#im sure its fucked up because of something i did so i really shouldnt complain because its my fault

[chilope]

they should invent a body that does what you want

[leolingo]

(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun

[its-no-biggie]

FINALLY finished ultra despair girls. rambles and ending spoilers ahead

i almost rage quit during the final boss fight because the combat mechanics were at their absolute worst (which is saying something because i found the combat incredibly frustrating front to back). but narratively the ending was. fine i guess. i think sdr2 did the whole "i reject your dichotomy" thing better and the way monacas plan got thwarted was kinda. dumb. i liked the fukawa/komaru development though! having monaca back komaru into a corner and then fukawa saves her, which monaca didnt account for, was good! but the whole. giant monokuma comes out of nowhere and tears the building down. defeat it and then you win!!!! really ruined the whole scene i think.

honestly komaru and fukawas friendship arc was the best part of the game. (also every komaeda appearance but thats just because im insane.) like the fight in the middle was SO yuri. especially when genocide jack held the knife up to komarus throat and she didnt even flinch??? obsessed. honestly fukawa kinda gets on my nerves as a character and that didnt really change, but it was cute that she finally made a friend. i liked it. the scene where fukawa finally got komarus name right was nice, and i like that she never once messes it up after that. and the way komaru tries to call her toko-chan once they become friends and fukawa really cant handle it so she goes back to fukawa-san, but then she calls her toko-chan in the after credits scene....... really good. theres more than that but just..... their relationship is a little unconventional but still really sweet and i like it. i think its good as the central relationship of the game. and also i think they should kiss

and. im sure ive complained about this before but im complaining about it again. absolutely BAFFLED at the decision to make the main villains abused children. genuinely what the fuck is that. its not that it COULDNT work but its not handled well at all..... like. yes they were manipulated by monaca, who was manipulated by junko. yes they werent REALLY the bad guys because komaru was being manipulated into siding with the adults for monacas grand plan (although by the end it was more like. both sides are wrong. so they /were/ still bad guys, just not the only bad guys). i dont CARE. the whole "woahhhh monaca was faking her disability for attention!!! because shes evil!!!!" twist??? awful. im not opposed to the concept of a character faking their disability for manipulative reasons but i resent the constant framing around these kids being "the bad stuff you went through doesnt excuse your actions". to be clear - im not saying that because you were abused as a child means its okay to kill all adults ever. but i am saying that kids acting out after being abused by their fucking parents is extremely reasonable, and the narrative is intentionally exaggerating this type of behavior in order to punish it. and im TIRED OF IT. monaca faking her disability for attention is literally explicitly because she felt like an outsider in her own family. yes it was manipulative. yes you shouldnt fake having a disability. but children whose needs arent being met will do whatever it takes to make sure those needs are met. and this is framed as Evil Villain Behavior and i am NOT HAVING IT. humanize the motherfucking abuse victims or die by my sword

anyway. overall. i got through it so it clearly couldnt have been too bad. i think im making it sound worse than it was - it does have its charms. but. i didnt really find the characters, plot OR gameplay that enjoyable. it has its moments but overall i didnt really have fun. so. not really a good game for me. but now its done and i can move on to the rest of the series!! yippee!!!

[demadogs]

what are the most and least believable byler theories to you? personally i 100% believe dustin’s line about mike complaining about joyce’s job HAD to have been about will bc it’s just too specific for them to bring up again after specifically establishing will being mad mike didn’t call more. on the other hand i feel like the being different/you’re the heart music theory is a bit of a stretch..

i agree that i dont think the music thing is intentional. when i listened to it it didnt sound right together at all.

there are some things that i really wanna believe bc itd be cool as shit but im still on the fence about. like the one of suzies house and the girl on the ground choking and the kid telling his dad “your terror? it looked genuine!” being a parallel to mike’s monologue. visually i completely understand where the theory came from but the dialogue im not sure. the word “terror” throws me off because if thats paralleled to mikes monologue that implies that mike wasnt actually scared for el’s life which isnt true at all. if the kid said something like “your performance looked genuine” then that could have been applied to mike saying he loves her and i’d be more sold.

another one im not sure about but i would love if it is intentional is the pineapple pizza. it is interesting especially that he ended up liking it but i think it also easily couldve just been a comic relief moment to interrupt mike and el’s conversation.

this one is more of production kinda theory than a plot theory but some people think bylers had a significant moment on 1x1, 2x2, 3x3, and 4x4 so theyre expecting something big to happen for the fifth episode of s5. honestly i think this is a coincidence and im not gonna expect anything when i watch 5x5. thats like a taylor swift level easter egg. like taylor is fucking crazy in the song betty at 2:46 she says the line “james get in” and in august at 2:46 she says the line “get in the car”. that kinda reminds me of this theory and honestly i just dont think the duffers would think to hint at byler through episode numbers. i think when its not dialogue or actions they mostly rely on the set design, music, and cinematography.

i also dont consider mikes cliff jump in s1 a suicide attempt. i know the audience was told that no one would survive that but i think mike thought he would survive and he just might get hurt. i also dont think will was on his mind when he did this. he did it to save dustin.

and this one might be an unpopular opinion but i dont really believe anything related to the number 7 being a byler thing. that was mentioned once in the first episode and it was just to show that in dnd will got taken by the demogorgan and foreshadow what happens to will. yes, he told mike and only mike but i wouldnt at all consider that a byler moment, it was just relevant to the plot and i dont think any other unimportant mention of the number 7 is related to byler at all like mike saying in s3 “sorry that made me sound like a 7 year old” or him drinking 7up on the car. i especially dont buy it when people start doing math with episode numbers or something like that.

some i fully believe in are the mlvn parallels to stancy with both mike and nancy not able to say they love them and both heart to hearts with who they actually love on top of a car. (tho i think that wouldve been more impactful if they didnt bring stancy back outta nowhere but i dont think nancy likes steve back.)

another parallel is when jancy was murrayd and murray said to nancy that shes probably afraid to accept herself for who she really is and that she shouldnt return to the safety of steve bc “we like steve but we dont love steve”. that applies perfectly to mike and i think it was intentional foreshadowing mikes future struggle with his sexuality and liking will more than el, especially considering the fact that this was told to both mike and wills siblings… the other version of byler. i also think this was foreshadow for mike because for nancy i really cannot think of anything she was struggling with where she would be given advice to “accept herself for who she really is”. her story that season was grieving her best friend and wanting to give barbs family closure and having relationship issues with steve because she had feelings for jonathan. thats not much of an internal struggle of accepting herself.

theres a lot of theories i see go around that i think are a stretch ngl but there are sooo many things that i do think are intentional so its always fun no matter what to see what other people think and form my own opinions.

[brelione]

Defender (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Canon Rafe,Canon Barry,Violence,short.

Request:Hello, can you do one with JJ when his girlfriend is in some kind of danger and he is very worried about her? A bit angsty and fluffy❤️You’re the best!!!

JJ woke up at two in the afternoon to a call from you.He smiled, wondering what you were calling him for.Sometimes you’d call him to tell him a fun fact or about a really funny joke you had just heard.

The others werent awake yet and he wasnt planning on being awake for a couple more hours, wondering why you would be awake at this time.Half asleep he answered the phone,his smile quickly fading.

 “What?”He asked, wanting to make sure that he had heard you properly. “I have no idea what to do, like they’re still there.”You whispered,glancing outside your bedroom window to see Rafe and Barry standing there, both of them holding pistols as they waited for you to answer the door.

You knew what this was about, that they were probably hoping JJ or the other pogues were there so Barry could have his money back.Your bedroom door was locked, hoping that they wouldnt kick the door down.

 “Alright, just stay put im on my way.”He whispered through the phone, scared that if he talked louder Rafe and Barry would break in faster.You stayed still, hiding under your windowsill as far from your door as you could be.

You couldve called the cops but then you’d have to explain why the two men were here in the first place and what your boyfriend had done which would do more harm than good.You did your best to keep your breathing under control, knowing it wouldnt help to be gasping and sobbing the whole time.

He got on his bike, figuring that it would be faster than John.B’s shitty van, speeding to your house with his heart pounding in his chest, tears pricking at his eyes.If you got killed it would 100% be his fault.He couldnt let it happen,picking up the speed, thorns slashing at his ankles but he couldnt care less.

