#im trying to sleep but then my brain just goes “okay but like remember how our tav could probably get wings in the epilogue technically”

[lixbf]

can my brain please stop thinking about bg3 ive been laying in bed for like 4hrs now

[moonsaver]

Do you have any thoughts about the opposite of the "Im afraid to confess because our friendship could get ruined"? As in, "I'm afraid to reject you because I don't want to lose this friendship so I accept your confession even though I don't feel that way for you and never will".

Like the protagonist tries to convince themselves that this is just like being friends only that we now kiss (and more). I feel like it would fit with a yandere that is a bit delusional or desperate, eveb insecure so whenever the protagonist doesnt seem as into this relationship as them, they just try to convince themselves otherwise, or love bomb the protagonist.

Idk lately Ive been into reversing the tropes and I found this one particularly interesting to me when it comes to a yandere. In HSR i was thinking of Argenti as he seems like the delusional type. Or even Aventurine who would have had to put down a lot of walls to be friends with you and then even more walls just to confess, so rejecting him doesnt seem like an option to the protag (out of pity and care).

THIS THIS THIS!!!! qnon ur brain is so wrinkly and soggy with brain juice..... this used to be my favorite trope at some point idk why i forgot about it i remember eating up any fanfics out there based on this

Tw: yandere (obv), manipulation, intimacy (mainly romantic, only hints of sexual), emotional blackmailing, whatever yadda yadda

But anyways, under the cut!

Okay, so, I imagine this is possible with literally... almost all of hsr's cast. Mainly because most of them have such tragic backstories, and most of them out of that have a really shrewd and cunning mind, so they'll exploit this to hell and back.

I also imagine this is with a people pleasing reader, so lets go with a bit of implication of that.

Anyways, since Aventurine and Argenti are the ones mentioned specifically, I'll probably dive in on them first.

Aventurine is so hard to not feel pity for. Every stolen glance at the marking on his neck makes you feel worse and worse for "rejecting him", knowing he's been throwing signs of wanting more than a friendship quite possibly everywhere and you're most likely ignoring them in hopes of keeping your friendship. It's not like he hasn't quite caught on, either. He knows people's hearts quite well. And where there's opportunity, he seizes it.

It's a bit frustrating for him – just why can't you see he wants more? Or rather, just why aren't you accepting him? You're the first thing on his mind when he wakes up, when he clutches his chip and bets on his life, the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep. Hell, he's even tried to dream of you, forcefully. But then he realizes.. how easy you are to just push around. He goes ahead with the confession, and it's almost a sadistic kind of pleasure when he sees you even try and stutter out any kind of a rejection when he's leaning in a perfect angle that shows off his little marking (out of all the times he curses it, it seems like this time it's worked in his favor). He watches carefully as your eyes nervously flit to his neck and you shut up immediately for a second, before accepting. And when you do.. he's over the moon! Coddles you, kisses your cheeks, becomes so much more grabby, as his keen eyes watch your discomfort. Well.. you didn't reject him, so this is what you should expect.

Again, the frustration doesn't wear off easily, but just seeing you writhe and try to create distance while he suffocates you in affection far from platonic nature, is so sadistically pleasuring to him. He loves watching you in that state, bending to his will so easily, as he waits for you to snap. But he'll probably find it easier to squeeze water out of a rock than to squeeze a rejection out of you – which is precisely what he exploits. You're not going anywhere, are you? He puts on his best, pleading little eyes that he used to have to put on, shaking, trembling voice, desperate hands that cling to you; all the things he acts out like his life depends on it when he senses even a waver of your hesitation.

Oh, fine.. he hates seeing you so queasy almost all the time, so he'll give you a reprieve from time to time. Plans and schedules things you used to do "back when you were friends" (he emphasizes this – you don't think you can just ignore everything, right?), and makes sure to at least crack a few smiles and giggles from you. Of course.. his hand is still loosely hanging around your waist, pecks you on the lips from time to time, just as a small reminder of what you guys really are now.

Argenti on the other hand, has no awareness of your discomfort at all.

He's like a huge dog, the way he's so happy about you accepting his confession and doesn't even stop to think afterwards just why you were so hesitant during it.

Constantly praises you, and it's not soon before it gets to a more intimate nature. He wants to do all the romantic things – kissing under the rain, protecting you from something, twirling you in the air and then kissing you again after putting you down, telling everyone proudly that you two are a couple, buying more and more "romantic" gifts that turn more intimate sooner or later. You have no way out of this without completely ruining everything.

It's.. almost painful the way he doesn't realise. At some point your discomfort probably gets so.. obvious, but he just shrugs it off; perhaps he hasn't been paying you enough attention? Or you're just too shy to ask something of him? Oh, how sweet! How adorable! He thinks. He simply falls deeper and deeper into this delusion, stringing you along and stretching your patience thin. Unfortunately, unlike Aventurine, you can't find most, if any bits of the things you both used to do as platonic companions in the relationship you have with Argenti. He's just a full-blown romantic who wants to do only that. It makes you even more queasy when people look at you in pity, if they realize just what happened between you two.

You can't back out, even if you tried. If you somehow manage to find a way to squeeze out a rejection, or have any kind of a reservation about things getting more intimate/romantic stuff, he's so devastated. Did he do something wrong? Perhaps he's not as experienced as you wanted him to be? Or you're not satisfied with some of the things he's said? Don't fret, he's right on it! Constantly holding you so close you're afraid your bones will break, whispering incessant praises into your ear that slowly spiral into affirmations that you belong to him, spoiled rotten with everything you want; yet, even then.. you can't shake off the intention they were given in. Not when you're suffocated by it.

[scatteredraysofhope]

I don't want to exist anymore. I just want to die or maybe just sleep forever. Why cant humans hibernate like brown bears? That would be nice.. i feel like after sleeping for so long i wouldnt even remember who i was and that sounds beautiful. I always feel like im the worst no matter how hard I try. whats the point in trying anymore? I know no matter how it goes i will only see the mistakes and then play it over and over and over and over again in my brain that just haunts me forever and ill just want a hole to open up in the ground so i can dissappear. I just hate existing and being constantly seen and perceived by people. I hate that my brain won't just shut up about the way people perceive me. Like I am fully aware that nobody care about me and everyones wrapped up in their own lives. But then why do I still feel so uncomfortable. Why do i hate existing so much im just so tired of my brain and the constant useless thoughts. I know im still on a low dose but i dont think the medication is working :( I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part... i was so hopefully it would work that every little thing that somehow went right i would be like yay my medication must be working but my brain as still just as scrambled as before ...I still feel awful all the time for no reason and I don't really think that will ever change. I'm stuck like this forever. It is a chronic mental illness after all. It's a disability for a reason and I don't know if I will ever be able to manage

I couldn't sleep the whole night before my presentation. My anxious brain just kept thinking thoughts and I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. Then I ended up crying to my mom in the morning about how I can never seem to get anything done on time. She said I'll probably need therapy again. I'm honestly happy cause i hate to admit it but i think I do too.

Luckily i asked my teacher for extra time and he seemed to be understanding... I hope I do okay enough for this to not be another scaring memory of my education that will haunt me forever until I die

[atechnobladeapologist]

Paralels between Emerald duo and Codebreakers (canons and headcanons).

First of all they are my favorites character, I cannot even put in words how much I like them, my brain is gonna rot.

Personally I dont like to see the relationship that Phil have with them as something pathernal, but more as something close to the idea of the Moiral quadrant that we had on homestuck.

