#im tired of you people who think you can just be mean to the other mods under anon with no consequences
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hallo! hope im not too late, but congratulations on finishing your exams!! i hope everything went smoothly :3
could you write floyd with a reader who’s very reactive? like sobbing at anything sad, shrieking at anything scary, squealing when something good happens, or even snapping when they’re under too much pressure
hcs or fic, whichever you want! congrats again on ur exams :33
ofc!! thank you for your patience, also :3
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ expressive reader
type of post: headcanons characters: floyd additional info: platonic or romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
you've probably been called a lot of things: overdramatic, sensitive, emotional... but not fun. never fun. that is, until you meet Floyd. what can I say? he goes with the flow, and he's not one to really care about what other people think of you. you're you, and you're fun
he's just weird like that
after all, everyone at this school is so snobby and boring... and there's only so many times he can bother Riddle before he gets bored of that, too
he never tires of you, though. he never really knows how you're going to react to something; just when he thinks he has you all figured out, you surprise him
you're exciting!!!
I mean, he'll go out of his way to get a reaction out of you; purposefully annoying you, jumpscaring you, and doing things he knows'll make you happy. he basically follows you around like a lost puppy all day
really, he's never put-off by anything
shriek in his ear and he won't even react
you're his favorite, and he makes no secret of it. he can get pretty protective over his toys
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Celestial Bodies AU (7/?)
(Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6. Also on AO3)
Sometimes, it felt like the whole world was against her.
It was especially evident in Batman's pissy attitude and his insistence on her quitting her night job, despite how he allowed Tim and Dick to do whatever they wanted.
She may not have been trained like those two, but it didn't mean that he couldn't step up and teach her, right? She had to rely on her own wits and Tim's sporadic (and admittedly rather lackluster) moments of teaching in order to know how to defend herself without a weapon.
So yeah, now that she had an opportunity to rub it in Bruce's face that he was wrong to dismiss her, she wouldn't let this opportunity go!
At least, that was what she was thinking before the harsh reality of being stuck to Batman all the time hit her.
Quite literally.
Robin groaned, rubbing her sore shoulders after another day of patrol with Batman. She messaged Tim with one hand while the other started taking off her cape and belt. She started peeling off her mask as Tim responded back.
Girl Wonder: tim
Girl Wonder: howas ur day
Boy Loser: Fine
Boy Loser: How was yours
Girl Wonder: pandil
Girl Wonder: painful*
Boy Loser: Lmaoaoaoao
Stephanie sighed again, as Tim started teasing her about the spelling mistake. Sometimes, he would let it go and sometimes, he had to rub it in her face. Usually, she would just roll her eyes fondly and take the ribbing, but today, she just wanted comfort.
After Tim had been forced to shelve Robin after his dad found out about his secret identity, he has given her the role of becoming Robin. She had taken it with great reverence, but Batman clearly wasn’t ready to let go of Tim yet, because he was an absolute asshole while training her.
She felt like perhaps he was seeing someone else through her (either Tim or someone else…?) but it was so tiring and infuriating that she didn’t mention it, only wanting to quit Robin after a few weeks of this near-torture.
Batman was oddly petty for a man who spent his life fighting crime.
… wait a minute.
Stephanie sighed again.
Boy Loser: ... Steph? You alright?
Stephanie pursed her lips as she realized her uncharacteristic lack of reply was now worrying Tim.
Girl Wonder: yea
Girl Wonder: B is being a dick
Boy Loser: ... I wish I could make some sort of Dick joke but I feel like it won't be appreciated rn
Boy Loser: What happened?
Stephanie chuckled a little and continued to reply.
Girl Wonder: nthing but he keeps putting me down
Girl Wonder: it pisses me off
Girl Robin: im robin now! i dont deserve this
The three talking dots popped up as Tim began typing out his reply and Stephanie waited, suddenly wondering if she had been too whiny and he was annoyed. After all, how many people got to say that they were handed the Robin costume by an actual Robin and then allowed to be Batman's sidekick? She needed to be grateful, but it was difficult when Batman was being a little bi—
Okay, deep breaths.
Stephanie shook off her thoughts, just as Tim finally replied.
Boy Loser: How about going to meet the cluster?
She blinked.
Girl Wonder: the wut?
Boy Loser: The Phantom Cluster? All Robins got a star bonded to them. Like mine, remember?
She paused again.
She didn't know much about the Phantom Cluster. All she knew were that they were a group of cursed children who were forced into becoming sentient stars. They were considered all-knowing, but relied on a Robin in order to exploit some unknown loophole in their curse and grow up past their frozen ages.
At least, that was what Tim had explained to her.
Girl Wonder: ... can i do that?
Boy Loser: I'll come and bring you to them?
Boy Loser: I want to see my star anyways.
Wow, she almost wanted to feel jealous, but she had already been long aware of his obsession with his star and now it was just funny to see how close he was to them.
Girl Wonder: ok
Boy Loser: Sweet. Stay there
Her eyes widened.
Girl Wonder: right now??
He didn't respond. Only 10 minutes later, as Stephanie debated between taking off her uniform or leaving it on to leave a more professional impression on the stars, did Tim scurry into the Batcave with a breathless smile.
"Let's go!" He said. "I snuck past my dad and Bruce for this."
Stephanie laughed, "You're so excited! Don't you have camera feed of your star? It's not like you haven't seen her in a while."
"Nothing beats seeing her in person," Tim grinned. "C'mon, I'll show you how to get to the cluster."
He directed her towards the tube and began explaining its mechanisms and codes for various locations. Stephanie listened carefully, although there were butterflies in her stomach as she thought about meeting the cluster.
Would they hate her?
After all, no matter how much she wished she was, she wasn't like the other Robins. If all of the previous Robins had a star, would she be considered different if she didn’t have one herself?
Suddenly, she felt nauseous. What if she wasn’t chosen? Would it be further proof that she wasn’t meant to be a hero?
She suddenly felt a hand slide into hers. She blinked and looked up as Tim gave her a small, reassuring smile.
