#imagine how hilarious this would be
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Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#cangse sanren#wei changze#jiang fengmian#It was important to me that WCZ had the hereditary mole. I will die on this hill.#I have been *waiting* for the day to finally arrive when I could finally make this comic. It's been marinating for months.#My mission is to redraw all of qour's character designs one day. They are just *that* good.#CSSR has the vibes of a wandering menace who shows up in towns like a stray cat arriving at a new doorstep for treats. 10/10.#While YZY strongly leads us to believe that JFM was in love with CSSR and that's his whole motivation behind taking wwx in-#-I do think this is (once again) rumour being presented as reality. It's the juicer story to tell after all.#It is still possible that he did love her! But I think that story undercuts the relationship he also had with WCZ.#Yall ever think about how JC and WWX parallel their fathers? How Wei Changze also left the Jiang Leader's side? I do.#Unlike JC though It is far more hilarious and plausible to imagine JFM begging to be CSSR and WCZ's third. You know he would.#My wild headcanon is that JFM and YZY are in a mlm and wlw arranged marriage situation. Deeply unhappy as partners. Better as friends.#they care for each other and I'll admit that there is a beautiful tragedy in them having romantic feelings for each other the whole time.#But I am also here for the gaffs. Let them be unfulfilled homosexuals together.#Meanwhile cssr and wcz are having incredible hetrosexual sex in a bisexual way that WILL leave him pregnant by the end of it.
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okay but jjk somnophilia is like
gojo "please please pleaaaaase let me put it in while you're sleeping PLEASE i swear i'll make you cum i proooomise please let's try it once pleeaaase. YOU can put it in ME whenever you want!!! any time any place anything you want in any of my holes!! wake me up with it!! it'll be soooo hot" satoru
vs
nanami "i have kink charts for both of us and they have sliding scales and notes section for each one. we can mark hard boundaries for what state of consciousness we want for ourselves or our partners, giving or receiving, what sex acts, etc. we'll set up a safe word and a safe gesture and then we can start trying things out" kento
vs
geto "sorry i fell asleep while eating you out, it will happen again. no, i won't stop eating you out when i fall unconscious. just tear me off your pussy if you don't like it" suguru
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk imagines#satoru gojo#kento nanami#suguru geto#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo smut#nanami smut#geto smut#i am NOT a nanami girlie do not start expecting nanami content from me. however he is very funny and i love his contrast with gojo LMAOOO#to be clear gojo would not be bugging you about this unless he'd already confirmed you were into it#gojo is probably off putting for some people here but i frankly think he'd just be that desperate and pleading and thats super hot to me#geto tho. geto's just hilarious#again if you're not into somno just don't read this it aint for u. gojo will sound really pushy and creepy#tw: somnophilia#honestly i think nanami would pass out during/before sex just like geto but a lot of the nanami girlies aren't ready for that#the man is like 27 and he looks 40 AND he looked like this when he was??? 23 or smth??#nanami can definitely go super hard during sex but sometimes he will pass out on your lap while eating you out. man is tired.#lemon#sorry for the excess of tags this is such a short little thing and i kinda like how smol it is so i have to ACTUALLY tag tag it lol
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stranger things would've been funny as a mockumentary. like imagine will just bitchily looking into the camera as he watches mike and el being disgustingly "in love" at the airport or whatever. cut to him doing his interview. "im gay, okay? is it obvious now? and yes, as a gay person, i do find it sickening when my best friend kisses my foster sister." he lowers his voice to a whisper and looks behind him, where mike and el are still talking out of earshot. "id even go as far as to call it homophobic, but using that word here would probably be dangerous for me. so let's just say it's gross."
cut to mike doing his interview "yeah so uh...hugging will was weird, i guess." he scratches the back of his head and sighs. "and kissing el also felt weird. but like, that's fine. being on an airplane makes your brain do weird shit, you know? like with the food tasting different? that's gotta be it." he seems satisfied with this conclusion and smiles. "el's lips felt weird and chapped and cold and gross because i was on an airplane, and will, uh, his arms felt- different, because, uh, ummm- there's gotta be some scientific explanation for that, right? why are you guys looking at me like that?"
the camera cuts to el looking at her flowers that say "from mike" and then at the camera. cut to el's interview. she's holding mike's flowers and looks completely over it. "i am constantly on the verge of crying. mike does not need to know that, though." she forces a smile at the camera and twirls her hair.
cut to argyle, hugging mike and looking straight at the camera as he does. his interview. "listen, im like, totally zonked out right now, but man, that little wheeler kid was acting mad weird, man. little bro needs some weed. and new threads, i tag checked him when i hugged him."
cut to jonathan, staring at the camera with wide eyes. jonathan's interview. "oh, mike? yeah, i think i need to kill that guy."
