#im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 11 months ago
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Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?
#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want#when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving#and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)'#so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will#both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this#im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen#i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me#i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together)#everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking#because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore#so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit#last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said#'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me'#and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august#im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will#its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not#after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig#i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral#i wonder if any of them would come to mine
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paper-mario-wiki · 10 months ago
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you do such a good job passing! any tips?
thank you, i appreciate that! i dont have a ton of tips since ive only been at it for a little over half a year, and im kinda flying by the seat of my pants cuz i dont have a lot of people i talk to day-to-day about presentation. pretty much everything ive figured out by myself and with youtube tutorials. regardless, heres a few i can think of:
don't be afraid to go to a makeup store and ask for advice. i brought a picture of myself i put through faceapp to give me makeup, and i showed it to the ladies at sephora, who were able to get me exactly what i was looking for. theres a world of difference between a face full of makeup, and a face full of makeup that's slightly the wrong shade, and it's good to get the opinions of experts.
try to look at the other women in your family and see how they style themselves, or do their makeup, or even how they speak or carry themselves. finding a look that works isn't somethin that you can fall into super easily, you have to go searching for it. try to model yours after the people who literally share your genes and therefore your features. (note, the opposite is equally usable for transmascs, look at your brothers, fathers, and uncles)
spend time in the mirror seeing what looks right. comb your hair in different directions, part it in a different place, put a clip in, dye it a different color, etc. put on makeup and then take it all off, then put on way too much and only take half of it off. learn the muscle memory of holding a liquid eyeliner pen in your non dominant hand and tracing it across the eyelid on the opposite side of your face without twitching your eye. nobody will see you, you're in your own bathroom. with the resources you have, treat the Bathroom Fit Check like you're customizing a character in a videogame.
look for your angles! i wish i could look good at every angle, but i don't, and vanishingly few people actually do. i spent a lot of time looking at myself in my front-facing phone camera from different directions and thinking "fuck im never going to pass, i really dont look great. is this even worth it?" and no matter how much doubt i had, in the long run the answer ended up being yes, it is worth it. that's kinda how hard things are: they suck until they don't anymore.
this one is really simple and may not apply to you, but fix your posture. seriously. when i started standing up straight for a few weeks i noticed an change in how i looked and carried myself (and my back doesnt hurt as much now)
come to terms with the fact that a lot of women look like men, and a lot of men look like women. the idea that all men look one way and all women look the other is an propagandstic invention of the state that should not be taken seriously. (note: this tip works only inwardly as a facet of self actualization. no matter what, you will always run into people who buy into the propaganda. to the best of your ability, pay them no mind.)
im sorry i cant give you anything more, but thats kind of a big question to answer, so i hope this helps!
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importantgalaxyrunaway · 1 year ago
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Between the bars (Coriolanus Snow x reader)
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AUTHORS NOTE 📝 : yall im so proud of this one i think its my best one yet would you want a part two bc i would be interested please comment and o worked Really really hard on this one especially a little longer than normal got a little carried away.
WARNINGS: pining, my post concussion writing, suggestive but no lemon, hardcore making out, fluff and slight angst w/ coryo family, tried my best for snow to be in character, were basically Lucy gray
My hands wrapped around the cold metal bars of the monkey house where I was enclosed in. I couldn’t sleep no, not a wink so I decided to watch over my district parter. It was cold at night, they didn’t give us any blankets. It’s barbaric the way they treat us, just because we’re district doesn’t mean we’re not human. And just since most of us are going to our death you’d think that we’d be entitled to a least a little dignity.
you’d think….
Suddenly I hear footsteps and peer out the bars of the monkey cage into the empty zoo. Well…..not empty anymore. There approaching me is the one person who has treated me fairly since coming here. He handles me like I was a true lady of the capital.
Coriolanus snow walked up to the bars where I was.
“hello y/n….I’ve brought you something��� he hands me an intricate compact “it was my mothers I thought it would remind you of me in the arena and…….” He pauses and looks around though no one is there “there’s poison in it. I know, but only in self defense in that arena your going to things you’re not proud of”
I nod “I understand” I say knowing I’ll have to use it at some point “it’s beautiful…thank you” I run my fingers over the delicate and fancy design.
he smiles. That smile that stupid smirk. When I first met Coriolanus I had to admit I was struck by how attractive he was. Paired with holding out a rose for me to take from his hand and saying that he would take care of me….well it’s enough to have any girl blushing like a fool. I tried my best to keep it together but I knew some of the blush was showing on my face when he held out the rose. Whenever I look at him I get butterflies in my stomach. Little did I know at the time he felt almost the exact same way about me and my appearance when he first saw me. But it was my spirit at the reaping and going foreward that truly made him fall for her. In fact the was one of the things that prompted him to arrive with the rose at the train station. When I was reaped I didn’t cry or scream or anything but….well I sung. I’ve always been a performer at heart and though my song was very short it showed that they couldn’t break my spirit.
now he leans down and brings his face close to mine. Closer than ever before.
“Coryo, I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again…but I wanted to thank you, you’ve treated me well like an equal and that’s rare. If I die in that arena it won’t be your fault-“
“I’m going you out of there y/n. You’re not just a tribute to me. You’re going to survive”he shocks even himself by saying it. He had never spoken about his feelings to y/n. Not even to Tigris. But with the games tomorrow there was no chance other than now. He was enchanted by her beauty and her charm when they first met, her realness. And though it was hard to admit her survival in that arena now meant much more to him than just getting the plinthe prize. He cared about her. Love was a feeling that was all too foreign to the young Coriolanus snow. He had only ever possibly experimented with a girl or two and that was nothing special just a fling. He was an orphan he never knew love from his parents all he had was Tigris, the grandma’m and now y/n.
I let my fingers slip in between the the bars that separated us and caress the side of his soft cheek. Letting myself give in to the temptation that has plagued me ever since we met. His eyes lock onto mine and me gaze at each other for a while lost in our own thoughts. as I stroke his cheek he leans into my touch so heavily as though he has never felt real love in his life. My other hand goes to cup his other cheek from the side so I’m holding his head in my hands now. He looks up at me and I slide one of my hands down to his neck. He was so clearly touch starved, I could see the desperation and hunger in his eyes.
and we’re both wondering the same thing. is this it? Is this the last time l’ll ever see them?
“Y/n l/n” he breathed like it was a desperate plea.
“coryo…”
and then he leans in close and we are in between the bars. He kisses me at first gently, soft and pure like driven snow. I can smell the roses on him a sweet scent that fills my lungs and takes me away. And we both forget about everything. The arena, the tributes, the fact I might be facing my death tomorrow. Because all I can feel is his lips upon mine. His lips are warm and soft, unlike the cold crisp air around us. We’re almost gasping for air. The kiss turns hot and heavy. More rough as it goes on. Like he was holding back before, now he had given up the fight with control. I gasp as I feel his hand snake around to the back off my head and pulling impossibly closer to him in the kiss. When I gasp he takes advantage of that and and deepens the kiss even further if possible. It was never a fight for dominance he took control. A small groan of pleasure escapes Coriolanus’s lips. I hum in response showing that I’m enjoying it as much as he is. Eventually we break and put our foreheads together.
And there stands Coriolanus snow one of the finest men in the capital, panting uniform messed up, and face as red as a beet. All because of the tribute y/n l/n from district 12. She had more than just affect on him. That was an understatement
not that she was any better…
Our foreheads touching both of us panting for our lives, tomato faced. I gaze once again into those beautiful blue irises that remind me of crystals
“Coryo…I won’t let you down in that arena I’ll survive for us…you’ve given me something to fight for” I breathe out
”and you’ve given me someone to root for. I’ll be waiting for you y/n” he almost whispers the last sentence
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dreamwritersworld · 2 years ago
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The chore. Part 2 (Sully family x reader)
this is part two of my first story! :) I decided to add the healing and growing of our character to ease the pain and panic that mayyyy or may not come in the next part 😭. I hope you enjoy it! 💕
Tuk had only just now fallen asleep since it’s been a couple of hours flying. I know that sooner or later she’s going to be hungry so I decided to take a break and go out hunting for our meal. I laid her down safely with my Ikran while I went to go hunt. It had only been an hour since I left so I whistled to see if Tuk was at least up, patiently waiting for a whistle back. She wasn’t thankfully but I was indeed so tired so I just decided to set our meal and future meals for the flight ahead.
