#im supposed to do that at home too but i dont have the energy
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guinevereslancelot · 1 year ago
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my supervisor felt the psychic vibes of me searching for other jobs on my lunch break so he pulled me aside for a meeting about how i'm not good enough at my job <3
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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months ago
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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faaun · 6 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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bunnihearted · 17 days ago
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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gay-fordeath · 3 months ago
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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tendebill · 2 years ago
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[wip]
i have been working on this ezioleo request for so longgggg,, im about halfway through coloring and then i can do some MINOR shading
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newtness532 · 2 years ago
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im going to have to start studying tomorrow
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d3stinyist1red · 27 days ago
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ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ɢʏᴀʀᴜ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ 𝟸
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yan gyaru who is your clingy bestfriend
Every morning, he made sure to time his arrival perfectly so that he’d “accidentally” run into you near the lockers. "N/n!~" He grinned at you as you opened you locker, twirling his hair.
“Kajiro,” you greeted, adjusting your bag. “What’s up?”
“Just waiting for my favorite person, obviously.” He grinned, stepping closer. “You know, we should totally hang out after school today. I’ve been thinking about you all morning.” He pouted, trying to convince you. "wait no, we should have a sleepover!" His face lit up like a Christmas tree, eyes sparkling with excitement as you stared at him confused
"Im bus-"
"Okay, ill be at your house at 3pm, baby!" He said as he waved at you and left, blowing you a kiss.
meanwhile ur friend next to you looks at u weirdly "how tf did you bag that" You js shrugged
yan gyaru who while during class, spams u
ᴋ𝟺ᴊɪғᴏʀʟɪғᴇᴇᴇᴇ ׂ
hiii n/n :3
lets meet uppp!!!!
i wanna see ur faceee ;3
babyyyyy cmonnnn
im SOOOOO bored in this class without uuuu
i need to see u before i go crazyyyy :(
ʜᴏᴇsʟᴜᴠʏ/ɴ
bruh no
last time we met up in the middle of class, u wanted me to js skip n go on a date
n stop texting im abt to get my phone taken by the teacher
ᴋ𝟺ᴊɪғᴏʀʟɪғᴇᴇᴇᴇ ׂ
:( n/n ur so mean!
n change ur username nowwww!!!!
im supposed to be the only hoe that loves u!!!
GASPPP
do u have other hoes?!?!?!??! Are u cheating??!?!?! Youve been playing hello kitty adventure with some other bitches?!??!!?N/n, i will rip their scalp off their head, and throw a table at them.
Y/n L/n, who are the bitches u call hoes?
y/n, if u dont block them now, ur gonnna see me on the news for murder.
yan gyaru who during english class, just writes poets about his love to you. In art, he draws you and him getting married. In math, he daydreams about the day you guys live in a cute cottage home with your 2 bunnies, and a cat.
yan gyaru who once the final bell rings, hes OUT that class, practically running out to go to your class so you wont leave him.
yan gyaru who finally found you, and was huffing and puffing from all that running before grinning at you. "Lets go, babe?" He said, grabbing your backpack from your shoulders and carrying it himself.
It’s Friday night, and you’ve somehow got dragged into having a sleepover with the guy who’s been obsessively crushing on you for ages—your bubbly gyaru friend, who just can’t get enough of you.
The whole walk to your house, he was gushing and nonstop talking about how fun it was gonna be. “Babe! This is gonna be so fun, I can’t wait!” he chirps, holding onto your arm tightly as if he has doubts that you were gonna run away.
yan gyaru who from the second he steps in your home, he’s a non-stop chatterbox. He’s talking about everything—school, the latest drama, his favorite new clothes, and of course, you. His eyes are constantly on you, lighting up every time you laugh or even just nod along, internally cheering that he made you laugh.
“Oh my god, Y/N, have you seen the latest episode of that show we talked about? We have to watch it together tonight! It’s gonna blow your mind!” He said as he played with your hair.
You can tell he’s beyond excited just to be around you, and his energy is contagious. He’s always smiling, laughing, and playfully bumping your shoulder whenever he makes a joke.
yan gyaru whose endlessly complimenting you. He just can’t stop complimenting you. Whether you’re dressed up or in casual sleepover clothes, he’s still in awe of you. “You look cute even in pajamas, Y/N. Like, how is that fair?” He pouted, scrunching his eyebrows together as he rubbed your arm up and down
He loves finding excuses to be near you—adjusting your hair, teasing you about how comfy you look, or even just admiring your smile. “You’re seriously too cute, I’m not even joking. I could stare at you forever, hehe~.”
"bro"
yan gyaru who inists on staying up late even if your half asleep by 10 pm. He’s full of bubbly energy, even when you’re eyes are starting to close. “We can’t go to bed yet! We have to at least talk about… everything!”
He starts asking more personal questions as the night goes on, his obsession peeking through. “What’s your favorite part of the day? Did you think about me at all today?” His voice is playful, but you can tell he genuinely cares about your answers by the way he intently listens
When you start to get drowsy and start giving mumbled answers, he gives a soft laugh. “You’re so pretty when you’re sleepy. Here, let’s get comfy,” he says, tugging the blanket closer around you both.
yan gyaru who the next morning,
yan gyaru who teasing you about how you slept, offering to make breakfast, and texting you immediately after he leaves
ᴋ𝟺ᴊɪғᴏʀʟɪғᴇᴇᴇᴇ ׂ
last night was soooo funnn! lets do it again this week yeah? :3
yan gyaru who is ur fashionista bestie who is a little too obsessed with you <3
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angel-eyes05 · 4 months ago
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only until midnight
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pairing: prince charming!opla!sanji x cinderella!afab!reader
summary: after reaching your limits with your life at home, your outlook on life changes after meeting a certain stranger in the woods. your paths are destined to meet again at the king's ball later this week, but he seems to be more than what meets the eye. lucky for him, you are too.
warnings/info: nsfw (thats later in the fic though, so i'll mark it off when to stop reading, and when you can continue if you still want to read. the smut isn't integral to the plot i was just feeling horny lmao), THIS IS AN AU!!! if you dont like that this fic isnt for you lol, cinderella au, slight angst, lots of fluff after the smut, smoking (pipe cause its like the 1700s), first time/virgin reader, unprotected piv (wrap it up guys), reader's been through shit, no use of y/n (it kinda works cause he's not supposed to use her name and shit lol)
word count: 6.3k words
notes: i got this idea cause im playing grace in rodgers and hammerstein's cinderella and i was like ykw this would be really cute with sanji. i picked live action sanji because of 1) im more attracted to him than animated sanji lol 2) the british accent feels right for a prince 3) i dont know enough about him post time skip to like feel good enough to write for him (im only on sabaody). also ik the obvious look here is just to make the kingdom germa kingdom but again i don't know enough about post time skip one piece to write about it in confidence so im doing just a random kingdom in an au. the kingdom isnt even the main focus of this so it doesnt matter!!! also i didn't proofread, i didnt have the energy i finished this at 1 am my bad chat. lol enjoy
dividers by: @cafekitsune
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It seemed as if the dirt was superglued down to the floor. As a part of your daily chores, your stepmother had ordered you to scrub the entire house floor until it was spotless. This one speck of dirt had decided to be particularly devilish with you and your consistent scrubbing. You let up from the brush, leaned back, and wiped the sweat brewing on your forehead. Some days were harder than others. The past eight years had been more of the same ordeal. Your father had married particularly quick after your mother’s illness took her, always leaving a sour taste in your mouth when you would linger on the thought. The woman had an interesting demeanor to her. She was sweet yes, but always with a twinge of condescension. She brought with her two young daughters, about your age. They were less deceptive of their malice, teasing you whenever your parents weren't looking. It wasn’t picture perfect, but then nothing was now without your mother. This was just your new reality, and you accepted it with grace and humility.
