#im working on them now but i don't think i can finish them entirely tonight

[petriwriting]

Based on THIS Request.

Thank you for @skywalkerzs for requesting. I had fun with it! thinking of doing a continuation of the next episode as well.

"JJ where have you been?" Kie asks him.

"We've been so worried." you reply. He walks up, after his outing going to see who he thought was his father, Luke. "Long story. Where are the others" he asks. "Almost back by now, why what happened?" You ask him, kie took off her gardening gloves and folds her arms, ready for whatever exaggerated story JJ is about to tell. You had stayed with kie to tend to the garden, worrying about JJ every minute, wishing to be by his side but respecting his need for alone time. whatever it was.

"Nothing." JJ says, he's defeated. "Please don't lie." you plead. "it's just my dad." he says. "oh shit," kie mutters. "He's back?" you ask. "yup. He's been holding up at barracuda mike's, I guess," he explains. "he's not trying to come back here is he?" kie asks. "Did he say anything about the place being his?" you add. "no it wasn't about that." JJ says flatly running his fingers through his hair. "Cause' the town council thing is tonight." she adds, shes worried for him just as you are.

"It's fine." he insists. "Kie can you give us a minute?" he asks, the wind is gently breezing through his hair now, it's a mess. "Yeah totally." She says, grabbing some of her gardening tools to put away, then disappearing. Kie was smart enough to know something was up, but she wanted to respect the privacy of her two best friends.

"Luke," JJ begins, he is anxious and you can tell. "My dad," he corrects himself. "He told... He told me he wasn't my real dad." he says. "was he serious?" you ask, luke was an abusive alcoholic, so for you it was hard to trust anything he ever said. "It wasn't a joke... He was being, weird- I don't know. But I get this." JJ shifts his feet and rummages his pockets to pull out a note. "it's from Wes Genrette, It says talk to your father." he explains, you run your thumb over the note. "look at this. It says 'talk to your father,' and then luke tells me that Wes Genrette... He's my grandfather. Which makes Groff, ...My father." he finished slowly.

"So Chandler Groff is your dad?" you question. "yeah." He nods. it is some heavy news. "It doesn't make any sense," JJ paces, gesturing. "But then he says, like, Larissa. you remember the painting? The one... Larissa Genrette." he steps closer to you. "She drowned with her baby? that's me. I'm that baby." he says. you sigh gently. "He's trying to work some inheritance scam. That's it, trying to make a quick buck by using me." JJ raises his voice slightly. "He's done it his entire life!"

"I'm so sorry, Jay." you utter softly, you wanted to kiss him or hug him. your heart is breaking for him. but as if on cue, the twinkie pulls up. "finally. the others are here." you say. "hey," JJ gets a bit serious. "Can we not tell them for now?" he asks. "yeah, yeah of course." you agree.

"I don't want them thinking, like, im a genrette. even if it's probably bullshit." he says. you nod in an understanding way. "of course JJ."

. . . .

The town council meeting is packed full of familiar faces. People who have lived on that island for decades through many generations, and some newer faces. It's a full house. There is subtle chatter, as the board memebers discuss the zoning ordinaces and bring up as a topic of discussion the Maybank property. You are sitting next to JJ, your hand is on his thigh. his other leg is bouncing. He's anxiously awaiting the discussion, but it seems like to kooks already have determined what will come of the property. There is some chatter amongst the pogues. The board then invites a representative from the property to come forward. "anyone feeling brave?" kie asks. JJ tries to stand up but you and John B both stop him. "whoa now," he says.

John B is then elected. He looks at Sarah for an approving nod and reassurance. He wanders up, states his name for the record and begins his defense.

"I'm not a lawyer but this doesn't make any sense..." he begins. You tense up in your seat. someone in the crowds cheers for John B. as he ends his long statement with "We could lose our home," You sigh, saddened at that reality. John B beautifully defends your home, and there is arguing and chatter amongst the Pogues and Kooks of the island. It is such an insane moment. They are trying to invalidate the sale. there's no way. That was yours fair and square.

The original owner, Luke Maybank stepped forward and took off his hat. "I'm sorry J." He says. "This can't be legal!" someone shouts. you are in shock, upset, angry and riled up. You stand up in opposition and notice JJ is frozen, he's biting his lip. Kiara is now up there rallying everyone. Her parents are threatening the officers at the front of the stand.

JJ stands, and turns right out of the church. It takes you a moment before you realize what is happening, the broken glass and JJ fighting against cops. You are shocked and processing everything that has happened. "Go! Get out!" You scream. But everyone is too late. The pogues are now outside, In a crown of aggressive townspeople, and JJ is locked into a cop car, once pope shouts for him to crawl out, he does. for a brief moment, he locks eyes with you while you hold his hands. "Go." you tell him. "Not without you." He says, grabbing your hand and running off as fast as he could manage with you trailing behind him.

. . . .

The two of you run through chateaus, mini-mansions, kook yards. eventually crossing paths with a group of kids playing baseball, in which JJ steals their bat. "Sorry!" you scream back at them, your hair flying behind you as you rush behind JJ, as he halts in front of a jewelry store. You catch up to him quickly.

"JJ what the hell are you doing!!" You shout. there's sounds of sirens in the distance. they can't be too far by now. "I've always wanted to do this," He says, before slamming his bat into the glass storefront, immediately sounding the security system. With the alarm blaring, he steps over the glass and grabs a shiny diamond ring. "I know we've only ever talked about it, but I've been wanting to do that for a long time." he says grabbing your hand and slipping it onto your ring finger. He then looks at the bat in his hands. "They wanted one island, Y/n." he pleads. you are lost in his eyes, he's mesmerizing you. "So give it to em'." he encourages, offering you the bat. You grab it, after slight contemplating. There isno time left. something in you had said, and you took the bat and smashed the rear window of the car and watched as the glass shattered all over the pavement. "Come and get me fellas!" JJ screams as he's riled up, you toss him the bat again and he busts the lamp post, before knocking things over, and lighting the trash can on fire, causing destruction to everything. You watched timidly, while you were riled up you didn't want him to end up in more trouble, but you also knew and loved him.

you knew and loved him to the point where you knew this was an outlet for him, he was letting out all his hurt And anger And even sadness. It was almost healing seeing him be so vulnerable in that moment. The way his jacket slung off his shoulder made your knees weak. He smashed the glass to a women's boutique, taking the hand of the manequinn. "Ladies," he says jokingly. He kissed the hand and smirked briskly. "Sorry, not in front of the wife," then looking at you with a wink. he continued on, and you heard the sirens blaring as the cops approached faster. a scene of destruction behind. "JJ we need to get out of here." the next thing you know you are once again running along with him, away from the cops.

[ohbo-ohno]

A small flower that sprays spores you happen to inhale in an attic

From the prompt list thing for Price x Reader? Please?

1k game here - no more please!

yknow im not really a big fan of sex pollen, but i gave it my best shot <3

2k of sex pollen smut with price! usual dubcon stuff because of sex pollen, but you and price are married so you're totally down <3 this is just pwp

"Hey, honey?" You call down the ladder, turning your find over in your hands.

"Yeah?" Price calls back, grunting as he drops a box on the floor below you.

You'd only felt bad for a few moments having him do all the heavy lifting, but you're perfectly content to dig through the contents of the attic. Neither of you had realized quite how full it was when you bought the house, but you'd much rather spend your day digging through old boxes than carrying them in from your moving van.

"Come take a look at this for me!"

You turn the little jar over again, shaking it just a bit and making the little flowers inside shift around the bottom. They're quite pretty - a bright pattern of red and pink, with a bit of black at the center - but you've never seen them before.

"What is it, love?" John asks from over your shoulder. You scooch closer to where he's propped on top of the ladder to the attic, forearms resting against the floor.

"Have you ever seen these before?" You pass the jar off to him, folding your legs beneath you and admiring John's shirtless form. He's a little red in the face, a lot sweaty, and you can't help but think about taking a short break from moving in...

"Hmm..." he turns the jar in his hand, just like you had. "I've never seen them before. Not too surprised, though." He shoots you a grin, offering the jar back. "Never did have much of a green thumb."

You take another peek, then pop the top of the jar open. The flowers are much more vibrant without the grime of the glass covering them, and you tip a few into your palm.

"Look," you say, offering your palm out to John. "They're so pretty!"

He takes a deep breath, leans a little further into the attic. "Not as pretty as you, love."

You roll your eyes, but can't resist the small smile. "That one was bad, even for you."

His grin is cheesy, his whole expression lovesick as he rests his chin on his folded arms. "I only speak the truth, love."

You can't help but giggle, tucking one of the flowers behind his ear. It's one of the only ones with a stem long enough to fit, and it looks quite silly next to his sweaty face and thick beard.

"There," you pat his cheek, shifting away to go back to your boxes. "Now you're as pretty as me."

"Now that will never be true."

———————————————————————

You don't see John again until that evening, when you're in the shower.

He'd spent the day downstairs, moving all your furniture about with his classic rock playing loud. You'd spent the day upstairs, finishing up your work in the attic and getting your bedroom and bathroom ready for the night while trying to drown his music out with the likes of ABBA and Madonna.

You'd brushed by each other a few times - playful dances, a bit of heavy petting over lunch - but had worked through what should have been dinner. As you wash the conditioner from your hair, you decide you should suggest pizza in bed for tonight.

You're humming to yourself when the shower door opens behind you, your husband already naked.

You smile when you get over the slight scare. "Hey, honey. Gonna join me?"

That's when you notice that something is a bit... off. He's naked but for the little flower behind his ear, which makes it easy to see how flushed his entire body is, and how obscenely hard his cock is between his legs.

"Oh," you can't help but blush a bit, turning to face him. "Feeling a little desperate, John?"

You mean it as a tease, but the sound that rips from your husband's throat is nearly broken. He's tearing into the shower before he bothers to answer, shoving you back into the slick tile and pressing every inch of skin he can against yours.

"John!" You gasp, giggling a bit when one of his rough hands jerks your thigh up and around his waist, the hot length of him resting between your folds. "Slow down, sweetheart, there's no rush."

He drops his forehead to yours, and you start to really see for the first time how needy he is. His face is almost tomato red under his whiskers, and his eyes are screwed up tight, almost like he's in pain.

"John?" You ask tentatively, one hand resting on his shoulder and the other cupping his warm cheek. "Are you alright, love?"

He shudders against you, only growing more tense. "Yeah, yeah love. Just... need to be inside of you, need it so fuckin' badly."

There's an edge to his voice you rarely hear, and there's a part of you that sparks in confusion, a bit of concern. But you arch your back for him, hike your leg a bit higher on his hip to truly spread yourself. "It's alright," you reassure, petting his cheek. "I'm always here for you, John, you know that."

He pushes into you too quickly, your body far from prepared to take something the size of him. But the slight pain melts into pleasure quickly as you melt in your husbands arms.

He's rough, rougher than he almost ever is, and you know your back will be bruised come morning. Every thrust in forces a loud gasp from you as you try desperately to breathe around his pace, your breaths syncing with his.

"Ugh," he moans against your neck, head dropping. "You feel... so good, so fucking good, love."

"You feel good too, John," you just barely manage to gasp out, nails digging deep into the muscle of his shoulders. "So- so big."

His moan is carnal, a rumbling sound that you can feel in your toes, and his thrusts somehow gets even rougher. The sound of his thighs slapping against yours is loud in the quiet bathroom, the sound of water dampened where it sprays against his back.

"God, you're like a vice," he hisses. "Tightest cunt, so good for me... perfect for me, just for me."

"Yes, yes," you chant, head resting against the tile. You rarely come from penetration alone, but hearing John's pleasure is enough for you to feel satisfied already. "Just for you, love, promise."

That's what finally pushes him over - he latches onto your neck, sucking a bruise there as he buries himself to the hilt, grinding himself as deep as he can go while moaning into your throat. You feel the spurts of his come inside of you, familiar after all these years together.

You're both panting in the aftermath, caught up in the pleasure.

You only realize he's still hard when he stands up fully, gripping your other thigh and helping you wrap it around his waist so he's fully carrying you.

"John?" You ask, shifting against him and causing you both to moan. "You're still...?"

He groans low in his chest as he carries you out of the room, confidently striding towards the bed. "I know."

"How... did you take something?"

He makes an offended sound, dropping you onto the bed and following you quickly enough after to keep himself inside of you. "Course not. Never needed any help in that department, not with you."

You're flattered, of course, but can't help but feel a little disconcerted by the fact that you can feel his come even though he's completely hard still.

"Alright," you say a moment later, tucking your legs as far up on his sides as they'll go.

He lifts his head just far enough for you to see him cock an eyebrow. "Alright?"

"Let's see how long you last, Captain."

You can feel his cock twitch inside of you, and he swallows your giggle with a kiss. He doesn't even bother to tease you back - to your slight disappointment - and instead begins to work his hips out of you, a slow drag out and a harsh push back in.

