#im typing it out so i dont have to say it out loud
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i have decided i do not enjoy jealousy
or envy
#im typing it out so i dont have to say it out loud#but im so so mad i didnt get the straw hat badge#i assumed they cost money bc i also saw the goncharov ones and im broke#so i do not have money to spend on digital preening#but i found out on september . 3rd. that they had been free#and that they stopped giving them out on sep 2nd#im gonna scrwam#i hate this i hate this i hate this#tumblr blease give me a little hat for my little blog#i will find the 5 or so dollars the other badges are worth#im#ugggh emotions ard horrible i want this out of me#all of this over a stupid little picture#aaaaaaaaaaaaa << screams of frustration
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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also guess which complainer about cevio/voisona's supposed lack of vocal dynamics controls finally Looked Up. and Discovered.
#IN MY DEFENSE on cevio its hidden by default you have to unhide it#but not in my defence it was just out there in voisona. but in my defense again i got scared by the key controls above it#what if the key signature controls kills me. what if i make eyecontact with it and it kills me#but this shit rules ITS NOT as versatile as my beloved sv tension parameter#you cant go from loud to soft within a note for example#BUT this still adds so so SO much. plus i like the usage of forte and piano for it#i like putting a bunch of pp all over my synth covers. normal thing to say#OH ANOTHER THING IN MY DEFENSE for me not looking at the big black bar and seeing the controls is that there are Not many cevio tutorials#in english or otherwise. most are a little basic or too old so they dont mention these parts. i did watch a few japanese tutorials#most were also too old so they have different UI BUT i did watch one where the dude started fucking with dynamics and i was like WHAT#besides most unofficial tutorials and manuals especially in the english speaking world like Only focus on pitch editing. WHICH makes#a BIT of sense in that older software basically just had that + breathiness and maybe formant as things to edit. but we live in the future#i think there is much more to play with than just pitch bends especially with newer software. lot of fun to be had!!#ia has a really nice special type of phoneme in cevio that makes her go suuuuper soft and relaxed which im having fun playing with!
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update i talked about the mutuals in therapy again tonight
#love yall#anyways i was talking about how whenever those 'compliment prev' posts show up on the dash i get excited#because i love complimenting the person im rbing from but then when people rb from me and say nice things about me#i want to cry and its also reassurance#because its like: growing up i was always told 'youre too loud. you cry a lot. you talk too much. the way you talk is weird.'#so its like when one of my mutuals (jasper) said they like how i “speak” it was really reassuring.#especially since i have a comprehension disorder so i always feel like im struggling to get the words out. both irl and when typing#or that i have to stutter/stumble over my words from talking too fast#because i always go through life like 'do not perceive me. ugh that person is thinking about me and i cant control what theyre thinking-#so now im insecure. they probably think im weird or annoying'#and now seeing someone compliment me or that people do enjoy seeing me on their dash idk it's just....really reassuring#not to get sappy because of this hellsite but i do really appreciate all of you so much. even if we dont talk or interact <3
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:/ i wish roleplaying didnt scare the fuck outta me and make me panic. like i know the people around me would probably make accommodations/ help me deal with my anxiety by being able to tap out, break character for memes, etc etc theyre all very kind n sweet but its so so frustrating. my dyslexia, social anxieties, my general social experience is just. so incompatible with ingame rp.
