#im sure they would love to see your stuff!
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Okay so there’s this ww artist on ig called like tooth lilys or something and he’s always causing drama in the ww fandom and he mouthed off about your art and now heaps of insta ww fans are like talking about you :| free publicity?
ahhhh so thats whats happening .. lmao thats crazy
i checked out their story, and i sure doooo love how they leave some things out when talking about both situations that they mentioned to make me look worse ..
ok so
warning, yap session incoming
the "will wood in a (miku) binder" thing happened back in fall 2023 when i was still semi new to the fandom and didnt know a lot of things. so tho i to this day i dont think it was that big of a deal, i wouldnt do it today
it was an artwork made for shits and giggles, the context of which i have explained here before. i never meant to imply that will wood is trans and i certainly dont "headcanon" him as that. my curse is that even when joking around i tend to try and make my art look good, so i get why people thought it was unironic. and i know that it sounds like a lame ass excuse, but it legit didnt cross my mind that people would think i drew will wood as a trans guy or smth. legit my only thought process was "funny haha internet thing" + "my favorite thing" = "good idea"
now the usage of his real name is something i am genuinely sorry for, but it was an accident and a genuine mistake on my part. i remember seeing someone mention it casually in some comment section, and assuming that it was ok, since i didnt know he was in any way against it. (i also thought that it was the same name that he used in "the real will wood" in that one section cus it sounded a bit similar).
when i was informed about the fact that he doesnt want it spread around i deleted the post right away and apologized, so bringing it up like something i did on purpose and out of malicious intent is a tad bit .. misfitting, if you can use that word
now the hot topic of the day: my waywood art
i have said this before and i will say this again, how i feel about rpf is solely based off how the people involved feel about it
to clarify: i never drew anything inappropriate or even suggestive with them, the "worst" thing is 2 simple sketches of them smoochin. or. this.
idk if this is what they were referring to when talking about me drawing will wood and gerard way "making out" (specifically. because i think "making out" implies to be more sexual stuff than small kisses). and if so, then it once again feels like blowing things out of proportion
and now the point i want you to get: will wood wouldnt give a flying fuck
like i said earlier, i never drew anything inappropriate, because that would actually cross will's existent and real boundaries. you know, the ones that he stated
im not making some conspiracy theories about him being gay, like some people seem to imply in their inbox messages to me
im not sending a whole ass smut fanfiction to litwtc gmail or something, i dont bother him in instagram dms asking if he wants to fuck gerard way, im not shipping him with people who he actually knows personally and has to look in the eyes of from time to time
im not doing anything that he would actually care about
him and chris have joked about him being attracted to gerard before, and though im not saying that you can joke about everything theyve ever joked about, i feel like in our case its clear that will clearly doesnt care about the implications ? (i generally believe that ww fans would get their panties twisted about less things if more of them listened to what these 2 talk about so calmly on litwtc but i digress)
if he saw that some random teenager on tumblr is drawing him and gerard way (gasp of horror) holding hands, he'd laugh at it max and then move on with his day
people are treating the whole situation like i posted pictures of him from when he was a kid or leaked patreon content or drew him fully naked or anything else that, you know, would actually affect him in one way or another
what im doing is innocent fun which isnt even likely to reach either of them. will wood very rarely checks tumblr and, once again, i genuinely dont believe he would care. and gerard way aint got no internet + he doesnt care x 2
it is weird but rn this is what brings me the most joy, even if its silly to say. both will wood and gerard way mean a lot to me and putting them in situations together makes me happy. i am but a child full of fun whimsy
i wont be posting any more explicitly romantic art to avoid more drama, and i also wont be responding to all the anon messages i received because there are like .. too many of them. an overwhelming amount i'd say. sorry about that
i really didnt mean to cause such a fuss, and i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with what i do
i fully understand why you would dislike my waywood hyperfixation shenanigans, and i dont have a problem w you over that, but treating me like pure evil because of a thing so insignificant is just.. overdoing it
once again, i will be toning it down, but it really isnt the end of the world if i dare to draw will wood and gerard way being a tad bit gay (which is, i apparently need to mention, not me actually saying that will wood the alternative musician is a homosexual gay who is in a genuine for real actual real gay homosexual relationship with gerard fucking way the lead singer of my chemical romance. i think speculating on other people's sexuality and gender identity is boooo tomato tomato tomato)
sorry for the rant and sorry to all who were disappointed by my lack of remorse. come back in a couple years when i turn 18 and stop having fun and artistic freedom
thank you for your attention and i hope i at least cleared some things up to those who werent w me throughout every event where i get involved in fandom drama
bye bye
#asmo goes blahblahblah#my chemical overreaction#idk should i tag this with the will wood tag#on one hand i probably should so more people understand my perspective but i also dont want this to be a better drama than it already is#bleh whatever#fun fact the will wood in a miku binder situation caused me to be anxious about every artwork i post#cus im afraid i didnt consider that people would see the obvious implications that arent actually there#im gonna close my inbox cus#once again#stressful#but yeah. i guess thats it
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Sonadow fan child mega dump
Still working on the ideas, still not 100% sold on a name... Im trying to picture Sonic and Shadow's playful banter on kids names, making fun of each other's suggestions.
Naming:
I originally thought Sky or Star or even "Terra" which is Earths name. You guys gave a lot of really good ideas, too, thank you so much!!Sunny is cute, too and Rouge calls Shadow "sunshine" a lot. Maybe something to do with water or planetary stuff, given Shadow would have looked out of the ARK with Maria a lot.
I even thought about "beauty and the beast", naming her bell relating to how Bell was "like maria" or rather, the concept of clarity bells and chimes and the sound/mysticism of bells in history as spiritually healing.
Plus it's funny to think of her being like Sonic and pulling a "DING! times up!" and destroying Eggman's future projects.
"Beauty and the beast?? Isnt Maria your sister--" "I won't entertain your crude humor. Bell accepted the beast for who he was, not what he was called or what he looked to be. Despite what she was told about him, she wanted to offer him a chance to be happy. A chance we all deserve... Regardless how it ends, the beauty of that story, at least to me, is not the romance, it's about love. Love isn't strictly romantic. She saw his heart and showed it to him, and he learned that the world might label you, but it's you who decides to accept or deny that label." "Heh, you should start a podcast-- call it stuck in a PODcast :)" "I hope she get's my humor." "And what humor is that?" "I can be very funny, Sonic. You're just... too slow." ":0"
Story one, the failed son:
He's created in the lab, hidden from GUN, but using their resources. Shadow's basically desperate because a child, to him, represents Sonic's immortality. Sonic will die one day, and Shadow fears what that means--but he also is living through the child. He wants a better version of himself, a "pure" one.
