#im working to find a direction to focus on because I have too many ideas
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We need more moodboards!! ✨😏💛
you shall have them! I'm so happy to know you enjoy my self indulgent silliness and thank you for enabling me ❤️❤️
#bird song#my face when I read your tags: 🥰🥰🥰🥰#100% you are my target audience and as long as you like them that's enough of a reason to post more#im working to find a direction to focus on because I have too many ideas#but we'll get there
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A Cup, and A Thread: A Post About System Communication
Hey, you know classic string telephone? The one made with two plastic cups and a piece of yarn, i suppose you recognize that old-school science toy? It's one of the simplest inventions that showcases how messages are sent from one place to another!
This little invention is very fitting to explain how inner communication works, so i hope today's theme of analogy will help you understand all of my messages im about to share, with a twist of a fiber.
There's a lot of things i want to address on this topic, thanks to all my 8 great friends who had helped me gather a variety of insights on what seems to be the problem, i have the answers right here that will be shared to the community, because of them!
You know what communication is?
I sure do, but let's both revise on what it means, according to Merriam-Webster, it's defined as..
"a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior."
It also means "a technique for expressing ideas effectively."
..Alright, we should be in the same page now, but, do we actually know what counts as 'good' communication in system context? After some examination from the given data, it was a resounding "No." This can also mean many may not have a clear idea on it, which will also be addressed.
Okay, tell me please?
Before i do tell, remember that communication is diverse, with no perfect or right way to do so. Just like animals, where different species use unique methods to pull it off, means can systems have their own unique styles too.
There are a few examples we see in animals; like how some use pheromones to talk to its own kind, while some read off from their signature body languages, and some use tones or cues that is meant to be recognized specifically, to each their own meanings.
So, good communication means ensuring that everyone in the system can understand and receive messages effectively which eases functioning and cooperation, regardless of how frequent or indirect the communication may be.
For us, systems have unique internal methods of communication that are based on how our brains function, not having any unique features in animals. These methods are very personal, so find what works best for you.
Here are the common styles so far:
Verbal: Where you talk aloud, or in a media like notes.
Abstract vibes: Where you speak no words, which encompasses feelings, or concepts, or ideas, that can be "felt" instead of heard or seen.
Images: Where the share of messages are conveyed through memories, expressive actions or symbols that are projected in the mind.
Direct thoughts: Where an internal dialogue is present, parts communicate using this inner voice, that can vary in different accents and intonations.
The media represents a lot of the stereotypical kind, direct thoughts, while the rest are less recognized. These four kinds are not limited to, but are the ones often represented, they are equally as important and real.
It's important to note that alters within a system can have different communication styles, or the collective may share the same style. You can't force yourself to use a particular kind, so focus on practicing and mastering your style.
..But there's many problems!
Which is why it's a good idea to educate yourself and find proper solutions in order to resolve them. I know some of them at best, as there might be issues i have not heard of, though will still be shared.
Consider a clear communication between two alters with an example of both cups, connected to the string with no obstructive noise at the background while exchanging messages, one conveys the content clearly, and the other hears and received with maximum clarity/understanding. This will be our main example that will be used to compare with the problems that usually arise in this topic.
The problem with multi-talking
Now, to explain interruptions from another part would be like having an extra string-attached cup tied to the middle of the initial cup, now with two inputs and one receiver, the messages will overlap each other and become obscured.
This can be resolved by being aware, then slowing down when talking and take turns between each other to avoid clashes which can easily overwhelm or confuse the receiver, or even the sender itself since losing track of thought or words can happen.
The problem with worser performance from stress
When stress happens, this can sometimes mess up your state to receive messages, imagine that outwards stressors had pulled and tugged your thread, now a bit twisted out and weak, which still can be used to communicate and hear, but now in a weaker clarity.
Because parts communicate mostly from internal ways, our brain networks are responsible to allow when activities inside (that doesn't necessarily involve system things) can happen. Just like how imagination runs in a mind that's wandering off, stress alerts you instead, snapping off from any safe or calm activities until the 'threat' is resolved.
You can gain temporary clarity by calming yourself down and bring all your focus to send your messages if any responds, if it doesn't happen, it would be best to wait it out until you naturally feel at ease once more, or solve the issue at hand and try again afterwards.
This may not work when you are in a fight or flight response, if you do got cutted off and need to contact anyone from inside, try using strong triggers to probe a response.
The problem with ineffective communication
It is like talking to a part who uses a rubber strand instead of cotton string as its mediator. Threads can conduct finer vibrations that can preserve the original verbal message, while rubber can represent for those who use vibes, as they're more broad and less specific. So if they attempt to talk to you with rubber, you might not receive it's message well,
This can be solved with having another part that are flexible or able to decipher, or find the middle ground where both can exchange better. (e.g. texts)
The problem of talking outside your subgroup
This is where it gets tricky, because there is a notable difference in communication where it's easier to converse inside your group while it's harder to converse outside of your group. What i mean by group is they are the people you meet and talk the most and have easy time communicating.
Imagine that the same group has the same length of the thread, the shorter, the better it retains or transfers message with no effort. Talking outside of your group would require you an extra pair of string telephone, but this time the thread is long as you're talking to another neighboring group, who isn't directly related with you.
Suggestions varies from trying different medias to contact with and see what works best, or rely on someone who have direct relations with the group you mean to interact with, acting as a bridge. Lowering barriers by consenting to get closer in co-conscious might do the trick too. Long term solution would be building ties to strengthen communication. (can also work with layers, better if you can 'travel' there to get direct interactions)
The problem with front and innerworld disconnection
It is normal to be out of contact from the inside when you're fronting, since this would mean you put down the cup to focus doing task or role job. To remedy this, try finding a moment to sit down or close your eyes, and feel yourself going back to your mind, since in order to contact those inside, you must lightly disconnect from the real world to focus better inwards.
The problem with having aphantasia
As if you heard the noise from the cup, but you're not sure where that sound is coming from nor aware of your surroundings as this condition blinds you visually (can vary from mild to severe, blurry/vague mental images to blank respectively).
Your innerworld is still there, using visualization is one way to immerse in, start relying on your tactile awareness, or your 'radar' that is, since it is possible to detect parts in your proximity. Rely on tangible medias such as texting or notes to keep track of things.
The problem with external noise
Having a comorbid of something, such as ADHD, autism, or OCD can create a mental chatter that exists in the background constantly.. if not most of the time, imagine that the location of the telephone is somewhere bustling, now it is harder to tell which one is intrusive, random chatters, or an alter's voice.
There is not a lot to say except learning how to separate those noises from your people, it is done best by slowing down and voice your messages wide and clear to create a distinction from such background chatter, making it easier to differentiate.
Other conditions like depression and anxiety can also affect the clarity and ease of communicating.
The problem with distinguishing others
For those with comorbids and aphantasia, this can make it much harder, though still possible! One last problem with communication is sometimes not knowing who is who, which creates obstacles in different ways. Imagine that there are multiple cups lined up to you as the receiver, this creates difficulty on pinpointing whose speaking. Thus, having problems on replying back or made sure if the first sentence relate to the second one, or it belonged to someone else.
The only solution there is, has to be a long term one. As you're suggested to slowly collect and recognize different speech pattern, assigned vibes of other parts, when they usually reply or what topics/mentions brings them up, and different accents or tone if any.
It is not required to 'know' physical attributes or what they look like, but this one will help a ton and usually the easiest way in distinguishing who is who. The solution is to go through a trial and error (arrange all the attributes you like/feel connected to, and see what sticks) and document all the findings somewhere, incase you're forgetful/difficulty memorizing.
Special mentions
It is worth knowing that communication is greatly affected by your state of mind + physical health, the conditions you have, the maturity of the alter in communicating skills, and the style you or the collective dominantly have.
That being said, having the same role, or source, or how old or new an alter is doesn't generally affect the ease of exchanging messages.
Lastly, inner communication also obeys similar rules to how conversation works in real life, this can be taken from examples:
The proximity of the talker you're with affects how much you can understand what is being said. It makes sense that you need to focus harder to hear what the mumbles meant when they're further away from you.
Being with people you can vibe along always results in a better and more effective exchange, as you don't have to explain twice for them to get the message. (mutual understanding)
How loud the environment is also affects how focused/undisturbed you are within a conversation, and it takes effort to separate the background noise to catch what they're saying.
People also have their own ways of expressing their message, some are more dominant in body language or etc. This is why it is important to recognize and understand what it means. You will always have your own dominant way of socializing, but this doesn't mean you can't learn other ways, partially.
Now comprehending the concept of system communication does become easier, right? This should serve as a good framework to start building and understanding connections.
One last phone call
I hope everything i have said here has been loud and clear, if there is a problem that has not been mentioned that needs fixing, give this string telephone a tug and i'd answer your call alright?
May this post address all the things you need more than a hotline help centre and leave with full satisfaction.
If you please, i will now indulge in the whole history of telephone strings, join me if you wish! Did you know it's originally made of tin can instead of a plastic cup?
-- The next post that will be out: all about introjection. Stay tuned!
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#sysblr#plural#system stuff#jeducates
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id also like to know changbins opinions or thoughts on idols who have lazy scandals ie: they might be more hard working for their own solo projects but in their group they look like they dont even want to be there or arent always putting in enough efforts cause these days they can kinda half ass it if they want too with the whole lipsynching debacles that occur so yh id love to know his thoughts on these sorts of topics cause hes been an idol for so long he must have many feelings bottled up
cause i think hes one of the hard working ones who always want to improve or maybe do something entirely different with the groups direction cause i think skz have a habit of always playing safe and going with whats familiar to them and their fans how does he feel about skz direction and what more does he want to add or do in the near future or does he see himself going into acting and venturing out of the idol image or away from the group?
oh and how does he feel about the complexity of idol performances does he want it to slow down or remain the same? does he feel he gets enough freedom or not enough? what else do i want to know from changbin?
U don't know how happy i am to finally see a Changbin request😍😮💨 THANK YOU!!!
