#im using her for my comic class
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donnyclaws · 1 year ago
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Covid iso & Early semester sketches where I played a lot of Okami 🦑
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ Site Kofi   Zines   Patreon  
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spacespore · 2 months ago
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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luridparty · 27 days ago
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FUCK!!!!!! WHY IS TALKING TO PEOPLE SO FUCKIGN HARD!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
urghuehrueguh weughh nono i know why thats the worst part. .. no mary lore but euuu wehhh wauughhh
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broke-on-books · 8 months ago
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😍😍😍
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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happyfunf3tti · 2 years ago
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just had a meetinh with my professor. she said that she rly liked my comic and wanted to use as an example for future classes
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daydreamingtomatos · 1 year ago
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im fairly proud of myself for never changing my url but also i'd like to think i could come up with something better than a 13 year old now
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stevie-petey · 7 months ago
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episode three: the case of the missing lifeguard
You glance at your door, worried your mom has heard Steve’s pathetic fall, while he clutches at his knee and groans. Through gasps of pain, he manages to respond, “Give me a second to recover my pride, Y/N.” “We need more than just a second to recover your pride.” You crawl out of bed and offer the boy your hand. “Get up, dummy.” He accepts the help and stands, brushing himself off. “Your bed is freakishly high.” “Have you ever considered that you’re just clumsy?” “I’m an athlete, angel.”
Summary: dustin blackmails you for $5 and then dubs steve as boyfriend material for you, robin cracks yet another russian code, you all almost waterboard yourselves after sneaking onto the mall's roof, you have a sexy nervous breakdown, and jonathan takes you for a drive in his sick car
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: swearing, use of y/n, fem!reader
Words: 7k
Before you swing in: hi my loves !! had a hectic final week of classes but im finally done !! (technically i have one more final but thats a later issue). this chapter is a lot of banter and chaos and theres some sad feelings towards the end that im a bit frightened to see the reactions to so ,,,, enjoy !
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When your alarm goes off for work, Steve accidentally kicks you off of your bed in his panic.
“Fuck!”
Your brain barely has time to process that you’re awake as you begin to fall. “What–”
Steve manages to catch you from face planting just in time, flinging you back onto the bed as he struggles to untangle himself from the blankets. “Fuck! Sorry!”
“What’s going on?” you rub your eyes and realize that the screeching sound next to you is your alarm. Slamming your hand against it, the cloud of sleep starts to lift from your brain and you realize why Steve is a storm of chaos right now. “Oh, fuck.”
The two of you accidentally fell asleep together last night. 
He never went home, he never snuck back out your window with a kiss farewell. 
Now, as you take in the situation you’re currently in, you can hear your mother making breakfast in the kitchen, blissfully unaware that there’s a boy in her daughter’s room.
“Yeah, fuck!” Steve shakes at his leg, which is somehow twisted within your bedding and prevents him from escaping. “Get me out!”
“Shit!” You quickly untwist the bedding and free him, but as he rolls off your bed, he misjudges the height and fails to catch himself. He lands with a horrifyingly loud thud, and you throw a pillow at him. “Will you shut up?”
You glance at your door, worried your mom has heard Steve’s pathetic fall, while he clutches at his knee and groans. Through gasps of pain, he manages to respond, “Give me a second to recover my pride, Y/N.”
“We need more than just a second to recover your pride.” You crawl out of bed and offer the boy your hand. “Get up, dummy.”
He accepts the help and stands, brushing himself off. “Your bed is freakishly high.”
“Have you ever considered that you’re just clumsy?”
“I’m an athlete, angel.”
You place your hands on his chest and gently shove him towards your window. “Well, if you’re such an athlete, then it should be no problem for you to hop through this window and get to work, Harrington.”
“At least pretend you’re sad to see me leave–”
Someone knocks on your door. “Y/N? You awake yet?”
Hearing Dustin’s voice, you and Steve exchange a horrified look before you’re shoving even harder at his chest to get him out of your room. “Go!”
Steve stumbles over his feet and makes as much sound as humanly possible. He knocks into your desk and sends a stack of comics falling and he almost slips on them, only narrowly catching himself. Frustrated and bewildered that he keeps falling, he exclaims, “Why does this keep happening?”
The knocking on your door stops. A beat of silence passes before Dustin hesitantly calls through the door, “... did I just hear Steve?”
“No!” You almost throw Steve out your window with the force you shove him, which he curses at and gives you a dirty look, though you ignore him. He’s the one who got you into this fantastically horrible mess in the first place. “I–uh. I stubbed my toe!”
You anxiously wait for Dustin’s response, mentally running through all possible explanations in your head, but after a few minutes pass and you don’t hear anything; you exhale with relief. Seemingly sensing that you’re in the clear, Steve breathes out as well. “That was close.”
“Ew!” Your brother’s screech could rival the Demodogs with how loud and terrifying it is.
Gulping, Steve looks at you and laughs nervously. “Whoops?”
You glare at him. “Get out.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He kisses your forehead and does as he’s told, crawling through your window. Thankfully he lands gracefully this time, and as he begins running towards his car parked down the street, he calls over his shoulder, “See you after your shift!”
Despite your annoyance, you can’t help but laugh as you watch him run away. It’s reminiscent of the boyish charm you saw a few years ago, back when you had almost hit his car with your bike and he had pretended not to know your name in order to get you to laugh. 
Your reminiscing is cut short by Dustin’s obnoxious groaning. “Oh, god. Why did it get quiet in there? Get off my sister!”
You march over towards your door and fling it open. Your brother stands there, a horrified look on his face, and you glance behind him to make sure your mom is still in the kitchen. When the coast is clear, you sneer at him, “Nothing happened!”
“I’m fourteen, not an idiot.”
“We didn’t do anything.” When Dustin snorts at you, disbelieving, you want to strangle the kid. You’re mortified and cannot fucking believe that your little brother thinks anything else happened between you and Steve. “I swear.”
“See, I’d believe you, but mom…” He shrugs with a smug look on his horrid face. “I don’t know, Y/N.”
You drop your head and sigh, knowing where this is going. “How much money do you want?”
“$5, please. I prefer exact change, too.” He extends his arm out and opens his hand, silently demanding the money. 
“You’re horrible, you know that?” You go into your dresser and pull out a five dollar bill before handing it to him. 
Clutching the cash, Dustin smirks. “You raised me well.”
“Get out of my room.”
Hearing the anger in your voice, your brother knows he has about five more seconds before you start throwing things at him. “Yes, ma’am.”
– 
Work is slow, as usual, and when it’s time to pick up Alex from the pool, you wish Mrs. Waters a good day and get into your mom’s car that you borrowed today. With fewer shifts at the bookshop, Alex has started working at the pool to make extra money; on days when he’s there before a shift at Bookstrordinary, it’s your job to drive him to work. 
It’s pouring as you drive to the pool, setting an eerie tone on the first day of July. The summer’s heat causes the thunder to shake your car, and your knuckles are white from how tightly you hold onto the steering wheel.
When you pull up and see Alex hunched over and drenched from the rain, you laugh at him. “Well, looks like someone’s shift ended at the right time,” you say as he quickly jumps into your car. 
Alex doesn’t return your good mood. “Not funny, Y/N.”
Sensing that there’s something more to his foul mood than just being rained on, you look over at him in concern as you begin to drive. “Is everything alright over there?”
“Billy and Heather never showed up for work, so we were short handed fending off dumb kids who wanted to swim with lightning.” Alex wrings out his t-shirt and shakes his hair to dispel excess water, and you cringe as some of the water droplets land on you. “Telling a bunch of scary twelve year olds that they can’t swim… I thought I would die.”
The genuine terror in his voice is amusing, though his words unnerve you. It’s not like Billy to just not show up for work. He’s a lot of things, mainly a dickhead, but the few times you’ve driven the party to the pool, he’s always been there working; he’s dedicated to discipline. Hell, you’ve been to Max’s house, you know her family isn’t the wealthiest.
Billy can’t afford to skip work. 
“They just… never showed up?”
“Nope,” Alex curls into him in a feeble attempt to warm himself up. “We all think they ditched to hookup.”
You think about how rough Billy had looked yesterday, with fresh blood still dripping from him and the feverish chills he seemed to have. Something hadn’t been right, and a knot forms in your stomach. You highly doubt he had ditched work to go hookup with Heather, not if he’s still in the state that he was in yesterday. 
Regardless of what he’s done to you, you hope he’s okay.
Something about this feels wrong.
“Yeah, probably.” Your voice is weak as you respond to your coworker, but he doesn’t seem to pick up on your now solemn mood. 
The rest of the car ride is spent with Alex gossiping about where Billy and Heather could be, so it’s a relief when you finally arrive at Bookstrordinary and he leaves your car. You sit in the parking lot for a few minutes, your stomach twists and the knots multiply. The rain patters softly against the windshield in an almost rhythmic pattern as you try to calm yourself down with deep breaths.
The only sound in the car is your own breathing accompanied by the raindrops. 
– 
It’s Dustin’s idea to spend the day looking for evil Russians. 
Steve isn’t sure where he got the binoculars, but at this point he’s learned that it’s best to not question the kid. Makes things easier.
Which leads to now: the two of them hunched behind fake plants at Starcourt sharing binoculars as they look for people who could fit the “evil Russian” description, all while ignoring the fact that Dustin caught Steve in your room. 
“I don’t know what an evil Russian looks like.” Steve is holding the binoculars up to his eyes as he scans the food court area. He has no clue what he’s looking for and he swears that Dustin is purposely staring him down to try and get him to confess about this morning.
“Tall, blond, not smiling.” The kid responds, knowing that Steve is trying to distract him with stupid questions. He’s squirming under Dustin’s gaze, which he gets a sick joy out of. Between the $5 you coughed up and Steve’s obvious distress, it’s a pretty good day for Dustin Henderson. “Anyways, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing.”
Steve continues to look through the binoculars, relieved that Dustin seems to be playing along and hasn’t hounded him about this morning. “Right, okay. Duffle bags.”
As Steve busies himself with the search, Dustin waits a few seconds to lull him into a false sense of security. He’s been waiting all day to do this. Clearing his throat, he prepares for the attack. “Hey, uh, Steve?”
“Yeah, little Henderson?”
“While you look for evil Russians, keep an eye out for idiots who traumatize their friends by sleeping with their sisters.”
Steve yanks the binoculars away from his face as if they’ve burned him. His eyes are wide and panicked as he turns to Dustin with a horrified look on his face. “That is not what happened!”
“Tell that to the traumatized kid.” The younger teen waves a hand over himself to emphasize his point. “You owe me like, at least five years of therapy.”
“I didn’t sleep with Y/N, dude! That’s–that’s gross–”
“Are you calling my sister gross?” Dustin crosses his arms now, daring Steve to go on. 
He groans and rubs his face. “That’s not what I meant, alright? I just… She’s your sister and–and we aren’t even together–”
“That’s a good point, actually.” Dustin snatches the binoculars out of Steve’s hand and starts to look for any signs of Russians. “Why aren’t you with my sister?”
Steve stares at him, dumbfounded. “You’re sending totally mixed signals, dude. Do you want me dating Y/N or not?”
“It’s not preferable, especially when I catch you sneaking out of her window like some skeezy douchebag–”
“How many times do I have to tell you nothing happened–”
“But, besides that,” Dustin shrugs, narrowing his eyes when he sees a possible blond teen who could fit the evil Russian description. “You’re not so bad, even though you’re a massive tool for not asking out the perfect girl right in front of you.”
Steve rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, entirely over this conversation. “You sound like Robin.”
The blond teen Dustin had been eying sits down and starts eating a hot dog, so he concludes that he isn’t Russian if he has an affinity for American food. “And Robin would be correct. Just ask Y/N out, she’s been waiting for like, at least a year now.”
“It’s not that easy.” Steve slumps over and bangs his head against the plant display they’re leaning against. “I have no idea how to ask her to be my girlfriend.”
“What, do you need my blessing or some shit?” Dustin removes the binoculars from his face and looks at the older teen, making sure to catch his eye. Then, in a horrible British accent, he says, “I give thy my blessing.”