You both moan in sync, loud in the silence of your bedroom. You can't help but arch beneath him, trying to open yourself up more. As he starts to hit his stride, your knees tucked over his arms and pushed as high as he can without you pulling something, you feel the way the base of his cock rubs against your clit on every thrust in.

"Jo-John," you gasp, clinging desperately to his shoulders. "That feels so good, so good, love... oh, fuck, honey!"

"Yeah?" He grunts, face pulled tight above you. "Feel good? Gonna come for me, love? C'mon, attagirl, squeeze me tight... fuck, just like that, yes..."

He manages to get off much faster this time, but that doesn't seem to dull the intensity of his orgasm at all. He's still vocal, throwing his head back and letting all of his sounds out for you to hear. You manage to work your hips in just the right way to grind yourself against his flesh, and quickly find your own peak beneath him.

And still, it's not enough. You feel him working himself slowly against you minutes later, when you come down from your high.

You can't help but whine, your pussy oversensitive so soon after your orgasm. John doesn't pull out, though. He leans down enough to pepper kisses over your face, and begins to slowly fuck you again.

"J-John," you weekly protest, channel squeezing tight around him against your own will and drawing moans from both of you. "T-too sensitive, honey, I need a break."

"'m sorry," he pants against you, lips pressed to your cheek and leaving a small trail of spit. "I can't... I can't, love, need you too badly.

"John..."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry..." He sounds almost choked up above you, his voice cracked as he starts to pound into you faster and faster, forcing your legs higher. "I need to fuck you, love. Need to come. Can't... can't go another minute without- fuck, without you."

"You have me," you try, unable to keep yourself from trying to squirm away.

He snarls suddenly, forcing your legs so far back that your knees nearly brush the mattress. "Not yet," he spits, more beast than man above you. "Haven't... haven't given you enough."

You can only keen loudly, spine arching as the aftershocks of pain slowly morph themselves into pleasure.

Every thrust drags against oversensitive nerves, the clap of skin almost deafening. He brushes against your clit with just enough force to keep you on edge, keep you whining and moaning beneath him.

"Close," he pants, battering into you. "Just.. just a little... fuck, so close..."

"Come, John, please!"

Your own begging is what pushes him over the edge, your hole milking him for all that he's worth, even as you remain on edge.

He finally lets your legs fall from his arms, and you lightly shove at him until he falls away from you.

The both of you are panting as you lay side by side, staring up at your ceiling fan.

"Holy shit," you whisper, minutes or hours later. Your nerves feel like they're on fire, buzzing beneath your skin.

"Ditto," John echoes, sounding equally as rattled as you. It's almost impossible not to giggle at your poor husband sounding so shocked at his own stamina, and you roll into him so you can bury your face in his chest.

"What?" He asks, smile audible already. You don't even have to say anything for him to laugh too, your happiness always contagious. Soon enough he's wrapped himself around you, tucking his face safely into your hair and hiding his smile.

You fall asleep just like that, thoughts of pizza in bed long forgotten, and wonder if you can convince John to take whatever it is he must've had again sometime soon.

[konigsprinzessin]

donnerkeil. part five, yandere!könig x reader

hey! sorry about the hiatus. not proofread. love you all.

mentally, he cursed you for not letting him in. he didn't care. why the hell would he? he would be too focused on you anyways. admittingly, he would've scoped out your apartment to find any thing he might wanna bring with him as a little memory of you. if he were to find your bra or panties casted aside on your bedroom floor he would try his hardest to conceal them within his palm.

his eyes got wide and almost frantically told you that your messy flat was no problem. he wish you would jump in and invite him anyways. he watched you fidget on your phone, asking again from his phone number.

which he gave you and then texting you right after. a few more minutes passed with you far too excited asking when he was free and asking könig questions about his policework.

policework? that's right. he kept his answers light responding with "its confidential". earning cute little laughs from your mouth. you wrapped up the conversation a bit worried that you were wasting his time. "i don't know what the word is english but im responsible for the entire unit and go to most calls because i'm...." he paused, trying to word in in english. he shook his head and spoke very fast in his native language "uh, i'm the top? i don't know how to say this." he laughed nervously. unbeknownst to you, both of these things were lies. his english was that of a native speaker's, hell, his english was probably better than yours. and that "police work" of his wasn't exactly as innocent and naive as he put it, the call about teenagers graffitiing buildings nor the call about the cat stuck under the family car were true. simple lies that made him look like a hero. someone to trust. how doesn't someone trust a giant that helps everyone. it tugged at your heart strings when he told you about an elderly woman that fell victim to an online dating scam- that one got you annoyed in particular, feeling enraged on behalf of some older woman that didn't exist nor did he save from wire fraud. he made all of it up to gain your trust. he wanted you to believe he was the local police chief with no hard crimes such as murder or rape to deal with. you admired this. the first outsider you meet is an older, native austrian working with the police helping and saving people.

that was charm. charming to you.

"well, if you give me a few hours i would be able to meet up tonight for drinks, im sure theres a bar nearby." you laughed as you handed his black cased phone back to him. you thought the suave was radiating off you, asking him out so calmly without fidgeting or shaking. you'd be thinking about him all day.

könig didn't want to wait. he wanted to push you back in the door where you'd fall on your ass and struggle to get up to defend yourself. even if you kicked and shoved you would be no match for his taller and bulkier frame. you were short and petite, without a weapon you were a frail mouse with no defense. even if locks were on the doors, he had a bobby pin laying about. he made a mental note of the locks and if needed, how he could make his way in.

not now. and not tonight. he would have to give it a few weeks for the chemistry to brew and bake until you felt comfortable with him. he knew his physique in itself was intimidating- which he loved to use to his own advantage.

"yes, of couse! although i have to be in the office early tomorrow so i can not be out until 3 or 4 in the morning." he had training at that time. if he wasn't asleep by midnight he would be an agitated mess at the gym. he had recently acquired a handful of new recruits that he would need to train this week. all the paperwork had been filled and finished last week so now the physical workouts called. he was curious to see how many would dropout within this week- maybe he would tell you that to fit along with his policeman job like an average civilian not a colonel from what some believed to be a terrorist group.

you hummed in response. "new recruits i have to train, i am curious to see how many will leave in the following weeks." he exhaled. knowing his time was running out and he would need to leave your doorstep. last thing he needed to do was give you the creeps and make you worried. you smiled at his comment, letting out a small chuckle.

"i hope they all stay, you seem to be a good trainer." you closed your eyes, crows feet appearing around your temporarily closed eyes. "you have a lot of muscle. that's something to be proud of, i can barely move my boxes around."

"ah, thank you, (y/n), i know for some it can be hard to stay focused and work out every day. it takes viel bestimmung oder ausdauer" he laughed, apologizing for not knowing the words in english. secretly, he hoped you would know but another part of him hoped not. he was cruel and calculated, he would keep you locked away and speak only in german and watch as you become more and more confused, frustrated and scared with the language barrier. just that thought made his heart pound a little faster. he didn't want to torture you- rather scare you into obedience and submission. as long he didn't physically hurt you then there was no harm in what he intended on doing. he reminded himself that and repeated it again to keep his head on straight. "and i can help you with the boxes, i don't want you to hurt yourself."

your eyes brightened at this idea. a godsend, you thought. you dreaded those boxes stuffed in the corner of your room. it was quite the eye soar and bothered you. the boys that lived above you were nice enough to help you move all of your stuff in, besides the heavier things like the entire refrigerator or microwave which you surely weren't able to install nor the heavier boxes filled with a myriad of trinkets.

"i didn't feel like brining half of the stuff in the boxes and coming back downstairs. it would take me too long." you sighed, scratching the side of your cheek. "i also have to install the microwave and fridge and i still have to call the maintenance guys." you half laughed partly out of embarrassment, still smiling nonetheless.

könig laughed at how flustered you looked with your cheeks turning into a bright pink. it reminded him of rose flowers. "i don't mind doing all of that right now for you, (y/n). only if you have time." with this he realized that you literally just have moved in. how could you not have these things set up by now? he was going to take you before any of the locals realized that you were settled down and lived there.

"well, i certainly do." you opened the door a bit wider for him. you sat the bread basket down on a high table adorned with your housekeys, a dish filled with rocks and photo of who he assumed was your family back home. he watched you slip off your flats, grab the basket and walk into what he guessed was your kitched. he also followed suit with his shoes not trying to be rude or give you any hint that he was off. you met him no longer than two hours ago and he was alone with you in your fucking house. gently, he placed both of his shoes side by side thinking how stupid you were. imagine, if he was malicious or had a gun? you would be robbed and dead by now. yet, you were a caring little thing. too innocent for this world. too innocent for him. all he had to do was rush you and choke you until you were unconscious and figure out a way to get out. he began to seriously contemplate thing noting the door behind him and the slightly open windows letting a draft in with open blinds as he made he way behind you.

there you stood, back to him with your hands on your hips. the refrigerator was laid horizontally on the wooden floor. granted, it was a small apartment but it could fit two people. it was most definitely built for students. the microwave laid door up on the kitchen countertop. könig found solace in how normal this all was, like he was an old friend using his muscle to help you move in or a couple just moving into a new apartment. he enjoyed the ladder more than the former by a longshot.

"im thinking the fridge goes here." you motioned to an empty spot in the kitchenette next to a plus, undoubtedly where the old tenants had it. könig watched you slide around with your white ankle socks on. he was jolting every few minutes with a primal instinct to cover your mouth and threaten to kill you if you didn't comply. he would never hurt you, just empty threats to keep you from running or screaming...or both. könig's mind went blank responding with nods and hums as you talked about where the fucking microwave should go. you should go, go with him to his place on the other side of the city. he only came back into reality when you struggled to pick up the metal microwave, which was too heavy for your little bones to carry. he thought how stupid he must've looked...how creepy he must've looked as you picked the metal up with him solely staring at you.

[danileepearce]

I share a plex server with some friends over where I live now and sometime ago someone requested and added Welcome To The NHK to the list of available shows on it. About a week ago i started to work my way through watching it and just tonight I finally finished it. I didn't really think to expect much from it, but it ended up a show, a world, a set of characters that im really glad i ended up spending my nights with.

Firstly, the show for a good handful of its duration is absolutely laugh out loud funny. I now understand in that way why it seems to have been at least a minor sensation in some corners of late 00s internet(i don't know exactly of the reach it had, but it was probably big). so many easily quotable/jokeable/memeable moments throughout, such a hilarious dissection of otaku culture and also really just like, early 20s life. satou is the most 22 years old any human being has ever been in their entire lives.

the show genuinely takes its sweet time really kind of slowly inching its true message on you; it front-loads itself heavily with its comedy and its stories about satou and yamazaki being complete ridiculous dumbasses over several episodes, with every episode ending with that insane ABABA BABA BA ODORU AKACHAN NINGEN song which, the lyrics are so well written and so relatable for 2006…i was only 11 when this first aired! ********************************************************************* [[MAJOR SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT, DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT THEM, ALSO CONTENT WARNING FOR SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER]] *********************************************************************

but then you get to that point in the series where satou becomes This Close to committing suicide. its played off in a somewhat over-dramatic way and even that has humorous undertones to it, but the first true colors of the heart behind the show really begin to introduce themselves in a very visible way after that point. the end credits song changes to something a lot more grounded, and little by little from then on, the humor kind of falls away, the characters satou had to bounce off of in these ways depart from the main plot altogether (but they give satou and yamazaki that one last "snowball fight" lmao. how did those two never kiss) until its just him and misaki. i actually was stunned at how totally transformed the tone had become by the last few episodes.

When I finally got to the end, it was one of those endings….one of those resolutions….where i just kind of ended up going out for a night walk at 2 am, walking for almost an hour listening to music, and then sitting out on a lounge chair on my driveway staring up at the stars and just thinking.

The big lore reveal for misaki around the climax of the story made me realise just how much i had in common with her. Basically ever since i first became homeless, and honestly some time before that, I feel like i've basically just always dedicated myself to helping others as best as i can. i used to be pretty bad at it, but i was dedicated enough to making this a fundamental part of who i was it that it became a skill within myself i refined like a sharp blade over the years. i gave myself up to ppl completely, in more ways than one, often just to have a place to stay. to this day, i feel like i give so much to my friends. i try to give so much to whatever community i find myself in. because i think i too share a compulsion to give others the love and the kindness that i was never given when i most needed it. like misaki. i also have worried pretty heavily about if my usefulness would last to the people around me. ive also hinged my entire life purpose on that.

i dont think i have as tragic of a backstory as misaki's is framed to be, but my family life was in many ways as equally fractured as hers. my mom didn't kill herself, but it feels like she might as well have. she always seemed like there once was a human being there that just became completely consumed with hate, with christofascism, with this desire to have me constantly hurt and beaten by not just her but by just about every adult figure that graced my life for many years. my dad was just simply not present, and was consumed by this complete inability to ever have the relationship with me that i so badly needed from him growing up. at times he was an equal participant in the abuse. and additionally at times he was actually scarier and a lot more energetically violent. when satou is on the island and raises his voice and fist to misaki, her reaction was something i felt very deeply. it especially hit with the lore reveal.

additionally, i related to satou in a number of ways too. up until this year i had spent the last 9 years essentially living in this very open-wound self-exploitative way where i essentially kept no secrets and no part of me concealed from people until this spring, around my 29th birthday, and at some point in the following summer, everything just Slammed Shut on my fingers from the inside and has not reopened. i feel like ive radically transformed into being a much more private person. i hardly post anywhere on social media anymore and most times i just outright avoid it. ive unfollowed/disconnected from a lot of the ppl i knew in that time period. ive struggled lately with a very deep fear of the world and of nearly everybody in it, since many of the people i met after escaping home were also people that hurt me in pretty profound ways, both on and offline. i spend a lot of time just in my house, which i try to maintain as low of stimuli within as i can. sometimes i just lie down and i listen to music and get lost in a very deep currant of my own thoughts. sometimes i just spiral. i was spiraling pretty heavily over this last week especially. feeling like the world and everyone in it wants nothing to do but just hurt me. like ITS ALL A CONSPIRACY (OF COURSE! WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE THIS BEFORE!)to keep me always suffering and in pain.