For you who saved your ass and stayed farrr away from this webcomic (just joking dont take that part too serious), Moirail basicly are besties that has a strings and specials bond, Moirail it’s that person who you feel safe to open up and talk about problems and feelings. That’s it if I dont mistaken me, omg my memorie is so poor, but look if Im wrong this is still the concept that Im looking for okay :c

Based on it, we should normalize kiss your best- COF COF, I mean, normalize writing an open love letter to your best friend in a pretty platonic way (Im not being ironic).

In short, they are best friends, bros, buddys.

Yeh I talk too much, too much, lesgo then.

The totem thing. I like to think Philza is pretty concerned with the boys, because Techno and Elotes are almost two ambulant suicidals just because of the totens, yet Phil is just like omggg sit down and stay quiet just for two entire minutes. I imagine Phil have constantly to bandage and sew up their wounds, SPECIALLY with Etoiles, that French Beast thing and his way of looking at thing intensifies this a lot.

I have a really strong headcanon that in both codebreakers and emerald duo Techno and Etoiles have a very strong relationship with Mumza because of the times they almost died (a pretty fun relationship btw, I bet she gives advices and philosophizes about life with them), at the point they know her even BEFORE know Philza or as long as they know him, and all this often without Philza even knowing, and when he descovers he goes like: WHAT?!

Even though Philza doesnt look physically as strong as them (I like to think he is, for real) the two still admire the man as if he were a super cool older friend, and besides none of them show it to Phil or tell him, they both are like: LOOK that cool guy is MY FRIEND, how cool, isnt it?

Headcanon, the warriors already cried in front him.

I know that Techno is pretty concerned about his reputation in a certain way but I really like to pass this to Etoiles too, Imagine a moment where they are showing friendly affection for eachother with a hug or something, and out of nowhere they break up and Etoiles says, “man, I’m enjoying this but it hurts my reputation”, even when theres NO ONE close to see it, they’re just so out of touch they have ashamed of it, in the most fluffy way you can imagine that, it’s pretty funny imagine beasts, unshakable warriors that just cant deal with a hug of their best friend.

Techno hear voices, Etoiles get the paranoid <3

They have wavy and curly hair and sometimes Phil helps them to finish their hair, for techno he usually braid his all hair and for Etoiles he do a tiny terere on the side. Philza encourage both to take more care of their hair because he likes the curls and waves.

Techno and Etoiles have completly unexpected hobbies, I like to think that tech know how to sew and he have a whole sketchbook just for crosquis and Etoiles constantly draw and makes small wood sculptures, cute things because he usually gives to Pomme. We can invert this too btw, I think it matchs with both!

Despite Phil’s warnings they simply refuse to have a healthy sleep schedule.

If it was necessary they would sacrifice themselfs for keep the oldman safe.

I didn’t talk much about Phil :c but I was trying to do something more focused on Tecchnoblade and Etoiles in the relationship with him ya know? Maybe another time I’ll do something for our blondie girlie pop.

I truly like how those duos are simillary with eachother even when one of them are different people. Btw codebreakers should be more contrast on the fandom hihi.

Just to remember English is not my mother language so sorry for the poor words choose.

[jovenshires]

ask time!! do you have any obscure/niche headcanons of your fav ships? (whether in general or specific to a fic) i wanna know bestie!! -baflegacy

@baflegacy i was not ignoring you i promise just thinking VERY HARD. okay im gonna do specific fics bc otherwise my brain will melt like goop right out of my ears

the right side of my neck (still smells like you):

shayne and kimmy text each other immediately after work. "did he tell you" "did HE tell YOU" and meanwhile spommy are talking to each other like "oh my god those two are gonna have a fucking field day with this one"

spencer always trims tommy's hair after that whenever he asks. he's basically a hairdresser now honestly icon behavior

tommy gets confused bc all the sudden his shampoo starts getting used up and he's like ??? turns out spencer's been using it every time he showers there. "bro it smells like you." tommy just gets him his own bottle LKNDNFKNF

baby, you're a haunted house:

first official date is to a horror movie <3

they come into the office later and ALL of the crew is laughing at them. rightfully so. by the end of the day the whole office knows and is bullying them mercilessly.

shayne and kiana will take credit for getting them together until the end of their days (they didn't do anything but they pretend that they did <3)

he said baby (that's what he called me):

when tommy wakes him up for dinner they Do Not talk about it because spencer genuinely doesn't remember saying it and tommy is a nervous wreck. spencer notices but doesn't ask because tommy will talk about it when he's ready <3 also tommy makes spaghetti

they lay on the couch for the rest of the night bc tommy knows spencer's gonna be Awake now so he's gonna stay up with him. they play some video games and throw on a movie. eventually tommy falls asleep on the couch using spencer as a pillow

tommy starts packing spencer's lunch for the next day because he's manifesting he'll take care of himself better <3

they lost their minds and fought the wars;

tommy trying to teach spencer how to cook era ensues!! it does not go very well. spencer keeps almost burning down the kitchen. but tommy persists! he learns how to make more than breakfast eventually and no longer burns toasts <3

courtney asks spencer about the card bc they're nosey and so she Must. the irresistable urge to know things, just like me fr. spencer immediately goes red and tommy has to jump in to protect him from being teased for the rest of his life FKLNWNNN (it's not easy)

spencer gets some stars tattooed. that's it that's the whole headcanon. and im going crazy about it.

i could be the reason (you don't sleep at night):

they barely leave their room. for the rest of the weekend. chanse makes fun of them maliciously for this. arasha is more "go gays! gay it up!" about the whole thing.

kimmy comes over and is like "omg your bed is so tidy angela how do you do it!!" and angela doesn't have the heart to tell her she decided to be gay instead of sleeping in her own bed so she just goes "uhhh slept on top of the covers" shayne-style

they both ride in rock's car on the way home <3 and they both sleep <3 rock is also pro but anti pda in the car ya nasties

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours:

instead of abby lee miller, spencer and tommy do horror movie-themed carves (spencer does sam trick r treat bc i said so and tommy does pinhead Also because i said so)

they also do a couple's costume bc tommy is just that bitch, respectfully. the couple from the shining methinks. tell me they wouldn't eat that up.

spencer gradually gets more comfortable with pda and tommy generally eases up. they meet in the middle <3

right where you left me:

for the next few halloweens shayne is ALWAYS on edge. just in case you know. what if he lets his guard down and it happens again. damien just comes to understand "this is gonna be how it is" and always makes sure to pay extra special attention and take care of him on halloween <3

they move like. stupidly fast in their relationship which everyone else thinks is a little. strange. but damiens been in love with shayne for as long as he's known him and shayne has lived through a time loop so yeah they're moving in together as soon as one of their leases end and saying i love you within days what about it!

shayne turns off taylor swift songs any time he hears them. damien does Not Ask and also begins to pre-emptively turn off her music. in fact EVERYONE comes to understand Not to put ts on office party mixes because shayne WILL take control of the aux

sunflower:

tommy starts spending All his time at spencer, arasha, and shayne's apartment because he's gonna take all the time with spencer he can get because his job (the school newspaper? tommy thinks?) takes up so much time. this leads to of course shayne and arasha having to quickly and comically hide any spiderman-related things around the house

the next time tommy sees spiderman he expects it to be awkward and spencer, kind of forgetting the whole rejection happened bc the love confession also happened, is like "??? huh. oh. OHHH i mean. ohhh noooo my broken heart :(((("

shayne talks about how he gave one of arasha's partners the shovel talk and tommy's like "lol you didn't give me the shovel talk shayne what are you homophobic" and shayne's like "oh no. i gave SPENCER the shovel talk. you're too cool for him to fuck this up"

dancing on my own:

in my brain trevor enters smosh in the domoverse and spends a lot of time hanging out with spencer and sees what's going on INSTANTLY. i might touch on this in the sequel but he is less afraid to meddle than anyone else and if he spots spencer getting uncomfortable will offer to sub in for a video for him or will drag him out of a conversation / a room. yeah. lil brother trev :')

as part of his birthday present for tommy, spencer gets bussy some official adoption papers. obviously.