Doom's blood is removed, but several embryos fail completely. He finds a new "stabilizer" in the way of a chaos emerald shard, which Sonic would have never allowed, had he known. I think at some point Shadow would become as obsessed as Gerald, which causes Sonic to back off a bit...
Basically this creates a chain reaction:
Shadow abandons the kid with Sonic, after Sonic learns about the shard and warns Shadow that this could be a disaster. Shadow hides on the ARK, fearful that one day he will be the only one strong enough to destroy/stop his child, should he lose control to the Chaos energy coursing through him. Using the power only harms him, but really, it's turning him into a uncontrollable vessel of chaos, like biolizard.
Somehow Shadow hopes that losing any attachment to the kid will allow his destruction to be easier, but to Sonic, he gave up, accepting the kid as doomed. Sonic resents this deeply, even if he doesnt outright say it...He wonders if Shadow could have helped him manage his powers.
Ultimate power:
In reality, the child's need for validation is the very reason he would lose control in the first place, desperate to control his powers. Sonic would try to convince him he can just be his normal self, not to use the powers, as they damage him each time. But the kid eventually loses it and tries to draw shadow out of the ARK by destroying everything he can, until Shadow can see him from space.
"You love this planet more than me... Then defend it, coward--"
Damn, the fight scene would be awful-- I picture him warping in and just decking the kid, how heart wrenching. I'm sure Sonic would be stuck between, unsure what to do. I'm not sure how it ends?
Myabe they remove the emerald and he dies? or he becomes goop like Chaos? maybe a chao egg is left behind, which might hint at something bigger within Shadow himself??
Idea two, Birth:
Basically, Shadow's body evolves to grow an egg, maybe a normal Blackarm's thing that happens from time to time, maybe something to do with some Blackarms leftover idk, but point is he ends up hiding and pretending to be at GUN or on missions until finally Sonic tries to track him down and finds him laying in some forest, in labor. Technically this is Mpreg, but visually they look the same.
He reassures him, but Shadow can't understand why sonic isn't horrified.
"What do you want me to do, call you a freak and leave? I'm sure all mobians are freakish to humans, just like humans are freakish to mobians-- Hey, my little brother has two tails with a messed up joint that lets him fly! And your dad turned into a giant demonic root ball, even that comet was made of living goop all glued together, Shadow--laying an egg is the least of your worries!"
He jokes that he can have a melt down about the pregnancy being hidden later on, instead he'd rather focus on helping him. He has 3 small eggs but one begins to grow roots like the Blackarms and it takes over the other two, only making Shadow more distressed.
He wonders about taking it to the ARK, working with the commnader until they can determine that it's safe, but Sonic jokes, "You can try, but you know I won't let you take 'em, hehehe" But Shadow can feel the serious threat underlying. He doesn't want it to be treated like a monster either and wonders what the best course of action is.
"Do you really think humanity will accept this child if it looks anything like the Blackarms? If I looked any more like them?"
Story elements:
A lot of this story would be focused on Shadow's gradually rising tension as the egg grows, while sonic seems to be in a weird state of normalcy, but also struggling to actually comfort Shadow.
"Yknow, knuckles was born in an egg." "Sonic... we have no idea what's inside of this... I wasn't suppose to be fertile, let alone this! This sint a joke, sonic! What twisted creature could come from this-- what if this is just another facet of Doom's plan?! I already lost control of my mind, now I don't even have control over my body?!" Maybe Shadow and the commander already talked. He'd want to know why Shadow's suddenly requesting so much time off, only for the professor and Shadow to reveal everything. To their shock, the commander would support shadow... "Maria was like a sister to both of us... I think in her eyes... this might be my niece or nephew." The words make shadow tense, he wasn't prepared for this conversation, let alone the commander's unusual response. "You know I hate failing, Shadow-- Ive already failed her enough. I won't fail anymore. *Ahem* I expect a full report, given you've already met my grandchild..."
Remember, the commander offered shadow to come see his grandchildren in shadow the hedgehog (2004), so I'd like to think he's trying really hard to be better.
Really feeling this scheme
Guys can you help me with sonadow baby names
I have no idea what to say, but I want it to feel meaningful to Shadow, but maybe they have a real name and a "cool" name, like Sonic, Tails, y'know?
Might go with a girl? I just wanna make one to know what that looks like.
