#im too tired to feel any sort of motivation right now

[zero-body]

I feel the need to rant about so many things but they're a tad too specific for my country to not partially dox myself.

The state of my college is making me extremely angry and it's supposed to be the best in the country.

I keep trying to motivate myself by romanticising my field, by purposefully putting on rose tinted glasses... but sometimes they can't help but shatter. I've been fighting back the urge to cry about it for a few hours now.

I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to listen to all the problems, helpless, unable to solve any.

I've ranted about it to my parents, and they recommended I join our student council to fight back.. but I've been informed by another idealistic fool already going down that road that it's a hopeless cause. She's been struggling against the system for a while now, but very little is changing, and much too slowly.

My college appears from time to time like a hell specifically designed for people like me. And then I look at or professors happily jaunting around the halls, having gone through the same thing and it makes me feel so. . . unwelcome.

What have they done that I can't? How come they're not beaten, bloody and ragged like so many of us here? Where have I gone wrong?

[bunnys-writing]

Hi there!! Its been a while since i sent a request so i hope im doing this alright qwq

Can i request for Lyney x fem!reader who is an artist (a painter specifically) who is insecure about her art and what people think of her in general? And Lyney perhaps comfort her with reassuring words a lil flower :) tysm in advanced!

"HIS FAVOURITE ARTIST"

...in which Lyney finds out you're going through a bout of art block thanks to your mental health, and has to make sure his favourite artist knows how much he adores her!

(author's note at the bottom!)

"Hello (Y/N)!"

The singsong voice of your favourite man at the door pulled you from your thoughtful haze. You looked back in your stool at him and he beamed.

"Ah, Lyney! It's not already that late, is it?"

You looked around the art room, lamenting the lack of clocks, before looking out the window to see it was still twilight.

"Ah- no no, tonight's show was cancelled. Some ruckus in the crowd drew us to a faster end than planned."

"Oh, I see. Are you and your siblings okay?"

"Yes of course, not to worry, none of us were anywhere near it."

Lyney had travelled the large room to you at your canvas, hands wrapping around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Hmh, not feeling much motivation today either?"

You looked at the canvas; a few light, aimless strokes of lead were the only proof you'd even touched it. You frowned a bit, fidgeting with the pencil still in your hand. "...No."

This had been a recurring issue for a few weeks now. You had always painted such beautiful works, but larely, you'd been in a rut of sorts. You'd try to get started on a piece only to fall short a few minutes in.

That's what your boyfriend knew.

What he didn't know was that the reason you continuously failed to inspire yourself to draw was because of all the raging feelings inside of you. You were a nobody in the art industry, and what was worse, you were a nobody to yourself just as much. You didn't have any real talent in your own perspective.

So you'd sit and mull over every thought, every comment, every wrong look you or your art had ever endured, and you'd only really zone back in if someone or something came up. It was a viscious loop.

".../N)? (Y/N), you're spacing out again..."

Right. Your boyfriend.

"Sorry, Lyn, I'm just a little tired I think..."

Lyney looked at you with concern. He knew you were hiding something. He knew this had started after the most recent art expedition you'd been to. You'd refused to talk about it, but Lyney was beginning to think the only way to help was to pry a little.

"(Y/N), at the gallery, a few weeks ago," You didn't catch yourself flinching until it was too late. Lyney noticed. "You came home tired and never told me what happened. Then you started losing your motivation, and now...you're barely engaging with your art anymore...What happened?"

You looked into his eyes. He looked so concerned. You looked away to mute the guilt.

"Just some critics. People were...very honest. It was a bad day, that's all..."

Lyney gently guided your chin with his hand, getting you to look at him again. His heart broke at the exhausted look on your face. Your heart broke in tandem.

"(Y/N)...You are the brightest soul I know. Your art is inspirational and moving, and...it's always such a blessing to see the world through your eyes in your paintings.

People won't always agree with me, or see your vision, but the point is that it's not their vision to understand. It's wholly and truly yours."

His other hand gently placed itself on your chest. He felt your heart skip a beat. The hand under your chin travelled up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear.

"I love your works. I love to see the fine details. I love when you explain your perspectives and your creative choices, because it's your heart on a canvas, and I get the first look. It's really one of my favourite parts about your art. They don't get that privilege, you know?"

You smiled, relaxing in his hold as he smiled in turn. He brought you in closer for a hug, and you found yourself squeezing him just a little tighter.

"Thanks Lyney."

"What can I say? You're my favourite artist in the whole of Teyvat."

Your next piece was showcased at Fontaine's next expedition. It featured spirals of purple, red, yellows and browns, highlighting a beautiful rose in the middle that was speckled with gold.

Coming up with the title was simple. It was based off of your lover, after all. Your magician, your light, your forever...

Your 'Muse'.

Thanks for requesting!!

As an artist, I totally get the feeling of insecurity that comes with publishing any works, and sometimes it really does feel like the hours and days you pour into your craft don't end up meaning much, but as Lyney said, as long as it's your vision, that's already perfect.

Thanks for reading! 🫶

(Requests are open! Check out my pinned for more info!)

[kaihuntrr]

part twelve: watched.

Welcome to Crescent Bay! ...Why is everyone so silent...?

god unrelated to the fic but somehow grian, gem, and pearl are fish/fishing/ocean themed in season ten what the HELL am i just good at predicting things or-- (pls will i be getting the motivation to draw them. it would be SO funny. i still need to draw pirates scott and sp scott im so silly)

Dark, heavy clouds loomed over the island as harsh winds blew against Martyn. The island was unlike any island he’d ever seen before. The bright, bustling, and sunny port he and the Canaries called home felt like a distant memory. The streets here were sparse with both light and people. Windows were either shut or boarded up, and there were barely any ships in the port. The people who were outside were staring at the hunters as if they were ghosts.

Joel, Scar, and Bdubs left the ship first. Martyn, Lizzie, and Cleo joined them a moment afterwards.

Martyn leaned close to Joel, whispering, “Are you sure this was the best place to dock?” He glanced around the port. “It doesn’t look too inviting.”

The people continued to stare at them. Martyn couldn’t help but stare back at them. The peoples’ faces looked worn and tired, as if they hadn’t slept for weeks. Their vacant, hollow expressions felt like staring into the abyss. 

Martyn couldn’t help but wonder if that was how he looked after he saw that sea prince. Maybe that was why he felt so unnerved.

“It was the only nearby island based on the map,” Joel crossed his arms. “It was either this, or we’re stuck with annoying hunters while finding a better place to dock.”

“I think I would’ve preferred the wait,” Martyn mumbled. He shook his head, “What are the plans?”

Grian and Mumbo exited the ship. Grian looked around, “We should find a place for the Kites and ourselves to stay at. Then, we’ll look for a place to eat.” Martyn hadn’t noticed his approach so his sudden voice caused Martyn to flinch. Grian hummed, “I wouldn’t mind exploring a bit.”

Seeing Grian made Martyn’s heart twist. “Yeah, me too,” He smiled. He walked up to his captain and nudged him gently, “Grian, can we talk?”

Grian narrowed his eyes and looked away. “Not now. We have to get them settled,” He shook his head. He turned to some of the Canaries, “Joel, Lizzie, Mumbo, and Bdubs. Could you four go with Kites and arrange things for an inn? The rest of us can check out the island.”

Martyn furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms, his gaze dropping to the ground as the wind passed by. Joel glanced between Martyn and Grian before approaching his brother.

Joel tilted his head. “Sounds good, but,” he put a hand on Grian’s shoulder, “I can do all the leading stuff if you’re upset.”

Grian forced a grin. “Upset? Me? No, I’m not,” he said and laughed unconvincingly. Grian looked away from Joel, “Let’s just get everything sorted.”

Martyn turned his head as he heard groans coming from a couple of Kites. Bek stomped down the gangplank. Tubbo’s eyes were wide, examining the new port while Katherine’s were narrowed. The rest of the Kites followed with either annoyed or curious reactions. It doesn’t look like they were too familiar with this place either.

“There’s no point in arguing, Bek,” Martyn overheard one of the Kites speak. “The sooner we cooperate, the sooner we can leave.”

“We can walk around on our own!” Bek rolled her eyes and shoved his hands down his pockets. 

“Not here, not when you don’t have all your gear. Come on.” Cleo jerked their head, indicating for the others to follow. The small dock wouldn’t fit all of them, so it’d be best to enter the town proper. 

Joel and Grian led the walk, the Kites trailing behind the Canaries as the hunters eagerly looked around. Martyn wished he didn’t feel so many eyes on him.

Joel stood on the left side while Grian stood on the right. Lizzie, Mumbo, and Bdubs followed Joel as Martyn, Scar, and Cleo stood next to Grian. Martyn looked at Grian, but the captain stared outward. Cleo and Scar gave Martyn warm smiles, and he smiled back weakly.

“Fiiine,” Bek groaned. She stopped next to Joel, her expression sour. She blinked as she saw Katherine walk over to stand by Martyn. “Katherine? You’re not coming with us?”

Martyn was just as surprised as Bek was.

Katherine shook her head. “I may have been on the ship with you, but I’m not a Kite. You’ll be fine,” she shrugged. “I want to see the island for myself, too.”

“Tell us if there’s something cool!”

“Will do!” Katherine smiled. She looked at Grian and gave him a sheepish grin, “I hope you don’t mind me tagging along.”

“Oh, of course not,” Grian shook his head and smiled. “It’s good to have more company around.”

“We’ll catch you in a few hours, when it gets dark,” Joel called out to Grian. Thunder rumbled overhead, sending a shiver up the captain’s spine. He forced a smile, “Er, darker. See you soon.”