“Thanks, buddy.” Steve deadpans, shoving the kid’s face away from his, uncomfortable with the eye contact. “But your blessing isn’t the problem. Y/N is just–she’s different and has been through a fuck ton of shit that I can’t even comprehend, and I’m just supposed to believe she wants to be with me?”
“Yeah?” Dustin cocks his head at Steve, not all understanding why he’s so confused about this. “You literally slept in her bed last night, man.”
Steve releases a quick breath and scratches his nose. He feels like an idiot and just really wishes you were here right now. “I… Well, yeah. Then there’s that.”
“It astounds me that you were once known as King Steve with a million girls drooling over him.” Dustin mumbles, baffled by the other’s patheticness, before going back to looking for Russians. 
“Let’s remember that it was my advice that got you that girlfriend of yours, alright? Girls love me, that’s never been the issue, ” Steve flicks the kid’s nose, a habit he’s picked up from you. “So cool it with the arrogance, dipshit.”
“Steve, do I need to remind you that it’s not okay to call my brother a dipshit?”
Your sudden appearance causes Steve to clutch his chest and scream. He spins around and gasps, terrified of how much you may have heard from his conversation with Dustin. “Y/N! Y-you’re here!”
“I am…” You frown, unsure why he looks so scared; normally he’s excited when you surprise him at work. 
“Uh,” Steve clears his throat and straightens his shirt out, trying to come off as collected rather than five seconds away from losing his shit. “I, uh. How much did you hear, ya know. Standing there?”
“Not much…?” Truthfully you’d been lost in thought, still worrying about Billy as you had approached the two teens hiding behind the fake plants. “All I heard was you calling my brother a dipshit.”
Steve deflates, and his reaction only confuses you further. Clearing his throat once more, he nods. “Oh. Yeah.”
You look over at Dustin, hoping for some type of clue as to what the fuck is wrong with Steve right now. “Did I miss something?”
“He was giving me horrible dating advice. Can we get back to looking for evil Russians?”
“Dating advice, huh?” You raise your eyebrows at Steve, who blushes furiously, and you giggle at his misery before turning back to Dustin. You eye the binoculars in his hand and point a finger at them. “And you can’t seriously think you’ll find evil Russians this way, right?���
“You got any better ideas, Y/N?” Your brother snarks as he brings the binoculars back up to his eyes. 
You nudge him with your shoulder. “No, but I’m positive I can think of something less childish than whatever this is.”
“Just help us look for someone tall and blond with duffel bags.” Steve sighs.
“Oh, because duffel bags are so scary and Russian.” You roll your eyes at the boys, ashamed of their antics. Their logic is flawed and biased with so many gaping holes, it’s almost comical, but it’s enough to distract you from your anxiety from earlier. “Guys, why can’t we just go back to Scoops and figure out another way–”
“Target acquired.” Dustin suddenly interrupts you. 
You share a look with Steve, who leans closer to the kid. “Where?”
“Ten o’clock. Sam Goody’s.”
Steve snatches the binoculars from Dustin’s hands and takes a look for himself, which you scoff at. They’re being ridiculous right now. However, when the older teen exhales in disbelief and announces the person has a duffel bag, your curiosity gets the better of you.
“Hand it over, pretty boy.” Before he can argue, you’ve snatched the binoculars from Steve and bring them up to your own eyes. It takes a few moments for you to find what the boys had been looking at, but when you finally spot the tall, blond man dressed in all black with sunglasses and a duffel bag, you can’t help but admit that he looks suspicious. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
Steve and Dustin turn to each other and say in unison. “Evil Russian.”
The three of you chase after the guy, weaving between the crowd of people at the mall as you trail him. You and Dustin side step a woman with her kid as Steve speeds ahead of you guys. Struggling to keep up, your brother berates Steve to slow down. 
“We’re losin’ him.” He responds, only speeding up even more. 
“You’re getting too close.” Dustin warns, and you almost trip over your shoelaces in your haste. He’s right, Steve is getting too close to the guy, and it’s making you nervous.
You quicken your footsteps and tug at his uniform. “Steve, we need to be careful–”
Suddenly the Russian looking guy stops in his tracks and slowly begins to turn around. You all scramble and try to appear casual; Dustin runs to the phone and pretends to make a call while Steve pulls you to the corner and places his hands on your waist to pull you close. 
“Pretend we’re a couple!” He whispers, throwing your hands over his shoulders. 
“This is wholly unnecessary,” you mumble, face burning at the close proximity. His fingers burn your sides, it’s been too long since he’s held you like this. 
Steve chuckles at you and pulls you in closer, enjoying the moment far more than you think is needed. “Gotta admit, this is pretty romantic.”
You roll your eyes. “Totally. Super hot hunting down evil Russian spies with you, Steve.”
“Stop sucking face, the guy is getting away!” Dustin yanks at you and tears you from Steve’s grasp, disturbed and annoyed that it only took three seconds before you distracted the teen. 
Soon you’re all following the blond guy again, and when he starts to slow down, the three of you hide behind a column and poke your heads out. Watching, you see the guy enter into the Jazzercise studio and pull a speaker from his duffel bag. 
“Oh, this is much better than him being a Russian spy.” You snort, entirely amused by how this has all unfolded. The guy unzips his hoodie and reveals an incredibly muscular physique, and you can’t help but bite your lip. “His arms… Oh my.”
Steve sees you eyeing the guy and scrowls. “His arms aren’t that nice. “ He starts pulling you away now, sending death glares at the now confirmed zumba instructor, obviously jealous. You laugh, knowing your comment would annoy him. 
“I don’t know, honey. His arms were huge.”
“Please,” Steve rolls his eyes, unamused. “They looked like twigs to me.”
“You and I both know you’re lying.”
Steve groans and kisses your hand as he tugs you towards Scoops Ahoy. “You’re killing me here, angel.”
“It’s what I do best.”
While you and Steve argue, Dustin gags at you both and sighs in disappointment. He listens to you two argue the whole way back to the ice cream shop, and he’s never wanted to bang his head against a wall more. Here Steve is, claiming he can’t ask you out, yet he’s pathetically moping about you finding some random guy’s arms hot.
Dustin thinks the poor guy is doomed. 
When you arrive at Scoops, you break away from Steve’s whining and greet Robin. “Dude, you won’t believe the hot zumba instructor we followed–”
The girl rushes past you, not at all acknowledging your presence, as she exits the shop. You stop walking and share a confused look with Dustin and Steve as you all watch Robin run outside and jump on top of one of the benches. 
“What the hell?” You follow after her, concerned by her franticness. 
Robin is mumbling under her breath when you catch up, repeating the first sentence of the Russian code you deciphered over and over again as she spins and looks around the mall. “A trip to China sounds nice.”
“Hey, is everything okay?”
“A trip to China…” She ignores you as her eyes scan around the area once more. She looks as if she’s searching for something, repeating the phrase to herself.
You look around as well, not fully understanding what she’s doing, but it’s clear she’s at least looking for something to match the sentence. In the center of the food court, all you see are chain restaurants and vendors. Frustrated, you sigh. “Robin, I’m not sure what we’re looking for.”
“There!” She points at a restaurant called the Imperial Panda. “A trip to China!”
Bits of the code start to piece together in your head. If the message corresponds to stores in the mall… Unsure if you’re understanding Robin correctly, you hesitantly point towards the local shoe store up above. “If you tread lightly?”
“Yes! God, I knew you were the smart one in that weird trio!” Robin nods eagerly and tries to recall the rest. “When–when blue and yellow meet in the west. What could that mean?”
You both spin around, trying to find anything that could align with the line. As you’re studying a poster sign, Robin snaps her fingers and nods her head towards the giant clock that hangs below a bay window. Its hands are blue and yellow. “Think this could be it?”
“Robin Buckley, you’re a genius!” You throw your arms around her, in disbelief that she was able to figure the bizarre Russian code out all on her own. 
Robin is stiff in your arms for a moment, having not expected the praise, before she slowly melts into the embrace. She coughs slightly, her voice a pitch higher than usual. “It was easy enough to figure out.” 
“Robin, Y/N,” Steve and Dustin now join. “What are you two doing?”
“She cracked it!” You pull away from Robin but keep an arm thrown over her shoulder. 
Steve frowns. “Cracked what?”
Robin gently shoves your arm off and jumps down the bench she had been on. Stepping towards the boys, she leans in close, a glint in her eye. “I cracked the code.” 
“Is this even legal?” You shout over the thunder, shivering as the rain from the storm soaks through your clothes and into your bones as you sit with Steve and the others on the mall’s rooftop to spy on Russians.
You’re not at all sure how you ended up in this situation. 
When Robin had cracked the code, you figured that the four of you would ask the other mall employees about their delivery shifts. Maybe hide out in Steve’s car and watch for deliveries during the day, eliminate other variables. 
What you didn’t think the four of you would do, however, is sneak onto the roof of the mall in the pouring rain for an impromptu stakeout. 
Thunder rumbles above you as lightning strikes, causing you to jump further into Steve’s side. He wraps an arm around you and rubs soothing circles to try and comfort you, knowing that this entire situation is your nightmare.
Seeing your fear, Robin tries to reassure you. “We’re fine, Y/N.” Then she turns to Dustin, who is holding his stupid binoculars up as he surveys the group of delivery men below you. “Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes.”
Your brother takes a moment to look around before he spots something. “They’re with that whistling guy, ten o'clock.”
You look down and watch the guy cart a series of boxes into the shipment alleyway. “It’s just a bunch of boxes, guys.”
“Sure, but what do you think’s in there?” Steve questions, absentmindedly drawing you closer for warmth when he feels you shiver again. He loaned you his raincoat, but clearly it doesn’t seem to be helping much with how much he can feel you shiver. A twinge of guilt sears through him for putting you through this in the first place.
“Guns, bombs?” Dustin guesses.
Robin throws in her own suggestions. “Chemical weapons?” 
“How about delicious noodles and sensible shoes? Why haven’t we considered those as options?” Your teeth are chattering now as more rain slams against you.
“Shut up, Y/N.” Dustin raises his binoculars up again. “Whatever it is, they’re armed to the teeth.”
“Armed?” You exclaim as more thunder clashes. Your switchblade warms in your pocket ominously; you didn’t sign up for men wielding fucking weapons. 
“Great.” Steve wipes water out of his face, feeling just as overwhelmed and defeated as you. “That’s great.”
The metal doors in the alleyway start to open, and faintly you can see the outline of more boxes within the storage room, it looks almost like a vault, though it’s hard to tell. Next to you, Robin squints as well. “What’s in there?”
“It’s just more boxes.” Dustin has to raise his voice in order to be heard over the rain.
Steve reaches for the binoculars. “Let me beck it out.”
However, he only ends up in an intense game of tug-of-war with Dustin as they start to fight over the binoculars. They grapple over it, argue about who needs it more, before the rain causes the thing they’re fighting over to slip out of their hands and bang harshly against the guardrail. 
The noise rings out through the night and catches the men’s attention from below. Gasping, you yank everyone down before they can see you. Instinctively your hand reaches for Steve’s while Robin reaches for your other hand. With your backs to the ground, the four of you pant as the adrenaline of almost being caught courses through you. 
Steve looks over at you to make sure you’re okay, and his eyes land on Robin’s fingers intertwined through yours. He frowns a bit, finding the physical affection from her odd, but sends her teasing wink.
When Robin sees his wink, she only clenches her jaw and turns away before releasing your hand. 
– 
“Well, I think we found your Russians.” Robin says as you all re-enter the mall.
“That was too close.” You mutter, wringing out your soaked t-shirt as your hair drips onto the floor. While the others seem to have already forgotten how the men with giant guns almost found you on the roof, you haven’t. It’s been on your mind the last ten minutes; it’s all you can fucking think about. 
You’re in too deep again. You can feel it. 
Dustin passes you and now walks in step with Robin. “What’s our plan now?” 
“Well, strange child, I think it’s obvious that we gotta break into the vault.”
“I’m sorry?” You step in between them now, not at all liking what you’re hearing. “No one is breaking into anything. Do you have any idea how dangerous and stupid that is?”
“C’mon, Y/N, loosen up a little!” Dustin whines, wanting you to just be on his side for once. 
