#im too lazy to edit her so that she talks right now

[garlicisgodsbestinvention]

perfect dimensions

(Carmy x Designer!Reader)

Summary: The Bear is weeks from opening, and Sugar hires an interior designer to bring the vision to life. Part 1/3.

Warnings: cursing, WILL contain smut later 👀NO use of Y/N because this is the 21st century. Carmy x female!reader, reader is described as having longer hair but that’s it for physical descriptions. NOT EDITED because I’m lazy girl tehe

—————————MINORS DNI——————————

“I hired a designer,” Natalie tells them in passing on Thursday, waving a vague hand when both Syd and Carmy open their mouthes to ask, “She’ll be here in like, twenty minutes.”

“Okay, heard, but we already have a design,” Carmy says, gesturing to the wall covered in layouts.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you had a degree in architecture and engineering. Those are fake dimensions, Bear; we don’t know shit about anything, so someone is going to come in and make sure that we’ve got the right fucking shade of white!” Natalie shouts before the office door slams shut, leaving Syd and Camry to stare after her with equal confusion.

“Pregnancy is making her…” Syd starts to say.

“Mean?”

“Yeah, mean. Definitely a little mean,” Sydney sighs, “She’s right though. Vibe doesn’t get us to opening night.”

And that’s how Carmen finds himself stuttering through an introduction from a now much-more-pleasant Natalie when she shows a woman through the front doors.

Carmen extends his hand to you, clearing his throat, nodding like a fucking idiot when you tell him your name.

“Yeah,” he says, “I’m uh, I’m Carmen.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say, mouth spreading into a smile that makes his heart beat a little faster. “Walk me through?”

Natalie takes the lead while Carmy and Syd hang back. One glance at the look on his partner’s face should have sent Carmy scrambling for something else to do, but he’s not fast enough to remove himself from her presence before a laugh is bubbling from between her closed lips and he’s desperately hoping his face isn’t turning red.

“Im, uh, Carmen,” Syd lowers her voice in a mocking tone.

“Fuck right off,” Carmy shakes his head at her.

“You literally forgot your name!”

“I didn’t forget my fuckin’ name—“

“Like oh my god, a pretty girl with pretty eyes appears and you forget how to talk!”

“Are you done?”

“Absolutely not. I can’t wait for Richie to meet her.”

Carmen wishes the day would never come.

Ten minutes later you appear back in the dining room, Fak following close behind with a shit-eating grin that makes Carmy wish he had never gotten out of bed this morning.

“Carmy! Did you know she likes to bake?”

“No, Fak, we’ve only just met. Would you let her do her job?” Carmen sighs, rubbing his fingers into his eyes to stop an oncoming headache. Syd snorts.

“We’ll chat more later, Neil, I promise,” you say.

“You might have just made yourself a new best friend,” Syd laughs.

Carmy looks away the moment your eyes swivel over to his, trying to disguise that he’s staring as best he can.

“So,” you say, “Natalie said you had drawings. May I see?”

Camry’s fingers itch in a weird way, but he manages a nod before striding over to his backpack to pull out the notebook while you scan the wall of swatches and inspiration photos. You nods your head a little, like you’re concocting an idea.

Carmy wants to twirl a finger through the strand of hair hanging loose out of your updo.

“So, uh, this is what I’ve come up with so far.”

He then spends the next ten minutes walking you through each of the drawings, explaining himself a little too thoroughly, and making random comments about lighting and booth fabric. You look intent the whole time, brow furrowed at the page, occasionally pointing and you don’t even have to say anything—Carmy just starts to over explain immediately following the point of your painted fingernail.

When he’s done, you nod your head slowly, the corner of your mouth twitching up. You’re wearing some sort of lipstick that reminds Carmy of the stain of touching a cherry pit.

“These are amazing,” you say finally, and Carmy feels his face heat. “I like the vibe. I love the vibe, actually. Are you a sensitive person?”

You look up at him and Carmy short-circuits.

Syd says yes, at the exact time he says no.

“Conflicting signals,” you say, “Anyone else to weigh in?”

It takes a second for him to realize that you’re making a joke, and he has to shake himself out of a stupor caused completely by the sight of your smile.

“Uh, no, no I’m good. Gimme feedback,” he says, and you reach out to flip the pages back, landing on the entry.

“Great. I’m going to tell you what we need to fix,” you say, straight to the point. “This entry is too small. Either we need to extend out into the sidewalk, or we need to push the kitchen back by at least five or six feet. The bar is going to create a bottleneck right here, and we need to inset these shelves to give you a little more working room. The lighting here needs to be sconces, and the bathroom doors need to slide to maximize space—this is too small for a swinging door.”

Carmen is fully intent on taking in every word you’re saying, but out of the corner of his eye he can’t help but see Syd’s face transform into something mildly resembling devious.

“Heard,” Carmy says, nodding his head as you looks back up. “Let’s rock.”

——————————————————————————

You become a fixture in Carmy’s life in the same way that Sydney or Richie or Nat are, appearing every time he turns the corner and whispering a hello in passing before you start barking orders to the contractors who listen to your every word. Strangely, he can relate. A week ago you told him, Carmen, please decide which side of the bar you want the ice machine on, and do it quickly so I can tell the water guy when he gets here. He’s never made a decision so fast in his life.

Even Nat had popped an eyebrow when he replied, on it, before you’d even really finished your sentence.

Usually, he’s on autopilot—walking in and straight back to the office or the kitchen and hardly ever stopping to notice what’s going on. He’s the first one in and the last one out by design, so he doesn’t even see everyone else arrive until they’re already there.

This morning, though, Carmy walks into the kitchen to see you already there, writing something out in a notebook as Natalie talks, waving her hands wildly.

“Okay, I got you,” you’re saying only glancing up when Carmy’s shoes shuffle too loudly on the floor. “Oh! Good, you’re here. I need you.“

Carmy raises his eyebrows. “Need me?”

“To look at paint swatches,” you say, ushering him into the main dining area. The words ring in his head like bells as he follows you, the scent of your perfume surrounding him as he walks through the crowd of it. You smells so good, and it reminds him of New York City somehow, the faint scent of rain.

He figures that you must have come in even earlier than he and Natalie both, because you’re dressed more casually than usual, and there’s a charm necklace dangling over your tee shirt that he tries to identify when you turn without you realizing he’s staring. He makes out a paintbrush and nothing else.

“Right, so,” you start, gesturing to the wall. There’s a beat of silence with them both staring at the three swatches on the wall, and then Carmy turns towards you.

Your words overlap.

Carmy says, “I hate them.”

At the same moment, you say, “They’re horrible, right?”

Carmy laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, not it.”

“Okay, so hear me out.” You say, leaving his side to pull something from your folder. “Pink.”

“Pink?”

“Like, oyster shell pink. Neutral enough that in the low light it’ll look pale, almost indiscernible from white. And this wall—“ you point to the back where the booths will be and shake your head. “Has to be a mural. It’ll look unfinished if it’s bare.”

Carmy nods along with everything that you say, trying to envision it. “What kind of mural?”

You tilt your head, chewing at your lip. Carmy completely short-circuits for an embarrassingly long second.

“I might have some ideas,” you say in a soft voice, crossing over to the table where you’ve set your things and pulling out a black sketchbook.

“Two artists in residence, huh?” Carmy jokes, his stomach fluttering when you smile.

“Do you draw anything other than food and restaurant interiors?” You ask.

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” you repeat, looking up at him. He knows that you want him to elaborate—he would never admit out loud that he spends the hours he’s not cooking trying to replicate the way your necklace hangs off of your neck and the curve of your wrist.

Occasionally he doesn’t do weird, obsessive, borderline creepy things—sometimes he sketches the buildings outside his window as the sun goes down, or tries to remember what the boat in Copenhagen looked like, or that one place he used to drink coffee at in New York.

Your eyes narrow at him just a little, like you’re trying to read all the things he’s not saying.

He dips his head, half to look at the page you’ve opened the notebook to and half to get out from under the scrutiny of your pretty eyes.

“That’s insane,” Carmy finds himself saying, looking down at the waves of color on the page. “It looks like, almost like wood? Or marble. That’s—fuck, that’s so cool.”

The page is covered in shades of brown and deep green and black, melding together into something that reminds him of tree rings or stained wood panels, muted like an old chinoiserie river painting.

“You could hire someone to change it out seasonally maybe, it’d be cool, but I think something like this would look nice with the color of the wood we picked for the tables—“

“Will you do it?” Carmy asks, fingertips tracing over the edge of the paper and coming away brushed with color—oil pastels. “Could you, I mean, I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it like this.” He tells you, rubbing the tips of his fingers together and watching the color meld together before meeting your eye.

Your mouth is parted, eyes wide as you look at him, and he gets the urge to flick your bottom lip to see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“I,” you start to say, “Yeah. I can do it. If you want me to.”

“I do,” he says, too quickly. “Want you to. Paint it.”

Because what else would he be asking you to do? He wants to throw his entire brain into the blender on high.

“Okay,” you say, “I’ll start tomorrow.”

He makes a mental note to make sure he’s there all day to peer through the windows and watch you work.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Orange Blossoms

Pairing: Buck x Y/N

Word Count: mmmmm I forgot to check and I’m lazy

Notes: Lets see if I actually write this!! I’m literally in the middle of Strawberries and Cream rn, it’s 5/15/24 (now) and I’m just…. Testing the waters with releasing the first chapter P.S I DID NOT EDIT THIS BEFORE POSTING I HATE MYSELF IM DOING IT RN

Chapter 1: Eddie is a Traitor

It was just supposed to be a normal Thursday. Go to work, fight some fires, harass Eddie, go home. Do it all over again the next day. That’s how it was every day and he liked it. Especially the people he worked with, that was his family. 

He’s putting on a different work shirt when he looks up, a girl is standing there with her back to him holding a helmet in her hands. It’s sleek and pink. It’s got the most adorable cat ears on it too. He’s gotta take another look at it. As he walks she turns around, her hair flying over her shoulder. 

It’s like he can hear wedding bells going off in his brain. He shortcircuits immediately as she starts walking towards him. He can hear the soft thud of her shoes, he’s surprised he thought angels had wings. She smiles pleasantly at him, the California sun creating a little halo behind her. Or he’s having a stroke he can’t tell. 

“Hi I’m-” He sticks his hand out and Bobby suddenly steps in front of him 

“No, you aren’t” 

He knew that look. “Come on honey, I’ll introduce you to the others” you waved shyly at Buck as Bobby turned you around by your shoulders and steered you upstairs

Buck stood there, his hand still out as he watched Bobby march you up to Hen and Chimney. You giggled a little at the top of the stairs when you saw him still staring, a dumb look on his face

“You good?” Eddie gave him a high five as he walked by and Buck blinked slowly 

“I think I’m in love” 

Eddie snorted and bumped his side, pushing him out of the way so he could get to his locker 

“Isn’t that like the fourth time this month you’ve said that? Who was it this time” 

He melted on the spot, sighing dreamily and tilting his head to the side 

“It’s…”

Eddie looked at him expectantly 

“It’s uh…”

Eddie put his head against his locker, snickering into the metal 

“You don’t remember?”

“I don’t think she said. I don’t think she had the chance” 

“Why wouldn’t she have had the chance?” 

“Bobby took her upstairs” 

Eddie turned to look at him again. “Are you talking about a girl, about this tall” he holds his hand up midway to his chest “curly pink hair? Skin tanned to the gods” 

“That’s my angel”

“Dude. That’s Athena’s niece” 

It’s like he gets hit by a train and his entire world comes crashing down and really what even was the point in living anymore if he couldn’t have you? He might as well do a sweet flip off a cliff. At least he could go out in a cool way 

“You do know how to backflip,” Eddie says as he shuts his locker 

“Huh?” Buck looks at him now, a little dazed. A weird look on his face

“You were spiraling right? Because you think your life is over now” 

“My life is over now!” 

“No, it’s not.” He takes him by the arm and jogs upstairs, tapping the railing when they get up there. It catches your attention and you turn your head, your hands clasped sweetly in front of you.

Honestly, everything about you was sweet. From your soft pink hair, down to the white platform boots you had on. He liked the purple plaid skirt you had on. With a little purple beret and the matching purple cardigan. You looked like a doll, a very sweet, very cute, doll. God, you were too sweet for him 

“Oh my god. Evan!” His name is shouted at him and he flinches back. Your hand is out towards him, and Eddie is standing behind you with his hands on your shoulders. Bobby has his arms crossed over his chest and Hen and Chim are looking at each other 

“I said this is Y/N” Eddie sounds stressed and that makes Buck blush. He’d gotten lost in you all over again. 

“Oh-oh. Uh Hi I’m, Bevan- no shit Barkley no-no god. Buck. I’m- my name is Evan I- I go by Buck. Hi.”

You’re giggling as he stumbles over his words and god he wishes you wouldn’t do that, it just sounds so cute and you’re making him flustered. Fuck usually he’s so smooth and flirty, what the hell gives??

“Hi Evan” You smile up at him and he swears he’s never seen anything or anyone so pretty 

“You have pretty teeth,” He says dreamily as he’s shaking your hand. Eddie curses under his breath and you laugh, still shaking his hand 

“T-thank you? Um. I brush twice a day!” 

“Oh it shows!! it- it shows. You know that you uh-you take care of yourself and I mean- I could have said I liked your nail polish cause I do!!…it matches your clothes but no! No… I had to- I had to say your teeth” 

You cover your mouth, trying to keep from laughing any harder. He’s so flustered and his cheeks are so pink and you feel a little bad. And he’s literally still shaking your hand. Eddie pulls your hand from his and slaps Buck’s down, giving him a “wtf” look over your head. Buck clears his throat and shoves his hands in his pockets 

“Well! I gotta go fill the truck! You know gotta make it all nice and full of stuff that we need I’m just. I’m gonna go” He points down the stairs and goes running, you wave awkwardly at his retreating figure with a little smile on your face 

“Uh bye! It was nice meeting you!!”

Buck walks out of the station, dumping the bucket of water out onto the pavement. He hadn’t seen you for most of the day and he was glad. 

Okay not that glad, he wanted to stare at you all day, but at least he wasn’t acting like a dumbass anymore 

“Sabrina Carpenter was right. I cannot find my chill. God her teeth?! Seriously??” He mutters to himself as he watches the water soak into the ground. 

“Talking to yourself?” 

You ask as you walk towards him, he spins around watching you walk over. God, even the way you walked, with all the confidence in the world was sexy as hell. 

“Yeah” his voice cracks and you giggle when he lets his head fall back in embarrassment. Fuck was he actually 15 again 

“Whatcha talkin' about?” He notices you’ve got a white mini backpack. It’s cute. God of course it matches your outfit

“Oh you know, your teeth” He visibly cringes and you slap your hand over your mouth trying to control your laughter 

“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad” 

“Yes. Yes, it was. You’re just being nice” 

“I think it was a genuine compliment!” you protest as you stop in front of him. You’re so much shorter than he is, he just wants to put his hand on your head and ruffle your hair. He bets you’d hate that, but god it would be cute 

“It was. A stupid one, but you know, you do have pretty teeth…and nails!” He smiles at you, his cheeks are pink and he’s flustered again but he’s outside and the sun is shining down on you and you’re glowing 

“You have pretty teeth too,” You tell him, smiling and giving him a little wink “and a cute butt!” 

His mouth drops as you walk past him with a smug little smirk “There! Now we both said something embarrassing!” 

He watches you walk over to a pink motorcycle. It’s sexy and sleek and clearly customized. He watches you climb on and start to put on your helmet 

“That’s yours?!” He asks as he jogs over. It’s a little big for you, but you obviously know what you’re doing 

“Of course it is, what do you think?”

“Uh I think I want to be a passenger Princess one day that’s for damn sure” He gives your helmet a little tap with his knuckles 

“Hope you have two of those” 

You giggle and pick a couple pieces of fuzz from the inside of it and toss them aside 

“Actually my white one is coming in today! Maybe I can come pick you up from work sometime and we can mess around” 

“Really? That sounds so cool! He says, he’s forgotten a lot of his nerves now. Now you’re just a pretty girl on a pretty bike 

“Yeah here, gimme your phone!” 

He takes his phone from his pocket and you add your number, you hand it back and flip your hair over your shoulder 

“Here, take a contact photo of me while I look cool” 

He laughs and takes a few steps back while you put your helmet on and do a cute little pose, your head tilted with peace signs 

He snaps the photo and sets it, and then he secretly sets it as his wallpaper too. He gives you a thumbs up and you make a call me sign. He fumbles his phone for a second before calling you 

“You look so freaking cool” He says as soon as you answer, his cheeks flushing again.

