#im trying so so hard to be happy
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hi look at these cute earrings instead of my tags <3
#i got them at micheals !#you can stoo reading now okay bye#AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#*deep breaths*#struggling! i have too much love in my heart and it hurts#i want so desperately to be happy for everyone!#im trying so so hard to be happy#i spent enough time complaining#i cant just sit in my closet and worry everyone#they cant worry about me#I Am Fine and thats what they will think and thats fine#if they are happy i am happy#ill just think about them all the time when theyre gone#and open dms over and over again#without sending anything#because i see the last two messages were mine#and i feel so goddamn annoying#why am i fucking LIKE THIS#i SHOULD be happy for them#its not their fault that preston was making me so horribly depressed that it broke our relationship#thats not her fault!#its not either of their faults#but god everyday my chest aches#i feel like ive been shot#fully hit with the understanding of what ive lost#and that nothibg will ever fix it#i shohkd be happy#but i just miss them every day#i feel so alone without them#god im so sorry
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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Introducing! ELESA, the new kid on the block! She's a tiny bedraggled child from Sinnoh and not all that familiar with Galarian, the spoken language in Unova. (One day she'll be amazing. Right now though, she just wants to go play in the mud. And maybe get a better set of hearing aids.)
When not bitterly lonely, she’s scheming to run back to her old home. Or chasing the local patrat. Or watching nervously from the sidelines as other children play on the swings. Oh elesa. (loosely inspired by @/noxstrages' incredible comics about elesa's origins! Ty for the food.)
Masterpost to my submas comics!
#art#pokemon#sketchbook#submas#myart#fanart#gym leader elesa#blitzle#nimbasa trio#elesa#character design#baby elesa is a nightmare to work with but im happy with this draft!#her clothes are supposed to be more sinnoh fashioned#and with time she slowly integrates more and more unovan clothing inspiration into her work#one day she's going to realize everything she works on is entirely unovan. and it's gonna hurt.#(i feel like part of her modeling and costume designing stuff in the future would be her trying to reclaim some of that history)#((but also the inherent tragedy of forgetting kantonese because she tries so hard to integrate into unova makes me feel things))#(((only projecting on elesa a bit. i promise)))
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comic about v2 and the goal they'll never fully reach alongside a dissatisfying conclusion. intimate rivalry and all (alternative ending comic. V1 dies instead of V2 during 4-4. V2 is narrating. V1 is dead.)
#high of victory drops to an overwhelming crushing feeling of what comes next now that youre done#if it wasnt clear v2 is trying very hard to put v1 back together after it kills them. very very poorly. weight of your actions hits#v2#v1#ultrakill#v4v#heavy implied at the very least. see as you will#i realize now that the writing is very disconnected and so are the drawings but bear with me here. do you see my vision#theres something going on between these two that is beautiful but also extremely codependent#at least on v2s end#tried to do those two descriptive pages in a way where it went like. 2 - 3 small details about v1. and then something very specific. some-#-thing theyd only know if they paid close attention to how the other acted or looked#took me a few days to put together and im pretty happy with it i think#feel free to dub or do whatever as long as you gimme credit where credits due#there are many ways to interpret v2 and this is one of them#gen art
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i imagine it's quite chilly in the black sea (for the lack of sun and color), so they're wearing slightly warmer clothes now uwu
+ thoughts
#i was meaning to only draw jay to try and figure out a design for her *once more*#but i was super happy with the first one i did so i drew the boys in slightly changed outfits instead#also yeah im VERY pleased with this outfit for jay. the colors look sooo good and exactly like i imagine them to look#the pants are not straight up green but they have this green ish hue to them that adds a lot i think#quite happy with chip's and gill's outfits too they're very sexy and cool hehe#gill in the turtleneck with short sleeves-- so good. and i gave him a haramaki!!!!!!!!!!! hell yeah the one piece fan in me is happy#and chip in the high waisted pants and these boots-- brooooo. slaying so hard. and he's wearing a proper shirt which is rare#also. there's a lot of typos in the explanations probably. um. yeah. not always looking at what i write#edit: forgot the actual tags whoops#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch
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Yay!!! WE DID IT!!!
#svsss#shang qinghua#scum villian self saving system#scum villains self saving system#scum villain#sqh#the emotion here is 'yay i did this thing that was really hard and im happy its done but it was incredibly frustrating i need to scream'#He's trying so#so hard#bUT YAY FRIDAY!!!!!#my art#nibbelraz
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JISOO 𓆩♡𓆪 95.01.03
#jisoo#idolady#kgoddesses#ggnet#ksoloists#femaleidol#femadolsedit#femaleidolsedit#blackpink#kim jisoo#blackpink jisoo#bp#jisoo edits#bp edits#blackpinkedit#bp jisoo#**edits#HAPPY BIRTHDAY JISOO#ahhh I can’t believe it’s her bday already#(edits are kinda meh im so sorry t-t)#first time trying to make some moving gfx why is it lowkey hard but fun
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Managed to sketch some more grian of the crowley variety while watching
have the guy
#grian#isdoodles#the guy ever im trying so hard to get crowleys body language it is a STRUGGLE LMAO#happy halloween again bonus doodle!! :3#trafficblr#hermitblr#hermit gomens
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It's done! Triumvirate animated wanted posters heehee love me some multiverse-level-threat silly guys,, click here to see the posters in english
overlords au belongs to @aeli-tan-art !