Barry kicked your door in, shouting for you.Rafe hoped he wouldnt be forced to kill you.You were one of the few pogues he wasnt absolutely disgusted by and he didnt want to make that list any shorter.

 “Come out, come out wherever you are!Cant hide from us forever!”Her shouted,chuckling right after.Rafe was shaking, knowing that Barry probably wouldnt hesitate to shoot you.JJ skidded across the grass of your backyard,jumping off the bike with his hand on his gun,hurrying around the front of the house to see that the door had been forced open, cursing.

He wouldve texted or called you to ask if you were okay but luckily he thought about it, knowing that your phone would ring and give away your location to the two intruders.He tip toed through your house,finding Rafe in your kitchen.JJ was careful as he came up behind the older boy, getting close enough to press the cold barrel of the gun against the back of his head. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”JJ whispered,knowing that he had power over Rafe at this moment.Rafe went to turn, only for JJ to kick him to the floor, foot on the boy’s back and then gun to his head, Rafe’s gun falling from his hand.

 “I-Barry is upstairs-he knows that you took his money.”Rafe managed to squeak out, the bottom of JJ’s shoe pressing further into his spine.JJ leaned down, grabbing Rafe’s gun. “Get the fuck out and dont come back, ever.I will blow your fucking brains out, understand?”JJ asked, stomping down on his spine to prove his point.

Rafe held back a shout, nodding, running out as soon as JJ removed his foot.He now had two guns which meant that now he was more powerful than Barry.Speaking of, he could now hear the sound of all the other doors being forced open.

He carefully made his way up the stairs,Rafe’s gun in his hand now because it seemed more powerful.He saw Barry approaching your door, praying that you had barricaded it.He was shaking slightly, knowing that he had the upper hand since Barry hadnt seen him yet.

He ran at full speed towards the man, slamming him to the ground.It was all kind of blurry,everything happening quick as JJ’s hand pressed into the brunette’s throat, lifting him up before slamming him back down, blood coming from his cheekbone,temple and lip.

He was nearly unconscious when your door flew open to reveal you holding a metal baseball bat as you prepared to bash someones head in. “If you ever come back here I will fucking kill you.”JJ shouted,shaking Barry by the shoulders.Barry was to dazed to even look at the blonde,his head rolling to look at you instead.

 “You got yourself a defender, huh?”he chuckled, coughing blood.You glared down at him,stomping on his hair and making him hiss in pain.Barry got up, stumbling out of your house, the blood not stopping.

JJ let out a sigh of relief, looking up at you.He took the bat from your hands, hugging you tight. “Fucking hell, (Y/N).Im sorry.”He muttered,squeezing you so hard you thought your ribs might break. 

“Its fine,JJ.Im fine, everything is fine.”You whispered,fingers combing through his hair.He was just lucky that he had arrived before Barry got to the right door, silently thanking the universe.

He insisted on taking you back to John.B’s, claiming that you would be safer there not that Rafe and Barry knew where you lived.You held onto him as he drove the bike,head on his back.He had gone slower on the way back, not wanting you to get your ankles slashed by the same thorns.

He had to explain the situation to the rest of the pogues, all of them outraged by the situation.They had lectured him about taking the money, “I knew we shouldnt have taken that money, I told you this would happen!”John.B exclaimed, becoming frustrated. 

Pope and Sarah a lot more concerned about how you were doing mentally and physically after it, Pope asking if you were hurt at all and Sarah apologizing for her brohter doing something so terrible.

You told them that you were perfectly fine, not understanding why they were making such a huge deal of it. “God, I hate my brother.”Sarah groaned,resting her head against her palm.Kie rolled her eyes, looking over at you.

 “Thats what you have to say?Rafe tries to kill (Y/N) and all youre worried about is what it has to do with you?”Kiara sighed, making JJ smile. “Uh oh.”He mumbled into your ear, kissing your cheekbone lightly. 

“Shut up!”Sarah shouted back,John.B smacking his head against his seat. “Guys, seriously?”He asked, looking between the two girls. “Oh, as if you’ve been helpful!What are we gonna do now that they know where she lives?She cant go back there!”Kiara exclaimed, making JJ sit up.

 “I agree there, that’s why I think she should stay with you for a while. I mean think about it, your parents like her best, right?And you guys have that fancy ass kook security so they cant get to her there and you two get to have fun sleepovers.I see this as an absolute win.”JJ agreed, his hand somehow ending up on your knee.

Nobody really protested it, agreeing that it was probably the best option they had. “I’ll just find a way to sneak in at night.”He whispered into your ear.Kiara bit the inside of her cheek, thinking about it.

She would be lying if she said it wasnt a pretty good plan, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”She agreed, pretty sure her parents would be fine with it.They liked you mainly because you were a girl and you were quieter than the others, they couldnt really complain about you much.

The rest of your day was spent pressed against JJ’s chest on the living room couch, kisses being placed on your forehead and neck. “I love you.”He repeated over and over again. “Love you too.”You muttered, his constant touching making you tired. 

“Im sorry that Barry tried to kill you.”He muttered, sounding so serious that it made you laugh. “It’s fine...”You mumbled, still kind of shaken up over the whole situation. “Nope.”He replied, kissing you gently. “But i’ll make it up to you, promise.”He held up his pinkie, twisting it around yours.

@nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland  @yuxsh06   @ifilwtmfc  @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67  @poguestyleskye @judayyyw  @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98 @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx  @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles​ @angelreyesgirl100  @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab  @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

[numbaoneflaya]

You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

[hunbomb]

roommate! jaemin

i hope u guys like this one! i do :) 

warning: not proofread LMAO

jaemin: a huge flirt

like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely

however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him

except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~

jk you are 

cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???

okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends 

and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)

luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm

and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to 

anyway

so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery

jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr

you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin

jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift

and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix

but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin

and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way 

mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno

sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level

cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air

so timeskip to senior year

everything is great

your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary

jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage

but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!

cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience

you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff

the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL

“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”

“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((

anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH

but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in

one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual

and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room

and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA

and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there

cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?

“.... they ended early”

“i see” ://////////

you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door 

poor jaemin is just like “what”

cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him

so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up

so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,

“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak

“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”

your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something

“how long have you felt this way?”

OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know

“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”

jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”

so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets

you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that

so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided 

its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((

jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out

because your confession kind of opened his eyes

he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings

these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends

so he pushed them down and never thought about it again

but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous

so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations

youre  kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that

it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder

and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face

and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared

a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms

and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two

he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home

and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters

“im sorry it took me so long”

and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while 

the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother

and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you

“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand

but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”

your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh

he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said

that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf

OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long

jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years! 

its super cute

its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday

jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you

jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE

jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean

you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad 

he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings

and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”

sad jaemin :((((( 

anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation 

you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals

i need me a jaemin

[carternate]

i really dont understand my own feelings

and im fucking terrified of myself.

i refuse to say im okay anymore. my head isnt okay

what im feeling isnt fucking normal

and i take it out on my girlfriend but in the same respect im terrified of telling her shit because i will be exposed. i trust her i want her and i love her more than anything. but i dont know how to explain my emotions anymore. i never did actually. im a fucking mess in general. i hate that i feel stuck in a prison of my own body. its not the dumb ass transgender feeling

its a literal feeling of a cage.

i hate the people in my past. i hate that they still have an impact

i hate that i cant control myself like i used to be able to and that i cant even take my medication because i tell myself im too tough for it lmao. i literally was so close to ending my life, but in an instant this time. not some pussy shit where i begged for help and then it was possible for someone to save me

i almost really just ended it. ended it because i didnt find value in it.

i dont feel good enough and everything seems wrong

but i want to be okay and be good and make it to heaven. i used to have a passion

i used to love god with all my heart but i cant even understand it anymore

its noones fault but my own

and that hurts even more

i cant even try to blame it on another its on me this time

ive lost control

i cant even think long enough to listen in my hour long class.

