#im trying to let myself be okay with wanting more than just bare minimum

[supercantaloupe]

i keep pingponging between dreading that i won't be able to move/afford rent somewhere else/get accepted in a new rental application and beating myself up over even trying to leave cause it's such an overreaction and actually it's Fine living with roommates even if they do hate me Sometimes but we seem to be okay Now and it probably was my fault anyway and if i leave they'll definitely hate me for betraying them. or something lol

[lunarmoves]

Can't stop thinking of the scenario where y/n leaves the Pizzaplex feeling like Sun honestly wanted them gone, and Sun becomes obsessed with finding them and also leads a robot apocalypse. What would happen if y/n caught wind that Sun is looking specifically for them and seeing all that has happened with the robots takes that as "Oh no, I thought he tolerated me but turns out he dislikes me so much he personally wants to get rid of me himself" so they try extra hard to go into hiding out of fear of what will happen if they're captured and taken to him?

ohhh my goddd nonnie u are so big brained!!!!!!! thank u for sending this in bc honestly i have also been thinking about this au for a while LMAO. if i was strong enough i would write a 50k fic spliced into two arcs (im thinking about it so hard u have no idea!!!!!!) for this but alas.... /stares at my incomplete wips/ i am not </3

(added in from future shay: what have u done nonnie this became so much longer than i'd intended, u basically get the whole fic outline here. cw for death and murder n stuff, typical fnaf. also spoilers for a fic i may or may not write?? like. this is me brainstorming and shoving all my ideas here lol. literally all of them)

okay so... let us set the stage a little bc i can't help myself. arc1 of this hypothetical fic would of course involve the pizzaplex where reader and sun get "closer" over the course of like a year. maybe more. well sun feels close to you. you, on the other hand, do not. why would you? this robot has been so passive aggressive with you and though it seems like he's nice enough to you (in comparison to the other humans), you really don't like how he treats you some days. what he says about humanity as a whole. you can't help it! yeah humanity sucks sometimes and robots were built to be everything that humans aren't, but he can't generalize in the way that he does at times and forget that these are people!! with feelings and ambitions and dreams! 'superiority complex' doesn't even begin to cover his issues, gahh!!

(the fact that he's been treated like absolute shit, working in the daycare does not help whatsoever. the mean parents, the kids who don't listen to him, the staff tht does the bare minimum on him in terms of maintenance because he's the daycare robot and not one of the glamrocks. it grinds his gears)

i imagine the reader in this fic believes that robots are indeed sentient, which is why you try to get sun to recognize and acknowledge his own emotions/feelings (which he vehemently denies, even tho there are literal riots happening worldwide regarding robot sentience. he's lying to you. you know he's lying to you. but you don't know why he denies it so much. ((maybe this is the point where he catches feels for reader and is denying the fact tht he's crushing on a human lol)). the government is not happy about these uprisings, of course, and every day the news shows more and more chaos unfolding as robots get tired of the conditions they are in). but eventually, things boil over and you end up leaving. that, and it's becoming more dangerous, living in this area, with everything going on. maybe your parents are trying to convince you to move elsewhere. maybe there are other external circumstances. in any case, you leave. there is nothing at the pizzaplex for you anymore, sun has made that clear.

(and moon... well, moon has been quiet lately. too quiet. you don't know what happened to him, he won't even look at you when you manage to get some time with him when the lights go out after your shift)

((i imagine this is maybe around when they get infected. that makes everything even more complicated. if you thought sun was obsessive before, then that's nothing compared to a glitched out sun unforch. it just amplifies the more questionable aspects of his entire personality. and like, he doesn't even have vanny/afton commanding him bc as soon as he gets the virus? he kills both of them))

(((also im imagining moon and sun don't really get along in this au bc they have differing ideals/views. like to balance out sun's unhingedness, moon is significantly quieter and softer and deffo does not believe in robot superiority lol. if anything, maybe he has an inferiority complex pfft poor guy. doesn't help when he gets glitchtrap'd and wakes up with blood on his hands)))

okay so you leave, right? and a few weeks later, you see the news on your phone--the pizzaplex has burned down. you don't know how to feel about it. sure you've been friendly to the glamrocks and stuff, but you find yourself thinking about sun and moon. there's a mention of one death--a blond woman, who died from her neck snapping before the flames could reach her. you don't want to think of the implications of that. there's no mention of the glamrocks--of sun or moon or the dj. you're not sure if the news anchors are just excluding robots, but either way, it makes your heart sink. you take a moment to mourn. bc at the end of the day.... you did know sun for over a year.

not even a few days after that, there is a robot uprising in your city. it's... bad. you're at home, watching the news with your apartment half in shambles from your plan on moving back home with your parents. in my head, since utah is home to fazco (a megacorporation with hands in the development of a LOT of the robots seen in society), it also means it's a hotspot for robot riots and the like. fazco vehemently denies robot sentience because it would mean a loss of money in acknowledging their workers are people yk how it is. as such, there are maany protests and riots and stuff, from both humans and robots. it's a shitshow.

ANYWAYS you're at home and it becomes evidently clear that you need to get out of dodge as soon as you can. they were killing people. the robots, built by human hands, were killing. it brings about absolute chaos. in prior riots/protests there were never deaths. injuries, maybe, but never deaths. people start evacuating like crazy.

you catch a glimpse on the news that the violent uprising in utah caused a chainlink reaction to extend all across the nation. maybe even the world. you're scrambling all over your apartment with the tv on the news, doing your best to pack up the essentials. there's live coverage on the tv from a helicopter somewhere not far from your apartment complex. and you're able to catch a glimpse of bright rays and a cheshire, white smile on the screen--leading what looks like an army of robots--before it cuts out.

you don't even know what to think. the image is seared into your eyes, the blood that painted yellow hands and a crescent face.

you get the hell out of your apartment and book it as far as you can. communications are down everywhere--the thing about robots? they know exactly where to hit humans to cause a catastrophe. as such, your phone is useless. they've hijacked the satellites and took down certain powergrids. having a phone on you would only be a detriment, so you ditch it. there's only you now. you must survive.

and then there's a bit of a time skip to start arc2. in this duration, you're long gone from that city in utah, living with a small survival group. if you've read my summer camp au fic, this is where i'll bring in "OCs" such as vincent (a play on 2015 vincent) and jeremy (fitzgerald or the VR guy tht used to work for fazco), maybe michael if i really wanna au fudge everything. you all live day by day, trying to run away from the robots.

at this point, a majority of humanity has either been killed or has gone into hiding. i think while the robots don't want to eradicate humanity completely (after all, there are certain tasks that need humans n such), they definitely want to make them a minority. they are a little more than halfway through their goal.

it's very difficult to evade robot surveillance. there are drones everywhere. all cameras are hijacked. i'm imagining a kind of cyberpunk type world. you have EMPs and tasers that you can use to disable electronics, but they're made from scraps you and your group scavenged. and upon immediately using one, all robots in the area are informed of your presence, so they can only be used in rare and desperate circumstances. they are all connected to the same network, which means they can have a hive mind, at times. life is scary, in this regard. big brother is watching.

you've heard rumors of a human base underground somewhere--a place safe from robots with the proper defenses. accepting to any and all. the only tough thing was finding the damn place, but you've seen the clues in graffiti and hidden messages designed to trick AI (think: captcha). you and your group just wants to get to that damn base and stop living in fear all the time, being out in the open or crawling as stealthily as you can through empty streets.

the one thing sun used to emphasize to you? the way robots are more efficient. and that they are. you see it in the way a new metropolis shines like a beacon on the horizon. they've already built their own kingdom of sorts. and their ruler? you grimace as you think about sharp rays and wide, white eyes. you haven't seen him in ages--not since that initial broadcast. but you hear the whispered rumors and news. how he has created a robot haven--the celestial city. how he scorns humans. you blame yourself sometimes. maybe if you had stayed and tried harder to convince sun that humans aren't all too bad, none of this would have happened.

(a memory comes to you--of your time back at the pizzaplex. of you sitting atop the security desk and kicking your feet lightly as you entertain sun's... uniqueness. ambitions--that you did not take as seriously as you should have.