“Loosen up? Guys, this is serious.” You look around at the others, lacing your voice with urgence. “We could be dealing with a national crisis, this isn’t just some stupid spy mission. We aren’t at all qualified to handle this.”
“I mean, aren’t we?” Steve hesitantly speaks up. When your angry eyes meet his, he flinches slightly. “Y/N, I know you’re scared, but–”
“I’m not scared.”
“We’ve been through… a lot,” his eyes flick over towards Robin, knowing she’s listening and that he can’t reveal too much. “All we’re doing is breaking into a vault. I mean, c’mon. We can do that, easily.”
Dustin nods eagerly at Steve’s words and Robin hums in approval. The three of them seem to almost form a unit against you, which makes you draw into yourself. Suddenly you feel like the odd man out, with no one on your side. Feeling panicked and defensive, your anger rises. “We shouldn’t have to break into anything! We can call Hopper, tell him what’s happening and at least have someone else on our side in case something happens.”
“Oh, like Hopper would believe us.” Dustin scoffs at you as if you’re some idiot, which doesn’t help the insecurity you feel.
“I know he’d listen to me.” You still regret having not called Hopper two years ago when you had found El in the woods. Had you told him about her sooner, about everything sooner, you know that you would’ve saved your brother and everyone else the heartache they endured because of you. 
You can’t make the same mistake again. You refuse to. 
Robin tries to appease you. “Look, we can just take a peek inside the vault, maybe dig through a box or two, then we can rat the Russians out to the cops! I promise, we won’t be doing anything dangerous.”
“We don’t know that.” 
Your words ring throughout the empty hallway the four of you stand in. An echo follows them, as if taunting you of your fears and worries, and no one says anything else. You all stand there, frozen, with Robin, Steve, and Dustin facing you. As if there’s a line now dividing them from you.
Steve’s heart pounds in his chest as your eyes land on him, silently pleading with him to say something, anything. “Y/N…”
But he can’t. Even though he heard the rising anxiety in your voice, even though he knows the weight behind the words you’ve yelled, Steve can’t meet your eye.
He knows that you carry so much guilt within you, and he wishes he could offer you more. He’s torn between wanting to defend you and ease the fear that you’ve confessed to him before, how you feel this overwhelming need to protect the ones you love, but he also wants to follow through with the Russians. To see where it takes him, if he can redeem himself. 
You stand before the three others, chest rising and falling rapidly, wondering if you’ve gone too far this time. 
Dustin is the one who steps forward first. He stares at you for a moment, his eyes sad, knowing that there’s more to your reluctance than just the possible danger. He understands how hard you fight to keep him safe, and how much harder you blame yourself when something goes wrong. With a sigh, your brother grabs your hand and starts to pull you away from the others.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Dustin says to Steve and Robin. Then, with an uncharacteristically gentle voice, he says to you, “let’s go home.”
You’re too tired to argue and you’re afraid you’ll start crying if you try to say anything else, so you follow after your brother and leave Steve and Robin alone in the hall.
– 
At home, you lay in bed trying to ignore the twisting feeling in your stomach that you’ve let everyone down. That you’ve let Steve down. You’ve never really argued with him before, at least not like this. You’re not even sure if you can call what happened earlier an argument, and the thought makes you groan and shove your face into your pillows.
You’re exhausted. 
As your thoughts spiral, your phone rings. 
“Hello?”
“Hey, bug.”
Jonathan’s voice settles over you in slow, soothing waves. You close your eyes, having not known how much you needed him until now. “Hi, bee.”
“You sound tired.” He notes with slight worry, always able to read you.
You sigh. “It’s… been a long day.” 
He hums over the phone, and the sound is familiar and lovely, though just as tired. “You too, huh?”
“I take it you’re not doing too well, either?”
“No,” he sighs, a slight gruffness to it. “Meet me in your driveway in ten minutes?”
“Deal.” 
He hangs up and you crawl out of bed, despite your aching bones protesting. You throw on a hoodie knowing to ward off July’s brisk night air and lazily lace up your sneakers. Slowly, so as to not make any loud noise, you open your door and poke your head out. 
The house is quiet. Your mom and Dustin must be asleep in their rooms, so you softly close your door and make your way outside. 
It doesn’t take long before Jonathan’s car pulls into your driveway. He has his headlights off, long familiar with the routine of picking you up late at night for drives around town. The two of you used to do it every night the summer he first got his license. 
You get into the car and the heat kisses your cheeks. Jonathan greets you with a tired smile as you put your seatbelt on, and when you nod your head at him, he starts the car and drives.
Neither of you say anything for a while as Jonathan drives the route you always take together. He has an old mix tape playing and you hum along, familiar with the songs. It’s peaceful, your fears from earlier have now faded; for now, it’s just you and Jonathan as you drive around Hawkins. 
“I’m sorry for being M.I.A recently.” He finally says after a while. You sit up a bit, knowing he’s ready now to talk about what’s brought him here tonight. The two of you never just drive around anymore for the fun of it, you know he’s here because there’s something bothering him. “Nancy has been… worrying me.”
You lean closer to Jonathan, now concerned. “Is everything okay between you two?”
“Honestly?” He breathes in shakily. “I–I don’t know.”
“Talk to me, bee.” You grab his hand that rests on the stick shift.
And he does. He explains about a woman named Mrs. Driscoll who called the Hawkins Post and how Nancy had decided to check out the story without telling their boss, roping Jonathan into it. He explains the rat they saw at the woman’s house, how it had looked sick, maybe infected with rabies, and how he had taken pictures of it to show their boss. 
When Nancy showed the men at the newspaper what they found, they had all laughed and belittled her. 
As Jonathan tells the story, he shakes his head in anger. “They were horrible to her, bug.”
You sigh, feeling awful for Nancy as well. “She’s smarter than all those men combined. She deserves better.”
“She does,” Jonathan shakes his head again. “But Tom, our boss, ordered her to drop the story. But Nancy…”
“Refuses to back down?” You guess, knowing how stubborn and passionate the girl is.
Jonathan swallows. “Yeah.”
“What happened tonight, Jonathan?” You sense there’s something he isn’t telling you, that there’s more to this than just men being shitty to Nancy at work.
“Nance, she–uh. She wouldn’t back down, even after I told her I was scared we’d get fired if we kept investigating Mrs. Driscoll, but she–she needed to prove she was right and I just–I can never tell her no. She’s relentless, ambitious, it’s what I love about her, but… Y/N, we found Mrs. Driscoll eating fertilizer after breaking into her house.”
“Oh my god,” you gasp and drop Jonathan’s hand. “Is she okay? What happened?”
“I don’t know.” Jonathan clenches his jaw. “We called for help and they took her to the hospital. When I dropped Nancy off at home, she… She wants to go visit the woman in the hospital.”
You’re silent for a moment, now understanding why Jonathan seems so shaken up. “Nancy still wants her story.”
“She does.”
“And you think she’s going too far.”
“I do.”
You sigh. “Jonathan…”
“I don’t know what to do, Y/N!” He raises his voice now, his anger surfacing. “I mean, we could get fired and she doesn’t seem to care! When Tom finds out that we’re the ones who put Mrs. Driscoll in the hospital… I–I can’t lose this job, bug. I can’t. Especially not because of some douchebags my girlfriend wants to prove wrong.”
As Jonathan unravels, your heart aches for both him and Nancy. It’s a tough situation, you understand both sides, and you can’t imagine having to go through any of it. 
Sighing, you grab his hand again and try to find the right words. “You have every right to feel scared, bee. I completely understand, this job means so much more to you than just some summer activity like it does for Nancy, but…” You bite your lip, worried you’ll say the wrong thing. “I also think Nancy’s ambition is admirable. From the stories she’s told me, those men are fucking vile and treat her like shit. I think you should try being more supportive of her.”
“How am I supposed to be supportive if I lose my job?”
You sigh again. “By holding her hand and recognizing that while it’s hard being poor in this world, it’s also hard being a woman. Both of you have a reason to be upset, and while I’m not saying it’s fair of Nancy to disregard your financial situation, I think you both need to sit down and talk about this without the other getting defensive.”
Jonathan rolls his eyes. “Neither one of us gets defensive.”
“You two are the most defensive and prideful people I’ve ever met, it’s a miracle you haven’t fought until now.”
He laughs at this, knowing you’re right. “Maybe another conversation wouldn’t hurt… I just, what’s going to happen tomorrow?”
You shrug. “I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that you’ll need Nancy just as much as she’ll need you, okay?”
“It frustrates me how you always manage to say the right thing.”
“You’ve known me for years now, it’s your fault for not getting used to it.” 
Jonathan laughs again and his shoulders relax, his anger and fear now dissipating. While he’s still unsure what tomorrow will bring, he knows that at least he’ll have you. Then the two of you drive past Steve’s house and Jonathan remembers how tired you sounded earlier on the phone.
“So, we gonna talk about why you had such a long day today?” Though it’s phrased as a question, you know that Jonathan understands if you don’t want to answer.
However, your own fears weigh heavily on your mind and you indulge him, because you always do. “Dustin intercepted a Russian code a few days ago and roped Steve, Robin, and I into helping him decipher it.”
“A Russian code?”
“Yeah. Not sure if I can explain it any better than that, honestly.”
Jonathan raises his eyebrows at you. “Is it anything dangerous?”
“I don’t know,” you groan, dropping your head into your knees. “That’s the million dollar question right now. Dustin and everyone else wants to keep investigating this, they want to break into a goddamn vault, and I just… I have a bad feeling about this, bee.”
“What does Steve think about all of this?” His voice is light, but his hands tighten ever so slightly on the steering wheel. You see this and look away, knowing he won’t like what you’re about to say.
“He’s why I sounded so tired earlier,” you confess, eyes closed. “He wouldn’t listen to me tonight, and I just–”
You stop mid sentence, your words catching in your throat. Jonathan looks over at you with concern and makes a quick decision to pull to the side of the road and park. “Hey, bug. Look at me.” Swallowing back tears, you do as you’re told. When your eyes meet his, Jonathan brings your hand to his lips. “Talk to me.”
“I’m terrified he’ll be another ‘almost.”
Jonathan’s lips ghost over your hands and you feel his breath stutter slightly at your words. He knows the pain that comes with “almost”, he knows he’s the reason why the word stings your tongue as you say it out loud. “He’s not another ‘almost’, Y/N.”
“I don’t know anymore.” Tears start to fall down your face and you’re mortified. You hate the words coming out of your mouth, they feel like a betrayal to Steve and the promise you made him, and you hate that you’re saying all this to Jonathan. “He–he seems interested, sometimes, but it’s July now and–and he hasn’t… He couldn’t even look me in the eye tonight, Jonathan.”
Jonathan doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything. 
You’re crying in his passenger seat over a boy you love, a boy who isn’t him, and all Jonathan can do is hold your hands as you cry. 
“I’m sorry, bug.” He apologizes for more than just your upset over Steve. Jonathan apologizes for it all, for the years between you two, for the almosts and what if’s and missed chances.
“Yeah. I am, too.” You wipe your eyes, embarrassed now. “Can you, uh, take me home, please?”
Jonathan nods and wordlessly starts the car again.
It feels like last year, back to being unsure about love and relationships and being exhausted by it all, and you can’t help but laugh at the irony of it. The small laugh turns into a louder one, then into full body hysterics, and Jonathan worries for a second that you’ve lost your mind. “Y/N, you’re scaring me a little.”
You clutch at your stomach and laugh even harder. “S-sorry, I just–oh my god. I can’t believe I–I’m here again.”
“I’m lost.”
“Just drive, bee.” You try to calm yourself down, though giggles still rise through your chest. You think you’re delirious, honestly. 
Yet some things never change, and it feels good to be in Jonathan’s car and breathless from laughter, even if your heart aches as you do so. 
-
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stxrvel · 3 months ago
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intrusive (4)
series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. THIS IS EDITED!! there are new scenes!! 16/9. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! sadness, lots of mixed feelings, self-hatred, flashbacks, flashbacks. a/n. hi guysssssssssss. its been a while, i know and im so sorry. i hope this chapter doesn't feel too rushed. truth be told, between life issues and that i've been having trouble with inspiration for scenes it took me a while to build this, but surprisingly i'm pleased with the result. now, where do you think we're going and what will we do from here on out?????? surprises come, surprises go. thank you all for your continued support!! i really appreciate the feedback from all of you and reading your comments makes my days. for those who are still here, thank you. see you next time!