And, like both characters, i have wanted to kill myself. many times over many years. sometimes for extremely silly and impulsive reasons like satou, sometimes for reasons based out of very real deep-seated trauma, fear, and a sense of never-ending heartbreak like misaki. the way she fixates on death and suicide leading up to her own attempts is something i've done more times than i can count. anyone who has known me for any length of time has learned this about me at some point. my most recent plan to do so was made at the end of july this year. its funny in that way how satou catches misaki before she falls, and how satou is caught by the chain link (lol) and misaki then helps him back onto the cliff. that to me very much analogues my friends catching me and me catching myself. maybe im also that chain link; where even in my most brazen and my most far-flung from a grounded feeling that a hard wall will always stop me short from going through with it. who knows!

and i mean, maybe a hikkikimori partially/subliminally fits my description as of present, but maybe without the negative connotations that seem to associate with that term. ive mostly become a lot more hermetic out of necessity. I've Lived So Much Life and a lot of life that no one should ever have to live, and i've finally arrived at a place of stability and support where i can finally just Withdraw from it all. i can live with a quietness and a control over my environment that i've essentially always longed for. i guess that ive lived the reverse life of satou; he seems very comically dedicated to Always Being A Hikkikimori and yet he ends up doing a lot of Living over the course of the series! and in the end it results in him kind of resurfacing properly into the world. thats what the series portrays as a happy ending but i'd like to think that my "reversed" version of that has a happy ending to it in itself. i can finally live how i feel i deserve to. i can finally find and feel my own happiness in the withdrawal from so many elements in my life that were hurting me, burning me, bruising me very terribly.

id like to think also that our overall attitudes towards ppl who quote-on-quote Don't Contribute To Society have vastly improved since 2006; on a few occasions the series seemed very mean spirited in a way that hasn't aged well. The brief focus on kobayashi's brother i thought was really touching though; seemed like a more sympathetic look at complete reclusiveness even though he too has another "happy ending" type resolution. some ppl are just most comfortable shut off and isolated from most things in the world, especially in a covid age.

but anyway, i really like that the way satou and misaki dedicate themselves to self preservation is a(nother) contract that basically binds them them both to stay alive together. neither one of them wants the other to die, so either they both have to or neither of them do. that's really cute and sweet. i think i would get a lot out of having that kind of agreement with someone. like really, the way that this series extrapolates upon what it means to live, what it means to keep going, is done in a way that is surprisingly very well handled and very affecting to someone like me. and i definitely am sure that im not alone in that. these subjects were always the series' secret weapon, they were always the CONSPIRACY. the series just wants us all to live, to take care of ourselves through everything as much as we can.

in all of this, im reminded of a memory of someone who long ago i used to talk to and message every day as an excited 16 year old who barely knew how to be an actual person and was only really just learning how to interact with people online. if memory serves, Welcome To The NHK was a series that was very close and dear to her at that time. i hope she's doing ok.

but yeah. i guess in its own strange way NHK has become one of my unexpectedly favorite anime of all time, something that is no secret to anyone who has reached this same sentiment about it. It was something that found me at the perfect place at the perfect time. i get it now. i feel like i now get so much. a lot of this feels written very messily and disorganized and complicated in my thinking and wording, but if you made it this far, thank you for reading. its been a minute since i felt this inspired to just write

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Family Isn't Always Fair

Matildas age: 14 years old

Tw: Seizures, Hospitals, Family Arguing, Yelling, Mentions of shots

Summary: After Matilda's sister got diagnosed everything changed and she didn't get much attention as she used to. That was until she was diagnosed with Epilepsy and their entire family crumbles with one Chaotic night.

______________________________________________________________

Of course they didn't show up. They are always paying attention to my older sister Sophia. Ever since Sophia test results came back they've been acting like I don't exist. It's been like this for 3 years now since I was 11. 

My competition was today for ice skating and they promised they would show up but turns out they had something “come up with work” I just know thats a code sentence for something that came up with sophia. 

I haven't even had the time to tell them something that's been going on. My teachers and friends notice i blank out a lot and i've brushed it off for awhile but it's gotten to the point where i even got detention for not paying attention in class

***

Walking through the door I don't hear anyone or the house being filled with chaos. “Mom? Dad? I'm home”I shouted. Just as I thought no one, not even Sophia. All I see is a note on the counter with dads card saying I can door dash if I want too.

I heard someone knock at the door and I waited 30 seconds before getting up hoping the dasher had already left.

***

I was finally dozing off when my family came home

“Mattie we’re home” My dad yelled while putting the groceries on the counter.

I walked into the kitchen to see my dad already preparing dinner. “Wanna help?” 

“Sure, it's not like I have much to do, '' I replied, finally relieved that I got to do something with my dad for once.

“Hey, so i made first in my ice skating competition” I said, trying to make some small talk

“That's good Mattie, so are you moving onto the final round? Jay asked while finishing up the pasta on the stove.

“Yeah and i'm going up against my biggest comp-” 

“Your biggest what?” Jay turned his head towards Matilda when she didn't reply. “Mattie? Can you hear me” Snapping his fingers in her face.

(Authors Note, Even though abscess seizures last less than 15 seconds I'm going to make this last for around a minute reading it may seem longer but it's not that long). 

Jays POV

I called Hailey to come downstairs because either Mattie was pranking me or something was seriously wrong with her.

“Yeah jay what's up?”

“Somethings wrong with Mattie, it's like she's just staring into space and she's not moving.”

“What do you mean she's staring into space?”Hailey tilting her head in confusion 

Jay waved his hand in his daughters face and she didn't respond

“Alright i'm calling will” 

I was keeping an eye on Mattie but before Hailey could call will, Mattie started moving aging. 

“Mattie, are you ok? What happened” 

“Yeah im fine and i don't know what happened” Her voice obviously confused 

“What were we just talking about?” I asked. Will taught me in these situations I should ask questions if something bad were to happen. 

“Uhh, I don't really know. It's like there's fog everywhere in my head”.

“Hails stay here with soph im taking her to med” I said almost dragging matilda off the kitchen bench.

“Ok, keep me posted. I'll tell voight you can't come in tonight.”

***

Connor “Ok so we ran some tests and it's epilepsy. It seems like she suffers from absent seizures from what she told and what you experienced with her. “ 

As Connor checks up on Mattie I feel ashamed to even be a father. How did I not notice this, she had been suffering for a while. I made it seem like Sophia is my only child, I made her feel left out, I made her… I made her feel like a glass child.  

“Jay, JAY!” i was snapped out of my thoughts when will was trying to get my attention

“Sorry just thinking about something” I murmured

“I'm going to tell you this now, whatever happened whatever your think isn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented it no matter what you do. She's gonna have to live with it for the rest of her life and you guys will manage it I promise you.” will said while walking to sit down with me. 

9 months later

Things are different nowadays. Hails and I have been arguing more now over Sophia on how I never pay attention to her and I spend all my time with Matilda now. We started attending couples therapy 5 months ago, and so far it's working . We've been arguing less and spending an equal amount of time with the girls. I still do spend a lot of time with Matilda but Hailey does have to know.

“Sophia, hurry up if we wanna get good seats then we have to leave now” I yelled upstairs while grabbing my keys and matilda's small bag. 

***

“GO MATTIE” i cheered probably louder than everyone else.

Matties POV

Spin, Jump, Spin again anddd pose. I received an applause from the crowd and started to skate off the ice. I headed to the locker room and took my skates off and put my guards on.  I walk around to find my family talking with my coach.

“Ahem?”My mom gives a look that means stop and behave.

Finally they finish and come over to me

“You did an amazing job honey, are they not doing awards today?” mom said as she hugged me

“No, they said something was wrong with there scoring so they'll release them out by email to us” I groaned

'`How about we go out for dinner, whose turn is it to pick?’ My dad asks

Before I can answer my sister shouts out “Olive Garden '' I don't really like olive garden that much but I prefer to have a nice family outing than to argue. 

***

Once again me and my sister are fighting but this time it's bad. She had snuck out last night and got caught. She blames me because I didn't answer my phone to let her in. She ended up having to go through the front door which sends a notification to our parents phone every time the doors open. In my defense I had to sleep for my competition. I wasn't about to have dozens of seizures because I was sleep deprived. 

I was talking on the phone and my sister overheard me saying “She was a spoiled brat and she's annoying” Truthfully i was talking about this girl in school that everyone hates. Next thing I know I was hanging up on the phone then next I was being pushed to the floor. 

Haileys Pov

Me and Jay agreed that we would just let the girls fight now. They always made up and the fights were never physical, only verbal. 

We caught Sophia coming back home at 3 in the morning. We grounded her until winter break which is in 1 month. The whole fight went on for about 20 minutes before jay told them to shout 

Quieter before the cops came. 

I was showing Jay an instagram post when there was a loud thud. Me and Jay both shot our heads up towards the ceiling. “Girls stop throwing stuff” i just looked down at my phone then looked back up when i didn't hear them shouting. “Matilda?...Sophia?” Me and jay both shared the same look and got up to see the damage

“Mattie, soph what's going-”Jay's voice in a mad tone “Mattie, oh my gosh.”

Walking in we see matilda having a seizure and sophia just standing there in shock

“She's having a seizure, Sophia. I need you to run downstairs and get my radio” Sophia just stood there looking at me. “Sophia so help me if you don't go get that radio you will wish voight would have dealt with you instead”. By saying that Sophia snapped out of whatever she was in and ran downstairs.

“What happened? She never has epileptic seizure in awhile” i asked

“She could’ve hit her head or something because i don't know how you get from standing the ground” Jay replied while checking his watch as hit the 30 second mark.

Sophia finally brings up my radio and radio for an ambulance. “This is 50-21 gorge. I need an ambulance to my location, 15 year-old female having a seizure.  

At a minute and 30 seconds the seizure finally stopped. We rolled Matilda on her side in recovery position. Jay checked her pulse to make sure it's steady.

I ran my finger through matties hair, i couldn't hear jay asking where the ambulance is i just kept playing the scene in my head.

(Forgot to change the pov so this is going to to be in 3rd person until  Voight is done yelling at Sophia)

“Hey Mags” will said while putting his tablet down

“Hey will, you need to control your niece”

“What did she do this time?”

“She told me last week that she wanted to live with me because i let her eat ice cream while she was over at my house because "everytime i come to your house you let me ice cream"” She replied and made a squeaky voice

Will let out a small chuckle “She for real said that? I can't blame her i would want to eat ice cream all the time too”

Just then the buzzer went off signaling that someone new came in. Will ran over 

“What have we got”

“14 year old Matilda Halstead, found having a seizure in her bedroom” The paramedics said

Will knew he couldn't treat her because she was family. Connor and Ethan stepped in for the place of will.

“Ok, we're gonna move her to the bed on 3, (1-2-3).” Ethan said while getting ready

“Hey matilda, can you tell me how old you are”  Connor said while rubbing her sternum

Will just stood there looking through the open door. It took will to fight off every thought to go in there and help.

Just then Natalie walked in to begin her shift. “Hey will, how are you?” When she didn’t get a response she turned around to see Will standing there. “Will are you good?”.Natalie caught a glimpse of what was going on and decided that will shouldn't be seeing this. “Will, how about we go sit down.” Natalie brought will into the waiting room where the rest of his family was.

***

“Ok Matilda you're going to feel a small poke.” Connor was telling Matilda what they were doing even though she wasn't responding. 

“I want her taken up for a CT scan and I want the results as soon as possible, say Dr. Goodwin orders it.”

Connor didn't care if he got in trouble for lying about Sharon Goodwin's words. Matilda was family and he would do anything for her no matter the consequences.

***

Connor walked into the waiting room to see Jay, Will and Natalie. “So she had a seizure because of how hard she hit her head. She also has a mild concussion. I want to keep her for 3 nights just for observation. She wasn't reacting to the meds we originally gave her so I want to rey giving her something else.” Connor explained

“Why wasn't she reacting to the meds”. Jay asked obviously concerned

“I don't exactly know why, I wanna take her up for testing if it's ok with you and hailey”

“You can do it, Me and hailey give you permission to do whatever it takes to help Mattie '' Even though hailey was here he knew she would give permission.