I slept longer than expected not as much as Tuk though, I could only hope that the trip wasn’t taking a big hit on her. So I started preparing the meal that I hunted and started a fire, moved Tuk even closer in case she was cold. We ate and got back to flying. A couple of days passed and I can tell as much as Tuk tried to hide it, she was tired of flying and searching for “a place to settle”. She just constantly asked me “are we almost there?” All I had to give her was “We’ll see Tuk-Tuk! Just hold on goofball! :)” I don’t have a plan but I hope she doesn’t notice, she should be at peace and I can’t cause anymore trouble, especially since I’m the reason she wanted to leave the forest.
It wasn’t until a couple of hours I felt tears and a frustrated sob that I noticed Tuk was over hiding how she felt. “Im tired of flying. I want to go home. I want to settle wherever you said home would be. But we can settle another place can’t we? I just want a home.” I couldn’t do anything but hold her while she cried because I knew I had to keep going. I soon realized she was starting to catch a fever, a really bad one so I was in a hurry to find a clan to approach.
Her fever was only getting worse she was hanging on but I didn’t have much time. I feel tears build up, feeling like I let her down until I see huts I think we’re close to something. I hear calls, announcing a newcomers arrival, my arrival. I hold Tuk in my arms crying begging for help. “I do not come to harm anyone Please. Help my sister is sick and it’s only getting worse.” I see the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik coming towards us and I take a kneel to show some sort of my respects since I am holding Tuk in my arms.
“Why do you come here on our island for?” The woman speaks. “I seek a place to call home. A place to settle. I understand I am different but I will adapt. WE will adapt. We will learn your ways but please accept us. My sister is burning up and- please just heal her please.” The two turn to each other and discuss with their eyes as I wait and hold Tuk tight “Sister it hurts, everything hurts”
“I know Tuk, I know it’s ok just hang on” they turn back to me and the Tsahik says “Come with me child.” I follow quickly, hearing the Olo'eyktan urge everyone to return to the normal “Everyone go back to your duties!”
I stand by watching her do her work by the time she’s done Tuk is feelings better but quickly rested. The Olo'eyktan walks in as soon as she is done and she turns to me and says. “My name is Ronal, this is my husband Tonowari. How long have you been out flying?” I look up nervous to speak “M-my name is y/n. Who you just treated is Tuk. We have been flying for a couple of days now.” Silence is between us as she contemplates her next words “You seek a place to settle yes? Well you must learn our ways as you already stated. You must not fall behind.”
“Yes, yes I understand thank you. Thank you truly” She takes a moment to look at my face “Child, what is that scar?” I watch as she touches it. “Oh, it was from a fight I was in. Trust me I don’t do those anymore.” She laughs at how quick I was to cover it up. Then they decided that although we were newcomers, we shouldn’t have our own mauri since we were young. I couldn’t argue this since we are their guest, so they settled us comfortably into a far corner of their Mauri.
Finally a real sleep.
I woke up to a meal being cooked and settled on the table. I had greeted the leaders and introduced myself to their children. The girl, Tyseria lead the conversation asking about Tuk and I’s interests and hobbies and we all seemed to get along until it was time to clean up and I was asked to stay longer while the two siblings did chores. Tuk had walked away into our corner to start beading a bracelet with the new materials Tyseria gave her.
In a gentle voice Tonowari said “We do not mean to bring harm but we must know what went wrong seeing as you are a child taking care of a child. How has it come to this?” I looked down slightly saddened taking in what he said as it was true and seemingly sad. Although I had to be honest and stay true to my word, I told them everything, every detail, every word ever spoken about why I fled the forest.
“Well then y/n…we will take care of you and house you. It seems as though it is in your nature to protect the innocent, you have a strong heart. So I am sorry that on that day, the day you were once again shut out and left to die. No one was there to lift you up into their arms, the way you lifted others like Tuk into yours. No one cared for you the way you should’ve been taken care of then, so allow us to care for you now. It’s time to be at peace Y/n. ” and for the first time ever it was ok to cry, cry tears of happiness and comfort. I was finally going to be at peace.
So that’s what they did. We soon became daughters to them. I grew close with Tyseria, took care of Tuk and surprisingly got along with Aonung even if we seemed to always leave conversations with both of us blushing like crazy. At some point it was hard, to lose old habits. I was so used to being on my own and taking care of Tuk I sometimes lost sight of how others perceive me…just a kid.
*flashback*
I unknowingly over worked myself, fighting to show I can still stay on the island, a war nobody even knew was happening. Once Ronal told me to stop working as my hands were starting to bleed, I accidentally got upset and told her “I can’t stop I need to keep going, stopping means I don’t care anymore.” It wasn’t until then Tonowari and Ronal pulled me aside to talk is when I realized this isn’t like before, I’m not alone.
“All right, your not alone anymore and your not a bad person for leaving. You did not come out of the womb as a frustrated person Y/n. You. Y/n, came out of the womb a beautiful child who unbeknownst to her had a couple of wires crossed. So when you have finally received true love. The love you were always meant to have, it set something off in your brain that wants to deny it and keep fighting. You have been fighting a losing game since the first day you were in your other parents care. So you can sit here and continue looking me in the eye and say as calmly as can be, “I’m fine, it’s not big deal, I’m not thinking about it anymore and I am no longer upset at my past.” That. My child, is the disease of silent frustration. It is deadly. The hardest part about having this disease is that no one in the world can see it besides the ones that hold you close. And that is why we are here to show you we care, we are not leaving, we are not going to ignore your feelings, and we will go through this together. As long as we are here no one can hurt you” *
It was moment like those when I needed someone to pull me out of my old habits, even Tyseria and Aonung did.
*Flashback*
I was looking over Tuk while she slept, it had only been a couple of days since we arrived but I was still pondering over the fact that I could’ve lost her if I had no solution to her fever. “What are youuuu thinkin?” I heard Tyseria giggle and say. I stood quiet considering if I should even say anything with the two siblings in the room but I decided to anyways “I thought Tuk would be the one…finally.” Confusion was written on their faces until Aonung said “the one what y/n?” I looked back down “the one who’s life I didn’t harm.” I immediately feel their hugs as Aonung said “you didn’t do anything wrong y/n, you did the best for her.” *
So yes it was difficult, but I made sure we knew their ways and observed everything to show Tuk to be better. We got many eyes and compliments because we learned at a quicker rate and speed than anyone at the island ever did. I didn’t want to overwork Tuk, I could never do that to her so instead while we were doing extra practice I taught her in games, the same way we did in the forest. It was going good and she maintained a smile until we were entering our home and I mentioned us having to practice breathing techniques. That’s when she got frustrated.
“No Y/n I can’t do it. It’s hurts. I can’t practice breathing. It’s easier for you to do when you already know the ways. This is the only thing I can’t and won’t do.” I sigh contemplating my next words, this is about survival and if I need Tuk to be safe I need her to learn how to breath underwater especially since she is surrounded by it. “Tuk please I know it’s hard and trust me I don’t know the ways fully either but we will learn. Together.” She’s silent considering what I’ve said “You made it so that we don’t have to fly anymore Y/n, so we that we can be together still. We’re safe now.” I glance down and smile “yea I guess we are” we sit for a moment enjoying the view of the beach. “All this. It’s worth it. All those times you would ask me if we’d find a home, all I could ever tell you was “We’ll see” and your face would fall every single time.”
“It’s better than saying yes and lying to me.” Tuk admits. “That’s what I told myself. But you want to know something I didn’t tell you? I never had a plan, I never knew where we were going. I never knew anything. I just fought and fought and fought and hoped you didn’t notice. I hoped we’d find something before you did. Did I do a good job?” My voice cracks as I start to tear up hoping I didn’t ruin her. “Of course you did sister! Are you crazy?!” I laugh and continue “When I was about to leave and you swore that you didn’t want to stay. Tuk, I fully believe if you hadn’t come I’d probably be lost. I was right to hear you out back in the forest, you made a request and I just had to trust myself and you to make the hard call. To take you with me. How did I get so lucky?” Tuk smiles and says “You made it so we can so thank you. For everything” I take a moment to stare at her and hold in the morning before saying “your welcome, for everything.”