Grian nodded, looking up at the sky before staring back at his brother, “Stay safe.”

Of course, there had to be a storm.

Rain was dangerous, Martyn knew that, and it’d be best to find a covered area soon. For some reason, it felt safer to be on a ship than on land when it rained. At least then, their weapons were closer.

The hunters walked through the nearly desolate streets, searching for anything anyone could deem as interesting. Martyn wanted to get his mind off of the stares. There was nothing too interesting to point out, the buildings were all boarded up and closed. An eerie howl filled his ears. 

The group was also fairly silent. Everyone was too preoccupied to really talk, it seemed, until Scar cleared his throat. 

“So,” Scar hummed as he looked at Katherine, “What brought you aboard the Kites’ ship?”

Katherine chuckled. “I was hired by them. Unlike you guys, I don’t hunt with just one crew,” she shook her head and puffed out her chest. “I like flying solo.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely without a crew?” Scar raised an eyebrow.

Katherine shook her head. “The opposite, actually,” she grinned. “You get to meet so many people! It’s never a dull moment when you’re moving all the time. What’s it like to have one?”

“They’re like siblings you never wished you had,” Cleo laughed. “They’re the worst.” Cleo rolled their eyes with a smile as Scar nudged them. 

Martyn laughed along with them, but his eyes flickered to Grian, who seemed to prefer staying quiet for the moment. 

I hope we can find some time alone later, I need to talk to him.

Martyn bit his lip, unable to say anything as he looked away from the others. He tuned out their conversation, but occasionally looked back to see them smiling and laughing, then looking over to see Grian with his arms crossed and his head down. It wasn’t wise to talk about Grian’s outburst in public, unless Martyn wanted to bring more attention to them.

Katherine, Scar, and Cleo walked ahead of Martyn and Grian. Grian didn’t seem aware of it. Martyn sighed but put on a smile as he gently tapped Grian’s shoulder.

“A storm sure is brewing,” Martyn looked up at the dark sky above. Thunder rumbled as he narrowed his eyes, “How’s the sightseeing?”

Grian shrugged, “Not much going on, by the sounds of things,” he crossed his arms. “I can’t hear much either. The whole town’s practically a dead zone.”

“You could say that again,” Martyn looked around, a shiver crawling up his spine. “What are we hoping to find here?”

“I was hoping to find some carpenters and ammunition stores for the ship and our weapons,” Grian sighed. “But these townsfolk don’t appear to be selling any of those.”

“I’m sure there’s at least one, we just need to keep walking,” Martyn forced a small smile. If he were honest, he wasn’t sure if there were any naval stores around here. If there weren’t any gates protecting the people from the sea, there might not be any stores with weapons to protect themselves from danger– even on the island. Martyn shook his head, “I hope the others find a place to stay soon.”

Grian nodded. “Me too, I’m pretty exhausted,” he looked around before staring at Martyn. He kept his voice in a whisper, “Are you still hurt from the fall?”

Martyn blinked. “I’m… I’m fine,” he placed a hand on Grian’s shoulder “But I’m worried about you, Grian.”

“Don’t be. I’ll be good,” Grian moved Martyn’s hand off of his shoulder. His stomach grumbled as he placed his hand on top of it, “I’m getting a bit hungry, though.”

Right. They haven’t eaten much yet. Martyn remembered eating a few snacks, but they wouldn’t fill him as much as a warm plate of food would. Martyn’s own stomach grumbled as he closed his eyes and briefly saw himself with Scott, the ginger playfully giggling while having Martyn to eat his fill in The Golden Apple.

Martyn sighed. Remember your promise.

Martyn smelled the air. It smelled of ash and rain, but there was something else. Something… good. There was food nearby, and likely, a tavern.

Martyn nudged the captain, “It smells like something’s cooking nearby. I think there’s a tavern,” he turned towards Grian and smiled, then he looked forward to see Katherine, Scar, and Cleo still entrenched in their conversation. “Hey guys!” Martyn called out, the three turned their heads towards him, “Do you want to get some food and drink?”

Katherine shook her head. “I’m good. I want to search the stalls up ahead for anything interesting to bring home,” she turned to Scar and Cleo. “What about you two?”

“I think it’d be safer to travel in groups for a while, so I’ll stay with Katherine.” Cleo smiled.

Best to travel in groups in an unfamiliar place.

“I’ll stay with Katherine too!” Scar grinned. An amused chuckle came out of Katherine as Scar placed his hands on his waist. “Besides, I’m not hungry at all.”

It’ll just be me and Grian, then.

“I’m sure you two can handle yourselves,” Katherine crossed her arms and nodded at Martyn and Grian. She turned around, “Don’t get killed in there!” She, Cleo, and Scar left for the stalls ahead, leaving Grian and Martyn to follow the smell.

This tavern wasn’t as fancy as Scott’s. It was an ordinary, square building with stones as a foundation and wooden beams to hold it up. It didn’t look well kept with the chips on the beams and the dirt that stained the dark green wooden walls. Still, a tavern was a tavern, Martyn just needed to suck it up.

Spending all of his time in Scott’s tavern had really spoiled Martyn. 

“After you.” Martyn opened the door and tilted his head at Grian. Grian nodded and walked inside, Martyn following behind as he shut the door behind them. Another crackle of thunder rang through the sky.

The tavern was small, with a sparse number of tables and chairs scattered around the room in an almost disorganized state. Barrels lined the back of the room and a modest bar was set up with one bartender cleaning a shot glass. To Martyn, there was nothing too noteworthy about this place, all of his thoughts remained back at that tavern with Scott. There were barely any people around, yet the moment Martyn closed the door behind him everyone’s heads shot up to stare at the two hunters.

Their murmurs did not go unheard.

“Hunters…” “What are they doing here?” “They’ll be dead for sure.”

Dead?

“What’s with all the whispers?” Martyn tried to avoid the stares in the room as he leaned over to Grian.

“Why would I know?” Grian whispered, a small hiss in his voice.

The bartender looked up at them and gave them a weary smile. “Ah. New faces, I see,” he sighed as Grian and Martyn took a seat on the stools. “I’m sorry that you’re here.”

“Why’s that?” Martyn raised an eyebrow. “The place is freaky, but there’s no need to apologize.”

“Oh, sir, you misunderstand,” the bartender shook his head. He leaned his head from side to side to get a better look at both of them, “You’re both hunters, are you not?”

“We are,” Grian nodded his head. He narrowed his eyes, “What’s the problem?”

“You see, sir, that is the problem,” the bartender turned around to pick up a bottle, then glanced back over his shoulder at the two of them. “Hunters who enter this isle may never leave.”

What?

Martyn let out a chuckle. “That’s ridiculous,” he rolled his eyes. “There wasn’t anything preventing us from entering.”

Apart from the weird tall rocks and dark storm clouds, there wasn’t any obstacle preventing the hunters from coming in. Martyn felt the hairs on his skin rise, but he tried to shake it off. What was he so worried about?

“Crescent Bay welcomes all, but the hunters who enter cannot escape,” The bartender poured a shot of alcohol and moved the small glass in front of Martyn. “Please, take a drink. You’re on edge. On the house.”

“Martyn, don’t.” Grian narrowed his eyes.

One wouldn’t hurt, right?

Martyn was a lightweight. If he got drunk on an island he was unfamiliar with, it could lead to some trouble, yet, when he looked into the intoxicating liquid, all he could see was Scott’s warm smile and his pretty eyes staring back.

“It’s just one shot, don’t worry about me.”

“It hasn’t been poisoned, if that’s what you were wondering,” the bartender poured the liquid into a different shot glass and downed it in one gulp. “See? Everything is just fine.”

Martyn took a small sip out of the glass. He heard Grian’s resigned sigh. “It’s not that….” 

Grian leaned closer to the bartender, resting his arms on the counter. “So,” he tilted his head, “are you saying the island’s cursed?”

The bartender nodded. “That it is.” he sighed. “It’s a nasty enchantment from the Scarlet Witch herself.”

Martyn laughed. “Witches? You’ve got to be kidding me,” he shook his head and waved his hand dismissively before taking another sip. “Witches aren’t real.”

The bartender shook his head. “She’s real. She cursed the island to kill any hunter that tries to leave,” he looked at the hunters with widened eyes. “I've seen bits of the monster myself.” Grian raised an eyebrow, encouraging the man to speak more. “Any time a hunting ship leaves, there’s this mist that just appears, the sky erupts into a storm, and–,” his voice shook as his eyes stared at the floor, “No hunter has ever left alive.”

Martyn took another sip of his drink. A sudden mist and rainstorm, then monsters. He hummed. He swirled the alcohol in the shot glass before downing the rest of it, a sickening feeling formed in his gut almost immediately. The bartender refilled the shot for Martyn without him needing to ask, but he eyed it with an odd look on his face. Focus.

A sudden rainstorm didn’t sound like a problem. It was something hunters needed to be ready for at all times, but the mist stumped him. As far as he knew, the only place that had thick mist would be the world border, or moments in the sea prince stories–

Sea prince stories.

Something about this story made Martyn think. He sipped his shot. His brain was getting fuzzy, but maybe the alcohol could clear it and get him to understand the situation.

Grian shrugged, “A swarm of sea monsters ambushed a nearby hunting ship, I can see why that’s a problem.”

“No, sir, you’ve got that part wrong.” the bartender leaned in, his voice continuing to quiver. His eyes widened, “There’s only one beast that destroys the ships....”

Martyn took a sip from his shot and his eyes locked onto the now overtly nervous bartender. Grian glanced between Martyn and the bartender and nodded, allowing the man time to find his words.

