#imagine being criticized once and your immediate reaction is

[striife]

Old news by now, but I forgot to ever comment on this and I remembered I wanted to, since it's about me.

I think it's funny that following someone and reading their posts can be referred to as "creepy" simply because I was critical of them.

I also made it pretty clear how exactly their "inquiry of even a small thing" was harmful, and it's wild to justify disrespecting creators because they are old enough not to cry about it. but whatever, that's not what this post is about.

This post is about who I am. Hilariously, they claim to have received intelligence from the tumblr spy network that this is a new blog. Good job, Sherlock. You've cracked that case. But I will defend my honor to the point that I don't care enough about them specifically to go through the effort of creating new blogs just for them.

Contrary to their belief, they are not the "threat" they called themselves 💀. They are just one of the louder tar pits on this site who have shitty opinions, and I made this blog recently for the purpose of DA Fandom content, meta posts and the court of my own personal public opinion for those tar pits. All of them.

So, for the spies that don't exist, and the record:

Hello, my name is Jack. This is a side blog because my main is drama-free and my followers have come to expect that from my content. I don't want to disrupt their peace with my inexhaustible drive to let people know how terrible their opinions are.

So, if you just want peace in your life, this isn't the Fandom blog for you. But if you want to see pretty edits, beautiful art, meaningful meta, and reasonable takes on discourse for once in this godforsaken place, then I'm your man.

[ollimus-prime]

If it is alright, may I request a TFP (Ratchet, Optimus, or Megatron) x Royalty Cybertronian reader? Like Reader is some prince/princess.

The reader's pod recently crashed onto earth, and Characters team finds them?

(Sorry if it's confusing)

From the Sky

A/N, not important: Sorry, I changed it a bit. I wasn't entirely sure how to work this out as I think the only 'royalty' within transformers were kind of the Primes? Unless I'm completely wrong. Also extra apologies for it being a bit jagged. I'm still getting used to writing again. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: Megatron imprisons you, you're a politician

Words: 995

Summary: Ratchet's, Optimus Prime's, and Megatron's reaction to a senator from before the war landing on Earth

You were a high ranking official on the High Council, part of the board that named Orion Pax the next Prime. You were there when the war started, when the Decepticons were going after everyone on the High Council and terminating them.

To save your life from the countless assassinations going on around you, you were put into a stasis pod and loaded onto a ship to be sent as far away as possible.

The ship had been blown during the war, causing your stasis pod to slip through the cracks and careen through space, eventually causing you to land on Earth.

Ratchet

He’s furious when it’s discovered who you are. Yes, gaining an ally would normally be a chance for celebration, but Ratchet is bitter about how you came to be on the Earth.

He feels you’re just a coward because you ran away from the fight brewing on Cybertron. He thinks you should have stood with Optimus Prime during the beginning of the war, even in the face of all the assassinations going on. 

Knowing you not only ran away, but actually managed to survive this long without ever engaging or helping in the fight infuriates him. He can’t imagine that you, one of the supposed ‘good’ senators, ran away and left your people to fend for themselves without ever lifting a finger to help.

He’s very sarcastic and short with you, constantly egging you on about how you ‘need protecting’ since you’re ‘such a high class bot’. He has very little respect for you and how you acted at the first signs of war. 

If you ever need help with something or make an effort to assist someone else, he makes a huge deal out of it. He’ll sarcastically ask if you need help with the most menial task, giving you as hard a time as he can without Optimus intervening.

Only starts to warm up to you when you prove yourself in a fight. 

You had saved Bumblebee on a mission, ending with you getting injured instead. When you had returned for repairs, Ratchet had been surprisingly upset, and not just about the use of resources to fix you. He fusses over you like he would any of his other teammates, scolding you for not being more careful.

It takes a while, but you’ll eventually start to grow on him if you work on proving him you can be a strong member of the team.

Optimus Prime

Upon seeing you, he immediately recognized who you were. He’s apprehensive at first, but welcomes you into the team and fills you in, making sure you’re aware of the war still going on. 

He knows you fled once before at the sight of violence, and hopes to keep you with them for the fight this time around. 

He doesn’t fully trust you at first, but tries his best to be fair in his judgement as long as you don’t show any signs of going against the team.

He’ll try his best to curve the other’s feelings towards you, not wanting the team to shut you out. However, he knows that his interference only breeds deeper resentment over time, and is insistent you make your own connections with the team.

 He wants you to feel like they have your back, and makes sure you know you need to have theirs as well.

He helps you however he can as you adapt to your new life within the war and on Earth, letting you tag along with him so you can get more used to the planet without dealing with the others.

He starts to enjoy your company after a while, with his ease around you rubbing off on the others. He enjoys seeing you meld into the team and work with the others.

Despite his growing fondness, he makes sure to remain impassive and fair when around you. He doesn’t want anyone to think he favors you, or have you feel you’re being left out either. He’ll deny any feelings he has growing for as long as possible, wanting to stay impartial to any argument or problem that may come up involving you. He doesn’t always succeed.

Megatron

Megatron’s delighted when you’re brought back to him, forced to kneel at his feet on the bridge of his own ship. He can tell who you are from your fancy plating and shiny coat, immediately clocking you as one of the only senators to escape him.

He thinks it’s a cruel twist of fate that you, a former council head, is now under his imprisonment. He laments all his past grievances to you, blaming you for all that went wrong early in his life.

Megatron likes to recount the events of the war to you, mocking you for running and abandoning your people to face their deaths. He wants you to feel as stuck as he did in the pits of Kaon.

He grows to enjoy your company in a very messed up way. He’ll taunt you and threaten your life as you sit in whatever cell he stuck you in, pacing around you and forcing you to listen to every problem he had back before the war. 

He doesn’t care if you were one of the ones vying against Zeta’s system. All he sees is a corrupt politician that denied him his view of freedom and gave it to Optimus instead.

He delights in reminding you that he’s in charge now, bragging about how close he is to winning the war and instatting everything he wanted  back when he first talked to the high council

He mocks you with your current helplessness, unable to stop reminding you of the power and privilege you used to hold.

He doesn’t let anyone else visit you of course. Oure his to torment, to mock, to taunt. He likes the captive audience you’re now forced to be, made to listen to him now after dismissing him all those years ago.

[tenroses07]

My final thoughts on the neil gaiman allegations;

Do I believe the women?: Yes. While I do find it still a bit odd that there’s missing context, I think that’s a fault of the podcast and not the fault of the women. I hope that they come forward to more reputable news sources and give their stories fully soon.

Do I think this is a right wing conspiracy: Yes and no. I do not think all of this is one big lie, but I do think the journalism here is clearly biased and I do not think these women’s stories would’ve been aired if they (the journalists) did not believe there would be any political gain. I do believe that it could be possible that tortoise media is trying to slander those who have worked with him. I do not blame the women for this.

Do I still wish to see more proof?: Of course. I think it’s possible to believe victims while also still wishing to see more proof. It’s important to be critical still, but once again this does not mean that it’s okay to say these women are lying because you haven’t seen proof.

Do I think any fandoms for media he created should interact with him again?: No. He clearly has a record of abusing his position of power, and I do not think any fans should interact with him again for the sake of their own safety. This includes on any social media. If he returns to being online, don’t send asks or react to them. Don’t return power to him.

Do I think anyone who was worked with him is obligated to come out with their reactions immediately?: No. It’s entirely possible the news hasn’t made it to them yet. It’s also entirely possible that they could be still processing things after working personally with him. If we as fans are shocked in disgusted, then imagine how those who have worked with him feel. Do not condemn them for speaking out immediately, they have lives too.

Do I think you can still watch his shows?: I feel mixed about this personally. I think it’s a better idea to 🏴‍☠️, but I also understand he is not the only person who worked on these shows. 🏴‍☠️ing affects more than him, so personally I don’t see a problem with watching his shows as long as you condemn him.

Do I think you can still read his books: Yes, but it’s a bit different here. I do not think people should be buying his books now. If you want to own them, buy second hand. If you don’t mind reading online, then 🏴‍☠️. I wouldn’t really recommend checking them out at a library as that still does give him support since the library could decide to purchase more of his books.

Do I think you can enjoy media he’s worked on or created without supporting him as person?: 1000%. His actions and alleged perversions do not translate into any of his work from what I’ve seen. I think it is 100% possible to separate him from his media in this case, especially with Good Omens and his shows.

Do I think you should burn/trash your books or media by him?: I don’t see a point, but I understand why someone may want to do this. Everyone is angry and upset, and if you want nothing to do with his works anymore that’s 100% valid. I just personally don’t see a point since they’ve already been purchased, and unless you bought them recently and can return them, you’re not taking any money away from him. If you don’t want to keep his books anymore, I’d suggest donating them to a thrift store or a library.

Edit: I wanted to add a section here about the relationships he had with these women since I didn’t really mentioned it before, so here (TW FOR SA);

While the relationships themselves were consensual for the most part (besides the two allegations of SA) I still do not think they were right to be had. The power imbalance and age gaps are gross. They’re not illegal, but morally they’re incorrect in my opinion. I know one of these women was a fan of his, and I believe he took advantage of that. And im also pretty sure he was 40 years older than her at the time. That’s gross.

As for neil’s current response as featured in the article, I don’t think he’s telling the truth. He admits to having relationships with those women, which adds to fact that I believe he’s not a good person for having those relationships already where he clearly was the one in power. The false memories claim could have some nuance to it (it’s possible that it could be something that happens to that woman without it being stated on medical records) but I personally believe it’s an excuse on his end, true or not.

Of course, continue to be kind to each other online. Don’t berate those who are upset and confused, and don’t berate the victims either. For those who believe it’s still all a lie, you have no reason to believe he wouldn’t be capable of any of this. You don’t know him. He doesn’t know you. I urge you to rethink everything about this situation and take some time to process it on your own. Denying everything is not the way to go about this.

I believe that’s everything I have to say. If you read all this, I appreciate this. If you think my wording is odd in some places or if it seems I said something I didn’t mean, please let me know. I’m writing this all on a bit of whim so I can put my thoughts out there instead of keeping it all inside. Thanks again, and stay safe

[hanatagami]

Batfam! Reader x Platonic! Damian Wayne - cuddle sessions

this is probably some wishful out of characterness but i dont really care, i just want some fluffy damian sibling time in my life screw capitalization

and please dont look at the tags i dont know if im doing them right

i also haven’t checked for grammar errors

so im gonna show a damian under some very specific conditions

its gonna take you being a very affectionate person

but also someone who doesn’t tease, or knows when not to cause if you do it even once this is never happening again

its gonna take him being absolutely completely sure you wont tease him, or utter a single word about it to anybody in the house

he also has to be completely sure you won’t say no, like 120% sure you won’t say no

heres what i think thats gotta happen for cuddly sibling damian

first is to show an example of how much you want to crush him with affection but don’t because he wouldn’t like it

the scenario i imagine to start this is a competition between all the wayne siblings

the winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser

you are the fortune winner, damian is the unfortunate loser

well he wouldve been unfortunate if it was anyone else

ignoring all the suggestions from the others that would most certainly piss damian off, you already had your heart set on something

“You gotta let me hug you for an entire minute!”

silence

que jason laughing (just ignore him)

the others get a big smile on their face for multiple reasons i dont feel like getting into

but damian grumbles and reluctantly steps up to you

(dick is in charge of the timer)

you crouch down and proceed to wrap him in what you want to make the best hug in the world

you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him to your chest, cradling his head in your arms

you gave a good amount of squeeze, a good comforting amount of squeeze

you don’t think you’d get a chance like this again, damian would never let himself lose again no matter what it takes if you have a good chance of winning

lost in the feeling of finally being able to smother your youngest sibling with affection you didnt really take notice of his reaction

you didnt notice how his body melted into your embrace (though only just a bit)

you didn’t feel how his breath on your neck began to slow down and relax 

or how his eyes began to droop halfway

you were lost in your own little word- and so was he

in fact when dick decided to break you out of your trance, it seems you both had gone passed the promised time without realizing

you had assumed damian was keeping count and would shove you off immediately after it hit the 60 second mark

but he didnt

and by the embarrased look on his face you could see he had MEANT to, but for some reason forgot

you had never seen his composure so broken as jason took the chance to immediately poke fun at him

(tho damian didn’t know that jason was also a secretive fan of hugs from you)

it was a good time 10/10 would hug again

lets skip a bit

but just know theres been a lot of thinking while damian has been on his  lonesome

he liked your hug a lot more then he thought he would

it was so warm and comforting and he had found himself unconsciously leaning into it

his mother wasn’t an affectionate person, being an assassin didn’t allow such luxuries

bruce wasn’t much better, though he tried to be

and by the time his siblings and him got any kind of close he was already uncomfortable with such affections

he never realized how truly touch starved he was cause at this point in his life he didn’t see why he would indulge in such niceties, it was unpleasant

but it more pleasant then he expected, and he had let his guard down which was a critical mistake in both assassination and vigilantism

but there was an itch he now couldn’t scratch with that mindset

he’d been going back and forth with himself for days about asking you to hug him again

