#im too funny sometimes
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edgeworth is not here to fucking play
#this became a banger meme on my twitter#so i thought everyone on tumblr should enjoy this too#literally took me like three minutes to make on ig#im funny Sometimes i swear#ace attorney#gyakuten saiban#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#narumitsu#wrightworth
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they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)
#like guys. be real with me. how many options did you even try before turning to dark magic#nothing about the situation called for all that😭#in my mind they're like 22 and 25 here which makes it all even funnier#guys please just adopt a dog or something😭#nothing about either of you screams ready for parenthood#im so happy adrien agreste exists but the circumstances of his birth are so ridiculous#there is so much gabe and emilie couldve done besides this. they could have done anything#honestly knowing them(<-girl who believes she knows them) im not even convinced the infertility treatment wasnt working#I think they just both were so allured by the concept of a magic baby#they were like six months in and hadn't gotten pregnant yet and were like. well. I guess we're out of options! dark magic it is!#and made it everyone else's problem forever#these two wanted to be doomed by the narrative SO bad#honestly though being a 22 year old girl I kind of yet it. sometimes I see a cute baby and want one so bad maybe I too would use dark magic#maybe emilie agreste was just a girl.#anyway. sorry adrien that your parents were Like This but it is so so funny#anna rambles#ml#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste
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Another dumb comic, this time in color!
#gopher art#team fortress 2#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#so corey and i were talking and floated the idea that Medic likes to bite and he goes too far sometimes and leaves marks that look downright#GNARLY. fucking HORRENDOUS nibbles. heavy doesnt mind and he's kinda into it#anyway judge all you want i thought this was funny#i think the part im most proud of is the background. and maybe the cartoony looks of Solly and Scout's reactions
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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because in TKC most Eyes match the gender of the god they host (and just in general in-universe it seems most immortals and hosts in possession/possession-like scenarios are the same gender) this implies that the two outliers we know of - Zia (rejected hosting a goddess but was able to host a god instead) and Percy (Eye of Nekhbet) - may be trans. so uh happy pride to Zia and Percy specifically
#pjo#riordanverse#tkc#the kane chronicles#percy jackson#zia rashid#if anyone's curious my personal takes on it are Zia is transmasc and Percy is genderfluid#specifically Percy being genderfluid but just not changing presentation and still using he/him pronouns cause he just Doesnt Care That Much#he's that whole ''if i sat down and thought about it i'd probably come to a lot of conclusions about my identity but im too busy for that''#or just some general ''well everybody sometimes feel a bit more like a boy or girl or neither or whatever right? thats normal''#''why is Percy genderfluid'' well a.) pun for both terminology reasons [fluid. water. hah] and fish reasons [see: clownfish transgenderism]#b.) percy only sometimes being a girl can explain why his hosting of Nekhbet wasn't totally meshing#like it was enough that it Worked and didnt end up with Percy being comatose or anything but they were side-eying each other the whole time#also percy having fish genderfluidism is funny specifically for all the scenes where he's with like the Hunters or Amazons or etc#Hunters/Amazons/etc: We're an all girl group | Percy: I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE MASCULINE IN MY LIFE
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Looking at Etho with my big ol' eyes. Why do you have a pattern of becoming quickly attached to people who bully you. Yes they're doing it lovingly teasingly jokingly but how is the easiest way to get your attention to be a bit mean to you? Over here leaving mail and statues at Joel's like a cat bringing mice to his doorstep. Stealing from Gem and being in her general vicinity after she roasted you during a boating trip and constantly calls you washed up. The first time you see Cleo in last life you're like heyyy so I bet on you to die first, can you do that for me? and when she rightfully calls you out for being rude you just ask "don't you like that sort of thing?". Not to mention all of limited life followed by secret life. What's up with that. Hey get back here
#its so funny to protest being called obsessed with someone only to then constantly bug them#its like in the moment of being called obsessed with Joel hes like uhhhh yikes. then goes home and pens a love note#anyway no i didnt forget bdubs and you dont know this about me but im a ethubs enjoyer first and foremost#but theyre like. beyond whatever this is. bdubs is the hit of sincerity etho cant stand for too long#even if its what he needs to hear sometimes#orrrrrr whatever.#etho#ethoslab#hermitcraft
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Okay now where's the Seb teddy bear so I can make them kiss each other!?