Then it happened. News came back to your house about a carriage crash involving your father. The image of your stepmother crumbling to the floor as the news was delivered was burned into your mind. Your family had to adapt fast, the house was in a vulnerable position now without a patriarch. The house staff was fired due to lack of funds, materials downsized, and tensions were thick with your new family. Drowning in grief and head of house duties, your stepmother never found the time to clean, and your stepsisters? Well let’s say they weren’t involved in that conversation from the start. You found yourself naturally taking the duty up on yourself. First it was just cleaning the dishes. It slowly grew as time went on, you had gone from daughter to maid. When your stepsisters would make your job harder for you, you would attempt to reach out to your stepmother for a glimpse of hope. Her beginning response was just ignorance, but as your chores became larger and larger, she turned into gas to fuel her daughters’ fire. As if matters couldn’t get any worse, your name was soon taken, along with your dignity and freedom. Bored today, your stepsisters found themselves brewing a new nickname for you.
“I got it!” The short one shrieked from the cushioned chair. The other quickly turned face her in excitement. “Cinderella!” There was silence for a bit, as taller one looked at her confusedly. The short one groaned. “Because shes always covered in soot and cinder from the fireplace.” The tall one took a second to think about it. “That’s too confusing. Plus it doesn’t have anything to do with her name! It has no ring to it.” “Well I’d like to see you come up with something better!” The short one retorted. “You don’t think I can do it?!” The tall one stood up in anger. You tried to block them out as you mopped the floor of the room around them.
“Watch it! You’re going to get my shoes wet with your dirty mop water!” The short one shouted. Blocked them out too much now. “My mistake,” you said, dully. “Ugh, you would think she’s a zombie or something,” the tall one groaned. You could tell your day was about to get worse when you heard the click of your stepmother’s heels entering the lounge room. “What’s all this ruckus you girls are making?” She asked, annoyed. “Oh mother I’ve got it! I’ve got her nickname!” The short one bounded out of her seat. “Don’t listen mother, it’s dreadful there’s no melody to it!” The tall one intruded. They began throwing hands at each other and yanking on the other’s hair. This was almost a daily occurrence when they began arguing. The shrieks had dulled your ears. Almost on routine, your stepmother raised her hand to cease the show. “Continue my dear,” she gestured to the short one. “We should call her Cinderella! Because she’s always around the fireplace!” 
The fire brewing in your stomach grew to a burst. “Stepmother please, they’ll only stop if you tell them so!” You exploded. The stepsisters gave an almost comedic gasp at your rare outburst. All your stepmother needed to do to get you back to your work was give you once glance worth daggers. She cleared her throat after the ordeal. “Girls, please try to keep the bickering to a minimum if you can, I’m trying to work out arrangements to the ball later this week.” Your sisters immediately started cheesing and cheering after hearing the news. 
You had almost forgotten about the event. The king was growing old of age, and with all his daughters married off to other kingdoms, his last hope for an heir was his unmarried son. The prince, the youngest of the king’s children, and the only son: Prince Sanji Vinsmoke. This ball was open to all the women in the kingdom. A playground for him to pick his new bride. Everyone and anyone had the chance, so of course the entire kingdom had been gushing about it over the past month.
Why bother though, you were most likely just going to be stuck in the house again that night. Your stepmother always found new ways to keep you busy on ball nights. “If you two keep quiet for the rest of the day, I will ensure you have the most beautiful dresses among the crowd,” your stepmother promised her daughters. They cheered and jumped into their mother for a hug. You couldn’t help but turn away from the sight, an ache growing in your heart, longing for your own mother back. “As for you,” she turned to face you and look you straight in the eye. “I need you to go into the market immediately and pick up some silk and lace to give to the seamstress for your sisters.” You nodded compliantly. “Yes stepmother,” you managed to speak. “No. It’s ‘Yes Ma’am.’ We’ve discussed this. Is that understood?” You nodded again. “Yes ma’am.” The woman smirked. “Thank you, Cinderella.” She exited the room, her daughters snickering to themselves and following her out.
You dropped the broom by instinct, hands too shaky to keep it steady in them. You covered your mouth to conceal the incoming sobs. You moved swiftly through the house out to the back where the horses were rounded up. You ripped a basket off the shelf outside, flopped on top of the horse, and whisked off into the backyard woods. You couldn’t help but let out your sobs. It was too much for you to take. You were trapped and things were only getting worse. You pulled on the reins of the horse to slow down. Once it slowed to a halt, you dismounted and tied the reins to a nearby tree branch. You walked to the center of the woods, and let out an ear piercing scream. You screamed until your vocal cords began to itch. It was the only way to let out your anger. You couldn’t explode on your family. The results of that were already clear. You didn’t want to explode on yourself. So the woods had become your sanctuary. A place to let it all out. After the noise could no longer physically leave your mouth, you flopped down to the floor and pulled your knees into your chest. Sobs left your mouth as tears flooded your eyes and pooled down your face. You just wanted your old life back. Your parents. Your freedom and dignity. Your name. 
The rustling of leaves nearby woke you from your breakdown. You lifted your head from your knees to find a man approaching from about 30 feet away. You immediately shuffled to your feet and looked at him bewildered. You picked up a sharp rock from the floor in self defense. “Woah, woah, woah! I mean you no harm I swear! I was just passing through!” The man defended, putting his hands up by his chest. The two of you circled each other at a safe distance for a little bit. He didn’t seem to mean any harm, dressed as a simple farm boy. His golden hair was too long, his bangs covering his left eye. He was fairly tall and skinny too, just enough meat on his bones, especially near his toned legs. What stuck out to you the most was the kindness in his eyes. Well, the kindness mixed with current fear. You were so enwrapped with observing him, you forgot you were currently threatening his life. You dropped the rock to the floor, and walked over to sit on a fallen tree log. He watched you for a little bit before you signaled him over to sit next to you. 
He wandered along over and took a seat down next to you, still keeping a safe distance though. “I was out riding when I heard a scream, so I decided to follow it. It went on for a while, so it was easy to track. I thought someone was in trouble,” he explained. “I’m fine,” you shot out. “The red in your eyes and your horse throat suggests differently.” You sighed and cupped your face in your hands. It stayed silent for a bit. Eventually, the man went into his pocket and pulled out a box of matches and a pipe filled with tobacco. Your head lifted up from your hands to watch his process. He struck the match and lit the tobacco, waited for the smoke to form, and then sucked it out of the stem. His eyes closed as he blew out a beautiful puff of smoke. He then turned to look at you and held out the pipe. With some reluctance, you took the pipe from his hands, held the stem up to your lips, and sucked out the smoke. Of course holding it in for too long, you coughed the lingering smoke out.
The man smiled and scooted in closer to you to hold your back as you coughed and took the pipe away. Once your lungs calmed down, you turned to look at him as he was admiring you. “Better?” He kindly asked. You nodded softly. He smiled and took another inhale of smoke before putting the pipe away. “And what would such a beautiful maiden you be doing out in the woods all by herself?” He inquired. You smiled at how cheesy the compliment was. “I could ask the same thing about you.” You both chuckled. He was the first one to explain. “Well I was just out for an afternoon ride, when your shriek took me off my path. And now, here we are I guess.” You nodded slightly and turned to look at the floor. 