We clean up the Mauri for awhile and continues the night like normal instead this time I felt a small hand reach out to me. “Can I..? Could I maybe sleep with you tonight.” Something we hadn’t done it in what feels like years. “You know like I did when I was little.” I agreed inviting her in. “Yea I-I’m not scared, just tired.” I smiled at her trying to reassure me while she hugs me in silence “….Tuk you’re still little” I hear her laugh and sigh “yea I know” and we drifted off into sleep.
Hope you enjoyed my loves :)!!! 💕
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akutasoda · 1 year ago
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something happens and im head over heels all over again
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synopsis - simple things you do that make them love you even more
includes - albedo, beidou, xiao, ayaka, ayato, wanderer
warnings - gn!reader, fluff, wc - 536
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albedo ★↷
albedo adores how you have adapted the practice of making him packed lunches ti take up to dragonspine if he returns for the night, or you go out of your way to deliver it too him or give to someone else to take to him. they're normally completed with a little cheesy note saying 'your doing great!' or something sweeter sitting at the top which never fails to make him smile. or just him knowing that klee trusts you and can often be found playing with you or simply taking her round mondstadt.
beidou ★↷
beidou knows how her way of life is often shunned upon, not that she cares much anymore. but just seeing you embrace that part of her and helping around the ship even though she insits you dont have to. or you helping out her fellow crewmates. she views all crew of the crux as family so seeing you bond and get along really well just makes her appreciate you more and more (it seemed impossible for her to adore you as much as she does but she does).
adeptus xiao ★↷
xiao may seem uninterested when you want to go to festivals with him or simply spending time together strolling liyue or whatever you manage to drag him into doing, but sometimes you can catch a small glimpse of his lips curling slightly more upwards. you're constant reminder that he deserves to be treated to relaxation and have breaks every once in a while makes his cheeks slightly dash red knowing you care that much about him.
kamisato ayaka ★↷
ayaka may not be the head of the kamisato clan, she still has her fair share of work to be doing which often leaves her feeling tired. but that was until you introduced your 'spur of the moment picknicks'. just you two going to beatiful spots in inazuma surrounded by nature and having small picknicks talking about whatever that isnt her or your work makes her worries melt away. and each time she grows more excited for you to tell her to clear a spot in her schedule for another picknick.
kamisato ayato ★↷
ayato is often stuck doing paperwork or giving out orders, but ever so often he sees your familiar mess of hair pop round his door to deop off your latest trinket, sometimes its matching keychains you saw at a stall and brought it on impulse or sometimes, his personal favourite, you bring him a homemade gift. a small plate of sweets or foods, a handmade trinket or little notes to motivate him. it works and sometimes he gets you little items aswell.
wanderer ★↷
wanderer has been through alot. from his birth as kunikuzushi, to his time as scaramouche and eventually his fall as a false god into who he is now. wanderer. and you, someone who he cherishes deeply and has been with him thick and thin. sure its been difficult for you and him but you've made it through all. so sometimes small moments like you and him preparing meals together, you dragging him to do whatever with him although he says he hates it but you know better and just doing small domestic acts that mean the world to him.
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doodler16 · 15 days ago
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part of the reason i won't watch s2 of hazbin hotel is because of the vees. and no, im not talking about how they're all accomplices to valentino raping/drugging people. i think that's actually the one bit of subtle villainy i appreciate, even i can't fully appreciate it because of the creators barely disguised rape fetish. i really just think were done so dirty compared to their fun instagram versions that were allowed to be terrible and a cute found family all at once, and pretty much everything added to their canon selves goes against what their appeal was before to me.
valentino? a charming and suave, but manipulative pimp who rules the porn industry in the ring of pride, and who's been ruling said industry since he died in the 70s, making him a powerful figure with history in hell AND with one of the main characters, his abuse victim angel dust who's been there longer than him? what great potential!
the monkey paw finger curls. valentino is now a stupid bitch who needs vox to put him in his place and treat him like a violent overgrown toddler who's never heard the word no. makes shitty porn no one actually likes despite supposedly being super duper sexy and the playbill claiming everyone wants a piece of him, made his very first porno with angel be titled "my cousin and me", (even though it would've been a great chance to show val and angel bonding over porn and sex in the begining when angel started working for val and THEN have it slowly devolve over time, but fuck you we need more sex jokes, clearly,) and is implied to be not well liked by even the other vees. tries to seduce the princess of hell by drooling all over her arm and is given quirky habits like arts and crafting while he talks about all the people he's tricked into working for him. totally not a weird or lame or inappropriate way to portray a pimp at all, shut up and buy the 300 dollar three vees print,
velvet? a fun, bright, but chaotic force that holds the vees together due to having died recently with a good understanding of social media, who dominates the fashion industry in the pride ring and doesn't take shit from anyone, especially not the men she's working with? what great potential!
the monkey paw finger curls again. velvet gets the bare minimum attention needed to acknowledge her existence as another vee and not just an assistant, gets one song that doesn't mean jack diddly shit to the story at all and just gives her an excuse to be a bitch, then doesn't even have enough budget to sing in the finale. is implied to also hate the vees because she never enjoys spending time with them seemingly unless she gets to film her old toxic yaoi dads making out for clout and nothing else. will probably continue to get the bare minimum treatment for a female character in one of vivs shows with no interesting personality like she had before, (which was all just given to nifty in retrospect so she could be a joke character, but it makes even less sense because nifty doesn't even act like she's from the 50s so what's the point of making her drool over bad boys and bdsm other then for the Funny,) and MIGHT get redeemed, but who knows and who cares anymore,
vox? a business man who's been around since the 50s and has a business partner valentino who he's implied to have a relationship with, along with the addition of velvet to give him some modern day help? what great potential.
the monkey paws finger goddamn motherfucking curls. vox is a pathetic bitch who beefs with alastor and does nothing else so alastor can look better and cooler and goes "YES IM SO FUCKING HARD RN. THIS IS BETTER THEN SEX" in a way that's so fucking obnoxious that it gives s1 blitz a run for his money. also the leaks revealed that the only reason he was given hypnotism powers is so he can really just hypnotize angel into being a brainless obedient employee that can't consent to ANYTHING if he ever steps out of line, (theres a s2 leak where angel has red hypno vox eyes, another where he's tied up to a chair, and in the red smoke comic that masquerade references during the abuse sequence with val and angel, ex; "ive killed bitches for half the shit you've pulled!" "when i say cum, you say, yes, val.", ends, with vox hypnotizing angel into submission while angel begs to val to be spared.) like i realized before anyone else that they only gave him hypnotism powers for that reason and nothing else; why else would you give a business man, who can use his charm and voice to trick people into trusting him, a power that FORCES people to trust him anyway?
i feel like half of these issues might be excusable if any of them even actually liked each other like how velvet used to enjoy the other voys, even if it was at their expense some of the time. but no, they all just work with each other because they have to and that's it. fuck the found family, only the main characters get that! the main characters, who's characterization is slowly being butchered too, if al and pent are anything to go by. not even the s2 leaks i did see of the vees interested me; the s2 leaks feel like an excuse from god to give me a glimpse of what i'll be missing out if i don't stick around for vivziepops shows in 2025. and boy, i won't miss it.
if i wanted to watch rapists get away with heinous shit and be rewarded for it, i'd turn on the news and see who's about to rule the United States of America. it's why i won't stick around for helluva either - the obsession the creator has with these terrible characters who have no concept of consent, to the point they poison the narrative and become creators pets, has become so gross and draining to watch. i just can't anymore tbh! because if you told me 4 years ago that valentino and stolas would've been treated this way by the stories they're in, i wouldn't have believed you.
its not even that i want them to be changed or "less problematic", no, i WANT them to be problematic, and interact with a world in hell that treats them as such. i want to see sinners talk about them honestly in private, or express dislike they can't be too upfront about, or even have other overlords and powerful people (like the main fucking character) point out and try to punish their actually vile behavior in an understandable, but comedic and hellish way. because this is hell - so why shouldn't bad people who do bad things suffer for them in some way socially if they can't suffer in hell the traditional way?
