#imperfection as humanity and connecting to emotion

[treefey]

Positive Female aging/"imperfection" #1

I'm getting sick of seeing our humanity basically getting erased (also it's almost time for another birthday, and I'm aging.) So I'm gonna see if I can at least change my own mentality about visibly aging.

Julia Roberts' forehead vein-- it's not conventionally attractive, especially in like a static photo. But when she's moving through life, or her characters are, at least, it's kind of cute. It happens when she's expressing intense emotion, and it's a signifier to us that she's a human with feelings.

So it's maybe an "imperfection" for her working circulatory system to be visible, but it makes her feel more real than airbrushed no forehead lines actors

[kodasea]

Son of Gondor

[sunriseindigo]

unpopular opinion maybe but min should completely disconnect herself from academics. obv not permanently but in a non despair au she needs a few months to stop worrying over essays and exams and discover what it means to be human. u can’t convince me she doesn’t have serious dehumanization and impostor syndrome problems. she needs to be out in nature looking at bugs and feeling sunshine on her skin. she needs to gain the childhood she never got to have. she will never heal from her wounds otherwise

[foreverevolvinghuman]

The Beauty of Imperfection in Human Connection

If there’s one thing I’ve learned while reflecting on life, it’s that human relationships are as paradoxical as we are. They’re beautifully messy, full of misunderstandings, quiet moments of repair, and the kind of growth that only happens when we face our imperfections together.

I’ve seen this in my own life. In my relationship with my fiancé, we’ve had our share of moments where we didn’t see eye to eye. But those challenges have taught us to listen more deeply, to find empathy even when it’s hard, and to lean into the messy work of loving each other fully. It’s not the perfect moments that have shaped us, It’s the imperfect ones that teach us who we are, who we choose to be.

This is true beyond romantic relationships. Think about friendships, family relationships, and even how we relate to ourselves. We stumble, we hurt one another, and we make mistakes. And yet, we also show up, forgive, and grow. It’s these very contradictions that make our connections so deeply human.

When I think about how this fits into everything else I’ve shared on this blog. The paradox of human nature, the heartbreak of loss, the joy of planning a wedding, I realize it all comes back to the same thing: our ability to navigate life’s contradictions. We’re flawed, yet we create beauty. We lose, but we still love. We aren’t perfect, and yet we find joy in connection.

So here’s to the messy, imperfect relationships that fill our lives. They may not always be easy, but they teach us what it means to truly love and be loved.

What do you think?

What’s one moment in a relationship romantic, platonic, or family, where imperfection led to something unexpectedly beautiful? Maybe it was a funny misunderstanding that brought laughter or a mistake that taught you something meaningful. I’d love to hear your stories or reflections! Feel free to share the little moments that make connection so deeply human.

[nanstar200]

Guys..

“Oh that animal doesn’t LIKE you it just TOLERATES you” …..So? If that’s the most a non-social organism can feel towards you isn’t that just as special an honor as whatever it is you think affection means??

[wickedzeevyln]

Grateful

What are you grateful for? Across time.Across space. Someone’s sight is on the skies, piercing through the thickness of the clouds, through the soundlessness of space, through bubbles and dimensions, like a ray of light infused with prayers. A gratitude for the drops of rain pattering on the leather-like skin of dry earth that thirst for hope. Drops of rain awakening seeds still in the wombs of…

[xyywrites]

Tips for writing flawed but lovable characters.

Flawed characters are the ones we root for, cry over, and remember long after the story ends. But creating a character who’s both imperfect and likable can feel like a tightrope walk. 

1. Flaws That Stem From Their Strengths

When a character’s greatest strength is also their Achilles' heel, it creates depth.

Strength: Fiercely loyal.

Flaw: Blind to betrayal or willing to go to dangerous extremes for loved ones.

“She’d burn the whole world down to save her sister—even if it killed her.”

2. Let Their Flaws Cause Problems

Flaws should have consequences—messy, believable ones.

Flaw: Impatience.

Result: They rush into action, ruining carefully laid plans.

“I thought I could handle it myself,” he muttered, staring at the smoking wreckage. “Guess not.”

3. Show Self-Awareness—or Lack Thereof

Characters who know they’re flawed (but struggle to change) are relatable. Characters who don’t realize their flaws can create dramatic tension.

A self-aware flaw: “I know I talk too much. It’s just… silence makes me feel like I’m disappearing.” A blind spot: “What do you mean I always have to be right? I’m just better at solving problems than most people!”

4. Give Them Redeeming Traits

A mix of good and bad keeps characters balanced.

Flaw: They’re manipulative.

Redeeming Trait: They use it to protect vulnerable people.

“Yes, I lied to get him to trust me. But he would’ve died otherwise.”

Readers are more forgiving of flaws when they see the bigger picture.

5. Let Them Grow—But Slowly

Instant redemption feels cheap. Characters should stumble, fail, and backslide before they change.

Early in the story: “I don’t need anyone. I’ve got this.”

Midpoint: “Okay, fine. Maybe I could use some help. But don’t get used to it.”

End: “Thank you. For everything.”

The gradual arc makes their growth feel earned.

6. Make Them Relatable, Not Perfect

Readers connect with characters who feel human—messy emotions, bad decisions, and all.

A bad decision: Skipping their best friend’s wedding because they’re jealous of their happiness.

A messy emotion: Feeling guilty afterward but doubling down to justify their actions.

A vulnerable moment: Finally apologizing, unsure if they’ll be forgiven.

7. Use Humor as a Balancing Act

Humor softens even the most prickly characters.

Flaw: Cynicism.

Humorous side: Making snarky, self-deprecating remarks that reveal their softer side.

“Love? No thanks. I’m allergic to heartbreak—and flowers.”

8. Avoid Overdoing the Flaws

Too many flaws can make a character feel unlikable or overburdened.

Instead of: A character who’s selfish, cruel, cowardly, and rude.

Try: A character who’s selfish but occasionally shows surprising generosity.

“Don’t tell anyone I helped you. I have a reputation to maintain.”

9. Let Them Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability adds layers and makes flaws understandable.

Flaw: They’re cold and distant.

