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drgenius-reid · 1 year ago
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Fuck me what a masterpiece 😭 how do I read this again for the first time?
Sunscreen & Statistics (S.R.)
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Summary: Reader asks for Spencer’s help putting on sunscreen (and washing it off after).  Request: Spencer lecturing Reader on the statistics of wearing sunscreen, but his mind going blank when reader needs him to help put it on. A/N: This is my (first) entry to my Summer Sunshine Challenge! Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Spencer POV, so much sexual tension, mutual pining, heavy petting, fingering, rough sex, unprotected penetrative sex, coworker relationship, so many statistics (showers, skin cancer, sunscreen, sex), schizophrenia mention, Reader wears a bikini Word Count: 5.6k
MASTERLIST
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It was a beautiful day—the kind that artists had attempted to capture through many mediums. The summer sun was relentless, stretching its rays across every inch of the region. Even the shade hardly seemed spared, with bits of bright light slipping between green rustling leaves.
This seemingly idyllic set of circumstances offered the BAU a wonderful excuse to stay behind on the sunnier coast. Everyone was quick to buy new bathing suits and Rossi had already begrudgingly extended an invitation for everyone to stay at his favorite luxury hotel (on his dime, of course, or none of us would’ve made it).
The celebrations were already in full swing, and everyone was blissfully happy. It was, after all, the perfect day to hang out by the pool. So, they did. Each and every one…
Except for me. I stayed inside.
I wasn’t trying to ruin the fun. I had my reasons. Some were more reasonable than others.
Others were scary and slightly embarrassing. They wore a smile so bright it would rival the sun and managed to make me turn red even quicker than the star could. The kind of reason that turned me to nothing but a blubbering mess of a man.
I should’ve known better than to try to avoid her, though. Because that reason, that very important and tempting enchantress of a reason, always seemed to find me at the most inopportune time.
“Are you still hiding in here?”
I nearly jumped through my skin at the sound.
“No!”
I turned to find her staring back with an entertained, albeit disbelieving stare.
“Sort of. Maybe,” I felt compelled to continue.
When she still didn’t believe me—for obvious reasons—I finally conceded, “Yes.”
To my joy and eternal shame, she laughed like it had been an intentional joke.
“Well, I got banished back inside because I forgot sunscreen, so I’m trying to figure out where JJ left her bag,” she sighed.
Thankfully, that had been something I could help with. Despite everyone’s enthusiasm when they’d tossed the bags into the center of the suite lobby, I had managed to determine who owned which brightly colored pattern.
From my seat in the center, I reached over to pull JJ’s bag from the fray.
As soon as (y/n) spotted the motion, she was quick to exclaim, “My hero!”
Immediately, I felt the blood rush to my face.
I suppose there were worse places it could have gone.
“How did you forget sunscreen?” I asked.
“I hate the way it feels, so I almost never wear it unless forced,” she shrugged. Then, she turned to me, pointing the bottle like a weapon as she explained, “Plus, it always feels like they’re trying to trick me with all the numbers. I don’t know what SPF is. They could just be lying to me.”
“Well, the good news is that even a weak sunscreen is helpful,” I tried to reassure her. “Regular daily use of at least 15 SPF can reduce your risk of squamous cell carcinoma and melanoma by up to 50%.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah. I can tell you more about this product specifically, if you want.”
When I held out my hand, she was quick to hand me the bottle. I was, in turn, very happy to have an excuse to look at something other than her before all the blood left my brain.
“Okay, so, this one is an interesting formula. It offers a decent coverage and—,” I started, but my voice died just as soon as I looked up.
Because there she was, pulling her top over her head to reveal the barely-there bikini beneath it.
I knew I only had a few seconds to shamelessly ogle her before she would find out, and I greedily accepted the sight of soft curves that all consisted of and led to her.
My eyes traversed her body the way I wished my hands could until I was left practically trembling.
The blood wasn’t in my face anymore. It wasn’t even anywhere near my brain. To the point I’d barely even noticed she’d already taken her pants off until her voice snapped me back to reality.
“And what?” she said.
“What?”
“… You stopped talking.”
“I did?”
She reached forward and grabbed the bottle from my hand. If she’d noticed the way I had been looking at her, she didn’t say anything about it. She just sort of… smiled.
“Are you alright, Doctor?” she asked.
“Yes,” I lied.
I might’ve been able to answer honestly if it hadn’t been for the way she dumped the contents of the bottle into her hand and began lathering it over her legs.
“A-Anyways,” I tried to continue. With a wavering voice and wandering eyes, I rambled, “to maximize protection you should really use about an ounce of sunscreen with an SPF of 30. Anything over 30 is, well, like you suggested, sort of a scam.”
All the while, there she was, smoothing over slick skin that smelled like summer.
“An ounce, huh?” she hummed as her hands traveled between pillowy thighs to coat skin the sun could rarely reach. “Feels like you could make it a drinking game with enough motivation.”
“Drinking alcohol actually dramatically increases your risk of sunburn, so you should definitely wear more sunscreen if you’re drinking,” I muttered absently while my eyes stayed firmly fixed between her thighs long after her hands had abandoned the area.
“Noted,” she said, the end of the word tinged with a little bit of amusement.