Changbins thoughts about idols with lazy scandals?
He's thought about that and thinks thats an issue that should be observed from multiple perspectives before making a judgement and he thinks a "scandal"/ situation like that has multiple sides to the story and he refrains from making any judgements if he doesn't know the situation himself. Also he thinks thats hardly a scandal and people should revise their (omg his articulation is so specific im cant even keep up, he wants to use words i don't even know, help😭) view of what components make up a scandal (i literary had to go to chatgpt to help me find the right words/expression. Still not satisfied tho, but its better than nothing). If tho it is proven that the idol is lazy performing for solely unprofessional reasons he's not really bothered by it as it doesn't affect him in any way. And if then it has a positive effect on him cuz people who appreciate effort can clearly see the comparison and appreciate his effort even more. He knows he's kept his dignity and pride towards himself and doesn't really care what other people do with themselves.
4oC, The Hermit
How does he feel about skz direction?
He does agree that they stick to whats familiar but he doesn't think thats necessarily a bad thing because that has brought them the success and bag they have today. Which is wonderful! He does wish though, to mix things up every once in a while but i think he wants to talk more about that later on in the reading. He wants to have a bit of darkness and a shocking element to his/their performances and songs, like the sound of the beat, the arrangement and melody, he wants the lyrics to shock and get gasps out of peoples moths. He wants a big reaction out of people that don't even know how to react to what they just heard/saw because its THAT good and THAT different and THAT weird! But more on that later (he keeps saying that and then he keeps on talking😂, i think he's excited)
(Also while he was talking i caught glimpses of his ideas/what he means and i really do hope he gets the opportunity to do something like that either solo or with the group or with other artists but i think we all will need that to come out and will EAT IT UP!!!)
(There's much more hiding in the Card but i feel like if i listen to it all, i'll write this post until tomorrow and won't even come to the rest so for now I'll leave it at that and see what more he has to add in the next questions.)
4oP, WOF, AoS
What does he want to do in the future?
He is actually thinking about it even now in the presence. He's evaluating multiple options and thinking about which one suits him best and will bring him most fulfillment. His focus is for it to bring him inspiration. Meaning he wants to be passionate and burn for his craft, he wants to go inspired to work every day and do something useful and meaningful. He also wants to be authentic, to be himself, to be free and have power in himself. Like have authority over himself? He can choose what he does, how he does it, etc.
2oW, 7oC, THP, PoS
His feelings on the complexity of idol performances
That they take lots of effort and skill. This also means u have to have discipline, u have to invest time, blood, sweat, tears even more, into it. You have to burn for the stage, and when you do you get rewarded. The stage rewards you. The screams rewards you. The praise rewards you. You feel loved and you feel like you did well. You grow and your confidence grows. I don't think he wants performances to get easier, he likes a got challenge and he like a good opportunity to prove himself and his abundant abilities.
The Chariot
Is he satisfied with the amount of freedom he has?
"What freedom?" Ugh😅 i was hoping for something more positive. But to be fair, he explains that even tho he doesn't have freedom he'd like to have thats what "pays the bills" for now - and i actually feel like a more accurate expression would be - serves the wine - cuz the money they get ain't just for bills its for buying cars and purchasing mansions. (I think he's someone that really appreciates money, idk how to explain it but i don't see a shame or something in him abut money like there is with lots of people, for example he has mentioned money several times in the entire reading, he's not focused on it tho, like its not all there is in his mind, but he also doesn't completely shut its existence or importance in certain matters and just makes sure to involve it as it is - a main piece of the picture). Back to the reading - he has much more to show, to offer, to create but the boundaries he finds himself within don't allow him to. I feel like mostly the beautiful and the light and the vanilla is allowed. Only thats approved. And i think he has tried to push (expand is a word he likes the sound more of🌝) the boundaries a bit but he was almost always met with a decline and until now things have been always kept in a pretty aesthetic package. So i wouldn't say he lacks complete freedom like he said in the beginning, he does have certain boundaries within he has freedom of creation but those boundaries have become way too small a long time ago and have begun to even feel suffocating, to the point he often loses his inspiration or desire to work on pieces or projects - as I've read in previous readings. But nonetheless - it pays WELL🌝
Death, 9oP, The World
Anything else he wants to add?
Yes!!! Stay tuned for my boys upcoming projects and look forward to him in the future he's gonna bring something new and fresh to the table and feed the innovation & diversity-starved!!! Basically - i believe he's already making place for something in the future, probably a solo or mixtape or something where he'll blow out mind. I suppose with their new contracts maybe he has negotiated more freedom to himself and his creative endeavors and is excited about the new creational power he now has/will soon have and what he'll do with it.
8oW, The Magician, 5oP, The Emperor
Also a quick disclaimer - the reading became more a channeled reading than a tarot reading so i hope it was still understandable and coherent.
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any future!rina hc?
not many tbh, i actually enjoy "definite" endings/flash-forwards in most cases but with them im glad it was left open-ended! that said –
ok so like. the r&j movie's going to flop. you can't just have the same story but simply make them NOT die in the end and expect it to work. but gina's performance is the one thing that gets praised in it, which does help her a lot
ricky's not romeo though kdlfj
they do lsoh for their spring musical. the two of them get cast as audrey ii – they handle the puppets and alternate who says the lines by scene. it's not the part either of them imagined getting but they have a lot of fun
gina goes back to camp the next summer and promptly twists her ankle, so she just choreographs the show but doesn't participate :( which is fine with her tbh, she's very exhausted having just finished the movie and the musical and this is the only break she'll get before starting movie press and stuff (and senior year)
ricky unfortunately has orientation during week 2 of camp so he doesn't go but he sends her care packages every single day and comes to opening night to hand out cards <3
EJ's there to direct again and he and gina become proper friends
the fall musical is &J and gina is obviously juliet and she just rolls her eyes when that's announced. jet's romeo. when the media catches wind of this they have a field day ("porter's performance only emphasizes the missteps in the film…") which is also Not Great
she's also stressed the fuck out because college apps are also happening and ricky ends up driving down every chance he gets to keep her company and help take her mind off of things. turns out he's very good at editing essays (and distracting her…)
he gives her a very sweet pep talk during intermission of the show because she's on the verge of a breakdown at this point
her mom didn't make it to opening night again but both his parents bring her flowers and cheer the loudest during her bows
gina's mom plans a vacation to london over winter break and she begs and begs until her mom lets ricky come too
her mom has business meetings half the time so they wander around holding hands and looking at the christmas lights and doing ALL the touristy things
ricky had no idea what a panto is initially but he enjoys it so much he wonders multiple times why they're not a thing in america
gina just loves that he loved it
the spring musical is cabaret, she's sally, her performance gets her nominated for the jimmy awards (which she goes on to win)
but she decides to focus on school for a bit after high school even though roles are being offered to her left-and-right
she gets a full-ride scholarship to usc and ricky is SO PROUD.
he snuck in through the window the night she told him and he squealed so loudly her mom got scared and ran up there and caught them lol but even she can't hide her smile esp when she finds out the reason
ricky tells her he applied to transfer to csula and got in
obviously she kisses him senseless after that. he tries to shrug it off as not a big deal and shes just like "no, it's amazing, i'm so proud of you" an he starts crying, basically
he explores a ton of majors but eventually decides on education with minors in music production and theatre – he knows whatever he does, he wants to help people feel the way he did when he found the drama club
goes w/o saying but they get married at some point and have a house full of golden-retrievers
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i think the best advice i can give to a writer like myself who struggles with adhd in the way that i do (too many ideas, too little focus) is to write whatever scene your brain tells you to write in relation to your story. sometimes that means a new scene in the middle of your novel with no clear direction of what comes before or after it and sometimes that means rewriting your first chapter for the third time because you know more now about your story and figured out a better way to write the same scene.
and keep it all under 1 master document (or folder with all the different versions of ur story) that u periodically read through because you will find the common threads and pull at them to stitch together the exact story you wish to tell.
i say this because for years i tried so many different methods and i find this is the best way to work with my brain, not against it. sometimes the scenes i think have nothing to do with my novel have the most information about the world i wanna build within the story once i give myself time and space from those scenes.
stop fighting the way your brain works, work with your brain and you will thank yourself for it in the future. i date every scene too but im just extra like that i think.
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I've been questioning on and off since i think, 2020? 2021? if im plural or not. At first i decided that no im not, because i dont have did/osdd/etc and I wasnt open to the idea of any other form of plurality bc it was always looked down upon. I stopped thinking about it for a while but more recently I've been having trains of thoughts that dont really feel like they belong to me: im not sure how to explain it, its not a voice, feels more like a thought that was placed into my mind but doesn't belong to *me*; but then i was thinking maybe im just personifying my intrusive thoughts etc + i have a history of experiencing paranoia/delusions too so, yk
We dont really switch either. I space out a lot (i do dissociate, im just quite confident i dont have any form of disordered plurality) and it occasionally it *feels* like im not in control but I know I still am. The most "out of control" i've felt was doing something and feeling that it was *influenced* by someone else, but not actually done by them. A lot of the things I thought were alters (back in 2021) were also more fragments of myself, I would say (minus one guy who's more distinct, but idk if im just making all of that up.)
I'm not asking you to tell me "yes, you are definitely plural" or "no definitely not" of course, I'm just wondering if there's any input or anything you could direct me with or anything ? ^^;
first sorry if you have been waiting on a reply, tumblr apparently isn't showing us notifications for asks anymore. Also our answer will be above the read more, and we'll stick some resources, blogs, ect under that we think might be helpful.
So a few things, starting with some general stuff for when you're questioning things plural and otherwise.
On the "am I making this up or not?" we encourage anyone whose questioning to distinguish between "making something up/faking it" and misinterpreting things when looking at their experiences.
If you aren't purposely forcing things or consciously creating them then you aren't making something up, you can misinterpret one thing as another but if you aren't trying to do something then you aren't making it up, making something up/faking it is a conscious choice.
