#implied selfharm

[yanderelovebites]

Trigger warning: grooming, selfharm, SA, implied underage (17)

Also implied Christian Reader just in case

R-baby neglected batsis plot dump—I honestly just kept typing until I couldn’t think further lol

Yandere brothers, Bruce isn’t Yandere just mentally unstable

I saw someone write about a ‘what if Bruce was groomed and he protects the kids from same groomers’ post and it inspired me for a plot of Neglected Batsis.

Same idea, Bruce is groomed but by an older woman when he was still rather young and she got pregnant with his kid. Never admits it’s his because she was just manipulating Bruce and when it’s obvious she’s his because of her features and such, Bruce is thrown with the child. You’d think the woman would face justice but no, she’s wealthy too so she uses the corrupt justice system to just have to pay out and she isn’t allowed to see her baby.

That’s why batsis is neglected. She came from something so horrific he can’t look at her, he can barely call her his daughter. For him, she’s just a reminder. It leads Alfred to taking care of her and at first… she doesn’t question it because the first few years she’s young. A kid.

Then Dick who is older than her by some years comes in the picture. Freshly lost his parents, she tried to connect to the best of her five year old ability but she’s only five. She doesn’t understand death or loss. She doesn’t even connect herself to her own father. He snaps at her and she doesn’t try again.

The neglect never seems to end even at events. She’s left alone when she’s old enough to go but that brings problems. No one protects her. At some point the people targeting her get bolder. The worst part? Her mother would by this time would no longer be pushed out thanks to the court mandated restraining order expiring and she’s not necessarily targeting her, but is definitely encouraging her friends to.

Batsis would endure this silently until Jason finds out. It would start as him thinking Damian struck her again with his katana and he’d confront Damian about the rules. Damian would obviously deny and say she probably was being clumsy or something. Damian would have been very dismissive at first as he didn’t see his older half sister as important, their father doesn’t even like talking about her. It’s like she’s just a picture he doesn’t want to look at , but feels obligated to keep up. Jason keeps eyes on her and continues his interrogation over to Tim because he has a bad feeling.

Tim would suggest bringing it up to Alfred, getting annoyed with Jason for worrying over someone he sees as a bum, someone he sees as a worthless person in the house. He long tuned anything about her out, he doesn’t know anything about her currently. He doesn’t know her hobbies, her grades, her dreams or goals, hell he doesn’t even know she participates in charity work like volunteering at the local soup kitchens or what she’s doing on these ‘trips’ she goes on every once in a while.

Jason would ignore him and try Dick next, who by his adulthood would have a sense of guilt for his actions when he was younger, but was never able to move himself to apologize to batsis. It’s also very easy to forget her. Dick would say he hasn’t noticed anything new, and after hearing Damian also denied doing anything Dick goes with Jason to ask Alfred about it.

Alfred’s hand would twitch. Much like Bruce was a son to him, he couldn’t help but get a similar attachment to Batsis. Sure, Bruce chose to keep her and provide her what she needs, but Alfred was the one to raise her. In many ways he would never voice, he was more her father than Bruce. When he hears the news, he’s reminded of that time when her mother had ruined Bruce. He would try to approach this to her, but she’d deny deny deny, just like her father did.

He’d later try to discuss it with Bruce who also dismisses it as soon as he mentions her name. He didn’t want to know, he didn’t even get to tell him why he brought her up—no idea it was about her wellbeing. Jason would check in next time he visits and be pissed off hearing she wouldn’t say a damn thing and Bruce was being a bitch, a child about it. Instead of invading her space, as he knew they weren’t close, he started to stalk her outside the house.

Nothing of substance happens, not related to what he saw. Alfred is still worried but without knowledge he can’t tell Alfred what was truly going on. Jason didn’t know what possessed him to care suddenly, maybe just someone outside the family doing this irritated him? Or the fact she was the only person who shouldn’t be hurt like that?

He gets to know her, how she’s very faithful to her faith and goes to church Wednesdays and Sundays without exception. How she’s well liked by the older women in the fellowship and her ‘work’ outside it. He learned that work was volunteering at the soup kitchen but she’s never been announced doing this.

Jason sees she loves medical documentaries, tv shows, and follows social media doctors on her social media, which was private. He couldn’t figure out what could have happened even began wondering if Damian lied until a banquet he also spied in on that everyone else went to, except him because he was ‘dead’.

That’s where the problem was. He saw Bruce keeping an eye on the boys, even though dick was a damn adult and he saw he didn’t even pay attention to what was happening to her. She was surrounded by some men he remembers he was told to stay away from back when he went to these stupid things. There he’d see a woman who only encouraged the men and Jason wanted to throw up.

They were grabbing, groping, just doing things they shouldn’t ever be doing. The woman reminded Jason a bit of batsis, especially the eyes, but she took more of Bruce’s traits. He about had it seeing them try to make her drink something when he called Dick.

Dick would be annoyed at first since he knew Jason wasn’t at the banquet. Then he hears what Jason was saying and Dick looks in the crowd and sees what’s going on. He can tell you’re uncomfortable, trying to find a way out—anything to use as a way out of what was happening. He almost lost his cool too. He would get in between the men and spoke as calmly as he could about them touching his little sister. He pulled her out from there.

While Jason lit the fuse, he was not the first to get obsessed; it’s Dick. Dick was already feeling guilty for his shit attitude towards batsis when they were just little kids, but to find they were getting hurt because none of them paid enough mind? He had taken her to a family bathroom and insisted he check her. He found everything on her body, or at least without getting her naked. He saw the bruises and the cuts. He asked if she drank anything they gave her and she’d tell him about the champagne they forced her to drink. He could see the bruises forming along her chin from that too. She never felt such concern from any of them, she was utterly surprised. He did take camera evidence of the bruises and cuts, just in case it’s needed, he told her.

Next, unsurprisingly is Jason who isn’t afraid to mention he roughed the guys up a week later as it boiled in his mind. Damian is still annoyed by this as well as Tim, they didn’t get it. Alfred had her excused from school for a few days to properly let her heal. Dick came by more often or stayed longer to speak with her. He never did that before yet Jason wasn’t quite where Dick was.

Alfred would eventually be disgusted further as Jason shows a picture of all parties involved, but none of the men made him angry or disgusted as the woman. At first the boys thought it was a woman standing by or even participating, but were sick to the stomach when Alfred explained the woman involved was batsis’s own mother. He tells the boys what she had done to Bruce and it explained so much to Jason and Dick, but obviously it didn’t mean she deserved it. Batsis isn’t her mom, why didn’t Bruce just see someone to get through it? Alfred then said “He still doesn’t know, he won’t let me speak a word about her to him.”

This only further infuriates Jason. This would trigger the more intense feelings he has surrounding this and her. Mind you, Jason himself until that point hadn’t really interacted with her. Jason leaves in a rage? Takes her with him. It does make Tim and Damian upset since usually he wants to be alone, why were they dragging the loser along?

Jason would teach her how to hold and use a pistol. After what happened he’d want her to have some way to defend herself. He wouldn’t really apologize for the past, that’s just not how Jason is. He isn’t like Dick who is a bit more comfortable with that stuff, he’s a bit more stonewall than him. After the pistol lessons he’d drop her off at home after they get ice cream.