it makes me sad and frustrated cause i dont know how to sort out the solution, and it feels like everyone else has such interesting dynamics with eachother & eachother's ocs. i feel like i cant participate in something that looks so so fun, i hate feeling like i cant be involved. i wish logic won out over BadBrainNoises xd
#moonlitmelancholy#i mean. i dont even know what ingame rp is like. so this is DEFINITELY just me worrying i bet.#but also.#i have so much goddamn trouble thinking of words to say#in the first place#add playing a character on top of that and im fucked.#this is all specifically about having to type#typing is my nemesis#i already cant fuckin spell for shit#:/ i have trouble realizing how sentences sound before i say them out loud sometimes#its extremely frustrating and i hate it#cause i feel like i cant even do casual rp#its just a mess i dont wanna deal with tbh >:V#rotthoughts
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i am just a small dog girlie and they are my best friends. i love them sm
#I LOVE LARGE DOGS AN EQUAL AMOUNT TO BE QUITE HONEST.. but i feel thats not super unpopular so i talk abt small dogs more#bc i need them 2 know I am with them when other ppl call them ugly or yappy or annoying#or aggressive i hate it when ppl label small dogs as aggressive when its like. Thats bc ppl dont train their dogs#and the dogs are very territorial andanxious and untrained#bc its 'funny'when a small dog is stressed out. eff etc my lecrure i do everytime i start thinkin bout dogs#but yss.. i fr just love dogs#ABD CATS I LOVE CATS TOO!!! i dont believe in the dichotomy i think theyre both good animals. and good for different ppl#abd its finr to have preferences but i hatee the whole like EWWWW CAT OWNER CAT MEAN SND EVIL!! and EWEW DOG OWNER DOG LOUD SND SNNOYING#like ok. whatever dude. what if we just loved our animals. and took care of them. yk. what if the world was made of pudding#and we all were like I personally wouldnt want to have a cat but i think its nice that you have one and that that makes you happy :] yk...#isnt there enough HATE and VIOLENCE in this world!!!#sry guys im waiting for my headphones to charge for my beddybye time so im just talkin. yk how it is#but yas. i love small dogs i love large dogs i get certain critiques for each.. and im glad that ppl are able to say I wouldnt be able to#live with or properly take care of this type of dog. i think thats a good thing#i just wish ppl wouldnt like. blame the dog. for being a dog#yk . idk.. they r our friends guys..#ik irs like. Overly sensitive but seeing ppl call dogs stupid or ugly makes me so sad sometimes#bc like they fr cannot help it whatsoever. we literally bred them to look these ways#i think its fine to be like This dog is sort of silly looking bc i do that. some dogs just are very silly looking#but idk.. no need 2 be hateful. they r all gods creatures Grins..#but anywaysbyas sry j rambled. i talk more abt small dogs even tho i love all dogs mainly bc ot THE HATERS! and also bc well famously my#favourite dog breed is the quintessential small dog. EL WAWA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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While im happy for the uptick of nonbinary heroes at dc ... Idk hpw to put this but they are either explicitly in story afab or their agab isnt referenced but like theyre all skinny ...
#representation as the end al be all isnt obviously it but the ammount of transfem folks who have said tht#they dont feel comfortable bc the idea of nonbinary has been presented as conventionally attractive no body or face hair afab folks#what im saying is tht we need a fucking character tht looks like wintergreen to b nonbinary ... wait hang on parody character ...slayyd#if wildstorm still existed wed have tht character imo#xxaso#idk this is worded so bad but i think best by talking out loud or typing
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Hello,
Please feel free to ignore this ask because it may contain sensitive topic to some people. What's your opinion about trans James ? In most fanon works , both art and fics, it is Sirius who usually is headcanoned as one. I have not seen many works with trans James or him being gender fluid , etc . Do you think it is because the way his character is described in the books , which in all honesty is not much or is it because Sirius had been described as really handsome? It doesn't do anything with handsomeness, I know , but the fandom works strangely like that 🙊
well, hello there, friend! so sorry for getting to this so late.
so, my opinion on this is really just my usual for identity hcs--i personally dont care much for them. that's not to say they're bad (i've seen some beautifully done stuff) just that it hits too close to reality for my escapist ass.
i see where you're coming from with the sirius comparison, tho! i think partly it's also because sirius is just...more popular? james is a pretty niche character, i'd say, even within mwpp compared to the others, so just by virtue of numbers, trans james doesnt get so much attention.
