#imaginary psychopath

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

"There is no god. But if there is one, he's an indifferent psychopath at best. A sadist at worst."

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

[image id; black text on a white background that reads ‘i normally like sleeping. just in case i suddenly turn into a crazy psychopath’. the text cuts off here implying there is more to the sentence but has been left out for comedic purposes. end id.]

rereading some of my old writing and holy shit 11yo me knew what was UP

[venussaidso]

Saturn Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟗

In my research, I was delighted to find the magic which resides in the nakshatra Anuradha. Unfortunately, I haven't yet understood Vishakha so I cannot speak on the spiritual journey of Anuradha coming from Vishakha. But there is something about Anuradha that is so powerful that it stands on its own.

This nakshatra literally has the power of transformation (8H) through imagination (mostly occultism but I will be touching a lot on fantasy in this post). It is symbolized by the lotus, a flower that is able to grow in dirty waters as long as there is stillness. This is interesting as I often associate this water sign with a muddy pond-- which would signify Scorpio's ability to navigate through the murky or unseen aspects of life.

In Anuradha, Scorpio uses imagination as a tool to explore themes of humanity or challenge societal norms. Reality can be so harsh for Anuradha that it often escapes to pure fantasies, if not the occult, where they can actually take lessons from other worlds and transform for the better. Here, the still waters represent the real world for Anuradha; reality can be so oppressive and unchanging, and yet the lotus still grows despite its powerlessness over the waters. Their real power is learned from other realms. Here it is imagination that develops the resilience of Anuradha, this resilience and their newfound power signifying Saturn which is the lord that rules over this nakshatra.

The best film to first mention is "Pan's Labyrinth", which is written and directed by Guillermo del Toro who is Anuradha Moon. There is also a book version which was written by him and co-written by Cornelia Funke who is also Anuradha Moon.

The story follows a little girl who lives in the harsh realities of post-war Spain in 1944. She travels with her pregnant mother to go live with a sadistic, psychopathic military officer -- that happens to be her stepfather -- in an extremely isolated area (8H/signs of coming danger).

The little girl discovers a mysterious labyrinth near this remote area, and she meets a mythological creature who reveals to her that she is the reincarnation of the Princess of the Underworld. This faun-like creature then gives her three life-risking tasks to prove herself as the rightful ruler of the Underworld.

A little similar to Alice In Wonderland, as she navigates this magical, fantasy realm in which she encounters many other mythical creatures. Her reality outside remains the same. She still lives under the authority of her evil stepfather who becomes increasingly violent and overbearing. Yet, despite her unchanging reality, the tasks that she was assigned to in the labyrinth prove to be a metaphor of her strength, resilience, and her transformation which helps her face the harsher real world while still retaining her innocence/imagination and morality.

The oppressive figure in her life is something of a prominent theme for Saturn nakshatras so it is interesting how it plays into Anuradha; and how the tasks she was assigned to in this mystical world push her beyond her comfort zone which is Saturn simply refining her through difficulties and the 8H putting her in extremely dangerous situations.

Despite this story being the epitome of Anuradha, I still have some more examples.

The movie "Bridge to Terabithia"; which is about an artistically-driven boy who befriends a girl who is known for her creativity & imagination (played by Anna Sophia Robb who has Rahu in Anuradha). This movie is based on the book with the same name written by Anuradha Moon Katherine Paterson who literally explores the themes of resilience built from imagination to overcome harsh reality.

The two friends team up in creating an imaginary kingdom called Terabithia just in the woods near where they live. This kingdom becomes a place they escape to when they go through extreme difficulties that they as kids are powerless in. They use their imaginations to overcome challenges and build their confidence through.

And, "The Chronicles of Narnia" which was written by C.S. Lewis who was Anuradha Sun.

The story follows the Pevensie siblings during the harsh and challenging reality of World War II. They lived in London but have moved to the countryside due to the bombing raids which have affected their homes. Very interesting how this story also sets in around the times of war where there is loss of all comfort and security -- much like Pan's Labyrinth. Both very 8H themed.

Also, Pevensie siblings are almost all Saturn-ruled nakshatra moons.

And Lucy Pevensie, who is played by Anuradha Moon Georgina Helen Henley, is actually the one who first discovered the world Narnia through the wardrobe (another gateway similar to the labyrinth in the Pan's Labyrinth).

C.S Lewis explored many universal moral and ethical concepts by using Narnia as a sort of playground to take the Pevensie siblings through a journey of self-discovery, redemption, and transformations with many dilemmas they have to face which further builds virtuous character/resilience. They come out all the more wiser and better as people from their journey in Narnia -- and this leads to their eventual crowning as kings and queens of Narnia which further signifies the rewards reaped from Saturn from the total refinement and transformations.

And Aslan, who was voiced by Anuradha Moon Liam Neeson, is an agent of transformation and great influence on each characters' path to growth/redemption.

He encourages virtues such as courage, strength, kindness and sacrifice. His character is very pure, and he even acts as a father figure especially to the youngest sibling, Lucy, who is also Anuradha Moon.

Very interesting how Aslan literally is an important role in the natural order of Narnia as his presence seems to be closely tied with the changing of the seasons and the restoration of harmony in the world of Narnia. This literally bears a resemblance to Lord Mitra's role in maintaining cosmic order and harmony in the universe. Very similarly to Mitra, Aslan embodies virtues like justice and nobility. This character is the embodiment of the retained purity of one's soul in a world full of the push-&-pull of good and evil forces.

Now onto Alice in Wonderland, which was written by Lewis Carroll who was a double Anuradha.

Now, Alice does not seem to come from any hardships at all. She is simply portrayed as a curious little girl whose character still grows in Wonderland. The story shows how she struggles with her identity and fitting in in Wonderland, as this world challenges everything she thought she knew. I did establish that Anuradha seems to use fantasy as a canvas to challenge norms, logic and point to the absurdity of societal norms. These themes are leaning in Ketu territories, and it can validate Scorpio being co-ruled by Ketu as perceptions of reality and the fluidity of truth is often highlighted throughout the story. Especially through the characters Chesire Cat and the Mad Hatter.

A little off topic, but very interesting that Chesire Cat was voiced by Swati Sun Jim Cummings in the 1951 film version and the 2010 version was voiced by Magha Sun&ASC Stephen Fry which is literally just a darker version of the character. This character is very nodal influenced as it understands the madness in Wonderland, shamelessly embracing the absurd nature of the world which may or may not be illusory. (Also, Mad Hatter -- in the 1951 film -- was voiced by Swati Sun Ed Wynn AND Johnny Depp played a darker version of the Mad Hatter in the 2010 film and he has his Ketu conjunct his Moon).

Anyways, Lewis Carroll actually uses the Mad Hatter to shed light on the societal issues of that era. Anuradha utilizing fiction and imagination as a tool to explore Nodal themes would make sense as they have an understanding that the world doesn't really change (but that doesn't stop one from transformation/education). Anuradha is supposed to reject societal norms, but natives can feel really stifled by their reality and even by themselves sometimes.

But this nakshatra literally can unlock the power of bringing imagination to life, which is shown in an obviously exaggerated way in the book "Inkheart" written by Anuradha Moon Cornelia Funke. And the movie based on that was actually directed by Anuradha Sun Iain Softley. This story is about a man, named Silvertongue, who has the ability to bring fictional characters to life from simply just reading a book aloud.

Very interesting that 'Silvertongue' is portrayed by a Jyestha Sun -- Mercury being a function in him speaking things to life.

Now, Anuradha is a Saturn nakshatra which obviously means that the other nakshatras ruled by the same lord will trine it and pick up on very similar themes. So just gonna throw some examples out there.