“We here on the island have reason to believe it’s a sea prince.”

The sea prince’s haunting eyes burned in the back of Martyn’s mind, causing him to flinch. He took in deep breaths. 

It was a sea prince, what he’d seen. Somehow, Martyn had found himself staring at one face to face, and now he was on an island that was possibly- likely guarded by a sea prince. It was all lining up, maybe too well. 

“Tell us more,” Grian pressed. Martyn looked at him and at the bartender. Grian’s gaze was locked on the bartender as his hands began to shake.

“Y-You see–,” the bartender crossed his arms and rested against the counter. He took in a deep breath, “It storms so hard during the siege, no one can catch a proper look of the monster. But believe me, it’s much, much larger than any other ship– and its roar sounds like the unholy call of death itself.”

“How does this relate to the Scarlet Witch?”

“The… the Scarlet Witch… she….” The bartender lowered his head, his voice getting softer and softer.

“She made a deal with the sea princes.” A different voice spoke up, causing Martyn and Grian to turn to an elderly man. There was a bottle next to him and a big tankard. He didn’t look drunk- at least Martyn didn’t think so.

“She saw their treasure, and made a contract with them,” he looked at them and sat up from his slouch. “She was promised magic beyond anyone’s comprehension, and in return, she would follow their every command.”

“I’ve never heard that story before,” Martyn said, keeping his voice low.

“That’s because no one is able to tell it, hunter,” a different voice spoke, this time it came from a young woman. “Those who try to leave die. They can’t even spot the sea prince, either. Despite it being so close to the area, no one can discern the features the devil has.”

“The demon can’t even be spotted by normal ships! It’s like a ghost!” One of the other patrons stood from their seat, their voice loud and frantic. 

“A terrifying ghost monster!” Another patron shouted. “It’ll come for us all if we ever leave!” The sudden surge of noise startled Martyn- riled up over a ghostly sea prince that doomed hunting ships and scared others. 

“Oh, quiet down!” The young woman glared at the other patrons and leaned back on her chair. “That’s how no one can tell this story. People would think we’re making it up, but there comes the risk in escaping this island,” she motioned with her hands before shaking her head and crossing her arms. “So most of us resigned our fates here.”

No one is able to tell this story, huh?

“Then we’ll be the first,” Martyn grinned confidently. “Because we’re the Canaries; we’re the king’s hunters, and we’ll take down a sea prince!”

Usually- that was followed by a roar of applause after Martyn would say such a statement, but there was only silence. Martyn felt heat rise to his cheeks. Embarrassed, he downed the last of his shot and shuddered.

Grian patted Martyn’s shoulder. “I apologize for my friend’s behavior, he’s a lightweight,” he looked at Martyn, then back at the woman. “We’ll heed all of your warnings, though. Is there anything we need to look out for?”

The woman nodded. “A red hood, and she carries around twin blades that look like the moon.”

“We’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” Grian smiled and held Martyn’s shoulder, pulling him to his feet and carefully leading him out of the tavern as it grew silent and dreary once more. The patrons stared after them as Grian shut the door behind him.

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Grian muttered quietly. He looked at Martyn and crossed his arms, “And you shouldn’t have drank. We should meet up with Scar and the others.”

Was Grian not going to talk about what they just learned? It was groundbreaking! Someone made a contract with the sea princes– and even saw their treasure! Maybe Martyn was a little freaked out, but that meant he wasn’t the only one spared from a sea prince’s hunger.

Someone else had seen one, and lived.

Maybe the Scarlet Witch could even answer why the sea prince hadn’t eaten him. She could know so much more about the sea princes, and their power, and their treasure that the world had never heard of before. 

He needed to find her.

“Don’t you want to seek out the Scarlet Witch?” Martyn’s eyes widened as he placed his hands on Grian’s shoulder, visibly excited. “She might be our key to everything!”

Grian forced a grin and pushed Martyn off. “Can we talk about that when you aren’t drunk?” he shook his head. “Come on, I see Cleo. Let’s go join them.” Grian motioned for Martyn to follow him, sending one last glance at him before walking forward. They weren’t too far away, so Martyn didn’t feel the need to hurry after Grian. He could catch up.

Martyn was left alone on the desolate street before he heard the sound of scraping gravel behind him.

He turned his head.

Nothing.

It was nothing more than an empty street, barrels and boxes littered around carelessly. 

Martyn shuddered as the breeze kicked up a chill around him and he shook his head. Nothing was there. “...Alright alright, I’m coming.” He raised his shoulders and walked forward with a slight wobble in his step. He really shouldn’t have been drinking.

Martyn could have sworn he saw something down the empty street. 

And he’d be right.

[pjsk-headcanons]

i feel like whenever i have school my motivation just drains like a sink but HEY I GOT THIS DONE FAST!!! wish i could say that for new dream au designs...tracing traditional art to online is hard :(

hinomoris: hostile

-flashback to shiho online name backstory, they were pretty fine up to the point until shizuku quit being a model and decided to focus on being an idol. this was probably only a little bit after canon leo/need was SERIOUSLY over (high school, shiho pushed them away). not good mental states.

-the arguement went something like:

"im going to become an idol"

"why"

"i need to (prove myself)" (i really need to figure out shizuku in this au huh...)

"why would you need to? you shouldn't do things to just prove people wrong"

the fight escalates, shizuku makes some points about canon l/n and shiho makes some points about being a model/idol. it ends with shiho locking herself in her room.

-if they're ever in the same place, things get very tense (like dinner with your parents when you know theyre going to ask you want to do with your life)

EVENTS

design for soul and heart! - post 1st anni

character boost - emu (focus), shizuku, airi, shiho, city luka

-so um what happens is that emu sees a fashion poster. is thinking about it ALL week when she sees shizuku at school

-thinks "ohhhh that lady is really pretty maybe she'd be interested"

-she meets airi and shiho at pxl and invites them too. she didn't tell them shizuku was there though

-awkward silence between idols and glaring between sisters. however emu makes them all work together

-emu figured out the problem and was really confused (she and her sister get along really well?!!?)

and hinomoris have some sort of silent agreement to not talk about it in public

glistening snow over silent tears - pre 2nd anni

character boost: shiho (focus), tsukasa, honami, shizuku, stage MEIKO

-itsssss snowing! first snow of the year!! shiho gets happy lil memories of her and shizuku. event sad speedrun any %.

-tsukasa notices her being down during midnight calls and decides to talk to her. mental breakdown over a voice call at 2 am? thats what i call modern

-hinomori sibling relationship reveal

-feeling a bit better after the talk, shiho confesses in honami. they are friends again!

-now that i think about it shiho is by far having the most character development in mds at least.

-flashback to mds call, shizuku overheard shiho crying over the call. hmmm i wonder who those people are... CLIFFHANGER BABEY

take my hand, so our dreams fly further - post 3rd anni

character boost: shizuku (focus), shiho, rui, toya, studio rin

-shizuku decides to confront shihom maybe about the midnight calls. maybe about the fight. maybe about the wishes for earlier times. maybe about everything?

-however she doesn't know how to approach so she goes to rui. he's like "oh im not sure i can help but i think i know someone who does :3"

-toya. spoiler alert its toya because tenma and he has brothers and horrible parents and hes friends with shiho. this wasnt planned beforehand i promise

-with a bit of pondering, shizuku finally decides to do it straightforward

-the conversation is up to interpretation (i am not creative) but after that their relationship is something between canon shinonomes and canon hinomoris

MUST KEEP COMPOSING...i feel like a kanade right now (tired) but i will probably have shinonomes done in a few days. no promises for designs

(also!! update on colorfes pulls. i got ena1, kohane3??? (one sheep) akito, banner ichika, tsukasa, minori (twice), colorfes KAITO, and a saki dupe in 33k. one day colorfes shiho and sunflower akito WILL come home but hey at least i have a 4star akito card)

have a great day mod!!! you will get through it!!!

🌐 anon

.

[quirkle2]

love your mogami arc thoughts… do you think there’s a parallel between the irrationality of mogami’s actions and how ritsu acts in big cleanup arc? Like neither of them make sense really but it doesn’t have to because it’s an expression of deep seated stress and guilt

[context]

it took a couple of watches for me to actually Get cleanup arc, but i do think clean up arc makes sense. maybe not from a logical point of view, but given ritsu's history of trauma and perfectionism, pressure to never act out or upset his brother for obvious reasons, and desperation for control in his own life, i think ritsu's actions made sense. they were Terrible actions, and they definitely go against the logic and hindsight of an outsider's perspective, but it was all the result of that stress and guilt and secretive hatred toward an aspect of his brother that caused it, and maybe a little bit of grief for a sibling relationship he wishes was still intact

u make a rly interesting point tho, bc Yeah, on your first watch, neither of these guys make sense to you. at least they didn't for me. i understood part of ritsu's reasonings at the beginning, but it sorta delved into... quoting ritsu, "violence for the sake of violence." and honestly??? i don't know Why ritsu's arc is sm more compelling to me than mogami's, bc rly, they're very similar in that way

at least it seems that way? im,,, honestly convinced the exposition for mogami arc was just,, rushed, or incomplete for whatever reason, bc it feels So Close to making sense, but it's just missing a couple of pieces. ritsu's arc has more substance to it, i think. i believe the biggest difference here is that mogami blamed other people for his misfortune, and didn't see anything wrong w what he was doing. ritsu made no such excuses. he Knew what he was doing was wrong, and he kept doing it. and that, to me, is Fascinating

even ritsu's "violence for the sake of violence" motive makes some sort of sense to me. he said it himself: "i was just tired of being myself. maybe i wanted to find out what it would feel like to be a fool." when u break it down, it's him exploring.... other options. until 7th division arc, he's of the mindset that if he had psychic powers he'd be Better, in all aspects, that he's nothing without psychic powers. he puts his entire identity and self-worth on having the abilities of an ESPer

now that he has them, he feels limitless, he feels unstoppable. he's so tired of being himself, of being perfect, of being the well-behaved younger brother w perfect grades and perfect attitude (bc let's face it, he's definitely a gifted kid, and gifted kids tend to develop habits of perfectionism, and eventually become exhausted). so he switches tactics, to find out what it would feel like to be a fool.