#flashing cw#this was very fun to make i think it looks a bit cluttered but still very very fun#BILL WAS SO HARD OUGH#still tho i'm happy with it#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#gravity falls au#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#overlords au#video#i made the english version first but this looked cooler dhdjhgjdssd#my art#i have a free month of canva pro AND YOU CAN BET IM GONNA USE IT#also if anyone is gonna try translating the bottom part dont bother its just basically science mumbo jumbo
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I still think about them daily btw. Just so you guys know
#you dont even understood ok#i forgot how colors work while trying to finish this#had a mini breakdown and didnt touch it for a week#and then before that i had it sitting as a sketch for like a month#finally decided i need to finish it. i think im happy with the final colors but dont talk to me about it#listen i love colors its my favorite part of drawing but why is it so hard#mispelled draws#misp draws#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads fanart#dndads s2#hermie unworthy#hermie the unworthy#oakworthy#normal oak#normal oak swallows garcia#normally oak swallows garcia#this is classic oakworthy btw. you can tell bc hermies got his scars and such and norm doesnt
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orpheus and thanatos 💚
#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#lizzy does art#HIII EVERYONE :3 happy halloween.... (has been working on this for four weeks off and on)#i've always yearned to see art of ryoji and minato based on thanatos and orpheus!!!#i know that ryoji can be likened to being the eurydice figure which i agree with but I HAVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABT THEM LIKE THIS OK.#it was nice to give drawing something more ambitious (for my standards) an earnest try again! i love working with lineless and lighting#and working on this has inspired me to HOPEFULLY start doing some studies of sorts! i want to learn so many things...#all so that i can make ryomina as epic as possible...#also LET ME TELL YOU that thanatos coffins are making me realize i seriously need to do drawabox or something.#trying to put them in perspective is hard... but im pretty happy with what i made!!!#also can i just say i love how shapely orpheus is?? i love orpheus joints etc etc its so nice. very fresh#sighs longingly. i love them very much they make me want to do better at things. i hope everyone has a wonderful week ahead! 💙#very excited to see what people do for ryomina week (<- they haven't made anything 4 it yet bc Busy... but i'll submit smthn late maybe)
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TRASH 🚮 Speedpaint | Alt under cut:
#artists on tumblr#illustration#original character#ibblescribbles#ibbleoc#ibbleoc_ai#guess i should change his character tag to that#thats his name!!!!!!#watch the speedpaint if only for the music pls i love the music selection#ummm i feel like i had more to say#i worked hard on this piece#lowkey afraid it will flop bc its oc art but also oh well im still happy with it#i got the internal validation and dopamine hit out of it already#i hope people come to love and have interest in my ocs tho#i just gotta draw them 1 billion times#this was very self indulgent#i like blood#i like tears#i like uhmmmm i like shoes#oh yeah ig i should put cw's#tw blood#tw bullying#tw cigarettes#all i can think of but lmk if you need another tw? i will try my best to remember when i srb but heads up i can forget sometimes#so if illustrated content like this bothers you; you may want to unfollow!
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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the dbh brainrot has been hitting hard & i have nothing else i can do rn so have a quick rk1k sketch ;)))
#dbh#detroit become human#dbh connor#dbh markus#dbh fanart#digital art#sketch#rk1k#rk1000#to be clear i like north and i do like her and markus but at the same time#multishipper brain go brrrrrr#jericho is just one big polycule \hj#might fix this up more and properly polish it in the future#but for now im just happy with myself for having drawn this :)#also ive been struggling hard with 3/4 perspective so im decently happy with how markus turned out#also is it noticeable ive actually put time into studying connor's face structure and have drawn him before vs just looking up#a quick reference for markus xD#also i did not look up how exactly the skinless hands looked because i didnt wanna go down the research rabbit hole#like research can be fun but at the same time if ur trying to get something done it can just ruin ur drive
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AHHH A TOTAL OF 50 SM HOURS IT'S DONE 🐡
I'm a bit late but like genuinely the last song made me bawl for hours, it means so much to me be represented, I barely see anything actually portraying bipolar, ocd, osdd, (lots of D's hehe) autism, pots yk all the crazy stuff I got and even if they are it's in an negative light, where they end up miserable forever or they'll some horrible person
Forgive me for the yap 🙏
( thank you on notes + reblogs on the sketch, made a grown man cry tears of joy fr)
#the post traumatic manifesto#tptm fanart#nurse parallel#nurse parallel tptm#post traumatic manifesto#weevildoing#machine girl#sorry im so slow chronic illness really does have some hands#also if the colors are fucked it's bc i use the eye filter thing on my phone at max it's all orange to me#yapping#i wish i knew this series sooner i love it#i thought being disabled meant i could never work hard or achieve a goal and when i found faineant girl in my YouTube recs one day i cried#thank you for making art and putting it out there you really helped my mindset on life#WE APPRECIATING BOTH THE GOOD AND BAD OF LIFE THIS WITH ONE!#oh and#happy new yuri#also im trying to use those blinkie thing i have HUNDREDS of ones saved that ive been collecting for years#never used any of them#new year more bullshit
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all good?
if ur referring to the art block/being frustrated w my art donot worry its natural to happen 🫡 doing studies made me feel much better and so did talkng to my friends
#trust this happens like once a month or so it was just BAD the other day#growing up in the hater era means every so oftwn i look at my work as if i were someone who despised me#like 'how does the hypothetical person dedicated to hating me see my art' and it makes me feel like my art is so pointless and meaningless#because i draw a lot of what i draw for fun!!! if someone were trying to justify its 'right' to exist theres very little that Does#beyond just. i love to make art. it makes me happy. i like to share it becayse it makes other people happy#but when i start feeling that way instwad of wallowing i just drill sgt my self and learn something new#because i cant feel useless if im growing#i can feel BAD but usually learning stuff and doing things that are deliberately hard for me makes me feel better
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