#imo it’s out of character for both of them and in my head part of the reason elliot leaves is to resist the temptation
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space-blue · 17 hours ago
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I still cant wrap my head around how vi eventually joined enforcers after years spent in prison and cop brutalities she experienced first hand. I’d try to rationalize it but The only logical reason i can think of is because of Cait and vi’s bias towards her that influenced her to join enforcers
I think, the issue that Arcane presents with Vi is one of archetypes.
Some fans have a tendency, even in my own posts notes, to defend and construct Vi as a real person. But she isn't. She's a fully fictional character, part of the great human art of storytelling.
I think that the issue at hand is that Vi's story as depicted in Arcane, doesn't follow very normal/standard/popular archetypes.
Her backstory is that her and her family are relentlessly harmed by cops, she spends half her teenage years in the worst prison. It would be a great backstory for someone like say, SILCO!!! Someone who goes on to hate Piltover and go to great and terrible lengths to oppose and fight them.
Transitioning her to her "game end state" is extremely hard, because her in-game status is that of a cop who polices her own people for Piltover;s sheriff. Ekko has barks that call her out for betraying Zaun. Vi used to have barks that were police brutality jokes. She has art where she's a US like donught eating cop. It's a vibe, and not a vibe that screams "I was abused by police my entire life!"
In the show we're not there yet, and we may not even go there at all (I'm of the opinion that if they make her Vander 2.0 it'll be more palatable and also provide a new skin to rack the money in with.)
But the transition is pretty brutal because they hurried to sell us on a Caitvi romance in season 1.
I think more people now are feeling iffy about Vi's actions because she goes along with the whole gassing operation, but IMO it is consistant with what we see from her in season 1. I'll explain.
I've seen the argument around that she only joins because the other option would be worse and she's basically a limiter for Cait, but no, sorry, she could argue with Cait for Zaun's protection, and be happy she decides on a smaller strike force while being horrified/opposed to the use of the Gray. She could be grateful Cait reduces her actions and still refuse to join her. She could not kiss her in the pipes while they probably both smell of mustard gas lol.
All of Vi's actions put together depict a picture so far, out of 12 episodes, and that picture just isn't very heroic or very nice. It's also very much not archetypal, so it's a lot more unpredictable. Some of her fans also have a tendency of defending her every action instead of embracing the darkness we see peeking through, which muddies the waters.
But I'm now pretty comfortable in my assessment that she's a good Vander 2.0.
She had a hard and broken childhood, ends up hardening and getting skills in prison, but not class consciousness. This isn't shocking, because Silco is taking over Zaun, and she hates that everyone seems to be working for him. Vi has zero awareness that her young self and Silco share the exact same goals (a Zaun that's not inferior to Piltover, where someone like Powder could live happy and safe).
Worse, Vi has her priorities all mixed up. The story is just complex and human. Vi is forced to raise Powder and also lead Claggor and Mylo her entire childhood. That's not great... She basically didn't get to be a child at all. Vander put a shit ton of responsibilities on her. We know from the Enemy video that she was pretty rough at times, which is a realistic depiction of a kid struggling under a lot of pressure in a rough environment. Then the sister who is so difficult to care for goes and kills the whole family seconds before they could all escape, the blow is dealt, they're separated…
And when freed, Vi has now 3 things on her mind:
-find her sister,
-kill Silco and destroy his operation/get revenge,
-and, oh wow that cop lady sure is hot!
Rescuing Zaun from Piltover is nowhere in her head. She complains about the Lanes having easily fallen to Silco, but at no point does the show hint that Vi may have greater goals of rescuing the Lanes from Silco.
Despite Vander's dying wish being "Take care of Powder", Vi's priority list is spoken right to Silco's face: She's going to find Jinx and undo what he's done to her head, but FIRST she will dismantle his business. Like, do you think Vander would be good with that agenda? lol
And don't come into my comments to argue that she's only saying this because she's facing Silco. Vi follows up by hitting Silco's factories and then wiping out the Last Drop and beating Sevika. Let's not forget name dropping her sister to the Council.
Saving Powder just ISN'T HER PRIORITY!!!
So what is her main drive? If it is "getting revenge" then the enemy of her enemy is her friend. Ekko, and Cait.
Vi going to Ekko's Firelight hideout and not becoming an instant member and not returning to them after season 1 also speaks VOLUMES about her priorities and her lack of "belonging" within Zaun.
You'd think she doesn't feel at home in the Lanes but may want to join and help the Firelights, right? They're the hope of Zaun… They're against Silco. But no. In season 2 she remains with Cait, hanging out awkwardly at her palatial home.
She goes and drinks in the street rather than seeking out the Firelights to see if they are fine or if she can help. As far as we can tell, she never saw Ekko after he took a bullet for Cait's plans and then a bomb to the face to stall Jinx!
So she just doesn't have any sense of home, any attachment to Zaun as a place or concept, despite being raised in it. She has resentment for Piltover and enforcers, but not enough to not fall for Cait and bend her principles. She cares for her family, but when it becomes complicated and difficult, she caves and changes her mind. She's also all talk about killing Jinx. She just can't, and after 2 missed opportunities, Cait is also mega fed up with it xD
Now Vi is going to go destroy her life with booze while rising and falling in the pits as a fighter. Then, from the trailers, seems like she'll get her shit together and fight Noxus.
I think in that way she's a Vander-esque character.
Rough start in life. Very angry. Prone to punch first ask later. Then, lacking guidance, they latch onto someone who is happy to give them direction (Silco/Cait). Then comes a breaking point (whatever triggered the drowning of Silco/Cait dumping Vi after the Jinx fight) and they switch to other occupations (running the Lanes/Pit fighting) and this is followed by another trigger that produces their end state as a collaborator (The bridge and adopting the girls/Whatever will happen fighting Noxus).
I think Vi can be given the space to basically gain a healthier view of Piltover (as an occupying force that can't be trusted for Zaun), while also being close to an enforcer for the good of Zaun (Vander worked with Grayson, Vi can work with Cait after Zaun becomes independent).
Vander is also a very flawed character. Lots of fans like to just see him as a sweet loving daddy, but he's a brutal killer who runs a racket business in the undercity lmao. We first meet him killing a man with his gauntlets, and the second scene he's threatening 2 people of death if they don't behave on his turf. Vander lacks the incentive that Shimmer is, so you bet your ass he was staying in power because "hound of the underground" had a gnarly reputation. Even foreigners know him by name.
He's the guy who was insane and violent enough to coldly drown his best friend with his bare hands. And let's not project any fanon here: He straight up apologises to Silco, says he's always regretted his actions, never says he was justified, and never contests Silco calling his actions a "betrayal".
Vander BETRAYED Silco, who trusted him. And Vander tells us he respected Silco, everyone did!
If we saw his arc live before us, I fucking bet it would be as swivelly and mystifying as Vi's. Poor slum kid becomes second in command to fanatical Zaun wannabe leader and revolutionary, creates the Lanes with him, then betrays him by trying to drown him with his bare hands, then takes over the business alone, hides his injuries, then leads a revolt due to some unknown inciting incident, then adopts kids, keeps running a smuggling/racket/protection business, whatever it is, while also collaborating with enforcers in secret, before being killed when his demons catch up with him???
I'm sure there's plenty of moments on such a journey that would make people scratch their heads. It's not very archetypal either.
And as a result Vi also only work if you see her outside archetypes. She's not an abused kid turned revolutionary, Silco style. Or abused kid turned freedom fighter/gang leader, Ekko style. She's not a very good sister, never was, never could be, simply from her circumstances. She's not super loyal because she has pretty weak principles. She's not driven by a strong sense of justice. She gives her word, then goes back on it. Acts strong and talks big and then buckles. And Cait can't have that, since it gets in the way of killing Jinx twice now.
Vi is mostly self interested, and driven by revenge and anger. Now that Silco is dead and revenge obtained, she's falling back on her sweetheart, and her lack of strong principles or loyalty show again, like in scenes where a bit of buttering up make her accept an enforcer badge.
I fully disagree with people who try to tell me she takes the job to protect Zaun! She takes it because she realises how much it would mean to Cait, and she has NOTHING BETTER TO DO with herself. She should be joining Ekko, at a minimum, but she isn't loyal to Zaun and isn't out there to save it. She cares about her family, but this only manifests in her being incapable to actually kill Jinx.
And like, it's OKAY!! Personally I'm okay with that.
I think Vi still has 6 episodes to gain a real, strong conviction, the way Vander did with the kids. And I'm also okay if that ends up being as a collaborator to Piltover. I would have written things differently because I think a longer and more non-romantic build up of trust and care with Cait would have been more beneficial, but I'm liking where things are going, because I've written Vi off as a good character.
She's very grey, and pitiable, but not sympathetic in her choices. A lot like Jinx, too. Jinx is just too cruel and sadistic to be sympathetic, but she's very pitiable.
And neither of the girls' flaws are their fault. They are the by-product of Zaun, of generational trauma and abject poverty and oppression. They are the fucked up women created by Piltover's fucked up rule.
As always, it's all Heimerdinger's fault, and I'm a little frustrated to see him cheapen Ekko's character with his Jar Jar humour right now.
Anyway, that's a pretty long answer, sorry lol
I'm always happy to get Meta posts, so thanks a lot. Don't hesitate to reply and elaborate.
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humanveil · 2 years ago
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that pause after “i did” dragged on so much i for real felt my entire life flash before my eyes thinking they were gonna make eo fucking off screen canon.
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luselih · 7 months ago
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Another new tumblr page! Welcome welcome!
I was wondering your thoughts on some of the Bleach captains with a very petite s/o? Think like… 4’8 - 5’2 , teeny tiny lil things. Someone who “looks” frail at first glance. Is someone smaller their type? Would that factor into any pursuit? 👀 You can go into NSFW territory if you like, but I’d be happy with SFW too!
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miniature love(r) || gotei 13
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summary/ask: bleach captains with tiny/petite s/o! (height underneath 5’2 / 157 cm tall)
content warnings | manga spoilers!!, separated in sfw/nsfw, sfw- mostly fluff (a little bit of angst) and my personal opinions of them having tiny fem s/o, teasing, kissing and physical affection, mentions of kids and domestic life, i think that’s it for this part, nsfw - so smut of course (minors dni), fem! reader, neutral skin color reader, yapping too much about kinks ,size kink go BRRRRR, oral (receiving), different sex positions, wlw!!, overstimulation, breeding + pregnancy + kids mentioned, mentions after care + more…
a/n - #1 i am actually using tumblr last 3 years but i just recently got back into writing lol and you got my european ass to convert those feet’s and inches to centimeters, 😦 i am like 5’8-9 feet ( around 175 cm-ish tall ) so please if i didn’t get a good point in this writing im sorry 😭, didn’t write for old man Yama, sorry not sorry honestly, he’s best grandpa tho <3
#2 also to say i wrote for captains in that picture (start of tybw lineup) if you are interested in past/future captains please send me a request! i don’t mind doing them later on~ Toshiro is aged up (grown up/him using his complete bankai)!
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SFW!
Suì-Fēng is interesting one since she is not the tallest one (as tall as 150 cm (4'11")) definitely so she is leaning more into taller or at least average sized ones. However i don’t think she minds someone around her height, they can get each other struggles and solve then like you climbing on her shoulders to get a food from a high cabinet in a kitchen or gets in a tiny space together comfortably, yeah i think she is content with it!
Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi would like to have someone dandy on his side, dressing you up in fancy clothes and accessories. Having you as his dress up doll at home~ (sorry this is dry, i don’t like his characters that much lol)
Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana isn’t that tall either being 159 cm (5'2½") tall but her terrifying aura so there is no one pick on you and definitely not her in entire Seireitei so that’s nice <3 However i see her personal preference is someone taller but she also doesn’t mind having “a puppy” following her in free time ;)
Shinji Hirako, this little shit of a man would tease you till a day you die, picking on you as you are just trying to do your job or just passing by, he would put just get your paperwork and lift it that his lanky ass could reach and stuck his tongue out at you, eventually giving in and giving it back with a playful grin and a kiss on a side of your cheek as a apology, saying he won’t tease you again and then teasing you AGAIN not even an hour later 🤦‍♀️
Byakuya Kuchiki would honestly prefer someone who is tiny imo, that has already been proven right since he was with Hisana who is most likely same size as Rukia so there is no doubt. As a head of a clan he likes the feeling that his dearest could rely on him in anything, call it whatever you want but it brings him a sense of something he lost once and he is not planning to lose it again.
Sajin Komamura is TALLEST one 288 cm (9'5½") so as i said he would be probably more found of someone taller or average sized…however! that’s doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy having you around, in both of his forms he would carry you bridal style at late night hours or when Seireitei is empty so you two could have your time without having a fear of being judged or made fun of because of your appearances.
Shunsui Kyōraku, this man hoe likes every woman. He is a proud women lover. He loves any shape, size and complexion in women, he would absolutely adore having you close to him anywhere, especially in his bed late at night as he brushes your wedding rings together :)
Kensei Muguruma is on a more neutral side since i can see him wanting a tall and strong s/o he can fight and train with, but something in me is telling me that he’s a traditional man, he likes to be needed and wanted, be able to stood out in front of you proud, strong and straight to protect you.