“We moved her to a room on the Peds floor, but she is awake so you can go see her,” Connor said.

“I have to go take care of patients but ill make sure to come see her when i can. I’ll find someone to cover you for a couple of hours” Natalie said while getting up

“Thanks Nat” Will replied while walking away from her

***

“ARE YOU INSANE SOPHIA?” Hailey yelled at her eldest child “MATTIE COULD HAVE SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE NOW, DO YOU REALIZE THAT” 

“Hailey take a break or go see your daughter, I’ll deal with her” Voight stepped in.

Sophia let out a gulp knowing shes dead. If you were in trouble and Hank Voight stepped in to deal with you, you might as well just go to jail.

But this time was different, something about the way he was talking was completely different from when he would usually yell at the kids when they were in trouble. This time he was…he was Comforting and nice.

Hanks Pov

“Sophia, you do understand that your parents are extremely mad at you”

Sophia was too scared to even talk. She thought if she said something Hank would blow up at her.

(Idk what else to do for this part let's just say that hank didn't yell at her and he listened to why she did what she did)

***

Matilda’s Pov

All I could hear was ringing and muffled voices all around me. When I tried to open my eyes I immediately shut them because of the blinding light. I can feel someone holding my hand and I finally open my eyes to see my dad sleeping in the chair, he moved close to my bed and my uncle will talking to my mom catching her up on what happened, to wherever she went…

My head is pounding and my mind feels hazy. “Did I have a seizure or something?” I think to myself.

Just then my dad wakes up and sees me looking around the room. 

Jays pov

I can see Mattie’s eyes and she is obviously confused and wondering why she's here. It's not our first time here and everytime she ends up crying because she doesn't remember what happened and she's confused. 

“Hey Mattie, how are you feeling?”

“Like I was thrown in a washing machine on a spin cycle.”

“I can see your humor and attitude hasn't gone away.” I chuckle

Just then will and hailey come into the room asking all type of questions

“Maybe you guys need to calm down on the questions and-” Before I could finish Mattie started crying.

“Why’s she crying?” Hailey asks concerned 

“She usually cries after waking up because she's confused and scared. Plus you two bombarded her with questions as soon as you saw her” I reply with a snarky tone

Just then the pager went off“ Shoot i gotta go take care of a patient i’ll be back later Mattie.”

“So did you talk to Soph” I said breaking the silence

“Yeah i yelled at her for like 2 seconds before voight came in.”She said looking down at the floor

“And what did she say?”

“She explained everything and i understand why she pushed her”

“Really hailey, you're protecting sophia again? She's the reason why we're having this conversation right now.” I yell but in a whisper

“Jay, how about we talk about this at home, we're in a hospital.” She says

“Fine, we'll talk at home. ”

***

I am so fed up with Hailey always protecting Sophia in these types of situations and using her disability as an excuse for her actions. “You're never here to see what's going every time she's in the hospital the first night, You're always at home with sophia.” I snap

“Well, yeah who else is going to watch her?”

“HAILEY, she's 16 years old, Mattie was staying at home watching her at 12 when we were at work and when sophia wasn't home” I yell but none it down because it's night time and i don't want Sophia and Mattie to wake up.

“I WAS WITH SOPH ALL ALONE HAVING TO DEAL WITH HER” she yelled back in a whisper.

“You seem to prioritize Sophia over mattie. Did you forget that you have another daughter? You made me feel like i needed to pay attention to Soph more than Mattie”

“Jay I-” She tried to speak but I cut her off. “No, I need to talk. Matilda has felt miserable for 3 years because of us. I didn't even realize I was making her childhood like mine. She felt like a glass child for years hailey…YEARS, and now when i try to hang out with her and be with her you need to put yourself there and say that “You should take Soph with you” I imitated her “Sophia this, Sophia that” I imitated her again “Do you ever get tired of talking about sophia?, NO YOU CLEARLY DON'T” I yell this time “GOD HAILEY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU HAVE TWO KIDS NOT ONE, BUT TWO.” I shout in her face “I am so done with you right now-”

Just then Matilda walks in the kitchen wondering what's with all the shouting

“Dad, what's going on?” she asks

“Nothing Mattie, go back to bed i’ll be there in a minute” I reply with a smile

She runs back up the stairs and I turn back to my wife. “You don't even go to her competitions anymore…” is all i could say. I couldn't stand to see her right now. 

I walk up to mattie room and knock on the door frame “Hey my favorite ice skater, can i come in?

“Sure”

I walk into Mattie's room and sit on the bed. 

“Hey dad?” 

“Yeah?”

“Are you and mom gonna split up?” she asks me with tears in her eyes

“Oh Mattie, I really don't know honey. Me and mom are just going through stuff and we aren't happy with each other right now” I tell her while bring her in for a hug

“I heard you arguing about me and Soph, but mostly me” 

“We just had a disagreement about something that had you in it. It's fine, nothing bad was said about you. I reassured her

“You don't have to talk to me like i'm five anymore dad” She said making the word five very clear

“You're still gonna be my tiny little baby forever though” I chuckle “Mind if I sleep here tonight?” I didn't want to sleep in the same bed with hailey let alone be in the same room with her.

“Why” Shes asks

I quickly come up with a lie that she will believe due to the recent events “Will and Connor said i need to watch you just incase you know”

“Sure you can go get the spare mattress in my closet because i know you wont sleep in my bed because you complain i move in my sleep, plus i don't wanna sleep by someone who snores like a bear”

“You got one thing right, you move in your sleep like crazy and two I do not snore like a bear, I sleep peacefully like a baby.” I say while bringing the mattress and blanket to the room.

While setting up the mattress I realize I don't have a pillow “Hey Mattie do you have a-” I get cut off with her throwing a pillow in my face.

“Here's your pillow you big baby”

“Alright go to bed before i ground you for doing something stupid, i'm gonna use the bathroom real quick”

“Ok”

I came out of the bathroom to see Matilda passed out in her bed. She definitely missed her bed while being at the hospital. 

I get into bed, well the mattress and think about what I'm going to do tomorrow. I can't continue living with someone who acts like this and doesn't recognize her other daughter. Let alone see her when she's in the hospital.

***

Things are different now. Hailey wouldn't agree with me on how she's wrong about Sophia and how she “can’t” take care of herself. A few months after the whole thing with Sophia and Matilda we got a divorce. We dropped the charges that were held against Sophia because we didn't want it to hurt her future. Me and her still work at intelligence but i don't come in for work unless i need to. I do cases from home in my office so I can be with Mattie and I don't have to see Hailey as much. I do go into work every couple of days to be with the team and talk about cases and whatnot. 

Mattie alsojust celebrated her 15th birthday with family and friends. As an extra gift from me to her I took on her dream vacation to paris. I even tried to ask hailey if she wanted to come but she said no and that she had work that week. I knew it was a lie because I knew her schedule and she probably just said that so she could take care of sophia.  Mattie, even a national titIe when she went to Nationals. She was the highest scoring out of the entire competition. I couldn't be happier. 

Although I do miss our whole family being together it's been better now that we're apart. I've gotten to know Mattie way more and had to listen though all the girl drama. Even had to help her when she first got her period and i didnt know who to call because Hailey and Kim were undercover. 

Life may be different than it was. What maybe a year and a half ago, but were going to be fine and were going to live with it. 

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family” - Anthony Brandt

This is way longer than it is on wattpad because i combined both chapters into one plus i like changing the title in tumblr for the fun and looks if it. Just a little quote to close out this story

[pprodsuga]

omggg a snippet just for meeee i'm so honoured u wanted to share something with lil 'ol me. stop it before i develop a parasocial relationship with you...

on a different note, if u will allow me to rant for one wee second.. this is completely irrelevant to anything but i was looking for some romcom novels to read (bc i need to stop letting fanfiction consume me), and tell me why authors pick the ugliest most generic ytest names. i haven't read a real book in a while and i'm so used to reading ff now where even side characters have korean names that the switch over back to western books is awful. i had to stop my search bc wtf is GARRETT and TUCKER. ik a korean name is just a name, there's nothing objectively special, but it's just more unique in the sense that i don't see it often outside of media. the only way to get around this is fantasy books where the names aren't even real names (thank god the book im currently reading is fantasy). PLEASE can i just get an ethnic name and maybe more ethnic characters or something... sob. i just want a college romcom to cope so i can get away from college au's😭 yeah it's fucked for me. thank u for listening to my unsolicited bitch sesh

-comet

just for you, for always being so thoughtful in your words. more under the cut to spare the dash.

your first messages back in june struck a chord within me for two reasons: talking about my writing was an incredibly kind thing for you to do and it validated the hell out of my work. but also, i was experiencing a lot of friendship turmoil that i had to navigate (re: why i wrote never to keep).

i don’t know if i’ve ever expressed just how grateful i am to have read your messages at that time because for that entire month, i felt like i did not have anyone in my life to back me up when i stood up for myself. knowing that you thought i must be someone with a great deal of empathy and kindness restored a bit of faith in me and who i am as a friend. i reread your message over and over again until i could remind myself that i am who i am for a reason. so thank you.

character names are something i think about a lot, both in fanfics and regular fiction. i’m oftentimes taken out of the story when it feels so incredibly yt (but go figure, i’m not white but have a “white” name so i understand that there is some nuance sprinkled in there). but sometimes we just crave that subtle representation in an ethnic name so i don’t have to wait for the author to explain that they’re not….white. in every sense of the word. but like if you’re gonna pick a white name then at least make them sound HOT?

onto the snippet! i’m excited to post this one. no idea when i’ll finish writing/editing but i’m excited that you’re excited. not providing context bc im a menace and will make you wait. 😎 (thank you for being excited.)

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Sunghoon turns to look at you. “You were always the most unpredictable part of my day.” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah. You moved into the apartment next to mine and running into you a few times a week kept me on my toes. I don’t know. I guess I saw you as someone I would have potentially befriended. I could at least pretend I was coming home to talk to someone who cared.” 

“That’s…very sweet. You’re a nice person, Sunghoon.” 

He sighs. “I don’t feel that way. I don’t know when I’m gonna see my family and friends again and explain all of this, but I'm starting to get the feeling that they’ll never hear from me and they’ll never know what happened tonight.” 

“You know,” you begin, “a lot of my life was spent moving from place to place and never having anything or anyone to call home. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you to leave everything behind. For that, I truly am sorry.”

“It’s really not your fault,” Sunghoon says dryly. “Whoever tried to kill you should get a bullet to his head.” He hears you laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah, well that likely wouldn’t solve our problems.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t think that man acted on his own accord. It’s too professional to assume he’s working alone.” 

“You’re saying he’s working with someone else?” 

“Or, he’s working for someone.” 

Sunghoon gulps. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“The price of freedom is high. Remember that.” 

“You know, none of this explains how you know what you’re doing. If you know, for that matter.” 

He doesn’t hear you move for a short while and closes his eyes shut. Once again, he’s found himself slipping up and saying things that don't translate well. Too afraid to speak, Sunghoon considers sleeping and dealing with his actions in the morning. 

“I know what I’m doing because I’ve done it before,” you say through the darkness. “When your whole life revolves around survival, you adapt to the best of your ability and do anything to stay alive. I’ve learned a few things from my time on the run so please know that I know what I’m doing.”

“Who are you?” 

The room is silent. 

“Someone you can trust.” 