i thought i was broken before because of a family that degraded me

but whatever the fuck i feel now feels eighty times worse

but i keep it internal and i cant keep it in anymore

im going to fucking explode

im falling apart completely

and im going insane

and i dont feel that i belong here

i literally will sit in my car and think of scenarios

but when i actually start to FEEL its absolutely ridiculous and insane

and SO much.

i try to bring positivity and help anna

and i try to be sure that sentences like this dont happen

but flashbacks hit me hard

the hospital, that week. that first week was insane.

its fucked to say

but i felt like i belonged there. i felt like that could be my home. from the daily vitals,to the little kid that cried in the cornwr, to the creepy ass schizophrenic girl that was my roommate, to jenna, to my freak outs.

i was crazy. but i got to take it out and do it and have people who understood it and tried to help.

geneva ohio. is not a place where i can be okay and myself authentically

i cant even be myself at my fucking work place.

nobody understands shit other than the kids that were there

during our group sessions and even during school i felt like it was okay.

there is just a hole in my head that i can not find anything to fill

im curious about everything and i hve no idea what about

i have questions

so fucking many

and noone wants to hear them

i hate that i cant concentrate

i hate that when i tell my dad im not okay i cant even look him in the eye because all i can picture is coming out of the ambulance and seeing my mom and dad looking at me screaming what hppened

and i have never felt like that in my life.

i cant let go of that. i cant let go of the visual of mallory laying at the edge of my bed before i got sent away to laurelwood looking at me like “fuck dude. you really tried.” she looked sorry for me, but not the kind that people like want. not the kind of compassion

but the scared kind. she looked scared of me. nothing has been the same aince.i want to drown iut my thoughts

and my stupid fucking stutter

and i want to lay in annas arms and cry everything out

but i also want to fucking beat the shit out of someone

and thats not me. im not violent. but i want to like bEAT THE SHIT out of someone. anyone at this point. but whatever

i dont understand how things that are so fucking simple to other people are like fucking complete brain aches for me.

i cant go anywhere alone because i am scared of being physically alone but mentally ive never been more lonely and that scares me.

the story never ends i guess.

i hate how my mind can be spinning in circles and people that say they are there can be right next to me complaining and have no idea i want to jab a knife into my body lol

but then all i would be is a coward if i just ended it all. it would technically be the easy way out and i dont want to be that person. thinking about death doesnt really even scare me anymore, and that thought scares me more than death itself.

in a perfect world i guess everything would be fine

and i would be happy

and never necessarily need to think about things that hurt me or have those little bullets shot at my head with every turn i take.

but thats not reality, and realizing that alone needs

to be a priority that i take.

i probably wont ever live a life without triggers, depression, or anxiety.

and that fucking sucks.

especially because i know that people fake their mental illness just for the attention and they dont have to live with something that prevents them from doing everyday activities or being terrified of little shit

but in my opinion that attention people seek from illness or anything in general is the worst part about it. i hate when people find out about the hospital.

i get embarrassed regardless of how many times people will tell me its okay

like sure its okay. but its not normal. going to a mental institution shouldnt be something everyone does

or everyone knows someone who went. thats just fucked. and i hate that im someone that people will be like “oh emily went to one” or the questions i will get from people are absolutely morbid and NOT their business but i feel obligated to talk about it when people ask. its a fucked up world dude. and sometimes im really fucking sick of living in it.

i just want to be okay again, even if its for a second. just a second of peace and a second of understanding. a fucking break would be nice?

a vacation away with anna and my kitty? if i could get that right now my entire heart would be full. i need two weeks to mentally get myself okay again. but lucky for me that’s not possible, and some may say “welcome to the adult world” and that is such a fucking understatement.

this is never going to be over

and im always going to not be afraid of death and im always going to not know shit about myself and im always not going to treat anyone right and i cant fucking even breathe when im walking yet i still have to work daily. and im so sick of it from beginning to end. and i want my story to fucking end already.

God if you can see this by some small celestial chance you actually give a shit about Earth and its inhabitants fucking help me.

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

[voidselfshipp]

The Bar II

Pt 2

-So this time you got laid!-daemon says awfully proud of himself- you son of a bitch actually got laid, I knew she was the one-

- where did you meet her anyway?,she just stumbled on you a thought" oh this might be the one for that old bastard" -bastardo says, with a glint of annoyance on his voice, as he leaves the machetes on their stand.

-Yeah pretty much?, we had a small talk sort of became Friends and would you look at that I got you a girlfriend!-

-She is not my girlfriend...-

-YET!-

-Oh oh! Can I officiate the wedding, can I?, can iiii?- gizmo asks jumping from side to side all exited.

-you two are annoying- the mexican Man says, when his phone rings, oh would you look at that?its jerico- you two...shut. up. -

-Awww His wife called him!- the girl,gizmo, says again.

-Bet he gon get all mushy and shit, how was your day sugarplum,love of my life , sweetcheeks!- the kid and daemon start to cackle as bastardo rolls his eyes and answers his phone- Hola-

-Hola!-jerico's voice is energetic- hows everything there?-

-eh, daemons being an ass...- he says, looking at how daemon is wheezing on the floor, hugging his stomach, trying to regain his breath after so much laughter.

-Put me on speaker Will you- oh yes...things got suddenly better.

-Why of course...- there is a mischevious grin on his face as he puts the phone on speaker.

-Hey daemon!-she says.

-Hey G, hows everything?-daemon asks, standing up.

-Fine fine, now hear me out bitch, I catch you teasing my boy over here and ill go down there and ill beat your ass-

-Please g, you could never hurt a fly-

-Because a fly is a poor innocent creature, you how ever..., just like the time we met--

-Ooookay gotta go! Yeah nice hearing from you goodbye- daemon speeds away.

That gains a chuckle from bastardo as he leans on the wall.

-How did you two met then,hmm?-

-Oh i Beated his ass on boxing last time he went to the gym...-

He snorts, of course he would leave those details out.

-So you beat his ass and then he sets us up? I might have to marry you then-

Jerico keeps silent, her cheeks redden but chuckles a little bit in order to not preocupy him .

-Well, you dont hear me complaining- she says- hey, later wanna go down to the bar again, maybe to my place?-

-Sure, same hour as last time?-

-Yeah sure, oh I gotta go, im leaving for work, seems like one of the animators for one of the proyects called in sick...just in my day off..fuck..-

-Hey take it easy okay?, Stretch you wrist and all that- bastardo says in a softer tone.

-Look at you acting like a caring husband, we might have to marry after all, anyway,have a nice day, and hit me up if daemon gets all douch-y with you-

They exchange goodbye and both go around their day.

Finally night comes,jerico is already at the bar, her leg bounces anxiously,,finally Gerardo comes trough that door and she cant help her need to hug him.

In what moment did she fall I love?

-Look who finally got around and came!-

-Oh please, I know you miss me- the man nudges her with his elbow.

-Oh shut up- her face softly rests on one of her hands, she seems very tired- sorry...its Just a long long day at work-Bastardo takes her free hand, caressing it with his thumb frowning with concer, jerico blushes and looks away.

-Hey its fine- he says- we can just go to your place if youre tired...booze Will only make you feel worst about youself-

-You always make the best plans-

-But of course-

Once at jericos place both lay down on the sofá, drinking coffe snuggled agains eachother, one of Gerardos arm wrapped aroun her waist .

She sighs and leaves her mug on the floor, resting her head on the Mans shoulder.

Once he is finished he does the same and falls into a comfortable silence.

But something plagues his mind, a worry.

-We shouldnt be doing this, im a criminal, you might get into trouble if we do this-

Jerico chuckles and looks at him, those big green eyes that he fell in love with.

-as you said 'trouble knows no age ' , señorito-

-You smug little shit- he hugs her tightly and laugh,wrestlig with her as she tries to break free.

-if you plan to spend the night here, come over to my bed, youll sleep unconfortable as hell there- she breaks free and walks towards the bathroom- im going to brush my teeth, my room is the one down that corridor.

{...}

Jerico lays down and closes her eyes, an arm Gently wraps around her side,dragging her towards bastardos chest.

-I couldnt stay away,y'know?-

She sighs and gives into the warm feeling.

-So we are doing this?-

Bastardo nodds.

-absolutely-

They share a quick kiss.

And as the Gentle moonrays filter trough the blinds , they fall asleep.

Its their moment now,, the outside Word doesnt exists.