i honestly think cutting mogami's messy backstory and making him "evil" for the sake of being "evil" woulda been better. im sure not everyone agrees w me on that, and i can absolutely see why, but sometimes simple is "better" (imo). an underdeveloped villain is better, to Me, than a villain that is trying too hard to have a compelling motive. mogami's character feels like it is trying too hard, and branching out in too many directions, and it ends up just feeling,, stretched thin

i like shimazaki more than mogami. hell, i like shimazaki more than Any of the villains, and we all Know it's not because he has a good backstory (or one at all). he's not even very compelling to me, i just think he's cool, and i'll forever be stoked about how they let a character use teleportation powers right for once. sometimes simple is better

i'm not a fan of any of mob psycho's other villains, but they serve their purpose, and yaknow what, mogami serves his. i think seeing him as an "unreliable narrator" instead is a rly fun way of looking at it

[psychodani23]

Billy Loomis x Reader

A/n: Havent watched scream since i was a little girl but had an idea to write based off a dream i had and Billy seemed like the right fit. If you dont see billy as the right fit then you can either imagine a different slasher/character or request the same imagine but with a character of your choosing

Lately you havent been feeling like yourself you're overworked and just dont have any motivation to do anything like eat, drink, move out of bed. Unbeknowst to you, your best friend Billy Loomis has been really worried about you which everyone knows is out of character to him. Only Stu knows whats really wrong with you and he's been trying to get you to open up about your feelings to Billy but you know he doesnt feel the same way. Billy doesnt treat you the same way that you treat him and so far he's been really oblivious to all the hints you've thrown his way to try and hangout together alone. He always invites Stu to tag along and if Stu bails or says no Billy doesnt wanna be anywhere near you. You dont know what you've done to upset or offend Billy lately but it's really making you miserable and you're crying evrytime you try and feel better and see him hanging off some girl laughing and smiling and twirling their hair.

*knock knock knock* You're confused and get up to answer the door but you regret it as soon as you see Billy and Stu standing there in front of you. "What the hell are you two doing here?" you ask "well you werent answering your phone or replying to any of our texts so we decided to come over and check on you" Billy quetly says "Did you ever consider that maybe i just wanted to be alone? I'm not in the mood to have you two here right now please leave" "yeah thats not happening" Stu says "why not?" you ask him "Because Bily dragged my ass out of bed to ome here and im getting sick and tired of you two pining after one another now for the love of god either tell each other your feelings for one another or so help me i'll take everything you each hold dear and lock them away or burn them" Stu says

You and Billy look at each other in shock. Billy looks like he's gonna kill Stu then he looks at me softly. "He's right. I need to tell you how i feel about you. I'm in love with you and i've been scared to tell you because im afraid i'll mess it up and hurt you and i never want to do that" Billy tells you "Billy i love you too. To be honest i've been down in the dumps because i thought you didnt like me as a friend anymore. Everytime i asked you to hangout you'd always invite Stu along and the times that Stu didnt want to you'd never come over. I wanted to use that time to tell you how i feel and Stu always declined your invite because he knew what i was trying to do. He's been trying to get me to tell you i love you since i found out you were both ghostface" you tell him. Billy looks shocked at your confession then softly smiles. "i've loved you since you found out about us too. You never looked at us as monsters and always helped us in new ways to set up traps around the house so the kids we wanted to kill never got away and you were never afraid to get your hands dirty along with us" Billy confesses

You both look at each other and smile "FOR GODS SAKES KISS" Stu shouts. You both jump and laugh at Stu but do as he says. Billy softly touches you as if hes afraid you're not real. You close the gap between you and kiss him deeply. "Alright now thats all sorted lets order takeout and watch horror films all night" Stu says. He ruined the moment but you all couldnt care less. "Yes we havent done that in forever and you both owe me stu you owe me cuddles and food and you Billy owe me cuddles, kisses and a date" you say to them both. Stu opens his arms for a big cuddle and you dont hesitate to jump into them and tell him what you want to eat. You open your arms for Billy and he cuddles you too and you kiss him on the cheek "How about Friday i pick you up and take you somewhere special?" Billy asks. You smile and say "Yes" then you both share another kiss before settling back down on the couch and enjoying your night with your two favourite boys

A/n sorry if its rubbish. I just got back into writing I'll probably end up rewriting this at a later date

[leggyre]

You got any adivce for someone who's considering dropping drawing completely since they don't like what they're making at all?

honestly i've been in the same struggle recently bc it just hasn't been a good year for me. i haven't been drawing a lot bc most of the time i'm either sick or i just.. can't. I've been picking myself up as of late and it's a really difficult grind, but honestly the fact i've been able to actually start this grind is already good for now. I guess that counts as advice; be patient with yourself. Self-esteem doesn't come easy and the little steps are worth so much more than you think.

ok so uh,

-if you just started, don't think about it too much. we all start with the weird scribbles. if you stop now you might never get back to it -if you've been trying to doodle often and always end up hating the result, just take a break. art block is seasoning for burnout and you might just be tired. a lot of times i've felt bad about my art i kinda "gave up" for a while and when i came back to it it was like "wtf this easy what was my issue (it was burnout)". so take a break, play some videogames or hang out with your friends for a week. idk write essays about the media you like? it feels like you're being unproductive but resting IS part of productive because just pushing yourself will just result in nothing being done at the end of the day. -look at your favorite work! im not quite out of my latest artblock yet because its a tough one(it's been teaming up with depression caused by health problems it suuuuucks :/), but when i went long enough without being able to draw I kinda started feeling like I can't do shit and can't call myself an illustrator at all specially bc what i do isnt that big of a deal compared to others(<- comparison also big mistake remember youre the only one who can make YOUR art), going through my folders and seeing the stuff I like the most gave me a LOT of motivation to keep going, even if I was still unable to start drawing right away. not giving up is so important. -so yeah love your art. focus on drawing things you like because it's a gift from you to you, and you should treat it as such. i know it's really hard to be positive about it all the time but it can be really good to go through all your artwork at the end of a day and look at the things you like about it, even if it isn't much. -on that note, find something you really like drawing!!! back in high school i had massive periods of depression that kept me from drawing but i occasionally found sort of a 'life hack' for myself which were things i was always able to work with even during the worst times. one of them was just.. bees. i just doodled random characters as these bees and made og designs too and it was fun. the other one was using colored pencils instead of a regular one bc i just like colors and it made me happy :] it didnt matter that they always had the same overall shape or if i couldnt erase when i messed up, i was just feeling good being able to draw something that i liked. -experiment more!! expand your palettes and download some new brushes. i even change from my newest to my old busted tablet that still sorta works occasionally because using a tool that feels different is.. refreshing somehow? idk -when you need to get yourself back up, do the little steps at your own pace. do a little doodle every day. it's okay if it's always the same thing. the same character. the exact same idea. it's okay if it sucks or if it's unfinished because you struggled. Just give it little pushes. What matters is to try. and it's okay if you can't do it every day. maybe every other day if you need a slower pace. -and remember. engagement doesn't measure your skill. art is subjective anyways!!!!! i spent YEARS doodling and posting only my ocs and getting little to no notes. i think one of my favorite artworks from the time i had ~100 followers had like 0 notes for the longest time. to be honest i don't even know if it has any likes at all nowadays i'd have to look it up bc it's a bit buried

[albatris]

oh I've got one!! im writing a story right now and I cannot decide whether I want to extend it and add all the little extra bits I've come up with or if I want to end it where I'd planned to and avoid dragging it on for too long and maybe losing my motivation. i would love for some cardly advice, oh great albatris!

hi hello I had a whole ginormous answer typed out for you on mobile and then tumblr ate it..... my explanation of the cards this time round I'm not 100% happy with but I recreated my ramble as best I could :')

anyway welcome welcome hello

this reading sort of. leaned away from the kind of advice I'd usually give surrounding this kind of question, which is "go, hell yeah, do whatever, add all your extra stuff, go wild, wahoo" but I can see where it's coming from ahaha

as always, you decide what's best for yourself and take my readings with as big or as little grain of salt as you'd like :3c

I drew for

What is the likely outcome if you choose to extend your project?

What is the likely outcome if you choose to end your project?

What is some advice for helping you decide?

One clarification card, which I'll get to in a moment

First up, what is the likely outcome if you choose to extend your project?

I drew the Six of Inking Balls Reversed! This card says that this will be a grand and tiring expedition, and at the end of it, or even during, you may find yourself feeling incredibly worn-out and battle-scarred. There is a high chance you will be exhausted by the end of your journey... it will not be easy!! You will need lots of rest.

You may also find that you feel a little lost upon completion of the project, since you have poured so much time and focus into it, maybe more than you meant to... you may have no idea where your next goal is or how to plan for what comes next. That's okay! Don't fret! What you need is time to rest and recover. But ye, this card does speak to a journey that will be exhausting and lengthy, despite the joy and inspiration it will bring.

What is the likely outcome if you choose to end your project?