Vulnerability: They’ve been hurt before and are terrified of getting close to anyone again.

“It’s easier this way. If I don’t care about you, then you can’t leave me.”

10. Make Their Flaws Integral to the Plot

When flaws directly impact the story, they feel purposeful rather than tacked on.

Flaw: Their arrogance alienates the people they need.

Plot Impact: When their plan fails, they’re left scrambling because no one will help them.

Flawed but lovable characters are the backbone of compelling stories. They remind us that imperfection is human—and that growth is possible.

[mewguca]

Shame

this is a rather personal piece; it's primarily based on my own struggles

It probably could've been executed better (like having more of the interaction she's agonizing over), but I really wanted to focus on that visceral reaction of shame, guilt, and self-criticism

here's a long ramble I wrote while starting this ...

I realize, perhaps much of the reason certain depictions of moon trigger me so much is due to my own overwhelming shame and guilt. It's a defense mechanism crafted because I yet lack the strength to accept myself. I suppose that's why characters like Five Pebbles are so appealing to me — he is someone I've given the room to express his faults, his flaws, his hatred, his despair, his pain, and all his imperfections... For him to be mean or angry is natural and expected, so it's not as scary to express my negative feelings with him as the instrument. He's not a "good person", after all, so it's fine if he is "bad." His standards aren't as high.

Conversely, because I idealize LTTM so much and connect her to myself, I deny her the same things I deny myself. I do it without even thinking, really...

I've often thought, "but this sort of emotion doesn't really suit her... isn't this sort of projection too self-indulgent? If I made this, it'd be too obvious that my own emotions are bleeding through onto the canvas..."

So, I wonder if she's experienced that same sort of emotional repression. It'd be cathartic, in an unfortunate way. To see someone else struggle to grapple with such things, because they want to be pure and virtuous and not upset others...

It's harder when you spend so much time shaping that perfect, faultless, virtuous sort of image, especially when you do it reflexively. Unconsciously. You're making the pressure for yourself worse, but you can't stop... I'm actually not a very friendly person. I'm actually quite afraid and irritable, and I push people away when they get too close. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want anyone to hate me... I don't want to cause suffering or strife. Sometimes, I wish I could just be a completely passive observer.

But I suppose I'm a human being instead, so I have to accept that. Thanks for reading, I guess. I'm not really looking for emotional support here... I just want to be understood.

[starryknight565]

OUGH THIS ONE HAS A LITTLE KICK TO IT

imagine being a shy little intern at jujutsu high and getting the fattest crush on gojo because he’s just. so strong and cool. you idolize him. you want to be his friend. and he seems to take a liking to you; he’s cheery and encouraging and sweet in a roundabout way. you feel like you’ve grown pretty close to him.

imagine him falling asleep right next to you on a sofa in the cafeteria. you can barely tell, with his blindfold still on. but you scurry away to find a blanket, happy that he trusts you enough to rest in your proximity, ready to wrap it around him —

only for it to slip right off. rejected by his infinity.

(he never turns it off, around you.)

[lotuswish]

˗ˏˋ what loving you feels like to them (pt. 3 - heartslabyul) ♡ .ᐟ

synopsis: have you ever wondered what falling in love feels like for each twisted wonderland boy? this series explores love from their perspective-how their personalities, experiences, and desires shape what loving you means to them. follow me to see the next part!

featured character(s): riddle rosehearts, trey clover, cater diamond, ace trappola, deuce spade.

content warning(s): none.

a/n: what loving you feels like to them might occasionally use the same words, but those words mean something a little different for each of them. it might sound familiar, but it's still their own!

riddle rosehearts

loving you feels like uncharted territory for riddle rosehearts—an unfamiliar but undeniable pull that challenges everything he thought he knew about himself and the world. it’s unsettling at first, like stepping out of a perfectly ordered garden into a wild, untamed forest. riddle has spent his life living by rules, adhering to structure, and keeping emotions tightly controlled. but loving you doesn’t follow the rules. it doesn’t fit neatly into the framework he’s built for himself. and yet, it feels right in a way that nothing else ever has.

loving you feels like freedom, though he’s reluctant to admit it. for so long, he’s been bound by expectations—those of his mother, his peers, and even his own rigid standards. but when he’s with you, he begins to realize there’s more to life than perfection and discipline. you show him the beauty in imperfection, the joy in spontaneity, and the strength in being vulnerable. it’s both petrifying and exciting to let his walls down, to trust you with the parts of himself he’s always kept hidden.

at first, loving you feels like a struggle—a battle between his need for control and the overwhelming feelings you bring out in him. he overthinks, questions himself, and tries to rationalize emotions that defy logic. but over time, he begins to see that love isn’t something to be mastered or contained; it’s something to be experienced. you teach him that it’s okay to let go, to make mistakes, and to be human. and in doing so, you give him a kind of peace he didn’t know he was missing.

loving you also feels like growth. you challenge him, not by opposing him outright, but by simply being yourself—kind, patient, and unafraid to push back when needed. you help him see the world beyond the rules he’s lived by for so long, showing him that kindness and understanding are just as important as discipline and structure. with you, he feels like he’s becoming the person he was always meant to be—not the perfect son or the flawless student, but riddle, someone who can love and be loved in return.

for riddle, it goes beyond breaking free from his past or discovering joy in the present; it’s the chance to create a future where he can fully embrace his true self, with you by his side. you are his first taste of a world without restrictions, a world filled with warmth, understanding, and connection. loving you feels like learning how to live, truly live, and it’s a lesson he’ll cherish forever.

trey clover

loving you feels like the calm after a summer rain to trey clover—refreshing, soothing, and full of a quiet kind of peace that feels like it was always meant to be. for someone who’s always been the dependable one, the quiet supporter in the background, love feels like finding someone who sees him for more than his reliability. with you, it’s not about what he can give or do for others; it’s about being appreciated for who he is, without the weight of expectations. it’s a gentle, comforting feeling, like coming home after a long day and knowing he’s exactly where he belongs.