“Why thank you”you giggle “Send me a picture of you later so I can have a contact photo for you!” 

“Oh yeah okay sure! Uh-yeah” 

“Can you do me one more favor?” 

“Anything” He says it way too fast 

“I forgot to get Eddie’s number, he invited me for drinks tonight but Uncle Bobby pulled me away too fast to get his number” you’re rolling your eyes at Bobby as Buck’s heart is shattering 

“Uh. Yeah. Yeah sure I can do that. I’ll send it now…I gotta go finish mopping, I’ll see you whenever I suppose. Uh- Bye”

He hangs up before you can say anything and he awkwardly waves bye before running back into the station. He can hear your bike start up, he doesn’t stop hiding behind the doors until he hears you leave. 

He’s not sending that number. 

Ever. 

Okay yes he is because he said he’d do anything but he’s gonna kill Eddie first so you two can’t go out. 

He mopes all the way upstairs, stomping his feet until he gets over to the comfy chairs and flops down in it. He sinks down far into the seat and crossing his arms over his chest. He’s not talking to Eddie for as long as he lives 

“Hey man you got a second” 

“No” 

He turns away and curls up his legs. He barely fits in the chair anymore and Eddie chuckles 

“You poutin’?” Eddie pokes at his thigh

“No” 

“Okay. Anyway have you seen Y/N I need to talk to her”

“No” 

Eddie raises an eyebrow, walking over to stand in front of Buck 

“Hey what’s goin on buddy?” His voice is softer this time, worried that something happened to him. 

“Nothing” 

Buck tries to curl up even tighter but this chair was not built for a man his size throwing a tantrum 

“Buck come on just tell me what’s going on, please?”

“Leave me alone, Judas” 

Eddie’s mouth pops open and he whacks his legs “What did I do?!” 

“I said I didn’t wanna talk about it!” He snaps and Eddie rolls his eyes, he pulls Bucks legs and they fall easily. Now he’s just weirdly slumped and still not moving 

“Buck. Just talk to me, you big fat baby” 

“Why? So you can call your girlfriend?!” He gives him double middle fingers 

“What girlfriend?!” Eddie asks, his eyes squinting 

“Y/N! She wanted me to send her your number!” 

“And have you?”

“No,, I hate you”

“Can you just do it?” 

“Can your mom just do it” 

“Okay you know what-“ Eddie attacks Buck, tickling his sides and Buck shrieks, falling off the chair and laughing as he and Eddie tumble to the floor, Eddie rips his phone from his pocket and opens it

“Oh my god does she know you made her your screensaver?”

He pins Buck and sends you his number, Buck fights his way from Eddie’s hold and punches him in the side, it’s not hard at all but knocks him off 

“How dare you tickle attack me Edmundo Diaz! I thought we were friends”

“You called me Judas!”

“Because you are!!” 

“No I'm not! Asshat! You didn’t even let me talk you just hated me!”

“Yeah because you asked my girl on a date!”

“She’s literally not your girl?? And also it’s not a date dumbass! I was going to ask you if you could come and if not reschedule with her! So you could have some time with her, and I could cover for you sounding like an idiot” 

Buck gasps and slaps his cheeks, his eyes huge 

“Eddieee” he whines and Eddie rolls his eyes, getting off the floor, Buck stands up with him and jumps on him, wrapping his arms and legs around him like a koala. He nearly knocks them over again

“You did that for meee?” 

“I will drop your ass over the railing” 

Buck isn’t sure what to wear so he brings a small mountain of clothes over to Eddie’s house in the form of a large suitcase. He heaves it onto Eddie’s bed and it pops open easily when he unzips it 

“Do you know what she’s wearing?” Buck asks as he watches Eddie go through the suitcase 

“No…” he mumbles distractedly as he sets aside a couple of shirts “But I can call her” 

“Does she know I’m coming?” He twiddles his thumbs nervously, chewing his bottom lip. Eddie flicks his cheek and he stops, frowning at him 

“Yeah she knows. But if you call her it’ll seem like you want to match”

“But if you call her it’ll seem like I asked you to ask for me” 

“Damn you’ve got a point” Eddie sighs, holding the edge of the suitcase 

“Is it just the three of us tonight?” 

“Yeah…but I’ve got an idea” Eddie grabs his phone and texts Hen. He and Buck spend a few minutes going through the suitcase and organizing it before she calls 

“Let me get this straight,” She says on speaker “You want me to pretend like I’m coming for drinks tonight, to find out what color Y/N is wearing so Buck can match her? And then I say oh Karen wanted to go on a date instead whoops can’t make it”

“Yes,” They say in unison 

“...I’ll call you back” 

Buck fist pumps and Eddie chuckles at him 

“You really wanna impress her huh?”

“You know she said I could ride on her motorcycle?” Buck falls back on the bed, holding a pillow tightly to his chest

“Oh god she was so sexy when she got on that bike Eddie, I swear to god I nearly creamed my pants”

“Ew” 

“She looked so, so badass. Which is crazy considering what she was wearing because at first I thought she looked like a doll you know-“

“Buck?” Eddie stares at his phone 

“-And she still looked like a doll even on the bike but she went from a super cute doll to a-

“Buck” he looks up at him, waving his phone in front of his face

“-Super sexy doll. You know what I mean? God, she’s so versatile”

His phone pings and he picks it up “I wonder what she’s gonna-” He stares at the picture Eddie just sent him. You’re standing in front of a mirror with your little peace sign. You’ve got a black mini skirt on with a high slit on the thigh, a black strappy tank top with a corset front and a set of black platform boots. There’s a leather jacket hanging over your arm and a black heart shaped purse. 

“Hen says she said she’s just gotta accessorize and then she’s done” Eddie’s voice is quiet, his jaw would still be on the floor if Buck’s wasn’t already. He starts going through the suitcase, trying to find something. Buck has good options. It’s just hard to be on your level. But they’re both gonna damn well try. 

“I- I think I-“ 

“Buck I swear to god if you creamed your pants I’m gonna throw up”

They show up “fashionably late” to the bar. But really it’s just because after Buck finally recovered he changed at least seven times before they finally decided on the right outfit. He’s wearing a tight fitting black button down with a few of the buttons undone, because Eddie says it showcases his muscles the best and because having the sleeves quartered drives the ladies crazy. He’s got dark black jeans on and his work shoes, which are shined to the gods because in his rush to grab clothes he did not grab shoes. 

They walk in together, with Eddie purposely wearing a little bit of a loser fitting and more relaxed kind of outfit, nice blue jeans, and a flannel. He wore his work shoes so it looks like they rushed but also didn’t rush. Effortlessly putting together a flawless outfit. 

Nailed it. 

“You think she’ll be mad we’re late” Buck’s voice cracks again and Eddie snorts 

“No, she seemed perfectly fine. She’s over there” He points to the booth where you’re sitting, sipping on a fruity-looking drink. 

He leads Buck over, they practiced this so Buck could sort of be revealed. It made sense when they did it at home 

“Hey Y/N! Sorry we’re late” Eddie slides in on the opposite side of the booth and takes off his coat, putting it next to him so Buck is forced to sit by you…oh yeah it’s all going to plan 

“Oh it’s okay! I was a little late myself so it all worked out!” You scoot over a little, patting the bench next to you. He doesn’t miss the way your eyes roll over his body, you bite your lip a little and look away, feeling your cheeks get hot 

“You guys picked a cool place” you clear your throat as Buck sits next to you, putting his arm on the back of the booth to get comfy. He smells good, like the ocean and summer and a little smokey and god does he look good too. 

“Actually it was Bucks's idea. You know what I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna order our drinks at the bar and bring them over” Eddie excuses himself, and the two of you are left alone. You turn your body to face Buck’s, and now it’s his turn for his eyes to roam over your body. You looked stunning in the picture but in person? That was a whole other ball game. 

“You uh- you look pretty Y/N. It’s a really different style from earlier” 

Your cheeks flush and you smile at him a bit shyly “Thanks, I like to wear a lot of different styles actually! It’s fun!” You scoot a little closer to him now, your knees touching 

“You look super good to you know, you um-you clean up pretty well” 

His heart is practically beating out of his chest as he watches you reach for your drink, taking a long slow sip. He notices your hands trembling and frowns 

“Hey, are you okay?” He takes your hands, holding them gently “You’re shaking”

“Uh- I’m, I’m good I’m- I’m so” you pull your hands away quickly and reach for your drink again, he pushes it away a little and hooks your chin with his finger, making you look up at him. He’s staring into your eyes, but he looks worried as his firefighter's brain turns on 

“Have you eaten anything? Your drink seems a little strong for an empty stomach, maybe I should go order you something”

You put your hands on his chest to make him sit back down “No! No that’s okay I’m fine! Uh- I’m- okay” you take a deep breath “Can I be honest with you?” 

“You can tell me anything Y/N. I’m here for you” he turns your palms and kisses them before holding them to his chest to warm them up. 

“Y-you’re making me nervous” you gulp and his eyes widen, his cheeks flush and he lets go of your hands 

“Oh” 

You cringe and he chuckles, scooting closer to you and putting his arm over your shoulders. His scent is intoxicating as it washes over you, the close proximity not helping the tiny buzz you’re getting. 

“So what you’re saying is…I have pretty teeth” 

You laugh loudly, your head falling back against his arm and you smack your hand over your mouth. He leans into your neck laughing with you and giving you a sweet kiss on your cheek 

“Maybe I’ll make you flustered now” He winks and you roll your eyes, the light blush on your cheeks giving you away. 

“You made me flustered when I met you this afternoon. You were just too in your head to notice. I could barely talk to you” 

“I wish you’d made me shy like you were. But instead, you just make me stupid” 

You giggle and lean into him “Sorry about that” 

“S’okay doll, we ended up here together anyway right?” 

Eddie comes back over with a tray, he’s got two drinks and a basket of cheese curds

“Hope you’re not lactose intolerant” he jokes and hands Buck his drink 

“No actually, couldn’t keep me away from cheese even if I was though. Especially fried cheese” 

Buck takes one from the basket and holds it up to your lips

“Let’s soak up some of that alcohol” he watches the way your lips part and your tongue comes out to accept the bite…he can just imagine it wrapped around something else other than a delicious cheese curd. He grunts and turns his head away when he feels Eddie kick him under the table for staring. He knows Eddie knows exactly what he was thinking 

The rest of the night carries on wonderfully, you get to know both men as they tell stories about each other, trying to one up the other and it’s funny as hell. You’re hanging off of Buck by the end of the night just trying to keep yourself from getting kicked from the bar for how loudly you’re laughing. Eddie is laid on the seat, snorting into his coat and Buck is holding onto you tightly as he makes no sounds, trying to start breathing again. 

Eventually you all catch your breath, and just lay there for a bit, still giggling. It’s amazing you’re the only one that’s slightly tipsy, the other two are just idiots and that makes you giggle more. Especially Eddie who was the designated driver. Buck gets up from the booth, helping you up. He catches you as you stumble into his chest, his cheeks burn red when you look up at him, a playful little look in your eyes. He can practically see the little devil horns on your head 

Actually. He can. 

“Have you been wearing these all night??” He pats the little headband and Eddie falls back in his seat laughing again. You crash into Bucks's chest, your face smooshed against the soft material of his shirt as you laugh

“Buck that’s the 6th time you’ve asked that. They came with her drink, the specialty of the month. Devil MAY care?? Remember the one the bartender came up with” 

Buck and Eddie drop you off at Athena’s house and Buck walks you up to the door with his arm around you. He takes the keys from your hand and unlocks it for you before dropping them back in your open palm. He takes a few steps back and puts his hands in his pockets, you turn to look up at him, your hands clasped behind your back 

“I had so much fun tonight. Maybe we can do something else this week? If you’re not busy”

“With just me?” He teases “I’ll see if Eddie is free! Maybe we can go bowling or something” 

“If he’s not that’s okay- I mean. I wouldn’t mind being alone with you,” 

Oh Eddie is definitely not coming. 

“Alright Doll, sounds fun to me. I’ll call you and we can plan something with or without him” he wiggles his eyebrows as you giggle, and the way you giggle makes him want to kiss you. But he knows for a fact Athena’s got cameras. 

“Well, I uh- I should go…Eddie is probably gettin' tired. You know him, big ole sleepy guy” 

You shake your head, smiling at him “Yeah okay… I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yup…soon” He walks backward carefully, watching you stand there “Go on, get inside cutie”

Hopefully, the cameras didn’t have sound. 

You blush and give him that little wave of yours before turning around and going in 

“Night Buck..”

“Night Doll” 

He’s about to turn around when the door opens and you come running back out again, you pull him down to your height and kiss him on the cheek. 

He was stunned, to say the least. He melts for you, his body going all jellied and limp. He hurries down the walkway as soon as you’re in the house safe and sound. He’s definitely got a skip in his step as he dances his way back to the car. 

The next morning he’s just as happy as he was when he went to bed, he’s humming as he pours everyone a cup of coffee. Setting them all out on the table with the breakfast Eddie is setting out too. He’s just putting the silverware down when Bobby comes up the stairs, narrowing his eyes at him. 

“Did you call my niece “cutie”

Okay, so the cameras did have sound. 

[imbestforyou]

you belong with me

pairing: jj maybank x bestfriend!reader

summary: reader is in love with jj, but jj’s dating another girl…

warnings: unmutual pining, minor profanity, poorly edited, cliffhanger (sorry i got lazy), short pt. 2 if people want it idk, little angst and fluff

approx. reading time: 8 minutes and 30 seconds

writing inspo: you belong with me (taylor’s version) by taylor swift

masterlist :)

“wait what?” i exclaimed. i was sitting in sarah’s room listening to her talk about her day at the beach with the pogues.

“yes i swear! he brought emily there and had his arm wrapped around her and everything! didn’t even surf, which is crazy for jj.”

“so he must be serious about this girl, right?” i sighed as i layed on her bed. i couldn’t believe it. jj maybank? in a relationship with a kook girl?

“i mean i don’t know much. but if i’m being honest, he didn’t seem that interested in her.” she talked as she curled her hair for her date with john b. i stayed silent. i couldn’t believe it.

————————————————————————————

“hey y/n!” i stopped in my tracks. i knew that voice all too well. and it was the voice of someone i had been ignoring for the past two weeks. i turned slowly to face him.

“hey.” i said looking at the floor. purposely avoiding eye contact. it wasn’t that i didn’t want to see jj, i did. but it hurt to know he was dating someone else. especially emily, someone who was drastically different from me, from all the pogues to be honest.

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. what’s up with that? sarah told me you’ve been sick, but i told her that was bullshit. you haven’t gotten sick since like the 3rd grade.” he grabbed me by the shoulders playfully. i look up to see emily staring at me from the bar.

“uh yeah. i don’t know what happened. probably got it from my parents after they came back from new york.” it was a lie. my parents hadn’t been to new york in ages.

with emily giving me a death stare and jj touching me, i was feeling claustrophobic and a little freaked out, “anyways look i’ll see you later. i have to get home and get some homework done.” i turn around and start walking before he can begin a sentence.

————————————————————————————

you're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

she's going off about something that you said

‘cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

my eyes were closed while i sunbathed on the beach before i was interrupted by another call on my phone.

jj <3 - 3 missed calls

jj <3 - calling now

“hello?”

“y/n? y/n! hey how- how are you doing?” he stutters a bit.

“hey i’m doing fine? are you okay? you sound a little weird.”

“i’m good just pissed at emily.” he huffed.

“ahh emily. so how is your new girlfriend?”

“she’s pissed at me for some lame joke i made with pope. and she called attacking me and shit because i was being a douchebag or something.”

“ha what else is new.” i joke. and he laughs which stops my heart for a minute. i pause then ask,

“what was the joke?” i ask, curious to know why emily would be so upset.

“i told her the dress she was wearing looked like a hospital gown and she got all pissed. wasn’t even a good joke…” he mumbled.

i laughed, he was right. it wasn’t, i could think of thousands of jokes better, but i could tell it must’ve been an attempt to make emily and pope laugh.

“i guess she doesn’t get your humor.”

“guess not…” he sighs then starts again,

“hey l was wondering if you wanted to hang out later. i don’t know i’ve been feeling really distant from you recently.

“yeah i’m sorry about that, um so like with the pogues or…?”

“nah just yo- sorry hold that thought emily’s calling me and i really don’t want to make her more mad. i’ll call you back.”

he never called back.

————————————————————————————

im in the room, it's a typical tuesday night

im listening to the kind of music she doesn't like

and she'll never know your story like I do

a week had passed and he still hadn’t called me. i wasn’t even trying to ignore him anymore, he just was never around. school had ended and summer break had finally begun. and still no call.

as i layed on my bed and sang along to “the blue” by gracie abrams, sarah tries convincing me to talk to jj.