Like the film "Jumanji" (1995) which starred Pushya Sun Robin Williams who plays a character that got sucked into the world of a mysterious board game since he was a kid. He's brought back to the real world when he's his adult self (Anuradha/Saturn theme of growing and learning survival in another realm) -- but his release comes with the cost of the creatures from the board game being brought into the real-world to wreak havoc. The movie is just a bit similar to Inkheart, in the element of two different worlds colliding; as in Inkheart, the character Silvertongue brings a fictional villain into the real world which leads to a series of dangerous events.

The film "Jumanji" is directed by Joe Johnston who has Rahu in Uttara Bhadrapada and the movie is based on a children's book with the same name written by Uttara Bhadrapada Moon Chris Van Allsburg.

The animated film "Caroline" is written and directed by Anuradha Sun Henry Selick, based on the book with the same name which is written by Pushya Moon author Neil Gaiman.

This story follows a young girl, voiced by Pushya Moon Dakota Fanning, who finds a secret hidden door in the new home she just moved in with her parents. This doorway leads to a parallel world where her 'Other mother' and 'Other father' seem so loving towards her as compared to her real parents who neglect her and are always so busy.

Her 'Other parents' are so attentive to her every desire but as Caroline explores this very twisted reality, she discovers just how sinister 'Other mother' is and the world that was once so perfect to her was actually designed as a trap to keep her there (4H themes). Despite this film having the Anuradha outline of the native finding a doorway to another world, this trope of the evil mother is literally Pushya-coded. Actually, I'll quickly touch on this as this is what I got so far regarding Pushya:

In the film "Tangled", Rapunzel -- voiced by Pushya Moon Mandy Moore -- has been continuously manipulated and exploited by her mother figure, Gothel, who has designed the tower, with which they lived in, as a way to trap Rapunzel in so that she never leaves her side, so that she'll continue exploiting her for the rest of her life. Very obvious that these are Cancer/4H themes mixed together with Saturn -- making the mother the oppressive figure in this Saturnian's life.

I find it interesting that Pushya Sun Gypsy Rose literally identified herself with Rapunzel, having even once said that "Tangled" is her favourite movie. It makes so much sense with what her mother put her through, she literally is Rapunzel in the real world if you think about it.

There is a movie already out that's based on her life events, and she is of course played by a Pushya Sun actress Joey King, in the film "The Act".

Anyways back to Saturn nakshatras being otherwordly; the author of "The Shadowhunters" books is Pushya Sun Cassandra Clare.

There are two media adaptions of her books, and it is fitting that they both star Saturn nakshatra women playing the same character, 'Clary'. At the start of the story, Clary is able to perceive creatures, symbols and buildings invisible to the regular human's eye. She is then involuntarily pulled into a whole new world she didn't think possible, and her character grows from there as she befriends different beings.

In the series version, Anuradha Sun&Moon Katherine McNamara portrays Clary. And the film version, Uttara Bhadrapada Sun Lily Collins plays Clary.

Clary, in the beginning of the story, being able to perceive what any other human couldn't pick up on and being played by both an Anuradha and an Uttara Bhadrapada makes a lot of sense. Anuradha is the truth seeker and Uttara Bhadrapada's deity contains the truths of the world. In the film "The Golden Compass", a young girl discovers a fascinating device, called Golden Compass, which can reveal the truth and answer to any question asked of it.

Any truth she seeks, the answer is always so close. The truth will be easily perceivable to a gifted Saturn nakshatra. The movie of this film is directed by Anuradha Sun Chris Weitz.

Now, my last example. The film "The Neverending Story" is directed by a Ketu in Uttara Bhadrapada native Wolfgang Petersen. The story follows a boy who becomes immersed with a fantasy storybook.

This boy faces hardships in his reality; not only is he bullied at school but he's also experiencing the grief from the loss of his mother. In this film there is no secret doorway that leads to an otherworldly adventure, but the boy becomes deeply engrossed in the fantasy book. He finds himself deeply connecting with the fictional characters, and especially with the events in the book to such an extent that his own life starts to literally intertwine with the storybook.

His life begins to not only reflect but also impact the events occurring in the book. The line between his real life and the story literally becomes blurred. This being a theme in Anuradha which emphasizes the bridge of humanity between other worlds and our "real" world.

Anuradha builds a bridge between extremes that most people don't care to consider in their personal lives. Being under Saturn makes it feel impossible to physically overcome hardships and it is in this nakshatra that there is a theme of finding solace in imagination, but also building oneself from imagination as reality/circumstances can make it impossible to grow. This is a profound lesson from all Saturn nakshatras, but this is the main theme for Anuradha being ruled by the 8H. It is the 8H that makes us go within and explore our own realms and face the shadows of our subconscious mind to come out transformed & elevated -- thus rising above circumstances we were once powerless in. In Anuradha, innocence and purity is retained despite how destructive the 8H/Saturn and the reality it creates is. Again, going right back to the lotus growing in the still, muddy waters.

[la-pheacienne]

It has been said before so many times but I'll say it again. Rhaegar was one of the most, if not THE most important role model in Dany's life, even, especially, beyond his death. She never met Rhaegar, yes, but it is his legacy that is guiding her both consciously and subconsciously throughout her entire journey, from the very beginning, standing alongside her father's shady legacy that she prefers to ignore than to confront because of fear of what it may entail for her and her cause. GRRM put THREE Targs ahead of Dany, each of them with a VERY heavy baggage. Aerys and Viserys were despicable people and she could have easily, EASILY delved into that sense of blind entitement and authoritarianism that they most certainly inspired. But alongside them, she chooses to hold onto Rhaegar's memory or legacy or imaginary or whatever the hell you want to call it, and she chooses to lead with that. She literally identifies herself with him, it's her face she sees inside his helmet. She desperately holds onto him, the only family member whose legacy is even remotely positive, based on the opinions of multiple different sources. What Dany wants the most is her family back, her home back. She is an orphan, she is alone, she has nothing left but her name and the dream of who that brother was and what she could be in his place, where she could succeed where he failed, in the same way Jon could succeed where Ned failed (the parallels are so strong). To have this taken away from her as well, to have Rhaegar's legacy smeared in the way the fandom does, is not only a direct attack to Dany but also extremely boring and repetitive, in all its fake "deconstructive"/"subversive" glory. Oh so you mean that her entire family were just monsters, one was an abusive loser, the other a psychopath and the third one, the only one that is presented as good, turns out to have been a machiavellian pedophile forcefully impregnating women for scientific experiments. So, Robert's initial thesis as presented in the very first book is not only confirmed but completed with new even more hideous information. And you call that subversive.

Just, no. What happened to nuance, I wonder? What happened to "oh this character had strong virtues but also some fatal flaws that led to his downfall, among other external factors"? You call the "Rhaegar forcefully impregnating unwilling women in order to use them and their babies as pawns to an imaginary war" a nuanced and subversive take in the context of asoiaf of all possible media? Really? Be for real.

Not even delving into the fact that Rhaegar being the only character of his generation actively interested in the prophecy and not in purely personal political gain is actually one of his main redeeming character traits, if not the most redeeming one and literally sets the thematical tone for the entire book series because that's PhD level for most people here.

[technicallyfurrydetective]

Hey people I am one of the trolls who stir some shit up and no not the one who sends death threats or stuff but the one who stirs shit up,

ABOUT ME

Interestingly opposite to popular belief i actually do have a life, a husband and 3 girls who are teens now, i started working again 8 years ago after my youngest started 5th grade and yeah i live a cozy homey life but sometimes i just find stirring shit up for no reason at all so amusing & interesting, like irl no one could guess it would be me, my kids teachers praises me for being a god mom and supporting not just my girls but donating and helping her friends who need it, my girls love me and i love them too, i do don't drink or anything i work, spend time with my friends/children/ hubby and that's about it,

WHY I DO IT

But since last year I posted a post where unintentionally people got heated and the arguments got passionate, and I love watching it unfold and sometimes I can't help but post some stuff on other's tags/anons to stir shit up, i am guilty but sometimes i can't help it,

HOW I DO IT

Takes two minutes to make a new ID with an email which doesn't exist.