+
#okay btw you can credit the last frame to suzuki#bcs she brought up the pig stuffed animal that seb kept as a good luck charm when he was karting#and suggested the same with fernando's bear :DDD#also feeling weirdly sappy abt the fact that theres pics of fernando in the ferrari garage w an almost identical pig like ??????#anyways please yes have this random vettonso comic 🥰🥰#im working on a bigger vettonso drawing rn so i made this quick in the meantime!#icl i saw the fernando teddy bear. and i made the eyebrow post and whatever#but there was also just this image in the back haunting me of him gifting one to seb#I AM DELUSIONAL!!!#its just so cute to imagine it as like 'heres a memento of me to keep you company' 🥺🥺🥺🥺#funny tho cause i had the same exact imagine for my ocs and i never drew a comic version for them yet drew this real quick#the power of vettonso takes hold of me sometimes.....#tfw you take a break from your vettonso painting youve been working on for a wk+ to go draw a vettonso comic#i have a problem.#ANYWAYS THIS IS SO CUTE WAAAHHHH#drew it as cope bcs in trying to restrain myself from buying the fernando teddy bear#if i cant have it ill make seb have it yknow 🤭🤭🤭#wah this reminded i should draw more little comics theyre not too hard tbh#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art
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quick PSA for any cookie run fans who like my art:
please do not use my past-shadow milk design without permission and especially without credit!!!
my friend just told me about people on tiktok using my blueberry milk cookie design, i went and looked and i found two videos by the same user, one video without credit. please do not do this!!! please ask me first, i know my ask box is closed (ill reopen it after i post this) but my DM's have always been open!!! its a design/character that's become very personal to me, yes i know it's just a concept design for a canon character but it still means a lot to me, and it makes me highly uncomfortable when people do stuff like this.
if you want to use my other art in edits that's okay! but please ask me if you want to use ANY of my designs, not just cookie run, for any reason! this is why i get nervous posting AU designs, because i'm scared stuff like this will happen, and now it has.
and of course PLEASE credit me. why do i even have to say this, it's common courtesy to credit the artists you take art from, but apparently some people don't have enough respect for artists to even do that.
edit: also, just in case i'm being too vague:
fanart is completely fine with me, just please credit me (and tag me because i want to rb it)
also, i'm fine with people taking inspiration from my designs as well. i'm not trying to gatekeep, i just want people to ask me first please.
#side note.. the icing on the cake to me is that this person used my design for 3ldershadow edits like. LOL?#most if not all of my posts w blueberry are vanilla milkshake#i dont even ship 3ldershadow.. in fact i dont ship sm with any character other than pv#thats whats really funny to me about it#but yeah i hope you guys can all be considerate about this for me#its not just blueberry that im cagey about .. my sonic au designs i post sometimes are personal to me too#i posted them on twitter once and it got over 1k likes so i had to delete it just bc i was uncomfortable over it#i made that sideblog so i could stop feeling uncomfortable posting blueberry but this still happens ig#ill try not to let this bother me too much#i know it means something to people other than myself so i dont want to stop posting it but im just upset rn i guess#hope u guys understand#psa#not art#txt
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don’t know how to really articulate this properly but I really dislike the way people continuously talk about emily axford’s incredible creativity and system mastery in the context of the men she plays with--like yes I understand she can be a menace to DMs and that is a part of her charm, but I hate how the conversation is boiled down to just that one small feature, to the point of completely ignoring her improv skills, knowledge of the game, strategy, and emotional roleplaying? like why is the entire conversation around her feature on critical role about her being a threat to matt, and not about what an excellent player she is? why is it that an incredibly talented and intelligent woman can only be conceptualized as a threat? when she pulls an amazing move, why is the whole conversation about how she has threatened the DM instead of about how impressive Emily is? I understand that its a joke, I guess I just think the joke is getting old.