I drew Death (Stubborn) Reversed! This is. a Card. I chose not to particularly read for the reversed side of this card, as I felt it didn't flow with the rest of the reading. Intuition, babey! Though there is a warning here that speaks to the yearning for the continuation of something that may end up being unhealthy. Either way, this card encompasses the desire to keep things as they are and speaks to not letting go of something... and the advice it comes with is to take stock of what you're keeping close and keeping from dying, and to ask yourself whether you're just drawing things out for the sake of it. This card says that no matter how we prolong things, an ending is eventually inevitable. It's a good time to stop and reflect on your reasons and goals! It might be fine, and you might decide this IS worth continuing, but it could also speak to some anxieties about things coming to an end, or the stagnation of something you are not willing to let go of.

HOWEVER, I did pull this card for 'likely outcome if you choose to end your project' so another possible interpretation is that once you have ended your project, you will feel a yearning to continue it (whether or not this is the healthy choice)... and since this card speaks so much about the desire to keep things as they are, and of stagnation, it could be that once you end this project, you become attached to it in its current "pristine" state despite your restlessness and desire to continue. There is room to expand and grow and explore, and you should embrace the change!

Either way, I think this card represents a genuine desire to continue the project, but comes with a warning to truly examine your reasons, whatever you choose: whether you finish or whether you carry on. And to think carefully about any underlying worries you may have that could be clouding your judgment.

Here is where I pulled a clarification card: the Eight of Tentacles Reversed (which I will not be picturing here because it is Spicy). This is a card of pleasure and indulgence! And tentacles. Reversed, it warns you may become a victim of your own vices and indulging them too often. Upright, of course, this card speaks of indulging yourself fully and doing what feels good, so it's important to strike a balance here. I think it'll be easy to get carried away if you do choose to continue the project and expand on your ideas - this is not always a bad thing! Know when to let loose and know when to reign yourself in. Don't get So caught up in the pleasure and chaos that you lose sight of the bigger picture.

And lastly, what advice is there for helping you decide?

I pulled the High Priestess! With some very vague advice hehe. Listen to your intuition! Your inner voice knows what's up. Allow yourself time and space in solitude and silence to really dig deep into your thoughts on the matter, and follow your gut rather than listen to how others might try to sway you. Get right to the bones of the issue, search the heart of it, and look at the facts that speak to you.

Pay attention to signs in the world around you and synchronicity! Whether or not you believe the universe has a voice and is speaking to you, these signs and signals will help you tune in to what your own thoughts on the matter are.

ok bye o/

[chemmerson]

hello there friends!! i just wanted to chat about smthn real quick and just ignore me if u don’t care lmao

i have gotten a few asks the past couple months asking about primaveral and when the next update will be. thank you to those who have been kind about it and show interest in that story, it really does mean a lot to me.

i also wanted to say im sorry. i have not been writing lately obviously and it’s been a while since i have last updated. and im sorry i haven’t answered them it just stresses me out bc i don’t want to disappoint ppl.

i feel like all i do these days is come on tumblr and complain about how tired i am or how much i want to give up or how hard life is right now. im really sorry about that too and unfortunately that’s just how it is right now and i will try to refrain from doing that from now on lol

i guess what im trying to say is that i don’t know when the next update for primaveral will be. it is very very hard to find motivation for writing or really any of my hobbies lately. i wake up and work and go to classes and do homework and try to take care of myself which is only sometimes successful. im planning my wedding and trying to be an adult. there’s a lot going on and im just sorry lol.

okay that’s really it i guess. sorry for being tired and sad all the time LOL i swear i don’t always feel that way in fact the sun is shining today and i feel sort of alive again.

i hope you’re all taking care of yourself. you deserve it. be kind to yourself and one another <3

[keefwho]

May 30 - 2023

11:55 PM

This morning I awoke to a horrible message. Daisy’s rat Peach died which was extremely sad to hear. I love her rats, and her other pets. It’s almost like I know them, like a friend’s dog you see whenever you go over to visit. It was also very gruesome and I feel so bad she had to go through that. At this point I had already planned drawing a tribute of sorts for Peach, but I had to take care of my other responsibilities first. I had no commissions today but I still did my warmup and finished another summer avatar for myself and fixed my bikini outfit. It was a productive and chill morning. After a small break and a shower, I called Daisy while cleaning and making lunch. She had to leave abruptly and thats when I started working on the drawing for Peach. I tried to put a lot of heart into it, I was trying to let out as much sorrow as I could even though I’ve never actually known her. I’d say I was successful, and glad I could exercise so much emotion. I have to admit that lately I haven’t had many good opportunities to feel very strongly. After that was VRchat time where multiple very irritating people joined. I’m extremely tired of putting up with these bozos, I firmly intend to start speaking up against them. I want my VR time to be fun again, I let these people I don’t like ruin my experience too much. After VR Daisy and I beat the last major temple so far in Zelda, the water temple. 

I meant to do this early but I need to discuss with myself what I intend to do for the next week. 

First of all I actually read back my entire week of journal entries. Reading that one bad day I had was kind of hard. I thought I would cringe at it but instead I felt a sort of empathy for myself. Reading everything I wrote together made me feel a little more like I am actually a dynamic person and that I just fail to see it on a regular basis. So it was a good idea to go over everything again. 

This past week I meant to work on being present and focused on things. I did that to an extent but a flaw with my plan was how vague it was. There were no planned events, just a general thought to keep in mind which gave me little direction. This next week I do have a plan. I want to spend 1 hour each day doing something new and with a focus on myself. Examples could be a game I haven’t played in awhile or ever, or practicing another hobby like my guitar. The goal would be to get out of my comfort zone a little bit and explore something new on my own which might encourage a sense of play or self discovery. It’ll also help to tear me away from some of the thoughts and feelings I know I need a break from. 

Im starting to get desperate and am ready to take more drastic measures to steer myself in a better direction. I want to improve in ways I thought were impossible, using any motivation at my disposal. I thought it might be unhealthy to use external motivation to do something but I think as long as I am on watch for it, I won’t actually do it in an unhealthy way. I know a lot of parents are motivated to do better for their kids. Some people are motivated to do better for other family members, or their community, or a mentor or literally anything else. What gives me true motivation right now is to do better for my closest friends. I want to be able to support them through anything and I can only do that by supporting myself. I think that’s reasonable. 

[lovely-angst]

break ups and break ins

a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol

genre: angst to fluff

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?

word count: 3.7k+

09.16.21

-

"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"

you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."

hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."

"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."

"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."

your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.

"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."

hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.

taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"

words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.

no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.

-

your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.

"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.

"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"

hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"

"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.

"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"

your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."

but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"

"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.

a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.

your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!

"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."

-

your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.

you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?

he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.

"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"

"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"

fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!

but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.

maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?

landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.

staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.

it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.

after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.

well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.

it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.

you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!

letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.

hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.

hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.

hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.

the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.

hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

until mirko deleted the post.

he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.

hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.

"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."

"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"

"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."

hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.

"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"

"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."

-

mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.

and boy, was he busy busy.

it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.

from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.

"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"

hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.

closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."

it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.

hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.

your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?

"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.

"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"

"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."

mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"

"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."

"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.

rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.

which was surprisingly short.

you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.

"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.

screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.

the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.

"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.

you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.

your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.

"hello? (name)?"

"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.

"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.

"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.

squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."

clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.

with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.

from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!

but hawks wasn't close enough.

the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.

"(name)!"

as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.

reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"

glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."

-

"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.

"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."

"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"

"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."

your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."

"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.

"why are you asking?"

"send it my way."

you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"

"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.

"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."

"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."

"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.

"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"

you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."

- e x t r a -

as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!

opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!

"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[0brain0storm0ideas0]

ADHD on DUTY

1. I get distracted easily by outside stimulation (nosies, lights, people and smells) things like-oh that cat is really cute… wait what was I doing again...? When I gets distracted and It takes an few minutes for me to remember what I’m doing in the first place. Let me reload my computer brain again. Ooh now I remember. Time to focus.

2. When I begin a task and it’s too much detailed i can’t remember anything. I hear you, I see you and I have repeated things you said to me but my short time memory are really bad. If someone talks to me between a to c I have most surely forget everything I need to get done. It sometimes takes me a few rounds to bring everything i need to do a cake. “Damn I forgot the eggs. I will be right back.” 5minutes later. “Still not enough eggs?” “Sighs. It’s time for an another trip. Be right back boss.” That why I write down what I need to do in small notes and how I’m going to do this IN PICTURES! Because when I’m hungry/tired/stressed I need very easy clear instructions that in form of visual.

3. I’m an organised mess. I like having every necessary tool on the table before preforming so I don’t have to worry about getting it later or forget that it exists in the room. But! BUT! I will always try clean up after myself and put everything back where they should be. ALWAYS!

4. I can be really hyper focused of things that I really finds interesting or passionate about. That means I will ignore you or get frightened very easily when I’m in the zone. But that doesn’t mean i am being rude or that i don’t like you. I’m really into this tasks that everything just disappears around me including people and especially time.

5. The flipping side is that the things I find difficult or boring are things I can’t seams to find motivation or energy to start. No matter how much I try. It feels like I am walking on shattered glass and it painfully boring. The task are very under stimulating and I only want to get it out of the way and it will take very much time.

6. If you want me to work my best I need some kind of freedom to find a way that works for me. I have try one fit all it doesn’t work for me most of the times. I have found that Effective and Fast doesn’t mix. If you you want fast you get messy. If you want effective you can’t get fast. But you can help me priorities and organised task or give me an to do list. So I can work independently.