(cause lord knows he wasn’t asking anyone else)

and after a particularly stressful day, people at school just bugging the hell out of him, and not being allowed to go out on patrol that night cause bruce noticed his stress

and damian could only assume bruce thought he’d take it out on criminals

which damian was too proud to admit was possible

So imagine your surprise when Damian just bursts into your room, slams the door shut, and turns towards you with his eyes squeezed shut and his arms out

now this is what i meant about teasing and joking, a teasing��“no” or any other funny comment and he’ll be humiliated and outta there faster then he was in and he will never come back

its a good thing you knew that right?

you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face as you approached him and gently wrapped your arms around him

you could tell he was grateful you didn’t say anything

you’d have to guess he has been wanting this for a minute cause it didn’t take him long to completely snuggle up into you

You hadn’t realized he was so craving of affection, and you hazard a guess he hadn’t known either

it was a couple minutes before he broke away from you

when he looked up and saw your warm smile he turned completely red and sped out the door

how cute!

and now to your greatest hopes, it had started becoming a common occurrence!

your youngest brother is now actively seeking out your affection and its an incredible feeling

after the first couple times you had actually gotten him to speak to you during or after

and then a couple times after that, you had gotten him to stop speeding out of your room

he came the most at night, after dinner when everyone would be too busy working or in their room to notice his venture to yours

it was now common for you to silently hug him with one arm with him sat with you in your chair while doing homework or studying for college

or when you play something he’ll sit in front of you and let you rest your head on his

one of your favorite memories is him falling asleep on your lap on accident and him being so embarrassed when he woke up he pretended to still be asleep

you could feel the heat in his face so you decided to do him a favor and pretend you hadn’t noticed and instead moved him to your bed

though you couldn’t help the small kiss you planted on his forehead, knowing he couldn’t bring it up without outing himself

he’ll have to live with it

and you were surprised to find out he was the kind of brother who would sneak into your room at night

now you never caught the reason why, but you at least knew he didn’t want you to know

he came in and laid next to you when you were “sleeping” and left before you “woke up”

you assumed he was facing some inner demons when he did this, and wanted the small comfort but didn’t want the embarrassment of waking you up and asking you

you and alfred now have a hidden code, not that alfred knows (he probably does but you didnt tell him, but you were sure him and bruce had noticed and got a good idea as to what was happening)

well its not much of a code but when alfred asks for you or damian for one thing or another, you can send him something along the lines of “hey, ive got damian helping me with something” and alfred seems to get it and leaves you two alone for now

im not gonna say how, you and damian dont even know he does, but bruce has pictures

which is crazy cause you’ve never taken one, even while damian is asleep, cause this isn’t something your ruining

but bruce has pictures and he keeps them safe and secure for only him and alfred to see

seeing damian be so close to you makes him so happy

not that he’d say, him and damian are alike in that way

but alfred knows though

he always knows

[werezmastarbucks]

1. Be nice to the weird guy and see what happens

barry allen x female reader

word count: 1745

part one out of 8

He liked to sit next to you at the cafeteria because nobody else would have him; he was the chatty, obnoxious dude with the weird laughter who annoyed the fuck out of anybody who had the rotten luck of spending time with him. It was known that during the classes, he was definitely useful to some; being all open and helpful with the late homework, difficult passages and intricate nuances of law. His real love was physics, though, and if he started babbling about it, one could shoot oneself in the mouth.

You didn't mind. Perhaps it was the fact that Barry was extremely easy on the eye - the whole sculptured face and the articulate mouth thing going on. But, rather, you liked to listen to his theories in the breaks, between literature, history of literature, critical literature, medieval literature... well, there was a lot of lit. Once you got through his initial jokes, complicated formulations and extremely long lyrical digressions, you started hearing really interesting things. Maybe you were a little bit more patient than everybody else. Maybe you just clicked.

Thus you spent almost all breaks at college. You'd emerge from the different sides of the building in the messy crowd of peers, and meet at the cafeteria where only one table could tolerate Barry Allen. You'd always switch lunches; you were dead set on eating more dairy because it was good for stomach, but, ironically, you couldn't stomach (pun intended) the feeling of yoghurt in your mouth. Not hard, not liquid, what is this thing, yoghurt? Yet, you bravely bought it every time, and then, after a couple of spoons, gagged, and after several weeks Barry was already accustomed to silently switch trays with you. He always bought the second one anyway. The dude ate for three and was still lean, almost slender.

You'd listen to his ramblings about equations until you got bored, and then would start asking him actually relevant questions.

Barry, how the fuck do we build the ionic engine asap? Barry, is that possible, that a person, not a metahuman, but a usual human, could hold gusts of dark matter inside and have the cells tolerate it? Barry, how the heck do mirrors work?

He was always happy to talk about it with you. You liked each other. You were nice to the weird guy who was being mildly bullied, frowned upon, by other students; and this way, you got your first friend at Central City College.

It's been months before you started noticing some strange things about your hyperactive, gluttonous, OCD, nervous, obnoxious friend.

First, that building collapse that happened on Thursday, 12th of December, and when the phones of the entire classroom started going off, you thought immediately about telling your friend, Barry. It's a natural reaction. You were puzzled not to see him in the cafeteria, or anywhere in the College, although you'd seen each other that morning, and moreover, Barry skipped studies very rarely. You thought it odd and texted him, and only got the reply very late that night:

"Sorry, I had to run, eaten something reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaally shitty. Yeha, I've seen on the news. Crazy. Cool that Batman and the Flash were there".

He always, always misspelt 'yeah'.

You wouldn't build the whole picture until much later, when you started seeing a pattern. Barry acted really weird when talking about metahumans. Not that it was your favorite topic, or you spoke about it often. But every time, he would start nervously stuttering and blinking like thirty times faster, and try to change the subject.

Uhm, yeah? The Flash, he's- he's really cool, yeah? So... fast!

The usually talkative, imaginative Barry was at loss when talking about them. If you'd ask him to characterize the metahumans, he'd describe all of them as 'cool' and 'fast'.

Then, there were these sudden disappearances when something occurred in the city or elsewhere. Of course, when you look at it with the perspective, it's laughably obvious, but while the history is writing itself... yes, Barry has gone rogue here and there during the classes, and then reappeared a day later, and happened to slack at replying to you, but you didn't text to each other that often. So the crazy realization came to you a different way.

The Justice League did not like the spotlight very much. The most outspoken and open ones were Wonder Woman and Aquaman. Those two, they were so invincible that they had nothing to be afraid of. Always smiling confidently and calmly, with nothing but polite words of support, should they happen to meet someone who'd recognize them. Batman, Cyborg and Superman were the different tale. They were secretive, quiet, evasive. They were the real cool heroes, who left the intrigue hanging, made everyone ask questions and hope for excitement. You yourself have written 2000 words on the phenomenon of mysertious identities of the team, for your creative writing homework.

But the Flash. The fastest person on the planet was the hardest to catch, and at the same time, the pictures of his face, out of those four who were hiding their identities, were of the best quality.

There were three pictures: one from Gotham City a year ago, when a bridge has been blown up, and the team gathered to deal with the aftermath. The shot was not too blurry, with his back turned, but you could see the way he was standing, resting, like an Olympic runner.

Second picture was a picture of his face, but relatively bad; it was probably a maximized shot cut out from somewhere. You could be looking at a mashed potato and trying to guess the eyes and the mouth.

Third, was a picture of the whole team from Laos, where they were doing god knows what, honestly, you weren't that interested in superpeople. The news headline said that they had located the position of the weapon smugglers, and Batman took charge unlawfully, and the whole Justice League was in peril. Not for the Flash though! That day also provided a video of him, probably a very foolish thing to do for someone who is trying to stay unknown. You got a close up Batman, who was trying to shove the camera down, and then, seemingly from under his elbow, the bright red Flash appeared, very close, his face at 45 degrees to the camera. Looking briefly into the lense, he said,

"Umm, I, like, see the remains out there, I'll go then chief".

Utter gibberish, said in the same voice that always told you tales of speed, and particles, and timeline, during lunch breaks.

You weren't looking or investigating on purpose; it was just boredom. It was February, and you had cold. You were browsing the news to be aware of the next essay point. And then you saw this guy, with parasite words flooding his speech, so close to the camera that you paused, and leaned in, and yelled,

"What the fuck?!"

Later that week, after you got better and returned to studies, you met Barry at cafeteria during the break. It was pretty much the only times you met at all, but friendship was string, joyful, and mutually respectful. You started noticing the limp that he hadn't had five days ago, and the way his cheekbones might just be the most recognizable cheekbones in the world. Barry Allen was also granted some of the most distinctive voices you'd heard: capricious, like a chainsaw working. Once you'd heard it, you'd never forget.

You pretended to eat like nothing happens as he told you about every little fucking thing that happened at the College while you were away.

You considered being decent and talk to him eye to eye, but the curiosity, boredom, got the best of you, and you snapped right after you've finished your meals.

As you left the cafeteria and walked across the yard to get into the next building, to the library, you phased in and returned to reality, only to discover he was still talking.

"Are you the Flash?" you asked quietly, snugging closer to him.

You could see the closeness at first startled him; his eyes darted from your shoulder to your face, but then the information reached his brain.

"Why would you say that?" he asked.

You stood in front of him, almost laughing.

"What do you mean? I've seen one video", you whispered, "and realized it was you. I mean- it would be more difficult not to see it. And your voice, it was your voice!"

Barry clasped his hands together as if he was a boy being told off.

"Well, I've also seen the resemblance, and..."

You took your phone and opened the screenshot you'd taken, and put it next to his face to compare. Barry's hand was on your immediately, taking the phone down. Seriousness changed into joking denial.

"Come on, I mean, I take it as a compliment, but I can't possibly be the Fla-hu-huhsh".

His laughter drew a wall between you. In a moment, for some fucked up reason, you felt misunderstood, and hurt.

"Why are you denying this? I won't tell anyone", you looked around, at the utterly indifferent surrounding, where people wouldn't care if you two got completely undressed and started eating soil.

"I am your friend. I was just so flabbergasted to find this out. But I won't tell anyone".

Barry looked lost. He seemed like a boy so much at that moment, not knowing what to say.

He knew you wouldn't tell. He was surpried it took you more than two months to realize who he was. Bruce and Diana were dead set on keeping him anonymous. Bruce especially; he was constantly paranoid about Barry, and what he did to compromise himself, and his social circle (although he said a number of times he didn't have any). He would butcher the idea into his head almost every time they went on a mission: be careful, don't interact with anyone, don't let people look into your face too much; the mask is too revealing.

He was now in between. The idea that Y/N would know him for real made him feel more special than even his powers.

"I'm sorry, I am not the Flash", he said. He watched your face close down with disappointment.

"It's okay, I understand, I guess".

Why did she have to be so stubborn though? It's like, every time Y/N knew something, or thought she knew something, nothing would turn her around, not even the reality.

[senka-mesecine]

Could you please write the reactions of platoon characters to the reader crying? Thx

-

― Like a true son of two fathers, Chris is conflicted on what to do, what's the right course of action; from one end, his best and brightest instinct is to comfort, console, be at a loss for words at your state, be outraged in your name, be gentle, impassioned, act confused and fidgety for a moment because it's hard to articulate everything he wants to say and do to make you right again and he does want to say and do so much --- from another end, he wants to do something brash, something stupid, something dare I say even violent? He wants revenge in your name and the impulse itches him like something he yearns to scratch while he's holding you and with each sob, each whimper, each tear, the desire to do bad gets stronger. One could even say a really messed up part of him is into your crying although he wouldn't outright admit to this or even be able to process it immediately --- he doesn't know it's happening even as it's happening. It's fully plausible to say Chris Taylor is very tender and dedicated while consoling you but also prone to go out there and retaliate against whatever or whoever it was that made you cry. Two truths can simultaneously coexist within one person and in no man is that better demonstrated than in him. Once you're fast asleep in your bed, feeling better, feeling relieved, Chris might just go out and do what he feels needs to be done.