"okay, i'll bite," you said in amusement. "what would a robot takeover look like for you?"

sun cocked his head, hands fidgeting with a plush. "hmm. well. i suppose it would be a very quick thing, for one. hit hard and fast." he squeezed the plush. "take down comms. strike power sources. go for those in power first, then the weaker ones." he gave you a shrug and an unreadable smile. "from then on, carnage."

and you--silly silly you--just rolled your damn eyes at him like he was joking around with you and asked him about more hypotheticals. picking his brain, in a way. it was exact with how it played out in real time. you thought about this often, at the dead of night.

it was all your fucking fault)

and then, one day, the scout/informant of your little group--jeremy probably--comes back with some news. the celestial ruler--sun--has been taking human hostages. it's been happening for a while now, apparently, almost nearly as long as the uprising. jeremy pulls out some hazy photographs he's gotten from some of the other humans he exchanges info with. you look at them, the hostages.

after a minute or two of staring, you realize something.

they all sort of resemble you.

there's a clear pattern actually. your hair or your face shape or your eyes or your smile. some combination of them. but never actually you. you ask jeremy what it all means, and he hesitatingly says that it looks like sun is looking for someone. it's clear to everyone who it is as they all stare at you.

and you? you're panicking.

he's looking specifically for you. just you. you've never heard of the robots taking hostages, and you have no idea what he's doing with them, but it can't be anything good. especially since he keeps taking more and more of your lookalikes hostage. you think back to your time at the pizzaplex--so distant, now, that it almost feels like a dream.

he wants to kill you himself. you're sure of it.

now you're trying even harder to get to that underground base. you go completely dark, doing your best to evade detection--and i imagine there are quite a few close calls, definitely a few instances where your face is captured on camera or you have to use an EMP. until finally, you and your group manage to integrate into the underground human base.

'base' doesn't even properly describe it. it's a whole city, actually, with unsteady houses made of wood and cloth. it's the perfect place to hide.

you spend a while down there, occasionally venturing up when you're allowed to by the guards (it's rare, very very rare). the city has strict rules that must be followed to ensure it's not found. the ones in charge are constantly looking for news on the actions of sun and the majority of robots. they don't really keep the citizens updated--it would cause too much chaos, you think. but you hear whispers now and then. (the robots have expanded territory. france is completely gone. australia's still holding out. most of china and india have been taken over and their factories have all been transformed to mass produce more robots)

for the first time in a while, you think you can find peace down here. it was only inevitable that this would be ruined one day.

you wake up to chaos.

the underground is under siege. the robots have found you.

you run out of your makeshift house and have to dodge crumbling stone. explosions rock through the air, sending dust and debris everywhere. you're scared for your life--your only instinct is to run run run get out it's not safe! you don't know where your friends are. you don't know if they're alive. for a moment, you hesitate. and then you're bolting to try to find them. they had their own little homes not too far from you. you can find them. no man left behind.

you can hear bullets and the hum of energy everywhere. people are screaming and crying all around you. you see people dying before your eyes, impaled by beams of light or stray bullets. it's all you can do to dodge and weave towards vincent's house.

but before you can get there, something tackles you from behind. you roll across dirt, and find yourself pinned under a robot--a staffbot from the pizzaplex, you realize. except it looks--different. more high tech.

it seems to scan your face. and just before it can finish, you manage to grab a stray metal rod laying on the ground next to you and stab it right through the eye.

you scramble, getting as far away as you can from the thing. but-- you run right into the path of a crumbling building. it buries you halfway under thick wood, and something sears its way through your leg. you're trapped. you're trapped and there's no one around to help you.

and just when you're on the brink of passing out, you see him. standing in front of you a ways away. those same star-patterned pants and dangling cap. but he's different somehow, he looks different. you can't place it, your vision blurring into red and purple.

moon looks at you as though you are the last thing he wants to see. and then you faint.

when you wake up, you're in a bedroom. your leg is in a cast and there are crutches near your bed.

it's... the nicest room you've seen in a while. the windows are covered by thick curtains that let in a sliver of light. you have to blink a bit to let your eyes adjust. and then you get up, noticing you aren't in the same ratty, dirty clothes you'd been wearing for forever.

you try the door first. it's locked. there's a sinking sensation in your gut that gets stronger and stronger the closer you get to the window. and when you pull open the curtains, you gasp at the towering buildings, bright green and blue light, and flying drones.

you are in the middle of the celestial city.

you panic hard. and then you notice the camera in the corner of the room, looking right at you. big brother is definitely watching. you give him the bird.

you wallow around in the bedroom for a bit. you are hungry, you cannot deny. and there is only a glass of water for you set on your nightstand.

but eventually, the door opens of its own accord. an automatic lock, you suppose. and it swings open into a dark hall. you do not have any other choice but to follow. it's clear you are being summoned.

there are no places for you to run or hide. you travel down a long hallway and end up in a wide room with someone tall standing at the far end by the window. it's a scene straight out of a movie. you are not impressed.

the figure turns around, and you do a double take. it's sun--yet it's not.

he looks different. taller, stronger. with clawed fingers and rays that look deadly to the touch. his smile is sharper, his torso has all sorts of compartments and attachments. he was modded to all hell, just like that staffbot you saw earlier. it had to have been self inflicted.

he only stares at you, really. white eyes rake up and down your form, taking you in. you don't say a word, only look back at him. and then you flinch slightly when someone emerges from the shadows next to sun.

it's... moon. looking just as modded as sun. you're confused. when did they become separate? but honestly, you think it makes sense. they never really liked each other. it makes sense that sun would want to be separated as soon as possible--and they had the resources to do so. you just wonder why they're still working together. comfort in the familiarity, maybe.

moon doesn't meet your eye. you notice his is different--the red tinged with purple. sun doesn't look away from you. it makes you uneasy.

you don't know why you're here, but one thing's clear: you are not getting out of here anytime soon.

i'm honestly not sure how to end things, but in my head there's a lot of reconciliation that needs to happen. obv sun is so incredibly down bad for you at this point (and moon), but there are many issues that need to be tackled first.

sun doesn't understand why you're so wary around him. moon keeps avoiding you at every turn. there's still an entire revolution and remaking of society happening. you are constantly being watched by cameras in the building. i can't picture things as returning to normal--post uprising--but i also don't know how to end things on a happy note LOL, though i do want to instead of killing off reader or sun/moon. maybe it'll be a bittersweet sort of end, maybe reader finally gets through to sun. maybe eclipse will make an appearance (jk, idk how i would even do that, this might be an eclipse-less fic).

in any case, the next bit would be a lot of sun and reader connecting better than they had in the pizzaplex, a lot of sun trying to understand humans better cuz he's trying to court you-- and has long come to accept his emotions tbh. tho he's still kind of mad at you for leaving, so there needs to be a conversation of sorts about why you left before sun can really begin to understand how he appears to you. idk!

i also feel like moon isnt nearly fleshed out as sun is?? i dunno, i might have to think some more about him. i just know he's terrified of hurting you, esp with him still having the virus (and sun, but he has better control of it). gonna be a lot of work on your part to get him to be comfortable around you again. also, he doesn't like the fact that society has come to this. he lowkey resents sun, but he doesn't have anyone else. what's a bot to do?

also there may be a scene where your survival group tries to save you lol, maybe with an army that tries to seize control of the celestial city. which may work. this would be a bad end, i think, cuz there's no way sun's getting out of that alive.

anyways yeah. i rambled enough LMAOO whoopsie! i rly just regurgitated all the thoughts in my head. no promises that this will be a fic, i've got enough on my plate as is LOL

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ : ᴇ ɪ ɢ ʜ ᴛ

m a s t e r l i s t

ᴇ ɪ ɢ ʜ ᴛ

As Sunday arrives I'm counting down the hours until Lando arrives, pathetic I know. I've had the best weekend so far dancing nonstop like I've never danced before. There's something so incredibly special about Tomorrowland and the way it brings so many people together through a shared love of music, as a group we've spent time with people from across the world. Not to be big headed but I've had a few people trying to flirt with me but I can't bring myself to flirt back. Something that didn't go unnoticed by the girls however I've been strong up to now and haven't told them anything about Lando. They've caught me on my phone a few times but they haven't pushed to find out who I've been messaging.

"Ry how did the race go?" I ask Ryan one of my best friends as he joins us with Liam, Tyler and Callum. They decided to find a big screen to watch the race while I stayed with the girls.

"Your dad finished 11th just behind Stroll but he ignored team orders to let your dad pass. His car was on fresher tyres and was doing so much better than Stroll" Ryan explains knowing that none of us are really a fan of Stroll. I like to give everyone a chance but when I've had my friends at races, Stroll has been nothing but rude to them. "The drama was at the front of the grid today though"

"Please don't say anyone crashed"

"No one crashed but McLaren made Norris give up P1 for Piastri" Liam explains and I'm genuinely in shock. Lando will be devastated. I saw how much he beat himself up over a third place finish, this is going to be even worse.

"They did what?! You can't ask a driver to do that!"

"Piastri lead for most of the race but they boxed Norris first. He came out quicker and when they boxed Piastri, Norris was pulling away. They kept asking him on the radio to give the position back even though Piastri was struggling to keep up and Norris has to slow down to let him through. Norris sounded so pissed off" I can't believe what I'm hearing from Liam. Lando could've had his first win and the team has given it to his teammate.

"That's so unfair. If they wanted to keep Piastri as race leader they should have boxed him first. That's common sense but then to make Norris give up a win is disgusting" Piastri might have been leading the race but people lose first position in racing. These things just happen. 

A few hours later my friends and I are at our vip viewing platform at the main stage when I get a message from Lando asking where I am. He must have arrived and after the race he's had I want nothing more than to see him. Messaging back I tell Lando I'll be with him in a few minutes and agree to meet him not far from where I am.