“It’ll be okay, I promise. They’re nice.”
Stephanie returned his look with a shaky smile and then the two of them went into the tube, and off they went.
When they landed, Stephanie barely had a moment to bounce back before Tim was pulling her through the metal halls. They walked for a while, and Tim finally burst from the silence.
“Did you read the files about the Phantom Cluster?”
“They’re locked to me,” Stephanie replied. “I only know what you and Dick told me and that they’re a group of sentient stars.”
“That’s because Bruce can get… irritated and try to delete or edit the information. We locked it so only Robins know the passwords,” Tim explained. “But the Phantom Cluster is a group of sentient astronomical bodies, such as several stars and planets. There’s six of the main ones, but there are also a few other planets that can occasionally communicate with them. However, they’re not as sentient and only the six in the middle is— actually, I’ll just let you see for yourself.”
Stephanie followed him and when he finally opened the doors to the command room, she stopped in place and stared.
The room they were in was shaped like a half circle, and all of the walls were covered in glass, allowing ample view of the stars outside. In front of the glass were several machines and computers, silent as they flashed with notifications and alerts about the readings of the stars.
A soft song was playing, one made entirely by voices. It was angelic, like that of a choir and it sent a shiver down Stephanie’s spine as the chilling and seductive music wrapped around her like a siren’s call.
But she wasn’t too focused on the singing.
No, she was focused on the stars.
They were beautiful.
Dick had mentioned it once, how much he loved looking at them. Tim had also mentioned it several times, of how he visited them just to watch them and to see his star.
With the way they spoke of them at times, Stephanie sometimes wondered if they were brainwashed.
But now, she could understand.
Humans had always been fascinated by the stars. It was what created astronomy, telescopes, stories of constellations and space travel and aliens, it was what created NASA and the moon landing and astrology and rocket ships.
She could understand it now.
In the middle of space was a cluster of stars. Four of them whirled and twirled around each other with various degrees of energy. One in particular spun and slowed down in intervals, like doing a skip during a walk because it was so excited that it had to jump a little, but it still wanted to keep pace with the group.
There were also two planets, one covered in clouds and the other was a red and yellow sandy looking planet with wide rings surrounding it. They circled the stars quickly, but carefully, like trying to keep close but also not wanting to bump into the hot balls of gasses. A variety of asteroids and other smaller planets then circled them at a distance, as if not wanting to get closer.
Stephanie could quite literally see the personality within all of them, as they orbited one another.
Tim grinned. “They’re amazing, right?”
“You weren’t kidding,” she breathed.
Tim pulled her to the window and then pointed at a large, bluish star. “That’s Dick’s. We call it Nightwing’s star or Dick’s star. He’s one of the oldest and also the largest. He can be kinda mean, but he protects Dick a lot.”
“How can a star be mean?” Stephanie wondered. She watched as Dick’s star spun and then directed the pretty pink and purple clouds towards two other astronomical bodies.
“You’ll know what I mean,” Timothy said, before pointing to another celestial body. This time, it was a swirling, bow-tie shaped thing that was funneling gas and dust. There were two of them, but this one was distinctly colored blue and was smaller than the other.
“Is that…?”
“Yeah. That one is my star. Well, she’s actually a baby star— a protostar,” Timothy proclaimed proudly. “Isn’t she beautiful? I call her partner.”
Stephanie stared with a mixture of amazement and endearment. “She’s pretty cute. She’s smaller than all of the others!”
“Yeah. She’s the baby of the cluster.” He pointed to the other protostar. “And that one is… Jason’s.”
Stephanie stared at its enormous, funneling body and nodded slowly. “… it shows that he’s alive, huh?”
“Yeah. That’s the big sister of the cluster. She’s Jason’s star, and we don’t know how but… they’re back.”
Stephanie nodded again. She knew of this. Before Tim quit and while she was still Spoiler, she would occasionally babysit Gotham whenever he left with Nightwing in order to search for Jason.
“…. At least they’re both back?” She offered awkwardly.
Tim nodded. “At least they’re back.” He pointed to a small, faintly glowing blue and green ball that was following Tim’s star. “That one is the King. He takes care of the other stars and he’s a neutron star. He also used to be a hero, like us, before he died.”
“How young was he? Do we know?”
Tim met eyes with her.
“He was fourteen when he died,” he said softly, and Stephanie pursed her lips.
The amount of child heroes who died before 16 was quite uncomfortable.
The atmosphere was suddenly awkward, but Tim forcibly changed the subject and pointed to the two planets. “And lastly, these are the other two planets. They’re part of the ones singing as well as the main six of the cluster. That one is a rocky planet and that one has life on it, but we haven’t been able to touch down on either of them.”
Stephanie blinked and leaned closer to the glass in awe, squinting to try and see past the thick clouds. “Life? Like Earth? Why can’t we land?”
“They won’t let us. Sometimes, we can fly along their orbit, but when they get mad or want to stop us, they’ll push us back. The stars will help and send out solar flares and if they get really pissed, well, it’s not pretty.”
Interested, Stephanie asked, “What happens?”
Tim shrugged. “I'm not sure. But there were some people who betrayed the Justice League and tried to come here to take over. The stars took them out.”
Stephanie’s eyebrows rose.
She looked around for an invisible camera.
Did Timothy Drake, once Robin, just tell her that the stars killed people?
“Wait, what? How?”
“One ship got pulled in via the gravitational pull and then exploded on Dick’s star, and another ship had an asteroid hit them and a hole appeared in the hull. They all died.”
Stephanie recoiled. “Wait, seriously? They all died?”
Tim nodded. “Yeah. The Justice League was pissed. Dick argued that the stars were just defending themselves and—“
“The Justice League was mad at the stars??”
Stephanie felt like she was learning too many things at once. She was almost dizzy from the confusion.
Timothy gave her a light glare for interrupting him again but said, “The Justice League was angry since they had deliberately killed people. Even the asteroid was intentional.” He shrugged then. “But what can they do? Punish the Cluster? Dick fought for them and they’re still here as allies to the Justice League and to the Robins. But that’s also why you don’t see any other heroes here. They kinda stopped coming after that, though Superman does visit sometimes.”