(there's a part of me that also thinks its also bc so much of the queerness in fanfiction comes from. wanting representation rather than caring about writing a queer character. and that means there's no deeper engagement than outward aesthetics. which means no real transgression is taking place. so u have repackaged cishetero norms circulating. but what do i know about that)
#i also have more thoughts re like. body types & identity headcanons#and what makes some characters so likely to be hc'd as something vs not others#but i dont think im qualified to say them out loud lol#it'll all be v anecdotal anyway#plus im nowhere near educated enough for it#also like the last bit--thats not me invalidating people who're writing it#i think its great it exists + dont think everything has to always be deep#im the last person to advocate for that tbh#but theres like this line b/w actually caring about something and merely providing lipservice#and i think a lot of ~activism in fandom tends towards the latter#(thats why im not a fan of identity hcs in my work. i know i cant do it justice and it WILL end up being shallow representation lipservice)#(and its just better to...not at that point ykno?)#which means basic norms and conventions are upheld#which is a bit. hm. when queerness is so inherently subversive ykno?#not sure how to explain it lol#but i do think its mainly sirius' popularity for this#the other stuff is just me speculating and thinking too much into random shit#pen’s asks
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hey google how to not get pissed off at a senile person you have to take care of
#its after 11pm and ive been up since 8 am#and i got out of bed to go turn off her dialysis machine alarm#whiich i heard upstairs in my loft bed#and she didnt even notice in the room next to it bc her tv was up so damn loud#and as i sighed and fixed it and strted leaving she says 'you dont have to be s#o touchy'#girl you didnt get out of bed until noon and all you did was watch tv#grandmas are like dogs if you dont socialize them they become bitchy and unsociable and hostile#like ok it sucks that you cant do laundrh on your own. thats kinda on you for smoking all your life nd not getting exercise#but why you gotta be mean on the reg?#ugh im overblowing it and its fine but also maybe i won't help yoh as much if youre gonna be mean to me#typing this all out made mr feel better gngngn#aurora talks#family issues
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idc if ppl think im problematic i just want it to be for the actual real reasons i am
#like... im kinda aggressive and might attack if provoked... i intentionally exude a threatening presence and personality to#scare ppl away but also bc i will actually try to fuck you up if you fuck with me too much. i also struggle with not knowing#how to handle my cat yelling besides yelling at him which reinforces him but it doesnt matter bc he does it anyways even#if i stubbornly ignore him so idfk what to do i think he just think thats the normal way to talk atp and it driveS ME INSANE BECAUSE#HE IS MOEWS ARE SO LOUD AND SOUND LIKE A FUCKING BABY CRYING WHICH TRIGGERS A PRIMAL PARENTAL THING IN#ME AND HES MANIPULATING THAT TO GET MY ATTENTION FOR SHIT HE DOESNT NEED HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#LIke. im problematic in some ways. no im not as problematic as you might think but like. i still recognize i got a lot of shit to work on#over here yaknow. its shit i think about all the time and keep trying to figure out what i can do about.#which is also why i dont need ppl riding on my ass about shit that i already know better about#i honestly think yall think me being inflammatory online makes me a bad person... idk. and i dont really think im all that controversial#or inflammatory in what i say but anyone being that in any capacity in your opinion makes them Bad for some reason?? idrk.#im trying to figure it out. like you either just have to believe any lie someone tells about me or you just hate how annoying i am to you#on the internet. something you can easily avoid by blocking me.#also the things i say online... dont necessarily directly translate to offline? im not really like this irl... im definitely a lot more#aggressive online than i am off...#offline i try to keep things calm and gentle and i try to be considerate and nice to those around me. ig i dont feel like tumblr#has earned that side of me yet 🤷#i literally have an idyllic ass garden and essentially green house ok. i dont talk about the happenings of my daily life on here#much bc i worry talking about it on here will taint it somehow.#maybe im too superstitious. maybe im worried about being stalked. maybe its a combo of many things but theres certain info#i dont trust with certain types of people and if tumblr was a person i would not trust that person with that info.#the friend to get drunk with not to watch your cats and house while you're out of town. etc.#ill vent about my trauma but i dont want you... in my life... Like That lmao. we just go to the same bar...
