#imagine the trauma that would unintentionally come out

[simp4konig]

Extension of @itsagrimm ’s post and conversation which we had 😇✨✨💖

Some additional Nikto headcanons

Word Count: 653

Tag List: ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @rustic-guitar-notes ♡ @best-soup ☆ @lotionlamp ☆ @luci4theminorannoyance ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @nightlyvoids ♡ @skeletalgoats ♡ @aethelwyneleigh27 ☆ @arrozyfrijoles23 ♡ @dobaddo ♡ @the-second-sage ☆ @wil-xyz ☆ @revnatheshadow ☆ @feelya

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Nikto is extremely bitter, and spiteful. His childhood was stolen from him from the moment he became an officer. In addition to this, his torture left him scarred — physically and mentally — and he is conscious of a childhood which he could have had, yet is unconscious of what the childhood which he did have was like. He either does not remember, or the memories have been repressed; either way, he recognises what he has lost, for he is met with the naively mischievous glint in the eyes of the boyish rookies that arrive with the optimism of a young, hopeful lad, and he is cursing under his breath in Russian, resenting the happiness and zest which they give off, contrasting the spite and bitterness which festers within him.

Perhaps he displays said “boyish” behaviour in order to reclaim some of the innocence which he had when he was a young boy; again, either it is intentional, and he behaves in such a way as to I personally believe that he doesn't even realise that he behaves in such a way: in Nikto's eyes, he has prematurely matured and aged, making him see through the lens of a damaged man; yet, that same lens may be making him blind to the boyish behaviour which he unintentionally displays, evident in the scraps of content that we are fed of him 😓

Maybe Nikto has two boys inside of him which define him, both the same age, yet different: one is the child which was robbed of its innocence and forced to endure atrocities unimaginable; the other is the child, innocent, which has been locked away, wondering why it cannot be let out. Neither is aware of the other, and it's all the more tragic.

Exploring this point further, Nikto being 28–29 is surprising, as he acts far older than his age. It's as if the experiences which he has experienced have aged him mentally, and he genuinely feels the pain of it all straining his psyche. It's tragic that someone so young was subjected to such torture so soon, and be forced to wear a mask 😟…

Given how the wiki states that “he has an uncanny ability… to hide his true identity”, it is ironic. What if from his perspective he has hidden his identity so well that there is none to be found anymore? What if he perceives himself as an actual nobody after having been done so immorally wrong? What if as a result of his torture and lasting trauma he has had his personality and identity stolen, just like his childhood, and is therefore unable to rediscover it?

…Maybe the mask is his subconscious way of protecting the remains of the innocent child, wanting to preserve the past purity of his child self (before being inevitably forced to mature as a result of his environment, and consequently his other experiences?*)

*Note, I can imagine that Nikto's childhood was robbed at some point as an adolescent, but he was still innocent and did not grasp what it was. After his torture, the truth behind his childhood may have come to light, and shed darkness on what was otherwise something positive. Furthermore, he could be clinging on to what little remains of that innocent child.

In addition to own personal headcanon (where he is blunt), he probably spouts the darkest jokes and has a morbid sense of humour. I don't necessarily believe that he would use humour to cope with his circumstances, as in all honesty, he does not strike me as man who indulges in idle banter like “haha i got tortured guys 😎,, sooo anyways 0/10 would not recommend 😰😰 — my other voices wouldnt either, trust 💪🙏” 💀,,

,,but, I certainly believe that due to how desensitised he has become to morbid matters, he has reached a point in his life where the horror amuses him, and doesn't affect him.

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A/N Finished writing this yesterday at 23:11 instead of actually fucking SLEEPING 🥱😫😫,, my priorities are notbthe ones that i should be prioritising lmfao 💀

Surprisingly posted something else 😱😱❓⁉️⁉️❗ this is VERY uncharacteristic of me!!??? I was supposed to post one post and disappear for ~3 months?? 🤔🤔🫡🤨🧐🧐🤨

Been reading Metro 2033 rn and its [Redacted, as the rant was two paragraphs] 😍😍

Not much else to say lmao — been existing i suppose 🤯

[ventitititi]

HEY THERE!!!!

Sooo, I was thinking and wanna know your thoughts about what are genshin men insecure about their bodies? Scars, height, weight, colors, shapes etc etc (sfw and/or nsfw)

What does their s/o unintentionally do that reassures them?

My personal favorites are Tighnari, Kaveh and Diluc. But feel free to choose whoever you want!!!

Thanks a lot!! 💕

Oh my goodness this is cute!! Of course I'll do all the boys mentioned<33 spare me for kaveh and tighnari, its my first time writing them😭 i hope you enjoy! Short and sweet<33

Cw/tw: nsfw mentions, Scars, trauma, insecurities

Tighnari

- i imagine he has scars left after being struck by lightning, and that he can be self concious of them

- i think he may also sometimes be a little insecure about his height, since he's rather short

- you pressing kisses to the edges of his scars that peek out often remind him that the marks don't bother you

- honestly, i personally think lightning scars are quite pretty, aside from the painful reminder they can serve. If you ever off handedly mention that, perhaps the morning after while tracing them, i think his cheeks would be positively glowing as he processed they didn't impact your view of him

- on his height, I don't think its something that would truly bother him much, but he'd definitely be internally happy about grabbing things from higher shelves for you

- unfortunate side effect if your both short: you now need a tall friend to reach the uppermost cupboards, a foot stool, or just plain not use them

Kaveh

- all i know is that he gives pretty boyfriend vibes

- he might be tall, and buff from swinging around the claymore, but mans enjoys his self-care

-probably a bit insecure about the scars/callouses littering his hands from time spent training

- also from what i know of him, which is VERY little, i get the impression he cares about how others view him, and can be sensitive about his outward appearance

- will be beyond happy to hear any compliments you give him, regardless of if they're about his appearance or something else

- when it comes to you telling him how pretty/attractive he is though, the words soothe any small anxieties he might have about himself

- headcanon that he's rather pale for a sumeru citizen due to him spending so much time indoors drafting blueprints and such, and may also find this to be an insecurity

- it's hard to not quite fit in, i dunno how you would soothe this worry unintentionally but if you reassure him when he voices them, I'm pretty sure you'd be stuck with him forever

Diluc

-another pale boi™, but this time because he's largely nocturnal

- probably secretly worries he'd intimidate you tbh, like he's rather tall & buff and he knows he can have a grumpy expression unintentionally

-or maybe worry about accidentally hurting you (*cough* trauma *cough*)

- smiles a little whenever you come up excitedly to show him something, you being so happy to seek him out reassures him that no, he didn't scare you (especially not, judging by that flower crown you'd placed on his head once)

- prefers to give compliments imo, but is secretly pleased whenever you voice how attractive/pretty/handsome he is (probably gloats about it a little tbh lol)

[hundredandsix]

✩ camp counselor au? ✩

✩ So...what do we think about a camp counselor au with Ellie? Except let's make it a Christian camp because I need my religious trauma to be useful for something.

✩ Maybe she's about to graduate, but her program requires volunteer hours, so she signs up to be a counselor at the camp and is honestly really pissed about it. But then she gets paired with you. She thinks you're this stuck-up, church-obsessed girl, but she doesn't know that your parents made you go and you hate it just as much as her.

✩ I can totally imagine her unintentionally ruining one of those dumb purity demonstrations. Like the teacher has someone lick a cupcake and then asks everyone in the room if they would eat it. It's supposed to demonstrate how "unpure" things are "undesirable," but Ellie is just so bored and wasn't paying attention. So she volunteers to eat the cupcake and doesn't understand why everyone is so taken aback.

✩ Imagine her telling stories to the kids around the campfire. She doesn't think they're that scary, but she ends up facing your wrath after three kids wake you up in the middle of the night from nightmares.

✩ Maybe a kid is acting up, and instead of accepting the consequence she gave him, he says that "a demon must have been inside of him" to try and get out of it. Ellie just stares at him because none of the training she did prepared her for that response.

✩ Her coming up with the most creative ways to discourage PDA.

✩ And of course, sneaking around with her because the stakes are even higher at this camp. Will this just be a summer fling or will you stay in touch?

I might write something full-length for this. Any ideas?