{...}

Morning arrives, the warm Rays of sun heat up the place nicely.

The smell of food...and mariachi music... wakes her up, she sits on her bed confused.

There is only one motherfucker who could pull some shit like that.

-Why...does he have mariachi music?,why..I I...- she stands up, and she walks to the kitchen , turning off the speakers.

-Hey, you cut my jam!- bastardo says.

-Yeah morning to you too- she mumbles half asleep.

Gallardo hugs her from behind, his chin rests on her head.

-Coffee is ready, no need to do more..-

Jerico leans on his chest and smiles.

-You wake me up with mariachi music again, and youll get the couch, understood?-

-Aye aye captain-

Gallardo goes back to cooking, jeri grabs one of the spare blankets and kind of sets up the couch nicely to cuddle.

Both sit there as they eat breakfast.

-Look at us, eating breakfast and watching the news like an old,married, couple- jerico says.

-Not married, yet..-he says-but I wasnt kidding when I said I'd marry you, any woman that can kick my and others ass is good in my book-

Jerico knew he wasnt kidding.

-We might need to leave the marriage further down the line though-

Bastardo nodds.

-Just tell me when youre ready, ill buy you the nicest wedding ring to ever exist-

-As if you could afford it-

-Oh shut up...If I had to kill a Man to get it, he would be 6 feet under in no time-

-Look at you, killing a Man for me, what a charmer-

They chuckle and kiss.

Its going to be one hell of a morning.

{...}

Bastardo watches the phone ring for the fourth time,then sending the call into voicemail.

-you are not going to answer?- jerico asks, her head laying on gallardo's lap, as one of his hands caress her scalp.

-Nah, right now its me and you-

-awww- she chuckles and sits on his lap, hugging him tightly as he laughs and hugs back-but really, just call whoever is calling you,okay?,then we can do whatever we please-

{...}

-Should we order food?, I dont feel like cooking- jerico said, as she checks her fridge-eh... no , not cooking today-

-Then ill Cook, dont worry- bastardo kisses her temple as he checks the fridge-you have worked enough go and rest-

The woman nodds and walks outside the kitchen , saying quite loudly.

- your soon to be my husband if you Keep this up!-

-Thats the plan amor!-

Bastardo says followed by a chuckle, he might as well go and buy the ring.

~{...}~

[atomicwedgienerd]

Boyfriend Twins No Longer

Derek was furious. Last night had been his 21st birthday and what should have been a blast had been ruined by all the jerks at that gay bar. “Boyfriend twins!” The taunt rung through his mind. Nobody had ever made fun of him and Arjun before! They didn’t even look that similar. After all, Derek might be tan but he could never be compared to Arjun. Sure they had both been wearing Abercrombie shirts and khakis in nearly the same hue, but lots of people dressed like that! And besides, Derek though their matching sneakers were cute. And yet, when they walked into that one queer bar in town, the hipsters all turned to them and immediately started laughing. The door guy asked if they were clones and the bartender asked if there was a 2-for-1 special at the Abercrombie shop. Like they were so cool just because they had piercings and tattoos! That didn’t make them unique! There were plenty of hipster “boyfriend twins” in that bar and nobody gave them any guff! Regardless, Derek couldn’t stop fixating on it. He hated being criticized by other gays after a lifetime of being mocked by straight people for being different. He glanced over at Arjun as he snoozed, admiring his butt in the matching pair of Andrew Christian briefs that they had actually bought in a 2-for-1 sale. Well damn, thought Derek, maybe we are a little similar. “Are you ok, hun?” Arjun asked, stirring from his sleep. Derek sighed and turned away. “You can’t be upset about the boyfriend twins thing, can you?” Derek harumphed and turned to his lover, unaware that the mystical forces that grant birthday wishes had decided to pay attention to Derek this year. “I just wish we weren’t so similar!” Derek said angrily. A lighting bolt cracked across the sky, scaring both of the boyfriends. “You’re being dramatic,” Arjun sighed as he got up from the bed. “Let me make you some coffee and we can do something fun for your birthday. Arjun headed out to the kitchen, his ass looking great in the jockstrap he was wearing. Wait, that wasn’t right, thought Derek. They had the same pair of underpants! “Arjun!” Derek cried. “What’s up with that jockstrap!?” “Uh duh, it’s what I always wear, bro,” Arjun yelled back from the kitchen. That didn’t seem right to Derek. He looked down at his own lap and noticed that he was now wearing a pair of plain Hanes tighty-whiteys. That definitely wasn’t right. He sat up and leaned over the edge of the bed but something else was wrong. His feet didn’t reach the floor anymore. Derek panicked and stood up. He looked in the mirror and something was off. Where they had both been a solid 5’11” before, Derek couldn’t be more than 5’8” now and he was looking leaner than usual. There was something weird going on with his hair but Derek couldn’t really discern it in the mirror. He grabbed his pair of thick black framed glasses from the end table and threw them on. His hair was paler, more red, than before and seemed to be stuck in a weird center part. This was not the haircut he had gotten a week ago. And wait a minute! Derek didn’t need glasses! He threw them off and the world turned into a total blur. Derek started to panic, breathing heavily and starting to hyperventilate. Arjun reentered the room, or at least Derek thought the blurry shape was Arjun—it seemed taller—and handed Derek a glass of skim milk. “What’s this?” Derek whined, his voice noticeably higher pitched. “Where is my coffee?” “You can’t drink coffee, bro,” Arjun laughed, his voice noticeably deeper. “You’re spastic enough as it is.” Arjun took a deep sip of his coffee. “Give me a sip of your coffee then!” Derek whined. Arjun laughed. “You need to put on your glasses dude.” Derek did as he was told and was shocked as the world came into focus. The Arjun in front of him was different. He was taller for one, at least 6’2” now, and substantially more muscular than he had been before. Whereas Arjun had always been clean shaven, he was now sporting a decent five o’clock shadow. Derek rubbed his face; it was now smooth where before he had been sporting the beginnings of a beard. And then Derek noticed Arjun wasn’t drinking coffee at all. He had a protein shake. “Something isn’t right!” Derek wheezed. Arjun rolled his eyes and handed him an inhaler. “You need to calm down bro. And use your inhaler. You know you’re not supposed to get excited. It’s time for us to get dressed and head to campus anyways.” “But it’s my birthday!” Derek complained, taking three short puffs of the inhaler. “So who cares!?” Arjun laughed. “Get out of my room and go get dressed!” Arjun’s room!? But they had shared a room for six months. Regardless, Derek felt too timid to argue and he shuffled meekly out of the room. Derek headed down the hallway and then noticed his backpack peeking out from their study. He opened the door and was shocked at what he saw. It wasn’t a study any more. It had turned into a bedroom. In the center was a twin sized bed with Pokemon sheets. The walls were decorated with anime posters and cardboard cut outs of Lord of the Rings figures. There was an entire shelf of trophies from Math League, Chess Club, the 24-Hour Coding Challenge, Klingon Karaoke. Whoever had this room was a total dork! And that’s when Derek saw it. A framed picture on the wall of a total dork with Patrick Stewart at a comic convention. The guy looked familiar even though he was wearing thick glasses and the nerdiest clothes Derek had ever seen. He looked closer and gasped. It was HIM. But this wasn’t right! This room belonged to a total dork and Derek wasn’t a geek! He barely even used his computer. And yet this room had a massive desk with multiple computers on them, running World of Warcraft! Derek looked at the picture again and shook his head. This couldn’t be right. He would never dress like this! And yet when Derek opened the closet. all the clothes matched those in the pictures. Plaid button downs, cheap pleated dress slacks, shiny leather shoes. None of it seemed right. “Hurry the fuck up and get dressed!” Arjun yelled from out in the hall. Derek had never heard him yell like that before. That wasn’t the Arjun he knew but something made Derek quiver. He did not want to make Arjun mad! He sighed and started getting dressed. He buttoned up the button down all the way to the top and felt compelled to add a too short black tie. He put on a pair of clashing brown slacks that stopped a couple of inches above his ankle and couldn’t stop himself from attaching a pair of red suspenders that yanked the waist of the pants up above his belly button. All of Derek’s socks were white crew socks now and they clashed with his black patent leather shoes but he could hear Arjun getting impatient so he threw them on in resignation. He was scared to make Arjun mad; something he had never felt before. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He looked like a total dork! He had definitely shrunk too! There was no way he was over 5’2” now. “HURRY UP DWEEB!” Arjun boomed from the living room. Derek grabbed his backpack and meekly shuffled out, his confidence totally eradicated. He gasped when he saw his boyfriend. Arjun towered over him now, standing at a solid 6’6”. Where he had been slightly muscled before, he was now a total meathead, weighing in at 300 lbs of pure muscle. The five o’clock shadow he had moments before was now a beard of epic proportion that came down to mid chest and his hair was up in an unruly and super masculine bun. Arjun’s muscles were massive… unlike anything Derek had ever seen and they were on full display as Arjun was now wearing a muscle tank that said “Give Me Deadlifts or Give Me Death” on it. On his legs, he wore tight black sweats that showed off every bit of muscle in his thighs and his massive calved. His arms were now dotted with tattoos and an 8 gauge septum piercing adorned his nose while double zero gauges rested comfortably in his ears. “S-s-s-since when do you l-l-l-lift weights?” Derek said, now aware that he stuttered. “S-s-s-s-since fucking forever, braceface,” Arjun laughed. Braceface? Why would Arjun call him that? But Derek reached up and touched his mouth and knew the answer. Huge clunky orthodontics were now glued to his teeth and when he caught his reflection in the mirror, he sighed. “You sh-sh-shouldn’t talk to your own boyfriend like that,” Derek implored. This sent Arjun into a series of hearty chortles. “Boyfriend!?” he laughed. “I would never date a dweeb like you, fuckwad. The only reason we live together is that the college said I needed to get my grades up if I wanted to stay on the weightlifting team and well, you’re too much of a fucking pussy to stand up to me when I ask you to do my homework.” Derek tried to argue but found himself getting too nervous. I guess I am too much of a pussy, he thought. “You’re right, Arjun,” Derek complied. Arjun rolled his eyes. “How many times have I told you? It’s AJ, not Arjun. Only my mom calls me Arjun. Now let’s get going.” Arjun grabbed Derek by the waist of his tighty whiteys, effortlessly lifting him up in a painful wedgie and carried him out the door. As they walked to campus, Derek felt all eyes on them. People were swooning over Arjun—er—AJ and pointing and laughing at Derek the whole way. He couldn’t stand it! AJ and Derek couldn’t be more different. That’s when it hit Derek. The wish. HE HAD WISHED FOR THIS. “Th-th-this isn’t what I wanted,” Derek said meekly as they arrived on campus. “Well I didn’t want to have to spend time with the university’s least attractive virgin but here we are,” AJ said as he dumped a bunch of books in Derek’s hands. “I’m going to need all these papers written by Monday so I can stay on the team.” “B-b-b-but-“ “No buts, dork!” AJ yelled as he shoved him towards the library. Derek looked at AJ with tears in his eyes. They had been so close, so in love, and now this was their life. More muscular hunks walked up to AJ as they started heading off to the gym. Derek turned meekly and started shuffling towards the library, his spindly legs giving him an awkward gait. “Hey nerd!” AJ yelled after Derek. “You forgot your student ID!” He flung it at Derek and it hit him right in the forehead, causing a chorus of laughs from AJ’s weightlifting bros. Derek struggled to pick it up from the ground without dropping all his books and gasped at his ID. For a brief moment, it listed the correct information: “Derek Parker, English Comp” before shimmering for a moment and changing. Derek blinked his eyes and looked at it again through this thick coke-bottle glasses. “Derwin Pimpleberg, Computer Science,” he sighed. Derek—make that Derwin—had totally changed, and all because of this stupid birthday wish. He headed into the library wanting to cry. Luckily, Derwin found academic achievement easy, which was great because soon AJ was making him do not only his homework, but also all of AJ’s weightlifting bros’ homework. AJ and his boys would come around on Saturdays and get wasted before heading out leaving Derwin alone to play World of Warcraft all weekend. While AJ would bring home a different stud every night to fuck, Derwin was alone reading fantasy novels and writing World of Warcraft fanfiction. And the noise from AJ’s heavy fucking made Derwin sad. Before the change, Derek and Arjun had had plenty of sex, but Derwin—well that was a different story. He was a virgin and try as he might over the next few decades, no one ever wanted to have sex with him and he remained a virgin forever. Eventually, the now roommates graduated but AJ didn’t want to let Derwin go. Why would he? Derwin was too meek to fight with AJ and would clean up after him, make his protein shakes, and wash his dirty gym clothes for him. Besides, whereas AJ’s degree was useless, Derwin’s computer science degree was a cash cow and Derwin was making tons of money consulting. Of course, AJ had made Derwin sign over all of his bank accounts to him so AJ could focus on professional body building instead of working, meaning that Derwin still had to wear cheap dorky clothes and couldn’t really afford to go out, not that he had any friends he needed to see. A few year later, Derwin had to go to his high school reunion and AJ decided to tag along. All of Derek’s friends were shocked to see that their old buddy was now a total nerd stereotype that went by Derwin but they were all enamored with AJ and joined in on mocking, ridiculing, and beating up Derwin. As his former friends hoisted him up the flagpole so he had to just dangle there in an atomic wedgie, Derwin sighed. He had wished that he and AJ were different and well, it couldn't have come any more true. 

