#imagine if god adopted you
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Freminet is fantasy pagan and worships the Sovereigns and y'all can tear that from my cold dead hands. I mean it I'm not letting this go it brings me SO MUCH joy. It's so fucking funny too in the fic's context.
#yes I'm writing this into my wriolette fic that Freminet is in#bc no one can stop me#okay maybe I'm just a witchy guy who wants Freminet to be the local tired pagan getting asked shit he doesn't know bc I think it's funny#also bc imagine if you worked with an ancient deity and they just showed up flesh and blood one day#genshin impact#genshin#genshin headcanons#genshin shitpost#fanfic#fanfiction#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfic#genshin impact fanfiction#I still don't know how the hell to tag genshin posts#OH AND ITS FUNNIER WHEN YOU REALIZE I HC NEUVI AND FREMINET AS A BIT OF A FATHER SON DUO#imagine if god adopted you
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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Okay so I've been thinking about @nonbinarylocalcryptid Astyanax lived/daddy odysseus au. Which is some good shit in general. Yall should check it out. But specifically I'm think about what it would be like for this child to grow up on calypso's island. He would have been what ? 3-10 there??
#The odyssey#Odysseus#Astyanax#daddy odysseus au#@nonbinarylocalcryptid's au#Obvious this kid has nothing but trauma all day every day#It is the odyssey#And the whole adopted dad killed my whole family sacked my city thing#And his only role model is odysseus and various monsters#So I imagine he's a very bitter sassy child who hates the gods#But I also think it would be a very hard way to grow up#Watching your only contention to the world even if he did kill everyone else being dragged away from you every night#Finding him every morning sobbing on the beach#Idk man I'm just having a lot of feelings about Astyanax feeling bitter and helpless#And for years not knowing what was going on#Maybe calypso even used him in the early years made him apart of her schemes#And then having a realization of what's going on when he's around 9/10#I'm imagining he and odysseus had a convo about his orgins when he was 7/8#So basically everybody's having a bad time
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cursor selkie sc (due to some unlikely plot contrivance) in god with a bag of groceries au would be so funny...bystanders watching god pass by with a bag of groceries, followed by tiny god with a packet of cookies. adorable.
ANON... YOUR MIND..........
#tommy's foolery#selkie sticks au#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#pitch's art#i can only imagine what bystanders must be thinking. just. big scary cursor followed by the littlest of guys#i imagine that knowledge that humans aren't just cursors isn't too common#(or at least not something the average stick who hasn't looked into would know)#so it's confusing but weirdly cute?#any stick who knows that humans aren't just cursors though would be like '??????????????? THE FUCK?!?'#i think they'd only visit the outernet if they had the CG with them tho#it's really funny to imagine the CG sneaking onto a computer in hopes of getting to a safe place‚ making friends with SC#and then refusing to leave when alan tries to shoo them out#sorry sir. your child adopted these random kids as their siblings#god. that only makes it funnier because chosen wouldn't see him in the outernet until he's already adopted everyone#chosen follows him to the desktop and a bunch of kids pop out and hug him#as well as this tiny little cursor who is just. munching(?) on a cookie#just. What The Fuck#furthermore when you ask them if he's been mean to them at all they go '? no he's our dad'#and the cursor proceeds to squeak in mortification (they can do that?) and grab whoever said that and begin (gently) shaking them#because DON'T CALL HIM THAT HE'S NOT YOUR DAD........ STOP THAT#the cg all think alan reacting like this is very funny even though chosen is extremely concerned#anyway SORRY this is just so funny to me. thank you anon for blasting me with this image
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Julian, suddenly realizing how much chaos he's been spared
HHWHAUAIGUHFH

Garaks just been thinking about betazoid-cardassian hybrids for ten seconds but now he wants to see it so badly it physically hurts
#julians entire life is FLASHING before his eyes#the thousand yard gaze of existential dread#THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD…#dee s 9#garashir adoption au#thank you for a beautiful bashir bounty I love him#like iskras actual partner is fine we like her with Modern Medicine they could produce a consanguineous child if they wanted#but like everyone knows what a klingassian looks like. There are thousands running around after the war#but betazassians? uncharted territory!! Imagine the possibilities!