#im watching abbott rn and i just think that this format would be hilarious for stranger things#imagine possessed will just staring at the camera and being like “im normal :))) look how normal i am😁😁😁😁😁😁”#stranger things#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#el hopper#jonathan byers#argyle#bee.txt
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I would love a version of this scene where we do, in fact, see the mustache but without explanation in the show. Like..he just shows up with it unbeknownst not only to the audience or the other two, but to the doctor too.
#imagine how hilarious this would be#doctor who’s greatest mystery: where did that stupid drawn on mustache come from#rose tyler#sarah jane smith#doctor who
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I still think it’s really funny to imagine some very basic knowledge the scientists forgot to include while making Kon-El
Has a high school education but doesn’t know how to tie his shoes or what gay people are because his sex Ed was from 1993 when he was introduced
#shit post#superboy#kon el#kon el kent#seriously imagine how easy it would be to overlook very basic stuff#Kon getting outdated abstinence only sex Ed is something that I think about because I find it hilarious#mean girls “’don’t have sex you will get pregnant and die’#but put directly into his head
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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to me one of the funniest things in asip is definitely when sherlock brought the man previously from his flat to the crime scene without even introducing him except for emphasizing "he's with me" and gavin lestrade was trying to decide whether a) if sherlock has really gone round the bend and decided to take a hostage to keep as a pet and he should save this man from sherlock or b) if this man is even more of a dangerous sociopathic nutter than sherlock and he should lock him up and save london from this man
#no I can't stop thinking about this THIS IS HILARIOUS#just imagine how utterly confused and concerned and uneasy giles was#because gerald would never imagine sherlock was capable of having a “friend” that's not a psychopath or sherlock's hostage#and I was wondering if geoffery even knew john's full name until after john called nsy to reach him??#bbc sherlock#sherlock bbc#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock#sherlock#sherlock headcanon#greg lestrade#incorrect names for lestrade#sherlock s1#a study in pink#asip#buckingham-ashtray
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Summer ends, Winter fades...
Here we are just the same...
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lestappen#imagining how them of circa 2013 would react to them playing paddle together in 2023 is hilarious lmao
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I’m just very obsessed with the idea that mihawk is useless in a weapon less fight like he cannot throw a punch or get out of a pin to save his life like one he can’t kick he’s done out for the count, and this is why Shanks ends most of their duels this way. Because he’s a filthy cheater and Mihawk is even worse off because it’s Shanks pining him and he has eaten a lot of dirt.
Shanks decides to teach him the art of fighting dirty cause he’s nice that way but also let’s just say that Shanks likes being in a pin a little too much
#the first time mihawk pins him straddling his hips he smiles shanks looks up and swears he sees god#but yeah this position definitely escalated things a lot of times#Shanks is playing 3-d chess on how to get laid#I love the idea of especially when they were much younger and mihawk was marginally less serious a lot#their duels ended with them wresting in the dirt#and because I cannot for the life of me imagine Mihawk throwing a punch I’m just going to assume he was hilariously bad at this as well#like he’s not terrible at wresting but once you have him pinned no weapon in hand that’s it he’s done#but even with like a pen he would fucking take your light out#this is the only thing they do where Shanjs can really win and Mihawk hates it (so he claims the full body blush says otherwise)#one piece#throwing thoughts to the void#dracule mihawk#op#hawkeye mihawk#mishanks#akagami no shanks#shanks#red haired shanks#akataka#mihawk x shanks
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arthur shouldve had a scene like in sinbad when he's told to disarm and he starts putting down like half the armoury....and merlin's not even using magic for this arthur just Has that many weapons with him at given moment- he's not even in armour
and he's not even hiding them?? its just that no one ever expects him to be a walking armoury, but it makes lot more sense now how arthur will occasionally just hand people whatever sharp thing they need and it's like- "why the fuck does he have a scalpel"
#i just think it would be hilarious#imagine arthur keeps pulling out more sharp things and merlins getting more and more bewildered cause??#“i dressed him this morning??? he does NOT have enough pockets for that???”#and its NOT even some kind of latent magical ability#this is just How Arthur Is#tho everyone just assumes its a perk of being once and fututre king but its NOT#its just arthur#arthur pendragon#bbc merlin#merlin#merthur
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retired ghoap going on a renovation competition show
ghost takes over the budget and he's ruthless with it; tracking every paint swatch and piece of lumber down to the last cent, haggling for every purchase and making the most of their coupons. soap's in charge of design; he can visualise floor plans better than anyone, seeing the completed spaces in his mind when they’re little more than a steel shell
they run their site like a military base, treating their builders like rookies; expecting them to follow orders but also waiting for them to inevitably mess up so they can fix it
they're an immediate shock to the judges; they fully expected them to have no idea what they're doing, to have no understanding of style or trends, but they didn't sign up just for shits and giggles