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#im gonna say smth and no one is allowed to say a fucking Word. i need to . type this out bc i cant Say It Out Loud#but . it is slighrly disgusting and patheyic (imo) and just . huh .#anyway . the tightening in evety inch of my body at the idea that . i might not get what i want (*) . but that even if i dont get that#ill get Something somewhat better n its just .#hard to swallow. bc im so tired for settling for what i dont want .#like letting go of shit ivrlly want for smth thats supposedly better for me#letting did not look like a real word just then what the fuck man#anyway . it is awful bc like . having so many realisations n realising that . ive forgiven a lot less and a lot worse .#n its a whole thing i cant get into bc im figuring out what exactly . thst sys abt me and where it stems from#it feels Okay . like its coming grom a Good Place. n not one of low seld worth#but like . having to possibly actually settle for less than what i actually want . is awful bc i dont like doing that and im tjred of doing#that. even if its good / better for me?#i cannot think of any other situstion simular rn other than yhe job fuckery. but . never wity a person#have i felt like this. n i dont know where or why its a Thibg. butcit is. ajd i dont know why hes fucking different.#but so much is out of my control !!!! and idk what to do anymore except just . keep pretendinf he doesnt exist#and moving like i did in high school: just zignoring how i feel bc i see the fucker constantly#it genuinely does parallel to hs rn how do i keep .#but also how is this a conpletely new situstion ive Never Exprrienced. how is this haopening to me.#i keep thinkibg abt the letter j wroye to my 21st (on my 18th) n i havent opened it#bc i missed opening it actually on my 21st. so i decided to live out actually being 21 before i#opebed the letter just to see how much had actually changed.#gonna open it aroubd my birthday. im terrified. bc i reread that letter 5x vefore wrappibg it uo. and ive thought abt it Constantly#to rmber its contents bc im Obsessed with it somehowm butbi still dont know .#i plan tocwritr another for my 25th. n 27th thrn again my 30th.#theyre fun lil time capsules . n its nice . i used to do 6montg to yearly ones but . shit got so bad i did Not wanna keep writing abt it .#so . this Will be fun . it was the 1st attemot at that too like . its why i started the 6mth letters bc i wanted to see the gradual sgifts#n reread them on my 21st but life had other plans apparently.#anyway.
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ive gotten well damnginto this song
#if its meant to happen it'll#happy anyway#im just two days into college and im three lectures behind. theres this guy lets name him colin he says he wants to be mine. but it doesnt#really sit with me quite right cause he doesnt really like the things i likeand i keep accidentally locking myself outta my dorm in the#middle of the night. i wake up kinda wired and i wake up kinda cold and i wake up kinda tired but i'll just sleep in when im old. see i don#like breaking rules but dont like doing as im told so i just float around and hope my life unfolds. everybodys tellin me that im doing so#well i try to believe them honestly i kinda find it hard to tell. if i need work or i need rest to try my best to try my best to tell mysel#i say out loud “its fine i'll figure it all out”#i tend to forget. im only still quite young. in a way this life of mine has only just begun ive got time. ive got time. im two days into#college with a busy; busy mind. that guy that we named colin he's so handsome hes so kind. my friends tell me im crazy that i'll take it wa#too far. cause i told him that its over because he doesnt play guitar. im only two days into college and my bedroom is a mess#theres just so much that i want to do that i have not done yet. theres just so much want i say but far too little breath#on my mind it runs so far away its easy to forget. that to everybody else it looks like im doing so well. i try to see it honestly i find i#hard to tell. if ive done wrong or ive done right. i need a goodnight's sleep tonight. they say “go out” i said “alright”#i think i wont i maybe might i probably should just take it slow. i'll be good but god i know. the one thing that's important above#everything else: is to learn not to put all this heavy pressure on myself. i try to believe it when i say i'll be fine. ive got time. ive g#two days into college#yes i typed all that hehe#cheryap#Spotify
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Ugh my manager said something yesterday thats making me so nervous to go back to work tomorrow and its nothing thats a big deal just makes me feel like im doing a bad job at my job
#this is how i was told to do this and have been doing this for over a year#even the corporate guy said to do it this way#and he came over accusing me of not doing what i was supposed to do#i couldnt call him out fully bc the room was loud#AND THE THING IS IT WAS ONE THING I DID AND IT WASNT EVEN WRONG I WAS LITERALLY JUST TYPING SOME NOTES IN THE SYTEM BC I REALIZED AN ISSUE#WITH AN ORDER i did not need to call the customer bc i realized our system is stupid and the customer got their shit back in like August#and i was just typing a note saying my findings and talks with the salesperson so there was record of it#and he came over like i saw you put notes in w/o calling people and i explained the situation#and said and if you saw anything else it was just the thing where theres a whole team dedicated to these customers i just need to cross ref#to our system#i used to call on these it messed everything up and made people upset. i was told to stop it wasnt needed#let the people set to contact those customers do it. and like i said the district guy even said you dont have to contact those customers#fjsnsnsjsna#NOW I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO I FOLLOW THE ORDERS OF WAAA#honestly this wouldnt be that bad if i had more than 3 days to go through like 240 customers#and not 3 full days like 3 5 hour days no breaks down to the last minute#and im still being paid minimum wage like damn i could be doing this in a fancy office with better pay n shi#t
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still your biggest fan. – 송민기.