“You still haven’t told me why you were screaming,” he mentioned. You sighed. “Just that sort of day I guess.” He nodded. “It just…gets too much sometimes.” As you felt your eyes welling up again, you also felt his hand rest upon yours. You turned to look up at him, a soft smile resting on his face. Naturally, your head fell onto his shoulder, and his head onto yours. You two spent a while like this. “Well, a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be using all her voice up like that. Whoever it was that hurt you like this doesn’t deserve that much energy from you,” he consoled. You couldn’t help but blush a little bit. You had no idea who he was, yet you felt so comfortable with him. “You know, you still haven’t told me your name,” he said, lifting up his head. You lifted up yours as well to look at him. “Oh, um I-.”
You were cut off by the sound of trumpets coming increasingly closer. “Shit,” he said under his breath, scampering up off the log. You looked up at him confused. Was he in trouble with the palace law? Before you could ask any questions, he asked “Are you attending the King’s Ball?” Damn it. You would become a laughing stock to him, most likely being the only girl in the kingdom not attending. “Can’t we just see each other in the market tomorrow?” you suggested. “No, it has to be there,” he shot out. You thought to yourself for a second. Maybe with some extra chores, your stepmother would finally allow you. With hesitation, you finally answered. “Yes.” He smiled to himself. “I hope I shall see you there.” He seemed to move back towards you again, but halted as the trumpets began to blare again. “Have a good day madame!” he exclaimed, bolting off into the distant forest. You stood up as you watched the mystery man escape from your life. 
The woods seemed to disappear around you as your heart fluttered. The first person to show you kindness in eight years and you didn’t even catch his name. Stupid. You were snapped out of your daze when the sound of approaching horse hoofs stopped behind you. Three palace soldiers on horses stood behind you as you turned and curtseyed to greet them. “Good afternoon men,” you greeted. They bowed their heads in return as a sign of respect. The Captain of the Royal Guard was the one in very front. “Pardon the intrusion, but we’ve been in search of His Royal Highness. He seemed to slip away from his fencing lessons earlier this afternoon and the king has been worried sick. Villagers said they saw him passing by through the woods just a moment ago. Have you seen him?”
Oh my god. It occurred to you that you had been so cooped up in the house you had no idea what the prince looked like. That couldn’t possibly had been him back there though. He would have no business around some low life like you. “Do you possibly have a picture of His Highness?” You asked. One of the guards in the back searches through his satchel and pulled out a portrait of the Royal Family. You walked up and took it, examining the prince’s face. You would’ve thrown up right there and then if it weren't for the fact you were trying to help him escape. But those eyebrows in that photo were unmistakable. It was him alright. You just smoked off of the prince’s pipe. “No, I do apologize, but I don’t recognize him,” you said. The captain simply nodded. “Thank you ma’am. As you were.” He bowed his head as him and his men rode off. 
Shock pulled your heart from out of your chest and into your throat. You could hardly believe yourself. That must have been why he was so insistent on you attending the ball. But why? What could he possibly see in someone like you? 
There was only one way to figure out. You went over to your horse, untied him from the tree, and rode off into town, with a new goal. You had to attend that ball.
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The week had practically zoomed by. You had the house to yourself most days, your stepmother and stepsisters always out at the market place trying on dresses for the ball. This time was mostly spent either practicing dancing, or sewing up your own dress. There wasn’t much material in the house, and god forbid you take one of the dresses from your sisters, so you took scraps of fabric from your mother’s dresses and pieces of fabric in drawers around the house to make your own. It took about the rest of the week to make, spending laborious hours towards its construction. The final product was a pink gown. It wasn’t nearly nice as your stepsisters’ gowns, but it would suffice for the evening. 
The night came and your stepmother and sisters could be heard shuffling downstairs preparing to get into the carriage. “Wait! I’m coming too!” you shouted down to them. They turned around and looked at you in shock. “Mother you can’t let her!” the tall stepsister shouted. “Yes it’s too humiliating to be seen with her! You can smell the soot from a mile away!” her sister rebounded. Their mother held their hand up, shushing them up immediately. “Now girls, if she would like to join us, that’s well up to her to decide. She’s a grown woman just like the two of you.” The girls looked at her in shock. Your eyes glimmered in hope. It was finally working, all your hard work had finally paid off. Your stepmother smiled at you. Something felt off though. Her eyes had that glint of malice in them. That glint whenever she was about to do something truly horrible. 
“Now Cinderella, where did you get this dress from?” she inquired. “Oh, I used materials from my mother’s dresses and some fabric around the house,” you hesitated to reply. “Hm.” She stared at you, circled you like a shark for a moment. “Darling, come here.” The short one stood next to her mother, looking up at you. “Isn’t her dress lovely?” the woman asked. Your stepsister rolled her eyes a bit. “Yes mother,” she groaned out. “You can really see the attention to detail.” She traced her finger along one of your chiffon sleeves. “Like these sleeves. This beautiful pink fabric. Darling, don’t you have a fabric like this in your closet?” Your heart dropped. You could see where this was going fast. Your sister took a moment to observe the sleeve. She gasped. “You little witch, I bought this fabric its mine!” She ripped both sleeves off your dress. All you could do was stand there, mouth agape and watching in horror. The tall one walked up next. “And these pearls were in my drawer!” She ripped them off your neck. 
Within the next 30 seconds, your sisters found some excuse to tear of each piece of fabric off your dress. You tried desperately to get them off you, but it was no use. Through the chaos, you could see your stepmother smirking by the door. Your eyes welled up with water as you could do nothing but watch. “Girls, girls!” your stepmother called out. “That’s quite enough!” The girls stopped, hair ratted, looking at what they had done to you. The tall one was smiling. The short one had the slightest bit of remorse in her eye. But it disappeared as soon as they collected themselves and walked out the door to the carriage. Their mother was about to follow them out the door. Before, she stopped. “Just as I said. Going to the ball is up to you. You’ll just have to decide if you want to go with a dress or not.” You couldn’t even say a word to her. “Goodnight, my dear.” She closed the door. 
The silence of the foyer was choking you. You mindlessly shuffled to the backyard. Disassociated beyond belief, you took a seat on a bench outside. The tears came out naturally, without you even making a sound. It was all gone. The chance at a normal life. Just go to outside and feel like a human being for the night. To see him again. He wasn’t even at the front of your mind for once. You just wanted to curl up and disappear.  
Out of the corner of your eye, a silver glimmer could be seen on the other side of the yard. You wiped your eyes and looked up to see a tall woman, in a beautiful white ballgown, a glowing wand in her hand, and..were those wings? You must be hallucinating, theres no way. Still being dissociated during the ordeal. The woman explained she was your Fairy Godmother, and that she could send you to the ball. She created a carriage out of one of the pumpkins in the garden, coachmen and horses out of the scuttering mice, and a magical light blue ballgown for you out of thin air. The finishing touch were a pair of shimmering glass slippers. You couldn’t believe your eyes. The woman explained the details of the spell. “While the spell lasts, no one at the ball will recognize you. This will give you anonymity.” That was a relief. You were worried over your step family. Prince Sanji probably wouldn’t either. You didn’t mind though. This was just an opportunity to get out there. “The spell will also wear off by midnight. That means all of this is gone by 12:01,” she continued. You accepted the terms, and next thing you know, you were off to the ball in your pumpkin.
