#im trying to stop doing the thing where i worry and read too much into things and try to change my behavior to avoid some sort of disaster

[mellotronmkll]

Very unhappy today but it's not about anything that I can control so I just have to stop worrying!!!! Which is easier said than done

[nicholasgoodgirl]

sin? maybe - father charlie

summary: your priest takes you home and it leads to other things

warning: p in v, oral (m receiving), face fucking, after care, virginity loss.

a/n: chat idk how to feel abt this at all and am too scared to read it back. i swear if i spelling his name wrong the whole time. im deleting this acc off the face of the earth

3:23pm

you were waiting in the rain; unbothered than anything. but there was no denying the tempeture change as the rain continued it was beginning to become unbearable. five minutes turning to ten, ten turning to fifteen. your mom still never came

you walked back into the church drenched from all the rain. your white dress sticking to you, it was still cold in the church nonetheless.

"y/n?" you turn around to your name being called "what are you still doing here?" father charlie asked.

"oh my mom never came to get me" she probably drank to much and passed out somewhere, it was embarrassing to admit but thats the only reason you went to church, so you can be far from her and to be nothing like her.

"you're all wet. how long have you been out there?" you shrug at his question. he tilted his head in observation looking you up and down; his eyes lingering longer on your breast.

that would have normally made you uncomfortable if it were anyone else, but it was father charlie and everyone knew him as the 'hot priest' and they weren't wrong either.

he clears his throat "uh I'll give you a ride home" he gave you a quick smile then grabbed his keys off the alter and on the way out grabbing his umbrella.

he put his hand on your lower back guiding you under the umbrella. he gave you the keys so you can unlock the car "why don't you start the car up while you're at it"

"oh i dunno how" you declined the offer politely but he insisted that you did it anyways so he can hold the umbrella for you.

you open the car door and bend over putting the upper half of your body inside the car and trying to start it up like that instead of actually sitting down. the key wouldn't really turn so you put your knee on the seat getting into the car more. while doing this you could gradually feel your dress raise. something in you just knew he was looking up your dress

you give up "i can't get it to start" he lets out a low chuckle and takes the keys from you and gestures for you to get out the car. you hold the umbrella while he gets in the car to start it up. the engine cuts on and he takes the umbrella from you and walks you to the passanger side and shuts the door behind you.

--

3:34 pm

in the car everything he did and had in his car intrigued you. the way he drives with one hand on the wheel and the other hand rested on his leg. the blankets he had in the backseat, the rosemary cross that was hanging from the rearview mirror

"whats your house adress?" he questioned parking at the stop sign, waiting for your answer.

you shrug again "you don't know where you live?" he probed. you did but it was embarrassing to think about how if your moms boyfriend saw you with a guy he would beat you.

"do you wanna come to my house instead" his question was almost hesitant but i accepted the offer with a smile.

--

4:01 pm

his house was nothing fancy, the aura of the place was comforting. he started a fire in the fireplace and it set a more warm tone in the room.

"you can use my shower. just walk down the hall, it's to your right. I'll bring you a warm towel and clothes"

you walk down the hall and take a turn to the right and find his bathroom. it was definitely not like the bathroom at your house. it was clean the, the scent of father charlie lingered.

you undress then walk over to the shower putting it on hot. a couple minutes into the warm water hitting your body changing your body temperature from cold to warm there was knocks at the door.

"It's unlocked!" i yelled from the shower. and the door opens "i have no actual clothes that you would probably wear to bed but you can wear one of my shirts" ,,don't even worry about it" you reassure

it didn't matter to you, you actually liked the idea of prancing around in that mans shirt. you couldn't forgive yourself for how bad you wanted him to fuck you in the shower.

"well call me if you need anything" he opens the door to leave out. "wait!- wait.. father charlie"

"you can just call me charlie" he corrects. "could you maybe talk to me about your day or anything i don't wanna be alone right now"

you could hear father charlie chuckle at the question "sure. why not"

he began talking about his day while i cleaned myself off. he went into detail about how he made his breakfast and how precise everything had to be. meanwhile i just couldn't get the thought of him talking me through sex.

"you're doing so well"

"how does that feel"

"you need me to slow down" the thought didn't stop it felt so wrong but you needed him. you were giving him hums to let him know you were still listening.

you turn the water off "can you hand me my towel" your hand reaches out of the curtain and you can feel the towel being placed in your hand "thank you"

"can i-" he was cut off by you walking out the shower with just your towel on. he cleared his throat "I'm gonna go" he reached for the door but you grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"will you stop it" he snaps. both his hands grab your arm "stop! im trying so hard not to sin but for fucks sake you're making it nearly impossible"his words comes flying out faster than you could process

"oh.." you mumbled. "y'know we can do something about your little problem" you look down at the buldge in his pants.

he wasnt wearing his vestmant anymore he was just in a black button up with some black formal pants making it more noticeable.

"fucking hell" he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "such a slut. i thought you would have been good. looked so pure" he spat almost like it wasn an insult. "guess not"

"have you ever touched youreslf?" the question wasnt one you would like to answer cause you always felt shame afterwards but nodded anyways avoiding eyes contact; not proud of your doings.

"of course you do" he breathed out "on your knees" ,,what?" you question unsure if you heard him right

"baby you have been so sweet to me so far and I'd hate it if i have to repeat myself"

you drop to your knees and he unbuckles his belt not breaking eye contact with you once. father charlie pulls his pants down and his underwear.

you grab his dick and put it in your mouth. hallowing your cheeks out "look at you taking me so well" he tangles his hand in your hair, grabbing ahold of it and pushing your head forward causing you to gag; you could feel him touching the back of your throat.

"lord please forgive me" he whispered so low it's a suprise you even heard the words come out his mouth

at this point he was just fucking your face, he was watching as his cock disappeared into your mouth. after a while your eyes began to water.

he pulls you away from him "stand up" ,,did i do something wrong?" you ask, letting your towel drop, standing to your feet. wanting to fix any mistake you made along the way. "no sweetheart, you did just fine i just wanna be inside you instead"

he turns you over but you weren't as thrilled about this as he probably was. you were a virgin and too scared to tell him.

he bends you over the counter and you grab ahold of it for support. he lines himself up with you and pushes in

"so fucking tight" he groaned. "wait-" you hit the counter top with your hand "please just wait" you whine

he stops what he's doing and waits for your signal to go "you can move.." my words come out sounding almost strangled.

he pushed in and out of you and for a second you can hear his breath hitch "are you on your period?"

"what!? no" you look behind you and see his lips slowly curl into a smirk "you're a virgin aren't you?" ,,mhm" you nod "even better" he gloated

you could feel his dick hit a spot that made your toes curl. the burning sensation goes away with each rut. you let a few whimpers slip and a grunt with every thrust; your body jolting forward.

he gripped your hips tightly to allow himself to pound into you. you could have sworn you felt his tip hit your cervix.

the sounds of skin slapping against eachother flooded the bathroom "you're such a slut. letting your priest fuck you over a bathroom counter"

he pulled your hair back putting you into a deeper arch, to hit your sweet spot. a guttural moan leaves your lips "oh fuck" you moan.

father charlies hand goes down to your clit rubbing firm circles, sharp uneven breaths pulled through you as you could feel your orgasm approching.

with no warning his warm seed coats your insides, as he rides out his high. his fingers continues to rub in circular motion which makes you finish next; unfolding right there.

you hold his hand to stop him. "im done i can't take anymore" you whisper.

"im sure" he pulls out letting a hiss escape, then walks over to the shower and letting the water run again. the both of you get in and shower together.

he got done before you and while you were still getting clean he made you a snack.

--

5:59 pm

you two were laid in bed. your head resting on father charlies chest while he traces light shapes on your skin.

"what do i tell my mom" you ask. "whatever you want sweet girl" he kissed your head. what were you gonna tell your mom, you were with another man in his shirt. and overall he's the priest of the church you go to.

[reidmania]

inbetween | spencer reid

good riddance x spencer reid one shot series master list

summary ; after months over talking over email, you and spencer finally meet in person.

warnings ; reader & spencer fall in love over emails, meeting in person, insecure reader, insecure spencer, worries about not being enough, pretty much just pure fluff tbh.

an ; in between yall. this song. this is the first oneshot in the good riddance x spencer reid one shot series!! while i waiting for the poll to finish!!

part one, part two, part three

‘I just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring. For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two. two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new. ‘i wish that you could see 'em, their faces lighten up their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care but he knows her name, she knows he'll always be there’

<>

The email rang up at exactly 5:30, exactly when you expected it to. You were sitting at your desk at work, knees pulled to ur chest as you spun on the desk chair. Your coworkers paid no mind to your antics, after working in the safe office for years, with each other. They were used to it by now.

You chewed at your lip as you refreshed your email when the clock changed to exactly 5:30, a wide smile dawned your face when you read the email, you heart ached with longing as your eyes traced over the words on the screen, your stomach tightening and your heart clenching.

Sent from dr.spencerreid@gmail.com at 5:30pm

Hi.

I don’t know when this will send because I’m writing it while on the jet, probably as we get lower and more towards landing, I’ll spare you the scientific details. We only got back from a case this morning, early. Which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Im sorry.

We got a case in Maryland, which I remember you telling me, is where you live. I know I should probably just ask for your phone number but I kind of enjoy the emailing thing. It’s a lot less nerve racking because I can try to pass it off as professional, even though a lot of the time our conversations aren’t.

I actually don’t think we have ever had a professional conversation. Which is a good thing. I really enjoy our conversations no matter what we are talking about. I really enjoy talking to you.

I hope this isn’t too forward but I wanted to know if theres any chance I could see you while I’m in Maryland for this case. I don’t know when it would be or how long I’d be able to see you for, but I do really want to see you. If thats okay with you.

I guess I should give you my number, so you know I’m not some creepy old man. That would be ironic since I work at the FBI and my job is to stop people like that… I don’t know.

Heres my number, 023387677

Love, Spencer.

Your stomach tightened at the idea of seeing him in person. You never admitted it, but you knew he wasn’t an old man, you knew exactly who he was. You made the decision to google his name 6 months ago, when the two of you first started emailing back and forth after he accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person and you replied. It started as just telling him he had sent it to the wrong person, then he thanked you and apologised and made a joke and then the conversation just flowed.

You had been having conversations with Spencer Reid for six months and you felt like you knew more about him than you did yourself. He told you about his day, and about things he had been through, He opened up to you about his addiction and his mom and you opened up to him about your own trauma and issues.

Spencer Reid was your best friend and you had never met him. You had never even heard his voice. You only had seen his face on google when you searched up ‘Spencer reid FBI’ and a photo came up, he looked younger than you assumed in it, seeing the photo was from a few years ago. You felt slightly bad since you knew he could google you and probably come up empty handed — you had the upper hand.

You look at the clock as it inches closer to six o-clock when you finish work. A boring office job, you often complained to Spencer about. It was ironic since his job literally traumatised him, and yet you complained about the boring desk job, although he never ever compared, he would listen and comfort you after a bad day no matter what, just like you did for him.

You don’t reply to the email he sent as you typed the number he sent into your phone, saving the contact under ‘spence’ The nickname that had developed only weeks into the two of you talking. You send him a text, letting him know it was you, saying hi.

“Phone.” You hear your boss, warning you about using your phone at work, you lift your head an apologetic smile on your face as you close your phone, placing it face down on your desk as you close your email and return to your work after muttering out a sheepish, ‘Sorry!’

Spencer is sitting in a conference room of the police station in Maryland. He didn’t know it but he was only two blocks away from the office you worked. He never usually cared to check his phone while working — nothing could be as important as the case.

Until you, until now.

He found himself hanging out to feel the buzz in his pocket, he found himself checking his phone just in case maybe he missed the message. Just in case you did message.

He also checked his email a lot.

“Whats up with boy wonder?” Derek asked as he spun a chair to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair as he looked around at the other team members. Spencer focus on anything other than the case.

“He gave mystery girl his number” Emily said, patting Spencers shoulder softly to get his attention as she walked past him, placing a coffee down in front of him. Spencer noticed how it was his normal order — despite the fact lately he had been getting your order, after he found out what it was. It made him feel a little bit closer to you.

“Oo, Okay lover boy.” Derek hummed approvingly, raising his eyebrow slightly as he looked down at the boy. Spencer sighed as he let back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table as he checked to get no message. “Nothing yet?” Emily asked, knowing Spencer had been stressing since he sent the email on the jet, nearly two hours ago.

He didn’t know it hadn’t even delivered until a few minutes ago.

“Shes probably just busy” Spencer muttered as he checked his watch for the time. 5:33pm, you’d be at work.

Derek shared a look with Emily, both with teasing smiles on their faces. They had watched Spencer obsess over the girl for the past 6 months, even after he tried to hide it for the first few. He did a horrid job, they all noticed him smiling at his computer and typing away more often than ever, they noticed his focus slight adverted. It took a bit but they eventually got it out of him when you didn’t email him back for a week and he was going insane with worry that maybe you were ghosting him, or that you were hurt.

He confided in his team, you emailed him a few days later saying your wifi went down and none of your emails were going through. He was instantly relieved.

His phone buzzed on the table, 5:35pm. His hand instantly reached out for his phone. His eyes widened and his lip twitched upwards as he read the message that lit his screen.

“And lover boy is in” Derek whispered to Emily, loud enough that Spencer could hear that only ended up in Spencer sending him a glare, before typing out a reply and sending it, asking to call you tonight when he got finished.

“Alright, We got a lead” Hotch said entering the room.

You leant against the back of your head board, your hair wet and dripping down the back of your neck as you waited nervously for call to ring through your phone. You were almost terrified of what the conversation might hold. You were glad you were calling before you agreed or disagreed to meeting him, you could feel out whether or not it might be awkward or not.

You almost jumped out of your skin as your phone started ringing, anxiety pooled in your stomach as your skin flushed hot, causing the drops of water on the back of your neck feel as if it was burning the skin. You reached out for your phone that rested on your bed side table, answering the call.

“Hi.” You muttered out a breath of air. You couldn’t even help but smile as the realisation dawned on you. You were talking to Spencer. Finally, actually talking to him.

You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone before some shuffling. “Hold on” He mumbled out, you stomach fluttered at his voice as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you bit back a smile.

“Okay.” You said, you heard some more shuffling before the sound of a door closing, then a creek. And then a breath.