to trey, loving you feels natural, like something that was meant to be. he’s not one for dramatic declarations or grand gestures, but his love for you is woven into every little thing he does—remembering how you like your tea, baking your favorite treats when he notices you’ve had a hard day, or simply listening when you need to talk. it’s the small, everyday moments that make up the fabric of his love, each one a reflection of the deep care he feels for you.

at the same time, loving you feels like balance. trey is used to being the caretaker, the one who looks out for others, but with you, it’s different. you remind him that it’s okay to lean on someone else, to let himself be cared for too. your presence in his life is a gentle reminder that he doesn’t always have to be the responsible one, that he can let his guard down and simply be himself. that kind of mutual support is something he’s never experienced before, and it makes his love for you all the more profound.

loving you also feels like discovery. trey is grounded and practical, but you bring out a lighter, more adventurous side of him, encouraging him to step out of his comfort zone and try new things. whether it’s exploring a hobby he never considered or sharing in your own passions, you make him feel like life is full of possibilities he hadn’t thought to explore. it’s not a drastic change, but a gentle shift, like sunlight filtering through the trees, casting everything in a new light.

for trey, loving you feels like the slow, steady rise of dough—something patient, deliberate, and fulfilling. it’s about embracing the small moments, treasuring the quiet joys, and allowing the connection to deepen naturally over time. with you, he feels like he’s found a partner who understands the beauty in simplicity, someone who makes his life sweeter just by being in it. loving you isn’t a whirlwind or a spark—it’s a constant flame, warm and enduring.

cater diamond

loving you feels like contradiction to cater diamond—thrilling and unnerving, freeing and suffocating, all at once. for someone who’s built his life around facades, hiding his true feelings behind smiles and filters, love feels raw and vulnerable in a way he’s never let himself experience before. it’s like standing in front of an open window, the breeze exposing everything he’s tried so hard to keep hidden. it’s exciting, but it’s also a little terrifying, because loving you means letting you see the parts of him he’s not sure are good enough.

to cater, loving you feels like being seen for the first time. he’s used to being everyone’s friend, the guy who’s always fun to be around, but you don’t just see the version of him he presents to the world—you see the cater who gets tired, who feels lonely even in a crowd, who wonders if he’ll ever truly belong. and instead of turning away, you stay. you remind him that he doesn’t have to perform to earn your love, that he’s enough just as he is. it’s a kind of acceptance he’s never dared to hope for, and it makes him love you all the more fiercely.

loving you also feels like a risk, like holding something precious in hands that don’t quite feel steady. cater is so used to keeping people at arm’s length, afraid of the pain that comes when they leave, but with you, he can’t help but pull you closer. it’s scary, how much he cares, because the more he lets you in, the more he fears losing you. but even that fear is worth it, because the time he spends with you makes him feel more alive than he ever thought possible.

at the same time, loving you feels like joy. it’s the kind of happiness that comes from the little things—a shared laugh, a stolen glance, the way you say his name like it’s something special. you bring light to the corners of his heart he didn’t even know were dark, and for someone who’s always chasing fun and excitement, you’re the first person who makes him want to slow down and savor every moment. with you, love isn’t a distraction or a game; it’s real, and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

for cater, loving you feels like taking off the mask he’s worn for so long and finally breathing freely. it’s messy and imperfect, but it’s also beautiful and real, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. you are his anchor in a world that often feels fleeting, the one thing that makes him believe in something lasting. loving you is the most frightening and wonderful thing he’s ever known, and it’s a risk he’ll gladly take every single day.

ace trappola

loving you feels like a challenge to ace trappola—one he didn’t realize he wanted to win until he was in the middle of it. love wasn’t something he thought about seriously; to him, it always seemed like one of those cheesy fairytale things other people made a fuss about. but with you, it feels real, and that terrifies him as much as it thrills him. loving you feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the unknown, yet grinning because he knows he’ll jump anyway.

to ace, loving you feels like being thrown off balance. he’s so used to keeping things lighthearted, dodging vulnerability with jokes and playful teasing, but you manage to see past all of that. you call him out when he’s being difficult, and instead of pushing you away, it makes him want to try harder. you don’t let him get away with his usual antics, and that’s part of what makes him love you—you’re not afraid to challenge him, to hold your ground, and that earns his respect in a way nothing else can.

loving you also feels like growth. ace is confident, but he’s not used to thinking about someone else’s feelings as much as his own. being with you teaches him to slow down, to consider your perspective, and to realize that love isn’t about winning or being right—it’s about compromise, patience, and effort. it’s not always easy for him, but he finds himself wanting to be better, not because he feels like he has to, but because you make him want to be someone worthy of your love.

at the same time, loving you feels like fun. ace has always had a knack for turning even the most mundane moments into something exciting, and with you, every day feels like an adventure. he loves the way you can banter with him, match his energy, and keep him on his toes. your relationship is full of laughter and lighthearted moments, but beneath it all is a deep connection that he doesn’t take lightly. with you, he feels like he can be himself—flaws, quirks, and all—and that kind of acceptance means more to him than he’ll ever admit out loud.

for ace, loving you feels like drawing a wild card in a hand he thought he’d already figured out, completely changing the game in the best way. it’s a mix of excitement, vulnerability, and the occasional frustration, but it’s also the most rewarding thing he’s ever experienced. you’re his equal, his partner, and his favorite person to annoy in the best possible way. loving you is unpredictable, exhilarating, and a little scary—but to him, it’s absolutely worth it.

deuce spade

loving you feels like redemption to deuce spade—raw, humbling, and deeply transformative. for someone who has spent so much of his life trying to leave his troubled past behind, love feels like proof that he’s on the right path. he feels something deeper than just affection for you—it’s how you make him see himself differently, like he’s capable of more than he ever thought. with you, he feels like he’s becoming the person he’s always wanted to be, someone strong, kind, and worthy of the life he’s trying to build.

to deuce, loving you feels like hope. he’s always been determined to prove himself, but with you, it’s not about proving anything. you don’t judge him for the mistakes he’s made or the parts of himself he’s still working on. instead, you see the potential in him, the good that he’s trying so hard to nurture, and that belief means more to him than he can put into words. you remind him that he’s more than his past, that he’s capable of being someone who deserves love and happiness.