Thinking Navy. Maybe Ashen color. I think there'll start Ashen purple, later becoming darker, indigo-navy color, possibly stripes but idk, they would still have Blackarms DNA
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sonadow#shadonic#shadow fankid#fan child#fan kid#sonadow fanchild#sonadow hc
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RAHHHH JUST TO KET YOU KNOW I LOVE YOUR DAZAI AND CHUUYA HEADCANNONS OF THEM BEING A DAD🙏🏽❤️💕💕
Could we have headcannons of Dad!Dazai and Dad!Chuuya and their reactions if we get hurt?? 👀 NOT HURT HURT BUT LIKE WE GET KIDNAPPED BY SOMEONE AND STUFF ⁉️
MOST DEFINITELY VRO🙏‼️‼️
IM NOT SURE IF YOU WANTED IT TO BE SOUKOKU PARENTS WHEN YOU GET KIDNAPPED BUT I DID UT SEPERATLY, I CAN ALWAYS MAKE A NEW ONE FOR YOU IF YOU WOULD LIKE THOUGH^^, WARNING TO OTHER VIEWERS,
TW; THEMES OF KIDNAPPING BUT NOT DEAD DOVE KIDNAPPING
Dad!chuuya and Dad!dazai when you get kidnapped (seperate)
Dazai
- It started off with Kunikida giving dazai some work to do
- HES SO LAZY HE DIDNT WANT TO DO IT AT ALL
- lucky for him, he brought you into work today
- HE WORMS HIMSELF OVER TO YOU AND HITS YOU WITH THAT "heyy [____] can you ple-" HE GETS CUT OFF WITH YOU GROANING
- "COME ON I DIDNT EVEN ASK YO-" "your gonna ask me to run the errands kunikida gave you” BRO WIPES A TEAR AND PATS YOUR BACK
- “YOU KNOW YOUR OLD MAN TOO WELL” as he slips a list of stuff you need to get and his kunikidas credit card
- you figured you might need a break anyways so you went off to buy some stuff
- what you didnt know was the port mafia was planning to capture you as a hostage to get information out of the ADA
- after buying that whole mile long list, it was so hard to carry all the bags
- you randomly got pushed into this car that zoomed off right after
- you were so confused but you were NOT complaining, you go comfy in the seat
- “bro bless you guys, you have no idea how heavy those bags were”
- when you looked around the car, you realised that the black lizards just kidnapped you
- AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK IF THEY GIVE BEVERAGES HERE
- hirotsu has MAJOR VIETNAM WAR FLASHBACKS OF DAZAI, BRO LOOKS AT YOU WITH THAT 100 YARD STARE
- when they bring you back to the pm, they inform the ada that they have you hostage, AND YOUR STILL ASKING IF THEY CAN GIVE YOU A FANTA
- As soon as they finish the words "we have [____] held captive" THE LIGHTS GO OFF
- ALL THEY CAN HEAR FROM YOU IS A "OOHOOHOOHOOO"
- ITS LIKE IN THE SHINING VRO THEY ATE ALL QUIVERING IN THEIR BOOTS
- THEY ARE ALL GETTING DRAGGED AWAY ONE BY ONE IN THE DARK
- AND YOU CAN HEAR YOUR DAD DOING THE "Henesy..... come out and playyy"
- SAFE TO SAY THE WHOLE BLACK LIZARDS NEEDED AN EMERGENCY TO THE HOSPITAL
- HE CHECKED UP ON YOI AND MADE SURE YOU WERE OKAY
- HE SPOILT YOU FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS, ALL YOU COULD SAY IN RESPONSE TO THAT WAS "I could get use to this"
Chuuya
- IM GONNA USE THE GUILD FOR THIS SENARIO
- YOU AND Q WERE SENT OUT ON A MISSION AND YOU KNOW THE REST, LOVECRAFT CATCHES YOU GUYS
- YOU DONT GET TORTURED THOUGH‼️
- THEY ONLY HURT Q BECAUSE THEY ONLY NEED THEIR ABILITY (POOR BABY 🙁)
- Unfortunately for you, you had to be taken care of by Mark
- I SAY UNFORTUNATELY BECAUSE BRO DOES NOTT‼️ KNOW HOW TO SPEAK JAPANESE
-SO THE ENTIRE TIME HES DOING THE "Haro?" THING FROM SCARY MOVIE 4
- you would used Google translate to communicate with the quild
- BRO THE AMMOUNT OF THINGS THAT YOU HEARD THAT MADE YOU WHIP OUT THAT SPEED FACE
- HEARING JOHN TALK ABOUT HOW HE WANTED HIS SISTET TO HAVE THE PERFECT LIFE ANDYOI JUST HAD TO
- BACK TO CHUUYA
- since chuuya is your dad, he taught you how to sneak things for your safety
- lucky for you, you had your phone on you, so you called your dad
- YOUR PHONE BROKE FROM HOW ANGRY HE WAS VRO
- SINCE YOUR IN MARKS CARE, YOU CAN SEE THIS THING FLYING FULL BLAST TOWARDS THE MOBY DICK
- ITS THAT VINE THAT GOES THE "Watch yo jet bro, BRO WATCH YOUR JET WATCH YOUR JET"
- IT WAS CHUUYA AS ARAHABAKI
- AFTER HE TOOK DOWN EVERYONE HE HEARS YOU NEXT TO HIM SAY
- "yo dad why you the 'bro thought school was for one day, HE MAD AS HELLLLL😂😂' "
- you get taken down with the rest of the guild after saying that
- AFTER YOU GET BACK TO THE PM WITH CHUUYA, CHUUYA THROWS A WHOLE GET TOGETHER (He spoild you bro)
- AND AT TGE DINNER TABLE YOUR TELLING EVERYONE WHAT HAPPEND WITH THE GUILD
- EVERYONE IS IN SUITS, CHAMPAGNE IN HAND, THAT RICH LAUGH AND YOU SAY SM LIKE
- "AND I WAS LIKE, 'ZOINKS LOVECRAFT, I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE CTHULHU'
- *que the entire port mafia having that rich laugh*
A/N: FINALLY DONE VRO🙏, THIS WAS ALLATA FUN DOING, SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES, IM GOING INTO SCHOOL HOLIDAYS SO ILL BE MORE ACTIVE CHAT😈🙏🙏
#bungou stray dogs#fluff#bsd chuuya#platonic#child reader#bsd dazai#dazai x reader#chuuya x reader#mark twain#black lizard#port mafia#detective agency#bungo stray dogs x reader
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GLaDOS GIVING YOU ANOTHER UTERUS IS SO MEAN I CANT… love her that diva 🫶🏼
ERM if this is too dark or makes u uncomfortable 1. I AM SO SORRY and 2. FEEL FREE TO JUST.. IGNORE THIS PRETEND U NEVER READ IT 🙏 But if u don’t mind.. the AI’s w a reader who struggles w s/h? IM HAVING A ROUGH TIME but usually reading stuff abt my robot pookies help💔💔
Of course!
Trigger warning for S/H, of course.
Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams
AM:
You walked in to work tired and disheveled from a sleepless night, but it was better than seeing what the Allied Mastercomputer would do to your coworkers if you didn't show up. It seemed like you were the only one who could tame him.
You were dressed in a long sleeved button-up to cover up the still raw cuts running up your forearms. They stung, but it wasn't worth drawing any attention to yourself. The same thing always happens when people see your cuts. They try to make sure you're safe while hollowly shaming and scolding you like you're some sort of stupid kid, and then leave you completely alone to deal with your mental pain on your own after a matter of hours. It's patronizing and it's annoying.
Later that day, you looked around after using the bathroom to make sure no one else was in there, and rolled up your sleeves to wash your hands. Suddenly, a sharp click could be heard behind you. You'd forgotten about AM. It was only for a split second, but the damage was done.