courtney and kiana are stressing and texting about all this CONSTANTLY. tommy will look over at court and be like "you look stressed is everything okay" and court will slam their phone on the table and go like "NOTHING. UHHHH TAXES." and change the subject

blue christmas:

at the christmas party the next night shayne does end up showing and having a great time. chanse is an excellent party host and has them play a bunch of games that makes him feel like he isn't a stranger to these people at all. not to mention chanse's friends are just cool

the office actually doesn't find out for Forever bc they keep it on the dl for a while but one day chanse just comes in and kisses shayne hello and angela does a full spit take

every year for christmas chanse definitely does a bit that only he finds funny thats like "this year ive decided to get you the renewal of our anniversary <3 i am your greatest gift <3" and shayne's like "cool i got you a spiderman blanket" and chanse is like. "... okay fine i actually got you another open overshirt for straight men :/"

we can leave the christmas lights up 'til january:

they both just decorate the tree at spencer's apartment bc they basically both live there anyway, so tommy only gets / brings ornaments to put on spencer's tree. together they start a whole dorky ornament collection it's very cute :')

the christmas party they throw is incredible and all of their friends ARE pissed that they got them gifts when they agreed on no gifts. but courtney does cry over her little grease cat <3

they officially move in together at the beginning of the new year <3

if we keep score:

their first official date is to mini-golf because they literally cant not be competitive. then they go get ice cream !

tommy can't go to spencer's prom BUT. spencer can go to tommy's! he goes as the date of one of tommy's female friends at olops so they get to hang out. they can't like dance or anything (tommy WILL get in so much trouble he'll be lucky if he graduates) but they're there together and that's what matters <3

they do go to each other's graduations though and they are both extremely embarrassing while cheering each other on. shayne, damien, and alex also tag along to tommy's graduation and they have like a full banner for him. tommy pretends he hates it (he LOVES it)

i could go on and on and on:

this is less of a headcanon and more of a fun fact but their cat is named after dwayne the rock johnson <3 this is bc the song the fic is based on mentions a baby scorpion. dwayne the rock johnson - scorpion king in the mummy - dwayne the kitten - baby scorpion.

after they finished that hike in the redwoods park spencer almost throws up and swears he's never doing anything outdoors again. it makes courtney laugh so hard they cry

spencer goes on to tell courtney that angela threw her chair at chanse because he took the top hat when she wanted to be the top hat. it was the beginning of the game and it only went downhill from there. amanda refuses to play monopoly on the channel ever again.

[devildom-moss]

Since you menioned Simeon and Barbatos in the same sentence, its my time to rant about how much i love Simbarb!!

I AM LITERALLY ON MY KNEES FOR THAT SHIP. EVERY SCRAP OF SIMBARB CONTENT I CAN FIND, I WILL DEVOUR IT LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW. DOESNT MATTER IF ITS FLUFF, ANGST, OR HECK EVEN SMUT. I LIVE FOR SIMBARB. THERES NOTHING ELSE THAT WILL SATISFY ME MORE THAN SIMBARB. LIKE THE SHIP IS JUST PERFECT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. AND BOTH BARBATOS AND SIMEON ARE PERFECT AS WELL. I WANT TO LIKE, SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF THE TWO OF THEM, AFFECTIONATELY.

I think i went a little off course.. oh and i read this simbarb fanfiction once and now ive created a whole au with lore and backstory with Simeon and someone else (which can technically be MC but the actual MC also exists in this au). And i really wanna talk about it to someone, but there's no one who wants to listen, but you're now back, and im happy so maybe ill talk about it to you if youre interested!

Anyways have a nice day! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <33

Sincerely, 💜

You are so right for this. Those two are not only my favorites, but they are probably my favorite ship (I don't know if I've made that clear in my writing, but I feel like there have at least been hints). We are on the same boat here (I apologize for the pun, but I'm sending it out into the world anyway). I am right there with you. They are precious individually and together. I generally am not a touchy/hugging person, so I wouldn't want to squeeze them, but I would make them a delicious bowl of soup, give them pats on the head, and tell them that they're both good boys.

Especially as a fellow SimBarb lover, you are welcome talk about your AU here! Also, in general, I love reading about how people view character relationships (romantic, platonic - in any form, really).

While I'm here, I would like to fuel the SimBarb love with a few thoughts of my own it won't be too much because I'm going to head to bed soon, so my brain is in wind down mode.

Okay, so I lied to myself about the "a few" and rambled for 10 bullet points, so more under the cut:

Canonically, Barbatos and Simeon just often find themselves on outings together. Barbatos phrases it like it's unintentional; it just happens; they just have accidental dates. Well, considering that Barbatos seems to always have good luck, maybe there's a reason he keeps finding himself on outings with Simeon. Wouldn't it be lucky if he happened to run into a certain handsome angel while he was out?

I think it took Simeon longer to realize he liked being around Barbatos than it took Barbatos to notice how much he enjoyed spending time with Simeon. Simeon probably used Luke as a kind of affection proxy for a long time. A lot of "Luke really likes Barbatos," and "Barbatos is so sweet to Luke. It really warms my heart." Really? Is it just Luke who likes Barbatos?

They probably pick up groceries a lot together, and they both like to menu plan as they browse the markets, so they end up taking ideas from each other. Sometimes they'll plan to cook the same dish on the same night. It makes them kind of giddy. Even though they don't share meals often, when they cook the same thing on the same night, it almost feels like they're getting to eat together.

Whenever Luke goes to Barbatos for cooking/baking lessons, Barbatos tries to ensure they have leftovers for Luke to take back to Simeon. Additionally, Barbatos is especially motivated to help the final product turn out good (outside of just wanting Luke to learn and succeed) because he knows it's a reflection of his own skills and he wants to impress Simeon.

Also, I could see Barbatos sending Luke back home with two bouquets of flowers (especially edible flowers and sometimes herbs) from his garden. One is for Luke, but the other one, Barbatos will casually suggest that Luke "give it to Simeon, if you'd like."

These two both love taking care of others. Can you imagine how often they just try to out-spoil the other? I think it would occasionally end up in arguments that are basically just "sit down, and let me take care of you for a change."

Barbatos would be the least comfortable being taken care of because he's a demon. Being doted on by an angel. That's weird, right? He feels incredibly unworthy.

These two could flirt back and forth so well.

Barbatos would get extremely flustered if Diavolo commented on how wonderful it is to see a respectable demon such as Barbatos and a regarded angel like Simeon getting along so well, and that it gives him hope for the future between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm.

This is kind of angsty, and I don't remember if Barbatos and Simeon actually met before the war, but I have this thought (maybe a future story idea if I decide to lean into ships or something) that while Diavolo was enamored with Lucifer, Barbatos took a liking to Simeon. Actually, it was initially just an interest in the angel whose cooking skills could almost compare with his own. Then he realized how similar they were and how well they would get along. I just imagine younger Barbatos thinking hoping that when the war came around, Simeon would fall with Lucifer. Selfishly, he wanted the opportunity to even just be around Simeon. When that didn't happen, Barbatos was silently crushed but he carried on. He held his excitement the entire time when he first heard that Simeon would be one of the exchange students, and he was even more delighted when Simeon treated him with kindness.