#don't take this too seriously im begging#its funny sometimes!! just. not always.#Emily axford#dimension 20#critical role#naddpod
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#ryu ga gotoku#rgg#yakuza series#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#daigo dojima#ryo aoki#masato arakawa#snap sketches#im annoyed looking at this jaGELARKGJ#I LIKE MY LNIE ART BUT .... just nthing was clicking with me rtying to shade this#i only meant for this to be a quick thing today but i ended up mulling over it for longer than i wanted so im just throwing it out there#every time i make a rendered drawing of aokis office it always dark as hell like bro PLEASE you have a lamp#theres like ONE instance where i dont make it dark and it was in that goofy Rumor Mill comic#LIKE EVEN THAT COMIC ABOUT ARAKAWA BEING DEAD IT'S DAYTIME YET I STILL MADE IT DARK VJLAKJVAE#ridiculosu.#moving on ive wanted to draw them playing chess for months i just kept. Not Knowing How To Do It#whats funny is that i initially was planning an entirely different thing but i was thinking about that too much i got stressed#so . thats why i worked on this. and then i got stressed over this 💀💀💀#speaking of chess ive always wanted a chessboard birthday cake with edible pieces .. that a lotta work tho ...#i love chess ... am i good at it probably not but i still lke to play it on my phone sometimes ..#guess ill work on that other thing now that im free and i know what i wanna do now that ive slept on it ... lol ...#mk bye i dont like rendering
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Rob Lucci, government agent and the physical embodiment of [Aggressive Finger Guns]
#dont try anything funny these bad boys are LOADED#once again my best work is inevitably done on stickynotes at a coffee shop#also. man. im midway through Wholecake island now but mentally im still in water 7#sometimes i think ill never leave (affectionate)#rob lucci#rob lucci one piece#cp9 one piece#cp9#cp0#one piece cp0#cp9 rob lucci#op paulie#paulie one piece#galley la#water 7#water 7 spoilers#enies lobby#hattori one piece#artists on tumblr#one piece#lmao i left this in my drafts for too long and now im at egghead
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umm i guess im treating this like an au now ahah
pmd2 darkrai hasn't had time to figure out wtf is going on (he's been here for like an hour tops). he's lost his composure immediately lol
#this is stupid hgsdjgs#cresselia is a PAIN to draw btw#too many smooth shapes aaaa#anyway. i like to think the pmd series is its own universe with only one darkrai and cresselia there. and they hate each other's guts#so pmd2 darkrai got chucked into a different universe. where that darkrai and cresselia are more chill w each other#(which seems to be the case in the games and anime.. sometimes?)#pmd2 darkrai is BAFFLED that they aren't mortal enemies here lol he's so expecting to get beat up all over again#he would be running away so fast if he weren't being dragged by the hair hgfhdsfkjg#i didnt put much thought into how this would even work i just thought it was funny and ran with it LOL#pmd2 darkrai probably woke up saw another him and went 'ah yes i must be in the past now there's two of me to work together'#talking like 'haha this is perfect let us combine our might to plunge this world into darkness' or some shit#and the other darkrai just. stares. says to themself 'yeah im too tired for this shit im taking this weirdo to cresselia' LOL#pokemon#darkrai#pmd darkrai#cresselia#two darkrais au#pmd au#anirritant art
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im posting this without any context
#jk. years ago my bro and i thought it would be HILARIOUS to make a fake facebook mom account and mess with people#come to find out. there is a fuckin “COMMUNITY”(?) of ppl with the same idea#like. joke accounts#so my bff/roomie made one too.#and im like. oh. wouldnt it be funny if william afton was a clueluess facebook dad. who is british. hence the weird ass typing#idfk we sometimes go on here while drunk (AND SOBER THO) and laugh our ASSES OFF#ITS SO STUPID ITS HILARIOUS#fnaf#william afton#willy's facebook adventures#wtf#the only reason facebook should be used#fnaf meme#five nights at freddy's#AND PPL PLAY ALONG. SOMEBODY MAKE A HENRY ACCOUNT DUDE#I WAS LAUGHING SOOOOO HARDDD#they're getting married btw. they created a facebook event#this is comedy gold to me