SYNOPSIS. your boyfriend is on the other side of the globe touring. somehow you fear the cheers of the fans will make him forget about you. so you decide to remind him you are still and will always be his biggest fan
or in which you find a novel way to use your lightstick and send the video to your beloved bf.
mingi x f!reader, smut, mdni
tags. etablished relationship, facetime sex, masturbation (f & m), BLACK UNDERCUT MINGI (!!!!!!!!), jealous + slightly possessive reader, but mingi reassures her (awwww), use of (unconventional) toys (wink wonk im insane pls stop me), pet names, multiple orgasms (f), praises, squirting. wc. 2k
a/n. this mingi has me feral and the concert videos got me in a chokehold. and it's only the first date i need help. also shout out to that one video of yungi saying they use the lightstick to "relax" at night. not proofread.
There was one thing that was absolutely certain about Mingi: that man loved attention. That man lived for the roars of the crowd. When he danced, he was electrified by the cheers of the fans. And you knew your boyfriend was made to be on stage. He enjoyed the attention of fans, hence the fact he was constantly body rolling, hip thrusting and tongue poking. He loved to see the thousands of people thirst for him, he loved looking at all the concert videos all over the internet. He laughed and giggled at the tiktok edits, at the twitter threads, at every comment more over the top than the next.
Usually you don’t mind, you even enjoy them too. You like seeing him happy and fulfilled in his job but today maybe you’re a little insecure. He just flew out to start the American leg of the tour and you’re left behind in this bed that seems so empty. You fear somehow the loud cheers will make him forget about you. You don’t want that. You want to remind him. You want to make sure that today when he goes to sleep the last thing he sees is you.
You looked at the time, your eyes darted to the digital clock on your night stand. At this time he was probably already at the hotel. It was pretty late for you but you wanted to send him a little treat, you knew how Mingi loved when you sent him videos of you playing with yourself and today you might add a little twist.
You didn’t have much time if you wanted him to see the video before he slept…
***
Mingi was spent, true. But he was still pumped full of adrenaline when he stepped out of the shower with the ends of his raven black hair wet, the longer strands of his undercut dripping down. He didn’t even bother stepping into his pajamas, the AC was off and this part of the world in July was pretty hot.
He tucked himself in bed, still wide awake. He looked at his phone, a text from you from several hours ago when you went to bed. You were probably sleeping right now. He debated responding, fearing he would wake you. But he pictures you pouting when you’d wake up in a few hours without a response from him and he couldn’t bear to make you feel that way so he typed a quick answer.
🎀 princess #2: hope the show goes well (ik it will because you gonna kill it cause you the best😌). i lob you. you know that right? dont forget about me ok? <33333333
👸princess minki (real): i could never baby i love you more. hope you have a great day and i miss you baby <3
then for a second the three little dots appeared and Mingi thought he hallucinated it. But then an other text appeared.
🎀 princess #2: i’ll always be your first and your biggest fan
Mingi didn't even have time to reply that he received a video file. He faintly gasped at the thumbnail. It was your legs spread out on his bed. The big play button in the middle of the frame though blocked out the most interesting part and he didn’t even breathe before he played the video.
He continued to hold his breath when he saw you rub your clit throught your white panties. He didn’t know how long you did played with yourself but your panties were completely see through. Your juices were sticking to your folds, the laces barely concealing you anymore. But still, he needed these damn panties out of the way.
He wanted to see you. His hand found his cock on instinct, immediately palming his hardening bulge. And his prayers were answered. You pushed the panties to the side uncovering the most beautiful sight Mingi had ever layed eyes on. He exhaled a long sigh when long strings of slick connected you to the thin fabric of the underwear. How bad he wanted to be there, to stuff your soaked panties into your mouth while he thrusted his thick fingers into you. How bad he wanted to feel you twitch around him. How bad he wanted to hear his name fall from your quivering lips as he brought you to your peak. He wanted you so bad.