7. Internal clock, understanding measurement as in distant/weight that doesn’t exist in my brain naturally. That’s why I need tools as clocks and timer to do my job properly. If I don’t see an physical clock on the wall where I work. I don’t know if im too slow and running out of time. I can’t planning ahead of myself. The future is now and sure I can get the job done but if I don’t know what to do I will do poorly with my work.

8. My mood changes very easily based on my basic needs, environment and people I’m with. Sometimes I just feel deeply about things. Super happy. Super sad. Super angry. Super tired. Super hungry. Super in love. Super hate. Not everyone can handle my extreme emotional roller coaster ride.

9. I can come out as cold hearted to some people. But I don’t like passive aggressive and indirect talking (irony). Get to the point even if it hurts a little. I will appreciate you being honest then you being indirect about things. I respect honesty.

Any topics gets sorted in this category fast by me.

Loves it = we can’t talk about it enough :D

Curious of it = takes all my time and energy.

OK with it = I don’t have any option of it but it’s an nice way to pass the time with.

It’s boring = You lost me or I actively avoid it.

Hates it = Can’t stand it. Don’t want to talk about it Period.

I hate putting on an show for anyone and act like everyone else because I am very truthful with my feelings/thoughts. I talk without filtering. People also say I don’t have an poker face. Which is also why I don’t try hide my true feelings. For good and bad sometimes.

10. When I don’t know what I’m doing I get bored, nervous and stress myself out. BUT When I get too much going on I get paralysed and can’t handle stress easily.

[softboyluvr]

just friends

cedric diggory x female!reader

warnings: angst (ish???), intentional lower caps, that’s all tbh

very few could say they knew someone for forever, someone that knew their weaknesses and helped turn them into strengths. though they, they were the lucky ones. or unlucky ones, depending on who you asked. cedric and her had been inseparable the moment their parents introduced them when they were children.

from then on she always had someone to pick her up when she fell off the swings, a shoulder to cry on and someone who listened unconditionally when it seemed like the voices drowned her. she was lucky to have him.

she brought out the best in him. everyone expected him to be everything all the time, but with her he could be vulnerable. he felt like he could breathe when she was near. he had to see her fall in love with some of the guys in the castle, and then be there for her when it all fell through. he was just never that lucky to have her. at least not completely, she had the best of his moments. when in fourth year his friends teased him for never having had his first kiss she was the one to pull him in by his jersey after winning the first game of the quidditch season, the light drizzle sticking to their hair and making the whole thing seem like a dream to him. she had his first dance at their first ever ball. and most of all she had his heart hanging off a thread on her pinky finger, yet he was never lucky enough to have her completely.

he was resigned actually, no longer eager for the next time she came running to his arms after she realized the last guy wasn’t what she wanted, much less deserved. an eagerness that he knew was wrong and completely selfish but he couldn’t seem to deny. he liked being the guy that lit her those vanilla candles she loved so much and held her through the night.

he didn’t know what deity he had to thank for putting them together in every single class for the past six years. but there he was, letting her draw some sort of happy face kaleidoscope on his hand as he just looked at her with some stupid grin he could never wipe off when they were together. looking at how the tip of her tongue stuck out in concentration and then down to the crystal hanging around her neck. remembering how one saturday she just dragged him to the lake to look for crystals. one of the last days of the summer, the morning sun keeping them warm but not sticky with sweat. the wildflowers around them made the air sweet and the soft swishing of the water in the river filled up their comfortable silence making everything perfect. if he were asked what he thought heaven was like he would think that’s the closest it could ever get. or maybe it was all perfect because he was with her.

he wasn’t surprised when she had to bring him back from his daze and put him to work on the potion slughorn had just spent the last 10 minutes explaining. he was eager to finish brewing the concoction, amortentia was one of their biggest projects of the year. but that was not what motivated him to finish it, neither was it finding out what he was going to smell. he knew exactly what his heart desired, and was not surprised when he smelled vanilla, soft rain and wildflowers. his eagerness was to discover what she was going to describe the potion to smell like. he hoped her heart’s deepest desires pointed towards him like a compass pointing north. he was about to ask when hermione granger, somehow managing to take classes above her level, turned around and asked herself.

he pretended to write some notes on his notebook when he was really waiting for anything that would hint at her fancying him the way he wished she would.

“we must’ve fucked it up because it smells like nothing” and she snorted like it was the funniest thing ever. their conversation carried but he was no longer interested on any sort of gossip the griffindoor carried. he knew the potion had worked, so either she was sick and her nose was all messed up or just didn’t fancy anyone at all. she could’ve also been lying, was it for his sake? did she just not want to share any more fragments of her love life with him and she decided to lie about this to keep some secrecy? was it someone he knew? was it one of their friends? had he introduced her to them?

class ended and the day flew by, whenever she asked about his change in demeanor he brushed her off with a smile and assured her it was all fine, “just tired ‘s all”

he wanted to go down to his room and read, alone, as soon as the school day was over. but he had promised to go with her to this tree they always hung out in when the day was nice. she was talking about things she had noticed throughout the day and when he zoned back into the conversation their tree was closer than he realized and she was talking about potions class.

“i swear i was keeping an eye out for you. i was worried you were sick because someone had slipped some amortentia on your water or something. i mean im surprised no one did” and she sat down leaning on the trunk of the tree. “anyways you never did tell me what it was your heart’s deepest desires were. or who is it that that is for that matter” she was taking some colored pencils out and it seemed like the whole thing was humorous to her. but the question had struck him, she was lying back in class.

she had taken his silence as a cue to keep her chatter going. not paying any mind to how he still hadn’t sat down. “i heard someone say how when slughorn showed the class below us the potion just as a heads up for next year cho chang said she swore she smelled you. i didnt know you guys were that close” and she wiggled her eyebrows at him while taking out some sketch book from her bag. she was really trying to joke with him right now. “she’s really pretty-“

but he cut her off. “why would you lie?”

“i swear! hermione told me all about it after i ran onto her in the bathroom before potions class started. i mean you have been tutoring her for a while now so i don’t know how you didn’t see it coming”

he was silent for a second and she grew uncomfortable of his gaze just lingering. standing up as he started again.

“we didn’t fuck up the bloody potion. but you told granger we did, why did you lie?”

she looked at him for a couple seconds and then laughed. “come on ced, slughorn said the thing was perfect. don’t worry about the grade”

“this is not about a mark and you know it” his tone was so serious it was bordering into stern. it was like his patience was growing thin but she didn’t know what to say, so she just shrugged and looked away.

“didn’t feel like talking about it then”

“we can talk about it now”

“it looks like there’s rain clouds coming”

“what are you trying to avoid?”

she just went to pick up her book, stuffing her things back into her bag. she started the walk back to the castle making him scoff and follow her lead.

“why don’t you want to talk to me?” to her he still sounded defensive. but he was trying his best to mask his vulnerability.

“i do want to talk to you ced. just not about it right now”

“was it someone i know? was it fred? i heard he’s with angelina so that’s a dead end you know”

“cedric just drop it”

“so it was him then”

she groaned and turned to look at him, breaking her stride. her face was burning with what he saw as anger.

“why does it matter so badly to you cedric?”

the thunder quickly ate up the good weather they still had and the air turned chilly. how fitting.

“it just does and i want to know”

“it really doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t to you either” she was upset about it, maybe her feelings for fred were far deeper than he could guess. he was aware of their friendship, but he never knew how close they had grown to be. maybe him being a tutor pushed her to finding someone new, some new more interesting friend. “i really don’t get why you’re blowing this to be such a big deal when cho-“

“it is a big deal to me” he chuckled and he saw the drizzle before he could feel it. “it’s a big deal to me when all i could smell on the thing was wildflowers and fresh rain” he let a breath out, his voice lowering back to its usual tone. no longer exasperated but tired. “fresh rain and vanilla”

she just stood there. quiet. looking at him. a couple steps and he had broken the distance between them. placing his hands on her shoulders and running them down to her hands.

“so please, just please tell me what it was for you”

“lilacs” she looked up at him and met his gaze. the flowers his mother had planted around the swing sets were lilacs, the flowers she tucked on his suit pocket on their first dance were lilacs. but he still couldn’t let his heart jump to conclusions. she took in the silence and looked forward, staring at his chest rather than looking at him in the eyes. the blow was coming. “warm sheets and fresh rain”

she smiled at the irony of the drizzle that covered her hair at the moment and dared to peek at him from under her lashes. he was puzzled by the last one. she kept looking down at his hands holding hers.