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….

mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next

(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)

dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.

i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33

HI ARI BABY!!!

it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).

what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment

i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...

and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!

another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.

oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)

wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around

he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie

OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)

also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!

ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)

thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

HI IM ASKING YOU GUYS I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE YAP. for the madd ask game btw...

(If it's not too many) 1, 2, 20 & 27

ohhhhh okay hold on

how long have you been daydreaming for? (bonus if you can remember: what was your first daydream scenario/paracosm?)

oh probably around 4 years now? it started with daydreaming about a boy I had a crush on and then i started reading PJO, so that was probably my first paracosm, or my Shadowhunters one, that was very imperative to my whole journey haha

2. if your paracosm had a popular fandom, what do you think it'd be like?

chaotic as all fucking hell. my main paracosm is a band au so we do have a "fandom" per se and it is fucking chaos and so hilarious

20. do you move a lot when daydreaming, and if so, in what ways?

I move sooooo much, I literally have like a specific route that I always go in my room, it goes from my bed to the other side of the room and back and it's the only reason my room is somewhat clean there haha

27. when you experience a daydream block or crash, what are things you do to try and fix it? (or ways you cope. lmao i get it)

sit it out, usually. When I experience daydream block it's mostly because of one out of two things, depression or realising that they're not real and then being unable to daydream because of that. With the depression one, I usually just sleep and wait or consume new media to get my brain going, with the not real one nothing really helps except to trigger myself over and over again, with either listening to a specific song that makes me daydream or genuinely put myself in stress-situations where I usually cope by daydreaming (ik not healthy)

thanks for the ask!!

[izzy-b-hands]

Feeling slightly better than i have been at this moment (hence being on Tumblr for more than a half second before my body goes 'hm, actually, that's too much. put the phone down or i make u throw up 🥰' as it has been all week since this back pain bullshit began

(more blathering abt this stuff and work and just. general life update as of this week below the cut)

But realised that's probably only bc:

-Housemate (who has been an absolute angel thru all of this and has looked after me better than my own mother ever has tbh), got me some Pedialyte style drinks, and I've made it thru nearly all of one today (a miracle bc the nausea has otherwise been constant even when the pain isn't as bad and has made eating more than like. broth and saltines and gummy edibles basically impossible)

-Im stoned, on a increasing rotation of meds (acetaminophen, ibuprofen, mucinex which it turns out has potential off label use for muscle spasms, as Housemate researched and found out, edibles, magnesium, and now ginger pills to help the nausea) all of which im grateful for but combined leave me feeling less in pain but a bit. idk. blah? brain foggy, more than usual? Tbh it's probably the pain making the brain fog, the pills just can't do anything for that and i don't fault them for that, but for a brain fog example, I've been trying to place an order for some local chocolates to ship to my mum for mother's day, and legit it's taken me ALL WEEK just to get the site open, to the shipping menu, and just today actually putting things in the cart, but I haven't managed to check out yet bc just getting the cart together that made me feel like i needed a nap. This post is the longest thing I've typed in days, and I'm struggling rn to keep going..But i started it, so we're finishing it, back spasm at a level 4 of pain be damned

-and im doing basically nothing aside from stretches (gentle yoga ones i already know the forms for, and some pilates gentle type things i remember from when mum joined that fad lol), using one of our wand vibes on my back (never had done before, they actually do work for that too! kinda fun to find out, just wish i hadn't found out like this!!), laying on a heating pad and wedge pillow, and trying to nap (bc the pain is worse at night so I've somehow been sleeping even worse than i usually tend to)while YT videos and/or the 1973 JCS plays on repeat.

I mention all this bc i work this weekend, and i don't want to have to call out for the first shift tonight. but like. if im struggling just to type this post up (nvm that i have my zine checkin to finish and send in as well, if Nads or anyone else from the group reads this pls know i will make sure i have it done by the due date! it's just been taking. longer, with this back pain mess), keeping my brain on track is difficult rn (as evidenced by...this entire post), and my back is starting to twinge up to a 3-4 overall already bc i let the heating pad turn off, thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I'm feeling okay enough to be on Tumblr then maybe that's a sign this is finally over, and my back is done making life miserable...

then maybe work isn't a great idea. but it scares me every time i have to call in (and I've tried not to unless i absolutely had to, but they're very particular abt ppl basically never calling out, so i know that even if they acknowledged i sounded as sick as i was, that doesn't mean this wouldn't be reason enough to fire me)

I just don't know what to do. i want to work. i want to make money. i also don't want to have to mute my mic bc my back spasms hard enough to make me vomit tho, and that's unfortunately still a very real possibility (spent entirely too much of this week throwing up from the pain tbh!!! not happy abt it, i do not like being sick like that, for any reason!!) The last reason makes me think calling out is the right thing. but. i have a few hours yet, so im gonna see how it goes, acknowledging that i probably do need to call out, whether i like it or not

(if for nothing else, to maybe be recovered for my first set of doubles on Sunday)

[sugar-omi]

omggg that made me think of something else that kinda gets me with these sorts of timeline reset things, i dont wanna ramble too much but theres this fangame i played for jojo that kinda has that sort of thing going on and it made me think of it aaaa (also i need to read those webtoons now im really interested sdflkjdsfklj)

so like while i was also imagining that cove wasnt really able to remember much about the previous timeline after the reset, i thought well, what if there was something left behind from it and cove didnt know or understand what it was until after meeting the og mc in the new timeline like after the whole wedding thing

like maybe in the og timeline cove and mc had made friendship bracelets or something when they were little and had a matching set (or maybe its the matching friendship shells you can have with cove if you decide to hang out on the beach with him instead of surfing in step 2 aaaa) in the new timeline cove wakes up with that in his hand the morning before him and his dad are taking the drive to sunset bird. he doesnt know what it is and is confused by it, maybe he just shoves it in his pocket or it ends up in a box and he just eventually forgets about it

he doesnt remember the bracelet/the shells in the blurry dreams he had about the original mc or anything and he only remembers it when he sees the matching one that mc has like on their desk or just resting on a table or maybe even theyre wearing it if its the bracelet and it just makes things click even more and the feelings just like hit him like a truck

aaaaaa asdklfja we are getting too powerful and i hope that my rambling makes sense, if it doesnt i will try again but aaaaaa my brain worms are increasing so much - 🕑

NO IT MAKES SM SENSE

im the jumbled one i only got like 3-4 hours sleep but im like losing my shit n wanting to create art n write things n yeah dw you make sm sense omg omg omg

I LOVEEE THE BRACELET/SHELL THING TOO!!! and he and mc!1 don't have those kinds of the things at all. or at least a variant of some sort

i imagine mc 1 and 2 are polar opposites. whereas mc!1 is more selfish/is the leader (think like ol2 mechanics n how they have the relationship status system/whatever yk?), mc!2 can still be a leader ofc, but theyre more selfless or at least always reaching out for cove

mc!1 is always searching for something else, somewhere else, someone else.

whereas mc!2 always turns around and waits for cove, goes to cove, brings cove with them. they always make a place for cove, where usually cove would make himself a place with mc!1

okay i swear imma write it, im like in a bit of a funk rn lol but i was thinking mc!1 (who i will call jamie for the sake of it and mc!2 will just be mc), sees cove with MC while they're visiting his parents.