“… wow. That’s so messed up on so many levels.”
Tim grinned.
“So, ready to introduce yourself? They’re waiting.”
Well, that wasn’t ominous at all. Especially with all of the very nice, normal things he just told her about the stars.
Stephanie told him that and he laughed. She took that brief moment to allow the panic to sink in and then flow out of her as she took a deep breath.
“Okay,” she said, facing the main communicator, “I’m ready.”
“I’ll introduce you,” Tim said. He tapped the glass softly and then said, "Hello, everyone."
There was a pause as the hair rose on the back of Stephanie's neck, and she listened as the sound of angelic song slowed to a halt, allowing only ocean waves and TV static to fill the room with an energy that she could not place.
The crackle of static and burbling of water was the only sound for awhile.
And then—
"Hey, partner."
Tim beamed. "Hey, partner. It's good to see you. You're getting bigger, huh?"
The protostar gave a deliberate whirl, sparkling as gas and dust rubbed against each other within its accretion disks.
There was suddenly an angry, high pitched noise on the communicator.
Both Stephanie and Tim winced, although Tim also looked exasperated.
Dick's star, which had been silently following the orbital path suddenly froze in place. It turned slowly, seemingly facing in one spot before stopping completely, its edges flaring with bursts of light.
“Is… is that Dick's star glaring at you?” She said, bordering on a laugh. Tim’s star did a cycle around the other protostar and then did a loop around Dick’s star, as if trying to poke it into reacting. Dick’s star was still for a moment longer, before inching along their orbital path again without spinning, as if still trying to keep its eyes on Tim through the glass.
She burst into giggles, absolutely delighted in the way Tim looked exasperated and resigned of a star seemingly trying to antagonize him.
“Yeah. He’s like that a lot whenever I’m around,” Tim sighed exaggeratedly.
“That’s so cute! To be honest, I didn’t expect them to have so much personality.”
“Yeah, me too. But once you get to know them, they’re really fun. Even if Dick’s star hates my guts.”
Stephanie giggled again. “He’s like an overprotective dad.”
“Yeah, but at least I'm not the only one he hates. He also really— uhm.” Timothy paused in the middle of his tirade.
Stephanie blinked and turned to stare at him.
Timothy looked uncomfortable, but soldiered on and continued, “But I also heard that he disliked Jason too. Apparently, he was pissed when Jason got his star. He has a real complex about his sisters from what we know.”
Stephanie tried to imagine the image of a big blue ball throwing a hissy fit because his sisters were being taken away by human boys, and the absurdity made her laugh.
“Aww, poor guy!” She snickered. “He just wants you stinky boys away from his sisters.”
“Hey!” Timothy exclaimed with a playful glare. “I take showers!”
"Coulda fooled me!"
Tim huffed a laugh and then addressed the Cluster again. "Everyone, this is Robin."
There was a pause, and then the Cluster spoke in unison, a whispery coo, "Hello, Robin."
Stephanie breathed out a sigh of relief as Tim perked up, smiling broadly.
One voice in particular spoke up over the rest.
"Robin, I have someone who'd like to make a deal with you."
Its voice was soft and light, but there was a quality within that made her want to relax within its soothing reverb.
Stephanie couldn't help grabbing at Tim in excitement, who patted her hand with a wide grin.
"Would you like to accept?"
She coughed to calm herself down. "... who is asking?"
The communicator crackled and then the cluster spoke again, with the one voice leading in front, "Come into the space pod and you will be taken to him."
Stephanie met eyes with Tim. Timothy raised an eyebrow and then shrugged.
"Now what?"
"... I guess you go?"
She gulped. She looked at Tim for reassurances, for him to tell her— something, but he didn't.
He just stared at her and then smiled, a glint in his eyes that she knew was him knowing something that he didn't want to share.
Stephanie sighed.
She went into the space pod that was attached to the station with instructions to just stay still and let the Cluster's solar winds lead her to where she needed to go, and off she sent.
Stephanie sat in the space pod, watching the distant stars and galaxies while she was slowly led deeper and deeper into the Phantom Cluster. The communicator crackled with no words as she sat there in a drifting metal ship within the vacuum of space.
For a moment, she wondered if she was going to die.
She wondered if they were rejecting her and would then kill her via asteroid smashing into the pod or fire as they guided her straight into a star's surface.
She wondered if this was going to be the last thing she ever saw, stars and planets and galaxies in her eyes before her life ended, but when she blinked, she was sailing straight into the golden planet with rings.
Her eyes widened and she held on as the pod began to shake with its descent into a planet's atmosphere.
She yelped as the pod sank past the deep yellow clouds and then she was falling.
"Oh fuck!" She screamed, as she immediately tried steadying the pod.
But there was nothing. The buttons on the pod were not meant to let the driver steer, since it was merely an extension of the space shuttle that the stars were meant to guide themselves.
For a moment, she cursed Tim and Dick and all of the Robins and their insane trust in the stars for creating a death trap of a machine, and as her heart lurched into her throat, she was suddenly caught and the pod stilled.
She looked out the window and gaped.
Metal contraptions were floating in the air, attaching to the pod to slowly bring it down to the ground.
No, wait, it wasn't floating. The metal contraptions were part of the ground too. They looked like long tentacles that drifted from the ground to bring her down.
A shudder ran down Stephanie's spine.
What did this mean?
Had someone landed on the planet before the Justice League or the Robins had?
When she was guided down onto the ground, she hesitated.
She was not like Tim or Dick. Hell, she didn't even become Robin because she particularly wanted to or because Bruce offered. She became Robin only because Tim asked her to take care of Gotham while he was a civilian.
She was Spoiler before she was Robin. She was not like the others.
(She wasn't even a boy, or a particularly good Robin. Batman had never treated the other Robins like he treated her: carelessly, callously, coldly.)
But the thought of getting Batman's approval, of being a real Robin made her move. She pressed the button and the door opened.