“Hi” He settled on, you sat up a bit, crossing your legs as his word came out almost breathy and nervous. It made your chest thump against your ribcage so much it ached. “Sorry— I should’ve waited till I was in my hotel room to call, I was excited— Sorry” He said.

You could hear the nerves in his voice and all it did was make your cheeks beat a rosy hue. “It’s okay. I was nervous” You admit softly, you try to hide the slight embarrassment in your voice but it fails you as your words come out small.

You hear him chuckle. You think the sound genuinely makes your mind fall empty of any coherent thoughts. “You don’t have to be nervous” He spoke so softly as if his words were an exhale he had been holding in.

“But I am” You muttered.

“Me too.” He said honestly. You found comfort in the fact he cared enough about this interaction to be nervous about it. You went to run your hand through your hair but paused with you felt the coldness — it was still very wet from your shower.

“Good” You sighed out, voice almost a whisper. You didn’t know why you were speaking so quietly, there was no one else in your house. There was no reason to be as quiet as you were.

“Is good that I’m nervous?” Spencer asked, you could hear the teasing in his voice. It made your head spin and the words get caught as you shook your head, before remembering he couldn’t see you.

“Yes- No- no. No.” You muttered out, “Its uh- Its not good that your nervous— I- Its just good that you care” You scrambled out, stuttering over your words as you grew flustered. It made you want to turn into your pillow and scream.

You heard him laugh, making your face screw up. “Shut up.” You muttered out as it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was laughing at you scrambling over your words, your free hand came up to cover your face as your cheeks felt on fire.

“No- Im sorry. Im sorry. Of course I care, you know I care” He said softly as he collected his laughter, his voice dripping honesty for a moment as he spoke genuinely in a way that made your knees feel weak — Thank god you weren’t standing. You were silent for a moment as a smile dawned on your face.

“Tell me about your day.” He requested gently. You heard some more shuffling you could only assume he was getting comfortable in bed. You pictured it and it made your stomach burn with longing. Wishing it wasn’t just an image in your head.

And you did, you told him about your day and he told you about yours; the conversation flowed simply and sweetly from then on. He teased you whenever you stuttered over your words, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

You and him spoke until your voice was quiet and drowsy with sleep, until your eyes were fluttering shut and you went unresponsive for a moment before he asked if you were asleep and you would wake up to the sound of his voice, muttering out a no, to which he would chuckle, and tell you to go to sleep.

When you fell asleep, he waited ten minutes to make sure you were really asleep before hanging up. His heart full as he fell asleep smiling.

Sorry I fell asleep. If i didn’t throw you off completely and you still want to see me, im free any day after 6, when i finish work.

Spencer smiled at the message. The acceptance. You were accepting meeting him, seeing him. He couldn’t fathom the idea of anything you doing ever throwing him off. You had wiggled your way into his chest months ago, and you stayed consuming every part of him everyday since. He didn’t see that changing any day soon, or ever.

He sent you an address to a bar Derek suggested the team going to after work. He didn’t know if maybe it was too forward, or might be awkward with his team there, but at least if it didn’t go well there was people around.

He closed his phone as he waited for your reply, his mind replaying the conversation he had with you last night, how sweet you sounded, how your laugh made his heart clench, how whenever you said his name or spoke a little louder he felt light headed, unable to focus on anything but you.

There was anxiety in his stomach when he realised the two of you never quite talked about what it all meant. What the months of conversation back and forth was. He realised he didn’t know what you wanted. What you expected.

Maybe you just saw him as a friend, maybe to you the conversation is nothing more than friendly. Honestly, if that was the case Spencer didn’t think he would be able to deny you of that. He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if it caused a slight ache in his chest. He had told you things he couldn’t imagine telling anyone else, he trusted you in a way he didn’t know possible, and it may be stupid, maybe naive, but Spencer didn’t care.

The way he felt for you took over any ounce of doubt in his mind, it overtook the insecurity welling in his mind, that maybe you wouldn’t like him, not the way he liked you.

He had never felt so much for a person. He had never felt so much point blank. He could hardly fathom you feeling for him near the amount he felt for you.

Your hands traveled over your jeans softly as your palms grew sweaty as you stepped inside the bar. Thanking the guy you held it open for you as he walked out. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people, the music playing and the people chatting. You probably should have gotten changed first instead of coming straight after work but you were too nervous and didn’t want to give yourself time to dwindle in your insecurities then chicken out.

You manoeuvred your way through the people, quiet apologies leaving your lips as you looked around for Spencer, or anyone who looks like they might be an FBI agent.

What does an FBI agent look like? you thought, as you let out a sigh, finally getting out of the crowd of people as you got to the back of the bar, a lot more free of space. A few people around, standing at tables. You skimmed over for a moment as you tried to catch any glimpse of the boy that you could.

You heard your name, making you spin on your heels. You saw a dark haired girl smiling at you. Well that isn’t spencer.

“Yes?” You said, smiling at her as you tried to hide the anxiety building in your veins. Your hand coming to push hair off your face softly as you try to focus on the girl in front of you. She grins widely, “Spencer is over there, you looked like you were looking for someone…” She said, my smile instantly widened as you looked over to where she nudged her head.

your breath got caught in your throat as your eyes settled on him, the photo didn’t do him justice in any way. His hair was messy and slightly grown out, he was engrossed in a conversation with who you could only assume was Derek Morgan, who Spencer had told you about. His tie was crooked in his suit as he lifted his arm to sip the drink in his hand.

you tear my eyes away as you look at the lady who is smiling at you. “Happy with that?” She asks. It takes you a moment to recognise her as Emily, whom Spencer had also told you about. You can hardly put it into words how your chest feels like its gonna explode as your heart thumps.

“He is gorgeous.” You breathe out, shaking your head as words fail you, your eyes trail back to him for a moment to see him laughing, you see his head turn towards the door, as if he is waiting for you to walk through them.

Emily smiles, patting your shoulder softly, “Cmon Mystery girl” She said, you pay little attention to the nickname as she encourages you to walk towards the table with her. Your legs feel like Jelly with every step that you take, your stomach twisting in the familiar feeling of anxiety.

When she pauses at the table your breath hitches. “Oi Reid” She mutters, both he and Derek turns their head towards her, “Look who I found” She says softly, hand brushing over your shoulder.

Spencers eyes skip over to yours and you watch an emotion pull his features. An emotion you can’t quite place and it makes your stomach ache at the uncertainty, insecurity creeping up the back of your neck.

“Hi” You breathe out as you look at him. Theres a moment of silence before he is pushing away from the table and walking around to you. His arms around you the moment you are in reach and it makes your muscles tense slightly before relaxing completely in his hold as you wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him back.

Emily and Derek watch in amusement for a moment, smiling when they see the look on Spencer’s face. The one you couldn’t place the one they knew all too well.

He was in love.

He was in love before seeing you, he knew that but watching you stand there grinning at him made him all the more sure about it. His hand rested on your waist as he pulled back from the hug to look at your face.

“Hi” He whispered back.

You chewed at your lip at you bit back the wide smile that tried to force its way into your features. His hand traveled up to your face before he could stop it hand cupping your face gently.

You eased, leaning into his touch the warmth of his hand feeling gentle against the soft skin of your cheek. “Y-You- I- Hi.” He stuttered this time.

You grinned, “Cat got your tongue?” You ask, teasing him like he would every-time you stuttered over the phone. He just grins in response.

“No. You’re beautiful” He said, eyes dancing over your face, he looked at you like he was trying to memories every little detail. Your stomach tightens and your knees felt weak as the compliment left his mouth. You had been told that before, but it felt different coming from him. He said it with honesty and sincerity.

“So are you” You said back before hugging him tightly again. He didn’t complain at all, instead his arms fell tightly around your waist as he held you against him, as if he was scared that if he let go you would disappear.

The night went on, you stayed by spencer’s side, his hand on yours or around your shoulder gently as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you being next to him. You never complained — you took it all as a compliment and leant into his touch.

“Are you cold?” Spencer asked as you and him walked outside of the bar, hand in hand. he noticed the way you shivered as the cold hair hit the skin of your bare arms. You turn your head to look up at him, the look in his eye enough to make your chest clench around the fat of your heart.

“A little” You admit. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, but spencer was instantly pulling off his suit jacket for you, slugging it gently over your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street. You paused in your steps as you looked up at him.

“Thank you.” You say.

“Its okay- I don’t want you to be cold” He said softly. You couldn’t help but smile at his kindness, but you shook your head. “For that too— But I meant, for asking to see me. Thank you for thinking of me when you heard about where the case was — for talking to me everyday. Thank you for being my best friend Spence” You said softly as you lean against your car as you and him stop in front of it.

His lip twitches upwards into a smile as his hand drops yours instead resting softly on your lips. “I always think of you.” He admits, eyes on yours.

Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat. “Spencer.” You say softly.

He looks at you, really looks at you. He is seeing you. He is seeing every little thing you have told him over the last six months, every little detail about you there was to know, and all he could think about was he wanted more, he wanted to know you more.

“Yeah?” He says, his voice a whisper.

You feel anxiety pool in your stomach as the question lingers on the tip of your tongue. There was a pull towards him you couldn’t ignore, the same pull you felt when you received his email, six months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. You’d count the hours but you figured that was more his style.

“You can say no, I want you to know that” You said, you wanted to make it perfectly clear that his response to this was completely up to him and you didn’t want to feel pressured. “Can I kiss you?” You ask.

His lips are on yours before you can even finish the question. One hand of his travelling to the small of your back to bring you in closer while the other tangles in your hair, cradling the back of your neck. Your hands instantly cup his face as you press your lips against him. Your lips together saying more than words ever could.

This, right here, him, right now.

It was everything and more.

[n0bluev]

The night sky can only be overshadowed by a star (its star.). A star of all things, the one thing that cannot be allowed to see the night of the sky, angled to be hidden away behind dawn and dusk. The night leaves quietly (but is cursed to come back ; avoiding is just like following when an orbit is shared.)

A star can only go off explosively, spectacularly. (Then, collapsed in on itself, away from the world to see (finally part of the shadow the night cast) it seems the bare core is at peace with never bringing day back : darkness soothes.)

Gojo is like a star - bright, hot, shining. Geto is like the night sky - mysterious, deep, endless.

[sapphicmsmarvel]

azriel crack headcannons!

im alive!

note: use of “tits” instead of “breasts”, i hate that word yall. 

-You love being mushy with him. Complimenting his eyes, his hands, his voice. He gets all blushy and squeaky and it’s so cute. 

-He activated cuteness aggression which confused him at first but he secretly loves how obsessed you are with him. (he’s never had anyone be so obsessed with him) 

-You both give each other flowers. The first time you gave him his own bouquet he was giggling and kicking his feet in private. 

-You have trouble trying new food, so he will let you try a bit of his meal if he gets something new. That way you don't “waste” (even though he has enough money to buy velaris at this point) money. Even if he insists you don't need to worry about money. 

-You like asking him insane questions. 

“How do you feel about me wearing revealing clothes in public?” 

He shrugged. “I can fight and you look beautiful in anything.”

“If i got a new piercing-“

“My love, it’s your body. But if you pierce your nipples i’m going to have so much fun.”

-You got your nipples pierced. You couldn’t decide on what jewelry to get. So you bought two pairs. One, for the healing process that were barbells with blue gems. 

For after, barbells with an ‘A’ on both ends of the jewelry. That man audibly moaned when he saw that specific piece of jewelry. 

-He has loud sneezes. 

-He’s afraid of spiders. 

-You two 100% gossip. 

-You’ll read smutty novels to each other in funny voices. This is the only way Azriel discovered that he can make an incredible high pitched voice. 

-He gets the zoomies at random times. You know it’s brewing when the shadows start to practically vibrate in the air. 

-If you have your hair up, he or his shadows will play with your baby hairs that escape the hairstyle. 

-Speaking of the shadows, they’ll just sit on your waist like a belt and just be part of whatever outfit you have on. Or a necklace (not in a kinky way you dirty birds) 

((but like, that too))

-Speaking of things being taken as kinky. He stretches you out. You have a disability that worsens when you don't do your daily stretches (sciatica nerve damage gang rise up) so he forces you to do them. 

-As in pins you down and forces your body to stretch out the nerve. 

“It’s almost like you like to be in pain.” He admonishes as he pushed on your glute. 

“I’m just lazy.” You admit. 

He smacks your ass, causing you to yelp. “Well, I don't like seeing my love in pain, so stop being lazy.” 

-He may be a stoic warrior, but he’s also a guy. He loves titties. 

-He’ll burrow into them when he’s upset. 

-When your cycle happens, your tits get sore and swollen. So he’ll massage them, suck on them, anything. 

-You wear lip balm a lot. You just have a thing where a tube needs to be on you at all times. He personally prefers when you wear a balm that’s vanilla or like a baked good. The minty balms he really doesn’t like the taste of.  

-Usually, he is the exact opposite of lazy. However, you’ve turned him into a lazy sunday morning man. Or really, any day he wants to sleep in, he does now. You’re just so warm and sweet and sleepy he can’t resist it! 

-You sprawl out in bed. You starfish over the entire bed if he gets up for the bathroom or water in the middle of the night. To get you back to your side, all he has to do is poke your side and you curl in on yourself. 

He giggles (yes, giggles) every single time. 

-He already is a mischievous man, but with you the silliness hits an all time high. 

-Random ass spankings, he bean dips you, when he works out wearing a shirt, he’ll take the shirt off and throw it at you. So you have a musty sweaty ass shirt coming at you. 

-You always call his shadows “little stinkers” and he loves it. 

-They’ll move things to higher shelves to force you to ask Azriel for help getting them.  

The man loves leaning over you, your sweet ass pressed against him as he reaches. 

-Sometimes, you’ll just stare at him and wonder how this beautiful man is yours. 

But that’s okay, because he stares at you the same way. 

[itz-mfkn-de]

could you do a theo nott x ravenclaw!reader where he helps her study for a big test? but he ends up just "distracting" her ??

Yes yes yes yes yes I love u and ur brain this is amazing.

\\STUDY BUDDY// T.N

Warnings- sex, kissing, cussing, Italian, yah that’s it

TY FOR THE REQUEST ALSO IM WORKING ON THE OTHERS SORRY FOR TAKING FORVER IVE BEEN SO BUSY😭 but i love you all and i promise i am working on them.