but that's the kind of thing you'd expect from a show made for adults. this wasn't a show made for adults, it was made for teenagers, kids, and 30 year olds with zero critical thinking skills when it comes to media and enough disposable income (and need to escape from reality due to likely poor mental health because of the way the world is rn,) for them to not give a shit to develop said critical thinking skills, and just buy the shiny new merch of their problematic favs when they drop. the audience they write for gives them money and praise, not feedback on a story.
in conclusion, the vees are just wasted potential and creators pets to me at this point, thank you for reading my big ass rant because i hate their canon versions sm 😭
I am curious and interested how far the enabling will go. Vox and Velvette seem like the type of people to be “ride or die” for Valentino for the worst reasons. Valentino got can rant about Angel Dust for ignoring him for 5 seconds, then proceed to reveal to his team that he raped and physically abused Angel Dust as punishment. Then Vox and Velvette would cheer him on for doing said action instead of calling him out or distancing themselves, continuing to proudly hang out with him in the public eye and calling everyone haters. At the same time, I feel like Vivziepop will double down on the Vees somehow.
While, I still am interested how Vivziepop writes Valentino in season 2. In season 1, he feels so downgraded and is only “intimidating” to Angel Dust’s perspective. I feel like it could’ve worked even more if Valentino was this uncharacteristically nice, charming boss everyone in the pride ring respected and was enchanted. Valentino having a large fanbase too and everyone wanted to work with him because he’s just so darn nice and talented! But obviously, there will be subtle creepiness to him that the audience can’t put their finger on.
For example, Anon: Valentino’s debut episode could’ve been about Charlie going into the porn studio to check up on Angel Dust only to be suck into Valentino’s charm. He doesn’t lick Charlie but respects her ambition and creativity regarding the hotel even if he doesn’t personally agree with Charlie’s ideals, being the first person to treat her with the highest respect. We the audience, see the two bond as artists. How artists are treated as scum and how artists must stick together. The audience along with Charlie would see how the porn studio would work too, Valentino would conveniently treat his sex workers including Angel Dust with respect since Charlie is in the room.
Charlie (ignorantly) and Valentino would mention and joke about how Angel Dust doesn’t know what he is talking about since he is a druggie. The episode would end on Charlie leaving the porn studio on a happy note, not knowing and ignorant about Valentino’s true intentions. I would’ve written it as a slow process as abusers aren’t always in your face especially when a friend is involved.
Valentino is the show is basically a manchild that is treated as the toddler in group which makes it extra hard to him seriously. There are times where I question whether to take him seriously or laugh. I think that’s the reason why I appreciate and like Paranoid DJ’s version of Valentino as he is an authoritarian figure who is treated serious and is self ware about his actions.
Vox is such a mess when Alastor is in picture or involved. Like if you cut of all the parts of him bitching and screaming about Alastor, and it only showed him and Valentino in episode 2, you at least see the business man in Vox and how much control, influence and power has in the Vee team.
That scene when Vox tells Valentino “yo Angel Dust is your slave and you got him on contract, so chill out. We have a reputation to keep together.” All logic goes out the window when Alastor has 5 seconds of screen time. It’s interesting in the comic that follow Alastor, it was the exact opposite. Alastor was pissed the moment Vox was on screen and swore. Vivziepop achieved her goal, she got many people to side with Alastor in comment section on YouTube. In the Instagram posts, it was showed that Val would physically abused Vox, soo take that as you will.
Velvette, the backbone (apparently) of the Vees (the only female in the trio who doesn’t do much). Crazyyy, totally not a repeated pattern in Vivziepop’s works where the females barely get any attention. It’s so funny because, it mentioned that Vox/Val saw Velvette as a daughter but now it’s crickets. Nobody knows what to say about Velvette’s involvement. The annoying part she has so much potential. Velvette could’ve been a great foil to Charlie, the one who teach her (in Velvette’s own ways) how to be a leader, that you must take charge no matter how rude you are.
Without “Respectless” no one would remember Velvette. Like sure, maybe 1-2 scenes where a fan could quote a line but compared Vox/Val, it is no competition. As vile and controversial as Val is many can bring up memorable aspects he has done throughout season 1 (I’m sure even without looking it up). Same with Vox even his moments can be cringey. But Velvette is just crickets, her entire “iconic” hinges on Respectless.
The writers make it sound like she will do something impactful or big later but 5 episodes later and no Velvette. I mean she does appear in the last episode, doing nothing. And, Vivziepop sucks at budgeting soo of course she doesn’t say anything. They should’ve cut out the Vees in episode 8, they didn’t do anything of worth.
I will admit, Raph’s involvement is hard to ignore. It’s like an equivalent of a bug consistently buzzing into your ear. Raph isn’t just a simple fan of the show, they are a storyboard artist and he has a big influence (whether he knows it or not). Especially, when Vivziepop has this annoying habit of make fan related stuff canon without adding her own twist to it. At first when that scene of Val threatening Angel Dust with the whole dick scene.
I got deju vu, I immediately went to Paranoid DJ’s comic dub of it and my suspicions were correct, even the other commenters noticed. I chalked it up to a coincidence/pure inspiration and nothing more. Then when I watch Raph’s Valentino’s animatic, the background scenes were very similar to the official episode. Then there is the infamous dance scene. And, I couldn’t ignore anymore, once you see certain aspects of Raph’s work you can’t unsee it. To be fair, even before Raph’s involvement Vox did have the hypothesizing eye but yeah I did see the leaks when it shows Angel Dust being hypothesized and does happen in their rape comic. But, I’m a bit hopeful that Vivziepop won’t completely copy Raph’s comic to a tee, just take inspiration and a few ideas from Raph here and there.
Either way I don’t blame you not wanting or planning to watch Season 2. I will be honest, I’m sure you won’t miss too much Anon. I can definitely see more drama and controversy coming from season because of Vees (mainly Val).
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norrisreads · 1 year ago
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Dangerous Woman 2 #CS55
PAIRING: carlos sainz x reader!, non racer carlos sainz jr x reader!
SUMMARY: being arranged married to carlos sainz, will the both of you work the marriage or will the next step be signing the divorce papers
WARNINGS: age gap, arranged married related, no smuts! tensions ofc, will be a 4 part series, inc of smau! angst, fluff (in the future?)
part 1
full masterlist
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Carlos definition of a date in his mind was a normal casual dinner date, not a date where the both of you would’ve enjoyed because right now while waiting for both of your food to arrived, there was a thick air of tension surrounding both of you.
“will you explain what is going on or are we supposed to sit here in silence?” you spoke, cutting off his train of thoughts
not far from your table you could notice the presence of the trio that was peeping towards your table, it’s not a secret when they’re out there wearing the exact same thing that you last saw them in.
“i’m aware lando have told you i’ve broken up with her” nodding your head agreeing to the statement
“I’ll appreciate if i could rekindle this situation, slowly”
now, you’re laughing because why now? why rekindle after a year?
“that’s funny sainz, the last thing i’ve heard from you was that you threw away our friendship over, just because you thought this marriage would meddle in to your relationship”
“you would’ve done the same thing, y/n. you don’t understand”
What did he meant that you wouldn’t understand? what about the nights you sobbed to him about how much you’ve loved your ex, but your parents would never approve of him which led the both of you to part ways
“i would’ve done the same thing carlos, but i couldn’t. it’s different for me because i’m not the head of the family, i’m just a woman who has to listen to everything my father says. I loved him, but i couldn’t do it anymore so i truly understand carlos. I’ve never once threw away our friendship but instead you, you’re selfish and you’re unaware of it”
you expected a reply but all he gave you was a slight nod agreeing to whatever you’ve just told him
“let’s just eat, we’re here anyways, and it would be great if those trios of yours join us instead of trying to hide themselves, because it’s not working”
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it’s been two weeks since then, there was an improvement in carlos attitude towards you, he would pick you up daily from your shifts, asked you out to dinner and he’s actually treating you like a wife should have been treated, which was odd but it did healed a part of your heart knowingly this is exactly the way you wanted to be treat as a wife.