For a moment, she worried that she wouldn't have been able to breathe, but before she could worry about lack of oxygen, something sand colored began crawling towards her at high speeds.
She screamed and immediately flew back to the pod, trying to close the door to no avail.
Looking closer, it was like some bizarre mix between a gold colored android and a mummy. It was the size of an adult man and looked half broken, like it needed repairing. It didn't matter though, because it was approaching the space pod rapidly and Stephanie was weaponless.
She shrieked again when the android climbed into the pod and started crawling after her. She kicked at it and it stopped moving when she started screaming and cried out, “What the hell!”
It twitched and then crept towards her again.
Stephanie waved a hand hurriedly. “No, no! Don’t get closer!”
It paused.
Stephanie almost could've cried.
Just what was going on?
The android twitched and then it pulled out something from a pouch on its waist.
It clicked and then laid the thing on the ground at her feet.
Stephanie flinched and moved away.
"What is that?" She asked, thankful that she did not stutter.
The communicator finally spoke then, and a voice called out, "That's a mask to help you breathe. If you don't want sand or glass in your lungs, wear it."
Stephanie blinked and turned her head, though she didn't take her eyes off of the android thing.
"Are you... the planet?"
The echoey voice of a planetary body made him sound wistful as he hummed, "Mhm. You should leave the ship."
"What about..." she did a vague gesture towards the mummy-android thing.
"He's a helper. He won't hurt you."
Stephanie hesitated for only a second before she moved. She took the mask and fit it onto her face. Then she carefully followed the helper. It crawled away and led her to their destination, but as Stephanie stared at it, she realized that its legs were broken off.
Was it damaged?
She didn’t ask, a little too weirded out by the entire situation. Instead, she observed the world around her.
The ground was dry with dirt and sand. A light wind blew the sand in billowing, gold swirls. She noticed that the mask seemed to protect her from the sand, since she felt none of the wind against her skin, and she narrowed her eyes before looking up at the red sky. Slightly visible above the yellow clouds, was the bright figures of the other stars, glowing brightly like white circles.
The air was thick, like she was breathing through a heavy, dry soup. The temperature was hot, almost scorching, but Stephanie persisted as the robot continued.
She swallowed, trudging carefully past the thick sand, and the robot thing led her to a blocky mobile home-looking machine. It stopped by the door and tilted its head.
Stephanie shivered. “Am I… supposed to go inside?”
It creaked and then nodded.
Stephanie cursed out Tim again and then stepped inside, pushing the heavy door with a grunt. Piles of sand covered the floor, making her feet sink as she walked through.
It was like a small cabin made of metal. Inside were tables and a bed, all crowded in unreadable papers and books. Wires and metal tubes covered the ceiling in a tangled mess, and a large supercomputer was attached to the wall at the end of the room.
The screen buzzed with static.
Stephanie stared, watching the faint light of the computer sparkle across the dark room, lighting everything with dark shadows before she stepped through the sand and approached like a mindless puppet.
When she was close enough to the computer screen, it flickered with a spark before turning black. Stephanie tensed.
The air began to feel heavy, like a pressure was being put on her, like eyes were beginning to watch her.
There was a hum, and then the screen crackled.
It turned black, and then pale bronze words began to type, one by one in quick succession.
“Hello, Robin.”
There was no sound, beyond the hum of machinery and the faint back-and-forth of rising tides, despite this place clearly being a desert planet.
Stephanie swallowed again.
“Hello,” she said carefully. She laughed a little, trying to shake off the jitters. “This whole thing is very creepy, y’know?”
“LOL, sorry about that. I’m glad you’re here, Robin.”
She laughed at the first statement, finding it surreal as to how a planet knew how to use words like “LOL”. At the second sentence, she bowed her head, a weird flare of happiness appearing within her, the humor quickly dying and being replaced by a sense of pride. “Glad to be here,” she mumbled. “Are you… are you the planet?”
The silence was brief, but oddly, she could tell that its personality was pleasant.
“Yes.”
Her mouth felt dry. She just wanted to confirm that the same being who spoke to her on the communicator was the one on the computer, but she still couldn't help but feel a sense of cold going down her spine.
So this was the strength and power of a celestial entity?
“… what is all of this? If you’re a planet, then… who created all of this stuff?”
The pressure grew heavier, like a hand was being pressed down on her. Stephanie tried to straighten underneath it, but it felt gentle and firm, like the hand of her mother when she wanted to scold her but didn’t have the heart to do so.
It made her feel cold and sleepy, but she was awake as the planet then spoke.
"Would you like to make a deal with me?"
The planet asked, and Stephanie hesitated.
Why did it not answer her question? Should she continue to press for answers?
She did not feel the same devotion and love that the other Robins did. She did not know if it was because she was not a real Robin or if it was because she was different from the others, but she just didn't feel the same blind trust for the stars.
(But…
She wanted the approval of Batman. Of Gotham. Of the other Robins. Of the stars.)
She decided not to ask again.
"What... what would it mean? To make a deal with you?"
"You'll be my host,"
Was the patient reply.
"How am I supposed to be a host? What does it do?"
"Just live. And be your true self."
She bit her lip.
But then she thought, what was she supposed to lose?
Every other Robin had a star. Only she didn't have one, and this was her chance.
She wanted to do good. To be good.
"Deal," she said, and the machine crackled. “I’ll be your host.”
“So be it.”
Stephanie had placed her hand carelessly on the machine’s surface, and in the next moment, her palms began to burn. She yelped, but it hadn’t actually hurt. The surprise of the heat made her pull back and she raised her hand to look at her right palm, where a four pointed star now bloomed into existence.
The highest point touched past the second knuckle of her middle finger, while the lowest point reached her wrist. Bronze yellow and wine purple blended together into something unique and beautiful and a flare of warmth spread throughout Stephanie’s body and into her chest.
No wonder the Boy Wonders were so devoted to the stars.
So this is what it felt like to become a host of the stars.
Cheerfully, Stephanie asked, “What do I call you? Is there anything you want me to do for you?”
“Call me whatever you like. And I’ll tell you if I need something.”