I looked up at her to try to understand what had excited her, or perhaps annoyed her.
Or at least, I tried to look at her face. My eyes made a few involuntarily stops along the way. Once they settled safely back on her smile, however, she was quick to get my blood pumping in a different way.
“So, will you help me?” she asked.
“With what?”
She scoffed, then laughed.
“… the sunscreen? Duh.”
Despite my best efforts to make any sense of the request, I was, once again, a hopeless, lovesick idiot.
“W-What?” I babbled, “You… You want me to put it on? You?”
“I can ask JJ if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“No!” I blurted out with both hands raised in opposition or surrender.
Didn’t seem to matter which.
I tried to explain it away, but my attempts to bolster my good character seemed even less convincing than the sudden outburst.
“N-No, no it’s fine. I-It’s… why would that make me… uncomfortable? I’m fine. I can do it.”
“Wow. Convincing,” she teased.
And that is what it was. There was no anger in her tone; not even a hint of resentment. She laughed, and I did, too.
“Okay, I admit that wasn’t very convincing. But seriously, I can do it. Promise.”
She spoke through her teeth when she muttered, “Whatever you say.”
When she tossed me the bottle back, we were both surprised to find that I’d caught it.
My hands, still shaky, were quick to close the gap between our bodies. The sunscreen felt nearly frigid compared to our skin, but she didn’t seem to mind.
In fact, she rewarded the sensation with a dreamy sigh and a slight arching of her back.
That motion, however small, felt like fire to an already ruined man. I tried to stay focused on more innocent areas. I worked my hands over knotted muscles in her shoulder and tried to free her of those burdens, too. With each swipe of my thumbs, she would let out the most delicious rumble that made me want to do it again.
Each time that I pulled away to add more, I came back a few inches lower until my fingers nearly slipped beneath the top of her bikini bottoms.
At that moment, with her arched lower back pressed against my palms and my fingers brushing against the little fabric between us, she shivered. Silently, I watched as the goosebumps covered her skin like a sheet.
Reaching forward to grab hold of the couch in front of her, she arched her back once more. The movement seemed intentional, closing a couple inches of the distance between us until there was almost nothing.
With more speed than I’d intended, I stepped back and nearly fell.
“O-Okay, I-I think that’s it!” I said with a squeak.
To my dismay, she stayed exactly where she was for a long moment. In fact, she deepened the stretch and fell forward with a sigh before she whined, “Shame.”
I tried to calm my fast beating heart while simultaneously trying to run from the thoughts that continued to chase me the longer she stayed bent over. My hands were still buzzing from the contact, and I felt almost lightheaded from the strength of the unrelenting erection still struggling against compression shorts underneath my pants.
(I had been right that I would need them if she was going to be there.)
And there she was, finally standing and stretching her arms over her head. They dropped back down and I couldn’t stop myself from admiring the effect of physics on her chest.
“It felt nice to be touched like that,” she sighed.
I couldn’t respond to that without making a complete fool of myself, so I tried to distance myself from the moment, instead.
“You’re actually supposed to wait 30 minutes after application to go into the sun, but, y-you can probably just sit in the shade and wait.”
“Did you already apply yours?”
“I’m not taking off my clothes so I could do it myself,” I explained.
I should’ve known better than to doubt her ability to get whatever she wanted—which, at the moment seemed to be my catastrophic defeat.
“Well, that’s not fair,” she whined, “I want to return the favor!”
“I-I mean… I’ll probably have to reapply it to my face soon, but I doubt you want to—.”
“Awe! Fun!” she cried before I could finish the thought, “Gimme!”
“Oh… um, okay.”
I handed her the bottle and whatever I still had of my heart. With expert fingers, she spread the chilly contents over my cheeks. We were both smiling, the expressions growing wider and more genuine as she started to play with pliable skin.
I involuntarily joined in on her laughter. Her hands and eyes were so warm, I couldn’t help but melt into a puddle in her palms.
The moment ended far too quickly. I missed her immediately, but she made sure that my smile didn’t fade.
“There. You’re only sort of pasty now,” she sighed contentedly before adding, “Mostly red, actually.”
“Gee, I wonder why,” I grumbled back. The sarcastic tilt to the sound wasn’t lost on her.
I realized in that awkward, somehow lonely quiet that I loved her more than I’d thought.
I almost wanted to tell her. I’d even opened my mouth, ready to spill the contents of my soul and hope for the best.
I never got a chance, though. Because before I’d uttered a single syllable, she jumped with her own realization.
“Oh, I forgot the most important part!”
“What?”
She turned away from me and dove her attention into the pile of bags without further explanation. I watched as she dug through clothing and whatever else she’d stuffed into her tote until she stood triumphantly with a closed fist.
“What?” I asked again.
She held up a single finger in reply.
I followed her instruction, waiting patiently as I watched her uncap a small tube of chapstick and use it to thoroughly coat her lips. Once again, I was left to shamelessly stare at a beautiful woman as she dutifully cared for herself in a way I’d wished I could.
Swallowing the lump in my throat that carried heartfelt confessions, I spoke again.
“What am I waiting for, exactly?” I teased.
Her eyes narrowed with what seemed to be a playful warning.
“Sunscreen application,” she explained flatly, “Duh.”
