#im trying to do actual work here bro | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

burguesinha24 · 1 month ago

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opened my math book and did one whole problem before going back to doomscrolling on this godforsaken website

#killing myself in the near future guys :D #this fucking gap year is annoying as hell with my mom breathing down my fucking neck #i need to woman up and get a fucking job i swear #also fuck you tumblr #and fuck all of these amazing artists and writers #im trying to do actual work here bro #arcane #vi #viktor #jayce

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neon--nightmare · 3 months ago

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forest fire by ajj is SUCH a loveball fresh song to me bro

#NO ENERGY TO GO INTO DETAIL RN I MIGHT LATER IF ANYBODYS INTERESTED BUT!!! ITS A SHORT SONG #^ THIS WAS A LIE HELLO NEW FOLLOWERS FROM GARFIELD IM HERE TO RANT ABT AN EIGHT YEAR OLD PARTIALLY LOST ROLEPLAY VERY FEW PPL EVEN REMEMBER #YEARS IVE BEEN INSANE ABT FRESH- EIGHT AND COUNTIN #LOVEBALL FRESH U ARE SO TRAGIC TO ME FOREVER. thinks abt fresh tryin so so hard not to dwell on pacifrisk even when hes #universes and universes away #sometimes i think abt fresh 2.0 too dude he ties so much of his existence to bein BETTER than fresh. stronger better n in control #but man. he doesnt know bc he was never tested. he hadnt been around for anywhere near as long as fresh how long until he finds his own #version of pacifrisk #knowin if he slips up theres gonna be a fresh 3.0.. and he doesnt care bc he CANT care but fresh was made to be emotionless too #SOOO sooo many thoughts on both their emotionlessness affectin how they both see the world too #freshposting #chat #loveball #like bro imagine for literally all of ur life up to this point the only way u could feel even a shell of what other ppl call happiness is by #doin what u were made for. ur one reason for existin and ur only way for survival which is causin pain and possessing and hurtin people who #ur convinced and know would do the same to u in a heartbeat bc why wouldnt they? thats just how ppl work if theyre smart #and if they dont? if they like u? if they think they can know u or understand u? they think the world can be kind? then theyre stupid #or lyin to try and kill u bc why wouldnt they? theyre all strikes against u when ur every move is bein watched waitin for a tiny slip up so #u can be erased ETC LIKE .. MAN . fesh sands -> 👾🛹#AND ILL ALWAYS BE THE NUMBER 1 PROPONENT THAT HE CAN GET BETTER!!! HE CAN!!! HE CAN HEAL N MAKE FRIENDS N ACTUALLY . LIVE HE JUST DOESNT #*WANT* TO and also with the situation hes currently in makin it a billion times harder #the one loveball line abt him sayin hes not even ‘LUCKY’ enough to be a human or monster and have the lives they do makes me into the joker #INCOHERENT BUT IM SENDIN IT ANYWAYS BRO HIT POST!!!!! fresh u will always be famous and so so so tragic to me #he doesnt believe that he deserves a chance and sees that as objective truth LIKE OUH. in hindsight this could have been a post but

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lemongogo · 6 months ago

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j need to get back into life drawing post haste