Another line appeared below that one.
“Thank you, Robin. For saving me.”
Stephanie blushed. “Okay! Uh, bro!”
“LOL. OK, buddy.”
Later, when her ship was guided back to the sky with the unexplained metal tubes, she was met back into the Phantom Space Station with a pacing Tim, who beamed when he saw her.
“How was it! Did you get it!? Who were they?! What did you call them?!”
Stephanie grinned and presented her palm to him.
Tim squealed.
————
Batman was not as thrilled, but nothing she could do satisfied him much anyways. Nightwing and Oracle were delighted to hear about her new celestial body, while Batgirl looked interested and curious.
Robin was just happy that she had her own celestial body to herself.
At first, it was awkward as Robin didn't understand the signs or signals that were given to her by her astronomical object, but Nightwing and Tim had no problem helping her understand how to interpret them. As time continued, they began to work together in amazing ways.
Whenever she dealt with any machinery (which was unfortunately a lot as too many people had access to bombs for some reason), it was always handled easier than before. She also felt no more fatigue or exhaustion from traveling in hot, dry weather, and had a minor immunity to heat and electricity.
Her abilities were not entirely unique, as she discovered that the other Robins also had shared abilities, but only she could communicate with her celestial body through her phone or computer.
She learned that he was a funny, easy-going individual who loved food and meat dishes and technology.
In many ways, he was so human that she often forgot that he wasn’t actually one.
It made her feel complicated, remembering how he was once a child, just like her, before whatever happened to him and the other astronomical objects.
But no matter how she asked or cajoled or coaxed, it was useless because he shut down every single time.
In the end, all she knew was this.
Whatever curse was placed upon the stars, only the Robins could save them.
So she just shrugged it off and continued to chat and use her planet’s help in being a better vigilante. With his technological help and his aid in guiding her, she was slowly learning new hobbies, better techniques, and more knowledge.
Robin was relearning her place in the hero scene as the partner of Batman, and with her celestial body by her side, she knew that she could do anything.
But all good things must come to an end. Like how great TV shows got canceled, like how the last day of childhood ended, like how everyone died eventually, like how the sea pulled back, like how stars evaporated from going supernova.
It had happened so suddenly.
She had thought she was doing well.
Robin— no, Stephanie bit her lip.
She wasn't Robin anymore.
Batman had fired her.
She fought back the tears in her eyes at the injustice of it all. She knew she made mistakes. She knew she wasn't perfect. But she just wanted to feel like she belonged, like she was doing good.
It wasn't fair how everyone else made mistakes, but she wasn't allowed. So that was why she decided that she had to prove herself.
She had thought that she was doing so well, but Batman had not thought the same.
It had not even taken him a second thought before he fired her.
He would have never treated any of the other Robins this way.
(Somewhere in the sky, the stars murmured to themselves, tending to their comatose sister.)
She was about to look into the files of the Batcomputer for a plan to implement and prove herself as a hero, when the keyboards sparked as she pressed her fingers down.
She paused.
The spark crackled and then flew into the computer with a fizzle. The screen glitched and then turned black and Stephanie froze as an intense wave of fear entered her, quickening her breath and heartbeat until she was frozen with terror, almost unable to breathe.
The feeling of being watched by an otherworldly being washed over her again, more pervasive than ever before.
The screen flickered and then coppery yellow words appeared. The fear began to fade like a lowering tide and Stephanie finally breathed as she read the words that began to type.
"Stop what you're doing."
The sound of space filled the Batcave with a hiss, the familiar crackle of technology struggling to understand the words of celestial objects and the ocean waves of outer space, washing over her like the unforgiving sea.
"... buddy?"
The keyboard moved without her input. Words were typed onto the screen by unseen hands.
"I'm here."
His words were reassuring, but the next sentences that appeared were anything but.
"Stop what you're doing, Robin. You'll kill yourself."
The stars could see the future. They often warned the Justice League of future events and dangers, and even the Robins were often given prophetic dreams when the stars could offer them. Jason was the best example, as the only Robin so far who could communicate with his star in dreams. Everything he had known from the stars were foretold as true.
This fact popped into Stephanie's mind.
Her vision began to blur from an onslaught of tears. Her breath hitched and then she sobbed.
Oh stars.
Nothing she did was right.
She covered her face and whimpered. Tears involuntarily flowed down her face and her cheeks felt hot with humiliation and shame. Humiliation for being caught at trying to hack the Batcomputer to come back as Robin, and shame as she realized that she would've inconvenienced everyone by dying doing so.
Was this a sign that she was actually supposed to abandon her life as a vigilante?
The keyboard tapped away again. She blinked the tears from her eyes and looked up through blurry vision.
"Don't cry. You're still my Robin."
Stephanie sniffed. Finally, she croaked, "What?"
"You were Robin once. But that's not your future. You have another identity, don't you?"
Spoiler.
Stephanie straightened her back as she realized what he was trying to imply. After a moment, as the realization set in, she reached up to wipe her eyes. She breathed in deeply and calmed herself down forcibly.
"Are you saying that... I should go back to being Spoiler?"
"You were never meant to stay as a Robin, bro."
The casual, flippant "bro" was so absurd that she giggled wetly.
She stood up from the chair and nodded, blinking the sting from her eyes.
But she felt better.
Sharp relief filled her and she shuddered at the swell of emotion that got rid of the dark negativity within her.
Suddenly, she knew who she was.
Like Nightwing, she had found her true calling. But unlike the others, unlike any other Robin, she was returning to her true identity.
A Spoiler of secrets and evil plans.
She wore purple far before she wore red, yellow, and green. She was a vigilante far before Batman. She was a Spoiler far before she was a Robin.
And just because she had changed her identity, just because Batman fired her, just because she had failed in one thing did not mean she had failed entirely.
Now she was almost embarrassed, but she just felt relieved more than anything. It made her want to go slack, but she took another deep breath to calm down.
"Okay," she said softly. "Okay. You'll be with me, right, buddy?"