“that was my first kiss too you know, you never really asked and i guess i never told you. but i knew you were tired of everyone teasing you for it so i guessed you wouldn’t mind as long as you got it over with” she was rambling and he smiled. the rain coating her lashes reminded him of the first time, he let go of her hand and took her chin between his pointer and thumb. tilting her head up to look at him, moving his hand to run through her hair and finally cupping her face. running his thumb over her cheek. it was like he was getting a do over, and he wanted to take his time this time around. she looked into his eyes and then glanced down to his lips. he didn’t waste more time before his other hand flew to the free side of her face and his lips were on hers. her hands on his shoulders pulling him impossibly closer to her.

he cursed his lungs for preventing him from staying there, causing him to pull away slightly. she opened her eyes to see him looking at her already. he took in how the water droplets stuck to her hair and the smile that danced on her face.

her eyebrows shot up a little “took you long enough” her teasing smile made him let out a loud laugh.

he hummed and nodded. feigning seriousness “maybe” he looked at her with a teasing smile of his own. “but not nearly as long as it took you, now did it”

her eyebrows shot up and she let out a surprised laugh. he admired her for a second more before he leaned down to kiss her again. missing how she quickly ducked and escaped his grasp. starting to sprint through the grass towards the castle. he chased behind her as they both laughed at the water splashing around their feet and starting to soak them up slowly. she looked back at him and playfully screamed, booking it through the courtyard and slipping past the few people that were still out enjoying the soft rain.

their friends quickly spotted the pair, not surprised by their behavior but intrigued as to what had caused the giant to chase after her through the rain. watching as he was catching up to her when she had almost reached the group, which was seated waiting for them next to one of the arches surrounding the courtyard. staying safe from the rain under the roof. they all playfully looked at her catching her breath, not amused at all by their games when he reached her. hair sticking to his forehead and robes drenched just like hers. she yelped as he picked her up and spun her around, their friends getting ready to listen to whatever story was behind their chase.

the story telling itself when he set her down softly and pulled her in for a quick kiss. their bubble of happiness not popping but encasing all of their friends as well. no questions were needed, the happiness just flowed and bubbled.

he swung his arm over her shoulders. pulling her into his chest as she started the conversation back up. everything had fallen into place for him, and now he could light up candles and tuck her into bed not because she had another unlucky shot at love. but because he was finally lucky enough.

[hoodieofholland]

hey love. I’m obsessed with mob!tom - could you write something where mob Tom and the reader have a really big fight and Tom says something that was really mean and reader storms out and doesn’t come back until late and night and Tom is super worried :) at the beginning angst and at the end fluff.

I actually asked other writers too to write this a while ago but nobody does it and I found your account now and I’m so in love with your writing you are super talented <3

Sorry if my English is not really good- it’s not my first language

A/n: dear anon, you were reading my mind! I was actually procrastinating with a draft of some angst with mob!tom for a while, and you just motivated me to write it again hahah im obsessed with mob!tom too btw, no shame on this lol. Thanks for requesting, hope you like it!

Masterlist Request/tell me your thoughts on this

Warnings bellow the cut!

Warnings: angst, language, mention of gun.

You throw your purse over the table as you storm inside the house, walking up to your room with a stern face, straightened back and confident steps, without saying a word. Tom watched you from behind, sighing as he knew what was about to come - you were pissed.

He followed you slowly, not wanting to hurry the fight that was about to come. He knew pretty well what he has done tonight, but wasn’t planning on apologize, as he was also sure he wasn’t wrong about it.

By the time he reached the main room, you were already in the closet, taking off your jewels and putting them inside their boxes. “Baby”, he called you, but you didn’t raise your head.

Your gesturing was obviously stating your humor - or the lack of it. You wasn’t being so careful with the expensive belongings, as you always made sure to be.

“Baby”, Tom tried again, sighing this time, “Can you at least tell me what the hell did I do?”

That was the breakpoint. You lifted your head to look at him sternly. “Seriously? You gonna really act like you don’t know?”

He snorts, running a hand through his brown curls. “I mean, I know. I just don’t get why you’re so upset about it”

You laugh humorless. “I’m upset ‘cause you fucking treated me like a doll, Tom. That’s why I’m upset about it!”

“What?”, he snapped, narrowing his eyes. “What the fuck, I just told that asshole of a waiter to get his shit together instead of eye-fucking you. For God’s sake, what’s wrong with that?”

"Well, maybe the fact that you made a scene in front of the manager because you were jealous?" You shout, shaking your hands. "Should I tell you the obvious fact that this man is probably fired now because of your speech?".

Tom was growing mad. He couldn't believe you were defending the guy who was flirting with you the whole dinner.

Turns out that what was supposed to be a calm and relaxing dinner quickly became something distasteful, as Tom took notice of the waiter that was serving your table that night looking at you with a dumb smile on his face the entire time. He could even see the guy talking to some other workers about you, staring at you like you were some kind of meal. So Tom did what he thought was right - he made it very clear that you were his girl and a employee shouldn't be looking at you like that.

"I don't give a single fuck if he's unemployed right now. He should take this as a lesson to not disrespect you or any other woman in his workplace", Tom said, undoing his tie and throwing it in anywhere in the wardrobe. He was tired and pissed with the whole situation - and, more important, with you, for making a big deal out of it.

"Disrespect me, or disrespect you, Tom?", you snap, eyes wide with anger. "Cause it didn't look like you were worried about me. Cause all I wanted was a peaceful dinner with my boyfriend, who actually never seems to be available to me, and you made it pretty hard for me to enjoy, just because you were mad for a guy possibly be flirting with your girl! Like I fucking belonged to you!"

"Oh, fuck off, y/n", he hissed, walking past the closet's door and going straight to the bathroom. "It's obvious I'd be pissed for the it too. You're my girl, and I don't think it's nice if other man look at you like that! Don't act like you've never done it too".

You followed him, yelling next. "Shit, you're unbelievable! What is it? Nobody can look at Tom Holland's girl? Because you're the great motherfucker mobster and I'm your fucking prize?"

Tom turned his body to glance at you again. He pointed a finger at you, eyes serious and penetrating. "I've never said it. That's not how I see this".

"Oh, really? So you care to explain me why do you keep doing that? We barely spend time together now, Tom, and when we finally get to have a nice night out, you make sure to state that I'm yours and that no other man can lay an eye on me", you sniff, unable to keep the cracked voice from coming out and show how upset you felt about it. "I don't like to feel that I'm waiting for you like a goddamn doll, Tom".

"Well, darling, I'm sorry if I'm not being enough, but that's how real world works", his voice is cold and he is avoiding looking into your eyes, his jaw clenched in a way that make it clear that he's not satisfied with the conversation's rumor. "I made it pretty clear when we first met that my job doesn't allow me to be here the entire time, so what the fuck do you expect me to do? Or do you think that this nice house and the maids, and all the fucking jewels I give you come for free? Tell me, y/n, what the hell you want from me?"

You watch his usually soft features whenever you were around turning into the one he used with his men. The veins in his neck visible, his pupils huge and thin lips trembling with anger. Tom has never spoken to you that way, and you could feel the pressure on your chest with the pain from his harsh words.

A couple of tears rolled down your cheeks and you were quick to rub them away with the back of your hand. Noticing the way you pressed your lips together lightly, Tom's face softened and he realized his posture and tone.

"I don't- I don't know, Tom", you say in a low, croaky voice. "Think I just wanted us to be a couple. I'm truly sorry if that's too much to ask you for".

His heart pained at your words and he took a few steps in your direction. "Darling, no, that's not what I-"

You stopped him, putting your arm in front of you and shaking your head. "No, that's exactly what you wanted to say. I don't know what I had in mind when we started dating, nor what I was thinking when I agreed to move in here, but I don't want to be between you and your job anymore".

He stared at you, unaware of what you were about to do, thinking about what to say. He didn't want to fight with you like that, but didn't want you to think that what you've said is true neither.

You walked past him and straight to the closet again, picking up your suitcase and grabbing a few clothes from the wardrobe. Tom watched you for a few seconds, startled, and then started to panic.

"What are you doing?"

You ignored him, trying to think what you'd possibly need to get to stay out tonight. You could get the rest of your things later, but right now you just wanted to get out of that house.

"Y/n, love, what are you doing?" He asked in desperation, reaching your arm and trying to pull you away from the wardrobe, but you just shrugged his touch off.

"What does it look like? I'm leaving, Tom! If you can't conciliate our relationship with your job, then I guess I have nothing to do here anymore". You say through gritted teeth.

"What?!" He breathed out. "Darling, you can't leave like-"

"Don't you fucking call me darling!"

Tom stops and stares at you, blinking. His mouth is agape, trying to get his thoughts together. You didn't stop packing, and when he saw the determination in your actions, he simply couldn't contain the anger growing on his chest.

"Know what? Go. Leave me! Get the fuck out of this house. I don't fucking care!" He yelled, and you jumped slightly at the sound of his guttural voice.

You wiped some of new tears and nodded once, not minding to get anything else as you closed your suitcase and walked out of the room, hands shaking from the emotions you were so hardly trying to refrain.

But before you could step out of the room and go down on the stairs, you turn around to see he stagnant at the same spot. "Fuck you, Tom. You can take all this damn jewelry. Take this, the clothes, and everything else you bought me. If I can't have you, these don't mean a single thing to me. I'm not a fucking doll, Tom".

You left, and he couldn't move for minutes straight.

*********

The night passed by and Tom didn't hear from you. He checked his phone more times than he liked to admit, but you didn't answer any calls, any messages. Nothing. He didn't even realize what time he fell asleep on the couch, waiting for some sort of sign from you, but in the morning, when he rolled out of it, his heart pounded in his chest at the realization that you were nowhere to be seen.

He asked Harrison, his best mate and the second person you most chatted with in the house, if he has seen you, but he didn't have anything. So Tom waited, trying to focus on his work for the morning and the evening, as he thought that maybe you just wanted some time to think clearer. He regretted saying those things to you already, knowing that none of that was true. Obviously he did care if you were there in the morning. He wanted to wake up with you by his side like every other day. It was all that mattered for him after all. Not the money, not the jewel, not the house. It all didn't make sense when you weren't there.

And he felt so sick thinking that you truly believed he was seeing you as a prize, as a doll that would stand beautifully waiting for him at the end of the day. He knew he should have persisted and said that you weren't right, that he loved you so much that he could take a bullet for you, right on his chest. He'd do anything for you, but didn't seem to know how to put that in words when it comes to a fight.

"Fuck!" He shouted when alone in his office, hands collapsing on the desk. It was past seven at night and he hadn't heard from you. A whole fucking day. He asked Harrison to send the men to look for you. He wouldn't force you coming back home, but he needed to be sure you were alright.

