#m2mtf

[atomicwedgienerd]

The school’s wrestling team was great. It’s math team? Less so. So the head of the math program dosed the wrestling team’s water cooler with some mind enhancing drugs. They won’t be winning any wrestling championships any more but they’re definitely bringing home a math trophy.

It’s time to give up sports and put on your glasses. Join us at the nerdification discord.

[atomicwedgienerd]

Goodbye Chad

Chad was, to put it plainly, an asshole. Just because he was quarterback and could have his pick of the cheerleaders, he thought it made him better than everyone else, especially all the nerds. He used to beat them all up and make him do his homework while he went out and partied all weekend. While they slaved away over his assignments, Chad would send them pictures of himself having fun out on the town just to remind them how much cooler he was than them.

Eventually the nerds had had enough. It was time to get revenge. With a little bit of genetic research, they figured out how to distill their nerdiness down its essence and drain it from themselves. Once they had their collected nerdiness, they slipped the essence into his preworkout supplements and laughed while he drank it all down.

Needless to say, things changed after all that. The nerds became cool and well, Chad became nerdier than all of them combined. Soon he was the laughing stock of the whole town. People would mock him wherever he would go. His old friends would stop and wedgie him and he was so nerdy, he would thank them for it. And best of all, all the nerds he had bullied now got to go out partying every Saturday night while Chad stayed home and did their homework. And just to make sure, his former victims made him to text them pictures of himself all alone on the weekends, not a friend in site. He wasn’t even Chad anymore. Now, he went by Ronald Ferguson Dingleberg.

You too could go from Chad to Ronald. Just join the nerdified discord and get your geek on!

[atomicwedgienerd]

It’s time to become a nerd.

Becoming a total geek is the next big kink. If it’s a kink you’re into, you’re not alone. Join the nerdification discord and start nerdifying. 18+ only.

[atomicwedgienerd]