I paused. My head cocked to the side and my face twisted as I struggled to find any explanation for why she’d needed me for this part.
“Wha—?”
Then, just when I’d started to speak, it hit me all at once.
And by that, I mean she kissed me.
With both hands cupping already-reddened cheeks, she pulled me forward until I could taste flavored lip balm and her.
Her lips opened, sliding against mine with an undeniable affection that made my whole body tense. I tried to hold her, but it all happened so quickly that by the time I raised my hands to her arms, she was almost gone.
“There!” she said happily, “Now we’re ready.”
For what? I wanted to ask.
But before I could make myself speak, she was already gone.
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I spent the next several hours outside.
The rest of the team seemed both surprised and not surprised about my decision to join them. After all, everyone knew I didn’t particularly enjoy pools or any body of water, and, despite my Vegas origins, the sun and I didn’t quite get along.
But they also knew I liked her.
It had never been more obvious than it was that day, when I emerged from the safety of darkness with freshly kissed lips and an expression filled with utter confusion.
(Y/n) was quick to greet me in her usual manner. She said nothing about the kiss.
Part of me had even started to wonder if I’d hallucinated the whole thing. Maybe the doctors had all been wrong, and I was already waist-deep in psychosis that manifested purely through happy memories of her.
It would be an odd presentation, sure, but at the time it somehow felt more likely than her returning my affections. But as soon as I started to convince myself, she would flash me a glance that set my already overheated body on fire. Even as she peered up at me from the edge, I could still see her smile under the water.
She wore that same look in her eye she always did when we were alone. It was a slightly unnerving but mostly flattering feeling. It felt like being wanted by a beautiful woman.
I’m definitely losing it.
That was the only reasonable conclusion to reach. Because when she emerged from the pool, I could’ve sworn she paused before to make sure I was watching.
Of course, I was watching. I made sure that my flawless memory captured damn near every droplet as it caressed her curves. I stared, practically worshipped the sight of her lips parted with a relieved exhale that I could see leave her chest.
The blood was gone again. I was doomed.
“You’re still hiding, huh?”
I was too afraid to answer until she took the seat closest to me.
“No, not hiding, just… staying safe,” I explained through my typical awkward smile.
I pointed up to the umbrella above me, but she didn’t look. Her eyes stayed glued to me.
“It’s probably time for me to reapply, huh?” she laughed.
I liked the way it sounded, so, I laughed, too.
“Yeah, to be honest, you really should’ve done it a couple hours ago, but I didn’t want you to think I was… a wet blanket or a pervert.”
She snorted at the suggestion. Her eyes squinted, playful as always and carrying some meaning that evaded me.
“It’s very interesting that those were the two options that came to your mind,” she said.
I panicked.
“I don’t know, it’s weird, isn’t it? Me insisting you should let me touch you?” I rushed, “I’m not crazy, right? It’s… weird! It’s…!”
She sighed.
At first, I mistook the sound for annoyance. But when I looked into her eyes, I knew that wasn’t right.
Because she looked… like she had been caught in a dream. A melancholy fantasy of something she felt was just beyond her reach.
She was looking at me, I realized, exactly the same way I looked at her.
 “You’re not crazy, Spencer,” she said with a smile, “Just a little oblivious.”
My lips twitched as I fought a smirk that came through, anyway.
“I can accept that.”
She seemed pleased, as if I’d given the right answer.
“Well, the good news is I’m done with the sun for the day,” she announced.
Her eyes finally left me as she once again stretched her arms over her head and left me to ogle her like an idiot. Then, when I was thoroughly distracted, she glanced around like she was checking to see if anyone could hear her.
“They don’t seem to be calming down, so…” she said, much quieter now, “any statistics on what I should do with sunscreen when I’m finished with it?”
“No statistics, per se, but you definitely should wash it off. It can be pretty irritating for skin,” I answered matter-of-factly. “Not to mention the salts and chemicals from the pool.”
“I see,” she laughed.
Then, when she realized that I was, in fact, a hopeless, perverted fool with no blood in his brain, she made her intentions much clearer.
“Will you help me with that?”
Not clear enough for me, though.
“What?” I asked.
“With the sunscreen,” she answered simply.
“Uh—.”
Even that eloquent thought couldn’t make it through a parched, tightening throat. With each passing second and every syllable uttered, my voice got higher and even more unstable.
“I’m sorry, are you—what—w-what are you asking me?”
That’s when she took my hand, bursting with laughter as she dragged me from me seat with the most terrifying, alluring, and magical answer.
“Come on, pretty boy.”
I followed her without question but many concerns—the largest of which was the fear that she was actually leading me to my demise by humiliation.
Those worries grew tenfold when she yanked me over the threshold into her private room.
I stumbled forward and practically fell into her arms. But she was waiting for me, seemingly anticipating the clumsiness. Her hands were still soft, still soothing on boiling skin as she guided my lips to hers for the second time that day.
That time, I was prepared.
My hands covered her sun-kissed cheeks and pulled her even closer than she’d done to me before.
She tasted like salt and sugar from summer fresh fruit. I gave her every breath that I had, panting hopelessly against her lips each time that we broke apart.