[quodekash]

i went to sleep yesterday instead of watching the eclipse episode BUT im here now and ready to suffer in a good way from the beauty that is akkayan

bRO

the parallels in this are crazy

the eclipse is filled with parallels and i love it so much

this is so funny, akk why do you keep saying that, hes gonna keep kissing you-

OHHHH HE KEEPS SAYING IT SO THAT AYE KEEPS KISSING HIM

I love them so much

i love the upside down kisses, it makes me think of the spiderman which makes me think of akk as spiderman which makes me think of how transmascs love spiderman which makes me have trans akk headcanons and ghjbdgfhjb i love it

GUYS YOU COULDVE SLEPT IN AN ACTUAL ROOM TOGETHER

YOU DIDNT NEED TO SLEEP THERE

THE OTHERS DIDNT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

I LOVE YOU BUT YOURE SO SILLY

HES SO PRETTY HOW IS THIS MAN SO PRETTY

this scene is so funny

none of them even offer an excuse or explanation, they just run

what are namo and wat gonna do in the meantime while the others are doing their work 🤔🤔

HUZZAH I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

i think we all knew this would happen

WAT YOURE A GENIUS

HE'S MAKING THEM MAKE UP AS CHARACTERS WHICH WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE THEM MAKE UP IN REAL LIFE BC THEIR LINES ARE VALID POINTS

lets give it up for our lord and saviour, wat

pffffft

sorry i know this is an important moment but-

but aye is just so short

and its so funny to me

even tho i know im shorter than khaotung by 16cm

its still funny

"i really want you to see them hug. theyre like two people who truly love each other but believe in different things" GRHJBSGD

i love platonic watsani moments they make me happy

some of my favourite scenes in the actual show are platonic watsani moments

theyre both my favourite characters (only by a little bit tho bc theyre all my favourite characters)

im just terrified of them being coupled together and im so glad theyve kept them entirely platonic and havent changed it at all, cos like for os2 they completely deferred off the seanmaitee train tracks bc winnysatang became a thing, but im glad theyve kept watsani's dynamic exactly the same, it makes me happy

THE TRIO TOGETHER AGAINNNN i missed them

i know theyve been hanging out this whole time but its been ages since weve seen just these three hanging out, their little friend group who've known each other for years, and can read each other inside out

theyve known each other for six years specifically

which is a really freaking long time

thats since they were in... year 6? BRO IMAGINE HOW TINY THEY WERE

AWW

DO YOU SEE NOW

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SO BEAUTIFUL

BHBJHVJHVJGV

"i think people hate or are afraid of something because they don't really understand it" KAN SPITTING FACTS

also gotta love the metaphor

look at how pretty this visual is

guess who im adding to my parents-to-destroy list

IM GONNA CRYYYY THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER AND COMFORT EACH OTHER AND WAT'S CRYING AND THEIR ARMS ARE AROUND EACH OTHER AND THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SO BEAUTIFUL ITS KILLING ME

OMG

I KNOW WHATS COMING

THE HATS

THE FLIPIN HATS

IM GONNA HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN ABOUT A COUPLE OF HATS

THEYRE SO CUTE IM NOT OKAY

always, aye

aye, a summary: pretty

THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES THE BIKES

NOW IM HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN ABOUT BIKES

the gender on these two is immaculate

i want their gender please

NOOO THEYRE DOING A NUENGPALM THING

I KNOW THEYLL BE FINE BC THEYRE SOULMATES BUT NOOOO WHYYYY

"your mouth is messy." "your mouth is messy too" "wipe it for me" "with what?" "your mouth." HHHHHHHH

IM SMILING SO HARD I CAN BARELY SEE

LITTLE CHEEK KISS

i think akkayan's cheek kisses will be the end of me one day

there you go, communication, good job, finally

WHY DID YOU GUYS COME TOGETHER, HMMMM??

ZOOM ZOOM

oh you stronzo

he's finished the song, hasnt he

and hes gonna sing it to akk tonight for his birthday

OH NO

POOR NAMOOOO

all good tho, now he can date wat

sorry im being insensitive

i hope he feels better soon

am i crying because of how much i love these two human beings? maybe.

OMG FILM TIME

JGHSDKGEUISJDFGVOIERJDHGOIREJBDL

WAT IS SO FREAKING TALENTED

i find it so funny that theyre all peeing together

also having a wall separating the urinals is so smart why is that not a thing everywhere

ah shoot i ran out of images again, hang on

[friedesgreatscythe]

i had a coffee at 5PM so my dumb ass is still Alert at a quarter to midnight lmao. as long as i finish this notebook tonight, i'll be Content. the rewrites demanded i write new things so i can make sense of what i have to redo, and it's been a bit intimidating, going off the rails like that for this draft. but i'm determined to get to the end of this rewrite, no matter how sloppy it is, by april 19th (because next draft is for further polishing). my therapist comes back that day after a month break, and we decided my homework during his absence is going to be all about holding myself accountable to progress, which includes working on this draft and finishing a rewrite this year.

plus it's the release date for taylor's album, and it kinda feels serendipitous to finish this novel draft on the same day an album with the name tortured poets department comes out.

other than that, i've been doing quite well. tapering off of effexor (venlafaxine) is going well. now that i'm taking b12 and vitamin d on top of the multivitamin i'm already taking, i'm feeling a LOT better. i'm continuing to take care of my mom, whose cast is coming off later this week. not sure if she'll be fully healed by then, but at least the cast is coming off. my sister is enthusiastically invested in ffxiv, which couldn't make me happier (and once i get steady income i'll get back on ps+ and play eso with her, so she can be my mentor and guide me through!). she's also watching game grumps more, which is so fucking exciting because NOW I CAN CRACK JOKES WITH HER WHEN WE HANG OUT AND SHE'LL GET THEM FJDLKS it's taken us literally 20 years, two fucking decades, but she and i are finally getting along and are friends. i can finally connect with larissa about things we both like!!

my brother has always been this way, so i'm not overlooking him.

my bio dad converted to Episcopalian, so he's been mentioning it when he goes to special services or giving us links to the services (he attends st. thomas's church in the city, which.. kinda makes me laugh because his name is thomas lol). they're quite beautiful, especially the choir. i don't begrudge him for this choice, but it does take me by surprise because he has NEVER shown ANY interest in religion for my entire life. if anything he's seemed rigidly atheistic. i asked him what made him want to do it, and he said it's to "be a calmer, quieter, better person." im not sure if he has faith in christ as much as he is drawn to the goodness of the people in the church, and what he thinks a christian should be, so in the end if it makes him happy and helps him feel better about himself, good for him.

he still owes me and my siblings literally thousands of fucking dollars as per the terms of his divorce agreement with my mother that he has been ignoring for over a decade, but apparently we're meant to overlook all that. that makes me sound like a greedy asshole, but my father has never been supportive in literal or figurative ways to us without us having to bleed his fucking stone heart dry, so while on the one hand i genuinely do want him to be happy with himself and become a person he can be proud of, on the other i'm like 'cool, so when will we see any of that change?'

but whatever. i'm mad about it but i'm not letting that distract me.

[worldwright]

good evening ! im super early today bc im dying lmao

man, it was so fucking hard to fall asleep after my war against that fucking stinkbug, and someone i wont name fucking deserted and left her leader to fight this great and horrifying enemy

anyway, i checked which fucking painkiller i can take, and the only one i can is paracetamol but this fucker does nothing to my headaches, so im switching entirely to water from tea bc it works better than a fucking painkiller

i slept bad (what a surprise), my father woke me up bc he couldnt find me (man, the only day he wants to know where the fuck i am is the only where i dont wnat him to find him), a headache is there and my nap didnt help ;-; but at least i finished my second watch of glass onion (started last week) and watched the episode of dunmesh and now i can say w/o any doubt that chilchuck is my fav -he was from the very beginning but ude, now im sure)

ill be able to finally sleep in my bed tonight yay

and here a picture the coward from this morning (or icecream, or latte, or whatever you like to compare her to. my friends call her "table basse" [coffee table] or "chieng en format familial" [familiy-sized doggo]. youre too kind with your nicknames for her lol)

have a wonderful morning with your partner my friend !

o how decadent is her lounging !! would that we could all feel the same peace 😌❤️

(no that is not proper English grammar don't copy me 😭😭)

hehe tiny emojis 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🍃🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

immmmmm so excited to hang out with people I felt like I was withering lmfao

I think I'm gonna go up to see all my friends next weekend, since all of them are once again living in their dream life shared apartment with the besties ughhhh I can't wait to live there

the new office manager at my job is so cool :3 he's incredibly gay lmfao

I've officially caught up on apothecary diaries. ugh what do I do with my life now

obviously the answer is wait impatiently for every new episode and write analysis posts in the meantime

mmm I wanna reread witch hat atelier...... next week downtime obsession found 👍👍

egg salad last night was all right! I accidentally added too much mayonnaise and then had to overcorrect from there, so it ended up not having as much egg per volume as it should have. but still tasty and nutritious :3

speaking of food you're SO valid about Chilchuck. he's just ❤️❤️❤️ This Is A Divorced Father Of Three With Extreme Communication Issues ❤️❤️❤️ who looks like a middle schooler 🥰🥰🥰

also chatted with a friend about our fic ideas, which was really fun. the problem is that I have a really fleshed-out AU, but I don't know what actual plot to put in the AU. lol. ahhhhhhh

girlfriend weekend!!!!! girlfriend weekend!!!!!!!!

hope your headache goes away in time for you to get good sleep tonight!!

[keefwho]

July 22 - 2024 Monday

10:57pm

5/10

Today was whatever. I did a lot of work. I think I did a good job on a Venus commission today and I did fine work on PZ's VRchat world. Im finally starting to get a tiny bit close to finishing it, but this should have happened a long time ago. I did my workout this morning and didn't hurt my knee because I stretched and practiced a better jogging form. I hope that keeps up. I've been grappling a little bit with what it means to be me and how my relationships function and the potential for newer, better connections to form in the future. Im just trying to own myself so I don't get taken advantage of which has been a huge theme of my entire life. It always feels like I'm standing alone when I try to become independent but it actually means I stand even stronger WITH the people in my life since suddenly it's about teamwork instead of me draining what I can from them.

The big topic on my mind tonight is sexual expression and how I just cannot do it anymore. I have no one to do it with which has been devastating for awhile now. Even when I was active with others, I feel like no one has ever really clicked with what I'm after and I've also struggled to feel comfortable in such interactions. I've been used, hurt, and neglected. Im probably just in a mood tonight but I feel like writing it all off for awhile. No sexual expression whatsoever, maybe I could use the break. No weird flirting, no porn (outside of my job), and no putting up with the horndogs around me. I feel disgusted right now. I also feel tired. Like yeah I want to be able to express myself but I literally cannot. Im so fucking tired. Its seeming easier to shut it down and enter my sexual repression era until shit gets better. MAYBE I need to put myself out there more but it doesn't help that I've more or less become demisexual. I think thats because of how much I've been used at this point. It's not ended well for me to end up in situations that were dominated by our sexual interaction. God I'm disgusted at people, and myself.

[awkwardkindatries]

Kinktober Day 3: Uniform

Have I ever said how much I genuinely love Celebrimbor? best boy.

Celebrimbor/reader

NSFW

Words:2347

Elves in Eregion didn't really have uniforms outside of military forces, they did however, have a standard of dress for their meetings in court. This dress code typically consists of a high collar shirt, a button down tunic, full length trousers followed by high polished black boots. One's hair must always be done and braided back and most jewelry is kept to the minimum at a circlet and possibly a ring. All fabrics are embellished in elaborate embroidery and buttons polished to a lovely shine, not a hair or stitch to be out of place.

These court sessions aren't exactly frequent so within your time there you hadn't had the pleasure of catching him in his authoritative garb until today. You caught sight of him walking back to his quarters, his shoulders weren't square they were dropped in exhaustion, his eyes were tired and his brow furrowed in stress. You couldn't help but to follow him a few paces as he walked past you before grabbing ahold of his cuff, softly calling his name.

He whips around to stare at you allowing you to take full advantage of your close proximity. He's tall and broad as he towers above you, his clothing makes him look sharp and important, as if he could command a room of people and they listen without hesitation.

In contrast, his disposition was soft, worn down by politics and stress bearing down on him with the weight of Arda. Though you couldn't relieve him fully of this weight you could at least make the load seem lighter.

You offer him company on the rest of the walk back to his chambers, the halls oddly empty as the hour was not yet late. You suppose this was for the better as the added traffic would only have exasperated his condition. Chatter was relatively light between the two of you, and though you two had grown close you didn't want to wear him down further with topics of importance.

When you had made it to his door, he hesitated frna moment before allowing you to follow him into his room. It wasn't something new to you however, it was deemed inappropriate by the court for an unmarried individual such as yourself to follow a member of said court into privacy, let alone while he was still in his professional attire. He opens the door and before you enter you glance to both sides once more and follow him on, lightly shifting the door behind you. You turn in search of him and find that he has fallen backward in a large splayed-out lump on top of his bed, legs draped over the side and head inches from the wall.

His arms rest bent over his head, hands atop his eyes as he lets out a deep sigh, letting the stress of the day leave his body as well as he could on his own. You couldn't help the light snort that left you as you took him in, yes he was tired, stressed, more than likely overworked but he was an up and coming leader and you understand that there's an adjustment period to these things that your partner might still be adjusting to.

While he mulls about with his head in his hands and thoughts elsewhere you take the moment to look around his room. It's neat, like normal but there are still things out of place that feel like disarray in the normally spotless, “not a hair out of order” Feanorians room. Books are pulled from their spots and left about on the table in the center of the room, discarded after reading. A half-empty cup of tea remains beside it. The towel he had used earlier in the day has not made its way back to the bathing chamber and sits in a little pool on the floor at his footboard. And lastly, the circlet he had been wearing earlier now rested on the floor, more than likely having been aimed for the table and not bothering to pick it up after hearing it drop to the carpet below. Odd, it was his fathers. He only ever wore it for formal occasions and typically treated it with more care.

You make your way in front of him before bending down to pluck it from the carpet, setting it in its intended place. Once finished, you turn to him.

His arms and hands slide from his face before his eyes reopen and he stares you down.

“Thank you, though you could have left it. I'd have gotten it eventually.”

You give a kind smile in return

“I couldn't possibly leave something so important to you.”

The smile he gives in return is tired and barrel there but it exists and you cherish every moment. Reaching out your hand you offer help, and say “if we hurry then we might still be able to catch supper, I heard they're serving stew tonight.”