“why don’t you just call him? see what’s up? it’s not like him to be this distant. it’s with john b too, hasn’t been to the chateau recently. and you know how his dad is.”

“a shitty father is what he is.” i spit out. even though i was irritated at jj for not even trying to keep any communication between any of the pogues my hatred for luke will always be worse.

i sit up, “look he’s probably fine and with emily. i’ll talk to john b to get him to chill. but honestly i don’t think jj wants to keep contact with any of us. if he wanted to he would have.”

“i don’t know, you should call him. emily has like tied him up all for herself. have you noticed that?”

but she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts

shes cheer captain and im on the bleachers

dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find

that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

“i mean i think everyone has. or that fact that she’s nothing like any of us and exactly like the type of girl he would make fun of.”

“a kook princess, like what i was.”

“exactly. i don’t want to judge him but why would he go into a relationship with someone who he so obviously doesn’t like?”

“something is up y/n. go figure it out.” she grabbed my car keys and pushed me out the door.

————————————————————————————

standing by and waiting at your back door

all this time, how could you not know, baby?

you belong with me, you belong with me

i take a deep breathe before knocking at his door.

no response. i knock again.

“hello! anyone home?”

“shut the hell u- y/n?” jj opens the door.

“hi- hey i just came to check on you. can i come in?”

he turns back, no doubt looking for his father. “probably not the best idea.”

“yeah- yeah uh wanna go to mine? so we can talk?” he nods and shuts the door behind him. he doesn’t make eye contact but all i can do is stare at the blood on his face and knuckles.

oh, I remember you driving to my house

in the middle of the night

im the one who makes you laugh

when you know you're 'bout to cry

and I know your favorite songs

and you tell me 'bout your dreams

think I know where you belong

think I know it's with me

i unlock my house from the back door to hopefully not make as much noise. my parents couldn’t find out i was sneaking in a boy in the middle of the night. i hurriedly close the door to my room and turn to him.

“are you okay?” i spill out.

“yes.” he’s quiet, that’s not the jj i know.

“you know you can talk to us, right? like any of the pogues, we’re here for you. i’m here for you.” i move closer and touch the blood on his forehead, and he winces. his head is sticky, like if he had been sweating. and i can’t decide whether it’s because of the humidity or if he was fighting with his father. probably both.

“luke?” he just nods. my heart breaks for him. i grab his hand and let him sit on my bed. i grab my first aid kit and rubbing alcohol and get to work on the blood and bruises on his hand and knuckles.

we sit in comfortable silence. but it was mostly me waiting to see if he was going to talk about his dad.

“i didn’t want to ignore you guys.” he speaks so low, i almost couldnt hear him. i kneel down so i can look at his face.

“then why did you?”

“i- i told my dad something, stupid i know. but he blew up on me a couple weeks ago. told me his boss had a nice daughter named emily my age. said if i could get with her, he’d get more money or some shit. i don’t know i guess i wanted to make him proud. so i- i started dating her. kept fucking it up and he would beat the shit out of me. didn’t want you guys to see me like that.”

i sighed. my hands were holding his for comfort. something we’d done since we were kids but felt really unfamiliar now.

“what’d you tell your dad to make him set you up with emily?”

he coughed, “told’m that i loved someone.”

my heart dropped for the second time in two months. why did i even think for a second that’d i’d have a chance? i told myself we belonged together.

“oh.” i got up and released my hands from his. suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. i cleared my throat.

“um well, i have some sleeping bags in my closet and if you want you can sleep in my bed or um whatever feels more com-“

“i told him i loved you.”

[nr1chaedickrider]

'Wicked games'

i got this idea bc of a sana edit.. god bless that editor

Smut, and maybe a bit angst??

cw: somno, getting drunk (the reader), kinda toxic sana??, virginity getting taken

not proofread bc i am very lazy rn...

_______________________________________

You've been friends with Sana for a long time now. Its weird how you two are friends, she is so popular, everyone loves her while you arent really popular.

She is always the talk of your college, its like in gossip girl, everyone is talking about her almost 24/7.

People are always wondering with who she is. She never told anybody about having a relationship, not even you know.

But maybe its better that you dont know it.

_______________________________________

You walk out of your literature class, talking with your new friend, momo. She just came here recently and you both grew close so fast.

"Hey, how about we go out today? You know, for dinner" momo asked you while smiling.

"So its a date?" you jokingly say.

"If you want it to be" she smiles, kissing your cheek and walking away to her next class.

The girl watching bites her lip. She cant let that happen.

_______________________________________

"And then she asked me out!!! can you believe that???" you said excitedly, sitting on Sana's bed.

"Im happy for you" Sana said, looking at her book.

"But are you sure she is the right one?" She asks, looking up to you since she is sitting on the floor.

"You know, she is new. What if she already does something with someone else? You cant trust her that easily"

You look at Sana confused,

"Come on Sana!!! Let me have so fun!" you look at the clock,

"Anyways, i gotta go, i need to get ready for my date" you say teasingly, taking your things and leaving sana's apartment.

"Oh trust me. You will have fun..." she mumbles while she watches you from her window.

_______________________________________

"And then she brought me home and she kissed me!!!!" you say, smiling like a little child while sana eats next to you in the cafeteria. Clenching her teeth.

"ill be back." she says, standing up and walking away.

You look after her confused, maybe she just needs to do something..

And she does.

She needs to do something against momo.

She needs to have you.

Since she is so popular, people would do anything for her. She can definetly use that, cant she...?

_______________________________________

You sigh as Sana shows you the pictures of a girl kissing momo.

"i thought she liked me" you say as Sana puts away her phone and caresses your back with her hand.

"I told you, dont trust her so easily.." She said, looking at you.

"Come on, dont be so sad. She isnt worth it." She puts her hand on your thigh.

"I feel so bad" you say, sighing again as you lean back and your back hits the bedframe of sanas bed.

"How about we go out? for drinks?" she says, smiling.

Of course, your innocent you doesnt think about the Consequences.

"Sure!"

_______________________________________

You didnt expect it to escalate so fast.

You and Sana went to the bar just around the corner, both of you wearing short and tight dresses.

You could feel some glances on your body, not knowing sana was always looking at you. Basically eyefucking you.

Oh she is so excited to have you later.

_______________________________________

"I love you sana you're the best friend i always needed" you say drunkily, hugging her as sana orders two shots.

She only drank one, while you had too many drinks.

"Come on, last one and then we go" she says, smiling as she hands you the shot glass.

"Cheers!!!" you drink it, it burns in your throat. You both stand up, walking out of the bar after sana paid, walking home to her apartment because she is so nice to let you sleep over.

"that was fun" you say, almost falling on the floor while taking off your shoes.

"it really was.." sana smirks, watching you as she leans against the doorframe of her bedroom.

"i feel so hot.." you say, your hand playing with the zipper of your dress that you can hardly reach.

"need some help?" sana asked. There is no difference if she would take it off now or later in bed right?

"yes please.." you slurr, walking to her. She unzips your dress, slowly, while her hot breath hits your bare neck.

You step out of the dress, taking it and putting it on the chair.

"im tired.." you say, jumping on the bed while only wearing your panties. Your cute panties sana absolutely adores..

"Hope you dont mind"

Of course sana wouldnt mind. she is enjoying this more than anyone.

She takes off her dress and sits down on the bed, only wearing a bra and her underwear.

"so tired..." you say, looking at sana as she smiles at you.

"its so hot in here.." you sigh.

"dont worry, it will go away soon." sana whispers, moving a strand of hair away from your face.

Your eyes close, slowly falling asleep.

"You're only mine.." she whispers as she slowly climbs on top of you.

"It worked.." she lets out a chuckle.

She starts kissing your neck, softly. Leaving a trail of wet kisses.

You make it so easy for her to use you...

She moves down, taking one of your nipples in her mouth as she slowly starts to suck on it.

Groping your other breast while she places her knee inbetween your legs, applying pressure on your core with it.

Soft whimpers leaving your mouth as you're asleep. Its the perfect moment for sana.

Its like a dream come true.

She starts to suck on your other nipple, her hand travels down as she rubs the material of your underwear against your clit. Softly and slowly.

She leaves your erected bud, kissing your neck again. Just now she leaves marks..

She needs to show who you belong to, doesnt she?

Taking of your underwear, she kneels down, her tongue circling on your clit.

Your moans get louder, it could make sana cum untouched.

She puts a finger inside of your hole, its so tight around her finger.

"If i would have a cock.. oh god what i would do to you baby..." she whispers as she continues teasing your clit with her tongue. She adds a finger and she slowly starts thrusting in and out of you.

The air gets thicker. Its silent except the sounds of your moans and the wet sounds of your core...

Sana can feel your body arch,

"You're so close to your first orgasm.. how cute...

come on, cum for me. and only me baby" sana says, even though she knows you cant hear her. It turns her on so much..

She curls her fingers inside of you as you climax. Juices flowing out of your hole as she "drinks" them.

Sana looks down and sees how she came too.

She sits down on the bed, kissing your forehead.

"I cant wait to do this again when you're awake.." she whispers, laying down and falling asleep.

_______________________________________

You wake up to the smell of food. You sit upright, leaning against the doorframe. Rubbing your eyes and stretching yourself.

"ugh my head..." you groan. You stand up, noticing that you dont have a shirt on. You take one as you stand infront of the mirror.

"what are these..." you look at the hickeys, being confused why they are there..

"how did you sleep?" sana asks, smiling as she leans against the door.

"what are these sana?" you say, looking at her very confused.

"i have no idea" she answers, shrugging her shoulders.

"dont worry too much, its normal to forget things when you're drunk. Im sure you're gonna remember what happened soon.."

"or maybe in your case you just dont remember..." sana mumbles while smiling.

"what did you say?"

"nothing. come eat" she walks back to the kitchen.

You sigh, putting on the shirt.

Sana has something to do with it. You know it.

[pluralthey]

is there a good place to start if we want to learn about idletry? im very interested in the story and all the bits and pieces revealed so far but i dont know if youve like, stated the basics both about the characters-in-story and how you’re releasing the comic

hi there. unfortunately, idletry became a passion project very abruptly and many details were added very quickly without regard for how long the project would take. once i did realize how large the project was, i decided that i would not even kid myself on the idea of holding in spoilers for the next 5 years, and those two factors combined make the information available very chaotic and slapdash -- somewhat intentionally.

i don't even have the comics tagged separately for easier access among the idletry content -- although, i could go back and give them a separate tag.

i can summarize the story and say that it's about a funny little talking honey badger/tasmanian devil named jessie gaylord who has for the last 10 years of her life been on heavy psychiatric medication in an attempt to mitigate a pervasive delusion that the world is a fictional story. she also has a notorious aggressive streak. these medications work primarily by leaving her so tired that she sleeps most of the time.

the story begins when her medical team has run out of typical medications to try, and they must order an older, more aggressive type of drug which is not commonly used anymore, and has a lengthier process to manufacturing and approving the drug. during this time, she is not on any medication, and she becomes more urgently fixated on convincing people that the delusion is true.

she ends up attempting to contact the writer, who is referred to as God, and she receives a response. she immediately attempts to write the story herself, and she's granted the ability to do anything within the story so long as she can write it out. (the intricacies and limitations of this power have been elaborated upon in a bunch of fragmentary posts, so i won't try to condense it here)

at the end of the first act, she kills the first writer and becomes the new God of her world. the rest of the story is about what she does after acquiring omnipotence, and it heavily features a character named fate -- or shiloh, as jessie calls her -- with whom she enters an intimate relationship.

she has a happy loving family composed of a father named adam, a mother named evelyn, and an older sister named emily. there is a later minor subplot about a cult following who worships her after she becomes God, and this cult is initially organized by an ant called samanthuel -- or samwich, as jessie calls them. these are usually the other characters i mention and i am too lazy to link them right now

the comic itself is currently being written. the script stands at around 51,000 words at the time of writing this as i work on the second act. after it's written, i will let it simmer for a few months and then write a second draft to start to relieve the story of its bloat. depending on its length at that point, i will either need to write a third draft, or i will start drawing the comic.

chances are, during the second draft, i will start to thumbnail or sketch scenes which receive little to no editing, as i know they will likely remain relatively unchanged even through multiple drafts.

the sketch strips are to tide me and an eager audience over in the meantime, but they've sort of dried up as i focus all of my attention on finishing the first draft and taking care of a puppy that was kind of just forced onto me.

i've made a couple of full-length comics before and they have taken years. it is, unfortunately, just the nature of the process. for idletry, i plan to self-publish the comic. i've never published something in print before, so that is the most daunting part for me.

the plan at the moment is to crowdfund this, but, to be frank with you, i no longer pay rent, and i care very much about having this comic as a printed book. i have no issue with paying the cost of printing out of my own pocket by the time it's done and am even anticipating that outcome ahead of time, despite having a pretty reliable audience by now.

i'm on the fence about releasing a digital book version, as i very much want to retain digital color versions of the pages that are more vibrant, but due to the explicit adult content of the story, i don't want it to be free-access.

tl;dr: it's about a lesbian incel with anger issues who's given omnipotence.

i'm still working on the story because i want it to be good.

i'm planning on printing it as a physical comic book once it's done.

[atrwriting]

control -- aemond x highborn!fem!reader

ok a few NOTES because im feral 

1) i literally called the last chapter “chapter nine” when this is chapter nine everywhere i posted it and im too lazy to change it but im so embarrassed

2) this is slowly turning into a porn with plot story but honestly the world is bleak and if this brings me joy to write and this bring you joy to read so be it

3) this is barely edited we die like men

as always, warnings, because we don’t fuck around:  SMUT!, dubcon because no one can actually consent in this universe, anal, fingering, dirty talk, possessive aemond, aemond is a toxic fuck, talk of rape/assault/sexual harassment, domestic violence

and now, the actual chapter nine: 

when the prince had said you two were going for a ride, you thought he meant his dragon. to your surprise, he meant horseback.

“my wedding gift to you, wife,” he stated, holding the reins to a beautiful dark black mare.

the excitement of the sight before you took over as you sent your husband the biggest smile and immediately approached the mare. you had ridden before, sure, but you had never had your own horse like your brothers had. this horse, your horse, was soft to the touch, but you could feel her muscles ripple underneath her coat. she was sturdy, and you knew you would feel safe.

“thank you, husband,” you replied, grinning at him. “she’s beautiful.”

“don’t let her fool you, wife,” your husband warned. “i picked her because she has a fire in her eyes that rival yours.”

you smirked. “i see you enjoy many things under your palm that wield such flames, my prince.”

aemond smacked an open palm onto your clothed backside. you yelped before he pulled you in by the hip and slammed your mouths together. he shoved his tongue past your lips and danced with your own tongue. there was passion in each movement of his, but he was gone shortly after he began and left you feeling empty.

aemond, in turn, smacked the backside of your horse. she did not like it as much as you had when he had done it to you. aemond didn’t care, though, he just walked towards his own horse.

you, however, couldn’t help but stare as your horse flung herself back onto her back legs. she stood sturdy, and began to flail her front legs in the air as she let out a loud cry. the sun had caught her beautiful dark color as her hair flowed in the light breeze, and she came down back to the ground with a loud thump. she was silent then, save for a few frustrated grunts, but then she eyed you.

sizing you up.

“he can be big and mean, can’t he, girl?” you smiled, avoiding eye contact with your husband.

she whinied.

“you’ve handled worse, though, haven’t you?”

she said nothing.

you laughed. “i as well.”

you hopped on, and rode with your husband. there was nothing like the same wind flowing through your long brown locks like the ones that you had seen swoosh through your horse’s. she was sturdy, and road hard and as fast as she could. her strength tested yours, and it would be naive to claim it was easy to let her know you were a match made for her. you would have to earn her, and you knew she was right to treat you as such.

her ride was difficult as she swung you from side to side, and you heard aemond’s laughs over the galloping of the multiple hooves. he saw her rejecting you, and he was laughing at you for it. you sent him a sneer.

asshole.

you’d show him.

you took off then.

you found it easier to have her weight distributed evenly when she was galloping quicker and harder. your shoulders were tense and your thighs were tight around the saddle, a good foundation to fight on when you need to prove those around you wrong. you didn’t need to prove your enemies wrong, or anyone for that matter, but gods be damned if you would also let a creature such as the one beneath you believe that you were not a match for her.

you may not be able to show the men around you what exactly you were capable of, but at least you would know that your own strength would not be trifled with.

your focus was only the view before you, a path of dirt, greenery, and several trees before it had shifted. a glare of blinding white hair was beginning to sneak its way into your peripheral vision, but you paid it no mind. you tried to ignore it and focus on the beauty before you and the promise that it was for strength and freedom. that was until it had found its way past your peripheral, and into your direct line of sight… in front of you, only yards away.

you yanked on your mare’s reins. “my prince!”

the prince dropped from his horse and began to stomp towards you. he only had one eye, and therefore when it glared it should not have been as intimidating as if he had two, but gods be damned if it wasn’t the most threatening thing you had ever seen. what were you to do? nothing. he was your husband. he was not another woman. you had to address him. you had to respect him… if you wished to breathe.

you dismounted your house and held your chin up high.

he yanked you by the upper arm.