[chnsfairy]

a rose of a different color | yang jeongin

words ; 2,302

requested ; no

genre ; fluff

warnings ; literally one, maybe two, curse words

a/n ; dedicated to one of the best people i know 

m.list in bio

-

ok so maybe you weren’t a big fan of the whole valentines day thing

flowers and chocolates and whatnot

the whole shEbANG

love was such a foreign concept to you as throughout your first couple years of high school you’d been solely focusing on your grades,, you didn’t have time for romance or anything like that 

cAUSE WE GOTTA GET THOSE GOOD GRADES KIDS ヽ( `д´*)ノ

your school had, unfortunately, decided to sell roses and chocolates that could be anonymously given to people. it was pretty cheap and people had fun sending their friends or special someone presents throughout the day

but you hadn’t been paying attention to whatever that was,, in the end, you completely forgot about it

anyway,,, i mean you’ve got a history test tomorrow GOOD LUCK BBY (づ￣ ³￣)づ

you’ve got other things to focus on other than that stuff 

so while other’s were busy wasting a dollar on the red roses, you were catching up on some school work in the library

at this point during the day it was nice and quiet, only a couple of other kids were sitting at the desks surrounding you and the librarian had left to eat or something

no one really knows where she goes

and the only noise that you could hear was the scribbling of pencils on paper or the clicky noise of fingers tapping keyboards

well that was until jisung decided to burst through the door and diSRUPT EVERYBODY LIKE USUAL THAT KID IS LOUDD (⇀‸↼‶) (＃＞＜)

your best friend everybody, with his fluffy blonde hair and headphones, permanently glued to his ears

“look y/n- i love that you always fix up my essays and homework for me, really, but you gotta do something other than just sit in here and workkkk” jisung said, quickly sliding into the seat across from you and took the book from out of your hands and into his lap

“hey!” he took your book bitch you want it back (︶︹︺)

“nope,, you can get it after class if you want~” jisung stood up and started waving it in the air before checking his watch and giving you a smirk

“lunch is over anyway do you ever check the clock?” book still in his hand he headed towards the doors that opened up into the busy hallway and disappeared into the crowd of students

did you want to get up?

no

did you have to to get that useless education? 

yes

so you frantically tried to shove everything back into your bag,, dropping things multiple times onto the floor as you scramble to catch up with jisung

who feels miles away at this point

and after about ten seconds you just gave up said ‘fuck this’ and started walking at a normal pace towards your locker 

aint no boy gonna make you run through the crowd of rushing teens o(>< )o (;¬_¬)

however when you did reach your locker you could clearly see the same boy you just basically ran away from you, leaning against the metal box and who seemed to be reading the back of your book

jisung saw that you were coming up from the hallway and stood up straight, allowing you to actually open your locker instead of just block you from it

“so can i have it back now?”