She looked up as the keyboard clacks continued and golden letters started to appear on the screen again. Even though there was nothing spoken aloud, she could sense the affection in each word as her celestial body typed a response for her.
"Of course. I'll always be here for you."
Stephanie beamed and tidied up the Batcomputer before leaving the cave.
She did not need Batman to be a hero.
Just like she didn't need to be Robin to do something more with her life either.
The next day, as she put on her old uniform, dark purples and magentas and blacks, she checked up on her astronomical body with the tablet given to her by Tim and laughed.
A pale yellow moon was following her planet.
A gentle song came from the screen, soft and soothing, a sign of change and revival, like the rain after a period of drought, like the peeking flower buds underneath snow, like the moon's reappearance after a dark night.
In it, she could hear a third voice, a male voice that was lighter than Dick's star, one with a hint of teenage youthfulness and strength.
Stephanie smiled, touching the screen with her right palm.
“Is that yours? Are you in your final form?" She asked with a small smile. “Did that appear because I’m Spoiler again?”
The moon gave a little deliberate twirl and Stephanie grinned.
She pulled out her grappling gun and then opened the window to her apartment. She jumped out onto the roof and aimed the grappling hook. With a single shot, she hit a building and then jumped, flying through the air with a loud whoop.
The Spoiler was back.
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Soooo much lore. I’m not sure who would’ve betrayed the Justice League, but knowing DC’s long history, there’s probably someone, right??
Nothing makes me lmao more than having Dan hate on Jason and Tim bc they’re too close to his sisters.
Tucker with the ability to communicate with Steph through tech!!
Him guiding her through becoming a hero on her own right without Batman 🥹 the reason why she feels different from the other Robins is bc she actually doesn’t feel different, she’s just doesn’t understand the feeling.
Also, has anyone noticed that a lot of the events that make a Robin who they are is basically Bruce being a jerk or an uncommunicative asshole? Like seriously, I'm struggling to make him a good dad sometimes.
Planet classification is not as fun as stellar classification… but Tucker is an extragalactic, chthonian, and desert or terrestrial giant exoplanet. Extragalactic = outside of the Milky Way, chthonian = a gas giant that’s been stripped of its gas layers and circles really close to its star, terrestrial = made of rocks or metals, exoplanet = a planet that orbits another star from the Sun.
…. Ik it’s a lot, but I had to get specific. In essence however, he’s just a terrestrial giant exoplanet. He’s big, but only around the size of Neptune or Uranus.
Why does Stephanie get saved but not Jason? You will find out :) writing these as one-shots mean that they take time, also bc I’m close to finals and my classes are getting harder.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#celestial object au#stephanie brown#tucker foley#tim drake#phantom family
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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Something something S4 shows through Nancy how someone can be pressured into a relationship by well meaning people, how easy it is to project your significant other onto someone familiar when they're gone, something something Nancy only started giving Steve eyes during situations he reminded her of key moments in her relationship with Jonathan, how you could see all over her face that she was going to reject him, how the audiences emotions are lined up with Steve and not her and the fact that Steve wants a girlfriend so badly means the audience wants him to have a girlfriend too bc he deserves it ! He's grown so he can do better this time ! She CAN love him ! Look ! The people who just officially met them this week think they're true love ! But Nancy is in love with Jonathan. But Steve wants a white picket fence life at the end of a cul-de-sac with 6 children, which Nancy said herself is like her worst nightmare. But Steve was never the problem in their relationship. Nancy didn't love him. Nancy is not a prize. He doesn't deserve her for changing. And the people trying to matchmake them DO NOT KNOW BOTH PARTIES WELL. Robin JUST officially started talking to Nancy, all she really has to go off of is whatever Steve has told her and EDDIE met BOTH OF THEM officially like three days ago. All he knows is their reputations really, and that "act of true love" was entirely typical of Nancy's character and she would've done it for just about anyone she cares about, he doesn't know that though because he doesn't know her. And she ended the season in her bf's arms setting up their conflict in s5 while Steve ended the season alone but with his friends.
#ok draft go off#im actually reluctant to post this just bc now I'll only have 68 drafts#this post is about byler. plot twist !#i fear i have no more words. this doesnt usually happen to me#i am SO tired tho so cut me some slack i swear the next time i randomly post smthn the tags will go crazy 🤞 campers honor#stranger things#byler#jancy#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#steve harrington#will byers#mike wheeler#✋️🙄 pls#ok its the next day and i can think again. this post is abt byler. djbsbd#in the sense that mike was pressured into a relationship by well meaning people who thought they liked each other-#and el was so similar to will that it was easy to project him onto her and when he thought she was gone his relationship w will developed#and when SHE came back he started to recreate what he had with will with her to make it easier to be w her in general#and as she is becoming her own person with her own wants and needs- their relationship suffers for it#also 'you could see it all over their faces' ily speech and he ended the season with will setting up their plot in s5#and el ended it alone (with her family)
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vent. sorry i’m honesty hangry and upset
actually i’m still annoyed. has anyone in this damn fandom heard of filtering tags. for shit. they don’t like
also like not to be ‘what about’ but seriously if your biggest problems are fucking shipping wars on tumblr dot com i envy you. truly.
#misc: personal text#also not to Make It Like That but like#a lot of the people i know who like making art about the legion and/or caecade and vulcade#are people of color as well. like do y’all not hear yourselves. asking racially marginalized people who have historically experienced#slavery/forced cultural assimilation#and a host of other issues#if they LIKE SLAVERY and APPROVE of it IN REAL LIFE#fiction can inform reality yes but truly? it is not that deep. some people like dark themes in fiction. be okay with it#i’m indigenous. much of the legion’s narrative is specifically anti-indigenous. i am *literally the product of genocide*#i still enjoy exploring stories with it. because i can choose to like things. or not like them.#some people like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction. that does not mean they approve of it.#and DO NOT come at me saying ‘wuh wuh wuh well that means you approve of csam and you’re a pro shipper’ or whatever the fuck people are#saying now. because that is NOT what i’m saying and it is not the same. and you damn well know that.#a piece of creative work does not have to always make you comfortable. i like exploring morally challenging narratives. i like nuance.#i like grey areas in my fiction.#does that mean i condone that irl? hell no#because i know what im about. i know my values. and they’re not necessarily reflected in my storytelling or art#personally i think that exploring horror and toxicity in fiction is a good way to build reading comprehension (once you’ve ‘built’#the thinking muscles for it).#honestly i’m just so so so so tired of this moral scare around always Liking The Right Things#and if you like the Wrong Things and Wrong Media that makes you Bad.#it’s fucking dumb#learn to filter out the shit you don’t like. you are allowed to not like things.