they know how to hit a brief and can do physical labour faster than the actual builders. with soap's discerning eye and ghost's practically, they design gorgeous rooms and become a real threat for the prize money. they handle the stress and sleepless nights like it's second nature bc really, it is; a few all nighters painting are nothing compared to being shot at
they also take great joy in messing with the other couples
it takes a while for them to figure out they're even married; they argue like it's going out of fashion, never holding their opinions or frustrations back but it's their love language as much as their banter. you can hear them barking at each other from across the site; callsigns and “It” and “sergeant” thrown around just like in the field
the challenges are where they have the most fun
the day to day? that's work; they're strict, both with themselves and the schedule, never letting anything fall behind or go incompleted. but the challenges? that's play time. they love pushing the brief, toeing the line of the rules purely bc they can
they get to a two part art challenge and ghost's scheming before before the host even opens their mouth. part one? one half of the couple has to design some kind of art piece that will feature in their house. part two? the other person has to gather supplies and tools and make the art
there's a time limit for how long they can take to gather the supplies; once it's up, they can't go back for more and they can only use what they can carry themselves to their station. they're in a warehouse filled with scrap and paint and tools, the choices almost overwhelming
ghost politely interrupts the host to ask for a clarification; absolutely anything in the warehouse can be used so long as they can carry it?
the host confirms; anything under the roof is their's to use
ghost thanks them and steps back in line, standing at attention and waiting for round one to start
ghost volunteers to be the one to do the art, shocking everyone since soap is well known as the artist of the two of them. but soap sees the mischief in his eyes; he knows he's up to something and can't wait to see where it goes
the timer starts and ghost immediately shucks his hoodie and gets to grabbing; stuffing the impromptu bag with everything he recognises from soap's own supplies. there's seconds to go when he bolts for soap, throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry
the other couples are pissed and call it cheating, trying to get them disqualified
ghost just shrugs, soap still over his shoulder, "they said we can use anything we can carry. i followed the brief"
soap just laughs like a mad man
they win the challenge by a landslide
everything's going smoothly, they've won enough room reveals that they’re in a good financial position, they’re ahead in their current room and in a great headspace
then soap gets injured
it's an honest mistake, a part of the roof they thought was stable collapsing and hitting soap
and ghost, always calm and in control, panics
he's on the other side of the site when he hears soap cry out and goes running; shoving past cameramen and builders, screaming to know what happened before he even sees him. he finds soap on the ground, blood dripping from his temple and it's too familiar; a thing he sees in his nightmares
he doesn't know what to do with all his fear so instead, he channels it into anger
he goes off on all his builders, demanding to know how they could be so useless and careless as to miss the unstable roof; screaming at them in a way he hasn't done since he was on active duty, tearing down a rookie for poor trigger management
all the while, his gentle hands tend to soap; checking the wound, if he's concussed, soothing him before he can slip into a flashback of his own. he growls at the cameras, doesn't let the onsite medics anywhere near him; he doesn't know them, doesn't trust them with his johnny. it's only soap's gentle convincing that makes him step back, that forces him to stop and breathe; glaring the medics down from soap's side as they check him and come to the same conclusion soap already reached
he'll be iust fine; a few stitches and he'll be right back in it
ghost goes with him to the hospital to get the stitches laid, abandoning the site to their terrified builders to look after. it takes a few days before he can handle them being separated again, can't even handle one of them going shopping while the other site manages
but soap doesn't begrudge him for his clinginess, not when he knows it's rooted in the fear of losing him. he just keeps him close and calls him his good luck charm when they win the room reveal that week
#new season of the block's on you know what that means! putting my blorbos in every other aspect of my life!#it was so hard writing this without using tradie instead of builder lmao#i love putting ghoap in real situations#like these guys arent normal lmao so putting them in something as typical as a reno show is hilarious#can you imagine ghost shopping for tiles? comparing feature tiles and splash backs and tapwear like its life or death#i just know production would hate him a little bc of the mask he still wears but they also know theyll bring in a different demographic#they also think they can spin the drama of these clueless soldiers who have no idea what theyre doing#just for them to be completely blown away by how skilled they actually are#i just know theyd weird people out tho even retired theyre still unsettling#theres just something about them that puts people on edge#that eases when they see how maddeningly in love with each other they are#just them using military vernacular to build a flat pack#soap still referring to ghost as his superior officer#i love them#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#cod mw2#cod mwii#cod fic#save post
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Gortash, who escapes the Hells after years of torture, and hires Karlach (a red tiefling) as his bodyguard because better the devil you know.