Her hands were gentle when they found mine. I was reluctant to leave her until I realized that she was simply repositioning them to less innocent areas.
Still, I hesitated to go any further. I let my hands rest softly against her hips while I struggled to express my relief.
“Thank god,” I laughed, “I was sort of worried you were going to beat me up for staring at you all day.”
Her eyes locked onto mine with a hunger that seemed almost insatiable.
“No, I like it when you look at me like that,” she stated so simply it hurt. “In fact, I think I want to thank you.”
Before I could ask her how she intended to that, she made her intentions very clear by grabbing my dick through the fabric of my pants.
“So, tell me… any statistics on why we shouldn’t have sex in the shower?” she asked.
I don’t know how she’d expected me to think clearly. It actually seemed like she was purposefully trying to make it harder for me to form any words at all.
“It’s actually—,” I started just to stop when she started stroking the full length of me with devilish fingers.
“It’s actually really dangerous to try to have sex in the shower,” I tried again.
That time, she began applying a cascading pressure through playful fingertips. I spoke faster, trying to finish any thought before I truly lost my mind.
“There is a—fuck—a 44% chance of injury,” I forced out.
Her hand stopped. She cocked her head to the side with a brilliant smile and asked, “Is that right?”
I was almost relieved. Almost.
“Yeah, and…”
Then she started taking off my pants.
“A-and it can be quite uncomfortable for a woman without additional lubrication,” I said while shaking my head.
Even my subconscious knew I was speaking against my own self-interest, that I could’ve just accepted her question as rhetorical. I could’ve just shut up and go along with whatever she wanted because I would always be happy so long as she was happy.
She dropped down as she pulled my pants to the ground and revealed a second set of bottoms. I couldn’t be sure of it, but she seemed vindicated when she realized how hard my body was struggling against the compression shorts.
“The movies make it look so fun, don’t they?” she hummed as she stood back up. “I guess it is pretty dangerous. And inconvenient.”
“Yeah, but also, I sort of wish I hadn’t said any of that,” I responded immediately, “Let’s do it anyway.”
Thankfully, she found my eagerness charming and not pathetic (or perhaps those were the same to her). Her fingers sneaked past the band of the compression shorts, but she didn’t make the move to remove them yet.
Instead, she used her free hand to lead mine straight to the knot holding her bikini bottoms together.
My fingers twitched. She leaned closer, her cheek pressed against mine and her breath hot on my ear as she said the most beautiful words.
“We can shower after, then.”
“Thank you god,” I cried.
Practiced fingers untangled the knots within seconds, and I fought the urge to stare at her newly exposed skin by kissing her instead.
Her skin, still wet, was chilled enough from the cooler air that she barely reacted when I backed her against the ceramic countertop in the bathroom.
She leaned back, groaning with relief when I finally undid the knots of her top.
Again, I shamelessly admired the wonderful world of physics as it was displayed before me. With each breath, her chest lifted and came closer to my own.
Seemingly sharing the same thoughts, she reached forward and practically tugged my shirt off of me.
As soon as I could, I held her naked body as close to me as I could. My hands covered her lower back and drifted further down her hips, seeking every inch of cold skin that remained.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I whispered. I couldn’t see most of her, but the memory from mere seconds ago was as vivid as it would ever be. “Words don’t exist that would ever do it justice.”
She pulled back, still toying with the tops of my shorts with that insatiable look in her eyes.
“I’d say take a picture, but I think your memory might rival a camera,” she giggled.
“I’ll never forget this,” I promised her, “I’ll never forget you.”
But there were so many other ways I’d yet to see her. So, after carefully loving each inch of her hips, I turned my attention to the burning heat between her thighs. 
At the same time my finger slid through slick folds, my lips found hers once more.
“I wanna make you feel good,” I slurred.
Her lips parted in a broken gasp as I tried to do just that. I inched eager fingers between tight muscles and didn’t even bother fighting the urge to moan into her mouth.
She swallowed that desire and returned her own with a growing enthusiasm. My fingers grew faster, sloppier in their gentle beckoning for her to fall apart.
“That’s it. Good girl,” I reassured her when her breathy moans became pitchy. “Oh, you deserve to feel so good, sweetheart.”
That spark in her eyes had turned into a wildfire further stoked by my praise. I leaned into it; I became more confident in my loving her. Her walls were tense and insistent, seeking something more than what my hand could give them.
I withdrew them despite her immediate protests. She recanted any complaint as soon as I moved drenched fingers to the small pearl at her center.
Her moans became shameless, and I accepted them as an imminent victory. She rocked her hips against my hand, riding it to find her elusive end.
All the while, her eyes were locked onto mine. She refused to look away, forced us both to acknowledge that I was the one who brought her here. To the edge of the abyss, to the ultimate euphoria.
“That’s it, pretty girl,” I said through a smirk, “Come for me.”
She followed the direction with the utmost enthusiasm. She fell forward, favoring me to the cold countertop. I caught her but continued my relentless efforts to please her.
I kept going, kept cherishing her until she whimpered from my touch. Then I held her. I pet her damp hair and laid a gentle kiss atop the crown of her head.
“Good girl,” I assured her.
But I wasn’t finished yet.
“Now turn around.”
She perked up the second she’d heard the order. Although she’d barely caught her breath, she turned on shaky legs without question.