[artbyclo-again]

Rambling about character development in the new digital circus episode because holy moly i have a lot of thoughts

god this episode was so wonderful for fully rounding out the characters so far because we got to see parts of each character that we didn’t really see as much in the pilot

(im gonna put a cut so this post doesn’t take too much space but i talk about each of the human characters here)

i could make a whole separate post about pomnis development this ep but she especially is a great example of this; she spends almost the entire pilot panicking (she has some moments like with ragatha where she tries staying calm and figuring things out but she’s still clearly stressed the whole time) meanwhile in this ep despite how she’s still miserable in the beginning, unlike the pilot where we mainly saw other characters (mostly just ragatha and sometimes caine) reassuring/guiding her, she has a moment to calm down and we even see her empathize with another character and try reassure him.

i feel like her little heart to heart with gummigoo is a turning point for her this episode, it helps her realize and talk about her own worries of feeling like nothing to the other castmates and it gives her more confidence and comfort having someone going through the same issue, it’s after this that she seems more open to the other castmates particularly ragatha compared to how much she seemed to shut down interactions in the beginning of the ep or just not respond. and then!!! seeing how they still hold a funeral for each abstraction to remember them shows her how much the other characters still care and value eachother and that would soon include her as well!!

speaking of ragatha we also see her still going with her same habits in the pilot; focusing on putting the other performers first, comforting them and in pomnis case, trying to sweep the whole “you leaving me” thing under the rug despite still seeming hurt by it and pomni still feeling guilty. this is how she copes but we see how much these habits backfire on her; they don’t properly communicate and talk about what happened in the pilot, pomni doesn’t fully apologize because she spaces out while ragathas talking (i can imagine this might bottle up for the both of them and lead to conflict later) and despite her good intent she unintentionally comes off as patronizing “i’m not a child you don’t have to hype me up”

in the pilot ragathas more of a comforting/guiding character but in this episode we see her worry about pomni the whole time knowing how horrible her first day was but with how overwhelmed pomni still is she’s not able to reciprocate any of ragathas interactions. We see how this stresses ragatha out because again helping others is how she copes, she doesn’t know what to do when this doesn’t work and immediately thinks of the worst, that pomni doesn’t like her until kinger reassures her that she just needs time

AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, KINGER!!! ITS KINGER WHO REASSURES HER he’s still pretty out of it like we see in the pilot but he has that moment of being a more grounding figure for ragatha which is really nice because again we mainly see ragatha being the one trying to comfort the other characters! and it also gives a lot more insight into his character; despite his memory issues and trauma he still cares a lot about the other characters and tries helping and giving them advice when he’s able to

we also see more of zoobles character even though they were barely in the episode. they were pretty blunt and uncaring towards the other performers in the pilot but spent the entire episode off screen preparing kaufmos funeral!

jax and gangle weren’t super different from the pilot but there were some parts of their characters that were still expanded on that’s worth talking about i think

jax was just….. a lot more aggressive this episode then the pilot LMFAO we already knew he was gonna be an ass so it’s not really a surprise but it’s fun seeing the more chaotic parts of his personality; not just that but in the pilot there was a moment when kaufmo was being put in the cellar where he looked mad but they definitely emphasized his mask breaking more in this ep when they mentioned the funeral. I really think he cares about the abstractions a lot more then he lets on but he doesn’t want to be seen in a emotionally vulnerable way and that’s why he didn’t attend the funeral. i think he’s such a jerk to the other characters because he doesn’t wanna get attached to them because there’s always a chance they could abstract so i’m really interested on how he’s gonna develop later down the line

we got to see gangle with her comedy mask!! in the beginning!! i loved her screentime but there isn’t much i can think of to say at the moment but we did see some of her art too which is so cute to me and also upsetting because she drew her and kaufmo laughing becAUSE SHE FELT GUILTY ABOUR NOT LAUGHING AT HIS JOKES 😭😭 i like to think she draws art for the other characters pretty frequently…

anyways thanks for reading i just really needed to ramble abt this ep i really loved it

[2309analysis]

HEADCANON: Alright, I have this headcanon(s) I have been thinking about all day today - Splinter would not understand “hey bro/dude/gang” slang. If somebody was like, “yo! What’s hanging, dude?” He’d just stare blankly and raise an eyebrow, “excuse me, what?” Poor rat just feels like he heard riddles coming from a person’s mouth. A few lessons on today’s society is definitely sliding in Splinter’s schedule.

If he would ever, and I mean ever, become friends and close with somebody. Who’d I genuinely think the kind of “friend” it’d be; laid-back, chill, nothing phases them, and has a pretty dry sense of humor. Practically laughs at everything or anything with no real serious and ill intentions.

I also would think the friendship would be extremely therapeutic and healthy for Splinter. The complete lack of any real seriousness and constraint of anything constantly around Splints’ and not being his sons would balance out so many of his own toxic traits. Especially over his uprightness and complete disregard to consider his sons’ wishes. (Unintentionally, hear me out, not calling him a bad father)

Having a friend who can put his arm around Splinter’s shoulder, and easily look at him eye-to-eye, and simply say “relax.” Is kinda what Splinter needs every once in a while; having someone to fully understand what he’s going through, and letting him warm-up to them. Allowing Splinter to fall on their back’s, and feel safe knowing he’s watched out. (Lowkey making a ship???) Especially sending his sons’ out every night to stop something that could always potentially kill them.

Splinter lives in fear, and he’s right to do so. Knowing the Shedder is after them, and their human friends’, terrified him, and rightfully so, causes self-conflict and tension between the relationships with his sons. He starts to become harsher with training, and more strict on their freedom and carefreeness. Meditates more, isolating himself, and trying to loathe him off from stress. While still aiding, and training teenagers. He already has it tough being a single parent, but knowing you’re and your kids are being hunted? Amplifies every fear and heightened tension by ten-fold.

Him gaining a trustworthy friend, and if, potential partner would completely water down those feelings and traits. I’m willing to bet, if Splints’ can get his hands on somebody who’s his age, and willing to listen and trust them, he’s a lot less freakishly insecure and uptight. Having somebody who gives him a voice of reason, rather than a dismissive attitude about a demand, might change his ways of thinking or perceptions on the boys. Then, maybe by chance, help Splinter and the boys grow closer together and stronger than ever. (These mutants need to get down and talk with their father once in a while)

Some smaller headcanons/examples of what I see if Splinter could form a normal and healthy friendship:

They’d play chess. I would imagine that Splinter loves strategy games, and be thrilled to finally have someone up his age and maturity range to play with. It induces the brain to think faster, smarter, and more efficient compared to other people. Splinter is growing of age: his ability mentally will deteriorate whether it’s liked or not. Donnie does occasionally join to text some new strategies and tricks.

Advice. Oh, god, the advice/therapy sessions would go on for HOURS. Mostly just Splinter trauma-dumping a well-tuned adult who can properly handle high emotional drama with a healthy and stable/supportive brain. Would really help with Splinter’s self-inclination of toxic and unhealthy guilt-tripping all the time.

Training/Weaponry. I can totally see the friend indulging into Splinter’s routine and get giddy and wants to try to become a Ninja themselves. Granted, I think they’d also be less serious about, because they do got lives’ to live and go to. So, none of the hand-on serious, you’re going out and saving the world, risking your life to do so, kind of crap. Although, they learn a few nice moves, and how to properly handle weapons. Although, for more self-defense and combat experience. Bonus points: Raph joins in, and spares a little with Splinter. Just know that’s a giant win in Raph’s book.

Cleaning up the lair. Splinter would probably want to feel a little traditional and clean up for a guest, (act like he tried doing more and more for April) therefore, kinda forces the boys to clean up after themselves. Especially Mikey, and, will occasionally help clearing things out the way. I mean, bigger things, such as folding blinds/shades(?) and arcade games. Although, he believes the boys can go and do it themselves, but they secretly love hanging out with him outside of training, so they beg for him to help. (Even Raph)

That’s all I kinda have for now. Although, I will totally be cooking up more TMNT headcanons, and such. I hope you guys enjoy this wholesome treat. Also, no, I am not trying to portray Splinter as a bad father, but the guy has done flaws. Like all of us, nobody is perfect, and remember that!

[jackdaniel69nice]

Hc of dark shadow and eri? If you have done that already dark shadow and kota I just wanna hear about his relationship with the kids :)

I did do an Eri post right here buuut I always have more to say about her and the kiddos…well more to draw anyway

Eri isn’t very good at “being a child” because of everything she went through but tokoyami is determined to make sure she doesn’t end up like him relearns how to be a kid. She isn’t very good at imaginative playing but tokoyami and shadow have that in spades so they come up with games like pirate princesses or space cowboys.

Obviously I had to do the obligatory sharing an apple together because it’s a crime not to.

As far as dark shadow specifically is concerned they have such a strong a protective instinct for anything they think is small and innocent. They give Eri presents like a night light they used to have when they were little and often visit in the middle of the night to make sure she is safe and doesn’t have any nightmares. I believe Rewind only works on living creatures and since dark shadow is only made of dark energy it wouldn’t work on them so even if she lost control they are the perfect person to help her calm down. They know a lot about being afraid of adults and doctors specially so they can offer comfort by understanding how she’s feeling. Dark Shadow also understands what it’s like to be lonely at a young age and knows how to deal with the isolation (usually comfort stuffed animals and talking about it with an adult). Really they are just the perfect babysitter/big sibling because they love to take care of people, comfort them, and are fun to be around!!

Dark shadow is often described as childish so I think their playful personality would be appealing to children once you get over their appearance. I vaguely mentioned Yuka (from the light novels) before but shadow definitely has a knack for taking care of kids.