"Kiera if anyone asks I'll be back as soon as I can" I say leaning over to my friend Kiera. I see the confusion in her face and I know she's going to question me.

"Where are you going? Do you need me to come with you?"

"No I'll be fine. I'll explain later but I promise I'll be okay. I'll text if I need anything" making my way to where I've agreed to meet Lando I move as quick as my legs will allow. I just want to see him. As he comes into view, one look at his face and I can tell he's been crying. He has every right to after the way the team treated him.

"Lucía, hi" it's almost as if Lando is nervous and doesn't know how to act around me.

"Hi Lando. Come here" breaking the ice I pull Lando into a hug. His head finds the crook of my neck and his arms go around my waist while my arms find their way around his neck. The way he's holding on to me is like he needed this. He just needed someone to be there for him.

"Thank you" Lando whispers just loud enough for me to hear "after the race the only person I wanted to see in the paddock was you and I knew you weren't there"

"Im sorry. I'm so sorry about today. I didn't watch but I heard"

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I did the bare minimum media and left. I had to get out of there before I said something I shouldn't. Lu I'm so fucking pissed off about it and I have to pretend to the media I'm okay with it and it is what's best for the team but I'm not okay with it"

"It wasn't what was best for the team. You're higher in the standings than he is, you're closer to be fighting for the championship. I don't know who planned todays strategy but they got it so wrong" running my fingers through Lando's hair I make him look at me "you deserved that win but now I want you to come back fighting. I want you to win in Miami and say a massive fuck you to them all"

"I'll win in Miami for you Lucía" feeling Lando's lips on mine I feel the emotion of the day pouring from him. It's not a sloppy kiss but it's hard and rough. It's like he's giving all of himself to me.

"Don't win it for me Lando. Win it for yourself" kissing Lando once more I pull away "come on, I'll take you to meet my friends. Hardwell is on soon and I don't want to miss a second of it, not even for you Norris"

"Charming. I'll text Max and tell him where we are"

"Is there just the two of you? I hope you don't mind there's ten of us" I say knowing I'm taking Lando into the unknown.

"Yeah it's just me and Max here but the more the merrier" intertwining my fingers with Lando's I don't let go as we make our way through some of the more crowded areas until we reach my friends in our vip area.

"Listen you little fuckers this is Lando he's joining us for the rest of the night" I say getting my friends attention "Lando this is Abi, Liv, Danielle, Kiera, Millie, Callum, Liam, Tyler and Ryan. The boys are F1 fans, the girls not so much"

"Hold on you're telling me you've just snuck off to bring Lando Norris to join us. Lucía I always knew you were a fucking legend" Ryan practically screams at me. He's probably the biggest F1 fan of the boys and I know how much of a McLaren fan he is.

"What can I say Ry, you're lucky to have me" once all of the pleasantries are done I grab a drink for me and Lando. "Sorry my friends are even more full on when they've been drinking"

"Honestly it's fine. A few more drinks and I'll be no different to them and Max is wild as well" I can't bring myself to move away from Lando I'm practically attached to his hip but he doesn't seem to mind "alright mate, this is Lucía. Lu this is Max my best friend"

"Nice to finally meet the girl I've heard about nonstop. He's buzzing you're here this weekend" I get the feeling Max likes to try and make Lando blush but honestly I agree with everything he's saying.

"Nice to meet you Max. I think the feeling is mutual though" I'm not even ashamed to admit it. I've missed Lando way more than I should especially in the time we've known each other.

We spend the next few hours dancing to some of the world's best DJ's enjoying every second. Lando is never far from me, his arm either around my waist or shoulders other than when I've actually been sat on his shoulders. My friends have clicked with Lando straight away and no one has been awkward with anyone. I know they're curious about what my relationship with him is but they haven't pushed for answers. I don't even know if I could give them answers. It's like this whole night has just been me and Lando in our own bubble, we haven't held back. We've kissed, we've danced, we've cuddled, we've talked, we've held hands. We've completely forgotten that we've been in public around thousands of people.

f1gossip

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f1gossip Lando Norris spotted at Tomorrowland music festival in Belgium with a mystery blonde following an upsetting race in Hungary

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user they could be friends for all anyone knows

↪️ user3 they're definitely more than friends when you see the videos on TikTok. He was all over her

user6 she's not just a random blonde, that's Alonso's daughter Lucía

↪️ user5 this screams paddock drama!

[salad-006]

btw salad what's ur opinion on eddsworld legacy?

For the most part, i think legacy is Okay. It's not the Best, but its nice to see so many people come together to finish off the show. I can respect all the work these guys did, especially tomska.

If you came for my option on the season and thats it you can leave, because the rest of this is me going crazy mode

My only real problems lie with only 2-3 episodes, and it drives me Crazy because they're By Far the most popular, so they've caused the most problems. This one question ended up becoming a giantic essay SORRY im just passionate about ebbworld

Keep in mind these are Just my options, I'm not going to look down on you if you're the number one The End Fan. If you like it then Cool, you can continue to enjoy it. And i can continue to hate it over in my corner

I'm keeping this section on Fun Dead short, mostly because it's not really the worst offender

The "Obliviously stupid to progress the plot" trope is so bad here. They've seen zombies before how do they not recognize them now. I get them being oblivious to super obvious things is the joke ,but its just not funny

For a Zombie centric episode, there's barely any Fighting. I feel like big fight scenes are what people like most with these. But no we get a 30 second montage, one that's not even animated

They are such wusses in this episode id bully them if i was there i think

The End. Don't even get me started on The End. Legitimately i have never seen such a botched finale in my life. Fair warning this is about to get long and angry im sorry

Let me ask one question: how come in the Finale To Eddsworld Legacy, the season Dedicated to Edd Gould and his work, Edd Himself does not play a prominent role? I'm not even kidding, you could write Edd out completely and Nothing would change. Ive heard people say this was Tomska going out with a bang before leaving the show, but from what i know he also wanted eddsworld to be completely over at The End. If that's true he could have atleast let Edd shoot the harpoon or some shit, come on

This is such a disappointing finale overall. They don't do anything exciting. We just get to watch a little "do you remember this episode?" Montage, all the sudden everything gets crazy then oh! Episodes over goodbye forever.

An end fight might have been more exciting had it been set up properly. They gave us the bare minimum, which was having tords stupid little gang tag appear a few times then having two of his coworkers/soldiers appear a few times. That doesn't hint at a Tord being an evil meglomaniac who's got a giant fucking robot hidden under the house

FUTURE EDD CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AS WELL, AND HE WORKS GREAT BECAUSE HE SETS UP THE LORE IMMEDIATELY. Tords return gave us Nothing beyond "he is manipulating them!!" Instead we get the book dropped on us halfway through the LAST EPISODE OF THE SEASON without ever being given any sort of explanation. That's just it.

ALSO FUCK BRINGING TORD BACK AT ALL. the dude asked to be removed from the show and what did they do? Hinted at his return like 15 times then had him come back as this manipulative mastermind, whos got a bunch of science stuff and a russian accent. At the bare minimum you could have writtten him to atleast resemble something close to Tord. There's literally more evidence that points to him being a clone than there is him being the real Tord, and it WASN'T EVEN INTENTIONAL.

Took a character who had left with all his loose ends tied up, brought him back with completely new unexplained info, then ended the show with both the original and the new loose ends untied. I've read this was Tomska trying to write Tord out of the show for good, but he somehow managed to do the complete opposite by leaving him at a LITERAL cliffhanger. Now all the 12 year olds are @ ing eddsworld begging he comes back for a redemption episode.

I could scream forever about the end but ive already said too much SORRY. This is why im just rewritting it myself to make it good

One last thing: its somewhat heartbreaking to me how Legacy has totally overgrown the classic episodes. Of the top Ten most popular videos on the channel, Seven of them are legacy episodes, with Edds three episodes being at the very bottom of the list

I just don't like it. I dont like how legacy has become like the Face of what eddsworld is. Maybe it's just because Edds work has been one of the biggest inspirations in my life (if that wasn't obvious already) IDK it seems unfair

Tldr: i dont like what legacy has done to the series and the fandom, but it's okay for the most part. Fuck The End though

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[dreamwritesimagines]

DREAM HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CRY ON A PERFECTLY ENJOYABLE EVENING!! i knew this was coming but i still feel so betrayed- all things considered i did really enjoy this chapter a LOT like there was some bonding with the duke!! and hugh!! we should be mindful of that too!! and do i smell a possible match for lucie in one of cecily's sisters?? yes im once again ignoring the angst and trying to find the positive!!