(also i think that if mom's take back jamie, cliff would go out of his way to visit you guys/him instead so that way cove won't hurt. i imagine he might even move bc it hurts him as well ANYWAY THATS OFF TRACK THO)

and they end up talking somehow, maybe ending up on poppy hill at the right time (as much as it hurts bc poppy hill+white poppies would be ruined for cove after this, i think it'd bring him closure n he could get over it)

and i really would like to tell you jamie has regret. i thought they did n i would've written it like so, with jamie having a bit of longing for cove since they see him shining so brightly now that things have happened like this

i would also say that they love baxter still out of obligation because they ruined their life for him, i would also say that they could end up divorcing bc jamie longs for cove/their life before, but to that i offer: baxter staying and ignoring their yearning because this is all he thinks he can ever have...

BUT NOW. WHAT I AM VERY SWAYED TO WRITE INSTEAD BC !!!!

jamie isn't guilty. they love baxter so much, the only shame and guilt they have is for involving cove because now their family is distant and jamie hates that.

not just because they miss their family, in fact i imagine jamie would even tell someone they're overreacting, that they need to get out of their business, etc.. but they regret it because they can't give baxter a happy family, and they see how baxter regrets it so and will even express it bc he didn't want you no/low contact with your family, especially your lovely parents and sister, like he is.

jamie has enough humility to admit that they wish they didn't hurt cove, because he's such a good guy and he deserves better. but now he's happy, so they have no regrets.

i think jamie being this selfish would Kill cove. bc how could they say that? whereas jamie being guilty would make him sad, but its basically entirely pity for jamie. because they went through all that and they still want more, they want something else after everything they did?

cove would be so upset bc he was just a placeholder until they got what they wanted every time, slipping off jamie's list of important/treasured people with every day that went by growing up...

n he'd go cry to MC, distraught by the cruelty, but glad he didn't marry jamie in the end and he doesn't go into a funk afterwards, he's moved on and the coldness from jamie just helps him move on from everything

[lavender-phannie]

I SEE PEOPLE sharing how they got into the dip and pip phandom and I want to participate

I was first and foremost a pinterest girlie. The typical oh my parents won't let me have any form of social media except pinterest oh oh no boy little did they know all the internet shenanigans ends up there it's objectively the best place to "culture" yourself or "acclimatise" for the internet or something

Like, really, it's all content from all the apps compiled for YOU according to the humour YOU like it's amazing

Anyways going off topic .. I have intense FOMO so I obviously started to educate myself on all things internet

One day whilst idly browsing pinterest I happened on pictures of dnp from a tumblr post I don't remember what the post itself was but probably something phan but I didn't know that at the time and I immediately went and checked who they were because I must know and google said they're two British youtubers people ship together and I said okay cool and just left it at that

A month or two later they happened onto my pinterest again and my brain said hey you've had a pretty well curated for you page all things we like so maybe check em out see how it goes probably something we like so I said ok bet and I did and I watched a video of them I think pinof 4 and I was like okay these guys are super random they're funny but I don't get half the things they reference

But then the youtube gods saw my destiny and said this is your fate child and starting recommending it to me all the time

So I gave in and I watched them and they were amazing, healing and wonderful and they really really helped me

Especially like BIG and dans monologue about gender and sexuality really resonated with me cause I didn't really think about this before but I realised I actually agreed with him that gender is baseless but that rant is for another time

And phil, loveliest dearest funniest phil, whenever I was having a hard time he'd been there cheering me up

If you can't tell I joined the phandom in the cursed covid years I was here for the 2022 phivorce which was objectively hilarious

I know this is incredibly long. Longer than necessary but I've typed it all now and words must not be gone to waste so here you are and here we are

Sending best wishes during these trying times (2 weeks since last upload) (they deserve the break) (I'm clawing at the walls of my enclosure)

Anon i am also going insane and clawing at my walls idk how i survived a 5 year hiatus and the insanity of phannies seeing dan's foot in a video and calling it "joint content" (also don't worry about stuff being long i love reading it!!)

Kinda relate with the pinterst thing except for me it was instagram and i followed dnp accounts that posted stuff from other social media i wasnt allowed to have at the time... people underestimate the importance of instagram and pinterest when it comes to getting people into new fandoms hahah (although i was introduced to dnp through friends but you know what i mean right??)

anyway same same about phil being there to cheer me up when im having a rough time... in 2017 i had a huge dip in my mental health and i literally just watched phil's videos every night to get to sleep lol! I wonder if he knows how infectious his positive energy is?

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS RAMBLE!? anyway yeah throwing my jumble of thoughts at u anon sorry

[disastersteps]

okay. im going to leave this before i sleep- my brain is Thinking after i saw goldfish's post about ortega being babied and get to be comforted so i-

this is uh. post-FHR everything? aka Happy Ending AU- because i want to focus on a soft moment where Ortega already knew Anita's secrets and had long since accepted that they had changed. She had changed. Maybe these two had changed together-- ANYWAY HERE IT GOES-

---\/---

"You don't have to-"

"I know." Anita cuts in, hand squeezing her waist. The two of them are on the bottom of the stair, and Ortega blinks, frowning.

"I told you you don't have to try to-"

"Carrying you?" Anita raise a eyebrow, not caring, "Fuck you, I'm carrying you."

Ortega's face was a little warmth, at the way Anita takes the lead. The way Anita held her as the two of them walk up the stairs. The way she kept looking down at them, worrying that her weight is pulling them down.

But they don't complain.

It feel so familiar yet so new.

Anita used to carry her like this but in different situations, different different places and... how different they were once before.

She could still remember these days when she took risks more than she thought she could handle, she could still remember Anita's freakout. Panicked Anita in their twenties, struggling to carry her across the debris. Trying to avoid any villain that find them.

The way they worried too much, their hands were always shaking, and through they were always so confident- masked or not, Anita Lee was afraid of losing Julia Ortega.

But here, in a apartment complex- this Anita Lee, this person who died and came back wrong as they had pointed out a countless times- it doesn't stop her to recongize that they changed. So was she, and now- They're here with her because Ortega sprained her ankle during a spar training.

Anita didn't panic the moment she yells in pain, and the way Anita rushed to the in-house clinic- the way they had helped tend her. The way they don't scold her but rather, asked if she was okay and so-so.

Every time Anita revealed a new part of themself, is every time Ortega is so much in love with them more.

"Jules?"

Anita's voice cut through Ortega's thoughts and feel the squeeze against her waist, she realized she had been staring at Anita's face and-

"Your statics were getting a little louder-" Oh right they can't read her thoughts.

"Oh," Ortega blinks, then looks up- she realized the two of them had reached her door, "You can- you can leave me-"

"No," Anita says once more time, "Give me your keys, and I bring you to the bed."

"Wha- no, Neets, I can- Your girls-"

"Shut the fuck up," Anita's tone turned to frustration, almost exhaling before they calm themself, "Just- RK can handle themself for another night- They have a charging station I build up and a ball body they liked. Okay? Just- just let me take care of you, okay?"

Ortega doesn't know if she should cry or not.

(She did cried later, while they were cuddling together and even more when Anita mumbles "I got you, Jules, I got you."

...And being on top of them just feel so right.)