― O'Neill strikes me as the type of guy who'd publicly and very cockily proclaim he isn't swayed by moping, sniveling and tears, playing into his tough man macho wannabe persona, but privately, he's genuinely distraught. He's biting his nails, nervously tapping his foot, pacing up and down and legitimately worried for you because he wants to fix this quickly but a quick fix doesn't come to mind. Blank. Empty. No clue what to do. See, he'd whine and mope and pester you into telling him what's wrong and once you do he'd mope and whine and pester you into telling him exactly how to make it better, one almost getting the impression he's the party in the need of comforting here. He is, in fact, very swayed by your tears to the degree his anxious ticks might just get worse and he very well could start crying along with you if you're truly that upset or at least get very obviously teary eyed at the sight of you --- facts are, Red acts far more tough than he really is and so your sadness literally hits him hard. Man would downright pester you into being better and once he does you undoubtedly have to take over and console him --- his head is your lap and you caress the top of his head because he's just shattered. There, there. You've no clue how the tables ended up being turning like this.

― Wolfe has no idea what to do; he might just stand there legitimately shocked, stunned and all frozen up, just sitting down beside you awkwardly, watching your outpouring of emotions like a lost puppy or like he's witnessing something slightly perplexing he's never really encountered before, momentarily unsure how he should act out of fear of acting wrong and stumbling upon reproach or criticism from you (which is genuinely his worst fear ever), but probably quickly springs into action once the realization hits him he can be depended on, that this is his chance, and he can be useful to you and garner your admiration and appreciation through that. Acts of service galore coming into play! He gets to Captain the situation, quite literally. Anything you need, everything you need, and all you need to is ask. Or not even ask --- he'll just do things because he imagines it'll make things better for you. Man does so much just over the notion of you crying that for all of his occasionally hapless self there's something weirdly endearing about this effort. Like he truly tries and wants to make a difference. One could even say Wolfe's in his element when you're crying as bizarre as that may sound because he has the upper hand --- you being the aggrieved one and him being the one who gets to fix it. Unbeknownst to yourself, you've given him an opportunity to shine and he immerse himself into that for weeks after the crying incident is done.

― Bunny reacts like a kid or an adolescent would react. Genuinely speaking. He might go anywhere from the occasional meanspirited taunt (in his own weird Bunny mind hoping it'll make you laugh and snort and by extension cheer you up; truly a tactic for the ages) to being weirdly and sadistically turned on by your glazed over, shiny eyes and making no effort to be classy or covert about it, to wanting to do some bad shit as a vendetta dedicated to you simply because he doesn't need excuses to wreak havoc but when he's given an excuse it's all the better from where he's standing, it's like it makes the havoc in question more fun and shit --- and all the way down to him just sitting beside you, mouth slightly agape and eyes somewhere far off because the capacity to fully grasp what should be done in a situation like this hasn't fully developed yet. He knows he's meant to do something he just ain't sure what. Might blurt out an obligatory 'wanna fuck?' because the thought of fucking you always cheers him up so he figures you'll be the same and when that doesn't work he'll just be there and watch it all unfold. If it gets bad enough he could put his arms around you and slither close to you like he should be receiving party of the embrace in a weirdly sweet moment although he's very likely to make you promise never to tell anyone he did this pussy shit.

― Man, King can't stand to see anyone cry, least of all you --- if the particular subject of his affection who's sobbing up is a woman he can stand that least of all because it feels like an affront to God almost. Goes against nature in his opinion. It just ain't right. You should be laughing well and often and always and leave the tears to some undeserving, mean-ass motherfuckers who earned to be in a fucked up mood, meaning that King does everything in his power to make you laugh --- he doesn't care if it comes off a little bit chaotic or irritating as you're right in the middle of your weeping, doesn't care if it annoys you initially because hey, if you're annoyed then that at least it cancels out some part of your sadness which is good. It's gravy. He's on the right track to fixing this crap. Should he offer you a blunt? Share some beer with you? Tell you a joke? Share an embarrassing anecdote hoping you'll begrudgingly snort? Flirt with you? All of the above? Because trust and believe the man will try everything and at least one of the things in question are bound to work whether you like it or not. By the end of it, he invests so much into brightening your mood you can't help but be endeared by it --- his efforts really do pay off. You're there grossly snickering, snot bubbling in your nostrils, eyes puffy and red even though you might've had the cry of your life just moments ago. Life ain't that bad, is it?

― Life is that bad, Rhah might think on the opposing end of things, meaning that if you fall into a dark mood he might just fall into a dark mood along with you --- there he is, all doom and gloom because you crying might as well herald the end of this fucked up world for all he's concerned. He's broody, he's sulking, he's languishing and Vermucci downright agonizes, often verbally, when faced with your tears like someone invested into this matter with every vestige of his soul. Falls into a full blown, Shakespearean level monologue on how everything is just wretched, rotten and foul and as strange as it may sound it's almost momentarily good and cathartic to have someone so impassioned who understands exactly what you're going through and has the vocabulary to describe it back to you. You do feel seen in a weird sense. Related to. Not alone. Which ironically makes the grief quell. Not to say he wouldn't console you in the classical sense; oh, Rhah's all affection, holding you, smoothing your hair, kissing away your tears and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. I mean, the world outside might suck ass but that doesn't mean the world in here does. It's just that when you cry what little hope hope he has for the general state of things immediately extinguishes and he stumbles headfirst into nihilism.

― Elias undoubtedly doesn't leave your side until you're done, feeling better, until he can draw a smile out of you, however small and brief, or at least be assured you're going to be okay, probably sharing some words of wisdom with you that are legitimately profound enough to make you realize how miniscule this problem is or how truly temporary, his presence warm and soothing enough to have you understand you're not alone in this nor ever will be. This conversation and time spent with him during your fit of crying not only serves to comfort you for the time being but open your third eye in ways you never thought possible, like the grief was taken away with a magic touch. You truly feel...relieved afterwards. Relaxed. Like an invisible, crushing burden has been lifted. I dare even say you feel happy. It's just that sudden clarity that comes after grief and he manages to draw it out of you knot after knot. Elias just has that impact where he lightens the soul with a couple of well placed words, a hug or just holding you. He comforts you so efficiently when you cry that you never feel like crying again. You just feel good about yourself. Good about the world. Good about everything. Loved. You might not even remember what it is he said to you but it sure worked like a charm.

― Barnes can't stand it. I mean it. The sounds of you crying are infinitely more horrifying and harrowing in his ears than they are in yours; they remind him of a lamb being butchered and bleating for its momma. He'd probably just stare at you as it happens, almost turning his head away, trying to ignore it, seemingly angry, waiting for you to let it out and ultimately needing a moment for himself and wordlessly leaving in the midst of it all --- he appears gruff, stoic and even unfeeling but he's probably more affected than you are and this moment is genuinely etched into his mind forever the same way whenever you cry is going to be. He wants you to stop. Needs you to stop. He'd kill for you to stop because the sound is unbearable, almost amplified by about a thousand from where he's standing. It's the most profoundly messed up, sad shit he's ever heard and he's heard and seen horrors unimaginable...partook in a great many personally too to the point few things phase him anymore; but to hear and see you cry just has him stepping out of the room and taking to the drink outside, listening in, waiting for your teary hiccups to quell, not coming back until he singlehandedly deals with whatever chicanery it was that made you sob and weep --- and well, that can be a sweet thought, but Barnes being Barnes, it's also a very daunting one. Someone might just die over it.

[prettyb0ycvnt]

Good morning puppy! Not long since I woke up, so I only just saw your response from last night and that you got woken up by your hornyness but we're too sleepy to deal with it, poor little guy, so pent up already hmm? 😘 Don't you worry, I'll share some of those ideas and help you out with that pent up horny you have locked away, it must be at beyond critical mass now! But you've been such a good boy, asking so sweetly and showing off so beautifully and got yourself some help now. 😘💕

One of the ideas I have is that I have you show off in that gorgeous little outfit, having you bend over in front of me nice and slowly, running my rough hands up and down your thighs always stopping just before I reach your underwear line, saying things like "God look at you, such a handsome little faggot aren't you, dressing so pretty for me." And "Outfits like this with slutty little skirts look so much better on guys, you're the prime example!" All while I stand up and pull you gently backwards, allowing you to feel the reaction you're getting out of me press against you firmly. I would then reach over and gently take your throat in my hand, not enough to choke, but enough to have the pressure to start making you melt, I'd pull you gently back up to standing before leaning down a little closer so I can see your face "Picking such an innocent looking outfit for freaky reasons only makes sense for a silly little prince like you, doesn't it? All a part of your plan when you put these clothes on, isn't that right?" 😉💕

Not going to give you all of the idea at once, I want to see how you react 😉 so I hope you enjoy! I can absolutely carry this on after you've seen it, a little slow start but don't worry, I'll kick things up a notch soon 😘💕

-⚒️

good morning!!! i say, at 10pm >_< !! today has been veryyy busy for me but heyy,, coming back to this is a wonderful way to end it :3

hfjdjrhhhh literally kicking my legs rn ohmy god .,, feeling a little dizzy.... you've been paying attention to my posts and reblogs. the outfit praise? the choking? im sick im ill im lightheaded. needs to happen immediately or i'll explode... pretty hot that you're so attentive <33

aauahhfhggh i can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to present myself like that to you 😵‍💫😵‍💫 !?? being called handsome and pretty alone would be enough to turn my brain fuzzy and leave me speechless,, god, the teasing, too?? that's awful.. stopping right before you touch where i'd want you throat most? and with the added pressure of your hand on my throat and feeling your reaction against me?? ohhh boy... total overload. systems malfunctioning. literally having to rub my thighs together as i type and you're not even here sooo you can imagine just what i'd be like if this were real, huh >_< ?! im sure i wouldn't be able to stop myself from whining in desperation, especially after hearing your words... maybe i'd even push back against you a little to give me that friction i'd crave so badly ... my plan worked! i've gotten your attention!! sooo,,, now the rest of it is all in your hands.. hfjfjgjgjhhh i can't wait to hear what you've got in store next <33

[tailwindpets]

The Emotional Side of Healing: How Your Dog's Journey with a Dog Knee Brace Impacts Their Well-Being

Imagine waking up to the sound of your dog's joyful tail thumping against the floor, only to realize that their once-energetic stride has slowed down. For many dog owners, the sight of their dog limping or struggling with Dog knee pain is heartbreaking. It's not just the physical recovery that's challenging for both dogs and their owners, but the emotional toll of seeing a beloved pet in pain and discomfort. Just like humans, dogs experience emotional reactions to physical limitations, and understanding this emotional journey can be key to effective recovery.

The connection between emotional well-being and physical recovery might not be immediately obvious when dealing with Dog knee pain or fitting a Dog Knee Brace. Yet, studies show that emotional health is intertwined with physical healing. When your dog is in pain or feels restricted by an injury, it can affect their behavior, mental state, and overall recovery process.

Understanding Your Dog’s Emotional State During Healing

When a dog experiences physical trauma, such as a torn ligament or knee injury, their emotions can shift dramatically. Pain, limited mobility, and changes in daily routines can lead to anxiety, depression, and frustration. According to a 2022 study published in Frontiers in Veterinary Science, dogs recovering from surgery or injury are at a higher risk of developing anxiety-related behaviors, particularly if their movement is restricted for extended periods.

Moreover, dogs are highly sensitive to their owners' emotions. Your dog may pick up on your stress or worry about their condition, which could exacerbate feelings of anxiety and insecurity. The emotional bond between you and your dog can significantly influence the healing process. A dog who feels loved, secure, and calm is more likely to embrace the recovery process and adjust to their Dog leg brace or Dog knee brace.

The Role of a Dog Knee Brace in Emotional Healing

While the physical benefits of a Dog Knee Brace are well-known, many owners overlook the psychological impact that such devices can have. The stability a knee brace provides can help restore a sense of normalcy for your dog. A study from the Journal of Veterinary Surgery revealed that orthopedic braces not only improve joint stability but also contribute to reduced anxiety levels in dogs, allowing them to regain confidence in their movements.

But it's not just about the brace itself—it's about how it can give your dog the freedom to engage with their environment more comfortably. When your dog can walk or play without the intense pain that often accompanies Dog knee pain, their mental state improves, and they are more likely to remain active and happy. This is why it’s crucial to fit your dog with the correct brace and monitor their progress emotionally, not just physically.

The Power of Routine and Patience

While the emotional side of healing is often overlooked, routines and positive reinforcement can significantly impact your dog's recovery. Having a consistent routine for rest, rehabilitation exercises, and gentle playtime can provide emotional security for your dog. You might notice them looking forward to these activities, reinforcing their emotional well-being.

Additionally, remember to be patient. Healing is a process, and both physical and emotional recovery take time. As your dog begins to trust their Dog Leg Brace and starts moving more freely, their emotional state will likely improve, too.