“how dare you!”

your brow furrowed. “how dare i?”

“granting you a horse was not a grant of pure freedom, wife,” he spat, eye wild. 

it was the first time you ever bared your teeth at your husband. you could not help the way no amount of oxygen in your lungs would suffice as the breath that left your lips was red and hot. pouring onto his face, you scorned him, because the man refused to give you any personal space as he forced himself so close your body.

“i have never asked you for a thing, but i have given you everything i could and more,” you spat. “and yet you spite me by believing that i would attempt to run away, with you next to me? do you think I am a fool?”

“i do,” he spat. “i fucking do, you insolent witch-“

“i would not leave you!” you snarled with wild eyes. “i am your wife!”

he wrenched you harder then. he tore you from whatever foundation you stood on before and forced you into his close proximity with his hot and heavy breath fanning across your face. his eye, consumed with emotion, was wild as it glared upon you. however, it was not filled with rage as you suspected… but fear.

“escape?” he spat in disbelief. “you think i fear your escape?”

you crunched your eyebrows in confusion at the man before you.

through gritted teeth, he spat once more, “i dare you to find a man that could make you feel more like a woman than I could, my lady wife. i find you absolutely insolent and irrevocably fucking small-minded because you ran from my protection!”

you did not answer. you could not find it in yourself to respond as you could not put your pretty finger on the true meaning of his words. when realization did not show on your face, that made your husband angry. so angry. so angry that the dragon before you flared his nostrils  and grabbed for your throat, wrenching you towards him.

“i lost my beloved boy, and you dare taunt me with the possibility that the one thing i have found even the smallest amount of peace, your company, will be taken by the same men that took my boy? how dare you?!”

your lips parted in realization as your eyes melted before him.

“don’t you fucking dare give me that fucking look, witch!”

you raised a small, shaking hand to cup the wrist that belonged to the hand that held your delicate, soft neck. his grip did not waver, but the side of his upper lip did quirk in anger. you shifted uncomfortably in his grasp, hoping to draw some space between his fingers.

“you’re hurting me, my prince,” you struggled to gasp out, reaching for his forearm. 

“i’m hurting you?” he asked sarcastically, slightly tightening his grip. 

“please,” you gasped once. 

“you resort to begging now?” again, his grip tightened. “how fucking pathetic.”

“my prince-“ you breath was running so short you could barely fight the cough that was threatening to squeeze through his grasp. “my prince, please-“ 

“do you think those men cared when my son begged for his life?” he asked, anger dripping from bud words. “do you think they would care if you would beg for your life?” 

tears were slipping from your eyes as you struggled in his grasp. your voice could no longer utter pleads for mercy, so your eyes did their best. however… there would be no mercy from him. 

“they wouldn’t!” he roared. “they’d cut off your head after they raped your barely breathing body! do you still wish to run from me, princess? aye? from the man that would tear out throats for his kin?” you were not only struggling to keep breathing, but now your wits about you. “for you, my sweet, fucking stupid wife?” 

you beat at his chest at this, but to no avail. 

“shall i show you, here, on the forest floor, what they might do to a pretty face and body like yours?” he spat. “my own brother would not be able to harm a weak body like this because those men would leave you unrecognizable for even wild animals like him.” 

he threw you to the ground then. your mare had kicked at the dirt, and moved towards your husband’s horse who was nibbling on a nearby bush. your husband wasted no time in barreling towards you, an expert at intimidation tactics it seemed. small gasps we’re leaving your lips as you tried to regain your breathe and prepare for more blows to your body and to your ego. 

“i know you feel it, too,” you gushed, as he bent down to hover over you. his knees were planted on either side of you, as were his hands on the sides of your head. 

he spat, “what nonsense are you speaking of, woman?” 

“how crushing the feeling of duty can feel,” you spoke. “to the point where you only see relief in small moments. like on vhagar.”

he clenched his jaw, but his eye did not soften. “duty? what duty do you feel the need to flee from, wife?” 

“i am not fleeing your side, that i am certain of,” you spat. “however, it is crushing to be a woman at times. i receive tastes of strength and vitality that men beneath me are welcome to. i enjoyed the feeling of adrenaline while riding the mare because i was not a small woman, but someone with focus and speed.” 

he lifted his chin at you then, staring down at you from his nose. 

“you are not the only one that has found peace in this union.” you reached up to cup one side of his jaw in your hands, letting a thumb ghost over his cheekbone. “i was not running from you. i wanted us to ride together.” 

his voice was low as he spoke, still eyeing you. “admit it was wrong to wrong from my side.” 

you laughed at that. “please. you could find a new wife if i was cast down.” 

he smacked your hand away at that. he grabbed your wrist in one hand and held it between the two of you. he bared his teeth, like the animal he was, standing over his prey, and you sucked in a sharp breath at this action. “you infuriate me, do you know that?” he seethed. “i have held your company for almost a moon cycle’s time and you make it your duty to find a way to settle under my skin with an unpredictable action. you can play the part in public, but in private, hmm? you curse me, threaten me, fight and ride better than some men and all women i know, and now flee? without realizing the distress it may cause? and then scoff at me, as you lay defenseless on the floor of the forest?” 

he stood then, leaving you on the ground. your husband’s height loomed over you as he blocked the sun’s rays from above. he spat, “find your own way back then. or don’t.” 

he was quick to stand up and begin his walk from you, but you were quicker. you whirled around him to stop him in his tracks. standing before him, you grabbed both of his sleeves to hold him in place. not that it would do much good — if aemond targaryen wanted to move you, he’d just fucking move you. but he stayed in place.

“i could find my way back with little issue, my prince,” you stated. this wasn’t to say you were an excellent tracker, you just noticed he basically took you in a straight line from the castle stables and into the woods. “but i would rather do it at your side, like how i wished we could have rode hard and fast together.” 

he pushed out a huff from his nostrils. “you took off like a wild animal.” he sucked his teeth. “you are supposed to be a princess.” 

you raised an eyebrow at him. “obedient women do not satisfy you, husband. this i know.” 

“this you know?” he remarked. “how do you know i don’t have a thousand women sucking my cock, or bent over tables, when you’re too preoccupied in that little head of yours, hmm?” 

you narrowed your eyes at him. “because you would find more pleasure in your brother’s company if that were true.” he pulled his wrists from you and stepped closer. before he could respond, you kept going. “and i find pleasure in your company because i think you are a good companion, husband,” you gushed, pleading with your eyes and your words. “i meant it when i said you are not the only one who has known peace from our marriage. i… i was so afraid of the idea of you… but then i met you…” 

he laughed, loud and dark. “you were worried the kinslayer would rip you in two, aye?” 

it was the first time you two had ever spoken of it that plainly. you tried to find the words, but it was so hard to think about something that traumatic happening at the hands of your husband. he glared at you, but his eyes awaited a response. when you had no words to say, only a stupid looking open-mouth and watery eyes, the prince almost turned to leave. you grasped his arm once more, and pulled him towards you. 

“stop walking from me!” you attempted to seethe, but it came out more as a cry. “i waited until i had spent enough time with you to drum up my own conclusion of what i think of you, and while you can be a royal asshole, i like being your wife, aemond! please, please don’t walk away…” 

“and yet you run from me,” he remarked with little hesitation, and no concern for your pleading. 

“you’re the only person who’s ever given me agency, aemond,” you replied. “i am an outsider, and yet you gave me responsibility, a dagger, a mare… i wouldn’t run from you. not every woman is like your half-sister and believes that they can just-just… make their own way, as if they wouldn’t need permission from a man to do so.” 

he narrowed his eyes at your statement then. “a woman as insolent as yourself does not believe a woman should rule?” 

you scrunched your eyebrows at him. “husband — i have never believed rhaenyra targaryen should rule.” 

there it was. the truth. the first time you had ever been asked your honest opinion about the subject matter by someone who genuinely wanted to know what you would say. 

“why is that?” he asked, evil playing from his tongue. “she should be your hero.” 

you scoffed before you eyed him. “you know it is not fitting of a woman of my station to speak ill of a member of the royal family.” 

“you husband is asking you why,” he spat. “your lord husband, the prince, is asking you why. answer me.” 

you hesitated as you stared at him. dragon fire danced in his pupil, and you weren’t sure if it was safe to bait him. “her bastards and her lovers are of no consequence to me, husband. i could not care less.” 

he narrowed his eyes at you and stepped closer. “tread carefully when i ask you why, wife. now elaborate.” 

you huffed. “my father used to tell me stories of when he was asked to sponsor her betrothal tours, nameday celebrations… i found her actions prideful. she is prideful, husband, but lacks the intelligence needed not to hurt herself and the ones she loves when she is acting selfishly.” 

aemond let out a hardy laugh at that. “that pride was what caused the riff between her children and i.” 

you looked away from his face at that and hit your lip. what were you supposed to say? oh, is that why you killed your nephew? instead, you ventured, “i suppose that means they were not very nice to you as children.” 

“boys cannot be blamed for the sins of their parents.” he thickly swallowed. “however, the sins they commit as men are their own. i am no exception.” 

you could not tear your eyes away from his then. with your brow furrowed, you searched his face for the correct response to his heavy statement. while he held your gaze, he was not concentrated on the fact that you were struggling to figure out what to say. no… he was tossing and turning words of his own on his tongue. 

“i was wrong to believe that i could completely control and wield the power and strength of a being like vhagar,” he stated. “my mistake has lead to so many losses for my family. for me.” 

“how did it…” you began. “how did… you find each other that day?” 

he swallowed. “i was… i was pledging a betrothal to unite our house with the baratheon’s. i was to marry one of his daughters in exchange for their support. the young prince, lucerys had ventured to lord borros as well. however, he came empty handed-“ 

you laughed at that. you couldn’t help it. aemond raised an eyebrow at your interruption. “the black pride,” you laughed. “asking for the support with nothing to offer? husband, i beg of you — do not jest — they must have tried to offer something —“ 

“i do no such thing, wife,” your husband stated, no humor in his tone. 

“my prince,” you began. “you honestly believe that it was your fault?” 

he narrowed his eye at you, not amused in the slightest. he looked ready to pounce, but you would not give him the chance. 

“gods damn me to each of the seven hells if you dare insult me by believing that you are solely at fault for that,” you spat. “rhaenyra targaryen sent her young son, with no protector, empty handed when she is asking for support? from a high lord, that your family would be asking for as well? husband — vhagar may have been the killing strike, but rhaenyra targaryen’s pride is the reason her son is dead.” 

the attempt was meant to quell whatever guilt he felt, presumably for having a hand in killing his son, but it did not appear to provide comfort to aemond. in fact, he raised his chin at you and looked down his nose at you. you had to act quick. 

“that’s why i do not support her claim as queen,” you stated. “she’s a fucking idiot.” 

your husband allowed a small smirk to tug at the corners of his mouth. “what do you think about a woman ruling on the iron throne?” 

now that was a question. you pondered your many possible answers as there was no doubt your words would have an effect on aemond. you wrestled with the idea of stating what he possibly wanted to hear, or an answer that his family would find fitting, but in the end you decided on the truth. “i was not raised to be a member of the royal family, husband, so i am not sure i am fit to speak on such matters,” you began, “but if i were to give my honest answer, i would have to say i admire women like visenya targaryen. a conqueror and protector in her own right, and for that she earned the title as queen, in my opinion.” 

“would your answer have anything to do with the fact that i ride her mighty dragon, lady wife?” he smiled devilishly. “is this your attempt at bootlicking? i enjoy you low on your knees, wife, but not as pathetically as that.” 

you narrowed your eyes at him as a smirk played at your lips. “i prefer riding leathers to dresses, daggers to knitting needles, and i much rather be on my knees for my dearest husband rather than listen to you insult me. however, if you’re just going to insult me--” you began to walk towards your horse. “i guess i’ll take my leave--”

he grasped your wrist and spun you to face him. with both hands on your upper body, the prince pressed your back into a nearby tree. you sucked in a sharp breath as you stared at his face, clutching at his elbows with your shaking hands. 

“a simple ‘no’ would have sufficed, aemond,” you huffed. 

he pressed you harder into the tree. you winced before realizing it was your cue to shut your mouth. you were ready to fight back, but you obliged. you glanced back at your husband and waited for him to respond. 

“the next time you threaten to walk away from me, i will send you back to your father,” he mused. before you could retort, he continued, “you are the smallest glimmer of peace i have seen in some years, but the headaches you cause me distract me. you are my wife, but i am a prince.” 

“i do not feel at peace when you ask for timidity from me when we are in private,” you spoke. “i have proven i can take care of myself, husband. i promise i will not stray far from you, but i refuse to let you believe i need to be attached at your hip like a babe. you will drive yourself mad believing that will provide you peace, or what you think you really want... control.” 

“do not presume--” 

“husband,” you spoke softly, reaching to hold the side of his face. “let me show you peace. let me be your peace in the small moments like this we have together.” 

you suddenly palmed your husband through his leathers.  

while you did want to please him, part of you also wanted to distract him from being so cross with you. sexually manipulation did not make you a good person, but good people rarely lived. you wanted to survive. 

you made quick work at his breeches. you went to drop to your knees, but your husband had other plans. he pushed your front against the same tree as before and pressed his chest to your back. after ripping the fabric from your body, aemond shoved his entire length into your cunt. 

you gasped in pain as you attempted to grab at the bark to steady yourself. you were not prepared for his size. aemond snaked an arm around your neck, placing your throat in a loose headlock. with the side of his face pressed to yours, he began his murder with words. 

“i am the prince aemond targaryen, rider of the great and mighty vhagar, and father to the rightful heir of the throne, and the last thing that will make me forget that is your pathetic tongue, you witch,” he growled in your ear. “i do have control over you, but not because i have taken it -- because you willfully give it to me, lady wife.” 

his fingertips found your clit. he rubbed rigorous circles onto the sensitive bud as tears began to leak from your eyes. aemond nibbled at the skin of your jaw as he fucked into your cunt relentlessly. the bark of the tree was scraping your skin, but there was nothing in the world that felt better than aemond playing with your sensitive cunt. 

“i hate you,” you cried. “fuck, it feels so good...” 

“go on,” he urged. “give in, wife. admit it was wrong to leave my side, and i’ll fuck an heir into this cunt.” 

“i won’t...” you whined. “i hate you so--”

the prince laughed in your ear. “i beg to differ, wife. the walls of your cunt are clenching around my cock. it seems you want my heir more than I do.” 

“fuck you, aemond,” you spat helplessly, hips already beginning to stir. you tried to fight the overwhelming sense of pleasure, but it was already causing your muscles to tighten in the lower half of your body. “i fucking hate you...”

he ripped his fingers from your clit and began to fuck your cunt in a shallow manner. you began to push back against his hips, hoping to draw more from him, but he wouldn’t give in. you began to reach for his hips to pull you closer, but he held you against the tree. you cried out in frustration. 

“i consider myself merciful, wife, but not today,” he snickered in your ear. “such unbecoming words you have thrown at me...” 

the prince slipped his cock from your folds. you could not see from your spot against the tree, but you could hear the the delicious sounds of your husband stroking his wet cock that was soaked with your juices. as a reflex, your hand found its way between your legs and began to rub circles on your sensitive nub. 

a hard smack came down on the flesh of your ass. 

“ungrateful, taking whatever you please,” he spoke, now holding one ass cheek in each of his hands. grasping at the flesh and pushing to either side, you were fully exposed to him now. you sucked in a sharp breath when you felt a warm, wet thumb prod at your asshole. “i might as well follow your example, wife.” 

“aemond,” you whimpered, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. 

he spat on his thumb once more, and began to fuck your hole with it. the sensation put your nerves on high alert, so intense it was difficult to decipher whether it was painful or pleasurable. 

“so tight for me,” he groaned. “are you going to stop me?” 