Tōshirō Hitsugaya would finally be relieved that there is another person that is small, he’s so mf tiny that you are just maybe slightly taller than him anyway, in his true bankai form he’s around Byakuya’s height so he just might indulge himself into telling you a slight teasing comment, yeah i think he would like someone tiny to match him-
Kenpachi Zaraki would have a smaller s/o without a need for you to be smaller than an average woman in height, he’s like tall-tall, strong and intimidating compared with every race anyway. However i do have a feeling that he would like to have someone so dandy and small like Yachiru since she is a practically a part of his soul so he is found of tiny and cute things. Since his little Yachiru left ( :( ) you had become one who would sit on his shoulder as you two have to go anywhere, imo he probably wishes that one day if you two had a little kid together that it would be little girl who is his eyes is a little Yachiru who you two take care of, but this one have a little eyes just like yours and he likes that very much <3
Mayuri Kurotsuchi, this is weird one because i can see him not really having a type? He barely likes anyone, yet your tiny ass got underneath his skin and now you are here for him. Following him as you two raise Nemuri together, you 3 now looking like a real family!
Jūshirō Ukitake :( gosh i love him so much, anyway he is so nice with you, since you both are physically not very strong, it would make it easy but he fears he couldn’t protect you in time because of his fragile body :( yeah, can definitely see him with tiny s/o <3
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NSFW!
Suì-Fēng - i think she loves classic scissoring as you two play w each other’s clits, can’t go well with that one and also, just sit on her face when she’s angry and don’t you dare to put only 10 percents of your body weight on her, fucking sit on it like a chair and let her spend her big mouth on a good job between your legs~
Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi - into Dacryphilia, absolutely loves when you get all pretty and dolled up especially in tiny dress, Pretzel Dip or missionary as you cry from overstimulation, looking so ruined and perfect just for him <3
Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana - man, if you haven’t died when she showed a 8 inch strap up your vagina and fucked you like she hate your guts you are good 👍 anyway, she fucking loves when you ride her or when she puts you in a mating press, absolutely filthy as she splits in your mouth you just because. ( she had a secret breeding kink but shush 🤫 don’t say you heard it from me, also i got some trans!Unohana thoughs, anyone interested in hearing it? comment down please!)
Shinji Hirako - he’s such a meanie in bed too ☹️, i mean he would literally yank you back by your ankle and continue giving you head with his pierced tongue, gosh the overstimulation is crazyyyy with him. Absolutely loves snuggling after it and his hand sliding on your side gently as it went to tease your kitty cat AGAIN-
Byakuya Kuchiki - he must be in love w you if he brings you to his bed so missionary or any position where he can see your face and kiss it is a must, he makes love with you and genuinely only fuckes you if he is jealous or mad, probably have a savior kinks/hints of it sometimes + soft kisses down your back as he praises you after 🥹
Sajin Komamura - (human version) when you two have sex he can’t help but to have a need to make you his because of wolf genetics in him so pretzel dip or prone bone are his favorite positions to make your tiny mind mindless as he might just cums inside if you especially in spring 🤭
Shunsui Kyōraku - loves cowgirl/any version of it so he doesn’t have to do too much at least at the start, see you bouncing on top of his cook as it’s tip bullies your cervix is a fever dream, pressing against your lower back or tummy just for your pussy get a death grip on his dick, isn’t fully interested in pulling out so pregnancy is inevitable sooner or later my dear 🫡
Kensei Muguruma - he is a simple man so he goes doggy or full nelson, fucks to fucks and myb slightly into bondage?? absolutely makes you squirt by fingering you, hate sex??? he absolutely demolish your poor pussy if you flirt w Shinji or Rose, he will kiss your forehead after it tho <3
Tōshirō Hitsugaya - (grown up version) doesn’t have that high of a sex drive but he adores you so he indulge into your horny cravings of him, loves spooning or Scissoring (just mlw) so he can kiss your shoulders or forehead as he for sure makes you cum couple of times at end of the night, secretly loves cookwarming but shushhh 🫢
Kenpachi Zaraki - actually fuckes you in every position possible and everywhere you can imagine, loves stand and deliver (The Bicycle position) as he is chocking you while pounding into your tight kitty, your bodies only stability is his arm that you are gripping for dear life and yes, he isn’t pulling out since he say so <3
Mayuri Kurotsuchi - doesn’t have that high of sex drive but he would absolutely make you deepthroath his length if you are bratty enough, probably some doctor/patient roleplay, people of Seireitei are scared to see his genuine smile if they see a little girl with both of your features??
Jūshirō Ukitake - my sweet man can only had cow girl/variations + missionary sex position with you so he doesn’t finish too soon, absolutely PERFECT with his fingers and has a praise kink so absolutely praise the living shit out of him as you make love underneath the moonlight all night long so he can be happy <333
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officialspec · 8 months ago
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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in
heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter
first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality
he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations
his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people
he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly
that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case
the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons
from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends
hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang
falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless
instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will
sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though
marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle
i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her
senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill
adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand
i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way
chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly
izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)
i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay
shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right
kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves
(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)
i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman
i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him
namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this
and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him
THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual
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oikasugayama · 10 months ago
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Late happy new year!! First of all, I just wanna say that I LOOOOOOOVED ur akutagawa nsfw alphabet!! It was really in character imo especially cuz I've started simping for him a lot lately. Can I request an nsfw alphabet for Dazai??
Happy New Year!! Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it and I find it very satisfying that you thought it was in character!!! Hopefully I can do Dazai's NSFW alphabet the same justice :D
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Dazai honestly kind of fucking sucks at aftercare. It's not that he neglects you or pushes you away or anything, but he does the bare minimum because he's already in shut-down mode after using all his energy to fuck you nice and good. He'll cross his ankles and lay back with his hands behind his head, grinning up at the ceiling and you'll have to roll over and cling to his side and tell him to hold you. He does it happily, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head. “You were so good for me,” he whispers. “I can't wait to do that again.” It's nice but it's about all he does, letting you both fall asleep sweat-sticky and covered in cum. The showers in the morning are incredible, but the stains on the bedsheets are annoying.
His favorite body part is your tits. He likes that they fill his hand nicely. He likes playing with your nipples and making you whine. He likes just holding them and squishing them. He likes that he can look at them at absolutely any point in the day and they’re just pretty and nice and he can’t help it, he’s just a man, he likes boobies. He especially loves when you’re cuddling and you let him hold your boobs just for fun.
He’s an expert at making you cum on his tongue. He loves lapping it up and slurping it out of you and sucking it off his fingers. He doesn’t play that “it’s okay if I don’t cum” shit. You’re going to cum, especially if your past partners haven’t made you. He’s obsessive about his goal and he will pull out all the stops to make it happen. And when you go down on him, he sure likes when you swallow his cum but he won’t make you because he likes it just as much splattered across your face.
His dirty talk game is unparalleled. He’s a fucking demon. Part of what makes it so intense is that he’ll start it absolutely anywhere. It doesn’t matter if you’re at work, in public, with friends, on the phone, or at home in peace. If he wants to turn you on, or if he wants to fuck with you, he’ll use his low, calm voice and lean in so, so close. He’ll crowd into your space, slowly pull your hair back from your shoulder, tuck it behind your ear, and say something like “I bet Kunikida could use a lesson on how to eat pussy. Why don’t I spread you out on the table so we can teach him?”
He doesn’t talk about how experienced he is, but based on how skilled he is, there’s a good chance he’s had a lot of practice. He never confirms whether that’s the case, or if he’s just picked up all his tips and tricks through his vast study of human anatomy. If you expressed that it truly bothered you to not know, he’d confess that he’s actually not been with that many people and that yeah, he knows what to do because he studied extensively, but if you don’t ask he won’t tell. He likes to keep the suave facade.
His favorite position is pretzel (cartoon depiction). You both like how deep he can get in doggy, but he wants to see your face. Watching your reactions to what he does to you is his favorite part of fucking, so he found another position. You lay on your side with one leg in the air, he straddles your lower leg and fucks you from there--he loves it, he likes holding your leg and kissing it while getting balls deep and watching your eyes roll back as he fucks the deepest part of you.
He absolutely can be goofy in bed. Sometimes he’ll randomly stop all movement and start laughing, and you have to ask what happened, and he can have a range of weird ass responses. One notable one was “I don’t know why but in my head I just called my dick ‘my little dinky’ and now I can’t stop laughing.” He genuinely collapses on top of you laughing about that one and eventually once the laughing has subsided his hips lazily start humping you again and it’s so ridiculous and you just have unserious silly-talk sex after that.
Dazai honestly kind of hates hand-jobs. It’s not that he doesn’t like your hands--they are nice and soft and he likes holding them or having them roam over other parts of his body!-- but if he’s getting pleasure on his dick he wants it wet. Your mouth, your pussy, or even your ass if you’re into anal. He wants his dick in something tight and wet that he can cum deep inside.
He absolutely loves fucking in inappropriate locations, hence why he dirty talks with you anywhere he so pleases. He honestly needs a partner who’s a bit more respectful of appropriate sexual spaces than he is otherwise he’d do something ridiculous like sneak you into Chuuya’s office and fuck you over his desk just to piss off his old partner if he catches you in there. Actually, he’d really like to do that, now that it’s on his mind…
He jacks off a lot :/ He hasn’t had a partner in a long time and as much as he flirts with people he’s not actually very successful in pulling one night stands. This is why when he has a partner he wants to cum inside of them rather than because of their hand-- he’s so fucking sick of his own hand. If he has to jack off one more fucking time he might launch himself off the roof. Please for the love of god let him cum inside.
He definitely has some kinks. He likes sensation play, he likes edging and orgasm denial, he can absolutely get into impact play if you want him to spank you. He doesn’t want to be degraded or talked down to because no matter how much it’s reaffirmed that it’s only words during sex, his brain tends to hold onto it and obsess over it. He doesn’t really like to degrade you either for the same reason; for his own mental health he needs the verbal focus to be filthy rather than insulting.
When he realizes he loves you, the way he fucks you changes. At first you’re having fun, he’s blowing your back out every night, he’s eating you out for so long and so intensely that you’re sensitive and sore for hours. When he realizes he’s in love with you, he lays you down gently, making out with you slowly and sensually. His hands move very delicately, tickling you and teasing you. He fucks you missionary this time, staying as close to your body as he can. His thrusts are slow and measured and he keeps kissing you, kissing your neck, occasionally moving down to suck on your tits before coming back up to say you feel so good and “fuck, thank you,” and when he cums he might accidentally whimper that he loves you.
His sexual motivation is mutual pleasure. He has a high sex drive once sex is a habit for him again (i.e. when he doesn’t have to masturbate to get his rocks off). He wants you every day and he gets whiny if he can’t have it. (The best time to dom him is when one of you has been away for a few days and he’s desperate to get his hands on you--push him down, tell him to shut up and do what you say, and he’s putty in your hands). Like mentioned before, he doesn’t play with that “you don’t have to make me cum” shit. He! Will! Make! You! Cum! Or! He! Will! Die!
Also as mentioned, Dazai says NO to most degradation. Once you point out that calling you a dirty little whore and a cock slut technically counts as degradation he’s like “okay, well that’s fine,” but he never allows anything like “you’re useless unless you’re being fucked,” because his brain stops after “useless” and it just makes him feel bad. Almost anything else he’d try. He’d honestly be turned on if you dragged the tip of a knife around his body (without cutting him). He’d think it’s hot to watch you fuck someone else (but he’d have to be tied up otherwise he’d get jealous and rip that other person off of you). He doesn’t want to fuck anyone besides you unless it’s as a threesome+. You have to be involved.
Dazai fucking LOVES GIVING YOU ORAL. Again, he has studied human anatomy immensely. He knows exactly what to do to make you cum. He knows how to move his tongue, where to move it, how fast, how long. He knows how to finger you at the same time to double or even triple your pleasure. He could literally eat you out until his lips wrinkled up from being against your wet pussy for so long. He definitely gets hard from eating you out and could rut against the bed and nut in his pants from making you cum.
He has no pace preference; he very much goes for what the day demands. Sometimes you’re grumpy or cranky and he’s pent-up and feels like brat taming and he gets you into bed and fucks the absolute shit out of you. Sometimes he’s overwhelmed with how much he loves you and he takes such sweet, slow care of you. It all depends on how you’re both feeling!!
Dazai will never turn down a quickie, though it always leaves him wanting more. If you both work at the ADA he’ll coincidentally run out of pens and offer to go get more from the supply closet at the same time that you leave the office to go to the bathroom--and then he’ll follow you in, lock the door behind you, and fuck you against the sink, hoping none of the other girls need the toilet for the next 15 minutes.
