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True! As a neurodivergent artist who has gone through times when I literally couldn’t buy enough food (I’m doing alright now don’t worry) I hate the way some well-meaning people frame everything through a survival mode lens. Even when I was doing really badly (and maybe especially then) I valued being goofy online and being able to make someone smile with the stuff I draw, and didn't want everything to revolve around "promoting" my work. Please remember that access to chill online places and friendly, non-monetized interaction is a de-stress method that’s still widely accessible even to many disadvantaged people. Don’t slap it out of people’s hands, don’t blame them for not spending their every waking hour taking care of someone else’s needs, it’s not fair or healthy to expect that. Or at least don’t do it in my name.
"likes do nothing"
wrong
"they literally only send a notification to the op"
first of all this is also wrong; they send a notification to the op and the person whose blog you saw it on
but nitpicking aside, yes? That's what they do? That's what they're there for? They let you know that someone liked your post?
what they don't do, unlike similar functions on other sites, is make it more likely that other people will see your post. And like if you're an artist (of whatever kind) who is mostly or only on tumblr to promote your work, and your only goal is to get it in front of as many people as possible, then yeah, maybe likes do nothing for you
(note: I regularly buy stuff from artists on here, and I reblog commissions posts and shop updates and stuff when I see them. I am not the enemy here!)
but like, not every feature on every website is going to be useful to every user, and that's okay! If I make a mildly amusing text post, and I see "skrinklyscrungus and 5 other users liked your post", then I know I made six strangers on the internet laugh! If I reblog a picture of a rainbow-colored dinosaurs and all my gay dinosaur-loving mutuals like it, then I am hanging out with my friends and looking at cool shit together!
and that is what I am mostly here for.
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tumblrs being transphobic, with the ceo himself starting an actual harassment campaign against a transfem & also banning transfems who post abt it.
Oh shit, I had not heard about that.
I would like to say I don’t understand why this shit keeps happening, but I actually do understand it way too well. It just makes me so sad and angry. Especially on a site where people find and make their communities.
So much of this is about ego, and the people with power wielding that power to protect themselves and failing to protect others with it. A mere hint of negative sentiment towards them is harassment that is dealt with immediately and harshly, but a dozen complaints about discrimination or threats or bullying take ages to process and frequently come to unsatisfactory moderation decisions.
Whatever the sentiments of the people running this hellsite, you are always welcome in my corner of the internet, wherever you find it. You are all wonderful, and we all deserve to feel that part of this space belongs to us and those to whom we can connect.
Transphobia has no place on tumblr, period. Or anywhere else in society for that matter. It is that which should be being rooted out.
#this is not related to herpetology#except that it is#because trans rights as well as those of every other member of LGBTQ+ affect every field#every fandom#every one#this is the first time ever I have written out a long tag rant and decided it needed to go into the main body of the post instead#meaning I had to type the whole thing again because you cannot easily copy and paste large numbers of tags#But I think it is important to see the full message from the start#rather than relying on someone else to screencap it#which I always appreciate#but not everyone always sees#anyway I am sorry especially to those in the community who are trans and who feel this most acutely#I stand with you#and I think the bulk of the community here does too#and that voice is something the leaders need to listen to#virtue signalling is not enough#actions speak louder than words#okay real tags now for searchability purposes:#about me#tumblr#trans issues#transphobia#transgender
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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So come fill up your glasses of brandy and wine / Whatever it costs I will pay / So be easy and free, when you're drinking with me / I'm a man you don't meet every day...
