and the walkup to the film’s amazing final sequence puts you in the emotional passenger's seat while Jesus takes the wheel and steers directly into his fate.  A dramatically powerful yet brutally sincere take on an iconic, revered and sensitive subject matter.

2. Goodfellas (1990) Is there any original praise left to bestow upon this movie?  To focus on the imperfections of this film is an act of futility, as they are mostly non-existent.  Some of Martin Scorsese’s best examples of his iconic camera movement, editing techniques, still frames, writing gleaned from personal experience, soundtrack use, loose historical connections and dark humor are found within the confines of Goodfellas.  If you’ve seen in actor in any television show or film that had any connection to the mob prior to Goodfellas or since, it is more than likely that that actor was in Goodfellas, even if only briefly.  Using Henry Hill as both an outsider and insider perspective is a brilliant narrative stroke, as he can get close to the top, but can never have it all, making him essentially a fly on the wall bursting with charisma and personality.  They highs are as epic as the lows are tragic, and for most people, it is the first film that comes to mind when the name Martin Scorsese is mentioned.  This could have very easily been the number one film on my list, but anyone who has been visiting this blog with a keen eye for detail probably figured out my favorite Scorsese film the first time they visited the DOOMonFILM blog.  

1. Taxi Driver (1976) Since the day that I started this film blog, there has been one image at the top of the page : Travis Bickle in the porn theater (with his face replaced by my logo) from the iconic Taxi Driver.  There’s not a single element that I can put my finger on for this film, but there are certainly a number of elements that do speak to me : the isolation that Travis faces, the journal-like narration that drives the story forward, the hypnotic nature of both Bernard Herrmann score and the repetitive taxi cab shots and the vivid camera movements are all burnt firmly into my brain.  Everyone that makes up the main cast for this film kills in their performance, and the ending of the film is not only a brutal one, but an ironic one in regards to where Travis lands in the eyes of those who make up the world of the film.  Martin Scorsese has made more amazing films than some directors have made, period (amazing or otherwise), but for my money’s worth, none of them are as powerful or well put together as Taxi Driver. 

[paralleljulieverse]

An Angel from Heaven Come to See Us: Darling Lili Turns 50

This week fifty years ago, Darling Lili -- the last of the big Julie Andrews screen musicals of the 1960s -- had its long-delayed World Premiere at Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome on 23 June 1970. 

The event marked the symbolic endpoint of a three-plus-year marathon in which the ill-fated production was beset by an endless stream of problems and delays from inclement weather and union pickets on location to studio takeovers and shady refinancing deals (Bart, 63-72; Dick, 146-48; Wasson, 146-48). This litany of setbacks saw the film’s already sizeable budget blowout to era-record levels estimated anywhere, depending on who you spoke to, between $14-25mill. (Warga, C-20; Wedman, 7-A; Kennedy, 175-77). Egos clashed, tempers frayed and recriminations flew with writer-director, Blake Edwards, blaming Paramount Pictures for imposing impossible demands, and studio executives firing back counter-accusations of reckless indulgence and profligacy (Oldham, 24-25; 44-45). 

That this highly publicised drama played out against the backdrop of the greatest economic downturn to hit Hollywood in half a century garnered Darling Lili an unenviable advance reputation as “the archetypal flop among big budget Hollywood productions” (Oldham, 44). “Rarely has so much bad word of mouth preceded a picture,” wrote the Saturday Review, “As the shooting schedule increased, as the costs mounted, everyone was certain that Darling Lili would prove to be a landmark disaster” (Knight 22). Another widely syndicated newspaper article dubbed it, “The Most Maligned Movie Ever,” prompting Blake Edwards to fume: “I’ve never known of an important picture in production so talked about, whispered about, and, yes, lied about as Darling Lili” (Manners, B5).

Adding fuel to widespread perceptions of the film as a legendary bomb in the making, the release of Darling Lili was held up for over a year by nervous studio execs. By 1969, Paramount had more big budget roadshow product in the pipelines than any other Hollywood studio (“Par’s Big”, 3). Panicked by the repeated failure of roadshow releases, in general, and the growing cultural backlash against big budgeted musicals, in particular, the studio feared they were “on the verge of an unprecedented financial disaster” and vacillated over how to proceed (Farber, 3). They ordered competing rounds of edits to the film, taking material out to secure a G-rating, then reinserting other material in an effort to broaden appeal (Manners, B5; “Par’s Lili Rated G”,5). There were even rumours the film might not get a release at all. It is “hiding somewhere” and seems to have “just evaporated” noted one newspaper report in late-1969 (Gussow, 62; Benchley, 9).

In December, Paramount finally held two sneak test screenings of Darling Lili in Oklahoma City and Kansas City which proved sufficiently positive for the studio to green-light release (“Kansas”, C2). After the test screenings, Robert Evans, production chief at Paramount and longtime vocal critic of Blake Edwards’s direction of the film, sounded an uncharacteristically upbeat note. “At the end of the film, there was a standing ovation,” he enthused, “and almost all the patrons stopped in the lobby to fill in comments cards...term[ing] Darling Lili as excellent, with special acclaim for both Julie Andrews and Rock Hudson” (Muir, 2-S). 