“n-no...” you whined once more. “i want... to feel you there.” 

you could feel the tip of his cock poke at your entrance before he began to slide it in ever so slowly. your hole was tighter than your cunt, and had seen even less preparation. every nerve in the lower half of your body was jumping at the sensation of aemond and his large cock, but you didn’t want it to stop. you were hurt, mentally and physically, but this new pain felt so good. so, so good. especially when aemond replaced his fingers with your own. 

“i hate to waste my seed, but to make you cum and have your walls clench around nothing is what i want. i want you to hate the feeling of being empty without me,” he spat. “I want you to feel worse than i did when i thought you left.” 

you whimpered at his words. his fingers were slipping back and forth between your nub and dripping cunt, rubbing the juices all over your clit that created the most delicious combination of friction and pleasure. 

“and i want to make you cry out like a whore when i make you cum from my cock so deep inside your ass,” he groaned. “can you do that for me, doll? can you be a good princess for your prince?”

“anything,” you pathetically whimpered. “i’ll do anything, aemond, just make me feel good...” 

he groaned at your words. “i always win, doll.” 

he was true to his word. aemond targaryen was not merciful. 

everything was more sensitive when aemond had collected your juices from your lonely cunt and used them to lubricate the intense motions he drew on your cunt. the bark scratched against the skin of your face, neck, and palms, but nothing was rougher than the way that aemond’s calloused fingers forced you to take every bit of their pleasure they could offer. 

“fuck, aemond, i’m going... i’m going...” 

“go on,” he grunted, slamming his hips into yours. you could feel his cock in your guts, twitching with every thrust. “give it to me. that’s it, pretty. give in to me.” 

“fuck, fuck, fuck...!” 

he was right. you could feel it. 

warmth had spread throughout the lower half of your body and your mind was sent reeling, yes, and tears had sprung from your eyes from how intense it felt to have so much pain mixed with pleasure, yes, but you never thought aemond would be right about how painful it was to feel your cunt clench around nothing but its own walls. your pussy throbbed continuously with nothing inside of it, forcing a whimper to leave your lips. 

“i will take all of you, as you have taken all of me,” aemond seethed before spilling his hot seed into you. 

- - -

this is so dirty im ashamed ... don’t ever let me out of the house again

- A

[peachyanime]

appears looking at you with autism creature eyes. hello @sangerie your vs bros fankids (one of which i had a hand in making bc. glances at the reblogs/notes in @loopyarts post. i have confessed there fskakfafsga) are really really neat .u.

SPEAKING of loopyarts ty for allowing me to take inspo for nijis kids raid suit fit!! i really liked the softer yellow and the thicker lightning bolts on his pants you gave him so tysm for letting me yoink it <3

uh uhh individual pieces and also design/character rants under the cut bc. i wanna.

RAID SUIT RAMBLING TIME bc i spent the most time on those. also you might be asking 'why is only their hair rendered in those pieces?' well the answer is because i am Lazy. moving on . (/HJHJ i AM lazy but also rendering it further would mess up the colors and i didn't wanna do that lmao. carrying on..)

Ichiji's daughter i am so SO proud of her fit. i did not look up a reference or even inspo ideas at all, that all came from the ole noggin baybeee. anyways she is obviously based off a magical girl(s) fit bc she wants and DESERVES to be. also since Reiju doesn't have any kids of her own (based wine aunt) i also decided to let Little Red have some of her motifs instead of just purely Ichiji's!! primarily the 66 on her pants but also all the pink on her instead of just red :) and obviously she has her dads number and while she DOES have a (white? bc like daddy shes a special little princess /aff) cape i didn't include it here bc it looked reallly bad lmao. but she does have one tucked into the bow probably!! there she is, Sparkling Red Neo!!! (get it.. sparkling instead of sparking... bc magical girl.... im funny i think.) onto Little Ocean Boy

OKAY LET ME TALK ABOUT THE MOST MINISCULE YET MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL TO ME AND ME ALONE FIRST. that being the symbol on the brats belt. it was actually inspired/based off of this post which really stuck with me with me after reading it which i later realized was bc the "that something has been completely reversed" REMINDED ME OF THIS POST OF YOURS. i don't think im especially good at theory crafting but. idk i think there could be Something about how after judge came and turned germa into mercenaries their symbol turned from what once symbolized 'purity' into the skull of war mongers and then BACK to purity after 0124 get germa on the right path... poetry or smthn. ANYWAYS yah shoe shiners got a pretty basic fit bc like i said in the og ask, hes a sora warrior of the sea fan, once he saw the raidsuits irl methinks he'd want to stay pretty close to the og design. HOWEVER he refuses to drop the hat (much to Niji's dismay) and i came up with a reason besides 'its one piece and therefore there's GOTTA be a kid with a weird hat that they're attached to': and that is the fact that it hides his eyebrows. Little Red has the curly brows, all of Yonji's cabbage patch does too, and the brats the only one without. even if literally no one else notices or cares, he wants to hide the fact that he doesn't have em because it Separates him. and he doesn't want that. at all. he really, Really wants to be a part of this family (oh no i made it. angsty). ANYWAYS UHH YAYYY HE HAS A TWO ON HIS HAT (that he sewed on himself which is why i made sure you can see the stitch-lines) BC NIJIS HIS DAD WAHOO YIPPEE :D:D:D Dengeki Blue Neo: little shoe shiner edition!!

UHH second image is just a refined piece of that first doodle i sent you. with lineart and a better color pallet and all. actually looking at it again now i realize i forgot little brats freckles and i am now punching the air bc its too late to fix. just act like they're there. please :,,,) edit: nvm its the next morning i fixed that kjahsdah

i don't even have much to say about the last two because i Think i am Rightgksfjgasjkfa but for the third i think the brats a bad influence on Little Red especially. ALSO FOR THE FOURTH NO I DIDNT FORGET ICHIJIS TATTOO. I AM JUST LAZY. (and I also forgot his tattoo :]) ANOTHER edit: i also. fixed this :]

CHRIST i am incapable of contacting you on Tumblr via any way that includes anything less than 250 words i am so sorry sangerie.. i hope you like these tho cause i really do tbh :3 (PS you have to take literally NONE of what I said here [mostly about shoe shiner] as like.. canon about them?? these are YOUR ocs obvi so please, change Little Red's raidsuit design if you find it unappealing!! make shoe shiner have a backstory of your own!!! i hope that isnt weird or rude to say, i just thought it was important too bc i threw sm at you so strongly ^^' okay thats all tysm for reading this it means to world to me byebye <3)

[storiesofsvu]

Alright, it is time. Im not gonna lie to you, I’m both excited and worried about this episode. Am I more worried about the potential cringe that might happen or the fandom lashing out when they don’t get what they want? I’m honestly not sure.

So like…can we please just remember, we get what we get and fics, video edits, etc can “fix” them and make the endings that we really want. PLEASE don’t be attacking other fans or tagging actors in your posts complaining about shit, lets be polite and friends at the end…

WHY do so many show use the iphone “alarm” sound for major alarms, it honestly drives me insane

We SAW voit going back into his cell so this has got to be a nightmare sequence.

THIS is the singing shit?! Jfc guys

AND there we go with the bullet wound paget teased, now we now that isn’t an issue.

Honestly, this entire intro would have been way more powerful if we hadn’t been shown the jemily sneak peek, cause obvi it’s not whats going on if that happens later on in the ep…

Okay so… Emily either ended up at pen’s or called her up to drink and crashed on that couch and that’s how she ended up there? (obvi drunk cause of the bucket, but I still want more info lol)

Rossi needs like..sleep…and meds… him being in charge of the bau rn isn’t okay. Obvi Emily wasn’t in much better shape, and jj is like going through her own shit but it’s been YEARS of rossi saying he doesn’t want the job and jj has been the interim boss before so like, shouldn’t it just go to her? also like, rossi could/should easily take a step back, chill out, take a day of leave, this isn’t healthy. God everyone on this team needs SO much therapy…

“please im a mom, I’ve seen worse” jj is literally shifting right back into mom mode cause she knows that’s what Emily needs.

Thank GOD for tara to be able to see this, and finally be able to dig into it (hopefully lol)

UGH I FUCKING LVOE TARA SO MUCH WHY DOESN’T SHE GET THE LOVE SHE DESERVES

Like, she KNOWS dave needs help and to talk and is avoiding therapy, but doesn’t really want to open up right away so she just sits with him and lets him know that she’s there…

JJ GRABBING THE CHEETO RIGHT AWAY YESSS

Okay at least there’s explanation as to why this scene is so dark LOL

How did Emily wake up, get snacks, get drunk and get high between the time Penelope left for work and jj get to the apartment. Like, I swear it’s still before noon…. Also … homegirl is SO high…lol

Okay, so, so far I am glad that the scene/scenario was so short, like that arc of this episode is the comedic arc (so far) that keeps the ep light. Yes, it is more paget in Emily than we’re used to seeing, but also, Emily is full on losing her shit and it’s this loose, a little wild, unhinged Emily (that we saw briefly in the ep Saturday when, once again, she was intoxicated) we also at this point in the ep don’t know how/why/when she got high. And things like cbd/gummies/smaller doses are pretty regularly and readily available, correct? (I live in Canada, its all legal here so im not sure on specifications and im too lazy to google it rn lol) OBVI it would be very against fbi protocol, but again, she’s convinced she’s lost her job already… (and we all do some wild/stupid/rash things when we think we’ve lost our jobs/are on the brink of it… trust me..)

I think this is the first time we’ve gotten to see Tara use her doctorate (is that the right word lol) amongst the team and I hope we get to see a lot more of it. Like, let’s remember that she’s a dr!

Ah, okay, its legal in the district… got it. HOWEVER, she does say she uses THC to get her brain to unwind and the way it was said seems like it’s a pretty regular thing?? So like.. does that shit leave your body within 12 or less hours? Or is it fine for a fed to test positive for a lowered amount? Im not good at science so I’m gonna pretend that it’s the same as having a glass of wine or bottle after work lol…

Omg lolololol. Okay, yeah this is very fanfic of them, but I don’t really care, as if Emily got EDIBLE FUCKING CHEETOS. Like of COURSE jj would snag a few of them.. LOL.

How tf is tyler in an interrogation room….

Emily talking about how the longer in the job you lose yourself or your loved ones or more and like.. she’s literally lost all of that multiple times and has still managed to come back and be strong for herself and her team? God im fucking crying.

ALSO sobbing over jj being worried about someone from her kids high school finding the ai porn, cause fuck that somehow didn’t even cross my mind…

Man they are really pushing garvez HARD this season… and I don’t know if I want them dating or besties lol.

Ngl. I honestly am SO much less invested in the case part of these episodes than the personal/friendships… I LOVE Zach and think he’s an incredible actor and when voit is a person and not a hallucination I don’t mind him being a regular, but this whole shit with tyler? Im bored. So bored. I’m bored of this case, I want sicarius gone. S16 was good, it was one mega unsub with a mini unsub per each episode and I liked that cause it was different yet also similar to the same style of 1.0. but this is.. pushing it.

Okay thank GOD tyler didn’t actually go rogue and go in alone, jfc he’s gained some sense.

Man, all these two girls have eaten all day is chips.. they need some actual food LOL. “the ones that came before us, Gideon, hotch” lowkey hate that there has not been a single mention of elle….

 I do love that emily’s team always has her back and wants her to continue to be working with them, but iirc there was some difference to when she was gonna quit with barnes in charge, reid begged her not to leave, jj says “I’ll support you no matter what”

LOL the “I can’t drive..” “well, I can’t…” “rideshare?”

Also im sorry but they’re both SO professional once they get to work and em’s in full business casual?? Maybe more time passed than led on cause they seem pretty sober now lol.

Alright, welp, that’s it. Tonight’s ep was honestly meh. I loved some moments; I hated others and some were super boring. Overall, not the strongest that we’ve had yet this season… who knows what next week holds!

[idiasmentalhealth]

yo so this is really weird but im tryna think of names inspired by cozier songs and I see that you have a case of the hyper fixation so if it suits your fancy could you perhaps like think of some (no pressure at all btw)

i'm not entirely sure if i'll be much help but i will try my best :)

and p.s. a lot of his song reference stories i don't know much about and i'm willing to do some research to understand it but not that much so 😭

(edit note: i wrote this last night and stayed up till like 3am i think and i was gonna proofread it today but i was too busy/lazy and forgot to and i don't wanna take too long to reply so here you go good luck lol) i probably put way more effort into this than you wanted me to from the ask buttt too late now

ok so i'll start with the easier songs (the ones with actual names in the lyrics/title)

1.

"But, still, the mind, rejectin' this new empty space

Fills it with somethin' or someone

No closer could I be to God Or why he would do what he's done"

"What you're given, what you live in Darlin', it finds a way to live in you And your heart, love, has such darkness I feel it in the corners of the room"

Selby: gender-neutral name meaning "manor village; from the willow farm"

note that these songs are inspired by the fictional character De Selby. Hozier describes him as "-this philosopher, this kind of scholar, who's kind of part genius part lunatic. He sees the world through a very dream-like logic." its up to you if you want to name ur character after a song inspired by another character or not lol

here's a cool little description of the name on thebump.com: "Selby is a gender-neutral name of English origin, meaning “manor village.” Softly alluding to a place of dwelling in Yorkshire, England, Selby is a wholesome moniker that feels like home the minute it’s spoken. Selby is also a name linked to Old Norse history and points to a person or thing “from the willow farm.” Known for its connections to the Underworld and Otherworld, willow trees, in all their cosmic wonder, put realms beyond imagination right at our fingertips. Both an abode and a bridge to a land existent only in legends, Selby inspires us to look beyond what our eyes can see but reminds us to stay grounded while we’re at it!"

and hozier's other song "Would That I" also references willow trees so in a way it's inspired by 3 songs?

2.

"Do you think I'd give up

That this might've shook the love from me

Or that I was on the brink?

How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?

Now that it's done

There's not one thing that I would change

My life was a storm, since I was born

How could I fear any hurricane?"

"Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I)"

This song is about the story of Francesca da Ramini in the 2nd circle of hell. Basically Francesca has an affair with Paolo Malasta because of how unpleasant her husband (Paolo's brother) is. Eventually they get found out and her husband kills them. She's saying that even though she's in the 2nd circle of hell (where lustful souls are punished by somekind of hurricane) she doesn't regret loving Paolo and would do it all again. - a summary of a comment on genius.com about the lyrics

Francesca: feminine name meaning "free."

similar names: Francis, Francisca/o

you could also use Paolo (meaning "small; humble) if you want

3.

"I do not have wings, love, I never will

Soarin' over a world you are carryin'

If these heights should bring my fall

Let me be your own

Icarian carrion

If the wind turns, if I hit a squall

Allow the ground to find its brutal way to me

If I should fall, on that day

I only pray, don't fall away from me"

clearly referencing icarus, the man who flew too close to the sun

Icarus: "follower; the one who reaches the sky"

4.