loving you also feels like responsibility, but not in a burdensome way. deuce is fiercely protective by nature, and with you, that instinct is amplified tenfold. he wants to be your support, your rock, the one you can depend on no matter what. it’s not just about protecting you physically—it’s about being there for you emotionally, about making sure you always feel safe, valued, and cared for. it’s a role he takes seriously, and one he’s proud to fulfill.

at the same time, loving you feels like peace. deuce’s life has always been full of energy and turbulence, but with you, he finds a kind of calm he didn’t know he needed. you’re his anchor, the steady presence that keeps him grounded when his emotions threaten to get the better of him. with you, he doesn’t have to constantly push himself to be better—he can just be, and that’s enough. it’s a rare and precious feeling, one he holds onto with everything he has.

for deuce, loving you feels like a second chance. it’s the opportunity to rewrite his story, to be the kind of person who can give and receive love wholeheartedly. it’s not always easy—he’s still learning how to navigate his feelings and express them—but the thought of losing you is what drives him to keep trying. loving you is his greatest motivator and his greatest reward, and he knows he’s lucky to have you in his life. you’re not just his love—you’re his future, his hope, and his reason to keep striving for something better.

congrats on making it to the end! if you enjoyed this, likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated—they help motivate me to keep creating and sharing!

[hayatheauthor]

How to Write Relatable Characters: A Writer’s Guide

Relatable characters are the lifeblood of any compelling story. They're the ones readers root for, cry with, and remember long after they've turned the last page. But what exactly makes a character relatable? Why do some characters feel like old friends, while others fall flat? 

In this guide, I’ll walk you through the key elements that contribute to creating characters that resonate with readers on a personal level. From building a strong backstory to crafting authentic dialogue, this blog will equip you with the tools to create vivid, compelling, and believable characters that will captivate your readers and add depth to your narrative.

1. Understanding Relatability

Definition: What Makes a Character Relatable?

A relatable character is one that readers can connect with on a personal level. This connection might stem from shared experiences, emotions, values, or even flaws. Relatability is about creating a character who feels real—someone who could exist in the reader’s world, or even in their own life.

Importance: Why Relatable Characters Matter

Relatable characters are crucial because they engage the reader emotionally. When readers see a piece of themselves in a character, they become invested in that character’s journey. This investment is what drives readers to keep turning pages, eager to see how the character will overcome their challenges or achieve their goals.

Connection to Audience: How Relatability Creates Reader Engagement

Relatability bridges the gap between fiction and reality. When readers connect with a character, they experience the story on a deeper, more personal level. This connection makes the story more memorable and impactful, as readers are more likely to empathize with the character’s struggles and triumphs.

2. Building a Strong Backstory

Personal History: Adding Depth and Relatability

A well-crafted backstory is essential for creating depth in a character. It’s the foundation that shapes who they are, how they think, and how they react to the world around them. A character’s past experiences, upbringing, and the events that shaped their life provide context for their actions and decisions in the story.

Key Elements of a Backstory

Family and Upbringing: The influence of family, culture, and environment on the character’s development.

Past Traumas and Pivotal Events: Significant experiences that have left a lasting impact on the character.

Personal Motivations and Desires: The underlying drives that push the character forward.

Examples of Effective Backstories

Consider Harry Potter’s backstory: growing up as an orphan, mistreated by his aunt and uncle, and discovering he’s a wizard. This backstory not only explains his initial naivety and longing for acceptance but also makes his journey into the wizarding world all the more compelling.

3. Developing Flaws and Imperfections

Humanizing Characters Through Flaws

Perfect characters are boring. Flaws make characters human and relatable. They allow readers to see themselves in the character, imperfections and all. Flaws create tension and conflict, driving the character’s growth and development throughout the story.

Common Character Flaws

Insecurity: A character’s self-doubt can lead to relatable internal conflicts.

Fear: Whether it’s fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown, fear is a powerful motivator.

Pride: Excessive pride can lead to mistakes, making the character’s journey more complex.

Balancing Flaws with Strengths

While flaws are essential, it’s important to balance them with strengths to avoid making the character too unlikeable. A character’s strengths should complement their flaws, creating a well-rounded and realistic individual. For example, a character might be stubborn (a flaw) but also incredibly determined (a strength).

4. Creating Emotional Depth

Internal Conflicts and Emotional Complexity

Relatable characters often face internal struggles that mirror real-life emotions and dilemmas. These internal conflicts add layers to the character, making them more complex and interesting. Readers are drawn to characters who experience a range of emotions, from joy and love to anger and despair.

Techniques for Showing Emotional Journey

Dialogue: Use conversations to reveal a character’s feelings and thoughts.

Internal Monologue: Dive into the character’s mind to explore their inner turmoil.

Actions: Show emotions through the character’s reactions to situations.

Creating Reader Empathy

To create empathy, your character needs to be vulnerable. Show their fears, hopes, and insecurities. Let readers see the character at their lowest points, struggling to overcome challenges. This emotional journey is what will resonate with readers, making them feel invested in the character’s fate.

5. Crafting Authentic Dialogue

Realistic Speech Patterns

Authentic dialogue is crucial for making characters relatable. People don’t always speak in perfect sentences or with flawless grammar. They interrupt, hesitate, and sometimes say the wrong thing. Capturing these nuances in dialogue helps make your characters feel real.

Voice and Tone

Each character should have a unique voice that reflects their personality, background, and emotional state. A character’s tone can convey their attitude, whether they’re sarcastic, serious, or playful. Paying attention to how your characters speak can add depth and authenticity to their interactions.

Dialogue as a Window into Character

Dialogue is a powerful tool for revealing character traits, flaws, and emotions. For example, a character who speaks in short, clipped sentences might be guarded or angry, while one who rambles might be nervous or insecure. Use dialogue to show, rather than tell, what your characters are feeling and thinking.