It is his favorite after all.

He grabs your hand and attempts to stand before his knees give a weak wobble and he plummets back to the mattress. His body was obviously much closer to shutting down than the two of you had originally suspected.

He drags you down with him as he reconnects with the bed, you landing on top of his broad chest, subconsciously to the expensive fabric beneath your fingers, eyes shutting in anticipation of impact.

When it comes, the impact isn't too bad. The Ellon beneath you is as firm and solid as a wall below, opening your eyes you look up into his and you're surprised. His face is flushed a soft pink as he stares down at you, mouth suddenly filled with cotton neither really capable of speech. You're just about to get up and awkwardly excuse yourself to the hallway in order to take your embarrassment elsewhere when you feel it.

You're resting on something that grows hard against your stomach and as a result, are probably much redder than you were a few seconds prior. Since your eye contact stopped the next few moments would almost be comical as he realized the very moment you figured this situation out. You in turn realize you'd been found out and look away is embarrassment, not entirely sure what your next move should be.

He sits up, slightly shaking as anxiety begins to rack his body.

“I-im so sorry!” he quick to apologize

As you still rest in his lap, fingers tightly holding his velvet tunic you begin to consider a few things. How tired he has been lately, his body probably reacting in many ways due to this. How hard he has been working to do better for the people, his constant commute back and forth from the dwarvish colonies to improve relations, how on top of all of his duties he still manages to do the bare minimum to take care of himself and still sacrificing what little personal time he had for you.

You wonder when he gets time for care, he spends so much of his time caring for others, he does he receive any back.

Perhaps you could do this for him.

Taking the chance, you brace yourself against him and push back, grinding against him. His hands shoot to your hips holding you fast, looking all the more like a deer in sight.

“What are you doing?” he asks

You clear your throat and attempt the best steady voice that you're capable of at the moment.

“ Could I- if it's okay, uh. Help with that?” you ask, gesturing slightly down with your head.

You broke him, you're convinced of it, he hasn't blinked or moved in possibly a whole minute and at this point you're certain that you've just embarrassed yourself enough for the rest of your lifetime, you've ruined all of the time you put into forming this bond with Celebrimbor. You make to get off but his grip on your hips holds firm and he speaks, it's low and soft, barely there at all.

“I couldn't possibly ask..”

Immediately you perk up and backtrack your last thought process.

“You aren't!” you insist “I'm offering, I’d really like to help”.

Another moment passes and he nods in approval turning his head away, possibly embarrassed himself “Alright, if you so wish it..”

After receiving his permission you suddenly feel much more authoritative as you have this powerful looking Ellon below you, wanting your touch.your hands glide up from the fabric of his tunic to his neck stopping at his jaws, forcing his face in your direction his eyes meet yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

The question is simple but his reaction is almost like it was more intimate a request than touching anything below the belt. The answer isn’t as firm as the last one but he consents. Leaning in you apply soft pressure taking your time to make this count, to make him feel loved, appreciated. This cycle repeats until you slide your tongue along the seam of his mouth, asking for further permission. He shakes a tad but relents and squeezes your hips harder as you suck his tongue into your mouth and give a firm suck, the grunt that leaves him is intoxicating. Pulling away he already looks slightly out of breath and frankly you’re impressed with yourself.

You gently pull his fingers away from your body and move to kneel on the floor in front of him.

His hands now clench onto the fabric of his bedsheets as you take your time dragging up and down the sides of his thighs hoping to bring him more comfort. With a little more confidence your fingers trail over the fabric above his crotch, receiving a sharp inhale in return. Moving to the laces, unlacing them is quick then you make for the hem of his trousers. Looking up, he then understands and lifts up his waist allowing you to pull them further down to his thighs.

He's full and standing at attention, you glance up to him and you don't think you've ever seen his face any redder as he bites his lip in anticipation.

Taking him in hand you give a light kiss to the underside, his head falling back as a gasp leaves him. Continuing to watch his face, you grasped him tighter and began to stroke him up and down, a shudder leaving him at the motion.

In no time you've collected a fair amount of saliva and put it to use, giving a firm lick to the length of him. His breath chokes up for a second as he experiences this for the first Time. You repeat this a few times before taking a breath and wrapping your lips around his head. You hear the sheets stretch on either side of you as you work. Sucking in your cheeks as tightly as you could you swirl your tongue around the head, every so often flicking against the slit across the top.

Now that his noises have worked up to breathy sighs you take this as a sign to kick it up a notch. Bracing your hands on either thigh you push yourself up a little to give yourself a better angle. Tightening your hold on the bottom of his cock you took as much of him in your mouth as you could, barely making it to the top of your hand. Continuing your work and pace with determination you had barely noticed his hips following your pace chasing after the heat of your mouth.

His head is still tossed back as he breathes deeply occasionally gifting you with a groan and now you've given yourself a new goal. You want to make a mess of this man.

Removing your hand from his base you take a much deeper breath and begin to bob your hands as shallowly swallowing with every other bob. His hands shoot to your hair as a moan forces its way out of his throat. You have to try your hardest not to gag as tears prick your eyes and your jaw begins to ache at the size of your task. But you can do better, grinding the head of his cock against the back of your throat you begin to hum, alternating between bobbing and grinding your head in his lap occasionally scraping the tip of your nose against his pelvis.

You can feel his hands trembling in your hair as he doubles over above you, groans and moans trickling freely from his throat as he tries to contain himself from thrusting into your mouth and causing you harm. His feet can't seem to keep still as they slide against the floorboards below and his toes curl tightly under the polished black of his formal boots. The heat in his gut begins to bubble, ready to boil over as he gives a weak effort to warn you of his untimely end

“D-darling I *groan* I don't have much l-longer..”

Doubling down your efforts, you're determined to make his world crumble around him in rapture. Mere moments pass and relief washes over you and your jaw as his body locks, keeping your lips pressed firmly against his pelvis as he throbs out his finish down the length of your throat, a deep moan choking it's way from his depths .

Letting out a shuddered breath he lets go of your body before dropping back to his sheet, trying his damndest to regain his breath. His body feels like jelly and his head empty of all of his previous troubles as he basks in his euphoric high.

Pulling yourself from him you lick your lips in satisfaction as your loved one pants across from you. You make to grab his trousers hoping to help remake his decent before his hands gently cradle and hold onto yours. Sitting up a soft blush has resurfaced to his skin and he looks deeply into your eyes, you can't help but to feel warm as your arousal shoots back up.

“So then is it my turn?”

[its-me-im-coraline]

Consequenses // Thomas Raggi

words // 1590

warnings // smut ahead hehe and not even a full smut, just a snippet honestly

pairing // Thomas Raggi x F!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. ok please let me know on the taglist link if you have asked me to tag you and i havent right now... I lost some of the user names so yeah im so sorry 🥺

request // yes

summary // Reader has been breaking Thomas’ rules by teasing him for days. Thomas eventually is fed up and shows Reader what happens when you disobey.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @bidet-and-legolas @atremendousstrawberrycollection @otaculo @selenophiliaxx

Music, throbbing lights and booze was the way Thomas and his partner decided to spend his weekend off. An average gathering made to feel like a party amongst the closest friends of the band and everyone’s partners. Of course the guitarist couldn’t resist bringing his lover along. He had not seen her in a while, traveling around and working on new music had made the relationship hard for the two of them, things only becoming harder when they started being unsatisfied with their more intimate relationship. The longing did not help much, instead it brought anger and anxiety, both resulting in ruining both of their moods.

The suggestion came from Y/N in the afternoon after Thomas took a break. They were sitting on the couch watching some tv show neither cared for, slowly trying to relax and potentially do more than sitting on the couch. The thought had occurred a few days ago, while the man was still not there, when his lover was maybe watching a bit of an erotic movie. “Maybe we should… switch,” was all she said. No explanation, no details, nothing.

Not much convincing was needed so here they were. Y/N being dominant was finding it a little hard to just sit there and listen. Thus the dom turned into a brat, choosing to tease the man during their first night together.

It was rather simple to get Thomas all riled up this fine night. They happened to have a small fight before the party (a disagreement over minimal things truly) so they were both in a very tense mood while at the party. Thomas was on the one side of the yard, talking with some of his friends, while Y/N was on the other, revealing clothing and lingerie (with certain movements it was visible to the man - and anyone else that paid attention, but not many did). The man was unable to take his eyes off his partner. See, she knew that the result would be pretty good.

“Keep this up and the result will not be very nice for you, amore,” he whispered in her ear when he finally approached her. His hand right above her ass, face too close for comfort.

“I am not sure I want to stop,” said Y/N, an evil smirk decorating her face. Her hips moved side to side, making sure the man could see. Back on her plotting she was.

At first things went smoothly: a bit of seductive dancing, a bit of drinking… The casual. But soon that would change as well. Ethan was sitting on a pool chair, joking about Y/N’s dancing, having a playful back and forth with each other until Y/N sat on his lap. It was nothing unusual for the two, it had happened plenty of times before, but both Thomas and her knew that this time was different.

By now Thomas is fuming. If he was in a cartoon his face would have gone comically red, smoke coming out his face in an exaggerated way. The cigarette and drink in his hand did little to help restrain him. For that, he downed the rest of his drink in an instant, smashing his cigarette on an ashtray and moving to his friends and partner. “Sorry to cut your fun short,” he smiled, trying to keep it together, “but me and Y/N need to go. Honestly, I’m feeling very tired,” he finished, taking Y/N’s hand in his and pulling her up and towards him.

Their friends did not say much, but rather voiced their goodbyes allowing the pair to leave the party.

Getting in the car was now the easy task, but one of them was dreading it. She knew that this would be so fun, but she was undeniably afraid of what could potentially happen that night. “What do you think you have been doing, dolcezza?” He all but growled, roughly turning her face towards his with his hand.

“Me? Nothing. I was just trying to have fun with my friends.” Oh, the innocent act. If Thomas wasn’t hot and bothered (more of the later) already, he certainly was now.

“I don't think so, baby. I think you have been very very naughty. I think you need a punishment.” His tone was playful but his eyes told a different story. Y/N was in for a long night, and they were still in the car. Thomas’ hands had already begun to travel all around his lover, faces dangerously close. And like that the vigorous kissing started.

“You shouldn't have acted like that tonight, amore,” he commented before he started driving back to their shared apartment. The ride was quiet but the tension and anticipation was loud as hell.

Patience was out the window the moment Y/N opened the door to their home. Thomas pushed her to the wall, attacking her neck with kisses. “I warned you enough times, my love, now it’s time for actions,” he commented, hand slowly traveling up to her neck, lightly squeezing, blocking the blood flow lightly making her lightheaded but so much more desperate for him. “Turn around and put your hands on the wall - just like that, good girl! Now, ass perked up.”

She was very well aware of what was about to happen and saying that she did not want it would be a lie. She was rather used to serving spankings to the man whenever he disrespected her - rather lenient - rules, taking such an adrenaline rush every time, but oh did she get a rush now, too. Thomas was getting more and more confident by the minute, Y/N getting rather aroused from it.

Thus she obeyed his demands, pushing her ass back, all there for him to do what he wanted. Thomas quickly got to work moving up her tiny little skirt to have her exposed to his will. Her ass looked amazing in that white lace thong she wore, making the man undeniably hard. “You know what you’re doing, don’t you? You planned for this to happen-” slap, “you knew I would not be able to hold back, didn’t you, puppy?” slap. “Answer me!”

“Yes, daddy,” Y/N responded very timidly, slightly flinching every time he struck her cheeks.

“Good, good. Now count for me, and you will thank me for each slap.”

“One. Thank you, daddy,” she began with his rhythm getting quicker and his force bigger by each slap of his palm. They reached around twenty five before Thomas decided on his next move. He said nothing but roughly turned Y/N around, pulling her towards their shared bedroom, lightly. After closing the door behind him - more out of habit than any actual practical reason- he pushed her to the bed, legs automatically falling open as he stared with lust in his eyes.

“Just sit there and do nothing,” he ordered, “no touching, or there will be consequences.” He did not go far after that, he only undressed and picked up the condoms and the lube, just making sure that she was entirely ready (not that he truly needed it at the moment - just a safety precaution) and knelt in front of his lover.

“Mhm,” he moaned, “you are looking delicious, but I’m not sure you can handle it. Maybe we should do this anoth-”

“No, no! Please, I can handle it! I can handle anything! Please, please!” she exclaimed, or more so whined, making Thomas smirk like a cheshire cat and proceeding with his actions.

“Anything, you say? Hm, we’ll see about that.” Oh boy was she about to regret those words.

His tongue started to tease her immediately as he finished his sentence. It was small short licks and little pecks on her clit, featherly but was agonizing in this case. The pace was slow, timid, really, all in an attempt to show his love in the most painful way possible. Her eyes were shut tightly, mouth hung open releasing heavenly (or rather sinful) noises - a pleasing confirmation of Thomas’ plan working perfectly. Y/N’s back was arched up as her head hung behind, chest bouncing in the attempt to gain more pleasure by Thomas.