HONEST OPINION

It so funny how down bad you are for your ships and honestly a little pathetic as well, like i spent some time on both sides of the shipping fandom and it's so pathetic watching you guys fight tooth and nail to prove your imaginary friends will make it in the book and the other side are disgusting rats with no reading comprehension, especially elriels, like sometimes i make stuff up and send them anons that gwynriels said this or that and they get so triggered like most of the time they won't even fact check, with gwynriels i think they are more pathetic because they generally keep their pro tags clean and pretend to not care but you can tell that they hate elriels to death but will pretend otherwise like to me being a two faced cunt is more pathetic,

Like i can't decide which side is worse because elriel on one side makes it clear that they stalk the other tags and openly posts stuff from others tags on their tags, like i have seen too many "tell me why i saw this EL/GA theory/art?" and care about GA/EL opinions too much, they will fight to death to prove how the other side is crack ship, idiots to see any sort of romance in two characters which they can't see, will follow and support elriel blindly and many more but i don't like typing anymore,

Proof in the comments

WHY GWYNRIELS ARE PIECE OF SHITS

They romanticize and choose the weirdest hill to stand on, like they will die defending tamlin X nyx and tamlin X anyone, they hate the main characters to death why the fuck are you still reading the books and sitting here if you hate the main people so much?

They will romanticize the wierdest shits "GA having sex where most women feel comfortable after being raped, Gwyn felt the bond and the love after she was actively raped,

As a survivor myself i think these people need to be more mindful and intelligent,

And the whole elain gate thing, dude who posted tamlain? like they whine for no reason at all,

Cry bout minor stuff and are the reason for the threats trolling like if they kept quite and ignored the trolling would've stopped,

Hate elriel and also think they are idiots for not seeing sparks and glows but will act like a two faced cunt and pretend they don't

Proof in comments:

So really both sides are pathetic and i am too but honestly life is getting too busy so maybe i won't be here,

And i wanted to say this before i left,

You guys are the real ones who need a life and i need a psychopath assessment, i'll get it done soon or go to therapy but for now BYE,

Hope you all love and hope you guys understand that you are all the same people

[aethon-recs]

Themed Rec List | Harry-Raises-Tom Riddle Recs

Another one of my all-time favorite Tomarrymort themes is when Harry decides to raise Tom Riddle. Below is a selection of wonderful fics where Harry is Tom's primary caretaker for some or all points during his childhood, such as going back in time to adopt Tom, or existing as a disembodied voice in Tom’s head, mentoring and guiding him through the ups & downs of his unfortunate childhood circumstances.

Many of these fics ask the question, could Tom have turned out differently if he had experienced a better, kinder upbringing? How much of Tom's nature is nature versus nurture, and how much influence can Harry even exert? These questions and more are explored in the >1 million words of Harry-raises-Tom Riddle fic linked below.

See here for Part 1 of this theme: Voldemort-Raises-Harry Tomarrymort Recs 🤍

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47 Days to Change by snow_owl01 (E, 201k, complete)

Harry Potter and Tom Riddle are enemies, born adversaries, prophesied leaders of opposite factions. An unfortunate tale of one man's failed attempt to mold young Tom into a decent, law-abiding citizen. Instead, as Fate will have it, young Tom grows up to become the same twisted psychopath, who is hell-bent on winning the love of his adoptive father, Harry's consent be damned.

A Single Love by Vera_DragonMuse (E, 23k, complete)

If Tom had been raised by Harry instead, would he have grown up to be Lord Voldemort?

Animus, Anima by @maiathoustra (M, 145k, complete)

In limbo, Harry doesn't choose to go back to the Forbidden Forest to face Voldemort. He makes another decision and finds himself in a baby's body: little Tom Riddle. Years pass that intimately bind the orphan and his imaginary friend into a hopeless and incestuous relationship. Indeed, all the odd events of Tom Riddle's life happen in spite of Harry's presence: could he be the one who provokes them? This is Tom Riddle's entire life, as close to canon as possible, if he shared his body with Harry Potter (and fell in love with him).

complete by @cindle-writes (E, 9k, complete)

Everyone had always said that Voldemort was an alpha, and Harry didn't have any reason to presume otherwise. When he travels back in time to adopt Tom Riddle out of the orphanage, it never occurs to him there'd be any issue. What Harry doesn’t realize is that Tom is actually an unbonded omega.

Eudaimonia by @duplicitywrites (E, 16k, complete)

Harry travels back in time to save Merope Gaunt from dying. He takes her in, heals her illness, helps her when she gives birth to her son... and then falls prey to her love potion.  Despite his lack of exposure to the outside world, it doesn't take Tom long to realize something is off about his parents' marriage. It takes even less time for him to decide his loving father deserves better.

Growing Pains by @whisprchrysalis (M, 113k, WIP)

June 24th, 1995. The night that Lord Voldemort regains his human form and attempts to fight Harry to the death, their wands collide, shared by a beam of gold light. And then, Lord Voldemort's volatile, recently-regenerated human form morphs into something else entirely. Into his seven-year-old de-aged self. Now he's young Tom Riddle, fresh out of Wool's Orphanage.

Paved With the Best Intentions by @perhaps-sunlight (M, 81k, WIP)

Instead of dying during the Battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort de-ages into an infant. Until he becomes old enough to be legally executed, he will be magically bound to Harry.

The Abyss by AislingSiobhan (E, 36k, complete)

Nietzsche was right: when fighting monsters, Harry should have been more careful not to become one himself. That didn’t matter anymore. It was too late to save himself, yet he could still save the world from Voldemort. But who would save Voldemort from him?

the babytrap series by @cindle-writes, @crowcrowcrowthing, @duplicitywrites (E, 5k, complete)

This little boy, barely five years old and Tom Riddle in miniature, boasted beautiful emerald eyes. “A piece of you,” Tom said lightly, kissing Harry’s cheek in greeting, “and a piece of me.”

the eternal flame by @duplicitywrites (E, 25k, WIP) — with lovely art by @kagariasuha and more lovely art by @chiocchi

There’s a well-dressed older man who enters the orphanage asking after Tom Riddle.  The man’s green eyes fix on Tom’s face, searching and searching. His expression is conflicted, sad and hurt. Almost like he’s grieving, only that doesn’t make any sense because Tom is right here. “My name is Harry Gaunt,” the man says, the tenor of his voice soft and faltering, a reflection of Tom's deepest, most secret anxieties, “and I’m here to adopt you.”

Times, he remembers by SpitFire97 (T, 4k, complete)

A green-eyed stranger whisks Tom to a distant future to prevent the Dark Lord from getting to Tom. It’s not his fault he misunderstands.

Three Turns Should Do It by @vdoshu (M, 284k, WIP)

When Harry tried to cast a Patronus to save himself, Sirius, and Hermione from hundreds of Dementors, he created a paradox, and found himself ripped out of time entirely. Many years earlier, Tom Riddle was just a lonely boy who wanted to be happy. But history was written by the victors, and the monster of Lord Voldemort was not what Harry found when he was no longer adrift. Time was a tricky thing, and fate, even trickier. It would take plenty of friends, and family, and just so much time, but maybe—maybe—together they could change fate.

What He Grows To Be by @k-s-morgan (M, 267k, complete)

Tom Riddle is a frightening coil of darkness, cruelty, and greatness, and changing him is Harry’s only hope for saving people he loves. Going back in time, he takes Tom from the orphanage, but his optimism shatters with every year they spend together. Tom still longs for darkness. Tom stifles him in his possessiveness. Tom is fixated on him to the point of destroying the world just to keep him. But Harry loves him. And the future changes.

“Would you like to come with me?” by @chiocchi (SFW, art)

The Wool’s Orphanage adoption scene. Adorable heartwarming art piece.