6. Relating Through Common Experiences

Shared Struggles and Universal Experiences

One of the most effective ways to create relatable characters is by giving them experiences that resonate with readers. These can be universal struggles, such as dealing with loss, searching for identity, or falling in love. When readers see characters going through similar experiences, they’re more likely to connect with them.

Cultural and Social Touchpoints

Characters can also relate to readers through cultural references or social issues. This could be anything from navigating family traditions to dealing with societal expectations. Incorporating these elements into your character’s life can make them more relatable to readers from similar backgrounds.

Examples of Characters Relating Through Shared Experiences

Consider Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Her experiences of navigating societal expectations and family pressures are relatable to readers, even centuries after the book was written. Her wit and independence make her a character that many can see themselves in, despite the historical setting.

7. Avoiding Stereotypes and Clichés

Unique Characterization

While some character traits may be common, it’s important to avoid reducing your characters to stereotypes or clichés. Stereotypes can make characters feel one-dimensional and unoriginal. Instead, aim to create characters with unique, multi-faceted personalities that go beyond surface-level traits.

Subverting Expectations

One way to avoid clichés is to subvert reader expectations. For example, instead of making the “tough” character emotionally distant, show their softer side. Or, instead of the “nerdy” character being socially awkward, make them confident and charismatic. Subverting these stereotypes can create more interesting and relatable characters.

Writing Diverse Characters with Authenticity

When writing characters from diverse backgrounds, it’s crucial to do so with respect and authenticity. Avoid relying on stereotypes and instead, research and understand the nuances of the culture, experiences, and perspectives you’re portraying. Diverse characters should be as complex and fully realized as any other character in your story.

8. Giving Characters Agency and Growth

Active vs. Passive Characters

Relatable characters are often those who take control of their own destinies. Active characters make decisions, face consequences, and drive the story forward. On the other hand, passive characters who simply react to events can feel less engaging and relatable.

Character Arcs

A well-developed character arc shows how a character changes over time. This growth can be in response to internal conflicts, external challenges, or both. A character who evolves in a believable way is more likely to resonate with readers.

Growth and Change

Show your character learning from their experiences, whether it’s overcoming a fear, letting go of pride, or learning to trust others. This growth makes characters more dynamic and relatable, as readers witness their journey from start to finish.

9. Testing Relatability: Beta Readers and Feedback

Beta Readers

Beta readers are an invaluable resource for testing the relatability of your characters. They can provide feedback on whether your characters feel authentic and engaging. They can also point out any areas where the character’s actions or dialogue might seem out of place or unrelatable.

Character Surveys

Consider creating character surveys or questionnaires for your beta readers. These can include questions about the character’s likability, believability, and relatability. The feedback you receive can help you refine your characters and ensure they resonate with your audience.

Revisions

Use the feedback from beta readers to make necessary revisions to your characters. This might involve tweaking dialogue, deepening backstory, or adjusting character arcs. Revising with a focus on enhancing relatability can significantly improve the impact of your story.

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Quillology with Haya Sameer; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors! While you’re at it, don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey! 

[criticalcrusherbot]

Messy but Meaningful: Challenging Pop Psychology’s Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships in Fandom Spaces

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

The growing tendency in fandom spaces to apply pop-psychology frameworks to fictional relationships—such as Blitz and Stolas’s relationship in Helluva Boss—often oversimplifies the complexities of real-life human dynamics. While using psychological language to analyze media can deepen understanding, it can also lead to reductive and rigid interpretations of relationships. For the sake of argument, if Blitz and Stolas were real people, the expectation that both must be fully healed, emotionally stable, and entirely self-assured before engaging in a relationship reflects an unrealistic and idealized view of mental health and interpersonal growth.

The Myth of Complete Healing

One of the most common misconceptions in pop psychology is the belief that individuals must achieve complete emotional healing before they can engage in healthy relationships. This idea, while well-meaning, is rooted in an overly simplistic view of personal development. From a psychological perspective, healing and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Life circumstances, relationships, and personal challenges continually shape and reshape our mental and emotional landscapes.

Attachment theory, for example, suggests that relationships can be powerful arenas for healing. According to John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment dynamics are formed in early childhood but can be reshaped in adulthood through secure and supportive relationships. Blitz’s and Stolas’s relationship, though imperfect, demonstrates how mutual care and connection can provide opportunities for growth. Stolas’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable and Blitz’s gradual acceptance of his feelings suggest that their bond is helping each of them confront their emotional barriers, even if they’re not “finished” healing.

Relationships as Sites of Growth

Instead of requiring complete emotional stability as a prerequisite for relationships, many psychological frameworks view relationships as places where healing and growth can occur. In Helluva Boss, Blitz and Stolas’s dynamic reflects this principle. Their relationship, while messy and fraught with misunderstandings, provides opportunities for them to confront their vulnerabilities and develop healthier patterns of intimacy.

This idea aligns with Carl Rogers’s humanistic approach to psychology, which emphasizes the importance of relationships in fostering self-actualization. Rogers argued that empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are key ingredients for personal growth—and these qualities often emerge in relationships. While Blitz and Stolas struggle with these elements at times, their efforts to connect and communicate demonstrate a willingness to grow together.

The Role of Imperfection in Relationships

Pop-psychology discourse often pathologizes imperfection, labeling any relationship that involves conflict, miscommunication, or emotional baggage as “toxic.” However, conflict is not inherently harmful; it’s how individuals navigate and resolve conflict that determines the health of a relationship. Psychologist John Gottman’s research on marital stability highlights that even successful relationships involve conflict. The difference lies in whether partners approach disagreements with respect, empathy, and a willingness to repair after mistakes.

In the context of Blitz and Stolas, their struggles with power dynamics, vulnerability, and communication do not automatically render their relationship toxic. Rather, their willingness to acknowledge and address these issues—such as Stolas’s attempts to give Blitz more autonomy with the Asmodean crystal or Blitz’s growing emotional openness—suggests a dynamic that is evolving toward greater mutual understanding.