——

You sat in your dorm room, the books around you swallowing your surroundings. You had been studying for the past couple hours and you had no intentions of stopping. This test determined if you passed the class or not, you couldn’t let yourself fall behind, not after you’d worked so hard to get to the top.

Your brows furrowed while you re read over the chapter info, trying your best to imbed it into your brain.

Your intense focus was broken by the light knocks on your door, and you knew exactly who it was.

You sighed softly and got up from your desk. You unlocked the door and slowly opened it, making eye contact with a certain brunette not long after.

“Theo, I thought you had plans with friends?” You said with a soft smile.

He walked past you and planted a kiss on your forehead, his hands tracing your waist.

“ I did, but I missed my girl,” he mumbled as his body flopped on your bed “Missed you, bella.”

“I missed you too Theo,” you walked up to him to give him a soft kiss, just wanting to feel his lips against your own for a quick moment.

He moaned once he felt the warmth of your mouth meet his, hands roaming slowly under your shirt.

You pulled back and grabbed his hands before they travelled and lower.

“No, i have to study, Theodore,” you said strictly “I can’t fail this test.”

He let out a groan.

“Amore, when have you ever failed a test? Not once, and I don’t think this is any different from before.” He replied while putting your hands on his chest and continuing.

His lips ghosted along the Side of your neck leaving you breathless.

“Theodore..I really need to study.” You grumbled as you made little attempt to push him back.

He left soft sloppy kisses where his warm breath had resided.

“Mmm, but you’re so smart already, bambina..my smart girl.” He smiled into your neck, loving how flustered you had become.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Every word that left his mouth was meticulously chosen just to make your knees weak, and Salazar save you, it was working.

“Nuh uh, I’m not letting you sweet talk me.” You stated while completely pulling yourself away from Theodore, much to his dismay.

“I have to study,” you looked at him with a glare and went back to your desk.

Every part of your body was currently on fire. You needed him in every sense of the word, but you knew you needed to finish studying first.

You tried your best to focus on your book infront of you but your mind kept wandering else where.

You heard a couple footsteps but paid no mind to whatever Theodore had decided to occupy himself with.

A couple seconds passed before you turned your head to see Theodore pulling up a chair and sitting next to you.

“Theodore, what are you doing?” You asked with a tinge of annoyance, but you couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he looked at you like that.

“ I want to help you study,” he stated while noticing your doubtful glare “I really do, no games I promise, principessa.” He assured you.

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes at his boyish grin he let slip across his face.

You began reading the questions out loud, allowing him to help you answer a few of them aswell.

“Let’s make it fun, yeah?” He asked after another handful of questions had been answered.

“How do you mean?” You asked while writing a few things down with your quill.

“I’ll worry about that, you keep reading.” He ordered softly, his hands moving the hair away from the side of your neck he was facing.

You did your best to ignore him and went back to the book, focusing on the words instead of your very needy boyfriend’s hand creeping up your thigh.

His lips continued where’d they’d left off from earlier , finding specific spots that got you squirming and focusing on them.

“Theodore.. I t—I told you I need to study..” you managed to get out in between your harsh breaths.

“Mm, you work so hard, can’t have my Bella ragazza overworked…” he groaned, his hands tracking under your skirt.

“I—i” you tried to to get a complaint out, but Theodore was quick to shut you up once his hands reached your already wet core.

He let out a gutteral moan at the feeling of your wetness coating his fingers.

“See how wet you are baby? Let your self relax…let me help you.” He whispered in your ear as he pulled his hands back and lifted you from the chair.

You yelled as your back hit the bed, him finding his place on top of you not too long after.

His lips wasted no time in connecting to yours, tongue and teeth clashing against eachother with raw need being their motivation.

His hands slipped back down to your core, pulling your skirt above your hips.

Every one of your nerves felt as if it were being set on fire, the arsonist being Theodore not and his Godsend hands.

He gently rubbed your clit and discard of your panties somewhere in the room, not giving much mind to the thin layer of fabric that blocked him from what he wanted.

You shivered as his long slender fingers played with your clit, teasing you to no end.

“Bel bambino, all worked up, I’m sorry I didn’t help you sooner.” He cooed at your flustered face.

“Theo..please.” You moaned once his mouth made contact with your neck again.

“Please what, Bella, let me hear you say what you want.” He grunted through his clenched jaw as he slipped two finger into your dripping hole.

“Mio dio, sei così bagnato.” He mumbled under his breath.

You gasped at the feeling of his fingers stretching you out.

You arched your back off the bed as he continued his ministrations.

“I want you too fuck me…please.” You begged while your nails dug into his shoulders.

“Salazar fucking save me, well when you beg like that, how could I say no, Amore?” Theodore teased as he pulled his hands away from you to undo his pants.

You whined at the absence of his fingers but he was quick to pull down his boxers and push his tip against you.

He looked at you through his long eyelashes, as if asking for permission.

“Please.” Was all you could muster out before he started to slowly push into you with a hiss leaving his lips.

Your head lulled back as you felt the stretch of his thick cock set in. No matter how many times you to had fucked, you’d never get sued to when he fist pushes in.

“Santa merda, you’re so fucking tight..” he growled into your ear as he slowly pulled back only to push in a little harder than before.

You let out a moan, one louder than intended, but Theodore was quick to shut you up with his mouth on yours.

The kiss was sloppy, teeth and tongue met in a harsh collision, as his thrusts began to pick up pace.

Your hands gripped the sheets, trying to resurface yourself. Theos thrust became relentless, giving you no time to catch your breath at all.

His grip on your chin was replaced by wet sloppy kisses. His hands found their place next to your head.

“Theo I c— oh my fuck.” You whimpered out.

“Cmon, Bella, let go f’me.” He slurred out through his gritted teeth while whispering some Italian curses under his breath.

Your back arched from the bed as you sucked in a harsh breath of air, feeling everything in your body set on fire.

Your head spun as you rode out your high through theos thrust.

He quickly pulled out and came on your stomach, flopping down next to you.

You stared at the ceiling while you caught your breath.

“You are never allowed to study with me again.” You joked at Theodore, turning your body on its side to face him.

He gave you his signature grin, kissing you like you were the only girl in the world.

[miaoua3]

hey im sorry but can you make a hcs like the one you did for seungcheol and make it for mingyu? im sorry and i wanna tell you i love all of your writing so baddddd hehe keep on writing girllll im rooting for you

hi! first of all thank you so much for the nice words! you’re support really means a lot to me guys, it’s the reason why keep on going even on the days where i feel tired and not motivated enough to do it😭🫶

second of all, by “hcs like the one you did for seungcheol” i feel like you’re talking about the spicy one’s? but since someone already asked me for both soft and spicy one’s i hope you won’t mind that i will do soft hcs as well?

anyway, again, thank you so much for your support, hope you enjoy this!

Mingyu Boyfriend Headcanons:

•(sfw! hcs):

will literally follow you around the house all the time, you could be doing some chores and he will just follow you, maybe help a little, and yap 100 miles per hour, and when you don’t pay attention he will pull on your shirt until you look at him and say while pouting “babe you aren’t even listening to me, pay attention to me 3:(“

smitten, in love and absolutely whipped are some of the ways to describe mingyu since he met you and you two started dating, he’s always just staring at you with his big boba eyes and smiling gently, if it were socially acceptable (read: if the members weren’t around) he would probably be kicking his feet too

the cuddliest teddy bear ever, he will hug you no matter what you are doing- standing in front of a hot stove with boiling oil sprinkling everywhere? he’s on your back, hunched due to his height and leaning his head on your own (also complaining when a bit of oil sprinkles on his arms), standing in front of him and scolding him about something? his hands are locked around your waist while he pouts at you for scolding him instead of kissing him :( you get the gist of it lol

goes without saying but he’s constantly cooking you-breakfast, lunch either to bring to work or at home, and dinner, he’s constantly cooking for you, making you taste test everything and absolutely cooking way too much than you can eat, if you try to cook something for him for a change because you feel bad that he’s cooking that much when his schedule is much more packed than yours he will just be like “ 3:( baby what did i say about this?”

he’s so hyperactive that sometimes you have hard time catching up to him, he constantly wants to be doing something, be it sports or go out with friends and sometimes you just want to rot in your bed for 3 days straight- and ofc he won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, it’s just that he will probably pout all the time while doing the said activities and come home earlier because he missed you too much

hugs you to death when you two sleep together, to the point you need to smack him to go easy on your intestines or you will puke on his silk sheets lol

loves doing skincare together, it’s just relaxing doing it together while you two yap about your days, helping each other apply things correctly, and it always makes him feel easier seeing you taking care of yourself, he always worries that because he’s so busy he can’t see if you’re doing your best to take care of yourself (mentally) so seeing you being so happy and enjoying yourself while you two are doing this together makes him feel at ease

•(nsfw! hcs):

is definitely a service dom, so eager to please you, won’t stop until he feel you shaking with pleasure and sees tears streaming down your pretty face

LOVES PUSSY MORE THAN AIR, if he could, he’d be living between your legs, just lapping away at your clit while you trash in his hold, your legs over his shoulders, feet pushing at his back, whenever he’s giving you oral best believe he isn’t stopping for the next several HOURS (rip girl lmao), he just love how you taste so much, he’d literally just be moaning in your pussy and if he comes in his pants from just eating you out? well that’s nobody’s business but his (and yours by default)

has a praise kink too, but unlike the other boys who like to praise you, he want YOU to praise HIM, just grabbing his hair and moaning in his ear how good he’s fucking you, how big he is inside of you, how he’s simply the best for you-and if you let a little “good boy” slip out? well, let’s just say he will be cumming really quickly and that it will make him even more motivated to make you feel good

definitely gets off seeing your tummy bulge, just seeing how far inside of you he is and how your stomach moves when he is too gets him off like nothing else, makes his head spin and makes him moan so loudly (wonu definitely hates you two rabbits lmao)

insist on seeing jesus at least once a week by making you sit on his face, there’s nothing better than feeling your entire weight on his face, your smell surrounding him while he’s eating your pussy like its his last supper, and the fact that you aren’t touching and he isn’t able to grind on the bed how he would if he was just laying down between your legs? well, let’s just say mingyu might have a little thing for having his orgasms be delayed a bit (but don’t tell the gang, they will never shut up about it lol)

one of his favourite positions has definitely got to be cowgirl, just seeing you on top of him, bouncing up and down his big dick, struggling from time to time so he has to guide your hips or take matters in his own hands and fuck upwards into you, you tits bouncing as well- there may not be a heaven on earth but he comes close to it every time you ride him til he sees god

has stamina of an animal, can and WILL go for hours to no end, in the end you will just be with your face pressed in the pillow and ass in the air, totally limp so mingyu will have to hold your hips to keep them in the air, moaning away while he chases his high (he will take care of you afterwards and if he sees you literally can’t do it anymore or that it’s causing you more harm than pleasure he will immediately stop, dw)

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 21

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : THESE WARNINGS WILL GIVE SPOILERS!!!! MDNI, angst, tension, anxiety, mentions of car accident/reader in accident, aftermath of accident, trauma as a result of accident, memory loss, mentions of cheating

Finally get to tell you where the inspo for this fic came from now that it won’t give away any spoilers. (all my Irish girlies stand up 🫡) I’d fully forgotten about this song this song until July, and when I listened to it it sparked the little ideas for me, and that’s how I came up with the main plot <3 I've been going through a break up (which was nearly a 10 year relationship) during the time of writing this so ive poured my heart and souuuuul into this ( i also want to note no themes of the story relate to me maybe only mentally clocking out bc of a bare minimum bf, do not fucking cheat on anyone) . this fic has been my baby and im so thankful to anyone who has read so far <3 p.s if you ever go back and reread this you’ll notice the little pieces of lyrics here and there lol

The world came back to me in fragments - blurred lights, muffled sounds, and an overwhelming sense of disorientation. As I fluttered my eyes open, the harsh brightness of the room made me wince. My head pounded with a dull ache, and my body felt heavy, as if it wasn’t quite mine.

I slowly turned my head to the right, trying to take in my surroundings, and there he was. The man I loved, sitting by my bedside. His face was a mixture of relief and something else, fear, maybe? His eyes met mine, and I felt a flicker of familiarity in the chaos of my mind.

“Alex..” I whispered, my voice weak and strained.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Try not to move too much,” Alex said softly, his hand reaching up to gently stroke my face. His touch was warm, comforting, but something about the way he looked at me sent a ripple of unease through my chest.

“What happened?” I asked, my voice barely audible, as panic started to rise within me. My thoughts were jumbled, trying to piece together how I ended up here. The last thing I remembered was.. was.. I couldn’t even grasp it.

“You got into an accident” Alex explained, his voice steady, but I could see the worry etched into his features. “But you’re going to be okay. You just need to rest.”

An accident? My mind raced, and instinctively, I tried to move, only to be met with sharp pain that made me gasp. “What about my injuries? When can I skate again? I have qualifiers for the Olympics soon!” The words tumbled out of my mouth in a frantic rush, driven by a fear that I couldn’t quite place.

Alex’s face twisted in confusion, and he hesitated before answering. “Y/n.. you haven’t skated in years.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I stared at him, my heart pounding in my chest, refusing to believe what he was saying. “What? No.. that’s not true. I.. I’ve been training. You know that.” My voice quivered with desperation.

Alex exchanged a worried glance with the nurse, then looked back at me, his expression pained. “Y/n, You stopped skating when I was a freshman.. I’m a junior now..”

His words echoed in my head, but they didn’t make any sense. UCLA? Sophomore year? It was as if he was speaking a different language. The last memory I had was waiting anxiously to see if he made the Bruins team, both of us so excited about the possibility of him making it big with football.

“No��� no, that’s not right,” I muttered, shaking my head as if it would somehow clear the fog that clouded my thoughts. “Did you get onto the Bruins team?” I asked, clinging to the one thing that made sense to me.

“Y/n..” Alex’s voice was gentle, but it carried the weight of the truth I wasn’t ready to accept. 

The room spun around me, and I felt like I was being thrown into a different universe. Everything was wrong, nothing made sense. My heart raced, my breathing quickened, and I felt like I was drowning in confusion.

The female nurse stepped forward, her expression calm and professional. “Alex, could I speak with you outside for a moment?” she asked, her tone leaving no room for argument.

Alex squeezed my hand one last time before letting go, his eyes lingering on mine with a look that made my chest tighten. He nodded and followed the nurse out of the room, leaving me alone with the student nurse who had been quietly observing from the side.