We also encourage anyone questioning anything to worry less about "am I right about this lable?" and focus more on "does this label help me/make my life easier/explain things to me?" It takes the pressure off about being wrong and focusses on what the thing means to you specifically.
If you decide to identify as plural and find that no, this doesn't actually fit there's nothing wrong with going "nope not actually me" and continuing on with your journey.
We've gone through many different sets of identities and pronouns before we found what fits, because often the only way to know is to see if it works. The importance thing is to make sure that whatever you choose fits you, instead of you forcing yourself to fit it.
We definitely recommend journaling or doing some sort of tracking to see how you feel about different things over time. Honestly a small notebook you keep in your pocket and jot down any stray thoughts or influences would probably be a great start.
Its actually something we did when trying to sort out the influence of ocd from schizospec from plural. It can help you see patterns over time that would otherwise be really hard to spot and also having an external record helps avoid a lot of the pitfalls of human memory
Onto the more plural related stuff. So one thing to note is that its not at all uncommon to not directly hear anything or feel others beyond stray thoughts and feeling influences especially with plurals who aren't fully aware of being plural yet.
Internal communication often takes time and practice in order to become reliable. Its not something that you'll regularly see in plural communities online because by their nature most have some degree of awareness and internal communication, otherwise they wouldn't have sought out the community but it is completely normal.
Feeling like others in brain are versions of you, or fragments also is not uncommon. Its another experience that doesn't get spoken of on here but its one many have, smile/Wren/Ghost are some of our oldest members and started as alternate versions of each other before becoming more individual. Some find that as members become more aware and communicate improves members become more differentiated some stay the same, either way its not an unknown or weird experience.
One thing we highly recommend for you is looking into the median community and their experiences. Median falls under the plural umbrella but covers those who feel their system is less differentiated/closer to singlet.
Okay this is already huge and I think we hit on most points but please feel free to ask follow ups about anything we've said
- Everyone
Blogs
@median-culture-is
@multiplicity-positivity
@inclusiveplurality
@pluralpolls <— good for getting an idea of different experiences in the community
We'll also add our #accounts and narratives tag to this post, not everything is plural but its our tag for collecting different experiences so there's probably some stuff there that's useful
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @aidaronan and @softbrah thank yewwwwwww!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
50!!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
405,752
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now it's all Stranger Things, all the time baby. But you never know when the madness might strike for something new. Or re-strike for something I thought I was done with haha.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
In Focus (Check Please) Up the Punks (Stranger Things) we're gonna fight til we do it right (Check Please) If you want him, come and claim him (Stranger Things) t'hy'la (Stranger Things)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I'm usually really good about it for the first day or so after a fic has posted, and then I kind of.... fall off with it usually. I read all comments! I appreciate all comments! Usually what happens is I see the email notif on my phone, mentally go "ah I will craft a perfectly thoughtful and appreciative and stirring response to this later when I have time to do it justice!" and then I do not do that.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
The one that comes to mind is a fic I wrote for the Hobbit, hands too small to hold it, which is an AU where everyone lives but Bilbo still has the ring and the events of LOTR are still barreling towards them.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Let Us Dwell in Fair Ithilien and There Make a Garden with @greenlikethesea is ONE BIG MASSIVE HAPPY ENDING (after 10+years of tragic angsty pining but w/e). I also wrote a little happy family ever after Garak/Bashir for Star Trek DS9, between the noise.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
noooo it's never happened! If I'm getting hate it's behind my back ahaha who knows what goes down in y'alls discords, that’s none of my business! Im a Leo and I work in marketing, so I am not terribly tortured by that kind of thing ahahaha
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
SURE DO! I don't know what "what kind" means. The smut kind. I've done closed door fade to black, I've done some explicit stuff, I try to give you range baby.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I LOVE A CROSSOVER! Star Trek/Stranger Things is pretty crazy. My current project is Stranger Things/You've Got Mail put in a blender with Supernatural, so that's decently zany too.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I thought Quorum had been translated into Chinese, but I can't find any evidence of it, so might be all in my head ahaha.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I love to collaborate with folks! When the creative chemistry is right it's RIGHT, and it's so fun to ping-pong ideas and paragraphs back and forth. I co-wrote Check Please fics with @softbrah, have written a universe of Stranger Things fic with @greenlikethesea, and it's all been a blast. Me and @aidaronan are cooking up some ideas, if the two of us can ever stop signing up for bangs and things long enough to get to em.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Well of course I will say Steddie right now because I've been living here for over a year and a half. It truly does have just the most delicious dynamic, however the setup and wherever you take their characterizations.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't know if I'll ever finish my Vampire Eddie immediately post-canon fic, I didn't have much direction with it, just Vibes.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I like to think I'm good with atmospheric sensory details, it's something I really care about when writing at least. I definitely enjoy dialogue, too.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action scenes are hard, and I struggle with nailing (heh) the physicality of sex scenes. My haters in their discords are welcome to chime in here 😂😂
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I have no thoughts in particular. If it works in the fic and you've made sure your translation is right if you're not fluent in that language, hell yeah.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Lord of the Rings. You will never see this fic.
N E V E R.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
IT IS REALLY HARD TO CHOSE AMONGST MY CHILDREN. I put a lot of my heart into I was open to pain and crossed by the rain (Wayne Munson my beloved) and I'm really proud of what I did with that one. I truly wrote Can't We Be Seventeen knowing it was really just for me, to scratch one of those desperate writing itches after an intense period of fixating on the Heathers musical soundtrack, and I really like that fic too.
Tagging @occasionaloverboy@greenlikethesea @thefreakandthehair @henrystars @capriciouslyterminal
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S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!
Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)
I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)
The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)
Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)
This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.
For more irrelevant details on the “process”…
As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.
It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.
(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)
But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)
But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.
#mihrsuri#asks#wip ask game#wip title ask game#even despite all the rewriting and editing this is still rambly af#doesn't make sense#I wish I could say what happens at the end of chapter 3 lmao#hadn't even realized that link was to yours! funny how you asked about this one then too#the same way thalia asked about bars :D#thank you for asking and sorry for the delay!
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what are your impression of midnight museum?:) did you like it as a whole? who's your favourite character? what didn't you like?
OH I LOVED MIDNIGHT MUSEUM!!!!!! i mean, okay, let's be honest.. it was an absolute mess and if you asked me to explain what the hell happened in the last two episodes i probably would not be able to do it, BUT STILL!!!!!!! I LOVED IT. sometimes being able to entertain your viewers is more than enough to make a show both memorable and likeable, and i think midnight museum is the perfect example of this
the show is a mixture of fantasy, science fiction and mystery, which are three genres im personally very weak for. the first half also has an episodic nature to it that i miss in television a lot: it can be boring when there isn’t a strong horizontal narrative getting advanced in the background, but if you can make it work it’s really fun for the viewers, and in this particular case i do believe the show was at its strongest when it fully embraced this format. the ‘artifact of the week’ with the enigma of dome’s identity was really entertaining to me, and i loved how creepy and disturbing some of the storylines were. the decision to throw in an abundance of biblical symbolisms as well in the second half of the show probably wasn't a good idea for the plot as a whole, but that's something i find incredibly fascinating so i'd be lying if i said i didn't love every (confusing) second of it
the real strength of the show lies in its cast, though. i already knew that gun and nanon are incredible actors, but i wasn't familiar with tor before midnight museum and i will always be grateful to it for introducing him to me because he is phenomenal. he showed up on that set every single day and decided to give so much yearning longing pining aching worrying agony anguish guilt restraint with the twitch of his mouth alone, and i respect him so much for it. honestly there aren't many people who are able to convey so many emotions in such an effective way. the supporting cast was also pretty solid and some of the guest actors gave an outstanding performance, like fah and tu in episode 5 for example
the other strong point of the show is the relationship between khatha and dome/chan/one. it’s basically on the level of chinese censored gay romance, and even when the writing didn’t give it justice, gun and tor’s on screen chemistry still managed to make it incredibly compelling to watch (an anon once told me that gun would have insane chemistry with literally anyone he got paired with and you know what? I COULDN’T AGREE MORE). the choice of not making their relationship a romantic one does baffle me a little tbh, especially because they were trying to push the brothers agenda while also giving explicitly romantic elements and parallels, but i can easily overlook this since the ending was very satisfying to me (i also don’t think this was queerbaiting btw, but that’s another story)
as for the things i disliked, my main issue with the show is the execution. the premise was original and had a lot of potential, but it’s obvious that the writing team lacked an overall vision of the (overcomplicated) story they wanted to tell: the moment they abandoned the episodic structure to focus on the larger narrative, the events start missing a sense of unity and direction, and the characters feel aimless too. i find every member of the main gang really interesting and likeable, but with the exception of khatha (love that old man btw, he is my absolute fave) they’re all criminally underdeveloped
MDL originally had midnight museum listed as having 15 episodes, and im not sure where did that information come from, but i actually think they did need those 5 extra episodes to make the plot more coherent, give more depth to the characters and explore the relationship between them (we should have had AT LEAST another june focused episode, a couple on triphob and bam and their relationship, one on anthika and boon, and one to let dome gain a little more sense of identity). if we ever get a season 2 they better fix this and fully develop all the characters BEFORE they try to explain what the hell is going on
ANYWAY. TL;DR:
#making reviews isn't a talent i possess but im trying ;;;;;#also i didn't mention this because it's a spoiler but another thing i disliked is [SPOILER][SPOILER][SPOILER] anthika dying#you don't make a character who is taught from a young age that she has to sacrifice herself to god finally learn to believe in herself#and LIVE just for herself#only to kill her off the next episode by sacrificing herself#i understand the predestined doomed 'you can't escape your fate' narrative but to work they should have given her way more emotional depth#ANYWAY I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING#thank you for wanting to know my opinion anon that's so sweet 🥺💜#hopefully you're not regretting it ;;;;;#midnight museum#m: ask#monica watches
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i’m not sure :’) i guess maybe i have a rough idea? i’d love to work in the entertainment industry (like film or books) and maybe have a marketing or pr job? im taking more practical courses in january, which will be filmmaking and editing so hopefully by the end of this school year ill have a better idea of which direction i want to go in!