Kota used to hate heroes because his parents died sacrificing themselves. He is full of grief and trauma and it manifests as rage the same way shadow’s does. If they met I think dark shadow would like him and obviously offer the same comforts and coping techniques as Eri. Unlike with Eri though their more gremlin side would come out and they would get into trouble to have some fun. I’m not going to say dark shadow is perfect with kids because they are far from perfect themself and could certainly teach them bad habits unintentionally. Hell maybe they even teach Eri to be a bit more rebellious and chaotic, she could certainly use it. Dark shadow does try to be on their best behavior for them though.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

sunflower, chapter seven

summary: on a dark and stormy night, Y/n finally reveals some stuff to Spencer

warnings: references to 9x13 and 9x14, talk of death, talk of trauma, crying, unintentionally skipping meals, cuddling, kissing

word count: 1426

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You’d always loved the rain. How soothing it was as a soundtrack, the smell of it when you opened a window and poked your nose out. It had always been very good at calming you down, but not tonight.

Earlier, you’d finally talked to your therapist about the nightmares you’d been having nonstop for the past few weeks. It wasn’t the first time the two of you had talked about how your parents had passed, but it never got any easier. You were exhausted when you got home, completely drained from the horrid conversation. Not being able to do anything, you’d just sat down and stayed in that curled-up position for hours.

You were currently still there, completely immobile, clutching a pillow to your stomach. Looking down, you reread the text you’d gotten earlier that night.

From: Spencer

Dear Y/n.

I just finished up work and I’m about to head over to Georgetown for a Korean film festival they are throwing there. Do you want to come? It’s completely fine if you don’t feel up for it, I just wanted to ask anyway. If you don’t, I hope to see you when I get back. Would be nice to get a goodnight hug after being away on a case for the last few days.

Sincerely, Spencer

From: Y/n

Sorry, not tonight

All you wanted was to have Spencer be here, to feel his calming presence, but you didn’t want to burden him or ruin his plans. Peeking up at the clock, it occurred to you that you’d completely missed dinnertime. Your body was too numb, not letting you feel the signals of hunger.

Listening closely, you finally heard a noise out in the quiet hallway. Shuffling footsteps and the clicking of a lock. With a deep breath, you moved for the first time in hours, body protesting, hurting from how stationery you’d been. Grasping onto whatever you could reach for support, you made your way to the door.

Once you were in the dark hall, you kept your hand on the wall, tracing the texture, trying to keep yourself grounded. Once you were standing in front of Spencer’s front door, you took a moment to gather yourself, then finally knocked.

When he answered the door, his smile melted away quickly, “Y/n.”

The sound of his voice felt like the sweetest relief imaginable, causing fresh tears to sting in your eyes, “hi, can I come in?”

Reaching out, he gently pulled you inside, but you kept on moving till your body crashed into his, shakily wrapping your arms around his sides. Immediately hugging you back, he muttered into your hair, “what do you need? What can I do?”

“Can we just watch the rain for a bit?” you sniffled into his shirt.

“Of course,” he agreed, guiding you over towards the brown leather couch in the middle of the room.

“Would you mind if we sat on the floor?” you asked, in a small voice. He just nodded and went to grab all of the blankets and pillows off the couch. Sitting down first, he then helped you down as well.

Enveloping you tightly in both blankets, you protested his kind actions by inching closer and hugging the ends around him as well. He picked up your legs, pulling them over his own, bringing you that much closer.

Letting your head come to rest on his chest you stared out into the storm. His hand came up to softly stroke your hair, gently scratching at your scalp every once and a while. “It never made much sense to me why Britain’s so famous for its rain. It’s not even the place that gets the most rain in the world, that’s Māwsynrām.”

Appreciating his attempts at distracting your clouded mind, you revealed in a low voice, “I was 15 when my parents died.”

His hand stilled at your words, staying quiet and letting you continue, “it was a car accident, my sibling Stevie was there too, but my parents, they-… they didn’t make it,” turning your head to look down, your hands started to fiddle with the bottom of Spencer’s cardigan, “Stevie’s only two years older than me, so they couldn’t be my legal guardian yet. We had to live with our uncle for a while, I never really knew him before that, but he was our only living relative. He, h-… he wasn’t a very kind man… he said a lot of-, did some-… but as soon as Stevie turned 18, we were out of there… I know it’s been a long time, ten years, but I don’t think I’ve healed as much as I envisioned back then. Ten years. That felt like a long time, so I thought it would be better now, or better than it is.”

Tugging lightly at one of the small buttons on his cardigan, you kept going “I’ve been having a lot of nightmares every night for the past few weeks. I used to get them a lot more, but now it’s mostly just when I’m too stressed or during the wintertime. It always gets bad at this time of year. They are the kind where when I wake up, my body doesn’t really understand that I’m not still in the dream, so it has to react. Most of the time I cry, like immediately just start sobbing and hyperventilating. Sometimes it turns into a panic attack. Sometimes I just wake up and my body is frozen, I can’t move. It does that too when I’m awake, that’s my fight or flight instinct. Freeze up, real practical.”

Moving your head slightly to look back out the window, you waited for him to react, and after a bit, you heard him softly choke out, “I am so sorry, Y/n.”

Lifting your head to look up into his eyes, you didn’t say anything back, just let out a shaky breath. If you had thought that you were tired before, after vocalizing those terrible memories, you were so much more than tired. “Would it be alright if I slept here tonight? I really don’t wanna be alone right now,” you confessed.

Tugging a stray piece of hair behind your ear, he breathed out, “yeah,” then carefully lifted the two of you up, practically carrying you the few feet to his bed. Crawling under the covers, you nestled into him, sprawling one arm over his torso, and hiking a leg up lazily.

Noticing how hesitant his touch was over your body, you tilted your head up to give him a small peck on his neck and started rubbing soothing patterns over his side. That was all he needed to gain the confidence to hold you properly and not soon after that, being completely spent, the two of you drifted off to sleep.

The sound of a phone ringing rudely awoke you. With a groan, Spencer rolled over to pick it off the nightstand and answer it.

“Hello?” he said quietly, voice deep from sleep.

Lulling your eyes open you saw him go from having his eyes closed, barely awake, to snapping his eyes open in horror and jumping a bit under your touch at the message he heard.

“I’ll be there in a bit. See you there, Garcia,” he hung up, now very much awake.

“Spencer? What is it?” you mumbled, sitting up a bit on your elbow as he quickly got out of bed.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. If this was anything else, I would stay,” he apologized, “I-, something happened to my friend.”

“What?” you breathed out, sitting up straight, “are they- “not letting yourself finish the question.

“I don’t know, I-, I’m really sorry, Y/n.”

Grabbing a hold of his hand, “Spencer, please don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, it’s me that should apologize, I’m the one who came over, the one who insisted on staying.”

“Don’t,” he cautioned, “I want you here. I’m so happy that you reached out for help, for my help.”

Giving him a sad smile, you squeezed his hand.

“I have to go,” he stated but didn’t move, just stayed there, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at you.

“Yeah,” you agreed.

Leaning forward to kiss you, he stopped right before your lips could meet. Noses touching, sharing breaths, he whispered, “I don’t wanna leave you.”

Bringing a hand up to his cheek, you stroked it lightly, as your lip quivered, “I’ll be okay. You go.”

Staying there a moment longer, he pulled away and didn’t look back.

next chapter

© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[cringelordofchaos]

Tolkien Black headcanons !!!!!!

Tw for multiple mentions of getting shot

Non-binary + romantically attracted to girls (based on Tupperware character description), pronouns - he/they

A bit of a Math+physics nerd + one of the best students in class (Cartman canonically cheats off of them on tests sometimes)

Has a really healthy and wholesome relationship with their parents + they sometimes either intentionally or unintentionally embarrass him in front of his friends but all in good fun (think of Ninjago Jay's relationship with Ed and Edna for reference)

Bit of a complicated relationship with Nichole (canon but i forgot in which episode it was said, but Nichole told Cartman that she and Tolkien are having some issues in their relationship? But it's not any of Cartmans business) (though he loves her and they even canonically have a picture of them together in his room)

Best friends with Craig, Clyde's a close second

Already mentioned it in my Craig headcanons posts but before Craig got with Tweek he would joke about proposing to Tolkien in the future so he could live off of their and their parents wealth lmao

Most serious/realistic??? out of Craig's gang

Has a bit more goofy / derpy side but is mostly embarrassed by it

Voice cracks in the future come to be the death of him

TW TRAUMA + POLICE BRUTALITY - is still quite distraught from being shot in the arm by a cop (in South ParQ Vaccination Special? Or was it on The Pandemic Special?) and is still distraught from that time his parents were arrested for no reason (in TFBW, where they also constantly targeted him and treated him (a ten year old child) like a threat), especially since most their childhood, like all the other kids, they were told that cops are their friends they can trust! But now he knows he can't trust them and avoids them whenever possible

Friendly

Canonically likes basketball (I like to imagine they sometimes play with Kyle!)