For me Tim would eventually crack try to figure out what the living hell could have slipped Jason’s and Dick’s switches on her and first logically updates his knowledge on her. He sees her schoolwork and is actually surprised. He never took her for the academic type and she clearly had a trajectory towards the medical field based on the classes she was taking. Hell, they’re apparently in the same mathematics, which makes sense since she’s older and for his age it’s advanced. What annoys him is she’s better grade wise. Then there’s her personal life, he sees the church activities she’s been a part of, the church related trips turned out to be missions typical of most churches. Helping out communities outside the country and spreading the word as they did so. He sees her charity work at the soup kitchen and all before seeing how accurate he was in thinking she wanted to go to the medical field, everything she liked on social media related to doctors and she loved medical shows—documentaries to just medical drama. He never really thought there may be more to her than what he saw until then. He always called her useless and a bum, but he ends up rethinking that realizing he was mad that she didn’t need to be a vigilante to be under the Wayne’s wings. He was being unfair for no reason other than his own spite.

Then he speaks to Alfred… because maybe he in formed one of them? He was just curious how the other two found out and is utterly winded by the real reason. He remembers the injury that was brought up but hadn’t thought much of it. She had been SA-ed at the banquets? Alfred shows the bruises Dick had found on her through the photos he sent and her cuts. He felt sick, staring at each deep purple and black bruises, some actually in the form of a hand.

He couldn’t see her the same at all after all that. He also wasn’t the best at giving apologies, but not because he couldn’t do, he just failed at sounding completely sincere and not forced. This leads back to Damian still getting annoyed by them and Bruce hears about it, is confused but because it involves her he blanks it out. It actually is quite alarming how he does it and even Tim who tries to say something can’t get him to listen. He mutters about him needing to see a damn therapist. Especially when he remembers what Alfred said about one of the abusers, while not directly, was her own mother. As he saw it they both have trauma from her so you’d think they could bond over it, but with how Bruce has been handling it… in his mind if he was keeping the baby, he should at least have tried. It’s clear he never did.

I feel like Damian would be the last before Bruce to come around. I debated if him or Bruce would, but it would definitely be Damian… it just would take more time. More accurately it would be three months after Tim came around, that he actually finds anything out about her. What happened was an attack downtown and he was involved of course while Batman handled another further up town. They thought it easier and while it was handled, Damian was legitimately hurt. She happened to be working at the soup kitchen that night and found him. Usually she was timid to Damian, but when she saw his arm she hushed him and told him to be quiet while she does some on scene first aid. She made a tourniquet to stop the bleeding and later Red Robin found them. Tim would comment on the scene clearly, but aside from insulting Damian for poor performance to annoy the brat, he would comment her time learning at ‘the’ center since she turned 18 must have helped a lot. She says “This is literally covered in nursing I at school, Tim.” Tim will respond “Hey, don’t smack my compliment like that.”

Damian never had seen her actually talk like that. He had never seen any version of her but the one who hides behind the timid and scared barriers she had put up—especially after he had struck her when he first arrived. Damian is taken home to recover but now he’s annoyed by something else. What else is she hiding? Why did she immediately revert back to that timid posture when they got home?

Dick eventually would ask how Damian’s doing and Damian would snip at him for information. Dick would sigh, trying to think of a way to explain. Sure he’s someone violent and willing to kill… but he’s still a kid. He had to explain things with a certain tone.

He first asked Damian if he remembers the men his father told them to stay away from and would sometimes get inbetween if they approached. When Damian nods, Dick explains he never warned or did the same for Batsis, he thinks he didn’t even notice. At the last banquet that Batsis attended, he caught a chunk of those same men and a horrible woman that Bruce had a bad history with, not explaining it was her mother.

Damian saw the pictures too. Mind you, he isn’t immediately jumping into this either. He at first just understood the basis for the sudden protective nature they had. Someone had hurt a family member, it’s natural to get offensive especially when they’re not one of them. The line started when he asked what got Tim involved to Tim and he said it wasn’t actually the incident but the sudden research. Showed him everything and he was stunned. Sure, she wasn’t impressive by what he grew up knowing, but considering her upbringing she was an incredible person. Over the next two months he slowly warmed up to her, the last two weeks of which were easier once he found out Jason taught her how to shoot guns. She was best with a pistol, but she could shoot.

It’s not like she was his favorite, but he admits he is protective at that point. To the point he found himself going off on Bruce one day when Alfred mentioned she was starting medical school, which he couldn’t even get to that part before Bruce reminded him. Damian thought it was getting ridiculous, didn’t see why no one could even talk about his sister with him. It surprised Bruce to hear it from him, Jason he understood well by then, but from Damian?

She was gone for college one morning and Bruce forced himself to look in her room. He sees a plethora of items from her Bible and Jesus cross statue on her desk, a stack of medical books and he sees an old calendar and looks at the markers. They mentioned things like soup kitchens, church missions, church events, reminders for college. On her desk were also acceptance letters. He looked through the names, but one had labeled her a free ride. Followed was two scholarships from church groups, 500 dollars on one and another 700 dollars on the other. He was surprised, he never knew any of this. Then he thinks to himself ‘I never let anyone tell me.’

He sees pictures, all of them included Alfred. From simple birthday pictures, to prom, to graduation. Some that didn’t have Alfred was her in a group photo with mission kids and some at the soup kitchen, some older lady was affectionately pinching her cheek. In a recent picture, her graduation from high school, Alfred, Dick, and Tim were there and there was a picture of her and Jason at some shooting range.

He looks away only to notice the medical posters, the medical dramas and documentaries stashed on the bookshelves. He couldn’t help but look back at the pictures, specifically the prom photo. He knew it was hard looking at her because she’d look like her mom, or at least he told himself that. Yet he looks into her prom photo, the picture of Alfred, her and a blond haired boy and he couldn’t see a lot of that horrible woman; only the eyes shown any resemblance. Yet he couldn’t see himself either really. He looked at her and tried to think where he’d seen it before.

Alfred would interrupt and comment on not expecting him to be there. He’d tell him what Damian said hit him hard so he decided to look at her room when she isn’t here. Alfred hummed to that and he asked what she was planning on doing in college. Alfred said “Well, Master Bruce, she’s going to medical school. She wants to be surgeon, if you’re going to ask.”

I feel like this would still not put him in the right space, but it would bother him enough. He’d eventually be in a situation where he talks to Superman about it and Clark is basically like “So the guy who told me to cut Conner some slack and try… can’t even look at his own biological daughter …? I’m sorry, Bats, but you need heavy therapy if she’s spent her whole life essentially being shunted because of one woman’s actions. She isn’t responsible for what happened, she was just a result. You can’t punish her for that.”

From here I don’t really have a clearer idea, I know I’d have Reformed-attempt Harley maybe being his therapist (aka Harley who is done with Joker) and the trigger to him truly going to therapy was an incident where he had to catch an unconscious batsis and instead of seeing batsis’s mom when he caught her, he saw his mom, Martha.