My hands found her hips just like they had before. Except this time, there were no bikini bottoms. There was only pillowy flesh and the strong muscles of her backside pressed firmly against my dick.
Barely moving away from her, I finally freed myself from the confines of compression shorts. I groaned with relief and noticed how the sound made her back arch further.
When I lined myself up at her entrance, she rewarded the action with a dreamy sigh.
It wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to see the look on her face, to hear the desperation in her voice before I gave her what I’d fantasized of from the moment I met her.
My hand knotted in her hair. I pulled her back from her comfortable position braced against the countertop. I held her up so that I could whisper in her ear the same as she’d done to me earlier.
“This is what you wanted, right?” I asked, as if her whimpers hadn’t been answer enough.
“Yes,” she moaned, “please.”
The sound of debauchery on her tongue sent shockwaves through me. My cock twitched involuntarily, bumping against satin skin now dripping with desire.
I barely resisted the urge to slam into her with full force. Instead, I stayed there, with just the tip of me inside of her as I groaned.
“Oh, I’d give you the whole world if you asked me like that.”
“This’ll do for now,” she giggled.
Her hips began to sway as she rocked on her toes. She chased even just a half inch more of me and rewarded me with beautiful sounds when I finally started to sink into her.
“That’s it…” I sighed.
Her confidence was quickly shaken, though, as my pursuit continued. Not even half of my dick was inside her when I felt her start to tremble.
“You can take it,” I assured her.
She responded by tightening her muscles even further, resisting the gentle stretch of her body as it accommodated my own.
“That’s my girl,” I groaned. The blinding heat of her demanded my full attention to the point that I was barely coherent as I slurred, “You’re doing such a good job, sweetheart.”
But all it took was one word to unravel my best efforts.
“Spencer,” she whimpered.
Any hesitance I had vanished without a trace. I thrust my hips forward to the hilt with so much force that she scrambled to stay on her feet. Manicured nails struggled to find a grip the ceramic before my next motion.
I took my time pulling back, and I watched her struggle with the fullness that was our bodies come together. I reveled in the sight of her heaving chest and clouded eyes.
That time, I didn’t fight the urge to slam into her. I even pulled her back as I did it, bringing our bodies together over and over again with a blissful type of violence.
With each thrust, I watched her reaction in the mirror. I made sure that my mind captured each second of her pleasure. Each time her jaw dropped open with whines and praise in the shape of my name.
“Please, Spencer,” she keened with a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the counter.
I hadn’t been sure what she was asking for, so I continued to love her the same as I always had.
But she only became more frustrated, sobbing with pleasure the next time my hips crashed into hers.
“Harder,” she cried out.
And I tried. I tried to follow her instruction, to grant her the release that could only be found in the fullest expression of years of repressed passion.
The problem wasn’t my unwillingness to give my everything to her. Rather, it was the siren’s call of resistant, relentlessly desperate muscles.
“You’re so fucking tight,” I ground through clenched jaw. 
Then, with a small and wavering voice, she insisted, “I can take it.”
Every atom of my being burned with a suffocating desire. It felt nearly feral; fully free to show her just how badly my body ached to be with her.
She began slamming back against me with a similar fervor and I almost made myself stop.
“Fuck, I’m so close, but I don’t want it to end,” I begged her.
But that beautiful, evasive, brilliant star of a woman just giggled. I could practically feel myself leaving bruises in the shape of my fingertips and she couldn’t have been happier.
Through the mirror, she looked at me and reminded me of the full, unrelenting power of the sun.
“Don’t worry,” she purred, “we can do it again later.”
That was all it took. With just a look, she practically brought me to my knees.
“Fuck!” I choked as I slammed into her with my full force. We both nearly collapsed against the counter, but I managed to pull her hips down harder against me just as I found my release.
The blissful heat of her grew to new heights as I filled her. Each wave of pleasure caused her to shiver with sheets of goosebumps.
I watched through half-lidded, lust-clouded vision as she accepted every inch and every drop of my desire with a euphoric smile.
“Sorry,” I said while trying to catch my breath. Even when I managed to capture some breath, it escaped me with a laugh as I explained, “I… I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“Don’t apologize,” she slurred.
I might’ve thought she was just being merciful if she hadn’t immediately followed, “That was fun.”
It was so obviously sincere, but I was so ridiculously stupid that I had to be sure, anyway.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she laughed.
The sound was even more beautiful when I could feel the vibrations from within. I groaned from the thought of how it might feel for her lips to be wrapped around my cock. It twitched inside her, and she responded with a small whimper.
My hips bucked one more time, forcing me to the hilt before I withdrew in one quick motion.
I stood there for a moment, holding her hips steady as I watched the evidence of what we’d just done drip down her thighs.
My stomach was filled with butterflies doing flips and there was no accounting for the blood that still hadn’t made its way back to my brain.
(Y/n) was patient as ever with a pitiful man.
“Come on, pretty boy,” she chuckled as she took my hand, “help me get clean.”
Despite my best efforts, there were significantly less attempts to get clean in the shower than I’d expected. It was only thanks to her self-preservation that we didn’t end up having sex in the shower, although we came pretty close.