"I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus

When her body was found"

"And I'd be the immediate forgiveness

In Eurydice

Imagine being loved by me"

Orpheus: "the darkness of night"

Eurydice: "wide justice"

similar names: Alice, Justyce, Justin/e

ok now to get more creative

or not. quite a few of his songs reference light/darkness and there are a LOT of names that reference either one of those 😭 here's some examples:

light/shinning/clear/etc:

Phoebe, Clara, Nora, Lucian, Lucius, Elena, Ayla, Claire, Bodhi, Lucia

dark/shadow/etc:

Adriana, Achlys, Akmad, Apollo, Azazel, Asra, Carey, Colin, Corvina, Cronan

now back to "Would That I," he describes 2 kinds of loves in this song: the willow tree and the fire. thr willow being a past love, and the fire being the new that burnst away the attachment to the old. or something like, that im tired.

could always use Willow, which i think is a pretty name.

other names meaning willow tree: Dozier (haha), Arava, Salton, Wellesley, Liu, Wilford, Osier, Vide, Lian, Verba

names meaning fire: Ember, Bedelia (goddess of fire in Celtic mythology), Bridget, Calida, Cyra, Enya, Eliane, Elidth, Elidi, Hestia, Helia, Idalia, Mehri, Soleil, Seraphina, Oriane, Nina (also mentioned in "Nina Cried Power" which is a protest song)

speaking of Nina Cried power, a list of all the names in the song just in case: Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Mavis Staples, Curtis Mayfield, Patti Smith, John Lennon, James Brown, B.B. King, Joni Mitchell, Pete Seeger, Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie. These are all names of musicians who contributed to the battle for equality over the years (Civil Rights Movement and other such protests) not sure if you'd want to name your character one of these since it wouldn't exactly be naming them after a Hozier song, but i felt like i should mention them anyways

other names mentioned in song lyrics but i'm too tired to do more researching rn: Cher, Atlas, Fred, Sergei (Sergei Polunin, the dancer in the music video for "Movement")

[pomgore]

15 questions 15 mutuals lazy edition

thank you for the tags @lordoftherazzles and @tetchy-frog i’ll just do one post because yeah

1: are you named after anyone?

norp! my parents were sort of struggling to come up with a name for me, but in the search they found my name and it clicked

2: when was the last time you cried?

couple weeks ago now, for cathartic purposes

3: do you have kids?

nope, and i should hope not at my age, but maybe in the future i will - i’ve been coming around to the idea of a mini-me for the past few months, i think if i had a kid they’d be pretty cool

4: do you use sarcasm a lot?

absolutely not, autism and sarcasm a happy pom do not make - whenever i do attempt sarcasm it comes off way too real anyway. i would say that i can exaggerate and be facetious when comedy permits, though

5: what’s the first thing you notice about people?

their personality, i think - whether or not i like the way they speak and think dictates whether or not i want to continue talking to that person

6: what’s your eye color?

hazel hazel hazel

7: scary movies or happy endings?

boooooth both both both, im such a horror buff but i cannot stand it if a movie or a story has a bittersweet ending, everyone must live happily ever after forever and ever

8: any special talents?

growing extra teeth

9: where were you born?

the aloha state, big island born-n-raised

10: what are your hobbies?

drawing, writing, absorbing media, and talking to whoever will listen about my favorite tolkien tales

11: any pets?

two chihuahuas, dash and mikey. they do not make me chihaha they are rancid and naughty little rodents (real talk i do love them, but they test me every day)

12: what sports do you play/have played?

none at the moment, but i did soccer with AYSO for about 10 years and danced hula for like 3 years - never went to any competitions but my sister did and won an award at the merrie monarch so im humblebragging on her behalf

13: how tall are you?

a good 5′7′‘, but i wear platform boots every day so with those on i’d be closer to 6 foot

14: favorite subject in school?

generally speaking english, but out of the courses i’m in right now ap studio art is my favorite, my art teacher is such a lovely lovely woman and every time we talk she inspires me - plus i usually do most of my tolkien ranting in ap studio so that’s another point in its favor

15: dream job?

in a perfect world i would be a painter with some rich guy sponsoring me to go ham on canvases galore, but the job i’m aiming for after the end of this semester is a tattoo artist (wish me luck gaddamn)

optional tags for my non-tolkien moots so you guys can get in on the fun: @rin--ren @rockdove-ridge @abyssal-glory and @lemonmans-squeezy (ik we barely talk but go ham)

[euthonia]

stars ; episode ii

shoutout to @nixiebeeeee for dming me !! you're so sweet <3

DISCLAIMER: everything is this story and plot line is entirely fictional. everything here will be entirely plain fluff and sfw, and ranboo is not comfortable with nsfw writings. if ran decides he is uncomfortable with fanfics, this WILL be taken down.

   ranboo pov

Ever since I met Lilia through the discord call accident with Dream, I feel like Liliahas been my friend for years now. I feel closer to her than I do with Tubbo, which I know is a strange thing to say. Whenever she talks, I feel safe. And her laugh, god, it's contagious. The feeling of her laugh just gives me butterflies. But, she's just a friend, Ranboo! Yup, nothing else...

- flashback to the discord vc accident - 

"God, Clay, could your house like, stop growing? Maybe donate a room or two more to me." a female voice sighed, giggling in the background of Clay's mic.

"WOMAN?" Tommy yelled through the mic. I rolled my eyes. Average Tommy moment.

"Wait, what the fuck are you doing- shit. Do you have facecam on?" the voice spoke once again, stuttering through their words.

Dream responded. "No, I don't. No one is streaming right now either, do you want to say hi? It's Niki, Phil, Wilbur, and Ranboo on the call." Why did he say my name like that to them? Whatever, I'm probably just hearing things. 

- present -

As I was thinking, I heard my discord ring. I looked over to my monitor to see y/n was calling me! I quickly answered.

"Hi boo!" Lilia greeted. 

"Hey Lily! What's up?" I asked, spinning around in my chair.

"Okay, so I know we've been friends for a little while, soo..... I was wondering if you wanted to um, f-face reveal?" she stuttered.

"O-oh! Uh-" I started.

"I'm sorry for asking. If you're uncomfortable with it that's totally fine. I really shouldn't have asked-"

I could tell she was nervous. "Lily! It's okay. I'm comfortable."

"Really? I don't wanna make you feel forced, Ranboo." 

I reassured her. "I'm fine with it."

"Okay, then. On the count of three, turn your webcam on."  she replied.

"3."

"2."

"1."

Lilia turned her webcam on at the exact second I did, and oh my god. She was so pretty. Her brown straight hair was slightly covering her face, and she had small freckles covering her face like sprinkles. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of green, with long dark eyelashes. She had a sharp jawline that just perfected her face even more. Her cheeks were also a light shade a pink. Wait, was she blushing- no. No. Stop it Ranboo. 

God. Do I like Lilia?

- time skip brought to you by wilbur soot blowing up a nation -

lily pov 

Wednesday 

I was hanging out in Dream's room scrolling through social media as he finished up editing a video.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you." I looked up from my phone. "A bunch of Dream SMP members are meeting up this Saturday, do you want to come?"

"Yeah! How long is the trip?" I asked.

"About three weeks. All of us will stay in an Air BNB in Brighton. Everything is paid for, so all you have to bring is a laptop, and the average things you would bring for a three week trip." Dream responded, spinning around in his chair to face me.

"Any other things need to bring? Like a mic or monitor?" I said.

"Nope! There's a setup with monitors and everything else there for everyone. It's a pretty big space too, so we're good." 

I got up from Clay's bed, and rushed over to him to give a hug.

"Thank you!"

_________________________________________

short chapter moment.

im rly lazy and i totally didnt work on this chapter and info chapter for a couple months, whaatttt???

fr tho, i work hard on these stories so votes and comments are appreciated! the spotify playlist for this story is in the description if you want a peek at that. :)

stay safe, and please eat and/or drink if you have not already today. love you guys!!! <3

616 words

[creamiceandsugar]

genshin uses unreliable narrators so often in delivering lore from the perspectives of biased characters but somehow players don't understand the concept and be like "the villain said characters XYZ are evil shits so it must be true" meanwhile all the other lore contradicts his perspective...

is this about what i tweeted when i said "is there some mission that makes raiden ei more likable" bc yeah i mean ur right. i think i did say "she threw scaramouche away (at least according to his perspective)" bc i know she's not gonna be like, evil or anything. and the fandom loves her im just? like? behind on the story so im struggling to like her lol.

i mostly just got frustrated the way the story was delivered? i think? and i was emo about scaramouche feeling lonely and high on that yt dude reacting to his boss fight music also it was 2am 😅

i also had a bad time in inazuma in general and i thought her fight was annoying but that's just me. i dont actually care one way or another about her and i dont think she's evil the same way i dont think the archons destroyed khaenri'ah for the fun of it. i AM capable of waiting and seeing how the story shakes out. i also know that everything that comes out of scaramouche's mouth is tinged by him being unhinged i mean he saw a kid dying as a "betrayal" the guy is not well.

i do still simp for him and i wanna give him a hug so idk what to tell you i like the little dude

so, anyways, dont actually feel like i gotta justify myself for tweeting a thing and not liking a character everyone else likes but if that's not what you were talking about then sorry i actually dont know what else it could be

EDIT bc i just ranted to myself very loudly (but i am too lazy to write it out): i also just dont like ei as a character! at least for now! i just dont like her and that's all i have to say about her completely unrelated to the scaramouche thing

[we-are-homestuck]

Also, here’s the base talksprite of Calliope that I made.

Feel free to edit it, however please provide credit if you use it anywhere

Mod Crocker

[moririki]

⤷ MORE THAN YOU'D BARGAIN FOR

DENJI X READER -> 1.7K
when it comes to a fool blinded by love, it sure hurts to have the short end of the stick

REQUEST -> ✰
CONTAINS -> angst, friends with benefits‼️, happy ending bc i'm weak like that, denji not knowing how to process emotions, very loose college!au cos i'm lazy, makima being slightly antagonised because fuck her, mentions of sex but nothing super explicit i don't think
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> thinking about denji's hands. i want to learn how to animate manga panels now so i can do a csm edit. also the writing style got kinda boring im SORRY

HEARTBREAK WAS ALWAYS BOUND TO HAPPEN IN THESE SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS. anyone with a pair of eyes and ears could give a clear answer to the question "who does denji like?" and no matter how much you wanted that answer to change, it would never be you.

even when the blonde boy had been so insistent on his heart belonging to another, he still had urges. so under the influence of one too many bottles of alcohol, it was a fairly easy decision for both of you to fall into bed together. more than once. more than you'd care to admit.

being with denji was nice. he was funny, sweet at times and vulgar during the others, and you found yourself repeating a mantra of don't catch feelings for your friend during your time together. and truth be told, it was hard not to, even when you and denji had finished your business and the topic of conversation always seemed to make its way back to makima.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth when denji acted like nothing had happened between the pair of you in other settings. the bitterness turned sour when you realised that there was no reason for him to have to either, and you cursed yourself when you realised you had done the worst thing possible and gone and fallen for your friend who so clearly wouldn't like you back.

but there were times where you thought that you just might have a chance.

even though your cursed your heart for fluttering and rearing its head each time so willingly at denji's mercy, you couldn't help but take every offhand action of his as a ray of hope. with the way his hands engulfed yours to anchor himself as he thrusted into you, the way his lips left urgent kisses on your lips as you panted beneath him, the way he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you cried out in ecstasy.

and even when you were lying next to each other in his bed, catching your breath. you would turn to look at his face sometimes, only to see him staring at you already with a look in his eyes that could only be described as wistful. but you were a fool to think that you could ever upseat makima in denji's eyes.

false hope could only get you so far.

with his breath tickling the back of your neck and his large hand rubbing patterns into your hip, this false hope really had gotten you somewhere. but all good things must come to an end. words that you dreaded to say weighed heavy on your tongue, but you dragged yourself along, lifting them just enough to feel them escape your lips before you could really stop them.

"denji, what are we?"

you felt the hand that rested on you go still, and the arm that was poised as a pillow for you went rigid. hell, the boy that was holding you so close to his chest had practically stopped breathing, and you felt your eyelids slide shut in a bitter defeat before you heard another word. it's not like you needed them to understand how he felt, anyway.

"we're friends, aren't we?" his tone was so controlled, so even and level and unlike the denji that you knew and, dare you say it, loved. it sent another shot tubneling straight through your heart, and you were glad that you were currently facing away from him. you wouldn't be able to handle seeing the look on his face as all of your tentative hopes were crushed under his heel. all you wanted to do was curl in on yourself and maybe try to cry away the numbness that was invading your body from the chest outward.

you raised a shaking hand to push denji's own off of you, and you felt the mattress underneath you creak as the boy shifted in confusion at your behaviour.

"y/n?"

your kept your back turned to him as you got out of his bed, pulling on your own clothed and scowling in frustration when you couldn't find your shirt anywhere. you were seconds away from letting the first droplets fall, and you did not want to let denji see.

you snagged some random material of a shirt off of the bedroom floor, yanking it over your head and turning to face denji with a face that you hoped wasn't too scrunched from holding back your tears.

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it."

you didn't have time to register his wounded facial expression or the pleading calls of your name that he cast towards your retreating figure, but you grabbed your shoes before leaving his dorm, shutting the door behind you a little too forcefully and storming off back to your own room.

you must look insane, padding along the halls with no shoes as angry tears streaked down your face and you tried your best not to audibly sob. by the time you had made it back to your room your eyes were streaming, and you flopped on your bed with little regard for anything else other than crying your eyes out.

truth be told, after that fateful night and the best cry of your life you felt much better. you knew where you stood, you had your feelings sorted out, and you knew that a little distance would really help you to finally move on from your friend.

now, if only denji would stop calling and texting you like nothing had happened.

you felt like you could scream when you saw a notification from him, asking if you wanted to study for the test that you had next week. you bit back the petty urge to ask him if he wanted to study with you as just friends, instead opting to turn your phone off and bury your face in your pillow once again.

matters of the heart take time, after all.

on denji's end, things weren't looking much better. he brushed off his confusion at your actions and words when you had left so abruptly the other day, only to find himself staring at his ceiling trying to decipher his feelings and what the hell you had meant.

he likes makima. and he has, for a while now. he could count on one hand the amount of times he had interacted with the girl who sat in front of him in the lecture hall, and every time had been met with this strange giddy feeling in his chest. though it was rare, he knew that feeling.

but the one he felt right now was so, so, different. when the door clicked shut behind you, it felt like a piece of him had up and left along with you. the very reason that he had accelerated things so far in your relationship was because of how right things felt with you. the slightest graze of your fingertips across his chest didn't light any fireworks in his mind, but it's like warmth perforated his skin and was injected straight into him from you.

truth be told, that feeling was the most addicting he had ever felt. and when he heard that air of finality right after the door shut behind you, it didn't take long for denji to realise just how cold everything felt without you.

but he still liked makima, right?

that giddy feeling in his chest he got from her was enough to fill the you-shaped hole, right?

you not talking to him wasn't what made his heart hurt, right?

he only realised just how wrong he had it when he talked to makima for the fourth time ever. she had turned in her seat, even smiling at him and asking for a pen, and all that came to mind was how much he missed your smile.

hell, he missed everything. the sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair. the way you fit against him and said his name. and that's when he realised this you-related feeling was.

longing.

there was a knock on your door. and another. you groaned, rolling over to check the time to see that it was three in the morning.

by the time you had cracked your door open you saw a flash of blond hair and a face all-too-familiar, you knew it was too late to slam your door shut. denji's face perked up, and you already knew that you were done for.

he lifted his hand, revealing a pretty albeit crumpled bouquet of flowers. you almost giggled to yourself, guessing that the mastermind of that romantic gesture was most likely denji's roommate aki. but it was appreciated, nonetheless.

"what do you want, denji?" you were painfully aware of just how much of a mess you looked right now- eyes still red around the rim from how many self-pitying tears you had shed over this entire situation.

denji's mouth and opened and closed, and you sighed against your barely open door which still had a chain on it.

"i'm not in the mood, denji."

"no, no, it's just that i wanted to say that i've finally figured out what we are." it appears tgat your friend finally found his voice. you looked him in the eye again, trying not to let the hope in your heart build itself too high. "we're way more than friends, y/n."

you felt any resistance crumble at those words, and the sheepish smile on your face grew.

"so, can i come in?" you smiled at denji, shutting your door to undo the latch before opening it again, wide enough to let him back in to your life. consider him a weakness of yours.

the first thing denji did when he crossed the threshold of your door was wrap his arms around you, dried tears and crumpled flowers and all, and bury his face in your hair. the only words he had to offer was a mumbled i miss you into your skin, and you felt your body melt against him like it had so many times before.

when you finally broke apart, you couldn't help but wonder.

"so, what are the flowers for denji?" the boy before you blushed, his eyes flitting off to the side. he raised a hand to the back of his neck, taking a breath to summon some courage.

"i was hoping... that i could take you out on a date. or be your boyfriend. something like that."

"what?" denji was still bright red, though his eyes were locked onto yours.

"you heard me." you smiled once again, taking a step forwards and effectively closing the distance between you two.

"i would love to."

take a look at the menu - ,, ⚖️ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[thefanbasewhore]

United as One. || Part 1.

Summary: Din returns home after fulfilling his mission of saving his foundling, after completing it he can now claim his rightful spot as clan leader. There is one problem he needs a wife to secure the future of his clan but his clan is not to happy with his choice and they make that very clear.

Warning/content: None for this part except for blood, wounds and angst but future ones will be 18+, have mature themes, pregnancy and etc. This does contain chapter 16 spoilers!!! No use of y/n. 

Clan leader Din AU. Also not edited because im lazy. 

paring: din djarin/female reader

Part 2. || Master post. 

Din holds the child close, it's a bittersweet moment as Grogu is finally untied with his father. Tears threaten the Mandalorian's eyes, he's thankful of helmet at this very moment. His eyes find her, another reason to get emotional. He realizes just how much she’s grown on him during this journey, and could easily admit he didn’t want to say good bye. She can't help it as her own eyes gloss over as the words are said. Din leans over, cool helmet flushing against the warmth of her  forehead. “Now that the child is safe I must return to my clan.”

"I'm glad we found him Din, I'm glad you can go back home." Din sighs, the leather pad of gloves rubbing the highest point of her cheek, soaking in the feeling of skin. "I wish you could stay."