Also wanna make it a later storyline shipping but don’t know who yet since I’d need to figure out everyone’s ages by this point (timelines are confusing lmao)

As you can tell, and guess, the brothers would all kill for Batsis by the time Bruce starts to open up to her and therapy. Jason nearly did back at the banquet. Dick, if he ever dies, would’ve been on accident. And no baby bird nicknames, doesn’t really make sense since she doesn’t participate in the Batman life. Tim would psychologically torture and cause they to do something dangerous that gets them killed. Much like Jason, Damian has no problem or issue in just killing someone for her, only that is his objective unlike Jason. That’s all I have so far, I only warned about the religious stuff since it’s part of her character and some people do have religious trauma and I didn’t want to accidentally trigger anything.

[arlana-likes-to-write]

oh god i think i have an idea for kate x yelena x reader??

maybe something before the 3 kids?

(i was on twitter the other day and i read about people saying the importance of feeling represeted in fics, and i thought about this lately, so uhm from my pov, i would like to uhm propose like a reader with maybe selfharm addiction??? maybe reader doesn't say that she relapsed because kate and yelena have other thoughts like missions and mission reports and hard training and she do not want to be a burden??? but like she doesn't realize that she matters more than all those things to Kate and Yelena and almost towards the end reader can no longer hold the weight inside and one evening she confesses it to them??? gosh this is a lot i know lol

(I HAVE TOTALLY NO IDEA IF YOU WRITE ABOUT THIS TOPICS if not im sorry for the request but this is something that is stuck with me but im getting better, so yeah sorry)

Take My Hand

This is a prequel to Domestic Life but can be read as a standalone.

Warning: mention of past and current self-harm, online bulling, self deprecating thoughts, poor self image, implied sexual content (Kate and Yelena are down bad for their girlfriend), pet names (princess; baby, babygirl)

Breathe. Breathe. Take five breaths in and five out. Your hands shook every time you passed your brush through your hair. The only sound your brain was registering was the music Kate demanded to play so you all could get ready. There was a party at the Avenger Tower; some active Avengers were invited, along with politicians and other top-dog individuals in the city. You weren’t worried about that. You spent so many years in customer service that you could talk to anyone smoothly. It was the media that worried you.

The world knew that Kate and Yelena were dating; they were among the most talked about couples behind Natasha and Maria. You’ve spent hours scrolling through blogs created for them where random people reposted pictures and kept updated on every aspect of their lives. It was a little weird. It was always Yelena and Kate, Hawkeye and the White Widow for a few years. Recently, they’ve hinted at a third in their relationship that many blogs caught on to. That third was you, and for the past five months, the two superheroes kept you out of the public eye. They wanted to keep you to themselves. Everything changed now that Kate wanted to take you on dates.

You were anxious. Compared to the likes of the Avengers, you were a no-one. Just a small-town girl who got lucky their car broke down in your town.

Suddenly, Kate’s arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush to her chest. “Where did your mind run off to, Princess?” Her chest rumbled after each word, and her lips tickled you underneath your ear.

“Just,” you giggled. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” You tried to escape, but Kate held you tighter and rubbed soothing circles onto your skin.

“Princess,” she warned. “You know the rules.” In your opinion, it was a stupid rule, but you knew it was to foster better communication between you three.

“Just nervous,” you answered honestly. Kate nodded your head and hummed in agreement.

“So am I,” she admitted. You looked at her in shock. “I am,” she smiled. “Everyone is going to see how much hotter and cooler my girlfriend is than me, and they are going to convince her to leave me,” she looked directly at you, so you knew who she was talking about. With a roll of your eyes, you faced back towards the mirror.

“You are such a dork, Bishop,” you mumbled.

“I’m telling the truth,” she turned around slightly but still had her arms on you. “Yelena,” she called out. “Tell our girl she’s the prettier one out of the three of us.” How Kate called you ‘our girl’ made you feel warm and fuzzy. Through the mirror, you saw the blonde appeared in the doorway. She decided on a green cocktail dress that matched the color of her eyes. She smiled at you.

“I am ready to keep the vultures off of her,” she said. “Because she is ours.” It was ridiculous. The so-called vultures would be after your girlfriends, and you would have to fight them away. Still, you believed them. It was the way they looked at you, the way they touched you. You never felt more loved.

*

The party was going well. You mingled with team members you saw less frequently and listened to some of the politicians on their upcoming policies. You preferred talking to the Avengers over them. At first, one of your girlfriends stayed with you, but you ensured they enjoyed themselves.

So you were standing with Maria, nursing a drink that Yelena made for you. The blonde had a heavy pour when it came to her bartending skills. Maria told you a story about Yelena and Natasha; somehow, the blonde’s white suit accidentally turned pink when it was Natasha’s turn to do laundry. The sudden smirk on the agent’s face gave your girlfriend away. Kate moved behind you, and you could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Ignore me,” she whispered. “Pretend I’m not here and keep having your conversation.” That was easier said than done, but Maria kept talking, and you tried to focus on it.

Sober Kate was touchy and flirty but knew when to dial it back in public. Drunk Kate was a completely different beast. Her one goal was to make you a flustered mess. She was doing it now. “You look so good,” she mumbled, and goosebumps formed on your skin. “Fuck, I wanna rip this top off and fuck you right here,” you took a sip of your drink to hide the whimper that threatened to escape. “I want everyone here to know you are ours. Too many of these pigs have their eyes all over you.” She was how when she got jealous and possessive.

“Detka,” you weren’t sure when Maria was replaced with Yelena. Her hand was on your chin, and her fingers were cold. A shiver went down your spine. “Are you okay?” You nodded.

“Kate is drunk and horny,” you smiled and ignored the gasp the archer let out. Yelena let out an amused chuckle and leaned closer to your lips.

“I can say I am not surprised with how good you both look,” you watched her green eyes darken before she kissed your lips. Kate let out a breathy groan.

“Would it be inappropriate to leave now?” The archer asked. “I need you both.” You giggled against Yelena’s lips.

“I think we’ve shown our face long enough,” it was all the consent Kate needed before dragging you to the elevator. You pretended to ignore every Avenger’s knowing looks.

Delete Created with Sketch.

A week had passed since the party, and you made it your mission to stay off social media. You focused on your job, studies, and relationship with Yelena and Kate. Everything felt great. When you entered the break room, a few coworkers suddenly stopped talking. “What?” You asked as you opened the fridge to put your lunch in. “Do I have a hickey on my neck again?” Kate left one on your neck when she refused to let you go to work. Your coworkers had a field day for the next few days after.

“No hickey this time,” Tina said with her phone in her hand. “We saw this online and thought you had the right to know.” You took her phone, and you stared at a blog. It was a picture from the party which you’ve seen before. Natasha sent it to you, and you made it your lock screen. Yelena stood in front of you with Kate hanging onto your back. The blonde’s finger was on your chin, and her lips barely touched yours.

“It’s a cute picture of the three of you,” Tina said. Your coworkers knew of your relationship with the two Avengers. It was hard to keep it a secret from them when Kate and Yelena liked to surprise you at work. “It’s the comments we were reading.”

Curiosity killed the cat, right? That was the only part of the phrase people remembered. A part of you knew better to read them. The opinions of random people online did not matter, but you were curious about what your coworkers read. So you scrolled down.