Boyfriend Twins No Longer

Derek was furious. Last night had been his 21st birthday and what should have been a blast had been ruined by all the jerks at that gay bar. “Boyfriend twins!” The taunt rung through his mind. Nobody had ever made fun of him and Arjun before! They didn’t even look that similar. After all, Derek might be tan but he could never be compared to Arjun. Sure they had both been wearing Abercrombie shirts and khakis in nearly the same hue, but lots of people dressed like that! And besides, Derek though their matching sneakers were cute. And yet, when they walked into that one queer bar in town, the hipsters all turned to them and immediately started laughing. The door guy asked if they were clones and the bartender asked if there was a 2-for-1 special at the Abercrombie shop. Like they were so cool just because they had piercings and tattoos! That didn’t make them unique! There were plenty of hipster “boyfriend twins” in that bar and nobody gave them any guff! Regardless, Derek couldn’t stop fixating on it. He hated being criticized by other gays after a lifetime of being mocked by straight people for being different. He glanced over at Arjun as he snoozed, admiring his butt in the matching pair of Andrew Christian briefs that they had actually bought in a 2-for-1 sale. Well damn, thought Derek, maybe we are a little similar. “Are you ok, hun?” Arjun asked, stirring from his sleep. Derek sighed and turned away. “You can’t be upset about the boyfriend twins thing, can you?” Derek harumphed and turned to his lover, unaware that the mystical forces that grant birthday wishes had decided to pay attention to Derek this year. “I just wish we weren’t so similar!” Derek said angrily. A lighting bolt cracked across the sky, scaring both of the boyfriends. “You’re being dramatic,” Arjun sighed as he got up from the bed. “Let me make you some coffee and we can do something fun for your birthday. Arjun headed out to the kitchen, his ass looking great in the jockstrap he was wearing. Wait, that wasn’t right, thought Derek. They had the same pair of underpants! “Arjun!” Derek cried. “What’s up with that jockstrap!?” “Uh duh, it’s what I always wear, bro,” Arjun yelled back from the kitchen. That didn’t seem right to Derek. He looked down at his own lap and noticed that he was now wearing a pair of plain Hanes tighty-whiteys. That definitely wasn’t right. He sat up and leaned over the edge of the bed but something else was wrong. His feet didn’t reach the floor anymore. Derek panicked and stood up. He looked in the mirror and something was off. Where they had both been a solid 5’11” before, Derek couldn’t be more than 5’8” now and he was looking leaner than usual. There was something weird going on with his hair but Derek couldn’t really discern it in the mirror. He grabbed his pair of thick black framed glasses from the end table and threw them on. His hair was paler, more red, than before and seemed to be stuck in a weird center part. This was not the haircut he had gotten a week ago. And wait a minute! Derek didn’t need glasses! He threw them off and the world turned into a total blur. Derek started to panic, breathing heavily and starting to hyperventilate. Arjun reentered the room, or at least Derek thought the blurry shape was Arjun—it seemed taller—and handed Derek a glass of skim milk. “What’s this?” Derek whined, his voice noticeably higher pitched. “Where is my coffee?” “You can’t drink coffee, bro,” Arjun laughed, his voice noticeably deeper. “You’re spastic enough as it is.” Arjun took a deep sip of his coffee. “Give me a sip of your coffee then!” Derek whined. Arjun laughed. “You need to put on your glasses dude.” Derek did as he was told and was shocked as the world came into focus. The Arjun in front of him was different. He was taller for one, at least 6’2” now, and substantially more muscular than he had been before. Whereas Arjun had always been clean shaven, he was now sporting a decent five o’clock shadow. Derek rubbed his face; it was now smooth where before he had been sporting the beginnings of a beard. And then Derek noticed Arjun wasn’t drinking coffee at all. He had a protein shake. “Something isn’t right!” Derek wheezed. Arjun rolled his eyes and handed him an inhaler. “You need to calm down bro. And use your inhaler. You know you’re not supposed to get excited. It’s time for us to get dressed and head to campus anyways.” “But it’s my birthday!” Derek complained, taking three short puffs of the inhaler. “So who cares!?” Arjun laughed. “Get out of my room and go get dressed!” Arjun’s room!? But they had shared a room for six months. Regardless, Derek felt too timid to argue and he shuffled meekly out of the room. Derek headed down the hallway and then noticed his backpack peeking out from their study. He opened the door and was shocked at what he saw. It wasn’t a study any more. It had turned into a bedroom. In the center was a twin sized bed with Pokemon sheets. The walls were decorated with anime posters and cardboard cut outs of Lord of the Rings figures. There was an entire shelf of trophies from Math League, Chess Club, the 24-Hour Coding Challenge, Klingon Karaoke. Whoever had this room was a total dork! And that’s when Derek saw it. A framed picture on the wall of a total dork with Patrick Stewart at a comic convention. The guy looked familiar even though he was wearing thick glasses and the nerdiest clothes Derek had ever seen. He looked closer and gasped. It was HIM. But this wasn’t right! This room belonged to a total dork and Derek wasn’t a geek! He barely even used his computer. And yet this room had a massive desk with multiple computers on them, running World of Warcraft! Derek looked at the picture again and shook his head. This couldn’t be right. He would never dress like this! And yet when Derek opened the closet. all the clothes matched those in the pictures. Plaid button downs, cheap pleated dress slacks, shiny leather shoes. None of it seemed right. “Hurry the fuck up and get dressed!” Arjun yelled from out in the hall. Derek had never heard him yell like that before. That wasn’t the Arjun he knew but something made Derek quiver. He did not want to make Arjun mad! He sighed and started getting dressed. He buttoned up the button down all the way to the top and felt compelled to add a too short black tie. He put on a pair of clashing brown slacks that stopped a couple of inches above his ankle and couldn’t stop himself from attaching a pair of red suspenders that yanked the waist of the pants up above his belly button. All of Derek’s socks were white crew socks now and they clashed with his black patent leather shoes but he could hear Arjun getting impatient so he threw them on in resignation. He was scared to make Arjun mad; something he had never felt before. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He looked like a total dork! He had definitely shrunk too! There was no way he was over 5’2” now. “HURRY UP DWEEB!” Arjun boomed from the living room. Derek grabbed his backpack and meekly shuffled out, his confidence totally eradicated. He gasped when he saw his boyfriend. Arjun towered over him now, standing at a solid 6’6”. Where he had been slightly muscled before, he was now a total meathead, weighing in at 300 lbs of pure muscle. The five o’clock shadow he had moments before was now a beard of epic proportion that came down to mid chest and his hair was up in an unruly and super masculine bun. Arjun’s muscles were massive… unlike anything Derek had ever seen and they were on full display as Arjun was now wearing a muscle tank that said “Give Me Deadlifts or Give Me Death” on it. On his legs, he wore tight black sweats that showed off every bit of muscle in his thighs and his massive calved. His arms were now dotted with tattoos and an 8 gauge septum piercing adorned his nose while double zero gauges rested comfortably in his ears. “S-s-s-since when do you l-l-l-lift weights?” Derek said, now aware that he stuttered. “S-s-s-s-since fucking forever, braceface,” Arjun laughed. Braceface? Why would Arjun call him that? But Derek reached up and touched his mouth and knew the answer. Huge clunky orthodontics were now glued to his teeth and when he caught his reflection in the mirror, he sighed. “You sh-sh-shouldn’t talk to your own boyfriend like that,” Derek implored. This sent Arjun into a series of hearty chortles. “Boyfriend!?” he laughed. “I would never date a dweeb like you, fuckwad. The only reason we live together is that the college said I needed to get my grades up if I wanted to stay on the weightlifting team and well, you’re too much of a fucking pussy to stand up to me when I ask you to do my homework.” Derek tried to argue but found himself getting too nervous. I guess I am too much of a pussy, he thought. “You’re right, Arjun,” Derek complied. Arjun rolled his eyes. “How many times have I told you? It’s AJ, not Arjun. Only my mom calls me Arjun. Now let’s get going.” Arjun grabbed Derek by the waist of his tighty whiteys, effortlessly lifting him up in a painful wedgie and carried him out the door. As they walked to campus, Derek felt all eyes on them. People were swooning over Arjun—er—AJ and pointing and laughing at Derek the whole way. He couldn’t stand it! AJ and Derek couldn’t be more different. That’s when it hit Derek. The wish. HE HAD WISHED FOR THIS. “Th-th-this isn’t what I wanted,” Derek said meekly as they arrived on campus. “Well I didn’t want to have to spend time with the university’s least attractive virgin but here we are,” AJ said as he dumped a bunch of books in Derek’s hands. “I’m going to need all these papers written by Monday so I can stay on the team.” “B-b-b-but-“ “No buts, dork!” AJ yelled as he shoved him towards the library. Derek looked at AJ with tears in his eyes. They had been so close, so in love, and now this was their life. More muscular hunks walked up to AJ as they started heading off to the gym. Derek turned meekly and started shuffling towards the library, his spindly legs giving him an awkward gait. “Hey nerd!” AJ yelled after Derek. “You forgot your student ID!” He flung it at Derek and it hit him right in the forehead, causing a chorus of laughs from AJ’s weightlifting bros. Derek struggled to pick it up from the ground without dropping all his books and gasped at his ID. For a brief moment, it listed the correct information: “Derek Parker, English Comp” before shimmering for a moment and changing. Derek blinked his eyes and looked at it again through this thick coke-bottle glasses. “Derwin Pimpleberg, Computer Science,” he sighed. Derek—make that Derwin—had totally changed, and all because of this stupid birthday wish. He headed into the library wanting to cry. Luckily, Derwin found academic achievement easy, which was great because soon AJ was making him do not only his homework, but also all of AJ’s weightlifting bros’ homework. AJ and his boys would come around on Saturdays and get wasted before heading out leaving Derwin alone to play World of Warcraft all weekend. While AJ would bring home a different stud every night to fuck, Derwin was alone reading fantasy novels and writing World of Warcraft fanfiction. And the noise from AJ’s heavy fucking made Derwin sad. Before the change, Derek and Arjun had had plenty of sex, but Derwin—well that was a different story. He was a virgin and try as he might over the next few decades, no one ever wanted to have sex with him and he remained a virgin forever. Eventually, the now roommates graduated but AJ didn’t want to let Derwin go. Why would he? Derwin was too meek to fight with AJ and would clean up after him, make his protein shakes, and wash his dirty gym clothes for him. Besides, whereas AJ’s degree was useless, Derwin’s computer science degree was a cash cow and Derwin was making tons of money consulting. Of course, AJ had made Derwin sign over all of his bank accounts to him so AJ could focus on professional body building instead of working, meaning that Derwin still had to wear cheap dorky clothes and couldn’t really afford to go out, not that he had any friends he needed to see. A few year later, Derwin had to go to his high school reunion and AJ decided to tag along. All of Derek’s friends were shocked to see that their old buddy was now a total nerd stereotype that went by Derwin but they were all enamored with AJ and joined in on mocking, ridiculing, and beating up Derwin. As his former friends hoisted him up the flagpole so he had to just dangle there in an atomic wedgie, Derwin sighed. He had wished that he and AJ were different and well, it couldn't have come any more true. 