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[chloreen]

Don't forget about the 8 stages of break-up. 1. Tragic couch-potato (resignation) 2. Extra-dramatic gossip girl (sharing) 3. Surprisingly well-dressed psychopath (anger) 4. One step away from playing the Joker (pure madness) 5. Darren Aronofsky audition (cathartic meltdown) 6. Imaginary Starbucks barista (conversation with your subconscious) 7. Cool bitch (ignoring your ex to their face) 8. Passive-aggressive Teddy bear (talking it through)

[bugs1nmybrain]

Have you heard the song “give your heart a break” by Demi Lovato imagine that as a cute love story for Shigaraki with the female reader?

(I was thinking about just using the song as a story title and then use your imagination and get creative with whatever you choose and just have fun with it?😅)

Give Your Heart a Break - a soft Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader series

CHAPTER 1 (Minors Don't Interact)

You can read Chapter 2 here.

Notes: You asked for a love story, and you're getting a love story XD. I plan for this to be a continuing series. No overarching goal with this series, just a sweet story about how Shigaraki fell hard for the reader. It will be messy! Shigaraki is not a healthy guy and would be a vile boyfriend, but I will make this as fluffy as possible. Underneath all that homicidal rage is just a boy who was never loved. This is admittedly a very, "I can fix him," kind of story lmao.

Summary: First encounter between Shigaraki and the reader. The whole chapter is literally Shiggy freaking out in GameStop because you walked in and you're so pretty and he wants to talk to you but doesn't know how.

Warnings will come and go as each chapter comes out.

Warnings: The canon of BNHA is altered; quirks still exist but Shigaraki is more of a domestic gang leader than a domestic terrorist lmao. NSFW (no sex in this chapter), Shigaraki is a creep, fluff, blue-haired Shigaraki (season 4ish), CHEESY, Shigaraki hears voices and has very loud intrusive thoughts (they are highlighted in blue and red), POV swings, CLIFFHANGER

Notes about Reader's Appearance and Personality: HEAVILY based off of me. She's shy and polite up front but silly and vulgar with people close to her. She is short and a little thicc. Alternative clothing style and she's messy looking. She is a gamer! She is insinuated to be Shigaraki's age (20), maybe even older. She likes anime! She has crooked teeth.

Tomura wasn't unlike other 20-year-old men in that he found himself checking out girls from time to time. He usually didn't do more than look in his peripheral vision, actually, love and romance and even sex were all things Tomura wasn't acquainted with. There's no way someone so twisted could ever be loved.

Tomura loved giving off the impression that he needed nobody. Even in the League, he isolated a lot while the other members would be doing something together. He'd retreat to his own room and play games or plan out operations, but sometimes he'd retreat so that he could cuddle up with his favorite body pillow and just lay there.

He'd probably kill anyone who ever found out about it, but he was starving for love. To be touched, held, kissed. For someone to play with his hair and be comfortable around him. Everyone's so afraid of him, and that's a good thing! However, sometimes he just wished he had someone, just ONE person who wanted his company. Someone to listen to him rant for hours about how much he hates heroes, someone to play games with, someone to make love to, or someone to just hold for comfort when he was stressed.

He'd commit mass genocide if anyone knew he'd had imaginary girlfriends.

Now, a big scary bad guy like Tomura could get a girlfriend, right?? Just use those scare tactics, hold her by the throat with one finger up, and tell her she has no option but to love him. Steal her, hide her, keep her to himself? Sure, the fantasy was a little hot to him, and he could so easily do it. Tomura didn't want that though. As possessive as he is, he wanted to be loved. Not feared. He's feared plenty.

He'd kill if anyone knew how much pain he's in every time he sees a cute couple walk into GameStop. It pisses him off so bad. Why can't he have that?

"Well, doi, Shigaraki. You're a murderer, a psychopath, and a villain. Just one touch and it's over. What girl is going to want your hands all over her?"

"Whatever."

-

Shigaraki was currently at GameStop looking for a video game he'd been wanting to play. He picked the game and came up with a few fingers, turning it the other way around to read the details. As he was reading, he heard a ding from the door, meaning someone was entering the store. Shigaraki always looked when it went off because he could never be too sure that some hero bounty hadn't tracked him down. He looked over to the door, expecting it to be nothing special.

Whatever Tomura was feeling right now started in his eyes. Goodness, you were so...colorful. Not even! It was funny, considering you were wearing mostly black. However, your pretty hair that was put up in pigtails and your sharp black eyeliner made you stand out like a sore thumb.

You were little, too. Tomura looked in comparison as you stood at the door, seeing that you were only around the 5' mark on the height scale.

The feeling started going to his brain now. You stepped closer and closer to the store, your pumped boots making you seem all big (even tho ur're small), bad, and mysterious. He worried you were going to walk over to his area, but you made a beeline toward the anime section.

"Hehe weeb."

Tomura didn't want to stand out, so he just stayed put, looking at games he was never going to play. He didn't even read the labels, he merely pretended to so he could observe you. He saw the other losers in the store eyeball you, too. That made him wanna kill them for some reason. He wanted to get a proper look at you, but he didn't want you to know that he was blatantly creeping on you. Even if he just looked at you, you'd probably leave the store like that. After all, he was wearing a black hoodie and the parts of his face that were visible were his rather creepy features. He'd scare you off.

He's planned some pretty crazy missions before, surely he could gather intel on you in your short time in GameStop, right?

He wanted a better look at you, so he switched from the PS area to the T-shirts. He even pretended to do a little "aha" at the shirts to make it seem like he wasn't purposely there so he could see you better. When he could get a solid look, though, he instantly needed to know everything about you.

Goodness, he's a simp, huh? You were just so goshdarn cute. Sure, he saw gothic and alt girls around the mall all the time. You looked a bit silly, though. Your makeup wasn't bad, but it was messy. Your hair could probably use some brushing too. You held a phone that had a case of some anime guy, though he didn't know which one.

"Hehe weeb."

Fuck, you were heading his way. He didn't know if he should leave before you were near him or just stay. You kept your distance anyway, as you were standing very far off to the side. Surely, you weren't able to get a good look at the shirts. He stepped back, hoping that you'd be able to tell he was giving you room. You smiled and said, "thank you," going to step forward.

Now the feeling was going to his nuts.

Now that you were in front of him, he got a nice view of the back of you. Not only could he see up close how small you really were, but he got a great view of your more intimate areas. He could tell from your skirt that you had wide hips and thick thighs, which made him pop a tiny smirk while you weren't looking.

"Grab her."

Oh, come on, not now.

Stupid fucking voices. Though, they had a point. She's small and seems polite enough to manipulate. She's thick but probably isn't that heavy in the grand scheme of things. Alone. And she ain't getting nowhere in those shoes.

While his voice distracted him, you had managed to end up at the registrar with a t-shirt in your hand. Tomura didn't really think as he bolted over behind you, he wasn't ready for you to leave. He already had his game that he had to buy so it wasn't like he was in line for no reason.

The feeling started going into his blood. He felt hot, and it was because of the stupid cashier making jokes with you and being friendly. Your laugh. He could tell it was fake, but you were so warm?

"Pet her hair."

Wow, ok, Tomura thought. Sometimes they'd say very bizarre things. Voices were confusing because he could never tell if they were deep-seated desires of his or if his brain just purposely wanted to fuck him over.

She started to pull out her wallet to pay but ended up dropping something. It landed right at Tomura's feet, so he bent down to grab it. A debit card!

"I'm sorry," you laugh nervously.

Tomura made sure to read your name intently before handing it back to you.

"No worries, hah. Guess I got to be somebody's hero today," he joked. Fuck. That was a bad joke wasn't it?

"That'd be the first time a hero has done anything helpful for me, then, haha."

...!