Conclusion

The emotional side of healing is just as critical as the physical recovery when your dog is dealing with Dog knee pain. By understanding and addressing your dog’s emotional needs, you help them on the path to full recovery. A Dog Knee Brace does more than just support their leg; it restores their confidence, giving them the emotional space to heal. With patience, a steady routine, and the right care, both you and your dog will come out the other side stronger and more connected than ever before.

Sources:

Frontiers in Veterinary Science, 2022. Emotional well-being and physical recovery in dogs.

Journal of Veterinary Surgery, 2021. Impact of orthopedic braces on recovery and anxiety levels in dogs.

[goldislops]

Five Practices to Change Your Mind

Basic Buddhist meditation practices can transform the way you think and the way you view the world. Here, five teachers offer introductory methods for changing your mind—and your life.

Barry MagidSummer 2005

|

By , Gil Fronsdal, Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Peter Doobinin, Judith Simmer-Brown, and Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Five Practices to Change Your Mind

Madras Buddha, Arlene Shechet, 1997, hydrocal and acrylic paint skins, 29 × 25 ×17 inches

Leave yourself alone!

Zen teacher Barry Magid describes the practice of just sitting.

Imagine sitting down in front of a mirror. Your face automatically appears. There is no effort required; the mirror is doing all the work. You can’t do it right or wrong. The Zen Buddhist practice of “just sitting” is like that. When we sit, our mind automatically begins to display itself to us. Our practice is to observe and experience what appears moment after moment. Of course, just as when we look in a real mirror, things don’t stay that simple for long.

We notice how our faces or our bodies look in the mirror, and we immediately have an emotional reaction and form judgments about what we see. Rainer Maria Rilke wrote that Paul Cezanne was capable of painting a self-portrait with utter objectivity, of looking at his own face with no more reaction than “a dog which sees itself in a mirror and thinks, ‘Here is another dog.’” For the rest of us, it’s not so easy to simply observe who we are. Looking in the mirror, we are tempted to use it as a makeup mirror to touch up the parts of our self-image we don’t like.

Our minds are never what we want them to be. That’s part of why we sit in the first place. We are uncomfortable with ourselves as we are. The greatest dualism we face is the split between who we are and who we think we ought to be. Sometimes that gap fuels our aspiration to follow Buddhist teachings, sometimes it simply fuels our self-hatred, and all too often we confuse these two notions of self entirely.

Just sitting means sitting still with all of the aspects of ourselves that we came to Buddhist practice in order to avoid or change—our restlessness, our anxiety, our fear, our anger, our wandering minds. Our practice is to just watch, to just feel. We watch our minds. Minds think. There’s no problem with that; minds just do what they do. Ordinarily we get caught up in the content of our thoughts, but when we just sit, we observe ourselves just thinking. Our body’s most basic activity is breathing: No matter what else is going on, we are breathing. We sit and breathe, and we feel the sensation of our breath in our bodies. Often there is tension or even pain somewhere in our bodies as well. We sit and feel that too and keep breathing. Whatever thoughts come, come. Whatever feelings come, come. We are not sitting there to fight off our thoughts or try to make ourselves stop thinking.

When we sit, we realize how unwilling we are to leave anything about ourselves alone. We turn our lives into one endless self-improvement project. All too often what we call meditation or spirituality is simply incorporated into our obsession with self-criticism and self-improvement. I’ve encountered many students who have attempted to use meditation to perform a spiritual lobotomy on themselves—trying to excise, once and for all, their anger, their fear, their sexuality. We have to sit with our resistance to feeling whole, to feeling all those painful and messy parts of ourselves.

Just sitting means just that. That “just” endlessly goes against the grain of our need to fix, transform, and improve ourselves. The paradox of our practice is that the most effective way of transformation is to leave ourselves alone. The more we let everything be just what it is, the more we relax into an open, attentive awareness of one moment after another. Just sitting leaves everything just as it is.

May We All Be Happy…

Metta meditation instruction from author and teacher Gil Fronsdal

May all beings be happy.

May they live in safety and joy.

All living beings,

Whether weak or strong,

Tall, stout, average, or short,

Seen or unseen, near or distant,

Born or to be born,

May they all be happy.

—From the Metta Sutta, Sutta Nipata I.8

Metta, or lovingkindness, is one of the most important Buddhist practices. Simply stated, metta is the heartfelt wish for the well-being of oneself and others. When describing metta, the Buddha used the analogy of the care a mother gives her only child. Lovingkindness is also understood as the innate friendliness of an open heart. Its close connection to friendship is reflected in its similarity to the Pali word for friend, mitta. However, metta is more than conventional friendship, for it includes being openhearted even toward one’s enemies, developed from insight into our shared humanity.

Metta practice is the cultivation of our capacity for lovingkindness. It does not involve either positive thinking or the imposition of an artificial positive attitude. There is no need to feel loving or kind during metta practice. Rather, we meditate on our good intentions, however weak or strong they may be, and water the seeds of these intentions. When we water wholesome intentions instead of expressing unwholesome ones, we develop those wholesome tendencies within us. If these seeds are never watered, they won’t grow. When watered by regular practice, they grow, sometimes in unexpected fashions. We may find that lovingkindness becomes the operating motivation in a situation that previously triggered anger or fear.

To practice lovingkindness meditation, sit in a comfortable and relaxed manner. Take two or three deep breaths with slow, long, and complete exhalations. Let go of any concerns or preoccupations. For a few minutes, feel or imagine the breath moving through the center of your chest in the area of your heart.

Metta is first practiced toward oneself, since we often have difficulty loving others without first loving ourselves. Sitting quietly, mentally repeat, slowly and steadily, the following or similar phrases: May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.

While you say these phrases, allow yourself to sink into the intentions they express. Lovingkindness meditation consists primarily of connecting to the intention of wishing ourselves or others happiness. However, if feelings of warmth, friendliness, or love arise in the body or mind, connect to them, allowing them to grow as you repeat the phrases. As an aid to the meditation, you might hold an image of yourself in your mind’s eye. This helps reinforce the intentions expressed in the phrases.

After a period of directing lovingkindness toward yourself, bring to mind a friend or someone in your life who has deeply cared for you. Then slowly repeat phrases of lovingkindness toward them: May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.

As you say these phrases, again sink into their intention or heartfelt meaning. And again, if any feelings of lovingkindness arise, connect the feelings with the phrases so that the feelings may become stronger as you repeat the words.

As you continue the meditation, you can bring to mind other friends, neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, animals, and finally people with whom you have difficulty. You can either use the same phrases, repeating them again and again, or make up phrases that better represent the lovingkindness you feel toward these beings.

Sometimes during lovingkindness meditation, seemingly opposite feelings such as anger, grief, or sadness may arise. Take these to be signs that your heart is softening, revealing what is held there. You can either shift to mindfulness practice or you can—with whatever patience, acceptance, and kindness you can muster for such feelings—direct lovingkindness toward them. Above all, remember that there is no need to judge yourself for having these feelings.

As you become familiar with lovingkindness practice during meditation, you can also begin to use it in your daily life. While in your car, or at work, or in public, privately practice metta toward those around you. There can be a great delight in establishing a heartfelt connection to everyone we encounter, friends and strangers alike.

Related: Cultivating Compassion

Wisdom Arising

Sri Lankan monk Bhante Henepola Gunaratana on training the mind’s eye with Vipassana meditation

Vipassana, or Insight meditation, is a way of training the mind to see things in a very special way as they happen. Seeing without using eyes is a special way of seeing. We train the mind to use our innate wisdom without using words, concepts, logic, or interpretation. In this training, concentration and mindfulness are united. Then wisdom arises and disintegrates what appears to be integrated. Our wisdom eye registers the constant flux of events that is taking place in every moment in our lives. Although this unbroken flux of events is what life is, one cannot be fully aware of this truth without paying attention to what is happening to one’s mind and body every waking moment. With developed insight, our mind can be fully aware of the evolving, processing, and dissolving of everything that happens to us.

So we train the mind to see things as they happen, neither before nor after. And we don’t cling to the past, the future, or even to the present. We participate in what is happening and at the same time observe it without clinging to the events of the past, the future, or the present. We experience our ego or self arising, dissolving, and evaporating without leaving a trace of it. We see how our greed, anger, and ignorance vanish as we see the reality in life. Mindfully we watch the body, feelings, sensations, perceptions, and consciousness and experience their dynamic nature.

Watching impartially opens the mind to realize that there is no way that we can stop this flux even for a fraction of a second. We experience the freshness of life. Every moment is a new moment. Every breath is a fresh breath. Every tiny little thing is living and dying every fraction of a second. There is no way that we can see these momentary existences with our eyes. Only when the mind is sharp and clear, without the clouds of craving, hatred, and confusion can our mind be fully aware of this phenomenon. When we don’t try to cling to these experiences, we experience great joy, happiness, and peace. The moment we try to cling to any part of our experience—however pleasant or peaceful—joy, peace, and happiness disappear. The very purpose of Vipassana meditation is to liberate the mind from psychic irritation and enjoy the peace and happiness of liberation. Nevertheless, if we cling to peace or happiness, that instant that very peace and happiness vanish. This is a very delicate balance that we should maintain through the wisdom that arises from Vipassana meditation.

Awakening, Step by Step

Insight Meditation teacher Peter Doobinin introduces walking meditation.

Walking meditation is a practice through which we develop concentration and mindfulness. We learn to cultivate mindfulness of the body while the body is moving. We learn to be awake. Walking meditation is a particularly important practice in that it enables us to make the transition from sitting meditation to being awake in our daily lives, in our work, and in our relationships. In the end, that’s what it’s all about.

Walking meditation is a simple practice. You choose a straight path—indoors or outdoors—roughly fifteen or twenty steps long. You walk from one end of the path to the other, turn around, and walk back. You continue in this fashion, walking back and forth, focusing your attention on your feet. Your posture is upright, alert, and relaxed. You can hold your hands at your sides, or clasped in front or behind. Keep your eyes open, cast down, and slightly ahead. You can experiment with your pace, perhaps walking quite slowly or at a more regular speed, in an effort to find the pace at which you’re most present. As you walk, direct your attention to the sensations in the feet, to the bare experience of walking. Try to feel one step at time. Be fully, wholeheartedly aware of the physical sensations involved in taking each step. Feel your foot as it lifts, moves through the air, places down against the ground. In particular, pay attention to the touching down of the foot, the sensations of contact, and pressure. Remember that you’re feeling each step, you’re not thinking about the foot, or visualizing it.

You’ll find, of course, that it isn’t always easy to stay focused on the meditation object, the sensations in the feet. The mind wanders, drifts. Your job is to notice when you’ve strayed, when you’re lost in thought. Be aware that you’ve wandered. And return gently to the physical sensations, the lifting, moving, placing of the foot. Just keep bringing your attention back.

As you walk, cultivate a sense of ease. There’s no hurry to get anywhere, no destination to reach. You’re just walking. This is a good instruction: just walk.

As you walk, as you let go of the desire to get somewhere, you begin to sense the joy in simply walking, in being in the present moment. You begin to comprehend the preciousness of each step. It’s an extraordinarily precious experience to walk on this earth.

You can start by practicing walking meditation for ten minutes a day. Gradually, you can expand the amount of time you spend on this formal walking meditation.

In addition to this kind of formal practice, you’ll want to practice walking meditation in “real life” situations. You can practice “informally” just about anywhere, walking along a city sidewalk, down the aisle in the supermarket, or across the backyard. As always, the objective is to pay attention. Pay attention to your feet. Or pay attention to your whole body—the felt experience of your body as it’s moving. In this informal context, you’re aware, to some extent, of what’s going on around you, but your focus is on your walking. Practicing in this way, you begin to live more mindfully. This is when meditation practice takes hold and assumes a new relevancy. Being awake is no longer reserved for the times you spend in formal sitting meditation; it is the way you live.

Related: Walking Meditation—Anywhere

Hot and Heavy, Cool and Light

Naropa University’s Judith Simmer-Brown on the Tibetan Buddhist practice of tonglen

Tonglen, literally “giving and taking,” is a Tibetan practice for cultivating compassion, the Mahayana path of the bodhisattva. The great master Atisha brought Tibetans this practice from India in the eleventh century. Tonglen reverses the pattern of self-cherishing that is the knot of our personal suffering. Using breathing as the basis, tonglen opens our hearts to those things we would rather avoid and encourages us to share what we would rather keep for ourselves. The practice shows that there are no real boundaries between living beings—we are all interdependent.

We begin tonglen by taking our seats in meditation with good posture, very simply and naturally. We ask, why would we want to do this practice? Fundamentally it is vast and choiceless. We recognize that the purpose of our human life is huge, to grow larger hearts and open minds, and we celebrate that we can do this in this moment. We are ready for transformation. Glimpsing this motivation begins the practice.