#em draws stuff#oc time again hehe#haunted by your hand#the gambler: james webster#the highwayman: kate heriot#bweirdOCtober#ROLESWAP TIME!!! ALIVE KATE GHOST JAMES TIME WOOOOOO#I cannot emphasize enough that this is Equally bad as the previous situation if not actively worse#the main change this actually causes is a Sharp Uptick in the amount of partying going on in the story#if james is a morose melancholic drunk then kate is a Wild and Messy drunk. and leaving her to run the inn does not economy make.#people are absolutely getting murdered for their money every night but what's important is that this is now also a Party Place#but you stumble away from the noise and light for a moment and. oh. Oh god what Is that.#man you don't meet every day (from which the caption lyrics are taken) is Thee kate song of all time by the way#also what gave kate the dubious honor of being my only character with a voiceclaim. yes she sounds like cait o'riordan.#the version sung by her is such a particular gender that works so nicely with whatever is going on with kate#my horrible babygrill :) my daughter with a thousand faults :)
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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Reservation Dogs | Season 3 (2023), Sterlin Harjo and Taika Waititi
#reservation dogs#rezdogsedit#beautiful season#beautiful show#i was kind of baffled for a minute than in a season so focused on building community#our four main rez dogs were almost always separated#going on their own adventures and growing#but of course this was integral in them opening up to a larger community#they're still gonna be super important to each other but they have a much more solid connection to everyone else now#and bonds strong enough that they can decide to leave without escaping#tv shows i watched in 2023#i made this#i just want a tag for the things i personally put out into the world
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time for a jamie and co LORE POST!!!! here's them with their (immediate) families. all the actual lore and such below
JAMIE: only child with a single mom. since furries in this universe can only have kids within their taxonomic families, adoption is really common among smaller families like prionodontidae. however jamie's mom erica really wanted a bio kid, so she ended up marrying another linsang who she liked... well enough, but not that much. they get divorced when jamie's a little kid. she had jamie at an older age; by the time he's in college her markings have already started greying, which is why she looks a little dull next to him. nowadays she works as a teacher and she loves her son vewy much :3
SANTIAGO: santiago is the only one in the main cast with different species parents. cross-species kids are just the species of either parent with a 50/50 chance cus i don't feel like dealing with hybrids... HOWEVER sometimes genetic fuckshit happens. because of said genetic fuckshit, santiago grew to a cow size instead of a sheep size. i couldn't fit all the family relations shit on the actual image but emilio is santiago's OLDER brother (hes 25) but people always assume hes younger because santiago is a giant. magnolia and amapola are twins and both 8. mariana is either a teacher or a librarian (haven't figured it out yet) but she used to paint when she had more free time which is how santiago got interested in painting and eventually went into fine arts. jorge is a plumber and emilio is a graphic designer. santiago is the first in the family to leave their hometown (key west) for a degree (emilio went to a local college) and his mom + sisters were SOOOOOOOOOO SAD so he comes home to visit as often as he can. also since he is in family bovidae he has several cousins/aunts and uncles/etc that are different species. all i know for sure is that one of them lives near jamie and co's college and is some sort of antelope (leaning towards bongo bc i like them). also using this poast to announce that i changed santiagos outfit here is his new cute flowers and bees sweater look
JOHNNY: her family works on a chicken (and other assorted birds) farm, the chickens are for both eggs and meat while the other birds are just for eggs. this is actually a common set-up in the dorian furryverse, it's hard to farm livestock as a carnivore (because all the livestock are deathly afraid of you) so herbivores usually do the job even if they can't actually eat what they farm. johnny's parents are sorta "confused but got the spirit" about her being a butch lesbian. jimmy is an ass about it but he gets better. shoutout to this horse color calculator for helping me figure out which coat colors were plausible for them