It was nice to see some positive comments. They liked how happy Kate and Yelena seemed. They said you fit in well with them. But it was the negative comments that outweighed the good. To the comments, you were a whore, a homewrecker, a slut, and they could not understand what Kate and Yelena saw in you. They picked at every flaw they saw in the picture.

You handed the phone back to Tina. “You know what they say,” Tina smiled. “Those who pick on others are just jealous and self-conscious of themselves.”

“Right,” you said. “Now, enough gossip,” you teased. “Let’s get to work.”

*

When you entered your shared apartment, it was quiet. Not even the dogs were home to greet you. On any other day, you would be sad that you were alone, but you needed the tie to get your head on straight before everyone returned home.

You went into the bathroom, stripped out of your work uniform, and stepped into the shower. The water ran hot, and you watched your skin turn red from the temperature. When your body was clean, you stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around you. You wiped the condensation off the mirror and stared at your reflection.

Maybe the comments were correct. You could stand to lose weight, eat a little better, or change how you dress. The constant battle of your self-image was something you struggled with your entire life. You weren’t the most popular, prettiest, or smartest in high school. Your family lived paycheck to paycheck, so that you couldn’t afford the name-brand clothes. Every day, you compared yourself to those around you, and those on top of the social hierarchy smelt out of your weakness.

They added to your deteriorating self-image. You felt out of control as you slipped deeper and deeper into the abyss. You needed to get control back. One night, when your mother was at work, you took a razor to the thighs and watched the blood form at the surface. It scared you at first, seeing you bleed by your hand. You promised it would never happen again. But it was a habit you could not easily break when it was the only thing to release the pressure on your chest.

The pressure was back. You entered your shared bedroom and pulled out a small gift box from your Black Widow girlfriend. Inside was a knife with her and Kate’s initials carved into the hilt. Before your rational mind took over, you dragged the blade across the top of your thigh. With each cut you made, the pressure was less, and your mind was less dark.

*

You glanced up from the couch when the apartment door opened. The pup’s feet running against the wood made you smile. It was your only warning before a one-eyed golden retriever jumped on top of you. The air was pushed out of your lungs as he covered your face with kisses. “Lucky, stop!” You laughed and tried to push him off. “Get off!”

“Alright, don’t suffocate her,” Kate pulled the dog off of you and wiped the drool off your face with a towel. “Missed you today,” the archer mumbled and bent down to kiss you. You would welcome her lips on your any other day, but today, they felt wrong. The kiss turned your stomach.

“Missed you too,” you said. Kate moved your legs, sat down, and placed them on her lap. The sudden movement caused the fabric of your sweatpants to rub against the bandages. You winced, but both of your girlfriends missed it except Fanny. The American Akita was watching you closely. “I ordered food from that Thai place. I didn’t feel like cooking,” you went back to doom scrolling on your phone and missed the look between Kate and Yelena.

“Is everything okay, dorogoy?” You heard Yelena ask from the kitchen. You hummed in response, barely paying attention to what Yelena asked.

“Hey,” you were surprised by your phone being ripped out of your hands by the blonde. The Russian ignored the pout on your lips and put your phone on the table out of reach. “That was mean.”

“No, what is mean is that there is something wrong, and you are not telling us,” Yelena knelt by your head. “We have this rule for a reason, detka,” you looked at the archer, hoping your other girlfriend would save you. She stayed quiet but squeezed your thighs for support. You huffed, threw your head back, and felt tears burn at the corner of your eyes.

“It’s stupid,” you said. “Work just sucked, and both of you deal with much bigger problems than mine and-” Yelena quieted you with a gentle hand on your cheek as she pushed away your tears.

“Never think your problems at work are less than ours because we do different things,” the blonde said. “They are still important.”

“Besides,” you turned your attention to Kate, a playful smile on her face. “I could never be as polite and nice to some of the assholes you deal with,” she was able to make you smile. “Baby girl, you are a saint in your work.” You rolled your eyes and wiped away some of your tears.

“Do you want me to get you some food, and we can cuddle on the couch?” Yelena snapped her fingers. “We can watch the show with the talking dog and his high human?” You titled your head and narrowed your eyes at the blonde.

“Do you mean Scooby-Doo?” You questioned.

“Yes!” Yelena smiled. “Come, Kate Bishop, help me with food,” the Black Widow dragged the archer to the kitchen. You chuckled and reached for your phone.

Yes, work sucked, so you told the truth. Your mood turned as soon as you read those comments. The half-truth tasted bitter in your mouth. But this was your problem to fix. Yelena and Kate were Avengers, and you were a nobody.

*

“Princess, where are you going?” Kate asked from her spot on the couch. You were putting on your sneakers and placing a leash on Lucky.

“Taking Lucky for a walk. I’ll be right back.”

“It’s Sunday,” she said very slowly. “It’s not your day,” you shrugged.

“Just want to stretch my legs,” you said. “I’ll be back.” You felt the apartment before Kate could say another word. You used the stairs to warm up, stretching as you went down. You broke into a slow jog when you hit the sidewalk.

It was a new addition to your routine. Sometimes, you wake up early or stop by the gym after work. Some nights, you skipped on your sweet treat. If your girlfriends noticed the change and were worried about it, they kept it to themselves.

You were making progress, but you still cringed when you saw yourself naked compared to your girlfriends. Every flaw you saw was heightened, and you felt disgusted by yourself. Each time those thoughts entered your mind, the only way they left was when the blade came out and moved against your flesh.

The guilt was suffocating, and you wanted to climb into your girlfriend’s arms to forget all of your problems. But the dark voices in your head overpowered every rational thought.

*

“That was good,” Wanda said. “Why don’t we call it there?” You felt gross with the sweat dripping down your back, and your muscles ached. Training with Wanda was making faster progress than on your own. There was a deadline. With another gala happening in 2 weeks, you wanted to look better. You needed to look better for your mental health. You shook your head.

“I can keep going,” you said, stretched out of your sides, and took a deep breath. You needed to keep going.

“Breaks are good,” Wanda said. “They help your body recover and prevent injuries.” Logically, you knew she was right. Your body wasn’t used to this training, and you needed to work up your strength and endurance. But your mind was too dark to think logically. She saw you as weak and lesser, just like everyone else in those comments. This was a mistake. You weren’t an Avenger; you were just a nobody who got lucky. Wanda must have thought you were pathetic.

“Yeah,” you forced a smile. “Sounds good. Same time tomorrow,” you left the training area and headed for Yelena and Kate’s room before she could say anything else.

*

“Kate Bishop, give me the cup,” Yelena reached for the smoothie cup, but the archer held it above her head out of reach.

“No!” The archer laughed at the pout on the blonde’s face. “She asked me to make her workout smoothie, and you will put healthy stuff in it. She deserves a sweet treat!” The sound of Wanda’s laughter forced the archer to look away.

“Are you going to help me, Maximoff, or just stand there?” Yelena asked. The witch shook her head.

“I am not getting involved with this. But,” she sat in the empty seat. “I think you both need to check on your other half.” The duo turned serious when she mentioned that you and Kate had placed the cup on the counter.

“Was she hurt?” Kate asked, and her anxiety only lessened slightly when Wanda shook her head.

“Not exactly, but I would go check on her,” Wanda sighed. “I didn’t do it on purpose, but my powers wandered into her mind during the workout. They weren’t very nice thoughts about her image.” Yelena sighed.