But then you grabbed hold of something, something that emitted light… The lightiny? Mingi’s jaw hung open when he saw you bring the handle to your center, rubbing it through your folds, coating it with your juices before bringing it up to your hard clit playing with a little, prying beautiful muffled sounds out of your mouth. Just to bring the handle down again, you took a firm grip of the rounded part and pushed the handle inside your trembling core.
“Fuck” Mingi exhaled as he started pumping his balled fist around his now fully hard cock, he kicked the covers off him just to be able to jerk himself off without resistance.
“Nghhh” you moaned quietly as you bottomed out. “M-Mingi are you watching?” As if you could see him, Mingi nodded vigorously, qmd you gave more purpose to the coming and going of his wrist. “Keep watching me. K-keep- fuck aaaah. Keep looking at me. I’ll make myself cum for you, ok?”
“Fuck yes baby I wanna see it all.” Mingi replied in a strangled breath, his hand going to play with balls, while his other hand held the phone incredibly close to his face. if he could have he would have gone through the screen and right into you.
You started to slowly bounce on the lightstick. You were obviously already really worked up, your pussy was clenching down on the shiny copper handle and the light was perfectly shining on your hard clit, making it obvious that you were pretty close. Red and swollen, ready to explode. Just how he liked.
So you did. In a few seconds your thighs were trembling and your movement became uneven. You started to squirt small translucent spurts, one then two.
“Fuck baby you’re so fucking hot” Mingi breathed and pumped himself faster.
You took the copper handle out and rubbed your clit in tight and fast circles, squirting more translucent liquid and soaking the sheets. Your center quivering around nothing. You slowed down with a sigh and the video stopped.
Mingi felt like he was going to sink into eternal darkness and despair if he didn’t see more of you right now. His cock was twitching in his strong fist, his cockhead was leaking so much precum he wanted you to see him too. He wanted you to know what you did to him.
So he pressed FaceTime. It rang once, twice then you picked up. You looked disheveled and short of breath. Fuck how fucking beautiful you were. Mingi wanted to kiss you all over this pretty face of yours.
“Why do you torture me?” he said a little more whiny than anticipated.
He was so cute with wet hair and his eyebrows meeting on his forehead. He flipped the camera to show you his swollen cock, hard, red and leaking. You bit you lip at the mouth watering sight.
“I just wanted you to remember me. That's all.” you started, your hand finding your folds once again. “Remind you I will always be your biggest fan”
“Fuck how could I forget about you? Are you insane?” he breathed out, his voice sounded strained, in pain almost. You could only imagine how worked up he was and this urgency in his tone compelled you to find a new angle to the video call. You balanced it on the covers and your wet pussy and the mess you made came into view again.
“Fuckkkk” Mingi sighed again, trying his hardest not to be too loud. San was next door and the last thing he wanted was for him to bring up his little intimate session with you tomorrow at breakfast. “You’ve made such a mess. I usually hate it but God I’d give everything to sleep in the wet spot tonight”. You saw him jerk himself off faster, his thumb spreading the precum all over his tip and dragging it down his shaft. Squeezing the head the bring out even more and repeat it again.
“Please show me again” he didn’t intend to sound so desperate but it couldn’t be helped because he in fact was that desperate for you. “Please show me how you fuck yourself with the lightiny”
“O-okay” You brought it back and stuffed it inside your clenching little pussy with a sigh, your other hand spreading your lips apart, making sure Mingi had the first raw VIP view of the show.
“Fuckkkk” he whined again. “You’re so fucking nasty for me, doll”
You chuckled, knowing your little scheme had worked. You knew right now he was only thinking of you. Completely pussy drunk even though he was thousands of miles away.
“I wish it was you inside me right now, Mingming”
“Fuck me too baby” he said strangling his cock tighter, more precum oozing out again. He was close judging by the way he kept on twitching in his own hand. The sight urged you to bounce harder on the handle of the lightstick, your pussy clenching around it, gliding so smoothly in and out of you while your other hand kept on abusing your sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Baby I-I’m close” he said, a certain rasp about his voice that was only giving more weight to his words. His fist was frantically moving along his cock, now mainly focussing on his tip, making the poor thing absolutely miserable: all wet and beet red, close to bursting.