ah that’s so cool!! if you ever do end up doing a postgrad here let me know lol ill probably be doing one too 😭 it’s cliché but id love to do mine in london, it’s such a gorgeous city! are you studying anything specific in marine biology? like choosing an area of focus or just doing everything? do you know what you’d like to do after you graduate? x
yay im happy to hear that!! <33
i’m still looking with a few of my current flatmates. it’s rlly hard to find something bc it’s just a small town and there’s so many students 😭 i might just end up on campus again or in student dorms off campus instead of a house / apartment
I KNOW RIGHT!!!!!! im paying 9000 pounds for this year and they can’t even give us a proper shower head, a dishwasher, or a dish rack. and we have to PAY for laundry which is like 2.70 pounds for the washer and another 2.30 for the dryer. RIDICULOUS 😭
also im so sorry for responding so late, i just saw the notification that you answered my ask, my apologies xx
that’s so cool!! i don’t know much about media as a career but i imagine that it’s quite a broad field. but i hope you find something you want to do, i’m sure you’ll be great at whatever you choose!
i adore london! the trip we took there earlier in the year was one of my favourite experiences i’ve ever had, i completely fell in love with the city. i really hope i end up doing my postgrad there but i was planning on going to plymouth first, they have one of the best marine biology programs in the world. i’m doing a bit of everything but right now i want to work in turtle or penguin conservation. i already have a bit of experience because the aquarium where i work has a great program in both of those fields so i guess i’ll decide once i have more experience working with the animals
the way things are going i’m probably also gonna live on campus 😭 it’s not necessarily a bad thing but dorms on campus literally cost almost half of the school fees, it’s insane. and they’re definitely not worth that much money!! and like you said, all of the student accommodation makes you pay for your laundry and some of the places even make you bring your own kitchen appliances?? like what first year student is gonna own a microwave??? but i’m not done looking yet so there’s still hope lol. have you found a new place yet?
also, i’m so so so sorry that i took so long to reply , finals have been kicking my ass 😭😭
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I apologized for how I was being, for the stress I was projecting onto him. I don't want to apologize for my feelings and I won't submit to the pressure he puts on me.
I promised my commitment to him, to our future. That doesn't mean I have to sacrifice my present to please him. I am allowed to take care of myself while staying true to my commitments. Right now I do think about how to separate from him, but I know that's me trying to run away from the distress. I don't need to run away, and I don't need to force myself to be present. I can do what I need for myself.
No one has been on my side. No one has respected me. I don't need to force myself to forgive them to make things civil. If I don't forgive them I don't forgive them. I don't need to force myself to be kind and sweet to the people that hurt me. My feelings and experiences are valid.
I'm inspired right now to extend my knowledge, grow my brain, and learn everything I can. I have the ability within me, and I can bring that out into existence.
I don't know who needs me right now, other than me. I'm allowing myself to be depressed about the things that bother me. I care about people, but I need to care for myself. I can't care for others if I have nothing to give. I don't need to force that. I know who I am and the amazing things I'm capable of doing. I know I'm special in this world. Everyone is special because they are them. I can be me too.
Let me focus on the things I want to do. I have so many ideas and I always want to execute them, but discipline and executing come together. Let me go slow, but by bit. I'll find my direction as I go. Let me stay in the present seconds, don't think weeks ahead. Life doing move in chunks, in moves in pieces.
I'm an artist. I see the world differently. I may not work with it, but I see the beauty in things. I'm more in control than I've ever been. I'm more grounded and present. I can do anything. I'm capable of it.
Staying aware of my trauma behaviors is helping. I've learned its more harmful to go backwards despite it being the one thing I want to do. I make mistakes, that's alright, but I don't dwell on them and make myself feel bad. I acknowledge what Ive done and I full heartedly do my best to learn and be better. I can be proud of myself for that. I've come a long way.
Talking to my friends about things help. Getting support is really all I need. I let myself go too much at times, but I'm aware and Im actively working on it. I can trust that they care about me and want to support me no matter what. My problems are mine alone and I may feel alone, but I must remember there are people who believe in me, and that feels good to depend on. trying to explain myself and my situations is hard, I get jumbled up in my words and I sometimes speak straight out of emotion. Having friends is great and helps, though I do need to find a therapist to have a healthy outlet to talk. I want that for myself.
I can tell that I'm learning and growing. I'm figuring a lot on my own but I don't need to with some things. I can receive help and help will help. All the small things I do matter as well. I can care and take care of myself. I want to. I may not register myself as a valuable human being but I'm working on changing that cause I know it's not healthy thinking. Being under power and control or someone makes it difficult, I've been in the position all my life whether I put myself there or it was forced upon me. I get scared when I think about gaining independence, fear of upsetting the other person or defending myself. It shouldnt be hard and I'm not at fault for wanting what's best for me. If other people don't agree, I don't need to submit to make them more comfortable. I don't need to give up control. I've been that person. I don't need to be anymore.
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Crash Course - Bucky Barnes
a/n: this one? im in LOVE with this fic and im not even ashamed of it. there is just something about the MC helping him get used to living in the new century and im a sucker for it. so please enjoy this fluffy piece!
pairing: Bucky X Reader
word count: 3.6k
summary: Bucky is a regular at the café where you work at and seeing him struggling with technology, you offer to help him, teaching him the basics while you are both thinking about taking it a little further than just a crash course.
masterlist
The time between the morning rush and lunch time is always quiet, the café is almost completely empty, that’s why Bucky prefers to go out during that time, tuck himself away in the corner of the small but cozy place, a black coffee steaming on the wooden table in front of him, his laptop or a book or his phone reserving his attention, whatever he decides to put his energy into that day.
Today has been a rainy day, therefore the morning was a lot quieter than usually, not many likes to make an extra trip for a coffee in the pouring rain, so you’ve been enjoying the calmness, the soft jazz music playing through the speakers as you are putting away the freshly washed cups behind the counter. As if he has an appointment, Bucky walks into the café with a laptop under his arm, his cap hiding part of his face, but you can still see the shy smile on his lips as he closes the door behind him, the little bell chiming for a second time at his arrival.
“Welcome back, the usual?” you ask as he heads to his spot.
“Yes please,” he nods, shooting you a thankful smile.
You try to ignore the little butterflies in your stomach at the sight of the man, it’s almost ridiculous how you still get nervous when you see him, even though he has been showing up every day at the same time for the past about two months. You just can’t help it, there’s just something in those ocean eyes and perfect manner he always treats you with, something you don’t often get these days. Not many take the time to ask about your day or wish you a good one after you hand them their coffee, but Bucky is different. The same question falls from his lips every time you appear at his table with his order.
“How has your day been going?” he asks when you place the cup next to his laptop that’s loading.
“Pretty quiet, the rain keeps people away,” you chuckle, hoping your blush is not as apparent as it feels. “What about yours?”
“Just the same as usual,” he smiles softly and you nod, though you have no idea what’s usual for him. He might be friendly and quite welcoming when he is sitting at the café, he often chats with you about anything and everything, yet still, you know near nothing about him and his life outside of this place. It’s clear he is the kind of person that prefers to keep things to himself, but sometimes you are so desperate for just the smallest crumb of information about him. With the lack of details, you often find yourself making up things about him, like what his favorite dish is, where he likes to shop, what shows he watches on the TV. You might be entirely wrong about all of these, but it’s all you have.
Moving back behind the counter you busy yourself with cleaning it off as Bucky’s attention shifts to the screen in front of him. There are only two more customers in there and they are quite locked away in their own world as well, a college student working on some kind of assignment on her second espresso and an old lady solving Sudoku at the table near the window, sipping on a nice latte.
You can’t help but glance in his direction every now and then as you move the muffins around on the counter. He seems deeply focused, eyebrows knitted together as he is clicking away on the computer. From the looks of it, he is solving some kind of enigma, but when you walk past his table you see that he has an email open on the screen, his cursor moving around kind of aimlessly.
“Not finding the right words?” you ask, stopping to clean the table next to his that was previously occupied by a young couple. His eyes snap up to you before he huffs shaking his head.
“No, I’m just… terribly bad at IT stuff and I’m supposed to “CC” someone on this email,” he explains, using his fingers to air-quote as he glances back at the screen. “But if I’m being honest I don’t even know what it means,” he admits with a nervous chuckle.
You find it amusing, even cute that he is like an old man with these stuff. You’ve seen him struggling to type in a text message before on his flip phone that’s from the last century for sure and now this.
Placing the tray of cups down on the table you move over to him, taking the free chair next to him as you reach for the laptop, but you stop before touching it.
“May I…?”
“Go ahead,” he gestures with a nod.
You turn the device towards yourself as you click a few times, bringing up the option to send a copy of the email to another receiver.
“CC means that more people get the same email. You can put their addresses here. But you can also BCC people, in that case, the original receiver won’t see if the email was sent to others as well,” you explain patiently. Bucky tries his best to focus on the screen and what you’re saying, rather than the way your lips are moving and how badly he wants to taste them.
You haven’t been the only one feeling flustered and like a giddy teenager and Bucky didn’t choose this café as his usual spot for nothing. He spotted you the first time he stumbled in and the way you smiled brightly at everyone and the sweet chiming of your laughter made him want to come back the moment he stepped out that day. So he returned the next day and then the next day again… and now he couldn’t even imagine a day without seeing your eyes light up when he walks in while he can only hope you are just as happy to see him as he is to see you.
You help him send his email and you cheer in victory once it’s done and sent.
“See? It’s not as hard as it seems,” you smile at him gently, patting his arm that’s covered by a hoodie and your eyes fall onto his gloved hands on the tabletop.
“Yeah, I just have a lot of catching up to do from the past seven decades,” he mumbles under his breath, though he immediately regrets not keeping his mouth shut.
Your eyes flicker to his hand once again, then up to meet his gaze and he knows he just outed himself. He is expecting the usual: disgust, disappointment, even fear. That’s how most people react when they find out who he really is. But as he stares back at you, scared like a little kitten, you just smile back at him softly.