All the bad thoughts he could have were now successfully running through his mind and driving him nuts. He thought that maybe some rival mobster could have laid eyes on you, all by yourself, and tried to do something. You could be in serious danger right now, and Tom wouldn't forgive himself if that was the case.

He took a drink. He needed to clear his mind as time was passing by and his men didn't have any information about you. Your phone would be filled with unanswered calls from him, even voicemail telling you he was sorry and would do anything if you only called him back to say you were doing fine.

"Please, love, if you're listening to it... fuck, I'm so fucking sorry. I never intended to hurt you. I'm a dumbass, and you don't have to forgive me, but, please, just let me know you're fine and I'll give you your time. Just- please. I need to hear from you, y/n", he recorded, a drink on his hand and the other holding his phone firmly.

When it was 9pm, he decided he was going out to look for you himself. He just couldn't sit there waiting for a call or for his men do to something - he needed to take that pressure of his chest and no one was helping.

He took his gun, called Harrison and a few more man before heading to the living room.

"Alright, we have a few more places left" Tom started his instructions, while shoving his gun at the back of his trousers. "Harrison and I are going to her family's house. You two check in her old friend's place. Doesn't matter how far it is, I don't want you two to come back until you've looked through that fucking town-"

"Tom", Harrison cut him off, coughing a bit to get his attention. He was about to snap at him, when he followed his gaze.

And there you were, standing at the door frame in the living room, a confused expression on your face as you tried to understand what was going on in the middle of the room. Usually, Tom never had meetings in any other area than the conference room.

"What's going on?", you asked bluntly, and Tom releases a deep and relieved breath, so audible that you couldn't not take notice of.

"God, you're here", he breathed out, walking towards you in large steps. You were still mad, but also so confused with his reaction that you couldn't stop him from holding you tightly in his arms. "Fuck, darling, where were you?".

Besides his words being a bit harsh, his voice was soft and caring, worried if anything. He didn't let go of you first, kissing the top of your head for a long minute.

Harrison smiled a little seeing the both of you and dismissed the men out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

"Sorry, you don't need to explain", Tom shook his head and pulled away to look at you. His eyes were bloodshot and tired, a dark circle around it. He brushed your cheeks with the pad of his thumb and furrowed. "Are you okay, though?"

"Yeah, I am- but what was going on?", you insisted.

Tom cupped your face on his hands, still not believing that you were there again. "I was so fucking worried. I thought that something was off, you didn't answer any of my messages or calls... I was heading to a drive with my men to look for you".

You blink a few times, startled that Tom was so concerned all this time.

"I was in a hotel room, actually", you chew in your lower lip, kind of ashamed that you put him through such a concern. "Needed to be alone for a time, so I turned my phone off".

Tom pressed his forehead against yours. "It doesn't matter anymore, darling. It was all my fault", his voice was croaky and you felt your heart pounding inside your chest. "I should never have said those things to you-"

"It's alright, Tom-"

"No, it's not", he shook his head. "Cause it was all lies. I do fucking care if you leave me. I wouldn't stand being away from you, my love. You're everything, everything. And you're right, I don't spend much time with you, and it eats me alive, cause that's what makes me happy, being around you. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, sweetheart. I'm so fucking sorry if I haven't shown you how much you mean to me..."

"Shhh, Tom", you closed your eyes, hugging him by the neck and bringing him closer. "It's okay, I know it. I wasn't thinking straight too, I know you don't treat me like that. I was just too pissed, and yeah, I'd like to spend more time together, but it's alright that you don't-"

He cut you by a sweet kiss pressed on your lips, "Nothing is more important for me than you. I was too mad with that thing in the restaurant to say it right away, but I'll try harder. I'm gonna be here with you, no matter what. Work can wait".

You sigh and pull him closer, breathing his comforting scent.

"My lovely girl", Tom sighs and smile a bit. "You scared the hell out of me".

"You deserved it, idiot" you said and he laughed quietly.

"I love you, darling", he stroked your back, hiding his face in the crock of your neck. "Always".

"Love you too, Tommy".

You spent the rest of the night together, having a nice and cozy dinner at home. Tom never smiled wider than that night, and the following others were fulfilled with his promise - there was always time in your day to spend alone with your boyfriend.

*******

Taglist:

@dreamy-clousds

@pinkrockstar19

@onyourgoddamnleft

@spideyspeaches

@miraclesoflove

@hollands-taste

@zspideyy

[dreamii-yume]

Our lovely sleeping prince birthday is almost upon us, at least when I'm writing this ask so,

Sleepy prince gets to fulfill his one absolute birthday wish on his darling he keeps in his room, (before the party or maybe when it turns midnight on his birthday or after the party while it still is his birthday)

It is WAY upon us, my Love— IM SORRY IM LATE HAHA

Warnings : Yandere | Non-Con | Non-Consensual Touching | Kidnapping | Loss of Virginity

I see Silver being a borderline delusional yandere but still quite lucid at some point. He was confused at first and don’t really mean no harm to the one he loves, but when he turned to his father for some advice, that’s when things got a little bit...Complicated.

I mean, he did have a few doubts when his father was so supportive of his dark intentions of wanting to kidnap his Darling away from everyone else in the world, he was so conflicted of himself back then too. But Lilia was all smiles and giggles, squealing about how romantic it sounded to him that he even provided tips such as shackles and chains as protective “jewelry”. His father was weird, but Silver would be lying if he says that it didn’t make him feel at least slightly better about himself. Who was he to doubt the words of his father who knew so much about the world anyway?

Silver was never one to hurt you intentionally as he understood why you acted so strongly against his advances. Even when you yell for him to let go of you or inflict some sort of damage on him in some way, his patience was impeccable. He’d unconsciously overpower you when he wants to though, his strong arms wrapping around your body, making it smaller than it really is. He’d lay his head on your lap and fall asleep without even trying, but when you try to push him off, he’d instantly cling on you so tight that it felt like you were going to break a bone or two. He wasn’t one to shy away from sexual advances either, as per the advice of his father, and his kisses always felt so messy against your mouth.

He believes that he is doing the right thing, your resistance is just another obstacle that he’s yet to tackle. You’ll come to love him eventually, he just needs you to understand that by any means necessary.

Usually, it doesn’t go too far than touching each other though, he was totally the type to have sex only after marriage. The worse that you could remember doing was to pleasure his cock with your hands, occasionally with your mouth as well when he’s feeling extra horny. You can usually make him stop whenever you felt as if he really wanted to put his dick in you and steal your virginity, because he wanted to be all romantic and save your firsts for the best part, right? He wouldn’t want to ruin such a special moment, right...? But for some reason, it wasn’t working the way you wanted it to be this time around, Silver on his birthday felt different than usual. When you heard his drive was motivated once again by his ever-so mischievous father, it suddenly made so much more sense.

“If you really wanted to do it because you love her that much, then I don’t see the reason why you are willing to hold yourself back~”

I’d imagine he’d still want to make it as romantic as possible though, apologizing for being so impatient because you were too tempting to resist. He’ll set up the mood when the moon is fully out and treating you to a relaxing bath and a filling meal prior. He’d probably reach that point where he already believes that you are as in love with him as much as he does for you by how long you’ve been confined in his room, that the reason why you’ve been avoiding sex was because you were insecure and nervous. However, you’ve doing all those lewd acts with him before, haven’t you? Sucking his cock like your life depends on it, letting him touch you in your most sensitive spots, and returned all his kisses, it’s all signs that he believed to be leading him onto this moment. Any excuses you spout out now is just nonsensical, a childish tantrum.

That’s why, he had to clasp his hand around your mouth to silence your ear-piercing scream when he pushed into you. You were tight, but wet enough for his cock to slip right through, like you were made perfectly just for him. You struggled as much as you can, but ultimately became weaker and weaker as he began to thrust into you, his tip eventually reaching the depths of your cervix. He felt bad to see tears streaming down your cheeks, he could practically feel your walls stretching to its absolute limits just to accommodate his size so he could imagine how painful it must’ve been. He could even see blood pouring out of you, Lilia said that it was normal, like it was a proof of your virginity being torn away for the first time but he can’t help to wonder if you were okay.

Silver felt good though, his cock was wrapped around your warmth like a blanket and the sensation of dragging along your insides every time he would thrust in was fantastic. It was difficult to stop and it’s a shame to his pride, but he did his best to be gentle and constantly reminded himself to apologize afterwards. He knew how you’re feeling, but swore to make you feel good and doesn’t seem to intend to stop until he fulfills that promise. This was what he wanted after all, to finally claim you as his both inside and outside was his very special birthday wish...And when he finally felt his climax forming, he did not hesitate to cum deep inside you with a powerful thrust, enough to knock your breath out.

Lilia was right, having sex for the first time was such a euphoric experience, a memory that the both of you won’t probably ever forget. He came inside for the first time without any protection whatsoever, risking the possibility of pregnancy and it’s embarrassing for Silver to admit how addictively thrilling an experience it was...But looking down at your trembling body, it seems like that it really did took a toll on you. He still hasn’t pulled out of you just yet, even though his semen was already seeping out of your stuffed hole. Did you have as much fun as he did, he wondered?

...No worries, he can just do it all over again.

You’re seem tired, but it looked like you still have a bit of strength left in you just yet. Especially when you widened your eyes in panic to look up at him as soon as he grabbed your hips again. He only gave you a gentle smile to relay his message back...He promised he won’t stop until you feel as good as he does, didn’t he~?

IM BACK DARLINGS, and I managed to calm the amount of workloads I have lol I’ll try to continue writing hornii because I am VERY- OMG.