[atomicwedgienerd]

Are you still fantasizing about Dom/sub?

Why, when Bully/nerd is clearly what you want. Join us at the Nerdification discord, a supportive community to nerdification fetishists and the bullies that love to bully them. 18+ only.

[atomicwedgienerd]

From Naughty to Nice

Dirk pulled his motorcycle up to the Nine Knives biker bar and took a long drag on his cigarette. He got some angry glances from neighbors. Nobody in the neighborhood liked the biker bar but that wasn't Dirk's problem; it was theirs. He adjusted his leather jacket and entered the dingy bar. The only other person in there was Shawn, another hellraiser, who Dirk considered almost his equal in how tough he was. In the corner, someone had set up a Christmas tree. It looked completely out of place in the dirty biker bar. Underneath the tree were two immaculately wrapped presents.

"Yo Shawn," Dirk yelled. "Did you get us a fucking christmas tree?" Shawn glanced at the well decorated but out of place tree.

“Nah bro, got no idea where it came from.”

Dirk grabbed a beer and popped the cap off it using the edge of the pool table. He took a long slug and walked over to the Christmas tree. The presents underneath were clearly labeled "Shawn" and "Dirk" in elegant calligraphy.

"Yo dude, these gifts are for us. Get over here!"

Shawn walked over, a skeptical look on his face, as he drew a long swig from his longneck. But as he approached, and saw his name in that elegant gilded script, his look changed to one of incredulity.

“No freaking way,” Shawn said as he peered down at the gifts. “Hmmm, it doesn’t say who they’re from.”

"They’re from Santa, ya pussy," Dirk said with a laugh. He grabbed the present marked "Shawn" and shoved it in his friend's arms. "We might as well open them." Dirk grabbed his and shredded the wrapping paper carefully. Inside, was a small wooden box. He opened the lid and was sprayed in the face with red and green glitter.

"Dude, what the fuck?" he said, a little confused by how nasal it came out. Shawn had opened his gift with equal quickness and was hacking up a mouthful of the same green and red glitter.

“What the hell is this?” Shawn asked

"This is preposterous!" Dirk said, again confused by the nasal tone to his voice and the word choice. Inside the box was a letter. "You have been very naughty this year and Santa is displeased. These presents will ensure you remain on the "nice" list... forever!" Dirk glanced at the letter again to make sure he hadn't hallucinated when suddenly everything went out of focus. "I can't see!"

"Golly gee,” Shawn said, his voice rising an octave before stuttering out “Wh-wh-what do you think that means?" Shawn thought that maybe they’d been drugged, though It didn't feel like anything trip Shawn had ever experienced before.

Dirk instinctively reached for his sunglasses but when he grabbed them, they felt much heavier and looked... different. He threw them on and found the entire bar came into crisp view. Unfortunately, so did his reflection. He gasped when he saw himself. The lenses in his sunglasses had gotten much thicker and turned clear. He looked like a total four eyes with them on. "Golly gizmo what a headscratcher!" he said in his new goofy voice despite wanting to curse. With his new, crystal clear vision, he glanced at his friend, shocked by how he was changing.

Feeling a sense of vertigo, the room began to spin around Shawn, coming in an out of focus. His whole body felt weird as though it were being squeezed, his muscles ached and seemed to contract, growing weaker with each spasm. His skin crawled as though a thousand ants were walking across his body. He tried to see what was happening, but much to his chagrin everything close up seemed a blur. Then suddenly the room comes back into focus, and he felt a weight on his face. Reaching up, he felt the obstruction, and discover it to be extremely thick rimmed eyeglasses with huge lenses that magnified Shawn’s eyes.

Shawn was worried when the tingling reached his arms. He looked down shocked to see his muscles rapidly disappearing, replaced with a thin layer of flab, years of hard work stripped away. His once hirsute arms quickly thinned out, making his lack of muscle tone even more apparent. "Oh golly” he said, putting his hands over his mouth, only to make another discovery, His facial hair was gone, leaving nothing but baby smooth skin.