"That was a jab at heroes, wasn't it?" He thought. Now the feeling was in his chest. Maybe he's running with too little information but that sounded like an "I hate heroes," joke. Oh, now he's really got to know you.

"Yeah, maybe if they got off all those stacks they make they'd actually save a life, huh?"

"Hehe! You get it!"

You were smiling at him. And laughing. But not the fake laugh you gave the cashier. Your cheeks also flushed up as you giggled at his insult to hero society and he even got to see your teeth. Crooked, like his. He felt paralyzed, being able to look at you without sneaking it this time.

"I like your hair," you said to him.

Shit. He didn't even notice his hoodie fell off when he grabbed your card. Hopefully, the shopkeeper didn't know what "Shigaraki" was supposed to look like.

"I don't see many guys with blue hair like yours."

His eyes lit up when you said that. He may have even felt a small blush creep on his cheeks. Tomura knew he had an ugly face, one that made people whisper and steadily move away from him. But you complimented his hair instead of getting creeped out by him. "Really?"

"Yea. I like it a lot. Most people go for dark blue, but your color is prettier."

Pretty?!

He could swear that he can see you flustered. Is he making you blush? He didn't even do anything but have blue hair.

"Sorry, that was weird," you stammer, realizing that the word "pretty" could've offended him.

"Oh, no. You're fine! I like your hair too, the way you styled it is cute," he beams, hoping to earn some flirting points. You flashed him an adorable smile back, so he must've struck a chord.

"Ma'am, I don't mean to interrupt, but there's a line," the cashier says, getting your attention.

"Oh, right."

The way your voice shot down maybe two octaves was so funny to Tomura. You were so bubbly and flustered with him and yet so dry and indifferent with this guy. You were so interesting already. It's a good thing he made sure to remember the name on that card. Your name fits you so well, too.

You paid for your shirt and started leaving the store. Fuck, no! He didn't want you to go just yet.

"Stop her."

"Grab her."

"Tell her she's hot."

"jesus christ shut the fuck up!" Tomura mutters to himself as quiet as he could. He was trying so hard to think of how to get your attention again, but before he could, you had already been no where to be found.

"Stupid short bitch, I'll find you."

He may have thought of that one voluntarily.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Loumand

Assad was NOT. PLAYING.

Put those village feeders AWAY, sir~! 😍 You look ready to start lactating, omg! Assad NEVER misses a day at the gym!

What happened to y'all being so in sync, fellas?

Armand seems WAY more delusional here than Louis, for once. Which is telling--Armand had long been "failing" to hold onto his coven, and his authority.

Louis reading about Death while his daughter's arguing for her life, I can't.

And this little shrug when Armand punished Claudia, omfg, he is giving weak-willed-mother-who-lets-the-mean-stepfather-run-roughshod-over-her-kids-cuz-the-peen-is-too-good-and-he-pays-all-the-bills.

So we go from Lestat's "the Meat" and Claudia's "Kill Juice" to Armand's "Cattle."

NGL, I'd be pissed if I was the coven, too. How you gon' have this dude sit there not needing to follow the rules, while all of us are stuck wearing clown makeup and having our makers killed cuz of your dumb rules?!

I REALLY like this mutinous angle AMC's using, fleshing out the tension in the coven more, cuz it really makes sense.

I get that Louis would want to be around, but omfg cut the umbilcal already! I agree with the coven: like, WHY are you there exactly? Not even the worst helicopter moms are allowed to sit in class with their kids all day, so wtf? And I agree that Armand needs to draw MUCH thicker lines in the sand. Coven business is coven business--if Louis' not gonna even be allowed to speak up in Claudia's defense, then he shouldn't be there at all. ESPECIALLY if he's gonna flaunt how much he doesn't GAF about their rules--their CULTURE.

Aw crap, you got the homie Estelle mad, too?!

You done effed up, Louis--that's the smile of a psychopath. XD

Oh, he's keeping SOMETHING tight, he ain't lyin! 😜

👀

LOUIS! The ONE time you should've lied, omfg! 🤦 It's called making a UNITED FRONT, ffs!

Louis said Hot Girl Summer--literally.

🔥🕯️ FIRE GIFT LOUIS THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ️‍🕯️🔥

Louis said it only works when he's PISSED OFF, OH LAAAWWWWD!

This bit scared the crap out of me--at first I was like the coven's gonna jump y'all in your skivvies!? 😂 Then I was like wait--was that a crew member?! How did y'all not catch that in post!?

And then it all became clear.

*crosses self* HISSSSS.

CLEARLY it's not "great," when your man's man is throwing shade at your whole setup in Louis' head. 😬 Armand, you're barking up the wrong Rebound Tree, my guy.

The face that launched 1000 undead theatre kids into a blazing inferno. THE Louis of Troy, yaaaas~!

MESSY QUEEN.

🔥 FIRE GIFT LOUIS LFG. ️‍🔥

And this is likely why Louis believes what Armand said about him teaching Lestat the Mind Gift, cuz Armand taught Louis the Fire Gift.

Oh trust, we know you do, Armand. But how much does LOUIS know? 👀 ESPECIALLY when he doesn't go on hunts with y'all.

This can only end well.... 😬😈

AMC knows what they're doing--you knooooow that would've hurt Les to his core, if he knew Lou said ILY to Armand after only 1.5 years, when he (allegedly) never said it once to Lestat in 30. U_U Cuz you don't effing deserve it yet, Lestat! It's no skin off Lou's back to say that to Armand, cuz he's not REALLY giving up anything. He's not joining their stupid coven, and he's fine with them killing him. But Lou admitting that he loves Lestat means he'd have to take accountability for his COMPLICITY in everything that went wrong in his life, and that he chose Lestat over his entire family, his religion, his self respect, his sanity, ALL of it, for some heinous blonde Frenchman, lord have mercy. 😔 It's a hard pill to swallow.

And he's REALLY in the deep end now, if he expects his imaginary (boy)friend to start keeping promises. 🤦

[k-s-morgan]

I was reading your new tomarry story and got to where it left off, and it was so good that I was like “I need more of them” and then I remembered that you’d made a rec list once, and I found Wear Me Like A Locket Around Your Throat and ahh!!! I know you’ve read a lot of this ship so do you know if there are any other fics like it? Ones that keep the tone/pacing of the original HP stories and has a Harry that isn’t dark (as fun as that can be!) and a Tom that is more curious/determined/ambitious and less manipulative? I just ended up really interested in that version of Tom tbh and I feel like it’s not something I’ve seen done a lot

Hi! It's great to hear from you <3 I'm so happy you enjoyed my new story!

My suggestions won't be new, but yeah, I have some.

Pretty much anything by Lomonaaeren: my personal favorites are Earning His Notice (Harry goes back in time where Tom is rising to power, with Tom attempting to covert him to his side), His Darkest Devotion (soulmates AU), His Twenty-Eighth Life (Harry living many lives with his memories and trying to change Voldemort), and Lighting series (Harry settled down in another universe and he meets a version of Tom Riddle there).

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars  has a protective Tom who has his agenda but is not anywhere close to being a dark lord. Harry is wonderful in it.

Goddess of Imaginary Light: Hogwarts AU with a powerful Harry and a saner Tom who grows obsessed with him. Not finished, but still very satisfying and stops at a bearable place. Tom is somewhere on the verge between dark-ish and dark.

Teaching History (is Old News) is an AU where Harry and Tom are both teachers at Hogwarts. Tom is plotting something all the time, but he's much saner and rational than his canon version. This story has a tone that differs from canon, but the explanation is very good and it really works, I love it.

euphoria, also a Hogwarts AU story with a more down-to-earth Tom.

The Divine Right of Kinds: AU with a powerful politician Tom.

Not entirely sure but I feel like What Souls Are Made of also fits the criteria: from what I recall, it has a pretty rational and smart Tom that isn't a downright psychopath.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Yes, let's talk about "your" pronouns for a moment, because I have some thoughts on the matter...