Deep down inside, you wanted an explanation. You needed it, even though you had claimed you never wanted to see him again. It was so confusing that you could barely understand what you were supposed to think about this, but thankfully you had the best distraction. okay so perhaps reading this again right after spending a whole week analysing and writing an essay on how passion/emotions overrule reason in pride and prejudice is not the best idea considering all my brain is looking for is other possible references to it!! speaking of i'm positive i could go my whole academic career writing essays on your fanfics alone and never run out of topics to write about

“Oh the horror,” he said and entered the room, then smiled at you. “Lady Y/N.” unrealistic writing i would have positively swooned at this

“Right,” you said, snapping your fingers. “Because we’re courting. You should pretend to have missed me more, you know? For our courtship’s sake.” dream i'm telling you let cherie just date hugh we all love him and she deserves better than allard bc all the anti-pierre anons have influenced me and i no longer trust he's not going after her dowry he's probably the wickham of this story with his whole charming facade

You pouted. “I was almost hoping you’d pick a black tie so I could fix it.” look THIS is realistic writing because i too would have suggested anything to be able to be closer to him for a few moments

“I should go,” Hugh muttered. “I will be back to court you some more, Lady Y/N.” “I can hardly wait,” you played along as he grinned, then walked out of the room. LET CHERIE HAVE HUGH IM BEGGING YOU DREAM!! i love him

Or maybe your mother and everyone back at Paris were right; you were naïve. maybe your mother and everyone back at paris is a BITCH (kidding i would never say that about the wonderful late duchess but also damn she couldve been a bit nicer)

“Oh,” Lord Oakley said before stealing a look at you. “I was not aware that ladies were interested in politics, Lady Y/N.” oh this bitch is about to get murdered (glad to know i was right) i love the duke and cherie basically tag-teaming to murder people with their words it's a nice bonding activity for them

“Mademoiselle Y/N,” oh here's THIS bitch again 🙄🙄 maybe he should go back to france we have our dear hugh to make anthony jealous pierre should fuck off

“I could never miss it, I love opera,” he said as the Duke and Hugh came closer. oh i'm sure you do PIERRE. tbh i had hopes that the duke and hugh came closer to make sure pierre fucked off but alas i must wait

“May I?” he asked, offering you his arm and you smiled brightly, then placed your hand on his arm and followed the Duke and Cecily. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN HUGH!! fuck pierre for taking his place (i feel like i've been swearing a lot more than usual this ask and i'm 98% sure it's because pierre annoys me so much)

Eloise and Benedict had apparently decided to greet you and the whole family. awwww that's so nice of them look there's also nice bridgerton siblings!! we love that!!

You averted your gaze from her to look at Benedict who was frowning at something Pierre had said. benedict is me during this whole chapter

“Oh I guess I can tell you, you’re basically family. She’s with child again.” i KNEW it!! im the best guesser (yes it was obvious but i like praising myself for the bare minimum)

Anthony was kissing Miss Siena. you know i knew this was gonna happen but STILL!! dream you're breaking cherie's (and our) hearts 😭😭 i sincerely hope she gets to punch him sometime in the future

“I’m not leaving you like this, come on,” she said as Hugh stood up, no doubt to chaperone Cecily as you all walked out of the box into the hallway, then went downstairs. first of all yes!! we love cecily and elias being supportive af!! but also cherie my love hugh was going there bc of YOU (even if not intended it is the truth in my mind)

“Fresh air will help,” Hugh said softly, as if trying to console you and you wiped at your eyes. exactly hugh is being nice my beloved!! forget about anthony there's a dream man right here!!

“Anthony, don’t.” Benedict and Simon entered the hallway but he looked almost deaf to them, deaf to everyone but you and him as he took a step towards you. hey the whole cherie protection squad has arrived!! plus anthony!! this definitely cannot go wrong what are you talking about!! also i love these new snippets of protective simon is that something we're going to see more of in future chapters??

“What the fuck did you do?” Elias snapped as a sob escaped from you and in a second, chaos erupted through the hallway. Elias lunged at Anthony to punch him in the face, making Cecily and Hugh rush to him while Anthony pushed Elias back, still trying to get to you but Simon grabbed at Elias while Benedict pulled Anthony back. you know i simply would have let elias punch anthony. rip to like everyone there but im different

“Elias!” Simon said as he tried to lunge at Anthony again and Simon shoved him back right before Cecily got in between them, making Elias instantly take a step back so as not to hurt her. awww okay this is the absolute cutest we love several grown men not being able to stop an overprotective brother but his one and only love stopping him immediately

“This is not over, do you hear me?” Elias growled before he and Cecily made their way to you and he cupped your face. i sure hope it isn't over anthony still deserves that punch in his face idc who gives it to him

“I’m not waking up,” you managed to say through frozen lips, making Cecily and Elias exchange glances. “Why am I not waking up?” okay this is where i started crying wtf dream why must you hurt us like this 😭😭

“He doesn’t love me, Cece,” A sob climbed up your throat as you wiped at your eyes. “He doesn’t. I thought he did but…I’m unlovable I think.” DREAM I'M ONCE AGAIN ASKING YOU WHY OUR DEAR CHERIE HAS GONE THROUGH ENOUGH THIS IS MEAN

“Please don’t talk like that,” he said slowly. “Please. I couldn’t bear imagining it.” full-on sobbing at this point also reminds me what was the duke's reaction to all of this?? like what must HE be thinking??

“I just have something I need to do, but I will be back, alright? Try to get some sleep, for me?” i hope that's code for "i'm gonna go punch anthony rn brb"

“Love,” you managed to say, your voice a mere whisper. “I want love gone.” and just when i thought the pain had subdued for a bit you took one final fatal stab at my heart i KNEW something like this was going to happen but you've managed to write it in such a compelling, heart-wrenching way that it still manages to make me cry like a sad movie i've seen dozens of times before 😭😭

i'm not sure if i can truly thank you for this chapter considering you made me cry but i am very grateful for you once again sharing your wonderful talents with us no matter the emotions it has me feel!! i hope you have a wonderful day (see i'm not holding a grudge for the crying thing!!) and i can't wait for what tuesday will bring 😭😭

Omg aww Merel hi love! ❤

Oh there will be more of those convos with the Duke! ❤

Pride and Prejudice my beloved 😂

i'm positive i could go my whole academic career writing essays on your fanfics alone and never run out of topics to write about OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO CRY ALREADY- you’re so sweet loveeee! ❤😭

Cherie was probably still blind to anyone but Anthony at that point, even if she was angry at him 😂

dream i'm telling you let cherie just date hugh Well- I see where you’re coming from BUT dating was not exactly a thing back then darling, do you want them to end up getting married? 😂😂

Cherie loves dressing people up and Hugh was lucky to escape that 😂 She would spend an hour going through his wardrobe otherwise 😂

Oh yeah literally everyone called her naïve back there 💔

And the duke knew! He knew Cherie would murder him verbally and he was having so much fun😂

oh here's THIS bitch again Literally all of us whenever Pierre shows up 😂

Wait, do we think Hugh wanted to escort her to the box? ❤

benedict is me during this whole chapter LOLLL😂

But yesssss you guessed right! ❤

Cherie will be so heartbroken 💔

hugh is being nice my beloved!! forget about anthony there's a dream man right here!! Ooooh my God 😂

We’re actually going to see everyone being protective of Cherie ❤

He did end up punching him ONCE but he was going to keep going! ❤ Until Cecily got in between them ❤ That was enough to make him stop immediately ❤

Isn’t angst fun? 😈

Oooh the Duke’s reaction ❤ We will get it in the following chapters but like, there’s going to be a full convo between him and Cherie!

i hope that's code for "i'm gonna go punch anthony rn brb" He went to find Anthony! 😈

Aww honeeey this is so sweet of you!❤ Thank you so much, I’m so happy to hear that you liked it! ❤ I hope you will like Tuesday’s extra scene as well!❤

[artsychaosbean]

See even if its bright I CAN have a seizure. But if im gaming I have the choice to walk away when I feel signs of one. there is some warning signs it starts out as a more of a sickness for me. Thats when I know its time to put it down. I also have a limit not only on how long I play but how often. I will have a 3 day minimum buffer between streams for my safety if Im on a horror binge. My streams never last over 4 hours and I keep everything around me screen included bright to minimize the effects as far as I can of the lights. I also take 5 to 10 minute breaks every hour to check on myself to make sure I'm okay and can keep going. if there is even a smidge of doubt, I come back, save, quit, end stream and raid out to someone else. I choose to risk my life to try to make someones day to do something I love doing because I don't want my disability to stop me. But its a choice. And thats what it should always be. A warning is not some out of the way insane amazing spectacular thing to do. Its the bare minimum people SHOULD be doing. We shouldn't be using rapid flashing lights where we dont NEED to use them just bc "Its pretty" or the first idea that came to mind In the first place. Not in a grocery store, not in a youtube short, not in a youtube intro where thats the first thing they will see, not in a forced advertisement. not on a website's home page. If any flashing lights ARE on your site you should ALWAYS have the homepage the landing page without them and a pop up warning about the rest of the site. Otherwise people could have seizures just going to your site in the first place without even knowing it'd be like that. It should always be an informed choice if we expose ourselves to flashing lights. Putting it in these mentioned places takes that choice out of our hands and puts us at risk. and in the video game world, on major corporation and major social media sites, and in real life when we are out on our own streets, Accessibility options should ALWAYS exist. Im not going to sit here and demand a small time wix website have accessibility options however a warning and a epileptic safe landing page is the bare minimum and IS possible even if you have 0 coding knowledge with a website builder like wix. theres no excuses not to do it. As for big social media platforms, video game companies and developers. If you have the budget to run a big site for millions of people or the budget to run a video game with a full entire team of developers, programmers, artists, sound designers, 3D modellers. You should have the money to pay them to start working on accessibility features even if it comes out in a patch. Maybe rather than pocket far beyond a living wage, far beyond a wage that would let you live luxuriously. CEOS should be using some of that money to make the world a safer and more accessible place starting with their own software, companies, shop chains, and games. Epilepsy isn't as rare as people think and people risk dying from it every single day of their lives. Even in their sleep. Why should people make it any higher of a chance? why should people ignore and blatantly neglect and disregard it? to the people who keep fighting against accessibility. If you aren't going to make an active change to help. Don't get in the way of others who are. Keep your mouth shut and your fingers off your keyboard. I will never understand how people like you live with yourself when even children have died to epilepsy. The same epilepsy you try to prevent help for, out of some entitled ableist hubris.

