#im very angry at the moment

[isaacathom]

so to run down my may:

i caught the flu* and spent like 6 days being very sick

i had such an emotionally heart wrenching dnd session, while i was on the tail end of my flu, that i literally threw up about it

after getting fucked around by technical issues, i got assigned to fucking abysmal group for an assignment

said group have done sweet fuck all in the 1.5 weeks i have been in this group, while i have done an entire** figma prototype based on someone elses previous assessment AND done user testing

arranged to meet up with a group member during class, which he ended up not attending, and when i got kicked out of the room by the next class and went to use the restroom, he called me twice via teams because he couldnt fucking wait 5 minutes after making me wait 2 hrs

caught the flu* a second time

had a task submission declined for a missed step after the submission deadline, resulting in my resubmission being marked as 'time exceeded' despite having submitted the task A MONTH AGO initially

had another task submission declined because i needed to take into account written feedback, which i have not recieved

had my period arrive several days early and without any of my usually pretty consistent tells

my group assignment is due this friday and im the only one who has done anything substantive

im going. a little insane.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[spotsupstuff]

Pebbles hating on Sun? I'm here for it. I love your version of Suns so much because it just encapsulates all their flaws that people often ignore. Is this my Pebbles bias speaking? Yes absolutely. Nobody LETS Pebbles be angry towards Suns when he has every right to. They just let the anger be outweighed or completely ignored in the favor of Pebbles own screwups.

I want to see Pebbles come into his own, decide he has worth as a living person, and there is value in living. Then, as someone who values his OWN worth, realize that Suns was toxic. That their friendship and mentorship was toxic. Let him be angry and let him cut that out of his life so he can focus on righting his own wrongs (which Pebbles does canonically anyways).

Realistically, Sun's and Pebble's friendship would never be the same. Even if Pebbles forgave Suns, I can't see their relationship being anything but strained. Moon and Pebble's situation cannot be compared to this since Moon is A. extremely forgiving/patient and B. her collapse was an accident on Pebble's part. She was angry yes but chose to rekindle her relationship with Pebbles in the end.

Five Pebbles is a completely different person from Moon and has a right to handle his mentorship with Suns in HIS way. So yeah, I cannot see off the string Pebbles doing anything but trying to heal from what Suns did to him (while also dealing with his own guilt).

here's a treat cuz oh i Know you are here for this, every time my version of these two are mentioned you come runnin jgksdlmcklsdm

[skyheld]

"You can't blame yourself." from asharen to ameridan

ASKBOX MEME 059 / ARCANE S02E07-09 | selectively accepting | @mercysought

It's the second time he leaves a place where he was meant to die.

Stands up on shaking legs, brushes the dust of time off his clothes and picks through the remains of his old life for things he needs to keep. There isn't much left, now. He gave most things away when he joined clan Lavellan, to the few friends he has made in the last ten years, or to the clan itself. He had no need or interest then in riches or treasure. Only a few keepsakes.

Some people watch as he comes out of the aravel. The last few weeks as his strength waned he left is more and more rarely, and while many come to visit him, there are some faces he hasn't seen in all that time --- faces of those he was never close to, or who felt too uncomfortable to sit in a room with a dying person, seeing the way life left him a little bit more each week. When he steps out now with a small pack slung over his shoulder and the staff in his hand, he stands straighter than they've ever seen him. There's strength in his legs, carrying him down the landing, and in the hand that holds his staff. His eyes are unclouded, his lungs draw deep the air of the forest around them. But he doesn't look at those faces, even the ones he loved most dearly. He's afraid they'll turn away.

And anyway, how can he ask for them to look at him? How can he deserve a heartfelt farewell from these people when he failed them so utterly? They took him in so he would be safe, so he would know peace. He risked their lives, allowing a demon to possess him. He brought them war.

Thanks to that they live, but he isn't sure that matters.

"I do not blame myself", he tells Asharen as they meet below the aravel's deck. She sees through him, of course, sees the guilt clawing at him from the inside, but it isn't blame. "I did what I did to save them. Now I live with the consequences. I just wish... I wish there'd been another choice."

Hakkon looking out through his grey eyes, seeing the things he sees and adding his thoughts and emotions to Ameridan's mind, blurring them both. Hakkon coming to him that night when the clan was attacked, Hakkon's strength in his dying body, Hakkon tearing their enemies to shreds, laughing with Ameridan's voice but not his laugh, not his joy in the killing.

He wishes the others didn't have to see it. That they didn't have to look at him now and know that the one they called hahren and bestowed the name of their clan is an abomination. That his back is straight and his hands strong and that he stands in the sunlight again because something else is standing with him.

Ameridan Talvas Lavellan, he was for a while. But he cannot use that name anymore.

"We should be off", he says. A little further away, others are waiting for them to catch up. New faces, but they seem like good people. The one they call Rook has put together a capable group. Harding. He'll need to tell her too when they reach their sanctuary.

He's not sure if it's grief or shame that wells up and fill his eyes with tears, but he turns quickly, lowering his head to brush them away. He wanted to stay here. He didn't want to die, but he was ready to let it happen as he knew it would; he got the peace he always yearned for, and if it had to end, at least it would end in the best way possible. But now all that is different, and that peace is gone.

You are making this so much harder than it is. Hakkon has been quiet in his mind, and now that he speaks it sounds like mockery. And yet he is right in a way. Staying here, thinking about what he's walking away from makes the walking harder. He needs to just leave. Without another word he brushes past Asharen and joins the others, giving a single nod of his head when Rook asks if he's ready for the walk to the nearest eluvian, if those are all his things, is he is alright---

But before they've reached the edge of the camp, where signs of recent battle are still visible, blood drying brown in the grass where Hakkon's battleaxe tore throats and chests open, someone cries out behind them. A girl has escaped her parents' vigilant eyes and come running, calling his name.