As you stepped out of the carriage and onto the stairs for the castle, you felt like a little girl. Living out your dream as a princess. It was too good to be true. The other girls with their husbands walked gracefully up the stairs. You seemed to have gotten there a little late, everyone in the ballroom already. You gathered your courage, and your dress, and made your way up the stairs and into the castle. The beautiful golden accents and stone pillars were a marvel for the eye. The orchestra playing was more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
As you scouted the room, you could see the row of women lined up to greet His Highness. Sanji sat bored, more cleaned up from the last time you saw him and in a white coat with gold accents, and red dress pants. His hair still covered his eye, and you could see the king swatting at him to tuck it away. Embarrassingly, you caught yourself staring at him from up upon the balcony. Get a grip. It was stupid to spend your time fantasizing over a prince. He wouldn’t even remember who you were. But your heart couldn’t help but skip a beat when you made split second eye contact with him. Before you could see him go back for a second glance, you had already made your way to wander about the rest of the palace. 
Ironically, you found yourself too nervous to dance with the other guests. You instead spent your time admiring the architecture of the castle. The grand piano in the center of one of the lounge room caught your attention. Your mother had taught you how to play when you were young, and wanting to see how well you remembered, you pulled out one of the sheets of music and began to play. Music filled the room as you became so wrapped in the passion of playing. It seemed as if hours had gone by when it was only mere seconds.
“No one’s played that old thing in years,” a familiar voice spoke. You could tell it was Sanji before even needing to turn around. You immediately ceased playing and jolted up from your seat. “Oh, I do apologize!” you shot out, frazzled.. “No, no, I’m sorry for startling you, my lady!” he interjected, walking closer to you and raising his hands up in defense. “I was just admiring the piano, Your Highness.” Remember you forgot to address him properly, you curtsey, your big dress laying on the floor, and lower you chin.
You hear his footsteps move towards you, then feel his finger as it rests underneath your chin and pull it up to face him. “Indeed.” You feel his hot breath on your face as your stomach swarms with butterflies. He’s closer to you than he intended to be. He looks at you with comforting eyes and a familiarity. That wasn’t possible though, the Fairy Godmother said the spell forbade anyone from recognizing you. You couldn’t help but wonder though what he was thinking right about now. All you could think about was how beautiful his lips looked right about now, spending moments to stare at them, as he did yours. Before anything can get too messy, Sanji clears his throat and steps away. “You played beautifully.” “Thank you, Your Highness.” “Please, call me Sanji, Your Highness is too formal.” You smiled at his suggestion.
“Do you know how to play it?” you asked him, trying to break the tension. “My father tried to get me lessons, but I had a hard time paying attention,” he said as he took a seat down on the piano bench. “I can try though.” He stretched his fingers and begun to play the melody on the sheet of paper. You took a few steps back and rested your head on the base of the piano, watching him hypnotically while he played. The was his fingers graced the keys was mesmerizing to the plain eye. Once he finished, he smiled and look up at you. “You’re blushing, my lady,” he teased. You immediately snapped out of your daze, lifted your head and cleared your throat. “Oh, my apologies.” “It’s quite alright.” Sanji looked out behind the door and noticed the music being played in the ballroom. He then bowed, reaching out his hand to you. “Would you give me the honor of joining me on the dance floor?” Your blush grew even hotter. “Oh, I’m afraid I’m not much of a dancer.” He lifted up, and took your hand in his. “Well then, I suppose we will just make the rest of the castle our ballroom.” You stared at him confused. “We can’t have anyone else see you fumbling on your feet, can we?” You both giggled childishly as he took your waist and you rested your hand on his shoulder. 
Sanji’s feet seemed to glide across the floor as he took you into a dance. You tried to match his movements, but your feet couldn’t help but stumble as you twirled along the floor. Your breath got slightly heavier as your embarrassment grew. “Are you alright, my dear?” Sanji asked with concern. “I’m sorry, I’m not very well versed with this dance,” you replied. Sanji smiled. “I guess I’ll just have to teach you.” He began to call out the movements you needed to make for the dance. “Left foot to the right, right foot forward…and twirl,” and so on and so forth. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see how hypnotically his eyes were watching you as you twirled, eyes low and tracing your figure. “See, now you’re getting it sweetheart,” he said, voice deep and low, putting butterflies in your stomach. The two of you continued to dance throughout the halls of the castle, eventually making your way to the balcony you had spotted him the first time.
It had taken a bit to remember, but it suddenly struck that you were dancing with the prince. This thought was brought back to you when you noticed every guest at the party staring at you and Sanji up on the balcony. “Sanji?” you whispered. He hummed low in response. “Everyone’s looking at you.” He chuckled under his breath. “Trust me my dear, I’m not the one they’re looking at.” You couldn’t help but blush. As you scanned the crowd, you spotted your stepmother and stepsisters. The look of jealousy in their eyes couldn’t help but make you smile. “We should go somewhere,” Sanji brought up. “Where?” you asked confused. “Away from here.” “But what about your guests?” Sanji smirked an evil look as he put his mouth just up to your ear. “I don’t think they’ll mind darling.” The butterflies were back. 
It felt as if the two of you had been dancing for hours. You had no idea what time it was, or even where in the castle you were. All you cared about was being here with him. Little girls always dream about finding their prince. They never expect it to happen when they grow up. But here you were. Swaying on the outside terrace of the castle in the moonlight. Your head rested up against his shoulder, him looking down at you, as if nothing else mattered. You and your prince. Without another word needing to be said, Sanji straightened up, took your hand, and led you into the the darkness of the yard. The two of you came across a lone gazebo in a field of tall oak trees, lit only by the moonlight and a single candle lamp. After leading you inside, Sanji shut the glass door and lit a second candle in the gazebo with a nearby match. You took a seat on the bench wrapped around the building, flattening out your massive dress as it poofed up. 
Sanji walked over next to you and took a seat, smoothing your face with his thumb. He gazed into your eyes as you smiled lovingly towards him. “My dear, may I ask you something.” You nodded softly, eyes slightly closed. “Where did you manage to get this beautiful gown.” Shit. You didn’t know what to tell him. He would never believe you if you told him the truth, you’d look like a fool. “One of the tailors at the marketplace,” you made up. He hummed and moved in closer to you. Your heart started pounding.
“I wasn’t aware your family could afford such fine fabrics. With the clothes you were wearing in the woods and such.” Your heart froze. “How did you know?” you stuttered out. It couldn’t be, there was no way. The Fairy said this was part of the spell, how could he possibly know? “I could never forget a face as beautiful as yours,” the words falling off of his tongue like honey. Before you had the time to comprehend what he said or how he could know it was you, his lips had interlocked with yours. They must have been laced with something, the way you simply seemed to melt into his touch.
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His hand wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer into him. Your hands found their way into his hair, entangling fingers between the locks. The kiss was long, sensual, as Sanji explored your mouth for the first time. All you could do was let him take the lead, your hands tracing down his neck, humming as his tongue slipped into your mouth. In a swift motion, overtaking your dress with him, he slides you on top of his lap, where his aching erection becomes noticeable incredibly quick. You could feel him throbbing, begging, beneath you. His hand fumbled down the poof of your tulle skirt, and up your bare legs as he went to feel your ass. 