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There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments that kept your hair standing on end every so often or every time you remembered. They were like gaps, things you didn't know how they had gotten there, how they had happened, or how someone else knew. And you were accumulating them, suspicious, somewhat delusional and paranoid if you asked anyone, but they were held in that space in the back of your head waiting for the right moment to come out.
Between moments of lucidity and memories of the past, there were many things you had superficially let slip by.
Yuna was in front of you, her brow furrowed in concentration and her eyes almost square from the amount of time she had already spent in front of the computer. You had been at it all day, so the moment your friend appeared like it was her own living room and everyone acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary, you just plopped down on the couch with a calm expression, waiting for the perfect moment to let certain things out, to ask certain questions.
There were moments of enlightenment, there were moments of brilliant discoveries. And that day you had discovered something you had forgotten because of the brevity of its recognition, but in retrospect it was something worth knowing, even if there were still too many things, more important things, of which you were ignorant. At that moment, all gathered in the living room of your parents' house, the most important thing was what was on your mind.
“Yuna.”
Your friend barely shook her head in acknowledgement of her name. Your parents were arranging the table in the middle of the couches to settle lunch, surely a big feast like every other day for the past few days and the only reason Seojun took virtual classes that day, and your brother was ogling the dishes with his mouth ajar. Eugh.
But none of them were paying too much attention. Food, social media, ordering, direct messaging, arranging the geometrically correct dishes… everyone had their heads in their own world, and that's why you could hear the moment your father's hair touched the ground when you asked:
“You were the one who set up my book booth at the last convention?”
Four pairs of eyes bore into you.
“What?”
You looked at her expectantly, not letting the mischief interfere with your plans.
“No…! I didn't-I mean, what are you talking about?”
Yuna let out a nervous laugh, just after correcting herself when she got a blunt look from your mother. Your father stood stiffly behind his wife, the frying pan in his hands wobbling so clearly that a few drops of the soup dripped onto the wood of the floor. Your mother leaned over, leaving the plate she was carrying on the table, sending Seojun a look that caused him to swallow his saliva sonorously.
The scene was so comical that you really had a hard time not bursting out laughing.
“It's just that when I talked to Sol this morning she commented something…”
You let the words hover in the air, straining them each time it came to one of them. Yuna straightened up, completely forgetting about the computer for a second, peeling her back off the couch where she was leaning on the floor. Your father snorted in surprise so hard that he was attacked by a cough and your mother had to take the frying pan away from him before he watered down all the soup from all the shaking. Seojun hid behind your mother's legs and you just plopped down on the couch, stretching your legs over the armrest, satisfied with their reactions.
“And what did she say to you, honey?”
Your mother was the most composed, finishing arranging the dishes around the pan while your father had run out to the living room for a glass of water. Among the foursome, your mother was the only one who truly knew what dissimulation meant. You had no doubt that her sisterhood with the others in the room would end once you told them you already knew everything.
“She told me she was afraid I hadn't been able to see what you had done for me,” you frowned looking up at the ceiling, looking genuinely confused. “And it was weird, because we were talking about the last convention.”
Yuna let out a laugh, incredulous.
“And why would you be talking about that with Sol?”
Putting the antics aside, you stood up on your forearms and glared at her.
“Why did you do that?”
“What did I do?”
“Sol told me it was your idea.”
“That's not true!”
“Ah…” you held a hand to your forehead, as if you had just remembered something important. Your gaze swept around the room and Seojun cringed when your eyes landed on him. “True. She said it had been your idea.”
Before Yuna could send a warning glance at your brother, Seojun raised his hand and pointed at your friend, exclaiming:
“It was her idea! It was all Yuna's idea! Tell her mom!”
The two aforementioned closed their eyes, taking a deep breath and bringing their fingers to the bridge of their noses. Their expressions of ennui were unmatched and promptly Seojun was cringing for a completely different reason.
“You're such a jerk,” Yuna mumbled, almost barking in the direction of the poor man seeking to escape his mother's lethal gaze. Instantly, your friend turned her gaze in your direction, meeting that amused look that curled her annoyance just for a millisecond. “I thought you'd be more upset.”
“I was,” you lifted a shoulder, leaning back against the back of the couch as you listened to the string of scoldings your mom was in between yelling and whispering to your brother. “But it's impossible not to see reason when you're talking to someone like Sol.
Yuna also nodded in consideration. It was something that, not just the two of you, but all of Sol's workers agreed with. Sol had a warmth about her, a homely feel to her that made you automatically trust her and take it for granted that, if she told you everything would work out, it was because it would; whether it was by chance of the universe or because she would see to it that it did.
“Then it was a good thing you heard it from her mouth and not your inept brother's,” Yuna sent her another withering glare and you couldn't help the smile that twitched your corners as you watched your mother move the bowl of tteokbokki away from her grasp. It was so funny to see that he didn't always get the baby of the house treatment for a change.
“Were you planning on taking that to your grave?”
Yuna turned, arching her eyebrows. With her lips set in a thin line, you knew she was thinking about choosing the right words to answer you, even though that thing they'd done had led directly to the fact that, at that moment, you'd been able to afford the luxury of asking for vacation for the first time and focusing on what you truly loved to do. Even if they had worked behind your back, the result had not been so fatal.
If you took a few unwanted people out of the equation, that is.
Your friend finally softened her gaze.
“No, I knew you'd find out at some point. From whoever's mouth. A secret can only be kept from so many people.” Yuna rolled her eyes, moving to listen to your father complain from the kitchen. “But I didn't think Sol would tell you so openly. Was it on purpose?”
“Yes. I think she was trying to convince me or make up for something. I'm not sure which.”
Yuna raised her eyebrows, cocking her head in tension for barely a second. If not for the years you'd known her, you probably would've interpreted her short-lived reaction as genuine curiosity, the desire for a tidbit of gossip. But your friend's tension was palpable and it was something that left you wondering a bit, especially when she didn't speak until your father returned to the kitchen.
“Honey, I think I'm going to get a sore throat.”
There were too many loose ends to tie up. There were too many empty spaces, too many misunderstood moments. There were too many things you were still ignorant of and had no idea about; things far beyond what was happening in the present.
There were things you still didn't understand, like why and how Jeon Jungkook, the country's most famous idol and probably one of the celebrities most likely to have easiest facial recognition on the street, had so stealthily stumbled upon your whereabouts or why he had acted as if seeing you again was a reunion with his lost puppy from years ago.
“Are you still upset, noona?”
Seojun watched you warily, your sidelong glance leading him to cower once more behind your father. With lunch settled and the tension gone (barely), you all had been able to enjoy an enjoyable moment. After all, the dense atmosphere that still lingered was only due to the fact that teasing Seojun was fun and more satisfying when you had no reason to do so.
It all came from a great consideration that your family, and even Sol, had for you, trying to support you however they could, even if you didn't even seek their help. As much as you wanted to (and didn't really want to) there wasn't much reason to get angry. Less so when the outcome, likewise, had been favorable.
“We should focus on what's important,” Yuna dipped her spoon into the almost non-existent conversation, finishing her meal and leaving the plate practically glistening, to which your mother was able to sketch a satisfied smile. “We have a meeting this afternoon.”
“Ah. Yes,” Seojun nodded, remembering his place as the second-in-command of the business, because you had actually been relieved of any position you might have held in your own business. “As the person in charge of the treasury of this company, I must admit that the decision made is the most appropriate and in our best interests.”
Yuna narrowed her eyes, seeming it was almost impossible for her to ignore your brother's annoying presence.
“What have you contributed to this business to call yourself the person in charge of the treasury?”
“I've done a lot for this project! Besides, you are focused on advertising. You should be in charge of the public relations department.”
“And I can't handle both?!”
“I set up all the lines of communication with the delivery people and organized the accounts with Dad!” Seojun pulled Dad's shirt collar, pulling him close to his face with a frown. Your dad only let him be, as he savored a wing. “You took charge of net with mom. We can't reverse charges now. Experience and reality speak for themselves.”
Yuna clicked her tongue, irritated.
“Whatever,” shaking her head, she flipped the computer on the table so Seojun and your parents could get a good look at the proposal you had accepted, after arduous study over the weekend as a family. “After a long board meeting, which stretched over the entire weekend, this was the accepted offer.”
You could almost see the zeros running in your brother's eyes, with a budding smile making its way across his face. Your parents looked pleased, proud. And Yuna kept that determined expression; she was really taking all this seriously and you didn't know yet how you could thank her for it.
“Ah…” your mother sighed, holding a hand to her chest. “It's finally happening.”
When she sent you that look with the sparkling eyes you couldn't help but shrink back on your spot on the floor.
“Mom, I think it's best we avoid getting too excited until we've signed.”
Your mother nodded, closing her eyes and breathing to keep her composure.
“Accepted the offer, we were summoned to their facility, which is where we will be heading after resting from this delicious lunch.” Yuna smiled radiantly in your mother's direction. Sometimes you wondered if she wasn't missed at home. But… no, she was much better off here.
“My children have to rest very well to make the best decisions at that meeting,” your mother nodded, stroking Yuna's hair superficially and getting up to pick up the dishes. Seojun got up to help her, but your father stopped him, keeping the warm smile on his face. Of all of them, your father was the most expressive, but you knew that at that moment he was holding back only because at the slightest he would burst into tears. And yes, with a simple glance in your direction, his eyes watered and he had to run away hugging the dishes against his chest.
Seojun sighed dramatically.
“I wish they had been this excited when I entered college.”
Yuna moved across the table, smacking him on the forehead that left him with an instant redness.
“What are you talking about, idiot? You celebrated all weekend.”
Seojun didn't respond, touching his forehead with a grimace. Yuna snorted, not believing your brother's audacity, and turned her focus back to the contents of the proposal you had received from Noble Publishing Apgujeong. You still remembered the screams that had echoed throughout the house when they found the letter from that publishing house in the mail, the most prestigious and probably the highest one could aspire to in the world of writing and for the purposes of editing and publishing. There wasn't a book published under that publishing house that wasn't a success, and that they had sought you out themselves was a great privilege.
“Speaking of celebrations,” Seojun took the floor again, when your parents had finished taking the dishes away and agreed that you would wash them all together before youo left for the publishing house, because nothing was good enough, ”I don't think we've had a moment to at least pop a champagne and celebrate this.”
Your parents remained thoughtful, but you were already shaking your head when Yuna spoke:
“It's true,” her frown said she couldn't believe they hadn't done it yet, but between so many chores, to-dos and new things you were discovering on this new path, you couldn't just take the luxury of doing nothing for a few hours. There was a lot to work on. “We should do it after the meeting. With the contract at home, it will be much better!”
Your father and Seojun cheered in agreement and your mother gave a few claps.
“You're working tomorrow, Yuna.”
“So what?” your friend frowned at you. “Do you think it'll be the first time I've gone to work with a hangover?”
Your mom's throat clearing startled her, and she quickly melted like pudding with a sheepish grin.
“But this time it will be for a good cause…and it won't happen again.”
Your mom nodded, not very convinced.
“Incidentally,” Yuna regained her posture, sending a glare at Seojun, ”we could have y/n finally watch the video reactions of her books.”
“You haven't seen them?” Seojun exclaimed and suddenly the four pairs of eyes felt very threatening.
“… no…”
“Mom?? Did you hear that?!”
“Sweetheart!” your father exclaimed, looking at you as if he had heard that you did something worthy of banishment. “Why haven't you seen the videos, don't you know the good things they say about you?”
“The compliments,” your mother nodded. “Almost the entire internet loves your books.”
“That's an exaggeration, mom…”
“How did you even avoid all that hype?” Seojun asked, leaning over the table. “Even Dad's TikTok wasn't spared, and he only watches National Geographic videos.”
“…I muffled a few words.”
A roar of incredulous refusals followed your words and promptly everyone was moving to corner you against the couch so you had no escape.
“There is no time to waste.” Seojun nodded in Yuna's direction and it offended you too much that the only times they agreed was to do something against you.