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Imagine swapping book!Geronimo and show!Geronimo's places..
THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES
#geronimo stilton#imagine the interactions..#book characters would go: Geronimo? why aren't you wearing your glasses?? wait why are you louder than before-#some characters in the books dont exist in the show so this will throw book!Geronimo in a loop and vice versa#and then show!Geronimo would go who? huh?? who is OOK? WHO IS THAT? Huh??? wait who are you? Petunia..? Huh??#god imagine show!Thea hearing how her other self acts towards book!Geronimo..#would the show characters adopt book!Geronimo? ADOPTING TWO GERONIMO IT IS THEN-#oh shit- book!Trap is never gonna survive show!Geronimo if he ever tries to mess with him#bird rambles
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The funniest thing is that Borzoi puppies look mostly normal.

And then they turn into Borzois when you aren't looking.

#text#borzois#i am fascinated with them#would get one if i ever wanted a dog#im not convinced they are real#imagine adopting a lost puppy or something#and it just grows into a borzoi#first off that would be very cool#but if you didnt know this breed existsd it would be like oh my god what is happening to my dog
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Me, yesterday: Yeah I’m gonna draw out a family tree and pick names for Jia’s family bc if we’re gonna develop the storyline of Aiza moving in with them it will be useful. Just names though, nothing more
Me, not even 24 hours later: I have BACKSTORIES I have PERSONALITIES I’m going to BUILD A HOUSE IN THE SIMS FOR THEM
#genuinely. send help#you know. last year we officially doubled our OC count. went from 24 to 48#and when I found that out I went ‘oh haha imagine if we could double it next year too’#AND I MEANT THAT AS A JOKE#A. JOKE.#but apparently I should have learned by now that there’s no such thing as jokes in this multiverse#so um. yeah. guess who has 24 new OCs now#seriously. it took. originally. 9 years to create the first 24#then one year to create the next 24#and this 24? a day. a fucking day#good fucking god#I’m gonna hold off on adding them to the official OC roster until they’re fully developed but still#fucking hell#I’m hoping we’ll tackle Midori’s adoptive kids soon which will leave us with only 21 OCs needed to double the number#and I genuinely think it’s possible to pull it off#but let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet#let’s take it one multiverse branch at a time. okay?#for the record. I’m not complaining#I feel like more OCs make the world itself feel more alive. characters having families makes them more than cardboard cutouts-#-who randomly soawned into existence. I’m happy with this development#just.. a bit shocked. that’s all#now excuse me. I have to go figure out how to fit 25 people into one house#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness
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high rn and thinking. hey man why was a rat w four turtles in the sewer. why ninjitsu.
#tmnt mutant mayhem#tottmnt#just thinking like why were there four turtles what is shredders motivation yk#did splinter decide to just lie and say he was always a rat. was he ever yoshi#if so and he lied that’s HYSTERICAL why are you married to a bug#but also it’s probably like shredder works for tcri or wtvr#but imagine how funny if he LIED#every time a back story isn’t rock solid I think of that tumblr post that’s like#my gf thinks shrek lied abt his name bc he hesitated and when I first watched the movie#idr what it was but smth in his story just made me go ???#so now I’m praying desperately that splinter lied and was actually a human#and he was like 2012 splinter and was adopting the turtles and that’s how they all ended up in the sewer#god idk I just need more silly splinter. I miss rise :(
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No because nothing makes me crazy like characters w negative dog symbolism. Especially when I can do something w them and L.L. . Like Midori who I still want to make this piece w a line from the movie. Literally insane.