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Mouse getting caught with his hands on the cheese board looking ass 😭
#this is the face of the man who butchered his own lyrics during From Eden then later gaslit the crowd saying THEY slipped up i hate him 💀🤣#wastelandposting#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#unreal unearth tour#i tweeted this but sometimes i think im funny so this is getting posted on here too#forest hills#4th show
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brain rot so bad i was in class today when a schoolmate was wearin red sunnies and my prof went 'you look like something straight out of a marvel comic' HIS NAME IS SCOTT SUMMERS PUT RESPECT ON HIS NAME
#xmen#snap chats#im gonna make myself SICK#funny enough I Too own a pair of red-lensed sunnies. i got em years ago but kinda forgot about em#then i realized i squint a lot cause it always so damn SUNNY so i have decided to use them#anyways my life's over i cant be normal about the most Whatever of references to xmen now#Not X-Men but the other day a friend of mine was helping me move my stuff and she tried grabbing my bag#and Apparently it was heavy as christ cause she was like 'who the hell are you captain america why is this so heavy'#like PLEASE. the avengers brain rot was during my teenage years alright it can wake up sometimes I Guess vlevjalkjlkj#funny enough 2x tho i did really like cap as a kid ... i got into discus cause i thought him throwing his shield was cool 😔#ok thats enough personal rambling im finishing this doodle bye bye
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CHREON WEEK 2024 - Day 2: Post-Vendetta (+ Friends to Lovers)
SYNOPSIS: Leon's psychologist officially diagnosed him with loneliness, and miraculously, it’s curable. (A Redfield remedy of the Chris variety. Currently not FDA-approved!)
✧ fluffy, fun, with some light suggestive flirting & emotions sprinkled in! lots of parentheses, a handful of claire mentions, and- hey. is that a field mouse? ✧ 3.4k words!
A/N: hi. i've never written a full-length fic before, and to be 100% honest with you, this was written out of sheer indulgence, mostly between 12-6am. sorry if anything seems ooc/inconsistent, i promise i tried!! hope you enjoy <3
now on ao3!
✧˖*࿐
Leon tapped his foot against the carpeted floor, knee bouncing up and down- restless regardless of having nowhere else to be. He felt a little like an animal in a cage, despite the fact that he chose to be here. Sitting on the (admittedly comfortable) chair of his therapist’s office wasn’t how he’d ideally spend his rare free time, but after everything had blown over with Arias and the A-virus, he’d decided he needed to do something good for himself.
Over the past few months it had become something like a routine; Leon met her weekly, more or less (emphasis on less). He tried not to freeze up when she asked questions, and she brought out the space heater when he needed a defrosting.
“Listen, Leon,” she sighed, adjusting her glasses. The mannerism paired with her tone almost reminded him of Hunnigan. Almost.
“From what I have to go on- which is not a lot, by the way, but we’ll get there- it sounds like you’re on your own. Often.”
For a split-second her eyebrows knit together, lip twitching. Too often.
“I think,” she said slowly, glossy lips turning up into an encouraging smile, “you should try to socialize more. Connect with someone, whoever would be most comfortable for you. It would be a good reminder that you’re not alone- and you don’t have to be.”
Leon may not have been a doctor, but he was pretty sure it didn’t take a psychology degree to diagnose a guy like him with loneliness. Nonetheless, he swallowed his pride, scrolling through his phone contacts to the one person he could imagine humoring him. After a handful of scheduling hiccups and a good word in from Dr. Chambers- he managed to squeeze some time in with Chris, who had agreed with surprising ease.