Elirin. She's lost two front teeth since last he saw her. When he was strong enough to sit by the fire and tell stories, she'd ask for ones with Da'harel in them, then curl up with her head on his leg and pretend to be a very small wolf while he spoke. Now she wraps her arms around his legs and sobs into them until he manages to untangle himself from her grip so he can crouch down and hug her properly. Her parents wouldn't want him to. They'd worry about the demon. But he can't push her away, and he knows there is no danger.

She's holding a straw hat, like the ones the members of the clan make for themselves and to sell. At first he thinks she must have just been working on it when she saw him leave --- it's clearly her handiwork, childish and clumsy and therefor lovely --- but she presses it into his hands.

"Oh", he says, as his hands close round the brim. "Is it for me?"

She nods, her face set with determination.

There clearly is no fighting that. He would hurt her if he tried to decline. Blinking away more tears he takes the hat and puts it on --- it's a little large, probably not made for him to begin with, but it stays in place if he's careful. There are places where the straw sticks out and places where the woven pattern breaks. He loves it. One of the adult's perfectly crafted hats wouldn't have filled him with as much love as this one. "Thank you", he says, voice brittle. "That should keep me safe from the sun in Antiva."

Satisfied, Elirin turns to run back to her parents. Ameridan straightens up. The straw hat casts a shadow over his face until he turns back to the others, facing the sun.

Ameridan Talvas Lavellan. Maybe he keeps the name, at least for now.

"I'm ready", he says, and this time he feels it. "Let us go."

[clegfly]

Getting REAL sick and tired of how omori TikTok views sunny.

Like, they view any scene of him being emotionally vulnerable, affectionate, or even just making an expression outside of just being completely neutral as “mischaracterised”. He’s not some cool, stoic, unwavering badass, he is a traumatised teenager. Don’t cry whenever he dares to give his friend a hug or (god forbid) be SAD about something??? Isn’t like. Part of the point of his development about him allowing himself to break down the repressive walls he built when he shut himself in? And being able to rely on his real friends instead of imaginary versions? And isn’t the game like. Meant to SHOW that he still cares about them despite isolating himself?

It’s really stupid to get mad at a character like that showing emotion or affection personally, especially since he’s not used to expressing it properly after so long. But that’s just me

[sebbyisland]

akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)

[thepromisedbride]

i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.

[empyreasheart]

i usually dont comment on the discourse posts i see on this website but jesus christ. No one coddles men against the evilll trans women and lesbians like a tumblr user

[sheila--e]

sorry for not being able to stfu about beastars but im so excited for chapter 149 to get animated. i wanna see people cry and scream and suffer like i did when i read it

[iamnotlookingidonotseeit]

fascinating revelations out of my dad's professional coaching of the whole family today

my mom scored astonishingly high on empathy and caring for a woman who seemed to find it next to impossible to express that to me

my dad has done an insane amount of work to be so warm and personable considering that his natural inclination is towards strong reserve rooted in anxiety (just like me!!)

my sister shocked - SHOCKED 🙄 - to learn that she scores almost zero in empathy AND very high on manipulation

actually shocking reveal that my sister always knew she was my mom's favorite. like I kind of assumed she was mean to both of us but apparently most of the biting comments were for me

[aemiron-main]

started thinking about maedhros for 2 seconds too long and now i feel nauseous with sadness. where’s that post about making AMVs of books. because i need to do that desperately for him

[dirtytransmasc]

grieving with family is so complicated, cause sometimes, no matter how much I love them, I just... can't with them.

each person in my family keeps trying to force their way of grieving, their way of coping onto the people around them.

people keep telling me how I'm supposed to feel, how I'm supposed to react, and that's one thing, I can handle it.

but my aunt (my uncle who passed's wife) keeps having people tell her how she's supposed to move on, and it's driving me bonkers. they keep telling her that finding out more answers about his death is not gonna fix things, that it's gonna not gonna ease her pain, that she just... shouldn't.

and like. yeah. there's a point to be had. but as someone who lost someone very close to me (my papa) very similarly, like, please, please, *please* stop telling her how she's supposed to fucking feel. like. oh my fucking God.

I swear.

it's been a few days, let us grieve how we're gonna grieve for just a minute. wanting answers isn't unhealthy. processing real or imagined guilts and coming to terms with it and clearing it isn't unhealthy. letting people grieve for a minute how they're naturally grieving is so important.

there does come a point where certain forms of grief become unhealthy, but trying to force someone to grieve differently DAYS after the death occurred, is like... such a dick move in my mind, especially when it's just the natural progression of thought and emotion and everything.

I don't know if I make any sense, especially cause I'm trying to leave as much detail out as possible, I just need to vent all this anger and frustration out before I snap.

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

[sideblogdotjpeg]

naddpod episode fifty is soooo good you KNOW an episode hits when everyone is mad at murph for ending the session. it really has it all - the boobs getting hammered , gnome redemption arc, one big space bed SLEEPOVER TALK EDITION, balnor pisses in front of his unrequited crush, sloppy bisexual kisses, steampunk boat, hardwon teaching beverly to drive (<3!), bev having soo many EPIC dad moments AND a cliffhanger. AN EP FOR SURE. naddpod episode fifty my beloved!

[batz]

.

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

1 month ago today my exes mom died is it too soon to tell him I unfriended him and ignored his message because I kind of think he raped me