As his hands went up, his mouth went down, leaving wet, sloppy kisses along your neck, sucking and marking as he went. You couldn’t help but make noise as he played with your ass like putty and sucked the essence out of your skin. “Oh could this really be happening to me,” you lowly moaned out. You could feel Sanji smiling against your neck, grabbing your ass harder in response. You could feel his cock growing bigger and his breath getting more frantic by the second. He suddenly moved his hands out of your dress, and separated his mouth from your neck, leaving a trail of saliva.
“May I?” he asked, desperation in his eyes. You froze up a little bit. “I’ve never done it before,” you warned. He paused for a moment, then nodded gently. “It’s okay, I’ll go easy.” You thought about it for a moment, then gave him a nod. With this, he effortlessly lifted you up in his arms and carried you to the gazebo floor. He laid you down gently on your back, then leaned back and unlatched his belt. He pulled his pants down ever so slightly, allowing just enough room for his cock to spring up in an almost comedic fashion. Sanji then pushed the fabric of your dress to the side as he searched for your underwear, getting closer to you. 
You see him come and lean over you, kissing the top of your slightly exposed breast as he guides his tip across your hole with his hand. He had barely inserted himself into you and you were already mewling like a wild animal. You only got louder as more of his shaft entered your dripping cunt. Your fingers dug into his back as he braced and let out a few groans of his own. “God you’re so tight…” he groaned. Once he was finally inside of you he began to slowly rock back and forth, sending waves from your cunt to your brain. 
His mouth moved back to yours as he absorbed all of your moans as his pace picked up. “So lucky I ran into the woods that day,” he gasped out between kisses and thrusts. “Your pussy’s so good. Molding perfectly to my cock.” You couldn’t even fully process what he was saying, so enwrapped in the experience at hand. You were sent into further delirium as he picked up the pace even more. Desperate for more of you, Sanji hiked up your leg onto his shoulder to get even deeper into your pussy. The bliss was overwhelming. “Go harder Sanji,” you managed to moan out. “I can take you.” Sanji couldn’t help but chuckle, but he still accepted your request, shoving more of himself into you as he slammed his tip into your g-spot. Your hand shot out to the side, grabbing at nothing but the concrete floor. Your back arched and hips buckled. This man had you at full disposal and you hadn’t even known him for a day. “Best pussy I’ve ever had,” he grunted. “Want to keep you with me forever.” As he picked his pace up again, you could feel something brewing in your lower stomach, no idea what this feeling was, but knowing it was coming fast. “S-Sanji, something’s happening,” you moaned out. He smiled and kissed your lips sloppily, like it was the last time he would. “I know my darling, just keep going for me.” 
The sounds of your ass cheeks hitting across the floor, your moans and his groans mixing into each other’s mouths, the dim lit gazebo, everything felt straight out of a porno. Your hips began to buck further as the heat continued to grow. You could tell the same thing was happening to Sanji too, his thrusts getting sloppier by the second. With the last final thrusts of his converging into your g-spot, the white heat finally rushed up the rest of your body as you experienced your first time of pure bliss and ecstasy. Your moans turned into mewls as your hand ripped at your dress for any sort of stability. As the orgasm died down, you felt Sanji’s aching cock slip out of you, as he turned away and finished on his own.
A sort of numbness scattered across your body. The experience left you exhausted, barely noticing Sanji crawling up and laying down next to you as he cleaned himself with a handkerchief and redid his pants. He planted soft, gentle kisses into your neck as he fixed you up and brought your dress back down to cover your legs. “Oh my darling you did so good,” he praised you. You looked at him, pure, unadulterated love in your eyes. “Thank you…for giving me this,” you choked out. His lips laced into yours as he hugged your hip. “I would give you all my love if you simply asked. This was just a treat.” You giggled like a little girl. He smiled back and continued to kiss you. 
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In between kisses, you tried to talk to him again, but couldn’t keep from giggling as he shut you up before you could continue. “Sanji.” Kiss. “Sanji…” Kiss and giggle. “Sanji!” This time he slipped in a little bit of tongue. “Your father will be asking about you, we need to get back now.” Sanji let go and groaned like a little school boy. “Alright, fine. But only because I can give him an answer on who to marry now.” You turned to face him. “And who would that be Your Royal Highness.” The silence and the look in his eyes spoke for itself. You took a deep breath and begun to sit up, but not before Sanji could pull you back down into him for another makeout session. Your giggles interlocked with his kissing only made him fall deeper in love with you. “Alright. We can go. IF! You tell me your name finally,” he suggested. All you could do at him was laugh, his childish behavior hitting all your soft spots. “Alright,” you began “It’s-.” 
Before you could finish, you were cut off by the sound of the bell chimes from the grand bell tower at the front of the castle. How many times was that? Shit. “What’s wrong darling?” Sanji asked, sitting up. It was twelve times. You looked at him, frazzled and upset. “I’m so sorry,” was all you could manage to say as you ran out of the gazebo doors. Sanji’s face after you told him will be forever burned into your brain. 
You ran and ran and couldn’t seem to slow down. You couldn’t possibly, you had no idea how much time you had left. You made your way through the castle, Sanji close on your trails and sending guards to chase after you. You made your way down the entrance stairs and into your carriage, which you could see rotting away by the second. As you jumped in, you couldn’t help but turn around and watch the castle as you drove away. You could even see Sanji, staring longingly out for you.
This was only for one night though. You needed to get that into your head or you would run straight back to him. You had a life to live. And you needed to go back to fulfill your duty. But this one night. This one perfect night. This was one you hoped to never forget. 
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a/n: you know how this story ends TRUST HE FINDS HER THROUGH THE SLIPPER AND EVERYTHING ENDS UP OKAY i just really didn't feel like writing all that lmao. hope you enjoyed (i sure did lol)
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vampzworld · 5 months ago
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the one on which he worships you seonghwa x fem reader
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MINORS DNI || this is a work of fiction, f i c t i o n. this isn't a representation of seonghwa in real life. || otherwise enjoy, and please dont plagiaries my work.
this is also my first time posting something on here so... idk how this is gonna go, but my friends said this is too good not to share so.. imma share. :) mwah :3
OH THERES A PLAYLIST I GATHERED TOO LET ME JUST :
summoning by sleep token
Chokehold by sleep token
Right here by chase atlantic
Candy by doja cat (PLAY THIS WHEN IT SAYS)
Wicked games by the weeknd
Renegade by aaryan shah
Earned it by the weeknd
Best friends by the weeknd
Im yours by isabel la rosa
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“A sign from god ? the gods? You are an angel. I am enraptured by your everything.” genre: friends/lovers, sexual tension. idk what else just enjoy <3 luv, mother. word count: 1757... ---------------------------------------------------
You just got off work and it was late at night, not too late where anyone was concerned but enough to get Seonghwa to text you and ask where you were. You guys worked under the same company but have been friends for years. You just broke up with your boyfriend so he had a reason to text and be concerned. You ignore his text and get in your car, you were an hour away from home. The drive home was peaceful until your phone was going off every other 2 minutes, you didn’t bother to check because you already knew who it was. You shoot Seonghwa a quick text, reassuring him that you are okay. The texts stop for a while, 8 minutes later you get a call from him. “Yes, Hwa how can i help you ?” you ask, rolling your eyes as you get on the last highway home. “Where are you?” he asks in a monotone kind of voice. “On the highway, can i finish my drive home in peace?” you retort. Lowkey regretting it, can he get a little demonic ? overprotective. Yea but he just cares about you that's all and needs you to be safe. “I’ll be waiting” he hangs up. THE FUCK is that supposed to fucking mean. You push it aside and the drive home goes by faster than you expected. You had no worries or regrets about the call, if only you knew what you were going home to. You get home, park your car and get in the elevator on the way to your apartment. Everything feels fine, so you calm down. Still pondering what Hwa meant as you walk to the elevator, you reminisce on how he growled his last sentence to you. You squeeze your legs in response to butterflies moving into your abdomen, no that's not right. Hwa is your friend and bitch get a grip you just got out of a relationship. That can't take away from what your body needs. 