In January 1970, it was announced that Darling Lili would premiere that summer as a hardticket attraction at New York’s Radio City Music Hall (”Par Gets”, 3). The following month, a series of exhibitor previews was held in five major US cities but, in a telling sign the studio still harboured reservations about the film, the trade press was pointedly excluded from all advance screenings ("Not Ready”, 6). This same lingering disquiet resulted in a radically scaled back approach to the film’s release and marketing. 

Originally planned as a reserved-seat roadshow attraction, Darling Lili was ultimately repositioned by Paramount as part of what they called their “Big Summer Playoff,” a package of eight films given saturation releases during the summer off-season starting in June (“Paramount’s Summer Playoff”, 5). Only New York and Los Angeles would screen the film as a 70mm reserved-seat attraction; elsewhere, the plan was for the “pic to quickly saturate every major and minor market with single-house firstruns and key city multiples” (ibid.). In an era when studios typically gave their top films staggered releases and only ever issued B-product or second-runs widely during the quiet summer months, this new-style release strategy had a decided air of dump-it-and-run desperation. 

The apparent lack of care and finesse in the release of Lili did not go unnoticed. “Darling Lili undoubtedly rank[s] among the unusual summer attractions,” commented one newspaper article, “since one would expect to see th[is] multi-million dollar production around holiday time” (Sar, 4-B). Another bluntly opined that Paramount “seems to have dumped the expensive movie rather than spend any more on it” (Taylor, 21-E). Even Julie, normally the soul of diplomatic discretion in such matters, expressed public dismay at the studio’s handling of the film’s release:

“Three weeks before the opening, there was no advertising campaign. None whatsoever. Paramount didn’t seem to know how it was going to sell the picture--or if. I simply can’t understand an attitude like that” (Thomas, 13).

The sudden shift to a summer saturation release also meant the film’s premiere had to be rescheduled as New York’s Radio City Music Hall wasn’t available till July. In late-May, a matter of mere weeks before the film was set to bow, Paramount announced Darling Lili would now make its world premiere at the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood on June 23 before rolling out nationwide the following day (“‘Darling Lili’ to Premiere,” W-2). The New York premiere, meanwhile, would remain at the Music Hall but delayed a full month after the rest of the country.

Putting on a brave face, Julie and Blake did their best to launch their film. On June 18, they attended a special press preview and celebrity reception hosted by Robert Evans and his then partner, Ali McGraw, at the Director’s Guild Theatre (Sar, 24-A). Dressed in a modish psychedelic Pucci pantsuit -- which fans of Julie-trivia will note was a recycled outfit from her recent NBC TV special with Harry Belafonte -- Julie looked relaxed and radiant or, as one columnist put it, “peachy dandy in her wild patterned party pants” (Browning, 2-13). At the after-show reception, she and Blake mingled warmly with a host of Tinseltown notables including Edward G. Robinson, James Garner, Walter Matthau, George Peppard, Raquel Welch, Sally Field, Dyan Cannon, and Peter Graves (ibid).

The following week, Julie and Blake were back for the premiere proper at the Cinerama Dome on 23 June. Dressed to kill in a sleek beaded cocktail gown, Julie posed for press shots on the red carpet with Blake, Robert Evans and Ali McGraw, and co-star Rock Hudson who attended with longtime friend and agent, Flo Allen. Sponsored by the Southern Californian chapter of VIMS, Volunteers in Multiple Sclerosis, the premiere attracted a capacity crowd with an invitation-only champagne supper held at the theatre after the screening (“Premiere”, IV-8) .

For all the old-school Hollywood trappings of the premiere, the American roll-out of Darling Lili was afforded little sense of showmanship or distinction. The Cinerama Dome would be the film’s only fully reserved-seat roadshow presentation (“’Darling Lili’s’ One Reserve,” 7). The film’s run at New York’s Radio City Music Hall -- which will likely be the subject of another post next month, time permitting -- was another exception but it had a hybrid mix of partial reserved and general admission. Elsewhere, the film was released in what could only be described as a woefully slipshod manner. 

The day after the World Premiere, Lili was issued simultaneously to an idiosyncratic assortment of theatres and even drive-ins across the United States including such out-of-the-way places as Lubbock, Texas; Hattiesburg, Mississippi; and Mason City, Iowa. Conversely, several major metropolitan markets didn’t get the film till much later, and some didn’t show it at all. When the film ran it was often booked for a flying season of a week or two -- in some instances, just a few days -- and given little promotion or build-up.