“Thommy, please,” she whined, earning a slap on her thigh.

“You are being ungrateful, amore. I shouldn’t be giving you any pleasure at all. You’ll take what you can.” The lack of contact for the few seconds he spoke was enough to cause another fit of whines, but his breath on her heat made far worse ‘damage’.

He wasted no time moving up and away from his disheveled lover, moving to the dresser. Y/N simply sat there, mouth falling open, but this time due to confusion. It was clear that frustration had already started to pick up. Thomas on the other hand was enjoying the situation fully, finding it rather entertaining how he could make her melt so easily.

“Thommy. Come back,” she uttered in her usual dominating tone. Nothing. “Thomas, come back here-”

“What did you just say to me, puppy?” If he was pissed before, now he was livid, and it was clear as day. If this were some weird cartoon his eyes would’ve glowed red - a thought that did not help Y/N’s pleasurable fear. His hand had swiftly reached Y/N’s neck, not tightening up, yet making his stance threatening. “I think you have forgotten how things are going on around here, my love. You are not on the lead right now. I am. And you will pay for that.”

[blogger-yura]

Entry #30 Oct 29th '21

#YurasLife #FashionFriday #Fashion #HairDay

𝐅𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬?

Hello hello my pumpkin pies! How are you all doing? (^_<)〜☆ I hope everyone's good and taking good care! Yeah? Remember to eat, stay hydrated and warm!

How has the Halloween week treated you? I've been sticking to my movie marathon and cooking lots! Yesterday was the Freddy and Jason night so I had lots of fun watching those again! I had some cake and of course the best popcorn~. I also tried making pumpkin nutella hot chocolate for the first time and it was... Something! Hahahaha I think I'll make it again and send some out for everyone else to try it too!

I'm really excited about tonight though and the "Fear Street" movies! I can't wait to watch them all and finally finish the story! But of course, the weekend is what I'm looking forward the most! Are you guys excited for Sunday? Have any nice plans for the big day? I'm out today to get the final touches for my outfit and hopefully I'll be able to make it to Luna's (and Esme's of course~) haunted house in time! (*˘︶˘*)

There's always sooo many things to do during this season, such a shame it's ending soon! I'll make sure to put together a recap of October once its over though ♡ So stay tuned if you wanna know how that went!

Anyway, fashion Friday! New hair, who dis~.

Ta-da! I'm back to black! I guessed it had been already some months since I got the red- I love being a redhead, don't get me wrong! But it's so hard to maintain sometimes (〒﹏〒) So for halloween I just decided to bring back a darker haircolor. It's not really black, but I mixed different dark browns to make this one and I have to say I'm very pleased with it! Because yes, I did it myself at home LMAO you can imagine that was a MESS! A friend came over to help me though, we had a fun time ♡

Of course today's outfit also has a skirt! I have a lot at hand that I didn't get to wear so I'll do now regardless! I'm already regretting it a little since temperature is going down fast throughout the day but that's ok! I look cute at least I believe. This is also one of my favorite sweaters! I got it from a store at the mall a few months ago but they didn't last long, sadly. A shame because they had such nice stuff! But that's just how it works, uh? Have you guys already brought out your autumn clothes? Maybe done a little shopping spree for the season? I definitely will soon now that Min has dropped her entire line!

I think that's everything for now! Would hate to bore you guys with more rambles heh~ I hope Friday treats you well! It's almost weekend now, make sure to take it easy, try to not stress much! Time for rest is just around the corner and you worked so hard this week! I hope you know I'm proud of you and how far you've come, keep moving forward! Ok? (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )♡

I'll see you again soon, my pumpkins! As always, all the love and take care! -Yura ♡

🧡: @madmanwoodam @vitoria-oc @archangel-oc @shin-haneul @lunaaofthemoon @moongoddesselene @jinju-oc @ochouse @cbville @esmeralda-oc @jihan-oc

@cb-museclub @achillesunwoo @ares-bc @warblerchangmin @mafia-chae @unseelie-dejun @skzcbspam @betrayerjongup @ppg-3ye @moonlightchn @temptationcb @demigodnct @vampiremomo @suburbanbots @antiromantic-jun @roommates-bot @modelyonghee @floristyujeong @literature-bot @eunwoo-bot @hopelessromantic-juyeon @silvernightcb @choipaths @botuniverse @modelsora @adorbsana @richsocietybot @runawayscb @hwangxmaximoff @velvetparadise @berryjinnie @revengebots @urown-im @azieville-institution @7deadlysins-chan @journeythroughtime @mverses

[shotorozu]

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔦𝔱𝔬𝔰𝔥𝔦 ᥊ 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you find yourself in a bar that you and your ex used to go to regularly. the local bartender calls your ex- shinsou hitoshi; thinking you guys are still together. 

𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝘀: angst to fluff (happy ending), sfw, pro hero au (aged up), drinking (alcohol mentions and intake) ex to lovers, minor todomomo (not the center of this fic) reader is in the top 5, some swearing. 

𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱: [Y/N = your name, L/N = last name, H/N = hero name, ] f! reader, quirk not mentioned. 

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: i also did this trope on ao3 with todomomo, so i better not see people think i plagiarized them because.. that’s literally me lol. also! i was very conflicted, bc i also wanted to do this with shouto but since I already have 2-3 fics in the making, i went with hitoshi (but let me know if you wanna see shouto’s version.) 

word count to be added when im not sleep deprived

　　　　　　　　

　　　　　　　　˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

You swivel down another shot down your throat, not caring of the burn in your nose, nor do you care about the smell of the alcohol. 

You’re never like this, this is not the best representation of yourself, no. This is not who you are as a person, and the way your former classmates look at you with concern when you chug down another shot shows how unusual this is to them.

“Take it easy..” Momo pats your back, and you exhale heavily, putting down the glass. Everyone is certain that you’ll obtain some serious hangover, almost to the point that you’d have to take the morning off to treat your hangover. They’re aware that you’re not this careless, since you're in the top 5 after all. 

But they let you be momentarily, but why you may ask?

Because this is your way of coping a breakup with your boyfriend of 3 and a half years, Shinsou Hitoshi. They’re aware on how hurt you really are, and to be real- they were the ones that asked you to come out with them tonight to distract you. 

“They’ve been going at it for a while, it’s almost concerning.” Tsuyu comments, as she tends to a slightly tipsy Mina, holding her so she doesn’t fall face first into the floor. 

The least they could do is let you be, while you're not totally blacked out.

The local bartender- Maki, looks at you with concern when you order another shot, yet they still give it to you (with the slightest hesitation) since you’re such a good friend to her. (Your rank makes you very respectable, it’s almost intimidating! but your casual friend ship with the bar tender says other wise.) 

But on the contrary, you'd know when you’ve reached the limit, and you’d probably know when they’d start refusing your requests of another shot. 

One by one, their friends depart from the table, either they were too drunk to even handle it so they were brought home, or something came up- everyone could agree that they all had some sort of worry towards their dear friend’s very out of character coping mechanism. 

“I have to go soon,” Momo sighs, when she receives a text from Todoroki- though it’s very obvious that she’s still very concerned for you, considering that she’s the only friend left. “Please take care of Y/N, Maki-san.” 

Maki nods at your black haired friend, and the creation hero looks at you one last time before leaving the bar. 

Lifting your head, your words are slurred as you request for another shot, which seems like the umpteenth time that you requested for a shot. The concerned bartender still attends to your needs, yet- she’s contemplating of calling someone if you ask for another. 

Likewise, you finish that shot in a moment, and you slump down on the table. Eyelids fluttering slowly as your laughter is filled with intoxication, your cheeks are warm from being inebriated from the intake of alcohol. 

You don’t notice how your concerned bartender dials up a number, requesting for them to pick your drunken state. 

     »»————-　➴　————-««

“Did you know the word bed is shaped like one?” 

It’s now past midnight, and you’re mouthing off about something random, the train of thought is endless (but it’s more like a shower thought ramble.) Your fists are deep into your hair- holding your head up so it doesn't hit the table, meanwhile Maki paces back and forth- still tending to other requests from the very few customers left. 

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, yeah.” They answer absentmindedly, “Man, I haven't seen you in nearly 4 months! it’s been a while. You knows how to hold your alcohol so frankly, this is the first time I’ve seen this side of you!” 

“Oh really?” You slur, continuing on to spout out purposeless words.

The bartender’s response is a total blur, words turning into background noises, and a part of you is lucky to still be conscious and still functioning (yet it's barely) 

“..But you hold it well for--” 

You’re also very lucky that you’re a little too under the influence to even register the name.

You didn't know you’d take this breakup with him harshly. The most you were expecting was just.. crying while eating ice cream. 

But no, it was an utter shit hole. 

The door busts open, and the bartender’s expression seems to brighten up “Ah, there you are!” 

You grumble, the bar’s lights causing your eyes to sting- and your head hurts too. You might need some aspirin later.. you close your eyes shut. The bartender is chatting with the unknown person, and frankly- you just wished you didn’t intoxicate yourself this much.

“Y/N,” 

The baritone voice is almost sufficient in sobering you up. Turning to the familiar voice, you see the tall figure, sporting bedraggled purple hair. 

It’s Shinsou Hitoshi. A reason why you’re in such a mess, coping with a breakup in the first place. 

You almost fall off your chair in sudden revelation to the appearance of your ex lover. It was almost like.. your drunken state was making you see things- a possible hallucination maybe? it has to be that. Maybe it’s the side effect of the growing headache?? What was in that shot?

“Ugh, I must be crazy,” You wipe your cheek from slob, your head throbbing from the growing headache. The weary purple head raises an eyebrow, and the bartender is confused by the sudden tension. It's abnormal, alright.

The reason why you broke up was because of his lack of self care. 

Again, it’s not like he was being a shithead and cheating on you, or being a total prick of a boyfriend and neglecting you, and it’s definitely not the other way around either. 

It was probably the opposite. He'd neglect himself for days on end, not caring about himself, and not caring about his own being. It was.. not what you wanted at all. 

You figured just because the both of you are rising up heroes, and also adults- he would’ve gotten a grip of not neglecting himself. 

But even habits like that don’t get old. 

“Hitoshi- seriously, when was the last time you’ve took a breather?” growing slightly irritated by Shinsou’s continuous neglect of his own self care, and also the fact that he’s clinging onto you 24/7. 

“It doesn’t matter.” He shrugs, pinching your cheek. Heck, you should be glad he wants to be with you for the majority of the days. But you can’t tolerate him when he’s constantly complaining about being tired, although making little to no efforts in taking care of himself. Heck- his dark circles got even darker- how is that even possible?

“’Toshi, it really does. You can’t neglect self care.” Your brows furrow when he chooses to ignore your words. “You’re not listening to me.” 

“You should be glad that I want to spend time with you.” 

It stung. What the hell did he even mean by that..?? scoffing, and slightly offended, you reply “That’s not the main issue.” you cross your arms “We’ve talked about this before, remember?” You reason out, giving him the nice benefit of the doubt. You'd like to be civil here. 

He ignores you once more, and you can actually feel the irritation grow within you. “I don’t want to be the reason why you neglect yourself.” 

“I’m really not, okay?” He retorts back, “Why do you always have to bring up things that don't matter?” 

Aggitated, you snap back “Wh- we’re talking about you! Hitoshi, we’ve talked about this- and you said you’d work on it! do my words mean nothing to you?” Hitoshi’s gaze flickers up, only staring at you, as if it was his own way of judging you and your intent. 

And that’s how it erupted into a full fight, and into your eventual breakup. 

You didn’t know how expressing your genuine concern for him blended into him saying things he’d never mean in his entire life. He doesn’t stop you when you walk out, not saying a thing at all

There was no verbal breakup. It was just.. there. 

The unknowing bartender interrupts the nonverbal tension, “I thought you’d be a lot happier, y’know.” 

“We-”

“..’ll get going now, thanks again.” Before you know it, Hitoshi’s hooking your arm around his shoulders— as he walks to the door, leaving the very familiar bar.

It’s awkward, surely. You’re not sure why he was there, and you’re not so sure as to why he decided to come to your aid in the first place. If Maki called him, and he was requested to come to you in question, then he could’ve just..

“..sent someone else,” You mumble. You reek heavily of alcohol, and your skin is undeniably warm. Frankly, he doesn’t remember the last time you were like this— was it the first time you had a drink? it was years back at this point.

You’re pretty.

Beautiful,

That’s one thing that hasn’t change. Surely, what changed things was the fact that he said some.. horrible things— and refused to even listen to your concerns, which ultimately cause your breakup. His relationship status changed into some lonely and young hero, and his heart ached in different ways.

But you’re still very beautiful, to him.

Doesn’t matter if you’re all dolled up for a hero interview, or a mess on a off saturday. You’re still beautiful.

But now— he’s focused on your words, and he’s taken aback when you continue to speak, causing the both of you to stop in the middle of the sidewalk.