I turned my head slightly to look at him, trying to ground myself in something familiar, something stable. “Can someone tell me how long I’ll have to be in here for?” I asked, my voice trembling.

The boy hesitated, looking a bit uncertain. “I’m not too sure, Y/n. We’ll have to wait for one of the staff to give us results first” he said, trying to sound reassuring as he reached out and cupped my hand with his two.

His gesture was kind, but it only added to my confusion. Why was he holding my hand like that? Was he one of those compassionate doctors who went the extra mile for their patients? My mind struggled to make sense of his actions.

“Can’t you ask someone since you work here?” I asked, hoping for some clarity.

He blinked at me, clearly taken aback. “Work here?”

Before I could respond, the door creaked open, and the female nurse re-entered the room, followed by Alex. There was a heaviness in the air, a sense of something unspoken. The nurse’s eyes met mine, and I could see the concern etched into her features.

“Ms. Y/l/n” she began, her voice gentle yet serious, “I need to explain something to you. After the accident, you sustained a significant concussion, which has led to a form of memory loss known as post-traumatic amnesia..”

“Amnesia?” I whispered, the word foreign and terrifying on my tongue. My gaze darted between her and Alex, hoping for someone to tell me this was all a mistake.

“Yes” she confirmed softly. “From what we can gather, you seem to have lost your recent memories from about two years ago onward. It’s possible that these memories will return with time, but for now, you’re not going to remember much.”

My world shattered with those words. Two years? How could two whole years of my life just be gone? My breath quickened, and the room began to feel smaller, more suffocating. I glanced at Alex, hoping to find some reassurance, but his expression only mirrored my panic.

“Two years?” I asked again, trying to wrap my mind around it. “What happened in those two years? I don’t remember any of it..” My voice trembled as I spoke, my heart sinking deeper into despair.

“That’s okay, Y/n” Alex said, stepping closer to me. “We’ll figure this out together, okay? I’ll help you remember.”

But something about the way he said it felt off. There was a tension in his voice that made me uneasy. I looked back at the boy who had been holding my hand, trying to place his face in the context of my life, but nothing came to mind.

“Who.. who are you?” I asked hesitantly, turning my attention to him. His expression faltered, a mixture of pain and something else flashing across his features.

“Y/n, it’s me.. Matt” he said, his voice tinged with a sorrow that cut through me like a knife.

I stared at him “I- I don't know who you are..” I didn’t recognize him. I didn’t remember anything about him. It was as if the two years that had vanished had taken him with them.

Before I could say anything else, the tension in the room exploded.

“Okay man I think it’s time you leave” Alex snapped, his eyes narrowing at Matt, his voice dripping with venom. “You have no right to be here, especially after what you did.”

“What I did?” Matt shot back, his voice rising with anger. “You’re the one who’s been sat here lying to her! You cheated on her, Alex! Don’t you dare act like you care about her now.”

The words hung in the air like a death sentence. My head spun, the room tilting as I tried to process what was happening. Cheated? Alex cheated on me?

“You’re full of shit, Matt” Alex retorted, stepping closer to him, their faces inches apart. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been lying to her this entire time!” Matt shouted, his voice cracking with emotion. “You think I don’t know what you’ve done? You think she won’t find out? I won’t let you keep doing this to her.”

“Stop it!” I screamed, my voice cutting through their argument like a knife. Tears streamed down my face as the overwhelming stress consumed me. “Just stop! Both of you, get out! Get out!”

The room fell into a stunned silence. Both Matt and Alex turned to look at me, their expressions a mixture of shock and regret. But I couldn’t take it anymore. The confusion, this talk of betrayal, the loss of my memory - it was too much. I felt like I was drowning, and I needed them to leave before I lost myself completely.

“Please.. just leave.” I begged, my voice barely above a whisper, but firm in its resolve.

Matt’s face crumpled with pain, but he nodded slowly, backing away toward the door. Alex hesitated, his eyes pleading with me to understand, but I couldn’t even look at him.

One by one, they both left the room, the door closing behind them with a finality that left me feeling utterly alone. The silence that followed was deafening, the emptiness in my heart growing with every passing second.

I collapsed back onto the bed, my body trembling as I sobbed, the weight of everything too much to bear. Two years of my life, gone. The man I thought I loved and a stranger. The man who claimed to love me and a liar. The situation infront of me confused me as to which one was which. The memories I needed to make sense of it all, vanished.

I was lost in a world that no longer felt like my own.

Matt’s POV

I walked out of Y/n’s hospital room, the door clicking shut behind me like a hammer driving the final nail into a coffin. My heart pounded in my chest, the adrenaline from my argument with Alex still coursing through my veins, but it was nothing compared to the fiery dread settling in my stomach. Every word I’d said to her, every desperate attempt to break through her confusion, seemed to hang in the air like a suffocating fog.

I made my way to the waiting area, my feet heavy, my mind numb. The bright, white lights overhead did nothing to chase away the darkness consuming my thoughts. We approached the row of  cold plastic chairs and Alex sat down, his elbows resting on his knees, head buried in his hands. I could feel the tension radiating off him, but I was too consumed by my own torment to care.

I dropped into a chair two seats away from him, the hard plastic pressing against my back, and let my head fall into my hands. My thoughts spiraled, chaotic and disjointed, but always coming back to one image - the moment she was hit.

The screech of tires. The blinding headlights. The sickening thud as Y/n’s body crumpled under the car’s impact. I could still hear the scream that tore through me as I watched her fly through the air, time slowing to a crawl, helpless to stop it. It played over and over in my mind, each replay more gut wrenching than the last.

I should’ve been faster. I should’ve told her how I really felt. I should’ve… My fists clenched in my hair as I tried to choke down the guilt that threatened to swallow me whole.

What was I even doing on that balcony? Watching her run out of the house, pacing back and forth. I should’ve gone to her instead of just standing there like an idiot, too lost in my own confusion and pain to act. And then when I saw the car coming down the hill, everything in me froze.

"Y/n, get off the road!!" I had shouted, but my voice felt so small, so powerless against the force of what was about to happen. But it's too late.

In a split second, the beam of headlights blinds her. The screeching of tires fills the air as the car tries to stop, but the impact is inevitable. I watch in horror as the car strikes Y/n. The sound of the collision is deafening, and time seems to slow down.

She’s thrown backward, landing hard on the pavement. I can’t breathe, my legs feel like jelly as I race down the stairs, stumbling and pushing through the crowd.

When I finally reach her, my heart is pounding in my chest, my breath coming in short, panicked bursts. I kneel beside her, tears streaming down my face as I try to make sense of the horrific scene before me.

Y/n lies on the ground, her face contorted in pain, her body unmoving. The car speeds away into the night, leaving behind a scene of devastation. The people around us have began to scatter, some calling for an ambulance, others standing in shocked silence.

I gently cradle Y/n's head in my lap, my hands shaking uncontrollably. "Y/n, stay with me," I pleaded, my voice choking with emotion. "Please, stay with me."

She blinks slowly, her eyes meeting mine with a look of pain and resignation. I can see the life fading from her, and it feels like my world is collapsing around me.

The sound of sirens grows louder, and I can hear the distant honking of emergency vehicles approaching. I try to stay strong for her, to keep her conscious until help arrives, but my heart is breaking.

"I’m so sorry," I whisper, tears falling freely. "I’m so sorry for everything."

As the ambulance pulls up, paramedics rush to our side, taking over the situation with practiced efficiency. I’m left standing on the sidelines, my heart shattered as I watch them work to save her. I know that nothing will ever be the same again, and the weight of what just happened is almost too much to bear.

Now she was in that hospital bed, her memories shattered along with my heart. She didn’t even recognize me. My face, my voice - nothing. I was just a stranger to her now, a distant memory from a life she couldn’t even recall.

And then there was Alex. The guy she “loved”, the guy who’d betrayed her. He sat there just a few feet away, but it felt like a canyon stretched between us.  I knew he was going to see this as an opportunity to weasel his way back into her life. She didn't remember any of it, him cheating, the way he treated her like an option. And now this was his free pass, to get her back like nothing had ever happened. I wanted to punch him, to scream at him for all the lies he’d fed her, for making this even more unbearable than it already was. But what good would that do? None of it would bring her memories back. None of it would undo the damage that had been done.

I glanced sideways at Alex. He was still in the same position, as if he were trapped in his own private hell. Good. He deserved it. But the satisfaction was fleeting, replaced quickly by a wave of exhaustion and despair.

All I could do was sit there, replaying the accident in my head, the look of panic in Y/n’s eyes as she realized what was happening, the way everything went silent just before impact. It was a moment I knew would haunt me for the rest of my life, one that no amount of apologies or explanations could ever make right.

All I wanted was for her to be okay, to wake up and remember me, remember us. But even that hope felt distant now, buried under the weight of the reality we were in.

I let out a shuddering breath, forcing myself to look away from Alex and focus on the dull hum of the hospital around us. Waiting, that’s all we could do now. Wait and hope for a miracle that seemed less likely with each passing second.

The door in front of us opened, and in came Nick, Madi, Chris & Emily. I had gone to the hospital with Y/n in the ambulance, and the paramedics contacted Alex as he was still down as Y/n’s emergency contact. The news of what happened tore through the party fast, but getting out of the place was hard to do so with the amount of emergency services on scene. 

“God Matt is she okay?” Nick asks frantically. 

“She’s awake Nick.. she’ll be okay.. But she doesn’t remember anything.” 

“Oh thank god she's okay, maybe it’s for the best that she doesn't remember the accident happening.” Nick says, trying to make me feel better.

“No, Nick. She doesn’t remember anything. She doesn’t remember me, she won't remember you, she doesn’t have any memory of the last 2 years at all.” I said, tears outlining my eyes.

Nick stood there with a horrified expression on his face. “You love her don’t you?” Nick whispers, so low that only us can hear.

“More than anything Nick, more than anything I know.”

 “Do you think I could go in and see her?” Nick questions.

“If you want, but she’s stressed out at the minute.. Just try your best not to make anything worse.” I say, as Nick nods at me, getting up to gently knock on the door to Y/n’s room.

I take my eyes off Nick and lock eyes with Emily.

“Can we go outside for a minute for some air?” I asked her, knowing I'm about to have a conversation that I should’ve handled differently nights ago.

a/n: sorry.. again..

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000

[rosenclaws]

Hi love, I hope you’re doing well! I’ve been a fan of (stalking but let’s not talk about it) your blog for a little while, but this is the first time I’ve sent in a request for you! Your writing for Leopold is literally the sweetest ever and you’re the only writer I know of that actively writes for him, it’s so dry out here!! I was wondering if I could request something fluffy with Leopold x fem!reader where is like the most tooth-rotting fluff you can think of. I’m talking him trying to court the reader even though it’s the modern day and that’s not really a thing anymore and shes a bit confused but loves it, a super touchy reader that loves to shower Leo with her affection, literally anything. Those are just ideas, feel free to be as creative as you’d like (and don’t be shy if you wanna make it a longer fic, I’ll take what I can get). This fandom (if I can even call it that) is such a barren wasteland for fanfics and you are such an amazing writer for him and just in general!!

Much love 💕

Courting || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader

a/n: Hi!! Okay I kinda took this in a slightly different direction so if its not what you wanted then plz feel free to send in another request (ik they're closed but I will make an exception) ALSO FUCK HES SO HANDSOME IM GONNA SCREAM

wc: 1.2k

warning: reader wears lipstick

The last thing you expected was to find a neatly written letter waiting for you when you got home. Pinned neatly to the door with a small rose attached to it. You recognized Leopold's handwriting immediately, no one else you know has such beautiful penmanship.

There’s a flutter of butterflies in your stomach as you open the letter. You and Leopold have gotten very close to each other. He’s unbelievably charming and so sweet and he’s just everything. The way he looks at you, it makes you feel like the only one in the world.

Hello my love,

I am writing to ask if you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner and a show this Friday night. I have found myself completely captured by your beauty, you live in my every thought. Every breath I breathe for you and every beat of my heart calls your name. I wish to court you and have the honor of calling you mine.

Your dearest Leopold

You read the letter once, and then again and again. Your fingers trace each letter. Never have you had anyone say something so precious to you before. The rose smells fresh and sweet, he must have gotten it this morning. You hurry to write him a reply, accepting his offer with great enthusiasm.

Folding the letter you press your lips the corner of the paper leaving a lipstick mark. Leopold lives just down the hall so you walk over. Just as you’re about to slip the letter under the door it swings open.

“Leo!” You squeak out as stand back up, almost knocking your head into his chest.

"Hello darling." He's dressed in casual clothes and my god you need to thank whoever introduced him to sweatpants. Anyways.

"I see you received my letter." You bite your lip as you hand over your letter. His name written as fancy as you can.

"Yeah, it was really sweet Leo." He takes the letter and you swear he blushes a little when he sees the lipstick mark. He stares at you for a while, with that perfect smile and gorgeous eyes.

"I uh, I'll see you Friday." His eyes light up at your words.

"I'll see you Friday my love." He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles.

You manage to keep it together as he shuts the door but once you make it back to your apartment you're melting. A giddy feeling you haven't felt in years. You have to wonder how he will attempt to court you in modern day. People don't really court anymore but all you care about is that you have a date with Leopold. Friday couldn't come fast enough.

You had never felt this nervous before. Spending way too long getting ready just to be done an hour early. It's just Leopold, you know Leopold. There's no reason to be nervous but you can't stop the tornado of worry brewing inside of you.

What if something goes wrong? Or the date goes horrible? What if he decides he doesn't like you anymore? What if this ruins your friendship. You shake your head and try to dispel any bad thoughts.

Tonight was going to be great. It has to be. There's a knock at the door and you quickly double check everything before opening it. Any worry still residing in your mind disappears. A beautiful bouquet of flowers is handed to you as Leopold is dressed to the nines. A crisp white shirt and black pants.

"They're beautiful." You say admiring the flowers. Fresh and absolutely gorgeous.

"Not as beautiful as you." Leopold says, barely at a whisper. Like he can't believe that you've even agreed to a date with him. He can't help but admire everything about you. To your smile, your beauty, your laugh, your voice. You're perfect.

You place the flowers in a vase and then the two of you are off. He rests his hand on your back as you walk through the city. His thumb draws circles in your back as you approach the restaurant. He's planned everything himself and he can't help but hope it's enough for you.