He definitely will take sexual risks. He’ll fuck you at work, he’ll ask you for a blowjob any time you pass a random alleyway, he’ll put your hand on his crotch under the table at dinner, he’ll try to finger you under your dress in the back of a car as someone drives you home. He’s a little horndog. He’ll also take the risk of cumming inside you even if you’re not on birth control--he insists you’ll find a way together to take care of any consequences but please please please let him cum inside it feel so good he wants it in you it’s so hot please let him please please please.
Dazai has a lot of stamina, thus why he can eat you out for hours at a time. He could start teasing you or making you cum in the morning and still drag orgasms out of you by the end of the night. It’s about pacing. He’ll have you bounce on his fingers, cum on his tongue, then he’ll fuck you doggy in front of a mirror and after cuddling you while idly playing with your nipples for almost an hour he’ll be hard again and have you ride him, and on and on and on and on…
What doesn’t turn Dazai on? He’s a simple man. You could walk into the room, flash him your tits, and his dick will literally spring to life. Just look at him and say “I want to have sex. Do you?” and his balls twitch. He likes when you’re confident and when you pretend to be a sweet little innocent thing for him to wreck. He likes you in clothes and out of them. He thinks it’s hot when you say something smart. He thinks it’s hot when you use your ability. He’s so smitten by everything you do.
He can be unfair as fuck in bed. It’s not even funny. Yes, his policy is that you will cum by the time he’s done, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to cum fast, or even as many times as he does. He’ll edge you for literal hours meanwhile he’s cum so many times he’s literally shooting blanks. He’ll edge you for so long and so intensely that when he finally says “okay, you can cum” and he flicks his tongue over your clit, you bust almost instantly. He was the Port Mafia’s best interrogator, remember? He knows how to make someone squirm and now he uses it to sexually torment you.
Volume: HIGH. He’s loud in bed and he wants you to be too. If his neighbors (sorry, Kunikida and Ranpo!!) aren’t sending him angry texts to shut the fuck up or buy them noise-cancelling headphones as an apology, he must not be doing a good enough job and he needs to up the ante! He doesn’t try to be loud, he just lets his body do whatever it wants, and what it wants is to moan and shout and yell. He makes you do it, too, telling you that his neighbors can’t hear it (lies). He loves when you scream after he’s edged you for so long. He wants your screams of pleasure to drown out all the memories of screams of torture that he used to cause.
The most out of pocket sexual wild-card that Dazai pulls on you is *dramatic drumroll* fucking you in Chuuya’s office. Yeah, after he mentioned it that one time he couldn’t stop thinking about it and so he dragged you to the PM buildings, snuck inside with you, found Chuuya’s executive office and started absolutely going to town on you. You’re honestly kind of scared shitless, but he reminds you that if he falls, the PM goes with him, and you calm down a little…until the office door opens, and Chuuya starts screaming at Dazai for being in here and also What the fuck is wrong with you, I thought you were kidding!! Wait, what? Turns out Dazai not only told Chuuya he was going to fuck you in his office, but he invited Chuuya to join and Chuuya jokingly said “yeah, if you can manage to sneak into my office with some hot babe I’ll tag team her with you,” and shit, here you are (o_o) [i wrote it, click here to read]
Dazai likes watching x-rated videos with you to get ideas. Sometimes the best way to find new positions or find new roleplay ideas is to watch porn together, sooooo… You know he never does work at home, so whenever he has his laptop out it’s gotta be time to cuddle against his side and watch porn like normal people watch reality TV. “Ohh, this one’s labeled ‘sex education’ and it’s called ‘top 10 best sex positions’.” “Do you wanna try wife-cheating-on-husband roleplay?” “I can pretend to be a plumber coming to fix your sink and you can coerce me into sex for payment?”
If you ask Dazai why he’s so obsessed with sex and why it seems to be the only thing he thinks about or wants to do with you, he’ll do some serious self-reflection. He just really desperately yearns for you, and for closeness to you, and he doesn’t really know how to fulfill that so he resorts to sex because the climax of an orgasm definitely gives him a wave of good feelings. Turns out, he likes sitting with you and having deep, serious conversations as well. He feels weird opening up about dark things in his past, but when you do it because you trust him, he realizes he trusts you too and tells you things he’s never told anyone. He learns that he can be close to you without sex (but he’s still a horndog, he still needs it).
Dazai likes fucking you to sleep. He likes imagining the little zZzZz floating out of your mouth when you’re still spread out on the bed, naked, sweat still drying on your skin, pussy still glistening with cum and wetness as your exhausted body makes you sleep after finally cumming after hours of play. He always tries to tell you that if you close your eyes after you cum, you’re going to fall asleep, but you never heed his warning and it happens all the time. He just lays with you and takes a little power nap <3
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kyri45 · 2 months ago
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✨ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU Q&A ✨
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Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
Anonimo ha chiesto: sometimes when im bored i just go to your profile to position your pfp to siffrin's hands so it looks like they're holding you
I feel threatened bc if Siffrin would know what I'm making them pass through with the next comic updates he would crush me insteantly with a fist.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Damn Siffrin is dying and no one will ever remember them. 😔 Oh Loo~ooop!
Loop coming to save the day even tough they aren't paid enough for this shit
Anonimo Siffrin isn't aware of the hole in the wall you can go through for those two statues without having to get pelted by rocks smh my head. (said jokingly) ((Love your comic btw!! Thank you for this AU, I love it))
THE
WHAT?
YOU CAN GO THROUGH A WALL TO GET THEM WITHOUT RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE?????
Anonimo My reaction to this chapter of ISAT COTL CROSSOVER AU (10/9/2024) GO BBG YOU GOT THIS IN THE BAG!! OH YOU DO NOT GOT THIS IN THE BAG.. oh now you're out of the bag oh god ruh roh
Oh yeah he does NOT have this.
Anonimo pst hey hey are you gonna pose the statues, it would be funny i swear totally not more heartbreaking for siffr- WAIT HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO THE FACT YOU CAN BARELY SAVE ALL OF THE STATUES WHEN YOU REACH THE FOREVER STORM PART-
he has enough memories that he should recover a good amount of statues. It's not a matter of wheter or not he can save everyone, but mostly themself....
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hey so I cannot believe I am so late to see your ISAT and Sky AU because I love!! Both of them!! So much!! And I just wanted to thank you for making it and sharing it with us because it’s really cool! And both fandoms need more attention imo <333 @ucorpwhalingyaoi ha chiesto: I know NOTHING about cotl but my god your isat au of it has made me want to play it so bad 💔 (very /pos…) @primrosechronicles ha chiesto: HEYYYY ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE SENT AN ASK!! Ive been silently reading the isat comic since my last ask and im very very proud of you for making this far!!! mwahh!!! Thank you for inspiring me to play sky again, cuz if not i wouldn't have able to meet my sky friends Anonimo ha chiesto: first of all, I came here from the shadowpeach au but your comics dragged my ass to the ISAT fandom second of all, HOW DARE YOU PLAYED WITH MY HAPPINESS LIKE THAT (love your art and story telling, I wanna eat it like a fancy dinner) @prince0fghosty ha chiesto: It's been hard for me to find Sky: Children of the Light content anywhere! I found you through a friend and not only are you interested in Sky but also Lego Monkie Kid this is truly the best day ever!!! I got back into the game because of you. I like to help moths out in Eden @phoenix-is-here ha chiesto: You are the person who introduced me to the ISAT fandom and I gotta say thank you for that. That's one of the best games I've ever played and I would have never known about it without stumbling onto your account first (because of a strong hyperfixation on a show about monkeys ofc) so.. Accept this virtual cookie and glass of milk as a gift : 🍪 Anonimo ha chiesto: I followed for the shadowpeach, stayed for Sky CotL, keep cookin
HIII!!! AND TYSM!!!!!
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@elianaroselight ha chiesto: This feels a little silly, but what is ISAT? I read through your ISAT Sky AU comic and I feel like I am missing half of the story. I love what I'm seeing so far and want more, but I also don't know or completely understand who the characters are and why I should care about them (more than I do already at least). Sorry if this is silly. I just want to understand.
ISAT is short for "In Stars And Time". It's an RPG game made by @insertdisc5. ABsolutely go check it out otherwise you wont understand a thing about the characters of the AU!
when i was reading the most recent page of the In Skies and Time™️ comic I had the most hilarious image in my head of just a bunch of sky kids smacking down on the same area and making this. sky kid pileup????? [since it seems liek theyre all gonna come back like that..] it was super funny to imagine 30 CAR PILEUP 🔥🔥🔥
AWWW SKY KID MOUNTAIN!! Lol probably it would happen? Like when you do Eden just after reset and when you get reborn there's like 7 other players clipped in you rebirth animation in the aviary /home space
Anonimo ha chiesto: Awwwww Bonnie was so excited 😢
poor Bonnie they will get their comfort moment eventually
@sohrleas ha chiesto: YOU YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I got Sky 'cause I saw your isat sky au and got super curious about the game Your art is beautiful and I love it 💚💚💚
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: HOPEFUL STEWARD WOOOOO-
IT'S MY BOY!!
@o0mochacoffee0o This isn’t related to you Bio dad AU Like my usuals- I just saw in your abut that you like CotL! Now you share two of my interests!! I’m curious to know your favorite parts of the game, if you have any ships, head canons, etc!! I always love listening to people’s opinions on things I love!
About Scotl? I don't have any specific headcanon, but I do ship Moments Guide and Reassuring Ranges. The only thing that I crave for that game is MORE LORE GODDAMN IT
Anonimo ha chiesto: When I said the fun was dying. I did not expected this. I'M SCREAMING AND PUNCHING THE BED NOOOOOOOOOOOO SIFFF
*sips coffee* welcome to hell (literally)
Anonimo ha chiesto: "is that thing a sadness?!" sweet summer child that thing is a menace of death
It absolutely is
Anonimo ha chiesto: Poor Siffrin’s gotta be absolutely TERRIFIED Big scary beast thing spotted them AND suddenly getting bathed in the color they associate with bad stuff? I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t be quaking in their boots.
He is in desperate need of comfort that wont come in like- a irl month I think
Anonimo ha chiesto: I know you won’t be doing the golden wastelands but… Once the party discovers that the groundwater has the same effect as the forest rain, Isabeau decides to bridal carry Siffrin the whole way. Leaving Siffrin a blushy mess. Also, almost if not everyone is scared shitless of the Dark Dragons/Krill (totally not projecting)
ooooohh that is soooo cute i'm dying!!!!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: THE FAKE ACT 4 LOOKING SMILE . THE ACT 5 EDEN MOMENT. THE PARTY BEING SENT BACK . DIES "oh yeah if I still have energy I can loop back" ← me when I'm lying
@starlight-and-clockwork ha chiesto: bawling and kicking and screaming and pulling my hair out THAT PANEL OF SIFFRIN ASKING HIS FAMILY TO REMEMBER HIM WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND CAUSE ME MUCH PAIN THANK U<3
@aro-aces-world ha chiesto: I just caught up with ISAT sky au Fuck you /affectionate
Thank you! Be ready to be even more destroyed by the following updates!
@cherryblossomventi ha chiesto: I’m gonna go feral, Sif did that because he knows he can kinda come back from this with the shooting star thing Im guessing but the others cant/might not because they aren’t from this land,,, oh buddy why didn’t you tell them stop being cryptic idiot
Sif doesn't really remember that he can be reborn like in Sky. He knows only that, if he can reach the light right at the base of the cataclysm, then maybe he can return as well.
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offside-the-lines · 6 months ago
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MattDrai Fic Recs
So @irrelevanttous and @puckthisshift sent me the ask meme prompt for "what my favorite Mattdrai fic is" and I went on a JOURNEY lemme tell ya. I ended up figuring out how to download my AO3 history (in which I discovered that in the last year, I've read like literally 50% of all the MattDrai fics ever written) to help me figure out what my faves were. So here are some (most? I hope?), split into categories.
General Faves:
head above water by yourblues (@msmargaretmurry) 🔒 (E, 91.1k) This might be one of the best pieces of RPF ever written; it's a classic. I have visited this fic literally 21 times. It has everything: stupidity, pining, incredible sex, falling for each other, also more stupidity. Chapter 6 literally rips my entire soul out every time. I think this fic permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's a perennial re-read.
only fools rush in by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 94.9k) This is another fic that is a Must Read for HRPF as a whole. The entire time, I just want to reach through the screen and wring both of their necks for being so incredibly dense. And I love everything about this, especially just the way it's written is so incredible.
Growing Into Someone by @blaahaj 🔒 (E, 46.5k) God, I love this fic so much, I come back to it all the time. I think this must've been one of the first Mattdrai works I read. But I just love how natural the initial tension is, and how inevitable their falling in love is, and how the climax happens and resolves is just so incredible.