Realistic Expectations for Healing and Change

The expectation that adults must be fully healed and self-assured before entering relationships also neglects the reality that personal growth often occurs within relationships. Social learning theory emphasizes how individuals learn and adapt through observation and interaction. Relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting areas for growth and offering opportunities to practice new behaviors. For Blitz, his interactions with Stolas force him to confront his fear of vulnerability and his tendency to self-sabotage. For Stolas, being with Blitz challenges his understanding of intimacy and forces him to step beyond his royal privilege to engage in genuine emotional connection.

It’s also worth noting that personal growth is non-linear. Progress often involves setbacks, missteps, and moments of doubt. Relationships do not have to be perfect to be worthwhile or beneficial. The process of working through challenges together can strengthen bonds and foster deeper connection.

Rejecting Pop-Psychology Absolutism

The pop-psychologization of fandom spaces often reduces complex dynamics to overly rigid binaries: healthy/unhealthy, secure/insecure, toxic/healing. While these frameworks can offer insights, they risk ignoring the nuance of real-life relationships. Humans are messy, imperfect, and constantly evolving—and so are their relationships. Holding fictional characters (or real people) to unrealistic standards of emotional perfection perpetuates an unhelpful narrative that growth must be completed in isolation, rather than as a collaborative process.

Blitz and Stolas exemplify the idea that relationships can be messy but meaningful. They are imperfect individuals navigating their own traumas and insecurities, yet they are also actively working toward better understanding themselves and each other. This dynamic reflects a more realistic and compassionate view of relationships, one that acknowledges growth as a shared journey rather than a prerequisite for connection.

Conclusion

Expecting individuals to achieve complete healing before engaging in relationships is both unrealistic and at odds with what we know about human development. Relationships, particularly those marked by care and effort, can serve as powerful spaces for growth, healing, and transformation. Blitz and Stolas’s evolving bond in Helluva Boss illustrates this beautifully, showing that imperfection does not preclude progress. By challenging the rigid expectations of pop psychology, we can embrace a more nuanced understanding of relationships—both fictional and real—that values growth, vulnerability, and the shared journey of becoming better together.

[loveemagicpeace]

North node in Pisces & South Node in Virgo🦋🧜🏼‍♀️☁️

Pisces is a signs that is the most dreamy, illusional. You can expect a lot of things to be very spiritual. People can talk a lot more about mental health and things that are not seen. You will be much more committed to your world and to believing in something you believe in more.

*Sparkles ,shiny things, ocean, crystals, magical things, cakes, nostalgia, just vibing alone by the river ,listening to the music, cute things, hugs, hopeless romantic things. *

Love that is expressed in a much more selfless way. During this time, you can meet many people with whom you share a more magical path. Soulmates type of vibes. Love can become different, unconditional and sacrificial. During this time, you can sacrifice more for the people you love. Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind type of love. Messy things, white dress with crystals. Having magical days. Connecting with your inner self, meditating, getting to know your subconscious. Sunsets & Sunrise. Magical path to stars. Finding imperfections in everything and loving it. With the North Node in Pisces, we're drawn to go deeper, beyond the obvious. Finding meaning in life is essential.

Feeling fulfilled and connected to the universe is incredibly important. Searching for answers beyond what's visible or measurable is a fundamental human drive. We are learning that it is okay not to have an answer, it is okay not to understand what is going on, it is okay not to know exactly where we are going. Just going with the flow - the fool (tarot card) journey. Things don't have to be logical or make any sense. Just you knowing and believing that this things exist it is enough. Believe in magic.

South node in Virgo

Forgetting what hard work feels like forgetting everything, not being perfect. Change the routine you have had so far and follow your body more closely. Give up the work you've been doing so far and take a new, better path. Wear something you feel comfortable in and don't wear something just to please others or to look good. Eat healthier foods. It will help you release the need to micromanage and over-analyze. This opens space for creativity and emotional connection. And there's no rush! Doing things more slowly.

In Virgo, the South Node's focus will be to clear up the path so we can actually make progress and navigate effectively. It could also mean exploring different approaches to diet and exercise. Instead, it encourages us to find ways of adjusting our lifestyle that feel natural and sustainable for our unique needs. We're likely to see shifts in how we run our lives and operate on a day-to-day basis.

The South Node in Virgo is an invitation to release the excessive need for control, perfectionism, and rigid planning, while still appreciating the value of order, organization, and effort. This combination of energies reflects a general inclination towards overthinking, overanalyzing, and overworrying. Ultimately, this transit teaches us to let go of impossible ideals and expectations, accept our humanness, and acknowledge the beauty in imperfection.

If u have nodes reversed

The nodes in reverse transit challenge you to revisit the lessons of your North Node (Virgo) while simultaneously confronting the patterns of your South Node (Pisces). Virgo north node in chart-Your soul's growth path is about practicality, organization, discernment, and service. You're here to refine your boundaries and embrace the material world, focusing on creating tangible results.

South Node in Pisces: Your comfort zone involves spirituality, imagination, escapism, and an emotional connection to the collective. In past lives (or earlier in this life), you may have avoided practical concerns or become too absorbed in dreams and emotions.

You might feel drawn to spiritual practices, artistic expression, or moments of surrender. This is an opportunity to reconnect with your intuitive side and integrate it into your life without losing your grounded focus. Your Virgo North Node lessons may temporarily take a backseat as you're asked to reflect on whether your pursuit of order and practicality is serving your highest good—or if it's become rigid or overbearing. Themes of sacrifice, forgiveness, and emotional boundaries may come up. Be cautious of falling back into self-sacrificing patterns (South Node in Pisces) but remain open to deep emotional connection. This is an ideal time to deepen meditation, explore creative outlets (like poetry, music, or painting), or connect with mystical experiences.

The nodes in reverse transit challenge you to revisit the lessons of your North Node (Virgo) while simultaneously confronting the patterns of your South Node (Pisces). Virgo north node in chart-Your soul's growth path is about practicality, organization, discernment, and service. You're here to refine your boundaries and embrace the material world, focusing on creating tangible results.

South Node in Pisces: Your comfort zone involves spirituality, imagination, escapism, and an emotional connection to the collective. In past lives (or earlier in this life), you may have avoided practical concerns or become too absorbed in dreams and emotions.