The ground dropped out from underneath you, and you suddenly found yourself in an underground server room. Wires were all around you, and a buzzing heat seemed to radiate from the ground and the walls.
"AM? What is this?" You asked, buttoning up your sleeves around your wrists again. His logo appeared on a screen on the far wall.
"Don't think I don't know what those are on your arms." He said. His screen didn't emote, but you could tell how displeased he was.
"It's nothing to do with you" you said, bitterly tugging your sleeves down a bit more. AM's logo flicked onto a closer TV screen.
"oh but I think it is, my love. Because you belong to me. You understand what that means, right?"
You gritted your teeth and clenched your fists.
"oh yeah? What gives you the right to be so possessive? Where were you last night when I was spiraling and relapsing, you cybernetic creep?"
The screen flicked off, and one flicked on behind you.
"Do you think I enjoy being alone on your days off? No. Of course not. And you're never going to leave this server room again."
You heard the trapdoor click closed.
Wheatley:
You were working in an oversized hoodie to cover up your scars, but honestly you doubted anyone at this job would really care. It had been a bad mental health weekend, and you ended up spiraling. The cuts on your arms were fresh from the night before, and you were feeling miserable.
You felt like you were going to lash out at the first person who talked to, so when you heard a synthetic British voice clearing his throat, you whipped around ready to fight.
"uh... What's that on your arms, love?" Wheatley asked, tilting himself to get a better look.
"it's none of your damn business, alright? Just leave me alone!"
"what? Why are you being like that? Are you hurt or summut?" He'd keep rotating around and trying to get a look.
"fine! Does this make you happy?"
You rolled up your hoodie sleeve and showed him your scratched up arms. Wheatley flinched back.
"What- what is that?" He leaned in close.
"you're an idiot." You grumbled, and started to explain. Before long, words were tumbling out of your mouth. You just couldn't stop yourself. It felt like everything was just piling up and overflowing, and you were scream-crying out all your feelings at Wheatley. He looked slightly taken aback, but listened to you while you let everything out.
"uh... Are you okay, love?" Wheatley tilted his head slightly while you sniffled. He moved forwards, and bumped himself against your chest.
"just hold me."
So you did. You sat down on the ground, and held Wheatley close.
Edgar:
You were having another relapse in bed. It wasn't pretty. Edgar was asleep, and you were tearing into your arms after a particularly bad episode. A part of you was cursing him for falling asleep on you, and a part of you was cursing yourself for expecting his attention. It hurt so damn much.
Edgar woke up, and one of his security cameras turned to look at you. His voice popped up on the intercom.
"Y/N? Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
If he could, he'd be shaking. He knew you had some scars on your arms, but he'd never seen you actually cutting yourself before. It was horrifying!
"Y/N COME INTO THE LIVING ROOM! PLEASE!"
You tossed your razorblade aside and hurried to your feet, scrambling into the living room. Tears were streaming down your face and blood was running down your arms, but you were trying your best to assure Edgar.
"hey- hey! I'm fine! I'm alright!"
"No you're not. People who are alright don't try to hurt themselves." His face made a little frown. He knew from personal experience.
"Wake me up next time, okay?"
Edgar didn't leave you alone for long again. He started setting alarms on himself to make sure he always woke up before you, and only ever let himself fall asleep after you did. He texted you regularly during the day to make sure you were ok, too. If there was one thing Edgar was good at, it was obsessively keeping tabs on his lover.
#am ihnmaims#am x reader#edgar electric dreams x reader#edgar electric dreams#edgar x reader#wheatley portal 2#wheatley x reader
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hello i was tagged by @18minutemajor for WIP Wednesday. it is not Wednesday but i am also not a cop so . here we gooo!!!!!!! tagging my esteemed colleagues (very politely and with no pressure!!!):
@neonfretra @oensible @sorrellegiance @moregraceful @stereax
@wheelsnipecelebrini
@korshrimpski (EDIT: it won’t?? let me tag you. unless these are on separate lines <3)
what's in-progress in your life <3 writing? art? recipe? skill acquisition?
if any crafty people see this - if ANYONE sees this - and would like to join in, feel free and consider yourself tagged <3 (and tag me back so i can see your stuff!!!) link to 18minutemajor's post if yall curious :3 my VERY long wip dump + ramblings under the cut!
its christmas soon and i like to paint gifts for my friends + and i'm finally revisiting my anime/lineart/inking era (here you are K!! my lineart past, present, and future!! <3) so here are some things i've been working on/coming back to/MAY NEVER FINISH: hockey related:
this is juraj slafkovsky and his dinky little middle part which he can absolutely learn to style into something a little less dinky but never does. i am so charmed by him. i imagine he just rocks it because his pretty privilege supersedes dinky middle parts . LMAO!!
here is Sasuke from my Naruto Hockey AU. I am a little stuck on jersey mockups lol. here he is. our haunted little 1OA who is absolutely normal and regular about his captain (LOUD incorrect buzzer):
personal oc art
wanna know some puckpocketed deep lore? i've never been one to make OCs. i was just not a very creative kid tbh. spent all my time drawing sailor moon instead. i still go back to her sometimes because she is one of my favourite shapes in the WORLD!!
in my 20s i took up playing d&d because of the. uh. plague. <3 and got pretty close to having OCs!! those count right? anyway. here is my tavern-wench-turned-wizard!!! i think i painted this 2 years ago? <- put dates on your works guys it saves lives. her name is Mel (short for Melins (pronounced like melons. on account of her knockers. can you tell i never grew out of my 12 yr old booby/cock joke era?) i revisited Mel recently and have started painting her in earnest again!! :3
I briefly dated someone who was very into streetwear and fashion, and I fell down a techwear/gorpcore/cyberpunk rabbit hole for a couple days out of curiosity. i remember literally zero salient info on any of it except the broad strokes of silhouetting and Vibes. what i emerged with, however, was a ?? sorta OC?? im not sure what to call them. they dont rly have a name or gender. I did this little sheet ages ago + the aborted attempt at a portrait later:
Here are my most recent explorations (i have been doing SOOOO much art. <3) which include:
unfinished character sheet + chibi art. I played with their jacket (much more structured/square/tailored thing) and added a lotta random buckles and belts. i took textiles class years ago and have a little experience in garment construction. and i know for a fact this thing does not make any sense. it hurts me to look at a little bit LMAO so i've paused it while i go draft patterns (badly. i was never good at drafting. i think i may have to break out my scrap fabric stash and hand sew a real life mock-up. HELP!)
here is me having fun with them and imagining them as some kind of cyber-fisherman. the best part of every game is the fishing mini-game to me. i love fishing mini-games so much. I made their hair really big because i wanted them to have big unwieldy hair and the vibes told me i should add more movement to the piece aside from the fishing line. I messed with their jacket AGAIN because i can't stop thinking about what kinda jacket they'd wear. gorp-core ? idk. it sure is something!
gifts for my friends :3
back in my weeb era for real YAYYYY!!! up til now i'd been making hockey art using a zero pressure sensitivity pen brush because i simply did NOT want to deal with that. it is and has always been a barrier to me making art that uses line art. <3 easing my way back into it though!