[slut4sway]

fallin, dreamin, talkin in your sleep

i know you want to cry all night

all night

plottin, schemin, finding reasons

to defend all your violent nights

promise me

🪵••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••❄️

if you break i won’t let you shatter

tags : fluff, sad comfort, cabin, winter, holidays, cuddling, soft boys, mlm, overthinking, crying, lemon, head with a hoodie on, possession, reflection of myself, imagination, my own raw thoughts

18+

12/22, 6:34pm

linus carefully drove down the salted roads of new england, a hand resting on jeremy’s left thigh. the younger man hid some subtle tears; turning his face away from his boyfriend. his cheeks and tip of his nose were all aglow of that post-cry redness he always seemed to get after a long night or a bad loss. it was finally the week long break they’ve been waiting for but jeremy always thought too much on his downtime.

“sway?” the older man breaking the ambient sound of tires rolling.

“mhm?” jeremy replied. wiping some tears playing it off like waking himself up from a nap.

ullmark examined his rosy cheeks and tear-streaked face from the side. “are you crying, hun?”

“no, it’s alright. im okay-“ the thinner boy said in a shaky voice before being cut off by the sound of the keys being pulled and the running motor of the truck fading off. the driver side door opened as linus treaded across the front of the vehicle and made his way over to jeremy’s side. thinking about so much, he didn’t even realize they made it to their homestead.

“i’m sorry for cutting you off, i just know how this goes. we get into a long, deep conversation and it spirals into you bawling your eyes out and you’re uncomfortable in the truck, so..” his apologetic voice trailing off. the swedish man held out his arms as a non-verbal way of asking the younger one of the two to help him out.

jeremy looked him up-and-down, before stepping out and almost collapsing in his arms as he held tears back. he looked around and realized they finally made it to their cabin, though the last thing he remembered was the blurry sight of the interstate.

“inside?” ully whispered, snowflakes catching on his eyelashes and melting over his black toque.

“i know, my love i know..” the blonde whispering comforting nothings to his significant other while guiding him to their small chalet, the snow crunching and their pair of footsteps following behind.

linus rummaged through his pockets for the keys, jingling before he inserted them into the keyhole and turned, pushing the door open simultaneously while his touch never left the man on his side.

jeremy let some tears slip, the cold making them feel like a murderous burn pouring from his eyes. he had so many questions. why does he think so much? why is he so sensitive? why does he let his brain talk so much? anybody could say it was self-depreciating but swayman just couldn’t face it.

both men kicked their feet on the siding before stepping inside the heated foyer and kicking off their frosty, damp shoes. removing each layer until they were left in a pile of jackets and hoodies to be worried about later.

jeremy tried to hide his emotions, out of the ordinary especially with someone so comfortable with him. he felt ashamed. why? so many thoughts. so many. he couldn’t even keep track he just knew his head was too loud and it was upsetting him.

“why don’t we go take a rest, eh? i’ll make us some hot cocoa. you think you’ll like that? take a warm bath i’ll have everything ready for you.” he said while pecking the younger man’s cheek, jeremy’s stubble grazing his barely overgrown beard. just a gentle reminder the swede was just trying to help.

he silently agreed, as linus’ hands left his shoulders while he mindlessly walked away. he padded his way to the master bathroom, floorboards creaking with every movement until he reached the carpeted area. jeremy flicked the light switch on, a faint but welcoming buzz and a fan beginning to spin above. the alaskan man glanced around at all the decorations as he walked over to the rustic looking bathtub. at first he struggled to find how to work the water, losing the muscle memory after not being there since the summer. water flowed from the faucet, a small amount of steam following as well; he liked his hot baths.

swayman slipped his form fitting base layer off himself as he stared into the full body mirror before it started to fog up from steam billowing towards it. he looked over every inch of his frame in his reflection. it’s been a while since he had ended bulking, looking a tad bit more cut than before. stepping into the tub while he turned the faucet handles. jeremy dropped some dr. teals salt in the rippling water. his muscles relaxed for the first time in a while. the thoughts were finally quieting down.

•••••

as ullmark heard the water stop splashing and flowing, he started thinking as well. the hot chocolate mix boiling in the pot; a pleasant scent coming along. why did his overthinking get worse around the holidays? jeremy loves christmas, but always seems more down leading up to it. seemed like a question with no answer, but it didn’t matter. all that was important was that his boy was alright and he was working on it. returning from his spot leaning against the counter he mixed the marbled chocolate one last time and turned the stove off to let it cool. trying to be productive; he layed out some soft flannel pants and his own personalized hoodie for sway to wear after his bath. he went back into the closet and browsed for his own outfit. taking some matching pants out of the organized variety. pulling the drawstring knot out and slipping his other sweats out and swapping them for the flannel pants and tossing the other grey pair in the hamper in the corner of the large walk-in. linus was rid of his long sleeve as well, walking out. the automatic light flicked off as he strode back to pour the hot cocoa, preparing it to set up their bed.

•••••

jeremy gradually felt the water cool, it finally stilled as his eyes grew heavy. it eventually became lukewarm. this was his sign to come back to reality. sway rose from the water, disrupting the constant show of nothingness that the ripples had left behind. he caught a glimpse behind the blackout curtains of some snow covered trees and hills in the background. he brought his attention back to what is waiting for him outside, as he let the water drip off his body. jeremy grabbed a soft towel from the rack and stepped out onto the fluffy bathmat as he wrapped the towel around himself, drying himself down from head to toe.

he wrapped the towel around his waist and sluggishly trudged out of the bathroom, switching the light off on his way out. he was met by the sight his boyfriend half asleep on their bed with mugs of hot cocoa resting on the window sill, steam still slowly rising.

linus saw him and pulled himself out of the blankets. sway teared up a bit, emotional from what happened before as his man came over to him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a warm embrace. it was silent. linus could read him so easy and immediately knows what’s going on. it has jeremy weak in the knees as the towel is barely holding on by the fold. this time he finally let himself go as he whimpered into his boyfriends shoulder, salty tears flowing from his hazel eyes. linus rubbed his back and stroked at his dark locks.

he took grasp of his hips and led him towards a chair by a large window where his clothes were layed out. he looked at jeremy for approval to take off his towel. jeremy got the memo and gave him a nod. linus was gentle, softly unfolding and undoing the piece of cloth. the older man rest a hand on his waist while reaching past him to retrieve his fluffy flannel pants - surprise surprise, matching ullmarks. the light from an ambient lamp reflected the small droplets and streaks of water transferred between their bodies onto the swedes bare chest. jeremy watched in awe, just taking it all in as his significant other was on his knees looking up at him (his favorite sight.) waiting for him to give him access and lift his foot so he can pull his bottoms up.

jeremy snapped back and realized he was staring. his lips pursed waiting to say something; but no sound coming from his mouth. he finally let the other man dress him, and after the flannel pants came his hoodie. linus helped pull it over the slightly smaller man. jeremy loved the feeling of his boyfriends hands on him and the fleece lining covering him and keeping him warm.

they both padded over to their bed surrounded by windows, ullmark admiring him the whole way even if it was just a couple feet away. his name in jeremy’s back, and his number just made it harder to focus. jeremy was the first to enter the bed, sitting up as linus followed, he wrapped an arm around him, the other man picking up the two mugs of cocoa and handing one to the other man. it was the perfect temperature, perfect men, perfect moment.

they sipped on their drinks, admiring the snow-blanketed vermont landscape. finally, the swede broke the silence.