Then we become aware of our breathing, in and out, and establish the flow of the practice. On the in-breath, we breathe in thinking, “heavy, thick, hot,” and on the out-breath, we breathe out thinking, “light, bright, cool.” At first it seems only like words, but it is good to develop a literal sense of this. My teacher, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, suggested that we think of ourselves as air conditioners. We breathe in the stale, smoky, fetid air of the room around us, and we breathe out fresh, clean, cool air. We gradually purify the room. When we breathe, we are breathing with every pore of our bodies, in with “heavy, thick, hot,” and out with “light, bright, cool.” Do this for roughly one-third of the twenty-minute session, or until the texture is established.

Next, we breathe with a continuing sense of the texture we have established. But now we open our thoughts and emotions to all of our personal material. It is good to start with those who spontaneously arouse our compassion. Is there someone we know who is sick or in emotional turmoil? We begin with that person’s face before us and breathe in their heavy, thick, and hot suffering, sharing with them our own light, bright, and cool energy. Be quite tangible with the texture. Whatever suffering we see in them, we breathe it in; whatever sanity and kindness we see in ourselves, we breathe it out to them. When we are ready, extend beyond our loved ones to more difficult people. Are there people we see as threatening or as problematic in our lives? We allow their faces to come to us and then breathe in their suffering and extend to them our sanity and kindness. We are practicing embracing what we would normally avoid, and sharing what we would normally hoard. Do this part of the practice for seven to ten minutes.

We conclude the practice by extending it out beyond our familiar world. One way to do this is to move geographically. We begin in our immediate neighborhood, with the family next door with the two babies, to the college student on the other side who takes terrible care of her lawn, to the elderly woman across the street who recently lost her husband. We move to those people we encounter on our daily routines—our coworkers and our boss; the grocery checker and stock boy; the employees at the cleaners, the gas station, and the video store. Then we extend through our community, to the hospital, the shelter, the jail, the nursing home, including everyone suffering there. And we extend to our state, region, country, and world, our minds going to the painful situations there that are described in the newspaper—the wars, famines, epidemics. We also include the CEOs, the political leaders, and the people of privilege. We extend this practice until the twenty-minute session is over. Then we conclude with a simple session of meditation again.

Bonus practice from the Buddha:

Body as Path: The Buddha’s instructions on the practice of mindfulness meditation

From the Satipatthana Sutta, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying in the Kuru country. Now there is a town of the Kurus called Kammasadhamma. There the Blessed One addressed the monks, “Monks.”

“Lord,” the monks replied.

The Blessed One said this: “This is the direct path for the purification of beings, for the overcoming of sorrow and lamentation, for the disappearance of pain and distress, for the attainment of the right method, and for the realization of nirvana….

“There is the case where a monk remains focused on the body in, and of itself—ardent, alert, and mindful—putting aside greed and distress with reference to the world. He remains focused on feelings…mind…mental qualities in and of themselves—ardent, alert, and mindful—putting aside greed and distress with reference to the world.

“And how does a monk remain focused on the body in and of itself?

“There is the case where a monk—having gone to the wilderness, to the shade of a tree, or to an empty building—sits down, folding his legs crosswise, holding his body erect and setting mindfulness to the fore. Always mindful, he breathes in; mindful, he breathes out.

“Breathing in long, he discerns that he is breathing in long; or breathing out long, he discerns that he is breathing out long. Or breathing in short, he discerns that he is breathing in short; or breathing out short, he discerns that he is breathing out short. He trains himself to breathe in sensitive to the entire body and to breathe out sensitive to the entire body. He trains himself to breathe in calming bodily fabrication and to breathe out calming bodily fabrication. Just as a skilled gymnast or his apprentice, when making a long turn, discerns that he is making a long turn, or when making a short turn discerns that he is making a short turn; in the same way the monk, when breathing in long, discerns that he is breathing in long; or breathing out short, he discerns that he is breathing out short… He trains himself to breathe in calming bodily fabrication, and to breathe out calming bodily fabrication.

“In this way he remains focused internally on the body in and of itself, or externally on the body in and of itself, or both internally and externally on the body in and of itself. Or he remains focused on the phenomenon of origination with regard to the body, on the phenomenon of passing away with regard to the body, or on the phenomenon of origination and passing away with regard to the body. Or his mindfulness that ‘There is a body’ is maintained to the extent of knowledge and remembrance. And he remains independent, unsustained by [not clinging to] anything in the world. This is how a monk remains focused on the body in and of itself.”

Barry Magid received Dharma transmission as a Zen Teacher from Charlotte Joko Beck in 1998 and is the founding teacher of the Ordinary Mind Zendo in New York. He is the author of Ordinary Mind: Exploring the Common Ground of Zen and Psychotherapy (Wisdom 2002), Ending the Pursuit of Happiness (Wisdom 2008), and Nothing Is Hidden: The Psychology of Zen Koans (Wisdom 2013).

Gil Fronsdal teaches at the Insight Meditation Center and at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. He has practiced extensively in the Soto Zen and Theravada Buddhist traditions. He is the author of The Issue at Hand: Essays on Buddhist Mindfulness Practice and the translator of The Dhammapada: A New Translation of the Buddhist Classic.

Bhante Henepola Gunaratana is a Buddhist monk from Sri Lanka and the author of Mindfulness in Plain English. He is president of the Bhavana Society in High View, West Virginia, an organization that promotes meditation and monastic life.

Peter Doobinin is a founder of Downtown Meditation, New York Insight, and Berlin Dharma. He is the author of The Skill of Living.

Judith Simmer-Brown is a prominent Buddhist scholar and has been a professor of religious studies at Naropa University since 1978. She has practiced Tibetan Buddhism for more than 40 years and is an Acharya senior dharma teacher of the Shambhala Buddhist lineage.

Thanissaro Bhikkhu is an American Theravada Buddhist monk trained in the Thai Forest Tradition. He currently serves as abbot of the Metta Forest Monastery in San Diego County, California and is a frequent contributor to Tricycle. His latest book is Good Heart, Good Mind: The Practice of the Ten Perfections. Thanissaro Bhikkhu’s talks, writings, and translations are all freely available at his website, dhammatalks.org.

[corriganatheart]

omg could you do a pregnancy imagine with jude bellingham?

Jude Bellingham short pregnancy imagine.

Synopsis: Jude becomes a father.

Genre: Cute romantic, fluff

Warning: Both Jude and reader are young (Jude is only 19 in real life, and situations like this are realistic)

When you first found out that you were pregnant, you were barely out of high school and were starting college soon. Jude’s soccer career also barely started, so the timing was wrong.

You hid the pregnancy from Jude for a couple of days until he noticed something was wrong and was able to get you to confess the truth. Jude was, of course, livid and scared because you both are very young, and having a baby would take a lot of time that he barely has.

It took a day or two for you and Jude to calm down and discuss the situation. He was mature about it and asked what you wanted to do, whether you wanted to keep the baby. Either way, he will be there for you.

It was a mutual agreement for you guys to keep the baby after a week of thinking it through. You both knew it would be hard and there would be a lot of criticism, but it wasn’t the baby’s fault, and you both were aware of the consequences of not using protection.

You and Jude kept the pregnancy quiet for a while, and he got a bigger place so that you could move in with him, he also asked you to change your college courses to online because he was aware of the adverse reaction of your peers.

While the pregnancy was hidden, Jude was always home besides his practices and workouts. There were some occasions when he had to work out of town, but usually, he tried to come home right after work.

When your baby bumps began to show, it was when Jude told his parents and your parents. They were all upset that you guys hid the pregnancy and were disappointed that you were not careful, but after seeing your belly, they warmed up and were supportive.

Jude told his best friends and teammates next, and they were very supportive because some of them were young fathers too. When he announced it on Instagram, though there was a backlash, people were calling him names and saying that he would ruin his career. But other fellow soccer players like Neymar, who became a father at 19, were very supportive of him.

During your pregnancy, Jude tries to be home as much as possible and always tries to cook the meals you want since he doesn’t trust restaurant ingredients. He gets a little upset sometimes when you lash out at him for no reason because of your hormones, but he never yells at you and is very patient. But when he does get worn out, his mother would stay the night with you.

When you guys found out that the baby’s gender was a boy, Jude was so excited, and it seemed like your pregnancy was becoming more real. He immediately started decorating the baby’s room, and his teammates also helped with the furniture. His teammates would also tease him for being overly excited and protective of you.

After you gave birth, Jude took some time off from his club and stayed home with you. He was already so in love with his son and constantly thanked you for giving him a wonderful gift. All his teammates love your son, and they threw you guys a party for becoming parents.

The first couple of months was definitely challenging; you still had school and was also a breastfeeding mother, so you were constantly tired. Jude’s family and your family try to help out as much as possible, but they also have their own lives. But after getting used to the routine, you got the hang of it; Jude usually lets you sleep at night, and he’ll wake up when the baby cries.

Being the girlfriend and mother of Jude’s son comes with consequences, such as fans critiquing you guys for being so young and irresponsible, but once your son turned one, they got over it because you guys were still happy and good parents.

You never miss any of Jude’s games, and your son loves to watch his dad play. You also continued your education, and people started admiring you for your dedication and commitment. Your life started to shift once your son got a little older and Jude was now really famous. Many people compare you to Georgina Rodriguez (Ronald’s girlfriend), calling you the perfect soccer girlfriend.

Jude is also the type of guy that would appreciate you for being a massive support in his life and would give anything that you wish for. He also loves his son very much, and everything that he does is for you guys and would dedicate a lot of his goals and awards to you two.

Once Jude felt like you guys were stable enough and your son was old enough to have a sibling, he’ll ask if you wanted to have another child. By then, you’ll be done with college and have a career of your choice, not like you needed to work because Jude provides everything to show his appreciation towards you.

Although you didn’t mind having a second child with Jude, you felt like you were still young, so he waited another year and didn’t hesitate to get you pregnant after the year passed. This time you guys had a girl, and he was more in love. Your second pregnancy went by fast since you guys weren’t stressing as much, and once you’ve given birth to a baby girl, Jude was more in love with you, your son, and your newborn.

Jude and your son were very protective of your daughter, and you could tell she would be a daddy’s girl. Jude also asked you to stay home. He doesn’t want to get a babysitter because he is very protective of your daughter. Raising your daughter was different from raising your son because you were still in online school while raising your son, so you were the one babysitting. You agreed to quit your job and stay home with your kids, and Jude is the type of boyfriend that would put paychecks into your bank account to show his appreciation for you. You also created a TikTok account showing your life as a Pro soccer girlfriend. And there was so much support from fans, everyone finally accepting your relationship with Jude.

After your daughter was at least two years old, Jude proposed to you in the best way possible and you didn’t hesitate to say Yes. And when he went to a different soccer club, he always included you and discussed it with you first. This would include you and your kids following him and moving to where ever he goes.

Jude is definitely a family guy and is very loyal to you and the kids, and is also very protective. Sometimes there would be rumors, and he would go to you first so that you don’t misunderstand anything. He truly loves you and knows you and the kids are his best support system.

[zoeykallus]

Hi! I love you fics your very talented:) if you wouldn't mind I have a small request. Okay so when I was younger me and my parents didn't have the best relationship and called me a failure alot, so I would like to know how the bad batch would react to hearing them call you a failure and once again thank you:)

Aloha!

Thank you so much! :)) I'm sorry to read about that troubled relationship with your parents! You'd like to see how the boys react to the reader's parents calling the reader a failure? Interesting question. Let me give this a try...

The Bad Batch x Reader - Dealing With Condescension

Warnings: Angst/Tension/Mention Of Parental Mental and Verbal Abuse

_______________

Hunter

His very first reaction is disbelief. Hunter can neither believe nor grasp what he has just heard. At first, he thinks this can only be a bad joke, he sees no reason or logic in what was just thrown at you.

He repeats quietly, more to himself than to anyone else, "A failure?"

As soon as he realizes that you are being met with serious condescension, anger boils up inside him. He remains calm, however, as he says, "Maybe we should go. You are obviously not appreciated here."

He will not get involved in any discussions with your parents, he will rather make sure that you come with him to first gain distance from the situation and ask yourself if this happens often.

He doesn't like it, Hunter is obviously not very eager to meet your parents again, but he will also be reluctant to leave you alone with them now that he knows how you are treated there. In fact, he's pretty shocked by it and in solidarity feels hurt by their statements as well. Hunter just can't imagine why anyone would say that to you.

You can always count on him to comfort you when you need it and to defend you in future incidents like this.

Echo

He frowns, his eyes narrowing critically. Echo clears his throat and says, clearly but also calmly, "That was uncalled-for, don't you think?"