(When Leon had mentioned it was his therapist’s suggestion, Chris hummed a note of thought, the low rumble just barely caught by his phone’s mic. “Sounds like she knows what she’s doing then,” he responded, chuckling lightly. A pause. “I’m glad you called me.” He mentioned something about working out their schedules and a quick goodbye before hanging up. Leon pulled his phone away from where it had been tucked against his ear, thumb tapping his calendar app. He’d never heard Chris’ voice so soft.)
The day arrived sooner than Leon had realized, and the moment he registered it, he considered cancelling. Between the constant waves of withdrawal as he tried to drink less and the sleepless nights that grew longer without the amber aid, he honestly felt like shit. Not to mention that his next mission debrief, if the target continued flying just below the radar, was supposed to be the day after his rendezvous with Chris. Doing nothing all day sounded much more promising.
He started typing and re-typing a few painfully pathetic excuses before giving up altogether, abandoning his phone somewhere in his sheets. Chris had specifically made time for this; he was coming all the way to Leon’s place for this. He would feel a little guilty, trying to cancel after everything he’d put him (and Rebecca) through at the BSAA.
6PM snuck up on him- as did a car, pulling into his driveway. Upon stepping out the front door, Leon was surprised. Not a car. A truck. Leon sidled up to the driver’s side, hands on his hips as he stared at Chris through the window. On cue, the pane of glass began to roll down.
“Didn’t realize you were All-American.”
Chris shook his head, grinning down at him.
“Gonna get in or what?”
The first thing that Leon noticed as he clambered into the passenger seat was how everything smelled like Chris- woody, musky, slightly spicy, with lingering cigarette smoke. The second was the button-up Chris wore over his plain t-shirt, patterned with blooming flowers and what appeared to be mice hidden in some of the petals. The third was that Chris was watching him expectantly, brown eyes warm with an emotion he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Intrigue? Amusement, maybe.
“What, do I need to tell you to buckle up?”
Leon blinked back at him for a moment, still processing, before rolling his eyes. Unable to stop the smugness setting into his expression as he opened his mouth to respond.
“If I don’t, are you going to do it for me?”
“Do it for you? Yeah, sure. How old are you again?”
“Memory’s already goin’, huh. That’s too bad. You might want to try sudoku or something, get that brain working again.”
Chris huffed; it was his turn to roll his eyes. He leaned across the center console, reaching for the passenger’s seat belt. A fresh wave of cologne passed over Leon; his eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking between Chris’ hands, one pulling the belt across him and the other waiting to guide the latch into the buckle. There was a hint of sweetness he hadn’t noticed before. (Or maybe, he thought, it was a different cologne. It was similar to the scent the car still carried, sure, but there was a distinct note of something else. Whatever it was, it smelled nice. Suited him.)
Then there was the telltale click. “Shouldn’t you be thanking me?” Chris teased as he switched the truck into reverse. Just as Leon thought he’d pull away, back into his own seat, Chris’s arm hooked around, palm spread over the back of the passenger seat. As he tilted his head to peer out the back window, his eye caught Leon’s before breaking away again. The vehicle rolled back down the pavement smoothly.
It was a different cologne.
Leon scoffed, trying to regain his footing in the conversation. “…For buckling my seat belt? Oh, no, you’re right. I’m in your debt. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to thank you later.”
Chris just shook his head again, unable to hide the smile on his face as he cranked up the volume of the car stereo.
They grabbed dinner together, and Leon learned a surprising amount about Chris. Way back when he had just joined STARS, he had gotten a used pick-up truck. It was mostly for when he’d visit Claire and she inevitably dragged him along to look for “spare parts” (”junk,” as Chris preferred to call it- though the fondness in his expression was hard to miss) to scrap while working on her motorcycle. The fact that he still drove one was mostly out of nostalgia, if not familiarity.
“Well, I know who I’m calling if my bike breaks down,” Leon joked.