On a PR trip to San Francisco, Blake Edwards was reportedly incensed to discover that Lili was being shown at a local theatre on a double-bill with The Lawyer, an R-rated crime drama (Caen, 6-B). But this was far from an isolated instance. A survey of newspaper advertising from the era shows that, throughout this initial release period, Darling Lili was widely double-billed in US theatres with a range of questionable screen-mates including Downhill Racer, True Grit, Norwood, The Sterile Cuckoo, and Lady in Cement to name a few.

Much like the film’s chequered release pattern, reviews of Darling Lili were sharply mixed. Contrary to the apocalyptic predictions, though, there were surprisingly few outright pans and quite a number of good, even glowing, notices--certainly enough to furnish choice grabs for newspaper ads. Moreover, a common refrain among even lukewarm crits was that the film was far from the disaster everyone anticipated:

“Darling Lili [is] the musical comedy a lot of people have been expecting to be a bomb, but which turns out to be a quite likeable movie” (Crittenden, D-10).

“When a movie becomes notorious like this, everyone expects it to be an unredeeming dud...I’m relieved to say Darling Lili is certainly nobody’s bomb” (Stewart, 28) 

“[E]veryone was certain that Darling Lili would prove to be a landmark disaster. Happily, the opposite seems to be the case...it is definitely, joyously, what the industry likes to call an ‘audience picture’ (Knight, 22).

While many reviewers found aspects of the film wanting, they were mostly full of praise for Julie:

“Miss Andrews has, I think, never looked better, warmer or more emotionally mature, nor has she sounded better. The irony is that she projects a richness which is wasted here. It’s like getting Horowitz to play Chopsticks” (Champlin, IV-1).

“Andrews...is one of the last of the great English music-hallmarks. She can sing effortlessly, make a mug or a moue with equal facility, throw away a line and reel it back in with the best—when she is given half a chance. Her latest, Darling Lili, is only a quarter of a chance (Kanfer, 78). 

“In Darling Lili...Julie Andrews is the most pleasant actress any audience ever had and that’s what counts...The picture’s weaknesses are Hudson and the war...But I think Julie Andrews is enough” (Geurink, 6-T).

“The best way to enjoy Darling Lili is to look upon it as escape fare [with] Miss Andrews’ golden voice for listening pleasure...While she deserves something much better than her role in Darling Lili, Julie Andrews...is still an out and out professional” (Blakley, 6-1).

“Miss Andrews...is absolutely perfectly suited to the title role. Her voice, her mannerisms, her beauty and her obvious delight with the entire project pay off in one of the finest performances of her career” (Fanning, 17).

“The film’s bright moments belong to Miss Andrews. She is a complete entertainer, and tho [sic] she is center stage for nearly the entire film, one never tires of her pure voice and intelligent acting” (Siskel, 12).

Alas, the better-than-expected reviews were not enough to save Darling Lili commercially. By the end of its domestic run, the film had earned a meagre $3.2mill in rentals, placing it 37th in Variety’s list of annual box-office rankings for 1970 (“US Films,” 184). Instructively, the film posted its best returns at the two theatres where it was exhibited with some modicum of prestige showmanship: the Cinerama Dome and Radio City Music Hall. In the case of the latter, Lili actually broke house records for a non-holiday release (“Radio City,” 12). Combined, these two venues accounted for over a third of the film’s entire North American boxoffice grosses. It’s a curious footnote to the whole sorry saga of Darling Lili which does suggest that, while the film would likely never have been a hit, it could certainly have done much better had its distribution and exhibition been more carefully managed. But that is a discussion for another time and another post...

Sources:

Bart, Peter. Infamous Players: A Tale of Movies, the Mob (and Sex). New York: Hachette, 2011.

Benchley, Peter. “1969 A Watershed Year for Motion Picture Industry.” Journal Gazette. 6 January 1970: 9.

Blakley, Thomas. “Julie Andrews Eyes a New Start.” Pittsburgh Press. 28 June 1970: 6-1.

Browning, Norma Lee. “Hollywood Today: Julie’s Reception.” Chicago Tribune. 22 June 1970: B-13.

Caen, Herb. “It’s News to Me.” Hartford Sentinel. 5 August 1970: 6-B.

Canby, Vincent. “Is Hollywood in Hot Water?” New York Times. 9 November 1969: D1, D37.

Champlin, Charles. “Movie Review: ‘Darling Lili’ Has World War I Setting.” Los Angeles Times. 24 June 1970: IV-1, 13.

Crittenden, John. “’Darling Lili’ Surprises by Being Very Pleasant.” The Record. 24 July 1970: D-10.

“’Darling Lili’ to Premiere in Hollywood June 24.” Boxoffice. 25 May 1970: W2.

“’Darling Lili’s’ One Reserve Seat Date.” Variety. 3 June 1970: 7.

Dick, Bernard F. Engulfed: The Death of Paramount Pictures and the Birth of Corporate Hollywood. Louisville, KY: University of Kentucky Press, 2015.

Fanning, Win. “The New Film: Andrews, Hudson in ‘Darling Lili’ at Squirrel Hill.” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 25 June 1970: 17. 