“you’ve been nothing but glowing these past few days, what’s going on?” you’re currently on face-time with your best-friend, casually keeping up with each other gossips
“it’s carlos, he’s been treating me differently ever since that dinner date” setting up your phone on your table, while you’re removing your left over makeup
“well that’s great isn’t it? you guys are married so, least he could do is start treating you like a wife”
your best friend have always had a grudge towards Carlos, ever-since you’ve told her about both yours and Carlos rough past
“yeah and i guess im still getting used to it, but she’s gonna come back anytime sooner, this isn’t the first and surely would not be the last”
sighing while removing your makeup, from your phone screen you could see your best friend shrugging her shoulders agreeing with whatever you’ve just said to her
“he does that everytime, y/n. it’s all up to your choices love”
just then you heard your front doors open with voices trailing behind, “i think he’s homed, i’ll text you in a while, love you”
with that you ended the call with your best-friend and walked to your living room only to be greeted with carlos and his friends
“is there something going on today?” you were confused, you weren’t aware of the invitation of his friends over to your house
“they were just stopping by for dinner, would you like to join us?”
“It’s alright, your mom came by and brought over some food. I’ll just heat them up for you guys”
with that, carlos left the kitchen to entertain his friends
you weren’t particularly fond of his friends, other than the three who’s always around the both of you, these friends were different
you knew the friend group that he sticks by has been there for him since childhood and they’ve particularly were more fond of her rather than you.
there were many times you’d eavesdrop their conversations and those times were when you’d listen to their bad remarks about your marriage.
you knew who carlos ex girlfriend was, you’ve met her multiple times due to carlos and your family gathering that’s on-going for every year.
you’d be lying if you think she wasn’t beautiful because she is, no one knew but you’d sometimes compare the both of you because clearly she was the better looking.
your train of thoughts left your mind when you felt hands snaking around your waist
“what’s going on with that mind of yours, i’ve been calling for you to join us”
you could smell that strong perfume of his and a tint of sweetness which you for sure know it’s neither his nor yours because the perfumes you wore were always citrusy scents, and that was one sign you should have never choose to ignore
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taglist ; @iissza @spngi @sainzluvrr @slut4lando
link to taglist
a/n : thank you for the support & love for dangerous woman 🥹! i’ve received multiple inboxs asking when will i post the next part, so here you go <3!
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halfagone · 4 months ago
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Ok I just read off with the demons head and the grandfather paradox and I'm going absolutely insane like I LOOOOVVE fucked up parental relationships where there's that mutual bond and they love and care for each other but the parent has so much power and is not a good person and the moral conflict is so juicy but also sometimes it doesn't even matter what fucked up things they did because they're still family and there's still comfort and familiarity but also evil and Jajsjsjksak and I am chewing on danny and ra's relationship and I love when heroes allow themselves to feel vulnerable in front of horrible people because they know that they won't be hurt by them and danny cared so much but he couldn't stop him but even in the present he still let's ra's treat him like his son and im going INSANE DO YOU HEAR ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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I LOVE A GOOD COMPLICATED FAMILY RELATIONSHIP
I love the time travel element for these AUs especially because it also adds this fucked up factor about how Danny knew Ra's at a better time, when perhaps he had been softer and more forgiving. And yet--he had already done so many unspeakable things that when Danny learns that Ra's has been alive all this time he has to grapple with the fact that Ra's must have kept doing horrible things and yet he still loves him because for all that he was a cruel man, he thought that Danny was worthy of love without strings attached and Danny has never believed anyone could feel that way for him before Ra's.
There's a chapter in the fic that I could quote where Danny describes how the Fentons (Maddie to be specific) treats him because even though he knows they love him, it's not really him they love, it's this facade he uses to hide all the dark, dirty parts of himself but Ra's has seen those parts yet he still hasn't changed his mind about Danny and fuck it if that doesn't hurt.
And like. Danny could kill Ra's again. Danny might not get lucky like he did the first time with an unexpected pot shot but he has powers and he doesn't have to hide them anymore. You would think the power imbalance would be tipped in Danny's favor, but his moral code is a lot stricter than Ra's' is so Ra's can act more freely. And Danny won't kill Ra's again if he can help it.
Because even though Danny tries to excuse his decisions, insisting he had to do it, he knows deep down that he betrayed his own principles and he will never forgive himself for it. Is he willing to do it all over again? Can he forgive himself this time if he tries?
Ra's hasn't changed. And his affection for Danny hasn't changed either. Danny knows that Ra's will never truly hurt him, he knows he has nothing to fear with his physical safety. But he can never agree with Ra's' principles and he can't turn a blind eye to it.
He is safe and he is loved and yet he can't be happy with it and it fucking kills him inside. It would be so much easier to just give in and return to Ra's, senseless murder and all, but he has already compromised so much. He doesn't want to lose principles just to feel loved. He can't keep changing himself to feel like he belongs. Yet Ra's is willing to accept him, conflicting ethics and all, but it will never happen because Danny can't let it go.
UGH It's so complicated and I love it so so much. Your asks give me life.
I can't wait until the fic is finished so I can scream some more about the parallels and the foreshadowing and the moral conflict and AAAAUGGHHHHHHH I am already losing my mind just thinking about it.
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freakenomenon · 3 months ago
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since you’ve already talked extensively about ted and ellens psychodramas + how they were displayed in the game, what do you think about other characters psychodramas like gorrister and benny?
sits back.
both of their psychodramas are confusing to me, but i prefer bennys over gorristers so ill talk about that first,,
i have like an EXTREME dislike for how they completely took away his entire character in the short story, especially with the erasure of his sexuality. but even beyond that. i just. Don't understand his character??? he was big and strong and handsome and hated the weak and. then what.
id understand if there was some kind of character motive beyond being perfect and not giving a damn point blank period. like if he was trying to prove something. to strive for perfection to the point of killing others because of SOMETHING. but they don't. i don't understand the point of completely reworking this characters already established and VERY WELL IMPLEMENTED backstory for anything other than censorship.
he refused to be weak in any way, but WHY.
it's not like with ellen ( sorry i cant resist ) where she grew up in a bad neighborhood where she was treated like nothing, so she decided to MAKE herself something.
which made it hard to cope with the fact she couldn't just rise above EVERYTHING.
or like with ted where he was forced to work for his family because of their poor financial situation, but then was pulled out of that by someone who was taking advantage of him.
which caused a giant rift in his identity.
benny has just. always been a cool big strong powerful man who didnt care about others!!@ and then when AM took him down he's not anymore boo hoo.
it's watering down what made bennys transformation from man to monkey so god damn horrifying. especially with the lack of compassion. yes sure he cares about nobody but himself BUT FUCKING. WHY? THEY DONT EVEN ELABORATE ON THIS IN THE MANUAL. FUCKING WHYYYYYY.
i like toto though, very fun little guy. very interesting character. he was like the only part of the psychodrama i could really,,, resonate? with.
now. gorristers psychodrama is.
what the hell is even going on
the only thing i could really gather from it is that instead of being an activist and a cautious "looker-aheader", gorrister was a truck driving alcoholic who had a bad marriage and an abusive mother in law who blamed him for driving his wife batshit crazy because he beat her. but. other than that i don't.
understand half of it. what do you mean edna killed gorrister. what do you mean Harry cut his heart out. jesse, what the fuck are you talking about.
i don't fully understand WHY we are supposed to sympathize with gorrister when he is. SOMEWHAT responsible for the mental descent of glynis. obviously edna and harry played a huge part in this, im not ignoring that at all. but the end of the psychodrama implying that gorrister should just forgive himself and bury the past because he wasn't FULLY at fault for punting wife into the looneybin. What.
once again, i don't understand the need for a complete flip of this characters original premis unless it's for CENSORSHIP purposes. alongside that at least the puzzles and the dialogue within bennys psychodrama make SENSE. gorristers just.
DONT?
it's not that the puzzles don't have ANY logic like a good one or two of ellens. THEY JUST. ARENT SOMETHING THAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO OR BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WITHOUT JUST CLICKING SHIT ON RANDOM TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. wait. Wait.