Favorite colour is purple (NO WAYYYY WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHTTTTTT /s)

Canonically feels out of place sometimes because of their family being rich

Sometimes takes the role of "the mom friend" (idk why. based on vibes. screw me)

Cringe TikTok user (canon 😞)

Not too much of a nerd like his dad

Since they actually hate that their name is Tolkien (cuz they don't like JRR Tolkien's books) maybe they change it in the future? I don't know what to though (but sometimes likes Token better)

Kind of understandably tired of everyone's shit

Wendy once said "I've dated him before, he's really nice!" or something like that sooo I take it as canon

Hates Cartman and has every single right to do so (he threw a rock at their head, shot them, and is just a racist asshole all the fucking time to them 😭😭)

But wait - what I don't understand is that they said "all that dungeons and dragons shit is lame" but in the stick of truth (haven't played it, only saw like 2 scenes in it) they were fully on board with playing fantasy? Like -

"THANK YOU FOR THY MESSAGE, TRAVELER! I SHALL MAKE HASTE TO KUPA KEEP!" - that sounds pretty nerdy to me Tolkien. Maybe they DO like nerdy shit but are just embarrassed to be associated with it???????? Idk I'm starting to get confused. Tolkien hyper fans / analysts if you're out there please help me

Canonically plays bass and still has his bass guitar in his room as shown in TFBW

Good person that usually puts others before themselves (like when Cartman told him to "be the bigger person" and tricked him into going over to him and getting shot by him)(still stands his ground and doesn't let people walk over him)

On southparkstudios.com it was said they're good friends with kenny and share struggles related to income (opposite sides of the same coin) so maybe they hang out sometimes. that'd be kinda cool.

Cat person I've decided though I don't think he cares too much abt the dogs vs cats debate

Gifted + talented kid but sometimes might be a perfectionist with overtly high expectations for themselves???????? Idfk what I'm on dude

Good memory

Likes to roleplay

Can't tell if he prefers fiction or nonfiction cuz of stick of truth but also because of the whole hating his name thing Eufhfhfuufnceucb

Ermmmm i think that's it for now Byeeeee god im so cringe

[dearfizz]

Not So Shoujo Love Story Hanna Characterisation in Ep 91

it's the explosion episode

spoilers until ep 103. I also gush and compliment @curryukuu 's writing in this. She isn't active on tumblr as much anymore but if she sees this, hi.

Re-reading this episode makes me focus a lot more on Hanna's pov instead of the explosion. Hanna was distancing herself from Rei. There is a canon explanation now in ep 103 where Hanna said that she was jealous and felt inferior and that she wasn't good enough. BUT I HAVE MY OWN INTERPRETATION.

Hanna's dialogue in ep 103

TO ME, she wanted to abandon feelings of Rei. I know it's very unlike Hanna because she loves Rei so so so much, BUT HEAR ME OUT (if there's anyone out there reading this)

She's been chasing Rei for like a season and a half by now. In season 2, Rei's a lot more responsive to Hanna's flirting (it was so much insufferable good lord I felt like a third wheeler read their interaction sometimes).

(weird basketball(?) analogy here) The ball has kinda just stayed in her court since FOREVER. Like I know that Rei said that she cannot return Hanna's romantic feelings. The ball her is Hanna's feelings btw and it's just... been there. Rei doesn't mind that Hanna has been romantically interested in her since ep 1. Heck, she doesn't even mind advances and flirting from Hanna. HOWEVER, as of S2 Rei has only been toying with it. Rei is literally flirting back with Hanna. Both unintentionally and intentionally. I'm sure Hanna's aware of whatever, not platonic tension, both of them have. But Rei not passing the ball back after all of that toying IS a move in of itself.

At this point, Rei is STILL holding on to her comphet version of love. (idk if their sexuality have been canonized, but Rei is so lesbian to me. It really makes sense to me thematically, but if Rei is canon as bi I would respect that. I would keep the idea of Lesbian Rei to myself). Shoujo mangas really was a trauma coping mechanism. That in turned, really made her have internalised comphet. The whole point of her trying to find the perfect guy was because she didn't want to end up like her parents. It's so hard to throw away something that was literally your will to live (I assume) for, like, what a decade of your life?

So after Hanna's visit to her house, she finally gets why Rei's not passing the ball back. At that bridge, I'm pretty sure she's convinced a romantic relationship is never going to come out of it. Ever. For Hanna, it's better to just pack your back, distance yourself, and move on. If I was Hanna, I would have literally done the same. Like, just imagine. Your girl is really REALLY adamant in finding the perfect guy. And you're not a guy. There is no point in any of this flirting and advances anymore. It's better to leave those feelings behind. It's just. Not meant to be. That's how life is in reality.

IF this story is a lot more realistic, Rei would have confronted Hanna about why Hanna's distancing herself from her. Let's just say that MY interpretation of why Hanna is actually canon. Rei would respect Hanna's wishes of wanting to be distant with her. Rei and Hanna would be physically and emotionally apart. This is the period where Rei reflects and realizes that hey, I want Hanna in my life. And in a romantic way. Throw in some angst in there. Then Rei would confess to Hanna. Boom they get together. Idk how this would turn out with the Canon reason, but I think it would be roughly the same?

BUT THIS STORY IS A FEVER DREAM, AND I LOVE NSSLS STORY BECAUSE OF THAT

Did you check nssls tag on webtoon? It's COMEDY. Not romance (even though it's very romcom to me). There shall not be long-lasting angst. Nuh uh. Not in this household. So curryuku does what curryuku does best. Cook up an unhinged plotline.

Alien world domination plot is now REAL and CANON from ep 92 - 102. Rei got Isekai-ed and is thrown into a world that she has been wanting and dreaming for so long. A world where she can chase and pine for the perfect, handsomest guy. A world where she has a perfect family. But she realizes that this isn't what she wanted. She wanted her friend's back. She wanted Taro back. But most importantly

she realizes she wants Hanna.

More than that perfect, handsomest guy that she's been dreaming of. That plotline did exactly just that. It achieves the same thing as my small reality au paragraph does. But in its own unique.

The Rei Isekai-ed episodes really felt like curryuku was holding me by the scruff. THE ABSOLUTE CHOKEHOLD IT HAS ON ME. No plot line in that comic, heck even media, has ever had that effect on me. Life LITERALLY stopped for like 5 min every Tuesday for me. Idc if I have class going on rn I'm going to read it in class (I'm in architecture, and the class is just consultation. The lecturer really isn't teaching anything it's a 1-1 thing). It had me on the edge of my seat. It had me crying and screaming. LIKE LOOK AT THIS PANEL.

That's honestly so much better than a love confession imo. It was so sweet it made me sick. My friends are SO sick of me talking about nssls for like 2 months ish. The only complaint I had was that I just wish the arc had lasted more than 10 episodes. But I really don't mind that much.

Idk how to end this. Curryuku, your brain is so fascinating. Thank you for producing nssls. Seriously. I might get a nssls tattoo.

[dracomort]

One of my favourite things about Bluebeard is Draco’s unprocessed grief for his parents. Him imagining his parents having tea in a different room of the Australian mansion and pretending they’re sat behind him at Christmas js hits me in the feels, and also leads me to ask how would Draco process it eventually? How long would it take him? Has he come to terms with it by the time of The Diadem?

His unprocessed grief was definitely one of the things that stood out to me once I switched to Draco POV for Bluebeard and got into his head. It's a uniquely difficult experience for him. No one in the world has experienced what he has, and he can't confide in anyone other than Tom, lest he be thought insane or risk causing some sort of time paradox (at least... a bigger one than he already caused by spilling the beans to voldemort). He can't even be vague about 'a death in the family' or whatever because he isn't exactly mourning their deaths... since they will likely still be born in the future. It's the loss of the people that they were to him, closer to mourning a parent with dementia, I suppose.

And on top of that, Tom is about the least sympathetic ear possible, since he is quite confident that dead parents is ideal. If Draco's parents weren't dead/pre-birth, he'd prob suggest offing them anyway. That murdering his father did, in fact, not cure his deep seated resentment and abandonment issues is another matter.

I would say that grief comes out predominately when Draco isn't as close with Tom. As Tom is the only one who actually knows his past—and is, even unintentionally, the kind of person who elicits intense personal connection by nature of his personality—Draco develops a real emotional dependency on him to meet his needs for friendship, family and romantic love. All of his eggs are in one basket, so to speak, which is why the loneliness, guilt and misery in Bluebeard Chapter 3 hits him far harder than it would have if he'd still had his support network in place. To not have a single person in the world who has his best interests at heart is a foreign experience to Draco and very upsetting. It's also yet another thing that Tom can't understand as he has never had a support network. The contrast between the effects of similar traumas experienced at critically different ages is a whole other topic though.