Dinner is lovely and the conversation flows without any awkwardness. You're talking to your friend Leopold but you know there's something more as you slowly get closer to each other as the night goes on. Hidden away in the corner booth you are free to get lost in each others eyes. Though you wish you could stay here all night he promised a show. Leopold loved the theater and he promised one day to take you and tonight was the night.

"How did you get such good seats?" You ask as he waits for you to sit before he does.

"I have my ways darling." You're hyper aware of just how close the two of you had gotten at dinner and how close you are now.

The show is interesting yes but Leopold was a very distracting man. Your hands inch closer together. Glancing over at Leopold you find him already looking at you. He waits for your silent approval, not wanting to cross an boundaries. So you take the leap. Intertwining your hands together.

A faint blush on his face and a big smile on yours. His hands are so warm and they fit so perfectly with your hand. When the show ends you reluctantly head back home. You don't want this night to end. Your hands swing together as you gush about the play.

"I had a wonderful night Leopold," You're leaning against your door, wanting so badly to keep the night going. His hair swoops perfectly in front of his forehead and he's got this pretty smile that you can't stop staring at.

"So did I, Thank you for accompanying me tonight." His eyes drift to your lips.

It's adorable seeing just how old school he really is. You know he's from 1876 but still. Modern boys pale in comparison to Leopold.

"You know you don't have to be so nervous Leo, I want to kiss you too." You say boldly.

He chuckles, ducking his head as bites his lip softly. He cups your face gently and you close eyes as he gently captures your lips in a kiss. He's gentle and sweet and you crave more. Still he pulls away much too soon. You pout slightly and he laughs.

"I know I'm much more traditional than you're used to." He traces your lips with his thumb. Admiring every little detail of your face.

"But someone as wonderful as you deserves to be treated with the upmost respect." He kisses your forehead gently.

"You deserve to be loved," Another kiss.

"To be cherished," Another.

"And to be worshiped." Words fail you completely. Leopold has rendered you utterly speechless.

"Did I overstep?" He asks, worried about you silence.

You shake your head. practically jumping into him as you kiss him. Passionately running your hands through his hair. He groans slightly as you tug on his hair. He pushes you against the wall, bracing your head with his hand as he kisses back.

"I'm falling in love with you." He whispers. A hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I'm already in love with you." You admit.

You become lost in his lips as he kisses you again. He just can't get enough. You blindly reach for the door handle and without argument pull him inside of your apartment.

Soft kisses and laughter are shared quietly between the two of you. Time ticks by but you have lost all sense of care in the world. All that matters to you is this moment. Your fairytale come to life. And it was just perfect.

[ara-the-great]

One call away

Tw: slight reference to lores, slight gore (if you squint) fever and delirium, abandonment issues

(here is the request I got for Zayne and Sylus angst. I didn't know what to write so I added my own trauma. I HAVE NOT PROOF READ THIS)

You don't remember most of your childhood. Not that you cared much. The oldest thing in your memory that you could find was screams, the screams staying with your Grandma and Caleb but that too was well into your mid or late teens.

Even then you didn't have many friends, actually you had no one except Caleb. All of them either bullied you or abandoned you, they didn't care about you . You were desperate for any sort of connection as a child and as a adult.

Your dating scene was similar. Though you only had one relationship before you joined the hunters association. Even that was far from a good one. And now when you look back at it you couldn't remember much there either, you had cried so much, so damn much but still he left.

It's only after joining the association that your life started to look up. It was a new start for you. A new environment, new friends do you think they like you? and new opportunities.

You always kept your problems to yourself. You didn't want to make others worry for nothing. It's not like anyone was close enough to tell these problems anyway.

When this mysterious fever started developing you thought you could ignored it, just power though it, right? Wrong.

You could barely stand up. Slipping in and out of consciousness. Your body felt like it was being baked from the inside out. Yet it felt like your limbs were freezing off. You needed help to at least get to the hospital.

Even thinking of the hospital made you feel worse. You could practically smell the antiseptic scent of the sterile rooms. What if something is really wrong with you and you need surgery? Under the harsh flood lights and white coats and screams and they'll kill you this time. They'll hurt you. They will cut you open with a knife.

Sylus

You jolted awake shaking, you can't stop shaking. No one can save you this time. For all you know that kind-hearted boy who helped you is dead. For all you knew his body was stained as red as his eyes.

He answered "look who it is, I didn't think I'd be fortunate enough to get your call today kitten". You weren't sure when you had called Sylus but you already had. You didn't know what to say let alone why you called him. Could he even help? Suddenly you remembered the aether core. Maybe this fever was related to this. Maybe-

"kitten are you alright?" His voice sounded gruff but gave you so much comfort. But you wouldn't want to disturb him. He probably would hate you for it.

"I'm sorry i- I mistakenly called you" you managed to rasp out. Still shaking

"you don't sound well. Are you sick? Where are you?" He spoke cautiously. You weren't sure how he knew. Not sure that you cared because before you could answer a calm swept you into unconsciousness.

You woke up to someone opening your door. Shit shit shit shit shit shit . Someone was here. An intruder was here. You could barely get up and out of bed before stumbling onto the ground, your gun was nowhere to be seen. You kept trying to think where you kept it but you came up blank. You rummaged through your bedside table trying to find something to defend yourself with but your cold shaky hands weren't making it easier. The person outside had started to open your bedroom door when you found a blunt craft scissor which you held up towards whoever was inside. Your sight was blurry and your heart was beating in your ears like a war drum but you could recognize a tall figure approaching. You weren't going to let them take you back. you have to fight. You have to

"DONT COME ANY CLOSER! GET OUT IM NOT GOING BACK I WONT HESITATE TO KILL YOU DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ANOTHER STEP!" You screamed as loud as you possibly could. Tears ran down your face as you shook with what can be only described as pure terror. Scenes from the past kept flashing in your head. You could practically feel every damn cut they cut into you as a child.

You were sobbing and shaking curled up in a corner from fear and yet you kept the knife held up. It tore Sylus's heart apart to see you like this again. In the blink of an eye he was kneeling in front of you cowering form trying to reach out.

"Sweetie, Y/N please it's me. Calm down it's ok you are safe. Look at me. Shh look it's me Sylus. Its ok I won't take you anywhere, I won't hurt you." He held you in his arms even though you were wildly trying to stab him for a second. His normally smooth voice wavered and cracked.

"S-sylus? I- someone is in the house!" You deliriously mumbled from the high fever.

"kitten it was me. I came over because I was worried when you stopped talking over the phone. It seems like I was right to worry. You are burning up what happened?"

"I think I have a fever. It's ok though, I'll be ok" you said calming down. You leaned into his touch as he held you against his chest. His heartbeat was almost as rapid as yours.

"my love, I don't think you will be fine your fever feels well over 105. Why aren't you at a hospital? Why didn't you call anyone? Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"i didn't think you would come"

"all you need to do is say my name and I'll be there for you. Now come, let's get you to the clinic"

You shook your head trying to insist you were fine but the worry in his eyes only made you reconsider your choice

"Can you tell me why you don't want to go?" His eyes and his voice were lulling you to sleep again

"scared" your voice was barely a whisper. You could feel yourself slip into unconsciousness yet again.

When you came to you weren't in your house. Just before you could panic you felt sylus talk. His arms still around you like a shield from everything you were afraid of.

"it's ok you are with me. I'm here. I bought you to the N109 zone. You needed to see a doctor so I called one to my house. So no hospital, don't worry." Sylus explained without you even asking.

"thank you" you said quietly, feeling ashamed of the scene you caused earlier.

"For?" He asked with a brow quirked up.

"For not asking what all that was, and for bringing me here and also for taking care of me."

He laughed softly "You don't need to thank me for taking care of you. I always take care of what's mine." His eyes were ever so soft as he brushed away your hair from your face. "Now sleep. You are still sick"

"but I feel a bit bet-"

"Sleep kitten. I'll take care of everything else" he said softly kissing your forehead.

Zayne

You stared at your phone contemplating whether or not you should call Zayne. Though you were in a relationship you couldn't just disturb him. He was a busy guy. He had surgeries and more serious patients to take care of.

Your phone began ringing. Speak of the devil.

"Y/N? This is zayne. Are you alright? This is the second time you missed your appointment this week." His cool voice sounded across the phone.

"zayne, ah I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just have a bit of a fever."

" A fever? That gives you more reasons to come over to the clinic does it not? Do not worry about the appointments. I'm coming to pick you up. Are you at your apartment?"

"Zayne its truly not necessary I don't want to burden yo-"

"Rubbish, I was already headed out. So do not worry about burdening me. Worry about taking care of yourself" he cut the call before you could try to persuade him that you were fine. You were just grateful that someone was there. Even though zayne had abandoned you before. He didn't care about you. It was his job as a doctor to care for his patients.

You didn't realise when you had slipped into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

But by the time you had woken up your skin felt like it was burning from the fever. This wasn't normal. Glancing over at the clock you saw it was around 1 am. Zayne wasn't here yet. Why did you expect he would be here? You knew not to trust in what people say so why was your eyes tearing up?

As your fever kept increasing it became harder and harder to move around, it was painful to even sit up. He had abandoned you again. Your ex was right. You were annoying and in the end everyone would leave you. Nobody could ever love you.

The memory of zayne flashed across your mind. He had promised to always look after you. To be there for you.

You gritted your teeth kept mumbling "it's ok. I'll be ok" to yourself like a mantra as you somehow got a coat on your back to head to the hospital. You weren't sure how you'd reach there but the first step was to get out. Every promise that has been made to me has been a lie why would this one not be?

Just as you were about to get out of your room, your door softly swung open, revealing Zayne with an apron and a tray of soup in his hands. He seemed taken abac. But perhaps not as much as you.

"And where are you going? You shouldn't be up with such a high fever." He said as he kept the soup on the table. His cold eyes were filled with worry. Even seeing him had you breaking down into tears.

He scrambled to hold you as you collapsed on the floor crying. "What happened, where does it hurt?" He hurriedly measured your pulse and fever trying to find any sort of answer from your incoherent sobbing.

"Wh-when, when did you get here" you managed to croak out once you had calmed down a bit

"I got here long ago but since you were sleeping I didn't want to wake you. I was in the kitchen making soup for the fever, knowing you, your stomach is empty." He said as he slowly settled you into your bed.

As he turned around to bring the soup he meticulously made for you, you grabbed the back of his finely pressed shirt, "don't leave. Please don't leave, please stay. Please. I would die if you left me." you kept begged in your fever induced delirium. It broke Zaynes once frozen heart to see such fear and pain in your eyes.

He slowly leaned over to kiss you on the forehead "I won't. I'm just getting your soup. You need to eat something if you want to get better. You can't have medicine on an empty stomach"

Throughout the rest of the night Zayne diligently fed you and took care of you. And when you found it hard to sleep he would cradle you in his arms and read out his medical papers to distract you from your thoughts.

"I'm here, I'm here sweetheart, it will be ok. I'm not going to leave even if the gods demand me to" he comforted you every time you jolted awake. He would be whispering words of comfort to you till you fell asleep again and continue telling you how much he would give up for you. This treatment would go on for days, till you recovered. And even though you didn't remember how you begged him to stay, he would reassure you that he'd be there for you whenever he could.

[shellshocklove]

❀ 2023 fic recs

hi friends <3 like last year i wanted to make a list of some of my favorite fics i’ve read that was posted throughout 2023. please read the warnings on the fics before reading, and minors do not interact with smut!

* = smut

❀ peter parker

burnt face and second base by @waitimcomingtoo (one shot)

pairing: peter parker x reader summary: peter can’t seem to stop accidentally hurting his crush.

blurb by @hollandsangel (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x reader summary: “oh please, who’s gonna stop us?”, “the police.”

*angel unaware by @silkscream (one shot)

pairing: peter parker x silk!reader summary: you’ve known peter since you were fifteen, shortly after you were both bitten by the same spider. it was too obvious that you’d end up loving him. as you drift apart during your first year of college, you’re not sure how much longer you can keep dancing in circles with him.

*blurb by @/silkscream (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: reader fucks peter in his suit, the other suit.

*delay by @sparklingsin (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x gn!reader summary: you stop peter from going on patrol.

blurb by @t-lostinworlds (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x avenger!female!reader summary: "this movie is really scary, but you're into it so i'm trying not to cover my face the whole time, but-what is that?" and "i mean… i-i'm cool with sharing the bed if you are."

i spy, no spy by @/t-lostinworlds (one shot)

pairing: peter parker x avenger/secret agent!female!reader summary: You’re a trained spy, Peter was not. But you two ended up on a mission together where he was needed to be less of the chatty superhero in red & blue tights and more of a debonair undercover agent in a suit & tie. It shouldn’t be too difficult, right? No mask, no web shooters. Just you and him pretending to be fiancés, hiding and making out in a closet to avoid getting caught—simple. Unless he included his overgrowing feelings for you, of course.

a strange(er's) comfort by @/t-lostinworlds (one shot)

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: peter found a strange comfort in the graveyard, no less. but hearing about your day-to-day had been the highlight of his. and when one night led to the both you showing vulnerability, suddenly, peter didn’t feel so alone anymore. maybe a stranger’s comfort wasn’t so bad.

*in lust we trust by @scorpiomother (one shot)

pairing: mcu!peter parker x silk!female!reader summary: they don’t know one thing about each other, but they do know that they want each other. bad. little do they know, they are at the mercy of an influx of hormones caused by a radioactive spider.

*blurb by @webslingingslasher (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: you get a bad calf cramp midway through sex.

break my heart by @hollandweather (blurb)

pairing: frat!peter parker x female!reader summary: peter wants to spend time with you.

your kiss, my cheek by @/hollandweather (one shot)

pairing: frat!peter parker x female!reader summary: better late than never? bullshit. frat!peter realises he loves you a little too late.

you're always gonna be mine by @darling-im-wonderstruck (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: late nights with peter never failed to put your heart at ease at the end of each long day. all your worries and doubts seem to disappear in his presence, including your fears about first loves (and first heartbreaks).

subway by @tnmdfhgkg (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: you met a cute boy on the train.

blurb by @/luveline (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x reader summary: peter catch you wearing spider-man merch.

blurb by @parkerpeter24 (blurb)

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: peter's hand gets stuck to your shirt.