#luly talks#also eddie. i was thinking of eddie. i want to draw Eddie pointing L.L. with his gun#i love Eddie. platonically. but its so funny. dog killed vs dog...#god. can you imagine the shit L.L. would be seeing in silent hill. i dont. what would they be seeing LMAO#THEIR MOM??? I GUESS???#the Rorschach test is easy they just show you pics of your mom being eaten by a horse...#anyway as for midori it pulls a lot from my au thing bc L.L. has tried to kill themselves twice since adopting Midori like that girl just#can't catch a break. they need to kill L.L. themselves.#their drawing would be from the line about meat like this not being found anywhere that the acrobat said after killing her dogs#and it'd be them sitting at a table fork and knife and in the plate implied to be L.L.'s corpse#i have had this idea since forever will draw it eventually
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it's all fun and games typing up a silly, rickety little au idea in the tags of someone else's post and then suddenly you find yourself expanding on the world-building and plotting out interconnected stories for characters you swore would only make background appearances and your brain is On Fire with the need to write even when you know you can't commit to yet another doomed wip
#the terror#this is 100% about the fucking hartving tech!averse jirv/librarian!hartnell au from yesterday bc IT WON'T LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE#thinking about a ficlet detailing how bridlgar met#peggles is a delivery driver who does the rounds dropping off the library's stationary orders and john's the one in charge of receiving#and they strike up a friendship over terrible stationary puns and eventually start dating when john introduces harry to classic lit#thinking even more about a joplittle sequel where after ned shows up soaking wet the first time and is immediately smitten#by thomas “Just Being A Decent Person” jopson; he starts volunteering at the library just so he can get closer to jops#(like the loser he is; bc why ask someone out directly when you can just hang around in their orbit and hope they notice you noticing them)#but the more time he spends at the library the more he comes to love it; and ends up volunteering to read to children on his free weekends#(my tumblr homies know exactly where i'm headed with this bc i am so transparent my mom might as well have called me “window”)#and jops; despite his better instincts; gets so turned on after hearing ned do voice impressions for fictional crayons while reading to#a bunch of enraptured rugrats that he decides then and there he absolutely can't NOT fuck ned senseless the second he gets his hands on him#meanwhile for the main fic; jirv and tartnell are both absolutely disgustingly in love but are also completely clueless#as to how to go about expressing interest in each other bc while i imagine jirv not being as repressed in this as he normally is in fanon;#he still hasn't actually figured out he's Big Time Gay™ yet and#tartnell on the other hand is both extremely attracted to and intimidated by the handsome; aloof yet kind; bible-quoting scotsman#who's decided to adopt him as his personal apple support technician#despite the fact that tartnell knows little more about iphones than jirv (seeing as he's been using android since smartphones took off)#god i'm in so deep about this stupid little au i've dreamed up that i just want to yell about it for hours on end#and despite knowing i'll likely NEVER get around to writing it; it is just... taking up Brain Space... that i already Do Not Have
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jun wu monroe. very nice king of heaven. no murder at all
#for ante... their favorite guy...#i know like 2 whole things about james monroe but i know he was the 4th jonas brother of the founding father#NO glory NO great skills or intellect#im imagining like... horrible incel self esteem issues#he tried so hard to save his people and failed. so now whenever he sees someone trying to do the same#he 'saves them from themselves' (read: keep them from succeeding where he failed because otherwise hed be forced to recognize that he just#wasnt good enough to do it himself)#VERY GOOD IDEAS COOKIN...#seen as very proper. a little stiff. but gentlemanly and gallant and of course the most OP god of the heavenly realm#famously vanquished white iron several times... etc etc etc...#has a habit of scooping up gods and adopting them as his sons. many such cases (at least 2)(3 if you count hayne as his stepson)#sword of virginity reveals etc etc...#tcgf au#anyways I tried to channel his butt chin and vacant blue eyes and sort of forgot to add in the 19th century sauce#lost in the xanxia sauce as it were
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You know what's a scenario I need? Priscilla introducing Anastasia as her girlfriend to Vincent and Arakiya. The sibling-in-law dynamics would be great.
Hear me out.