“i don't know what you’re talking about.”

that littlE-

“you know what- nevermind i guess you’ll just have to work on calculus by yourself” you chuckled lightly to yourself as you opened your locker

“wha- no! i’ll give it- oh hey” jisung stopped mid-sentence as he peered into the same metal box you were looking at

“woah y/n who’s the lucky guy?”

“uhhhh,,, no one???” wth jisung you know its me stfu

when you looked in you could see a delicate rose laying at the bottom of your locker next to your books, the same one the school had been selling to students

carefully, you picked it up to examine the red flower closer,, it was beautiful, to say the least

it almost looked perfect you were shocked to see it being preserved this well

“at this rate its gonna be like that forever-”

beT you wacked his arm as he gave out a small laugh and raised his hands in surrender

“im kidding~ anyway, who’s it from?” 

you looked deeper into your locker, maybe this person left a note or something,,, who knows

“um it doesn’t say...” you said, still confused, as you close the door to your locker

“uuuu y/nnnnn~ looks like someones pining over youuuu” h a its me

you quickly shook your head and shrugged it off as jisung went on about how good this was for you

ok so maybe you’re kinda dying on the inside and you’re trying really hard not to say anything but this is kinda sweet and adorable and omg you dont even know who this kid is but they’re already doing things to you and your heart<(｀^´)>

‘GETTING ROSES FROM STRANGERS DOESNT MATTER’ YEAH OK SURE LOOK AT YOU NOW 

“sungie a flower can mean a lot of different things” you argued

“but on valentines day?? of all days?? come on y/n,, red one's represent love you know”

“yeah yeah whatever,” you said as you continued walking towards your next, soon arrivng and heading for the back of the classroom where you took a seat in your usual spot

“hey how do you think they got into your locker?” jisung questioned as he plopped his bag on the floor and sat in the seat next to you

oh shit he’s right how- huh- how did they get in cREEPY

“maybe they have access to the master key,,, um student council?”

“jisung why would the student council have access to the master key?”

jisung scratched the back of his head and shrugged his shoulders

“i dont know maybe they stole it~” he wiggled his eyebrows and gave you a smirk before pulling out 

“oh shut up, they probably know seungmin or something- who’s mom is literally the principle” 

the teacher had then started the class and for the first time in a while you found yourself distracted, you couldnt focus on anything the teacher was saying and your notebook remained empty by the end of the period

i mean like

the fact that someone went to all that trouble just to give you that,, i mean couldnt they have done it another time?? i mean you’re not complaining at all,, but you dont want to make someone go out of your way to do that (╯︵╰,)

“y/n its time to go, come on” snapping out of your daze you see jisung and everyone else packing up to leave “wow first time i’ve seen you distracted about anything”

iTS NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR HEART IS GOING bBoM BOM BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID PLANT OK ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ

“n-no there was just nothing note worth today”

“uh huh sure”

the rest of the day passed as normal, you only had one more class before you headed home and all you were doing was working with your project partner, jeongin, to finish a presentation, which was due next week

when you got home you found a small vase from a cupboard in the kitchen and filled it with water before placing the pretty flower in it,, unsure of what else to do with it but put it on your desk

the next day went the same as always, you went to class, jisung annoyed you to a point where you felt like hitting him, but you gave up and helped him with his math work and you read in the library during lunch

nothing new

you met jisung at your locker once again after lunch and you could clearly see the sweat laced across his forehead and his heavy breaths indicated that he was probably outside playing basketball with hyunjin or something

“what’s your bet i can cheat on this history test”

“can i bet negative”

“wow o ye, of little faith,, come on believe in me”

rolling your eyes you opened your locker once again to grab a book, which you were instead met with what looks like another rose?

but its not valentines day??

“y/n there's no denying it now”

this time the fragile blossom was more of a lavender shade

“oh hey cool it’s a different color,” jisung said as he peered over shoulder “that means its got a different meaning”

“hey maybe you’ll ace a botany quiz instead of this history one, yeah?”

“haha very funny”

and that was that,,, you left it in your locker and took it home and placed it gently in the vase with the other flower, not giving it much thought other than that

still you were kinda curious

over the weekend you almost forgot about it, but your mind still drifted to the origin and the person who bought the flowers that continued to sit at your desk

you didnt know how to feel honestly, you had no clue who this person was yet they still make your insides all squishy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) uWU

on monday, you thought that this whole thing would have passed and that you would never get to find out who your rose giver was

yet when you opened your locker yet again after lunch, with a wild jisung peeking over your shoulder again, there they were again

but this time there was wayy more than just a single flower

a bouquet of thirteen different colored roses, all identical and just utterly gorgeous

“you know i once read something about the number of roses given to you...although i’ve forgotten about it now” jisung whispered, causing you to jump back in surprise

turning to your friend you gave him a glare before closing your locker once again

“oh come on arent you curious who it is??”

“no”

“yeah right y/n i can tell you do”

“i do not,, because whoever it is shouldnt waste their time or money on me”

jisung laughed and swung his arm around your shoulder, “ok y/n whatever you say”

for the rest of the week this person continued to fill your locker with all sorts of colors and combinations of roses

and day after day the number seemed to get smaller, tuesday it was twelve, wednesday there were ten, on thursday it suddenly dropped down to two, and finally back to only one on friday

but something was different this time

there was actually a note

“meet me by the orchid tree after school? um only if you want to...”

even in their notes they sounded adorable you couldnt just not go,, and you would be lying if you were to say you weren’t at all curious

jisung continued teasing you throughout the entire week, offering to find out who it was if really necessary and ended up just continuously guessing who it could be when you said no

“awww look at my y/n,, growing up and getting into relationships~” jisung cooed as you put the rest of your notebooks into your bag and pulled out the single rose from this afternoon, as well as the note that came with it

you were actually quite nervous, to say the least, i mean,, you’ve never had any experience with romance and you didnt know what you were even going to say

throughout the afternoon you had kept fidgeting with your fingers and hair out of nerves, and when it finally came to leave for the day your hands were clammy and you just felt so...jittery

jisung pat your back and pushed you out the front doors and into the small courtyard, motioning towards the old orchid tree that sat at the other end of the field

“ok if you’re not back in five minutes im going home and assuming you’ve got a date,” he said giving you a wink before pulling out his headphones from his bag

‘go!’ jisung mouthed before he sat down on a bench near the front doors,, leaving you completely vulnerable on your own

breath. take a couple steps. breath. take a few more. just keep breathing and maybe the nerves will calm you down,, you thought as you made your way across the grass towards the tree

in the distance you could see a boy sitting under it, black hair covering his head and such bright red roses in his hands you could see them from all the way over here

as you reached closer you were able to make out the face of your admirer

“jeongin?” you asked, an unknowing relief sound filling your voice

standing up quickly, red across his cheeks, jeongin gave you a small smile before looking back down at the ground

“are you disappointed?” he asked, you could hear the nerves tint his sentence,, he went through all this trouble because he just has no other clue hOW TO TALK TOO SOMEONE SO AMAZING AS YOU OK HES SCARED OF REJECTION HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

“um, surprisingly?” you took a couple more steps towards him, only a couple of inches separated the two of you now

“not really” you said before quickly pecking his cheek, causing jeongin’s entire face to go red 

you quickly hid in your hands and shook your head,, trying not to squeal or do anything more stupid than you just did

“a-ah im sorry!” 

you heard a small giggle come from in front of you,, opening your eyes you saw jeongin holding six pure crimson red roses out in front of him

“im glad~” he said as you took the small bouquet from his hands

“wanna go see a movie or something?” jeongin offered, hope glittering his eyes you couldnt help but grin

“of course i would”

-

bonus ;

“hey you dyed your hair again.” you said to jeongin, carefully reaching your hand out to touch it

“uh yeah...do you like it?”

“i love it black baby,” taking his hand in yours you gave him a smile “you look really good.” 

[chowtrolls]

Why wouldn’t Bru and Toresce speak again?

oh boy! Long post ahead! Also this is so jumbled i just wrote a 7 page paper so im not organizing this.

TL;DR: They got into a very heated argument where Bruuno was trying to complain about the shitty things happening to him (as one does w/ a quad mate), and Toresce made fun of him, so he blew up. There’s a lotta issues and shit, below there is mentions of abuse, alcohol, self harm, and suicide.