Dirk was shocked by his friend's lack of a beard until he rubbed his hands through his and it came out in thick clumps. He gasped, and then gasped again, and it quickly turned into a wheeze. He looked down at this pack of smokes and found they had changed into a bulky plastic cartridge. He picked it up and realized that they had become an asthma inhaler. But Dirk had never had asthma. He had always been a natural athlete. A tough guy. A real bully. He had won so many fights but then his memories of the fights began to change. Suddenly, Dirk remembered himself being on the receiving end of all this bullying. Getting punched, wedgied, knocked over, swirlied. He remembered being a timid child who grew up into an even more timid adult. He started to get faint, and pressed the asthma inhaler to his lips. The medicinal blast tasted familiar, like he'd done this thousands of times. He glanced at his hand as he took a puff and gasped again. All of his tattoos were gone. From his entire body! He took two more puffs from the inhaler as he felt himself starting to panic.

Looking at his friend Shawn was shocked by the changes he saw, but in the back of his mind new memories began to emerge, ones of a different life, a different person. Again the world seemed to swirl around him as he felt his mind being rewritten. At the same his body was being subjected to further changes. The squeezing feeling returned, but this time it was focused on his torso and legs. His abs melted away to be replaced with pudge. While his legs muscles disappeared and began to shorten. Dropping him from an impressive 6'3" to a smaller 5'5" As he shrunk the room seemed to grow more imposing. His confidence and bravado was slipping away to be replaced with timidity and shyness. No longer was he a star baseball player. Instead new memories surface of playing the clarinet and being captain of the robotics and computer club. No longer had he studied kinesiology, but instead mechanical engineering. Feeling another round of changes, Shawn watched as his nice tan faded to be replaced by pasty white. Followed by a sea of freckles that soon dotted his arms and face. "No, ple...please stop this." he pipes

Dirk’s confidence continued to drain away as he puffed on the inhaler and his hair became full of grease. His memories of Shaun started to change too. No longer had the two met smoking pot under the bleachers at school; oh no. The two of them had met at the inaugural computer building club meeting at school. Only the two of them had shown up and they became fast friends. Sure, the jocks at the school beat them up regularly but at least they had each other. As the new memories filled Dirk’s head, his leather jacket turned a bright yellow plaid and turned into an ill-fitting suit jacket. At the same time his jeans turned into khakis and rose and rose and rose up his torso until they were almost to his armpits. He didn’t think it was that weird; after all, his friend Shawn dressed the same way. 

As Shawn’s head became hazier and hazier, he too needed to take a puff from an inhaler that he pulled out of his pocket. The two friends wheezed loudly as their new reality took over. Memories of all the ladies that Shawn had banged and left in the cold disappeared as they were replaced with nights alone, or playing Magic the Gathering with Dirk, his only friend. The thought of even having sex made Shawn nervous and he took a few extra puffs from his inhaler. In fact, he kind of thought his friend Dirk was cute, even as pimples broke out all over his face. He was of course too shy to ever say anything about it. 

Dirk had a brief flash of his old life as a tough biker guy and started to panic. He ran to the window of the bar and glanced out the window, certain the sight of his Harley would change everything back but when he glanced out, he saw something different. Shawn’s motorcycle had been replaced with a beat up Volvo station wagon and, worse, Dirk’s had become a Walmart-bought Huffy bicycle that still had training wheels. That’s right, he had always had balance issues, he remembered. He turned to Shawn but tripped and immediately fell on his nose, which swelled to twice the size. Dirk glanced in the mirror at his thick glasses, dorky outfit, big nose, pimply skin, and greasy hair and found it impossible to remember any other life. He glanced at Shawn who was just as dorky and things felt wrong. His friend wasn’t named Shawn, no, his name was Sherman. Sherman Shrimpledink. And he wasn’t Dirk. He was Dilbert Dinglesquirt. 

Shawn, or was it Sherman, felt the room spin once more and suddenly all the pool tables, the bar stools, the neon lights, the beer, the road signs--everything that made it clear this was a biker bar--disappeared and were replaced with computers and computer parts, work tables, magnifying glasses, soldering irons, and cables as far as the eye could see. No longer was this the Nine Knives biker bar that the neighborhood loathed. It had become the Neato ‘n’ Nifty Computer Donation Center where Dilbert and Sherman worked long nights to fix computers and donate them to families in need. Everyone still made fun of them non-stop but the two dweebs worked tirelessly to make the community like them. They were still the laughing-stocks of the neighborhood, but at least people thought they were nice. 

“Golly jeepers,” Dilbert said to Sherman, “It’s almost 9pm. We should get back to our parents’ basements and get to bed.”

“You’re absolutely correct, my one and only pal,” Sherman said with a snort. “We don’t want Santa to pass us over, HYUK!”

The two dorks turned to leave, both tripping and falling over the feet and letting out a braying guffaw. On their way out, they glanced at the awards hanging on the wall from the local news station. Every year, they were put on the station’s “Nice List” for their contributions to the community. 

“Gadzooks,” Sherman said as they locked up, “I sure do love being so nice and well behaved.”

“Jiminy Christmas,” Dilbert said with a wink behind his extremely thick glasses, “Me too.”

Who knows how long tumblr will be around? Join us on the nerdification discord!

[atomicwedgienerd]

From Jock to Not

Ken peered out the window and saw his jock neighbor Frank tossing a ball around with the rest of the football team. For as long as he could remember, Frank had made fun of Ken for being bookish and made his life pretty miserable. He pointed the scanner out the window and was amazed when it pulled it up all of Frank's stats. Maybe he could teach Frank a lesson about what it was like to be bullied.