“I knew we should have confronted her about this,” the blonde said. “She has been off since we had that Thai food,” Wanda left the couple and told them that if they needed anything, they should come get her. Kate put her hands on her hips.

“It must be bad if she hid it from us. We have that rule.”

“We must be smart about this and get our girl back.”

*

It was only a matter of time before they came to find you. You were sloppy around Wanda and let your thoughts get too loud. You had time to take a shower, change into comfy clothes, and sit on the edge of the bed. Picking at the skin of your thighs helped as it was unwise to take the blade you hid in your side of the dresser. The action was mindless and soothing. You missed the door opening, and Kate grabbed your hands. “Hi, Princess,” the archer whispered. “Are you here with us?” You felt Yelena sit down next to you.

“Yeah, I’m here,” you whispered, and your head fell onto Yelena’s shoulder. “I’m tired.” The blonde hummed in agreement.

“You have been hiding something from us, data,” the blonde softly spoke. “You might feel better if you told us the truth,” you closed your eyes as you felt tears form in them.

“It’s so stupid,” you said. “I’m so stupid.”

“Hey,” you opened your eyes to look at Kate. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that. I think she is brilliant and beautiful.” You smiled at the goofy look on her face. Sighing, you knew it was the right thing to do. Everything felt so heavy.

“A week after the Stark party, a picture of the three of us circled one of those Avenger blogs that report on you,” you took a deep breath in and out. “My coworkers found it and showed me. Some of the comments were awful towards me. They highlighted everything I hated about myself.”

“Why did you not tell us about this?” Yelena asked. She tried to mask the hurt in her voice, but you heard it. You never wanted to hurt them by hiding this.

“I worried if I told you, you would see that they saw and leave me,” you admitted. “I wanted to fix what was broken before you saw it. I am a nobody compared to you.” You angrily wiped your face.

“Princess, take my hand,” you gave one hand to Kate and the other to Yelena. “Nothing about you is broken. Those assholes are jealous and spiteful,” you knew that. You knew that from the beginning.

“But,” Yelena pushed loose hair out of your face and kissed your forehead. “Our mind is our biggest enemy, right?” You nodded. “You are our missing piece. We are whole because of you.”

“But I’m not an Avenger or a hero or—” Kate hushed you gently, moving her thumb across her lips.

“We don’t want you to be a hero,” The archer said firmly. “We want and need you to be you because you are a constant reminder of life outside of fighting and Avenging.”

“You are the reason we come home after every mission,” Yelena added, kissing the tears that fell down your cheek.

“We need you, baby,” Kate smiled. “And we will remind you every day.” She kissed the scars on your thighs, and the simple action caused more tears to leave your eyes. “Where is the blade, baby?” You weakly pointed to the dresser. Yelena quickly stood up and went to find it. Kate maneuvered you to lie down on the bed with her arms tightly around you. There was more to discuss, more things you needed to work through. Right now, you felt safe in your girls’ arms.

*

The night of the Gala, you felt your normal nerves with all the eyes and cameras on you. But Yelena and Kate quieted every doubt that entered your mind. As much as they said they needed you, you needed them.

[its-my-whump]

Tw: implied death, depression, capture, blood, selfharm

The sharp blade cut into his flesh easily. He was intoxicated, so the pain didn't come at first.

The steel had already sliced skin before a brief, but dull pain, that felt too far away, hit him. Blood summoned around the cut. It didn't hurt.

Not really, not as much as his soul did, anyway.

It was unpleased, yes. But so was his -fucked up- life.

It actually felt kinda good. The warmth spreading on his arm. It almost felt, as if someone was holding that arm. He longed for some human touch, for so long.

But all he got was a slap, a fist to his jaw, a prom to his chest. He wanted to feel wanted again.

No, that was an overexaggeration. He just wanted to feel someone else again. Someone, that wouldn't hurt him. Just hold him.

He actually didn't care, if it was a boy or a girl, a slut or a grantpa. He just didn't want to be so alone. He wanted to lay his head on someone's shoulder and just cry about the cruelty of this world, of what was done to him.

But he couldn't. There was no one there for him. He was alone, alone as he ever had been.

No one was looking for him.

He was a lone wolf. Always had been. But he stepped into a bear trap and that was his end.

He knew, he wouldn't leave this place alive anyway. He knew he would never feel the soft touch of another human being before he'd die in here.

Tears were building under his closed lids. He regretted so much at this very moment.

He regretted going away, when things got tough, cause he couldn't take it anymore.

If he had known then, that this was the thing he'd regret the most in the face of death, he'd never left.

If he had know, what he was actually capable of enduring, he'd never thought about leaving.

But it was too late.

Blood was dripping. The blade slipped from his weak hand. At least he would die a free man. Free in his soul, even though, he was caged for weeks. He'd dreamed about her and he was certain to meet her again in the afterlife.

It was the last thought, when his eyes closed one last time and his heartbeat slowed to a constant thud like a clock, that was running low on battery.

My masterlist

[jeon-ify]

eclipse - jungkook

TEASER

—synopsis : though things on the outside felt swiftly and perfectly fine, for jungkook— he felt like he was dying by the minute. the only thing is, that, he’s not dying alone.

warnings: implied selfharm, swearing, violence, smoking, drinking, smut, etc.

BASED ON ‘eclipse’ BY JOSH MAKAZO

“i don’t understand, jungkook. help me understand where the fuck this is coming from?”

you’re just as confused as he is with his fucked-up mindset that you’re leaving. no matter how many times— for the past 8 years— you’ve proved to jungkook that you’re not going anywhere, he won’t believe you.

“you’re leaving me, one of these days you are. i’ve had enough of people fucking walking out of my life. if you leave me—“ you cut him off with a defense in your voice, almost yelling at him in hopes that you’re knocking some sense into his thick skull.

“i don’t know what to fucking tell you, jungkook! i’ve had this talk with you for years, what are you not getting? you want me to leave so bad, just say the words.”

this strikes something in your boyfriend that makes the light in his eyes turn to a bomb you’d just ticked off. the man you see before you is no longer your boyfriend— he’s someone you’ve never seen before, and someone you need to hide far away from.

[tallovines]

"Shower"

sorry for not posting anything all day. i havent really been feeling alright lately, but i did write something at least.

its a vent story though,,, theres some content warnings id like to mention :

selfharm

non-sexual nudity

a lot of the stuff here is just self projection if that says anything

all of the stuff is very much there, not implied, so please be aware

the story will be under the cut :

I was staying at Violet’s place for the night. I just wanted to be with him– didn’t feel like being on my own. Plus, I was worried he’d stay all night, working at the foundation. Lately, he’s been so busy… busy working on that flower he’s got. Damn thing doesn’t even have a number designation yet, said that the anomaly seemed similar to some other anomaly we had on site. The keyword being had, but to be sure, they didn’t give it a number in case of it actually being an offset. 

Point was, he’s been busy. I could see how much it was stressing him out, how little sleep he got. I was worried, alright. But I knew that he’d at least go to his place if I offered to stay over.

Surprise, surprise. He let me stay, and I went to his place.