Farber, Stephen. “End of the Road?” Film Quarterly. 23: 2. Winter 1969-70: 3-16.

Geurink, Bob. “Julie’s Pretty Darling in ‘Lili’.” Atlanta Constitution. 11 July 1970: 6-T.

Gussow, Mel. “Excitement Fills Premier of ‘Dolly’: But Air of Festivity Belies Future of Movie Musicals.” New York Times. 18 December 1969: 62.

Higham, Charles. “Turmoil in Film City.” Sydney Morning Herald - Weekend Magazine. 25 May 1969: 19.

Holston, Kim R. Movie Roadshows: A History and Filmography of Reserved-Seat Limited Showings, 1911-1973. Jefferson, NC: McFarlane and Co, 2013.

Kanfer, Stefan. “Cinema: Quarter Chance.” Time. 96: 4. 27 July 1970: 78.

“Kansas City.” Boxoffice. 22 December 1969: C2.

Knight, Arthur. “How Darling was My Lili.” Saturday Review. 18 July, 1970: 22.

Krämer, Peter. The New Hollywood: From Bonnie and Clyde to Star Wars. London: Wallflower, 2005.

Manners, Dorothy. “The Most Maligned Movie Ever.” San Francisco Examiner. 15 March 1970: B5.

Mills, James. “Why Should He Have it?” Life. 7 Match 1969: 63-76.

Muir, Florabel. “Hollywood: It Snowed Customers.” Daily News. 21 December 1969: 2S.

“Not Ready for Trades But Exhibs See ‘Lili’.” Variety. 28 January 1970: 6.

Oldham, Gabriella, ed. Blake Edwards: Interviews. Jackson: University of Mississippi Press, 2018.

“Par Gets Hall’s Summer Spot for its ‘Darling Lili’.” Variety. 21 January 1970: 3.

“Para. Sets Preview Series in Five Cities for ‘Lili’.” Boxoffice. 26 January 1970: 10.

“Paramount’s Summer Playoff Strategy: 5,000 Bookings for Eight Major Films.” Variety. 3 June 1970: 5.

“Par’s Big Roadshow Splash.” Variety. 25 June 1969: 3.

“Par’s Lili Rated G.” Variety. 24 September 1969: 5.

“Premiere.” Los Angeles Times. 25 June 1970: IV-8.

“Radio City Music Hall’s All-Time Boxoffice Darling.” Variety. 5 August 1970: 12.

Sar, Ali. “Paramount Unveils Two Top Pictures.” Van Nuys News. 21 June 1970: 24-A.

Sar, Ali. “Curiosity Films: Plagued Studios Hope.” Van Nuys News. 28 June 1970: 4-B.

Siskel, Gene. “The Movies: ‘Darling Lili’.” Chicago Tribune. 22 August 1970: 12.

Sloane, Leonard. “At Paramount, Real Financial Drama.” New York Times. 28 November 1969: 48.

Stewart, Perry. “Warm Kiss from ‘Lili’.” Fort-Worth Star-Telegram. 1 Juy 1970: 28.

Stuart, Byron. "Pictures: Big Budget’s Big Bust-Up." Variety. 23 July 1969: 3, 20.

Taylor, Robert. “‘Lili’ Can Be Charming.” Oakland Tribune. 27 June 1970: 21-E.

Thomas, Bob. “Julie Andrews Praises ‘Lili’.” Courier-News. 15 September 1970: 13.

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Warga, Wayne. “Stanley Jaffe: Paramount Risk Jockey.” Los Angeles Times. 24 January 1971: C1, C20-21.

Wasson, Sam. A Splurch in the Kisser: The Movies of Blake Edwards. Middletown: Weslayan University Press, 2009.

Wedman, Les. “The End of the Roadshow.” Vancouver Sun. 9 January 1970: 7A.

Copyright © Brett Farmer 2020

[shannendoherty-fans]

Shannen in Love

People, 11th October 1993

By Tom Gliatto

Nobody Does It Quicker: Apparently on the Spur of An Unguarded Moment, Volatile 90210 Star Shannen Doherty, 22, Weds Ashley Hamilton, 19

No question that Shannen Doherty, 22, volatile, voluble Hollywood wild child, has had a headline year or so. There was her engagement to Chicago real-estate manager Chris Foufas, later canceled. A much-publicized bar fight with a wannabe actress, Bonita Money. A threatened eviction by her landlord, who claimed she had skipped on $11,000 in rent. And most memorably, a plea for court-ordered protection by her subsequent ex-fiancé, Dean Factor, who charged she had pulled a gun on him and "threatened to hire a few guys to beat me and to sodomize me" on his front lawn. What, possibly, could Doherty do for an encore?