You need to be fucked. You need Seonghwa. It's wrong. It is downright sinful, but you love it. Pressure further builds up throughout your entire body. You shake your head as you exit the elevator and begin the trip to your apartment. (candy by doja cat) You unlock your door and are taken aback by who you see sitting on your couch. Seonghwa is spread out on your couch with a look on his face only the devil himself can recreate. “What are you doing here Hwa?” you ask, setting down your things and making your way towards your couch. “ What.. how the FUCK did you get in?” you ask sitting down. He doesn’t speak, he just looks you up and down. Studying you like the mona lisa, his gaze is ravenous and you are matching the energy without even knowing. “You want me huh ?” he asks in a low tone. You gulp, wondering how he knew that. He moves near you slowly, hands gently tracing your legs and moving further. “Tell me you don’t want this” he says as he moves his hands to your thighs. “Tell me this is a sin, tell me this is wrong” he says as he moves up to your face, his breath tingling your neck sending chills down your body. You shudder as he nips your ear, “Tell me you don’t want this and I will stop” he says placing soft kisses on your neck and he unzips your jacket. You stop him and he looks you in your eyes with a look that is ravenous yet innocent. He is begging to experience you, taste you. He is ravenous. Is this wrong ? yes. Have you wanted him since the dawn of time ? yes. You nodded yes and he takes that and turns into someone you never knew existed. He starts at your neck placing rough passionate kisses on your neck, ones that will leave a mark. He slips off your jacket with a swiftness, and takes his hands down to your waist gripping it tightly like he is gonna lose you. He takes your shirt off revealing your boobs, he b-lines and latches on like a breastfeeding child. Playing with your nipples in his mouth, you arch your back in response to the pleasure. He takes note of that and massages your thighs and continues onto the other boob. You moan at the sensation, a heat building up between your legs. 
This is wrong so wrong, but it feels so right. 
He lays you down on your couch, taking your pants off slowly, never breaking eye contact. “So pretty baby, look at you so beautiful” he says as he places gentle kisses on your legs as your pants are finally off your legs. He makes eye contact with you before he gets up on his knees towering over you, the look he gives you makes you wet beyond belief. “Baby, you’re wet for me aren’t you?” he asks you as he makes his way to your underwear. He plays with your clit from the outside, you want him inside. You try to get more friction and it doesn't work. His free hand flies to your throat pinning you down, “Stay where I fucking have you” he growls making himself level with your pussy. He slides your underwear down so slow, you moan in angst. He goes even slower than before making you ache. Your ex could never make you feel like this. “You are beautiful” he moans as he kisses your inner thigh. You get wetter each tender kiss he lays on your body, blissful moans fill the air. LUST lingers all around you two. You moan as he kisses your clit finally. “A sign from god ? the gods? You are an angel. I am enraptured by everything.” he says before he latches onto your clit. A new sensation possesses you and he goes harder against your clit. His tongue dives into your pussy as his nose rubs perfectly against your clit. Sending you into overdrive. “You are perfect baby” he moans into your vagina as he carries on to eat you like you were the last meal he was going to have. He continues to hit every spot perfectly, making you moan uncontrollably. “I-I’m gonna cum” you moan as you try to squirm out of his death grip. He swiftly moves you so that you are sitting on his face. “Drown me baby, I don’t care if you think I can’t breathe.” he says as he rubs your clit with his thumb stimulating you perfectly. “You are a goddess who deserves to be worshiped, if I die between your legs I will have died a happy man. Now fuck my face” as he yanks you down onto his face moving your hips. Sending you into a bliss where you swear you can taste the stars. You finally come back to earth and start to ride his face, the vibrations from his moans send you to heaven and back. You start to ride out your high and he moans louder into your pussy. You cum and he holds you down, drinking from you like you are the fountain of youth. You ride out your high and get off his face. Revealing a drenched Seonghwa, you feel like you need more. 
You work your way to his waistband, unbuckling his belt and moving onto his pants.  Seonghwa looks at you with nothing but love and lust in his eyes. He helps you take off his pants. “You know I have been dreaming of you for years” he says as you climb onto his lap as you grind on his dick making him stutter. He hugs you tightly as you continue to grind on his dick, making him rock hard under you. “ Please fuck me, please I beg” he whimpers igniting something in you, something you didnt know but liked. Liked all too much. You tease him furthermore, watching him throw his head back. Unable to control himself. “Please, Please fuck me. Ride me, Use me. I NEED you” he begs. You slide yourself down slowly onto his dick, making him whimper and grip your waist so tight, you know it's going to bruise in the morning. You go slowly at first, driving him insane, enjoying how his eyes are rolling back. You brush his hair out of his face, and grab his face forcing him to look at you as you go faster. “You are the bane of my existence, I dream of you day and nigh-” he manages to get out before he’s a moaning mess due to you going faster. You are slowly losing yourself too but you want to watch him unravel more. You gather yourself as you force him to look at you as you ride him, he keeps eye contact with you. Then his switch flips, he grabs your hips tight and brings you up and slams you back down on his dick over and over again. Causing your tits to bounce, he sucks on one then continues to slam you on his dick over and over. Finally giving you a break. “Cute, you thought you were in control, sit down and take this dick” he says as he fucks into you harder, hugging you he slams into you harder with each thrust. “Good girl, taking this dick like you should have been when you were with that lame. You belong to me.” he says and he lets you go and lets you ride, “say you’re mine” he says as he chokes you. “I'm yours hwa, im yours” you say as you moan nearing the edge. “Whose pussy is this?” he asks, looking you in your eyes pushing you closer. “Yours, it's yours” you cry out. Seonghwa rolls his eyes and throws his head back, “I’m gonna nut in you” he moans as he comes back to your face, fallin in love with the person he is seeing. “Do it” you say with a smirk. You guys cum at the same time, moans fill the air. The smell of lust fills your apartment. You guys ride out your high together making eye contact, nothing else matters. Fuck a noise complaint.
You guys come back down to Earth, he looks at you “ You are a goddess and I cant wait to fuck you everyday after this” he says as he places a kiss on your forehead. 
This is downright sinful but what does it matter? You're his finally and you don’t care who knows.  ----------------------------------
this is my first time posting anything on here of this nature, so enjoy ?? i guess idk, im super shy and anxious forgive me. if you liked it please leave a comment or wtv tf tumblr calls it and reblog. tell a friend or a neighbor. if you'd like to be tagged in the next thing i post (possibly)
i will link my little uh form for you guys to fill out.
https://forms.gle/toC2XbXfXLzzbPmZ6
good night my batz !! until next time..
mother.
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softxsuki · 2 years ago
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hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)
tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade
if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.
ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.
hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.
but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3
Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm
please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!
Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader
Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars
Genre: Comfort
Post-Type: Drabble
Word Count: 750
Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts
[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]
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You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 
He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.
Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 
“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.
“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.
Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 
He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?
“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”
He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 
“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”
He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”
Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.
“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 
“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.