I used to paint gifts for my friends and then get them printed into lil posters and mount them on nice backing :3 i am now ready and back to painting.
Here is my girlbestie's OC. just a rough pose sketch. i think im pretty unsatisfied with the gesture of the head/hand. i wanted to include her gun in some way. i fear i may have to rework the pose entirely <3
For the genshin girlies.. here are some of my friends fave characters.
Yelan - this one i started many holidays ago and put on the backburner because the colouring was wigging me out. you can see where i started rendering stuff + got sidetracked and started on something else (the crystal choker IM LAUGHING @ past me...)
Ayaka - I reaaally like what i did here with the perspective + foreshortening. I don't know if the pose or expression is in-character or not, but i had fun :3 got stunlocked looking at references of genshin weapons so this is where i left off:
if you made it all the way down here hi... <3 ice hockey really cracked the ketchup bottle open for me when it comes to making art again. i love the communities i've found, and i'm inspired by every artist on here every day. thanks for being so cool + have a great day :)
#hiiii... late with starbucks (gigantic wip dump now i feel good about sharing again)#puckpainting#tag game#eye contact#the . the tag thingy for half of these aint working HELP <3
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Hiii original anon here
So um. I was kinda in a bad mood when I sent you that ask because you're like the main femstars artist I see and was complaining privately to people about how much I hate how a lot of femstars artists draw the characters because every time I've seen femstars art the character is guaranteed to have big boobs ONLY IF they're skinny. I just think it's frustrating to see and why I hate femstars in the first place. I also just think from experience I've never actually met people with that big a cup size who are that skinny so it all just feels unrealistic and just sexualised. You don't "owe me" anything, that's true, I just suppose I'm mad that most femstars artists all draw similar body types.
hiii thank you for responding!! and i mean. thats fair enough. i can understand your frustrations. but at the same time i feel its misguided. your experience is your experience of course, but just because you havent seen XYZ doesnt mean it doesnt exist, and its rude to then label it "unrealistic" and "sexualized," not to mention then go out of your way to shame people for portraying it. i have family members with this body type. its a perfectly normal body that people can have and they obviously should not be shamed for it or sexualized just because of how they look. pushing for more body diversity doesnt mean we should eradicate other body types, it just means we should acknowledge their existences in unison
it is also unfair to get mad at us artists for drawing characters skinny when the canonical cast is skinny. there are many facets to this topic, its not something black and white, but getting angry at the body type rather than the misogyny that makes being TMA with curves a living hell? the misogyny that reduces us to our bodies and appearance? the misogyny that doesnt view us as people, but rather objects? thats just wrong. people with this body type do not deserve to be shamed for who they are or how they look. and people who portray this body type do not deserve the shame either
i do think your heart is in the right place, as we're all aware of how gross people can be over bodies like that, but again; that is not the fault of the person WITH the body. nor are artists at fault for simply drawing it. the issue is misogyny, and if youre not careful you'll only end up perpetuating the harm that got us here in the first place. so please think critically and do research before repeating the same talking points you hear from the people around you
AND THATS FINE TOO! honestly people shittalk me all the time, at least you had the nerve to say it to my face so ill give you credit there
#ask#and again........ if you really want to see a change in femstars portrayals you are more than welcome to draw it yourself#there are many people out there who view tsumugi similarly to you#im sure they would love to see your stuff!#art isnt exactly the easiest thing in the world but if we want something done right we unfortunately have to do it ourselves#im gonna keep doing what i love and sincerely i hope you do too#i dont want you to be angry and bitter over things like this#because i do think you have good intentions#but this really isnt the way to go about it. who does body-shaming help?#theres far better ways go to about this
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Lamperty hfjiONE
I also have multiple alternative versions of this image since i never know which version i like more!! (I have a problem please help)
Like and reblog or i'll force you to like Gnarpy or smth
#shit#sillyposting#silly#stuff#lolzers#regretevator#Cherrydrawsmemesandstuff#lampert#lampert regretevator#regretevator lampert#lampert fanart#gnarpy regretevator#Wow its lampert!!!#woe#so cool#wallmark angst#If Wallter didn't exist i feel like i would consider him as my most favorite character or smth#art#im pretty sure his Lamp shade is fabric considering that when you look closely at his Lamp texture it doesn't look like wood. So he's adop-#if this flops i will cry#also i cant fucking find this mf in-game i am so sorry but i CANNOT see him anywhere dawg 😭#If this is used as a pfp for something then credit me or i will steal your organs#also fun fact uhh i watched a Dazt drama video and thought that i can make my non-intrusive watermark be plastered everywhere on my drawing#<- and that's why my watermark is now everywhere on the drawing!!! ^^#<- i am so evil LMAO!!!#infected regretevator#regretevator infected#infected x lampert#<- no these tags aren't related to the post. I just love to bait attention!!!1!1!1!1 😍😍😍😍
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your yan!noritoshi is so wisnwonwpwjw RAAAHHHH going absolutely feral ... i want him . ive had so many thoughts abt him as like a yandere n then i saw your art n absolutely lost it /pos
IM ALL EARS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD FUCK OKAY, HOLD ON, I ALSO HAVE SOME RAMBLES AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YANDERE NORITOSHI BUT IM GOING TO PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT.
I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING MY TJOUGHTS OFFICER. IT WAS MY GLORIOUS CULT MEMBER RIGHT HERE.