Violet doesn’t have enough space in his apartment to have a guest bedroom, so I always just sleep in his bed. I offer each time to sleep on his couch, but he’d feel bad. I don’t mind sleeping on the same bed with him though. It feels less lonely at night when I do.

So here I sit, alone on his full-sized bed. The sheets are a nice, pastel purple, nothing too bright, nor too dark. They were simple if you could put it like that. I hear the shower running. 

Showering helps Violet sleep. I know this because he showers before he goes to sleep every time I stay over. I’ve noticed he genuinely can’t bring himself to sleep if he doesn't take a shower or any sort of bath.

Violet takes longer in the shower than usual.

The most Violet ever takes in the shower is probably 30 minutes. I was starting to get worried. 

I climb out of the bed to go check on him. The room is dark, but I see a faint light. The bathroom door wasn’t locked; Violet must’ve forgotten to close it. I get closer to the door, to open it, to check up on him.

But there is a noise.

I could’ve easily missed it– the droplets of water pang hard onto the shower floor. It was loud. However, listening a bit more carefully…

Sob… then a wince.

I had, at first, believed my ears were deceiving me. It was quiet, faint. I could’ve very much just misheard the shower. But again–

Sob… then a wince.

That one couldn’t have been just my ears. Something had to have been wrong with Violet.

At that moment, I felt wrong– gross, but I had to check in. I had to check up on Violet. I open the doors in a rush of worry. I try my hardest not to look so hard, but it’s like it was looking at me.

Violet, sat on one of the ledges in his bathtub. The water below appears red. I look at his face just to not keep looking at everything else too hard. His purple hair, wet, but appearing slightly curled as per usual. He’s not wearing his glasses; he’s not wearing his makeup. You could tell he’s been crying. His face says a different story though.

Horror. Shock. A child being caught past bedtime. 

Upon realizing what just happened, Violet stares at me, blankly. A small clank can be heard; a small, pink eyebrow razor hits the bathtub floor.

“J-James?” Stutters escape Violet’s mouth– he can’t speak properly.

The shower keeps going, the water must be getting cold by now. The bathtub still gets stained red. Mindlessly, I walk over.

What did I expect? Violet’s body remains bare. Cuts varying in size can also be seen, scattered across his thighs and waist. He still stares at me, a bloodied deer in headlights.

No words escape my mouth. I start to gently clean his body. No force was used. Soap and bubbles trail against his body, and he occasionally winces, but mostly cries. 

I finish cleaning him, and shut off the already cold shower. Quiet babbles escape the crying researcher. Usually so smart, reduced down to a crying child. I carry him out, clothes already wet from washing him. I grab his, also purple, towel, and begin to dry him. First, a light pat on his face. Then his hair, and the rest of his body. I make sure not to use too much force, while still trying to get him dry.

Searching the cabinets in his bathroom, I found bandage. I wrap both of his thighs in care, not too tight, but not soft enough to slip in his sleep. I cover his waist in bandaids.

I grab the clothes he had set aside. Underwear first. Violet allowed me to go. Next, a shirt for a music artist he really liked. Violet always loves to sleep in those. The last two things I put on him were some normal shorts, and his glasses. He sat still, almost like a dress-up doll. We did this quite often, minus the part where he’d be crying and bandaged, but he was used to everything else.

Still quietly crying, he attempts to stand up, and walk back to his room. When I’m sure he isn’t looking, I go back to the bathtub, and grab his razor, making sure to hide it somewhere. 

We reach his bedroom, and he sits down on the bed first. I make sure to quickly change my shirt.

“James, I–”

Sitting down on the bed, I shush him. He continues to cry.

I hug him, allowing for him to cry. I didn’t need an explanation or anything from him. I just wanted him to be okay. Sniffles can be heard; tears moisten my previously dry shirt.

It reached a point where I could barely hear Violet crying anymore. I softly lift him away, and remind him to take his sleeping medication. We had work the next day, so he accepted. After taking his medication, he removes his glasses, and scoots some of the plushies on his bed away, so he could more comfortably lay down.

He gestures wanting to cuddle; I did it, no question. 

I feel him fall asleep in my arms. I don’t sleep yet, worried he may wake up again, or something of the sort. I wanted to savor the moment, to remember how he felt in my arms.

After a while, I can’t deny how I feel anymore, and go off to sleep as well.

Not before leaving a small kiss on his forehead, of course.

[vanillaxoshi]

Hiyaaa I'm that anon that asked if I could write something based on the art piece of Solar you did. Here it is! Trigger warning tho for implied selfharm and pretty decidely implied psychological trauma. Sorry for any typos too I typed this at 2 am after a very hard day :') --

There's a cold chilling breeze on a now barren rock in space. Or well logistics in the matter he's on a planet of course. With some patches of life of course other than the crater he'd made. But well..

..He still can't see. Can he?

There's only the blurred mess of grayed browns, of smoke filling his nose and every other sense.

Solar really should get away from it but alas he was told to stay put. And the last time he disobeyed... Yeah he shouldn't move.

Doesn't solve how his legs itch to move. Doesn't stop the nearly numbing pain in head as his eyes slowly knit and reshape itself. Doesn't stop his hands bleeding what's broken on the inside out.

Solar is tired. Solar is broken or he should be. Should be more broken then just his hands. Part of him deeply wished to be.

He'd be lucky if it happened after the stun he pulled. His master says he should be thankful to whatever Higher being decided to still bless him with eyesight after trying to claw them out.

For risking something so precious was the exact wording he used.

And Solar finds himself reliving the memory.

.

.

.

When he had done it, Retak'ka had asked why. Surprisingly not in anger as Solar expected. Already having preparations of excuses or reasons to why he'd not only done something so reckless but also that would completely make them lose everything they've worked for.

Everything Solar was made for.

Yet it didn't come. Just a simple quiet, "Why did you do it".

And much to Solars own stupid dismay that he even now kicks himself for time and time again. There were no words on his tongue, it threw him off and out of the loop.

.. Why did he do it.. he couldn't just admit why he did it. But he couldn't leave it unanswered.

"I'm testing if conscious harm done by me will do worse damage," he says this with blood dripping from his shut eyes. Acting as if his nails aren't caked with his own blood. Like he wasn't going to force them open for another go if his Master didn't walk in.

The lie.. was an obvious one. Even if his voice didn't waver. Every point of his said the opposite, his already blackened hands pulsed with an old pain and his eyes only exploded with it from the beginning.

Retak'ka knew it was a lie. There's no way he didn't.

But he silently hoped. He just wished silently to just let him have this. Just let him lie this easily without any repercussions.

And he did. He let him lie. 

He let him lie knowing full well what he did, knowing Solar still wouldn't be relieved. Not even as he cleans his hands from the blood and sits on the floor with his eyes not actively bleeding anymore after he’d cleaned up. 

"You shouldn't have done that", Retak'ka says to Solar, handing the Light Elemental a wet rag. Solar takes it and presses it on his eyes.

"A test like that is much too risky, even with the.. curious idea behind it"

"Tests always have risks to take."

"Not if they risk something precious and personal"  he hears

Solar wanted to rebuke that about all the risks he's taken. By using Solar's power so.. so openly. After being kept hidden for stars, know how long. For all the risk Retak'ka is doing by basically kidnapping the other Spirits. It was ludicrous!