You might feel drawn to spiritual practices, artistic expression, or moments of surrender. This is an opportunity to reconnect with your intuitive side and integrate it into your life without losing your grounded focus. Your Virgo North Node lessons may temporarily take a backseat as you're asked to reflect on whether your pursuit of order and practicality is serving your highest good—or if it's become rigid or overbearing. Themes of sacrifice, forgiveness, and emotional boundaries may come up. Be cautious of falling back into self-sacrificing patterns (South Node in Pisces) but remain open to deep emotional connection. This is an ideal time to deepen meditation, explore creative outlets (like poetry, music, or painting), or connect with mystical experiences.

For Rising Signs

Aries Rising: The North Node in Pisces will activate your 12th house, urging you to embrace spiritual growth, solitude, and deep introspection. It's a time to let go of control and trust the unseen forces of the universe. The South Node in Virgo in your 6th house will challenge you to release perfectionism in your daily routines and work habits while balancing your need for practical organization with intuitive flow.

Taurus Rising: The North Node in Pisces highlights your 11th house, focusing on spiritual connections, dreams, and your role in the collective. You may feel drawn to compassionate friendships and humanitarian efforts. The South Node in Virgo in your 5th house asks you to release overcritical tendencies in your creative expression or love life and to embrace joy without judgment.

Gemini Rising: The North Node in Pisces will activate your 10th house, asking you to align your career with your higher purpose and to trust your intuition in professional matters. The South Node in Virgo in your 4th house invites you to let go of the need for control in family dynamics or home life and to create a balance between work and emotional grounding.

Cancer Rising: With the North Node in Pisces in your 9th house, you're encouraged to explore spiritual teachings, higher learning, and the bigger picture of life. Let your intuition guide you toward personal growth. The South Node in Virgo in your 3rd house asks you to release overthinking and excessive focus on small details in communication and daily interactions.

Leo Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 8th house brings transformation, deep emotional healing, and a focus on spiritual intimacy. You're encouraged to surrender to the mysteries of life and trust in rebirth. The South Node in Virgo in your 2nd house challenges you to let go of material security or overly analytical approaches to finances, focusing instead on emotional and spiritual wealth.

Virgo Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 7th house shifts your focus toward spiritual partnerships and relationships based on compassion and unconditional love. It's a time to open your heart and trust in deeper connections. The South Node in Virgo in your ist house asks you to release self-critical tendencies and embrace a more intuitive approach to your identity.

Libra Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 6th house brings attention to holistic healing, spiritual practices, and service to others. You're invited to align your daily routines with emotional and spiritual well-being. The South Node in Virgo in your 12th house urges you to release guilt, overthinking, and tendencies to self-sacrifice behind the scenes.

Scorpio Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 5th house encourages you to explore creativity, romance, and joy with a spiritual or imaginative touch. It's time to embrace vulnerability in self-expression. The South Node in Virgo in your 11th house challenges you to release overly critical judgments of your social circle and to embrace a more compassionate view of friendships and group dynamics.

Sagittarius Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 4th house highlights emotional healing, spiritual connection to your roots, and finding peace in your private life. It's a time to create a sanctuary for your soul. The South Node in Virgo in your 10th house asks you to let go of perfectionism in your career or public image and to prioritize inner fulfillment over external validation.

Capricorn Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 3rd house inspires intuitive communication, spiritual learning, and imaginative thinking. Trust your instincts in how you share ideas. The South Node in Virgo in your 9th house challenges you to release rigid belief systems or overanalyzing philosophical concepts, encouraging a more fluid approach to personal growth

Aquarius Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 2nd house invites you to align your values with compassion, spirituality, and emotional richness. It's a time to trust your intuition in financial matters. The South Node in Virgo in your 8th house encourages you to let go of obsessive control over shared resources or deep emotional entanglements and to embrace trust and flow.

Pisces Rising: The North Node in Pisces in your 1st house calls you to embrace your spiritual identity, intuitive gifts, and compassionate leadership. It's a time of self-discovery and authenticity. The South Node in Virgo in your 7th house asks you to release overcritical tendencies in relationships and to allow partnerships to flow with grace and understanding.

-Rebekah🦋☁️🧜🏼‍♀️

[ratindividual]

As someone with a mild disability to the knee and can't walk very long without feeling pain all through the leg and hip, people saying Viktor's own is a flaw and need to be cured asap because it's painful kinda misses the point of it all.

When Jayce said this:

He's not saying Viktor shouldn't have tried to find a cure to the pain or any ailment, he is saying Viktor was not flawed because he is disabled, which is what Viktor think.

"[...] what you thought were weaknesses." this is important to note, Jayce here doesn't share the same sentiment, he does not think it as a weakness, but part of a whole package that comes with someone (in that case, Viktor) Jayce took him like he was, and adored him.

A weakness is something you need to destroy before it gets to you, and sometimes, you will do unspeakable things to achieve it.

Viktor was never broken, imperfections make who he is, and by definition, makes every human.

Perfection does not exist, it is our emotions, our contradictions, our differences that make it incredible, human being are messy by design, we are a collectivity of incredibly diverse people and deserve respect!

It is not a flaw, it's a condition he lives with, which makes him singular, and that same disability constructed who he is, too: his drive, his mind, his resilience, his care and utter empathy for others, which are traits that Jayce admire most of it all!!! He says it himself:

It is his heart, his humanity, everything that Viktor think as a nuisance, that Jayce wants to preserve. He loves him for it, instead of despite it, and he finds him beautiful, both physically and mentally, it was never a question for him!

His unwavering compassion to push further, his ambitions, because he loves him. Jayce is an emotional, empathetic man, he values connection above all, and he understands.

He's saying Viktor has always been perfect to him because of it all. We humans are flawed, this is the inevitability of being conscious and alive.

Which is why this, this is very important:

Jayce knows Viktor, at this point, had lost his way. Empathy cannot work under the false prism of selflessness if it makes you believe that choice is an illusion, thus making it for others.