I could never tire of kissing her, but I realized I could love her just as much with lather as I could with my lips. My worship shifted as I dutifully cared for her the way I’d always wished I could.
When it was over, I didn’t give up. I followed her into her bed and she made no attempt to stop me.
In fact, she moved closer to me until my arm could reach around her waist and her head rested on my chest.
“Any other statistics you want to share?” she mumbled, now sleepy from the sun and… other activities.
“Always,” I answered. “Like, did you know, I have now joined the 54% of people who have slept with a coworker?”
“Fascinating. Was it worth it?” she chuckled, having already known my answer.
“Yes,” I told her, anyway. But the way I always did when it came to sharing statistics, I couldn’t stop myself. “Although, there is a smaller subset of that group that’s even more interesting.”
She gasped, quickly pressing her fingers to my lips to stop me from ruining her moment.
“Let me guess—at least half of them fucked in the office,” she said.
And in that quiet, private moment, the only thing more beautiful than her hopeful smile was the fact she’d gotten it right.
“You are, without a doubt, the most attractive woman I’ve ever met in my life,” I confessed.
She gave her wholehearted admission that she felt the same in the best way she could.
With a cheeky smile and the utmost sincerity, she asked, “What are the odds of that?”
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(Tell me what you thought about this fic here!)
Looking for another mutual pining summer-themed fic? Check out my 11.2k oneshot Lost Time, where Reader and Spencer spend their mandatory leave taking the Spring Break Spencer never got to have. 
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Reid Taglist: @mrs-dr-reid , @dreatine , @hopefulfangirl24 , @laurakirsten0502 , @dontcallmekittens , @rintheemolion , @andreasworlsboring101 , @imsuperawkward , @wentz2005 , @lovejules888 , @dashneydanger , @materialisthicc , @violetspoetic , @mslowlife , @conniesanchor , @trippol-threat , @will-byers-needs-a-hug , @poo-tay-toot , @bookobsessedfreak
Complete Taglist: @cynbx , @emsma11 , @mediocre-writer , @fightingdragonswithwho , @andiebeaword , @jayyeahthatsme , @pepperthealien
Thanks for reading!
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reidtomewinchester · 4 months ago
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Key:
☺️ - Fluff
🫂 - Comfort
🥲 - Angst
😭 - Rip my heart out why don’t you
🥵 - Smut
🚿 - Plot what Plot?
🫶🏼 - An ABSOLUTE Fave
👏🏼 - TOP. FUCKING. TIER
☑️ - Completed
Dr Spencer Reid
Series:
Here to Misbehave (😭🚿🫶🏼👏🏼☑️) - @imagining-in-the-margins
Room 405 (🥲🚿🫶🏼👏🏼)- @smurphyse
Bunny and the Beast (🚿🫶🏼👏🏼) - @smurphyse
Twisted (🥲🥵🫶🏼☑️)- @dreamwritesimagines
I Can’t Help Myself (🥲🥵🫶🏼) - @reiderwriter
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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"
just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible
#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order#at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers#90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent#like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries#but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate#and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something#cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare#and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity#and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media#and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons#and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators#instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period#anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives#so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world#(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin#oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value#and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the#important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)
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kalofi · 1 year ago
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fucking legend!!!!!!!!
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hijinxinprogress · 3 months ago
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12 year old tim realizing robin’s not coming back to gotham and deciding that it’s Batman’s fault so he has to ruin the little bit of sanity and peace of mind Bruce has managed (read: struggled) to keep in his grasp:
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#tim drake#dick grayson#robin#dc robin#bruce wayne#batman#tim drake is a menace#tim drake was and still is a die hard Robin fan before anything else#so he 100% thinks Damian’s funny when he’s not the one being targeted#there’s mission reports with comments in the margin like ‘nice 👍🏾 do it again’ and ‘650000000/10 🎉’ and Bruce hates it sm#it starts with a mild explosion and psychological fuckery and ends with a prank war with city wide structural damage#Bruce sees Tim and Damian getting along and starts sobbing in the batcave#It was 12 year old Tim Drake and his 67 alt twitter accs against the world (Batman) when dick left#For the two years dick refused to stay in Gotham I promise you batman’s anonymous tip line was just 325 ruthless insults from tim everyday#Imagine bruce trying to figure out which of his rogues keeps photoshopping terrible .5s of Batman then mailing it to the gcpd#just to find out it’s some fucking middle schooler with a bowlcut from bristol#Tim drake is unhinged and petty#Like it gets so bad that gothamites (even the rogues) have picked a side in this mostly one sided beef between a middle schooler and batman#I want internet beef between a middle schooler and a 29 year old med school dropout bruce ‘I am the night’ wayne#Bruce is foaming at the mouth whenever someone opens Twitter next to him#and batman is breaking your clavicle if you mention twitter in his hearing range 😭#Batman showing up at Tim’s windowsill: take down all your accounts rn and im calling your parents 😡🦇#Tim pulling out a ouija board: let’s see if your parents answer before mine 🤨#I made yj on the sims so they could fight the jl and I was like middle school!tim drake w/ a twitter acc???