Chris chuckled at that, wrinkling his nose a little. “I’m warning you now, she won’t fix it for free.”
“No, not Claire. You.”
A pause.
“Ohh, right. Because of my-”
“You know, since you have the-”
“-truck.”
A bout of silence washed over the two. They both busied themselves with their food until Leon reached over, taking one of Chris’ french fries.
“So,” he started, popping the fry into his mouth. “What’s with the shirt?”
“What,” Chris cast a glance down at his button-up, “you don’t like it?”
Leon hummed, tilting his head from one side to the other. Non-committal. It was a nice look, admittedly. He just hadn’t expected it after years of seeing him in tactical gear, dirtied by blood and grime and god-knows-what. Chris took a sip of his drink before setting the glass back down, and Leon swore he saw the faintest pout before his lips quirked back up.
“Guess."
Leon chewed, considering his options. Chris might have just enjoyed dressing like a more fashionable version of an Old Navy mannequin. Or maybe he liked flowers, or mice- or both? Leon reached for another fry, sifting for one that appeared more enticing than the rest. There was an obvious answer.
“Claire.”
Chris swiped a fry through some ketchup, grinning.
“Bingo.”
It was a birthday gift, to be exact. The field mice were meant to reference an inside joke between Chris and Claire; something that, upon remembering, made him burst with laughter. Leon had never seen Chris laugh like that- never really seen him laugh much at all. The sound was brighter than anything he’d heard before. He couldn’t help but smile back. (Maybe Redfield joy was just contagious. He’d seen it in Claire once or twice too.)
“Oh, come on. You have to tell me-”
Even as Chris tried to protest, he bubbled with laughter again, and Leon had to stave off a laugh of his own. (When was the last time he had to keep himself from genuinely giggling like this? He waved the thought away, enraptured by the flash of Chris’ teeth, the smile lines of his face. The gloom and doom could wait.)
“No- no, Claire will kill me.”
“Who would I tell? C’mon, Chris. It’s not like I’m gonna tell Claire if you say anything. You know I wouldn’t do that.”
Chris was looking anywhere but at Leon, whose playful desperation paired with his pretty blue puppy eyes proved to be a worthy opponent for his sworn oath, as an older brother, to keep it Redfield-exclusive (and to protect Claire’s pride).
“It can be our little secret.”
Chris risked a glimpse at Leon- a rookie mistake. His resolve wavered. He took a deep breath, to no avail. “Alright. Fine.” Chris leaned across the table, voice low, fighting off giggling fits as he tried to explain.
Leon learned two things from the mouse bit. One, apparently Redfields could find humor in anything. Or Chris was just bad at explaining whatever the hell he was trying to tell him. (In Chris’ defense, the joke originated when he and Claire were kids. Sometimes jokes become more about something you share with a person than the actual substance of the experience itself.) Two, Chris could be remarkably cute. Sure, Leon had always found him attractive, but there was something so endearing about this side of him.
…Huh.
One of Chris’ hands went up to fiddle with the collar of his patterned shirt. “It’s fun and all, but I’m more of a leather guy.” Leon nearly spat his water out, instead swiftly swallowing the mouthful he’d been trying to drink.
“Jackets, Leon. Leather jackets. You saw Claire’s, right? ‘Made in Heaven,’ across the back. I had one just like it.”
Leon nodded. Of course. Yeah, jackets. Now that he mentioned it, he did somewhat recall stumbling upon a leather jacket by Chris’ desk while rustling through the STARS office. (He’d found a first aid spray tucked in a bag by what he could have only assumed used to be Rebecca’s desk. Funny how she’d helped him then without even knowing.) That made sense. Chris would look good in a leather jacket.
“Although, I do have some gear. Haven’t broken it out in forever.”
He choked that time. Chris laughed again, breathless, delighted by his reaction. If Leon had been looking up, he’d have seen the way Chris’ brown eyes glittered.