Undo Falling for You by crookedsilence (@csblogs) 🔒 (T, 16.1k) This is an AU I guess? I put it in this section because it's Hanahaki, so like only kinda AU. Either way, I am obsessed with this! It is just emotionally perfect. Highly recommend.
rough dream? by reticent 🔒 (M, 7.2k) So, this fic is probably the most "out there" suggestion because of the warning (I'll get to that part) but this fic is literally the most perfect microcosm of what Mattdrai fics tend to have: pining, lack of communication, falling in love while being terrified of falling in love, etc. This is a time loop fic where Matthew is stuck in the time loop but it's told from the perspective of Leon. It is absolutely incredible. I think about this fic ALL THE TIME. The warning is for a suicide, but no "actual" character death because the time loop resets.
i'll tell you when to stop by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 39.6k) (McMattDrai) This is the real answer to 'what fic do you send people if they want to get into MattDrai'. I have sent this to so many people because it is perfect. Everything about this is perfect. Matthew's internal dialogue and his anxiety, and his perception of what's happening. The second half of the fic is so well-written and suspenseful. Something I feel it will give me a heart attack even though I've read it like 10 times.
Future Fics
Saving the Best for Last by @puckingtrash 🔒 (E, 100.1k) This is the fic that made me obsessed with Future Fics of current rivals. There's just a level of camaraderie and understanding that happens after that many years in the same league; it doesn't matter how much beef you had. And this fic is just so incredible. I love thinking about what these guys do after retirement. A must read IMO.
home by now by daisysusan (@hopetorun) 🔒 (E, 102.3k) Probably one of the best fics. I love the way this builds up and keeps you on edge. It really mirrors how Matty feels, just this general unease of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. The laying of the pining with the hurt and confusion is just so well done.
back to where we lasted by @ohtemporas 🔒 (E, 34.4k) Trade fics are always so interesting with these two. Especially in the situation where they are exes. And one of them (Leon in this case) has fucked up greatly, and they need to figure out how to get past it because neither of them are over it. Or in this case, figure out how to do it again, but properly.
Old Flames Burn Brighter by @cisumox (E, 25k) I love this fic so much because of the way they are both clearly affected by what happened and how much they still want to love each other. I think about this one al the time. Warning: this does involve a career ending injury.
settle down in the Sunshine State by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 14.7k) This has my fave Mattdrai trope where one of them is a fucking idiot, and is so in their head about it. And they have absolutely no idea what literally every single other person knows. In this case, it's Matthew. I absolutely love this fic. I read it all the time.
gather your broken lessons and move by rumandwhine 🔒 (E, 30.5k) This one is super interesting because it doesn't involve a trade, or them in the same place. It is the same as it was before, but different. How are they doing to figure out what went wrong and how are they going to make sure they don't make the same mistakes? They are older now, but are they any less stupid. Keep reading to find out. (Also featuring an absolutely hilarious situation with Drai and his rookie).
AUs
linger by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 65.5k) (Omegaverse) This is another all timer. It is so incredible: the way they are just so inexplicably drawn to each other, and obsessed but so worried about their obsession. And the way Leon treats Matthew as something really special from the beginning (and how Matthew just doesn't seem to pick up on that). The way that things build towards the climax, with the ASG 2023 moment (which makes me want to rip my eyeballs out every time; it HURTS). It has all the best parts of omegaverse and explores their relationships with their dynamics so thoughtfully.
whatever promises I made by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 360k) (Omegaverse) Yet another all timer for the genre as a whole. The way that omegaverse is explored here is so interesting. It was the fic that really got me on board with the AU. It is so core to the way the characters interact with each other and the world, and the inherent traumas it brings really parallels some of the experiences of populations in the real world (e.g. women).
so is the longing by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 44.7k) (Omegaverse) When I tell you I have read this fic sooooo many times. It is so so good (and so hot). Matthew is so incredibly oblivious and Leon is pining so hard and down soooooo bad. I think Leon's love for Matthew can be seen from like Alpha centauri and yet Matthew totally misses it (among other things). This is SO good.
Egos and Eligibility by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 91.1k) (Regency & Omegaverse) I will continue to suck up to my good friend Iris LOL. But seriously, I read this before I even knew it was her and I love it so much. I adore Regency Matthew and the way Leon is literally ever MMC from the era (Mr Darcy) is so funny to me (why so pissy Leon). Regency is such a perfect setting for the Omegaverse tropes of courting and, also again, exploring the societal impact of having these dynamics in play. I think the part where Matthew goes into heat is SO funny and well written. Bridgerton wishes.
Royal Pain by lavender_hazyy 🔒 (E, 48.9k) + Sequel Rules of Engagement (E, 37.8k) (Medieval/Royalty/Bridgerton/Robin Hood) That sounds like the most bonkers combination of things, but it's truly so so so good. I recommend this one SO much. It's so much fun to read, and their interactions are so funny. Poor Connor is always experiencing the Horrors in the background. Everything about this is perfection. THE FUCKING LOVE LETTERS OMG.
bittersweet and strange by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 53.4k) (Fairytale Curses) Will I ever stop thinking about this? Probably not. :) I think so much of this is a metaphor for the "beast" that Matthew portrays himself to be (maybe believes himself to be) irl. Also, I will never get enough of Taryn as a character; she is just incredible. I will literally never forget the reveal at the end (and ever villain I ever write will be henceforth inspired by you). (Also, curly haired tiger Matthew, you will always be real to me. Leon + me *handshake emoji* wanting to tough Matthew's fur).
I honestly don't even think this is ALL of the Mattdrai fics I think about regularly/reread regularly. But these are at least a lot of them. There are also so many good recommendation lists on this website when you search for "mattdrai fic recs" that will include even more fics than the ones I've selected.
Legitimately, thank you to all Mattdrai writers out there for being the fucking GOATs. I don't know what I would be reading if not this.
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eddwardharrison · 14 days ago
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Thoughts on today's episode?
I’m recovering.
[ SPOILERS FOR “Sun is to make a DEADLY CHOICE!!” 10/31/24 ]
I’m honestly pretty disappointed that Nexus died, not because I wanted anyone else to die, but I genuinely wanted to see a lot more from Nexus. I GOT MY SOLAR AND NEXUS ANGST THOUGH SO I’M EATING!! Nexus definitely seemed “too-far-gone” with his act, so caught up in power and murder that his original self was completely blinded and would never get its sight back. With Nexus getting stronger and stronger, it’s a little hard to believe he would go out so…flatly. THE DEATH ITSELF WAS GREAT, VERY IMPACTFUL, VERY WELL DONE, but I expected…more from Nexus? Maybe some kind of way out, a backup plan like Eclipse’s have. Eclipse’s ARE Moon’s after all, I’m wondering if this isn’t the last time we see Nexus.
I don’t believe Solstice (Dark Sun) is coming back. His final goodbyes were very…final. He explained who he was, he gave Sun a great choice that would show Sun a head-on reflection on who he is and how he truly feels, and I do believe it really opened Sun’s eyes, which was Solstice’s plan all along.
This entire episode was the defining reason why I gave Dark Sun the name “Solstice”, because a Solstice is when the sun reaches the highest point in the year. Solstice was more than likely the greatest and highest Sun simply because he is a combination of every Sun there is, along with every Moon. (though it’s intellect based.) Solstice himself said the great quote
“I am every Sun you’ve met and will ever meet. I am every Sun you’ve never met and never will meet. I am Sun.”
A Sun in the purest form, not driven one way or another, yet driven by a unified cause spread across the timelines. Simply wanting to be freed of constraints every Sun has struggled to bottle up their entire life, no matter how much it damaged them. A Sun who not only snapped, but did so in a way that was completely neutral, not malicious by murder or passive by escape, but taking advantage and then growing. A real True Neutral.
I don’t believe we’ll ever see Solstice again, but I hope we do. He’s been one of my favorite characters, and I held so many expectations for him, to which he met nearly all of them. It was a joy watching his character and dissecting him to the final details, and I still haven’t watched every episode of him quite yet. I’ll never really stop waiting for his return, either. A year from now, I’ll still be re-watching these very episodes as I do with the entire series.
Just yesterday I was watching a lot of Eclipse’s old videos, a lot has changed and my perspective is much different than it was then.
But Uh…Nexus is a loser and died. Hahah! Guys, point and laugh! Laugh at the stupid Moon who betrayed his family and got all butt hurt when they squared up! GOD the Solar + Nexus angst was so DRY yet so JUICY UGGHH I WANT /MORE/ BUT THE MAN’S /DEAD!/ You could see just how much Solar was affected during that, he was very hesitant and unsure, resorting to begging at times. A part of Solar knew he couldn’t fight Nexus, so he never fully tried. Quite heartbreaking.
Sun could barely do it too, upon that countdown Sun was /breaking/. Of course both of them have hurt him in significant ways, but it wasn’t a matter of “who hurt me more”, it was more of “Who is still my brother?” Nexus could’ve been helped was the dilemma. Even Sun believed there was still a Moon inside him that Sun cared about and loved. Nexus was such a good brother and he just…shattered. It’s tragic, really. But when someone is so…destroyed like that, you can’t always put them back together. I believe that was the deal breaker in Sun’s decision.
Solstice pushing Sun forward with the “Nexus would probably use you as a tool to find Shards”, “I don’t care what Nexus does to you afterwards”, etc was NOT (imo) a heartless remark just to express how little he cared. It wasn’t that, it was Solstice trying to push Sun into the better choice which was to save Moon.
Not because Solstice cared about Moon or anything, but because he wanted Sun to realize a few things. (1) That Sun had the power to do something, he could intervene, he could take control of a situation. (2) To realize Sun was much more powerful than he thought. When he used his magic on Nexus, he reduced him to a crumbling puddle of metal and circuits. Everyone was…rightfully terrified because of that. Sun wasn’t even aware of what happened afterwards. (3) Solstice didn’t want anything bad to happen to Sun, but Sun’s don’t recognize when they’re in danger, they just simply cope with it and endure. Solstice doesn’t want Sun to just “endure”, he wants him to take control, flip the tables and DO something, the same way he has. (4) Honestly Solstice was more than likely bluffing that he wouldn’t do anything to help if Nexus tried to hurt him. If he wasn’t, then it’d be a “It’s because you’re too oblivious to save yourself. The best thing afterwards is for me to save you.” Via allowing Sun death so he could still have that final relief without stress coming to torment him ever again, the same way he did it to Servant Sun. Just “putting them out of their misery” kind of thing. If Sun didn’t act, he’d fall under the “You’re too far gone” idea. But the fact Sun acted showed he is so much more.
Solstice wanted to show Sun the knowledge Solstice already has, that they’re greater than what everyone else is. After all, an Eclipse is the combination of a Sun and Moon within coding. Even though Moon’s the only “smart” one, Eclipses significantly surpass a Moon’s intelligence. Why do you think that is?…because he’s also SUN. Eclipse’s are PART Solstice’s. Just a small detail.
That Dragon wasn’t used enough imo, it just had a big clash with Goliath and that was kind of it…I was hoping for more but I’ll simply..create it myself. 😈
I also get a free “hahah you guys are losers because dark sun is totally canon still and I’m the only one that gets to know” because (in my headcanons) Solstice and Eclipse drink at a multiverse bar and chat about their universes every Thursday night from like 8-12 pm. Haha!! Got I need to DRAW THAT STUFF AUAHGHGHGHG!!!!!!
Another detail, the title. It’s missing “IN VRCHAT”. It makes me wonder who named the title, or if this was even a planned upload. Maybe Solstice himself uploaded it…oooooooh spooky theooorryyyy…ooga booga!!
I wonder what’s going to happen to Ruin.
Ladies, Gentlemen, other strange…strange people with unreasonable addictions to Celestial events…we have reached the end of a chapter. We have reached the end of the “Solstice Arc.”
I await impatiently for what’s to come.
Happy Halloween.
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thatswhatsushesaid · 1 year ago
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i have been obsessing over this extremely short moment post-sunshot campaign for weeks now trying to put together a lengthier post about it, but i think the screenshots themselves arranged chronologically speak for themselves. so i will just post them and then talk about the framing, because i’m insane about it.
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just about everyone else on this side of the banquet hall within the scorching sun palace is looking towards jin guangshan as he speaks—everyone except for:
1) jin guangyao, who is staring straight ahead with a startlingly flat and resigned expression on his face, despite being seated in a position of honour beside his brother, and
2) nie huaisang, who is obviously TRYING to pay attention, but his attention keeps wandering between looking at nie mingjue, and looking at jin guangyao
(also he gets no further commentary/acknowledgement from me but look at jin zixun back there just lounging in his seat like a smug spoiled brat. ugh. step on legos forever jin zixun.)
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the camera shifts its focus while jgs keeps talking to zero in on jgy’s expression. this deliberately highlights and provides us the chance to see his expression in more detail. and it is so hard to discern what he is feeling specifically beyond “not great,” but what stands out for me is: he isn’t wearing his usual polite, customer service mask, the one he managed to keep in place both during the introductory sequence at the cloud recesses in the face of so much mockery from the jiang sect disciples.
so what is that expression? what is going on in his head that he can’t play the part that he’s perfect for years now, when he has supposedly almost achieved everything he ever dreamed of accomplishing for himself and his mother? i mean, i have my suspicions of course, because we know what is going to happen very soon.
and then—
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—the focus of this scene changes, drawing our attention away from jin guangyao towards nie huaisang where he’s seated just behind nie mingjue. because nie huaisang is not paying attention to jgs’s speech or watching his da-ge. unlike everyone else in this banquet hall in this moment, nie huaisang is looking at jin guangyao, observing him in this moment where his polite mien has failed him, and god what i wouldn’t give to know what is going through his head!! because:
1) i don’t for a moment believe nmj told nhs the details of what transpired between him and jgy during their confrontation in the scorching sun palace. i don’t think he did this as a favour to jgy or to lxc, either. imo this decision would be consistent with nmj shutting down any discussion of what caused him to exile meng yao from the unclean realm back in… uhhh, episode 10?? when nhs, wwx and jc all converge in the unclean realm throne room to ask about meng yao’s fate. (yeah it was episode 10.) anyway for all we know this is the first time nhs has seen his old body guard/babysitter since he watched meng yao totter feebly into the wild blue yonder all those months ago, and now here he is seated in a place of honour between jin zixuan and his da-ge, looking perhaps even more miserable than he did while bleeding from a giant sword wound in his chest. it is entirely consistent with nhs’s character to be like ‘???? what is up with this??’ but not even he is bold enough to ask jgy what is up in the middle of this banquet, not with da-ge right there.
2) his expression is ALSO harder to read than it would have been when they were last together!! but there are clearly gears and cogs shifting and ticking and whirring behind his eyes, and the fact that the framing calls attention to nhs noticing jgy in this moment when it’s quite clear no one else does is one of many hints the show is dropping for us that nhs is more than just a lackadaisical and absent-minded second son. he notices things that no one else does—but, as with jgy, we are left to guessing as to what he is thinking, and what conclusions he is drawing.
well okay it looks like i managed to write a lot of words down about this after all!! go me.
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paused-waterfall · 10 months ago
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Little Details of Feather Preening
I love reading fics in which a character with feathers gets help preening them from another character. I think part of it is because it explores the alienness of the winged/feathered character in a grounded, tactile way, while also exploring the dynamic between two characters. It's worldbuilding and character development all rolled into one! But another huge reason why I like it is just cause my parakeet sometimes lets me help with her feathers, and it's the best experience ever omfg.
I figured, for the sake of fic writers who don't have access to the cutest most patient bird in the world (and for me, who feels like rambling) I'd vomit out a ton of little details of what it's like to help a bird preen, and how it might translate to characters with both human and bird features:
(Note, this isn't exactly researched. My sample size is literally one bird and some casual reading about other species (sounds like crow feathers work similarly to parakeets, for instance: https://urbannature.blog/2022/09/23/the-unbearable-itchiness-of-moulting/). Please take this as an account of what preening a bird is like, and not as advice for things to do to a real bird.)
The exact term for preening something other than oneself is "allopreening". It's a social behavior and not all species do it. But if you're writing about a bird-human hybrid, ehhh humans have grooming instincts to add to the mix, so IMO the species of bird shouldn't hold you back!
Allopreening is most needed on areas the bird can't access themself. Wings and tails are mostly accessible-- the long feathers can be gently bent into reach. The back of the head/neck is the most prime location for allopreening. A humanoid trying to preen on their own would probably try to use a mirror to see what they're doing, and seriously tire out their arms reaching back there to do such finicky work.
Birds are pretty good at spinning their heads to see and work on anything below their necks, but an avian-ish character without that range of motion might need more help on the base of their wings, shoulders, and back.
My bird gets pissed when I so much as touch any feathers that are critical to flight (the longest wing and tail feathers). Care for those feathers is super important, and trusting someone else with that task would be a huge deal!
To request a preening, my bird angles her head at me, shakes it, and gently poofs up her feathers. If it's going well, she'll stay poofed up and maybe close her eyes.
A completed preening session always ends with feathers being shaken out.
Molting!
Often, the first sign of an impending molt is a fluffy down feather floating in the air. These feathers will cling to anything they touch.
The start of molting involves a lot of old feathers falling out, and some chill allopreening can be involved in this. Just lightly ruffling their feathers can help dislodge ones that are ready to go.
After getting rid of the old feathers, pin feathers start to grow in. They start out covered in a waxy sheath and with a blood supply running through them. While the blood supply is there, these are also called blood feathers, and damaging them can cause a lot of bleeding.
Pin/blood feathers are very sensitive. A wrong move can cause them to poke into the skin. Add this to the general vulnerability of not being at peak flight ability and the body's exhaustion at having to produce the feathers, and you've got an irritable and skittish bird. This is all a whole lot like a feathery version of a period.
Allopreening pin feathers is a lot more delicate than helping dislodge old ones. There's a careful art involved in telling which ones are ready to have their sheaths removed. Learning this art as a non-feather-haver involved, for me, a lot of sudden nipping from an unsatisfied customer. These days, I can tell I'm working on the wrong feather if my bird tenses up or glares at me.
Removing the sheath from a feather is SO SATISFYING. You take a dull-colored, irritating pin, and gently unwrap it to reveal a soft, beautiful new feather. Any time I see my bird all disheveled by pin feathers, it takes serious willpower to resist pestering her to let me fix them.
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Non-molt preening!
Fully grown feathers also need daily upkeep
Birds secrete oils that they spread over their feathers with their beaks. A bird-person or their allopreening partner might choose to work other oils into the feathers, similar to how we use skincare products.
Feathers lost outside of the molting cycle can start regrowing immediately. However, a partially damaged feather will not regrow until it is removed or falls out during a molt.
Clipped wings are essentially damaged feathers-- an intelligent bird-person might be inclined to rip these out so that new, full feathers will be faster to grow... but, that would mean going without the partial feathers, and the gliding/slight lift they allow. That's a pretty big risk!
Hope someone gets some use out of this :) Happy bird-fic'ing!
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jedi-enthusiast · 9 months ago
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Yk one thing I barely see talked abt is the fact that Mace Windu's lineage and thus legacy is one of the longest Order 66 surviving ones in Star Wars WHO STAYED TRUE TO THE JEDI ORDER'S PRINCIPLES.
Like damn, Mace rly managed to establish a liniage of highly competent and compasionate Jedi. The Shatterpoint Lineage either outlasted or survived for nearly as long as the Disaster Liniage who pretty obviously stopped truly representing Jedi with Obi-Wan (only rly returninh to the true jedi way with Luke if ya see him as part of that lineage)
Like- who do we have in the Shatterpoint lineage ?
-Master of the Jedi Order , died trying to save the galaxy from the Sith
-Former council member, died saving her padawan from her brainwashed men
-Rebel Jedi training a student despite everything that went down , died saving his padawan & loved ones from a giant explosion
-THE GUY LITTERALY ABLE TO GET THE CHANCE TO FORCE TIME-TRAVEL WHO SEND HIMSELF INTO EXILE TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES & THE GALAXY
And who do we have in the Disaster Lineage :
-Guy with questionable methods who did his best
-OBI-WAN who rly doesn't need any explanation (who's also the last true Jedi with expection of Luke (if you counf him) to come out of this lineage)
-a genocial manbaby with an alergy for any sort of moral code or basic logic
-a pick me shitting on her own adoptive family, who isn't even a Jedi if we are being honest (sry Ahsoka, but your character to assasinated to a point where I just can't anymore)
And honestly ? It says a LOT that Mace Windu's lineage stands as pretty much last bastion of a true Jedi Lineage from the old Order.
Agreed 100%
And ngl I find it so funny that people constantly praise the Shatterpoint lineage- (Depa, Kanan, Ezra) -and then shit on Mace like, my dude, WHO DO YOU THINK TAUGHT DEPA AND PASSED ON THOSE VALUES TO HER AND THEREFORE HIS LINEAGE???
But no, Mace's lineage is by far the best imo---I love Obi-Wan and Luke and Yoda, but they get negative points for having not one but TWO genocidal fascists in the lineage- (Dooku and Anakin) -and then someone who thinks the Jedi brought on their own genocide- (Ahsoka) -and then someone who decided that the fate of the galaxy was less important than her feelings and probably kickstarted another war- (Sabine, apparently, since Felony shoe-horned her into the lineage).
Meanwhile the Shatterpoint lineage has the head of the Order who almost won the Clone Wars and stopped the Empire from being created, who only failed because he was betrayed- (Mace) -then an amazing and empathetic general who was literally so selfless that she sacrificed herself to save her padawan- (Depa) -then someone who fought against the Empire, successfully overcame his own issues to both train a padawan and then forgive those who he thought willingly murdered his family, and then sacrificed himself to save his family and give the Rebellion a leg up on the Empire for the Battle of Lothal- (Kanan) -and finally someone who let go of all his grief, rejected the Dark Side SEVERAL TIMES, and then sentenced himself to a life in exile to protect the galaxy from a genocidal fascist- (Ezra).
Like...there's really no competition here.
In the Imperial Era, Mace was probably sitting back as a Force-ghost, watching the Disaster lineage fuck up the galaxy and then have to fix it all over again, smugly staring down Obi-Wan and Yoda like-
Mace, smugly: Hm, did you know that today Kanan taught Ezra how to connect with animals? I'm so proud of them.
Obi-Wan, watching Anakin commit even more mass murder and Ahsoka blame the Jedi for Anakin's actions: Must be nice.
Yoda, staring down Dooku, who literally tried to take over the whole galaxy with a fascist regime: Yes. Nice, it must be.
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linnienin · 1 year ago
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🌛A s t e r o i d ⁕ S a l o m è🌜 ( 5 6 2 ) and the Dance of the Seven Veils
~~~~~~~~~~~ Y o u r ⁕ e n c h a n t i n g ⁕ e n e r g y ~~~~~~~~~~~
An astro walkthrough post following Salomè's steps in the Dance of the Seven Veils through the lens of the Seven Deadly Sins.
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The gifs in this post (excluded the last one) were created by me and are from the movie "Salomè" (1953) with Rita Hayworth
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"Look at the moon! How strange the moon seems! She is like a woman rising from the tomb. She is like a dead woman. You would fancy she was looking for dead things."
"Salomè", Oscar Wilde
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W h o ⁕ i s ⁕ S a l o m è (quick summary of her story):
⁕ Salomè, the princess of Judaea, falls in love with the prophet John The Baptist (i'll refer to him as 'the prophet' to avoid repeating his name too much) and orders to free him from the prison he was held in (for condemning the marriage of Salome's parents, King Herod and his wife Herodias as unlawful)
⁕ The prophet rejects her, but she assures him she will kiss his mouth sooner or later, no matter what.
⁕ Salome's mother in the meantime convinces her daughter to view the prophet as an evil person that deserves to die (alimenting her fresh feeling from the rejection)
⁕ When Salomè is asked by her stepfather king Herod (who lusts over her) to dance she agrees only if she can asks anything in return.
⁕ Once the dance's over, Salomè requests the decapitated head of John the Baptist on a silver plate.
⁕ To the horror of all the partecipants, she finally kisses the mouth of the prophet consumed by her lustful desires.
⁕ King Herod, sickened and shocked, orders her execution.
(this is the William Shakespeare opera version based on the biblical one)
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M y ⁕ i n t e r p r e t a t i o n :
In a birth chart Asteroid Salomè represents:
⁕ Your enchanting power
⁕ How people target your naivety to use your talent
⁕ The extremes you're ready to face in order to get what you want.
⁕ What you want but can't have
⁕ What desires consumes you
I also want to make a quick clarification between asteroid Salomè and Sirene because both are seducing and mesmerizing energies, but imo: Sirene : conscious type of seduction, aim for what they want, in control of their actions , calculated Salomè: unconscious type of seduction, influenced by others in their choices, controlled by their desires, not in control of themselves
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P o s t ⁕ g u i d e:
I'll go through the steps of the whole Dance and make them into little sections:
⁕ Every section is about one of the Seven Deadly Sins ⁕ Within every section there will be interpretations of different Salomè signs/degrees, depending on which Sins they fall into (in my personal opinion)
Disclaimer: every single sign could fall into every single sin since they're all part of human nature, but one would always prevail on others imo, and this is just my personal take on them.
Enjoy ✨
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1 s t ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : P R I D E
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⁕ Leo Salomè/Salomè at 5°-17°-29° : You enchant with your confidence and talent. Your creativity allows you to shine from within and make a strong impression on people.
⁕ You draw attention to yourself easily, and others envy this, so they target your individuality to trigger the worst out of you. They want to robb you of your 'Main character' type of energy, using your exposition and will to take up space, to their own interest. They feed your ego only to break your mirror into several pieces later, leaving you not recognizing yourself anymore. You'll find yourself becoming riddiculous just to gain that attention again, blending with the masses for validation, but feeling extremely guilty and shameful about it. This is how they trigger your pride. ⁕ You have a great desire to be able to show yourself without getting judged. You want to dive deep into your creative mind and feel accepted and appreciated for your dramatic and showy persona. When people don't understand your needs, you can get arrogant, narcissistic and selfish .
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⁕ Aquarius Salomè/Salomè at 11°-23°: You enchant with your uniqueness and innovation. Your mindblowing perspectives draws people in and out of curiosity, and you release them with more confusion and even more questions, to trap them in getting back to you.
⁕ You know this is your strategy to create multiple connections and dodge your way to the top, but envious people want to stop you from climbing up that ladder. They'll use you and your network for their own interests, but turning their back to you once they get what they want. This is how they trigger your pride. ⁕ When no one truly deeply understand you, your different view and quirky personality, you start to doubt your identity, facing the negative effects of feeling like the black sheep. You lose the courage to stand up for yourself as you isolate from the world with no track of time and completely dissociating from reality. You become inexistent, cause you won't merge with the masses. A great desire to instill change and put reality in discussion burns in you, but if people keep overlooking your ideas, you just explode and can become rebellious, distant and unpredictable.
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2 n d ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : G R E E D
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⁕ Capricorn Salomè/Salomè at 10°-22° : You enchant with your loyalty and perseverance. Your disciplined and committed persona inspire people, but they also get envious of all the accomplishments you've achieved with such resiliency.
⁕ You view life simply and clearly, this is what allows you to be so precise with no hesitation when making important choices. And because this is such a rare quality, people want to robb you of it and use it for themselves and their interests. However, you base your self worth on materialism and achievements and when people don't validate them, you only want to get more to prove yourself. This is how others target your weeknesses and trigger your greed. ⁕ They show you the best of everything to make you feel inferior and in consequence wanting it all. But the truth is you don't need it all to feel complete within. You have a great desire to feel the best and most powerful of all, but because you attach your emotions to the outside and not accept them inside of you out of fear of showing your vulnerabilities, you are therefore not in tune with yourself and you are controlled by the world. You want to become the best version of yourself, but if you don't truly accept your imperfections, you can get dissatisfied, demanding and cold with no way of enjoying life like you envisioned you'd have.
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3 r d ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : L U S T
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⁕ Scorpio Salomè/Salomè at 8°-20° : You enchant with your mystery and intensity. Your enigmatic and independent spirit makes you an extremely interesting character everyone wants to get to know.
⁕ You attract unwanted attention, and you are the center topic of everyone's gossipy chitchat. You are people's dream, and everyone envy your subtle popularity, they all want to get a little sip of you. People view you as a prize they want to conquer to make themselves appear bigger. You have a great desire to form deep and meaningful connections, so you give a chance to others in exploring your hidden and vulnerable side, but all they do is take advantage of your thoughtfulness to feed their curiosity and ego, and once they get what they want, they only come back to you when they need a little refresh. This is how they trigger your lust. ⁕ You hide your emotional side because of past wounds, but your intense feelings still need an outlet or else they'd consume you. You need someone that cherish and care for your complexity and is willing to explore the dark without judgements otherwise you'll become insatiable, unfulfilled and uncontrollable, confusing the real profund emotional depth with a toxic emotionless bond based on superficial desires.
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4 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : E N V Y
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⁕ Virgo Salomè/Salomè at 6°-18° : You enchant with your skills and intelligence. Your analytical mind and organized approach give you the ability to grasp details and process them in an incredible clear and systematic way.
⁕ People envy your critical thinking and your kind, hardworking nature, so they take advantage of your modesty to use your talents for their interests. You take pride in giving yourself to others to help them out, but when this gets to an extreme and hinders you from developing your own identity, you get stuck in a limbo of constant crave for validation and endless comparisons. This is how your envy gets triggered. ⁕ You look at others' freedom and accomplishments, and you feel guilty you haven't reached that level yet, so you blame yourself for your inability and incompetence, believing you'll never get better and so remain stuck in your delusions. You have a great desire to master your talents and get genuine recognition from yourself and others, but when you don't take on this path, you become fussy, critical and judgemental.
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⁕ Gemini Salomè/Salomè at 3°-15°-27°: You enchant with your wit and sarcasm. Your exceptionally curious mind make you jump on every kind of topic with no shame, letting you explore anything and expanding your horizons making you very clever and articulated.
⁕ You excel in debates and are such a social butterfly, you know how to grasp people's attentions with your words. And well, who wouldn't be envious of such a skill? People use your talents by making you feel like you're guiding them and you have the control over the situation, but then you focus too much on the details that you forget the bigger picture, and this includes you forging your own path and understanding what you truly want from life. Those distractions that people throws at you trigger your envy. ⁕ You look up at the people that make decisions and have a clear idea of what they want to do and you feel jealous of their resolution in walking only one path. You overthink so much you'd love to know how to find peace even for just a second, but you get absorbed in the envy, and at your worst you get gossipy, superficial and inconsistent. You have a great desire of knowing yourself fully, being flexible while also find stability within your flexibility. But if you can't look within and stop comparing with others, you'll never know your truth.
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5 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : G L U T T O N Y
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⁕ Libra Salomè/Salomè 7°-19° : You enchant with your charisma and tactfulness. Your cooperative nature and romantic aura enhance your already stunning natural beauty, and people envy this hard core because it appears as you have been blessed with everything by life.
⁕ They take advantage of your agreeable temperament to use you for their interests. So you live your life as a secondary character, always trying to please others but never taking into account your own will. People use this indecisiveness of yours to trigger your gluttony. ⁕ You never feel satisfied because you don't even know what you want. So you only "eat" more because you crave that instant moment of pleasure constantly. As you base your worth from outside sources, you feel empty inside, hence why you keep feeling the need to put things inside you to fill that void. You have a great desire to make the world fair for everyone and form genuine connections between people, but if you can't complete this purpose, you become unbalanced, overly-indulgent and insecure.
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⁕ Taurus Salomè/Salomè at 2°-14°-26° : You enchant with your steadiness and sensuality. Your driven and kind hearted nature allows you to always put your best in everything you focus on, and you're not one to lose your focus easily.
⁕ People envy how firm and determined you are, despite looking very gracious outwardly, you never give up, and this beautiful combo of extremes make you look like a person that possess everything. Others are gonna want to break your peaceful and unshakable nature, taking advantage of your kindness, they're gonna try to use your resiliency for their interests and letting you see how much there is of the world by shifting your focus on the pleasures of life. Soon you're gonna enter the sensual world and you'd never want to go back. This is how they trigger your gluttony. ⁕ Your body craves intimacy and contact, but you've been living in your head, only focusing on possessions denying your sensual side. Now after realizing how food can fill you and make you enjoy the experience, you become addicted to it. The idea of something that doesn't take up space like everything in materialism, but can instead grow you to take up space (eating) makes you feel important and not tie your self worth to outward successes. But it's still making up for your lack of love coming from within, and if you can't feel it you can get stubborn, possessive and self-absorbed.
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6 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ o f f : W R A T H
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⁕ Aries Salomè/Salomè at 1°-13°-25° : You enchant with your assertivity and bravery. Your optimistic and dynamic spirit combined with your dominant demeanor allow you to be a great leader.
⁕ You fearlessness and ease in overcoming challenges make people envious of the power you hold. They use your spontaneous and competitive nature to their interests, trying to make fun of you, to slowly make you lose the confidence in yourself and step down the throne you deserve, but you can't stand the view of this injustice (both if made to you or to others).This is how they trigger your wrath. ⁕ You are not afraid to speak up, but after you lose your confidence, your words are spilled out with impulsiveness and aggressiveness, making people afraid of how quick you can lose your temper. You have a great desire to help others realize their potential, and you want to guide them on the tortuous path of life, but if people ignore you and make you feel small, then you become impatient, insensitive and reckless.
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⁕ Sagittarius Salomè/Salomè at 9°-21° : You enchant with your wisdom and open-mindedness. Your free spirit allows you to experience life humbly giving you the ability to transform your mistakes in insightful life lessons.
⁕ You change people's perspectives by elaborating a wide range of informations and putting them in a clear view thanks to your capability of grasping patterns, and others envy this. They want to robb your wisdom, to feel like wise Gods themselves, so they use your knowledge to shut your voice down, triggering your wrath. ⁕ Once you raise your voice and let everyone see this impulsive side of yourself, you can witness people losing interest and trust in you, making you insecure and small, full of existential crisis. You have a great desire to change the world for the best, and to let people see different point of view with your philosophy, but when you are not understood you can turn into a close-minded, highly opinionated and skeptical person.
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7 t h ⁕ v e i l ⁕ r e v e a l : S L O T H
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⁕ Pisces Salomè/Salomè at 12°-24° : You enchant with your vulnerability and spirituality. Your imagination allows you to put yourself in other people's shoes and understand their point of view in an empathetic way.
⁕ Your easygoing and adaptable nature make others envious of you. They take advantage of your compassion by treating you as their personal punching bag, their shoulder to cry on, their victim to sacrifce. They suck all your energy into their personal interests, leaving you completely numb and not giving you space to display your creativity. This is how they trigger your sloth. ⁕ You have a great desire to feel emotions and share them with people that truly understand you, but if people neglect this aspect of yourself, you become lazy, unmotivated and hopeless. The world holds no meaning to you and you'd rather spend time feeling delusional than open up in fear of not being accepted.
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⁕ Cancer Salomè/Salomè at 4°-16°-28° : You enchant with your softness and compassion. Your nurturing and maternal energy makes others feel at home and safe.
⁕ Your incredible intuition knows everyone's needs and your affectionate nature make you want to help everyone just to see a smile on their faces. Unfortunately others can misuse this gift of yours to their interest since they're envious of how perfectly in tune you are with your emotions. When you can sense that all you see are fake smiles, you start to question your ability to heal others and your sensitive side is hightened. This is the perfect moment for those people to strike some offensive words that will make you insecure and want to just disappear from the world. This is how they trigger your sloth. ⁕ You isolate and close yourself in your shell to protect you from further damage. You feel you are unworthy and that you don't bring any value to the world, so you dwell in your sense of guilt and fear, unable to do anything. You have a great desire to make the world a better place, to share your love and emotions with others, to protect those in needs, but if you can't express this side of youself you become pessimistic, moody and manipulative.
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And you've reached the end! Congrats! And thanks for staying with me ✨
I hope you enjoyed this post and find it helpful in understanding your own Salomè placement 😊
Hope the dance steps were easy to follow too 💃
It took me some time to make cause i wanted to truly dive deep in the meaning of it and not only talk about the magnetizing part, but remember, this is only my interpretation, i'd love to peacefully discuss with you if you disagree with me 👍
I'm kinda tempted to make a post on Salomè through the houses, let me know if you'd love to know more on this asteroid
as always,
I wish you a wonderful day ahead (or night) 😘 and i'll see you in the next post! Yours Linnie 🌛
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danwhobrowses · 1 month ago
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I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.
What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.
For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.
While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.
I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.
Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.
Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.
And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e110#cr spoilers#bells hells#ashton greymoore#taliesin jaffe#matthew mercer#yes this is my ass coming to the defense of Ashton again#not saying Matt hates Ashton but they don't half give them a short straw when they're seeking answers#Ashton and I are very different (*) but there are similarities I feel also very strongly about that I'm compelled to put my foot down on#(*I kinda expect they'd steal my wallet but then return it after seeing my donor card and tell me how to not make it so easy to steal)#this is not angrily targeting everyone - it's a culmination of things I've bit my tongue on that I disagree with#there will be people who don't like Ashton for valid and fair reasons a valid and fair amount - this is not against you#but the hate guys - the hate! It ruins my day seeing it let alone thinking about it#and 110 still had a lot of fun and interesting things going on in it that I'd rather focus on#I was not in a great mood already for having missed ANOTHER set of auroras last night#I've stared at this for half an hour in drafts between posting and deleting - if things get more bitter I'll definitely be deleting it#this is not put out to debate this is just pure shouting to the ether#and what I shout to the ether is that 'Ashton Greymoore deserves to feel loved'#it's out but it's not gone from my system it just won't boil over again for a bit - but I still don't like having these vents#I'd much rather rant about fun and good things that make me happy and are a comfort to me
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utilitycaster · 2 months ago
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You mentioned it briefly a few months ago (but it lives rent free in my head sorry!) that the most popular ship from this campaign has almost only AU fanfics and it's really telling me something about the characters from c3, that there is just really nothing to explore about them.
So here's the thing. I do not think the characters aren't worth exploring! There's been good character work (a lot of which gets ignored, actually, because it's not what many of the people who insist that C3 is their favorite as they slowly turn into a corncob want*; see basically anyone on Twitter about Orym), it's just not central to the plot.
I stand by what I originally said and which was validated at a recent Q&A panel: the cast wasn't told that this was going to be the Moon Plot Campaign (they were just told pulpier and deadlier) and Laura wasn't told that Imogen would be as central a character as she was. So I think we have characters who could have, for the most part, had a character-driven campaign around them, but it became clear relatively early on that this was the Moon Plot campaign and that wouldn't be the focus; and because to get all of his ducks in a row for the Moon Plot Matt had to take a heavier hand with the rails and as a result the party didn't have a ton of bonding time early on because they were always taking NPC missions/being ferried around in an airship with no need for watch conversations, and it's hard to go back and fill in those interactions later, which is why they've sort of fallen out of the habit.
With respect to the ship...the thing is, I genuinely believe it could have been good. The reason I'm not a fan of imo/dna isn't because I think the characters aren't good (well, my feelings on Laudna are documented but I do think Imogen is a great character). It's because, ironically enough, every barrier between them did get removed all too quickly in the service of Cottage Endgame and as a result I think many of the people who wanted that are like "wait...that's it?" Like, the gnarlrock fight fizzled out only for the same conflict to come up briefly with Ishta (swordgate) 70 episodes later and be resolved a day later in-game. When they reunited I was like you know what would have made this good? If Laudna had remained angry in episode 65 and turned Imogen down which Laura 100% expected to happen, because they hadn't talked about this and they were awkwardly trying to deal with unresolved feelings for 30+ episodes and perhaps Laudna actually leaned into Delilah wholeheartedly during that time and realized she had feelings for Imogen after all, while Imogen was simultaneously struggling with that rejection and realizing Laudna was going into a dark place but didn't feel like she could get involved, and they both leaned more (platonically) on other characters and Swordgate was the point where Laudna said "oh no, I'm becoming too much of a problem and I do want Imogen to like me" and the soul anchor felt like a culmination of a deeply felt struggle instead of a quick fix for something that had only inconvenienced her a few times and led to a 20 hour long minor spat at best? If we actually got a fucking slowburn? It would have been great! Turns out if you always go for the instant gratification, it makes for a story without any tension! And now we're watching people who were always clamoring for skipping to the good part realizing that in doing so we skipped all the buildup that makes it the good part. There could have been something to explore. It was not explored.
*I think that there are people who for whatever reason do legitimately prefer Campaign 3 for whatever reasons and are in earnest and this isn't about them. While I don't share their tastes I support them and their feelings; we all have our preferences. This is about the people who are already visibly setting up the groundwork for a dramatic rage quit that will make copious, wildly incorrect use of the term "neoliberal" if the campaign ends with the gods still in place while still insisting this is definitely the best campaign and making absolutely brainless statements about prior campaigns not being as political even though this is the least politically inclined or aware group by a country mile. I think the lesson from the above and from here is that you really cannot have your cake and eat it too.
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ficmashup · 11 months ago
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Taken
Summary: You join TF141 after something happened on your last deployment. They take you in and while it takes some time, you find yourself warming up to them, and them to you. Perhaps especially to the Captain.
A/N: Nothing like a sprinkle of angst on Christmas Eve. ;) I will be doing a part two for this because I can't resist, but can't promise when I'll post it. Soon, I hope! Have a lovely holiday to everyone celebrating. :)
Warnings: SA mentions if you squint, crass language, death, stabbing, beating, shooting, torture, angst, trauma, overall I just decided to stab the characters in the feels. Just a bit. Happy ending though, imo.
Word Count: 4.7k
Masterlist
It’s not expected, but then again, these things never are.
What kills me the most is that Ghost had to be there, had to see it. I’d rather it had been anyone else just so I could spare him the pain of reopening old wounds. We’d been clearing a warehouse and stumbled upon more than we’d expected. We both realize our mistake at different times and I have a split-second decision to make. I’m ahead of Ghost by a dozen or so feet and hidden behind a pile of crates, so I see the group first.
There’s no time to warn Ghost and if he comes forward, he’ll be shot on sight. So I step forward first. I take out those closest to his entry point and my focus on keeping him safe leaves me vulnerable. Ghost moves in just as I’m grabbed from behind and I ram the butt of my gun backward into my captor’s ribs. There’s a grunt, but he doesn’t let go and I drop my gun to hang from my chest in exchange for the long knife on my thigh. I plunge the blade into his thigh and hear a string of curses spat into my ear as their grip only tightens on me.
I fail to realize that during the struggle, they’ve managed to drag me backward towards a side door. My last view as I twist the knife is Ghost’s wide eyes behind the mask before my head is slammed against the wall and all goes dark.
*     *     *
I wake up tied to a chair. I keep utterly still and take stock of my body. My head is heavy and I feel the tightness of the skin on the right side of my face from where blood has dried. There’s a sharp sting coming from across my collar bone and my right ankle twinges. A sprained ankle and a scrape, I’d guess. Possibly a concussion. Nothing too bad. My wrists and ankles are tied to the arms and legs of a chair and the rope chafes, but the ties are sloppy. Keeping me here like this was unexpected, then. An opportunity that they couldn’t pass up.
I keep my breathing steady and my head bowed with my eyes shut. All I do for a few moments is listen. There’s shuffling and voices, but they’re muffled and seem to be coming from a nearby room. Multiple people, but more than likely less than a dozen. I take a chance and open my eyes, looking up and finding the space dim and empty. It looks like a shack barely held together by the sand and dirt covering the floor.
“Awake.” A voice with a rough accent comes from behind me and my spine stiffens as he moves in front of me. He’s limping slightly and I get a brief moment of satisfaction at knowing this is the man who grabbed me and I clearly dealt some serious damage. With the dried blood on my face and him being able to walk after clear medical assistance, I’d say I’ve been gone a few hours. The fact makes what’s left in my stomach curdle.
The man says a few words that I don’t understand, then one that I do. “…bitch.”
I chuckle softly. “Unoriginal.” His fist darts out and the hit is harder than I expect. It leaves me dizzy as the weak chair rocks with the impact. Stays on all fours, though. The man grunts and spits at my feet before walking to the door, apparently satisfied with his revenge. He opens the door and shouts something down the hall before looking at me with ill intent in his eyes. I shift a bit in my chair, noting that they’ve removed my uniform and boots. I’m only in tight shorts and my tank top. It’s going to be torture then. Fine. I’ve already been through hell and lived through it, fashioned myself teeth from the mouths of my demons I killed, I can take whatever poor imitation these amateurs try.
Three more men come in and one steps in front of the others. “Why you here?” He asks in broken English.
“To kill people like you.” I answer simply, staring unblinkingly at him.
He gives me a smile. “Coincidence. That is why we here as well. To kill people like you.” It’s a struggle not to roll my eyes. That’s the base of every conflict in the history of the world. He pulls his handgun and aims it at my forehead while I go completely still. “Tell me more.”
*     *     *
Hours pass. The torture is easy enough to sit through, nothing unexpected, nothing skilled, nothing I haven’t been trained for. The true killer is waiting with my own thoughts. Like thinking that they aren’t coming for me. Stupid. Utterly stupid. Yet the persistent feeling of being unworthy lingers in my chest. And I know that the longer I’m here, the more nagging those thoughts will be.
They can finally be rid of you, no trouble, no hassle, just a lost soldier, happens all the time.
I gasp as a soldier lands a particularly well-aimed punch to my gut and the chair finally falls over. I feel the arm crack at the impact while the group laughs, but the ropes around my right wrist and ankle are now free. My fingers slowly curl around the splintered piece of wood hidden under my body. One of the men waves his hand and another steps forward and yanks the chair back up. I use the momentum of the sudden movement to plunge the long piece of wood into his throat and get my free leg up under me to keep me from toppling over.
The man’s eyes go wide as he chokes on his own blood and everyone else in the room is frozen with shock. I take advantage of that and take the gun in the man’s thigh holster and manage to shoot two men before they draw their guns and one more before they manage to shoot. I use the body of the man I stabbed as cover, but I can barely hold him up. I grunt under the impact of a bullet hitting his dead weight and feel another bullet graze my shoulder before the door straight across from me bursts open. I take advantage of the distraction and shoot one more while the other gets a bullet between the eyes from the intruder’s gun.
I turn on instinct and level my gun at the intruders, stopping my finger just in time when I see the distinct, pale skull mask. “Fuck.” I lower the gun and let the body drop to the floor as Ghost pushes in, but I don’t miss the way he looks me over.
His hand grabs his radio before anything. “Clear, I’ve got the package.” He slings his gun over his back as he reaches me and I don’t realize that I’m trembling until he guides my hand to his shoulder to keep me upright as he unties my other wrist and ankle. My fingers cling to his tac vest like a lifeline.
“Confirmed. If package is secure, move out.” Price’s voice comes over the radio and my heart squeezes at the sound of his voice. I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and my hand still holding the gun twitches before I recognize Soap moving into the doorway to watch our backs.
“Clear, LT.” He reports before looking me over with wide eyes. I must really look like shit then.
“Affirmative.” Ghost responds over the radio with a wave back at Soap to tell him the same. “How bad, G?” He asks gruffly once the flimsy chair falls to the floor behind me and he stands up, keeping his forearms within my reach so I can use him to stand. His fingers graze my arms too, not gripping or grabbing, simply guiding.
My head shakes as I stare at him. “Not bad. Nothing broken.”
He nods in return and pulls out my uniform shirt and pants that he must have collected from the other room. My boots too. “Then let’s go. Can you walk?” I take my clothes gratefully and he keeps to my side while I slide the top on with only a slight wince as the fabric slides over the open wounds covering me. The pants are a little more difficult, but I manage before nodding to Ghost that I’m ready. He wraps an arm around my waist and I lower his hand to my hip as my ribs ache with protest. He corrects his grip and we limp out with Soap leading, gun up.
A few more bodies litter the narrow hall and the room beyond, but the true relief is when we walk outside and I can see the stars. I hadn’t realized how stale the air was in that shack and how the metallic smell of blood had stained my nostrils. I gulp down the cool air before I press my lips together as I hold in a laugh. My shoulders start shaking and Ghost’s pace falters before I shake my head. “It’s fine, I’m fine. It’s just the shock and exhaustion.” Laughter taints every word and I swear Ghost’s eyebrows furrow with concern before we keep moving.
“You get scarier all the time, G.” Soap comments ahead and I can’t hold back a low laugh even as I shake my head at myself.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.” I breathe as the giggles make every word waver.
Ghost’s grip tightens as we carefully scale down the side of the rocky hill. “Not sure what you’re apologizin’ for. You fuckin’ got taken watching my ass and I’d rather have you laughin’ than anything else.”
My head shakes, the laughter fading as I struggle to keep my feet moving while my body starts to shut down. “I’m sorry for thinking you wouldn’t come for me.” Ghost comes to a full stop now as I look between the men and Soap has shock scrawled over his face.
“Course we did, lass. The hell you talkin’ bout?” Soap’s accent gets a little thicker, betraying how deep my words hit.
Ghost starts to move again and I stumble after him even though he’s practically carrying me on his hip. “Keep movin’.” He grumbles and regret lingers in my chest as we fall silent the rest of the way. At the bottom of the rocky path sits a car and my heart beats a little faster at seeing the two figures waiting there for us. Ghost picks me up and carries me the rest of the way before immediately handing me to Price once we’re close enough. He holds me close and tight for far too brief a moment before sitting me on the hood of the car. The moonlight is just bright enough to make out each other’s features and I can’t get enough of his eyes, even with the worry filling them.
“You broken?” He asks quietly and I can hear how the words drag and crackle on the way out of his chest. His hand perches on the side of my neck, his thumb brushing lightly over my pulse point to feel my heart beating.
I give him a weak smile. “Just a bit chipped. Nothing permanent.” I promise and it’s a gift to see a little tension leave his shoulders. “But I’ve lost a lot of blood. I need to be kept conscious as we head back.”
“Still the medic, hm?” He teases dryly but the attempt at humor soothes me more than anything else. “Gaz, let’s go. Fast and steady.” Price pushes the keys into Gaz’s hands as he passes by with a wink, pushing something small that crinkles in my hand. A real smile tugs on my lips. A candy. We pile in the car and it’s a surprise to find myself pressed tight between Ghost and Price with Gaz driving and Soap in the passenger seat. It’s as if everyone traded seats.
“Did…did either of you grab my med kit?” I ask as my head gets a bit dizzy and I pop the hard candy Gaz gave me into my mouth. Soap turns in his seat with a half-grin, holding up my kit. My hands reach for it, but Ghost intercepts and pulls it into his lap.
“What d’ya need?” He asks as he opens it and looks over the contents.
I shift the candy into my cheek. “Bandages. My ankle’s fucked. Need to wrap it at least.” Ghost glances at Price and they instantly come to a nonverbal agreement as John shifts me closer to him while Simon gingerly lifts my foot into his lap. I frown. “I can do it—”
“Let him. That’s an order.” John’s voice in my ear and the command in it has my body stiffening for a moment, then laxing a moment after. My back is pressed against John’s chest with his arm thrown across my middle, his hand heavy on my hip to use it as a steadying point rather than put any pressure on my ribs. He must’ve noticed how Ghost was holding me earlier. Doesn’t miss a thing, my Captain.
Ghost eases my boot off and my hands clench at the pain, but he’s careful and the steady ache of the rest of my body makes it easy enough to sit through. Once my sock is off too, he takes out a small flashlight and I grimace as the light illuminates just how bad my ankle looks. It’s red and swollen from all the activity I forced it through after the sprain. Ghost starts wrapping and I nod when he looks at me to make sure he’s doing it correctly.
When he’s finished and I’m satisfied, I move to pull my foot away, but he keeps a firm hold on it. He gives me a deadpan look. “Keep it elevated.”
I give him a look back that I’m sure is a bit lackluster given my current condition. “It’s supposed to be elevated above my heart, but that’s not happening in the car.”
“Better this than nothing.” Ghost responds without a second of hesitation and his eyes don’t budge from mine. My mouth opens again, then shuts when Price gives my hip a soft squeeze. My lips purse, but I don’t say another word as I relax into John and try to keep my eyes open. I rest my hand on John’s knee and my thumb slides back and forth as I breathe in his scent.
“Give me a list of injuries.” He says and I nod, fighting through the fog of my mind to think clearly.
“Uh, sprained ankle, head wound, possible concussion, multiple lacerations, bruised ribs on my right side, a bullet graze to my left shoulder, and some bumps and bruises.” I go over the list twice in my head before nodding slightly in confirmation. The car is silent for a few beats and I feel a weight settle over all of us. The weight that comes with caring for someone else and hurting when they’re hurt. I swallow, struggling to accept the feeling rather than struggle against it and feel guilty for inflicting it on others. In truth, it’s a choice they all made. I choice I made too, when I let them in.
“Don’t think I ever asked how you are when you’re the one who needs to be treated.” John barely breaks the silence, but the tension lessens when I hum a tired laugh.
“Oh, I’m sweet as sugar, Captain. Naturally.” That gets chuckles from most of the men in the car.
“Liar.” Soap accuses, grinning back at me and I give him a smile in return. Also, I show him my middle finger. He returns the gesture instantly and happiness flits through me at the simple banter.
“You’re not gonna be difficult for me, are you, sugar?” John whispers just low enough for me to hear and I smile, wincing as it stretches a cut on my cheek.
“I like to think I behave better than most of you do when you need care.” I give Ghost a pointed look since he’s the worst of the bunch and he grunts, shaking his head while Soap and Gaz make noises of dissent.
Price shifts and my grip tightens on his knee until he settles again. “I remember being pretty docile last time.”
“After some convincing.” I return, my eyes shutting for just a moment before I feel light flicking at my nose. My eyes open and see Ghost pulling his hand back, head shaking with eyes on mine. I nod once. Got to stay awake. It goes on like this for the rest of the drive. One or all of them keeping up a conversation with me while Ghost taps my nose, pulls my ear, or annoys me in some other way when I start to drift. When we arrive at base, I can barely give one-word answers because I’m so exhausted.
The men rush me into the medical tent and I hate being set on the bed, hate being the one who needs treatment, hate the starchy feel of the sheets, and hate being poked and prodded. There’s a deep frown on my face as I allow the medics to do their job and they give Price the same list of injuries that I gave him earlier. Only after they hear that, and that I’m going to be fine with rest and treatment, Price dismisses the others and they reluctantly go. Although Gaz slips me another hard candy before he goes and gets a smile out of me.
Price stays. Even after the medics pull me aside and push me into a sterile bath to clean all my cuts after I practically showered in that man’s blood, I return smelling like chemicals and find Price waiting. I give him a look and the corner of his mouth lifts, but I can’t bring myself to verbally scold him. His presence settles me as it always has and that’s something I’m especially grateful for while I’m here.
There are a few places where I need stitches and I sit through it silently, Price and I just looking each other over. Seeing that we’re both alive and safe. The medics wrap my ankle again and lay me down in bed with it elevated while I try to keep my grumbling to a minimum. I’m exhausted, but this place, this position, keeps me on edge. But it’s getting harder to resist.
“Just sleep.” John says with a hint of humor in his voice as he sits in the chair next to me.
I heave a breath, nodding. “I’m not fighting it. Just hard to do in a place like this.” He moves a touch closer and breathing comes a little easier as his fingers slot with mine, the tips of his fingers sliding over the length of mine. He understands more than most why I’m having trouble.
“You’re not going to be alone here. Not for a second.” He promises with nothing but sincerity in those lovely blue eyes. My lips press together.
“I can’t ask you for that.”
“You’re not. I’m giving it to you.” He returns instantly and I can’t help but melt. Can’t argue with that. “Sleep.” His other hand raises to slide over my head, his fingers twisting a few locks of hair between them. My eyes flutter closed at the feeling and I don’t mean to fall asleep, but his gentle touch lulls me into peace in seconds.
*     *     *
I wake up feeling a slight weight settling on top of me and I’m on alert in a split second, my eyes flashing open and my hands darting out to grab what I can. The person freezes and I end up staring into dark eyes with their wrist in one hand and the collar of their shirt in the other. “Just me, G.” The voice takes a few moments to sink in, but I relax a second later with a grimace as the sudden movement tweaked my ribs.
“Ghost.” I breathe and slowly release him while he lets go of my wrist that he grabbed to keep me from choking him. “Gotta stop meeting like this.” I tease and he hums as he sits in the chair next to me, moving it as close to the bed as he can. I settle back down and note that the slight weight was another one of his jackets laid over my chest. A little smile pulls on my lips at the sight.
“Think I’d have learned by now. Especially since you still have my other jacket.” He flicks his chin towards the one covering me and I smirk while my heartbeat slowly calms. He’s only wearing the cloth that covers his face tonight and there’s no black smudged around his eyes. It’s as close to being Simon as he allows himself to be on base.
“I always meant to return it.” I say honestly, thinking fondly of his jacket hanging in my closet back home. “Think I like it too much now. I’ll get you another one.” That earns me a rare chuckle as he leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees.
“Sounds good.” He agrees and there’s that little glint in his eye that tells me he has something to say. He’s either waiting until he’s ready to say it, or he’s still mulling over the words in his mouth. “Took me a solid ten minutes to get Price out of here.” I smile, imagining the soft argument followed by Ghost shoving Price out of the infirmary.
“Thanks for relieving him.”
He shakes his head. “Not a problem.”
“And you wanted to talk to me.” I help him along a bit with amusement in my voice as his fingers knit together and his gaze steadies on mine.
“I did.” He confirms and now I wait, letting him decide when he’s ready to talk. My hands slide over the jacket he laid over me, grateful for the lack of chemical smell emanating from it. It just smells like him. Like bitter tea leaves and a small citrus tang that usually taints his clothes. Probably his detergent. “I don’t forgive you.” He starts and my attention immediately shifts to him and his dark eyes trained on mine. “I don’t accept your apology for thinking we wouldn’t come for you because that’s bullshit and I won’t forgive you until you never fucking believe that again.”
My eyes widen when I hear the heat in his tone. It’s not that odd to hear Ghost get riled up, especially around Soap, but I’ve never had him take that tone with me. Not seriously. “I know it was stupid.”
“Damn right.” He grumbles and I give him a pointed look for rubbing it in. “Say it. Tell me you know we’ll always come for you.” His gaze is unyielding and I know he means it.
“I know the team will always come for me.” Even to my ears, the words sound hesitant. Ghost’s eyes narrow.
“You say that every day ’til it feels as natural as your fucking name. And I’ll ask you to say it every once and a while. ‘Til it’s a reflex.” I sigh, but his tone is insistent. After a moment, I relent with a nod and he pins me in place with his eyes before nodding back and relaxing again in his chair. “You don’t get to save my ass, then think we’re not coming after you. Never believe that, G.”
“I get it, Ghost. I’ll do it.” Because it’s important to him and because he’s clearly trying to do something good for me, even if it’s something I hesitate to do. “And when I can stand without falling over, I’ll give you a hug for being such a pain in my ass.” The mask twitches and his eyes crinkle so I know he’s smiling.
“We’ll see if you can catch me to do it.” He returns and I smirk, knowing he’ll let me. “Now, go on and pass out. Price’ll have my hide if I keep you up.”
“Mmhmm.” I smile and let my exhaustion catch up with me, falling asleep a little easier with his scent in my nose rather than the chemicals that cleaned my body.
The next time I wake, Soap has taken Ghost’s place and morning light is seeping into the tent. “Morning, lass.” He greets and I give him a bleary grunt in return. “Cheery in the morning.” He quips and I’m about to tell him what he can do with his cheer before he points to a tray beside me. “That’s for you, if you’re up for it. Will ye let me help you up without bitin’ me?” Soap gets up and I nod, grabbing onto his arms as they slide under mine to pull me up into a sitting position.
A long breath leaves me as pain echoes through my body with every movement, but Johnny is gentle and makes sure to stack pillows behind me before moving back. He pushes a glass of water into my hand along with some pills. “Nurses said to give those to ya.”
I raise a brow and take the pills despite how my face hurts. I bet I really look like shit. “They trusted you with a task? I’m shocked.”
He smirks. “At least your spirits are still high.” Soap reaches over and pulls the tray closer to hover over my lap. “Eat up. Took everything in me not to steal your applesauce.” I hum amusedly, picking up the small container first and happily digging into the sweet treat. Soap flicks my ear. “Cruel lass. Careful, I might rethink my offer.”
I pause and raise a brow. “Offer?”
Mischief glints in his eyes and I take a deep breath to prepare myself. “You’re coming to Scotland with me.” He says with a smug grin. “The group we took out last night were the last few we were after, so we’re on leave starting the day after tomorrow. Since you’ve got no one waitin’ for ya at home, I’m takin’ ya with me to see my family. So I can keep an eye on ya.” He winks at me while I blink a few times to make sure I heard him right.
“That’s…that’s not necessary, Soap. I can take care of myself.” I frown as I think of myself laying on his couch surrounded by his family, just taking up space. “I couldn’t possibly impose on you and your family.” Besides, it’s been a long time since I’ve met someone’s family. Parents…I haven’t been around parents in at least a fucking decade.
“Too bad.” Soap answers instantly, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. “I’ve already told my Ma and she’s excited to meet ya. If you resist, I’ll carry you there slung over my shoulder.” I pout, setting my food down on the tray as I try to think of a way out of this. “Come on, lass, it’ll be fun. You only have to stay off your foot for a little while and I’ll be there to entertain you in the meantime.”
My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I look at him and if anyone can pull off a puppy dog look, it’s Johnny. After a few moments I sigh, pressing my fingers to my temple. “You’re sure your family doesn’t mind—”
“They’re fucking thrilled, G. Come on, just say you’ll come without a fight.” He leans forward and nudges my leg gently.
A smile tugs on my lips and I’ll admit the thought of seeing Johnny at home is a tempting one. “Yeah, okay, I’ll come.” His face brightens immediately and his big grin makes accepting worth it.
“You won’t regret it. One minute in Scotland and you’ll never want to leave.” He assures me and I nod along, listening with a fond smile as he tells me about his sisters, his mother’s cooking, and his father’s terrible jokes. To my own surprise, I find myself actually…looking forward to it.
Taglist (hello, lovelies, hope you enjoy. Lmk if anyone wants to be tagged):
@under-the-dirt @jj-ara33 @sorchateas @cherry-blosom-tree
@thriving-n-jiving @jinxxangel13 @emsstuff1 @missmidnight-writes @thereeallink @younggirlgenius @1wh4re1nova @ghostslillady
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zwoftt · 2 months ago
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from what i’m clocking from spoilers and recent posts i’d like to just say i’m all for some drama but quite frankly angst stresses me tf out sometimes (especially when it’s two characters i’ve grown to deeply love and want to see happy))
i bet dorian’s speech was absolutely amazing, deepens his character, raises more questions(at least in the group towards dorian), and fleshes out his morals,, but i cannot shake the fact liam/orym looked like crying during it. i mean, it’s only natural sure because orym is in love with dorian and wants to see dorian succeed and be the best version of himself that he could possibly be… but do i think this will make orym fall out of love? i don’t know. and it’s scary. though part of me still has that delusion in thinking that both robbie and liam know what they’re doing and are doing this on purpose so in that case, this mishap WONT cause our boys to fall out of love but i’m so torn. this hurts. dorym has been the biggest slow burn i’ve been following for years. years. i will not be okay for months if they don’t end things on good terms (whether that’s continuing to be pining friends or actually getting together))) at this point i’ll take the yearning friends situation over them failing to communicate and leave each other both sad
what i’m hoping for is that next episode(s) they ACTUALLY talk. one on one, heart to heart. this is literally the perfect setup for liam to swoop in with his skills and get that angsty conversation he’s been edging. orym is misunderstanding dorian, dorian still hasn’t told anyone about his brother getting murdered by the SPIDER QUEEN which is WHY HE DOESNT LIKE THE GODS. they need to talk. they have to. otherwise shit will keep drifting them apart and i know that both dorian and orym do not want that at all. they are in love with each other, and don’t know how to act on it or what to do about it. there is so much going on, so much that is left unsaid and it’s hurting their relationship and it’s KILLING ME. i would say it’s like in exu, that time when they head butted about the crown,,, though now it’s not so simple anymore. they just need to talk about stuff. maybe then orym will fully understand why dorian is so cross with gods… and then in turn dorian can understand why orym is anxious about the way he’s been acting.
looks like a love confession will be an even longer wait…. sigh. we got so much fluff just for it to go south again- my heart is physically breaking on the inside. i cant even remember if this is what it felt like with vaxleth back in the day. this seems a lot worse rn imo ……
i’m still very dorym strong. i believe they can work through this. dorian and orym are being played by super talented actors anyway.
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