Frank had always made fun of Ken for being lanky and scrawny, so he figured he would start there. Ken fiddled with the height and weight slider so that he would make Frank a tall weakling. He clicked on "SUBMIT" to see what happens. A warning popped up. "Would you like reality to shift to accomodate changes?" Ken didn't want anyone to know what was happening--not just yet--so he clicked on no and watched the page refresh. It now listed Frank as being 6'7" but only 140 lbs. He looked out the window and watched as Frank got taller and lankier, losing most of his muscle mass. Of course, without reality shifting, none of his friends seemed to notice. "Oh this is going to be awesome," Ken said, elated that the device seemed to work. The next field was to describe Frank's fashion style and Ken went to town typing up the nerdiest attire he could think of. He pushed submit, ignoring the reality changing option again, and watched out the window to see the changes happen. First Frank's football jersey began to change, turning into a cotton plaid shirt as buttons formed down the front of it. Frank's shell necklace shimmered out of site and then returned as a beige tie that hung around Frank's neck. His gym shorts started to lengthen, almost reaching the ground but still leaving a good amount of ankle visible as the fabric changed to twill and the pants began to rise up Frank's body until the waistline sat comfortably above his belly button. A pair of black and red striped suspenders shimmered into view as they helped secure Frank's pants in the high waisted position. Ken couldn't believe his eyes as he saw an overstuffed pocket protector appear in Frank's shirt. This program really could create anything! Finally, Frank's Adidas cross trainers started getting shinier as they turned into patent leather saddle shoes and his no show black socks became white crew socks visible in the three inch gap where the hem of his dress slacks ended above his ankles. Ken burst out laughing. He couldn't believe it! Frank was a lanky looking geek who was dressed like a character out of Revenge of the Nerds but none of his friends even noticed. They just kept practicing their football drills in Frank's backyard like nothing had ever happened. A wicked smile crawled across Ken's face. Frank was dressed like a dork, but he still had that classic all American handsome face. It was time to change that for sure. He pulled up the tab for facial changes and got to work. Blonde hair? That wouldn't work. Maybe orange. Ooh and a greasy bowl cut for sure. Complexion: Clear skin and tan? Well Ken would have to do something about that. Vision: Perfect 20/20? Ken giggled. What kind of nerd didn't even wear glasses? Ken put a new prescription in. +15 in both eye would give him some real embarrassing fishbowl lenses. Ear size and nose size were arranged in sliders with Frank's both at a 0, representing a perfect size. Ken slid them both all the way up to 100. And when it got to Dental Traits: perfect white smile, Ken knew that wouldn't last and he got to work typing in a description of Frank's new less than perfect smile. Satisfied, he pushed submit and watched with bated breath. Frank's hair went first as it darkened and became an almost clownish orange hue as his hair became greasy and parted into a bowl cut that looked like it was done by his mom in the kitchen. Next Frank's skin grew pale as tons of zits and freckles erupted out of his formerly perfect skin. Next, a pair of thick black rimmed glasses appeared on Frank's face with the thickest fishbowl lenses Ken had ever seen. You could barely see Frank's eyes through the lenses. It just looked like he had two half-dollar sized pupils. Frank's ears and nose changed next to match Ken's specs. His ears nearly quadrupled in size, sticking out like saucers, and his nose grew bulky and bulbous, now dominating his face. Finally, Frank's teeth began to grow and stick out as heavy duty metal braces that were so clunky they looked like they were from the 80s formed over his teeth. Ken was beside himself. He had never imagined someone could actually look so nerdy and now his neighbor, Frank Steel the all-American football player, looked like the nerdiest person who had ever lived. And the fact that this absolute stereotype of geekiness was still just playing football with the jocks of his town was hilarious to Ken. He would have to use that change reality option soon. Ken was amazed but not satisfied. After all, looking like a nerd was only one part of the humiliation. It was time to give Frank the personality to match. Ken pulled up the personality traits tab and got to work. He slid Ken's confidence and coordination down from 100 to 0. He went into his hobbies section and deleted all the things that were listed there: Football, partying, dating, muscle cars, working out. None of that would do so Ken typed in some new options: Dungeons and Dragons, anime, fantasy novels, studying fantasy languages, Magic the Gathering, Warhammer, coding, LARPing, going to bed early, collecting action figures, playing the accordion; if it was a stereotypically nerdy activity, Ken put it into Frank's hobbies section. He pushed the submit button and when the reality changing option popped up, this time he pushed yes. Ken was ready to see what happened. It would be difficult to tell if Frank's hobbies had changed, but it was immediately apparent that his confidence and coordination were gone. He hunched over, his posture seeming shy and as his friend tossed the football at him, Ken saw it change into a textbook and smack Frank right in the nose, cracking his glasses in half. The look on Frank's friends had gone from one of friendly competition, to absolute disgust and disregard. Frank dropped to his knees as he tried to find the two halves of his glasses as Frank's former friends dumped a bunch of textbooks and backpacks on the lawn. Based on how much they were laughing, Ken realized they were dropping off their homework for Frank to do. He had gone from being their best friend to the geek they pawned off all their schoolwork onto with just a few clicks of a button. Frank had just barely found his glasses and was taping them back together when his former friends lifted him up and hung him by his tighty whiteys from the doorknob of his front door. They laughed and headed off down the street, totally unaware that moments before, Frank had been one of them. Ken was beside himself with laughter as he watched Frank struggle to get himself out of the immobilizing wedgie but after about 15 minutes of watching him fail to free himself, Ken figured it was time to go and enjoy the effects of the Chronivac up close. As he walked over to Frank's front door, he saw his now supernerdy neighbor squinting before recognizing that it was Ken. "Golly j-j-j-jeepers," Frank stuttered shyly. "It's my neighbor Ken! Can you h-h-h-help me off this d-d-d-doorknob?" "I would do anything for my neighbor the amazing Frank Steel," Ken smirked as he helped him off the doorknob. Frank recoiled meekly. "Golly gee whiz, Ken, after all th-th-th-these years of living n-n-n-next to each other, you d-d-d-don't even know my name! It's not Frank Steel. It's Melvin Finklefart." It took all of Ken's self control to not burst into laughter right then. Melvin Finklefart was such a geeky name. Frank's must have changed when the reality shift had occurred. He grinned at Ken, his crooked teeth and braces a sight for sore eyes. "What c-c-c-can I do for you?" Melvin Finklefart asked, pushing the taped bridge of his glasses back up his pimply, massive nose. Ken just grinned. After everything the former Frank had done to him, there was plenty he owed him, and Ken would relish in taking his revenge.