#i think im losing . construction in my art #im forgetting how to draw bodies think. idk #literlaly so annoying . its like fun when u get the hang of things but then u neglect one aspect in pursuit of another #and then have to go back and touch up that old skill to try and balance jt and theres that brief period where #eveyrthing is harmonious and then it outpaces itself again and becomes ths juggling act #overall i enjoy it . the drawing sessions but smtimes finding the will 2 get out of bed is like pulling teeth #bc i know im never going 2 walk out of there feeling satisfied but . actually idc #a lot of my pals . my friends there r a couple of decades older than me and they have the best advice tbh #randy. and donna . randy and donna and third guy whose name i forget . -> if u r satisfied at the end of a session did u rly learn anything #always want 2 improve . right right #UARHGHQHHH ill do it ill go . im scared bc i feel like it tends to artblock me #bc i start getting in my head ab what i know/see vs what i can only draw #but im sooo addicted 2 wanting to get better . i want to draw like a million people i see on here who have that great construction and #weight and anatomy and dynamism . i want to be like u . ill work to be like u ill try #and i feel like ive negelcted my basics for soo long .. i need to get ths foam shapes and a lamp . NOWWWW #yotasuke #i miss yotasuke so much.damn. thats crazy . anyways #the way he points out that yatoras dedication/hard work is a talent . like ueah . i agree w him im envious of that r u kidding me #and ytora walkimg arnd like oh u have it so easy ytsk. he needs to shut the hell up smtimes #i meed to see them eviscerate each other blood and all.#spongebob icecream truck- not that yatoras hard work isnt Also a skill but ykwim . if youve read YKWIMM #bc he was always like woe is me im soo untalented and its like no bro u r you just manifest it differently . that natural drive is a talent #but that natural drive also takes skill to foster and nurture else it has no purpose .#no i cant be blp posting in the tags bye

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turtlespancake · 7 months ago

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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU

#rambling #surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING #“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything #but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over #“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS #“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them #they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering #“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL #but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE #is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act #is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too #actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back #had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard #i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out #sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently

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bibleofficial · 4 months ago

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it needs to become acceptable to end emails w ‘please kill yourself. thank you, [name]’

#stream #ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA #the way i’m going to kill my utilities provider #QUIT CHARGING ME FOR THE FUCKING BUILDING IM IN 1 FLAT !!!!!!!!!!#I DONT EVEN HAVE GAS IN HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!#ITS 26 SQUARE METERS !!!!!!!! 270 SQUARE FEET !!!!!!!!!!! TOTAL !!!!!!!!!!!! IM NOT SPENDING 268£ IN ELECTIRICTY AND GAS A MONTH !!!!!!!!!!#I DONT EVEN HAVE FUCKING GAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#EVRRYTHING IS ELECTRIC WHY ARE U BILLING ME FOR THIS SHIT !!!!!!!!!!! KILL YOURSELF !!!!!!!!!!!!#‘we can’t see what we charge u exactly but be advised that there are cancelation fees’ like ok ? girl i literally just pulled the cash from #the bank account associated like ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA #KEEP SENDING THOSE BILLS THEY AINT BEIN PAYED BY ME #IVE PAYED YALL LIKE 13 MONTHS WORTH ALREADY YALL CAN KILL YOURSELVES #FUCKING 550 QUID IN 2 MONTHS TF I SHOULD ACTUALLY BE PAYING LIKE 60£ TOTAL MAX A MONTH BRO ???????????#like do they rly think i’m just going to continue paying that #‘u SiGnEd ThE cOnTrAcT’ & U QUOTED ME THE WRONG FUCKING NUMBER U CHARGING ME FOR A HOUSE IM IN A FLAT SO CONTRACT VOID DUMBASS #THE FIRST EMAIL U SENT SAID I WAS PAYIN GAS & WATER & I CORRECTED U & U AGREED THEN SAY ‘u can’t cancel’ like #making me laugh but ur doin my head in #like the way the electricity is set up here w this scumbag landlord they could just cut electricity to this flat & id still have working #electricity ALSKALSKAKKSKKSLAKALAKSLAKA #like ……..#i’m willing to pay bc i’m trying to live like a legal resident #but i’m just #not #like i even said ‘if u can’t cut electricity from my bill from now on without voiding the contract then void the contract & take the #cancellation fee from the extortionate amount i’ve alrdy payed #they haven’t responded so they’ll respond tomorrow #iF THEY KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR EM LMFAO #i can’t wait for the email to come saying ‘we tried to bill u but it didn’t go through :(‘ like #it’s bc i’m not paying u i even said ‘not one pence more will be sent to yall until this is sorted’ like ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLA TRY IT

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terrorbirb · 6 months ago

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I'm now doing a perfect job at work :) senior engineers found no problems with my work :) I know this was only two projects, but this has been my goal for 3-4 months and I'm finally there.