Okay. i know this is supposed to be a rant about their characters but. I just wanna say that a lot of the puzzles. Are things that RELATE to the characters and their stories and backgrounds. which adds to the enjoyment. WHEN YOU REMOVE THE ENJOYMENT OF THE PUZZLES. IT KIND OF MAKES ME. NOT LIKE GORRISTER SO MUCH.
if i kept going id just end up totally rewriting the characters as a whole and that's something for another tumblr rant to soothe my ever expanding rage.
im gonna go get a cheese stick
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avatarl0v3r · 11 months ago
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Loose || Part one
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Warning: Angst, cussing (?),
Pairing: Loak x fem!reader
yes yall ik its short and very rushed, im tryna get back into the feel of things because i havent written in awhile but i promise the next two will be better
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if you ever start to wonder
why all the rain and all the thunder follows her around
you better cut that girl loose.
you wandered around the outskirts of the village lost in thought. throughout these past few months neteyam has been being more distant, ruder almost, but you never understood why he never told you anything anymore and when you'd ask, he'd getting annoyed and brush you off. you tried thinking of ways to help make him feel better but he's responses only made you feel worse than before.
most the time everything's fine.
"neteyam whats wrong?" you asked him softly as his back was turned to you "nothing, cant you just drop it i mean shit if im not telling you its for a reason." he said aggressively to you causing you to tear up and attempt to blink away the tears in a lousy attempt to stop them from pooling down your blue skin.
but as soon as she starts to whine
if you have no patience.
neteyam looked at you and rolled his eyes "why are you crying, you act like a child always crying for no reason." but it was for a reason, sure you could hold your own ground and hunt any animal and scare anyone but as soon as someone raised their voice at you even on accident, someone would turn the faucet in your eyes and they just pooled.
lo'ak watched this all from afar with a ach in his chest. lo'ak has been in love with you for years and even though he knew neteyam wasn't good for you, he could tell you were happy, and he wouldn't want to do anything to ruin your happiness even if it costed him his own. but seeing the way his brother had been treating you made him angry.
you better cut that girl loose.
"why are you treating her like shit, she doesn't deserve it?!" loak practically screamed at his brother one night in their families hut "if your gonna treat her like shit just break it off"
what are you, a coward?
"it's not my fault she's a cry baby and can't take criticism. im doing her a favor loak."
who are you helping?
"if you wanna do her a favor stop treating her like shit and break it the fuck off neteyam."
you got the power.
then do it yourself, king.
"what's me breaking it off gonna do for her then loak??"
and do it for her.
you better cut that girl loose.
"oh i dont know maybe!, stop making her feel like she owes you something, like she NEEDS to give you something," loak sighed in his hands shaking his head at his brother "either you treat her right or another man will."
a few days later they got the news they would be leaving the village to keep the people safe, the news shattered you whole being and in all honesty it shattered neteyam also, sure he was a dick to you the past weeks but what loak said got to him and made him have a reality check so when he told you he was leaving with tears in his eyes you just held him.
set her free
let her be
leave her be.
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copyright © 2024 avatarl0v3r on tumblr. do not translate/ remake/repost my works in any platform without authorized permission.
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ganondoodle · 1 year ago
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so its part of a way longer post i made some days ago but i want to highlight this part of it:
"i cant stop thinking about the devs saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!"
bc it feels like i finally "cracked the code" of why the sonau feel both like a reskinned version of the shikeah .. while also not at all to me, so shoved into every single corner of the game and its history (not even the forgotten temple being safe from them sure is .... also something, like them being spread all over hyrule, not just the undergound, but the surface AND sky as well isnt weird enough, the shiekah at least were integrated into the world and by far not as idolized as the sonau)
seeing the sonau like this ""better"" and more """perfect"" version of the shiekah bc they are untainted by any possible complicated relationships with especially the royal family (the sonau ARE the prefect, idyllic royal family of the past after all) makes them make so much more "sense" to me, they are a bad mix of OOTs and botws structure, sure, but the way they were done in the game i cannot for the life of me see it as that being their sole problem
(also looking at how shiekah tech was downgraded to some side gimick of purah ... idk if they ever even call it shiekah at all anymore, and if "all sheikah tech just vanished" like the devs said then ... how does any of that still exist huh? it doesnt add up at all except if you see it as the sonau being the ""better"" version of the shiekah with none of the "problematic" parts or history or conenctions (which would be .. interesting) bc they are supposed to represent that idyllic past zelda should feel obligated to recreate now, to uphold that sweet status quo ..
sidenote: someone on the post i talked about his before said its also dumbo that there is supposedly no connection at all between the shiekah and sonau, and yes! that was something i ranted about while i was still playing the game back in may even (most of my later gameplay at some point devolves into a rant about how stupid it is that there is no connection and instead its all just ... gone) bc its just ... so dumb
its also how i chose to integrate the sonau better into the world in my totk rewrite stuff, that they were once there aand had high tech but its by now only crumbs left with nothing funtcioning anymore but you discover that at the time of the ancient shiekah finding it it was still researchable and they build their tech based on the sonau ruins even if the sonau stuff is nothing but dust anymore- which i find a super ... obvious way to give the sonau a better connection to the existing world, keep the shiekah, expand upon their mystery while also still keepign them as such-
.... anyway, there beign no connection at all somehow also fits even more into my theory of the sonau, again, being there solely to represent the idyllic, perfect past zelda needs to feel obligated to rebuild while the shiekah are nothign but a funney gimick of purah now while everything else "just vanished" somehow bc we dont wanna deal with the shiekahs imperfect past so they really should be just a a helpful helper of the rocals (and the yiga a side note as a little threat to be different from the usual monsters but thats all that there is :)))) -
this is getting too long again .. feel free to add your two cents on it and if seeign the sonau like this makes them make more 'sense' to you too
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yagamisdiary · 2 months ago
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you don’t gotta answer if you don’t want to but is it hard to be in no contact with a parent ?
i’ve had a rough on and off relationship with my father since i was about 7 years old he’s messed up in many ways but that’s besides the point.
im finally at a point where im independent enough to move out etc and i want to plan it and go no contact with him because i’ve lowkey had enough lol but i feel like i will regret it later on.
so me and my mom have never gotten along like ever, we just never clicked. she couldn’t stand me because i “ruined her life” even tho it was her who got pregnant LOL and im an empath and could always sense she hated me even as a kid so i ended up building resentment toward her as well
it got worse as i became a teenager because i began acting out and standing up for myself and we would get into very physical fights and it just became very toxic to the point where she kicked me out sooooo many times
eventually i was always the one who begged to come back home even though i knew she didn’t want me back but i was so attached to my siblings that i wanted to be around them even if it meant she was going to continue to abuse me in every way possible
so it definitely wasn’t easy at first, i spent my whole 13-19 getting kicked out and coming back over and over again and just endlessly fighting with her until one day i just snapped
at 19, she did something unforgivable (she had done tons of cruel things to be before but this was my breaking point) and i finally realized i couldn’t do it anymore and i had to be selfish and leave my siblings behind because if i didnt, i was going to end up either killing myself or getting killed by her
i ended up leaving at 19 and i warned her she was never going to see or hear from me again and she didn’t give a fuck at all, in fact she straight up told me she was relieved and 6 years later, we have not seen eachother or spoken a single word to eachother
i have never been more at peace since leaving that house. even though i miss my siblings, that was the only part that was hard to do, leaving HER however wasn’t hard at all. she obviously has no problem with it either considering she hasn’t spoken a single word to be since i was 19 and now im currently 25.
i don’t know ur situation with ur dad but if it’s anything as bad as mine, i say do it. i hate when ppl have this stigma of “that’s ur parent you have to forgive them” “you can’t desert family” that’s just bullshit
you can cut off ANYONE. friends, partners, EVEN FAMILY. anyone who has treated you terribly, shouldn’t be in your life regardless if they’re related to you and i’m SOOOOOO stern on that like absolutely no one can change my mind on that whatsoever
i’m so so so sorry that you’re going through that with your dad and having that kind of relationship with a parent who is supposed to be one of the few ppl ur supposed to be able to trust is such a heartbreaking realization. if u need more advice or just someone to talk to, MESSAGE ME! i am more than happy to help ❤️‍🩹
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aether-friskets · 1 year ago
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Why I Headcanon Waylon Park as a Trans Guy?
it came to me in a dream.
ok but jokes aside (well not entirely it DID actually originate because of a dream i had getting interrupted by a nonexistent video essay on the topic... dreams are weird man), i do want to try talking about my reasoning for this (although it's totally legit to hc a character as trans purely because you want to!! thats totally based also lol), because maybe it'd be interesting to hear the lens through which i saw this game? idk lol but i'm doing it anyway... below the cut in case it gets long
Ok immediate prefaces, A: i doubt this was actually the intended at all and i'm not trying to say it's canon, just saying why i read it that way :3 and B: this will probably be a rambling mess and I apologize, I'll try to make it somewhat make sense.