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kacievvbbbb · 2 months ago
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I’m just very obsessed with the idea that mihawk is useless in a weapon less fight like he cannot throw a punch or get out of a pin to save his life like one he can’t kick he’s done out for the count, and this is why Shanks ends most of their duels this way. Because he’s a filthy cheater and Mihawk is even worse off because it’s Shanks pining him and he has eaten a lot of dirt.
Shanks decides to teach him the art of fighting dirty cause he’s nice that way but also let’s just say that Shanks likes being in a pin a little too much
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mybraindumpsterfire · 21 days ago
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My prediction for October 19th is this. Dan and Phil holding small pride flags together, FOB and/or MCR playing in the background, and in sync they say, “no but seriously imagine it” before they turn to each other. They smile softly as they giggle together and then lean in until the moment their lips almost touch and the video abruptly ends. They never acknowledge it again and act confused when people bring it up afterwards. Effectively, they take the opportunity to gaslight the hell out of us
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shad0w-elemental · 17 days ago
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Day 12: Tome, VOULL NE XATA VOK, MARA LOHK?
would you want to know the Truth, even if it hurts to hear it?
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bromcommie · 18 days ago
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SKREEEECH.png has entered the chat
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skitskatdacat63 · 11 months ago
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Different techniques
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icannotbetrustedalone · 2 years ago
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Well, would you look at that, my panties are gone
Speaking in Tongues (S.R.)
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Summary: Spencer translates a movie for you. Things get a little tense.
Request: reader getting hot and bothered when her and spencer are watching a movie with him translating whispering in her ear? A/N: Filth. Pure filth. Thank you to @foxy-eva for translating for me (and always encouraging me to write). Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Handjob, teasing, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, semi-rough sex Word Count: 1k
MASTERLIST
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When Spencer asked you to join him for casual German cinema, you had expected something innocent. Even after he’d explained that it was an attempt to become more “conversational” in German, you’d never considered how intimate it would become.
When the movie first begins, Spencer keeps a respectful distance. His couch has enough room for you two to sit without touching, but you make sure that you do; just an innocent brushing of thighs. He seems to savor the warmth, though, because Spencer is quick to inch closer.
At first, you are happy. You also lean into him, linking arms with him and holding onto his hand trapped in the middle.
You think you’ve made a smart decision.
Then the dialogue starts.
Spencer’s breath is hot against your ear. He speaks so quietly that you can barely hear him. Although, you wouldn’t have been able to focus even if he’d spoken at a regular volume. Your heart is beating too loudly to hear.
He’s still speaking English, right?
There is a lull between the characters. You try to steady your breathing.
Spencer remains focused on the screen.
The next time he speaks, you squeeze his hand tightly. He jumps but continues to whisper what might as well be sweet nothings into your ears.
The German subtitles blur on the screen. You let go of his hand and turn your palm to his thigh, instead. He jumps but continues to speak, albeit with a rougher, shakier whisper.
You begin to wonder where his limits lie.
The next time that a character speaks, you slide your hand several inches up his thigh. Spencer’s voice catches in his throat. He pants into your ear, yet still tries to translate.
It takes him longer, but he manages.
So, you continue. Between the lines, you inch your way closer to the steadily growing bulge straining against his pants.
Spencer whimpers when you creep your fingers around his length.
He misses a line.
“Keep going,” you whisper as you turn to him.
His pupils are blown and his face has turned the prettiest shade of peach.
“You first,” he challenges.
The still-existent wit earns him your obedience. You can see the simultaneous regret and relief as he realizes that things will only get… harder, as you continue.
Despite the difficulty, he continues to dutifully translate for you. Of course, he could be speaking gibberish and you would allow it. You would allow just about anything to continue your exploration.
Spencer’s voice cracks when you tug at the waistband of his sweats. He outright whines when you pull his aching erection free from their confines.
Then, he continues to translate. For approximately five seconds.
“Fuck,” he groans when your hand wraps around his dick.
You’re pretty sure that isn’t in the movie.
“Focus,” you whisper into his ear.
Then, to be cruel, you nip at his earlobe. You revel in the way it makes him shiver.
“I can’t,” he confesses.
“Try,” you coo, “do it for me.”
He tries. Even when your fingers start to move, he stutters out rough, broken English. You want to pay attention to the movie to better support his desire to learn, but the sweetness of his skin is more alluring than the screen.
You litter him with sloppy kisses while your fingers apply waves of pressure around his dick. By the time you begin lazy strokes, Spencer is already about to sob from the repressed passion.
He hasn’t even touched you, but he feels himself teetering on the edge of oblivion.
"Ich will dich ficken,” he absentmindedly grumbles.
“In English, Spencer,” you tease, failing to realize that he was long past with the teasing.
“I said I want to fuck you.”
Before you can even process what he’s said, he pulls you forward onto his lap. You scramble to compose yourself, but Spencer continues regardless.
His hands are ruthless in their pursuit, pushing under your skirt and forcing your underwear to the side without hesitation. His fingers are just as quick to slip inside you. They also find no hesitation. He groans with relief to find you already dripping with anticipation.
He’s waited long enough. His hand drops to his dick while the other helps position your hips. With one smooth movement, you drop onto his lap as your body accepts all of him.
Spencer wants to take his time, but he knows he won’t be able to last. His thrusts are staggered and rough. You grab hold of his shoulders to try to keep steady, but you find yourself slipping when he starts to move.