[atomicwedgienerd]

The Last Avengers

After defeating the rest of the Avengers, Thanos leaned back and admired his handiwork. The earth was in shambles and no one could stop him. Almost no one that is. Suddenly, Captain America and the Winter Soldier burst in. Thanos grins.

"Captain America. The first Avenger and the last Avenger. To what do I owe this honor?"

“To take you down, even if it means that on my last breath.” He huffed out, staring dead right at Thanos as he started thinking quickly off a way to finish off the tyrant and with that, he jumped right up, his pointed shield aiming down at his head with Winter Soldier backing him up.

Thanos laughs and waves his infinity gauntlet at the two heros, freezing them in place. Their insolence meant that they deserved a fate worse than death. The room shimmers and suddenly they have disappeared from the ruins of Avengers Tower to a a suburban basement, lined with filthy musty carpeting, cheap wood paneling, and shelves and shelves of fantasy novels and action figures of Captain America's former allies

“What..what did he do?” Captain America muttered out as he unfroze along with his comrade. He looks around the crummy room he was sent to. “Looks like some kind of basement, Thanos must have done something..” Winter Soldier replied, grabbing one of the action figures as he studied them.

"This is your new home," Thanos laughed. "This is where the fallen Steve Rogers belongs." And with a wave of his gauntlet, Captain America and the Winter Soldier felt all the strength leave their bodies. Suddenly, Captain America's gut began to expand as The Winter Soldier felt his muscles shrink and wither away.

Suddenly, both of them blurred in front of each other, unable to see. Thanos laughed again and with a snap of his fingers, a pair of thick coke bottle aviator glasses appeared on Captain America's face as a pair of thick fishbowl black rimmed glasses held together with tape appeared on the Winter Soldier.

“Gah.. my eyes, I can’t see!” Captain America gasped out as he grabbed against his gut, feeling the pudginess settling in. “What’s happening!?” grunted the Winter Solider as a similar sensation encompassed him

"You are becoming the sort of people who worship superheroes," Thanos laughed, "BUT THE OPPOSITE OF HEROES." With another snap of Thanos’s fingers, Captain America's hardened pecs became massive flabby manboobs as his hairline suddenly receded. A patchy neckbeard formed on his now pimply face as Captain America's remaining hair grew down to his shoulders. Meanwhile, Bucky felt his teeth start to grow and until they stuck out, crooked and oversized. His hair grew shorter and shorter as it became an uneven home-done bowl cut and turned bright orange. The two heroes felt their confidence sapping.

“You... can’t do this!” Steve gasped out in vain as his muscular body was slowly withering away to a much more larger body with his man boobs straining on his iconic uniform. Bucky’s hand went right up to his teeth, feeling them start to change which bewildered him. His metal hand grasped at his shortening hair. “Golly gosh!” Bucky gasped, out of character.

As Captain America's growing girth strained against his iconic costume, Captain America felt the costume start to change. The complex, high tech fabric began to change to simple cotton, stretching across his gut, as it became a t-shirt covered in mustard and grease stains with massive sweat stains under the arms. Captain's tactical pants began to shorten as pockets appeared all over it. They lightened to a khaki color before finally becoming a pair of cargo shorts. Finally, his boots turned into a pair of strappy sandals with smelly yellowed socks.

Meanwhile, Bucky watched in horror as his shirt turned into a white cotton-poly blend button down that buttoned all the way to the top. His pants started rising up his torso until they stopped just below his chest. This also meant they were too short in the bottom, showing his socks as they turned white and his boots became super shiny black leather shoes. A pair of suspenders suddenly appeared, keeping the pants in place as a black vinyll pocket protector appeared in Bucky's pocket

They tried to call out to each other but Captain America found himself with a severe stutter, and Bucky with a lisp.

“Bu-bu-bu-bu-bucky!” Steve stuttered, barely able to get the words out

“It’th… gonna be alright, Thteve,” Bucky called out.

Thanos could barely contain his laughter. With another wave of his hand, Captain America's shield began to shrink down down down and turn to fabric. It slipped into Captain's pants where it became a stretched out pair of skidmarked, piss-stained underpants, the only one that Captain America--no that wasn't his name, Roger Stevenson was his name--owned. With a massive wet fart, Roger found himself looking at Bucky--no Buckminster was his name, Buckminster Winterberg--with a desire he didn’t understand! Both of them were straight ,but almost against his will, Roger leaned in and planted a kiss on Buckminster's lips, both of them immediately blasting their pants with a massive load of cum, over a gallon each. The humiliation overwhelmed both of them as Roger began pouring down sweat and farting uncontrollably. Meanwhile, Buckminster started hyperventilating, taking a puff out of an inhaler he now wore on a chain around his neck.

They knew this wasn’t right! And both of them strained against the changes but found themselves unable to act of their own free will. Their memories remained the same but they couldn’t stop acting like two basement dwelling super nerds! It was as if their new bodies and identities were on autopilot! The two last Avengers were now the least heroic people in the world, totally sapped of strength, coordination, hygiene and style. They couldn't even have sex, just being so attracted to each other that they would prematurely ejaculate massive loads of cum whenever they were able, giving the basement they now lived in a musty smell. As he faded away, off to enjoy his victory, a voice called out from upstairs.