As the server passed them the check, Chris swiftly took the bill. “My treat,” he said simply.
The drive back was livelier than the first time around. Chris sang more as they listened to one of the old CD’s he had burned over the years. Leon hadn’t realized how much Chris enjoyed music- hadn’t realized a lot about him until it was laid out just within his reach today. He listened, humming along here and there, glad that he was too busy watching the road to notice the way Leon tilted his head just enough to watch him.
“I used to play guitar,” Chris mentioned. “Back in Raccoon. Before everything.” Leon looked at him sideways, feeling his own fingertips. Imagining Chris in the late 90’s: rowdy, boy-ish, trying to figure out the frets for a chord with his pick between his lips. If they’d met then, he’d have been doomed. Chris was everything he couldn’t have had then- not that it would have stopped him from chasing him like a stray anyways.
He parked in his driveway again- where they started, barely a few hours ago.
“I’m really proud of you, Leon.”
Chris’ voice was soft. He was looking somewhere far away, past the driver’s side window. There it was again- that feeling that had been trailing them all evening.
“When Rebecca and I “interrupted your vacation,” you… I-” he hesitated, head bowing a little.
“I won’t lie, it scared the hell out of me.” Leon watched his jaw clench, scarred fingers flexing around the steering wheel. “I saw the worst of myself in you. It hurt me to see you like that, especially because I know you’re better than that.” His voice trembled a little on that last phrase. Better than I am.
Chris’ shoulders tensed, gaze finally flickering back to meet Leon’s. His lips were pressed tight, holding back all the words he’d been trying to string together before they tumbled out as clumsily as the last. He sighed heavily; he liked to think he was usually a little more put together than this. Leon, on the other hand, was quieter than Chris had expected him to be. He gave the slightest of nods- go on.
“What I’m trying to say is: I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I’m sorry, Leon.”
Chris let go of the wheel, laying his hands in his lap.
“I’m so glad you’re taking the steps to get the help you need right now. I just wish I could’ve helped you sooner.”
Slowly, Leon reached out a hand, gently clasping Chris’ shoulder. The ghost of a flinch flashed across his face, and Leon’s hand hovered, tentatively finding a different place. Watching carefully, he lowered the hand experimentally, rubbing a soothing circle into the spot when it seemed safe. Chris closed his eyes, humming with appreciation.
(Leon made a mental note of it. He wanted to learn these things too- so that when Chris needed a comforting touch, he knew precisely how to give it to him. He’d map the constellations of scars, and with time he’d be able to navigate him as if second nature. Chris would come around again, call Leon when he needed him. Just like he had called Chris.)
“You’re helping me now. That means something, doesn’t it?”
Chris chuckled wearily. “I guess. But-”
Leon frowned at that, opting to interrupt him before he spiraled further. “Nuh-uh. No but’s. It’s about time you give yourself some damn credit, Chris.”
He was quick to unbuckle his seat belt, shoving the center console so that it folded backwards, granting him space in the middle seat. Without missing a beat, Chris leaned back, allowing Leon to crowd him into the corner of the car, between the driver’s seat and the window.
“Okay, Leon, I get it-”
“No, I don’t think you do. Not until you acknowledge it.”
“Acknowledge what?”
“That you’re helping me.”
“But-”
Leon shot him a pointed glare: no more excuses. “Chris.”
“Okay, fine. I’m helping you.”
“Doing a great job at it too. We had a nice dinner, and then you had to go and get sappy on me.”
Chris raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “Weren’t you trying to comfort me?”
Leon just shrugged, feigning something like nonchalance. “I was, but then I remembered that you ruined our date.”
“I didn’t ruin our-”
The word registered late for both of them. Leon was first to flush pink, silently hoping that it was subdued by the sunset. Awash with its dreamy hues, the brown of Chris’ eyes were honey-like, and for a moment he thought he caught his pupils grow just a tiny bit wider. He settled in the middle seat dumbly, ears alight.