NULL: null has an older brother and does not talk to their parents. sakichi is six years older than null and they were never very close; their parents treated sakichi as the "successful" child and null as the "problem" child. they're also quite conservative. null realized they were agender in high school but stayed closeted at home, they planned to come out to their parents immediately once they got to college and were able to support themselves. something happens that instead makes them come out a few days after their graduation and they get kicked out. null doesn't know where to go and ends up living at johnny's farm for the summer before college (sakichi lives far away doing some tech job and so can't take them in). the clantons are basically null's family at this point. once null legally changes their name they remove their last name entirely (it probably says X on their documents just cus there has to be SOMETHING there). sakichi and null see each other very occasionally, and sakichi still talks to their parents, but only when absolutely necessary. it's not malicious, he'd just feel too guilty cutting himself off from them completely
ARGYLE: argyle is an only child with well-off parents, his mom is a lawyer and his dad is a quirky ancient history professor. his parents are like EXTREMELY doting so they were secretly kinda glad that he came back home so they could see him more often. argyle was really scared that they would hate him for going into a less stable field, but his parents love him to death and are ready to support him in whatever. suzanne was probably a nightmare at pta meetings i'll be so real
#my art#my ocs#dorian furryverse#jamie and co#jamie#santiago#johnny#null#argyle#furry#doodles#2024#i dont feel like giving tags to literally everyone here so they just go under the main characters' tags#SORRY THE LORE IN THIS POST ESP REGARDING NULL IS SO IMPORTANT. BUT I KEPT IT IN THE DRAFTS FOR THREE MONTHS#BC I COULDNT FIGURE OUT SANTIAGO AND ARGYLES FAMILYS DESIGNS. i feel like you can tell i drew those last LOL#also emilio is lowkey just me using my baadeca design and changing the palette bc i like it enough to use for oc stuff#and he gets danny gonzalez esque gray hairs cus its sexy.#god willing the next thing i post will be a comic with argyle and null that i have also. had drafted since april. oops
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alright, enough polls focused on the main adventure time characters, we all know marceline is sweeping them
i misspelled lady rainicorn but it's ok we'll live
#talk#cartoons#adventure time#i was going to include a few of these but decided having all of them together actually evens it out#i love betty and prismo but at this point in time i think i gotta give it to peppermint butler...#this is actually so much harder than picking between the main characters for me LOLL#also sorry if any of these are weird picks i still haven't watched most of the show LOL the criteria here was#important and around enough to be relevant; but not a main charafter nor minor character#as well as relevant enough among 12 options#for example i thought of including abracadaniel but he's not as important as say huntress wizard#even though she also doesn't have a lot of screentime#maybe i should'e combined him and magic man for fun
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saw someone on twitter say "one of the main characters in a loki show should have been thor odinson, not some random Sylvie or Mobius.
...... It's like a written law"
wdyt do you agree
I don't think it was necessary to make Thor a main character in a Loki show, the same way it WOULD be possible to throw together a Thor movie without having Loki be a main focus.
The issue comes in the quality of the narrative itself, and writing that if evidently without intention to care for (whichever) main character's importance will not work out. Neither the Loki series nor Thor 4 cared about the arc, motivations, history, or continuity of the titular characters beyond trying to make the media marketable.
Overall messaging can add a layer to the impact a story will have. Musical score can be a bonus way to control tone or tie a story together. Supporting cast can be vital to tell a good story. Prioritising their presence over anyone's (especially Loki's) characterisation is what the Loki series suffered from, not that other, original-adjacent characters were there.