Echo is not afraid to argue, and he will fierily defend you and tell your parents what he thinks. He won't lash out, he won't yell, but he makes his point. Echo tells them what a wonderful person you are in his eyes and that their behavior is unacceptable.

He has a strong sense of justice and protective instinct, Echo can be incredibly persistent and stubborn in this regard. Unless you stop him or your parents kick him out, he will continue to argue until he feels his message has been received.

Should they kick him out, however, he won't leave without you, if only to make sure you're not subjected to further mental abuse.

"You are not a failure. You are a perfectly wonderful person in so many ways, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Wrecker

At the very first moment, he feels pure confusion, and you can see it on his face. He stands there silently and looks puzzled. Wrecker just can't imagine why anyone would say that to you, let alone your parents. When he slowly realizes that the situation is not a bad joke but actually serious, he gently grabs your shoulder and pushes you behind him.

Automatically, he wants to protect you and shield you from the negative situation. He acts demure and calm, but you feel as you gently grab his arm how tense he is.

"I think we'll go, the evening doesn't seem to be very promising," he growls seriously.

It doesn't matter what your parents do and say, he won't argue, the only thing he will say to them is, "That was hurtful and inappropriate, I am appalled by your behavior, I love this person and so should you, for other reasons but in no way less."

He is angry, but he is acting much calmer than he feels.

In Wrecker, you always have a protector, advocate and loving partner.

"Don't listen to this nonsense, you are wonderful!"

Tech

The cautious, gentle smile that had been on his lips during the greeting disappears. Tech blinks and observes the situation for a brief moment. He doesn't react immediately but has to let what happened sink in first, he didn't expect this at all.

Tech takes you aside at a later time and asks you what it's all about, why your parents would say something like that to you, and whether it's happened before. When you tell him everything, he takes you in his arms and holds you gently.

"This is outrageous," he says quietly but firmly, "We should go."

No matter what your parents say, he leaves the house with you. Tech doesn't miss the chance to explain in detail why you are a great person and don't deserve such treatment. Until he finally leaves with the words, "I am more than disappointed by this encounter. Unfortunately, I can't exactly say that I'm looking forward to another meeting." He says goodbye to your parents, with you in tow.

Tech can't muster any understanding for this behavior, and he doesn't want to. You're a great person, he adores you, and he knows you don't deserve this, which is exactly what he's telling you.

Crosshair

It took him a long time to get to know your parents, and now he has every reason to avoid them in the future. He does not discuss, he acts. Crosshair grabs your arm and pulls you with him.

"We're leaving."

Getting you out of there and getting out of there himself are his first impulses he follows.

Once you're out of there and in a quiet place where you can talk, he says, "Why didn't you tell me about that?"

But before you can answer, he raises his hand.

"No, that's all right. That was a stupid question."

He sighs and puts his hand on your cheek, looking at you piercingly.

"You realize, I hope, that what they said is total bullshit".

He leans his forehead against yours, he doesn't lose many words, but you know him by now, his body language, the way he touches you and talks to you is probably more than a thousand words could say. Crosshair will always have your back.

"We're not going back to your parents-at least not until they contact you and apologize," he says softly.

Don't worry, if you don't have your own apartment, Crosshair will find a solution. In a pinch, you'll live with him and his brothers on the Marauder, but he won't let you back into that toxic environment. Unless, of course, you insist.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@starwarsnerd111

[childotkw]

I love your ruination au! I have so many questions like when will it be posted? How many chapters? Will Otto and Chrispin get turn into dragon feed? What are everyone's reaction like? And most importantly, does Lucemond get married?

Everyone talks about wanting to see Daemon and Rhaenyra’s reactions to Lucemond but what about Jace or Aegon's reactions? It'll be hilarious. Them two older brothers bonding over their younger idiot clueless brothers.

I kinda want Luke to have a lock of white hair maybe caused by the storm's lighting or something cooler. Makes him look like he was touched not just by The Stranger but by the gods of Old Valyria themselves.

And since Luke likes to bite, Daemon will definitely teach him to include that into his combat fighting as well. Like just imagine doe-eye smol Luke just ripping a man's throat out with his teeth? His bottom face painted with blood? Cannibal will probably roar with proud victory. And Aemond doesn't know if he should be scared or turn on by that.

Don't mind me but just picturing:

When Rhaenyra’s soldiers found out Lucerys will be leading them into battle as commander, a lot of them are irritated and some even scoffed openly at how obvious the nepotism was. A young boy barely 15 years old has no place being in that position of power.

Until he silently lands with Cannibal to meet his skeptical fleet of soldiers. Cannibal doesn't roar, breathe flames or even land heavily to immediately command their attention. The silence in the courtyard was deafening. How could a creature so big be so utterly quiet?

But he draws himself up to his full height so every man can see the multitude of scars that adorned his body and be reminded exactly why he is called Cannibal. This was a dragon even before House Targaryen and lived through archaic times. And who feeds on other dragons.

Lucerys then emerge out of nowhere and the men are confused. There are no signs of a harness on Cannibal, surely the young prince did not rode his dragon without any equipment?

But they see his thicker leathers, the silver lock standing out in his brown hair, the dark unsettling look in his stone cold eyes, and realise he did. Lucerys quietly took in the faces of the men he will lead, nodded once and strode off to his tent without a word. When they looked back to where his dragon was, Cannibal had disappeared. What?

The uneasiness prevented even the most loud-mouthers from voicing their doubts though. The stupid ones who did went missing but emerged days later, shaking and a shell of their former selves.

Then, in their first battle against Green troops, Lucerys led them to victory and went and ripped an enemy's throat out with his bare teeth.

No one questioned his leadership since then.

Thank you! To answer the first few: not sure when I'll post but hopefully soon, not sure on chapter count but I'll tentatively aim for twenty as a max, I shan't reveal what will happen to Otto and Cole but I am critical of their characters so that might bleed through in my writing, there are too many people to list what all their reactions will be but I hope to do them all justice when the time comes, and as for marriage...perhaps.

I think Jace's reaction to Aemond would be an immediate and stern 'no'. He does not want his baby brother with their psycho uncle that almost killed him - but he also knows that Lucerys has become a bit unhinged and so he's pitting his need to protect him against the knowledge that Lucerys is now fully capable of tearing Aemond apart if he hurts him.

With Aegon, I'm currently writing him as a bit of an asshole. He definitely had an inkling that Aemond was more than interested in Lucerys since basically forever. So he's less surprised and more cynically amused by the hole his brother has dug himself into.

And lmao Aemond's wires are crossed because he gets uncomfortably hot whenever Lucerys bares his teeth at him. Everyone side-eyes him because he's really not subtle.

Also, I love the little scene! The unease and disbelief from people, seeing Lucerys rock up without harnesses or saddle or even bloody rope to keep himself in place; and them all knowing the rumours around Cannibal - it just builds a magnificent picture. His reputation would be so goddamn scary once he takes to the battlefield.

[mothra-mcyt]

☾ MCYT's reaction to a gen z reader ☽

!Warnings: mentions of self deprecating jokes!

》 Dream 《

That guy loves your chaotic energy and always pranks other people with you

Would definitely laugh along with your depressing jokes but after a while would get concerned and ask if you're okay

Immediately puts you into the Dream SMP thinking you're gonna be a good character always on his side

Then you end up just end up annoying him (especially when he's in prison) so he threatens you

You can't keep yourself together and just end up having a laugh flash

You once definitely called him a chad for watching football and a boomer which lead to him getting very defensive

》 George 《

Would honestly just end up annoying and pranking Dream with you

You would definitely call him a bottom on multiple occasions. At one point he just accepts it

Gets very concerned at your jokes

You guys definitely make weird tiktoks together

Will just go along with it when you start ranting about how capitalism is the source of all evil

He will also be a victim of your pranks and he can't do anything about it

》 Sapnap 《

Would definitely make jokes about committing arson with you (sometimes he doesn't know if you're joking or being serious about committing arson)

You two are dnf biggest shippers and no i don't take any criticism

When he finds out how touch starved you are he will definitely ask if you two ca platonically cuddle together

You would also be his biggest enemy though always saying how you're going to fight him when you meet him

Will ask you if you have eaten and how much to make sure you eat enough

Definitely anime marathons on discord together when you both can't sleep

》 Badboyhalo 《

This man would be so concerned

Even if you don't swear he still wants to say language at all the self deprecating things you say

You tell him that you don't care that he has a gun and knows how to throw knifes to which he asks why because people should definitely be afraid of that in his opinion

When you tell him that you don't care if you die he gets so much more concerned

Would be the parent who always stops you from doing stupid and dangerous shit 24/7

You definitely called him a boomer once when he said "Language"

》 Awesamdude 《

That man is taking care of you and making sure you’re okay 24/7

After you told him that you haven’t slept in 2 days with you’re reasoning being “Why not” he always makes sure that you get at least 8 hours of sleep per day

Honestly just dad energy

We know that literally half of gen z have daddy issues and when he finds out you didn’t have a good father figure growing up he’s like “I’m your dad now.”

“Have you drank water today?” “Does energy drink/iced coffee count as-” “No they don’t count as water. Go get a glass of water right now.”

At first he wanted to stop you from saying self deprecating jokes but after a while he just gave up. 

》 Tommyinnit 《 (platonic)

Chaotic energy²

When the two of you have a plan no one will be able to stop you even harder if Tubbo is with you guys

Honestly just laughs about your self deprecating jokes and says “same”

The two of you have never respected authorities in your entire life and you two will not start

As soon as someone talks shit about the other person hell breaks loose and their ego will get completely destroyed

When role playing on the Dream SMP you guys will definitely just laugh at Dream trying to be threatening  

》 Tubbo 《 (platonic)

Depressing jokes. 24/7.You know it’s true. (The people around you will be so concerned for the two of you oh god)

We know very well that Tubbo is not innocent and flirts (makes sex jokes) as a joke with other people his age so he would definitely do that with you if you’re comfortable

The two of you will definitely stay up til the middle of the night playing games (chess, csgo, minecraft etc.)

Whenever someone (probably an authority) is trying to get you guys to do something both of you are just like: No <3

》 Fundy 《

Honestly he completely relates to you

The being touch starved, the loneliness

Difference is he is not used to people joking about those topics to cope

So he's very concerned

"Y/N this is really relatable but are you okay?"

Streams with you two sometimes just end as therapy sessions and both of you desperately need it

He always drags you along to prank people and when the person gets mad he blames it on you and just leaves

》 Wilbur 《

Big brother energy

You are now his little sibling and you cannot stop him

Will definitely cause much chaos with you (poor Philza trying to keep you two under control)

When you two do dangerous stuff he's the one making sure you don't hurt yourself

Whenever someone is mean to you he will definitely destroy them

Will make sure you get enough sleep and will keep you company when you can't sleep

He absolutely loves that you don't give a shit if someone is an authority or not

》 Schlatt 《

He absolutely hates how you not give a shit about what he says to you and how you just roast him

His humor is already broken so he's probably laugh at your jokes and while trying to stop himself from laughing he'll ask if you're okay

Honestly he's just confused on how you're still alive with not taking care of yourself and always getting yourself into dangerous situations

You definitely called him a boomer once

You guys would probably make political jokes constantly

》 Technoblade 《

Anarchy. Lots of it.

Both of you have just random conversation where you start talking about the things you're obsessed with

Both of you are probably gonna have a short attention spam leading to a lot of funny situations

Absolutely loves how you don't give a shit about authorities

Being awkward together in social situations but standing up for eachother

I can just imagine you with the "He asked for no pickles" meme while he doesn't know what to say

》 Philza 《

He is your dad now and he doesn't care if you want him to be.

(He honestly already kinda expected your father figure to be shitty because he knows his audience)

Oh lord when he finds out how you're not able to take care of yourself

When meeting you irl will actually sit down with you and have a talk about you not taking care of yourself

You: "Sometimes i'll just sleep for 14 hours and then i won't sleep for 3 days."

Phil: "...I will punt you into the sun when i meet you irl you idiot."

I could honestly write so much more about Philza basically adopting a young reader

》 Ranboo 《 (platonic)

Constant sassyness

Gen Z x 2

You two would understand eachother so well

Constant zoomer slang and no one except Tubbo and Tommy will be able to understand it

Both of your humor is just so broken and it's so concerning to everyone

Someone is being like "You will do as i say" and you two are just like "No i don't think i will"

Tiktok references. Constantly.

Sending eachother tiktok's about the other's character

》 Eret 《

You two would be good friends honestly

Eret would probably bring out the wholesome part of your personality

Also sending eachother tiktok's and making tiktok references

Arson. Lots of arson. Fire pog.