Karlach, late teens, orphaned and trying to find her place in the city, imprinting on Gortash (a thug from the Lower City, making his way up on the world) like a baby duckling, ignoring the parade of red flags.
Them working together well and getting along, despite opposite personalities and morals, because Gortash (who grew up unloved by his parents and abused by devils) enjoys being the object of Karlach's earnest, honest flattery and loyalty too much, and Karlach (poor street urchin with little to no formal education) sees Gortash scheme with politicians and criminals, design clockwork machines, and climb the social ladder with ease, and thinks the sun shines out of his ass.
If Gortash keeps the worst of his dealings hidden from Karlach, well, that's just good business sense. She's still young and green, she'll toughen up as she grows older and the reality of the world grinds her optimisim to dust. And if Karlach turns a blind eye to her boss' cruel streak, to the boxes of smuggled weapons coming in and out of the warehouses, and the dead bodies floating down the Chiontar, it's because they probably did something to deserve it, after all Gortash has been nothing but good to her.
Maybe Gortash starts to wonder if a little bit of goodwill could be leveraged to achieve more power. After all, a couple of kind words and small favours have worked wonders to ensure Karlach's loyalty. Maybe he can allow himself a kindness or two, ease the leash, raise the boot, just a smidge. Only for the harshness of reality to slap him in the face once again, the deal falls through, his enemies gain ground, he loses money and men, his plan pushed back, because he, for one instant, believed Karlach's rainbow coloured worldview.
So he tightens his grip on power even more, doubles down on his cruelty, and decides: Karlach must go. And when Zariel offers her deal, a soul for an ongoing supply of infernal steel, he sells her off without hesitation.
#enver gortash#karlach#baldur’s gate 3#these two had such bad reads on each other it's both sad and hilarious#karlach thinking gortash was like a cool entrepreneur who just sold weed on the side#while the man was balls deep in every possible smuggling ring and crime imaginable in the city#and gortash thinking karlach just needed some time in hell to toughen up#when she was a literal sunbeam of optimism full of love and caring#i don't ship them but man i would love to find more about their days together#how did that even work???