What's that? Oh, silly me. By "let's talk about," what you actually mean is "unquestioningly comply with my demands."

Be that as it may, "we" - which is to say, "I" - am going to talk about it regardless.

Let's analyze this for a moment.

She gives the game away right up front: blue heart is for boys, pink heart is for girls. This ideology is based on stereotypes. If you still doubt this, I don't know what else to show you to convince you.

Secondly, her "gender" isn't a profound knowledge of personal identity, because it changes faster than the weather. I'm not even sure it's her personality, because anyone whose personality changes that rapidly and that wildly has some kind of severe disorder. What she's calling "gender" seems to be nothing but her mood.

Thirdly, and I keep having to repeat this, if your "gender" requires others to participate, then it's not a "deeply personal sense of self." Just like your faith cannot be "a personal relationship with Jesus" if everybody else has to pray or refrain from pointing out the flaws in the bible. "Gender is a social construct" means that your "gender" only "exists" to the extent people play along. People are sick of being bullied into pretending for narcissists.

More importantly, you don't get to make others participate and then deny them any say or input. You can't give people an obligation with no authority, because if you think you can, then others can give you an obligation with no authority.

And you don't get to make others responsible for your mental wellbeing, to carry the burden you cannot or will not, and then get angry when they don't meet your standards or decline the obligation at all. You are responsible for you. Trying to make other people responsible for your emotions or mental state is psychotic. Xians insist that humans - and particularly children - are responsible for keeping their god happy, evidently because he cannot do it himself. You're just as much of an immature psychopath. We are not responsible for keeping you from bursting like a fragile soap bubble.

You can have a personal, unquestionable conviction, or you can have a matter of public interest and discussion. As soon as you insist others participate, you forfeit the right to cordon your beliefs off from scrutiny. If you want your beliefs to go unmolested, then keep them to yourself.

If it's nobody else's business, don't make it other people's business. You can't claim your "gender" is nobody else's business, nobody else gets a say, and then insist it is their business to comply with these demands and prop the whole delusion up.

Private concern or public interest. Choose one.

Fourthly, anyone who comes up with rules like this is a sociopath who is trying to control, manipulate and trap others. Since third-person pronouns are used primarily when someone is not present, when referring to an individual when talking to others, this is a form of authoritarian thought-control. You do not get to dictate how others must see you or think of you. They get to decide for themselves what they think of you, regardless of whether or not you like it, and it's none of your business. And if your sense of self is so flimsy that you must coerce them to conform their view of you to your own view of yourself, then you have bigger problems than "your" pronouns.

When she walks into room, people stiffen because they have to talk like idiots around her - and that's part of the appeal. She wants to be "misgendered," because who is she if she's not a marginalized victim and the center of attention? That's the trick: either you comply, and she wins, or you refuse, and she gets to pretend to be a victim and she wins. Nobody's obliged to pay attention to these insane, imaginary rules, much less play along. When she's already gamed it to win no matter what, the only way for you to win is to retain your integrity and self-respect and tell the truth.

And finally, you do not have pronouns. The pronouns belong to the language, in this case, English. The English language has pronouns for you. You don't have your own pronouns any more than you have your own conjugations or your own adjectives. Other languages, such as German, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Chinese and Japanese, have their own structures, and they're not for you to "fix" with your stupid activism.

And yes, languages change. They evolve through common usage and common acceptance, not through narcissists performing blunt-force creationism enforced with emotional manipulation and vilification.

She's an average, unremarkable girl who's found a socially acceptable way to control other people and pretend to be interesting.

My adjectives are amazing/brilliant/impressive.

Misadjectiving is hate. #BeKind

P.S. I miss the days when pink, green or blue dyed hair was a sign of rebellion and uniqueness, rather than a predictable trope and red flag that warns the world about all your views and opinions before you ever open your mouth. #MakeDyedHairCoolAgain

[legacyshenanigans]

I’m sorry but a thought occurred to me in the shower and I cannot help but share. I would just love to see the reactions of some of the characters react to MC drinking tea (as one of my, very good and proper, English friend calls it “American atroci tea”) using the cheaper pre made sachets in like twenty or so a box. I just would love to think at least one person (definitely ominous) would faint upon hearing about it

This is HILARIOUS

I've seen vids of some Americans (not all) making "Tea" and I SWEAR to god 🤣🤣🤣

Here's a little dumb script drabble ahahahaha

MC: Anyone want a cup of tea?

Sebastian: Yeah I'll have one.

Ominis: Ooh yes please.

MC: *gets three cups out, and a box of shitty weak ass tea bags that she bought*

Sebastian: *narrows his eyes watching her, before glancing at the teapot and GOOD tea going untouched*

MC: *puts milk in the cups first*

Sebastian: What the FUCKING HELL are you doing?!

MC: (?!)

Ominis: What's going on?

Sebastian: She put milk in the cups first. And has a box of generic teabags..

Ominis: She WHAT?! *grabs imaginary pearls in disbelief, mouth agape*

MC: *as she's putting the teabags in the lonely cold milk at the bottom of the cups* What's your problem?

Omins: Good Lord, next she'll be putting those teabags in the cold milk.

Sebastian: She just did!

Ominis: OH HEAVENS TO BETSY!! *grabs Sebastian* SEBASTIAN DO SOMETHING!!!

Sebastian: *gripping onto Ominis* I cant! I'm too scared! She's doing it so nonchalantly, like some kind of psychopath!!!!

Ominis: Call the police Sebastian!!! Hold me!!! Don't let her come near me with those cups of poison!!

MC: *confusion* (?!?!?!?!?!)

~

[kdrama-movies-more]

This is one of those rare finals that are actually going good. The final episode awaits but this one delivered and landed the themes from relations to gangster life safely. And somehow gave that feeling of humanity to even the worst of the worst...

What I'm happiest about however is that Jae-soo is unharmed(sorry Ji-hwan, you're the ML you'll be fine and if you're not they know we'll kill them. Also...its on UTG for always taking on the suffering roles...most of his characters still break my heart even thinking of) because the lovable middle-aged man is sooo expendable for stakes of late and they just don't seem to want to end these type of Kdramas without at least someone dying.

....

Go Yang-hee has one of the best characters and downfalls, and so many of the themes some not even related to him are foiled so neatly by his character..that, surprisingly...has some depth. For once it isn't just a psychopath. For first impressions, he turned into a damned fine antagonist befitting his enormous rap sheet. A very noir-esque, doomed by hubris scarface...a kite with its string cut and nothing to lose... He even dressed to kill and dropped his usual cat act. Even though he started out so silly and incompetent to ever be taken seriously enough, the development and... And like the uncultured thug he is- the kkangpae sans honor and humanity- he alone broke Ji-hwan and can still get a rise out of him. And in the end hes just sooo done with the boss...

Everyones probably going to get epiphanies if this ends in a hopeful way for them(I'll take Yang-hee being an exception since he did kick two dogs in one episode).

....

And maybe the weirdest take away ever but...theres three people writhing in unrequited love with a dose of envy and lashing out while those in love keep loving the one they do(even when its twisted) and they need to let go... Yena, a strong one who talked honestly, acts honestly albeit bitchily tsun and is on her way to moving on. The Prosecutor who flip-flops even though he is well-intentioned and grown to care for all. And when the twain spoke in interrogation it struck me- Yang-hee too. His is the most twisted and the most extreme case('hell hath no fury like a kitty scorned') (and the adult man dad treats like a child...learn a lesson? really? at 45 when hes been been going off the rails for 25 years and screwing up? a part of me gets the strategy of why he elevated Yang-hee to the top but thats...sooo dumb to not see Yang-hee for how Ogata he is and brush him off or not take action when he should have...) Its sibling rivalry plain and simple(even if imaginary) and that one line reminded me of Ogata that whole why didn't you look at me...