Draco is an excellent compartmentaliser—arguably to his own detriment—so rather than process his grief, he shoves it down and ignores it, bar those occasions when his isolation is impossible to ignore. I think if Tom does leave England, even briefly, Draco will struggle to continue ignoring reality. He's the sort of person who uses social stimulus to numb negative emotions.

Lucius and Narcissa being born in this world will likely be the kind of comfort and closure he needs. He'd still miss them but it wouldn't be as severe. Now, if he's fucked up the timeline to the degree that his parents aren't born... that's when he'll actually have to come to terms with their deaths. Deaths caused by him.

[weebsinstash]

On my platonic yandere Batfam bullshit again thinking about, like, deliberately dramatic scenarios because I crave emotional tension

-imagine if Bruce gets called in to regressed!Reader's school because you got in a fist fight with another kid, and this kid is the son of one of his prominent business partners and Bruce, uh, doesn't immediately believe you when you state for him and the principal why you got into a fight because, hey he knows that boy, he isn't THAT bad! And Bruce scolds you and makes you apologize and even grounds you once you two are in the car alone and you're just noticeably extremely angry and quiet to the point you won't even come out of your room for dinner. And after some time has passed, days even, a couple members of the fam are in a room together with you and someone cracks a joke about you losing your temper over a misunderstanding and you just, stare directly at them as you pull out your phone, press play on a video, and walk away as they watch where you had been trying to take a photo of something like idk a flower or the weather and began accidentally filming after Selina helped dropped you off at school and the footage caught the boy outright calling her a slut for what she was wearing

And of course Bruce is upset because that kid insulted Catwoman and also got some swings back at you (he's probably proud to a certain degree that you defended Selina and shes absolutely delighted when she hears about it) but he asks "well why didn't you tell me you had proof im the first place" and you just spit at him "oh so I need PROOF for you to BELIEVE ME?" And extra bonus points if Reader has their old memories back and hits him with "after everything you've done to me, I finally ask for your help and ACTUALLY needed you this ONE TIME and you couldn't even believe me? Wow, my hero 🙄" so now he knows he's broken your heart AND you're back to the "old you" that he wants to, father all the depression and trauma out of

-since Dick, Barbara, and Reader would all be going to a prestigious school I think of like, what if your class got kidnapped for ransom while on a field trip. And Robin and Batgirl look over to you thinking you're going to panic and freak out but you're suspiciously calm, or, calmer than the anxiety stricken adopted 'sibling' they've had this whole time, and maybe despite being kidnapped by like, idk, Babyface or Black Mask or Two Face, and maybe you even just outright insult them and it becomes horribly obvious to them "oh not only do you have your memories back, they've unintentionally turned you into an explosive powder keg of repressed anger and frustration because they betrayed what little trust you had left"

You just look at Two Face and start fucking with him, this criminal looking down as a teenager starts roasting him way too casually and maybe with facts you shouldn't even know, things you remember from your time as a hero before. "Hey Harvey, what's hanging, it's been a while. Hey can I ask a question? You ever think about just outright asking someone like I dunno Bruce Wayne to fix that fucked up meat gristle face of yours? Like, I'm sure having half your body resemble the same consistency of a breakfast sausage has its uses in intimidation, but, like, I'm sure if you just walked up to Batman and said 'hey if you make me look less like a rotisserie chicken I'll quit crime' and he would probably just like, HAND the money for the sugery to you, like, do you think Batmobile money falls out of the sky, he's clearly fucking loaded"

And of course the follow up/alternative of "the stress triggers Reader's metagene or old memories or both and you just start whooping ass unapologetically and Barb and Dick are sweating because they're trying not to break incognito but like you're significantly hurting these dudes, you're clearly really angry and upset and taking it out on them" and tbh I imagine Batman already has contingencies for this possibility. He shows up in costume and Two Face has already fled but you're standing there in your preppy school uniform now dirty and torn, blood on your knuckles, about to beat a man unconscious while your classmates either cower or cheer or fear you. If Reader has some sort of magic, then he just has to get Nth metal from Hawkgirl or Hawkman, maybe he'll make it a cute bracelet, just a nice gift from Dad. Bodily autonomy to use your own powers and be an adult again, what's that? He's disappointed in you for caving into the darkness and also? you're grounded >:(

-Reader becoming a mugging/gun violence victim and now you're never allowed to leave the manor, period. I can only imagine like the projection of trauma from Bruce if, after losing his parents, he has to watch you weak and recovering from a gunshot, wheezing in bed struggling to breathe properly because a bullet went through one of your lungs. You're put in a total bubble to recover in absolute peace and sterility, but, even far after you've recovered, your "guardian" is still convinced someone will leap out of the bushes to hurt you, so, no leaving the manor unless he's with you. Like. Imagine him being so scared he doesn't even want to trust your safety with the other Batfamily members, and maybe he even cracks down on several of the other younger members because he doesn't want them to get shot too (also like, resulting trauma and overprotectiveness if one or multiple of them saw you get shot and are like, still fucked up over having to apply pressure to your bullet wound as your warm blood leaks all over their fingers and they can't do anything to stop you and-- like do you see how that would send some of them into borderline psychosis when theyve already got So Many Many Issues)

-all of them try to exert control over what you're exposed to and consume in terms of entertainment. You have spyware on your phone and any member of the Batfam who can use the Batcomputer can see your past and current browsing history and I will die on this hill. Bruce and Alfred are rigorous in making sure you don't ruin your mental health. Like you know how I talked about "what if you had a yandere that was in tech and he gave you a phone that he occasionally spies on and remotely disables if he thinks you're spending too much time on it/seeing something you shouldnt"? Bruh that's like half of the Manor, Bruce especially. He has to "make sure nothing bad happens to you". All it can take is 'one bad day', after all...

-obsessed with the idea of them getting jealous of you spending time with other alternate universe versions of themselves, in concepts where Reader is a JL member/vigilante and has the power/tech to multiverse travel anyways. Batman hasn't seen you in a couple weeks and, actually maybe he's a little concerned about you, you've kind of just vanished off the face of the earth, and he bumps into you on a Gotham rooftop with. Another Batman, and getting along much better and being more casual and friendly with the stranger than with him. Broody fucking "I am darkness, I am the night, I am vengeance" Bruce catching you like. smoking weed on his couch with the hilariously weird version of him from the Harley Quinn cartoon universe and God forbid if anyone shows signs of having feelings for you

(also could you imagine how ballistic he and or Jason would go if they caught you hanging out with, you know, one of the super violent "murder is ok" Jasons/Batmans and you tell them straight up "actually I agree with what he's doing, I want to help him, in fact maybe I'll work with HIM now instead of you" like, y'all, I think Batman would permanently never let you work as a hero or sidekick ever again because he's genuinely worried you'll fall down the slippery slope and make a mistake that ruins your life. Like depending on the depiction of Batman you're looking at, some of them admit straight up that they don't kill Joker because they know they're legitimately filled with so much anger and hatred that if they kill even one person, that'll break the barrier to killing tons of criminals outright and they won't be able to stop)

-all I'm saying is that if they ever caught you like being cordial or mildly friendly with an alternate universe version of a villain, no matter how good they are, they shut that shit down immediately. "Y/N who is that" "oh this is my bud The Jester from the universe where the Joker is actually really good and a superhero and--" *jester proceeds to be grappled back through a multiverse portal* "wait no don't freak out this poison ivy is actually really chill and she's married to Harley and she sells me really good weed and she only does a liiiiiitle bit of ecoterrorism and--" immediately thrown in Arkham

-I just genuinely think it's funny that they're probably either smoking weed with you bc trauma and stress or are vehemently anti drug. Can you imagine just in general like, regressed reader, batfam member, either way, just being an actual adult just minding your business and smoking weed and Bruce reacting like he just caught you with a loaded gun in your pocket "y/n is that a weed" "yeah its for my chronic pain--" "I'm calling commissioner gordon" like, Bruce practically acting like you need to go to rehab

-I kinda love the drama of Bruce or Dick or Barbara or just any of the Batfam members accidentally basically ruining your social life and social reputation. You were at a house party one night and eventually pics start getting texted around of Nightwing confronting you in the yard and pulling you away and now there are rumors you're a criminal on parole. You get invited to smoke weed at a friend's and suddenly Batman is in the house and suddenly everyone's parents are there to pick up their kids as he lectures about the dangers of drugs and now absolutely NO ONE from school wants anything to do with you "because what if Batman shows up and gets us in trouble"

-I feel like, as one of those vaguely morally gray areas, that Bruce would make you take medication and get treatment for, like, really anything that needs it, but more specifically anxiety and depression and just overall psychological issues. And as a dark twist what if you aren't really naturally anxious and don't even have an anxiety disorder or anything but he puts you on pills to mellow you out because you're freaking out at him for completely valid and understandable reasons like, you know, being confined in his home against your will. "What, you aren't mad about being kidnapped and controlled and lied to, you clearly just have pre existing emotional issues that keep you from reacting properly, but don't worry I'm here to help" 🙄🙄🙄

[bellevillenaty]

An explanation to the main loop in ORV

- Beware of spoilers of the novel's epilogue -

I come to explain in the simplest possible way the loop that happens in ORV for those who want a more concise and less "philosophical" answer of the whole thing. But I must say that ORV, in general, is drawn to the philosophical side of human existence and that mainly revolves around its protagonists, because this is the story of Kim Dokja and a few other people, so don't expect a precise reason why things are the way they are.