I guess I'll start with: a whole major thing of Outlast, is fighting to tear down this large corporation, that is like. the embodiment of shitty systems that exploit people (this post by bry mentions that general topic, although more focused on miles' angle). It's worth noting because, to me at least, fighting these sorts of systems really aligns with a lot of queer folks (and basically any group that gets fucked over by the system, which is most of them loll). There's like, this whole thing of Waylon seemingly fitting that image of the ideal typical man, with the wife and kids and a job, but he has to risk all of that to do what he feels is the right thing.
(Oh yeah, I guess quick tangent on that note. Yes I know in canon we literally see his dick lmao and also we know he has kids, which you might think would deter my hc here. but A: i already said ik it's probably not canon, i can still read into it regardless. B: intersex ppl exist. C: phalloplasty and other similar procedures exist. D: ppl can have kids in non-traditional way. so im prob not gonna cover that element of it more)
My brain hasn't been able to help but interpret his whole journey in a queer way, because i played it as a teenager still in the throes of understanding my identity and place in the world, so in the end this might not even make sense to anyone else. But, I'm trying to explain, so I'll continue to regardless.
I kind of saw it as Waylon hiding in the protection of an "ideal" life. On the surface he looks like he's in that American ideal family, but it's a subversion. He's only one of them because they think he is. Because he doesn't step out of line. Unlike Miles, who's more outspoken about issues, who seemingly has no one around him. He's treated as part of this "ideal" world, while working in the background to try and stop the exploitation and immoral acts going on.
When he's caught, when he's seen as something more complicated than first imagined, he's cast out. Lumped in with the same people being exploited by Murkoff already. He isn't "human" to them anymore. He's something else. Something they don't like.
Although the violence brought upon him is by the variants, it is still in part Murkoff's doing, since they fucked these people up via these experiments to a point of heightened violence and just generally ruining their lives more than they already had been by whatever they had done prior. That being said, they are still responsible for their own actions.
the stuff with Eddie is definitely the part that most resonated with me through this lens. I remember first playing it, and he scared me the most, for a lot of reasons. One of which being what he represented. He's The Groom. He wants someone to be his Bride, and you're it, even if you don't want that. As someone who's aroace AND already knew at that point that i wasn't a girl, this guy felt like a human embodiment of the pressures to fit what was expected of you. That one day, you'll be married and have kids. If you don't, then you're worthless.
But it's interesting especially, because Waylon IS married. He has kids already. He has that family. The difference is, in this hypothetical trans lens, he's not "really" in a traditional family. He's "pretending", as some might see it, because he's not "really one of them". Being Eddie's Bride is the situation that would've been expected of him, but he said "fuck that", and did his own thing.
Plus, like, with Eddie in particular, you will NEVER be what he wants. He will try to make his perfect bride, but you'll never be it. Even before Mount Massive, no one was what he wanted, judging by all the people he killed. He's a broken man desiring something but never liking his options.
Also just fucking. these lines from eddie make me lose my mind.
That part of you the world sees, they think it's perfect. As God intended. Even these idiots and lunatics see it. There's something special about you. On the surface. But when they look deeper, when anybody with eyes to see looks at what you truly are. That's why they don't trust you. You're not what you're meant to be. Not yet. This place can see into your mind. And the things you've done. Oh, they're a sin, darling.
like HELLO??
I know it's probably just Eddie rambling but it felt like he reached through the screen and grabbed me by the throat like.
Anyway in actual relation to my point. uh. Remember the thing I said about Waylon being a "fake" typical family? This kind of relates to that. Like, on the surface, he seems like he's got this perfect typical American family, he's "as God intended" (which. bro. i swear that exact phrase has been used against trans people so many times). But if you look closer, you'll realize there's more to it than that. Also like, going from the "as God intended" line to the thing about the things he's done being a sin, like hmmm. Maybe I'm reading into that too much, considering we know Eddie wants to make you into his Bride, so of course he's gonna think stuff like that. But still. It's a bit interesting to me.
Plus, it's interesting how, despite having a wife and kids, he's still more... feminized, I guess, than any other characters in this game. Both in the game itself, and within the fandom. Like, not just Eddie literally calling him a woman and trying to make him his bride, but also stuff like a variant near the beginning calling him a "pretty flower" before threatening him, Andrew (one of the staff) licking his face at the beginning of the game... A lot of violence and sexual-ish acts that are often directed at women in media. Even Frank, who I don't have as much to say about here, has some weirdly sexual undertones to his whole cannibalism thing.
This isn't entirely related but one part of the game that still sticks with me but I don't see mentioned as much, is near the beginning. Those guys stabbing the dead staff member. One of them remarks that "there are no observers here" and "do you think you're different? Something special?", which I think helps cement the whole idea that he's treated the same as the rest of people being exploited by Murkoff now. There's no turning back to that "ideal" life you were hiding in before. Hell, that's definitely reinforced more at the end of the game, when you choose to publish your footage, knowing Murkoff will come after you for it, and probably ruin your life. Maybe there's more interesting things to glean from that, but i thought they were interesting lines nonetheless.
anyway, overall I know this is probably just the ramblings of a trans/generally queer person reading WAY too much into a character that I happened to resonate with when i played the game, but i thought maybe it would be interesting for others to understand what would lead me to this conclusion? Anyway, that's all i've got on the subject right now, so I hope it was at least a little interesting.
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suffarustuffaru · 2 years ago
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some theorizing / meta about pride if reinsuba
i think their power dynamic is super interesting because on the surface, obviously reinhard is more powerful than subaru. theres no question about that. reinhard is the one person subaru cant beat with enough tries at rbd. reinhard has killed subaru in pride if, what, i think it was either 1,000 or 10,000 times? but reinhard only powers over subaru PHYSICALLY. mentally, reinhard is already weak, but he’s doing better in pride if purely because wilhelm was erased by the whale. we can then assume that this reinhard is not as insecure as his main route self—wilhelm was the one that blamed him for killing theresia, and heinkel was the one who defended reinhard at first before eventually growing to believe this too. because wilhelm’s gone, all of that conflict is gone—or at least mostly gone, but we do know that reinhard and heinkel make up again regardless.
on the other hand though, pride if reinhard starting off happier than main route reinhard means he has a longer way to fall. subaru specifically cant directly beat reinhard. except—the only way to win over reinhard is to fight him indirectly. his mind is easily the only weak part of him because hes still human. he already has built-in insecurities from his upbringing and how the kingdom itself has treated him as a weapon and a tool. we only see julius die on screen, and we get a small mention that felix dies later as well, and then of course theres the whole kingdom—but i 100% think subaru killed basically all of reinhard’s loved ones. of course felix is targeted because its so easy to manipulate and use him after the whale erased crusch. of course julius is targeted because hes a knight to a rival competitor to emilia. but its a great coincidence that theyre also both reinhards closest friends—its a win win for subaru. theyre stepping stones in his plan to also bring the sword saint down to earth.
how do you kill a hero if you cant physically kill him? you kill everyone he cares about. you kill his purpose. his purpose as sword saint is to protect the entire kingdom, and he was told—at the age of FOUR—that if he cares about his family, then he must protect the kingdom. in pride if, he essentially fails at both of those things. julius and felix and likely people like heinkel, carol, and grimm (the latter two are also people who looked after reinhard ever since he was a child, in addition to other astrea family members) are dead. the kingdom is burning and in ruin. reinhard, whos been conditioned into being the kingdom’s hero, is forcefully broken out of that in the worst way possible. look, reinhard, the entire country is broken and all your loved ones are dead and now, theres no obligation to save any of them when they’re all already gone—it’s technically what reinhard’s always wanted. reinhard’s hero image has been shattered. and im sure that in the aftermath of pride if, after subarus death, theres likely going to be at least one person out there going, “why didnt the sword saint save us? why couldnt the sword saint stop any of this from happening?”
its no wonder, then, that subaru is the one that makes reinhard—emotionally repressed and almost always collected and subdued reinhard whos always asking even SIN ARCHBISHOPS mid-fight to surrender—to feel pure hatred for the first time. that’s how subaru won over reinhard.
and now that reinhard isnt the Hero anymore, emilia can replace him—just as subaru planned.