“Mrs. l/n, I think dessert will be popcorn,” Yuna moved her computer closer to the center of the table as Seojun settled in behind you, each of your parents on your sides as your friend opened the TikTok web app.
“Hey, no… no. I'm not ready to watch this. I'm not-”
“Nonsense, noona. Even better, this will give you a big confidence boost for the meeting this afternoon.”
You didn't believe Seojun at all. Your nerves were on edge as Yuna moved to sit next to your brother and the first words of the first video echoed in the living room:
“My honest opinion of the A Million Swords trilogy…”
-
“Do you think I might publish any of these one day?”
Your fingers drummed on the keyboard of the desktop computer, watching the letters spinning a story that no one yet knew. No one, except for you and Taehyung at that moment. His gaze was confused as his dark eyes hid behind the dark, unruly, damp locks of his hair. For a pool day, you couldn't have had a better time than writing parts of your still unfinished story, the one you used to run away to when you had a whole reality to mold in front of you. Maybe you should have paid a little more attention back then; attention to details, to gestures, to distances, to forced smiles; maybe if you had paid that kind of attention you would have been able to foresee everything that would happen later… maybe then it wouldn't have hurt so much.
But at that moment, at 14, you could only see with stars in your eyes the enormous possibility that you thought writing would open up for you; the world you were about to discover, much farther away than you thought.
That weekend the pool party was at your house. Jimin had brought a gigantic inflatable pool withJungkook and they all kept splashing water in each other's eyes in the backyard. In your prolonged absence, surely, Taehyung had ventured inside the house to the only place he would know you would be if it wasn't next to them.
“Do I think? I'm absolutely sure.”
Taehyung shook the droplets slipping from the ends of his hair all over your face.
“Tae!”
“Why are you doubting it?”
“I never said I was doubting it.”
Your friend took one of the armchairs that each of the boys had recast in your room, which no matter how much you pulled them out always ended up there again, to sit next to you and watch the unfinished paragraphs on the computer screen. There were four armchairs already gathering dust in the corner of the room that you still hadn't had the heart to take them out.
“Look at that,” the brown-haired man moved his face closer to the screen, splashing more water on you, with a mischievous grin. “It was desire that stirred me, far beyond the reach of reason or any cognitive faculty. In the depths of my being, I knew with unshakable certainty that I was right. Their gaze scrutinized my every expression, searching for ways to break me, while their fingers, far from innocent, accused me relentlessly. Yet, even as the weight of their scrutiny bore down on me, there was no realm, no dimension in this vast, boundless universe where I had not chosen him above all else. Not even as the streets ignited, the houses crumbled to ashes, and the roar of thunder drowned out the cries for mercy…who writes like that?”
“y/n!”
Your other two friends appeared, reveling in the unapproved reading of the first draft of your first novel, and you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.
You moved quickly to press the off button and your friends barely let out a short laugh.
“Don't ever do that again.”
“Then don't ever doubt you again.”
“I wasn't doubting! It was just a question…”
“She just wants you to be honest, Tae.” Jimin entered the room, moving right behind his friend and flashing a smile that made your hair stand on end.
“Honest...?”
“Shut up, Jimin.”
The aforementioned barely let out a laugh, under the scrutinizing and confused expressions of his other two friends.
“What do you mean?” Jungkook spoke, trying to gain ground in that unfamiliar room, clasping his hands in front of him in nervousness. He didn't even understand why he was nervous, he just knew he didn't like the obfuscated expression on your face.
“Nothing, Junkookie, Jimin's just an idiot who only knows how to spout rubbish.”
“Rubbish? Where do you even get those words from?”
“I learned it yesterday in literature class!”
“Uh-huh…”
“Stop it, Jimin!”
-
He wasn't a person to be caught off guard. His cautious attitude was something he had developed over time; with the experience of going through and surviving difficult situations; with the toughness of making strong decisions and constantly bearing the burden of being at fault for their consequences.
So no, Min Yoongi took it upon himself to plan things around him so meticulously that every aspect of his life had a place and a time; an hour and a second.
A planning so perfect that at that moment it was slipping through his hands like sand. His friend… no, Dohyun could do nothing but rest his hands against his desk sending him an obfuscated look, trying to look almost as disgruntled as Yoongi was at what he had learned would happen in that office.
“Of all the things I thought you could tell me…” Choi Dohyun shook his head, and on his face Yoongi could tell there were no words that could qualify his surprise. But he was surprised too, to be honest. He didn't know how he had summoned the fortitude to move so quickly from across town, from his study, to arrive at Dohyun's office and blurt that out to his face as if it were any Tuesday afternoon, as if he were simply inviting him to dinner at his house. “I've never underestimated you, Yoongi-ah, but this…”
“Who contacted you?”
“Who contacted me?” Dohyun let out a laugh, which felt a little heavy to Yoongi as he shifted his weight on his feet. “What makes you think I can't recognize a good deal from a distance when I see one? They call me the Shark for a reason, don't you think? I smell business like they smell blood in the sea.”
Yoongi clasped his hands at his sides, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Dohyun, who looked up and barely ran his tongue over his teeth before plopping back down on his ergonomic chair.
“The decision is already made,” was all he said to him, generating a flutter of emotions inside Yoongi.
“Who contacted you?” Yoongi insisted, feeling time slipping through his fingers. “How did you find out about… this?”
Dohyun let out a laugh, bordering on sarcasm and disbelief. Yoongi would've taken more time to think about it there, to ponder what he was doing, what his impulses were pushing him to do. But within the framework of his decisions and conflicting feelings, Yoongi had taken a path that he could no longer undo and the least he could do was avoid was to generate collateral damage to someone. Just for the chance to try, even though the probability of having the universe in his favor was microscopic, he decided not to give in to reason.
Maybe he would still be the villain in someone else's story, but in his conscience… maybe… maybe he was right and was looking for no way to excuse himself; to excuse things he could no longer change; to excuse behaviors he could no longer erase and decisions he could no longer undo.
Perhaps, too, it was the price he had to pay for what he had done. For what he had said; for what he had not said; for what he had done and what he had not done; for his action and his omission; for his perpetration and complicity. If Yoongi had known that time in his twenties that such a decision would have taken things so far, so close to the impossibility of healing, he surely would not have made it .
But to regret now, what good would it do him? To mutter apologies now, what good would it do him? To dig through the fibers of an unbridled heart, what good would it do him?
“Yoongi. I am the head of the largest publishing house in this country. If you thought I was going to see fluttering around the internet this opportunity in a million and as an entrepreneur and investor I wasn't going to take it, who are you taking me for?”
He should've dragged Namjoon away when he saw him in the parking lot, because business was his forte and not Yoongi's. Yoongi might as well cringe at Dohyun's words because how was he going to refute them. He had come with fortitude, yes. He had come with resolve and determination, yes; believing that this decision was the right thing to do, the least he could do right. And yet, at that crucial moment, with everything against him and the swords at his neck, Yoongi had his arms crossed again.
Maybe he should've dragged Namjoon along, but… how would he know if he was on his side?
“But don't worry. I'll try to keep you apart. You know I always separate personal matters from my work.”
Dohyun was a professional liar. If telling lies were a profession, Dohyun would quadruple the fortune he now boasts as the owner of the country's largest publishing house. Yoongi hated the way he covered up his poisonous words with honey, as if he couldn't see through the thin texture of the liquid how everything was corroding around him. And Dohyun was not his friend, if he wasn't sure before, he was now.
It's business, Namjoon would say, as rational and objective as ever; a businessman can't have someone around who attacks his vision, his business, that's an enemy.
Yoongi right now was a blob of green soup on Dohyun's pole, about to walk to an important meeting where he would close a million-dollar deal. His insignificance bordered on indescribability, but his diminutive presence was big enough to be considered a splinter in the foot.
The phone rang, breaking the tension in the atmosphere, and instead of answering it, Dohyun sent a glance toward the oak doors and then to Yoongi's limp body. Clasping his hands once again, it shook him inside to think that once again he allowed himself to be trampled. Once again, he was going to be the misfortune in someone's life.
“They're already here,” Dohyun almost muttered, an amused expression on his face. “You can leave now or you can stay and watch.”
Yoongi knew he'd be happy to have him there, watching him bite his tongue, trying to swallow his embarrassment. And wouldn't it be simpler to just leave, to brush against the fate he once let slip away as if it were something so trivial that it didn't tear a piece of his soul to even think about it; to brush against an opportunity he missed, selfish and presumptuous, as if he were the only one whose heart was beating with pain that day.
“I've never asked you for anything…”
“And neither have I,” Dohyun interrupted him, raising his gaze serenely, lifting his chin to acerbic dominance. “And all I'm asking you now is to stay out of my business.”
And Yoongi would've had to agree with Namjoon, because business and money definitely change a person. No one can rise to a high position, of Choi Dohyun's level, without having scored a big armory and a few degrees of tough personality willing to kill to get what they want.
“I received you out of courtesy. To Jin. But I won't tolerate another second of this.”
Dohyun mumbled, and the moment he brought the phone to his ear, Yoongi knew he had lost. Again.
“Hyung…” Yoongi closed his eyes, helplessness winning out over reason, the word sour in his mouth.
“No. I'm sorry, but no. It will happen. Just make your decision, I don't want my guests to wait too long.”
He didn't know if the grinding of his teeth was as loud as he heard it in his head. He didn't know if his behavior was over the top or understandable. He didn't know if he had a right to those emotions or if he had lost it more than ten years ago. Well, ten years in her head. He didn't know if he deserved that moment; to share that space and time and catch off guard someone who could become as cautious as he was now; because if Yoongi learned from anyone to be the way he was today, it was because of her.
He didn't know, in retrospect, if he ever made a good decision in his life.
-
i reeaally want to know your thoughts on this one!! re-edited!
tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592@yoongznme @queenbloody @leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesworld @zippaur @v4ksk4tz @kookierry @idk179634 @canarystwin @elliott-calls @devilzliaison @butnotmontana @ismelllikechlorine247 @19yearoldjstryingtolivelife @thatgirliehan @yuuuumii @welcometomyworld13 @sugarbaby69x @whoa-jo @chaotickyrith @dreamerwasfound @darlingz99
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genericpuff · 5 months ago
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I know LO has been over for a while but something that's always confused me is the 10 year punishment thing. (I dropped the comic before the judgment so correct me if im wrong)
apparently Persephone was sentenced to 10 years in the mortal realm. Yet she complains that Zeus keeps extending her punishment but the timeskip only ends up being 10 years? (From 20 yrs old to 30). that makes it sound like she had a shorter sentence that was extended to 10 yrs (what a fuckin slap on the wrist if it was).
Either her punishment was 10 yrs and Perse was just banking on early parole release or she always had a short sentence which ended up being a measly 10 yrs anyway.
But then that would mean Demeter's punishment period was either tied directly to Persephone's or (for some reason) she had a full 10 yr sentence while Persephone got an initial shorter period
If it's not either of those then shouldn't her punishment be longer? 11, 12, 15, 20 yrs instead? Would make more sense that she was mad if she had to serve at least twice as long as she was told to
Ah so actually she wasn't sentenced to 10 years, she was basically sentenced to a perpetual punishment until Zeus felt certain conditions were met, such as her filling all of the responsibilities of Demeter and turning Minthe back to normal.
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So the reason it wound up being 10 years was because Zeus kept finding reasons to extend the sentencing, clearly in an attempt to keep her away from Apollo as he was already suspecting that he might use Persephone's fertility goddess powers to overthrow him.
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(joke's on Zeus though, he was overthrown with a poison cupcake lmaooo)
That said, Persephone was... really dumb when she failed her 10th inspection. Primarily because she broke one of the rules Zeus put in place for her before he did the inspection-
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Like it's really funny in hindsight to read this scene because at the time the narrative was definitely trying to make us believe that Zeus was the bad guy here, and to a point he's definitely fucking around and not actually planning on letting her out of confinement while also doing jack shit to get to the bottom of his own suspicions regarding his son... but also girl, if your plan was to prove to Zeus that you had filled your end of the bargain, then why try and give him the letter prior to your once-a-year inspection? Either you're failed again over some arbitrary made-up bullshit reason so you can use the guilt-trip method after he's already screwed you over, or best case, you pass and you can deliver the letter to Hades yourself! It was a really dumb move on her part to immediately jump to asking him to bend the rules he made for her when she should know Zeus isn't gonna feel obligated to 'owe' her anything, and is completely contrary to her being as "smart and cunning" as the narrative tries to make us believe (remember when she hustled Hades at chess and lied to him about having a driver's license? where's that Persephone?)