#i'd say it was tell not show but frankly the plotline was so poorly done i don't think showing would have helped#it would have solidified the side characters better though#if they had put effort into characterising Loki right then poorly done side characters could've been a non-issue#messing up the main characters which are supposed to be part of a continuity is the number 1 issue#not managing the screen-time well was the number 2 issue#too much time wasted setting up characters that were going to monologue about their importance anyway??#too much time spent trying to establish the TVA as something important and controlling but somehow good#so much could have been cut out of the show and still gotten all that across#the relationships people built did so in like 2 days in-universe iirc so i wouldn't call them solid#season 1 was a useless introductory setup for the multiverse that didn't have any impact because there were like 4 other setups#scrap the characterisation and call it a reboot and it still threw Loki out as a weak and completely conventional protagonist#that's not engaging when every other character is also boring overall#even if their concepts weren't boring the way it was done was#The Loki Show#i can't be bothered thinking about the show because there's just so much#where would one start#i don't care enough about it to hate the show but i did find the fight choreography lacking too#the camera angles and general videography wasn't good#i have the same complaints about the choreography with every other disney+ show they put out#not even bothered with the MCU frankly#i'm happy to pretend the movies stopped after phase 2
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thinking about the whole twt scam situation ™ again ough
#monolith mumbles#gonna rant for a min#like main situation sorted fine#then boom 27 yr old mutual of op comes crawling out the woodworks#i did ask a silly question which i apologized for twice and reiterated TWICE. and they then kept yapping and arguing 💀#like erm i think calling an autistic person braindead at ur big age is weird actually#''omfg are you braindead this is a common scam get it through your thick skulls'' first im a tumblr main. second it clearly isnt common#enough considering op got scammed💀#and i still think im justified being put off that nobody (excluding op) noticed the glaring differences in the accounts 💀 and how it was#up for 10+ hours with no one noticing 💀#along with that they tried to frame it like i thought op had it out for me then said i wasnt important enough for someone to target me#because my twt acc has like 300 followers which. clearly i was because the scammer used my art💀#again twenty fucking seven. 27 DOING ALL THIS#after my final reply i ignored my twt main for like 2 days. which someone else replied saying something that started with#''all this happened because you'' then i just blocked them today before reading the rest. and just blocked everyone involved#like if ur mutual is 27 behaving like this i do nawt want to have any interaction with you at all soz. i also didn't get any priv apologies#instead they were pushing how they were innocent and not accusing anyone of being guilty which. its like you were a min ago#u were accusing ME💀 go d#me miffed about not getting priv apologies is me being petty but im 5'4 im never the bigger person so#I'll stay petty actually#anyway blocked all of them for my own piece hope op gets $60 back somehow but i also want 0 interaction based on their oomf
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would people be interested if i like. wrote up a timeline for the cyberpunk extended blorboverse to quickly bring you guys up to date (sorta) with what's going on in there. i know i still have to finish the powerpoint AND the wiki but i feel like typing out a timeline is. a lot quicker
#personal#i'll probably use my taglist for it because i feel like enough people Know Of the cyberponk extended blorboverse?? but like#i started that fic for cassidy ages ago and can't get myself to finish it anyway so maybe just a timeline would work better#there's a LOTTTT of content to go over though i mean andy and i are currently in fucking 2085 LMFAO#but like. especially everything up to the creation of club bodytalk... that's the important shit. and then there's a bunch of like#extra stories from that moment on but that's a lot easier to follow when you know the main lore
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Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.
Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).
#my art#my ocs#ft the irises#tw suicide#tw ableism#sh e the yello one. can you tell she's thematically yellow?#as i don't care about 'spoilers' anymore because i'm doubtful i'll ever get to finish my writing stuff i'll just dump my writing hangup her#i think she's probably about 18 here (physically)#beware the in the tags plot includes suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope)#Bud's voice specifically is tricky.. as Vera (the ghost) left her body (bud) when she was 10.#And vera took all knowledge (memories and words and thoughts) with her when she left.#and bud had to start mentally from scratch after rising from the dead. thus being interpreted as a 'zombie' sort of monster#Vera hatess Bud as hate of the self/ hate of the physical/ hate of the unintelligent (vera is in the wrong here. but she's complicated)#((lol can you tell why vera named herself that haha))#i want her to prompt characters/people to reininvestigate how they think of 'brainless zombie' tropes in relation to ableism but--#but i am doubtful of my writing ability and should probably change what i have going on to something less risky#originally when i was 12 and i first made them all bud was purely a chaotic antagonist. and i have def moved past that#12 yr old me expressing my suicidal idealization by having Vera absolutely hate her old body#and bud (formerly xqi for askew iris in middle/high school) being the body that was rightfully thrown away#but now that i'm past that all.. i need to make bud a character that can actually take up just as much importance as the other 3 irises#do i have the writing skills to do that? who knows.. Bud isn't even a 'main character' the way vera is. should i still try?#even if i never wind up trying and this conundrum stops me forever.. at least these blorbos can live in my head u_u#might delete the tag rant later if i feel self conscious enough about it :/#shrugs profusely#any suggestions are welcome. join me in untangling this gordion knot if u want ashdfhasdfjldf
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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3
#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people#going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry#but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad#sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man#i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did#i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space#with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it#and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that#so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also#that parts important#idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to#what how people who have really been abused have had to go through#but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective#not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here#bc that shit is a whole other can of worms#i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE#anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro#like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3#i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend#winter speaks
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hi would you mind tellin me what ed ward was like? i might have to go there at some point and im scared also sorry if im phrasing it wrong and also also if you're more comfy dming or not answering at all thats fine
Hi yes I can!! And you can dm me if you want or send another ask if you have more questions :)
So there’s two kinds of 24-hour ED care, inpatient and residential. Inpatient is usually inside of a hospital, sometimes integrated with the psych ward (hence “ed ward”). This is where people that aren’t medically stable go (think serious heart conditions, people who flat-out refuse to eat, people who need to be in a locked ward to be safe). I haven’t been to inpatient ed, so I can’t say much on that subject. I do know that you typically stay in inpatient much shorter than residential.
I was in residential for four months. Usually ED treatment takes longer than treatment for depression and such and it’s not uncommon for people to go into residential more than once, but it’s pretty rare for residential to last more than six months. It’s expected that you’ll do a step-down plan which means after you leave res you’ll do a PHP and an IOP (PHP is when you live at home but go to programming during the day, usually 40-60hrs a week with all meals there, and IOP is usually half a day 2-3 times a week).
My res was three houses in a neighborhood (not in a row) and we would all go to the biggest house during the day. There was usually 2-3 group therapy sessions and 2-3 classes (DBT skills, nutrition, etc) per day, every day (inc weekends). We spent the rest of our time doing leisure stuff and eating.
Meals took up a HUGE portion of the day because we got half an hour for each meal, and then there was another half hour for supplements, plus 15 minutes for snacks and 15 minutes for snack supplements, so that amounts to… 4.5 hours every day. The way meals worked was each person got their own plate, to their own needs (some people got tiny amounts bc refeeding, some people got huge amounts bc restoration, etc). You got to choose 3 blacklisted foods that they would never give you, other than that if you didn’t like the food you had to suck it up. I chose spicy food, eggplant, and I think peanut butter? Because being vegetarian didn’t count (though I told them I was vegan instead because I was scared of milk😔). If you didn’t finish your food you got supplemented - 1/2 a sup for eating 3/4 but not finishing, one sup for 1/2-3/4, and two supps for eating less than half. Our supps were Kate Farms unless you had other dietary restrictions; I got switched to ensure clear halfway through because I went on a Kate Farms boycott to get it haha, WORTH IT ensure clear I love you. You had to sit at supps table for the whole half hour or until you finished it (it was a socially-acceptable choice to just sit there for half an hour). If you didn’t drink your sup you lost privileges for the next day, but unless you’d been there for a few months you didn’t actually *have* any, so… privileges were going on our daily 10 minute walk, the weekly strip mall field trip, and if you were VERY LUCKY going to the bathroom with the door closed. During meals there were a lot of blacklisted topics because yknow. Bad Time Let’s Be Nice. If you weren’t eating staff would gently encourage you but wouldn’t be mean about it, and the other patients would too. It’s pretty hard to fake eating there, but not impossible, and definitely impossible to do it without other patients seeing (because we all watched each other eat So Closely and we know all our tricks…) and other patients ratting you out is a definite possibility. You weren’t allowed to leave the table during meals but sometimes it happens. If you didn’t eat for two days they sent you to inpatient (they couldn’t actually force you to eat in res, but in IP they can tube you).
In our free time we all got really close. Everybody had a roommate and we slept in real bedrooms with our own bathrooms (which we could only use at night, they were locked during the day). A lot of us crocheted, there was lots of reading and coloring. We were allowed an hour of screen time, including TV, a day but that was taken away if you were Really Bad (think screaming fit not like “didn’t eat fear food”). If you were still in high school you were expected to do that (online) during free time (which was also a ticket to unlimited computer time during free time lolol, same with AA). The people you go to res to become like a weird version of your family, you’re together for months with ONLY each other doing something very emotionally taxing, so like within the first few days boom you now have 15 new best friends. It’s also very insular in that there are trends? Within your res? I started a rock painting trend, and also pestered staff enough that they finally let us garden (this was just me gardening and everyone else reading in the yard). Everybody listened to top 50 pop even if they hated it, because at res you like it (I’m very attached to billboard pop 2021 still), we all watched every Keanu Reeves movie because it’s funny to say that you have (none of us even liked him that much).
At res everything is funny because everything’s so bad? It’s this sort of delirious sheen that takes over everything, like looking at the world through a soap bubble. That said I was also on the maximum dose of seroquil. Everyone’s super supportive, not like the movies. If they didn’t actually want to recover they didn’t say anything about it.
Staff there consisted of three types: the babysitters (I don’t know their real titles), mostly college girls who babysat us and ran the houses, the therapists/psychiatrists who ran groups and did individual therapy, and the nurses. There was a nurse on staff until 11 every night, because we all had hot girl stomach issues and sometimes hot girl heart problems. They took blood once a week and there was a doctor that saw you once a month or if you complained about something long enough. The babysitters were all really nice though some were less pushover-y than others (let you stay on computer longer etc). They said they did room sweeps once a week but I had contraband they never found. They also said we weren’t allowed to touch each other for more than five seconds at a time (I am the reason that rule exists haha) but like… you have a roommate for a reason!! (I’m not even talking about sex I just mean snuggling ;-;)
In terms of visitors you mostly only got your parents or if you were married your spouse, maaaybe somebody’s friends came once? But not common. You’re not allowed alone time with your visitors (like prison!) and anything they give you has to be searched by staff (same as stuff you order online or buy on the strip mall field trips). A lot of rules are very very strict because people with eating disorders are masters at worming their way out of things which sucks but makes sense.
There were some unsavory things that happened to me there that I’d like not to talk about here, just know that when you go, it’s very possible for staff to lie to your parents/caretakers to the point that they don’t believe you. It is very hard to leave once you check yourself in, and if you do leave before they let you, that’s called AMA and your insurance won’t pay for the part of your stay you did already (which for me was $2k a day. For four months). Once you go there you’ve basically handed over your rights indefinitely to the program in exchange for learning how to eat good and not die. Which is better than dying but not amazing either, but that’s the way it is.
Some other unintended side effects:
1. If you were scared of blood draws before you went in you won’t be when you come out.
2. You’ll be able to pee anywhere no more pee shyness. Along those lines we had to describe our shit every morning to the nurse in earshot of everybody? So you won’t be embarrassed about that any more.
3. You might forget to close the bathroom door the first few months you’re home.
4. You’ll become very attached to some foods in res and then when you get out can never eat those foods again. For me that’s biscoff cookie butter.
5. You’ll be WAY less on your phone. You’ll know how to sit and wait instead of going on your phone immediately for entertainment.
All in all I’d say you get more freedom than the locked ward and less freedom than rehab, but stay longer than both of them combined. Fellow patients are awesome, staff is a mostly positive mixed bag, and activities are dismal (eating).
I wish you so much luck in recovery. You can do this! Every meal is a new beginning. I believe in you!
A funny for you for making it this far:
#ALSO I didn’t want to put this in the main body bc it’s a lil dreary but if you relapse that is SO OKAY that doesn’t mean you should lose y#your support network or are a bad person or not trying hard enough. everyone relapses. that’s okay. the important part is that you keep goi#going and don’t give up!#BEST OF LUCK!!! you’ll be in my prayers!!!#Ed tw#psych ward tw
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"Scarf/veil worn over the elbows" - like Aqua in Konosuba? Yeah, what is that? Seems tonbe associated with holy/divine characters, so maybe it's referencing some religious art?