With that out of the way, I'll explain mainly the three "main existences" in ORV which are: Secretive Plotter, tls123 and the Most Oldest Dream (not in this particular order) and how they are connected

[[….Oh, you sad, pitiful child.]]

[[Oh, hear ye, my dear god. I have endured a truly lengthy period of time just to meet you, but….]]

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]]

...

[[….Is that why you needed us? This is a very cruel request for help, indeed.]]

...

[[You couldn’t even control your own imagination, is that it?]]

Chapter 515.

Some might consider that the Universe, or at least the entire tragedy of TWS, begins with the existence of the Most Oldest Dream because of this single sentence uttered by the 999th Uriel.

A child who had suffered years of abuse, neglect, and terrible trauma made a fictional story come true. That child dreamed to escape his own reality and forced himself into fiction to do so. By repeatedly saying "I am Yoo Jonghyuk," Kim Dokja gradually brought that man's story to life. But how did this child gain such power? How could this little child be the "Creator"?

...However, This story already existed and Kim Dokja just read it somewhere. So, if not the dreamer, who is the true creator of this universe?

At this point, many people who read ORV, just like the 999th gang and Secretive Plotter, are confused by the loop created by Han Sooyoung from 1863th turn, also known as the tls123.

The perpetuation of cause and effect "begins" in the 1863th turn, but also doesn't.

“Is this the price of the Outer World Covenant that you received? In exchange for killing Yoo Jonghyuk, you will get the power to make your own world?”

Kim Dokja to the 1863th Han Sooyoung - Chapter 295.

To recap, Han Sooyoung makes an Outer World Covenant with Secretive Plotter on the third turn and, like Kim Dokja, is taken to the 1863rd to kill Yoo Joonghyuk. However, unlike Kim Dokja, only one of Han Sooyoung's avatars is sent there, with the other one continuing to exist on the third turn.

Han Sooyoung's idea of "killing" Yoo Joonghyuk of that turn was to put him in deep slumber for eternity and thus create a new story out of the original story (out of Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World) without him.

This implies that not only will she be able to push the boundaries of the original story that the protagonist himself failed to pass and go beyond the Final Wall, but she will also gain the power to create a brand new world. Perhaps when making the Outer World Covenant, Secretive Plotter had no idea of the details as contracts made within that Universe can have multiple interpretations and can be easily manipulated, even unintentionally.

Her ability also includes writing the Three Ways to Survive that Kim Dokja read and, with that, the combination of her power and Kim Dokja's dream allowed them to turn fiction into reality.

But, again, how did tls123 experience a story that was supossibly created just after her own existence? Yoo Joonghyuk's life already existed for Han Sooyoung to write about it, so she cannot be the creator.

Plus, if it weren't for her meeting Kim Dokja in the 1863th turn and the desire to see him survive, Han Sooyoung wouldn't have written TWS in the first place and would simply have continued her story beyond the 1863th turn.

“Something felt off to me about this world.”

It was my first time hearing such a shrewd tone of voice coming from him.

“One day, I suddenly came into existence in this world.”

0th Yoo Joonghyuk to Demon King of Salvation - Chapter 525

A conveniently-crafted life, a series of adversities created solely to become a tragedy later. This quote about Yoo Joonghyuk could explain his whole character, at least in the reader's mind.

After all, what is the reason for the existence of this character. Who is Yoo Joonghyuk? This question was on Yoo Joonghyuk's mind from the 0th turn all the way to the Secretive Plotter.

His life happened out of nowhere, and also, out of nowhere, thrown into the tragedies of a novel. On his first time in the scenarios, an unknown being helped him immensely using it’s strange knowledge about everything.

And after that, Yoo Joonghyuk felt that his life had been completely taken care of by someone else. As a final request, he wished to learn the truth about this world and himself.

But he was also curious about the existence of the being who had assisted him, and as a result, Yoo Joonghyuk regressed.

My interpretation

⸢The night sky was reflected in Yu Jung-Hyeok’s eyes.⸥

As if he was a child wondering about his origins, Yu Jung-Hyeok estimated where in the sky the [Wall] might be and extended his hand towards it.

He’d become the ‘Secretive Plotter’ someday, and…

….And at the same time, also become the 1864th turn’s Yu Jung-Hyeok that I knew.

Chapter 525.

For me there is a loop within a loop. Yes, Yoo Hoonghyuk would become Secretive Plotter and he would also become 1864th turn's Yu Jung-Hyeok, but not the ones we know.

Because, at the end of the day, they're both people from different universes. The Secretive Plotter is no longer a character within a novel for thousands of years, the fact that he has the power to travel to other turns and, above all, change many things from these turns (Outer World Covenant with 999th Yoo joonghyuk, and other Outer World Covenant with Han Soyooung and Kim Dokja) already shows that Yoo joonghyuk's will is what changes everything.

Yoo joonghyuk is the most powerful being.

He makes the decision to become a Regressor. Because he is a person who came from nothing and became everything.

He becomes a protagonist in an author's story, and he becomes a protagonist in a reader's story. Is there anyone more powerful than a protagonist?

Is there anyone more powerful than a protagonist who regress?

Yoo Joonghyuk is a real person, who became a legend, and finally became a protagonist. The loop occurred first with Yoo Joonghyuk himself and then spreading to those around him.

There is a dialogue between the Secretive Plotter and Yoo Joonghyuk from 14864th in which the Secretive Plotter says the following thing:

[…]

[[Did you know? There was this young boy in the front-most subway car that always died during every regression turn.]]

That question came out of nowhere. Yu Jung-Hyeok naturally recalled the events of the subway train. The very first scenario, the very first encounter with Hell that he had to experience every single time.

However, Yu Jung-Hyeok didn’t know anything about such a boy. Because, there were simply too many people who died in that manner back then.

[[While regressing several times, I tried to prevent his death, but it was impossible.]]

“…..”

[[He was really a young boy. Younger even than Yi Gil-Yeong. However, even such a child had to ‘prove his credentials’. For all of the 1863 lives, that child couldn’t even put up a proper fight and had to die. He died, and died, and died over and over again.]]

Chapter 458.

There's a theory that this boy was the Most Oldest Dream, however why would the supposed "God" of this world be dead in every regression that the Secretive Plotter faces on, and more importantly, why didn't our own Yoo Joonghyuk know about him?

There is a chance that such a boy will only appear because that is how the 1863th Yoo Joonghyuk wants it. Because the Secretive Plotter wanted it.

Secretive Plotter's greatest desire was to find the ‘creator’ of his tragic life and kill him.

It is strange, yes. But it is worth mentioning that our own Yoo Joonghyuk is someone who is in a new story created by himself and therefore he does not know this boy.

Remember? Our Yoo Joonghyuk is someone who has fled the novel story and is no longer a protagonist. The 1864’s turn Yoo Joonghyuk is no longer a character.

He escaped the barriers of TWS wanting to live that life shown by Kim Dokja. Living that turn that seemed perfect and so he did. From his own free will, he regresses and is now living that life.

As Yoo Joonghyuk had wished, he unwittingly erased his memory of all of his past lives and started a brand new story. And we all know that the Regressor Yoo Joonghyuk's life begins with the third round, but now, with Kim Dokja by his side, just as he wanted.

Unlike the Secretive Plotter that always wanted to find and kill The Most Oldest Dream, our Yoo Joonghyuk's wish was to find someone in particularly and fight alongside him. (Thus, the 0th turn Yoo Joonghyuk who Dokja thinks is the one he knew and our own Yoo Joonghyuk from 1864th turn. Both choose to regress for this reason).

The timeline will only move according to Yoo Joonghyuk's will (mostly), which is why the loop thing is so confusing when it comes to the other two.

Without Yoo Joonghyuk, neither Kim Dokja nor the Three Ways to Survive story would be possible.

As one of Kim Dokja's very first statments about Yoo Joonghyuk is:

"The first way to survive this ruined world is this man."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I lost my hand here and I still have A LOT to say about, and I haven't even mentioned the Dokkaebi King or the Winny King yet and what they meant to this whole thing.

Did you guys have any opinions on this take? That’s my interpretation and maybe in the future I update this on a re-read or when I come with new ideias.

Because in the ORV story itself it is said that if you read it again, a new perspective is created.

(I also post this on Reddit)

[teddy-bear-queen]

Whats your thoughts on mk monkie form and the specials? To me I'm not worried about mk monkie form like he'll be fine but it's going to be rough not only bc mk monkie form

Is connected to his trauma and a flight or fight response, it connects to his emotions

I think mk needs to heal with his monkie form But it wouldn't be easy bc of it still glitches and struggling buy all in all I'm not worried

I was actually just talking about MKs monkey form with a few people recently!

I definitely think it’s connected to his emotions, like you said. I thought of it as being connected to his negative, “loud” emotions. (Such as fear, stress, and anger). I’ve seen a few people saying it’s his “evil” form, which I think is just… kind of yucky. Idk, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I think it (unintentionally) paints a bad image of mental health. Of course, not their intention! I understand where it comes from, as it seems that the Monkey is kind of like… An unfiltered version of himself. So much trauma and negativity he’s trapped inside from what could be years (not sure of the LMK timeline) of trauma. It’s like a really bad mental breakdown, and he can’t control himself during them. But that doesn’t make him evil. Just irks me to hear people say that.

The glitching is REALLY COOL visually and concept-wise, it’s like a visualisation of him trying to hide his problems from others. Trying to keep his trauma, his negativity all within himself. Trying to keep it out of sight. The curse is telling him to embrace it, and furthering his idea that all of these feelings inside of him are bad, chaotic, destructive.

I’m really excited to see Sun Wukong try and train Monkie Kid in the upcoming season(s). I hope they end up having a heart-to-heart once they realise it’s about his bottled up emotions (IF that’s what it is, we don’t really know). I would love to see a scene of Wukong having to hold MK back in this monkey form, maybe he goes too far while in this state, and Wukong has to stop him from doing something he regrets.

GOD can you imagine it? MK losing it, possibly crying, and as he’s about to go too far, Wukong pulls him back, restraining him. He’s like..

“MK!” And he’s like grunting while MK struggles against him, “Snap out of it, bud!”

AAAAAA

These next few seasons are going to be SO GOOD!

I want to clarify:

If you do, or have, called MK’s monkey form “evil”, I don’t think you’re like. This awful person. I understand where the idea comes from, but I just. Really don’t support it. It seems kind of ableist to me (is ableist the term? I’m not sure.)

[justoneofthoseghosts]

“You flinched.” + Brettsey

This one is AU featuring firefighter Brett and doctor Casey!

Sylvie winces as she massages her shoulder. Based on her basic EMT training, she didn't think it was dislocated. She could still move it anyway without much discomfort or pain.

She sighs, leaning back against the cold, metal chair in the Med waiting room. All of 51 was there waiting for news on Otis. Poor guy had been shot in that call where Sylvie had ducked haphazardly to avoid the bullets flying around, landing on her left shoulder.

"You flinched."

She glances at Stella next to her, raising an eyebrow at her fellow firefighter.

"You flinched - just now. You should really get that shoulder checked out," she advises.

"Later - I want to know how Otis is doing first," Sylvie mumbles.

It had been an hour since he went in for surgery. She tries not to relive the whole thing. She knew growing up in Chicago was dangerous but she never expected something like that ever to happen during a call. She sends a prayer upward, hoping her friend would be okay. She and Otis had known each other since their days in the Academy. By some sheer luck, she got transferred onto truck 81 two years ago, almost the same time as Stella, and the three of them together with Joe had been thick as thieves ever since. She couldn't imagine a life without Otis.

The sliding doors open up, drawing everyone's attention. They glance as Connor Rhodes walks into view. They all stand up, walking towards the trauma surgeon.

"Otis is going to be fine," he announces, "it's going to be a long road to recovery but with rigorous physical therapy, he should be able to get back to work in a few months."

Sylvie breathes a sigh of relief as everyone around he rejoice at the good news. They were going to have to deal with a floater for a few months but Otis would be back in no time.

Stella pokes her in the shoulder.

"Ouch," she lets out unintentionally, shooting daggers at Stella.

"Time to see a doctor, Brett," Stella reminds her, "luckily we are in a hospital."

"I'll be fine," she tells Stella, brushing it off. She thinks it might just be a bruise forming. She'll ask one of the paramedics to check on it when they get back to the firehouse. Foster did still owe her for introducing her Lana, the lady that ran the mobile rig command center.

"Nope - you are coming with me."

Stella grabs her by her suspenders, walking purposefully towards the ED entrance.

"Hey!"

Stella doesn't relent. She asks Maggie, the charge nurse, if any doctors were available to check on Sylvie quickly. She explains the situation and the nurse nods, calling over a doctor Sylvie didn't recognize. He was tall, had broad shoulders, sandy blonde hair and warm, blue eyes.

Honestly, he was very handsome.

Objectively speaking of course.

"Dr. Casey, Brett here needs her shoulder checked," Maggie informs him, handing him an iPad.

He smiles at her, "sure - bay 3 free?"

"All yours."

As Stella bids Sylvie a quick goodbye, she nudges the blonde firefighter, "bet you're thanking me now, huh?"

She blushes, pushing Stella away, rolling her eyes when the other firefighter snickers in response.

Her cheeks redden even more when she realizes Dr. Casey observe the whole interaction.

"Sorry," she says, twisting her watch band absentmindedly.

He shakes his head, "nothing to be sorry about."

He leads her to a bay, asking her to take a seat on the bed as he closes the curtains.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He asks, glancing down at his iPad, pushing a few buttons before looking up once more, sending her a soft, encouraging smile.

She doesn't know what makes her spill her guts to the doctor. Somehow, he males her feel at ease immediately, a certain calmness washing over her at being in his presence. Maybe it was how he was looking at her, like he genuinely cared about what she was going to say.

Yeah, maybe it was the solemn yet attentive expression on his face.

Did she mention he was handsome? That look made him 10 times even more handsome.

Gosh. She really didn't need to thirst over the new doctor. He was just doing his job.

She recounts the whole ordeal, realizing it as the first time she was speaking it out loud since this morning. She tells him about how it was just a routine call - they were firefighters and were used to putting out fires only this time, there was a room that had guns in it that apparently were semi automatic and rigged to fire at random. She and Otis were in the room searching for victims. She managed to call a warning and duck behind the bed, causing the trouble with her shoulder, but Otis wasn't so lucky.

Unintentionally, she lets it slip how terrified she was for Otis, of potentially losing another person she loved in the line of duty, how she tried to remember what was taught at the Fire Academy about applying pressure to wounds while waiting for what felt like forever for the paramedics to show up, how she was glad that Otis would be alright.

"I'm really sorry," she tells him sheepishly, "you don't need to hear all this."

He shakes his head once more, eyes full of understanding, "don't apologize. You do need to talk about things like that. It can be heavy dealing with it alone. I get it."

She smiles softly at him. It was like she was talking to someone she had known for years. He was right too. Firefighters were often tough but Sylvie knew mental health and emotional well being should be their priorities too, especially with how hard their line of work could be - not all calls resulted in rescues. There were grim days when they became recoveries.

"Thank you, Dr. Casey," she says earnestly.

"Nah - no need to thank me."

He asks if it was okay for her to pull up her top so he could check on her shoulder more closely. She nods, thinking nothing of it until it dawns on her. She tries not to blush again because today she chose to wear the one lacy bra she had in her underwear drawer.

Hey, it was the only one left because laundry day isn't scheduled until tomorrow.

She pulls up her grey shirt carefully as the doctor slips on a pair of surgical gloves. She tries hard not to look at him. She's sure he's seen a lot of women in their undergarments.

Darn it. She didn't mean that.

She meant at the hospital, of course, while examining them - for medical purposes only.

He begins to slowly knead the portion of Sylvie's shoulder that she pointed was the place she thinks she landed on. He does it carefully, clinically like any good doctor would. Curiosity getting the better of her, she chances a glance at him, noticing how his own cheeks seem to have reddened. When their eyes meet, he averts his gaze, clearing his throat.

"Doesn't feel dislocated," he tells her lowly, "but there may be some bruising or swelling so I suggest icing it whenever you can so it'll heal faster."

"Got it," she says as she lowers her top, smoothing it out, "thanks doc."

He smiles at her, "in case you feel any pain after a week, feel free to swing by. I can check on you shoulder or write your script for some pain meds."

She nods, swinging her legs back and forth, "thank you again - not just for checking me out but for listening too."

Few people were good listeners in her option and Dr. Casey was definitely a good one, especially since she unloaded so much about the day to him.

"No worries," he states, one hand going to the back of his neck, awkwardly massaging it, like he was debating something internally.

She wonders briefly if the tiny hint of a connection she felt wasn't all in her head.

When doesn't speak, she swallows down a bit of her own disappointment.

"Right."

They stare at each other for a few seconds. She's unsure of what to do and he doesn't seem to know too.

She clears her throat, jumping off the bed, pointing towards the door, "I, uh, I should get back to everyone. Thank you again, Dr. Casey."

"Call me Matt," he blurts out before his eyes go wide, like he couldn't believe he just sad that.

She lets out a laugh, "call me Sylvie then."

He grins.

"I'll see you around, Matt," she states before turning around to leave.

She pulls back the curtain, taking a step out of the room when she hears him call out to her.

She turns back around, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Here's my card," he says, handing her a calling card, "feel free to call me if you want to schedule an appointment."

She takes the card from him, glancing at it before tucking it into her turnout pants pocket. She nods at him.

He seems to be debating something internally again.

"Or feel free to call if you need anyone to talk to - anytime."

She furrows her eyebrows at him, not quite sure what to make of it. Was he offering to be her therapist or something? It was sweet of him to offer but she already had a therapist she loved.

"Thanks," she says, "I'll keep that in mind."

He frowns, signaling for her to not walk away just yet.

"Jesus, this is coming out all wrong," he grumbles.

"What is?"

"I, uh, I was hoping to ask you out for a drink," he states before smiling shyly at her.

Her heart leaps to her throat at his words. Guess he felt it too.

She smiles, "there's a bar called Molly's. It's owned by a few firefighters from 51. I'm usually there off shift. I'll text you the address."

She sees his shoulder visibly relax, "great. I'll see you there."

He claps his hands awkwardly but it makes Sylvie laugh. She thinks about how adorable and completely dorky he was being, endearing himself further to Sylvie.

"I'll see you there," she confirms.

As she's walking back towards the rest of her house, she thinks that maybe she'll buy Stella a drink for pushing her to get checked out. Something tells her getting a date out of it with someone who seemed sweet and genuine was just the tip of the iceberg.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Time to do my go-to rare pair for the ship game: Koushiro/Iori post-Kizuna and Beginning

It really is a shame that, at some point in the middle of 02, they just stopped putting emphasis on the relationship between these two, despite the fact that they were STILL continuously mirroring them to some degree. While Koushirou is the brain everybody naturally turns to for help, Iori, despite being very analytical of situations and surroundings, tends to get himself overlooked more easily. And, even as they grow up, this may be something he would need some help and guidance for...

... Especially if you consider their set-ups as "work-a-holics in shirt and tie". The big difference here is: Koushirou is the CEO of his own company, he has LEARNED to stand up for and assert himself through the course of early Adventure already and it's no surprise that this is the reason why he is considered an "expert on all things Digimon" as a public speaker. Iori on the other hand... Is still the youngest Chosen Child in the group and is obviously being exploited as intern at the company he is working at during his law studies. He IS computer-savvy, maybe not to the same degree as his senpai, but definitely just as prone to stressing himself and taking on more work than he can chew. It almost seems like there'd be a lack in balance - and, as mentioned, maybe a lack in guidance too. And remembering their early set-ups, Koushirou may not always be the most tactful person in EVERY situation, but when it comes to very certain people, he IS observant - and very capable of calling them out for their issues especially those he usually also has himself.

Koushirou is among those who never treated Iori as a nuisance and Iori never felt belittled by him - so the confidence boost he'd get from getting praised by Koushirou is something he definitely needs. For his hard work, ambition, wit... He needs to know that he is being taken seriously and considered an intellectual and compassionate equal - which is something Koushirou would definitely provide, even unintentionally, simply by treating him like he always treated him: Respectfully and with kindness (and also in a somewhat protective manner). Iori on the other hand does look up to Koushirou whether he might surpass him in height is still up to debate though and, upon spending time with him, would get more and more comfortable being honest and calling HIM out as well. It's like an automatic mutual trauma response that goes like "I am tired as heck, but I need to finish this task at all costs, but HOLD THE PHONE, YOU WILL GET YOUR BREAK, MISTER". And it might actually work, because they care about each other a lot.

I could imagine them doing research together, with Koushirou teaching Iori how to use his gadgets and sources to his advantage for the sake of his future career - and with the help of the likes of Takeru, they might actually leave their office spaces and spend time outside, doing cultural activities and historical sightseeing. I really think that is something they'd both enjoy and that'd do them good while improving their relationships even further. Frowning over the others constantly jumping into danger and dragging them with them - but they're the voices of reason, so despite their grouchy faces, they'll happily oblige and share knowing, smiley glances about it.

... On a more romantic route, one might argue that everything I've just mentioned might cause Iori to eventually tell Koushirou that he doesn't "want to be seen/treated as you've always seen/treated me anymore", actively taking a step towards confessing. Because even if they're both rational thinkers, they can be very emotional around the right people - and Iori would be the one to initiate, maybe after harboring a crush for quite some time (which I know is a headcanon we can both imagine going down like that!). Koushirou might not be able to respond to something like that immediately, he would take his time for contemplation - and I wouldn't consider it impossible for them to act on it together.

[devilsrecreation]

Some more angsty TLG stuff cuz we all need some angst in our lives

- Tamka having a breakdown over his lack of intelligence in his episode. After he finds out he was being used by the mob and he pushed his friends away, he thinks he’s all alone and starts to cry

- Jasiri remembering her past and how she seems to be forgetting her mother…. oof

- Chungu realizing he’s never going to find his parents (it’s brief, but still upsetting)

- I’m imagining at some point when the OG trio come back, they start inviting themselves into Janja’s life more and more. Shenzi especially does this since she didn’t get to be much of a parent when she was forced to leave the Outlands as to not get suspected for killing Scar by Zira. It’s honestly fine for the Janja at first, then it starts getting annoying when Shenzi (unintentionally) becomes degrading by providing unnecessary protection. It gets to the point where Janja snaps at his mother about how he isn’t a cub anymore and she can’t treat him as such after leaving for so long

- So my Sibling’s Day idea, right? Where Jasiri invites everyone’s siblings over for a celebration and to let them know they’re appreciated? Cute wholesome family moments, right? Well, not for a certain lizard cuz Njano slowly gets more upset the longer he looks at everyone having a good time with their respective siblings, reminding him of Danganya. He legit goes from “Aw that’s nice” to “heh…they look pretty wholesome” to “maybe a little too wholesome” to “just like….him”. He acts all fine when Shupavu asks him if he’s okay but inside he misses his late brother :(

This episode idea is one of the rare times he actually frowns. Njano’s a generally happy skink, but when he gets upset, Danganya has something to do with it

- Reirei: What are you scared of?!

Goigoi: I’m scared of you

Reirei: Me??

Goigoi: I'm scared that... One day, you'll see yourself as I see you... Perfect.. And... That you'll leave me for someone you deserve..

-I think I’ve mentioned this before but Nduli’s trauma caused him to have a fear of abandonment and it shows. Ever since he lost his mother, he’s scared that his float would leave him like the majority of animals he knew. He can’t even handle being alone for a few hours cuz he’ll get paranoid. He’ll try to be optimistic at first, but the more he’s alone, the more worried he gets cuz there’s always a possibility his friends aren’t coming back. So he has to be with at least one of his friends or else he becomes a scared child

There would be an incident in the future when he has kids where the float wakes up at the end of the dry season and one of Nduli’s daughters, Shauri, isn’t there and Nduli straight up has a panic attack (dw she’s fine. She just got woken up in the Dry Season)

-Kiburi frequently still has nightmares about his father’s death. Every time he wakes up, he snuggles just a little bit closer to one of the other float members

-Kenge and Shupavu go through the same thing with Ushari’s death. If only Kenge had been there instead of ditching his only friend…then maybe Ushari would still be alive. Shupavu could have done something instead of staring like a fool, but she didn’t

- Sumu blaming himself for Kenge getting hurt when Mkatili’s chimps attack. Kenge keeps telling him to shut up and that he’ll be fine but Sumu can’t help it

-Selena Gomez’s “people you know” perfectly encapsulates Makuu and Kiburi’s rift

We used to be close, but people can go

From people you know to people you don't

And what hurts the most is people can go

From people you know to people you don't

That’s basically them

-Imagine how Pua must feel knowing that basically all of his friends had passed on. It’s basically that one drawing of all the regular show characters and Skips being the last one left

-Mzingo constantly being reminded of the fact that he nearly killed Janja by trapping him in Pride Rock even though he didn’t know the hyenas were there in the first place

- TW for character death

This isn’t gonna happen anytime soon but…Pua finally completing his journey. It was a peaceful death with all the crocodiles by his side. He has last words for everyone (basically all the crocs we care about). Everyone, even Makuu and Kiburi, cried

Tamka takes it the hardest, he thinks he should have been a better son :(

-Sometime, in the far future, when all the kids are grown up and Wakali’s the new leader of the crocodiles, Nduli’s gonna be the last of his generation to still be alive. He’s still the same Nduli, albeit a bit sadder cuz all of his friends have gone without him. He’s no longer the baby during that time and while he has to be strong for the sake of the float, it’s proven hard for him cuz he can’t help but miss his friends