“It’s my obligation." Din mumbles, metal kisses her ear as he presses his forehead into the her collarbone. He was close, never wanting to let go as he pulls her in as much as the child will allow against his chest. "The clan needs me, I'm to be the new leader."

"I know, someone out there needs you more than I do." It's a whisper only meant for his ears, the rough edges of his visor meets her face, surprised at the words. She can’t see it, the way his bottom lip quivers with emotion, the longing eyes that just want her. Those words mean something to him. 

“Come with me, I can’t be without you.” he admits, he wishes Boba and Fennec weren't close by, he wishes he can tell her to shut her eyes so he can feel the softness of lips, the rush that fills him whenever he kisses her. Pink, soft and plump, the perfect fit for his own.

"Din I'm not -."

Din doesn't allow any excuses, "I love you. I need you."

"You're making this hard." Tears swell immediately, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth with a soft sob, disguising it as a laugh. Din doesn’t move a single muscle, just stares intensely. 

"Please." He begs, the hand against her cheek lowers to her hip fingers pressing in attempt to close the gap between the two.. Grogu's soft fingers touch her collarbones, his own quiet plea. Cheeks rise to form wrinkles under eyes as her smile makes Din's heart rate increase.

"Okay. I'll go." Din let's out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, chest expanding once again, a ghost of a smile. 

"I wish I could kiss you Cyar'ika, I am so thankful for you." Din's heart felt like it was going to explode, the unbearable emptiness of leaving her here was suddenly gone. "You're are my other half. I can't wait to share my home with you."

While the ride was long, Din manages to make it manageable, he tells stories of his clan, talks about the different types of foods, the ceremony that will be held in days time when he arrives. It’s cute.. how passionate he is about his people. It never really hit her before.. Din is to be a leader of his clan and it fits him, a little to perfect. He’s a protector but caring, it’s the perfect blend for one. 

Din's fingers squeeze her own as the ship lands, reinsuring as he senses the nervousness seeing her shift her weight from one foot to the other. Standing tall, stiff and uncomfortable. "It's going to be okay, you look nervous."

"I am nervous." Fidgeting with the hem of tunic says it all, he leans in closer he smell of him is almost enough, but the warmth is what really calms her down. Din's fingers fill the gaps in-between hers, his own little way of saying he's here, there's no reason to be nervous.

The ramp of the ship is slowly opening while her eyes dart over his side profile over and over again; of course it’s just his helmet, but somewhere in those points of basker bring comfort. The moment he does notice, she’s blushing, caught but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

"There's no reason to be, I'll always protect you my love." There it is, the love of the man that got her nto this in the first place. It's a small gesture, a glove hand pressing softly into her cheek, dragging across smooth skin. "I mean it, I'd do anything for you."

Her mouth open to say the same words back but the smell of fresh pine, earthy tones of moisture are distracting, there is absolutely nothing, just trees and dirt that run for miles. The small child is asleep but stirs in the bag that wraps across his neck and down his side. 

"We have to hike there." The Mandalorian throws a pack over his shoulder, hand finding slipping into hers again. "The clan survives by being a secret, no one but us must know the location."

"Not even Boba?"

Din's eyes drag along her face, looking back at herself in the reflection of his helmet. "No, he is not a Mandalorian."

"Either am I." Din steps out in front of her, hands still crossed in each other, extending it until your feet move out from under her.

"You're with me, no one will say anything." He pauses, slight amusement in his voice. "If they know what's good for them."

"Come on." Despite Din controlling the pace it does not meet up to expectations as he pulls her closer and slightly in front of him. "Stay right next to me and we have to move quicker, it gets dangerous around here at night time."

Dark was near, hanging right over the horizon as the planet’s sun begins to set lower, it was quieter then when she first arrived, the small animals and bugs of the forest seemed to also agree with Din.

The big fill moon on display provides just the amount of light needed to maneuver the thick brush and trees. It’s peaceful, beautiful, the forest is different hues of greens, pinks and blues from growing flowers make the trip just a little more bearable. 

 It’s serenity, peaceful and ebbing so gently throughout the darkness. Din’s hand never leaves her own except when he drapes his cape over shuddering shoulders, or to check on the child, the darkness brought a chill with it. 

It’s happens in an instant, suddenly all of her breath is knocked out of as Din pushes her with a shout, “Get down!” Protective hands press accidently press her face against the foliage of the forest, the heavy body shielding her own from harm.

Large sharp spikes take wing above them. Both of their hearts thump at the crunching of leaves in the distance with the snapping branches falling all around when a loud unhuman sound fills the air, a growl so close she couldn’t decide if the hot air was it was coming from under Din’s helmet or snapping of jaws in front of her face. It’s covered in fur black red eyes peering as it’s long claws reached for both of her but Din is quicker, his fingers grasp her hips, yanking up and pushing her back as he secures the bag against his chest. “Run!” 

The sounds of chanting could be heard, a group large in numbers just ahead in the tree line, a large bright light that an only resemble a large fire burning, the smell makes her nose twitch, it’s so close but very very far for the predicament the pair find themselves in. 

She couldn’t breath, air ways blocked by paralyzing fear that swirls deep inside of her stomach sending her whole body into a frenzy. Feet ran with a blur, not being make out anything due to how fast she were going, the pitch dark didn’t help either, but Din was were to guide her, with one slip up he was pushing her into the right direction.  Alarms and bells began to sing, loud drums as chaos broke out, yelling and the sound of blasters as she finally hit the tree line. Din’s finger press into her shoulder to finally stop her from running, the beast did not dare past the tree line.

Only because of what in habited it. Loud wheezing falls from burning lungs, long, shallow breaths as she lean one hand against the ground for support. It was obvious her body was still in flight mode when hands try to touch her face only to be pushed away with brutal force. 

“It’s me, it’s just me. Breath with me.” The Mandalorian’s face is in front of her own, pressing his hand against the swells of her chest to remind her to breath. As her body starts to calm, it feels hot. The sound of crackling and popping as scarlet flames dance right in behind her, Din doesn’t like the close proximity as he stands between her and the warmth. 

“Come over here, you’re too close to the fire.” As she starts to take in the rest of the environment she can’t help but notice the faces around them, well some were faces the rest were similar to Din, the helmets weren’t as seek, silver as him but a variety of different shaped eyes, symbols and lines. Now she understood why the creature didn’t dare cross the forest lines. There was a small amount of commotion, some eyes question her but the majority seek out Din.

“The Mand’lor has returned.” Din nods in acknowledgment, hands pulling his girl from the ground. Din’s fingers swipe her hair from her forehead as he sees the look of disapproval on the few bare faces. 

“Listen to me.” He pleads, watching as a smaller woman, elder woman slowly ascends towards them. “Anyone can challenge rank in the clan, you must fight if need be.”

“Wh-What?” Wide eyes meet his visor, stomach twisting as Din’s words stun her. It was too late, the elder’s staff is pressing against her throat harshly. “Who is this woman you’ve brought us?”

The growl that Din lets out is enough to scare that monster in the woods, it’s protective, frustrated but expected, how did he ever think his people would accept a outsider? especially a non-mandalorian one. The elder sneers at her, different symbols of no legitimacy are painted against her forehead, black charcoal lines that reach to her lips. “Let her go. She’s with me.”

The elder’s eyes shift towards Din. While Din may be the leader of the clan, the elders are responsible for making sure the rules are followed, guidance for such a leader. The pressure releases from her throat but the venom in her tone says it all. “She doesn’t belong here.”

If a staff to the point of almost unconsciousness doesn’t say you’re not welcomed here the words make her cheeks red with embarrassment. Din’s fingers find her shoulder quickly, pulling her against his chest protectively. Eyes turn in disgust as they realize, the way he flushes her against him, his willingness to protect her. It’s wrong, so very wrong to the clan but Din doesn’t care. All eyes are on him as he steps in front of her, the child now awake is shoved against her chest, Din’s fists ball against his sides, he’s strong, sturdy like a wall as the crowd meets his own gaze. “She is under my protection, if anyone wants a challenge, they go through me first.” 

Just like the the tension leaves the air, no one dares to step forward as the cold, icy gaze of the visor warns them, then to the elder that stands a few feet from him. “Is that understood?”

Watching all these people cower at his words makes her throat dry, Din Djarin was passionate, a little rough around the edges but never this scary. Shaky finger rub against her throbbing throat as another wheeze leaves her burning throat. Without a second glance Din is dragging her along the field, the peaks of houses just over the land. 

“Are you okay?” She doesn’t answer, only presses herself into his hold as they near one of the biggest huts in the field. 

“Where are we?” It’s cold, but clean. Neatly organized books against the walls, a fireplace with two comfy leather chairs, the kitchen is small, almost right next to the living room but it is cozy. Din manages to find some matches to light the room up, “My home.”

The child fights against her grasp as she sits down on the brown chair, large dark eyes meeting her own as he lets out a whine of frustration. . It doesn’t register, everything happening to quickly doesn’t give her time to even breath as she looks up at the Mandalorian.  When Grogu is finally free, he manages to find the other chair, curling up comfortably in it “What just happened?”

Din tries to speak but she decides for him. “They don’t want me here, why did you bring me here?”

Din shakes his head, falling between her thighs, hands press against them with intent to comfort but it makes her more frustrated. “They’re not used to strangers, and you’re not Mandalorian, it caught them by surprise.”

“Din I saw the way they looked at me, that old lady almost murdered me. “Did you know it was going to be like this?”

He bites the inside of his cheek, bringing his helmet forward to her shoulder. “Yes but no one will challenge you for now, not until you’re part of the clan.”

“No one wants me here.” Tears of frustration slip past eyelashes, rejection sitting deep inside the pit of her stomach.

“Sweet girl.” Din’s covers her eyes with his palm using the other to pull the helmet off placing it next to him. “Close your eyes.”

Even if she wanted to she couldn’t open them, they’re too heavy with emotion as Din presses his fingers against tears, wiping them gently. “No tears, for the love of maker, no tears.”

“I-I’m -” Din doesn’t let her finish, instead he uses his lips to taste the salty mixture that formulated from her pain, lips meet hers gently. 

“They will love you, they haven’t seen a stranger since I left two years ago, give it time.” Din promises, hands wrap around just below her breast, pulling her against his chest. “The clan is sacred, they just see -.”

“An outsider.” The sourness of the words taste strange in her mouth, “Why did you bring me here then?”

“I love you.” It’s the first time those words move past those lips, “I can’t be without you.”

It’s hours later when Din returns to the tent, while many hours have past she was still asleep. The bed was comfortable, stuffed with feathers, covered in layers and layers of animal pelts. Soft fur smooth against skin, perfect for the chilly night.

The child notices, instantly perking up to extend his arms out to his father. The foundling coos as Din’s hands hold him close to his chest, “Hey buddy, are you hungry?”

The next few days are almost enough to make her regret coming with Din, she’s alone half the time, Din leaves her for what he called ‘very important business, and snarled at when she leaves the hut. Never in her life has she felt so.. unwelcomed, out of place. She has never been a person to care about things like these, but the child was soon becoming her only source of social interaction and everyone knows how well that is. 

“What are you doing out here?” Din’s voice startles her, the child in her arms jumps as she does. 

Eyes shift in confusion at the Mandalorian, the raspiness of his voice, hands bare but open cuts painted across them, dried blood show signs of a struggle as she tits her head. “What happened?”

“Nothing you need to worry about sweet girl.” The hand finds the crown of her head, rubbing the hair softly, then to the child’s head before disappearing silently into the hut, while it was very Din the tone of his voice was very uncharacteristic. 

“Din?” It’s much later in the night, so late that they should both be fast asleep like the child tucked between them. Din’s helmet reflects the dying fire across the room, despite the inches of distance between them it felt like miles. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He sighs, turning onto his side so he can look at her. He was stripped down to a thinner tunic, comfortable pants rid of all amour except his helmet, the fire was still alive. “It’s just -.”

He cuts himself off, bringing his hands forward to her hips fingers dig into the flesh to pull her close against him. “What is it?”

“The elders.. they don’t like that I brought you here.”

“i know that.”

Din turns his back towards the fire, the broadness of him dimming the room almost instantly. The helmet falls to the floor with a thud, lips meet the junction between her clavicle and sternum, nose pressing against her skin. “I want you to stay here with me.”

“I don’t feel welcomed here, no one even knowledge me.”

“Marry me.” The words make her choke, body momentarily freezing as fingers release his hair. Din freezes as well, not believing the words fell from his lips so easily.

“If you marry me, they will have no choice but to accept you. You will be my queen.” A pregnant pause falls amongst them, Din doesn’t dare move from his spot but pushes further. “They will make me take a wife anyways, I want it to be you.”

Emotion is heavy in her throat, “It feels forced, you’re only doing this for me. For you can have me.”

“I’m doing this because I love you, I want you to stay with me. The elders have no control over what I’m saying to you. I want you to marry me because I love you.” The words aren’t forced, they’re spoken with carefulness but freely mumbled against her chest.

“Marry me, I’ve always known you’d be my riduur from the moment I met you.”

A/N: I swear its going to get much better, first chapters are always so slow. Thank you for reading, I’m accepting tags just comment below, thank you!

[jae-daddy]

Duff (4)

jaebum au series

one / two  / three / four / five /  six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now plot:  you are the duff, and guys use you to get close to your bestfriend, turns out jaebum was no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your bestfriend’s unoffical boyfriend grows  a/n: it so late, I'm literally seeing double rn... hope y’all like it! <3 not edited. 

Life is brimming with lessons that teach you how to live without being naive and a fool. 

You were already taught a few lessons by life, as it made you jump through endless hoops burning with malicious flames waiting to scorch your skin at slightest touch. 

So you found it fair to hold yourself as intelligent and mature. 

Therefore, you trusted your conclusion to ignore whatever happened in the elevator with Im Jaebum. 

What was said, what was done; none of it mattered. 

An important lesson you’ve learnt is people say and do crazy things when they are riding high a shot of adrenaline. 

Jaebum’s near-death experience led him to say things that he would not on a normal day. It was only because he was scared that he did. And everyone wants to die an honest man. You were certain if it were Paul in the elevator instead of you, Jaebum might have confessed something outrageous to him too. 

So that was not the reason why you were staring at the two males in front of you as they spoke absolute nonsense to you. You already knew not to take what happened in that tiny metal box seriously. Instead, it was another life lesson you knew that made you stare at them as if they had grown two heads: everything has a price. 

“Not everyone gets an opportunity like this, y/n,” Paul spoke, a second away from begging on his knees. 

You shook your head in distaste, this was not part of the plan. Actually, there was no plan, but if you had one, this would definitely not be it. This was not how you imagined your lottery internship to turn out. 

“Paul, I am flattered the company believes me to be capable of such an important role,” you breathed, trying to keep a polite smile as your eyes bounced between the bald man and the smirking jerk. “However, I do not think I would be suitable for this role. I made it clear in my internship contract that I will not have my studies affected by this opportunity. Unfortunately, being the secretary of the -”

“I’m sorry to stop you, y/n,” Paul cut you off, not apologetic at all. You bit your cheeks to hold back a sneer. “We have thought about this through, and believe it to be the best plan of action to take right now. Mr Im is new to this company and is temporary, and while we have made a public announcement, he is still on trial.

“We could get someone in a fixed-term confidential contract, but that’s too complicated.”

Your brows furrowed as you disagreed with that, but you didn't say anything. 

“The remaining time left in your contract and Mr Im’s trial period match up perfectly. You already have secretarially role in the company, so you already know the ups and downs, the tricks and tips, so we really believe this is the best way. And about your studies, the summer break began last week. However, if you believe this to be in violation of your contract, we will compensate.”

“Compensate?” You rose an eyebrow, payment would be better than slaving away for free. 

“Pay you, just like any other employee,” Paul smiled happily. Finally seeing some indication of interest from your side. He added, proudly, “with all employee benefits.”

You bit your lip in deep thought. 

You mentally weighed the pros and cons. 

There were pros, so many pros; a better resume, money, free coffee and healthcare, etc. But the con, the big con stared at you in bold, italics, highlighted in large red fonts: you’d be working for Im Jaebum. 

If this was someone else you would have said yes the moment they offered it, even without the benefits. But with Im Jaebum, things got complicated. 

You weren’t sure if he could maintain the professional relationship between the two of you. And if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you could maintain it too. 

Even now, with Paul standing at one end of the table, and Jaebum settled on the long side. Your mind couldn’t help thinking about how short your skirt was, and how easy it would be for Jaebum to bend you over the wooden table, and make you a moaning mess. 

It would be quite difficult to maintain professionalism when you’d be spending time alone with him. Or maybe, he would use his position to make you suffer. He might end up not coming to work at all, have you do all his work, and just show up to sign and show his face. 