“M-me too” you said, feeling the familiar knot in the pits of your stomach approaching its rupture point. The premise of your orgasm manifested itself in the form of an other small sprut of transparent liquid “Nggghh fuck-” you gasped. “I’m c-cumming again” you whined, rubbing your clit faster, in thighter circles. You ripped the handle out of you and one big squirt came out of your abused little pussy, joining the existing mess in Mingi’s sheets.
“Oh fuck baby” Mingi couldn’t peel his eyes of the screen. “Fuck baby me- Fuck… Me too” He watched as your thighs became weak and as your pretty little pusy gushed out more and more fluids. You were the hottest thing he’s ever seen. And he couldn’t possibly take it anymore. He let himself go. He abruptly stop stroking himself just to let the first big rope of cum sprout out of his slit and crash over his stomach. You moaned louder at the sight. He kept on stroking again, milking more delicious cum out of his twitching red cock, completely repainting his stomach with thick and white cum, grunting as his hips involuntarily thrusted upwards until it all stopped.
When he had caught his breath he approached the phone to show his stomach and scooped some of his spillage between his fingers.
“Look what you did to me? Just cause you got a little jealous of the fans?” he chuckled.
“I did that?” you said appalled, “No you did that! Stop making me jealous and it won't happen again” He flipped the camera again and you couldn't help but to smile mindlessly at the screen. He was a complete wreck, sharp eyes half lidded, bottom lip swollen and red from being bitten and strands of black hair sticking to his forehead. This haircut made him ridiculously hot. A mischievous smirk pulled at his full lips.
“Or…” he trailed off. “I don't this stop and you make me dirty sexy videos after every show”
“Yeah” you said, sarcasm tinting your voice. “Let's see you do that! We’ll see how it goes when you came back” you challenged him. Your smile sent shivers down Mingi’s spine. He loved you but you definitely could be scary sometimes.
“You know what, I changed my mind. I'll just behave and you can reward me when I get home.”
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SYNOPSIS. mingi has a small favor to ask you real quick.
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I love how my first two pmd randomizer teams I characterised them in my head as different flavors of ah goofy and now these new guys are just a bunch of assholes. Just a gaggle of shitheads who think they're better than everyone else. They all hate eachother and think they're the only normal person here. They r also best friends but they do kill eachother on a regular basis.
#rat rambles#I wish that last part was a joke but alas shitty ai moments#also funnily enough dusknoir got randomized to mightyana again (he also did in the last one) so thats convienent#but yeah mantis and moth are no memories rip buddies and their partymembers spider and gnat are their gay worsties (seperate not dating)#moth used to be a different pokemon they know that much but they dont remember anything beyond that#but yeah moth is very polite and anxious to most but to their partymembers they r a lot more blunt and snappy#they value their time greatly and always want to cut to the point when they can and they are also incredibly power hungry#mantis is very Tired and also blunt but they care less abt not upsetting higher ups so they just speak their mind always#this initially pissed moth off but as mantis started saying the things they actually wanted to say for them they tollerated it more#spider is a mismagius and hes very smooth talking thinks hes soooo cool type but he still has a short temper#he also loves poking fun at the others and coincidentally if any of them are killed by another its usually him#and lastly the newest recruit gnat the leafeon. she is loud and confident and is also very ambitious#she is a masterful lier except for the fact that shes always obviously lying but ppl just believe her anyways?? and it drives mantis mad#together they may get the job done but they also may just all kill eachother before they can finish one mission lol#also Ive found so fucking many gold masks its stupid theyre fucking everywhere#Ive also found two space globes which is pretty sick#since I have my full team assembled now Im gonna need to chose out a new held item for mantis tho so spider might lose his space globe rip#if I can get the trap seeing glasses whatever theyre called though he can keep it those things are so fucking useful#its honestly less the trap showing part and more the hidden stairs showing part for me thats twice the stairs on each floor#well theyd be there anyways but like yknow what I mean
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