It’s not that you haven’t heard of the Avengers, because it’s impossible not to know who they are. You were just not expecting one of them to become a regular at your working place. The few times you saw him on TV he had long hair and his face was covered with a mask, so you’re not surprised you didn’t put the picture together. But knowing now who he is, you don’t see him in a worse lighting. If anything, you feel a little sad that he had to go through so much in his extremely long life.
“Well, feel free to ask any more questions. I’m not an IT guy, but I can help you with everyday stuff,” you tell him and he is in awe at your very normal, very sweet reaction. All he can do is nod as you stand from the table and grab the tray you abandoned not long ago, moving back behind the counter.
When you glance up your gaze meets his as he is still staring at you, nervous, a little anxious, but definitely relieved by your smooth reaction to finding out his identity. You shoot him a bright smile before moving to the table of the old lady who asks for another latte and as Bucky follows your frame move across the room he can’t help the small smile that tugs on his lips.
Your offer doesn’t stay unused. In fact, Bucky shows up at the café the next few days with a handful of questions for you, genuine ones, and a few he already knows the answer to, but wants to hear you explain them anyway. And you help him with anything, sitting at his table whenever you have a few free minutes between customers. He asks you about the internet, social media, online data bases and sources, going through a list from the little notebook he always keeps with himself.
The times spent with him are your favorite part of the day. You always look forward to whatever issue Bucky is going to bring up, fearing that one day he might run out of questions, but that just never comes. And you don’t know it, but your little sessions are the highlights of his days as well, listening to your smooth voice as you explain even the smallest things to him with so much patience, he is convinced you should become a teacher.
He thinks about asking you out every day, the question is always on the tip of his tongue.
What are you doing tonight? Would you want to go out with me? Do you want to grab a bite with me after your shift?
However he just never gets to actually say the words out loud. He is growing impatient with himself, he used to have no problem with asking girls out, but seven decades and another life as a brain-washed assassin later, this task feels way too impossible.
You’ve been telling him to get a smartphone for the past couple of days and though he seemed adamant, one day he shows up with a brand new one, still in the box.
“Oh my God, is that what I think it is?” you tease him with a dramatic gasp. Chuckling to himself he nods as he places the box to the counter while you are making the order of one of the customers. Today has been a little busier than usually, probably because of the special offer of 10% off from the new Cuban coffee beans your boss ordered in.
“I need a teacher to show me the ropes though.”
“Oh, Bucky, I would love to, but today is a bit crowded,” you pout as you put the lid onto the paper cup and hand it over to the customer, another one already walking in, eyeing the offer written on the black board behind you.
He didn’t even think you wouldn’t say yes, it never occurred to him that the timing might not be the best. You see as his smile slowly disappears from his scruffy face and your heart breaks seeing him like this.
“Yeah, sorry. Don’t want to keep you up,” he mumbles feeling defeated, but before he could grab the box from the counter, you put your hand on it, your fingers brushing against his gloved one, the tiny touch making both of you flustered.
“But how about after work?” you suggest and his eyes immediately light up. Spending time with you without any customers interrupting? That sounds like heaven to him.
“Y-you sure? If you have something to do, I—“
“Nothing to do,” you smile at him. You grab a napkin from the counter and a pan from near the cash register, quickly scribbling down your address before handing it over to him. “I’ll be home by seven,” you inform him as he glances down at your handwriting, noting how well it fits your personality. He then looks back at you nodding, as if he was just handed the best Christmas present ever.
“I’ll be there,” he smiles gratefully before stepping away from the counter and letting you work.
Five minutes after seven, Bucky is standing at your front door with a bag of Chinese food in his hands as he is trying to build up the courage to ring your doorbell. He found out that you live just a few corners away from the café, so he found your address easily.
“Come on, dude. Don’t be such a loser,” he mumbles to himself as he circles his shoulders before finally pushing the button. A short, buzzing sound is heard from the other side of the door and he stares at the 6B sign in front of you as he hears footsteps from inside. A few moments later the door swings open and there you are, still wearing the same clothes from earlier, a bright smile adorning your face as you beam at your guest.
“Come on in!” you gesture for him as he steps into the small apartment. “Tried to clean up a bit, but if I’m being honest I’m starting to grow out this place,” you chuckle as you push a box out of the way. It’s a small studio apartment with everything cramped into one space except the bathroom. You have a double bed pushed up against the wall in the corner, a small sofa with your wardrobe next to it, a TV, a tiny coffee table, a bookshelf and a dresser, a little dining table near the kitchen with three chairs and a pantry right next to the fridge that stands where the hardwood floor changes into checkered tiles. It really is a tiny space that holds a lot of stuff, but all the gadgets and clutter makes it cozy, lived-in, a place that’s so much like you that he feels like he is peeking inside your head as he walks farther inside.
“I brought dinner,” he shyly holds the bag up as you lock the door.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” you smile at him gratefully, because you didn’t really have time to buy anything on your way home since you had to make a quick trip to the post office after your shift, leaving you no spare time before his arrival.
“It’s the least I can do for all the help,” he smiles as you take the bag from him and bring it to the designated living room area of the place. Bucky joins you on the sofa and he thanks all higher powers your place is so small that you only have a loveseat, giving him the chance to sit close to you. Your thigh brushes against his as you hand him a box and make yourself comfortable as well, starting your feast while he asks you about your day, listening to your every word intently.
When the food is gone and you’ve grabbed two beers for the two of you, he pulls out the phone that’s the reason behind his visit. He bought a simple one, not at all one of the latest versions and it’s going to be the perfect model for him to learn the ropes on.
You help him put his SIM card into the new phone and then you set his account up before finally gaining access to the phone. You start with the basic features, showing him how to make a call or send a text before moving onto the different apps and possibilities while he listens to you as if you were talking about rocket science, but in a way, it feels like that for him.
“And here you can switch to the front camera,” you explain as you push the button and suddenly, the two of you come into picture on the screen. “Perfect for taking selfies,” you add with a chuckle.
“Oh, selfies. I’m not too good with those,” he huffs shaking his head.
“Because you probably haven’t found your angle!” you smirk. “Everyone has a good angle.”
“You think so?” you knits his eyebrows together.
“Mhm, look!”
Opening the contacts you go to yours, choosing the option to add a picture that will show up on the screen when you call him, and open the camera to take one instead of choosing from the empty gallery. Holding up the phone you position it so your good angle is in the picture before snapping the photo and saving it as your caller ID.
“See?” you smile at him before handing the device back to him. He just nods, even though he can only think about how all your angles are perfect to him and that now he has a picture of you in his phone. “Let’s take one together!” you beam and moving closer to him you take the phone once again, holding it up in front of you, trying to fit both of you into the frame.
Bucky tries his best to focus on the picture, but he can’t ignore how close you are to him, he can smell your shampoo and your cheek is almost pressed against his as you smile into the camera. The corners of his mouth curl up as his eyes fix at your reflection on the screen before you snap the photo. Opening up the camera roll you take a better look at it and it’s probably your favorite photo that has ever been taken of you. Mostly because he is in it as well, smiling so sweetly.
“It’s a good one,” you say and as you turn your head to the side you realize how close you really are to him.
“Yeah?” he breathes out, definitely aware of just the few inches separating the two of you.
“I-if you had an Instagram I would tell you to post it…” you stutter as your eyes flicker down to his lips, the urge to lean in and kiss him growing with each passing second.
Feeling a little dizzy, one of your hands fall to his lower arm, the one that’s made out of metal and your gaze drops to where you are touching him, a panic filled look flashing through his eyes.
He thinks that this is where the moment is ruined, where you realize the monster he really is and decide you don’t want anything to do with him. He almost starts to apologize for God knows what reason when you reach out and your fingers start to work on the straps of his gloves. It takes a few moments for him to realize what you are doing, and he tries to pull his hand back, but you grab it stopping him from doing it.
“It’s alright,” you smile at him softly, your eyes meeting his as you finish what you started and pull the glove off his hand revealing the metal underneath the leather. Then you move onto his other hand and do the same, dropping the pair of gloves to the floor as you take both his hands in yours, thumbs running across his knuckles, feeling the difference between his own hand and the artificial one.
You see his jaw flexing at the touch and reaching up you cup his cheek in your palm, making him to look you in the eyes. The strong and confident man you see sometimes is gone now, fear and hesitation taking over his expression as your other hand keeps holding his vibranium one.
“I’m sorry,” it falls from his lips as he closes his eyes for a second.
“For what exactly?” you ask with a soft chuckle. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to hide yourself around me.”
“You don’t find it… scary?”
“Not at all,” you assure him. “You can’t be held accountable for what happened to you. Anyone who thinks differently is just an ignorant asshole,” you add grinning and it finally breaks his fearful expression, planting a smile on his handsome face.
Keeping your hand on his cheek you lean closer, your nose touching his but you stop before your lips could meet, giving him the chance to pull back. But he never does. Instead, he closes the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips against yours, finally making the fantasy you both have been daydreaming about reality. He starts off slowly, savoring each other gently, getting accustomed to the feeling, but it doesn’t take long before the kiss grows hungrier and your tongues meet in the middle.
Your hands rest at the base of his neck while his find your waist, pulling you closer until you swing a leg over him, sitting on his lap as you smile against his lips. His kisses feel delicate and soft yet very passionate at the same time, you love the dynamic you create, tugging and biting each other playfully, it feels like kissing him is the sole purpose of your life.
When it gets hard for you to breathe you pull back, eyes opening and finding his flushed face as he stares back at you with bright, joyous eyes, his lips slightly swollen, already making you want to go back to where you were just a moment ago.
“Who knew selfies could be so much fun,” he jokes making you laugh, his heart fluttering in his chest at the sound that’s so dear to him.
“I’m glad you liked my crash course on smart phones,” you grin down at him, your fingers tracing the sharp line of his jaw. “Do you have any more questions?”