How about a spur-of-the-moment, no-parents-invited, B.Y.O.B. wedding to a guy she had known for two weeks? On Sept. 24, Beverly Hills, 90210's unpredictable star married her brand-new boyfriend, Ashley Hamilton, 19, the son of actor George Hamilton and his first wife, Alana Stewart, in the backyard of her rented Santa Monica Mountain home. Details are sketchy, but so, apparently, was the ceremony. Close friends and family, most of whom were not asked to share the moment, seemed stunned. Shannen's mother, Rosa Doherty, a beauty-salon manager who lives in Los Angeles, said simply that she and her husband, Tom, a mortgage consultant, were happy as long as Shannen was happy. "Shannen wanted to keep it private and personal," she said. "That's all I want to say."

Others were perhaps more candid. "I have no idea why he would do this," said one of Hamilton's friends. "It's beyond my wildest thoughts. I don't know where this came from."

At first, there was even speculation concerning whether the marriage was legal. "It happened too fast," says Doherty's ex-fiancé Foufas. "I wondered if anyone verified it, if there is a confirmed marriage license." (In fact, says Doherty's publicist, Stan Rosenfield, there is.) Doherty herself sidestepped the issue, flying with Hamilton to New York City on Sunday night to host the Oct. 2 edition of Saturday Night Live. At LAX, in front of a posse of reporters, Hamilton conspicuously played with a gold band on his wedding finger. But Doherty's only comment to the press was a snappish "It's none of your business."

Whatever it was, it started with flowers. On Friday morning, Sept. 24, Shannen called her favorite florist in Los Angeles's Brentwood section. She placed a last-minute request for that evening: six separate arrangements of sunflowers and while flowers mixed. The occasion, the florist says he was told, was that "she was having some guests up."

That same day. she reported to work on the set of 90210. During a break, Doherty approached an art department staffer and asked him to come by that night and help decorate her backyard—for her wedding. "Boy, that was fast," gasped the crew member, who, like others on the set, was aware that Doherty had only begun dating Hamilton within the past month.

"Yeah," Doherty answered, "I just found out this morning."

[On September 26th, Doherty and Hamilton waited together — when not dodging press together — at the L.A. airport for their flight to New York City.]

By sundown, word had somehow zipped through town, and a dozen reporters had staked out Doherty's house on Mulholland Drive. By 9 p.m. a handful of guests arrived and drifted in through the front gates. It was a twentysomething L.A. crowd, from casual to grungy, toting six-packs and snack material. A white wedding cake was carried in atop a cardboard box. None of her 90210 regular castmates appeared—not even Doherty's closest friend, Tori Spelling.

As the assembled few watched, Hamilton and Doherty—who was barefoot and wearing a silk bathrobe—made their way through the backyard along a pathway of burning tiki torches, past bushes draped with twinkling lights and a swimming pool whose rippled surface was speckled with floating candles and sunflowers. "It was kind of a midnight Polynesian thing," says one source. The procession concluded, vows were exchanged, and then, according to Doherty publicist Rosenfield, the couple signed their marriage license in the presence of a notary public.

Yet even with the nuptials concluded, questions remained. Why the rush? Why B.Y.O.B.? Why was that cake so conspicuously exposed to the news cameras? (According to the decorator from 90210, Doherty had no food or drink, except for filtered tap water, on hand for her guests.) Why didn't the couple invite family members or many of their friends? Hamilton père, whose marriage to first wife Alana ended amicably in 1976, just laughed when he talked to longtime Daily Variety Hollywood columnist Army Archerd the following Monday. "I never told my parents when I was married," he said of his wedding to Alana. But Alana, in Texas for a high school reunion, was said to be furious at the turn of events involving her son.

What was known was that the 6'3", 190-lb. Hamilton, a fixture on young Hollywood's party scene, had moved in with Doherty right after meeting her. Until very recently, Shannen had been seeing actor Judd Nelson, 33; interestingly enough, it was through Nelson that she met his friend Hamilton. "I hear that friendship ended," says a Hamilton pal. A friend of Doherty's speculated that, furious over her breakup with Nelson three weeks ago. Shannen impetuously threw herself at Hamilton. Indeed, one 90210 staffer claims that, a week before the wedding, Doherty drove to Las Vegas to see Nelson, who was supposedly there with a former girlfriend.

Others saw the marriage as just another typically bizarre Doherty episode. "This is in the vein of Shannen's wacky life," says one 90210 source. "She's so impulsive." Ex-fiancé Foufas, who talked to Doherty the night before the wedding but was given no hint of it, suggested that the marriage might well be a play for attention on Doherty's part: "You know, she might have thought, 'How can I slump the press now?' " Or, he muses, she might just be looking for a little excitement. "Look at it this way," he says. "Five days a week you get up early and go to the studio until 9 at night. You have no life except what producers make of it. It's possible that they are just two people who are bored. I know that Shannen is bored."