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every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.
#text#half the time i think these ppl see other aspec ppl saying that x character feels aroace and then they take it as canon rep#instead of an interpretation of the character which likely was never meant to be written as aspec at all#because majority of people don't even know what that is#this isn't me saying that we shouldn't have aroallo or alloace rep btw#this is me complaining about people throwing aroace ppl under the bus because apparently we are 'hogging' all the representation in media#and it just reads as people being aphobic towards aroace people specifically and it drives me insane#you can ask for more aroallo and alloace characters without complaining and shitting on aroace characters????#like bro we are all on the same fucking team. we are all trying to get seen and understood. we all want to see ourselves in media#stop fighting like one of us is somehow way more privileged than the other because 'you have x rep'#we all have crumbs my guy. just because someone else is getting crumbs doesn't mean that its your crumbs being taken.#idk i see so many posts like this and it makes me feel so unwelcome in the aro and ace communities#im tired of aroace people being used as a scapegoat that you can target to pretend like you're punching up#when in reality you're just committing friendly fire against people who are on your team#i miss when the aro and ace communities used to like... work together as a big aspec community#now ppl r way too focused on separating them and acting like they have nothing in common and don't have the same goals#and both communities now tend to put a lot of blame onto aroace people because of stereotypes we never had control over in the first place#it's exhausting#like the aphobia is coming from inside the house#i didn't go through the ace discourse on tumblr to deal with this shit.
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Today i am in a wee bit of pain. If i watched skizzs 3l pov today and made weird bad takes about him on tumblr dot com would yall forgive me
#i havent watched skizzs 3l perspective because letting me blorboify skizz is a bad idea like in general#but#girls can only think about skizz telling bigb that he’ll only kill people who deserve it for so long before they need to—#bite him and tear him apart violently for information#he said thaf and then killed JIMMY. and CLEO. WHAT HAPPENED BROOOO#like thats so. teehee. toohoo#where did things go wrong for you pal#he’s a case study to me. He’s a commentary on society somehow. trust me (DONT)#this applies to ll!skizz too by the way but that’s a whole other thing i fucking love you team best#(thinks about skizz) what does community even mean to us dawg. Like as humans#bree barks so fucking loud#im nervous about my skizz muts man I love my skizz muts. Please ignore me using your blorbo for my nefarious purposes#i just have thoughts. quite a few. tired of not sharing them and pretending im normal about skizz i need to start biting
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the day osc tumblr stops fighting over tacomic is the day we all heal [adding my personal opinion in the tags]
#tacomic neg#adding the tags so the people im talking about can see this and actually digest it with their eyeballs#its just so tiring#why do u guys care about ship discourse so much for ships that aren't even bad or hurting anyone#please just look away and stop complaining and being unnecessarily mean to people who are doing nothing wrong#i've never seen any actual tacomic shippers MAKE them abusive or toxic or belittle other ships and be so hostile towards them#also it'll make you much happier instead of making you pointlessly mad all the time if u just stop caring#i think people should just stop fighting each other cause it gets nowhere and just makes both parties mad and upset for no reason#but the osc thrives off of negativity and infighting for some reason idk why im even saying this. im not surprised this is happening.#its been like this ever since i joined. don't you guys ever take a break instead of being so negative all the time?#its also hypocritical for reasons i've said before but i don't feel like starting anything up
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y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'
#like maybe a tiny bit of media literacy... might save you#and if you think i'm being mean like. its okay if you don't get it at first. it's okay if you don't understand the themes. but maybe#instead of stamping your feet and saying this makes no sense and i hate what they're doing and and and#maybe you could try listening to other people's interpretations of things and you'll find that what the show is trying to tell you becomes#more clear! would you look at that. wild how that happens#like im sorry you're entitled to your opinions but calling things bad writing just because you don't quite get it or it doesn't resonate#with you personally... i don't think you should just say this was shitty and worthless#the examples im using are because both resonate with me btw. 73 yards was existential horror it was hill house and bly manor#(im going to write about this in another post btw bc it compels me so)#it was about the way fear of abandonment can haunt you how mental illness can haunt you how you feel like you can drive people away#just by being yourself (the Woman was Herself what caused ruby to be abandoned was Her it's about her feeling as though she was the cause#of everyone who left her even as a baby even the people who loved her most could decide to not love her at the drop of a hat)#colin bridgerton is masking and faking a personality because it has been proven that time and time again#being Himself is Wrong that he annoys people he makes himself into what people expect of him because he's tired of being abandoned too#his family ignores and does not reply to his letters this season PEN stopped replying to his letters#his brother was cruel to him for being a romantic his friends LAUGHED AT HIM for saying sex is meaningful to him and don't they feel lonely#his Fake Rake persona makes viewers cringe because! its!! fake!!! he's faking it! HE GETS CALLED OUT ON IT TWICE IN EP ONE#if you don't understand he's faking it then that's on you at that point! i don't know! maybe take a minute to sit in the discomfort and ask#why did this show make me react this way and do you think maybe it was on purpose#''73 yards was confusing'' do you think confusion may be one of the ways ruby feels about her abandonment?#there is a theme in all of her episodes so far is it ''badly written'' unclear to you or do you just refuse to think critically about it#txtly#and im sorry for tagging this its just for my blog i kinda wish they still didnt show up in tags if i tag them all the way at the bottom#[old lady ruby voice] ''i used to be able to tag things just for myself once upon a time''#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#doctor who#doctor who spoilers
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All I've seen on the left this election has been a loop of
"I'm not voting Harris cause she's pro-genocide"
"But then you're letting Trump into power! It'll be on you when trans kids die!"
and
"I'm voting Harris cause I don't want Hitler Jr in charge again"
"So Palestine doesn't matter to you? Someone finally showed their true colors!"