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I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story
#it's not that that isn't interesting (it's fascinating actually. especially for a daughter of aphrodite!!!)#it's that it Obviously wasn't his og intention. the ending of hoo is clearly intended to give a positive impression of jiper#this is worsened because shelper is wildly underdeveloped so it's like Dude what did you even do this for#literally just an afterthought. a footnote really. he said “ok here's your canon sapphic rep pls stop shipping theyna now” /j#she was a main character in one of the main couples in hoo it's so crazy? how can that happen. he would never do this to percabeth#can you imagine if percabeth broke up offscreen and 2 months later annabeth was with some complete rando and then percy died. girl what#it's the kind of setup/payoff issue that is difficult to put into words because he set up something (jiper and all its complex morality)#to ultimately be good because they're making the choice to love each other in the end (poorly executed but whatever I don't hate it)#and then in toa????? he just obliterates them for no payoff and creates a new impression of the most literal case of comphet imaginable? wh#toa is my absolute least favorite sorry#marginally related but if we can Be. Chill. and acknowledge that he originally wrote nico as crushing on annabeth#(we can argue all day about how Definite the crush was but come on. he did not put percy's speculation of it in there for no reason)#(and he obviously did not plan for nico to be gay back then you will literally never convince me of this)#(representation was NOT on his mind in the first 5 books that's why the cast is almost completely white except charles and ethan)#(the disposable poc who die tragically btw)#then I see a similarly confusing debacle but like. in the opposite way#something something sexuality is fluid you can be gay and feel confused about how u used to have a het crush but are still gay#nico says so himself to piper which is hilarious#it's just the lack of consistency and poor planning that I hate........... it is a ginormous pet peeve of mine and it's All Over His Books#piper already reads as having so much growing to do regarding her gender and sexuality because Somebody#(the man writing her) littered her pov with internalized misogyny/anti hyperfemininity and went nowhere with it#rr crit#percy jackson and the olympians#piper mclean#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#anti jiper#<- I PROMISE I am not actually anti-jiper I am very neutral about it as I am with all jason ships. they had cute moments#tagging that just in case#this comes from a place of deep love for the franchise and it's characters btw I have been a fan since I was 8
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Here’s how Earthspark Jazzwave can still win!! Aka I haven’t been able to stop thinking about girl Jazz in ES since @fanficmaniatic’s post about her and now I’ve got brainrot for she/her bisexual Jazz and he/him lesbian Soundwave (is delusional) :’//
#my next plan:#the tensest most awkward megop jazzwave double date#there is sO much glaring from the Decepticon side of the table#and the Autobot side is pointedly ignoring it in favor of small talk#as per usual I think I’m hilarious#maccadam#transformers earthspark#tf jazz#tf soundwave#twitch malto#thrash malto#jawbreaker malto#nightshade malto#hashtag malto#tf bumblebee#jazzwave#for real tho I already have an entire hypothetical episode imagined#where Jazz would cameo#and her whole lesson would be about how sometimes change is good#and meeting new people allows you to learn new things about yourself#I think she would make a wonderful aunt to Hashtag T-T#wlw solidarity
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we almost had it all.. (tango cleo skizz team up)
#tango and skizz fail to pull any bitches except each other#imagine hoping your fave duos will team up in a series when skizztang shack up with each other every time#life series#trafficblr#life smp#secret life#life series spoilers#tangotek#zombiecleo#skizzleman#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#oh also skizz’s ripped sleeves are actually ruffled lace and tango has a pink ombre#im still hoping for team BTS but idk how much 3 middleaged dads will understand how fucking hilarious it would be to me specifically#if they named themselves that .#made heart foundation pastel boybanded coded for now in case team BTS does indeed come to pass 🤞🏼#art tag#my art
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finally finished my project of collecting voiceclaims that are as close as i can find for my hcs of the main HoO cast - just for funsies so it's not as perfect as I'd like but whatever, it was a neat exploration and exercise of me trying to think of literally any franchise for voice actors.
Leo got two cause I had trouble of finding good clips for the voiceclaim that's closers to my hcs for him (the second half of his section). Also got to play the fun game of digging through my art for decent doodles of each character.
Also fun fact, I am almost completely unfamiliar with 3 franchises in this video and was just digging for voice clips on youtube. Try to guess which ones.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#video#headcanon#headcanons#my art#jason also gets two but theyre the same so it doesnt count. and its mostly just cause silly. i had to.#and before anyone asks - ''is that Scaramouche's VA with Leo-?'' yes but i have zero genshin knowledge#and the voice he does for Scaramouche isnt quite what i have in mind for Leo#also 2nd fun fact i briefly considered Vash for Jason but then i realized. same VA as Lio#as hilarious as it would be to have Jason and Nico share a VA voiceclaim i will refrain#Piper's is a bit higher than i'd like but Michiru definitely has the right energy for what i imagine for her#when her voice dips lower that's a lot closer to what i imagine. the energy is close enough though that im fine with the pitch difference#Percy's is very amusing to me. like yeah no Percy has Haru energy. that works out great#normal Haru or abridged Haru? you decide#that is genuinely SUPER close to how i picture his voice though. everyone forgets Percy is a lil monotone and intimidating sometimes#let him be quiet and brooding but his internal monologue is just ''LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE~ HERE IN~ DUCKBURG~''#the voicelines in general are also just. so Percy. its so perfect im so pleased with that one#anyways. throws this into the ether#i might remake this if i can find closer voices - feel free to throw suggestions at me#also might try to make one for other characters if i can find good voiceclaims for them
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