Why are people so ableist?

I will never understand this world. I'm epileptic, the medications don't work for me, I throw medicine up because my stomach is irreparably messed up because of malpractice from my childhood doctor. I reject medications involuntarily. It causes me severe pain. On top of that asthma and epileptic medications are EXPENSIVE, you cant pay for rent, food and bills, supplements for deficiencies AND 6 different medications for different ailments. One medication alone can cost me around 100 - 120$ in my town its so overpriced it used to be 80 - 90$ but then it went up in my local pharmacies from shortages and C-vid losses. (per week. they only give you a WEEKS worth in my town they dont do months) An inhaler is going to be 300 - 700$ in my town the medication will be 80 - 100$ per month. tell me where I get that money. Thats NOT affordable. Not when im already paying 100$ in supplements, not when im pitching in for bills and rent and food already. Not when im kicked off of disability because they want more people working and are trying to force disabled people into jobs. Yeah thats what has happened to me. Because I can physically move my limbs im not "disabled enough" for help even if I have seizures, even if I have tourettes, even if I have a compromised immune system, even if I have a messed up knee, shoulders, wrists, ankles, neck and back that are permenantly injured and don't have full functionality, are weak and in constant pain. But I'm "not disabled enough" So nope can't get my medications covered either. Im not in a job so I cant get covered by that either. I haven't lost a job so again cant get covered through that gov benefit. The only gov benefit I get is 580$ every year thats ALL I get. I can't even afford dental and I have cavities, I can't afford eye care and my vision isn't the best and my glasses are broken.

[sadgirlselfcare]

Self-Care - When You Don’t Care Pt. 1

I have frequently been told “I WANT to take care of my personal health and spend time pampering myself, but depression gets in the way.” Believe me – I am the FIRST person to understand this statement. When that dark wave starts to cloud over your head, everything feels impossible. Simple things like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, and putting on deodorant can seem like climbing a mountain. Well over the last 15 plus years that I’ve dealt with depression, I have found ways to ensure im taking care of the bare minimum at least, without being too hard on my body and my emotional state. I figured I could compile a list of these things you can do, even in the midst of depression, to keep taking care of yourself. 1. Teeth Brushing – This seems to be one of the hardest tasks for me when I'm battling depression. I honestly have no idea why it seems so hard, but nevertheless, I have discovered that rinsing with mouthwash is better than not doing anything. Your dentist will probably scold you, but if simply keeping your mouth bacteria and germ free is the best you can do, it is enough. 2. Showering/Bathing – When the fatigue sets in, standing in the shower, washing my hair, and shaving all seem like giant tasks that will deplete every bit of energy I have left. Rather than going weeks without a shower (like I have in the past), just soak in the tub. There's no need to wash your hair, or even your body if you don’t have the energy. Soaking in the tub will at least help keep your skin cleaner than it would be without. 3. Exercise – This one can be tough. Depression comes with fatigue and lack of motivation. Both of those things make getting up and moving around very difficult. Play your favorite song. Put it on and let your body feel the music. If all you can do is bob your head, do that. If you feel inclined, get up and dance. The average song is around 4 minutes long. 4 minutes of dancing is better than 24 hours of doing absolutely nothing to move your body around.

4. Getting Dressed – I know it sounds easier to stay in the same clothes for days, but I've found over the years, that sitting in the same dirty clothes for days can actually make my mood WORSE. I don’t need to get dressed up, but just changing into a different shirt can make a huge difference. Start with one piece of clothing. Just change your shirt, or your pants, or hell, even just your socks. After sitting in the same clothes for days, a clean article of clothing can really make you feel better. 5. Social Interaction – Depression is an isolating feeling...It convinces you that you’re worthless, annoying, too sensitive, etc. This can really start to take a toll on your mind, causing you to isolate yourself from your friends and family. Try to send one text per day to someone you care about. Even if all it says is “have a good day”, this is better than nothing. Alternatively you can join some social media groups that spark your interest. Make an introduction post and try to interact with at least one person per day from that group. Being trapped inside your own mind all day long is extremely exhausting. It truly can help to just have one small interaction per day, and over time you might find that you can have two or more interactions per day. I know that none of these suggestions are magic fixes for depression. I also understand that even some of these things can be too overwhelming to do. That’s okay. Just don’t give up hope. Keep trying, and keep telling yourself that you are worthy and loved. We will make it through this together.

[solesurvivorpaigeargot]

HOLY HELLO Sketchy friends, followers, and fans! It's that time again, time for...

SHIPPY SATURDAY!

The heck is happening here? Here's an FAQ~ Wanna support the event? Here's my Ko-fi!

That's right, it's FINALLY the last Saturday of the month... and I've decided it's high time our Quotable prompt evolved into a Dialog prompt! This is gonna work a lot like previous Quote prompts, but with an extra twist, so please make sure you read the guidelines for a valid request before sending in!

ONWARDS!

To make a VALID Shippy Saturday request, please send me the following in an ASK to my ASKBOX:

The COUPLE you'd like me to sketch up ---- OC? Heck yes! Canon? Hell yeah! All characters welcome, so long as they're from Fallout ---- OC x OC? Cool! Canon x Canon? SWEET! OC x Canon? DAMN RIGHT.

The NUMBER of the dialog snippet you'd like me to art them saying ---- Got more than one favorite? You may list up to THREE in your ask, in order of preference, to help the artist avoid repeats <3 ---- Still can't pick? Send in 'Dealer's Choice!' and the artist will pick one for you.... oooor possibly make up some fresh dialog on the spot ;3

What KIND OF RELATIONSHIP your couple has with each other ---- Romantic? Platonic? Professional? Familial? Rivals? Neighbors? Despite it's name, Shippy Saturday is about all kinds of human connections, not just the romantic ones! ---- Is your couple part of a larger OT3 or poly group? Tell me who else is part of the relationship; they probably won't get arted, but they might add their two cents to the scene from off-frame XD

IF YOU'RE SENDING IN AN OC!! ---- Send your request ask FIRST, without reference information ---- THEN send your OC's reference information to me via my Tumblr IM ---- Don't have any reference pictures, but you can type of a written description? Great! I love working from written descriptions! :D [ No, really, I do. Give them to me :D ]

After that, you can leave all the rest to me! :D [ I.e Please do not request poses or specific actions ]

Hokay? HOKAY! With all of that out of the way, let's get onto the dialog snippets! These are taken from various things I enjoy, as well as some of my own work. These quotes have been modified to gender neutral pronouns, to remove most proper nouns, and for brevity.

[ Some of these quotes have multiple speakers! That will be shown like this! "Speaker A" -- "Speaker B" ]

"Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance" -- "... I thought you called it your pecker."

"Here, you look cold."

"You are so lucky I love you." -- "Damn right."

"You know the routine." -- "Yeah! WE do all the work, YOU get all the credit!"

"I want you with me, but... I'm scared." -- "Trust me. Trust me to take care of myself." -- "I trust you, it's the rest of the world I'm terrified of!"

"No breakfast?" -- "I did it yesterday-- bologna and beans, it's your turn." -- "No... It was eggs. I did eggs... over easy." -- "The hell you did! Bologna and beans, it's your turn!"

"I like the kind of person who can handle themselves... think on their feet."

"So you were ahead of me." -- "I don't know about ahead, but I've been behind you ever since you fried those mannequins."

"Don't make me say it out loud..." -- "... I can say it first, if that'll help."

"Nooooooope... five more minutes." -- "We were together all night." -- "Didn't count... I was sleepin'."

"Well, this is very serious" -- "IT IS!" -- "You, you destroyed a door." -- "Colonel, we're talking about a test on an armored vehicle, that will carry people into combat." -- "Right, but this door is property of--" -- "The shell barely penetrated the door." -- "okay, but now it's all bent out of shape. How are you gonna get it back on its hinges?" -- "I'LL BUY THE ARMY A NEW GODDAMN DOOR!"

"Sorry, I thought... I thought you were trying to buy something I'm not selling."