Smirking his hand, his flesh one, moves up your back as he presses you closer, your lips almost touching his.
“Oh, I’ve got plenty,” he chuckles before kissing you again eagerly.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
#bucky#bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes one shot#bucky oneshot#bucky one shot#bucky fluff#bucky blurb#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws
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Hi! I have another question again >.<
About the lady owner sex dugeon (lol) Why she didn't know about Jinx lives/work for silco? I mean... Does Jinx ever go out around Zaun? Recently Jinx did goes to Arcade for playing the boxing game thing.. I can't imagine that Jinx the one who loves chaos and destruction, many people of zaun doesn't know about her like Jericho? Eh I was wondering is Jericho can't talk? Because he just laugh (when Vi eat with Cait) or angry/grunts (like Enemy MV) he never said any word is that why he communicate by giving a napkin with a mark to Vi?
hah i love your questions! They are so creative and focus on really good intricacies in the show. its a lot of wonderful food for thought. Jericho is a bit more simple so i will start there :P I have searched everywhere trying to figure out what race he is but cant find it. The best i can get is that he is likely from Bilgewater given his pirate aesthetic. I personally perceive that Jericho does speak, but in a different language. It sounds very ogre-ish so maybe its his native fish people language? He clearly understands what is being said around him as well. However, i dont think slipping the message on a napkin was relevant to his lack of speaking english (or Piltovan i guess). There are several languages spoken in Zaun and one of them is called Buhru. Itss a coastal island and the imagery on it, if you look it up, has fish but not necessarily fish people. Its possible this grunty language is Buhru and Vi understands it. Maybe she is bilingual from her upbringing in Zaun similarly to how kids who grow up in mixed culture neighborhoods learn other languages.
I think th way Jericho’s character is delivered was supposed to environmentally set the tone for a criminal undercity feel as well as give us a past to present anchor and reintroduction into Zaun.
To me, jericho’s seems like that hidden in plain sight information broker. Often times in media when information brokers are portrayed there is never actually a direct question asked if they are in a public space or venue. Instead they will usually have some sort of coded action like knocking a certain way or using a different name as a call sign. In food shop fronts like bars etc it might be ordering a specific combo or saying you want a sandwich a special way or something. These coded messages allow requests to be made publicly but for the inquirer to not seem suspicious. Maybe ordering that specific meal at Jericho’s was the way to say ‘i’m here for info/help’ etc. Topsiders obviously couldnt stomach the idea of eating that dish and by the looks of it no one would likely think it actually looks appetizing. So it would be a perfect option for that kind of secretive communication. Im guessing Jericho recognized Vi as she hasnt changed too much from when she was younger. He likely was signaling to her what could be a safe-house, rather than where Powder was since there was no way for Vi to state what she wanted discreetly. Jericho would have been aware of Vi’s connection to Vander and would likely assume that Vi needs to know what places/people are safe from Silcos influence. Heck, maybe its even an old system that Vander used to have arranged with Jericho - when people were in need send ‘em to The Last Drop or the brothel or other places in their network of allies via this method. that would be neat if it had that history to it, just a thought with no grounding from me though. So here we see the napkin that he gives her:
And here we see the first second of the scene in which they enter the brothel.
Another possibility is the way to gain access to the brothel is to have a napkin from Jericho’s with its symbol on it. Maybe this is to protect from Enforcer raids? Though Mel’s mothers behavior makes me think that laws against prostitution in Piltover and Zaun dont exist since she openly had one on her ship and accompanying her around Piltover. Now, onto the Yordle running the brothel: She was obviously an ally of Vanders and with the symbol from Jericho, Vi goes straight there after a short sad look at The Last Drops current neon makeover. Vi is very open about her intentions and what information she seeks. If my assumption of Jericho and the symbol on the napkin being a safe house indicator of some kind is true then this could explain why Vi was so open about her intent. The yordle implies, with the shake of a head, that she doesnt know what happened to Powder but... im fairly certain she just was uncomfortable and didnt want to provide the answer. She has a very sombre expression talking to Vi through the full scene, easily chatting/reminiscing and having a response to everything. But when asked about Powder her eyes look around the room nervously and she takes a moment before responding. I think the yordle was familiar with how close the girls were and just couldnt face giving Vi the bad news. So she offers up info on Sevika instead, maybe out of guilt. The Yordle knew that Vi would find out eventually.. everyone in Zaun who knew who Powder was before would easily realize she is Jinx now. Okay so onto the third question: does Jinx ever go around Zaun? I think so. We do see her primarily in either The Last Drop, Silco’s office, her workshop, and the arcade but i think that is just for storytelling. Throughout the series Jinx’s graffiti can be seen in various spots. One i can recall vividly is when Vi, Cait, and Ekko are leaving the firelights base and we see Jinx’s trademark pink on some of the pipes they are passing
Now this is not one of Jinxs symbol so there is room to be skeptical and assume this is not her graffiti but generally speaking in animation/art/movies etc its a rule of thumb to use colors to identify characters. So while in the real world we can safely assume that anyone could have a pink spray paint, it has been specifically associated with Jinx and generally when its seen this would be reflective of her presence.
Or, who knows, maybe this was something she scrawled a long time ago. or maybe its just random. I dont have screenshots of it but there was also a browser game called “Riot X Arcane” that was up for a short time with rewards/skins/accessories for all of Riots various games like Valorant, Wild Rift, League, etc. In this browser game we explore a different story, sorta like an AU of Arcane, where Jinx caused a rift between worlds and you, as the player from your computer, got pulled in through one of these rifts and are helping Heimerdinger, Jayce, and Viktor try to remedy the issue. They have characters from their other games all there too and even a second Heimerdinger and the plot loosely ties to Jinx did some shit with magic. Through your investigation you encounter Silco and Jinx at the end and get some really precious father/daughter exchanges between them in which Silco tells Jinx to get rid of the magic in her body because he is more concerned about how its risking her life due to being unstable and just *sigh* so cute >.< Okay, enough derailing form the point: in this game, Jinx’s graffiti can be seen all over Zaun on the backs of pipes and on crates and other misc items. Given that its supposed to represent Arcane, even if it is not canon, im assuming we can have confidence that the graffiti is reflective of canon circumstances and use this to further confirm that Jinx gets to go wherever she wants. Here is a video i found on youtube of someone doing a play through of it in case you want to see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNPJrg4wzgk
I'm so tempted to watch through all of arcane 4-9 again now to look for more solid proof buuut i didnt want to wait any longer to answer you.. so i might eventually reblog this if i am not lazy with added stuffs.. idk.. if i can find it.. we will see. lol no promises.
Anyhow, although we dont see Jinx elect to go very many places, i feel like its well outlined that she can go wherever she wants. She goes to the platform for the smoke signal to Vi, she goes to the bridge, she goes to the fountain to spy on Silco, she obviously was able to go to the crumbled building in Ep 9 to set up the banquet table. If Silco were to try and restrict her movements, i think the Arcade would have been a huuuge no-go because it would have been a place she could feel past comforts and anyone wanting to isolate you wont let you have that connection. Silco also expresses his need to ‘find’ Jinx after her Shimmer session meaning that she isnt being followed, tracked, monitored, or restricted. And prior to that, when she is stabbing his eye, he asks her “where have you been?” which further confirms he doesnt know where all she gets up to. I am guessing that when he first adopted her Silco likely would have wanted to keep her close to feel out her allegiance but after a little while and seeing her attachment to him he probably didnt care. In fact, i would even go so far as to say that its very likely Jinx chose to stay close and not wander about too much because of her own attachment/abandonment issues. This could be why he asks “where have you been” because he isnt used to her disappearing. She is probably usually hanging pretty close to him by choice more often than not. There are likely places Jinx doesnt go or only visits rarely because of memories flooding her mind. Maybe she doesnt go to Jericho’s anymore for example? Maybe she is able to emotionally detach from the Last Drop a bit because of the way Silco remodeled it? not sure. but i dont think there are any signs of restricted movement what-so-ever. *deep breath* okay! that was a long one.. man i get out of hand with these, sorry... lol but do please feel free to comment or reblog with any other thoughts/insights/disagreements whatever you have. I love the discussion. And as always, you are more than welcome to send me any asks you like!
#Jinx#Silco#Vi#Jericho#Arcane#Yordle#Runeterra has such deep rich and complicated lore#I am eternally grateful for the league of legends wiki#and for league of legends universe#These two compilations of facts have become so helpful to me
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covered in you ∣ J.JK
while your boyfriend having a casual play date with his mates, you decided to go horny.
pairing; jeon jungkook x reader
genre; smut, porn without plot(bc why not)
rating; m
warnings; teasing, slapping(face;), curse words, biting, light dom/sub tones, dom!jk, sub!reader, handjob, oral(m), cum eating, choking(on dick), drooling, sloppy blowjob, face fucking(:), exhibitionism?, and sorry unedited:(,,
word count; 3k+
a/n; well, yeah.. im little bit turned on by jungkook and basically throwing my eagerness on here. i have no idea about games but here 7 pages long filth for you, lol. i need to make a whole masterlist for sudden!jk thirst bc i always end up writing sloppy smut out of nowhere lol. so hope y’all gonna love this, and feedbacks always, always appreciated. love y’all ♡
It was silent, beside the rhythmed ticks of the clock, hanging lightly on the wall. An annoying reminder for you how many minutes had passed alone on the couch, staring at the screen that vibrates low voices, loud as humming, but enough to tingle behind your head. Warm brown couch almost captured your body as you were sitting on the same spot for more than two hours now. Figures of the body almost printed flawlessly on the wide cushion. Finger tapping at your chin simultaneously with every beat of the clock. You sit there, completely still, annoyed, and highly bored. Weather is now gleaming dark, lightened by the skinny street light. It was different from the moment you placed yourself on the couch. With that, a groan left your throat, how much time had passed got your dander up as you eyed the black door. Tongue licking the base of your lip, curling it between your teeth to nib. Soft sigh left your nostrils when you decided to wait no more. Now, it was time to put up a show.