❀ joel miller

*soft!dom joel miller by @joelscruff (series)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: a collection of important moments between you and joel miller, your grumpy new patrol partner in jackson, wyoming.

*feelings on fire by @/joelscruff (series, ongoing)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you're back from college for the summer, staying with your devout catholic parents in your childhood home while they order you around and try to keep authority over you. as an act of rebellion you ask your new neighbor mr. miller to teach you how to play guitar, but it turns out there's a lot more he wants to teach you.

*boyfriend's!dad!joel miller by @/joelscruff (series)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: moments between you and your boyfriend's father, joel miller, who you have a secret relationship with.

*to freeze or to thaw & *a kindness you can't afford by @/joelscruff (two part one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel stole you away to be his special girl.

*truth or dare by @/joelscruff (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: a harmless game of truth or dare ends with you tied up in a certain mysterious neighbor's garage.

*this one thing you did by @/joelscruff (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: dancing with a stranger at your favorite club leads to something filthy.

*mad love by @swiftispunk (drabble)

pairing: joel miller x afab!fem!reader summary: reader gets turned on after joel goes feral on some guy who tried to touch her.

*holding back by @/swiftispunk (drabble)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: smut from joel's pov.

*your summer dream by @/swiftispunk (series, ongoing)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader summary: fresh on the heels of the worst breakup of your life, you find an unexpected kindred spirit in joel miller, who's agreed to tag along for seven days to a tropical resort with you and your parents.

*good to me by @/swiftispunk (three part series)

pairing: gynecologist!joel miller x female!reader summary: with your usual doctor out, you're stuck having to get your routine pap smear done by the gorgeous dr. miller.

*say it with your hands & *put your lips close to mine by @/swiftispunk (one shots)

pairing: joel miller x afab!fem!masseuse!reader  summary: ellie convinces joel to see the town masseuse. it goes mostly okay.

*creep it real by @/swiftispunk (one shot)

pairing: dbf!joel miller x female!reader summary: a masked angel. a rugged cowboy. you're the answer to joel's prayers...until he realizes who you are.

*stay here, honey by @/swiftispunk (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader summary: you sit on dbf!joel's lap at a party, it's a whole thing.

no strings attached by @dustydaddyyy (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you can’t deny there’s always been something between you and joel miller. The question is, is either of you going to do something about it?

*sweetheart by @/dustydaddyyy (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you're home from college for summer '99 to visit your parents, when your eye wanders upon their next-door neighbor, joel miller.

*flash point by @/dustydaddyyy (series, ongoing)

pairing: pre-TLOU! joel miller x female!reader summary: 18 years after the world ended, and you never thought you'd find yourself stranded and alone in the Boston QZ. you've got one friend, a tendency for violence and sticky fingers, so what happens when you run across two notoriously ruthless smugglers one night and they chose to save your life?

*look at me, *give me some & *can't help it aka tinder!joel miller by @pascalisbaby (mini series)

pairing: DILF!joel miller x female!reader summary: ellie and sarah set joel up on a tinder date.

*say yes to heaven & *no angel by @/pascalisbaby (one shots)

pairing: chiro!joel miller x female!patient!reader summary: dr. joel miller gives you a little more than an adjustment.

*saved too many times by @/pascalisbaby (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel doesn’t mind punishing you, so long as he gets to watch you cry.

*signs i don't read by @/pascalisbaby (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel likes things done his way, especially when he’s fucking you.

*rock me to sleep by @randofantfic

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel makes love to you in a rocking chair.

*dbf!joel miller by @notjustjavierpena (series)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel, your dad’s best friend, finds you in your room crying and wants to comfort you.

*grab the bull by the horns by @proxima-writes (one shot)

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x female reader summary: joel agrees to go out to tommy’s favorite bar, where he watches you ride a mechanical bull and wishes you would ride him.

*joel is such a sap after sex by @inklore (drabble)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel is a sap after sex.

*kinktober – body worship by @palioom (blurb)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you worship joel's body.

*only need ten by @pascalpvnk (blurb)

pairing: jackson era!joel miller x afab!reader summary: morning sex with joel.

*sweetened breath and tongue so mean by @moonlight-prose (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel couldn’t fathom what you saw in him. a man bloodied with the ravages of life. he’d taken life, killed to survive, and there were times he even fucking enjoyed it. but you were soft. you were the good that remained. the light he shouldn’t be allowed to tarnish.

unlikely friends by @sweetercalypso (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x reader summary: joel and your cat have never gotten along, but maybe they’re more alike than they realize.

*need that charles dickens by @janaispunk (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: “what do you say, have i been a good elf for santa?”, “am i santa in that scenario?”, “sure,” you grin mischievously, “if you come down my chimney.”

*in the next room by @atticrissfinch (one shot)

pairing: neighbor’s fuckbuddy!joel miller x female!reader summary: when the peace and quiet of your apartment is disturbed by the noisy escapades of the couple in the neighboring unit, you find yourself entranced by the mystery man on the other side of the wall. and when you stumble upon him on a dating app…well, it might just be fate.

*between blurred lines by @livingemkayde (one shot)

pairing: best friend's dad!/dad's best friend!joel miller x female!reader summary: joel miller has always been...there. never different, always sporting a brooding scowl etched into his handsome face. he's your best friend sarah miller's dad, arguably worse, your dad's long time buddy. things are never different. not until this summer. not until now.

*for you, i would by @javiscigarette (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: Joel catches you doing something you definitely shouldn't be doing and teaches you you lesson.

*tricks of the trade by @mypoisonedvine (one shot)

pairing: dark-ish!joel miller x female!reader summary: when you don't have enough rations to get your fix, you have to find something else to trade.

❀ javier peña

*soaked by @/joelscruff (one shot)

pairing: javi peña x female!reader summary: it’s hard being an intern for a man who won’t even look at you, but maybe there’s something else to it that you don’t see.

*(re)union with elvis by @tieronecrush (one shot)

pairing: javi peña x female!reader summary: reader and javi haven't seen each other since after graduation, until one night they bump into each other in las vegas, while both are there for their friends’ birthday parties. the next morning they wake up in the same bed, hangover and married.

*late night text by @undercoverpena (series)

pairing: javi peña x female!reader summary: it’s the year 2000. javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop’s ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. the only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

*keep me in your glow by @/atticrissfinch (one shot)

pairing: javi peña x female!reader summary: on a sleepy saturday morning, javi has one small request.

❀ jack daniels

*cupcake by @ezrasbirdie (one shot)

pairing: car salesman!jack daniels x female!reader summary: jack daniels, lead used car salesman at his dealership, has a crush on you, the pretty receptionist. it's too bad he can't get out of his own way. luckily for him, you have patience and a soft spot for shy cowboys.

❀ ezra (prospect)

*darkness by @/ezrasbirdie (one shot)

pairing: ezra x female!reader summary: ezra likes to watch you sleep.

❀ dieter bravo

*bouquet, *bloom & *blossom by @/mypoisonedvine (mini series)

pairing: dieter bravo x camgirl!reader summary: being quarantined in his hotel room has dieter getting a little stir crazy, and when the drugs run out, he has to find a new vice. that's how he found you.

❀ eddie munson

blurb by @luveline (blurb)

pairing: eddie munson x shy!female!reader summary: reader is into the same music as eddie & has a similar aesthetic but not the confidence that is associated with it. eddie takes the initiative to interact with her because she’s nervous too do so?

was that so hard? by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: eddie munson x shy!female!reader summary: your best friend eddie tries to explain what a hickey feels like and finds he doesn't have the words. he could show you, though, if you want?

if it barks by @/luveline (series, ongoing)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x rockstar!female!reader summary: you don’t mean to make an enemy of eddie munson — he’s handsome and talented, but he’s the biggest jerk you’ve ever met. eddie thinks you’re infuriatingly pretty, emphasis on the infuriating.

*smut by @/luveline (blurb)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x afab!reader summary: rockstar eddie and his gf get a little rough before/after a show.

a quest for bed by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: eddie munson x female!reader summary: eddie fights to get his usually shy and moderately intoxicated girlfriend to bed when you insist on clinging to him at every turn.

too much by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: eddie munson x female!reader summary: you get upset when eddie's friends think you're clingy. he sets you straight with some unbridled affection.

our ghost by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: eddie munson x female!reader summary: best friends since middle school, you tell eddie everything, which is why he's so surprised to find out you've been keeping a secret —you’re hearing a voice whenever you're home alone. he’s always had a thing for the fantastical but he can't believe in ghosts, and the longer you insist on it, the more worried he becomes. this would be bad enough if eddie didn’t have a secret too, and it threatens to change everything between you.

blurb by @/luveline (blurb)

pairing: eddie munson x shy!female!reader summary: eddie insists on taking care of you when you get overwhelmed in the middle of a concert.

one shot by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: eddie munson x female!reader summary: eddie is a hockey player.

is it cool if i hold your hand? by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: eddie munson x shy!female!reader summary: eddie asks you out on your very first date, indulging you in huge philly cheesesteaks, a vanilla milkshake (with two straws), a largely neglected bucket of popcorn, and a sugary first kiss.

a thread of time by @/luveline (one shot)

pairing: soulmate au, eddie munson x female!reader summary: eddie wakes up with a red string tied from his finger to yours, no idea where he got it, and no idea how to tell you that you're caught on the end of it.

❀ hobie brown

can i kiss you? by @spiderg0th (blurb)

pairing: hobie brown x spider person!reader summary: you visit his world for the first time.

❀ tom holland

*girls talk boys by @luciwritesstuff (series, ongoing)

pairing: actor!tom holland x female!reader summary: coming home for the holidays only to find your old, formerly pain-in-your-ass neighbour got. . . hot?

all the time in the world by @/luciwritesstuff (one shot)

pairing: tom holland x female!reader summary: tom thinks you're pregnant.

the end by @lauras-collection (one shot)

pairing: tom holland x reader summary: this is not how you thought your evening would end.

*little birdie by @youandtom2 (one shot, part. 2)

pairing: rich!dom!tom holland x inexperienced!rich!female!reader summary: you always thought you hated tom more. but after a wild night that has now led into a confusing situationship you start to question who you should be hating more: your nightmare brother andy, or his best friend tom?

*hunting ground by @/youandtom2 (one shot)

pairing: dom!tom holland x sub!bratty!reader summary: how else would you get adventure back into your life than to visit a speakeasy that’s definitly not a kinky-cult-sex-club?

❀ harry styles

*soft by @moonchildstyles (one shot)

pairing: harry styles x female!reader summary: harry is y/n’s best friend, so she thought she knew everything about him. but, it looks like they both had some secrets: harry thought about her a lot more than she realized and y/n has really soft hands.

feathery by @/moonchildstyles (one shot)

pairing: harry styles x cupid!female!reader summary: y/n is a cupid and harry might be her soulmate. if that’s even possible anyway.

*élan by @/moonchildstyles (series)

pairing: bodyguard!harry styles x rich socialite!female!reader summary: harry is a bodyguard by trade and y/n would do anything just to be left alone.

for more fic recs check out my #read tag <3

[berriweb]

╰┈➤ ❝ unconditional love ❞

: ̗̀➛ ft. johnathan ohnn x gn! reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings. none

: ̗̀➛ a/n. someone save me from the chokehold pathetic men have me in, especially this one in particular, Im addicted to this man😞

“does it not bother you?”

The question pulled you out of your trance, almost not catching it as you’d become so consumed in the background noise that the drama series you’d put on played on your TV. Your gaze shifted from the flashing pictures on the screen to where Johnathan laid, his lanky body entangled with your limbs, arms wrapped around your waist and his head snuggled into your chest and turned with his ear pressed right above where your heart would be so he could better view the screen.

“Hm?” You chirped at first, taking note of his refusal to turn and look at you, even if your gaze technically couldn’t be met. The episode that played showed a couple in the show going on innocent dates, something akin to a slice of life to make up for all of the building tension in the series. Part of you wondered if that was the cause of his sudden question.

“This…all of this, does it not bother you in the slightest? Our situation.” The second time around, Johnathan sat up, pulling his arms away from your body but still focusing on the screen. That part of you was right. “We don’t get to go out for dates anymore, we can’t see movies and eat at fancy restaurants- I can never see your friends or family, we can’t do any of that. How are you just okay with it?”

His words gave a mixture of guilt and frustration in his tone, and your heart aches for him. Besides the initial discussion when you first found out what had happened to your boyfriend, you two hadn’t really talked much about how things would go from then on. You just fell into a pattern that the two of you silently agreed on, and part of that agreement was that Johnathan didn’t really go out much due to his insecurities and knowing that he’d never be seen as normal, never accepted.

“Johnny, I don’t-” “And in the house too,” he started, not even seeming to realize that he’d cut you off, “I don’t have a face anymore, I’m not me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Your hands pulled away from him before cupping his cheeks and gently turning his head to face you, eyeing the hole where his features should’ve been. He didn’t try to resist. “I’m not going to lie and act like I don’t miss your face, none of this was fair too you and you don’t deserve any of it. But I didn’t fall in love with your face, I fell in love with you. None of this is going to change that.”

“And the others? Being seen with me in public would be shameful.”

“I’m never ashamed of you.”

He let out a sigh and his head hung low, you were lucky that his expressive personality and your ability to read him so well made up for the fact that he no longer had a face to express himself with. “We can still go out, I’m never against that. If there’s anyone in my life that even thinks of shunning you like the rest of them did then so be it, I wouldn’t want to be associated with someone like that anyway.”

You silently pulled his head back down to your chest and laid your own head back, staring up at the ceiling as you felt him relax on top of you.

“How are you so good at this?” He muttered.

“I’m not, you’re just easy to influence.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“…you know, if you’re really worried about going out in public we could go see a movie or something. No one would even pay you any mind in the theater, it’ll be like baby steps. You can’t stay cooped up in here forever.”

Johnathan picked his head up to look at you. “Really?” He asked, sounding both surprised, nervous and just a tad bit excited.

“Of course, there is just one thing that does bother me though.” He tensed up for a moment, and you almost felt bad for springing the topic on him.

“What? What is it?”

“You’re gonna have to put on some clothes.”

“…that’s it?”

“I’ve been wondering for a while why you stopped, it’s just a bit weird.”

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me naked…”

“You did it the few times we went out in public too!” You argued, and he got defensive.

“I didn’t think it mattered! It’s not like I have-”

“It’s the principle, Johnny.”