"I'm busy." -- "Too busy to look up?"

"You can't kill people just because you don't agree with them." -- "You see, that was the ONE point me and the doctors could never agree upon."

"Would you ever consider having a drink with an enlisted solider?" -- "Depends... does the enlisted soldier think I need one?" -- "What are they gonna do? Kick you out?"

"Thanks" -- "No problem, anytime."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up-- one day it's gonna happen to you. Someday someone is gonna ask you, who is it? And a face is gonna jump to the front of your mind, and it's gonna completely sandbag you... I can't wait to watch!"

[to a peacefully sleeping person ] -- "Good moring, Mx. ___, this is your wake-up call. Please move your ass."

"I say we run for it" -- "Running isn't a plan, runnin's what you do when a plan fails!"

"... Normal Illinois, is that on the map?" -- "Yes, Sergeant, it is." -- "... is it normal in Normal?" -- "... Uneventful, I think, is the word."

"Now-- how many brahmin does it take to make a stampede? Is it like... three or more? Is there a minimum speed?" -- "Wish a stampede up your ass."

"I don't mind being a secret of yours."

[Right after THE BIG FUCKING KISS] ".... let's not make it a year before the next one, okay?"

"If we were serious about money, we'd quit being hired hands--" -- "Handymen! We are han-dee-men." -- "Oh whatever! We'd quit this and go find some real money."

"Please... don't go where I can't follow."

"Alone is fine! I can do alone, it's worrying after them that's got me all wound up!" -- "Have you considered that's because alone is NOT FINE and you don't wanna do it anymore?" -- "---!!"

"This is not the first time you've been here." -- "We've been down this road before, that is correct." -- "Several times, in fact." -- "I hadn't been keeping count."

"And you must be ___, I've heard all about you." -- "I deny everything."

"First time I saw you? I thought to myself, that's the kind of person BRICK WALLS jump outta the way of." -- "Figured you'd be safer behind me rather than in front of me?" -- "Damn right."

"Just keep looking at that beautiful sky; that's the sky that'll be over our roof when we're done." -- "What if we don't finish the roof? Then we can look at the sky all the time."

"Yeah, well... maybe a friend is what I need right now."

"Next thing you know the Feds will be at our door; Sorry, time to move out, Eminent Domain." -- "Down honey, down."

"Even a heat-seeking missile can miss a target." -- "... you taped so many hot-plates to the test target you could fry an egg at 20 feet, and it STILL missed by a mile."

"My dear, my darling, love of my life...." -- "What do you want?"

"What I mean to say is... you make here a better place to be. For me. Easier. Does that make sense?"

"Calm down, you make it sound like a war." -- "What do you people have against being prepared?!"

"This is not just a report, it's a deadly weapon." -- "Sir, an M-16 is a deadly weapon. A report is just a pile of paper, unless you plan to inflict a lot of extremely vicious paper cuts."

"Stupid son of a bitch, knocked himself out cold..." -- "Cold my ass, he's dead."

"Y'know, in baseball, a guy who hits .400 is consider pretty damn great." -- "In baseball the losing team isn't killed by their opponents."

"Hey... I love you. Did I tell you that today?"

This post is going online at 8 PM, June 24th, 2021, US Pacific time. The askbox will open for requests until 6 PM, June 25th, 2021, US Pacific Time. Get yours in now!

Arting will begin at 9 AM tomorrow morning, see you then! :D

-Loor

[botheredbuck]

hi hello my name is leo and here’s the post that literally no one asked for about how three by sleeping at last is written for one evan buckley (with lyric references!)

maybe i’ve done enough  and your golden child grew up 

listen this is literally about the buckley parents. he spent so long trying to be the perfect son for his parents, trying to solve whatever he’d done to them, trying desperately to just be enough for them and breaking himself in the process. he literally tore himself apart trying to be just something to them. he talks to maddie when he visits her in the hospital (in buck begins) about them thinking he’s a loser and literally begs her to believe him when he says he’s going to be something one day. that’s the effect his parents had on him. and when his parents come back in what’s your grievance/buck begins and he finally gets to tell them how they made him feel his whole life, and that convo with them at the end of buck begins, i think that’s the beginning of him kind of being able to say i’ve grown up now, and yeah what you did will always hurt me but i can move past it now, because i have my own family, i’ve found somewhere where i actually belong. and with the 118, he doesn’t have to be that golden child 

(sure, there’s the protective, kinda mentoring instinct between him and bobby that we see a lot through the early parts of season one especially, but even with that there’s never this expectation that buck’s gotta be perfect - gotta be the golden child. bobby’s trying to help him be a better firefighter and grow as a person but there’s never that pressure that there was with his parents. 

oh and hey maybe that’s why the lawsuit happens because the whole thing about bobby holding him back feels too much like his parents underestimating him, never believing in him (they think i’m a total loser maddie, and i’m not, i’m not okay- i’m gonna be something, i just- don’t know what yet) and it’s hard beause bobby has never made him feel like that but it’s just a little too close)

maybe this trophy isn’t real love 

this lyric. i do not give it enough appreciation but holy fuck. okay but, its like- it fits well with this whole idea that buck grew up with that he always had to deserve love, yanno? like his parents’ neglect basically taught him that he had to be putting himself in danger and hurting himself to be worth even attention. and it’s like- with the 118, he’s finally getting to realise that maybe that’s not how love is supposed to work. he’s been brought up with the idea that he needs to work for this love because otherwise if he’s not good enough people will leave. and this doesn’t even finish with his parents. this goes all the way through to abby, to ali. he has this deep rooted fear that if he’s not good enough then people will leave him, because that’s all he’s really had. and then this lyric- it’s like, him realising that this version of love that his parents fed him isn’t real love, isn’t how parents should love their kids, or how families should care for each other. and it’s just buck’s realisation that this tokenistic love isn’t something that he has to settle for, because it’s not real love. 

and with or without it i’m good enough maybe i’ve done enough 

this kinda carries on from the first point but it’s like, buck finally getting to realise that he doesn’t need his parents love to be worth shit. like his whole childhood he was just trying to be what his parents wanted in the desperate hope that they would see him. and now he’s found this place he really belongs and in the 118 he’s found these people he really belongs with, and it’s like- suddenly he doesn’t need to try- doesn’t need to work to be loved. and it’s like, he’s realising that he doesn’t need to change himself to be worth shit. 

a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell  but i’m slowly learning how to break this spell 

this- it’s just- the whole thing about buck getting therapy in s4. for so long he’s not really talked to anyone about the shit he’s been through, like even we see in what’s your grievance that the 118 basically know nothing about the buckleys. because buck doesn’t even talk about his past to them really, because he’s so ashamed of it. but him finally being able to go to therapy and work on it, it’s like- he’s slowly learning how to undo all this shit that his parents drilled into him, like about him never being good enough and about him having to work for their love and attention and change himself. and he’s finally learning, with therapy and with the 118 reteaching him all this shit about love (and not even romantic, like buddie is a whole other thing don’t even get me started, like familial love), how to get past his parents and realise that he is worthy of love, regardless of anything else. 

and i finally see myself  through the eyes of no one else 

oh shit but this is important and all right. like. it’s just a little thing but it’s like, buck trying to move on from letting what other people thought of him control him. i think this is something that he’s working on, and something that comes with time, because i think it’s something we see a lot throughout the show. i think it kinda contributes to the whole buck 1.0 thing, like sure a lot of why he wants to move on from ‘buck 1.0′ is about moving on and being a better man and stuff but i think it’s also this thought of being embarrassed of himself, almost? idk but look he has a lot of issues with seeing himself as good enough without the influence of others and i think this lyric links a lot to that. 

now i only want what’s real to let my heart feel what it feels 

again this fits with the whole therapy thing as well but it’s like- throughout the show he’s always been a very heart-on-his-sleeve kinda guy. like that’s just who he is. but like this- to let my heart feel what it feels - its like about him being allowed to be proud of how far he’s come and everything he’s been through with his parents and even after that. and its about him allowing himself to love unashamedly and without fear of people abandoning him, and not like letting that fear stop him from loving. and like yeah im gonna touch on buddie here bc like, it’s like after all this shit, everything that the two of them have been through, it’s like, that line is like him letting himself feel that for eddie, whatever it is. because for so long he’s not let himself get that connection after abby because she hurt him like that and he’s not let himself have this connection with eddie out of fear that it’s not going to be reciprocated or tat he’s a terrible person for falling in love with his best friend or some shit but it’s like- that line is like him allowing himself to feel that, and like that just being okay? like he’s finally getting to accept that he’s fallen in love with this increibleman and his incredible son and the life that he’s built with them, and like it’s about buck falling in love with that life and trusting that it’s not going to disappear from under his feet. and that takes buck a lot of courage because he’s only ever had people that left. and so he’s finally letting his heart feel , and letting his heart guide him, because he deserves it. 