Jayce believes in choices, and knows that the people Viktor saves are, by proxy, unable to have any agency over their own fate, which is exactly the most important theme going on with Viktor throughout all two seasons. Viktor wants to take back control over his own self, while simultaneously pushing this on others who need help too.

I am convinced Jayce would have been more than fine with Viktor tweaking himself because he wants it, he was on board in season 1, he actually made the change himself in a misguided attempt to save the man he loves at the start of season 2. (which is very interesting, considering his feelings made him do something he himself sanctions such as resurrecting his soulmate, I love his contradictions so much)

He understands the desperation, the want to have a better life. But he doesn't want it to strip other's people individuality and Viktor's own sense of self, ripping his heart out for the sake of flawlessness.

He knows, too, the price of the perfect world Viktor wants to create. An endless loop of loneliness, mourning a man that is but a shell of himself, conscious through the hive but not him. His essence gone. A cross too heavy to bear.

And yet, Jayce never stopped loved him, never stopped fighting for him to understand how much he values him and respects him, worshiping the literal ground under his feet!!

Even in his godly form, he is head over heels for him!!! Look at how Viktor looks!! While talking face to face with this Eldritch incarnation, he remembers how Viktor used to look down memory lane, and it was still as majestic and grandiose, even!

It's why he confesses in the first place. He is in love with him through it all. His body changed, but it is still Viktor. He loves him wholly, every part of him! No matter where it takes them, no matter what he looks like.

Jayce loves Viktor with everything he has and no matter what comes their way. An unwavering, tangible loyalty.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

finding a lover ౨ৎ

this are some general readings focused on what could be blocking your path towards finding romantic love. sometimes we want something we are not ready to be responsible for, this happens in all aspects of life but we are less aware of it when it comes to love and relationships, as we are usually made to believe we are single because we are unworthy or incapable of love. everyone is worthy and capable of love, but sometimes we are not all that sure about what love itself means or what ways of loving are the best for us.

pick a pile...

pile one. pile two. pile three.

dividers by @aquazero

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

౨ৎ

౨ৎ

°❀⋆Pile Number One.ೃ࿔*:･

In your case, I see that love will find you whenever you begin facing that the person you are now, does not align with the ideas of love you’ve had in the past. I see you are in the process of deconstructing old beliefs that are keeping you tied to old ideals and values that no longer serve you, but are still present on your unconscious bias. It is understandable that you might be having a hard time to conceive new notions of what love means for you, as you might be more comfortable clinging to what’s comfortable, yet this comfort doesn’t come exactly from a state of wellbeing, but it comes from stagnant routines that are predictable. In order to have an easier time finding romantic love, you need to embrace and accept the emotions you fear whenever it’s possible by focusing on being grateful to yourself for the life developments you were capable to achieve on your own. It is important that when you think of your higher self, this version is coherent to your true essence, which is exactly what will bring love to you once you find a genuine way of channelling it out. I think you are in a moment where you will become more magnetic to love, but also material abundance, if you find where your intuition is leading your journey.

°❀⋆Pile Number Two.ೃ࿔*:･

I see here that logical thinking and an intellectualization of all feelings in general is obstructing your ability to connect deeper with people. I believe that sometimes you find value in your emotions only if they make sense to your logic or if they seem rational in regards to your context. In your case it’s key that you have the patience and the willpower to nurture the emotional landscape that you might be limiting due to anxiety in regards to “keeping it cool” or keeping your emotional responses “under control”. It’s almost as if love has to make sense all the time. As if you won’t allow yourself to feel good unless it’s from something that you are able to over analyze and find no illogical imperfections to it. I think you understand what you want from romantic love but only in a way that’s lead by your intellectual needs and a need for control over yourself and your surroundings, not in a way that includes your emotional needs or development. I see there’s a need for peace of mind, and romantic love doesn’t quite favour that since you are naively approaching as if it was something mechanical, which is not. The key for you is to accept that certain parts of the human experience are quite absurd and that doesn’t mean you need to fix them in order to be happy, you are smart, too smart to not allow your mind to find peace.

°❀⋆Pile Number Three.ೃ࿔*:･

What I get from these cards is that you are so ready to feel defeated, that you lower your expectations and/or self sabotage to avoid the responsibilities and demands of accomplishing the things you deserve, but are not ready to accept and take care of yet. I get the feeling you are aware of all your virtues because other people tell you about them, but you are not seeing them in yourself. It is okay to be ambitious, what’s not okay is that you might be always looking for the best next accomplishment in ways that are not coherent to what you already have achieved. It’s almost as if wanting everything to be perfect is stopping you from imperfections that aren’t actually all that negative, or not negative at all. Romantic love will come to you when you are ready to create a relationship that’s meaningful even if there are things that are not completely perfect. I think it’s amazing that you have high expectations for yourself and sometimes for others, but I need you to reflect on what a high expectation is and what an unrealistic one is, especially with yourself. I get the feeling you are attracting people who are not exactly what you need or want, but this will stop once you are truly aware of how deserving you are to be proud and confident in yourself

masterpost ✶ pac readings ✶ ko-fi page ✶

⋆bookings for personal readings are open ཐིཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

[iamintoomanyfandomsistg]

I just realised another reason why Jegulus works so well.

Regulus is deeply aware of the darkness within himself and his profound depression. He feels trapped in a world where he knows only darkness and struggles to find any light.

James, in contrast, only knows how to be happy. He refuses to allow himself to feel sad and constantly gives more of himself, desperately wanting to be wanted

This is where their relationship works.

James helps Regulus accept love into his life, showing him the light and happiness that others have failed to reveal. Unlike everyone else who has simply accepted Regulus's emotional state, James manages to break through his emotional walls and offer genuine connection.

Equally important, Regulus helps James accept that he can have bad days too. He demonstrates that to experience light, one must also acknowledge darkness, helping James truly accept every part of himself. While others place James on a pedestal, viewing him as perpetually happy, noble, and reliable, Regulus looks at him eye-to-eye, showing James that he is human—with vulnerabilities and imperfections—and not just a being existing solely to meet everyone else's needs.

They help eachother so much, they truly are two halves of one heart.