You grab his hair, instead. The force with which you do so is matched by the intensity of his hands digging into your hips. He holds you down, pushing himself even deeper into you until there is nowhere left to go.
He still wants more. He cranes his neck forward despite your death grip on his hair. He returns your torture with bruising kisses on your neck.
You cry out. You cling to him, holding his face against your chest and depriving him of everything but you.
He doesn’t protest. He kisses you more. He fucks you as hard as he can until he is gasping for air against your breast.
Then, the world goes quiet as everything left of his resolve shatters. Spencer buries his teeth in the sensitive skin beside your collarbone. His hands keep holding you down, even when your body starts to squirm. He forces himself all the way to the hilt as he comes.
The feeling of his release is like a balm for the pain. It is so warm, and he is so vulnerable, that you are almost happy that his hold is so brutal.
But when he lets go, panting and whimpering like he had been before, you realize that he is beautiful in every iteration.
Spencer is only gentle then. He holds you like something fragile, and you treat him just the same. You focus on the feeling of his hot, steady breath against damp and bruised skin.
“What wonderful sorrow it is to love,” Spencer whispers through the exhaustion.
Your face crinkles with confusion.
“What?” you ask.
“The movie,” he mumbles, "That's the line."
Once you realize, you laugh. He joins you. You both laugh at just how far from the plan you’d strayed.
In the background, the movie entertains itself.
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(Tell me what you thought about this fic here!)
Looking for more to read? Check out my Masterlist here!
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Reid Taglist (Everything Reid): @mrs-dr-reid , @dreatine , @hopefulfangirl24 , @laurakirsten0502 , @dontcallmekittens , @rintheemolion , @andreasworlsboring101 , @imsuperawkward , @wentz2005 , @lovejules888 , @dashneydanger , @materialisthicc , @violetspoetic , @mslowlife 
Complete Taglist (All Works): @cynbx , @emsma11 , @mediocre-writer , @fightingdragonswithwho , @andiebeaword , @jayyeahthatsme 
Thanks for reading!
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rimbaud-fan-page · 1 year ago
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I took that one line where Albatross called Rimbaud “Rando-aniki” and ran a fucking marathon with it.
What do you mean he wasn’t their mentor and didn’t train them for years and didn’t have to put Albatross in time out because he kept throwing knives and didn’t have to stop Pianoman from trying to decapitate him at least once a week and didn’t have Lippmann criticising his “lack of style” 24/7 and didn’t have Doc threatening him in 49 different ways every minute and didn’t have constant stare downs with Iceman because I’m sure that man was a stubborn mf.
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draftingnovels-imagines · 5 months ago
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Incubus who tries not to have sex with you. As an Incubus, sex is what he needs. It's both his lifeline and the thing he enjoys the most. However, even he understands that sex all of the time can be boring or even degrading. So he has found other ways to feed. Holding you close is one of them. His hands are hot, burning like the firey pits of his home. However he never forces you to do anything you don't want to. All he wants is for you to be safe and smiling. Both because it fills him with a foreign happiness and also because that's when your affection tastes the best. He also appreciates a good massage, either giving or receiving. Being summoned gets tiresome and some days he would rather nothing but you helping him relax to his best. Sometimes he massages you, and as you quickly find out, he's not just adept in the bedroom. Still, it's not as good as the full thing. Maybe you do oblige, but if you do, you know it will be on your terms
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syngoniums · 2 months ago
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Snow-on-the-prairie (Euphorbia bicolor) and wild sunflowers (Helianthus annus) bordering some newly bulldozed land.
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uncanny-tranny · 8 months ago
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I hear a lot about "time theft," but I always wonder if there's an equivalent concept for a company or corporation which lies about their employees receiving their due breaks
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artifeast · 3 days ago
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some more telesphore :3
#the kingmaker histories#telesphore winterlich#my art#tel-only doodle dump partially cuz i love him dearly and he's fun to draw and i needed the practice drawing his handsome face ^^#and partially cuz depending on how you count it he's got like 5-7 fewer fanarts (on tumblr) than eisen/colette...#which is so so criminal eviltwisted and makes me so sad. so i took matters into my own hands :3#(though it'd be a fool's errand trying to keep the numbers even permanently LMAO. i also just wanted to draw a bunch of telsies)#(so i might probly fuck up the ratios later by doing this for eisen+colette lol...#i wanna get more consistent/comfortable drawing them all)#with this i have now posted (way) more telsie fanart than every other fanartist combined (excluding meg tuten's art ofc). yippee yippee#(it's not a competition) (but i am still keeping count) (i'm freak)#(but 'm not counting meg's cuz there's so much and i couldn't possibly find it all. plus i can't imagine how much is unposted)#(i just know there's Oodles and i love it all and that is enough for mee)#honestly this should've been hat practice as well but. i do not like drawing hats.#and i struggle with drawing the top of his head anyway so it's still useful practice lmao#if you asked me for my favorite character the answer would simultaneously be:#“i love all three of the protags so much!!! i couldn't possibly pick </3"#and “telesphore <3”#the margin? SO slim. i'm so very obsessed w/ all three of them#unimaginable fondness in my heart
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