He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)
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REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D
Posted 3/5/2023
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pinetrees-in-the-water · 1 year ago
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could you write headcanons for father figure tim and brian with child ticci toby? i’m starved for content with them that isn’t a ship or with them all hating each other
ANON THIS IS SO PRECIOUS WAAAA😭😭💕
Im gonna create a bit of a backstory for this AU happening too, im invested in the concept.
(The same events in Toby's backstory happened with his sister dying had his father becoming abusive happen in this AU except, Toby is around 6 when all this happens, I tried making this into a bit of a scenario followed by headcanons so I hope you dont mind.)
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◇Tim and Brian with Adoptive Child Toby◇
��� If they didn't hate The Operator before they certainly did now. Recruiting a child was absolute bullshit.
• He appeared near their hideout in the woods, passed out with the mark of The Operator on his arm.
• At first Brian suggested trying to find Toby's parents, only to find the house going up in flames.
• "Brian we've got to keep him...who's gonna take him?
• He looked over to the boy now sleeping in Tim's arms. It had been hell to calm him down once he woke up, he was crying and thrashing so bad his tics were starting to hurt him.
• Brian knew their way of life was way too dangerous for a child, but with Toby's evident disabilities, trauma and him being marked now...foster care wasn't looking like an option either. The system would eat him alive.
• "Okay...okay yeah we're keeping him."
• They both divided their time taking care of him so they could not fall behind on The Operator's tasks, Tim took the mornings and afternoons while Brian took evening and nights.
• Toby himself never spoke unless it was his tics always choosing to gesture with his hands instead, but eventually he had slowly opened up to them, eating with them hugging them both goodnight. He even started climbing on Tim's Back and staying there while the man did tasks. It was rather cute, Brian had to admit.
• He''d gained back some energy since the incident, thankfully. He often listened to Tim's CDs and Brian's ramblings about Film-making intently. At some point they even started having movie nights together.
• On some level, they had become a little family.
• Until one day where Tim was late to come home. Brian paced the living room, it was 8am he was supposed to be back by now, hed left voicemail after voicemail and no response.
• Maybe the cops caught him, maybe The Operator grew tired of him, all manner of thoughts started swimming in his mind and he went over to Toby's room.
• The walls were lined with shelves of children's books which all stolen from here and there, Toby looked to be asleep in bed.
•Both Brian and Tim wanted to give Toby some semblance of a normal childhood. Games and Books were like escapism, except much better than the drugs and alcohol they both dabbled with in their past.
• Brian leaned down so that he was eye level with the mound under the blanket. "Hey buddy, Tim's not back yet so im gonna need you to stay in your room and lock the doors while I go look for him okay?"
• No response, Brian removed the blanket.
• Shit.
• He'd never run faster in his life, even qhen hia lunga threatened to give out stopping wasn't an option, thorned branches grazed his flesh as he searched wildly for his boys.
• Until he saw them.
• Tim was leaning against a tree as he held what looked like Toby's jacket to his bleeding head, Toby himself was hugging him tight.
• Brian let out a sigh of relief and ran up to them, leaning down to inspect Tim's injuries.
• "Christ Toby, don't ever do that again-" he cut off when Tim put a hand on his shoulder. He looked down to see a gauze wrapped around Tim's leg and the emergancy kit they usually kept back at the cabin.
• Toby was just as worried if not more, and for good reason too. He looked up at Brian, eyes filled with fear, as if exoecting to be punished but Brian's gaze only softened, he reached out an arm to ruffle Toby's hair.
• Tim beamed at them, then winced trying to get up. Noticing, Brian helped him to his feet. He rested his weight on Brian while his free hand held Toby's.
• "What do you say after you guys get me on the couch we have movie night ey kid?"
• "Y-Yeah, can...can we watch Star wars?"
• Of course, Star wars then became a new family favourite.
Headcanons:
• Brian's the usual cook of the house while Tim just buys food whenever he can. Toby really likes Brian's cooking but likes Tim sneaking him Mcdonalds nuggets a little more.
• Brian usually reads to Toby to help him sleep after a nightmare, sometimes ends up falling asleep near the bed because hes so exhausted.
• Tim and Brian have been confused for being a married couple in public like 7 times by now just because of Toby.
• Brian got Toby a small camera as a gift and he juat kinda..snaps pictures of anything and everything, the camera roll ranges from Tim sleeping to some random cat he saw outside.
• They started homeschooling him since getting the cash for Toby's schooling was proving too difficult, its going great except when Toby asks Brian for help with Math qhile Tim's gone and Brian sucks ASS at Math.
• Tim sometimes carries Toby on his hips because his back gets sore from carrying Toby or other work, Which has led to Brian joking about Tim being a mom (he lowkey is)
• Overall they're both amazing dads despite having to murder and steal for a living now.
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ixxivvv · 3 months ago
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toxic comfort severus
(written by a girl with a broken ex that threatened to kill me.) (written by a girl with generational trauma.)
this is just a way for me to process what happened to me, i guess. its been years and im forgetting what happened, but the effects on me psychologically keep snowballing into what i am today. a letdown. forgive me.
DNI: psychological abuse comfort, severus is not daddy, manipulation, lying and lying, trauma bonding.
- "i wont be like my father." is what he promised, but he keeps lashing out.
- even friendly conversations with a co worker are enough to set severus off.
- y/n cant even go out for drinks in a pub, something she sometimes enjoyed, because her boyfriend severus has trauma. not her, but him, "because why would you do things that scare me? you love me dont you?" she misses the taste of a mojito or a random energy drink mix, the banter with strangers, watching the patrons play darts or smoking a cigarette. all because he dosent like it. the bartender missed her, but ignored it.
- forces y/n to comply with his aspirations, never her.
- she has to change for him because "she loves him." at least, thats what he thinks. y/n fell out of love the moment she saw through him- a broken child. but its too late and completely drained of energy, sucked the life out of y/n.
visiting cokesworth.
- his home in spinners end dosent look lived in. it has objects, a chair, books, tea, food. but its just cold. you can't explain why.
- you just both sit in silence as he pours you a cup of tea and serves you biscuits to pair. its like you are with a stranger but youve known each other for a year now. you know this house, but only just know it.
- realising you know everything about him, but you dont at the same time. you want to know, but dont want to set him off.
- he gets up from his chair to brush a piece of hair out of your sight. taking pigeon bites out of a jammie, you took in surprise of his sudden supposed kindness. the corners of his mouth curled. good, hes in a good mood.. now, gotta keep this up.
- "dear, sit on my lap." you comply. you lay in his chest, feeling his heartbeat and fabric on his clothes on your cheek. "good." you dont make eye contact with him. both of your eyes, severus too- were dark in color, and desolate.
- "look at me. good girl." as he brushes your features. this moment wont last, this is the man that is draining your soul out. this man, his kindness was mere an act to have his hands on you. was this an act too, because severus, you enjoy the act of yourself doing this?
- it confused you. but you were too tired to persue that mystery. you had enough, he yelled and pushed you around his problems right next to your ear.
- he recognises this as well. the way before you were dating, what he saw was a bright, youthful, and sometimes reckless admittedly pretty girl.
- the way you smiled and greeted people when people were infatuated with you. how people turned heads and whispered behind your back, but so unaware. how you knew dark, morbid, terrible things about people, but still some how had the heart to still engage with strangers with a smile.
- he felt obligated to control you down, to keep you grounded out of your floaty nature. it would annoy him, how can you not see all the dangers in everyone? "but they arent, severus why would you-!"