“Are you boys ok down there?” called a voice they both knew was Buckminster’s mother. They wanted to scream as they realized they were both super nerds who lived with their parents still but all they could do was stutter and stammer out a quick “We’re fine,” barely able to get the words out through all the wheezing, snorting, and lisping. The walls filled in with shelves of fantasy novels, the parts of multiple computers strewn all over the place, the floor littered with empty Mountain Dew cans and pizza boxes, as cardboard cut outs of their now deceased friends adorned the walls, making them seem like total nerds as the memory of their loss mocked them. They stared at each other, dejected, but their bodies reacted on autopilot, blasting another gallon of cum in their pants as Roger started farting uncontrollably and Buckminster couldn’t help but wheeze in asthmatic ecstasy. Thanos wanted to be a winner, and he did so by making Captain America and The Winter Soldier into the biggest losers on the planet.

Like this story? Join the nerdification discord and find other guys who want to be huge nerds!

[atomicwedgienerd]

Star Dork

It’s every young filmmaker’s dream to work at LucasFilm. Imagine! Here you are starting your job at the place that invented Luke Skywalker. Sure, you’re not the usual Star Wars fan: you like surfing, and you’ve always been a hit with the ladies, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the proper skills for the job.

Of course, if you’re going to fit in here, we will need to make a few changes. Now don’t worry, they’ve already begun to take affect. I see you’re squinting. Here, try these glasses on. I know they’re taped up but they should help you see. Isn’t that better? It is, isn’t it?

And that outfit isn’t really up to par for us. Here, try this beige plaid button down. Ah yes, that looks much more becoming on you. Oh look, you’ve already buttoned it up all the way . And those jeans seem to be changing already. They’re getting darker and they’ve already gone from denim to wool. Here, try these nice white suspenders. Wow those look so nice on you and they pull your pants up so high.

You’re almost ready for work but let’s fix that hair for you. It’s styled a little too modern for your job. We’ll just brush it down in front and ah perfect, now you look like a real Star Wars fan.

Now it looks like you don’t really meet the criteria for some of the other conditions so let me just change some stats on your file. Popular with the ladies? Well we’re going to change that to 35 years old and still a virgin. And let me update your address to your parent’s address, the basement apartment. Now don’t worry, we’ve already sold your surfboard and all your records and clothes and we’re stocking your parent’s basement with plenty of cardboard Star Wars standups and hundreds and hundreds of action figures and other pieces of memorabilia. Now I’ll just take your confidence slider from 100 all the way down to zero and you are good to go. Please enjoy your first day as one of LucasFilm’s new IT technicians!

[atomicwedgienerd]

A Band of Dorks

The Vinyls assembled as they did every Saturday at Dax’s loft on the southside. With a huge beard, big plugs, and beautiful tattoos. Dax was one of the most charismatic and handsome frontmen in the local music scene and the epitome of hipster style. His bassist, Vince, had mastered heroin chic, his tank top drooping off his tiny frame, his super skinny jeans hugging his legs. On drums was Julian, tan, muscular, classically handsome but with an edge. Their combination of raw talent and good looks had them playing bigger and bigger shows every week. Infamy was just around the corner.

Dax was halfway through the first verse of their new sure-to-be-hit when he felt a charge go through the air. The sound dropped out from around him and time came to a halt. A mysterious ball of light appeared before him. Dax was certain this was some sort of acid flashback when the light began speaking to him.

“Are you Dax Jacobs?” it asked.

“Uh duh,” smirked Dax, finding it funny that this bizarre hallucination would ask such a question.

“Well Dax,” said the light. “I represent an entity beyond your understanding. A spirit that watches over the fates of every human and I’m afraid we’ve made a mistake. You see, it says here that you’re currently one of the coolest people on the planet and, well, according to your fate report, you’re supposed to be one of the LEAST cool people on the planet.”

Dax just laughed, wondering which hit of acid had gotten him here. “Look around, light thingy. I’m in a band. I’m covered in tattoos. I live in this awesome loft. I’m cool. That much is obvious.”

“Right, but that’s a mistake,” said the light. “Take your friends for instance. They’re way too cool to be friends with you. Let me fix that.”

Dax watched in horror as the changes began. Vince was up first as his bony face suddenly plumped up. Rolls of fat appeared beneath his chin as a pair of coke bottle, wire frame glasses appeared on his face. His hairline receded, his tight haircut turning into a greasy ponytail. Soon, the rest of Vince’s body followed, his tiny frame ballooning up. Huge man boobs appeared on his chest as his fingers turned into plump sausages. His tank top turned into an XXL t-shirt that read “Who farted?” as huge sweat stains appeared under his armpits. His skinny jeans turned into ratty cargo shorts as a pair of sandals and white socks appeared on his feet.

Dax couldn’t believe his eyes. One of his best friends had gone from skinny hipster to fat nerd in a matter of moments.

“Stop this!” he screamed, banging his head. Why wouldn’t this flashback end?

“Now that’s what your friend is supposed to look like,” laughed the light. “But the other guy here still needs some work.” Dax tried to stop the light but what could he do?

Julian’s all-american face shimmered as his nose and ears suddenly doubled in size and his perfect teeth become bucked teeth that stuck out of his mouth. Zits appeared all over his face as he grew from a respectable 5’11” to a freakish 6’7”. At the same time, he dropped from 160lbs to 130lbs, becoming a lanky freak. His shirt became a white button down and his pants became thin black highwaters, revealing his white socks and black dress shoes to the world. A pair of thick aviator glasses appeared on his face, magnifying his eyes like fishbowls. His perfect blond locks suddenly turned an awful ginger color as his hair become an unruly Jewfro.

“STOP IT!” Dax yelled, sending out a psychic blast that dissipated the light. Time started moving again as Dax’s friends turned to look at him.

“You guys,” Dax screamed. “Vince! Julian! We gotta change you back.”

“Who’s Vince?” asked Vince. “My name is Melvin.”

“And I’m Gilbert,” explained Julian. “Why are you dressed like that?” Dax turned to flee when time came to a halt again.