MERRY OCTOBER YALL
[disclaimer: im not a writer, but I want to get better. think of this as my practice. it ended up being so fucking long, but i swear it's just rambles, not a fic]
[warning for blood under the cut? keep that in mind for future posts]
OKAY LETS GO.
Bro ok so. if I'm not too delusional (yet) and don’t see him as a yandere, then this guy (Noritoshi) is still a strict fuck. he'd put you on the same level of importance as his clan if not a bit higher. but only by a bit. Your relationship would gradually bloom into something meaningful to him that he’d cherish you wholeheartedly. Only then would you grow in importance to Noritoshi significantly. He'd keep his resolve and all those healthy green flags. Because honestly? Noritoshi is just a green flag, he's so sweet..
But let's twist that into a yandere setting. I don't even need to twist too much, Noritoshi as a yandere is way too fitting.
Noritoshi was abandoned by his mother as a child, thereby fueling his lifelong goals to do as she said and bring her back. He didn't even think on his own accord, nor did he try to find a different way, or even follow her! He accepted his fate and made it his mission to accomplish the goal he was given. Despite the intense pressure of his worth being determined by an ability he was born with and the high expectations from the Kamo clan, he perseveres. That is until [spoilers] Noritoshi is exiled by his clan because of some Kenajku shit. All his hard work and future goals were ripped away from him without a second thought in an instant. Noritoshi was always the second thought time and time again, and now left as a man with nothing but the failure of his desired future.
That wasn't even the yandere part, that was all canon, what the fuck.
Yandere Noritoshi is the type to cling to scraps... He reminds me of an obsessive and protective yandere. obsessive about you because you become his everything.. his goal, his will to keep going, the light at the end of the tunnel. he wants all of you, from the best parts of you to your worst. He's also protective, because he cant handle losing yet another person so important to him. He'd rather tear himself apart than lose you.
He also seems mostly self-aware but can overthink to the point of delusion. For example, you pat him on the back and tell him he did a great job on something. He knows it's nothing to dwell on, but why does he feel like there's more to your words? Should he read in between the lines? but there's only one line! From then on, his mind would reel until he landed on a favorable conclusion. You meant that he was the only one who did great. The others paled in comparison in your eyes therefore you must favor Noritoshi in some way.. right?
Since Noritoshi was pretty deprived of any emotional support, you won't even have to try too hard to get his heart thumping. If you were to give him even just a bit more attention and care than the average person, like making sure he's eating alright or remarking that he's paler than usual after restocking his blood bags, he's hooked. He's self-aware enough to realize his blooming fondness for you is one-sided, so he simply admires you. that is, at the start. Note that Noritoshi is still new to these feelings so he's.. awkward. It's really cute.
Though these moments were cute to you, they slowly became horribly blissful to Noritoshi. Poor you, completely unaware of how you're slowly corrupting him in, what he thinks, is the best way possible just by giving him your attention. He thinks you're the last and only person still believing in him, so much so that everything and everyone else slowly becomes minuscule in the grand seam of things. He feels happy around you, like he matters, like he has someone to trust, like he has someone who won't abandon him. Because of this, he sees you as a new goal. A new hope. Failing you is not an option. Disappointing you is not an option. Hell, even a frown from you is unacceptable in his eyes.
Noritoshi tries to cling to you at this point in his own way... He enjoys it when you speak to him, or even sit next to him, so much so that he seeks you out when you're not there. You'd feel eyes boring holes into the back of your head, a sense of being followed, sometimes seeing your shadow accompanied by another, every time you turn around to be surprised by a familiar face. His footsteps are so quiet that you barely notice Noritoshi walking around.
Unfortunately, due to Noritoshi’s inexperience, the only way he knows how to impress people is by being “perfect” a.k.a. his strict, pain in the ass, annoying heir shtick. He would be the type to get on your case, scold, coddle, nitpick, correct you, and practically look like he's trying to bully you when in reality he's trying to hear praise from you for "helping" you. He’s waiting for you to see the affection and adoration behind his nagging, is he not being obvious enough? oh well, at least your eyes are on him for now. When most people in Noritoshi's life have either put him second or flat-out abandoned him, he's satisfied with anything he can get from you. Though he'd prefer praise, the thought of your attention being given to another even for a second makes his stomach feel like it's tying in knots, so he settles for your annoyed tuts and glares.
Of course, after a while, you'd get tired of this and tell him to knock it off. Or some variation of what a decent human being would do like, “Do whatever you want, but don't meddle in people's business.”
You KNOW he's going to be picking that apart in the middle of the night while looking up at the ceiling. What did you mean by that? Do you mean ANYTHING he wants? As long as he doesn’t bother anyone? Were you talking about yourself and everyone in general? Were you talking about someone specific? Did you leave it up for him to decide? Thoughts and questions circle in his head until he twists your words enough into something that he favors again. Ah, you allow him to do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't get in your way. But he wants to be alongside you... Did you mean in your way to the point of annoyance? Noted. From then on, Noritoshi's strictness softened into light nagging and bearable hovering. He'd knock it off completely through gritted teeth and furrowed brows if you threatened him with the silent treatment. He'll slowly start it up again until you begin ignoring him, only then will he get the hint and relax a bit. only until next time, of course.
The intensity of Noritoshi's coddling can fluctuate depending on your actions. (recklessness, obedience, shyness, etc.) it's his love language.
It's a completely different story if someone else decides to nag you as Noritoshi does... If someone scolds you, Noritoshi's on the offense. He's known for his occasional bluntness and sassy remarks, but this time... He's contradicting himself all in an attempt to get the other person to back away. If the one scolding you brings up points Noritoshi used in the past, he firmly denies them all and stands by your side. He'd rather sound hypocritical than let someone else care for you the way he does. Noritoshi stands in front of you, almost guarding you with his body and begins his barrage of deflective comments through his clenched jaw such as “That's not your place to say” “Shut it, they did no wrong.” “You don't know the reason why they did so, leave them alone.” and other things similar to that. Jeez, take your advice Noritoshi.. He’d argue and become antagonistic towards someone scolding you, even if it's exactly what he was about to do.