And yeah Zeus really isn't wrong when it comes to how Persephone herself is such a "uwu look at me I'm a smol widdle baby girl, please break the terms of my punishment for me because I asked with tented eyebrows bats eyelashes" , this is honestly why so many people like Zeus as a character in LO contrary to how much the narrative tries to make us hate him, because while he's absolutely an asshole who deserves to be knocked down a peg, at least the narrative doesn't try to gaslight us into thinking he's a good person like it does with H x P. Zeus is a shithead but unapologetically authentic; Persephone and Hades both pretend like they're saints on earth (and the narrative tries to sell them to us as such) meanwhile they're constantly picking on lower class people and using their power and influence to get their way even when they haven't earned it.
But also yeah, it's funny how the fans will say "age doesn't matter when you're a god, time doesn't mean anything when you're immortal" to dismiss the massive age gap between Hades and Persephone, but then cry foul over Zeus keeping her in confinement for 10 years which is a pretty bare ass minimum sentence when you really think about it. Like, if the passage of time really is that inconsequential to a god, then how is 10 years even a punishment? It's only suddenly seen as a massively unfair punishment when it's Persephone who's suffering it.
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applecore6 · 4 months ago
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cw: use of she/her
“Do you think if we went to high school together we’d be together? Like high school sweethearts?”
“Hm?—” Her head perks up at the sound of his voice before processing the question. “—Oh we did go to high school together.”
“Hah?” Kuroo’s caught off guard by her matter-fact tone—as if it was common knowledge.
“Mhm. You went to Nekoma, right? I do recall hearing about the volleyball team. Weren’t you guys like really good?” She’s being way too nonchalant about this..
“Good is an understatement— What do you mean we went to high school together?”
“I mean we both attended the same educational facility??”
“No I mean, why have you never told me?”
She hums a sound as if saying I don’t know
“I’m not really one to come up to people and say “Hey, I recognize you. Did we go to school together?” that’s just breeding grounds for embarrassment.” She continues tapping on the screen in her hands, playing the mindless mobile game that just finished downloading. “Plus high school was a horrible time for me. I try not to dwell on it.”
“Horrible?” He tries not to pry. Tries.
“Yeah. Horrible.”
They had only been dating a couple months. A group assignment in their biology class marks the first interaction they ever had. He thinks about what she said a little.
“So.. if you hated high school so much, what drew you to me,” he vocalizes.
“The eccentric hairdo,” she replies curtly. “No but— I don’t know I’m not the best with words at the top of my head, but you really.. opened me up(?) not in a weird way. I just would’ve never voluntarily gotten to know a guy like you, but we started—y’know— being with each other a little more, and I thought, woah this guy is not what I expected at all.”
The words coming out of her flow out into the air straight into Kuroo’s brain. He feels the entirety of his face heat up at such a vulnerable confession from her.
“Umm.. back to the original question,” he mumbles out.
“Huh— oh yeah. No I don’t think we would’ve dated in high school. I was waayy too cynical. I probably grouped you with the rest of the jocks. At least now I know you’re a harmless little shit.”
Despite the lighthearted atmosphere, Kuroo couldn’t help but feel a little let down(?).
She hums out a sound at the sight of his face. If he had cat ears they’d definitely be pointed down.
“Hey. What’s with the face, don’t tell me you’re hurt little 17 year old me didn’t wanna date 17 year old Kuroo,” she teases him, but she can’t help the little bubble of pride she felt in her chest.
“I don’t know you’re just, you know, you. You’re really cool, and to be honest I’m kinda-what’s the word- I don’t know like. You’re telling me I could’ve known you even longer, spent even more time with you, maybe even know you a little better.” The words on his mind spilling out his mouth faster than he realizes.
It’s silent. She feels her chest tighten a little, and the feeling drops down to her stomach, spreading throughout her body. If this were a dumb 90s cartoon, she would’ve definitely gone comically red with hearts floating around her head like birds.
“Don’t worry you didn’t miss much—”she pauses thinking of the right way to word what she’s thinking “—I don’t remember much from high school if I’m being honest, but I remember the first time we met, I remember getting to know you, and I remember it felt good. I understood what people meant when they talked about young love, it feels like life before meeting you was kinda blurry, sometimes I forget that I’m a full fledged adult that’s lived years before this.”
It’s buzzing in both his ears. He doesn’t know what to say except—
“I love you, too”
Maybe they didn’t take the first chance they had together, but they’re with each other now. And they know they’ll be with each other tomorrow.
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my writing is very bland and dialogue heavy, but i’m trying to get into it which is why im just vomiting into my tumblr drafts rn. forcing myself to write so i can get better T_T. theyre also very dialogue heavy cuz i dont rly have many ppl to yap to so in my head im having yap sessions with these characters.
this is kinda inspired by troy and annie from community with little crumbs of myself. (i fear im projecting myself onto the reader too much, but who cares this is my outlet)
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layraket · 3 months ago
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guys. i could say that im very normal abt the update. but that would be a lie. and lying is bad. yeah. im nothing close to normal abt this whole thing im deranged.
theres so many details here.
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Time seems to be more calm, the last update he was at the verge of screaming (to shut them all? to call for help to control all these links? who knows) now he looks very thoughtful, taking in every detail of the whole place to see if he can get some sort of puzzle solved
This question i feel like it has more impact that it looks at first, a lot of people are pointing out the little owl friend we saw at the first doodles of the AU, yeah the owl in oot was a yapper in all rule, but he was some sort of guidance during his journey
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Twilight connects the owls to Shad, a guy who has a lot of knowledge and can help him at any moment if he needs some sort of information, Four remembers the owl that helped the colors during his second adventure, and Legend connects the owls to the statues in Koholint, together with the owl that gave him hints to where he had to go
Here it is made clear the point that i was talking before: Time recognizes that even if, for a kid, it was just an anoying bird, he helped him in some sort of way, and he should appreciated that small detail
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beautiful art there's so many birds here im delighted so happy i've been staring at this for already 6 minutes beautiful
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Owlan! as someone who also has slept during class so many times i dont blame Sky at all
also can we talk about how cool is Owlan's design??? like why i haven't seen anyone commenting abt it???? the yellow feather just makes me thing of the loftwing that we had to chase during the start of sksw, and i love that small detail so much
and Sun!! Finally she got a canon apparition, and of course it is with Sky sleeping during class lol
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going back with what i was saying before, yeah he can thank Kaepora Gaebora all he wants, but man did that bird talk so much
love that expression 10/10 no more notes needed
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EMO RULIE EMO RULI-
putting that joke aside, Hyrule seems to be more careful inside a dungeon, sure he can try and explore all he wants outside, but he knows very well the dangers of a dungeon, and he would like to no take any risk that could put them in danger while he can help it
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I love the continuity of the comic, we all knew these were the same statues as the one that Twi used to separate them from Sky, but seeing it being portrayed in the comic is a detail that i think we all appreciate
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Twilight my guy you cant go and look all that innocent we know your tricks
also Sky still remembers that time, seeing Legend as a bunny will not be easily forgotten. And Legends knows it
it doesn't mean that he likes that little fact
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here i have things to say, it makes sense that the antifairy goes first for Legend, he's like. one of the most magic-based of them. Sure maybe Hyrule is our special wizard guy, but the vet uses a shit ton of magic weapons, he has to have a crazy amount of magic with him adding the rings he has
Also them all ready to defend their vet, yeah it might not be fully dangerous, but they will show no mercy to whatever dares to hurt one of them (a silent promise that they all made with the Twilight situation)
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Time's attention is instantly gained with the mention of a Fairy, he doesn't sees too much of his friends in that thing, and that gives him a bad feeling of why the name
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i could easily do a well thought comment on how he's magical girl material but i think with only that description enough was said
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Only with the thought of one of his fairy friends having such destiny makes Time be disgusted, a Fairy turned into an enemy? Doesn't sound right, it isn't natural and just cruel for the poor fairy
also Wind was ready to catch her, he knows how valuable are fairies during a dungeon, you never know when you will need her help
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Warriors during his adventure he made friends with the fairies, so he obviously will have something for her
he's like a mom who knows her children very well and will carry any treats for them, not beating up the mom/aunt of the group allegations
and Wind give the poor fairy some time before entering the bottle, she must be confused :(
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this last pannel is everything to me, very cool very beautiful i love thsi comic so much
now my fav pannels as usual!
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beautiful art as always every time i see a new update i get surprised by all the details
if you noticed a lot of Four in the last few images shushhh
as always, art credits goes towards @linkeduniverse!
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sillygoblinantics · 1 month ago
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I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
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I’ve held my tongue for too long about my feelings on madhouse but fucking hell!
Unless by some fucking act of arceus or universe hands me the fucking concept art that went into this horrible webcomic- I got room to rip and tear!
This is:
Goblin’s Valid Autopsy of Lily Orchard’s PokéMadhouse
Before we go forward!
Hi. I’m Gobbo or Bri (pick ya poison), I’m a current student at Savannah College of Art and Design (as for campus I ain’t saying nothing) Im working on my bachelors in Animation and minoring in Creative Writing. My Concentration starting as 2d animation later switching it to Story and Concept in animation (back in 2021). I started in 2019 and it’s… 2024 now. Don’t judge me! I’ve been mentored by comic artist, storyboarders and many more in the industry! I’ve taken storyboarding and a plethora of writing classes to have enough qualifications under my belt to properly discuss the shit writing, lacking worldbuilding, disorganized plot hole ridden lore/arcs and horrible inconsistent art. So let’s not waste another moment and dive fucking in!
Story:
I’m not using Lily’s self review tvtropes to cover this. It’s disingenuous ego stroking at full blast.
We follow the highs and lows that are the “will they won’t they” relationship between the stated as sisters, Lily and her Gardevoir, G (yes that’s her fucking name). In a Sunday newspaper comic page esc structure. With bits and pieces of trivia and lore that rarely comes up if not to push and pull sympathy points for lilys self insert as she gets assaulted and violated in physical and mental ways. An arc being called “Violate” and later following the would be time span for gestation of a baby that would then become the labeled cryptid child.
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I’m gonna be real there’s no point in reading it because the moment something big happens out of the blue there wasn’t a page missing to explain it which god fucking dammit Lily do I need to give you one of those brainframe sheets or outline templates if you decide to write a story? Because I’ll gladly provide them!
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How do you consider yourself a fucking writer at all with your fundamental lack of care for lore and story like- for fucks sake woman it won’t kill you!
Characters
Lily
G
Mikayla
Marah
Bonnie
Mismagius
Other hardly seen or used Pokémon that get thrown away out of nowhere
Countless stolen ocs
And Dr Ponytail (yes that’s the fucking name of one of the “antagonists” and I’ve reread it so many times and found nothing!)
Lily has her “antagonists” being either ex friends or partners or someone who tries to call out bullshit! Fucking hell, the way Lily has g written it’s hard to not see HER AS ONE!
You have all these characters and you neglect so many of them to focus on making your favorite Dollies kiss and scissor or do nothing!
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You don’t punish actual rapists either like legit what do you do when your Pokémon who’s been raised like a sister your whole life admits to mindfucking you in a weird soul bond type deal (that you wrote the explanation of yourself), then out of fear swaps dna of a Pokémon of her CRITICALLY ENDANGERED SPECIES can match with to save it with your own dna to baby lock you to staying together, what’s the thing you decide to write?
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Case in point: stick an entire cactus up your urethra Lily.
I need a break from this… I’m moving on to the art misdirection.
Lily you are the one commissioning these panels from Mikayla. Meaning you are telling her how to draw these making you the literal art director of this shitty comic!
You want my advice?
USE MODEL SHEETS
Like holy shit. I need to copy paste my spiel about what it is one second:
Make a turnaround for your character(s)!
(Excluding front and back you need to make left and right versions of the rest!)