I feel like we're saying the same things here. Some coordination would be nice, people.
#seriously I've seen so many “so Palestine doesn't matter to you” comments under like mattxiv posts even though he talks about it often#and then there's the blaming pocs and queer folks like “you're letting your greedy want for rights get in the way of true justice”#and not to mention the antisemitism that's come from a lot of folks#but then on the other side there's more blaming pocs/queers with the “it will be your fault when your rights are stripped away”#and there's the folks that act like voting stein is gonna “destroy the electoral college and free us of the 2 party system”#like sweetie what world are you living in where it's that simple#personally as a punk i agree with sticking to your guns and i also believe there are more than one fucking cause to fight for#like i voted for Harris but I'm not pro genocide. only one of those two is gonna be president and id prefer the one we can actually#put pressure on. like push comes to shove kamala is a Democrat and a coward. she's gonna do whatever to get votes which means we can push#no tags this is a personal rant#I'm so tired of seeing people scream “FUCK THE SYSTEM” and completely misunderstand what fucking the system actually entails#like punk isn't just doing the opposite of what you're told. it's taking care of people. which means not being racist towards people who dis#disagree. like im not a Boomer whos all “back in my day we could be friends despite our differences”#but i think we're so busy attacking each other the literal Nazis become a secondary thought to our hatred towards other people with the sa#same goal. we're all trying to save lives. lives republicans are trying to destroy. lets get our heads out of our asses for five minutes#accidenti
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Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
#diary#god I could rant about about this forever#tw mentions of assault in the tags dont read if that makes u uncomfortable#im kinda getting tired of people asking why i dont date 🤩 it sends me into a mental spiral hahahaaaaa#i just tell people im not looking for anything serious rn but its a big fat fucking lie because i DO want to date#but i think my nervous system is so shot from living with my dad still and he can be so emotionally abusive it's insane#it makes me not trust my judgement because shitty behavior is so normalized and i KNOW whats Right and Wrong but im so used to keeping the–#–peace because its a survival tactic for me and always has been#like when people like me i think one of two things usually:#1) they're genuinely interested in me and i hate myself so much i cant understand why anyone would like me#or 2) theyre interested in me for my body which is both easier to understand and terrifying because people in the past have hurt me because–#–they wanted to be with me. read between the lines for that one#because of how i grew up and what I've experienced i genuinely do not trust people. i trust no one fully and it kills me#i feel so fucking guilty all the time bc most people arent out to get you but that wasn't the case for me#i feel like i cant grow as a person because im stuck in a survival mindset. i KNOW why I people please and i hate it#i genuinely do love people and i want the best for them but its also ingrained into my head that if something is wrong it's My Fault#and there will be Consequences#back to dating though#there are so many reasons I do and dont want to date#i call myself a Helpless Romantic because there's no way I'll be dating in the near future. i cant just go on dates I have to know you for–#–a while and build trust. but what if it ends badly and im the idiot who cant take a goddamn hint and realise love isnt meant for someone–#–like me?#i grew up knowing my parents hated each other and “stayed together for the kids” whatever thet means. like that fucks with your mind#seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad made me snap out of the disney movie princess x prince charming daze everyone else was in as a kid#i realised very early on that relationships won't save you and can actually be the worst thing to ever happen to someone#theres more to this but ive already said enough lol. anyway
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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we should just start dropping whole pianos on people who think that noone should go on medications that didnt help them specifically. flatten those fucks like mario kart. roll their flattened forms and smoke them like joints
#meds alter the fuckin chemicals within your body hombre!!!!#your internal chemical bullshit is Different to Everybody Else!!!#Youre not a prophet of others experiences#just because lexapro or something ripped your cock off and beat you w/ it doesnt mean itll do that shit to everybody#also were dropping smaller pianos on people who say you shouldn't seek any therapy and “focus on self betterment”#because i took that advice and disassociated so fuckin hard i had no idea what was happening 24/7#my ass stayed locked in my room for like a month barely even thinking staring at my ceiling hoping my fuckin neurons would stop firing#but now even seeking therapy has that same little scrambled cluster of neurons firing like a fuckin ship under siege#the shits in your brain are neurons right. i hope cause im not re-typing this shit. fuck that.#have a good day smoke all the crack u want#okay im done talking about my mental health from like 3 years back now.#im so fuckin tired ouuygghh#goodniiiighhhhtttt#but yeah i got people i care about and can discuss mental health shit with. and services i can go check if my shit gets bad again#love you bbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee oookkaayyy byyeeeeeeee love uu love uuuuuu
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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Every time the topic of Vegetta and marriage comes up I am forced to see misinformation or even flat out lies about Vegetta's past wedding experience and his relationship with Rubius and I just
#i talk#qsmp talk#IM TIREDDDDDDDDDDDD#For the love of god can you talk about this subject without doing the worst character analysis I've ever seen#Was his past wedding experience bad? yes#Does that somehow mean Rubius was abusive and they hate each other? NO#People don't need to villainize Rubius just to justify their ship dear GOD#I really don't care about fandom opinions usually but this one drives me up the frickin wall#Listen man I love Rubius and Vegetta to death and seeing people purposefully misinterpret them#and their past relationship for the sake of a ship#is just so exhausting#I don't care about people talking about the potential for marriage or how disastrous the last ones were#it's SOLELY when the interpretations are based on second or third hand information#or the intentionally is intentionally made in bad-faith#that I get :///#A few Spanish mutuals on Twitter wrote some very long threads with helpful information detailing events from past weddings#because they were also tired of people not knowing the details#and they got SO much hate for it from people who were specifically spreading the bad information to new fans#Like. why is a block game ship a hill you're willing to die on#It's so silly when you take a step back and think about it but also I'm so tired
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