Of course it wasn’t just because you were annoyed, bored or equally got horny out of nowhere. Well, there is always a little chance of it but there is no need to discuss it.
‘‘No, hyung NO!’’ respectfully discombobulated grunt find you when the hand grabbed the knob of the door. Voice flushing a biten smile at your face, grunt continued, equal a wail. ‘‘Not there of course. ‘M at top. Yeah, yeah, c’mere. I’m waitin’ ’’ cute, desperate whines hurries you further to crush the door right away but with a shaky breath, you let the brisk rousing slip away and turn the knob as humanly as you can. Furious tappings, thin sounds rising, mixing with the boy’s grunts as breaking the silence.
You taken aback.
For a full three minutes you stayed still only to watch, observe the familiar movements of the boy, back muscles excrescently visible under the black tee. And yeah, you stared at them in awe. Freakingly heart stopping act of him that he does unintentionally. Though, it did not stop you from having dark, soaked panties. Shaking the head right to the left to gather the senses back nearly helped you as you closed the door. Not forcing yourself to be quiet as under the headphones you knew he won’t hear a thing, still without knowing why, you tiptoed to get him. Biting the beaming smile, you knelt beside his ridiculously priced game chair. Too oblivious to the action going on right beside him, the dark haired boy grunts once again. Adding another drip to your stomach to gather your arousal as he kicked the table lightly, but it was enough for you. Aggressive enough to hitch your breath.
‘‘I swear to-GOD TAEHYUNG STOP TROLLING THE GAME FOR FUCK SAKE!’’
A sharp greed stirring to your spin when the thick vein throbbed visibly on his neck, and stayed there for the good usage of your cravings. Guess seeing your boyfriend furious over a game is a turn on now. You refuse to be the only one who feels that. There must be more freaks like you. Because it was hot. Staying still as you knelt beside him, just a little bit behind of his chair, it was getting hard not to act obviously. As every passing minute increased the charming desperation, you tried to pressure it back with a brush of your legs. Not much, but it worked enough until the inhuman growl decided to leave his throat. Fuck, what was that again. It sounded beautiful, impelling. As you fucking whimpered loud enough for your ears. Nipples brushing the fabric, as they freed from the tight grip of your bra after the first moment you had that nailing urge. They almost irked back, burning hot behind your tee. And the highly focused boy startled with the touch of your fingers touching timidly at his arm.
‘‘Huh,’’ soft breath mixing under the air, he opened his mouth once, closed, and opened once again but couldn’t utter a voice as focus gathered on the monitor. As angry voice reached you by the headphones, you understood why he couldn’t focus on you. ‘I said boss you fucker-JK what the hell are you doing?’ If you kneeling beside him, darting your eyes on him isn’t enough for him to focus on you, then you would gladly do more. Jimin could suck his own dick as he just ruined the moment you were about to play. Thrill spilling inside, you licked your lips. It sounded like a challenge.
And you accepted.
You giggled at yourself after passing over by his legs to curl into the space left behind his legs. Rather than expected, below the desk wasn’t that suffocating as you thought. Lighted fairly, air semi-fresh, you could hang in here. Well, hornyness weighed more than a good space to stay. It caused no harm, too.
When you looked up after the restless shift of your boyfriend, you witnessed the firm head shake. Even though you love to play the oblivious, you knew what it meant. It was ‘no’, a severe one.
Yet, it was a little too late for that.
You already take this as a challenge and you had no intention to stop now. And by tearing his eyes away from you to land it on the monitor did not help you. Only increased the silly jealousy as you leaned a bit to lift his tee. Tail of the black fabric welcomed the fingers who’s about to pat the tanned skin, light as much, soft as much as they could. Right after fingertips meeting with his muscled stomach, they tighten, scoff blurting out of him as a reflex. Too bad that he can’t do anything about making you stop, as that would mean they could and probably would lose the game and they all will blame him. And Jungkook, never, ever lost a game. Or caused a lost. Also too bad for him as you knew him too deep.
‘JK come to the mid.’ as the request didn’t get the expected return, the same voice echoed once again. Angry this time. ‘Kook you on?’
It took a minute for him to heal himself from the teasing touch you gifted. Darkness lightened by the blue, pink, and shade of the soft yellow, falls onto his face. His façade edged even more with the shades contouring his features, he looked god ish. Knot appeared between his brows after feeling the nails digging, tracing a track down until they reached to his crotch. Dick stayed half hard. Giggling you eyed him, caring his stomach until his muscles eased back. Contrary to the curses you heard through his headphone, you leaned till the tip of your nose brushed his velvety skin on the stomach. Choked breath coming out of him as you started to put soft, caring kisses all the way above the head of his sport short. From left to right, you kissed, wetted with each lick you gave as he tightened his muscles on the thighs.
‘‘F-fuck,’’ he hushed out, too afraid to be heared by his friends because how the hell he could explain this. Exactly, he couldn’t. Murmuring satisfiedly, tongue trailed all the way up, stopped licking when you reached below the belly-button of him. Rather choose to circle your tongue around it, carefully slow. As no one needed to rush anything.
‘You yelled at me but who is trolling NOW JUNGKOOK!’
You had to cover your mouth to prevent your laugh from going out. It was semi funny and semi exciting as the idea of your friends understanding what you were doing and how much you were affecting him. It was harmless to fantasies, but you had no idea how you would feel if it turned real. Still, it was rousing.
‘‘FUCK. O-okay, okay.’’ the captured boy hissed out, fighting with the urge to kick you aside. Both because he didn’t know how you would react, and also, it was feeling good. Your fingers, tongue, lips felt amazing. Warm against his skin. So he didn't intend to lose it so quickly. ‘‘ ‘M just a bit confused. M okay, let’s get it.’’
Yeah, let’s get it.
Fingers digging in theirs and yours one of the favorite spots of him after his doe looking eyes, and easily scrunched nose. His thighs. Thick, built, smooth thighs that you adored so damn much. Hiking up the cloth up, you resist the need of biting them down. Slowed circles were much better at first, and he was already tensed as one of his knees smacked high only to meet with the hardwood. It’s play time so you could take as much as time you want. Plus, he was kinda tied down by the chair so you could use this for the good usage.
‘‘Ah. Nuh, no, not him hyung. FUCK!’’ Jungkook’s guttural cry left his lungs as the soft circles left their place to wet kisses, and then a harsh bite right on his inner thigh. Hard enough to leave a mark, but light, too, as the mark almost disappeared right away. Sloppy, wet licks tried to heal the bruise immediately, as you worked on him. His moans hit the very needy spot, made you clench around nothing to drip even more. Poor core pulsed, pulsed, pulsed until you couldn’t take more and spilled out a weak mewl. It reflected all the desperation you had, and the gamer couldn’t control his mouth before spitting a brutal slut right at your direction. Nails digging deeper on his thighs, you like the way how that word rolled out from his plushed lips. Attacking right into your spine. Yes, yes, yes, yes, was all you could think. You were a slut, indeed. But, of course, his teammates had no idea about what was going on here, as an offended shriek filled the room right after what Jungkook said.
‘DID YOU JUST CALLED ME A SLUT?’ you could recognize Jimin’s extra thickened voice, and you giggled while putting now less soft kisses all over his thigh. ‘JUNGKOOK SPEAK. NOW’ and you bite his flesh once again, right when he was about to answer the man on the line.
‘‘N-Ahhhh! No, no.’’ his fingers curled around your hair immediately, out of conscious. He locked his gaze on you after tilting your head a little back. Expression hardened, his jaw twitched. ‘‘I was talking with the slut that almost killed me.’’ you sobbed as the wave of hunger hit you on the right spot, after his hand left you with a semi slap on your cheek. It wasn’t enough, it didn’t even blushed the skin but you choked anyway. More, more, more of that slap is all you need at the moment. You knew that for sure.
And you will earn those by the work of your mouth, tongue, and palm. As much as help you can get to reach the euphoria you want at the heat of the moment.
To soothe the now reddened flesh inside of his thigh, you licked once, twice and once again. Every touch of the warm, wet muscle earned another squirm by the boy who tried very hard to focus on the game. Though, it was obvious that he was failing because voices rising from the headphones gave the clue of how he sucked at keeping a clear game. No lie, you like the effect you had on him. Has him hissing with a jerk of his knee, brought claps to the back of your head. Like you just win a prize.
It seemed a bit like that.
‘‘No.’’ Jungkook pleaded, eyes not on you but the shake of his head was, indeed, for you. As your fingertips hooked under the waistband of his short, cold tips of your fingers startled him as he was burning, flesh blooming hot. To his dismay, you felt a little rebellious today. Ready to take the risk of getting the kick, as you shoved his short down, forcefully. His clothed parts unfolded slowly. However, the kick never landed, the only reaction was him holding his ass a bit high to help you on making him naked. Muscles straining, his shaft meets with air. Hanging above his legs, all the stimulation had him angry red. Precum glistening on the tip, ready to spill all over his thighs, on the chair.
You gulped. ‘‘Fuck,’’ now it was your turn to curse, as his dick never failed to surprise you. While waiting hard, thick, and crimson. Mouth watering view went straight to your core to poke the arousal now begin to drip. Wetting your lips to match them with your mouth and his tip, meager grab of your palm meets with his dick. It has Jungkook cursing more, an aggressive fist dropped on the wooden desk. He thrusts once out of habit, but immediately stays still. The boy’s face blooming scarlet, it was enough for you to gather your courage to dive in. As his body was craving you without any doubt.
‘‘Mid-ahhh!’’
Full fist squeezed around the base of his shaft has the gamer crying out loud. It made your breath hitch. Jungkook speechless. Loaded dire placed on your stomach, yet it wasn’t unpleasant. Rather, hair stands on the edge, chest writhe in need. It was too pleasant. Too dreamy. A gasping view.