You will bring out their chaotic side

She loves how you just not give a shit about authorities

Will also make sure that you drink enough water and take care of yourself

》 Quackity 《

He's more random chaos and you're more dangerous and destructive chaos and somehow that works together really well

Definitely invites you to Jack Box streams because you just bring such funny energy into it and chat absolutely loves you

Is very concerned tho when you make self deprecating jokes and when he hears you say one he just looks completely shocked

Completely freaks out whenever you roast someone who's being a bitch (you can just hear the "Where are the askers" playing in the background)

Very dramatic energy from the both of you

Masterlist

[uvobreakmylegs]

Homecoming

got a request for reader seeing a report about the phantom troupe’s crimes and being critical of them while also unknowingly being in a relationship with one of them. for no member in particular so I chose Phinks

Warnings: mentions of death

When Phinks walked through the front door and announced that he had returned, you were quick to rush over from whatever part of the house you had been in previously to go greet him, barely waiting for him to dump his bag on the floor before you went in for a hug.

Phinks chuckled as he wrapped his arms around you in return, holding you close as you pressed your face into him. There was just something sweet about how genuinely happy you were to see him after he would come back from a mission, how eager you were to hold and kiss him again. From his perspective, it hadn't felt all that long, but your time spent apart was likely different for you.

“Missed you too,” he said.

“Did everything go okay?” you asked, pulling away a little so you could look at him.

“Yeah, it was fine.”

“That's good. I'm glad it all went well.”

You probably wouldn't have felt that way if you had known what Phinks had actually been doing on his 'business trip'; if you'd known that he and a portion of the troupe had attacked an art museum a few states away, killing everyone inside and grabbing some pieces that had caught Chrollo's attention, your reaction to him would've been something more akin to disgust.

Good thing you didn't know, then.

“Oh yeah,” Phinks said as he pulled away from you, “Got a present for you.”

“Oh?”

Phinks reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a necklace made up of alternating beads of gold and sapphire. He enjoyed the way your eyes widened as he presented it to you.

“Oh, that's pretty!” you exclaimed as you took it from him, “how did you find this?”

“Just happened to see it,” he said.

The statement wasn't untrue. Phinks had been walking through a section of the museum, making sure he had taken care of whatever stragglers they could've missed before they went about stealing the items they had come for. The necklace had been hanging on the other side of a glass display case, and when he had caught sight of it, his immediate thought was that it would be perfect for you, already imagining what it would look like around your neck. He then smashed through the glass and pocketed the necklace before returning to the task at hand.

The thing must have had some significance for it to be displayed there, but he hadn't bothered reading any of the information that had been printed below where it had hung. The history of it didn't really matter much, after all. Just as long as you liked it.

While you were still admiring it, you glanced back up at him.

“This looks expensive. You didn't spend too much on this, did you?” you asked.

Phinks laughed a little before shaking his head as he answered “I promise that I didn't spend a lot.”

You seemed satisfied with that answer as you undid the clasp at the back.

“Need me to do that for you?” he asked.

“Sure!” you answered happily, handing it back.

You turned around, and Phinks placed the necklace around your throat, pulling it up slightly so he could clearly see where to hook it before letting go so it hung around your neck. Your fingers were already playing with the beads when you turned back around to him.

“Does it look good?” you asked.

“It looks great,” Phinks said.

You smiled at him again and leaned forward to press a quick kiss on his cheek. Phinks didn't allow you to pull away after, though, wrapping his arms around you once more so he could give you a long kiss on the lips. When he finally let you pull away, you seemed a bit embarrassed.

“Thank you, Phinks,” you said, looking back down at the necklace, “I love it.”

“I'm glad.”

“I'll have to check my closet to see if I have anything good to go with this.”

“You look fine with what you're wearing now.”

“Hmm. I'm not sure,” you answered, “feels more like something I should wear with something fancy. I did see a cute dress at the mall the other day that would probably go well with it. Might use this as an excuse to buy it.”

Phinks smiled, picking his bag up off the floor as he told you “whatever makes you happy.”

After dinner, the two of you found yourselves relaxing on the couch in front of the TV that you had turned on earlier with the intent of watching something, but that plan had been forgotten as the two of you spent the time catching up, Phinks holding a can of beer while you sipped at your own drink. The banter between you two was light, with Phinks telling you only mildly interesting details from his trip and trying to keep the topic on whatever locations he had visited and steer away from what sort of business he'd been doing in the northern part of Saherta.

“I wish you could take me with you sometime,” you said as you took another sip of your drink.

“I'm jealous that you get to travel so much.”

“These aren't the kind of trips where I can let you tag along. I'm busy the whole time,” Phinks answered.

“Not even if I stay in the hotel room while you do your work?” you asked.

“You really want to spend hours on the road just to be cooped up in a hotel room for weeks on end?”

You laughed at that, obviously having not meant it when you made the suggestion.

“Besides,” Phinks continued, “the accommodations aren't as nice as you might think.”

Chrollo had some weird kind of talent in finding abandoned buildings for the troupe to use as a base wherever they went for a job. Which usually meant sleeping on the cold hard floor. It was typically an uncomfortable few weeks but it wasn't anything that Phinks or the others couldn't handle.

“Really?” you asked, “that's surprising. What kind of places do you usually stay at, then?”

“Nothin' too great, but it won't kill me,” he said, shrugging.

“Hmm. I thought your boss would've at least gotten you someplace nice to stay with how long you spend out on these trips. Didn't think he was like that.”

The reasons for staying in abandoned buildings were purely practical. If they were off the grid there were less chances of their temporary base being stumbled upon. There was also the issue of how unusual the group looked when they were all together and they'd be noticed right away if they stayed too long in a place like an ordinary hotel.

Instead, Phinks just shrugged again.

“Sometimes corners need to be cut,” he said.

“Hm.”

It seemed as though the conversation was drawing to a close, and as the voices from the TV that he was only half-paying attention to continued to drawl on, Phinks had half a mind to hoist you up over his shoulder and take you to bed that way. Taking another swig from beer, he noted that the thing was nearly empty. Just as good of a reason as any to insist on going to the bedroom.

But when he placed it to the side and turned back to you, he immediately noticed how your mood had changed. The smile that had been on your face nearly all evening was now gone, replaced by a solemn looked as you watched the TV screen.

Glancing over to where you were looking, Phinks internally cursed at himself for not switching away from the news channel.

“-still at a loss as to what occurred on the twenty-first of this month. All individuals who were in the building, an estimated seventy people consisting of visitor and employee alike, vanished and investigators have yet to discover any leads as to where they might have gone. Just as baffling as the disappearances, three entire wings of the museum were found completely cleared out. Included among the works stolen were statues from the Begerosse Union that caused some controversy when the museum acquired them a few months back-”

“Do you think those people are still alive?” you asked quietly, your eyes still on the screen.

“.... I don't think that many people can disappear and not be dead,” he answered.

That response upset you more than he had expected as your frown only grew deeper.

“That's horrible. How can people do that? And for what reason?”

Phinks didn't answer, instead grabbing his beer and draining the rest of it. In this instance, silence was just as valid of an answer. It would have been just as easy to say “I don't know”, but in these situations he always worried about saying something that would've made light of the issue and cause you to be upset with him.

Even if he had genuinely tried to explain the troupe's actions to you, there was nothing he could say to you that would ever justify the things that they did. He knew you well enough to know that, in your mind, it would never be acceptable.

The reporter on the news channel was going on more about the state the museum had been found in now, and the TV screen now showed a still shot of a sketchbook that had been scattered across the marble floor in one of the many halls.

Ah, he remembered that one.

Chrollo stood over the body of someone who seemed young-ish. Probably an art student of some kind as they'd been practicing their drawing skills by copying some renaissance painting.

It wasn't anything of note, but Phinks noticed Chrollo looking over some of the sketchbook papers that had scattered for longer than what seemed normal, his boss even going as far as to pick up a page to look at it closer.

“Something wrong, boss?” Phinks had asked.

“Just a slight shame,” Chrollo answered as he looked at the page, “they were talented. Perhaps in the future they could have made something that would've been worth stealing.”

Phinks looked at where the body lay at his bosses feet, commenting “won't be making much of anything now.”

“Indeed,” Chrollo said, chuckling a little as he dropped the page, allowing it to flutter to the floor.

Chrollo looked at him, and he noticed a bit of the necklace that was sticking out of his pocket.

“Souvenir, Phinks?”

“Somethin' like that,” he answered as he pushed the necklace all the way into his jacket pocket.

Chrollo didn't seem to mind.

“Whoever it's for, I hope they like it,” he said.

“Phinks,” you said suddenly, taking him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Weren't you in that area during your trip?” you asked, pointing at the TV.

“Ah, yeah, I think so,” he said.

That answer only seemed to make you more upset, based off the way your frown deepened further and how you were clutching your drink with both hands as you continued looking at the screen.

“What's wrong?” Phinks asked.

“... It's scary.”

“What is?”

“That you were that close by when something like that happened – what if you'd gotten mixed up in all of that? If you died?” you asked him, “I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you.”

You glanced back to him after saying that before you looked back down to your drink, running your fingers along the design that had been cut into the glass.

Phinks stayed quiet, and he was honestly amazed with himself that he had managed to keep his expression neutral after you said that.

On the one hand, he wanted to laugh. That you were worried that he could've met with the same fate as the “missing” seventy or so people when in fact he had likely caused the deaths of at least half of them. But while he didn't enjoy seeing you upset, he couldn't help but feel a little good that you genuinely worried for him. That you cared about him so much that the idea of losing him was that awful for you.

You wouldn't know what to do, huh?

“Nothing's going to happen to me,” he told you, putting a hand on your shoulder and giving you a light shake.

“Okay?”

His words seemed to reassure you, as you allowed yourself a small smile as you nodded at him.

When you took another swig of your own drink, you ended up finishing it, and soon after you stood so you could go place the empty glass in the kitchen sink.

“Did you need another?” you asked, looking at his beer can.

“Nah, it's fine.”

With a short nod you left the room.

Perfect timing, too, as the news report was now going into more detail about the crime. Specifically on the pieces from the museum that had been stolen, beginning with the more attention-grabbing pieces and making their way down them in a list.

Phinks wasn't sure if they would make any mention the necklace he had taken for you. If it was a comprehensive list they might, though it would be quite a long list for a TV report to fit in as they had taken quite a bit. And for now the focus currently seemed to be on the statues that had come from the Begerosse Union. It was possible they wouldn't even mention the necklace, determining it to be something insignificant in the long run.

Still, wouldn't be a good idea to risk it. He also hadn't enjoyed how sad the news report had made you. Grabbing the remote, Phinks flipped through a few different channels before he found one that had absolutely nothing to do with the news. He hoped it didn't, at least. He couldn't quite tell since all that was playing at the moment were commercials.

Might be a good idea to keep an eye on what channels you were watching for the next few days.

“Why'd you change it?” you asked when you walked back in.

“It was upsetting you.”

Your mood dropped again, and now you felt bad for feeling depressed, no doubt.

“Sorry,” you said.

“Don't say sorry,” he told you, “besides, I'd rather not hear about depressing shit right after getting back.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

Something seemed to flip in you at that moment, and suddenly you were back to how you had been previously, smiling at him as you told him “you're tired, right? You should go get some rest.”

Phinks cocked his head.

“You not joining me?”

“I'd like to, but I've got some stuff that I need to get finished up first. But I'll be with you soon.”

“Alright.”

Stretching out his arms as he made his way to the shared bedroom, cracking his neck as he entered. The cramped accommodations of the airship had done a number on him again. Maybe tomorrow he could get you to give him a massage.

After he'd gone to bed, it didn't take too long before you joined him, changing in the bathroom seemingly with the intent to not disturb him too much. Although that changed when you poked your head out through the door to whisper his name in a way to try and see if he was still awake.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Did the necklace come with some kind of box?”

“No, it didn't have anything like that,” Phinks answered.

“Ah. Okay.”

“Does it matter?”

“Just thinking I should keep it in something nice. It's a gift from you, after all,” you told him.

He smirked to himself.

“Whatever makes you happy.”

Soon after, you climbed into bed beside him, your hands feeling around before you found him in the dark of the room. You laid down next to him, and one of his arms came to wrap around you.

“Sorry about earlier,” you whispered to him.

“Don't worry about it.”

His gruff answer made you smile, and you leaned forward to give him a quick peck to the edge of his lips.

“You can keep doing that, though,” he said, amusement clear in his voice.

You giggled a little, then snuggled in closer to him.

“Thank you again for the present, Phinks,” you said, “I really do love it.”