[lilacstro]

pac: messages from universe

back with another pac, trying to post as much ideas I had last week haha. choose between two piles today, i felt to do two instead of three irdk why, sincerely hoping it resonates.

paid readings are open :)

pile 1 pile 2

support me on ko-fi :)

Pile 1

"discontent" with wherever you are currently it seems. Very simple and clear messages coming through. I feel you all are holding on to something, some mindset, some unaligned person or something like that, which could be holding you back. I feel there is lack of appreciation for what situation you are in currently, you all are very out of touch with your higher inner self, your feminine and receptive side, trying to "justify" wrong feelings and things. The message for you is to go back to home. The lyrics coming up "home, let me go home, home is wherever I am with you", and you here, is yourself pile 1. dont be so caught up and hurried that you disconnect yourself from yourself and being. Don't be hurried to start something new, go to your destination skipping beats, worried and in a haste about the future or the thoughts that you are behind. No you are not. You are where you should be, and you will go through your destination through a journey, which will help you grip on the things you have been asking for. Universe is literally lending its hand to you, guiding you through your purpose and desires. Take inspired actions, talk to your loved ones, and embrace the season you are in, it wont be the same in a while. A manifestation for you is about to come true. If something was removed from your life or your life feels empty, you are about to receive what you have always wanted, the one that aligns with you, universe is making space for it in your life. Have a hold of yourself for now, try not to sulk if you are, and i promise you, you will be rewarded for putting your trust in the universe. A message coming through is a quote from buddha, "the dirt of the mind settles on its own", i heard a knock on my door as im writing this, something/someone is about to show up for you soon! also, consider going out, sitting in the sun. i also had a feeling you are struggling to make a choice of sorts, you are likely to get advice from someone, or as i may say, please take an advice from someone you trust.

Advices: 1. Stop and let it grow around you for a while. 2. anything you want, its out there somewhere 3. Make space for it 4.Rest, be gentle with yourself. 5. Content with what i already have 6. You are always shifting, and you can shift mountains too <3

I hope it resonated, all the best <33

Pile 2

The energy in this pile is so scattered, i mean different possibilities coming through. A possibility im getting for some of the people reading this pile is something changed overnight, something came crashing down. As soon as I was trying to comprehend this, my sister started singing, "you think, you'd never find another so pure, it ain't true, ain't true, ain't true, ain't no crying in the club hey hey, let the beat carry the tears as they fall baby" this is crying in the club by camilla cabello

another set of people seem to be doing relatively good, some of you might also be working on their goals and purpose with sheer determination.

Regardless of your situation, your message is clear, "your hard work will be rewarded, and everything would be so happy and joyous, it will be better than expected". if someone here was working for a family related problem or for their family, you guys would celebrate the good times coming together, its victory for you!! I definitely think there is a lot of love and harmony from the angels and higher deities you believe in, as if they are looking over you, and if you are not there yet, I see your angels will guide you through, helping you achieve the happiness you deserve. I see some of you could be meeting a partner sent from divine, something your guides would orchestrate for you. If not, then someone, maybe friends or family coming together for a celebration of some sorts, If you are even feeling stuck at the moment pile 2, its extremely short lived, this will blow out much faster than you think. If you are afraid about some important communication coming through, be assured whatever happens will happen for your highest good. I hope you all can keep on hanging in there, don't make a mess out of confusing yourself, stand firm in yourself and take actions you feel you need to take. An opportunity for travel coming through, for others, you are closing out cycles, and going to something new in your life. Release the old baggage that you don't need then, and resolve all your feelings. An advice for you is to connect with earth, maybe walk on soil and grass barefoot, maybe sit in a lotus pose and do meditations on ground. Happy times ahead for you<3 universe is just preparing you for that it seems.

Advice: 1.Ride the wave, see where it takes you 2.Find balance 3.Make the best of it 4.You have support, trust and release 5. Listen quietly 6. Its okay to feel feelings :)

I hope this resonated for you pile 2, i love you.

[xxspringmelodyxx]

𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝑀𝑒~

𝑨𝒚𝒂𝒕𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒌𝒐 𝒙 𝑭𝒆𝒎!𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 Pt II Pt I —> Here

Im a dumbass. I forgot to schedule this story, but here it is now! Please forgive me and my stupid brain! 🙏🏽 𝒘𝒄: 3.7𝒌

✩⁺₊✩☽⋆Warnings: Swearing⋆☾✩⁺₊✩

𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ✿⋆·˚❀˚·⋆✿ ˚❀˚·⋆✿

It had been weeks since Ayato had seen you, and needless to say, he was not doing well. He wasn’t eating much and barely left his room. Both Ayaka and Thoma were worried sick about him. Thoma tried to get him to eat, but Ayato would just leave the food untouched on his desk, his mind too occupied with thoughts of you. Were you okay? Were you safe? Would you eventually come back so he could tell you everything?

However, he wasn’t the only one going through this. In fact, you were suffering from the separation just as badly, if not worse. You could barely move out of your bed. Your face was stained with tears, tissues were scattered everywhere, and half-eaten food littered your room. You were having another breakdown as you recalled the events from a couple of weeks ago, clutching desperately onto a photo of you and Ayato. Your heart was absolutely broken, not just because of the necklace, but from the emptiness you felt being away from Ayato. He was the only person who made you excited to get up every day, the only person you couldn’t stop thinking about, and the only person who made your heart flutter. To say you missed him would be an understatement. You desperately wanted to see him again, to hug him and make everything right.

Ayaka and Thoma looked at each other as they watched Ayato sulk around his home. Thoma grabbed Ayaka’s hand and brought her to another room. “Okay, enough is enough,” he said. “I know. Look at him. This is the worst I’ve seen him. And Y/N is going through the same thing. They both need each other, but they’re too scared and depressed to make amends,” she responded.

Thoma and Ayaka turned around as they heard glass shatter. Ayato had dropped another glass—his tenth this week. “We need to do something before he breaks everything in here,” Thoma said. “Well, what do you suggest we do?” she asked. “We need to get them together, no matter what state they’re in.” “And how are we going to do that? Drag them out to somewhere random and hope for the best?” Ayaka asked, making Thoma smile. “Exactly! I’m glad you’re reading my mind, Ayaka,” Thoma said. “What?! I was joking—” “You go get Y/N, and I’ll bring Ayato. We’ll take them to the park where they first met and used to hang out all the time,” Thoma interrupted. “What if she doesn’t want to leave?” “Then you force her. It’s our job to help them since they can’t help themselves. Plus, it would be good for them to get some sunlight,” Thoma said. Ayaka nodded. “Right. Okay, I’ll go get her and meet you at the park around noon?” Ayaka asked. “Sounds like a plan. Operation Lovebirds is on the go!” Thoma said, walking away. “Operation Lovebirds?” Ayaka teased, making Thoma blush. “Shut up. It’s a good name, alright? Now go get Y/N,” he said, walking away. Ayaka chuckled, turning on her heel and heading out to drag you out of your house.

—

“Come on, Y/N, you need to get out! You can’t just lay here for the rest of your life!” Ayaka begged. “Watch me!” you said into your pillow as Ayaka pulled on your arm. Ayaka sighed, letting go of your arm. “Y/N, please. At least sit up so I can see you.” “No,” your muffled voice said. “Y/N. We miss you. Me, Thoma… Ayato…” “Don’t say his name, please,” your voice started to break. Ayaka looked down at you with saddened eyes. “Okay, that’s it. Get up,” she said, yanking your arm as hard as she could, forcing you to sit up. “Geez! Rip my arm off, why don’t you!” you said. Ayaka got a good look at you, trying her best not to make a disgusted face.

Your hair was a mess. It looked like a bird’s nest. Your eyes were swollen from crying, you had what looked like ice cream on your shirt, and your face was stained from your tears. “My goodness.” She gasped, making you glare at her.

“Thanks. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to bed—” “No, you’re not!” Ayaka said, grabbing your arm and throwing you out of bed. “What the hell, Ayaka! Let me—” “No! You are coming outside with me whether you like it or not. Now lets go! Don’t make me do it,” she said, holding your favorite ice cream. She opened your window and held it outside. “No! Not my ice cream! Let it go!” you said. “Okay, if you say so,” she said, lifting one of her fingers. “No! Not there! Why are you being so annoying!” She let another finger go. You watched the ice cream start to slip out of her hand. “Fine, fine! I’ll go with you. Just put my ice cream back.” She smiled and was about to bring it in when it suddenly fell out of her hand. Her eyes widened as she watched it plop to the ground, birds coming to eat it.

She turned towards you, who looked furious at her. “Whoops…” she said sheepishly. “I’ll buy you more! I promise. Now let’s go!” she said, grabbing your arm and dragging you to the park.

—-

“Ayato, let’s go,” Thoma said sternly. “I can’t go out like this, nor do I want to go out at all,” Ayato said as he looked at a picture of you and him when you were younger. “You can’t keep moping around here for the rest of your life. You need to go out and enjoy some sun.” “How can I enjoy anything when I lost the one thing that was most important to me?” he said softly, his voice cracking. Thoma sighed and sat down next to Ayato, placing his arm on his shoulder. “Ayato, I know you’re hurting right now. But I need you to at least try to get up and come with me. I have a surprise for you.”

That caught Ayato’s attention. “What could you possibly have that would make me want to leave my room?” Ayato asked, looking at him. Thoma looked him up and down, taking in his… new look. He was much the same as you—messy hair, red and puffy eyes from crying, and there was even some food on his expensive clothing. “If I tell you, it would ruin the surprise. Now come on, there is not much time to waste. We only have…” Thoma said, looking at a nearby clock. His eyes widened as he saw it was 11:30. “Shit! We have to go! We are going to be late!” Thoma yelled, catching Ayato off guard. Thoma yanked Ayato up and dragged him out of the house. “Wait! I can’t go out like this!” Ayato pulled back, but it wasn’t enough as Thoma had a stronger grip. “It doesn’t matter! Let’s go!” Thoma said as they both ran down the hill.

—

As Ayaka dragged you down the street, a familiar voice caught both of your attention. “Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” Kanaka. You stared at her, your confusion and sadness quickly being replaced with another emotion. “How’s the whole Ayato situation going, huh? Did you finally come to terms with the fact that you aren’t worth his time?” Kanaka asked. Ayaka glared at her, ready to defend you at all costs. “Now you listen here—” “No, Ayaka. Let me speak,” you interrupted, putting a hand in front of her.

You turned towards Kanaka with a glare that could freeze anyone who dared to look at you. “It's sad that you find joy in hurting others. It's one of the most troubling things I've ever seen in a person, and trust me, your arrogance will eventually be your downfall. For the sake of those you've hurt and those you might hurt in the future, I hope you can change. More importantly, I hope you realize the harm you've done to yourself. I hope that someone can help you open your heart and become a better person. But, I'm not going to stay angry at you anymore. The damage is already done. If you want to upset me, you’ve failed, and you will continue to do so as you mean nothing to me. Goodbye." You said calmly, turning around and leaving with Ayaka. Kanaka just stood there, dumbfounded by your words.

“Why didn’t you punch her?” Ayaka asked. “She is not worth my time anymore,” you responded simply. “Well, she may not be worth yours, but she certainly is worth mine,” Ayaka said, stopping to turn to Kanaka. She walked up to her and, without hesitation, raised her fist and punched Kanaka as hard as she could, knocking her back. Ayaka turned back to you with a pleased face, taking your arm and dragging you once again.

——

“Remind me why you brought me all the way out here?” you asked Ayaka as she sat you down in a chair with a blindfold on. “It’s a surprise! I just… hope it gets here soon. They were already supposed to be here,” Ayaka said nervously. To be honest, she wasn’t sure how this was going to play out. Maybe her hopes were too high, but she believed that you two would fix things and become at least friends again. “They?” you responded. As you said that, your blindfold was removed and you saw someone in front of you have their blindfold removed as well. Once your vision cleared, you felt a pain in your chest as you saw the man you didn’t want to see. “Y/N?” Ayato asked with a hoarse voice. You took a good look at him and saw that he was pretty much in the same state as you.

You didn’t say anything and just stood up, getting ready to leave. However, Ayaka pushed you back down and forced you to stay. “Now you two need to talk. I’m sick and tired of seeing you both in this state, especially when you’re best friends,” Thoma said. You and Ayato looked each other in the eye, not knowing what to say. “Now, we are going to leave you two alone. If I see one of you try to leave, I’ll have to punish you,” Ayaka said, taking Thoma away with her. There was a long, awkward silence as you two stared anywhere but at each other.

Ayaka huffed. “It’s not working.” “Just give them a little while. You can’t expect something to happen right away,” Thoma responded. Ayato finally took a glance at you, seeing how much you had been impacted over the weeks. He felt his heart break as he realized it was all because of him. He never wanted to hurt you, yet there you were, completely heartbroken because of his dumb choices. He needed to fix things with you. And right now was the perfect time to do so. He grunted before he spoke, unsure of how to start. “Y/N, I…” he began, seeing you glance at him before looking away. He sighed, deciding to let it all go. He had nothing left to lose after all.

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” he said, making you look up at him. “I am so sorry for being a douchebag to you, for believing Kanaka over you, and for breaking your heart because of my actions. I-I never meant to do that… I never wanted to do that.”

“I just… I had hoped that Kanaka actually loved me for me… not just for my wealth and status.” You cut in, “I loved you for who you were… and you still betrayed me.” “I know that now…. But before, I thought you just saw me as a friend. My whole mindset was that… if you couldn’t love me after all you’ve seen… then no one else could possibly love me. That was until I met Kanaka. She made me feel—” “Amazing? Warm? She made your heart flutter?” you asked, already knowing the answer was yes.

“No,” he stated plainly, catching you off guard. “I never felt that way with her,” he said. “Then why the hell did you date her?” you asked. He sighed, looking away. “I hoped eventually I would feel that way around her. But nothing ever changed. I figured that I only deserved that, especially since I couldn’t have you,” he said. “Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt?” you asked. “The same reason you didn’t,” he said, making you look away. “Because I didn’t want to ruin our already close relationship. I loved you so much, and I still do, Y/N. But before I knew how you felt about me, I tried to find someone else to replace those feelings for you. I tried so hard to fall in love with Kanaka… but I just couldn’t. Every time I kissed her, every time I hugged her, every time I slept next to her… I always imagined it to be you. No matter what I did to try and get rid of my feelings for you, they always found a way back and more powerful.”