And both in the criminal and personal sense his downfall is the abyss...

[sonicjustbecause]

Rouge the thief has no darkide? according to Sonic prime...

When Sonic shattered the prysm, we got pieces of all character personalities. Some got darksides, but some more appear to have a pure heart. And some are unsuspicious:

Sonic: Sonic didn't shatter but he has a counterpart since 2001. Yes, Shadow. The two guys are virtually identical and the only difference is their colours. Shadow's overall different experssion is over a face that is very same of Sonic. Like all counterparts, Shadow is not the opposite of Sonic in all aspect. In some aspect they're the same. Shadow was not mean to be Sonic's shadow but he is Sonic's reflection. One thing that underline this is that Sonic is overall right handed and Shadow is overall left handed. Yet there are things that are the other way (Shadow uses the right when using Chaos control, while Sonic favour his left).

They both love a good challenge.

If Sonic did statter I'm sure one of them would be the exact copy of Shadow (except the colour), with quills upward and outward. Another would be a drama queen, a cry baby (Sonic is known to be particularly good at holding back his tears. In one shatterspace, maybe the boscage, he would cry over the smallest thing, a sort of soy boy, or soy hedgehog). Another dimension would give us a Sonic who is a literal superstar. No place I think.

A shattered Shadow would give us a cheerful yet a bit delinquent Shadow, like the one from Chousoku Sonic. No place maybe. We can have a innocent version of him from boscage maze and a melancholic yet sociable version from New Yolk.

I don't know if Sonic and Shadow would have at least one evil counterpart.

Rouge: all Rouge counterparts from the shatterspace are good hearted. That's surprising since Rouge is a thief and thieves are criminal, although their crime may be minor. She might reflect the imaginary figure of the lady thief, she steal but she is kind and gentle.

Amy also has no evil counterpart. Rusty is a cyborg that was controlled by the chaos council but once she got her mind back she quickly chooses the heroes. Is not that surprising that Amy is pure hearted.

Big the cat is a large fluffy Siberian cat. And in all his countermarts, he is still a large fluffy Siberian cat. This guy is true to himself, pure, honest at the point to never change, it doesn't matter what.

Knuckes has one evil counterpart, Dread. Dread is literally a psychopath. He is funny at first glance. Then you discover a liar, a manipulator, he uses other people for his goals and he is attracted by power and lust. Once people around him aren't useful amymore they can go, well... to fuck theirselves. He seems having some Gollum traits ('My beauty' mirror Gollum's 'My preciousssss!').

Interesting that a so naive character like knuckles has a so sly counterpart like Dread.

Tails has one evil counterpart, Nine. Being 8 years old, Nine is just at the early stage of his role of the mad scientist. He is in the moment you discover something big you would never imagine. A power that you mean to use for yourself without meaning harm at the start. But the power is so big you get corrupted and drunk, wanting more and more without realizing. Nine was strongly against the idea of ripping apart the shatterspace... and once he gets the power, he rips the shatterspace apart, even making some world explode (like Ghost hill).

If Rouge, Amy and Big have no dark side, Eggman is pure evil. His counterparts are five, all cruel and all getting along. Is like the opposite of Big the cat.

[youremyheaven]

I read your post about Shatabhisha & The Rahuvian Urge to Lie, and I couldn't agree more actually. As a nodal nak dominant, I can, for certain, tell you that lying is like breathing to us. There's just that innate psychology response where when someone ask you or tells you something, you automatically lie about something, not on purpose, but definitely by default. I think it relates to the way that rahu is the head and lives entirely in their heads because they chose to, and ketu being headless therefore not thinking twice before responding, makes it all the more convincing. I in particular have noticed about myself that I tend to lie on default even though when someone ask me something, I have the truth in my head and that's what I want to say, but then I automatically say the opposite (which is, to lie) and I always find myself incredulous about it. I then process what I had just said and then hurriedly change what I had just said to correct my lie. When I was a kid, I also used to lie about a lot of things just because it was fun to see their reactions, as well as that it just automatically comes out (the lie). I never and I mean NEVER used to correct my lies until I discovered spirituality and delved in and grew out of that phrase eventually to my righteous Jupiter atmakaraka which is why now I think about what I will say before responding, sometimes it slips out, I just then correct it. It doesn't help that I have my ketu in ashlesha (where I believe all that trickery and finding lying to be fun (mercurial energy) came from).

damn, tysm for sharing your experience<33 its interesting to know how lying is kind of the default mode for Nodal people. ive been in situations with Nodal friends where they say the complete opposite of what they personally told me about xyz thing to someone else and im just like ??? what the hell,, its also a bit confusing when someone lies about really ?? random stuff?? and then contradicts themselves about it later as well. one girl i knew always spoke about her mother in a super glorified way and i felt something off and later on she said she lied and that her mom's an abusive psychopath and im like ?? (she also had ashlesha placements) im thinking of the time one of my friends in school had a whole imaginary relationship with some imaginary guy and she would even cry about how he treated her sometimes and on other days she'd be ecstatic cause he was good to her?? idk her birthday or placements but this ask brought back memories lmfao its kinda giving Nodal energy imo 💅🏼

its good to hear that you've outgrown it tho!! i truly think everybody can lean into the positive aspects of their chart if theyre more in tune with themselves and im glad thats been the case for u<333

[amournoir]

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲

pairings: elijah x reader

count: 2.3k 

warnings: angst & fluff?

note: completely flattered to write this request. i hope you enjoy @shawty-writes-a-little ! ♡

It had been hours since he last texted. If you could even call it that, it was less of a text and bordered closer to a demand. Either way, I listened and here I was, seated on the edge of the bed. Earlier that day we had argued but before I could push further, he left and was off to save the paranoid maniacal brother of his. No, not the younger one with psychopathic tendencies, the hybrid one. 

It was just me, Freya, and Rebekah but I didn’t want company and both girls knew better than to prod. Freya, their eldest sister, was treated more like an on-call witch than family. Rebekah was simply there to protect me even though she and I both knew I could handle myself. She only agreed so that she didn’t have to traipse through the bayou in her new boots. I don’t fully blame her. 

The room was too quiet for my liking, normally I didn’t mind it but all it did was heighten the voices in my head. The ones that awoke when I had nothing to distract me from thinking about my boyfriend lying dead somewhere. He can’t die silly. I scoffed at no one but myself because it was true. This entire family evaded death like the plague, I swear they would outlive even  the most resilient cockroaches. 

I glanced over at the clock above the burning furnace and the hand was inching closer and closer to midnight. With a loud sigh, I tossed myself back on the bed, staring at the ceiling above. After what felt like fifteen minutes, technically it had only been five, I dragged myself to the couch that was in front of the fireplace. The book I had been reading earlier was still there so I sat down, covering myself with the blanket and shifting around until I found a suitable position. 

Once settled, I picked up from where I left off. I was so engrossed in the book that my mind quickly drifted away from reality and into the imaginary world. This was what I enjoyed the most, reading undisturbed. It was my escape from the supernatural world I was dragged into yet chose to stay. I can’t say how long I had been reading but the slamming of the doors below and the thumping of footsteps on the stairs and down the hallway pulled me back. I could make out Rebekah’s and Klaus’s voices but I could not decipher what was being said. I sighed, this was nothing new because eventually they’d stop. 

I slumped back into my seat and held the book on my lap, using my thumb as a bookmark. Before I could resume my interrupted silence, the bedroom door opened slowly and in walked my boyfriend. He didn’t seem too happy and he didn’t say a word. He leaned against the wooden frame of the door and watched me. I decided not to pay him any mind so I lowered my head and returned to my book which was far more interesting than the incoming argument. 

I am stubborn and he is patient, this never bodes well. I refused to say anything first, my pride wouldn’t dare allow me to. He was patient enough to wait me out and our history of arguments would side with him. 

“Y/N.” He firmly said. 

Although it would seem that today, tonight, I won. 

“Y/N I know you hear me.” 

Silence. He was met with my silence and lack of attention. My head was still shoved in the book, I no longer was reading but that didn’t matter to him. My insolence would only enrage him. 

“I had to go. You know I had to.” 

Still nothing. Instead I shifted in my seat and properly marked my book, threw the blankets off of myself and stood. I could feel him observing my every move, waiting for me to say something. I looked at him once — pursing my lips and shrugging my shoulders — as I made my way across the room, intending on passing him. 

He seamlessly extended his hand out for my arm once I reached him and grasped it. We stood side by side, shoulder to shoulder, his hold strong on my arm but not painful. I was facing the door he came from and he faced the couch near the fireplace I previously sat. 

“Y/N. Stop this.” 

My stubbornness knew no bounds. I still refused him. 

“Stop behaving like an insolent child!” His patience wasn’t wearing thin but my lack of participation in his commentaries was. 

“Then stop treating me like one!” I retorted much louder than I had aimed to. 

“What on earth do you mean?” 

He must be kidding. “You ‘had to go’?” I quoted his words. 

“Of course. Niklaus needed my help.” He stared at me as if I was new to this. “I was protecting him.” 

“He disturbs the witches daily and the moment they decide to retaliate, he runs back to you with his tail between his legs! He is a toddler that you refuse to say no to.” 

“Enough of this.” 

“No! It is one thing to strike back at enemies that come at you unprovoked but in these past few weeks, his skirmishes are unnecessary.” 

“He is my brother, no matter his actions or choices. I stand beside him.” 

“Then you should lay beside him as well since my opinion whenever it comes to him falls on deaf ears.” 

“I won’t listen to this any longer. You are upset so I will take my leave until you have calmed.” 

I chuckled at that and shook my head slightly, sighing to myself. He let go of his hold on my arm and took a step back. With one foot, he pivoted and turned his back toward me, walking to the bathroom. I stared at him as my chest rose and fell rapidly; I was angry that he was hard-headed but even more so that he was deaf. 

“Elijah Mikaelson don’t you dare turn your back to me! I am not done!” 

This had him stopping but he didn’t turn. He stood still and waited for my next words. I had never once yelled at him, admittedly I had recently begun raising my voice at him but that was only during our arguments about his bastard brother. 

I stood my ground as my eyes bore holes into his back, “Turn around and face me. You owe me that much.” 

“I owe you?” He asked astonishingly, “Everything I do is for you, Y/N!” 

“Don’t you even— I have never once asked anything of you.” I snapped. 

“You never had to, it is my job. You are my responsibility.” 

“Stop treating me as though I am some useless damsel in a shitty tower!” 

“Why can’t you understand that I will always protect my family?!” 

That made me stop. That sentence alone turned me into a mute. My voice was soft, a stark contrast from the yelling it had been doing. “And what of me Elijah?” I asked, gazing at his backside. “What am I then?” 

“I do not know.” Was the last thing he said before silently excusing himself and walking out. 

I didn’t know what was worse, blaming him for his brother’s ridiculous brawls or questioning his affections for me. I knew he loved and cared for me, I saw it on a daily basis but whenever something like this would happen I quickly doubted it all. One day it would be between me and his siblings and there would be no choice, I would just have to say my final prayers and write up a will. I couldn’t even tell him this fear because he would convince me that it wouldn’t ever happen or if it did, he’d give me false hope that he would save me. He wouldn’t live with that choice and neither could I. 

So while he stood outside the balcony, nursing a drink in his hand and thought quietly, I opted to pack a bag for the night. We both needed space so I would do my thinking in the shower where I could cry and let my sounds be swallowed by the water. During it, I had planned to send Camille a message and ask if I could crash for the night or possibly longer. At the end of it, I was physically clean and emotionally cleansed— I had cried until the tears grew weary of me and abandoned me as well. Mentally, I still had words for him but my mind reminded me of my mini breakdown in the shower so I opted against it. I had just gotten dressed and was now seated at the edge of the bed, feet dangling off of the mattress whilst I stared down at my phone. I still hadn’t texted Cami, every time my finger hovered over the letters, I stopped myself. 

My head quickly perked up when I heard the door creak open. Elijah poked his head through and saw me, sitting in the dim lighting silent. He slowly strolled over towards me, coming to a full halt right in front. His hands were dug in his pockets and his stance screamed power but his eyes held a softness in them. He was peering at me but my eyes were glued to my phone; it was only then that he noticed the duffel next to my feet. 

“Please don’t go.” 

“I can’t stay.” 

“I apologize for what was said. I did not wish to hurt you.” 

“I know but it was true, wasn’t it?” I finally tore my eyes away and looked up at him. 

He removed one hand from his pocket and sighed, “I said it in anger.”

“No you didn’t.” I stood up and reached for his face. He moved closer and I placed my palm on his cheek. “You always think everything through.” 

He was quick to respond, “Not this.” 

“I won’t be gone long. I’ll give you your space.” I rubbed my thumb against his cheek in a soothing manner. 

He grabbed my four fingers and placed his thumb on my palm then brought my hand close to his mouth, lowering it to place a soft kiss on the inside of my wrist. “I do not wish for space, just you.” 

“We both need to rethink our places in each others’ lives. I know what you are to me and where you stand and I was sure I knew my position in your life but it looks like that has changed.” 

“It has not. I swear to you, Y/N.” 

I pulled my hand away from his slowly and looked past his shoulder. I headed towards my place on the couch, settled in front of the burning furnace and took a seat. I didn’t need to look behind me to know he was watching me so instead I patted the spot next to me. In a flash, he sat down and angled his body so that he faced me. Shaking my feet out of the slippers, I pulled them up on the couch and waited for him. Without a word, he fully sat back in the seat and opened his arms which I happily accepted. 

We sat peacefully in silence for a few moments. I was cradled on his lap with my legs outstretched on the cushions and covered with a blanket whilst he toyed with my hair, occasionally pressing a kiss on my temple. I was being choked by his cologne but there was no way I would voice that. I needed this anyways, the days I would be without him, I need to remember his scent. 

“I am sorry for tonight. I wish you would listen to me more often and come to me first but I can’t be mad at you for helping him.” I broke the silence. 

“I promise to, from here onwards.” He combed his fingers through my locks and asked, “Will you please stay with me?” 

“Only if you shower me with affection.” I smiled up at him only to find him already glancing down at me. 

“Let the showering commence.” 

In the blink of an eye, I was upright with my legs wrapped around his waist. We had made our way to the bed and under the warm blankets. My back was pressed against his front while he peppered my neck with kisses which made me twist and turn in his arms. I couldn’t help the small giggles — what a silly word — that escaped me. This only spurred him on and made him pull me closer and tighter towards him. 

“Are you showered yet?” 

I grinned up at him, “I think you have drowned me but I will accept your offer of stay.”

“How unfortunate, here I was hoping you were dry so I could give you a real one.” He smirked, his naughty fingers sneaking up the base of my shirt. 

I swatted them away playfully and shook my head, “Absolutely not Mr. Mikaelson. You will cuddle me and be an honorable gentleman.” 

“Really? Is that what you wish for my dear?” There was a smug smile playing on his lips and I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t enjoy it. 

“Yes, smother me with cuddles.” I simply said but then added with a slight smile, “For now at least, who knows what I’ll wish for later on.” 

Elijah didn’t say a word, instead he lowered his head down and kissed me. It was wanting but carefully controlled— soft and gentle. With a slight tickle of my sides, my lips parted to laugh and he took that opportunity and dove in. I knew exactly where this was heading and had no intention of stopping it. All that mattered was that by dawn, I will have solidified my place in his life. That was a promise.

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