- how stupid you were. you were so beautiful, everyone wanted a piece and admire.
- he had to keep this butterfly in a cage, away.
- he knew it would hurt, it would suffocate you. but, you would one day be thankful for him. that one night you cried to yourself, how people would hurt you. .. how you blamed yourself for even doing such a thing to get hurt.
- you should be thankful for him. he went out his way to grant your wish. but why, he thought, why did you never pay him back? he constantly looks out for you, why did you fight when you should be grateful?
- he would admire the wings on his butterfly. the soft round smooth facial features he didnt have.
- the dissasociation in your face, he dosent matter. what mattered to him, at this moment, was that you werent fighting or going against him. you were in his chest, as he pleased.
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perilegs · 3 months ago
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sometimes when a con is coming up my coworkers and hang out after work at some space at our workplace making our cosplays which is great and chill bc i love doing my crafts in an environment where i feel at ease. anyways. one of them needs to look after her cat and she suggested that we do our thing at her place. which. yeah ofc! but also day instantly ruined from slight deviation to plans. i was supposed to go home. grab my materials. eat. grab an energy drink to go and drink it while sitting on the floor of a meeting room doing stuff to foam clay. but now i have to go to someone's house. i havent been there before. i am not at ease at anyone's house almost ever. i will be too anxious to get shit done. i will not be able to enjoy my energy drink as i dont want to be sipping it at someones House yknow. and i'm also terrified of being in the way or in someone's turf when im not at all familiar with the place. i cant sit on the floor at someones fancy home idk if i can manage working under conditions that aren't shrimp pose.
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dapperrokyuu · 1 year ago
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Youll show concern for some people and say you hope they get better, and then theyll start telling you about how they "dont get" abortion.
Had some weird interactions today, but it is what it is, lol.
#dee p thoughts#bro like did I askkk#this guy sounded like he was in pain so I asked if he was okay and such and went back to my own thing#and then he told me happy mothers day which is like cool normal guys just being extra nice#I say Im thankful for all the women in the world and mothers since I agree that we wouldnt be there without them and then he hits me with#All That lol. I was like actually flabbergasted because I did not sign up to have this conversation??? this was supposed to be a one and#done statement on my end????? context that we're in a library and I was just printing things and using the rest of my computer time before#went home- I wasnt sure what I should say or even if I should because I dont want to get in a fight with this random man in a library??????#I just started tuning him out after that like. and he starts mumbling to himself and Im just making noises so that he leaves me alone. he#said at some point ''just make up your mind. you can just give your baby away'' which is the only thing I really replied to saying ''the#adoption system isnt good'' which is true!!! and hes disagreeing like ''someone will want your baby'' and in my brain Im like this guy#doesnt know what hes talking about!!!!! why would we have children who need to be adopted if everyone will want your baby!!!!!!! but I was#also too scared to tell him he doesnt know anything/your opinion genuinely doesnt matter anyways/you should educate yourself- maybe I#wouldve forced myself to have a long conversation with this guy if my computer session didnt run out and I didnt feel frankly uncomfortable#lol. like maybe this guy is just ignorant but respecting of it anyways? like a genuine lack of understanding??? but also like. I dont think#itd be a random convo topic youd bring up to a stranger if that was the case guyyy- youre literally sitting on a computer next to me google#this shittt- I dunno man. when I was leaving he asked if they charged for printing and I told him they took donations which he seemed prett#relieved about. seemed like he was kind of down on his luck cause I think he was mumbling about jobs and the reason why he was in pain was#because he was walking around too much apparently. I donated in his place because I wanted to help out the library and he told me to have a#nice day. I dont know if I shouldve been more upfront and told him people can do whatever they want to their bodies or like ''you should#google this and this'' before I left but man. time energy desire hope that guy like. learns more and improves I guess!!!
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asexuwales · 10 days ago
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i dont know who i am
what is my identity
i like lots of things
i also dont like alot of things and i know what they all are
i appreciate some things but sometimes they dont really hit the same when i actively think about them
like shadows and such
they seem so pointless out of context
idek who im trying to be
well
im trying to be someone with a sense of self
but as a nihilist it doesnt work out too much
people say im not a nihilist because i have a job i want to do and hobbies
nihilists dont just sit around doing nothing we do get bored
but how we would love to
there isnt a point to anything
maybe were big thinkers who see too much outside of the big picture
whats the point in spending so much time earning money when it was just a system set up because we accidentally discovered fire
if you dont comply to the government in anyway the only way is jail
maybe jail is a nihilists endgame
i wouldnt mind being in jail
but other parts of me are relieved that ive finally found somewhere to belong
my insides clash i guess
growing up without a stable base or stable reliable people in my life leads me to want to find a home
but my personality wants to just give up because life is so fucking boring anyways
so why dont i give up its supposed to be the easy way out
but it really isnt
the paperwork
the possesions
the relationships
having to change my stable base again
japan has become the longest stable place ive ever had
which is crazy to think about
the longest ive ever stayed in one place is like 2 years
the dragon was 5 years but i changed house and people like every 2 years
even before i started boarding we didnt stay in a house longer than 2 years
but why do i desire a stable place to stay
was it really that awful
because i didnt notice it was awful
it was just life
idk how it would have affected me
this stupid sense of self affects every part of my life and my work
the problem i have with literally everything stems back to who am i
i really dont know who i am
its messing me up
i dont know how to find out who i am when i already know what i like and what i dont like
what am i missing
i really feel like im missing something
its not as simple as what i like and what i dont like
theres something else
that everyone else seems to have no trouble understanding
i really need help with that
but i dont know how to work around to that because everyone always stops at what i like and what i dont like
what other parts are there to me as a person
what creates a personality
INTP
im introverted i get my energy from being alone
im intuitive i activley search for new things and enjoying changing my opinion and evolving
im a thinker i make decisions logically and analyse things before i feel them
im a perciever im more random and spontaneous
but that doesnt tell me anything i dont already know
if i enjoy learning things why am i a nihilist
who do i think of myself as a nihilist if i constantly want reasons and answers
WHAT THE FUCK AM I MISSING
when i talk about my likes i dont actually like them
but when i see them i like them but i think about how i dont like them when talking about them
that doesnt include my interests
specifically naruto ive never been bored talking about naruto
what music do i like
all music music is better than no music no matter what it is
what movies do i like
dead poets society
which is crazy but its a movie about optimism
i know i dont like romance
unless i do
then i do like romance
a very specific lack of fluff but not toxic kind of romance
i wear tshirts and baggy trousers
i dont wear skinny trousers because theyre uncomfy to sit in
that's probably because they dont fir properly
but i dont have the money for properly fitting skinny trousers
they gotta have a stretch
i lie about alot of things
i paint myself as not a lier
but i really am a chronic lier
lying gives me a sense of security i think
i can control what others perceive me as
but i dont want others perceiving me
do i want control
i know people find me annoying but thats been so oversaturated in my life that i really dgaf anymore
everyone finds me annoying and theres nothing i can do about that
i like the dark
idk how to talk about things deeply
im so surface level
so why do i do therapy
i feel like i have nothing deep to talk about
because im so surface level
so why am i like this
i wish other poeple would try to understand me as much as i understand them
if im surface level why do people not understand me
maybe my worst fear is that im making all this shit to be way bigger than it actually is and that im just a normal person with some sort of victim complex
just sick and tired of life i just wanna lay down and never wake up again
i wont be losing anything when i die
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