Front
Back
over-the-shoulder
3/4 view
profile
expression sheets
color pallet reference
(if it’s online/digital rgb if it’s for print it’s cmyk)
include the hexcodes for artists if it’s a small production!
lineup for height and scale for comparison to:
other characters
backgrounds
props
etc.
elements of the world + floor plan in small settings
action poses
hair guide (trust me it’s important)
these are the elements every artist who wants to tell a visual story be it animated or comic always needs:
✨A PITCH BIBLE✨
And Lily, if you’re making any story that is
A. Tied to an existing property
B. Has real world/geopolitical/historic relation
C. Needing a basic understanding to science
Do everyone and yourself a favor
AND DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH IN MLA FORMAT INSTEAD OF SOMEONE ELSES OPINIONS AND YOUR ASS OF HOLDING BULLSHIT!
Class
Dismissed
Your homework is to get these books:
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rotthepoet · 2 months ago
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I'm back again w my obsession w pathetic!Lorenzo ✌️😗
Because he so so so obessed that it's comical. There's us strutting down the halls very nonchalant n behind us is Lorenzo trailing after us like a puppy with heart eyes while other students stares like wtf ain't u an asshole who tf is this
"how has your day been?"
"let me carry that for you sweetheart"
"youre gorgeous today as well"
"please, I need a kiss or I might die"
"did you like the flowers this morning?"
"one date, one date is all I ask for"
And he's yapping and whining our ears off and blocking our way and we feel a headache growing and side eye his stupid pretty face and tell him to behave and fck off
And then the mf, cheekily but trust he's so serious, goes "I'll be a good boy and behave if you give me a kiss" xx
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR RAHHHHHHHHHHHH 😼
- 🎹
OMGGG BABES IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I GOT BUSY CHEATING IN MY CLASSES AND THEN MY BEST FRIEND MOVED AND NOW MY LIFE IS KINDA IN ORDER SO YAY!! how are you love??
Also!!!
lorenzo is literally our dog like???? Hes following us around shopping and pulling the cashier aside to tell her to charge only his card for whatever you and your friends buy. Literally buying your love.
Its a constant “cmon just one date. Just one time, thats all i ask” and a constant “no” but damn does he keep trying.
He’s trying extra hard all the time now. In class, on the pitch, just making himself nicer. We do not care(we kinda care)
Lowkey he sends his friends after you to try and coax you into dating him. He loses his marbles after one of them comes back with a lipstick kiss on their cheek(we were feeling quite devious and silly!!)
He’s downright pathetic for us, annoying the living shit out of us before we finally snap, holding his chin and glaring down at him, demanding he knock it off.
And his pathetic little whine and “yes, ma’am… anything for you”
Nd holllyyy shit does that do something for me- i mean us- i mean ITgirl!reader. I mean i hate lorenzo fuck that guy
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xxkissesforchanniexx · 9 months ago
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What do we think about a enimies to lovers / academic rivals with Jeongin?? But It ends good.. Ive been thinking about and It cant get out of my mind
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𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫
Pairing: college student!Jeongin x fem!reader Word count: 2.8k Genre: Fluff 🥰💖 >.> in a sense & Smut 🔥❤️ Warning: enemies to lovers >.>, they in college don't be stupid use protection, use of y/n with you/your, baby bread is jealous, i think i got it all??
A/N: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, theres a lot to go through in my requests and my computer wasn't working yesterday so I'll try my best to get all the requests out soon. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT! - Khxndle
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"I can do better." were the words you had grown to dread over the years you'd known Yang Jeongin. It went all the way back to the third grade when you were top of your class, and then Jeongin appeared, and just like that, he was the "smart kid." It wasn't bad necessarily, you had someone to talk to about school, someone who understood, until it was bad, and Yang Jeongin drifted away from you in middle school. That wasn't when you started hating him though, it was that spelling bee of 8th grade year, you were so close, he swore to you it was an "I", it was a "Y" and you blew the competition.
"Bradykinesia." The teacher at the table asked you.
"Definition?" You asked.
"Slower or difficulty moving the limbs."
"Bradykinesia... B-R-A-D-I-K-I-N-E-S-I-A. Bradykinesia."
"Incorrect. Yang Jeongin?"
He smiled, his thin eyes crinkling. "Bradykinesia. B-R-A-D-Y-K-I-N-E-S-I-A. Bradykinesia."
Your eyes widened as you turned to look at Jeongin.
"Correct. Yang Jeongin will continue to the district competition."
You never really spoke to Jeongin after that.
You sighed deeply as you walked into you literature class, second year of college, it had been about four years since you had last seen Jeongin and even longer since you had a friendly interaction. As you sat down and the seats began to fill in the classroom you scanned the room for a bit. The sound of a notebook slamming down to your right made you jump, you turned to see a very cute boy with light brown hair and chubby cheeks.
"Oh, did I startle you?" He laughed lightly. "Sorry." He sat beside you, "I'm Jisung."
You nodded with a small smile, "y/n."
Jisung smiled brightly past you, "Jeongi-"
Your jaw dropped, Yang Jeongin stood at the door, he fixed his glasses and looked at you. "l/n y/n..." He smiled at you with all the care a chainsaw had to wood.
Jisung looked between you and Jeongin. "You know each other?"
Jeongin smiled as he sat on the other side of Jisung, "I know her very well."
It had been several weeks since the start of your literature class with Jeongin, and he was relentless. If you answered incorrectly, he was the first to correct you before the teacher could even say you were wrong, during learning games, it was always him a few points behind you, only to answer the final question faster just to watch your face fall as you placed 2nd. Jisung noticed after a while and asked what the problem was only for Jeongin to reply with a "She's the problem." and you to reply with a "The idiot to your right."
As if your life couldn't get any worse, Jeongin had a wondrous looking 98% on his 6th week report while you had a 97%.
"I can do better, I gave you ample room to pass me." he teased as he waved the paper in your face.
Jisung smiled sheepishly, showing his 74%.
You collected your things and checked your watch.
"Where are you going?" Jisung asked.
"Study date." You said.
"With who?" Jeongin raised a brow.
"Christopher from the theatre department." You picked up your bag.
"Does he even-" Jeongin started.
"He did literature last semester." you smiled. "Plus he's cute."
Jisung bounced his eyebrows comically.
Jeongin bit his lip. "Hm. Okay."
"Anyways, bye bye."
Jeongin looked at the desk for a minute, he could do better than Chris to help you study, who was Christopher anyway?
"Jeongin..." Jisung leaned in and smirked. "I smell the bitter scent of jealousy..."
"Huh-"
"You're mad she's going to ask Christopher for help studying,"
"What? No." Jeongin replied quickly,
"Why not just offer to help her?" Jisung tilted his head.
"Who in their right mind helps their rival?" Jeongin grabbed his things and started leaving.
"You know I'm right!" Jisung shouted after him.
"Nuh uh!" Jeongin shouted back.
Come the 12th week check, you and Jeongin were tied. He bristled as you proudly announced your 98% during lunch break, his grade hadn't changed.
"It's thanks to Chan." You smiled to yourself.
"Who is Chan?" Jeongin's brows furrowed.
"Christopher." Jisung said sipping his coffee.
"When did you start calling him Chan?" Jeongin stared at you.
"When did it become your business?" You shot back.
He sucked in a breath and huffed out hopelessly. It wasn't his business, but it bothered him that you were relying on some theatre major.
"Y'know, frat boys are having a party next weekend." Jisung looked at you, "Of course, being the such good friends, Chris and Felix are, I'm sure he's going."
You shrugged. "Don't have time for fra-" Your phone buzzed and you looked at it.
Channie😵‍💫 01:37pm My friend is gonna have a party, be my plus one?
You looked at Jisung. "I might just have time."
Jeongin glanced at your phone and his fist clenched. "I'm going." he said and looked at Jisung.
"Oh my!" Jisung smirked.
"Shut it." You rolled your eyes and smiled at your phone.
"You ready for the test tomorrow?" Jeongin nudged Jisung.
"What test?!" He practically shrieked.
"It's a miracle you have a C." You sighed.
"OH HELP ME STUDY!" He started pulling out books and vocabulary sheets.
"I'll he-" You started.
"Jisung, let me help you, I know the material better." Jeongin smiled at you.
You narrowed your eyes and looked at your phone, quickly replying to Chan:
You 01:43pm Sure :)
The test the following day was difficult, you even saw Jeongin looking confused, but you somehow finished with a 86%. As the students filed out of the class with the lunch bell you sighed.
Jeongin looked over your shoulder, "There isn't ever going to be a day you pass me is there?" He smirked.
You wanted to smack him. "I didn't study as much as I should've."
Jeongin's brows furrowed. "What were you doing with Chri-"
"As I said before, he's cute." You shoved the test into your bag and stood, Jeongin looked at you and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something.
You looked at him waiting for him to say anything and when he didn't you made a face and left him alone in the classroom. It was when he saw you joining the well built man with dark hair and that stupidly charming accent in the hallway, he knew he was screwed.
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It was the night before the party and you were knee deep in clothes from your closet, searching for an outfit, any outfit.
"You could just go in jeans and tee." Jisung said from where he lie on his stomach on your bed in your apartment, looking up from his phone and kicking his legs.
"You could just look more masculine." You teased, intentionally throwing a hoodie over your shoulder to hit his face.
"Hey!" His eyes narrowed and you chuckled softly. He looked at his phone again and sat up, "I have to go."
"Already? You just got here." You glared at your friend. "Who's gonna help me pick an outfit!?"
"Ask Hyunjin," he sighed, "I have to go see Minho anyway."
"Why?" You raised a brow.
"Who's gonna help me pick an outfit!?" he retorted.
You threw another hoodie at him as he left. You sat on your bed and picked up your phone about to text, Hyunjin to come over when you heard a knock at your door.
You groaned thinking Jisung must've forgotten something, another knock. Who was at your door at 11pm on a Friday without texting you first? "I'm coming!" You shouted as you walked to the door.
You opened it and made a face at the man at the door, his eyes met yours and you started to close the door.
He put his foot between the door and the doorframe. "Can I talk to you?" Jeongin sighed.
"Sure let's talk." You opened the door and pulled out your phone scrolling for Jisung's contact.
He grabbed your phone. "Can you not talk to me without Jisung keeping the peace?"
"I'm being peaceful." You huffed grabbing for your phone.
"Why do you hate me so much?" He asked, holding the phone out of your reach.
"Is that even a question?" You jumped for your phone and he somehow managed to push you back into your apartment, closing the door behind him and keeping you from stumbling.
He stared down at you. "Is it that I have a better grade than you now?"
You pulled away and tried to get your phone again. "No."
"Is it that I annoy you too often?" He held the phone between two fingers as far away from you as he could.
"No." You jumped for it and he grabbed your hand.
"Is it that I'm always in your business?"
"Ooh!" You mocked shock, "You're getting warmer." You said rolling your eyes.
He made a face. "You can't seriously still be on about what happened in middle schoo-"
"So what if I am?!" You snapped.
"It was years ago, what are you five?!" He shouted.
"You know wha-" You started. "Wait! How the hell did you get my addre-" You remembered how quickly Jisung had insisted on leaving. "JISUNG IS IN ON THIS!"
"Listen." Jeongin sighed. "Let me explain."
"What is there to explain?" You stared at him condescendingly, "That you love comparing yourself to me because I'm not as smart as you? That you were so desperate to be "the smartest" that you just had to lie to me and make me look like an idiot? That you just hate the fact that I'm so close to passing you after trying so hard?! No! I know, you really hate the fact that I'm not acting like everyone else and asking you to help me in litera-"
"Yes!" Jeongin yelled. "Why are you going to Christopher as if I can't help you?!"
"Why am I OBLIGATED to ask you for help!?"
"Because-" He hesitated and closed his mouth, breathing deeply for a moment. "Forget it."
"What?" You stared at him.
"I said 'forget it'." He handed you your phone.
You stared at the defeated look on his face and opened your mouth to say something.
He moved for the door before you could get the words out and you grabbed his arm. "Tell me."
He turned to look at you.
You felt your face getting hot as he spoke.
"Don't go with Chris."
"Why?" You muttered, taking a step back.