He hummed, holding you closer in response before he whispered at you to go to sleep. As you complied and began to drift off in his arms, Phinks found himself wondering:

How much would you hate him if you knew the things he had done to get you such a gift?

[livinginmystars]

U.A Boys - Their s/o getting hurt during training

A small reaction scenario where you get hurt during training and they notice it

Miu -> your name e/c -> eye color h/c -> hair color

≺⋅⋅⋅≻

Izuku Midoriya

Being used to hurting himself with his quirk before, he's learned to spot right away when there's a problem, no matter how little.

As you're mostly being careful in training it probably wouldn't be something bad, most likely something akin to a sprained wrist or ankle

And he'd notice it when he approaches so he might not go on full panic but still would recommend to go to the nurse's office

You managed to take the blow quite well considering how it almost arrived straight in your face. It ended up with a sprained wrist as you blocked an attack from Ojiro. The boy immediately apologizes when he notices that you're gently holding and rubbing your own wrist. You'd give a smile to the blond boy, shaking your head.

"It's fine, don't worry. It doesn't hurt that much." You reassure your training partner before going to explain the situation to Aizawa who shrugs and mutters that training's finished anyway.

Being the ever observant boyfriend that he is, Izuku doesn't miss the way you're massaging you wrist when you join him outside of the locker room. He tilts his head, a small frown coming onto his face.

"y/n-chan...? Are you okay?" He then seems to realise and a very small hiss passes his lips. "How much does it hurt?"

"Not much, it's probably just sprained." You tell him with a gentle smile to reassure the boy. "I'm gonna make a stop by the nurse's office before going home. It'll be fine."

Izuku gives you a happy smile in return and immediately offer to accompany you, which you obviously accept, taking any chance you have to spend time with him. He'd also give you some advices for any potential muscle pain that could come with the training and it'd make you chuckle because he tells them to you every time and every time he forgets he already mentionned them.

But the fact that he always wants to help is too cute for you to rebuke him anyway.

Katsuki Bakugo

If it's quite a bad wound, he'd just completely blow up whoever your partner was. However, if it's not that bad, he'll probably call you an idiot and scold you for being careless.

Once again, training with your classmate wouldn't be dangerous, however if it's a training with class B, it always tends to get out of hand very quickly

You can easily imagine he'd be fuming when you come back with a strong limp and a few bruise after fighting with a student from class B

(you'd probably have gotten mad and Monoma because he criticized Katuki and things escalated-)

"YOU FUCKING SHITTY COPYCAT EXTRA I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

You could be telling him again and again that you'll be fine, the explosive boy would still be fuming and screaming all his anger on Monoma. Kirishima is holding him back from actually fighting him while Kaminari or Sero offers to help you with your limp. The other boy would probably be struggling against Kendo's grip to respond Bakugo, only making him more angry.

Seeing as things are starting to degenerate, it would be Aizawa that turns to you, clearly annoyed at your boyfriend's antic, making his request obvious.

"Get him to shut up." He demands, before insisting. "Please."

You'd have to hold back a small laugh at how nobody ever knows how to make Bakugo calm again and would always turn to you. You also catch Sero's hesitant look from your side, almost questionning how you're going to do it and you'd just turn to the explosive boy, a smirk on your lips.

"Hey Kat, how about you do your job as a boyfriend instead of answering this dumbass' provocation?" You'd provoke him, knowing better than anyone that if there's anything that catches his attention, it's a challenge or a provocation.

It doesn't miss as the blond head turns to you, first glaring at you but it doesn't take long for you to notice that the anger in his eyes slightly diminishes. Bakugo then stomps over to you, grumbling a few words under his breath.

"Are you fucking calling me a bad boyfriend you idiot?"He shoves Sero away without any care in the world then looks down to check your ankle to see how bad it is.

"I would have if you had continued to argue with him." You'd tease him, before seeing him crouch in front of you, his angry frown still on his face.

"Shut it and get on my back before I leave you there to walk to the nurse's office." He scolds you as you don't hesitate much longer to settle yourself against him, a smile on your lips.

"Well aren't you such a nice boyfriend~." You tease, tilting your head to press a kiss to his cheek, making him mad again as he complains about you being too cheeky.

So even though he's grumbling and getting "angry" at you he still carries you all the way to the the nurse's office and will even complain when you tell him that he can set you down and simply let you lean onto him. "No you're not getting down. It'll only make it worse and I'll have to look after you again."

Todoroki Shoto

Ever the caring and worried baby he is

If he sees that you've gotten hurt, he'll calmly make his way to you to make sure that it doesn't hurt too much

It's not even his intention but seeing him rush over to you, your partner woul probably apologize before Shoto waves it off, saying this kind of thing happen

If you need it he'll be quick to use his ice quirk to soothe any pain

"Where does it hurt?" He asks in a calm voice as you sit down on a bench near the training grounds.

"It's okay, I think it's just a few bruises, nothing bad." You reassure him before chuckling when he gives you the puppy eyes, clearly wanting to help. "It's just my waist, I'll be okay Shoto..."

Nonetheless, in the next moment, you have to hold back a small squeak as his right hand slides under your top, just enough so it's resting against your waist as his quirk feels all too cold against your skin. Moreover, it makes you feel a little shy how he didn't even hesitate to place his hand under your top.

"Shoto!" You squeal despite the giggle that passes your lips. "Give me a warning maybe next time." You tease, cheeks a little red.

He'd give you a sorry smile and even press a kiss to your cheek as he mumbles an apology. Yet you'd find it difficult to be mad at him when his hand would slowly massage your waist, the cold actually numbing the pain you had felt after the hits. The two of you would stay like this for a few minutes before the pain disappears (at least for now) and you gently take his hand back from your waist with a smile.

"Thanks Sho. You're the best." You'd compliment him, kissing his forehead, bringing the prettiest blush to his cheeks.

Shoto would offer to go relax in his dorm, taking your hand in his and without any hesitation, you accept, holding onto his arm. Despite reassuring him that you're alright, he'd insist that you tell him if it comes back. This would give an idea as you lean into his sides, laying your head on his shoulder.

"You know, there's something that really helps with muscle pain if you want Shoto..." You'd attract his attention on you, giving him a cheeky smile. "Cuddles~."

Your comment would make him chuckle as he smiles , hand tightening around yours. "I'd gladly help with that." (touch-starved baby is never saying no to cuddles)

Shinso Hitoshi

As he's always training with Aizawa, he's learned to pay attention to details and especially to watch for potential injuries.

He'd be training with you for a change and it would probably be on accident that you'd end up hurt.

Actually, you'd both slightly hurt each other leading to a mix of an awkward and a funny situation as you leave Recovery Girl who healed the two of you.

"So... I'm sorry about that..." He'd point at your forearm, which you're rubbing, offering you a sheepish smile.

"And I'm sorry for that." You'respond with a chuckle, mentionning to his fingers that are now bandaged.

The two of you let out a small, amused chuckle walking together to leave the school grounds. Thankfully, nothing was really bad considering that it's just a bruise because of a strong hit for you and bruised fingers for Shinso. The bandages are actually there only for him to remember not to apply too much pressure on it.

"Kind of ironic about how we wanted to have an easy, casual training and yet we ended up hurting each other." You'd say, looking at him from the corner of your eyes.

"Sorry, I guess I still have some troubles adjusting the fighting style with the ribbons..." He'd mumble and shake his head. "Yet I see you've also gotten stronger, I mean you fought back well." Shinso compliments, sending you a smile.

You'd feel giddy at the compliment but wouldn't hesitate to reassure him that he's doing well too. After all, if the teachers are starting to consider letting him join the Hero Department it means he's really gotten better and better. You'd come close enough to press a kiss to his cheek and almost as a reflex, his arm would wrap around your waist to keep you close to him.

"I can't wait to have you in my class next year, we'll get to train together more often and we'll share the same lessons."

"Who says we'll be together and not in the separate classes?" He teases, which makes you pout a little.

"Because I have a very good feeling Aizawa will try to keep you in familiar environment."

Shinso wouldn't say anything more but would kiss your lips before starting to head towards the school dorms to accompany you back.

"But I promise next time I'll be more careful during training." He mumbles against the top of your head, making you roll your eyes as you pinch his cheek, a teasing smile on your lips.

"I'm not made of glass Toshi."

[furiousgoldfish]

Learning more about trauma recovery, I realized that even if we all have similar cptsd symptoms (emotional flashbacks, inner shame and guilt, abandonment issues, fear of other's negative reactions to us, fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, highly anxious behaviour, perfectionism, catastrophizing, chronic exhaustion and pain, panic attacks, struggle expressing anger, dissociation, grief, negative thinking, fear of the future, hopelessness, suicidal ideation) it's usually one or two of them that are specifically strong and tako a hold of someone's entire personality. For instance, someone will try to find a way out of fear by constantly doing more and more and try to always be perfect, another one will freeze and do nothing in a stressful situation; some will avoid people altogether, some will run from one painful relationship to another. Some might find their inner critic so powerful they get unable to do anything due to the constant shame and berating from inside of their head, and some will sink into dissociation and numbness in order to withstand being alive.

For me, it was the inner catastrophizer that was so loud, overbearing, and impossible to fight; I hadn't recognized it as a trauma symptom because I believed every bit of it was true. My imagined catastrophe was dying from lack of resources, or being tortured to death. Both felt like a very likely scenarios to happen because I do live in poverty, with minimal resources, and I've already experienced torture so it seemed like it's highly possible for it to happen again. I couldn't see that I've survived years on my own, without any help, and that I've became more resourceful than most people, or that I had saved myself from torture and kept myself safe. Every single time a minor stress would appear, I would spiral into wild scenarios of myself homeless, dying, or in unbearable pain. It would trigger a nervous breakdown, lots of flashbacks, panic attacks, and bring me to such highly anxious state I wouldn't be able to move for days. I didn't see a way out of this, I believed I was brainwashed to experience this over and over again, and panicked severely when it started getting worse.

It was only when I found out about other survivors having the exact same imagined catastrophy, I was able to see it was fake. People with jobs, friends, family, loved ones, resources and safety, were having the exact same fear of dying homeless. Circumstances don't matter to the catastrophizer, it will find a path to your worst, most painful scenario even if it's next to impossible for it to happen.

Reading the 'Complex PTSD' book, I learned that these catastrophic thoughts can and should be de-escalated and stopped in their tracks by a stream of logical, factual thoughts that challenge the unlikeliness and fakeness of the imaginary disaster. I trained my mind to do it immediately, unspeakably relieved to know it's something I can do on my own, it's do-able, it's progress I can make just by arguing with my own thoughts!

Ever since that day, I haven't allowed myself to spiral into a catastrophic thoughts once, and it's done wonders for my recovery. It was like dragging myself from the bottom of the pit to a place where I could breathe again. I only now acknowledge how extremely damaging it was on my body to be broken down like that regularly, how impossible it was to live always followed by that terror, how unreasonable it was to expect from myself to endure it. I still break down a lot, but from grief, which is healthy for me to break down about, and it doesn't throw me into a paralyzing pit of terror.

I also need to acknowledge that this is not something I'd be able to do at the beginning of the recovery; at the start I had every single symptom screaming in my face, it was all I could do to stay alive thru it all. Over the course of several years, a lot of the symptoms quieted down on their own, just because I was getting used to life in a non-abusive environment. The catastrophizer was one that kept getting bigger and more stressful as others got smaller and more manageable.

I believe most of my symptoms died down because I was allowing myself to seek out a comfort zone; giving myself a place to feel safe and not triggered by whatever, gave me a lot of peace, a refuge to hide in. After finding a little peace of the world I was safe in, this world began to expand, until I saw a way to have a life in it. It has its limits, of course, and if I try doing certain things I will absolutely get triggered and my well-being will be obliterated. But I'm not looking for a life where I can do everything. Only to stay alive, and to not be in terror. It's a humble yet very complicated desire for a traumatized person to have.

I no longer have to actively stop my catastrophic thoughts; my brain now does it for me. If I start spiraling, a voice in my head will go 'Wait a minute, that doesn't sounds realistic, isn't it more likely x will happen and it will be okay? Come on, you don't have to be terrified about this, because it's not real. It will be okay, and here's every single instance where a similar event went well for you. You will pull thru this one, and even if you don't, the consequence won't be death, or torture, or everyone alive hating you. At worst you will feel slightly bad, so it's okay to feel good now. You've done a lot to get this far. All will be well.'

And that is a very pleasant inner voice to have, and I am grateful for it. I wish so badly that I had this earlier in life, but I guess looking at my parents, there was no way.

What is your worst reoccurring symptom that stops you from progressing in your recovery? If you feel like you're at the stage where you can recognize it and talk about it, it would be beneficial for everyone recovering to read more experiences.