“I mean. You ruined our night.” A pause. “That my therapist specifically prescribed.” A wince. A well-timed call from Hunnigan would’ve been nice. A sudden BOW attack didn’t sound too shabby either- something, anything that could get Leon out of the grave he had dug himself into.
But then Chris’ hand grasped Leon’s chin, turning his face so they were looking at one another.
“Sorry, Leon. I didn’t mean to ruin our night. Think your therapist will forgive me?”
“That, uh. Depends.”
“On…?”
“Whether or not this was a date.”
(“You kinda gave me the whole boyfriend experience tonight: you got all dressed up for me, paid for my meal, turned on the waterworks.” Leon paused, catching the double entendre. His cheeks puffed slightly as he exhaled, a gleam in his eye. “Okay. Maybe not the full boyfriend experience, but the night’s still young. Hell of a lot younger than us.” Chris laughed at that, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “We’re not actually that old, you know.”)
Chris couldn’t stop himself from smiling. His thumb caressed along the apple of Leon’s cheek. “Hmm. Well, I guess that’ll depend.”
Leon rolled his eyes, affection softening the action. “On?”
“Whether or not your therapist prescribes all your dates. ‘Cause if she does, I’ve got a few ideas I’d need to run by her.”
Before Leon could even formulate a response, his phone buzzed. Annoyed to be interrupted, he pulled it out of his pocket, sparing a glance at the notification. He regretted checking it instantly. New info on the target gave HQ just enough of a lead to move his mission debrief- they needed him in the office ASAP. He groaned, frustrated. Chris’ hand trailed upward, running his fingers through his hair. It soothed him surprisingly easily, placating him just enough to not totally sour his mood.
“I gotta go,” Leon sighed. Chris nodded- he knew the demand (the sacrifice) of their line of work better than anyone else. Leon pulled away, out of the warmth of Chris’ palm. The short walk up to his doorstep had never felt longer- not even when he’d limped home after he’d screwed his knee way back in Spain. As he slotted the key into the door lock, big hands found his waist, twirling him around.
Chris leaned in, pressing a kiss to Leon’s cheek- surprisingly gentleman-like. Chaste. Shy, even. His heart almost ached at the feeling: a taste of domesticity, of normalcy. Of the life neither of them could truly have. But if they could find it in moments like this- the smallest ember of hope glowed in Leon’s chest, and seeing how Chris smiled at him, he knew that he must have felt it too.
✧˖
Later, after the meeting was over, Leon checked his phone, and to his surprise, he had a few texts waiting for him- from Chris.
‘It wasn’t originally a date, by the way. I did have high hopes, but I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of being here for you. You’re my friend first, Leon.
But if you still want to go on that date with me, I’ll make it up to you- for ruining our night.
I was being serious; I have a few ideas already.
Had them for a while.
Next time, let’s leave your therapist out of it, though, okay? Kinda kills the mood, don’t you think?
And don’t think I forgot about you being “indebted” to me. Yeah, I’m talking about the seat belt thing again- y’know, for an ex-cop, you sure as hell could learn a thing or two about car safety. I could teach you, if you want; I was STARS, after all.
Hey, speaking of ideas, I’ve got a few for how you can thank me- after our first non-therapy date. Although, I’m starting to think this helped me a whole lot more than it helped you. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to give you a real helping hand next time.
See you again soon.’
Leon chuckled to himself. Whenever he got back, he would have to buy his therapist flowers or something- and a bouquet for Chris, too. (Who knows. Maybe he’d toss a plush mouse in there, make it special. Anything to see that signature Chris smile.)
#chreonweek2024#chreon week 2024#chris redfield#leon kennedy#chreon#chris x leon#leon s kennedy#leon scott kennedy#resident evil#thanks 4 reading!! i know this one's a little long and sometimes doesn't seem to go anywhere but! i hope it was. something!#i obviously follow my train of thought a little too much BUT IT'S OKAY!!#im gonna press the funny post button before i lose the courage#typewriter.txt#fic.exe
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