#totes bro #i need a generic tag for my disclaimer #but this is for me when i go back through my blog in the future #i used to 'blog' more but this is fun to see 3 years from now #disclaimer over #granted he isnt really trying but im doing better than a guy thats been here 18 years #im right now the most reliable engineer 1 :)#which means I get more projects and harder projects which i normally dont like #i like to be able to do nothing #but theyre fun when theyre hard #and.....im actually happy to go to work because its enjoyable #which is good that im on good terms with everyone and dont get annoyed #because im here for the next 25 years #i do everything with an understanding that im setting up my next 25 years so dont makr this stressful #the reason being if im here that long i get pension #so essentially double social security when i retire #+ a very good matched retirement account #work for the government. you make less now but i go home at 4:30 #benefits are great

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago

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...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated

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ruler-of-the-universe-boy · 2 years ago

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Me when im planning something big but it has this guy

#samgladiator #yhs sam #yandere high school #yandere highschool #yhs #when you delay the Yhs Reanimated project for around a year #how? idk #im lying yes i do i get procrastinated so hard that once i finally get back into it the project dreads in #i have a problem but have no way of solving it so im very sorry to the people who actually did their part I should’ve put a big red sign #saying ‘this will take years but not for you but for me’#but i have gotten things together i just need. to do them.#im not the best person to do this stuff #yall don’t understand how many project ideas i have chilling in the corner but i keep making new ones #like fun fact i keep all my comic ideas in a doc and the list somehow keeps getting longer. then i have a lot of animation/animatic ideas #bro cant leave the yhs fandom till they do everything they planned so im staying here till its 20th anniversary/hj #this was about the yhs reanimated.. back to that so yeah im trying very hard to do work on it because i gotta do a lot of the parts

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orcelito · 2 years ago

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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section

after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol

#speculation nation #itnl shit #spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol #not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably #ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him #but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm #before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it #which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier #the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries #this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan #just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works #but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is #even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted #his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well #i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight #but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable #and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic #well that's just the reality he's gotta live #anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go

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milo-is-rambling · 11 months ago

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I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn

#need to talk to anyone irl who isn’t related to me or dating my mom or my therapist #anyone else near me please I’m losing my mind #nature isn’t healing me sleeping in a fully dark room all day isn’t healing me how do I magically fix this without having to put any work #into it oh I can’t oh u have to do the work okay how do I do that. therapy once a week. oh. okay. yup.#can I speedrun it? oh no? I can’t. oh damn. okay fine whatever. therapy once a week. AND I HAVE TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND DO WHAT SHE SAYS. bro #what the hell okay fine #well here I am !!!!! where is the fixing where is the feeling better I feel like all I do is stir up all these touch emotions from every #part of my life at once and then she sends me off to rot for week before I come back and talk again #I just feel like I’m losing it!!!!! and ik it’s extra bad bc birthday countdown is on in my brain and im stressed and i feel like a huge #fuck up that can never be fixed and like I will die having done nothing with my life except weigh other people down and so exhausting and my #brain won’t ever shut up like yes I get it years and years and years of built up shit that I never properly dealt with and still hold blame #for constantly and I feel like I will never be fixed like I CANT be fixed like this is a losing battle and I just am struggling today man #idk what I was saying I just took my morning weed hit to try and relax my back a little and now my brain is like scrambled eggs #which is good that means it’s working #I’m gonna try to take a nap maybe cause I only slept four hours and it was like choppy thru the night and then maybe I’ll go to the lake #later I’ve been feeling the need to be in a body of water recently

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tamaharu · 1 year ago

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a sumi haircut variation ive been testing out. i wanna say its a bit post-canon, not too far off, maybe a year or so. hasnt quite figured out what to do with herself yet, but shes getting there. only a little ways away from graduation.