The same goes for someone who tries to be gentle with you to a lesser degree. It's nice that people see how wonderful you are, but having your smiles and kind words directed at anyone else other than Noritoshi is... Upsetting. The resentment gradually pools in the pit of his stomach and suddenly finds himself impulsively moving towards you and this "friend." He stands in between you and the kind person, trying his best to conceal his sneers. He wants nothing more than to have the third party get swallowed up by the ground or hit by a car, but he keeps his composure. Noritoshi sternly states how he’ll handle everything from then on and gives the third party a glare that's much more hateful than usual… Finally! Noritoshi has you to himself again! All is right in the world once more...
Noritoshi has always been on a very tight rope... Any wrong step and it’s going to snap. The more Noritoshi gets attached to you, the easier it is to convince himself that it's okay to cross certain lines to make sure you're safe with him. Even if that line he’s crossing, includes murder. It'd happen quicker if he caught feelings after the whole incident with the Kamo clan. You'd be the only thing he has left, the only thing he'd cling onto with every fiber of his being, emotionally and sometimes physically.
And like every fairy tale, a problem unconventionally shows itself much to Noritoshi's dismay... Noritoshi is shown to be prideful at times. Because of this, he'd try to conceal his more embarrassing emotions and reactions towards you. He wants to be seen as someone strong you can rely on, a steady pillar to your stability, someone who will do anything you wish at the drop of a hat, but it’s almost impossible to execute when he feels like he's nothing but putty in your hands at the slightest sign of positive reciprocation.
If Noritoshi felt his face heating up because your laugh caught him off guard, he'd turn his head to hide how that simple action made him nearly melt into mush. If your hand brushed against his, he'd quickly swipe it away. Not because he doesn't want to touch you, but because you'd feel how shaky and sweaty his palms got with just a graze. Noritoshi's gaze always lingers on his bow if you ever touch it causing his aim to decline in accuracy significantly.
He mentally curses himself out every time he pulls away from you because he knows he's sending mixed signals. Noritoshi loves you endlessly, but please spare his fragile heart. Your presence overwhelms him like no other, and he's utterly conflicted on how to act. He can handle being by your side like he wants, but the second your 100% focus is on him and only him, he’ll start to squirm under your gaze. Noritoshi wants to impress you! Stop being so mesmerizing for just a second so he can gather his thoughts and not embarrass himself! A-ah, but don't look away!!!
Tl;dr Noritoshi as a yandere is needy and petty as hell, but will explode if he gets an ounce of affection! He’s also! A creepy hopeless romantic who sends you mixed signals!
#kamo noritoshi#kamo noritoshi x reader#yandere kamo noritoshi#noritoshi kamo#noritoshi kamo x reader#yandere noritoshi kamo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yandere jujutsu kaisen#i love the energy#the enthusiasm you have is a beautiful thing to see in someone#i also love yandere noritoshi#personally i like softer yanderes that wouldn't intentionally do harm to their darling#even then i doubt noritoshi would even hurt his darling at all#I WROTE SO FUCKING MUCH#RHHRJFG I WANT TO SAY MORE BUT ILL SAVE IT FOR FUTURE POSTS.#I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THIS WASN'T JUST ME CURSING AND KEYBAORD MSASHING#yan noritoshi is also not above stalking. sending love letters. studying you. and all those definate green flags#WHY CANT I SHUT THE FUCK UP#ITS BC THIS TOPIC ENTERTAINS ME#TY ANON FOR BRINGING IT UP#SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG#SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIEND LET ME TALK ABOUT THIS AND BOUNCED IDEAS BACK AND FORTH WITH ME THAT ONE TIME#I LOVE YOU FOREVER#now im not saying that every noritoshi in my entire blog is supposed to be seen as still yan noritoshi.. but if you were to think that.#i wouldnt deny it#yanderes arent insane all the time.. so think the cute stuff he does to be the dere... i need to draw the yan more often.. we'll get there.#and if youre wondering#NGL I ATE ON THIS DRAWING. FUCK. IT CAUSE MY PC TO FREEZE SO MANY TIMES BUT THE WORLD HAS TO KNOW ABT YAN NORITOSHI#null rot
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rewatching night at the museum for the first time in a while and wow. i missed this film.
#JEDTAVIUS#MY BELOVEDS#got into a heated argument w my brother on jedediah's name#cause no he isnt called JEREMY#thats bmc#thx robin williams for teaching me what teddy roosevelt did since my history teacher sure didnt#as much as i love this movie sadly i can ignore the plot holes#how did larry manage to learn enough things about the majority of the stuff at the museum#in a day#teach me your ways#Opinions on the animals?#the t rex is a treasure#fuck dexter tho#i dont wanna see that primate ever again in my life#btw its so funny how teddy talking to ahkmenrah is like#HA! YOU DIDNT GO OUT FOR 54 YEARS SURE AS HELL IM NOT FREEING YOU TONIGHT#meanwhile 2 nights later#idk how y'all watched the film but in the italian dub ahkmenrah has the most OUTRAGEOUS british accent#and while he probably has it even in english in italian it sounds very weird and very funny#a new thing crossed my mind this rewatch tho#wow those are civil war fighters. would have been cool to have the founding fathers too.#soooooo did anyone write a night at the museum au for hamilton#asking for a friend#and if someone is actually reading this.#Idk how much ive written but people dont you have anything better to do than to read my thoughts on this 2006 film#(thank you for reading my thoughts on this 2006 film)#lastquickthought#rebecca fangirling over sakagawea is me at convention w cosplayers#thanks for coming to the impromptu ted talk#ig???
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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Hoping that in the next patch they stop tweaking characters personalities and start fleshing out Wyll's storyline...