In short, this relationship, all of two weeks old, has the earmarks of the peculiar tango—one two three, one two three, tabloid headline aaaaaand DIP!—the public has come to expect of Doherty and her significant others. But Ashley, who recently completed a stint at a Los Angeles drug rehab clinic, is no stranger to trouble himself. A dyslexic who was enrolled in a special-educational program, Hamilton has said he always hated school. "I spent a lot of time in the principal's office," he said. He graduated from high school in 1991, determined to make a career in showbiz as an actor or a director. In December he will appear in Beethoven's 2nd (the sequel to the hit coined) about a Saint Bernard. A self-described rebel who loves motorcycles, he was involved last year in a near-fatal accident that left him bedridden for two months with 300 stitches in his head.

With his height and dark good looks, he has always appeared more mature than he is. "He does seem older," his mother, Alana, told PEOPLE this year, when he was included in the ranks of 1993's 50 Most Beautiful People. Growing up, she said, "he always hung around older kids." (Plus, he got to grow up in the same household as British rock and roll star Rod Stewart, who was married to Alana from 1979 to 1984.) The same kind of age gap is true of his love life. Before Doherty, he dated actress Claire Stansfield, 28, for more than a year. Summing up their age difference, Stansfield once said. "I had to make him realize Eric Clapton did something before MTV Unplugged."

Today, Stansfield, who spoke to Hamilton by phone soon after the wedding, says she is genuinely happy for the couple. "I think they're perfect for each other,' " she says. "It was funny saying to Ashley, 'Where's your wife?' He said she was in the other room."

Another person who has long been close to the Hamilton family is far less sanguine. "How could he do that and not tell his parents?" she asks. "If he would do that, he no longer is the Ashley I know." In any event, she says with a sigh, "maybe Shannen will make a man of him. Because he's still a boy."

As for Doherty, her friends hope for her were perhaps summed up by Foufas, who nearly married her himself just over a year ago. "All I care about is Shannen being happy," he says. "I don't think she's been a happy person."

[cxrinav]

( cis female & she/her & 24) — Is that Madelyn Cline ? No , that’s Corina Villarreal . They have been living in Kildare for twenty-four years and consider themselves to be a Kook . While they can be considered Deceptive , you know they’re in a good mood when they’re blasting Toxic by Ashnikko . Stay safe . There’s a storm coming . ( ooc info : vee , 21 , she/her , gmt+2 )

b a s i c s : 

.    FULL NAME: Corina Dominique Villarreal 

.    DOB: 29.12.1997

.    ZODIAC SIGN: capricorn 

.    SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual , heteroromantic 

.    ALIGNMENT: chaotic evil 

.    VISUALS & PLAYLIST (tbd.)

b a c k g r o u n d : 

TW: FAMILY DEATH ; FRAUD 

also this is very long because i tend to ramble a lot , so if you don’t feel like reading the whole thing i’ve included a little summary after the background section

born on the side of the island where you need two jobs to barely make it through the month , corina had a humble start . mommy had a small sandwich shop that could barely cover the bills , while dad worked as a fisherman . love for water was inheritable , as only at the tender age of six corina could confidently ride a boat . mommy , as c romantically would always say , was a mermaid -- always in the water and in love with the sealife . they didn’t have much , but it was enough for them to be happy . 

it’s 2007 , and mommy grows sicker by the second . she no longer enjoys the water so much and has a hard time appearing in the shop . dad is worried , because the fisherman money can barely cover mom’s medical bills and is pulling on threads to make the month . in the meantime , corina watches 50 first dates for the hundredth time in the living room , wondering if she hurts her head as bad , maybe the knight in shining armour will appear and shield her from the pain she so masterfully hides when around the men in the charming little trailer they called home . 

months roll by and the nights get warmer . she remembers the day like it was yesterday , when mommy finally rested forever . it was a quiet day in the house . in fact , it was weeks . no one spoke , no one dared to look the other in the eye . the boar near the dock was forgotten and her brothers barely even spoke to her . “ is it because i look so much like her ? “ she asked one day to which her dad preferred not to answer , enjoying the company of the whiskey bottle better than the constant reminder of her wife’s presence rambling next to him . 

the phone rang one day , aunt violet from paris . offering a helping hand , the woman begs daddy to let corina go to her for a few months , she needed a female presence in her life now that she lost the only one she had . he couldn’t afford the plane tickets , but luckily aunt violet was loaded , making corina wonder on the plane why exactly she never called and helped all those years . 

she had only heard stories of aunt violet’s wealth , all until she stepped foot in the lavish apartment in paris . it turns out , aunt violet was a very successful talent hunter , able to make a star out of anyone that had potential . and potential she saw , in corina’s smile , eyes and hair . 

it only took a month for corina to start appearing in fashion magazines . at the age of 11 , she had already made a name for herself . as her legal guardian , daddy was charged with the title of the girl’s  agent . the job , at first , he hated . but once the checks started piling in , he started cashing them out . her brothers were sent out to college , and as for corina and her father , at the age of 12 she was introduced to their new , bigger and better house on the other part of the island -- where you don’t need two jobs to survive but have two boats to ride . 