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Round 1
Propaganda why Feyre Archeron is insufferable:
"She is Miss Perfect Special Never Does Anything Wrong. Rhys with her is like Gordon Ramsay with children, EXCEPT SHE'S A GROWN ADULT. I didn't hate her tooooo much in books 1-3 (she was barely tolerable), but in the novella, she becomes this housewife First Lady type character who is fine doing paperwork after stating previously that she wants to be doing something more "important", and living in a McMansion. THEN THE FIFTH BOOK STARTS WITH HER HAVING AN "INTERVENTION" FOR HER SISTER, WHICH IS BASICALLY FEYRE TELLING NESTA THAT SHE'S GRIEVING INCORRECTLY. Bitch, who are YOU to tell someone that THEIR grief is making YOUR life uncomfortable?? "Wah wah the social implications" you're the literal queen, no one cares that your sister is embarrassing you.
Imo, Feyre is also the result of a lot of internalized misogyny on the part of the author, bc she has two men in love with her and gets along very well with every other male character that's not "evil", but many of the female characters are antagonistic or unhelpful towards Feyre, seemingly apropos of nothing. It's giving "I'm not like OTHER girls". She also very clearly doesn't want children but then miraculously changes her mind bc apparently female characters can't be fulfilled without children. 🙄
Oh and btw Feyre also manages to get the powers of EVERY fairy court ruler at the end of the first book. I DO NOT use the term "mary sue" lightly, as that label has been used against feminist characters a lot, but Feyre exemplifies the Mary Sue trope."
"SHES SO ANNOYING AND SO SO STUPID AND BY THE END SHE JUST BECOMES A COMPLETE DOORMAT AND LETS RHYS WALK ALL OVER HER tbh im more mad at the author for butchering her but she's still annoying as all hell"
"Thinks she’s the victim of everything. Destroys an entire Court. Forces an intervention on her sister who is grieving differently than Feyre is."
"She's the WORST. She's an asshole to her family but thinks she deserves to be worshipped by them because she hunts or whatever, feels entitled all the time, is ableist to her dad, is fantasy racist and turns from being racist to not being racist in a BLINK, is ridiculously overpowered and treated as oh-so-special by every single other character ... I hate her and I wish she would die. "
Propaganda why Tim Jackson Drake is insufferable:
"he is so generic the only thing distinctive about him is his rich white boy privilege and arrogance and yet the writers go out of their way to frame him as extraordinary and outstanding from every other character he appears beside which is crazy because he is just a less likable version of dick grayson and his character only works when the reader is reminded at every turn that he is a child so all his flaws are supposed to be endearing even when they negatively affect others"
"Other characters (including a murdered child) are bashed to prop Tim up as a good Robin. He's also constantly sexist and classist. He cheats on two women at the same time and is ultra smug"
"oh man. i've had enough of this duckboy (as the protag, he's tolerable in yj and stuff.) like when tim is the protag every character in the story becomes Worse. lady shiva gets nerfed. steph is turned into jealous hormonal catfight girl. helena is dumbified and too womanly to function (they have a nice dynamic as long as tim isn't the protag). cassie and tim were great in yj98, but as soon as he is The Protag then she is his best friend's girlfriend and they're barely friends anymore. cass is turned into a rapist. dick is turned into a lazy mediocre robin. jason turns into fucky wucky dumb brute yaoi stalker boyfriend who is suddenly obsessed with tim's awesome skills. 10 y.o. damian somehow deserves to be put on a hitlist because he's a savage and tim is civilized. Sometimes the story is bogged own with tim's internal or external lectures about their flaws and how they need to be better (better like him), except for dick HMMMM wonder why that is. probbly wouldn't be so bothered if tim wasn't crammed into the spotlight of every crossover in the 90s and early 00s and then so much of dc and the fandom wave it around as the peak era of comicbooks. like im sorry. he is not a relatable protag. like the editors literally told newspapers that he was created for gen x white dudes who blow their money on comics and merch, the info is on wikipedia."
"His definitive writer is a conservative Republican. His series is full of moral PSAs, *dumb* *hormonal* girls getting into catfights over him, and blatant sexism and racism. He gives anti-marijuana speeches to a standing ovation, he lectures about how babies need a father and a mother, and sex is for marriage. Other characters suddenly become stupid around him so that he looks smart. The other characters talk about how he is the best, nicest, smartest Robin ever and ALL the others were dumber and meaner than he is, even the one that mentored him. He as a grown adult man is canonically still bitter about "his" child sidekick role being given to an actual child (fans pretend he is the victim of this on both sides—nope he's the adult fighting a child for the child sidekick role, no adult wanted to replace him). Did I mention that this character is the amazing pure white boy, and his 10-year-old successor is painted as a savage Arab terrorist who needs to be put in his place? T*m is a 5'9"+ adult grown man, not a delicate sensitive baby boy."
"White twink rich boy who always has to be smartest bestest boy even when he is a part of a whole group of smartest bestest ppl (aka bat family as a whole, like he's literally THE Mary sue of a group of Mary sues) at expense of literally everyone else"
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dogspeaker · 2 years ago
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i don’t think the writers are going to allow misaki to go through this show without some growth, and i think people theorizing that she’s returning to be another antagonist aren’t giving the writers enough credit.
almost every character in BD has been treated with grace and empathy. misaki’s first appearance revealed her to have an attitude towards miri that was shocking and horrible, yes, but the writers also make it clear that misaki’s circumstances played a major part in her feeling that way. she represents a very real type of person in the world, more specifically in japan, and people in her situation have no way out without empathy from others. they wrote her to be realistic, but they didn’t actively demonize her to the audience. they don’t imply that she was abusive towards miri. although it is true that her resentment of miri wouldn’t stay hidden for long, miri is fortunately adopted by kazuki and rei at a young age, and it’s reasonable for the audience to assume by miri’s attitude towards her mother that she did not yet know misaki’s true feelings, aside from picking up on her melancholy. by contrast, shigeki is shown exclusively in a negative light, and we as the audience know him to be an abuser through both rei’s memories of him and our interaction with him in ep. 8.
i don’t think misaki’s a good person. however, i find it hard to believe that they would paint her as evil, or a conceited gold-digger, or an opportunist. it’s been almost a year since we saw her last. for single parents in shitty situations, it’s almost impossible to resolve the ongoing issues in your life when you also have a child to take care of. i fucking hate that she sent miri away in the way that she did, but without a kid, she may have been able to change her circumstances. from her outfit, it wouldn’t be far fetched to assume that misaki may have experienced a period of personal growth and change in these ten months, just like kazuki and rei have. one of BD’s themes is that people can change, and that their choices in the present can help redeem them for the past, or at least help them move forward in a way that doesn’t harm others anymore. there is no indication that misaki is excluded from that — in fact, one could argue that the worst choice she made (sending miri away alone) was one she made because she knew that continuing on without a change would spell misery and heartbreak for the both of them. by contrast, shigeki has never once been painted as someone who even wants to change.
i don’t think she’s here to steal miri away — it’s entirely possible that the plot reason for her return is to give kazuki and rei the opportunity to resolve the problems that would prevent them from being a family. in other words misaki will babysit while kyu, kazuki and rei fuck up shigeki and ryo and then immediately fuck off so mirifam can live happily ever after. im coping
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