“I can see you’re distressed,” said the light, appearing in front of Dax, freezing him in place. “You should be. I’m going to turn you into someone so nerdy, you make these two look cool. But don’t worry; you’ll forget all about your life as a hipster musician shortly.”

“I don’t want to forget!” screamed Dax.

“Ok,” laughed the light. “But you asked for it.”

Dax’s whole body felt weak as he felt changes occurring all over his body. His beard fell off and in its place, severe acne sprouted up all over his face. His perfect eyebrows thickened and grew together, turning into a thick black unibrow that dominated his face. His nose and ears doubled in size as huge braces formed over his now buck teeth. The plugs in his ears started changing shape, wrapping around his ears and stretching out to his eyes and over his nose, becoming a pair of thick, black glasses as the holes in his ears closed up. A piece of tape suddenly appeared around the bridge of the glasses. His perfectly coiffed hair suddenly got extremely greasy, as if someone had poured vegetable oil all over it. A severe part appeared in his air as it became rigidly groomed, except for a noticeable cowlick in the back. The greasiness continued down on his face which now looked as oily as a pizza.

Dax howled in pain as the tattoos on his body seared and disappeared from his flesh. One on his wrist turned into a calculator watch. Suddenly, his body shrank from 6’2” to 5’4” and his body weight dropped to a scrawny 85 pounds.

Suddenly, his clothes began to change. His beautiful western shirt suddenly became an ill-fitting yellow plaid number as a pocket protector overloaded with pens appeared in the pocket. The collar buttoned itself up as a droopy black bowtie appeared around the closure. Suddenly, two black suspenders slid over his shoulders as his jeans rose up to meet them. They turned into baggy brown woolen slacks that ended about four inches above his ankles. The strain they put on his balls was nearly unbearable until his junk began shrinking, leaving him with a one-inch micropenis. Dax sobbed at the loss of his impressive manhood.

A pair of cheap tighty-whiteys suddenly slid up over the sides of his shirt and stretched in the back like a massive wedgie. Somehow, Dax just knew that he received wedgies daily and, at this point, had just stopped readjusting them since they happened so regularly. Here he was, a 28 year old that still got wedgies regularly.

A tightness pressed around Dax’s feet as his distressed combat boots shrunk down into highly-polished saddle shoes. Bright white socks appeared on his feet, creating an eyesore between his shoes and the hem of his way-too-short pants.

“You can’t do this!” screamed Dax. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll still be a musician. I’ll still be a star.” He repeated this over and over to himself as the light just laughed. “I’ll still be a muSIcIa…” Dax’s voice cracked horribly.

“My… my voice!” he screamed in a creaky, nasally tone. A fierce migraine overtook him as he started forgetting chord progressions, the songs he had written, even how to hold a guitar. Those parts of his brain were replaced with chess maneuvers, D&D campaigns, complex mathematics and an encyclopedic knowledge of every episode of Star Trek, Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica. He began to hyperventilate and found an inhaler in his hand. He took two sharp puffs and started breathing normally again.

“You have a terrible voice,” laughed the light. “You have absolutely no musical knowledge. And I doubt someone with severe asthma such as yourself would be capable of holding a note for any period of time. You’ll never be a musician now. But don’t worry, in this reality—the proper reality—you’ve got a job perfect for someone like yourself.” Dax’s head filled with knowledge of his day job: a part time gig at Radio Shack.

“Of course, a part time Radio Shack employee such as yourself can’t afford all of this!” said the light, flying around his decked out loft. Everything became hazy and suddenly Dax found himself not in the loft he had spent years decorating, but back in his mother’s wood paneled basement. His instruments were gone, replaced with boxes of comics and a gaming computer. In front of him, a large gaming table sat, with an in progress game of Dungeons and Dragons laying across it.

A look of utter panic stretched across Dax’s face, or at least the light thought it was panic. It was difficult to tell what Dax’s expression was what with all the acne and that huge unibrow and those ridiculously thick, taped up glasses. Dax caught a glimpse of himself in the mirrored wall: the glasses, the greasy hair, the zits, the ill-fitting shirt, the pocket protector, the bow tie, the suspenders, his tiny frame, the highwater pants with the white socks and saddle shoes. He couldn’t believe it. He was the nerdiest person on the planet, he just had to be.

“So there you have it,” said the light. “This is who you were always meant to be. Oh, and as per your request, you still have full memory of your life as a sexy, talented, hipster musician. You’ll never forget. Every morning, you’ll wake up and think you’re still him and then you’ll look in the mirror and remember what a nerd you are. You’ll be working at Radio Shack and remember how glamorous your life used to be. You’ll hang out with these two dorks and remember how cool of a trio you used to be. And when you’re stuck playing video games or coding on a computer, you’ll think about how much you used to love playing music. But this is it. This is your life now.” Dax couldn’t even respond as the light fizzled out and time started moving again.

Overwhelmed by how weak his new body was, Dax collapsed on the ground. He struggled to get up and then fell again. He was so clumsy now. He pulled himself up to the chair at the D&D table and sat silently.

“Earth to Dexter,” said Melvin, farting loudly as he drank some Mountain Dew and ran his fingers through his greasy ponytail. “Earth to Dexter.”

“What happens when we go throw the door?” asked Gilbert as he pushed his glasses up his massive nose and wiped it with his sleeve. “Are you there Dexter?”

Dax looked up at his two extremely nerdy friends, realizing that these were probably the only two people on the planet that would consider being friends with him now. “Y-y-y-yesh, I’m h-h-h-here. I’m D-d-d-dexshter,” he said, wincing at the double whammy of his speech impediment and stutter. “You o-o-o-open the door and th-th-there’sh a whole g-g-g-group of Orcsh!” He wheezed and took a hit off his asthma inhaler, thinking back to the last show he had played. He wanted to go back there so bad, but that was over. This was his new life, and he was stuck with it, no matter how badly he hated it.