It was disgusting to even think about but.. but Solar kept his mouth shut. He didn't say anything but a quiet "hmmm"

It was easier that way. Easier to just... take it? No and yes. But it was also easier to just.. keep quiet. Be silent and follow orders. It'd only quite literally harm him more in the long run in more ways than one if he disobeyed.

He feels a hand on his head, and Solar has half the mind to recoil from the touch but doesn't.

"You are precious to me Cahaya"

That catches Solar more off guard. He.. hasn't used his real name in a long while. Nor has he openly ever shown affection like this. Not like Sir Tok Kasa or Gempa..

Solar tenses. And he doesn't know why, realistically he should be calmer. He isn't getting punished, he's not needing to explain himself on why he did other than what was said before.. So why is so.. fearful?

"So please don't do this again."  There were words left out of that sentence. But Solar only nodded. His vocal cords refused to do as they were intended and speak.

So he forces himself to at least stop being so fretful and calm down. It doesn't work but he tries.

..."yeah alright I won't do it again." His voice was quiet but any louder he felt would ruin something. What it is he has no clue, but it's something.

"Good" There was a ruffle of his hair before he heard footsteps leave the room.

.

.

.

Solar snaps out of the memory blinking. There's a familiar pounding behind his eyes as he instinctively reaches up to itch them but stops.

There are tears welling in his eyes. And he's realizing how crying. Yet the Light Spirit can only feel a numbing somber he's felt way too many times to count anymore.

His world used to be light itself both metaphoric and literal.

Solar used to be happier.

Cahaya used to be happier.

He's the light, supposedly having the power to create warmth for others. Something to be a beacon of hope for, dangerous but loving ultimately. He used to be those.. and still he can't help but mourn it. What he used to be.

Cahaya.

Solar was Cahaya but.. not anymore. He couldn't return to those times even if he wanted to.

Which he does. But he doesn't have a choice in the matter.

But still..

Cahaya cries tears of sorrowful golden rays. He's crying liquid glow of what he used to be. And he can't see anymore, the once blurred mess of browns, just filled with his tears.

This land he ruined.. helped ruined. It used to be green, part of him thinks Daun would've loved it... but now much like him. It's barren. Empty.

He hears footsteps and doesn't bother trying to wipe his face.

"Your crying," is the only thing he hears as his master stops by his side.

"Duri.. would've liked this place I think. I just miss a little"

Not a lie. It's not a lie he kept some things to himself. Was it?

"We'll be okay Cahaya"

No they wouldn't. No he wouldn't. Not after this, not after everything the Light Spirit had done and would keep doing. Not even after death.

"You are my precious tool, there's nothing to worry about. Just do as your told and I promise you'll get what you need"

Need.. what did Solar even need or want anymore.

Manipulation freaking manipulation

RETAKKKAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAA

Sheesh, Retakka is so- menacing?? So- malicious?? So- just- i want to push him

Cahaya and trauma!!! He will never eescape it in this blog

This is such a wonderful beautiful fic

Would it be bad if i made this canon to this au??

[zomb-luv]

birdie rant shit [i promise its not some weird deranged harassment]

okay i usually dont. talk about stuff like this but as someone who struggles heavily with mental health and has basic levels of sympathy for someone in a bad spot, i am a birdie defender. he was being abused, being forced by others into burn out, groomed, struggling with psychosis and bdp which are UNCONTROLLABLE. ESPECIALLY IF GOING UNTREATED. and struggling with selfharm. yet i still see people fakeclaiming and gatekeeping his abuse, fakeclaiming him on his sexuality, implying hes a child predator, calling him a watered down chris chan [fucking what], leaking his face, misgendering him, and so much more shit. what the fuck is wrong with you people? he DID take accountability for a good sum of shit in his video, but he also has multiple conditions that made him act that way. ON TOP OF THAT! HE WAS ALSO!!! A FUCKING CHILD!!!! are you kidding me!!!!! he WAS abused, it is NOT your place to call that fake. he IS aroace, it is NOT your place to speculate. he DOES have uncontrollable issues and illnesses that he is LITERALLY SEEKING TREATMENT FOR, it is NOT your place to belittle or fakeclaim that. he DID take accountability. you just didnt fucking watch the video. you saw the DRAWN decor of a DRAWN. ROOM. saw DYED HAIR. heard LUCIFER AND HE/IT. and immediately decided hes just a fucking lolcow and nothing he says is real or good enough for you. fuck you.

i hope this isnt crossing any boundaries but i really needed to get this out.

birdie, youre a big comfort and inspirational figure for me. people should treat you like a person more often. youre a cool fuckin guy. <:)

[manicali]

Legit almost forgot about WIP Wednesday because all my current wipes are dog shit

TW SELFHARM AND SUICIDE IMPLIED

ALSO SOME BLOOD/INJURY

Mika! Former protagonist who I ended up rewriting on the bus, this isn’t what she looks like in the story, so uh. Have a fun spoiler ig?

I’m working on her curse, I guess I’ll explain that

Uh so all the captives of the spire (where they’re trapped) have a “curse”

A lot of the MC Jacks curse is seeing things and his mask slipping, which is bad, you’ll see why. Their curses are going to relate to themselves as a a character. Jacks curse is because he is in nature a liar. No I will not be giving any moral dilemmas to these characters, I’m trying to write people my age which is hard enough, you can’t get me writing morals, every one of my characters is as shitty as I am. Bite me. (Also these characters are me heavily projecting because if I have to continue living like this I’m removing organs)

Anyways. Mika is a sweet talker, and a life ruiner. She’s a little based on Regina George because. Why not. Idk what her curse is.

[mossy-thing]

I've written something wholesome for a change! You can read it here or on ao3!

Bugs and Potatoes

Rated G

Modern au, kids being weird (and cute. And anxious. And autistic), implied/referenced selfharm in a very non self hateful kind of way (more in a curious kid kind of way but i thought it was important to mention nonetheless)

“I’ve made a friend!!”

Lúthien is jumping around her in circles, making it very hard to get to the bird feeder, but Melian only smiles, not even trying to get her vibrating daughter to calm down. “Really?”, she asks, smiling.

“Yesyesyes! His name is Beren, he has really funny hair and we shared lunch by the swings today and I talked about bugs and now we are friends!”

“That is nice, dear.”

It does not seem like she will get to feed the birds today, since Lúthien has gone over to clinging to her so hard that Melian nearly worries her daughter might snap one of her rips. A nightingale is staring her down accusatory from a nearby branch, no doubt waiting for her dinner. Melian pets Lúthien’s hair.

“I can’t wait to meet him. Why don’t you go tell your father?”

Lúthien beams, presses a kiss to Melian’s side and runs off into the house at a speed that seems like it should be impossible to reach for a six year old. Melian sighs, and picks up the bucket of seeds she has dropped under the ambush that is her daughter. It will be a nightmare to get her to go to sleep tonight.

Lúthien waits anxiously by the swings, twisting her hair between her fingers so she won't start eating it. Beren said he would be here at lunchtime like the day before, but lunchtime is 12am and according to the wristwatch she got for christmas, it is now two minutes past 12 am. She tries not to worry. Beren smiled at her yesterday. He told her he liked her bug facts. They were the nice bug facts, too, she had not even mentioned caterpillars dissolving in cocoons because Daeron had told her that made a terrible first impression. She had talked about mimicry. Mimicry wasn’t boring and it wasn’t gross, and Beren had smiled at her, so why wasn’t he here now?

Lúthien thinks briefly of going over to the grass patch at the other side of the playground so she can pick up daisies with her toes, which is always very nice, but if she leaves the swings now, he might not find her if he comes, when, when he comes because he is coming, he promised.

She wants to take off her socks, but the problem is that she already has. She stretches her toes as she rocks up and down on her feet. Can she take off her skin? What do feet look like if you remove the skin? Papa would know. He always knows these kinds of things.

Lúthien waits. A red haired child jumps onto one of the swings. She grits her teeth. They didn’t even ask first! Isn't it obvious that she is waiting for someone? She tries to think of something else while also trying to ignore the squeaking of the swings, which is way worse when you aren't the one swinging and having fun.

How would she even remove the skin from her feet? Would it hurt? It probably would, she had fallen before her dancing lessons last week and skinned her knees, and that had hurt very much. But that had been an accident. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if she did it on purpose. If she was prepared.

“Hi!”

“How would you get the skin off your feet?”

She blinks. Beren, who looks like he has just run from somewhere quite far away and is still trying to catch his breath, blinks as well.

“What?”, he says in the same moment as she says “Sorry,” and now they are staring at each other, and it is uncomfortable, and oh, this was a bad idea, maybe she really can’t make friends and now he is going to run away like Daeron said he would if she talked about cocoons, because this is worse than cocoons, isn’t it, and why hasn’t she realized that before and –

“I guess with a knife?” Beren looks very confused. “Why would I do that though?”

“Forget it,” she blurts, happy that he hasn’t run away screaming yet. “We can’t use the swings today,” she adds, pointing at the child still merrily blocking them from swinging side by side like they did yesterday. “Oh.” He chews on his lower lips.

“There is a stone at the pond,” he says very carefully, and then he stops talking. Lúthien looks at her maybe-still-friend, who seems to have completely lost his train of thoughts, and when she is sure he won’t start talking again on his own, she pokes his arm. He startles, and she says “Sorry,” and he says “Please don’t touch me,” and she apologizes again, and then, when she has just come to the conclusion that now he definitely will run away, he blurts out, “There is a stone at the pond with a bunch of ants under, I know because my little sister keeps trying to eat them, do you want to go there and watch how they carry their eggs around it is really cool,” and she says “Yes” far too loud because his hands fly up to his ears for a second, but then he grins and she grins too, so hard that she is sure her cheeks will split, and he carefully takes the sleeve of her blue shirt and the two run off together.

“I think I would boil the feet first,” Beren says as they walk past the benches where their parents sit fifteen minutes later, covered in mud and pond water. “That way the skin can come off more easily. Like potatoes, you know?”

Lúthien, who is in a very similar state, scrunches up her face in disgust. “I hate potatoes.”

Beren laughs. “Me too.”

[jeon-ify]

through the seven seas - kim seokjin

TEASER

synopsis: in a complex and emotionally charged situation, seokjin finds himself grappling with the aftermath of his wife's infidelity. despite her actions and her expressed desire to leave the relationship due to unhappiness, he finds himself unable to let go. motivated by his own selfish desire to keep her, he refuses to let her go even if it means she remains in a relationship where she isn't happy.

warnings: violence, manipulation, selfishness, gaslighting, seokjin forces reader to stay in a relationship, implied su!c!de, smut, cheating, language, guilt tripping, crying, selfharm, etc. if i missed anything, leave it in the comments and i’ll include it in the warnings.

just leave him! what’s the worst that can happen?

1 YEAR LATER

“if you fucking leave me, y/n, so help me god, i’m taking your kids and you’re never seeing them again. am i clear?”

[ao3feed-itafushi]

When You Die

by Animecard Racked with guilt, Yuji takes to unhealthy habits with the coercion of his “cursed friend”. What happens when these methods go too far. Song: "when you die"- MGMT Words: 1221, Chapters: 1/20, Language: English Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Gojo Satoru, Kugisaki Nobara, Zenin Maki, Inumaki Toge, Nanami Kento, sukana - Character Relationships: Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji Additional Tags: Yujiitadoriangst, Fushidori - Freeform, megumi x itadori, Itadori Yuuji Needs a Hug, Sad Itadori Yuuji, Itadori Yuuji is a Ray of Sunshine, dadnanami, dadgojo, selfharm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Eating Disorders from AO3 works tagged 'Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji' https://ift.tt/NQqVHAW

[thisdustslave]

Tags/Navigation

Types of posts:

#my art — pretty self explanatory, hand drawn stuff #my writing — also pretty self explanatory, includes short stories or headcanons/theories. #conlanging — fooling around with loose interpretations of linguistics

Contents:

#doodles — studies, random sketches, not with a specific character etc #nostramo posting — personal headcannons about the homeworld of the 8th legion #night lords posting — stuff about my OCs from a fanmade NL warband as well as non Night Lord characters connected to it (mortals, admech, other space marine groups) #setting — not fan work, original setting which is being developed very slowly. The one I'm making a conlang for. #selfsona — loosely mimicking my real self #oc stuff — mostly alternative universe versions of my original and 40k OCs #90s AU — 1990s Russia AU with NL OCs #fsm — female space marines from 40k (also genderbending primarchs&my OCs)

Original characters are tagged by their name which usually follows the #oc

Trigger warnings:

I do not tag small cuts/blood in general/scars/facial deformities/physical violence so if you're uncomfortable with this type of content this blog is probably not for you. Things I tag are under the cut.

#gore — detailed imagery of wounds, extreme violence, body organs, large amounts of blood. #cannibalism — cannibalism and eating humanoids in general #tw sa — sexual abuse. Includes harassment. #tw sa implied — like previous but for more vague or symbolic stuff #tw selfharm — physical harm to one's body. Doesn't include faded scars or causing minor discomfort to self. #tw incest — self explanatory. includes relationships between step family members or between characters with strong implications of having a family-like connection.

If you would like to have something else (excluding things in italics) tagged feel free to message me or send an ask.

[ao3feed-wandamaximoff]

Take My Hand

by arlanalikestowrite Based on the tumblr request (arlana-likes-to-write) (i was on twitter the other day and i read about people saying the importance of feeling represeted in fics, and i thought about this lately, so uhm from my pov, i would like to uhm propose like a reader with maybe selfharm addiction??? maybe reader doesn't say that she relapsed because kate and yelena have other thoughts like missions and mission reports and hard training and she do not want to be a burden??? but like she doesn't realize that she matters more than all those things to Kate and Yelena and almost towards the end reader can no longer hold the weight inside and one evening she confesses it to them??? gosh this is a lot i know lol Words: 3467, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Living that Domestic Life Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F Characters: Yelena Belova, Kate Bishop, Maria Hill, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff Relationships: Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop, Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop/Reader, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov Additional Tags: Self-Harm, Self-Esteem Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Fluff, Protective Kate Bishop, Protective Yelena Belova, Implied Sexual Content, online hate, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Pet Names via https://ift.tt/vgnhQed