and like even out of a buddie context, with the rest of the 118, it still applies. this shit about letting his heart feel what it feels, it’s like- letting himself believe that this life is something that he can have, that he can settle into, that he can keep. it’s like- he can love these people, and not have to see them leave. and that’s a revolutionary thing for buck, but it’s so freeing. 

and leave my greatest failures on display  with an asterisk  worthy of love anyway

holy fuck this is like, my favourite lyric ever okay but again it’s this idea that he has to work to be loved. he has to fight for attention and for appreciation and for love and like this lyric, it’s about him being able to move on from that and realise that he’s worthy of love at his rawest, without all this work and putting himself at risk. and sure im going back on my buddie bullshit for this but like- it’s eddie that makes him realise this. sure it’s the influence of the whole 118 and maddie and shit but it’s eddie most of all. eddie, who has dealt with his bullshit first hand (the whole jealousy thing in 2x01) and come through it by his side, still wanting to be his friend. eddie, who appreciates him and helps him and supports him and trusts him with his son. eddie, who forgives him, even when, yeah, sometimes he doesn’t need forgiving but then it’s eddie that tells him that (the post-tsunami stuff at the end of 3x03) and reassures him that he’s worthy. eddie, who fights by him and for him and desperately, constantly, tries to make him realise he’s so much more than what his parents deem him to be. eddie, who tells him that he doesn’t have to apologise just for existing and expecting the bare minimum of love from his parents (the boxing scene in - i think? - 4x04). eddie, who fights to get back to him. eddie, who trusts him so much with christopher that he’ll change his will for him. eddie, that loves him. right at his rawest, without all that work, with all his greatest failiures on display. because it’s eddie who’s seen most of that shit, and it’s eddie who’s stayed. who’s made him realise he’s worthy of love, anyway. 

...um

thank you for coming to my ted talk listen to three by sleeping at last and tell me that there is at least some sense in this pls im driving myself up the wall istg

[hobidreams]

Surprisingly, and I suppose with the original intent of it being more hurtful than the previous drabble, this one is healing. It shows that Yoongi does still hold on to the same feelings he did for her before to OC at least, in a very indirect way. I am not sure if I should call it "show", more like "reassure".

Also, off tangent, I love how throughout the series, OC is such a brave soul; always wanting to challenge herself and others, never pushing herself down, never putting down her abilities. She's honestly such a huge role model. This one really sticks out to me:

You scatter new herbs across the sturdy wooden table, preparing for another long session of experiments. You’ll prove them wrong, even if you have to sacrifice sleep to do it.

And Yoongi's very non verbal way of supporting her is beautiful. You've never wrote an actual sentence that directly calls out his support for her abilities, but it's there.

I'll try to explain this in the best way possible haha.

It's like, during that period of time, women getting into medicine was very... looked down upon? There were always backhanded compliments, straight up plagiarism, and even outcast-ing? Like this one for example:

None of the doctors have been able to find a solution, but they are still reluctant to work with you since you are an inferior woman.

With Yoongi, it's never there... I mean, today, this would be the bare minimum. But considering the mentality of people back then, it was kind of a lot.

And I know I am repeating this but I will say it again. There was never a line like, "Yoongi believed in OC [in respect to her knowledge and abilities]", it's literally there, as a reader you just get it. It's prevalent in his words, his mannerisms, just the way he is written...

You're honestly such an amazing writer, Rain. It pains me that I can't put my respect and admiration for you in words.

And I still love the queen. Seeing how she's supposedly turning the empire around, if she were the MC as of now, we'll be hearing a boss music play in the background lol.

oh my god wait hold up--okay so in my notes for myself in my Scrivener file... before i started writing the rest of the series past the first drabble, i made a small list for myself to capture Yoongi's character. there are three categories: things he never does, things he rarely does, and things he always does. under the last one, i put "respect your occupation" !!!!!! but i guess i never actually worked a line like that into the series!!!! but you are absolutely right. Yoongi has always supported oc in her medicinal endeavors. he always brings her books she needs, gets her the ingredients, and lets her work 💗 he understands how much she loves her occupation.

as for the new update: i actually didn’t intend for it to be painful but there are certain aspects of it that do cut deep 🥺 im glad you felt that way 💗 it makes me so happy that there are all these different aspects that my readers can pick out in the work, whether i intended it or not 💕 and you are such an astute reader ahhhh! i am blessed. 

also i am laughing my ass off at “boss music” omg FOR REALLLL she would be kicking ass and then having tea a few minutes later in her fancy hanbok 💅

thank you so much for taking the time to write this 💞💞💞💞💞 it has made me unspeakably happy to be read so carefully and with so much love. you are the best 🥺✨ take care, friend!!

[stormyoceansmain]

Since you’re about to start Lonestar soon, here’s my essay on the whole screen-time balancing issue:

So, for the original 9-1-1, the show was created specifically for Angela Bassett. They wanted to do an entire show around her, and they came up with this whole first responders thing as a result. Obviously, if they were going to focus on all aspects of first responding, then they would need some other headlining actors to lead those other areas or nobody would care about any parts of the show besides Athena’s. They got Peter Krauss and Connie Britton. Both big names. This makes it where when cop stuff is being shown, we have a big name, when firefighter/EMS stuff is being show, we have a big name, and when dispatcher stuff is being shown, we have a big name. It evenly divides the interest in all three directions. Then, Connie Britton leaves, and amazingly and very wisely, rather than replacing her with a lesser-known actress or just stopping the dispatcher scenes altogether, they snag JLH for the role. And I know there are many people out there who only started watching the show due to being a fan of her. She’s a headliner, and that’s what headliners do: pull in more audience. Anyway, this works perfectly to maintain that balance of the three areas. Now, I honestly don’t think the writers were expecting Buck to be as much of a fan-favorite as he is because now when we’re looking at the firehouse, the focus is usually more on him rather than Bobby, especially now that Bathena is a thing and a lot of their scenes are together outside of work. Regardless, the point is that they set things up really well to have that initial balance of characters in the beginning, and they did a good job of maintaining that by bringing in JLH. This foundation starts to wobble a bit with the more characters they add to the cast, the harder it gets to give everyone proper focus, and this is the main reason I’m so opposed to them giving Taylor a bunch of screen time. Anyway, it was a spectacular formula. You’d think they would try to repeat it with the spin-off, right?

Well, they tried…. I guess? Rob Lowe was obviously the centerpiece to frame the show around just like Angela Bassett had been, but he’s definitely not suited to play the role of a cop, and he has a very small handful of similarities with Bobby I guess so let’s make him the fire Captain. Okay there’s our first headliner. We need two more if we’re gonna show police and dispatch, right?

Eh, let’s just get one more, not two. They get Liv Tyler. So she’s gonna be a police officer? No. A dispatcher (which I personally would have loved)? Nope. See, the thing is, in Texas, EMS is a separate crew from firefighters. Unlike in LA where all firefighters are required to be EMTs at the bare minimum and most are also trained paramedics because they make better pay. In Texas the two are separate entities that just happen to share a fire station. So, let’s make Liv Tyler the paramedic captain. And then we’ll cast two little-known actors to play the only named cop and the only named dispatcher.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Carlos and Grace. Their actors are incredible, and when they actually get screen-time, they’re the stars of the show. But the problem is that they’re not headliners. Why would the writers give them much screen-time when it’s Rob Lowe and Liv Tyler’s big names that are pulling in the viewers. So, the focus of the show is almost entirely on the firehouse. To make matters worse, even the other firefighters have a hard time finding any attention in the midst of a Rob Lowe show.

In seasons one (I promise this won’t be spoiler-y), Carlos the sole police officer is best friends with Liv Tyler’s character and so this is the main way they bring him into the story when he’s not responding to police calls or interacting with TK as a love interest. Grace is of course married to the firefighter Judd, so that’s how she is more involved in the plot. Unfortunately, Liv leaves after season 1. Gina Torres comes in as the new paramedic captain, but this presents a huge problem for Carlos in season 2. Now, his only connection to the main story is TK. Gina’s character is best friends with Grace, so that gives Grace some better screen-time, but Carlos is virtually diminished to a love interest rather than an interesting first-responder character in his own right. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to see. I honestly wish they would have brought in another big name to be Carlos’ partner on the job, and then added a secondary dispatcher character with a compelling personality similar to how they added Josh in season 2 of the original show. Anyway, I truly love all the characters on Lonestar (except Rob Lowe and his ex-wife that shows up in season 2), but the writers make it hard to care much about them with the minuscule crumbs they give us outside of anything that is Rob’s giant ego.

I know this is super long, and I’m sorry, but I’ve been ruminating on all these thoughts since season 1 of Lonestar first aired. Anyway, still excited to hear your takes on everything once you get the chance to watch it.

hi, anon!!!! first of all, sorry for the late reply, it took me a while to gather my thoughts and put them down properly, but more importantly thank you so much for remembering to send me this!!! it was a really interesting read, especially for someone like me who 1) has no idea how things in the USA work, and 2) still doesn't know much about how the show came to be

i've never really thought about it, but as far as marketing strategies go, it does actually make a lot of sense to have one big name for each area of first responding to attract the general public and make them interest in all the different storylines, so the moment they decided to bring in only 2 big names for lone star, and not 3, this could definitely have been a factor in the decision of making lone star more rob lowe centric, at least at first (if you have a well known actor in your show, it does kinda feel natural to make him the center of the story)

however, i feel like this choice can be understandable only for the first season, when the viewers don't know the other actors yet, and you can use the big name to make people interested in the show and slowly introduce all the characters so the viewers get invested in them too, slowly giving them more space and screen time

this is why i think the og series did a great job by bringing in JLH, not only because she is JLH, but because they gave maddie a lot of connections (she is buck's sister, she is chimney's love interest) and thanks to her we got to actually see more of the dispatchers and learn to care about other characters (josh, sue, etc.), to the point that now, even if for some reason you took maddie out of the show, the characters she have connections with would still work perfectly fine and have their own story to tell without her

so it's kinda upsetting to me to learn that with liv tyler's character gone, carlos has been pretty much reduced only to love interest, because it means that they didn't really take the time to give him a story of his own, and it sucks, especially when in the original ALL THE CHARACTERS get their moment to shine

okay, sorry, this is getting super long and idk if im making sense, the point is that i do agree with you on the big names, though i also feel like for some reason in lone star there's a reticence to give focus to other characters and after 2 seasons it can't be just 'they don't attract viewers', but of course i can't really give a proper opinion on this until i watch lone star myself, so.. sorry again for the long and messy reply ;;;;;;;;

[intp-tells-it-like-it-is]

i’m pretty sure i’m an INTP (i did extensive research on the cognitive functions and made a lot of self discoveries on the way which was also nice) but i’m not sure if i’m an enneagram 9w8 sp/sx or a 3w4 sp/sx...so i have two questions:

1.) i wanted to ask what it’s like being an INTP 3w4? like what factors makes you different from other INTPs?

for 3, i relate to: puts feelings and emotions aside to get things done, adapts themselves to the expectations of others, fear of rejection, having a habit of cutting off people before because of the fear that they might see how i “really” am and not the “character” i made to present to them, wanting to be affirmed, wanting to feel valuable and worthwhile l, wanting to distinguish my self, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others. i also relate to the fear of failure but only when someone witnesses it. if no one sees it, i would be fine. the childhood of the enneagram 3’s also hit home. i learned to adjust myself to the “reactions and subconscious expectations of my nurturing figure” and “knew which behaviors would produce approving looks and smiles” (quoting from Don Riso’s book).

i think the only reason why i think i’m an enneagram 9w8 is because i’m pretty laidback and easy going, i’m scared of being noticed by the public, i am able to draw boundaries and assert myself (only when needed tho), i go with the flow, and i value my Fe. but i don’t think i really fear of loss or seperation as much as the idea of others seeing me fail

the thing i don’t relate to about enneagram 3 is being super productive. im currently a student and i don’t study all day; in fact, i do the bare minimum of doing homework. and then i go off to study the cognitive functions since that’s what i’m interested atm

2.) if you don’t have perfect grades, don’t study all day, and you don’t put much value on school (but more value on things you’re interested in), does it still make you a enneagram 3?

Hey, thanks for the question!

At the core,

3s fear not being loved simply for who they are and feel compelled to create a persona that is too perfect not to love

9s suppress their anger and deny their own needs and desires in order to accommodate to others and maintain harmony

9s are usually more subdued personalities and 3s typically like to stand out. With an sp variant, a 3 would likely be more fearful of tangible failure and try to accumulate symbols of success. 9 sp types tend to be creatures of habit who like to have comfort in routines and can be physically indulgent.

To answer your productivity question, I think there is a natural tendency to put more effort into things you value (for anyone), but a 3 would likely pretend they were excelling in everything valued by others (or at least act like they don’t care about those things so it doesn’t matter if they suck).

Especially for a 3w4, they might just let people think they are excelling by never addressing the topic outright or trying to show off. For a healthier 3, they would be more honest about their shortcomings, use it to connect with others, and potentially use humor to alleviate some of the tension.

I wouldn’t say I’m super productive all the time. I actually have a tendency to procrastinate and cut corners. The part that aligns with a 3 is the shame of being “lazy” and fear that anyone will know I’m not super productive/amazing at what I’m doing. It’s akin to throwing all of your junk in a closet to make your guests think your house is clean.

Even if you don’t personally value school, I think it would be a bit unusual for a 3 to be totally okay with people knowing you aren’t the best at school and/or not make excuses for why you aren’t better. If you can push past those feelings, it probably took some reflection and practice!

As far as how an INTP 3w4 is different from other INTPs, I think being in the heart triad is pretty unusual. Many INTPs are in the head triad, particularly as 5s because it is about the accumulation of knowledge. I think being a 3w4 makes me more prone to learning just enough to seem knowledgeable about some things because the apparent breadth of knowledge is impressive. A 5 would not settle for a superficial understanding of a topic the way a 3 would, or at least not act like they know more than they do.

I want to note that it’s not uncommon for people to choose a type that feels comfortable, but might not be accurate. The enneagram taps into the most sensitive aspects of yourself, and it can be really uncomfortable to acknowledge those things, especially if one is more acceptable for you to be in your culture. It can be hard to break down those mental barriers. So, I think being unsure can sometimes be more beneficial than being sure about the wrong one. Just stay aware of which ones make you squirm a little.

Extra reading that might help you out:

http://thechangeworks.com/ennprimer/enn9styls2.html#P

http://thechangeworks.com/ennprimer/enn9styls1.html#anchor172482

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

[torivikachu]

I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.

if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT

anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!

also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post

whoa, I am excited about it.

1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up

and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck

2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?

bro, your anxiety shows.

3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell

4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)

5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,

6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.

7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently

8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified

9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more

10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much

11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-

12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home

13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I

and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?

if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?

I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing

the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME

[cowboyjen68]

hey jen, at 22 still i find myself crying and shaking when my family says things like people at mcds shouldnt make a living wage bc “working there is a lazy job” if im not silent. presenting them with facts never helps, they even laugh at me i feel like i know so much awful things about the world and no one around me cares or has empathy for others. how do i cope? how do i accept difference in opinion that feels fundamental to me i.e. having enough money and food to live should be a human right

Sorry for the delay.. but nutty around here with the warmer days. 

When I was 22 I remember feeling flustered with many of my family members and friends on subjects I thought were “no brainers”.  When someone had a differing opinion I was shocked. In my mind.. how could someone support a church that preached hate or why wouldn’t everyone be okay with gay people (I was not yet out) at least being given the right to live their lives safely?  Why would anyone oppose laws to protect farm animals from abuse?  How could anyone be okay with animals being used as test subjects for makeup?

I learned over time that everyone’s experience is different than mine. And by experience i mean life long exposure to ideals that are not true or are ethically sketchy. If certain things are repeated in one’s echo chamber enough they believe it. Once that foundation of untruth is built, eveyr other opinion they hold with be balanced on that. If your foundation is that animals are lesser beings or feel no pain then you can’t see any reason to worry about their well being. 

Minimum wage was never intended to be a “living wage”. It was supposed to prevent employers from paying just “whatever”. It is not the “base line” pay that companies are supposed to use as a starting point. Many employers that it as the most they have to pay when some one starts and take not facts of budgeting life into consideration, or maybe they just don’t care. What was supposed to be the lowest pay allowed has turned into the only pay we offer, allowing giant corporations to pay non living wages and then excusing that away by claiming “teenagers don’t need a living wage” or “retired people just work here for a little fun money”. 

Your family has heard THAT corporate rhetoric over and over and they buy it. They also fear that that 1.00 chicken sandwich will get a huge price increase. In reality just a few cents on every meal item could give each employee a pretty big pay boost. They also believe that brands are “their friends” because that is the advertising message the companies bombard them with. AND it works. I was in market for 25 years... I see how this sh#t is going down. The companies big wigs are banking millions.. but they “take all the risk”. If each corp officer of Mcdonald’s was paid HALF of that they make they would barely notice the bump but that could raise their work force out of poverty. 

Here is the think with money it seems. When you have little you want a little more. When you have a lot, you want a LOT more. 

SO you know all this.. you see the deal and what is going on. They don’t. My advice? Stop trying to change the minds of those who don’t want change. They will only double down on their misinformation. Look at them like children in your mind. As if they just can’t possibly get it. And let them have at their stupidity.

 Change is a long game and you have better ways of spending your energy and time than banging you head on the proverbial brick wall of ignorance. Write to politicians, write to businesses you use and tell them to give raises to their hard working employees. Write an opinion piece for local papers. Use your energy where you can make a difference. Getting Uncle Joe to understand won’t get you far (but you will have a headache) unless he is a CEO or Senator. 

I have learned to avoid those topics that they will never get.. even gay stuff with my brother, and enjoy the time I do spend with them talking about family stuff or their memories or just enjoying a movie. It is okay to leave the hard stuff alone. You will only get stressed and not accomplish much. It is okay to not save the world starting with your family.