#the clock chimes at midnight #selk.art #okay because im going stir crazy in my beautiful mind here. i forgot where everyone in the royal ending went so ive just kinda been doing a #post canon au based entirely arnd sumire and the only person whos really gone is ren. the others are in school and stuff still lol #ANYWAYS she and ren start dating a few weeks before 2/3 and after they restore the world its a very tumultuous start considering ren #immediately gets sent to jail. even after he gets out theyre both grieving akechi + it feels like theyre just going through the motions.#everyones like omg we could tell this was gonna happen! and it makes them uncomfortable for reasons they cant articulate #ren is using sumire to get over akechi + sumire is modeling rens identity + both see akechi in the other and are sad abt it #on top of all that they get into a huge fight when sumire learns rens leaving in like. a month. and she didnt know.#(he genuinely didnt realize she didnt know but gets bitchy in return)#they try to make it work long distance for a month/two but eventually mutually breakup (both a little bitter but agree to remain friends)#overall its a cute relationship with um . very odd undertones.#anyways she still wears her hair straight up or straight down during all that point. HAHAHA remember this is abt hair!#after ren leaves she latches onto ann + ryuji who are still going to school w her. and after the breakup simply bc #ryuji is a Boy and sumire is a Girl and They Enjoy Being Around Each Other they both reflexively think abt getting together #sumire starts to imitate him (bc for some weird reason she keeps wanting to be like boys!) and ryuji is like am i breaking bro code rn..#nothing ever happens bc neither actually wants to date the other and ann is always hanging around but its an odd time for everyone #she bleaches the tips of her hair for a little bit but its so small when she gets it chopped off its like nothing happened lol #this is probably around third year when ann/ryuji have graduated and the only thief around is futaba.#and. please nobody kill me for this. i think the two have interesting thematic similarities but the ship between them has always felt like #pairing the same-age spares to me. and i havent read anything thats convinced me of its full potential yet.#that to say i think theyre friendly but not super close. so sumire has to learn to just. exist by herself for the first time in years.#like i said this is probably when this actual haircut starts getting used. shes figuring it out!#after she graduates shes the first one to find akechi again and theyre both doing a lot better and become very close.#they move in together! platonically! unless...? but thats not the point! akechi helps her realize shes transmasc at which point she gets a #real short haircut. i cant decide. theres one thats like a curly haired bob almost and one thats shorter + looks kinda windswept #and thats all the haircut hcs i have for her postcanon timeline! spreads hands jazz hands. not all the timeline hcs but my thumbs r tired.

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fxckinemo · 16 days ago

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ughh i wish i didn't need money so much rn i wanna go home and lay with my dogggg

#i don't feel well and i got stuck recovering toys i want to Leaveee #the only thing keeping me here is the fact that rent is due this week #i feel like shittt and its not blood sugar bc i ate before i left #i want my doggy :(((#if my rent was cheaper I'd have called out tbh im so lightheaded #at least technically what im doing today isn't like heavy work #the only part that's actually difficult is trying not to overflow my cart with stuff that's in the wrong section #and dodging peoples kids who have no concept of personal space #eventually im going to trip over a child i can feel it #like i get they're all covid babies who literally didn't get to leave the house but it's not too late to teach them not to stand so close #i mean im glad im not threatening to children but bro. your child is literally standing so close behind me I can't move without pushing them

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brainrotzora · 5 months ago

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recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.

#ffxivposting #suicide mention #I GUESS. SORRY #made this account 90% so i could livepost this game better.#moving off my priv twitter to here bc literally only my irl has access and i know he doesnt gaf. i love u bro<3 #and im actually going to die going thru this alone to be honest chat. help #just gave my wol a haircut btw :) working on a new fit also hehehe. she's my favorite.#she doesnt have a name because i put a stupid ass placeholder name because i started playing with my Real Life Family. but shes so cutiepie #keep taking screenshots whenever she looks cute in a cutscene which is often. lovely #btw. im aware t.hancred isnt a gayboy. he's a womanizer. which is kind of a gay thing to be. also stuff did happen to him in arr #and he gets pouty about it sometimes which is funny. rip to this guy. but youknow. lol #like if you think about it it's like man that really blows for you huh? but i cant get a good gauge on how much HE thinks about it. hes too #busy w/ his scorned lovers et cetera. as things go.#where im at now is uh. let me check the msq quest list. somewhere around lvl51 msq. chat i miss flying So Bad i am so slow.#by the way i do know the race names. for the record. that guy is a gay ass Elezen(tm).#also im not trying to bully u.rianger(?spelt like that right?) he's nice. his voice IS funny though.#i have not skipped any of this story. even the parts that sucked total ass and shit. my working knowledge is. Okay.#the patch quests were sooooo rough at the start but at least near the end they started ramping up and i got dragged in.#got to yell at npcs bc they were pissing me off so bad near the end there. quite a fun time.#also starting hw story stuff is really funny when youve been playing drg. like hey! i know you!#also ive been saying his name as 'estinen' the whole time wdym it's 'e.stinien'. i hope he never takes off that helmet btw #anyway. i cannot fucking draw my wol. at all. need to get better refpics later i guess.#speaking of. i am not googling any of these guys to draw them because i dont feel like getting spoiled.#yet another L im taking.my stupid baka life. as they say.#you cant hold anything im saying against me here it's almost midnight. fuck i have class tmrw. what ever #ANYWAY. all that to say. i need to talk to someone abt this shit to be honest.#shrug.

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kalashtars · 10 months ago

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venting in the tags yippeee

#damien.txt #gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan #uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that #soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns #neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here #and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways #i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me #as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc #and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it #and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever #bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like #hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it #is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it #and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that #and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck #and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol #AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor #lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️

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yourlocalabomination · 11 months ago

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HI I NEED EVERYBODY TO LOOK AT THIS RN

Uhhh... What do you MEAN that I'm taking headcannons from other fanartists?

.... Sorry, you're right. @yourlocalabomination's "Taking whats not yours" - Jennybear post made me sooo normal. So uh........

COLLEGE!JENNYBEAR! BUT THEY ARE STUPID WITH BAGGY PANTS CAUSE. ITS THE 2000'S, and I was born in 2006 and all i remember wearing then was pink leggings and a sparkly shirt- as wal mart might have. you know you know.. AND I HAVE NO SENSE IN FASHION, BUT these radical, nerdy, edible taking sweethearts are special to me.

And you cant tell me that ted never put on a fake. Like... Personality to seem SOOOO much cooler than he actually was. He was impressing no-one from left to right. And looked like such a loser but Jenny always was like. "Oh, yeah. You looked SO cool Dwdw." and ted knows shes just joking around, but hes still like "ikr B)"

Anyways, jenny gets rollerskates, ted gets a skateboard, and they have matching piercings, and jenny has a necklace and she paints their nails, but ted totally pickes at it subconsciously, and jenny tried taking him rollerskating once, and he was good at it. But when he got older he totally forgot how, and if he tries skating, he'd look like a cool. And I think that's a good thing, cause jenny would love to see him fall and try again.

And I think about them alot............

#reblog #others art #BRO IM DRUNK AF IN A CLUB TOILET RN AND IM BEING TAGGED IN BEAUTIFUL ART WTF #AHHHHHHHHHHH #HELLO????#I LOVE THIS SM THANK YOU!!!#the isn’t the first time I have influenced someone’s Ted art but I’m outstaned everytime #MY STUPID SKATER TEDDY HC MADE ITS WAY INTO SOEMOENS ELSES ART WHAT THE FUCK??? Bro that occurred cos I love bestie boys 😭#ROLLER SKATER JENNY!!!! I personally HC that she worked at the old roller skate derby in seen in yellowjackets before it shut down #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM TRUST ME #the matching piercings wtf 😭#(fun fact: I currently have 26 piercings) so the way I draw them they have 4 piercings (2 earlobes each side)#and I HC that they got them while drunk af. no reputable piercer that you should trust will pierce you more then 3 times in a session.#however a reputable piercer would not pierce 2 obviously pissed high schoolers #MY STUPIC HCS MADE ITS WAY INTO ANOTHER PEROSN ARR WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK #ALSO I DO INDEED HC THAT TED NEEDS GLASSES & WEARS CONTATCS BECAUSE HE THINKS GLASSES ARE LAME #he’s just like me fr fr (I don’t wear my glasses at home and only wear them when I’m going out but iv swagged them out with piercing chains)#I would say I’m normal but I would probs react the same way while sober #op I think I’m in love with you #fun fact: that one animatic had half a million views on tiktok rn 💀 I never expected it to escaped the Starkid fandom #I’m 100% going to cringe at these tags when I’m sober but I coudnt leave this acknowledged #how the fuck am I suppose to return to my friends in the dance floor bro 😭 I just wanna stare at this art #op if you notice that’s it’s taken me forever it reblog this please dw I’m drunk and trying to avoid spelling mistakes #I also know iv made multiple #edit: hello it’s sober Abomy here. I am indeed just as insane over this as I was last night.#I will in fact be staring at this artwork all day so thank you op ❤️#I also don’t rember typing half of those out 😭 there’s less spelling mistakes then I expected tho #ted spankoffski #jenny starkid #starkid

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noodlemoondle · 21 days ago

Text

You Always Come First

(No matter how upset I am)

Zayne x Reader

summary: you and zayne have a small spat over you neglecting your health. as a result of it, you decide to sleep on the couch, not wanting to bother/upset him even further. randomly waking up in the night, you notice you’re no longer alone on the couch and do everything you can to get the doctor back in bed before he’s sore for his shift tomorrow.

tags: not proofread!, hurt/comfort? (i didn’t rlly include the hurt part of it so im not too sure), fluff, literal sleeping together, caring n sweet zayne (when is he not), self indulgent per usual

a/n: bro tumblr is REALLY testing my patience. why is it so dumb with everything i try to post. it’s literally why i haven’t posted a fic in a while. i can’t take this much longer i may crash out soon. anyway, as always hope u enjoy! (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎)

side tangent: i actually have been so obsessed with caleb. it’s actually a problem. i have been loyal to zayne this entire time and i’ve been playing since release, but caleb is REALLY testing it. lord i’m a sucker for the protective n caring childhood friends to lovers trope (¯―¯٥) (id expect a caleb fic soon tbh if tumblr wants to stop hating me and making my life so difficult)

the fight was stupid. you were neglecting your health once again not taking your medicine, not resting, and ignoring doctors specific orders. zayne often could never say no to you, he always spoiled you and gave into any of your requests. the only time he was stern and stubborn was when it involved your health, that he doesn’t and will never budge on. you often lacked care for your health, pushing it to the back burners of your mind and often calling zayne dramatic saying “you knew yourself and your limits”. something zayne wasn’t particularly fond of. he confronted you about your recent negligence of your health and both of your stubbornness in your beliefs led to an argument.

it’s been an hour or 2 since it ended though. zayne left to your shared bedroom, most likely to do some work, while you stayed out in the living area, trying to distract yourself from the anger turning to sadness and guilt in your heart. you ended up deciding to just sleep on the couch tonight not wanting to bother him after an argument. you grabbed an extra pillow and thin blanket from a nearby closet and put on a random show so you wouldn’t have to fall asleep listening to your own thoughts. soon enough you were able to relax and fall into a slumber.

you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. you hear the tv still on as you slowly wake and become aware of your surroundings. once you can see clearly, that’s when you realize you were laying on top of zayne previously using his chest as a pillow unbeknownst to you. he has been peacefully sleeping on the couch with you for who knows how long. as you sat up in a panic you also notice a thicker, softer blanket, one you have preference for, falling off of your shoulders. instantly guilt is washed over you as you look at zayne, who is a somewhat light sleeper, somehow still deep in his sleep. you swallow quickly as you build confidence to wake him up.

you lean closer to his face which was awkwardly propped up by the couch’s arm rest, a position that you couldn’t imagine to be anywhere near comfortable. you lightly tap his shoulder and call his name trying to wake him up. soon enough he does, opening his eyes to see you staring back at him, the faintest smile appears on his face at the sight, almost forgetting of the spat you two shared earlier. before he could even say anything you scold him:

“why are you here? i was sleeping on the couch tonight. you have work early in the morning go back to bed and go to sleep.”

“couldn’t have you sore in the morning” he answers calmly releasing a small yawn in the process.

“neither can you! you have a long shift starting early tomorrow. i’ll be fine just go back to bed.” you quickly rebutted trying to push him off the couch, something that you didn’t have the strength to do, but nevertheless you persisted.

“i can get through a shift with an achy neck, however you can not.” he replies as he softly grabs your hands that are trying to shove him away back to bed.

“i know i’ll be fine. i’ll live to see another day. now go back to bed already!” you say. your voice getting louder as you’re starting to get frustrated trying to break out of his soft grasp.

“will you be joining me?” he asks softly not letting go of your wrists that keep trying to fight against him.

“no, i’m sleeping on the couch!” your voice raising above the tv still playing in the back illuminating the room.

“then it seems like i shall too” he states as he frees your wrists and pushes you back onto his chest, laying the blanket over you both.

before you can even think of a response zayne wraps his arms around your torso and closes his eyes to fall asleep once again, to which you quickly flick his chest to wake him back up. he opens his eyes again and looks down at you with an unamused expression.

“why won’t you just let me sleep here alone?” you ask in a tone he can’t quite place, nevertheless he can hear the slight amount sorrow that came along with it.

“i already told you, i can’t have you go into work tomorrow with a sore neck and back.” he says closing his eyes again despite your wishes against it.

“if you don’t wish to be with me tonight then i’ll sleep on the couch and you can take the bed” he continues. his arms involuntarily tighten ever so slightly around you showing how much he doesn’t want that.

“but i also told you!!! you can’t sleep on the couch, you have a few surgeries to complete, and you have to be in your best shape to do so.” you try to push up against his arms wrapped around you, another pointless action.

zayne sighs and opens his eyes again to look at you before speaking.

“well then you have two options. one, we both move over to the bed to sleep. or two, i sleep here and you sleep over in the room. my job isn’t physically taxing compared to yours, im not allowing you to go in if you don’t have a proper rest.”

he looks tired. you study his features before you respond to him. taking a moment to look at the eyebags under his eyes and a slight frustration growing in his face from this back and forth.

you sigh before answering “then to the bed we go”

a soft smile appears on zaynes face as he begins to get up. his neck slightly sore, but he wouldn’t reveal that to you. although it’s against your wishes, he lifts you up having you hold the blanket and pillow as he carries you back to bed.

he sets you down on your side of the bed, thinking you won’t necessarily want to be close with him tonight. not before tucking you in and kissing the top of your head whispering his love and goodnight wishes. as he gets into bed you turn to face him. once he fully lays down you scootch closer to him and grab onto the hem of his shirt. he instantly understands what you want and pulls you towards him, pressing you to his side as he wraps his arms around you.

he kisses your forehead once more and whispers

“we will continue our discussion after work tomorrow. goodnight, i love you.”

too tired to argue with him anymore you just nod your head against him replying quietly mouth squished against him making your words barely audible.

“goodnight, love you too”

#lnds #lnds x reader #love and deepspace #zayne x reader #zayne x you #zayne fluff #lnds zayne #l&ds zayne #lads zayne #dr zayne #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x mc #doctor zayne #lnds fluff #lnds mc #l&ds x you #l&ds x reader #l&ds

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