So much could go wrong with working for Im Jaebum. 

And you also had to consider the fact that you hadn’t talked to him since the elevator incident. 

You haven’t been to Heather’s place, too busy with the piled up assignments all due within the last two weeks. The twenty hours of weekly internship didn’t give you any freed up time either. You didn’t get an opportunity to see Heather, or her boyfriend, Im Jaebum, to have a talk. 

“Oh come on, y/n,” Jaebum smiled at you, making your blood boil instantly. This was the first thing he said to you in the past two weeks and somehow managed to be an arrogant shit-eater when he did. Your glare didn’t make his smile falter as he sang, “It’ll be fun.”

No way. You thought. There is no way you would be able to work for that self-centred, cocky, incredibly hot jerk. 

“We’ll cover your fees.” Paul stopped you before the no on the tip of your tongue tumbled out. You stared at him in shock, as he looked at you expectedly. 

“My university fees?” You asked, shocked.

“Yes, all of it.” He nodded. 

That’s a lot. 

Your eyes fell on Jaebum who smirked at you as if he had the whole entire world at his feet's disposal, and maybe he truly did. He had something similar to that power if the company was willing to go to such extents to make him stay. 

The pros were really starting to outweigh the annoying, irritating con.

“Fine,” you licked your lips, with a sigh. “I’m in.”

Paul almost jumped in his place with excitement, “Thank you, y/n! Thank you so much!”

Paul walked out swiftly muttering something about going to the HR and having a contract formed immediately. Your eyes followed him as he left, remaining on the doors that closed behind him.

You could feel his gaze burning the side of your face, and it truly felt as if you were about to combust. 

“What?” You snarked, turning towards him annoyed. 

Jaebum just snickered as he swirled side to side, carefree, on his chair, “Why are you always so mad, love?” 

You rolled your eyes getting up, “I guess this meeting is over.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, y/n,” Jaebum said, stopping his playful actions. 

“You’re not my boss until I sign that piece of paper, so,” you gave him a middle finger with a tight smile before walking out the office. 

You could hear his light laughter follow you, but you ignored it. 

You stopped in your tracks as you remembered something and entered the room once again. Jaebum looked up at you, surprised, before smiling brightly, “Welcome back.” 

You cursed yourself for returning after such an amazing exit, but there were more pressing matters than your pride. 

“Have you told Heather about what happened?” You closed the door behind you, making sure no one could hear you. 

Jaebum’s eyes danced with amusement, as he shrugged, drawling, “What happened?” 

“In the elevator, Jaebum,” you gritted through your teeth as you stepped closer towards him.

Jaebum’s smiled only grew as he frowned with feigned innocence, “I can’t seem to remember, maybe if you could help me remember.”

His lazy gaze fell to your lips before meeting your eyes again. A spark ignited deep inside you, and you told yourself it was anger; it was an annoyance. 

You clicked your jaw as you smacked your hands onto the desk, leaning over it. Jaebum watched you, carefully, not intimidated a bit, only amused. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, before you smiled sweetly, “You were holding my hand and crying like a child.” 

Jaebum hissed, unaffected, as he tsked, “I can’t seem to remember that.” 

“Did you tell her or not?” You groaned, your annoyance at peak. 

What you would do to this man if you got a chance. He wouldn’t be smiling like that, he’d be begging you for forgiveness, for release. 

Jaebum smirked as if he could read your mind, “No, I didn't.” 

“Good,” you nodded, gulping as his eyes watched you with unsettling darkness. “Don’t.” 

He rose his eyebrow, before nodding, “As you wish, y/n.” 

You turned and felt his gaze watch you as you walked out. You felt it lower, watching your hips as it swayed side to side. Your hand gripped the cool handle as your shoulders sagged slightly. 

You let out a low sigh, “Thanks.” 

You disappeared behind the door before Jaebum could reply. 

“Babe!” Heather sang as her long limbs fell over you loosely. You laughed, as you helped her sit straight. She leaned against you again, snuggling her face into your neck as she hugged you, “I love the way you smell, baby!” 

You chuckled as you patted her red matted hair soiled with glitter and sweat at the back of the Uber, “Thanks Heather, I like how you smell too.” 

“Don’t lie,” you could hear her pout, and it only made you smile. “You always make fun of my feet.” 

“But that’s only after the gym or a hike, Heather,” you told her, as you brushed the hair off her face. 

Heather was completely wasted tonight. 

She was already drunk by the time you walked into the club. Jaebum wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you found her with a group of her “friends” that you didn’t like. 

They would always make her drink too much, give her a little white sugar, and let her waste her platinum card on those low lives. 

You didn’t like the way the guys would touch her as she slumped back onto the couch unable to see straight. You didn’t like the way the girls sitting around would not help her, instead, encourage her to be worse. 

You were mad when you were pulling her away from the crowd and towards the bathroom when you had found Jaebum. He had just got to the club himself but was ready to leave as soon as he saw the state Heather was in. 

He sat on the other side of Heather, holding her purse, as Heather held you from the middle seat. 

Heather mumbled something in return and you couldn’t understand it. 

“By that red letterbox is fine,” you told the Uber driver as he slowed down. 

Jaebum got out first, and you helped Heather onto his back before getting out. You turned to the driver, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good night,” he said, already accepting a new ride. 

“You too,” you said, as you closed the door. You turned to Jaebum, with Heather hanging her head over his shoulder. Her long ember curls falling down his chest as he grunted and halted her up. 

“Woah, stop,” Heather moaned, heaving. 

Jaebum looked at you with terror in his eyes, and you laughed at him, “Come on, let’s get this party animal into bed.”

“Is this where you live?” Jaebum asked as you led him up the small walk to the door. 

You snorted and shook your head, “No, this is Heather’s home.” 

Jaebum rose his eyebrows, and you continued, as you unlocked the doors, 

“Her parents don’t live in this house anymore, so Heather skips between here and the apartment.” 

You turned the lights on and took in the home that greeted you. 

“They love sure love red, huh?” Jaebum commented, taking in the red couch, red feature wall, and red details spread over the living room and kitchen. 

You laughed at that, agreeing with him. The Blacks sure did take pride in their red-haired heritage, and didn’t hide the fact that it was family’s favourite colour, “Mrs Black was going through an interior design phase.”

“Thank god it was just a phase,” Jaebum snickered, making you turn to him with a pointed look as you tried to hide the smile. 

“She wasn’t too bad,” you replied and began walking towards Heather’s room. 

Jaebum followed behind you, grunting as he adjusted Heather on his back, “No, she was just too red.” 

You rolled your eyes as you opened her bedroom door and walked towards the bed. You pulled down the covers and Jaebum gently set her down. You took off her shoes, and earrings carefully. 

Jaebum didn’t say anything and just watched you as you walked around the room getting out her nightshirt, and face-cleansing products. 

“Why are you looking at me, Jaebum?” You asked, not looking at him. Instead, you pumped out the cleanser on a pad and gently took off the makeup from her face. 

“Is there a problem?” Jaebum asked back, making you snort. 

You gently turned her face and began the other side, “Yes, it’s making me nervous. I can feel you judging me.”

He was probably thinking what everyone else seemed to think when they saw you and Heather. They never saw the whole you both had for each other, how you would do anything for one another. All they saw was Heather in all her brilliance, beauty and wealth, and you, as her second, her side-kick. 

“I’m not judging you,” he replied instantly. 

Something about the way he said it made you believe him. You bit your lip, as folded the dirty make-up pads and put them on the side table.

“Then what are you doing?” You took a wet towel, wiping her face. You patted it dry and misted some toner and moisturiser. You turned back and met Jaebum’s eyes that remained on you, “Why are you looking at me?”

“There’s nothing else to look at,” he simply shrugged. 

You rolled your eyes and pointed to the wall covered with photos of Heather through the years. Most of them had you in them, celebrating every holiday, and some photos from random days when the sun was shining brightly. 

Jaebum stared at the wall as if noticing it for the first time. He got up and slowly walked up towards it. He took in the photos for a while, a small chuckle leaving him sometimes, “How did you two become friends?” 

You smiled at the memory, “She saved me.” 

You stared at your gorgeous friend, as she got up slightly. She searched around, her eyes disappearing as she smiled spotting you, “Oh, you’re here, y/n. I was going to the store on Wednesday.”

She trailed off, falling back into her pillow dozing off again. 

“Her hangover is going to kill her tomorrow,” you turned to Jaebum with a tight smile, as you held up the nightshirt, “I’m going to change her.” 

Jaebum instantly turned on his heels and walked out, closing the doors behind him. 

You walked out to the smell of coffee and Jaebum sitting at the kitchen counter with two mugs in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows as you settled on the chair in front of him, “Is this poisoned?” 

Jaebum snorted rolling his eyes. 

You blew the coffee before sipping it. It was still searing hot, so you placed it down on the counter, and turned towards Jaebum. 

You took in his midnight hair pushed back, revealing his forehead. You didn’t know you could find someone’s forehead so sexy, but after seeing his hair down while he was at work, you had to admit it was hot. His piercings that were normally missing during office hours had returned too, a few missing. 

You frowned your eyes focusing on his nose and eyebrows, “Why aren’t you wearing all your piercings?” 

“It’s a nuisance putting it on and off,” Jaebum shrugged, before pointing to his lips, his tongue coming out to flick the sliver hoop, “Just wore my favourite.” 

You held your breath, as the image of the cool metal against your lips, flicked by your tongue, gently tugged by your teeth invaded your mind. Your cheeks heated but you continued like nothing was happening to your body. 

“Do you have piercings anywhere else?” 

Jaebum smirked, “If you’re into pierced nipples, I can get them done for you.” 

You groaned, a ridiculous smile on your face as you shook your head, “Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick?” 

“A prick?” he gasped, “that’s a bit harsh. I would say I’m more of a flirt.”

“Oh, so you know? This is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and decide to be the bane of my existence.” 

“I do wake up every morning and think of you,” Jaebum smiled at you. He chuckled, seeing you roll your eyes at him. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted. Jaebum simply shrugged, smiling. 

Something beeped from the kitchen and Jaebum got up. You watched him walk over to the stove and turn it off. He reached for a mug before looking through the drawers for something. 

You narrowed your eyes watching him, “What are you looking for?” 

“Uh... a strainer?” He turned back to you, scratching the back his head. “I don’t know what it’s called.” 

Your heart melted at how adorable he looked standing there, confused and unsure. The smile on his lips was so beautiful as he watched you, waiting for you. 

“The second drawer over there,” you pointed, not looking at him as your cheeks tinted rosy again. 

Jaebum murmured thanks, before using it to drain the liquid from the pot and into the cup, “It’s a hangover tea. My mum makes it for me every time I get too drunk.” 

“You live with your mum?” You asked. Jaebum peered back at you a small smile on his lips. 

“Yeah, but I rarely ever get to see her.” 

“Why’s that?” You frowned. The way Jaebum talked about her, the lightness in his voice and the softness of his smile, told you how much he adored his mother. 

Jaebum shrugged before giving you a cheeky smile, “My house is too big.” 

You laughed at that. You were not expecting that at all. You heard Jaebum’s low chuckle as you sobered up. 

“What about you?” He asked as placed the cup onto a tray with a glass of water and two tablets he found next to the refrigerator. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup,” you nodded, before frowning, “Not even a pet.” 

“No pets?” He asked, sympathetic. 

You nodded, “I’m scared of animals. It doesn’t matter what size, or how well-trained, or what the animal is. I am terrified of them all the same.” 

Jaebum gasped as if you had confessed to a murder, “What is wrong with you?”

“Wow, I thought this was a safe place,” you mumbled before taking a sip from your coffee that had cooled down. You hummed at the taste, he made good coffee. 

“What about your parents?” Jaebum asked, making you stiffen. “Where do they live?” 

You remained quiet. 

You opened your mouth to tell him what you always told anyone who asks. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed or thought it was something to hide. You didn’t want people in your business and telling them to mind their business when they asked only piked up their interest more. 

So you opened your mouth to tell him what you’ve been telling everyone for the past five years, “I don’t live with them.”

Normally you would follow up with something about living here was better for your education or future jobs. You would say something, an excuse, that was reason enough for many young people to move out of their parents home. But what you said surprised you, “I don’t talk to them anymore.” 

“Oh,” was all Jaebum said. “That’s cool too.” 

You peered up at him with a frown. You took in his relaxed gaze, the smile on his face just like it there was a minute ago. There was no sympathy, no pity. There was no spike in interest or anything. 

He really didn’t want to pry. He didn't want to know why unless you told him. He only took as much as you could allow him. 

Suddenly there was an iridescent pond shimmering in your chest. It swirled, making your whole body feel alive as you took in Im Jaebum. It felt as if your entire body was one cell, one tiny speck of dust caught in the breeze of Im Jaebum, and it didn’t mind. 

You gulped, your body and mind acting quicker than you could control, “They couldn’t stand the sight of at me after they found out I was still doing something I promised I wouldn’t do anymore.” 

The faces of your parents appeared in front of your eyes. The shock, anger, the disappointment on their face as they found you lying in a pool of your urine and vomit. The horror in their eyes, their desperateness as they shook your body, pleading for you to reply. 

“They didn't kick me out. I left,” you ran a hand through your hair, as you let out a heavy sigh. You thought of the letter you wrote them, the way they had cried when they came to the hospital to meet you during those months, “I couldn’t hurt them anymore.”

“Do you think you would ever go meet them again?” You looked up to Jaebum watching you. You were thankful for the lack of pity in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you. 

You sighed again, and it came out as a little laugh, “One day I will.” 

You nodded, as you met his eyes. He smiled at you softly, and you smiled back as you scrunched your nose to stop the tears from threatening you, “When I am good enough, I will.” 

“I hope that day comes soon.” 

You didn’t realise Jaebum had come this close to you as you were talking. He leaned against the counter between you, his eyes intently taking you in. He folded his hands on the dark marble, his face leaning half-way over the counter. 

You watched him back. 

He was so beautiful. 

You huffed out a smile as you shook your head at him. Jaebum instantly changed, leaning back, the playfulness in his eyes glinting once again as he rose an eyebrow in question. 

“You’re not too bad, you know?” You smiled at him, before adding, “When you’re acting like a normal human being at least.” 

Jaebum laughed at that before giving you a mocking smirk, “You’re not too bad yourself, y/n.”

You grinned about to say thank you, when he added, “When you’re not acting like a stick is stuck up your ass at least.” 

“What an asshole,” you shook your head, laughing at him. 

Jaebum beamed back, his eyes shining, “What a bitch.” 

You took in the dark flecks in his eyes. You noticed their velvety blackness absorbing all light around it, but something else existed in those captivating eyes of his eyes. They didn’t get dragged away into the twilight of his gaze.  

Instead, it shone brightly. It glistened, it was golden, white and sparkled like a starry night. It dragged you in, it made you want to lean close to him. 

It made you want to place your lips on his and see how that shimmering halo swirled as he pulled you in closer. It made you want to reach for him, to place your hand on his soft cheeks. It made you want to walk around the counter and hug him in the middle of the kitchen littered with red embellishments. 

Jaebum’s smile curled into an easy smirk as he winked at you before turning around. He picked up the tray with a cup of tea, a glass of water and Panadol, as walked towards the door the red-haired beauty was sleeping in. 

Everything had a price. 

Somewhere deep within your heart was a corner buried so deeply in the darkness you had forgotten it existed. The room was cold, dark, and there was nothing. Nothing except for a lone candle standing in the middle of the emptiness. 

There had been nothing there for an eternity, and it was almost like magic. It almost felt like a trick of the eye, but then it happened again. 

A flame, a spark, flickering at the tip of the candle; it sparked again. 

This time it caught on. It burned, slowly getting brighter and livelier. 

You watched Jaebum disappear behind the door of Heather’s room. 

A sharp ache twisted your heart as you saw his broad back enter the dark room she was sleeping in. 

The flame spreading over the wick twisted in shades of ember, their shadows dancing over the room. 

You saw a word, you saw a face. 

You knew the price for this feeling tugging, craving to grow bigger in your heart. You walked into the room, hidden in a deep corner of your heart. The ivory trail of your dress dragged on the dusty floor, turning brown with every step. 

You didn’t look at the walls, you didn’t take in the shapes of the flames. 

You took sharp, clear steps. You reached the candle, the flame reflecting softly against you. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out the candle. 

The flame was gone. 

The candle extinguished, the room engulfed in darkness, once again.  

You looked to the wall, the photo was no longer there but the image there was burnt into your mind. 

The price of this feeling was too expensive. 

It was too precious, and you couldn’t afford it.