Like he expected it to happen but not to the extent in which it did. He expected a little sympathy. So:

Toresce got angry and was basically like “oh boo fucking hoo poor bruuno who has a mate and moirails and people who love him, everything sucks for the dude whose life is so perfect” (Important context: Toresce had a meltdown and Bruuno was there for him, helped him, and then this happened and Toresce didn’t so Bruuno felt EXTRA betrayed) and bruuno snapped because he was completely sober in that moment. When he’s sober he tends to get angry very easily which is why he drinks as much as he does. Its an adhd thing. But Bruuno snapped, like, was not thinking straight. Said some stuff he shouldnt have, sorta begged Toresce to kill him for a moment then called him a coward when he didn’t, then had to be literally thrown out because he would have tried something stupider than begging the man who hates him to kill him. And, At the moment in the storyline, Bruuno is AWOL ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Kinda glad I haven’t gotten any asks for him since his muse is still incredibly pissed off. He is very prone to saying something he doesn’t mean when he’s angry. We weren’t sure if we were going to keep this canon but I feel like its an important development in their relationship.

It is kind of important to also note that this is similar to what Bubble would do if Bruuno had any issues. Downplaying his suffering, saying he has nothing to be upset about, it’s what caused him to start bottling things up in the first place. So to tell someone he thought was better than Bubble only for them to act like Bubble was a huge shock, could even go so far as to say it was a trigger. That’s not even something he can explain to Toresce. He can’t tell Toresce “Hey dont do that, my ex did that” because Toresce will just make fun of him, dismiss him again, or so Bruuno believes. 

For a bit I thought Bruuno would apologize but the more time has passed, the more I know he’s not going to. He probably won’t speak to Toresce until either A. Chow makes him or B. Toresce apologizes first. Toresce just massively confuses him, he doesn’t get The guy. He tried to care, then that was too much. He stopped caring, then that wasn’t good either. He cared again when Toresce had issues, then that was okay??? Sorta?  Then He asks for care back, and that isn’t okay, so he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know what happy medium Toresce wants. So I think he’s given up.

He’s tired. Not a lot of Positive things has happened for him recently. His muse has gotten progressively worse and worse, I know he’s getting depressed. I can tell he is giving up. I’ve been frantically trying to think of something good that can happen to him to lift his spirits. He’s heading in a bad direction. He has no coping skills anymore, he is convinced now that he can’t tell anyone what’s bothering him, he can’t be around Shiloh atm (for other reasons) so there’s extra guilt on top of all that. He’s having a really rough time.

I’m not about to do anything w/o consulting any of the muns who are active in his life (Like his moirails or his mate), but it IS in Bruuno’s nature to run away and hide so in the moment he is avoiding being seen, probably hasn’t gone to his hive, probably only talking to his moirails. He doesnt talk to Pictor a whole bunch so that isn’t too much of an issue for him, theyre really busy. He also doesn’t like to tell people about his issues, he absolutely hates anyone thinking he could have an issue. Not because he thinks he’s perfect but because that makes him less capable to care for other’s. He admitted to someone how he actually felt, someone who is his rival so it was kind of humiliating, and having that kind of response just killed a piece of him. When I think too much about him i can feel how ruffled his feathers are, how bad everything feels. But this is a new situation: He can’t run off and do what he usually did to cope (which was sleeping around as a form of self harm, drinking, or (recently) tussling with a kismesis), he can’t drink himself sick, he can’t complain to anyone he actually loves because Obviously they’ll use it against him or do the same thing because Clearly Bubble Toresce is right (/s).

He’s having a very rough time at the moment. I honestly have not felt him be so low in a very long time. He was doing really, really good for a while, and things started to crumble and now the wall has shattered and he’s left with a bunch of dust. He’s not doing a very good job of piecing himself back together and I am eagerly trying to find something that can help because I’m not sure he’s going to want to open up to anyone anymore.

Do I feel bad? Kinda. But I’ve been there, I know what he’s going through, I’ll get him out of it one way or another. He’ll be okay. If Toresce ever apologizes, they’ll be okay. He won’t be back to perfect but he’ll be better. I think he will -eventually- tell a moirail what happened. I think he will -eventually- get better help. MegaDad and Leo are trying (Because currently Bruuno is hiding in Leo’s hive.)

He’ll be okay.

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [16] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“I can’t speak to her.” Roger’s got his head on a bar in a pub that’s not Ash’s.

“Can I go back to pretending I don’t know what was going on?” Brian asks, taking a long sip of his drink and gazing out at the crowd. It’s been over a week since Ash had stayed over, and they hadn’t seen her since. It’s not like she’d even asked about him, or made a move to contact him; sometimes they go a full fortnight before seeing one another, but Roger’s been fretting for almost eight days internally, and for the past twenty minutes externally, since he’d finished his first drink.

“She said she loves me.” Roger groaned, lifting his head to weakly order another pint. 

“From what you’ve told me, she wasn’t even fully conscious; it’s not like it counts.” Brian had never seen Roger downright distressed like this, it would be funny if it wasn’t bordering on annoying.

“No, that means she was extra honest,” Roger groaned, downing half his beer in on go, to which Brian could only roll his eyes.

“Or she was still asleep and thought you were Jack Nicholson.” After a beat, Brian goes back to watching Roger brood over his glass. “Boo hoo, Rog,” he shoved the blonde lightly, to which Roger just leveled a glare at him, “a girl you’ve been seeing for months maybe has feelings for you. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

“It’s only been since I broke up with Kristin,” he’s adamant about that and Brian lets him have it, for now. In retrospect, he feels like an idiot for not seeing it sooner; Brian’s not sure when it started, but it’s definitely a lot longer than Roger’s willing to admit. “And it doesn’t mean nothing, but it also... it’s never meant something. Like it’s something but it’s not something. It’s just fucking around and having fun.” And Roger swivels on the bar stool, joining Brian in looking out over the crowd, before they spot Freddie crashing through the door, making a beeline for them once he’d spotted them.

“Alright, what did I miss?” Freddie asked, though the other two were quiet as he ordered a beer. Before either could get a word in edgewise, Freddie props his chin on his hand on the bar, and announces; “Roger you look like shit, what’s wrong?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s in love with Ash, and he thinks she’s in love with him.” Brian says blithely, and Freddie nods with understanding as Roger tells them to both sod off, and he stalks through to join the crowd on the dance floor. “She said she loved him in her sleep.” Brian explains, taking the chair Roger just freed, sliding into place beside Freddie.

“I’ve never seen him this worked up about someone before.” Freddie admitted, and Brian nodded in agreement, the two of them barely able to see his blonde hair for the crowd, and they lost sight of him soon enough.

“What do you think? Has Ash said anything?” Brian’s gaze slides to Freddie’s who just rolls his eyes.

“I think my dear Ash has never in her life loved a man who’s deserved it,” Freddie mused, though his lips twisted into a smirk, “that’s not to say she’s a saint, far from it, but compared to the others, Roger is a breath of fresh air.” 

“Isn’t that a sad thought.” Brian said faintly, before heaving a sigh. “Well, I know we haven’t been here long,” he got to his feet, finishing off his drink and looking around for his housemate, “but if I don’t drag him home he’s going to do something stupid in his current state.”

“Like that pretty, brunette thing over there?” Freddie asks, pointing to where Roger’s already got his lips on a wavy-haired brunette at the side of the room. Freddie’s pretty sure he sees Brian’s soul leave his body for a moment, and watches everything play out like a terrible Shakespearean comedy for which he was the only audience member.

“He’s a danger to himself.” Brian takes Freddie’s drink from his hands and takes a long gulp before passing it back, though Freddie doesn’t seem likely to complain.

“He seems rather fine,” Freddie watches Roger go in for a hickey on the girl with a morbid, voyeuristic interest, taking another sip of his drink, “and you know he and Ash aren’t technically exclusive.” 

“Yeah but there’s three options here; Ash finds out and gets pissed and I have to hear about it because apparently now that I know I’m all in on this disaster,” Brian lists on his fingers with a theatricality Freddie had rarely seen from him before, though he’d rarely seen Brian this exasperated before, so perhaps it was merely that, “two, Ash isn’t pissed, sleeps with someone else, and Roger gets pissed because he’s in love with her-”

“Which is unfair, what a tremendous double standard.”