But you couldn’t hold back, and leaned in. Wet tongue touches the base of his head, you blow air after moistening the place good. It could have been twitched without your tight firm, rather, he moaned. Then freezed. Momentarily joy died in his stomach as he remembered his friends were on the other side of the line. Eyes shut tight, he waited for them to yell or accuse him for something unmistakably obvious. You giggled at his fear, as he opened one eye below the furrowed brows. Carefully as afraid to make a sudden move. Unlike his terror, nothing happens. The other two boys continue to play without saying anything, but Jungkook finds it suspicious. Even though he was relieved.
Not for so long though, as now the tongue starts to circle around the head of his cock. Small whimpers held back by him but you were bolder to spill them. Feeling hot, heavy between your lips, you like to suck him so much. Maybe too much as Jungkook pushed his hips high. So you continued, now almost half of him in your mouth. It was hard for you to take him at once, as the boy had the biggest one you ever laid on eye. Thick, also. Palm isn’t enough to cover him fully, when you dared. So you take your time while his nostrils breathe heavily. Precum becomes one with the salvia around his cock, you whined happily at the taste. It was always pleasant. Always tasty.
Nails digging in the naked skin, you bobbed your head down. Throat stretching well around his stabbing tip. But you had no mercy on yourself or shame while diving deeper. Tip of your nose almost touches his pubes, a strangled hum broke out by the throat. And it has his dick twitch deep down in your throat. Which another broken moan rises from you as he was equally horny as much as you. Fingers ached to find your pulsing clit, but you stopped yourself before even daring as this was about him. And only him. Rather than touching your pussy, you grabbed his waist. Shape of his body always turned you on, same as now. You mewled while moving after adjusting your breath.
Jungkook bites down his lips, too afraid to make another voice, challenge his change. Instead, he grabbed tight his mouse, almost crashing it. Ball of longing crawling onto his chest, stomach, all over his body while you keep the work of your mouth, tongue so good. It was stirring, heart stopping for both of you. Every swirl of your tongue, every hollow move of your cheeks drive him closer. Little by little, he felt the nudging delight getting closer and closer. And if you could, you would come undone, too, as the whole thing was too affecting.
‘‘Stay.’’ hand grabbing the back of your head, you freezed cock so deep in your throat. As the command was too sudden, a slap found your stretched cheek after you swallowed out of habit.
‘‘Hnngg,’’ you protest but do not dare to move, knowing it would be fatal. For you and the poor throat. Tongue waiting below his dick, feeling the pulse of his thick vein, you stayed there. Even though you practised many times breathing from your nose while mouth full, after long minutes, it was getting slightly disturbing. Not uncomfortable but unachievable for you. Butterflies burning one by one from the fire rising by your chest, you wait one, two, three minutes more until Jungkook shifts his hips. Only to choke you even more with his cock, rough beg of a moan stealing by your lungs, you wrenched under his hold.
Hands finding the support by his waist, you let him move his dick in your throat. Not that you had much of a choice. Muffled noises leaving your chest, his thrust was hard enough to try your gag reflex.
Eyes getting teary, you were drooling even more every time your nose hit his stomach. Wet sounds gurgled with every pressure of his cock, tears now mixed by tears on your chin. Creating a pool on his thighs and the dark leather. But you never tried to go back, stayed there like a good girl he wanted, let him use you face for a quick fuck. It was satisfying for both of you.
His abs clenched, unclench as a warning. He was about to cum, and it had you whine even louder. You wanted to taste him, gulp down everything he gifts you, and lick him clean. Strong, hot hunger raised with every push as you were going to eat his cum like your last meal. Because it tasted like that. Delicious, salty, and warm all around your tongue, teeth. You clenched around nothing once again and held your position as Jungkook started to cum with a heavy groan.
‘‘Fuck, fuck, FUCK!’’ no one mattered, as he was bursting white deep down on your hot, drooling throat. Thrill clouded his mind as he moaned loud, hard, and obvious while spurting, adding a new color to your throat.
Jungkook continued to cum, dripping thick and hot. And you swallowed every one of them, eagerly, messily. Slurping, licking him clean when he dropped by his high. When every inch of his dick gleamed glossy, and cleared from his cum, you were satisfied when taken you head back after his big grip let you. You smiled ear to ear as the tired bliss beamed his face. It never stopped being fluttering when he looked so proud of you. Heavy breaths of yours cut harshly when headphones almost vibrate with the intense scream.
‘IF YOU DONE FUCKING GOD KNOWS WHERE OF Y/N, CAN YOU FUCKING GO BACK TO THE GAME, YOU FUCKING FUCK!’
Jimin’s voice had you two freeze, but after Teahyung started to laugh loud, almost wheezing, Jungkook and you joined him. But Jimin didn’t. As they were losing the game. And he was competitive as much as Jungkook. But right now, your boyfriend had something distracting. So he chuckled before landing an eye on you and smirked.
‘‘Sorry, but I need to reward my girl.’’ he cocked a brow, hand moving to close the game. ‘‘As you all heard, she did a pretty good job. Right, baby?’’
Between Taehyung’s laughs and Jimin’s curses, your heart fluttered at the praise. It was all you needed, all you wanted from him. You watched him carefully while he put his headphones on the desk, corner of the lip curling high. A finger pointed at you, you wait for his word.
‘‘Now, be a good girl, and turn your ass over here.’’ you cooed at his demand, wiggled your ass and presented him. Panties already soaked, you were needy as always. And he was feeding you good with his filthy words. ‘‘I’m gonna fuck you so good, so hard that you will afraid even to knock my door again when I’m playing.’’
With a harsh smack landing on your cheek, you were sure of that. ‘‘Yes, please.’’
you can also find me on twitter (no minor pls:)
#heartsforbts#bangtanhq#bangtanarmynet#btsgoldnet#btswriterscollective#btswritingcafe#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#dom jk#dylanxmin
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📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life
oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.
also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.
This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk.
ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer.
also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth.
and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.
oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.
But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.
Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?
but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview.
Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.
he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.
generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop.
so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.
It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.
Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it
But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)
#tw: abuse#tw: neglect#this is a very fanon idea btw#pls dont take anything too srsly#bakugu katsuki#ALSO THANK YOU ANON :))#bakugou mitsuki#bakugu masaru#i coulda probably yeeted the 'katsuki gets kidnapped a lot' hc in there#honestly everybody should just check sifs stuff#her brain is too big#bakugou katsuki headcanons#bnha headcanons#im legitimately not sure if this even makes any sense#im sleepy so
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bea, you've been around with nct for so long and have constantly been creating high-quality content for us for free, and I really admire your passion & endless creativity 💚 i was wondering how you managed to juggle between your rl endeavours & your hobbies?
i have a tendency to go all out for something that i really like, and ive been finding myself prioritising them over my rl stuff, and i know it's not them but my poor time management skill to blame. i fear that i might miss out a lot of them if im not in ncity even for just a day. i know that at the current stage of my life, i have to focus on rl more, and im really struggling between the two 😔😔
quick answer: i don't really have real life endeavors and hobbies 😂
no, but really like I love writing, I've always loved writing since I was really young. Reading and writing go hand in hand with me, so any time I'm reading I wish I was writing and I'm getting ideas for like plotlines or just little snippet scenes that I would like to write that are inspired by whatever book I'm reading. I've been writing fanfiction since I was probably like twelve or something, like I started with Harry Potter and Twilight then that became One Direction, and when I got into kpop I started writing a tiny bit of BTS, but mostly I've only ever written for NCT when it comes to kpop
Usually I try to find time to also read and watch movies or TV instead of just writing and digging myself down the kpop rabbit hole, try to hang out with my best friend (but I'm very much a person who likes to be home, so that's rough), but with doing these member days I haven't really been doing those other things much, so right now I'm not doing a good balance of kpop and other interests
I think it helped a lot that I didn't get into kpop until I was halfway through college, and I didn't even start listening to NCT until I graduated from college, so I don't have like the real life responsibility of schoolwork, and my job isn't the kind that you need to bring home from work, so like as soon as I'm done with work for the day I can bury myself in kpop if I really want to when we're talking about time management. With NCT especially, it does feel like if you're not constantly online it's so easily to fall behind on content, like I don't know how many times I get home from work and they've posted on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, they've done music show performances and new interviews are posted, and there was an online concert earlier in the day too, and then there's like just a mountain of things it feels like I've missed out on, but normally I just come on here or quickly scroll through twitter and get the gist of what I've missed out on.
Focusing on real life is definitely more important, that's for sure. Like it's not the end of the world if you're away from ncity for a day or two or a week or even months, as long as you focus on you and what makes you happy and what's good for you. There are always update accounts that will let you know if you've missed anything big, and if you're away for a little while, I'm sure there are plenty of accounts who you can ask that can help you figure out what you've missed!
I'm just here because I've been stuck on tumblr since literally 2012 when I discovered the massive amount of One Direction fanfiction on here, and I know that I wasted so much of my high school and college time on tumblr, thinking about what to write or wanting to keep up to date instead of going out and having fun with my friends, and I know that I've seriously missed out on opportunities I should have taken, so that's probably my best reason behind telling you that if you're struggling to find a balance between real life and your kpop interests, definitely don't let this interfere with doing real life things, making real life friends, going and having fun in real life.
#asks#like for real#it's both a good and a bad thing that tumblr and me being so deeply ingrained in fandom and fanfiction has#made me who i am today like there's definitely good in that#but the bad is that i think it's made me a person who's glued to my laptop and is best at creating parasocial relationships#rather than real life relationships (rip)#so go out there into your real life and do real life things#that's my bit of advice for the day#but damn.... answering this and realizing i've been writing on tumblr for 10 years???#what??? and I know that some of the stuff I write nowadays I kinda cringe at#but when I look at my early day stuff from when I first started on tumblr I'm like.... oh.....#i didn't write smut back then (as I was a minor) but god i wrote drama and fluff? I guess with like hints toward sexy stuff#but yeah..... cringe#and i did in fact write one direction ship fics as well as some 1dmember x OC fics#and even a couple reader inserts but mostly i didn't write reader insert stuff to the degree i do now until i started this blog#like i don't know if I even know how to write from a POV that's not second person anymore lol
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