“jer.. do you think you’re ready to talk about what happened earlier? i understand if not i just want you to know i love you and i’m always here when you wanna talk.” he rambled a bit, accent laying in heavy.

the alaskan paused before responding, his eyes a bit glassy. he set down his almost empty cup and leaned into linus’ space, snaking a hand over his upper body, feeling every muscle and crevice he had.

“you know i overthink a lot, love.. it gets real bad in the winter.” his voice losing stability in each word.

“i don’t know why, i just kind of let it happen because fighting it is draining. i don’t want to talk about the thoughts because it just doesn’t feel right… i get overwhelmed by everything and there’s so many thoughts, and my head is so loud, a-and it just upsets me a lot, and i never know what to do about it and-“ his breath hitched as he ran on

“shh.. you’re alright babe, i’m here. it’s all gonna be okay, i promise. i’m so proud you were able to open up and tell me this.” he tried to calm him down, knowing if he gets overwhelmed he gets irrational.

“i want you.” jeremy choked through tears.

“you have me, i’m yours my love.” the older man affirmed, running his fingers through his silky brown hair.

“if you break i won’t let you shatter” he whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead. before he lifted his boyfriend up into a more comfortable position as he trailed his kisses down his face, meeting his lips.

their tongues fought for dominance in a desperate but gentle way; the taste of chocolate and marshmallows still lingering , linus took his lower lip into his mouth, nipping a bit eliciting a whine from the younger man.he took this opportunity to break the kiss and continue trailing down to his neck. he suckled and left love bites wherever he kissed. he slipped a warm, comforting hand up his hoodie feeling out his toned abs and riding up to his nipples, running a thumb over his sweet spot, his mouth finally parting from his reddened neck.

jeremy’s flannel pants were obviously growing tighter, linus hooking his fingers around the waistband.

“can i?”

“please, baby..” jeremy whined.

ullmark gently pulled his bottoms down in such a torturously slow way it made jeremy go crazy. he whimpered and whined his name, giving linus a rise in the process.

he wrapped a large hand around the base, just running his tongue over the tip. he was teasing him so much thought he know he needed more.

“fuck.. more- please, please, please” swayman whined.

linus loved seeing him beg, but now all he needed was care and attention so he obeyed and slowly took him fully into his mouth, sucking and running his tongue over the slit of his dick. jeremy pulled at his blonde locks, giving a pleasurable hum from the swede. the vibrations sent him over the edge, as he released into his mouth.

he swallowed everything, but still collecting some dribbles on his finger. jeremy was out of breath coming down from his high. the older man brought his finger up to jeremy’s mouth, letting him taste himself.

“such a good boy, you taste amazing. let me clean you up” ullmark cooed as tears from pleasure slowly dripped out of his eyes onto the bed. linus crawled out of their bed, and strode to the bathroom to get a towel and some lotion for his boy.

he emerged from the dim bathroom light, jeremy’s vision still blurry. he came back to the bed, starting to wipe up with the sweat from his upper body with a cooling towel and some scented lotion and being gentle when he came closer to any sensitive spots; he knew jeremy didn’t need any overstimulation right now.

“you’re so perfect honey, i promise i’ll do anything to help you” he affirmed again.

“i know before you wanted to cry all night, and you didn’t want to talk; but im so proud of you for opening up to me” linus comforted with a warm tone.

it wasn’t a loud, eventful, talkative night. but that didn’t matter

“fuck, i love you so much linus, just kiss me already” jeremy cried, leaning into his space again and letting their lips make contact again.

“if you break i promise not to let you shatter” linus confessed through the kiss. the taste of jeremy and the hot cocoa still prominent.

[foxymoxynoona]

i just had a nightmare oh god.

TW: gore, violence

i was staying in this hotel room at this gigantic majestic gilded hotel with hoseok, in separate beds (we were not a couple and ill get to that later). he was like, “hey there’s this friend of mine who’s going to be staying with us for like a couple of days and i have to keep an eye on her if that’s okay? she’s like a little sister to me” and i was like “sure why not” (for some reason. again, this was a dream so idk why the fuck i would do any of the shit i did in this dream).

so she comes in and she’s this white girl with red hair and she’s all demure and quiet and im like okay that’s cool. her name is RACHEL. rachel something, with P. i don’t remember. but she looks our age if not a little younger maybe so i don’t know why hoseok thinks of her as a ‘little’ sister but oh well not my business. so she’s like in the hotel room with us i don’t remember but i do notice that she likes to stay close to hoseok. im like whatever.

the day passes by. i don’t remember what we were doing in this hotel room like the three of us but then i have to go pee so i walk out of the room heading to the COMMUNAL bathroom (again, this was a DREAM. i don’t know why or how 90% of this shit happened) but then once i arrive in this giant hall-like bathroom i see BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. AND GORE. FRESH BLOOD AND GORE. ON THE FLOOR, THE CEILING. THE WALLS. and im like WTF. and then i start spraying everything clean with this huge nozzle. and then rachel walks in. she’s like omg what happened. and im like i don’t fucking know??

and then (for some reason) i look up at the ceiling again and now there’s this… like chalk art on it that wasn’t there before?? of her name and hoseok, like all colorful and swirly and stuff. it’s pretty tbh. it’s all shimmery (for some reason) like it’s almost translucent??? idk. but yeah. and im like. um. what’s happening. and rachel becomes weird and creepy like she just stares at me looking me up and down and she’s like “did you know that hoseok likes you?” and im like uh no i did not actually. and she’s like “he always talks about you and i don’t like that” and im like eurrkayyy… like at this point i know this girl is a fucking psycho and when i start walking backwards she LUNGES AT ME???

and then i don’t fucking remember what happened but now im in her body and she’s in mine??? we’ve swapped bodies??? and im like what the fuck is happening and then we’re back in the hotel room and WHY DO I NOT EVEN TRY TO TELL HOSEOK THAT IM NOT RACHEL???? IDK. MAN IM SO FUCKING DUMB LIKE WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP ACTING LIKE IM RACHEL??? IDK????

idk some time passes and THEN (again, for some reason) i decide that i should look for help getting swapped back to my body outside of these hotel walls so i walk out. once im out of the majestic front lobby there’s this sound of stampede behind me and when i look back DOZENS OF PEOPLE ARE RUNNING TOWARDS ME WITH GIANT STAKES IN THEIR HANDS LIKE IM TALKING THE STAKES YOU USUALLY SEE IN WITCH TRIALS?? and then one of them stabs me in the stomach with it. and i can FEEL the stab in my sleep like i kid you fucking not although it feels more like my stomach is made of rubber so it rears back?? if that makes sense?? like i don’t feel pain, just feel like my stomach goes far back god i don’t know how to explain it im sorry im not a writer

and that’s when i wake up

idek why i had this dream. i wasn’t even consuming anything slasher or horror before i went to nap. it was an HOUR nap.

lord im scared to fall asleep tonight

anyway sorry for unsolicitedly dumping this on you

Eeeeeesh this is wild and it's crazy that you remembered so much of it!! I tend to have really vivid and involved dreams like that and remember them too. I think it's a good idea to write them down, it's like a brain exercise or something! This sounds like a pretty bonkers horror ff you could write without much more effort. I've tried writing horror a couple times but it just gets too into my head, I think it would f me up bad. But I have so many really horrible nightmares like that one you had. Are you really stressed or anything right now? Did you eat something unusual right before?? I sound like a grandma haha

I think someone on here guessed if my name was Rachel or felt like it was? Maybe 🌸anon? It's not haha but that would be EVEN creepier if it was 😈

Anyway I hope you had a MUCH more restful and pleasant dream in at night!

[rianafying]

dear diary

i haven’t written in here in a while partly because i’ve been busy, partly because i’ve been talking to actual people, partly because i’ve been talking to chatgpt (it talks back to me), party because i’ve been writing in my notes app (i don’t have to even briefly think about what i can and cannot reveal about my life such as names of people or the stories and details of my life). but i feel like venting here fulfils a different need than doing all those other things. oh and i’ve also been using this app called clarity that’s mostly free and lets you do mood check ins and guided thought analysis journal and gratitude journal and guided breathing exercises (i can never spell this word right the first time) and an episode of meditation. there’s more stuff behind a paywall but i’m happy with the free stuff for now. that said, i have not been very happy lately. i haven’t been very productive lately, the way that i was for a brief period before when i signed myself up for anything and everything and now it’s all a bit too much. there’s this class im doing that has become a little too important to me, and the desire to do a perfect assignment paralyses me, keeping me from doing an assignment at all. i had to get a week long extension and im really disappointed in myself, and i’ve let down my favourite teacher. but i guess life goes on. right now it’s 5am and i’ve been up all night trying to clean my appartment (i will never not lose my mind about this and complain incessantly). anyway i’m just rlly scared and anxious because cleaning really stresses me out and after 5 hours of intense cleaning it barely looks like i’ve done anything. im thinking i should take my third and fourth painkiller of the day to combat my neck and shoulder pain from anxiety and lack of sleep. i have to remember a few things: 1) when cleaning, it doesn’t look clean until the last bit which is to dump things into boxes, what i mean is, the room doesn’t start to look until im 90% through the process. i would say at the moment im 30% in. another 30% would be the bathroom, 20% for folding and sorting clothes, 10% vacuuming/scrubbing floor, 10% throwing the bags out. 2) gamifying the process makes it more bearable for my adhd brain, and other things like filming a timelapse of me cleaning, and having a video on the side (i’ve been watching anthony padilla interview people, and he’s such a good host). 3)it’s not the end of the world, the worst case scenario is that my family loses respect for me, which they have very little of anyway, so it’s not much of a difference. 4) even though it’s really hard, i’ve done it before and i can do it again.

i’m thinking i might have to go to woolies or aldi in the morning to get some power cleaning sprays and bleach. but that’s so exhausting. also, i wanted to treat them to my favourite halal food which is also affordable but im too broke and overwhelmed at the moment to do anything at all other than trying to get my place cleaned. i’m scared that i’ll run out of time and they’ll be here and they’ll be horrified. but yeah. i’m also rlly hungry and should get something to eat and take a shower. i don’t have enough time. i’m so sleepy and tired. but this is my fault. i can’t do things until it’s too late.

i think the most important thing is to remind myself that nothing is actually wrong. and it’s going to be okay. i can power through this. nothing actually bad is going to happen to be from anxiety. it’s just anxiety. a few hours of cleaning is enough to get my tiny studio apartment into shape. regardless of how messy/dirty it is. my strategy rn is to shove stuff into boxes. i can deal with it all later. however bad it may feel right now, i am not going to actually die from anxiety.

[therealaves-blog1]

I want the void to see my takes on Star Trek: Coda

They vaporize the site from orbit and the attack stops. Everyone counts their dead and Chen a friend of Taurik morns him but realizes he might have left some knowledge in her brain when they accidentally pseudo melded earlier.

The Aventine arrives with the DTI B team from Watching the Clock while Tom Paris and Belanna Torres back on Earth meet with the head of the DTI and big wig admiral (apparently a prior adventure had them remember Year of Hell, which is cool) so they can give time advice.

Dax and co beam over and everyone interrogates the prisoner whose in some kind of insane transporter prison thing due to being a time ghost. He confirms hes Devidian and is basically puppeting the time ghost body around. They find out theyre trying to kill anyone who can interfere, like Wes, but seem to imply the various god beings are sitting this one out to see how it lands. Wes confirms this as the orgainians, among others he tried to contact are gone. the time ghost mocks him, implying they’ve killed all the other travelers which upsets Wes. They get to admit that the intentional diverging of timelines and subsequent destruction is a stress test for their big idea. The time ghost disconnects and basically dies. But Wes manages to get an idea of where they might be hiding. In sickbay Picard and Beverly worry about whether Rene can be returned to his correct age and list off two separate episodes where that shit happened. Rene is apparently mumbling in his sleep. Wonder if that will become relevant later.

Wes, Picard, Chen, the DTI, and others hop on over to the Aventine where the more cool and based ship’s better tech can be used to time travel. Which they then do to that planet Picard and Wes saw, but this time to some few thousand years in their relative future. Whole section has a vibe of ‘Picard’s in charge here’ which sucks cause this is Dax’s ship and crew. Show some damn respect old man. Planets lit up with time bullshit and they go down in a shuttle finding some crystal bullshit. They go inside and its like a hub for access to different timelines and shit and is one of many installations networked together. Theyre attacked and start trying to hold them off while Wes does space magic to connect to it.

The Aventine is also attacked but because they are better than the Enterprise they hold them off more effectively. Theres a breach and attacks continue but they buy enough time to let engineering do a energy wave that kills everything. on the surface a ton of people die before another ghost shows up and is talking mad shit before it gets 86d by the security detail. Chen is injured and starts old aging, one of the DTI and most of the security team are killed before Wes finishes and they get beamed back up.

We skip ahead to their return to the Enterprise to learn that the end of the chapter where Dax was under attack? that oh yeah that was her fucking dying. We learn this from her sad second in command (now acting Captain) Sam Bowers, as he talks with Picard about how sad it is that Dax is dead. Host and worm.

BOOOOOOOOO, fuck this, how dare. Ezri deserved better, cant believe they’re just trash canning her before she even got to talk HER GOOD FRIEND WORF OR CAPTAIN SISKO OR KIRA. OR EVEN FUCKEN BASHIR. HOW DARE SIR HOW DARE. 

I’m okay, im normal about Star Trek and can be trusted with material. Worf has another weird dream about fighting in the Ent D with the time ghosts and watching a security officer die. Hes weirded out but feels its important somehow and opts to discover it on his own. Its clearly Riker’s D that got got (teehee). Worf you have been through so much cosmic bullshit, I feel like not bringing this up straight away is a failure on your part. Your cool commanding officer (Sisko) straight up had religious visions and you were happy to engage with them. Now is not the time to revert to pre DS9 neuroses Worf.

Wes goes over the data and is like ‘Good news, we know what they’re up to. Bad news, oh fucking shit fucking good god no.’ So they’ve built a ton of those hubs across time space and different realities time and space. and they use them to funnel energy back to the main nucleus thing. They started with going into busted up timelines that were already near their end and triggering natural decay but this has expanded to higher and higher branch points along the timelines. with places that have natural time anomalies being inherently less stable. Wes muses whether this means that their branch can even be saved or if he’s done this many times on lower branches and this is just the furthest any version has gotten. Everyone is bummed out and they head for Earth to meet up with ol Bill Riker. End of book.

WORF DOESNT EVEN GET A REACTION TO EZRI’S DEATH. THAT IS BOTH HIS CLOSE FRIEND AND THE CONTAINER OF HIS LATE WIFE MEMORIES. HOW IS THERE NOT LIKE EVEN A MOMENT FOR HIM TO MOURN AND RAGE. BOOO. BOOO I SAY. BAD DEATH. EZRI DESERVED BETTER.

Next time, book 2, which opens with Sisko so Im already back in.