“Yes, we all know Roger’s a hypocrite.” Brian sighed, casting a glance over his shoulder at Roger, before turning back to Freddie.

“And three?” The other man prompted, and Brian picked up his empty pint glass.

“I kill him with this glass because I’m sick of his sulking.” He says bluntly, and Freddie’s all for the third option, but he begrudgingly helps pull Roger away, to which the drummer complains the whole time.

“Where are we going?” Roger demands to know when they head in the opposite direction of his apartment, a sentiment that Brian mirrors, though he doesn’t seem inclined to question Freddie’s direction outright. Freddie always had a plan. The man in question wrapped an arm around Roger’s shoulders.

“You’re going to confront your problems, Rog.” He sounds so decisive, as if it wasn’t a plan he’d come up with as they were leaving the bar, and Roger tries to scramble his way out of it, but Brian’s fed up enough with Roger’s complete inability to do anything but run from his problems that he’s willing to take Roger’s arm in an almost iron grip.

“It’ll do both of us a world of good.” Brian tells him as Roger glowers at his housemate.

“You don’t get to decide what’s good for me; what’s good for me was that girl at the bar, she smelled nice and was about three minutes away from banging me in that bathroom.” Roger snarled, wrenching himself out of their grips, though he didn’t run this time, crossing his arms over his chest as he walked with them.

“Rog, we’re not gonna let you ruin a good-” But Brian’s gentle sigh was cut off by more of the blonde blustering.

“That’s so presumptuous!” He stopped in his tracks, scowling between both of his band-mates. “You’re both wankers, selfish fucking wankers. This is kidnapping.” He snaps.

“Fine; if you want to leave, we’re not stopping you.” Freddie offers, gesturing freely at the path behind them. “We’re just trying to help.” 

Roger stomped the entire walk to Ash’s apartment. 

“What the fuck, guys.” She opens the door with her hair in a messy bun, wearing a pair of sweat pants and a ratty, oversized Beatles shirt. “How did you get in?” 

“Your RA let us in; sorry for the interruption, just had to deliver this idiot.” Brian gave Roger’s shoulder a nudge. Roger is looking at anything but Ash. His latest drink had hit him about the same time as he got to her block, and now that he can smell the vanilla candle she likes to burn in her room just beyond her, he just wants to curl up and go to sleep under her duvet. Or fuck her. He’s not quite sure.

“Can I return to sender?” She asks without hesitation, and Roger rolls his eyes. Freddie shoves him forward.

“No.” 

Ash doesn’t move, just frowns as Roger stumbles into her space, and she’s automatically got a hand on his chest to steady him. Roger doesn’t seem like he’s there completely of his own free will, but he doesn’t move away from her, even as both Brian and Freddie leave, muttering something about him being ‘her problem now’.

“Care to explain?” She asked, gently walking him backwards and closing her door behind herself. The two of them make their way to the common area, and Roger sits up on the kitchen counter as Ash pours him a glass of water.

“Not really.” He said, sipping the water loudly and swinging his legs so his heels kick the cupboards below. Ash looks like the very sight of him exhausts her, but she rests her hands on her thighs, pressing herself against his legs to still them. “We can fuck whoever we want, Ash.” He says, seriously, and he sees the exact moment she realised the reason for his forced meeting, and he watched her expression fall.

“Yeah of course.” She agrees, crestfallen expression turning quickly to faux apathy. “Did you have fun?” But her heart wasn’t in it.

“They pulled me away, brought me here before anything really happened.” He huffed, taking another long sip. Ash stepped away, yawning loudly and sinking into a chair at the dining table. After a beat, Roger hums thoughtfully. “Ash, what do I mean to you?” And it’s so nonchalant it actually hurts Ash a little.

“I think that’s a really shitty thing to ask right now.” Her answer is automatic, she can’t look at him. “And I think you’re drunk.” 

“Ash...” It does register in his mind that he’s said the wrong thing, and it breaks his heart to see her too tired to repress her emotions like she usually would in this situation. Perhaps she assumes he won’t even remember this tomorrow. “Ash, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yeah, I know.” She says softly. “You’re always sorry, and I’m always sorry, and there’s always someone else that feels like a mistake, even though we don’t technically need to apologise.” Shaking her head, she sighs deeply. “This isn’t the time for this conversation.” She admits, and standing, she takes his hand. “Come to bed, Rog.” 

When they’re back in her room, she pulls off her sweat pants and offers them to him without even thinking about it, and he’s quiet, forlorn when he takes them, changing into the borrowed pyjamas. Ash is already tucked into bed when he turns back, back to him, pressed as close to the wall as she can get with her head pillowed on her hand, not even attempting to co-opt some of the pillow for herself. There’s sewing equipment out, obviously still in use in the corner of her room, a blouse half sewn and still in the machine where it was left when it’s creation had been interrupted by a knock at the door.

When he slides into bed beside her, reaches out to rest a hand on her shoulder - an apology? a reassurance? just a need for human contact? - she shrugs him off, murmurs a quiet ‘don’t’. 

“I panicked.” They’re back to back, and the bedside lamp has been turned off. Roger isn’t even sure if Ash is still awake. He speaks into the silence, made honest by the hour and his inebriation. “You told me you loved me and I panicked.”

“Roger... I never said that.” Ash’s voice was confused in the darkness, and Roger feels like his whole world has fallen out from under him. He’s spent over a week considering whether or not she’d remember; if it had been real, whether she’d really meant it, but he’s never quite sure which answer would hurt more.

“You... were mostly asleep.” He admits, and he can feel the way Ash sighs heavily, the shift of her back against his as she tries not to hear it.

“Wow, imagine what kinky shit you and the girl from the bar would have gotten up to if I’d meant it.” She just sounds tired, as though she was trying to end the conversation, as though she hadn’t just shattered Roger’s heart. After a beat, she laughed humorlessly. “What are we doing, Roger?”

“I think Brian’s right.” And his words are enough to startle a weak laugh from Ash. “I want this to be about more than sex, I think.”

“You’re drunk and panicking; don’t worry, I’ll still work with the band if this goes south.” Ash says. Roger won’t take that, can’t let himself fall into the trap of panicking like he’d already fallen into that night. Turning, Roger presses his lips to the back of her neck, and Ash doesn’t like to think about how good it makes her feel.

“I’m sorry-” He tries, but she cuts him off.

“I heard you the first time.” Voice terse, she crosses her arms awkwardly over her chest. “Roger the idea of being with you fucking terrifies me.” She admits, raw and honest, glad he can’t see how conflicted she was. “You were so worried that I was in love with you that you almost slept with someone else, and for what? Were you worried you were losing control of your life? Didn’t want to be tied down?” Roger’s got an arm on her shoulder, rubbing comfortingly as she speaks, and he can feel her shaking.

“I know I’m not a saint, okay, love?” Roger admits, and Ash takes a long moment to consider his words, leaning back a little into his touch, before answering.

“Neither of us are, Roger, and that’s why what we have is so good right now.” Her voice has softened, and Roger stays quiet. “We can talk about it tomorrow.” She says gently, before reaching to link her fingers with his where he’s got his hand on her shoulder. She pulls him closer, and Roger makes a low hum, pressing a quick kiss to her shoulder.

When the morning comes, things are quiet and golden. Neither one knows what to say to the other, but Ash still gets him a cup of tea in the morning, and when he sees the cup with the little cat face on it, Roger feels something tighten in his chest. 

“Let’s try this, please.” He asks, expression sincere when he looks at where Ash is tucking herself back into bed, pressing herself against his side. The look she gives him is confused, and then it blooms into something hopeful. “I’m not fucking around here, I mean it.”

When she kisses him, her hand is warm where it had been holding her teacup, and she’s smiling against her lips. There’s a tension in her shoulders, and he can’t stop playing her words back over again in his head, ‘the idea of being with you fucking terrifies me’ and it’s clear that feeling hasn’t vanished over night.

But she’s willing to try.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues @banhbao329@fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu @perriwiinkle @the-strange-fan-girl @finite-incantatem-7 @tapetayloe @florencewelchmybiggod

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN