#imagine she was acting the way she was bc family and elite

[moreespressoformydepresso]

I want one of the mentors to realize their family doesn’t make them happy because of the 10th Hunger Games. Their tribute, a complete and total stranger who has every right to hate them for being complicit in what the Capitol is putting them through, makes them feel better than their own flesh and blood.

So they decide they’re not gonna lose that and overthrow society in the name of perserving the one unquestionably good thing that’s happened in their life. Maybe they take down their family in the process, maybe they overtake their family instead. Either way they get to break open the cage door in the zoo and free the tributes who are Very Confused as to what is happening but not complaining in the slightest. Their tribute now has a rich friend to solve all their problems ❤️

[where-poets-go-to-die]

Polyamorous BokuAkaa Headcanons bc this is self indulgent!! Mostly!!

CW: marriage & children (both hypotheticals and kids are only very briefly touched on)

Bokuto and Akaashi invited you into their relationship

First Bokuto off-handly told Akaashi that he thought you were cool and attractive

It took Akaashi about a month before he was like: "Okay. I agree. But why did you bring that up?"

"What if we tried a polyamorous relationship with them! :D"

"Well, we'd have to discuss it with them and ease them into it. And that's only if they want to do it."

So imagine your surprise when Bokuto loudly declares that he and Akaashi want to pursue a relationship with you

Like,, homie has no chill and sees no point in beating around the bush

Now let's get into romantical highschool hcs:

If you're a manager, please give them lil good luck hugs and/or kisses before practice matches or games if you aren't on the court

If you aren't, Bokuto is going to try to get you to come to any game they play and Akaashi, despite being a little stoic, will probably blush a lil bit and agree with Bokuto

Study!Dates!

Jus trying to help Bokuto with his calculus homework and anything else

Bokuto def gets really slouchy and whiney during really long study sessions so he's usually leaning on either you or Akaashi as he asks if you can take a break soon

Eventually you both cave and end up sitting on someone's bed, talking about upcoming events and watching videos

THEY ARE YOUR NUMBER ONE SUPPORTERS

You do theatre? They're always at opening night. Doesn't matter if you're acting, a stage hand, or a stage manager.

You do speech and debate? Akaashi will help you prep while Bokuto, despite being a tiny bit confused, will cheer you on.

You also play volleyball? Trust me, no matter your position, they're always constantly helping you improve and are at every game they can attend.

You do a different sport like softball, baseball, swimming, etc.? They're at any match they can go too. Literally Akaashi has to ask Bokuto to quiet down bc he's cheering really loud and getting stares from those passive aggressive family members.

Even if you don't do an extra curricular activity, but just have something you're really passionate about, they love to hear about you ramble on about it and love it when you show them what you've made.

Speaking of love... the first "I love you"

Surprise! Akaashi actually said it first

You were spending the night over at Bokuto's house and he was fast asleep, but you and Akaashi were quietly talking about whatever came to mind

Then he just takes your hand in his and says:

"You know, I'm really happy that you decided to be our partner. I love you, y/n."

You just smiled and said: "I'm glad I did too. And I also love you."

Then with Bokuto... it was a little different

You and him were having a one on one date, riding around on his bike through the park

He just smiled at you and shouted:

"I LOVE YOU A LOT!!"

So, to match his vibe, you yelled it right back to him

Despite being only meer centimeters apart

Post!Timeskip Time :)

Being sandwiched between them during the night is elite- top tier!

But you also switch it up

Sometimes Bokuto is in the middle and that usually happens when he comes home from away games

Sometimes Akaashi is in the middle and that usually happens when he had a stressful day at work

So,, the hypothetical marriage situation:

If you don't wanna get married, they're totally fine with it. Marriage is overrated anyhow 🤷🏻‍♀️

BUT

If you do wanna get married,, they're 100% for it!! Then it kinda falls under three hypothetical scenarios:

1: You just get your marriage license and have a small party. No ceremony. But just some nice extra time with your boys.

2: Small wedding. Just family and really close friends as you get married in your backyard.

3: A big ceremony! Yeah, we're talking about a big wedding. (It's three people getting married to each other,, it's gonna be a large turn out.)

Then the whole last name debacle. This goes on for a few days, let's be honest here.

If you wanna keep your last name, they're coming up with different ideas like: taking your last name, hyphenating it with either Bokuto or Akaashi, etc. etc.

If you don't want to keep your last name, then there's: taking either last name, hyphenating their's, etc.

There's also the discussion of everyone keeping their own last name,, can't forget that.

It's a confusing process.

Then there's also the talk of children

If you don't want kids, fine! Kids aren't a necessity to relationships ((deadass,, why do people think that everyone needs kids???))

And if you do, then whoop!! Kids

I don't wanna dive into kids,, but like you can imagine whatever y'all do

A n y h o w

I feel like Bokuto and Akaashi would adopt dogs and cats from shelters

Bokuto would definitely own a mug that says something about loving his pets

Two cats and a dog

That's your animal family

Im done with the animal thing, hang on

Cats wise: One is a grey and white tabby and maine coon mix, you and Akaashi like to call her Koutaro Jr. and the other is a Calico who Bokuto affectionately calls Baby

Dog wise: a pit bull who is nothing more than an oversized lap dog. His name? Spike.

One time, Bokuto invited over Atsumu, Hinata, and Sakusa over for a group dinner for fun, ya know?

They show up right? Y'all are chillin; Baby is perched behind Hinata and Koutaro Jr. is vibin' in Bokuto's lap (Atsumu is cackling at how you named her, and how "yes, Bo! She does look like a bit like you!")

Then in trots Spike

He trots over and nuzzles his way between Sakusa's legs and rests his head on his thigh

"This is Spike, right?" -Sakusa

"Mmhm.. are you-" -Akaashi

"Such a sweet little thing." -Sakusa

He *almost* doesn't mind the pet hair clinging to his pants

Anyway

It's a mostly happy and healthy relationship (bc lets be honest, fights can and have happened, but you got through it)

Tagging: @yamaguchi-stan

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[katewaliss]

! write with me or fight with me!

you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate

just kidding!

 hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys? 

so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying! 

lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.

thank u and happy hunger games! xx

COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open! 

my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano

i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )

we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,

and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell, 

i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever

- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot

- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that ) 

-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST

also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out

SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST

other stuff

ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi

speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN

jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo 

UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down

i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad 

pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!

GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES

any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn 

i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!

anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad 

i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters

iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc

i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo

i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama

rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love 

i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy 

speaking of!

no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!

i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do 

not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys 

rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?

idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent 

[okaybutlikeimagine]

really weird hc but i think steve never cries, like it’s not that he doesn’t want to he just can’t??? he’s filled with emotions and he knows he technically should be crying but he just can’t. But billy on the other hand, if you asked him he’d deny it but he cries all. the. time. when he’s angry. when he’s sad. when he’s stressed. when he’s happy and laughing. he just can’t control it.

This is such an interesting headcanon and I DEFINITELY agree!!!! I think it makes perfect sense!!

Bc the way I think about it, Steve’s life has been a lot more performative than Billy’s has, if that makes any sense? Like, I think of Steve’s parents and I think of the kind of terrible people who had a kid just to 1. Pass down the name and 2. Say they have the “perfect family”. Like, they toted Steve out for parties just like Daisy does in Great Gatsby and then they’d hand him off to the sitter or the nanny or the maid or whatever. They didn’t actually want to raise a kid and understand that kid as a person, they wanted a trophy to say: “See this? This proves our relationship is strong and our marriage was worth it.”

And then, in the background, before Steve would be dragged off to whatever private function he was being forced and dressed to attend, his mom would grab him harshly and tightly around his little shoulders and kneel down to look him right in the eye and say: “You behave yourself, understand? There are going to be very important clients there and if you bother us while we’re working, you’re going to be grounded for a whole week. No, two. No toys, TV, nothing. You hear me?” And just imagine a little Steve, about age 5, blinking owlishly at his mom and nodding his head bc of course he can hear her, she’s right in his face, but the only thing he knows about “clients” is that they make his parents yell at each other and that they’re the reason his parents never read him bedtime stories or tuck him in at night

 And I really don’t know a whole lot about like… the lives of the rich and famous, but I just can’t help but imagine Steve’s parents going to parties with the other “elite” in the area. And I use the term “elite” loosely bc i mean… let’s face it…. They still live in Hawkins. They’re definitely rich but it’s not like they’re rubbing elbows with high society over here. They’re the kind of rich, snobby, stuck up people who think they’re better than the people they share a community with. It’s the reason they’re not home very often: they hate being reminded about the fact that they haven’t moved out of Hawkins.

So they go to lots of rich, stuck up parties. And they hold Steve up like a trophy to their friends about how they have a kid already and “where’s yours, Patricia? Oh, don’t have one yet? Are things alright with you and Greg? Oh, just wondering, because if you don’t have a kid yet, well…. Maybe something’s wrong at home…”

and so Steve, with fresh threats swimming in his mind, stands there and smiles and takes all the cheek pinches and head pats even though he’s only a child and is about to fall asleep on his feet because they’ve been walking around meeting people for hours and the other kids won’t play with him because they think he’s “boring” or “stupid” or “poor” (which doesn’t make sense to him bc he’s the richest kid in his preschool as far as he’s aware. He figures the preschools must be different here.) so he puts on a mask even for the other kids. He pretends he doesn’t like playing in the mud or collecting bugs or making jokes about boogers. He puts aside acting like a kid to act like these kids just so he can play with them. Sometimes it works.

And so I think he learned not to cry at a very young age. Honestly, i dunno if you’ve heard about it, but I’m channeling The Who’s Tommy over here. Like, the whole “kid is threatened not to speak about this thing, that he didn’t see this thing, and that he didn’t hear this thing and thus goes deaf, blind, and mute”. And obviously a little less dramatic than that, but Steve’s always been told not to cry. When he would cry he’d get punished. It’s like a weird Pavlovian effect. Ever since he was a kid he was asked to put on a show for everyone, told not to pout or whine or cry, and now he just…. Can’t. He almost fears it. He hears his parents threats, even now at the age of 18, and smiles and laughs rather than cries. And sometimes he cries… that night that Nancy called him bullshit and told him she didn’t love him he went home and ripped a blanket she had (apparently lovelessly) gifted him and broke his lamp and accidentally sliced his foot on the glass of the lightbulb…. and cried and… and it felt like failure. It was only a couple of tears, hot and angry and rolling slowly down his face and he let his throat catch fire as he held everything else back. He was angry with himself at that point, more than anything. He looked himself in the mirror and heard his father’s words of “A Harrington never cries. Are you a true Harrington?” and sucked it all back in and did whatever he could to take his mind off of it, even though everything he did always ended with him fuming about the words over and over again and caused him to end up punching pillows and angrily drinking all the beer out of the fridge.

But Billy’s different.

Billy is a volcano. A volcano of every single emotion you can think of. He experiences them all violently and viciously and they take over his system until his body physically can’t hold back from crying. We SEE him cry multiple times in the show!!! And i like to think it’s bc rather than be toted around, he’s been locked in. where Steve’s parents drag Steve around to different social functions, Neil locks Billy up so he- and no one else -has to look at him. Steve is forced to be around others and put on a mask and Billy is forced to be alone, with just himself and his thoughts. He doesn’t need to mask himself when he’s alone.

And that’s not to say that Billy doesn’t also put on a show for others- because he most definitely does. I think a lot of what he does is performative bc he feels he needs to and his thought process for it lines up with Steve’s for himself: he’s just not good enough. He wasn’t good enough for his mom to stay, he wasn’t good enough for his dad to love in his mother’s absence, he wasn’t and isn’t good enough for anything. So he puts on a show of this big tough guy and he manipulates people and he calls it entertainment.

And this isn’t to say that he didn’t get yelled at for crying, either! Bc he definitely did. He’s gotten hit a few times for tears in his eyes but it was always followed with being locked in his room and being told that he was “embarrassing to watch”... and in the four walls of his room he cried more. Bc growing up, the one thing he found relief in was being sent to his room or even having his room in the first place: it gave him a space to be alone and let his emotions out. And he never tried to, his body always just did it for him. Bc crying is often a very visceral thing, and also a very natural and very human thing. It releases chemicals in your body to help soothe you and lord KNOWS Billy needs to soothe himself bc once his mom left, no one did it for him. His body realizes the emotions that aren’t being sorted and his mind knows when it’s safe (when he’s alone, when Neil’s turned and walking away, when no one can hear) and it cries. I just imagine Billy on constant vibrate, brimming with emotions and filled to the edge with too many things with everything with all of it and he just cries because there’s so few outlets for him. His body has grown accustomed to taking care of itself in that way. And so when he’s had too much (and the threshold on some days if very small), he rushes to his room and slams the door and as soon as it’s latched he’s near drowning in tears bc he needs release.

And let me tell you- it freaks the fuck out of Steve.

Because like you said, Steve just doesn’t cry. And the first time Billy and Steve have sex, Billy cries as he orgasms and Steve freaks. out. He thinks he did something wrong and he’s fretting over Billy and his heart is racing and he’s fighting with himself about if he should hold Billy’s face or step about 5 feet away from him because holy shit what happened??

And Billy feels like an idiot but there’s no stopping his body because he’s so overwhelmed by feeling so good and it’s been a long time coming for him and Steve and after all of that anger and animosity between each other, it was just too much and he cries. And he punches Steve while he’s crying, trying his best to growl but hiccuping around the words instead as he says: “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m so sorry Billy, holy shit! What do I do?!” 

“Go get me a tissue, you dumbass!”

And he’s sniffling and blows his nose loud and Steve is in awe that Billy is still such a hardass even with tears running down his eyes.

And this happens a LOT. Every time Billy and Steve have sex, Billy tears up after he orgasms. It’s not always full on waterworks like the first time, but his eyes always water as he lays there with Steve, body lit up and hot like a fucking campfire, and he lays there and breathes and a tear rolls down his cheek and Steve has gotten so used to it that he leans over Billy and kisses the tear right at his cheekbone and whispers how beautiful he is. (and that usually makes Billy tear up even more, to which he shoves Steve with whatever strength he has left and tells him to shut his mouth)

The first time they tell each other “I love you” it’s the same thing. Billy whispers “I love you, too” and there go his tears. His chest heaves and he cries into Steve’s collarbone, gripping Steve’s shirt and Steve just kind of chuckles a bit and rubs Billy’s back and maybe cracks a joke about how he’s “such a sap” and Billy tilts his head so he can bite at Steve’s shoulder and make the boy yelp.

And the first time Billy catches Steve about to cry, he sees that the boy is about to run away. Bc he’s taken notice to the fact that Steve doesn’t cry and he hasn’t brought it up more than twice bc Steve is obviously anxious when he talks about it but Billy gets worried for him bc Steve always acts like he’s okay and Billy knows that’s not good. So when he catches Steve’s eyes watering and then Steve turning to lock himself away somewhere, he grabs the boy in the most forceful hug he can manage so that he can’t squirm away and hide himself and he says: “Don’t run away from me. Are you gonna cry?”

“Billy-”

“Then do it. You’re not a robot.”

“Billy stop I-”

“You’re human, you fucking dumbass.”

“Don’t call me-”

“It’s okay.”

And that makes Steve’s chest heave. He sucks so much air in he squeaks and his chest pushes against Billy’s own and Billy grabs tighter and nuzzles his head into Steve’s neck and whispers.

“You’re safe, Pretty Boy.”

And he stands there and he lets Steve cry. Lets himself be whatever physical and mental support Steve needs as he finally, finally let’s his body take over and just cries.

[filmbefore]

STELLA CHOI , a member of the yale's elite , they're twenty three and a first year grad student majoring in business . they are as eccentric as they are fickle . ( park sooyoung ( joy ) / she/they / demigirl )

STATISTICS .

FULL NAME : stella rosemary choi . NICKNAMES : stel , stels . AGE : twenty three . BIRTHDAY : april 23 , 1997 . ASTRO : taurus sun , aquarius moon , pisces rising . SIBLINGS : two older twin sisters . SEXUALITY : bisexual + biromantic . HEIGHT : 5′8″ HAIR COLOR : black . HOMETOWN : london , england .

BLACKMAILS .

stella barely creates any of her own fashion designs. she regularly steals designs from small fashion houses all over the world and pays them a relatively small amount to shut down so that there is no trace of her stealing.

stella frequently buys clothing to display on their youtube channel so that they can write it off of their taxes. but they often write off more than they actually bought, meaning that they owe the government more tax money than they have been letting on.

stella’s parents actually paid yale to accept some falsified academic reports and fake philanthropic acts in order to let stella into the graduate program.

BACKGROUND .

miss stella was pretty much born with a silver spoon in her mouth . her father was one of the top names in the psychiatric research field and her mother had an almost cult following on the korean film scene with her odd stylistic choices while making movies . however , the chois could not turn down a job offer that mr. choi had received to work in london . so , they bought a new home in the city and relocated with their twin daughters . 

once the trio got to london and settled down , they agreed that they had room in their family for one more little one and ended up bringing stella into the world !! 

as a kid ,, stella was about as normal as it comes . they did well in school , but weren’t stop of their class . they practiced playing instruments and making art of all kinds , but didn’t make anything exceptional . the only mf thing stella was good at was sleeping in and accidentally missing her first period class almost every day . miss girl was about lazy as hell . couldn’t get her to do anything .

the choi kids’ parents would literally take their kids traveling the world every summer to try and expose them to as many cultures as they could to try and inspire SOMETHING in them to find something that they love . they would always make sure to stop by south korea and visit their family there , but i’m talking trips to brazil , france , germany , singapore , japan , mexico , you NAME it ! but miss stella was still lazy as an old dog :/ ( just taurus tings ! )

that is ,, until she started her youtube channel when she was about eighteen years old ! she had watched about four videos about fashion week that year and decided that fashion was her life’s PASSION and she had shit to say !! 

and for whatever reason ... people wanted to listen to what they had to say about vivienne westwood’s designs ?????? idk bro but their youtube channel started gaining TRACTION and before she could even blink , stella was sitting front row at calvin klein shows , gucci shows , you know ... the works ! just think very emma chamberlain at these events , okay ? like teenage youtube girly pop sitting three spots away from anna wintour . you know the vibe !! don’t pretend like you don’t !!

and honest to god , stella’s parents were just excited that they were showing an affinity for SOMETHING after all the years of genuine laziness they had displayed lmao

and you can only IMAGINE the thrill their parents got when stella actually started designing her own clothes !!!! ( or so they thought ... ) stella’s designs were so unique and colorful and all OVER the place in the most funky way and before you could blink ... miss girl was opening her own fashion house called angel numbers !! 

angel numbers basically blew up right away and had a ton of support from the lgbt community ,,, like think very lady gaga kind of cult queer following ! especially because stella was out as a non binary individual and bi ,,, she just really appreciated the support from their own peers 

stella even went to school in london for fashion design and had no intention of returning to school once they graduated because of all the success coming from her fashion line ... but their parents literally peer pressured them into going back to school a few years later at a school in america to further widen their cultural perspective !! and the chois were dead set on stella attending yale university for grad school ,, bc it would really prove to the world that their kid wasn’t some bimbo heiress who got everything handed to them 

so now it’s stella’s first year at yale hehe and they’re more than ready to vibe on another level with everyone here

PERSONALITY .

stella is stubborn and lazy as hell . like when the shit comes out about her stealing designs , she will NEVER own up to it . even though she absolutely did it out of pure laziness . she spent so many years in college just partying it up with her parents’ credit card instead of actually learning how to design clothing lmao . she is ... fickle with a purpose . she kind of lies to herself about how intertwined she is in people’s lives to save herself the hassle of actually caring about people . if that makes sense ??? like she lies to herself and says that theres no way people care enough about her to care about whether or not she shows up somewhere just so she won’t feel bad about not showing up . and that translates into more than just attendance of events , unfortunately . she’s very blunt and honest to a fault . like obviously she is ... lying about a lot of things in her life , but she will be brutally honest with you about your issues ! like okay miss hypocrite . but she’s generally very flirty and kind of flighty and out there . like her head is always in the clouds and you will just never know if she is listening to you or not . but i promise she is fun to be around when there isn’t any definite strings attached or anything !! she will just start to pull a lil escapist act when you actually want her to commit to something . 

[rcinberry]

•♢  ▪  MEET THE JUNG FAMILY ( + IMMEDIATE )

as stated in my intro, the jungs were known worldwide as renowned physicians who would end up owning and funding hospitals all across the world, thus establishing the name JUNG. they’re a household name due to their impact in the medical world, if you hear the name JUNG - you know that their family is tied deep with their hospitality around the world and their influence spoke magnitude. the jung’s are no stranger to the media either, whether it’s on PAGE 6, TMZ, VOGUE or COSMO - their efforts, their style and their lives don’t go unnoticed by the media or the world; all eyes on them. their influence is unmatched; their list of connections are endless. knowing them is a blessing and a curse, depending which jung you knew! 

ELIZABETH JUNG - MOTHER

ah.. miss elizabeth .. liz .. lizabeth, or as sebastian likes to say to her face - waste of space taking the role of ‘mother’ when she lacks motherly love. he and his mother DO not get along,  at all - since the dawn of time, even upon birth he just never vibed with his mom - he can smell the fake from miles away. his mom was always someone who put on a different face but acted completely different in private - in short, his mother is ruthless that puts on a kind mask to the public. sebastian took it from her to be as he is, uncaring, disregards others and thanks to her - his true colors are his true colors. growing up, all they ever did was argue - but god, never in front of silvia. there was no mother son relationship, he felt like a stranger in his own home with her around.... i think they’ve gone to therapy together but you know how the story goes.... look where they are now. ever since elizabeth murdered his uncle when he was a teenager all his suspicions growing up about her lacking any empathy and only gave a fuck about money, it was evident in her life style in her mannerism and the way she spoke down to others (where do you think he gets it from?); after seeing her for what she is, sebastian’s relationship with his mother is non existent from 19 onwards, on paper he is her son but now in public he was nothing to do with her.u kno ? killing ur mother in ur head when ur 13 does wonders and then killing her again at 19 also does wonders this is y i say no matter what the elites say .. it doesnt hurt bc his mom has called him everything in the book that nothing hurts or phases him anymore, no wound cuts deeper than not having a motherly figure 

RICHARD JUNG  - FATHER

ah.. richie rich, dick jung ! anyway, richard is the kinder of the couple - hard working, driven, full of love and just everything elizabeth isn’t. i imagine that richard actually loved being a doctor and helping people out genuinely and like :( he rly loved his brother and losing him was so devastating like theres nothing like losing a twin that won’t hurt? also i think it’s funny, ellie if ur reading this, richard ran away when his brother died and silvia ran away to new zealand w him while seb and silvia died kinda funny huh? anyway, rich and sebastian had the strongest relationship like, he loved and looked up to his father. he would travel with his father to different countries to open up hospitals, attend events for reopenings or revamping whatever the case may be  - sebastian saw the world in a different lense with his dad, those were his favorite memories as a teenager. he didn’t do extra shit and like immerse himself in school and establishing his name the way silvia did, he wanted to travel and see the world with his dad which is what he did and was home schooled for that reason. even tho his dad is gone and he’s trying his best to find him, richard and sebastian have a father son bond that’s strong - sebastian’s like a little kid that finds home in his father, out of everyone in the family he’s the closest thing he has to holding onto his sanity but once that was gone, he was trying not to fall apart. mans just rly wants to find his dad, his inner child is all thats left that needs someone to hold him and tell him he’s doing good , i think .. his dad could do that :/ ouch

SILVIA JUNG - TWIN

ah.. silvia... his bestie since diapers....until you know as of recently, i know i said this in my intro but he would protect silvia like his life depended on it whether she wanted it or not - minus the fact she stabbed him in the back but like him and silvia were two peas in a pod , like not ot be cheesy - she was his best friend growing up because like sebastian... never made friends, he didn’t go to school like silvia did where she had the chance to meet different groups of people and expand her views on the world, all sebastian had was her and he was okay with that? he didn’t like to make friends, and i was talking to ellie bout this but without having a motherly figure in his life - he kind of projected wanting a mothers love onto silvia because she was the closest thing to a mother figure in that house and in his life. he would want her approval, her words cut just as deep as his mother so losing her was like a mind numbing experience. he puts on a brave face to the world acting like he doesn’t care but god it hurts, it genuinely hurts to lose his twin and doesn’t understand how she could turn so cold and cruel towards him yk? he didn’t realize he was suffocating her, he was supposed to protect her but in the end they fell apart. it was supposed to be them against the world yk? like the jung twins together were always a duo in the media, never one without the other - like he cut deep with his words and she was always the timid one between them but they both share qualities that deem them what they were - powerful together but :/ ok im gna cry if i keep typing more

BAMBI - HIS DOGGOOOO, thumper’s silvia’s !

bambi is thumpers sister, the twins got these pair of golden’s when they were babies and they grew up with them and sebastian .. god .. HE loves his dog so much it’s insane, she’s his emotional support and bambi is very protective sebastian - she may be old but she has enough to run and bite people on behalf of him and it’s very fitting, she’s his dog and they’re both selective of each other, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his pup - she gets the best treatment a dog can get, they cuddle in his bed every night, she’s probably seen over 309435 different faces in her life time, anyway sebastian and his dog like to sit together and listen to music and she makes him happy, she knows when he’s sad and cuddles up against him and he instantly feels better 

[danidoesathing]

ok! i’ve got the beginning and end written, it’s the middle that i need to write still, and it’s disgustingly sweet (i’ll post it to ao3 when i’ve got it finished bc i refuse to upload an unfinished work). also lemme know if you wanna read the ending as well, i wasn’t sure (it, too, is fluffy to hell and back)

Chapter 1:

Tim hated this. He hated it all. He’d rather be anywhere else in the world if he could, he could’ve been at home in his room with his laptop and Jay to talk to, but instead he was here with his mom who thought that she had any right to his life after leaving it for good (when he was twelve years old in a mental hospital too, who did that to their child?) and apparently forgot why she did, since she wouldn’t shut up. He’d had enough by the third hour of the “vacation” she took him to, and maybe if he hadn’t hated pity as much as he did, especially from the one that caused him to be pitied, he would have enjoyed the five-star hotel stay more, rather than feel like he was stuck in one long panic attack. He had managed to get away, though. He excused himself to the bathroom and felt grateful she had allowed him that much. He didn’t pay too much attention to the walk to the bathroom - he was trying to breathe in and out regularly and count to ten and pay attention to what he felt and all the other coping methods they taught him in the ten years he spent in the psych ward. He only realized there was someone else in the bathroom when the person (Tim assumed they were male, this was the men’s bathroom) sighed and firmly said, “I need more time, you can’t just ruin my entire life to gain a few weeks.” 

Brian had really been looking forward to the week he’d spend on his own - privacy and being alone weren’t really concepts that his family understood, and it had only gotten worse when the marriage proposal came. He’d tried to explain countless times that he was gay and that he would rather marry a frog than the fake, manipulative, entitled, rude, homophobic, racist, bitchy, but most importantly rich girl his parents had chosen for him to marry. As if he’d spend more than a minute within a five-mile radius of the piece of shit who wanted his money and his name, nothing else. When the call from his mother (Brian had stopped calling Carol Thomas his mom years ago, when she first started denying his issues and instead punished him for things he couldn’t control) came, he escaped to the bathroom since it was closer than his room, even though it was a lot less private. He didn’t think anything would go wrong, it wasn’t busy at the restaurant and even if someone entered, they would probably leave him alone to suffer in his misery. 

Brian hadn’t noticed the tired man who slunk into the bathroom at first, but when he saw the defeated slump of his shoulders and how utterly exhausted his eyes looked, his mother demanded that he come home the next day. He was pretty sure that everyone within the state could hear his sigh, and he thought about how he had gotten so sick of his own family that this was the case with every conversation he had with them. After his final compromise, he hung up without saying goodbye or waiting for Carol to respond. He knew what she would have said anyway, was far too familiar with the same conversation.

Tim hesitated, trying to figure out what to do - he couldn’t just leave and pretend he’d heard nothing, but he didn’t know this man, like, at all, so he also couldn’t try to comfort him or ask him what was wrong, because something clearly was. 

“Family problems,” Brian said into the silence, which was probably just a few seconds long but to Tim’s anxiety-ridden mind it was a lifetime of waiting. 

Tim smiled slightly. “I’m familiar.” 

Brian made an interested noise.  “You tell me about your life, and I tell you ‘bout mine, alright?” 

He understood what sort of deal this was, he was used to therapists and doctors and psychiatrists trying to take his brain apart and figure out what was wrong with him, to try to fix him (or that’s what they said, but he wasn’t sure there weren’t any other reasons behind their words). He despised being treated like a wild animal who could lose his mind and attack at any moment, with a single wrong move. They had treated him like he was dangerous and they pitied him for it, but Brian, he hadn’t looked scared of Tim. He hadn’t acted like he was trying to play it safe - rather, he had tried to make Tim feel comfortable by making himself as vulnerable as Tim was. He realized that he didn’t want to strangle Brian. I’ve spent so much time with psychologists that I’ve started acting like one, analyzing everything and everyone’s actions. Tim laughed internally at the thought. 

“Sure. I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” He responded, and told Brian about his current predicament with his mother, leaving out the parts in which he was at the hospital - he just said that he had a chronic illness and his mom had left him at 12 when he had been in the hospital for four years. 

“Shit, dude, that really sucks. She doesn’t have any right to your life now, you know that right?” Brian said at the end of Tim’s story, after a short pause to take it all in. “I’m going to sound like a whiny white asshole with my story now,” he added. Tim shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. After all, my life doesn’t invalidate yours,” he said, and the corners of Brian’s mouth twitched up. “I guess you’re right,” he said, and started explaining how his parents wanted him to marry a rich woman high up the ladder of status in the elite community he was born into, and Tim could feel himself tensing up and his mind starting to buzz. 

Brian noticed that the man in front of him was looking a little off, and stopped midway through describing that he only had the next week or so to find his soulmate, otherwise he’d be stuck with someone he hated for the rest of his life. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly, and the other man (Brian only just realized that he knew this man’s life story but not his name, and mentally reprimanded himself for not introducing himself and asking his name) took a shuddering breath. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, and Brian didn’t call him out on his bullshit. “Please continue, I’m way too invested in your life now.” He smiled, and Brian laughed. 

“Alright, but first, you have to tell me your name because I’ve realized we haven’t introduced ourselves and it’s killing me,” Brian said.

“My name’s Tim Wright.”

“Brian Thomas. Nice to meet you, I guess,” Tim rolled his eyes at Brian’s antics, but Brian knew he was amused, as evidenced by Tim’s light snort. Tim told him to get on with the story, (a bit like a whining child, but in a good way, Brian thought) and he responded with, “Okay, okay, I’ll get to it then.”

“There isn’t much left,” Brian warned. When Tim nodded his understanding, he continued from where he had stopped, and when he had finished talking about his current fucked-up situation, the other man had been shocked into silence. 

“You have to be kidding me,” he finally said. “There’s no way that that shit’s real and actually happening to you.” 

Brian shook his head and sighed. “I wish I was, but nope! My parents are just assholes who are outta their minds.” 

Tim thought for a second - he had to do something, but he didn’t know what he could to be able to help. He chewed on his lip, and after a minute or so, had an idea that he thought could possibly work. 

“How about we pretend that we’re soulmates?” he asked Brian, who looked taken aback but also as if he was considering Tim’s proposition. Tim was about to backtrack and apologize, maybe say something along the lines of or we can just not do that if you don’t want to I’m sorry for bringing it up you must think I’m so creepy and weird and can we just ignore this ever happened?  

But then Brian nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Actually, I can imagine how that would work. I’d call my parents and tell them that I’ve already found my soulmate and that I want to spend more time with you, and you’d talk to them in order to convince them further if they don’t believe me. I already know I’m gay, so my soulmate is definitely a man, so your voice being a guy’s wouldn’t be a problem and when I find my actual soulmate, if they sound different to you, we could just blame it on the phone being weird through the call. We could say that we wanna spend a few weeks getting to know each other before I leave, and during that time I could find my real soulmate. If I can’t, then we can come up with scenarios in which I’d need to stay longer until I do. Yeah, actually, this is a really good idea, Tim.” 

“Uh, really? I mean, thanks,” Tim said, still reeling from Brian’s rambling. “How are we going to do this? Do you like, I don’t know, wanna call your parents and I can talk to them?”

“Yeah, sure, give me a sec,” Brian fished in his pocket for his phone and Tim internally panicked while Brian called his mother. He would have had a panic attack, but before he could truly get worked up, Brian was already talking. 

“Hey mother, guess what happened - no, you’ll never guess - I found my soulmate! And he’s a guy like I said he would be! Oh, you don’t want my soulmate to be a man? Well, unfortunately, apparently the universe doesn’t share your homophobic views - oh come on, would I lie about this? You don’t believe me? Fine, I guess I’ll have to prove it. Mother, meet Tim.”

“Hello Mrs. Thomas, it’s nice to meet you,” Tim said, and Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen, and he didn’t want Tim to be there for it. He hated his parents, and the thought of them hurting Tim in any way was unbearable. Wait, what? I met him like 15 minutes ago, why do I care so much about him? He was going to figure out his feelings regarding Tim, but then he saw how he was getting anxious, so he decided to intervene now and unpack his shit later. 

Grabbing the phone from Tim, he told his parents that he and Tim wanted to get to know each other by staying at the hotel for longer, and when they objected, he simply reminded them that he was his own person and as an adult, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do, slowly getting more pissed off with every word that his parents said. Knowing that he would snap if he listened to more of their bullshit, he hung up after letting them know he would stay for a few more weeks in Ohio, though probably in a motel (he wasn’t rich enough to spend weeks at a five-star hotel). He looked at Tim. “Are you okay? You looked pretty freaked out there, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that much pressure on-”

“No, no, you’re fine. I guess I just felt overwhelmed, sort of? I don’t really know why I felt so anxious, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety for, like, 16 years. I should be used to it by now,“ Tim assured Brian. "Plus, it worked, didn’t it? they weren’t happy, but they seem to have believed us, so you can stay for a few more weeks and try to find your soulmate. Actually, why are you searching in Ohio and not Alabama anyway? Aside from the obvious reason, of course.” he added. 

Brian frowned. “I don’t really know, I guess this just felt closer to my soulmate. You know how your mark is supposed to like, tingle and shit?” Tim nodded, and Brian continued. “Yeah, I guess that’s why - Ohio feels like I’m closer to finding them than in Alabama." 

"Yeah, I think I get it. It feels the same for me too, if I think about it - my mark feels weird and that’s never happened before, so I must be doing something right,” Tim said after thinking for a while, and Brian laughed.

“Hey, who knows, maybe we’ll find our soulmates in here, and maybe we’ll find them at around the same time - that would be so cool! You know, I think I rather like you, Tim. I’d like to be friends - if you wanna, of course,” Brian said, and Tim answered with an affirmative. 

“Well, you’re pretty cool yourself Brian Thomas, and I would indeed like to be friends, but I really gotta go. Emily’s probably going out of her mind, wondering where her son she found after 12 years went to,” Tim joked, and they exchanged numbers. 

“ So, I still have a week or so left, which means I’ll probably see you around the hotel and shit. Bye Tim,” Brian called as he left the bathroom, and Tim waved back before following.

  Chapter 2:

Brian walked back to his room, since he had already finished his dinner, and contemplated the last hour. He had gone from having to fight his parents for less than a week to find his soulmate to being given permission (well, sort of. Brian thought it counted if they had always encouraged him to do something until it actually got to the point in which said thing would be applicable - they couldn’t just change their minds because they were homophobic assholes) for almost a month doing whatever he wanted wherever he wanted to. 

Of course, there was also Tim. He didn’t quite understand why he liked Tim already, or why Tim had helped him, but he knew that he didn’t regret it at all. Plus, they were friends now, and he felt that they would only get closer with time. He’d arrived at his room by this point, and after entering, he decided that he wouldn’t get anything else done today. Within minutes he was in bed - no point pretending to be functional when there was nobody around to see it, and plus, he was very sleep-deprived and he should probably go to sleep to fix that. 

Since he’d been lying still with his eyes closed for over an hour, Brian believed that he was justified in going on his phone. However, once he opened his phone, he realized that he didn’t really have anything to do, and in a moment of boredom and apathy for his future, he decided to text Tim.

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: Hey tim

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: it’s me brian

  savingprivatebrian [23:42]: if you couldn’t tell

  He was surprised to see that Tim was online, and soon enough, he saw Tim’s typing bubble pop up.

  Tim [23:44]: yeah 

Tim [23:44]: i saved your number

  Tim [23:44]: anyway whats up

  Brian smiled because of course Tim was awake, he totally seemed like the type of person who’s constantly tired and sleep-deprived.

  savingprivatebrian [23:44]: nothing

  savingprivatebrian [23:45]: i just couldnt sleep

  Tim [23:45]: i get that

Tim [23:46]: insomnias a bitch

  savingprivatebrian [23:46]: yep

savingprivatebrian [23:47]: so do you wanna just talk until we can sleep

  Tim [23:47]: please

He laughed at Tim’s response, and settled comfortably into his nest of pillows (perks of five-star hotels) to talk to Tim.

In the end, they both agreed to go to sleep at around 3:30 in the morning, after having texted for almost four hours. If he wasn’t so sleepy, he might’ve wondered why conversation was so easy when he was talking to Tim when he normally wouldn’t be able to even form sentences with people he knew as little as he knew Tim. Instead, though, he placed his phone on the bedside drawer, rolled over, and fell asleep within minutes, still with a little smile playing on his lips.

  Chapter 3:

  A week later, Tim’s mother left to go back to work, and Tim promised her that he’d come to visit every now and then. He was surprised to find that he was planning to keep that promise - after his mom explained her reasons, he learned that she hadn’t left because she wanted to, only because she had to. Her life had been easier without him, and that realization hurt. He had held her back her entire life, and he really couldn’t blame her for having done whatever she could to get rid of the reason she couldn’t be happy. He was over it, though. He had had more than a decade to come to terms with the fact that everyone he cared about would leave him eventually, when they realized that he would always be problematic, that he would never get better, and that he would always drag them down. Why would anyone stay with that?

Then came was Brian. Tim knew that he was falling, falling hard, but he also knew that Brian didn’t feel the same - they both wanted to find their soulmates, and even if Brian did like someone as fucked up as Tim, when he found his soulmate, he’d just leave. 

He had told Brian about his mom and how he felt, as well as why he was in a hospital for 10 years, and Brian’s only reaction was to hug him (they didn’t notice that no parts of their skin had made contact, Tim would later realize) and telling him that he’d never leave. That was a bigger deal than Brian realized, and he had broken down crying, which caused Brian to start crying too. They had spent about 2 hours talking about their problems, and Tim left Brian’s room feeling better than he had for over a month. They had only been friends for a few days at that point, but there was no denying that they had a connection - they were already so, so close (and if Tim wanted them to be even closer, well, no-one had to know). 

Jay had called, on the second day. He had asked what was going on and why the hell Tim hadn’t texted or called him - rightfully so, since they usually talked daily and it had been more than 2 days with nothing. Tim had ranted about Brian and his mom, but it had taken Jay about ten minutes into Tim’s monologue to point out that he was totally crushing on Brian, and Tim had found himself unable to argue. After talking for over an hour, Jay had hung up with a threat to Tim if he didn’t text him everything that happened. 

Tim thought back to that conversation many times over the following days - he could trust Jay to call him out on his bullshit and help him work through it, and he knew Jay could do the same. Whenever his anxiety convinced him that they simply tolerated his presence and actually hated him, Tim would text Jay (and now Brian) and Jay would not stop texting him until Tim had no doubt left about their friendship.

On his last day in the hotel, a week after he arrived and met Brian, he had breakfast with Brian to talk about what they were going to do, since this was Brian’s last day too. 

“Over here,” Brian called out as Tim walked into the restaurant in the hotel, from which they got free breakfast. 

“Hey,” Tim said when he sat down. “You wanna go get some food? I’m starving.”

“Yeah, sure. Just a second,” Brian put his stuff on the extra chair, and connected his phone to a charger. “My battery’s at 12 percent,” he explained at Tim’s questioning look.

“Alright, let’s go. What do you wanna get?” Brian asked when they entered the self-service area.

“Eggs and bacon first, so they cook, but I’ll look around anyway to see what’s there,” Tim answered while grabbing a plate.

“Why didn’t you get a fork and knife too?”

“Because I’ll drop them, Brian.” 

“Ha, weak.”

“Do you really want to try me?” 

“Geez, you’re just so scary.”

“I know.” 

They had reached the omelette station, and they waited for their orders to be cooked in comfortable silence, which was new to both of them. Shaking his head, Tim decided to ignore his lack of friends while he was so happy and had the chance to spend time with someone who not only could tolerate him, but also wanted to befriend him. 

He was brought back to reality by Brian nudging him, and snapped his eyes onto Brian in alarm, quickly realizing there was no threat, there was just his food (paranoia had become a reflex at this point, and he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to laugh or cry because of it). 

Throughout breakfast, Tim found his eyes lingering more and more on Brian’s lips when all social and conversational norms stated that his gaze should be on his eyes or overall figure to watch his body language and hand gestures, so like everyone else who’s ever been in this situation, he decided, okay, we’re going to put these feelings of attraction in a box, now close it, and yep! Push it as far away from coherent thought as you can, right up against the childhood trauma, self-hatred, insecurity, and look! It’s the box of fear of abandonment. Now, we don’t think about these, so surely this’ll be safe here. After cataloging everything into the dark basement of his mind, buried deep under everything else and covered in the mental equivalent of cobwebs and a layer of dust over everything, he simply looked away from Brian’s mouth and focused on literally any other part of his body, like, like- his eyes! That would surely work, wouldn’t it? You can’t possibly mess eye contact up, even though you’re, well, you, Tim. Don’t fuck this up with your social incompetence.

Yeah, no. After only a few minutes of trying to draw his attention away from what Brian would taste like, he found out that eyes are just as dangerous as lips, since he found that it was easier than it should be to get lost in Brian’s warm hazel eyes. He never realized that there were rings of different colours, and with the light framing his face, he looked otherworldly, like he didn’t belong to planet Earth or at least had some kind of magic coursing through his veins, just like warmth was coursing through Tim’s as he drowned in the ocean of brown and green filling Brian’s eye sockets. Because he was drowning, drowning, drowning as he forgot to breathe, move, do anything at all in the haze that came over him.

-------------------------------

[bnha-mha-imagines]

Uhm, can i have a little story where the reader is an exchange student from america and misses home, so she's up late one night cooking some american food bc she misses home and like cries while eating it but todo or kiri find them and help them feel better? I'm sorry if i worded this weird, I'm still a little new to requesting things. thank you! ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵

Haha, don’t worry, it wasn’t weird! I picked Todoroki, hopefully this fits what you wanted! :)

Todoroki x Reader

Word Count: 2283

Warnings: Verrry light angst, author being stupid with how Japanese schools work, fluff at the end, potentially ooc Todoroki? Ugh im inexperienced with him

Summary: (Y/n) is a foreign U.S. student at UA. One night she feels very homesick while making nostalgic American food, and Todoroki finds her crying…

UA was elite, and served not only as a distinguished school in Japan, but also on a global scale. When you sent in your application, you had little hope of moving on to the written and practical exam portion, especially with you being from America. So imagine your surprise when you actually received a letter in the mail informing you that you had been invited to Japan, expenses paid on top of that! 

Within a week, you and your parents rushed to pack your things into three suitcases and sent you over to Japan on a flight across the Pacific ocean. The whole experience filled you with a mixture of emotions. Of course you were ecstatic to have a chance at attending UA! Surely this was the best school to get you ahead on your hero career. But you couldn't deny the fear that this news struck within you. 

It was your first time flying alone, and to a foreign country at that. You were leaving your entire life behind in America without much time to say goodbye to your friends and family. While you could speak Japanese, you were far from fluent by native standards. And, on top of all that, you still had to check into your hotel and take the exams before you were actually admitted into UA. What if you had come all this way just to be sent back? 

By the time you arrive in Japan and retrieve your bags from the baggage claim, it was already 1 in the morning. Exhausted, you waited at the pick up line, looking for the person from UA who should be waiting for you. Eyes tired and heavy, you saw a tall man with spiky blond hair holding a sign with your name on it. He was quite the character, and feeling intimidated, you hesitantly introduce yourself with your amateur Japanese. 

The man, who introduced himself as one of the teachers at UA and pro-hero Present Mic, was actually very friendly! Despite how weary you felt, you forced a smile, hoping everyone here was as nice as he was. Once you were settled into your hotel, Mic informed you to rest well, for the exams were early the next morning! Leaving you to your room, you leapt into the bed the moment he closed the door.

Without even bothering to change out of your clothes, you fell asleep within seconds, but not before setting an alarm for 7am. As you slept, you weren’t aware that within the next 24 hours you would not only be admitted into the UA hero program, but in the top 1-A hero class.

After two weeks into school, you learned a number of things. First, that being from America instantly made you a class celebrity. Every student in class already knew you the moment you first entered the room, and you were unprepared for how many questions you were bombarded with. Though overwhelming, you had to admit that it was a good ice-breaker for making friends!

Second, not every teacher was as kind as Present Mic. Mr. Aizawa was border-line sadistic, and on top of that you got off to a rocky start. Who would have known your newfound fame would also have Aizawa target you for being a distraction. Unfortunately for you, you had to work two times as hard to prove to him you were serious about your education.

Third, life in Japan was significantly different from America. It was a huge culture shock, and you struggled with the social differences between both countries. Despite your frequent mistakes, your classmates were very forgiving, and gave you helpful tips on how to act appropriately in Japan. Though, you found yourself in quite a few embarrassing situations…

Despite the difficulties, you wore a large smile as time went on. You could feel yourself growing stronger and adapting to life here. You became fast friends with your classmates, especially with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida. Uraraka even took you under her wing and helped improve your Japanese! Eventually people began to no longer associate you with America. Instead of ‘the American’, they viewed you as they did any other hardworking classmate. 

Even Todoroki, who initially deemed you a distraction, had opened up to you. Much to your surprise, he was actually rather fun to be around despite his cool and intimidating exterior. After Midoriya had introduced you both, you found it much easier to talk to him. Soon your mutual admiration had morphed into a friendship, and you really appreciated his company. While he never showed much interest in where you came from, you appreciated it. It made you feel less like an oddity, like you belonged here. 

By the time the first semester finals arrived, life in Japan had become routine and normal. Of course you missed some things about home in America, but you were always having so much fun and were so busy that you rarely had time to feel down about it! At least...that’s what you thought. 

At night, when you were alone with your own thoughts, you couldn’t ignore the waves of home-sickness that overwhelmed you. Sure you had made friends; you would even say Todoroki and Uraraka had become your best friends. But, you still felt hollow when you remembered all of the people you had left behind. The food, the weather, the brands… everything was different from what you were used to, and you find yourself missing things as little as a can of coke or some good ol’ Kraft mac n’ cheese. 

During one of your bi-weekly phone calls, you relayed to your mom that you were beginning to miss home. As much as you loved everyone here, it was hard to talk to them about home when they could never really understand where you were coming from. Your mother, however, understood completely. The moment you told her you were homesick, she sent you a small care package in the mail of all of your favorite things! It was packed to the brim with American foods and snacks, and your mouth watered just looking at them all!

You pushed the box under your bed, afraid that your friends may try to steal some of them when you clearly needed it more than them. Your supplies were limited after all. It didn’t hurt what they didn’t know!

Now, during the nights when you feel homesick and lonely, you would pop out one of your American snacks. You would close your eyes and imagine you were back home in the states, and for a little bit you would feel better...before you had to open your eyes again and clean up the empty trash. 

It was on one of these nights that you decided to make some Kraft mac n’ cheese. You had been saving the box for a particularly hard night, and this one...this one took the cake. Aizawa had put you all through one of the most excruciating training sessions of the month, and on top of that you hadn’t done so hot on one of your quizzes. By now it was too late to call your mom for comfort, and you felt very, very alone. 

You were tired, but you couldn’t sleep. So, grabbing the box of Kraft, you quietly snuck out from your dorm to the common room so you could make your food. The common room usually buzzed with activity, but now with most people retired to their rooms, it was quiet. You leaned on the counter, watching the pot for the water to boil. 

Time seemed to slow as you absent-mindedly drained the noodles. The moment you ripped open the cheese pouch and got a whiff of that smell, you felt your lip tremble a little. You felt awful. 

Making yourself a bowl, you sat down at the table and stared into the food you had made. Your mouth watered as you lifted a spoonful to your mouth, closing your eyes as you ate. Like those many nights before, you tried to imagine you were sitting at your kitchen table back home in America...but you couldn’t escape. 

When you opened your eyes your vision was blurred with tears. Sniffling, you forced another spoonful into your mouth desperately hoping it could fill the void in your stomach. It didn’t. Setting the spoon back into the bowl, you rubbed your eyes with your sleeve, little sobs retching out of you. All this time you had refused to cry. All this time you had refused to show anyone how lonely you were. Finally, months of repressed emotion came pouring out.

Overwhelmed, you almost didn’t hear the voice from behind you. “(Y/n)?” You couldn’t respond, trying to quiet your sobs as the person approached you. Looking up, you saw Todoroki take a seat in front of you, concern written all over his usually emotionless face. Your tear-stained face felt hot with embarrassment. You had hoped everyone was asleep by now, but here you were, caught, sobbing over your food. You tried to hide your face, feeling pathetic.  

“(Y/n),” Todoroki said more firmly, placing his hands on your forearms to reveal your face. Forced to look him in the eye, you felt your body shake and you laughed pitifully.

“I’m pathetic aren’t I?” you asked him, your voice congested with tears. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” you cried. Todoroki didn’t speak for a moment, his eyes piercing. 

With his hands still holding you gently, he asked you in a very serious tone. “Did someone hurt you?” You were already shaking your head, sniffling. He left out a relieved sigh, his eyes softening immensely as he looked at you. “Why are you so distraught?”

Again, you felt yourself laugh sadly. “It’s stupid, it’s…” Todorki shook his head at this, causing your lip to tremble as more tears spilled from your eyes. “I-I just really miss everything. My home, my family,” you looked as your bowl of still steaming mac and cheese, “the food…everything.” Surprising you, Todoroki lifted a hand to gently brush away a stray tear. Never since you met him had he been so tender with you.

“You’re homesick,” he mumbled more to himself than you. Hearing it aloud was enough to send tremors through you, another wave of emotion overtaking you. Letting you cry it out, you felt his hand take and squeeze your own. The pressure was reassuring. As you finished, you heard him speak softly to you. “Tell me about it.” 

You blinked, a surprised look crossing your teary eyes. “About America?” Ever since you met, Todoroki had never expressed interest in the United States. That was one of the reasons you liked hanging out with him at first. Seeing him ask about it now was unexpected to say the least. 

Todoroki shook his head. “Not about America, about your home.” You blinked. His request was so much different than everyone else’s. People were usually only interested in the school system, or the politics, or the culture. His eyes were so serious, you couldn’t help but feel a little flattered that he actually wanted to hear about your past. 

You sniffed, wiping your eyes. “Well,” you began, “I had this one friend…” you began to tell him about your past-life, from your friendships, to your family, to your favorite places to go in your home-town. It was the first time you had spoken about it to anyone at UA, and seeing how intently Todoroki listened to you made you feel as if every word you said was important. The whole while you spoke his hands encased yours, letting you know in a tangible language that he was there. You talked until your voice ran dry and your food was cold. 

You finished talking, and your eyes felt heavy. You were exhausted from crying, and by now it was very late. Todoroki was already helping you to your feet when you yawned. “I’ll clean this up for you,” he said, looking into your face. “You should get to bed. Can you walk?” 

You felt your heart flutter at his concern for you. “Yes,” you said, voice tired. Todoroki looked at you for a few seconds before shaking his head, unconvinced. Silently, he reached out and lifted you into his arms effortlessly. Feeling heat rise to your face, you went silent, wrapping your arms around him to better balance yourself. 

As if you were as light as a feather, he carried you back to your dorm, using one hand to carefully open your door without dropping you. Once he made it to the side of your bed, he gently sat you down. “I’m going to go clean up,” he spoke, his eyes running over your form. “Will you be alright on your own?” You nodded, still flustered from your ride.

Todoroki seemed assured, turning to leave. In a moment of panic, you reached out and grabbed his wrist. “W-Wait,” you began, eyes wide as he pauses to look back at you. “Thank you...for staying up with me and for listening.” You looked down, shy. Feeling a slight pressure on your forehead, you glance back up to see Todoroki pulling away.

“You’re welcome, (Y/n),” he said softly, a fond look in his eyes. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow. For now you should get some rest. Sweet dreams.” Quietly, he left the room and shut the door, leaving you wondering if he had even been there at all. 

Rolling over in your bed, you felt a fuzzy feeling in your chest as you remembered how he kissed your forehead just a minute ago. Suddenly, you didn’t feel quite so alone. 

[souvercines]

took me ages to wrap this up between a low battery and trying not to ramble TOO much, but part two, here we go glfkdsj

✰ ––– ni ni. cis female. she/her // you don’t know ? that’s RENÉE WU ! they’re a THIRTY-FOUR year old real estate executive from LONDON, ENGLAND. as part of manhattan’s elite, the wayfarer is known to be DILIGENT & AUDACIOUS. most people recognize them by bold power suits, waking up refreshed beneath silk sheets, tipping generously, heels clacking against hardwood, three passport photos. ( kat, 22, nt, she/her )

born wu xiurong to a hong kong born, uk raised father and a chinese national mother, renée was similarly set for success as caro, but with way WAY less cracked antics and without caro’s ( self-perceived ) limitless privilege

( and for the record, renée herself went from being a dual citizen to a uk citizen bc china is funny like that.. though citizenship laws are weird so she might be considered dual since she’s been in america for a good bit ?? god help me DFLGJSK )

papa wu and his siblings are at the helm of a hong kong-based real estate development firm that has since flourished into a sotheby’s/christie’s-like group, but her geographical background is a tad more complex than that.. as if it wasn’t clear enough a second ago but let me explain sijfg

she and her older brother were born and raised in the uk; so while papa wu and his family were busy building up their company with many trips abroad, renée, her brother and her mom hung back in london for the most part — though some of her summers were spent in hong kong, with family in mainland china or along the beaches of the mediterranean when she wasn’t embracing the countryside of her home country during term breaks

however, at age 12, she and the family moved to edinburgh so she could attend a more prestigious private school — and so they could be a bit closer to her brother who was spending time at the renowned st. andrew’s university

speaking of her brother, they have quite the age gap, so while they do love each other and all that, they aren’t necessarily close. he was always primed to be something of an heir and he was more than cool with that, while renée was more keen on taking her time to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.... though the answer was laid out in front of her regardless and she would ultimately join her brother in her later years

she loved seeing the blueprints and little online models of projects the company was included in, the construction of a high-rise apartment building and the potential layout/design of it. it piqued her interest that her father’s start as a real estate agent brought him to this point, and it made her want to work hard as well, especially within the family business

as not to neglect mama wu, she was something of a socialite; having come from a somewhat wealthy family herself, her and her husband couldn’t be more different in terms of self-discipline and aspirations. however, she put her energy into more charitable and community-focused avenues as her children grew older, in which they were sometimes involved in upcoming events and activities

in renée’s eyes, they were a dream team in their own way when they would reunite, and the lessons that came with their individual and mutual grinds sort of paved the way for her

unlike her brother, she wound up attending london school of economics and majored in finance and staying on for her masters in real estate economics

she later began to work her way up the family business, first as an agent in the uk and at present, as an executive with plenty of investment in bigger projects and smaller listings with some of her past clients

her job has taken her to different cities for weeks or months at a time, but at the age of twenty-eight, she dubbed nyc home as the company expanded into east coast america, having lived in the city ever since !

personality and extras

she is.. quite a mess i guess ?? in terms of traits, i mean

she’s definitely independent and driven, the right amount of courteous in professional and kind of elite settings, not afraid to make tough decisions and take risks

like she’s lighthearted with coworkers and such, but she will sometimes reprimand someone a little bit harsher than necessary when stressed about x thing for instance

but aspects of this are a mask that slips off quick and are replaced by something of a jubilant free spirit, someone who enjoys herself with anything from a night in with a good book and some light piano arrangements playing in the background, to going to her fave restaurant with a few pals for a drink every couple of weeks and possibly going to a club or bar if she’s in the mood

passionate beyond her career, is the complete opposite of caro when it comes to her love life; she’s loyal and when she’s committed, she’ll put a great deal of effort into the relationship

she’s definitely sentimental, loves her family and will cherish the hell out of you as a friend once you’ve solidified yourself in her life

a world-class traveller, which kinda went without saying from her label lbr KFLSDJG

she just. loves to explore ! sometimes acts without thinking to make the most of a given journey, was totally the type to cliffdive with pals in greece or parasail in the caribbean

and she still is, but she’s toned it down a bit for the sake of ensuring she doesn’t look wrecked whenever she returns to work JDFKSLGJD

a major city dweller with an affinity for nature and rural destinations ! her apartment is probably riddled with fresh flowers or a diffuser that reminds her of the sea/rainfall, while most of her travels that aren't related to work or seeing family takes her to the countryside, the forest or a waterfront cottage

renée tends to be pretty active as well and those rather secluded, decongested places enable her to make the most of it versus going to a gym or out on the street with a hoard of tourists and citizens at every turn

besides, swimming in a lake or hiking a trail to sightsee is more of her speed than a ton of strength training and being on an elliptical sfgkdljfsdl

has a little tricoloured furbaby cat named lulu who she Adores, has a nice little bed and all for her too

i... drk what else but she’s a solid pal, a focused businesswoman and basically a lot of things that caro is not, which is a relief tbh GDSFLK

some wcs/plot ideas

i’m sure she’s living in some nice, modern apartment building.. at least on the inside, bc something tells me she’d go for a building made of brick with charm lkdsfjgkl, but nonetheless, having a couple of neighbours around would be great ! they could be good pals or just elevator buds/neighbours who communicate solely through the wall or something, idk

anyone from the uk that wants to be her longtime pal ?? or who went to school in the uk ? literally just give her a super close friend who she’d take on those nights out or have a nice little dinner at her/their place !

someone who looks after lulu while she’s abroad, not really a stand-alone connection but it’s uh.. a big deal for her so DSGKLJ

an ex-fiancé(e), likely one of those instances of being TOO similar but not in a couple of key areas, to be quite honest.. or something completely different SDFGJLKS i redacted a whole blurb that 1am!me came up with that was just too much, but they probably would’ve been together for 3 or 4 years before calling it off. i’d imagine she still loves them/cares deeply for them, but she probably wouldn’t rekindle the relationship anytime soon ( .. or at all, idk man dgsflkj )

someone she’s been sleeping with for a bit while she gets her mojo back ?? nothing serious, the girl just doesn’t wanna date right yet, but also doesn’t wanna fuck with a bunch of randoms kgfsdjklgd

give her any kind of pals, i’m blanking rn but someone she’s met on her travels is kind of an easy one i conjured up

she’s bound to not get along with some people, so consider this an opening for some frenemies/people she knows in passing but can’t get beyond small talk and such with each other

[sacrilegiovs]

(  josefine  frida  pettersen  ,  cisfemale  ,  she  /  her  ,  fire  emblem  :  three  houses  )  *  &.  i  know  it  must  be  scary  for  you  ,  edelgard  von  hresvelg  ,  after  not  surviving  the  takeover  .  to  turn  into  someone  like  edelle  hjördis  ,  a  twenty-four  year-old  code  enforcement  officer  at  city  hall  ,  right  here  in  castle  town  .  just  remember  that  you  are  as  ambitious  as  you  are  relentless  ,  and  to  be  wary  ,  be  safe  ,  be  true  to  who  you  are  :  neutral  through  and  through  .

hi  demons  it  me  ,  a  piece  of  garbage  !  this  is  ,  uh  ,  VERY  spoiler  heavy  so  …  i’m  sorry  ab  that  JSDHFNDJDHC  here’s  a  pinterest  board  for  edelgard  tho  bc  i  luv  my  daughter  !! 

TW.  food  /  drinks  ,  blood  (  pinterest  )  +  child  abuse  &  death ment.  /  trauma  (  intro  )  .

BEFORE  CASTLE  TOWN  .

edelgard  von  hresvelg  .  the  fourth  daughter  of  the  emperor  and  out  of  all  her  siblings  she  was  the  only  one  born  with  a  (  minor  )  crest  of  seiros  .

however  when  she  was  nine  ,  edie  and  her  mother  were  taken  by  her  uncle  to  the  holy  kingdom  of  faerghus  .  unbeknownst  to  her  back  home  ,  the  insurrection  of  the  seven  was  taking  place  —  reducing  her  father  to  nothing  more  than  a  political  puppet  .  her  own  uncle  was  one  of  the  key  conspirators  .  though  her  mother  eventually  married  the  king  of  faerghus  ,  edelgard  continued  to  live  with  her  uncle  .  during  her  time  in  the  kingdom  ,  edelgard  befriended  dimitri  and  the  two  spent  a  lot  of  time  together  ,  unaware  they  were  step-siblings  .  soon  after  she  turned  twelve  ,  edelgard  returned  to  the  empire  …  without  her  mother  .

then  shit  got  real  .

imagine  going  home  after  three  years  only  to  find  that  your  father  has  been  stripped  of  his  power  .  imagine  going  home  after  three  years  only  to  be  subjected  to  painful  experiments  with  your  ten  siblings  .  the  adrestian  nobles  supported  the  crest  experimentation  performed  by  those  who  slither  in  the  dark  ,  no  matter  the  cost  of  it  .  it  wasn’t  them  or  their  heirs  ,  so  why  should  they  have  qualms  ,  right  ?  now  ,  imagine  your  father  ,  who  was  rendered  practically  powerless  ,  objecting  and  trying  to  stop  it  with  all  he  had  left  …  but  ultimately  being  unable  to  do  anything  besides  sit  back  and  watch  this  relentless  torture  of  his  children  .

all  in  the  name  of  crests  .

most  of  her  siblings  were  driven  mad  or  died  from  exhaustion  .  in  the  end  ,  edelgard  was  the  only  one  to  survive  and  retain  the  sanity  that  had  been  lost  by  many  other  hresvelg  siblings  .  because  of  her  success  ,  she  bore  a  second  crest  now  .  the  crest  of  flames  ,  and  a  major  one  at  that  .  due  to  the  stress  that  having  two  crests  brought  ,  her  natural  brown  hair  turned  a  silvery  tone  .

and  her  view  of  crests  ,  the  church  of  seiros  ,  and  the  caste  system  of  fódlan  were  altered  forever  .

she  arrived  at  garreg  mach  monastery  to  complete  her  education  when  she  was  seventeen  ,  and  was  resolved  to  reclaim  what  her  father  had  lost  .  her  admittance  marked  the  first  time  in  ages  since  a  member  of  the  hresvelg  family  sent  a  member  to  the  officer's  academy  .  she  would  soon  become  the  house  leader  of  the  black  eagles  .

sometime  before  meeting  byleth  ,  edelgard  took  on  the  guise  of  the  flame  emperor  ,  and  her  suit  used  agarthan  technology  to  heavily  distort  her  voice  for  protection  purposes  .  believing  that  she  would  have  a  straightforward  time  unifying  fódlan  without  the  future  leaders  of  the  kingdom  and  the  alliance  in  her  way  ,  she  hired  bandits  to  assassinate  dimitri  and  claude  ,  respectively  .

a  quick  deviation  from  background  telling  .  to  be  honest  i  feel  as  if  this  act  in  particular  highlights  just  how  young  and  ,  ultimately  ,  inexperienced  edelgard  really  is  —  because  she’s  so  quick  to  put  an  assassination  attempt  on  the  table  .  how  she  made  a  seemingly  solid  enough  plan  ,  yet  despite  everything  ,  it  still  failed  .  we  have  to  remember  the  fact  she  was  a  teenager  in  the  beginning  .  a  child  .  yes  ,  one  willing  to  commit  murder  because  she  saw  it  as  the  most  viable  option  ,  but  a  child  nonetheless  .  however  ,  it  also  showcased  how  ruthless  she  can  be  .  ruthless  in  the  sense  that  she  won’t  stop  at  anything  to  get  from  point  a  to  point  b  .  in  edelgard’s  case  ,  she  felt  her  goals  were  far  greater  than  her  own  personal  feelings  .  towards  dimitri  ,  towards  claude  ,  towards  …  well  ,  everyone  (  as  we  see  during  the  conflict  of  the  holy  tomb  ,  specifically  during  the  black  eagles  run  .  she  didn’t  want  to  fight  her  friends  ,  but  she  wasn’t  above  giving  the  order  to  kill  anyone  who  tried  to  stop  them  .  she  was  already  resigned  to  the  notion  that  ,  in  order  to  fulfill  her  chosen  path  ,  she  needed  to  do  things  she  didn’t  necessarily  want  to  do  .  )

ok  ,  back  to  your  regularly  scheduled  programming  .

as  mentioned  ,  she  needed  to  strategize  in  ways  that  she  may  not  have  enjoyed  .  teaming  up  with  those  who  slither  in  the  dark  ,  irregardless  of  her  own  hatred  and  disdain  for  them  ,  was  a  huge  one  .  they  had  a  common  enemy  :  the  church  of  seiros  .  and  as  they  say  ,  the  enemy  of  my  enemy  is  my  friend  .  with  full  intention  of  turning  on  them  once  her  war  against  the  church  was  over  ,  edelgard  allied  herself  with  the  very  people  who  were  responsible  for  her  trauma  .  for  the  greater  good  ,  she  undoubtedly  told  herself  .  it  had  to  be  done  .  in  my  own  personal  view  of  edelgard  ,  she’s  pragmatist  .  meaning  the  church  /  crests  /  caste  system  were  the  focal  point  of  her  takedown  ,  and  what  she  may  logically  be  able  to  achieve  .  she  could  only  wage  one  war  at  a  time  .  plus  ,  with  TWSITD  believing  she  is  an  ally  ,  in  theory  it  would  be  much  easier  to  get  to  them  …  opposed  to  if  they  were  still  completely  in  the  shadows  .

equality  through  force  .  it  might  not  be  the  best  choice  ,  but  it  was  a  choice  that  edelgard  considered  long  and  hard  .  it’s  pretty  implied  that  edelgard  believed  in  meritocracy  ;  none  of  that  birthright  bullshit  that  the  caste  system  brought  upon  fódlan  .  and  certainly  no  more  crests  dictating  who  and  who  wasn’t  a  suitable  leader  (  a  prime  example  being  miklan  :  she  outright  expressed  sympathy  towards  him  ,  even  called  him  an  impressive  leader  ,  despite  not  having  a  crest  of  his  own  .  )

now  i  would  like  to  point  something  out  .  actually  ,  a  few  things  .  i  recall  most  clearly  in  silver  snow  ,  it  was  said  that  edelgard  DEMANDED  that  her  father  relinquished  the  emperor  position  to  her  ,  when  in  fact  ,  that  wasn’t  necessarily  correct  .  we  can  see  her  coronation  as  emperor  if  byleth  chose  to  go  with  her  when  they  had  high  enough  support  .  if  anything  ,  her  father  appeared  to  be  understanding  when  she  convinced  him  .  however  despite  the  obvious  antagonistic  viewpoint  characters  had  on  her  in  silver  snow  ,  the  only  route  she  was  clear-cut  painted  as  a  true  villain  …  was  azure  moon  .  the  same  route  it  was  confirmed  she  had  many  long  thoughts  and  presumably  discussions  about  how  to  proceed  with  her  plans  ,  before  she  settled  upon  throwing  the  entirety  of  fódlan  into  a  war  .  her  declaration  of  war  against  the  church  of  seiros  and  all  its  allies  was  not  a  whim  .  does  that  make  it  right  ?  no  ,  i  don’t  believe  she  was  right  for  pulling  everyone  into  that  chaos  .  but  whether  she  was  right  in  the  way  she  went  about  it  or  not  ,  she  wasn’t  entirely  wrong  either  .  the  church  wasn’t  an  innocent  party  !  edelgard  only  had  half  truths  ,  which  can  be  just  as  dangerous  as  knowing  everything  or  nothing  at  all  ,  if  not  more  .

but  that  all  being  said  ,  i  am  pulling  edelgard  from  crimson  flower  .  because  regardless  of  her  actions  ,  i  still  didn’t  feel  it  was  right  to  paint  her  solely  as  the  villain  when  she  wasn’t  the  only  one  who  made  severe  mistakes  .  we  have  seen  she  is  capable  of  expressing  guilt  and  remorse  for  her  actions  .  however  unlike  most  ,  edelgard  knows  she  cannot  waver  from  the  bloody  path  she  picked  .  it  goes  back  to  what  i  said  earlier  ,  of  her  being  resigned  to  the  fact  .  personal  feelings  needed  to  be  pushed  aside  in  matters  of  war  ,  especially  this  far  into  things  .  for  her  to  give  up  would  mean  all  this  bloodshed  was  for  nothing  .  she  couldn’t  do  that  .  not  just  for  her  own  ideals  ,  but  for  fódlan  itself  .  even  speaking  beyond  unification  under  adrestia  rule  ,  it  would  have  been  worse  for  her  to  say  ‘  okay  no  more  war  ’  without  any  resolvement  ,  and  for  things  to  ‘  go  back  to  the  way  they  were  ’  despite  that  not  being  a  logical  reality  ...  it  would  make  everything  cheap  ,  like  it  never  mattered  to  begin  with  .  no  ,  she  intended  to  see  her  plans  out  even  if  it  killed  her  .

she  dug  her  grave  and  she  was  fully  prepared  to  lie  in  it  .

in  crimson  flower  ,  she  was  lucky  to  survive  it  ,  and  i  would  call  the  war  a  pyrrhic  victory  in  any  case  .

after  byleth  abandoned  the  church  to  stay  with  her  ,  edelgard  organized  her  former  classmates  into  an  elite  task  force  that  was  known  as  the  black  eagle  strike  force  (  although  BEST  ,  black  eagle  strike  team  ,  was  right  there  …  an  opportunity  missed  ,  i  suppose  )  .  despite  all  her  efforts  ,  they  spent  the  next  five  years  locked  in  a  bitter  stalemate  with  the  kingdom  and  the  alliance  .  though  with  byleth’s  return  and  aid  ,  she  was  able  to  swiftly  conquer  the  leicester  alliance  .  instead  of  killing  her  old  friend  ,  edelgard  spared  claude  and  forced  him  to  go  into  exile  .

after  beating  back  an  attempt  by  the  church  to  retake  garreg  mach  ,  edelgard  began  military  operations  against  faerghus  in  earnest  .  she  first  conquered  arianrhod  ,  a  fortress  on  the  western  border  between  adrestia  and  faerghus  .  afterwards  ,  she  began  a  direct  march  for  fhirdiad  .  dimitri  and  rhea  moved  to  intercept  her  at  the  tailtean  plains  ,  but  rhea  was  driven  off  and  dimitri  was  slain  in  battle  *  —  an  execution  by  her  own  hands  .

the  group  finally  arrived  in  fhirdiad  ,  and  rhea  ordered  the  city  burned  to  the  ground  in  order  to  slow  them  down  and  transforms  into  her  ultimate  form  ,  the  immaculate  one  .  edelgard  ,  byleth  ,  and  the  black  eagle  strike  force  engaged  her  in  battle  .  ultimately  ,  the  empire  emerged  victorious  and  rhea  was  slain  .  with  all  of  fódlan  under  adrestia's  dominion  ,  edelgard  finally  began  the  reforms  she  always  wanted  to  bring  to  the  nobility  and  the  crest  system  ,  and  began  a  silent  war  against  those  who  slither  in  the  dark  .  *

(  *  -  basically  just  copypasta  from  her  wiki  because  i  didn’t  feel  like  rewriting  it  JDHBSFCBHDHN  )

AFTER  CASTLE  TOWN  .

the  memories  of  edelle  hjördis  are  different  .  edelgard  von  hresvelg  doesn’t  exist  ,  and  there’s  no  reason  for  edelle  to  believe  otherwise  …  right  ?

the  only  child  of  a  well-known  politician  ,  edelle  is  expected  to  follow  his  footsteps  .  and  she  did  ,  sort  of  .  it’s  on  a  smaller  scale  for  now  ,  working  as  a  code  enforcement  officer  at  city  hall  —  she  says  it’s  a  stepping  stone  ,  solidifying  groundwork  for  the  bigger  leagues  .  if  she  ever  gets  there  .  code  enforcement  isn’t  easy  in  any  capacity  ,  and  it  renders  her  particularly  busy  .

everything  is  fine  .

yet  she  can’t  help  feeling  like  there  are  missing  pieces  .  like  maybe  somewhere  ,  somehow  ,  she  has  siblings  in  some  form  .  like  a  hidden  family  that  her  father  keeps  secret  from  her  and  prying  eyes  of  public  media  .  maybe  it’s  all  loneliness  carved  from  parental  absence  .  a  scenario  created  in  her  mind  to  ease  her  from  the  gnawing  feeling  of  solitude  .  that  must  be  it  —  there’s  no  other  explanation  .

everything  is  alright  .

there’s  this  dream  that  haunts  her  so  frequently  .  perhaps  if  she  finds  a  name  to  the  face  ,  she  can  lay  him  to  rest  properly  .  there’s  an  indescribable  sorrow  that  follows  the  execution  of  this  man  ��  one  she  doesn’t  understand  ,  one  she  doesn’t  know  if  she  even  wants  to  understand  —  but  it’s  one  she  can’t  seem  to  shake  .  it’s  persistent  and  makes  its  presence  known  in  her  mind  ,  and  all  she  wants  is  for  it  to  vanish  .  farewell  ,  king  of  delusion  .  she  remembers  saying  those  words  (  was  it  truly  her  ?  )  in  this  vision  .  she  doesn’t  know  how  it  can  be  real  ,  it’s  impossible  ,  but  it’s  as  if  her  hands  were  sticky  with  metaphorical  blood  that  never  leaves  .  her  stomach  churns  in  response  if  she  thinks  too  much  of  it  ,  so  she  tries  to  ignore  it  .  it  doesn’t  easily  work  ,  but  she  has  to  try  .

she  remembers  taking  classes  at  castle  town  university  as  a  political  science  major  .  in  rare  moments  ,  she  found  herself  doodling  little  portraits  of  people  —  not  that  they  were  really  any  good  ,  or  that  she  even  showed  anyone  .  but  if  someone  looked  at  the  back  of  her  notebooks  ,  they  can  surely  find  a  badly  drawn  figure  or  two  .

she  doesn’t  know  what  this  weird  crown  is  that  she  randomly  has  ??  unbeknownst  to  her  ,  it  was  her  —  edelgard’s  —  crown  as  adrestia’s  emperor  .  she  just  …  had  it  one  day  ,  and  that  was  that  .  it’s  hidden  in  her  closet  at  home  ,  as  she’s  unsure  of  what  to  do  with  it  .  curiosity  bested  her  a  few  times  and  yes  ,  she  has  tried  it  on  for  size  .  it  fits  almost  too  perfectly  ,  like  it  was  meant  for  her  .  there’s  something  missing  .  there’s  always  something  missing  .  edelle  can  never  figure  out  what  ,  though  .

all  in  all  ,  despite  the  differences  ,  edelle  is  still  as  ambitious  and  relentless  at  achieving  her  goals  as  edelgard  was  .  only  thing  is  ,  she  doesn’t  realize  the  extent  of  it  .  stubborn  until  the  very  end  ,  edelle  can  be  described  as  a  workaholic  for  the  most  part  ,  but  there  are  peaceful  moments  where  she  takes  time  for  herself  and  those  who  manage  to  get  close  to  her  .

uh  idk  what  else  to  write  so  that’s  it  for  now  .  we’ll  see  what  happens  in  the  future  .

FUN  FACTS  .

edelle’s  birthday  is  june  22nd  ,  aka  canonly  edelgard’s  birthday  (  22nd  of  the  garland  moon  )  ,  which  makes  her  a  cancer  sun  .  as  a  cancer  rising  and  water  sign  sun  in  general  ,  myself  ,  i’m  really  not  surprised  .  this  is  kinda  self  drag  lol  but  water  signs  are  notorious  for  being  manipulative  and  knowing  when  to  use  the  cards  to  their  advantage  ,  and  that’s  exactly  what  edelgard  does  .

although  this  being  said  and  being  the  astrology  heaux  i  am  ,  if  i  had  to  assign  her  moon  +  rising  signs  ,  i  would  probably  say  capricorn  moon  (  show  a  lot  of  initiative  ,  in  it  to  win  it  .  do  not  want  to  feed  into  another’s  beliefs  about  victim-hood  .  can  excel  in  things  that  require  cold  blood  and  seriousness  .  )  and  scorpio  rising  (  likely  to  experience  life  as  a  constant  series  of  obstacles  or  crises  .  confronting  darkness  in  the  outside  world  through  facing  extreme  situations  .  others  may  find  you  somewhat  inscrutable  ,  mysterious  or  just  hard  to  read  ;  likely  to  play  your  cards  close  to  your  chest  .  )

she’s  still  5ft  2in  ..  we  love  the  shorties  in  this  house  ,  ok  !

unlike  edelgard  whose  hair  was  originally  brown  ,  edelle  always  had  her  signature  white  hair  .  although  ..  she  does  have  a  slightly  “  goddess  green  ”  tint  if  you  look  at  her  character  portraits  closely  .  personally  i  believe  it’s  due  to  her  crest  of  flames  ,  since  the  color  is  vaguely  reminiscent  of  sothis-byleth  .

the  mention  of  her  drawing  little  pictures  of  people  comes  from  the  fact  she  drew  a  portrait  of  byleth  in  crimson  flower  ,,,

nightmares  by  all  time  low  was  another  song  i  had  in  mind  for  edelgard  ,  i  won’t  even  lie  ...

[ruffolive]

i love dropping my hyperfixations on my rpg characters on my friends. yall wanna read the nonsense i wrote about my da:o character. discord messages so its all broken up

i got so emotional in my half nap bc i was thiking about. ok infodump time

[7:55 PM]

so in the thing ur casteless. basically lowest class of dwarves. ppl b starving and shit. u live w ur sister (and ur alcoholic mom who is never lucid) and r both under the thumb of this like crimelord guy

[7:55 PM]

im swtiching away from "u"

[7:55 PM]

so her sister is like pretty so she is made a prostitute and arania is not so shes basically hired muscle and goes and collects debts and shit

[7:56 PM]

arania is like a REALLY GOOD fighter and everyone knows it but doesnt aspire to anything else bc she needs to protect her sister by not acting out

[7:57 PM]

the only way for them to move up in the world is for her sister to have a boy baby with someone who is in a higher caste or for arania to like. become a legendary hero but thats not gonna happen bc the casteless are super hated

[7:58 PM]

but one day arania ends up like getting recruited into the grey wardens (elite demon-slaying group who are not affiliated w the dwarves) by some guy bc she accidentally showed off her skills. should have been executed for it but was saved by being recruited

[7:59 PM]

has to LEAVE the city underground where she has NEVER left and go miles away to go fight demons with a bunch of races shes never met before in places shes never imagined

[7:59 PM]

almost dies like 80 times. ends up w a new group of friends that she decides to protect bc that's what she knows how to do

[8:00 PM]

they go back to the dwarven city (to get allies w a treaty) and when she gets back her sister!!! has had a son with a noble!!! who loves and treats her well!!!! and will probably become king!!!!!

[8:00 PM]

and like was just imagining the immense relief that must be for her

[8:01 PM]

like everything she'd ever done was to protect her sister. yeah and to keep herself alive but she wasnt ambitious it was for her sister. and shes safe and happy and has a son---and arania has a NEPHEW

[8:01 PM]

arania i like to be an aggressive and a bit blunt, not liking to show weakness bc of how she grew up, but i think she'd definitely cry holding her nephew

[8:01 PM]

and her sister smiling and saying "thank you for everything, but im safe now, it looks like you've found new people to protect"

[8:02 PM]

and the crew (including alistair who is a very sensitive emotive family kind of guy) who are all used to me being very stony and hot-headed and strong, all see me like crying with happiness holding this kid

[8:02 PM]

mannnnn

[8:05 PM]

also just want a scene of arania trying to show the team her nephew and. its alistair who is a family kinda guy and would be GREAT w the kid. and then morrigan the swamp witch goth. definitely the baby and her just stare at each other. the baby gives her a slow nervous baby wave and she waves back just as uncomfortably. and then the baby has to be gently pried away from bi disaster flirty spanish elf man's long pretty hair

[alexanderpearce]

sonechka: 12, 30! hecate: 19, 35, 11! Mc (??): 9, 22! Midge (cute name!): 29, 42

oh Boy here we Go!!!!

Sonechka(full name Sofia Preobrazhensky also id die for her)12) How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?she’s stubborn as all Fuck but surprisingly Very Patient. in a super villain kind of way u know. she can wait forever for her Plans to be acted upon30) Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?oh You Know. she never thought she’d get that far. (as a kid she was pretty interested in it all, as a side affect of quite a Traditional™ family & family life. however this changed pretty. Quickly)

Hecate19) What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?hhhhhh uhhhhhh y'all KNOW she likes that riot grrrl stfufbdjshf. also???? all the witchy shit u can find. lauren o’connell, laura marling, loreena mckennitt. (a fave song would be the lauren o’connell cover of house of the rising sun). emilie simon, emilie autumn, also my chemical romance and mindless self indulgence, scissor sisters and THEM GREGORIAN CHANTS !!!!! 35) How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?hecate is. very grounded in reality tbh! she’s a realist (or tries to be). however, she often idealises and romanticises her situation & relationships and makes herself believe they are how she wants them to be.11) What are your OC’s hobbies?oh reading that 19th-20th century lesbian poetry & literature!!!!! also., the main plot of the Thing……………… discovering & learning about & harnessing The Magic (and being manipulated by it…. shhh). she also makes clothes!!

MC (she doesn’t have a name yet so she’s just MC bc main character hfdjkdsh)9) Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC?ripppp i know Jackshit abt her looks etc, I’ve only really worked on developing her personality and actions22) What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?W E L L. WELL. this story just so happens to be set in a high school (or school in general???? haven’t. figured it out yet. boarding school of some type for Sure) and mc just so happens to be the kind of student who FULLY immerses herself in texts and does extra reading outside of school and wants to learn everything and murders a close friend & fellow student !!!!!! just your casual normal elite private school stuff you know!!!

Midge (ty omg!!!!)29) If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?uhhh probably a rimbaud quote??? what a nerd. possibly edgar allen poe. maybe this one from rimbaud: 

À l'aurore, armés d'une ardente patience, nous entrerons aux splendides Villes. (In the dawn, armed with a burning patience, we shall enter the splendid cities.)

42) Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? mmmm.. well bc of ill fitting glasses (that he won’t get rid of! grow up) there r little indents on his nose that’ll never Really fade. one long one down his left calf from blackberry picking gone Wrong, and he doesn’t have the middle finger on his right hand (hand was crushed in a car door when he was little, and the middle one was so badly damaged it had to be amputated)

TY SO MUCH FOR QUESTIONS THESE WERE RLY USEFUL!!!

[lyncttes-blog]

MEMBER ✧ ☾ ✧｡ * ( JADE THIRLWALL ) —- hey… is that ( LYNETTE BATRAWI ) ? it has to be. i haven’t talked to her very much, but i’m pretty sure she is a ( REGULAR ) here at night. wait, before you go over there, you should know that she is pretty ( OPTIMISTIC + INSPIRING ) but also kind of ( MANIPULATIVE + CALCULATING ), and that ( SHE IS IN AN ARRANGED ENGAGEMENT ). anyways, i gotta get going – see you around !

hi cuties! i’m late luna, i’m 24, she/her pronouns, hailing from the elusive cst slot. this post is going to be extra as fuck, idk why i’m always like this. this is so lazy of me but honestly... almost everything you could need to know about lynette was in my application? so i’m just gonna... leave that all here... like a bio... ja;lsfj anyways i’ll also link you to her musings tag and headcanons page. i have a handful of plot ideas i could get lynette into around here, so if you’d like to plot please shoot me a message; i’d love to plot with every single one of you! x

lynette batrawi is like my blair waldorf & serena van der woodsen hybrid. she has the discipline and attitude of blair with the vigor and recklessness of serena. she’s lived in the upper east side of manhattan her whole life as an only child to her father, a big-time lawyer, and her mother, a social elitist. i imagine her upbringing to be a lot like allie from the notebook, learning every skill in the book from piano to french and everything in between. she’s been raised her whole life to follow in her mother’s footsteps in joining the social elites of the upper east side, a lot like blair in gossip girl. she does a lot of work for her mother such as event planning, mingling with potential business clients for her father at army galas, interviewing for new york’s most upscale social clubs. under her parents’ watch, she’s expected to be akin to a royal in the public eye. it’s very important to them that lynette is only seen spending time with people of equal social status and wealth. what they don’t know is that when she’s not under their watch, lynette is everything they despise. she wears clothes her parents would lock her up for wearing, she goes to grungy underground clubs, campus frat parties at schools around the city, parties and hooks up with guys and girls her parents would never approve of. she wants to have fun, she rebels, she has no problem making friends/relationships with people her parents would never approve of. class and wealth doesn’t mean a thing to her when she’s on her own.

in this rp, i see the night club being lynette’s complete escape from the massive pressures her every day life sets on her, as it probably is for most people. she doesn’t care who she meets there, she wants to meet and mingle with anyone and everyone. the place is like ecstasy to her. she loves the thrill of being somewhere her parents will never find, and the idea of meeting people from all walks of life and immersing herself in their lives to take a break from her own--she’s very much an escapist in that way.

it should be known that lynette is in an arranged engagement with alex moore, the louis tomlinson fc. they absolutely despise each other, though. lynette was caught partying once and her punishment was to enter this engagement to end up sealing a business deal with alex’s parents, and as for alex’s side, well--he just needs to get his act together. so the arrangement was made. lynette has no feelings for him whatsoever. they hooked up once at a party long before the arrangement, and that was it. her only intention is to convince the public of their love long enough to bag the deal from alex’s parents and then be done with it. this plot is worth mentioning bc i can see it adding to a lot of other drama between characters, like lynette possibly falling for someone she meets at the club and having to sneak around with people in secret, affecting other peoples’ relationships, etc.

i’m excited for all the different connection potentials i could have for her. a best friend, an evil partner in crime, enemies, secret hook-ups, crushes, fellow socialites, etc. she lives and breathes drama, the possibilities for her in this group will be endless and i’m so excited to see what comes her way.

personality-wise, it makes complete sense that lynette is a gemini. she can be two totally different people and turn it on or off whenever she wants to. in public, she’s snobby, selective, and pristine. if she made a friend at the club who doesn’t share the same amount of wealth as her and ran into them in the street, she would have no choice but to pretend she didn’t even know the person, wouldn’t even bat an eye in their direction--but then send them a text later apologizing. she can be ruthless much in the way blair waldorf is. she’s that girl who knows everything about everyone and will find a way to get revenge on anyone who crosses her. she makes shit happen for herself and gets what she wants. that’s just the type of person she has to be to make it in the cutthroat social word she’s been raised in. on the other hand, when she’s not putting up this big front, lynette is a ball of fun. she’s a friend to all when she doesn’t have to hide. she loves to party, have a good time, and just feel normal for once. anyone who isn’t afraid to take chances is really cool with her. she’s a fierce and loyal friend to the people closest to her--cross her or any of her friends, and there will be consequences.

some lil hcs about lynette: her aesthetics are rose gold, silk robes, sparkling dresses, roses in the bathoom while she soaks a hot bubble bath, champagne. she loves everything 90′s! music, movies, fashion--she will talk your ear off about it if you share that interest with her. she is rather talented at piano but her favorite hobby ever is horseback riding. her family owns a place in the hamptons and she has her own horses there that she’s been riding since she was little. she’s very good at it and besides the club, is her favorite stress-reliever. when she’s drunk, she is the most fun person in the world. she’s almost unrecognizable to those who only know her as snobby, rich lynette.

[eggzy]

look I want a mumu where one of my characters has seen monsters all their life. like LITERALLY monsters that are unseen by humans in our world. and she’s always just sorta hid from them or pretended not to see them even as the creatures ran amuck and destroyed shit and caused damage. and in comes a family of monster hunters who kill and capture these things to keep them from causing more harm. and they teach mine how to fight even though she’s super awful at it and clumsy, constantly causing trouble. and maybe through an accident of mine, something really big happens and everyone has to work together to fix it? but like by appearances alone, they seem to be a wealthy, elite family that society/media adores to hate/comment on. lmao like the kardashians but like they turn out to be monster hunters

under the cut are the characters/faces in the mumu I’d be interested in playing.

IVAN BISHOP | janis ancens | 22-26 years old

his family has had money for decades bc they’ve always managed to deal with corrupt government officials and whatnot. the bishop family make profit off war/violence bc they sell weapons!! they tend to sell to both sides of wars, even if in secret!! plus, they deal with monster/creature hunters!!! bishop is a name known around the world for many things.

um he’s a perfectionist. has to be the best at everything. everything. he was head boy in the private boarding school he attended, president of whatever fraternity that rich young men like him get into the kind with bad hazing and shit, was president of his university’s SGA, has perfect grades and a perfect record!!! he strives to be the best and ambition has taken him far. he doesn’t just rely on his family but the name does open A LOT of doors for him

he’s very stoic but can charm the pants off people!! but he’s very manipulative in this, can often get people to do what he wants. he once had his whole fraternity turn against this kid on campus who was running against him for SGA… he’s got a real cruel streak. hope you never see it. ://

he’s like ALLLLMOST greysexual but he still likes the act of sex from time to time. its hard to catch him with his guard down. doesn’t have a good relationship with either of his parents. mother cheats while away at one of their many beach condos. father is absent, busy with work && hunting. he’s good at gaslighting ivan so, as you can imagine, the boy has some real daddy issues. 

he has younger brother and sister who are twins!! his mother is a BICTH!!! she is not nice. not pleasant in the slightest!! but she’s really really good at hunting! maybe a witch??? haven’t decided where I want that to go lol

MALLORY LEWIS | nicola peltz | 21-23 years old

so mal is an only child and her young parents were very excited to have a girl, especially her mother. she was pretty much a tiny doll in her mother’s eyes. she was an only child and the woman saw her daughter as something to dress up and parade around rather than really take care of. so, unsurprisingly, she’s been to a decent amount of pageants, a few Ws under her belt, in fact.

her parents got divorced when she was three! the highschool sweethearts didn’t last but five years! and so she was never really close with her father because her mother monopolized her time. she grew pretty resentful towards him as she got older because of their lack of time together and because he never really tried to see her or get her away from her mother. after a while, her father didn’t even try  to stay in touch. he helped a bit with expenses for a time but once he was remarried, there was no hearing from him.

mal was primarily raised by her mother who jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and husband to husband!! when she was especially young, there were a lot of boundary lines that were blurred between her and her mother. she slept in bed with her until she was nine, she wouldn’t ever be far from her. her mother would get them matching outfits and she’d always do mal’s hair, make sure she was perfect, and she had to be exactly the way that her mother wanted her to be. no questions.

so being left alone with her mother and being groomed by her mother alone, she kind of became a mini version of her!! she didn’t care about anything other than getting what she wanted. men were tools. they were just bank accounts and pretty things to surround herself with. if she wanted it, she could get it – she knew what her appearance did to others, men especially. ever so manipulative, she has her own harem of men, ages all varying from twenties to sixties, that she spends her time with. she’s easily a homewrecker to a handful of relationships out there.

she relies on some of her daddies forreal though because between them and hustling, she can only resort to criminal acts to support herself! 

the monsters she seen all her life!! she used to be very vocal about it but her mom put her in a institution one summer when she was 13 which really traumatized her so she does NOT talk about the shit she sees! NOT CRAZY!!

IVAN && MAL

they are dating... FAKE dating TBH. they do not get along but they’re both learning things from each other. she’s often trying to sabotage him or create chaos in his life which he HATES. bc he’s very persnickety and loves tidiness!! he’s way harder for her to manipulate and control but she still tries and tries again!

WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR:

maybe like more family members? mother/father... sister/brother??? rival family?? maybe some kind of sentient monster???? or like friends of either mal or ivan??

platonic to romantic relationships! but most likely platonic bc I think I’ll have mal/Ivan endgame! unless!! you convince me otherwise lol

a partner that can put up with me and my work/lazy schedule! I’ve been dying to write and rps are just dwindling around here so they’re just not gonna cut it... but I’m determined to have this plot because I NEEEED the creative outlet.

[circumswoop]

Is the Interregnum a Grave?

Peaceful transfers of power are boring by definition. Unfortunately, we’ve never had another kind, until now. Inaugurals and counter-inaugurals always bypassed each other without incident, unless you consider the occasional riff of pepper spray incidental. As it’s usually one group of recidivists handing off to another, how could such a transfer ever be peaceless?

Presidents and their wives, always to the manner either born or raised, hang out with each other during inaugurals, incoming and outgoing. There will be four former presidents at the Trump ceremony, five if George HW Bush plans a surprise skydive. (He could drop in a wheelchair held softly aloft by baby blue balloons, and then be rolled jovially away by security.) This is the licensure of the always-in-power, the ability to feel camaraderie with your replacement, whether or not he (it is always he) humiliated you in public. It’s the most exclusive club in the world, with provided airspace both preferred and elite. There are no cucks in tuxes. Meanwhile, there are presidents-elect yet to be born, and it is not too late to abort them all.

Obviously, one of the five living ex-presidents, and one of the four to attend, will be Barack Obama, whose election eight years ago settled a lowkey war between MySpace and Facebook, or so we thought: look which one is still here, being awful. Obama’s ascent overlapping with the descent of Top 8 culture is probably just me, but I remember the two months between Election and Inauguration Days presenting as forever young, not instantly iconic but worse: instantly idyllic. I’m not gonna tell you how old I was then, but I had a Martine Rose haircut. I was always drunk on one of two things, cheap vodka or soft white power. Still in the running-around phase of my learned liberalism, I anticipated the Obama presidency with a kind of guileless nightvision, blowing out my spectral range. I knew he was already top five presidents, easy, let alone top 8.

Sooner than you can say “drone strike”, that presidency is over and I’m sitting here with a buzzcut that I fear is trendy, reading about the Xiang River Storm and the Red Army Faction, trying not to treat radicalization as merely a way to get through whatever this is, this diastema between waiting to die and waiting to be brought back to life. Maybe that one Netflix series that looks like either a deep FKA Twigs video or a vintage HBA show really did nail what’s going on in the country, this sense of loitering in an unmade bed while outside the air turns green with breathed disgust.

[Stent]

The word “interregnum”, in the aggregate, means pause, interval, suspension--or in one iteration, the distance between discovery and detailed understanding. In the original English version (always worth checking out!), that distance was 11 years between the execution of Charles I and the accession of his son Charles II. In U.S. presidential politics, it was about 70 days before this year, when a majority of everyone freaked out, flatlined, did some modern Movements to try to enter another dimension and then, failing, collapsed into circular contemplations of self-harm. 70 days? More like 70 times 7, which is either the number of times Jesus told his entourage to forgive up to, or the number of “counter-terrorism” strikes the Obama administration(s) authorized in Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia, and Libya. I forget which!

What even is a peaceful transfer of power when the best we probably ever had soothed us partially by making his murder softcore? (My friend made a joke once about Klaus Kinski sounding like a really good cotton candy flavor—it’s like that but in reverse.) Where is the virtue in a proportional scale of human rights? Is it a redundancy covered by the most perennial of all insurances? During downtime, where do our hearts beat? Where is the sound? Will we live? Is life even a quality worth having?

[Stent]

Sometimes, when I drink too much, I pass out but am aided back to consciousness, in little rivulets, by concussive symptoms of withdrawal. Half melodic/half thrash, I moan and writhe. It sounds pretty but it’s not, because all that’s happening is I’m waiting to throw up. I guess I feel like I’m about to throw up, only for four whole years. Don’t even talk to me about eight.

I believe Obama is not a good man but possesses goodness, and I guess I feel bad writing that out loud despite stanning for him the entire time in loyal opposition to his record. Now he’s being replaced by his absolute antithesis, in optics and in credentials, a man who may not be wholly evil but who possesses evil, who puts on its underthings late at night and capers ghoulishly in the mirror; who will sneak into your room and place his hand squarely in the middle of your pillow to see if it’s warm. I truly believe the evil Trump possesses is not despotic but the petty, flesh-crawling kind that smells of talc and sewer, the desperate grasp of the night sweat. For all his fame and millions legit or forged, he sure is resentful.

This principle of possession preoccupies me way more than any argument abt what he’ll do or won’t do. I don’t think even he knows, because his particular evil seeps and blocks alternately. The incredible contradictions of Obamawere his possessions, or weights if you will—he always seemed genuinely capable of empathy while slaughtering innocents all the livelong day. He neither delivered himself from the crypto-corporate Medici who made him nor ever once laid off the deport button, yet in his healthcare and LGBQT approvals he probably freed more slaves than anyone since FDR or Lincoln, the two socialist presidents. Obama always knew what he was doing, whether those acts were faithful or egregious. Trump’s maniacally nonlinear behavior cinches at least one truth about him: that he knows not what he does. His evil is tinnitus-like, and has too many mixed messages to adequately receive. All he hears, understands, and emits is noise.

[Stent]

So we are left with the vape trail of a president who was “good for a neoliberal”, an introspective, Marilynne Robinson-loving father figure, inspo for dreamers trying to turn into dream leaders, kids growing old with blogging histories and classroom allergies who consented to his sway and cadence as proof of love, even if it was denatured or abusive. Nobody ever sold the lie of liberalism better than Obama, bc the way being lied to feels spinily, spinnily good as long as everyone’s a little bit in on it never felt so good.

One of the great belletristic disputes of the 1990s, albeit a passive-aggressive one, was between Andrew Sullivan and Tony Kushner on purposes of politics: shd politics relieve anxiety (Sullivan) or misery and injustice (Kushner)? How you answer outs you as either a liberal or a leftist, but if your arrival at the right answer took eight years then maybe Obama is to blame. Maybe the center-left is an industry of death, of lullaby and stalling and overprescription.

[Stent]

Leo Bersani’s essay “Is the Rectum a Grave” is a model of sacred rage, as opposed to average anger. Published in October 1987 at the peak, or nadir, of the AIDS crisis, it quotes MacKinnon, Dworkin, and Foucault and documents a society “that at once celebrates and punishes pluralism”, one that has “no political need to save or protect any homosexuals at all” and that is given a finishing sadistic edge by the family in Arcadia, Florida who set fire to a house wherein three hemophiliac children were believed to be infected with HIV. Bersani argues that anti-loving and hatred are synchronous, but more often the latter hides its head in the former. He also begins the essay with the funniest lede ever, defiantly unburied: “There is a big secret about sex: most people don’t like it.”

I believe the Trump presidency is already the greatest moral crisis in America since AIDS. No reflection on the Cold War and spies slipping in and out of closets or consciousness would be complete without a contagion—one to which, in Bersani’s words, the only necessary response is rage (not anger). Wraiths of the Weimar working class would not provide a better remonstration for Trumpism than the bags of bones the Reagan administration(s) put out with the trash. Reagan and Trump are compared almost as often as Trump and Hitler, but not often enough—a new eighties is more likely than a new thirties simply because the eighties were the most American decade, and the thirties were conducted in a Europe that blew its own head off rather than look in the mirror ever again. 

Trump tweeting a picture of his handshakes with Ronald and Nancy was way more of a message than his tweeting days later about Nazi Germany—the Trump family, for all their leopard-killing, vacuity-shilling horrors, are decadent directly from the Me Decade. Trump the paterfamilias has lived in the American imagination since at least Marla Maples went in the New York Post in 1990 and said sex with Trump was the best she ever had. Others reference the 1979 Wayne Barrett cover feature for the Voice as prequel to a decade. 

Either way, by the time he gave Kevin McAllister directions to the lobby in his, Trump’s, own hotel in Home Alone 2 (1992) the deal was closed: Trump was the first name that came up when anyone talked about riches. America and its imagination will never get over the 1980s, and if there’s any shrewd or non-shriveled wisdom that can be gained from Trump’s senescent rise it should be that America has still never really gotten over AIDS. Fascism feared by anyone with a pulse, let alone one that’s only intelligible in their left wrist, is better detected in viral terms. It can only by stopped by a contagion mentality, by the kinds of education and mobilization the social agents of AIDS provided and to some extent pioneered. Bersani named, as its essential crisis of care, “the general tendency to think of AIDS as an epidemic of the future rather than a catastrophe of the present”. All you have to do to diagnose whatever age we’re in is find/replace AIDS with Fascism. There is a big secret abt power: everyone likes it.