You were still silent, but you started to feel a familiar feeling in your chest. It felt… nice and comforting. “Y/N… there has only ever been one girl who I felt warm, happy, and excited to be around.” “Who?” He smiled while looking down. “You,” he said, making your heart start to warm up. “I know what I did will never be forgivable… but I do hope one day, you will find it in yourself to at least come back to me and at least be my friend.” “Ayato—” “I know you said all your love for me has vanished… but…” he said, starting to slowly break as tears filled his eyes. His hands clenched tight as he spoke, his knuckles turning white. You saw him do this and realized just how badly this was hurting him, something you never wanted to see happen, nonetheless do. It hurts you to see him this way. “Ayato—” “But I hope we can still be friends,” he said, grabbing your hand, holding it tight. Tears were falling from his eyes now, his hair shielding his eyes from you.

“I need you in my life, Y/N. I know what I did was stupid and hurtful to you, I know I was the reason for the most precious thing in your life being broken, I know what you are feeling right now is all because of me. But please, Y/N, please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I am sorry, okay? I will apologize a thousand, no, a million times if I have to. I will do anything it takes to get you back. I would get rid of all I have just to see you again, Y/N. Without you, everything I have means nothing to me. Life means nothing to me. I love you… I love you with all that I am,” he cried silently.

Your eyes filled with tears as you listened carefully to him. You looked down at his wrist and saw how much skinnier it was compared to when you last saw him. Had he not been eating? All because of you? This isn’t what you wanted. You figured he would be just fine without you, but now your mind was starting to change. You knew that he meant every word he said too. To be honest, you couldn’t function without him either. You needed him in your life just as much as he needed you. You wanted to say something, something that could finally bond your relationship back together… but you couldn’t think of anything. A silent sob slipped out of your mouth as you felt his hand start to retreat.

No… you weren’t going to let this end just because of a mistake. You grabbed his hand back, causing him to pause. He looked at your hand grabbing onto his. He slowly looked up at your face, wondering what you were doing. You stood up, his hand still in yours, and pulled him in for a warm embrace. His arms quickly wrapped around your body as yours wrapped around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” “I know… I’m sorry, too. I should have never let a simple mistake tear our relationship apart.” “You don’t need to apologize, especially when this was all still my fault. I hope you eventually can forgive me,” he whispered in your ear. You hugged him tighter.

“I already have, Ayato,” you said with a small smile for the first time in a while. He smiled back as well, feeling his heart flutter. You felt the same. You let go and looked up at him with a smile, making his stomach have butterflies. Seeing your smile was all he needed to start to feel better. “Y/N… I… I really do love you,” he said awkwardly. You softly placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him forward to you. “I love you too, Ayato.”

A blush made its way to his face as he heard you say that. He grunted, trying to fix his composure a bit. “W-W-Well… I hope I’m not taking this too far, but… Y/N, will you please allow me the honor of being your boyfriend? Will you please be mine… forever?” he asked, nervous about your reply. However, that nervousness vanished as you smiled at him. “Does this answer your question?” you asked right before you kissed him. His eyes widened as his heart pounded out of his chest. He had been waiting for this moment for years, and it had finally come true.

He kissed you back with more passion, holding you close to him. Thoma and Ayaka cheered for you two in the background, high-fiving each other as they accomplished their mission. You let go of the kiss and smiled at him, all those wonderful feelings hitting you like a bus. He felt much the same. A few tears fell from both of your eyes as you finally made up, but also because you finally had each other’s love. You hugged again, kissing at the same time. It was so nice and warm and fuzzy. It was a feeling both of you never wanted to disappear.

“Okay you lovebirds, go get a room,” Ayaka said, making you both look at the pair. You smiled at them and thanked them for their help.

“It’s no biggie. You would have needed us sooner or later,” Ayaka joked. “Now, before you two go at it again, please for the love of Archons, go clean yourselves up! You both look homeless,” Thoma teased, making you and Ayato look at each other with smiles. “You are the most beautiful homeless woman I have ever met,” Ayato said, making you giggle while playfully hitting him.

However, you quickly stopped once you realized Ayaka still owed you something. You turned to her with a glare, making her deadpan. “Where is my ice cream?” you said with a low voice, making her freak out. She started to run away, making you follow her around. “I told you I’d buy another one soon!” Ayaka whined. “I want it now! That ice cream was almost $15!”

“$15?! Why would you buy such an expensive ice cream?!” Ayaka yelled out. “Because it was the best ice cream ever, now get over here!” you yelled, making her scream and run faster. Ayato and Thoma laughed at the scene. He turned to Thoma.

“Thank you. Without your help, I would’ve never been able to call her mine. I would have never been able to make up with her. Just… thank you, Thoma,” Ayato said with a smile as he watched you. “What are bros for? Just make sure you treat her right or I swear I’ll poison your drink if you ever hurt her again,” Thoma said with a devious smile, making Ayato chuckle. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dream of it. I love her too much,” he said, making Thoma grossed out. “Okay, that’s enough romance today. I’m going to make us dinner. You and Y/N should go get cleaned up.”

Ayato looked at you and smiled, picking you up easily. “Ayato, put me down! I want my dessert!” he chuckled, kissing you on the lips. “I’ll buy you all the ice cream you want… after we both go shower,” he said, making you smile. “Okay, but it better be good ice cream.” He chuckled. “Don’t worry, I will make sure to get you the finest of all ice creams.”

“Wait, when you say we both go shower… does that mean—” “You and I are going to shower together,” he said plainly. Your face heated up right away as the thought of you and him showering together ran through your mind. “What’s the matter, dear? You seem like you have something important on your mind,” Ayato teasingly asked, knowing exactly what was going through your head. He chuckled and kissed your forehead. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fun. I’ll make sure to show you all my love, dear,” he whispered in your ear, making you place your hands on your face to hide yourself. “I love you, Y/N.” He said, making you kiss him. “I love you too, Ayato.”

Your body filled with butterflies at this point from all the love he was showing you at the park… and soon, it will be filled with something else later… wink wink….

__________________

[soracities]

hii! do you ever get into a huge reading slump? i would say ive been in one for about 3 years now and im desperate to escape it and read again but i cant find anything that's 'popular' enjoyable and have no idea where to start in finding content and books i actually enjoy by myself without tiktok or booktube 😭

Oh I've been in a particularly bad slump for at least 2 years so yes, absolutely! I think the key thing here is to try and remove the pressure off yourself as much as you can: don't look at every book you approach with the mindset of "THIS is will be the antidote to my reading slump" or "THIS novel will save me" because it will most likely stop you from actually enjoying the book: when you go in with such high expectations, you're also bringing a very distracting form of hyper-vigilance with you, waiting for the magic moment to hit, counting the pages until it does, being too conscious or worried when it doesn't in the way you envisioned it. It will turn reading into a chore, an endurance test which you either succeed or fail at, and this will only cement the slump further.

Everyone is different and I don't know what kind of books you like most, but the best thing I can advise is to go back before your slump and see what some of your favourite reads were. One way to ease back into reading is to revisit books you loved and read them again--this eliminates some of the pressure and I think it can also help rebuild that excitement because you know you're returning to familiar ground you've enjoyed before. That, or find other works by those same authors whose writing / style you liked and slowly expand from there. I don't log my reading through apps or websites anymore (and I stay away from booktok like the plague but that's a whole other conversation)--I have an ask on how I find my books here and I hope that helps too--but I've heard really good things about The Storygraph so if tiktok and booktube haven't done it for you, this might be a much better way to move towards books you actually enjoy because it's based on your preferences, not an influencer's or what an algorithm is pushing.

Whatever book you decide to try next, I would also advise you to start slow and / or small if that's what you need (more here)--don't force yourself to plow through several hundred pages in one sitting or 2 days. Sometimes breaking a slump is far more sustainable when you do it chip by chip, slowly, but consistently in a way that makes it less daunting than thinking you have to finish 2 novels every week. Something as simple as setting aside 15 minutes to read in bed before you go to sleep each night can do it. You can also look at audiobook versions, or short story collections in whatever genre it is you enjoy most!

Best of luck, anon, and I hope some of these answers will help 🤍

[irkimatsu]

i just read the “rough sex, Husk catching feeling” story of yours & im wondering if you could pretty please make a part 2 🙏

I really thought this was going to end up smutty, but I decided in the end that it wasn't what Husk needed in the moment. He's got feelings, too, and sometimes he just needs a hug. They can fuck again later, it's fine.

Third person, not quite NSFW but still has some spice to it. A sequel to this post. Shoutout to @thorteddy for the original prompt!

It had been about a week since he’d last seen her.

It wasn’t a terribly long time; she’d had her stints before where she’d drop by constantly for a month or so, then vanish for a few weeks. Husk never worried too much when that happened. He simply figured she had other things to be doing. It wasn’t like they were close enough for him to care what she did away from the hotel.

They were close enough to fuck when she dropped by. Just not close enough for him to care where she was otherwise..

At least, they weren’t until Angel had to go and open his mouth.

“I wonder if she lets other guys fuck her like that or if you’ve got special privileges.”

He hadn’t been able to shake that thought ever since Angel said that. Did she see other people? What would stop her from that? Surely not him. He never told her he wanted to be exclusive with her or anything. Why the hell would he have said that in the first place? They were just friends who helped each other with stress relief, and that was all.

Even as he thought that, he couldn’t help but stare at the front door of the hotel as he cleaned up for the night, wondering if this time she’d come through those doors to see him again.

She didn’t. With a frustrated growl, he slammed the last batch of glasses onto the shelf, somehow not breaking any, and stalked off to his bedroom for another night alone.

It’d be another four frustrating days until he’d see her again.

—

It hadn’t even been two weeks since their last intense session, and yet for Husk, it seemed like forever since he held her in his arms. His claws lightly combed through her hair as he kissed her, while her own hands focused their affection on his chest.

“You don’t normally focus on kissing this long,” she observed with a laugh. “You feeling all right?”

Had he been lingering here for so long? He’d lost track of time. “What’s wrong with that?” he protests. “I like kissing ya.”

“I know you do,” she said as she climbed into his lap. “I know what other things you like doing to me, too…” She grabbed his cheeks - fuck her hands were so warm, why was that such a good spot for her to touch - and pulled him in for another kiss. She shifted her hips and started rocking into his waist, moaning as she rubbed against his bulge.

“Hey…” Husk gently grabbed her waist and slid her away from his erection. “Hold on.”

“Are you okay, Husk?” she asked, brow furrowed. “Is something bothering you?”

He took a deep breath before letting that burning question tumble out of his mouth.

“Do you ever fuck anyone besides me?” he asked, so bluntly and out of nowhere that she couldn't help but laugh.

“Husk! Where is this coming from? What, do you have an interested friend? Maybe you want to try a threesome?” She cooed this last suggestion while dragging a finger down Husk’s chest. Her attitude almost got him to pounce her, if only his head wasn’t such a mess right now.

“Was just wonderin’...” he asked as his ears drooped. “It’s not a big deal.”

“I mean… don’t you?” she asked in return. “Surely I’m not the only drunk you’ve picked up in a bar.”

Husk is certain his silence speaks volumes.

“Husk…” She climbed out of Husk’s lap, now that he’s made it clear that this isn’t a good time. “Should I go?”

“No,” Husk said, instinctively grabbing her wrist. “Stay.”

“Did you want to keep making out?” she asked as she sat down beside him.

“...I don’t know what I want,” he admitted after a heavy sigh. “What are we? What am I to you?”

“We’re fuckbuddies!” she responded with a laugh, making Husk’s ears flatten further. “That’s what you wanted, right? When we first met you said you weren’t looking for anything serious, and I wasn’t either, so…” Upon noticing Husk’s discomfort, she spoke more gently. “Isn’t it what you wanted…?”

“I’ve been through a lot of shit, you know?” Husk said. “I’m a divorced old man, and the only mistake my wife ever made in our marriage was not leaving me sooner. I didn’t have relationships figured out with her, and I sure as hell never figured them out after that. It’s hard to when you’re a fucking drunk with a gambling problem. Who’d want to get close to something like that?” He started regretting not bringing a drink up here with him like he normally did when alone. “Of course I wasn’t looking for something else when I met you. I can’t handle anything else.

…but I don’t know if I can handle this, either.”

“Handle what?” she asked, not quite understanding.

“...look. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep seeing you. I’m lying to myself if I try to keep it casual, but I sure as hell can’t drag you down with me.” He sighed again as he let go of her wrist. “You should just go.”

He sat waiting for the bed to lift in her absence. The sensation never came.

Instead, a set of claws started gently rubbing his back. Not so close to his wings to get him frustrated, and not deep with desperate need; just a calming, circular stroke.

“I don’t know if I can do it, either,” she admitted. “Relationships, I mean. It’s been a long time, and I’ve got my own baggage… but can I tell you something?”

“Hm?” Husk didn’t look at her as she spoke.

“It’s true, you’re not the only guy I’ve been with recently…”

Not what he wanted to hear. It took all his willpower not to bristle his fur and growl in jealousy over something that wasn’t even his.

“...but you’re the only one I see regularly.” She scooted closer to him to rest his head on your shoulder. “I don’t know… there’s just something about you. Something I want to know more about. Sure, I’ve been physically attracted to other guys, but I didn’t want to get to know them like I want to know you.”

Husk scoffed. “There’s really not that much to know about me. I’m an old drunk who screwed up my life, and now I’m stuck here.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she said. “You can’t live as long as you have without having some interesting stories!”

“Is that what you really wanna do?” he asked. “Lay in an old man’s bed while he tells you stories?”

“Who says we only have to see each other in bed?” she asked. “It’s not like you can’t be seen in public with me, can it?”

“Well, no…”

“Then take me on a date tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be anything special. Just show me a place you like, where we can get to know each other. Would you enjoy that?”

Taking her out on a date… maybe a nice lunch at a music hall… Husk couldn’t help but smile at that idea. “Okay. It’s a date.”

“Sounds good!” she said, her bright smile chasing away even a little bit of the dark cloud that always loomed over Husk’s mind. “As for tonight… did you still wanna?”

Husk felt pathetic before the words even left his mouth. “...can we just cuddle tonight?”

Instead of shaming him for the uncharacteristic request for affection, she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed. “Of course. Cuddling sounds nice.”

“...and can you stay until morning this time?”

“I’ll stay,” she promised, sealing it with a kiss on his cheek.