I think Vincent would be quick to accept Ana into the family. He can see Ana is a skilled woman, so he'd respect her. Maybe there'd be a bit of wariness from him, because that's how he is, but even so, he knows Priscilla is smart, and if his little sister chose Ana, then surely he can trust her. Ana could take a liking to him as well; she'd definitely have fun teasing him. Plus, Ana calling Vincent "our brother" when talking to Priscilla would be cute.
As for Arakiya, perhaps she'd initially be a bit jealous of Ana. I think Ana would make attempts to approach Arakiya nonetheless, and even though Arakiya isn't very talkative, Ana, thanks to her natural skill with words, could find a way to interact with Arakiya that doesn't make the latter uncomfortable. And, feeling validated by this and also impressed by Ana's finesse overall, Arakiya could warm up to her.
(Sending this to you because I've proclaimed you CEO of PriAna)
you have no idea how much I squealed reading this AAAAAA (ily <3 prisana my beloveds)
Pris is almost definitely the type to brag about having a partner, if not to goad others and observe their reaction. I can see her using her relationship with Ana to torment an emotionally repressed Vincent whos still trying to beat all the thoughts of Chisha. Like “you couldnt kill me and you couldnt even beat me at getting into a relationship. and youre the emperor? lol. Lmao even.”
And 10000% I think you hit the nail on the head with Vincent in that he’d be wary, probably coming up with a bunch of escape plans for Pris if she somehow gets on the wrong side of the Iron Fang (or if he knew about Ana’s connection to Halibel), but would eventually warm up as she’s got that easygoing, business mentality that he can respect. I think he’d find it just as entertaining as Pris does when Ana backtalks them and slyly insults them.
Ana calling Vincent “our brother”,,,, thats so precious omg. Pris mocking her habits of collecting people and being a conniving fox while Ana’s like “I’m a greedy gal, course I’d monopolise my future wife’s family too. I aint exactly got one of my own.” and one hit KOing Pris.
god speaking of foxes I gotta wonder just how funny it’d be to Ana that Pris’ mother is a fox demihuman. Like theyre both fox women in a certain sense, even if Pris dismisses her whenever its brought up.
Arakiya is a difficult one because (at least current canon anya) shes very, very obsessed with Pris. That whole line of her being willing to dismember Pris just to keep her on the throne haunts me. So I imagine if she found out about Ana, she’d be furious at first. Pris has picked someone weak who cant protect her (abandoned Arakiya when she couldnt do the same, one of her biggest regrets) and Pris has actively picked someone as far removed from Vollachia as they come.
But I do think with time and character development, Arakiya would soften up a lot. Ana can’t protect her directly in the way Arakiya wants, but she has dozens of people capable of doing so for her. She’s good at negotiating, and eventually I imagine Arakiya will have to contend with the fact Pris is strong enough on her own. It’d take a long time for Arakiya to acknowledge Ana as worthy for the Princess, but I like to imagine her and Cecilus going to Kararagi for (his) clothes shopping and Ana tagging along to get to know Anya better.
Oh, oh and I cant forget how juicy the whole “Ana is on borrowed time” thing would be as a reveal to her inlaws. Pre them getting along I can see it be a huge reason for Vincent and Arakiya to oppose the relationship on account of their protectiveness of Pris. But after theyve got positive opinions of Ana? It’d be devastating. Poor Vincent reliving what happened with Chisha, expecting the reveal to crush Pris, while Pris insists on her world working in her favour mindset. Arakiya remembering Prisca’s reaction years back would cause her to really, really panic. She’s just gotten the princess back—would her partners untimely death break her worldview once more, or is there anything Arakiya can do to finally make it up to her?