getting used to the new situation was uncomfortable and painful . she could no longer attend the same school with her friends , instead ‘ kook high ‘ is where she was enrolled as it was where her father believed she belonged to . the humble fisherman turned to a successful agent , all thanks to corina’s success . seeing the stardom the little girl was catapulted in , other new and aspiring models wanted to be represented by the grand and glorious benjamin villarreal . his pogue roots he hid well , making sure corina acted up to par too . they were no longer pogues , with his wife he made sure to bury their poverty too .

worked into a burnout , only thing the now sixteen year old corina wanted was to just hang out with her friends on the other side of the island . her sweet-sixteen birthday was coming up and all she wanted was to celebrate it with the people closest to her . her father , however , had other plans in mind . 

instead of her sweet-sixteen birthday , corina attended her father’s wedding . a day to remember . her breaking point . not only had he forcibly cut her ties with her friends , erased their whole life but he had now replaced the only woman in her life she had ever looked up to . this was war . 

he wanted a kook princess and a kook princess he got . drying out her account was easy -- buying cars , boats and clothes was somewhat of a pleasure , despite her being used to sneakers better than the high heels she purchased daily . getting under her father’s skin , however , was harder . no matter how much she spent , his account would triple and she’d still catch the next flight to wherever they needed her . she did .. until she stopped . 

at the age of twenty , she announces her retirement from the modelling scene , saying she’s had enough and would love to pay more attention to her academics now . daddy did not take it well , despite representing numerous successful faces , the biggest checks would be provided by corina . she returned home that day , only to be welcomed by her father . unbothered , happy , celebrating with his wife and her baby bump . the previously cheerful and bubbly corina would now look at the world with suspicion in her chocolate eyes . everyone was out to get her , in her head , to use her and her family was no different . her brothers would only call if they wanted to meet someone from corina’s popular circle . her father would only smile if he wanted to send her off to hollywood to do a commercial for a brand she despised . so , when she stared at the two with scepticism , she had the full right to do so . 

you see , the once humble fisherman now did not represent even a drop of his usual golden-hearted self . a greedy , miserable man living a polished , sparkling light . so when he clinked his glass of champagne with corina and announced she will no longer have access to her trust-fund until the age of 25 and atop of that will continue working , the smile off her face vanishes . she had a fill a mold , so she can have access to the money she worked for all those years . this was war and she was no longer winning . 

      S U M M A R Y : she was born on the pogue side of the isle , until the age of twelve , when her modeling career sky-rockets and they move out to the kook side . her mother dies when corina is 10 years old and her father turns from a humble fisherman to a successful talent-agent . 

p e r s o n a l i t y : 

corina grew up a very funny , bubbly and lovable little girl . she would always hang around water , make her own puka shell necklaces and would always braid the hair of the neighbouring little kids . after her mother’s death , she became even more loving . making sure to provide love to everyone that needed it , since she barely felt it herself . always giving and always smiling . 

after her career catapulted and her father forced her outside of her comfort zone , the girl became cautious and suspicious . she’d ever talk with people closest to her , would never break a smile to a stranger like she once would . and when her father finally buried everything of their previous lives , an otherwise foreign for her viciousness appears . would stumble upon everyone and everything to get her way and make sure she had secured herself . would rarely offer a helping hand if she doesn’t gain something herself and would never trust someone unconditionally . a lone-wolf , surrounded by hundreds of people . many think she’s their friend , while her heart only longs for the people she forcibly lost . has a few true friends on the kook side of the island , but is suspicious of these people too since she believes everyone is out to use and abuse her . no one is a friend , in her mind , she lives along foes . 

would be her true self when alone . still makes puka shell necklaces on the family’s yacht where no one would see her . breaks a joke or two and would ever laugh wholeheartedly when drunk . attends every event and has tried every intoxicating substance that would help her forget how lonely she really feels .

[toongrrl-blog]

The Mommy Myth: Mouthing Off to Dr. Spock (Part One)

American Motherhood in the 1970s was undergoing a real revolution: the country had a 9% unemployment rate, 15% inflation rate, 18%-20% mortgage rates, and President Ford wanted to whip inflation and the most rapidly growing segment of the workforce was mothers with preschool children (Hi Joan Holloway and Kevin, Hi Joyce Byers and Jonathon and Will). In 1970, 40% of married mothers worked and in 1984, 59% of married mothers worked. In 1970, only 24% of mothers with a child one year old or younger worked and in 1984 that jumped to 46.8% Black married mothers were more likely to be in the workforce than white counterparts (won’t be surprised if Mrs. Sinclair had worked outside the home in contrast to Karen) and single-parent households increased by 79% during the 1970s and 90% were headed by women. 

Back then there were few daycare centers, no maternity leave (paid or unpaid), no flex time, no after-school programs, and not the Family Leave Act (mothers still call in sick to watch a sick child) and the VCR and microwave weren’t widely available. 