“You’ve coulda asked s-someone else to pick.. me up.” Your words are slurred, a normal side effect of being drunk. However, seeing your ex has surely sobered you up.

“That’s true,” Shinsou moves to continue walking, so you guys weren’t standing on the middle of the side walk on a cold early morning.

“What are you even doing at a bar at 1am?” He changes the subject, but you’re still caught on to your previous question. “You didn’t answer my question at all, meanie.” Her grip is firm, so there’s no way of budging it.

His laugh lacks humor, yet he feels obligated to answer her. Or else they’d be stuck on the sidewalk, due to her hero grip.

“It didn’t feel right,”

“Yeah sure.” You grumble, “Because you suddenly care.”

“I’ve always cared, Y/N.”

“Really?” You say, not really believing him anyway. “You seemed pretty sure with your words back then to care.” Despite being toxicated, your words have undertones of venom

“You may say that, but.. I’ve always cared.”

“Then why the hell did you say all of that back then, huh?” Overwhelmed by seeing your ex, who you still fucking loved by the way— tears grow at your eyes. “If you’re lying, stop it.” You say, literally not in the mood to be lied to right now.

You’re literally being carried by your ex, while intoxicated, while also having a throbbing headache.

“I’m not.” Hitoshi answers firmly. A certain edge grows in his throat, and he hates it.

“Yes you are,” Your voice is now wobbly, it’s really just a mix of your overwhelming emotion, as well as your drunken state. “You would’ve told me that weeks ago!”

You were always right, and he knows it. Ever since from the last moment you shared with him, your words were just.. nothing but the sheer truth. Yet, he’s only hurt you— because of his denial.

He knows you’re right, and he knows that he had his habits of neglecting his own care. Though that’s why he decided to change, that you were in fact- correct all this time.

And he was just an ass to even admit it.

“You’re right,” His fists crumple, grip tight as he fights his sudden urge to break. “You were always right. I’ve always cared, and you’ve always cared about me. Yet I was worried of changing, not being around you just so that I could take care of something that’s not really important-”

“But you are, Hitoshi,” You sob, nearly collapsing onto the ground— “You matter so much, yet you don’t even see it, and if I’m going to contribute to your destructive ways— then...”

“How could you? If you don’t care about my words, then do you care about yourself..?”

Shinsou sighs, bending down to meet your level— you’re gasping and sobbing into his chest, tears angrily running down your cheeks.

“I know, kitten, and I’m sorry.” Wiping your tears with his thumb, he speaks once more. “That’s why.. I’ve thought about what you’ve said, and I decided to take care of myself a bit more, I want you to know that.. I do care.”

You glance up at him, the city lights luminating his face— enough for you to see the adorning expression he’s sporting.

“..really?” You speak, in a nearly hush tone, again— you’re still very drunk, and overwhelmed with emotions. This could’ve been passed off as a fever dream, and you could’ve been normal with it.

“Yes, Y/N.” His mouth perks up into a small smile.

“Then.. would you allow me to start over with you again?”

Pushing against Hitoshi, you envelope him with your arms— it’s almost cliché and dramatic, the way you collapse into his arms like it’s the last day on earth.

But.. Shinsou’s glad he has you again. Finally a chance to prove that he’s changed.

ーーーーーーー

BONUS

You sit on the counter of your apartment, hands covering your face— as a way to shield your eyes from the prodding sunlight that peaks from the windows.

“This should help,” Hitoshi hands you a cool glass of water, “The way you hold your alcohol is terrible,” You chug down the glass of water, and you take a jab at him with your feet.

He hisses at the sudden attack, and only chuckles, “You’re mad because it’s true kitten,” He teases

“Shut up,” You draw him in with your leg, setting the glass down, “Just kiss me already,”

And so he does, pressing your lips against his— savoring the sweet warm moment he’s been practically starved of for nearly 4 months.

He pulls back, his expression showcasing that he’s tasting the aftermath.

“Ew, you taste like beer.”

You glare at him, and take another light jab, “Of course I do, Idiot.”

Despite saying all of that, he pulls you in once more.

　　　　　　　˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading (literally the first fic i’ve ever posted, so y’all BETTER like it or i’ll 💀)

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :)) (literally don’t, it’s 3:26am on a tuesday.)

[mimi-ya]

MIMI, I'M BACK!!!

After I finally finished writing that thing I had been putting off for months, my brain simply shut down and I couldn't get it back to work for the next two weeks 🤡 I really need to get tested for adhd asap

Anyway, how have you beeeeen? I hope this week has been a good one for you, so far 💕

I wanted to reread your latest fics before commenting on them, and I just found out there are some new ones out!!!! I'm gonna save those for later tonight hehe

Alright, so!!! Nightmare. WHAT A RIDE wkkzsknsndn not even the summary prepared me for what was to come 😂 Zoro is 100% soft for Chopper, and I'm all for it 😭 I really love their dynamics, and this fic reminded me of that ~ I do feel bad for Zoro, but I have to admit that the thought of him finishing himself off is..... not that bad............. 🤤

Now, on to "fashionable"... THAT'S IT. You've officially turned me into a certified Sabo Fucker™️ and I honestly don't know what to do about it 😭

I absolutely love the way you portray him, and this fic,,,,, 💯 THE TENSION!!!!!! The dynamics between Sabo and OC. The whole scenario 😭

Also, I love the fact that you included Perona in this story. I really love herrrrr. I mean,,,,, she can be pretty annoying, sometimes, and has quite... questionable morals, but!!! I still love her, and her entire aesthetic is 10/10

And, listen. I know this fic is a reader insert, but.! Sabo, Perona AND OC could have it any time,,,,,

Finally, I wanna talk about chapter 2 of covert identity!!!!

MIMI, WTH 😭😭😭😭 I'm crying once again as I reread it, and I LOVE the suffering 😂 Ace is such a sweetheart and deserves all the love in the world. He really went there and emancipated an entire island 😭

Even as we watch this turn of events (SABO?!?!!??! JWJSBUWJEHSJJEJE), I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up...... So I guess that, for now, I can only hope that Ace realizes how much he is loved, and how deserving he is of all this love 😭

Also!!! I'm really interested in OC's ventures during the time she and Ace had been apart. The scars!!!! I wonder what else happened before she met Luffy... That must have been so hard 😭

Now, I think my favorite part might be the one where OC tells Ace she loves him, and then he goes blue screen and asks her to say it again AAAAAGHSHSGSJHDGSISH I LOVE HIMMMMMM

Honorable mention to Whitebeard, though. He's such a nice person 😭 the man really lived up to his name. I love him, alright 🥺

Anyway, I love this story, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!!!

On another note, I read your discussion on the categorization of reader inserts and I'm so happy you brought that up! I've been thinking a lot about the use of trans-inclusive language, lately, and it's nice to see this topic being discussed within the OP community 🖤

- 🌱

(this is awfully long, I'm sorryyy)

YOURE BACK! I’ve missed you 🥺😭🥰

So glad to hear you’re finishing with some responsibilities you had, and i totally feel that shutdown mentality, and sometimes the mind and body do just need a break!

You’re too sweet for commenting on each of my fics 🥺 and i feel like this is gonna get double long, so I’m gonna use a cut here, lol

nightmare - oh to be a fly on that bathroom wall 😏 but unfortunately we had baby chopper to attend to, who is just my favorite thing to write paired with reluctant big bro zoro 🥰

fashionable - you’ve got me feeling THINGS for perona now!! I love her so much too, my dream is to cosplay her. Just a goth princess 😭😍 but back to sabo, it’s my goal to turn everyone into a sabo fucker. it’s what he deserves. my favorite op character. which is why I’m stressed everyday of my life because WHERE IS HE 😭

covert identity - ahh! I’m so glad you enjoyed, that story is really my baby. and yes, ace is certified best boy for freeing the island and just being all around perfect! im glad you enjoyed the sabo twist! i really wrote that scene first, and then i was like, okay. now how do i get there? Chapter 3 is going to be some fun sabo and reader adventures as they try to change fate…. can they do it? Idk, I haven’t wrote that part yet, lol

and thanks for comments on the reader descriptor posts! I think the categories are often used because it fits in nice boxes, but in life, most people don’t fit in these boxes, and boxes suck anyway! so I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to rework that on this blog🤔

tldr; I love and missed you 🌱 anon! and your in-depth comments of my fics literally made my day 💗💗 you’re the best kind of people out there!

[shaynawrites23]

Second Chances

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

The stunning moodboard is by the wonderful @im-a-writer-right, and look, if there’s one blog you should follow, it’s hers. Why are you still here? Go follow her! Or maybe after you read my fic 😉

Word count: 913

Prompts: “You’re my second chance.”

“You really like hugs, don’t you?” “Only yours.”

Written for @im-a-writer-right and @blisfvll’s writing challenges! And Ria, I’m also the toothbrush anon, so hi!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your nails made clicking sounds on the keyboard of your laptop as you typed. Yay, mission reports. In any case, you wanted to finish this as quickly as possible so you could go have a snack and get some kisses from your sweet boyfriend without either Steve or Tony badgering you about it.

You sighed. Having started twenty minutes ago, you couldn't permit yourself to take a break. Curse your procrastination. The report was due tonight and you only had yourself to blame.

Now you were ultra-focused on the words flashing into existence on your screen, so much so that you failed to notice the door of your bedroom open as someone entered.

The bed bounced when a large body flopped down next to you. You only glanced up for a split second, looking down again when you realized he wasn't a threat. It was none other than your loving boyfriend Bucky Barnes, lying face first in one of the many pillows you decorated your now-shared bed with.

"You okay, babe?" you asked, not breaking your concentration. The only response you received was a groan, or at least that's all you remember. Maybe your mind didn't quite register anything he might have said.

You almost forgot he was there until he started grabbing at your hand. God, you wanted to touch him too, just feel his presence, but you did not want to get Tony on your back about this dumb report.

"Buckyy, I need to work," you whined, pulling your hand out of his reach.

You made the mistake of looking at him when you didn't hear anything. He was pouting. The big, bad, deadly assassin, former Winter Soldier, was pouting at you like a child. Smart man.

You sighed, looking away so you could wholeheartedly convince yourself why giving in was a bad idea.

"Babe, let me finish my report and I'll let you cuddle me as much as you want."

He seemed deep in thought for a moment, as if weighing his options. Deciding it would be faster to just let you work for a few minutes, he nodded.

"Okay. But I expect kisses too."

"What are cuddles without kisses?" You grinned, the urge to peck his lips too strong for you and so you did exactly that.

He lay back, hands under his head as he watched you work. Not so much watching as admiring you, though. His eyes traced your features, committing them each to memory as if he were afraid you'd be ripped away from him and he'd be left with nothing but memories of you.

You'd been there for him since he broke free of Hydra, never once faltering in your attempts to get closer to him. After a particularly bad day, he broke down and let you past his walls. You helped him regain his memories and get out of his pickle with the government, and sometime in between, you fell in love with him, and he with you. You had been together ever since. His entire life constituted one long ordeal, one hellish nightmare, but you were waiting for him at the end of it all, welcoming him with open arms. His light at the end of the tunnel.

You were his sun, his moon, his stars. Hell, you were his entire universe. And for you, he’d do it all again.

"Buckyy, stop staring. I can't focus like that," you whined, patting his leg to draw his attention.

"Can't help it, doll, you're just too beautiful." Christ, the way the words rolled off his tongue had you actually believing them.

"Don't tempt me," you groaned. "I want to cuddle too, but then Tony and Steve will scold me for procrastinating, and you know how much I hate that."

You turned your attention back to your laptop, typing the report up as quickly as you could. You still felt his gaze burning holes in your back, but you didn't care, wanting to finish as soon as you could so you could crawl into his arms.

"There. I'm done." You closed your laptop, setting it on your nightstand before flopping down next to him. "Hey there, handsome. What're you thinking about?"

"You." He pulled you into him. "And second chances, I guess."

"What about them? You don't need second chances, Buck. You're doing great."

"I know, doll." His chest rumbled with a breathy laugh as his arm tightened around you. "I was thinking about you. I know it sounds cheesy, doll, but I swear, you're my second chance."

"Baby-" You didn't know what to say, instead choosing to press your lips against his. His hand flew to the back of your neck, tilting your head and coaxing your mouth open. You reciprocated with every ounce of love you had for him, which was already an unmeasurable amount.

"Love you, darlin'. So, so much," he murmured against your lips before capturing them in another sweet kiss.

"I love you too, Bucky. But I could really use a snack, so..." With that, you attempted to stand up, but he wouldn't let you, his iron grip keeping you in his arms.

"I'll call Steve, he can bring us something." He was already dialing the number before you could respond.

"You really like hugs, don't you?" You laughed, laying your head on his chest again anyway.

"Only yours," he hummed. "Hey, Steve, it's me. (Y/N) just finished that report and we're hungry, so bring us some snacks, would you?"

So it’s a bit shorter than my usual fics, but I hope you enjoy anyway!

PS: I found my writing notebook and I realized I forgot to add a couple lines I wrote specifically for this fic, so I added them now!