THIS IS SUPER LONG IM SO SORRY to non prisana people but. I have so many thoughts about these two,,,
#ask#rezero#priscilla barielle#anastasia hoshin#anapris#This ask will live rent free in my brain for the next lifetime thank you#God. The comedy. The angst potential#Both of them trying to crack each others persona at the dinner table#Vincent wishing he had died but for a wholly different reason to canon#ALSO the inner camp drama is so good#anya being adopted by ricardo#mimi and vincent interactions. can you imagine
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most adult muses i have who interact with younger muses: adopts adopts adopts—
timmy with younger muses: gets adopted
#ミ★ « ooc »#literally the diCHOTOMY tho it kills me#he is NOT EQUIPPED to babysit ANYONE ok#he can't even take care of himself much less another living thing#but a child/teen taking care of HIM ??? much more likely#yes hi becky i'm looking specifically at itsuki AWNJGOHNAOGJ waves lovingly <3#i just can't with this man :| every other adult muse i have it's like#a no-brainer; they will find some kids to adopt and mentor whether it's good or bad for the kid#timmy ??? gOD no jfc can you fckn imagine
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She's everything to me
favorite character from any media BUT it has to be a woman. in the tags now go (pls talk to me about your favorite fictional women pls pls pls pls)
#Okay let me tell you about my girl Opal Beifong#she was born a nonbender to one of the most renown bender families#her mother adopted a talented bender when she was like 4#IMAGINE the inferiority complex#IMAGINE the self loathing#and then she gets airbending and the game changes!#she gets to travel the world- something she's always wanted to do#and then that BITCH of an adopted sister forms a militia and takes over the kingdom!#even worse- Opal's brother and her boyfriend are in on this too#good god i could ramble about her for days#opal beifong#she's so strong willed and she's so CLEARLY a Beifong despite becoming an airbender#but her journey is of gaining indivialism and coming into herself#her hair getting more messy and falling out of its styled bob ahhhg#like YES GIRL BREAK OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S RIGID HOME#FIND YOUR PLACE IN THE WORLD YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE#*rolling around on the floor*#her loyalty to her familyyyy#her constant feud with kuvira#her blatant disregard for the oath of pacifism
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.
#actually not done with hadestown because also in the original version you hear Hermes blowing air after coming back with his ‘a’ight’ after#Orpheus looks and I’ve not seen it but I always imagine him blowing Eurydice back tot he underworld because he has to this is the way the#story goes and even though he doesn’t want it to end this way it has to and he has to fucking make it end this way#and I genuinely cannot remember if this makes it to the broadway version but then we have Hermes’ breath clearing the scene to be reset#to go back to the beginning and he’s taking about signing the song again even though he knows how it ends and ugh and yeah yeah it’s the#human experience to keep going despite failures and to hope that it works out this time and hope is a difficult habit to break whatever#but even the gods aren’t free of the fucking tragedy and then and THEN he has to be the one to tell Eurydice that she can trust Orpheus that#he’s not like other men and then he isssss he isssssssss he leaves her alone in the wind (because of course he does he has a SONG to write#and that’s more important than the woman you allegedly love…I have neutral opinions about that…clearly) and so Eurydice goes to hadestown#and another difference with the original is that she sees he’s full of shit in the first chant not in hey little songbird she’s already done#and then hades is like ‘hey - heard your man ain’t shit’ and sure he deceives her but he’s hades and if bitch ass Orpheus gets a pass so#should he so Hermes promises Eurydice that Orpheus is different. that she’ll be safe. that he’ll make her feel alive and thennnnn it’s not#funny but it’s hilarious so imagine having to do that again and again and again and my head canon is that Hermes knows. he knows that theyve#done this before but hope is an impossible habit to break and so he genuinely hopes that this time it’ll work this time Orpheus will stand#in the wind with Eurydice or listen to Hermes or not look back but of course he won’t. he’s Orpheus. he’s got a song to give to the world#and Eurydice is just his muse (and I LOVE the line ‘you’ll find another muse somewhere’…I might hate Orpheus like the oroginal peformer idk#his name unfortunately and Reeve are amazing it’s the character) so it doesn’t matter that she dies over and over and in some ways Hermes#might be restarting everything so his boy doesn’t have to be heartbroken because that’s his adoptive son basically and while he’s a fucking#idiot he’s loved so of course Hermes restarts everything not only because he has to but because he doesn’t want Orpheus to suffer and who#cares if Eurydice suffers for it as long as the song gets finished
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