"If I tell you, will you still go?" He took a step toward you.
"Why?" You asked more persistent than before.
"Because I don't want you too." He whispered, walking closer.
You took another step back and you felt the wall against you back and tensed. "Why?"
"I don't want you to get involved with frats at all." Jeongin rested his hand on the wall beside your head. "I would prefer you sit and read "Things Fall Apart" with me. I would prefer you tell me about your day like you did in elementary school. I would prefer you talk to me, let me explain myself." He looked into your eyes. "I don't want you to get involved with those frats because I want you for myself."
You stared at him with wide eyes.
"I hate it that you would trust Christopher over me. I hate it that you would consider asking someone for help before me." He bit his lip. "Because I like you, I don't want you to be with anyone else."
You opened your mouth to speak.
"No, I'm not finished." He shushed you. "I was stupid in middle school, I was dumber in high school. But I want to try for you, because I know I can do better. I want you to be with me. I want to prove to you I can do better than Chri-"
His eyes widened as you kissed him gently. "You talk too much."
His cheeks went red. "I-"
You raised a brow. "What? I thought you were going to prove you were better than Chan."
Jeongin smiled and kissed you again. "I'm going to prove it. Let me enjoy myself for a minute."
You giggled as he peppered kisses all over you cheeks.
"I'm sorry for how much of an ass I've been."
"Prove it." You said looking up into his eyes.
Your heart skipped a beat at the sly grin on his face, "Come here." He swept you off your feet, "Where's your room?"
"First door on the left.." You whispered.
He carried you in and threw you gently onto the bed before climbing over you. "You're really pretty, you know that?"
You blushed as he leaned down and kissed you deeply, his tongue wrestling with yours before he finally gained entrance to your mouth, groaning softly at the taste of you. His lips moved from yours to your jaw where he bit gently.
You gasped softly.
He smiled against your skin and sat up, tugging at your shirt. "Can I take this off?"
You nodded and looked away as he removed the shirt. "Take off yours?" You gave him the most innocent doll eyes, he rolled his eyes and removed his shirt, before kissing your collar and chest, you squeezed your thighs together at the feeling.
His hands moved behind you. "Up please."
You lifted up a little and he quickly removed your bra, lowering you back down slowly, he took a moment to admire your chest before kissing your breast and working his way to your nipple before taking it into his mouth. You whimpered as he sucked at it, rolling the other between his fingers before switching. He smiled as he saw the way you rubbed your thighs together.
"Up." He grabbed the waistband of your pants as you lifted your hips and pulled them off your legs. He smirked down at you, "Chan ever see you like this?"
"N-no..." You stuttered, covering your mouth.
"Good." He sat got on his knees to admire your pantie clad sex for a moment, looking at the wet spot. "He doesn't ever get to see this, okay?" Jeongin looked at you.
"Okay." You nodded.
He smiled. "Take this off." He tugged at your underwear and you moved to help him remove it. He didn't give you a moment to prepare yourself before his mouth was on you, licking wide stripes of your cunt. You moaned and grabbed his hair. He hummed contentedly into you, the vibrations send sparks through you. He grabbed your thighs and kept them open as he started sucking at you clit, his eyes flicking up to see your face every few moments. He pushed a finger into you.
"Jeongin! Innie!" You squealed tugging at his hair. He moved his finger slowly and tentatively added a second
You moaned and squirmed. His mouth on your clit and his fingers was too much. "I'm going to-"
He pulled away. "No."
You whined. "Why would you do that?!"
"Wanted you to come on me, not in my mouth." He stood again and removed his pants.
Your already red face went redder as he moved over you.
He kissed your cheek gently. "I wanted you for so long..."
"You have me, what are you waiting for?" you muttered, looking down at him, he was decently thick, but he looked so long you felt your stomach turn.
"Oh, nothing." He leaned down to breathe in your ear. "Stop looking at my dick like you want to eat it or I might just make you."
You blushed furiously, "Yang Je-" You moaned, eyes fluttering shut as he pushed into you.
He groaned softly into your neck, "So tight. I'm going to cum if I move..."
"Move." You hissed, opening your eyes to glare at him.
He sucked in a breathe before propping himself up on his elbows. He gave an experimental thrust and smiled as you moaned and wrapped your arms around him. He pulled out again and thrust into you a few more times, before he began moving into you confidently, kissing your throat and muttering sweet nothings into your ear.
"Chan can't do this can he?" He muttered against your lips before kissing you.
You moaned and nodded.
"Only I can make you look like this." He pulled back and gripped your hips, fucking into you harder. "You're not going to the party anymore?"
You shake your head, "N-no, I w-won't go."
He hummed happily and slammed into you faster.
"Innie! Innie! I'm coming!" You gasped out.
"Shit!" He moaned as his hips stuttered. "Can I come inside?"
You nodded mindlessly. "Come inside!"
"I love you." He whispered in your ear, he rubbed your clit and forced you over the edge, you moaned loudly as your walls pulsed around him, nails digging into his back. Jeongin followed close behind, he bit your shoulder to muffle his cry as he came inside you, his hips canting slowly before he fell onto you.
You held him for a moment and whispered. "I love you too."
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kisabesworld · 3 months ago
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Hey I saw you asking for BNH request could I get one with Izuku and reader where it takes during Izuku's vigilante arch mostly the Deku VS class 1-a episode (the reader is the daughter of Nana shimura and is able to use half of One For all too ) while trying to get Izuku back the others couldn't convince him so they let their final hopes on that hands of the reader and she confesses her feelings for him hoping that would be enough to bring him back.
THANK YOU. (bear with me guys i haven’t seen the eps bc im scared but ive seen clips. Many many clips…)
Your heart felt like lead in your chest. You watched the boy you once knew, in his green tattered hood. You knew he’d picked it to like like All Might. You knew. You’d seen the others try to get him back- You knew all too well he wouldn’t.
Your breath hitched as yet another plan failed. One after the other. The Izuku you knew before was gone- The bright eyed aspiring hero. He seemed a shell of his former self, but still full of the same determination.
You feel your feet carry you forward. Wait, were you doing this? Your heart beat wildly in your chest. You suddenly launch off the ground using One for All, a trick Izuku taught you. Izuku. Izu. You thought about the silly nickname you had given him. It made you smile now.
As you land in front of him he seems to freeze, ready to take off. Your eyes scan his hood, down to his tattered clothes. Your heart ached- you wanted to help. You take a small step forward, but just as fast he steps backwards.
You suddenly call out, voice full of pain, yearning, anything. “Izu.” You say, softly. Furrowing your brows you look at him. He seems to freeze up, standing up straighter. He doesn’t answer at first, seeming hesitant to do so.
“…(Y/N).” He answers, slowly pulling down his hood with a gloved hand. There it was, that freckled face, the green curly locks you wanted to run your hands through. Despite everything, when you looked into his eyes, they were still kind.
You take another step forward, this time he doesn’t step back. “Do I need to beg you to come back?” You ask softly. He lets out an airy chuckle, the sound making your heart leap in your chest.
“It wouldn’t do any good. I’m sorry.. You’re the last person I wanted to say that to.” He says, looking guilty. He looks away from you, as if too ashamed to keep your gaze. You take another step forward.
“Izu.. Do you remember the time we were training, and Bakugo blew me up so bad I couldn’t move?” You ask, laughing at the thought.
He nods, letting out his own laugh. “Yeah. I was so worried.. You should be more careful.” There he went. Still thinking of everyone but himself.
You take another step forward. You could almost reach out and touch him now. “I realized something that day.” You say softly. He turns to look at you, seeming a bit nervous with your proximity. He doesn’t back away, body tense and ready to jump away if need be. “Izu. I won’t touch you.” You reassure him.
He thinks, it wasn’t you he was worried about. He missed your touch. He speaks up now. “What was it?”
You look confused for a moment, before answering. “Oh. That-“ You say, looking over to the side. “You were patching me up. I remember, thinking.. If a boy as pretty as you patched me up every time, I wouldn’t mind getting hurt.” You admit, not looking back in his direction.
He tensed, his eyes wide. His freckled cheeks tinge pink. ‘She thinks i’m pretty..?’ He thought, blinking. “I remember I- I thought the same about you.” He quickly says, his eyes widening at his own words.
Your head turns to face him. “What..?” You ask softly, cheeks pink as you look at him.
“When I first saw you. First day of class. I thought you were the prettiest person i’d ever laid my eyes on.” He says, seeming hesitant to say anything. He looks down at his feet.
You watch him, seeing him shift nervously. It was almost comical.
“Izu.” You call out again, a hand coming up to rest on his cheek. His body goes slack at your touch. He blinks, not speaking, lips parted. You wanted to kiss him.
“…I love you.” I say softly, watching his reaction.
The last thing you expected was his gloved hands to press against the back of your head, pressing you closer to him and into a kiss. Your eyes widen, before shutting. You finally run your hands through his green curls- It felt even better than you thought it would.
When he pulls away, breathless, you look at eachother for a moment before you speak. “So will you stay?” You ask quickly.
He chuckles, running a thumb over your cheek gently.
“Yeah.”
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77ngiez · 23 days ago
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SANYA KAZARINA HAS A COMPLEX DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER, AND HERE'S WHY: a pafl analysis
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point zero: definitions
im aware that my knowledge regarding cdds is above average. so, in an effort to avoid being like that one xkcd comic, i'll define the terms i use real quick.
complex dissociative disorder: abbreviated to cdd. an umbrella term that covers did, osdd, udd, and p-did.
dissociation: a mental disconnect, typically from reality. everybody dissociates to an extent - some less severe forms of it are zoning out, driving on autopilot, or getting really absorbed in a show you're watching. in cdds, the dissociation is at a maladaptive level.
alters: short for alternate self states. the dissociated parts of a person with a cdd.
point one: childhood
why do complex dissociative disorders form? it all comes down to stuff that happens in childhood, before the personality is fully integrated. experts disagree on the exact cutoff point [some say as low as 6 years old, others say as high as 12], but 9 is the typical agreed-on point. when somebody dissociates too much during childhood, it keeps their personality and identity from fully forming and integrating. this level of dissociation is almost always a result of childhood trauma.
sanya most certainly has childhood trauma. she grew up without a mother, her father died when she was six, her brother was overprotective, and other caregivers were nikita and kolya. she's also shown in canon to use fiction as a coping mechanism, which is a dissociative trauma response by nature. i don't think it's a reach to say that sanya likely relied on dissociation a lot through her childhood.
as a side note, one common risk factor for cdds is the disorganized attachment style. this attachment style forms when a child's caretakers are inconsistent and unpredictable. all things considered i think this matches sanya as well.
point two: dissociation
i just talked about sanya's dissociation during childhood - now it's time to talk about examples of her dissociation at the current time.
first off, sanya pretty clearly has a dissociative barrier around the concept of grief. what's a dissociative barrier? it's a mental "wall" that uses dissociation as the "bricks". it's the same thing that keeps people with cdds from remembering their trauma, or times when other alters were in front. with this dissociative barrier, sanya has separated herself from the painful emotions that will otherwise come when she loses someone.
another example of sanya's dissociation is in the beginning of 100 epitaphs, when she believes yura to be dead. at first she freaks out, but then she shuts down. this is pretty much textbook dissociation, imo.
point three: alters
i wanted to discuss this one later on because a lot of people tend to see cdds as just "alter disorders" and i wanted to point out some other aspects of the disorder first. that being said, though... sanya not being a singular person is kind of blatantly obvious.
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the girl on the right is the sanya that we all know and love. the girl on the left? that... is not sanya. like pretty blatantly so. i'm gonna call her sasha, for ease of reading.
sasha and sanya are pretty clearly different, both visually and in terms of personality. i'll point out the differences.
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sasha:
glasses
hair down
typically wearing that fuckass "just escaped gym class" fit from false disposition
seems to be less rebellious than sanya, is fine just staying inside and doing what sergei says
kind of a wimp
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sanya:
contacts
ponytail
usually wearing her gopnik fit and has her tshirt sleeves rolled up
rebellious and aggresive, doesnt listen to sergei
not a wimp
they are different people within the same body who go by different names and even interact with each other mentally. they are literally alters
closing statement
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