“This generation of women, who are now approximately 50 years old and older, who raised kids in the 1970s and beyond--these are the ones who are great. It is because of them that companies even established daycare centers, that there are tax deductions for childcare expenses, that there is maternity and even paternity leave (however paltry), that there are now baby seats in supermarket carts. If you are one of these mothers, and your now grown children are even remotely functioning, stand up and take a bow.” The Mommy Myth (2004), Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels

Media centering on motherhood, from women’s magazines to sitcoms, family films were all frozen in 1957. At the same time there was more research being performed on children and infants, to assist in advice columns for moms raising their kids in different circumstances than their parents raised them. But the columnists were often serving mom guilt and had stay in the kitchen attitudes and sitcom moms hardly got angry with their kids and were always soothing and gentle like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Walton and unlike Flor.

Sitcoms were holding a smaller mom revolution: Maude Findlay (also a grandma), Florida Evans, Ann Romano (the OG One Day at a Time), and Alice Hyatt had feminist inspired barbs at their bratty kids, nosy neighbors, and men while advertisers came out with the supermom. Hollywood mostly focused on alienated young men like Dustin Hoffman and Jack Nicholson while movies targeting women mostly stayed stagnant. 

One movie that focused on the misery of the mid-century housewife as she dealt with being economically dependent on her husband, mindless housework, how she was expected to put her needs and wants on the back burner, and of how men acted like they were so dumb. Diary of a Mad Housewife focused on Tina Balser, a Smith alumni who is married to a man named Richard, who manages to fuse together the worst traits of Ted Wheeler, Lonnie Byers, Pete Campbell, and Don Draper together. He’s an up-and-coming lawyer who preens and condescends and insists his wife cracks ice instead of serving it cubed and dictated Thanksgiving dinner (he doesn’t cook it though) and only wanted Danson Plum preserves on his toast and starts the film complaining about Tina being too skinny and her ability to do things the way he wants and dissed her ability to make a 4 minute egg to their bratty daughters (all the combined bratty traits of Nancy and Mike Wheeler and none of the intelligence, empathy, and passion that drives these characters). 

The lesser known Barbra Striesand vehicle Up the Sandbox opens up with one mother telling another: “I’ve read all the child psych books. To be a good mother you gotta learn to eat shit” (few shit has changed it seems). Based on an novel by Anne Roiphe, the story focuses on Margaret a mother of two who loves her kids but wants to do more than stay home and is....pregnant again. She has wild fantasies that makes Doug Funnie look less...funny like debating with Fidel Castro about the status of women and having a love affair with him and blowing up the Statue of Liberty with Black militants or presumably confronting her husband’s secretary/co-worker if she’s having an affair with him. After they went to a party where busty young women fell over him because he was so interesting and he made a dismissive comment about a female Ph.D candidate who wanted to have one kid and go back to work, is where Margaret tells him off:

A woman like me works twice as hard, and for what? Stretch marks and varicose veins. You’ve got one job, I’ve got ninety-seven. Maybe I should be on the cover of Time---dust mop of the year, queen of the laundry room....(where she can’t live up to his colleagues or her mother) I’m a zero, a nothing” and when he said she can do more and be happy, she tells him off more “Did more? I sew. I squeegee. I spend hours waiting in line for a sale on baby sandals just to save a few pennies...I’m an errand boy, a cook, a dishwasher, a cockroach catcher, and you say I’d be happy if I did more.” Karen, spin that shit!

Women’s magazines had a new challenge: so you gave advice for decades about how moms can beat diaper rash, crochet covers for your toilet seats, and make a birthday cake in the shape of a character your kid liked but now there are sentiments challenging the conventions of marriage and parenthood, what do you do?

In 1973, Redbook magazine had a poll saying 9/10 respondents knew women earned less than men for the same work, 3/4 thought the media degraded women, a large majority believed women were second-class citizens, and 2/3 supported the Women’s Movement. Also more of them were working or joining the workforce, even with small children and more were divorcing and looking for childcare and to pay the bills and wanted a break. The shithead experts said no the latter. 

Mom’s can’t be overprotective but protective enough.

You can’t be over-attentive in your kid’s lives but make them feel loved and always wonderful.

You need them to be independent, but always taken care of.

Can’t be too strict or permissive.

You need to be light-hearted.

Those were the rules many mothers of Gen Xers and Baby Boomers were under (and still the same now). Dr. Spock was singled out, he was the most influential of these experts with his famous book coming out in 1946 (the first year of the Baby Boom) and his advice dominated the magazines in the 1950s and 1960s. He dished out mom guilt for working outside the home or not weaning babies before they were one year olds and that leaving kids with a “mother substitute” would make them needy (so not even date night?). Also you had to be bonding with your kids properly (all while moms were dealing with doctors up against the natural childbirth movement) and even an hour may not be enough. Also normal women were sad when kids weaned themselves off the breast! Any misstep in your kids will fuck them up!

In Part Two, I will go over Bruno Bettelheim and the backlash against the Women’s Movement and the revolution in Motherhood.