In reference to my tags on this post.
They don't always seem to draw her with it, so for a minute I thought you were talking about those detached sleeves, LOL
But yes, exactly!
I actually had a dream, and while it was tangential, one element was an ancient aliens esque theory, that angels/gods were real beings, because of the consistency of this sash/stole/shawl/ribbon thing shown in art across the world.
Unfortunately for the theorists in my dream, we actually know pretty well how it went.
The ancient Romans just really liked showing deities framed by a billowing garment, "Velificatio ... represents 'vigorous movement,' an epiphany, or 'the vault of heaven,' often appearing with celestial, weather, or sea deities."
The etymology is roughly "setting sail", and Pliny the Elder describes a wind god as "Making a sail of her garment."
I sometimes call it a veil because well, the Japanese version is always really diaphanous, but as you can see in the wikipedia article, it's sometimes associated with initiations into mystery religions, where it's related to the veil or shroud Romans would put over their dead, so removing it symbolized rebirth, and (stretching a little here) it billowing around someone showed them as near but aside from death.
It's shown a lot of ways (there's this little known painting called Birth of Venus from the 15th century, check out Zephyrus in it), but, well, here's Neptune from the 3rd century:
Familiar, huh?
Art meets silk road, and a sash becomes really popular in depictions of celestial, flying apsaras:
I think this guy's from 500ce or so.
The cloth itself doesn't really have a name, but in Japan the tennin (lit, heavenly people, analogous to angels) wear hagoromo (feathered rainment) that they sometimes need to fly.
Here's a guy doing a selkie to one. "Marry me or you'll never return to the heavens."
As you can see, a hagoromo (center) includes this exact windy sash, but there's also more to it.
I don't really have a conclusion, but thanks for the ask, prompting me to retrace my path learning about it.
#qa#long post#words#konosuba#I feel like this one is basically sorted; as much as the immortal me would love to spend a decade getting a degree in art history#but I still enjoy finding examples#though it's less important than my vampire and head wing fixation#even though we have decent tracks on them too#vampires with direct blood draw teeth have probably been invented multiple times#and a lot of old depictions also had them with a leech or mosquito *tongue*#but the novel dracula draws a *lot* of parallels between vampires and the then-new-medical-technology of blood transfusion#stoker seems to actually be the main origin for big prominent fangs#ditto for no reflection actually though it's probably based on many legends where they have no shadow#head and hip wings seem to have been brought to the attention of japan by go nagai; but we see depictions of that as old as#well as old as velificatio actually; but only on seraphim who covered their faces hands and feet with their wings#so a bunch of artists naturally drew the face covering wings as coming from the head#I liked this enough I'm going to reblog myself tomorrow
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#operaposting#eugene onegin#the problem with this prod/interpretation is that lensky simply doesn't occupy enough of the story to be the most major part of it#and tatiana is considerably more important#add that to the fact that they're making an abridged version and what happens is that many of the cuts are the seemingly unimportant parts#that actually have a lot of significance textually for tatiana#who if you're looking at the original text is really more of a main character than even onegin himself#like i love lensky but a production of onegin that focuses on lensky doesn't function as well imo#IDEALLY if you're going to go that direction using sexuality to show that the characters aren't showing their true personalities#and are instead acting out manufactured personas for social approval#then i would prefer that tatiana also be included because there is a lot of opportunity there#literally the entire part about her marrying a rich prince that she doesn't care about. is about that.#i'm not saying that she should be gay but her rejection of her sexuality for social approval is like. actually in the text.#OR at least you have naked cowboys during the polonaise like warlikowski. that's camp. i like it#tldr of course onegin and lensky fucked nasty that's not the point of the show though
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