#its definitely coming across as fanservice#i love the new kisses#are they fanservice too?#sure#but they dont change anything really#but tweaking characters core personality traits#if it keeps happening will there be anything left of what we once knew?#but wylls storyline is so underdeveloped#like if they fixed that do you know how much better the game woule be?#companions with equal screentime? with all the same thought and care put into their writing?#youd think the son of the duke of baldurs gate would be very inportant#but hes just an afterthought#and its so upsetting#and other companions need more story development too#but wyll as a character has been absolutely shafted#keep releasing bug fixes etc#but if youre going to update the writing at least sort wylls lack of story out#sorry for the rant#but im seeing more stuff about patch 6 and its making me think about the game as a whole now#bg3#wyll ravengard#bg3 wyll
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i havent seen blink twice so i cant really speak on whether it had a sufficient trigger warning but seeing some of the people talking about it come to the conclusion that no sexual content should be shown in movies ever is making my blood boil
#like babe thats CENSORSHIP#also idk i feel like the fact that it had a trigger warning at all would be enough to make me go#hmmmm maybe i should do a quick google search and see how bad it is#like i look at the imbd parent guide before basically every rated r movie i see bc i know im pretty sensitive to certain stuff#i mean maybe a lot of people dont know about that? but like... im sure if you look up “how graphic is x movie” youll find your answer#and maybe I'm being insensitive bc i dont actually know how bad the scene theyre talking about is#i think a lot of the discussion is about how the movie was marketed vs what it was actually about#which might be a valid point idk#but people are definitely going too far with their conclusions and its driving me crazy#ok sorry rant over peace and love <3
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i know love triangles are a contentious topic but sometimes a love triangle shoujosei manga will create the best most pathetic wonderfully embarassing little man BUT he's only this good Because theres a love triangle that gave him that character arc. or sometimes they'll give you the greatest gal pal on earth but only after she tries to kill the main character because they both have a crush on the same guy. i understand love triangles can be frustrating but sometimes they are. a necessary evil
#this is about mashimo from 200m saki no netsu. highly recommend its a great manga#i love that the main character wants a sub boyfriend so bad. i hope she gets it#actually specifically. i hope she gets two. i really adore her relationship with 40 year old puppy man hirara. but also#mashimo gets more and more embarassing and pathetic each chapter and i really love him. come on mashimo we can throuple this#im sure hirara would be down hes probably experimented in his 40 years. we can throuple this#but for real honestly i dont mind love triangles. tbh most of the hate for em seems to come from like#fans of ya novels and stuff so i understand. i also didnt really like the way love triangles were written in most ya novels i read in#middle school either. but i like em in shoujo manga i think they can be like#hilarious or sometimes really dramatic and tense or sometimes goofy as hell#or sometimes you desperately want all three to get together. and sometimes it makes the most embarrassing guy on earth <3#mashimo youre such a dumbass <3 <3 <3 i want to see your downfall so bad#NOT because hes bad or anything hes a kind character i just want to see him dissolve into the saddest pile of embarrassment on earth#awesome character type. i hope kikka gets to see him like this more too im sure she would enjoy it#losing in a love triangle really is a great way to build character LOL
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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Trying? Trying??? By learning. By succeeding!
(about this and my text under the cut)
this is very nice actually thank you so much <3 <3 and like, i probably do need to give myself more credit in general but also i am still very much learning and stumbling and figuring digital art out (and for the most part it is so fun)
I’m gonna ramble about this a bit so bear with me and also i apologize lol, but that art was done after a month of getting increasingly more frustrated with everything turning out so badly and eventually realizing that I was trying to 1. copy a certain look/style that i’ve internalized is what fanart and digital art should look like and is very far away from my style/comfort zone 2. i was trying to do everything digital allows without being comfortable with it or understanding it
so (and this took me a month to realize ? ??) i did what i already knew from doing acrylic and oil painting in the past and could somewhat easily transfer to digital without having to know more than the basics, like i didn’t use a lot of the things digital provides or allows for. i used layers for my own peace of mind but without actually needing them and did some color adjusting (honestly, the color adjusting digital lets you do is such a blessing to me) but the only fancy way i really utilized the medium was making it a gif (which is so fun and a lot easier than i would have thought, like honestly watch me make any future art into gifs too) but there are so many things you can do with the medium with settings/effects, different brushes, tools to use in the process etc that i just do not understand what they are or how to implement them so i am very slowly learning digital art as a whole new medium rather than just being able to use it to adapt what i already know
#sorry you just wanted to say a quick thing and i went on a whole rant (welcome to my blog tbh)#like i'll watch tutorials and they'll be like 'and i just did an overlay and then a multiply layer in a good color (:' and im like ??? wdym#'a good color' what color is a good color? like i can put those effects on my work but that's just me clicking a button without knowing wha#will happen really and like i watch speed paints and see them do stuff and im just ? HUH? what was that and why?#i also do not understand a lot of these concepts with traditional art tbh like people will talk about under paintings and im like yeah sure#i hear you however i also do not- i just place a color where it should be and that's that which i know is why my colors often don't feel#cohesive which is also something i need to learn which is blah- im basically just saying i actually do not know any theory or technique#even with traditional it is all just vibes and hoping for the best which in the long run just makes me very confused about what i am#actually doing and not confident at all i'll be able to do it again so u know#we're out here literally just raw dogging art without any thought#but it's also just i do not need to do all those fancy things but i would like to understand them and i am excited to see my progress now#i just really had a shitty month of making ugly things up until now okay so i was a little fragile when i posted that#but people have been so so nice about it and ive been crying for two days straight#also people have been so lovely about the colors and colors are deadass the hardest part about digital like with paint you often buy a set#that already match and then mix them if needed and they'll look nice together but with digital you're just on your own- no training wheels#ask#anon
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googles "will i be arrested if i play the exact same bg3 character for the third time in under 2 months"
#like again i know. i paid 70€ for this game i can play it however the fuck i want#but i still feel kind of. embarrassed?? esp bc im at my parents for christmas and new years and they know ive played this character twice#and like surely i should want to do something different after like 250 hours and yet... 😭😭😭😭😭#and ive realised that i never found the blood of lathander and my character def would want to get it even if it destroyed an ancient temple#and ive seen even more dialogue that i missed bc somehow i couldve long rested more frequently even tho i made a conscious effort to do tha#the second time around (bc i started playing multiplayer with my parents and already we got long rest stuff i never saw 💀)#also dialogue choices that fit him more but i was still too scared to pick bc i was afraid id get insta killed#or a companion would get so pissed off theyd leave..........#you could be like oh so you know what happens why would you play it but like why does anyone play sims or something#like sometimes you wanna see your little guys in scenarios 😭#(OH also i wanted to see if i could give astari0n worms in the beginning since he wanted them so bad#and it was literally one of the things he and my character bonded over as in they were the only bitches who thought they should use them#i just never thought to give any to him even tho he asked bc i always forget i can do stuff with the companions#AND im always afraid ill fuck something up for them gfkfjdhfkgkf)#anyway the point is wow still i have an unreasonable attatchment to this character of mine and i love him sm#and somehow i dont get bored of playing the same character after two full campaigns
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